Full Transcript
And then at number one, of course, and predictably Justin Timberlakes can’t stop the beat. Oh God. Can’t stop the feeling.
SPEAKER_04:
Okay, what’s your what’s at the top of your three lists? Is it Scott Joplin? George Gershwin.
David:
And anyway. And this is Gatriarch. So I drive my kids to school every day. And there’s daycare parking lot, right? And so the daycare parking lot where it’s like high fives happen, tears happen, there’s a lot of things that happen. Anyway, the this place, the daycare is in like an industrial park. So there’s other people going different places. And I’m at a stop sign and there are people crossing in front of me. It is not a four-way stop, it is a two-way stop, and then there’s like regular traffic. And I’m waiting for these two cars to pass so I can go forward. And the woman behind me fucking lays on the horn. And I look back in the rearview mirror and she’s like throwing her hands up in the air and she’s like, Go, asshole. You can see she is so mad. There is just her blood is boiling. And I’m like, what the fuck? And of course, because I am who I am, I’m like, okay, now I live at the stop sign. I’m gonna turn off the car. I’m gonna get, I’m gonna take a little nap. Like you, you have re messed with the wrong person. So then I wait for the next car, which is way too far down the road to pass. And she’s laying on her. I’m just so I’m just delighting in her rage. So anyway, I cross, she’s behind me. We’re going through this industrial park, cars are turning everywhere. She’s not turning. And then we get to the daycare and we have to drive all the way around the building and she’s still behind me. And I’m like, oh god. Panicking. Please tell me this is not a fucking parent.
Gavin:
So But she was being stupid. I mean, I’m surprised she’s sure, sure.
David:
But like clearly, she’s been screaming at me in her rear view mirror. I’ve been throwing my like, what? What? There’s cars, hands. There’s been a lot of discussion. So we have to, it’s attached to the YMCA. So we have to drive all the way around the building. And sometimes people park in the YMCA lot because we’re gonna go work out. She doesn’t park in the lot. She follows me all the way. And I realize this is another parent of a kid in the school. And we’re gonna park next to each other and have to get out. And somebody’s gonna have to say that.
Gavin:
And there’s there’s gonna be a scene. Unless she’s just a psychopath and she’s just following you to your destination.
David:
I would rather have that happen because it would be less awkward to be murdered by a stranger than to have to put children in while you’re like bitch. Exactly.
Gavin:
Hi, Michelle. I I hope little Thomas is doing well.
David:
Anyway. So what did I do? I parked my car and I sat there and I waited for her to go all the way in the building, take her kid in, come all the way out, leave before I got out of the car because I’m a what? A fucking coward.
Gavin:
And I was so embarrassed that she didn’t like give you laser beam eyes as she walked away. I mean, she saw you park. Yeah. Or she’s so delusional.
David:
I I don’t know, but I I basically hid in my car like a fucking coward. So so now I go to daycare. I know what her car looks like. Every day, I’m like, please don’t be there. Please don’t be there. Thankfully, she I think comes at a different time than I do. She leaves at a different time. We almost I’ve never seen her in my life. Um, but yeah, that was my my road range got checked, and I was like, oh, this is so fucking awkward.
Gavin:
There’s a teensy part of you that could have taken the high road and been like, you know what? Maybe she’s having a really hard day. Gave it.
David:
Have you met me? I’ve never taken the high road. Yes. You’re talking Michelle Obama here. When they go low, we go high. When they go low, I go subterranean. You’re Sarah Palin, not Michelle Obama. That is correct.
Gavin:
No, no. I mean, I don’t worry, I was not gonna blame you for anything. I like the idea that maybe she was having a hard day does not justify her actions. But also the fact that, like, if she was having a hard day, like if she’s so passive aggressive, she can’t clearly not aggressive enough to come over to you and go face to face, huh? Which is exactly what you were petrified of.
David:
Yeah, it gets a little awkward. But also, this happens every time I drive, there are people and there’s you know the throwing their hands out the window. Listen, I live in New Jersey. Like, this is what we do, right? Of course. Um, and and so honestly, the the moral of the story is I’m the problem. If this happens to me multiple times when I’m driving, I am the problem, Taylor Swift. It’s me. Um, but you know what’s not a problem? Tell me. Fall festivals and apple picking and hay rides.
Gavin:
Oh my god, you’re such a basic bitch and proud of it.
David:
So basic, but we did all the things. So um, it is officially November 1st today. Yep. Um the kind of like hay ride season is mostly wrapping up. And it is.
Gavin:
We’ve kind of it’s kind of peaked, but we can still get it in for a few weeks.
David:
I feel hey, so that’s what she said. Um, but I feel like the very that’s what they said. Um, but the very beginning of October, I feel like is the best time because it’s just started to get a little chilly, but the apples are still on the trees. I’ve I’ve waited till November a couple times to go apple picking, and they’re like, JK, we don’t have any more apples. So thank you.
Gavin:
You can you can rummage some off the ground that have already been eaten or thrown by terrors, like the terrorists that my children are when they want to pick stuff and just throw them. And I’m like, well, not paying for that, but oh well.
David:
But I’m I’m so basic. Like I I go to those places, and you know, we’re talking, we had, you know, corn mazes and hay rides, and there’s like um pumpkin chunking, chuh chucking, and all that kind of stuff.
Gavin:
Um like this is a full-on festival with competitions.
David:
But it’s the it’s the general store that gets me. I walk into that place and there’s so many homemade pies and and uh like independent companies making chips and all the fucking bullshit you buy at a farm stand. I leave there hundreds of like I have so many pies upstairs, it will blow your fucking mind. I I’m I’m just gonna be.
Gavin:
What are you gonna do with the are you gonna freeze the pies? How or are you just gonna you’re just gonna eat the pies?
David:
You drink, I I mean, I drink, you eat. No, it’s it’s it it’s more of like I I have like a slice of the pie. I feel too super shameful that I even bought it. I know I’m gonna keep eating it, so then I give it to a neighbor, and that’s how we process.
Gavin:
With one wedge taken out of it. Yeah. Now, fall festivals and apple picking. Okay, I grew up in Colorado. We didn’t have apple picking growing up, right? Um, what we did was we picked our own apples because we were farmers in 1876, because we were far homesteaders, right?
David:
But homesteading and mass shootings. That’s kind of what you’re doing.
Gavin:
Oh gosh, sorry, it’s not too much. Should I should I delete that? All three listeners. No, yeah. We get it. We get it. But um anyway, so um, it has been fascinating to me. Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention to apple picking until I had kids, right? And then also in tandem with the rise of social media, I’m like, did apple picking exist before 2007 when people just did everything for the gram? But the amount of every single person, family who has newborns think that they need to take their eight-month-old to an apple picking farm, right? And take all the pictures. Yeah, oh, I did too. I did too. But I’m like, it did people do this 20 years ago?
David:
Probably not. Or maybe they did it, it was like a like, but it is for sure like a thing. Like it is a thing you do in the fall. And I don’t think it was before.
Gavin:
Right. Was it an East Coast thing though? I don’t understand. Hey, listener out there, uh mom, message us, message us and tell us if people in New Jersey and Connecticut were obsessively and making an annual tradition out of going to fall festivals and pick um apple picking and whatnot.
David:
I never had when I was in Florida. And so that’s definitely we just had alligator wrestling and meth making and all that kind of stuff.
Gavin:
But not orange picking. Notice there is no Instagrammable orange picking.
David:
Um Halloween was last night. How was your Halloween?
Gavin:
I mean, girl, I’m a little hungover. Are you in a little bit of a diabetic coma? I’m uh well, no, just literally an alcoholic coma.
David:
Um That’s right. I forgot. I I that’s right, I’m the eater and you’re the drinker.
Gavin:
Yes, I uh I I do have to say Halloween gets more and more fun for me every single year because I am that guy who wishes that he was still in college. And luckily, in my very small town, we have a very fun uh main street crawl that is the whole town is out for it. It’s straight out of the Gremlins movie. I know that is so obscure, but you know what I mean, right?
David:
Or ETH is exactly what you mean.
Gavin:
Not E.T. I mean, E.T. was very suburban door-to-door. Ours is just a cute little main street and it’s just a it’s not a parade, but you know, the kids run wild and the parents pretend to keep up with them. But when your kids are 10 and 12, you’re like, eh, whatever. Text.
David:
That’s the that’s I think that’s been a new layer for me for Halloween, is like seeing it through a kid’s eyes is is one of the rare things that’s actually really fun that way. Christmas is the same way where it’s like, okay, there’s like an added layer here. Yeah. Um otherwise, yeah, fuck the kids.
Gavin:
But I still didn’t dress up because I am just a much, just a bit of a ball humbug. And um considering that a lot of my career has been dressing up in really nice costumes that cost, you know, like not$72 from Walgreens. Now I’m a snob, and I’m like, I don’t want to wear something from the store. I would rather just be comfortable, cozy, with a koozie in my hand.
David:
So I have a secret for you. This was this is what I figured out because everyone’s like, why aren’t you dressing up? And I feel the same way. I was like, I used to wear like$40,000 costumes. I don’t, I don’t need to wear your bullshit. And I don’t want to put paint on my face. So what I found was so there’s a company called Tipsy L’s, and you haven’t heard of it. They started with like funny sweaters. There was like a college guy’s they were on Shark Tank. Of course. And now they do kind of funny costumes for adults, basically, but they’re high quality. They’re really rare because it’ll be like, yeah, I’m dressed as a fucking potato, but like it’s actually it’s not that like weird fabric that’s like cheap that feels like it’s gonna spontaneously explode. So I bought one of these, it’s one zip, it’s a full, like a jumper, a jumpsuit with a hood, and it’s a skeleton, it’s all black, but it’s like got a skeleton painted on the front, and you can zip up the hood in your face, and then it’s like a full body thing, but it feels like wearing a swobe or a slang.
Gavin:
So you are your basicness in this episode is off the charts.
David:
We should do a like a warning at the top, like warning, Dave will be very basic, but it’s like literally like wearing a blanket, but you look like you’re dressed for Halloween, but it’s still coming, and then you just unzip it and walk out of it, and you’re done. It is the secret. Go to Tipsy Elves. They don’t sponsor the podcast yet, but go to Tipsy Elves, they’re expensive. Now, this thing was like a hundred dollars, but I’ve worn it four years in a row, and it’s it’s fucking great. Sometimes I just like sit around in it.
Gavin:
I was gonna say it must be jammies for the rest of the year, right? Jammies. Yes.
David:
I mean, look what I’m in. I’m I’m in a I’m in a like a cat throwing up lasers super hoodie right now. I do love that. And but and were you dressed up last night? How was your Halloween? I I wore the skeleton jumpsuit. Okay. Um, it was great. The one thing I think I talked about this last episode that annoys me about Halloween with kids is that you have to do two things at once. You have to take your kid trick-or-treating, which is fun and knocking on doors and they get to see it, but then you have to answer your own door and you’re gonna miss one while doing the other. And I really like handing scary kids because I like scared. Yeah, exactly. I like to scare a chance. Because you are a child. You are the psychopath, actually. I am the problem. Again, I am always the problem. But you know what’s not the problem? Tell me top three list.
Gavin:
Gatriarchs. Top three list, three, two, one. Sorry, that was a hat. That was literally a hat on the hat. So, yes, we’re our uh top three list this week is the top three songs that you put on for a family dance party. I hope that you are having the pleasure that I did when my kids were younger, which is lots of dance parties. Now my kids are definitely over it, um, unfortunately. Also, dance parties for us was usually just me swinging the kids around. And eventually I’m like, can you just not? Can I not be the one to have to like lift you and um shake your booty a little bit, you know? Shake your booty. So, in particular, post-bath time uh dance parties are really fun. So, anyway, for us, number three for me was Don’t nobody bring me no bad news from The Wiz. Oh, okay. Got such a great beat and stuff a little story arc. Not a brand new day, though. That’s surprising. No, no, no.
David:
You would think my new day was the dance one.
Gavin:
I know that’s an obscure one and didn’t even get a response from you, even. Number two, When Will My Life Begin from Disney’s Tangled. That’s my favorite princess song. Yeah, we made it. We made it work. It just doesn’t have a dance beat. I’m surprised that’s one of your dance songs. We still we, I mean, uh not anymore, but this is what uh we would often jam to that. And also, my daughter was in a serious princess phase. So that was uh a major song for us, and it turned into dance party songs. All right, and then at number one is Justin Timberlake’s Can’t Stop the Feeling. Because I mean, how can you not shake your ass to that song?
David:
Oh, it’s such a 100%. It’s so great. Such a great song.
Gavin:
Yeah, and it’s and it’s so good for kids, and it’s just kind of friendly.
David:
Anyway, yep. Uh all right. So for me, I want to just clarify that these are the top three songs that my kids like to dance. Like, this is not me choosing, this is like what gets them up on their feet and shaking their little ass.
Gavin:
You are really afraid of me judging you for your song choices here, huh? So you needed to make that disclaimer. That’s true. All right. I mean, mine was from Tangled. So that’s true. And had no beat.
David:
Okay. No, I feel good now. Um, all right. So in number three for me, Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance with Somebody. I mean, oh my god. It gets roll, roll gay in our house when that song comes on. We just all live our lives. So really number two, again, this is my kid’s bop. Okay, Baby Shark. Baby Shark still hits, it still slaps, whatever the kids are saying, it’s still got it’s not mid, it’s whatever the things are. Baby shark gets those kids up on their feet. Right on. Number one, and this is maybe because the gayness in my family, who knows why? But number one, the number one bop, the number one most requested song, fantasy by Mariah Carey. Yeah. I don’t even know what it is. You’re a gog. I don’t even know what that song is. You do. You’ve heard the song a billion times. You’re just not thinking of it. It’s like, it’s just a sweet, sweet fantasy baby. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh that it just old school too. How do we do that? Oh, it’s like 92.
Gavin:
It’s like you love that song, or how did they discover it and latch onto it?
David:
Every week when I drive the kids to school, it’s a six-minute drive, and then I play one song by an artist for the week.
Gavin:
Go back go back reference in episode three, four, or nine for that.
David:
Yeah, exactly. So, like this week is Harry Styles Week. So, anyway, we did Mariah Carey Week, and fantasy was one of them. And every day since my son goes, Can we listen to fantasy? Can we listen to fantasy? He it just stuck with him. I don’t know what it is. Um great. Um, so next week, yeah we’re gonna we’re gonna have a fun little game. Next week is the top three worst things.
unknown:
Okay.
David:
What are the top three worst things?
Gavin:
I mean, I feel like being your well, that’s close. I definitely go through life thinking about like this is just the worst. This is so tell me what the top three are.
unknown:
Okay.
Gavin:
I look forward to crafting this three seconds before I say it next week.
David:
Our next guest is a stand-up veteran who has definitely come across your FYP once or twice or 3,000 times because his hilarious takes on being an elementary school teacher and his infamous spelling test April Fool’s prank got him on the Ellen DeGeneres show. And now you can find him touring to a town near you. He is the co-host of the Social Studies podcast, and now he’s lucky enough to add guest of the Gatriarch podcast to his pedigree. Please welcome to the show, Joe Dombrowski. Joe, thank you.
SPEAKER_02:
Let’s talk about the term veteran. Like, honestly, I’m only 22, so that is really Yeah. It was an age thing for sure.
Gavin:
We’re very, very ageist on this show. If you uh, because you’ve I’m sure been a long time listener, you hear how much shit I get for being merely 72 years old. So come on.
David:
Anyway, yeah, that’s why you got your uh your your time for this and smoke signals because Gavin sent it over to you. Um well I just showed you thank you, Ventrick. This isn’t about you, Gavin. This is about Joe and him joining us on this show. Now, listen, you are not a dad, correct? I’m not a dad.
SPEAKER_02:
Not a dad, yeah.
David:
So you’re like aspirations.
SPEAKER_02:
Aspirations. Aspirations. You have aspirations.
Gavin:
You have daddy aspirations. Eventually.
SPEAKER_02:
Here’s the thing is I like so my fiance Morgan on our first date, we even asked each other both if we if the other person wanted kids, and we both knew that if the other person said no, that we weren’t gonna continue. That’s how much both of us have always sort of like known that fatherhood was in our path and like being gay wasn’t gonna be a hurdle for it. And then, like me being a teacher, people are are always like, Do you want kids? It’s like I I was an elementary school teacher for 10 years, like yes, but that could go one of two ways.
David:
That could also be like a very elementary school teacher. I absolutely not want none of these little fucking goblins near me at all times.
SPEAKER_02:
I’ve worked with a few of those, but that’s rare. I will say that is very rare because it is also a great profession for a parent.
Gavin:
All their breaks off you have off nights and weekends and summers and Christmas and and spring break. Yeah, that’s a sweet schedule for sure.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, it really is. It really is. So wait, you were a fourth grade teacher, right? I taught fourth for the longest time. And then so technically I’ve taught everything kindergarten to sixth grade, with the exception of first and second, are the only two grades that I never taught.
David:
And so, what was your favorite grade to teach?
SPEAKER_02:
Uh, kindergarten, hands down, was the time of my life. You it just like with every other profession, when you kind of start your career, you get pigeonholed into those skills. So I always wanted to teach kindergarten, but my very first job offer was fourth, and then I did fifth, and I did sixth for a little bit, and they always were keeping me in these upper grades. And then um I did a three-four split, third grade’s amazing, but then I the first time I quit because of the pandy wandy. And I I quit, and when I was on tour, and then the pandemic happened, and I lost all my tour dates, and I needed I had to go back to teaching for a school year. Um, and I had leverage, so I had experience and I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t just going to accept like a job they were like fifth grade. No, I went in specifically, told them I’m only accepting kindergarten. I’ve always wanted to do this. I know I’m capable of doing this, and that was the best year of my whole career.
David:
Wow. Is that because you feel the smartest over your students at kindergarten? You’re like, I know so much more than you fucking idiots. Girl, let’s be honest.
SPEAKER_02:
Fifth grade math, not for me. They were coming up to me, they’re like, No, how did I cross-multiply this right? I’m like, bitch, I just YouTube this yesterday. What are you talking about?
David:
Yeah, they’re like, if poppers come in a pack of six and you use two, you’re like, I can do that math. That’s the math I can do. I don’t know. I’ve never done poppers, but I know they’re great. Um, so no, but so that for those of you who don’t know you, and that’s impossible because everybody fucking knows who you are. But and they should, for sure. And they should. But let’s talk about why you kind of all of a sudden jumped on the scene, even though you’ve been doing stand-up for 13 years. Was you had this uh it was a TikTok, right? Initially, that was an April Fool’s prank. You did two.
SPEAKER_02:
TikTok wasn’t even around. It it actually over the 1900 video, it was the 1900s, it was actually chiseled in uh stone. Um I posted it on Facebook originally. Oh my god.
David:
He’s he’s Facebook old.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, but I gotta tell you this too, it was kind of crazy. The number one um uh question that I always get is like, did you was that a mistake? That video, and no bitch, I knew I knew exactly. What I was doing. I remember very vividly the last question before you publish it is do you want to make this public or private to just your people?
David:
I’m like, public? Man, I want to be famous, bitch. Let’s go.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah. When I grew up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grew up, is this song too young for you guys?
Gavin:
Thanks to my 12-year-old daughter. I’m familiar with those lyrics, yes.
David:
Gavin is more of like a George Gershwin, Cole Porter sort of world.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah. One of those. She just sits around the piano and is I got you. I know the title.
Gavin:
Hey, who doesn’t love a cabaret? Who doesn’t love a cabaret? Seriously.
SPEAKER_02:
But yeah, it was on Facebook. And I also hear here’s the one thing is I posted it um like algorithmically, everything was wrong. I posted it at nine o’clock in the morning. Terrible time to post, especially nine o’clock Eastern time. I didn’t use any hashtags. I barely wrote a caption. It was set up for failure. But that one little tick of making it public is what it what set it off.
David:
I knew it had to be. And then I said that. They’re like, it’s a bag. Um Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Did it does anybody say is he? Is that real?
SPEAKER_02:
Girl, you should read the comments. I I had to go in the next couple days, and some of these women were like trying it. I was like, honey, wrong tree. This is a red one, but this is not for you. Funny, funny, funny story though about that Rolaskatox part specifically. My boss was freaking out about all the articles that were coming out. And one one because they were jealous of all of these. First of all, first of all. But one of the articles that came out was starbooty.com, which is like a gay, like UK-based, like exposure.
Gavin:
It’s like Sean Cody where like where booty actually means something completely different in the UK.
SPEAKER_02:
And no that is, but okay, fine. Totally. But the headline was handsome gay teacher goes viral. And um that was the first article that came out that was straight up like he gay. So my boss called me into his office and he like pushed the article across the desk. He’s like, What do you think of this? And I was like, I think the UK thinks I’m handsome.
David:
I was about to say, handsome is the first only thing I heard in that whole thing.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, I was like, what the hell? I go, how many like FMLA HIPAA OSHA violations are you gonna break with this, sir? I will literally call Reverend L Show.
SPEAKER_03:
Literally?
Gavin:
Why do you have a subscription to Bootystar?
David:
Exactly, man. He’s like, he’s like, I saw this on Check Hunter. Can you explain this? And you’re like, I have a question for you.
SPEAKER_02:
So someone sent me this on Adam for Adam. Yeah.
David:
Don’t know what that means.
Gavin:
In the fallout from all of this, though, were you ever actually scared for your job or scared that people were gonna come after you, the parents and administration and superintendent?
SPEAKER_02:
Uh yes, big time. Yeah, my superintendent was not having it at all. Uh, and I here’s a little thing about me when you tell me no, I do it 10 times harder. So he actually um sent me a personal phone call when it all started to go viral, telling me that I was not to accept any press. And I was like, bitch, you pay me$32,000 a year. I’m accepting all press.
David:
All press. All press. There are free granola bars at those TV stations. I’m going to every interview. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:
Specifically, when Ellen called, he told me you are not to accept Ellen DeGeneres. And I called him back the next day and I said, I’ve already accepted. I was not asking for your blessing. I was calling to tell you I’m going. He left.
Gavin:
And you’re welcome for all of the press that I’m bringing to our school district. Bitch, is that not the goddamn truth?
David:
But also, you got$10,000 for your fucking class and$10,000 for yourself. So it’s like, bitch, what why are you barking at me? You just got cash. Come for me.
SPEAKER_02:
Check your lipstick before you come to me to quote Naomi Campbell. But he he called me. Um, he this is you want to hear about public school dollars wasted. Paid for a crisis intervention specialist to have a special meeting with me to prep me on how I am supposed to answer potential questions that could be asked on the show. I said I played the game. As if. I played the game. Yeah, I played the game. I was like, oh yeah, sounds great. If they I’ll I’ll deflect, blah, blah, blah. I went fucking to LA and I was like, bitch, this is my moment. And I made it happen. And he even had the audacity to say to me, he’s like, this is just your 15. Don’t get crazy about this. And I was like, 15? This, I’m a milk this shit, bitch.
Gavin:
Because I’m a public school teacher and I you give me no choice.
SPEAKER_02:
Could you believe that? Like, literally, I was like, literally looking at him. I’m like, you’ve been a teacher. You know I’m on to greener pastures with this. Like, the least you could do is say spread your wings and fly.
David:
Which is what’s so frustrating about it, is because there’s a lot of people who, when faced with that pressure, would have just been like, okay, I guess I shouldn’t do it. And and and then they don’t get to rise to something better. And what I so appreciated, and I was talking to you yesterday about this, was like, you’re like, no, no, no, no. Like, I am not going to let this die. I have 13 years of stand-up experience, and I’m going to leverage this for the next and the next and the next. And I’m so glad you did because you came into all of our lives and you’re fucking hilarious. And I’ve seen a lot of your stand-up just via your like Instagram stuff. And I’m for sure coming to your shows. But like that, it’s almost like if you had just been like, yeah, I should just know my place, then you would have just been so fucking miserable and your talent wouldn’t have been out there. No doubt.
SPEAKER_02:
And that’s a that’s a sad, sad teacher quality is so many teachers will just accept uh uh what’s happening rather than like standing up for it because teachers really, first of all, you get paid so little and it’s it’s risky to not make that when that’s what you’re making. And they the red tape and the hands behind your back at all costs, like it’s hard to use your voice and advocate for yourself. But the teachers who I’ve seen succeed most in and out of the profession are ones who believed in themselves and and doubled down on their on their own worth. And you know, and sadly, at the state of education, too, we’re not going anywhere until teachers come together and buck up to say this shit’s over.
David:
We got some time, but it will happen. So you were on Ellen many times, correct? You were on uh not just one time, yeah, two times, many as many. Um yes, but wait, so Ellen hasn’t been in a little bit of hot water lately, so that’s a little maybe of a separate tea, but like you were there. Do you have any like tea on Ellen? I do. I spill it.
SPEAKER_02:
Spill so first of all, when all of that started happening, they it was crazy how many like news outlets and things would reach out to me for like the cover story. And I’ll be honest with you, all of that bad press is not is the opposite of my experience. She, first of all, they brought me on the show, and you know, I was one of those segments where it was we found this funny viral thing, here they are in person. And so they straight up told me, they’re like, We know you’re a comic. This is not your last comic standing audition. We’re painting you as a wholesome teacher. This was a mistake, and now it’s viral, and here you are to get meet Alan. And I was like, happy to be here. Thank you for that moment. And and then they said to me, So this is her job. So if she doesn’t make extra time for you, or when cameras are off, if she just walks away to fix her hair or get a sip of coffee or do her makeup or whatever, just she’ll be back and we’ll continue rolling. And I was like, Okay, cool. So I’m sitting there and she greets me. I’m sitting in the chair, the cameras turn off for the first time, and I’m like, I’m not supposed to talk about comedy, blah, blah, blah. And the minute the cameras went off for our first commercial break, she turned to me and she goes, Hey, I heard you’re a comedian. And I was like, Yeah. She’s like, Well, I I saw some of your other stuff. She’s like, You’re very funny. And I was like, Uh, thank you. She goes, No, I don’t think you understand. Like, you’re very funny. You need to do something with this. And I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then the cameras turned back on. And I was like, I fucking love that. I love that. It lit such a fire under my ass to like go even harder. And I really owe those quick moments of encouragement to that. And then I actually went to her special taping as a fan because she’s filmed her most recent Netflix special literally two blocks from my house in Seattle. So it was my went and she recognized me, and they gave me the microphone, and she was like, the teacher. And I’m like, Yeah, she’s like, What have you been up to? Tell everybody where they can find you. And I was like, I’m actually about to go out on my first tour, and it’s because you said this to me, and everybody was going crazy. And I was like, This is bongs.
David:
Yeah. That’s amazing because you listen, I I have work, I work in television as well, and like there’s sometimes people who are really vocal or or aggressive, or like we need to get on track, can be painted as something bad. And they’re all also really bad people. But I so appreciate artists because it’s our job as artists, to pass things along, to to help people bring people over, but also to give a pay it forward, exactly. And like Ellen obviously is she’s doing okay. I think she’s doing fine. She can pay it forward. And I don’t mean like giving you$10,000 checks. I mean those little moments, like you said, lit a fire under your ass that probably would will affect your life more than$100. For the rest of them.
SPEAKER_02:
If somebody said, Hey, did you want the money or that moment that you had with her? I would always choose that moment that I had with her because it just was monumental. Like that was a huge mental shift in my thinking that pushed my career to where it is now and will continue to go. I think about it literally every day. It’s crazy.
Gavin:
So this is a beautiful story, and it’s wonderfully schmaltzy, and this is absolutely in my vein of gratitude. But can you also can we bring it back to parenting, which I know is somewhere in the future, hopefully for you, if you want it or if you don’t. But as a teacher, you have incredibly valuable insight to how not to raise an asshole.
David:
And Gavin and I have already raised through four assholes between us. So we need help. We need help.
SPEAKER_02:
I’ll say this, you know, for the for the most part, I want to say through my experience as a teacher that most parents are really true, most parents, not at all, are really trying their best. But I do have to say, from my 10 years in the classroom, never has a helicopter parent resulted in a good thing with the kid. Never, never once. Okay. Free range is best. Yeah, for total fair. Up to table. Yeah, fair up to table children. No, but I the kids who have helicopter parents, the kid would either turn out one or two ways. Either they are so codependent and they cannot function on their own, and their anxiety is so high, and they give up and and would throw a tantrum until you’re giving it to them, or they’re just so fucking mean and rude because they know their parents are gonna come to bat for them regardless of what other people are actually saying is going on. So, like it’s never never, and and I’ve had I’ve had some very difficult situations too with some students with some very severe medical ailments. Like I had a student who had a trach at 10 years old, had a trach. Wow, and couldn’t tie his shoes, but he’s 10 years old. And I had to say to the mom, the problem’s in the throat, not the hands.
David:
I’ve heard that before, but in a different situation. No. No.
SPEAKER_02:
No. But I I did have to tell her, are you gonna are we gonna coddle him for the rest of his life and he’s always gonna have velcro shoes? Are we going to always do bumper bowling because you’re not allowing him to, we’re not making him try? And those are how she was a major helicopter parent. And I get it, medically fragile, very scary. That’s your baby. I totally understand. But it takes a strong teacher or a strong advocate to be like, you’re coming from a place of good, but it’s actually in the long run doing harm. So we need to cut it a little bit right now because this baby’s going to middle school and they cannot be walking around with uh depends on. They gotta know how to wipe that ass, girl.
David:
Yeah, they got they gotta learn how to how to uh deal with a pack of teenagers saying calling you faggot, which was my entire middle school saying uh years. But so it does it does take somebody like you to be brave enough to risk put their neck out a little bit to saying something that to risk them going, how dare you say that? You don’t have kids, you don’t know anything. Like it you kind of stuck your neck out, but I think probably in a in a really good way. Did you ever have any parent uh kids with gay parents in your classes? Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02:
Uh multiple kids with gay parents, uh never two dads, always two moms. Um and you treated them differently, hopefully. I I actually am a lesbian, so lesbian moms and I were like a force to be reckoned with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were like thickest thieves. Were they super helicopter mommy, also? No, no, they were great. They were they were your buzzcut softball subaru outback, rescue pit bull, uh league of their own, lesbians. So they were very much like get messy, come back when you eat me. And I and I was like, I love it.
David:
You can’t slide in a skirt, yeah. Hey cowgirl, see the grass, don’t eat it. Yeah, very that. Um, so yeah, so uh you’re also getting married, like you said, to your wonderful uh fiance uh next year. I I am just curious where your where your mind is at. As somebody who has gotten married um to a gay person um and has experienced the gay industrial wedding complex, um, how’s it going? How’s that checkbook? Bobs, dramatic pause, pause, dramatic pause.
SPEAKER_02:
This is the busiest tour schedule of my life, and it is fully for this wedding. It’s unbelievable.
Gavin:
It’s just to pay for it, it’s just a pipeline from the seats into the wedding dress, huh?
SPEAKER_02:
It’s unbelievable. Now, here’s the thing. I David, I was telling you yesterday, Gavin, I haven’t told you yet. With my career, it is very me, me, me, me, me. Look at me all the time. Look what I’m doing. And I told Morgan straight up, I was like, yo, if you don’t need a wedding, a big wedding, and you just want to do immediate family, we head over to wherever and we just get her done. I’m so cool with that. And he’s like, actually, I do kind of feel like I need it. And I was like, okay, I respect it. That’s my life, not yours. Like, I can do it one more day.
David:
But fuck. Somebody gave me the best advice ever before I got married, my friend Justin. Justin, who was a uh guest on the podcast, he said, You’re going to feel both overwhelmed with the amount of love you’re getting and also cheated by the time you didn’t get to spend with anybody because you spend six seconds with everybody once, but then at the end of the wedding, you’re like, I didn’t see anybody, but then you got so much love that you almost feel like it’s it was too much. And he’s like, take five minutes, grab your groom, go into the bathroom, not for what you’re thinking, go to go around the corner and just have a moment where you guys just sit and just like take a breath together. That was the best advice I’ve ever gotten because the whole four hours of this whole thing that we did, I can’t really remember any of it, but I remember that moment. I remember that moment of just taking a second and being like, look how fucking cool it is. We have 80 people who love us who just watched us get married. We’re getting, we’re married right now. What the fuck? And we just like had a moment. You know what I mean? And then we went back to the craziness. But um, that’s my I’m gonna take this advice. I’m gonna take that.
Gavin:
So speaking of family and friends and people around you and loving you and whatnot, um, you also are one of our competitors um with your own goddamn podcast. Oh, great. Which probably I know you’re just on here to promote your own, we realize. Uh and I’m sure we’re in exactly the same category of podcastation, but uh you podcast often with your mom.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, so social studies is social studies is uh pure comedy with one of my other really good comedy friends, Gaspar Randazzo, but the one with my mom, totally separate. It’s called Let’s Watch TV, and we literally get phone calls from our fans, and they tell us uh they leave voicemails and tell us what to watch and why. And then we don’t care what it is, we sit and we watch it and we don’t talk about it until we get on the podcast and we just break this shit down. We are we are suckers for mind-rotting television. Oh yeah. Uh-huh. And when we when we get together and talk about it, unstoppable. You should see what we have to say about what’s that show. Oh god, what’s the one where they get married to people overseas? 90-day fiance.
David:
90-day fiance before the 90 days. Yeah. No, I’m I’m yeah, no, it’s fucking great. It’s was that when you were talking about Georgia? Is that when you were talking about Georgia? The Georgia. I clocked the bitch, did I not? You you you checked her with your elbow. That was hardcore.
SPEAKER_02:
It’s always this woman. I’m literally over here. Like, she doesn’t do she speaks into the podcast like it’s facts. I’m like, Fran, tens of thousands of people are listening to this today. You can’t just spew what you think is a fact as a fact. And then she’ll be like, on the podcast, she’ll be like, I look this one up. This one comes from mushroomsandwatermelon.com, superlegit.com http. And I’m like, bitch, this is fake.
David:
This is fake. They’re like, Did you know that Hillary has a a pedophile pizza basement? It comes from freedom.eagle. I get the newsletter twice a day.
SPEAKER_03:
Literally.
David:
I’m like, there’s a QAnon card. Let’s get, let’s get out of here. That’s gotta be so fun. I feel like if I did a podcast with my mom, my mom who is the listener, hi mom. Um she she it would it would break me. It would break me. My mom who who can’t pronounce Chipotle, right? Like, which is like a joke on the internet, right? Like, older like boomers can’t pronounce Chipotle. She can’t, and I’ve had 43 years of hearing Chipotle, and it it would send me over the edge.
Gavin:
But do you ever have to tone down her funny? I mean, is she funny? Do you coach her at all? Or are you like, mom, you’re upstaging me? Come on. She’s where I get it for sure.
SPEAKER_02:
My mom, mom likes to say I get it from my dad. That’s not true. I definitely get it from my mom. We have the same sense of humor, we can get each other laughing like on a roll. But I think part of the joy of the podcast is that I let people see where my humor comes from by just letting her go. Just letting her run, run, run, run, run that mouth. And it’s really cool because um she still lives in our hometown just outside of Detroit, and I live in Seattle now, so it’s a really awesome thing to be able to have that one hour to just. Fully like have no distractions and connect every single week. And I also think it’s a really cool thing because it’s on YouTube, also. So I can pull this shit up and show my kids later. Yeah. Like this was how grandma and I were together, you know? And they can just like be like, holy shit, I can see her moving, talking, speaking.
David:
Yeah. It’s a little bit of a time capsule for your future, the future assholes that you’ll be raising. Um that’s right. Uh speaking of, so you are not a parent yet. Maybe someday you will be, and we hope you are, because we want to bring you back. Maybe maybe when you come back. Well, you come back when you are a parent, so we can talk about how your life is different. But because you are not a parent yet, I want to try a game with you. And I have written six rapid-fire questions. Yes. And they are about parenting. And these are questions you need to know the answer to if you’re gonna be a parent in the future. Okay. Are you ready? Real shit.
Gavin:
I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but the best parents are pre-parents. Before you become a parent, you are the best parent. And then you spend the rest of your life realizing what a shitty parent you are. But this is why.
SPEAKER_02:
God damn, Gavin. You just hit Zack reality. Okay. Yeah.
David:
All right. Are you ready? Yep. Let’s do it. Here we go. All right. A woman walks up to you pushing your kid in a stroller. What question will she ask? Where’s the mom? Where’s the mom? Correct. Correct. Where’s the mom? Number two, when your kid pukes all over themselves in the car and you don’t have a change of clothes, what will they wear? Nothing. That’s correct. They’re a naked baby now. Who is the most destructive person in a baby’s life when it comes to diet, rules, bedtimes, and moderation? Me. Grandma, incorrect. Where should you buy clothes for your kids? Goodwill. Incorrect. You get them for free from a friend who has older kids. What does three T mean when referring to a kid’s clothing?
SPEAKER_02:
Um it’s like uh they’re they’re like three, but they’re big. They’re a tall three.
David:
Correct. It means nothing. It could mean literally anything. And last question: how many kids is too many kids to have? One. Correct. That’s correct. Good job. You got a good, you got a good five out of the six. Yes, that was excellent. Well done. Yes. Hold on. So you found that three T. So here, what it what it’s supposed to mean. So you know, you have you have newborn, three months, six months, nine months, twelve months, and then you have eighteen months, twenty four months, and then you have two T. Two, three, four, and sometimes five T is supposed to refer to their age. You have a two-year-old, three-year-old, four-year-old, five-year-old. But what you will soon find in kids’ clothing sizes is two T from Gap, just like if you’re buying non-pants there, does not mean two T from fucking Carter’s. You, my my 20-month-old daughter wears four T in some of the clothes. So clothing sizes don’t mean anything.
Gavin:
It’s all meaningless. So much of it is absolutely meaningless. But what was not meaningless was your answers to all of those questions. I can’t believe you got five of those.
David:
I I literally was like, oh, he’s not.
SPEAKER_02:
I knew the grandma one. I should have, I knew better. I knew better. And my mom will be horrible. But I’m gonna let her, I guess.
David:
It’s a it is amazing to watch your parents and you’re like, you used to scream at me if I had a banana because you said there was too much sugar, and you’re gonna watch your mom feed your three-month-old cop rocks. It will for breakfast pop rocks and coke for breakfast. He said he just brushes teeth. He’s my little angel. Yeah, we’re trying to. Trying to get him a deviated septum.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, that’s it.
David:
Yeah. How’s he gonna get diabetes? How’s he gonna get the sugars if he don’t eat some sugars? Hello.
Gavin:
You want some maple syrup on that skitty? Well, all seven of our listeners in Mississippi have now unsubscribed.
David:
Well, we did our job.
Gavin:
We did our job.
David:
Um, uh, I I would love to talk to you forever, but we can’t because uh it’s illegal. But I do want to leave with one last question if you don’t mind. I want to I’m curious to what you think before because you’re a pre-parent and you know everything. Where how do you think you’re gonna be an amazing dad? And how do you think you’re gonna be a shitty dad? Oh fuck. Um, we’re getting real here on Gay Triarch today.
SPEAKER_02:
I think I think being a gay parent naturally allows you the ability to let your kid do like what they want and what they naturally gravitate to, because so many of us as like gay or queer people had to like suppress what we really wanted to get into for too long. Like, I feel like I would have gotten in a theater and performance way earlier had I have not been inundated with like negative negativity about like boys being into this thing. So I think I’m gonna be a great parent in allowing my child to experiment with whatever it is they’re naturally drawn to and encouraging them to like get good at that because they like it and no other reason. I think I will flounder in the area of discipline. I think I’m going to be way more strict than I assume I’m going to be right now. And I and Morgan’s gonna be the exact opposite. Like I am gonna be dad, there’s no fucking around, and he’s gonna be the dad who I say no and then they run to him. And I think I’m gonna have to have a reality check of my expectations with that.
Gavin:
My uh my partner one time, I was complaining to him that I’m always the no dad, and he gets to be the yes dad. And at one point he said, I mean, I’m like the gay uncle. And I’m like, Oh, don’t you dare. Oh, don’t you dare.
David:
That’s shady. I I I was surprised because if you had asked me that question before I was a parent, I would have been like, Yeah, I’m gonna be too chill. I’m gonna let the kid stay up till midnight, but whatever. Do you know what happened when that baby was born? We were on schedules. I was tricked. I was like, you’re zero sugar. Like, I couldn’t believe how much of a military dad I became. And I I was like, I that is not me in real life. I’m like, everybody fucking do what they want. But I couldn’t believe it. Like, I was, especially with our first son. Now, with kid number two, it’s like whatever that she can just you know wander the yard. But like with number one, I was like so fucking strict about everything, and it was like it was surprising to me.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah. So wait, so was that are you okay with that in retrospect? Or do you kind of think it was too much looking back?
David:
No, I I actually think it was great. I think because, and and we’ve said this on the podcast many, many times, that my our number one advice to anybody becoming a parent, or at least mine is, is your kid, remember your kid is joining your life and not the other way around. And to make sure that you are surviving, you’re putting your oxygen mask on before helping others. Because if you aren’t a full person, if you can’t get up, if you’re too tired, if you’re too bitter from whatever, you can’t parent properly. So those rules, those strict bedtimes, like for me, like 7:15, we’re walking upstairs for my daughter, 8.15 on the dot. We’re walking upstairs for my son. A lot of that is for them. So they have a regimented system, but a lot of it’s for me, because then I know at 8:45, I get an hour of time for what for me. And that I needed to know was coming to get through the day. So for me, it was very I’m glad I did it because, and maybe some people looked as more strict parents, but like I needed it to survive just for me, selfishly. But then I think it does benefit the kids too. But it was just surprise. I mean, I’m not like, I mean, some, you know, we listen, we had pancakes this morning. Like, I’m not super militant about it, but like I needed to, I needed to have a structure where I felt like I could survive through, especially those first three months. Godspeed, whenever you become a parent, those first three months. We say the same thing in teaching.
Gavin:
Yeah, I was just gonna say, Joe, you probably have the same philosophies, and the only thing I was gonna add to uh David’s monologue there was that limits, limits are really important, right? And dogs need limits, and kids need limits, and parents need uh teachers and parents need limits to be like otherwise just total fucking chaos.
David:
And David needs limits on his monologuing. I get it, I hear you. We’re already 36 men at 10.
Gavin:
But Joe, what did you mean by like that’s for like teachers too?
SPEAKER_02:
No, we say that all the time is like if no if the teacher is not showing up to work as their full self, then you you have nothing left to give to the kids. And that’s the biggest issue with education as a whole, is nobody’s looking out for the teacher’s well-being. And we’re just put we’re making teachers stress to the absolute max and then expecting them to perform miracles every single day when they’re even struggling to and this isn’t uh I’m not exaggerating here, when they’re struggling to feed their own families. You know, no doubt. So, so how that it’s so amazing to hear you say that because I think what you just did to me is helped me realize that there’s so much more to my experience as a teacher that will make me a better parent, so much more than just what I did with the kids, you know? Yeah, yeah. That’s great. I’m glad you said that.
David:
I don’t I uh we we don’t try to inspire people on the show, so I apologize for that on the other side.
SPEAKER_02:
Honestly, honestly, it’s like regardless of comedy and whatnot, too. I I like I super appreciate the truth. And it is oftentimes rare to talk to other gay guys who want kids or who have kids or who it like this is their journey. So it it maybe you weren’t trying to be inspirational, but I it was awesome to hear. It was awesome to hear. And now drop your OnlyFans link.
David:
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. You can find me at David Fabon XXX on OnlyFans,$7.99 this week only, 50% off.
SPEAKER_02:
Did you girls hear Twitter is going to exile um explicit content? What are we gonna do?
David:
That’s the only reason I still have Twitter. It’s literally like if you ever want to know who I’m into, look at my who I follow. It’s the it’s it’s literally the it’s it’s literally the only reason to use Twitter still. You get rid of that. It’s like Tumblr. It’s like you got rid of porn. Like now what I’m gonna blog about my fucking like like bracelet making business. Like, no. Like, I’m out. Good. I it’s so fun to watch you spend a hundred billion dollars in the course of six months. But yeah, good luck. Like, I I’m not interested. But like, all joking aside, that this is why we started this show is because I also feel like vacuum, this vacuum of when dads, gay guys became dads, they became these sterile, perfect, Instagramable. Jake. And I was like, why am I having an experience where I have regrets or I’m pissed or I find myself yelling and I didn’t know, like I had this complicated life that on top of like I’m also a sexual person, I’m also married, I also have a career. Like the whole my whole person got reduced to just being a pretty gay dad, excuse me, a really handsome, sexy, hung six-pack hat dad. But um, but but I I I wanted to be able to kiki with other gay dads and talk about wiping butts, but also talk about sex, but also talk about politics, but also, you know, the being a full human being. So when you become a dad, whenever that is, it could be tomorrow, it could be in 10 years.
Gavin:
Don’t start a gay comedy podcast to compete with that.
David:
I mean, do. I mean, whatever. All you know, rising tide raises all votes, but do come back on the show and tell us all the things you were wrong about that you thought you were gonna be right about. Consider it done. Um, thank you so much for joining us. You’re my favorite. Um, if you don’t already follow him, please do. You already follow him. Everyone out there already follows you. But they can find you on tour. Tell us a little bit about where you’re gonna be.
SPEAKER_02:
Oh my God, all over the place. I’m coming up and doing a little stint in Omaha, Kansas City.
David:
Uh wait, remember, Joe, today is today is November 1st. Remember, November 1st.
SPEAKER_02:
Then right now I’m in Buffalo, and then I’m gonna be in New York City, and then I’m gonna be in Albany, Syracuse, Hartford, Royal Oak, Michigan, Tempe, uh, Raleigh, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland. The list goes on. You can get your tickets at Mr.DTimes3.com. You have to pay for that dress. You really free ad space.
David:
But wait, this is what’s happening, what’s happening on the 5th? What’s happening in five days?
SPEAKER_02:
November 5th, November 5th. My first ever comedy special will be dropping on YouTube. It’s called Don’t Eat the Crayons. I took all of my teaching material, all of the stories from specifically teaching kindergarten and rammed it into one special. And it’s gonna be on YouTube dropping November 5th. You can find it at Jodenbrowski on YouTube or just type in Don’t Eat the Crayons. I’m sure you’ll find it. And I love some positivity because you guys, a gay on YouTube, the comments are relentless. So if anyone listening to this, even if you don’t fucking like me in this interview, just please, for the love of Judy Garland, go to my page and just type a smiley face on that.
David:
But that’s the thing is like you’re you’re funny, tall, handsome. You’re you have all the things, they’re still gonna come for you. Yeah, they’re still gonna tear you down. Consider it a compliment.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah. I love too when they just write gay, but I love it because it lets me know they’re listening with sound on.
unknown:
Yeah.
David:
Yay. Um, thank you so much, Joe, for joining us. Absolutely. So my something great will fit right in with everything we’ve been talking about, and it’s gonna be funny, but I want to be serious about it. Is the fall slash the holiday season? Oh Jesus. I know I’m a basic fucking bitch. I get it. PSLs and chunky sweaters and apple picking, I get it. But it just absolutely fills me with joy in a way that I don’t get the rest of the year. And it may be because I’m basic, maybe it’s for whatever reason, maybe it’s because like my miss being just you know, that’s what we did with our family or whatever. But like I just the fucking weather turns, the PSLs come out, the the Christmas decorations come too early, and I am so fucking happy. I start working on my Halloween project in the front yard, and I start thinking about what Christmas theme is gonna be. And it just fills me with joy, and I think it’s something great, whether you do or you don’t. So that’s my something great. What about you, Gavin?
Gavin:
Well, I’m uh this week I’m going with my something great as being trash collectors. Because this last weekend, when uh we I happened to be, I happened to be watching the trash, our trash collectors came up to the house and they pulled away our stuff on Saturday morning. And my son looks at me and goes, Thank goodness for the people who do the work that I don’t want to do. And I thought son said that? Yes. And I’m like, hey, look how that gratitude is being pushed down through the generations. And uh I am so grateful for the all of I mean, it it is it is something great that I don’t have to take the trash out. I mean, you know, take it any further than just the curb. Yeah, and um, and I I do have to do that with our recycling because it’s New England, and in New England, you have to like drive your recycling to the recycling places and whatnot. But there is instant gratification there. Anyway, I’m waxing way too poetic. I appreciated that my kid showed full-on gratitude for doing the work that needs to happen to get our society through the day. And uh something great is there’s trash collectors.
David:
I will say that like the two of our like consistent trash collectors are like super hot and in the summer we’ll wear like sleeveless and like baggy shorts and you see things. And I very I very much feel the same way about being appreciated. But there’s also a weird part of me that thinks it would be really fun to be a trash collector because it’s the opposite of what I have to do as a director and a writer. I’m thinking like big and I’m thinking of all the departments, I’m thinking about so many things at once, versus when you’re a trash collector, you’re like, I’m gonna put that in there. And there’s something so attractive about like the mindlessness of that. Um, yeah, but really it’s about the hot ones.
Gavin:
And it’s instant gratification of uh dudes who are um immediately cleaning things up and you can see the results of it, and you can see if they’re wearing underwear or not, and that is our show. Our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.
David:
We’re doing really great today. Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast on the internet. David is at Daven FMVaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on Trash.com. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, and we’ll pick your apples next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.