Full Transcript
We’re not perfect and those people are crazy and we’re just normal people getting by. But what do you think? There are those perfectly manicured out um uh outlets.
David:
It’s like watching a newborn fawn learn to walk. Do you know what I mean? The shaky legs. It’s adorable. And this is Gatriarch’s So, Gavin, this weekend I went to the New York Renaissance Fair.
unknown:
Who?
Gavin:
Wait. That’s an entire subculture I know nothing about. Are you in that subculture?
David:
I am not. I am merely a visitor. I’m merely a peasant in this world of kings and queens. Um I’m I’m it makes me feel better that you are.
Gavin:
And for all of those kings and queens who are out there listening to us, particularly the queens, no offense. Uh tell us, write us, tell us, give us a thumbs up on all of the um socials for our podcast, and then let us know that you need to be a guest on this show because I want to know about Renaissance.
David:
Oh, yeah. Maybe find some like gay Renaissance dads who are really into the scene. So um They can be gay daddies or gay dads. Sorry, I’ll shut up. You keep going. Yeah. Good luck with shutting up. Um, so I uh so I have a friend who lives so the the Renaissance Fair is uh uh in New York, um, just outside the city. And I have a friend that lives in the area, and so we will often go together. And so she was like, Hey, you want to go to the Renaissance Fair this week? And I was like, Oh, yeah, that’ll be fun. And guess what? I have these two children. How fun would it be to bring these two children to the middle of the woods in upstate New York?
Gavin:
Um, so they don’t think it’s weird yet, they just think it’s cool.
David:
So Well, yeah. Well, first of all, we don’t ever go farther than like 10, 15 minutes in the car. This is an hour drive, which turned into two hours because you’re in the middle of the woods and everybody is trying to park in the middle of the woods together at the same time. But that’s not that’s that’s not the story I want to tell. I basically want to gush a little bit about the Renaissance Fair because I don’t go often, I’ve gone a couple times in the past years. And it’s it’s it’s fun. And I think what I forgot about it, which what reminded me this year, was that the Renaissance Fair is one of the last truly safe places for everyone to be. And I and I mean that in a lot of ways, because I feel like the your first thought when you think the Renaissance Fair is like nerds, like doing nerd stuff, which and turkey legs and also spending a lot of money, frankly.
Gavin:
I just imagine I have literally disclaimer, never been to a Renaissance fair, but I just think of it as like nine million ways to part with your money that not all of them are not entirely as satisfying as you want them to be. But sure.
David:
I mean, it’s it’s capitalism, right? But but what I love about it is like the culture of the Renaissance fair is this place, I think because it started with these people who love, you know, uh reenactments and or the Renaissance or whatever. Sure. So, so yes, there’s the kind of quote unquote nerd culture, but because it is their realm, it is a place where like anybody, like we’re talking diversity and age, uh, race, but also sexual orientation. Like it is, you see everyone there. And what I love about it is that the people who are the the kings and queens, literally and metaphorically, are the people who are on the outcast of all other parts of society. So it’s this weird place where like fat old men who are queer and trans and into this Renaissance subculture are the heroes. These people, this is where they so I just I I I am very obsessed with bodies. I grew up as kind of a slightly chubby person. I bodies are very something that I’m always trying to like figure out better ways to like celebrate bodies or whatever. And this is a place where people who are not traditionally fit in the ways that we think of of bodies are shirtless or wearing very revealing clothing and they are celebrated. And it’s just there’s just not a lot of places like that. I’m just I’m just so fucking obsessed with it. So we went to the Renaissance fair. Um, they have, of course, fucking jousts, and they have like the procession of the queen.
Gavin:
I mean, careful when you say fucking jousts, because I kind of feel like is there Renaissance Fair after dark?
David:
I wish I I did not see any cruising. Now, to be fair, I was there at like 11 a.m. on a Sunday, so it’s like a lot of kids, but like even like they quote unquote have rides, but the rides were all like Renaissance. He were like they had like boats that would like swing back and forth, but they were manpowered, they were just on ropes. Oh, so like awesome. You know what I mean? It was like, you know, it was and terrifying. And probably terrifying, yes. Um, and then of course, yes, there are turkey legs, there are gift shops, there are things where you will be departing with your money. And what’s hilarious to me is that the Renaissance Fair is a cash-only place. And I think the point is to kind of make it feel a little more like, yeah, you would trade, you know, cash for good. But the problem is that nobody carries cash. So they have this whole separate area. And it was on my Instagram stories the other day of like ye old ATMs, and it is hacked. And they literally try to decorate these like ATM vestibules to look like old Renaissance y, but good for them. You trying to be like this cash society, like we’re just going to the ATM, so it doesn’t have that same kind of feeling. Um, right, but the big surprise for me this year, this is the one I wanted to bring up. The big surprise, uh, having gone many times, is that all of a sudden I’m seeing some like beef. And by beef, I mean like jacked, shirtless, like the the male sex point of view, uh-huh, it was very my friend I was there with, I was like, Do you notice the beef here? And she was like, the beef is off the fucking charts. And we’re not talking about, I don’t just mean like there’s muscles, there’s like skinny, there’s there’s chubby, there’s all the kinds of beef. There’s many different kinds of cuts of beef, but beef and like men being like, I’m gonna wear short shorts and and an open shirt, and I’m gonna carry this axe and wear you know a wolf head on my like like I and it all was working for me.
Gavin:
So yeah. Did you did you get gay vibes from it? Or was it just like men living their best life?
David:
I think it’s straight, but it’s homoerotic. Do you know what I mean? Like, and they know it. And again, open space. These these guys are like, yeah, look at look at my legs. Look at my fucking legs. Anyway, I had a great time, other than you know, taking two hours to park and the long drive and kids who are screaming and just wanted cotton candy. But man, I tell you what, the Renaissance Fair, one of the last places you can show up. Where I mean, we’re talking about I saw people wearing regular clothes, I saw people wearing Renaissance, like heavy things, I saw trans people um very visibly trans and trying to show their vis their transness. I saw um different bodies celebrating their bodies, I saw people in just unicorn onesies. It is literally a place where nobody fucking bats an eye. And how great to still have a place like that.
Gavin:
That’s fantastic. I’m I am all about that. And now I do have to know, were there like rainbow flags and trans flags also to represent or the or they do it in their own subtle renaissance way? Or or don’t even feel like they have to proclaim anything.
David:
I I think that there is a point of view at these Renaissance fairs of we’re gonna try to make it feel and look as authentic of an experience as possible, right? Like there’s no like the joust and everything, like everything is very, very like hay on the ground. Like they try other than the ATM vestibules, they try to keep it as like Renaissance y as possible. So there’s no modern things like that. Like, um, which I appreciate.
Gavin:
You you have sold me. I want to go see the jousting, I want to see the fucking jousting, and I want to see the beef. And I suppose get a turkey leg. So thanks, you’ve sold.
David:
One of the horse, one of the jousty guys, I don’t have the the Renaissance words for it. The guys who rode the horse and did the joust, he was so hot. Like I felt uncomfortable watching him because the thoughts that were going through my mind in a family-friendly environment were not appropriate.
Gavin:
Have you gone down a rabbit hole of Instagram like Renaissance Beef?
David:
No, but I’m I’m I guarantee you that account exists. RenaissanceBeef.com or something. Yeah, I will be signing up immediately.
Gavin:
Adjacent to the Renaissance Fair, except not at all. Um, I had a parenting hack of the week that I thought might be helpful for down the line, especially for uh dads who have kids who are a little older, like mine are like 11 and 10, which isn’t all that old. But this morning, my kid woke up in a panic. Because why? It’s a spirit day. Just wait until you get to spirit days. I mean, you want to complain about preschools and all those baby uh birthday parties and pancake days. Well, let me tell you, spirit days are a fucking pain in the ass because the kids never think about it until eight o’clock the night before, right? And I mean, she’s only 11. Like, of course she’s not gonna think about things in advance. Well, this morning, total panic because, oh my god, dad, I have to have a tutu today. Today’s tutu Friday, and I have to have one. And I’m like, sweetie, maybe the Ask me how well this went. When I said, uh, it doesn’t matter if you’re just fitting in with in with everybody. Okay, Dad, I’m just gonna be kicked off the soccer team because of it. I’m like, okay, well, guess what? Daddy just happened to organize one of your drawers to be her costume drawer still, which we definitely had that when she was younger. But now I’m like, I know that you’re gonna need flannel, a hat, a tutu, uh oversized sweatshirt, a whatever for those stupid ass spirit days that drive all the parents um insane. She was very upset, but daddy just reached into that drawer and pulled out her pink tutu. And did I get a thank you? Did I get a sigh of relief? Did I get anything? She was just like, oh, there it is. My parenting hack is just always hold on to those silly costume elements that at some point in the year you’re gonna need. Um, kind of like, frankly, I have my own costuming drawer.
David:
That’s what I thought you were gonna say. Is like when she was like, I need, I need a tutu. I was like, Gavin pulled it out of his private stash. Do you know what I mean? His private dad’s nighttime stash.
Gavin:
Okay, so that’s yeah, you’re right. That is not an earth-shattering hack, but it is important that down the line keep those costumes at the ready because all through middle school and high school, you gonna need them. You gonna need them.
David:
Um, well, let’s move on to our top three lists, shall we? Please.
Gavin:
Oh, let’s do that. Okay, so is this your week? Yes, this is my. I’m very proud of this one. Okay. David, this week’s topic is how what are the three ways you have actually basically had your gay card revoked? All right. I something we did not talk about is that I just climbed a mountain the other day uh in California. I was very lucky to um climb in Yosemite with friends of mine. And um it did make me laugh that I’m sometimes referred to as the gayest straight man or the straightest gay man that they know. And yet, let me wave that rainbow flag uh uh loud and proud, because obviously gay dad and proud of it. So top three ways that I have had my gay card occasionally revoked by others. Number three, I never say bitch, sister, girl, or Mary. It’s just not in my my vocabulary. And I know that makes me not very interesting.
David:
No, it doesn’t, no, it’s it’s it’s just interesting because a bitch is bitch is a yeah, girl and and all that kind of stuff is a different kind kind of gay than we are, but like bitch, I yeah, it’s a pretty common word. So that’s interesting.
Gavin:
I mean, I say bitch all the time, but I feel like I it has been I have been deprogrammed from ever using it. Um Because you say you you say bitch, you don’t say bitch. Right, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Uh number two, who is Kylie Minogue? Wow. Who is she? Who is Kylie Minogue? I have no I can’t name a single song of hers.
David:
I haven’t when the Padon thing I just can’t get you out of my head. Boy, you’re loving is all I think about. She was like real hot in the early 2000s.
Gavin:
Well, I was already 62 in the early 2000s, so and then finally, number one, I have been called out because I have never seen Mommy Dearest.
David:
Oh, me neither. I don’t know. Is that a thing? Oh, okay. No, it’s a big no, but that is a big part of gay culture. Well, older gay culture. Um, but I absolutely, we we I’m totally there with you. People refer to it a lot, and I know there’s the wire hanger scene, but I I I don’t know anything about that movie.
Gavin:
What about you, my friend?
David:
All right, so and number three, um I love line dancing. I when I was in college, I would go to like country line dance bars in the middle of the woods, straight bud light, miller light, honky tonks in the middle of the woods to go line dancing. I fucking love it.
Gavin:
Did you have a little extra body roll and hip roll in your line dancing?
David:
I was so proud of the faggot who got let into the straight space because I was not of in the college, you’re just so unabashedly yourself. I was just, oh yeah, no, I it was very clear who I was because every once in a while they’d play, they had another uh section where they play pop music. And what Brittany would come on, I would race in there screaming. Like it was very obvious who I was. Um, and number two for me, I think Lady Gaga is just okay. Do you know what I mean? Like, I respect her, I think she’s a good artist, I think she does a lot for the gay community. I I think I think she’s okay. I think she’s just okay. Yeah. Um, and number one, the number one reason that my gay car has been or was revoked, um, I have used many times, unironically, a flobe to cut my hair. And I don’t, I’m not proud to admit that, but it is something I wanted to say. And unironically. Unironically, I used a floby to cut my hair for multiple years. Uh, a roommate of mine, a straight roommate of mine, bought one and I used it and I said this is very convenient. So that is my top three uh reasons my gay card was revoked. Fantastic. What is next time? Next week, we are gonna jump on that TikTok trend, which I really, really love. And it is the top three unserious generational curses you are breaking. Okay, I’m here for it. All right, so our guest this week is one of my personal favorite internet moms that have definitely come across your feed. Her hilarious videos on TikTok and Instagram have made her one of my go-to places to find laugh out loud videos about this stupid fucking thing we are all doing called parenting. Please welcome to Gatriarch’s Cece Kane.
SPEAKER_01:
Cece! Hey, thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.
David:
I was talking to Gavin about you when we were booking you, and I was saying, like, oh, I I don’t know if you know her. And it’s what we found this with a lot of the social media people we’ve brought on. You’re like, I don’t know who that is. And then you show them a video and you’re like, I have seen them a million times. Oh, yes, sure. They’re my favorite. I’m obsessed with them.
Gavin:
You’re internet famous.
David:
Oh, yeah. I mean, totally.
SPEAKER_01:
I don’t feel internet famous. People say that, and I’m like, I don’t know. Like, I don’t know, because like you got those people that are like, you know, like 10 million followers. Like that to me is internet famous. Yeah. Are you not?
David:
Do you not have any like internet stalkers or any like trolls that like consistently come for you?
SPEAKER_01:
I had one. I had one troll. I eventually blocked him. Like, um, but he just like he just got mad. Every time I posted anything that was like even remotely, slightly like less parenting related, it was like he came for me.
David:
It was like he came for you because it wasn’t about parenting.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, or like not specifically. I think I like I I made a video about like my ADHD or something, and he was like, Did do you remember when this account used to be about parenting? And I was like, I literally just posted yesterday, like parenting video.
Gavin:
Like everybody’s bad bitch. Everybody has an opinion these days.
David:
That he’s like, stay in your lane, bitch. You’re like, this is my personal account that’s free for you, so you get the fuck out.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he I I booted him immediately after that. But I’m just I don’t want to like people just people get mad about everything nowadays.
Gavin:
Well, I would definitely say that part of I mean, your humility there in being it, you know, internet famous or internet adjacent famous is part of your entire mojo on your account because it is so frankly understated, and you’re just like a real person. And I don’t know if you’re actually a completely fake person, masquerading as a real person. Oh, yeah.
David:
I did her pre-interview, she’s a total fucking bitch.
Gavin:
Yeah, you are masquerading really effectively.
David:
But it’s so true, Gavin. What Gavin said is so true because a lot of your videos are you reacting to the ridiculousness that is the internet, and especially for you, mom groups. So, like, did you find yourself naturally just attracted to that like version of content? Or is it just like those videos started hitting and you’re like, well, I guess I’m gonna keep pressing this button?
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, yeah. So that whole thing started when um I was sitting on my couch. It was like 9, 9:30 at night after my kids were already in bed, and I’m just like doing my doom scroll or whatever. And um, are you guys familiar with buy nothing groups in Facebook? Oh yeah. Yeah. So you know how unhinged those can get.
David:
Unhinged.
SPEAKER_01:
I was sitting on my couch and I saw like a plastic, one of those like plastic hooks from like the store just from like displays or whatever, like just a hang product. It was that and like some empty bowl that my kid left there. And so I just made like this silly parody, and I was like, it was like point of view, you’re scrolling your buy nothing group, is where it started. And I was like, hello, I have a plastic hook gift or whatever. And then I found a bowl outside, it’s really dirty. Does anybody want it? Like, and then that kind of blew up. So I was doing that for a while and I was like, oh my God, I do not want this to be my fucking niche. Like, I cannot be the buy nothing lady.
SPEAKER_03:
Like this cannot, this cannot be who I am.
SPEAKER_01:
And then my best friend, she’s like, Oh girl, like it’s too late for you. You’re the buy nothing lady. And I was like, I cannot continue to be the buy nothing lady. Like, I love, like, you know, like it really did help my account take off, and like that’s where my account started. So I always have to give credit to that. Um, but I was like, this cannot be it for me.
David:
Like Madonna, I’m sure, hate singing like a version over and over again. But like, girl, that’s how you got famous. So like at least give us that and then move on to your new stuff. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:
Occasionally, occasionally, like I will throw one of those out there, but it’s like very like few and far between now.
Gavin:
But the guy, and but the guy who was trolling you is isn’t apparently connected to your old buy nothing.
SPEAKER_01:
No, no, okay, no, not really. So I um that was like more of a TikTok thing, and I was posting it on Instagram, but like not really. I wasn’t paying much attention to it. And then I was like, okay, let’s try something else. And so I was like, well, I’m doing Facebook groups, so let’s try mom groups. And then that’s just kind of how that spiraled, and that’s what blew up on Instagram. So it was like just my phone was just constantly like I had to turn off notifications for a like probably like a solid week or two. No, just because it was just like it was really cool the way it was all flooding in. So I feel like that that troll was probably like in that group. Right.
David:
But yeah, but but uh to me, your kind of sudden jolt was because you touched on a nerf that everybody in our community, I would say parenting community, but also mom groups, um recognized immediately. Immediately, like a lot of my like I don’t I’m I’m not obviously in mom’s groups, but I’m in some parenting groups, but I’m in a lot of surrogacy groups. And holy shit, those surrogacy surrogacy groups are exactly the same, where suddenly you go, like your videos are very famous for you saying something very benign. You’re like, hey guys, um, I I I was wondering if you guys really like the Dr. Brown’s bottles. And then people are like, You’re a murderer, I’m calling CPS. Yeah, and everywhere in between. And it’s so that, and I think you spark, you you hit on a truth there that everyone was like, oh shit, we got to share this.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, and it’s been what’s been kind of nice is like I really get the the troll comments come when like I’m not doing like mom group videos because I’m when I’m doing those videos, it’s like I’m removed from the con all I’m doing. Is just repeating what everybody else is saying. So nobody really comes for me directly. And that was really like I was doing fine, like troll-wise, because that’s like all I was doing for a while. And then, you know, I have ADHD, so I get bored. So I got to mix it up a little bit. And then when I’m putting out my own opinions and my own thoughts, my own feelings, that’s when people get annoyed. But really, it’s just our like with the mom group videos, people are just going at each other’s throats in my comments section, and I’m just out of it. I’m just sometimes I have to turn off the comments because people are just getting nasty.
Gavin:
But so given that you pride yourself on like having a messy house and having a messy life and being relatable, yet there are those people out there who have their perfectly manicured accounts. What percentage do you think are perfection out there? And what perfect percentage of parents are actually just us, do you think?
SPEAKER_01:
Man, I don’t know. I feel like I feel like there this is just my opinion, but I feel like there are not that many people that have it all together. You know, like the the pictures that they’re painting online. Like I look at these and I’m like, there is no way that that’s real. And if that’s real, that is it has to be because of privilege, because of access, because of money, because of your village. Like there is it is riddled with privilege because there’s no way that there is, you know, a single parent out there that’s doing it all and doing it perfectly.
Gavin:
And if they And creating the content to break about it.
SPEAKER_01:
Exactly. Like there’s just I cannot wrap my mind around that. Like if I would, if there, if that person exists, I would like to meet that person and try to try to get inside their brain and maybe get some tips. Like, I’m not trying to be perfect, but like if I could be just like maybe one level up consistently, that would be great.
Gavin:
But they are hijacking all of our feeds because that’s what it seems like that is the influ, literally the influence out there makes us think that we are not living up to the standards that are absurd.
David:
But that’s the problem, is that like we’re we’re we’re reacting to it physically as a dopamine response, as like a just like a quick like I just want to like I want to look at something pretty or nice. But then there’s the other part of us that is looking at it in as reality, and it’s hard to separate the two. It’s hard to look at Instagram as entertainment and not real life because it’s it’s supposed to be like a window into people’s lives. That being said, I want to, if you don’t mind, I want to read something that you recently posted on your account, which I loved, but it’s very, very long. So everyone excuse me. And it’s a little earnest, which is very unlike me. Usually I’m talking about dicks. Um, but I just you you posted this and I just really loved it and I want to say it. Social media is a highlight reel. When I first became a mother and found myself scrolling my phone during those 3 a.m. feedings, like many of us, I found myself staring at beautiful, aesthetic Instagram images of mothers in their perfect homes dressed in their perfect clothes with their perfectly dressed toddler in tow. I saw these images and felt so ashamed of myself, knowing that I had only showered once that week, if that, and my house was an absolute disaster. I began to think that I was failing at motherhood. I held myself to an impossible standard, a standard set by social media influencers whose job it was to only share the perfect aesthetic moments. I was alone. To preserve my mental health, I found myself unfollowing these accounts and deleting social media altogether, only to be sucked back in a week later because I felt socially isolated and the cycle continued. When I started creating parenting content, I made a promise to myself that I would keep it real and be my true authentic self. I swore to post content that I wish I had seen when I was struggling. Sometimes that means posting funny, relatable videos about the realities of mom shaming. Sometimes that means posting a silly, cringy video about toddlerhood. Sometimes that means talking about the hard stuff, the scary stuff, the intimidating stuff. Sometimes it means talking about the immense guilt I feel as a mother. Sometimes it means venting about my own struggles with ADHD, OCD, and PMDD. Sometimes it means opening up a conversation about the scary reality that is intrusive thoughts. Sharing only the highlights paints a false picture of what motherhood truly is. My only goal is to help other parents feel less alone, and that means sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright scary. I love that post. That was so that was so great because kind of like what we were talking about, I uh just like you, when I became a parent, this is why this show exists. I all of a sudden was like, oh, now that I’m a parent, as I look online at the gay dad community or just the parenting community at all, I should be dressed better, I should be richer, I should be having fun beach shoots in the ocean. I why am I not feeling that? Why am I looking at my baby regretting this? Or what like why am I having these thoughts that aren’t a like I just I felt so isolated? And so reading your post amongst your fun posts and your OC, like you really do paint this really beautifully diverse picture of kind of parenting content, which is really rare because a lot of these lanes are very like we are beautiful and perfect and great, and you are all the things, which I really, really appreciate. So I’m just gushing at this point. You need to stop me.
Gavin:
I mean, I know this is so out of character for David. You’re so out of character. When I’m talking about grateful one, let’s talk about yeah, let’s well, rather than talking about dicks though, are we can we talk about how your kids sometimes are dicks? Yeah, are they ever assholes? Tell us.
SPEAKER_01:
Never, they’re perfect angels. They never say no. No, they’re per no. Well, this has been great.
David:
Thank you, CZ.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much for having me. No, she um, my my little one, my littlest. They’re now they both have their moments. Okay. How old are your kids? Um, they are almost six, and then the um the little still be three in uh December. So I guess almost six and almost three. Um my first baby was a trick baby. He um, you know, he was still a baby, you know, like this term with like good babies and hard babies. Like babies are babies, you know, like some are gonna be easier than others. But um, for the most part, especially looking back, like my son was probably the definition of an easy baby who he’s never cried, like didn’t cry a lot, like was a pretty good sleeper, like pretty chill about everything, didn’t whine, no terrible twos. I couldn’t relate. Um, it was not a thing. I didn’t understand why people were talking about this terrible twos and you know, whatever the three majors and all of that. I just never experienced that.
David:
Um, but my daughter she took a pause and she took a big breath and she leaned forward everybody.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, she said, Yeah, she said, hold my babas. And was like and she just went after it. That it was a fucking nightmare. Like, I love like she she’s gonna be a CEO or she’s gonna be in prison, you know. But I think or both, maybe we see that a lot, honestly. Yeah, yeah, I guess why why separate the two? But no, but she’s she’s so strong-willed, and I absolutely love that about her, so I don’t want anybody to misconstrue that, but um she she’s a challenge. So the first um, you know, the first entire first year of her life, um, she didn’t sleep. Like, I literally didn’t sleep. She had the habits of a newborn until we eventually caved and had to sleep train her, like with gentle sleep training methods before anybody comes after me. Um but those page, um, yeah, but um my son didn’t, we didn’t have to sleep train him, it wasn’t a thing. So then like, and then I’m everybody’s telling you like how horrible sleep training is and what a terrible person you are, and how you’re gonna do it.
David:
I’ve never heard that, and I sleep trained both of them. I’m lucky to have missed that. I’ve literally never heard that. I literally sleep trained both of my kids at three months and it worked perfectly. And I we use the 12-hour sleep by 12 weeks, and it was and I’m so thankful because I was so desperate for sleep. I was so and if somebody had told me you can’t do this and you’re ashamed and I had held out and had to have a year like you did, I don’t know what I would have done.
Gavin:
Like, and but wait a minute, who are the haters who are against sleep training? Is that because you’re taking away the rights and the the the self-expression of babies? This is actually new to me too.
SPEAKER_01:
It’s like so yeah, so um it’s a mom I luckily I was never victim to one of the mom group posts, but it’s in the this like stems from mom groups mainly. Like I’ve never heard it from a person coming out like it coming out of their mouth. No, um, unless it was like a video or something. But um the the the narrative that was widely spread among mom groups, and you know, depending on what kind of group you’re in, like narratives change. But um, that was a big, big, big debate. And um it was if if you leave your basically, people just think that sleep training is letting them scream and only letting them scream. And that is one method, and people do do that, and but people just attribute it just to that, and then they call it torture, and you’re gonna ruin your baby, and um you’re gonna change like your baby’s gonna basically grow up to resent you because you’ve messed, you’re creating a chemical in your life. You let them cry, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:
And you know, you’ve um, you know, allowing them to cry. Um, it’s not teaching them to self to self-soothe, it’s teaching them that you’ll just never come back for them, and so they just give up hope and they’re just like feeling hopeless and alone.
David:
Oh my god. Yeah, and it was listen, I plan on ruining my babies and have them give up hope, but for a variety of other reasons. Like I’m gonna hit it that hard.
Gavin:
They need to have some reason to be able to get to uh therapy. And and we want to make artists, we want to make funny people. So exactly. But that taking taking it back, taking it back to my very favorite tweet that I ever saw ever was that parenting looks so hard because you need to be able to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny.
David:
Yeah, just a little bit, just as a little bit of texture to their lives. You don’t want them to like have like deep, deep, deep-seated problems. Well, I’m so glad I missed that because like as you know, sleep is like so imperative. And um, I’m sorry you went through that. But I I I think you and I are in the same boat because I have a four-year-old and an almost two-year-old, but like older boy who was easy, younger girl who is an absolute nightmare. Um, and will also be in prison and or a CEO at some point. So I totally get it. Yeah, so you you get it, but but wait, you so wait, going back to you like separating yourself from being a parent, when we were talking, you were like, oh, when I was in high school, I was like in the drama, like you were into drama, like in plays and musicals. I was, yeah. And you know that’s Gavin and I’s jam, right? So tell us, tell us about tell us about your theatrical life.
SPEAKER_01:
Oh my gosh. Um, so I was in a few plays. So I was I’m like one of those people that like I’ve mentioned I have ADHD, so I have a lot of interests. Um, so I was in sports and I was in theater. And so, um, and if I wasn’t in a play, I was doing classes and stuff. So I did some local like junior theater things. I was in the Blizzard of Oz. I was the wit um the witch of the East. No. The good one?
Gavin:
Were you a good witch of the second good one?
SPEAKER_01:
I don’t even remember her name. It’s like from the books or something. There’s like a set, it’s I’m glad I was Glinda’s sister. So I don’t know if that’s like that’s not much of anything, but it was like there are no small parts, only small people. So I don’t know if it’s like a pity roll or something.
Gavin:
But then also in real life, in addition to your time as in high school theater and whatnot. Oh, also I want to uh along the lines of performing, I wanted to point out that we mentioned your Madonna mic uh just before we came on recording here. And I do think you understood our reference, but you look definitely 20 years younger than David, at least. Wow. But uh, but I’m glad to know that that’s still known as a Madonna mic in some circles, at least.
SPEAKER_01:
Well, and if it makes you feel better, um, I was Madonna for Halloween when I was three.
David:
That absolutely makes me feel better. And I appreciate you saying that when you were three.
SPEAKER_01:
Okay, yeah, that was my mom’s doing. So um I probably didn’t know it I didn’t know the difference, but but you also have a quote unquote real life as well, right?
Gavin:
You have an entirely uh side career from being uh internet famous. Tell us about that.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, so I’m a full-time interior designer. I work in corporate interiors.
David:
Um that’s a so like gray cubicles, like hard couch, toes to lots of not doing that.
SPEAKER_01:
Um we’re taking that and we’re flipping that. So it’s we’re creating vibrant, exciting spaces that people want to work in.
David:
Um because that’s probably a challenge right now for all these corporations is getting people back in an office when they’re like, I’ve been working in my PJs for three years. I’m not coming back into that office.
SPEAKER_01:
Nope, nope, you cannot take my sweatpants from me.
David:
No, I can’t. I will die in my sweatpants. Wait, so so you’re a corporate. Wait, have you ever seen the episode of Hoarders where they they buy the house from the woman who is the interior designer?
SPEAKER_00:
No.
David:
It is everybody out there, if you’ve A, if you’ve never seen Hoarders, what the fuck are you doing with your life? It’s one of the greatest shows on television. Second of all, that is my favorite episode. So these two gay guys, they buy this mansion. It’s like, I want to say it’s in like rural uh North Carolina, it’s somewhere in the south, and they buy this. It is like 10,000 square feet. It’s all brick, it’s gorgeous, but it’s like overgrown or whatever. Anyway, the woman lost it at like a bank auction, right? She like fell behind in her things or whatever. She lost it. These gay guys bought it, and they basically said to her, because she was still living there, they were like, listen, and it was hoarders, like it was stacked to the ceiling garbage for like 10,000 square feet.
Gavin:
But garbage, not just carpet samples and no, no, no, no.
David:
We’re talking like it was like garbage, it was like hoarders. So it’s like these people who have a an actual condition where like they can’t throw away an empty soda bottle because it’s meaningful to them in some way. Anyway, so these guys were like, listen, we just bought this house. We could technically kick you out, but we’re gonna give you a year to go through and take anything you want because we’re gonna renovate this place because we’re gay and rich, we have no kids. So they’re like, We’re we’re gonna give you an entire year to live here, and you can take anything you want. And of course, she didn’t do it. She’s like, I’m gonna fight the bank, I’m gonna fight that bank. And at the end of the year, she they called hoarders. They’re like, let’s do this. And she fought every she could not give anything away. And then at the end of like they they had like a timer and they’re like at 5 p.m., like, you don’t live here anymore, and we’re throwing all this stuff at the dump. And she couldn’t do it. And they fought her the whole, it was a two-hour episode.
Gavin:
It sounds awful. It was just traumatizing.
David:
No, it was totally traumatizing, but that’s what I love about the show is because you think it’s it’s people who are just like messy and just don’t want to throw shit away. But these people literally are looking at an empty soda can and they’re sobbing, they can’t get rid of it. And it is crazy. Anyway, it uh interior anyway. She was an interior designer, and so she had all of these beautiful samples, and she talks about I’m so good at like design everything, but she had this condition. Anyway, everyone out there, watch that episode. It’s fucking fantastic. Were was that you in that episode?
SPEAKER_01:
That was not me. However, I can somewhat somewhat relate. The the samples, like you know, working from home, uh, you you have to you have to make choices on how many samples you can have.
SPEAKER_03:
Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:
And I will samples are fun and samples are cool. Like, even just like like a little chunk of like black walnut, you’re like, this thing is worth$50 that I’m holding in my hand. Like, I can’t get rid of this, but then eventually you have to just you have to chuck it or send it back or whatever. But like they can they can be really cool. And then my kids get into them and they’re always like like throwing them and flinging them around and building things out of them. So I’m currently like in an office slash playroom. So once like once we’re able to finish some of like the minor renovations that we’re doing, like I’ll have a separate office so that won’t be an issue anymore. But samples are fun, so I can relate.
Gavin:
You’re providing so many crafting opportunities for your kids to think outside the box.
SPEAKER_01:
It’s hard, it’s hard to throw them away, I’ll be honest. Like, I’ll get like even full-size like acoustic panels and stuff. I’m like, wow, this would make a great like bulletin board or whatever. And I’m like, I can’t just have like 17 different acoustic panels like taped to my wall just because it could be a bulletin blower.
Gavin:
You know, I mean it could be a creative choice. Could be totally, totally. Also sounds good.
SPEAKER_01:
Probably not my creative choice, but somebody’s somebody’s choice.
Gavin:
So, in your aesthetic and making corporate uh interior design more interesting, tell us a little bit about that aesthetic that you’re the anti-tope and more you’re bringing in polka dots and and because we’re probably beyond like the Google like bright colors and it’s like a frat house thing, right?
David:
We’re moving on to something different.
SPEAKER_01:
It it depends on the client, really. I mean, um, right now I’m working on a project that um it has like a lot of like um Scandinavian, Scandinavian um influence. So it’s like light woods and um some like really interesting contrast, a muted color palette, but like pops of color. So it’s just about making the spaces more exciting without necessarily being overpowering. Now, that being said, there are the clients like Google, for example, that are gonna have a different color or a different theme every floor or every or every room’s gonna be a different here’s your clown room and here’s your whatever room. Like there’s there’s gonna be your clients that that have that. And but that does make it a little bit a more exciting work environment, honestly. Like when you when you’re able to kind of find those different spaces that fit your needs aesthetically, um, that’s really beneficial, honestly.
Gavin:
But Scandinavian tends to be, am I wrong, taupes and tans and minimalist and simple?
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah. So that I mean, but I’m just trying to and let’s re-let’s reframe the taupes and the tans, though. So that’s maybe a bad example. But the way that’s a good thing.
David:
Well, David, you’re getting reframed. Wow. That’s humiliating. No.
SPEAKER_01:
We’re gonna reframe. So yeah, Scandinavian, I mean, there’s just a lot of um like a lot of light wood. So it’s a very, it’s a very warm palette, but then we still get some, you know, black and white contrast. And so it can be really um, it can be really like inviting in a weapon. I mean, it’s IKEA.
David:
We’re talking about IKEA.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, yeah. And we want to make sure that we’re not, you know, we don’t need eight foot high gray painted cubicles with no windows or light or access to people. You know, it’s just kind of in the way that we um in in the way that we bring that out into the into the environment.
David:
Do you ever show up for a client and just like realize that like on your shoulder is like some fresh poop? Like that you just like you’re like, oh shit. Like that happens to me more often than not. That like I have like a vomit stain on my shoulder um that I was unaware of.
SPEAKER_01:
So I’ve had the occasional spit up, but it’s not really not really a problem for me anymore with working from home. And most of my clients are like national, so I don’t have to I’m not gonna be able to do that.
David:
So you can be covered in shit at any point, and that’s great.
SPEAKER_01:
I’m in I’m in virtual meetings. It’s half the time I don’t even have pants on. I mean, it’s very much like from from here up is all I care about. And I could be like literally, you know, literally just disheveled under, you know, from here down.
Gavin:
Well, you’ve got little kids still though, at least you’re younger. So have they ever um, you know, bombed your Zoom and you had to stand up chasing them and realize, oh shit, I’m not wearing pants. I can’t stand up.
SPEAKER_01:
Well, so I haven’t had that specifically happen yet, but yes, they do, they do uh bomb my my meetings a lot of the time and they like to join sometimes and we say hi, but if it’s a really high-profile client, I’ve got I’ve got things in place, you know, like people watching them.
David:
Barriers. Yeah, I’ve done it. I have a roll of duct tape at my disposal.
Gavin:
Yeah, do not let those mom groups know about your barriers, the ways you are locking your children down and and uh ref making that restraining their self-expression.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, yeah.
Gavin:
In this world that you, of course, are the mom who has it all and has it all together and always looks like you’ve got a fierce blowout and you’ve showered and your house is completely pulled together and it looks like an IKEA catalog, more like West Elm. How do you schedule it all together? Because parenting, by the way, is a full-time job. Work, full-time job, but also your social content is on point, and that does not take three minutes to throw together. How do you schedule it all together so you don’t lose your mind?
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, so I have a flexible work schedule, which helps a ton. Um it’s I I’m actually new at newer. I’ve been at my current position for a year. Um and before that, I was kind of hybrid. Um and I had more of like a local presence, like at a local firm versus something that was national. So it was just like the whole dynamic was different. So I didn’t even feel comfortable posting until I was like in my position that I’m in now. Um, and so with that change, I have a flexible work schedule. I I don’t work Fridays. Um, I’m able to kind of pick and choose my hours. My kid, um, my kids schedules help with that. I have my my littlest, she goes to daycare, and then my oldest goes to school. So I have a lot of time in between. I’ve got my lunch breaks. Sometimes I’m recording content over a lunch break, or I’m stacking up um um content like over the weekend. So I’m not, I don’t feel like I’m constantly working, which is great, but I might like on a Saturday be tell my husband, like, hey, I’m gonna record a couple skits real quick. Um, and it might take like an hour of my time. Go raise our children. Kind of, yeah, just like you do that. I have to do this for a minute, let’s focus. And then I can edit kind of periodically as as the week goes on. So, and then of course I’ve got my ones like you’ll know when I don’t have time to record content, because it’ll be like one of my like five-second videos that took me like nine minutes to to put together. Like, you’ll know. So, like there, there we go. There’s a there’s an industry secret right there.
David:
But somehow the lo-fi ones are the best when you’re just when you just grab whatever’s on the table and you just put it on your head, like that is all we need. Um, so we’re at time, even though I want to talk to you forever, but I want to wrap up by asking you, what is what is your what’s the biggest parenting fucking disaster meltdown? Um my god. Just like what what is your like go-to where you’re like, yeah, this sucked.
SPEAKER_01:
Oh, I’ve got a good one.
David:
Spill it, girls, spill it.
SPEAKER_01:
Okay, all right.
David:
Send us off, CeCe. Send us off.
SPEAKER_01:
Okay, I will send you off. Um, yes. So back in like March of this year, um, my daughter had kind of thrown up earlier in the day, but she was acting fine. So it was one of those things where we just kind of thought it was like a fluke. Um, I don’t know if you get those, but random, random vomit. We don’t know where it came from, and everything’s fine. Random vomit, for sure.
Gavin:
Yeah, just the body is an amazing thing and incomprehensible.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, I was like, didn’t like that thing I ate, but I’m fine otherwise. So we just attributed it to that. Um, so we decided to go to this food truck rally thing. And for whatever reason, I don’t know why we decided to do that, because it was like 30 degrees outside. And um, on the way there, my daughter vomits all over herself, just projectiled all over the car, all over herself. I’m freaking out because she’s in a car seat. I’m worried about choking, she’s rear facing, I can’t see her. So it’s just like it’s absolutely chaotic. So we pull over, we happen to be cutting through like a grocery store, like drive lane thing. So it’s like not like the main road. And I just stopped the van in the middle of the road and people were honking, they were pissed, and it was just one of those things that I just didn’t care. I had to get her out of the car to make sure she wasn’t choking. So I ran, so I parked the car, I run around to the back of the car, and I’m just like waving at the people behind me. They’re like, fuck you. And I’m like, I’m sorry. And so we go around to the side of the car, we get her out, she’s absolutely covered, and we had no choice but to just strip her down naked. We didn’t have a diaper bag with us because we forgot it. Of course. Strip her down naked in 30 degree weather. I’m a wonderful parent on the side of the road. Um and of course, we’re like trying to cover her as best we can from like a privacy perspective, but she is nude. Um, and so we just stick her back in the car seat after we kind of wipe that down to the best that we can. Um, and then you know, we cover her up and just drive home. But it was it was absolute chaos and a total disaster. So and I feel really terrible about it, but it was just like I just need to make sure she wasn’t choking, and and then she’s just covered in bomb and you like you just I want to clean her up and no, that is the we we need that kind of content because that it that is parenting.
David:
That is parenting is um ceci, you’re amazing. We love you, you’re hilarious. If you don’t follow her, please immediately run, don’t walk to follow her. Hilarious stuff. Thank you.
Gavin:
Tell us your handle again.
SPEAKER_01:
Uh Kane C C at Kane C.
David:
Kane C C at Kane C C K A N E C E C I.
SPEAKER_01:
Correct. Yep. Okay.
David:
Thank you for demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast.
SPEAKER_01:
Of course, anytime.
Gavin:
So, something great this week was that I got to get out in nature. And it really we all need, I mean, I don’t want to make this, you know, all schmaltzy, but the fact is, kind of when you were saying what do kids need during their meltdowns, air and water. God, we all just need to get it, just get out, you know? We’re just gonna go out for a goddamn walk because you need to feel the trees and the air in you. And so um, even though it seems like it’s too much effort, um, we all need it because it all makes us more human. So that was my something great, is that I did get out a lot of nature this week, and I’m gonna force feed the nature to my kids for the next week and a half while I think about it.
David:
I love that. Yeah. Um, so my something great this week is a podcast. Listen, I also podcasts are stupid, nobody should be listening to them. They are a complete waste of time. Total waste of time. But um, in our what we’ve been trying to expand our show and reach out to other people, I found this incredible podcast called the Queer Families Podcast. And it’s hosted by uh Jamie Kelton, who I had a chance to talk uh to a little bit. And um, it is it is basically like the good, earnest, sweet, serious version of our show, right? It’s like it’s all about gay parenting. Um, it’s about like parenting from a gay person’s point of view. But she’s like really like smart and nice and thoughtful uh versus me, who just talks about dick jokes all the time.
Gavin:
So we have not had a single dick joke this episode. That’s true. I’ve threatened to.
David:
I’ve threatened to quite a bit. Uh we never had a single one. But um, yeah, so uh uh I I rarely recommend podcasts, but I will recommend this one. It’s called The Queer Families Podcast by Jamie Kelton. And they’ve been around for like six years, and uh we’re gonna be best buddies now. And so that is my something great this week.
Gavin:
That’s what we aspire to. And you know, it’s funny. Related to that, I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed like an egg, and one thing led to another, and the lifelong question was answered. It was the chicken. Oh, Gavin. That doesn’t that’s not a dick joke.
David:
And that’s our show. The end of it, the last episode. And if you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com. Or you can DM us, of course, on Instagram.
Gavin:
We are at Gatriarchspodcast on the internet. David is DavidFM Vaughn everywhere, and Gavin is at GabenLodge when he’s dressed as a chicken.
David:
Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts.
Gavin:
Thanks, and we will harass you later on another episode of Gatriarchs.