Full Transcript
What TV parents Who are the three TV parents that you emulate? Let me rephrase that. Who are the three best TV Who are the three parents? This is Gator.
David:
Every episode, I think, oh God, what if we don’t get a cold open? What are we gonna do? And you know what? Every episode you come right through.
Gavin:
Who are the three parents on TV?
David:
Oh, and this is Gateway Art.
Gavin:
Shut up. So my daughter is a big screen watcher. I think we’ve already talked about my constant preoccupation is please get off a screen, right? But she does uh when she switches from her phone to the TV, I like it because at least in sh on TV, there’s a beginning, middle, and end. If she even if she’s watching, you know, insufferable bad Disney teen stuff, which actually doesn’t watch that much. But anyway, recently she’s been mainlining Modern Family, which So good.
David:
Hey, so good.
Gavin:
That’s a good, I mean, when I hear that in the background, it is very hard for me to not sit down and watch with her, which is really fun, right? So the other day they were watching the, she was watching the episode about, I mean, what the show went for seven years, right? So there was some Mother’s Day show, and it’s the one where Cam and Mitch, uh Cam is being um pigeonholed as the mom in the relationship. And every you watch this, you’re like, oh my god, every gay couple goes through this. Like, who’s the mom? And or in some douchey moment, somebody’s like, here, I brought a rose. Which one do I give it to on Mother’s Day? And you’re like, oh geez. And we all have our own reactions to it, right? But Cam’s reaction to it is, of course, very funny. My so I say, I’m laughing out loud at you know, the antics of Cam and Mitch. And my daughter goes, Oh, you are so Cam. And I’m like, How dare you? And then I think, wait a minute, why shouldn’t I be happy to be Cam?
David:
No, you’re Mitchell. You’re Mitchell up and down.
Gavin:
No, no, no, listen. So I wanted to ask you what character, what parent are you in Modern Family? And before you identify it though, let me tell you, you know who I am is the mom. I am absolutely what’s her name? Tyborell’s mom, Claire. Um what’s her name? Claire. Claire. I am absolutely Claire. Claire. 100% Claire. I’m the over organizer, I’m the over freaker outer. I am the one who makes the shit happen. I am that is the character I most identify with.
David:
I didn’t know we were opening it up to all the characters on the show. No, if it was just Mitch and Cam, you’re a Mitch, but no, you are a you are 100% a Claire.
Gavin:
I am 100% Claire.
David:
Yes. I I am I’m Tyberell. Like, I am like the goofy fucking zombie sweet Phil Phil Dumpy. Yeah, no, I’m for sure the Phil Dumpy. Oh, look, we’re married. Look at us.
Gavin:
How cute is that? No wonder this has been such a sensational pleasure and success for us.
David:
We’re so who who are you out there, listener? What what modern family character are you? Please tell us. Um, well, you know what I will tell you is that it is eight days until Halloween.
Gavin:
And not just the Halloween um episodes of Modern Family, right?
David:
No, it’s Halloween Halloween. Typically, even though we’re recording this uh ahead of time, today is my birthday. Happy birthday for me.
Gavin:
Happy future birthday to you, David.
David:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And listen, it’s my last year in my 20s. I want to make it good. Do you know what I mean? Like I want to make sure that everything is going on. Go out with a bang. Go out with a bang. Um, no, it’s eight days until Halloween, and I thought, let’s talk about what our kids are going as. And also just like, I I love Halloween. It’s my it’s it’s you, it’s it really is this it’s a second to Christmas, but it is a very close second.
Gavin:
So you are home goods just their dream customer.
David:
Yep, lip, blah, blah. Um, gather. You don’t have gather, you know, all that shit. Um, so my my five-year-old son um has gone through a couple of phases. He has settled on Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony.
Gavin:
Oh my god, Rainbow Dash. God, I want to be I want to be the six foot two Rainbow Dash.
David:
Yes.
Gavin:
And Rainbow Dash is technically identifies as a male. Okay. Boy, right.
David:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um and then, and then uh my daughter is going as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. And that is that is a we have manhandled that into her. She was like, No, I want to be an astronaut. You were like, You’re gonna be Dorothy, because we already bought it. Because there was a phase where she’s like, I want to be Dorothy. We said, Great, we’ll buy the shoes, we’ll buy the dress. And now she’s like, Well, what about an astronaut? I was like, Girls aren’t astronauts. Um, but what about your kids? You know what they’re going as?
Gavin:
Yes, thank goodness. As always, we are going with the um we have a theme going in our family where my son is super, super creative with his ideas, and then my daughter wants to do twin, like she wants to dress up with her friend. Last year they were mustard and ketchup. This year, I believe they were going to be hamburgers and hot dogs. And luckily, they are um store-bought costumes from Target. Thank goodness. So that makes it a lot easier. Not exactly like what is it, Katy Perry or Taylor Swift at the end of the um calm down video. Remember where she and Katy Perry hug at the end of the video. Okay.
David:
I didn’t, I did not watch that video. Was that on MTV in the 90s? No, no, no, I didn’t see it.
Gavin:
Fuck off. And then my son wants to be a stop sign. Oh, that’s creative. How is he gonna is he gonna build it himself or do he yeah? We are gonna build it. I I so last year he was a basketball hoop. Do you maybe remember that? It was a backpot backpack.
David:
His brain is in a totally different place. Absolutely.
Gavin:
We built a backpack, the uh basketball hoop was up and over his head, and he wanted people to throw the candy up into the basket, and he wanted to get it. I love that. I love that. So he’s he basically wants the same design. He wants it up and over his head, and I’m like, well, okay. I mean, that’s basically the same thing you were last year, which is fine because it’s still unique and creative and um and whatnot. But I was like, why don’t we make your head the stop sign or your whole body? Anyway, um, needless to say, it’s eight days out, and I won’t be actually building this thing for another six days.
David:
So of course, you know, in true Claire fashion. You’re gonna panic at the end and try to overthink and overstrategize. Okay, Phil. Yeah, I know. Um, no, I I am very excited. I love Halloween so much because it’s creative, it’s dark, it’s funny, it’s there’s candy, it’s all kinds of stuff. But one of the things I do every year in my yard, I have a tiny yard. It’s like 10 by 10. It is a 10 by the five.
Gavin:
Which, if you don’t mow, you get the neighborhood comes out for you. Correct.
David:
If you’ve listened to that episode, yes, they’ll come, they’ll come after you.
Gavin:
Even for your tiny ass um my tiny ass postage stamp.
David:
Um, and for those children out there, a postage stamp is something you put on letter. Anyway, so every year I build something new in the front yard as my decoration. I am not an inflatable, I am not a repeat the same thing from last year. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it is a different theme. And also it’s gotta have a story, it’s gotta have a point of view. Of course. You know, like you know, one year I did the standard like skeletons crawling up the house. I’ve done all kinds of stuff. I did dolls um coming out uh uh of the roof, carrying a body. That was a couple years ago.
Gavin:
Does this mean you had a bunch of dolls on hand that you could just put on on?
David:
I spent an entire year sourcing dolls, and then I had some of my friends come over. Uh, one of our list, two of our listener of the show, uh, they came over and they painted that we had a doll painting party and we painted like fangs and blood and we ripped them up or whatever. And then I literally staged them in the yard as if they were all in a line carrying bodies out of the house. If you guys go to my personal Instagram at David Fm Bond, you’ll see all of these photos um as you go. But this year, I was like one year I had like uh a giant squid bursting out of the ground and holding a mad scientist in the air. This year I went really simple and I have four like Dementor kind of guys. They’re kind of like look like cult leaders in like big hoods and cloaks, but they’re all like six eight and they’re all like you know, black faces or whatever. Anyway, and I have them lit really cool. I have two fog machines going at separate intervals. Wow. And I’m and I’m finishing up yesterday and I’m just about to go get my kids, and my neighbor opens the door from across the street and she yells out, I love, I love it. It looks amazing. It’s my favorite one this year. And the wife came out and she’s like, It is amazing. I sent a picture already to my friend to make one of herself. Gavin, I’ve never been so high. I’ve never been higher in my life than when the neighbors said they’re taking photos of my Halloween display and sending it to their friends and sending it to their neighbor their people. And I have I’ve seen people walk by and take photos. It is the greatest compliment. Anyway, so I’m so gratifying about it. Yeah, it’s so gratifying.
Gavin:
Congrats, it’s amazing.
David:
This is also the year of school photos, or the time of year when we do school photos. Welcome.
Gavin:
Uh yes.
David:
I first of all, I know our school, and maybe this is your school too, is like, hey, school photos are let’s say Friday. If you pay by Wednesday, you get a discount. And they’re pushing us to buy the photo package before I’ve seen them. They don’t know that I know my children, and they don’t smile for photos. It looks like a prison photo. And so I’m like, I’m not paying$140 before I see the photo. Wow,$140. Well, that’s like the mega package or whatever. But are you getting a mega package? That is so first year. We have never, yeah, we’ve never bought a single package. We have only taken photos of the previews. That is because they’re all terrible photos. They’re all terrible. They’re all terrible photos.
Gavin:
And the packages are so inconvenient and terrible. And nobody, you either get no eight by tens or six eight by tens, and nobody needs six eight by tens, but anyway.
David:
Or wallets like people have those anymore.
Gavin:
Wallets, right?
David:
Yeah.
Gavin:
Oh, this, and so this is the time of year that you lie to yourselves that this is who we are every year. But I have to say, I love a bad school photo. I mean, and thank goodness now we, you know, with social media, we look back at all terrible school photos and we love them and celebrate them and everything. But it’s kind of like my uh when my daughter took her very first picture with Santa, she was screaming through it and crying. And it was a thank God, a friend of mine said, No, no, that’s amazing. Like, yeah, that’s the photo you want. That’s true. And I have stopped trying to dress my kids up like it’s their quinceneera for uh photo day. And I’m like, just what I care about is you getting something that is representative of your year. I don’t care. I want you to just look like you look right now, not like you’ve, you know, spit in your hand and slicked your hair down in an unnatural way, because that’s just not who you are, you know. So you’re right.
David:
It is hard not to be like, because we my son and I had a huge fight that morning that he refused to wear a collared shirt. I said, This is one day a year that I want you to look nice. Please wear a collared shirt. But it’s not silly, but this is not representative of him. He should be wearing the ripped handmade rainbow shirt that he wears every other day. Yeah. And I should have just, yeah, no, yeah.
Gavin:
That should be the shirt he should wear. So next year, live and learn, live and learn.
David:
For the first time in 84 episodes, you’re right, Gabriel. Um, the last thing I want to talk about before we move on to the data. Oh my God, another? I know, but wait. So I’m experiencing bus stop culture for the first time because we, you know, my kids have been in daycare. So now that they’re going to school, or my my son’s going to school, he goes on a bus. And so we go to the bus stop. And at the bus stop, the kids get there and they play in the park, but the parents are there. Can I tell you how obsessed, obsessed I am with watching the fashion of the parents at the bus stop slowly devolve over time. Because day one, day two, we’re showered, we’re we got makeup on, yeah, we got heels. We’re beautiful. Uh-huh. When I tell you the goblins and ghouls who show up to this bus stop now, all in yoga pants, whatever they see barely, barely yoga pants, stains. They just look hungover, they look horrific. I was like, these are my people. These pairs, these goblins just hanging around, like, please take my kid to school so I can go home and go back to sleep.
Gavin:
Yeah. That’s hilarious. Yes. It eventually, and it just imagine by the end of the year. I mean, it it will it basically basically just be slippers and a bathrobe, or do people do that? What is it? That’s 1997.
David:
No, no, but like it is slippers and a bathrobe now. There was a girl today wearing clearly her husband’s like pajama pants. She was wearing like Ug boots and an over like a ridiculously oversized zipper hoodie, and then her hair was up in a messy bun, and you could just tell she just wanted to die.
Gavin:
You don’t think she was cultivating that look though? I feel like that is a that’s a look. I mean, first of all, my daughter only wears basically my pajama pants, if I actually had my pajama pants, and Uggs, and an oversized sweatshirt, and a messy bun. Like that’s she’s nailing that. I think she knows exactly what she’s doing.
David:
Yeah, maybe. I I should take, I should, I should maybe rethink that because maybe this is the fashion that I don’t understand.
Gavin:
Right. Get with the program. So it seems like this is actually what you’re talking about, the people showing up at the bus stop. Um, that’s a hack for, you know, like having high fashion, but really pretending you’re not trying too hard. There’s a hack right there. Maybe all of teen uh uh fashion is a hack right now. What?
David:
Not your best transition.
Gavin:
Okay.
David:
Do you want to read? Do you want to read that?
Gavin:
I have I have a colleague right now who has a very young kid, and she was frustrated because she couldn’t figure out what toy her little toddler wanted to play with. And she basically described a scene where there were a whole bunch of toys in front of the kid, and she kept handing the kid a toy, and the kid threw it down, and then another one, and then another one. And that reminded me of an old, oldie but a goodie hack, dad hack of the week is just remember, make the shitty toys disappear. And even though that kind of means cleaning up at the end of the day, like almost let your kids forget that they have so many toys, because it’s like an Olive Garden menu. There’s just too much, and you are absolutely debilitated by all of the choices, right? And um, and just so I said, just think about putting all the toys away and taking out one at a time and being like, here’s your toy for a while, and see how that works. And then um, hopefully it’s a delight and surprise every single day when you bring out look at me, a new toy, and you know, they’re they’re delighted. So, reminder of that dad hack of the week.
David:
We we do a similar version, which I think we talked about before, but it’s the lazy man’s version of that, where we like halfway through the year, we’ll just bag up half the toys and throw them in the basement, and then six months later, we bring them back up and they they feel like it’s fucking Christmas. They’re like, Where did you get all these wonderful toys? Yeah, I was like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I got them for you kids. And it’s the same shit they’ve had, but when it’s all in front of them all the time, like you’re saying, it just doesn’t become special. But when they’re in the car and they have one thing, that’s the the it’ll keep their their attention forever. Yep, yep. Love that. You know what I don’t love?
Gavin:
What don’t you love?
David:
Our top three list.
Gavin:
Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one.
David:
So this week is my week. This week it is the top three gifts for kids you don’t know. This, you know, with kids in daycare, I’m constantly going to parties to children I don’t care about or I don’t know. Yeah, but mostly the kids I don’t care about. So here’s my ideas for like you got to get them something, but you don’t really know the kid very well. Here are the top three gifts for kids you don’t know. And number three, they sell these at the grocery store. They’re unicorn marshmallows. Oh there’s a bag and they’re cute. They’re like twisted, they have like little horns and they’re colorful, and they’re just marshmallows, and there’s like five or ten in a pack. You give them to them, they’re exciting, they eat them and then they’re fucking gone. Easy. I love it. Number two, this is a little gave and lodge of me because it’s from the 1920s, but it is, I think to this day, still the funniest thing my kids play with a whoopee cushion. Oh, yeah, totally. All ages, all genders, all kinds of kids, they love a whoopee cushion and they’re a dollar. Yeah. Or dollar 25. Go to the dollar 25.
Gavin:
That’s a very, very good call.
David:
And number one, my number one gift. Now, this is a$20 gift, but it is so fun and so amazing and genderless and ageless. It is a zero gravity remote control car. Have you seen these? The cars that like go on the ceiling and on the walls. Yeah. So they’re like these, it’s this tiny little car, but it it like basically you turn it on. It sounds like a vacuum because it is vacuuming itself to the wall. And then you drive it like a normal remote control car. It is so much fun. My husband and I will literally play with it when my kids go to bed. We are playing with this car that’s on the ceiling, and it’s super fun. The kids love it, it’s easy to operate. It’s 20 bucks, and it just takes regular or it charges. It just charges in the wall. So, number one, the zero gravity remote control car. What about you?
Gavin:
Love that. Um, so I did like thinking about this about the kids, but in particular, kids I don’t care about. And so you feel like you have to impress the parents even less, but it’s not too difficult to do some of these things. Number three, a book and a stuffed animal, like a little one. Like, and I uh because then you’re kind of like, here, I’m trying to make your kids smarter, like I give a shit. But like a book and a little stuffed animal, a little stuffy, and you know, the kids hate the books, but they like the stuffed animals, and but you can keep it under, frankly, 20 bucks, luckily. Um, number two, um, go to Staples and just get a big old bucket of markers because they’re only like 12 bucks, and you can get all you can get really cheap, basically interesting stuff for like a five to 10 year old um at staples, and it’s way cheaper there because it’s obviously not a toy store. So um lots of surprises to be found at Staples. And number one, a case of soda pop. What I mean by that is like the bougie um funky uh sodas that are like they have um funny names like snot nose. There’s a brand that has funny like garbage pail kids kind of names. For the children in the in out there, garbage pail kids were anyway, and uh like case of those are 20 bucks. And then the kids get first of all, it’s a huge gift, it’s heavy. They think I’ve gotten something really cool, and it’s a gift that keeps on giving. So um, yeah, those I can’t even oh Jesus. Why didn’t I think it to actually Google the name of him before I came on here?
David:
But you know, because you probably just wrote that list while I was doing my list. I did. I know you did. I bet you. This is episode 84. I know you gave it. 84. 84.
Gavin:
Oh, Phil.
David:
Oh, Phil, this is why you love me. All right, so so Claire, next episode. What is our top three lists gonna be?
Gavin:
Phil, do you think I’ve had a single moment to think about something like this? I have been working nonstop since 7:30 this morning. Who are the three best parents on TV?
David:
Our guest this week is a licensed professional counselor and board-certified sex therapist at Sadler Bridges Wellness Group, where he specializes in those tricky topics that many might shy away from, like infidelity, ethical non-monogamy, and fertility challenges. Today, we’re gonna see if he can tackle the trickiest topic of all figuring out what’s wrong with Gavin. Please welcome to the show a fellow gay dad and a fellow He-Man fanatic, Jamie Bolding Bridges.
Gavin:
Hello. By the power of Gray Skull, welcome to Oh, that would have been a better intro. You know, well, maybe you should what figure out what’s wrong with me. Come on. Jamie, how has your daughter driven you bananas today?
SPEAKER_03:
Oh god. Um, all right. So my you know, it’s not so much bananas as it’s it’s just you know, there’s those things that dads I think really look forward to happening with their kids for the first time. And mine I loved like. Pretend games as a kid, so I’ve been waiting for them to start creating like fully fleshed out characters with names, not just like here’s a cat, what is it? It’s Mr. Cat.
David:
It’s like backstory. I went under their personal traumas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:
Like I we were in the bath yesterday, like playing with her, and she’s like, I bought her these mermaids, and I was like, What are their names? Just like this is creamy, and this is Michelle.
Gavin:
I was like, Okay.
SPEAKER_03:
Like, okay, okay. And the backstories, there were no backstories except for the fact that they now have these like stripper names, which is fine. I mean, more power to them. Um, I sent it to my sister and she just sent me back like hashtag only thins. That was like the only response to that.
Gavin:
So that is awesome. All right, that is awesome. I definitely thought you were gonna say, I’ve been looking forward to the full flesh, fully fleshed out uh uh creative imaginative play, and now I want it to end and now I want it to stop because I hate it.
David:
Yeah, because my son right now is in the face where he’s like, hey, pretend that we’re at a grocery store. And I’m like, great, cool. And he’s like, and then pretend that you walked in, but then you didn’t have money, and then pretend that. And I was like, baby, are you reading the script to me, or do I have lines in this play? Because I I am a professionally trained UCB improv actor. I know how to yes, I am this. Don’t give me the script.
SPEAKER_03:
How old is your son? He’s five. That’s exactly the place we’re in. We’re we like call it like the confused director, where it’s just like everything is like, no, but did we I didn’t say that. Don’t do that.
David:
I’m like, okay.
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah, not like that.
David:
No, don’t stand there. You’re supposed to stand here. My other favorite thing that my daughter did last night, which makes me fucking howl a little after, but it’s really frustrating, is when you’re like, hey, let’s play ice cream store. And she’s like, Great, what kind of ice cream do you want? And I’m like, I’ll have chocolate with sprinkles. She’s like, we don’t have that. Bitch, this is an imaginary ice cream shop. You have all flavors. Or I’ll be like, Can I get chocolate sprinkles? She’s like, we only have rainbow. I was like, what sort of fucking shitty place is this? Anyway, oh gave that.
Gavin:
That was the lawnmower. That was the lawnmower. Hot one or not? Every not the hot one. Every single Friday around this time. Actually, they’re an hour late. They are definitely 66 minutes late. They drive by, and I didn’t think they were going to, so I left my door open. Um, layering on to the yes ands and the imaginative play, because this is clearly not an um episode about you, Jamie, just David and I talking about our own kids. No. I never thought my daughter was ever going to get out of the phase of saying, pretend this, pretend that. But then also her her play was just making up names the entire time. She would say, Well, pretend my name is Con Confletch Mellon. And she was very creative with the names. And then she would name everybody else in the circle. And all of her sometimes she would have friends, I don’t know, three friends over at the same time, and she was just naming them the entire time. There was no story. It was just pretend this, pretend that. And she would walk around pointing and directing and talking down to and just naming everybody. It was, I thought, when is this gonna be over? And now it is, and she’s 13 and all hell has broken loose.
David:
So I feel like you wanted to say consuela, and then you were like, uh, there’s three white men in this room. I’m that feels uncomfortable. Let me try to make up something else. Don’t you think? I watched you, I watched you struggle with it. It was Consuela, that was the name. Just be just be open about who it was. Okay, wait, moving on. Let’s move on from this. I want to talk about me. No, I want to no, I want to talk about you because as if I couldn’t love you anymore, your Instagram handle is at Mount Rose Teen Princess. Do you, if you out there don’t know what he’s talking about, light yourself on fire because this I saw that at and I went, oh my God, I’m I’m obsessed with him. I I this is a really quick story. I worked on General Hospital for a little while. The director of that movie is married to a woman who’s been on that show forever. And we were just like standing off camera or something, and we were talking. And I, of course, I started talking in Alice and Jenny’s voice. And she was like, What is that? And I was like, Oh, you know, and she was like, Oh, you know, my husband directed that movie. I said, You would die. Excuse fucking me. Excuse fucking me. So me and uh this other actor, we recreated that whole scene about like, you know, grab me a pack of smokes or whatever, and she’s and she sent it to her husband. She’s like, Oh, he thought it was really funny. I was like, Great, I can die happy now.
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah, I would die. The only thing I’ve ever had some even somewhat similar, I went to see my sister in a play, and her co-star was um Jessica Walter’s maid from Arrested Development, and was able to like talk about all of these like wonderful scenes and confirm that she was a wonderful person to work with, which like you love hearing when you’re like this.
David:
You want to hear that.
SPEAKER_03:
Yes, you absolutely want to be a comedy, like just incredible person. Like, oh, she was also a lovely person.
David:
You’re like, oh, so if you haven’t seen Drop Dead Gorgeous, everyone out there, stop, hit pause on this podcast, go on to whatever the streamer is and watch that movie immediately. It is fucking brilliant. But anyway, tell us who are you? What what is your deal? How did you become a dad?
SPEAKER_03:
I don’t become a dad. Okay, so um oh, I didn’t even know where to start with that. So I I met my husband in England, and I was there because I’m half Maltese. So I grew up in Malta when I was young, and then I decided to go back and like it was like kind of like half Maltese, half Sharpe.
David:
What’s the other half? Is it yeah? Okay. I bet you never get that joke, do you?
SPEAKER_03:
Actually, not.
Gavin:
Oh, thanks, Gabin. You’re welcome. Your lowbrow joke that I skipped over because I thought surely he doesn’t want to be called a Maltese. Yeah. No, no.
SPEAKER_03:
That’s pretty much all the people know about it. They really do almost only know the dog. Instagram has helped people now kind of know. What should we all know about Malta, actually? I will tell you, Malta is one of the most accepting places that you can go as an LGBT plus person. I’m sorry, I’m so lazy, I don’t name all the letters as a therapist. Too many. There’s too many. It’s so accepting. It’s a very Catholic island, and I think people think that it’s going to be very different. And really, they have such I mean, really progressive trans rights, some of the most in Europe. It’s really safe, it’s really accepting, and they have a great pride every year. It’s actually wonderful. And it’s beautiful.
Gavin:
Is that because culture is that because culturally or societally they just happen to be more open or just good leadership? Or the people are like, whatever, let’s make this our brand.
SPEAKER_03:
Honestly, I feel like people in Malta just want to be liked. I feel like they’ve been like conquered by so many different people and they just want to like have wanted to fit in with every culture that’s taken them over. That I think they’ve got to be.
Gavin:
Yeah, they’ve been they’ve been marginalized since the Bronze Age.
SPEAKER_03:
So Yeah. So they’re like, let’s just accept everybody.
Gavin:
So So back to so back to you then.
SPEAKER_03:
Okay. So I went there for like an extended, like eat pray love kind of thing, where I was like, I’m gonna go back as an adult and live with my family and their village. And I did that. And then I moved with my ex at the time to England, broke up with him, and then met my husband. And then like six months into dating, like an absolute psycho, I was like, I have to move back to America. Are you gonna come with me? And he’s like, We’ve been dating for like five minutes. And I was like, that wasn’t the question, yes or no.
David:
Yeah, yeah. He was like, sure.
SPEAKER_03:
I mean, later.
David:
Let’s go. Let’s make it.
SPEAKER_03:
That’s literally what everyone refers to our relationship as. Um but you know, on our five-year wedding anniversary, it was like, you know, I could have just gotten divorced. That was the thought process. Like, have an adventure. You can always, you know, is get divorced. It’s like that’s romantic. We’ll share that one with the kids.
David:
And so you dragged him to the United States. Had had he been here before?
SPEAKER_03:
No.
David:
Wow.
SPEAKER_03:
No, he had never been here, and we moved we moved to Florida, and then like four months later, Trump got elected.
Gavin:
Oh my god. Wow, that was a wild ride. That is jumping straight into a fire, that’s for sure. But then were were kids always on the uh agenda?
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah, they were. I always knew that I wanted kids, and then Tom’s the eldest of six, which is wild. Um, also because his mom took like a huge break, got everyone out of the door, and then had three more.
Gavin:
So he’s like, I’ve already been a dad, I don’t need to do this, or yes, I’ve already been a dad, I can do this.
SPEAKER_03:
We transition quickly from the former to the because at first it was like, do I want to do this? And I was like, I don’t know, I hope so. Because I’ve already forced you to move to America, and it’s like it’s another thing that I really want to do. So he’s really good like that. He kind of just goes along with my zany plans, but he’s really leaned into being a dad. He’s like a hardcore dad, he’s into it, right? Like I thought I would be, but I’m the one that’s like, I need to go to work, where he works, but I think he could very easily like be a stay-at-home dad and just like love it. And it’s crazy who like who steps up as like the disciplinarian and who’s like, I always thought I’d like because I’m the extrovert, like I’d be the fun one. But he’s like the calm British dad. He’s like super nanny, like a TV character. Like, I fight with my kids, and I’m like Heather Lockleader from like Melrose Place. Like, I’m like, I’m like sassing them back, and I’m like, what are you doing? She is like four and a half. What are you doing? Are you gonna slap her? I was like, I don’t know, I’m getting close. But you should step in.
Gavin:
Well, that seems like really good um conflict mitigation for your career, right? Which is being a therapist.
SPEAKER_03:
So I definitely use all my skills at home.
David:
Those who can’t teach, right?
Gavin:
So tell us about your um your therapy practice.
SPEAKER_03:
So I got into therapy because unsurprisingly, when I did an English degree, there were no jobs as an English teacher. Um, so when I changed careers, I was like, I’ve got to do something where I can make money. And as I was studying, I just kept hearing people like, I don’t want to work with couples, I don’t want to work with sex. That’s uncomfortable. And I was like, well, that’s what I’m gonna do.
SPEAKER_01:
Wow.
SPEAKER_03:
That’s literally what got me into. I love it now, and it is very rewarding. But at first, it was like, I need to make money and I need I’m gonna do whatever anyone else doesn’t want to do.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:
And then, you know, working with couples and then sex, and then having my own children, I realized you really do need to understand the fertility process for a lot of people. Because having a baby, if you’re a even you’re a cis couple, gay couple, a trans couple, like it’s not easy. No one tells you that it’s not easy to have a kid. Like, you know, you grow up Catholic, especially, and they’re like, you’re gonna meet somebody, you’re gonna breathe on them, and you’re gonna get pregnant.
David:
Yeah, you’re gonna drink from the same water fountain, and boom, you’re pregnant.
SPEAKER_03:
That’s it. And it’s like that’s not the case. So now my infidelity was not my my first choice. That just that just kind of felt like fell in my lap, and it’s something I tend I tended to be good at, and I don’t have a lot of judgment for people. So that just sky and a lot of people cheat on their partners. So that just became kind of my lifeblood for my practice, which sounds awful. Like, your misery is my game. You know, it’s like that’s okay.
David:
A couple episodes ago, Gavin was talking about how 9-11 was really good for his tips that day. So listen, you’re in a safe place. Okay.
Gavin:
I was wondering the level of dark we could get and planning. Much, much darker. Much darker. I love that you did say uh you have a low level of judgment, but I would imagine that you also have a are a good judge of character. I mean, how often do scenarios shock you? Or by now have you heard it all and you know exactly who the second they walk in the door, you judge that character and you know who they are.
SPEAKER_03:
I think I’d say I get shocked less. I will say a time that shocked me, and I continue to be shocked thinking back on it. I worked with a woman and it took me like three months to realize I was counseling her and her affair partner, not her and her husband.
David:
Like you had always assumed it was her husband the whole time, and then you were like, wait a minute. Is the call coming from inside the house? Because they’re here. Okay. Oh my god. All right.
SPEAKER_03:
And I felt terrible. I was like, oh my god, I’m so sorry. I bought your name. This whole time I’ve been calling this, you’re like, I’m not her husband.
David:
It’s like I wish I had a camera like really close on your face to see it start to crack and your eyes start to glitch a little bit to be like, how do I keep it together as the therapist and not just gay gasp like David did?
SPEAKER_03:
But one I really didn’t, it was a really hard case because I didn’t care for the person I was working with, but it was so it’s kind of like that like Viola Davis meme where I just wanted to like pick up my purse and walk out the door. I was like, I can’t. Like this is what we’re doing now.
David:
Or the Wendy Williams one where she’s lowering the window. Yes. Have you seen that one where it throws her hair back? Um that that’s that you bring up an interesting point. Like, I’ve always thought I would be a great therapist, but when you when you just said, like, oh, I didn’t really care for that person, I think that would be my problem too, is if somebody came in the door with a problem, but I just didn’t like them or they were the villain in my head, I would struggle not to just give them a B story. I mean, like a like a B level performance, you know? Is that a problem?
SPEAKER_03:
You know, I there’s a very just there’s there’s a theme. I think everyone gets triggered by different things as a therapist. Mine is abuse of power. So I the people that I’ve had a hard time working with, I can almost always boil it down to these are people who are abusing their power over other people.
Gavin:
Um interesting.
SPEAKER_03:
Crazy enough, this client, I can’t get too specific, but like crazy enough, this client held a position of power and was strong arming her like male coworker into sleeping with her. And this was like during Me Too. Wow. And she’s like wildly intelligent. I was like, what is going on here? And that that makes it I can do a lot with people. I can I did like sex offender work when I started out. I really, my judgment, I can I can hold myself in a place of unconditional positive regard unless you’re abusing your power over other people. Because that’s yeah, that just feels so icky.
David:
Yeah, and also thoughtfully doing it, right? Like doing it on purpose, not like not like an accidental thing and you and you bring light to it and they go, Oh shit, I had no idea what I was doing. Like, no, you’re doing that on purpose. Yeah. No.
Gavin:
So I mean, not that you can say the top three or five things that I would love everybody to know about the lessons you’re teaching, but that’s what I want to ask is what are the top three to five things? If you could just make the world a better place, these are the three things or five things. Or seven or eight or eleven. I would make everybody do. Pick any integer above zero. But definitely odd numbers, definitely odd numbers. They just feel more balanced anyway.
SPEAKER_03:
So, I mean, you mentioned in the beginning I do a lot with ethical non-monogamy. One thing I would share with people is it’s not a band-aid. That’s a big one. I wish I could share that with all the people that come in. If you’re coming in to tell me what you’re missing in your marriage and you’re gonna fix it by adding someone else, that’s not gonna work out.
Gavin:
Interesting. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:
If you come in and you want to work on your marriage, or your marriage is solid, or your relationship is solid, and you want to add people, you want to experiment with other couples, you want to kind of add some flavor text to it, great. That could be really incredible. But the people that are like, my husband and I don’t have sex and we don’t want to talk about it, so we’re just gonna add someone else, that’s not gonna work well for you. It never really has. You know, and I think my second hill I die on with almost everybody is conflict avoidance. I think people are so incredibly conflict avoidant that they end up creating just such bigger problems for themselves down the road. It always comes to light. Conflicts always worm their way out.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:
And I just wish people would teach their children, especially like have have heavily conflict. Talk to people, tell them what’s going on.
David:
I mean, that’s a common thing I feel like I see a lot on like parenting TikToks, where they’re like, make sure that your kids see you in conflict with your partner or with a kid, but then it’s always it’s the resolve afterwards. It’s like we argued over who’s supposed to carry the groceries in, and then I apologized, or then I said, Well, then how about we meet in the middle? Them seeing that is more important than you hiding the conflict. And I think I I imagine that’s that’s true for adult couples too.
SPEAKER_03:
It absolutely is, and I think I I can’t speak for all of us, but uh like the generation I grew up in, people excused themselves when the fight got bad. Like when they said, okay, we’re gonna take this like back, we’re gonna go back to the bedroom, or let’s still knew it was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you never know how to resolve it. So people know get really good at how do I get into fights, how do I get triggered, all of that. But we have no idea how to exit our our pattern, our kind of like fight cycle.
Gavin:
Something this also makes me think about too is my as my daughter is a 13-year-old and she’s just living a complete Snapchat texting life an awful lot of the time, all of the conflict can often escalate very quickly or just start via text. But and it and it obviously it quickly escalates there. And I always want to say, listen, just pick up the phone and call this person. If you, if you if you feel betrayed by your best friend and you say, I don’t understand why she’s acting this way, I’m like, trust me, you have I know it’s so scary. It is so scary to reach out and call somebody, but it’s gonna be a hundred times faster and you’ll resolve it faster. But this gen this generation, you know, they’re they they talk about conflict avoidance, whether or not they realize it, you know, because it’s so much easier to call names, obviously, um, via text than than face-to-face. And um, that scares me. Like, you know, you don’t have to reach out to strangers anymore, and you don’t call your friends and have to talk to your parents, their parents, which is a form of conflict, basically saying, hi, it’s Jimmy, can can Sally play or whatever.
David:
I know this is an audio platform, but I wish you guys could have just seen Gavin using the Finker phone, right? I I’m I’m honestly proud that he didn’t use like the tin can phone because that’s the generation he grew up in. But he but you’re but you’re right. Like, I I think I I fall into that trap a lot, the conflict avoidance of like, fine, you’re gonna be shady, I’m gonna be cold back to you. And then it all disappears. But the times I have overridden that and been like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t talk to me that way. It’s always been better. But it’s so hard to like make put that future part of you in your current part and be like, nope, don’t let that text go by. Pick up the phone and call them or or ask the hard question out loud. I don’t know if it’s ever been worse than me just like being cold, but it is such a natural reaction for me. And I don’t know if that’s because of technology or because I’m just a fucking coward.
Gavin:
I don’t know. This is a therapy session, Jamie. Will you tell David what you think? Do not invoice me. Don’t invoice me.
SPEAKER_03:
Well, I think the the misconception too that it’s conflict is hard often with strangers, and that the people you’re closer to, you know, oh we’re we’re we’re we’re close, we’re connected, we can talk. The reality is I see much more conflict avoidance exactly. So much more conflict with with strangers and so much less with I was just in California this weekend with my sister, and I went to like three of her shows, and like, you know, a theater company that she’s been a part of for 20 years, they’re like family, like an incestuous family. They’re awesome, I love them, but like you watch them, and there is a conflict avoidance pattern there because they are like family members, and they spend more time with each other hands down than anyone else in their entire lives, you know, and it why that isn’t fresh in my mind is they had a conflict about something about a play, staging, or something, but it definitely felt way bigger than like the comments on like the the costuming or whatever. I was like, oh, this is like these are years of not being able to address it. And so a lot of times with couples in session, they come with a very specific issue. This is happening. Okay. But then you realize this when you tug on it, the threads go back. And these are things that they’ve never been able to talk about. And so then, you know, everyone wants to just fix the thing, not realizing it’s holistic.
David:
I think it’s because there’s as far as like the stranger, like I find the same way when I direct a show or something and I’m I’m kind of overseeing a hundred people doing one thing. I feel 100% confident with any sort of conflict right in their face, immediately say it how it is. Like, I feel like I’m in the uh power. But if it was like a family member but Facebook profile, I just find and I wonder if it’s because there’s just More on the line versus like you’re a stranger, you’re a person at my work. I uh yeah, I but I I absolutely feel the exactly what you’re saying, which is where it’s actually the opposite, where the family people are the people you find that you kind of hide from the most, and the strangers, you can be like, hey, why’d you park in my spot, asshole?
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah. I think it’s because they have access to a lot a lot more of us. You know, we feel more vulnerable, we care more about the attachment.
Gavin:
So, Jamie, with all of your insight into human psychology and your understanding of behavioral patterns and everything, are you a better father than we are?
SPEAKER_01:
Careful.
SPEAKER_03:
Well, considering I just said that I model myself on Heather Lapier’s character in Melrose Place, probably not. Yes, learning now.
Gavin:
How much do you already drive your daughter and your husband crazy with your say, uh therapy speak or psychobabble or all of the above?
SPEAKER_03:
So Tom’s thing is, you know, I say things are powerful. That’s a very therapy thing. Like, that’s so powerful. So now he just like preempts it if something happens. Is that powerful? I’m like, okay, you are not getting late tonight. Tell me how powerful that is. Um my kids are still still a little too small. I think like being like four and a half and three, they don’t they don’t quite get. I try to do therapy with them and they’re just like, oh, like a bird. You know what I mean? Like they don’t even like listen past like three words. They’re like, huh, who cares?
David:
But no, nobody nobody likes what their parents do, right? The shoemakers’ children go barefoot. Like it’s like they’re like, oh god, just like just don’t do that to me, you know. But I’m curious about you being a gay dad as a therapist. Do you find, do you have any gay dad clients? And is there anything interesting about kind of like a gay dad’s needs that would be different as far as therapy is concerned?
SPEAKER_03:
Well, I think that’s something that’s interesting about the gay dads that I work with is and I guess this is children, because some people work with me for years on and off. When they have children, it’s it’s like there’s this whole set of expectations that suddenly appear and they’re not the same person or they feel they’re they don’t have the same needs they had before. That’s very true sexually. Like what they’ll allow themselves to do, what they’ll allow themselves to experiment with. I try to help them open up their idea of what’s acceptable for because a lot of times what they’re talking about is like, oh, I can’t do that now that because I have kids. I am assuming they’re talking about either the judgment of others or safety. And the judgment of others, I feel like we should never be held to that kind of standard when we’re making decisions about our own happiness. And safety, like even if you were single in dating, which gay men are okay with that. They’re okay with being single and dating with kids, not okay being partnered and experimenting with, say, other people or other kinks or stuff like that. I why I say that is if you’re single and dating, there’s still a safety issue. You’re not gonna bring someone like you don’t know inside your home, you know. For the most part, people say they don’t. So I guess I try to help people understand like what where did you come by this? You know, many people came by it very honestly, as my dad says, like they learned this from somebody, whether it’s Catholicism or family of origin or a culture. What’s going on? Why are you suddenly you have a child and now of a sudden you can have no needs of your own? And that’s a big one. And it’s very pronounced with gay men.
David:
I think it’s because there’s a there’s a weird set. I this is literally why we we started the podcast. It’s because I feel like I felt the sanitization that was expected of me the day I became a dad. That sex and my career and my life and my hopes and my dreams and all the other things that don’t involve me taking care of this child were to go away, or that was substandard, that was not the gold standard. But I think it’s all the thing underneath is that like ew gay sex. I think that’s all it’s like if you’re gonna be part of our club, the straight, the like the straight seg the parent club, then keep the sex away because that’s the grossest part, right? And I think that is maybe part of what it is is that like we feel that pressure. I’ve certainly thought that pressure, that like, oh, like you as a couple or you you have a husband or or ENM or whatever has to go away because your kids are everything. And we all know those parents who their kids are their lives and they did drop everything else, and they’re shells of human people. They’re not even, they’re just they’re just you know, there’s staff at that point.
SPEAKER_03:
I mean I meet them when their kids are 18 and they have zero idea who they are. That’s like that’s like those are really hard sessions. I mean, you you have people that are like waking up from this 18-year fever dream. Like, who the fuck am I? I’m like, I have no idea because you’re still only talking about your child going to college. This is the this is a who am I session, and we’ve only talked about this kid, you know, going going down to Berkeley and what that weekend was like for them. We still haven’t been able to talk about you at all.
David:
I I remember as a as a kid that the times I enjoyed my parents the most, and I was a per I was a perfect child, you can ask my mom, she’s our listener. Um, but the times I enjoyed was when they did something that didn’t involve me at all, and I got to learn a little bit about them. Like my dad was really into baseball. He’d go to these like baseball camps and everything. And I just thought it was like, oh that, and I would get to go visit him at his baseball thing. And I thought that was really cool. But then, you know, I I know we all know parents who are just like, I don’t have any hobbies anymore. My hobby and my life is my child. And when I hear that, I go, oh good. Look at this head case.
SPEAKER_03:
But and it’s also it’s so hard because like no one at daycare really wants to hang out with them. You know, it’s not like they are not, they’re the ones where you’re like walking out there and you’re like, do not go over to her. It’s like we don’t want to talk about our we don’t want to go out to dinner with you and then talk about our kids for three hours.
Gavin:
It is so hard not to talk about your kids, though. It really, really is.
David:
Uh you have, but you have to put it in front of mine. I know it is, but like you have to, it’s the same as it’s the default. Yeah, it’s also when somebody’s telling them, telling you a story about their kid, you have to fight the urge to be like, and then my kid. Like, nope, just hear their story. But it you’re right, it’s a default setting.
Gavin:
Yeah. So, Jamie, how do we avoid just becoming shells of ourselves and and losing all sense of uh personality over the next 18 years?
SPEAKER_03:
Well, I went with I went with a friend of mine to uh this chapel roan concert a while ago, a mom from the daycare, and her secret is we just took a ton of mushrooms. And mom because we didn’t talk about our kids the whole night. Drugs traversing like a sea of angry, kind of angry lesbians who were kept telling her husband, this music doesn’t belong to you.
Gavin:
And he’s like, nobody nobody yelled at you, or they could just see the the queer rainbow all over your head.
SPEAKER_03:
Oh yeah, I was just like living my my best life, you know, just like hard-shaped glasses hanging on my husband. My husband’s like, good God, 10 years later, and I’m still being like dragged around by this psycho. Yeah.
David:
I mean, I blame him. He showed you showed him who you were right away. You said, move to America, bitch. And he said yes, so it’s on him.
Gavin:
Even though this is an audio uh medium, I have been staring over your shoulder for a while, thinking, what is that Christmas tree? Wait, what on earth is over his right shoulder? And then I look carefully and I think that’s a toy collection. That is definitely a toy collection. Can you take us through it a little bit? Is this how you have are maintaining your own sense of self for the next few years? Is toys.
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah, I mean, these are all toys from my childhood. So all of them are like 80s and early 90s toys. And I don’t keep them at home because then my kids will want to play with them, and I don’t know how to explain to them like you can’t touch those. They’re like daddy’s toys. Like, I don’t know.
David:
Gavin Gavin has his collection, but it’s just a stick and a wheel. Yeah. So good. That was good.
SPEAKER_01:
That was that was good.
SPEAKER_03:
I I will say clients love it though. That’s something that’s been helpful. I started bringing more and more in because clients, when they get nervous, they’ll talk about it. I’m like, okay. And then I just find like I try to find weirder and weirder ones. You can’t see it from that far away, but there’s someone made something called larvae, and it’s like a little Barbie that’s a larva.
David:
It’s like that’s a conversation starter.
SPEAKER_03:
I mean, people love love larvae. They just love it. So like I keep her front and center, and you know, you can’t.
David:
That’ll be the sequel to the Barbie movie. We’ll see how Marco Robbie does with that.
SPEAKER_03:
It’s a little little maggot who can do everything.
David:
Maggot. I was called that once in middle school, but I think it was it was pronounced differently. Um, so tell us tell us some uh some funny stories about uh being a gay dad or being a dad in general.
SPEAKER_03:
I I think to stay on the topic of sex, I think what’s hard with children is that children are noisy every moment of the day, except for when you want to have sex. Then they’re like they’re like a ninja, they’re like Jennifer Garner from Electra. They just like appear next to you like a like a you know what I mean, like a little breeze, and there she is. Like, hello. You’re like, oh Jesus Christ. How did you?
Gavin:
I’ve been ignoring you for the last two hours, haven’t heard a single word you’ve said, and now I can hear pin drop, of course.
SPEAKER_03:
Exactly. You’re like, oh, there you are. And that that’s been wild for me, having to like just realize that we have to squeeze our lives around every whim for like these little like terrors that are like three and four. Um, also, something that I found really shocking, I’ve never experienced a terrible two. Three was a fucking nightmare. And is I have one that’s three now. It’s two is so cute. Like there was like little things, but three is like I’m as maybe it’s good. What’s 13 is gonna be like.
Gavin:
I mean, I remember three being really, really tough too. So I don’t know. It all just you wait. I was just gonna say there’s a just you wait coming for you, Jamie. It’s all just different and all terrible, and what and wonderful. It’s all different.
David:
And every kid, I think, is also different because my my son was the same way. He when he went through two and three, he was like sometimes shitty, but like in general, like not really a big deal. And I was like, Oh, I got this parenting thing down. My daughter was like, Hold my beer. I’m gonna double up to because she is two and a half now, she’ll be three in January. And I was telling my husband this morning, I was like, she’s she’s the she’s the hardest kid in the world. Like, I I don’t I don’t I don’t even know to she cries all the time, every day about everything. She doesn’t listen to anything I say, she’ll just say, No, I’m not leaving, I’m getting in the car, and she’ll stare me down, and I’ll like get a little nervous about it. So, like, I I I think I’m paying for the easy one.
SPEAKER_03:
I feel like they always give you the hard one second. Because if not, you wouldn’t have had another one, right? They have to like first give you the easy one. So, one of the this is a story that I that I love and I tell it frequently. Um, and and this kind of ties into what we talked about the ickiness of of sometimes like I think straight people having to like confront our actual gayness and having men around children. Um, so we had put off taking showers with our kids. I don’t know why, like I’m but I finally did with our my daughter, and I took a shower with her, we got dressed, it was fine. She was like, that was so fun. I was like, it sure was. We drove to our friend’s house, little boy her age at the time she was three. We walk in. This is the first that time has been the first time she’d ever seen me naked. And she walks into this house and she walks up to her little friend who’s getting changed, this three-year-old boy, and she looks over and she looks at me and she goes, Oh my god, daddy, that penis is so big.
David:
There’s a lot to unpack here, Jamie. A lot to unpack.
SPEAKER_03:
Yeah. I was the the cutting, like when my husband looked at me, I could tell he was like just wanted to die laughing. And I was like, okay. Considering I think I might be your only point of reference, but like this is really hard to wrap my mind around.
David:
Yeah. Yeah. She came for you and she she won. Like she got you. She eviscerated me. Yeah. She came for the king, and then it, yeah, she’s yeah. Oh my god. That is and then you just, like you said, you just want to die. You said, can I just disappear and just I’ll come back in a couple weeks when this is all calmed down and I could just handle this. Yeah, just leave. So you practice in Washington and California. How can people find you? Or do you want people not to find you?
SPEAKER_03:
We’re we’re we’re going with the either way. Um, so I’m on our website, Sadler BridgesWellnessgroup.com. We have a lot of awesome therapists. I’m on there. Um you can you can always find me on Instagram. What’s interesting on Instagram, I used to keep it public because I used to have a lot of younger gay men reach out to me from different places in the world that would be it was really nice. They were very hopeful seeing families like ours. Then I had to weigh up what’s my social responsibility, and then keeping my kids private. And in the end, I ended up making my profile private just because I didn’t want people to have such easy access to my children. Sure.
Gavin:
Um that was the responsible.
SPEAKER_03:
Um I’m I’m an open book. I just keep it private now because there are concerns we had, and I had kind of had to weigh those up.
David:
Absolutely. No, I meant professionally. Okay, if you’re feeling crazy, give Jamie a call and pay him lots and lots of money.
Gavin:
Well, thank you so much for demeaning yourself and coming on our stupid little podcast here. Um, you this we’ve been laughing a lot. It’s been great. Thank you for um uh diving into our heads a little bit and making us giggle. Thank you guys so much.
SPEAKER_03:
This was so fun.
Gavin:
I recently hosted a sleepover for a bunch of 13-year-olds, and they readily gave me their cell phones so that I would they would be have a cell phone free night. They were up until 5 20 in the morning when I finally said, Okay, you kiddos, go to the cell. Go the fuck to sleep. Stop telling each other to shut up because you actually did like that. Was the thing stop telling each other to shut up and just shut up? But I was delighted that they stayed up all night without phones. And they just were talking and laughing and they trashed the kitchen, which is fine, but they did it without phones, and that was something great. That that was I that justified my incredible fatigue the next day in the bags that are still under my eyes because of it.
David:
Anyway, what about you? Uh, my something great this week, surprise, surprise, is from TikTok. Um, I have noticed, and uh maybe it’s my FYP, maybe it’s all FYPs, but there is this huge influx of like grandmas who cook. And so they start a in uh uh TikTok account of like, hey, here’s Mima’s, you know, butter bean recipe or whatever. And they’re all over my FYP, and I have followed so many of them because TikTok has given us this access to these like rural, like they live in a one-room shack grandmas who cook the best, best stuff. And so I followed so many of these women. And I have this morning I made a biscuit recipe I learned from this woman on TikTok, and it’s fucking delicious. So thanks again, TikTok. Thanks for ruining my life, but also making it much, much better.
Gavin:
And that’s our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.
David:
Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond everywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge on Friendstone. Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, and we’ll butter your biscuits next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.