Full Transcript
Please leave us a glowing five-star review review. Please leave us a glowing five-star review. Why is it hard to say five-star review suddenly?
David:
Because it’s 11:33 a.m. and you’ve probably been drinking. And this is day jury.
Gavin:
So, David, my back hurts. My back hurts. My muscles hurt. My shoulders hurt. My arms hurt. Everything hurts.
SPEAKER_02:
Your back was mouth crack.
Gavin:
Everything hurts. Everything hurts. It cracks. But and by crack, I mean everything feels like it’s cracking. Because we’ve had some fun weather here recently, haven’t we? Yeah, a lot of snow. I mean, if it’s going to be cold, please give me snow. And also that it’s a sort of sort of. Good snow, too.
David:
Like if you’ve never lived in snow listener, I will tell you that like there’s good snow and there’s bad snow. And then there’s like middle of the road snow. But like good snow is like fluffy and powdery, and you get to play and do something. The worst snow is the kind that melts a little bit and then immediately freezes. Yeah.
Gavin:
Which is usually what I find to be New York, New Jersey snow. Everything, everything about it sucks. So we’ve had really good snow of late. And the other day, my kids um went sledding and they had a just a gay old time, right? And um, and I, of course, was like, well, I’m not gonna just stand around and watch it the entire time. But I’m like, I probably have two runs in me. So in our town, the country club, to my utter shock, allows kids, it’s the best sledding in town. And I cannot believe they have not shut it down because there are some trees that inevitably somebody hits. And then, of course, just like, you know, in general, kids are hitting each other. And wait, is this a country club?
David:
You’re a member of no, no, that’s the thing.
Gavin:
It’s okay. The town just shows up and we all go to the country club. I’m not a member, uh, not at all. Although I do think that the country club should get some of its bougie members to sell$5 hot chocolate with a$3 shot, and I would pay it right there. I I absolutely would. Just skip the hot chocolate, by the way. But anyway, so I’m standing there, and my 11-year-old son now can’t just sled. He has to build a jump, right? Yeah, of course. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And I’m like, you know, when your kid is not an Einstein, when they have they have no ability to step back and think, plan out what kind of jump are we building, right? Instead, their idea is they have to have the swoopiest of swoops to go straight up into the air, not out and catch air. We’re on a hill, after all. You know, you’re gonna catch air. No, they have to swoop up and then they inevitably do a face plant, their backs crack.
David:
They want to break the most amount of bones. The most amount of bones.
Gavin:
So so I want you to spoiler, I did not go off the jump. I absolutely refuse to really hoping. No, no, no. I know I know my limits. And just the two runs that I did not on jumps made everything hurt. But also, I would stand there and my back would hurt watching them do it because I just thought, oh God, there goes a soccer career. And me standing there for two hours just shooting the shit with people. Now, admittedly, I love to shoot the shit with people. I love soccer sidelines, I love sledding, but you stand there in the cold shivering, and your whole body hurts after a while. And so I’m so old that I’m just everything hurts from shivering. But it was fun to watch my um son actually kind of like playing with the girls too, because they got into a um a snowball fight with boys versus girls, which I mean he’s getting to that age now where 100%. 100% and they were having such a good time.
David:
Have you told him you’re disappointed in him for not being gay? He already knows.
Gavin:
The way you groomed him. He already sees the disappointment in my face every single day.
David:
Oh man, I there’s something there there is if if you’ve watched the um the little b-roll 30-second trailer we’ve made for Gay Triox, which I’m sure all of you have, it’s pinned at the top of our Instagram profile. One of the videos is Gavin jumping on a trampoline and then hurting his back. Yeah. Yeah. Now we we admittedly we staged, but from real experience.
Gavin:
But from real experience, absolutely. I yeah, so yeah. So I went down the hill a couple of times uh in front of all of those adults. That’s the other thing, too, is you know, if you go down, they’re all watching to be like, who is that old man? And how long is it gonna take him to stand up? Because it is so hard to stand up from a sled, and basically you just roll over, like and you’re trying to impress the parents too.
David:
You’re like, no, I’m really young and beautiful and urile, and yeah, I’m ready to go. You’re not gonna let them see how bad how badly I hurt.
Gavin:
Yeah, you try to jump up as fast as possible because there’s really no way of doing it without being Humpty Dumpty rolling out of the sled. And then having like you can’t just put what you can’t stand up quickly.
David:
It’s so it’s like getting out of a hammock. There’s no sexy way out of it. There’s no sexy way to get out of a hammock.
Gavin:
I think sleds and hammocks. I think you’re exactly right about that.
David:
Honestly, the fact that you didn’t end up in the hospital is a plus and minor.
Gavin:
Tell me about it. Yeah, tell me about the only the only casualty was that my hat flew off a few times because I was wearing a baseball hat, uh, which is uh brings up a whole host of other things. Why were you just wearing a baseball hat? Anyway, anyway, it was I live for sledding days. It is very fun. But boy, I’m old.
David:
It is really fun. Um, speaking of hospitals and breaking your bones, I have an apology to our listener. Last episode, when I was talking about my butt stuff, my colonoscopy and my endoscopy, I realized I said, yeah, once you’re 45, you have to have them every year. That is a lie. A lie.
Gavin:
That is not misinformation.
David:
Once every 10 years, I think I was just excited about getting strangers in my butt once a year. And so I said once every I know everyone is coming, our listener is coming to us for their medical advice, but it is not once every year. It is once every year.
Gavin:
We are, after all, thank you for re-establishing our integrity as America’s finest news source. And we cop to it when we’ve made a mistake. But also, can you be blamed for wanting, you know, some stranger butt stuff once a year?
David:
I mean, if that’s yeah, you can’t. I mean, if you’re into like medical play, this is the place to go. Um, I did have to pay the bill came due today, and it was so obscene how much it cost me. Wow. Anyway, I’m not even gonna say the number because it hurts me.
Gavin:
Right. Weird that Gatriarchs doesn’t um offer health insurance, huh?
David:
Does it offer? Can you imagine if we offered health insurance? Um someday, baby, someday. Someday. I uh one thing I wanted to bring up, but this is just like one of those like thought experiment-y like gay dads versus straight dads thing. Okay. Have you noticed in your it uh school life or even just like regular life with your kids that you are the only parent who comes with both parents to things? Like, for example, when we go to walk my son to the bus in the morning, it’s three blocks away from our house. It’s always me and my husband, and we always bring our daughter with us, and we all go as a family, we drop him off, we all go back. Um, same thing when we go pick him up from school, we me and my husband go together. We are a hundred percent of the time the only two-parent family picking people up. Now, I it’s mostly the moms, but is is that a number one, is that crazy? B, is that something you do or notice?
Gavin:
One, yes, you are crazy. I believe, yeah. I I think this is you being oh, yeah. It’s so cute. Our kitty goes to school. This is clearly a case of my child is in kindergarten, just you wait, eventually you won’t give a shit anymore, and you’ll be like, I ain’t nobody got time for this.
David:
But there’s other kindergartners there. Yes.
Gavin:
You’re the only one who does this. You are number two is you’re the only one who does this. Uh my partner and I, we team, we tag team the first day of school and the last day of school just for nostalgia’s sake. And in between, it is absolutely a situation of not it. Oh wow. Not it.
David:
But but even this is this happens at daycare too. When I drop my daughter off at daycare, 100% of the parents, it’s one parent walking everyone in.
Gavin:
Yes. That is logical.
David:
So I’m the problem. Yes. That’s me. You are crazy. You’re the I thought this was like a straight gate thing. You’re saying it’s a David versus the world thing.
Gavin:
It it is absolutely you are at the center of it all. And I appreciate that you’re not like shaming the rest of us who have better things to do with our time than you and your husband, because you two are giving way too much time to drop off and pick up. But it’s yes, it’s adorable. I agree with you. And I think you’re you’re creating memories and fostering a wonderful child in that process who will not grow up to be an axe murderer.
David:
I will say on the days that like I’m too busy to like if like my husband just gets the kids by himself. It’s lovely. It’s real nice to just be at home and then children arrive. Oh man, yeah, it’s really nice.
Gavin:
You have seven minutes of silence to yourself?
David:
Yeah.
Gavin:
Yeah. I can’t believe that this is a scenario. Yeah, I can’t believe this is a scenario that you have brought up that is a surprise.
David:
That’s a shock to me. Well, I think there’s something going on in the air because I’ve also noticed my TikTok algorithm changing. And now I’m getting all of these fucking videos of these parents doing this thing where they go, someday it’s like a woman and she’s like in the front seat of her car, and she’s like, oh man, I’m so annoyed by my kids being so loud on the backseat. And then like the woman turns and it cuts to the backseat and it’s empty. It’s like, and someday you’ll wish they were still back. You know, it’s one of those fucking things. But my whole feed has become this like, just you wait, you’re gonna miss these days, you’re gonna miss it when it’s gone. So much just you waiting. And listener, if you’ve ever listened to the show before, which you hopefully haven’t, you know, I this is one of my the biggest things stuck in my craw, is this like, oh, you you better enjoy it while you’re there. And the total fucking disconnect older older parents have with this. They think, oh, you’re just not enjoying these lovely extra cuddles at night or the extra time they want water. It’s not that, it’s fucking war, and you’re drowning in it, and you’re from 12 years later cherry-picking these beautiful fake memories that don’t exist and be like, oh, I wish you would just sit.
Gavin:
You’re rewriting history. No, I completely agree, and it is a fact. Time speeds up and you miss it and you look back, but you’re only looking, you you don’t you do not recall. It is a human element of survival that you do not recall all of the war times and the the foxholes that you’re in with diapers and complete sleep deprivation. No, nobody wants to go go back to that. That’s why you hope for grandkids and then you have grandkids and you hand them over, I suppose. Oh my god, we’re talking about grandkids.
David:
No, but I mean that I think that’s maybe the secret to unlocking all of this is just get older and have grandkids.
Gavin:
Yes. But the whole like forcing us our nostalgia and feeling bad about it, I’m just not here for that.
David:
It’s like trying to fix the future nostalgia by by by get by enjoying the extra cuddles now. So when you’re older, you won’t miss the extra cuddles. We have already talked about this. You’re going to miss them regardless. Yes, try to be present, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like the only solution here is to bottle it up, and that can’t happen. And so let’s just fucking let it go.
Gavin:
Um and come on to a podcast where we complain about our children and how much we love them.
David:
So there you go. Nonstop. And to uh uh I’d like to add to our podcast a new segment of considerable.
SPEAKER_01:
Oh great.
David:
And in true Gatriarch’s fashion, I’m gonna be a total hypocrite and totally about face with what I was just saying. So now our Gatriarch’s premier segment, a moment of awe. So this was my I’ve flabbergasted it. This is so much hashtag gratitude. So much, okay. But wait, this is my way of cat like isolating these moments of like gratitude and like softness, I feel, because I’m supposed to be the hard ass asshole who talks dick jokes all the time. Right. But I I need to like let some of the niceness out every once in a while. So I’m gonna force it into this little category called a moment of awe. Uh-huh. And that way we can just kind of get it out there and it won’t feel as uh disgusting and stickly soft. Okay. So something I’ve noticed, and you will, I’m sure, uh, agree with this, is that when you know, we hug our kids a lot. I pick up my kids, they hug me, I grab them, you know, kicking and screaming from the toys or us, but like you hold your kids a lot from when they’re babies and you know, as long as you can hold them. And what I’m noticing a lot now, I mean, you notice it as it happens, but really a lot with my five-year-old, is how their bodies, as they get bigger, I can’t hold them the same way. I have to, my arms have to go in different places and my arms get tired at different places.
Gavin:
You’re already calculating how soon can you put them down because you don’t have the strength anymore?
David:
Because you’re 48 pounds, bro. Like, I can’t carry you 10 bucks. But also, like how, like, you know, when you get want to get them really close in the in the nook of your neck, but like you can’t really because they’re too big now, and they’re weird, fucking lumpy shoulder blades are in the it was just one of these moments I was like, oh my god, like this is they’re getting bigger, which is so fucking stupid to say. I know, but it is the physically holding them and hugging them is changing, and that is really fucking weird and sweet and all the things.
Gavin:
I appreciate that you say you are noticing it as you go along because it’s this is so one of those cases of suddenly you turn around and you think, when was the last time I actually held my child? When was the last time I picked them up? Because there does come a time. I don’t know when was the last time I picked up my son. My daughter is in a phase right now, and this could be my moment of awe, where she’s been tackle hugging me lately, which usually it’s followed. That was a natural awe.
David:
That was a natural awe. Wait, can I guess what you’re about to say? It’s usually followed up by a request to go to Starbucks.
Gavin:
Not always, but I do know my reaction, sadly, is what do you want from me? Because you’re hugging me right now. You’re hugging me with your entire body hanging a little bit. It’s the scam, yeah. What is the scam here? But I’ll take it. But I do, but I’m like, uh, it’s hard for me to.
David:
I can’t carry her 10 blocks these days. Heck. But that’s that’s that cliche was it like at some sometime is the last time you ever pick up your kid, kind of a deal. Um, but it is weird, just like where my arms go. Like, I pick up my son now, and he’s such like a I I keep thinking about his shoulder blades. They’re like pointy and awkward. And I’m like, oh no, the boy is just melting away, and I can’t really hold you very well. Yep. And whatever. Anyway, that was my moment of awe.
Gavin:
Um, so in gay news, oh, please be something good, please be something good, please be something good. There’s nothing good. There’s just nothing good. But I’m gonna force a little bit of good news, which is simply that I think it’s kind of cool that I noticed that in DC, where they have what they call world pride, which I’m like, that’s the most American thing I’ve ever heard. Is we’re just gonna go ahead and claim world pride and put it in DC. But Shakira is headlining pride in DC this year. Which I think is like which I think is like, well, thank goodness she’s still uh people are there that there will be a pride, and A-listers are gonna be there. So I feel like that’s something worth celebrating. And and that is your gay news of the day because there ain’t nothing else.
David:
You know what it’s not worth celebrating? What? Our top three list.
Gavin:
Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. All right, so this week is my week, and I want to know what you think are the three hottest cartoon characters. I’m sure that this could go in a hundred different ways. We didn’t set any parameters, we didn’t say include Disney princes or not, or include Disney princesses or not. Because there is no gender specificity here, but yeah, I think we both know who we’re gonna pick. All right, so for me, number three, Robin Hood. The Fox. Oh, yeah, okay, I get that.
David:
The Disney Robin, he’s just got a bit of swagger, but there’s just that weight that says, like, I’d let you blow me. Do you know what I mean?
Gavin:
No, he’s kind of got broad shoulders, teeny waist.
David:
Totally round things and you’ll face you get sprung.
Gavin:
Um that the fox Robin Hood. Yeah, I think he’s number three on my list. Yeah. Number three. Number two, Fred from Scooby-Doo. Oh, okay. Yeah. Are you kidding me? No, I just know he should be unbuttoning that shirt and his jaunty little scarf that definitely says you can blow me whenever you want in the in the time machine. What’s the name of their van?
David:
The um the uh something machine. Something machine. Not the dream machine, the uh God, our listener is screaming it out right now in their 1997 Ford Tempo driving to work. Um what is it?
Gavin:
Anyway, Fred and his jaunty scarf, and you know that like he’s just ripped for days. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then obvious I feel like honorable mention. Um, number one, um, Flynn Ryder from Tangled.
David:
Yes, he was a he was a he was up there for me. He was up there for me. Yeah.
Gavin:
Honorable mention, obviously, he-Man.
David:
Yes, of course. I mean, I feel like that was everyone’s gay. Yes, everyone our age. It’s like the gay, yeah, yeah. Um that was good. You know, interesting. I was going back and forth between humans and and non-humans, and you have, you know, you have Robin Hood in there, but I I didn’t choose, but all of mine are human, I will say. So I’m not totally fucking disgusting, even though I’m very disgusting. All right, for me, number three. This is a little bit niche. Aladdin’s dad, Kasim. Do you remember him? Hold on, I gotta get it. He’s in the movie? He’s in, I think, one of those like weird direct to DVDs. Direct to direct to VHS. Let me see if I’m gonna show you a picture. Oh, he’s got he’s got like some silver size. Yeah, no, he is super, super hot. And you know what we’re gonna do? When this episode is released, let’s try to post on Instagram all of photos of all of our people because I think that would be really fun. We’ll never remember to do it. No, and you’re listening out there going, where is it? We didn’t.
Gavin:
And we’ll and Disney will probably sue us for it, by the way, because of um intellectual property rights, but whatever. Whatever.
David:
Uh, number two. Come at us, Disney. Disney, come at us, come at us, come for the Gatriarchs, please, Disney. Um, number two for me, Casey Jones. Do you remember who Casey Jones is? No.
Gavin:
Wait, is that a oh, you said it was human. I uh is that like a train from 1953?
David:
No, he was the boyfriend of April O’Neill in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He was the one, he was the one that had like the hockey mask on, and he would like fight crime with his hockey stick. Nice. Hold on, I had pictures of all these. I’m gonna show Gabin. Tell me. Oh, he’s got this, like, he’s got this like jock who will call you faggot, but also let you suck his dick. We have a lot of theme I’m noticing for this group. Um, sorry, listener, it’s getting a little R-rated. Um, and number one, it if you know me even a little bit, this is no surprise. The dad from Coco Melon. Yes, I was he is something else. Not only is he sexy, he’s like ginger a little bit. He he does he does scenes at the beach. Like I’m gonna show Gavin a picture of him at the beach. There’s him at the beach, but his hand to like face ratio, his hand is as big as his face. And it’s very sexy. So, number one, the dad from Cocoa Melon.
Gavin:
Nice. Yeah, all right. So, what is uh next week’s top?
David:
Next week, we’re gonna go what are the top three dog breeds? Okay.
Gavin:
So our next guest. Is well a straight dude with a fabulous wife who happens to be an Italian shoe designer fashionista from Italy, which might be the gayest thing about him. He’s also a fantastic dad who frankly knows more than the rest of us about parenting. So he wrote a book about it and will soon be a certified life coach focused on, well, parenting. But for now, he’s just begrudgingly a high-powered New York City attorney. Welcome to the show, our latest honorary Gatriarch, Mark Shu. Welcome, Mark.
SPEAKER_00:
Hello, hello. Hi, so thanks for having me.
Gavin:
Our our burning question is always how have your kids already driven you baddie today?
SPEAKER_00:
Um, this was uh let’s let’s have a little caveat here. Okay. Uh uh they’re generally pretty good, you know, there are they so like it’s not like they’re they’re four years old and they don’t know what a podcast is. So I can’t.
David:
Save it for another show, Mark. Save it for another show. We don’t want to hear the good stuff.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, we already but but um uh this week we we happened to have a car, which is a big deal, and we were driving around New Jersey, and uh one of my daughters said she said she said, Oh, um, you know, can we go to the the hobby lobby? You know, do you know what the hobby lobby is? Yeah, it’s zero idea. So it’s got like a bunch of crap, and and she wants to make she wanted to make a quilt. Okay, so we’re we’re they’re buying all sorts of materials and and and you know, cotton padding and all this other crap. And and um, and you know, you we were there for a while, and I said to her, hey, you you really you I hope you followed through on this. And she goes, uh, she got really indignant. She said, you know, when have I ever not followed through on something? I said, I’ve been asking for a stupid little string bracelet from you for like a past fucking year and a half.
Gavin:
I just want a friendship bracelet, darling. I just want a bracelet.
SPEAKER_00:
And every time it’s just like, well, Dad, what do you want for your birthday? So I was like, just the bracelet would be great. Okay, okay, Christmas, yeah, just the bracelet. Father’s Day bracelet. It’s been five times where she’s asked me um what I want. I keep on saying that. And uh I know I know we’re just gonna have like a bunch of material just sitting in a corner gathering those.
David:
I was hoping that you would say, like, when she was like, when have I ever done that? You’re like, well, I have a PowerPoint presentation for them. Like, and then you just go through every single time. Of all the ways you’ve disappointed me over the last couple of years.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I’ve prepped some, I’m prepping some with my kids, and they’re only five and you’re not the only one able to use Google Slides for birthday, birthday wish lists.
David:
But also, can you help me log in because I can’t find my password? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gavin:
So true. You’re absolutely right about that, Mark. I didn’t realize that was like a universal thing right now. Kids making Google slide presentations of their Christmas lists. David, we’ve never talked about this open can of worms. I mean, my kids, I thought, oh, you actually have some, you’re learning something at that public school of yours. You know how to make a Google slide list of your of your Christmas list.
David:
I feel like it’s kind of like the kids are doing the promposals. I’m like, that’s listen, that’s a creative, thoughtful thing that they have to do that we never did.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah. It’s it takes it definitely takes a lot of guesswork out of it. Um, but at the same time, it’s like, uh, do you really need a sweatshirt? Come on. Yeah, seriously.
Gavin:
So many so many oversized sweatshirts, so many oversized sweatshirts. Also, there are apps now, right, where they can basically preload their wish list and be like, dad, but there’s just a touch of a button here, you’ve got all of my wish list. I’m like, wow, that’s convenient for your consumerism, isn’t it? It’s awful. And so, Mark, speaking of, let’s talk a little more about your kids, can we? Um just tell us about your um tell us about your family, who’s in it, and uh what are those dynamics like in your massively outnumbered life that you lead?
David:
And who’s your favorite kid? List them. Go.
SPEAKER_00:
I uh you know Sarah’s my wife, and and she uh she is she really runs everything. She does she would run everything. She she really does. Um, and I have two girls, 16 and almost 15 years old, so in just the thick of teenage parenting. Um and yeah, you know that they’re they’re it’s I I grew up as an only kid, so I have just zero reference with for like how a teenage girl acts, also because I wasn’t exactly like the super social guy. So um it was uh yeah, it’s it’s it’s really interesting just to see them sometimes they’re great and sometimes they’re just fucking horrible. They’re horrible to each other, and then and then and then I guess we’ll come into our house and then they’ll just be like they’ll go back to them being the nicest kids again.
David:
So that was gonna be my question because I have two kids, but they’re they’re they’re five and three, so they’re way far away from that. But like sometimes they are best of friends and make each other better laugh, and sometimes they will they will literally fight like caged animals over a veggie straw they found underneath the Roomba. That that was an argument this morning was that he was walking around with a veggie straw he found on the ground, and she was screaming at him. But that’s my veggie straw. And I just want to know does it get better?
SPEAKER_00:
It it it does not. Ah Mark. It becomes well, you know. I mean, if it’s if it’s girls, it’s not as physical. There, there have been only a couple times where it’s gotten physical. Um, and and and but it’s more, it’s the psychological, the psychological warfare is just on another level.
Gavin:
And the psychological warfare of your entire family, though, I think is like your wife is super international. She’s Italian, but sort of raised in England, right? Yeah, something like that. I mean, I would imagine that there is such a level of I don’t know, uh uh femininity in your house that I would imagine I I envision you just being shut out the door sometimes, being like, oh Mark, you don’t understand. Just get out.
SPEAKER_00:
It’s helped that my younger daughter is really into sports. Uh-huh. That’s that’s helped a lot. And so so she’s she’s really into the WNBA, and and as a result, I’ve I’ve gotten really into the WNBA. And um so that’s that’s good. Uh, but there were until then when she really got into it, it was it was yeah, I’d have like I’d act like a pissy little bitch, and I’d be like, no one no one in this household understands me. You know, just like kicking the ground, like you know, in the living room.
David:
Yeah, I feel like that m Gavin has mentioned this before. I don’t have experience with this, but like there’s these little access points to get through. And for you, it was that sports thing. Like we can mean on this sports level and maybe find other places from there. And Gavin, I think it was what, like Starbucks or something, where you’re like, somehow this was my entry point to like talk to my daughter like a human being. Yeah.
Gavin:
Um that’s true. That’s true, where we finally are seeing, I don’t know, not exactly eye to eye, but uh, I certainly it’s a it’s a bonding point for sure. So then finally with teenagerhood, I mean, has yeah, has raising two teenagers been harder than you expected or easier than you expected?
SPEAKER_00:
I think we got we got a bit lucky. The kind of the the the really kind of rebellious um period or kind of like a kind of the the separation separating, you know, that actually happened for our older daughter. It was kind of during COVID. So we were forced together, so it wasn’t like she could just go off and take off and just you know, yeah smoke cigarettes or something like that. But but it was just it was like really she so that was kind of good, and but yeah, the moody stuff, it’s it’s it’s okay. It’s it’s not not as bad as I thought. Everybody is I mean, I do remember, I remember once uh long before I met Sarah, I I met this guy um who went to the side of the side.
SPEAKER_02:
Met this guy off of Snippies, uh he was lovely.
SPEAKER_00:
He was he went to uh he went to Johns Hopkins like during the same time I did, and he was like a jock. He was like the cool crowd, all this sort of stuff. And we happened to be working with each other on a case, and we we were just hanging out, and he was talking about his teenage girls, and he was he was going through he was going through like a tough time, like you know, personally and all this sort of stuff, and he was talking telling me about the his teenage girls, and he looked at me and he was just like, it is hell. And I just saw like this guy who was like such a cool guy on campus, reduced to like just a shell of an old man.
Gavin:
Well, that’s relatable, that’s very relatable. Well, speaking of being a shell of an old man, um, one of the reasons we wanted to talk to you is because you are a published author of what I may say is, David, I am you I never speak in exaggerations whatsoever. Never. Never.
SPEAKER_02:
Never once.
Gavin:
This is definitely the best parenting book I’ve ever read and by far the funniest. And you get advice from it, and you just like it’s a it’s just an easy read and a touching read in all the things. And in particular, the title is Please Open in the Event of My Death A Daughter’s Advice to His Daughter Excuse me, a father’s advice to his daughter in case something horrible happens, which hopefully it won’t, but just in case. The levels of neuroses about that is the most New York uh title I’ve ever heard. But then in particular, I love, I remember, I admittedly, I read it a couple of years ago, and of course I read it last night as well, in preparation to talk to you again. Oh, yeah. What I remember is the chapters are divided into such relatable elements of like this aspect of your life and this aspect of your life. So some of the chapters are um uh describe yourself in three words, and that’s in quotes, because it’s just like the bullshit of, oh my God, you’re so much so many times in your life you’re gonna have to uh describe yourself in three words, and it’s an exercise in futility, and yet you just have to play along with it. Or what TV show theme songs from Cheers, Friends, the Golden Girls, et cetera, are trying to get at? Or um The Wisdom of Charlie Sheen, or the last one is advice on how to successfully navigate social waters from someone who has never voted prom king who was never voted prom king or won any senior superlatives, etc. It’s um it’s very self-deprecating. I hope that you got out all of your insecurities while writing this. But anyway, tell us about your book and why did you write a uh uh an ode to your daughters?
SPEAKER_00:
Um, it was it was it started when they were about three and four, actually. And and uh the year they were three and four was kind of a tough year, and I was doing a lot of travel uh for work, and I’m just a jumpy flyer to begin with. Uh not timely at all, but but uh you know, I mean, it’s I just every time I would go on a flight, I would think, if this plane goes down, the kids aren’t gonna remember a single thing about me, right? And so that was basically the the the book was the answer to what would I wanted them to know? And it’s about just very personal things like meeting Sarah for the first time and and just kind of also talking about uh my family and my background. And then, you know, because it wasn’t there, there are other books out there that are just uh you know advice, life advice for your kids, but usually these people were um you know having like a uh mortality, like like a mortal illness, basically. They were ready to, they were um, they really need to get out. So they they end up being very uh you know, dark in a sense, and and very, very kind of heavy. And and so I was lucky in that uh I was able to just play around with it and have more fun with it and and kind of keep it light. So far.
David:
It’s coming for you. It’s coming for you, Mark. No way. But yeah, you’re like curating your legacy, right? You’re trying to like yeah, yeah, interesting.
SPEAKER_00:
It’s and it’s it’s interesting because you know, we you you can you have these you have these general notions of what uh what’s important to you and how you want your kids, but if you really think about it and you you think about, you know, what it what are the three things you’d want your kid to be, like just at their core, then it really sharpens your vision as to you know what kind of how do you want to parent your kid um and how do you want to to help them develop in a way that that you think, oh, this is this is like this will be this will be good for them.
David:
Wow. What do you what do you want your three uh your kids to be? What are the three things, Gavin, you want your kids to be? Oh, what I want my rich rich rich and I I would squeeze not an asshole in there.
Gavin:
Yeah. I mean rich and not an asshole. So rich, rich so poor.
David:
Rich. Yeah, yeah.
Gavin:
So ha Mark, have your daughters read it by this point?
SPEAKER_00:
They uh they have started it. And then and somewhere along the way, they they they they kind of stopped. For one of them, it was she come she didn’t complain, but she said it just got too sad. I think I think it was like it was too sad for her because I you know I describe about how they used to be, and it’s it’s about you know time passing, right? And so I think and but then my my counter to that is you know you she’s been she’s been on this streak of wanting to watch really weepy movies. So she so she saw the other day, she saw a beautiful boy with it’s about a story about drug addiction, Timothy Chalamy. Oh yeah, right. And and she’s crying her eyes out. She’s she’s watched Dead Poet Society like twice in the last month, and she’s just again crying her eyes out. She wants to see like Schindler’s list. Oh my gosh. Oh my god. You want to do that? Yeah, you don’t want to read my book? What the hell?
Gavin:
Um, but my book was too sad, and let’s go to Schindler’s list. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:
So um, but they they they are they are reading, and I’m I’m you know, I I I I do tell them it’s it’s interesting the number of times where I say this is in the book. I’ve like when I’m trying, I’m telling they ask, they ask certain questions, and I’m just like, hey, I’ll tell you, you know, I tell them, I give them the answer, but I I say to them, hey, you know, just FYI, it’s in the book.
David:
I feel like though it’s hard, it would be hard for me at 15 or 16 to give a shit about what my dad thought about me at three. But man, at 25, is that book gonna be so valuable to them when they’re in their apartment and they’re feeling it’s I think it’s when you click over. We all had that point of seeing your parents as this like general blob of like you’re a parent to like this human who became a parent. This right, because I feel like that is a point where your whole view of your parent changes. And I bet your book is gonna be really valuable to you. But until now, it’s just an annoyance to them, clearly. Right now. I love that they’d rather see Chandler’s list than read your book. That that is the quote that should go on the New York Times article about it. Like, my kids would rather watch Chendler’s List than read this book.
Gavin:
That’s the best book jacket. Totally. Totally uh blurb I’ve ever imagined. Well, so now it has been a few years since you wrote it. Is there any advice you look on back on now and think, wow, that was garbage?
SPEAKER_00:
You know what? I’m gonna pat myself on the back here. There’s nothing that’s like points out as, oh, this is re this this kind of missed the mark. Um like the the there’s there’s kind of on PC stuff about what guys think of girls. Like about this, they’re basically, you know, and just wait, and so like, you know, what what they’re really after. And it’s it’s like and it’s it’s you know, if really on PC, but I mean, you know, they’re getting a crash course in it right now. Like, and you just have like these uh and so um that’s that’s been good. What’s been pretty relevant right now is uh there’s a there’s a whole chapter on friends, right? The ones that you you mentioned, the TV show. Um and um it’s that is actually that’s been really kind of helpful in terms of helping them navigate because it’s you know, but with especially teenage girls, it’s like one day you’re best friends and the other, you know, you hate each other, right? And so it’s uh that’s that’s been really um good to feel like oh, this is this is really helping out, helping them out.
David:
And it feels life or death to them, right? To that that they they can’t see it the way we see it, where we’re like, oh yeah, fuck that girl. Who cares? Yeah, but to them it is life or death. Dan Savage c says it best when he he calls men testosterone soaked dick monsters. It’s like, yeah, that’s that’s it. That’s that’s that’s us.
SPEAKER_00:
I should have used that.
David:
I think to be laserize that, too.
Gavin:
Well, that can be in volume two. Yeah. Um one of the things I also found, I mean, you’re so self-deprecating in it, but it’s like you are um I I like all of us, relatively successful. I mean, we’re standing up and here on a podcast, aren’t we? And relatively happy. We could all complain about how awful our lives are, but at the same time, um, we all live good lives. And so, but you’re able to show the self-deprecating nature of like being an awkward teenager and unable to talk to friends, and then you land this amazing Italian wife and everything. I mean, but it’s uh you go through the self-deprecation, which has been interesting. And uh, one element that I found also interesting is that you talk a lot about Asian identity in it as well. And you talk about your um coming to terms with it, coming to uh coming to age, and uh bestowing advice upon them also as being like, hey, you are um uh uh daughters who are of mixed race, and you’ll probably have to deal with some of this shit too. And can you tell us about that?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, it’s uh I I I grew up in basically I just moved from place to place until I was about um 14 years old. And and uh so I always felt like an outsider, and it was really tough to to fit in and and and and just be just feel like you know comfortable socially. Uh my girls don’t feel that way, or at least as much that way, which is which is nice. And and I think in an odd way, so social media can can cut both ways, right? It can it can be this thing where you feel connected to people, but then you do too much of it, then you just get you overdose on it, and you just get really it’s just uh just an uh a terrible, awful space to be in where you’re constantly overthinking about overthinking things. Um and so yeah, I I think I think that’s been that’s that’s really been nice to kind of help them. Uh sorry, this was all about Asian being Asian and stuff. But yeah, I think like I think like um, you know, they’re both at a school, they’re both at a school, uh they’re they’re at Brooklyn Tech, which is uh the country’s largest high school, uh 6,000 kids. Holy shit. It’s crazy. And uh there are a lot of kids who are Asian. And so they see they see like the wide range of of Asian kids who are, you know, they study really hard, but they they don’t have great social skills, and then others who are, you know, much more uh say rebellious and and and ready to where you go crazy. Um and so it’s they’re kind of finding their own voice, so to speak, and and and just trying to and trying to be like someone who’s who’s proud of who they are and it and also um not succumbing to stereotypes uh of of of them. Um, and that’s it’s very different from when I grew up because, you know, my my back in the 70s, it was this emphasis on, hey, you’re you you we came to this country and we’re gonna fit in. We’re gonna we’re gonna assimilate, we’re not going to, you know, we’re we’re not gonna we’re just we’re just gonna blend into society. And so I think a consequence of that was me, again, trying to fit in and and trying to, I don’t know, tamp down uh aspects of my my my Asian identity just to just to uh to do that.
David:
Gavin, what are some of your favorite Asian stereotypes?
SPEAKER_00:
And please do it with voices, use voices.
David:
Yeah, please go. This is not SNL where they write the race jokes for each other on um the news. Um just just mark just FY. I my my entire goal for every interview is to set Gavin up for failure consistently, as much as I can do, as many roadblocks as I can do.
Gavin:
Funny, he um he often doesn’t need help with that, but I’ll say that in my own deprecating way. Well, the book really is um a complete delight, really. And um, I hope you’re happy with it. Are you happy with it? Are you happy with it?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I’m I’m happy. I think I think one of the fears I had um writing it was just that I would look at it six months or a year later and just cringe at some of the some of the things I I wrote. Um and I haven’t re read my book so maybe I think in my own mind, it’s like, oh, this is this is perfect. But I’m sure, you know, but I feel like but I feel like oh, you you know, I think it I think it holds up and it does. There, I don’t know. There’s sometimes there’s sometimes they just read and I’m just like, oh, this this is pretty good. How I don’t know how I could possibly do better than this.
David:
Well, it’s also like the entry point there. Like you can’t, anybody who’s ever had to parent somebody, like you’re immediately humbled and you’re immediately forced to reckon with the fact that we’re all kind of terrible at it and then also all great at it. And so to see a book like this that is like honoring all of the failure as well as the positivity, I think is why you’re like, okay, some of the parenting is like, this is the way you have to parent. And just setting it up that way is like, oh, this is, I don’t trust this person. Because clearly this person has no idea how to deal with a veggie straw incident that happened this morning. So I think that’s part partially why probably your book is so digestible. So like, oh, this guy gets it, right? Like this kind of gets it.
Gavin:
Amazing segue to Mark knowing exactly how to parent well, right? Because Mark, can you tell us about your next venture, please?
SPEAKER_00:
Ooh, uh yeah. So I as Gavin knows, I’ve I’ve spent uh so much time trying to do things other than being a lawyer.
Gavin:
Which is an entire chapter in the book as well. I mean, I read it and I’m like, if any of his colleagues get a hold of this, he’s going to be fired. Which hasn’t happened yet, right?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah. There’s been some warnings, let’s put it that way.
David:
Uh it was the only fans that got the warnings, I guess. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:
Okay. Um it it’s, you know, I really well, originally the the original plan for this was actually to write it anonymously. And so, yeah. And so, um, and and I and I was actually gonna like try to leave some certain some like some trail of breadcrumbs to to actually, you know, have people who knew, like, or maybe this could this could I know this person or whatever. Right. Um, but uh, you know, in the end, yeah, I’ve I’ve I’ve uh I do have a I have a bit of a uh conflicted uh feeling about the law, and I think especially I do litigation, which is just fighting in court every day. And I thought, well, you know, this is it’s not it’s not what I’m best at. I can do this. I mean, I’ve done this for 25 years, and I know how to to litigate and to write and to argue and all this other stuff, but is it really what I’m really best at? It’s kind of the the analogy that I think of is, you know, maybe I’m classically trained pianist, but I’m really more of a jazz guy, right? And so I thought, well, what what is something that would be what are my strengths and what would something that would that would really capitalize on? And and um I’m gonna shout out my friend Miriam, who’s uh who’s a who’s a coach herself. And she’s Miriam, hope you’re a listener. Miriam, yeah, yeah. And she’s uh and she kind of opened me up to this idea of of life and executive coaching that that is kind of uh takes a lot of my skill sets, which is um listening, uh empathy, um uh problem solving, and and just being just kind of helping someone through through a situation. And so as a result, I I did a course, a 10-month course, um, which involved, I think, 300, 400 hours of of instruction and and uh actual one-on-one coaching, and and now I’m a certified uh life coach. And yeah, so that’s been it’s been really rewarding. And I and I I really want to to be able to develop this if possible.
David:
Listening, problem solving. There’s gaven, these are not our skill sets. Not at all. Being helpful, yeah. This is not our skill set. We’re gonna have to hire him because that’s not for us.
Gavin:
Well then, um, what so what do you think makes a good coach? Like, is it um is it just having a tolerance for other people’s bullshit neuroses and trying not to roll your eyes? Or or is it doling out advice and being like, I know you’re not gonna listen to me anyway, but like what makes a good coach?
SPEAKER_00:
So, so the I think the biggest misconception about coaching is that it’s giving advice and and it’s really real coaching is basically um is premised on this idea that the client knows best, right? So if you if you have sorry, if you have a problem and I I you describe for 45 minutes, um it’s kind of presumptuous for me to at the end of those 45 minutes say, hey guys, this is what you should do, you know? Um because I I you haven’t told me, you know, everything about that that situation. You don’t I I’m not inside your head as to how you’re feeling. So it’s really more about me asking the questions that help you arrive at the answer. And so it sounds it sounds when it’s done well, it’s like, yeah, you get real, real insights and breakthroughs. And and I think key, the key to doing that, to being a good coach, is certainly listening, um, and really also not holding judgment. That’s really the thing that holds back like a lot of people from oh yeah, being vulnerable and and and and really being honest and being open to change and so forth. Um, so that’s those are the kinds of things that that that’s that’s really helpful in in in being a coach and certainly confidentiality and really again, that’s all judgment related, right?
David:
So I feel like our first, or Gavin, tell me if I’m wrong. I think our very, very first top three list was top three pieces of parenting advice. Was it not?
Gavin:
Oh, pro I feel like it was.
David:
That seems like the banal basic way to start out. So speaking of banal, I’m gonna ask you that question. Like, of all the advice, this is not necessarily your coaching self-talking. This is just your dad. So, like, of all the advice that you could give and you’re like, oh, this all worked for me, is there one thing that you latch on to? You’re like, this is a core thing that I’ve learned that is true.
SPEAKER_00:
Um I would say I would say, you know, if you’re if you’re just this is so corny. If you’re a good person, and I say to my girls, if you’re a good person, like eventually good people will come to you. You know, and it’s just and it’s really hard to kind of to to get in the moment when when something bad is happening, but like you know, good attract energy attracts good energy, right? And and oh Gavin, I’m gonna say attracts, yeah.
Gavin:
David, I was I was I was actually waiting for him to speak, so I could be like, I could see Gavin’s eyeballs looking at me. This is just waiting for it. And this is the answer. This is this is why we brought Mark on the show, David. This is your intervention. I know, I know, I know.
David:
But I I will say, Mark, I do I do agree with that. Every once in a while I have a night out where I’m just like, fuck, I have some great friends, and I just think, yeah, good good people find each other, you know. And and yeah, no, that’s true. I’m not gonna even make a joke about that. That’s true. That is, I disagree with you on that.
Gavin:
That is the most hashtag gratitude I’ve ever heard from you, Joe, here in 2025. But that but that is very true. And what about um what’s the shittiest parenting advice you’ve um heard from somebody else that you thought I would never ever spread that nonsense other than sleep when the baby sleeps?
David:
That’s my that’s the worst one for me.
SPEAKER_00:
Um shitty advice. Uh boy, I would I would say you know, all right. The old school Asian way is um it’s really shame-based. Because there’s this idea, there’s this idea that well, you know, there’s you know, obviously upholding your name is like a big deal, right? In Asian culture, right? And and so um if there’s something there’s something within that old school Asian parent that kind of thinks, well, if I insult my kid, then the kid’s gonna say, oh dang it, I’m gonna I’m gonna try even harder. And and and that actually kind of it kind of works when you’re a small kid because you just don’t know anybody. You just want to please your your mom and your dad. Um, and so it kind of made me realize, oh, that’s that’s really it’s kind of it’s kind of sucks. It’s it’s really not a good way to it’s not it’s not sustainable, as as uh you know we’re prone to say.
Gavin:
But um did you learn that as a young parent or even before parenting? Or where do you think?
SPEAKER_00:
Oh, that was as a as a parent. And I mean I it wasn’t even right away. It was just kind of it was um watching my mother mother like parent parent our kids. Oh and and that’s when I kind of had to step in and be like, no, you can’t you can’t do that. You can’t do it.
David:
It’s such a fascinating window is watching your parent parent your kids, and you’re like, oh wait, I see. Oh, wait, hold on. Yeah.
unknown:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And I think I think that happens, I mean, I’m sure that happens all the time when you know there’s that conflict between parent and and child when the grandchild is born, because you really you start to resent the the parent for for the the grandparent, I guess, you know, it too for for the way that they parented you. And and so it’s really uh there’s that there’s that clash that it’s feels like it’s almost inevitable. It’s just it’s really and and so and then the parents kind of like the grandparents just kind of like, well, you know, this is this is this is what I I try to do my best, right? And it’s just like you turned out fine, and all this other stuff.
David:
And so I’m not fine. Look at me. I’m on a podcast for God’s sake. I’m hideous. But also I think they get defensive about any change to what they did feels like an attack on what they did. And sometimes it is, let’s be honest. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s like, hey, we have new information. We’ve learned that you sleep on your back now. That isn’t that doesn’t mean you were a shitty parent because you put me face down while you were smoking a cigarette indoors. Right. But it is, you know, we’ve learned new new things.
Gavin:
Or we hope. Anyway. Or we hope. You know what? You touched a little bit upon um your um edit that.
David:
And um I’m keeping it in because, Gavin, we’ve had a perfect interview so far, and I don’t want to have to edit anymore.
Gavin:
I skipped one question, which I’m curious, is um how much is coaching like being an attorney or vice versa?
SPEAKER_00:
You know what? Uh, it’s it’s pretty much uh diametric opposites.
Gavin:
I set you up for that. Just another reason to hate your profession.
SPEAKER_00:
I actually it was it was interesting because I, when you know, you’re you’re taught how to ask questions and so forth, I realized it was actually the opposite of how I’ve been trained as a lawyer. And so as a litigator, you know, all my time is spent trying to pin you to a corner, right? Like so everything starts out with, you know, don’t you think, isn’t it true? Right? Yeah, yes, no questions, all this other stuff.
Gavin:
And leading questions, and you can’t lead in questions, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
You can’t ask questions. And also, and also asking kind of even rapid fire questions, right? One after the other. It’s called like stacking questions, where you just kind of you just want to you put the the other person a little bit on the defensive, right? Uh-huh. Um, and that’s exactly the opposite of how you should approach a coaching uh client. It’s really it’s it’s asking open-ended questions, um, just being really quiet, uh, and and also, you know, the listening, the listening to questions part is is obviously critical for both, but um, it’s really just kind of sensing, sensing energy, sensing, sensing kind of, you know, detail, and and really just letting not not being afraid for of the silences.
Gavin:
Which is parenting too, I suppose, huh? Um, so I did want to ask just a little bit, and I know that we could have another entirely different podcast just talking about your incredibly fascinating upbringing, but will you just give us the cliffs notes on how you what and how and what circumstances you grew up in under?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, so um I was born in Tokyo. My father was uh from Taiwan, he grew up in Taiwan, my mother is from Japan, and uh we moved, so it was from I was born in Tokyo, moved to New York, DC, Tokyo, DC, Boston, and Rome. And when we got to Rome, I was still only 11 years old. So that all happened in 11 years. Club we lived in four years in Rome.
SPEAKER_02:
Club, bus, airplane, club, sorry, continue. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And um, it was uh and it was because my father was a deep cover CIA agent. What isn’t that so fascinating?
David:
Are you allowed to say that? Did you not?
SPEAKER_00:
Right, you’re okay he’s he he got an overt retirement, so that’s that’s actually unusual in and of itself. And so once he was able to say he he he worked for the CIA, he had this card, which he was very happy to show anybody who would who would uh give him the time of day. Yeah, and also um he had to go on a big uh apology tour because he had to like everybody everybody he had met, uh family, all this other stuff. Uh he had to say, you know, I’m really sorry, you know, uh that that uh misled you, and this is what I I used to do.
David:
And your dad was basically Will Smith and Men in Black. Like he had a little flashy thing. That’s what my brain went to. Like he saved the world from aliens. We don’t know.
SPEAKER_00:
He w he was he was uh so his title was uh non-official cover, a knock. And so the the thing I I I like to uh mention is um you know, in that first Mission Impossible movie where Tom Cruise is dangling from the wires and he’s uploading that that disc, that floppy disc, that’s how long ago. The floppy, yes. The floppy disc. And that floppy disc had uh a list of all knock knocks around the world. And so my dad would have been on that list, no big deal. But you know, on that floppy disk.
Gavin:
Did he grow up a little Taiwanese boy thinking I want to go work for the American CIA because no one will believe that I am somebody you need to stalk? I mean, how did that come about?
SPEAKER_00:
He was he so he went to the US Um to study, he went to Georgetown, and he got kicked out of Georgetown. It may have been because he was gambling, um doing a lot of poker and stuff. Um David knows somebody. But he eventually he ended he ended up in uh in Europe and he was kind of partying and and and drinking his way throughout Spain and France, and then he decided, okay, I need to get serious about things, and he uh quite literally picked up uh the Count of Monte Cristo and a dictionary and started learning French. And he he was admitted uh into uh Science Po, which is uh the political science uh school of uh the University of Paris and was sort of the Harvard of France, okay. Yeah, and it was, and he got his uh his bachelor’s and his master’s there, and by that time he knew um he knew five languages. So that made him automatically a very uh attractive um candidate, and he was recruited. Oh, this was also during, you know, this is during the James Bond era. This is what so yeah. So this was kind of this was I I can imagine that this was extremely exciting for him. So shit.
David:
To be fair, Pig Latin was one of the five languages, which doesn’t really count, but okay.
SPEAKER_00:
And Wookie. Wookiee. Um but uh yeah, so he was so he was really uh it was glamorous for him and and but it was also obviously a huge uh what was what a hire wire act where you just have to constantly be on alert and and just and so he did it for 20 years and then he retired. And so he retired at 52 years old. Wow, which is you know insanely young.
Gavin:
Yeah, hashtag life goals. Yeah, probably lucky to live that long, frankly, huh?
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, yeah. It was it was when we were in Rome, that was in the middle of the Cold War and and dealing with Libyans. Um, you know, one of the things one one super, super close call was that uh there’s a a Libyan who was assassinated in Rome at that time, um, like a brazen assassination. And uh the crazy thing is my father was supposed to meet him like the week after. So just you know, if he had like a card, like a business card or something on him, or they would have they would have been able to trace him back to it. And also he’s not affiliated at that point, he’s not affiliated with the US government at all. So right, so the US government would just be like, yeah, we don’t know this guy. He’s a rogue, you know.
Gavin:
So um that is uh bonkers. I got the pleasure of meeting uh Mark’s wife, uh excuse me, Mark’s mom a few years ago. And um, I did ask her basically, because I had just found out about the CIA story, so I was brazen enough to be like, what was it like to be the wife of a CIA agent? And I remember remember her saying basically, she said, constant fucking stress. It was so, she was so stressed all the time, not knowing if he was gonna come home alive. I mean, yes, I can’t imagine. She did not say fucking, by the way. Um, well, Mark, um, tell us, first of all, thank you for demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast. Thank you. I do want to remind folks of your book. Um, if we have 10 more minutes, I’ll read the title again, okay? Do we have that? Yeah. Please open in the event of my death a daughter’s advice to his daughters in case something horrible happens, which hopefully it won’t, but just in case, where can they find your book?
SPEAKER_00:
It can be found on on Amazon. It can also be found, I believe, on uh Mascot Books as well, which is uh the publisher. Um Love it. I also did I did the uh I did the audio book as well, which uh was my my my attempt to uh to uh you know. emote and and act and stuff. So um oh oh oh right all right yeah and also yeah building Kindle yeah Kindle and all this other stuff so yeah it’s so always our last question please tell us one of those shit storms of parenting that you will never ever ever forget uh the the thing that came to mind for me was um one of my daughters I will not name which one uh was when around again five five ish or so during the summer we’d send them to to day camps right for the week and this one involved princess it was like literally princess camp and so and at the end of the week there was this big performance where they just kind of run around and grab us and all this other stuff right and so uh we go there and every and every kid is just wearing uh like a beautiful you know princess outfit and that’s what you were paying for was the dress yeah exactly and all we all we saw was our daughter just wearing like a normal dress and um they’re just like well well what happened well it turned out she uh she pooped herself because she completely she said and I I got some more details but she basically she was sitting down and she’s she’s she’s lactose intolerant oh no and she just kind of she just kind of started pooping and she just let it go. So like so so late so years later so years later we’re watching bridesmaids and that that scene with Maya Rudolph is just in the middle of the street um pooping in that dress she she really related to that yeah yeah there isn’t just like event horizon over once you start you’re like I guess this is what we’re doing at this point.
David:
Exactly oh man that’s given yeah yeah uh thank you again Mark uh total pleasure talking so much and yeah thank you guys good luck with good luck with the next book and your next chapter and your next career okay thank you thank you we’ll try we’ll try so my something great this week I couldn’t even say talk about it out loud after I saw it because I was getting too choked up is I saw the Broadway musical Maybe Happy Ending uh two days ago and it is one of the best news shows I’ve seen in a decade it is so beautiful it’s so simple the visual storytelling is fucking wild but it is just it’s it to me the best theater just stirs up emotion it could be rage it could be joy it could be laughter it could be sad it could be whatever but I always get disappointed when I see a show and I walk out kind of like yeah that was kind of cool like it didn’t stir anything at me I was just choking back tears for the last half hour of this show. It was so beautiful um I don’t want to say too much about it but basically it’s about two robots outside of Seoul Korea who fall in love. That’s that’s that’s it. And you’re like David how was that a musical? I don’t know but they did it and it’s fucking beautiful and it’s wonderful and I it’s gonna win all the awards. I can’t imagine it won’t. So if you’re hearing the sound of my voice and you have access to go see Broadway shows buy tickets now because these tickets will go very quickly maybe happy ending I love the scenario of two robots in South Korea.
Gavin:
I mean frankly weirder things have happened in the musical theater canon that’s for sure although I mean that’s up there. That is definitely up there but I mean you’ve got to hand it to the musical theater world of sometimes thinking very conventionally and in the box and sometimes thinking very unconventionally what about a barber who murders people and then cooks them and then sells the pies that’s like yeah that’s one of the most famous shows and what about a musical about 9-11 you know oh yeah that’s true.
David:
That’s true. But this one also what I’ll say about this one is that it’s totally original. Everything’s original it’s not based off of anything there’s no previous IP all the music is new everything the the way they do the the the set is incredible. It’s it’s really good. Anyway that’s my something great this week.
Gavin:
So I’m gonna end the way that I began which is uh sledding again uh so last night you know how it the diminishing returns on sledding are vast right I mean by the next day after a fresh snowfall it’s it’s quickly downhill but we uh last night just at sundown my daughter said will you come sledding with me and I thought I’m not gonna go to the conscient club and she said no no just over at the neighbor’s hill and so the three of us my kids and I went we did our own sledding last night no jumps involved um our dog was with us trying to for some reason run alongside us and bite our mittens off every which I feel like is a very dog thing while you sled.
David:
It’s also very Norman Rockwell the way that like you know what I mean.
Gavin:
Yeah very Norman Rockwell. The whole thing was Norman Rockwellian but um in but in general my kids did want to still hang out with me and something great is is thinking I don’t really want to go get called right now I don’t really want to put on boots I don’t really and then you just do it and you gotta because um because guess what in a few years they won’t be they won’t be in the backseat anymore. And that is our show.
David:
If you have any comments suggestions or general compliments you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com or you can DM us on Instagram we are at gatriarchspodcast on the internet David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere and Gavin is at gaven lodge on awesome five star review wherever you get your podcast. Thanks and we’ll hurt our back with you next time on another episode of Gatriarchs