Full Transcript
Sorry.
David:
But you’re right.
Gavin:
I I don’t want anybody to actually think that I think murder is hot. Although, I don’t know. I mean, maybe.
David:
I mean, maybe. Do you want to stop? I love how I get like femme sub bottom whenever I’m like talking about murderers. I’m like, I don’t know.
Gavin:
And this is Gatriarchs.
David:
So I was on a work trip for the past week and a half, and let’s pause there.
Gavin:
Because you have been away for an entire week and a half, and I don’t care if it’s a work trip. I don’t care if you are digging ditches. You are away from the bitches.
David:
Can I say that? Can we say that? Yeah. You can say that, but I mean, that’s what I was gonna say is that, like, listen, I was in a hotel room by myself in a king-size bed. What? With the air conditioning as low as legally allowed, shivering naked under my covers, happier than I’ve ever been. But um, I I was I was away for work and um I have a mini rant at the top. So I uh for those of you who don’t know, I play professional poker for a long time.
Gavin:
Oh yeah, we we we that has never been mentioned here, and it’s still something I’m uh coming to grips with. Coming to grips with because it just boggles my mind. So we’re gonna need an entire episode, a sidebar episode on Legally Blonde and your poker professionalism.
David:
Yes. So um I was playing poker. Um I was in LA for a little while, and there’s a great card room there, so I was playing poker, and somebody said something to me. We were talking about parenting, and I have heard it a million times. You’ve said it to me, I’ve said it to other people, and I just want to like broadly tell the parent community to fucking stop it, which is the whole just you wait conversation, right? Yes, it’s the like you have this looming horror as a parent that I love to dangle in front of you. You know, I’m like, oh, I just love spending time with my kids, just you wait till they’re teens. Oh, I this, this, this. Oh, well, just you wait. I get it, right? We we as parents have no idea what’s coming in front of us. And when we’ve done it, we like to like tease and taunt the new parents who have hope in their eyes. But he was saying we were talking about something, and he was he has two teens, and he was just like, just you wait. And he literally couldn’t respond to anything I said unless he said, just you wait. And so I would like to I would like me and you and all people to just fucking stop it because I wanna let me enjoy this and let if the horror is gonna come, it’s gonna come. You saying just you wait doesn’t help me.
Gavin:
Why do we have to do that though? I is it a man I I wonder if that’s like one-upsmanship or like domination to be like, well, listen, I’ve been there and I know what a what I need to warn you, man.
David:
No, I think it’s more like trauma dumping, it’s like a way to work through it yourself. Yeah, it’s listen, we we we’re passing along our trauma, right? We’re just passing along to the next generation of parents.
Gavin:
I that I think that makes perfect sense. Uh yeah, and so yeah, from from here on out, you heard it, heard it here first. We I will not say that again for the next two and a half minutes. But after that, um all bets are off because it’s true. You want to be able to say just you wait. I have had so many times this week where I’ve I’ve you have popped into mind as I’m like, oh, just you wait, David. It all gets so much worse.
David:
We all fucking do it, but like it’s so unhelpful from the receiver’s end. And I have literally done it to people who have like an infit and they’re like, it’s just so joyful. And I want to just say, you haven’t even gotten to month three yet, where where you’re tired and they are still not sleeping through the night.
Gavin:
But and why are we spreading negativity like that too? I don’t know. They haven’t listened to you, they haven’t listened to your positive gratitude. Oh, it’s gonna get cuter. It’s gonna get more fun. It’s always just like everything’s gonna get worse. It gets worse, it gets worse, it gets worse.
David:
And but we do that. Yeah. So, Gavin, um, this past Sunday was Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day.
Gavin:
Happy Mother’s Day. Which one of you is the mother? Are you the mom? Are you the mom? Who’s the mother in your house? Yeah. Um, well, I uh I was actually thinking about that a lot because it I feel like talking about Mother’s Day is such a hot button issue for gay dads. And I think, I think that we all go through that moment the first time we’re, you know, the first time we’re a parent around Mother’s Day, and somebody inevitably says, Oh, should happy Mother’s Day, should I say it to you? And I know that I’ve experienced this and I’ve seen other uh gay dads on social basically react to it negatively, where we’re like, How dare you assume that I have a wife? How dare you assume there’s a mother involved? How dare you, how dare you, how dare you? And in reality, I do think we all just need to chill a little bit. Oh yeah. Most people have most kids have mothers. Most kids have mothers. And also, it’s not meant as an insult. No. I mean, it really, really isn’t. I mean, unless, well, there’s definitely douchebags out there who are gonna be like, you know. Which one of you is the mother? I don’t know.
David:
It’s a it’s a but I think it’s far more like you saying, like, the the assumption, listen, what the assumption is usually correct. Most people have a mother in their life, most people have a mom and a dad, most people are straight. Like, I I get it. It’s not offensive if you’re just assuming because you’re, you know, using the statistical knowledge.
Gavin:
And I was talking to a friend who s who is uh who is a woman but is not a mom, who said, you know, I ha I have a I’m part of a strong community of people, and there are a lot of kids in my life, and I feel like I mother them. I am not the mother, but I see it as a holiday that I am mothering, and that translates to men as well. That we I mean, you know, obviously the term mother i is even larger than the role, frankly, I think. And we can all kind of take on the mothering role because it does mean nurturing and it does mean loving, and it does mean like come up and sit in my lap and but it also means have a frose and complain about your kids, which I did, so maybe I’m the mother.
David:
That is also true, right?
Gavin:
That is also true.
David:
That is exactly right. And yes. So I saw a really great TikTok, which is literally my entire life now, uh-huh, and um, it was about porn, and and it was about I’m familiar. I mean I’m not familiar. I mean I’m whatever. Yes, uh-huh. And it was it was at first, it was like, you need to talk to your young children about porn, and I was like, you know, but it was really good because it made me kind of go, okay, wait, what is she saying? And it was really fucking smart. And she was basically saying, you need to start hard conversations around porn now at three, at four, and and obviously age appropriate. And so that was my confusion. I was like, how do I talk to my three-year-old about porn? And she was really smart. She was like, You talk to your kids about holding hands in the street, right? Remember, every time we go in the street, you know, and she was saying, You need to start having that conversation about when they’re on the internet, on the browsers, there are parental controls and stuff, but like it doesn’t always work. So the thing that she said I thought was so smart was she was like, in the beginning, you say, Listen, there are good pictures and bad pictures, and if you see a bad picture, make sure you tell a parent, you know. And so the beginning of that, I was like, that is so smart. Because my greatest goal in life, besides um uh my kids moving out of the way. Drinking per se, yeah, yeah. Um is yeah, exactly. Um, is to raise kids with good judgment because I can’t tell them how to think, and I don’t want them because there’s too many things out of my control. I want to have them to have good judgment. So to start now with good pictures, bad pictures, what scares you, what doesn’t scare you, is was really smart. So thank you to that TikTok lady. Um, I it was not something I ever considered. But now I’m like, that’s a really smart thing. Because my kid’s on YouTube, and like, listen, he’s always watching these stupid fucking videos of like people pushing Play-Doh through random things and random, squishy sounds. But like, inevitably, he may click a link. You know, you know, you never know how it goes, and you want him to be able to go, Daddy, I saw this bad picture. And I was like, great, let’s talk about it, let’s let’s not look at that again. Um, so anyway, I thought it was a really smart, smart way of uh dealing with that.
Gavin:
Here’s a great moment for a PSA also that I heard about TikTok, which is essentially the algorithm goes south after 15 minutes. And so you might want to hold on to that. That by you, David, you need to hold on for 15 minutes, and then by 16 minutes, you’ll be seeing more porn in how to build bombs and kill people, right? Which is, I know your jam. But um I have actually um I’m whittling back my daughter’s TikTok time where um it triggers my phone to say, can she have another 15 minutes? Which I think it’s interesting that it auto it it defaults to 15 minutes, but I’m trying to get it down to she’s gonna watch it, and listen, I fucking love TikTok. It is there’s so much creativity on there, it is so entertaining, etc. etc. But after 15 minutes, it can go south. That’s literally where the algorithm starts to go south.
David:
No, 100%. Like my my TikTok feed most of the time is like baking videos and guys dancing without any underwear on, so you can see the dick flopping around. But one time, I don’t know how it happened, I got onto cartel TikTok. I got onto videos of bodies floating in rivers with like snitches get stitches kind of shit. Like it was fucking terrifying. So I was like, I had to make a point to like watch really benign videos for a while to like reset the algorithm. But TikTok will the get you. You watch a video for too long, it’s like, oh, you like this now? And you’re like, no, no, no, no, I swear to God, I don’t like this anymore. It was an accident. It was an accident.
Gavin:
I just put the phone down to go fill up my frose, and then suddenly I’m watching cartel death videos. Um well, and also along those lines though, um, when my kiddo was, I don’t know, maybe I think we’re still talking like five or so, he was playing those benign games. Uh like, I don’t know, it’s just bouncing the ball around free games, right? Because I’m a cheap motherfucker and I don’t want to spend too much more money to give too much more money to Apple. So I’m fine with him like downloading free shit. Well, you know that those go quickly south because then there’s ads for other games where you’re where literally I was sitting with him one time. We were we were, you know, uh uh it was side-by-side play on my phone and his iPad, and he’s playing a game, and then suddenly I hear uh and I look over and I’m like, what the hell? And it was an ad for a game that was animated, basically sex. I mean, they were clothed, but it was a dude chasing a woman. I mean, you want to talk about rape triggers right there. It was a dude chasing a woman, grabbing her, and even though she was like into it supposedly, but my kid immediately slammed it down and he looked away, and I god, I hope it wasn’t just because I was there sitting with him and that he doesn’t actually um uh watch it when that comes up. But then I started to realize this ad is popping up a lot. So and it’s just an ad. And so anyway, so there’s there there’s there’s there’s where we need to talk about the good pictures and the bad pictures and the um holding hands in the street and whatnot. And you gotta be um literate because we in our puritanical society that is so afraid of sex and yet obviously very s pro-sex behind closed doors, we need to talk about it in age-appropriate ways as soon as possible, because the world’s a dirty place.
David:
Like you said, like that was an ad for a game which is hiding behind the idea that, like, oh, this is just animated, it’s just fun. And you can’t explain to a five-year-old consensual non-consent play, and she was consenting to not like you that is that is what it’s just gonna look like, oh my god, that man was attacking her and their clothes were off. So that yeah, that’s really frustrating. That I and I think I know what ad you’re talking about. I hear a rumor. I I think I know of of what you talk about.
Gavin:
Wait, let and before I I know you you’re Jones in to get past the porn, but let’s stay on porn for just a little bit. Oh, yeah. It was uh this was one of my absolute parenting losses. Where a couple of summers ago, I thought, you know, maybe I should check my daughter’s um browser history, right? I mean, how embarrassing that I don’t know, who knows how long she had had an iPad, but it was more than a year before I was like, hmm, I wonder what she’s actually searching up. Well, it was she was looking up a certain well-known Broadway diva’s boobs. Wrote in the name and boobs. Was it Bernadette Peters? I will say that there were no boobs to be found from this famous person. Oh man. Um, Bernadette Peters adjacent. I don’t think she was looking for these specific things, but it devolved from famous Broadway woman’s boobs to uh how to have sex to Lisa Simpson fucking mill house with a dildo. What? Which was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I know they weren’t looking for that very specific image, but that’s what it came to.
David:
Listen, if if anybody has ever gone on Port MD and just clicked like like suggested videos, you can find yourself in a very scary place really quickly. You just wait.
Gavin:
You just wait, it quickly goes south. It gets worse from there, dude.
David:
Gets worse. I knew it was coming. I knew the just you wait was coming. So let’s move on to our top three list today. Our top three list was sent by a listener. It’s our first one ever. Um, our listener, Josh. Hi, Josh, out there. Um, this week’s list is the top three movies you wanted to share with your kids before you were a parent, which I thought was a kind of cool list. Um, and then as I was listening to it, I was like, well, this is just my favorite movies. So 100%. So uh in number three for me is Christmas Vacation. Now, this is a family tradition in our family of watching this a hundred times during the holidays. It is also the only movie that still consistently makes me laugh out loud because I just love the comedy in this movie. And so I’ve always imagined like it’d be so fun when my kids are older to watch them laugh at this movie as if it was new. So number three, Christmas Vacation. Uh number two, as problematic as the author is, the Harry Potter series. Obviously. Harry Potter captured a magic in me that I think it captured in a lot of people. And that is one thing I I want to see my kids experience is the kind of magic world that the Harry Potter series creates. So number two, Harry Potter. And then number one, when they’re a little bit older, uh, it’s my personal favorite movie, and um also going with the magic theme is Contact. Contact is my favorite movie of all time. And really, yeah, I I just I’ve always loved the kind of battles between religion and science. I love um, you know, the the galaxy and the universe and s and and and you know, all the things that come with it. Um and and it’s just an exciting movie about like, you know, life on other planets and all that stuff. So um uh and also our favorite on-screen lesbian of all time, Jody Foster. So um I I I hope someday my fascination and love with the stars and the universe and all of that um comes to my kids. Um, and so that is number one for me contact. What about you? What are your top three movies?
Gavin:
Well, I am gonna take a little more of a cultural trek because I have to say this this immediately makes me think about if you were on a deserted island, what are the three things you would take with yourself? Then again, I don’t think I would take these, but my kids consume so many movies and so many bad movies and so many seemingly made for TV, but in this case made for Netflix or made for Hulu or whatever movies that are just so fucking terribly mediocre. And so I do want to force feed some culture to them and be like, these are epic movies with great storytelling that you should be able to reference because in your life, you’re if somebody says to you, uh, for example, Gone with the Wind, you want to have some cultural association for knowing what they’re talking about. Even if you hate the movie, whatever. You can I don’t want you to double-task it, but Gone with the Wind comes to mind only because I think I’ve seen it once, and but at least I’ve seen it and I know what it was about. So, anyway, that is not one of my top three, though. Um, number three is E.T. Oh. I guess I have to see E.T. Yeah, that’s a good one. I’m making myself very 80s-ish. That’s a good one. But because of course I want them to see Back to the Future and Star Wars and and all of and Readers of the Lost Ark, etc., etc. But E.T. is a great one, though. It’s got kids. I want them to see the whole canon of the 80s um classics. But E.T., especially because it holds up, and we have watched it, and they were fine with it. They were fine with it, you know. Um number two, sound of music. Because I just think it’s a cultural touchstone.
David:
Well, also, I know you I know it’s Nazis are very important to you, and I I know you want to introduce that to your children.
Gavin:
We are we’re deep in the white supremac studies of white supremacy, so number two, sound of music. And then um number one, clue. Clue? Because I want them to love clue the way I love clue.
David:
Steven, can I tell you something? I’ve never seen clue. Never want to.
Gavin:
Are you now? Is it just a pr on pr a principle of yours that you’re just gonna be anti-clue because the entire musical theater world is so obsessed with clue?
David:
No, I just it’s one of those things that just it it’s like Oklahoma. I’ve never seen Oklahoma. Like somehow I’ve missed this huge thing. And and at this point, like, what’s the point if you’ve been watching it?
Gavin:
Oh, come on. You well, let’s watch it together. Let’s zoom side by side and watch it.
David:
That could be maybe a little sidecast we do is like us watching together. Right. Just you wait. Just you wait, David F. Bond. I knew you would fucking say that. Okay, so next week, our list for next week top three hottest murderers. Oh, likey. Because murder is hot. I don’t think murder is hot, but some murderers are super fucking hot.
Gavin:
Okay, thanks for yes, thank you for uh correcting my grammar and context. This is my syntax there. Hi, puppy.
SPEAKER_00:
Okay, I either put them outside or let them get used to me talking. Let them get used to me. Okay, they’re loud as fuck. And hi!
David:
I haven’t seen you in so long. We were just talking about you, and like, oh my god, it’s been too long since I’ve seen your face.
Gavin:
Yes.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, like I’m perimenopausal now.
Gavin:
Oh, what does that mean? That means.
SPEAKER_00:
But like before the real shit show is just another shit show.
Gavin:
Oh, wow. Now, is there uh I feel like uh more and more of late, I have heard women of let’s say our age talking very bluntly about being perimenopausal. And it seems to me that like my mom would I imagine my mom’s generation would have been like, oh no, I mean, what are you talking about? That’s talking about my ladybits, and I’m not gonna do that. But but now people are just like, hey, social media it up, I’m in I’m in menopause.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I will tell you that the entirety of anything that was ever told to me by my mother about anything having to do with my body at all, anything, was the pads are under the sink. That was it.
David:
You’re like, I scrape my elbow outside, and she’s like, the pad’s under the sink. You’re like, mom, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
SPEAKER_00:
Nothing. And now I’m like, fuck this. Shit’s happening. I got fibroids and I’m fat, and I can’t stop being fat. And I’m a bitch because guess what? There’s no reason. I just am.
David:
No. But that’s who you are. That’s not paramenopausal. That’s just Danette. Thank you. Well, um, we didn’t get to intro you, but I think this is the way we’re gonna get into this interview. Danette Holden is our guest this week. And she’s perimenopausal. And she’s perimenopausal. And she’s an actress and a singer and a dancer and a mom and an author now. She’s now writing a book here, is it?
SPEAKER_00:
I mean, I’m trying. I will say, I don’t think it sucks, but I don’t entirely know. It’s it’s historical, it’s historical fiction. I actually started a game when I was swinging Annie.
David:
And so wait, so that’s how you guys know each other, right? You guys met when you both were doing Annie on Broadway. Which was 10 years ago. How did that happen?
Gavin:
You guys are so old.
SPEAKER_00:
But it was when I was not perimenopausal.
Gavin:
You were not perimenopausal. But you were, um, I love being able to point out there’s a beautiful moment in Annie. If people have seen um the movie, I don’t believe this even exists, but in the Broadway show, um, there’s a character called the Star to Be, which is supposed to be, you know, a 17 year old girl who gets off a bus and sings N Y C and has a Big old money note, and it people have gone on to have huge careers just by having been the star to be. And Danette, I believe, on her 40th birthday was the star to be. On her 40th birthday, and fucking nailed it, I might add.
SPEAKER_00:
Thank you. I thought I was being punked. I swear to god. Because like I was like the second. No, no, like I was like, the the the you can.
David:
You were the emergency cover. Like they were like, when when everybody is dead and it’s just zombie apocalypse outside, then Danette can go on as the star to be. And that happened that night. Yeah. On your 40th game.
SPEAKER_00:
And I did. And I loved it. I I, you know, the thing about my voice is it might not be all that distinct. Like I might not sing something and people go, oh, that’s Danette singing, but I can sing anything.
David:
Uh-huh. I would actually disagree with you. If I heard even you sing or speak for one second, I’d be like, that’s Danette Holden. But maybe that’s just because I know you very well and I know your voice really well. But the I I would have paid$482 to see you pop onto that stage, fully beat for the back row, giving your best 17-year-old impression at 40.
SPEAKER_00:
So this is what I this is how I do it. I was like, and why seek out here in the 90s, had a couple of kids gained some weight. I mean, I had like a whole backstory going.
Gavin:
That is amazing. Yeah, it was awesome. So have we officially introduced introed you? Danette, hold on. Welcome to Gatriarch. Thank you for joining us.
David:
Thank you for joining us. Very excited.
Gavin:
There’s a whole raft of reasons that we wanted to have you here, not the least of which is that you’re a bitch and you’re perimenopausal and helping us. Wow, I that is a tough word. It’s not something that comes out of my mouth very often. Gaven’s also been drinking Frozenies all morning, so I have been. And peri, I’m all about getting around stuff, but uh menopause hasn’t been something that comes out of my mouth very often. Anyway.
SPEAKER_00:
Here’s the thing that sucks about the word perimenopausal. Do you really want to put that word on women who are already fucking angry? You’re gonna make us say it like that?
Gavin:
No. Well, you are, and you’re doing it well. So uh tell us, Danette, um, let’s let’s let’s let’s start out on a serious note, okay, shall we? Oh, here we go. How were your kids assholes today?
SPEAKER_00:
Oh, um, my kids are it’s probably the entitled thing that makes my kids assholes today. Well, the very first thing is that somehow I’m required to wake up in the morning at 6.38, like no later than 6.38, because I have to drive them the half mile to the bus stop. And even though Archer can drive and has a car, sometimes he just doesn’t want to. He’s like, he’s tired, you guys.
David:
Wow. Wow. I’m really tired.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, and and I don’t know if you know this. My two teenage children, neither one of them have hands, and so they don’t know how to put toast in the toaster.
David:
Well, Jeanette, maybe they’re perimenopausal.
unknown:
Yeah, yeah.
David:
Did you ever think about that? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, and being entitled, ex the expectations are very high.
Gavin:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, is this all your fault? Uh, because you uh have been waiting on them hand in foot for the last 17 years, or is this just generational? How do we get over it?
SPEAKER_00:
Okay, I think it’s twofold. First of all, my sister and I call it spreading fairy dust. Like fucking fairy dust all in front of my kids. My kids are walking down the street and I’m fucking throwing fairy dust out in front of them, like, oh, I hope you don’t get touched by anything negative in the whole wide world. I mean, there is another le it’s like next level bulldozer parent. But it’s not bulldozer because I’m not bulldozer because I’m not making them do anything. Like, I’m not, I want them to spread their wings and do whatever they want. If you want to be an artist or if you want to be a gardener, if you want to mow lawns, if you want to be a doctor, if you whatever you want to do, you want to move to Paris, do it. To get you there, though, I’m gonna spread the most miraculous level of fairy dust in front of you so that your wave is paved for you.
David:
It sounds like you’re trying to make them gay. You’re just spreading fairy dust in front of your children, desperate for them to become homosexual.
Gavin:
If only you could be so lucky, huh?
SPEAKER_00:
I used to beg David Eggers and uh Eric Scotto to adopt me. Because my parents, I came from, you know, the shit show of heterosexual parents that.
David:
Oh, I’m sorry for your law.
SPEAKER_00:
It was like a Hallmark movie. My dad left my mom for her best friend when I was two. Oh, yeah.
David:
I mean, it’s like the biggest shit show kind of Was there like a Christmas tree farm on the line?
SPEAKER_00:
Oh my god. Yeah, right. No, it was like, yeah, kinda, kinda, like that he moved my two stepsisters who were the same age as me and my sister into the house that he designed and built with my mom. And I mean, I kid you not, it was like a lifetime movie.
Gavin:
Wow, wow. And you’re like, I if only I could just be with the gays, then I don’t know, everything would be so much less drama.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, yeah, less drama with the gays. They’re known for being less dramatic.
David:
Yeah, real less dramatic and not judgmental at all whatsoever with the way you look or dress. Yes. Right. Wait, speaking of fairy dust, can we go, can we talk about a little bit how you and I know each other? You were a professional fairy, if I may say. I mean, I’m a professional fairy too, but it’s a little bit different. Right. You were a professional fairy. You and I met doing uh Shrek the Musical on Broadway, which is honestly how a lot of our guests uh uh have have known me. But the what I thought was so fucking incredible was on day one of rehearsal for Shrek the Musical on Broadway, you popped in with an infant in your hand. Okay. And you were like, hey guys, just had a baby, see you soon. Tell me a little bit about that. Tell me about how when when did you have your baby before rehearsals and when did you start?
SPEAKER_00:
So I had my my due date was the day we were gonna start rehearsal. That was my due date, but I had done the workshop in the fall previous to the six months later, and I was three months pregnant by the end of the workshop, which was like December.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:
So I knew I was pregnant. I told them on the last day of the workshop in New York. I was like, I’m pregnant. And they were, to their credit, wildly happy for me. Just super, super wonderful. Dreamworks, the entire like Bill Damashi, all the way down, super kind, Jason Moore, all of them. And then I literally I remember being in labor with Ellery. The labor was awful, it was 24 hours, and I kept saying, Don’t cut this motherfucker out of me. I’m having this baby because that’s six weeks. You can’t like having a C-section, you’re fucked.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
So and I was like, I have to start rehearsals like tomorrow. And then the doctors were like, uh, it’s you’re probably gonna be fine, but like, are you sure? I was like, yeah, don’t just I’ll suffer through Chris was like, I’m gonna just take a nap. A little bit. I was like, uh-huh. Anyway, I had her, like the Carolyn Awkert, uh-huh, my the swing, stood in for me for like a week of rehearsals, and then I showed up at rehearsals in New York, like literally breastfeeding pumping.
David:
No, you literally showed up week, you showed up day one with the baby, and then that’s true day the first day of the second week of rehearsals, you were like, hey guys, I’m here, and all of us like, are you fucking kidding me? And you just took your titty out, you had some milk sucked out a little bit, and then you flatball chained all over that room. It was so incredible.
SPEAKER_00:
The entire run, New York run, I pumped at intermission. Yeah, everyone.
David:
I remember. Yeah. If you guys haven’t seen a fairy godmother with her titties out getting milk sucked out of them, then you haven’t lived.
Gavin:
Were you able to breastfeed in costume, or did they say, no, sorry, you need to be out of costume for that?
SPEAKER_00:
They built my costume, Gabe, and I shit you not. They built my costume. I don’t know if you can see me, down the sides like this. They had like, you know, like a crisscross shoestring thing that can open and close according to how tight you tied it, and I would pull it down and then have to tighten it because your boobs go down, right? After pump? Boobs smaller people be literally. I remember Greg Ruder be like, You I need to pump.
David:
Because your tits were huge. But but so so I know they still I think they still rent those costumes every once in a while. So the next person out there who is wearing the fairy godmother costume, just know Danette’s titties were in and out of that thing non-stop.
SPEAKER_00:
With like milk.
Gavin:
That’s amazing. And and you were then and you’ve been sprinkling fairy dust ever since then. Then also you and I had a very, very uh memorable interaction in Annie because I, my second kid was born during that show, and it was uh, and I at the time, when when when uh when my younger kid was born, I already had a 19-month-old, so we were walking around in a haze of incredible fatigue, just walking into walls, and um and and so many diapers and everything, my partner and I were just really going through it at that time, gratefully, of course. And I just but I do remember um thinking to myself, wow, it was a great time to be employed on a Broadway show because I could kind of like just walk through it because I’d been doing it for six months, so let’s be honest. And it was a little bit of a break, I bet, from your kids. Oh my god, it was the best time to have a baby because I could leave the kid at night and be like, thank god I’m getting out of here and go. But there was a day that I walked in and I’m like, Danette, I need I need some time in your office. And we found a stairwell. Yep. We found a stairwell. And do you uh do you remember? Oh how do you finish that story?
SPEAKER_00:
I remembered it was the Judy Garland stairwell, right? It was like the Judy Garland Star at the Palace Theater. You were having a full-on mental breakdown. Yeah. Like you were having like, I fucking hate my life. What have I done?
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And why am I doing this? And how do I get my old life back and throw these kids outside?
Gavin:
Yeah. And and I thought, I thought I was going to start crying. And I bet you thought I was going to start crying, just from the incredible from from it all, right? You have a newborn and a 19-month-old. We went into the stairwell, and I remember looking at you thinking, I can’t even cry. I’m so tired. I can’t, there’s nothing happening. I don’t even feel emotion, but I feel the need. You’re empty inside. You’re a parent. Yeah. Empty inside. Inside. It gets so much worse. I just you wait. I get I was empty inside, and but you said, you gave me the term, does your core hurt? Like, like inside you’re empty, but it just hurts inside. And I’m like, thank you for seeing me. Thank you for seeing me. That was a moment that got me through for real.
SPEAKER_00:
So I remember that moment vividly as well because I thought to myself, I was so like, I was like three or four years removed from that. And so I was I remember, and I just remember feel I felt so deeply for you. Like my empathy was like visceral because it was like the pain that you were in, and I there was nothing I could do to take it away. But I could tell you that I’d felt it before.
SPEAKER_01:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And I understood. Yeah. I remember, I remember right after Archer was born, my first, I was sitting on the toilet. Chris was like brushing his teeth, and I was sitting on the toilet, and I remember I was like, It’s never gonna be this game. And Chris, like in all his wisdom, was like, I know it’s gonna be better. And I in all my I was like this.
David:
I know But there’s something to be said about being able to just say something to a person who fucking gets it. Yeah. Even if they’re like you said, there’s nothing I can do. This will change nothing, other than I’m saying it out loud to a person who I’m not afraid of them being like, Well, why don’t you just sleep when the baby sleeps? Yeah, or saying something, something really fucking stupid. Yeah. But like just to hear have somebody hear you say, I feel empty inside, and I don’t know if I can go on and then just go, yeah, that’s sometimes enough. Yeah. When you have that, those first three months we talk about all the time. So I have a three-year-old and a one-year-old, so I’m on the younger side, but still, I I’m far enough removed from those three months, but the trauma of it lives in my head of like that month two and three, I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. And it’s hard to explain to non-parents how empty you feel at that phase of your life. And then on top of that, you’re in a Broadway show, you’re working eight shows a week. I mean, like, I I and so Danette, I don’t know how you did it. This was your first or your second kid.
SPEAKER_00:
Ellery during Shrek was my second kid, so I had a two-year-old and a newborn.
David:
Like, how did you do a two-year-old, a newborn, breastfeeding, and also not only being in a Broadway show, we were in rehearsals for the out of town, which for those of you who don’t know means way more work, way more mental. You’re not just like learning the steps and learning where you go, you’re doing steps, and the choreographer’s like, maybe try this. So it’s this developmental, thoughtful process that takes so much more of you. How did you do that?
SPEAKER_00:
Um, I like to say I failed um at everything it felt like. I even still look back on that time period of my life, and by the way, that was like that was like the ugliest I’d ever been as a person, I feel like in Shrek, which is fascinating, David, that you even like me.
David:
Um no, I don’t. No, I don’t know.
SPEAKER_00:
Oh, okay, but then we’re then I succeeded in my life. It was like so, so, and just so you know, I commuted an hour both ways.
David:
Yeah, I mean I yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
So what I would do is I would I had the two-year-old, so that you know the and you remember the sleep schedules, right? The two-year-old has like one nap, and the one, and the newborn has like two if you’re lucky, but the toddler gets up at like six. So I would get home at midnight, take a shower, then I would breastfeed her at three in the morning, then I would, at six a.m. he would wake up, and we would go into the playroom, and I can remember like drooling on the couch, and I would be like, and I would put like Dora the Explorer on for Archer, and he would like ride, he would like drive his cars over my face.
David:
He would drive his cars over the dead face of his mother. I was dead.
SPEAKER_00:
I was a dead parent. Oh my gosh.
Gavin:
Do you think now in all seriousness, was it worth it? I mean, are you uh you were in a huge Broadway show, you weren’t gonna give that up, right?
SPEAKER_00:
Right.
Gavin:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
It was my it it was it technically was not my Broadway debut, but it really was because then my first Broadway show was the Jackie Mason show, which was I was the standby, I never made it to the stage, it closed.
David:
Never heard of it. Never heard of it.
SPEAKER_00:
Literally, it was the worst piece of dog turd shit in the whole wide world. Sorry. Um but you know, it is what it is. Um so I was originating a role. I well, I mean, so many things happened in this sort of uh global Shrek world of, you know, the fairy tale creatures were so important, sort of in the workshop, moving into it. And then you get out of town. I wasn’t sleeping. I had Ellery, Ellery was with me. She was a newborn, she was five weeks old when we m went out of town to Seattle. She slept in a drawer in the hotel room. She I had someone with me in a second bedroom that Sutton Foster gave me her two-bedroom literally gave it to me because there weren’t any more in all of Seattle.
David:
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And so she traded with me without telling me. She just went to the company management because I was having a meltdown. I was like, How am I gonna do this? I need like another adult human to live with me and help take care of my newborn. Well, and she literally went to company management and said, Gibbon at my my apartment, I’ll take the one bedroom. She had producers coming to see her, sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.
Gavin:
And she was also a Star to be in Annie. She was a Star to be in it. Look at how that comes full circle.
David:
Yeah. And and for the and again, uh I we we try to steer we uh steer clear of all the Broadway stuff on this show, but it always happens. Listen, this is this is how it works.
Gavin:
Well, Danette said she came in here with failure. Um she failed a lot, so she’s helping us fail.
David:
Totally, but but when you do an out-of-town of a new original Broadway show, when I tell you your entire life is that show, yeah. Uh I mean we worked from 12 to 12 every day, right? We would work from 12 to 6 rehearsing and learning new stuff. We’d have a dinner break and then half hour at 7:30, and then we’d have a show at 8 where you’d put in the new stuff, and you’d do your show till 11, you get home 11, 11:30, 12, and then you’d start all over again. And the next day you’d learn a new opening number and do new. And it is, it was that for months for us. It was it’s so exhausting. I cannot imagine putting a newborn on top of that and not have you break in half.
Gavin:
David, are you are you done talking about Broadway now? And can we talk about skincare? Let’s talk about skincare. Jesus. So, Danette, I have a feeling that you so your husband, Chris, who’s already been um lovingly referenced here as you were um peeing and crying, right? From back in the day. The reason you got pregnant, I hear. No. Well, he’s a dermatologist. And I have a bone to pick with the dermatology world or dermatological world, because I bet he’s behind some capitalist bullshit right now, which is my daughter is fed TikTok every single TikTok skincare every single second of the day. And she thinks that at 11 years old, she needs to have uh drunk elephant this and uh the body shop that. Does the body shop exist anymore? Um we are spending we’re not spending that much money because I finally put my foot down, but she thinks that she needs to take precautions now. And I’m like, girl, Danette told me all you need is some lubrederm and some sunscreen.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah. I will tell you, so I swear to God, I have two teenagers with teenage acne. I have me, who I’ve been on Acutane twice throughout my adult life. I’ve had serious skin issues. Uh people tell me all the time, they’re like, oh my god, your skin is so pretty.
David:
That must be hard for you to have people just coming up to you left and right, just stopping you in the streets. That’s gotta be hard.
SPEAKER_00:
I will tell you this though, guys, when your whole childhood was like, I can’t really hear it because my skin was so bad growing up that like it’s almost like if you were a fat kid and people are like, You look great because you’re a skinny adult, you’re like, you still feel like that fat kid inside. So I still feel like that like acne-faced kid. Let me tell you what. We our kids wash their face, faces with purpose, and then we use stenophil, uh-huh, lotion all the time. I sometimes Chris brings me samples of things, and I definitely think a retinoid, not for the 11-year-old, oh my god, not for the 11-year-old. For for perimenopausal people and people of our age, a retinoid is always good, but sunscreen is like That’s the key.
Gavin:
That’s the key, and just stop buying shit and watch out some things much more creative on TikTok than 13-year-olds telling you what skincare products they should be buying.
David:
Do you remember that song that played in the eight in the late 90s on the radio where it was just a guy giving advice throughout the very last thing is like, and don’t forget the sunscreen. Remember that what was that? Remember what?
unknown:
Yeah.
Gavin:
And it was just it was a college uh speech, I think. And it was then set to music, set to techno music. And and the his main message to all of the college grads or high school grads was, and don’t forget your sunscreen. Yeah. Good lessons there. Profound words. So, um, how are you dealing with, how are you keeping sane with your entitled teenagers these days, actually? I mean, aside from their entitlement, but um, is teenagerhood what you expected it to be? And do you have any advice for those of us besides just just you wait?
SPEAKER_00:
I nobody tells you. Like, nobody tells you. Like, I I think I read an article one time, my sister sent it to me. And exponentially, however many kids you have, exponentially is like there’s a percentage of how heavily you drink based on how many kids you have. So my sister has four kids, and she’s like, So I’m just like shit to the wind every day. Like, I’m just because how do you even get through it? I I people don’t tell you what parenting is.
David:
That’s why you’re on this podcast because we’re here to tell you what it actually means. Yeah, so I
SPEAKER_00:
Tried to explain it. I’ve tried to explain it to people. The emotional output is so depleting that depleting’s not even a word you can use. It’s so, you’re so far beneath, depleted of your emotional reservoir. You’re just you’re lucky to get your foot out of that fucking bed. And it’s not anything you can even point to, really. It’s that you picked him up for golf, you made sure she had her sunglasses, you put the sunscreen in her bag, you did-and that’s just one kid. And then the other kid, he’s not, you know, going over there and then he has to do math corrections on his test, and then you have to pick him up in the roundabout, but then you have to go around to the other side to pick it, it’s all of it. And you’re the one that’s like, you’re the fucking plates are spinning, and you’re like, oh my god, which one’s gonna fall at all times. And even though it’s fine when some of them fall, or you know, it’s fine in my house, we don’t care. Um you it’s it’s it’s the emotional for me, it’s the emotional output, and I don’t know how to turn it off and compartmentalize and uh don’t get just don’t give so much emotion. Fuck you. You can’t do that, you can’t, especially if you’re uh someone who has any kind of heart or emotion or soul or I don’t know, sensitivity because you’re so sensitive to the needs of the children.
Gavin:
Are they team members of your family or are they do they just take and take, or do they give and give too, don’t they?
SPEAKER_00:
I do have really good kids. I also don’t think it’s because of me. I think genetically, somehow, they’re mostly good kids. Like Archer’s seven, he just turned 17, so he just got his driver’s desk and he’s just driving. He like doesn’t vape or drink or drive, he’s not interested in any of that bullshit. He doesn’t, he’s not he’s uninterested in that bullshit. But he’s complicated in other ways because he’s stubborn as fuck. He does things his way. He well, if you guys actually, he you should have him on your podcast because he knows everything.
David:
Oh, that’d be helpful. That’d be helpful, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
And he’s unafraid to tell you that he has an opinion on everything.
Gavin:
Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
Good to tell you. He could give you an opinion on perimenopausal women, probably.
Gavin:
I I would imagine that that tree that apple didn’t fall far from the tree. There have been many times, Danette, that I believe that I have seen you as the Kool-Aid man bursting through a wall to give some advice as well.
David:
I have actually a solution for all of this. It’s the pads under the sink. So you’re welcome, folks.
SPEAKER_00:
Just we got it. You’re welcome. Okay. I’ll tell Archer. Yeah. Tell him the table.
David:
Tell him the pads are under the sink. So moving on to who cares about the kids? Um, moving on to you and your life. So the future. Now, now you have old slightly older children, they’ll be out of the house uh soon. You’ve always been a person who is also, you know, an actress and a singer and doing things. You are now writing historical fiction?
SPEAKER_00:
Uh yeah, historical fiction. Okay. I can tell you about it.
David:
Okay, so what are you gonna write?
SPEAKER_00:
I I can tell you about it. I will tell you though, that there was a time I hope for you, fervently hope, that you don’t go through the uh like a moment in time that I did, and I went through a real moment of time of where like, like, who who am I even?
Gavin:
Like well, don’t all parents do that at some point?
David:
Yes, I think we all do. I had a midlife crisis exactly that last week. A couple weeks. Yeah, that was a couple of weeks ago, and and my husband literally came down to the basement and I was just laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. He was like, Are you okay? And I was like, I think I’m having a midlife crisis. I was like, I don’t know who I am or what I’m but you know why? And this is this is the problem with artists, is that we tie a lot of our self-worth to our employment. And when when all of that fucking shifts, when when the ground shifts, when the pandemic hit, when this WJA strike is happening, you start to feel like who am I? Then then who am I if I’m not currently employed uh directing this or writing in a TV show? And I don’t know how to divorce myself from that. I think that’s part of it.
SPEAKER_00:
I think that’s I hadn’t thought of it, but I think you’re absolutely on to something. I because the minute I stopped, like Cagney was sort of the last thing I did. It was the off-Broadway show I did, Cagney, and it was wildly successful, and then I remember when they moved on to do it again in Utah or something, they did they wanted to expand the cast, and I was so I mean, I was beyond hurt by that. No, we had done the really good New York run of it anyway, and the the I saw you do it.
David:
You were brilliant, you were brilliant.
SPEAKER_00:
Thank you, thank you. I I I believe that that was the correct tactic for the telling of that story, which was like somewhat 39 steps-ish.
David:
Yeah, small, everyone plays a bunch of different roles. I mean, like you were you were hilarious because you were playing these really hilarious, funny, over-the-top characters, but also full-on giving full tap dancing uh realness. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, like nobody would really want to see me tap dance anymore. Like, I’m a little bit too old and a little too fat.
David:
But I would like to see you do a 17-year-old getting off the bus in Manhattan. That would be really interesting.
SPEAKER_00:
I can do it. Um, but yeah, they don’t they the who are you becomes this like thing. And I’ve and I was like, I can tell you what, you guys, I have zero, zero um push, desire, ambition to put myself in an audition room again ever. And I feel sad about that sometimes because I do, you know, I love to sing, it’s part of who I am. Like you were saying, when you’re an artist, it’s who you are. But I’ve tried to figure out how can I focus, and it’s taken me four fucking years and a farm later, to figure out that I want to like, I think I want to channel my creativity in a different way. So I’m picking back up this novel I started when I was an Annie, and it’s historical fiction, it’s set in like the Civil War, and you know, people in England, an opera singer in England comes over to the north during the Civil War, but lands in the north. She’s in the theater, she’s one of the actors in the theater at the Ford’s Theater when Lincoln is assassinated, and that’s oh I like it.
David:
I love it. That’s the you know what also I think that yeah, that’s that’s really that’s that’s super fascinating. I think also in a positive way, part of the kind of wishy-washiness that we feel in like the who am I, what am I doing, is tied to the fact that you, all three of us on this call, we we were lucky enough to get to do all the things on our like be on the Tony’s, be on the Bravo show, originate like whatever those things are. So when you check that list, the kind of what if one day I blank goes away, and what’s left is the employment, the continued joy, it’s still joyful, but like maybe that’s part of it for you is like I don’t want to go back to an audition room because I got to do all the things already, and now I want to do a new thing that is exciting and different.
SPEAKER_00:
That’s definitely what it’s evolved into. Part of me has real guilt for not wanting to audition. But I and I also like I’m also in that stage, you guys. This is what you’ll come to as your children get older. You you really do you feel such joy when your kids start to have autonomy and find success on their own. Not I you’re you’re not quite there, either one of you yet. But like, and I love that we’re all in the three stages of right. So like watching your toddlers, you know, figure out colors for the first time, or draw in the lines, or things that are, or jump off a step and you know, do a forward roll, or those things are so but watching your children become young adults, and it’s gonna make me cry, but I’ve had like several people recently like drive their golf cards. My kid’s a golfer, Archer’s a golfer, he’s like a become a really good golfer. People come over on a golf cart and they’re like, Are you Archer Cassidy’s mom? And I’m always like, you know, you never know. I’m always like, Am I or should I not be? Like, I don’t know. What are you about to say? And on several occasions they’ve said that he is the nicest young man. He’s so kind, he loaned Jimmy Bob his putter and just like things that like you you you hope, my god, you so hope that you like raised your kids right. And when you get validation of it, it’s hard not to be like, what I did. It’s hard.
Gavin:
I mean, you can take some credit for it too. And you the the fairy dust, the fairy dust that you have sprinkled that drives you crazy, you just hope has set them on the path to be able to spread fairy dust for other people around them too. And it sounds like you’re on the that path. That’s true.
SPEAKER_00:
And my daughter is like, she’s almost 15 and she’s guys, she wears a rainbow fucking flag. I wish I could she if she could douse herself in the rainbow flag, it she’s an artist, she is so justice oriented, she has, you know, she does not, does not fuck up pronouns. It’s not in her DNA. She is she you know, she has her, she asked me if she could have a gay pride hat. Can she have a gay pride ear? And I was like, yes, yes, yes. Like, I’m like, God, you’re more pro-LGBTQIA than I am.
David:
Freeman even said this before you jumped on the call. He was like, is Danette a gay icon? And I was like, she absolutely is a gay icon.
SPEAKER_00:
What does it mean to be a gay icon?
Gavin:
The one who’s gonna laugh the loudest and be the raunchiest and classiest all at the same time with us.
David:
You’re the most elegant and the most disgusting concurrently.
SPEAKER_00:
That’s I feel like that’s totally me. Howlery is a little quiet unless she’s provoked. She’s she’s uh she’s just so justice, she’s so justice oriented. And you know, all of these kids are pansexual, asexual, bisexual, like they’re all the things, and I’m not kidding, they’re getting out of here. Transgender. They’re and she’s friends with all of them, you guys. And she said to me one day, she was like, I I she was like, I I really like being a girl. So I like that. I like being a girl. Um she was like, but I I don’t know what I am, you know, sexually. And I was like, here’s the really great news, Ellery. You don’t have to know, and you don’t have to tell anyone, and you don’t have to pronounce it out, you know, announce it to the world. You can just be Ellery today. Just I’ve never and I admire her so much because she meets people where they are on any given day. Whatever they tell her, they who they are on that day, is where she meets them. And it’s a it’s remarkable. Uh, we joke that she’s 65.
David:
The kids, the kids are gonna be okay. The kids are gonna be okay. And what’s wonderful is that you can also change your fucking mind. Yes, you can say your one. And that that’s what the kids are getting right, right? Everyone is can be all their own little uh subcategories. And then if they decide tomorrow that, yeah, I think I’m actually this, you get to change your mind, which is so great. Because we used to, you know, back in our day, well, not your day, you guys were from the like 20s or 30s, but when when I was a kid, you you know, once you said out loud you were a thing, you could never reverse that. And if you did, people were like, Well, you’re flip-flopping, you’re actually the thing. But now kids can can kind of find who they are at their own time, which is very inspiring. Danette, you are amazing. We’re obsessed with you, but we have to end our interview. It’s time. Already. Thank you for I know it it happens so.
SPEAKER_00:
I didn’t even get to tell you funny puppy.
David:
Tell it, tell us funny puppy.
SPEAKER_00:
Mommy, daddy, we close our door. Ellery have to go to bed, close the door, close the door, and I was doing it, of course. And Chris comes up the stairs after like three times. He’s like, I’ll do it.
Gavin:
Oh, please.
SPEAKER_00:
So I sat on the backstairs like this. Okay, you show me how it’s done. She had her doll, her funny puppy that she named Funny Puppy on the side of her bed. And Chris was like, Ellery, it’s time to go to sleep. He thought he was just gonna lay the law down, it’s time to go to sleep. She does it three times to him, and she goes in there one more time, and she’s like, Ellery, I am not kidding. If you don’t go to sleep, I’m taking funny puppy. She takes her hand and she looks him right down in the eyes and she flicks Funny Puppy off the bed. And Chris, who is the most level-headed human you have ever known, goes, Then funny puppy, go away. And then flies off on the back staircase was her open door, and the dog flies out the door and over the railing into downstairs into our living room. Funny puppy, go the way! I’ve never been listening.
David:
And with that, we bid you adieu. We love you, Danette. Thank you for joining us on Gatriarchs. You are a gay icon to us, and always remember the pads are under the sink.
SPEAKER_00:
I love it.
Gavin:
So, something great that happened to me just yesterday is I am actually on another podcast. What? I’m a double tasker.
David:
Are we in a podcast open relationship?
Gavin:
I mean, did we need to discuss that?
David:
I guess we probably should have had that discussion prior to us committing ourselves too.
Gavin:
I mean, if you’re gonna be if you’re gonna be in an open podcasting relationship, it is good to at least talk about it. Talk it out, talk it out. Okay, well, guess what, David? Um I’m uh in an open podcasting relationship with you, all right? Okay. I’m okay with that. I help out with a local podcast that talks about youth issues, big surprise, but it’s much more, let’s say, G-rated. And yesterday, uh well, yeah, yesterday we were talking about um uh trans visibility and trans support for kids who are transgender or, you know, wondering. And my co-host asked the the specialist that we were talking to, so why do you think trans issues are in the may uh in the news these days? And I almost bit my tongue to the point of feeling the blood because we are definitely, you know, G-rated, apolitical, etc. But I wanted to scream like, Because the fucking crazy right is making it an issue so that they will drive people to the polls. But this person was so diplomatic and led with so much love and compassion, saying, Listen, um, trans people are in the news, in our media, in our books, in our literature, in our in our worlds in so many fantastic ways. And we have so many transestors. Yes, new term that I had never heard of. Trancestors to thank for the visibility and acceptance that we are um uh experiencing right now. And there are those in the political world who um are afraid of that. And it was something great because this person could have gone for the jugular with so much anger and vitriol, but no, they were like, listen, it’s a good thing, and we’re gonna get through this because our transestors have led us to where we are, and we’re gonna get through it now. And I thought that was a really great framing of this issue in a non-combative, wonderfully welcoming way. And that was my something great this week. How about you?
David:
I’m not good at that. I got in a Facebook fight yesterday with a stranger. So listen, I’m I’m not good at holding my tongue for any reason. Um so my something great. So the uh like I said, I was on a work trip this past week. Um part of part of that trip was I was a mentor at a uh screenwriting retreat called Cinestory, and um, shout out to Cinestory. It was a wonderful time. It was it’s basically a it’s there’s a lot of screenwriting competitions out there, um, and this is one of them. But the kind of winners of the competition get to come to this retreat in the gorgeous mountain town of Idlewild, California. Um, and it’s a four-day weekend where like managers and agents and producers and writers and showrunners all come out there and they mentor these writers. Um, and it’s really just an excuse to get drunk in the woods, and it is just so much fun. It’s fun for like, you know, drinking and kikiing with people, but it’s also fun because uh unless you’re in a television uh room, writing is not often like a group sport, so there’s not like you know, when we’re in a Broadway show, all 90 of us who work in that show are all around each other all the time. So it’s a lot of kikiing and a lot of fun. Um TV can be can kind of feel segregated, and so it’s just a fun weekend of just being together and talking smack and and um and anyway, it was it was a joy. It was also the day before the WGA strike, and I just wanted to kind of shout out to the WGA, of which I’m a member. Um uh we are striking right now, um, and maybe we’ll do another uh deep dive into why we’re striking. Um it is a um it is a tough time for writers out there right now. However, and it’s an incredibly inspiring time because for the first time, for our first strike ever, every other entertainment union, SAGAFTRA, Equity, AyaTi, DG, all of the other guilds and unions are in support of us. That’s basically. Because what we’re striking for is a fundamental cornerstone issue that is going to kind of change how people are paid to make entertainment from now on. So, anyway, my something great is both Senory, which was a joy, and and thank you to Lissan and Colette, who head Cena Story and Leah, um, and also uh to the fellow members of the WGA and all the people supporting us. Um, I’m picketing almost every day. It’s exhausting, but it’s very inspiring to be um supported by that much love.
Gavin:
Keep it up and stay strong, because we need that creativity, we need that human expression, we need the dick jokes. God damn you. Here I’m trying to be helpful, but I can go for the dick jokes too, also. We need better written dick jokes, because you know AI cannot do dick jokes like David F. Bond can do dick jokes.
David:
Amen. And that’s our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments for David, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com. Gavin also is available at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com, I might add.
Gavin:
Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast on the internet. David is at DavidFM Vaughn everywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge after dinner on Fridays. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, and we will harass you next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.