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		<title>Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast</title>
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		<description>Gaytriarchs is a comedy podcast about the joy, horror, laughter, and bullsh*t that all comes with parenting, but from two gay dads’ point of view. Aimed at listeners who want to laugh into the darkness to hear an unvarnished, real conversation about raising kids and being Dads.&nbsp;Instagram and TikTok @GaytriarchsPodcastWebsite www.GaytriarchsPodcast.comIf you have any questions, suggestions, and especially compliments, please email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com</description>
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		<language>en-us</language>
		<copyright>© 2026 Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast</copyright>
		<itunes:subtitle></itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:author>David F.M. Vaughn &amp; Gavin Lodge</itunes:author>
		<itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type>
		<itunes:summary>Gaytriarchs is a comedy podcast about the joy, horror, laughter, and bullsh*t that all comes with parenting, but from two gay dads’ point of view. Aimed at listeners who want to laugh into the darkness to hear an unvarnished, real conversation about raising kids and being Dads.&nbsp;Instagram and TikTok @GaytriarchsPodcastWebsite www.GaytriarchsPodcast.comIf you have any questions, suggestions, and especially compliments, please email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:owner>
			<itunes:name>David F.M. Vaughn &amp; Gavin Lodge</itunes:name>
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		<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
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				<title>Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast</title>
				<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcasts/gaytriarchs/</link>
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		<itunes:category text="Comedy">
			<itunes:category text="Parenting"></itunes:category>
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		<itunes:category text="Comedy">
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		<itunes:category text="Kids &amp; Family">
									<itunes:category text="Parenting"></itunes:category>
							</itunes:category>
		<googleplay:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn &amp; Gavin Lodge]]></googleplay:author>
						<googleplay:description>Gaytriarchs is a comedy podcast about the joy, horror, laughter, and bullsh*t that all comes with parenting, but from two gay dads’ point of view. Aimed at listeners who want to laugh into the darkness to hear an unvarnished, real conversation about raising kids and being Dads.&nbsp;Instagram and TikTok @GaytriarchsPodcastWebsite www.GaytriarchsPodcast.comIf you have any questions, suggestions, and especially compliments, please email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com</googleplay:description>
			<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
			<googleplay:image href="https://gaytriarchs.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/uhyp18f3xq3t7pbv7shefyp03ddq.jpg"></googleplay:image>
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<item>
	<title>The one with I&#8217;M TIRED OF THIS, GRANDPA</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-im-tired-of-this-grandpa/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-im-tired-of-this-grandpa/</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin explains himself, we talk about the cornerstones of gay men&apos;s personalities (audacity and delusion), we are proud of our Freedom, Gavin asks a WWYD, and we rank the top 3 toys you disappear. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin explains himself, we talk about the cornerstones of gay men&apos;s personalities (audacity and delusion), we are proud of our Freedom, Gavin asks a WWYD, and we rank the top 3 toys you disappear. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send t]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin explains himself, we talk about the cornerstones of gay men&apos;s personalities (audacity and delusion), we are proud of our Freedom, Gavin asks a WWYD, and we rank the top 3 toys you disappear. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin explains himself, we talk about the cornerstones of gay men&apos;s personalities (audacity and delusion), we are proud of our Freedom, Gavin asks a WWYD, and we rank the top 3 toys you disappear. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin explains himself, we talk about the cornerstones of gay men&apos;s personalities (audacity and delusion), we are proud of our Freedom, Gavin asks a WWYD, and we rank the top 3 toys you disappear. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one met ons</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-met-ons/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-met-ons/</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, cats are gay, we ask if there is any real joy in parenting, David&apos;s husband breaks himself, Gavin shuts his mouth, we give you a Dad hack that isn&apos;t for Dads nor is a hack, we rank the top 3 sleepover breakfasts, and we celebrate our DILF of the week, Barney Frank. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, cats are gay, we ask if there is any real joy in parenting, David&apos;s husband breaks himself, Gavin shuts his mouth, we give you a Dad hack that isn&apos;t for Dads nor is a hack, we rank the top 3 sleepover breakfasts, and we celebrate our]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, cats are gay, we ask if there is any real joy in parenting, David&apos;s husband breaks himself, Gavin shuts his mouth, we give you a Dad hack that isn&apos;t for Dads nor is a hack, we rank the top 3 sleepover breakfasts, and we celebrate our DILF of the week, Barney Frank. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, cats are gay, we ask if there is any real joy in parenting, David&apos;s husband breaks himself, Gavin shuts his mouth, we give you a Dad hack that isn&apos;t for Dads nor is a hack, we rank the top 3 sleepover breakfasts, and we celebrate our DILF of the week, Barney Frank. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, cats are gay, we ask if there is any real joy in parenting, David&apos;s husband breaks himself, Gavin shuts his mouth, we give you a Dad hack that isn&apos;t for Dads nor is a hack, we rank the top 3 sleepover breakfasts, and we celebrate our DILF of the week, Barney Frank. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with no Moms</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-no-moms/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-19146817</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David resfuses to celebrate anything but Mother&apos;s Day, Gavin has teenagers, we miss toddlerhood, we lust after the hottest twink in Germany, and we rank the top three 3&apos;s. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David resfuses to celebrate anything but Mother&apos;s Day, Gavin has teenagers, we miss toddlerhood, we lust after the hottest twink in Germany, and we rank the top three 3&apos;s. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPo]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David resfuses to celebrate anything but Mother&apos;s Day, Gavin has teenagers, we miss toddlerhood, we lust after the hottest twink in Germany, and we rank the top three 3&apos;s. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David resfuses to celebrate anything but Mother&apos;s Day, Gavin has teenagers, we miss toddlerhood, we lust after the hottest twink in Germany, and we rank the top three 3&apos;s. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David resfuses to celebrate anything but Mother&apos;s Day, Gavin has teenagers, we miss toddlerhood, we lust after the hottest twink in Germany, and we rank the top three 3&apos;s. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one where we hold space with Tracy E. Gilchrist</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-where-we-hold-space-with-tracy-e-gilchrist/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 May 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-19097561</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin learns what a &#34;pick me&#34; is, David doesn&apos;t take his kid to work, there&apos;s no good news in the world, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Summer mistakes, and this week we are holding space with Tracy E. Gilchrist, talking about the viral interview that set it all going, what being a journalist in 2026 is like, and what it was like simulating oral sex on a stage in Phoenix, Arizona.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin learns what a &#34;pick me&#34; is, David doesn&apos;t take his kid to work, there&apos;s no good news in the world, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Summer mistakes, and this week we are holding space with Tracy E. ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin learns what a &#34;pick me&#34; is, David doesn&apos;t take his kid to work, there&apos;s no good news in the world, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Summer mistakes, and this week we are holding space with Tracy E. Gilchrist, talking about the viral interview that set it all going, what being a journalist in 2026 is like, and what it was like simulating oral sex on a stage in Phoenix, Arizona.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/19097561-the-one-where-we-hold-space-with-tracy-e-gilchrist.mp3" length="42416947" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin learns what a &#34;pick me&#34; is, David doesn&apos;t take his kid to work, there&apos;s no good news in the world, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Summer mistakes, and this week we are holding space with Tracy E. Gilchrist, talking about the viral interview that set it all going, what being a journalist in 2026 is like, and what it was like simulating oral sex on a stage in Phoenix, Arizona.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin learns what a &#34;pick me&#34; is, David doesn&apos;t take his kid to work, there&apos;s no good news in the world, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Summer mistakes, and this week we are holding space with Tracy E. Gilchrist, talking about the viral interview that set it all going, what being a journalist in 2026 is like, and what it was like simulating oral sex on a stage in Phoenix, Arizona.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one when Dr. X returns!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-when-dr-x-returns/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 29 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-19094360</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets in a Facebook fight, Gavin takes a family road trip, David can&apos;t put his phone down, Russia does something sexy, we rank the top 3 songs that capture parenting, and this week we are joined (again) by the mysterious yet informative Dr. X who talks to us about boys; babies, kids, and teens, and all the disgusting things they do, say, and emit. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets in a Facebook fight, Gavin takes a family road trip, David can&apos;t put his phone down, Russia does something sexy, we rank the top 3 songs that capture parenting, and this week we are joined (again) by the mysterious yet informat]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets in a Facebook fight, Gavin takes a family road trip, David can&apos;t put his phone down, Russia does something sexy, we rank the top 3 songs that capture parenting, and this week we are joined (again) by the mysterious yet informative Dr. X who talks to us about boys; babies, kids, and teens, and all the disgusting things they do, say, and emit. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets in a Facebook fight, Gavin takes a family road trip, David can&apos;t put his phone down, Russia does something sexy, we rank the top 3 songs that capture parenting, and this week we are joined (again) by the mysterious yet informative Dr. X who talks to us about boys; babies, kids, and teens, and all the disgusting things they do, say, and emit. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets in a Facebook fight, Gavin takes a family road trip, David can&apos;t put his phone down, Russia does something sexy, we rank the top 3 songs that capture parenting, and this week we are joined (again) by the mysterious yet informative Dr. X who talks to us about boys; babies, kids, and teens, and all the disgusting things they do, say, and emit. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Emmy-winner Maggie Gottlieb</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-emmy-winner-maggie-gottlieb/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-19016685</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin prefers them small, David can&apos;t remember babies, there is no good news this week, we honor our most long-distance DILF, we rank the top 3 gay things that aren&apos;t gay, and this week we are joined by writer and West-coaster Maggie Gottlieb who talks to us about having kids later in life, what it&apos;s like to win an Emmy, and why, after all of the crap her kid put her through, she&apos;s thinking of doing it again. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin prefers them small, David can&apos;t remember babies, there is no good news this week, we honor our most long-distance DILF, we rank the top 3 gay things that aren&apos;t gay, and this week we are joined by writer and West-coaster Maggie]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin prefers them small, David can&apos;t remember babies, there is no good news this week, we honor our most long-distance DILF, we rank the top 3 gay things that aren&apos;t gay, and this week we are joined by writer and West-coaster Maggie Gottlieb who talks to us about having kids later in life, what it&apos;s like to win an Emmy, and why, after all of the crap her kid put her through, she&apos;s thinking of doing it again. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/19016685-the-one-with-emmy-winner-maggie-gottlieb.mp3" length="52029777" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin prefers them small, David can&apos;t remember babies, there is no good news this week, we honor our most long-distance DILF, we rank the top 3 gay things that aren&apos;t gay, and this week we are joined by writer and West-coaster Maggie Gottlieb who talks to us about having kids later in life, what it&apos;s like to win an Emmy, and why, after all of the crap her kid put her through, she&apos;s thinking of doing it again. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin prefers them small, David can&apos;t remember babies, there is no good news this week, we honor our most long-distance DILF, we rank the top 3 gay things that aren&apos;t gay, and this week we are joined by writer and West-coaster Maggie Gottlieb who talks to us about having kids later in life, what it&apos;s like to win an Emmy, and why, after all of the crap her kid put her through, she&apos;s thinking of doing it again. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with us</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-us/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 08 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18980339</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David spends spring break amongst the trash, Gavin &#34;goes to a concert,&#34; we love sloppy boobs, Gavin reads the bible, we make an apology to our listener, and we round out this week with the top 3 crucifixions. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David spends spring break amongst the trash, Gavin &#34;goes to a concert,&#34; we love sloppy boobs, Gavin reads the bible, we make an apology to our listener, and we round out this week with the top 3 crucifixions. Questions? Comments? Rants]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David spends spring break amongst the trash, Gavin &#34;goes to a concert,&#34; we love sloppy boobs, Gavin reads the bible, we make an apology to our listener, and we round out this week with the top 3 crucifixions. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18980339-the-one-with-us.mp3" length="28998191" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David spends spring break amongst the trash, Gavin &#34;goes to a concert,&#34; we love sloppy boobs, Gavin reads the bible, we make an apology to our listener, and we round out this week with the top 3 crucifixions. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David spends spring break amongst the trash, Gavin &#34;goes to a concert,&#34; we love sloppy boobs, Gavin reads the bible, we make an apology to our listener, and we round out this week with the top 3 crucifixions. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with tutor Danny Bennett</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tutor-danny-bennett/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 01 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18934840</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is humiliated, Gavin has the best weekend of his life, David doesn&apos;t know what to do during a tantrum, we rank the top 3 worst gay people, and this week we are joined by Danny Bennett, who talks to us about his tutoring company, how to keep phones away from your kids, and answers the easy question &#34;what is the problem with the American education system?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is humiliated, Gavin has the best weekend of his life, David doesn&apos;t know what to do during a tantrum, we rank the top 3 worst gay people, and this week we are joined by Danny Bennett, who talks to us about his tutoring company, how]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is humiliated, Gavin has the best weekend of his life, David doesn&apos;t know what to do during a tantrum, we rank the top 3 worst gay people, and this week we are joined by Danny Bennett, who talks to us about his tutoring company, how to keep phones away from your kids, and answers the easy question &#34;what is the problem with the American education system?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18934840-the-one-with-tutor-danny-bennett.mp3" length="45377627" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is humiliated, Gavin has the best weekend of his life, David doesn&apos;t know what to do during a tantrum, we rank the top 3 worst gay people, and this week we are joined by Danny Bennett, who talks to us about his tutoring company, how to keep phones away from your kids, and answers the easy question &#34;what is the problem with the American education system?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is humiliated, Gavin has the best weekend of his life, David doesn&apos;t know what to do during a tantrum, we rank the top 3 worst gay people, and this week we are joined by Danny Bennett, who talks to us about his tutoring company, how to keep phones away from your kids, and answers the easy question &#34;what is the problem with the American education system?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Anna Przy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-anna-przy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18863361</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s ego gets knocked down 2 pegs, Gavin&apos;s kids are driving, old cartoons are racist, we have *some* good gay news, we rank the top 3 wars, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, influencer, comedienne, and ray of light Anna Przy who talks to us about her daily affirmations, how NOT to raise your kids, and why she&apos;s known as the queen of millennial mental health.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s ego gets knocked down 2 pegs, Gavin&apos;s kids are driving, old cartoons are racist, we have *some* good gay news, we rank the top 3 wars, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, influencer, comedienne, and ray of light]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s ego gets knocked down 2 pegs, Gavin&apos;s kids are driving, old cartoons are racist, we have *some* good gay news, we rank the top 3 wars, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, influencer, comedienne, and ray of light Anna Przy who talks to us about her daily affirmations, how NOT to raise your kids, and why she&apos;s known as the queen of millennial mental health.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18863361-the-one-with-anna-przy.mp3" length="39246773" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s ego gets knocked down 2 pegs, Gavin&apos;s kids are driving, old cartoons are racist, we have *some* good gay news, we rank the top 3 wars, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, influencer, comedienne, and ray of light Anna Przy who talks to us about her daily affirmations, how NOT to raise your kids, and why she&apos;s known as the queen of millennial mental health.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s ego gets knocked down 2 pegs, Gavin&apos;s kids are driving, old cartoons are racist, we have *some* good gay news, we rank the top 3 wars, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, influencer, comedienne, and ray of light Anna Przy who talks to us about her daily affirmations, how NOT to raise your kids, and why she&apos;s known as the queen of millennial mental health.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with multi-multi-hyphenate Becky Lythgoe</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-multi-multi-hyphenate-becky-lythgoe/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 11 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18826566</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David says the same thing he&apos;s been saying for months, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 90&apos;s sitcoms, and this week we are joined by actor, producer, Mom, and all around joy Becky Lythgoe as she chats with us about the dramatic entrance of her son, who she really is on the inside, and what is making everyone gayer.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David says the same thing he&apos;s been saying for months, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 90&apos;s sitcoms, and this week we are joined by actor, producer, Mom, and all around joy Becky Lythgoe as she chats with us abo]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David says the same thing he&apos;s been saying for months, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 90&apos;s sitcoms, and this week we are joined by actor, producer, Mom, and all around joy Becky Lythgoe as she chats with us about the dramatic entrance of her son, who she really is on the inside, and what is making everyone gayer.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18826566-the-one-with-multi-multi-hyphenate-becky-lythgoe.mp3" length="42615994" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David says the same thing he&apos;s been saying for months, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 90&apos;s sitcoms, and this week we are joined by actor, producer, Mom, and all around joy Becky Lythgoe as she chats with us about the dramatic entrance of her son, who she really is on the inside, and what is making everyone gayer.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David says the same thing he&apos;s been saying for months, we lust after our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 90&apos;s sitcoms, and this week we are joined by actor, producer, Mom, and all around joy Becky Lythgoe as she chats with us about the dramatic entrance of her son, who she really is on the inside, and what is making everyone gayer.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18786045</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s a winner, baby, Gavin gets schooled by his son, David has some ancestral drama, we finish out our &#34;Babies 101&#34; course with talking about the first three months, we rank the top 3 Babies, and David closes out the show with a reading of &#34;Yertle the Turtle.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s a winner, baby, Gavin gets schooled by his son, David has some ancestral drama, we finish out our &#34;Babies 101&#34; course with talking about the first three months, we rank the top 3 Babies, and David closes out the show with ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s a winner, baby, Gavin gets schooled by his son, David has some ancestral drama, we finish out our &#34;Babies 101&#34; course with talking about the first three months, we rank the top 3 Babies, and David closes out the show with a reading of &#34;Yertle the Turtle.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18786045-the-one-with.mp3" length="35449097" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s a winner, baby, Gavin gets schooled by his son, David has some ancestral drama, we finish out our &#34;Babies 101&#34; course with talking about the first three months, we rank the top 3 Babies, and David closes out the show with a reading of &#34;Yertle the Turtle.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s a winner, baby, Gavin gets schooled by his son, David has some ancestral drama, we finish out our &#34;Babies 101&#34; course with talking about the first three months, we rank the top 3 Babies, and David closes out the show with a reading of &#34;Yertle the Turtle.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Realtor Kaitlin Hannig</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-realtor-kaitlin-hannig/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2026 15:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18736808</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter finds new ways to win an argument, Gavin and David and covered in 24 inches of white stuff, we start a &#34;Babies 101&#34; course, we rank the top 3 dogs, and this week we are joined by Gavin&apos;s new crush Kaitlin Hannig who talks to us about being a mom, surviving a cult, Utah real estate, and being a social media phenom who isn&apos;t afraid of standing up for what she believes in.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter finds new ways to win an argument, Gavin and David and covered in 24 inches of white stuff, we start a &#34;Babies 101&#34; course, we rank the top 3 dogs, and this week we are joined by Gavin&apos;s new crush Kaitlin Han]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter finds new ways to win an argument, Gavin and David and covered in 24 inches of white stuff, we start a &#34;Babies 101&#34; course, we rank the top 3 dogs, and this week we are joined by Gavin&apos;s new crush Kaitlin Hannig who talks to us about being a mom, surviving a cult, Utah real estate, and being a social media phenom who isn&apos;t afraid of standing up for what she believes in.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18736808-the-one-with-realtor-kaitlin-hannig.mp3" length="63500164" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter finds new ways to win an argument, Gavin and David and covered in 24 inches of white stuff, we start a &#34;Babies 101&#34; course, we rank the top 3 dogs, and this week we are joined by Gavin&apos;s new crush Kaitlin Hannig who talks to us about being a mom, surviving a cult, Utah real estate, and being a social media phenom who isn&apos;t afraid of standing up for what she believes in.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter finds new ways to win an argument, Gavin and David and covered in 24 inches of white stuff, we start a &#34;Babies 101&#34; course, we rank the top 3 dogs, and this week we are joined by Gavin&apos;s new crush Kaitlin Hannig who talks to us about being a mom, surviving a cult, Utah real estate, and being a social media phenom who isn&apos;t afraid of standing up for what she believes in.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with secret service agent Cory Allen</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-secret-service-agent-cory-allen/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Feb 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18703553</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin enjoys at little Schadenfreude at his daughter, David misses his sacred window, there&apos;s no good news, Ricky Martin is our everything, we rank the top 3 weirdest and worst songs to figure skate to, and this week we are joined by author and former secret service agent Cory Allen who chats with us about being in the secret service, how secret he had to be about his gay identity, and what Michelle Obama&apos;s Taco Bell order is.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin enjoys at little Schadenfreude at his daughter, David misses his sacred window, there&apos;s no good news, Ricky Martin is our everything, we rank the top 3 weirdest and worst songs to figure skate to, and this week we are joined by auth]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin enjoys at little Schadenfreude at his daughter, David misses his sacred window, there&apos;s no good news, Ricky Martin is our everything, we rank the top 3 weirdest and worst songs to figure skate to, and this week we are joined by author and former secret service agent Cory Allen who chats with us about being in the secret service, how secret he had to be about his gay identity, and what Michelle Obama&apos;s Taco Bell order is.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18703553-the-one-with-secret-service-agent-cory-allen.mp3" length="46336868" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin enjoys at little Schadenfreude at his daughter, David misses his sacred window, there&apos;s no good news, Ricky Martin is our everything, we rank the top 3 weirdest and worst songs to figure skate to, and this week we are joined by author and former secret service agent Cory Allen who chats with us about being in the secret service, how secret he had to be about his gay identity, and what Michelle Obama&apos;s Taco Bell order is.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin enjoys at little Schadenfreude at his daughter, David misses his sacred window, there&apos;s no good news, Ricky Martin is our everything, we rank the top 3 weirdest and worst songs to figure skate to, and this week we are joined by author and former secret service agent Cory Allen who chats with us about being in the secret service, how secret he had to be about his gay identity, and what Michelle Obama&apos;s Taco Bell order is.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with multi hyphenate Will Collyer</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-multi-hyphenate-will-collyer/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 11 Feb 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18658847</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, we obsess over Bad Bunny, we figure out of not eating Chik-fil-a even matters anymore, David has a big transition in his life, we (begrudgingly) have a &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 TV parents, and this week we are joined by voice actor and multi-hyphenate Will Collyer who chats with us about being a voice actor, how he became a parent of two, and what advice he has on David starting his career in television.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we obsess over Bad Bunny, we figure out of not eating Chik-fil-a even matters anymore, David has a big transition in his life, we (begrudgingly) have a &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 TV parents, and this week we are joined by ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we obsess over Bad Bunny, we figure out of not eating Chik-fil-a even matters anymore, David has a big transition in his life, we (begrudgingly) have a &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 TV parents, and this week we are joined by voice actor and multi-hyphenate Will Collyer who chats with us about being a voice actor, how he became a parent of two, and what advice he has on David starting his career in television.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18658847-the-one-with-multi-hyphenate-will-collyer.mp3" length="48513280" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we obsess over Bad Bunny, we figure out of not eating Chik-fil-a even matters anymore, David has a big transition in his life, we (begrudgingly) have a &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 TV parents, and this week we are joined by voice actor and multi-hyphenate Will Collyer who chats with us about being a voice actor, how he became a parent of two, and what advice he has on David starting his career in television.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we obsess over Bad Bunny, we figure out of not eating Chik-fil-a even matters anymore, David has a big transition in his life, we (begrudgingly) have a &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 TV parents, and this week we are joined by voice actor and multi-hyphenate Will Collyer who chats with us about being a voice actor, how he became a parent of two, and what advice he has on David starting his career in television.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Disco Baby aka Charlotte Lyons</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-disco-baby-aka-charlotte-lyons/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18622073</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kids have no spacial awareness, Gavin tries to sneak his kids vegetables, David gets visciously bullied, we come up with new names for &#34;Space Force,&#34; and this week we are joined by fashionista and our favorite Brit Charlotte Lyons aka &#34;Disco Baby&#34; who talks to us about starting a clothing brand, the music festival scene, and she finally answers the question: do Europeans have more fun than Americans?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kids have no spacial awareness, Gavin tries to sneak his kids vegetables, David gets visciously bullied, we come up with new names for &#34;Space Force,&#34; and this week we are joined by fashionista and our favorite Brit Charlot]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kids have no spacial awareness, Gavin tries to sneak his kids vegetables, David gets visciously bullied, we come up with new names for &#34;Space Force,&#34; and this week we are joined by fashionista and our favorite Brit Charlotte Lyons aka &#34;Disco Baby&#34; who talks to us about starting a clothing brand, the music festival scene, and she finally answers the question: do Europeans have more fun than Americans?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18622073-the-one-with-disco-baby-aka-charlotte-lyons.mp3" length="42498433" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kids have no spacial awareness, Gavin tries to sneak his kids vegetables, David gets visciously bullied, we come up with new names for &#34;Space Force,&#34; and this week we are joined by fashionista and our favorite Brit Charlotte Lyons aka &#34;Disco Baby&#34; who talks to us about starting a clothing brand, the music festival scene, and she finally answers the question: do Europeans have more fun than Americans?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kids have no spacial awareness, Gavin tries to sneak his kids vegetables, David gets visciously bullied, we come up with new names for &#34;Space Force,&#34; and this week we are joined by fashionista and our favorite Brit Charlotte Lyons aka &#34;Disco Baby&#34; who talks to us about starting a clothing brand, the music festival scene, and she finally answers the question: do Europeans have more fun than Americans?&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with our favorite understudy Ellyn Marie Marsh</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-our-favorite-understudy-ellyn-marie-marsh/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 Jan 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18580278</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin watches TV with his daughter, David is a hypocrite, we discuss the transition between daycare and school, EVERYONE PANIC WE MUST HAVE SUMMER CAMP PLANS ALREADY, we rank the top 3 winter dishes, we apologize for the worst top 3 lists in history, and this week we are joined by podcast royalty and general disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh who chats with us about divorce, blending families, and why doing the opposite of everything she knows from childhood is the best way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin watches TV with his daughter, David is a hypocrite, we discuss the transition between daycare and school, EVERYONE PANIC WE MUST HAVE SUMMER CAMP PLANS ALREADY, we rank the top 3 winter dishes, we apologize for the worst top 3 lists in h]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin watches TV with his daughter, David is a hypocrite, we discuss the transition between daycare and school, EVERYONE PANIC WE MUST HAVE SUMMER CAMP PLANS ALREADY, we rank the top 3 winter dishes, we apologize for the worst top 3 lists in history, and this week we are joined by podcast royalty and general disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh who chats with us about divorce, blending families, and why doing the opposite of everything she knows from childhood is the best way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin watches TV with his daughter, David is a hypocrite, we discuss the transition between daycare and school, EVERYONE PANIC WE MUST HAVE SUMMER CAMP PLANS ALREADY, we rank the top 3 winter dishes, we apologize for the worst top 3 lists in history, and this week we are joined by podcast royalty and general disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh who chats with us about divorce, blending families, and why doing the opposite of everything she knows from childhood is the best way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin watches TV with his daughter, David is a hypocrite, we discuss the transition between daycare and school, EVERYONE PANIC WE MUST HAVE SUMMER CAMP PLANS ALREADY, we rank the top 3 winter dishes, we apologize for the worst top 3 lists in history, and this week we are joined by podcast royalty and general disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh who chats with us about divorce, blending families, and why doing the opposite of everything she knows from childhood is the best way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The ones with these old guests Zack and Camille Dettmore</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-ones-with-these-old-guests-zack-and-camille-dettmore/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18544546</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David enjoys watching his kids struggle, Gavin&apos;s kids are addicted to technology, David continues his rant about older parents telling him &#34;it goes by so fast,&#34; because we are an edgy and young podcast we rank the top 3 soups, and this week we are joined by two of TV&apos;s biggest somebody&apos;s, Zack and Camille Dettmore, who talk to us about this new TV show, why it&apos;s pretty gay to be a carpenter, and they tell us the story of their dogs weight gain that you&apos;ll wish you never heard. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David enjoys watching his kids struggle, Gavin&apos;s kids are addicted to technology, David continues his rant about older parents telling him &#34;it goes by so fast,&#34; because we are an edgy and young podcast we rank the top 3 soups, and]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David enjoys watching his kids struggle, Gavin&apos;s kids are addicted to technology, David continues his rant about older parents telling him &#34;it goes by so fast,&#34; because we are an edgy and young podcast we rank the top 3 soups, and this week we are joined by two of TV&apos;s biggest somebody&apos;s, Zack and Camille Dettmore, who talk to us about this new TV show, why it&apos;s pretty gay to be a carpenter, and they tell us the story of their dogs weight gain that you&apos;ll wish you never heard. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David enjoys watching his kids struggle, Gavin&apos;s kids are addicted to technology, David continues his rant about older parents telling him &#34;it goes by so fast,&#34; because we are an edgy and young podcast we rank the top 3 soups, and this week we are joined by two of TV&apos;s biggest somebody&apos;s, Zack and Camille Dettmore, who talk to us about this new TV show, why it&apos;s pretty gay to be a carpenter, and they tell us the story of their dogs weight gain that you&apos;ll wish you never heard. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David enjoys watching his kids struggle, Gavin&apos;s kids are addicted to technology, David continues his rant about older parents telling him &#34;it goes by so fast,&#34; because we are an edgy and young podcast we rank the top 3 soups, and this week we are joined by two of TV&apos;s biggest somebody&apos;s, Zack and Camille Dettmore, who talk to us about this new TV show, why it&apos;s pretty gay to be a carpenter, and they tell us the story of their dogs weight gain that you&apos;ll wish you never heard. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with our intern Bryan Ruiz</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-our-intern-bryan-ruiz/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18503116</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David receives a special letter in the mail, Gavin dives into the gender differences in sports, we tackle &#34;Where do babies come from?,&#34; we rank the top 3 things to do with your kids in the dead of winter, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster and fellow gay Bryan Ruiz who talks to us about losing a pet, it&apos;s impacts on parents, and how to break the news to kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David receives a special letter in the mail, Gavin dives into the gender differences in sports, we tackle &#34;Where do babies come from?,&#34; we rank the top 3 things to do with your kids in the dead of winter, and this week we are joined by]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David receives a special letter in the mail, Gavin dives into the gender differences in sports, we tackle &#34;Where do babies come from?,&#34; we rank the top 3 things to do with your kids in the dead of winter, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster and fellow gay Bryan Ruiz who talks to us about losing a pet, it&apos;s impacts on parents, and how to break the news to kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
	<enclosure url="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147312/episodes/18503116-the-one-with-our-intern-bryan-ruiz.mp3" length="40442056" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure>
	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David receives a special letter in the mail, Gavin dives into the gender differences in sports, we tackle &#34;Where do babies come from?,&#34; we rank the top 3 things to do with your kids in the dead of winter, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster and fellow gay Bryan Ruiz who talks to us about losing a pet, it&apos;s impacts on parents, and how to break the news to kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
	<itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David receives a special letter in the mail, Gavin dives into the gender differences in sports, we tackle &#34;Where do babies come from?,&#34; we rank the top 3 things to do with your kids in the dead of winter, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster and fellow gay Bryan Ruiz who talks to us about losing a pet, it&apos;s impacts on parents, and how to break the news to kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with a combined credit score of 435</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-a-combined-credit-score-of-435/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2026 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18464337</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, we are BACK baby, with the same tired old bullshit we&apos;ve been peddling for years. David recants his Disney cruise vacation while Gavin tap dances in Alabama.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? SPEAKER_01: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes Gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. SPEAKER_01: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. SPEAKER_01: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H E Y G A D D I E S dot com. SPEAKER_00: 0:58 You know, actually my kids were really awesome yesterday, but I&#39;m not sure it&#39;s worth what? No, that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not this show. That&#39;s another show. Take that shit somewhere else. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:25 So happy New Year. SPEAKER_00: 1:27 Happy New Year. SPEAKER_01: 1:28 How are your holidays? How are my holidays? Let me start. Let me weave let me tell this tale um from the end and we&#39;ll work our way backwards. I&#39;m gonna start at the end of our vacation in the Orlando International Airport. Departures United. Um and let me tell you what my daughter decided to do. She decided that she was going to burn the airport to the fucking ground. And she was just her absolute worst self. And you know how when your kids are bad and they&#39;re bad in front of other people, knowing they can leverage the public aspect of it to calm you down a little bit. I didn&#39;t win the battle gave in. And so I grabbed her by the shirt and the pants, like I was carrying a dochin out of a burning building. Gavin: 2:21 Exactly. Actually, I was thinking an oversized dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. SPEAKER_01: 2:26 And it was by the way, it was all over. I want you to use the potty before we board the plane. And she said, no, over my dead body. And I said, Oh, over my dead body. And then we went back and forth. So I grab her, I pick her up like an old army backpack, and we walk into the men&#39;s room at the Orlando International Airport, and she is spitting, kicking, screaming. I get her into a stall, I close the door, I&#39;m like yanking her pants down, putting her on the body. She&#39;s like, ah, yeah, hey. It was just fucking insanity. SPEAKER_02: 2:53 Uh-huh. SPEAKER_01: 2:53 And I&#39;m I scream at her. I don&#39;t scream at her. I yell at her forcefully. Uh-huh. You do not get up until I see P coming out of that vagina. And the guy sitting on the toilet next to me goes, Jesus Christ. So it was in that moment I realized, oh, you are in public, and everyone is hearing you scream at your three-year-old that she doesn&#39;t get to stand up until P comes out of her vagina. Gavin: 3:21 It was you passed the Rubicon of everybody saying, Hey, we have you, man. We we get you. Stay strong, dad, stay strong. No, you actually went a step further and got a Jesus Christ. SPEAKER_01: 3:34 And we don&#39;t know where the Jesus Christ came from. It could have been me saying that phrase to them. It could have been the fact that, like, what is this girl on fire? Like, what is what is what is making her scream? And I wanted to be like, it&#39;s because I asked her to sit on the toilet before we got on the three-hour flight. That&#39;s that&#39;s what that yeah. Gavin: 3:50 Yeah, I would hope, I would hope that everybody gave you grace in that moment except for the Jesus Christ guy. I hope so too. Who was not wrong? Maybe his Jesus Christ also was like, Jesus Christ, this guy is a good father. SPEAKER_01: 4:04 Jesus Christ, this guy sounds really hot and rich. Yeah, he sounds really rich. Um, yeah, as a yeah, his group five economy uh boarding. Um, so my holidays, go ahead. Gavin: 4:16 Yeah, well, you were flying through Orlando, but you went on a cruise. Is that what I&#39;m remembering? A cruise with the children. I are we gonna unpack that now or later? SPEAKER_01: 4:27 Because we gotta that was my holiday. So um we had uh we&#39;ll talk about Christmas in a second, but my very generous mother received an inheritance and she decided to spend it on the family and wow provide all of us, all five of us. So me, my husband, and my two children and her uh for this three-day Disney cruise. Gavin: 4:44 Uh-huh. SPEAKER_01: 4:45 And the kids were fucking lit. They were so excited. We told them on Christmas morning, we had a whole game out about Mickey Mouse luggage. Like it was a whole, it was like one of those like white people videos from Christmas. Gavin: 4:56 And or a Disney commercial, the way they would want it to be. Yeah, white people. Did you film it in landscape though, so that you could turn it into a commercial and have and be a sponsor? And make some money. SPEAKER_01: 5:06 No, I didn&#39;t. I I don&#39;t think that way like you do, Gavin. I don&#39;t think money first. I don&#39;t read from right to left on the menu. Um, but uh I&#39;m just kidding, I&#39;m being a dick. Um but yeah, we went on this Disney cruise and they were super excited. So we made the really smart decision of flying to Orlando the morning of the cruise. So we we get into Uber, we go to the airport, we fly from Newark to Orlando, and then we take a bus from Orlando to Port Canaveral, and then we get on the masses. With the masses, but also with my three-year-old skipping her nap. This herein lies the problem is she chose violence for almost the whole trip. And I know I shit on her a lot, and I know a lot of it is three-year-old stuff, and a lot of it is she&#39;s just a a big feeling, she&#39;s got a lot of big feelings. But it was just all the things happening together. So the broad strokes are Disney cruises, the cruise ship is lovely, the staff is lovely, like they know what they&#39;re doing, like they they they have there&#39;s something going on all the time, right? Gavin: 6:06 I will say, But does that feel does that feel like overstimulation because something&#39;s always? SPEAKER_01: 6:11 It&#39;s it&#39;s the thing they do the best, which is like if you weren&#39;t looking for it, you wouldn&#39;t see characters, you wouldn&#39;t see anything overstimulating. It is very like, you know, there&#39;s a princess, but in this room at this time, like, you know, it&#39;s all very kind of hidden and lovely. I think they&#39;re trying to appeal to non-children havers. Um but the food was borderline inedible. And that&#39;s coming from somebody who has the power of an 11-year-old from Florida. You know what I mean? Gavin: 6:38 Like all you want is chicken nuggets and french fries anyway. SPEAKER_01: 6:41 And they have like a kid&#39;s area that&#39;s open all the time, which is like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, french fries. Like they know what they&#39;re doing. It was so bad that my mom, who never says anything negative about anything, was like putting her fork down at like the plated dinners, like the fancy dinners. She&#39;s like, I can&#39;t. It was it was so bad that I actually filled out one of those response surveys you get afterwards, which I never do, good or bad, I never do because I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t have the time for this. SPEAKER_02: 7:04 Right. SPEAKER_01: 7:05 It was it was so bad that I was like, this is like a huge deal. It wasn&#39;t like, oh, you accidentally got some cold eggs in the morning. Everything I chose at the buffet, at the plated dinners, at the kids&#39; area, at the ice cream, it was all just either okay or real, real bad. Did you notice anybody else complaining about it or putting their forks down? No, but I also wasn&#39;t on vacation. I was taking care of my children on a boat. Do you know what I mean? One time my husband and I snuck away after the kids went to bed as my mom watched the kids to like sit in a hot tub and drink a margarita. Other than that, we were just not not, I don&#39;t want to say babysitting. That that does actually sound way worse than it was. It&#39;s just we&#39;re we&#39;re we&#39;re leading them to activities. We&#39;re doing stuff with it is all in service of them. I did not know. Gavin: 7:49 You were the camp counselor for your children, or rather, you were the nanny at the camp counselor camp. Correct. SPEAKER_01: 7:55 And and you know, whatever. Like it the it was net positive. We had fun, they got to spend all the time with her, lots of memories. We had like adjoining rooms, which was fun. My daughter slept in the same bed as my my mom. It was like all very lovely. There&#39;s the girl side, the boy side. Um, the shows were cute enough. Like, you know, the the the kind of Broadway style shows at the end were very cute. Gavin: 8:12 Um, you know, it just were there shows, I mean talking about getting in the weeds of stuff that doesn&#39;t matter and certainly is putting our listener to to sleep. But were there shows that like beginning, middle, and an end, like Beauty and the Beast, or was it just review of of wicked villains and stuff? SPEAKER_01: 8:27 Yeah, the very so there&#39;s three so it was a three-night cruise. So every night was one of these big shows. So the first night was one of those reviews. It was like, you know, Disney through the ages kind of a deal. The second night was The Little Mermaid, and the third night was Aladdin. And they were like, they weren&#39;t the Broadway versions of these, they were like the cruise ship truncated, kind of they rewrote the opening to kind of speed through some stuff versions of this. But they were normal credit book shows. Gavin: 8:50 Everybody on the boat squeezes into theaters to watch every single one of those shows. SPEAKER_01: 8:56 Well, they have two shows at night, and it&#39;s a pretty big theater. I mean, it&#39;s a I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s not as big as a Broadway house, but it&#39;s not that far away. It&#39;s it&#39;s probably under a thousand people. I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s a pretty big theater. But I think a lot of people just don&#39;t bother because the shows are at 5 45, which is dinner time, or 8 30, which is 30 minutes past their bedtime. So it was really we let the kids stay up late for the last two shows. We didn&#39;t do the review one, we did the other two. Um, but you know, they also have those guys, those guys are kickball changing, and then they&#39;re also serving ice cream, and they&#39;re also running big, like they uh, you know, I know every cruise ship is different, but I saw this one guy who had really long hair. He was very lovely. He did the opening cruise ship, like, welcome to the boat party. He was like in the kids, like, you know, they have like kids&#39; camp during the day where you can drop off your kids, and he was like one of the people there. I saw him ushering people into the theater, and then I saw him on the stage later. Gavin: 9:44 15 minutes later, he was Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababa. Wow. SPEAKER_01: 9:48 Correct. Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 9:50 Would you would you do it again? SPEAKER_01: 9:52 No. I I I hate to say that because I I won a Disney sponsorship. And right, and thank you, Mom, by the way. I very much appreciated that. And that&#39;s why it was it was a lovely time, especially because we we had the the bill paid, but to fork over because the Disney cruise is not cheap. That is not a porn, that is not a real cruise. Gavin: 10:09 I texted you earlier today. I did not even know that you did a Disney cruise, and I was like, You rich motherfucker. Yeah, you you claim poor all the time, but yeah, but I didn&#39;t pay for it. SPEAKER_01: 10:18 But I I don&#39;t think I would pay for it again. It was just the again, the room&#39;s lovely, the staff lovely, like the way they organized it was lovely. But the the the the fact that that food was so inedible, like it made the kids kind of shitty because they were like, I&#39;m so hungry. Gavin: 10:31 I was like, I don&#39;t know what to tell you, but if you can&#39;t eat the chicken fingers, like but okay, but aside from the food, was the overall experience something that you would repeat if money were no object? SPEAKER_01: 10:40 Yes, they&#39;re they have a private, yeah, yeah. They have a private island called Castaway K, and it&#39;s uh lovely and perfect and beautiful. And they basically took a Caribbean island and they just built Disney onto it, which is kind of like invading Venezuela. Gavin: 10:52 Correct. Adjacent. Yeah, exactly. SPEAKER_01: 10:54 But they yeah, it was lovely. It was lovely and lovely beach, and they had sl they they do it really right. So yes, it&#39;s a great experience. Gavin: 11:00 Every single I I assume there&#39;s like five Disney cruises now, right? Like five big ass boats that are floating around the world. SPEAKER_01: 11:05 Five or six boats, yeah. Gavin: 11:07 Do they all go to that island the same day? SPEAKER_01: 11:09 No, no, no, no. It&#39;s like every day another cruise ship is there. And then like we went to Nassau as well, so I think that it&#39;s just one of their stops, but it&#39;s for sure the best one. And I know a lot of other cruise lines have private islands, but it&#39;s for sure the best thing because they can they can hyper-curate it. Like Nassau, Nassau&#39;s Nassau, you get off and like people there selling you cheap plastic jewelry, and it&#39;s like it&#39;s kind of like both Disney&#39;s like, no, this is a curated Disney experience. Gavin: 11:32 So the Gatriarch&#39;s takeaway for the Disney cruise is especially if somebody else is paying for it, and maybe if you sneak on some power bars to just get through the time, the magic is there, even if your children are being rotten, and even if you&#39;re just a babysitter the entire time. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. How was your Christmas? How&#39;s your holidays? It was not that exciting, uh, by any stretch of the imagination, because thank God my kids have never had any interest. We weren&#39;t really that big a yes, we were a huge Disney family while my daughter was younger. But anyway, um uh we one of the highlights was my partner actually conducted the Huntsville Symphony for their New Year&#39;s Eve uh concert. And um, he did it this actually last year, and he was such a huge sensation that they immediately invited him back. And in fact, they did a little thing. Fun fact if, you know, when a conductor can uh bows after a performance, really what the conductor is doing is giving the bow to the orchestra. They stand, they&#39;re acknowledged, and then he walks off. Sometimes he comes on for an um uh I just uh I don&#39;t know to acknowledge once again and goes off. Well, last year the orchestra stayed seated for his second bow. And at first he thought, wait, am I being insulted? What&#39;s going on? No, that&#39;s the way an orchestra gives a standing ovation, is by staying seated and giving the bow to the conductor, because usually the conductor is acknowledging the other. So anyway, he got to do that again this year. And he um this time he said, I just really want a little variety. I mean, this is like playing old Strauss music, like an old-fashioned Vienn, Vienna orchestra, New Year&#39;s Eve concert. I guess that&#39;s a thing if you&#39;re a musical person. Um he played some of that, but then he&#39;s like, Listen, Broadway&#39;s my thing. So he did a bunch of medleys of big um uh composers, like from Charles Strauss and Gershwin and whatnot. And he said, I just want to have something different. So I&#39;m gonna have somebody uh like a third-rate wannabe mediocre talent um come out of the audience and sing a song and tap dance. And that was...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we are BACK baby, with the same tired old bullshit we&apos;ve been peddling for years. David recants his Disney cruise vacation while Gavin tap dances in Alabama.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, o]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we are BACK baby, with the same tired old bullshit we&apos;ve been peddling for years. David recants his Disney cruise vacation while Gavin tap dances in Alabama.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? SPEAKER_01: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes Gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. SPEAKER_01: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. SPEAKER_01: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H E Y G A D D I E S dot com. SPEAKER_00: 0:58 You know, actually my kids were really awesome yesterday, but I&#39;m not sure it&#39;s worth what? No, that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not this show. That&#39;s another show. Take that shit somewhere else. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:25 So happy New Year. SPEAKER_00: 1:27 Happy New Year. SPEAKER_01: 1:28 How are your holidays? How are my holidays? Let me start. Let me weave let me tell this tale um from the end and we&#39;ll work our way backwards. I&#39;m gonna start at the end of our vacation in the Orlando International Airport. Departures United. Um and let me tell you what my daughter decided to do. She decided that she was going to burn the airport to the fucking ground. And she was just her absolute worst self. And you know how when your kids are bad and they&#39;re bad in front of other people, knowing they can leverage the public aspect of it to calm you down a little bit. I didn&#39;t win the battle gave in. And so I grabbed her by the shirt and the pants, like I was carrying a dochin out of a burning building. Gavin: 2:21 Exactly. Actually, I was thinking an oversized dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. SPEAKER_01: 2:26 And it was by the way, it was all over. I want you to use the potty before we board the plane. And she said, no, over my dead body. And I said, Oh, over my dead body. And then we went back and forth. So I grab her, I pick her up like an old army backpack, and we walk into the men&#39;s room at the Orlando International Airport, and she is spitting, kicking, screaming. I get her into a stall, I close the door, I&#39;m like yanking her pants down, putting her on the body. She&#39;s like, ah, yeah, hey. It was just fucking insanity. SPEAKER_02: 2:53 Uh-huh. SPEAKER_01: 2:53 And I&#39;m I scream at her. I don&#39;t scream at her. I yell at her forcefully. Uh-huh. You do not get up until I see P coming out of that vagina. And the guy sitting on the toilet next to me goes, Jesus Christ. So it was in that moment I realized, oh, you are in public, and everyone is hearing you scream at your three-year-old that she doesn&#39;t get to stand up until P comes out of her vagina. Gavin: 3:21 It was you passed the Rubicon of everybody saying, Hey, we have you, man. We we get you. Stay strong, dad, stay strong. No, you actually went a step further and got a Jesus Christ. SPEAKER_01: 3:34 And we don&#39;t know where the Jesus Christ came from. It could have been me saying that phrase to them. It could have been the fact that, like, what is this girl on fire? Like, what is what is what is making her scream? And I wanted to be like, it&#39;s because I asked her to sit on the toilet before we got on the three-hour flight. That&#39;s that&#39;s what that yeah. Gavin: 3:50 Yeah, I would hope, I would hope that everybody gave you grace in that moment except for the Jesus Christ guy. I hope so too. Who was not wrong? Maybe his Jesus Christ also was like, Jesus Christ, this guy is a good father. SPEAKER_01: 4:04 Jesus Christ, this guy sounds really hot and rich. Yeah, he sounds really rich. Um, yeah, as a yeah, his group five economy uh boarding. Um, so my holidays, go ahead. Gavin: 4:16 Yeah, well, you were flying through Orlando, but you went on a cruise. Is that what I&#39;m remembering? A cruise with the children. I are we gonna unpack that now or later? SPEAKER_01: 4:27 Because we gotta that was my holiday. So um we had uh we&#39;ll talk about Christmas in a second, but my very generous mother received an inheritance and she decided to spend it on the family and wow provide all of us, all five of us. So me, my husband, and my two children and her uh for this three-day Disney cruise. Gavin: 4:44 Uh-huh. SPEAKER_01: 4:45 And the kids were fucking lit. They were so excited. We told them on Christmas morning, we had a whole game out about Mickey Mouse luggage. Like it was a whole, it was like one of those like white people videos from Christmas. Gavin: 4:56 And or a Disney commercial, the way they would want it to be. Yeah, white people. Did you film it in landscape though, so that you could turn it into a commercial and have and be a sponsor? And make some money. SPEAKER_01: 5:06 No, I didn&#39;t. I I don&#39;t think that way like you do, Gavin. I don&#39;t think money first. I don&#39;t read from right to left on the menu. Um, but uh I&#39;m just kidding, I&#39;m being a dick. Um but yeah, we went on this Disney cruise and they were super excited. So we made the really smart decision of flying to Orlando the morning of the cruise. So we we get into Uber, we go to the airport, we fly from Newark to Orlando, and then we take a bus from Orlando to Port Canaveral, and then we get on the masses. With the masses, but also with my three-year-old skipping her nap. This herein lies the problem is she chose violence for almost the whole trip. And I know I shit on her a lot, and I know a lot of it is three-year-old stuff, and a lot of it is she&#39;s just a a big feeling, she&#39;s got a lot of big feelings. But it was just all the things happening together. So the broad strokes are Disney cruises, the cruise ship is lovely, the staff is lovely, like they know what they&#39;re doing, like they they they have there&#39;s something going on all the time, right? Gavin: 6:06 I will say, But does that feel does that feel like overstimulation because something&#39;s always? SPEAKER_01: 6:11 It&#39;s it&#39;s the thing they do the best, which is like if you weren&#39;t looking for it, you wouldn&#39;t see characters, you wouldn&#39;t see anything overstimulating. It is very like, you know, there&#39;s a princess, but in this room at this time, like, you know, it&#39;s all very kind of hidden and lovely. I think they&#39;re trying to appeal to non-children havers. Um but the food was borderline inedible. And that&#39;s coming from somebody who has the power of an 11-year-old from Florida. You know what I mean? Gavin: 6:38 Like all you want is chicken nuggets and french fries anyway. SPEAKER_01: 6:41 And they have like a kid&#39;s area that&#39;s open all the time, which is like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, french fries. Like they know what they&#39;re doing. It was so bad that my mom, who never says anything negative about anything, was like putting her fork down at like the plated dinners, like the fancy dinners. She&#39;s like, I can&#39;t. It was it was so bad that I actually filled out one of those response surveys you get afterwards, which I never do, good or bad, I never do because I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t have the time for this. SPEAKER_02: 7:04 Right. SPEAKER_01: 7:05 It was it was so bad that I was like, this is like a huge deal. It wasn&#39;t like, oh, you accidentally got some cold eggs in the morning. Everything I chose at the buffet, at the plated dinners, at the kids&#39; area, at the ice cream, it was all just either okay or real, real bad. Did you notice anybody else complaining about it or putting their forks down? No, but I also wasn&#39;t on vacation. I was taking care of my children on a boat. Do you know what I mean? One time my husband and I snuck away after the kids went to bed as my mom watched the kids to like sit in a hot tub and drink a margarita. Other than that, we were just not not, I don&#39;t want to say babysitting. That that does actually sound way worse than it was. It&#39;s just we&#39;re we&#39;re we&#39;re leading them to activities. We&#39;re doing stuff with it is all in service of them. I did not know. Gavin: 7:49 You were the camp counselor for your children, or rather, you were the nanny at the camp counselor camp. Correct. SPEAKER_01: 7:55 And and you know, whatever. Like it the it was net positive. We had fun, they got to spend all the time with her, lots of memories. We had like adjoining rooms, which was fun. My daughter slept in the same bed as my my mom. It was like all very lovely. There&#39;s the girl side, the boy side. Um, the shows were cute enough. Like, you know, the the the kind of Broadway style shows at the end were very cute. Gavin: 8:12 Um, you know, it just were there shows, I mean talking about getting in the weeds of stuff that doesn&#39;t matter and certainly is putting our listener to to sleep. But were there shows that like beginning, middle, and an end, like Beauty and the Beast, or was it just review of of wicked villains and stuff? SPEAKER_01: 8:27 Yeah, the very so there&#39;s three so it was a three-night cruise. So every night was one of these big shows. So the first night was one of those reviews. It was like, you know, Disney through the ages kind of a deal. The second night was The Little Mermaid, and the third night was Aladdin. And they were like, they weren&#39;t the Broadway versions of these, they were like the cruise ship truncated, kind of they rewrote the opening to kind of speed through some stuff versions of this. But they were normal credit book shows. Gavin: 8:50 Everybody on the boat squeezes into theaters to watch every single one of those shows. SPEAKER_01: 8:56 Well, they have two shows at night, and it&#39;s a pretty big theater. I mean, it&#39;s a I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s not as big as a Broadway house, but it&#39;s not that far away. It&#39;s it&#39;s probably under a thousand people. I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s a pretty big theater. But I think a lot of people just don&#39;t bother because the shows are at 5 45, which is dinner time, or 8 30, which is 30 minutes past their bedtime. So it was really we let the kids stay up late for the last two shows. We didn&#39;t do the review one, we did the other two. Um, but you know, they also have those guys, those guys are kickball changing, and then they&#39;re also serving ice cream, and they&#39;re also running big, like they uh, you know, I know every cruise ship is different, but I saw this one guy who had really long hair. He was very lovely. He did the opening cruise ship, like, welcome to the boat party. He was like in the kids, like, you know, they have like kids&#39; camp during the day where you can drop off your kids, and he was like one of the people there. I saw him ushering people into the theater, and then I saw him on the stage later. Gavin: 9:44 15 minutes later, he was Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababa. Wow. SPEAKER_01: 9:48 Correct. Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 9:50 Would you would you do it again? SPEAKER_01: 9:52 No. I I I hate to say that because I I won a Disney sponsorship. And right, and thank you, Mom, by the way. I very much appreciated that. And that&#39;s why it was it was a lovely time, especially because we we had the the bill paid, but to fork over because the Disney cruise is not cheap. That is not a porn, that is not a real cruise. Gavin: 10:09 I texted you earlier today. I did not even know that you did a Disney cruise, and I was like, You rich motherfucker. Yeah, you you claim poor all the time, but yeah, but I didn&#39;t pay for it. SPEAKER_01: 10:18 But I I don&#39;t think I would pay for it again. It was just the again, the room&#39;s lovely, the staff lovely, like the way they organized it was lovely. But the the the the fact that that food was so inedible, like it made the kids kind of shitty because they were like, I&#39;m so hungry. Gavin: 10:31 I was like, I don&#39;t know what to tell you, but if you can&#39;t eat the chicken fingers, like but okay, but aside from the food, was the overall experience something that you would repeat if money were no object? SPEAKER_01: 10:40 Yes, they&#39;re they have a private, yeah, yeah. They have a private island called Castaway K, and it&#39;s uh lovely and perfect and beautiful. And they basically took a Caribbean island and they just built Disney onto it, which is kind of like invading Venezuela. Gavin: 10:52 Correct. Adjacent. Yeah, exactly. SPEAKER_01: 10:54 But they yeah, it was lovely. It was lovely and lovely beach, and they had sl they they do it really right. So yes, it&#39;s a great experience. Gavin: 11:00 Every single I I assume there&#39;s like five Disney cruises now, right? Like five big ass boats that are floating around the world. SPEAKER_01: 11:05 Five or six boats, yeah. Gavin: 11:07 Do they all go to that island the same day? SPEAKER_01: 11:09 No, no, no, no. It&#39;s like every day another cruise ship is there. And then like we went to Nassau as well, so I think that it&#39;s just one of their stops, but it&#39;s for sure the best one. And I know a lot of other cruise lines have private islands, but it&#39;s for sure the best thing because they can they can hyper-curate it. Like Nassau, Nassau&#39;s Nassau, you get off and like people there selling you cheap plastic jewelry, and it&#39;s like it&#39;s kind of like both Disney&#39;s like, no, this is a curated Disney experience. Gavin: 11:32 So the Gatriarch&#39;s takeaway for the Disney cruise is especially if somebody else is paying for it, and maybe if you sneak on some power bars to just get through the time, the magic is there, even if your children are being rotten, and even if you&#39;re just a babysitter the entire time. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. How was your Christmas? How&#39;s your holidays? It was not that exciting, uh, by any stretch of the imagination, because thank God my kids have never had any interest. We weren&#39;t really that big a yes, we were a huge Disney family while my daughter was younger. But anyway, um uh we one of the highlights was my partner actually conducted the Huntsville Symphony for their New Year&#39;s Eve uh concert. And um, he did it this actually last year, and he was such a huge sensation that they immediately invited him back. And in fact, they did a little thing. Fun fact if, you know, when a conductor can uh bows after a performance, really what the conductor is doing is giving the bow to the orchestra. They stand, they&#39;re acknowledged, and then he walks off. Sometimes he comes on for an um uh I just uh I don&#39;t know to acknowledge once again and goes off. Well, last year the orchestra stayed seated for his second bow. And at first he thought, wait, am I being insulted? What&#39;s going on? No, that&#39;s the way an orchestra gives a standing ovation, is by staying seated and giving the bow to the conductor, because usually the conductor is acknowledging the other. So anyway, he got to do that again this year. And he um this time he said, I just really want a little variety. I mean, this is like playing old Strauss music, like an old-fashioned Vienn, Vienna orchestra, New Year&#39;s Eve concert. I guess that&#39;s a thing if you&#39;re a musical person. Um he played some of that, but then he&#39;s like, Listen, Broadway&#39;s my thing. So he did a bunch of medleys of big um uh composers, like from Charles Strauss and Gershwin and whatnot. And he said, I just want to have something different. So I&#39;m gonna have somebody uh like a third-rate wannabe mediocre talent um come out of the audience and sing a song and tap dance. And that was...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we are BACK baby, with the same tired old bullshit we&apos;ve been peddling for years. David recants his Disney cruise vacation while Gavin tap dances in Alabama.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? SPEAKER_01: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes Gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. SPEAKER_01: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. SPEAKER_01: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H E Y G A D D I E S dot com. SPEAKER_00: 0:58 You know, actually my kids were really awesome yesterday, but I&#39;m not sure it&#39;s worth what? No, that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not this show. That&#39;s another show. Take that shit somewhere else. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:25 So happy New Year. SPEAKER_00: 1:27 Happy New Year. SPEAKER_01: 1:28 How are your holidays? How are my holidays? Let me start. Let me weave let me tell this tale um from the end and we&#39;ll work our way backwards. I&#39;m gonna start at the end of our vacation in the Orlando International Airport. Departures United. Um and let me tell you what my daughter decided to do. She decided that she was going to burn the airport to the fucking ground. And she was just her absolute worst self. And you know how when your kids are bad and they&#39;re bad in front of other people, knowing they can leverage the public aspect of it to calm you down a little bit. I didn&#39;t win the battle gave in. And so I grabbed her by the shirt and the pants, like I was carrying a dochin out of a burning building. Gavin: 2:21 Exactly. Actually, I was thinking an oversized dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. SPEAKER_01: 2:26 And it was by the way, it was all over. I want you to use the potty before we board the plane. And she said, no, over my dead body. And I said, Oh, over my dead body. And then we went back and forth. So I grab her, I pick her up like an old army backpack, and we walk into the men&#39;s room at the Orlando International Airport, and she is spitting, kicking, screaming. I get her into a stall, I close the door, I&#39;m like yanking her pants down, putting her on the body. She&#39;s like, ah, yeah, hey. It was just fucking insanity. SPEAKER_02: 2:53 Uh-huh. SPEAKER_01: 2:53 And I&#39;m I scream at her. I don&#39;t scream at her. I yell at her forcefully. Uh-huh. You do not get up until I see P coming out of that vagina. And the guy sitting on the toilet next to me goes, Jesus Christ. So it was in that moment I realized, oh, you are in public, and everyone is hearing you scream at your three-year-old that she doesn&#39;t get to stand up until P comes out of her vagina. Gavin: 3:21 It was you passed the Rubicon of everybody saying, Hey, we have you, man. We we get you. Stay strong, dad, stay strong. No, you actually went a step further and got a Jesus Christ. SPEAKER_01: 3:34 And we don&#39;t know where the Jesus Christ came from. It could have been me saying that phrase to them. It could have been the fact that, like, what is this girl on fire? Like, what is what is what]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we are BACK baby, with the same tired old bullshit we&apos;ve been peddling for years. David recants his Disney cruise vacation while Gavin tap dances in Alabama.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? SPEAKER_01: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes Gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavi]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with our Listener</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-our-listener/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 Dec 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18360693</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and I shut our big fat mouths and finally let someone else talk: our listener! We are fortunate to have four of our listener join us to tell us a little about them, their place in the parenting world, and why in the hell would they keep listening to this garbage every week.  We are taking a short break over the holidays, and will be back at you with the same garbage podcast starting on January 7th, 2026. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. David: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? David: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot, gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. David: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. David: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. Gavin: 0:58 Okay. Um talk about putting pressure on you. SPEAKER_01: 1:04 I know. Um to the program for a beach and a car call of gatejuck. And this is Gatriarchs. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 1:30 It is almost the end of the year. I I just saw a meme of uh Golden Girls episode where Dorothy opened the door on her old husband. I know this is really dating me. You&#39;re welcome, Stan. And it was labeled 2025. And she opened it, he said hi, and she slammed the door. And uh that was her view of 2025, and I completely agree. But you know what, David? I am listener must be so sick of hearing us, right? Like, hey, listener, let me make this clear. Thank you for coming and joining us. And uh, we get a lot of meaning out of this, and we hope that you are enjoying yourself, though. Like, why on earth? Why? Why? But people have got to be tired of listening to us, right? Listener. David: 2:10 So um They are. They&#39;re very tired of us, but for whatever reason, people keep listening to us. And so I thought I would um confront, um, I would call your bluff listener, and I&#39;m gonna have you on the show. And guess what? We have a listener on the show today. So today is an all-listener special. Gavin and I are not gonna yap our mouths at the beginning. We&#39;re not gonna do a top three list, we&#39;re not gonna do a something great. We&#39;re not even gonna make mistakes, not linguistic or grammatical. No cold opens. We&#39;re gonna go right into it because we want to dedicate this episode, our last episode of the year of last episode of 2025, to our one singular listener who has been the reason we kept doing this. And so we thought we would spend an entire episode honoring them and have a few of them on just to kind of get to know who the fuck is listening to this show. So we are going to take a little bit of a break after today. Uh, we will be back at you with the same tired bullshit on January 7th of 2026. Gavin: 3:08 But in the meantime, uh in the meantime, please enjoy your holidays. Uh, please um have lots and lots of pleasure in your life leading us into a fan fucking tastic 2026, okay? David: 3:22 Our next guest is Gatriarch&#39;s Royalty. And I don&#39;t say that lightly because not only is he, you know, smart and hot and funny and created big systemic change in the laws of Mexico, but more importantly, he is the legend who created his very own Gatriarch&#39;s merch for our fault, Neita. Sure did his now infamous listener t-shirt. But even with all of those accolades, his biggest achievement is coming in about six months, for he is on his own yellow brick road to becoming a new dad. Please welcome to the show the one, the only, the man, the myth, the listener, Daniel Barzowski. Hey guys. Daniel, thank you for coming and joining us again. Thank you for having me. I&#39;m so excited to be part of this one. Our listener, I mean, you are our listener. If your shirt says anything, you are the listener. I know we joke about that all the time, but listen, you&#39;re the only one who&#39;s made a shirt that says listener on it. SPEAKER_00: 4:18 I&#39;m gonna claim it, you know. Um, if uh I start to realize that you do have more than one, but if there&#39;s only gonna be one, I&#39;ll claim it. We don&#39;t. Gavin: 4:26 Yeah. And I uh I think about that shirt all the time and how we have left all opportunities on the table just with you, where you should be the one capitalizing upon it and making millions of dollars from those t-shirts, because we&#39;re clearly not the ones gonna get our shit together and make millions of dollars from co-branding with you. But at some point I hope we do. David: 4:46 But Gavin, here&#39;s the thing if we ever got our shit together, if we ever planned better, if we ever had merch, if we ever did more stuff, I think people would fall out of love with us because they love how messy and terrible we are at this. Is that true, Daniel? Is that part of what you love like the show? SPEAKER_00: 5:01 Absolutely. You know, guys, I I I&#39;ll talk a bit about what why I started listening, but I am obviously not a dad yet. Um, I started listening two years before we even got to this point, but it started because everywhere where I was listening to and trying to find information, everything seemed too pretty and too put together, and we were not there yet. And we didn&#39;t think that that could ever be possible. And all of a sudden you guys were there and saying, This dream that you guys have is not gonna be as perfect and shiny and wonderful. And it just resonated, right? And and it felt truth. So that&#39;s why we started listening and we have been listening for the past couple of years. David: 5:41 Gatriarchs, dream killers. Um, I I jumped ahead of the first question. I&#39;m so sorry. Even though you&#39;re in utero, how did your kid drive you nuts today? SPEAKER_00: 5:51 Well, um, let&#39;s put it this way. Uh, a year ago, my Instagram feed used to be a lot of just like hot guys, maybe an ad of underwear, an ad of like a luxurious vacation, because of course we&#39;re double income no kids, we could afford that. Uh today, if you look at my Insta, it&#39;s all what&#39;s the difference between a stroller and a travel system? Uh it&#39;s uh how is your relationship gonna die be once you have a newborn? Um so yeah, hasn&#39;t even been born, but already messing with us. David: 6:23 Oh my gosh, that is really funny. It is amazing how your your your all of that can change so dramatically. Like, but although my if you go to my like search bar in my Instagram, it&#39;s still dads dance. It&#39;s like dads dancing with their yeah, it&#39;s abs, but it&#39;s mostly like guys dancing in like gray sweatpants with no underwear on, and they&#39;re just like, hey, look at this funny dance I&#39;m doing. And we&#39;re like, you know what the fuck you&#39;re doing. You know what you&#39;re doing, and I&#39;m still watching it. Gavin: 6:48 Um it sounds like your Instagram feed though is such such a self-fulfilling prophecy, and let&#39;s just blame the capitalism, right? Where they&#39;re saying you, your whole relationship and your life is gonna suck here. So here&#39;s all the ways that we&#39;re gonna sell shit to you so that your life doesn&#39;t suck. And in reality, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s just a matter of coping with kids. That&#39;s just good luck. Listen to a podcast or start one. SPEAKER_00: 7:09 Well, it&#39;s a little bit of that, and to be honest, it&#39;s also you it makes you realize how much of this is targeted to women. Every single product is mommy this, mommy that, and uh in a way that, well, first obviously doesn&#39;t resonate with us, but also just makes you realize how much of the burden ends up on women, just making the assumption, even in 2025, right? And so I think it&#39;s it&#39;s just been interesting uh to to look at it from this perspective now. David: 7:35 I&#39;m always shocked when I am around straight people, uh, period. Like I can&#39;t believe they exist. But also in for for that exact scenario where I&#39;m like, are you still defaulting to like that the mom does everything? Like the dad will just it just is assumed. The dad just is like, I&#39;m going for a run, and he goes outside, and I&#39;m like, wait, wait, wait, did you not talk about who well then who&#39;s gonna take care of the kid? Well, it&#39;s always assumed the mommy. So you while as a gay dad, it&#39;s kind of frustrating sometimes to be like everything&#39;s a mommy and me class, but then you&#39;re like, Yeah, because straight straight dads are sometimes shitty and they default to like mom has to do everything. But wait, I I I I want to go back a little bit. Tell me how you what when you we met you at the fall meetup, you were like, hey, you know, just FYI were about to become brightener, very exciting. And now you are. So tell us a little bit about your particular process of becoming dads. SPEAKER_00: 8:23 Yeah, so we started looking into it. Gosh, it must have been like 2022. Went to the Men Having Babies conference, and we just left that conference completely overwhelmed. Really? Uh, I know they they do a great job as a nonprofit, they give you a lot of information, but then they have the marketplace next to it, and everyone&#39;s trying to sell you something and like push cupcakes with little sperm on your face, and just like give you a problem. David: 8:49 Normally, not a not a problem for me, but yes. SPEAKER_00: 8:51 It&#39;s uh yeah, and you know, it&#39;s not not something you want to do at a conference precisely, but uh uh yeah. So I remember having this moment where we went to one of the stands because we were trying to like figure out how much does this cost in total, right? And everyone would give you a, well, it&#39;s this much, and that&#39;s the entire journey, but we don&#39;t cover the clinic. And so you go talk to the clinic, and the clinic would be like, Oh, it&#39;s this much, but we don&#39;t cover the cover the eggs or the so at the end of the day, we&#39;re just exhausted. We went to one of the stands and we said, Well, just give us give it to us straight. And one of the guys that was there had just gone through a journey um and was now part of a surrogacy agency, and he said, You&#39;re looking at around 200K in total. And I remember both of us just being in shock, and and and we said, Is that is that real? Is that the actual cost? And and do your do your clients really just have 200k in their bank to just pull out and pay for this. And this guy just very blank faced said, Yeah, uh, surrogacy&#39;s not for everybody, you know? And it just, you know, we left the conference, we put everything in the freezer for like two years, didn&#39;t do anything. Um, and then little by little said, well, because we started seeing the prices are just going up, up, up, up, up. Our savings account wasn&#39;t going up, up, up at the same rate. So we said, let&#39;s just get started. And we took the very first step, knowing that we didn&#39;t have the full money, uh, you know, all the funds. Uh, but I think if we hadn&#39;t taken that first step, we&#39;d still be waiting for the day when we could afford this. So that&#39;s how we got started. Gavin: 10:24 That&#39;s so classic that uh you you&#39;re waiting for the right time. And we just we say this many, many times, not the least of which our last interview, and there&#39;s never a good time. Just get started somehow, and uh you&#39;ll figure it out. David: 10:34 But also, I I I&#39;ve said this many times in the podcast. I had the exact same experience I&#39;ve met having babies, where I was like so thankful for this place and I learned so much, but I walked out of there, so our heads were just down because I was like, I don&#39;t on what plan, and then of course I was I was sad that I was like, I can&#39;t afford surgacy the way I thought I could. And then I was like, and why do all gays have money? Where is all the gays getting the money? I don&#39;t, I feel like we we make good money, and then I look at all these gays and they&#39;re like, Oh, yeah, I have 200k to buy a kid. I&#39;m like, what are you talking about? What do you do for work? So no, I I I had that exact same experience, but I would agree with Gavin that like there is and kind of what you did, there is this kind of leap and the net shall appear kind of mentality you kind of have to have. Um, because there&#39;s never a good time, there&#39;s never a financially appropriate time uh to do it. You just have to kind of do it. SPEAKER_00: 11:21 Yeah, and uh we got very lucky because you know, we started, we took a first step, pretty much put all our savings into it, and then uh a couple of months later, I was able to land a job where at least one of the parts of the journey, which was the the IBF side of things, was covered by my uh current employer. So that gave us a huge boost to be able to cover that part. And then, you know, from the moment you do IBF to the moment you find a sur uh surrogate, you actually have like a year and a half. So that was a lot of also us just saving and finding other ways to afford this. Gavin: 11:54 So I feel like this is just an appetizer of a longer conversation we want to have with you at some point, Daniel. But we wanted to um just get you in the pipeline as listener, but I am dying to ask you the next question, which is you sued the Mexican government in 2018. Why? David: 12:14 I told you, Gavin, I told you this would be a catnip for Gavin when we did our pre-interview. I was like, Gavin is going to get it. Gavin: 12:20 I&#39;ve been vibrating since we started. I don&#39;t care about aside from the only thing I&#39;ve heard you say is shoving cupcakes with sperm in our faces. Other than that, I&#39;ve heard I&#39;ve been thinking about that too, Gavin. I&#39;ve been thinking about that a lot. SPEAKER_00: 12:32 Well, uh, so my husband and I are both from Mexico, uh, born and raised there. And about nine years ago, we moved to New York City to pursue a grad school uh uh program, and we had you know gotten engaged, but we were students, so we couldn&#39;t afford a wedding, we wanted to be like the big party and everything. And so um, as we were coming to the end of our grad program, you know, you get your visa expires, and then you have one year to find a job. And if you can&#39;t find a job, then you&#39;re out of the country. And so I was lucky to find a job. My husband was still searching, and then we start realizing, well, if both of us get married, then at least advise him some time to stay in the country with me while he continues to find a job. So we&#39;re looking into things. Uh, the Mexican government typically people can go to the consulate and get married under Mexican law at the consulate the same way they get like a birth certificate and and so on. But the problem was that the law in Mexico that you know is valid in consulates hadn&#39;t been changed since like 1812. And to give you an idea of how ridiculous it was, it wasn&#39;t even that it said marriage is between a man and a woman. It said marriage for men must be at least at the age of 16, for women at least at the age of 14. So that&#39;s like how old this this crazy law was. But we went and filed for...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and I shut our big fat mouths and finally let someone else talk: our listener! We are fortunate to have four of our listener join us to tell us a little about them, their place in the parenting world, and why in the hell would they keep ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and I shut our big fat mouths and finally let someone else talk: our listener! We are fortunate to have four of our listener join us to tell us a little about them, their place in the parenting world, and why in the hell would they keep listening to this garbage every week.  We are taking a short break over the holidays, and will be back at you with the same garbage podcast starting on January 7th, 2026. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. David: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? David: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot, gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. David: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. David: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. Gavin: 0:58 Okay. Um talk about putting pressure on you. SPEAKER_01: 1:04 I know. Um to the program for a beach and a car call of gatejuck. And this is Gatriarchs. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 1:30 It is almost the end of the year. I I just saw a meme of uh Golden Girls episode where Dorothy opened the door on her old husband. I know this is really dating me. You&#39;re welcome, Stan. And it was labeled 2025. And she opened it, he said hi, and she slammed the door. And uh that was her view of 2025, and I completely agree. But you know what, David? I am listener must be so sick of hearing us, right? Like, hey, listener, let me make this clear. Thank you for coming and joining us. And uh, we get a lot of meaning out of this, and we hope that you are enjoying yourself, though. Like, why on earth? Why? Why? But people have got to be tired of listening to us, right? Listener. David: 2:10 So um They are. They&#39;re very tired of us, but for whatever reason, people keep listening to us. And so I thought I would um confront, um, I would call your bluff listener, and I&#39;m gonna have you on the show. And guess what? We have a listener on the show today. So today is an all-listener special. Gavin and I are not gonna yap our mouths at the beginning. We&#39;re not gonna do a top three list, we&#39;re not gonna do a something great. We&#39;re not even gonna make mistakes, not linguistic or grammatical. No cold opens. We&#39;re gonna go right into it because we want to dedicate this episode, our last episode of the year of last episode of 2025, to our one singular listener who has been the reason we kept doing this. And so we thought we would spend an entire episode honoring them and have a few of them on just to kind of get to know who the fuck is listening to this show. So we are going to take a little bit of a break after today. Uh, we will be back at you with the same tired bullshit on January 7th of 2026. Gavin: 3:08 But in the meantime, uh in the meantime, please enjoy your holidays. Uh, please um have lots and lots of pleasure in your life leading us into a fan fucking tastic 2026, okay? David: 3:22 Our next guest is Gatriarch&#39;s Royalty. And I don&#39;t say that lightly because not only is he, you know, smart and hot and funny and created big systemic change in the laws of Mexico, but more importantly, he is the legend who created his very own Gatriarch&#39;s merch for our fault, Neita. Sure did his now infamous listener t-shirt. But even with all of those accolades, his biggest achievement is coming in about six months, for he is on his own yellow brick road to becoming a new dad. Please welcome to the show the one, the only, the man, the myth, the listener, Daniel Barzowski. Hey guys. Daniel, thank you for coming and joining us again. Thank you for having me. I&#39;m so excited to be part of this one. Our listener, I mean, you are our listener. If your shirt says anything, you are the listener. I know we joke about that all the time, but listen, you&#39;re the only one who&#39;s made a shirt that says listener on it. SPEAKER_00: 4:18 I&#39;m gonna claim it, you know. Um, if uh I start to realize that you do have more than one, but if there&#39;s only gonna be one, I&#39;ll claim it. We don&#39;t. Gavin: 4:26 Yeah. And I uh I think about that shirt all the time and how we have left all opportunities on the table just with you, where you should be the one capitalizing upon it and making millions of dollars from those t-shirts, because we&#39;re clearly not the ones gonna get our shit together and make millions of dollars from co-branding with you. But at some point I hope we do. David: 4:46 But Gavin, here&#39;s the thing if we ever got our shit together, if we ever planned better, if we ever had merch, if we ever did more stuff, I think people would fall out of love with us because they love how messy and terrible we are at this. Is that true, Daniel? Is that part of what you love like the show? SPEAKER_00: 5:01 Absolutely. You know, guys, I I I&#39;ll talk a bit about what why I started listening, but I am obviously not a dad yet. Um, I started listening two years before we even got to this point, but it started because everywhere where I was listening to and trying to find information, everything seemed too pretty and too put together, and we were not there yet. And we didn&#39;t think that that could ever be possible. And all of a sudden you guys were there and saying, This dream that you guys have is not gonna be as perfect and shiny and wonderful. And it just resonated, right? And and it felt truth. So that&#39;s why we started listening and we have been listening for the past couple of years. David: 5:41 Gatriarchs, dream killers. Um, I I jumped ahead of the first question. I&#39;m so sorry. Even though you&#39;re in utero, how did your kid drive you nuts today? SPEAKER_00: 5:51 Well, um, let&#39;s put it this way. Uh, a year ago, my Instagram feed used to be a lot of just like hot guys, maybe an ad of underwear, an ad of like a luxurious vacation, because of course we&#39;re double income no kids, we could afford that. Uh today, if you look at my Insta, it&#39;s all what&#39;s the difference between a stroller and a travel system? Uh it&#39;s uh how is your relationship gonna die be once you have a newborn? Um so yeah, hasn&#39;t even been born, but already messing with us. David: 6:23 Oh my gosh, that is really funny. It is amazing how your your your all of that can change so dramatically. Like, but although my if you go to my like search bar in my Instagram, it&#39;s still dads dance. It&#39;s like dads dancing with their yeah, it&#39;s abs, but it&#39;s mostly like guys dancing in like gray sweatpants with no underwear on, and they&#39;re just like, hey, look at this funny dance I&#39;m doing. And we&#39;re like, you know what the fuck you&#39;re doing. You know what you&#39;re doing, and I&#39;m still watching it. Gavin: 6:48 Um it sounds like your Instagram feed though is such such a self-fulfilling prophecy, and let&#39;s just blame the capitalism, right? Where they&#39;re saying you, your whole relationship and your life is gonna suck here. So here&#39;s all the ways that we&#39;re gonna sell shit to you so that your life doesn&#39;t suck. And in reality, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s just a matter of coping with kids. That&#39;s just good luck. Listen to a podcast or start one. SPEAKER_00: 7:09 Well, it&#39;s a little bit of that, and to be honest, it&#39;s also you it makes you realize how much of this is targeted to women. Every single product is mommy this, mommy that, and uh in a way that, well, first obviously doesn&#39;t resonate with us, but also just makes you realize how much of the burden ends up on women, just making the assumption, even in 2025, right? And so I think it&#39;s it&#39;s just been interesting uh to to look at it from this perspective now. David: 7:35 I&#39;m always shocked when I am around straight people, uh, period. Like I can&#39;t believe they exist. But also in for for that exact scenario where I&#39;m like, are you still defaulting to like that the mom does everything? Like the dad will just it just is assumed. The dad just is like, I&#39;m going for a run, and he goes outside, and I&#39;m like, wait, wait, wait, did you not talk about who well then who&#39;s gonna take care of the kid? Well, it&#39;s always assumed the mommy. So you while as a gay dad, it&#39;s kind of frustrating sometimes to be like everything&#39;s a mommy and me class, but then you&#39;re like, Yeah, because straight straight dads are sometimes shitty and they default to like mom has to do everything. But wait, I I I I want to go back a little bit. Tell me how you what when you we met you at the fall meetup, you were like, hey, you know, just FYI were about to become brightener, very exciting. And now you are. So tell us a little bit about your particular process of becoming dads. SPEAKER_00: 8:23 Yeah, so we started looking into it. Gosh, it must have been like 2022. Went to the Men Having Babies conference, and we just left that conference completely overwhelmed. Really? Uh, I know they they do a great job as a nonprofit, they give you a lot of information, but then they have the marketplace next to it, and everyone&#39;s trying to sell you something and like push cupcakes with little sperm on your face, and just like give you a problem. David: 8:49 Normally, not a not a problem for me, but yes. SPEAKER_00: 8:51 It&#39;s uh yeah, and you know, it&#39;s not not something you want to do at a conference precisely, but uh uh yeah. So I remember having this moment where we went to one of the stands because we were trying to like figure out how much does this cost in total, right? And everyone would give you a, well, it&#39;s this much, and that&#39;s the entire journey, but we don&#39;t cover the clinic. And so you go talk to the clinic, and the clinic would be like, Oh, it&#39;s this much, but we don&#39;t cover the cover the eggs or the so at the end of the day, we&#39;re just exhausted. We went to one of the stands and we said, Well, just give us give it to us straight. And one of the guys that was there had just gone through a journey um and was now part of a surrogacy agency, and he said, You&#39;re looking at around 200K in total. And I remember both of us just being in shock, and and and we said, Is that is that real? Is that the actual cost? And and do your do your clients really just have 200k in their bank to just pull out and pay for this. And this guy just very blank faced said, Yeah, uh, surrogacy&#39;s not for everybody, you know? And it just, you know, we left the conference, we put everything in the freezer for like two years, didn&#39;t do anything. Um, and then little by little said, well, because we started seeing the prices are just going up, up, up, up, up. Our savings account wasn&#39;t going up, up, up at the same rate. So we said, let&#39;s just get started. And we took the very first step, knowing that we didn&#39;t have the full money, uh, you know, all the funds. Uh, but I think if we hadn&#39;t taken that first step, we&#39;d still be waiting for the day when we could afford this. So that&#39;s how we got started. Gavin: 10:24 That&#39;s so classic that uh you you&#39;re waiting for the right time. And we just we say this many, many times, not the least of which our last interview, and there&#39;s never a good time. Just get started somehow, and uh you&#39;ll figure it out. David: 10:34 But also, I I I&#39;ve said this many times in the podcast. I had the exact same experience I&#39;ve met having babies, where I was like so thankful for this place and I learned so much, but I walked out of there, so our heads were just down because I was like, I don&#39;t on what plan, and then of course I was I was sad that I was like, I can&#39;t afford surgacy the way I thought I could. And then I was like, and why do all gays have money? Where is all the gays getting the money? I don&#39;t, I feel like we we make good money, and then I look at all these gays and they&#39;re like, Oh, yeah, I have 200k to buy a kid. I&#39;m like, what are you talking about? What do you do for work? So no, I I I had that exact same experience, but I would agree with Gavin that like there is and kind of what you did, there is this kind of leap and the net shall appear kind of mentality you kind of have to have. Um, because there&#39;s never a good time, there&#39;s never a financially appropriate time uh to do it. You just have to kind of do it. SPEAKER_00: 11:21 Yeah, and uh we got very lucky because you know, we started, we took a first step, pretty much put all our savings into it, and then uh a couple of months later, I was able to land a job where at least one of the parts of the journey, which was the the IBF side of things, was covered by my uh current employer. So that gave us a huge boost to be able to cover that part. And then, you know, from the moment you do IBF to the moment you find a sur uh surrogate, you actually have like a year and a half. So that was a lot of also us just saving and finding other ways to afford this. Gavin: 11:54 So I feel like this is just an appetizer of a longer conversation we want to have with you at some point, Daniel. But we wanted to um just get you in the pipeline as listener, but I am dying to ask you the next question, which is you sued the Mexican government in 2018. Why? David: 12:14 I told you, Gavin, I told you this would be a catnip for Gavin when we did our pre-interview. I was like, Gavin is going to get it. Gavin: 12:20 I&#39;ve been vibrating since we started. I don&#39;t care about aside from the only thing I&#39;ve heard you say is shoving cupcakes with sperm in our faces. Other than that, I&#39;ve heard I&#39;ve been thinking about that too, Gavin. I&#39;ve been thinking about that a lot. SPEAKER_00: 12:32 Well, uh, so my husband and I are both from Mexico, uh, born and raised there. And about nine years ago, we moved to New York City to pursue a grad school uh uh program, and we had you know gotten engaged, but we were students, so we couldn&#39;t afford a wedding, we wanted to be like the big party and everything. And so um, as we were coming to the end of our grad program, you know, you get your visa expires, and then you have one year to find a job. And if you can&#39;t find a job, then you&#39;re out of the country. And so I was lucky to find a job. My husband was still searching, and then we start realizing, well, if both of us get married, then at least advise him some time to stay in the country with me while he continues to find a job. So we&#39;re looking into things. Uh, the Mexican government typically people can go to the consulate and get married under Mexican law at the consulate the same way they get like a birth certificate and and so on. But the problem was that the law in Mexico that you know is valid in consulates hadn&#39;t been changed since like 1812. And to give you an idea of how ridiculous it was, it wasn&#39;t even that it said marriage is between a man and a woman. It said marriage for men must be at least at the age of 16, for women at least at the age of 14. So that&#39;s like how old this this crazy law was. But we went and filed for...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and I shut our big fat mouths and finally let someone else talk: our listener! We are fortunate to have four of our listener join us to tell us a little about them, their place in the parenting world, and why in the hell would they keep listening to this garbage every week.  We are taking a short break over the holidays, and will be back at you with the same garbage podcast starting on January 7th, 2026. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. David: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? David: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let the world know that you&#39;re a dad. But like a hot, gay one. David, you literally will not take off your yes gaddy hat. Yeah, but you&#39;re weirdly committed to your caught in a dad romance t-shirt, like emotionally and spiritually. Gavin: 0:33 I own it. It&#39;s perfect for school pickup, play dates, or explaining to strangers why your kid has two dads and better outfits than they do. David: 0:40 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off with code GAY20. That&#39;s G-A-Y-20. Gavin: 0:46 Dressed like the Gatriarch you are, or at least the one you used to be before bedtime was at eight. David: 0:51 Go to heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. Gavin: 0:58 Okay. Um talk about putting pressure on you. SPEAKER_01: 1:04 I know. Um to the program for a beach and a car call of gatejuck. And this is Gatriarchs. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 1:30 It is almost the end of the year. I I just saw a meme of uh Golden Girls episode where Dorothy opened the door on her old husband. I know this is really dating me. You&#39;re welcome, Stan. And it was labeled 2025. And she opened it, he said hi, and she slammed the door. And uh that was her view of 2025, and I completely agree. But you know what, David? I am listener must be so sick of hearing us, right? Like, hey, listener, let me make this clear. Thank you for coming and joining us. And uh, we get a lot of meaning out of this, and we hope that you are enjoying yourself, though. Like, why on earth? Why? Why? But people have got to be tired of listening to us, right? Listener. David: 2:10 So um They are. They&#39;re very tired of us, but for whatever reason, people keep listening to us. And so I thought I would um confront, um, I would call your bluff listener, and I&#39;m gonna have you on the show. And guess what? We have a listener on the show today. So today is an all-listener special. Gavin and I are not gonna yap our mouths at the beginning. We&#39;re not gonna do a top three list, we&#39;re not gonna do a something great. We&#39;re not even gonna make mistakes, not linguistic or grammatical. No cold opens. We&#39;re gonna go right into it because we want to dedicate this episode, our last episode of the year of last episode of 2025, to our one singular listener who has been the reason we kept doing this. And so we thought we would spend an entire episode honoring them and have a few of them on just to kind of get to know who the fuck is listening to this show. So we are going to take a little bit of a break after today. Uh, we will be back at you with the same tired bullshit on January 7th of 2026. Gavin: 3:08 But in the meantime, uh in the meantime, please enjoy your holidays. Uh, please um have lots and lots of pleasure in your life leading us into a fan fucking tastic 2026, okay? David: 3:22 Our next guest is Gatriarch&#39;s Royalty. And I don&#39;t say that lightly because not only is he, you know, smart and hot and funny and created big systemic change in the laws of Mexico, but more impo]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and I shut our big fat mouths and finally let someone else talk: our listener! We are fortunate to have four of our listener join us to tell us a little about them, their place in the parenting world, and why in the hell would they keep listening to this garbage every week.  We are taking a short break over the holidays, and will be back at you with the same garbage podcast starting on January 7th, 2026. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Quick question. David: 0:01 Why is gay dad fashion either sad hoodie or pride once a year? Well, thankfully, Gaddy&#39;s exists because they understand that gay dads deserve clothes that say, I&#39;m nurturing, I&#39;m exhausted, and still hot. Gavin: 0:13 Gaddies was started by a gay dad who looked around and said, Why do straight dads get all the bad graphic tees? David: 0:19 They make hats, tees, hoodies to let]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>Mid-week bonus: The fiasco behind SurroConnections and Megan Hall Greenberg</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/mid-week-bonus-the-fiasco-behind-surroconnections-and-megan-hall-greenberg/</link>
	<pubDate>Fri, 12 Dec 2025 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18344668</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[We wanted to take a few minutes out of your week to acknowledge the awful experience IP&apos;s and surrogates alike are dealing with during the collapse (and possible fraud) of SurroConnections. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Okay, Gavin, we&#39;re doing something a little bit different. We have a little bit of a mini bonus thing happening this Friday, December 12th. I love that. Gavin: 0:08 Yeah, I&#39;m always here for a Friday afternoon bonus. David: 0:11 It is. It is not great news. I just felt like we needed to acknowledge the fact that there was some kind of drama happening in the surrogacy space that we are tangentially connected to in a weird way. So for those listeners out there who don&#39;t know, there is a that was never uh may I just say it never fails to make me giggle when you say for all our listener out there. Gavin: 0:34 I&#39;ve it&#39;s always sorry, that was very self-referential. Sorry, I just broke your flow and which you love so much. But hey, it&#39;s a Friday bonus. David: 0:42 Like hey, it feels really good to start a show and get the momentum going, especially about a very serious topic. So there is uh a circusy company called Ciro Connections, and we had the uh kind of owner and CEO or whatever on the show, Megan Hall Greenberg. Now, she and her company um are having a little bit of a moment right now, and they&#39;re having a moment. They&#39;re having a moment. And so, just quickly to recap for our listener, um, we had her on the show. She had this show, this uh agency called Ciro Connections, where she would, you know, she has IPs and she has surrogates and she&#39;s kind of the agency to connect them all. And there&#39;s a lot of agencies like this. Well, I heard that the company folded and she sent out this email. And the email was basically like, hey, we ran out of money. We have no money to continue operations, or to refund you, or to refund you. We have a hundred thousand dollar bond with the state. If you want to sue us, go ahead. That&#39;s all that we have. Love, Megan Hall Greenberg. And so I was like, oh shit, this is dramatic. Uh-huh. And then I saw men having babies jump in and say, Hey, we&#39;re aware of what&#39;s happening. Um, we are here to support you. We have these, maybe we&#39;re gonna move some money here to help people. And basically, what seems to have happened allegedly, I have to say that because people will come for us. It seems her and her partner had this agency, they collected a ton of money, and then they fucking bounced and they stole about four million dollars. And this seems to be what&#39;s happening. Is that what your take is? Gavin: 2:07 Uh, absolutely. And I appreciate you going far enough to say it it it&#39;s a little, it&#39;s it is an unregulated business. I think that was one of my main takeaways was from the New York Times article, which let the record show. I was like, you sent me in New York Times article. I know. David: 2:24 I sent it to Gavin. It&#39;s like cats are dogs, dogs are cats. Gavin: 2:26 I you always say to me, I don&#39;t have a uh uh a subscription. And I&#39;m like, this needs to be on your Christmas. You know what? You know what, David? I&#39;m getting no, it&#39;s way too much money. Oh my god, Gavin, get to the point. It&#39;s an unregulated business, and you&#39;re you there are risks being taken amongst the many levels of risks that I think I&#39;ve said many times, you kind of think you are in charge and therefore in control, and you can control all the things. And so therefore, it makes you feel like you&#39;re going bonkers when you don&#39;t have full control over how your embryo comes out, what the gender is of the kid, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, this is another level of not having control. And, you know, this is I&#39;m undoubtedly going to have repercussions and bring some more regulation to an industry that is unregulated. And that won&#39;t necessarily be a bad thing. But it looks like Megan has done some bad things. David: 3:16 But it but the powerlessness and the non-control we should have should be do my embryos make the grade? Is the transfer like the things that are kind of like let go and let God? Thank you, Carrie Underwood. It shouldn&#39;t be that the company that I have given money to, because I am a I am an I am an aspiring parent, I&#39;m an intended parent, and or the surrogates, I am gonna I am risking my life and my body to create life for these these people. And ergo, I have agreed on X amount of dollars that that money gets stolen from us. That is something we should not. So, anyway, again, allegedly, um, I want to point out that we did have her on our show last year. Um, obviously, we had no idea this was happening. Um, and I did reach out to her and I said, Hey, I know all this stuff is going on. Do you want to come on Gate Yorks and say your side of the story? LOL, right? The the email did bounce back. Um, everything is shut down over there. So I know there&#39;s there&#39;s no way. But I just I told Gavin, I texted him earlier this morning, I said, we need to just say that we know about this. Yeah, and we need to say this is super fucked up. And there&#39;s a lot of surrogates and intended parents who are really drowning right now because of this this alleged woman stealing four million dollars from these people. And and that&#39;s that. Yeah, I mean, I I don&#39;t have a solution. We&#39;re this this episode is not entirely funny, and there&#39;s not really a solution here, but we are aware of it. It probably affects a lot of our listener. And if you&#39;re one of those people and you want to reach out to us and talk to us about what you have experienced, please do. Uh we&#39;re all for that. Yeah, I I I just I feel fucking sick because Gavin, you and I both did surrogacy, and we did not have our money embezzled or stolen from us, and it was still terrifying and scary and stressful and all of the things. Yeah, but we didn&#39;t have 60, 80, 100,000,$200,000 stolen from us. Some of these people are pregnant now, they&#39;re in the middle of the amazing. Gavin: 5:13 Yeah, that article was actually really fascinating. Some people do in two weeks, and some people uh only uh only owed five figures, but undoubtedly there&#39;s people out there with six figures, and that&#39;s um that&#39;s that&#39;s a lot. So we we our hearts go out to you, listener, and uh we&#39;re here. Uh maybe this can be a discussion to be um in the wise words of podcaster extraordinaire Gavin Lodge likes to say let&#39;s make the world a better place. David: 5:39 So how did you circle this entire episode back to you? Gavin: 5:44 Watch my hair flip here on the podcast. David: 5:47 We love you. Bye, guys. See you next Wednesday. Bye bye.]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We wanted to take a few minutes out of your week to acknowledge the awful experience IP&apos;s and surrogates alike are dealing with during the collapse (and possible fraud) of SurroConnections. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Okay, Gavin, we&#39;re doi]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We wanted to take a few minutes out of your week to acknowledge the awful experience IP&apos;s and surrogates alike are dealing with during the collapse (and possible fraud) of SurroConnections. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Okay, Gavin, we&#39;re doing something a little bit different. We have a little bit of a mini bonus thing happening this Friday, December 12th. I love that. Gavin: 0:08 Yeah, I&#39;m always here for a Friday afternoon bonus. David: 0:11 It is. It is not great news. I just felt like we needed to acknowledge the fact that there was some kind of drama happening in the surrogacy space that we are tangentially connected to in a weird way. So for those listeners out there who don&#39;t know, there is a that was never uh may I just say it never fails to make me giggle when you say for all our listener out there. Gavin: 0:34 I&#39;ve it&#39;s always sorry, that was very self-referential. Sorry, I just broke your flow and which you love so much. But hey, it&#39;s a Friday bonus. David: 0:42 Like hey, it feels really good to start a show and get the momentum going, especially about a very serious topic. So there is uh a circusy company called Ciro Connections, and we had the uh kind of owner and CEO or whatever on the show, Megan Hall Greenberg. Now, she and her company um are having a little bit of a moment right now, and they&#39;re having a moment. They&#39;re having a moment. And so, just quickly to recap for our listener, um, we had her on the show. She had this show, this uh agency called Ciro Connections, where she would, you know, she has IPs and she has surrogates and she&#39;s kind of the agency to connect them all. And there&#39;s a lot of agencies like this. Well, I heard that the company folded and she sent out this email. And the email was basically like, hey, we ran out of money. We have no money to continue operations, or to refund you, or to refund you. We have a hundred thousand dollar bond with the state. If you want to sue us, go ahead. That&#39;s all that we have. Love, Megan Hall Greenberg. And so I was like, oh shit, this is dramatic. Uh-huh. And then I saw men having babies jump in and say, Hey, we&#39;re aware of what&#39;s happening. Um, we are here to support you. We have these, maybe we&#39;re gonna move some money here to help people. And basically, what seems to have happened allegedly, I have to say that because people will come for us. It seems her and her partner had this agency, they collected a ton of money, and then they fucking bounced and they stole about four million dollars. And this seems to be what&#39;s happening. Is that what your take is? Gavin: 2:07 Uh, absolutely. And I appreciate you going far enough to say it it it&#39;s a little, it&#39;s it is an unregulated business. I think that was one of my main takeaways was from the New York Times article, which let the record show. I was like, you sent me in New York Times article. I know. David: 2:24 I sent it to Gavin. It&#39;s like cats are dogs, dogs are cats. Gavin: 2:26 I you always say to me, I don&#39;t have a uh uh a subscription. And I&#39;m like, this needs to be on your Christmas. You know what? You know what, David? I&#39;m getting no, it&#39;s way too much money. Oh my god, Gavin, get to the point. It&#39;s an unregulated business, and you&#39;re you there are risks being taken amongst the many levels of risks that I think I&#39;ve said many times, you kind of think you are in charge and therefore in control, and you can control all the things. And so therefore, it makes you feel like you&#39;re going bonkers when you don&#39;t have full control over how your embryo comes out, what the gender is of the kid, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, this is another level of not having control. And, you know, this is I&#39;m undoubtedly going to have repercussions and bring some more regulation to an industry that is unregulated. And that won&#39;t necessarily be a bad thing. But it looks like Megan has done some bad things. David: 3:16 But it but the powerlessness and the non-control we should have should be do my embryos make the grade? Is the transfer like the things that are kind of like let go and let God? Thank you, Carrie Underwood. It shouldn&#39;t be that the company that I have given money to, because I am a I am an I am an aspiring parent, I&#39;m an intended parent, and or the surrogates, I am gonna I am risking my life and my body to create life for these these people. And ergo, I have agreed on X amount of dollars that that money gets stolen from us. That is something we should not. So, anyway, again, allegedly, um, I want to point out that we did have her on our show last year. Um, obviously, we had no idea this was happening. Um, and I did reach out to her and I said, Hey, I know all this stuff is going on. Do you want to come on Gate Yorks and say your side of the story? LOL, right? The the email did bounce back. Um, everything is shut down over there. So I know there&#39;s there&#39;s no way. But I just I told Gavin, I texted him earlier this morning, I said, we need to just say that we know about this. Yeah, and we need to say this is super fucked up. And there&#39;s a lot of surrogates and intended parents who are really drowning right now because of this this alleged woman stealing four million dollars from these people. And and that&#39;s that. Yeah, I mean, I I don&#39;t have a solution. We&#39;re this this episode is not entirely funny, and there&#39;s not really a solution here, but we are aware of it. It probably affects a lot of our listener. And if you&#39;re one of those people and you want to reach out to us and talk to us about what you have experienced, please do. Uh we&#39;re all for that. Yeah, I I I just I feel fucking sick because Gavin, you and I both did surrogacy, and we did not have our money embezzled or stolen from us, and it was still terrifying and scary and stressful and all of the things. Yeah, but we didn&#39;t have 60, 80, 100,000,$200,000 stolen from us. Some of these people are pregnant now, they&#39;re in the middle of the amazing. Gavin: 5:13 Yeah, that article was actually really fascinating. Some people do in two weeks, and some people uh only uh only owed five figures, but undoubtedly there&#39;s people out there with six figures, and that&#39;s um that&#39;s that&#39;s a lot. So we we our hearts go out to you, listener, and uh we&#39;re here. Uh maybe this can be a discussion to be um in the wise words of podcaster extraordinaire Gavin Lodge likes to say let&#39;s make the world a better place. David: 5:39 So how did you circle this entire episode back to you? Gavin: 5:44 Watch my hair flip here on the podcast. David: 5:47 We love you. Bye, guys. See you next Wednesday. Bye bye.]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We wanted to take a few minutes out of your week to acknowledge the awful experience IP&apos;s and surrogates alike are dealing with during the collapse (and possible fraud) of SurroConnections. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Okay, Gavin, we&#39;re doing something a little bit different. We have a little bit of a mini bonus thing happening this Friday, December 12th. I love that. Gavin: 0:08 Yeah, I&#39;m always here for a Friday afternoon bonus. David: 0:11 It is. It is not great news. I just felt like we needed to acknowledge the fact that there was some kind of drama happening in the surrogacy space that we are tangentially connected to in a weird way. So for those listeners out there who don&#39;t know, there is a that was never uh may I just say it never fails to make me giggle when you say for all our listener out there. Gavin: 0:34 I&#39;ve it&#39;s always sorry, that was very self-referential. Sorry, I just broke your flow and which you love so much. But hey, it&#39;s a Friday bonus. David: 0:42 Like hey, it feels really good to start a show and get the momentum going, especially about a very serious topic. So there is uh a circusy company called Ciro Connections, and we had the uh kind of owner and CEO or whatever on the show, Megan Hall Greenberg. Now, she and her company um are having a little bit of a moment right now, and they&#39;re having a moment. They&#39;re having a moment. And so, just quickly to recap for our listener, um, we had her on the show. She had this show, this uh agency called Ciro Connections, where she would, you know, she has IPs and she has surrogates and she&#39;s kind of the agency to connect them all. And there&#39;s a lot of agencies like this. Well, I heard that the company folded and she sent out this email. And the email was basically like, hey, we ran out of money. We have no money to continue operations, or to refund you, or to refund you. We have a hundred thousand dollar bond with the state. If you want to sue us, go ahead. That&#39;s all that we have. Love, Megan Hall Greenberg. And so I was like, oh shit, this is dramatic. Uh-huh. And then I saw men having babies jump in and say, Hey, we&#39;re aware of what&#39;s happening. Um, we are here to support you. We have these, maybe we&#39;re gonna move some money here to help people. And basically, what seems to have happened allegedly, I have to say that because people will come for us. It seems her and her partner had this agency, they collected a ton of money, and then they fucking bounced and they stole about four million dollars. And this seems to be what&#39;s happening. Is that what your take is? Gavin: 2:07 Uh, absolutely. And I appreciate you going far enough to say it it it&#39;s a little, it&#39;s it is an unregulated business. I think that was one of my main takeaways was from the New York Times article, which let the record show. I was like, you sent me in New York Times article. I know. David: 2:24 I sent it to Gavin. It&#39;s like cats are dogs, dogs are cats. Gavin: 2:26 I you always say to me, I don&#39;t have a uh uh a subscription. And I&#39;m like, this needs to be on your Christmas. You know what? You know what, David? I&#39;m getting no, it&#39;s way too much money. Oh my god, Gavin, get to the point. It&#39;s an unregulated business, and you&#39;re you there are risks being taken amongst the many levels of risks that I think I&#39;ve said many times, you kind of think you are in charge and therefore in control, and you can control all the things. And so therefore, it makes you feel like you&#39;re going bonkers when you don&#39;t have full control over how your embryo comes out, what the gender is of the kid, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, this is another level of not having control. And, you know, this is I&#39;m undoubtedly going to have repercussions and bring some more regulation to an industry that is unregulated. And that won&#39;t necessarily be a bad thing. But it looks like Megan has done some]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We wanted to take a few minutes out of your week to acknowledge the awful experience IP&apos;s and surrogates alike are dealing with during the collapse (and possible fraud) of SurroConnections. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Okay, Gavin, we&#39;re doing something a little bit different. We have a little bit of a mini bonus thing happening this Friday, December 12th. I love that. Gavin: 0:08 Yeah, I&#39;m always here for a Friday afternoon bonus. David: 0:11 It is. It is not great news. I just felt like we needed to acknowledge the fact that there was some kind of drama happening in the surrogacy space that we are tangentially connected to in a weird way. So for those listeners out there who don&#39;t know, there is a that was never uh may I just say it never fails to make me giggle when you say for all our listener out there. Gavin: 0:34 I&#39;ve it&#39;s always sorry, that was very self-referential. Sorry, I just broke your flow and which you love so much. But hey, it&#39;s a Frid]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with [NULL]</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-null/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Dec 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-18326955</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts off the episode strong with a very funny story, David has thoughts about OPK&apos;s (again), Gavin talks sports, we rank the top 3 hottest Holiday characters, and we break sad news for the Gaytriarchs listener.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? David: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S dot com. David: 0:44 So what we what was the story you were just telling me? SPEAKER_00: 0:47 Um so um Jewish people a long time ago told stories about menorahs and the evil ones like stealing menorahs, and they thought a menorah is the very f first thing they put up for sh for Hanukkah and they a long time ago, um the oil um pastel um couldn&#39;t um um couldn&#39;t do it that much and they&#39;re they were like oh no it can&#39;t do it and in one day uh um let&#39;s say it again and this is catriarch. Gavin: 1:48 David. I know you&#39;re really excited to get this episode started, but I feel like we have done a disservice to our listener by not discussing something for the last three weeks, and that something is heated rivalry. David: 2:04 This is how you want to open the show. I literally just told you I have a really funny story to start with. Do you have anything? And then you launch into an old TV show that people are talking about. But we haven&#39;t even addressed it yet. Can we address it in the middle of an episode? We gotta grab the viewer, you gotta grab the listener at first. And this is katriarchs. Oh no, no, no, no. This is not the open thing jumped gave him. No, no, no, no. Don&#39;t try to turn this into a cold open. We&#39;re in it now. Tell me about Hidden Right of Flery gave it. Everyone has turned off their their uh You&#39;re right. It&#39;s old news. It&#39;s old news, but I just discovered it last week and I&#39;ve just I haven&#39;t watched it yet. Gavin: 2:43 I&#39;ve only jerked off to the memes that I can I have not watched them, but there are significant memes out there, and I can&#39;t believe that you haven&#39;t watched it. But now every single gay person I know has said to me over the last week and a half, have you watched Heated Rivalry? And I&#39;m like, I I know that there&#39;s something out there that the whole world is talking about. Well, join the club, David, because wow. Wow. David: 3:07 I don&#39;t have HBO and uh I&#39;m sure there&#39;s illegal ways of doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I feel like I would very much enjoy it, but I like all the photos and videos and stuff I&#39;ve seen are very, very simple. They suffice. Gavin: 3:19 Well, I can&#39;t say that I can&#39;t say that it&#39;s the best acting or screen writing that I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. Does it matter? Nope. No, it doesn&#39;t matter at all. Doesn&#39;t matter. So you&#39;re getting it. Okay. Well, I&#39;m sorry to completely deflate and undermine your ability to finally bring your best here to Gay Triarch. David: 3:38 I&#39;m just gonna actually skip that story and put it on the next episode because that&#39;s a way to open. But you know what I was thinking about the other day? Um, you know how I feel about OPKs, right? Yes, I do. Uh, I hate other people&#39;s kids. Uh whether you&#39;re my good friend or my family member, I hate your child. Your child sucks, your child is misbehaved, and your child should act better. My child on the other side. Yeah, I was gonna say, you know, it does mean that your child is perfect. No, no, no, no, no, no. I also think my child is terrible, but just slightly less terrible than your child. Anyway, something I figured out the other day. You know how I&#39;m I&#39;m constantly complaining about older parents telling me, yeah, uh telling me, like, oh, it&#39;s gonna go by so fast and you&#39;re gonna miss it. All this bullshit. Gestuate. I hate it. However, what I&#39;ve learned is that I don&#39;t experience parenting as fast as the older parents say, right? They&#39;re like, oh my God, it goes by in a blink of an eye. Like, I don&#39;t experience that for myself. I experience the day-to-day slog. However, I do experience that through OPKs. My friends and family who have children, even if they&#39;re the same age as my children, when I see their children every three, four weeks or whatever, I go, oh my God, she is really old. Oh my god, she&#39;s like night and day. And to me, my children are the same age they are. Gavin: 4:56 They never change. David: 4:57 Yep. Yeah. And it&#39;s it&#39;s just interesting because I I am experiencing that like it goes by so fast with other people, but with my kids, I&#39;m like, hurry the fuck up. Gavin: 5:08 So this was your hilarious opener to I say I I skipped it because I&#39;m gonna move it on a different episode. Oh I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s okay. I completely agree with you. On the on the flip side of that, and just as a complete aside, there is a kid on my kids&#39; soccer team who has a little brother, who I it&#39;s the only experience in my life where every time we come to a game on a weekly basis, but then sometimes there will be like a four-month gap at the winner and that whatnot. I come back and I see the little brother, and I&#39;m like, he still hasn&#39;t grown. I swear to God, that kid has been two years old. He&#39;s been two years old for the last two and a half years, and he just slipped from baby into toddler, but I swear to God, he&#39;s been a toddler for four years. And it&#39;s the weirdest thing, and I&#39;ve said it to a couple of the other parents, like, doesn&#39;t that kid ever grow? And uh, it&#39;s just the weirdest phenomenon. I I because generally I think you&#39;re exactly right. OPKs grow way faster than our own kids do. I&#39;m with you entirely. But maybe this is a this is like a the opposite. Here&#39;s a screenplay that you can explore is the kid who doesn&#39;t has that already been done? Not Bill Bubba. That Brad Pitt movie that where he goes backwards into. Benjamin Button. Yeah, Bill Bob back. David: 6:23 There&#39;s also like the like, what was the guy&#39;s name from Silver Spoons who like he had some disease where like he just looked like a child for the rest of his life? Gavin: 6:30 Oh, really? Ricky. Uh no, not the blonde one. David: 6:35 Oh that&#39;s silver, that&#39;s that&#39;s the other kid. No, maybe not silver spoons. Anyway, everyone out there, all our listener out there is like screaming at the has turned up. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And and it&#39;s also like, please move it along. Please move it along. Do say something funny. I have nothing funny to say, but I did notice also another fucking thing that I hate about parenting. Sorry, this is gonna be a little ranty. It&#39;s just us this episode, it&#39;s gonna be a little ranty. I do our family&#39;s laundry mostly, you know, like you and your husband naturally, like somebody just does trash. You fall into roles, correct. And so I do a lot of laundry. The amount of subs of laundry when you have four different size people in your house is if you follow me on Instagram, you saw me post the other day. I was doing laundry. We had probably seven or eight loads, just like college. Um, and I had probably 22 different like, you know, subsets. Hannah pants, Hannah underwear, Hannah long sleeve shirts, Emmett shorts. I mean, it was just obscene how many fucking so do you wash them all separately? Or you just mean when you fold it, I mean you put it all. When I&#39;m folding. Oh no, that&#39;s what I mean. It&#39;s like when I&#39;m folding, I&#39;m like, there there are too many. We need to like, because you know some gays will, you know, like brother lovers, they&#39;ll date somebody or they&#39;ll marry somebody who is the exact same size as them. What a dream. You just get to share shoes and shirts for the rest of your life. Don&#39;t you share underwear and socks? I feel like that&#39;s a little weird. Is that weird? Oh. Gavin: 8:05 Uh well, I don&#39;t think it is. Let&#39;s, yeah, let&#39;s unpack that. How do we feel about that? My partner and I are definitely not the same size. He, I&#39;m about five inches taller. And I went to a wedding across the country a long time ago, a decade ago. More than that. And I grabbed, in fact, it was the wedding of Bill Burton, friend of uh the show, the atriarch&#39;s. I grabbed a tan suit. It was a summer California wedding. I grabbed a tan suit out of the closet, and it was not mine. It was uh Todd&#39;s. And so when I put the pants on and they went halfway up my calves, I thought, I&#39;m not showing up to this wedding in clam diggers or capri pants. So I went to the Banana Republic, got a tan suit, left the tags on, went to the wedding, partied, flew back in the suit and half drunk because I had to do it overnight to be back in Spamelant the next day for a matinee. So this was really a long time ago. And um, yes, I returned the suit. And, you know, Banana Republic doesn&#39;t care. Well, you know what happened when Obama wore his tan suit. Yeah, I was not sure. Fascism came to America. So yes, but uh the okay, so so the sharing of the clothes, I totally understand. Uh, I think you should get over the underwear sharing. It doesn&#39;t seem like that big a deal to me. But the levels, the intricate columns I create of the subsets of laundry, like you just said, are when I walk up our stairs with a basket of laundry, I am really I I might as well be balancing, you know, uh, I don&#39;t know, a tower of whatever, fill in the blank, because I don&#39;t need it, I can&#39;t have it fall. Because I can&#39;t have it fall, because if I lose all of those subsets, I my whole life goes. And if I don&#39;t get the laundry put away fast enough and my rotten children dig through that pile. David: 9:54 Oh my god, are they ruining? Gavin: 9:56 Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. Hell hath no fury like that. David: 9:59 I used to work at Abercrombie and Fitch in college, and we had tracks. I know, I know. But um uh I just stood in front of the store with my shirt off. That was one of those. Um, but I remember like they had this like very, very strict guidelines where you would have to fold all the shirts on these like plastic boards so they were perfectly the same. Yes, you would put them in a in a thing and they would measure them, and then the the manager would come by and scrunch them just so perfectly. So they looked a little bit, you know, like a little bit just thrown on the floor, but like perfectly thrown on the floor. It was, yeah. Gavin: 10:32 Anyway, the only retail job I&#39;ve ever had in my life was at Apricomium Fitch for two weeks over a Christmas break. I felt like I checked it off the list because it was the most cliche thing I could have done. Did you stand in front of the store with your shirt off? I&#39;m not even gonna be able to do that. David: 10:45 That&#39;s that&#39;s my goal. That&#39;s my goal body. Oh, that&#39;s stands in front of yes. Gavin: 10:50 Going back to when we talked with Dr. X about your body issues that you are absolutely giving to your children. Yeah, you should aspire to be Abacrum, be a fitch, Chinese food makes me sick, and I think it&#39;s flywing. Girls, stop by for the summer. For the summer. Anyway, speaking of nothing, um, I need to bring it back to a couple of weeks ago when I was called out for my idiocy, okay? So I was talking about going to the football game with my son, and I saw the New England Patriots play the Atlanta, not Falcons. Excuse me. They were playing the Falcons, and I said called them the Atlanta Ravens. And I swear to God, as I said the Atlanta Ravens, I thought, no, no, I have the wrong bird. I&#39;m sure that I have the wrong bird. Do I have the wrong bird? Whatever. And I just kept talking. And there I was, sort of making cheeky jokes about how, like, oh, I don&#39;t know what football is, but yet insecurely trying to prove that I do know the difference between, you know, a forward lateral and a field goal. I don&#39;t I do know what a lot of it is. It doesn&#39;t sound like it the way you described it. No. But I was thinking of a two-point conversion. Anyway, so listener reached out and he needed to let me know very hilariously that he needed to correct me. And he was not the only one. We have listener and listener who both reached out to me to say, you idiot, you called him the wrong team. And I very much was aware of it. David: 12:10 But the fact that any of our listener thinks that they can like educate us on sport is is very unsurprised. They must not be a long-term, like, come on. We don&#39;t know. Gavin: 12:20 But I do appreciate, I do appreciate that the listener Dave said, you know, it is actually, it&#39;s the um uh obviously the Atlanta Falcons or the Baltimore Ravens. And then he went on to say, because he is quite the intellect and full of lots of fun trivia, that the Baltimore Ravens were actually named after Edgar Allan Poe&#39;s poem, The Raven, because I guess Edgar Allan Poe is from Baltimore, which the only thing I know about Edgar Allen is the song from your good man Charlie Brown, I believe, right? Edgar Allen, an American poet. Anyway, or maybe that&#39;s Snoopy the musical. Point being, making this as gay as possible, he did point out that you might argue that the Baltimore Ravens are the gayest football team, because who should we name them after? A poem. Yes, let&#39;s name a football team after. David: 13:04 Yeah, I&#39;m sorry, are you are you equating homosexuality with poetry? Is creative writing gay? Gavin: 13:12 All right, all right. Well, you were you heard it here, listener. Uh he you were just called out. So anyway, but on the football uh rant that um I&#39;m increasingly watching more football because my son is wanting to, and I&#39;m like, uh well, you can watch it, but let&#39;s not get too involved. But I noticed that I was watching a Dallas Cowboys game a couple of weeks ago, and I noticed on the back of their helmets it said choose love. They have a little tag on the back of their helmet, and I thought, huh? What? What is that about? Yeah. I did a little bit of a research. No, don&#39;t worry, not too deep a dive. Uh, because God forbid. But it&#39;s do you remember when there was a guy named Damar Hamlin who was on the Buffalo Bills, I think in 2023, and he had basically a cardiac arrest on the field. Yes. Do you remember that? Yeah. So that guy, Damar, I believe started his the the league rallied around him, and there was a whole, you know, like effort to wish him back to health, that kind of thing. And choose love became kind of the slogan for it. And and so people were uh displaying that on their helmet, which doesn&#39;t it actually makes me question my research abilities that this is what it came up with, but really this is what the Googs told me. And some of the players choose love version, but some players are still have it, have choose love on their helmet. Um, not all the Dallas Cowboys it didn&#39;t look like, but I think the QB did. And so quarterback. Uh don&#39;t ask me his name. Do not ask me his name. But anyway, I thought, wow, I mean, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna take that as a positive sign for us all that uh the football NFL is choosing, well, some of them are choosing love in whatever way that may be, left open to interpretation and Googling um background. So I don&#39;t know,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts off the episode strong with a very funny story, David has thoughts about OPK&apos;s (again), Gavin talks sports, we rank the top 3 hottest Holiday characters, and we break sad news for the Gaytriarchs listener.  Questions? Comment]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts off the episode strong with a very funny story, David has thoughts about OPK&apos;s (again), Gavin talks sports, we rank the top 3 hottest Holiday characters, and we break sad news for the Gaytriarchs listener.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? David: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S dot com. David: 0:44 So what we what was the story you were just telling me? SPEAKER_00: 0:47 Um so um Jewish people a long time ago told stories about menorahs and the evil ones like stealing menorahs, and they thought a menorah is the very f first thing they put up for sh for Hanukkah and they a long time ago, um the oil um pastel um couldn&#39;t um um couldn&#39;t do it that much and they&#39;re they were like oh no it can&#39;t do it and in one day uh um let&#39;s say it again and this is catriarch. Gavin: 1:48 David. I know you&#39;re really excited to get this episode started, but I feel like we have done a disservice to our listener by not discussing something for the last three weeks, and that something is heated rivalry. David: 2:04 This is how you want to open the show. I literally just told you I have a really funny story to start with. Do you have anything? And then you launch into an old TV show that people are talking about. But we haven&#39;t even addressed it yet. Can we address it in the middle of an episode? We gotta grab the viewer, you gotta grab the listener at first. And this is katriarchs. Oh no, no, no, no. This is not the open thing jumped gave him. No, no, no, no. Don&#39;t try to turn this into a cold open. We&#39;re in it now. Tell me about Hidden Right of Flery gave it. Everyone has turned off their their uh You&#39;re right. It&#39;s old news. It&#39;s old news, but I just discovered it last week and I&#39;ve just I haven&#39;t watched it yet. Gavin: 2:43 I&#39;ve only jerked off to the memes that I can I have not watched them, but there are significant memes out there, and I can&#39;t believe that you haven&#39;t watched it. But now every single gay person I know has said to me over the last week and a half, have you watched Heated Rivalry? And I&#39;m like, I I know that there&#39;s something out there that the whole world is talking about. Well, join the club, David, because wow. Wow. David: 3:07 I don&#39;t have HBO and uh I&#39;m sure there&#39;s illegal ways of doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I feel like I would very much enjoy it, but I like all the photos and videos and stuff I&#39;ve seen are very, very simple. They suffice. Gavin: 3:19 Well, I can&#39;t say that I can&#39;t say that it&#39;s the best acting or screen writing that I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. Does it matter? Nope. No, it doesn&#39;t matter at all. Doesn&#39;t matter. So you&#39;re getting it. Okay. Well, I&#39;m sorry to completely deflate and undermine your ability to finally bring your best here to Gay Triarch. David: 3:38 I&#39;m just gonna actually skip that story and put it on the next episode because that&#39;s a way to open. But you know what I was thinking about the other day? Um, you know how I feel about OPKs, right? Yes, I do. Uh, I hate other people&#39;s kids. Uh whether you&#39;re my good friend or my family member, I hate your child. Your child sucks, your child is misbehaved, and your child should act better. My child on the other side. Yeah, I was gonna say, you know, it does mean that your child is perfect. No, no, no, no, no, no. I also think my child is terrible, but just slightly less terrible than your child. Anyway, something I figured out the other day. You know how I&#39;m I&#39;m constantly complaining about older parents telling me, yeah, uh telling me, like, oh, it&#39;s gonna go by so fast and you&#39;re gonna miss it. All this bullshit. Gestuate. I hate it. However, what I&#39;ve learned is that I don&#39;t experience parenting as fast as the older parents say, right? They&#39;re like, oh my God, it goes by in a blink of an eye. Like, I don&#39;t experience that for myself. I experience the day-to-day slog. However, I do experience that through OPKs. My friends and family who have children, even if they&#39;re the same age as my children, when I see their children every three, four weeks or whatever, I go, oh my God, she is really old. Oh my god, she&#39;s like night and day. And to me, my children are the same age they are. Gavin: 4:56 They never change. David: 4:57 Yep. Yeah. And it&#39;s it&#39;s just interesting because I I am experiencing that like it goes by so fast with other people, but with my kids, I&#39;m like, hurry the fuck up. Gavin: 5:08 So this was your hilarious opener to I say I I skipped it because I&#39;m gonna move it on a different episode. Oh I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s okay. I completely agree with you. On the on the flip side of that, and just as a complete aside, there is a kid on my kids&#39; soccer team who has a little brother, who I it&#39;s the only experience in my life where every time we come to a game on a weekly basis, but then sometimes there will be like a four-month gap at the winner and that whatnot. I come back and I see the little brother, and I&#39;m like, he still hasn&#39;t grown. I swear to God, that kid has been two years old. He&#39;s been two years old for the last two and a half years, and he just slipped from baby into toddler, but I swear to God, he&#39;s been a toddler for four years. And it&#39;s the weirdest thing, and I&#39;ve said it to a couple of the other parents, like, doesn&#39;t that kid ever grow? And uh, it&#39;s just the weirdest phenomenon. I I because generally I think you&#39;re exactly right. OPKs grow way faster than our own kids do. I&#39;m with you entirely. But maybe this is a this is like a the opposite. Here&#39;s a screenplay that you can explore is the kid who doesn&#39;t has that already been done? Not Bill Bubba. That Brad Pitt movie that where he goes backwards into. Benjamin Button. Yeah, Bill Bob back. David: 6:23 There&#39;s also like the like, what was the guy&#39;s name from Silver Spoons who like he had some disease where like he just looked like a child for the rest of his life? Gavin: 6:30 Oh, really? Ricky. Uh no, not the blonde one. David: 6:35 Oh that&#39;s silver, that&#39;s that&#39;s the other kid. No, maybe not silver spoons. Anyway, everyone out there, all our listener out there is like screaming at the has turned up. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And and it&#39;s also like, please move it along. Please move it along. Do say something funny. I have nothing funny to say, but I did notice also another fucking thing that I hate about parenting. Sorry, this is gonna be a little ranty. It&#39;s just us this episode, it&#39;s gonna be a little ranty. I do our family&#39;s laundry mostly, you know, like you and your husband naturally, like somebody just does trash. You fall into roles, correct. And so I do a lot of laundry. The amount of subs of laundry when you have four different size people in your house is if you follow me on Instagram, you saw me post the other day. I was doing laundry. We had probably seven or eight loads, just like college. Um, and I had probably 22 different like, you know, subsets. Hannah pants, Hannah underwear, Hannah long sleeve shirts, Emmett shorts. I mean, it was just obscene how many fucking so do you wash them all separately? Or you just mean when you fold it, I mean you put it all. When I&#39;m folding. Oh no, that&#39;s what I mean. It&#39;s like when I&#39;m folding, I&#39;m like, there there are too many. We need to like, because you know some gays will, you know, like brother lovers, they&#39;ll date somebody or they&#39;ll marry somebody who is the exact same size as them. What a dream. You just get to share shoes and shirts for the rest of your life. Don&#39;t you share underwear and socks? I feel like that&#39;s a little weird. Is that weird? Oh. Gavin: 8:05 Uh well, I don&#39;t think it is. Let&#39;s, yeah, let&#39;s unpack that. How do we feel about that? My partner and I are definitely not the same size. He, I&#39;m about five inches taller. And I went to a wedding across the country a long time ago, a decade ago. More than that. And I grabbed, in fact, it was the wedding of Bill Burton, friend of uh the show, the atriarch&#39;s. I grabbed a tan suit. It was a summer California wedding. I grabbed a tan suit out of the closet, and it was not mine. It was uh Todd&#39;s. And so when I put the pants on and they went halfway up my calves, I thought, I&#39;m not showing up to this wedding in clam diggers or capri pants. So I went to the Banana Republic, got a tan suit, left the tags on, went to the wedding, partied, flew back in the suit and half drunk because I had to do it overnight to be back in Spamelant the next day for a matinee. So this was really a long time ago. And um, yes, I returned the suit. And, you know, Banana Republic doesn&#39;t care. Well, you know what happened when Obama wore his tan suit. Yeah, I was not sure. Fascism came to America. So yes, but uh the okay, so so the sharing of the clothes, I totally understand. Uh, I think you should get over the underwear sharing. It doesn&#39;t seem like that big a deal to me. But the levels, the intricate columns I create of the subsets of laundry, like you just said, are when I walk up our stairs with a basket of laundry, I am really I I might as well be balancing, you know, uh, I don&#39;t know, a tower of whatever, fill in the blank, because I don&#39;t need it, I can&#39;t have it fall. Because I can&#39;t have it fall, because if I lose all of those subsets, I my whole life goes. And if I don&#39;t get the laundry put away fast enough and my rotten children dig through that pile. David: 9:54 Oh my god, are they ruining? Gavin: 9:56 Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. Hell hath no fury like that. David: 9:59 I used to work at Abercrombie and Fitch in college, and we had tracks. I know, I know. But um uh I just stood in front of the store with my shirt off. That was one of those. Um, but I remember like they had this like very, very strict guidelines where you would have to fold all the shirts on these like plastic boards so they were perfectly the same. Yes, you would put them in a in a thing and they would measure them, and then the the manager would come by and scrunch them just so perfectly. So they looked a little bit, you know, like a little bit just thrown on the floor, but like perfectly thrown on the floor. It was, yeah. Gavin: 10:32 Anyway, the only retail job I&#39;ve ever had in my life was at Apricomium Fitch for two weeks over a Christmas break. I felt like I checked it off the list because it was the most cliche thing I could have done. Did you stand in front of the store with your shirt off? I&#39;m not even gonna be able to do that. David: 10:45 That&#39;s that&#39;s my goal. That&#39;s my goal body. Oh, that&#39;s stands in front of yes. Gavin: 10:50 Going back to when we talked with Dr. X about your body issues that you are absolutely giving to your children. Yeah, you should aspire to be Abacrum, be a fitch, Chinese food makes me sick, and I think it&#39;s flywing. Girls, stop by for the summer. For the summer. Anyway, speaking of nothing, um, I need to bring it back to a couple of weeks ago when I was called out for my idiocy, okay? So I was talking about going to the football game with my son, and I saw the New England Patriots play the Atlanta, not Falcons. Excuse me. They were playing the Falcons, and I said called them the Atlanta Ravens. And I swear to God, as I said the Atlanta Ravens, I thought, no, no, I have the wrong bird. I&#39;m sure that I have the wrong bird. Do I have the wrong bird? Whatever. And I just kept talking. And there I was, sort of making cheeky jokes about how, like, oh, I don&#39;t know what football is, but yet insecurely trying to prove that I do know the difference between, you know, a forward lateral and a field goal. I don&#39;t I do know what a lot of it is. It doesn&#39;t sound like it the way you described it. No. But I was thinking of a two-point conversion. Anyway, so listener reached out and he needed to let me know very hilariously that he needed to correct me. And he was not the only one. We have listener and listener who both reached out to me to say, you idiot, you called him the wrong team. And I very much was aware of it. David: 12:10 But the fact that any of our listener thinks that they can like educate us on sport is is very unsurprised. They must not be a long-term, like, come on. We don&#39;t know. Gavin: 12:20 But I do appreciate, I do appreciate that the listener Dave said, you know, it is actually, it&#39;s the um uh obviously the Atlanta Falcons or the Baltimore Ravens. And then he went on to say, because he is quite the intellect and full of lots of fun trivia, that the Baltimore Ravens were actually named after Edgar Allan Poe&#39;s poem, The Raven, because I guess Edgar Allan Poe is from Baltimore, which the only thing I know about Edgar Allen is the song from your good man Charlie Brown, I believe, right? Edgar Allen, an American poet. Anyway, or maybe that&#39;s Snoopy the musical. Point being, making this as gay as possible, he did point out that you might argue that the Baltimore Ravens are the gayest football team, because who should we name them after? A poem. Yes, let&#39;s name a football team after. David: 13:04 Yeah, I&#39;m sorry, are you are you equating homosexuality with poetry? Is creative writing gay? Gavin: 13:12 All right, all right. Well, you were you heard it here, listener. Uh he you were just called out. So anyway, but on the football uh rant that um I&#39;m increasingly watching more football because my son is wanting to, and I&#39;m like, uh well, you can watch it, but let&#39;s not get too involved. But I noticed that I was watching a Dallas Cowboys game a couple of weeks ago, and I noticed on the back of their helmets it said choose love. They have a little tag on the back of their helmet, and I thought, huh? What? What is that about? Yeah. I did a little bit of a research. No, don&#39;t worry, not too deep a dive. Uh, because God forbid. But it&#39;s do you remember when there was a guy named Damar Hamlin who was on the Buffalo Bills, I think in 2023, and he had basically a cardiac arrest on the field. Yes. Do you remember that? Yeah. So that guy, Damar, I believe started his the the league rallied around him, and there was a whole, you know, like effort to wish him back to health, that kind of thing. And choose love became kind of the slogan for it. And and so people were uh displaying that on their helmet, which doesn&#39;t it actually makes me question my research abilities that this is what it came up with, but really this is what the Googs told me. And some of the players choose love version, but some players are still have it, have choose love on their helmet. Um, not all the Dallas Cowboys it didn&#39;t look like, but I think the QB did. And so quarterback. Uh don&#39;t ask me his name. Do not ask me his name. But anyway, I thought, wow, I mean, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna take that as a positive sign for us all that uh the football NFL is choosing, well, some of them are choosing love in whatever way that may be, left open to interpretation and Googling um background. So I don&#39;t know,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts off the episode strong with a very funny story, David has thoughts about OPK&apos;s (again), Gavin talks sports, we rank the top 3 hottest Holiday characters, and we break sad news for the Gaytriarchs listener.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? David: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S dot com. David: 0:44 So what we what was the story you were just telling me? SPEAKER_00: 0:47 Um so um Jewish people a long time ago told stories about menorahs and the evil ones like stealing menorahs, and they thought a menorah is the very f first thing they put up for sh for Hanukkah and they a long time ago, um the oil um pastel um couldn&#39;t um um couldn&#39;t do it that much and they&#39;re they were like oh no it can&#39;t do it and in one day uh um let&#39;s say it again and this is catriarch. Gavin: 1:48 David. I know you&#39;re really excited to get this episode started, but I feel like we have done a disservice to our listener by not discussing something for the last three weeks, and that something is heated rivalry. David: 2:04 This is how you want to open the show. I literally just told you I have a really funny story to start with. Do you have anything? And then you launch into an old TV show that people are talking about. But we haven&#39;t even addressed it yet. Can we address it in the middle of an episode? We gotta grab the viewer, you gotta grab the listener at first. And this is katriarchs. Oh no, no, no, no. This is not the open thing jumped gave him. No, no, no, no. Don&#39;t try to turn this into a cold open. We&#39;re in it now. Tell me about Hidden Right of Flery gave it. Everyone has turned off their their uh You&#39;re right. It&#39;s old news. It&#39;s old news, but I just discovered it last week and I&#39;ve just I haven&#39;t watched it yet. Gavin: 2:43 I&#39;ve only jerked off to the memes that I can I have not watched them, but there are significant memes out there, and I can&#39;t believe that you haven&#39;t watched it. But now every single gay person I know has said to me over the last week and a half, have you watched Heated Rivalry? And I&#39;m like, I I know that there&#39;s something out there that the whole world is talking about. Well, join the club, David, because wow. Wow. David: 3:07 I don&#39;t have HBO and uh I&#39;m sure there&#39;s illegal ways of doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I feel like I would very much enjoy it, but I like all the photos and videos and stuff I&#39;ve seen are very, very simple. They suffice. Gavin: 3:19 Well, I can&#39;t say that I can&#39;t say that it&#39;s the best acting or screen writing that I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. Does it matter? Nope. No, it doesn&#39;t matter at all. Doesn&#39;t matter. So you&#39;re getting it. Okay. Well, I&#39;m sorry to completely deflate and undermine your ability to finally bring your best here to Gay Triarch. David: 3:38 I&#39;m just gonna actually skip that story and put it on the next episode because that&#39;s a way to open. But you know what I was thinking about the other day? Um, you know how I feel about OPKs, right? Yes, I do. Uh, I hate other people&#39;s kids. Uh whether you&#39;re my good friend or my family member, I hate your child. Your child suck]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts off the episode strong with a very funny story, David has thoughts about OPK&apos;s (again), Gavin talks sports, we rank the top 3 hottest Holiday characters, and we break sad news for the Gaytriarchs listener.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? David: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of yo]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Doctor X</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-doctor-x/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is shot at point-blank range by his son, Gavin has criticism for David&apos;s criticism of the Wicked movie, we ask our listener for book recommendations, we have a controversial DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Christmas songs, and this week we are joined by mysterious &#34;Doctor X,&#34; who talks to us about female health and anatomy, when we should talk to our kids about sex, and why she has (some) hope about medicine and social media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? SPEAKER_02: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. SPEAKER_01: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his YesGaddy hat. SPEAKER_02: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. SPEAKER_01: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. SPEAKER_02: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. That daddy clause, the strangely hot uh um uh what am I trying to say? Um oh god damn it. SPEAKER_02: 0:55 What&#39;s the term I knew I knew we&#39;d get it cold open. I knew we did it. I knew we would get it. I knew if I just waited long enough, like I knew it&#39;s a ball, it would arrive. SPEAKER_01: 1:08 And this is Gay Drearks. SPEAKER_02: 1:24 So the other night before bed, I&#39;m trying to get my son dressed for bed, and he&#39;s doing the funny thing where he&#39;s like kicking and saying no, but it&#39;s all playful. And now he&#39;s totally naked, kicking me. I&#39;m trying to put his underwear on. We&#39;re laughing. And then he just stops and he looks him right in the eye, he goes, Dad, watch. And in one fell swoop, he throws his legs over his head and farts right in front of me. And gave and what I realized was I have never seen nor ever wanted to see a close-up fart, a a physiological rendering of a fart from a six-year-old child. And I have been changed for the worse. So what was your immediate reaction? I I literally froze like a deer in the headlights because A, it was gross, but whatever. But B, I was like, that&#39;s what a butthole looks like when it farts. It was horrible. It was like seeing the creature in the alien movie. You just every part of you is like, I will never recover from this. So if any of you out there, any listener out there are considering having children, just know you will have to see your six-year-old fart in your face. SPEAKER_01: 2:58 And they will catch you. Um, un you will have no expectations of it coming. It&#39;ll be a complete surprise. I mean, that has happened to me multiple occasions, but also with my children. But also, here&#39;s where I&#39;m gonna call your bluff, or actually just point out our incredible differences and what a little ice skater of a gay boy you were. You never once were like at sleepovers with friends where somebody bent over, pulled them apart, and farted for the laughter. By the way, let me make very, very clear nothing sexual about it whatsoever, but just being boys. SPEAKER_02: 3:37 Yeah, maybe, but there&#39;s something about like direct overhead lights, point blank range, tiny butthole. Like it was all just so fucking disgusting. And you know, once you once you have kind of left the diaper phase for long enough, you&#39;re you&#39;re kind of you&#39;re not in that area very often. Maybe you help them wash in the bath, but like even they know how to wash their own butt and and maybe you&#39;ll have to wipe their butt every once in a while. But like, you know, I&#39;m kind of out of that area. I&#39;m I&#39;ve I&#39;ve put in my time, I&#39;ve served my nickel, okay? Yes, yes. SPEAKER_01: 4:11 However, so anyway, I&#39;m he must have just he must have been so proud. SPEAKER_02: 4:17 I mean, did he it was like the funniest thing that&#39;s ever happened in his life? He talks about it all the time. He&#39;s like, remember when I farted right on you? I said, No, no, no. It was that you threw your legs over your head, like gave in on prom night and just let it go. So anyway, uh, parenthood, guys. SPEAKER_01: 4:35 I love it. I love it. I mean, that seems like I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m disappointed in your level of shock because I or disgust because I just feel like this is a rite of passage. Yeah. Also, I can&#39;t believe it&#39;s happened, not happened to you before already. I think you&#39;re hiding um your skeletons in your closet from our listener, but nevertheless, um, that was hilarious. Hilarious. Okay, we have we have real shit to talk about, all right? Real shit. We&#39;re already behind the curve, we&#39;re behind the algorithm. Big surprise. Nobody pays attention to us anyway. But listener, if listener has not already seen it, I do think we need being gay representatives of the world, we have to talk about wicked too. SPEAKER_02: 5:14 Yes, leaders in the gay community, I believe, is what we&#39;re doing. SPEAKER_01: 5:18 Exactly, exactly. So, but also knowing that we&#39;re behind the eight ball, everybody&#39;s already discussed it. This is already old news. People have moved on to Zootopia too, uh, which was fine, although I literally took a$26 nap through the first half of it. Uh, I want to know what are your top three thoughts about Wicked? I&#39;m glad it exists. SPEAKER_02: 5:38 Um I uh I won&#39;t like trample on dead stuff, which is like Michelle was terrible as like whatever. We all know that. Arguably miscast, but I just I I I miss a strong, consistent voice in big movies like this. It feels very much done by committee where everyone got to have their say, versus like it really feels consistent. And so I was a little let down in general with the kind of point of view, and especially when you have characters who so dramatically change from the beginning of this story to the end. I very much missed the fact that we go from this beautiful Cynthia Revo, doughy-eyed, oh my god, blah blah blah, to the fucking evilest, wickedest witch in the world. I wanted to see when she was singing No Good Deed, like the cracks in her face and sweat coming from her brows and her teeth out and her spitting. I wanted to see her getting to that point of I am the wicked witch. And instead it was this glossy, pretty, uh over overly CGI song. So I was in general a little disappointed. I&#39;m glad it exists. I enjoyed it enough. And the end. What about you? SPEAKER_01: 6:57 Dear listener, now you know that David really does have tremendous abilities as a visionary director and writer and should be doing this because his level of digging into the weeds put me to sleep. How about you? Can&#39;t we just love it? This is what it&#39;s not working, yeah, yeah. But not analyze it. Okay, well, this is the answer that I was looking for. Number three for me is sex in the tree. I was not expecting to see Jonathan Bailey&#39;s top of his hairy chest, sitting with Cynthia in the tree. I I don&#39;t know what. I I just I guess I&#39;m just not that deep a thinker. Of course, I knew that something was consummated in the song. Uh, what&#39;s their song? What is it called again? Do you hear hear the people sing? Is that what it is? Anyway, their song. I was long as a mind. Yeah, yeah. It it took me out of the side. SPEAKER_02: 7:50 But that was a good example of like that. Should have been those two clawing at each other, you&#39;re ripping their clothes off. It should have been sexy. Instead, it was like polite. It was very polite. It was a song, right? It was a polite before feed on each other. When she turns him around and she goes, for the first time, I finally feel I wanted her to go wicked. Like, like she was about to fucking jump on his ass. Instead, she went wicked, you know, like the name of the movie. I&#39;m like, I want okay. Sorry. SPEAKER_01: 8:19 Number number two for me, yeah. They&#39;re just lost in the desert at the end. And I think that Cynthia&#39;s looking off into the distance, looking at, you know, um Ariana, thinking, oh fuck, I want to go back where it&#39;s colorful, and I can like eat. It&#39;s very windy, and I have sand in my vagina. SPEAKER_02: 8:37 I did not appreciate this. Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 8:39 I have been banished. I have chosen banishment. I did not see that coming. I assume it was in the book, which I did read last century. I definitely remember nothing about it except that Fiero had tattoos all over his body or something like that, which never made it in the musical. But um yeah, the whole desert at the end, I just thought this was not the ending I remembered or wanted for them, because it looks like the rest of their lives are going to be miserable and not like, I chose love, and so there was some sacrifice. No, she&#39;s gonna be like, I chose love for this. This sucks. Anyway, but then here is where I have totally redone our outline because I had so many what would you do moments in the movie where I took my kids to see it in New York City in the 4D theater. It was not worth it to see it in 4D. We should have seen the first one in 4D. Uh, my daughter saw it in the first place. Wait, what&#39;s the fourth D? 4D. There&#39;s a movie theater. There&#39;s movie theaters now sprinkled across the country, and there&#39;s a few in New York that are you are basically, it is the very sober, low-key version of a Star Tours experience where you&#39;re sitting in a chair that moves around a little bit. You have water splashed in your face, you see the feel the wind. At one point, I thought somebody was kicking me in my back. No, no, no. It&#39;s like little things gouging you during the fight scenes and whatnot. It was um a unique experience, but Wicked Two for Good was not the movie to see in 4D. I I we should have literally seen a Marvel movie or something, you said, right? But sitting behind me, I was sitting with my daughter and her friend, and then behind me was my son and his friend. And as the movie went on, um, there were two what seemed like teenage girls sitting next to my son behind me, who were talking more and more and more and more through the movie. And it was becoming very much a classic New York City scene where you&#39;re sitting in a movie wanting to be polite and absorb every single moment of it, but you&#39;re being taken out of it because of this situation, right? It escalates. They have the sex scene, right? And suddenly they&#39;re like, oh, they fucked. Oh, they fucked. Did you see that? They fucked. And I&#39;m like, you&#39;re sitting next to a 12-year-old boy. Must you have this commentary? And it also became a running, um, just complete diatribe throughout the entire movie as they&#39;re narrating everything to us, right? So we&#39;re getting closer and closer to For Good, the song, which is lyrically often stupid, but at the same time marvelous, and you just wanna, and I&#39;m like, bitch, you are not going to ruin this movie at this moment for this fag. You are not gonna do this, and you&#39;re not gonna ruin it for my kids, you&#39;re not gonna ruin it for the people around me. But I was sitting there thinking, I&#39;m sitting next to my 14-year-old daughter who&#39;s gonna be like, Dad, do not embarrass me, do not embarrass me, do not. Finally, I&#39;m like, you know what? I&#39;m a grown ass. I am 50 years old. Half a century. What are they going to do to me? So I can hear the music starting for for good, and I&#39;m like, nope, I&#39;m doing this now. I whip around and I get right up in their faces, and they were like, what the hell? And it wasn&#39;t teenagers, these were like 40-year-old women. And I got up in their faces and I said, I know this movie is not that good, which honestly, it wasn&#39;t that good. I know this isn&#39;t that good, and I I kind of want it to be over too, but we&#39;re coming to the most critical moment in the entire movie. Would you please, for this moment, be quiet? Also, you&#39;re sitting next to my 12-year-old son and watch some of your language. Well, I can imagine that I came out of nowhere in the dark and they were like, What the hell? They weren&#39;t scared, but they were like, I think I spoke too quickly for them, and also I got close to them and I smelled booze. And I&#39;m like, Oh, you&#39;re drunk in the middle of the afternoon. It&#39;s all coming together. But they basically said, You&#39;re good, you&#39;re good. And I&#39;m like, Yeah, I am. But hopefully this solved it. And I went back and they were quiet for the rest of the movie. And so bringing it all together. Oh, thank God. One, I&#39;ve rarely done that before, but to cap this off, and I know you&#39;re already rolling your eyes at me, but my 14-year-old daughter said, Thank you for doing that. And my son said, They were talking through the entire movie, thank you for doing that. And I was like, I for once what I got one win in 2025, which was my par my children were impressed that I shut somebody up at the movie. SPEAKER_02: 13:09 Yeah. I mean, that that is an interesting topic to discuss. I mean, another point is like that line of defending your children uh for their sake, but also for your sake, for for for the immediate thing, which is them shutting up, but also to show them that you will protect them, all of those things and what that line is. And I don&#39;t want to be a Karen, but I think we all in general as people far do it, we do it far less than we should. You should have stood up within the first five seconds, but we&#39;re all worried. A, does this person have a gun? B, am I being a total fucking Karen right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_01: 13:43 Yep. It&#39;s a man going after two women. Does this look ridiculous, etc., etc. etc. SPEAKER_02: 13:48 Ladies, ladies, ladies, a man is talking. SPEAKER_01: 13:50 Please be quiet. Um, but and afterwards I did stand up and I said, Thank you very much. And they said, What did you say earlier? I&#39;m like, You&#39;re so drunk. But they did shut up. SPEAKER_02: 14:00 So listen, clearly their lives have not worked out the way they planned if they are drunk in the middle of the afternoon at three o&#39;clock in the afternoon. Do you know what I mean? SPEAKER_01: 14:09 Um, so all right, thank you for bearing with me. SPEAKER_02: 14:11 Yes, of course. No, we uh uh we&#39;re every everyone wake up, everyone who&#39;s been driving, please wake up. Um, so we got a listener email, and I want to bring up because this is actually tied into something I&#39;m doing at my kids&#39; school right now. We had a listener, our listener, excuse me, our listener, Eric Christian, uh, write in and he was asking us, what are our favorite two dad books? And uh he goes, I was at your your Halloween events, nice to meet you. Thank you for oh, and he also said, Thank you for all that you do and are doing for this community. And I just rolled my eyes. But um, because as a community, um, but he he brought up a good point because I&#39;m on the like DEI committee at my kids&#39; elementary school and they&#39;re putting together like a DEI bookshelf of like oh yeah, whatever, you know. Um uh it&#39;s uh it&#39;s not at Target. But if they were asking me, like, what are some great, you know, queer books or whatever. And I also, like Eric had mentioned, kept going to the same five books of like two gay dads, you know, whatever. So I&#39;m putting it out there to you, listener. If you have one of your favorites, not in Tango Makes Three, and not you know, not all those, but like if there&#39;s a great book that either deals with surrogacy or adoption or two dads or whatever, please, please, please, will you send us a DM, send us an email and let us know? Because I think it would be great for us to find other ones, not only for my kids&#39; bookshelf, but just in general, because we&#39;re all we&#39;ve all read the big ones and they&#39;re all good enough. But I it would be nice to...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is shot at point-blank range by his son, Gavin has criticism for David&apos;s criticism of the Wicked movie, we ask our listener for book recommendations, we have a controversial DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Christmas songs, and t]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is shot at point-blank range by his son, Gavin has criticism for David&apos;s criticism of the Wicked movie, we ask our listener for book recommendations, we have a controversial DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Christmas songs, and this week we are joined by mysterious &#34;Doctor X,&#34; who talks to us about female health and anatomy, when we should talk to our kids about sex, and why she has (some) hope about medicine and social media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? SPEAKER_02: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. SPEAKER_01: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his YesGaddy hat. SPEAKER_02: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. SPEAKER_01: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. SPEAKER_02: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. That daddy clause, the strangely hot uh um uh what am I trying to say? Um oh god damn it. SPEAKER_02: 0:55 What&#39;s the term I knew I knew we&#39;d get it cold open. I knew we did it. I knew we would get it. I knew if I just waited long enough, like I knew it&#39;s a ball, it would arrive. SPEAKER_01: 1:08 And this is Gay Drearks. SPEAKER_02: 1:24 So the other night before bed, I&#39;m trying to get my son dressed for bed, and he&#39;s doing the funny thing where he&#39;s like kicking and saying no, but it&#39;s all playful. And now he&#39;s totally naked, kicking me. I&#39;m trying to put his underwear on. We&#39;re laughing. And then he just stops and he looks him right in the eye, he goes, Dad, watch. And in one fell swoop, he throws his legs over his head and farts right in front of me. And gave and what I realized was I have never seen nor ever wanted to see a close-up fart, a a physiological rendering of a fart from a six-year-old child. And I have been changed for the worse. So what was your immediate reaction? I I literally froze like a deer in the headlights because A, it was gross, but whatever. But B, I was like, that&#39;s what a butthole looks like when it farts. It was horrible. It was like seeing the creature in the alien movie. You just every part of you is like, I will never recover from this. So if any of you out there, any listener out there are considering having children, just know you will have to see your six-year-old fart in your face. SPEAKER_01: 2:58 And they will catch you. Um, un you will have no expectations of it coming. It&#39;ll be a complete surprise. I mean, that has happened to me multiple occasions, but also with my children. But also, here&#39;s where I&#39;m gonna call your bluff, or actually just point out our incredible differences and what a little ice skater of a gay boy you were. You never once were like at sleepovers with friends where somebody bent over, pulled them apart, and farted for the laughter. By the way, let me make very, very clear nothing sexual about it whatsoever, but just being boys. SPEAKER_02: 3:37 Yeah, maybe, but there&#39;s something about like direct overhead lights, point blank range, tiny butthole. Like it was all just so fucking disgusting. And you know, once you once you have kind of left the diaper phase for long enough, you&#39;re you&#39;re kind of you&#39;re not in that area very often. Maybe you help them wash in the bath, but like even they know how to wash their own butt and and maybe you&#39;ll have to wipe their butt every once in a while. But like, you know, I&#39;m kind of out of that area. I&#39;m I&#39;ve I&#39;ve put in my time, I&#39;ve served my nickel, okay? Yes, yes. SPEAKER_01: 4:11 However, so anyway, I&#39;m he must have just he must have been so proud. SPEAKER_02: 4:17 I mean, did he it was like the funniest thing that&#39;s ever happened in his life? He talks about it all the time. He&#39;s like, remember when I farted right on you? I said, No, no, no. It was that you threw your legs over your head, like gave in on prom night and just let it go. So anyway, uh, parenthood, guys. SPEAKER_01: 4:35 I love it. I love it. I mean, that seems like I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m disappointed in your level of shock because I or disgust because I just feel like this is a rite of passage. Yeah. Also, I can&#39;t believe it&#39;s happened, not happened to you before already. I think you&#39;re hiding um your skeletons in your closet from our listener, but nevertheless, um, that was hilarious. Hilarious. Okay, we have we have real shit to talk about, all right? Real shit. We&#39;re already behind the curve, we&#39;re behind the algorithm. Big surprise. Nobody pays attention to us anyway. But listener, if listener has not already seen it, I do think we need being gay representatives of the world, we have to talk about wicked too. SPEAKER_02: 5:14 Yes, leaders in the gay community, I believe, is what we&#39;re doing. SPEAKER_01: 5:18 Exactly, exactly. So, but also knowing that we&#39;re behind the eight ball, everybody&#39;s already discussed it. This is already old news. People have moved on to Zootopia too, uh, which was fine, although I literally took a$26 nap through the first half of it. Uh, I want to know what are your top three thoughts about Wicked? I&#39;m glad it exists. SPEAKER_02: 5:38 Um I uh I won&#39;t like trample on dead stuff, which is like Michelle was terrible as like whatever. We all know that. Arguably miscast, but I just I I I miss a strong, consistent voice in big movies like this. It feels very much done by committee where everyone got to have their say, versus like it really feels consistent. And so I was a little let down in general with the kind of point of view, and especially when you have characters who so dramatically change from the beginning of this story to the end. I very much missed the fact that we go from this beautiful Cynthia Revo, doughy-eyed, oh my god, blah blah blah, to the fucking evilest, wickedest witch in the world. I wanted to see when she was singing No Good Deed, like the cracks in her face and sweat coming from her brows and her teeth out and her spitting. I wanted to see her getting to that point of I am the wicked witch. And instead it was this glossy, pretty, uh over overly CGI song. So I was in general a little disappointed. I&#39;m glad it exists. I enjoyed it enough. And the end. What about you? SPEAKER_01: 6:57 Dear listener, now you know that David really does have tremendous abilities as a visionary director and writer and should be doing this because his level of digging into the weeds put me to sleep. How about you? Can&#39;t we just love it? This is what it&#39;s not working, yeah, yeah. But not analyze it. Okay, well, this is the answer that I was looking for. Number three for me is sex in the tree. I was not expecting to see Jonathan Bailey&#39;s top of his hairy chest, sitting with Cynthia in the tree. I I don&#39;t know what. I I just I guess I&#39;m just not that deep a thinker. Of course, I knew that something was consummated in the song. Uh, what&#39;s their song? What is it called again? Do you hear hear the people sing? Is that what it is? Anyway, their song. I was long as a mind. Yeah, yeah. It it took me out of the side. SPEAKER_02: 7:50 But that was a good example of like that. Should have been those two clawing at each other, you&#39;re ripping their clothes off. It should have been sexy. Instead, it was like polite. It was very polite. It was a song, right? It was a polite before feed on each other. When she turns him around and she goes, for the first time, I finally feel I wanted her to go wicked. Like, like she was about to fucking jump on his ass. Instead, she went wicked, you know, like the name of the movie. I&#39;m like, I want okay. Sorry. SPEAKER_01: 8:19 Number number two for me, yeah. They&#39;re just lost in the desert at the end. And I think that Cynthia&#39;s looking off into the distance, looking at, you know, um Ariana, thinking, oh fuck, I want to go back where it&#39;s colorful, and I can like eat. It&#39;s very windy, and I have sand in my vagina. SPEAKER_02: 8:37 I did not appreciate this. Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 8:39 I have been banished. I have chosen banishment. I did not see that coming. I assume it was in the book, which I did read last century. I definitely remember nothing about it except that Fiero had tattoos all over his body or something like that, which never made it in the musical. But um yeah, the whole desert at the end, I just thought this was not the ending I remembered or wanted for them, because it looks like the rest of their lives are going to be miserable and not like, I chose love, and so there was some sacrifice. No, she&#39;s gonna be like, I chose love for this. This sucks. Anyway, but then here is where I have totally redone our outline because I had so many what would you do moments in the movie where I took my kids to see it in New York City in the 4D theater. It was not worth it to see it in 4D. We should have seen the first one in 4D. Uh, my daughter saw it in the first place. Wait, what&#39;s the fourth D? 4D. There&#39;s a movie theater. There&#39;s movie theaters now sprinkled across the country, and there&#39;s a few in New York that are you are basically, it is the very sober, low-key version of a Star Tours experience where you&#39;re sitting in a chair that moves around a little bit. You have water splashed in your face, you see the feel the wind. At one point, I thought somebody was kicking me in my back. No, no, no. It&#39;s like little things gouging you during the fight scenes and whatnot. It was um a unique experience, but Wicked Two for Good was not the movie to see in 4D. I I we should have literally seen a Marvel movie or something, you said, right? But sitting behind me, I was sitting with my daughter and her friend, and then behind me was my son and his friend. And as the movie went on, um, there were two what seemed like teenage girls sitting next to my son behind me, who were talking more and more and more and more through the movie. And it was becoming very much a classic New York City scene where you&#39;re sitting in a movie wanting to be polite and absorb every single moment of it, but you&#39;re being taken out of it because of this situation, right? It escalates. They have the sex scene, right? And suddenly they&#39;re like, oh, they fucked. Oh, they fucked. Did you see that? They fucked. And I&#39;m like, you&#39;re sitting next to a 12-year-old boy. Must you have this commentary? And it also became a running, um, just complete diatribe throughout the entire movie as they&#39;re narrating everything to us, right? So we&#39;re getting closer and closer to For Good, the song, which is lyrically often stupid, but at the same time marvelous, and you just wanna, and I&#39;m like, bitch, you are not going to ruin this movie at this moment for this fag. You are not gonna do this, and you&#39;re not gonna ruin it for my kids, you&#39;re not gonna ruin it for the people around me. But I was sitting there thinking, I&#39;m sitting next to my 14-year-old daughter who&#39;s gonna be like, Dad, do not embarrass me, do not embarrass me, do not. Finally, I&#39;m like, you know what? I&#39;m a grown ass. I am 50 years old. Half a century. What are they going to do to me? So I can hear the music starting for for good, and I&#39;m like, nope, I&#39;m doing this now. I whip around and I get right up in their faces, and they were like, what the hell? And it wasn&#39;t teenagers, these were like 40-year-old women. And I got up in their faces and I said, I know this movie is not that good, which honestly, it wasn&#39;t that good. I know this isn&#39;t that good, and I I kind of want it to be over too, but we&#39;re coming to the most critical moment in the entire movie. Would you please, for this moment, be quiet? Also, you&#39;re sitting next to my 12-year-old son and watch some of your language. Well, I can imagine that I came out of nowhere in the dark and they were like, What the hell? They weren&#39;t scared, but they were like, I think I spoke too quickly for them, and also I got close to them and I smelled booze. And I&#39;m like, Oh, you&#39;re drunk in the middle of the afternoon. It&#39;s all coming together. But they basically said, You&#39;re good, you&#39;re good. And I&#39;m like, Yeah, I am. But hopefully this solved it. And I went back and they were quiet for the rest of the movie. And so bringing it all together. Oh, thank God. One, I&#39;ve rarely done that before, but to cap this off, and I know you&#39;re already rolling your eyes at me, but my 14-year-old daughter said, Thank you for doing that. And my son said, They were talking through the entire movie, thank you for doing that. And I was like, I for once what I got one win in 2025, which was my par my children were impressed that I shut somebody up at the movie. SPEAKER_02: 13:09 Yeah. I mean, that that is an interesting topic to discuss. I mean, another point is like that line of defending your children uh for their sake, but also for your sake, for for for the immediate thing, which is them shutting up, but also to show them that you will protect them, all of those things and what that line is. And I don&#39;t want to be a Karen, but I think we all in general as people far do it, we do it far less than we should. You should have stood up within the first five seconds, but we&#39;re all worried. A, does this person have a gun? B, am I being a total fucking Karen right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_01: 13:43 Yep. It&#39;s a man going after two women. Does this look ridiculous, etc., etc. etc. SPEAKER_02: 13:48 Ladies, ladies, ladies, a man is talking. SPEAKER_01: 13:50 Please be quiet. Um, but and afterwards I did stand up and I said, Thank you very much. And they said, What did you say earlier? I&#39;m like, You&#39;re so drunk. But they did shut up. SPEAKER_02: 14:00 So listen, clearly their lives have not worked out the way they planned if they are drunk in the middle of the afternoon at three o&#39;clock in the afternoon. Do you know what I mean? SPEAKER_01: 14:09 Um, so all right, thank you for bearing with me. SPEAKER_02: 14:11 Yes, of course. No, we uh uh we&#39;re every everyone wake up, everyone who&#39;s been driving, please wake up. Um, so we got a listener email, and I want to bring up because this is actually tied into something I&#39;m doing at my kids&#39; school right now. We had a listener, our listener, excuse me, our listener, Eric Christian, uh, write in and he was asking us, what are our favorite two dad books? And uh he goes, I was at your your Halloween events, nice to meet you. Thank you for oh, and he also said, Thank you for all that you do and are doing for this community. And I just rolled my eyes. But um, because as a community, um, but he he brought up a good point because I&#39;m on the like DEI committee at my kids&#39; elementary school and they&#39;re putting together like a DEI bookshelf of like oh yeah, whatever, you know. Um uh it&#39;s uh it&#39;s not at Target. But if they were asking me, like, what are some great, you know, queer books or whatever. And I also, like Eric had mentioned, kept going to the same five books of like two gay dads, you know, whatever. So I&#39;m putting it out there to you, listener. If you have one of your favorites, not in Tango Makes Three, and not you know, not all those, but like if there&#39;s a great book that either deals with surrogacy or adoption or two dads or whatever, please, please, please, will you send us a DM, send us an email and let us know? Because I think it would be great for us to find other ones, not only for my kids&#39; bookshelf, but just in general, because we&#39;re all we&#39;ve all read the big ones and they&#39;re all good enough. But I it would be nice to...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is shot at point-blank range by his son, Gavin has criticism for David&apos;s criticism of the Wicked movie, we ask our listener for book recommendations, we have a controversial DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Christmas songs, and this week we are joined by mysterious &#34;Doctor X,&#34; who talks to us about female health and anatomy, when we should talk to our kids about sex, and why she has (some) hope about medicine and social media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? SPEAKER_02: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. SPEAKER_01: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his YesGaddy hat. SPEAKER_02: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. SPEAKER_01: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. SPEAKER_02: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygaddies.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. That daddy clause, the strangely hot uh um uh what am I trying to say? Um oh god damn it. SPEAKER_02: 0:55 What&#39;s the term I knew I knew we&#39;d get it cold open. I knew we did it. I knew we would get it. I knew if I just waited long enough, like I knew it&#39;s a ball, it would arrive. SPEAKER_01: 1:08 And this is Gay Drearks. SPEAKER_02: 1:24 So the other night before bed, I&#39;m trying to get my son dressed for bed, and he&#39;s doing the funny thing where he&#39;s like kicking and saying no, but it&#39;s all playful. And now he&#39;s totally naked, kicking me. I&#39;m trying to put his underwear on. We&#39;re laughing. And then he just stops and he looks him right in the eye, he goes, Dad, watch. And in one fell swoop, he throws his legs over his head and farts right in front of me. And gave and what I realized was I have never seen nor ever wanted to see a close-up fart, a a physiological rendering of a fart from a six-year-old child. And I have been changed for the worse. So what was your immediate reaction? I I literally froze like a deer in the headlights because A, it was gross, but whatever. But B, I was like, that&#39;s what a butthole looks like when it farts. It was horrible. It was like seeing the creature in the alien movie. You just every part of you is like, I will never recover from this. So if any of you out there, any listener out there are considering having children, just know you will have to see your six-year-old fart in your face. SPEAKER_01: 2:58 And they will catch you. Um, un you will have no expectations of it coming. It&#39;ll be a complete surprise. I mean, that has happened to me multiple occasions, but also with my children. But also, here&#39;s where I&#39;m gonna call your bluff, or actually just point out our incredible differences and what a little ice skater of a gay boy you were. You never once were like at sleepovers with friends where somebody bent over, pulled them apart, and farted for the laughter. By the way, let me make very, very clear nothing sexual about it whatsoever, but just being boys. SPEAKER_02: 3:37 Yeah, maybe, but there&#39;s something about like direct overhead lights, point blank range, tiny butthole. Like it was all just so fucking disgusting. And you know, once you once you have kind of left the diaper phase for long enough, you&#39;re you&#39;re kind of you&#39;re not in that area very often. Maybe you help them wash in the bath, but like even they know how to wash their own butt and and maybe you&#39;ll have to wipe their butt every once in a while. But like, you know, I&#39;m kind of out of that area. I&#39;m I&#39;ve I&#39;ve put in my time]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is shot at point-blank range by his son, Gavin has criticism for David&apos;s criticism of the Wicked movie, we ask our listener for book recommendations, we have a controversial DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Christmas songs, and this week we are joined by mysterious &#34;Doctor X,&#34; who talks to us about female health and anatomy, when we should talk to our kids about sex, and why she has (some) hope about medicine and social media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? SPEAKER_02: 0:03 Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. SPEAKER_01: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his YesGaddy hat. SPEAKER]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Joey Chancey</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-joey-chancey/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Nov 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David are terminally uncool, David takes gay Dad advice from Jinkx Monsoon, there is good news with lesbians, we rank the top 3 Thanksgiving sides, and this week we are joined by musician and Inside Out dad Joey Chancey who talks to us about the process of becoming a Dad, what the highlight of his career was, and how he found himself gay in the Vatican. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast This episode of Gaytriarchs is brought to you by heygaddies.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. So I&#39;m going to do a little soft intro of you and then we will pop into it, okay? Yep. Sorry. Get those burps out, baby. Get those burp. That baby. SPEAKER_00: 0:54 Burp that baby out. And and and where do I look? Just wherever. David: 0:58 Look deep into my eyes or make direct eye contact with me consistently. But don&#39;t look at me, but look right at me. Okay? Got it. I&#39;ll look through you. Most men do, honestly. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:26 So, David, did you know that we are profoundly uncool? David: 1:32 I&#39;m I&#39;m painfully aware of this. Gavin: 1:35 I just the other day I was posting something, one of our um social media videos that got at least two or three likes, one of which was probably mine. And my daughter walks behind me and she&#39;s reminded and she goes, Oh my god, dad, stop following me on Instagram. That would be the most embarrassed thing ever if anyone at school ever find out about your stupid podcast. And I&#39;m like, first of all, can you go back, slow down, and repeat what you just said? And I but then, but then in my true insecure immediate reaction of, oh my god, how did I fuck up this time? My thought was, wait, why is our podcast following my daughter? Why on earth? Why on earth would I have done such a thing? Because I&#39;m sure that it was me who did it. Why would we be following her? David: 2:21 You don&#39;t know where you&#39;re logged in, on who. You&#39;re like, I sent you a telegram message on Instagram reels to the mail, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about. Gavin: 2:29 And why didn&#39;t you make a TikTok video response to it and tweet it to me? I I so there were so many things to unpack there, not the least of which was, excuse me, it&#39;s cool that you&#39;re dead. David: 2:44 Never mind. We have 10 of listener of this podcast. There is so many persons that loves this show. Gavin: 2:50 So that is Well, she then clearly she were operates like I do, and she had thought about this 75 times, apparently, over the last who knows how long. And then this prompted her to remind me, to remind herself, to block us and disfollow us, or whatever the phrase may be. So we have been we have been forced to unfollow my daughter, which by the way, I am perfectly fine with because we should not be following children on this account by any stretch of the imagination. And that&#39;s nothing more than just maintaining our own, frankly, coolness. Like we do not need to be following people. David: 3:30 Unless we&#39;re the president and she&#39;s 15. Then it&#39;s okay. Or if we&#39;re Megan Kelly and we think she&#39;s 15. Um, yes, no, that that is true. Also, like putting putting myself in her shoes, yeah, that&#39;s fucking my dad is a podcast. What a fucking loser. Yeah. Gavin: 3:45 Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Especially because podcasting was not cool as of about 15 years ago. And here and yet here we are still plugging away. So if you wondered, um, listener out there, thank you for thinking that we&#39;re, I don&#39;t know if you think we&#39;re cool, but you do stick with us and thank you for doing so, because my daughter certainly has not. Meanwhile, the conversation continued a few days later when she said, by the way, dad, can you just I I didn&#39;t write this in the outline for your sake. By the way, dad, can you just like stop podcasting? Because insert name here said, Oh my god, did your dad have a podcast? And I had to blatantly look her in the look her in the eye and say, No, he does not. So, dad, please delete everything. David: 4:33 So basically, you do not exist publicly in any way. Gavin: 4:38 That is, and welcome to teenagerhood. Yes. Oh my god. Not only are we not cool, I&#39;ve been told to erase my existence. David: 4:47 I just I obviously, like, she&#39;s a fucking bitch by saying that. But also, also, I totally get it. Like being her age, my parents would breathe, and I was like, oh, you&#39;re the most humiliating piece, bundle of cells I&#39;ve ever experienced in my entire life. Yes. And I just, it&#39;s funny to me because it&#39;s happening to you and not to me. When it&#39;s happening to me, I will be devastated. Gavin: 5:11 Yes, you will be. And also, it&#39;s funny that you think you&#39;re being hyperbolic and saying your parents&#39; breathing annoyed you, but I don&#39;t know how many times I have had other parents text me that they&#39;re like, well, my daughter or my son is annoyed by my breathing now. No, legitimately. Legit. And I mean, we do know, I can make the disclaimer. I do watch what I say on here because I do have a daughter old enough to listen to a podcast. Not that she&#39;s supposed to, because this is not supposed to be for children. Disclaimer. SPEAKER_02: 5:41 Yeah. Gavin: 5:41 Um, and you know, that I stand by the things I say, and um, and I love her more than oxygen. And sorry, I&#39;m gonna keep embarrassing you for the next 131 episodes. David: 5:55 So speaking of our episodes, I every once in a while will actually think about the show, prepare for it, do some deep dive. And I was just curious because you know, we had talked about our listener across the world, and we have, you know, obviously listener in Jersey, which you flew over, but like, you know, we we really do have a listener in quite a few countries. And I was like, hmm, I&#39;m gonna go look at our stats because the pro the platform that we released the show on will give you a certain amount of stats. It&#39;s obviously like download numbers, like how many uh people have downloaded each episode. Gavin: 6:23 But it&#39;s and by people you mean persons. Persons, sorry, yeah. David: 6:26 Anyway, um what countries uh they&#39;re from, what what what um you know devices they&#39;re using, a whole bunch of things. So I was curious, I was like, what was our most downloaded or our most listened to episode? And I wish I hadn&#39;t put it in the outline because I would have I would have asked you what you thought it was, but for a while it was our first episode, which makes sense because we only had you know 50, 100 episodes, so people would probably go back to the beginning and and listen. But now it&#39;s episode 80 with Jose Monkey, and I just think that&#39;s really interesting because I&#39;m a huge fan of his, he&#39;s got millions of followers, but we&#39;ve had other people on here with millions of followers, but something about that episode, yeah. Interesting. Gavin: 7:04 That and it was a particularly funny one, I might add. Um, but that is not what I would have expected. I mean, if you had said what do you think is our biggest listen? Gosh. I mean, I don&#39;t want to out anybody or embarrass anybody or offend anybody. So uh anyway, this is not what I would have guessed. But hey, no offense, Jose Monkey. Yeah, thank you. David: 7:23 We love all of our guests, every single one of them. And you know what else I love? Tell me, Thanksgiving. Yes, it&#39;s tomorrow. Um this is a uniquely American version of this holiday. I think every kind of a lot of cultures have this sort of holiday, but like we in America, we overeat to celebrate pilgrims raping and pillaging the natives. I don&#39;t really know what it&#39;s about, but it has ended up becoming this like very family sitting around a table eating uh a holiday. And it&#39;s tomorrow, listener. So tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, listener. Gavin: 7:55 Happy, happy Thanksgiving. Years ago, I was on tour with uh, I believe it was 42nd Street. I was in Dallas and I was walking around downtown Dallas, which is not something anybody on the 42nd Street tour, let alone anybody, period, has ever really done, I believe, walking downtown Dallas. And there&#39;s a monument to Thanksgiving there. And at first I thought, what? And then I saw that it was consecrated or unveiled or something by governor at the time, George W. Bush. And I immediately thought, oh brother, he&#39;s making this into a religious thing. He&#39;s making it this, that, he&#39;s making it super schmaltzy bush. But then actually I looked around it more, and it really wasn&#39;t that way. It was absolutely a m a monument to the act of giving gratitude and date. Here we go. It was there, it was there that it all began. And I realized oh, so much more that A, Thanksgiving is not a religious thing. B, it is founded in a terrible history. But see, you know, there&#39;s Canadian Thanksgiving, there&#39;s cultures that celebrate the harvest, and they give thanks to, you know, Madonna Cher and all of the gods in the world who make it possible that we can gorge ourselves. And ain&#39;t we grateful for that? So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. David: 9:16 Yeah, happy Thanksgiving. Um, I have something helpful for you. I have a dad hack this week. And it&#39;s not actually a dad hack, it&#39;s more of a I don&#39;t know what it is, but we&#39;ve talked about it a little bit before. But I had this experience this weekend with my children who were 90% great. It was a pretty good weekend, but the 10% was so bad. I felt my anger rise to the point of where I was gonna leave the family and move to Idaho. And so I realized I was thinking about the wise words of our god, Miss Jinx Monsoon. And she would talk about water off a duck&#39;s back. And I realized that I I think of parenting sometimes as like, I&#39;ve gotta fix why my kid&#39;s crying, I&#39;ve got to fix why my kid doesn&#39;t eat well, I gotta, I gotta fix whatever the thing I decided is a problem. And the truth is, and every parent knows this, a lot of the time, if not the majority of the time, it&#39;s bullshit. It&#39;s not real problems to fix, they&#39;re just being dicks. Children are dicks, and so the solve lies on you letting that shit go, letting that shit wash over you, let the complaining that you don&#39;t get the third cookie wash over you. Because what I do is I ingest it and it builds in my stomach, and then I yell at my kids and then you take the bait. I totally take the bait. Oh my god, it&#39;s like a Facebook argument. I totally, it&#39;s cadmif to me. And so I realized this weekend, I had to re-realize because I have to keep telling myself this is that when they&#39;re in those states where there&#39;s not actually a problem to solve, they&#39;re just being dicks, you have to let it go. They you can&#39;t fix it on their side, you just have to let that water roll off the dice back. Thank you, Jinx monsoon. Gavin: 10:58 If we could possibly internalize that, we would all be better off. But instead, we will continue to forget about it. We will continue to forget about it, internalize it, forget about it until after the fact. And yeah. Uh well. Well, things that I won&#39;t forget. Um, I have a what would you do, David? SPEAKER_02: 11:18 What would you do? Gavin: 11:22 So last week my son had some friends over. Very good. David: 11:26 I can&#39;t believe you didn&#39;t sing it, by the way. I just want to point out our listener out there is very disappointed that you didn&#39;t sing it. Gavin: 11:32 Well, you put in the sound effect, so uh we&#39;ve we&#39;re mature, we&#39;ve moved on. We&#39;re cool now. We don&#39;t elevated. This is an elevated podcast now. So um, my son and some friends were sitting around. I am friends with all these kids. I respect them, I like them, and I like the parents. Something happened though, and I didn&#39;t know what to do in the moment. I was so taken aback. The boys were sitting around and they were kind of doing this chant thing like, uh, my name is Rick. I got a big dick. And I did overhear them say that a couple of times, and uh, I let it go. Then one of the kids said, Okay, pretend my name my voice is really high, and I&#39;m gonna say, My name is Ray, and I am and I heard him muffle it a little bit. I was doing the dishes, and I immediately snapped a lookover at one of the kids who didn&#39;t say it, and that kid immediately said, I didn&#39;t say it! He did, he did, he did. And I, in the moment, I was so taken aback by it. I admit I did nothing. But boy, have I been thinking about it incessantly for a week. You didn&#39;t let it roll off your back. No, no, there was well, I hadn&#39;t heard your hack yet, so now I will. Now I&#39;ll be able to. And ultimately, I chose not to make it a big deal, obviously. But before I go into a little bit of my existential um uh odyssey on this topic, I want to know, David. SPEAKER_02: 13:07 What would you do? David: 13:12 I regret asking you to sing it. Um so I I think my initial, I&#39;ll just tell you my gut. My gut said, I have said some heinous shit before. Well, I I do not have a great history of being a preteen and saying kind things, okay? Uh-huh. However, it didn&#39;t seem malicious. I think I would have been like, oh, you mean gay? Yeah, he&#39;s totally gay. I know Rick. Haha. Like I would have uh released the tension a little bit. I would have been like, you could say gay, like my name is Dave, and I am gay. Like that is totally fine. If it was like, my name is Bob Sagitt, and you know, and then we went on, then then I think I would have said something. But I think I think it that way, like, take the air out of the room. Guys, yeah, you know I&#39;m gay. Gay is a funny word. It&#39;s it&#39;s probably your top five favorite words. Go ahead and say gay. Gavin: 14:05 And you rhymed it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you just rhymed it. And what&#39;s the big deal? Like, yeah, you know, the the dicks out there are not pissed off that they were rhymed with, right? So you know, I think I think you&#39;re very right. And it I again, I didn&#39;t make a deal out of it. Um, I do yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to me. Listen to me. You&#39;re right. You&#39;re right. Period. You&#39;re right. Love it. That&#39;s all I wanted to hear. Okay. Uh, moving on to news of the week. Guess what? There&#39;s absolutely no good news in the week. Oh, man. None. I mean, none. There really, I mean, there&#39;s some little points here that we get to like notch um a little win here and there, but really, there&#39;s no good news. I will say this piqued my interest, though, and it falls under the good category, which is a hotel in Massachusetts, not you know, Utah or West Virginia. Massachusetts uh had to apologize to a lesbian couple because a security guard ejected them from a bathroom. Why? Because one was mistaken for male. Now, a lot to unpack here, not the least of which is it&#39;s Massachusetts. The assumptions made also trans rights in bathrooms surely is fine in Massachusetts. Please correct me if I&#39;m wrong. But let&#39;s focus on the good here, which at least the hotel did the right thing and they apologized, right? David: 15:32 Right. I I will I will not take the bait on this one. I will say there is only positive to the story, which is I had to apologize and not the fucking insane thing that we do, which is all reducing down to you must check...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David are terminally uncool, David takes gay Dad advice from Jinkx Monsoon, there is good news with lesbians, we rank the top 3 Thanksgiving sides, and this week we are joined by musician and Inside Out dad Joey Chancey who talks to ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David are terminally uncool, David takes gay Dad advice from Jinkx Monsoon, there is good news with lesbians, we rank the top 3 Thanksgiving sides, and this week we are joined by musician and Inside Out dad Joey Chancey who talks to us about the process of becoming a Dad, what the highlight of his career was, and how he found himself gay in the Vatican. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast This episode of Gaytriarchs is brought to you by heygaddies.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. So I&#39;m going to do a little soft intro of you and then we will pop into it, okay? Yep. Sorry. Get those burps out, baby. Get those burp. That baby. SPEAKER_00: 0:54 Burp that baby out. And and and where do I look? Just wherever. David: 0:58 Look deep into my eyes or make direct eye contact with me consistently. But don&#39;t look at me, but look right at me. Okay? Got it. I&#39;ll look through you. Most men do, honestly. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:26 So, David, did you know that we are profoundly uncool? David: 1:32 I&#39;m I&#39;m painfully aware of this. Gavin: 1:35 I just the other day I was posting something, one of our um social media videos that got at least two or three likes, one of which was probably mine. And my daughter walks behind me and she&#39;s reminded and she goes, Oh my god, dad, stop following me on Instagram. That would be the most embarrassed thing ever if anyone at school ever find out about your stupid podcast. And I&#39;m like, first of all, can you go back, slow down, and repeat what you just said? And I but then, but then in my true insecure immediate reaction of, oh my god, how did I fuck up this time? My thought was, wait, why is our podcast following my daughter? Why on earth? Why on earth would I have done such a thing? Because I&#39;m sure that it was me who did it. Why would we be following her? David: 2:21 You don&#39;t know where you&#39;re logged in, on who. You&#39;re like, I sent you a telegram message on Instagram reels to the mail, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about. Gavin: 2:29 And why didn&#39;t you make a TikTok video response to it and tweet it to me? I I so there were so many things to unpack there, not the least of which was, excuse me, it&#39;s cool that you&#39;re dead. David: 2:44 Never mind. We have 10 of listener of this podcast. There is so many persons that loves this show. Gavin: 2:50 So that is Well, she then clearly she were operates like I do, and she had thought about this 75 times, apparently, over the last who knows how long. And then this prompted her to remind me, to remind herself, to block us and disfollow us, or whatever the phrase may be. So we have been we have been forced to unfollow my daughter, which by the way, I am perfectly fine with because we should not be following children on this account by any stretch of the imagination. And that&#39;s nothing more than just maintaining our own, frankly, coolness. Like we do not need to be following people. David: 3:30 Unless we&#39;re the president and she&#39;s 15. Then it&#39;s okay. Or if we&#39;re Megan Kelly and we think she&#39;s 15. Um, yes, no, that that is true. Also, like putting putting myself in her shoes, yeah, that&#39;s fucking my dad is a podcast. What a fucking loser. Yeah. Gavin: 3:45 Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Especially because podcasting was not cool as of about 15 years ago. And here and yet here we are still plugging away. So if you wondered, um, listener out there, thank you for thinking that we&#39;re, I don&#39;t know if you think we&#39;re cool, but you do stick with us and thank you for doing so, because my daughter certainly has not. Meanwhile, the conversation continued a few days later when she said, by the way, dad, can you just I I didn&#39;t write this in the outline for your sake. By the way, dad, can you just like stop podcasting? Because insert name here said, Oh my god, did your dad have a podcast? And I had to blatantly look her in the look her in the eye and say, No, he does not. So, dad, please delete everything. David: 4:33 So basically, you do not exist publicly in any way. Gavin: 4:38 That is, and welcome to teenagerhood. Yes. Oh my god. Not only are we not cool, I&#39;ve been told to erase my existence. David: 4:47 I just I obviously, like, she&#39;s a fucking bitch by saying that. But also, also, I totally get it. Like being her age, my parents would breathe, and I was like, oh, you&#39;re the most humiliating piece, bundle of cells I&#39;ve ever experienced in my entire life. Yes. And I just, it&#39;s funny to me because it&#39;s happening to you and not to me. When it&#39;s happening to me, I will be devastated. Gavin: 5:11 Yes, you will be. And also, it&#39;s funny that you think you&#39;re being hyperbolic and saying your parents&#39; breathing annoyed you, but I don&#39;t know how many times I have had other parents text me that they&#39;re like, well, my daughter or my son is annoyed by my breathing now. No, legitimately. Legit. And I mean, we do know, I can make the disclaimer. I do watch what I say on here because I do have a daughter old enough to listen to a podcast. Not that she&#39;s supposed to, because this is not supposed to be for children. Disclaimer. SPEAKER_02: 5:41 Yeah. Gavin: 5:41 Um, and you know, that I stand by the things I say, and um, and I love her more than oxygen. And sorry, I&#39;m gonna keep embarrassing you for the next 131 episodes. David: 5:55 So speaking of our episodes, I every once in a while will actually think about the show, prepare for it, do some deep dive. And I was just curious because you know, we had talked about our listener across the world, and we have, you know, obviously listener in Jersey, which you flew over, but like, you know, we we really do have a listener in quite a few countries. And I was like, hmm, I&#39;m gonna go look at our stats because the pro the platform that we released the show on will give you a certain amount of stats. It&#39;s obviously like download numbers, like how many uh people have downloaded each episode. Gavin: 6:23 But it&#39;s and by people you mean persons. Persons, sorry, yeah. David: 6:26 Anyway, um what countries uh they&#39;re from, what what what um you know devices they&#39;re using, a whole bunch of things. So I was curious, I was like, what was our most downloaded or our most listened to episode? And I wish I hadn&#39;t put it in the outline because I would have I would have asked you what you thought it was, but for a while it was our first episode, which makes sense because we only had you know 50, 100 episodes, so people would probably go back to the beginning and and listen. But now it&#39;s episode 80 with Jose Monkey, and I just think that&#39;s really interesting because I&#39;m a huge fan of his, he&#39;s got millions of followers, but we&#39;ve had other people on here with millions of followers, but something about that episode, yeah. Interesting. Gavin: 7:04 That and it was a particularly funny one, I might add. Um, but that is not what I would have expected. I mean, if you had said what do you think is our biggest listen? Gosh. I mean, I don&#39;t want to out anybody or embarrass anybody or offend anybody. So uh anyway, this is not what I would have guessed. But hey, no offense, Jose Monkey. Yeah, thank you. David: 7:23 We love all of our guests, every single one of them. And you know what else I love? Tell me, Thanksgiving. Yes, it&#39;s tomorrow. Um this is a uniquely American version of this holiday. I think every kind of a lot of cultures have this sort of holiday, but like we in America, we overeat to celebrate pilgrims raping and pillaging the natives. I don&#39;t really know what it&#39;s about, but it has ended up becoming this like very family sitting around a table eating uh a holiday. And it&#39;s tomorrow, listener. So tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, listener. Gavin: 7:55 Happy, happy Thanksgiving. Years ago, I was on tour with uh, I believe it was 42nd Street. I was in Dallas and I was walking around downtown Dallas, which is not something anybody on the 42nd Street tour, let alone anybody, period, has ever really done, I believe, walking downtown Dallas. And there&#39;s a monument to Thanksgiving there. And at first I thought, what? And then I saw that it was consecrated or unveiled or something by governor at the time, George W. Bush. And I immediately thought, oh brother, he&#39;s making this into a religious thing. He&#39;s making it this, that, he&#39;s making it super schmaltzy bush. But then actually I looked around it more, and it really wasn&#39;t that way. It was absolutely a m a monument to the act of giving gratitude and date. Here we go. It was there, it was there that it all began. And I realized oh, so much more that A, Thanksgiving is not a religious thing. B, it is founded in a terrible history. But see, you know, there&#39;s Canadian Thanksgiving, there&#39;s cultures that celebrate the harvest, and they give thanks to, you know, Madonna Cher and all of the gods in the world who make it possible that we can gorge ourselves. And ain&#39;t we grateful for that? So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. David: 9:16 Yeah, happy Thanksgiving. Um, I have something helpful for you. I have a dad hack this week. And it&#39;s not actually a dad hack, it&#39;s more of a I don&#39;t know what it is, but we&#39;ve talked about it a little bit before. But I had this experience this weekend with my children who were 90% great. It was a pretty good weekend, but the 10% was so bad. I felt my anger rise to the point of where I was gonna leave the family and move to Idaho. And so I realized I was thinking about the wise words of our god, Miss Jinx Monsoon. And she would talk about water off a duck&#39;s back. And I realized that I I think of parenting sometimes as like, I&#39;ve gotta fix why my kid&#39;s crying, I&#39;ve got to fix why my kid doesn&#39;t eat well, I gotta, I gotta fix whatever the thing I decided is a problem. And the truth is, and every parent knows this, a lot of the time, if not the majority of the time, it&#39;s bullshit. It&#39;s not real problems to fix, they&#39;re just being dicks. Children are dicks, and so the solve lies on you letting that shit go, letting that shit wash over you, let the complaining that you don&#39;t get the third cookie wash over you. Because what I do is I ingest it and it builds in my stomach, and then I yell at my kids and then you take the bait. I totally take the bait. Oh my god, it&#39;s like a Facebook argument. I totally, it&#39;s cadmif to me. And so I realized this weekend, I had to re-realize because I have to keep telling myself this is that when they&#39;re in those states where there&#39;s not actually a problem to solve, they&#39;re just being dicks, you have to let it go. They you can&#39;t fix it on their side, you just have to let that water roll off the dice back. Thank you, Jinx monsoon. Gavin: 10:58 If we could possibly internalize that, we would all be better off. But instead, we will continue to forget about it. We will continue to forget about it, internalize it, forget about it until after the fact. And yeah. Uh well. Well, things that I won&#39;t forget. Um, I have a what would you do, David? SPEAKER_02: 11:18 What would you do? Gavin: 11:22 So last week my son had some friends over. Very good. David: 11:26 I can&#39;t believe you didn&#39;t sing it, by the way. I just want to point out our listener out there is very disappointed that you didn&#39;t sing it. Gavin: 11:32 Well, you put in the sound effect, so uh we&#39;ve we&#39;re mature, we&#39;ve moved on. We&#39;re cool now. We don&#39;t elevated. This is an elevated podcast now. So um, my son and some friends were sitting around. I am friends with all these kids. I respect them, I like them, and I like the parents. Something happened though, and I didn&#39;t know what to do in the moment. I was so taken aback. The boys were sitting around and they were kind of doing this chant thing like, uh, my name is Rick. I got a big dick. And I did overhear them say that a couple of times, and uh, I let it go. Then one of the kids said, Okay, pretend my name my voice is really high, and I&#39;m gonna say, My name is Ray, and I am and I heard him muffle it a little bit. I was doing the dishes, and I immediately snapped a lookover at one of the kids who didn&#39;t say it, and that kid immediately said, I didn&#39;t say it! He did, he did, he did. And I, in the moment, I was so taken aback by it. I admit I did nothing. But boy, have I been thinking about it incessantly for a week. You didn&#39;t let it roll off your back. No, no, there was well, I hadn&#39;t heard your hack yet, so now I will. Now I&#39;ll be able to. And ultimately, I chose not to make it a big deal, obviously. But before I go into a little bit of my existential um uh odyssey on this topic, I want to know, David. SPEAKER_02: 13:07 What would you do? David: 13:12 I regret asking you to sing it. Um so I I think my initial, I&#39;ll just tell you my gut. My gut said, I have said some heinous shit before. Well, I I do not have a great history of being a preteen and saying kind things, okay? Uh-huh. However, it didn&#39;t seem malicious. I think I would have been like, oh, you mean gay? Yeah, he&#39;s totally gay. I know Rick. Haha. Like I would have uh released the tension a little bit. I would have been like, you could say gay, like my name is Dave, and I am gay. Like that is totally fine. If it was like, my name is Bob Sagitt, and you know, and then we went on, then then I think I would have said something. But I think I think it that way, like, take the air out of the room. Guys, yeah, you know I&#39;m gay. Gay is a funny word. It&#39;s it&#39;s probably your top five favorite words. Go ahead and say gay. Gavin: 14:05 And you rhymed it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you just rhymed it. And what&#39;s the big deal? Like, yeah, you know, the the dicks out there are not pissed off that they were rhymed with, right? So you know, I think I think you&#39;re very right. And it I again, I didn&#39;t make a deal out of it. Um, I do yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to me. Listen to me. You&#39;re right. You&#39;re right. Period. You&#39;re right. Love it. That&#39;s all I wanted to hear. Okay. Uh, moving on to news of the week. Guess what? There&#39;s absolutely no good news in the week. Oh, man. None. I mean, none. There really, I mean, there&#39;s some little points here that we get to like notch um a little win here and there, but really, there&#39;s no good news. I will say this piqued my interest, though, and it falls under the good category, which is a hotel in Massachusetts, not you know, Utah or West Virginia. Massachusetts uh had to apologize to a lesbian couple because a security guard ejected them from a bathroom. Why? Because one was mistaken for male. Now, a lot to unpack here, not the least of which is it&#39;s Massachusetts. The assumptions made also trans rights in bathrooms surely is fine in Massachusetts. Please correct me if I&#39;m wrong. But let&#39;s focus on the good here, which at least the hotel did the right thing and they apologized, right? David: 15:32 Right. I I will I will not take the bait on this one. I will say there is only positive to the story, which is I had to apologize and not the fucking insane thing that we do, which is all reducing down to you must check...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David are terminally uncool, David takes gay Dad advice from Jinkx Monsoon, there is good news with lesbians, we rank the top 3 Thanksgiving sides, and this week we are joined by musician and Inside Out dad Joey Chancey who talks to us about the process of becoming a Dad, what the highlight of his career was, and how he found himself gay in the Vatican. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast This episode of Gaytriarchs is brought to you by heygaddies.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a dad romance t-shirt. Gavin: 0:24 Caught in a bad romance. David: 0:28 Gatriarch&#39;s listeners get 20% off their first order using code GAY20. Gavin: 0:34 Shop now for the holidays for all of your friends gay or other at heygadys.com. That&#39;s H-E-Y-G-A-D-D-I-E-S.com. So I&#39;m going to do a little soft intro of you and then we will pop into it, okay? Yep. Sorry. Get those burps out, baby. Get those burp. That baby. SPEAKER_00: 0:54 Burp that baby out. And and and where do I look? Just wherever. David: 0:58 Look deep into my eyes or make direct eye contact with me consistently. But don&#39;t look at me, but look right at me. Okay? Got it. I&#39;ll look through you. Most men do, honestly. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:26 So, David, did you know that we are profoundly uncool? David: 1:32 I&#39;m I&#39;m painfully aware of this. Gavin: 1:35 I just the other day I was posting something, one of our um social media videos that got at least two or three likes, one of which was probably mine. And my daughter walks behind me and she&#39;s reminded and she goes, Oh my god, dad, stop following me on Instagram. That would be the most embarrassed thing ever if anyone at school ever find out about your stupid podcast. And I&#39;m like, first of all, can you go back, slow down, and repeat what you just said? And I but then, but then in my true insecure immediate reaction of, oh my god, how did I fuck up this time? My thought was, wait, why is our podcast following my daughter? Why on earth? Why on earth would I have done such a thing? Because I&#39;m sure that it was me who did it. Why would we be following her? David: 2:21 You don&#39;t know where you&#39;re logged in, on who. You&#39;re like, I sent you a telegram message on Instagram reels to the mail, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about. Gavin: 2:29 And why didn&#39;t you make a TikTok video response to it and tweet it to me? I I so there were so many things to unpack there, not the least of which was, excuse me, it&#39;s cool that you&#39;re dead. David: 2:44 Never mind. We have 10 of listener of this podcast. There is so many persons that loves this show. Gavin: 2:50 So that is Well, she then clearly she were operates like I do, and she had thought about this 75 times, apparently, over the last who knows how long. And then this prompted her to remind me, to remind herself, to block us and disfollow us, or whatever the phrase may be. So we have been we have been forced to unfollow my daughter, which by the way, I am perfectly fine with because we should not be following children on this account by any stretch of the imagination. And that&#39;s nothing more than just maintaining our own, frankly, coolness. Like we do not need to be following people. David: 3:30 Unless we&#39;re the president and she&#39;s 15. Then it&#39;s okay. Or if we&#39;re Megan Kelly and we think she&#39;s 15. Um, yes, no, that that is true. Also, like putting putting myself in her shoes, yeah, t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David are terminally uncool, David takes gay Dad advice from Jinkx Monsoon, there is good news with lesbians, we rank the top 3 Thanksgiving sides, and this week we are joined by musician and Inside Out dad Joey Chancey who talks to us about the process of becoming a Dad, what the highlight of his career was, and how he found himself gay in the Vatican. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast This episode of Gaytriarchs is brought to you by heygaddies.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey David, you know who this episode of Gatriarchs is brought to you by? Who? Gaddies. Gaddies is the gay dad brand. Started by a gay dad and a total dilf, by the way. Gaddies is here to celebrate gay dads with pride and style. Gavin: 0:14 We love their hats, tees, and hoodies for the entire family. David won&#39;t take off his yesgaddy hat. David: 0:20 And Gavin is obsessed with his caught in a da]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with two white men at a microphone</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-two-white-men-at-a-microphone/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Nov 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is left alone with the kids, and David is left alone with the kids, Gavin forces his daughter to make cornbread, we read a listener messsage, we revisit Gavin&apos;s favorite bit &#34;What Would You Do?,&#34; we have some *slightly* good gay news, we talk about the sandwich guy, and we rank the top 3 aquired tastes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what else? David: 0:03 Oh no. I&#39;m trying. Oh no. You&#39;re usually the one who does this, honestly. I had one ready, but you you jump to the head of a line and let me look what look what happens. And this is gate three arc. So, David, my husband left town for the past four days and he grabbed one of our kids, but he took the good one. And so I was left alone with my daughter for four days. Gavin: 0:42 Now my god, Hannah Hannah in 2029, listening back to vintage radio shows, a podcast, kid jokes. I&#39;m so sorry about this, but we love you. We love you. You&#39;re actually the favorite, Hannah. David: 0:56 Yeah, and honestly, this story is net positive. But I was just, I wasn&#39;t dreading it, but I was just like, we I never get one-on-one time with her, right? It&#39;s it&#39;s like maybe I put her to bed or we go for like one errand, but like days on end, weekends where it&#39;s just us. And I am sad to report on particularly because we&#39;re on this podcast, it went great. Oh it was so fun. Oh, god, I know it&#39;s really good. But I think I know why. I think the easiest parenting is not having one kid, it&#39;s having one kid and then having two kids and then getting to have kids again. I completely what two kids looks like. When you and I were parents for the first time with one kid, we were like, this is the hardest thing I&#39;ve ever done, right? Oh, yeah, totally. You couldn&#39;t have convinced us that no, actually, you have plenty of time and this is this is actually easier until I&#39;ve had two and now I&#39;ve gotten back to one. So I realized I was like, oh, if she&#39;s sleeping or otherwise occupied, there&#39;s nothing else that I need to be worrying about. So it was super fun, actually, except for we went to a play place. Oh no. And this was the this was the last day we were together. And I think this is the reason why. We had had this really great one-on-one time for four days, and we went to this big play place where she can run around and do slides and games and she can do anything she wants. She demanded I spend every second with her, playing with her, and playing with her in that like I want to see your eyes looking at me, looking at the thing. I don&#39;t want you to play with me and be looking away. I want you to play with me and actively be connected. And if I if I think for a second, you are not interested in what I&#39;m doing. Yeah, I&#39;m gonna say daddy, daddy. And so that was really hard. That was one of those moments. Gavin: 2:49 What was the play you had to engage in? Was it make believe that you have an ice cream stand or you&#39;re the dog being walked by its owner, or what? It was babies. David: 3:00 There is a in this particular place, there&#39;s like a separate area for just like baby dolls, baby carriages. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s for kids who like to play with babies. And I had to be there and I had to wrap the baby, but I had to be looking at the baby and then looking at her at the right time. Like, she she was not allowed. You know, sometimes you can like half-ass raise your kids. It&#39;s what you do most of the time. Most of the time. Gavin: 3:18 Well, please, uh all of us, and everybody listening to this, except for listener who hasn&#39;t had his baby yet, obviously. David: 3:23 But yes. Um, but so anyway, the net positive was the weekend was actually really great. And I think having these, like when you have two kids, getting to have one-on-one time with one, each of the kids, even if it&#39;s just like for going out for ice cream, I think is it&#39;s a really interesting experiment. And what I relearned, and you and and we all know this, is that one of the best feelings in the world, I used to think, was when you&#39;d put your kid in the car and you&#39;d strap them in and you&#39;d close the door and you&#39;d have that walk around the car on fucking vacation. Yeah, you couldn&#39;t hear them, you weren&#39;t touching them, they weren&#39;t moving. Like it would, I remember that, but I&#39;ve realized my new favorite feeling is when you drop them off at daycare, and then you come back to the parking lot and you get in your car and you sit down and you look at your phone. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m free. I&#39;m not going to get away. And I know where I noticed that today in the daycare parking lot where these parents just sitting in their cars by themselves looking at their phone because they were like, Oh my god, I&#39;m free. So, anyway, that was my weekend. Gavin: 4:24 I do think there is a debate to be had about whether or not you should be on your hands and knees playing baby with your daughter. Now, from time to time, yes. And how much, you know, do you do it on a daily basis, would you say? David: 4:38 I would say my kids are more neat, require us more than maybe most kids. So, yes, they&#39;re they&#39;re not very good about just playing by themselves and being happier, the six-year-old is, but like, yeah, I would say most of the time, I&#39;m, yeah, I&#39;m the problem, is what you&#39;re saying. I guess it&#39;s a good idea. Gavin: 4:53 Yes, of course. It is your fault. Yes, of course. Well, reminding you that my favorite parenting book, Bringing Up Bebe, which I should actually reach out to Pamela Druckerman, do you think a New York Times best-selling author would respond to us? Do you think? David: 5:06 God, I hope not. Gavin: 5:07 I love this book so much. And she talks about how um the French are very the the the attributes of French parenting, which is basically like how to shove a child in a closet, insist that it remain silent and eat everything and never throw a temper tantrum for its entire life until it becomes 22 years old, and then they actually acknowledge its existence and give it autonomy. But she they&#39;re very quick to say, you should not be on your hands and knees playing baby. But once in a while you should, and those are good memories made. So I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s I think you&#39;re a bit of a francophile. Of course I am. David: 5:44 I really think you are. Gavin: 5:46 And actually, it&#39;s Francophile. Thank you very much. But wow, that&#39;s a bit of Francophile would say. I want to be an Italianophile because the Italians is just so chill, and they just like drink wine and have sex and don&#39;t care about things, right? Giant dicks. So speaking of not that at all, um, actually terrible segue, but I need to talk about it. David: 6:10 See it on the outline, and I&#39;m like, this is good God&#39;s deep, bro. Gavin: 6:14 I just need to talk about myself for a minute, okay? Because I have tremendous needs for the next three weeks. I have done a really good job of, I don&#39;t think you even knew that this was happening. That uh my partner is away um being artistic and being musical for an entire month. And I haven&#39;t done a month alone in a very long time. And I certainly haven&#39;t done a month alone when my children just need to be driven everywhere all the time, uh, which is basically what parenting is, as we know. But now it&#39;s just like, I don&#39;t know, everything is just a lot of Ubering, you know? I&#39;m just an Uber. So anyway, he&#39;s away for a month, um, but he&#39;s being musical and and lots and lots of people have been like, oh man, how are you doing it? How you doing it? And as we&#39;ve discussed many times, nobody would want to do this solo. Kudos to every single uh solo parent out there who is absolutely a superhero. But I&#39;m like already in my groove, you know, three days in. I&#39;m like, there have been fewer fights, the house is cleaner, no offense, Todd. And um, and it&#39;s because everybody&#39;s just marching to my rhythm. And I mean, the whole world would be better off if it just marched to my rhythm, right? It is amazing. David: 7:16 Like, but but but but so put parenting one-on-one, it&#39;s I I even I said this to my husband. He doesn&#39;t take offense to it, but I&#39;m like, it is easier without you here because what I say goes, and it&#39;s the same, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s the same thing with you. Gavin: 7:26 Yeah, or also somebody else actually said to me last night, um, it&#39;s also that underlying resentment that you feel towards your partner when things don&#39;t go the way you want them to. So if you&#39;re if you don&#39;t actually have underlying resentment in the parenting unit, that helps a lot too, which is out terrible, but it&#39;s life. It&#39;s life, it&#39;s life, right? It&#39;s life. So anyway, um, but he did send me a video uh from um Switzerland, and it was a video recently about a guy who had some serious, like I wouldn&#39;t exactly say MAGA vibes, but it was like bro vibes of like, this is what you gotta do to tell your kids. But it was interesting because it said, you have got to direct your kids in their interests because they can&#39;t figure it out for themselves anymore, and you have to direct them a little bit. And we are um, I&#39;m in once again, we are once again in high negotiation factor with uh my daughter in particular, who would rather just sit home, period, and that we are coming to winter activities time, which means sports and spring musicals and things like that. And I am in some high-level negotiations once again, because um because I think that there should be more going on. And so I take great refuge. The whole point of this is that some bro on Instagram told me that I should pick my kids&#39; activities. It&#39;s weird that sh that they don&#39;t want to comply with that. But um, I don&#39;t know. How much choosing do you think you should have to do? David: 8:53 Well, this is it&#39;s funny you bring this up. Um I went to pick up my kids at school and or my kid at school, and he&#39;s in elementary school that goes to fifth grade. And clearly in the older grades, fourth or fifth grade, they have some sort of band program or something. Because I saw a kid walking out with what looked to be a Pluto or a clarinet. And I thought, and I said out loud to my husband, I was like, Oh, remind me, I the second they&#39;re allowed to do band or anything, I definitely want to sign them up or whatever. And he turned towards me and goes, So you want to do what Gavin does as for he literally said that, and I was like, Oh yeah, because he&#39;s our listener. And he and I was like, Oh, oh yeah, that&#39;s right. I&#39;m following Gaben&#39;s footsteps. Gavin: 9:34 So listen, everybody&#39;s education is better when it&#39;s well rounded and when they listen to you word for word and don&#39;t question your authority. If they would just march to the tune of my band. David: 9:49 You&#39;re slightly off-tune, tune. Yes, I know, I get it. Gavin: 9:53 Oh shit. Well, anyway, I&#39;m an asshole. Um, obviously. But let me tell you how my kid was awesome uh last night, and also how I won the battle. Um, so last night for dinner, I tried a new recipe, a turkey chili. And I generally think, I don&#39;t know, do you like ground chili? I think, or excuse me, ground turkey. Uh it depends. Yeah. Yeah. David: 10:14 It&#39;s it&#39;s a it&#39;s like sometimes, like sometimes I&#39;ll do like tacos and half turkey meat, half ground beef, and it&#39;s just it&#39;s just enough to like lighten everything, but like all turkey ground is like it&#39;s a little fluffy for me. Gavin: 10:24 You you eat it and you go, hmm, this tastes display. Healthy. Yeah. Totally. Which is the same thing. Anyway, I it was a pretty good recipe. Um, we maybe we&#39;ll start a new segment on here of recipe exchanges with listener, because it would be great to hear what listener has to say, especially um cooking hacks, right? So anyway, my daughter comes in and she says, Well, I&#39;m not eating that. I&#39;ll make my own dinner. And I&#39;m like, uh well, you&#39;re not just gonna make ramen. Um, I don&#39;t like chili. Well, you&#39;re making cornbread, aren&#39;t you? And I&#39;m with such fabulous 14-year-old entitlement. I said, I don&#39;t have time to make cornbread because I&#39;m still working, actually. I&#39;m throwing together chili at 3:30 in the afternoon so that it will be ready by 4:45 when we have to eat, because then I have to take your brother to soccer. But you can make cornbread. I mean, you&#39;re perfectly capable of making it. I don&#39;t want to. Okay, well, fine, I&#39;m not going to. I actually shut up. Not possible. And she relented. And she said, Okay, fine, I&#39;ll make it. So she starts to make the cornbread. She we find we discover that we don&#39;t have any baking powder in the house. I need to, I&#39;m literally adding it to my list right now to remind myself to put it on the list. This is the kind of engaging content our listener demands. David: 11:39 And you add to your grocery list. Gavin: 11:41 And so we we discovered we didn&#39;t have baking powder, it was part of the ingredients, and she was freaking out at me. You always say baking is science, and you can&#39;t skip any ingredients or eyeball anything. And I&#39;m like, it&#39;s a fucking cornbread. It doesn&#39;t fucking matter. We&#39;re not giving this to anybody else. I don&#39;t even know what baking powder is gonna do because I&#39;m not a baker, really. But anyway, my point is a leavener. David: 12:08 It makes it fluffy. That&#39;s what it does. Gavin: 12:10 A leaven. This was a very okay, ultimately. It was hilarious to me that she really does listen to me, but man, does she love to take rules literally? And if she has a chance to undermine me or um prove me wrong, boy, will she take it. But she made it without the um baking powder, and it was it tasted healthy. David: 12:33 I mean, it&#39;s all basically the same thing. I was just as you were saying that, the way like the your reenactment of her, I was just thinking, it&#39;s like my daughter is talking about a cat or like a kitten, and I&#39;ll be like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah, that cat. She&#39;s like, actually, it&#39;s a kitten. Oh, yeah. It&#39;s like actually, you&#39;re not eating tonight. You lose, you lose everything tonight. Um, so yeah, it&#39;s just it just an older exactly. I have never connected anything more than the fucking beast in that moment. Um, speaking of connecting with people, listener, I we are getting so many great, so much great feedback from you guys. I think we should do like a weekly listener mailbag. Oh, that&#39;s a good idea. Um, but that would require us being prepared and going through the DMs at the right time. Gavin: 13:13 But anyway, and also having and listener having that much to say to us on a weekly basis. David: 13:17 Correct. Um, but we got a really sweet message that I always like to pass by this, uh pass along the sweet ones because it&#39;s just nice to kind of know that there are other people out there. We&#39;re just not talking into the void like we assume we are all the time. Um, we got a very sweet message from um, I&#39;ll just say his first name, Tom. He said, Hey guys, suburbs of North uh Charlotte, North Carolina, husband and I together for almost 21 years. They have one son who will be three and a half, or sorry, three in two days, and one daughter who will be one year old soon. Same maternal DNA, gestational character, small business owner, proud daddo, which I love. He said, My son originated the word to be different than his dad-da. That&#39;s very cute. Been listening long enough to recommend to my husband and that son of a bitch, he actually fucking did. Ironic, we both each individually listen on our way to the therapist on Wednesday mornings while my mother-in-law gets the kids up as your new episodes drop. Love feeling like we can relate to others as it can sometimes be isolating. Thanks for giving us a voice....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is left alone with the kids, and David is left alone with the kids, Gavin forces his daughter to make cornbread, we read a listener messsage, we revisit Gavin&apos;s favorite bit &#34;What Would You Do?,&#34; we have some *slightly* good]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is left alone with the kids, and David is left alone with the kids, Gavin forces his daughter to make cornbread, we read a listener messsage, we revisit Gavin&apos;s favorite bit &#34;What Would You Do?,&#34; we have some *slightly* good gay news, we talk about the sandwich guy, and we rank the top 3 aquired tastes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what else? David: 0:03 Oh no. I&#39;m trying. Oh no. You&#39;re usually the one who does this, honestly. I had one ready, but you you jump to the head of a line and let me look what look what happens. And this is gate three arc. So, David, my husband left town for the past four days and he grabbed one of our kids, but he took the good one. And so I was left alone with my daughter for four days. Gavin: 0:42 Now my god, Hannah Hannah in 2029, listening back to vintage radio shows, a podcast, kid jokes. I&#39;m so sorry about this, but we love you. We love you. You&#39;re actually the favorite, Hannah. David: 0:56 Yeah, and honestly, this story is net positive. But I was just, I wasn&#39;t dreading it, but I was just like, we I never get one-on-one time with her, right? It&#39;s it&#39;s like maybe I put her to bed or we go for like one errand, but like days on end, weekends where it&#39;s just us. And I am sad to report on particularly because we&#39;re on this podcast, it went great. Oh it was so fun. Oh, god, I know it&#39;s really good. But I think I know why. I think the easiest parenting is not having one kid, it&#39;s having one kid and then having two kids and then getting to have kids again. I completely what two kids looks like. When you and I were parents for the first time with one kid, we were like, this is the hardest thing I&#39;ve ever done, right? Oh, yeah, totally. You couldn&#39;t have convinced us that no, actually, you have plenty of time and this is this is actually easier until I&#39;ve had two and now I&#39;ve gotten back to one. So I realized I was like, oh, if she&#39;s sleeping or otherwise occupied, there&#39;s nothing else that I need to be worrying about. So it was super fun, actually, except for we went to a play place. Oh no. And this was the this was the last day we were together. And I think this is the reason why. We had had this really great one-on-one time for four days, and we went to this big play place where she can run around and do slides and games and she can do anything she wants. She demanded I spend every second with her, playing with her, and playing with her in that like I want to see your eyes looking at me, looking at the thing. I don&#39;t want you to play with me and be looking away. I want you to play with me and actively be connected. And if I if I think for a second, you are not interested in what I&#39;m doing. Yeah, I&#39;m gonna say daddy, daddy. And so that was really hard. That was one of those moments. Gavin: 2:49 What was the play you had to engage in? Was it make believe that you have an ice cream stand or you&#39;re the dog being walked by its owner, or what? It was babies. David: 3:00 There is a in this particular place, there&#39;s like a separate area for just like baby dolls, baby carriages. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s for kids who like to play with babies. And I had to be there and I had to wrap the baby, but I had to be looking at the baby and then looking at her at the right time. Like, she she was not allowed. You know, sometimes you can like half-ass raise your kids. It&#39;s what you do most of the time. Most of the time. Gavin: 3:18 Well, please, uh all of us, and everybody listening to this, except for listener who hasn&#39;t had his baby yet, obviously. David: 3:23 But yes. Um, but so anyway, the net positive was the weekend was actually really great. And I think having these, like when you have two kids, getting to have one-on-one time with one, each of the kids, even if it&#39;s just like for going out for ice cream, I think is it&#39;s a really interesting experiment. And what I relearned, and you and and we all know this, is that one of the best feelings in the world, I used to think, was when you&#39;d put your kid in the car and you&#39;d strap them in and you&#39;d close the door and you&#39;d have that walk around the car on fucking vacation. Yeah, you couldn&#39;t hear them, you weren&#39;t touching them, they weren&#39;t moving. Like it would, I remember that, but I&#39;ve realized my new favorite feeling is when you drop them off at daycare, and then you come back to the parking lot and you get in your car and you sit down and you look at your phone. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m free. I&#39;m not going to get away. And I know where I noticed that today in the daycare parking lot where these parents just sitting in their cars by themselves looking at their phone because they were like, Oh my god, I&#39;m free. So, anyway, that was my weekend. Gavin: 4:24 I do think there is a debate to be had about whether or not you should be on your hands and knees playing baby with your daughter. Now, from time to time, yes. And how much, you know, do you do it on a daily basis, would you say? David: 4:38 I would say my kids are more neat, require us more than maybe most kids. So, yes, they&#39;re they&#39;re not very good about just playing by themselves and being happier, the six-year-old is, but like, yeah, I would say most of the time, I&#39;m, yeah, I&#39;m the problem, is what you&#39;re saying. I guess it&#39;s a good idea. Gavin: 4:53 Yes, of course. It is your fault. Yes, of course. Well, reminding you that my favorite parenting book, Bringing Up Bebe, which I should actually reach out to Pamela Druckerman, do you think a New York Times best-selling author would respond to us? Do you think? David: 5:06 God, I hope not. Gavin: 5:07 I love this book so much. And she talks about how um the French are very the the the attributes of French parenting, which is basically like how to shove a child in a closet, insist that it remain silent and eat everything and never throw a temper tantrum for its entire life until it becomes 22 years old, and then they actually acknowledge its existence and give it autonomy. But she they&#39;re very quick to say, you should not be on your hands and knees playing baby. But once in a while you should, and those are good memories made. So I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s I think you&#39;re a bit of a francophile. Of course I am. David: 5:44 I really think you are. Gavin: 5:46 And actually, it&#39;s Francophile. Thank you very much. But wow, that&#39;s a bit of Francophile would say. I want to be an Italianophile because the Italians is just so chill, and they just like drink wine and have sex and don&#39;t care about things, right? Giant dicks. So speaking of not that at all, um, actually terrible segue, but I need to talk about it. David: 6:10 See it on the outline, and I&#39;m like, this is good God&#39;s deep, bro. Gavin: 6:14 I just need to talk about myself for a minute, okay? Because I have tremendous needs for the next three weeks. I have done a really good job of, I don&#39;t think you even knew that this was happening. That uh my partner is away um being artistic and being musical for an entire month. And I haven&#39;t done a month alone in a very long time. And I certainly haven&#39;t done a month alone when my children just need to be driven everywhere all the time, uh, which is basically what parenting is, as we know. But now it&#39;s just like, I don&#39;t know, everything is just a lot of Ubering, you know? I&#39;m just an Uber. So anyway, he&#39;s away for a month, um, but he&#39;s being musical and and lots and lots of people have been like, oh man, how are you doing it? How you doing it? And as we&#39;ve discussed many times, nobody would want to do this solo. Kudos to every single uh solo parent out there who is absolutely a superhero. But I&#39;m like already in my groove, you know, three days in. I&#39;m like, there have been fewer fights, the house is cleaner, no offense, Todd. And um, and it&#39;s because everybody&#39;s just marching to my rhythm. And I mean, the whole world would be better off if it just marched to my rhythm, right? It is amazing. David: 7:16 Like, but but but but so put parenting one-on-one, it&#39;s I I even I said this to my husband. He doesn&#39;t take offense to it, but I&#39;m like, it is easier without you here because what I say goes, and it&#39;s the same, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s the same thing with you. Gavin: 7:26 Yeah, or also somebody else actually said to me last night, um, it&#39;s also that underlying resentment that you feel towards your partner when things don&#39;t go the way you want them to. So if you&#39;re if you don&#39;t actually have underlying resentment in the parenting unit, that helps a lot too, which is out terrible, but it&#39;s life. It&#39;s life, it&#39;s life, right? It&#39;s life. So anyway, um, but he did send me a video uh from um Switzerland, and it was a video recently about a guy who had some serious, like I wouldn&#39;t exactly say MAGA vibes, but it was like bro vibes of like, this is what you gotta do to tell your kids. But it was interesting because it said, you have got to direct your kids in their interests because they can&#39;t figure it out for themselves anymore, and you have to direct them a little bit. And we are um, I&#39;m in once again, we are once again in high negotiation factor with uh my daughter in particular, who would rather just sit home, period, and that we are coming to winter activities time, which means sports and spring musicals and things like that. And I am in some high-level negotiations once again, because um because I think that there should be more going on. And so I take great refuge. The whole point of this is that some bro on Instagram told me that I should pick my kids&#39; activities. It&#39;s weird that sh that they don&#39;t want to comply with that. But um, I don&#39;t know. How much choosing do you think you should have to do? David: 8:53 Well, this is it&#39;s funny you bring this up. Um I went to pick up my kids at school and or my kid at school, and he&#39;s in elementary school that goes to fifth grade. And clearly in the older grades, fourth or fifth grade, they have some sort of band program or something. Because I saw a kid walking out with what looked to be a Pluto or a clarinet. And I thought, and I said out loud to my husband, I was like, Oh, remind me, I the second they&#39;re allowed to do band or anything, I definitely want to sign them up or whatever. And he turned towards me and goes, So you want to do what Gavin does as for he literally said that, and I was like, Oh yeah, because he&#39;s our listener. And he and I was like, Oh, oh yeah, that&#39;s right. I&#39;m following Gaben&#39;s footsteps. Gavin: 9:34 So listen, everybody&#39;s education is better when it&#39;s well rounded and when they listen to you word for word and don&#39;t question your authority. If they would just march to the tune of my band. David: 9:49 You&#39;re slightly off-tune, tune. Yes, I know, I get it. Gavin: 9:53 Oh shit. Well, anyway, I&#39;m an asshole. Um, obviously. But let me tell you how my kid was awesome uh last night, and also how I won the battle. Um, so last night for dinner, I tried a new recipe, a turkey chili. And I generally think, I don&#39;t know, do you like ground chili? I think, or excuse me, ground turkey. Uh it depends. Yeah. Yeah. David: 10:14 It&#39;s it&#39;s a it&#39;s like sometimes, like sometimes I&#39;ll do like tacos and half turkey meat, half ground beef, and it&#39;s just it&#39;s just enough to like lighten everything, but like all turkey ground is like it&#39;s a little fluffy for me. Gavin: 10:24 You you eat it and you go, hmm, this tastes display. Healthy. Yeah. Totally. Which is the same thing. Anyway, I it was a pretty good recipe. Um, we maybe we&#39;ll start a new segment on here of recipe exchanges with listener, because it would be great to hear what listener has to say, especially um cooking hacks, right? So anyway, my daughter comes in and she says, Well, I&#39;m not eating that. I&#39;ll make my own dinner. And I&#39;m like, uh well, you&#39;re not just gonna make ramen. Um, I don&#39;t like chili. Well, you&#39;re making cornbread, aren&#39;t you? And I&#39;m with such fabulous 14-year-old entitlement. I said, I don&#39;t have time to make cornbread because I&#39;m still working, actually. I&#39;m throwing together chili at 3:30 in the afternoon so that it will be ready by 4:45 when we have to eat, because then I have to take your brother to soccer. But you can make cornbread. I mean, you&#39;re perfectly capable of making it. I don&#39;t want to. Okay, well, fine, I&#39;m not going to. I actually shut up. Not possible. And she relented. And she said, Okay, fine, I&#39;ll make it. So she starts to make the cornbread. She we find we discover that we don&#39;t have any baking powder in the house. I need to, I&#39;m literally adding it to my list right now to remind myself to put it on the list. This is the kind of engaging content our listener demands. David: 11:39 And you add to your grocery list. Gavin: 11:41 And so we we discovered we didn&#39;t have baking powder, it was part of the ingredients, and she was freaking out at me. You always say baking is science, and you can&#39;t skip any ingredients or eyeball anything. And I&#39;m like, it&#39;s a fucking cornbread. It doesn&#39;t fucking matter. We&#39;re not giving this to anybody else. I don&#39;t even know what baking powder is gonna do because I&#39;m not a baker, really. But anyway, my point is a leavener. David: 12:08 It makes it fluffy. That&#39;s what it does. Gavin: 12:10 A leaven. This was a very okay, ultimately. It was hilarious to me that she really does listen to me, but man, does she love to take rules literally? And if she has a chance to undermine me or um prove me wrong, boy, will she take it. But she made it without the um baking powder, and it was it tasted healthy. David: 12:33 I mean, it&#39;s all basically the same thing. I was just as you were saying that, the way like the your reenactment of her, I was just thinking, it&#39;s like my daughter is talking about a cat or like a kitten, and I&#39;ll be like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah, that cat. She&#39;s like, actually, it&#39;s a kitten. Oh, yeah. It&#39;s like actually, you&#39;re not eating tonight. You lose, you lose everything tonight. Um, so yeah, it&#39;s just it just an older exactly. I have never connected anything more than the fucking beast in that moment. Um, speaking of connecting with people, listener, I we are getting so many great, so much great feedback from you guys. I think we should do like a weekly listener mailbag. Oh, that&#39;s a good idea. Um, but that would require us being prepared and going through the DMs at the right time. Gavin: 13:13 But anyway, and also having and listener having that much to say to us on a weekly basis. David: 13:17 Correct. Um, but we got a really sweet message that I always like to pass by this, uh pass along the sweet ones because it&#39;s just nice to kind of know that there are other people out there. We&#39;re just not talking into the void like we assume we are all the time. Um, we got a very sweet message from um, I&#39;ll just say his first name, Tom. He said, Hey guys, suburbs of North uh Charlotte, North Carolina, husband and I together for almost 21 years. They have one son who will be three and a half, or sorry, three in two days, and one daughter who will be one year old soon. Same maternal DNA, gestational character, small business owner, proud daddo, which I love. He said, My son originated the word to be different than his dad-da. That&#39;s very cute. Been listening long enough to recommend to my husband and that son of a bitch, he actually fucking did. Ironic, we both each individually listen on our way to the therapist on Wednesday mornings while my mother-in-law gets the kids up as your new episodes drop. Love feeling like we can relate to others as it can sometimes be isolating. Thanks for giving us a voice....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is left alone with the kids, and David is left alone with the kids, Gavin forces his daughter to make cornbread, we read a listener messsage, we revisit Gavin&apos;s favorite bit &#34;What Would You Do?,&#34; we have some *slightly* good gay news, we talk about the sandwich guy, and we rank the top 3 aquired tastes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what else? David: 0:03 Oh no. I&#39;m trying. Oh no. You&#39;re usually the one who does this, honestly. I had one ready, but you you jump to the head of a line and let me look what look what happens. And this is gate three arc. So, David, my husband left town for the past four days and he grabbed one of our kids, but he took the good one. And so I was left alone with my daughter for four days. Gavin: 0:42 Now my god, Hannah Hannah in 2029, listening back to vintage radio shows, a podcast, kid jokes. I&#39;m so sorry about this, but we love you. We love you. You&#39;re actually the favorite, Hannah. David: 0:56 Yeah, and honestly, this story is net positive. But I was just, I wasn&#39;t dreading it, but I was just like, we I never get one-on-one time with her, right? It&#39;s it&#39;s like maybe I put her to bed or we go for like one errand, but like days on end, weekends where it&#39;s just us. And I am sad to report on particularly because we&#39;re on this podcast, it went great. Oh it was so fun. Oh, god, I know it&#39;s really good. But I think I know why. I think the easiest parenting is not having one kid, it&#39;s having one kid and then having two kids and then getting to have kids again. I completely what two kids looks like. When you and I were parents for the first time with one kid, we were like, this is the hardest thing I&#39;ve ever done, right? Oh, yeah, totally. You couldn&#39;t have convinced us that no, actually, you have plenty of time and this is this is actually easier until I&#39;ve had two and now I&#39;ve gotten back to one. So I realized I was like, oh, if she&#39;s sleeping or otherwise occupied, there&#39;s nothing else that I need to be worrying about. So it was super fun, actually, except for we went to a play place. Oh no. And this was the this was the last day we were together. And I think this is the reason why. We had had this really great one-on-one time for four days, and we went to this big play place where she can run around and do slides and games and she can do anything she wants. She demanded I spend every second with her, playing with her, and playing with her in that like I want to see your eyes looking at me, looking at the thing. I don&#39;t want you to play with me and be looking away. I want you to play with me and actively be connected. And if I if I think for a second, you are not interested in what I&#39;m doing. Yeah, I&#39;m gonna say daddy, daddy. And so that was really hard. That was one of those moments. Gavin: 2:49 What was the play you had to engage in? Was it make believe that you have an ice cream stand or you&#39;re the dog being walked by its owner, or what? It was babies. David: 3:00 There is a in this particular place, there&#39;s like a separate area for just like baby dolls, baby carriages. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s for kids who like to play with babies. And I had to be there and I had to wrap the baby, but I had to be looking at the baby and then looking at her at the right time. Like, she she was not allowed. You know, sometimes you can like half-ass raise your kids. It&#39;s what you do most of the time. Most of the time. Gavin: 3:18 Well, please, uh all of us, and everybody listening to this, except for listener who hasn&#39;t had his baby yet, obviously. David: 3:23 But yes. Um, but so anyway, the net positive was the weekend was actually really great. And I think having these, like when you have two kids, getting to have one-on-one time with one, each of the kids, ev]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is left alone with the kids, and David is left alone with the kids, Gavin forces his daughter to make cornbread, we read a listener messsage, we revisit Gavin&apos;s favorite bit &#34;What Would You Do?,&#34; we have some *slightly* good gay news, we talk about the sandwich guy, and we rank the top 3 aquired tastes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what else? David: 0:03 Oh no. I&#39;m trying. Oh no. You&#39;re usually the one who does this, honestly. I had one ready, but you you jump to the head of a line and let me look what look what happens. And this is gate three arc. So, David, my husband left town for the past four days and he grabbed one of our kids, but he took the good one. And so I was left alone with my daughter for four days. Gavin: 0:42 Now my god, Hannah Hannah in 2029, listening back to vintage radio shows, a podcast, kid]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with god warrior Marguerite Perrin</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-god-warrior-marguerite-perrin/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Nov 2025 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David braves Disney on ice, Gavin learns about football, our listener is preggo, Gavin has GOOD NEWS, we rank the top 3 people we wouldn&apos;t answer a call from, and this week our guest is god warrior and gay icon Marguerite Perrin, who talks to us about dark-sided stuff, how the gay community supported her during a tragic time in her life, and what the future looks like at the Louisiana county fair. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript unknown: 0:00 Oh no. David: 0:03 This is episode 129, Gaben. Do you not understand what I&#39;m literally setting up to do? Do you not understand how storytelling? Gavin: 0:13 Sorry. David: 0:16 Starting over. Gavin: 0:16 That&#39;s fine. That&#39;s fine. All right. And this is Gatrio. Oh my God. David: 0:35 So I want to tell you a story, Gavin. Are you ready? I&#39;m just sitting here with my mouth shut and my ears open. Except for right then. So my family and I, along with some friends, went to Disney on Ice. Yes. Gavin: 0:52 So jealous. So jealous. I&#39;ve never been. Is it as good as it was in the 80s that when I didn&#39;t get to see it? David: 0:58 I feel like I went when I was a kid and I don&#39;t think it was called the Ice Capades or Campbell Soup Tour or something. But I don&#39;t really know. Gavin: 1:04 What did you say? The Campbell Soup? David: 1:05 Yeah, it was called the Campbell Soup Tour. And they would take like whoever got second and third place at the Olympics that year. Right. And they would go on tour and make, you know,$100 a week. But um no, so we we bought tickets because we saw it was coming to town, and it was like, you know, kids, our kids should have that experience. And so the tickets were like medium. You could buy really expensive close-up VIP tickets, but also you could buy like$50 kind of faraway tickets. And so that&#39;s what we decided to do. unknown: 1:34 Right. David: 1:34 Well, Gavin, I knew I would have to battle the souvenir mafia. Oh, I knew, I knew I would, right? I knew that was coming. So I was prepared. What I wasn&#39;t prepared for was the absolute audacity of the Disney Aw nice people and what they&#39;re charging. I want to let you, I wanna, I&#39;m gonna interview you, Gavin. Gavin, okay. Uh, you want to buy a snow cone. Now, a snow cone comes in a plastic cup and you can choose Olaf or whatever. Gavin: 2:03 And um souvenir cup that you get to take home. David: 2:05 Uh-huh. Correct. How much is the snow cone?$12.$24. Gavin, do you want a spoon for your snow cone? That&#39;s extra. That&#39;s six dollars extra for a spoon. Gavin: 2:21 Is it a light up spoon or does it change colors with the temperature? David: 2:24 So there&#39;s$30 for your snow cone. Um, Gavin, how much is a soda? Um seven dollars.$45. Wait, what? Gavin,$45. And my favorite. You know the little plastic bubble ones that you like click the button, it&#39;s like LED or whatever? Gavin: 2:45 Yeah. David: 2:46 $50. No, no. Gavin, when I saw those prices, I almost lit the building on fire because I knew. Listen, we we&#39;ve all gone to theater and like we&#39;re all being upcharged. We get it. The audacity of either the Prudential Center in Newark or Disney on Ice, probably both. I yeah, I honestly couldn&#39;t believe it. And of course, now I have to argue with my children because they want the light up things, they want the Olaf customers. Of course they do things, and I&#39;m cheap as fuck. And I&#39;m like, no, you cannot. I&#39;ll buy a hundred of them on TMU for$2. You just have to wait eight weeks. unknown: 3:22 Yeah. David: 3:22 Right. So, anyway, this this is this is the majority of my story. Is like, I I I can&#39;t believe it. Gavin: 3:28 It is being a parent in this era is so infuriating for exactly the reason that you just said, because so much of the joy is sapped from both the parents and the children. Because the children, of course, are seduced by all of this consumerism, and the parents want to give them a wonderful experience, but we are forced to be like, also, who can afford this shit without complaining about it, right? Yeah. Because everybody seems to have the light up bubble wand things with the shape of your head. David: 3:55 There were bubbles everywhere. And also honest. I would pay$50 if all those dancers landed all their jumps. How was it? First of all, skaters, I&#39;m I I&#39;m a pro artist, but you gotta land more than half your jumps, girls and boys. Gavin: 4:15 Not just half. David: 4:16 No, 50% of their jumps fell on their butts. And we&#39;re not talking about like, oh, it&#39;s funny that Goofy fell and he was like, it&#39;s all in character. No, babe. When Elsa falls on a single Sal Cow, I know there&#39;s problems. So if you&#39;re gonna charge me thousands of dollars for bubble wands, Olaf needs to do a sit spin. Do you know what I mean? Gavin: 4:35 Also, you everybody needs to realize that David F. And Vaughn is a bitch and he was a skater. And you would have landed, sister would have landed all of her jumps. David: 4:45 She would have. So anyway, Disney on ice, listen, it was fun. Like they know what they&#39;re doing, right? Like it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s visually very interesting. My kids really loved it. But I did I spent the whole time arguing with my children that they couldn&#39;t buy all the things, and then they were upset as we were leaving. Gavin: 4:59 And it just like, you know, at the risk of trying to actually be um contribute to better parenting and making the world a better place. Wrong dust, bud, wrong. Uh uh exactly. Looking back on it, how could you have done that differently, do you think? Do you I mean, you knew that everything was going to be outrageously expensive. Do you think you could have said to your kids ahead of time, by the way, there&#39;s gonna be a lot of stuff that you want. Can you just do me a favor? Let&#39;s not consume this overpriced shit, and I swear to God, I&#39;ll get you four of them when we get home. David: 5:32 I th I I I love I love the dreaminess of what that is, but I think kids cannot override the fact that there was a flashing light in their face. I will say there were people outside the theater basically selling the same shit, and they were all saying, Hey, it&#39;s way more expensive inside, buy it now. And I was like, Yeah, right, guys. Oh no, they were serious. But um I think the only way, maybe, is going in and saying to your kids, you have a$20 budget. You could buy whatever you want for$20. Gavin: 5:59 Except that wouldn&#39;t have gotten them anyway. David: 6:01 Well, they could have bought a spoon, they could have had three spoons. Gavin: 6:04 Wait, wait, please break down the spoon situation for me. They were chart six dollars for a spoon. A spoon. Now, did you need did well as I recall those slushies, you could kind of like tip them back and have them smash into your face. Sure. Yeah. But everybody wants to have a spoon. Sure. Oh my God. Just the other day, just the other day, I was with my son. We went through Taco Bell, as one does, and I got a uh Powerbowl, something, and they didn&#39;t give me a spoon. And we were driving, and I looked around in the car, and I found an old ticket, like a ticket stub in the car. And I&#39;m like, Well, we are in a hurry, and I&#39;ll tell you why we were in a hurry in just a second. We were in a hurry, and so I just used a piece of cardboard to scoop the Taco Bell into my mouth because I am classy AF. David: 6:56 I will tell you, my friend Amanda travels with a fork in her backpack because she she calls it her her cake fork in case she runs into some cake and they don&#39;t have a fork. So she literally keeps a fork in her backpack. That&#39;s anyway that it now that is a dad hack. That is a dad hack. But anyway, that that&#39;s the end of my Disney on ice rant. I if if you really want to go, it&#39;s really fun. But just be prepared. The the extras are fucking insane. Gavin: 7:21 So I had a very adjacent experience this weekend that was unexpected. Uh, I have neighbors who have season tickets to the Patriots. Now, for those of the listeners out there, for listen. David: 7:37 For listener out there, just you almost expose the fact that we have more than one listener. Gavin: 7:42 For listener out there who doesn&#39;t know who the Patriots are, just kidding, we&#39;re all not idiots. We like to make jokes about how the Patriots are our favorite basketball team, but we know we&#39;re all on the same page. Anyway, I was like, hell yeah, I wanted tickets to an NFL game. That&#39;s awesome. So they gave us the tickets, which was super generous. I took my son and we went to up to um Foxboro. And we were a little late because he had a soccer game. So actually, we missed the crowd ahead of time, and we missed the first quarter of the game. But um getting there, my partner actually said, Don&#39;t uh don&#39;t nickel and dime this experience for him. Pretend it&#39;s Taylor Swift for our daughter. And I&#39;m like, Okay, you&#39;re right. And especially since the friggin&#39; tickets were given to us, I was not gonna um, you know, penny pinch. David: 8:22 Football is Taylor Swift for men. Got it. Gavin: 8:25 Okay. Right, Travis Kelsey, right? So anyway, so we saw the Patriots beat the Atlanta Ravens just barely. In fact, it was a game that just kind of fizzled out because uh the Ravens missed one of their extra points, and it was with only about a minute and a half left, and the Patriots just kind of like sat on the ball, basically. And by sat on the ball, you know what I mean. Anyway, my son, I was prepared to spend$100 in nonsensical food. And instead, to quote my son, when I got the I sprung for not the$7 fries, but the$9 um Parmesan garlic fries, he tasted one and he goes, those were mid. I&#39;m like, actually, yes, everything was mid, including, and I still recall, his$12 cotton candy, his$15 dippin&#39; dots, my$14 cheeseburger, and the$9 fries. Um, and my I don&#39;t even know how much my beer was because I just tapped and went. And um, I don&#39;t know. David: 9:26 It was I&#39;m such cliche dads right now, just complaining about the prices of things. Gavin: 9:31 It was losers or we but it how do people do it? I I look around at all of those fans, which by the way, it was less of a manga crowd than I really thought it was. And also, in contrast to a soccer game I got uh uh went to one time with my son where he was screamed at by other people. Like I&#39;m sure I talked about this uh two summers ago, where he was screamed at by the opposite um crowd because he was wearing the wrong jersey. I gotta say, the football fans were actually really nice. There were there were Atlanta Ravens, I guess, fans around us, and um, everybody was like, oh, that was what a play, blah, blah, blah. But they were all like getting along. Anyway, point being, who can afford this shit? That&#39;s what that&#39;s the whole point of this. The title of the segment is Who Can Afford This Shit? I don&#39;t get it. David: 10:12 Not us. Anyways, we made four cents last week on advertisements. Literally, I don&#39;t even post those emails anymore because I&#39;m like, listener has already seen me post them. Like, yeah, but we still every week it&#39;s like four cents. It&#39;s like we&#39;ll get a thing at our message just saying somebody wants to submit an ad for your show. I&#39;m like, great, accept. And they&#39;ve paid for four downloads or something. It&#39;s crazy. Anyway, moving on. Oh shit. Okay, so no more complaining. Let&#39;s talk about two really great things that are happening with our listener. Okay, let&#39;s do it. First of all, our first listener, um, I won&#39;t say his name because I don&#39;t know if he wants me to share this information, but um, our listener is pregnant, and him and his husband um have been doing circusy, and uh, we&#39;ve been kind of in contact since we&#39;ve started the podcast. And so they are pregnant and they&#39;re very excited, and obviously it&#39;s very early and all the things, but it&#39;s always so fun to kind of relive that part of the experience again with your friends or or whoever. Um, because you know, you find it or your listener, or your listener, because it&#39;s scary, right? Like it&#39;s a scary time, but it&#39;s so exciting and it&#39;s all new and everything. So everyone out there, uh, send good uh vibes to our listener who um is expecting their first. And also, our other listener sent us a dad hack of the week. Gavin: 11:26 Yes, and so Liam listener. Do we want to name him? David: 11:31 Well, you just did. Gavin: 11:33 So go ahead. Liam, who uh who has no problem giving us his thoughts and we absolutely love it. Thank you, listener, and please, all listener out there, um, share your thoughts with us. He said, he wrote us on um uh Instagram and said, Hey, I recently came up with a genius dad hack and thought I should share. You know those little pots you use to put pureed food in for your baby so you could freeze some? The ones with lids? Perfect ice cube maker for your Negroni. And he accompanied it with a picture of his drink in front of the television. And I assume that all children were uh asleep, or who cares what they were doing because listener was enjoying his Negroni. David: 12:11 Well, listener, I have a problem because you said, you know, the things where you&#39;d puree food for your baby of honey. Ah, I bought shit out of plastic tubs off the shelves at the low-end grocery store and whatever was on sale. I did not pure my baby food yes, exactly. Gavin: 12:26 You you were not, you were not a trad wife, um trad hubs, staying home and making your own puree food. I was not. It is it is not difficult to make your own baby food. It&#39;s really, really easy. David: 12:37 It&#39;s really easy. But I will say I do like the point of it, which is like, hey, listen, just because you&#39;re out of that baby phase doesn&#39;t mean you can&#39;t still utilize these things. So thank you, Liam, for sending in your dad hack. Everyone out there, if you&#39;re listening, please send us your dad hacks, your top three list ideas, your DILF ideas, whatever you have. We want to hear from you because it really takes the load off of us. And so we&#39;d like you to do the work so we could just sit back and make our four cents. Gavin: 13:01 Yep, absolutely. Please keep it coming. Yep. So uh moving on, speaking speaking of coming. That&#39;s what I was gonna say. I was speaking of coming, who&#39;s our DILFO coming? Our DIFO- Okay, we are absolutely following all the trends right now, but hey, why not hop on it, right? Just the way we would love to hop on him. Jonathan Bailey, finally People Magazine&#39;s sexiest man of the year and um in the world, or whatever the title is. And he is um the first out gay poster boy for uh People Magazine. So hey, doof of the week. I you know he&#39;s gonna be a dad at some point, and he&#39;s absolutely gonna be one of our um guests, right? Yeah, absolutely. David: 13:41 And and he&#39;s he seems like I part of his hotness to me, like I think he&#39;s traditionally hot, but also I think part of his hotness is he&#39;s got this like cheeky, like gooey, like I&#39;m gonna like play tricks on you kind of thing, which I love. Yeah. Gavin: 13:52 Um, he definitely, I mean, everything uh just he just owns who he is so well, and he&#39;s just he looks so happy all the time. I mean, how fantastic! Somebody that charming and that happy, and just the right amount of hair on his chest, and just all the things. David: 14:08 I mean, well, you know what won&#39;t make you happy? Tell me. Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is my week. Um, it is who are the top three people you would not answer a phone call from? Uh, let&#39;s do it. Um let&#39;s do it. So for me, um, number three um is somebody used to work with eight years ago. Here&#39;s why. Because they are calling you because either they have...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David braves Disney on ice, Gavin learns about football, our listener is preggo, Gavin has GOOD NEWS, we rank the top 3 people we wouldn&apos;t answer a call from, and this week our guest is god warrior and gay icon Marguerite Perrin, who talk]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David braves Disney on ice, Gavin learns about football, our listener is preggo, Gavin has GOOD NEWS, we rank the top 3 people we wouldn&apos;t answer a call from, and this week our guest is god warrior and gay icon Marguerite Perrin, who talks to us about dark-sided stuff, how the gay community supported her during a tragic time in her life, and what the future looks like at the Louisiana county fair. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript unknown: 0:00 Oh no. David: 0:03 This is episode 129, Gaben. Do you not understand what I&#39;m literally setting up to do? Do you not understand how storytelling? Gavin: 0:13 Sorry. David: 0:16 Starting over. Gavin: 0:16 That&#39;s fine. That&#39;s fine. All right. And this is Gatrio. Oh my God. David: 0:35 So I want to tell you a story, Gavin. Are you ready? I&#39;m just sitting here with my mouth shut and my ears open. Except for right then. So my family and I, along with some friends, went to Disney on Ice. Yes. Gavin: 0:52 So jealous. So jealous. I&#39;ve never been. Is it as good as it was in the 80s that when I didn&#39;t get to see it? David: 0:58 I feel like I went when I was a kid and I don&#39;t think it was called the Ice Capades or Campbell Soup Tour or something. But I don&#39;t really know. Gavin: 1:04 What did you say? The Campbell Soup? David: 1:05 Yeah, it was called the Campbell Soup Tour. And they would take like whoever got second and third place at the Olympics that year. Right. And they would go on tour and make, you know,$100 a week. But um no, so we we bought tickets because we saw it was coming to town, and it was like, you know, kids, our kids should have that experience. And so the tickets were like medium. You could buy really expensive close-up VIP tickets, but also you could buy like$50 kind of faraway tickets. And so that&#39;s what we decided to do. unknown: 1:34 Right. David: 1:34 Well, Gavin, I knew I would have to battle the souvenir mafia. Oh, I knew, I knew I would, right? I knew that was coming. So I was prepared. What I wasn&#39;t prepared for was the absolute audacity of the Disney Aw nice people and what they&#39;re charging. I want to let you, I wanna, I&#39;m gonna interview you, Gavin. Gavin, okay. Uh, you want to buy a snow cone. Now, a snow cone comes in a plastic cup and you can choose Olaf or whatever. Gavin: 2:03 And um souvenir cup that you get to take home. David: 2:05 Uh-huh. Correct. How much is the snow cone?$12.$24. Gavin, do you want a spoon for your snow cone? That&#39;s extra. That&#39;s six dollars extra for a spoon. Gavin: 2:21 Is it a light up spoon or does it change colors with the temperature? David: 2:24 So there&#39;s$30 for your snow cone. Um, Gavin, how much is a soda? Um seven dollars.$45. Wait, what? Gavin,$45. And my favorite. You know the little plastic bubble ones that you like click the button, it&#39;s like LED or whatever? Gavin: 2:45 Yeah. David: 2:46 $50. No, no. Gavin, when I saw those prices, I almost lit the building on fire because I knew. Listen, we we&#39;ve all gone to theater and like we&#39;re all being upcharged. We get it. The audacity of either the Prudential Center in Newark or Disney on Ice, probably both. I yeah, I honestly couldn&#39;t believe it. And of course, now I have to argue with my children because they want the light up things, they want the Olaf customers. Of course they do things, and I&#39;m cheap as fuck. And I&#39;m like, no, you cannot. I&#39;ll buy a hundred of them on TMU for$2. You just have to wait eight weeks. unknown: 3:22 Yeah. David: 3:22 Right. So, anyway, this this is this is the majority of my story. Is like, I I I can&#39;t believe it. Gavin: 3:28 It is being a parent in this era is so infuriating for exactly the reason that you just said, because so much of the joy is sapped from both the parents and the children. Because the children, of course, are seduced by all of this consumerism, and the parents want to give them a wonderful experience, but we are forced to be like, also, who can afford this shit without complaining about it, right? Yeah. Because everybody seems to have the light up bubble wand things with the shape of your head. David: 3:55 There were bubbles everywhere. And also honest. I would pay$50 if all those dancers landed all their jumps. How was it? First of all, skaters, I&#39;m I I&#39;m a pro artist, but you gotta land more than half your jumps, girls and boys. Gavin: 4:15 Not just half. David: 4:16 No, 50% of their jumps fell on their butts. And we&#39;re not talking about like, oh, it&#39;s funny that Goofy fell and he was like, it&#39;s all in character. No, babe. When Elsa falls on a single Sal Cow, I know there&#39;s problems. So if you&#39;re gonna charge me thousands of dollars for bubble wands, Olaf needs to do a sit spin. Do you know what I mean? Gavin: 4:35 Also, you everybody needs to realize that David F. And Vaughn is a bitch and he was a skater. And you would have landed, sister would have landed all of her jumps. David: 4:45 She would have. So anyway, Disney on ice, listen, it was fun. Like they know what they&#39;re doing, right? Like it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s visually very interesting. My kids really loved it. But I did I spent the whole time arguing with my children that they couldn&#39;t buy all the things, and then they were upset as we were leaving. Gavin: 4:59 And it just like, you know, at the risk of trying to actually be um contribute to better parenting and making the world a better place. Wrong dust, bud, wrong. Uh uh exactly. Looking back on it, how could you have done that differently, do you think? Do you I mean, you knew that everything was going to be outrageously expensive. Do you think you could have said to your kids ahead of time, by the way, there&#39;s gonna be a lot of stuff that you want. Can you just do me a favor? Let&#39;s not consume this overpriced shit, and I swear to God, I&#39;ll get you four of them when we get home. David: 5:32 I th I I I love I love the dreaminess of what that is, but I think kids cannot override the fact that there was a flashing light in their face. I will say there were people outside the theater basically selling the same shit, and they were all saying, Hey, it&#39;s way more expensive inside, buy it now. And I was like, Yeah, right, guys. Oh no, they were serious. But um I think the only way, maybe, is going in and saying to your kids, you have a$20 budget. You could buy whatever you want for$20. Gavin: 5:59 Except that wouldn&#39;t have gotten them anyway. David: 6:01 Well, they could have bought a spoon, they could have had three spoons. Gavin: 6:04 Wait, wait, please break down the spoon situation for me. They were chart six dollars for a spoon. A spoon. Now, did you need did well as I recall those slushies, you could kind of like tip them back and have them smash into your face. Sure. Yeah. But everybody wants to have a spoon. Sure. Oh my God. Just the other day, just the other day, I was with my son. We went through Taco Bell, as one does, and I got a uh Powerbowl, something, and they didn&#39;t give me a spoon. And we were driving, and I looked around in the car, and I found an old ticket, like a ticket stub in the car. And I&#39;m like, Well, we are in a hurry, and I&#39;ll tell you why we were in a hurry in just a second. We were in a hurry, and so I just used a piece of cardboard to scoop the Taco Bell into my mouth because I am classy AF. David: 6:56 I will tell you, my friend Amanda travels with a fork in her backpack because she she calls it her her cake fork in case she runs into some cake and they don&#39;t have a fork. So she literally keeps a fork in her backpack. That&#39;s anyway that it now that is a dad hack. That is a dad hack. But anyway, that that&#39;s the end of my Disney on ice rant. I if if you really want to go, it&#39;s really fun. But just be prepared. The the extras are fucking insane. Gavin: 7:21 So I had a very adjacent experience this weekend that was unexpected. Uh, I have neighbors who have season tickets to the Patriots. Now, for those of the listeners out there, for listen. David: 7:37 For listener out there, just you almost expose the fact that we have more than one listener. Gavin: 7:42 For listener out there who doesn&#39;t know who the Patriots are, just kidding, we&#39;re all not idiots. We like to make jokes about how the Patriots are our favorite basketball team, but we know we&#39;re all on the same page. Anyway, I was like, hell yeah, I wanted tickets to an NFL game. That&#39;s awesome. So they gave us the tickets, which was super generous. I took my son and we went to up to um Foxboro. And we were a little late because he had a soccer game. So actually, we missed the crowd ahead of time, and we missed the first quarter of the game. But um getting there, my partner actually said, Don&#39;t uh don&#39;t nickel and dime this experience for him. Pretend it&#39;s Taylor Swift for our daughter. And I&#39;m like, Okay, you&#39;re right. And especially since the friggin&#39; tickets were given to us, I was not gonna um, you know, penny pinch. David: 8:22 Football is Taylor Swift for men. Got it. Gavin: 8:25 Okay. Right, Travis Kelsey, right? So anyway, so we saw the Patriots beat the Atlanta Ravens just barely. In fact, it was a game that just kind of fizzled out because uh the Ravens missed one of their extra points, and it was with only about a minute and a half left, and the Patriots just kind of like sat on the ball, basically. And by sat on the ball, you know what I mean. Anyway, my son, I was prepared to spend$100 in nonsensical food. And instead, to quote my son, when I got the I sprung for not the$7 fries, but the$9 um Parmesan garlic fries, he tasted one and he goes, those were mid. I&#39;m like, actually, yes, everything was mid, including, and I still recall, his$12 cotton candy, his$15 dippin&#39; dots, my$14 cheeseburger, and the$9 fries. Um, and my I don&#39;t even know how much my beer was because I just tapped and went. And um, I don&#39;t know. David: 9:26 It was I&#39;m such cliche dads right now, just complaining about the prices of things. Gavin: 9:31 It was losers or we but it how do people do it? I I look around at all of those fans, which by the way, it was less of a manga crowd than I really thought it was. And also, in contrast to a soccer game I got uh uh went to one time with my son where he was screamed at by other people. Like I&#39;m sure I talked about this uh two summers ago, where he was screamed at by the opposite um crowd because he was wearing the wrong jersey. I gotta say, the football fans were actually really nice. There were there were Atlanta Ravens, I guess, fans around us, and um, everybody was like, oh, that was what a play, blah, blah, blah. But they were all like getting along. Anyway, point being, who can afford this shit? That&#39;s what that&#39;s the whole point of this. The title of the segment is Who Can Afford This Shit? I don&#39;t get it. David: 10:12 Not us. Anyways, we made four cents last week on advertisements. Literally, I don&#39;t even post those emails anymore because I&#39;m like, listener has already seen me post them. Like, yeah, but we still every week it&#39;s like four cents. It&#39;s like we&#39;ll get a thing at our message just saying somebody wants to submit an ad for your show. I&#39;m like, great, accept. And they&#39;ve paid for four downloads or something. It&#39;s crazy. Anyway, moving on. Oh shit. Okay, so no more complaining. Let&#39;s talk about two really great things that are happening with our listener. Okay, let&#39;s do it. First of all, our first listener, um, I won&#39;t say his name because I don&#39;t know if he wants me to share this information, but um, our listener is pregnant, and him and his husband um have been doing circusy, and uh, we&#39;ve been kind of in contact since we&#39;ve started the podcast. And so they are pregnant and they&#39;re very excited, and obviously it&#39;s very early and all the things, but it&#39;s always so fun to kind of relive that part of the experience again with your friends or or whoever. Um, because you know, you find it or your listener, or your listener, because it&#39;s scary, right? Like it&#39;s a scary time, but it&#39;s so exciting and it&#39;s all new and everything. So everyone out there, uh, send good uh vibes to our listener who um is expecting their first. And also, our other listener sent us a dad hack of the week. Gavin: 11:26 Yes, and so Liam listener. Do we want to name him? David: 11:31 Well, you just did. Gavin: 11:33 So go ahead. Liam, who uh who has no problem giving us his thoughts and we absolutely love it. Thank you, listener, and please, all listener out there, um, share your thoughts with us. He said, he wrote us on um uh Instagram and said, Hey, I recently came up with a genius dad hack and thought I should share. You know those little pots you use to put pureed food in for your baby so you could freeze some? The ones with lids? Perfect ice cube maker for your Negroni. And he accompanied it with a picture of his drink in front of the television. And I assume that all children were uh asleep, or who cares what they were doing because listener was enjoying his Negroni. David: 12:11 Well, listener, I have a problem because you said, you know, the things where you&#39;d puree food for your baby of honey. Ah, I bought shit out of plastic tubs off the shelves at the low-end grocery store and whatever was on sale. I did not pure my baby food yes, exactly. Gavin: 12:26 You you were not, you were not a trad wife, um trad hubs, staying home and making your own puree food. I was not. It is it is not difficult to make your own baby food. It&#39;s really, really easy. David: 12:37 It&#39;s really easy. But I will say I do like the point of it, which is like, hey, listen, just because you&#39;re out of that baby phase doesn&#39;t mean you can&#39;t still utilize these things. So thank you, Liam, for sending in your dad hack. Everyone out there, if you&#39;re listening, please send us your dad hacks, your top three list ideas, your DILF ideas, whatever you have. We want to hear from you because it really takes the load off of us. And so we&#39;d like you to do the work so we could just sit back and make our four cents. Gavin: 13:01 Yep, absolutely. Please keep it coming. Yep. So uh moving on, speaking speaking of coming. That&#39;s what I was gonna say. I was speaking of coming, who&#39;s our DILFO coming? Our DIFO- Okay, we are absolutely following all the trends right now, but hey, why not hop on it, right? Just the way we would love to hop on him. Jonathan Bailey, finally People Magazine&#39;s sexiest man of the year and um in the world, or whatever the title is. And he is um the first out gay poster boy for uh People Magazine. So hey, doof of the week. I you know he&#39;s gonna be a dad at some point, and he&#39;s absolutely gonna be one of our um guests, right? Yeah, absolutely. David: 13:41 And and he&#39;s he seems like I part of his hotness to me, like I think he&#39;s traditionally hot, but also I think part of his hotness is he&#39;s got this like cheeky, like gooey, like I&#39;m gonna like play tricks on you kind of thing, which I love. Yeah. Gavin: 13:52 Um, he definitely, I mean, everything uh just he just owns who he is so well, and he&#39;s just he looks so happy all the time. I mean, how fantastic! Somebody that charming and that happy, and just the right amount of hair on his chest, and just all the things. David: 14:08 I mean, well, you know what won&#39;t make you happy? Tell me. Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is my week. Um, it is who are the top three people you would not answer a phone call from? Uh, let&#39;s do it. Um let&#39;s do it. So for me, um, number three um is somebody used to work with eight years ago. Here&#39;s why. Because they are calling you because either they have...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David braves Disney on ice, Gavin learns about football, our listener is preggo, Gavin has GOOD NEWS, we rank the top 3 people we wouldn&apos;t answer a call from, and this week our guest is god warrior and gay icon Marguerite Perrin, who talks to us about dark-sided stuff, how the gay community supported her during a tragic time in her life, and what the future looks like at the Louisiana county fair. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript unknown: 0:00 Oh no. David: 0:03 This is episode 129, Gaben. Do you not understand what I&#39;m literally setting up to do? Do you not understand how storytelling? Gavin: 0:13 Sorry. David: 0:16 Starting over. Gavin: 0:16 That&#39;s fine. That&#39;s fine. All right. And this is Gatrio. Oh my God. David: 0:35 So I want to tell you a story, Gavin. Are you ready? I&#39;m just sitting here with my mouth shut and my ears open. Except for right then. So my family and I, along with some friends, went to Disney on Ice. Yes. Gavin: 0:52 So jealous. So jealous. I&#39;ve never been. Is it as good as it was in the 80s that when I didn&#39;t get to see it? David: 0:58 I feel like I went when I was a kid and I don&#39;t think it was called the Ice Capades or Campbell Soup Tour or something. But I don&#39;t really know. Gavin: 1:04 What did you say? The Campbell Soup? David: 1:05 Yeah, it was called the Campbell Soup Tour. And they would take like whoever got second and third place at the Olympics that year. Right. And they would go on tour and make, you know,$100 a week. But um no, so we we bought tickets because we saw it was coming to town, and it was like, you know, kids, our kids should have that experience. And so the tickets were like medium. You could buy really expensive close-up VIP tickets, but also you could buy like$50 kind of faraway tickets. And so that&#39;s what we decided to do. unknown: 1:34 Right. David: 1:34 Well, Gavin, I knew I would have to battle the souvenir mafia. Oh, I knew, I knew I would, right? I knew that was coming. So I was prepared. What I wasn&#39;t prepared for was the absolute audacity of the Disney Aw nice people and what they&#39;re charging. I want to let you, I wanna, I&#39;m gonna interview you, Gavin. Gavin, okay. Uh, you want to buy a snow cone. Now, a snow cone comes in a plastic cup and you can choose Olaf or whatever. Gavin: 2:03 And um souvenir cup that you get to take home. David: 2:05 Uh-huh. Correct. How much is the snow cone?$12.$24. Gavin, do you want a spoon for your snow cone? That&#39;s extra. That&#39;s six dollars extra for a spoon. Gavin: 2:21 Is it a light up spoon or does it change colors with the temperature? David: 2:24 So there&#39;s$30 for your snow cone. Um, Gavin, how much is a soda? Um seven dollars.$45. Wait, what? Gavin,$45. And my favorite. You know the little plastic bubble ones that you like click the button, it&#39;s like LED or whatever? Gavin: 2:45 Yeah. David: 2:46 $50. No, no. Gavin, when I saw those prices, I almost lit the building on fire because I knew. Listen, we we&#39;ve all gone to theater and like we&#39;re all being upcharged. We get it. The audacity of either the Prudential Center in Newark or Disney on Ice, probably both. I yeah, I honestly couldn&#39;t believe it. And of course, now I have to argue with my children because they want the light up things, they want the Olaf customers. Of course they do things, and I&#39;m cheap as fuck. And I&#39;m like, no, you cannot. I&#39;ll buy a hundred of them on TMU for$2. You just have to wait eight weeks. unknown: 3:22 Yeah. David: 3:22 Right. So, anyway, this this is this is the majority of my story. Is like, I I I can&#39;t believe it. Gavin: 3:28 It is being a parent in this era is so infuriating for exactly the reason that you just said, because so much of the joy is sapped from both the parents and the children. Because the children, of course, are sedu]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David braves Disney on ice, Gavin learns about football, our listener is preggo, Gavin has GOOD NEWS, we rank the top 3 people we wouldn&apos;t answer a call from, and this week our guest is god warrior and gay icon Marguerite Perrin, who talks to us about dark-sided stuff, how the gay community supported her during a tragic time in her life, and what the future looks like at the Louisiana county fair. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript unknown: 0:00 Oh no. David: 0:03 This is episode 129, Gaben. Do you not understand what I&#39;m literally setting up to do? Do you not understand how storytelling? Gavin: 0:13 Sorry. David: 0:16 Starting over. Gavin: 0:16 That&#39;s fine. That&#39;s fine. All right. And this is Gatrio. Oh my God. David: 0:35 So I want to tell you a story, Gavin. Are you ready? I&#39;m just sitting here with my mouth shut and my ears open. Except for ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Family IT guy Ben Gillenwater</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-family-it-guy-ben-gillenwater/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Nov 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we recap our Halloweenies, all boys in theatre are gay, how to rewire your lizard brain, we rank the top 3 politicians who&apos;d make great ex-husbands, and this week we are joined by triple threat of our dreams Ben Gillenwater, aka &#34;Family IT guy,&#34; who talks to us about how to keep your kids safe on the internet, how to have just the right amount of paranoia, and the real way to get abs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin is at Gavin Lodge Lost. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. David: 0:08 And look, I I was just I I don&#39;t I couldn&#39;t quite piece that together. In the moment it whatever. We&#39;re still not good at this. We&#39;re still not good at this, Gavin. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:36 So tell me everything. How was the Halloween party? David: 0:40 Um, well, it was great because you weren&#39;t there. Um it&#39;s just bullshit. Um, no, it was really great. We we had our Halloween party that we had been barking about for for weeks and weeks and weeks, and we went to Sugar Mouse NYC. First of all, driving to the city in traffic through through fucking downtown was insane. But it was super fun. Thank you, listener, for showing up. Thank you, listener. One of my favorite parts of the evening was the the playlist we had put chosen was like family Halloween vibes or whatever. And kids bop, if you don&#39;t know what kids bop is, it&#39;s like kids singing pop songs. So they like re-record pop songs. And if there&#39;s a bad word, they&#39;ll you know they&#39;ll rewrite it out. But it&#39;s like literally children singing these songs. And Pink Pony Club came on, and I just had a moment where I&#39;m listening to children sing about strippers, and then all the kids at the party are like dancing with their hands up, and they&#39;re like, Pink Pony Club. I was like, there&#39;s something really fucked up about watching all of these children sing about being a stripper and being proud of it. But um it was super fun. We did our little catalog, we handed out candy, we played games, there was lots of tears. There were some babies that well, there were some like crawly, like up toddlery adjacent ones. It was it was a lot of fun. Gavin: 1:59 All dressed like pumpkins with the little pumpkin top on top of their head. David: 2:02 You absolutely know it. Um, but thank you, listener, that for coming out and thank you, Jamie Kelton from the Queer Family Podcast for co-hosting with us. Um, yeah, it was a great time. Gavin: 2:12 Were you proud of your uh skeleton jammies costume? You know, it always slaps, as the kids don&#39;t say anymore. David: 2:20 It is always it&#39;s so comfortable. I&#39;m gonna wear it uh today. Um, it is just so because we&#39;re recording actually on Halloween tonight. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, even though you&#39;re listening to this four days after Halloween. Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, the skeleton onesie is a classic. It&#39;s uh easy off, no makeup. It&#39;s fantastic. Gavin: 2:37 And were your kids uh bedecked in their costumes as well? David: 2:41 And was that a success? It was sort of a success. We had uh my son has just had decided what he wanted to be for Halloween, which was Spider-Man. We ordered a Spider-Man costume, he put it on, he loved it, loved it, loved it. And then when it was time to put on costumes, he burst into tears. He said, I hate Spider-Man, I don&#39;t want to be Spider-Man. Why would you buy me this costume? What is wrong with you? You&#39;re a terrible guy. And so he decided that he was gonna put together a pop star look, which was like vaguely K-pop demon hunters, with stuff we have kind of in the bin of costumes, and he was very happy with that. So he was a good pop star, um, which he didn&#39;t look like a pop star, he just looked like a kid in a sparkly jacket with a microphone, but whatever. Um, so he has yet to wear his Spider-Man costume that we that we bought. Okay. So that&#39;s pretty fun. That&#39;s pretty canon. Gavin: 3:26 And and maybe your daughter can in two years or in a year. Yeah, if she&#39;s not in prison by then. Well, what was she uh dressed as? David: 3:33 And what kind of hell did she put you through? None. Oh, well, actually, technically, yeah. So she was she wanted to be a gray kitty, and she was a great kitty, and she loved her gray kitty costume. And I was like, listen, that&#39;s what I want. However, there&#39;s a photo I think we&#39;re gonna post today, which was four days for you all. This is really weird recording out of time. But um uh when we I went up to the stage with Jamie to like, you know, make announcements and and get things up, but she burst into tears for whatever reason. I don&#39;t know why, and she refused to stop crying unless I was holding her. So I had to like hold her sobbing as I&#39;m trying to like run this like party. So that was really fun. So she put me through that shit. But otherwise, she did weigh her wear her costume, and so it was it was a success. Gavin: 4:14 Um, do you um you probably recall me bragging about my son&#39;s utter creativity with uh Halloween costumes, you know, from being a goat. Yeah, who what three-year-old chooses to be a goat to being a jar of minced garlic, to being a stop sign, etc. Yep. Tonight, despite the fact that he is 100% that boy and just soccer, soccer, soccer, this, that, and the other, and just like very conventional, don&#39;t look at me. I just want to kind of like be a uh awkward boy in the background. He&#39;s going as a container of TikTok, Tic Tacs. Oh, he&#39;s yeah, I I&#39;m uh I&#39;m stoked for him to still to keep that uh those creativity vibes uh going. And then my daughter, I don&#39;t know if she&#39;s trying to be a sexy bunny or a um uh men in black or she&#39;s bit various things. I don&#39;t understand what it is, but I&#39;m just happy that she&#39;s still playing along with Halloween vibes because it&#39;s fun, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Um, so speaking of my daughter, just a couple of days ago, she she and I were talking about her complete in disinterest in uh doing any theater at school. I think I&#39;ve talked about this before, right? I don&#39;t think that this will be another one of those hills that I die on, but uh I do wish that she would give it a try because she&#39;s so critical of theater kids, which I know is just a reaction to us, without a doubt. She&#39;s just being a rebel, right? But I was asking her about some of the boys in it, some of the girls in it, da da da da. And she made a comment like, well, you know he&#39;s obviously gay. And I&#39;m like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? She&#39;s like, Well, all boys in theater are gay. And I&#39;m like, wait, wait a minute. You&#39;re like, first of all, yes. Second of all, second of all, no. But I thought, wait, you can&#39;t make those gross generalizations. And she said, uh yes, I can, as if she has license to make all of the, like, you know, just out anybody that she chooses to coming from the family that she&#39;s in, right? And I&#39;m like, wait, wait, wait, you can&#39;t make a generalization like that. That&#39;s absolutely not true. I certainly do know straight men in theater. We have had many of them on Gatriarch, right? Yes. And then she goes, Well, I don&#39;t necessarily mean entirely gay. I just mean they have a little zing in their step. At which point I burst out in laughter. And I&#39;m like, and there I completely agree with that. Completely agree. David: 6:32 There is even the straightest man in musical theaters got a little sugar in their tank, just a little spice, just a little something. Yeah. Gavin: 6:39 That and so her term for that was just a little zing in their step. Okay. And uh, and I&#39;m okay with that actually now. And I I&#39;m like, I hope you do think that that is a good thing. And then she was offended that I would question it. She said, of course it is. So the level of um the ways that I offend my daughter, I still confound me, but I did think that that was a hilarious um interchange we exchange we had because um, yeah, there is a little something to be uh zinging your step. And frankly, it makes you more interesting, right? David: 7:10 Yeah. Uh so this week uh I wanted to talk about rewiring your lizard brain because I&#39;ve been going through this thing at my son&#39;s school where he&#39;s been kind of getting in trouble with his teacher because he&#39;s been not focusing, he hasn&#39;t been responding to his name. When they when they move from the carpet to the desks, he&#39;s always the last one. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s in that general vibe, right? He&#39;s a little flighty, he&#39;s not paying attention to me. Um, he&#39;s been getting in trouble. And now it&#39;s to the point where he&#39;s like, We need to do something. And okay, my initial instinct was fuck you, my son&#39;s perfect. I&#39;m burning this house down, right? Like sure. And my my calm, rational husband was like, we need to rewire our lizard brain and think thoughtfully about this, you know, because that&#39;s that&#39;s him. He&#39;s he&#39;s the you know. Gavin: 7:55 Um, but if he perpetually rewiring his brain, I mean, do you think he even has permanent connections up there, or they&#39;re just always moving around? David: 8:02 I just think he defaults to a calm, it&#39;s not the worst case scenario. He&#39;s insane. Do you know what I mean? Like that&#39;s a terrible that can&#39;t can you believe walking around thinking things are just okay? That sounds awful to me. Um if you&#39;ll if you fall for anything, you&#39;ll fall for anything. Correct. So um he he was like, you know, let&#39;s let&#39;s give them a chance. They&#39;re trying to help him or whatever. Um, but I I was just thinking about how we as parents constantly have to override some of our uh like initial instincts to things. Yeah, our base instincts, without a doubt. That&#39;s yeah. Gavin: 8:41 It&#39;s another level of just trying to get along in society and walking around in the world thinking I need to repress my initial instincts. But as a parent, a hundred percent. David: 8:50 And I was thinking about like, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, Gavin, but um politically our country&#39;s in a little bit of a tough spot right now. And is this is this the time? Would you like to unpack that? Yeah, sure, totally. Um, but you know, uh my instinct is always to have my children see and participate in the realities around them and my life. And so I am vocally active and we uh politically and and constantly sharing my opinion to every crazy person on the street corner. And then I have to kind of rewire my brain and say, hold on, while I want him to witness reality and witness me fighting for what I believe in, I also have to protect his innocence in a complicated world that he doesn&#39;t quite fully understand. And I feel like I was thinking about, I was like, we should bring this on the podcast as a conversation topic of like this, you know, wanting your kids to watch you fight politically and to have opinions politically and to do all those things, but also protect their innocence. We talked about this last year too, but like I don&#39;t know, I&#39;ve just it&#39;s just been a theme for me lately of this like, wait, wait, wait, don&#39;t don&#39;t go there immediately. Let not let don&#39;t let them see that part of your brain, even though you want them to be able to see that part of your brain. Gavin: 10:13 Yeah. And you want them to be able to have natural reactions to things, and and you don&#39;t want to repress their feelings and emotions, but I mean, so much of it also is about just plain manipulation, right? Like by repressing your base instincts, what you&#39;re doing is playing mind games with everybody from your husband to the teachers to people on the street to your children, you know, and uh realizing that you don&#39;t get what you want often by just exploding and screaming or being reactionary. You do need to like play the game a little bit to get what you want. And uh, I mean, I do that in work all the time, where one of my colleagues is like, listen, you can&#39;t rationalize with people anymore. And I shocker, I&#39;m sure, want to rationalize constantly, both my my own behavior and but get to a rational conversation with people who completely disagree with me. And I probably am delusional enough to think that I can get there if just listen to me for a little bit. Let&#39;s just have a rational conversation. So you started on the. I know that that&#39;s I know that that&#39;s very, very difficult. And frankly, mind manipulation is better. And uh think looking at it from a different perspective, just like your much smarter, better half probably would say. David: 11:37 Yes, and and and my my lizard brain was reacting so poorly in this situation with my son because I was like, this is so unfair, there&#39;s nothing wrong with him. How dare you overreact? And you know, all these kind of things that I&#39;m having to like, no, it&#39;s it&#39;s probably not that. But what I would what what I want to say is that part of this community, the Gate Chart community, and all of our listener, I think we all can agree that it feels so good when you feel so crazy like that, and then you get confirmation from another parent that no, your kid is not broken, your kid is not the only one. My contractor basically was telling him this story about my kid getting in trouble, and I was feeling shitty about it and defensive. And he was like, Oh, look at the email I got today. And he lets me read this email on his phone about how his son did something way worse, way worse than my son. And I was like, Oh, I feel so much better. And now I&#39;m back to the center. So, all of you listener out there, if you&#39;re feeling like, oh my God, is my kid broken and I&#39;m so nervous and what am I doing wrong? Just find another parent and ask them how their kid is doing today. And they&#39;re probably doing way worse than your kid. Gavin: 12:40 That is the kind of one-upsmanship I can always sign up for. Let me let let&#39;s outdo each other and what the level of asshole ishness from our children. Um, were you visually and mentally undressing your contractor as you were talking about that with him? He&#39;s so hot. I forget, is this a hot yeah? This is the hot. David: 12:58 I swear up and down, he&#39;s also a great contractor, and that is not why we hired him. But I cannot say that I don&#39;t stare at him with like hungry eyes, as Duran Duran would say. Is it Duran Duran who&#39;s sang that song? Gavin: 13:11 No, definitely not. But it&#39;s no, I think it&#39;s um uh Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing. I think that was one of his songs that he sang. He sang he sang, I think, two songs on the Dirty Dancing that uh we&#39;re breaking 40-year-old news here on Gatriarchs. Also, she&#39;s wind through my trees. No, so actually, not speaking of news just yet. Yeah, yeah, pretty positive. Go ahead and Google it while I bore you with my next topic. Um, wait, so speaking of um hot guys and listener, um, I did want to say that, okay, so I was not at the Halloween thing because I was in France, and I didn&#39;t want to make that a humble brag. I have family there, and frankly, they paid for me to go. So I uh I was lucky to go have a family reunion that came out of uh tragedy, yada yada, yada. But I was in France. And I want it, I want you to know that I flew over Jersey, the island of Jersey. I flew over. I took a picture of it on my phone. I&#39;m definitely gonna post it and say, hi, listener, in Jersey. And I thought, oh wow, did you know that the capital of Jersey is St. Helier, or probably Saint Helier? No, no, they speak English there. Never mind, it&#39;s Saint Hillier. David: 14:27 Our listener is so offended by your pronunciation of their home, the place where they&#39;re raising their children. Gavin: 14:34 So I uh was very excited that we flew over. David: 14:37 So then speaking of wait, sorry,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we recap our Halloweenies, all boys in theatre are gay, how to rewire your lizard brain, we rank the top 3 politicians who&apos;d make great ex-husbands, and this week we are joined by triple threat of our dreams Ben Gillenwater, aka &#34;Fami]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we recap our Halloweenies, all boys in theatre are gay, how to rewire your lizard brain, we rank the top 3 politicians who&apos;d make great ex-husbands, and this week we are joined by triple threat of our dreams Ben Gillenwater, aka &#34;Family IT guy,&#34; who talks to us about how to keep your kids safe on the internet, how to have just the right amount of paranoia, and the real way to get abs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin is at Gavin Lodge Lost. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. David: 0:08 And look, I I was just I I don&#39;t I couldn&#39;t quite piece that together. In the moment it whatever. We&#39;re still not good at this. We&#39;re still not good at this, Gavin. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:36 So tell me everything. How was the Halloween party? David: 0:40 Um, well, it was great because you weren&#39;t there. Um it&#39;s just bullshit. Um, no, it was really great. We we had our Halloween party that we had been barking about for for weeks and weeks and weeks, and we went to Sugar Mouse NYC. First of all, driving to the city in traffic through through fucking downtown was insane. But it was super fun. Thank you, listener, for showing up. Thank you, listener. One of my favorite parts of the evening was the the playlist we had put chosen was like family Halloween vibes or whatever. And kids bop, if you don&#39;t know what kids bop is, it&#39;s like kids singing pop songs. So they like re-record pop songs. And if there&#39;s a bad word, they&#39;ll you know they&#39;ll rewrite it out. But it&#39;s like literally children singing these songs. And Pink Pony Club came on, and I just had a moment where I&#39;m listening to children sing about strippers, and then all the kids at the party are like dancing with their hands up, and they&#39;re like, Pink Pony Club. I was like, there&#39;s something really fucked up about watching all of these children sing about being a stripper and being proud of it. But um it was super fun. We did our little catalog, we handed out candy, we played games, there was lots of tears. There were some babies that well, there were some like crawly, like up toddlery adjacent ones. It was it was a lot of fun. Gavin: 1:59 All dressed like pumpkins with the little pumpkin top on top of their head. David: 2:02 You absolutely know it. Um, but thank you, listener, that for coming out and thank you, Jamie Kelton from the Queer Family Podcast for co-hosting with us. Um, yeah, it was a great time. Gavin: 2:12 Were you proud of your uh skeleton jammies costume? You know, it always slaps, as the kids don&#39;t say anymore. David: 2:20 It is always it&#39;s so comfortable. I&#39;m gonna wear it uh today. Um, it is just so because we&#39;re recording actually on Halloween tonight. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, even though you&#39;re listening to this four days after Halloween. Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, the skeleton onesie is a classic. It&#39;s uh easy off, no makeup. It&#39;s fantastic. Gavin: 2:37 And were your kids uh bedecked in their costumes as well? David: 2:41 And was that a success? It was sort of a success. We had uh my son has just had decided what he wanted to be for Halloween, which was Spider-Man. We ordered a Spider-Man costume, he put it on, he loved it, loved it, loved it. And then when it was time to put on costumes, he burst into tears. He said, I hate Spider-Man, I don&#39;t want to be Spider-Man. Why would you buy me this costume? What is wrong with you? You&#39;re a terrible guy. And so he decided that he was gonna put together a pop star look, which was like vaguely K-pop demon hunters, with stuff we have kind of in the bin of costumes, and he was very happy with that. So he was a good pop star, um, which he didn&#39;t look like a pop star, he just looked like a kid in a sparkly jacket with a microphone, but whatever. Um, so he has yet to wear his Spider-Man costume that we that we bought. Okay. So that&#39;s pretty fun. That&#39;s pretty canon. Gavin: 3:26 And and maybe your daughter can in two years or in a year. Yeah, if she&#39;s not in prison by then. Well, what was she uh dressed as? David: 3:33 And what kind of hell did she put you through? None. Oh, well, actually, technically, yeah. So she was she wanted to be a gray kitty, and she was a great kitty, and she loved her gray kitty costume. And I was like, listen, that&#39;s what I want. However, there&#39;s a photo I think we&#39;re gonna post today, which was four days for you all. This is really weird recording out of time. But um uh when we I went up to the stage with Jamie to like, you know, make announcements and and get things up, but she burst into tears for whatever reason. I don&#39;t know why, and she refused to stop crying unless I was holding her. So I had to like hold her sobbing as I&#39;m trying to like run this like party. So that was really fun. So she put me through that shit. But otherwise, she did weigh her wear her costume, and so it was it was a success. Gavin: 4:14 Um, do you um you probably recall me bragging about my son&#39;s utter creativity with uh Halloween costumes, you know, from being a goat. Yeah, who what three-year-old chooses to be a goat to being a jar of minced garlic, to being a stop sign, etc. Yep. Tonight, despite the fact that he is 100% that boy and just soccer, soccer, soccer, this, that, and the other, and just like very conventional, don&#39;t look at me. I just want to kind of like be a uh awkward boy in the background. He&#39;s going as a container of TikTok, Tic Tacs. Oh, he&#39;s yeah, I I&#39;m uh I&#39;m stoked for him to still to keep that uh those creativity vibes uh going. And then my daughter, I don&#39;t know if she&#39;s trying to be a sexy bunny or a um uh men in black or she&#39;s bit various things. I don&#39;t understand what it is, but I&#39;m just happy that she&#39;s still playing along with Halloween vibes because it&#39;s fun, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Um, so speaking of my daughter, just a couple of days ago, she she and I were talking about her complete in disinterest in uh doing any theater at school. I think I&#39;ve talked about this before, right? I don&#39;t think that this will be another one of those hills that I die on, but uh I do wish that she would give it a try because she&#39;s so critical of theater kids, which I know is just a reaction to us, without a doubt. She&#39;s just being a rebel, right? But I was asking her about some of the boys in it, some of the girls in it, da da da da. And she made a comment like, well, you know he&#39;s obviously gay. And I&#39;m like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? She&#39;s like, Well, all boys in theater are gay. And I&#39;m like, wait, wait a minute. You&#39;re like, first of all, yes. Second of all, second of all, no. But I thought, wait, you can&#39;t make those gross generalizations. And she said, uh yes, I can, as if she has license to make all of the, like, you know, just out anybody that she chooses to coming from the family that she&#39;s in, right? And I&#39;m like, wait, wait, wait, you can&#39;t make a generalization like that. That&#39;s absolutely not true. I certainly do know straight men in theater. We have had many of them on Gatriarch, right? Yes. And then she goes, Well, I don&#39;t necessarily mean entirely gay. I just mean they have a little zing in their step. At which point I burst out in laughter. And I&#39;m like, and there I completely agree with that. Completely agree. David: 6:32 There is even the straightest man in musical theaters got a little sugar in their tank, just a little spice, just a little something. Yeah. Gavin: 6:39 That and so her term for that was just a little zing in their step. Okay. And uh, and I&#39;m okay with that actually now. And I I&#39;m like, I hope you do think that that is a good thing. And then she was offended that I would question it. She said, of course it is. So the level of um the ways that I offend my daughter, I still confound me, but I did think that that was a hilarious um interchange we exchange we had because um, yeah, there is a little something to be uh zinging your step. And frankly, it makes you more interesting, right? David: 7:10 Yeah. Uh so this week uh I wanted to talk about rewiring your lizard brain because I&#39;ve been going through this thing at my son&#39;s school where he&#39;s been kind of getting in trouble with his teacher because he&#39;s been not focusing, he hasn&#39;t been responding to his name. When they when they move from the carpet to the desks, he&#39;s always the last one. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s in that general vibe, right? He&#39;s a little flighty, he&#39;s not paying attention to me. Um, he&#39;s been getting in trouble. And now it&#39;s to the point where he&#39;s like, We need to do something. And okay, my initial instinct was fuck you, my son&#39;s perfect. I&#39;m burning this house down, right? Like sure. And my my calm, rational husband was like, we need to rewire our lizard brain and think thoughtfully about this, you know, because that&#39;s that&#39;s him. He&#39;s he&#39;s the you know. Gavin: 7:55 Um, but if he perpetually rewiring his brain, I mean, do you think he even has permanent connections up there, or they&#39;re just always moving around? David: 8:02 I just think he defaults to a calm, it&#39;s not the worst case scenario. He&#39;s insane. Do you know what I mean? Like that&#39;s a terrible that can&#39;t can you believe walking around thinking things are just okay? That sounds awful to me. Um if you&#39;ll if you fall for anything, you&#39;ll fall for anything. Correct. So um he he was like, you know, let&#39;s let&#39;s give them a chance. They&#39;re trying to help him or whatever. Um, but I I was just thinking about how we as parents constantly have to override some of our uh like initial instincts to things. Yeah, our base instincts, without a doubt. That&#39;s yeah. Gavin: 8:41 It&#39;s another level of just trying to get along in society and walking around in the world thinking I need to repress my initial instincts. But as a parent, a hundred percent. David: 8:50 And I was thinking about like, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, Gavin, but um politically our country&#39;s in a little bit of a tough spot right now. And is this is this the time? Would you like to unpack that? Yeah, sure, totally. Um, but you know, uh my instinct is always to have my children see and participate in the realities around them and my life. And so I am vocally active and we uh politically and and constantly sharing my opinion to every crazy person on the street corner. And then I have to kind of rewire my brain and say, hold on, while I want him to witness reality and witness me fighting for what I believe in, I also have to protect his innocence in a complicated world that he doesn&#39;t quite fully understand. And I feel like I was thinking about, I was like, we should bring this on the podcast as a conversation topic of like this, you know, wanting your kids to watch you fight politically and to have opinions politically and to do all those things, but also protect their innocence. We talked about this last year too, but like I don&#39;t know, I&#39;ve just it&#39;s just been a theme for me lately of this like, wait, wait, wait, don&#39;t don&#39;t go there immediately. Let not let don&#39;t let them see that part of your brain, even though you want them to be able to see that part of your brain. Gavin: 10:13 Yeah. And you want them to be able to have natural reactions to things, and and you don&#39;t want to repress their feelings and emotions, but I mean, so much of it also is about just plain manipulation, right? Like by repressing your base instincts, what you&#39;re doing is playing mind games with everybody from your husband to the teachers to people on the street to your children, you know, and uh realizing that you don&#39;t get what you want often by just exploding and screaming or being reactionary. You do need to like play the game a little bit to get what you want. And uh, I mean, I do that in work all the time, where one of my colleagues is like, listen, you can&#39;t rationalize with people anymore. And I shocker, I&#39;m sure, want to rationalize constantly, both my my own behavior and but get to a rational conversation with people who completely disagree with me. And I probably am delusional enough to think that I can get there if just listen to me for a little bit. Let&#39;s just have a rational conversation. So you started on the. I know that that&#39;s I know that that&#39;s very, very difficult. And frankly, mind manipulation is better. And uh think looking at it from a different perspective, just like your much smarter, better half probably would say. David: 11:37 Yes, and and and my my lizard brain was reacting so poorly in this situation with my son because I was like, this is so unfair, there&#39;s nothing wrong with him. How dare you overreact? And you know, all these kind of things that I&#39;m having to like, no, it&#39;s it&#39;s probably not that. But what I would what what I want to say is that part of this community, the Gate Chart community, and all of our listener, I think we all can agree that it feels so good when you feel so crazy like that, and then you get confirmation from another parent that no, your kid is not broken, your kid is not the only one. My contractor basically was telling him this story about my kid getting in trouble, and I was feeling shitty about it and defensive. And he was like, Oh, look at the email I got today. And he lets me read this email on his phone about how his son did something way worse, way worse than my son. And I was like, Oh, I feel so much better. And now I&#39;m back to the center. So, all of you listener out there, if you&#39;re feeling like, oh my God, is my kid broken and I&#39;m so nervous and what am I doing wrong? Just find another parent and ask them how their kid is doing today. And they&#39;re probably doing way worse than your kid. Gavin: 12:40 That is the kind of one-upsmanship I can always sign up for. Let me let let&#39;s outdo each other and what the level of asshole ishness from our children. Um, were you visually and mentally undressing your contractor as you were talking about that with him? He&#39;s so hot. I forget, is this a hot yeah? This is the hot. David: 12:58 I swear up and down, he&#39;s also a great contractor, and that is not why we hired him. But I cannot say that I don&#39;t stare at him with like hungry eyes, as Duran Duran would say. Is it Duran Duran who&#39;s sang that song? Gavin: 13:11 No, definitely not. But it&#39;s no, I think it&#39;s um uh Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing. I think that was one of his songs that he sang. He sang he sang, I think, two songs on the Dirty Dancing that uh we&#39;re breaking 40-year-old news here on Gatriarchs. Also, she&#39;s wind through my trees. No, so actually, not speaking of news just yet. Yeah, yeah, pretty positive. Go ahead and Google it while I bore you with my next topic. Um, wait, so speaking of um hot guys and listener, um, I did want to say that, okay, so I was not at the Halloween thing because I was in France, and I didn&#39;t want to make that a humble brag. I have family there, and frankly, they paid for me to go. So I uh I was lucky to go have a family reunion that came out of uh tragedy, yada yada, yada. But I was in France. And I want it, I want you to know that I flew over Jersey, the island of Jersey. I flew over. I took a picture of it on my phone. I&#39;m definitely gonna post it and say, hi, listener, in Jersey. And I thought, oh wow, did you know that the capital of Jersey is St. Helier, or probably Saint Helier? No, no, they speak English there. Never mind, it&#39;s Saint Hillier. David: 14:27 Our listener is so offended by your pronunciation of their home, the place where they&#39;re raising their children. Gavin: 14:34 So I uh was very excited that we flew over. David: 14:37 So then speaking of wait, sorry,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we recap our Halloweenies, all boys in theatre are gay, how to rewire your lizard brain, we rank the top 3 politicians who&apos;d make great ex-husbands, and this week we are joined by triple threat of our dreams Ben Gillenwater, aka &#34;Family IT guy,&#34; who talks to us about how to keep your kids safe on the internet, how to have just the right amount of paranoia, and the real way to get abs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin is at Gavin Lodge Lost. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. David: 0:08 And look, I I was just I I don&#39;t I couldn&#39;t quite piece that together. In the moment it whatever. We&#39;re still not good at this. We&#39;re still not good at this, Gavin. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:36 So tell me everything. How was the Halloween party? David: 0:40 Um, well, it was great because you weren&#39;t there. Um it&#39;s just bullshit. Um, no, it was really great. We we had our Halloween party that we had been barking about for for weeks and weeks and weeks, and we went to Sugar Mouse NYC. First of all, driving to the city in traffic through through fucking downtown was insane. But it was super fun. Thank you, listener, for showing up. Thank you, listener. One of my favorite parts of the evening was the the playlist we had put chosen was like family Halloween vibes or whatever. And kids bop, if you don&#39;t know what kids bop is, it&#39;s like kids singing pop songs. So they like re-record pop songs. And if there&#39;s a bad word, they&#39;ll you know they&#39;ll rewrite it out. But it&#39;s like literally children singing these songs. And Pink Pony Club came on, and I just had a moment where I&#39;m listening to children sing about strippers, and then all the kids at the party are like dancing with their hands up, and they&#39;re like, Pink Pony Club. I was like, there&#39;s something really fucked up about watching all of these children sing about being a stripper and being proud of it. But um it was super fun. We did our little catalog, we handed out candy, we played games, there was lots of tears. There were some babies that well, there were some like crawly, like up toddlery adjacent ones. It was it was a lot of fun. Gavin: 1:59 All dressed like pumpkins with the little pumpkin top on top of their head. David: 2:02 You absolutely know it. Um, but thank you, listener, that for coming out and thank you, Jamie Kelton from the Queer Family Podcast for co-hosting with us. Um, yeah, it was a great time. Gavin: 2:12 Were you proud of your uh skeleton jammies costume? You know, it always slaps, as the kids don&#39;t say anymore. David: 2:20 It is always it&#39;s so comfortable. I&#39;m gonna wear it uh today. Um, it is just so because we&#39;re recording actually on Halloween tonight. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, even though you&#39;re listening to this four days after Halloween. Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, the skeleton onesie is a classic. It&#39;s uh easy off, no makeup. It&#39;s fantastic. Gavin: 2:37 And were your kids uh bedecked in their costumes as well? David: 2:41 And was that a success? It was sort of a success. We had uh my son has just had decided what he wanted to be for Halloween, which was Spider-Man. We ordered a Spider-Man costume, he put it on, he loved it, loved it, loved it. And then when it was time to put on costumes, he burst into tears. He said, I hate Spider-Man, I don&#39;t want to be Spider-Man. Why would you buy me this costume? What is wrong with you? You&#39;re a terrible guy. And so he decided that he was gonna put together a pop star look, which was like vaguely K-pop demon hunters, with stuff we have kind of in the bin of costumes, and he was very happy with that. So he was a good pop star, um, which he didn&#39;t look like a pop star, he just looked like a kid in a sparkly jack]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we recap our Halloweenies, all boys in theatre are gay, how to rewire your lizard brain, we rank the top 3 politicians who&apos;d make great ex-husbands, and this week we are joined by triple threat of our dreams Ben Gillenwater, aka &#34;Family IT guy,&#34; who talks to us about how to keep your kids safe on the internet, how to have just the right amount of paranoia, and the real way to get abs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin is at Gavin Lodge Lost. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. David: 0:08 And look, I I was just I I don&#39;t I couldn&#39;t quite piece that together. In the moment it whatever. We&#39;re still not good at this. We&#39;re still not good at this, Gavin. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:36 So tell me everything. How was the Halloween party? David: 0:40 Um, well, it]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with political stratagist Bill Burton</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-political-stratagist-bill-burton/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won&apos;t dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama&apos;s BFF Bill Burton who talks to us about the state of the world today, who is secretly gay in Republican politics, and why, even amongst all the chaos, there&apos;s cause for hope. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um what are you just what are you laughing at? Oh I was just laughing at an idea I had for a top three list and it was really funny, so I thought I&#39;d I was laughing at myself for being so comedically student. SPEAKER_01: 0:15 Well, if no one else is gonna do it, you might as well. Shut up. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:36 So here at Gatriarch the Podcast, we get you know, we get DMs, we get emails, we get a lot, we don&#39;t get a lot of responses from you, but we get enough, right? And I would love more. Gavin: 0:46 We get enough that it seems like we&#39;re really neglecting our email because we&#39;re so inundated with messaging to not really make any money. David: 0:55 But I want to just give you, I think all of our messages, all of our uh listener responses fall into two categories. Uh-huh. And I&#39;m gonna read two versions of some of the responses we&#39;ve got in the past couple of months. So the first general, I feel like bucket we get responses is like nice, loving, kind of thank you emails. Gavin: 1:13 So we got When are we gonna get hate mail? I mean, not that we should want it, but remember remember a hundred episodes ago when other, say, podcasters or influencers were like, oh my god, we get so much hate, we just have to block it out. And I we were like, we don&#39;t get it. They&#39;re like, just you wait. Well, nope, we&#39;re still waiting. David: 1:31 That didn&#39;t happen. So um, we got another message from our favorite New Jerseyan. No, our favorite Jerseyan. Gavin: 1:39 I that you you need to go back and record that because how offensive. David: 1:43 I know that was really offensive. I&#39;m so sorry, Steve. Um, but he sent us another message because we mentioned him in the show and he said, Wait, let&#39;s clarify where he&#39;s from. It is not a good thing. He lives in Jersey, the country. Do you think he&#39;s not New Jersey, the state? Gavin: 1:57 The small island between France and the United Kingdom. David: 2:01 Listen, we have listener everywhere. Um, but he sent us a lovely uh email that said, Alas, I cannot attend your New York gathering. The Atlantic Ocean remains stubbornly situated between us, and I&#39;m far too sensible to swim it for a podcast meetup, even one as allegedly delightful as yours. First of all, let&#39;s talk about the cadence and the the the like the like syntax and like all the delicious words he&#39;s using. Um thank you for the shout-outs. You were impressed by yourselves. I shall listen about it from my somewhat remote Bali. Bailey Bailiwick. Bailiwick, where I remained your devotee. Do try not to let the turnout inflate your egos more than necessary. Yours from the pristine shores of Jersey, Steven. Now, that is a that is a poem. That is Shakespeare. Gavin: 2:43 And you don&#39;t really know if he&#39;s um complimenting us or utterly insulting us, but he&#39;s this is absolutely the compliment. David: 2:52 This is a lovely, flowery, poetic, beautiful message. So we I don&#39;t know. Half of our stuff is that, right? The other half. On the other hand, may I this is the kind of shit we get. This is from David Morganstern, previous guest from uh Gay Sharks, who uh runs the the the Gaddies account. Gavin: 3:11 We&#39;re trying to help him out, right? I mean, he came on our show to to tout his new line of clothing, which everybody should buy and which we have and have sported. And but this is the kind of slimy person. David: 3:24 You&#39;ve ruined the momentum of this joke. You&#39;ve totally derailed the momentum I was building to the comics. That&#39;s why I hired you, Dave. This is why you just stop talking. That&#39;s all that&#39;s all you gotta do. Okay. All right, so let&#39;s pretend like I just read the really nice email and now it&#39;s transitioning to this email. Okay. He says, My favorite part about the pod is that because you are all such messes, whenever I listen, I feel so much better about me and my life and my capabilities. You guys are so much cheaper than Lorazapam. So, and now this is where, Gavin, you would say what you had said before, which is we try to insert insert joke here. Insert joke here. Exactly. But we appreciate it though. Gavin: 4:09 And it&#39;s just the right amount of the right amount of snide cattiness that we would expect here. David: 4:15 It is, it is definitely the language we speak, and we we are not actually being shady, David. He&#39;s lovely, we love him, but it is very funny. Because this is listen, this is the tone of our show. Sometimes it&#39;s sweet, and sometimes it&#39;s caddy nonsense. And so we just want to read you some of our this is our little mailbag section. So you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 4:32 We&#39;ll definitely turn this into a t-shirt. You guys are so much cheaper than Laraza Pam. Ooh, hey, David, that is a great shirt. So this weekend, I went to a concert with my daughter. It was her Christmas present from last year. We went into New York City to see Tate McRae, which everybody there are many, it&#39;s 50-50 whether people our age even know who she is, which definitely makes us out of touch. I definitely don&#39;t. I which makes us really out of touch. Because when it really comes down to it, she is the Britney Spears of 2025 right now. She&#39;s got uh lots of top tens already. She you know more than of her than you realize. She&#39;s a major dancer. I have totally dismissed her for just being, I don&#39;t know, basic and and I can&#39;t distinguish between her music. But we were at the concert and it was, you know what? It was fun. It was fun. She the dancing was great. Um, she really brought a show. And at one point during the concert, she goes, you know, everybody, uh, I&#39;m getting older this year, and it&#39;s just crazy how things are just passing by us so quickly. When I turned 22, and there wasn&#39;t quite enough of a sigh or gasp from the audience. So you knew. She really did. This is a song that I wrote with many years ago when I was so much younger. When I was 17, I thought, oh my God. Um, it&#39;s hard to take it seriously, even though she&#39;s being totally, you know, she you do grow a lot between 17 and 22, without a doubt. Anyway, my point is my kids don&#39;t know how to dance. And that goes for also my son who had a middle school dance a couple of weeks ago. And I asked him, Did you have fun? He&#39;s like, no. I said, why not? He said, well, we just run around the school. And I&#39;m like, but don&#39;t you dance? He said, no, who does that? And I&#39;m thought, I mean, I have not had eyes on a middle school dance or a high school dance for that matter, but I&#39;ve asked some high schoolers around also, do people dance at your homecoming? Do people dance at your prom? And the answer is really kind of not really. And I think this is a travesty of social media. David: 6:38 You don&#39;t mean they don&#39;t have the skills to dance. You mean that it is not culturally that they don&#39;t dance at these functions. Oh. Gavin: 6:44 And you know what? I think it&#39;s because they don&#39;t have Club MTV. Now I know you are much younger than I am, David. Much I don&#39;t even know what you&#39;re talking about. When I was in middle school, I watched Club MTV after school, three o&#39;clock in the afternoon. It was live from, like, I don&#39;t know, the palladium in New York or London or something like that, hosted by downtown Julie Brown, whoa, whoa, whoa, but goodbye, God bless. Um, if you know, you know. And but I would watch people dance socially on TV. And I absolutely would practice moves that I watched and had to do it quickly because you couldn&#39;t rewind. It wasn&#39;t in 15-second increments or anything. And they would have live performances by Paul Abdul and you&#39;re welcome. But I just like, where are kids gonna learn it? Because you don&#39;t do TikTok dances. David: 7:30 I don&#39;t well, they probably do, but but maybe, I mean, is this just a cultural change? Is like dancing not gonna be a thing when it comes to like young, tragicable kind of yeah. I mean, it&#39;s tragic, but like, is it just a natural progression of things? Because like, I don&#39;t think people have people always danced at that age. Gavin: 7:47 I guess this is what, like for since the 1950s, huh? I mean, I suppose in 1912 Tommy and uh Ariane wanted to be able to poker to, you know, won&#39;t you Charleston with me? I was trying to make a reference to Music Man, but that didn&#39;t work. And um, so what is it so since the 50s that the rebels have been doing their own kind of thing? I don&#39;t know. It would be sad though, because God, it feels so good to just, you know, let loose, as we know. Um, but I don&#39;t know, but but that&#39;s not the case in like gay clubs and stuff. So where are those people learning to dance? David: 8:20 Well, those people are all high on Molly and looking for dick. Like, I that&#39;s it&#39;s like that&#39;s more of a like. Gavin: 8:26 But you still you&#39;re learning something seductive and you were doing a little step touch, step touch and showing whether or not you have rhythm. Ergo, are you any good in bed? David: 8:35 So I do, but I also miss that like I think gay bars are different now, like where people are dancing, like it&#39;s for like the hot fit guys with their shirts off. Like, there&#39;s no room for like the like the chubby, queer, funny. Gavin: 8:45 Oh, it depends on where you you David. When was the last time you were at a club? At the club. 1643. David: 8:53 Me and Louis V. Yeah. Um, no, I I I I have no idea. I I wouldn&#39;t I wouldn&#39;t know what to do, but I do remember in high school, like dancing on the dance floor. I was like, I was all about it. Gavin: 9:03 Ah, so fun. And it&#39;s such a loss. David: 9:05 You know what I&#39;m not all about right now? It&#39;s fucking Amazon. Oh let me tell you something about Amazon. If you don&#39;t know this, I&#39;m gonna blow some mind out there when they hear this. First of all, never get sold. We and our house, like I&#39;m sure you and your house and most houses, we have an Amazon Prime account that we don&#39;t even remember we have. We it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s you know,$100 a year or whatever to be on to be an Amazon Prime member. And then you have family members, right? So my husband has the family, the Prime account. I&#39;m a family member linked to his account, and we both can buy things, we get free shipping and you know, whatever, all those kind of things. We&#39;ve been doing this for literally decades, right? We&#39;ve been we&#39;re on this account, this family plan or whatever. Um, did you know that this year family members no longer get free shipping? That is gone. So now we have to go back to the 1600s when you have to get a order minimum to get free shipping. Now you have to have$35 worth of stuff in your cart before you get free shipping, unless you are the account holder. I buy so much shit on Amazon. I try not to. I buy, I try to spread it out to Teamu. I try to do local, but like, listen, uh, we we buy stuff at Amazon. Now I am so fucking mad about this, and I&#39;m still buying Amazon stuff. I&#39;m just buying$35 worth, but I am very mad about it, and I want other people to be mad about it. Gavin: 10:26 You should be mad about it. This is definitely a symptom, I would say, of making America, you know, MAGA because basically they&#39;re taking your rights. They are assuming that Brian is the man of the house and you&#39;re the woman who doesn&#39;t get to which may or may not be true. Should not be allowed to shop on their own without their husband&#39;s permission. I have a feeling. David: 10:45 How many hats do you need, honey? Gavin: 10:48 Yeah. You know, I actually, this doesn&#39;t surprise me in the slightest bit. I was not aware of it. Thank you for blowing all of our mind out here. And, or at least mine, since I&#39;m probably the only one listening. But um, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a bad thing because Amazon is not good. Talk about society. You&#39;re right. Amazon is not good for society, and it&#39;s not good, it&#39;s certainly not helping the kids learn how to dance at the curb. So we need, I think that um, you know, Amazon realizing that they it needs to up its prices because it is, you know, uh put everybody else out of the day. David: 11:19 They need their 75th yacht or whatever. Yeah. You know where they are learning to dance? Tell me. At our Halloween party. This Saturday. It&#39;s this Saturday one. This Saturday, four days from when you are listening, probably, unless you listen to a different day. Um, this Saturday, the 25th, we are having our Halloween, our queer family Halloween party co-hosted with the Queer Family podcast. Please, please, please come. If you love us and you don&#39;t live in Jersey. And if you don&#39;t love us and you don&#39;t live in Jersey, please come out and yell. Gavin: 11:53 Yes. Please come out and yell as. It&#39;s going to be at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is on the lower east side. It is from 4 to 6 p.m. And it&#39;s a as a reminder, it&#39;s a bar with drinks and bar food and arcade-style games. And like um, I don&#39;t know, pool and shuffleboard and all the things. It is a play place for kids of all ages, from nine months to 99. David: 12:16 I love also that you chose shuffleboard and pool as those games to pull out. Like it just shows you like you are half you are halfway to 100 at this point. Gavin: 12:25 You know the shuffleboard that&#39;s at waist level, you know, that thing that&#39;s not like old. Yeah, the little mini one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 12:30 You didn&#39;t, but you didn&#39;t mention, like I thought you were gonna mention like Pac-Man and Galaga. No, you even went further. You&#39;re like, pool. Um please come, please come see us. Please dress up. Um, I&#39;m dressing up. We had some friends we saw this weekend who were like, are you gonna wear costumes? Like, yes, we&#39;re wearing our costumes. Are you gonna pull out that onesie set that you&#39;ve been wearing for five years? Skeleton or whatever. Correct. That will be me. My husband will be in this like really great pinata costume he found. Oh. Um, and he&#39;s bringing like these like blow-up bats, and he&#39;s gonna hand them to people and they&#39;re allowed to hit him, and he throws candy in your face. Isn&#39;t that funny? You get to beat him in public. If you want to beat off my husband in public, please come to our party on Saturday, October 25th at SugarMass NYC. Please sign up on the eVite. There was a problem. Somebody reached out last week and said, uh, it says that all the tickets are sold out. We had accidentally made a limit, I think, of 100. So we took that limit off. You can go on and sign up, just so we know how many little kitty bags that we can uh bring for everyone. So that is that. Please, I cannot wait to see you. Um, I will be in my skeleton onesie. Please say hi and give me all give me all of your compliments. And if you have any issues with the podcast or me or Gaven, just please email us at GavenLodge at gmail. Gavin: 13:39 And yes, bring all the shade, please bring all the shade. Speaking of shade, oh, you know there&#39;s no good news in the world. Even here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, but I do the deep searching so that you can have a ray of light in your lives, okay? Uh, guess what? In Wyoming, a librarian stood up to folks who were trying to take away, eliminate all of the banned books, lots of them queer friendly books for kids. And that librarian was like, hell no. She...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won&apos;t dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama&apos;s BFF B]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won&apos;t dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama&apos;s BFF Bill Burton who talks to us about the state of the world today, who is secretly gay in Republican politics, and why, even amongst all the chaos, there&apos;s cause for hope. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um what are you just what are you laughing at? Oh I was just laughing at an idea I had for a top three list and it was really funny, so I thought I&#39;d I was laughing at myself for being so comedically student. SPEAKER_01: 0:15 Well, if no one else is gonna do it, you might as well. Shut up. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:36 So here at Gatriarch the Podcast, we get you know, we get DMs, we get emails, we get a lot, we don&#39;t get a lot of responses from you, but we get enough, right? And I would love more. Gavin: 0:46 We get enough that it seems like we&#39;re really neglecting our email because we&#39;re so inundated with messaging to not really make any money. David: 0:55 But I want to just give you, I think all of our messages, all of our uh listener responses fall into two categories. Uh-huh. And I&#39;m gonna read two versions of some of the responses we&#39;ve got in the past couple of months. So the first general, I feel like bucket we get responses is like nice, loving, kind of thank you emails. Gavin: 1:13 So we got When are we gonna get hate mail? I mean, not that we should want it, but remember remember a hundred episodes ago when other, say, podcasters or influencers were like, oh my god, we get so much hate, we just have to block it out. And I we were like, we don&#39;t get it. They&#39;re like, just you wait. Well, nope, we&#39;re still waiting. David: 1:31 That didn&#39;t happen. So um, we got another message from our favorite New Jerseyan. No, our favorite Jerseyan. Gavin: 1:39 I that you you need to go back and record that because how offensive. David: 1:43 I know that was really offensive. I&#39;m so sorry, Steve. Um, but he sent us another message because we mentioned him in the show and he said, Wait, let&#39;s clarify where he&#39;s from. It is not a good thing. He lives in Jersey, the country. Do you think he&#39;s not New Jersey, the state? Gavin: 1:57 The small island between France and the United Kingdom. David: 2:01 Listen, we have listener everywhere. Um, but he sent us a lovely uh email that said, Alas, I cannot attend your New York gathering. The Atlantic Ocean remains stubbornly situated between us, and I&#39;m far too sensible to swim it for a podcast meetup, even one as allegedly delightful as yours. First of all, let&#39;s talk about the cadence and the the the like the like syntax and like all the delicious words he&#39;s using. Um thank you for the shout-outs. You were impressed by yourselves. I shall listen about it from my somewhat remote Bali. Bailey Bailiwick. Bailiwick, where I remained your devotee. Do try not to let the turnout inflate your egos more than necessary. Yours from the pristine shores of Jersey, Steven. Now, that is a that is a poem. That is Shakespeare. Gavin: 2:43 And you don&#39;t really know if he&#39;s um complimenting us or utterly insulting us, but he&#39;s this is absolutely the compliment. David: 2:52 This is a lovely, flowery, poetic, beautiful message. So we I don&#39;t know. Half of our stuff is that, right? The other half. On the other hand, may I this is the kind of shit we get. This is from David Morganstern, previous guest from uh Gay Sharks, who uh runs the the the Gaddies account. Gavin: 3:11 We&#39;re trying to help him out, right? I mean, he came on our show to to tout his new line of clothing, which everybody should buy and which we have and have sported. And but this is the kind of slimy person. David: 3:24 You&#39;ve ruined the momentum of this joke. You&#39;ve totally derailed the momentum I was building to the comics. That&#39;s why I hired you, Dave. This is why you just stop talking. That&#39;s all that&#39;s all you gotta do. Okay. All right, so let&#39;s pretend like I just read the really nice email and now it&#39;s transitioning to this email. Okay. He says, My favorite part about the pod is that because you are all such messes, whenever I listen, I feel so much better about me and my life and my capabilities. You guys are so much cheaper than Lorazapam. So, and now this is where, Gavin, you would say what you had said before, which is we try to insert insert joke here. Insert joke here. Exactly. But we appreciate it though. Gavin: 4:09 And it&#39;s just the right amount of the right amount of snide cattiness that we would expect here. David: 4:15 It is, it is definitely the language we speak, and we we are not actually being shady, David. He&#39;s lovely, we love him, but it is very funny. Because this is listen, this is the tone of our show. Sometimes it&#39;s sweet, and sometimes it&#39;s caddy nonsense. And so we just want to read you some of our this is our little mailbag section. So you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 4:32 We&#39;ll definitely turn this into a t-shirt. You guys are so much cheaper than Laraza Pam. Ooh, hey, David, that is a great shirt. So this weekend, I went to a concert with my daughter. It was her Christmas present from last year. We went into New York City to see Tate McRae, which everybody there are many, it&#39;s 50-50 whether people our age even know who she is, which definitely makes us out of touch. I definitely don&#39;t. I which makes us really out of touch. Because when it really comes down to it, she is the Britney Spears of 2025 right now. She&#39;s got uh lots of top tens already. She you know more than of her than you realize. She&#39;s a major dancer. I have totally dismissed her for just being, I don&#39;t know, basic and and I can&#39;t distinguish between her music. But we were at the concert and it was, you know what? It was fun. It was fun. She the dancing was great. Um, she really brought a show. And at one point during the concert, she goes, you know, everybody, uh, I&#39;m getting older this year, and it&#39;s just crazy how things are just passing by us so quickly. When I turned 22, and there wasn&#39;t quite enough of a sigh or gasp from the audience. So you knew. She really did. This is a song that I wrote with many years ago when I was so much younger. When I was 17, I thought, oh my God. Um, it&#39;s hard to take it seriously, even though she&#39;s being totally, you know, she you do grow a lot between 17 and 22, without a doubt. Anyway, my point is my kids don&#39;t know how to dance. And that goes for also my son who had a middle school dance a couple of weeks ago. And I asked him, Did you have fun? He&#39;s like, no. I said, why not? He said, well, we just run around the school. And I&#39;m like, but don&#39;t you dance? He said, no, who does that? And I&#39;m thought, I mean, I have not had eyes on a middle school dance or a high school dance for that matter, but I&#39;ve asked some high schoolers around also, do people dance at your homecoming? Do people dance at your prom? And the answer is really kind of not really. And I think this is a travesty of social media. David: 6:38 You don&#39;t mean they don&#39;t have the skills to dance. You mean that it is not culturally that they don&#39;t dance at these functions. Oh. Gavin: 6:44 And you know what? I think it&#39;s because they don&#39;t have Club MTV. Now I know you are much younger than I am, David. Much I don&#39;t even know what you&#39;re talking about. When I was in middle school, I watched Club MTV after school, three o&#39;clock in the afternoon. It was live from, like, I don&#39;t know, the palladium in New York or London or something like that, hosted by downtown Julie Brown, whoa, whoa, whoa, but goodbye, God bless. Um, if you know, you know. And but I would watch people dance socially on TV. And I absolutely would practice moves that I watched and had to do it quickly because you couldn&#39;t rewind. It wasn&#39;t in 15-second increments or anything. And they would have live performances by Paul Abdul and you&#39;re welcome. But I just like, where are kids gonna learn it? Because you don&#39;t do TikTok dances. David: 7:30 I don&#39;t well, they probably do, but but maybe, I mean, is this just a cultural change? Is like dancing not gonna be a thing when it comes to like young, tragicable kind of yeah. I mean, it&#39;s tragic, but like, is it just a natural progression of things? Because like, I don&#39;t think people have people always danced at that age. Gavin: 7:47 I guess this is what, like for since the 1950s, huh? I mean, I suppose in 1912 Tommy and uh Ariane wanted to be able to poker to, you know, won&#39;t you Charleston with me? I was trying to make a reference to Music Man, but that didn&#39;t work. And um, so what is it so since the 50s that the rebels have been doing their own kind of thing? I don&#39;t know. It would be sad though, because God, it feels so good to just, you know, let loose, as we know. Um, but I don&#39;t know, but but that&#39;s not the case in like gay clubs and stuff. So where are those people learning to dance? David: 8:20 Well, those people are all high on Molly and looking for dick. Like, I that&#39;s it&#39;s like that&#39;s more of a like. Gavin: 8:26 But you still you&#39;re learning something seductive and you were doing a little step touch, step touch and showing whether or not you have rhythm. Ergo, are you any good in bed? David: 8:35 So I do, but I also miss that like I think gay bars are different now, like where people are dancing, like it&#39;s for like the hot fit guys with their shirts off. Like, there&#39;s no room for like the like the chubby, queer, funny. Gavin: 8:45 Oh, it depends on where you you David. When was the last time you were at a club? At the club. 1643. David: 8:53 Me and Louis V. Yeah. Um, no, I I I I have no idea. I I wouldn&#39;t I wouldn&#39;t know what to do, but I do remember in high school, like dancing on the dance floor. I was like, I was all about it. Gavin: 9:03 Ah, so fun. And it&#39;s such a loss. David: 9:05 You know what I&#39;m not all about right now? It&#39;s fucking Amazon. Oh let me tell you something about Amazon. If you don&#39;t know this, I&#39;m gonna blow some mind out there when they hear this. First of all, never get sold. We and our house, like I&#39;m sure you and your house and most houses, we have an Amazon Prime account that we don&#39;t even remember we have. We it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s you know,$100 a year or whatever to be on to be an Amazon Prime member. And then you have family members, right? So my husband has the family, the Prime account. I&#39;m a family member linked to his account, and we both can buy things, we get free shipping and you know, whatever, all those kind of things. We&#39;ve been doing this for literally decades, right? We&#39;ve been we&#39;re on this account, this family plan or whatever. Um, did you know that this year family members no longer get free shipping? That is gone. So now we have to go back to the 1600s when you have to get a order minimum to get free shipping. Now you have to have$35 worth of stuff in your cart before you get free shipping, unless you are the account holder. I buy so much shit on Amazon. I try not to. I buy, I try to spread it out to Teamu. I try to do local, but like, listen, uh, we we buy stuff at Amazon. Now I am so fucking mad about this, and I&#39;m still buying Amazon stuff. I&#39;m just buying$35 worth, but I am very mad about it, and I want other people to be mad about it. Gavin: 10:26 You should be mad about it. This is definitely a symptom, I would say, of making America, you know, MAGA because basically they&#39;re taking your rights. They are assuming that Brian is the man of the house and you&#39;re the woman who doesn&#39;t get to which may or may not be true. Should not be allowed to shop on their own without their husband&#39;s permission. I have a feeling. David: 10:45 How many hats do you need, honey? Gavin: 10:48 Yeah. You know, I actually, this doesn&#39;t surprise me in the slightest bit. I was not aware of it. Thank you for blowing all of our mind out here. And, or at least mine, since I&#39;m probably the only one listening. But um, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a bad thing because Amazon is not good. Talk about society. You&#39;re right. Amazon is not good for society, and it&#39;s not good, it&#39;s certainly not helping the kids learn how to dance at the curb. So we need, I think that um, you know, Amazon realizing that they it needs to up its prices because it is, you know, uh put everybody else out of the day. David: 11:19 They need their 75th yacht or whatever. Yeah. You know where they are learning to dance? Tell me. At our Halloween party. This Saturday. It&#39;s this Saturday one. This Saturday, four days from when you are listening, probably, unless you listen to a different day. Um, this Saturday, the 25th, we are having our Halloween, our queer family Halloween party co-hosted with the Queer Family podcast. Please, please, please come. If you love us and you don&#39;t live in Jersey. And if you don&#39;t love us and you don&#39;t live in Jersey, please come out and yell. Gavin: 11:53 Yes. Please come out and yell as. It&#39;s going to be at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is on the lower east side. It is from 4 to 6 p.m. And it&#39;s a as a reminder, it&#39;s a bar with drinks and bar food and arcade-style games. And like um, I don&#39;t know, pool and shuffleboard and all the things. It is a play place for kids of all ages, from nine months to 99. David: 12:16 I love also that you chose shuffleboard and pool as those games to pull out. Like it just shows you like you are half you are halfway to 100 at this point. Gavin: 12:25 You know the shuffleboard that&#39;s at waist level, you know, that thing that&#39;s not like old. Yeah, the little mini one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 12:30 You didn&#39;t, but you didn&#39;t mention, like I thought you were gonna mention like Pac-Man and Galaga. No, you even went further. You&#39;re like, pool. Um please come, please come see us. Please dress up. Um, I&#39;m dressing up. We had some friends we saw this weekend who were like, are you gonna wear costumes? Like, yes, we&#39;re wearing our costumes. Are you gonna pull out that onesie set that you&#39;ve been wearing for five years? Skeleton or whatever. Correct. That will be me. My husband will be in this like really great pinata costume he found. Oh. Um, and he&#39;s bringing like these like blow-up bats, and he&#39;s gonna hand them to people and they&#39;re allowed to hit him, and he throws candy in your face. Isn&#39;t that funny? You get to beat him in public. If you want to beat off my husband in public, please come to our party on Saturday, October 25th at SugarMass NYC. Please sign up on the eVite. There was a problem. Somebody reached out last week and said, uh, it says that all the tickets are sold out. We had accidentally made a limit, I think, of 100. So we took that limit off. You can go on and sign up, just so we know how many little kitty bags that we can uh bring for everyone. So that is that. Please, I cannot wait to see you. Um, I will be in my skeleton onesie. Please say hi and give me all give me all of your compliments. And if you have any issues with the podcast or me or Gaven, just please email us at GavenLodge at gmail. Gavin: 13:39 And yes, bring all the shade, please bring all the shade. Speaking of shade, oh, you know there&#39;s no good news in the world. Even here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, but I do the deep searching so that you can have a ray of light in your lives, okay? Uh, guess what? In Wyoming, a librarian stood up to folks who were trying to take away, eliminate all of the banned books, lots of them queer friendly books for kids. And that librarian was like, hell no. She...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won&apos;t dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama&apos;s BFF Bill Burton who talks to us about the state of the world today, who is secretly gay in Republican politics, and why, even amongst all the chaos, there&apos;s cause for hope. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um what are you just what are you laughing at? Oh I was just laughing at an idea I had for a top three list and it was really funny, so I thought I&#39;d I was laughing at myself for being so comedically student. SPEAKER_01: 0:15 Well, if no one else is gonna do it, you might as well. Shut up. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:36 So here at Gatriarch the Podcast, we get you know, we get DMs, we get emails, we get a lot, we don&#39;t get a lot of responses from you, but we get enough, right? And I would love more. Gavin: 0:46 We get enough that it seems like we&#39;re really neglecting our email because we&#39;re so inundated with messaging to not really make any money. David: 0:55 But I want to just give you, I think all of our messages, all of our uh listener responses fall into two categories. Uh-huh. And I&#39;m gonna read two versions of some of the responses we&#39;ve got in the past couple of months. So the first general, I feel like bucket we get responses is like nice, loving, kind of thank you emails. Gavin: 1:13 So we got When are we gonna get hate mail? I mean, not that we should want it, but remember remember a hundred episodes ago when other, say, podcasters or influencers were like, oh my god, we get so much hate, we just have to block it out. And I we were like, we don&#39;t get it. They&#39;re like, just you wait. Well, nope, we&#39;re still waiting. David: 1:31 That didn&#39;t happen. So um, we got another message from our favorite New Jerseyan. No, our favorite Jerseyan. Gavin: 1:39 I that you you need to go back and record that because how offensive. David: 1:43 I know that was really offensive. I&#39;m so sorry, Steve. Um, but he sent us another message because we mentioned him in the show and he said, Wait, let&#39;s clarify where he&#39;s from. It is not a good thing. He lives in Jersey, the country. Do you think he&#39;s not New Jersey, the state? Gavin: 1:57 The small island between France and the United Kingdom. David: 2:01 Listen, we have listener everywhere. Um, but he sent us a lovely uh email that said, Alas, I cannot attend your New York gathering. The Atlantic Ocean remains stubbornly situated between us, and I&#39;m far too sensible to swim it for a podcast meetup, even one as allegedly delightful as yours. First of all, let&#39;s talk about the cadence and the the the like the like syntax and like all the delicious words he&#39;s using. Um thank you for the shout-outs. You were impressed by yourselves. I shall listen about it from my somewhat remote Bali. Bailey Bailiwick. Bailiwick, where I remained your devotee. Do try not to let the turnout inflate your egos more than necessary. Yours from the pristine shores of Jersey, Steven. Now, that is a that is a poem. That is Shakespeare. Gavin: 2:43 And you don&#39;t really know if he&#39;s um complimenting us or utterly insulting us, but he&#39;s this is absolutely the compliment. David: 2:52 This is a lovely, flowery, poetic, beautiful message. So we I don&#39;t know. Half of our stuff is that, right? The other half. On the other hand, may I this is the kind of shit we get. This is from David Morganstern, previous guest from uh Gay Sharks, who uh runs the the the Gaddies account. Gavin: 3:11 We&#39;re trying to help him out, right? I mean, he came on our show to to tout his new line of clothing, which everybody should buy and which we have and have sported. And but this is th]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won&apos;t dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama&apos;s BFF Bill Burton who talks to us about the state of the world today, who is secretly gay in Republican politics, and why, even amongst all the chaos, there&apos;s cause for hope. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um what are you just what are you laughing at? Oh I was just laughing at an idea I had for a top three list and it was really funny, so I thought I&#39;d I was laughing at myself for being so comedically student. SPEAKER_01: 0:15 Well, if no one else is gonna do it, you might as well. Shut up. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:36 So here at Gatriarch the Podcast, we get you know, we get DMs, we get emails, we get]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Eureka O&#8217;Hara &#038; Dan Poblocki</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-eureka-ohara-dan-poblocki/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Oct 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin&apos;s son is a liar, we drool over David&apos;s favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O&apos;Hara and Dan Poblocki who are here to talk about their new book &#34;Jackson Bright in the Spotlight,&#34; dish on Eureka&apos;s new Divine project, and chat about how Dan knows 6 year olds better than we do by having written David&apos;s sons new favorite book, &#34;My Brother&apos;s Butt is Haunted.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You ready? I&#39;m so I&#39;m born ready. David, I&#39;m sorry that I was late today. SPEAKER_05: 0:07 It&#39;s okay. Gavin: 0:07 Uh I was on the phone with a um my kids&#39; math teacher, and he it might be Wait, we&#39;re not recording, right? You&#39;re just talking to me. David: 0:14 Oh, I thought we were. We no, we are recording, but like I definitely want to start with my story because it&#39;s oh like it&#39;s well by all means. Gavin: 0:21 Oh, then you&#39;re by all means, take control, daddy. And this is gig three art. David: 0:42 So we know my daughter&#39;s a challenge, but this morning she woke up and she was like, Come cuddle with me in bed. And so I was cuddling with her in bed, and it was all very sweet. And today is Friday. The when we&#39;re recording, this is Friday, and it&#39;s their show and tell, and it&#39;s letter O. So we&#39;re like, What could we do? I said, What could we do for letter O? What would what would it be? And she&#39;s laying there and she&#39;s thinking, and then she rolls her little body over to me and she says, Auschwitz. Gavin: 1:11 I&#39;m so sorry that your stupid daughter doesn&#39;t know how to spell Auschwitz, but I said, I&#39;m sorry, honey. David: 1:17 I I misheard you. What did you say? She said, Auschwitz. I said, Honey, are you sure what what what she goes, uh Auschwitz, the the big bird. I said, Oh, ostrich. Ausrich is the word you meant. She goes, Yes, that&#39;s what I said. I said, Well, your honor, if you&#39;ll check the tape, you said Auschwitz, which was a very different show and tell. So um that&#39;s how I woke up this morning. Gavin: 1:48 That I mean, hey, talk about like the smell of napalm in the morning, just a little Holocaust here. Oh my god. That&#39;s really great. That&#39;s really, really, really great. Yeah, how&#39;d you wake up this morning? I mean, it with the doomed feeling that my kids would only be at school for about 15 minutes because it&#39;s a damn half day. David: 2:09 Who invented half days? Every day&#39;s a half day or a day off, or a teacher holiday, or a pancake day or whatever. Or pancake day or something like that. Gavin: 2:17 Oh, those teachers, they just never work hard enough, do they? Just always get in half. And they&#39;re paid too much. They&#39;re paid too much. They are paid too much, and they really do nothing for our children, for our society. Anyway, it&#39;s a half day, and that uh, of course, drives me uh pretty bonkers. But I was late here coming to our recording because I was on the phone with my son&#39;s math teacher because he um he for the very first time, I&#39;ve never seen him actually work hard at studying anything. Most things come easy to him, like memorizing the amount of exhaust pipes on a car. It&#39;s a weird, it&#39;s a thing. He knows how many exhaust pipes are. He knows every single car in the highway. Yeah, he knows every single car in the highway from very far away from a Nissan to a DeLorean. And he knows soccer, right? He knows sports, he gets it. Anyway, he finally studied really hard for a test the other day, ended up getting a C. Now I&#39;m like, okay, well, like, why&#39;d you get a C what happened, dude? And he&#39;s like, well, she gave us the wrong thing to study, and then she gave us a wrong the completely different test. And I&#39;m like, speaking of, okay, Your Honor, I&#39;m gonna need to verify this. And um, so the teacher was just on the phone with me, and that&#39;s why I was late here. But she was able to say, he just like rushed through it, and he he just he&#39;s an A student and he just kind of has C&#39;s on tests because he rushes through it, kind of thing. But I&#39;m like, so that whole business about him studying the wrong thing, he&#39;s lying. He is lying, he&#39;s lying to me. He is lying, yeah, he&#39;s a little liar, he wants to sugarcoat situation, he doesn&#39;t want to look like he&#39;s irresponsible, et cetera, et cetera. He&#39;s just lying, dude. David: 3:58 He&#39;s just and he&#39;s bad at it, which is hilarious because do you remember when you were that age and you were like, I&#39;m gonna lie to my parents, I&#39;m gonna get so I&#39;m gonna be, they&#39;re not even gonna know. Now we know what we look like when we lied. We look like a bunch of assholes. Gavin: 4:11 But you know what? I gotta say, I got away with a lot as a kid, and I do think it&#39;s because I&#39;ve an only child. So there wasn&#39;t anybody to throw me under the bus. I it just everything that I did, I got away with a lot of white lies. Lots. David: 4:28 And that&#39;s not just because you are white, it&#39;s because the lies were white. But wait, speaking of call calls from your teacher, I&#39;m not done with my daughter yet. I got also got a call from my daughter&#39;s teacher. Gavin: 4:41 It is only 11 o&#39;clock. Oh, okay. David: 4:43 No, no, no, the other day. Keep in mind she&#39;s in pre-K3. She&#39;s in the lowest level of lowest levels, right? Lowest stakes. Absolutely. I get like a serious hushed tone call. And I&#39;m like, okay, shit, or like she&#39;s lost an arm. Like what what they&#39;ve they they can&#39;t find her, like what is like the big deal? And she said, Well, I just wanted to let you know that um And and again, I feel like she&#39;s telling me a cancer diagnosis. She&#39;s like, I just want to let you know that Hannah, um, she showed her butt to another student today. I said, I&#39;m sorry, she what? Well, she she she she pulled her her pants down on the side and she showed another student her butt. And I just want to let you know that we&#39;ve already called the other parents and we&#39;ve had a conversation with them. Oh, and we&#39;ve written up our like no, they were it was like they were literally it was insane. Gavin: 5:35 It was like she had made a comment about the Holocaust, she had made an anti-Semitic comment in class. Correct. David: 5:41 So all these things are connected, but I actually know what happened. She has like a pimple on her butt that&#39;s that&#39;s become her entire personality. She&#39;s like, Daddy, my pimple, my pimple, that&#39;s all she I can&#39;t sit, I can&#39;t do anything, right? So I know what she was doing. She&#39;s probably telling another kid, and the kid&#39;s like, what are you talking about? And she&#39;s like, Look, look at my pimple. But it was so funny, it was like there was like political unrest in Uganda, and like it was it was crazy. And I was like, Okay, this needed a massive intervention, but like hushed tones on a preschool teacher. I do so my your child is a liar, and my child is a sexual predator and a fan of the Holocaust, evidently. Gavin: 6:23 So oh, that&#39;s hilarious. Um, so it is uh speaking of sort of um all of those things that are both demonic and dark and funny. I was weird. I was wondering how you were gonna connect this. I was written actually, you did you did pretty good. As if we haven&#39;t made it clear enough, do not forget that this Saturday, October 25th. A Saturday from this Saturday. Oh, I thought. Oops. Oh, great. You&#39;re gonna edit that part out, right? David: 6:50 Oh, hell no. This is stinging. And I want people to know what day it is Cave and Lodge. Gavin: 6:55 We are recording this April 11th. And how am I supposed to know what Saturday in October we&#39;re having this Halloween? David: 7:02 Saturday, October 25th, because today is October 15th, as it says in the online. Gavin: 7:10 So from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is hey, a bar, uh, a hangout place for children young and old. David: 7:20 Those who you actually said it in a really well lovely way. You said it&#39;s kind of like a small Dave in Busters. So it&#39;s kind of got that vibe where it&#39;s like a bar and they have some like bar food, but they also have tons of arcade games and video walls and yeah. And it&#39;s gonna be awesome. Um, also, I want to make sure that if you are gonna go, please sign up on our evite link. That&#39;s just so we know how many like goodie bags and stuff to prepare. I think we already have like 80 people signed up, which is awesome. Yeah. So um, we really want to see you there um again, Saturday, October 25th from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC. And I&#39;m so sorry to all of our listeners who do not live in New York City. You&#39;re already mad at us. I know you are. I can hear you from Jersey, the country, being mad that we are not doing something there. Um, we will someday I will probably be living in a different country, so we can start doing stuff there. Gavin: 8:06 And it&#39;ll be fun, even at some point, bringing us out to places like Chicago, as long as you don&#39;t have, you know, un civil unrest and military uh occupation. But anyway, it&#39;s not this Saturday, it&#39;s next Saturday, unless you&#39;re listening to this to this podcast the week of October, 25th, 24th, 23rd, 22nd, 24th, 19th. Jesus. Anyway, uh speaking of absolutely nothing, um, there is no good news in the world, right? Zero. Never. But guess what? Because we are America&#39;s finest news source, I do my best to seek out the good news out there. Okay. There is a TikTok um slash Instagram influencer slash, frankly, journalist who is um a fantastic trans woman known as Erin in the morning. And she usually brings a lot of bad news. Just a lot, a lot, a lot of bad news. But she brought some good news the other day, and she actually said, This gives me hope. Remember a year ago, um, there was a Supreme Court decision that um allowed a Maryland school district to let parents opt out of all books that are queer related. Remember that story? And unfortunately it passed. And um giving everybody the ability to frankly opt out of pretty much anything they want. And a lot of doomsdayers were like, oh, but this is gonna be such chaos because, you know, what if liberal parents want to opt out of parents uh books that are too, say, heteronormative, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, the fact is, the law was passed, um, the ruling was passed down, and in a school district of about 650,000 people this year, guess how many parents opted out of any queer-related books for their children? 43. Point being 0.03%. This is glass half full.03% of the parents give a flying fuck. And they&#39;re like, teachers, read what you&#39;re gonna do and expand my children&#39;s entire brains and capacity for understanding the human condition, and only 0.03% um uh opted out. Now, those idiots, those idiots obviously can just go fuck themselves. But the this gives us hope that ultimately, you know, it&#39;s the loudest, it&#39;s the smallest contingent that scream the loudest, and ultimately the rest of us are like, we&#39;re just trying to do our best to get by in the world. So it&#39;s just and we need these teachers to spend their time helping Gabin&#39;s kid not be a liar. David: 10:32 Yeah, is really what we need them to be focusing their time on. Also, I mean, this is this is always the thing. It&#39;s like the less than 1% is the is it the oh trans women in sports? There&#39;s like three of them. So everyone fucking relax. Gavin: 10:43 Yeah, exactly. Everybody just calm the hell down. Um, also, you know what? It&#39;s time to celebrate a Dilf of the week. Um I love a Dilf. Do you know the name? And do you know who he is, David Harbour? Um, I&#39;m literally Googling it right now because he&#39;s the guy Oh, yeah, oh my god. I know why have we not had him as our Dilf of the Week recently? Well, you know what? We have we need we need to grow into people once in a while, you know. Now, David Harbour is not technically gay. I mean, uh, he&#39;s married to a woman. Yeah, but who knows what his proclivities are. But he has declared himself part of the daddy verse, according to Out magazine. David: 11:19 Meaning he&#39;s just trying to jump onto like Pedro Pascal&#39;s like wag, like one is as straight as they come, even though he plays, but you know what I mean? Like David is like, maybe I could pretend to be queer. Gavin: 11:29 Yeah, fine, that&#39;s fine. Everybody can just it aspiring to be Pedro Pascal is a really, really good thing. So David Harbour is definitely a doff of the week. He is married. David: 11:38 For those of you out there who don&#39;t know who he is, he is he is the he is the the cop from Stranger Things. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Gavin: 11:44 And he&#39;s also he did a really great Santa Claus movie last year. I mean super violent, but hilarious scampy. It was so and he was sexy in it. He had to take off his Santa pseudo. David: 11:55 So sexy sexy, yeah, and like he has had a variety of body shapes and all of them for me. Every single like and I have a ranking list. Maybe this can be our top three, like butt David Harbor bodies. But he is yes, uh Gabon, this is the best deal for the week you&#39;ve ever had. Gavin: 12:14 I&#39;m gonna also actually I&#39;m gonna send to you the article that I referenced for this, actually. And he&#39;s 50, just like you, and he went to Dartmouth. I mean, no idiot. David: 12:24 That&#39;s smart, hot, and old. Gavin: 12:27 There&#39;s a picture. Uh you know what? I&#39;m gonna send this offline and I&#39;ll probably repost it and get us sued, and that would be great because we could use the attention of the picture of him in a skirt leaning back on um a couch in Out magazine. And that&#39;s the article that said he&#39;s part of the daddy verse and he&#39;s happy to be there. Also, he is a dad, he&#39;s not a biological dad, but he has two stepchildren with his wife, and that&#39;s just what kind of makes me say, oh, good for you even more, right? So, Dilf of the Week, David Harbour. You know what&#39;s not quite as hot as our dilf of the week? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:04 I was gonna do like what doesn&#39;t make you say aw or something like that. But anyway, what is our top three list this week, David? Gavin: 13:11 It is the top three fall candles since. So this one was my uh uh topic this week. And uh part of this is I suppose just um maybe it&#39;s product placement. That&#39;s fine. I&#39;m fine with that. I have um cheap but expensive smelling candles from something called Maison Louis Marie, and believe me, they were not expensive. They were these are not Henry Bend Bendel. Is that what his name is? Henry Bendel. Um but they I don&#39;t know. David: 13:38 You&#39;re talking to a white barn girly. Like I&#39;m the cheapest of cheap. Oh, you&#39;re right. I&#39;ll buy a Walmart candle and a hard. Gavin: 13:44 Okay, so but but these are affordable, these aren&#39;t like hundred dollar candles, right? They smell like hundred dollar candles. So anyway, Maison Louis Marie, trust me, as pretentious as this is gonna sound, they are fantastic. Number three for me is the bois. David: 13:59 Oh my god. Already you&#39;ve set yourself up for failure, Gavin. You have you&#39;re trying to be a man of the people and talk about how, like, oh, these aren&#39;t expensive. You&#39;re speaking in French, Gavin. Gavin: 14:12 Woods of Balancourt. That&#39;s we&#39;re just gonna leave it at that. Woods of Balancourt. Oh trust me, Maison Louis Marie. It is cheap, but smells expensive. David: 14:26 Oh my god, Gaven. Just a man for people. Gavin: 14:29 Okay, but another another candle um is um actually just leather, and I and I&#39;m like, okay, of Maison Louis Marie, and it does smell leathery. That is my number two favorite, and it is so Gavin is into leather. David: 14:43 That is the title of the And I&#39;m into leather. Gavin: 14:45...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin&apos;s son is a liar, we drool over David&apos;s favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O&apos;Hara and Dan Po]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin&apos;s son is a liar, we drool over David&apos;s favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O&apos;Hara and Dan Poblocki who are here to talk about their new book &#34;Jackson Bright in the Spotlight,&#34; dish on Eureka&apos;s new Divine project, and chat about how Dan knows 6 year olds better than we do by having written David&apos;s sons new favorite book, &#34;My Brother&apos;s Butt is Haunted.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You ready? I&#39;m so I&#39;m born ready. David, I&#39;m sorry that I was late today. SPEAKER_05: 0:07 It&#39;s okay. Gavin: 0:07 Uh I was on the phone with a um my kids&#39; math teacher, and he it might be Wait, we&#39;re not recording, right? You&#39;re just talking to me. David: 0:14 Oh, I thought we were. We no, we are recording, but like I definitely want to start with my story because it&#39;s oh like it&#39;s well by all means. Gavin: 0:21 Oh, then you&#39;re by all means, take control, daddy. And this is gig three art. David: 0:42 So we know my daughter&#39;s a challenge, but this morning she woke up and she was like, Come cuddle with me in bed. And so I was cuddling with her in bed, and it was all very sweet. And today is Friday. The when we&#39;re recording, this is Friday, and it&#39;s their show and tell, and it&#39;s letter O. So we&#39;re like, What could we do? I said, What could we do for letter O? What would what would it be? And she&#39;s laying there and she&#39;s thinking, and then she rolls her little body over to me and she says, Auschwitz. Gavin: 1:11 I&#39;m so sorry that your stupid daughter doesn&#39;t know how to spell Auschwitz, but I said, I&#39;m sorry, honey. David: 1:17 I I misheard you. What did you say? She said, Auschwitz. I said, Honey, are you sure what what what she goes, uh Auschwitz, the the big bird. I said, Oh, ostrich. Ausrich is the word you meant. She goes, Yes, that&#39;s what I said. I said, Well, your honor, if you&#39;ll check the tape, you said Auschwitz, which was a very different show and tell. So um that&#39;s how I woke up this morning. Gavin: 1:48 That I mean, hey, talk about like the smell of napalm in the morning, just a little Holocaust here. Oh my god. That&#39;s really great. That&#39;s really, really, really great. Yeah, how&#39;d you wake up this morning? I mean, it with the doomed feeling that my kids would only be at school for about 15 minutes because it&#39;s a damn half day. David: 2:09 Who invented half days? Every day&#39;s a half day or a day off, or a teacher holiday, or a pancake day or whatever. Or pancake day or something like that. Gavin: 2:17 Oh, those teachers, they just never work hard enough, do they? Just always get in half. And they&#39;re paid too much. They&#39;re paid too much. They are paid too much, and they really do nothing for our children, for our society. Anyway, it&#39;s a half day, and that uh, of course, drives me uh pretty bonkers. But I was late here coming to our recording because I was on the phone with my son&#39;s math teacher because he um he for the very first time, I&#39;ve never seen him actually work hard at studying anything. Most things come easy to him, like memorizing the amount of exhaust pipes on a car. It&#39;s a weird, it&#39;s a thing. He knows how many exhaust pipes are. He knows every single car in the highway. Yeah, he knows every single car in the highway from very far away from a Nissan to a DeLorean. And he knows soccer, right? He knows sports, he gets it. Anyway, he finally studied really hard for a test the other day, ended up getting a C. Now I&#39;m like, okay, well, like, why&#39;d you get a C what happened, dude? And he&#39;s like, well, she gave us the wrong thing to study, and then she gave us a wrong the completely different test. And I&#39;m like, speaking of, okay, Your Honor, I&#39;m gonna need to verify this. And um, so the teacher was just on the phone with me, and that&#39;s why I was late here. But she was able to say, he just like rushed through it, and he he just he&#39;s an A student and he just kind of has C&#39;s on tests because he rushes through it, kind of thing. But I&#39;m like, so that whole business about him studying the wrong thing, he&#39;s lying. He is lying, he&#39;s lying to me. He is lying, yeah, he&#39;s a little liar, he wants to sugarcoat situation, he doesn&#39;t want to look like he&#39;s irresponsible, et cetera, et cetera. He&#39;s just lying, dude. David: 3:58 He&#39;s just and he&#39;s bad at it, which is hilarious because do you remember when you were that age and you were like, I&#39;m gonna lie to my parents, I&#39;m gonna get so I&#39;m gonna be, they&#39;re not even gonna know. Now we know what we look like when we lied. We look like a bunch of assholes. Gavin: 4:11 But you know what? I gotta say, I got away with a lot as a kid, and I do think it&#39;s because I&#39;ve an only child. So there wasn&#39;t anybody to throw me under the bus. I it just everything that I did, I got away with a lot of white lies. Lots. David: 4:28 And that&#39;s not just because you are white, it&#39;s because the lies were white. But wait, speaking of call calls from your teacher, I&#39;m not done with my daughter yet. I got also got a call from my daughter&#39;s teacher. Gavin: 4:41 It is only 11 o&#39;clock. Oh, okay. David: 4:43 No, no, no, the other day. Keep in mind she&#39;s in pre-K3. She&#39;s in the lowest level of lowest levels, right? Lowest stakes. Absolutely. I get like a serious hushed tone call. And I&#39;m like, okay, shit, or like she&#39;s lost an arm. Like what what they&#39;ve they they can&#39;t find her, like what is like the big deal? And she said, Well, I just wanted to let you know that um And and again, I feel like she&#39;s telling me a cancer diagnosis. She&#39;s like, I just want to let you know that Hannah, um, she showed her butt to another student today. I said, I&#39;m sorry, she what? Well, she she she she pulled her her pants down on the side and she showed another student her butt. And I just want to let you know that we&#39;ve already called the other parents and we&#39;ve had a conversation with them. Oh, and we&#39;ve written up our like no, they were it was like they were literally it was insane. Gavin: 5:35 It was like she had made a comment about the Holocaust, she had made an anti-Semitic comment in class. Correct. David: 5:41 So all these things are connected, but I actually know what happened. She has like a pimple on her butt that&#39;s that&#39;s become her entire personality. She&#39;s like, Daddy, my pimple, my pimple, that&#39;s all she I can&#39;t sit, I can&#39;t do anything, right? So I know what she was doing. She&#39;s probably telling another kid, and the kid&#39;s like, what are you talking about? And she&#39;s like, Look, look at my pimple. But it was so funny, it was like there was like political unrest in Uganda, and like it was it was crazy. And I was like, Okay, this needed a massive intervention, but like hushed tones on a preschool teacher. I do so my your child is a liar, and my child is a sexual predator and a fan of the Holocaust, evidently. Gavin: 6:23 So oh, that&#39;s hilarious. Um, so it is uh speaking of sort of um all of those things that are both demonic and dark and funny. I was weird. I was wondering how you were gonna connect this. I was written actually, you did you did pretty good. As if we haven&#39;t made it clear enough, do not forget that this Saturday, October 25th. A Saturday from this Saturday. Oh, I thought. Oops. Oh, great. You&#39;re gonna edit that part out, right? David: 6:50 Oh, hell no. This is stinging. And I want people to know what day it is Cave and Lodge. Gavin: 6:55 We are recording this April 11th. And how am I supposed to know what Saturday in October we&#39;re having this Halloween? David: 7:02 Saturday, October 25th, because today is October 15th, as it says in the online. Gavin: 7:10 So from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is hey, a bar, uh, a hangout place for children young and old. David: 7:20 Those who you actually said it in a really well lovely way. You said it&#39;s kind of like a small Dave in Busters. So it&#39;s kind of got that vibe where it&#39;s like a bar and they have some like bar food, but they also have tons of arcade games and video walls and yeah. And it&#39;s gonna be awesome. Um, also, I want to make sure that if you are gonna go, please sign up on our evite link. That&#39;s just so we know how many like goodie bags and stuff to prepare. I think we already have like 80 people signed up, which is awesome. Yeah. So um, we really want to see you there um again, Saturday, October 25th from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC. And I&#39;m so sorry to all of our listeners who do not live in New York City. You&#39;re already mad at us. I know you are. I can hear you from Jersey, the country, being mad that we are not doing something there. Um, we will someday I will probably be living in a different country, so we can start doing stuff there. Gavin: 8:06 And it&#39;ll be fun, even at some point, bringing us out to places like Chicago, as long as you don&#39;t have, you know, un civil unrest and military uh occupation. But anyway, it&#39;s not this Saturday, it&#39;s next Saturday, unless you&#39;re listening to this to this podcast the week of October, 25th, 24th, 23rd, 22nd, 24th, 19th. Jesus. Anyway, uh speaking of absolutely nothing, um, there is no good news in the world, right? Zero. Never. But guess what? Because we are America&#39;s finest news source, I do my best to seek out the good news out there. Okay. There is a TikTok um slash Instagram influencer slash, frankly, journalist who is um a fantastic trans woman known as Erin in the morning. And she usually brings a lot of bad news. Just a lot, a lot, a lot of bad news. But she brought some good news the other day, and she actually said, This gives me hope. Remember a year ago, um, there was a Supreme Court decision that um allowed a Maryland school district to let parents opt out of all books that are queer related. Remember that story? And unfortunately it passed. And um giving everybody the ability to frankly opt out of pretty much anything they want. And a lot of doomsdayers were like, oh, but this is gonna be such chaos because, you know, what if liberal parents want to opt out of parents uh books that are too, say, heteronormative, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, the fact is, the law was passed, um, the ruling was passed down, and in a school district of about 650,000 people this year, guess how many parents opted out of any queer-related books for their children? 43. Point being 0.03%. This is glass half full.03% of the parents give a flying fuck. And they&#39;re like, teachers, read what you&#39;re gonna do and expand my children&#39;s entire brains and capacity for understanding the human condition, and only 0.03% um uh opted out. Now, those idiots, those idiots obviously can just go fuck themselves. But the this gives us hope that ultimately, you know, it&#39;s the loudest, it&#39;s the smallest contingent that scream the loudest, and ultimately the rest of us are like, we&#39;re just trying to do our best to get by in the world. So it&#39;s just and we need these teachers to spend their time helping Gabin&#39;s kid not be a liar. David: 10:32 Yeah, is really what we need them to be focusing their time on. Also, I mean, this is this is always the thing. It&#39;s like the less than 1% is the is it the oh trans women in sports? There&#39;s like three of them. So everyone fucking relax. Gavin: 10:43 Yeah, exactly. Everybody just calm the hell down. Um, also, you know what? It&#39;s time to celebrate a Dilf of the week. Um I love a Dilf. Do you know the name? And do you know who he is, David Harbour? Um, I&#39;m literally Googling it right now because he&#39;s the guy Oh, yeah, oh my god. I know why have we not had him as our Dilf of the Week recently? Well, you know what? We have we need we need to grow into people once in a while, you know. Now, David Harbour is not technically gay. I mean, uh, he&#39;s married to a woman. Yeah, but who knows what his proclivities are. But he has declared himself part of the daddy verse, according to Out magazine. David: 11:19 Meaning he&#39;s just trying to jump onto like Pedro Pascal&#39;s like wag, like one is as straight as they come, even though he plays, but you know what I mean? Like David is like, maybe I could pretend to be queer. Gavin: 11:29 Yeah, fine, that&#39;s fine. Everybody can just it aspiring to be Pedro Pascal is a really, really good thing. So David Harbour is definitely a doff of the week. He is married. David: 11:38 For those of you out there who don&#39;t know who he is, he is he is the he is the the cop from Stranger Things. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Gavin: 11:44 And he&#39;s also he did a really great Santa Claus movie last year. I mean super violent, but hilarious scampy. It was so and he was sexy in it. He had to take off his Santa pseudo. David: 11:55 So sexy sexy, yeah, and like he has had a variety of body shapes and all of them for me. Every single like and I have a ranking list. Maybe this can be our top three, like butt David Harbor bodies. But he is yes, uh Gabon, this is the best deal for the week you&#39;ve ever had. Gavin: 12:14 I&#39;m gonna also actually I&#39;m gonna send to you the article that I referenced for this, actually. And he&#39;s 50, just like you, and he went to Dartmouth. I mean, no idiot. David: 12:24 That&#39;s smart, hot, and old. Gavin: 12:27 There&#39;s a picture. Uh you know what? I&#39;m gonna send this offline and I&#39;ll probably repost it and get us sued, and that would be great because we could use the attention of the picture of him in a skirt leaning back on um a couch in Out magazine. And that&#39;s the article that said he&#39;s part of the daddy verse and he&#39;s happy to be there. Also, he is a dad, he&#39;s not a biological dad, but he has two stepchildren with his wife, and that&#39;s just what kind of makes me say, oh, good for you even more, right? So, Dilf of the Week, David Harbour. You know what&#39;s not quite as hot as our dilf of the week? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:04 I was gonna do like what doesn&#39;t make you say aw or something like that. But anyway, what is our top three list this week, David? Gavin: 13:11 It is the top three fall candles since. So this one was my uh uh topic this week. And uh part of this is I suppose just um maybe it&#39;s product placement. That&#39;s fine. I&#39;m fine with that. I have um cheap but expensive smelling candles from something called Maison Louis Marie, and believe me, they were not expensive. They were these are not Henry Bend Bendel. Is that what his name is? Henry Bendel. Um but they I don&#39;t know. David: 13:38 You&#39;re talking to a white barn girly. Like I&#39;m the cheapest of cheap. Oh, you&#39;re right. I&#39;ll buy a Walmart candle and a hard. Gavin: 13:44 Okay, so but but these are affordable, these aren&#39;t like hundred dollar candles, right? They smell like hundred dollar candles. So anyway, Maison Louis Marie, trust me, as pretentious as this is gonna sound, they are fantastic. Number three for me is the bois. David: 13:59 Oh my god. Already you&#39;ve set yourself up for failure, Gavin. You have you&#39;re trying to be a man of the people and talk about how, like, oh, these aren&#39;t expensive. You&#39;re speaking in French, Gavin. Gavin: 14:12 Woods of Balancourt. That&#39;s we&#39;re just gonna leave it at that. Woods of Balancourt. Oh trust me, Maison Louis Marie. It is cheap, but smells expensive. David: 14:26 Oh my god, Gaven. Just a man for people. Gavin: 14:29 Okay, but another another candle um is um actually just leather, and I and I&#39;m like, okay, of Maison Louis Marie, and it does smell leathery. That is my number two favorite, and it is so Gavin is into leather. David: 14:43 That is the title of the And I&#39;m into leather. Gavin: 14:45...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin&apos;s son is a liar, we drool over David&apos;s favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O&apos;Hara and Dan Poblocki who are here to talk about their new book &#34;Jackson Bright in the Spotlight,&#34; dish on Eureka&apos;s new Divine project, and chat about how Dan knows 6 year olds better than we do by having written David&apos;s sons new favorite book, &#34;My Brother&apos;s Butt is Haunted.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You ready? I&#39;m so I&#39;m born ready. David, I&#39;m sorry that I was late today. SPEAKER_05: 0:07 It&#39;s okay. Gavin: 0:07 Uh I was on the phone with a um my kids&#39; math teacher, and he it might be Wait, we&#39;re not recording, right? You&#39;re just talking to me. David: 0:14 Oh, I thought we were. We no, we are recording, but like I definitely want to start with my story because it&#39;s oh like it&#39;s well by all means. Gavin: 0:21 Oh, then you&#39;re by all means, take control, daddy. And this is gig three art. David: 0:42 So we know my daughter&#39;s a challenge, but this morning she woke up and she was like, Come cuddle with me in bed. And so I was cuddling with her in bed, and it was all very sweet. And today is Friday. The when we&#39;re recording, this is Friday, and it&#39;s their show and tell, and it&#39;s letter O. So we&#39;re like, What could we do? I said, What could we do for letter O? What would what would it be? And she&#39;s laying there and she&#39;s thinking, and then she rolls her little body over to me and she says, Auschwitz. Gavin: 1:11 I&#39;m so sorry that your stupid daughter doesn&#39;t know how to spell Auschwitz, but I said, I&#39;m sorry, honey. David: 1:17 I I misheard you. What did you say? She said, Auschwitz. I said, Honey, are you sure what what what she goes, uh Auschwitz, the the big bird. I said, Oh, ostrich. Ausrich is the word you meant. She goes, Yes, that&#39;s what I said. I said, Well, your honor, if you&#39;ll check the tape, you said Auschwitz, which was a very different show and tell. So um that&#39;s how I woke up this morning. Gavin: 1:48 That I mean, hey, talk about like the smell of napalm in the morning, just a little Holocaust here. Oh my god. That&#39;s really great. That&#39;s really, really, really great. Yeah, how&#39;d you wake up this morning? I mean, it with the doomed feeling that my kids would only be at school for about 15 minutes because it&#39;s a damn half day. David: 2:09 Who invented half days? Every day&#39;s a half day or a day off, or a teacher holiday, or a pancake day or whatever. Or pancake day or something like that. Gavin: 2:17 Oh, those teachers, they just never work hard enough, do they? Just always get in half. And they&#39;re paid too much. They&#39;re paid too much. They are paid too much, and they really do nothing for our children, for our society. Anyway, it&#39;s a half day, and that uh, of course, drives me uh pretty bonkers. But I was late here coming to our recording because I was on the phone with my son&#39;s math teacher because he um he for the very first time, I&#39;ve never seen him actually work hard at studying anything. Most things come easy to him, like memorizing the amount of exhaust pipes on a car. It&#39;s a weird, it&#39;s a thing. He knows how many exhaust pipes are. He knows every single car in the highway. Yeah, he knows every single car in the highway from very far away from a Nissan to a DeLorean. And he knows soccer, right? He knows sports, he gets it. Anyway, he finally studied really hard for a test the other day, ended up getting a C. Now I&#39;m like, okay, well, like, why&#39;d you get a C what happened, dude? And he&#39;s like, well, she gave us the wrong thing to study, and then she gave us a wrong the com]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin&apos;s son is a liar, we drool over David&apos;s favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O&apos;Hara and Dan Poblocki who are here to talk about their new book &#34;Jackson Bright in the Spotlight,&#34; dish on Eureka&apos;s new Divine project, and chat about how Dan knows 6 year olds better than we do by having written David&apos;s sons new favorite book, &#34;My Brother&apos;s Butt is Haunted.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You ready? I&#39;m so I&#39;m born ready. David, I&#39;m sorry that I was late today. SPEAKER_05: 0:07 It&#39;s okay. Gavin: 0:07 Uh I was on the phone with a um my kids&#39; math teacher, and he it might be Wait, we&#39;re not recording, right? You&#39;re just talking to me. David: 0:14 Oh, I ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with podcast host Jameel Mayers</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-podcast-host-jameel-mayers/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 08 Oct 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, gay men have abandoned the White House, David has parts of his son to dispose of, Gavin doesn&apos;t understand Instagram, we rank the top 3 hottest Halloween characters, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, deep thinker, and general multi-hyphenate Jameel Mayers who talks to us about his rare adoption journey, where he gets his Dad vibes from, and what exactly are Fathernetics. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond Everywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on I was reading it and I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? SPEAKER_02: 0:14 What am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? We didn&#39;t record the first chapter. I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 0:44 Right? Mm-hmm. Well, there&#39;s this douchebag out there called Prof. I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve ever heard him. He&#39;s got a massive following, massive. And he would probably call himself a douchebag as well. I think he&#39;s kind of a reformed conservative. Like he used to be just rapacious capitalist. And now he&#39;s like, well, this is bullshit. I hate Trump kind of thing, right? So he, I was listening to a podcast of his while running, because part of me during my age bracket right now is like needing to prove to myself that I won&#39;t die if I go run, right? So I&#39;m listening to him, and I was doubled over in laughter when he he was um he and another woman do something called raging moderates, and they just bitch about politics from a leftist point of view, obviously. And uh they were talking, they were criticizing Trump for having well we rarely even say his name on here, don&#39;t we? They were criticizing Voldemort for having redone the inside interior of the White House. And uh this dude, uh definitely douchebag uh Scott Goff something is his name, prof G, says, you know, the thing that really pisses me off the most is that Trump committed the cardinal sin of interior decorating, was he didn&#39;t hire a gay man. Instead, it looks like a bunch of Karen&#39;s with spiky bleached hair think they have taste, including leopard prints and gold leaf, which is the epitome of tacky. And I just loved this guy, his whole brand is saying it like it is, and he says an awful lot of offensive, dated things that should cancel him. But I loved that he just absolutely stereotyped the hell out of that because it&#39;s true the White House does not look now like it has been decorated by a gay man, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:21 Melania, come on, what were you thinking? Yeah, but you gotta keep in mind, like he&#39;s the age where like the early 90s were the epitome of class, and that was like leopard print gold. Like he always thinks gold is really Are you making excuses for Donald Trump&#39;s Listen? I only voted for him twice, not all three times. So I feel like I get a little bit of room for that. Gavin: 2:42 Right, right, right, right, right. Well, anyway, that was a podcasting moment that had me doubled over in stitches, and hey, one of our superpowers, right? Just knowing interior design, I suppose, I mean, don&#39;t hire me to do it. David: 2:53 Yeah, don&#39;t come to Gavin and I&#39;s house because you&#39;re gonna be very disappointed, except for the gay sex part, but then you&#39;ll be very impressed. Um, speaking of being impressed, so I have a little update from uh last episode. I was telling you about how we went to the dentist, and the dentist was like, What would you like to do, boy for Florida? And I said, I don&#39;t want to decide. So we let it fall out naturally, and it did. And fell out shark, the the baby shark tuck too. Yeah, his tooth fell out. Um, he ripped it out on camera. It was like really loose, and he just fucking yanked it, and it was like like something about watching somebody else pull their own tooth out was just so fucking gross. But the the this is his first? Wow, he&#39;s like geriatric to be just losing his teeth, right? Yeah. So this is his first tooth that he lost. And so, of course, we&#39;re like, okay, tooth fairy, like, how are we gonna do this? All that stuff like we talked about last week. So I said to him, I said, Hey, um, you know, you&#39;re gonna put it under your pillow so the tooth fairy can give you money. He goes, No, I&#39;m gonna keep it. I make money taking the garbage out. And I was like, Okay, bitch. Well, uh, all right. Well, like, so now I&#39;m like, what are we gonna do with this like biological material that we&#39;re gonna keep? I&#39;m not gonna do a Gavin and keep the the circumcision in a jar like your mom did. I I so so excuse me. It was a plastic baggie from the 70s. Wow, with just this disgusting squittering, this like, huge, huge, yeah. Massive. Yeah. For a baby, you had a massive dick. Gavin: 4:26 You know, we we all think that we&#39;re gonna save these teeth, and then what the hell do we what the then you end up like Gavin cleaning out his childhood home and finding everything, including all of his teeth, and they just like they crack and fall apart, and you&#39;re just like, what is the point of this? Of your dick. David: 4:42 I want to reiterate for the listener who joined us maybe late after the story, Gavin&#39;s mom kept the part of his dick, the foreskin, that they cut off during his circumcision, and Gavin encountered it cleaning out his mom&#39;s house. So, um, what did you do with that um calamari? What did you end up doing with it? Gavin: 5:02 I now in my uh calamari-sized brain, I cannot remember. I don&#39;t think I would have gotten rid of it because by this point, this is just hilarious, and you just have to hold on to it. No, I wouldn&#39;t have thrown it away, but I could not, for the life of me, tell you where it is, which means that my children your children are gonna discover it. David: 5:20 They&#39;ll be like, what parts of dad&#39;s dick are in this house. Gavin: 5:24 So oh my god. Um okay, so anyway, are you keeping well, are you eventually gonna sneak the tooth away from him? What did you have a plan here? David: 5:32 I I don&#39;t know what we&#39;re gonna do. I think what he&#39;s eventually gonna do is say, okay, I&#39;ll put it under my pillow for for some for some money. But yeah, he&#39;s like, no, bitch, I got a job. I&#39;m taking the trash out twice a week, getting a dollar each time. I was like, you&#39;re you&#39;re not wrong. Gavin: 5:44 That work ethic, that work ethic is definitely admirable. We have kept every single one of our kids&#39; teeth in one of these, I don&#39;t know, just got it on Etsy, kind of like charming little you set you you feel this obligation of I need to create all these memories for myself and for my kid, and I&#39;m gonna be nostalgic and da-da-da. And you spend$35 on some dumbass wooden contraption that holds all the teeth so you can date them and say where you lost them and everything. And then by the end, you&#39;re just like shoving them in. Oops, I dropped it, they all fell out. Now I have no idea which tooth is which. It has it&#39;s meaningless. David: 6:18 They should all just be, I don&#39;t know. Throw it in the trash. It just yeah, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Um, but you know what else made me feel uncomfortable? Is my son came home with a fix it ticket. What on earth? What is his teacher basically sending him home with a your kid is being bad, he needs to fix this. And it was he was like talking while she was talking and not paying attention enough to where like she he got multiple warnings and got sent home with like a thing that we had to sign twice. We&#39;ve gotten two fix-it tickets at home. So I&#39;m basically raising a criminal and um he&#39;s gonna leave lead a life of crime. So um were you a chatty cathy growing up? No, I was a total like brown-nosing yes teacher, please let me please the teacher kind of um vibe. I was a total do-gooder, yeah, surprisingly. Gavin: 7:16 I was a total do-go gooder as well, but I could not keep my mouth shut. So I would get like straight A&#39;s or H&#39;s or ones or whatever for grades, but I always had bad grades for respecting the rights of others, which meant I was too talkative and um wouldn&#39;t let every other people focus. But they needed to fucking be smarter and get their shit done faster, right? David: 7:40 Yes. And you know what else was smarter was our listener, because it was your birthday last week, and we were saying we wanted all of our listener to send in some dick pics. Uh-huh. And what was hilarious was as soon as that episode dropped, we started getting DMs from people being like, Gavin&#39;s Instagram is private. He can&#39;t even receive dick pics. And so I reached out to you, I was like, your Instagram is private. Like, and you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know how to unprivate my Instagram. So we had this old man trying to figure out his AOL login. Yeah. And it was just uh so for those of you who ended up sending some stuff over via Gate Shrek&#39;s podcast, thank you. It was very funny. Listen, we got a lot of um, you know, Dick Van Dyks, and we got a lot of chickens, yes, we got a lot of uh those kind of dicks, but we very appreciate it. Um sorry that Gaben&#39;s DMs were lots. Oh my god. Gavin: 8:29 I know my Instagram is a joke, and you know what? I am perfectly fine with it that way, but uh, I do appreciate all the Dick Van Dykes and the chickens because that&#39;s hilarious. David: 8:37 By the way, do you uh can you all hear in Gaben&#39;s voice that he&#39;s getting sick? He said before we started recording, he was like, I think I&#39;m getting sick. And I have heard it throughout these past seven minutes get worse and worse, like a storm cloud is rolling and sweet. Gavin: 8:51 Hurry up. I&#39;ve I&#39;ve been muting my yeah, we need to we do need to hurry this up. I&#39;ve been muting myself real quick to sneeze and cough and uh snort, snot because I don&#39;t have any tissues next to me. David: 9:02 That&#39;s lovely, isn&#39;t it? That&#39;s so lovely for this audio platform. I&#39;m so glad we don&#39;t charge for this because God people would be so disappointed. Um so one other thing. Gavin: 9:11 I&#39;m gonna wait for one day to be able to charge for it. David: 9:12 Just except for you, listener, not you, not you listener. Oh, speaking of another listener, um, our other listener, Liam, uh, reached out to us. And I&#39;m sorry, for those of you who have emailed us and DMed us like interesting stories and stuff, we&#39;re so behind on everything. But I was I wanted to remind uh myself of he sent us this email about his daycare, and his daycare was basically taken over by kind of a corporate entity, and everything basically all the prices went up, the service went down. It was crazy. And it&#39;s funny, it reminded me that happened to our daycare. Our very first daycare was like it was it was nice enough, but it was like very homemade kind of stuff, and the prices are reasonable. And then, like, this conglomerate bought it up, changed the name, all the like the letterhead was different, but the services went down and the prices went up by like 30%. It was fucking insane. Ain&#39;t that the way? It&#39;s such bullshit. And Liam basically sent us uh Liam&#39;s from the UK, said the exact same thing happened to him, and he&#39;s like, it&#39;s basically like my fucking housing payment, which is so true. And now that both of my kids are out of daycare, I can hear to tell you that money finds a new home in somebody else&#39;s pockets. Very quickly. Because what I didn&#39;t realize was that nobody goes to school. There&#39;s a thousand days off. There&#39;s half days, there&#39;s medium days, there&#39;s just so there&#39;s non-stop. And I&#39;m like, where do these kids go? Well, maybe they do like a day camp or something. Gavin: 10:32 Well, there&#39;s so many times in the last hundred and twenty-four episodes of recording with you. You&#39;d be on a random, I don&#39;t know, uh that we would be recording on a half day, and and I&#39;m like, well, my kids are running around, and you&#39;re like, no, mine are take care. And I&#39;m like, I I festered so much judgment and envy over all of that. You&#39;ve had it so good for the last five years. Well, welcome to hell. David: 10:57 Speaking of hell, we&#39;re throwing a Halloween party. SPEAKER_05: 11:01 Yay! David: 11:02 Nice with our friends at the uh gate, the Queer Family podcast. Uh, we&#39;ve mentioned it a couple times. We&#39;re gonna keep mentioning it until the party. Um, today is October 8th, but our party will be October 25th. We are doing a kind of a family Halloween party from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse in New York City. Saturday, October 25th. It&#39;s kind of like a bar, but it also has like arcade games and food and these video walls. It&#39;s like super fun. And we&#39;ll have candy for the kids. We&#39;ll do like a little, maybe like a runway for the costumes. But please, please, please come. We&#39;re gonna be there. Gavin will be there, I will be there with our kids. Gavin, you&#39;re not gonna be there? We can discuss that next time. Oh shit. Okay, there&#39;s tea to be spilled. Um, and uh, but if you are going, if this is something you could do, please, please sign up for it&#39;s free, but sign up for it on our eventbrite, which is on our um bio because we want to kind of get an idea of headcount. Uh, but please come uh visit us, say hi to us, and um, you know, maybe send Gabin a dick pic because his Instagram is now open. Gavin: 12:03 But but send it at Gate TrueRx Podcast. Yes. So there is uh obviously no good news out there whatsoever, but I have been able to do a little bit of research for us because I want to be the bearer of good news once in a while, okay? Yeah. Don&#39;t know if you know about this, but it&#39;s because it did actually happen a couple of weeks ago. But there&#39;s some douchebag dickhead guy running for governor in Wisconsin, who&#39;s of course anti-trans, anti-queer, anti, you know, all the things that make life meaningful, who had to drop out. Why? Big surprise. Because he was following, he got caught for following a whole bunch of pornographic folks on Medium, and some of them were non-binary and possibly um trans folks. Now, I have to admit, I think it&#39;s kind of bullshit that we&#39;re outing this guy and finding out what his private proclivities are, and yet at the same time, fuck that. No, he&#39;s an asshole. David: 12:55 He doesn&#39;t get privacy when he&#39;s being a hypocrite and he&#39;s trying to ruin other people&#39;s lives. Gavin: 12:59 You don&#39;t get privacy. So that is um, so that was oh, Bill Barion, that&#39;s what his name was. Bill Barrian thinking that he could just ride the wave of hatred to the governorship in Wisconsin. Fuck you, Bill. You are canceled. SPEAKER_03: 13:13 Um then did you see the picture of the South Florida football team boys hugging and almost kissing? No, but that&#39;s where I grew up. Tell me about it. Gavin: 13:23 It&#39;s not entirely clear, I don&#39;t think, in my very, very quick um research whether or not. Oh, and take this back. I&#39;ve just said fuck you, Bill. Now I&#39;m starting another section of Gatriarchs, uh, David. Are you excited to have a new um weekly series that I completely dropped the ball on? Totally. We&#39;re doing Gatriarch&#39;s sports. Okay. David: 13:46 Oh Lord, no. Gavin: 13:47 So uh just recently, I don&#39;t know if you saw the two footballers who were caught um in an embrace. Did you not know about this? I did not know about this, but tell me more. South Florida&#39;s football team, um, a kicker and a holder. I didn&#39;t even know that was a position. David: 14:04 Just two gay men trying to talk to sports. Can you know you and I trying to dance around sports when we don&#39;t know anything about it? Gavin: 14:12 How do you not know this? Okay, I&#39;m gonna put this in the chat. First of all, I have to find the chat. Where&#39;s the chat? I want you to see this picture in real time, okay? Because you are going to love it. So this is the thing. I don&#39;t think anybody...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, gay men have abandoned the White House, David has parts of his son to dispose of, Gavin doesn&apos;t understand Instagram, we rank the top 3 hottest Halloween characters, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, deep thinker, and gene]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, gay men have abandoned the White House, David has parts of his son to dispose of, Gavin doesn&apos;t understand Instagram, we rank the top 3 hottest Halloween characters, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, deep thinker, and general multi-hyphenate Jameel Mayers who talks to us about his rare adoption journey, where he gets his Dad vibes from, and what exactly are Fathernetics. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond Everywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on I was reading it and I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? SPEAKER_02: 0:14 What am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? We didn&#39;t record the first chapter. I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 0:44 Right? Mm-hmm. Well, there&#39;s this douchebag out there called Prof. I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve ever heard him. He&#39;s got a massive following, massive. And he would probably call himself a douchebag as well. I think he&#39;s kind of a reformed conservative. Like he used to be just rapacious capitalist. And now he&#39;s like, well, this is bullshit. I hate Trump kind of thing, right? So he, I was listening to a podcast of his while running, because part of me during my age bracket right now is like needing to prove to myself that I won&#39;t die if I go run, right? So I&#39;m listening to him, and I was doubled over in laughter when he he was um he and another woman do something called raging moderates, and they just bitch about politics from a leftist point of view, obviously. And uh they were talking, they were criticizing Trump for having well we rarely even say his name on here, don&#39;t we? They were criticizing Voldemort for having redone the inside interior of the White House. And uh this dude, uh definitely douchebag uh Scott Goff something is his name, prof G, says, you know, the thing that really pisses me off the most is that Trump committed the cardinal sin of interior decorating, was he didn&#39;t hire a gay man. Instead, it looks like a bunch of Karen&#39;s with spiky bleached hair think they have taste, including leopard prints and gold leaf, which is the epitome of tacky. And I just loved this guy, his whole brand is saying it like it is, and he says an awful lot of offensive, dated things that should cancel him. But I loved that he just absolutely stereotyped the hell out of that because it&#39;s true the White House does not look now like it has been decorated by a gay man, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:21 Melania, come on, what were you thinking? Yeah, but you gotta keep in mind, like he&#39;s the age where like the early 90s were the epitome of class, and that was like leopard print gold. Like he always thinks gold is really Are you making excuses for Donald Trump&#39;s Listen? I only voted for him twice, not all three times. So I feel like I get a little bit of room for that. Gavin: 2:42 Right, right, right, right, right. Well, anyway, that was a podcasting moment that had me doubled over in stitches, and hey, one of our superpowers, right? Just knowing interior design, I suppose, I mean, don&#39;t hire me to do it. David: 2:53 Yeah, don&#39;t come to Gavin and I&#39;s house because you&#39;re gonna be very disappointed, except for the gay sex part, but then you&#39;ll be very impressed. Um, speaking of being impressed, so I have a little update from uh last episode. I was telling you about how we went to the dentist, and the dentist was like, What would you like to do, boy for Florida? And I said, I don&#39;t want to decide. So we let it fall out naturally, and it did. And fell out shark, the the baby shark tuck too. Yeah, his tooth fell out. Um, he ripped it out on camera. It was like really loose, and he just fucking yanked it, and it was like like something about watching somebody else pull their own tooth out was just so fucking gross. But the the this is his first? Wow, he&#39;s like geriatric to be just losing his teeth, right? Yeah. So this is his first tooth that he lost. And so, of course, we&#39;re like, okay, tooth fairy, like, how are we gonna do this? All that stuff like we talked about last week. So I said to him, I said, Hey, um, you know, you&#39;re gonna put it under your pillow so the tooth fairy can give you money. He goes, No, I&#39;m gonna keep it. I make money taking the garbage out. And I was like, Okay, bitch. Well, uh, all right. Well, like, so now I&#39;m like, what are we gonna do with this like biological material that we&#39;re gonna keep? I&#39;m not gonna do a Gavin and keep the the circumcision in a jar like your mom did. I I so so excuse me. It was a plastic baggie from the 70s. Wow, with just this disgusting squittering, this like, huge, huge, yeah. Massive. Yeah. For a baby, you had a massive dick. Gavin: 4:26 You know, we we all think that we&#39;re gonna save these teeth, and then what the hell do we what the then you end up like Gavin cleaning out his childhood home and finding everything, including all of his teeth, and they just like they crack and fall apart, and you&#39;re just like, what is the point of this? Of your dick. David: 4:42 I want to reiterate for the listener who joined us maybe late after the story, Gavin&#39;s mom kept the part of his dick, the foreskin, that they cut off during his circumcision, and Gavin encountered it cleaning out his mom&#39;s house. So, um, what did you do with that um calamari? What did you end up doing with it? Gavin: 5:02 I now in my uh calamari-sized brain, I cannot remember. I don&#39;t think I would have gotten rid of it because by this point, this is just hilarious, and you just have to hold on to it. No, I wouldn&#39;t have thrown it away, but I could not, for the life of me, tell you where it is, which means that my children your children are gonna discover it. David: 5:20 They&#39;ll be like, what parts of dad&#39;s dick are in this house. Gavin: 5:24 So oh my god. Um okay, so anyway, are you keeping well, are you eventually gonna sneak the tooth away from him? What did you have a plan here? David: 5:32 I I don&#39;t know what we&#39;re gonna do. I think what he&#39;s eventually gonna do is say, okay, I&#39;ll put it under my pillow for for some for some money. But yeah, he&#39;s like, no, bitch, I got a job. I&#39;m taking the trash out twice a week, getting a dollar each time. I was like, you&#39;re you&#39;re not wrong. Gavin: 5:44 That work ethic, that work ethic is definitely admirable. We have kept every single one of our kids&#39; teeth in one of these, I don&#39;t know, just got it on Etsy, kind of like charming little you set you you feel this obligation of I need to create all these memories for myself and for my kid, and I&#39;m gonna be nostalgic and da-da-da. And you spend$35 on some dumbass wooden contraption that holds all the teeth so you can date them and say where you lost them and everything. And then by the end, you&#39;re just like shoving them in. Oops, I dropped it, they all fell out. Now I have no idea which tooth is which. It has it&#39;s meaningless. David: 6:18 They should all just be, I don&#39;t know. Throw it in the trash. It just yeah, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Um, but you know what else made me feel uncomfortable? Is my son came home with a fix it ticket. What on earth? What is his teacher basically sending him home with a your kid is being bad, he needs to fix this. And it was he was like talking while she was talking and not paying attention enough to where like she he got multiple warnings and got sent home with like a thing that we had to sign twice. We&#39;ve gotten two fix-it tickets at home. So I&#39;m basically raising a criminal and um he&#39;s gonna leave lead a life of crime. So um were you a chatty cathy growing up? No, I was a total like brown-nosing yes teacher, please let me please the teacher kind of um vibe. I was a total do-gooder, yeah, surprisingly. Gavin: 7:16 I was a total do-go gooder as well, but I could not keep my mouth shut. So I would get like straight A&#39;s or H&#39;s or ones or whatever for grades, but I always had bad grades for respecting the rights of others, which meant I was too talkative and um wouldn&#39;t let every other people focus. But they needed to fucking be smarter and get their shit done faster, right? David: 7:40 Yes. And you know what else was smarter was our listener, because it was your birthday last week, and we were saying we wanted all of our listener to send in some dick pics. Uh-huh. And what was hilarious was as soon as that episode dropped, we started getting DMs from people being like, Gavin&#39;s Instagram is private. He can&#39;t even receive dick pics. And so I reached out to you, I was like, your Instagram is private. Like, and you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know how to unprivate my Instagram. So we had this old man trying to figure out his AOL login. Yeah. And it was just uh so for those of you who ended up sending some stuff over via Gate Shrek&#39;s podcast, thank you. It was very funny. Listen, we got a lot of um, you know, Dick Van Dyks, and we got a lot of chickens, yes, we got a lot of uh those kind of dicks, but we very appreciate it. Um sorry that Gaben&#39;s DMs were lots. Oh my god. Gavin: 8:29 I know my Instagram is a joke, and you know what? I am perfectly fine with it that way, but uh, I do appreciate all the Dick Van Dykes and the chickens because that&#39;s hilarious. David: 8:37 By the way, do you uh can you all hear in Gaben&#39;s voice that he&#39;s getting sick? He said before we started recording, he was like, I think I&#39;m getting sick. And I have heard it throughout these past seven minutes get worse and worse, like a storm cloud is rolling and sweet. Gavin: 8:51 Hurry up. I&#39;ve I&#39;ve been muting my yeah, we need to we do need to hurry this up. I&#39;ve been muting myself real quick to sneeze and cough and uh snort, snot because I don&#39;t have any tissues next to me. David: 9:02 That&#39;s lovely, isn&#39;t it? That&#39;s so lovely for this audio platform. I&#39;m so glad we don&#39;t charge for this because God people would be so disappointed. Um so one other thing. Gavin: 9:11 I&#39;m gonna wait for one day to be able to charge for it. David: 9:12 Just except for you, listener, not you, not you listener. Oh, speaking of another listener, um, our other listener, Liam, uh, reached out to us. And I&#39;m sorry, for those of you who have emailed us and DMed us like interesting stories and stuff, we&#39;re so behind on everything. But I was I wanted to remind uh myself of he sent us this email about his daycare, and his daycare was basically taken over by kind of a corporate entity, and everything basically all the prices went up, the service went down. It was crazy. And it&#39;s funny, it reminded me that happened to our daycare. Our very first daycare was like it was it was nice enough, but it was like very homemade kind of stuff, and the prices are reasonable. And then, like, this conglomerate bought it up, changed the name, all the like the letterhead was different, but the services went down and the prices went up by like 30%. It was fucking insane. Ain&#39;t that the way? It&#39;s such bullshit. And Liam basically sent us uh Liam&#39;s from the UK, said the exact same thing happened to him, and he&#39;s like, it&#39;s basically like my fucking housing payment, which is so true. And now that both of my kids are out of daycare, I can hear to tell you that money finds a new home in somebody else&#39;s pockets. Very quickly. Because what I didn&#39;t realize was that nobody goes to school. There&#39;s a thousand days off. There&#39;s half days, there&#39;s medium days, there&#39;s just so there&#39;s non-stop. And I&#39;m like, where do these kids go? Well, maybe they do like a day camp or something. Gavin: 10:32 Well, there&#39;s so many times in the last hundred and twenty-four episodes of recording with you. You&#39;d be on a random, I don&#39;t know, uh that we would be recording on a half day, and and I&#39;m like, well, my kids are running around, and you&#39;re like, no, mine are take care. And I&#39;m like, I I festered so much judgment and envy over all of that. You&#39;ve had it so good for the last five years. Well, welcome to hell. David: 10:57 Speaking of hell, we&#39;re throwing a Halloween party. SPEAKER_05: 11:01 Yay! David: 11:02 Nice with our friends at the uh gate, the Queer Family podcast. Uh, we&#39;ve mentioned it a couple times. We&#39;re gonna keep mentioning it until the party. Um, today is October 8th, but our party will be October 25th. We are doing a kind of a family Halloween party from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse in New York City. Saturday, October 25th. It&#39;s kind of like a bar, but it also has like arcade games and food and these video walls. It&#39;s like super fun. And we&#39;ll have candy for the kids. We&#39;ll do like a little, maybe like a runway for the costumes. But please, please, please come. We&#39;re gonna be there. Gavin will be there, I will be there with our kids. Gavin, you&#39;re not gonna be there? We can discuss that next time. Oh shit. Okay, there&#39;s tea to be spilled. Um, and uh, but if you are going, if this is something you could do, please, please sign up for it&#39;s free, but sign up for it on our eventbrite, which is on our um bio because we want to kind of get an idea of headcount. Uh, but please come uh visit us, say hi to us, and um, you know, maybe send Gabin a dick pic because his Instagram is now open. Gavin: 12:03 But but send it at Gate TrueRx Podcast. Yes. So there is uh obviously no good news out there whatsoever, but I have been able to do a little bit of research for us because I want to be the bearer of good news once in a while, okay? Yeah. Don&#39;t know if you know about this, but it&#39;s because it did actually happen a couple of weeks ago. But there&#39;s some douchebag dickhead guy running for governor in Wisconsin, who&#39;s of course anti-trans, anti-queer, anti, you know, all the things that make life meaningful, who had to drop out. Why? Big surprise. Because he was following, he got caught for following a whole bunch of pornographic folks on Medium, and some of them were non-binary and possibly um trans folks. Now, I have to admit, I think it&#39;s kind of bullshit that we&#39;re outing this guy and finding out what his private proclivities are, and yet at the same time, fuck that. No, he&#39;s an asshole. David: 12:55 He doesn&#39;t get privacy when he&#39;s being a hypocrite and he&#39;s trying to ruin other people&#39;s lives. Gavin: 12:59 You don&#39;t get privacy. So that is um, so that was oh, Bill Barion, that&#39;s what his name was. Bill Barrian thinking that he could just ride the wave of hatred to the governorship in Wisconsin. Fuck you, Bill. You are canceled. SPEAKER_03: 13:13 Um then did you see the picture of the South Florida football team boys hugging and almost kissing? No, but that&#39;s where I grew up. Tell me about it. Gavin: 13:23 It&#39;s not entirely clear, I don&#39;t think, in my very, very quick um research whether or not. Oh, and take this back. I&#39;ve just said fuck you, Bill. Now I&#39;m starting another section of Gatriarchs, uh, David. Are you excited to have a new um weekly series that I completely dropped the ball on? Totally. We&#39;re doing Gatriarch&#39;s sports. Okay. David: 13:46 Oh Lord, no. Gavin: 13:47 So uh just recently, I don&#39;t know if you saw the two footballers who were caught um in an embrace. Did you not know about this? I did not know about this, but tell me more. South Florida&#39;s football team, um, a kicker and a holder. I didn&#39;t even know that was a position. David: 14:04 Just two gay men trying to talk to sports. Can you know you and I trying to dance around sports when we don&#39;t know anything about it? Gavin: 14:12 How do you not know this? Okay, I&#39;m gonna put this in the chat. First of all, I have to find the chat. Where&#39;s the chat? I want you to see this picture in real time, okay? Because you are going to love it. So this is the thing. I don&#39;t think anybody...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, gay men have abandoned the White House, David has parts of his son to dispose of, Gavin doesn&apos;t understand Instagram, we rank the top 3 hottest Halloween characters, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, deep thinker, and general multi-hyphenate Jameel Mayers who talks to us about his rare adoption journey, where he gets his Dad vibes from, and what exactly are Fathernetics. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond Everywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on I was reading it and I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? SPEAKER_02: 0:14 What am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? We didn&#39;t record the first chapter. I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 0:44 Right? Mm-hmm. Well, there&#39;s this douchebag out there called Prof. I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve ever heard him. He&#39;s got a massive following, massive. And he would probably call himself a douchebag as well. I think he&#39;s kind of a reformed conservative. Like he used to be just rapacious capitalist. And now he&#39;s like, well, this is bullshit. I hate Trump kind of thing, right? So he, I was listening to a podcast of his while running, because part of me during my age bracket right now is like needing to prove to myself that I won&#39;t die if I go run, right? So I&#39;m listening to him, and I was doubled over in laughter when he he was um he and another woman do something called raging moderates, and they just bitch about politics from a leftist point of view, obviously. And uh they were talking, they were criticizing Trump for having well we rarely even say his name on here, don&#39;t we? They were criticizing Voldemort for having redone the inside interior of the White House. And uh this dude, uh definitely douchebag uh Scott Goff something is his name, prof G, says, you know, the thing that really pisses me off the most is that Trump committed the cardinal sin of interior decorating, was he didn&#39;t hire a gay man. Instead, it looks like a bunch of Karen&#39;s with spiky bleached hair think they have taste, including leopard prints and gold leaf, which is the epitome of tacky. And I just loved this guy, his whole brand is saying it like it is, and he says an awful lot of offensive, dated things that should cancel him. But I loved that he just absolutely stereotyped the hell out of that because it&#39;s true the White House does not look now like it has been decorated by a gay man, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:21 Melania, come on, what were you thinking? Yeah, but you gotta keep in mind, like he&#39;s the age where like the early 90s were the epitome of class, and that was like leopard print gold. Like he always thinks gold is really Are you making excuses for Donald Trump&#39;s Listen? I only voted for him twice, not all three times. So I feel like I get a little bit of room for that. Gavin: 2:42 Right, right, right, right, right. Well, anyway, that was a podcasting moment that had me doubled over in stitches, and hey, one of our superpowers, right? Just knowing interior design, I suppose, I mean, don&#39;t hire me to do it. David: 2:53 Yeah, don&#39;t come to Gavin and I&#39;s house because you&#39;re gonna be very disappointed, except for the gay sex part, but then you&#39;ll be very impressed. Um, speaking of being impressed, so I have a little update from uh last episode. I was telling you about how we went to the dentist, and the dentist was like, What would you like to do, boy for Florida? And I said, I don&#39;t want to decide. So we let it fall out naturally, and it did. And fell out shark, the the baby shark tuck too. Yeah, his tooth fell out. Um, he ripped it out on camera. It was like really loose, and he just fucking yanked it, and it was like like something ab]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, gay men have abandoned the White House, David has parts of his son to dispose of, Gavin doesn&apos;t understand Instagram, we rank the top 3 hottest Halloween characters, and this week we are joined by podcaster, author, deep thinker, and general multi-hyphenate Jameel Mayers who talks to us about his rare adoption journey, where he gets his Dad vibes from, and what exactly are Fathernetics. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond Everywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on I was reading it and I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? SPEAKER_02: 0:14 What am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? We didn&#39;t record the first chapter. I&#39;m like, what am I gonna say? David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 0:44 Right? Mm-hmm. Well, there&#39;s this douchebag ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with nosotros</title>
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	<pubDate>Wed, 01 Oct 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, doctors want David&apos;s advice, Gavin&apos;s kids are too cool for Halloween, David recaps the Men Having Babies conference, we rank the top 3 most inappropriate Halloween costumes for grown ass men, and we remind all of our listener about our upcoming Halloween party with the Queer Family Podcast! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Wait. Are you ready? Yes, but I have no idea where my windows are here. I&#39;ve got to I mean I I am not bullshitting. I have wait, what am I recording on? I&#39;m recording on Chrome. Um and I have a chicken climbing in here. Get out of here, chicken! I still have no idea where these windows are. David: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin, one of the things I do a lot on this show is I complain about something repeatedly and I don&#39;t change anything about it. So I want to bring something like that up. Yeah. Gavin: 0:47 Because that would be way too productive. We are nothing if not hypocrites. It&#39;s more fun to complain. Can you imagine your life without something to complain about? David: 0:55 Well, that&#39;s unimaginable. This podcast would be about eight seconds long. So I went to the dentist because my son has shark teeth. Do you know what shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:05 Baby shark teeth. Baby shark shark teeth. David: 1:12 Um, do you know what baby like shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:14 I just assume super sharp um canines or something. David: 1:17 No, it&#39;s when the new tooth grows in behind the like the baby tooth before the baby tooth falls out. So you have like a second row of teeth. Gavin: 1:25 I mean, we we are nothing, if not America&#39;s finest news source. David: 1:29 Yeah. Gavin: 1:30 I did not know that, frankly, I didn&#39;t know that existed. Yeah. And that it has a very, very technical name. David: 1:36 Yes. So my son had this, and we called the dentist, and she basically said, let it sit for a couple weeks. If his front tooth doesn&#39;t fall out, come in and we&#39;ll have to probably extract them. So nothing happened. So we go to the dentist. And the dentist basically says, Well, there&#39;s two options. We can extract them, like we can pull out the front teeth, or we can just let the teeth fall out naturally and just be way later. Um, what would you like to do? I said, ma&#39;am, I have a degree in musical theater from Florida State University. I am not qualified to cross the street alone, let alone make medical decisions. I feel like every doctor in my life constantly says, What do you want to do? And I have to constantly remind them I am an unemployed homosexual who should not be trusted with such decisions. Gavin: 2:27 What the homosexual has nothing to do with your inability or general ineptitude in life. You are just plain that. You know, that goes beyond just doctors, though. I have to say there are specialists in my professional life that sometimes say to me, What do you think you should do? And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m literally paying you to tell me what to do. I do not know in this circumstance. If you want me, if you want me to give you advice on a calling my children bad names and feeling really bad about it, to unfortunately behind their backs, but so they hear it, I have plenty of advice on that. I have plenty of advice on, yeah, tap dancing and raising chickens. And none of it is very good advice. But I agree with you entirely. This happens to me all the time. David: 3:09 I can&#39;t, but like I just, I I it must be an insurance issue because I feel like culturally this is new within the last 10 years, where I&#39;m getting doctors constantly asking me, well, what do you want to do? And I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t want a decision. If if I feel strongly about something you&#39;re recommending, I will speak up. If you say, I think we should pull the teeth, and I go, Well, I don&#39;t know, you know, then we can have a conversation. I&#39;m I just want you to tell me what to do. Also, my son is like quivering in the chair because he&#39;s like, Am I gonna get my teeth yanked out by this woman today? Or am I gonna get to go home and have a lollipop? Gavin: 3:39 So and it all and it all based is based upon my daddy making the decision for me, which also makes him quiver. David: 3:46 It would be my daddy with a with who does musical theater at Florida State University. Gavin: 3:50 It&#39;s it&#39;s insane. It would be kind of sad if you didn&#39;t have that natural, that, that, that benchmark moment of parenthood, though, of losing the first tooth. Is he just on his first teeth? He hasn&#39;t lost a single teeth. David: 4:02 Yeah, he hasn&#39;t lost a single tooth yet. And of course, all his friends have multiple teeth missing. Although one of those shark teeth front teeth, the baby teeth in front of the shark tooth, is super wiggly now. And he&#39;s obsessed. He&#39;s like, when is it gonna fall out? I want it to fall out, I want it to fall out. Um, so I don&#39;t know. I was like, oh yeah, well, one of your body parts is gonna fall out, and a stranger is gonna come to your bedroom at night and take your biological material from you and leave you a dollar. Gavin: 4:25 But if he so I mean, it is October right now, and uh theoretically you could have two open front teeth, and he could, you know, be really cute for Christmas, that that&#39;s all he wants. But you&#39;re saying that his shark teeth are already coming in. So he&#39;ll go from having teeth to having teeth. He won&#39;t even have gaps. David: 4:43 I mean, they have to like move forward into the gap, so it&#39;s gonna look a little like meth head from Florida for a while. Um, but uh I think it&#39;ll be fine. Which your opinion on that matter is actually quite well educated. So expert. I&#39;m an expert. So I obviously chose not to do anything because it was the cheaper option. But she did say she goes, it&#39;s fine, just let it fall out naturally as long as he&#39;s not in pain. So but and you didn&#39;t have a coupon that day for it, so correct. And I do, as we know, I am a discount queen. I do not pay full price for anything. Gavin: 5:10 Um speaking of queens, um, I see on the outline here you want to bring up a topic that I read as cake anal a G. David: 5:18 Uh, what is cake anal a G? Well, I was actually gonna have a really nice smooth transition before you ignored me um and interrupted me. But uh, yes, uh speaking of beating dead horses, which was gonna be, you know, I&#39;m Gaben, you know I&#39;m obsessed with this chasm between parents where the young parents are tired and exhausted and want space, and then the older parents are like, just you wait. Um, right, uh uh you&#39;ll miss it. Y&#39;all gonna miss this, right? And like I&#39;m obsessed with this battle because I am like, somebody is not translating this. Like, what is happening? And I I&#39;ve come to the conclusion that it&#39;s mostly the older parents have dumped a lot of the trauma and are just keeping the cute little moments, right? Gavin: 6:00 And have for come have forgotten everything. Our memories are sieves, we don&#39;t remember any of it. We do see babies in the in the checkout aisle and think, uh, I could do that again. And in reality, you could you cannot do it again. David: 6:14 Especially at 50, Gavin. But um, so I I realized I think the best yes, the the best way I could describe it. And I don&#39;t know why I keep trying to figure out the best way to describe this, is a is it&#39;s an analogy using cake. Imagine somebody says, guess what? You can eat cake today, and you&#39;re like, fuck, amazing. Let me eat some cake. And then the next day they&#39;re like, here&#39;s some more cake, and you&#39;re like, great. And it&#39;s like day 15, and you&#39;re like, I think I need a break from cake. And they&#39;re like, no, you have to eat cake now. And then one day you&#39;re eating cake and you&#39;re so full you&#39;re about to throw up, and somebody says, Here&#39;s more cake. You have nothing to do but eat cake, and you eat cake constantly. And then this guy walks in and he&#39;s older than you, and he goes, Yeah, I know you&#39;re tired of eating cake, but just wait. One day you&#39;re not gonna have any cake and you&#39;re gonna wish you had more cake. And then somebody shoves cake in your mouth. This is what it feels like. It feels like I recognize cake is delicious. I recognize that if this is taken away from me in three weeks, I will be desperate for a slice of cake. But I am slipping into a diabetic coma right now because I have had so much cake and I can&#39;t appreciate it because I don&#39;t have space from the cake. Gavin: 7:20 What moment this week threw you over the cake ledge to make you make this anal a G? Were you in a were you in a playground? Did was there some meltdown with your kids? Like what on earth made you deliver this? Bake this fancy metaphor. David: 7:39 Well, first of all, it&#39;s the weekend, so it&#39;s 24 hours a day for two days of non-stop kids. But B, I&#39;m solo daddy for the next four days. And so I&#39;m overwhelmed with trying to find clever ways to get in a different room than my children. And my children are outsmarting me. And when I say, like, hey, go play with these toys, they&#39;re like, Great, they go get the toys and they bring them next to my feet while I&#39;m doing dishes. And so I was just having this like, I want them, oh I don&#39;t want them touching me. Gavin: 8:07 And the and the sound of my daughter going, Daddy, daddy, and I&#39;m and screaming. David: 8:13 And I go in there, I&#39;m like, what? She&#39;s like, my chapstick is weird. And I&#39;m like, I will push you in front of a bus. So I was just thinking about it because I know I know I harp on it, because I I want older parents to understand what we&#39;re still going through. And I want us to find a way to make it happen. Because obviously the solution is to bottle it up. But you can&#39;t bring your cake with you. Once you&#39;re once they&#39;re 18, they take away the cake. You never get to it again until your grandparent. Gavin: 8:38 Yeah, you barely get to have any cake ever, ever again. Um, I think that um your metaphor is it&#39;s nice and cute and everything, and you&#39;re just gonna have to make peace with all of it. I mean, it does kind of remind me of um, or does this remind me? Oh, yeah, yes, yes. I was thinking about the way uh you&#39;re you&#39;re being whined, hey daddy, daddy, and it&#39;s just complete nonsense that&#39;s coming out of their mouths. I had a little bit of a tiff this weekend with my daughter where um I asked her to clean the toilet. It it is her, this is her year of toilet cleaning. Um my son cleaned it for two years. This is her toilet era. She&#39;s in her toiletta era, we&#39;ll call it. Um, and I can&#39;t wait to tell her that because we have because of our septic system, because we live out in the countryside, um We know. David: 9:21 We heard the cold open where chickens were literally wandering into your recording studio. Gavin: 9:26 They were they were very, very upset. But um anyway, she was she just conveniently didn&#39;t clean the toilet before about 75 times that I made the request. And then when she did, and or rather, finally by the end of the day, she was so exasperated with me for making the request for the 750th time. She goes, Can I just get a break? And I&#39;m like, from what exactly? What is oppressing you in your life on this casual Sunday where you had almost nothing to do, and now it&#39;s 9:30 p.m. You&#39;ve already taken a shower, meaning you stood next to the shower toilet and stared in that toilet that you did not clean. Anyway, but my point is nothing except that can we get a break? And I&#39;m like, you know who needs a break is children in Kiev. They need a break. Wow. Way to bring it to a dark place. Wow. Children in my household don&#39;t need a break. They need to uh get with the plans. David: 10:26 Anything else you want to talk about with Israel or Palestine or Charlie Kirk? Do you want to mention anything like that? I almost did say Gaza, but um Um wait, speaking of not Gaza, um, I watched a TikTok and it was talking about how you should never ask your kids more than twice. And it was like you ask them the first time, and if they don&#39;t do it, you ask them the second time. And if they don&#39;t the second time, and then you throw their bet out the window. You throw their bed out the window, or you take the thing away from them, or you cancel the outing or whatever. And it was like really adamant. And of course, my brain, all of our brains, who&#39;s listening, all of our listener right now is thinking, yeah, but then what about the 25-minute tantrum afterwards? What about ruining the weekend at grandma&#39;s or whatever? Yeah. And literally I opened the comments, top comment with a billion likes was like, yeah, but what about the 25-minute tantrum afterwards? But I decided now that I&#39;m solo dad, which we&#39;ve talked about before in previous episodes, where it&#39;s almost easier to be a solo dad because you&#39;re almost almost easier. I&#39;m trying it. So I told the kids, I sat them down and said, This, these next four days, when it&#39;s just daddy, I will ask you two times. I will ask you the first time, I will touch your hand and then remind you the second time and remind you if you don&#39;t do it, what is gonna happen? And 70% of the time they have fallen in line, but the 30% of the time they haven&#39;t, I have taken the thing away swiftly and calmly, and they&#39;ve lost their goddamn minds. Uh-huh. But I&#39;m holding on to it because, you know, when I&#39;m a solo dad, sometimes it&#39;s easier to deal with some of these meltdowns. So I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m sticking with it for this this four days. So next week will check back in with me to see if I have gotten any more gray hairs or left my family completely. Gavin: 11:55 Um, this is a really great dad hack of the week, by the way, is the ask twice and then go nuclear. But um, I mean, you know what? I&#39;m gonna take that as a personal challenge. I am not going to because the bat excuse me, bedrooms, part of their chores, were neither of them were cleaned yesterday, like they&#39;re supposed to be on Sunday. And um, and I asked them 75 times. And so I have been thinking, how am I gonna deal with it today when they get home from school? David: 12:20 And it basically says, let me just tell you what the framework was. It was basically like, make sure that you do it very when you take away the thing, you&#39;re super calm, you&#39;re not angry, you don&#39;t raise your voice. And the other thing was make sure that they understand that this is a new change because after the second time, I will not ask again and you will lose the thing, and there will be no negotiations, but I will do it kindly. And it was basically saying, You&#39;re good, you&#39;re gonna get meltdowns, but the kids push and push and push to see where that line is, and that&#39;s what they&#39;re chasing after. So your kids are chasing after that line, and at 75 times it&#39;s still not happening. So now make a hardcore. You, you and your husband are gonna be at the third time, when it&#39;s the third time, that&#39;s it. Gavin: 12:59 But but in still beating this dead horse, because we&#39;re good at that, what would you do? Which is when they put it off all day long and they say, No, I&#39;ll get to it later, no, I&#39;ll get to it later. Then when do you when when do the repercussions come on because suddenly it&#39;s 9 30 at night and it still hasn&#39;t been done? And so then I&#39;m left with either I&#39;m gonna take away the thing tomorrow, which of course always means a phone, and then we have a meltdown at night. Like I should have just said that&#39;s too far away. David: 13:26 I think you give them a time. You say you need to do this by noon....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, doctors want David&apos;s advice, Gavin&apos;s kids are too cool for Halloween, David recaps the Men Having Babies conference, we rank the top 3 most inappropriate Halloween costumes for grown ass men, and we remind all of our listener about o]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, doctors want David&apos;s advice, Gavin&apos;s kids are too cool for Halloween, David recaps the Men Having Babies conference, we rank the top 3 most inappropriate Halloween costumes for grown ass men, and we remind all of our listener about our upcoming Halloween party with the Queer Family Podcast! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Wait. Are you ready? Yes, but I have no idea where my windows are here. I&#39;ve got to I mean I I am not bullshitting. I have wait, what am I recording on? I&#39;m recording on Chrome. Um and I have a chicken climbing in here. Get out of here, chicken! I still have no idea where these windows are. David: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin, one of the things I do a lot on this show is I complain about something repeatedly and I don&#39;t change anything about it. So I want to bring something like that up. Yeah. Gavin: 0:47 Because that would be way too productive. We are nothing if not hypocrites. It&#39;s more fun to complain. Can you imagine your life without something to complain about? David: 0:55 Well, that&#39;s unimaginable. This podcast would be about eight seconds long. So I went to the dentist because my son has shark teeth. Do you know what shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:05 Baby shark teeth. Baby shark shark teeth. David: 1:12 Um, do you know what baby like shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:14 I just assume super sharp um canines or something. David: 1:17 No, it&#39;s when the new tooth grows in behind the like the baby tooth before the baby tooth falls out. So you have like a second row of teeth. Gavin: 1:25 I mean, we we are nothing, if not America&#39;s finest news source. David: 1:29 Yeah. Gavin: 1:30 I did not know that, frankly, I didn&#39;t know that existed. Yeah. And that it has a very, very technical name. David: 1:36 Yes. So my son had this, and we called the dentist, and she basically said, let it sit for a couple weeks. If his front tooth doesn&#39;t fall out, come in and we&#39;ll have to probably extract them. So nothing happened. So we go to the dentist. And the dentist basically says, Well, there&#39;s two options. We can extract them, like we can pull out the front teeth, or we can just let the teeth fall out naturally and just be way later. Um, what would you like to do? I said, ma&#39;am, I have a degree in musical theater from Florida State University. I am not qualified to cross the street alone, let alone make medical decisions. I feel like every doctor in my life constantly says, What do you want to do? And I have to constantly remind them I am an unemployed homosexual who should not be trusted with such decisions. Gavin: 2:27 What the homosexual has nothing to do with your inability or general ineptitude in life. You are just plain that. You know, that goes beyond just doctors, though. I have to say there are specialists in my professional life that sometimes say to me, What do you think you should do? And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m literally paying you to tell me what to do. I do not know in this circumstance. If you want me, if you want me to give you advice on a calling my children bad names and feeling really bad about it, to unfortunately behind their backs, but so they hear it, I have plenty of advice on that. I have plenty of advice on, yeah, tap dancing and raising chickens. And none of it is very good advice. But I agree with you entirely. This happens to me all the time. David: 3:09 I can&#39;t, but like I just, I I it must be an insurance issue because I feel like culturally this is new within the last 10 years, where I&#39;m getting doctors constantly asking me, well, what do you want to do? And I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t want a decision. If if I feel strongly about something you&#39;re recommending, I will speak up. If you say, I think we should pull the teeth, and I go, Well, I don&#39;t know, you know, then we can have a conversation. I&#39;m I just want you to tell me what to do. Also, my son is like quivering in the chair because he&#39;s like, Am I gonna get my teeth yanked out by this woman today? Or am I gonna get to go home and have a lollipop? Gavin: 3:39 So and it all and it all based is based upon my daddy making the decision for me, which also makes him quiver. David: 3:46 It would be my daddy with a with who does musical theater at Florida State University. Gavin: 3:50 It&#39;s it&#39;s insane. It would be kind of sad if you didn&#39;t have that natural, that, that, that benchmark moment of parenthood, though, of losing the first tooth. Is he just on his first teeth? He hasn&#39;t lost a single teeth. David: 4:02 Yeah, he hasn&#39;t lost a single tooth yet. And of course, all his friends have multiple teeth missing. Although one of those shark teeth front teeth, the baby teeth in front of the shark tooth, is super wiggly now. And he&#39;s obsessed. He&#39;s like, when is it gonna fall out? I want it to fall out, I want it to fall out. Um, so I don&#39;t know. I was like, oh yeah, well, one of your body parts is gonna fall out, and a stranger is gonna come to your bedroom at night and take your biological material from you and leave you a dollar. Gavin: 4:25 But if he so I mean, it is October right now, and uh theoretically you could have two open front teeth, and he could, you know, be really cute for Christmas, that that&#39;s all he wants. But you&#39;re saying that his shark teeth are already coming in. So he&#39;ll go from having teeth to having teeth. He won&#39;t even have gaps. David: 4:43 I mean, they have to like move forward into the gap, so it&#39;s gonna look a little like meth head from Florida for a while. Um, but uh I think it&#39;ll be fine. Which your opinion on that matter is actually quite well educated. So expert. I&#39;m an expert. So I obviously chose not to do anything because it was the cheaper option. But she did say she goes, it&#39;s fine, just let it fall out naturally as long as he&#39;s not in pain. So but and you didn&#39;t have a coupon that day for it, so correct. And I do, as we know, I am a discount queen. I do not pay full price for anything. Gavin: 5:10 Um speaking of queens, um, I see on the outline here you want to bring up a topic that I read as cake anal a G. David: 5:18 Uh, what is cake anal a G? Well, I was actually gonna have a really nice smooth transition before you ignored me um and interrupted me. But uh, yes, uh speaking of beating dead horses, which was gonna be, you know, I&#39;m Gaben, you know I&#39;m obsessed with this chasm between parents where the young parents are tired and exhausted and want space, and then the older parents are like, just you wait. Um, right, uh uh you&#39;ll miss it. Y&#39;all gonna miss this, right? And like I&#39;m obsessed with this battle because I am like, somebody is not translating this. Like, what is happening? And I I&#39;ve come to the conclusion that it&#39;s mostly the older parents have dumped a lot of the trauma and are just keeping the cute little moments, right? Gavin: 6:00 And have for come have forgotten everything. Our memories are sieves, we don&#39;t remember any of it. We do see babies in the in the checkout aisle and think, uh, I could do that again. And in reality, you could you cannot do it again. David: 6:14 Especially at 50, Gavin. But um, so I I realized I think the best yes, the the best way I could describe it. And I don&#39;t know why I keep trying to figure out the best way to describe this, is a is it&#39;s an analogy using cake. Imagine somebody says, guess what? You can eat cake today, and you&#39;re like, fuck, amazing. Let me eat some cake. And then the next day they&#39;re like, here&#39;s some more cake, and you&#39;re like, great. And it&#39;s like day 15, and you&#39;re like, I think I need a break from cake. And they&#39;re like, no, you have to eat cake now. And then one day you&#39;re eating cake and you&#39;re so full you&#39;re about to throw up, and somebody says, Here&#39;s more cake. You have nothing to do but eat cake, and you eat cake constantly. And then this guy walks in and he&#39;s older than you, and he goes, Yeah, I know you&#39;re tired of eating cake, but just wait. One day you&#39;re not gonna have any cake and you&#39;re gonna wish you had more cake. And then somebody shoves cake in your mouth. This is what it feels like. It feels like I recognize cake is delicious. I recognize that if this is taken away from me in three weeks, I will be desperate for a slice of cake. But I am slipping into a diabetic coma right now because I have had so much cake and I can&#39;t appreciate it because I don&#39;t have space from the cake. Gavin: 7:20 What moment this week threw you over the cake ledge to make you make this anal a G? Were you in a were you in a playground? Did was there some meltdown with your kids? Like what on earth made you deliver this? Bake this fancy metaphor. David: 7:39 Well, first of all, it&#39;s the weekend, so it&#39;s 24 hours a day for two days of non-stop kids. But B, I&#39;m solo daddy for the next four days. And so I&#39;m overwhelmed with trying to find clever ways to get in a different room than my children. And my children are outsmarting me. And when I say, like, hey, go play with these toys, they&#39;re like, Great, they go get the toys and they bring them next to my feet while I&#39;m doing dishes. And so I was just having this like, I want them, oh I don&#39;t want them touching me. Gavin: 8:07 And the and the sound of my daughter going, Daddy, daddy, and I&#39;m and screaming. David: 8:13 And I go in there, I&#39;m like, what? She&#39;s like, my chapstick is weird. And I&#39;m like, I will push you in front of a bus. So I was just thinking about it because I know I know I harp on it, because I I want older parents to understand what we&#39;re still going through. And I want us to find a way to make it happen. Because obviously the solution is to bottle it up. But you can&#39;t bring your cake with you. Once you&#39;re once they&#39;re 18, they take away the cake. You never get to it again until your grandparent. Gavin: 8:38 Yeah, you barely get to have any cake ever, ever again. Um, I think that um your metaphor is it&#39;s nice and cute and everything, and you&#39;re just gonna have to make peace with all of it. I mean, it does kind of remind me of um, or does this remind me? Oh, yeah, yes, yes. I was thinking about the way uh you&#39;re you&#39;re being whined, hey daddy, daddy, and it&#39;s just complete nonsense that&#39;s coming out of their mouths. I had a little bit of a tiff this weekend with my daughter where um I asked her to clean the toilet. It it is her, this is her year of toilet cleaning. Um my son cleaned it for two years. This is her toilet era. She&#39;s in her toiletta era, we&#39;ll call it. Um, and I can&#39;t wait to tell her that because we have because of our septic system, because we live out in the countryside, um We know. David: 9:21 We heard the cold open where chickens were literally wandering into your recording studio. Gavin: 9:26 They were they were very, very upset. But um anyway, she was she just conveniently didn&#39;t clean the toilet before about 75 times that I made the request. And then when she did, and or rather, finally by the end of the day, she was so exasperated with me for making the request for the 750th time. She goes, Can I just get a break? And I&#39;m like, from what exactly? What is oppressing you in your life on this casual Sunday where you had almost nothing to do, and now it&#39;s 9:30 p.m. You&#39;ve already taken a shower, meaning you stood next to the shower toilet and stared in that toilet that you did not clean. Anyway, but my point is nothing except that can we get a break? And I&#39;m like, you know who needs a break is children in Kiev. They need a break. Wow. Way to bring it to a dark place. Wow. Children in my household don&#39;t need a break. They need to uh get with the plans. David: 10:26 Anything else you want to talk about with Israel or Palestine or Charlie Kirk? Do you want to mention anything like that? I almost did say Gaza, but um Um wait, speaking of not Gaza, um, I watched a TikTok and it was talking about how you should never ask your kids more than twice. And it was like you ask them the first time, and if they don&#39;t do it, you ask them the second time. And if they don&#39;t the second time, and then you throw their bet out the window. You throw their bed out the window, or you take the thing away from them, or you cancel the outing or whatever. And it was like really adamant. And of course, my brain, all of our brains, who&#39;s listening, all of our listener right now is thinking, yeah, but then what about the 25-minute tantrum afterwards? What about ruining the weekend at grandma&#39;s or whatever? Yeah. And literally I opened the comments, top comment with a billion likes was like, yeah, but what about the 25-minute tantrum afterwards? But I decided now that I&#39;m solo dad, which we&#39;ve talked about before in previous episodes, where it&#39;s almost easier to be a solo dad because you&#39;re almost almost easier. I&#39;m trying it. So I told the kids, I sat them down and said, This, these next four days, when it&#39;s just daddy, I will ask you two times. I will ask you the first time, I will touch your hand and then remind you the second time and remind you if you don&#39;t do it, what is gonna happen? And 70% of the time they have fallen in line, but the 30% of the time they haven&#39;t, I have taken the thing away swiftly and calmly, and they&#39;ve lost their goddamn minds. Uh-huh. But I&#39;m holding on to it because, you know, when I&#39;m a solo dad, sometimes it&#39;s easier to deal with some of these meltdowns. So I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m sticking with it for this this four days. So next week will check back in with me to see if I have gotten any more gray hairs or left my family completely. Gavin: 11:55 Um, this is a really great dad hack of the week, by the way, is the ask twice and then go nuclear. But um, I mean, you know what? I&#39;m gonna take that as a personal challenge. I am not going to because the bat excuse me, bedrooms, part of their chores, were neither of them were cleaned yesterday, like they&#39;re supposed to be on Sunday. And um, and I asked them 75 times. And so I have been thinking, how am I gonna deal with it today when they get home from school? David: 12:20 And it basically says, let me just tell you what the framework was. It was basically like, make sure that you do it very when you take away the thing, you&#39;re super calm, you&#39;re not angry, you don&#39;t raise your voice. And the other thing was make sure that they understand that this is a new change because after the second time, I will not ask again and you will lose the thing, and there will be no negotiations, but I will do it kindly. And it was basically saying, You&#39;re good, you&#39;re gonna get meltdowns, but the kids push and push and push to see where that line is, and that&#39;s what they&#39;re chasing after. So your kids are chasing after that line, and at 75 times it&#39;s still not happening. So now make a hardcore. You, you and your husband are gonna be at the third time, when it&#39;s the third time, that&#39;s it. Gavin: 12:59 But but in still beating this dead horse, because we&#39;re good at that, what would you do? Which is when they put it off all day long and they say, No, I&#39;ll get to it later, no, I&#39;ll get to it later. Then when do you when when do the repercussions come on because suddenly it&#39;s 9 30 at night and it still hasn&#39;t been done? And so then I&#39;m left with either I&#39;m gonna take away the thing tomorrow, which of course always means a phone, and then we have a meltdown at night. Like I should have just said that&#39;s too far away. David: 13:26 I think you give them a time. You say you need to do this by noon....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, doctors want David&apos;s advice, Gavin&apos;s kids are too cool for Halloween, David recaps the Men Having Babies conference, we rank the top 3 most inappropriate Halloween costumes for grown ass men, and we remind all of our listener about our upcoming Halloween party with the Queer Family Podcast! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Wait. Are you ready? Yes, but I have no idea where my windows are here. I&#39;ve got to I mean I I am not bullshitting. I have wait, what am I recording on? I&#39;m recording on Chrome. Um and I have a chicken climbing in here. Get out of here, chicken! I still have no idea where these windows are. David: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin, one of the things I do a lot on this show is I complain about something repeatedly and I don&#39;t change anything about it. So I want to bring something like that up. Yeah. Gavin: 0:47 Because that would be way too productive. We are nothing if not hypocrites. It&#39;s more fun to complain. Can you imagine your life without something to complain about? David: 0:55 Well, that&#39;s unimaginable. This podcast would be about eight seconds long. So I went to the dentist because my son has shark teeth. Do you know what shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:05 Baby shark teeth. Baby shark shark teeth. David: 1:12 Um, do you know what baby like shark teeth are? Gavin: 1:14 I just assume super sharp um canines or something. David: 1:17 No, it&#39;s when the new tooth grows in behind the like the baby tooth before the baby tooth falls out. So you have like a second row of teeth. Gavin: 1:25 I mean, we we are nothing, if not America&#39;s finest news source. David: 1:29 Yeah. Gavin: 1:30 I did not know that, frankly, I didn&#39;t know that existed. Yeah. And that it has a very, very technical name. David: 1:36 Yes. So my son had this, and we called the dentist, and she basically said, let it sit for a couple weeks. If his front tooth doesn&#39;t fall out, come in and we&#39;ll have to probably extract them. So nothing happened. So we go to the dentist. And the dentist basically says, Well, there&#39;s two options. We can extract them, like we can pull out the front teeth, or we can just let the teeth fall out naturally and just be way later. Um, what would you like to do? I said, ma&#39;am, I have a degree in musical theater from Florida State University. I am not qualified to cross the street alone, let alone make medical decisions. I feel like every doctor in my life constantly says, What do you want to do? And I have to constantly remind them I am an unemployed homosexual who should not be trusted with such decisions. Gavin: 2:27 What the homosexual has nothing to do with your inability or general ineptitude in life. You are just plain that. You know, that goes beyond just doctors, though. I have to say there are specialists in my professional life that sometimes say to me, What do you think you should do? And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m literally paying you to tell me what to do. I do not know in this circumstance. If you want me, if you want me to give you advice on a calling my children bad names and feeling really bad about it, to unfortunately behind their backs, but so they hear it, I have plenty of advice on that. I have plenty of advice on, yeah, tap dancing and raising chickens. And none of it is very good advice. But I agree with you entirely. This happens to me all the time. David: 3:09 I can&#39;t, but like I just, I I it must be an insurance issue because I feel like culturally this is new within the last 10 years, where I&#39;m getting doctors constantly asking me, well, what do you want to do? And I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t want a decision. If if I feel strongly about something you&#39;re recommending, I will speak up. If you say, I think we should pull the teeth, and I go, Well, I don&#39;t know, you know, then we can have a conversation]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, doctors want David&apos;s advice, Gavin&apos;s kids are too cool for Halloween, David recaps the Men Having Babies conference, we rank the top 3 most inappropriate Halloween costumes for grown ass men, and we remind all of our listener about our upcoming Halloween party with the Queer Family Podcast! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Wait. Are you ready? Yes, but I have no idea where my windows are here. I&#39;ve got to I mean I I am not bullshitting. I have wait, what am I recording on? I&#39;m recording on Chrome. Um and I have a chicken climbing in here. Get out of here, chicken! I still have no idea where these windows are. David: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin, one of the things I do a lot on this show is I complain about something repeatedly and I don&#39;t change anything about it. So I want to bring something like that up. Yeah. Gavin: 0:47 ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with podcasters Bryan Ruiz and Jon Ruiz</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-podcasters-bryan-ruiz-and-jon-ruiz/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 24 Sep 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is half a century, David loves cakes, Gavin&apos;s kids are faking it, we announce our Halloween party cohosted with the Queer Family Podcast, we rank the top 3 witches, and this week we are joined by &#34;biological twin cousins&#34; Bryan and Jon Ruiz, who are hosts of their own gay podcast, &#34;Out Loud and Laughing,&#34; who laugh with us about having kids, not having kids, being gay, Florida avocado toast, and why the second kid is always the nightmare.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. Gavin: 0:01 That is our show. David: 0:07 Oh, and now you&#39;re shutting your mouth for the first time in fucking forever. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:26 So, David, um, I&#39;m commando right now. What? Do you you have okay? That was a great reaction. So I am curious to. This is completely unrelated to parenting, but it is like man stuff, all right? And maybe dad stuff. But my so much of my Instagram feed is just overloaded with selling me pants that I have never bought before, ever. But I um I found a pair of bird dogs. You know, you know about all of this. Yeah, bird dogs. And so I&#39;m wearing bird dogs right now, and I don&#39;t understand if you&#39;re just supposed to go completely underwearless or not, because it has that they they have the liner, right? But I feel like that just feels unclean to me. Who sat around and thought, you know what we should do is have dudes go around um commando, but fool them into thinking that they actually are wearing underwear? And well, Gabe, but things are. Like, are you not are you not scrubbing down there? I am absolutely but but listen, listen, listen. I I will say, okay, outing myself here, I&#39;m not necessarily somebody who wears a pair of pants for one day and immediately throws them in the laundry, you know? I wear it. Of course, I don&#39;t think anybody does that. Yeah. I wear jeans for eight months before I actually, right? Yeah. But that&#39;s because I&#39;m wearing underwear. But then these pants, you have to theoretically, you have to wash them every time because, you know, because things happen, right? David: 1:54 Guys, this is the kind of hard-hitting news that we start every episode of Gay G Arcs off with is real hard hitting, like underwear or not. Wait, I thought I didn&#39;t think we were recording. The only reason I like like I know what bird dogs is, is because they they have me. My Instagram feed has a chokehold on me because all they&#39;re doing is showing me guys with thick legs and big asses, and they&#39;re only showing me that part of their waist study. There&#39;s there&#39;s literally, they&#39;re like no need to see any other part of them. Who cares what they look like? But look at these massive thighs. That&#39;s how I know what bird dogs are. Gavin: 2:26 But um, so anyway, I mean I I am such a jeans guy, and but increasingly I&#39;m like, God, these are so uncomfortable. I mean, my kids won&#39;t wear jeans, they&#39;re they&#39;re like because they&#39;re uncomfortable. And I am from the 1950s when James Dean, everybody wants to be James Dean, right? So I wear jeans and I&#39;m like, these are uncomfortable. Why am I why am I wearing jeans? David: 2:48 I mean, remember our parents used to wear like suits in the house. Like a shh, yes, do you know what I mean? Like dad would sit by the old radio smoking his pipe in a fucking wool suit. Like comfort was not a part of it. But now it&#39;s all about athleisure, which I&#39;m totally into. Gavin: 3:06 Right. I mean, and I hear I complain about the lack of formality in my kids and the lack of formality in society. And no, nobody&#39;s got no class, name it. And um, and I lament it, and I feel like my kids dress like you know, uh just off the rack at Goodwill, and all the things at Goodwill they&#39;re finding is from hand-me-downs from old navy, which let&#39;s face it, thank God they&#39;re not actually spending money on anything nice. But but at the same time, why wear stuff that&#39;s uncomfortable? Why do we do that to ourselves? Is it just the church? Do you think it&#39;s the church just holding power over us? David: 3:40 No, Gavin, it&#39;s because you&#39;re about to be a half a century old. Do we have to talk about this? Let&#39;s talk about it because our listener needs to know how old you are. I mean, they could see it in your frown lines, but like, but like they can count the rings on your tree. Gavin: 3:54 But you saw this on the outline and I didn&#39;t get a chance to say, must we? Must we tomorrow, right? Tomorrow? I mean, if this goes out as scheduled, if the world doesn&#39;t completely melt down, which is a very high probability that I will not see my 50th birthday because everything&#39;s just gonna completely implode, which Yeah. David: 4:14 But if not, here&#39;s what we want our listener to do. Go to Gavin&#39;s personal page and wish him a happy 50th birthday by sending him a dick pic. And so I want every listener out there, whether or not you have a dick, send him a dick pic at Gavin Lodge on most things, because let&#39;s make this a birthday he&#39;ll always remember. And I would appreciate the same for my 46 next month. Let&#39;s try to get him 50 dick pics in his DMs. Do you think we could do that, everyone? This is listen, this episode we&#39;re gonna ask a lot of you, listener, and the first thing I want is a dick pic from you into Gavin&#39;s DMs. And let&#39;s see if we can get to 50. And we will let you know next week if we got 50 dick pics. You&#39;re welcome. Happy birthday, Gaven launch. Gavin: 4:58 You just pulled that out of your bird dogs for sure. That was well done. I can&#39;t wait to open my um. I mean, the thing is, we&#39;ve been sending them for 122 episodes. We&#39;ve been um misstating what my what email is or whatever, but yes, that is my Instagram. David: 5:16 That is that is his Instagram. Um, something else we&#39;re gonna ask of you, listener, is I know this is quite a quite a bit of ways, but next month, we at Gatriarchs are co-hosting a Halloween party with our friends at the Queer Family Podcast. Jamie Kelton at the Queer Family Podcast has reached out and said, Hey, should we do like a Halloween party together with like a bunch of gay families? Gavin: 5:38 And I think an excuse to get together. David: 5:40 And Gabin said, Is there a bar? And we said, Yes, there will be a bar. So he said yes. So next month, a Saturday, October 25th, we are going to be co-hosting a Halloween party. Now, this is two hours in Manhattan at Sugar Mouse. Um, there is a link in our bio to the eventbrite if you click on our bio. And it&#39;s just going to be a couple hours. You can come in costume if you want. We&#39;ll have candy for the kids. There&#39;s a full bar. There&#39;s like you can order food. Gavin: 6:07 You don&#39;t have to bring your kids if you don&#39;t want. You can get dressed up or not get dressed up. You can just show up and come hug us in in real life. Which, by the way, you say it&#39;s a really long ways away, David. But let&#39;s face it, it&#39;s basically December 31st already right now. So it&#39;s basically a different December. The party was two months ago. Sorry, you missed it. But yeah, anyway. David: 6:24 But um, we&#39;re excited to see us, you guys listener out there. Please come and join us, whether or not you&#39;re a parent or not, or whether or not you like us or not. Show up. Um, it&#39;ll be so fun. It&#39;s just two hours, four to six p.m. We&#39;ll have like a little runway uh for the kids, a little section where they can show off their costumes and like there&#39;s arcade games there. It&#39;s a really fun place. So please sign up on our Eventbrite, and uh we really hope to see you there. Gavin: 6:47 I I don&#39;t think you&#39;re actually touting just how cool this place is. Also, remember Sugar Mouse is it&#39;s basically like, well, it&#39;s not a Dave and Buster&#39;s exactly, but it&#39;s almost like old school games um and lots of I mean it is arcade style, but it&#39;s you know, it&#39;s a little more like, I don&#39;t know, downtown bluesy too, and um with like shuffleboard or whatever that game is called, and and foosball and you know, all sorts of cool things. And the kids get to run like run around like mad if they want. But um, and be sure, um, let David know in his DMs um how much you find the time inconvenient. Because that was a really big discussion amongst us whether we should do it from, hey, nine to eleven in the morning, twelve to two, four to six, and lots of discussions of nap time. And by nap time we mean David&#39;s because he is actually older in spirit than I am. So please let David know how unhappy you are with that time. David: 7:35 No, I chose this time because it was initially two to four, and I said, I still have a napping kid at home. I will not be coming to this. And they were like, What about four to six? I said, I will be there. So please join us uh four to six p.m. You could do it before your Broadway show. You can get a sitter. Don&#39;t bring the kids, who fucking cares about the kids? But there will be lots of kids there. Gavin: 7:51 So I do need to confess one thing about my kids this week, okay, David? David: 7:56 Okay. Gavin: 7:56 I so my son plays a lot of soccer. I spend a lot of time on soccer fields, and I really enjoy it. It&#39;s very fun. And he&#39;s very good, and boy, does he love soccer. But I have been noticing something of late. I think I don&#39;t know if any of those coaches, which by the way, one of his coaches I think does regularly listen to this, shout out listener Matt. Um, I don&#39;t know if this has been instilled in him or taught to him, or he&#39;s been observing it, but he&#39;s doing full-on Meryl Streep European style injuries. And I think exaggerating some of his falls occasionally, like when it looks like he&#39;s being tripped, he doesn&#39;t just fall down and do a face plant. He does like a triple LUT in the air. And then he does this amazing job. And now I am, I should not be um jinxing myself here because hey, the kid is hurt and he&#39;s tough and he pushes through pain, I think, quite quite well. But now sometimes I stand there and while the first time I saw him theoretically injured on the field, um, I couldn&#39;t breathe. And if somebody had said something to me, I would have immediately burst into tears because to see him hurt makes my my soul hurt desperately. But of late, I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna hold off because I&#39;m watching him not writhe around in agony, but he does a very slow like face down into the ground, and and I mean the whole team is kneeling around him, and then he pops up and he plays the rest of the game. I&#39;m just saying. Now, again, I do not want to put bad vibes out there into the sports, you know. David: 9:28 But that&#39;s part, isn&#39;t that part of but yes, like the the theater of it all is all. I mean, it&#39;s like, do you remember when Tanya Harding like put her boot up and then because she said her laces broke and she was like crying and she was like, My boot laces like isn&#39;t this part of the game in soccer? Gavin: 9:43 Direct relationship to soccer, yes, exactly. David: 9:45 Well, you were talking about soccer. I had to gay it up a little bit. Gavin: 9:48 Yeah, you I mean, you I mean, listen, soccer can be pretty gay. Uh, but those you need the referees to come make calls in your favor, you know, and you, I mean, they&#39;re from a very young age, whenever they miss a call that they think is wrong, I mean, every single one of my kids does the kind of like throw their hands up like, what the to the referee. And um, the referees do a good job of um ignoring it. But anyway, I will report back later if I um if I&#39;m possibly able to see, you know, like is this is this just really good at fine acting or um or not, you know? David: 10:19 I think I think it is. I think there&#39;s like little fine-tuning where like, yes, you actually got your shin got kicked, but also I could probably dial up the volume a little bit if it if it benefits me. Um, you know what will also benefit us is our listener. So Gavin and I were tossing around ideas for episodes that we could do um in the future, what could be fun. We, as you know, never plan ahead on this podcast, but we were actually thinking about the future, and I was thinking, wouldn&#39;t it be really fun for our special guests to be a few of our listener? And I was like, if maybe we do like quick five-minute interviews with, I don&#39;t know, our top five listener. And I thought that would be kind of a fun thing. So we&#39;re gonna put it out to you all, listener. If you&#39;re interested, would it be fun to be our guest on the episode? We&#39;ll do, I don&#39;t know, a couple, or we&#39;ll try to figure out how many of you are interested. And we&#39;ll do like a quick five-minute rapid fire interview of you all, and then we&#39;ll do a whole episode devoted to our listener, our devoted listener who&#39;s been with us for now 123 episodes. We want to do it for you. So if you&#39;re interested, if you want to kind of be a guest on Gate Yarks, please DM us. First of all, first DM Gabin your dick pig, and then DM Gate Yarks if you&#39;d be interested. And we&#39;ll make it happen. I think it could be really fun. Gavin: 11:32 All right, all right. So um looking at our outline here, because we are prepared and we do our homework, David, it looks like you might have a dad hack of the week. David: 11:40 I actually do, and my husband reminded me of this this morning, and it&#39;s a thing I found on TikTok, which is obviously everything I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life, I&#39;ve found on TikTok, whether I baked it or it&#39;s a parenting hack or whatever. But I decided to try it because our dinner times, I don&#39;t know about yours, are just always terrible. It&#39;s always hard to get anything out of my children. Um, as far as what they did that day. I&#39;m like, hey, what happened at school? They&#39;re like nothing. And I was like, I saw a photo of you holding an alligator. Yep. Um and so um I saw this TikTok act and I was like, fuck it, I&#39;ll try it. Gavin, it works like a charm, and we will be keeping it for the indefinite future. The game is called, and if you&#39;ve seen this, you&#39;ve you&#39;ve seen this, High Low Buffalo. And what it is is you go around the table and each person says a high of their day. It sounds very like like corporate speak, but you say something that good happened to you today, something your low is something that is bad that happened to you or something that made you sad. And your buffalo is something you just make up. So I&#39;ll say, my high today was I had a really good workout and I felt really good about myself. My low was I just um I had a really bad headache and it wouldn&#39;t go away for a couple hours. And my buffalo is I flew to space today. And the kids laugh and they think it&#39;s so funny. It has been magical. I have found out stuff that&#39;s gone on at my kids&#39; school. I found out that a kid was bullying my kid. I found out what my daughter had for lunch. Like there&#39;s stuff that they would have never told me had it not been in the context of this game. So this game has worked really well for us. Gavin: 13:07 I wish um I had had this dad hack 10 years ago, uh, but I will actually see what I can do with my twins, uh, twins, with my teens as well. Um, I uh it&#39;s it&#39;s just absolutely pulling teeth to get them to tell me anything, just yeah, everything&#39;s fine, which I guess is good. I mean, hopefully that they&#39;re not. David: 13:23 Yeah, but then when you start actually getting information from them, you&#39;re like, it wasn&#39;t all fine. There were really...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is half a century, David loves cakes, Gavin&apos;s kids are faking it, we announce our Halloween party cohosted with the Queer Family Podcast, we rank the top 3 witches, and this week we are joined by &#34;biological twin cousins&#34; Br]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is half a century, David loves cakes, Gavin&apos;s kids are faking it, we announce our Halloween party cohosted with the Queer Family Podcast, we rank the top 3 witches, and this week we are joined by &#34;biological twin cousins&#34; Bryan and Jon Ruiz, who are hosts of their own gay podcast, &#34;Out Loud and Laughing,&#34; who laugh with us about having kids, not having kids, being gay, Florida avocado toast, and why the second kid is always the nightmare.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. Gavin: 0:01 That is our show. David: 0:07 Oh, and now you&#39;re shutting your mouth for the first time in fucking forever. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:26 So, David, um, I&#39;m commando right now. What? Do you you have okay? That was a great reaction. So I am curious to. This is completely unrelated to parenting, but it is like man stuff, all right? And maybe dad stuff. But my so much of my Instagram feed is just overloaded with selling me pants that I have never bought before, ever. But I um I found a pair of bird dogs. You know, you know about all of this. Yeah, bird dogs. And so I&#39;m wearing bird dogs right now, and I don&#39;t understand if you&#39;re just supposed to go completely underwearless or not, because it has that they they have the liner, right? But I feel like that just feels unclean to me. Who sat around and thought, you know what we should do is have dudes go around um commando, but fool them into thinking that they actually are wearing underwear? And well, Gabe, but things are. Like, are you not are you not scrubbing down there? I am absolutely but but listen, listen, listen. I I will say, okay, outing myself here, I&#39;m not necessarily somebody who wears a pair of pants for one day and immediately throws them in the laundry, you know? I wear it. Of course, I don&#39;t think anybody does that. Yeah. I wear jeans for eight months before I actually, right? Yeah. But that&#39;s because I&#39;m wearing underwear. But then these pants, you have to theoretically, you have to wash them every time because, you know, because things happen, right? David: 1:54 Guys, this is the kind of hard-hitting news that we start every episode of Gay G Arcs off with is real hard hitting, like underwear or not. Wait, I thought I didn&#39;t think we were recording. The only reason I like like I know what bird dogs is, is because they they have me. My Instagram feed has a chokehold on me because all they&#39;re doing is showing me guys with thick legs and big asses, and they&#39;re only showing me that part of their waist study. There&#39;s there&#39;s literally, they&#39;re like no need to see any other part of them. Who cares what they look like? But look at these massive thighs. That&#39;s how I know what bird dogs are. Gavin: 2:26 But um, so anyway, I mean I I am such a jeans guy, and but increasingly I&#39;m like, God, these are so uncomfortable. I mean, my kids won&#39;t wear jeans, they&#39;re they&#39;re like because they&#39;re uncomfortable. And I am from the 1950s when James Dean, everybody wants to be James Dean, right? So I wear jeans and I&#39;m like, these are uncomfortable. Why am I why am I wearing jeans? David: 2:48 I mean, remember our parents used to wear like suits in the house. Like a shh, yes, do you know what I mean? Like dad would sit by the old radio smoking his pipe in a fucking wool suit. Like comfort was not a part of it. But now it&#39;s all about athleisure, which I&#39;m totally into. Gavin: 3:06 Right. I mean, and I hear I complain about the lack of formality in my kids and the lack of formality in society. And no, nobody&#39;s got no class, name it. And um, and I lament it, and I feel like my kids dress like you know, uh just off the rack at Goodwill, and all the things at Goodwill they&#39;re finding is from hand-me-downs from old navy, which let&#39;s face it, thank God they&#39;re not actually spending money on anything nice. But but at the same time, why wear stuff that&#39;s uncomfortable? Why do we do that to ourselves? Is it just the church? Do you think it&#39;s the church just holding power over us? David: 3:40 No, Gavin, it&#39;s because you&#39;re about to be a half a century old. Do we have to talk about this? Let&#39;s talk about it because our listener needs to know how old you are. I mean, they could see it in your frown lines, but like, but like they can count the rings on your tree. Gavin: 3:54 But you saw this on the outline and I didn&#39;t get a chance to say, must we? Must we tomorrow, right? Tomorrow? I mean, if this goes out as scheduled, if the world doesn&#39;t completely melt down, which is a very high probability that I will not see my 50th birthday because everything&#39;s just gonna completely implode, which Yeah. David: 4:14 But if not, here&#39;s what we want our listener to do. Go to Gavin&#39;s personal page and wish him a happy 50th birthday by sending him a dick pic. And so I want every listener out there, whether or not you have a dick, send him a dick pic at Gavin Lodge on most things, because let&#39;s make this a birthday he&#39;ll always remember. And I would appreciate the same for my 46 next month. Let&#39;s try to get him 50 dick pics in his DMs. Do you think we could do that, everyone? This is listen, this episode we&#39;re gonna ask a lot of you, listener, and the first thing I want is a dick pic from you into Gavin&#39;s DMs. And let&#39;s see if we can get to 50. And we will let you know next week if we got 50 dick pics. You&#39;re welcome. Happy birthday, Gaven launch. Gavin: 4:58 You just pulled that out of your bird dogs for sure. That was well done. I can&#39;t wait to open my um. I mean, the thing is, we&#39;ve been sending them for 122 episodes. We&#39;ve been um misstating what my what email is or whatever, but yes, that is my Instagram. David: 5:16 That is that is his Instagram. Um, something else we&#39;re gonna ask of you, listener, is I know this is quite a quite a bit of ways, but next month, we at Gatriarchs are co-hosting a Halloween party with our friends at the Queer Family Podcast. Jamie Kelton at the Queer Family Podcast has reached out and said, Hey, should we do like a Halloween party together with like a bunch of gay families? Gavin: 5:38 And I think an excuse to get together. David: 5:40 And Gabin said, Is there a bar? And we said, Yes, there will be a bar. So he said yes. So next month, a Saturday, October 25th, we are going to be co-hosting a Halloween party. Now, this is two hours in Manhattan at Sugar Mouse. Um, there is a link in our bio to the eventbrite if you click on our bio. And it&#39;s just going to be a couple hours. You can come in costume if you want. We&#39;ll have candy for the kids. There&#39;s a full bar. There&#39;s like you can order food. Gavin: 6:07 You don&#39;t have to bring your kids if you don&#39;t want. You can get dressed up or not get dressed up. You can just show up and come hug us in in real life. Which, by the way, you say it&#39;s a really long ways away, David. But let&#39;s face it, it&#39;s basically December 31st already right now. So it&#39;s basically a different December. The party was two months ago. Sorry, you missed it. But yeah, anyway. David: 6:24 But um, we&#39;re excited to see us, you guys listener out there. Please come and join us, whether or not you&#39;re a parent or not, or whether or not you like us or not. Show up. Um, it&#39;ll be so fun. It&#39;s just two hours, four to six p.m. We&#39;ll have like a little runway uh for the kids, a little section where they can show off their costumes and like there&#39;s arcade games there. It&#39;s a really fun place. So please sign up on our Eventbrite, and uh we really hope to see you there. Gavin: 6:47 I I don&#39;t think you&#39;re actually touting just how cool this place is. Also, remember Sugar Mouse is it&#39;s basically like, well, it&#39;s not a Dave and Buster&#39;s exactly, but it&#39;s almost like old school games um and lots of I mean it is arcade style, but it&#39;s you know, it&#39;s a little more like, I don&#39;t know, downtown bluesy too, and um with like shuffleboard or whatever that game is called, and and foosball and you know, all sorts of cool things. And the kids get to run like run around like mad if they want. But um, and be sure, um, let David know in his DMs um how much you find the time inconvenient. Because that was a really big discussion amongst us whether we should do it from, hey, nine to eleven in the morning, twelve to two, four to six, and lots of discussions of nap time. And by nap time we mean David&#39;s because he is actually older in spirit than I am. So please let David know how unhappy you are with that time. David: 7:35 No, I chose this time because it was initially two to four, and I said, I still have a napping kid at home. I will not be coming to this. And they were like, What about four to six? I said, I will be there. So please join us uh four to six p.m. You could do it before your Broadway show. You can get a sitter. Don&#39;t bring the kids, who fucking cares about the kids? But there will be lots of kids there. Gavin: 7:51 So I do need to confess one thing about my kids this week, okay, David? David: 7:56 Okay. Gavin: 7:56 I so my son plays a lot of soccer. I spend a lot of time on soccer fields, and I really enjoy it. It&#39;s very fun. And he&#39;s very good, and boy, does he love soccer. But I have been noticing something of late. I think I don&#39;t know if any of those coaches, which by the way, one of his coaches I think does regularly listen to this, shout out listener Matt. Um, I don&#39;t know if this has been instilled in him or taught to him, or he&#39;s been observing it, but he&#39;s doing full-on Meryl Streep European style injuries. And I think exaggerating some of his falls occasionally, like when it looks like he&#39;s being tripped, he doesn&#39;t just fall down and do a face plant. He does like a triple LUT in the air. And then he does this amazing job. And now I am, I should not be um jinxing myself here because hey, the kid is hurt and he&#39;s tough and he pushes through pain, I think, quite quite well. But now sometimes I stand there and while the first time I saw him theoretically injured on the field, um, I couldn&#39;t breathe. And if somebody had said something to me, I would have immediately burst into tears because to see him hurt makes my my soul hurt desperately. But of late, I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna hold off because I&#39;m watching him not writhe around in agony, but he does a very slow like face down into the ground, and and I mean the whole team is kneeling around him, and then he pops up and he plays the rest of the game. I&#39;m just saying. Now, again, I do not want to put bad vibes out there into the sports, you know. David: 9:28 But that&#39;s part, isn&#39;t that part of but yes, like the the theater of it all is all. I mean, it&#39;s like, do you remember when Tanya Harding like put her boot up and then because she said her laces broke and she was like crying and she was like, My boot laces like isn&#39;t this part of the game in soccer? Gavin: 9:43 Direct relationship to soccer, yes, exactly. David: 9:45 Well, you were talking about soccer. I had to gay it up a little bit. Gavin: 9:48 Yeah, you I mean, you I mean, listen, soccer can be pretty gay. Uh, but those you need the referees to come make calls in your favor, you know, and you, I mean, they&#39;re from a very young age, whenever they miss a call that they think is wrong, I mean, every single one of my kids does the kind of like throw their hands up like, what the to the referee. And um, the referees do a good job of um ignoring it. But anyway, I will report back later if I um if I&#39;m possibly able to see, you know, like is this is this just really good at fine acting or um or not, you know? David: 10:19 I think I think it is. I think there&#39;s like little fine-tuning where like, yes, you actually got your shin got kicked, but also I could probably dial up the volume a little bit if it if it benefits me. Um, you know what will also benefit us is our listener. So Gavin and I were tossing around ideas for episodes that we could do um in the future, what could be fun. We, as you know, never plan ahead on this podcast, but we were actually thinking about the future, and I was thinking, wouldn&#39;t it be really fun for our special guests to be a few of our listener? And I was like, if maybe we do like quick five-minute interviews with, I don&#39;t know, our top five listener. And I thought that would be kind of a fun thing. So we&#39;re gonna put it out to you all, listener. If you&#39;re interested, would it be fun to be our guest on the episode? We&#39;ll do, I don&#39;t know, a couple, or we&#39;ll try to figure out how many of you are interested. And we&#39;ll do like a quick five-minute rapid fire interview of you all, and then we&#39;ll do a whole episode devoted to our listener, our devoted listener who&#39;s been with us for now 123 episodes. We want to do it for you. So if you&#39;re interested, if you want to kind of be a guest on Gate Yarks, please DM us. First of all, first DM Gabin your dick pig, and then DM Gate Yarks if you&#39;d be interested. And we&#39;ll make it happen. I think it could be really fun. Gavin: 11:32 All right, all right. So um looking at our outline here, because we are prepared and we do our homework, David, it looks like you might have a dad hack of the week. David: 11:40 I actually do, and my husband reminded me of this this morning, and it&#39;s a thing I found on TikTok, which is obviously everything I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life, I&#39;ve found on TikTok, whether I baked it or it&#39;s a parenting hack or whatever. But I decided to try it because our dinner times, I don&#39;t know about yours, are just always terrible. It&#39;s always hard to get anything out of my children. Um, as far as what they did that day. I&#39;m like, hey, what happened at school? They&#39;re like nothing. And I was like, I saw a photo of you holding an alligator. Yep. Um and so um I saw this TikTok act and I was like, fuck it, I&#39;ll try it. Gavin, it works like a charm, and we will be keeping it for the indefinite future. The game is called, and if you&#39;ve seen this, you&#39;ve you&#39;ve seen this, High Low Buffalo. And what it is is you go around the table and each person says a high of their day. It sounds very like like corporate speak, but you say something that good happened to you today, something your low is something that is bad that happened to you or something that made you sad. And your buffalo is something you just make up. So I&#39;ll say, my high today was I had a really good workout and I felt really good about myself. My low was I just um I had a really bad headache and it wouldn&#39;t go away for a couple hours. And my buffalo is I flew to space today. And the kids laugh and they think it&#39;s so funny. It has been magical. I have found out stuff that&#39;s gone on at my kids&#39; school. I found out that a kid was bullying my kid. I found out what my daughter had for lunch. Like there&#39;s stuff that they would have never told me had it not been in the context of this game. So this game has worked really well for us. Gavin: 13:07 I wish um I had had this dad hack 10 years ago, uh, but I will actually see what I can do with my twins, uh, twins, with my teens as well. Um, I uh it&#39;s it&#39;s just absolutely pulling teeth to get them to tell me anything, just yeah, everything&#39;s fine, which I guess is good. I mean, hopefully that they&#39;re not. David: 13:23 Yeah, but then when you start actually getting information from them, you&#39;re like, it wasn&#39;t all fine. There were really...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is half a century, David loves cakes, Gavin&apos;s kids are faking it, we announce our Halloween party cohosted with the Queer Family Podcast, we rank the top 3 witches, and this week we are joined by &#34;biological twin cousins&#34; Bryan and Jon Ruiz, who are hosts of their own gay podcast, &#34;Out Loud and Laughing,&#34; who laugh with us about having kids, not having kids, being gay, Florida avocado toast, and why the second kid is always the nightmare.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. Gavin: 0:01 That is our show. David: 0:07 Oh, and now you&#39;re shutting your mouth for the first time in fucking forever. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:26 So, David, um, I&#39;m commando right now. What? Do you you have okay? That was a great reaction. So I am curious to. This is completely unrelated to parenting, but it is like man stuff, all right? And maybe dad stuff. But my so much of my Instagram feed is just overloaded with selling me pants that I have never bought before, ever. But I um I found a pair of bird dogs. You know, you know about all of this. Yeah, bird dogs. And so I&#39;m wearing bird dogs right now, and I don&#39;t understand if you&#39;re just supposed to go completely underwearless or not, because it has that they they have the liner, right? But I feel like that just feels unclean to me. Who sat around and thought, you know what we should do is have dudes go around um commando, but fool them into thinking that they actually are wearing underwear? And well, Gabe, but things are. Like, are you not are you not scrubbing down there? I am absolutely but but listen, listen, listen. I I will say, okay, outing myself here, I&#39;m not necessarily somebody who wears a pair of pants for one day and immediately throws them in the laundry, you know? I wear it. Of course, I don&#39;t think anybody does that. Yeah. I wear jeans for eight months before I actually, right? Yeah. But that&#39;s because I&#39;m wearing underwear. But then these pants, you have to theoretically, you have to wash them every time because, you know, because things happen, right? David: 1:54 Guys, this is the kind of hard-hitting news that we start every episode of Gay G Arcs off with is real hard hitting, like underwear or not. Wait, I thought I didn&#39;t think we were recording. The only reason I like like I know what bird dogs is, is because they they have me. My Instagram feed has a chokehold on me because all they&#39;re doing is showing me guys with thick legs and big asses, and they&#39;re only showing me that part of their waist study. There&#39;s there&#39;s literally, they&#39;re like no need to see any other part of them. Who cares what they look like? But look at these massive thighs. That&#39;s how I know what bird dogs are. Gavin: 2:26 But um, so anyway, I mean I I am such a jeans guy, and but increasingly I&#39;m like, God, these are so uncomfortable. I mean, my kids won&#39;t wear jeans, they&#39;re they&#39;re like because they&#39;re uncomfortable. And I am from the 1950s when James Dean, everybody wants to be James Dean, right? So I wear jeans and I&#39;m like, these are uncomfortable. Why am I why am I wearing jeans? David: 2:48 I mean, remember our parents used to wear like suits in the house. Like a shh, yes, do you know what I mean? Like dad would sit by the old radio smoking his pipe in a fucking wool suit. Like comfort was not a part of it. But now it&#39;s all about athleisure, which I&#39;m totally into. Gavin: 3:06 Right. I mean, and I hear I complain about the lack of formality in my kids and the lack of formality in society. And no, nobody&#39;s got no class, name it. And um, and I lament it, and I feel like my kids dress like you know, uh just off the rack at Goodwill, and all the things at Goodwill they&#39;re finding is from hand-me-downs from old navy, w]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is half a century, David loves cakes, Gavin&apos;s kids are faking it, we announce our Halloween party cohosted with the Queer Family Podcast, we rank the top 3 witches, and this week we are joined by &#34;biological twin cousins&#34; Bryan and Jon Ruiz, who are hosts of their own gay podcast, &#34;Out Loud and Laughing,&#34; who laugh with us about having kids, not having kids, being gay, Florida avocado toast, and why the second kid is always the nightmare.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. Gavin: 0:01 That is our show. David: 0:07 Oh, and now you&#39;re shutting your mouth for the first time in fucking forever. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:26 So, David, um, I&#39;m commando right now. What? Do you you have okay? That was a great reaction. So I am curious to. This is completely unrelated to parenting, but it is like]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with pastor Steve Jungkeit</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-pastor-steve-jungkeit/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 Sep 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, 6 is the new 13, David wins therapy, we rank the top 3 jokes, and this week hell has frozen over because our guest is none other than a man of the cloth, Steve Jungkeit, who talks to us about being a leader of a politically passionate church, he spars with David about his anti-theism, how he reconciles the things his religion teaches him that he doesn&apos;t necessarily believe in, and how he feels about the gays stealing the rainbow from god himself. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Us out of catriarchist. That&#39;s not like a sexual thing. Do you think? What eating a Belgian waffle? Gavin: 0:06 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. It just it you just said are you having sweet effect. David: 0:27 David, you are my mentor when it comes to older children. So I have a question for you. Um I&#39;m here for it. Are does teenager attitude start at six? I think joking aside, I think for us it was three, actually. Okay, because my child turned six last month. Uh-huh. And on a fucking dime, he went from like cutesy, like fun, was played games to like eye roll, like eye rolls. On like, but like on stuff that I do day to day that makes him laugh. He&#39;s like humiliated. Today we were walking to school and I was holding his hand, and I started like humming the K-pop demon hunter song because he loves it and we love it. And he goes, he yanked my hand and goes, stop it. And he&#39;s like looking around at all the other kids. I was like, bitch, first of all, I&#39;m the coolest motherfucker on this property. Anyone here, yes. I was in one Broadway show one time. But also, there&#39;s just like last night, he was like screaming, he&#39;s like, I don&#39;t even like you. Like, I it was like, wait, this happens at 14, no, not at six. Gavin: 1:34 No, it&#39;s tweenhood, man. Tweenhood. I forget, do you allow him on social media? Is he seeing how other people live their lives yet? David: 1:43 No, he has a he has an Instagram handle, but it&#39;s like a private account that we run and we just post pictures of him, but he doesn&#39;t go on social media. He gets YouTube videos of other kids behaving badly. He does. He gets 30 minutes of iPad time if he wants a night, and he will usually watch some sort of terrible kids running around doing like bad YouTube content. Gavin: 2:04 Well, that&#39;s I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s the gateway drug, but I feel like it&#39;s just so much about watching other kids, and these kids who are then in influencers, because that&#39;s what he&#39;s watching, is bad YouTube content, but he is watching other kids, emulating other kids. And and also very profoundly, I would say, is seeing like, oh, I want to live like those people, and then he&#39;s ungrateful. See, this is why I talk about gratitude all the time. I mean, it&#39;s so insidious, the sense of like, you&#39;re embarrassing me because you&#39;re not acting like the parents that I see in a YouTube video, for instance, or I want to live like them. And all of those people live fabulous lives that they put on YouTube. So I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a great gateway drug, slippery slope, et cetera, et cetera. And yeah, he&#39;s you&#39;re gonna embarrass him forever. David: 2:49 Uh I hate, I what I mostly hate about all of this is that all the bullshit that I hear older parents say that were like, God, stop it. Like, would you stop saying that or I&#39;ll figure it out? Is happening. Yeah. And what it is, is the hard part of the younger ones has just been the baton was just passed to now, yeah. No, he doesn&#39;t do that anymore, doesn&#39;t run into the street. But he does roll his eyes at you in Target. And you&#39;re like, wait, you&#39;re six. Yeah, you&#39;re a baby still. Gavin: 3:16 You&#39;re not one, I&#39;m hurt because you shouldn&#39;t be thinking that I&#39;m not cool anymore. And two, don&#39;t act like that. Don&#39;t be dick. Where did you yeah, no, totally? So I have I have a sense of entitlement, yeah. The sense of entitlement and the the eye rolls and the I&#39;m better than you, and you&#39;re so dumb. Yeah, uh, yeah, it doesn&#39;t matter. David: 3:36 How about this, Gaben? If I&#39;m so dumb, how come I can piss into a toilet every time? And he pisses in the vicinity of the toilet. I have to stand over him sometimes and say, look at your penis, point it at the hole in the ground. That is how we pee in this world. And he&#39;s like, okay, okay. Like he acts like I&#39;m being a dick. He&#39;s like, okay, okay, fine. I&#39;m like, you&#39;re literally pissing directly on the toilet paper roll. Gavin: 4:05 What are you like, yeah, what are you doing? This is so relatable. But you know what? I think that our remedy for that is, and not that it&#39;s effective, uh, but it is not being hypocritical in the sense of um trying to put our, I don&#39;t know, actions where our beliefs are. But this is where you start to say, oh, well, if you&#39;re gonna do that, then your chore is cleaning up around the toilet. And yes, you have to reach around to that trap, that thing where the yellow crust of piss, yeah. The lake of piss goes. Yes, you need to get out on your hands and knees and wipe that away, buddy. And in theory, it&#39;s kind of like it goes also with kids who poop their pants, which, hey, no judgment. I think they do it for a very long time and it&#39;s no biggie, but you know, it and they shouldn&#39;t be ashamed, but it is something you know you&#39;re gonna kind of like grow out of. And so if it gets bad enough, I mean, I had to have my kids clean their own um underwear. I mean, not do the laundry, but like be like, no, you&#39;re gonna be the one to take this and kind of like scrape it into the toilet and wash it out in the sink. David: 5:05 And I&#39;m just gonna, I know that&#39;s too high level for me. I&#39;m just gonna piss on their pillow. I&#39;m just gonna, every time he pisses on the toilet paper, I&#39;m gonna piss on his bed pillow and make him sleep in it. And shit on their shoes, yeah, um, and they can figure it out. Because I&#39;m really mentally there. But speaking of being mentally there, please um my therapist broke up with me yesterday. Dang. So Do you need a do you need a moment? No, no, it&#39;s actually way less insidious than what I just said. He is, he got this really great fancy new job, and he has to get rid of all of his adult clients, and he&#39;s only keeping his his family or kid clients. But it&#39;s very funny because he went to this long winter. Gavin: 5:41 He&#39;s literally leaving you for younger, younger beings. David: 5:44 Correct, but but I would the but what the rain is the reason I bring it up is he told me he was like, oh, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, well, maybe I&#39;ll find another therapist. He&#39;s like, honestly, David, and I&#39;m not allowed to say this, I don&#39;t think you need therapy. You have a podcast instead. I won. I won therapy. You won therapy. I agree with you. Graduated from therapy. Yeah. I got my sticker chart filled. He said, My therapist said, I don&#39;t need therapy. I am the most mentally stable person on the planet, is what that means. Gavin: 6:15 Do you but are you still left with a little part of you feeling empty because he didn&#39;t tell you that you were his favorite? David: 6:22 It was implicit in him saying that, that I am his favorite. And that the real reason he&#39;s breaking up with me is because he&#39;s fallen in love with me. And it is, it is, uh he can&#39;t have that sort of relationship with his client. So he&#39;s doing this because the love for me is taking over his entire life. Gavin: 6:39 Hey, um, dear listener um out there, which I am sure finally now I realize is David&#39;s therapist because he was just going above and beyond. I would love for you to come on the show. Now that you&#39;re now that you&#39;ve broken up, you&#39;re not, you know, breaking any HIPAA laws. So please come on and talk shit about David to me. And it&#39;ll just be you and me, buddy, out there. David: 6:58 So you guys, you guys could do like a private episode where I don&#39;t even know, and you release it in the middle of the night, and I just all of a sudden see on my feet like, what fucking episode is this? You&#39;re like, yeah, I got your therapist drunk and high, and I made him talk shit about you. And he showed me his abs. Gavin: 7:14 All right. So um, do we have a dad hack of the week? No. Do we have a dof of the week? Meh, use your imagination. But what we do have this week, a top three. Disappointment. Oh. Gate three arcs, top three list. Three, two, one. David: 7:30 Um, is this your week? Yeah, you should week. Yeah. Gavin: 7:33 I wanted to hear your top three jokes. Now I realize that this could go many, many, many different directions, many different levels of offense, and frankly, many, many different levels of um uh length of time, right? So I&#39;m going to give you top three, three top three jokes that I felt comfortable saying here on the air. And I&#39;m gonna try to blaze through as fast as I can because only one of them is a like one-liner, um, you know, one-liner. Um, number three, what do you call a fake dad? What? A faux pas. Okay. Number two, inappropriate. Trigger warning, inappropriate. A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are all on a um uh on a life raft with three of their kids, uh, just with them. They, I don&#39;t know, if they fell out of a plane or off a boat or something like that. They&#39;re all in uh dire straits and barely gonna be able to survive, right? And um the rabbi says, Oh, but we we&#39;re gonna have to make a sacrifice here, but I mean, it obviously it can&#39;t be the children. We we have to save the children. We we&#39;re gonna have to sacrifice ourselves. And the minister says, Ah, screw the kids. And the priest says, Do you think we have time? And finally, a woman was living with her uh father. Um, they were um, you know, up there in years and they were just trying to get by. It was a very hard time in life. And um, you know, you do what you can do to survive. And um, so finally the the woman decides, well, I&#39;m going to go out and start prostituting. I&#39;m gonna I&#39;m gonna sleep around. It&#39;s listen, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a new era. Who cares? I&#39;m actually getting some pleasure out of it too. And in the meantime, we&#39;ll be able to meet all of our um our our um financial expenses. So she goes out, um, she comes back. She goes out, she comes back, she comes out, she goes out, she comes back. She&#39;s not really reporting back to dad, but finally dad says, daughter, uh, how are you feeling about this? She says, you know, I&#39;m actually kind of feeling empowered by it. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s fine. It&#39;s it&#39;s fine. Um he says, Well, are you enjoying yourself? And she said, Well, uh, you know, sometimes I am. I mean, some of the men are happy, and sometimes we don&#39;t even really do anything but just kind of talk about our feelings. It&#39;s kind of sad, they just like cry on my shoulder and everything. And but um, and he says, But they&#39;re still paying you, right? And she said, Oh, of course. I mean, that&#39;s why I&#39;m doing this. This is you know, world&#39;s oldest profession. I am getting paid. And he says, Well, about how much did you make? And she said, Oh, about um most recently about$43 and um 10 cents. He goes, Who paid you 10 cents? And she said, All of them. You&#39;re welcome. You already knew it, fine. David: 10:12 But well, I already knew it, but also uh as you were telling telling me the the first one, I was like, We&#39;ve done this top three before. But I think we have, but last week was a repeat, this week is a repeat. We&#39;re doing all of this, guys. This is really fucking hard to do this podcast, so you guys fucking deal with it. All right, let&#39;s hear three jokes, David. All right, number three for me, Gavin. What do you call a black psychologist who makes$200,000 a year? Doctor, you racist. Um number two, um, a man is at the bar and he is really, really fucking drunk and he just pukes all over the front of his shirt. And he goes, Oh no, my wife is gonna kill me. I&#39;m not I&#39;m not supposed to be drinking, I don&#39;t know what to do. So the guy next to him says, Here he slides him ten dollars. He says, Listen, bring this to your wife and say, Hey, some guy at the bar threw up on my shirt and he gave me these$10 to do the dry cleaning. And he&#39;s like, Oh, great idea. So he goes home and he walks into his wife, and his wife sees him and she goes, What what what is that shirt? What is going on? And he goes, Oh, a guy threw up on my shirt at the bar and he gave me$10 and he pulls out a$20 bill. She goes, Well, that&#39;s that&#39;s$20. And he said, Oh, well, he should edit my pants too. And number one, uh, a man goes to his doctor for his yearly physical, and the doctor says to him, You have to stop masturbating. And the guy says, Why? And the doctor says, Because I&#39;m trying to examine you. And that is my top three jokes that I can say on this podcast. Uh, next questionable at that. Yes. Yes. What is next week? Next week. Now it is not officially October yet. I know. And it&#39;s definitely not Christmas. Do I need to remind you of that? Correct. But we are approaching spooky season. So I want to start thinking about spooky stuff. So Gavin, next week I want you to rank what are your top three witches? unknown: 12:21 Okay. David: 12:21 Nice. All right. Gavin: 12:24 Today&#39;s guest is too smart for us. I mean, he&#39;s too witty for us, he&#39;s too well dressed for us, and basically just too good for us. How good is he? He&#39;s a minister, not just any minister. He&#39;s a Yale-trained, worldly minded, often controversial, fervently just, endlessly activisty, Bob Dylan obsessed, endlessly curious, tremendously foul mouthed, and indefatigably, yes, go ahead and look it up, David, devoted to queer rights. Also, he&#39;s my minister. So welcome to the show, Reverend Steve Youngkite. SPEAKER_01: 13:02 Oh, thank you for having me. What a what an what an introduction, man. How do I live up to that? Gavin: 13:07 Well, you sent your bio over it. It was way too academic for us. Like David wouldn&#39;t have understood any of the words on it. David: 13:13 So No, I&#39;m literally Googling every single word he just wrote. I have no idea what he just said. Gavin: 13:17 So, Steve, first and foremost, as always, how have your kids driven you bananas just today? SPEAKER_02: 13:24 Well, just today. Um, here&#39;s what I got. We live literally a block away from our schools. A block away. And every single fucking day, I have to drive them to school. Drive them. Gavin: 13:42 I saw you in the drop-off line the other day, and I was like, I wonder if he does that every day. Wait, wait, why? SPEAKER_01: 13:49 Because they want to sleep in just two minutes longer or they want to like linger over breakfast two minutes longer. But my sorry ass has to get out of bed every day to get them to school. SPEAKER_02: 14:01 And I sit in that, it&#39;s it&#39;s like this long traffic line, Gavin. You know, you know it well. Gavin: 14:07 It&#39;s the longest drive-thru line of your imagination, and you get no french fries. And you get no french fries, exactly. David: 14:13 There&#39;s no frosty at the end of this line. SPEAKER_02: 14:15 No, it is the occasion for like existential despair for me. I sit in this line and I&#39;m like, I will be doing this if you know, if all goes well every day for the next 12 years. This is awful. Anyway, this is this is in a way, I love my kids, uh, but this is one of the ways they drive me crazy every day. Every day. Oh, and then can I add one more thing? Um because we live close to the school, they&#39;re like, oh, dad, I forgot this paper. Can you bring it down to me? Because you...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, 6 is the new 13, David wins therapy, we rank the top 3 jokes, and this week hell has frozen over because our guest is none other than a man of the cloth, Steve Jungkeit, who talks to us about being a leader of a politically passionate church, ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, 6 is the new 13, David wins therapy, we rank the top 3 jokes, and this week hell has frozen over because our guest is none other than a man of the cloth, Steve Jungkeit, who talks to us about being a leader of a politically passionate church, he spars with David about his anti-theism, how he reconciles the things his religion teaches him that he doesn&apos;t necessarily believe in, and how he feels about the gays stealing the rainbow from god himself. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Us out of catriarchist. That&#39;s not like a sexual thing. Do you think? What eating a Belgian waffle? Gavin: 0:06 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. It just it you just said are you having sweet effect. David: 0:27 David, you are my mentor when it comes to older children. So I have a question for you. Um I&#39;m here for it. Are does teenager attitude start at six? I think joking aside, I think for us it was three, actually. Okay, because my child turned six last month. Uh-huh. And on a fucking dime, he went from like cutesy, like fun, was played games to like eye roll, like eye rolls. On like, but like on stuff that I do day to day that makes him laugh. He&#39;s like humiliated. Today we were walking to school and I was holding his hand, and I started like humming the K-pop demon hunter song because he loves it and we love it. And he goes, he yanked my hand and goes, stop it. And he&#39;s like looking around at all the other kids. I was like, bitch, first of all, I&#39;m the coolest motherfucker on this property. Anyone here, yes. I was in one Broadway show one time. But also, there&#39;s just like last night, he was like screaming, he&#39;s like, I don&#39;t even like you. Like, I it was like, wait, this happens at 14, no, not at six. Gavin: 1:34 No, it&#39;s tweenhood, man. Tweenhood. I forget, do you allow him on social media? Is he seeing how other people live their lives yet? David: 1:43 No, he has a he has an Instagram handle, but it&#39;s like a private account that we run and we just post pictures of him, but he doesn&#39;t go on social media. He gets YouTube videos of other kids behaving badly. He does. He gets 30 minutes of iPad time if he wants a night, and he will usually watch some sort of terrible kids running around doing like bad YouTube content. Gavin: 2:04 Well, that&#39;s I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s the gateway drug, but I feel like it&#39;s just so much about watching other kids, and these kids who are then in influencers, because that&#39;s what he&#39;s watching, is bad YouTube content, but he is watching other kids, emulating other kids. And and also very profoundly, I would say, is seeing like, oh, I want to live like those people, and then he&#39;s ungrateful. See, this is why I talk about gratitude all the time. I mean, it&#39;s so insidious, the sense of like, you&#39;re embarrassing me because you&#39;re not acting like the parents that I see in a YouTube video, for instance, or I want to live like them. And all of those people live fabulous lives that they put on YouTube. So I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a great gateway drug, slippery slope, et cetera, et cetera. And yeah, he&#39;s you&#39;re gonna embarrass him forever. David: 2:49 Uh I hate, I what I mostly hate about all of this is that all the bullshit that I hear older parents say that were like, God, stop it. Like, would you stop saying that or I&#39;ll figure it out? Is happening. Yeah. And what it is, is the hard part of the younger ones has just been the baton was just passed to now, yeah. No, he doesn&#39;t do that anymore, doesn&#39;t run into the street. But he does roll his eyes at you in Target. And you&#39;re like, wait, you&#39;re six. Yeah, you&#39;re a baby still. Gavin: 3:16 You&#39;re not one, I&#39;m hurt because you shouldn&#39;t be thinking that I&#39;m not cool anymore. And two, don&#39;t act like that. Don&#39;t be dick. Where did you yeah, no, totally? So I have I have a sense of entitlement, yeah. The sense of entitlement and the the eye rolls and the I&#39;m better than you, and you&#39;re so dumb. Yeah, uh, yeah, it doesn&#39;t matter. David: 3:36 How about this, Gaben? If I&#39;m so dumb, how come I can piss into a toilet every time? And he pisses in the vicinity of the toilet. I have to stand over him sometimes and say, look at your penis, point it at the hole in the ground. That is how we pee in this world. And he&#39;s like, okay, okay. Like he acts like I&#39;m being a dick. He&#39;s like, okay, okay, fine. I&#39;m like, you&#39;re literally pissing directly on the toilet paper roll. Gavin: 4:05 What are you like, yeah, what are you doing? This is so relatable. But you know what? I think that our remedy for that is, and not that it&#39;s effective, uh, but it is not being hypocritical in the sense of um trying to put our, I don&#39;t know, actions where our beliefs are. But this is where you start to say, oh, well, if you&#39;re gonna do that, then your chore is cleaning up around the toilet. And yes, you have to reach around to that trap, that thing where the yellow crust of piss, yeah. The lake of piss goes. Yes, you need to get out on your hands and knees and wipe that away, buddy. And in theory, it&#39;s kind of like it goes also with kids who poop their pants, which, hey, no judgment. I think they do it for a very long time and it&#39;s no biggie, but you know, it and they shouldn&#39;t be ashamed, but it is something you know you&#39;re gonna kind of like grow out of. And so if it gets bad enough, I mean, I had to have my kids clean their own um underwear. I mean, not do the laundry, but like be like, no, you&#39;re gonna be the one to take this and kind of like scrape it into the toilet and wash it out in the sink. David: 5:05 And I&#39;m just gonna, I know that&#39;s too high level for me. I&#39;m just gonna piss on their pillow. I&#39;m just gonna, every time he pisses on the toilet paper, I&#39;m gonna piss on his bed pillow and make him sleep in it. And shit on their shoes, yeah, um, and they can figure it out. Because I&#39;m really mentally there. But speaking of being mentally there, please um my therapist broke up with me yesterday. Dang. So Do you need a do you need a moment? No, no, it&#39;s actually way less insidious than what I just said. He is, he got this really great fancy new job, and he has to get rid of all of his adult clients, and he&#39;s only keeping his his family or kid clients. But it&#39;s very funny because he went to this long winter. Gavin: 5:41 He&#39;s literally leaving you for younger, younger beings. David: 5:44 Correct, but but I would the but what the rain is the reason I bring it up is he told me he was like, oh, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, well, maybe I&#39;ll find another therapist. He&#39;s like, honestly, David, and I&#39;m not allowed to say this, I don&#39;t think you need therapy. You have a podcast instead. I won. I won therapy. You won therapy. I agree with you. Graduated from therapy. Yeah. I got my sticker chart filled. He said, My therapist said, I don&#39;t need therapy. I am the most mentally stable person on the planet, is what that means. Gavin: 6:15 Do you but are you still left with a little part of you feeling empty because he didn&#39;t tell you that you were his favorite? David: 6:22 It was implicit in him saying that, that I am his favorite. And that the real reason he&#39;s breaking up with me is because he&#39;s fallen in love with me. And it is, it is, uh he can&#39;t have that sort of relationship with his client. So he&#39;s doing this because the love for me is taking over his entire life. Gavin: 6:39 Hey, um, dear listener um out there, which I am sure finally now I realize is David&#39;s therapist because he was just going above and beyond. I would love for you to come on the show. Now that you&#39;re now that you&#39;ve broken up, you&#39;re not, you know, breaking any HIPAA laws. So please come on and talk shit about David to me. And it&#39;ll just be you and me, buddy, out there. David: 6:58 So you guys, you guys could do like a private episode where I don&#39;t even know, and you release it in the middle of the night, and I just all of a sudden see on my feet like, what fucking episode is this? You&#39;re like, yeah, I got your therapist drunk and high, and I made him talk shit about you. And he showed me his abs. Gavin: 7:14 All right. So um, do we have a dad hack of the week? No. Do we have a dof of the week? Meh, use your imagination. But what we do have this week, a top three. Disappointment. Oh. Gate three arcs, top three list. Three, two, one. David: 7:30 Um, is this your week? Yeah, you should week. Yeah. Gavin: 7:33 I wanted to hear your top three jokes. Now I realize that this could go many, many, many different directions, many different levels of offense, and frankly, many, many different levels of um uh length of time, right? So I&#39;m going to give you top three, three top three jokes that I felt comfortable saying here on the air. And I&#39;m gonna try to blaze through as fast as I can because only one of them is a like one-liner, um, you know, one-liner. Um, number three, what do you call a fake dad? What? A faux pas. Okay. Number two, inappropriate. Trigger warning, inappropriate. A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are all on a um uh on a life raft with three of their kids, uh, just with them. They, I don&#39;t know, if they fell out of a plane or off a boat or something like that. They&#39;re all in uh dire straits and barely gonna be able to survive, right? And um the rabbi says, Oh, but we we&#39;re gonna have to make a sacrifice here, but I mean, it obviously it can&#39;t be the children. We we have to save the children. We we&#39;re gonna have to sacrifice ourselves. And the minister says, Ah, screw the kids. And the priest says, Do you think we have time? And finally, a woman was living with her uh father. Um, they were um, you know, up there in years and they were just trying to get by. It was a very hard time in life. And um, you know, you do what you can do to survive. And um, so finally the the woman decides, well, I&#39;m going to go out and start prostituting. I&#39;m gonna I&#39;m gonna sleep around. It&#39;s listen, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a new era. Who cares? I&#39;m actually getting some pleasure out of it too. And in the meantime, we&#39;ll be able to meet all of our um our our um financial expenses. So she goes out, um, she comes back. She goes out, she comes back, she comes out, she goes out, she comes back. She&#39;s not really reporting back to dad, but finally dad says, daughter, uh, how are you feeling about this? She says, you know, I&#39;m actually kind of feeling empowered by it. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s fine. It&#39;s it&#39;s fine. Um he says, Well, are you enjoying yourself? And she said, Well, uh, you know, sometimes I am. I mean, some of the men are happy, and sometimes we don&#39;t even really do anything but just kind of talk about our feelings. It&#39;s kind of sad, they just like cry on my shoulder and everything. And but um, and he says, But they&#39;re still paying you, right? And she said, Oh, of course. I mean, that&#39;s why I&#39;m doing this. This is you know, world&#39;s oldest profession. I am getting paid. And he says, Well, about how much did you make? And she said, Oh, about um most recently about$43 and um 10 cents. He goes, Who paid you 10 cents? And she said, All of them. You&#39;re welcome. You already knew it, fine. David: 10:12 But well, I already knew it, but also uh as you were telling telling me the the first one, I was like, We&#39;ve done this top three before. But I think we have, but last week was a repeat, this week is a repeat. We&#39;re doing all of this, guys. This is really fucking hard to do this podcast, so you guys fucking deal with it. All right, let&#39;s hear three jokes, David. All right, number three for me, Gavin. What do you call a black psychologist who makes$200,000 a year? Doctor, you racist. Um number two, um, a man is at the bar and he is really, really fucking drunk and he just pukes all over the front of his shirt. And he goes, Oh no, my wife is gonna kill me. I&#39;m not I&#39;m not supposed to be drinking, I don&#39;t know what to do. So the guy next to him says, Here he slides him ten dollars. He says, Listen, bring this to your wife and say, Hey, some guy at the bar threw up on my shirt and he gave me these$10 to do the dry cleaning. And he&#39;s like, Oh, great idea. So he goes home and he walks into his wife, and his wife sees him and she goes, What what what is that shirt? What is going on? And he goes, Oh, a guy threw up on my shirt at the bar and he gave me$10 and he pulls out a$20 bill. She goes, Well, that&#39;s that&#39;s$20. And he said, Oh, well, he should edit my pants too. And number one, uh, a man goes to his doctor for his yearly physical, and the doctor says to him, You have to stop masturbating. And the guy says, Why? And the doctor says, Because I&#39;m trying to examine you. And that is my top three jokes that I can say on this podcast. Uh, next questionable at that. Yes. Yes. What is next week? Next week. Now it is not officially October yet. I know. And it&#39;s definitely not Christmas. Do I need to remind you of that? Correct. But we are approaching spooky season. So I want to start thinking about spooky stuff. So Gavin, next week I want you to rank what are your top three witches? unknown: 12:21 Okay. David: 12:21 Nice. All right. Gavin: 12:24 Today&#39;s guest is too smart for us. I mean, he&#39;s too witty for us, he&#39;s too well dressed for us, and basically just too good for us. How good is he? He&#39;s a minister, not just any minister. He&#39;s a Yale-trained, worldly minded, often controversial, fervently just, endlessly activisty, Bob Dylan obsessed, endlessly curious, tremendously foul mouthed, and indefatigably, yes, go ahead and look it up, David, devoted to queer rights. Also, he&#39;s my minister. So welcome to the show, Reverend Steve Youngkite. SPEAKER_01: 13:02 Oh, thank you for having me. What a what an what an introduction, man. How do I live up to that? Gavin: 13:07 Well, you sent your bio over it. It was way too academic for us. Like David wouldn&#39;t have understood any of the words on it. David: 13:13 So No, I&#39;m literally Googling every single word he just wrote. I have no idea what he just said. Gavin: 13:17 So, Steve, first and foremost, as always, how have your kids driven you bananas just today? SPEAKER_02: 13:24 Well, just today. Um, here&#39;s what I got. We live literally a block away from our schools. A block away. And every single fucking day, I have to drive them to school. Drive them. Gavin: 13:42 I saw you in the drop-off line the other day, and I was like, I wonder if he does that every day. Wait, wait, why? SPEAKER_01: 13:49 Because they want to sleep in just two minutes longer or they want to like linger over breakfast two minutes longer. But my sorry ass has to get out of bed every day to get them to school. SPEAKER_02: 14:01 And I sit in that, it&#39;s it&#39;s like this long traffic line, Gavin. You know, you know it well. Gavin: 14:07 It&#39;s the longest drive-thru line of your imagination, and you get no french fries. And you get no french fries, exactly. David: 14:13 There&#39;s no frosty at the end of this line. SPEAKER_02: 14:15 No, it is the occasion for like existential despair for me. I sit in this line and I&#39;m like, I will be doing this if you know, if all goes well every day for the next 12 years. This is awful. Anyway, this is this is in a way, I love my kids, uh, but this is one of the ways they drive me crazy every day. Every day. Oh, and then can I add one more thing? Um because we live close to the school, they&#39;re like, oh, dad, I forgot this paper. Can you bring it down to me? Because you...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, 6 is the new 13, David wins therapy, we rank the top 3 jokes, and this week hell has frozen over because our guest is none other than a man of the cloth, Steve Jungkeit, who talks to us about being a leader of a politically passionate church, he spars with David about his anti-theism, how he reconciles the things his religion teaches him that he doesn&apos;t necessarily believe in, and how he feels about the gays stealing the rainbow from god himself. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Us out of catriarchist. That&#39;s not like a sexual thing. Do you think? What eating a Belgian waffle? Gavin: 0:06 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. It just it you just said are you having sweet effect. David: 0:27 David, you are my mentor when it comes to older children. So I have a question for you. Um I&#39;m here for it. Are does teenager attitude start at six? I think joking aside, I think for us it was three, actually. Okay, because my child turned six last month. Uh-huh. And on a fucking dime, he went from like cutesy, like fun, was played games to like eye roll, like eye rolls. On like, but like on stuff that I do day to day that makes him laugh. He&#39;s like humiliated. Today we were walking to school and I was holding his hand, and I started like humming the K-pop demon hunter song because he loves it and we love it. And he goes, he yanked my hand and goes, stop it. And he&#39;s like looking around at all the other kids. I was like, bitch, first of all, I&#39;m the coolest motherfucker on this property. Anyone here, yes. I was in one Broadway show one time. But also, there&#39;s just like last night, he was like screaming, he&#39;s like, I don&#39;t even like you. Like, I it was like, wait, this happens at 14, no, not at six. Gavin: 1:34 No, it&#39;s tweenhood, man. Tweenhood. I forget, do you allow him on social media? Is he seeing how other people live their lives yet? David: 1:43 No, he has a he has an Instagram handle, but it&#39;s like a private account that we run and we just post pictures of him, but he doesn&#39;t go on social media. He gets YouTube videos of other kids behaving badly. He does. He gets 30 minutes of iPad time if he wants a night, and he will usually watch some sort of terrible kids running around doing like bad YouTube content. Gavin: 2:04 Well, that&#39;s I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s the gateway drug, but I feel like it&#39;s just so much about watching other kids, and these kids who are then in influencers, because that&#39;s what he&#39;s watching, is bad YouTube content, but he is watching other kids, emulating other kids. And and also very profoundly, I would say, is seeing like, oh, I want to live like those people, and then he&#39;s ungrateful. See, this is why I talk about gratitude all the time. I mean, it&#39;s so insidious, the sense of like, you&#39;re embarrassing me because you&#39;re not acting like the parents that I see in a YouTube video, for instance, or I want to live like them. And all of those people live fabulous lives that they put on YouTube. So I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a great gateway drug, slippery slope, et cetera, et cetera. And yeah, he&#39;s you&#39;re gonna embarrass him forever. David: 2:49 Uh I hate, I what I mostly hate about all of this is that all the bullshit that I hear older parents say that were like, God, stop it. Like, would you stop saying that or I&#39;ll figure it out? Is happening. Yeah. And what it is, is the hard part of the younger ones has just been the baton was just passed to now, yeah. No, he doesn&#39;t do that anymore, doesn&#39;t run into the street. But he does roll his eyes at you in Target. And you&#39;re like, wait, you&#39;re six. Yeah, you&#39;re a baby still. Gavin: 3:16 You&#39;re not one, I&#39;m hurt because you shouldn&#39;t be thinking that I&#39;m not cool anymore. And two, don&#39;t act like that. Don&#]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, 6 is the new 13, David wins therapy, we rank the top 3 jokes, and this week hell has frozen over because our guest is none other than a man of the cloth, Steve Jungkeit, who talks to us about being a leader of a politically passionate church, he spars with David about his anti-theism, how he reconciles the things his religion teaches him that he doesn&apos;t necessarily believe in, and how he feels about the gays stealing the rainbow from god himself. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Us out of catriarchist. That&#39;s not like a sexual thing. Do you think? What eating a Belgian waffle? Gavin: 0:06 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. It just it you just said are you having sweet effect. David: 0:27 David, you are my mentor when it comes to older children. So I have a question for you. Um I&#39;m here for it. Are does teenager attitude start at six? I think joking a]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Gaddies brand maker David Morgenstern</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-gaddies-brand-maker-david-morgenstern/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Sep 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David&apos;s daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks to us about starting a clothing brand for gay Dads, how he likes to create chaos in group chats, and why he doesn&apos;t have time for straight people on the weekends. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And now finally moving on. David: 0:02 Oh no. I knew it. I knew it. As soon as you said moving on, I said this is not going to be the transition that you wanted. No. Can I reverse it? Back up, please. Yes, gif, yep, cool. And this is Gatriarchs. Oh, wait, how do I say that backwards? Hey, sorry, skids, kids. Gavin: 0:33 Hey David. Hi. What was that voice? It&#39;s been a while. Did you miss me? David: 0:39 I did not miss you at all. My ears have healed slightly. Gavin: 0:53 But let&#39;s just skip past that and talk about me, okay? David: 0:56 Sure. Gavin: 0:56 I&#39;d like to introduce a new segment to Gatriarchs, and it&#39;s called How I Was the Worst Fucking Parent on the Planet. Also known as How I Was um I I no, I think that&#39;s probably the best title for it, okay? Are you a downword? David: 1:13 Let&#39;s go. Enough of the preamble. Let&#39;s just get it. Gavin: 1:15 Should we have a song? How was I the best, but the worst parent on the planet? David: 1:22 Alright, that&#39;s gonna be it. I&#39;m gonna clip that audio recording and I will play that every time we do this. Gavin: 1:27 This is how I failed, and the only reason I expose my underbelly like this is to let listener out there know that sometimes you screw shit up and period. That&#39;s what it is. You&#39;re not a lone listener. So we were getting ready for uh Labor Day weekend. We were having some friends come and visit, right? Really, really close friends might be listening to the podcast, might not. And uh I was with my son um at a soccer game, texting on the sidelines, and my partner was in the car with um our daughter. We were going back and forth, uh texting just a little bit to be like, hey, what&#39;s going on next weekend? Have you made plans? No, is it solidified? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And my very, very dear friends um have kids who are my kids&#39; um age mates, right? And there&#39;s sometimes some tension with my kids being like, oh God, are they coming again? And it&#39;s not that they don&#39;t all love each other, it&#39;s just like, I don&#39;t know, being assholes, right? And but when they&#39;re together, they&#39;re like they&#39;re thickest thieves, they&#39;re like siblings. It&#39;s basically like they&#39;re siblings, right? And you&#39;re complaining about your sibling, right? So my partner says, Well, do you think they&#39;re coming or not? And I respond, Well, I don&#39;t really know. They were a little wishy-washy about it. They might be so because our daughter is just such a bitch to them all the time. David, the text read out automatically into the car. David: 2:53 Oh my god. This car has been no good to you as far as this out loud. No good, no good. Gavin: 3:02 No, no good. My my heart is sinking just telling this story again because literally. Your butthole has never been tighter. Never been tighter. Never just by telling the story, just from PTSD. And I I I am not proud of this, and I&#39;m not really happy about the fact that I&#39;m sharing it, but it is a learning lesson for me, and hopefully it&#39;s a learning lesson. I turned to the woman next to me who&#39;s a very good friend and very sympathetic to just life. And I I sat there panicking for 10 minutes. I did immediately write I am sorry I wrote that and that I used that word. But I&#39;m not sorry about the sentiment, which is true, that you might be projecting out there that you don&#39;t want somebody there and consequently they don&#39;t want to be around you, right? I mean, that&#39;s a life lesson, right? I turn to the woman next to me who&#39;s a good friend on the soccer sidelines, and I tell her in a panic and almost at the verge of tears, or rather on the verge of tears, what I had done. And she&#39;s like, so I called my son a dickhead to his face the other day. And I&#39;m like, oh, well, I mean, I I don&#39;t know. Calling your child a dickhead to their face in front. David: 4:19 Yep. Yeah, to their face, it&#39;s different. But when you do it behind their back and they find out about it, that&#39;s hard. That&#39;s hard. Oh, I I mean, I don&#39;t know how I&#39;m gonna do this when they&#39;re older, Gavin. I I can do it now because my kids are young and stupid. I know, I know older. Gavin: 4:31 Oh, I know, I know, and there are people listening, listener out there knows my daughter and is like, oh my god, Gabin, you&#39;re an asshole. And I&#39;m like, yes, I am here to tell you that I am the asshole. Let me what would you do, David, in this circumstance? How would you have uh made it up to your daughter? Any thoughts? David: 4:51 I think I would have done what you would have done, which is like, I&#39;m sorry use that word. I&#39;m I I was frustrated, but I want you to know that the sentiment is real. You&#39;re unkind to them, and that is probably the reason they don&#39;t want you to come over. Um, but I would be secretly saying, no, you&#39;re a bitch, and I meant it. So I don&#39;t know what to tell you. Listen, I thought I thought it&#39;s a really good submission. It&#39;s a good submission to the I&#39;m a terrible parent club. Gavin: 5:15 I um so what I did was, I mean, my daughter&#39;s going into high school, right? Like, this is I need to deal with this. So so what I did was I thought I went through the whole scenario. Should I buy her a sweatshirt as an apology? I need to demonstrate my apology here and not just use words. Honestly, I felt strongly about it. But then I also didn&#39;t want to be like, I&#39;ll buy you. I feel so bad, I will buy you a hundred dollar Lululemon sweatshirt right now. Uh, but no, I don&#39;t want to associate with you being insulted with, oh, but when daddy&#39;s mean, when daddy gets drunk and is mean to me, by the way, I was not drunk. I was not drunk. Okay, to be clear. But like the the idea being there, daddy&#39;s mean, and then he buys me stuff. I did not want to make that association. Yeah. So I bought her flowers, actually, and I wrote a card and I said, I should not have used that word. And I am really sorry, and I love you more than oxygen. And and uh this summer you have, you know, it and these are all true sentiments. She made me so proud of her in so many ways this summer when I realized when I was kind of a fly on the wall and found out, oh, she&#39;s really like quite mature and and people like being around her and all the things. She&#39;s not just, you know, my child driving me crazy at home. So anyway, I wrote a card and and I gave her flowers. And um, I tried to leave the door open for her to come to me and not overdo the over, like, hey, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, which you know I would love to do. David: 6:44 Which is gotta be the majority of your day in that household. Just existing in your household must be gave in desperately to talk things out. Gavin: 6:51 Just sitting there waiting for somebody to come by so that we can just really beat a dead horse. So, having beaten this dead horse, um, she did make one snide comment about it two days later about like, well, what about what you texted to me in the car? And I&#39;m like, I totally deserve that. And I said, Do you want to talk about that right now? She said, No. David: 7:13 That that is that is your punishment, is you don&#39;t get to talk this out. You have to do it to our our our single listener. Um, and that&#39;s all you get to do. That&#39;s your punishment. I think you&#39;re exactly right. So, David, how about you? I was I also have a submission for the Terrible Parent Club this week. I was driving my daughter to daycare or pre-K3, I guess, which is come on, it&#39;s fucking daycare. Um, and my daughter says, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I said, No, not thanks, not interested. And she&#39;s like, No, you have to smell my butt. And I, and it was a game at first. Like, she&#39;s like, she was like, I&#39;m gonna fart, you&#39;re gonna be stinky. And I&#39;m like, ew, I don&#39;t like stinky. And we were just like kind of playing, but I can hear her voice, like, no, there&#39;s something serious here. Then it gets serious, and then she&#39;s like, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not smelling your fucking butt. You&#39;re not a baby anymore, not smelling poopy diapers. You&#39;re three and a half. I&#39;m not smelling your butt. It leads to an all-out meltdown two minutes away from the school because I won&#39;t smell her butt. And then I&#39;m dropping off this meltdown child at her new school, and they&#39;re like, What&#39;s going on? I can&#39;t tell her, I can&#39;t tell her teacher I wouldn&#39;t smell her butt this morning, so she freaked out. Gavin: 8:36 So um, I also I submit that to the um the terrible parent of the I don&#39;t unfortunately I&#39;m I&#39;m much worse than you are, but thanks for trying. Thanks for playing my new game called Terrible Parent of the Year submissions. David: 8:52 Um, we&#39;re also terrible podcast hosts. I don&#39;t know. Terrible the worst. Um we took two weeks off um because I was moving and we needed a little bit of a break. First of all, let me tell you about what a two-week break looks like at Gatriarchs. Nothing. All it is is we just keep just working and getting our guests and recording, but in those two weeks where we have a little bit of a break. So uh I moved, but uh, we got we got some listeners who were mad at us. We got some DMs that were like, what am I supposed to do when Gatriarchs is not on the air? I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know, get a fucking. And thank you. No, I&#39;m kidding. I&#39;m kidding. No, uh, I we we love our listener, but you know, we are back and um I have moved, um, which is the big news. We had talked about it a little bit in the previous episode that it was coming. Um, and we talk a little bit about our interview today, but um, I have moved uh 25 minutes south of where I was, and you know, we&#39;re at new schools now, which has been a whole experience of like, you know, getting into that school, as I told. Um and then also we&#39;re not the only gay parents anymore, which is really real fucking annoying. It&#39;s yeah, it is annoying because tokenism is fantastic. Gavin: 10:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 10:02 Like being like the they&#39;re the gays, everyone knows us, but we don&#39;t know everyone else. You then we sached into the go ahead. Gavin: 10:09 Yeah, I&#39;m just saying, you you you must feel a way about that. That would suck to not be it was awful the tokens. David: 10:16 Yeah, no, we walked into our our pre-K like orientation at the school, and there they are. Two other fucking gay people. And guess what else? What a lesbian couple. Well, well, they&#39;re allowed, aren&#39;t they? So, well, yeah, that&#39;s true. Your competition, they&#39;re not competing with us, let&#39;s be honest. They have chickens and and Melissa. Of course they did, everything else, right? Gavin: 10:36 But we&#39;re they but like did you create did you cruise the other dads? David: 10:39 I mean, how what was their level of loudness? No, we we of course we chat we chatted with them, we we traded numbers, they&#39;re lovely people, but I was just mostly annoyed at their presence. So I was like, don&#39;t be like good-looking, cool gay parents in my vicinity because I&#39;m just gonna look terrible. Um, and speaking of, I I don&#39;t know if you feel this way, Gavin. I am still under the delusion that I&#39;m a young dad. Like in my brain of brains, people look at me and they go, How could somebody so young have children? Uh-huh. And then what did you have when did you have them when you were 10? And then I see other parents. And I&#39;m like, oh yeah, we&#39;re the same age, but then we&#39;ll walk by a mirror together. And I go, Oh, I&#39;m not the young dad. I&#39;m I&#39;m the old, I&#39;m the regular aged dad, maybe even on the older side. So I am for sure under that delusion. So, but there&#39;s one thing I wanted to tell you about moving to New House, which is, by the way, don&#39;t ever do a children. Moving with children and living out of boxes and kids screaming for their name the stuffy or iPad, and you don&#39;t know what fucking box it&#39;s in, and nobody has clean underwear, and you don&#39;t know where to eat, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a nightmare. But I wanted to tell you that my husband said it was very important to him. He got a rainbow flag, like a little yard garden one, and he put it out right up front the day we moved in. He was like, I want it, I want visibility. I want people to know who we are and what what&#39;s here. I am literally moved into an Yeah. I am planting this flag, planting it. I yeah, I but he but he was like, This is very important, visibility. But we are also moving into a like wildly more liberal area than we were in. So it&#39;s not like this wasn&#39;t necessary, but visibility for you, Gavin. So we have moved, we are here. If I sound different, it&#39;s because I&#39;m in a new office and I have not sound treated this office yet, so also get the fuck over it. Gavin: 12:35 It&#39;s just the same bullshit coming out of your mouth, and it sounds the same. So every nothing has changed, dude. Nothing has changed. David: 12:42 And in our break, I went to LA for a week and I was visiting family, which is weird because I actually really like my in-laws and like my my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. Like, I love all those people, which I feel like you&#39;re supposed to not like a few of them, but I like all of them. They&#39;re all really all great. Gavin: 12:57 Clearly, they don&#39;t listen to this, but mom does. So hi, mom, you&#39;re still the favorite. David: 13:01 We love you. My mom, mother-in-law does not. But uh uh uh Erin, my sister-in-law, shout-out, also surrogate to Emmett. Um, she&#39;s our listener, also. Um, she was there and we had a blast. Anyway, it was super fun. But being in a house where none of your stuff is where you don&#39;t know the house yet, you don&#39;t know what drawer stuff goes in, and then you have kids who are demanding of your time and you don&#39;t get any time to like see where photos go and where should the mirror go. You just have screaming toddlers asking where their underwear are. Right. Don&#39;t ever do it. I&#39;m just saying for for for the future, just send your kids to boarding school for two weeks and then move without them. Gavin: 13:37 I mean, if you are privileged enough to be able to send them to boarding school for just a couple of weeks, that&#39;s a great idea. I mean, uh to do it over again, you obviously would do a thousand different things. Actually, send them away for summer camp for a week while you move would be imagine how cool that would be. You go to summer camp and you come back and you&#39;re like, whoa, I&#39;m in a new house. David: 13:53 Or you don&#39;t tell the kids where you&#39;ve moved to and they just have to figure it out. But you know, you know what has totally taken over our household is K-pop demon hunters. Is this in your world? Gavin: 14:03 Oh it&#39;s in my world, but it I bet it is a slightly generational thing because uh we are definitely in uh I hear it now on the radio. My son hasn&#39;t seen it and he doesn&#39;t care. Uh but my daughter and I watched it at the behest of well, the entire interwebs and also a colleague...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David&apos;s daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks t]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David&apos;s daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks to us about starting a clothing brand for gay Dads, how he likes to create chaos in group chats, and why he doesn&apos;t have time for straight people on the weekends. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And now finally moving on. David: 0:02 Oh no. I knew it. I knew it. As soon as you said moving on, I said this is not going to be the transition that you wanted. No. Can I reverse it? Back up, please. Yes, gif, yep, cool. And this is Gatriarchs. Oh, wait, how do I say that backwards? Hey, sorry, skids, kids. Gavin: 0:33 Hey David. Hi. What was that voice? It&#39;s been a while. Did you miss me? David: 0:39 I did not miss you at all. My ears have healed slightly. Gavin: 0:53 But let&#39;s just skip past that and talk about me, okay? David: 0:56 Sure. Gavin: 0:56 I&#39;d like to introduce a new segment to Gatriarchs, and it&#39;s called How I Was the Worst Fucking Parent on the Planet. Also known as How I Was um I I no, I think that&#39;s probably the best title for it, okay? Are you a downword? David: 1:13 Let&#39;s go. Enough of the preamble. Let&#39;s just get it. Gavin: 1:15 Should we have a song? How was I the best, but the worst parent on the planet? David: 1:22 Alright, that&#39;s gonna be it. I&#39;m gonna clip that audio recording and I will play that every time we do this. Gavin: 1:27 This is how I failed, and the only reason I expose my underbelly like this is to let listener out there know that sometimes you screw shit up and period. That&#39;s what it is. You&#39;re not a lone listener. So we were getting ready for uh Labor Day weekend. We were having some friends come and visit, right? Really, really close friends might be listening to the podcast, might not. And uh I was with my son um at a soccer game, texting on the sidelines, and my partner was in the car with um our daughter. We were going back and forth, uh texting just a little bit to be like, hey, what&#39;s going on next weekend? Have you made plans? No, is it solidified? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And my very, very dear friends um have kids who are my kids&#39; um age mates, right? And there&#39;s sometimes some tension with my kids being like, oh God, are they coming again? And it&#39;s not that they don&#39;t all love each other, it&#39;s just like, I don&#39;t know, being assholes, right? And but when they&#39;re together, they&#39;re like they&#39;re thickest thieves, they&#39;re like siblings. It&#39;s basically like they&#39;re siblings, right? And you&#39;re complaining about your sibling, right? So my partner says, Well, do you think they&#39;re coming or not? And I respond, Well, I don&#39;t really know. They were a little wishy-washy about it. They might be so because our daughter is just such a bitch to them all the time. David, the text read out automatically into the car. David: 2:53 Oh my god. This car has been no good to you as far as this out loud. No good, no good. Gavin: 3:02 No, no good. My my heart is sinking just telling this story again because literally. Your butthole has never been tighter. Never been tighter. Never just by telling the story, just from PTSD. And I I I am not proud of this, and I&#39;m not really happy about the fact that I&#39;m sharing it, but it is a learning lesson for me, and hopefully it&#39;s a learning lesson. I turned to the woman next to me who&#39;s a very good friend and very sympathetic to just life. And I I sat there panicking for 10 minutes. I did immediately write I am sorry I wrote that and that I used that word. But I&#39;m not sorry about the sentiment, which is true, that you might be projecting out there that you don&#39;t want somebody there and consequently they don&#39;t want to be around you, right? I mean, that&#39;s a life lesson, right? I turn to the woman next to me who&#39;s a good friend on the soccer sidelines, and I tell her in a panic and almost at the verge of tears, or rather on the verge of tears, what I had done. And she&#39;s like, so I called my son a dickhead to his face the other day. And I&#39;m like, oh, well, I mean, I I don&#39;t know. Calling your child a dickhead to their face in front. David: 4:19 Yep. Yeah, to their face, it&#39;s different. But when you do it behind their back and they find out about it, that&#39;s hard. That&#39;s hard. Oh, I I mean, I don&#39;t know how I&#39;m gonna do this when they&#39;re older, Gavin. I I can do it now because my kids are young and stupid. I know, I know older. Gavin: 4:31 Oh, I know, I know, and there are people listening, listener out there knows my daughter and is like, oh my god, Gabin, you&#39;re an asshole. And I&#39;m like, yes, I am here to tell you that I am the asshole. Let me what would you do, David, in this circumstance? How would you have uh made it up to your daughter? Any thoughts? David: 4:51 I think I would have done what you would have done, which is like, I&#39;m sorry use that word. I&#39;m I I was frustrated, but I want you to know that the sentiment is real. You&#39;re unkind to them, and that is probably the reason they don&#39;t want you to come over. Um, but I would be secretly saying, no, you&#39;re a bitch, and I meant it. So I don&#39;t know what to tell you. Listen, I thought I thought it&#39;s a really good submission. It&#39;s a good submission to the I&#39;m a terrible parent club. Gavin: 5:15 I um so what I did was, I mean, my daughter&#39;s going into high school, right? Like, this is I need to deal with this. So so what I did was I thought I went through the whole scenario. Should I buy her a sweatshirt as an apology? I need to demonstrate my apology here and not just use words. Honestly, I felt strongly about it. But then I also didn&#39;t want to be like, I&#39;ll buy you. I feel so bad, I will buy you a hundred dollar Lululemon sweatshirt right now. Uh, but no, I don&#39;t want to associate with you being insulted with, oh, but when daddy&#39;s mean, when daddy gets drunk and is mean to me, by the way, I was not drunk. I was not drunk. Okay, to be clear. But like the the idea being there, daddy&#39;s mean, and then he buys me stuff. I did not want to make that association. Yeah. So I bought her flowers, actually, and I wrote a card and I said, I should not have used that word. And I am really sorry, and I love you more than oxygen. And and uh this summer you have, you know, it and these are all true sentiments. She made me so proud of her in so many ways this summer when I realized when I was kind of a fly on the wall and found out, oh, she&#39;s really like quite mature and and people like being around her and all the things. She&#39;s not just, you know, my child driving me crazy at home. So anyway, I wrote a card and and I gave her flowers. And um, I tried to leave the door open for her to come to me and not overdo the over, like, hey, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s talk about it, which you know I would love to do. David: 6:44 Which is gotta be the majority of your day in that household. Just existing in your household must be gave in desperately to talk things out. Gavin: 6:51 Just sitting there waiting for somebody to come by so that we can just really beat a dead horse. So, having beaten this dead horse, um, she did make one snide comment about it two days later about like, well, what about what you texted to me in the car? And I&#39;m like, I totally deserve that. And I said, Do you want to talk about that right now? She said, No. David: 7:13 That that is that is your punishment, is you don&#39;t get to talk this out. You have to do it to our our our single listener. Um, and that&#39;s all you get to do. That&#39;s your punishment. I think you&#39;re exactly right. So, David, how about you? I was I also have a submission for the Terrible Parent Club this week. I was driving my daughter to daycare or pre-K3, I guess, which is come on, it&#39;s fucking daycare. Um, and my daughter says, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I said, No, not thanks, not interested. And she&#39;s like, No, you have to smell my butt. And I, and it was a game at first. Like, she&#39;s like, she was like, I&#39;m gonna fart, you&#39;re gonna be stinky. And I&#39;m like, ew, I don&#39;t like stinky. And we were just like kind of playing, but I can hear her voice, like, no, there&#39;s something serious here. Then it gets serious, and then she&#39;s like, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not smelling your fucking butt. You&#39;re not a baby anymore, not smelling poopy diapers. You&#39;re three and a half. I&#39;m not smelling your butt. It leads to an all-out meltdown two minutes away from the school because I won&#39;t smell her butt. And then I&#39;m dropping off this meltdown child at her new school, and they&#39;re like, What&#39;s going on? I can&#39;t tell her, I can&#39;t tell her teacher I wouldn&#39;t smell her butt this morning, so she freaked out. Gavin: 8:36 So um, I also I submit that to the um the terrible parent of the I don&#39;t unfortunately I&#39;m I&#39;m much worse than you are, but thanks for trying. Thanks for playing my new game called Terrible Parent of the Year submissions. David: 8:52 Um, we&#39;re also terrible podcast hosts. I don&#39;t know. Terrible the worst. Um we took two weeks off um because I was moving and we needed a little bit of a break. First of all, let me tell you about what a two-week break looks like at Gatriarchs. Nothing. All it is is we just keep just working and getting our guests and recording, but in those two weeks where we have a little bit of a break. So uh I moved, but uh, we got we got some listeners who were mad at us. We got some DMs that were like, what am I supposed to do when Gatriarchs is not on the air? I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know, get a fucking. And thank you. No, I&#39;m kidding. I&#39;m kidding. No, uh, I we we love our listener, but you know, we are back and um I have moved, um, which is the big news. We had talked about it a little bit in the previous episode that it was coming. Um, and we talk a little bit about our interview today, but um, I have moved uh 25 minutes south of where I was, and you know, we&#39;re at new schools now, which has been a whole experience of like, you know, getting into that school, as I told. Um and then also we&#39;re not the only gay parents anymore, which is really real fucking annoying. It&#39;s yeah, it is annoying because tokenism is fantastic. Gavin: 10:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 10:02 Like being like the they&#39;re the gays, everyone knows us, but we don&#39;t know everyone else. You then we sached into the go ahead. Gavin: 10:09 Yeah, I&#39;m just saying, you you you must feel a way about that. That would suck to not be it was awful the tokens. David: 10:16 Yeah, no, we walked into our our pre-K like orientation at the school, and there they are. Two other fucking gay people. And guess what else? What a lesbian couple. Well, well, they&#39;re allowed, aren&#39;t they? So, well, yeah, that&#39;s true. Your competition, they&#39;re not competing with us, let&#39;s be honest. They have chickens and and Melissa. Of course they did, everything else, right? Gavin: 10:36 But we&#39;re they but like did you create did you cruise the other dads? David: 10:39 I mean, how what was their level of loudness? No, we we of course we chat we chatted with them, we we traded numbers, they&#39;re lovely people, but I was just mostly annoyed at their presence. So I was like, don&#39;t be like good-looking, cool gay parents in my vicinity because I&#39;m just gonna look terrible. Um, and speaking of, I I don&#39;t know if you feel this way, Gavin. I am still under the delusion that I&#39;m a young dad. Like in my brain of brains, people look at me and they go, How could somebody so young have children? Uh-huh. And then what did you have when did you have them when you were 10? And then I see other parents. And I&#39;m like, oh yeah, we&#39;re the same age, but then we&#39;ll walk by a mirror together. And I go, Oh, I&#39;m not the young dad. I&#39;m I&#39;m the old, I&#39;m the regular aged dad, maybe even on the older side. So I am for sure under that delusion. So, but there&#39;s one thing I wanted to tell you about moving to New House, which is, by the way, don&#39;t ever do a children. Moving with children and living out of boxes and kids screaming for their name the stuffy or iPad, and you don&#39;t know what fucking box it&#39;s in, and nobody has clean underwear, and you don&#39;t know where to eat, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a nightmare. But I wanted to tell you that my husband said it was very important to him. He got a rainbow flag, like a little yard garden one, and he put it out right up front the day we moved in. He was like, I want it, I want visibility. I want people to know who we are and what what&#39;s here. I am literally moved into an Yeah. I am planting this flag, planting it. I yeah, I but he but he was like, This is very important, visibility. But we are also moving into a like wildly more liberal area than we were in. So it&#39;s not like this wasn&#39;t necessary, but visibility for you, Gavin. So we have moved, we are here. If I sound different, it&#39;s because I&#39;m in a new office and I have not sound treated this office yet, so also get the fuck over it. Gavin: 12:35 It&#39;s just the same bullshit coming out of your mouth, and it sounds the same. So every nothing has changed, dude. Nothing has changed. David: 12:42 And in our break, I went to LA for a week and I was visiting family, which is weird because I actually really like my in-laws and like my my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. Like, I love all those people, which I feel like you&#39;re supposed to not like a few of them, but I like all of them. They&#39;re all really all great. Gavin: 12:57 Clearly, they don&#39;t listen to this, but mom does. So hi, mom, you&#39;re still the favorite. David: 13:01 We love you. My mom, mother-in-law does not. But uh uh uh Erin, my sister-in-law, shout-out, also surrogate to Emmett. Um, she&#39;s our listener, also. Um, she was there and we had a blast. Anyway, it was super fun. But being in a house where none of your stuff is where you don&#39;t know the house yet, you don&#39;t know what drawer stuff goes in, and then you have kids who are demanding of your time and you don&#39;t get any time to like see where photos go and where should the mirror go. You just have screaming toddlers asking where their underwear are. Right. Don&#39;t ever do it. I&#39;m just saying for for for the future, just send your kids to boarding school for two weeks and then move without them. Gavin: 13:37 I mean, if you are privileged enough to be able to send them to boarding school for just a couple of weeks, that&#39;s a great idea. I mean, uh to do it over again, you obviously would do a thousand different things. Actually, send them away for summer camp for a week while you move would be imagine how cool that would be. You go to summer camp and you come back and you&#39;re like, whoa, I&#39;m in a new house. David: 13:53 Or you don&#39;t tell the kids where you&#39;ve moved to and they just have to figure it out. But you know, you know what has totally taken over our household is K-pop demon hunters. Is this in your world? Gavin: 14:03 Oh it&#39;s in my world, but it I bet it is a slightly generational thing because uh we are definitely in uh I hear it now on the radio. My son hasn&#39;t seen it and he doesn&#39;t care. Uh but my daughter and I watched it at the behest of well, the entire interwebs and also a colleague...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David&apos;s daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks to us about starting a clothing brand for gay Dads, how he likes to create chaos in group chats, and why he doesn&apos;t have time for straight people on the weekends. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And now finally moving on. David: 0:02 Oh no. I knew it. I knew it. As soon as you said moving on, I said this is not going to be the transition that you wanted. No. Can I reverse it? Back up, please. Yes, gif, yep, cool. And this is Gatriarchs. Oh, wait, how do I say that backwards? Hey, sorry, skids, kids. Gavin: 0:33 Hey David. Hi. What was that voice? It&#39;s been a while. Did you miss me? David: 0:39 I did not miss you at all. My ears have healed slightly. Gavin: 0:53 But let&#39;s just skip past that and talk about me, okay? David: 0:56 Sure. Gavin: 0:56 I&#39;d like to introduce a new segment to Gatriarchs, and it&#39;s called How I Was the Worst Fucking Parent on the Planet. Also known as How I Was um I I no, I think that&#39;s probably the best title for it, okay? Are you a downword? David: 1:13 Let&#39;s go. Enough of the preamble. Let&#39;s just get it. Gavin: 1:15 Should we have a song? How was I the best, but the worst parent on the planet? David: 1:22 Alright, that&#39;s gonna be it. I&#39;m gonna clip that audio recording and I will play that every time we do this. Gavin: 1:27 This is how I failed, and the only reason I expose my underbelly like this is to let listener out there know that sometimes you screw shit up and period. That&#39;s what it is. You&#39;re not a lone listener. So we were getting ready for uh Labor Day weekend. We were having some friends come and visit, right? Really, really close friends might be listening to the podcast, might not. And uh I was with my son um at a soccer game, texting on the sidelines, and my partner was in the car with um our daughter. We were going back and forth, uh texting just a little bit to be like, hey, what&#39;s going on next weekend? Have you made plans? No, is it solidified? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And my very, very dear friends um have kids who are my kids&#39; um age mates, right? And there&#39;s sometimes some tension with my kids being like, oh God, are they coming again? And it&#39;s not that they don&#39;t all love each other, it&#39;s just like, I don&#39;t know, being assholes, right? And but when they&#39;re together, they&#39;re like they&#39;re thickest thieves, they&#39;re like siblings. It&#39;s basically like they&#39;re siblings, right? And you&#39;re complaining about your sibling, right? So my partner says, Well, do you think they&#39;re coming or not? And I respond, Well, I don&#39;t really know. They were a little wishy-washy about it. They might be so because our daughter is just such a bitch to them all the time. David, the text read out automatically into the car. David: 2:53 Oh my god. This car has been no good to you as far as this out loud. No good, no good. Gavin: 3:02 No, no good. My my heart is sinking just telling this story again because literally. Your butthole has never been tighter. Never been tighter. Never just by telling the story, just from PTSD. And I I I am not proud of this, and I&#39;m not really happy about the fact that I&#39;m sharing it, but it is a learning lesson for me, and hopefully it&#39;s a learning lesson. I turned to the woman next to me who&#39;s a very good friend and very sympathetic to just life. And I I sat there panicking for 10 minutes. I did immediately write I am sorry I wrote that and that I used that word. But I&#39;m not sorry about the sentiment, which is true, that you might be projecting out there that you ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David&apos;s daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks to us about starting a clothing brand for gay Dads, how he likes to create chaos in group chats, and why he doesn&apos;t have time for straight people on the weekends. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And now finally moving on. David: 0:02 Oh no. I knew it. I knew it. As soon as you said moving on, I said this is not going to be the transition that you wanted. No. Can I reverse it? Back up, please. Yes, gif, yep, cool. And this is Gatriarchs. Oh, wait, how do I say that backwards? Hey, sorry, skids, kids. Gavin: 0:33 Hey David. Hi. What was that voice? It&#39;s been a while. Did you miss me? David: 0:39 I did not m]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Just the two of us</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-just-the-two-of-us/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we&apos;d start over our lives if we didn&apos;t have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And I feel like we&#39;ve learned some stuff. We&#39;ve had 120 pretty incredible guests, and we&#39;ve learned a lot of things. And so I want to go back to what are your top three rock solid parenting advice? What are your top three pieces of what are your top three pieces of parenting advantage? Sorry, do you not? I hate you. I hate that. I can see you making this into a cold open, and I hate you for it. Oh, and this is Gatorgs. David, how are you? Wildly overwhelmed and barely holding on. How about you? Gavin: 0:50 That&#39;s damn, that was gonna be my answer. That was gonna be my answer. Um, listen to my crazy ass day that is gonna be the excuse for you being like, why the hell didn&#39;t we record today like we were said we were going to? Which is that because I didn&#39;t think that we were actually actually gonna record yesterday or today or whatever, we realized that school is just around the corner. And my partner and I were like, okay, we have one day that nobody has anything, so let&#39;s just like go make it a day. And so we were in New York City, uh, staying at our apartment that is frankly on the market. Hey, anybody out there want an apartment? And we were sleeping on the floor, blah, blah, blah. I had a quick meeting this morning, so really I was cheating, but I did it. And my partner calls me in the middle of the meeting in a frantic rage. And I&#39;m like, and he calls three times and I&#39;m like, um, excuse me, Miss Fundraising Consultant. I need to put the apparently answer this phone call. He calls that our water, our hot water boiler, or whatever it&#39;s called, has burst on the second floor of our house in Connecticut. And I need to get in the car now and drive back and truncate this little summer staycation to come home and see that our um kitchen ceiling has to be replaced. And so I am fresh out of the car driving up through the traffic, being like, this is my vacation, is now so tell me, David, please tell me that house insurance means that if you have a a ceiling that needs to be replaced, that that automatically translates into the entire house needs to be gutted magically. And so now we will have a new house. David: 2:29 Well, I first want to point out that, like, what a relatable story for everyone to hear about which one of your multiple houses you own is having which issue, and your vacation was ruined by the other house that you owned. So I just like it&#39;s just fun for our listener to really feel like you&#39;re a common man, really, is what you are. Um, but uh no, uh, in my experience, literally no insurance has ever paid anything for anything. And that is just your cross to bear. Honestly, I have I&#39;ve tried to make two claims in my life because actual damage happened by actual things. And both times they&#39;re like, oh, actually, like when we had water from Hurricane Ida, they were like, Well, the water has to be coming in through the windows carried by the rain. Oh, sorry, carried by the wind. And I said, Wait, wait, what? We don&#39;t we don&#39;t have flood protection? Oh, you have flood protection. That&#39;s just the water has to be specifically put into your house through an open window by the wind. Wait, what was your damage? Our basement filled with water, our basement filled with water because of a hurricane. So come on. Yeah, no, not at untrusted. So um I&#39;m just really excited to open this episode with like really relatable material about just like everyday things. Um, but yes, it is it is also it is the beginning of the school year, as you know, and we at Patriarchs are always very prepared. We&#39;re always ready. We are so ready. Gavin: 3:55 If we are nothing else, we we admit that we are hypocrites entirely, um, but we are not prepared. So we&#39;re hypocritically unprepared, right? David: 4:05 And we, you know, last year we had a back to school episode. We had this teacher come on, we were all pre like our top three list was thematically working in. Now we&#39;re discussing taking a hiatus. We don&#39;t even know what&#39;s going on in our lives. So that brings us that that long-winded way to get here is basically us saying, Hey, we need a break. And we&#39;re taking a two-week break from our favorite listener to just give us a little bit of time. I am moving. We are all all of our kids are starting school. It&#39;s a little chaotic right now. And the the millions of dollars we make on this podcast is not quite enough for me to do it full-time. But but we&#39;re not even millions of pennies. Gavin: 4:41 If it were millions of pennies, I wouldn&#39;t be worried about replacing my kitchen ceiling now, apparently with the insurance claim that&#39;s not gonna cover anything that you&#39;ve dispersed my bubble about. David: 4:51 It&#39;s never gonna, they&#39;re never gonna pay anything. But um, so we are not leaving you. We are not going by weekly. We know you&#39;ll scream at us if we do, but we have to be. You are anti-by, everybody listener out there. Um, and so we&#39;re gonna take a two-week break, uh, and then we&#39;ll come back and we&#39;ll be bringing you the same trite bullshit uh we&#39;ve been doing every week. But we have a great guest um on our comeback uh episode, and we&#39;re really excited. So thank you all for giving us a little bit of space to breathe. I&#39;m sure you all need it too. Like, aren&#39;t you tired of hearing Gabe and you must be so tired of David? Gavin: 5:20 Just that I mean, just the dry wit itself just gets so old. Just dried, just like your soul, all right? David: 5:32 Or that. So, an update on the school thing. I think I told you last episode of the episode before that we were moving in across the street from an elementary school. We were all excited, and the town was like, You&#39;re not that school is full, you&#39;re not going. And I was like, Oh, you&#39;ve never met me. Um, well, I fucking fired off so many goddamn email emails threatening this, threatening that, giving you gay, gay tears, all kinds of stuff. The next morning, I get an email from the principal that says, We have a space for your son at us. Alrighty. So that to be said, be an annoying, loud homosexual, and you&#39;ll get your way, is really the lesson I&#39;ve learned here. Gavin: 6:15 Do you think six people who were on the waiting list in front of you who really needed the help more than you with your two homes were kicked off the list? And do you care at all? David: 6:25 No, zero. I I consider other people in my decision making never. So I had a friend in town, and the experience with her and her daughter was really funny because it made me realize something that we talk about sometimes, but but I want to bring up on the podcast, which is the idea that you and I have this conversation all the time. We&#39;re like, you have a 13-year-old, and I have a three and six-year-old, and it&#39;s you know, what&#39;s harder? And oh, I remember it like this, and I I think it&#39;s gonna be this way when my kids are 13 and all how we&#39;re all wrong all the time. Well, I had a friend with a 13-year-old daughter stay with us a couple days, and she was like boots on the ground with my three and six year old, and I was boots on the ground around her 13-year-old. And guys, I&#39;m here to tell you it&#39;s something on the other side. It gets worse. It gets worse. Well, it gets worse, but also my friend was like, Oh yeah, I forgot how hard this was. Like, I without me, like your memory of it is we know we we talk about this all the time, is is ruined. Like, you cannot remember as a parent the times in the past correctly, but when she was around my kids, it was so fun to watch her. Like within 10 seconds, she was snapping at my kids for like, I&#39;ve already said that like it was so fun to watch. It was so fun to watch because I was like, see, you don&#39;t remember it. And also, me being me in my head, I&#39;m like, my kids are not gonna be like that when they&#39;re 13. Yes, they will. Yes, yes, they will. Gavin: 7:50 They&#39;ll be worse. David: 7:50 They will be worse. Gavin: 7:55 Your karma, the karma you have created also for your parenting. I mean, just by sheer fact that you have a podcast where you complain about your children, you are fucked, my friend. So far. David: 8:06 I love when the podcast is talked about negatively, it&#39;s my podcast. It is but when it&#39;s a great podcast, it is our podcast. Gavin: 8:12 I mean, don&#39;t you and Brian do exactly that about your own children? Like when your son, when Emmett is being perfect, he&#39;s yours, but when he&#39;s an asshole, he&#39;s Brian&#39;s, right? 100%. It is we do it. Yeah, and it that&#39;s it brings another level in gay parenting when often in some cases, certain uh, and I bet frequently with those who have done surrogacy and you have two children, basically one is the biological father and the other is not. And so that just that amps up that rivalry tenfold, doesn&#39;t it? David: 8:41 I like saying, what&#39;s wrong with your DNA over there? Yeah, um that&#39;s a fun one. Um 100%. Gavin: 8:46 But I love that I love that you were able to witness that. That yeah, 13-year-olds, teens, and yeah, it just gets worse. It all just gets worse. David: 8:53 Because you we hear each other complain either on this podcast or with our friends or whatever about the your the your friends&#39; kids and in your brain, we all do this. We all go, yeah, but I could I could parent that better. I could I could do that better, or my kid was never like that. Yes, they were, and no, you can&#39;t, is the answer to that. Um Gabin, I know I&#39;m steamrolling this episode, but when I logged in and opened the outline and I saw that the the date, the air date hadn&#39;t even changed, I knew you hadn&#39;t even touched this document. So I&#39;m just gonna keep going. So Gaben, I have But I have something for you too. I have a what would you do? Gavin: 9:28 Wait, you do? Because I have one. I guess we&#39;re gonna have to we&#39;re gonna have to wait for this. I have it written out on my notes. We have everything. David: 9:36 Oh my god, we have competing. Gavin: 9:38 A double, ready? It&#39;s a duet. Ready? David: 9:40 Yes, it&#39;s a what would you do do that was good. That was it was a susphore harmonic susphore. Okay, so I&#39;ll go first. So mine is so in the process of moving, um, we are buying a house that has been it&#39;s it&#39;s been sitting around for a very long time and it&#39;s very kind of dirty. So we&#39;re cleaning it, we&#39;re doing a bunch of things. Well, I hired a like a carpet cleaning company, like Steam Clean them, because like there&#39;s the smell of dead people in it. And the guy showed up and um seemingly nice, him, I think as his wife or whatever, and you know, just give me the cloud. I don&#39;t really talk to them much. And then towards the end, I&#39;m like talking to the guy a lot, and he&#39;s kind of giving me a lot of bro energy, and I&#39;m just like, okay, move it along, partner. Let&#39;s just let&#39;s just get this done. And he&#39;s telling me this stupid story about his friend who cleaned carpets for Whoopi Goldberg, and I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t care. And in his conversation, he&#39;s like, Yeah, and then my friend was like, Hey, I can, I can uh um I can make it so like she&#39;s in the other room. Do you want to meet her? And I said, Hell no. And next time if I come here, I&#39;m bringing my MAGA hat. And I suddenly realized my carpet cleaning guy is MAGA. Uh-huh. Now, for context, they are about eight minutes away from being done with this job. Oh. Gavin. After finding out your carpet guy, who&#39;s currently cleaning your carpets, yeah, is MAGA. SPEAKER_00: 11:02 What would you do? David: 11:07 Okay, he&#39;s eight minutes away. How much have you paid already? I&#39;ve paid nothing, but I&#39;m I am owed, I owe him for this job he&#39;s doing. Yeah. Gavin: 11:15 Is there an opportunity to I mean, maybe a Yelp review? I don&#39;t know. Has he done a good job? David: 11:22 Yeah, that&#39;s the problem. Listen, okay. Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s why it&#39;s that&#39;s why it&#39;s complicated. Because my first instinct was to throw him out of my house. If I had found that out before he took a stepfoot in my house, I would have just canceled it right there and been like, I won&#39;t allow MAGA people in my house. Gavin: 11:35 You know what? I think this is an opportunity for for you to go high. I know that is completely not in your vocabulary whatsoever. There you are, shaking your head. Hell no, Michelle Obama, hell to the no. David: 11:47 When they when they go low, we go low. We go subterranean. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Gavin: 11:52 Um, you meet bottom with bottom. Yes. I get it entirely. David: 11:55 Just donut bumping for death. Gavin: 11:57 I think this might be here&#39;s my challenge to you. And what I would do is he virtue signaled to you. So when you write that check that he has his hand, his grubby little hand out. No, no, listen. His hand out because he did hard work for you. You can find a way to virtue signal back to him and let him know that he just had a human interaction with somebody whose rights are are potentially being taken away by what he voted for. You can talk about your immigrant husband. David: 12:28 You can talk about your California. Gavin: 12:32 You can talk about your it, he doesn&#39;t know that. Oh, you&#39;re right. Carpet cleaner dude doesn&#39;t know that you are not married to an to a so-called illegal immigrant who has come to do the Lord&#39;s work, etc. You can talk about your two double trans kids and how they are so much. David: 12:48 Wait, doesn&#39;t that just equal to a sex gendered? Sure. Like is it like negative positive? Gavin: 12:52 It doesn&#39;t even matter. Doesn&#39;t even matter, but you can just let him know that he, you are so appreciative to him for improving your life by taking the dead person smell out of the house where you can all thrive as a family. And I am indebted to you. And thank you. I just hope that the big beautiful bill doesn&#39;t put you out of business so that you can&#39;t afford anything for the rest of your life. David: 13:15 But Hillary Clinton is gonna love these new carpets. Yes, he&#39;s coming over later. Gavin: 13:20 I but I am a hundred percent serious. You might even be able to say, listen, I haven&#39;t had any interaction with anybody with a MAGA hat, but now I see that you don&#39;t have horns sticking out of your head. And so thank you for helping improve my life. No doubt. He didn&#39;t forget. I think there&#39;s a way you might as well play with it. And he fucking virtue signaled to you so you can slap back 10 times. So please do that and come back and tell us how it. David: 13:45 Okay, so how did it end? I froze because I will I was shocked because I I had seen no symptoms, I had seen no signs. I had symptoms. I had seen no symptoms of the Trump uh syndrome. So I was a little in shock. Um, I did uh have uh my uh he was gonna come next week to um clean our couch because my kids have thrown up all over it and shit all over. And I&#39;m like, why don&#39;t we clean it? I did cancel that. Um, but uh but yeah, but next time I think I will do something like that. I&#39;m like, thank you so much. My my immigrant trans uh Hillary Clinton family is gonna love these things. Gavin: 14:20 Bye. But I think that here&#39;s where you go, hi, sorry, just do it. Is see, you gotta do something that so that he walks away. Listen, we are here to make the world a better place with our podcast, right? It&#39;s...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we&apos;d start over our lives if we didn&apos;t have kids. Questions? Comments? R]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we&apos;d start over our lives if we didn&apos;t have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And I feel like we&#39;ve learned some stuff. We&#39;ve had 120 pretty incredible guests, and we&#39;ve learned a lot of things. And so I want to go back to what are your top three rock solid parenting advice? What are your top three pieces of what are your top three pieces of parenting advantage? Sorry, do you not? I hate you. I hate that. I can see you making this into a cold open, and I hate you for it. Oh, and this is Gatorgs. David, how are you? Wildly overwhelmed and barely holding on. How about you? Gavin: 0:50 That&#39;s damn, that was gonna be my answer. That was gonna be my answer. Um, listen to my crazy ass day that is gonna be the excuse for you being like, why the hell didn&#39;t we record today like we were said we were going to? Which is that because I didn&#39;t think that we were actually actually gonna record yesterday or today or whatever, we realized that school is just around the corner. And my partner and I were like, okay, we have one day that nobody has anything, so let&#39;s just like go make it a day. And so we were in New York City, uh, staying at our apartment that is frankly on the market. Hey, anybody out there want an apartment? And we were sleeping on the floor, blah, blah, blah. I had a quick meeting this morning, so really I was cheating, but I did it. And my partner calls me in the middle of the meeting in a frantic rage. And I&#39;m like, and he calls three times and I&#39;m like, um, excuse me, Miss Fundraising Consultant. I need to put the apparently answer this phone call. He calls that our water, our hot water boiler, or whatever it&#39;s called, has burst on the second floor of our house in Connecticut. And I need to get in the car now and drive back and truncate this little summer staycation to come home and see that our um kitchen ceiling has to be replaced. And so I am fresh out of the car driving up through the traffic, being like, this is my vacation, is now so tell me, David, please tell me that house insurance means that if you have a a ceiling that needs to be replaced, that that automatically translates into the entire house needs to be gutted magically. And so now we will have a new house. David: 2:29 Well, I first want to point out that, like, what a relatable story for everyone to hear about which one of your multiple houses you own is having which issue, and your vacation was ruined by the other house that you owned. So I just like it&#39;s just fun for our listener to really feel like you&#39;re a common man, really, is what you are. Um, but uh no, uh, in my experience, literally no insurance has ever paid anything for anything. And that is just your cross to bear. Honestly, I have I&#39;ve tried to make two claims in my life because actual damage happened by actual things. And both times they&#39;re like, oh, actually, like when we had water from Hurricane Ida, they were like, Well, the water has to be coming in through the windows carried by the rain. Oh, sorry, carried by the wind. And I said, Wait, wait, what? We don&#39;t we don&#39;t have flood protection? Oh, you have flood protection. That&#39;s just the water has to be specifically put into your house through an open window by the wind. Wait, what was your damage? Our basement filled with water, our basement filled with water because of a hurricane. So come on. Yeah, no, not at untrusted. So um I&#39;m just really excited to open this episode with like really relatable material about just like everyday things. Um, but yes, it is it is also it is the beginning of the school year, as you know, and we at Patriarchs are always very prepared. We&#39;re always ready. We are so ready. Gavin: 3:55 If we are nothing else, we we admit that we are hypocrites entirely, um, but we are not prepared. So we&#39;re hypocritically unprepared, right? David: 4:05 And we, you know, last year we had a back to school episode. We had this teacher come on, we were all pre like our top three list was thematically working in. Now we&#39;re discussing taking a hiatus. We don&#39;t even know what&#39;s going on in our lives. So that brings us that that long-winded way to get here is basically us saying, Hey, we need a break. And we&#39;re taking a two-week break from our favorite listener to just give us a little bit of time. I am moving. We are all all of our kids are starting school. It&#39;s a little chaotic right now. And the the millions of dollars we make on this podcast is not quite enough for me to do it full-time. But but we&#39;re not even millions of pennies. Gavin: 4:41 If it were millions of pennies, I wouldn&#39;t be worried about replacing my kitchen ceiling now, apparently with the insurance claim that&#39;s not gonna cover anything that you&#39;ve dispersed my bubble about. David: 4:51 It&#39;s never gonna, they&#39;re never gonna pay anything. But um, so we are not leaving you. We are not going by weekly. We know you&#39;ll scream at us if we do, but we have to be. You are anti-by, everybody listener out there. Um, and so we&#39;re gonna take a two-week break, uh, and then we&#39;ll come back and we&#39;ll be bringing you the same trite bullshit uh we&#39;ve been doing every week. But we have a great guest um on our comeback uh episode, and we&#39;re really excited. So thank you all for giving us a little bit of space to breathe. I&#39;m sure you all need it too. Like, aren&#39;t you tired of hearing Gabe and you must be so tired of David? Gavin: 5:20 Just that I mean, just the dry wit itself just gets so old. Just dried, just like your soul, all right? David: 5:32 Or that. So, an update on the school thing. I think I told you last episode of the episode before that we were moving in across the street from an elementary school. We were all excited, and the town was like, You&#39;re not that school is full, you&#39;re not going. And I was like, Oh, you&#39;ve never met me. Um, well, I fucking fired off so many goddamn email emails threatening this, threatening that, giving you gay, gay tears, all kinds of stuff. The next morning, I get an email from the principal that says, We have a space for your son at us. Alrighty. So that to be said, be an annoying, loud homosexual, and you&#39;ll get your way, is really the lesson I&#39;ve learned here. Gavin: 6:15 Do you think six people who were on the waiting list in front of you who really needed the help more than you with your two homes were kicked off the list? And do you care at all? David: 6:25 No, zero. I I consider other people in my decision making never. So I had a friend in town, and the experience with her and her daughter was really funny because it made me realize something that we talk about sometimes, but but I want to bring up on the podcast, which is the idea that you and I have this conversation all the time. We&#39;re like, you have a 13-year-old, and I have a three and six-year-old, and it&#39;s you know, what&#39;s harder? And oh, I remember it like this, and I I think it&#39;s gonna be this way when my kids are 13 and all how we&#39;re all wrong all the time. Well, I had a friend with a 13-year-old daughter stay with us a couple days, and she was like boots on the ground with my three and six year old, and I was boots on the ground around her 13-year-old. And guys, I&#39;m here to tell you it&#39;s something on the other side. It gets worse. It gets worse. Well, it gets worse, but also my friend was like, Oh yeah, I forgot how hard this was. Like, I without me, like your memory of it is we know we we talk about this all the time, is is ruined. Like, you cannot remember as a parent the times in the past correctly, but when she was around my kids, it was so fun to watch her. Like within 10 seconds, she was snapping at my kids for like, I&#39;ve already said that like it was so fun to watch. It was so fun to watch because I was like, see, you don&#39;t remember it. And also, me being me in my head, I&#39;m like, my kids are not gonna be like that when they&#39;re 13. Yes, they will. Yes, yes, they will. Gavin: 7:50 They&#39;ll be worse. David: 7:50 They will be worse. Gavin: 7:55 Your karma, the karma you have created also for your parenting. I mean, just by sheer fact that you have a podcast where you complain about your children, you are fucked, my friend. So far. David: 8:06 I love when the podcast is talked about negatively, it&#39;s my podcast. It is but when it&#39;s a great podcast, it is our podcast. Gavin: 8:12 I mean, don&#39;t you and Brian do exactly that about your own children? Like when your son, when Emmett is being perfect, he&#39;s yours, but when he&#39;s an asshole, he&#39;s Brian&#39;s, right? 100%. It is we do it. Yeah, and it that&#39;s it brings another level in gay parenting when often in some cases, certain uh, and I bet frequently with those who have done surrogacy and you have two children, basically one is the biological father and the other is not. And so that just that amps up that rivalry tenfold, doesn&#39;t it? David: 8:41 I like saying, what&#39;s wrong with your DNA over there? Yeah, um that&#39;s a fun one. Um 100%. Gavin: 8:46 But I love that I love that you were able to witness that. That yeah, 13-year-olds, teens, and yeah, it just gets worse. It all just gets worse. David: 8:53 Because you we hear each other complain either on this podcast or with our friends or whatever about the your the your friends&#39; kids and in your brain, we all do this. We all go, yeah, but I could I could parent that better. I could I could do that better, or my kid was never like that. Yes, they were, and no, you can&#39;t, is the answer to that. Um Gabin, I know I&#39;m steamrolling this episode, but when I logged in and opened the outline and I saw that the the date, the air date hadn&#39;t even changed, I knew you hadn&#39;t even touched this document. So I&#39;m just gonna keep going. So Gaben, I have But I have something for you too. I have a what would you do? Gavin: 9:28 Wait, you do? Because I have one. I guess we&#39;re gonna have to we&#39;re gonna have to wait for this. I have it written out on my notes. We have everything. David: 9:36 Oh my god, we have competing. Gavin: 9:38 A double, ready? It&#39;s a duet. Ready? David: 9:40 Yes, it&#39;s a what would you do do that was good. That was it was a susphore harmonic susphore. Okay, so I&#39;ll go first. So mine is so in the process of moving, um, we are buying a house that has been it&#39;s it&#39;s been sitting around for a very long time and it&#39;s very kind of dirty. So we&#39;re cleaning it, we&#39;re doing a bunch of things. Well, I hired a like a carpet cleaning company, like Steam Clean them, because like there&#39;s the smell of dead people in it. And the guy showed up and um seemingly nice, him, I think as his wife or whatever, and you know, just give me the cloud. I don&#39;t really talk to them much. And then towards the end, I&#39;m like talking to the guy a lot, and he&#39;s kind of giving me a lot of bro energy, and I&#39;m just like, okay, move it along, partner. Let&#39;s just let&#39;s just get this done. And he&#39;s telling me this stupid story about his friend who cleaned carpets for Whoopi Goldberg, and I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t care. And in his conversation, he&#39;s like, Yeah, and then my friend was like, Hey, I can, I can uh um I can make it so like she&#39;s in the other room. Do you want to meet her? And I said, Hell no. And next time if I come here, I&#39;m bringing my MAGA hat. And I suddenly realized my carpet cleaning guy is MAGA. Uh-huh. Now, for context, they are about eight minutes away from being done with this job. Oh. Gavin. After finding out your carpet guy, who&#39;s currently cleaning your carpets, yeah, is MAGA. SPEAKER_00: 11:02 What would you do? David: 11:07 Okay, he&#39;s eight minutes away. How much have you paid already? I&#39;ve paid nothing, but I&#39;m I am owed, I owe him for this job he&#39;s doing. Yeah. Gavin: 11:15 Is there an opportunity to I mean, maybe a Yelp review? I don&#39;t know. Has he done a good job? David: 11:22 Yeah, that&#39;s the problem. Listen, okay. Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s why it&#39;s that&#39;s why it&#39;s complicated. Because my first instinct was to throw him out of my house. If I had found that out before he took a stepfoot in my house, I would have just canceled it right there and been like, I won&#39;t allow MAGA people in my house. Gavin: 11:35 You know what? I think this is an opportunity for for you to go high. I know that is completely not in your vocabulary whatsoever. There you are, shaking your head. Hell no, Michelle Obama, hell to the no. David: 11:47 When they when they go low, we go low. We go subterranean. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Gavin: 11:52 Um, you meet bottom with bottom. Yes. I get it entirely. David: 11:55 Just donut bumping for death. Gavin: 11:57 I think this might be here&#39;s my challenge to you. And what I would do is he virtue signaled to you. So when you write that check that he has his hand, his grubby little hand out. No, no, listen. His hand out because he did hard work for you. You can find a way to virtue signal back to him and let him know that he just had a human interaction with somebody whose rights are are potentially being taken away by what he voted for. You can talk about your immigrant husband. David: 12:28 You can talk about your California. Gavin: 12:32 You can talk about your it, he doesn&#39;t know that. Oh, you&#39;re right. Carpet cleaner dude doesn&#39;t know that you are not married to an to a so-called illegal immigrant who has come to do the Lord&#39;s work, etc. You can talk about your two double trans kids and how they are so much. David: 12:48 Wait, doesn&#39;t that just equal to a sex gendered? Sure. Like is it like negative positive? Gavin: 12:52 It doesn&#39;t even matter. Doesn&#39;t even matter, but you can just let him know that he, you are so appreciative to him for improving your life by taking the dead person smell out of the house where you can all thrive as a family. And I am indebted to you. And thank you. I just hope that the big beautiful bill doesn&#39;t put you out of business so that you can&#39;t afford anything for the rest of your life. David: 13:15 But Hillary Clinton is gonna love these new carpets. Yes, he&#39;s coming over later. Gavin: 13:20 I but I am a hundred percent serious. You might even be able to say, listen, I haven&#39;t had any interaction with anybody with a MAGA hat, but now I see that you don&#39;t have horns sticking out of your head. And so thank you for helping improve my life. No doubt. He didn&#39;t forget. I think there&#39;s a way you might as well play with it. And he fucking virtue signaled to you so you can slap back 10 times. So please do that and come back and tell us how it. David: 13:45 Okay, so how did it end? I froze because I will I was shocked because I I had seen no symptoms, I had seen no signs. I had symptoms. I had seen no symptoms of the Trump uh syndrome. So I was a little in shock. Um, I did uh have uh my uh he was gonna come next week to um clean our couch because my kids have thrown up all over it and shit all over. And I&#39;m like, why don&#39;t we clean it? I did cancel that. Um, but uh but yeah, but next time I think I will do something like that. I&#39;m like, thank you so much. My my immigrant trans uh Hillary Clinton family is gonna love these things. Gavin: 14:20 Bye. But I think that here&#39;s where you go, hi, sorry, just do it. Is see, you gotta do something that so that he walks away. Listen, we are here to make the world a better place with our podcast, right? It&#39;s...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we&apos;d start over our lives if we didn&apos;t have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And I feel like we&#39;ve learned some stuff. We&#39;ve had 120 pretty incredible guests, and we&#39;ve learned a lot of things. And so I want to go back to what are your top three rock solid parenting advice? What are your top three pieces of what are your top three pieces of parenting advantage? Sorry, do you not? I hate you. I hate that. I can see you making this into a cold open, and I hate you for it. Oh, and this is Gatorgs. David, how are you? Wildly overwhelmed and barely holding on. How about you? Gavin: 0:50 That&#39;s damn, that was gonna be my answer. That was gonna be my answer. Um, listen to my crazy ass day that is gonna be the excuse for you being like, why the hell didn&#39;t we record today like we were said we were going to? Which is that because I didn&#39;t think that we were actually actually gonna record yesterday or today or whatever, we realized that school is just around the corner. And my partner and I were like, okay, we have one day that nobody has anything, so let&#39;s just like go make it a day. And so we were in New York City, uh, staying at our apartment that is frankly on the market. Hey, anybody out there want an apartment? And we were sleeping on the floor, blah, blah, blah. I had a quick meeting this morning, so really I was cheating, but I did it. And my partner calls me in the middle of the meeting in a frantic rage. And I&#39;m like, and he calls three times and I&#39;m like, um, excuse me, Miss Fundraising Consultant. I need to put the apparently answer this phone call. He calls that our water, our hot water boiler, or whatever it&#39;s called, has burst on the second floor of our house in Connecticut. And I need to get in the car now and drive back and truncate this little summer staycation to come home and see that our um kitchen ceiling has to be replaced. And so I am fresh out of the car driving up through the traffic, being like, this is my vacation, is now so tell me, David, please tell me that house insurance means that if you have a a ceiling that needs to be replaced, that that automatically translates into the entire house needs to be gutted magically. And so now we will have a new house. David: 2:29 Well, I first want to point out that, like, what a relatable story for everyone to hear about which one of your multiple houses you own is having which issue, and your vacation was ruined by the other house that you owned. So I just like it&#39;s just fun for our listener to really feel like you&#39;re a common man, really, is what you are. Um, but uh no, uh, in my experience, literally no insurance has ever paid anything for anything. And that is just your cross to bear. Honestly, I have I&#39;ve tried to make two claims in my life because actual damage happened by actual things. And both times they&#39;re like, oh, actually, like when we had water from Hurricane Ida, they were like, Well, the water has to be coming in through the windows carried by the rain. Oh, sorry, carried by the wind. And I said, Wait, wait, what? We don&#39;t we don&#39;t have flood protection? Oh, you have flood protection. That&#39;s just the water has to be specifically put into your house through an open window by the wind. Wait, what was your damage? Our basement filled with water, our basement filled with water because of a hurricane. So come on. Yeah, no, not at untrusted. So um I&#39;m just really excited to open this episode with like really relatable material about just like everyday things. Um, but yes, it is it is also it is the beginning of the school year, as you know, and we at Patriarchs are always very pre]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling &#34;What would you do?,&#34; we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we&apos;d start over our lives if we didn&apos;t have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And I feel like we&#39;ve learned some stuff. We&#39;ve had 120 pretty incredible guests, and we&#39;ve learned a lot of things. And so I want to go back to what are your top three rock solid parenting advice? What are your top three pieces of what are your top three pieces of parenting advantage? Sorry, do you not? I hate you. I hate that. I can see you making this into a cold open, and I hate you for it. Oh, and this is Gatorgs. David, how are you? Wildly overwhelmed and barely holding on. How about you? Gavin: 0:50 That&#39;s damn, that was gonna be my answer. That was gonna be my answer. Um, listen ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one where we need guests</title>
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	<pubDate>Wed, 13 Aug 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is obsessed with money, David is obsessed with neighborhood Facebook drama, we apologize to Dan Savage, we bring back the popular &#34;what would you do?,&#34; and finally we rank the top 3 places to pee. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Oh, it&#39;s not just me. I love it. I just relish when you fuck up. No, this is not a fuck up. This is a a deliberate pause. A dramatic pause. A faggoty pause. You next time on another episode of Gatry Arks. No way. David: 0:18 Um and this is Gatry Arts. Gavin: 0:35 So I&#39;m uh excited. I&#39;m gonna have a weekend away with the kids, sort of. Um going into the city this weekend. And uh well, I am solo daddy, and so I am making it a bit of an amusement park weekend. Uh school has yet to start, thank God. And um, so we&#39;re gonna go into the city and um, well, stay in long story short, an empty apartment. And um, but I I and so I&#39;m thinking, well, we&#39;re gonna save money because I&#39;m not like going to you know, spend money on a hotel or an Airbnb or something, right? But it&#39;s gonna be so expensive. And it makes me think, is it just life? I feel like I see people complaining about how expensive life is. And of course, everything is Trump&#39;s fault, right? But like, no, really, is it? Is it is this is this just what everybody in their 40s since the dawn of time has realized? Oh my god, life is so expensive or is it different right now? Are you complaining about things being expensive? David: 1:25 Well, I don&#39;t complain nearly as much as you complain, but yes, I everything is expensive. Literally, we just had to put four new tires on our car. It was like$1,500. You might as well have just bought a new car. Well, I I literally did the math and I was like, if I just took Ubers everywhere I needed to go, would I have spent$1,500 for the year, but also what,$100,$200 a month in gas insurance? I was like, should I just start taking Ubers everywhere? Gavin: 1:50 I mean, I am I am I am surprised that the whole car share world has not taken off like we thought it was gonna be. You know, of course, we should also be in flying cars by now, according to the Jetsons, right? But like I am really surprised that even in New York, you know, 15 years ago, they were really trying to do the ride share thing. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s that&#39;s just not happening. People Uber, obviously, but that&#39;s gonna borrow a car pooling. Yeah. Or I&#39;m gonna use a car for eight hours and drop it off at this spot, and somebody else puts in a magical code and they keep driving it from there, you know, just that kind of thing. David: 2:25 I do remember the carpooling feature on Uber, which I think they&#39;ve gotten rid of. And I remember taking a couple of pretty awkward rides. You know what I mean? Because it&#39;s not just you and another person on other side. Sometimes there&#39;s three or four people where you&#39;re like touching shoulders with somebody, which feels normal, like on the seven train, but something about being in a car with a stranger feels very different. Gavin: 2:45 I know, but also jury duty-esque, too, right? Like imagine the short stories you get to write about rubbing the elbows, quite literally, with complete strangers and what comes of it. I mean, I suppose the three times the the 10% of times that it was bad, undoubtedly for women, because men suck. But um the five percent of times it was good between two gay dudes sitting together and the back of the Do you know what I mean? David: 3:09 That could be the beginning of a really beautiful love story. Absolutely. All right, so I am moving, and I&#39;ve just decided it&#39;s been my it&#39;s gonna be my entire identity for the next month because this is insufferable. It&#39;s so insufferable. Gavin: 3:24 It&#39;s can I get a guest, a special guest star co-host, so we don&#39;t have to talk about moving for the next two episodes? David: 3:30 But you know, I realize that like you don&#39;t move very often, right? Like you move once every five, 10, 15 years. That&#39;s why it&#39;s so stressful. Well, also, you just don&#39;t have any idea how much shit is in your house. But that&#39;s not what I&#39;m gonna talk about. I want to talk about this week um the Facebook groups, because I don&#39;t know about your town, but we have, you know, local buy nothing groups and local neighborhood groups where people say, Hey, there&#39;s a dog on Main Street and Elm or whatever. And so obviously, I&#39;m a member of a lot of the groups here, the sales groups or whatever. And now I&#39;m starting to join the new town groups. Yeah, transitioning. So it&#39;s so fucking funny to like see what is always the same. And one of the things I&#39;ve noticed that is always the same are people in the groups complaining about how the neighborhood is changing. And this wasn&#39;t the way when I was a kid. Oh right? The old person, like, you know, oh my God, they&#39;re knocking down this. God, this this neighborhood&#39;s going to hell in a handbasket. Right. And now that I&#39;m moving from one neighborhood to another, it is hilarious that everybody has people in their neighborhood who are mad that it&#39;s changing and who think it&#39;s going to the dumps. Yeah. Everyone&#39;s saying everyone&#39;s fleeing this neighborhood because of the crime. No, they&#39;re not. They are not doing that. You are old and you hate change. And it&#39;s just And everything&#39;s expensive. And everything is expensive. I that I was looking right at Gavin when I said you are old and everything, you know. But also, what&#39;s hilarious is I&#39;m now gonna be in a new pool of Facebook neighborhood drama. Yes, you are. And you know it&#39;s catnip to me. It is catnip. So I joined this new town&#39;s uh Facebook groups, and the first post I saw was the drama that the yarn club was kicked out of the library. And the post was now that the yarn club has been banned from the library, here&#39;s what we&#39;re here&#39;s where we&#39;ll be meeting. And of course, I was like, I I broke my neck running to the comments. I was like, what happened at the library with the yarn club? I need to know this information. So I I still don&#39;t know. Evan, all I know is that they got rowdy, and so now all I have is more questions. All I have is more questions. I that didn&#39;t satisfy me at all. So I all I all I am came here to say is if you&#39;re considering a move, do it just for the new drama. Just do it for the new neighborhood drama because it is everything. Gavin: 5:57 You know what? This catnip that you&#39;re just talking about about um uh being able to watch the Facebook group&#39;s spiral out of control, it did remind me that just today I was uh you know killing my time and uh with the brain rot of going through Instagram, and I found a really funny meme that I spent sent specifically to Jamie Grayson, our friend of the pod. And I didn&#39;t actually post on our stories, but it was just I all I could think was Jamie. And it&#39;s at one awkward mom, maybe she&#39;s my something special today, something great, um, who is hilarious. And she writes sometimes when I&#39;m bored, I like to post a picture of my child&#39;s car seat buckled incorrectly to a face group, Facebook mom group. David: 6:36 And have people fucking panic. Yes. Cece Kane, uh a for a former guest of ours as well, is up on the internet. And she is she is very she does a lot of like Facebook mom drama group stuff. Gavin: 6:49 Hilarious. Yes, that&#39;s why we had her on because she is so good at just stirring that pot and sitting back with just a cigarette and popcorn. A bunch. David: 6:57 Yes, exactly. Um, some other drama that I&#39;m experiencing now with my move is we are having to register our kids for a new school district. And I was like, oh, I&#39;ll just fill out some paperwork, do some things, bada bing, bada boom. Uh uh for context, we are purchasing a home directly across the street from an elementary school. Wow. And so one of the things in this um city you have to do is you fill out all your paperwork and then you have to have an in-person meeting to prove your residency or whatever. And ICE isn&#39;t gonna come to the school and grab you. Correct. Um, and I called and I was like, oh, we&#39;re directly across from the school, which we&#39;re gonna be going to in the fall and we want to register. And the guy goes, That school is full, you&#39;re not going there. I said, but he said, Yeah, the school&#39;s full. You&#39;ll you&#39;ll you&#39;ll be you&#39;ll be you&#39;ll be at another elementary school across town. I said, We&#39;re moving in directly across the street. I can see the classrooms from my window. We will be going there. He&#39;s like, sorry, I don&#39;t know what to tell you, but see you at the meeting. And all I could think of was like, ah, I am a I am an unemployed, vindictive homosexual. I am not the one. I am not the one to come for because I will spend 12 hours a day, seven days a week, making your life hell until we get into that school. So I already this morning was shooting off emails and stuff. I will be showing up. I have I am so armed and prepared for this. They don&#39;t understand. Homosexuals, we have the audacity to go all the way. We have all the audacity. We have all the audacity. So um, get ready, uh, school district, because here I come. Uh, but it&#39;s like it&#39;s crazy because I&#39;m like, I didn&#39;t realize how emotional I would feel about this. I was like, no, no, no. This is where he&#39;s gonna go. But also, if he goes to the new a different school and then in second grade, they&#39;re like, Oh, yeah, you can go to the closed school. Yeah, now he&#39;s changing school. Gavin: 8:53 Totally screwed up. Oh my god. David, this has nothing to do with your son, and everything to do with the fact that somebody told you no. David: 9:02 And you&#39;re like, I told you no, and I&#39;m gay and bored. So that&#39;s a bad combination, if you ask me. Do not mix that at all. Um I yeah, really quick. Also, I forgot to tell you, my husband reminded me of uh this this morning because he likes to give me notes on the already produced podcast we&#39;ve we&#39;ve done. Um, how did you forget Dan Savage for Dream Guests? I was like fucking hell. I mean, I remember Dream Guests. Yeah, but he like changed my life. I would he is a gay dad. Like, he so sorry, Dan Savage. You are my number one. Anita Bryant obviously was a little bit of a joke uh choice. Gavin: 9:41 Um, don&#39;t worry, Dan. You were you are replacing um Anita. Listen, we got our revenge on her. Um yeah. Uh okay, shout out to Dan. Can&#39;t wait to host you here, along with all of our other dream guests, who are uh notably after all of the dream guests that we&#39;ve already had for the last 118 episodes. 118, dude. I mean I know eventually we can stop admiring the amount of time we&#39;ve spent here staring at each other in Zooms and not in person, but hey, 118. David: 10:16 I I honestly like it baffles me that we have stuck with this and the amount of work that it takes to make this happen. But also, like uh I it baffles me, and I&#39;m honored by the listener who has stuck with us for 119 episodes and who still want more of us just talking at you. Thank you, listener, talking about Gavin all the time and his his issues. So, yes, thank you for sticking with us. But it is it is baffling, like 119 produced hour of fucking podcasts is a lot. SPEAKER_00: 10:45 Yeah. Gavin: 10:45 Oh, you say sorry, uh content, yes, not nonsense. SPEAKER_00: 10:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 10:49 Um well, taking it back, old school, because we&#39;re allowed to do that at a um episode 118. Uh, when was the last time we had a what would you do? Well, have I got one for you? Ooh. So last week my daughter was away at a um volleyball camp, right? She just played volleyball all week long, complained about it incessantly for three days, had a night off. That was weird. Uh, if you came in from out of state, you could just pay an extra hundred bucks to have your daughter stay there with uh, I don&#39;t know, no supervision. But because we were only an hour away, we went and got her. She had a night off, and then she went back and she it was it was actually kind of convenient, and she didn&#39;t complain for the rest of the time. Anyway, she seems to have had a great time. The last day when we were going to meet her, uh, we got to go and like watch them play volleyball for the last hour. So I we were all stoked about it, and my son was not terribly stoked about it, but he was certainly going along. We had to drive through uh Hartford uh to get there, and suddenly my partner was driving and he was like, Ah, navigate, I took a wrong turn, blah, blah, blah. So I have his phone in my hand, and up pops a text that says, You&#39;re just coming um alone, right? Daddy is not coming, right? I don&#39;t want him here. Which meant me. So here&#39;s the what would you do in that scenario? Because boy, did I go through all the 12 stages of grief. Oh, yes, maybe 16 stages of grief, which included fury, frustration, insecurity, self-doubt, self-loathing, self-questioning, hatred, potential infanticide, uh potential um uh uh um uh partner side, uh everything. Um but what before I tell you what I did, what would you do? SPEAKER_03: 12:46 What would you do? David: 12:51 Like my earphones ring when you do that. You&#39;re welcome. Um we&#39;re going through this a little bit in our house. Right now, my kids are a little bit in a fuck papa, I love daddy phase, which normally is fine because it&#39;s like you know, an hour or so, but it&#39;s been like a couple of days. And the other day, my husband was just like, um, this feels like shit. Like, because I went through it, if you remember many, many years ago when my son was like one or one and a half, it was a good three or four months where he wouldn&#39;t let me hold him, he wouldn&#39;t let me do anything. And I fucking went crazy because I was like, What did I do? Um, so what would I do? Um, I would be really hurt, yeah, and then I would try to intellectualize it and I would go, whatever. But then what I think what I would actually do is I would pull my daughter aside and I would say, What the fuck did you no, I&#39;m kidding. I would say, Hey, I just want to make sure that I&#39;m not doing anything that bothers you. Like I I love you and support you, but I also know that maybe I could be embarrassing. So if you don&#39;t want me to come, like let me know if I can like make this better, all while in my head saying, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, ungrateful little wretch. Gavin: 14:02 Yes. Okay, but before, and I realize I&#39;m throwing this on you with a without a lot of context, but you can deal. What are the context queen? You just spent six minutes setting up. I know. I that&#39;s all I do is context. I know that&#39;s all I do. Nonsense and context, but not really content. But what would you have done before you get the chance to talk to her? Do you go to the volleyball visitation? Yes. David: 14:26 Okay. You have to go. You like the this is the part, this is like the angry dad part of me that comes. It&#39;s like you don&#39;t get to choose who comes. Yeah, but it&#39;s not this is not your who paid for it. You leave it. You&#39;re obviously spit sending a separate side text to one parent about the other. It&#39;s not like a group text that you&#39;re all in. So this is a private thing, but like we&#39;re coming, you know we&#39;re coming, that&#39;s what&#39;s gonna happen, and then we can have this private talk. No, you&#39;re not gonna like, oh, she said I she doesn&#39;t want me there. Fuck you. I pay also, I paid$10,000 for your stupid lesbian volleyball camp. Yeah. Like, I&#39;m coming to see your performance. Gavin: 15:00 I&#39;m seeing this performance that I fucking...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is obsessed with money, David is obsessed with neighborhood Facebook drama, we apologize to Dan Savage, we bring back the popular &#34;what would you do?,&#34; and finally we rank the top 3 places to pee. Questions? Comments? Rants? Rave]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is obsessed with money, David is obsessed with neighborhood Facebook drama, we apologize to Dan Savage, we bring back the popular &#34;what would you do?,&#34; and finally we rank the top 3 places to pee. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Oh, it&#39;s not just me. I love it. I just relish when you fuck up. No, this is not a fuck up. This is a a deliberate pause. A dramatic pause. A faggoty pause. You next time on another episode of Gatry Arks. No way. David: 0:18 Um and this is Gatry Arts. Gavin: 0:35 So I&#39;m uh excited. I&#39;m gonna have a weekend away with the kids, sort of. Um going into the city this weekend. And uh well, I am solo daddy, and so I am making it a bit of an amusement park weekend. Uh school has yet to start, thank God. And um, so we&#39;re gonna go into the city and um, well, stay in long story short, an empty apartment. And um, but I I and so I&#39;m thinking, well, we&#39;re gonna save money because I&#39;m not like going to you know, spend money on a hotel or an Airbnb or something, right? But it&#39;s gonna be so expensive. And it makes me think, is it just life? I feel like I see people complaining about how expensive life is. And of course, everything is Trump&#39;s fault, right? But like, no, really, is it? Is it is this is this just what everybody in their 40s since the dawn of time has realized? Oh my god, life is so expensive or is it different right now? Are you complaining about things being expensive? David: 1:25 Well, I don&#39;t complain nearly as much as you complain, but yes, I everything is expensive. Literally, we just had to put four new tires on our car. It was like$1,500. You might as well have just bought a new car. Well, I I literally did the math and I was like, if I just took Ubers everywhere I needed to go, would I have spent$1,500 for the year, but also what,$100,$200 a month in gas insurance? I was like, should I just start taking Ubers everywhere? Gavin: 1:50 I mean, I am I am I am surprised that the whole car share world has not taken off like we thought it was gonna be. You know, of course, we should also be in flying cars by now, according to the Jetsons, right? But like I am really surprised that even in New York, you know, 15 years ago, they were really trying to do the ride share thing. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s that&#39;s just not happening. People Uber, obviously, but that&#39;s gonna borrow a car pooling. Yeah. Or I&#39;m gonna use a car for eight hours and drop it off at this spot, and somebody else puts in a magical code and they keep driving it from there, you know, just that kind of thing. David: 2:25 I do remember the carpooling feature on Uber, which I think they&#39;ve gotten rid of. And I remember taking a couple of pretty awkward rides. You know what I mean? Because it&#39;s not just you and another person on other side. Sometimes there&#39;s three or four people where you&#39;re like touching shoulders with somebody, which feels normal, like on the seven train, but something about being in a car with a stranger feels very different. Gavin: 2:45 I know, but also jury duty-esque, too, right? Like imagine the short stories you get to write about rubbing the elbows, quite literally, with complete strangers and what comes of it. I mean, I suppose the three times the the 10% of times that it was bad, undoubtedly for women, because men suck. But um the five percent of times it was good between two gay dudes sitting together and the back of the Do you know what I mean? David: 3:09 That could be the beginning of a really beautiful love story. Absolutely. All right, so I am moving, and I&#39;ve just decided it&#39;s been my it&#39;s gonna be my entire identity for the next month because this is insufferable. It&#39;s so insufferable. Gavin: 3:24 It&#39;s can I get a guest, a special guest star co-host, so we don&#39;t have to talk about moving for the next two episodes? David: 3:30 But you know, I realize that like you don&#39;t move very often, right? Like you move once every five, 10, 15 years. That&#39;s why it&#39;s so stressful. Well, also, you just don&#39;t have any idea how much shit is in your house. But that&#39;s not what I&#39;m gonna talk about. I want to talk about this week um the Facebook groups, because I don&#39;t know about your town, but we have, you know, local buy nothing groups and local neighborhood groups where people say, Hey, there&#39;s a dog on Main Street and Elm or whatever. And so obviously, I&#39;m a member of a lot of the groups here, the sales groups or whatever. And now I&#39;m starting to join the new town groups. Yeah, transitioning. So it&#39;s so fucking funny to like see what is always the same. And one of the things I&#39;ve noticed that is always the same are people in the groups complaining about how the neighborhood is changing. And this wasn&#39;t the way when I was a kid. Oh right? The old person, like, you know, oh my God, they&#39;re knocking down this. God, this this neighborhood&#39;s going to hell in a handbasket. Right. And now that I&#39;m moving from one neighborhood to another, it is hilarious that everybody has people in their neighborhood who are mad that it&#39;s changing and who think it&#39;s going to the dumps. Yeah. Everyone&#39;s saying everyone&#39;s fleeing this neighborhood because of the crime. No, they&#39;re not. They are not doing that. You are old and you hate change. And it&#39;s just And everything&#39;s expensive. And everything is expensive. I that I was looking right at Gavin when I said you are old and everything, you know. But also, what&#39;s hilarious is I&#39;m now gonna be in a new pool of Facebook neighborhood drama. Yes, you are. And you know it&#39;s catnip to me. It is catnip. So I joined this new town&#39;s uh Facebook groups, and the first post I saw was the drama that the yarn club was kicked out of the library. And the post was now that the yarn club has been banned from the library, here&#39;s what we&#39;re here&#39;s where we&#39;ll be meeting. And of course, I was like, I I broke my neck running to the comments. I was like, what happened at the library with the yarn club? I need to know this information. So I I still don&#39;t know. Evan, all I know is that they got rowdy, and so now all I have is more questions. All I have is more questions. I that didn&#39;t satisfy me at all. So I all I all I am came here to say is if you&#39;re considering a move, do it just for the new drama. Just do it for the new neighborhood drama because it is everything. Gavin: 5:57 You know what? This catnip that you&#39;re just talking about about um uh being able to watch the Facebook group&#39;s spiral out of control, it did remind me that just today I was uh you know killing my time and uh with the brain rot of going through Instagram, and I found a really funny meme that I spent sent specifically to Jamie Grayson, our friend of the pod. And I didn&#39;t actually post on our stories, but it was just I all I could think was Jamie. And it&#39;s at one awkward mom, maybe she&#39;s my something special today, something great, um, who is hilarious. And she writes sometimes when I&#39;m bored, I like to post a picture of my child&#39;s car seat buckled incorrectly to a face group, Facebook mom group. David: 6:36 And have people fucking panic. Yes. Cece Kane, uh a for a former guest of ours as well, is up on the internet. And she is she is very she does a lot of like Facebook mom drama group stuff. Gavin: 6:49 Hilarious. Yes, that&#39;s why we had her on because she is so good at just stirring that pot and sitting back with just a cigarette and popcorn. A bunch. David: 6:57 Yes, exactly. Um, some other drama that I&#39;m experiencing now with my move is we are having to register our kids for a new school district. And I was like, oh, I&#39;ll just fill out some paperwork, do some things, bada bing, bada boom. Uh uh for context, we are purchasing a home directly across the street from an elementary school. Wow. And so one of the things in this um city you have to do is you fill out all your paperwork and then you have to have an in-person meeting to prove your residency or whatever. And ICE isn&#39;t gonna come to the school and grab you. Correct. Um, and I called and I was like, oh, we&#39;re directly across from the school, which we&#39;re gonna be going to in the fall and we want to register. And the guy goes, That school is full, you&#39;re not going there. I said, but he said, Yeah, the school&#39;s full. You&#39;ll you&#39;ll you&#39;ll be you&#39;ll be you&#39;ll be at another elementary school across town. I said, We&#39;re moving in directly across the street. I can see the classrooms from my window. We will be going there. He&#39;s like, sorry, I don&#39;t know what to tell you, but see you at the meeting. And all I could think of was like, ah, I am a I am an unemployed, vindictive homosexual. I am not the one. I am not the one to come for because I will spend 12 hours a day, seven days a week, making your life hell until we get into that school. So I already this morning was shooting off emails and stuff. I will be showing up. I have I am so armed and prepared for this. They don&#39;t understand. Homosexuals, we have the audacity to go all the way. We have all the audacity. We have all the audacity. So um, get ready, uh, school district, because here I come. Uh, but it&#39;s like it&#39;s crazy because I&#39;m like, I didn&#39;t realize how emotional I would feel about this. I was like, no, no, no. This is where he&#39;s gonna go. But also, if he goes to the new a different school and then in second grade, they&#39;re like, Oh, yeah, you can go to the closed school. Yeah, now he&#39;s changing school. Gavin: 8:53 Totally screwed up. Oh my god. David, this has nothing to do with your son, and everything to do with the fact that somebody told you no. David: 9:02 And you&#39;re like, I told you no, and I&#39;m gay and bored. So that&#39;s a bad combination, if you ask me. Do not mix that at all. Um I yeah, really quick. Also, I forgot to tell you, my husband reminded me of uh this this morning because he likes to give me notes on the already produced podcast we&#39;ve we&#39;ve done. Um, how did you forget Dan Savage for Dream Guests? I was like fucking hell. I mean, I remember Dream Guests. Yeah, but he like changed my life. I would he is a gay dad. Like, he so sorry, Dan Savage. You are my number one. Anita Bryant obviously was a little bit of a joke uh choice. Gavin: 9:41 Um, don&#39;t worry, Dan. You were you are replacing um Anita. Listen, we got our revenge on her. Um yeah. Uh okay, shout out to Dan. Can&#39;t wait to host you here, along with all of our other dream guests, who are uh notably after all of the dream guests that we&#39;ve already had for the last 118 episodes. 118, dude. I mean I know eventually we can stop admiring the amount of time we&#39;ve spent here staring at each other in Zooms and not in person, but hey, 118. David: 10:16 I I honestly like it baffles me that we have stuck with this and the amount of work that it takes to make this happen. But also, like uh I it baffles me, and I&#39;m honored by the listener who has stuck with us for 119 episodes and who still want more of us just talking at you. Thank you, listener, talking about Gavin all the time and his his issues. So, yes, thank you for sticking with us. But it is it is baffling, like 119 produced hour of fucking podcasts is a lot. SPEAKER_00: 10:45 Yeah. Gavin: 10:45 Oh, you say sorry, uh content, yes, not nonsense. SPEAKER_00: 10:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 10:49 Um well, taking it back, old school, because we&#39;re allowed to do that at a um episode 118. Uh, when was the last time we had a what would you do? Well, have I got one for you? Ooh. So last week my daughter was away at a um volleyball camp, right? She just played volleyball all week long, complained about it incessantly for three days, had a night off. That was weird. Uh, if you came in from out of state, you could just pay an extra hundred bucks to have your daughter stay there with uh, I don&#39;t know, no supervision. But because we were only an hour away, we went and got her. She had a night off, and then she went back and she it was it was actually kind of convenient, and she didn&#39;t complain for the rest of the time. Anyway, she seems to have had a great time. The last day when we were going to meet her, uh, we got to go and like watch them play volleyball for the last hour. So I we were all stoked about it, and my son was not terribly stoked about it, but he was certainly going along. We had to drive through uh Hartford uh to get there, and suddenly my partner was driving and he was like, Ah, navigate, I took a wrong turn, blah, blah, blah. So I have his phone in my hand, and up pops a text that says, You&#39;re just coming um alone, right? Daddy is not coming, right? I don&#39;t want him here. Which meant me. So here&#39;s the what would you do in that scenario? Because boy, did I go through all the 12 stages of grief. Oh, yes, maybe 16 stages of grief, which included fury, frustration, insecurity, self-doubt, self-loathing, self-questioning, hatred, potential infanticide, uh potential um uh uh um uh partner side, uh everything. Um but what before I tell you what I did, what would you do? SPEAKER_03: 12:46 What would you do? David: 12:51 Like my earphones ring when you do that. You&#39;re welcome. Um we&#39;re going through this a little bit in our house. Right now, my kids are a little bit in a fuck papa, I love daddy phase, which normally is fine because it&#39;s like you know, an hour or so, but it&#39;s been like a couple of days. And the other day, my husband was just like, um, this feels like shit. Like, because I went through it, if you remember many, many years ago when my son was like one or one and a half, it was a good three or four months where he wouldn&#39;t let me hold him, he wouldn&#39;t let me do anything. And I fucking went crazy because I was like, What did I do? Um, so what would I do? Um, I would be really hurt, yeah, and then I would try to intellectualize it and I would go, whatever. But then what I think what I would actually do is I would pull my daughter aside and I would say, What the fuck did you no, I&#39;m kidding. I would say, Hey, I just want to make sure that I&#39;m not doing anything that bothers you. Like I I love you and support you, but I also know that maybe I could be embarrassing. So if you don&#39;t want me to come, like let me know if I can like make this better, all while in my head saying, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, ungrateful little wretch. Gavin: 14:02 Yes. Okay, but before, and I realize I&#39;m throwing this on you with a without a lot of context, but you can deal. What are the context queen? You just spent six minutes setting up. I know. I that&#39;s all I do is context. I know that&#39;s all I do. Nonsense and context, but not really content. But what would you have done before you get the chance to talk to her? Do you go to the volleyball visitation? Yes. David: 14:26 Okay. You have to go. You like the this is the part, this is like the angry dad part of me that comes. It&#39;s like you don&#39;t get to choose who comes. Yeah, but it&#39;s not this is not your who paid for it. You leave it. You&#39;re obviously spit sending a separate side text to one parent about the other. It&#39;s not like a group text that you&#39;re all in. So this is a private thing, but like we&#39;re coming, you know we&#39;re coming, that&#39;s what&#39;s gonna happen, and then we can have this private talk. No, you&#39;re not gonna like, oh, she said I she doesn&#39;t want me there. Fuck you. I pay also, I paid$10,000 for your stupid lesbian volleyball camp. Yeah. Like, I&#39;m coming to see your performance. Gavin: 15:00 I&#39;m seeing this performance that I fucking...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is obsessed with money, David is obsessed with neighborhood Facebook drama, we apologize to Dan Savage, we bring back the popular &#34;what would you do?,&#34; and finally we rank the top 3 places to pee. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Oh, it&#39;s not just me. I love it. I just relish when you fuck up. No, this is not a fuck up. This is a a deliberate pause. A dramatic pause. A faggoty pause. You next time on another episode of Gatry Arks. No way. David: 0:18 Um and this is Gatry Arts. Gavin: 0:35 So I&#39;m uh excited. I&#39;m gonna have a weekend away with the kids, sort of. Um going into the city this weekend. And uh well, I am solo daddy, and so I am making it a bit of an amusement park weekend. Uh school has yet to start, thank God. And um, so we&#39;re gonna go into the city and um, well, stay in long story short, an empty apartment. And um, but I I and so I&#39;m thinking, well, we&#39;re gonna save money because I&#39;m not like going to you know, spend money on a hotel or an Airbnb or something, right? But it&#39;s gonna be so expensive. And it makes me think, is it just life? I feel like I see people complaining about how expensive life is. And of course, everything is Trump&#39;s fault, right? But like, no, really, is it? Is it is this is this just what everybody in their 40s since the dawn of time has realized? Oh my god, life is so expensive or is it different right now? Are you complaining about things being expensive? David: 1:25 Well, I don&#39;t complain nearly as much as you complain, but yes, I everything is expensive. Literally, we just had to put four new tires on our car. It was like$1,500. You might as well have just bought a new car. Well, I I literally did the math and I was like, if I just took Ubers everywhere I needed to go, would I have spent$1,500 for the year, but also what,$100,$200 a month in gas insurance? I was like, should I just start taking Ubers everywhere? Gavin: 1:50 I mean, I am I am I am surprised that the whole car share world has not taken off like we thought it was gonna be. You know, of course, we should also be in flying cars by now, according to the Jetsons, right? But like I am really surprised that even in New York, you know, 15 years ago, they were really trying to do the ride share thing. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s that&#39;s just not happening. People Uber, obviously, but that&#39;s gonna borrow a car pooling. Yeah. Or I&#39;m gonna use a car for eight hours and drop it off at this spot, and somebody else puts in a magical code and they keep driving it from there, you know, just that kind of thing. David: 2:25 I do remember the carpooling feature on Uber, which I think they&#39;ve gotten rid of. And I remember taking a couple of pretty awkward rides. You know what I mean? Because it&#39;s not just you and another person on other side. Sometimes there&#39;s three or four people where you&#39;re like touching shoulders with somebody, which feels normal, like on the seven train, but something about being in a car with a stranger feels very different. Gavin: 2:45 I know, but also jury duty-esque, too, right? Like imagine the short stories you get to write about rubbing the elbows, quite literally, with complete strangers and what comes of it. I mean, I suppose the three times the the 10% of times that it was bad, undoubtedly for women, because men suck. But um the five percent of times it was good between two gay dudes sitting together and the back of the Do you know what I mean? David: 3:09 That could be the beginning of a really beautiful love story. Absolutely. All right, so I am moving, and I&#39;ve just decided it&#39;s been my it&#39;s gonna be my entire identity for the next month because this is insufferable. It&#39;s so insufferable. Gavin: 3:24 It&#39;s can I get a guest, a special guest star co-host, so we don&#39;t hav]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is obsessed with money, David is obsessed with neighborhood Facebook drama, we apologize to Dan Savage, we bring back the popular &#34;what would you do?,&#34; and finally we rank the top 3 places to pee. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Oh, it&#39;s not just me. I love it. I just relish when you fuck up. No, this is not a fuck up. This is a a deliberate pause. A dramatic pause. A faggoty pause. You next time on another episode of Gatry Arks. No way. David: 0:18 Um and this is Gatry Arts. Gavin: 0:35 So I&#39;m uh excited. I&#39;m gonna have a weekend away with the kids, sort of. Um going into the city this weekend. And uh well, I am solo daddy, and so I am making it a bit of an amusement park weekend. Uh school has yet to start, thank God. And um, so we&#39;re gonna go into the city and um, well, stay in long story short, an empty apartment]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>It&#8217;s poop (us) again!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/its-poop-us-again/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Aug 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos; son is becoming MAGA, Gavin forces his kids to learn a lesson on working hard, kids pee in weird places, Gavin has an actually helpful Dad hack, we rank our top 3 Dream guests for Gaytriarchs, and in honor, we don&apos;t have a guest. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 These are times that I do remind myself, you&#39;re like, I will do most of the work. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I really, you know, please. I can my insecurities please just say one time, I am doing the best I can. I really, really am. And I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:18 And this is Gateriarchs. So, my son, I think I told you from Memorial Day at his kindergarten, they had a Memorial Day concert, and he like had a line, and I was so fucking proud, and I was that douchey dad in the front row cheering or whatever. Right. Well, ever since, my son has been very interested and fascinated with patriotism. He wants to know who&#39;s in the army, who is fighting for our country. Really? What like what American flag can we have American flags? Who we are American? Like, he&#39;s so into patriotism. That&#39;s fascinating. Okay. It&#39;s starting to worry me. Uh-huh. Because as we know, patriotism, like real, like earnest patriotism in 2025 usually means MAGA. Gavin: 1:21 It is. Well, I even though this is your topic. I have so many things to say about it. You usually do. I mean, first of all, this does remind me immediately of a couple of years ago not wanting to put up an American flag. Or rather, you know, feeling self-conscious about putting up an American flag. And my partner was like, Don&#39;t you dare let them take that away from us. We are patriots. We&#39;re proud to be here. Just put up a pride flag next to it. And so that your votes are signaled like that. But it is terrible. It isn&#39;t, isn&#39;t it sad that I&#39;m proud to be an American where at least I&#39;m can sing off key. And um, yeah, anyway. Okay. David: 2:03 We talked about this during Pride because I remember we felt the same way where you&#39;re like, yeah, I want to fly an American flag, but I don&#39;t want people to think I&#39;m an idiot asshole, which is what that normally means now. Gavin: 2:12 Yeah, DC nationalism is not the same as patriotism. David: 2:15 Totally. But it is funny from an almost six-year-old to come and just be him be like, let&#39;s fire an American flag. Like who let like talk about the army or whatever. And I&#39;m like, bro, slow down on the patriotism thing. Um, but it&#39;s also being coupled with we are an atheist family. We have talked about God. Loud and proud. Yes, we we have we have talked about God. He he understands that we, as his parents, don&#39;t believe in God, but some people do, and that&#39;s what religion is. Like, we we try to be like very kind of like broad with him because he had a friend that was really religious and he was starting to say religious things, and we were like, no, no, no, no, no. God did not make that. Paul down the street made that. You like, like, whatever. Anyway, but now he wants to start reading the Bible. He&#39;s like, I want to read the Bible. I said, Why? He goes, Well, because Jenny in my class does, and that&#39;s the only reason, right? I&#39;m not putting anything more on this, but as an adult who knows what that stuff means, I&#39;m like terrified that my beautiful little almost six-year-old is gonna become a MAGA cult leader soon. Gavin: 3:22 They&#39;re gonna say he&#39;s the second coming. What if it, but like what if he&#39;s like their messiah? And then you&#39;re like rich and famous. David: 3:29 Yeah, it&#39;s only I&#39;m only okay with that as long as it&#39;s like some sort of scheme. Do you know what I mean? Like it&#39;s some sort of like gemstones, exactly. Gavin: 3:38 Which is exactly what is happening in reality anyway. So you know, funny enough, my partner and I often joke, we&#39;re like, what if our son rebels against us by becoming a manga Republican? Yeah, because our household is so woke. Yeah, and he&#39;s the least, uh, he&#39;s the most conventional, I suppose, of all of us. And even though I do think that he cares deeply about the fact that he does have gay parents, for instance, I&#39;ve seen him in texts actually to his friends. Colton, if you&#39;re listening to this right now, sorry, yes, I do read your texts occasionally when I think about it, every four months. And um, and you know, he has after the election, for instance, he&#39;s texted his friends, I&#39;m really worried about what&#39;s happening because I have gay dads. Yeah, isn&#39;t that sweet? And also let me take that worry away from you, buddy. But what if he&#39;s like, I am so sick of these, you know, queers running around in my life that his college essay is gonna be like, please, Bob Jones University, take me and bring us back to white nationalist America. David: 4:39 Yeah, absolutely. Oh my god. Yeah. No, I mean, but like every every generation rebels against their own, right? And we just hope it&#39;s not you know progress or whatever. Gavin: 4:48 Yeah, that that way. But you know what? Listen, you do need, hey, again, introduce him to the Bible. It&#39;s cultural literacy. No, you know, find it. It&#39;s poison. David: 4:57 You just refuse. It&#39;s fucking poison. Because you know what it feels like? It feels like a gateway drug. It feels like you&#39;re gonna want to like study the Bible and then you&#39;re gonna want to go to church, and then all of a sudden you&#39;re gonna be like, well, sex before marriage is in the Bible. And you&#39;re like, stop it. Stop it. Um, we are very different, Gabin. You are very, I think you&#39;re not afraid, not afraid. I am very anti-theist. I&#39;m very, I&#39;m not atheist. I&#39;m very anti-theist, even though I do know it&#39;s done good some good for family members who just want some peace and stuff. In general, I think it has been one of the worst things to ever happen in the world. But my I&#39;m trying to not put any of that weight on my child because I know my child is just if it was fucking Roblox, he&#39;d be like, I want to look at Roblox. I know that&#39;s what it is right now, but it fills me with such fear because there&#39;s such hate and poison in vitriol in these communities, patriotism and religion. It&#39;s not all, it&#39;s not all, right? But it is mostly that, and I get so afraid that that will be some sort of rebellion against him. I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll at least be a Mormon. Be one of like the cool like new religions. Gavin: 5:58 Mormonism as the cool new religions. It is. David: 6:01 It was like it wasn&#39;t like like the 30s or 40s when it was made up. Gavin: 6:04 Like not exactly the 30s and the 40s, but you should definitely read um Under the Banner of Heaven. David: 6:12 I have read it, it&#39;s amazing. And I worked in Salt Lake City at Pioneer Theater, and I&#39;m fascinated by it. Gavin: 6:18 Oh, Under the Banner of Heaven is really great. It&#39;s amazing. Well, speaking of not at all religion whatsoever, my daughter&#39;s been away at uh a sleepaway camp this week, and it was a volleyball camp, and she was really, really stoked about going to a volleyball camp because she prides herself on her volleyballism, right? Um I&#39;m like, you do realize going to a sports camp means you&#39;re going to have to work hard. This isn&#39;t this isn&#39;t arts and crafts. This is volleyball three times a day for more than 20 minutes, right? Girl, you know she was texting me within two hours. Two hours saying there&#39;s no Starbucks here. All caps, this sucks. I hate it. With spelling um errors also involved. And this time I did not correct the errors, snap or you know, take a screenshot and send it back. I was like, uh, hang in there, sweetie, hang in there, sweetie. And I I took off her limits on her social media because I&#39;m like, girl. David: 7:15 That&#39;s such kid canon is to hate your summer camp and just be like, I don&#39;t want to be here anymore. Gavin: 7:19 I can understand though doing like a sports thing three, two, three times a day, right? Um, but you know, she still found a way to say, hey, can I have$40 um so I can buy the swag here? And but she&#39;s at a she&#39;s basically at a college. She&#39;s staying at a bougie um prep school and staying in the dorms and eating food with all the girls and like living a college life. Let me tell you, David, we went through it. The pictures that I sent my partner, because he was dropping off our son at another camp at exactly the same time. Uh, he&#39;s like, I could cry looking at this. I mean, she&#39;s a grown-up going to college this year and she&#39;s only going into high school. It was a it was a thing. But anyway, she&#39;s so far made it through, even though she complains every single day and asks for money every single day. But I mean, I&#39;m like, and she&#39;s there with a friend, and the other friend um is also complaining about it to those parents. And those parents were like, Do you think we should go up and take him out? And I&#39;m like, hell no. This is called working hard and working through adversity. And that is the name of my memoir because I uh my parenting memoir, because I um our kids don&#39;t work hard, you know? They don&#39;t, they don&#39;t, they don&#39;t work hard. David: 8:28 So um, you know what my kids can do is be weird. My kids have been so weird this week in a way that is like terrifying. So, first of all, my daughter has just decided that it&#39;s a funny thing to say, guess because when you know you&#39;re what are you gonna be when you grow up? Uh a doctor, a lawyer. Her now thinks she&#39;s like, I&#39;m gonna be dead when I grow up. Yep. Like a fucking weirdo. I&#39;m gonna be dead when I grow up. And she laughs because we react like, what the fuck? And it&#39;s very strange because she&#39;ll say it to anybody. And then also, my son was helping me in the garage the other day because I told you we&#39;re moving and we&#39;re packing and stuff. And um, I go out of the garage to go do something. I come back in the garage and I&#39;m moving stuff and I was like, why is it wet in here? What the fuck is happening? Like, oh my god, water got in from the roof. And then I&#39;m like, this is weird. And he, my son is just looking at me in a way where I&#39;m like, What did you do? And I&#39;m like, did he pour his drink out? He pissed in the garage. He just pissed in the garage for fun. He just wanted to pee in the garage. And at first I was really like upset and not upset, but like annoyed and like, why did you do this, whatever? And then immediately I was like, you know what? It feels good to pee in the garage, you know? Yeah. I mean and he just goes, I was I was curious and I wanted to pee. I said, All right, dude. Gavin: 9:41 Okay You know what? That curiosity is really fascinating. One time, confession time, here we&#39;re introducing a new sec session uh or a new um element of Gatriarchs into our own confession time about our weird childhoods. I peed in my basement one time. Uh and I remembered being screamed at by my mom. It was seriously traumatizing. And you know what? It&#39;s just it really, I mean, I was yikes, three, four, but I do remember, I remember what being screamed at about it. But I gotta say, but like it felt good and you just wanted to do it. David: 10:16 I guess yeah, it was just a crew. It&#39;s a boy thing. I like it. It was just a curiosity thing, I guess. Gavin: 10:21 I don&#39;t feeling good. I don&#39;t know even know what you mean by feeling good, but in the sense of like, I just, I don&#39;t know, there was a little part of me that what wanted to be naughty? David: 10:31 A very little part of you, like a three to four inch part of you. Three to four inches from the ground. So yeah, my son peace in the garage and my daughter&#39;s gonna be dead when she grows up. Gavin: 10:44 So that does remind me my son came home from a camp a couple of weeks ago and he said, Um, hey, you know what? I&#39;ve decided who I want to be when I grow up. Oh, what is that? Well, of course I want to be a soccer player, and then I want to be paid, I want to be a paid sleeper. I&#39;m like, what&#39;s that? He&#39;s he devised this. David: 11:05 Because we so sex work is work, but like, I don&#39;t think that&#39;s what he means. Gavin: 11:10 He wants to be paid to um try out mattresses. David: 11:12 Oh, that&#39;s a dream job. It&#39;s like being paid to be on like Master Chef and just taste all the dishes. Like that&#39;s a fucking dream job. Gavin: 11:19 Yeah, I thought it was really smart. So I hope that um I hope that there&#39;s a college out there that will prepare him for that and won&#39;t cost me too much money. David: 11:25 Um, what else is smart? What how can you make us smarter with a dad hack? Gavin: 11:29 Oh, I mean okay. Uh have you thought about this? Um probably not. Did you set up an email account for your in your kids&#39; names or social media accounts even? And I don&#39;t mean using them, but like lock down that serve them, yeah. Davidson at gmail.com kind of situation. David: 11:47 Well, I have not done their email addresses, but I have done their Instagrams because we we decided early on, because like I was kind of annoyed by people on Facebook who just constantly post pictures of their children. I&#39;m like, enough, nobody cares about your kids. Um and I was like, but also I realized people want the people who want pictures want pictures. So we created two private Instagrams of my kids that we post to every day. So the people who want to see that can just log on and see a ton of pictures, and then they don&#39;t have to see it. But I don&#39;t have their emails, but that&#39;s a good idea. I should get them. Gavin: 12:15 Lock those down. Yeah, I got my kids. Like I&#39;ve seen an of a um uh a meme that said something along the lines of, you know, hey, but uh Gen Zier says to me, What is your email address? And my email address is gaven.k.log, right? And they&#39;re like, Wait, you have your own name? And I&#39;m like, Yes. Yes, I was there. That&#39;s how old I am. I was there at the beginning of the city. David: 12:34 I was one of the five invitees that got from somebody else&#39;s invitation. Gavin: 12:38 But yeah, um, get those, get those for your kids now before they are sold to the highest bidder in Russia. That&#39;s a really great idea. You know what else is a really great idea? What? Well, not quite yet our top three list. David: 12:51 Yeah, you really you you really faked us all out. Everyone in the just like set up. And then you just created a couple car crashes. Gavin: 12:58 So um, first of all, there&#39;s no good news in uh there&#39;s no good gay news, period. Leaving at that. Uh, but I do have well, you know what? We&#39;re gonna we&#39;re gonna morph the dilf of the week with good gay news, okay? Okay, which is simply that our dilf of the week is Governor Andy Bashir of Kentucky. You&#39;ve seen him, right? David: 13:18 Yeah, I&#39;m pretty sure he was our Dilf of the Week another time. But it doesn&#39;t matter because he&#39;s gorgeous. Well, and we love him. Gavin: 13:26 Thank you. So thank you for clouding over my complete irresponsibility. Um, since our intern, we should name our intern. What is our intern&#39;s name? Our intern did not tell me, did not do my homework for me, and tell me that we&#39;ve already had Andy Bashir. Are you sure? Yeah, we probably have Andy Bashir. Anyway, listen, you think about our intern&#39;s name, and then we can blame. I will blame everything, all of my shortcomings on fill in the blank, okay? Anyway, new this just in. Governor Andy Bashir sued the Trump administration to get the 77 million dollars that the feds were withholding from the Kentucky educational funds. And he won. So he beat Trump, and that is not the only reason he&#39;s our doof of the week. Also because he&#39;s just really cute. And he&#39;s so...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos; son is becoming MAGA, Gavin forces his kids to learn a lesson on working hard, kids pee in weird places, Gavin has an actually helpful Dad hack, we rank our top 3 Dream guests for Gaytriarchs, and in honor, we don&apos;t have a gue]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos; son is becoming MAGA, Gavin forces his kids to learn a lesson on working hard, kids pee in weird places, Gavin has an actually helpful Dad hack, we rank our top 3 Dream guests for Gaytriarchs, and in honor, we don&apos;t have a guest. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 These are times that I do remind myself, you&#39;re like, I will do most of the work. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I really, you know, please. I can my insecurities please just say one time, I am doing the best I can. I really, really am. And I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:18 And this is Gateriarchs. So, my son, I think I told you from Memorial Day at his kindergarten, they had a Memorial Day concert, and he like had a line, and I was so fucking proud, and I was that douchey dad in the front row cheering or whatever. Right. Well, ever since, my son has been very interested and fascinated with patriotism. He wants to know who&#39;s in the army, who is fighting for our country. Really? What like what American flag can we have American flags? Who we are American? Like, he&#39;s so into patriotism. That&#39;s fascinating. Okay. It&#39;s starting to worry me. Uh-huh. Because as we know, patriotism, like real, like earnest patriotism in 2025 usually means MAGA. Gavin: 1:21 It is. Well, I even though this is your topic. I have so many things to say about it. You usually do. I mean, first of all, this does remind me immediately of a couple of years ago not wanting to put up an American flag. Or rather, you know, feeling self-conscious about putting up an American flag. And my partner was like, Don&#39;t you dare let them take that away from us. We are patriots. We&#39;re proud to be here. Just put up a pride flag next to it. And so that your votes are signaled like that. But it is terrible. It isn&#39;t, isn&#39;t it sad that I&#39;m proud to be an American where at least I&#39;m can sing off key. And um, yeah, anyway. Okay. David: 2:03 We talked about this during Pride because I remember we felt the same way where you&#39;re like, yeah, I want to fly an American flag, but I don&#39;t want people to think I&#39;m an idiot asshole, which is what that normally means now. Gavin: 2:12 Yeah, DC nationalism is not the same as patriotism. David: 2:15 Totally. But it is funny from an almost six-year-old to come and just be him be like, let&#39;s fire an American flag. Like who let like talk about the army or whatever. And I&#39;m like, bro, slow down on the patriotism thing. Um, but it&#39;s also being coupled with we are an atheist family. We have talked about God. Loud and proud. Yes, we we have we have talked about God. He he understands that we, as his parents, don&#39;t believe in God, but some people do, and that&#39;s what religion is. Like, we we try to be like very kind of like broad with him because he had a friend that was really religious and he was starting to say religious things, and we were like, no, no, no, no, no. God did not make that. Paul down the street made that. You like, like, whatever. Anyway, but now he wants to start reading the Bible. He&#39;s like, I want to read the Bible. I said, Why? He goes, Well, because Jenny in my class does, and that&#39;s the only reason, right? I&#39;m not putting anything more on this, but as an adult who knows what that stuff means, I&#39;m like terrified that my beautiful little almost six-year-old is gonna become a MAGA cult leader soon. Gavin: 3:22 They&#39;re gonna say he&#39;s the second coming. What if it, but like what if he&#39;s like their messiah? And then you&#39;re like rich and famous. David: 3:29 Yeah, it&#39;s only I&#39;m only okay with that as long as it&#39;s like some sort of scheme. Do you know what I mean? Like it&#39;s some sort of like gemstones, exactly. Gavin: 3:38 Which is exactly what is happening in reality anyway. So you know, funny enough, my partner and I often joke, we&#39;re like, what if our son rebels against us by becoming a manga Republican? Yeah, because our household is so woke. Yeah, and he&#39;s the least, uh, he&#39;s the most conventional, I suppose, of all of us. And even though I do think that he cares deeply about the fact that he does have gay parents, for instance, I&#39;ve seen him in texts actually to his friends. Colton, if you&#39;re listening to this right now, sorry, yes, I do read your texts occasionally when I think about it, every four months. And um, and you know, he has after the election, for instance, he&#39;s texted his friends, I&#39;m really worried about what&#39;s happening because I have gay dads. Yeah, isn&#39;t that sweet? And also let me take that worry away from you, buddy. But what if he&#39;s like, I am so sick of these, you know, queers running around in my life that his college essay is gonna be like, please, Bob Jones University, take me and bring us back to white nationalist America. David: 4:39 Yeah, absolutely. Oh my god. Yeah. No, I mean, but like every every generation rebels against their own, right? And we just hope it&#39;s not you know progress or whatever. Gavin: 4:48 Yeah, that that way. But you know what? Listen, you do need, hey, again, introduce him to the Bible. It&#39;s cultural literacy. No, you know, find it. It&#39;s poison. David: 4:57 You just refuse. It&#39;s fucking poison. Because you know what it feels like? It feels like a gateway drug. It feels like you&#39;re gonna want to like study the Bible and then you&#39;re gonna want to go to church, and then all of a sudden you&#39;re gonna be like, well, sex before marriage is in the Bible. And you&#39;re like, stop it. Stop it. Um, we are very different, Gabin. You are very, I think you&#39;re not afraid, not afraid. I am very anti-theist. I&#39;m very, I&#39;m not atheist. I&#39;m very anti-theist, even though I do know it&#39;s done good some good for family members who just want some peace and stuff. In general, I think it has been one of the worst things to ever happen in the world. But my I&#39;m trying to not put any of that weight on my child because I know my child is just if it was fucking Roblox, he&#39;d be like, I want to look at Roblox. I know that&#39;s what it is right now, but it fills me with such fear because there&#39;s such hate and poison in vitriol in these communities, patriotism and religion. It&#39;s not all, it&#39;s not all, right? But it is mostly that, and I get so afraid that that will be some sort of rebellion against him. I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll at least be a Mormon. Be one of like the cool like new religions. Gavin: 5:58 Mormonism as the cool new religions. It is. David: 6:01 It was like it wasn&#39;t like like the 30s or 40s when it was made up. Gavin: 6:04 Like not exactly the 30s and the 40s, but you should definitely read um Under the Banner of Heaven. David: 6:12 I have read it, it&#39;s amazing. And I worked in Salt Lake City at Pioneer Theater, and I&#39;m fascinated by it. Gavin: 6:18 Oh, Under the Banner of Heaven is really great. It&#39;s amazing. Well, speaking of not at all religion whatsoever, my daughter&#39;s been away at uh a sleepaway camp this week, and it was a volleyball camp, and she was really, really stoked about going to a volleyball camp because she prides herself on her volleyballism, right? Um I&#39;m like, you do realize going to a sports camp means you&#39;re going to have to work hard. This isn&#39;t this isn&#39;t arts and crafts. This is volleyball three times a day for more than 20 minutes, right? Girl, you know she was texting me within two hours. Two hours saying there&#39;s no Starbucks here. All caps, this sucks. I hate it. With spelling um errors also involved. And this time I did not correct the errors, snap or you know, take a screenshot and send it back. I was like, uh, hang in there, sweetie, hang in there, sweetie. And I I took off her limits on her social media because I&#39;m like, girl. David: 7:15 That&#39;s such kid canon is to hate your summer camp and just be like, I don&#39;t want to be here anymore. Gavin: 7:19 I can understand though doing like a sports thing three, two, three times a day, right? Um, but you know, she still found a way to say, hey, can I have$40 um so I can buy the swag here? And but she&#39;s at a she&#39;s basically at a college. She&#39;s staying at a bougie um prep school and staying in the dorms and eating food with all the girls and like living a college life. Let me tell you, David, we went through it. The pictures that I sent my partner, because he was dropping off our son at another camp at exactly the same time. Uh, he&#39;s like, I could cry looking at this. I mean, she&#39;s a grown-up going to college this year and she&#39;s only going into high school. It was a it was a thing. But anyway, she&#39;s so far made it through, even though she complains every single day and asks for money every single day. But I mean, I&#39;m like, and she&#39;s there with a friend, and the other friend um is also complaining about it to those parents. And those parents were like, Do you think we should go up and take him out? And I&#39;m like, hell no. This is called working hard and working through adversity. And that is the name of my memoir because I uh my parenting memoir, because I um our kids don&#39;t work hard, you know? They don&#39;t, they don&#39;t, they don&#39;t work hard. David: 8:28 So um, you know what my kids can do is be weird. My kids have been so weird this week in a way that is like terrifying. So, first of all, my daughter has just decided that it&#39;s a funny thing to say, guess because when you know you&#39;re what are you gonna be when you grow up? Uh a doctor, a lawyer. Her now thinks she&#39;s like, I&#39;m gonna be dead when I grow up. Yep. Like a fucking weirdo. I&#39;m gonna be dead when I grow up. And she laughs because we react like, what the fuck? And it&#39;s very strange because she&#39;ll say it to anybody. And then also, my son was helping me in the garage the other day because I told you we&#39;re moving and we&#39;re packing and stuff. And um, I go out of the garage to go do something. I come back in the garage and I&#39;m moving stuff and I was like, why is it wet in here? What the fuck is happening? Like, oh my god, water got in from the roof. And then I&#39;m like, this is weird. And he, my son is just looking at me in a way where I&#39;m like, What did you do? And I&#39;m like, did he pour his drink out? He pissed in the garage. He just pissed in the garage for fun. He just wanted to pee in the garage. And at first I was really like upset and not upset, but like annoyed and like, why did you do this, whatever? And then immediately I was like, you know what? It feels good to pee in the garage, you know? Yeah. I mean and he just goes, I was I was curious and I wanted to pee. I said, All right, dude. Gavin: 9:41 Okay You know what? That curiosity is really fascinating. One time, confession time, here we&#39;re introducing a new sec session uh or a new um element of Gatriarchs into our own confession time about our weird childhoods. I peed in my basement one time. Uh and I remembered being screamed at by my mom. It was seriously traumatizing. And you know what? It&#39;s just it really, I mean, I was yikes, three, four, but I do remember, I remember what being screamed at about it. But I gotta say, but like it felt good and you just wanted to do it. David: 10:16 I guess yeah, it was just a crew. It&#39;s a boy thing. I like it. It was just a curiosity thing, I guess. Gavin: 10:21 I don&#39;t feeling good. I don&#39;t know even know what you mean by feeling good, but in the sense of like, I just, I don&#39;t know, there was a little part of me that what wanted to be naughty? David: 10:31 A very little part of you, like a three to four inch part of you. Three to four inches from the ground. So yeah, my son peace in the garage and my daughter&#39;s gonna be dead when she grows up. Gavin: 10:44 So that does remind me my son came home from a camp a couple of weeks ago and he said, Um, hey, you know what? I&#39;ve decided who I want to be when I grow up. Oh, what is that? Well, of course I want to be a soccer player, and then I want to be paid, I want to be a paid sleeper. I&#39;m like, what&#39;s that? He&#39;s he devised this. David: 11:05 Because we so sex work is work, but like, I don&#39;t think that&#39;s what he means. Gavin: 11:10 He wants to be paid to um try out mattresses. David: 11:12 Oh, that&#39;s a dream job. It&#39;s like being paid to be on like Master Chef and just taste all the dishes. Like that&#39;s a fucking dream job. Gavin: 11:19 Yeah, I thought it was really smart. So I hope that um I hope that there&#39;s a college out there that will prepare him for that and won&#39;t cost me too much money. David: 11:25 Um, what else is smart? What how can you make us smarter with a dad hack? Gavin: 11:29 Oh, I mean okay. Uh have you thought about this? Um probably not. Did you set up an email account for your in your kids&#39; names or social media accounts even? And I don&#39;t mean using them, but like lock down that serve them, yeah. Davidson at gmail.com kind of situation. David: 11:47 Well, I have not done their email addresses, but I have done their Instagrams because we we decided early on, because like I was kind of annoyed by people on Facebook who just constantly post pictures of their children. I&#39;m like, enough, nobody cares about your kids. Um and I was like, but also I realized people want the people who want pictures want pictures. So we created two private Instagrams of my kids that we post to every day. So the people who want to see that can just log on and see a ton of pictures, and then they don&#39;t have to see it. But I don&#39;t have their emails, but that&#39;s a good idea. I should get them. Gavin: 12:15 Lock those down. Yeah, I got my kids. Like I&#39;ve seen an of a um uh a meme that said something along the lines of, you know, hey, but uh Gen Zier says to me, What is your email address? And my email address is gaven.k.log, right? And they&#39;re like, Wait, you have your own name? And I&#39;m like, Yes. Yes, I was there. That&#39;s how old I am. I was there at the beginning of the city. David: 12:34 I was one of the five invitees that got from somebody else&#39;s invitation. Gavin: 12:38 But yeah, um, get those, get those for your kids now before they are sold to the highest bidder in Russia. That&#39;s a really great idea. You know what else is a really great idea? What? Well, not quite yet our top three list. David: 12:51 Yeah, you really you you really faked us all out. Everyone in the just like set up. And then you just created a couple car crashes. Gavin: 12:58 So um, first of all, there&#39;s no good news in uh there&#39;s no good gay news, period. Leaving at that. Uh, but I do have well, you know what? We&#39;re gonna we&#39;re gonna morph the dilf of the week with good gay news, okay? Okay, which is simply that our dilf of the week is Governor Andy Bashir of Kentucky. You&#39;ve seen him, right? David: 13:18 Yeah, I&#39;m pretty sure he was our Dilf of the Week another time. But it doesn&#39;t matter because he&#39;s gorgeous. Well, and we love him. Gavin: 13:26 Thank you. So thank you for clouding over my complete irresponsibility. Um, since our intern, we should name our intern. What is our intern&#39;s name? Our intern did not tell me, did not do my homework for me, and tell me that we&#39;ve already had Andy Bashir. Are you sure? Yeah, we probably have Andy Bashir. Anyway, listen, you think about our intern&#39;s name, and then we can blame. I will blame everything, all of my shortcomings on fill in the blank, okay? Anyway, new this just in. Governor Andy Bashir sued the Trump administration to get the 77 million dollars that the feds were withholding from the Kentucky educational funds. And he won. So he beat Trump, and that is not the only reason he&#39;s our doof of the week. Also because he&#39;s just really cute. And he&#39;s so...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos; son is becoming MAGA, Gavin forces his kids to learn a lesson on working hard, kids pee in weird places, Gavin has an actually helpful Dad hack, we rank our top 3 Dream guests for Gaytriarchs, and in honor, we don&apos;t have a guest. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 These are times that I do remind myself, you&#39;re like, I will do most of the work. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I really, you know, please. I can my insecurities please just say one time, I am doing the best I can. I really, really am. And I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:18 And this is Gateriarchs. So, my son, I think I told you from Memorial Day at his kindergarten, they had a Memorial Day concert, and he like had a line, and I was so fucking proud, and I was that douchey dad in the front row cheering or whatever. Right. Well, ever since, my son has been very interested and fascinated with patriotism. He wants to know who&#39;s in the army, who is fighting for our country. Really? What like what American flag can we have American flags? Who we are American? Like, he&#39;s so into patriotism. That&#39;s fascinating. Okay. It&#39;s starting to worry me. Uh-huh. Because as we know, patriotism, like real, like earnest patriotism in 2025 usually means MAGA. Gavin: 1:21 It is. Well, I even though this is your topic. I have so many things to say about it. You usually do. I mean, first of all, this does remind me immediately of a couple of years ago not wanting to put up an American flag. Or rather, you know, feeling self-conscious about putting up an American flag. And my partner was like, Don&#39;t you dare let them take that away from us. We are patriots. We&#39;re proud to be here. Just put up a pride flag next to it. And so that your votes are signaled like that. But it is terrible. It isn&#39;t, isn&#39;t it sad that I&#39;m proud to be an American where at least I&#39;m can sing off key. And um, yeah, anyway. Okay. David: 2:03 We talked about this during Pride because I remember we felt the same way where you&#39;re like, yeah, I want to fly an American flag, but I don&#39;t want people to think I&#39;m an idiot asshole, which is what that normally means now. Gavin: 2:12 Yeah, DC nationalism is not the same as patriotism. David: 2:15 Totally. But it is funny from an almost six-year-old to come and just be him be like, let&#39;s fire an American flag. Like who let like talk about the army or whatever. And I&#39;m like, bro, slow down on the patriotism thing. Um, but it&#39;s also being coupled with we are an atheist family. We have talked about God. Loud and proud. Yes, we we have we have talked about God. He he understands that we, as his parents, don&#39;t believe in God, but some people do, and that&#39;s what religion is. Like, we we try to be like very kind of like broad with him because he had a friend that was really religious and he was starting to say religious things, and we were like, no, no, no, no, no. God did not make that. Paul down the street made that. You like, like, whatever. Anyway, but now he wants to start reading the Bible. He&#39;s like, I want to read the Bible. I said, Why? He goes, Well, because Jenny in my class does, and that&#39;s the only reason, right? I&#39;m not putting anything more on this, but as an adult who knows what that stuff means, I&#39;m like terrified that my beautiful little almost six-year-old is gonna become a MAGA cult leader soon. Gavin: 3:22 They&#39;re gonna say he&#39;s the second coming. What if it, but like what if he&#39;s like their messiah? And then you&#39;re like rich and famous. David: 3:29 Yeah, it&#39;s only I&#39;m only okay with that as long as it&#39;s like some sort of scheme. Do you know what I mean? Like it&#39;s some sort of like gemstones, exactly. Gavin: 3:38 Which is exactly what is happening in reality anyway. So you know, funny enough, my partner and I ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos; son is becoming MAGA, Gavin forces his kids to learn a lesson on working hard, kids pee in weird places, Gavin has an actually helpful Dad hack, we rank our top 3 Dream guests for Gaytriarchs, and in honor, we don&apos;t have a guest. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 These are times that I do remind myself, you&#39;re like, I will do most of the work. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I really, you know, please. I can my insecurities please just say one time, I am doing the best I can. I really, really am. And I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:18 And this is Gateriarchs. So, my son, I think I told you from Memorial Day at his kindergarten, they had a Memorial Day concert, and he like had a line, and I was so fucking proud, and I was that douchey dad in the front row cheering or whatever. Right. Well, ever since, my son has been very interested and fascinated]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Relax, it&#8217;s just us</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/relax-its-just-us/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is moving on up, we get a sweet listener email, Gavin complains about stuff, summer camp is hard, we rank our top 3 mornings, and we close out the show the way we always do, Gavin doing a terrible impression. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is the Aperol Spritz of Gate Gatriarch&#39;s episodes. Not full-fledged, you know, high alcohol content, just a little bit of sprinkle. David: 0:08 This is the fucking your brother episode, right? From White Lotus? Oh. Did you watch White Lotus season three? Gavin: 0:16 Yes, but what do you mean? David: 0:18 Don&#39;t the brothers fuck each other? Gavin: 0:20 Theoretically, but uh what? David: 0:23 Because White Lotus is like a summer like vacation. That&#39;s no, okay. Gavin: 0:29 All right. That was a stretch. And this is Gadriarch&#39;s. Life fucking saving needs they they are they are integral to our survival. And frankly, at some point, especially in April, when you&#39;re frantically trying to schedule it, you don&#39;t care about price. David: 1:06 And then that credit card bill comes in and then yeah, things change. But you know, for those of you who haven&#39;t had to do it yet, a lot of summer camps are competitive. Like you have to sign up so early. And like us, we&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t know, we&#39;ll wait till the last second. So we signed up for this one summer camp that was basically the whole summer. It&#39;s week to week, and you can choose whichever weeks. Yeah, right, right, right. And we were just like, you know, that&#39;s a long time to be in the same camp. Why don&#39;t we diversify a little bit and we&#39;ll do like one week of camp at this place just to break it up. Well, I&#39;m here from the future to tell you that if you&#39;re gonna do that, make sure you read the fine print. Because the camp he&#39;s at now is at the same building my daughter&#39;s at for daycare, and the drop-off times are the same, and the pickup times are the same, which is a good thing. Which all sounds very convenient. Very convenient. Well, what I had totally forgotten about is that the camp hours of this place are like school hours, it&#39;s like nine to three. Two or not seven to six, which is the other one. So on day one of camp, I&#39;m in my husband&#39;s office and we&#39;re talking about contractors and all this bullshit. Oh phone rings. Do tell us why. The phone rings, and my husband sees me the phone. It&#39;s my hus my my son&#39;s camp, and he&#39;s and what is our first thought? Our first thought is he&#39;s sick. God damn it. He&#39;s coughing and he&#39;s gonna be sent home, and he&#39;s not gonna be able to come back. Gavin: 2:36 He said his tummy hurts, and one of those counselors believed him, and they&#39;re like, Okay, do you need to go home? David: 2:43 And so he answers the phone and he his eyes widen and he looks at me and he goes, Oh, we forgot to pick up Emmett. It&#39;s 4 15. You&#39;re 75 minutes late. We had totally forgotten that this camp ends at three. And my husband goes, Oh no, I think he&#39;s stuck in traffic. I&#39;ll call him right now. And I poug out the door, and I feel like a horrible dad because I get there and there are classes now happening. The place is packed, and he is coloring next to the front desk receptionist. Like he&#39;s in trouble. Like he&#39;s in trouble. He&#39;s been sent to the principal&#39;s office. And I feel like a total piece of shit. But so I&#39;m here to tell you that if you are gonna be really clever and diversify your camp&#39;s kid, uh your kids&#39; camp experience, A, check the hours, and B, just go with a camp that has full hours. Gavin: 3:36 You know, there are several camps around us that are half day camps. What level of bullshit who has a half job? Do you have a half-day job? Exactly. And uh just showing up half day, and which basically means you might as well just sit in the car for three hours because that&#39;s what it comes down to. And we actually signed up for one of those, not knowing it was a half day. We realized it a few days later, so we weren&#39;t three hours late to pick up our kid. But it um you might as well just like go get an expensive coffee, light$500 on fire, and sit there and watch and think, why did I do this? And just be insanely bitter in your air-conditioned car, which is what I ended up doing for that camp. I mean, admittedly, it was a sailing camp, and so the level of pretension of a sailing camp, and you you don&#39;t deserve to complain if it&#39;s saline camp anyway. 100%. But let me tell you, let me tell you the ways I&#39;m a worse parent than you are. Are you ready? David: 4:28 These are my favorite stories. Go ahead. Gavin: 4:30 A couple of years ago, um, I forced my children to go to a sleepaway camp in New Hampshire. There wasn&#39;t anything special about it except that I grew up, okay, grew up in Colorado. You don&#39;t go to camp in Colorado. Uh, you just play outside, right? And especially I was in the 80s and my mom didn&#39;t work, and so you know, there&#39;s there&#39;s a level of privilege there that you just get to hang outside, whatnot. So anyway, but I had always heard friends from college bragging about this camp that they went to in New Hampshire. So I wanted to realize that dream for my kids and say, oh, there&#39;s this magical place called basically a YMCA camp up in New Hampshire. So my kids went arguably kicking and screaming, but they went the same week and they were on opposite sides of the camp with the girls and the boys. And we, there was a lot of logistics involved, different drop-off times, different pickup times, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We didn&#39;t read carefully enough. And we showed up seven hours late to pick up my son. And my son is the one who just won&#39;t make us stink about things. David: 5:27 He&#39;s kind of like, he&#39;s not got that quiet, apologetic that makes you feel all the worse. Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 5:35 And when we um we had already picked up my daughter, and then we swung around because I thought that was the order we were supposed to do it in, and we were already like cutting in kind of late because big surprise, because me. And um, there was my son all alone, sitting at a picnic table with some older kids of the um the counselors, and they all kind of looked at us like, hmm, where have you been? And I checked my phone, and we had had four calls from the camp, but it we were driving in rural New Hampshire, so we didn&#39;t even realize it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had stopped for lunch. I might have had a beer and a half before we got there as we were celebrating. And he comes walking across this field, which then turned and he was smiling, but in a kind of like weird, disappointed way. And his smile morphed into crying, and his walk turned into running. And admittedly, when he leapt into my arms, mine, luckily, I was like, Oh, he&#39;s just so happy to see me. And I realized we had left him on the side of the road, admittedly, a bougie dirt road summer camp in New Hampshire, for an extra few hours. And I was a terrible parent that day. David: 6:43 I gotta say, Gavin, you are, and that feels really good. That actually made me feel much better about my 75 minutes at gymnastics camp. Um, but yeah, for those of you parents out there who are dealing with camp, Godspeed, God bless, and let&#39;s all do better next year, which we won&#39;t. Um, one of the better things about this episode, other than um there&#39;s no guests, it&#39;s just us, is we got a listener email that just lit up my heart. We get emails from you guys and DMs, and we love anytime you reach out to us for anything, even if it&#39;s like we love it. David sucks. We like, we love everything. We&#39;re okay. We&#39;re okay. Okay, we got a really great one that just wore my heart. So I&#39;m just gonna read it out to you. He said, Hey, gents, well, the beautiful baby came in April. Oh, wait, let me give you some pretext. Uh listener Ben. We never check our DMs and this came in April. No, no, no. Listener Ben uh sent us a very sweet uh message saying he loved the show and he&#39;s work, you know, they&#39;re they&#39;re planning on having a baby and blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, and and we we responded, we did, and we said, please give us an update. So this is the response. Hey, gents, well, the beautiful baby came in April. Shout out to our incredible surrogate in Minnesota. And now we&#39;re transitioning back to full-time work in the Bay Area. Your sweet, irreverent, inspiring, thoughtful podcast has been a companion on my back-to-work days, and it&#39;s been such a treat to feel that little bit less alone in the newness of parenting. Parenting so far has been the greatest joy of my life with Big Banks, Ben. So, listener, our listener Ben has written out a very sweet email to us, and we very much appreciate it. Gavin: 8:17 So, thank you for going that extra mile and sharing it with us. We can&#39;t wait to hear. Please write back when parenting so far has been the greatest trauma of your life as well. David: 8:27 We&#39;ll see you in three months, babe. Um, but very sweet. I we love getting your uh messages and emails. Please keep doing it, guys. Keep sending us your top three list ideas, your something great ideas, your guest ideas, anything you want to do. Um, we love hearing from you. Um, as Gavin would say, we&#39;re building a community. Um, and I would say something about a dick. Gavin: 8:47 We we are trying to build that community, and we do a terrible job of maintaining it. So, but maybe it&#39;s be maybe it&#39;s listener fault. Listener needs to reach out to us some more and let us know that we&#39;re loved, and then we&#39;ll make more dick jokes. It&#39;s your fault. It&#39;s your fault. David: 9:00 If you&#39;re listening to the sound of my voice, it&#39;s your fault. Your fault. Um uh and I hope that gets us more listeners. Um, so something else that is my fault is we are moving. Gavin: 9:13 So you you made your bed, you moved away from that bed, but now you still have to lie in that bed. David: 9:19 So now I&#39;ve got a rented bed and I&#39;ve got to buy a new bed, and I&#39;ve got all kinds of beds. So we are moving. And the reason I bring it up is uh not for you guys to follow me, but please do come to my house anytime you want. Um, but I was just thinking, like, I when we were we&#39;ve been looking for a new house for a while, and we&#39;ve made many offers and they&#39;ve fallen through or they&#39;ve been taken away from us. It&#39;s been a hell of two years, but we finally got a house, we&#39;re really excited. But in my head, I was like, oh, great, we get to live in a new house. I didn&#39;t even consider fucking changing schools, you daycare. Gavin: 9:49 People don&#39;t realize you are a serial gambler, a mediocre podcaster, but you are a director, a writer, a failed actor, and you are in real estate. So for you to come on here, hey, listener, David actually has his real estate license. And but for you to come on and say, I totally forgot that I was supposed to consider, David, this is literally, this is your job. David: 10:17 It&#39;s you know, the shoemaker&#39;s children that go barefoot, Gavin. That&#39;s all I can tell you. But so the reason to bring it up is because it&#39;s been really interesting as a parent. So what of the so my daughter is in pre-K right now, she&#39;s in pre-K three, she&#39;s three. Um, and we love our daycare. It&#39;s where our it has a pre-K program as well. So our kids have gone through literally infancy in every classroom, all the way up to pre-K. And now we gotta find a new one because my son is gonna go to regular school, but my daughter needs to be in a pre-K. So literally yesterday, we went to our new town and we had four interviews with four new preschools. Oh my gosh. And it was just like, oh yeah, this is what you have to do when you&#39;re looking for a preschool for your kid. And I was like, I guarantee you, some of our listeners have done this recently or are about to do this. So I wanted to talk a little bit about it because it fucking sucks and is stupid. So let&#39;s talk about the obvious thing. Cost. I forget how fucking expensive preschool is. Yeah. You&#39;re talking about like, here&#39;s your colors, here&#39;s your shapes, give us$2,000. Gavin: 11:25 Right. And counter 1, 2, 3, and ABC. But I mean, your daycare was not that terribly expensive, or it&#39;s you&#39;re moving into a bougier neighborhood now, or what? David: 11:34 Well, again, we we only had a couple options here, and almost every daycare was almost the exact same. So for transparency, our daycare in pre-K is about$1,500 a month for full-time 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. You that&#39;s pretty good. Whatever. Gavin: 11:48 That&#39;s pretty good cover. David: 11:49 That&#39;s a good you&#39;re getting a lot for your fifth bang for your buck there. We really are. We&#39;re really lucky. It&#39;s attached to this huge YMCA and they get to go swimming every week and they have a big, like it&#39;s like it&#39;s a lot of fun. Well, now that I&#39;ve interviewed with these four other ones, I&#39;m seeing the range of shit out there. We saw some like low-rent, like cinder block basement, like the daycare teachers smoking in the other side of the room places. And then we saw that is a real edge, that&#39;s a real education right there, though. It was a huge education because what I realized, I think, is that I trust, and maybe I shouldn&#39;t, but I trust that the content of these daycares, what they teach, how they teach, is probably similar. They probably all do circle time and outdoor time and snack time, and they probably will all work on their colors and the reverse. So I I assume, good or bad, that they&#39;re all doing the same thing. But what I learned was obviously besides the money, what was really important to me was like, does it feel good to be in this space? Like, does it because the one of the first place we went to, the guy was nice, the tour was nice, the teachers were nice, the kids seemed happy, but it was literally a cender block basement with like windows that were covered, and it just didn&#39;t feel very happy. Yeah. And I plus the cigarettes in the corner. I mean cigarettes in the corner, right? But like, and they&#39;re like, is that a fox over there? Like a real fox? They&#39;re like, Yeah, he gets in here sometimes. But I I could I just kept thinking, like, I don&#39;t want my kid in this building. Like, and I and I was like, is that bougie of me? But there was something about like, it feels good to be in this space. And of course, that was the cheapest place. Gavin: 13:27 Yeah, well, you gotta listen to those gut feelings though, too. And once you write the check, once you find a way to write that check, you go, you know, sell your soul more in whatever ways you need to, you don&#39;t regret it. You gotta follow that gut. No, it&#39;s 100%. Keep going. David: 13:40 Yeah, no, you&#39;re right, you&#39;re right. And that was the cheapest one. So, again, for transparency, because I think it&#39;s I live in northern New Jersey, just outside of New York City. It was about$900 a week. Again, full-time daycare. Um, and then we went to the second place, and the second place was much better in like the facility, although still kind of like like abandoned school that they painted cute walls to make it look like a like it was didn&#39;t have a playground, but it yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Um, but like every again, all the teachers are super nice or whatever. I&#39;m gonna skip the cost of that one because it comes to play later. Then we went to the third one, which was like high-end YMCA, um, was it which was about$1,600 to$1,700 a month, but it was in an office park. And so it felt like gray cubicle vibes. Gavin: 14:27 It was giving you corporate vibes. It gave you like came from accounting. David: 14:32 And I was like, I don&#39;t, it didn&#39;t feel bad. It just felt like this has a daycare. Um,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is moving on up, we get a sweet listener email, Gavin complains about stuff, summer camp is hard, we rank our top 3 mornings, and we close out the show the way we always do, Gavin doing a terrible impression. Questions? Comments? Rants? ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is moving on up, we get a sweet listener email, Gavin complains about stuff, summer camp is hard, we rank our top 3 mornings, and we close out the show the way we always do, Gavin doing a terrible impression. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is the Aperol Spritz of Gate Gatriarch&#39;s episodes. Not full-fledged, you know, high alcohol content, just a little bit of sprinkle. David: 0:08 This is the fucking your brother episode, right? From White Lotus? Oh. Did you watch White Lotus season three? Gavin: 0:16 Yes, but what do you mean? David: 0:18 Don&#39;t the brothers fuck each other? Gavin: 0:20 Theoretically, but uh what? David: 0:23 Because White Lotus is like a summer like vacation. That&#39;s no, okay. Gavin: 0:29 All right. That was a stretch. And this is Gadriarch&#39;s. Life fucking saving needs they they are they are integral to our survival. And frankly, at some point, especially in April, when you&#39;re frantically trying to schedule it, you don&#39;t care about price. David: 1:06 And then that credit card bill comes in and then yeah, things change. But you know, for those of you who haven&#39;t had to do it yet, a lot of summer camps are competitive. Like you have to sign up so early. And like us, we&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t know, we&#39;ll wait till the last second. So we signed up for this one summer camp that was basically the whole summer. It&#39;s week to week, and you can choose whichever weeks. Yeah, right, right, right. And we were just like, you know, that&#39;s a long time to be in the same camp. Why don&#39;t we diversify a little bit and we&#39;ll do like one week of camp at this place just to break it up. Well, I&#39;m here from the future to tell you that if you&#39;re gonna do that, make sure you read the fine print. Because the camp he&#39;s at now is at the same building my daughter&#39;s at for daycare, and the drop-off times are the same, and the pickup times are the same, which is a good thing. Which all sounds very convenient. Very convenient. Well, what I had totally forgotten about is that the camp hours of this place are like school hours, it&#39;s like nine to three. Two or not seven to six, which is the other one. So on day one of camp, I&#39;m in my husband&#39;s office and we&#39;re talking about contractors and all this bullshit. Oh phone rings. Do tell us why. The phone rings, and my husband sees me the phone. It&#39;s my hus my my son&#39;s camp, and he&#39;s and what is our first thought? Our first thought is he&#39;s sick. God damn it. He&#39;s coughing and he&#39;s gonna be sent home, and he&#39;s not gonna be able to come back. Gavin: 2:36 He said his tummy hurts, and one of those counselors believed him, and they&#39;re like, Okay, do you need to go home? David: 2:43 And so he answers the phone and he his eyes widen and he looks at me and he goes, Oh, we forgot to pick up Emmett. It&#39;s 4 15. You&#39;re 75 minutes late. We had totally forgotten that this camp ends at three. And my husband goes, Oh no, I think he&#39;s stuck in traffic. I&#39;ll call him right now. And I poug out the door, and I feel like a horrible dad because I get there and there are classes now happening. The place is packed, and he is coloring next to the front desk receptionist. Like he&#39;s in trouble. Like he&#39;s in trouble. He&#39;s been sent to the principal&#39;s office. And I feel like a total piece of shit. But so I&#39;m here to tell you that if you are gonna be really clever and diversify your camp&#39;s kid, uh your kids&#39; camp experience, A, check the hours, and B, just go with a camp that has full hours. Gavin: 3:36 You know, there are several camps around us that are half day camps. What level of bullshit who has a half job? Do you have a half-day job? Exactly. And uh just showing up half day, and which basically means you might as well just sit in the car for three hours because that&#39;s what it comes down to. And we actually signed up for one of those, not knowing it was a half day. We realized it a few days later, so we weren&#39;t three hours late to pick up our kid. But it um you might as well just like go get an expensive coffee, light$500 on fire, and sit there and watch and think, why did I do this? And just be insanely bitter in your air-conditioned car, which is what I ended up doing for that camp. I mean, admittedly, it was a sailing camp, and so the level of pretension of a sailing camp, and you you don&#39;t deserve to complain if it&#39;s saline camp anyway. 100%. But let me tell you, let me tell you the ways I&#39;m a worse parent than you are. Are you ready? David: 4:28 These are my favorite stories. Go ahead. Gavin: 4:30 A couple of years ago, um, I forced my children to go to a sleepaway camp in New Hampshire. There wasn&#39;t anything special about it except that I grew up, okay, grew up in Colorado. You don&#39;t go to camp in Colorado. Uh, you just play outside, right? And especially I was in the 80s and my mom didn&#39;t work, and so you know, there&#39;s there&#39;s a level of privilege there that you just get to hang outside, whatnot. So anyway, but I had always heard friends from college bragging about this camp that they went to in New Hampshire. So I wanted to realize that dream for my kids and say, oh, there&#39;s this magical place called basically a YMCA camp up in New Hampshire. So my kids went arguably kicking and screaming, but they went the same week and they were on opposite sides of the camp with the girls and the boys. And we, there was a lot of logistics involved, different drop-off times, different pickup times, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We didn&#39;t read carefully enough. And we showed up seven hours late to pick up my son. And my son is the one who just won&#39;t make us stink about things. David: 5:27 He&#39;s kind of like, he&#39;s not got that quiet, apologetic that makes you feel all the worse. Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 5:35 And when we um we had already picked up my daughter, and then we swung around because I thought that was the order we were supposed to do it in, and we were already like cutting in kind of late because big surprise, because me. And um, there was my son all alone, sitting at a picnic table with some older kids of the um the counselors, and they all kind of looked at us like, hmm, where have you been? And I checked my phone, and we had had four calls from the camp, but it we were driving in rural New Hampshire, so we didn&#39;t even realize it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had stopped for lunch. I might have had a beer and a half before we got there as we were celebrating. And he comes walking across this field, which then turned and he was smiling, but in a kind of like weird, disappointed way. And his smile morphed into crying, and his walk turned into running. And admittedly, when he leapt into my arms, mine, luckily, I was like, Oh, he&#39;s just so happy to see me. And I realized we had left him on the side of the road, admittedly, a bougie dirt road summer camp in New Hampshire, for an extra few hours. And I was a terrible parent that day. David: 6:43 I gotta say, Gavin, you are, and that feels really good. That actually made me feel much better about my 75 minutes at gymnastics camp. Um, but yeah, for those of you parents out there who are dealing with camp, Godspeed, God bless, and let&#39;s all do better next year, which we won&#39;t. Um, one of the better things about this episode, other than um there&#39;s no guests, it&#39;s just us, is we got a listener email that just lit up my heart. We get emails from you guys and DMs, and we love anytime you reach out to us for anything, even if it&#39;s like we love it. David sucks. We like, we love everything. We&#39;re okay. We&#39;re okay. Okay, we got a really great one that just wore my heart. So I&#39;m just gonna read it out to you. He said, Hey, gents, well, the beautiful baby came in April. Oh, wait, let me give you some pretext. Uh listener Ben. We never check our DMs and this came in April. No, no, no. Listener Ben uh sent us a very sweet uh message saying he loved the show and he&#39;s work, you know, they&#39;re they&#39;re planning on having a baby and blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, and and we we responded, we did, and we said, please give us an update. So this is the response. Hey, gents, well, the beautiful baby came in April. Shout out to our incredible surrogate in Minnesota. And now we&#39;re transitioning back to full-time work in the Bay Area. Your sweet, irreverent, inspiring, thoughtful podcast has been a companion on my back-to-work days, and it&#39;s been such a treat to feel that little bit less alone in the newness of parenting. Parenting so far has been the greatest joy of my life with Big Banks, Ben. So, listener, our listener Ben has written out a very sweet email to us, and we very much appreciate it. Gavin: 8:17 So, thank you for going that extra mile and sharing it with us. We can&#39;t wait to hear. Please write back when parenting so far has been the greatest trauma of your life as well. David: 8:27 We&#39;ll see you in three months, babe. Um, but very sweet. I we love getting your uh messages and emails. Please keep doing it, guys. Keep sending us your top three list ideas, your something great ideas, your guest ideas, anything you want to do. Um, we love hearing from you. Um, as Gavin would say, we&#39;re building a community. Um, and I would say something about a dick. Gavin: 8:47 We we are trying to build that community, and we do a terrible job of maintaining it. So, but maybe it&#39;s be maybe it&#39;s listener fault. Listener needs to reach out to us some more and let us know that we&#39;re loved, and then we&#39;ll make more dick jokes. It&#39;s your fault. It&#39;s your fault. David: 9:00 If you&#39;re listening to the sound of my voice, it&#39;s your fault. Your fault. Um uh and I hope that gets us more listeners. Um, so something else that is my fault is we are moving. Gavin: 9:13 So you you made your bed, you moved away from that bed, but now you still have to lie in that bed. David: 9:19 So now I&#39;ve got a rented bed and I&#39;ve got to buy a new bed, and I&#39;ve got all kinds of beds. So we are moving. And the reason I bring it up is uh not for you guys to follow me, but please do come to my house anytime you want. Um, but I was just thinking, like, I when we were we&#39;ve been looking for a new house for a while, and we&#39;ve made many offers and they&#39;ve fallen through or they&#39;ve been taken away from us. It&#39;s been a hell of two years, but we finally got a house, we&#39;re really excited. But in my head, I was like, oh, great, we get to live in a new house. I didn&#39;t even consider fucking changing schools, you daycare. Gavin: 9:49 People don&#39;t realize you are a serial gambler, a mediocre podcaster, but you are a director, a writer, a failed actor, and you are in real estate. So for you to come on here, hey, listener, David actually has his real estate license. And but for you to come on and say, I totally forgot that I was supposed to consider, David, this is literally, this is your job. David: 10:17 It&#39;s you know, the shoemaker&#39;s children that go barefoot, Gavin. That&#39;s all I can tell you. But so the reason to bring it up is because it&#39;s been really interesting as a parent. So what of the so my daughter is in pre-K right now, she&#39;s in pre-K three, she&#39;s three. Um, and we love our daycare. It&#39;s where our it has a pre-K program as well. So our kids have gone through literally infancy in every classroom, all the way up to pre-K. And now we gotta find a new one because my son is gonna go to regular school, but my daughter needs to be in a pre-K. So literally yesterday, we went to our new town and we had four interviews with four new preschools. Oh my gosh. And it was just like, oh yeah, this is what you have to do when you&#39;re looking for a preschool for your kid. And I was like, I guarantee you, some of our listeners have done this recently or are about to do this. So I wanted to talk a little bit about it because it fucking sucks and is stupid. So let&#39;s talk about the obvious thing. Cost. I forget how fucking expensive preschool is. Yeah. You&#39;re talking about like, here&#39;s your colors, here&#39;s your shapes, give us$2,000. Gavin: 11:25 Right. And counter 1, 2, 3, and ABC. But I mean, your daycare was not that terribly expensive, or it&#39;s you&#39;re moving into a bougier neighborhood now, or what? David: 11:34 Well, again, we we only had a couple options here, and almost every daycare was almost the exact same. So for transparency, our daycare in pre-K is about$1,500 a month for full-time 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. You that&#39;s pretty good. Whatever. Gavin: 11:48 That&#39;s pretty good cover. David: 11:49 That&#39;s a good you&#39;re getting a lot for your fifth bang for your buck there. We really are. We&#39;re really lucky. It&#39;s attached to this huge YMCA and they get to go swimming every week and they have a big, like it&#39;s like it&#39;s a lot of fun. Well, now that I&#39;ve interviewed with these four other ones, I&#39;m seeing the range of shit out there. We saw some like low-rent, like cinder block basement, like the daycare teachers smoking in the other side of the room places. And then we saw that is a real edge, that&#39;s a real education right there, though. It was a huge education because what I realized, I think, is that I trust, and maybe I shouldn&#39;t, but I trust that the content of these daycares, what they teach, how they teach, is probably similar. They probably all do circle time and outdoor time and snack time, and they probably will all work on their colors and the reverse. So I I assume, good or bad, that they&#39;re all doing the same thing. But what I learned was obviously besides the money, what was really important to me was like, does it feel good to be in this space? Like, does it because the one of the first place we went to, the guy was nice, the tour was nice, the teachers were nice, the kids seemed happy, but it was literally a cender block basement with like windows that were covered, and it just didn&#39;t feel very happy. Yeah. And I plus the cigarettes in the corner. I mean cigarettes in the corner, right? But like, and they&#39;re like, is that a fox over there? Like a real fox? They&#39;re like, Yeah, he gets in here sometimes. But I I could I just kept thinking, like, I don&#39;t want my kid in this building. Like, and I and I was like, is that bougie of me? But there was something about like, it feels good to be in this space. And of course, that was the cheapest place. Gavin: 13:27 Yeah, well, you gotta listen to those gut feelings though, too. And once you write the check, once you find a way to write that check, you go, you know, sell your soul more in whatever ways you need to, you don&#39;t regret it. You gotta follow that gut. No, it&#39;s 100%. Keep going. David: 13:40 Yeah, no, you&#39;re right, you&#39;re right. And that was the cheapest one. So, again, for transparency, because I think it&#39;s I live in northern New Jersey, just outside of New York City. It was about$900 a week. Again, full-time daycare. Um, and then we went to the second place, and the second place was much better in like the facility, although still kind of like like abandoned school that they painted cute walls to make it look like a like it was didn&#39;t have a playground, but it yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Um, but like every again, all the teachers are super nice or whatever. I&#39;m gonna skip the cost of that one because it comes to play later. Then we went to the third one, which was like high-end YMCA, um, was it which was about$1,600 to$1,700 a month, but it was in an office park. And so it felt like gray cubicle vibes. Gavin: 14:27 It was giving you corporate vibes. It gave you like came from accounting. David: 14:32 And I was like, I don&#39;t, it didn&#39;t feel bad. It just felt like this has a daycare. Um,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is moving on up, we get a sweet listener email, Gavin complains about stuff, summer camp is hard, we rank our top 3 mornings, and we close out the show the way we always do, Gavin doing a terrible impression. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is the Aperol Spritz of Gate Gatriarch&#39;s episodes. Not full-fledged, you know, high alcohol content, just a little bit of sprinkle. David: 0:08 This is the fucking your brother episode, right? From White Lotus? Oh. Did you watch White Lotus season three? Gavin: 0:16 Yes, but what do you mean? David: 0:18 Don&#39;t the brothers fuck each other? Gavin: 0:20 Theoretically, but uh what? David: 0:23 Because White Lotus is like a summer like vacation. That&#39;s no, okay. Gavin: 0:29 All right. That was a stretch. And this is Gadriarch&#39;s. Life fucking saving needs they they are they are integral to our survival. And frankly, at some point, especially in April, when you&#39;re frantically trying to schedule it, you don&#39;t care about price. David: 1:06 And then that credit card bill comes in and then yeah, things change. But you know, for those of you who haven&#39;t had to do it yet, a lot of summer camps are competitive. Like you have to sign up so early. And like us, we&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t know, we&#39;ll wait till the last second. So we signed up for this one summer camp that was basically the whole summer. It&#39;s week to week, and you can choose whichever weeks. Yeah, right, right, right. And we were just like, you know, that&#39;s a long time to be in the same camp. Why don&#39;t we diversify a little bit and we&#39;ll do like one week of camp at this place just to break it up. Well, I&#39;m here from the future to tell you that if you&#39;re gonna do that, make sure you read the fine print. Because the camp he&#39;s at now is at the same building my daughter&#39;s at for daycare, and the drop-off times are the same, and the pickup times are the same, which is a good thing. Which all sounds very convenient. Very convenient. Well, what I had totally forgotten about is that the camp hours of this place are like school hours, it&#39;s like nine to three. Two or not seven to six, which is the other one. So on day one of camp, I&#39;m in my husband&#39;s office and we&#39;re talking about contractors and all this bullshit. Oh phone rings. Do tell us why. The phone rings, and my husband sees me the phone. It&#39;s my hus my my son&#39;s camp, and he&#39;s and what is our first thought? Our first thought is he&#39;s sick. God damn it. He&#39;s coughing and he&#39;s gonna be sent home, and he&#39;s not gonna be able to come back. Gavin: 2:36 He said his tummy hurts, and one of those counselors believed him, and they&#39;re like, Okay, do you need to go home? David: 2:43 And so he answers the phone and he his eyes widen and he looks at me and he goes, Oh, we forgot to pick up Emmett. It&#39;s 4 15. You&#39;re 75 minutes late. We had totally forgotten that this camp ends at three. And my husband goes, Oh no, I think he&#39;s stuck in traffic. I&#39;ll call him right now. And I poug out the door, and I feel like a horrible dad because I get there and there are classes now happening. The place is packed, and he is coloring next to the front desk receptionist. Like he&#39;s in trouble. Like he&#39;s in trouble. He&#39;s been sent to the principal&#39;s office. And I feel like a total piece of shit. But so I&#39;m here to tell you that if you are gonna be really clever and diversify your camp&#39;s kid, uh your kids&#39; camp experience, A, check the hours, and B, just go with a camp that has full hours. Gavin: 3:36 You know, there are several camps around us that are half day camps. What level of bullshit who has a half job? Do you have a half-day job? Exactly. And uh just showing up half day, and which basically means you might as well ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is moving on up, we get a sweet listener email, Gavin complains about stuff, summer camp is hard, we rank our top 3 mornings, and we close out the show the way we always do, Gavin doing a terrible impression. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is the Aperol Spritz of Gate Gatriarch&#39;s episodes. Not full-fledged, you know, high alcohol content, just a little bit of sprinkle. David: 0:08 This is the fucking your brother episode, right? From White Lotus? Oh. Did you watch White Lotus season three? Gavin: 0:16 Yes, but what do you mean? David: 0:18 Don&#39;t the brothers fuck each other? Gavin: 0:20 Theoretically, but uh what? David: 0:23 Because White Lotus is like a summer like vacation. That&#39;s no, okay. Gavin: 0:29 All right. That was a stretch. And this is Gadriarch&#39;s. Life fucking saving needs they they are they are integral to our]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Tamar Avishai</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tamar-avishai/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 23 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David goes on &#34;vacation,&#34; Gavin is the asshole (again), the Pope continues to bless gay marriages, we rank the top 3 road trip albums, and this week, we are joined by podcasting royalty Tamar Avishai who talks to us about her podcast, &#34;The Lonely Palette,&#34; wether she fosters art for her kids, and what it&apos;s like to have a newborn for the third time. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, ex art historian. Ex art that I that&#39;s what I w We&#39;re all about the X&#39;s here. Okay. All right, shall we? David: 0:08 Our next podcast. Wow. See, listen, he&#39;s already screwing up. This is this is what I deal with daily. SPEAKER_03: 0:16 This is Gatriarchs. I&#39;m Tamar Vish. Gavin: 0:32 This is so hard. It is so, so, so hard. It is so hard. So hard. David: 0:37 Um, Gabin, you&#39;re not talking about my dick, I know. We&#39;re talking about parenting, and we&#39;re just gonna jump right into it because Gabin and I were having our little conversation before we started recording pre-recording huddle. I was just debriefing on the terrible bedtime that we just had where I literally slammed the door on a screaming three-year-old and came downstairs and jumped on a Zoom call to record this episode for you, lovely listener. So I hope you&#39;re very happy. But I was Gavin was like, How are you? And I was like, Oh God. Gavin: 1:10 It happens. This is one of the times that I&#39;m not saying to you, just you wait. It gets worse because it will get better. I remember when my kids were that age. I mean, when they were like three, four, two, three, four, five, because they&#39;re 19 months apart. And I would call friends and just commiserate. We would, I mean, I remember times sitting on the kitchen floor. I don&#39;t even know why I was there. It wasn&#39;t like I was a puddle, but I remember so vividly talking to my friend Callie. Um, heads up, Cali, or rather, shout out Callie. I don&#39;t you definitely don&#39;t listen to this, and um saying, like, this is so much harder than anybody prepares you for. And it is so emotionally draining, and you feel like a monster because you have lost your patience. And it&#39;s just, even if your patience is just walking out of the doors or walking out of the room sometimes, you feel like a monster, you feel terrible, everybody feels terrible, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it is the hardest job on the entire goddamn planet. David: 2:08 Yeah, I was saying that to Gavin before we started recording, which was like she was being difficult. She demanded some ice in her bed water, which I was like, fuck off. This is not the Ritz Carleton. And it&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn Express. It&#39;s not even that like hooker motel off the interstate that charges by the hour. But I I just decided to say no. I was like, no. And then she started screaming, and I said, No, you have to hear no sometimes. And then she&#39;d like like like like she was being possessed by a demon, shaking, kicking, whatever. And I just said, nine, and I closed the door, and um, that that was it. And then I was saying to Gabian high-fived your husband to say this is now your problem. Your your problem. But also, I was just like consumed with guilt that I didn&#39;t try just do the ice thing for my my daughter. Gavin: 2:58 Because now that you&#39;re sitting down here recording, you&#39;re like, what is the big fucking deal? I should have just gotten her ice, but at the same time, it is a big deal. And she does need to know that there are limits and that you have your limits. And bedtime is not the time to ask for more ice. And I I it&#39;s this is so universal, and I want the whole world out there and listener to know that David is doing a great job. David: 3:19 Thank you. You&#39;re very sweet to say that. And it is also just a window for the for you listener out there, if you are dealing with any sort of this, and maybe it&#39;s from your teenager, maybe it&#39;s from your three-year-old, maybe it&#39;s from your infant or whatever. Start a podcast and complain about it. Exactly. Even your the the heroes of your life, the the hosts of Gatriarch, we also have problems. Celebrities have problems too, is basically what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 3:46 We have this we have this podcast to be able to complain about our kids, but often sometimes I don&#39;t think we complain enough because it is just oh man, those years that you are going through right now are just soul sucking. And coupled with boring, and coupled with utter frustration and entitlement. And I just want them to get rich and buy me a boat. When does that what age is that? Soon. Probably next week. Maybe next week. Just you wait, David. Just you wait. You will have a boat from your children anytime soon so that you can go on it to the outer banks of North Carolina or something like that, and just like be that guy. David: 4:22 What a delicious transition, Gabe. And I saw you do it and I I accept it. So, North Carolina, why you bring that up? That&#39;s so funny. So, we just went on a family trip to North Carolina this weekend, and I was kind of terrified because the flight&#39;s short, but you know, uh as we had with bedtime, it can go wrong. We&#39;re staying in an Airbnb, we&#39;re going to the beach, there can be all that kind of stuff. Um, I gotta say, other than like one bad moment with the daughter, it was delightful. Family. Gavin: 4:53 Now I forget remind us, was this just pure pleasure, or were you meeting family down there? Or you&#39;re like, I&#39;m from Florida, therefore I&#39;m gonna go to a fancy place for vacation, which means North Carolina. David: 5:04 Yeah, no, it was um my dad is uh turning 90. Whoa! And he has met both of my children, yeah. And he&#39;s listener, he listens to this regularly. Yeah, right. Um, but he um, you know, he&#39;s met my kids before, but he&#39;s he says all the time, he&#39;s like, I really want to see them. And you know, listen, that&#39;s the gory truth is we don&#39;t know how much longer we&#39;re gonna have them. And so I was like, let&#39;s go down there, let&#39;s see him. My sisters live there, and then we also invited my in-laws to come up. It was like one big where we had like a dinner every night with a different family member. It was actually lovely. Great. But there was an outdoor shower at our Airbnb, which is amazing because when you come off the beach, yeah, you gotta get all the sand off. Yeah. Well, that is where this argument began. Because my daughter, we had been at the beach literally all day. And my daughter had sand inside every part of her body. And we had to wash it off. And my daughter, if unless it&#39;s ice cold, thinks everything is too hot. So I had this the garden hose was outside temperature. It was warm, but it wasn&#39;t hot. And she was like, no, and she screamed body burger, and I was like, I will get this sand out of your vagina if it kills me. And there&#39;s just this screaming argument happening, and I&#39;m sure people can hear it. Um, and so other than that moment, it was actually a really lovely trip. Do you think the neighbors were like, This is what happens when you give the gays kids honestly, they&#39;re right. This is this is what happens. They try, they try to clean the sand out of their daughter&#39;s vaginas, and it all falls apart. Gavin: 6:30 Uh, you know, while you were in North Carolina, actually, I last week, um continuing my kids&#39; film festival, we um were watching super quality stuff. My daughter loves horror movies. She&#39;s watched all the screams, she&#39;s completely obsessed. I&#39;ve given up the thought that I am a terrible parent by letting her watch all the screams. Although, come on, she&#39;s 13. Like we do that when you&#39;re 13, right? So we watched I Know What You Did Last Summer, which I did not watch in the 90s. Uh some good, I mean, it&#39;s trash, but it&#39;s acceptable trash, right? Yeah. But there&#39;s all these scenes looking back on it, and I shan&#39;t dwell on this, that absolutely look like the California coast, but it takes place in North Carolina. And the whole time I was preoccupied with the fact that there is no way that there are oceanside cliffs in North Carolina. Are there oceanside cliffs in anywhere in North Carolina? David: 7:19 There are none. The eastern seaboard is very flat. Gavin: 7:21 Obvi it was filmed in California. Get over this. You&#39;re you&#39;re I&#39;m I&#39;m focusing on the wrong thing. But what was what I did also focused on was the right thing, which which is when they were saying a couple of times, some of the couples being like, I don&#39;t know, let&#39;s go hook up. In we&#39;re going to Dawson&#39;s Creek. And I&#39;m like, wait a minute, is there cross-referencing? unknown: 7:41 No. David: 7:41 I&#39;m like, wait a minute. Does somebody step on your oxygen cord? Gavin: 7:46 Is there cross cross-references between Dawson&#39;s Creek and I know what you did last summer? And it was it cross-pollination? I mean, I don&#39;t know, is it? I mean, was it randomly? Corporate branding or something? No, they were literally like we&#39;re going to Dawson&#39;s Creek. And I thought, that&#39;s random. But it&#39;s an Easter egg. It&#39;s an Easter egg. Um, but you know how I have been an asshole of late to my kids. David: 8:09 You&#39;re gonna have to be more specific because you&#39;re often an asshole to your kids. Gavin: 8:13 I mean, times that you walk away so guiltily thinking, was that really the battle that used to that needed to be fought? The other day, um, so uh we dropped my daughter off at sleepaway camp yesterday. And the consequently, the house is quiet. I would say my son clearly already misses her and is like, this is awesome. And um, but I wanted to make her preferred meal on Saturday night. Uh, I was asking for her help and doing some of it so that she would wouldn&#39;t just sit like a princess on the couch scrolling TikTok and waiting for me to finish up her Instagram found Raising Canes fried chicken recipe, right? Which by the way, I nailed it. Great. And um, I was asking her to uh find a spice in the spice cabinet. And I it just required moving a few things out of the way to find it, right? While she was like, I can&#39;t find it, I can&#39;t find it. She&#39;s screaming at me, I can&#39;t find it. This is so disorganized. It&#39;s all my fault because it&#39;s a spice cabinet, right? Like, I don&#39;t know. It shocker, shocker. Ours is not organized in a perfectly well manicured way so that you don&#39;t have to move through shit. You always have to move through shit, past the garlic salt, past the whatever, to be able to find the uh paprika or something. Well, she&#39;s screaming at me she can&#39;t find the paprika. I&#39;m like, okay, I will put down what I&#39;m doing and go find the paprika. And it was indeed just behind the garlic salt, like I said it was gonna be, right? And I&#39;m like, but do you see, sweetie, all you had to do was move it. Yes, I get it. No, no, no, no. I just need you to acknowledge that all you needed to do was look at, I get it. No, no. I really need you to just tell me that you need stop, stop. And she&#39;s screaming stop at me, and I was just poking that there. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m picking this fight. I don&#39;t know why, but I&#39;m picking this fight. This this is the dumbass fight I&#39;m choosing because why? I&#39;m the asshole who needed to be right. Admittedly, afterwards, my partner was like, Do you need help? David: 10:08 And you&#39;re like, have you listened to Gatriarch? I need a lot of help. I&#39;ve been speaking into a mic to one person for 116 episodes. Anyway, I was the asshole. So you&#39;re the asshole. But you know what? That&#39;s the point of that story. Gavin: 10:24 The whole point of that is that I needed to be right, and guess what? I was never right. And of course, that&#39;s not a battle I should fight. But you didn&#39;t. But sometimes we&#39;re parents and we just are the assholes. So there you go. Yes. Anyway. David: 10:36 Rectify this somehow. Give us a big thing. I&#39;m gonna rectify this. Okay. No. Gavin: 10:39 Um, quick dad hack. I was thinking back to those interminable days uh with really young kids, and I wanted to, I something I wish that I had done more often was instead of just having a house or rather a room or maybe a house full of toys all over the place just piled in corners. One thing that I discovered far too late was hiding all of the toys and just taking out one at a time. Now, I think that we&#39;ve already addressed this maybe 78 episodes ago, and I do remember addressing it, but hey, we&#39;re at episode 116. We might need some reminders from time to time. And we have new listener. I think it might have new listener. Yeah. So, new listener, down the line, don&#39;t try to display all of the toys. No. Have them hidden and take out one at a time, and it&#39;ll be like Christmas every goddamn day in your house, okay? David: 11:23 It&#39;s reverse math, I&#39;ve discovered, where you&#39;re like, oh, if I just add more toys to the because we have like a what we call the study, which is like a room where all the toys go and it&#39;s like where play happens. Gavin: 11:30 And definitely not intellectual study or intellectual. It&#39;s not that kind of study. David: 11:36 It&#39;s like plastic Barbies and marbles and all kinds of shit. But I&#39;m like, oh, we just put more toys in there, they&#39;re gonna want to spend more time. And it&#39;s the exact opposite. When it&#39;s overloaded with toys, they&#39;re just they just don&#39;t want they want to be in the kitchen on top of you while you&#39;re doing the dishes. But if you have one toy in there, they will be yeah, and then we&#39;ve talked about swapping out the toys. Gavin: 11:54 Yeah, Cheesecake Factory, like that menu is way too overwhelming. You just need one thing at a time. Give me four specials. David: 11:59 Everybody will be delighted. Gavin: 12:00 Yeah, absolutely. David: 12:01 Give me four specials. Gavin: 12:03 Gay news of the week. Guess what, David? What? The world is a really dark place, and everything sucks right now. Everything sucks right now. I did find one little glimmering light. God bless that American Pope. He has decided that the Catholic Church will continue to bless queer marriages. And to that I say, thank fucking Christ, that somebody has their heads screwed on to say, we&#39;re love is love, is love is love. And so the Pope, luckily, is going to continue to bless um queer marriages. How grace is that? David: 12:40 Next, just say out loud, we&#39;ll stop fucking kids now. Gavin: 12:43 Oh, can you just say that? David: 12:45 Can can we do that? Can we please let me stop fucking kids now? I would like that. I&#39;m putting that out into the universe. Gavin: 12:53 So many reforms that are necessary from you know, Enoch&#39;s passed down to the first one. David: 13:00 Let&#39;s let&#39;s put gay marriage at a quick number two. Yeah. And let&#39;s make a number one stop fucking kids. Gavin: 13:05 All right. Um, yeah. Speaking of not at all a transition whatsoever, I do want to highlight uh doof of the week. Um, hey, Nate Burkis. That hair, that hair, that that everything. I think Nate Burkus is our um doof of the week. How about that? You have any opinions of the thing. David: 13:22 Uh yeah, well, I I&#39;ve noticed, excuse me. I&#39;ve noticed in 116 episodes of using a podcast with you, hair is something that comes up a lot for you, which is very interesting. I I love a nice head of hair. Um, but yes, no, Nate Burkis is very hot and he&#39;s charming and sweet and docile and very like tw aged twink. Do you know what I mean? Like the like the young wine that just sits on the shelf for a while. Gavin: 13:44 Well, speaking of aged twinks, let&#39;s talk about our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is my week, and um, continuing summer themes. I want to know what are your summer road trip albums, not Spotify playlists, because that&#39;s too like mixy mixy, right? Not mixed, not mixed tapes. Um, I was thinking about this when I was a few weeks ago driving across South Dakota, right? And I&#39;m I I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David goes on &#34;vacation,&#34; Gavin is the asshole (again), the Pope continues to bless gay marriages, we rank the top 3 road trip albums, and this week, we are joined by podcasting royalty Tamar Avishai who talks to us about her podcast, ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David goes on &#34;vacation,&#34; Gavin is the asshole (again), the Pope continues to bless gay marriages, we rank the top 3 road trip albums, and this week, we are joined by podcasting royalty Tamar Avishai who talks to us about her podcast, &#34;The Lonely Palette,&#34; wether she fosters art for her kids, and what it&apos;s like to have a newborn for the third time. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, ex art historian. Ex art that I that&#39;s what I w We&#39;re all about the X&#39;s here. Okay. All right, shall we? David: 0:08 Our next podcast. Wow. See, listen, he&#39;s already screwing up. This is this is what I deal with daily. SPEAKER_03: 0:16 This is Gatriarchs. I&#39;m Tamar Vish. Gavin: 0:32 This is so hard. It is so, so, so hard. It is so hard. So hard. David: 0:37 Um, Gabin, you&#39;re not talking about my dick, I know. We&#39;re talking about parenting, and we&#39;re just gonna jump right into it because Gabin and I were having our little conversation before we started recording pre-recording huddle. I was just debriefing on the terrible bedtime that we just had where I literally slammed the door on a screaming three-year-old and came downstairs and jumped on a Zoom call to record this episode for you, lovely listener. So I hope you&#39;re very happy. But I was Gavin was like, How are you? And I was like, Oh God. Gavin: 1:10 It happens. This is one of the times that I&#39;m not saying to you, just you wait. It gets worse because it will get better. I remember when my kids were that age. I mean, when they were like three, four, two, three, four, five, because they&#39;re 19 months apart. And I would call friends and just commiserate. We would, I mean, I remember times sitting on the kitchen floor. I don&#39;t even know why I was there. It wasn&#39;t like I was a puddle, but I remember so vividly talking to my friend Callie. Um, heads up, Cali, or rather, shout out Callie. I don&#39;t you definitely don&#39;t listen to this, and um saying, like, this is so much harder than anybody prepares you for. And it is so emotionally draining, and you feel like a monster because you have lost your patience. And it&#39;s just, even if your patience is just walking out of the doors or walking out of the room sometimes, you feel like a monster, you feel terrible, everybody feels terrible, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it is the hardest job on the entire goddamn planet. David: 2:08 Yeah, I was saying that to Gavin before we started recording, which was like she was being difficult. She demanded some ice in her bed water, which I was like, fuck off. This is not the Ritz Carleton. And it&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn Express. It&#39;s not even that like hooker motel off the interstate that charges by the hour. But I I just decided to say no. I was like, no. And then she started screaming, and I said, No, you have to hear no sometimes. And then she&#39;d like like like like she was being possessed by a demon, shaking, kicking, whatever. And I just said, nine, and I closed the door, and um, that that was it. And then I was saying to Gabian high-fived your husband to say this is now your problem. Your your problem. But also, I was just like consumed with guilt that I didn&#39;t try just do the ice thing for my my daughter. Gavin: 2:58 Because now that you&#39;re sitting down here recording, you&#39;re like, what is the big fucking deal? I should have just gotten her ice, but at the same time, it is a big deal. And she does need to know that there are limits and that you have your limits. And bedtime is not the time to ask for more ice. And I I it&#39;s this is so universal, and I want the whole world out there and listener to know that David is doing a great job. David: 3:19 Thank you. You&#39;re very sweet to say that. And it is also just a window for the for you listener out there, if you are dealing with any sort of this, and maybe it&#39;s from your teenager, maybe it&#39;s from your three-year-old, maybe it&#39;s from your infant or whatever. Start a podcast and complain about it. Exactly. Even your the the heroes of your life, the the hosts of Gatriarch, we also have problems. Celebrities have problems too, is basically what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 3:46 We have this we have this podcast to be able to complain about our kids, but often sometimes I don&#39;t think we complain enough because it is just oh man, those years that you are going through right now are just soul sucking. And coupled with boring, and coupled with utter frustration and entitlement. And I just want them to get rich and buy me a boat. When does that what age is that? Soon. Probably next week. Maybe next week. Just you wait, David. Just you wait. You will have a boat from your children anytime soon so that you can go on it to the outer banks of North Carolina or something like that, and just like be that guy. David: 4:22 What a delicious transition, Gabe. And I saw you do it and I I accept it. So, North Carolina, why you bring that up? That&#39;s so funny. So, we just went on a family trip to North Carolina this weekend, and I was kind of terrified because the flight&#39;s short, but you know, uh as we had with bedtime, it can go wrong. We&#39;re staying in an Airbnb, we&#39;re going to the beach, there can be all that kind of stuff. Um, I gotta say, other than like one bad moment with the daughter, it was delightful. Family. Gavin: 4:53 Now I forget remind us, was this just pure pleasure, or were you meeting family down there? Or you&#39;re like, I&#39;m from Florida, therefore I&#39;m gonna go to a fancy place for vacation, which means North Carolina. David: 5:04 Yeah, no, it was um my dad is uh turning 90. Whoa! And he has met both of my children, yeah. And he&#39;s listener, he listens to this regularly. Yeah, right. Um, but he um, you know, he&#39;s met my kids before, but he&#39;s he says all the time, he&#39;s like, I really want to see them. And you know, listen, that&#39;s the gory truth is we don&#39;t know how much longer we&#39;re gonna have them. And so I was like, let&#39;s go down there, let&#39;s see him. My sisters live there, and then we also invited my in-laws to come up. It was like one big where we had like a dinner every night with a different family member. It was actually lovely. Great. But there was an outdoor shower at our Airbnb, which is amazing because when you come off the beach, yeah, you gotta get all the sand off. Yeah. Well, that is where this argument began. Because my daughter, we had been at the beach literally all day. And my daughter had sand inside every part of her body. And we had to wash it off. And my daughter, if unless it&#39;s ice cold, thinks everything is too hot. So I had this the garden hose was outside temperature. It was warm, but it wasn&#39;t hot. And she was like, no, and she screamed body burger, and I was like, I will get this sand out of your vagina if it kills me. And there&#39;s just this screaming argument happening, and I&#39;m sure people can hear it. Um, and so other than that moment, it was actually a really lovely trip. Do you think the neighbors were like, This is what happens when you give the gays kids honestly, they&#39;re right. This is this is what happens. They try, they try to clean the sand out of their daughter&#39;s vaginas, and it all falls apart. Gavin: 6:30 Uh, you know, while you were in North Carolina, actually, I last week, um continuing my kids&#39; film festival, we um were watching super quality stuff. My daughter loves horror movies. She&#39;s watched all the screams, she&#39;s completely obsessed. I&#39;ve given up the thought that I am a terrible parent by letting her watch all the screams. Although, come on, she&#39;s 13. Like we do that when you&#39;re 13, right? So we watched I Know What You Did Last Summer, which I did not watch in the 90s. Uh some good, I mean, it&#39;s trash, but it&#39;s acceptable trash, right? Yeah. But there&#39;s all these scenes looking back on it, and I shan&#39;t dwell on this, that absolutely look like the California coast, but it takes place in North Carolina. And the whole time I was preoccupied with the fact that there is no way that there are oceanside cliffs in North Carolina. Are there oceanside cliffs in anywhere in North Carolina? David: 7:19 There are none. The eastern seaboard is very flat. Gavin: 7:21 Obvi it was filmed in California. Get over this. You&#39;re you&#39;re I&#39;m I&#39;m focusing on the wrong thing. But what was what I did also focused on was the right thing, which which is when they were saying a couple of times, some of the couples being like, I don&#39;t know, let&#39;s go hook up. In we&#39;re going to Dawson&#39;s Creek. And I&#39;m like, wait a minute, is there cross-referencing? unknown: 7:41 No. David: 7:41 I&#39;m like, wait a minute. Does somebody step on your oxygen cord? Gavin: 7:46 Is there cross cross-references between Dawson&#39;s Creek and I know what you did last summer? And it was it cross-pollination? I mean, I don&#39;t know, is it? I mean, was it randomly? Corporate branding or something? No, they were literally like we&#39;re going to Dawson&#39;s Creek. And I thought, that&#39;s random. But it&#39;s an Easter egg. It&#39;s an Easter egg. Um, but you know how I have been an asshole of late to my kids. David: 8:09 You&#39;re gonna have to be more specific because you&#39;re often an asshole to your kids. Gavin: 8:13 I mean, times that you walk away so guiltily thinking, was that really the battle that used to that needed to be fought? The other day, um, so uh we dropped my daughter off at sleepaway camp yesterday. And the consequently, the house is quiet. I would say my son clearly already misses her and is like, this is awesome. And um, but I wanted to make her preferred meal on Saturday night. Uh, I was asking for her help and doing some of it so that she would wouldn&#39;t just sit like a princess on the couch scrolling TikTok and waiting for me to finish up her Instagram found Raising Canes fried chicken recipe, right? Which by the way, I nailed it. Great. And um, I was asking her to uh find a spice in the spice cabinet. And I it just required moving a few things out of the way to find it, right? While she was like, I can&#39;t find it, I can&#39;t find it. She&#39;s screaming at me, I can&#39;t find it. This is so disorganized. It&#39;s all my fault because it&#39;s a spice cabinet, right? Like, I don&#39;t know. It shocker, shocker. Ours is not organized in a perfectly well manicured way so that you don&#39;t have to move through shit. You always have to move through shit, past the garlic salt, past the whatever, to be able to find the uh paprika or something. Well, she&#39;s screaming at me she can&#39;t find the paprika. I&#39;m like, okay, I will put down what I&#39;m doing and go find the paprika. And it was indeed just behind the garlic salt, like I said it was gonna be, right? And I&#39;m like, but do you see, sweetie, all you had to do was move it. Yes, I get it. No, no, no, no. I just need you to acknowledge that all you needed to do was look at, I get it. No, no. I really need you to just tell me that you need stop, stop. And she&#39;s screaming stop at me, and I was just poking that there. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m picking this fight. I don&#39;t know why, but I&#39;m picking this fight. This this is the dumbass fight I&#39;m choosing because why? I&#39;m the asshole who needed to be right. Admittedly, afterwards, my partner was like, Do you need help? David: 10:08 And you&#39;re like, have you listened to Gatriarch? I need a lot of help. I&#39;ve been speaking into a mic to one person for 116 episodes. Anyway, I was the asshole. So you&#39;re the asshole. But you know what? That&#39;s the point of that story. Gavin: 10:24 The whole point of that is that I needed to be right, and guess what? I was never right. And of course, that&#39;s not a battle I should fight. But you didn&#39;t. But sometimes we&#39;re parents and we just are the assholes. So there you go. Yes. Anyway. David: 10:36 Rectify this somehow. Give us a big thing. I&#39;m gonna rectify this. Okay. No. Gavin: 10:39 Um, quick dad hack. I was thinking back to those interminable days uh with really young kids, and I wanted to, I something I wish that I had done more often was instead of just having a house or rather a room or maybe a house full of toys all over the place just piled in corners. One thing that I discovered far too late was hiding all of the toys and just taking out one at a time. Now, I think that we&#39;ve already addressed this maybe 78 episodes ago, and I do remember addressing it, but hey, we&#39;re at episode 116. We might need some reminders from time to time. And we have new listener. I think it might have new listener. Yeah. So, new listener, down the line, don&#39;t try to display all of the toys. No. Have them hidden and take out one at a time, and it&#39;ll be like Christmas every goddamn day in your house, okay? David: 11:23 It&#39;s reverse math, I&#39;ve discovered, where you&#39;re like, oh, if I just add more toys to the because we have like a what we call the study, which is like a room where all the toys go and it&#39;s like where play happens. Gavin: 11:30 And definitely not intellectual study or intellectual. It&#39;s not that kind of study. David: 11:36 It&#39;s like plastic Barbies and marbles and all kinds of shit. But I&#39;m like, oh, we just put more toys in there, they&#39;re gonna want to spend more time. And it&#39;s the exact opposite. When it&#39;s overloaded with toys, they&#39;re just they just don&#39;t want they want to be in the kitchen on top of you while you&#39;re doing the dishes. But if you have one toy in there, they will be yeah, and then we&#39;ve talked about swapping out the toys. Gavin: 11:54 Yeah, Cheesecake Factory, like that menu is way too overwhelming. You just need one thing at a time. Give me four specials. David: 11:59 Everybody will be delighted. Gavin: 12:00 Yeah, absolutely. David: 12:01 Give me four specials. Gavin: 12:03 Gay news of the week. Guess what, David? What? The world is a really dark place, and everything sucks right now. Everything sucks right now. I did find one little glimmering light. God bless that American Pope. He has decided that the Catholic Church will continue to bless queer marriages. And to that I say, thank fucking Christ, that somebody has their heads screwed on to say, we&#39;re love is love, is love is love. And so the Pope, luckily, is going to continue to bless um queer marriages. How grace is that? David: 12:40 Next, just say out loud, we&#39;ll stop fucking kids now. Gavin: 12:43 Oh, can you just say that? David: 12:45 Can can we do that? Can we please let me stop fucking kids now? I would like that. I&#39;m putting that out into the universe. Gavin: 12:53 So many reforms that are necessary from you know, Enoch&#39;s passed down to the first one. David: 13:00 Let&#39;s let&#39;s put gay marriage at a quick number two. Yeah. And let&#39;s make a number one stop fucking kids. Gavin: 13:05 All right. Um, yeah. Speaking of not at all a transition whatsoever, I do want to highlight uh doof of the week. Um, hey, Nate Burkis. That hair, that hair, that that everything. I think Nate Burkus is our um doof of the week. How about that? You have any opinions of the thing. David: 13:22 Uh yeah, well, I I&#39;ve noticed, excuse me. I&#39;ve noticed in 116 episodes of using a podcast with you, hair is something that comes up a lot for you, which is very interesting. I I love a nice head of hair. Um, but yes, no, Nate Burkis is very hot and he&#39;s charming and sweet and docile and very like tw aged twink. Do you know what I mean? Like the like the young wine that just sits on the shelf for a while. Gavin: 13:44 Well, speaking of aged twinks, let&#39;s talk about our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is my week, and um, continuing summer themes. I want to know what are your summer road trip albums, not Spotify playlists, because that&#39;s too like mixy mixy, right? Not mixed, not mixed tapes. Um, I was thinking about this when I was a few weeks ago driving across South Dakota, right? And I&#39;m I I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David goes on &#34;vacation,&#34; Gavin is the asshole (again), the Pope continues to bless gay marriages, we rank the top 3 road trip albums, and this week, we are joined by podcasting royalty Tamar Avishai who talks to us about her podcast, &#34;The Lonely Palette,&#34; wether she fosters art for her kids, and what it&apos;s like to have a newborn for the third time. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, ex art historian. Ex art that I that&#39;s what I w We&#39;re all about the X&#39;s here. Okay. All right, shall we? David: 0:08 Our next podcast. Wow. See, listen, he&#39;s already screwing up. This is this is what I deal with daily. SPEAKER_03: 0:16 This is Gatriarchs. I&#39;m Tamar Vish. Gavin: 0:32 This is so hard. It is so, so, so hard. It is so hard. So hard. David: 0:37 Um, Gabin, you&#39;re not talking about my dick, I know. We&#39;re talking about parenting, and we&#39;re just gonna jump right into it because Gabin and I were having our little conversation before we started recording pre-recording huddle. I was just debriefing on the terrible bedtime that we just had where I literally slammed the door on a screaming three-year-old and came downstairs and jumped on a Zoom call to record this episode for you, lovely listener. So I hope you&#39;re very happy. But I was Gavin was like, How are you? And I was like, Oh God. Gavin: 1:10 It happens. This is one of the times that I&#39;m not saying to you, just you wait. It gets worse because it will get better. I remember when my kids were that age. I mean, when they were like three, four, two, three, four, five, because they&#39;re 19 months apart. And I would call friends and just commiserate. We would, I mean, I remember times sitting on the kitchen floor. I don&#39;t even know why I was there. It wasn&#39;t like I was a puddle, but I remember so vividly talking to my friend Callie. Um, heads up, Cali, or rather, shout out Callie. I don&#39;t you definitely don&#39;t listen to this, and um saying, like, this is so much harder than anybody prepares you for. And it is so emotionally draining, and you feel like a monster because you have lost your patience. And it&#39;s just, even if your patience is just walking out of the doors or walking out of the room sometimes, you feel like a monster, you feel terrible, everybody feels terrible, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it is the hardest job on the entire goddamn planet. David: 2:08 Yeah, I was saying that to Gavin before we started recording, which was like she was being difficult. She demanded some ice in her bed water, which I was like, fuck off. This is not the Ritz Carleton. And it&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s not even the Holiday Inn Express. It&#39;s not even that like hooker motel off the interstate that charges by the hour. But I I just decided to say no. I was like, no. And then she started screaming, and I said, No, you have to hear no sometimes. And then she&#39;d like like like like she was being possessed by a demon, shaking, kicking, whatever. And I just said, nine, and I closed the door, and um, that that was it. And then I was saying to Gabian high-fived your husband to say this is now your problem. Your your problem. But also, I was just like consumed with guilt that I didn&#39;t try just do the ice thing for my my daughter. Gavin: 2:58 Because now that you&#39;re sitting down here recording, you&#39;re like, what is the big fucking deal? I should have just gotten her ice, but at the same time, it is a big deal. And she does need to know that there are limits and that you have your limits. And bedtime is not the time to ask for more ice. And I I it&#39;s this is so universal, and I want the whole world out there and listener to know that David is doing a great job. David: 3:19 Thank you. You&#39;re very sweet to say that. And it is also jus]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David goes on &#34;vacation,&#34; Gavin is the asshole (again), the Pope continues to bless gay marriages, we rank the top 3 road trip albums, and this week, we are joined by podcasting royalty Tamar Avishai who talks to us about her podcast, &#34;The Lonely Palette,&#34; wether she fosters art for her kids, and what it&apos;s like to have a newborn for the third time. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, ex art historian. Ex art that I that&#39;s what I w We&#39;re all about the X&#39;s here. Okay. All right, shall we? David: 0:08 Our next podcast. Wow. See, listen, he&#39;s already screwing up. This is this is what I deal with daily. SPEAKER_03: 0:16 This is Gatriarchs. I&#39;m Tamar Vish. Gavin: 0:32 This is so hard. It is so, so, so hard. It is so hard. So hard. David: 0:37 Um, Gabin, you&#39;re not talking about my dick, I know. We&#39;re talkin]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Matt Tolbert</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-matt-tolbert/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is hairier than usual, Gavin neglects his pets, camp is in chaos, we rank the top 3 taco toppings, and this week we are joined by Matt Tolbert, who tells us how he got into the social media sphere, the journey of him expecting two kids by two surrogates at the same time, and we do a lightning round &#34;Pre-Parent Quiz&#34; which he fully passes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 You know who is not a good bisexual? You could have made that so much better. I know. That was really bad. That was Oh, did I fail? Do I is this a cold open? I mean is it my cold open? Gavin: 0:13 This is David, welcome. You&#39;re in very good company. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:18 I hate it. Gavin, I&#39;ve spent my entire life as a male and a homosexual. Oh. And I am experiencing something for the first time now, which is long hair in the house. Gavin: 0:44 Oh. Wait, you never had like female roommates at some point? You&#39;ve never lived with a woman? Well, my mom, but she always had short hair. David: 0:53 So like I am just like we&#39;re talking like long ponytail style. Gavin: 0:57 You never had a ponytail in your life? You never had a time in college where I didn&#39;t go through the ponytail phase in the state. You didn&#39;t? That was you. I thought. Hey, listen, I was the I was doing my ponytail best in the 90s, and it was, by the way, awesome. I&#39;m sure. David: 1:13 I did the fro thing when I did um when I was in college, I would tease, I had really curly hair and I would tease it out. It was like Justin Timberlake on steroids, and I like teased it out. God, I looked horrible. But anyway, I I I am now discovering hair in places. Like I&#39;m not used to that. And the other day, I&#39;m gonna get a little blue, everyone. I was wiping my butt. Gavin: 1:38 I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:39 And I said that I felt something that just didn&#39;t feel right. And as I like pulled the toy up, I could feel the like hair pulling against. And I was like, You had swallowed brain? No, I think it had just gotten in my under. You know what I mean? It&#39;s just gotten in the house or whatever. And so I don&#39;t like it. I don&#39;t like having this weird long hair everywhere. It cut it&#39;s ever it&#39;s so gross. So it&#39;s a new experience for me as a dad. Gavin: 2:06 That is it&#39;s pretty gross. I&#39;m not gonna lie, I&#39;m a little taken aback by that. Um, also that you&#39;ve never really experienced it. I mean, I had girl roommates in college a couple of times and had girlfriends a couple of times, and so you get hair in your butt. Because it was like in my butt. Never mind. It was in my butt. It&#39;s a completely different experience. I mean, even in my time. I&#39;ve talked about glitter in my kids&#39; diapers multiple times, but I never found I never found glitter in my own diaper. So you will someday. I will. Wouldn&#39;t that be a great thing to brag about? Well, you know they sell glitter pills. What? Yeah. David: 2:46 You can shit glitter? Yes. You can literally shit glitter. Gavin: 2:49 This episode, this episode brought to you by the shit glitter company. David: 2:54 But like, I wouldn&#39;t that be funny if we like slip that into like Nana&#39;s food and then just like let it like be like Nana thinks she&#39;s shitting gold. Gavin: 3:00 Listen, in New England where I live, nobody would say anything. They would just keep shitting glitter and nobody just like wipe that under the rug. Nobody&#39;s gonna talk about it because it makes you stand out and you&#39;re weird. Yeah. Uh there is wait, wait, wait. I&#39;m you floored me multiple times already, and we are only 15 minutes into this boring ass podcast. But there is shit glitter. Okay, anyway. Well, speaking of uh not any of that, well, kind of like pets and having to clean up after them. You have not entered the your children want every single pet under the planet, and you eventually capitulate and buy them a pet yet, right? David: 3:33 Not yet, but just in the past couple of months, my children have been saying the word dog a lot lately. So I think it&#39;s coming. And now that we&#39;re Are you cool with that? Um, yes, we don&#39;t have a yard. We have two like little patio areas, so we can&#39;t have a dog yet. I&#39;m a cat person, but who also loves I&#39;d like a cat person with a dog rising. Like I love dogs too, but I&#39;m a cat person. But like, no, we we have we that this is yet to start, but it&#39;s it&#39;s I can I can tell it&#39;s coming. Gavin: 4:01 Yeah. Oh, life&#39;s better with the dog. Yeah. Um, and I suppose a cat. I mean, I have a dog and a cat. I didn&#39;t grow up with a cat, but I I&#39;m a fan of our cat. She&#39;s a killer. Um, but anyway, so we definitely at COVID time capitulated to our kids saying, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets. And we got a few of them. So we have, especially in COVID, we have a zoo. I&#39;ve talked about this many times. Thank you for not falling asleep at the zoom room with me, uh, because I&#39;ve talked about this. But we have this constant battle, especially in the summertime, of the kids taking care of the pets, right? Because one, they tend to sleep in, and those animals need to be fed in the morning. But my daughter has a lizard, a um, it&#39;s a leopard gecko. And that thing has to eat those goddamn live crickets, and it drives me crazy. But guess what? We have all around our house right now: crickets and grasshoppers. Summertime crickets and grasshoppers. And so I&#39;m like, hey, can you please go out and just like pick up some crickets? Listen, when I tell you the amount of screaming that went on yesterday from both sides about like, hey, what a fun summer activity! As you&#39;re standing here asking me 752 times an hour for more screen time on TikTok and whatnot, and I am bribing little, you know, uh tasks out of them by saying, well, go do this first and then I&#39;ll give you 15 minutes. One of them was keep your stupid lizard alive by going and harvesting some crickets. Listen, there were things being thrown and they were not crickets. And I am this stands as a warning. What is the point of this? This stands as a warning. We&#39;re all wondering that, Gavin. What is the what is this story? Don&#39;t get pets. Two, somebody please set up that library/slash borrowing um pet program that I&#39;ve fantasized about. Somebody, please come get this lizard from us. And also, um, you really can fight crickets around your house. And that is what my daughter should be doing. But it is the battle du jour because even today we woke up and we&#39;re like, is the lizard dead? I hope so. So we don&#39;t have to have battles over feeding the lizard anymore. David: 5:50 Um ASPCA is gonna be ringing your doorbell soon. Be like, are you? Would you wish a lizard death on your podcast that nobody listens to, Mr. Gavin: 5:58 Mr. Lodge? Well, that&#39;s gonna be exacerbated also because my kids are going to some sleepaway camps coming up, and I am getting absolutely inundated. I mean, we think school is bad enough, and let&#39;s face it, school is bad enough. If sign this form, sign this form, sign this form, but camps, yo, so many forms. So many forms. And the like the physical forms, like, you know, the the the forms about their physicals that I&#39;m like, wait, what who has this? Well, we do because we&#39;re all parents and we&#39;re it&#39;s 2025. But um, I&#39;m it, you know, every day goes by and I think I&#39;ll get to that yet tomorrow. I&#39;ll get that tomorrow. Well, I had to call a camp today to say I&#39;m really they they threatened to pull my kid from camp because I hadn&#39;t fully registered her. And I&#39;m like, listen, I&#39;m desperate. I gotta get my kid out of the house. You have to take them to camp. So that you know, that&#39;s bad enough. Um, and staying on top of the camp forms is just way too much. But I got my first school email already. And it is what at the time of the publishing of this day. July 16th, when we put this goes to post, right? Oh, yes. I got a school email already. Too soon. And it is it&#39;s too too soon, dude. Too soon. David: 7:09 It&#39;s too soon. You know what&#39;s so funny about camp? So we we our camp is weekly, the one that we&#39;ve been going to, and we&#39;re not going this week because we&#39;re going out of town on Wednesday, but I&#39;m stupid. That means I have a child at home Monday and Tuesday. I don&#39;t think about that because I was like, oh, no big deal. We just won&#39;t pay for the week. Do you believe on Sunday night I was frantically emailing the camp and I said, can I can I just bring them Monday and Tuesday? And they were so chill because we spent literally our entire paycheck there, because that&#39;s also our gym, it&#39;s our daycare, whatever. And they were like, Yeah, just bring them whatever. So they were super chill about it. But I was like, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s just like when you&#39;re grocery shopping, you&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna eat really healthy, and you get home and you&#39;re like, there&#39;s nothing to eat. I was like, I didn&#39;t really, I was just like, no, we&#39;re not gonna need to waste money on two days of camp. Let&#39;s just skip that week. Fuck that. Fuck that noise for sure. Yeah, fuck that noise. But wait, I actually have a really good dad hack of the week. Gavin: 7:59 Oh, finally. David: 8:00 And it and the reason it&#39;s good is because my husband thought of it. So he saw it on Instagram or TikTok or somewhere, and we tried it. And I can tell you from your favorite podcaster to you, this one actually works. So you know how kids I don&#39;t know if your kids are like this, but our kids are obsessed with like the fake temporary tattoos that you put on with like a little bit of water. You&#39;re going through that phase, right? We&#39;re in that phase, and so every day they look like they&#39;ve served some time in the penitentiary. Nice. And well, getting them off is really fucking annoying. Yeah. Here&#39;s the hack packing tape, you just put right on top, lift it right up, boom, gone. I was trying scrubbing with water and doing all kinds of things. Gavin: 8:41 These are no these are problems I&#39;ve never imagined. Wait, why are you so desperate to get the tattoos off? Are the kids trying to scratch them or do you have formal events to go to where they can&#39;t look like inmates? David: 8:51 No, no, it&#39;s just that they&#39;re tired of them or they&#39;re starting to fade or they just look shitty or whatever. But it is it is such a great hack. It&#39;s literally just packing tape, comes right off. Gavin: 9:02 So packing tape for those uh tattoos. You know, a another dad hack we might as well piggypack this on is you know the um hack for getting glitter lips off of a drag queen, right? You do not know that. No. No, this is not a joke. So when I was in Priscilla Queen of the Desert, we had to do a lot of glitter lips, all right? When we were uh drag queens. And um, we would actually use mic tape, which you and our listener know about, but um and it or you can use packing tape and you just kiss the tape because that gets the glitter off. Otherwise, glitters you cannot wipe glitter off of your lips, right? Or off of your skin for that matter. So you use packing tape, or mic tape was actually stuck less, and then you wipe the uh the lipstick off. So there&#39;s a dad hack that&#39;s gonna be very helpful. I think we have drag queen per listener. David: 9:48 We probably have drag queen. We had Corner Simmons on the show. Corner Simmons, exactly. Yes, yeah. Gavin: 9:53 So uh we should we should revisit that parenting hacks from a drag queen. I don&#39;t think we addressed that directly with him. Um, so we do have a DILF of the week, and this was once again me googling at the very last second, and I found a list on Out magazine, and I was a little surprised by number three, which was Dennis O&#39;Hare. You know who Dennis O&#39;Hare is, right? Dennis O&#39;Hare. He&#39;s a Broadway king, and he&#39;s a slightly older, mature uh silver fox, if you will. And he has played so many iconic roles on Broadway, but never really the lead. So he&#39;s not um he&#39;s not an everyday name. But I love that Out Magazine put him as number three uh Dilf. Um and so right on Dennis O&#39;Hare and your beautiful son, and um I believe he doesn&#39;t even live in the United States anymore. I think he moved to Paris because he couldn&#39;t deal with all the bullshit. So anyway, Dennis O&#39;Hare, hey Dilf of the Week, we&#39;ll give you a shout-out, Dennis. All the way wherever you&#39;re living these days. And speaking of wherever we&#39;re living these days, it&#39;s the gay news. There&#39;s basically nothing out there. Except I dug something out at here, America&#39;s finest news source. Um, you know that the US government has is trying to erase, well, us, right? And at the Stonewall Monument, they have actually taken out the words LGBTQ plus and queer and replaced everything with thank God they haven&#39;t erased this, gay and lesbian. So they&#39;ve gone from expansive to just very, very narrow. And at least thank God, again, at the Stonewall Monument, they didn&#39;t take that out. But they also at one point tried to take the word bisexual out of any reference at the actual monument. But guess what? Those queens freaked out about it, and somehow, for some reason, the government stepped back and put um uh uh bisexual back in some of the references on the memorial. So, you know, the US government just slipped it back in like any good bisexual would. David: 11:58 You know what else I wished we could erase from the world? Do tell. Our top three list. Gavin: 12:03 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 12:08 All right, this is my really terrible idea for top three list, but I happened to be eating tacos that night, and I was thinking, listen, taco toppings are a hot button issue in our house. Some kids want all of them, some kids want none of them, some adults want some, and some people are allergic to this. So I thought, you know, what are your top three? What are the top three go-to taco toppings? Um, and as I curated my list, I realized um I&#39;m watching Gaben actively curate his list right now. Gavin: 12:32 No, no, no, no, mine is already, I already wrote it, but I am writing a note to myself. David: 12:36 Okay. Um, so I realized as I as I was ordering them, they are all kind of in the same category. So clearly I have a theme. Number three, basic bitch, but sour cream. I need a sour cream on that taco. Number two, very sour cream adjacent, spicy mayo. Like the Chipotle kind of like spicy sauce. Wow, you double down on your creaminess. Just wait. Just wait till number one, Game. And number one, it&#39;s it&#39;s the quintessential taco topping, but I don&#39;t think you can eat tacos without it. Guacamole or avocado. Gavin: 13:09 Okay. You just a bunch of cream on top of there. Okay. Yes. Uh, okay, okay. Well, for number three for me is an overlap. Sour cream. Love it. Number two, cilantro. Uh oh, you&#39;re what I&#39;m saying. I feel like yes, I feel like just a little bit of cilantro gives such a kick. And I really uh I love that because it gives me super Mexican vibes, I feel like. So I love that. Number one for me is sliced avocado because I feel like guacamole is so very, very disappointing that I just want like, you know, slices of avocado on there. However, if we&#39;re talking about a different kind of taco, i.e. Trump always chickens out, my number one topping is impeachment. David: 13:49 Yes. I want to top Trump with impeachment. I don&#39;t want to top Trump. Um, all right, what&#39;s next week? Give us a really good list. Gavin: 13:58 Next week, since it is still summer vibes and I tend to kind of just go there with the season, and because you just asked me three seconds ago, I think that next week&#39;s top three list, I want to know about your road tripping albums. Not individual...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is hairier than usual, Gavin neglects his pets, camp is in chaos, we rank the top 3 taco toppings, and this week we are joined by Matt Tolbert, who tells us how he got into the social media sphere, the journey of him expecting two kids b]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is hairier than usual, Gavin neglects his pets, camp is in chaos, we rank the top 3 taco toppings, and this week we are joined by Matt Tolbert, who tells us how he got into the social media sphere, the journey of him expecting two kids by two surrogates at the same time, and we do a lightning round &#34;Pre-Parent Quiz&#34; which he fully passes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 You know who is not a good bisexual? You could have made that so much better. I know. That was really bad. That was Oh, did I fail? Do I is this a cold open? I mean is it my cold open? Gavin: 0:13 This is David, welcome. You&#39;re in very good company. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:18 I hate it. Gavin, I&#39;ve spent my entire life as a male and a homosexual. Oh. And I am experiencing something for the first time now, which is long hair in the house. Gavin: 0:44 Oh. Wait, you never had like female roommates at some point? You&#39;ve never lived with a woman? Well, my mom, but she always had short hair. David: 0:53 So like I am just like we&#39;re talking like long ponytail style. Gavin: 0:57 You never had a ponytail in your life? You never had a time in college where I didn&#39;t go through the ponytail phase in the state. You didn&#39;t? That was you. I thought. Hey, listen, I was the I was doing my ponytail best in the 90s, and it was, by the way, awesome. I&#39;m sure. David: 1:13 I did the fro thing when I did um when I was in college, I would tease, I had really curly hair and I would tease it out. It was like Justin Timberlake on steroids, and I like teased it out. God, I looked horrible. But anyway, I I I am now discovering hair in places. Like I&#39;m not used to that. And the other day, I&#39;m gonna get a little blue, everyone. I was wiping my butt. Gavin: 1:38 I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:39 And I said that I felt something that just didn&#39;t feel right. And as I like pulled the toy up, I could feel the like hair pulling against. And I was like, You had swallowed brain? No, I think it had just gotten in my under. You know what I mean? It&#39;s just gotten in the house or whatever. And so I don&#39;t like it. I don&#39;t like having this weird long hair everywhere. It cut it&#39;s ever it&#39;s so gross. So it&#39;s a new experience for me as a dad. Gavin: 2:06 That is it&#39;s pretty gross. I&#39;m not gonna lie, I&#39;m a little taken aback by that. Um, also that you&#39;ve never really experienced it. I mean, I had girl roommates in college a couple of times and had girlfriends a couple of times, and so you get hair in your butt. Because it was like in my butt. Never mind. It was in my butt. It&#39;s a completely different experience. I mean, even in my time. I&#39;ve talked about glitter in my kids&#39; diapers multiple times, but I never found I never found glitter in my own diaper. So you will someday. I will. Wouldn&#39;t that be a great thing to brag about? Well, you know they sell glitter pills. What? Yeah. David: 2:46 You can shit glitter? Yes. You can literally shit glitter. Gavin: 2:49 This episode, this episode brought to you by the shit glitter company. David: 2:54 But like, I wouldn&#39;t that be funny if we like slip that into like Nana&#39;s food and then just like let it like be like Nana thinks she&#39;s shitting gold. Gavin: 3:00 Listen, in New England where I live, nobody would say anything. They would just keep shitting glitter and nobody just like wipe that under the rug. Nobody&#39;s gonna talk about it because it makes you stand out and you&#39;re weird. Yeah. Uh there is wait, wait, wait. I&#39;m you floored me multiple times already, and we are only 15 minutes into this boring ass podcast. But there is shit glitter. Okay, anyway. Well, speaking of uh not any of that, well, kind of like pets and having to clean up after them. You have not entered the your children want every single pet under the planet, and you eventually capitulate and buy them a pet yet, right? David: 3:33 Not yet, but just in the past couple of months, my children have been saying the word dog a lot lately. So I think it&#39;s coming. And now that we&#39;re Are you cool with that? Um, yes, we don&#39;t have a yard. We have two like little patio areas, so we can&#39;t have a dog yet. I&#39;m a cat person, but who also loves I&#39;d like a cat person with a dog rising. Like I love dogs too, but I&#39;m a cat person. But like, no, we we have we that this is yet to start, but it&#39;s it&#39;s I can I can tell it&#39;s coming. Gavin: 4:01 Yeah. Oh, life&#39;s better with the dog. Yeah. Um, and I suppose a cat. I mean, I have a dog and a cat. I didn&#39;t grow up with a cat, but I I&#39;m a fan of our cat. She&#39;s a killer. Um, but anyway, so we definitely at COVID time capitulated to our kids saying, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets. And we got a few of them. So we have, especially in COVID, we have a zoo. I&#39;ve talked about this many times. Thank you for not falling asleep at the zoom room with me, uh, because I&#39;ve talked about this. But we have this constant battle, especially in the summertime, of the kids taking care of the pets, right? Because one, they tend to sleep in, and those animals need to be fed in the morning. But my daughter has a lizard, a um, it&#39;s a leopard gecko. And that thing has to eat those goddamn live crickets, and it drives me crazy. But guess what? We have all around our house right now: crickets and grasshoppers. Summertime crickets and grasshoppers. And so I&#39;m like, hey, can you please go out and just like pick up some crickets? Listen, when I tell you the amount of screaming that went on yesterday from both sides about like, hey, what a fun summer activity! As you&#39;re standing here asking me 752 times an hour for more screen time on TikTok and whatnot, and I am bribing little, you know, uh tasks out of them by saying, well, go do this first and then I&#39;ll give you 15 minutes. One of them was keep your stupid lizard alive by going and harvesting some crickets. Listen, there were things being thrown and they were not crickets. And I am this stands as a warning. What is the point of this? This stands as a warning. We&#39;re all wondering that, Gavin. What is the what is this story? Don&#39;t get pets. Two, somebody please set up that library/slash borrowing um pet program that I&#39;ve fantasized about. Somebody, please come get this lizard from us. And also, um, you really can fight crickets around your house. And that is what my daughter should be doing. But it is the battle du jour because even today we woke up and we&#39;re like, is the lizard dead? I hope so. So we don&#39;t have to have battles over feeding the lizard anymore. David: 5:50 Um ASPCA is gonna be ringing your doorbell soon. Be like, are you? Would you wish a lizard death on your podcast that nobody listens to, Mr. Gavin: 5:58 Mr. Lodge? Well, that&#39;s gonna be exacerbated also because my kids are going to some sleepaway camps coming up, and I am getting absolutely inundated. I mean, we think school is bad enough, and let&#39;s face it, school is bad enough. If sign this form, sign this form, sign this form, but camps, yo, so many forms. So many forms. And the like the physical forms, like, you know, the the the forms about their physicals that I&#39;m like, wait, what who has this? Well, we do because we&#39;re all parents and we&#39;re it&#39;s 2025. But um, I&#39;m it, you know, every day goes by and I think I&#39;ll get to that yet tomorrow. I&#39;ll get that tomorrow. Well, I had to call a camp today to say I&#39;m really they they threatened to pull my kid from camp because I hadn&#39;t fully registered her. And I&#39;m like, listen, I&#39;m desperate. I gotta get my kid out of the house. You have to take them to camp. So that you know, that&#39;s bad enough. Um, and staying on top of the camp forms is just way too much. But I got my first school email already. And it is what at the time of the publishing of this day. July 16th, when we put this goes to post, right? Oh, yes. I got a school email already. Too soon. And it is it&#39;s too too soon, dude. Too soon. David: 7:09 It&#39;s too soon. You know what&#39;s so funny about camp? So we we our camp is weekly, the one that we&#39;ve been going to, and we&#39;re not going this week because we&#39;re going out of town on Wednesday, but I&#39;m stupid. That means I have a child at home Monday and Tuesday. I don&#39;t think about that because I was like, oh, no big deal. We just won&#39;t pay for the week. Do you believe on Sunday night I was frantically emailing the camp and I said, can I can I just bring them Monday and Tuesday? And they were so chill because we spent literally our entire paycheck there, because that&#39;s also our gym, it&#39;s our daycare, whatever. And they were like, Yeah, just bring them whatever. So they were super chill about it. But I was like, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s just like when you&#39;re grocery shopping, you&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna eat really healthy, and you get home and you&#39;re like, there&#39;s nothing to eat. I was like, I didn&#39;t really, I was just like, no, we&#39;re not gonna need to waste money on two days of camp. Let&#39;s just skip that week. Fuck that. Fuck that noise for sure. Yeah, fuck that noise. But wait, I actually have a really good dad hack of the week. Gavin: 7:59 Oh, finally. David: 8:00 And it and the reason it&#39;s good is because my husband thought of it. So he saw it on Instagram or TikTok or somewhere, and we tried it. And I can tell you from your favorite podcaster to you, this one actually works. So you know how kids I don&#39;t know if your kids are like this, but our kids are obsessed with like the fake temporary tattoos that you put on with like a little bit of water. You&#39;re going through that phase, right? We&#39;re in that phase, and so every day they look like they&#39;ve served some time in the penitentiary. Nice. And well, getting them off is really fucking annoying. Yeah. Here&#39;s the hack packing tape, you just put right on top, lift it right up, boom, gone. I was trying scrubbing with water and doing all kinds of things. Gavin: 8:41 These are no these are problems I&#39;ve never imagined. Wait, why are you so desperate to get the tattoos off? Are the kids trying to scratch them or do you have formal events to go to where they can&#39;t look like inmates? David: 8:51 No, no, it&#39;s just that they&#39;re tired of them or they&#39;re starting to fade or they just look shitty or whatever. But it is it is such a great hack. It&#39;s literally just packing tape, comes right off. Gavin: 9:02 So packing tape for those uh tattoos. You know, a another dad hack we might as well piggypack this on is you know the um hack for getting glitter lips off of a drag queen, right? You do not know that. No. No, this is not a joke. So when I was in Priscilla Queen of the Desert, we had to do a lot of glitter lips, all right? When we were uh drag queens. And um, we would actually use mic tape, which you and our listener know about, but um and it or you can use packing tape and you just kiss the tape because that gets the glitter off. Otherwise, glitters you cannot wipe glitter off of your lips, right? Or off of your skin for that matter. So you use packing tape, or mic tape was actually stuck less, and then you wipe the uh the lipstick off. So there&#39;s a dad hack that&#39;s gonna be very helpful. I think we have drag queen per listener. David: 9:48 We probably have drag queen. We had Corner Simmons on the show. Corner Simmons, exactly. Yes, yeah. Gavin: 9:53 So uh we should we should revisit that parenting hacks from a drag queen. I don&#39;t think we addressed that directly with him. Um, so we do have a DILF of the week, and this was once again me googling at the very last second, and I found a list on Out magazine, and I was a little surprised by number three, which was Dennis O&#39;Hare. You know who Dennis O&#39;Hare is, right? Dennis O&#39;Hare. He&#39;s a Broadway king, and he&#39;s a slightly older, mature uh silver fox, if you will. And he has played so many iconic roles on Broadway, but never really the lead. So he&#39;s not um he&#39;s not an everyday name. But I love that Out Magazine put him as number three uh Dilf. Um and so right on Dennis O&#39;Hare and your beautiful son, and um I believe he doesn&#39;t even live in the United States anymore. I think he moved to Paris because he couldn&#39;t deal with all the bullshit. So anyway, Dennis O&#39;Hare, hey Dilf of the Week, we&#39;ll give you a shout-out, Dennis. All the way wherever you&#39;re living these days. And speaking of wherever we&#39;re living these days, it&#39;s the gay news. There&#39;s basically nothing out there. Except I dug something out at here, America&#39;s finest news source. Um, you know that the US government has is trying to erase, well, us, right? And at the Stonewall Monument, they have actually taken out the words LGBTQ plus and queer and replaced everything with thank God they haven&#39;t erased this, gay and lesbian. So they&#39;ve gone from expansive to just very, very narrow. And at least thank God, again, at the Stonewall Monument, they didn&#39;t take that out. But they also at one point tried to take the word bisexual out of any reference at the actual monument. But guess what? Those queens freaked out about it, and somehow, for some reason, the government stepped back and put um uh uh bisexual back in some of the references on the memorial. So, you know, the US government just slipped it back in like any good bisexual would. David: 11:58 You know what else I wished we could erase from the world? Do tell. Our top three list. Gavin: 12:03 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 12:08 All right, this is my really terrible idea for top three list, but I happened to be eating tacos that night, and I was thinking, listen, taco toppings are a hot button issue in our house. Some kids want all of them, some kids want none of them, some adults want some, and some people are allergic to this. So I thought, you know, what are your top three? What are the top three go-to taco toppings? Um, and as I curated my list, I realized um I&#39;m watching Gaben actively curate his list right now. Gavin: 12:32 No, no, no, no, mine is already, I already wrote it, but I am writing a note to myself. David: 12:36 Okay. Um, so I realized as I as I was ordering them, they are all kind of in the same category. So clearly I have a theme. Number three, basic bitch, but sour cream. I need a sour cream on that taco. Number two, very sour cream adjacent, spicy mayo. Like the Chipotle kind of like spicy sauce. Wow, you double down on your creaminess. Just wait. Just wait till number one, Game. And number one, it&#39;s it&#39;s the quintessential taco topping, but I don&#39;t think you can eat tacos without it. Guacamole or avocado. Gavin: 13:09 Okay. You just a bunch of cream on top of there. Okay. Yes. Uh, okay, okay. Well, for number three for me is an overlap. Sour cream. Love it. Number two, cilantro. Uh oh, you&#39;re what I&#39;m saying. I feel like yes, I feel like just a little bit of cilantro gives such a kick. And I really uh I love that because it gives me super Mexican vibes, I feel like. So I love that. Number one for me is sliced avocado because I feel like guacamole is so very, very disappointing that I just want like, you know, slices of avocado on there. However, if we&#39;re talking about a different kind of taco, i.e. Trump always chickens out, my number one topping is impeachment. David: 13:49 Yes. I want to top Trump with impeachment. I don&#39;t want to top Trump. Um, all right, what&#39;s next week? Give us a really good list. Gavin: 13:58 Next week, since it is still summer vibes and I tend to kind of just go there with the season, and because you just asked me three seconds ago, I think that next week&#39;s top three list, I want to know about your road tripping albums. Not individual...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is hairier than usual, Gavin neglects his pets, camp is in chaos, we rank the top 3 taco toppings, and this week we are joined by Matt Tolbert, who tells us how he got into the social media sphere, the journey of him expecting two kids by two surrogates at the same time, and we do a lightning round &#34;Pre-Parent Quiz&#34; which he fully passes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 You know who is not a good bisexual? You could have made that so much better. I know. That was really bad. That was Oh, did I fail? Do I is this a cold open? I mean is it my cold open? Gavin: 0:13 This is David, welcome. You&#39;re in very good company. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:18 I hate it. Gavin, I&#39;ve spent my entire life as a male and a homosexual. Oh. And I am experiencing something for the first time now, which is long hair in the house. Gavin: 0:44 Oh. Wait, you never had like female roommates at some point? You&#39;ve never lived with a woman? Well, my mom, but she always had short hair. David: 0:53 So like I am just like we&#39;re talking like long ponytail style. Gavin: 0:57 You never had a ponytail in your life? You never had a time in college where I didn&#39;t go through the ponytail phase in the state. You didn&#39;t? That was you. I thought. Hey, listen, I was the I was doing my ponytail best in the 90s, and it was, by the way, awesome. I&#39;m sure. David: 1:13 I did the fro thing when I did um when I was in college, I would tease, I had really curly hair and I would tease it out. It was like Justin Timberlake on steroids, and I like teased it out. God, I looked horrible. But anyway, I I I am now discovering hair in places. Like I&#39;m not used to that. And the other day, I&#39;m gonna get a little blue, everyone. I was wiping my butt. Gavin: 1:38 I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:39 And I said that I felt something that just didn&#39;t feel right. And as I like pulled the toy up, I could feel the like hair pulling against. And I was like, You had swallowed brain? No, I think it had just gotten in my under. You know what I mean? It&#39;s just gotten in the house or whatever. And so I don&#39;t like it. I don&#39;t like having this weird long hair everywhere. It cut it&#39;s ever it&#39;s so gross. So it&#39;s a new experience for me as a dad. Gavin: 2:06 That is it&#39;s pretty gross. I&#39;m not gonna lie, I&#39;m a little taken aback by that. Um, also that you&#39;ve never really experienced it. I mean, I had girl roommates in college a couple of times and had girlfriends a couple of times, and so you get hair in your butt. Because it was like in my butt. Never mind. It was in my butt. It&#39;s a completely different experience. I mean, even in my time. I&#39;ve talked about glitter in my kids&#39; diapers multiple times, but I never found I never found glitter in my own diaper. So you will someday. I will. Wouldn&#39;t that be a great thing to brag about? Well, you know they sell glitter pills. What? Yeah. David: 2:46 You can shit glitter? Yes. You can literally shit glitter. Gavin: 2:49 This episode, this episode brought to you by the shit glitter company. David: 2:54 But like, I wouldn&#39;t that be funny if we like slip that into like Nana&#39;s food and then just like let it like be like Nana thinks she&#39;s shitting gold. Gavin: 3:00 Listen, in New England where I live, nobody would say anything. They would just keep shitting glitter and nobody just like wipe that under the rug. Nobody&#39;s gonna talk about it because it makes you stand out and you&#39;re weird. Yeah. Uh there is wait, wait, wait. I&#39;m you floored me multiple times already, and we are only 15 minutes into this boring ass podcast. But there is shit glitter. Okay, anyway. Well, speaking of uh not any of that, well, kind of like pets and having to clean up after them. You have not entered the your childre]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is hairier than usual, Gavin neglects his pets, camp is in chaos, we rank the top 3 taco toppings, and this week we are joined by Matt Tolbert, who tells us how he got into the social media sphere, the journey of him expecting two kids by two surrogates at the same time, and we do a lightning round &#34;Pre-Parent Quiz&#34; which he fully passes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 You know who is not a good bisexual? You could have made that so much better. I know. That was really bad. That was Oh, did I fail? Do I is this a cold open? I mean is it my cold open? Gavin: 0:13 This is David, welcome. You&#39;re in very good company. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:18 I hate it. Gavin, I&#39;ve spent my entire life as a male and a homosexual. Oh. And I am experiencing something for the first time now, which is long hair in the house. Gavin: 0:44 ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with s3x coach Court Vox</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-s3x-coach-court-vox/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David and his daugher have a bedtime standoff, Gavin&apos;s daugther is suspicious, David gets tricked by the hot solar panel salesman, we rank the top 3 things to bring to a summer BBQ, and this week we are joined by somatic sex coach and fellow gay Dad Court Vox who talks to us about his journey into fatherhood, what he&apos;s learned by being a s3x coach, and how to clap back to someone who asks too personal of a question.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 But like you&#39;re just just every once in a while, you&#39;re like, and this is the number one list. There&#39;s just a little dip. There&#39;s just a a tiny little dip of diction that says Gavin&#39;s had a feel. And then this is Gage Rearkes. So you know how I uh I have a challenging daughter. Gavin: 0:35 Oh, she&#39;s beautiful. She&#39;s beautiful. That&#39;s all that matters. David: 0:40 It is all that matters in life is that you&#39;re skinny and rich. But and beautiful. And beautiful. Yes. Um, so we were having a night, and it was one of those like 45-minute temper tantrum at bed, running away from me, slamming doors. It was just like one of those. It&#39;s all your fault. It&#39;s all my fault, but it was just like one of those really I was losing my cool. She was gone into another dimension. Anyway, and it could, and you know, after I finally closed the door, it was like breaking out of the room. It was just nonstop. And it was excuse after excuse after excuse. It was like, um, um, I hit my lip on the thing. I need ice, I need a new water, I&#39;m my foot hurts. It was like all the things, right? Gavin: 1:18 Is your son just sleeping through all of this? David: 1:21 Sometimes he does, and sometimes he gets upset, honestly. And that&#39;s something that&#39;s one of like the real reasons I get annoyed. But anyway, so the night is going terribly, and she keeps saying, like, but I hit my lip and I did this. And I&#39;m like, stop it. You&#39;re making shit up. Go to bed. Like, I&#39;m like, just I&#39;ve had it. So I go to bed feeling guilty as usual, just replaying the night, and where could I have done better? And so I&#39;m like, all right, I&#39;m gonna get there in the morning and I&#39;m gonna tell her, Listen, you you were making stuff up, but I I really want you to do better and whatever. So I walk into the room and also I love you no matter what. And also I love you no matter what. So I walk into a room in the morning and I say, Hey, honey, I&#39;m here. And she sits up and she&#39;s got a giant cut on her lip, full of blood. She was telling the truth. And I said, Stop making shit up in the dark. I didn&#39;t even look for it, lay back down, and I closed the door. So for looking, if anybody out there is looking for worst father of the year, that would be Well, you&#39;ve come to the right podcast. Gavin: 2:25 Yeah, you&#39;ve come here to always know that you are better than us. We will always stand as examples of horrible parenting and um and dad dads of the year in the sarcastic sense, not the sincere sense. You know what this reminds me of? You might be ending your night, you might be ending your night with terrible dad behavior. Brought on by terrible daughter behavior. But I&#39;m starting my day with that because we are in the thick of summertime um camps and whatnot. And my daughter was asked to be a little like, I don&#39;t know, free labor helper at a uh summer camp for the last two weeks. And we&#39;ve been super proud of her because she seems to have stepped up and the teacher was like, she was so great. And she immediately was at my feet saying, Hey, what can I do next? What can I do next? And both my partner and I were like, Are we talking about the same child? Really? I mean, she&#39;s proactive and helpful and all the things, which reminds us that we who is the who are the assholes in this podcast? Obviously, your daughter and me. Yes, but yes, but not our children, or not my child. David: 3:35 Well, not our children. It it is it is especially their fault when they purposely do things right in an effort to piss us off because it was it was a deliberate measure on my daughter&#39;s part to purposely hit her. She was yeah, yeah. Gavin: 3:50 She she sabotaged your night and your mental health. 100%. David: 3:53 So does your daughter is trying to help to pull the rug out from you. Yeah. Gavin: 3:58 But she wakes up every single morning furious with the world. And we&#39;re not waking her up at 5 30 in the morning like we have to in the in the during the school year. We&#39;re we&#39;re going, we&#39;re pushing 8 05, 8.10 because we got to be out the door in 40 minutes. And um, man, I mean every single morning, every single morning. A, everything is our fault because we didn&#39;t, I don&#39;t know, fill up her water bottle. B, everything is our fault because we didn&#39;t make the lunch that she wanted. C, everything is our fault because we, I don&#39;t know, opened the door for her, but we did it too quickly. So she had to step back to it. It is, it is, it&#39;s exhausting. It&#39;s just exhausting. David: 4:41 So speaking of like cunning people and divisive people, yeah. So I am, this will surprise you, Gavin. Sit down. I am a bit of a curmudgeon when it comes to particular things in my life. One of them is a call out of nowhere from like a salesman. And then the other one is people knocking on my door to like sell me things, right? If you&#39;re if you&#39;re knocking on my door, does that happen still? Are these people selling encyclopedias? They&#39;re selling solar panels and they&#39;re selling suburbs. Yeah. So the the doorbell rings, and I&#39;m practicing choreography in the kitchen because that&#39;s what I do for my job. And I look out the window and I can see like a keep in mind my pride flag is out. That I should have done that to set up a story. There&#39;s a guy like a like a monogrammed polo who like walks back down the stairs and is standing by the street, and I was like, here we go. Here&#39;s another fucking douchey salesman, blah, blah, blah. So I so I walk out there and I open the door, and it&#39;s the most beautiful man I&#39;ve ever seen. Gavin: 5:42 And you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t even care what it is or how much it costs. David: 5:47 I&#39;m on my knees begging to buy this thing from you. But wait, so I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m like, no, no, no, don&#39;t talk to me. I don&#39;t like you. I I lie, you know, I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t own the house. Like, I&#39;m just I just want him gone, even though he&#39;s super hot. I don&#39;t speak anything. This motherfucker, and it&#39;s and it is hot out there, I will say, but this motherfucker, you know, like when guys will like lift their shirt up to wipe the sweat off their stunt, like their mouth to show you their stomach. This motherfucker pulls that move, and he&#39;s got the most incredible midsection I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. And then he continued to sales pitch me. I said, Bitch, you saw the pride flag, you heard me say, and you said, We&#39;re moving this to DEF CON. Yeah. And so I was obviously I wasn&#39;t interested in anything, but you know, so now we have solar panels, and um, no, but it was, but I I I I just I literally put it on the list to talk about things because I was like, what a genius move by a salesperson to go look at these faggots. They like dudes, I&#39;ve got great abs. Look at them, maybe they&#39;ll buy my shit. Honestly, I almost bought them. Gavin: 6:54 Did you did you get gay vibes from him? No at all. David: 6:58 Zero. I got I got the straight guy who who plays that card perfectly. Gavin: 7:03 Well done. And bravo, straight guy playing that card. David: 7:06 Bravo. Gavin: 7:06 Bravo. I remember being in my doctor&#39;s office years ago, and I feel like every single pharmaceutical rep, which he always had pharmaceutical reps coming into his office every single time I was there, which was frankly not frequently, but I assume that the pharmaceutical reps were there frequently, and they were all super hot dudes with undoubtedly abs. And they, I mean, they played the straight card very well. Who knows if they were or not, but yeah, you just never know. You just never know. That seems like an amazing dad hack, by the way, though. If you are a desperate seller of some sorts and you&#39;ve got abs, and who cares what your gender is, but go to the gaze and show them. You see that American flag and you go to, or excuse me, the you know, the pride flag and you go show your abs. David: 7:53 So for those of you out there who don&#39;t know, um, we&#39;re recording this about 11 hours before release because we have been so busy. And Gavin texted me before we we&#39;re recording at 8.19 p.m. the night before this is released. And Gavin texted me, goes, I will be drunk. And so so the slurring you hear is earnest. But what is what is also earnest is um our uh best friend and my future ex-wife Sam from the Baby Ready Um podcast DM&#39;d us the other day because she listened to the episode with Jamie Grayson, which was last week. And she sent me a DM and I want to read it to you because no, no, no, it&#39;s a good one. Okay. I want to uh read it. So she is also what they call a uh child restraint technician, is what they&#39;re called. It&#39;s like the safe safety specialist in Canada. Gavin: 8:38 Which is not the same as holding kids down while they&#39;re having temper tantrums, to be clear, right? David: 8:43 So she said, I wanted to add to the point that Jamie made today about car seat costs. Car seats are a hundred percent political, as you all talked about, but with the tariffs leading to increased costs, that makes them prohibitive. Sure, some may get them secondhand from sketchy sources, but more than that, I worry about the people who don&#39;t get them at all and hope to keep their baby safe, but not believing that they have another choice. Let&#39;s have politicians rally for keeping costs down, not pushing them up when it comes to making sure our children are safe. That&#39;s she&#39;s got a fucking point. She does. So, everyone go listen to the Baby Ready podcast. But also, Sam, you&#39;re totally right. And that&#39;s why we had Jamie on, and everything is political. Gavin: 9:26 Um I mean, sadly, I mean, I love that everything&#39;s political in the sense of like, I love politics, but everything affects your life. Yeah. Everything affects your life. But you know what&#39;s not political? David: 9:38 What? Gatriarchs. And tell us about your dad hack of the week, will you? Are you kidding me? This is the most political issue in the world. By the way, fuck Trump, every one of you who voted for him. I hope you die. All right. So um, my dad hack of the week, I realized as I was walking through my kitchen, I own it and I and it was something I stole from another parent, and it has saved me. If you&#39;re the dad, I am the dad who cooks all meals. So I&#39;m in charge of getting dinner ready, getting lunches ready, planning or whatever. And it just the Sunday comes around, you go, how many more times are we doing tacos and burgers? And like, like, what am I gonna do? And I went to a friend&#39;s house and they had one of these like magnetic menu boards with like chalk markers laid up against the fridge. And you know, all she wrote was like pizza, mac and cheese, like she, whatever. Just having it written down where it says Wednesday, we&#39;re doing this, and you can either plan to buy that stuff that day or whatever. It when I say hack, I mean it absolutely changed the stress level for me. Yeah, because I went, all right, I have everything we need from Monday through Thursday. For Friday, I&#39;m gonna need to get pork win or whatever. So I am encouraging all of you out there. It&#39;s I think it was$14 on Amazon. It&#39;s a magnetic um menu board and it has saved our family. And now, by that my kids can read, they look at the board every week and they start crying and complaining about what&#39;s on there. So it&#39;s a it&#39;s a lot of fun. Ahead of time. Ahead of time. Gavin: 10:56 So this episode was brought to you by the Amazon menu cork board. And uh please go buy one and then give us a donation of 57 cents. Um, uh so I was wondering though, until you talked about your kids learning to read and them crying ahead of time, I was thinking, wait, is this helping you or is it helping the kids? Because I gotta say, with a 13-year-old girl who does not still have a problem with, you know, change and surprises, I find myself needing to be able to write out her schedule for the entire week. And as long as she knows what&#39;s coming, she doesn&#39;t freak out. But surprises are not her jam. So maybe I need to turn this dad hack also not just into a menu board, but a like here&#39;s everything that&#39;s happening in your day board. Not just a calendar, but a like, you know, here&#39;s the reminder of this, that, and the other. David: 11:43 Yeah, for me, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s absolutely just for me. Only because, like, just to know what&#39;s like I because it not it&#39;s floating in my head, like I could make board shops tonight. It&#39;s like, no, this is what we&#39;re doing tonight. We have the stuff. Gavin: 11:54 It&#39;s really you plan in advance on Sundays and you know by Wednesday when your brain is completely fried. That&#39;s very helpful. I love that. I&#39;m adopting it. David: 12:01 All right. Gavin: 12:01 So guess what? There is absolutely no good news out in the world, but I found a couple of quick things, okay? So remember uh Donald Trump&#39;s oh god, we shouldn&#39;t even say his like he doesn&#39;t even deserve to be mentioned on this, does he? Okay, he who&#39;s Voldemort, Voldemort. Voldemort, Voldemort and his dumbass big Bafo bill, right? Well, guess what? Those fuckers tried to slide in some anti-trans legislation into the big bullshit bill, right? Yeah. But guess what? The Senate parliamentarian who, considering the fact that probably is a nonpartisan role, but you know, I don&#39;t know. The Senate parliamentarian who makes the senators abide by all of the rules and the traditions of the Senate said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this anti-trans action is actually violating the Byrd rule based upon West Virginia Senator Byrd, which says that all the reconciliation bills cannot be must be tied to finance. They can&#39;t have extraneous issues. So the parliamentarian was like, you can&#39;t squeeze a bunch of bullshit trans, anti-trans stuff into this big bullshit bill. And I just want to say, thank you, Senate parliamentarian, for um, you know, abiding by actual uh legal precedent. David: 13:16 So that&#39;s good news, I think. Is that the same as the Senate bottom? Is that the same guy? Uh the one who got fucked in that video. Remember? Sorry, did I did I mess you with your groove? I&#39;m trying to push us through. We gotta be done in three minutes. Gavin: 13:29 Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. Also, a judge dropped a bullshit case against an Illinois trans woman who was going to the bathroom in Florida and is believed to be the first one who first trans person who was arrested in Florida based upon their anti-trans bathroom bill. And but luckily, but listen, the judge threw it out and they&#39;re like, listen, you didn&#39;t cross all the T&#39;s and dot all the I&#39;s based on like, I don&#39;t know, filling out the nonsensical um uh paper uh um my god, Kevin. David: 13:55 This episode is released in like a 11 minutes, and you&#39;re and you&#39;re just sleeping. Gavin: 14:01 I don&#39;t know, the ticket they got. I don&#39;t know if they got a ticket in the bathroom or what, but nevertheless, the judge threw it out. So that&#39;s a good thing. And also, there&#39;s a sh uh back to Illinois, there&#39;s a Chicago eatery that had a pop-up spoofing Chick-fil-A, and what it was that they called it Chick-Feel Gay, and they were selling chicken sandwiches all over the city of um Chicago. And that is all good gay news, in my view. David: 14:25 You know what&#39;s not good...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David and his daugher have a bedtime standoff, Gavin&apos;s daugther is suspicious, David gets tricked by the hot solar panel salesman, we rank the top 3 things to bring to a summer BBQ, and this week we are joined by somatic sex coach and fel]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David and his daugher have a bedtime standoff, Gavin&apos;s daugther is suspicious, David gets tricked by the hot solar panel salesman, we rank the top 3 things to bring to a summer BBQ, and this week we are joined by somatic sex coach and fellow gay Dad Court Vox who talks to us about his journey into fatherhood, what he&apos;s learned by being a s3x coach, and how to clap back to someone who asks too personal of a question.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 But like you&#39;re just just every once in a while, you&#39;re like, and this is the number one list. There&#39;s just a little dip. There&#39;s just a a tiny little dip of diction that says Gavin&#39;s had a feel. And then this is Gage Rearkes. So you know how I uh I have a challenging daughter. Gavin: 0:35 Oh, she&#39;s beautiful. She&#39;s beautiful. That&#39;s all that matters. David: 0:40 It is all that matters in life is that you&#39;re skinny and rich. But and beautiful. And beautiful. Yes. Um, so we were having a night, and it was one of those like 45-minute temper tantrum at bed, running away from me, slamming doors. It was just like one of those. It&#39;s all your fault. It&#39;s all my fault, but it was just like one of those really I was losing my cool. She was gone into another dimension. Anyway, and it could, and you know, after I finally closed the door, it was like breaking out of the room. It was just nonstop. And it was excuse after excuse after excuse. It was like, um, um, I hit my lip on the thing. I need ice, I need a new water, I&#39;m my foot hurts. It was like all the things, right? Gavin: 1:18 Is your son just sleeping through all of this? David: 1:21 Sometimes he does, and sometimes he gets upset, honestly. And that&#39;s something that&#39;s one of like the real reasons I get annoyed. But anyway, so the night is going terribly, and she keeps saying, like, but I hit my lip and I did this. And I&#39;m like, stop it. You&#39;re making shit up. Go to bed. Like, I&#39;m like, just I&#39;ve had it. So I go to bed feeling guilty as usual, just replaying the night, and where could I have done better? And so I&#39;m like, all right, I&#39;m gonna get there in the morning and I&#39;m gonna tell her, Listen, you you were making stuff up, but I I really want you to do better and whatever. So I walk into the room and also I love you no matter what. And also I love you no matter what. So I walk into a room in the morning and I say, Hey, honey, I&#39;m here. And she sits up and she&#39;s got a giant cut on her lip, full of blood. She was telling the truth. And I said, Stop making shit up in the dark. I didn&#39;t even look for it, lay back down, and I closed the door. So for looking, if anybody out there is looking for worst father of the year, that would be Well, you&#39;ve come to the right podcast. Gavin: 2:25 Yeah, you&#39;ve come here to always know that you are better than us. We will always stand as examples of horrible parenting and um and dad dads of the year in the sarcastic sense, not the sincere sense. You know what this reminds me of? You might be ending your night, you might be ending your night with terrible dad behavior. Brought on by terrible daughter behavior. But I&#39;m starting my day with that because we are in the thick of summertime um camps and whatnot. And my daughter was asked to be a little like, I don&#39;t know, free labor helper at a uh summer camp for the last two weeks. And we&#39;ve been super proud of her because she seems to have stepped up and the teacher was like, she was so great. And she immediately was at my feet saying, Hey, what can I do next? What can I do next? And both my partner and I were like, Are we talking about the same child? Really? I mean, she&#39;s proactive and helpful and all the things, which reminds us that we who is the who are the assholes in this podcast? Obviously, your daughter and me. Yes, but yes, but not our children, or not my child. David: 3:35 Well, not our children. It it is it is especially their fault when they purposely do things right in an effort to piss us off because it was it was a deliberate measure on my daughter&#39;s part to purposely hit her. She was yeah, yeah. Gavin: 3:50 She she sabotaged your night and your mental health. 100%. David: 3:53 So does your daughter is trying to help to pull the rug out from you. Yeah. Gavin: 3:58 But she wakes up every single morning furious with the world. And we&#39;re not waking her up at 5 30 in the morning like we have to in the in the during the school year. We&#39;re we&#39;re going, we&#39;re pushing 8 05, 8.10 because we got to be out the door in 40 minutes. And um, man, I mean every single morning, every single morning. A, everything is our fault because we didn&#39;t, I don&#39;t know, fill up her water bottle. B, everything is our fault because we didn&#39;t make the lunch that she wanted. C, everything is our fault because we, I don&#39;t know, opened the door for her, but we did it too quickly. So she had to step back to it. It is, it is, it&#39;s exhausting. It&#39;s just exhausting. David: 4:41 So speaking of like cunning people and divisive people, yeah. So I am, this will surprise you, Gavin. Sit down. I am a bit of a curmudgeon when it comes to particular things in my life. One of them is a call out of nowhere from like a salesman. And then the other one is people knocking on my door to like sell me things, right? If you&#39;re if you&#39;re knocking on my door, does that happen still? Are these people selling encyclopedias? They&#39;re selling solar panels and they&#39;re selling suburbs. Yeah. So the the doorbell rings, and I&#39;m practicing choreography in the kitchen because that&#39;s what I do for my job. And I look out the window and I can see like a keep in mind my pride flag is out. That I should have done that to set up a story. There&#39;s a guy like a like a monogrammed polo who like walks back down the stairs and is standing by the street, and I was like, here we go. Here&#39;s another fucking douchey salesman, blah, blah, blah. So I so I walk out there and I open the door, and it&#39;s the most beautiful man I&#39;ve ever seen. Gavin: 5:42 And you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t even care what it is or how much it costs. David: 5:47 I&#39;m on my knees begging to buy this thing from you. But wait, so I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m like, no, no, no, don&#39;t talk to me. I don&#39;t like you. I I lie, you know, I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t own the house. Like, I&#39;m just I just want him gone, even though he&#39;s super hot. I don&#39;t speak anything. This motherfucker, and it&#39;s and it is hot out there, I will say, but this motherfucker, you know, like when guys will like lift their shirt up to wipe the sweat off their stunt, like their mouth to show you their stomach. This motherfucker pulls that move, and he&#39;s got the most incredible midsection I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. And then he continued to sales pitch me. I said, Bitch, you saw the pride flag, you heard me say, and you said, We&#39;re moving this to DEF CON. Yeah. And so I was obviously I wasn&#39;t interested in anything, but you know, so now we have solar panels, and um, no, but it was, but I I I I just I literally put it on the list to talk about things because I was like, what a genius move by a salesperson to go look at these faggots. They like dudes, I&#39;ve got great abs. Look at them, maybe they&#39;ll buy my shit. Honestly, I almost bought them. Gavin: 6:54 Did you did you get gay vibes from him? No at all. David: 6:58 Zero. I got I got the straight guy who who plays that card perfectly. Gavin: 7:03 Well done. And bravo, straight guy playing that card. David: 7:06 Bravo. Gavin: 7:06 Bravo. I remember being in my doctor&#39;s office years ago, and I feel like every single pharmaceutical rep, which he always had pharmaceutical reps coming into his office every single time I was there, which was frankly not frequently, but I assume that the pharmaceutical reps were there frequently, and they were all super hot dudes with undoubtedly abs. And they, I mean, they played the straight card very well. Who knows if they were or not, but yeah, you just never know. You just never know. That seems like an amazing dad hack, by the way, though. If you are a desperate seller of some sorts and you&#39;ve got abs, and who cares what your gender is, but go to the gaze and show them. You see that American flag and you go to, or excuse me, the you know, the pride flag and you go show your abs. David: 7:53 So for those of you out there who don&#39;t know, um, we&#39;re recording this about 11 hours before release because we have been so busy. And Gavin texted me before we we&#39;re recording at 8.19 p.m. the night before this is released. And Gavin texted me, goes, I will be drunk. And so so the slurring you hear is earnest. But what is what is also earnest is um our uh best friend and my future ex-wife Sam from the Baby Ready Um podcast DM&#39;d us the other day because she listened to the episode with Jamie Grayson, which was last week. And she sent me a DM and I want to read it to you because no, no, no, it&#39;s a good one. Okay. I want to uh read it. So she is also what they call a uh child restraint technician, is what they&#39;re called. It&#39;s like the safe safety specialist in Canada. Gavin: 8:38 Which is not the same as holding kids down while they&#39;re having temper tantrums, to be clear, right? David: 8:43 So she said, I wanted to add to the point that Jamie made today about car seat costs. Car seats are a hundred percent political, as you all talked about, but with the tariffs leading to increased costs, that makes them prohibitive. Sure, some may get them secondhand from sketchy sources, but more than that, I worry about the people who don&#39;t get them at all and hope to keep their baby safe, but not believing that they have another choice. Let&#39;s have politicians rally for keeping costs down, not pushing them up when it comes to making sure our children are safe. That&#39;s she&#39;s got a fucking point. She does. So, everyone go listen to the Baby Ready podcast. But also, Sam, you&#39;re totally right. And that&#39;s why we had Jamie on, and everything is political. Gavin: 9:26 Um I mean, sadly, I mean, I love that everything&#39;s political in the sense of like, I love politics, but everything affects your life. Yeah. Everything affects your life. But you know what&#39;s not political? David: 9:38 What? Gatriarchs. And tell us about your dad hack of the week, will you? Are you kidding me? This is the most political issue in the world. By the way, fuck Trump, every one of you who voted for him. I hope you die. All right. So um, my dad hack of the week, I realized as I was walking through my kitchen, I own it and I and it was something I stole from another parent, and it has saved me. If you&#39;re the dad, I am the dad who cooks all meals. So I&#39;m in charge of getting dinner ready, getting lunches ready, planning or whatever. And it just the Sunday comes around, you go, how many more times are we doing tacos and burgers? And like, like, what am I gonna do? And I went to a friend&#39;s house and they had one of these like magnetic menu boards with like chalk markers laid up against the fridge. And you know, all she wrote was like pizza, mac and cheese, like she, whatever. Just having it written down where it says Wednesday, we&#39;re doing this, and you can either plan to buy that stuff that day or whatever. It when I say hack, I mean it absolutely changed the stress level for me. Yeah, because I went, all right, I have everything we need from Monday through Thursday. For Friday, I&#39;m gonna need to get pork win or whatever. So I am encouraging all of you out there. It&#39;s I think it was$14 on Amazon. It&#39;s a magnetic um menu board and it has saved our family. And now, by that my kids can read, they look at the board every week and they start crying and complaining about what&#39;s on there. So it&#39;s a it&#39;s a lot of fun. Ahead of time. Ahead of time. Gavin: 10:56 So this episode was brought to you by the Amazon menu cork board. And uh please go buy one and then give us a donation of 57 cents. Um, uh so I was wondering though, until you talked about your kids learning to read and them crying ahead of time, I was thinking, wait, is this helping you or is it helping the kids? Because I gotta say, with a 13-year-old girl who does not still have a problem with, you know, change and surprises, I find myself needing to be able to write out her schedule for the entire week. And as long as she knows what&#39;s coming, she doesn&#39;t freak out. But surprises are not her jam. So maybe I need to turn this dad hack also not just into a menu board, but a like here&#39;s everything that&#39;s happening in your day board. Not just a calendar, but a like, you know, here&#39;s the reminder of this, that, and the other. David: 11:43 Yeah, for me, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s absolutely just for me. Only because, like, just to know what&#39;s like I because it not it&#39;s floating in my head, like I could make board shops tonight. It&#39;s like, no, this is what we&#39;re doing tonight. We have the stuff. Gavin: 11:54 It&#39;s really you plan in advance on Sundays and you know by Wednesday when your brain is completely fried. That&#39;s very helpful. I love that. I&#39;m adopting it. David: 12:01 All right. Gavin: 12:01 So guess what? There is absolutely no good news out in the world, but I found a couple of quick things, okay? So remember uh Donald Trump&#39;s oh god, we shouldn&#39;t even say his like he doesn&#39;t even deserve to be mentioned on this, does he? Okay, he who&#39;s Voldemort, Voldemort. Voldemort, Voldemort and his dumbass big Bafo bill, right? Well, guess what? Those fuckers tried to slide in some anti-trans legislation into the big bullshit bill, right? Yeah. But guess what? The Senate parliamentarian who, considering the fact that probably is a nonpartisan role, but you know, I don&#39;t know. The Senate parliamentarian who makes the senators abide by all of the rules and the traditions of the Senate said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this anti-trans action is actually violating the Byrd rule based upon West Virginia Senator Byrd, which says that all the reconciliation bills cannot be must be tied to finance. They can&#39;t have extraneous issues. So the parliamentarian was like, you can&#39;t squeeze a bunch of bullshit trans, anti-trans stuff into this big bullshit bill. And I just want to say, thank you, Senate parliamentarian, for um, you know, abiding by actual uh legal precedent. David: 13:16 So that&#39;s good news, I think. Is that the same as the Senate bottom? Is that the same guy? Uh the one who got fucked in that video. Remember? Sorry, did I did I mess you with your groove? I&#39;m trying to push us through. We gotta be done in three minutes. Gavin: 13:29 Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. Also, a judge dropped a bullshit case against an Illinois trans woman who was going to the bathroom in Florida and is believed to be the first one who first trans person who was arrested in Florida based upon their anti-trans bathroom bill. And but luckily, but listen, the judge threw it out and they&#39;re like, listen, you didn&#39;t cross all the T&#39;s and dot all the I&#39;s based on like, I don&#39;t know, filling out the nonsensical um uh paper uh um my god, Kevin. David: 13:55 This episode is released in like a 11 minutes, and you&#39;re and you&#39;re just sleeping. Gavin: 14:01 I don&#39;t know, the ticket they got. I don&#39;t know if they got a ticket in the bathroom or what, but nevertheless, the judge threw it out. So that&#39;s a good thing. And also, there&#39;s a sh uh back to Illinois, there&#39;s a Chicago eatery that had a pop-up spoofing Chick-fil-A, and what it was that they called it Chick-Feel Gay, and they were selling chicken sandwiches all over the city of um Chicago. And that is all good gay news, in my view. David: 14:25 You know what&#39;s not good...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David and his daugher have a bedtime standoff, Gavin&apos;s daugther is suspicious, David gets tricked by the hot solar panel salesman, we rank the top 3 things to bring to a summer BBQ, and this week we are joined by somatic sex coach and fellow gay Dad Court Vox who talks to us about his journey into fatherhood, what he&apos;s learned by being a s3x coach, and how to clap back to someone who asks too personal of a question.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 But like you&#39;re just just every once in a while, you&#39;re like, and this is the number one list. There&#39;s just a little dip. There&#39;s just a a tiny little dip of diction that says Gavin&#39;s had a feel. And then this is Gage Rearkes. So you know how I uh I have a challenging daughter. Gavin: 0:35 Oh, she&#39;s beautiful. She&#39;s beautiful. That&#39;s all that matters. David: 0:40 It is all that matters in life is that you&#39;re skinny and rich. But and beautiful. And beautiful. Yes. Um, so we were having a night, and it was one of those like 45-minute temper tantrum at bed, running away from me, slamming doors. It was just like one of those. It&#39;s all your fault. It&#39;s all my fault, but it was just like one of those really I was losing my cool. She was gone into another dimension. Anyway, and it could, and you know, after I finally closed the door, it was like breaking out of the room. It was just nonstop. And it was excuse after excuse after excuse. It was like, um, um, I hit my lip on the thing. I need ice, I need a new water, I&#39;m my foot hurts. It was like all the things, right? Gavin: 1:18 Is your son just sleeping through all of this? David: 1:21 Sometimes he does, and sometimes he gets upset, honestly. And that&#39;s something that&#39;s one of like the real reasons I get annoyed. But anyway, so the night is going terribly, and she keeps saying, like, but I hit my lip and I did this. And I&#39;m like, stop it. You&#39;re making shit up. Go to bed. Like, I&#39;m like, just I&#39;ve had it. So I go to bed feeling guilty as usual, just replaying the night, and where could I have done better? And so I&#39;m like, all right, I&#39;m gonna get there in the morning and I&#39;m gonna tell her, Listen, you you were making stuff up, but I I really want you to do better and whatever. So I walk into the room and also I love you no matter what. And also I love you no matter what. So I walk into a room in the morning and I say, Hey, honey, I&#39;m here. And she sits up and she&#39;s got a giant cut on her lip, full of blood. She was telling the truth. And I said, Stop making shit up in the dark. I didn&#39;t even look for it, lay back down, and I closed the door. So for looking, if anybody out there is looking for worst father of the year, that would be Well, you&#39;ve come to the right podcast. Gavin: 2:25 Yeah, you&#39;ve come here to always know that you are better than us. We will always stand as examples of horrible parenting and um and dad dads of the year in the sarcastic sense, not the sincere sense. You know what this reminds me of? You might be ending your night, you might be ending your night with terrible dad behavior. Brought on by terrible daughter behavior. But I&#39;m starting my day with that because we are in the thick of summertime um camps and whatnot. And my daughter was asked to be a little like, I don&#39;t know, free labor helper at a uh summer camp for the last two weeks. And we&#39;ve been super proud of her because she seems to have stepped up and the teacher was like, she was so great. And she immediately was at my feet saying, Hey, what can I do next? What can I do next? And both my partner and I were like, Are we talking about the same child? Really? I mean, she&#39;s proactive and helpful and all the things, which reminds us that we who is the who are the assholes in this podcast? Obviousl]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David and his daugher have a bedtime standoff, Gavin&apos;s daugther is suspicious, David gets tricked by the hot solar panel salesman, we rank the top 3 things to bring to a summer BBQ, and this week we are joined by somatic sex coach and fellow gay Dad Court Vox who talks to us about his journey into fatherhood, what he&apos;s learned by being a s3x coach, and how to clap back to someone who asks too personal of a question.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 But like you&#39;re just just every once in a while, you&#39;re like, and this is the number one list. There&#39;s just a little dip. There&#39;s just a a tiny little dip of diction that says Gavin&#39;s had a feel. And then this is Gage Rearkes. So you know how I uh I have a challenging daughter. Gavin: 0:35 Oh, she&#39;s beautiful. She&#39;s beautiful. That&#39;s all that matters. David: 0:40 It]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Jamie Grayson, Part Deux!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jamie-grayson-part-deux/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, as he updates us on the status of the baby gear industry, what baby gear you should and shoudln&apos;t buy used, and what it&apos;s like being ghosted in Denver. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests,]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, as he updates us on the status of the baby gear industry, what baby gear you should and shoudln&apos;t buy used, and what it&apos;s like being ghosted in Denver. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, as he updates us on the status of the baby gear industry, what baby gear you should and shoudln&apos;t buy used, and what it&apos;s like being ghosted in Denver. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, as he updates us on the status of the baby gear industry, what baby gear you should and shoudln&apos;t buy used, and what it&apos;s like being ghosted in Denver. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with serial ampersand Justin Bohon</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-serial-ampersand-justin-bohon/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 25 Jun 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-17383504</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK&apos;s in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with &#34;DILF Island,&#34; we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersand Justin Bohon, husband of previous guest Stephen Oremus, who talks to us about his previous life as a casting director, his current life as a gym owner, and and how being an actor prepared him for his life&apos;s ups and downs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast And THIS SATURDAY, June 28th, we are meeting at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park from 9am-12pm. Please come by and join us! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And his name is at its Luke underscore seven. And this guy basically you know what? Hold on. Shall I just demonstrate it&#39;s at Luke because it&#39;ll be it&#39;ll be better that way? I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about, Kavan. You&#39;re right. This is none of the things. David: 0:21 Are you gonna say a sentence with your finished? Are you gonna finish the sentence? The sentence. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:43 So, David, I know that this is an audio and not a visual platform, but do you see where I am? David: 0:51 You are in the backseat of a car, which is where I became gay. Gavin: 0:58 If only I were here for that purpose. I&#39;m recording from the backseat of my car because this is the only place I could actually get cell phone reception and a quiet place, basically. Because I&#39;m in Eagle Butte, South Dakota. Please uh Google that. I am truly, truly in the middle of nowhere. I uh but the reason I&#39;m here is I&#39;ve been wanting to regale you for days. There have been many, many times that I&#39;m like, oh my god, I&#39;ve got to talk about this on Gatriarchs. Because um, so as I&#39;ve sort of mentioned before, I uh take my kids to a church. We are part of a church community that let me make all the disclaimers, not that I should ever feel defensive about having like some spiritual connection, but uh it&#39;s not about religion, it&#39;s about community, frankly, and like showing my kids that there&#39;s a broader world out there. And guess what? We are showing them there&#39;s a broader world out there because we are in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, where we had basically a cultural exchange with um uh uh a Lakota tribe, a Lakota Indian Reservation, a very, very, very small town nestled within the Cheyenne River Reservation is actually the name of the reservation. And um, so we&#39;ve spent the weekend with um a bunch of families who are Lakota uh tribe, and it has been a lot of eye-opening stuff, particularly for my kids, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:17 Are we supposed to say Indian still? Aren&#39;t we supposed to say Native American? They listen. Or do they no, no, but I legitimately am asking because like sometimes they do they say Indian? Gavin: 2:28 I&#39;m laughing because of the how many layers of do we say, do they, and theying and othering and everything. David: 2:35 The white guilt is taking over me, yeah. Gavin: 2:37 Absolutely. I totally understand that. 100%. Now, listen, I will say it&#39;s safe space, right? And we&#39;re not in danger of being canceled because nobody listens to this podcast anyway. But they say, the Lakota people, they say Indian constantly. So yes, I think that it is okay to say Indian, but I you will hear me defaulting to Lakota a lot, and I appreciate that they innocent. David: 3:01 It&#39;s the accent for me that you&#39;re doing the light, like the 20%, the 20% accent that you&#39;re giving me, which is like which is arguably not racist enough, but really tiptoeing up to the line. I just want to tell you. Gavin: 3:15 I am trying. They they the the Lakota people, what they just always they they have such a you know, when you hear Native Americans speak Gavin. When you hear them speak, they have that a cadence that you really like. And I don&#39;t know, I&#39;m trying to respect how they say their name instead of just lazily saying Lakota. David: 3:40 It&#39;s fun to watch you it&#39;s just fun to watch you squirm in the backseat of a rental. It&#39;s just real fun to watch. Gavin: 3:46 Anyway. Anyway. Well, so I have a funny story about it. So over the last two days, we have spent time with this uh this very, very small hamlet. I mean eight houses, literally, and they have a little community center. And I&#39;m celebrating this apparently 40 years that uh that obviously precedes my time in this community. And we made uh they the the the community made food for us. They made all the food for us. They eat Indian tacos. Uh, would you like to know what an Indian taco consists of? I would love to know. It&#39;s a disc of fried bread. Sort of like a donut but no sugar, I guess. Disc of fried bread with taco toppings on top of it. Sometimes with nachos. So basically, listen to this heaven. You&#39;re eating nachos on top of fried bread, on top of a donut. David: 4:33 It&#39;s kind of like an open-faced like Gordita. Like, it&#39;s fried bread. Oh, wait a minute. A Gordita is, it&#39;s not just like Oh no, fried is chalupa. So it&#39;s like an open-faced cholupa. Gavin: 4:45 Very, yeah, very thick, thick chalupa. Yeah, that&#39;s a way of saying it. And then we um so they made it for us, celebrating us being there. We&#39;re like, yo, we can cook for you. That&#39;s totally fine. Which we were planning on doing. We went to the grocery store, we got a bunch of food, we cooked for them one night and they cooked for us the next. And then that was followed by um karaoke, which was very exciting because it was this woman who has probably been doing karaoke, uh hosting it for the last 62 years, and um, she had speakers and she had like six microphones, and she loves to sing her like Patsy Klein hits of the 1960s. Um it was it was a lot, it was a it was a big culture exchange. So anyway, my daughter, I am very, very, very, very proud of. She stepped up to the plate to um entertain the kids. There were about five or six kids, all around like 10 and 13 years old, that she was like the Pied Piper with them. And um I it was I was I have to say, I was really, really proud of her stepping up and um being her best self. And she really took the leadership position on. So anyway, one uh day we&#39;re sitting around and one of the girls is trying to sell me a bracelet, and she&#39;s saying, Hey, Mr. Man, buy this bracelet from me. And I&#39;m like, I held back from saying, uh, is there a please with that? Or some kind of charm of any kind. And I was just like, Well, wait a minute, could you do you think we can make beads together? Could we make bracelets together? And she&#39;s like, Well, I need beads, and I&#39;m like, Well, shit, let&#39;s I&#39;ll go buy you some beads. Let&#39;s go buy beads and turn this into a you know, bracelet making situation. So I um took all of these girls in the car. There were five um Lakota girls, you&#39;re welcome, and two uh my daughter and her friend, and we drove to the bead shop, which was closed in Eagle Butte, unfortunately. So then I&#39;m like, well shit, we should just go to Dairy Queen, because there is a Dairy Queen here, and it is I mean, there&#39;s two restaurants in this town, a subway and a Dairy Queen. We&#39;ve eaten it both. David: 6:46 Honestly, that covers all your major food. Gavin: 6:48 Like, I&#39;m I&#39;m okay with those two options. Yeah. So we&#39;re driving to Dairy Queen. Excuse me. We&#39;re at Dairy Queen. Um, where I&#39;m like, just uh order what you want. I mean, I don&#39;t feel like dropping 50 bucks at Dairy Queen is ever something that I uh intend to do, but you know, this is a special case. So we&#39;re driving back, and these girls we are screaming um a Nicki Minaj. I I don&#39;t know what kind of influence my kids are being on those kids, but um screaming Nicki Minaj, and they knew other lyrics too. Talk about a universal unifier is um, you know, pop music. So they were screaming all the same songs together. And then one girl says, Where&#39;s your wife? And my daughter goes, my daughter goes, he doesn&#39;t have a wife, he has a husband. David: 7:34 And I mean And the car just slams to a stop. Gavin: 7:38 Yes, silence, yes, dust just kicked up in the air. Yes, the proverbial um needle scratches off the record, and and they&#39;re like, and the girl&#39;s response was, oh hell no. Oh no. David: 7:54 And I&#39;m like, and I&#39;m like to yank that fucking McFlurry out of their hands. Gavin: 8:00 I I had a moment there being like, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I mean, yeah, I just couldn&#39;t believe that my daughter was the one who shouted this. And I&#39;m glad. Obviously, I&#39;m glad that she didn&#39;t have any compulsion about doing so, but I was like, I wasn&#39;t really ready. Yet, when are you ready to suddenly out yourself to a bunch of people who are like, what? David: 8:22 So you know, in a probably unsafe area that you feel unsafe in. I mean, so what did you do? Gavin: 8:28 Might be. I mean, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s exactly MAGA out here. I think they I think the look I think the Lakota people tend to be Democrats if they&#39;re voting. I mean, I know that the Democrats court the native vote more than the Republicans do. Anyway, I mean, okay, so I&#39;m driving and suddenly it&#39;s a little silent and awkward, and I&#39;m like, well, right, well, uh, right, well, have you heard the term to spirit? And they&#39;re like, no. I&#39;m like, well, you know, it&#39;s uh, you know, it&#39;s another You&#39;re like, that&#39;s your people&#39;s thing. Yeah. And they&#39;re like, your people. You&#39;re like this just digging a hole, digging a hole, digging a hole. I&#39;m like, you know, it&#39;s the it&#39;s the it&#39;s an Indian term. Two spirit? No. Well, yeah. I mean, I know, I know I know Native people. No. Well, you know what gay means. And they&#39;re like, yeah. I&#39;m like, well, guilty. And they&#39;re like, oh, and immediately whispering amongst themselves, whispering, whispering, whispering. And then one of the girls shouts to her friends, you know what I want to know? How&#39;d he get her? Pointing to my daughter. I&#39;m like, oh shit, this is this is just all opening up. So I&#39;m like, uh, well, and I&#39;m just thinking, like, how much do I need to explain here? Do I need to jerk do I need to explain jerking off into a Dixie cup in a bathroom? David: 9:51 No, probably not. Losing it and then having to go back and do it again, like the whole story? Gavin: 9:58 Yeah. I said, so I said, I have a friend who can&#39;t who who had my daughter in her belly, and they were like, oh. And from the back, a little girl goes, You mean like a surrogate? Like, and that was it. And then then, then, then that was the end of the discussion. David: 10:18 You&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re better than I am. I would have slammed the brakes. I&#39;d say, get the fuck out of the car. You&#39;re gonna say ew or whatever they said. No, not interested. But I get like that, like this is probably their first exposure to any real gay parent in their entire lives. Gavin: 10:31 I felt like I this is a moment to be an ambassador, and if they suddenly don&#39;t like me or whatever, which which of course they didn&#39;t care. They didn&#39;t say anything to me. They just kept trying to sell me bracelets, and that is not an exaggeration. They did. SPEAKER_01: 10:42 Yeah. Gavin: 10:43 Um, but it was funny that when we dropped them off from our nighttime Dairy Queen um run last night, my daughter was debriefing with her two friends, and they all came to my defense and they said, We couldn&#39;t believe they said that to you. I&#39;m like, what are you talking about? And I it&#39;s kind of like a little bit of offended anger came out after the fact. My daughter, I know she was having a great time, but she said that um she was pissed that they said hell no. And I was like, when she said, Ah, hell no. I was like, Girls, it&#39;s it&#39;s it it that is the least of our concerns. And I was not offended by that. It&#39;s fine. David: 11:18 But it&#39;s but it well, you should have been, but we&#39;re not offended because we hear way worse more often. But also, it&#39;s nice that like they came to your like and also honestly, just exposure for them to see like, no, no, no, we are in a safe liberal bubble wherever we live, and everyone knows us and everything is fine. But this is actually what we kind of have to deal with. And so, yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s interesting. I would have taken, I would have taken those blizzards out of their hands, I would have thrown them out the window. I was like, now what do you think about gay parents? I would have said this is why I should never be an ambassador for anything. Ever. Gavin: 11:51 Well, unfortunately, also though, I I I do think we left the the impression that listen, rich, I am not. That is for sure. Let me count the ways that I am struggling in all the ways. But obviously, and my daughter is like, I wish we were rich. I wish we were rich. But um, but obviously in comparison, I mean, I was the I was the fag who showed up, drove them in a really nice car to Dairy Queen two night two days in a row and bought-just laid your credit card down. Laid that credit card down, thinking to myself, oh fuck, I hope I&#39;m able to cover the$65 next month. But whatever. Uh it it&#39;s I have no problems in comparison to these kids. So I was glad to get them their blizzards and not be an asshole like David Vaughn would have been in the moment. David: 12:35 I would have totally been an asshole. And that is a really good transition to this topic, which is disciplining other people&#39;s kids in public. Gavin: 12:44 Your favorite thing. David: 12:45 Well, I mean, my question is like, do you do it? Because I have found a lot recently, either at kids&#39; birthday parties or playgrounds or these like kind of semi-public spaces where like your kids are interacting with other kids and like something happens and their parent is not around. Right. I&#39;m not talking about like if their parents are there or whatever, but like if if my daughter&#39;s holding a ball and the kid walks up and just like grabs the ball out of her hand, she starts crying. Do you say something? I for sure I have no problem disciplining other people. I&#39;ll be like, or like somebody will come up to me like I want that ice cream. I&#39;ll be like, first of all, the word please. This is like when you were talking, I was like, this is a perfect segue. Second of all, the answer is no, Clayton, or whatever your name is. So, like, I would that&#39;s my my question is like, do you discipline strangers, kids in public if they do something in front of you? Gavin: 13:35 Absolutely. I think that, um, I think that it takes a village. Hillary Clinton knew it. It takes a village. We&#39;ve got to be able to pipe up once in a while. And also, don&#39;t you have so much trauma as a child of having some kid dis some parent discipline you on a playground when you made a bad choice and you do not forget that shit, right? So even though you&#39;re looking back in your the recesses of your pea brain and thinking that person was such a jerk to me, but you do not forget what you did or or the fact that they disciplined you. And listen, over the last couple of days, there were a couple of times that I was like, can I hear please with that? Or I mean, there was a I mubbed, muttered under my breath as we walked out of Dairy Queen last night. Sure would be nice to hear thank you. But I kept that to myself. I kept that to myself. David: 14:22 I will never forget my neighbor who was uh my best friend at the time. We were at his house and his mom yelled at me and put me in a timeout in their like reclining chair in their living room. I was fuming. I was like, you bitch, you&#39;re not my mom. How dare you think that I also was like taking the time out. But like I still think about that....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK&apos;s in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with &#34;DILF Island,&#34; we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersa]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK&apos;s in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with &#34;DILF Island,&#34; we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersand Justin Bohon, husband of previous guest Stephen Oremus, who talks to us about his previous life as a casting director, his current life as a gym owner, and and how being an actor prepared him for his life&apos;s ups and downs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast And THIS SATURDAY, June 28th, we are meeting at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park from 9am-12pm. Please come by and join us! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And his name is at its Luke underscore seven. And this guy basically you know what? Hold on. Shall I just demonstrate it&#39;s at Luke because it&#39;ll be it&#39;ll be better that way? I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about, Kavan. You&#39;re right. This is none of the things. David: 0:21 Are you gonna say a sentence with your finished? Are you gonna finish the sentence? The sentence. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:43 So, David, I know that this is an audio and not a visual platform, but do you see where I am? David: 0:51 You are in the backseat of a car, which is where I became gay. Gavin: 0:58 If only I were here for that purpose. I&#39;m recording from the backseat of my car because this is the only place I could actually get cell phone reception and a quiet place, basically. Because I&#39;m in Eagle Butte, South Dakota. Please uh Google that. I am truly, truly in the middle of nowhere. I uh but the reason I&#39;m here is I&#39;ve been wanting to regale you for days. There have been many, many times that I&#39;m like, oh my god, I&#39;ve got to talk about this on Gatriarchs. Because um, so as I&#39;ve sort of mentioned before, I uh take my kids to a church. We are part of a church community that let me make all the disclaimers, not that I should ever feel defensive about having like some spiritual connection, but uh it&#39;s not about religion, it&#39;s about community, frankly, and like showing my kids that there&#39;s a broader world out there. And guess what? We are showing them there&#39;s a broader world out there because we are in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, where we had basically a cultural exchange with um uh uh a Lakota tribe, a Lakota Indian Reservation, a very, very, very small town nestled within the Cheyenne River Reservation is actually the name of the reservation. And um, so we&#39;ve spent the weekend with um a bunch of families who are Lakota uh tribe, and it has been a lot of eye-opening stuff, particularly for my kids, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:17 Are we supposed to say Indian still? Aren&#39;t we supposed to say Native American? They listen. Or do they no, no, but I legitimately am asking because like sometimes they do they say Indian? Gavin: 2:28 I&#39;m laughing because of the how many layers of do we say, do they, and theying and othering and everything. David: 2:35 The white guilt is taking over me, yeah. Gavin: 2:37 Absolutely. I totally understand that. 100%. Now, listen, I will say it&#39;s safe space, right? And we&#39;re not in danger of being canceled because nobody listens to this podcast anyway. But they say, the Lakota people, they say Indian constantly. So yes, I think that it is okay to say Indian, but I you will hear me defaulting to Lakota a lot, and I appreciate that they innocent. David: 3:01 It&#39;s the accent for me that you&#39;re doing the light, like the 20%, the 20% accent that you&#39;re giving me, which is like which is arguably not racist enough, but really tiptoeing up to the line. I just want to tell you. Gavin: 3:15 I am trying. They they the the Lakota people, what they just always they they have such a you know, when you hear Native Americans speak Gavin. When you hear them speak, they have that a cadence that you really like. And I don&#39;t know, I&#39;m trying to respect how they say their name instead of just lazily saying Lakota. David: 3:40 It&#39;s fun to watch you it&#39;s just fun to watch you squirm in the backseat of a rental. It&#39;s just real fun to watch. Gavin: 3:46 Anyway. Anyway. Well, so I have a funny story about it. So over the last two days, we have spent time with this uh this very, very small hamlet. I mean eight houses, literally, and they have a little community center. And I&#39;m celebrating this apparently 40 years that uh that obviously precedes my time in this community. And we made uh they the the the community made food for us. They made all the food for us. They eat Indian tacos. Uh, would you like to know what an Indian taco consists of? I would love to know. It&#39;s a disc of fried bread. Sort of like a donut but no sugar, I guess. Disc of fried bread with taco toppings on top of it. Sometimes with nachos. So basically, listen to this heaven. You&#39;re eating nachos on top of fried bread, on top of a donut. David: 4:33 It&#39;s kind of like an open-faced like Gordita. Like, it&#39;s fried bread. Oh, wait a minute. A Gordita is, it&#39;s not just like Oh no, fried is chalupa. So it&#39;s like an open-faced cholupa. Gavin: 4:45 Very, yeah, very thick, thick chalupa. Yeah, that&#39;s a way of saying it. And then we um so they made it for us, celebrating us being there. We&#39;re like, yo, we can cook for you. That&#39;s totally fine. Which we were planning on doing. We went to the grocery store, we got a bunch of food, we cooked for them one night and they cooked for us the next. And then that was followed by um karaoke, which was very exciting because it was this woman who has probably been doing karaoke, uh hosting it for the last 62 years, and um, she had speakers and she had like six microphones, and she loves to sing her like Patsy Klein hits of the 1960s. Um it was it was a lot, it was a it was a big culture exchange. So anyway, my daughter, I am very, very, very, very proud of. She stepped up to the plate to um entertain the kids. There were about five or six kids, all around like 10 and 13 years old, that she was like the Pied Piper with them. And um I it was I was I have to say, I was really, really proud of her stepping up and um being her best self. And she really took the leadership position on. So anyway, one uh day we&#39;re sitting around and one of the girls is trying to sell me a bracelet, and she&#39;s saying, Hey, Mr. Man, buy this bracelet from me. And I&#39;m like, I held back from saying, uh, is there a please with that? Or some kind of charm of any kind. And I was just like, Well, wait a minute, could you do you think we can make beads together? Could we make bracelets together? And she&#39;s like, Well, I need beads, and I&#39;m like, Well, shit, let&#39;s I&#39;ll go buy you some beads. Let&#39;s go buy beads and turn this into a you know, bracelet making situation. So I um took all of these girls in the car. There were five um Lakota girls, you&#39;re welcome, and two uh my daughter and her friend, and we drove to the bead shop, which was closed in Eagle Butte, unfortunately. So then I&#39;m like, well shit, we should just go to Dairy Queen, because there is a Dairy Queen here, and it is I mean, there&#39;s two restaurants in this town, a subway and a Dairy Queen. We&#39;ve eaten it both. David: 6:46 Honestly, that covers all your major food. Gavin: 6:48 Like, I&#39;m I&#39;m okay with those two options. Yeah. So we&#39;re driving to Dairy Queen. Excuse me. We&#39;re at Dairy Queen. Um, where I&#39;m like, just uh order what you want. I mean, I don&#39;t feel like dropping 50 bucks at Dairy Queen is ever something that I uh intend to do, but you know, this is a special case. So we&#39;re driving back, and these girls we are screaming um a Nicki Minaj. I I don&#39;t know what kind of influence my kids are being on those kids, but um screaming Nicki Minaj, and they knew other lyrics too. Talk about a universal unifier is um, you know, pop music. So they were screaming all the same songs together. And then one girl says, Where&#39;s your wife? And my daughter goes, my daughter goes, he doesn&#39;t have a wife, he has a husband. David: 7:34 And I mean And the car just slams to a stop. Gavin: 7:38 Yes, silence, yes, dust just kicked up in the air. Yes, the proverbial um needle scratches off the record, and and they&#39;re like, and the girl&#39;s response was, oh hell no. Oh no. David: 7:54 And I&#39;m like, and I&#39;m like to yank that fucking McFlurry out of their hands. Gavin: 8:00 I I had a moment there being like, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I mean, yeah, I just couldn&#39;t believe that my daughter was the one who shouted this. And I&#39;m glad. Obviously, I&#39;m glad that she didn&#39;t have any compulsion about doing so, but I was like, I wasn&#39;t really ready. Yet, when are you ready to suddenly out yourself to a bunch of people who are like, what? David: 8:22 So you know, in a probably unsafe area that you feel unsafe in. I mean, so what did you do? Gavin: 8:28 Might be. I mean, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s exactly MAGA out here. I think they I think the look I think the Lakota people tend to be Democrats if they&#39;re voting. I mean, I know that the Democrats court the native vote more than the Republicans do. Anyway, I mean, okay, so I&#39;m driving and suddenly it&#39;s a little silent and awkward, and I&#39;m like, well, right, well, uh, right, well, have you heard the term to spirit? And they&#39;re like, no. I&#39;m like, well, you know, it&#39;s uh, you know, it&#39;s another You&#39;re like, that&#39;s your people&#39;s thing. Yeah. And they&#39;re like, your people. You&#39;re like this just digging a hole, digging a hole, digging a hole. I&#39;m like, you know, it&#39;s the it&#39;s the it&#39;s an Indian term. Two spirit? No. Well, yeah. I mean, I know, I know I know Native people. No. Well, you know what gay means. And they&#39;re like, yeah. I&#39;m like, well, guilty. And they&#39;re like, oh, and immediately whispering amongst themselves, whispering, whispering, whispering. And then one of the girls shouts to her friends, you know what I want to know? How&#39;d he get her? Pointing to my daughter. I&#39;m like, oh shit, this is this is just all opening up. So I&#39;m like, uh, well, and I&#39;m just thinking, like, how much do I need to explain here? Do I need to jerk do I need to explain jerking off into a Dixie cup in a bathroom? David: 9:51 No, probably not. Losing it and then having to go back and do it again, like the whole story? Gavin: 9:58 Yeah. I said, so I said, I have a friend who can&#39;t who who had my daughter in her belly, and they were like, oh. And from the back, a little girl goes, You mean like a surrogate? Like, and that was it. And then then, then, then that was the end of the discussion. David: 10:18 You&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re better than I am. I would have slammed the brakes. I&#39;d say, get the fuck out of the car. You&#39;re gonna say ew or whatever they said. No, not interested. But I get like that, like this is probably their first exposure to any real gay parent in their entire lives. Gavin: 10:31 I felt like I this is a moment to be an ambassador, and if they suddenly don&#39;t like me or whatever, which which of course they didn&#39;t care. They didn&#39;t say anything to me. They just kept trying to sell me bracelets, and that is not an exaggeration. They did. SPEAKER_01: 10:42 Yeah. Gavin: 10:43 Um, but it was funny that when we dropped them off from our nighttime Dairy Queen um run last night, my daughter was debriefing with her two friends, and they all came to my defense and they said, We couldn&#39;t believe they said that to you. I&#39;m like, what are you talking about? And I it&#39;s kind of like a little bit of offended anger came out after the fact. My daughter, I know she was having a great time, but she said that um she was pissed that they said hell no. And I was like, when she said, Ah, hell no. I was like, Girls, it&#39;s it&#39;s it it that is the least of our concerns. And I was not offended by that. It&#39;s fine. David: 11:18 But it&#39;s but it well, you should have been, but we&#39;re not offended because we hear way worse more often. But also, it&#39;s nice that like they came to your like and also honestly, just exposure for them to see like, no, no, no, we are in a safe liberal bubble wherever we live, and everyone knows us and everything is fine. But this is actually what we kind of have to deal with. And so, yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s interesting. I would have taken, I would have taken those blizzards out of their hands, I would have thrown them out the window. I was like, now what do you think about gay parents? I would have said this is why I should never be an ambassador for anything. Ever. Gavin: 11:51 Well, unfortunately, also though, I I I do think we left the the impression that listen, rich, I am not. That is for sure. Let me count the ways that I am struggling in all the ways. But obviously, and my daughter is like, I wish we were rich. I wish we were rich. But um, but obviously in comparison, I mean, I was the I was the fag who showed up, drove them in a really nice car to Dairy Queen two night two days in a row and bought-just laid your credit card down. Laid that credit card down, thinking to myself, oh fuck, I hope I&#39;m able to cover the$65 next month. But whatever. Uh it it&#39;s I have no problems in comparison to these kids. So I was glad to get them their blizzards and not be an asshole like David Vaughn would have been in the moment. David: 12:35 I would have totally been an asshole. And that is a really good transition to this topic, which is disciplining other people&#39;s kids in public. Gavin: 12:44 Your favorite thing. David: 12:45 Well, I mean, my question is like, do you do it? Because I have found a lot recently, either at kids&#39; birthday parties or playgrounds or these like kind of semi-public spaces where like your kids are interacting with other kids and like something happens and their parent is not around. Right. I&#39;m not talking about like if their parents are there or whatever, but like if if my daughter&#39;s holding a ball and the kid walks up and just like grabs the ball out of her hand, she starts crying. Do you say something? I for sure I have no problem disciplining other people. I&#39;ll be like, or like somebody will come up to me like I want that ice cream. I&#39;ll be like, first of all, the word please. This is like when you were talking, I was like, this is a perfect segue. Second of all, the answer is no, Clayton, or whatever your name is. So, like, I would that&#39;s my my question is like, do you discipline strangers, kids in public if they do something in front of you? Gavin: 13:35 Absolutely. I think that, um, I think that it takes a village. Hillary Clinton knew it. It takes a village. We&#39;ve got to be able to pipe up once in a while. And also, don&#39;t you have so much trauma as a child of having some kid dis some parent discipline you on a playground when you made a bad choice and you do not forget that shit, right? So even though you&#39;re looking back in your the recesses of your pea brain and thinking that person was such a jerk to me, but you do not forget what you did or or the fact that they disciplined you. And listen, over the last couple of days, there were a couple of times that I was like, can I hear please with that? Or I mean, there was a I mubbed, muttered under my breath as we walked out of Dairy Queen last night. Sure would be nice to hear thank you. But I kept that to myself. I kept that to myself. David: 14:22 I will never forget my neighbor who was uh my best friend at the time. We were at his house and his mom yelled at me and put me in a timeout in their like reclining chair in their living room. I was fuming. I was like, you bitch, you&#39;re not my mom. How dare you think that I also was like taking the time out. But like I still think about that....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK&apos;s in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with &#34;DILF Island,&#34; we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersand Justin Bohon, husband of previous guest Stephen Oremus, who talks to us about his previous life as a casting director, his current life as a gym owner, and and how being an actor prepared him for his life&apos;s ups and downs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast And THIS SATURDAY, June 28th, we are meeting at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park from 9am-12pm. Please come by and join us! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And his name is at its Luke underscore seven. And this guy basically you know what? Hold on. Shall I just demonstrate it&#39;s at Luke because it&#39;ll be it&#39;ll be better that way? I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re talking about, Kavan. You&#39;re right. This is none of the things. David: 0:21 Are you gonna say a sentence with your finished? Are you gonna finish the sentence? The sentence. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:43 So, David, I know that this is an audio and not a visual platform, but do you see where I am? David: 0:51 You are in the backseat of a car, which is where I became gay. Gavin: 0:58 If only I were here for that purpose. I&#39;m recording from the backseat of my car because this is the only place I could actually get cell phone reception and a quiet place, basically. Because I&#39;m in Eagle Butte, South Dakota. Please uh Google that. I am truly, truly in the middle of nowhere. I uh but the reason I&#39;m here is I&#39;ve been wanting to regale you for days. There have been many, many times that I&#39;m like, oh my god, I&#39;ve got to talk about this on Gatriarchs. Because um, so as I&#39;ve sort of mentioned before, I uh take my kids to a church. We are part of a church community that let me make all the disclaimers, not that I should ever feel defensive about having like some spiritual connection, but uh it&#39;s not about religion, it&#39;s about community, frankly, and like showing my kids that there&#39;s a broader world out there. And guess what? We are showing them there&#39;s a broader world out there because we are in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, where we had basically a cultural exchange with um uh uh a Lakota tribe, a Lakota Indian Reservation, a very, very, very small town nestled within the Cheyenne River Reservation is actually the name of the reservation. And um, so we&#39;ve spent the weekend with um a bunch of families who are Lakota uh tribe, and it has been a lot of eye-opening stuff, particularly for my kids, that&#39;s for sure. David: 2:17 Are we supposed to say Indian still? Aren&#39;t we supposed to say Native American? They listen. Or do they no, no, but I legitimately am asking because like sometimes they do they say Indian? Gavin: 2:28 I&#39;m laughing because of the how many layers of do we say, do they, and theying and othering and everything. David: 2:35 The white guilt is taking over me, yeah. Gavin: 2:37 Absolutely. I totally understand that. 100%. Now, listen, I will say it&#39;s safe space, right? And we&#39;re not in danger of being canceled because nobody listens to this podcast anyway. But they say, the Lakota people, they say Indian constantly. So yes, I think that it is okay to say Indian, but I you will hear me defaulting to Lakota a lot, and I appreciate that they innocent. David: 3:01 It&#39;s the accent for me that you&#39;re doing the light, like the 20%, the 20% accent that you&#39;re giving me, which is like which is arguably not racist enough, but really tiptoeing up to the line. I just want to tell you. Gavin: 3:15 I am trying. They they the the Lakota people, what they just always they they have such a you know, when you hear Native Americ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK&apos;s in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with &#34;DILF Island,&#34; we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersand Justin Bohon, husband of previous guest Stephen Oremus, who talks to us about his previous life as a casting director, his current life as a gym owner, and and how being an actor prepared him for his life&apos;s ups and downs. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast And THIS SATURDAY, June 28th, we are meeting at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park from 9am-12pm. Please come by and join us! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And his name is at its Luke underscore seven. And this guy basically you know what? Hold on. Shall I just demonstrate it&#39;s at Luke because it&#39;ll be it&#39;ll ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with expat Darien Wilson</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-expat-darien-wilson/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we forget Fathers&apos; Day, we debrief about the Tony awards that were weeks ago, we share each others&apos; bedtime routines, we rank the top 3 toys you disappear as a Dad, and this week we are joined by expat Darien Wilson who talks to us about her decision to move from Colorado to the Netherlands, how parenting culture is different in Europe, and what her kids would allow her to say on this podcast that wasn&apos;t embarassing. **Remember, our listener meetup is Saturday, June 28th from 9am-12pm at the Hecksher playground in Central Park. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gaytriarchs-podcast-men-having-babies-pride-meet-up-tickets-1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um we don&#39;t have a cold open. How do we make a cold open for this? Are you recording right now? Yeah. Just say that again, please. We need a cold open. We don&#39;t have a cold open you surprisingly made it this entire episode, but not making a mistake, so we need a cold open for this episode. And this is Gatriarchs? That&#39;s your cold open? unknown: 0:22 Fuck off. David: 0:40 We are missed. We missed Father&#39;s Day. We missed talking about it beforehand. We missed preparing anything for it. We are two father families, and we did absolutely nothing. Father&#39;s Day was this past Sunday. Happy. But yeah, but we&#39;re we&#39;re recording ahead of time, but we didn&#39;t think about it. We&#39;re a mess over here at Gatriarchs, but we want to wish all the listener out there happy Father&#39;s Day. Gavin: 1:04 Yes. For those who celebrate, but then also, isn&#39;t that sort of in uh doesn&#39;t that indicate where we are on the celebrating Father&#39;s Day continuum, also of being like, listen, I&#39;ve got no time. I I don&#39;t necessarily want another barbecue set. And whoops, it just crept up on me because that&#39;s how June is. I feel like it&#39;s also our brand, too. David: 1:25 So it makes our listener feel consistent, like they&#39;re they&#39;re taken care of, that we prepare nothing, we do nothing, we&#39;re really bad at we&#39;re doing the best we can. Gavin: 1:34 Listen, when we get massive corporate sponsorship, then we will think about things like calendars and oh in advance. But for now, we&#39;re just doing the best we can to keep our heads above water. David: 1:44 Um, but uh last week was the Tony Awards. And you and I, listen, we often, our poor listener, whoever listener is not a uh Broadway fan, we&#39;re sorry, but we want to take a couple of minutes just to like talk through our thoughts because listen, it&#39;s the gay Super Bowl. We want to talk a little bit about it. Um and uh so you watched the Tony Awards, I assume. Gavin: 2:03 I did. And my overall takeaway was that it wasn&#39;t a sensational show, but it was very good. And I thought Cynthia Revo stepped up for being a host. She&#39;s great. She&#39;s not a dancer, and that&#39;s fine. Who can dance in those eight-inch heels she walks around in? I don&#39;t understand how she walks in those things at all. But um, she just she sang the shit out of it, and that&#39;s what we know her for. And you know, her opener of like sometimes you just need a song. She&#39;s like, listen, this is what I have to give you. And she delivered. I thought she was really great. And she&#39;s a good host too. David: 2:33 I feel like it&#39;s being a host is not a skill that everyone has. True. Everyone thinks, like, oh, if you&#39;re just a really good whatever, you could host a show. No, no, you fucking can&#39;t. Um no, she did a really good job. I I listen, I am a little bit of a theater purist, but I, as a director, get very frustrated when I see shows that just use video screens. And uh the Tony Awards have never done that. They&#39;ve used it supplementary to video screens. This year, the entire set was video screens. And then if you noticed in scene transitions where a curtain would go up, the video screen would do a digital comma. Oh God, that kind of shit bugs the fucking life out of it. Gavin: 3:12 That is the I mean, I&#39;m sure they&#39;re they in the long run, they think they&#39;re gonna save a billion dollars on that video screen that they made. Um, and they think they&#39;ll be able to use it for the next 20 years. But I mean, also, I don&#39;t understand how is it that, say, Dead Outlaw had that little platform, that truck that came out and the band played on that. I was watching that thinking, did they hoist that onto a semi-truck and just drive it up from drive it across Times Square? And that&#39;s how they did something like that, right? David: 3:42 They don&#39;t build a new set just for So what they do is for those kinds, like anything that&#39;s flown, they have to have obviously pre-rigged. But like when when I did the Tonies, it was like when the when they&#39;re doing the set before you, literally from the street, they&#39;re loading in the next set onto the onto the deck, they lose it, and then it goes back onto the trailer and it goes back to the theater during the awards. It&#39;s the same thing with the cast, like we would come out, we would perform, and then in costume, we would get on a fucking greyhound and they would cart us back to the theater. So it&#39;s a wild four blocks. Gavin: 4:13 When in reality, she should have just walked back to the theater, probably. But which, which that would have been hilarious to see the cast of Shrek in full costume, regalia, walking across Times Square. And also, nobody would even look at you sideways because they&#39;re just like, Oh, there&#39;s some more characters walking across Times Square. David: 4:30 When we performed at the Macy&#39;s um uh parade, we were supposed to get busted back, but there was this like there was some issue with the bus, it couldn&#39;t go whatever. So a lot of us were like, we&#39;re like 20 blocks away. So we walked back to the theater up Ninth Avenue in our costume. That was really funny. But uh, as far as like the awards, listen, we could go on a deep dive, we won&#39;t, but I will say I something uh my something great a couple weeks ago was um maybe happy ending, and I&#39;m so glad it swept and did as well as it did. I am not necessarily a fan of Audra in I know it&#39;s it&#39;s a little bit of a touchy subject. There&#39;s a lot of variables here. I know people are like, who cares about our voice when the acting is this? It just it it&#39;s not for me, but I&#39;m very happy for all the winners and all the people who are nominated. It was fun to see friends. I&#39;m sure you have friends that were nominated. So um it was a great it was a great show, and we&#39;re always happy that theater is being is still alive, still as of Tuesday, January 10th or June 10th, when we&#39;re recording this. Gavin: 5:29 So um, I you know what, on the Audra Factor, I do I was pulling for her to win Best Actor because you know, well, we do say best actor, right? Do we say best actress? I&#39;ve already think it&#39;s actress. Yeah, and um be but I did think, oh gosh, I wonder how the rest of the world is gonna watch this because it is it was a performance that&#39;s not showbizy polished like you expect it to be. Even that number, even when you&#39;ve just got a big old brassy belter on it, which she is not a brassy belter. And um, but there was an I the raw emotion that that woman exudes on stage is just untouched. It is um it is remarkable. We love her. David: 6:10 Um, so I let&#39;s move into gay dad topics. I okay, let&#39;s do it. I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna suggest this, but I was thinking this the other day, and I thought this would be helpful for our listener, which is whenever you witness a parent parenting their child in real life, it is always such a great window, I feel like, into how other people do things. Because I think we assume how other people do naps or bedtimes or uh dinner time, but when you actually hear it or you get to see it, I feel like it&#39;s really helpful, at least to orient you into what other people are doing, whether that&#39;s to quell your fears that you&#39;re doing it all wrong or whatever. Gavin: 6:46 Or the Schadenfreude of being able to watch somebody else fuck it up even more than you are. And so you&#39;re like, that&#39;s great. I I guess I got this watching that idiot do it. David: 6:54 That&#39;s the best. Yeah, I was having a conversation at a birthday party with another parent. She was telling me about how they do dinner time, and I was like, this is fascinating. This is absolutely not what we do, but it is interesting to hear. So, anyway, I wanted to say, let&#39;s talk about our bedtime routines with our kids, because that to me is one where I feel like, are we doing this right? And so I was like, why don&#39;t you and I tell our listener how we do bedtime and see if that is helpful. Now, again, our kids are so fucking different in ages, so it&#39;s gonna look very different. But I&#39;ll tell you how ours we do ours. So our we have a five and a three-year-old. So our three-year-old&#39;s bedtime is 7:30 p.m. That is when we walk up the stairs. So we walk up the stairs, usually kicking and screaming, usually mad at me. And the first thing we do is we take off our clothes and we get in our PJs. That&#39;s our first line of attack. It&#39;s usually followed by some crying and some kicking on the front. And then we pee. We have to make sure we pee, and then we brush our teeth. We do our flossing. We have like the little animal flossers, and then we go into her room and we sit and we read two books. That is our limit. That is all, and we let them choose the books. We read two books, and then uh as soon as it&#39;s done, I say goodnight. I walk her to her bed. She screams that she&#39;s not tired, she falls on the ground. Um, I turn off the light and then I walk out of there. And then she comes out a couple times and says, I need water, I need whatever. But that&#39;s the general micro. Gavin: 8:20 How have you not put a glass of water into the the lineup there so she doesn&#39;t come out asking for one? Oh, babe, you&#39;re so cute that you think that would stop it. David: 8:28 She has a water bottle in her bed, but if it&#39;s not filled to the very top, that is a reason she comes out, right? So that&#39;s my three-year-old. My five-year-old is similar. We walk up the stairs, we get into our PJs right away, we pee, we brush our teeth, we floss our teeth, we go into our bed. He likes to come into our bed and read two books, again, max two books, and then we turn off the light. And my five-year-old likes to cuddle. So we cuddle for five minutes, and then we walk to his room, we put him in bed, we turn the light off, we say goodnight. So that is our bedtime routines. Do you talk during cuddle time or is it like a conversation? No, it&#39;s usually the best time. It&#39;s the time you actually get to talk to your kid. It&#39;s in the dark. He&#39;s like kind of just laying there, and we&#39;re like, what do you think about monkeys? He&#39;s like, Yeah, monkeys. You know, it&#39;s like all these like really great connections. So that&#39;s right. That&#39;s our bedtime routine. What is a bedtime routine like for preteens? Gavin: 9:17 Well, may I may I just go back to what you were saying and not judging it all. Actually, I think that was very relatable. No, I think it was very relatable. One of the things that um one of the things that we did was um having some bedtime songs and saying prayers, not that we&#39;re particularly religious people, but no, no, listen, I mean, it isn&#39;t about Jesus, it&#39;s more just like the routine of being like stopping, you know. I I would just as easily be like, tell me three things about your day that you that were good, or tell me something good, bad, and weird about your day. And having that like connection time, and then also, yes, David, thinking about gratitude and thinking about three things that you know made you happy or hell, you helped somebody. And um, and that would kind of be in our routine. And then, but then I do miss those days, singing a little song to them and the songs that we would sing. Do you always sing bedtime songs or not? David: 10:11 No, well, so when they were younger, I had like I have a song, an original song written for every part of their day. I had like a bath song, I had a drying off song, I had a go-to-bed song. Like we we had written and sang songs, and it they&#39;ve just since gone away, right? Like they get older. And I used to sing, I used to hold my daughter and she used to say, I have a recording of it on my phone, sing the song. And I would just sing You Are My Sunshine every single night. And then at one night, she didn&#39;t want that anymore. Gavin: 10:36 And you just forgot about it, and it just went away. David: 10:39 Yeah. And that that leads me to my next thing I&#39;ll talk about, but I know you still want to talk, is like the how things go away. But yeah, no, I don&#39;t sing anymore. Gavin: 10:45 Well, um, okay, so for our routine, we definitely, my son is and how old are the kids? Yeah, they are 12 and 13. So I have a sixth grader and an eighth grader, or as of now, as of the airing of this, they are now in summertime. And oh my god, I have a seventh and a ninth grader. But mainly my son is really good about being like, hey, I&#39;m done night. I mean, mid-movie, mid-something. We don&#39;t watch a lot of TV. That&#39;s not to say we&#39;re screen-free by by any stretch of the imagination, but like I was just using that as an example. Even on a Saturday night, he might hit 8:30 and be like, yo, I&#39;m done, and he&#39;ll just go upstairs. Um, there have been a couple of times, I&#39;m gonna go back and forth here a little bit. There have been a couple of times that my daughter, who now tends to aim for about 9, 9.15, 9.30, and she has her whole, she&#39;s a nighttime showerer. She finds it disgusting that we, the boys in her life, would ever go to bed without showering at night. And she looks at us with yet another reason that she looks at us with disdain and disgust. But she takes a good 45 minutes to like shower. She often is, I know that she&#39;s not even in the shower and I can hear the water running because she&#39;s just on her damn phone. So then I will phone bank her from downstairs and the on the seventh call, she&#39;ll finally answer because it&#39;s disrupting her Spotify playlist that she&#39;s listening to. Anyway, so she&#39;s up there. But I I definitely make her go up the stairs by 8:30. And um, I mean, she does her thing, and my son. Oh, uh my partner has been recently um sharing. Uh, what is it? I I mentioned this in an episode a couple of weeks ago. Um, has been looking at the little videos that CBS creates of on the road. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about? They&#39;re little happy. It was your something great. Yeah. David: 12:28 Was your something great? Gavin: 12:29 So Todd does that at night at bedtime with at least my son. He often forgets to do it with my daughter because frankly, it&#39;s already so late. We&#39;re like, just go to fuck to bed. And um, anyway, gosh, it sounds so unregulated, but I mean it&#39;s kind of like But you&#39;re have older sons, like you don&#39;t have to helicopter, yeah. 8 p.m. He&#39;s walking upstairs, brushes teeth, in bed. And um, and we, you know, we still kind of do a little bit of uh you know, gratitude at the end of the night. David: 12:56 And and uh I mean it wouldn&#39;t be Gabe and Squidden if there wasn&#39;t some gratitude. Gavin: 13:01 My daughter, she would be horrified to know that I&#39;m sharing this, but she will still let me read to her. And I always want to get in um I want her to get in bed sooner so that we have some time to do so. Uh my son&#39;s also because she puts her feet down and she won&#39;t read during the day unless it&#39;s an actual...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we forget Fathers&apos; Day, we debrief about the Tony awards that were weeks ago, we share each others&apos; bedtime routines, we rank the top 3 toys you disappear as a Dad, and this week we are joined by expat Darien Wilson who talks to us a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we forget Fathers&apos; Day, we debrief about the Tony awards that were weeks ago, we share each others&apos; bedtime routines, we rank the top 3 toys you disappear as a Dad, and this week we are joined by expat Darien Wilson who talks to us about her decision to move from Colorado to the Netherlands, how parenting culture is different in Europe, and what her kids would allow her to say on this podcast that wasn&apos;t embarassing. **Remember, our listener meetup is Saturday, June 28th from 9am-12pm at the Hecksher playground in Central Park. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gaytriarchs-podcast-men-having-babies-pride-meet-up-tickets-1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um we don&#39;t have a cold open. How do we make a cold open for this? Are you recording right now? Yeah. Just say that again, please. We need a cold open. We don&#39;t have a cold open you surprisingly made it this entire episode, but not making a mistake, so we need a cold open for this episode. And this is Gatriarchs? That&#39;s your cold open? unknown: 0:22 Fuck off. David: 0:40 We are missed. We missed Father&#39;s Day. We missed talking about it beforehand. We missed preparing anything for it. We are two father families, and we did absolutely nothing. Father&#39;s Day was this past Sunday. Happy. But yeah, but we&#39;re we&#39;re recording ahead of time, but we didn&#39;t think about it. We&#39;re a mess over here at Gatriarchs, but we want to wish all the listener out there happy Father&#39;s Day. Gavin: 1:04 Yes. For those who celebrate, but then also, isn&#39;t that sort of in uh doesn&#39;t that indicate where we are on the celebrating Father&#39;s Day continuum, also of being like, listen, I&#39;ve got no time. I I don&#39;t necessarily want another barbecue set. And whoops, it just crept up on me because that&#39;s how June is. I feel like it&#39;s also our brand, too. David: 1:25 So it makes our listener feel consistent, like they&#39;re they&#39;re taken care of, that we prepare nothing, we do nothing, we&#39;re really bad at we&#39;re doing the best we can. Gavin: 1:34 Listen, when we get massive corporate sponsorship, then we will think about things like calendars and oh in advance. But for now, we&#39;re just doing the best we can to keep our heads above water. David: 1:44 Um, but uh last week was the Tony Awards. And you and I, listen, we often, our poor listener, whoever listener is not a uh Broadway fan, we&#39;re sorry, but we want to take a couple of minutes just to like talk through our thoughts because listen, it&#39;s the gay Super Bowl. We want to talk a little bit about it. Um and uh so you watched the Tony Awards, I assume. Gavin: 2:03 I did. And my overall takeaway was that it wasn&#39;t a sensational show, but it was very good. And I thought Cynthia Revo stepped up for being a host. She&#39;s great. She&#39;s not a dancer, and that&#39;s fine. Who can dance in those eight-inch heels she walks around in? I don&#39;t understand how she walks in those things at all. But um, she just she sang the shit out of it, and that&#39;s what we know her for. And you know, her opener of like sometimes you just need a song. She&#39;s like, listen, this is what I have to give you. And she delivered. I thought she was really great. And she&#39;s a good host too. David: 2:33 I feel like it&#39;s being a host is not a skill that everyone has. True. Everyone thinks, like, oh, if you&#39;re just a really good whatever, you could host a show. No, no, you fucking can&#39;t. Um no, she did a really good job. I I listen, I am a little bit of a theater purist, but I, as a director, get very frustrated when I see shows that just use video screens. And uh the Tony Awards have never done that. They&#39;ve used it supplementary to video screens. This year, the entire set was video screens. And then if you noticed in scene transitions where a curtain would go up, the video screen would do a digital comma. Oh God, that kind of shit bugs the fucking life out of it. Gavin: 3:12 That is the I mean, I&#39;m sure they&#39;re they in the long run, they think they&#39;re gonna save a billion dollars on that video screen that they made. Um, and they think they&#39;ll be able to use it for the next 20 years. But I mean, also, I don&#39;t understand how is it that, say, Dead Outlaw had that little platform, that truck that came out and the band played on that. I was watching that thinking, did they hoist that onto a semi-truck and just drive it up from drive it across Times Square? And that&#39;s how they did something like that, right? David: 3:42 They don&#39;t build a new set just for So what they do is for those kinds, like anything that&#39;s flown, they have to have obviously pre-rigged. But like when when I did the Tonies, it was like when the when they&#39;re doing the set before you, literally from the street, they&#39;re loading in the next set onto the onto the deck, they lose it, and then it goes back onto the trailer and it goes back to the theater during the awards. It&#39;s the same thing with the cast, like we would come out, we would perform, and then in costume, we would get on a fucking greyhound and they would cart us back to the theater. So it&#39;s a wild four blocks. Gavin: 4:13 When in reality, she should have just walked back to the theater, probably. But which, which that would have been hilarious to see the cast of Shrek in full costume, regalia, walking across Times Square. And also, nobody would even look at you sideways because they&#39;re just like, Oh, there&#39;s some more characters walking across Times Square. David: 4:30 When we performed at the Macy&#39;s um uh parade, we were supposed to get busted back, but there was this like there was some issue with the bus, it couldn&#39;t go whatever. So a lot of us were like, we&#39;re like 20 blocks away. So we walked back to the theater up Ninth Avenue in our costume. That was really funny. But uh, as far as like the awards, listen, we could go on a deep dive, we won&#39;t, but I will say I something uh my something great a couple weeks ago was um maybe happy ending, and I&#39;m so glad it swept and did as well as it did. I am not necessarily a fan of Audra in I know it&#39;s it&#39;s a little bit of a touchy subject. There&#39;s a lot of variables here. I know people are like, who cares about our voice when the acting is this? It just it it&#39;s not for me, but I&#39;m very happy for all the winners and all the people who are nominated. It was fun to see friends. I&#39;m sure you have friends that were nominated. So um it was a great it was a great show, and we&#39;re always happy that theater is being is still alive, still as of Tuesday, January 10th or June 10th, when we&#39;re recording this. Gavin: 5:29 So um, I you know what, on the Audra Factor, I do I was pulling for her to win Best Actor because you know, well, we do say best actor, right? Do we say best actress? I&#39;ve already think it&#39;s actress. Yeah, and um be but I did think, oh gosh, I wonder how the rest of the world is gonna watch this because it is it was a performance that&#39;s not showbizy polished like you expect it to be. Even that number, even when you&#39;ve just got a big old brassy belter on it, which she is not a brassy belter. And um, but there was an I the raw emotion that that woman exudes on stage is just untouched. It is um it is remarkable. We love her. David: 6:10 Um, so I let&#39;s move into gay dad topics. I okay, let&#39;s do it. I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna suggest this, but I was thinking this the other day, and I thought this would be helpful for our listener, which is whenever you witness a parent parenting their child in real life, it is always such a great window, I feel like, into how other people do things. Because I think we assume how other people do naps or bedtimes or uh dinner time, but when you actually hear it or you get to see it, I feel like it&#39;s really helpful, at least to orient you into what other people are doing, whether that&#39;s to quell your fears that you&#39;re doing it all wrong or whatever. Gavin: 6:46 Or the Schadenfreude of being able to watch somebody else fuck it up even more than you are. And so you&#39;re like, that&#39;s great. I I guess I got this watching that idiot do it. David: 6:54 That&#39;s the best. Yeah, I was having a conversation at a birthday party with another parent. She was telling me about how they do dinner time, and I was like, this is fascinating. This is absolutely not what we do, but it is interesting to hear. So, anyway, I wanted to say, let&#39;s talk about our bedtime routines with our kids, because that to me is one where I feel like, are we doing this right? And so I was like, why don&#39;t you and I tell our listener how we do bedtime and see if that is helpful. Now, again, our kids are so fucking different in ages, so it&#39;s gonna look very different. But I&#39;ll tell you how ours we do ours. So our we have a five and a three-year-old. So our three-year-old&#39;s bedtime is 7:30 p.m. That is when we walk up the stairs. So we walk up the stairs, usually kicking and screaming, usually mad at me. And the first thing we do is we take off our clothes and we get in our PJs. That&#39;s our first line of attack. It&#39;s usually followed by some crying and some kicking on the front. And then we pee. We have to make sure we pee, and then we brush our teeth. We do our flossing. We have like the little animal flossers, and then we go into her room and we sit and we read two books. That is our limit. That is all, and we let them choose the books. We read two books, and then uh as soon as it&#39;s done, I say goodnight. I walk her to her bed. She screams that she&#39;s not tired, she falls on the ground. Um, I turn off the light and then I walk out of there. And then she comes out a couple times and says, I need water, I need whatever. But that&#39;s the general micro. Gavin: 8:20 How have you not put a glass of water into the the lineup there so she doesn&#39;t come out asking for one? Oh, babe, you&#39;re so cute that you think that would stop it. David: 8:28 She has a water bottle in her bed, but if it&#39;s not filled to the very top, that is a reason she comes out, right? So that&#39;s my three-year-old. My five-year-old is similar. We walk up the stairs, we get into our PJs right away, we pee, we brush our teeth, we floss our teeth, we go into our bed. He likes to come into our bed and read two books, again, max two books, and then we turn off the light. And my five-year-old likes to cuddle. So we cuddle for five minutes, and then we walk to his room, we put him in bed, we turn the light off, we say goodnight. So that is our bedtime routines. Do you talk during cuddle time or is it like a conversation? No, it&#39;s usually the best time. It&#39;s the time you actually get to talk to your kid. It&#39;s in the dark. He&#39;s like kind of just laying there, and we&#39;re like, what do you think about monkeys? He&#39;s like, Yeah, monkeys. You know, it&#39;s like all these like really great connections. So that&#39;s right. That&#39;s our bedtime routine. What is a bedtime routine like for preteens? Gavin: 9:17 Well, may I may I just go back to what you were saying and not judging it all. Actually, I think that was very relatable. No, I think it was very relatable. One of the things that um one of the things that we did was um having some bedtime songs and saying prayers, not that we&#39;re particularly religious people, but no, no, listen, I mean, it isn&#39;t about Jesus, it&#39;s more just like the routine of being like stopping, you know. I I would just as easily be like, tell me three things about your day that you that were good, or tell me something good, bad, and weird about your day. And having that like connection time, and then also, yes, David, thinking about gratitude and thinking about three things that you know made you happy or hell, you helped somebody. And um, and that would kind of be in our routine. And then, but then I do miss those days, singing a little song to them and the songs that we would sing. Do you always sing bedtime songs or not? David: 10:11 No, well, so when they were younger, I had like I have a song, an original song written for every part of their day. I had like a bath song, I had a drying off song, I had a go-to-bed song. Like we we had written and sang songs, and it they&#39;ve just since gone away, right? Like they get older. And I used to sing, I used to hold my daughter and she used to say, I have a recording of it on my phone, sing the song. And I would just sing You Are My Sunshine every single night. And then at one night, she didn&#39;t want that anymore. Gavin: 10:36 And you just forgot about it, and it just went away. David: 10:39 Yeah. And that that leads me to my next thing I&#39;ll talk about, but I know you still want to talk, is like the how things go away. But yeah, no, I don&#39;t sing anymore. Gavin: 10:45 Well, um, okay, so for our routine, we definitely, my son is and how old are the kids? Yeah, they are 12 and 13. So I have a sixth grader and an eighth grader, or as of now, as of the airing of this, they are now in summertime. And oh my god, I have a seventh and a ninth grader. But mainly my son is really good about being like, hey, I&#39;m done night. I mean, mid-movie, mid-something. We don&#39;t watch a lot of TV. That&#39;s not to say we&#39;re screen-free by by any stretch of the imagination, but like I was just using that as an example. Even on a Saturday night, he might hit 8:30 and be like, yo, I&#39;m done, and he&#39;ll just go upstairs. Um, there have been a couple of times, I&#39;m gonna go back and forth here a little bit. There have been a couple of times that my daughter, who now tends to aim for about 9, 9.15, 9.30, and she has her whole, she&#39;s a nighttime showerer. She finds it disgusting that we, the boys in her life, would ever go to bed without showering at night. And she looks at us with yet another reason that she looks at us with disdain and disgust. But she takes a good 45 minutes to like shower. She often is, I know that she&#39;s not even in the shower and I can hear the water running because she&#39;s just on her damn phone. So then I will phone bank her from downstairs and the on the seventh call, she&#39;ll finally answer because it&#39;s disrupting her Spotify playlist that she&#39;s listening to. Anyway, so she&#39;s up there. But I I definitely make her go up the stairs by 8:30. And um, I mean, she does her thing, and my son. Oh, uh my partner has been recently um sharing. Uh, what is it? I I mentioned this in an episode a couple of weeks ago. Um, has been looking at the little videos that CBS creates of on the road. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about? They&#39;re little happy. It was your something great. Yeah. David: 12:28 Was your something great? Gavin: 12:29 So Todd does that at night at bedtime with at least my son. He often forgets to do it with my daughter because frankly, it&#39;s already so late. We&#39;re like, just go to fuck to bed. And um, anyway, gosh, it sounds so unregulated, but I mean it&#39;s kind of like But you&#39;re have older sons, like you don&#39;t have to helicopter, yeah. 8 p.m. He&#39;s walking upstairs, brushes teeth, in bed. And um, and we, you know, we still kind of do a little bit of uh you know, gratitude at the end of the night. David: 12:56 And and uh I mean it wouldn&#39;t be Gabe and Squidden if there wasn&#39;t some gratitude. Gavin: 13:01 My daughter, she would be horrified to know that I&#39;m sharing this, but she will still let me read to her. And I always want to get in um I want her to get in bed sooner so that we have some time to do so. Uh my son&#39;s also because she puts her feet down and she won&#39;t read during the day unless it&#39;s an actual...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we forget Fathers&apos; Day, we debrief about the Tony awards that were weeks ago, we share each others&apos; bedtime routines, we rank the top 3 toys you disappear as a Dad, and this week we are joined by expat Darien Wilson who talks to us about her decision to move from Colorado to the Netherlands, how parenting culture is different in Europe, and what her kids would allow her to say on this podcast that wasn&apos;t embarassing. **Remember, our listener meetup is Saturday, June 28th from 9am-12pm at the Hecksher playground in Central Park. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gaytriarchs-podcast-men-having-babies-pride-meet-up-tickets-1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um we don&#39;t have a cold open. How do we make a cold open for this? Are you recording right now? Yeah. Just say that again, please. We need a cold open. We don&#39;t have a cold open you surprisingly made it this entire episode, but not making a mistake, so we need a cold open for this episode. And this is Gatriarchs? That&#39;s your cold open? unknown: 0:22 Fuck off. David: 0:40 We are missed. We missed Father&#39;s Day. We missed talking about it beforehand. We missed preparing anything for it. We are two father families, and we did absolutely nothing. Father&#39;s Day was this past Sunday. Happy. But yeah, but we&#39;re we&#39;re recording ahead of time, but we didn&#39;t think about it. We&#39;re a mess over here at Gatriarchs, but we want to wish all the listener out there happy Father&#39;s Day. Gavin: 1:04 Yes. For those who celebrate, but then also, isn&#39;t that sort of in uh doesn&#39;t that indicate where we are on the celebrating Father&#39;s Day continuum, also of being like, listen, I&#39;ve got no time. I I don&#39;t necessarily want another barbecue set. And whoops, it just crept up on me because that&#39;s how June is. I feel like it&#39;s also our brand, too. David: 1:25 So it makes our listener feel consistent, like they&#39;re they&#39;re taken care of, that we prepare nothing, we do nothing, we&#39;re really bad at we&#39;re doing the best we can. Gavin: 1:34 Listen, when we get massive corporate sponsorship, then we will think about things like calendars and oh in advance. But for now, we&#39;re just doing the best we can to keep our heads above water. David: 1:44 Um, but uh last week was the Tony Awards. And you and I, listen, we often, our poor listener, whoever listener is not a uh Broadway fan, we&#39;re sorry, but we want to take a couple of minutes just to like talk through our thoughts because listen, it&#39;s the gay Super Bowl. We want to talk a little bit about it. Um and uh so you watched the Tony Awards, I assume. Gavin: 2:03 I did. And my overall takeaway was that it wasn&#39;t a sensational show, but it was very good. And I thought Cynthia Revo stepped up for being a host. She&#39;s great. She&#39;s not a dancer, and that&#39;s fine. Who can dance in those eight-inch heels she walks around in? I don&#39;t understand how she walks in those things at all. But um, she just she sang the shit out of it, and that&#39;s what we know her for. And you know, her opener of like sometimes you just need a song. She&#39;s like, listen, this is what I have to give you. And she delivered. I thought she was really great. And she&#39;s a good host too. David: 2:33 I feel like it&#39;s being a host is not a skill that everyone has. True. Everyone thinks, like, oh, if you&#39;re just a really good whatever, you could host a show. No, no, you fucking can&#39;t. Um no, she did a really good job. I I listen, I am a little bit of a theater purist, but I, as a director, get very frustrated when I see shows that just use video screens. And uh the Tony Awards have never done that. They&#39;ve used it supplementary to video screens. This year, the entire set was video screens. And then if you]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we forget Fathers&apos; Day, we debrief about the Tony awards that were weeks ago, we share each others&apos; bedtime routines, we rank the top 3 toys you disappear as a Dad, and this week we are joined by expat Darien Wilson who talks to us about her decision to move from Colorado to the Netherlands, how parenting culture is different in Europe, and what her kids would allow her to say on this podcast that wasn&apos;t embarassing. **Remember, our listener meetup is Saturday, June 28th from 9am-12pm at the Hecksher playground in Central Park. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gaytriarchs-podcast-men-having-babies-pride-meet-up-tickets-1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um we don&#39;t have a cold open. How do we make a cold open for this? Are you recording right now? Yeah. Just say that again, please. We need a cold open. We do]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Chad &#038; Michael aka DoubleTheDadJokes</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-chad-michael-aka-doublethedadjokes/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jun 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin runs from his problems, Kindergarten was a blur, Gavin is aiming for a boring Summer for his kids, we rank the top 3 ways Pride is bullshit, we talk about Ricky Martin sin ropa, and this week we are joined by Chad &#38; Michael aka @DoubleTheDadJokes who talks us through their unique journey to fatherhood, why they defend their identity as &#34;Disney Gays,&#34; and why all gays are either in higher education or retail. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Hannah can you say and this is Gatriarchs? Hannah say and this is Gatriarchs. Please? Please just say, and this is Gatrix. Why not? SPEAKER_05: 0:26 And this is Gatriox. David: 0:42 Gavin, what did you text me before we started recording? At this very second? No. Oh. Like when I was like, hey, you&#39;re ready, uh, we&#39;re gonna record. I went You said I I just went for a run. I just finished a run. I just finished a run. Can we do it like you&#39;re almost 50? You&#39;re running still? It hurt. Gavin: 1:06 It all hurt. You&#39;re still running. I will say it all hurt. I did it though. I mean, I ran for about 40 minutes. I can&#39;t. David: 1:13 I&#39;m proud of you. This is a wide room. You don&#39;t run at all? No. I I it is one of those things, and I guess maybe everyone feels this, but like, yeah, the second my body starts to gallop, every part, every every cell in my body says, stop, stop, stop it, stop it. Gavin: 1:29 It all feels plodding and awful, I will say. It really does. But I I don&#39;t know. I mean, I I it I&#39;m able to do it. I don&#39;t do it frequently. I mean, I ran marathons 10 years ago. 10 years ago. I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:44 I just that&#39;s why you&#39;re fit and gorgeous, and I&#39;m this. Gavin: 1:47 I&#39;m neither I&#39;m neither of those things, but I will say I running is not fun to me. It is not at all a pleasure. But I will say, you know, it burns calories quickly, and all you do is throw on shoes and you go and you come back, right? David: 1:58 Also that&#39;s so I so badly want that body of like lean up top, but like thick legs because you run all the time and not ass. Like that&#39;s that&#39;s my dream body. Gavin: 2:07 Well, those are uh that every single footstep feels plodding. I feel everything shaking. And I and I live in a hilly area, and so it&#39;s it&#39;s not an easy place to run. And it&#39;s not a pleasure, but I love that you um started out today&#39;s episode by mocking me for trying to not have a heart attack. David: 2:26 I wasn&#39;t mocking you, I was just merely shocked. When you said that I was like waiting for the joke, was like run to Duncan, like what, like run to Taco Bell? Like, what was it? Um, it was a shock. Um another shock, another shock we got was a listener, uh, my sorry, my future ex-husband Liam from we have talked about him many times. He&#39;s one of our favorite listeners, and he messaged, he messaged us and said, Um, hello, assholes, for your top three Olympic sports. What about diving? And I was like, Obviously, how did we forget like it&#39;s kind of beautiful in teeny tiny little swimsuits? Gavin: 3:03 And how do they never come off? Um, I mean, obvious, but also Liam, love ya. But also, we were kind of trying not to be completely cliche. A little bit. That&#39;s true. A little bit. I mean, diving&#39;s obvious. David: 3:16 It is obvious, but we should have given it a honorable mention. Gavin: 3:19 An honorable mention, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Liam&#39;s. David: 3:21 Sorry, future assembly, Liam. I apologize. That was a terrible, terrible mistake. Gavin: 3:27 Terrible oversight. Yeah. Yeah, but definitely. I mean, Tom Daly is in our feed on the reg. And uh, I mean, I say no more. Yeah, say no more. He leaves us all speechless. By if if it&#39;s not knitting, it&#39;s those teeny tiny speedos that he is not knitting either. Um, so it is um, you are staring down the barrel of summertime, right? Are you officially summer? You are officially summer now? David: 3:53 I I think I mean it&#39;s 90 degrees today. Yeah, that&#39;s it&#39;s 90 degrees today. I know it&#39;s like, I think officially summer is like the 21st or something, so we&#39;re like a week or two away. Gavin: 4:03 But I mean, your kids are out of school yet or not? David: 4:05 Yes, as of the airing of this episode, we are out of school and we are right into a fucking camp because I&#39;m gonna take care of those children. I&#39;m paying people to do it. Gavin: 4:14 Well, then I would imagine this preempts my question, which is have you thought at all about like the micromanaging of boredom? David: 4:22 I haven&#39;t because Gavin, this is my first summer as a parent in the way you&#39;re setting this up, right? Because I&#39;ve pre previously all of my kids have been in life was just summer, so it&#39;s just it&#39;s just one kind of like continuous loop. But this is the first time, like, oh, he&#39;s out of school for a couple of months. What the fuck are you gonna do about it? I have never so this is my first summer, so I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 4:43 Yeah. Well, so is he in camp almost every single day? Or what&#39;s your camp schedule? David: 4:48 Yeah, I mean, look, God, it&#39;s it&#39;s a nightmare. This is this is a nightmare because we both, my husband and I both work, so it&#39;s not like he can just be at home all the time, but like we could adjust if we needed to. But they have camps everywhere and they&#39;re all expensive and they&#39;re all impossible to get into. So we basically chose a camp that is at his old school. Um and a couple of the weeks we&#39;ve just not done because we&#39;re going on a trip or he&#39;s gonna go to a gymnastics camp. But like we&#39;re doing camps basically, we&#39;re going right into camps. Yeah. And there&#39;s no downtime. There&#39;s a week of downtime, one week. Where you&#39;re traveling, or just like no, I&#39;m here and we&#39;re just gonna no. My husband is gonna be working. I&#39;m just gonna be home. I can&#39;t wait to record that week. Gavin: 5:29 Can we have him come on with us? He can co-host the show. David: 5:32 Sure. Yeah, we could do, we could, we could have him co-host. He&#39;d be really, really interesting. He&#39;s gonna tell you about all the various differences between all the ponies and my little pony and where they come from in Equestria or Manhattan and all the weird fucking places. It is deep. Gavin: 5:48 We have definitely just scheduled two, maybe three of our guests for this summer, because my kids, if I can pay them enough and sedate them, you might be able to interview them, and that would be pretty hilarious. And if I be hilarious. If I could um interview him. Well, okay, so I mean, uh, as we know, I have conflicted feelings about summer, and in fact, that&#39;s even related later to our top three list. But of course, I&#39;m always preoccupied about my kids getting bored and the importance of being bored and just be bored and sit around and just be bored, et cetera, et cetera. But then that reminds me of I was just having one of those moments of sip, sipping coffee and staring out the window, I don&#39;t know, yesterday, um, thinking about like when was it that my kids stopped pretending and stopped uh going into make-believe land and have just like completely relied on outside stimulation to keep them from being bored. And I I remember so vividly that my daughter was having a you know a playdate with a friend of hers who was a Harry Potter super freak back about four years ago. It was when we were living in Connecticut, and I remember watching them walk around the yard, just like rehash Harry Potter, but they weren&#39;t playing Harry Potter. And I gotta say, when my daughter was your kid&#39;s age, I was already watching her, she wasn&#39;t exactly in make-believe land, she was setting the scene all the time and deciding what the scenario was and what her character&#39;s name was and what her backstory was, and this, that, and the other. But she didn&#39;t exactly like do the playing. And I wonder, was that a loss of pretending or loss of make-believe? Does your kid go into complete fantasy land? David: 7:24 Yeah, but because they&#39;re five and three, they&#39;re still so young. We&#39;re like, they&#39;re they have no, they have none of the like external, like the world hasn&#39;t poisoned them yet, which I&#39;m by the way, dreading every day. Because I know because my son is so free, he&#39;ll just start dancing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store because he just hears a cool song. And I know that freedom is gonna start to be just he&#39;s just gonna start getting suffocated by the the social pressures of being normal, and that&#39;s gonna break my heart. But no, right now they&#39;re still they love playing, they love like making up characters, they love playing store or whatever. So when that goes away, it&#39;s gonna be sad. Gavin: 7:59 They have a yes and relationship when they play, like, here&#39;s a tomato that I&#39;m buying from you, clerk, as we play grocery store. No, they have a no but relationship. David: 8:10 They&#39;ll be like, I&#39;m gonna serve you French fries, and he&#39;ll go, no, but you can make me a milkshake, and then she&#39;ll go, no, I&#39;m the server, and he&#39;ll go, no. And then they scream at each other, and then I have to intervene. Gavin: 8:20 Yeah. I mean, this makes me wonder if we even romanticize what um what make-believe has been. I mean, I don&#39;t even remember necessarily diving into like G.I. Joe land and really having lavish fantasies that I was acting out out in the backyard or in my room or anything. And by lavish fantasies, I don&#39;t mean G.I. Joe action guy on guy. David: 8:41 But rather when you were telling stories in your yoga at the Parthenon. That&#39;s what that&#39;s the childhood you remember, right? You know? There was that. There was that. There was some of that. You know, it&#39;s the the loss of play and everything kind of ties into this other thing I was thinking about, which is like this is my first year with a kid in like the regular school system. Um, he&#39;s in kindergarten. And previously we&#39;ve been in daycare, and daycare, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re taking care of this, but like we had an app where we had really good communication. Every day there&#39;s like photos, and there&#39;s like, this is when they ate, and this is when we went outside and played, and here&#39;s what&#39;s going on next week. And so I didn&#39;t have to rely on my children telling me what happened during the day. This year, there is no app, there&#39;s no information. I am strictly relying on my son to tell when I say, Hey, how was your day? Fine. What did you do? Nothing. Nothing. Like that, that is the day. And what I&#39;ve noticed is that this year has flown by in the way that previous years haven&#39;t, because I don&#39;t, there&#39;s no, I don&#39;t know what&#39;s going on. So it&#39;s just been kind of one day year. Yep, do you know what I mean? Uh-huh. Versus like at his daycare, it was like, oh, this is, you know, uh water slide week. We rented a water slide. Oh, this is this week, and we&#39;re doing this, and the animal trainer&#39;s coming. He may be doing all of that at kindergarten. I have no fucking clue. So it is wild that like this, the kindergarten experience has been like a blip because it just like I don&#39;t know really what&#39;s going on. Yeah. Gavin: 10:08 You know, I mean, that whole sense of having the constant reports from your teachers that&#39;s almost justifying their existence and the expense of what you&#39;ve just been paying. And it&#39;s so exciting. And then you&#39;re exactly right. Then suddenly one day just bleds into another, and suddenly your kid is graduating from eighth grade, and you&#39;re like, what have you done for the last six years? I have absolutely no idea. Except for the fact that you&#39;re traumatized by the grades apps that you can see on your phone called Power School, at least in our area, where you&#39;re able to monitor um assignment by assignment your kids&#39; grades, which turns us all into complete freaks. Because I mean, you want to talk about helicoptering. Suddenly, when you see every single grade your kid ever gets instead of just a report card in the It is too much. I completely agree. David: 10:52 It&#39;s way too much information because I can&#39;t be trusted with that information. You for sure can&#39;t be trusted with that information. I mean, I remember when I would get the report card and you&#39;d have to have your parents sign it. It was paper. And me and my friend Jamie would go and we would go to the the um, there was a copy machine at the grocery store by our high school, and we would copy it. We would cut out letters like fucking serial killers, we&#39;d paste it, we&#39;d make another thing, and then we would get the new version, and then we&#39;d have to fold it up in our pocket to you know really give it a little bit of texture. So yeah, yeah. And then my parents would know, we would never change the GPA. So I would have I would have straight A&#39;s and then a GP of 2.7. And a 2.7. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my parents would never even knew. So um, I feel sad that the kids can&#39;t do that, but it&#39;s too much information. Too much information. Gavin: 11:34 If mom out there listening, listening. Shit. Sorry, listen, man. We we do need to hear the report from your side of this. Were you totally? I mean, parents always say I wasn&#39;t born yesterday and I did all these things when I was a kid. Did you do that when you were growing up, mom? David: 11:48 Yeah, maybe on the chalk drawings on the cave wall. Gavin: 11:51 I don&#39;t know how she changed those, but um speaking of cave walls, yeah, right? So we are so excited that it is Pride Month and that we are going to have our very first gay dads meetup. By the way, ladies, you are welcome too. Straight dads who want to be a gay triarch, you are welcome too. And the reason that was a segue from the cave walls is because you don&#39;t actually understand this yet, do you, David? Because you are not a devotee of Hecksher Playground. No. But the Hector Playground is designed like a castle with big old stone walls. And so there&#39;s lots of opportunities for chalking stone walls, although these are more like medieval walls than Neanderthal cave walls that I grew up in. So um, tell us more about the Hecksher Playground and meetup, David. David: 12:34 Well, well, we are gonna just bombard you with this information until uh the gen June 28th, because we want everyone to, we want all of our listeners to be there. And thank you, by the way, for listener Daniel, who reached out to us and said, Hey, like I&#39;m not a dad yet, but I want to be, am I allowed to come? And I was like, oh shit, we totally forgot. This is open to all, by the way. Absolutely. We are a gay dads podcast, we we are partnering with men having babies, which is a gay dad&#39;s thing. But like, if you&#39;re a a lesbian family, if you were if you are a straight ally family, if you are the homeless guy but has the hot body who has a shirt off, all are welcome at this. Gavin: 13:11 Also, you don&#39;t even need to have kids. If you listen to our podcast and you would like would just come up and give us a hug, we would love. David: 13:19 If you want to hug Gavin&#39;s runner&#39;s body, you&#39;re allowed to. He&#39;s giving you consent right now. You are allowed to just walk up to him. He&#39;ll be the tall drink of water wearing a yellow shirt. But yes, please, everyone, please join us. If you&#39;re in the New York City area, um we are it is gonna be Saturday, June 28th from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park. It&#39;s the kind of south centrally part of um Central Park. Super easy to get to. Um, everyone is invited. If if you&#39;re hearing the sound of my voice, you&#39;re invited. Um we will be there and I we&#39;re I&#39;m ordering balloons today. I don&#39;t know what kind of balloons we&#39;ll have, but we&#39;ll have some way to find us. Gavin: 13:55 We&#39;ll have waters and probably some Costco thing that David picks up off the side of the road outside that...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin runs from his problems, Kindergarten was a blur, Gavin is aiming for a boring Summer for his kids, we rank the top 3 ways Pride is bullshit, we talk about Ricky Martin sin ropa, and this week we are joined by Chad &#38; Michael aka @Doub]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin runs from his problems, Kindergarten was a blur, Gavin is aiming for a boring Summer for his kids, we rank the top 3 ways Pride is bullshit, we talk about Ricky Martin sin ropa, and this week we are joined by Chad &#38; Michael aka @DoubleTheDadJokes who talks us through their unique journey to fatherhood, why they defend their identity as &#34;Disney Gays,&#34; and why all gays are either in higher education or retail. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Hannah can you say and this is Gatriarchs? Hannah say and this is Gatriarchs. Please? Please just say, and this is Gatrix. Why not? SPEAKER_05: 0:26 And this is Gatriox. David: 0:42 Gavin, what did you text me before we started recording? At this very second? No. Oh. Like when I was like, hey, you&#39;re ready, uh, we&#39;re gonna record. I went You said I I just went for a run. I just finished a run. I just finished a run. Can we do it like you&#39;re almost 50? You&#39;re running still? It hurt. Gavin: 1:06 It all hurt. You&#39;re still running. I will say it all hurt. I did it though. I mean, I ran for about 40 minutes. I can&#39;t. David: 1:13 I&#39;m proud of you. This is a wide room. You don&#39;t run at all? No. I I it is one of those things, and I guess maybe everyone feels this, but like, yeah, the second my body starts to gallop, every part, every every cell in my body says, stop, stop, stop it, stop it. Gavin: 1:29 It all feels plodding and awful, I will say. It really does. But I I don&#39;t know. I mean, I I it I&#39;m able to do it. I don&#39;t do it frequently. I mean, I ran marathons 10 years ago. 10 years ago. I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:44 I just that&#39;s why you&#39;re fit and gorgeous, and I&#39;m this. Gavin: 1:47 I&#39;m neither I&#39;m neither of those things, but I will say I running is not fun to me. It is not at all a pleasure. But I will say, you know, it burns calories quickly, and all you do is throw on shoes and you go and you come back, right? David: 1:58 Also that&#39;s so I so badly want that body of like lean up top, but like thick legs because you run all the time and not ass. Like that&#39;s that&#39;s my dream body. Gavin: 2:07 Well, those are uh that every single footstep feels plodding. I feel everything shaking. And I and I live in a hilly area, and so it&#39;s it&#39;s not an easy place to run. And it&#39;s not a pleasure, but I love that you um started out today&#39;s episode by mocking me for trying to not have a heart attack. David: 2:26 I wasn&#39;t mocking you, I was just merely shocked. When you said that I was like waiting for the joke, was like run to Duncan, like what, like run to Taco Bell? Like, what was it? Um, it was a shock. Um another shock, another shock we got was a listener, uh, my sorry, my future ex-husband Liam from we have talked about him many times. He&#39;s one of our favorite listeners, and he messaged, he messaged us and said, Um, hello, assholes, for your top three Olympic sports. What about diving? And I was like, Obviously, how did we forget like it&#39;s kind of beautiful in teeny tiny little swimsuits? Gavin: 3:03 And how do they never come off? Um, I mean, obvious, but also Liam, love ya. But also, we were kind of trying not to be completely cliche. A little bit. That&#39;s true. A little bit. I mean, diving&#39;s obvious. David: 3:16 It is obvious, but we should have given it a honorable mention. Gavin: 3:19 An honorable mention, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Liam&#39;s. David: 3:21 Sorry, future assembly, Liam. I apologize. That was a terrible, terrible mistake. Gavin: 3:27 Terrible oversight. Yeah. Yeah, but definitely. I mean, Tom Daly is in our feed on the reg. And uh, I mean, I say no more. Yeah, say no more. He leaves us all speechless. By if if it&#39;s not knitting, it&#39;s those teeny tiny speedos that he is not knitting either. Um, so it is um, you are staring down the barrel of summertime, right? Are you officially summer? You are officially summer now? David: 3:53 I I think I mean it&#39;s 90 degrees today. Yeah, that&#39;s it&#39;s 90 degrees today. I know it&#39;s like, I think officially summer is like the 21st or something, so we&#39;re like a week or two away. Gavin: 4:03 But I mean, your kids are out of school yet or not? David: 4:05 Yes, as of the airing of this episode, we are out of school and we are right into a fucking camp because I&#39;m gonna take care of those children. I&#39;m paying people to do it. Gavin: 4:14 Well, then I would imagine this preempts my question, which is have you thought at all about like the micromanaging of boredom? David: 4:22 I haven&#39;t because Gavin, this is my first summer as a parent in the way you&#39;re setting this up, right? Because I&#39;ve pre previously all of my kids have been in life was just summer, so it&#39;s just it&#39;s just one kind of like continuous loop. But this is the first time, like, oh, he&#39;s out of school for a couple of months. What the fuck are you gonna do about it? I have never so this is my first summer, so I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 4:43 Yeah. Well, so is he in camp almost every single day? Or what&#39;s your camp schedule? David: 4:48 Yeah, I mean, look, God, it&#39;s it&#39;s a nightmare. This is this is a nightmare because we both, my husband and I both work, so it&#39;s not like he can just be at home all the time, but like we could adjust if we needed to. But they have camps everywhere and they&#39;re all expensive and they&#39;re all impossible to get into. So we basically chose a camp that is at his old school. Um and a couple of the weeks we&#39;ve just not done because we&#39;re going on a trip or he&#39;s gonna go to a gymnastics camp. But like we&#39;re doing camps basically, we&#39;re going right into camps. Yeah. And there&#39;s no downtime. There&#39;s a week of downtime, one week. Where you&#39;re traveling, or just like no, I&#39;m here and we&#39;re just gonna no. My husband is gonna be working. I&#39;m just gonna be home. I can&#39;t wait to record that week. Gavin: 5:29 Can we have him come on with us? He can co-host the show. David: 5:32 Sure. Yeah, we could do, we could, we could have him co-host. He&#39;d be really, really interesting. He&#39;s gonna tell you about all the various differences between all the ponies and my little pony and where they come from in Equestria or Manhattan and all the weird fucking places. It is deep. Gavin: 5:48 We have definitely just scheduled two, maybe three of our guests for this summer, because my kids, if I can pay them enough and sedate them, you might be able to interview them, and that would be pretty hilarious. And if I be hilarious. If I could um interview him. Well, okay, so I mean, uh, as we know, I have conflicted feelings about summer, and in fact, that&#39;s even related later to our top three list. But of course, I&#39;m always preoccupied about my kids getting bored and the importance of being bored and just be bored and sit around and just be bored, et cetera, et cetera. But then that reminds me of I was just having one of those moments of sip, sipping coffee and staring out the window, I don&#39;t know, yesterday, um, thinking about like when was it that my kids stopped pretending and stopped uh going into make-believe land and have just like completely relied on outside stimulation to keep them from being bored. And I I remember so vividly that my daughter was having a you know a playdate with a friend of hers who was a Harry Potter super freak back about four years ago. It was when we were living in Connecticut, and I remember watching them walk around the yard, just like rehash Harry Potter, but they weren&#39;t playing Harry Potter. And I gotta say, when my daughter was your kid&#39;s age, I was already watching her, she wasn&#39;t exactly in make-believe land, she was setting the scene all the time and deciding what the scenario was and what her character&#39;s name was and what her backstory was, and this, that, and the other. But she didn&#39;t exactly like do the playing. And I wonder, was that a loss of pretending or loss of make-believe? Does your kid go into complete fantasy land? David: 7:24 Yeah, but because they&#39;re five and three, they&#39;re still so young. We&#39;re like, they&#39;re they have no, they have none of the like external, like the world hasn&#39;t poisoned them yet, which I&#39;m by the way, dreading every day. Because I know because my son is so free, he&#39;ll just start dancing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store because he just hears a cool song. And I know that freedom is gonna start to be just he&#39;s just gonna start getting suffocated by the the social pressures of being normal, and that&#39;s gonna break my heart. But no, right now they&#39;re still they love playing, they love like making up characters, they love playing store or whatever. So when that goes away, it&#39;s gonna be sad. Gavin: 7:59 They have a yes and relationship when they play, like, here&#39;s a tomato that I&#39;m buying from you, clerk, as we play grocery store. No, they have a no but relationship. David: 8:10 They&#39;ll be like, I&#39;m gonna serve you French fries, and he&#39;ll go, no, but you can make me a milkshake, and then she&#39;ll go, no, I&#39;m the server, and he&#39;ll go, no. And then they scream at each other, and then I have to intervene. Gavin: 8:20 Yeah. I mean, this makes me wonder if we even romanticize what um what make-believe has been. I mean, I don&#39;t even remember necessarily diving into like G.I. Joe land and really having lavish fantasies that I was acting out out in the backyard or in my room or anything. And by lavish fantasies, I don&#39;t mean G.I. Joe action guy on guy. David: 8:41 But rather when you were telling stories in your yoga at the Parthenon. That&#39;s what that&#39;s the childhood you remember, right? You know? There was that. There was that. There was some of that. You know, it&#39;s the the loss of play and everything kind of ties into this other thing I was thinking about, which is like this is my first year with a kid in like the regular school system. Um, he&#39;s in kindergarten. And previously we&#39;ve been in daycare, and daycare, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re taking care of this, but like we had an app where we had really good communication. Every day there&#39;s like photos, and there&#39;s like, this is when they ate, and this is when we went outside and played, and here&#39;s what&#39;s going on next week. And so I didn&#39;t have to rely on my children telling me what happened during the day. This year, there is no app, there&#39;s no information. I am strictly relying on my son to tell when I say, Hey, how was your day? Fine. What did you do? Nothing. Nothing. Like that, that is the day. And what I&#39;ve noticed is that this year has flown by in the way that previous years haven&#39;t, because I don&#39;t, there&#39;s no, I don&#39;t know what&#39;s going on. So it&#39;s just been kind of one day year. Yep, do you know what I mean? Uh-huh. Versus like at his daycare, it was like, oh, this is, you know, uh water slide week. We rented a water slide. Oh, this is this week, and we&#39;re doing this, and the animal trainer&#39;s coming. He may be doing all of that at kindergarten. I have no fucking clue. So it is wild that like this, the kindergarten experience has been like a blip because it just like I don&#39;t know really what&#39;s going on. Yeah. Gavin: 10:08 You know, I mean, that whole sense of having the constant reports from your teachers that&#39;s almost justifying their existence and the expense of what you&#39;ve just been paying. And it&#39;s so exciting. And then you&#39;re exactly right. Then suddenly one day just bleds into another, and suddenly your kid is graduating from eighth grade, and you&#39;re like, what have you done for the last six years? I have absolutely no idea. Except for the fact that you&#39;re traumatized by the grades apps that you can see on your phone called Power School, at least in our area, where you&#39;re able to monitor um assignment by assignment your kids&#39; grades, which turns us all into complete freaks. Because I mean, you want to talk about helicoptering. Suddenly, when you see every single grade your kid ever gets instead of just a report card in the It is too much. I completely agree. David: 10:52 It&#39;s way too much information because I can&#39;t be trusted with that information. You for sure can&#39;t be trusted with that information. I mean, I remember when I would get the report card and you&#39;d have to have your parents sign it. It was paper. And me and my friend Jamie would go and we would go to the the um, there was a copy machine at the grocery store by our high school, and we would copy it. We would cut out letters like fucking serial killers, we&#39;d paste it, we&#39;d make another thing, and then we would get the new version, and then we&#39;d have to fold it up in our pocket to you know really give it a little bit of texture. So yeah, yeah. And then my parents would know, we would never change the GPA. So I would have I would have straight A&#39;s and then a GP of 2.7. And a 2.7. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my parents would never even knew. So um, I feel sad that the kids can&#39;t do that, but it&#39;s too much information. Too much information. Gavin: 11:34 If mom out there listening, listening. Shit. Sorry, listen, man. We we do need to hear the report from your side of this. Were you totally? I mean, parents always say I wasn&#39;t born yesterday and I did all these things when I was a kid. Did you do that when you were growing up, mom? David: 11:48 Yeah, maybe on the chalk drawings on the cave wall. Gavin: 11:51 I don&#39;t know how she changed those, but um speaking of cave walls, yeah, right? So we are so excited that it is Pride Month and that we are going to have our very first gay dads meetup. By the way, ladies, you are welcome too. Straight dads who want to be a gay triarch, you are welcome too. And the reason that was a segue from the cave walls is because you don&#39;t actually understand this yet, do you, David? Because you are not a devotee of Hecksher Playground. No. But the Hector Playground is designed like a castle with big old stone walls. And so there&#39;s lots of opportunities for chalking stone walls, although these are more like medieval walls than Neanderthal cave walls that I grew up in. So um, tell us more about the Hecksher Playground and meetup, David. David: 12:34 Well, well, we are gonna just bombard you with this information until uh the gen June 28th, because we want everyone to, we want all of our listeners to be there. And thank you, by the way, for listener Daniel, who reached out to us and said, Hey, like I&#39;m not a dad yet, but I want to be, am I allowed to come? And I was like, oh shit, we totally forgot. This is open to all, by the way. Absolutely. We are a gay dads podcast, we we are partnering with men having babies, which is a gay dad&#39;s thing. But like, if you&#39;re a a lesbian family, if you were if you are a straight ally family, if you are the homeless guy but has the hot body who has a shirt off, all are welcome at this. Gavin: 13:11 Also, you don&#39;t even need to have kids. If you listen to our podcast and you would like would just come up and give us a hug, we would love. David: 13:19 If you want to hug Gavin&#39;s runner&#39;s body, you&#39;re allowed to. He&#39;s giving you consent right now. You are allowed to just walk up to him. He&#39;ll be the tall drink of water wearing a yellow shirt. But yes, please, everyone, please join us. If you&#39;re in the New York City area, um we are it is gonna be Saturday, June 28th from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park. It&#39;s the kind of south centrally part of um Central Park. Super easy to get to. Um, everyone is invited. If if you&#39;re hearing the sound of my voice, you&#39;re invited. Um we will be there and I we&#39;re I&#39;m ordering balloons today. I don&#39;t know what kind of balloons we&#39;ll have, but we&#39;ll have some way to find us. Gavin: 13:55 We&#39;ll have waters and probably some Costco thing that David picks up off the side of the road outside that...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin runs from his problems, Kindergarten was a blur, Gavin is aiming for a boring Summer for his kids, we rank the top 3 ways Pride is bullshit, we talk about Ricky Martin sin ropa, and this week we are joined by Chad &#38; Michael aka @DoubleTheDadJokes who talks us through their unique journey to fatherhood, why they defend their identity as &#34;Disney Gays,&#34; and why all gays are either in higher education or retail. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Hannah can you say and this is Gatriarchs? Hannah say and this is Gatriarchs. Please? Please just say, and this is Gatrix. Why not? SPEAKER_05: 0:26 And this is Gatriox. David: 0:42 Gavin, what did you text me before we started recording? At this very second? No. Oh. Like when I was like, hey, you&#39;re ready, uh, we&#39;re gonna record. I went You said I I just went for a run. I just finished a run. I just finished a run. Can we do it like you&#39;re almost 50? You&#39;re running still? It hurt. Gavin: 1:06 It all hurt. You&#39;re still running. I will say it all hurt. I did it though. I mean, I ran for about 40 minutes. I can&#39;t. David: 1:13 I&#39;m proud of you. This is a wide room. You don&#39;t run at all? No. I I it is one of those things, and I guess maybe everyone feels this, but like, yeah, the second my body starts to gallop, every part, every every cell in my body says, stop, stop, stop it, stop it. Gavin: 1:29 It all feels plodding and awful, I will say. It really does. But I I don&#39;t know. I mean, I I it I&#39;m able to do it. I don&#39;t do it frequently. I mean, I ran marathons 10 years ago. 10 years ago. I can&#39;t believe it. David: 1:44 I just that&#39;s why you&#39;re fit and gorgeous, and I&#39;m this. Gavin: 1:47 I&#39;m neither I&#39;m neither of those things, but I will say I running is not fun to me. It is not at all a pleasure. But I will say, you know, it burns calories quickly, and all you do is throw on shoes and you go and you come back, right? David: 1:58 Also that&#39;s so I so badly want that body of like lean up top, but like thick legs because you run all the time and not ass. Like that&#39;s that&#39;s my dream body. Gavin: 2:07 Well, those are uh that every single footstep feels plodding. I feel everything shaking. And I and I live in a hilly area, and so it&#39;s it&#39;s not an easy place to run. And it&#39;s not a pleasure, but I love that you um started out today&#39;s episode by mocking me for trying to not have a heart attack. David: 2:26 I wasn&#39;t mocking you, I was just merely shocked. When you said that I was like waiting for the joke, was like run to Duncan, like what, like run to Taco Bell? Like, what was it? Um, it was a shock. Um another shock, another shock we got was a listener, uh, my sorry, my future ex-husband Liam from we have talked about him many times. He&#39;s one of our favorite listeners, and he messaged, he messaged us and said, Um, hello, assholes, for your top three Olympic sports. What about diving? And I was like, Obviously, how did we forget like it&#39;s kind of beautiful in teeny tiny little swimsuits? Gavin: 3:03 And how do they never come off? Um, I mean, obvious, but also Liam, love ya. But also, we were kind of trying not to be completely cliche. A little bit. That&#39;s true. A little bit. I mean, diving&#39;s obvious. David: 3:16 It is obvious, but we should have given it a honorable mention. Gavin: 3:19 An honorable mention, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Liam&#39;s. David: 3:21 Sorry, future assembly, Liam. I apologize. That was a terrible, terrible mistake. Gavin: 3:27 Terrible oversight. Yeah. Yeah, but definitely. I mean, Tom Daly is in our feed on the reg. And uh, I mean, I say no more. Yeah, say no more. He leaves us all speechless. By if if it&#39;s not knitting, it&#39;s those teeny tiny speedos that he is not knitting either. Um, so it is um, you are]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin runs from his problems, Kindergarten was a blur, Gavin is aiming for a boring Summer for his kids, we rank the top 3 ways Pride is bullshit, we talk about Ricky Martin sin ropa, and this week we are joined by Chad &#38; Michael aka @DoubleTheDadJokes who talks us through their unique journey to fatherhood, why they defend their identity as &#34;Disney Gays,&#34; and why all gays are either in higher education or retail. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Hannah can you say and this is Gatriarchs? Hannah say and this is Gatriarchs. Please? Please just say, and this is Gatrix. Why not? SPEAKER_05: 0:26 And this is Gatriox. David: 0:42 Gavin, what did you text me before we started recording? At this very second? No. Oh. Like when I was like, hey, you&#39;re ready, uh, we&#39;re gonna record. I went You said I I just went for a run. I just finishe]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Daryl Calfee</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-daryl-calfee/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David loves his kids more when they&apos;re sick, Gavin has some gay news, we finally did it and scheduled a listener meetup, we rank the top 3 Olympic sports for the gay male gaze, and this week we are joined by author and Grecian marble statue Daryl Calfee who talks to us about his new book, &#34;Let&apos;s Skip the Bull: Lessons from Dad after your Mom died,&apos; what he learned as a man from West Virginia living in NYC, and what version 2.0 of Daryl looks like, without going to jail.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Tell me the top three most cliche ways. Something about pride. Um, like the biggest bullshit, the bullshit ways people celebrate pride or corporations celebrate pride, or Gavin. David: 0:17 I want you to know that 82% of our cold opens are just me. Trying to work out the top three lists. Gavin: 0:24 I am aware of that because I do listen and I&#39;m okay with it with the the the hole that I am digging here. David: 0:32 Um the hole. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week has been a week where I darkly have enjoyed my daughter being very sick because she has had some sort of like stomach bug thing, but like a light, like poopy a little bit, kind of cramping, not just not uncomforta not comfortable. And my daughter is not cuddly. So she&#39;s been really cuddly. She just wants to lay on me. So I&#39;ve been like, oh, I I won the lottery, the parent lottery, because all we&#39;re doing yesterday is we&#39;re laying around. She just wants to lay on top of me. She&#39;s putting all her weight on me, but she&#39;s not sick, sick, where she&#39;s like coughing in my face or throwing up or doing anything. So I was like, oh, I have won the lottery until that sound. The sound where she starts to cry and cough a little bit, but it&#39;s a different kind of cough. Uh-huh. It you just it&#39;s like those of you who have dogs know the sound I&#39;m talking about. Yes, I&#39;m equating children to dogs. And not the first time. She started, she sat up and she started crying, and then she started coughing, and I went, Oh, is this? And then she just projectile vomited all over me, all over the bed. And then she&#39;s crying because she&#39;s throwing up. Yeah. And I&#39;m trying to comfort her while in my head going, oh my god, I&#39;m covered in a three-year-old&#39;s vomit, and trying to like maintain my sense of calm while also being so fucking disgusted that this happened. SPEAKER_03: 2:26 And then she just wants to be held. Gavin: 2:29 Oh, well, and just she wants to lay in her own sick on your chest. David: 2:35 I&#39;m doing the I&#39;m doing the acting role of a lifetime by being so calm and I&#39;m you saying, It&#39;s totally fine. SPEAKER_03: 2:42 Don&#39;t worry about it. Daddy will shower later, we&#39;ll clean up, like, don&#39;t worry about it inside. David: 2:48 I&#39;m like, don&#39;t fucking touch me. Don&#39;t fucking touch me. This is disgusting. Oh, yeah. I think I got punished for kind of being happy that my kid was a little bit sick because I was getting cuddles. Gavin: 2:59 You were celebrating the joy and the gratitude, and look what it gets you. Absolutely pointless. Um never again. Are you an immediate recoil from barf person? I know we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I forget. David: 3:11 My husband and I are literally our dividing line is the belly button. For whatever reason, anything above the neck, boogers, ear stuff, vomit, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. Grosses me out so badly, and it doesn&#39;t affect my husband. And the reverse is true. We&#39;re like, poop he, like, I don&#39;t, it just doesn&#39;t bother me. And my husband&#39;s a little like, uh, why don&#39;t you deal with that? So it works out usually. Yeah. But when I&#39;m the like, he&#39;ll just like reach in my kid&#39;s ear and like pull stuff out. It&#39;s so gross. But luckily, we&#39;re a good team because he can do that half and I can do the other half. Gavin: 3:41 Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, so this is funny because it&#39;s this is reminding me of um, I have years of parenting PTSD from my son&#39;s cough. Now, what I mean by that is I do think though he hasn&#39;t tested super positive for a lot of allergies, he definitely has seasonal allergies like most of us do. And um, he has a very, very distinctive cough that absolutely this is when I become show my monstrous side when it just drives me bonkers. And it&#39;s just the same. He has a it&#39;s always a two-cough sneeze, a two-cough sneeze. The poor kid is going through it constantly, really suffering, never complaining, because that&#39;s just not what he does. And it&#39;s a cough, cough, a chew. And I mean, it&#39;ll happen 15 times an hour. I mean, it really is seems I mean, probably people, a listener out there is thinking, you need to actually deal with this. But we do. I mean, we give him uh an allergy pill when he was younger. We gave him like the allergy um or the not the Benadryl, but the you know, like a cold and cough that&#39;s uh got a whole lot of chemicals in it. So you just give like this microdose to kids. And a doctor friend of mine was like, listen, that&#39;s just super conservative. You can give it, you can double him up on it. And it does seem to help. And it all goes away, but he has had this same pattern of cough, cough, sneeze, cough, cough, sneeze since he was two years old. And when it rears its ugly head, I&#39;m reminded, oh geez, now I have to suffer through this for the next few weeks. David: 5:14 I love how we have taken our children&#39;s genuine illnesses and made it about us in our annoyances. Gavin: 5:21 We uh this is a safe place. Are you mocking me for that? David: 5:25 This is what this is in our 110-episode history. Did you consider Gatriarchs a safe place? But you know what&#39;s also not a safe place? Oh god, what? Pride. It&#39;s pride, it is pride, guys. It is week one of pride. Gavin: 5:44 Unleash, have a Kiki, um, love it, hate it, whatever you&#39;re gonna do. But yes, happy pride to you as well, David. David: 5:50 It is it is pride. It is a month where we get to hang a rainfall, rainbow flag out our house and wonder if somebody&#39;s gonna drive by and spray paint bag on the side of our house. But it is pride, and we are proud to it. Feels weird to say you&#39;re proud to be who you are, because like I didn&#39;t do anything to earn this. Gavin: 6:07 Oh, yes, we did. Oh, yes, we did. Not only 110 episodes, we were born with it, baby. Yes, I agree, but we still get to be proud about it. So, how are we gonna celebrate? Do you think? David: 6:19 We&#39;re gonna celebrate, guys, by doing what a listener suggested. Gavin: 6:23 We are, yes, we are. I&#39;m not gonna pretend that I didn&#39;t know this was coming. I&#39;m really excited about it. We&#39;re we&#39;re gonna put our our money, yeah, and a balloon where our mouths are. David: 6:33 Anyway, we&#39;re gonna put other things where our mouths are, but also, listener, we decided to do this eight minutes before we started recording. So we are gonna do a Gatriarch&#39;s Gay Dads Meetup. Yes, we are. We&#39;re gonna do one. It&#39;s gonna be in New York City. We are gonna just try this out, and we it literally could just be us. It could be Gavin and I standing in a park, yeah holding Gatriarch&#39;s water bottles and just looking around at other people. But we&#39;re gonna try it. Um, I know, listener, not everyone lives anywhere near New York City. That is totally fine. We&#39;re gonna try to partner with some other organizations, but it&#39;s we just want to try it. We&#39;re just gonna see why don&#39;t we all just hang out in a park together? So, what we&#39;ve decided is we are gonna meet on Saturday, June 28th, and we&#39;re gonna go from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Gavin: 7:22 Which that time of the day, luckily, I mean, morning rhymes with liquor. So I&#39;m gonna find a way to have mimosas. And it might just be a BYOB situation, just fill your own cup because we should be able to do that. We&#39;re gonna get tickets for sure. We don&#39;t want to get ticketed or arrested. Um, so we probably shouldn&#39;t do that, but like BYOB, y&#39;all, please. Yeah. David: 7:43 Well, but don&#39;t don&#39;t like don&#39;t like be cool about it. You know what I mean? Um, it&#39;s like cruising. It&#39;s like be cool about it. Don&#39;t ruin this. Um, we&#39;re gonna meet at the Heckshire Playground. If you don&#39;t know where that is, I didn&#39;t either. Um, Gavin was telling me about it. It&#39;s on the southeast side of Central Park. It is so easy to access from either the Columbus Circle side or over by Apple. Like wherever you are, it&#39;s this, it&#39;s like the very bottom of Central Park. Gavin: 8:06 If you Google her um Heckshire Playground, which is spelled S H E C K S H E R. Are you sure there&#39;s not another C in there? I think I don&#39;t fucking know. I think you did your C&#39;s wrong. Hold on. Whatever. David: 8:19 Um, but it that&#39;s where we&#39;re gonna meet again, 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. This is aimed for kids, people who have kids who would play at a playground at 9 a.m. I know some of you have teenagers or older kids or whatever. Well, but Egan was saying this, yeah. Gavin: 8:30 Yeah, to that point, actually, there&#39;s a little kids section, there&#39;s a big kid section, there&#39;s lots of swings, there is a water um thing going on through the the the main feature of the playground is it&#39;s kind of got this old style medieval castle that you can climb around. And then on the other side of the castle, there&#39;s these big ass rocks that frankly everybody from five-year-olds to 55-year-olds, including me, I am not 55 to be clear, um, like to climb over and clamber over. So it is, it has truly got something for everyone, including a public restroom. And you know what a public restroom means in the middle of Central Park, don&#39;t you, David? David: 9:06 I know what it means at night, and I know what it means during the day. And during the day, for us, it&#39;s gonna mean you can have a place to change your kid&#39;s diaper. Gavin: 9:14 You don&#39;t have to bail just because your kid decided I don&#39;t need to pee or poop before leaving the house in the morning. And then those assholes have to pee or poop the second they arrive. David: 9:23 So there is a restroom there, yes. So we hope, listener, you join us. Um, we hope somebody joins us, and if it&#39;s just us, it&#39;ll be a great reason for Gabe and I to get together. So just one lesson. We&#39;re gonna say this every episode until it&#39;s over. But Saturday, June 28th from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park, New York City. Anyway, um, so moving on. You were waiting for me to put a hat on that. But I realized I have no, I have nothing for you today. Okay, so I have a question for you. Tell me. You know, and I&#39;ve said this since I think maybe episode one or two, is that I&#39;m a big believer that we as parents have to put our mask on before we put the mask on our children. We have to make sure we are fully functioning people to be great parents to our kids. And one of the ways that I did this, my husband and I did this in infant, not in infancy, but like the first couple of years was we tried every Sunday, which meant every other Sunday and sometimes one Sunday a month, to get a babysitter for a couple of hours, even if that meant we just went to the basement and like watched a movie or something. Right. Because we needed that refill. Yeah. Well, so we have been really bad about it for like this whole year. We have not barely done it at all, other than like special times. And we&#39;ve decided we we at least for the next month or two, we want to do it again every Sunday because we haven&#39;t even like we can&#39;t even, we don&#39;t even have time to shop for socks. Yeah, like my husband&#39;s like, I need socks. I&#39;m like, who&#39;s gonna buy it? I don&#39;t know. So we&#39;re gonna do it again. And so we planned every Sunday for the next month for three hours on Sunday, we&#39;re getting a babysitter. Nice. Like my kids are pissed. And so now my husband and I had this conversation of like, we&#39;re feeling guilty. We&#39;re like, is this too much time? Are we ruining our kids&#39; lives? Rip that band because now they&#39;re old enough to like care whether we&#39;re not at home and they want us to be home all the time. SPEAKER_03: 11:15 No, we see these fuckers all the fucking time. Gavin: 11:18 And those fuckers see you guys as fuckers all the time. And why don&#39;t they need a break from you, frankly? I mean, listen, uh now I&#39;m at the point where my kids are kind of like, please don&#39;t come home ever. Please don&#39;t come, please don&#39;t. We will eat ramen. We will just open some spaghettios and eat it cold. We don&#39;t need you home. Anyway, you&#39;ll see, you&#39;ll see. But so have you found a solution to just abandoning your children? David: 11:42 Oh, good. No, we&#39;re doing it. We&#39;re doing it, but we were just like having this, we were walking after lunch, and I was just like, I&#39;m starting to feel a little guilty because our kids are like, No, I want to be with you. And I&#39;m like, I want to go to Macy&#39;s and look at blazers more than I want to spend time with that children. That&#39;s not true, but but but we&#39;re getting back into it because we were, we were, you know, we were trying to schedule a trip and we were trying to do this off. We were like, when are we gonna do this? Because we put the last one to bed and we come downstairs at nine. Uh I&#39;m in bed at 9.27. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have a 27-minute window to like talk to my husband about anything by ourselves. And he will have fallen asleep by the end of the day. And he&#39;s asleep immediately. I can always tell when we&#39;re watching TV and he goes in a very specific position on the couch where he like has a blanket, but he like wraps his little hand around a pillow, and I always laugh. I&#39;m like, oh, is that your awake position? Um, anyway, um, tell me some good news. I need some good news in my life. Gavin: 12:35 There is some news in the the in the world right now to be to celebrate. And it falls under the line of, ha ha, that came back to bite you in the ass, didn&#39;t it? So the Iowa legislature signed a bill that&#39;s a don&#39;t say gay bill, right? Okay. And it is super vague and bullshitty, and it&#39;s uh it covers the entire gamut of blocking books and and not allowing teachers to be able to address the existence of what they would call alternative lifestyles, et cetera, right? Well, guess what? Somebody grew a pair and shot it down. And it was actually uh some peel, some folks appealed it, including the, I believe it was the Iowa ACLU and a major book publisher. It was Rand P Penguin Random House, also sued. And so there was a uh U.S. district court in the Southern District of Iowa judge who said, this is bullshit, and I say no. And it vi not only violates the First Amendment and freedom of speech and freedom of expression, but it also the law is just completely overly vague. So they shot it down. So I&#39;m like, you know, thank goodness for talk about the first line of um defense we have right now. It&#39;s all about attorneys. I mean, if I ever wished stronger than having a uh law degree, it is definitely uh, you know, I&#39;m wishing for it right now. David: 13:52 And then also, I need to pause because this is just while you&#39;re pausing, we should tell our listener if you&#39;re looking for places to donate, ACLU. Yeah. Right? Like a great place to put your money because I feel like at the end of the year, we&#39;re always feeling guilty. We&#39;re like, we did nothing for charity. And then we&#39;re like, all right, what where should we put a hundred bucks, 200 bucks? And we&#39;re always like, I don&#39;t know, HRC, which is a great one. Yeah, Trevor Project. But then I always forget ACLU. Gavin: 14:16 Those attorneys they&#39;re fighting the good fight. They&#39;re really fighting the...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David loves his kids more when they&apos;re sick, Gavin has some gay news, we finally did it and scheduled a listener meetup, we rank the top 3 Olympic sports for the gay male gaze, and this week we are joined by author and Grecian marble stat]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David loves his kids more when they&apos;re sick, Gavin has some gay news, we finally did it and scheduled a listener meetup, we rank the top 3 Olympic sports for the gay male gaze, and this week we are joined by author and Grecian marble statue Daryl Calfee who talks to us about his new book, &#34;Let&apos;s Skip the Bull: Lessons from Dad after your Mom died,&apos; what he learned as a man from West Virginia living in NYC, and what version 2.0 of Daryl looks like, without going to jail.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Tell me the top three most cliche ways. Something about pride. Um, like the biggest bullshit, the bullshit ways people celebrate pride or corporations celebrate pride, or Gavin. David: 0:17 I want you to know that 82% of our cold opens are just me. Trying to work out the top three lists. Gavin: 0:24 I am aware of that because I do listen and I&#39;m okay with it with the the the hole that I am digging here. David: 0:32 Um the hole. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week has been a week where I darkly have enjoyed my daughter being very sick because she has had some sort of like stomach bug thing, but like a light, like poopy a little bit, kind of cramping, not just not uncomforta not comfortable. And my daughter is not cuddly. So she&#39;s been really cuddly. She just wants to lay on me. So I&#39;ve been like, oh, I I won the lottery, the parent lottery, because all we&#39;re doing yesterday is we&#39;re laying around. She just wants to lay on top of me. She&#39;s putting all her weight on me, but she&#39;s not sick, sick, where she&#39;s like coughing in my face or throwing up or doing anything. So I was like, oh, I have won the lottery until that sound. The sound where she starts to cry and cough a little bit, but it&#39;s a different kind of cough. Uh-huh. It you just it&#39;s like those of you who have dogs know the sound I&#39;m talking about. Yes, I&#39;m equating children to dogs. And not the first time. She started, she sat up and she started crying, and then she started coughing, and I went, Oh, is this? And then she just projectile vomited all over me, all over the bed. And then she&#39;s crying because she&#39;s throwing up. Yeah. And I&#39;m trying to comfort her while in my head going, oh my god, I&#39;m covered in a three-year-old&#39;s vomit, and trying to like maintain my sense of calm while also being so fucking disgusted that this happened. SPEAKER_03: 2:26 And then she just wants to be held. Gavin: 2:29 Oh, well, and just she wants to lay in her own sick on your chest. David: 2:35 I&#39;m doing the I&#39;m doing the acting role of a lifetime by being so calm and I&#39;m you saying, It&#39;s totally fine. SPEAKER_03: 2:42 Don&#39;t worry about it. Daddy will shower later, we&#39;ll clean up, like, don&#39;t worry about it inside. David: 2:48 I&#39;m like, don&#39;t fucking touch me. Don&#39;t fucking touch me. This is disgusting. Oh, yeah. I think I got punished for kind of being happy that my kid was a little bit sick because I was getting cuddles. Gavin: 2:59 You were celebrating the joy and the gratitude, and look what it gets you. Absolutely pointless. Um never again. Are you an immediate recoil from barf person? I know we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I forget. David: 3:11 My husband and I are literally our dividing line is the belly button. For whatever reason, anything above the neck, boogers, ear stuff, vomit, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. Grosses me out so badly, and it doesn&#39;t affect my husband. And the reverse is true. We&#39;re like, poop he, like, I don&#39;t, it just doesn&#39;t bother me. And my husband&#39;s a little like, uh, why don&#39;t you deal with that? So it works out usually. Yeah. But when I&#39;m the like, he&#39;ll just like reach in my kid&#39;s ear and like pull stuff out. It&#39;s so gross. But luckily, we&#39;re a good team because he can do that half and I can do the other half. Gavin: 3:41 Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, so this is funny because it&#39;s this is reminding me of um, I have years of parenting PTSD from my son&#39;s cough. Now, what I mean by that is I do think though he hasn&#39;t tested super positive for a lot of allergies, he definitely has seasonal allergies like most of us do. And um, he has a very, very distinctive cough that absolutely this is when I become show my monstrous side when it just drives me bonkers. And it&#39;s just the same. He has a it&#39;s always a two-cough sneeze, a two-cough sneeze. The poor kid is going through it constantly, really suffering, never complaining, because that&#39;s just not what he does. And it&#39;s a cough, cough, a chew. And I mean, it&#39;ll happen 15 times an hour. I mean, it really is seems I mean, probably people, a listener out there is thinking, you need to actually deal with this. But we do. I mean, we give him uh an allergy pill when he was younger. We gave him like the allergy um or the not the Benadryl, but the you know, like a cold and cough that&#39;s uh got a whole lot of chemicals in it. So you just give like this microdose to kids. And a doctor friend of mine was like, listen, that&#39;s just super conservative. You can give it, you can double him up on it. And it does seem to help. And it all goes away, but he has had this same pattern of cough, cough, sneeze, cough, cough, sneeze since he was two years old. And when it rears its ugly head, I&#39;m reminded, oh geez, now I have to suffer through this for the next few weeks. David: 5:14 I love how we have taken our children&#39;s genuine illnesses and made it about us in our annoyances. Gavin: 5:21 We uh this is a safe place. Are you mocking me for that? David: 5:25 This is what this is in our 110-episode history. Did you consider Gatriarchs a safe place? But you know what&#39;s also not a safe place? Oh god, what? Pride. It&#39;s pride, it is pride, guys. It is week one of pride. Gavin: 5:44 Unleash, have a Kiki, um, love it, hate it, whatever you&#39;re gonna do. But yes, happy pride to you as well, David. David: 5:50 It is it is pride. It is a month where we get to hang a rainfall, rainbow flag out our house and wonder if somebody&#39;s gonna drive by and spray paint bag on the side of our house. But it is pride, and we are proud to it. Feels weird to say you&#39;re proud to be who you are, because like I didn&#39;t do anything to earn this. Gavin: 6:07 Oh, yes, we did. Oh, yes, we did. Not only 110 episodes, we were born with it, baby. Yes, I agree, but we still get to be proud about it. So, how are we gonna celebrate? Do you think? David: 6:19 We&#39;re gonna celebrate, guys, by doing what a listener suggested. Gavin: 6:23 We are, yes, we are. I&#39;m not gonna pretend that I didn&#39;t know this was coming. I&#39;m really excited about it. We&#39;re we&#39;re gonna put our our money, yeah, and a balloon where our mouths are. David: 6:33 Anyway, we&#39;re gonna put other things where our mouths are, but also, listener, we decided to do this eight minutes before we started recording. So we are gonna do a Gatriarch&#39;s Gay Dads Meetup. Yes, we are. We&#39;re gonna do one. It&#39;s gonna be in New York City. We are gonna just try this out, and we it literally could just be us. It could be Gavin and I standing in a park, yeah holding Gatriarch&#39;s water bottles and just looking around at other people. But we&#39;re gonna try it. Um, I know, listener, not everyone lives anywhere near New York City. That is totally fine. We&#39;re gonna try to partner with some other organizations, but it&#39;s we just want to try it. We&#39;re just gonna see why don&#39;t we all just hang out in a park together? So, what we&#39;ve decided is we are gonna meet on Saturday, June 28th, and we&#39;re gonna go from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Gavin: 7:22 Which that time of the day, luckily, I mean, morning rhymes with liquor. So I&#39;m gonna find a way to have mimosas. And it might just be a BYOB situation, just fill your own cup because we should be able to do that. We&#39;re gonna get tickets for sure. We don&#39;t want to get ticketed or arrested. Um, so we probably shouldn&#39;t do that, but like BYOB, y&#39;all, please. Yeah. David: 7:43 Well, but don&#39;t don&#39;t like don&#39;t like be cool about it. You know what I mean? Um, it&#39;s like cruising. It&#39;s like be cool about it. Don&#39;t ruin this. Um, we&#39;re gonna meet at the Heckshire Playground. If you don&#39;t know where that is, I didn&#39;t either. Um, Gavin was telling me about it. It&#39;s on the southeast side of Central Park. It is so easy to access from either the Columbus Circle side or over by Apple. Like wherever you are, it&#39;s this, it&#39;s like the very bottom of Central Park. Gavin: 8:06 If you Google her um Heckshire Playground, which is spelled S H E C K S H E R. Are you sure there&#39;s not another C in there? I think I don&#39;t fucking know. I think you did your C&#39;s wrong. Hold on. Whatever. David: 8:19 Um, but it that&#39;s where we&#39;re gonna meet again, 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. This is aimed for kids, people who have kids who would play at a playground at 9 a.m. I know some of you have teenagers or older kids or whatever. Well, but Egan was saying this, yeah. Gavin: 8:30 Yeah, to that point, actually, there&#39;s a little kids section, there&#39;s a big kid section, there&#39;s lots of swings, there is a water um thing going on through the the the main feature of the playground is it&#39;s kind of got this old style medieval castle that you can climb around. And then on the other side of the castle, there&#39;s these big ass rocks that frankly everybody from five-year-olds to 55-year-olds, including me, I am not 55 to be clear, um, like to climb over and clamber over. So it is, it has truly got something for everyone, including a public restroom. And you know what a public restroom means in the middle of Central Park, don&#39;t you, David? David: 9:06 I know what it means at night, and I know what it means during the day. And during the day, for us, it&#39;s gonna mean you can have a place to change your kid&#39;s diaper. Gavin: 9:14 You don&#39;t have to bail just because your kid decided I don&#39;t need to pee or poop before leaving the house in the morning. And then those assholes have to pee or poop the second they arrive. David: 9:23 So there is a restroom there, yes. So we hope, listener, you join us. Um, we hope somebody joins us, and if it&#39;s just us, it&#39;ll be a great reason for Gabe and I to get together. So just one lesson. We&#39;re gonna say this every episode until it&#39;s over. But Saturday, June 28th from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park, New York City. Anyway, um, so moving on. You were waiting for me to put a hat on that. But I realized I have no, I have nothing for you today. Okay, so I have a question for you. Tell me. You know, and I&#39;ve said this since I think maybe episode one or two, is that I&#39;m a big believer that we as parents have to put our mask on before we put the mask on our children. We have to make sure we are fully functioning people to be great parents to our kids. And one of the ways that I did this, my husband and I did this in infant, not in infancy, but like the first couple of years was we tried every Sunday, which meant every other Sunday and sometimes one Sunday a month, to get a babysitter for a couple of hours, even if that meant we just went to the basement and like watched a movie or something. Right. Because we needed that refill. Yeah. Well, so we have been really bad about it for like this whole year. We have not barely done it at all, other than like special times. And we&#39;ve decided we we at least for the next month or two, we want to do it again every Sunday because we haven&#39;t even like we can&#39;t even, we don&#39;t even have time to shop for socks. Yeah, like my husband&#39;s like, I need socks. I&#39;m like, who&#39;s gonna buy it? I don&#39;t know. So we&#39;re gonna do it again. And so we planned every Sunday for the next month for three hours on Sunday, we&#39;re getting a babysitter. Nice. Like my kids are pissed. And so now my husband and I had this conversation of like, we&#39;re feeling guilty. We&#39;re like, is this too much time? Are we ruining our kids&#39; lives? Rip that band because now they&#39;re old enough to like care whether we&#39;re not at home and they want us to be home all the time. SPEAKER_03: 11:15 No, we see these fuckers all the fucking time. Gavin: 11:18 And those fuckers see you guys as fuckers all the time. And why don&#39;t they need a break from you, frankly? I mean, listen, uh now I&#39;m at the point where my kids are kind of like, please don&#39;t come home ever. Please don&#39;t come, please don&#39;t. We will eat ramen. We will just open some spaghettios and eat it cold. We don&#39;t need you home. Anyway, you&#39;ll see, you&#39;ll see. But so have you found a solution to just abandoning your children? David: 11:42 Oh, good. No, we&#39;re doing it. We&#39;re doing it, but we were just like having this, we were walking after lunch, and I was just like, I&#39;m starting to feel a little guilty because our kids are like, No, I want to be with you. And I&#39;m like, I want to go to Macy&#39;s and look at blazers more than I want to spend time with that children. That&#39;s not true, but but but we&#39;re getting back into it because we were, we were, you know, we were trying to schedule a trip and we were trying to do this off. We were like, when are we gonna do this? Because we put the last one to bed and we come downstairs at nine. Uh I&#39;m in bed at 9.27. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have a 27-minute window to like talk to my husband about anything by ourselves. And he will have fallen asleep by the end of the day. And he&#39;s asleep immediately. I can always tell when we&#39;re watching TV and he goes in a very specific position on the couch where he like has a blanket, but he like wraps his little hand around a pillow, and I always laugh. I&#39;m like, oh, is that your awake position? Um, anyway, um, tell me some good news. I need some good news in my life. Gavin: 12:35 There is some news in the the in the world right now to be to celebrate. And it falls under the line of, ha ha, that came back to bite you in the ass, didn&#39;t it? So the Iowa legislature signed a bill that&#39;s a don&#39;t say gay bill, right? Okay. And it is super vague and bullshitty, and it&#39;s uh it covers the entire gamut of blocking books and and not allowing teachers to be able to address the existence of what they would call alternative lifestyles, et cetera, right? Well, guess what? Somebody grew a pair and shot it down. And it was actually uh some peel, some folks appealed it, including the, I believe it was the Iowa ACLU and a major book publisher. It was Rand P Penguin Random House, also sued. And so there was a uh U.S. district court in the Southern District of Iowa judge who said, this is bullshit, and I say no. And it vi not only violates the First Amendment and freedom of speech and freedom of expression, but it also the law is just completely overly vague. So they shot it down. So I&#39;m like, you know, thank goodness for talk about the first line of um defense we have right now. It&#39;s all about attorneys. I mean, if I ever wished stronger than having a uh law degree, it is definitely uh, you know, I&#39;m wishing for it right now. David: 13:52 And then also, I need to pause because this is just while you&#39;re pausing, we should tell our listener if you&#39;re looking for places to donate, ACLU. Yeah. Right? Like a great place to put your money because I feel like at the end of the year, we&#39;re always feeling guilty. We&#39;re like, we did nothing for charity. And then we&#39;re like, all right, what where should we put a hundred bucks, 200 bucks? And we&#39;re always like, I don&#39;t know, HRC, which is a great one. Yeah, Trevor Project. But then I always forget ACLU. Gavin: 14:16 Those attorneys they&#39;re fighting the good fight. They&#39;re really fighting the...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David loves his kids more when they&apos;re sick, Gavin has some gay news, we finally did it and scheduled a listener meetup, we rank the top 3 Olympic sports for the gay male gaze, and this week we are joined by author and Grecian marble statue Daryl Calfee who talks to us about his new book, &#34;Let&apos;s Skip the Bull: Lessons from Dad after your Mom died,&apos; what he learned as a man from West Virginia living in NYC, and what version 2.0 of Daryl looks like, without going to jail.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Tell me the top three most cliche ways. Something about pride. Um, like the biggest bullshit, the bullshit ways people celebrate pride or corporations celebrate pride, or Gavin. David: 0:17 I want you to know that 82% of our cold opens are just me. Trying to work out the top three lists. Gavin: 0:24 I am aware of that because I do listen and I&#39;m okay with it with the the the hole that I am digging here. David: 0:32 Um the hole. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week has been a week where I darkly have enjoyed my daughter being very sick because she has had some sort of like stomach bug thing, but like a light, like poopy a little bit, kind of cramping, not just not uncomforta not comfortable. And my daughter is not cuddly. So she&#39;s been really cuddly. She just wants to lay on me. So I&#39;ve been like, oh, I I won the lottery, the parent lottery, because all we&#39;re doing yesterday is we&#39;re laying around. She just wants to lay on top of me. She&#39;s putting all her weight on me, but she&#39;s not sick, sick, where she&#39;s like coughing in my face or throwing up or doing anything. So I was like, oh, I have won the lottery until that sound. The sound where she starts to cry and cough a little bit, but it&#39;s a different kind of cough. Uh-huh. It you just it&#39;s like those of you who have dogs know the sound I&#39;m talking about. Yes, I&#39;m equating children to dogs. And not the first time. She started, she sat up and she started crying, and then she started coughing, and I went, Oh, is this? And then she just projectile vomited all over me, all over the bed. And then she&#39;s crying because she&#39;s throwing up. Yeah. And I&#39;m trying to comfort her while in my head going, oh my god, I&#39;m covered in a three-year-old&#39;s vomit, and trying to like maintain my sense of calm while also being so fucking disgusted that this happened. SPEAKER_03: 2:26 And then she just wants to be held. Gavin: 2:29 Oh, well, and just she wants to lay in her own sick on your chest. David: 2:35 I&#39;m doing the I&#39;m doing the acting role of a lifetime by being so calm and I&#39;m you saying, It&#39;s totally fine. SPEAKER_03: 2:42 Don&#39;t worry about it. Daddy will shower later, we&#39;ll clean up, like, don&#39;t worry about it inside. David: 2:48 I&#39;m like, don&#39;t fucking touch me. Don&#39;t fucking touch me. This is disgusting. Oh, yeah. I think I got punished for kind of being happy that my kid was a little bit sick because I was getting cuddles. Gavin: 2:59 You were celebrating the joy and the gratitude, and look what it gets you. Absolutely pointless. Um never again. Are you an immediate recoil from barf person? I know we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I forget. David: 3:11 My husband and I are literally our dividing line is the belly button. For whatever reason, anything above the neck, boogers, ear stuff, vomit, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. Grosses me out so badly, and it doesn&#39;t affect my husband. And the reverse is true. We&#39;re like, poop he, like, I don&#39;t, it just doesn&#39;t bother me. And my husband&#39;s a little like, uh, why don&#39;t you deal with that? So it works out usually. Yeah. But when I&#39;m the like, he&#39;ll just like reach in my kid&#39;s ear and like pull stuff out. It&#39;s so gross. But luckily, we&#39;re a go]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David loves his kids more when they&apos;re sick, Gavin has some gay news, we finally did it and scheduled a listener meetup, we rank the top 3 Olympic sports for the gay male gaze, and this week we are joined by author and Grecian marble statue Daryl Calfee who talks to us about his new book, &#34;Let&apos;s Skip the Bull: Lessons from Dad after your Mom died,&apos; what he learned as a man from West Virginia living in NYC, and what version 2.0 of Daryl looks like, without going to jail.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Tell me the top three most cliche ways. Something about pride. Um, like the biggest bullshit, the bullshit ways people celebrate pride or corporations celebrate pride, or Gavin. David: 0:17 I want you to know that 82% of our cold opens are just me. Trying to work out the top three lists. Gavin: 0:24 I am aware of that because I do lis]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with YA fantasy author S.W. Kent</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-ya-fantasy-author-s-w-kent/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 May 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets snubbed at his sons concert, both of our kids are liars, David brings back &#34;what would you do?,&#34; Pride is next month and we&apos;ve planned nothing, we rank the top 3 things we are dreading about summer, and this week we are joined by YA author S.W. Kent where we discuss getting our kids to read, what his life was like as a DEI executive, giving gay teens the stories they want, and if they sell t-shirts in his size. (They do not). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And I want to know what were the three times that the three moments that you laughed at most. SPEAKER_03: 0:07 I sometimes I am so so bad at this. So bad at this. Why am I so bad at this? Sometimes. David: 0:18 I want to know. And this is Gate Triox. So Kevin, you know that I have been looking forward to concert plays like from my kid since he was born. Gavin: 0:43 Since before you were a parent. David: 0:45 Literally before I was a parent, I dreamed about like going to the school play. Your kid is the tree in the back, and you&#39;re super proud of him. So we&#39;ve only done one, and that was a couple months ago, it was the spring concert, and he was like, you know, ground leg number four in the back, no lines, just like nobody. Just living out your dreams already. Already, but he had like no lines. I was like, okay. So anyway, living out my dreams, it was great. Well, this past week was the Memorial Day concert. Uh-huh. And he had a big long line. Oh boy. At the end of the show that closed it out. Like it was a big, it was a big solo. So I was really excited. So we get there. We are obviously front row. We are front row. Like counts out. SPEAKER_03: 1:28 Hilarious. Gavin: 1:29 I am just I have a no front row policy in my life. Just entirely in my life. And in terms of, I feel like everybody around me is expecting me to be such a show dad. So I suppose I&#39;m just like catering to them by not giving them what they want. But anyway, please continue in your front rowness. David: 1:46 Yes. So I&#39;m front rowness. They start walking the kids in. Everyone&#39;s excited. You know, cameras are out. They start leading the kindergartners in. And then I see my son, Emm. And I&#39;m like so excited. I wave at him. My husband waves at him. He sees us, and then he immediately turns his head away and will not make eye contact with us at all. Meanwhile, every other child is like big waving to their parents, everyone saying, Hi, honey. He is like putting a fan. He is like an eighth grader in a kindergartner&#39;s body. And then they like line them up and they sit them down for the beginning of the concert. And where they happen to sit my child directly in front of us. Uh-huh. We tap his shoulder, we say, Hi, Emmet. He won&#39;t turn around. He refuses to look at us the whole fucking concert. I&#39;m speechless. And now I&#39;m mad. Now I&#39;m like, well, you know what? Fuck your concert. How about that? How about you take this line of yours and go fuck it up? I don&#39;t care. I was like, I was, I was kind of hurt because I was like, this shouldn&#39;t happen until middle school. You&#39;re not supposed to be embarrassed by me. Yes. And he did his line and he was great. I was, I was sure he was going to be the kid who walked up to the mic and just shot vomit out everywhere. But he was great. And afterwards, we picked him up from school and I was like, hey, buddy. And I was trying not to like shame him. Right. Trying to trying not to make it about you and your snowflaky feelings. But it was totally about me and my snowflaky feelings. And I was like, hey, how you know, what did you think about Papa and I at school today? And he was like, it was cool. I said, because it seemed like you weren&#39;t happy to see us. And he was like, no, I was happy. And you could just the wheels in my head were turning. I was like, fight your ego, David, fight your ego. But I was like, legitimately, like all the other kids were turning around, having to be told by the teachers, no, you can&#39;t go to your parents. My son would not make eye contact with me. So that was my Memorial Day concert with my kindergartner who hates me now. Wow. Gavin: 3:50 I mean, who hates you and also kind of lied to you. Like the wheels in his head were turning to be like, oh, I don&#39;t want my dad to feel bad. But he, yeah. David: 3:58 I was like, either you ignored me at the concert or you were happy to have me here. Which is it? I&#39;m like pressing him up against a wall. I was like, answer the question. So you know what? Gavin: 4:08 We had a lying moment this week that was not cool. Um where uh the the children protecting us, supposedly, and our feelings or whatever. Um, so I don&#39;t know. I actually can&#39;t remember if we have discussed the fact that child protective services should be called on me because of the birthday present that we gave our son, which is essentially a motorcycle. Have we discussed this? No. Okay, well, he wants an e-bike, wanted an e-bike. It was the only thing he wanted. Please don&#39;t get me anything else. I don&#39;t want anything. I don&#39;t want clothes, I don&#39;t want gift cards, I don&#39;t want anything. I just want an e-bike. And we do live in a very hilly area, also note to self. It&#39;s very hilly with blind corners and stuff, and we shouldn&#39;t be letting our career on those channels. But you know what? Hey, he&#39;s he&#39;s 12. He, you know, we did it in the 80s. That that&#39;s he&#39;s had a good run. Do you know what I mean? Like, that can be my defense, right? Yeah, yeah. We did it in the 80s. Anyway, he does always have a helmet. I do trust him. He&#39;s careful. I suppose, you know, you can&#39;t trust the other people. Anyway, point being, he rode to his friend&#39;s house, up and down some hills, up and down some hills, on his on his e-bike, which is a motorcycle. When I think of an e-bike, I think of the delivery, the food delivery people in New York who theoretically have to like at least pedal to get started. I guess I&#39;m thinking of city bikes. You have to pedal to get them started, but you don&#39;t just sit back and pull the throttle, right? Well, this is I apparently those food delivery people are just pull the throttle and that&#39;s it. It is a motorcycle. Well, that&#39;s what we got our kid, and I thought you had to pedal it to do. So I&#39;m an idiot. And um, so he goes to his friend&#39;s house and he comes, they come back in tandem, like one kid, the both kids on the motorcycle. And my partner stopped him and was like, uh, we already discussed this. You can&#39;t ride two kids on the it says on the box, do not do this. Plus, let&#39;s not forget the fact that you are 12. Uh, this is a motorcycle, this is a dangerous thing. You&#39;re on these scary roads, et cetera, et cetera. The way they both, his friend and my son, twisted themselves in knots to be like, oh no, no, um, no, no, no, no. We were taking turns, and one of us would run alongside the bike while the other pedaled it um up and down the hills because we know it&#39;s dangerous. And so, and it was just around the corner at the mailboxes that we that we both hopped on just because we were tired, and you were like it&#39;s adorable to watch them try to lie, and you&#39;re like, you&#39;re so bad at this. You&#39;re so bad at this. This was not a Meryl Streep uh performance whatsoever. So yeah, contorting themselves to lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 6:43 Anyway, have you ridden that bike yet drunk? Because I feel like that&#39;s something you&#39;re gonna do. You&#39;re gonna have like your box of your nightly box of wine. Of frenzia. Oh, totally. And then you&#39;re just gonna go, you know what? I can do this. I&#39;m still young. And then Gavin&#39;s in the hospital. Um, Gavin, um, I actually have something for you. I have uh what would you do? My God, it&#39;s been so long. Uh how has listener not reached out to us complaining? Every time you sing that, we lose literally a hundred listener every single time. Um, so this is something that I think my husband and I disagree on, and I feel very strongly about, and I I see both sides in the world. So my question is cursing in front of kids. I am a believer that kids should adults should be acts kind of you know within reason, the way they want to act, and kids should learn that adults have words they can say and kids have words they can say. I should be able to curse in front of my child and not and them understand eventually that those are adult words, those are not kid words. And we&#39;ve been a little bit struggling with this because my son is starting to pick up on it, but he&#39;ll go, he&#39;ll say things like, Yeah, Hannah, my daughter, Hannah, you can&#39;t say bad words. Um, only grown-ups can say those words. Words like shit, fuck. I&#39;m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, but he&#39;s he doesn&#39;t think he&#39;s cursing, he&#39;s just trying to explain to her he&#39;s the learning. Yeah, exactly. So my question to you is, Gavin, in a situation where you want to curse, but your kids are young, what would you do? What would you do? Gavin: 8:28 Uh I have not held back in bad words when appropriate and necessary for the situation. I always feel a little shameful about it. And I don&#39;t think it&#39;s great. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s this is the word I&#39;m gonna use. And what I say to my kids is listen, it&#39;s just not classy. If you&#39;re gonna say for them to curse, or you to curse. Oh, and for me, it&#39;s not classy for me either. You know, as my grandmother said, or this is the excuse that I made up for myself, um, that if you&#39;re if you&#39;re cursing, it&#39;s because you&#39;re too stupid to think of another word to say. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s lazy, it&#39;s sheer laziness, and it&#39;s definitely not classy. Now, I fucking have no class whatsoever. David: 9:11 But I every week I have to check the box that says explicit on this podcast. Every week I check that box on the podcast distributor. Gavin: 9:20 No, uh do you think we&#39;d get in scandalous trouble and get lots of attention and be on the front pages of the New York Post if you unclicked it and then somebody tried to sue us for our bad language? David: 9:30 No, but I have I did have an idea this week about maybe we should do a kid friendly episode because I do know a lot of listeners will listen to this show in the car with their like super young kids who can&#39;t understand it, like you know, two-year-olds. Right. But I bet we have a lot of listener with kids, maybe who they&#39;re like, you know, we&#39;re not gonna listen to this in the car, but maybe we should do like a kid friendly episode. I don&#39;t know what that would be. I think it would be just mostly silence, but um, but that&#39;s an idea. Anyway, so I I you don&#39;t think I should curse in front of my kids. Gavin: 9:58 No, I don&#39;t. I think you should try not to. I think you should try not to. Okay, you&#39;re wrong. It&#39;s okay. Well, Brian&#39;s right. And being able to show some self-control, I think, is a good thing. So self-control is not to say that&#39;s not to say that I have it all the time. Hell no. I mean, I&#39;m the one with the child who said the real meaning of um Christmas was Jesus fucking Christ when she was what, four? David: 10:23 It&#39;s always the shoemaker&#39;s children who go barefoot. You know what I mean? Gavin: 10:27 So um I think having a little decorum is a good thing for you to strive for, you trashy piece of shit. You can take the boy out of Florida, is all I&#39;m going to say. But uh that&#39;s gonna come back up later in the episode. Anyway. David: 10:41 Um, so this this is there&#39;s no reason for me to even start this line of discussion because there&#39;s nothing to follow it. But Pride is next month, everyone. It is May 28th today, and Pride is next month. And I&#39;m sure you guys understand that Gavin and I have worked tirelessly to provide an entire menu of Pride-themed episodes and events and everything. Gavin: 11:05 Um we&#39;ve been really super organized about this. David: 11:07 But I will I will say that we are in talks with some other groups to possibly get this gay dads, gay triarch meetup thing in Manhattan happening, hopefully by the end of the month, uh, by the end of June. Um, it&#39;s probably not gonna happen because we just started talking about it today. Gavin: 11:25 And because the biggest roadblocks are getting a liquor license, but uh for a playground in a public uh venue in Central Park. David: 11:32 Yeah, but just know that we&#39;re trying, and by trying, I mean we discuss it once a week for about 10 seconds. Gavin: 11:38 So that&#39;s but if you have suggestions or if all of you listener um feel really strongly about it, please let us know. And um anybody want to help? Could we get a volunteer to pull something together for a while? David: 11:49 I think what we should just do is just choose a date and time and say we&#39;re gonna meet at this playground in Central Park from 10 to 1 or whatever. Come if you want. And if if it&#39;s just you and I and our kids, then it&#39;s just you and I and our kids. Um all the easier we will not get arrested for having booze in public. I would say No, I think we&#39;re just gonna wrap the booze in some sort of like Kirkland water bottle thing and we&#39;ll just call it a day. Gavin: 12:11 You know, I will say though, a shout out to our friend Peter Lindner Lindner, uh, friend of the pod, who is one of the main volunteers for the Pride March. I mean, that was a celeb, y&#39;all. Remember that back in episode 47 or something? Yeah, yeah. I mean, he really is critical to the Pride March in New York. And he, I will shout out that there is a big rally on the morning of Saturday, the hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Saturday, I believe it&#39;s the 28th. 29th. David: 12:44 Yeah. Gavin: 12:44 No, no, the 28th. Saturday, the 28th. There&#39;s gonna be a big rally, an amazing youth trans rally at the South Street Seaport on that morning. So I do feel like we&#39;re gonna put this out there in the public. I do think that we should be there for that. Uh it would be good. David: 12:58 Seaports so far down. So it might have been. Did they do it in Midtown? I mean, um, no, not Queens. It might as well be fucking Staten Island. Look how close you are. Oh my god. That&#39;s true. That&#39;s um, that is not incorrect. So, listener, we&#39;re gonna try and we&#39;ll see what happens. I don&#39;t know what&#39;s gonna happen. But um, Gavin yelled at me as we were prepping this episode and said, we gotta have a dilf of the week. Just choose somebody. And so I just Googled hot political leaders across the world. And number four was our dilf of the week. Um, and that is Prince, I don&#39;t know how to say this, Amadeo. I mean, that is so Star Wars, you know. Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Um, he is he&#39;s giving me like early Prince William vibes. Like Harry. Yeah. With with the hair, I mean, is on top of it. Prince Harry has been in my spank bank for a decade. That man is so hot. But anyway, um, we&#39;ll probably not post this during the episode, but we&#39;re we&#39;re gonna plan on printing uh posting Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Um, he&#39;s very hot, and that&#39;s our Dilf of the Week. What a what a lame Dilf of the week. I I mean, I don&#39;t think that&#39;s a lame dilf of the week. It&#39;s lame because I was lazy. I just grabbed somebody. I was like, you hope somebody&#39;s in the political scene. We are here. Gavin: 14:11 Yeah, but we are informing people and educating them, and nobody on this pod. Listener did not know who Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Belgium....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets snubbed at his sons concert, both of our kids are liars, David brings back &#34;what would you do?,&#34; Pride is next month and we&apos;ve planned nothing, we rank the top 3 things we are dreading about summer, and this week we are]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets snubbed at his sons concert, both of our kids are liars, David brings back &#34;what would you do?,&#34; Pride is next month and we&apos;ve planned nothing, we rank the top 3 things we are dreading about summer, and this week we are joined by YA author S.W. Kent where we discuss getting our kids to read, what his life was like as a DEI executive, giving gay teens the stories they want, and if they sell t-shirts in his size. (They do not). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And I want to know what were the three times that the three moments that you laughed at most. SPEAKER_03: 0:07 I sometimes I am so so bad at this. So bad at this. Why am I so bad at this? Sometimes. David: 0:18 I want to know. And this is Gate Triox. So Kevin, you know that I have been looking forward to concert plays like from my kid since he was born. Gavin: 0:43 Since before you were a parent. David: 0:45 Literally before I was a parent, I dreamed about like going to the school play. Your kid is the tree in the back, and you&#39;re super proud of him. So we&#39;ve only done one, and that was a couple months ago, it was the spring concert, and he was like, you know, ground leg number four in the back, no lines, just like nobody. Just living out your dreams already. Already, but he had like no lines. I was like, okay. So anyway, living out my dreams, it was great. Well, this past week was the Memorial Day concert. Uh-huh. And he had a big long line. Oh boy. At the end of the show that closed it out. Like it was a big, it was a big solo. So I was really excited. So we get there. We are obviously front row. We are front row. Like counts out. SPEAKER_03: 1:28 Hilarious. Gavin: 1:29 I am just I have a no front row policy in my life. Just entirely in my life. And in terms of, I feel like everybody around me is expecting me to be such a show dad. So I suppose I&#39;m just like catering to them by not giving them what they want. But anyway, please continue in your front rowness. David: 1:46 Yes. So I&#39;m front rowness. They start walking the kids in. Everyone&#39;s excited. You know, cameras are out. They start leading the kindergartners in. And then I see my son, Emm. And I&#39;m like so excited. I wave at him. My husband waves at him. He sees us, and then he immediately turns his head away and will not make eye contact with us at all. Meanwhile, every other child is like big waving to their parents, everyone saying, Hi, honey. He is like putting a fan. He is like an eighth grader in a kindergartner&#39;s body. And then they like line them up and they sit them down for the beginning of the concert. And where they happen to sit my child directly in front of us. Uh-huh. We tap his shoulder, we say, Hi, Emmet. He won&#39;t turn around. He refuses to look at us the whole fucking concert. I&#39;m speechless. And now I&#39;m mad. Now I&#39;m like, well, you know what? Fuck your concert. How about that? How about you take this line of yours and go fuck it up? I don&#39;t care. I was like, I was, I was kind of hurt because I was like, this shouldn&#39;t happen until middle school. You&#39;re not supposed to be embarrassed by me. Yes. And he did his line and he was great. I was, I was sure he was going to be the kid who walked up to the mic and just shot vomit out everywhere. But he was great. And afterwards, we picked him up from school and I was like, hey, buddy. And I was trying not to like shame him. Right. Trying to trying not to make it about you and your snowflaky feelings. But it was totally about me and my snowflaky feelings. And I was like, hey, how you know, what did you think about Papa and I at school today? And he was like, it was cool. I said, because it seemed like you weren&#39;t happy to see us. And he was like, no, I was happy. And you could just the wheels in my head were turning. I was like, fight your ego, David, fight your ego. But I was like, legitimately, like all the other kids were turning around, having to be told by the teachers, no, you can&#39;t go to your parents. My son would not make eye contact with me. So that was my Memorial Day concert with my kindergartner who hates me now. Wow. Gavin: 3:50 I mean, who hates you and also kind of lied to you. Like the wheels in his head were turning to be like, oh, I don&#39;t want my dad to feel bad. But he, yeah. David: 3:58 I was like, either you ignored me at the concert or you were happy to have me here. Which is it? I&#39;m like pressing him up against a wall. I was like, answer the question. So you know what? Gavin: 4:08 We had a lying moment this week that was not cool. Um where uh the the children protecting us, supposedly, and our feelings or whatever. Um, so I don&#39;t know. I actually can&#39;t remember if we have discussed the fact that child protective services should be called on me because of the birthday present that we gave our son, which is essentially a motorcycle. Have we discussed this? No. Okay, well, he wants an e-bike, wanted an e-bike. It was the only thing he wanted. Please don&#39;t get me anything else. I don&#39;t want anything. I don&#39;t want clothes, I don&#39;t want gift cards, I don&#39;t want anything. I just want an e-bike. And we do live in a very hilly area, also note to self. It&#39;s very hilly with blind corners and stuff, and we shouldn&#39;t be letting our career on those channels. But you know what? Hey, he&#39;s he&#39;s 12. He, you know, we did it in the 80s. That that&#39;s he&#39;s had a good run. Do you know what I mean? Like, that can be my defense, right? Yeah, yeah. We did it in the 80s. Anyway, he does always have a helmet. I do trust him. He&#39;s careful. I suppose, you know, you can&#39;t trust the other people. Anyway, point being, he rode to his friend&#39;s house, up and down some hills, up and down some hills, on his on his e-bike, which is a motorcycle. When I think of an e-bike, I think of the delivery, the food delivery people in New York who theoretically have to like at least pedal to get started. I guess I&#39;m thinking of city bikes. You have to pedal to get them started, but you don&#39;t just sit back and pull the throttle, right? Well, this is I apparently those food delivery people are just pull the throttle and that&#39;s it. It is a motorcycle. Well, that&#39;s what we got our kid, and I thought you had to pedal it to do. So I&#39;m an idiot. And um, so he goes to his friend&#39;s house and he comes, they come back in tandem, like one kid, the both kids on the motorcycle. And my partner stopped him and was like, uh, we already discussed this. You can&#39;t ride two kids on the it says on the box, do not do this. Plus, let&#39;s not forget the fact that you are 12. Uh, this is a motorcycle, this is a dangerous thing. You&#39;re on these scary roads, et cetera, et cetera. The way they both, his friend and my son, twisted themselves in knots to be like, oh no, no, um, no, no, no, no. We were taking turns, and one of us would run alongside the bike while the other pedaled it um up and down the hills because we know it&#39;s dangerous. And so, and it was just around the corner at the mailboxes that we that we both hopped on just because we were tired, and you were like it&#39;s adorable to watch them try to lie, and you&#39;re like, you&#39;re so bad at this. You&#39;re so bad at this. This was not a Meryl Streep uh performance whatsoever. So yeah, contorting themselves to lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. David: 6:43 Anyway, have you ridden that bike yet drunk? Because I feel like that&#39;s something you&#39;re gonna do. You&#39;re gonna have like your box of your nightly box of wine. Of frenzia. Oh, totally. And then you&#39;re just gonna go, you know what? I can do this. I&#39;m still young. And then Gavin&#39;s in the hospital. Um, Gavin, um, I actually have something for you. I have uh what would you do? My God, it&#39;s been so long. Uh how has listener not reached out to us complaining? Every time you sing that, we lose literally a hundred listener every single time. Um, so this is something that I think my husband and I disagree on, and I feel very strongly about, and I I see both sides in the world. So my question is cursing in front of kids. I am a believer that kids should adults should be acts kind of you know within reason, the way they want to act, and kids should learn that adults have words they can say and kids have words they can say. I should be able to curse in front of my child and not and them understand eventually that those are adult words, those are not kid words. And we&#39;ve been a little bit struggling with this because my son is starting to pick up on it, but he&#39;ll go, he&#39;ll say things like, Yeah, Hannah, my daughter, Hannah, you can&#39;t say bad words. Um, only grown-ups can say those words. Words like shit, fuck. I&#39;m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, but he&#39;s he doesn&#39;t think he&#39;s cursing, he&#39;s just trying to explain to her he&#39;s the learning. Yeah, exactly. So my question to you is, Gavin, in a situation where you want to curse, but your kids are young, what would you do? What would you do? Gavin: 8:28 Uh I have not held back in bad words when appropriate and necessary for the situation. I always feel a little shameful about it. And I don&#39;t think it&#39;s great. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s this is the word I&#39;m gonna use. And what I say to my kids is listen, it&#39;s just not classy. If you&#39;re gonna say for them to curse, or you to curse. Oh, and for me, it&#39;s not classy for me either. You know, as my grandmother said, or this is the excuse that I made up for myself, um, that if you&#39;re if you&#39;re cursing, it&#39;s because you&#39;re too stupid to think of another word to say. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s lazy, it&#39;s sheer laziness, and it&#39;s definitely not classy. Now, I fucking have no class whatsoever. David: 9:11 But I every week I have to check the box that says explicit on this podcast. Every week I check that box on the podcast distributor. Gavin: 9:20 No, uh do you think we&#39;d get in scandalous trouble and get lots of attention and be on the front pages of the New York Post if you unclicked it and then somebody tried to sue us for our bad language? David: 9:30 No, but I have I did have an idea this week about maybe we should do a kid friendly episode because I do know a lot of listeners will listen to this show in the car with their like super young kids who can&#39;t understand it, like you know, two-year-olds. Right. But I bet we have a lot of listener with kids, maybe who they&#39;re like, you know, we&#39;re not gonna listen to this in the car, but maybe we should do like a kid friendly episode. I don&#39;t know what that would be. I think it would be just mostly silence, but um, but that&#39;s an idea. Anyway, so I I you don&#39;t think I should curse in front of my kids. Gavin: 9:58 No, I don&#39;t. I think you should try not to. I think you should try not to. Okay, you&#39;re wrong. It&#39;s okay. Well, Brian&#39;s right. And being able to show some self-control, I think, is a good thing. So self-control is not to say that&#39;s not to say that I have it all the time. Hell no. I mean, I&#39;m the one with the child who said the real meaning of um Christmas was Jesus fucking Christ when she was what, four? David: 10:23 It&#39;s always the shoemaker&#39;s children who go barefoot. You know what I mean? Gavin: 10:27 So um I think having a little decorum is a good thing for you to strive for, you trashy piece of shit. You can take the boy out of Florida, is all I&#39;m going to say. But uh that&#39;s gonna come back up later in the episode. Anyway. David: 10:41 Um, so this this is there&#39;s no reason for me to even start this line of discussion because there&#39;s nothing to follow it. But Pride is next month, everyone. It is May 28th today, and Pride is next month. And I&#39;m sure you guys understand that Gavin and I have worked tirelessly to provide an entire menu of Pride-themed episodes and events and everything. Gavin: 11:05 Um we&#39;ve been really super organized about this. David: 11:07 But I will I will say that we are in talks with some other groups to possibly get this gay dads, gay triarch meetup thing in Manhattan happening, hopefully by the end of the month, uh, by the end of June. Um, it&#39;s probably not gonna happen because we just started talking about it today. Gavin: 11:25 And because the biggest roadblocks are getting a liquor license, but uh for a playground in a public uh venue in Central Park. David: 11:32 Yeah, but just know that we&#39;re trying, and by trying, I mean we discuss it once a week for about 10 seconds. Gavin: 11:38 So that&#39;s but if you have suggestions or if all of you listener um feel really strongly about it, please let us know. And um anybody want to help? Could we get a volunteer to pull something together for a while? David: 11:49 I think what we should just do is just choose a date and time and say we&#39;re gonna meet at this playground in Central Park from 10 to 1 or whatever. Come if you want. And if if it&#39;s just you and I and our kids, then it&#39;s just you and I and our kids. Um all the easier we will not get arrested for having booze in public. I would say No, I think we&#39;re just gonna wrap the booze in some sort of like Kirkland water bottle thing and we&#39;ll just call it a day. Gavin: 12:11 You know, I will say though, a shout out to our friend Peter Lindner Lindner, uh, friend of the pod, who is one of the main volunteers for the Pride March. I mean, that was a celeb, y&#39;all. Remember that back in episode 47 or something? Yeah, yeah. I mean, he really is critical to the Pride March in New York. And he, I will shout out that there is a big rally on the morning of Saturday, the hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Saturday, I believe it&#39;s the 28th. 29th. David: 12:44 Yeah. Gavin: 12:44 No, no, the 28th. Saturday, the 28th. There&#39;s gonna be a big rally, an amazing youth trans rally at the South Street Seaport on that morning. So I do feel like we&#39;re gonna put this out there in the public. I do think that we should be there for that. Uh it would be good. David: 12:58 Seaports so far down. So it might have been. Did they do it in Midtown? I mean, um, no, not Queens. It might as well be fucking Staten Island. Look how close you are. Oh my god. That&#39;s true. That&#39;s um, that is not incorrect. So, listener, we&#39;re gonna try and we&#39;ll see what happens. I don&#39;t know what&#39;s gonna happen. But um, Gavin yelled at me as we were prepping this episode and said, we gotta have a dilf of the week. Just choose somebody. And so I just Googled hot political leaders across the world. And number four was our dilf of the week. Um, and that is Prince, I don&#39;t know how to say this, Amadeo. I mean, that is so Star Wars, you know. Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Um, he is he&#39;s giving me like early Prince William vibes. Like Harry. Yeah. With with the hair, I mean, is on top of it. Prince Harry has been in my spank bank for a decade. That man is so hot. But anyway, um, we&#39;ll probably not post this during the episode, but we&#39;re we&#39;re gonna plan on printing uh posting Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Um, he&#39;s very hot, and that&#39;s our Dilf of the Week. What a what a lame Dilf of the week. I I mean, I don&#39;t think that&#39;s a lame dilf of the week. It&#39;s lame because I was lazy. I just grabbed somebody. I was like, you hope somebody&#39;s in the political scene. We are here. Gavin: 14:11 Yeah, but we are informing people and educating them, and nobody on this pod. Listener did not know who Prince Amadeo of Belgium. Belgium....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets snubbed at his sons concert, both of our kids are liars, David brings back &#34;what would you do?,&#34; Pride is next month and we&apos;ve planned nothing, we rank the top 3 things we are dreading about summer, and this week we are joined by YA author S.W. Kent where we discuss getting our kids to read, what his life was like as a DEI executive, giving gay teens the stories they want, and if they sell t-shirts in his size. (They do not). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And I want to know what were the three times that the three moments that you laughed at most. SPEAKER_03: 0:07 I sometimes I am so so bad at this. So bad at this. Why am I so bad at this? Sometimes. David: 0:18 I want to know. And this is Gate Triox. So Kevin, you know that I have been looking forward to concert plays like from my kid since he was born. Gavin: 0:43 Since before you were a parent. David: 0:45 Literally before I was a parent, I dreamed about like going to the school play. Your kid is the tree in the back, and you&#39;re super proud of him. So we&#39;ve only done one, and that was a couple months ago, it was the spring concert, and he was like, you know, ground leg number four in the back, no lines, just like nobody. Just living out your dreams already. Already, but he had like no lines. I was like, okay. So anyway, living out my dreams, it was great. Well, this past week was the Memorial Day concert. Uh-huh. And he had a big long line. Oh boy. At the end of the show that closed it out. Like it was a big, it was a big solo. So I was really excited. So we get there. We are obviously front row. We are front row. Like counts out. SPEAKER_03: 1:28 Hilarious. Gavin: 1:29 I am just I have a no front row policy in my life. Just entirely in my life. And in terms of, I feel like everybody around me is expecting me to be such a show dad. So I suppose I&#39;m just like catering to them by not giving them what they want. But anyway, please continue in your front rowness. David: 1:46 Yes. So I&#39;m front rowness. They start walking the kids in. Everyone&#39;s excited. You know, cameras are out. They start leading the kindergartners in. And then I see my son, Emm. And I&#39;m like so excited. I wave at him. My husband waves at him. He sees us, and then he immediately turns his head away and will not make eye contact with us at all. Meanwhile, every other child is like big waving to their parents, everyone saying, Hi, honey. He is like putting a fan. He is like an eighth grader in a kindergartner&#39;s body. And then they like line them up and they sit them down for the beginning of the concert. And where they happen to sit my child directly in front of us. Uh-huh. We tap his shoulder, we say, Hi, Emmet. He won&#39;t turn around. He refuses to look at us the whole fucking concert. I&#39;m speechless. And now I&#39;m mad. Now I&#39;m like, well, you know what? Fuck your concert. How about that? How about you take this line of yours and go fuck it up? I don&#39;t care. I was like, I was, I was kind of hurt because I was like, this shouldn&#39;t happen until middle school. You&#39;re not supposed to be embarrassed by me. Yes. And he did his line and he was great. I was, I was sure he was going to be the kid who walked up to the mic and just shot vomit out everywhere. But he was great. And afterwards, we picked him up from school and I was like, hey, buddy. And I was trying not to like shame him. Right. Trying to trying not to make it about you and your snowflaky feelings. But it was totally about me and my snowflaky feelings. And I was like, hey, how you know, what did you think about Papa and I at school today? And he was like, it was cool. I said, because it seemed like you weren&#39;t happy to see us. And he was like, no, I was happy. And you could just the wheels in my head were turning. I was like, fight your ego,]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets snubbed at his sons concert, both of our kids are liars, David brings back &#34;what would you do?,&#34; Pride is next month and we&apos;ve planned nothing, we rank the top 3 things we are dreading about summer, and this week we are joined by YA author S.W. Kent where we discuss getting our kids to read, what his life was like as a DEI executive, giving gay teens the stories they want, and if they sell t-shirts in his size. (They do not). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And I want to know what were the three times that the three moments that you laughed at most. SPEAKER_03: 0:07 I sometimes I am so so bad at this. So bad at this. Why am I so bad at this? Sometimes. David: 0:18 I want to know. And this is Gate Triox. So Kevin, you know that I have been looking forward to concert plays like from my kid since he was born. Gavin: 0:43 Since bef]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with comedian and podcaster Casey Balsham</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-comedian-and-podcaster-casey-balsham/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 21 May 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-17198041</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin fulfills his 1994 destiny, David is an absentee father, parents of siblings are given a free pass, we rank the top 3 Dave&apos;s, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster but actually funny comedian Casey Balsham who talks to us about IVF, being a pregnant parent, and all things Broadway.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Next week I want to hear about your top three biggest fears. No. You just start you just said the same thing last year. I did. What do you mean? Oh, fears? David: 0:10 No, you were just you were like, oh, let me say it in a better way. You were about to say it the exact same way. I did stop myself, at least. Halfway through the sentence that you had already read it. And this is gatriarch. Gavin: 0:36 So, David, I I trepidatiously stepped into the middle school on Friday night. And I was a dance decorator for my eighth grade daughter. David: 0:52 And let me tell you, first of all, she has been fulfilled. Gavin: 0:57 I was reliving all of my high school student council mid-90s dreams by being that guy now decorating for his daughter. Now, the way our school does it is the eighth graders get their exclusive little VIP section. So you&#39;re not decorating the entire gym or cafeteria, as it were, overheated, no windows, just sweaty mess, and not in the good way when we&#39;re talking about sixth, seventh, and eighth graders. Anyway, but I was ex- I was um I was the chair of the little, I don&#39;t know, dance committee for parents, not for kids. And yeah, I was it with the prophecy had, yes, it came home to roost. It was finally destiny. Your destiny. It was all meant to be. And so then I was there like serving pizza to the kids afterwards. And I do have to say it was hilarious that, of course, and unexpectedly and understandably, my daughter made no eye contact with me. Very intentionally did not make eye contact with me. Now there were like seven parents there, and we were all laughing, trying to be subtle and out of it and not, you know, intruding, but also marveling at one, how big our kids are, two, how much they hate us and don&#39;t want to be near us. But anyway, that was fun. And I felt like it was a win because my daughter actually complimented me, complimented me on the decorations, which was blacking out a hallway and um letting them draw on the walls with um with uh glow-in-the-dark light uh markers and whatnot. So that was a win. But what was an even bigger win earlier in the week was recently I discovered that my partner&#39;s phone uh translates or rather sends messages directly to the car without him being able to click on anything. So we&#39;ve suddenly had to be really careful about what we text or what I text him because everything gets read out automatically without you know, without anything, right? Which is very, very dangerous. David: 2:53 Please tongue punch my spark box. And you&#39;re like, wait, what, dad? Gavin: 2:57 What is that? Precisely, precisely, precisely. So uh just the other day though, I knew beginning of the week last week, I knew that she was in the car with him. In fact, both kids were. And so I texted something along the lines of I don&#39;t think I need to do a direct reading, but it was basically poopy poopy poop poop fart poop poop, nipple, nipple, fart, boobies, boobies, boobies, nipple, fart, poop, poop. David: 3:23 And then which is also your Gmail password. Gavin: 3:25 And then and then another poop, you know, just for comedic um response. And she texted back to me, Dad, that was inappropriate and rude. I loved it. David: 3:39 And I felt like that&#39;s a big win. That&#39;s a double win. That&#39;s a grand slam, I think, in sports, right? Two, I don&#39;t know, three, like that. Is it a birdie and eagle? That&#39;s really great. Yeah, I know I will struggle at middle exactly the position you&#39;re in, because I&#39;m gonna want to be the decorator, because that&#39;s also my destiny. Um, that is my prophecy. But I am gonna struggle with the balance of like being chill and making sure that my kid is not embarrassed so they can have the evening of their dreams. But also, I find joy in making my kid embarrassed. And the dark part of it. Really? Oh, that will change. Yeah. Gavin: 4:16 I do think that&#39;s a just you wait moment. I do think that you will have to I can&#39;t wait for us. David: 4:23 What if Britney&#39;s oops comes on? Like, I&#39;m expected not to dance in front of everyone. Like, that&#39;s that&#39;s cruel. I&#39;m right, I&#39;m a man of a certain age. Gavin: 4:33 Like, that&#39;s and and you know how to move your body too, in not uh not embarrassing ways. And so come on, you&#39;re setting a bar. David: 4:40 But no, but that would that would humiliate them, but also uh, yeah. Okay, so I&#39;m glad that you have the wins. That&#39;s really great. Usually these next my daughter stories end up in some sort of like she&#39;s not talking to me things. Double win. That&#39;s amazing. Totally. Um, I was also hero dad because I have been traveling so fucking much lately that when I swoop in, it&#39;s like daddy, daddy, daddy, he&#39;s the greatest daddy of the whole time because I haven&#39;t been yelling at them for weeks. And so it was so nice because I was gone um uh for a week and a half in LA and then a week uh in Wisconsin, and I just got back, and then you know, they run into my arms and they just want to be with me and they listen to me, and everything is yes, daddy. And it took about 11 minutes before I started yelling at them about something, and then they were crying, and then it was all back to what it was. Um But one of the uh one of the things that was so funny is like, you know, I was in a different time zone, and it&#39;s so hard to like coordinate like maybe a bed bedtime like FaceTime or just just trying to find and it just never happened. And one time I was going to bed and I was so far behind ours that they were all already asleep. And I turned on the monitor and I could see that my daughter was having a midnight meltdown. She woke up, she was confused, she was crying. My husband in there was trying to talk to her and she was having none of it. She&#39;s flopping on the ground. I can hear my husband&#39;s blood pressure rising, and I&#39;m just like, close up. Good night. And then I could just go to bed. So it was really, really lovely. But one of the things that happened that I feel like is good news for the gays and the kids of the world is that um it would the the event I was directing was a uh an award ceremony for high schoolers, and they have they all get in like dress, they all get dressed up. So they had gentlemen dressing rooms, they had ladies&#39; dressing rooms, and they had non-binary gender fluid. Okay and it was like normal, and there was all kinds of gender presentations, and it was not a big city, and I was like, you know, everyone seemed to be super like it was not even an issue. And so I was, I don&#39;t know, I was like, okay, maybe the kids are gonna be all right. Gavin: 6:45 Maybe the kids are gonna be all right. David: 6:46 Maybe that should have been my something great. Gavin: 6:49 No, I&#39;m sure you&#39;ll find something uh malty or um just an app, some your latest app obsession. David: 6:56 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s actually a song, it&#39;s a song, so it&#39;s it&#39;s just as as basic. Gavin: 6:59 So well, I have not thought about mine yet, so we&#39;ll have to see what I come up with in about 20 minutes. Yeah. Um, so last week, uh another one of my favorite podcasters and previous dilf of the week, I believe, Ezra Klein, had a very interesting um. Nope, nope, nope, take that back, take it all back. It wasn&#39;t on Ezra Klein. Who was it? It was just it&#39;s Mike, uh Mike uh not Brabiglio, that&#39;s the comedian, right? Mike um who does the daily on the New York Times. Clearly, you&#39;re not editing this out. I&#39;m confused. I listen to a lot of podcasts, okay? David: 7:34 Can you tell by the tone of my voice if I&#39;m editing out or not? You can, can&#39;t you? You know what I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll allow it. Gavin: 7:41 I&#39;m just gonna let Gavin flounder and look like an idiot. Anyway, I was listening to an interview last week with a woman, um, she&#39;s a New York Times magazine writer named Susan Dominus, and she just wrote a big article called The Secret Power of Siblings. And I suggest listening to this interview because you know what it does? Absolves us of any guilt or responsibility. David: 8:04 Okay, then now I&#39;m interested. Now I&#39;m interested in the other. Gavin: 8:06 Basically, the thesis is parents don&#39;t do shit. It&#39;s all about the siblings. David: 8:12 Like we try so we don&#39;t have an effect on our kids, but our they&#39;re okay. All right. Gavin: 8:17 Yes. Now, let&#39;s not consider right now, we can ponder another episode, uh, what that means for only children, like myself. But it is basically saying we try to helicopter, we try to control, we try to regulate, we try to educate, we try to inform, we try to. It all just basically comes down to siblings. And sometimes it&#39;s sibling rivalry, and sometimes it&#39;s sibling partnership. And I mean, she there were a lot of stories. I mean, basically, it it kind of made me think like a thesis can just be anything. It&#39;s like reading your horoscope at the end of the day, you know. She&#39;s like, look at the proof of all of this, where these four siblings really looked out for each other and they all went to Harvard and they&#39;re all, you know, Oscar Award winners or whatever, not Oscars, but Peelard&#39;s prize winners. Or then this family of three delinquents, they didn&#39;t get along at all and they all ended up delinquents. But look at the power of the siblings. I mean, listen, you can frame it however you want, but the main crux of it is that we&#39;re not responsible. None of it is our fault. Boom. So love it. David: 9:12 But like that&#39;s that&#39;s all I&#39;ve heard. I&#39;ve heard nothing else that you&#39;ve said other than it&#39;s not my fault. I wonder if there&#39;s like a similar parallel to, you know, how, like, they say, you know, when your kids are a little older, especially in teens, where they don&#39;t listen to you, but they will listen to other people&#39;s parents. So to make sure that the other people&#39;s parents in their lives are morally aligned with you. Um, so I wonder if that&#39;s like a similar thing where like they&#39;re not looking at the parents for any sort of leadership, but they are looking at people around them. Gavin: 9:37 Well, I definitely, you know what? I don&#39;t think I brought this up last week, but it is in the last couple of weeks. I had a conversation with somebody who we were lamenting being parents of teens. And the other guy, how was this? He said he had recently read a study where we would have more effect on our teens if we got our friends, the parents, if we got our friends to give the advice to the kids. Totally. Because the kids are so pre-programmed right now to flee the nest that they will listen to other people, but we&#39;re obviously pre-you know, they&#39;re just programmed to think we&#39;re idiots, obviously. So yeah. Um, speaking of um idiots, um, there&#39;s um a bunch of good news in the world right now. So I am happy to be back to being uh America&#39;s finest news source with a bunch of actually really good gay news, all right? I can&#39;t believe it. First of all, an appeals court in Florida has found that the drag ban is most likely unconstitutional. Now, the grounding for that is because it&#39;s impermissibly vague and that the drag shows are uh basically the you know the law said you can you can&#39;t be inappropriately close or in proximity to minors, which makes no sense, obviously, whatsoever. But um that might be repealed. So, hey, Florida, I mean you&#39;re doing it to begin. David: 10:47 Yeah, can I let our listener know that he spelled appeals apples in our document? It says apples court. And impermissibly is impemiscibly. Listen, I&#39;m a very, very fast typer and not accurate. So Gavin, when were you typing this? Um four seconds before we got on. Four seconds before we started recording. Okay, continue. That was that was great, that was great gay news. Okay. Gavin: 11:15 Number two, Sports Illustrated is featuring its very first lesbian cover girl. David: 11:20 How is that possible? Yeah, I mean, lesbians are all up in the oh, and out. Oh, I see. Gavin: 11:25 Out probably. I mean, I just put that copy on there, but they&#39;re touting it, you know, like it&#39;s kind of cool. David: 11:31 We love lesbians here at Gatriarchs. Gavin: 11:32 Obvious. And especially once, no, I wouldn&#39;t say once on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I would say sports illustrated. First of all, we&#39;ve now said Sports Illustrated four times. And it&#39;s the first four times that it&#39;s ever been mentioned, I would say, in 107 episodes, wouldn&#39;t you? David: 11:47 But I still am unsure of what Sports Illustrated is. I&#39;m just happy that a lesbian is the first to do something on the fan. I have literally no idea what Sports Illustrated is. Gavin: 11:55 And then I put this in under the category of good news because it&#39;s almost campy. It&#39;s just so fucking ridiculous. Senator Mike Lee of Utah is essentially introducing a bill to ban porn. Like it is so vague. They&#39;re, you know, protecting the kids from prurient um graphics and words and whatnot. And I mean, okay, admittedly, the the gay rag that I got this out of is making it look like they&#39;re banning porn, which is probably not even what Mike Lee would say, because you know Mike Lee has an uh, you know, OnlyFans page. David: 12:30 I I want to know what Mike Lee&#39;s search terms are on Pornhub. That&#39;s what I want to know. Totally. Gavin: 12:35 Totally. Nevertheless, we will definitely have to keep our eye on bill number. Ah, shoot, hold on. I should have had that ready. I sort of did, but this will be a really good listening experience for a listener. You&#39;re welcome. Okay. The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act. The IOTA. The IOTA, that seems like we could definitely have fun with the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act, IOTA. We&#39;ll think of that. Listener, tell us what you think IODA should really stand for. And we&#39;ll send it to Senators uh Mike Lee and Representative Mary Miller of Illinois. David: 13:09 Um I own dick&#39;s entities. The N doesn&#39;t count. Gavin: 13:15 Sort of. The T doesn&#39;t count. Yeah, the bill would amend the Communications Act of 1934 to redefine obscenity as any content that, quote, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest in nudity, sex, or excretion. Oh my God. Depicts, describes, or represents, they couldn&#39;t think of a third D word, actual or simulated sexual acts with the objective intent to arouse to delay or gratify the sex. I don&#39;t even need to finish the sentence. This is so fucking ridiculous. It is definitely a gay uh, excuse me, just a porn uh bill. How ridiculous. Well, Senator Mikeley, um, we&#39;ll get your iota in the end. Anyway. What does that mean? You&#39;ll get his iota in the end. Uh his intent. What was it already? I&#39;ve already forgotten what the name of the bill is, but they did were not creative in their acronym. That&#39;s for damn sure. David: 14:11 This is all you. You&#39;re the DILF of the week. I mean, you&#39;re you&#39;re just leading this whole episode. Okay. Well, you know what? Is excited about a Gain and led episode. Gavin: 14:19 I can&#39;t believe we&#39;ve actually gone three or four episodes into having a DILF of the week without talking about Mr. Matt Bomer. Yeah. Do you remember the first time you saw what was it, White Collar? David: 14:32 Did you ever see watch? No, I don&#39;t watch like the those are like grandpa shows, those little procedurally kind of like, do you know what I mean? It&#39;s like, oh, did you catch the most recent thing of like halt and catch fire? It&#39;s like, no, I didn&#39;t. What are you talking about? Gavin: 14:45 Um, but yes, I know, yes. I will never forget that time. And I was like, who the hell is that? And he was so quickly outed, wasn&#39;t he? Because he wasn&#39;t out when he started it, I don&#39;t think. Anyway, he was quickly outed and he was...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin fulfills his 1994 destiny, David is an absentee father, parents of siblings are given a free pass, we rank the top 3 Dave&apos;s, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster but actually funny comedian Casey Balsham who talks to us a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin fulfills his 1994 destiny, David is an absentee father, parents of siblings are given a free pass, we rank the top 3 Dave&apos;s, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster but actually funny comedian Casey Balsham who talks to us about IVF, being a pregnant parent, and all things Broadway.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Next week I want to hear about your top three biggest fears. No. You just start you just said the same thing last year. I did. What do you mean? Oh, fears? David: 0:10 No, you were just you were like, oh, let me say it in a better way. You were about to say it the exact same way. I did stop myself, at least. Halfway through the sentence that you had already read it. And this is gatriarch. Gavin: 0:36 So, David, I I trepidatiously stepped into the middle school on Friday night. And I was a dance decorator for my eighth grade daughter. David: 0:52 And let me tell you, first of all, she has been fulfilled. Gavin: 0:57 I was reliving all of my high school student council mid-90s dreams by being that guy now decorating for his daughter. Now, the way our school does it is the eighth graders get their exclusive little VIP section. So you&#39;re not decorating the entire gym or cafeteria, as it were, overheated, no windows, just sweaty mess, and not in the good way when we&#39;re talking about sixth, seventh, and eighth graders. Anyway, but I was ex- I was um I was the chair of the little, I don&#39;t know, dance committee for parents, not for kids. And yeah, I was it with the prophecy had, yes, it came home to roost. It was finally destiny. Your destiny. It was all meant to be. And so then I was there like serving pizza to the kids afterwards. And I do have to say it was hilarious that, of course, and unexpectedly and understandably, my daughter made no eye contact with me. Very intentionally did not make eye contact with me. Now there were like seven parents there, and we were all laughing, trying to be subtle and out of it and not, you know, intruding, but also marveling at one, how big our kids are, two, how much they hate us and don&#39;t want to be near us. But anyway, that was fun. And I felt like it was a win because my daughter actually complimented me, complimented me on the decorations, which was blacking out a hallway and um letting them draw on the walls with um with uh glow-in-the-dark light uh markers and whatnot. So that was a win. But what was an even bigger win earlier in the week was recently I discovered that my partner&#39;s phone uh translates or rather sends messages directly to the car without him being able to click on anything. So we&#39;ve suddenly had to be really careful about what we text or what I text him because everything gets read out automatically without you know, without anything, right? Which is very, very dangerous. David: 2:53 Please tongue punch my spark box. And you&#39;re like, wait, what, dad? Gavin: 2:57 What is that? Precisely, precisely, precisely. So uh just the other day though, I knew beginning of the week last week, I knew that she was in the car with him. In fact, both kids were. And so I texted something along the lines of I don&#39;t think I need to do a direct reading, but it was basically poopy poopy poop poop fart poop poop, nipple, nipple, fart, boobies, boobies, boobies, nipple, fart, poop, poop. David: 3:23 And then which is also your Gmail password. Gavin: 3:25 And then and then another poop, you know, just for comedic um response. And she texted back to me, Dad, that was inappropriate and rude. I loved it. David: 3:39 And I felt like that&#39;s a big win. That&#39;s a double win. That&#39;s a grand slam, I think, in sports, right? Two, I don&#39;t know, three, like that. Is it a birdie and eagle? That&#39;s really great. Yeah, I know I will struggle at middle exactly the position you&#39;re in, because I&#39;m gonna want to be the decorator, because that&#39;s also my destiny. Um, that is my prophecy. But I am gonna struggle with the balance of like being chill and making sure that my kid is not embarrassed so they can have the evening of their dreams. But also, I find joy in making my kid embarrassed. And the dark part of it. Really? Oh, that will change. Yeah. Gavin: 4:16 I do think that&#39;s a just you wait moment. I do think that you will have to I can&#39;t wait for us. David: 4:23 What if Britney&#39;s oops comes on? Like, I&#39;m expected not to dance in front of everyone. Like, that&#39;s that&#39;s cruel. I&#39;m right, I&#39;m a man of a certain age. Gavin: 4:33 Like, that&#39;s and and you know how to move your body too, in not uh not embarrassing ways. And so come on, you&#39;re setting a bar. David: 4:40 But no, but that would that would humiliate them, but also uh, yeah. Okay, so I&#39;m glad that you have the wins. That&#39;s really great. Usually these next my daughter stories end up in some sort of like she&#39;s not talking to me things. Double win. That&#39;s amazing. Totally. Um, I was also hero dad because I have been traveling so fucking much lately that when I swoop in, it&#39;s like daddy, daddy, daddy, he&#39;s the greatest daddy of the whole time because I haven&#39;t been yelling at them for weeks. And so it was so nice because I was gone um uh for a week and a half in LA and then a week uh in Wisconsin, and I just got back, and then you know, they run into my arms and they just want to be with me and they listen to me, and everything is yes, daddy. And it took about 11 minutes before I started yelling at them about something, and then they were crying, and then it was all back to what it was. Um But one of the uh one of the things that was so funny is like, you know, I was in a different time zone, and it&#39;s so hard to like coordinate like maybe a bed bedtime like FaceTime or just just trying to find and it just never happened. And one time I was going to bed and I was so far behind ours that they were all already asleep. And I turned on the monitor and I could see that my daughter was having a midnight meltdown. She woke up, she was confused, she was crying. My husband in there was trying to talk to her and she was having none of it. She&#39;s flopping on the ground. I can hear my husband&#39;s blood pressure rising, and I&#39;m just like, close up. Good night. And then I could just go to bed. So it was really, really lovely. But one of the things that happened that I feel like is good news for the gays and the kids of the world is that um it would the the event I was directing was a uh an award ceremony for high schoolers, and they have they all get in like dress, they all get dressed up. So they had gentlemen dressing rooms, they had ladies&#39; dressing rooms, and they had non-binary gender fluid. Okay and it was like normal, and there was all kinds of gender presentations, and it was not a big city, and I was like, you know, everyone seemed to be super like it was not even an issue. And so I was, I don&#39;t know, I was like, okay, maybe the kids are gonna be all right. Gavin: 6:45 Maybe the kids are gonna be all right. David: 6:46 Maybe that should have been my something great. Gavin: 6:49 No, I&#39;m sure you&#39;ll find something uh malty or um just an app, some your latest app obsession. David: 6:56 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s actually a song, it&#39;s a song, so it&#39;s it&#39;s just as as basic. Gavin: 6:59 So well, I have not thought about mine yet, so we&#39;ll have to see what I come up with in about 20 minutes. Yeah. Um, so last week, uh another one of my favorite podcasters and previous dilf of the week, I believe, Ezra Klein, had a very interesting um. Nope, nope, nope, take that back, take it all back. It wasn&#39;t on Ezra Klein. Who was it? It was just it&#39;s Mike, uh Mike uh not Brabiglio, that&#39;s the comedian, right? Mike um who does the daily on the New York Times. Clearly, you&#39;re not editing this out. I&#39;m confused. I listen to a lot of podcasts, okay? David: 7:34 Can you tell by the tone of my voice if I&#39;m editing out or not? You can, can&#39;t you? You know what I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll allow it. Gavin: 7:41 I&#39;m just gonna let Gavin flounder and look like an idiot. Anyway, I was listening to an interview last week with a woman, um, she&#39;s a New York Times magazine writer named Susan Dominus, and she just wrote a big article called The Secret Power of Siblings. And I suggest listening to this interview because you know what it does? Absolves us of any guilt or responsibility. David: 8:04 Okay, then now I&#39;m interested. Now I&#39;m interested in the other. Gavin: 8:06 Basically, the thesis is parents don&#39;t do shit. It&#39;s all about the siblings. David: 8:12 Like we try so we don&#39;t have an effect on our kids, but our they&#39;re okay. All right. Gavin: 8:17 Yes. Now, let&#39;s not consider right now, we can ponder another episode, uh, what that means for only children, like myself. But it is basically saying we try to helicopter, we try to control, we try to regulate, we try to educate, we try to inform, we try to. It all just basically comes down to siblings. And sometimes it&#39;s sibling rivalry, and sometimes it&#39;s sibling partnership. And I mean, she there were a lot of stories. I mean, basically, it it kind of made me think like a thesis can just be anything. It&#39;s like reading your horoscope at the end of the day, you know. She&#39;s like, look at the proof of all of this, where these four siblings really looked out for each other and they all went to Harvard and they&#39;re all, you know, Oscar Award winners or whatever, not Oscars, but Peelard&#39;s prize winners. Or then this family of three delinquents, they didn&#39;t get along at all and they all ended up delinquents. But look at the power of the siblings. I mean, listen, you can frame it however you want, but the main crux of it is that we&#39;re not responsible. None of it is our fault. Boom. So love it. David: 9:12 But like that&#39;s that&#39;s all I&#39;ve heard. I&#39;ve heard nothing else that you&#39;ve said other than it&#39;s not my fault. I wonder if there&#39;s like a similar parallel to, you know, how, like, they say, you know, when your kids are a little older, especially in teens, where they don&#39;t listen to you, but they will listen to other people&#39;s parents. So to make sure that the other people&#39;s parents in their lives are morally aligned with you. Um, so I wonder if that&#39;s like a similar thing where like they&#39;re not looking at the parents for any sort of leadership, but they are looking at people around them. Gavin: 9:37 Well, I definitely, you know what? I don&#39;t think I brought this up last week, but it is in the last couple of weeks. I had a conversation with somebody who we were lamenting being parents of teens. And the other guy, how was this? He said he had recently read a study where we would have more effect on our teens if we got our friends, the parents, if we got our friends to give the advice to the kids. Totally. Because the kids are so pre-programmed right now to flee the nest that they will listen to other people, but we&#39;re obviously pre-you know, they&#39;re just programmed to think we&#39;re idiots, obviously. So yeah. Um, speaking of um idiots, um, there&#39;s um a bunch of good news in the world right now. So I am happy to be back to being uh America&#39;s finest news source with a bunch of actually really good gay news, all right? I can&#39;t believe it. First of all, an appeals court in Florida has found that the drag ban is most likely unconstitutional. Now, the grounding for that is because it&#39;s impermissibly vague and that the drag shows are uh basically the you know the law said you can you can&#39;t be inappropriately close or in proximity to minors, which makes no sense, obviously, whatsoever. But um that might be repealed. So, hey, Florida, I mean you&#39;re doing it to begin. David: 10:47 Yeah, can I let our listener know that he spelled appeals apples in our document? It says apples court. And impermissibly is impemiscibly. Listen, I&#39;m a very, very fast typer and not accurate. So Gavin, when were you typing this? Um four seconds before we got on. Four seconds before we started recording. Okay, continue. That was that was great, that was great gay news. Okay. Gavin: 11:15 Number two, Sports Illustrated is featuring its very first lesbian cover girl. David: 11:20 How is that possible? Yeah, I mean, lesbians are all up in the oh, and out. Oh, I see. Gavin: 11:25 Out probably. I mean, I just put that copy on there, but they&#39;re touting it, you know, like it&#39;s kind of cool. David: 11:31 We love lesbians here at Gatriarchs. Gavin: 11:32 Obvious. And especially once, no, I wouldn&#39;t say once on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I would say sports illustrated. First of all, we&#39;ve now said Sports Illustrated four times. And it&#39;s the first four times that it&#39;s ever been mentioned, I would say, in 107 episodes, wouldn&#39;t you? David: 11:47 But I still am unsure of what Sports Illustrated is. I&#39;m just happy that a lesbian is the first to do something on the fan. I have literally no idea what Sports Illustrated is. Gavin: 11:55 And then I put this in under the category of good news because it&#39;s almost campy. It&#39;s just so fucking ridiculous. Senator Mike Lee of Utah is essentially introducing a bill to ban porn. Like it is so vague. They&#39;re, you know, protecting the kids from prurient um graphics and words and whatnot. And I mean, okay, admittedly, the the gay rag that I got this out of is making it look like they&#39;re banning porn, which is probably not even what Mike Lee would say, because you know Mike Lee has an uh, you know, OnlyFans page. David: 12:30 I I want to know what Mike Lee&#39;s search terms are on Pornhub. That&#39;s what I want to know. Totally. Gavin: 12:35 Totally. Nevertheless, we will definitely have to keep our eye on bill number. Ah, shoot, hold on. I should have had that ready. I sort of did, but this will be a really good listening experience for a listener. You&#39;re welcome. Okay. The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act. The IOTA. The IOTA, that seems like we could definitely have fun with the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act, IOTA. We&#39;ll think of that. Listener, tell us what you think IODA should really stand for. And we&#39;ll send it to Senators uh Mike Lee and Representative Mary Miller of Illinois. David: 13:09 Um I own dick&#39;s entities. The N doesn&#39;t count. Gavin: 13:15 Sort of. The T doesn&#39;t count. Yeah, the bill would amend the Communications Act of 1934 to redefine obscenity as any content that, quote, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest in nudity, sex, or excretion. Oh my God. Depicts, describes, or represents, they couldn&#39;t think of a third D word, actual or simulated sexual acts with the objective intent to arouse to delay or gratify the sex. I don&#39;t even need to finish the sentence. This is so fucking ridiculous. It is definitely a gay uh, excuse me, just a porn uh bill. How ridiculous. Well, Senator Mikeley, um, we&#39;ll get your iota in the end. Anyway. What does that mean? You&#39;ll get his iota in the end. Uh his intent. What was it already? I&#39;ve already forgotten what the name of the bill is, but they did were not creative in their acronym. That&#39;s for damn sure. David: 14:11 This is all you. You&#39;re the DILF of the week. I mean, you&#39;re you&#39;re just leading this whole episode. Okay. Well, you know what? Is excited about a Gain and led episode. Gavin: 14:19 I can&#39;t believe we&#39;ve actually gone three or four episodes into having a DILF of the week without talking about Mr. Matt Bomer. Yeah. Do you remember the first time you saw what was it, White Collar? David: 14:32 Did you ever see watch? No, I don&#39;t watch like the those are like grandpa shows, those little procedurally kind of like, do you know what I mean? It&#39;s like, oh, did you catch the most recent thing of like halt and catch fire? It&#39;s like, no, I didn&#39;t. What are you talking about? Gavin: 14:45 Um, but yes, I know, yes. I will never forget that time. And I was like, who the hell is that? And he was so quickly outed, wasn&#39;t he? Because he wasn&#39;t out when he started it, I don&#39;t think. Anyway, he was quickly outed and he was...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin fulfills his 1994 destiny, David is an absentee father, parents of siblings are given a free pass, we rank the top 3 Dave&apos;s, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster but actually funny comedian Casey Balsham who talks to us about IVF, being a pregnant parent, and all things Broadway.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Next week I want to hear about your top three biggest fears. No. You just start you just said the same thing last year. I did. What do you mean? Oh, fears? David: 0:10 No, you were just you were like, oh, let me say it in a better way. You were about to say it the exact same way. I did stop myself, at least. Halfway through the sentence that you had already read it. And this is gatriarch. Gavin: 0:36 So, David, I I trepidatiously stepped into the middle school on Friday night. And I was a dance decorator for my eighth grade daughter. David: 0:52 And let me tell you, first of all, she has been fulfilled. Gavin: 0:57 I was reliving all of my high school student council mid-90s dreams by being that guy now decorating for his daughter. Now, the way our school does it is the eighth graders get their exclusive little VIP section. So you&#39;re not decorating the entire gym or cafeteria, as it were, overheated, no windows, just sweaty mess, and not in the good way when we&#39;re talking about sixth, seventh, and eighth graders. Anyway, but I was ex- I was um I was the chair of the little, I don&#39;t know, dance committee for parents, not for kids. And yeah, I was it with the prophecy had, yes, it came home to roost. It was finally destiny. Your destiny. It was all meant to be. And so then I was there like serving pizza to the kids afterwards. And I do have to say it was hilarious that, of course, and unexpectedly and understandably, my daughter made no eye contact with me. Very intentionally did not make eye contact with me. Now there were like seven parents there, and we were all laughing, trying to be subtle and out of it and not, you know, intruding, but also marveling at one, how big our kids are, two, how much they hate us and don&#39;t want to be near us. But anyway, that was fun. And I felt like it was a win because my daughter actually complimented me, complimented me on the decorations, which was blacking out a hallway and um letting them draw on the walls with um with uh glow-in-the-dark light uh markers and whatnot. So that was a win. But what was an even bigger win earlier in the week was recently I discovered that my partner&#39;s phone uh translates or rather sends messages directly to the car without him being able to click on anything. So we&#39;ve suddenly had to be really careful about what we text or what I text him because everything gets read out automatically without you know, without anything, right? Which is very, very dangerous. David: 2:53 Please tongue punch my spark box. And you&#39;re like, wait, what, dad? Gavin: 2:57 What is that? Precisely, precisely, precisely. So uh just the other day though, I knew beginning of the week last week, I knew that she was in the car with him. In fact, both kids were. And so I texted something along the lines of I don&#39;t think I need to do a direct reading, but it was basically poopy poopy poop poop fart poop poop, nipple, nipple, fart, boobies, boobies, boobies, nipple, fart, poop, poop. David: 3:23 And then which is also your Gmail password. Gavin: 3:25 And then and then another poop, you know, just for comedic um response. And she texted back to me, Dad, that was inappropriate and rude. I loved it. David: 3:39 And I felt like that&#39;s a big win. That&#39;s a double win. That&#39;s a grand slam, I think, in sports, right? Two, I don&#39;t know, three, like that. Is it a birdie and eagle? That&#39;s really great. Yeah, I know I will struggle at middle exactly the position you&#39;re in, because I&#39;]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin fulfills his 1994 destiny, David is an absentee father, parents of siblings are given a free pass, we rank the top 3 Dave&apos;s, and this week we are joined by fellow podcaster but actually funny comedian Casey Balsham who talks to us about IVF, being a pregnant parent, and all things Broadway.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Next week I want to hear about your top three biggest fears. No. You just start you just said the same thing last year. I did. What do you mean? Oh, fears? David: 0:10 No, you were just you were like, oh, let me say it in a better way. You were about to say it the exact same way. I did stop myself, at least. Halfway through the sentence that you had already read it. And this is gatriarch. Gavin: 0:36 So, David, I I trepidatiously stepped into the middle school on Friday night. And I was a dance decorator for my eighth gra]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with musical theatre legend Stephen Oremus</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-musical-theatre-legend-stephen-oremus/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 14 May 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David takes big issue with our listener, there&apos;s a new potato in Rome, we rank the top 3 first world problems, and this week we are joined by musical theatre legend and gay Dad Stephen Oremus who chats with us about this extensive career, behind the scenes stories from the set of Wicked, and he defends himself when Gavin and David viciously attack him for not being affiliated, whatsoever, with Legally Blonde the musical. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Uh you know what else you forces me to do? God damn it, you ruined my you ruined my top three intro. God damn it. Gavin: 0:07 And this is K3 Arch. David: 0:23 Gaven, our listenership is out of control. And I I have I have I&#39;m taking issue with you listening. Gavin: 0:30 I&#39;m already laughing. I&#39;m over. David: 0:31 I have I&#39;m taking issue with you. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re listening to this show. Every time I encounter a listener in the wild or or or online, my first thought is, why are you listening to this show? What are you doing? Yes. So one of them was my mother who came to me and she said, I was just listening to your show. I have a question for you. And of course, I&#39;m already like, oh God, what does she want to know? What did I say that was disgusting? And she was like, She was like, What is Skibity toilet? Gavin: 0:59 Fantastic. David: 1:01 And then I have to explain to her what&#39;s I don&#39;t know I&#39;m I&#39;m 45. I don&#39;t know what skibbity toilet. Yeah, except that you don&#39;t even really know what it means. I don&#39;t even know what it is. And then also I had a listener that I uh ran into in LA who was telling me she was like, Oh yeah, like I I often will like buy the books of the people who come on your show. I&#39;ve bought in a couple books, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I was America&#39;s finest news source. We are, we are. But guys, you have to stop it. You have to stop listening to the show and buying the books of the people who come in here promote. It is, it is out of control. So I need everyone to stop. Gavin: 1:33 But thank you everybody for doing so. Yes, I heard on the I I was at my kids&#39; track meet just the other day, and I was saying something to my friend who is has been a regular listener. And he said, I was telling him about getting chickens, and he&#39;s like, I know you got chickens. I listened to the show. And I&#39;m like, Oh, that&#39;s right, I forgot. Shout out, Dave. Thank you. David: 1:50 I I mean, my first thought, again, maybe this is like you know, imposter syndrome or whatever, but every time somebody mentions they listen to the show, I go, my first thought is, what is wrong? Anyway, we love you, listener. Gavin: 2:02 Yes, we do, and we do not suffer from uh insecurity, frankly. Our egos are completely out of control. So thank you, and please spread the word and and send more people our way, right? Yeah, right. Buying books, even like should we start a book club, a gaterich book club? But Gabe, but you know I don&#39;t read. That&#39;s the problem. David: 2:20 That in fact is the unless you&#39;re talking about like the label of the poppers model. I don&#39;t read. Gavin: 2:25 But you do like to watch movies, right? I do, yeah. So my partner Todd um actually let me know about a movie. Uh he he shared this with me. That there&#39;s a, I believe it&#39;s a short film that is all about um gay soccer leagues. And I am so interested to see this, I believe, again, short film. I haven&#39;t done a lot of background for this, because why would I prepare anything in this uh for this? But the movie is called Mean Goals already. Oh, that&#39;s a great title. It&#39;s a colorful, quirky soccer comedy with a super queer cast. And watching the we&#39;ll have to link in our show notes that don&#39;t exist, but actually we can tweet it, like we have Twitter. Um, actually, I only know about it on blue sky. Anyway, uh, we&#39;ll have to put it out there somehow because it is a very funny comedy about, you know, the gay soccer leagues, I guess, of LA, and you know, the scrappy ones who were never any good, but they&#39;re gonna come out and beat the really big guys, you know, they&#39;re gonna go from bottom to top, etc. David: 3:27 All yes, all of that. Gavin: 3:28 Anyway, I thought that I and I immediately thought, oh, uh, this is some some bit of media that David would happily uh indulge in because it doesn&#39;t require reading. David: 3:38 So, you know, yeah, which I yeah, as we know, I don&#39;t do. But you know what&#39;s funny? I, when I lived in Hollywood, I went to a one gay dodgeball meet. Oh, yeah. Because they were like, oh, there&#39;s a date gay dodgeball league. It&#39;s so fun. It&#39;s and then we all go out to drinks later and we kiki, and I was like, this is for me. I love dodgeball, it&#39;s fun. We could just like everyone will just be like dancing to Shania Twain, yeah, whatever. Those motherfuckers are these muscle queens with rage, and they throw so hard that it hit me so hard I thought it was 1997. I was legitimately unsure of where I was, and I was like, fuck this noise. I did not come here for this. Yeah, I came here to see short shorts, yeah, and yeah, it was intense. Gavin: 4:23 The intensity, which I have only seen from the outside, I&#39;ve never been part of any kind of gay sports league, but the intensity is like, oh, wait a minute. There&#39;s a certain level of toxic masculinity. These are men. Yep, these are men. Joel. Like the velvet gloves, the boxing, the men&#39;s boxing club of New York City. I&#39;m like, that looks way too intense to me. Way too intense. I want to slap and tickle. I don&#39;t want to punch in the face. David: 4:47 Like, that&#39;s insane. Gavin: 4:49 Right, exactly. Well, I am now, I feel like I passed uh definitely uh a Rubicon because my son had a birthday. He is now 12. So I have a 12 and a 13-year-old. Gosh, I know happy birthday. Tell me about it. Happy birthday, daddy, who has gotten his kids up this far. I feel like we really should just be giving gifts to parents&#39; birthdays, you know, to just be like, congratulations. You have your kids still. I mean, right? David: 5:15 People, this that&#39;s the thing is like before you become a parent, you don&#39;t realize that like we parents have no idea what we&#39;re doing ever. And that feeling, and I always feel like the first time you feel that feeling is when you walk out of the hospital alone, yeah, and there&#39;s no nurses, there&#39;s no doctors, you aren&#39;t tackled by police because you&#39;re doing something illegally. Yeah, I can still see the automatic doors of the hospital opening, and then my father-in-law in the car waiting for us, and me going, Wait, hold on. Like suddenly realizing that I was fully responsible. And every new thing that comes, and you&#39;re you&#39;re ahead of me, but like every new thing comes, you go, I don&#39;t know how to do this. I&#39;m just gonna kind of wing it. Totally. Oh my god. Gavin: 5:54 So we we for sure deserve that&#39;s a that&#39;s a great tradition we should start is gifts for the parents on the child&#39;s can we can cancel out um goodie bags at birthdays and instead just bring you know little bottles of shots or whatever for the parents because I I knew it to alcohol. Of course, it&#39;s cooked. Nobody needs the trinkets in a um baggie at the end, but um bringing the parent who&#39;s hosting a little gifty is actually a much smarter. I a five a three dollar Starbucks would be appreciated, you know? David: 6:25 Oh my god, yes. Um, side note, I I know this is again, so not me, but I do have a moment of awe. Oh, geez. Um I have been traveling quite a bit. I I my last trip is um leaving on Sunday for another week, but I have been gone for weeks at a time, every weekend. It&#39;s been a crazy couple of months. Um, but I will say I was just gone for like a really long week. And the best thing in the world was going to pick up my kids from school after being gone for a week. Oh, nice. Because those motherfuckers have never been happier to see me. They ran at full speed, jumped into my heart, like squeezing me as hard as they could. And then everything for the rest of the day, they could not not be on my body. Yeah. And I don&#39;t have cuddly kids, but these fuckers were obsessed with me. And it was just like it was it&#39;s a moment of awe. Yeah. It&#39;s just such a uh a wonderful reminder that sometimes parenting is fun until it&#39;s not, which is gonna happen three hours later when we are arguing about going to bed. That&#39;s awesome. And coming home from trips, that is awesome. Gavin: 7:35 That&#39;s awesome. Well, you know, in uh news of the week, there is really not that much to report, except there is a new daddy in town. And no, this is not a crossover with our dilf, but rather the Pope, which I want to uh point out that in Italian is papa, which means both Pope and Daddy. SPEAKER_02: 7:58 So I&#39;m just gonna say that&#39;s potato. Then I don&#39;t know, I just made that up. I assume. I think it&#39;s potata. Gavin: 8:06 Oh. Um uh which almost sounded like a humble brag that I know that, but I I as a kid I learned the term azamata patata tu, which means shut up, you stupid potato head in Italian. That&#39;s a thing that has really stuck with me, clearly. This is what our listener comes up for. So anyway, news of the week is there&#39;s a new daddy in town. Um hey, Pope Leo, don&#39;t fuck it up for all the rest of us, okay? Who would hire an American at this time? David: 8:34 I was so shocked by that. Who would say, of all the people in the world, let&#39;s choose somebody from this garbage fire? Gavin: 8:42 Because I&#39;m an eternal optimist, I would like to think that the other cardinals were kind of like, hey, let&#39;s throw a bone and say, we believe in you, please fix yourselves. We&#39;re gonna throw this bone to you. Also, my favorite meme was a genius way for the Vatican to avoid tariffs. Choosing an American. That&#39;s really good. Well, that would be a good hack. Speaking of hack, um, I don&#39;t have a daddy hack of you uh for you, but I will say that if anybody doesn&#39;t watch hacks, you have got to because that show is fantastic. David: 9:14 Gene Smart is a gay gay icon, gay icon, but like national treasure. I know that that term is thrown around. Overused. Yeah. Oh my god, but she is a national treasure. Gavin: 9:24 Yeah, to completely agree. That&#39;s my dad hack of the week. David: 9:27 Oh, that&#39;s fantastic. You um forced me to find a dilf of the week. I sure did. So I literally Googled hot dads in Hollywood just to come up with somebody. Uh-huh. And like the third picture down, I literally gasped. So our hot, our dilf of the week is Mark Consuelos. We really&#39;s Kelly Rippa&#39;s husband, if you don&#39;t know who that is. Nice. All right. Gavin: 9:48 He&#39;s like, we&#39;re gonna have to, I&#39;m gonna slide this into our um Instagram feed because we might as well like give some thirst traps to our listenerslash viewer, and we need to get those daddies up there. Mark Consuelos needs to know that he is our DIF of the week, doesn&#39;t he? He really does. David: 10:05 And I just I just texted you the picture that I used, but it was like it it I literally gasped. I was like, who is this gorgeous piece of meat? Um, so anyway, that&#39;s our delf of the week. I didn&#39;t spend any time on that. There&#39;s no particular cultural reason why I brought him up right now, other than Gavin was forcing me, forcing me to do it. But you know what else I spent no time researching? Tell me. Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So our top three list is the top three first world problems. Um, I love a first world problem. They annoy me to no end. And here are my personal top three first world problems. All right. And number three, uh, the Costco parking lot. Oh my god. I mean, you could really insert this with like Trader Joe&#39;s parking lot and like the dense packed parking lots with people who just don&#39;t know how to do anything. Okay. It infuriates me like no other as I&#39;m going into a store in America to buy bulk at a discounted rate. Um, number two, the 39 whole seconds it takes for your phone to restart after downloading a new iOS. I have never felt like a humble village girl like I am sitting looking at my brick restart. And I just think this is the hardest thing I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life. I&#39;ve never felt more alone than this moment. And so that&#39;s my number two. And number one, I I hope there&#39;s crossover here, but if not, I you&#39;re a psychopath. Pooping without a bidet. How to defecate in public without a bidet is it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s my it&#39;s my Roman Empire. I don&#39;t even know how to do it. Gavin: 11:47 Uh this leaves me speechless, I do have to say, because we&#39;re a bidet-less family, and I realize that we It&#39;s different if you&#39;ve never had a bidet. David: 11:58 Okay, but once you have a bidet and you&#39;re used to that level of cleanliness, it anything after is camping. Gavin: 12:04 It&#39;s like don&#39;t under Okay. As long as we&#39;re picking this apart. Oh God, here we go. What I don&#39;t understand is just like suddenly being wet. And so then do you have to then you have to dry, right? I mean, I know that&#39;s a very simple, stupid thing, but like I the idea of being just like randomly wet down there in the middle of the day. I mean, hey. David: 12:25 Well, that&#39;s why you use the toilet at the end of the at the end of the wash, you use the little toilet paper to dry yourself off. Gavin: 12:30 And you use the TP for that. Okay. Correct. It&#39;s just a little dabble. Okay, just a little dabble to you. Um all right. Well, in my realm of uh the first world problems that absolutely drive me uh bonkers, I will say there&#39;s a slight bit of crossover here, which is that um my i in my office here where I record is I have a booster, an internet booster. And sometimes that thing takes so long to get engaged that it makes me, instead of being only one minute late to record with David, it makes me four minutes late because my boosters take so long. So number three for me is a Wi-Fi signal that isn&#39;t fast enough. David: 13:08 I And also unfairly having something David to hold over me. That&#39;s probably yeah, part of that. Gavin: 13:13 That&#39;s fine. All of the above, all of the above. But mainly a weak Wi-Fi signal is just um intolerable now, that&#39;s for sure. Uh, number two, chopped garlic and not always having chopped garlic to be able to cook with. Because if I don&#39;t have um my chopped garlic, I like, oh geez, what is this, the 70s with garlic powder? David: 13:32 I don&#39;t you use jarlic? Gavin: 13:34 Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s what I mean. But if we are out of the jarlic, I suddenly think that I&#39;m living in the developing world and nothing could be worse. Number one for me is still the number one, which I did mention last week in preparation for this, is being without sunglasses outside. I and I just think nobody has suffered more than me. David: 13:53 Nobody has suffered. Gavin: 13:54 Than me squinting in the sun on the sidelines of a soccer field or just generally in life, you know. That is that&#39;s great. David: 14:04 All right, what&#39;s next week? Gavin: 14:05 I have no idea. I haven&#39;t given it. Of course you don&#39;t. David: 14:07 Of course you don&#39;t. Gavin, I could smell it 10 minutes before you said. Gavin: 14:12 But I&#39;m honest about it. Will you give us another one to get into the week? And I&#39;ll do two more, I promise, in a row. David: 14:17 Okay, here it is. Next week&#39;s top three list. Top three, guys named Dave. Gavin: 14:26 All right. Our next guest has had his hands on most of the biggest Broadway hits for the last 20 years, but notably for...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David takes big issue with our listener, there&apos;s a new potato in Rome, we rank the top 3 first world problems, and this week we are joined by musical theatre legend and gay Dad Stephen Oremus who chats with us about this extensive career,]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David takes big issue with our listener, there&apos;s a new potato in Rome, we rank the top 3 first world problems, and this week we are joined by musical theatre legend and gay Dad Stephen Oremus who chats with us about this extensive career, behind the scenes stories from the set of Wicked, and he defends himself when Gavin and David viciously attack him for not being affiliated, whatsoever, with Legally Blonde the musical. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Uh you know what else you forces me to do? God damn it, you ruined my you ruined my top three intro. God damn it. Gavin: 0:07 And this is K3 Arch. David: 0:23 Gaven, our listenership is out of control. And I I have I have I&#39;m taking issue with you listening. Gavin: 0:30 I&#39;m already laughing. I&#39;m over. David: 0:31 I have I&#39;m taking issue with you. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re listening to this show. Every time I encounter a listener in the wild or or or online, my first thought is, why are you listening to this show? What are you doing? Yes. So one of them was my mother who came to me and she said, I was just listening to your show. I have a question for you. And of course, I&#39;m already like, oh God, what does she want to know? What did I say that was disgusting? And she was like, She was like, What is Skibity toilet? Gavin: 0:59 Fantastic. David: 1:01 And then I have to explain to her what&#39;s I don&#39;t know I&#39;m I&#39;m 45. I don&#39;t know what skibbity toilet. Yeah, except that you don&#39;t even really know what it means. I don&#39;t even know what it is. And then also I had a listener that I uh ran into in LA who was telling me she was like, Oh yeah, like I I often will like buy the books of the people who come on your show. I&#39;ve bought in a couple books, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I was America&#39;s finest news source. We are, we are. But guys, you have to stop it. You have to stop listening to the show and buying the books of the people who come in here promote. It is, it is out of control. So I need everyone to stop. Gavin: 1:33 But thank you everybody for doing so. Yes, I heard on the I I was at my kids&#39; track meet just the other day, and I was saying something to my friend who is has been a regular listener. And he said, I was telling him about getting chickens, and he&#39;s like, I know you got chickens. I listened to the show. And I&#39;m like, Oh, that&#39;s right, I forgot. Shout out, Dave. Thank you. David: 1:50 I I mean, my first thought, again, maybe this is like you know, imposter syndrome or whatever, but every time somebody mentions they listen to the show, I go, my first thought is, what is wrong? Anyway, we love you, listener. Gavin: 2:02 Yes, we do, and we do not suffer from uh insecurity, frankly. Our egos are completely out of control. So thank you, and please spread the word and and send more people our way, right? Yeah, right. Buying books, even like should we start a book club, a gaterich book club? But Gabe, but you know I don&#39;t read. That&#39;s the problem. David: 2:20 That in fact is the unless you&#39;re talking about like the label of the poppers model. I don&#39;t read. Gavin: 2:25 But you do like to watch movies, right? I do, yeah. So my partner Todd um actually let me know about a movie. Uh he he shared this with me. That there&#39;s a, I believe it&#39;s a short film that is all about um gay soccer leagues. And I am so interested to see this, I believe, again, short film. I haven&#39;t done a lot of background for this, because why would I prepare anything in this uh for this? But the movie is called Mean Goals already. Oh, that&#39;s a great title. It&#39;s a colorful, quirky soccer comedy with a super queer cast. And watching the we&#39;ll have to link in our show notes that don&#39;t exist, but actually we can tweet it, like we have Twitter. Um, actually, I only know about it on blue sky. Anyway, uh, we&#39;ll have to put it out there somehow because it is a very funny comedy about, you know, the gay soccer leagues, I guess, of LA, and you know, the scrappy ones who were never any good, but they&#39;re gonna come out and beat the really big guys, you know, they&#39;re gonna go from bottom to top, etc. David: 3:27 All yes, all of that. Gavin: 3:28 Anyway, I thought that I and I immediately thought, oh, uh, this is some some bit of media that David would happily uh indulge in because it doesn&#39;t require reading. David: 3:38 So, you know, yeah, which I yeah, as we know, I don&#39;t do. But you know what&#39;s funny? I, when I lived in Hollywood, I went to a one gay dodgeball meet. Oh, yeah. Because they were like, oh, there&#39;s a date gay dodgeball league. It&#39;s so fun. It&#39;s and then we all go out to drinks later and we kiki, and I was like, this is for me. I love dodgeball, it&#39;s fun. We could just like everyone will just be like dancing to Shania Twain, yeah, whatever. Those motherfuckers are these muscle queens with rage, and they throw so hard that it hit me so hard I thought it was 1997. I was legitimately unsure of where I was, and I was like, fuck this noise. I did not come here for this. Yeah, I came here to see short shorts, yeah, and yeah, it was intense. Gavin: 4:23 The intensity, which I have only seen from the outside, I&#39;ve never been part of any kind of gay sports league, but the intensity is like, oh, wait a minute. There&#39;s a certain level of toxic masculinity. These are men. Yep, these are men. Joel. Like the velvet gloves, the boxing, the men&#39;s boxing club of New York City. I&#39;m like, that looks way too intense to me. Way too intense. I want to slap and tickle. I don&#39;t want to punch in the face. David: 4:47 Like, that&#39;s insane. Gavin: 4:49 Right, exactly. Well, I am now, I feel like I passed uh definitely uh a Rubicon because my son had a birthday. He is now 12. So I have a 12 and a 13-year-old. Gosh, I know happy birthday. Tell me about it. Happy birthday, daddy, who has gotten his kids up this far. I feel like we really should just be giving gifts to parents&#39; birthdays, you know, to just be like, congratulations. You have your kids still. I mean, right? David: 5:15 People, this that&#39;s the thing is like before you become a parent, you don&#39;t realize that like we parents have no idea what we&#39;re doing ever. And that feeling, and I always feel like the first time you feel that feeling is when you walk out of the hospital alone, yeah, and there&#39;s no nurses, there&#39;s no doctors, you aren&#39;t tackled by police because you&#39;re doing something illegally. Yeah, I can still see the automatic doors of the hospital opening, and then my father-in-law in the car waiting for us, and me going, Wait, hold on. Like suddenly realizing that I was fully responsible. And every new thing that comes, and you&#39;re you&#39;re ahead of me, but like every new thing comes, you go, I don&#39;t know how to do this. I&#39;m just gonna kind of wing it. Totally. Oh my god. Gavin: 5:54 So we we for sure deserve that&#39;s a that&#39;s a great tradition we should start is gifts for the parents on the child&#39;s can we can cancel out um goodie bags at birthdays and instead just bring you know little bottles of shots or whatever for the parents because I I knew it to alcohol. Of course, it&#39;s cooked. Nobody needs the trinkets in a um baggie at the end, but um bringing the parent who&#39;s hosting a little gifty is actually a much smarter. I a five a three dollar Starbucks would be appreciated, you know? David: 6:25 Oh my god, yes. Um, side note, I I know this is again, so not me, but I do have a moment of awe. Oh, geez. Um I have been traveling quite a bit. I I my last trip is um leaving on Sunday for another week, but I have been gone for weeks at a time, every weekend. It&#39;s been a crazy couple of months. Um, but I will say I was just gone for like a really long week. And the best thing in the world was going to pick up my kids from school after being gone for a week. Oh, nice. Because those motherfuckers have never been happier to see me. They ran at full speed, jumped into my heart, like squeezing me as hard as they could. And then everything for the rest of the day, they could not not be on my body. Yeah. And I don&#39;t have cuddly kids, but these fuckers were obsessed with me. And it was just like it was it&#39;s a moment of awe. Yeah. It&#39;s just such a uh a wonderful reminder that sometimes parenting is fun until it&#39;s not, which is gonna happen three hours later when we are arguing about going to bed. That&#39;s awesome. And coming home from trips, that is awesome. Gavin: 7:35 That&#39;s awesome. Well, you know, in uh news of the week, there is really not that much to report, except there is a new daddy in town. And no, this is not a crossover with our dilf, but rather the Pope, which I want to uh point out that in Italian is papa, which means both Pope and Daddy. SPEAKER_02: 7:58 So I&#39;m just gonna say that&#39;s potato. Then I don&#39;t know, I just made that up. I assume. I think it&#39;s potata. Gavin: 8:06 Oh. Um uh which almost sounded like a humble brag that I know that, but I I as a kid I learned the term azamata patata tu, which means shut up, you stupid potato head in Italian. That&#39;s a thing that has really stuck with me, clearly. This is what our listener comes up for. So anyway, news of the week is there&#39;s a new daddy in town. Um hey, Pope Leo, don&#39;t fuck it up for all the rest of us, okay? Who would hire an American at this time? David: 8:34 I was so shocked by that. Who would say, of all the people in the world, let&#39;s choose somebody from this garbage fire? Gavin: 8:42 Because I&#39;m an eternal optimist, I would like to think that the other cardinals were kind of like, hey, let&#39;s throw a bone and say, we believe in you, please fix yourselves. We&#39;re gonna throw this bone to you. Also, my favorite meme was a genius way for the Vatican to avoid tariffs. Choosing an American. That&#39;s really good. Well, that would be a good hack. Speaking of hack, um, I don&#39;t have a daddy hack of you uh for you, but I will say that if anybody doesn&#39;t watch hacks, you have got to because that show is fantastic. David: 9:14 Gene Smart is a gay gay icon, gay icon, but like national treasure. I know that that term is thrown around. Overused. Yeah. Oh my god, but she is a national treasure. Gavin: 9:24 Yeah, to completely agree. That&#39;s my dad hack of the week. David: 9:27 Oh, that&#39;s fantastic. You um forced me to find a dilf of the week. I sure did. So I literally Googled hot dads in Hollywood just to come up with somebody. Uh-huh. And like the third picture down, I literally gasped. So our hot, our dilf of the week is Mark Consuelos. We really&#39;s Kelly Rippa&#39;s husband, if you don&#39;t know who that is. Nice. All right. Gavin: 9:48 He&#39;s like, we&#39;re gonna have to, I&#39;m gonna slide this into our um Instagram feed because we might as well like give some thirst traps to our listenerslash viewer, and we need to get those daddies up there. Mark Consuelos needs to know that he is our DIF of the week, doesn&#39;t he? He really does. David: 10:05 And I just I just texted you the picture that I used, but it was like it it I literally gasped. I was like, who is this gorgeous piece of meat? Um, so anyway, that&#39;s our delf of the week. I didn&#39;t spend any time on that. There&#39;s no particular cultural reason why I brought him up right now, other than Gavin was forcing me, forcing me to do it. But you know what else I spent no time researching? Tell me. Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So our top three list is the top three first world problems. Um, I love a first world problem. They annoy me to no end. And here are my personal top three first world problems. All right. And number three, uh, the Costco parking lot. Oh my god. I mean, you could really insert this with like Trader Joe&#39;s parking lot and like the dense packed parking lots with people who just don&#39;t know how to do anything. Okay. It infuriates me like no other as I&#39;m going into a store in America to buy bulk at a discounted rate. Um, number two, the 39 whole seconds it takes for your phone to restart after downloading a new iOS. I have never felt like a humble village girl like I am sitting looking at my brick restart. And I just think this is the hardest thing I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life. I&#39;ve never felt more alone than this moment. And so that&#39;s my number two. And number one, I I hope there&#39;s crossover here, but if not, I you&#39;re a psychopath. Pooping without a bidet. How to defecate in public without a bidet is it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s my it&#39;s my Roman Empire. I don&#39;t even know how to do it. Gavin: 11:47 Uh this leaves me speechless, I do have to say, because we&#39;re a bidet-less family, and I realize that we It&#39;s different if you&#39;ve never had a bidet. David: 11:58 Okay, but once you have a bidet and you&#39;re used to that level of cleanliness, it anything after is camping. Gavin: 12:04 It&#39;s like don&#39;t under Okay. As long as we&#39;re picking this apart. Oh God, here we go. What I don&#39;t understand is just like suddenly being wet. And so then do you have to then you have to dry, right? I mean, I know that&#39;s a very simple, stupid thing, but like I the idea of being just like randomly wet down there in the middle of the day. I mean, hey. David: 12:25 Well, that&#39;s why you use the toilet at the end of the at the end of the wash, you use the little toilet paper to dry yourself off. Gavin: 12:30 And you use the TP for that. Okay. Correct. It&#39;s just a little dabble. Okay, just a little dabble to you. Um all right. Well, in my realm of uh the first world problems that absolutely drive me uh bonkers, I will say there&#39;s a slight bit of crossover here, which is that um my i in my office here where I record is I have a booster, an internet booster. And sometimes that thing takes so long to get engaged that it makes me, instead of being only one minute late to record with David, it makes me four minutes late because my boosters take so long. So number three for me is a Wi-Fi signal that isn&#39;t fast enough. David: 13:08 I And also unfairly having something David to hold over me. That&#39;s probably yeah, part of that. Gavin: 13:13 That&#39;s fine. All of the above, all of the above. But mainly a weak Wi-Fi signal is just um intolerable now, that&#39;s for sure. Uh, number two, chopped garlic and not always having chopped garlic to be able to cook with. Because if I don&#39;t have um my chopped garlic, I like, oh geez, what is this, the 70s with garlic powder? David: 13:32 I don&#39;t you use jarlic? Gavin: 13:34 Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s what I mean. But if we are out of the jarlic, I suddenly think that I&#39;m living in the developing world and nothing could be worse. Number one for me is still the number one, which I did mention last week in preparation for this, is being without sunglasses outside. I and I just think nobody has suffered more than me. David: 13:53 Nobody has suffered. Gavin: 13:54 Than me squinting in the sun on the sidelines of a soccer field or just generally in life, you know. That is that&#39;s great. David: 14:04 All right, what&#39;s next week? Gavin: 14:05 I have no idea. I haven&#39;t given it. Of course you don&#39;t. David: 14:07 Of course you don&#39;t. Gavin, I could smell it 10 minutes before you said. Gavin: 14:12 But I&#39;m honest about it. Will you give us another one to get into the week? And I&#39;ll do two more, I promise, in a row. David: 14:17 Okay, here it is. Next week&#39;s top three list. Top three, guys named Dave. Gavin: 14:26 All right. Our next guest has had his hands on most of the biggest Broadway hits for the last 20 years, but notably for...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David takes big issue with our listener, there&apos;s a new potato in Rome, we rank the top 3 first world problems, and this week we are joined by musical theatre legend and gay Dad Stephen Oremus who chats with us about this extensive career, behind the scenes stories from the set of Wicked, and he defends himself when Gavin and David viciously attack him for not being affiliated, whatsoever, with Legally Blonde the musical. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Uh you know what else you forces me to do? God damn it, you ruined my you ruined my top three intro. God damn it. Gavin: 0:07 And this is K3 Arch. David: 0:23 Gaven, our listenership is out of control. And I I have I have I&#39;m taking issue with you listening. Gavin: 0:30 I&#39;m already laughing. I&#39;m over. David: 0:31 I have I&#39;m taking issue with you. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re listening to this show. Every time I encounter a listener in the wild or or or online, my first thought is, why are you listening to this show? What are you doing? Yes. So one of them was my mother who came to me and she said, I was just listening to your show. I have a question for you. And of course, I&#39;m already like, oh God, what does she want to know? What did I say that was disgusting? And she was like, She was like, What is Skibity toilet? Gavin: 0:59 Fantastic. David: 1:01 And then I have to explain to her what&#39;s I don&#39;t know I&#39;m I&#39;m 45. I don&#39;t know what skibbity toilet. Yeah, except that you don&#39;t even really know what it means. I don&#39;t even know what it is. And then also I had a listener that I uh ran into in LA who was telling me she was like, Oh yeah, like I I often will like buy the books of the people who come on your show. I&#39;ve bought in a couple books, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I was America&#39;s finest news source. We are, we are. But guys, you have to stop it. You have to stop listening to the show and buying the books of the people who come in here promote. It is, it is out of control. So I need everyone to stop. Gavin: 1:33 But thank you everybody for doing so. Yes, I heard on the I I was at my kids&#39; track meet just the other day, and I was saying something to my friend who is has been a regular listener. And he said, I was telling him about getting chickens, and he&#39;s like, I know you got chickens. I listened to the show. And I&#39;m like, Oh, that&#39;s right, I forgot. Shout out, Dave. Thank you. David: 1:50 I I mean, my first thought, again, maybe this is like you know, imposter syndrome or whatever, but every time somebody mentions they listen to the show, I go, my first thought is, what is wrong? Anyway, we love you, listener. Gavin: 2:02 Yes, we do, and we do not suffer from uh insecurity, frankly. Our egos are completely out of control. So thank you, and please spread the word and and send more people our way, right? Yeah, right. Buying books, even like should we start a book club, a gaterich book club? But Gabe, but you know I don&#39;t read. That&#39;s the problem. David: 2:20 That in fact is the unless you&#39;re talking about like the label of the poppers model. I don&#39;t read. Gavin: 2:25 But you do like to watch movies, right? I do, yeah. So my partner Todd um actually let me know about a movie. Uh he he shared this with me. That there&#39;s a, I believe it&#39;s a short film that is all about um gay soccer leagues. And I am so interested to see this, I believe, again, short film. I haven&#39;t done a lot of background for this, because why would I prepare anything in this uh for this? But the movie is called Mean Goals already. Oh, that&#39;s a great title. It&#39;s a colorful, quirky soccer comedy with a super queer cast. And watching the we&#39;ll have to link in our show notes that don&#39;t exist, but actually we can tweet it, like we have Twitter. Um, actually, ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David takes big issue with our listener, there&apos;s a new potato in Rome, we rank the top 3 first world problems, and this week we are joined by musical theatre legend and gay Dad Stephen Oremus who chats with us about this extensive career, behind the scenes stories from the set of Wicked, and he defends himself when Gavin and David viciously attack him for not being affiliated, whatsoever, with Legally Blonde the musical. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Uh you know what else you forces me to do? God damn it, you ruined my you ruined my top three intro. God damn it. Gavin: 0:07 And this is K3 Arch. David: 0:23 Gaven, our listenership is out of control. And I I have I have I&#39;m taking issue with you listening. Gavin: 0:30 I&#39;m already laughing. I&#39;m over. David: 0:31 I have I&#39;m taking issue with you. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re list]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Mario &#038; Monte</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-mario-monte/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-17058239</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David swallows his pride and asks Gavin for advice, we give a listener no advice whatsoever, we honor our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 characters we wanted to be as kids, and this week we are joined by Hawaiian Dads and general beams of light Mario &#38; Monte who share with us their unique story to becoming Dads, what auditioning for the Air Force chorus is like, and why every good story about kids starts with poop. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It wasn&#39;t your something great, but you did talk about it. So my something great it oh, I did already talk about it on the show. Yes. Oh. And this is Gatriarch. David: 0:26 Gavin, I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna ask her to say this to you. Okay. I need to take a big breath. Hold on. Okay. Oh geez. I need your advice. I&#39;m sorry, what? That that&#39;s the shocking part. I need your advice. I was shocked into silence. Gavin: 0:43 I was staring at you through the Zoom screen, and I was I wow, it must be really bad, huh? David: 0:50 So Okay, so I have a three-year-old daughter, and I was I was at the Orthodontist waiting for my time to go to the Orthodontist. And there was a probably 12 to 14-year-old girl across from me sitting with her mom. And to listen to the non-stop monologue coming out of this girl&#39;s mouth of nonsense, of dribble. And the mom would say something like, Oh, I see on the neighborhood group that a squirrel got killed in the driveway. Well, I already knew that because Jess already said that. But anyway, Jess was the blah blah blah. And just the non-stop diarrhea of the mouth, I was like, Oh, I don&#39;t know if I I don&#39;t know if I&#39;m prepared to handle this. And then my three-year-old daughter later said to me, Skibbity toilet. She&#39;s three, Gavin. So my question to you is if I don&#39;t know, I don&#39;t know is my answer. Hearing a stranger&#39;s daughter dribble on about fucking nothing. Nothing. And my three-year-old is now saying to me, skibbity toilet. That&#39;s it. How do I survive the pre-teen and teen years go? Gavin: 2:02 Oh god. And so uh moving on. Oh god, no no. David: 2:06 Oh no. We to be fair, we we always intend to never do anything on this podcast. Anything helpful whatsoever. I oh my god. Gavin: 2:14 How are you gonna? I mean, I ask myself that every day. Every day. David: 2:17 But you&#39;re in the trenches. You&#39;re in the trenches right now. Gavin: 2:19 How do you survive? We were at a dinner the other night with some friends who um a friend who&#39;s a teacher and who I think will be um a guest someday soon on Gatriarchs. He said, he reminded me, you re you really are in the trenches right now. And but you&#39;re in the trenches when you have a a one-year-old, and you&#39;re in the trenches or two, a three, four, four, six, seven. So it&#39;s all just different trenches, but um Wow. Yeah, I know. It is amazing. No, zero. I it is amazing though. Isn&#39;t it reassuring to listen to other kids and be reminded? Oh my, it&#39;s other people&#39;s kids, OPKs. It&#39;s so annoying. Um, now if your daughter ends up being that nonstop drivel, I wonder if you&#39;ll be like, I want you to be an other people&#39;s kid now. You I want go be an OPK because you&#39;re driving me so crazy. David: 3:03 But it but I but I remember being in the car with um a mutual friend of ours&#39; daughter once, and she was nonstop monologuing about nothing just to hear her own voice. Yeah, and you couldn&#39;t pop in with any sort of sort of interesting because that that was stupid and fucked up. And I was just like, is there a mute button on this? Yeah, and this is not even my child, and I get OPKs are way more annoying, but like I was like, I oh my god, we were talking about um, oh, this is spoiler alert, we&#39;ve already recorded the interview, so I already know what we&#39;re gonna be talking about. Uh, but we were talking with Mario Monte about that of like, if if I can&#39;t handle this at three, yeah, how do I how how do I do this at 13? So, Gavin, you have no advice for me. So this has been really, really helpful. Gavin: 3:43 This does kind of remind me though of my daughter, who is uh very expressive and fantastic, and I love her, of course. And she often is I often have to say to her, you don&#39;t need to be the loudest kid in the room all the time. And every time I say that, but she isn&#39;t a nonstop monologuer, and so when she is uh of a particularly frenzied state sometimes and does monologue, I actually find it really entertaining. And I&#39;m able to just sit back and smirk and watch her just go on and on. And I&#39;m like, wow, you are really going off right now. Pop off, girl. But I more often am having to ask her, you know, with the volume situation, you don&#39;t always have to be the loudest person in the room. Uh so I have I have no advice except that uh except that not except that not every kid is that monologuer. And so just pray. And if she um pray as of you, but um but if she does I will get on my knees if that helps. If she does start being one of those people, I just give her away. David: 4:38 Just make it yeah, the skibbity toilet almost maybe drop her off at the fire. Gavin: 4:42 Make her an OPK. But wait a minute, how what was the context that she said skibbity toilet? David: 4:46 She, I guarantee you, she heard it from my son. She just heard it. So it was just not the same that she said, Skibbity toilet. But I&#39;m like, does it already is it already so pervasive that it gets down to pre-K3? Yeah, it&#39;s so weird. I thought this was like a middle school. Gavin: 4:58 It&#39;s so weird. Uh no, it&#39;s pretty cringe by middle school, I think. I think they&#39;re mocking skibbity toilet, but your son might be actually using it in jest, uh not in jest. In earnest. No. Uh speaking of sons being in earnest, I am a little hesitant to talk about this today, I have to say. David: 5:16 Oh, you&#39;ve you&#39;ve lowered your volume. Gavin: 5:18 I have. I have because my son is home today, and I literally do not want him to hear me. But he&#39;s kicking out the windows. This was an interesting dilemma we had today, which is my son is the is really nailing the whole broccoli top haircut. You know what I&#39;m talking about? Like what the boys across apparently the entire country or across TikTok are doing. He&#39;s really, and I didn&#39;t realize he was vain. I didn&#39;t know, but he did need a haircut and he wanted the haircut, and he got a haircut on Friday, and it ended up I had to check. David: 5:57 You keep peeking out the window, it&#39;s hilarious. Gavin: 5:59 And he um it the guy took off more than he wanted, and he was very upset. Very, very upset. Mind you, we are we are recording this on a Monday, and my son is home today. And he was like, I&#39;m not going to school today. And I&#39;m like, Because of the haircut? I&#39;m like, yes, you are. You are absolutely going to school today. And he said, No, I&#39;m not. There was no drama. He has never ever once even hinted at anything remotely close to a mental health day. But I was like, you know, let&#39;s take a mental health day. If this is what you need, because I said it&#39;s not happening tomorrow. And he&#39;s like, I know. And but it was funny because he it&#39;s many people have said to me, You not many, this is gonna seem seem like therapy, but many people have said, I just said many people again have said you need to focus on your side. Gavin, have you been drinking before this recording? Because you&#39;re you need to focus on your side because he&#39;s not as loquacious and monologue-y like your daughter can be, who who I just said is not really that monologue. But um, he has some strong feelings about it. Strong, strong feelings. David: 7:02 And he&#39;s I mean to be like this is the age, I guess, we&#39;re like so desperate to fit in and be cool or not be noticed. Not be noticed. Gavin: 7:08 And you don&#39;t think, I mean, because he dresses like every other, you know, middle school kid right now, which is no effort whatsoever. I was like, uh, we&#39;re gonna take a mental health day today. And um, so at first I was like, there&#39;s gonna be no gaming, no screens, no fun, no fun, no fun. Then I thought, you know what, Gabe, just like, come on, just let him have a mental health day. So look at you growing. David: 7:30 Look at you growing as a parent. Gavin: 7:32 But what was fascinating was my partner and I were discussing that this morning, and he went on Reddit, and I&#39;m like, wait, what? You went on Reddit? And he uh I don&#39;t even know how you search for things on Reddit, because uh dinosaur, but he um he found a whole discussion of should I give my son? I&#39;m not kidding, it&#39;s as if he wrote it himself. That um, should I give my son a let my son stay home from school because of a because of a bad haircut? There was a whole discussion of it, and universally everybody&#39;s like, give him a break. David: 8:02 I mean, I&#39;ve had bad haircuts where like I don&#39;t give a shit about my my hair, my hair has always been the same forever. But I&#39;ve I remember one time having a really, really, really bad short haircut where I looked bold, I looked horrible, and I was like devastated. This is fascinating. Yeah. Gavin: 8:17 This is fascinating because this is actually going to relate directly to our top three list. And no, this is not the segue into the top three list, but the top three list is definitely related to my hair in middle school. Anyway. David: 8:29 We&#39;re really good at segues. Um, speaking of segues, uh, we got a listener email in. Uh well, listen, we got as we said, I think last week or the week before, we got lots of messages and emails that we just fucking ignored. So sorry about that. So we&#39;re spreading them out. But we got this really sweet email from uh our listener. Uh, his name is Steven. Hi, uh Steven. And he sent a really nice message about how amazing the show is and how sexy David is and how much Gavin isn&#39;t needed on the show. You know, you know, the normal stuff. Um, but he did what wanted to talk about something very interesting. He said, uh, I recently listened to this week&#39;s Mel Robbins podcast on female adult relationships and found it very enlightening. So for me, am I the only gay parent? Uh uh I am the only gay parent on this mom&#39;s WhatsApp group and my daughter&#39;s year. I&#39;ve always gotten well with women originally, thinking it would be easy to fit into these groups if I find it extremely difficult. Women as mothers versus single women enjoying a gay best friend are very different. Yes. And so um he wanted to hear our thoughts and perspectives. And guess what, Gabin? Yeah, I actually went and listened to that episode. Did you, and I listened to Mel Robbins talk for an hour and a half. So, first of all, fuck you, Steven listener, because you made me listen to like an earnest, heartfelt, like mental health, like thoughtful podcast. Gavin: 9:41 You need an hour and a half of that. You need a mental health day from that. David: 9:44 You need to watch some Pornhub and yeah. Totally. Um, we should do top three Pornhub search categories. Um, but uh anyway, so I think I thought it was like that&#39;s an interesting discussion that we can have because I do get, I think, what Steven is alluding to, which is where like we as gay men have a relationship with women in the early part of our lives. Totally, usually as the gay best friend, as the bestie, you know, you can come on the girls&#39; trip, blah, blah, blah, blah. But there is a shift that happens, I feel like, when you get a little older, maybe 30s, 40s. And then that is not as cute, like, hey, all the girls are getting together for a paint class, but you can come. And it doesn&#39;t sound fun anymore. It sounds like, oh, I&#39;m not a girl. But then also, like he&#39;s saying in these like mom groups, it I feel the same way. We were invited to like this like mom&#39;s group outing from our daycare, and it did not feel good. Yeah, it did not feel like I was just one of the moms. I was like, I&#39;m a dad. And then sometimes with you&#39;re with the dads and they&#39;re like super straight bro dads, you do kind of feel like, well, I&#39;m not one of these dads. Right. You can feel kind of isolated. Yeah, and the Mel Robbins podcast mostly went into like women and women relationships. So, like two women who are friends or mother-daughter, whatever, and like how it can be stressful and what are some specific things. But I think that the point of view is like a gay man plus a woman, and that relationship is really fascinating. Gavin: 11:06 I completely agree, especially with my time on PTAs and PTOs, where I was generally the well, when I was in New York, there were much more, many more men involved. But um, now that I&#39;m not in New York, there&#39;s fewer men involved. And so sometimes there is that element of like, oh, you&#39;re just one of the girls. And you&#39;re like, but am I? SPEAKER_03: 11:25 Uh I don&#39;t know. David: 11:26 But I remember in college just being like, yeah, totally. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll go with you and do the girls thing. And do you think that was about acceptance or it just felt right? Gavin: 11:33 Yeah. David: 11:33 I think it was about finding a tribe that like you belong to, finding people that not that you belong to, but that like stuck up for you. And you know, especially back in the 1800s when I was gay, like it was it was not as it&#39;s it was pretty fucking dangerous, depending on where you were. Yeah. Um, but it definitely feels now that like I am not one of the moms. And I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just like a a gender thing or whatever, but like, you know. Gavin: 11:58 Also, technically, you&#39;re not one of the girls. I mean, that&#39;s kind of how I&#39;ve always felt. I mean, I suppose that puts me in between, but um, yeah, being being the gay pet is has never been something that I&#39;ve loved. David: 12:10 Gay pet. That&#39;s a great way of the putting that. Being the gay pet. Because the only thing we share is like we both like to fuck dudes. So it&#39;s like that means a little bit more at 20 than at 45. Gavin: 12:20 Direct, and yes, that&#39;s exactly right. David: 12:22 But right, like that&#39;s that&#39;s what it is. And and so I I get what uh uh Steven is saying about like, you know, he&#39;s in this like WhatsApp group and he&#39;s the only guy. Yeah. And I think from the women&#39;s point of view, they can think like, oh, we&#39;re gonna be able to do that. I can say it in front of you gay. Yeah, but it&#39;s like I&#39;m the outsider at this point. Yeah. Um, so we have no we have no solutions for you, Steven. Um, other than like we totally get that like that change as a parent. We&#39;re like, this is you know, when I said, you know, I&#39;m when I when my husband and I show up to things, it&#39;s never there&#39;s never two parents ever at pickup, at events, at drop off, but it&#39;s always the moms. Uh-huh. Always the moms. Yeah. And I wonder if that&#39;s part of it too, is like gay men are doing all the jobs. So that&#39;s why moms think that like we&#39;re, I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t get it. Or do they just want to use us as like, hey, I gotta, I I know a I know a gay guy. Yeah, I mean, a little bit. Gavin: 13:15 Everybody, everybody does want to have like their their their gay pet, I think. Um, men included, frankly. David: 13:21 Um the Mel Robbins podcast, basically, the like the TLDR on on it, which I agree with, it was kind of like, why, why, why do women why are women and men kind of so different? And I think the TLDR, which I fully agree with, is like women think much deeper than...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David swallows his pride and asks Gavin for advice, we give a listener no advice whatsoever, we honor our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 characters we wanted to be as kids, and this week we are joined by Hawaiian Dads and general beams of]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David swallows his pride and asks Gavin for advice, we give a listener no advice whatsoever, we honor our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 characters we wanted to be as kids, and this week we are joined by Hawaiian Dads and general beams of light Mario &#38; Monte who share with us their unique story to becoming Dads, what auditioning for the Air Force chorus is like, and why every good story about kids starts with poop. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It wasn&#39;t your something great, but you did talk about it. So my something great it oh, I did already talk about it on the show. Yes. Oh. And this is Gatriarch. David: 0:26 Gavin, I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna ask her to say this to you. Okay. I need to take a big breath. Hold on. Okay. Oh geez. I need your advice. I&#39;m sorry, what? That that&#39;s the shocking part. I need your advice. I was shocked into silence. Gavin: 0:43 I was staring at you through the Zoom screen, and I was I wow, it must be really bad, huh? David: 0:50 So Okay, so I have a three-year-old daughter, and I was I was at the Orthodontist waiting for my time to go to the Orthodontist. And there was a probably 12 to 14-year-old girl across from me sitting with her mom. And to listen to the non-stop monologue coming out of this girl&#39;s mouth of nonsense, of dribble. And the mom would say something like, Oh, I see on the neighborhood group that a squirrel got killed in the driveway. Well, I already knew that because Jess already said that. But anyway, Jess was the blah blah blah. And just the non-stop diarrhea of the mouth, I was like, Oh, I don&#39;t know if I I don&#39;t know if I&#39;m prepared to handle this. And then my three-year-old daughter later said to me, Skibbity toilet. She&#39;s three, Gavin. So my question to you is if I don&#39;t know, I don&#39;t know is my answer. Hearing a stranger&#39;s daughter dribble on about fucking nothing. Nothing. And my three-year-old is now saying to me, skibbity toilet. That&#39;s it. How do I survive the pre-teen and teen years go? Gavin: 2:02 Oh god. And so uh moving on. Oh god, no no. David: 2:06 Oh no. We to be fair, we we always intend to never do anything on this podcast. Anything helpful whatsoever. I oh my god. Gavin: 2:14 How are you gonna? I mean, I ask myself that every day. Every day. David: 2:17 But you&#39;re in the trenches. You&#39;re in the trenches right now. Gavin: 2:19 How do you survive? We were at a dinner the other night with some friends who um a friend who&#39;s a teacher and who I think will be um a guest someday soon on Gatriarchs. He said, he reminded me, you re you really are in the trenches right now. And but you&#39;re in the trenches when you have a a one-year-old, and you&#39;re in the trenches or two, a three, four, four, six, seven. So it&#39;s all just different trenches, but um Wow. Yeah, I know. It is amazing. No, zero. I it is amazing though. Isn&#39;t it reassuring to listen to other kids and be reminded? Oh my, it&#39;s other people&#39;s kids, OPKs. It&#39;s so annoying. Um, now if your daughter ends up being that nonstop drivel, I wonder if you&#39;ll be like, I want you to be an other people&#39;s kid now. You I want go be an OPK because you&#39;re driving me so crazy. David: 3:03 But it but I but I remember being in the car with um a mutual friend of ours&#39; daughter once, and she was nonstop monologuing about nothing just to hear her own voice. Yeah, and you couldn&#39;t pop in with any sort of sort of interesting because that that was stupid and fucked up. And I was just like, is there a mute button on this? Yeah, and this is not even my child, and I get OPKs are way more annoying, but like I was like, I oh my god, we were talking about um, oh, this is spoiler alert, we&#39;ve already recorded the interview, so I already know what we&#39;re gonna be talking about. Uh, but we were talking with Mario Monte about that of like, if if I can&#39;t handle this at three, yeah, how do I how how do I do this at 13? So, Gavin, you have no advice for me. So this has been really, really helpful. Gavin: 3:43 This does kind of remind me though of my daughter, who is uh very expressive and fantastic, and I love her, of course. And she often is I often have to say to her, you don&#39;t need to be the loudest kid in the room all the time. And every time I say that, but she isn&#39;t a nonstop monologuer, and so when she is uh of a particularly frenzied state sometimes and does monologue, I actually find it really entertaining. And I&#39;m able to just sit back and smirk and watch her just go on and on. And I&#39;m like, wow, you are really going off right now. Pop off, girl. But I more often am having to ask her, you know, with the volume situation, you don&#39;t always have to be the loudest person in the room. Uh so I have I have no advice except that uh except that not except that not every kid is that monologuer. And so just pray. And if she um pray as of you, but um but if she does I will get on my knees if that helps. If she does start being one of those people, I just give her away. David: 4:38 Just make it yeah, the skibbity toilet almost maybe drop her off at the fire. Gavin: 4:42 Make her an OPK. But wait a minute, how what was the context that she said skibbity toilet? David: 4:46 She, I guarantee you, she heard it from my son. She just heard it. So it was just not the same that she said, Skibbity toilet. But I&#39;m like, does it already is it already so pervasive that it gets down to pre-K3? Yeah, it&#39;s so weird. I thought this was like a middle school. Gavin: 4:58 It&#39;s so weird. Uh no, it&#39;s pretty cringe by middle school, I think. I think they&#39;re mocking skibbity toilet, but your son might be actually using it in jest, uh not in jest. In earnest. No. Uh speaking of sons being in earnest, I am a little hesitant to talk about this today, I have to say. David: 5:16 Oh, you&#39;ve you&#39;ve lowered your volume. Gavin: 5:18 I have. I have because my son is home today, and I literally do not want him to hear me. But he&#39;s kicking out the windows. This was an interesting dilemma we had today, which is my son is the is really nailing the whole broccoli top haircut. You know what I&#39;m talking about? Like what the boys across apparently the entire country or across TikTok are doing. He&#39;s really, and I didn&#39;t realize he was vain. I didn&#39;t know, but he did need a haircut and he wanted the haircut, and he got a haircut on Friday, and it ended up I had to check. David: 5:57 You keep peeking out the window, it&#39;s hilarious. Gavin: 5:59 And he um it the guy took off more than he wanted, and he was very upset. Very, very upset. Mind you, we are we are recording this on a Monday, and my son is home today. And he was like, I&#39;m not going to school today. And I&#39;m like, Because of the haircut? I&#39;m like, yes, you are. You are absolutely going to school today. And he said, No, I&#39;m not. There was no drama. He has never ever once even hinted at anything remotely close to a mental health day. But I was like, you know, let&#39;s take a mental health day. If this is what you need, because I said it&#39;s not happening tomorrow. And he&#39;s like, I know. And but it was funny because he it&#39;s many people have said to me, You not many, this is gonna seem seem like therapy, but many people have said, I just said many people again have said you need to focus on your side. Gavin, have you been drinking before this recording? Because you&#39;re you need to focus on your side because he&#39;s not as loquacious and monologue-y like your daughter can be, who who I just said is not really that monologue. But um, he has some strong feelings about it. Strong, strong feelings. David: 7:02 And he&#39;s I mean to be like this is the age, I guess, we&#39;re like so desperate to fit in and be cool or not be noticed. Not be noticed. Gavin: 7:08 And you don&#39;t think, I mean, because he dresses like every other, you know, middle school kid right now, which is no effort whatsoever. I was like, uh, we&#39;re gonna take a mental health day today. And um, so at first I was like, there&#39;s gonna be no gaming, no screens, no fun, no fun, no fun. Then I thought, you know what, Gabe, just like, come on, just let him have a mental health day. So look at you growing. David: 7:30 Look at you growing as a parent. Gavin: 7:32 But what was fascinating was my partner and I were discussing that this morning, and he went on Reddit, and I&#39;m like, wait, what? You went on Reddit? And he uh I don&#39;t even know how you search for things on Reddit, because uh dinosaur, but he um he found a whole discussion of should I give my son? I&#39;m not kidding, it&#39;s as if he wrote it himself. That um, should I give my son a let my son stay home from school because of a because of a bad haircut? There was a whole discussion of it, and universally everybody&#39;s like, give him a break. David: 8:02 I mean, I&#39;ve had bad haircuts where like I don&#39;t give a shit about my my hair, my hair has always been the same forever. But I&#39;ve I remember one time having a really, really, really bad short haircut where I looked bold, I looked horrible, and I was like devastated. This is fascinating. Yeah. Gavin: 8:17 This is fascinating because this is actually going to relate directly to our top three list. And no, this is not the segue into the top three list, but the top three list is definitely related to my hair in middle school. Anyway. David: 8:29 We&#39;re really good at segues. Um, speaking of segues, uh, we got a listener email in. Uh well, listen, we got as we said, I think last week or the week before, we got lots of messages and emails that we just fucking ignored. So sorry about that. So we&#39;re spreading them out. But we got this really sweet email from uh our listener. Uh, his name is Steven. Hi, uh Steven. And he sent a really nice message about how amazing the show is and how sexy David is and how much Gavin isn&#39;t needed on the show. You know, you know, the normal stuff. Um, but he did what wanted to talk about something very interesting. He said, uh, I recently listened to this week&#39;s Mel Robbins podcast on female adult relationships and found it very enlightening. So for me, am I the only gay parent? Uh uh I am the only gay parent on this mom&#39;s WhatsApp group and my daughter&#39;s year. I&#39;ve always gotten well with women originally, thinking it would be easy to fit into these groups if I find it extremely difficult. Women as mothers versus single women enjoying a gay best friend are very different. Yes. And so um he wanted to hear our thoughts and perspectives. And guess what, Gabin? Yeah, I actually went and listened to that episode. Did you, and I listened to Mel Robbins talk for an hour and a half. So, first of all, fuck you, Steven listener, because you made me listen to like an earnest, heartfelt, like mental health, like thoughtful podcast. Gavin: 9:41 You need an hour and a half of that. You need a mental health day from that. David: 9:44 You need to watch some Pornhub and yeah. Totally. Um, we should do top three Pornhub search categories. Um, but uh anyway, so I think I thought it was like that&#39;s an interesting discussion that we can have because I do get, I think, what Steven is alluding to, which is where like we as gay men have a relationship with women in the early part of our lives. Totally, usually as the gay best friend, as the bestie, you know, you can come on the girls&#39; trip, blah, blah, blah, blah. But there is a shift that happens, I feel like, when you get a little older, maybe 30s, 40s. And then that is not as cute, like, hey, all the girls are getting together for a paint class, but you can come. And it doesn&#39;t sound fun anymore. It sounds like, oh, I&#39;m not a girl. But then also, like he&#39;s saying in these like mom groups, it I feel the same way. We were invited to like this like mom&#39;s group outing from our daycare, and it did not feel good. Yeah, it did not feel like I was just one of the moms. I was like, I&#39;m a dad. And then sometimes with you&#39;re with the dads and they&#39;re like super straight bro dads, you do kind of feel like, well, I&#39;m not one of these dads. Right. You can feel kind of isolated. Yeah, and the Mel Robbins podcast mostly went into like women and women relationships. So, like two women who are friends or mother-daughter, whatever, and like how it can be stressful and what are some specific things. But I think that the point of view is like a gay man plus a woman, and that relationship is really fascinating. Gavin: 11:06 I completely agree, especially with my time on PTAs and PTOs, where I was generally the well, when I was in New York, there were much more, many more men involved. But um, now that I&#39;m not in New York, there&#39;s fewer men involved. And so sometimes there is that element of like, oh, you&#39;re just one of the girls. And you&#39;re like, but am I? SPEAKER_03: 11:25 Uh I don&#39;t know. David: 11:26 But I remember in college just being like, yeah, totally. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll go with you and do the girls thing. And do you think that was about acceptance or it just felt right? Gavin: 11:33 Yeah. David: 11:33 I think it was about finding a tribe that like you belong to, finding people that not that you belong to, but that like stuck up for you. And you know, especially back in the 1800s when I was gay, like it was it was not as it&#39;s it was pretty fucking dangerous, depending on where you were. Yeah. Um, but it definitely feels now that like I am not one of the moms. And I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just like a a gender thing or whatever, but like, you know. Gavin: 11:58 Also, technically, you&#39;re not one of the girls. I mean, that&#39;s kind of how I&#39;ve always felt. I mean, I suppose that puts me in between, but um, yeah, being being the gay pet is has never been something that I&#39;ve loved. David: 12:10 Gay pet. That&#39;s a great way of the putting that. Being the gay pet. Because the only thing we share is like we both like to fuck dudes. So it&#39;s like that means a little bit more at 20 than at 45. Gavin: 12:20 Direct, and yes, that&#39;s exactly right. David: 12:22 But right, like that&#39;s that&#39;s what it is. And and so I I get what uh uh Steven is saying about like, you know, he&#39;s in this like WhatsApp group and he&#39;s the only guy. Yeah. And I think from the women&#39;s point of view, they can think like, oh, we&#39;re gonna be able to do that. I can say it in front of you gay. Yeah, but it&#39;s like I&#39;m the outsider at this point. Yeah. Um, so we have no we have no solutions for you, Steven. Um, other than like we totally get that like that change as a parent. We&#39;re like, this is you know, when I said, you know, I&#39;m when I when my husband and I show up to things, it&#39;s never there&#39;s never two parents ever at pickup, at events, at drop off, but it&#39;s always the moms. Uh-huh. Always the moms. Yeah. And I wonder if that&#39;s part of it too, is like gay men are doing all the jobs. So that&#39;s why moms think that like we&#39;re, I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t get it. Or do they just want to use us as like, hey, I gotta, I I know a I know a gay guy. Yeah, I mean, a little bit. Gavin: 13:15 Everybody, everybody does want to have like their their their gay pet, I think. Um, men included, frankly. David: 13:21 Um the Mel Robbins podcast, basically, the like the TLDR on on it, which I agree with, it was kind of like, why, why, why do women why are women and men kind of so different? And I think the TLDR, which I fully agree with, is like women think much deeper than...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David swallows his pride and asks Gavin for advice, we give a listener no advice whatsoever, we honor our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 characters we wanted to be as kids, and this week we are joined by Hawaiian Dads and general beams of light Mario &#38; Monte who share with us their unique story to becoming Dads, what auditioning for the Air Force chorus is like, and why every good story about kids starts with poop. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It wasn&#39;t your something great, but you did talk about it. So my something great it oh, I did already talk about it on the show. Yes. Oh. And this is Gatriarch. David: 0:26 Gavin, I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna ask her to say this to you. Okay. I need to take a big breath. Hold on. Okay. Oh geez. I need your advice. I&#39;m sorry, what? That that&#39;s the shocking part. I need your advice. I was shocked into silence. Gavin: 0:43 I was staring at you through the Zoom screen, and I was I wow, it must be really bad, huh? David: 0:50 So Okay, so I have a three-year-old daughter, and I was I was at the Orthodontist waiting for my time to go to the Orthodontist. And there was a probably 12 to 14-year-old girl across from me sitting with her mom. And to listen to the non-stop monologue coming out of this girl&#39;s mouth of nonsense, of dribble. And the mom would say something like, Oh, I see on the neighborhood group that a squirrel got killed in the driveway. Well, I already knew that because Jess already said that. But anyway, Jess was the blah blah blah. And just the non-stop diarrhea of the mouth, I was like, Oh, I don&#39;t know if I I don&#39;t know if I&#39;m prepared to handle this. And then my three-year-old daughter later said to me, Skibbity toilet. She&#39;s three, Gavin. So my question to you is if I don&#39;t know, I don&#39;t know is my answer. Hearing a stranger&#39;s daughter dribble on about fucking nothing. Nothing. And my three-year-old is now saying to me, skibbity toilet. That&#39;s it. How do I survive the pre-teen and teen years go? Gavin: 2:02 Oh god. And so uh moving on. Oh god, no no. David: 2:06 Oh no. We to be fair, we we always intend to never do anything on this podcast. Anything helpful whatsoever. I oh my god. Gavin: 2:14 How are you gonna? I mean, I ask myself that every day. Every day. David: 2:17 But you&#39;re in the trenches. You&#39;re in the trenches right now. Gavin: 2:19 How do you survive? We were at a dinner the other night with some friends who um a friend who&#39;s a teacher and who I think will be um a guest someday soon on Gatriarchs. He said, he reminded me, you re you really are in the trenches right now. And but you&#39;re in the trenches when you have a a one-year-old, and you&#39;re in the trenches or two, a three, four, four, six, seven. So it&#39;s all just different trenches, but um Wow. Yeah, I know. It is amazing. No, zero. I it is amazing though. Isn&#39;t it reassuring to listen to other kids and be reminded? Oh my, it&#39;s other people&#39;s kids, OPKs. It&#39;s so annoying. Um, now if your daughter ends up being that nonstop drivel, I wonder if you&#39;ll be like, I want you to be an other people&#39;s kid now. You I want go be an OPK because you&#39;re driving me so crazy. David: 3:03 But it but I but I remember being in the car with um a mutual friend of ours&#39; daughter once, and she was nonstop monologuing about nothing just to hear her own voice. Yeah, and you couldn&#39;t pop in with any sort of sort of interesting because that that was stupid and fucked up. And I was just like, is there a mute button on this? Yeah, and this is not even my child, and I get OPKs are way more annoying, but like I was like, I oh my god, we were talking about um, oh, this is spoiler alert, we&#39;ve already recorded the interview, so I already know what we&#39;re gonna be talking about. Uh,]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David swallows his pride and asks Gavin for advice, we give a listener no advice whatsoever, we honor our DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 characters we wanted to be as kids, and this week we are joined by Hawaiian Dads and general beams of light Mario &#38; Monte who share with us their unique story to becoming Dads, what auditioning for the Air Force chorus is like, and why every good story about kids starts with poop. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It wasn&#39;t your something great, but you did talk about it. So my something great it oh, I did already talk about it on the show. Yes. Oh. And this is Gatriarch. David: 0:26 Gavin, I can&#39;t believe I&#39;m gonna ask her to say this to you. Okay. I need to take a big breath. Hold on. Okay. Oh geez. I need your advice. I&#39;m sorry, what? That that&#39;s the shocking part. I need your advice. I ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>I&#8217;ve run out of ideas</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/ive-run-out-of-ideas/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 30 Apr 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we finally respond to our listener, Gavin wins a battle with his teenage daughter, David travels with his family for Spring Break and doesn&apos;t get divorced, we nominate Tom Daley as the DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 songs that are a &#34;mood.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Of like a prayer is. God damn it, I missed it. God, I was so close. I was like, I have got to get Gavin doing this on the podcast, and I totally fucking missed the window. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 Fuck. David: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, thank you so much for standing by with us and for emailing us. I finally went through, I was telling David before we started recording, I went through our email books. Gavin: 0:40 I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re confessing this on the air live. David: 0:44 I know. I know. I went through our DMs and I went through our emails and we had just a just a stupid amount of just like, we just didn&#39;t respond to you emails. And I feel I feel really bad. I feel really bad. And it&#39;s just for guests and listeners, and it was just like a whole bunch of things. So anyway, one of the I wanted to bring up one of them because um it&#39;s a really good idea and we want to talk about it. So our listener, our one listener, Silverio, which is that really your name. I don&#39;t know, but it said Silverio in the email address, um, emailed us and said, Hey guys, I love your podcast. Thank you all for what you do to celebrate and uplift families like ours. That&#39;s clearly for Gavin. Um, I was wondering if you&#39;ve ever considered organizing or facilitating meetup events for your listeners. I think it would be amazing to have an opportunity to connect in person with other families who share similar experiences, whether it&#39;s a family picnic, a casual hangout, or a more formal event. I&#39;d love to attend something like that and meet more dads and kids in our community. Anyway, just a thought, looking forward to your next episode. Gavin: 1:43 Okay, I&#39;ve already made multiple sounds about this. The oh my God. SPEAKER_00: 1:47 And oh, it is sweet. Gavin: 1:49 It&#39;s a wonderful idea. Listener, do you think we should try this? Then again, our listeners are all over the place, right? I mean, listener, listener travels from place to place and hears it. David: 2:00 Yes, there would be one person at this event, as we know. Um, but yeah, but I think that was my first thought when Savario emailed us was like, it&#39;s a great idea, but like we literally we talked about, listen, I&#39;m marrying Liam from um Scotland. I&#39;m gonna marry Sam from Canada. Like, we&#39;ve got listener everywhere, and so I&#39;m not sure how this would work. I love the idea. We can&#39;t even get our Facebook page together, let alone. I mean, we can&#39;t even respond to emails or to DMs. Gavin: 2:26 And it&#39;s frankly not because there&#39;s so many of them. We&#39;re no, we&#39;re just bad at this. David: 2:30 We&#39;re bad at this. But so Gabe and I are gonna pray on it because I I think this is a great idea. And I think what we would have to do is maybe start do a trial one in probably Manhattan, maybe like Central Park, because that&#39;s closest for Gavin and I. And so maybe we&#39;d have to start one with our New York City centered um dads or any dads who want to travel. But I I love the idea, but Gavin and I are also very lazy. Gavin: 2:52 But let us know, listener, what you think. Let us know. I mean Would you come to something like this? Drop us a line, and would you come to something like this? Yes. And uh, I mean, I would be curious to know. I mean, we&#39;ve been to events like this before, right? I mean, you did men having babies. I was part of a gay dads group in um New York, and it was I there is a it is important, it&#39;s exhausting to be uh obligatory in your socializing and to be alive, particularly now. But you do it and then you go home and you&#39;re like, you know, I&#39;m glad I did that. I met some people, we complained about our kids. It was good. We had drinks, there would be drinks involved. Sure, of course, especially if you&#39;re hosting it. David: 3:34 But but this is I feel the same way, like being or just in in the company of other gay dads. Yeah, it there&#39;s just some like there&#39;s an energy recharge there. There&#39;s a um a gay dad group uh by me, and we do bi-monthly events, and every other month is like one month is like with kids and the other month is like without kids. So they&#39;ll do like our thing with dads, and then the other one&#39;s like they&#39;ll have to do that. SPEAKER_01: 3:53 How many of you get together? David: 3:54 There&#39;s like 60 people that come to these things. It&#39;s actually pretty wonderful. So do they all know about gay triarks? Listen, I&#39;m sure they do. We&#39;re very, very famous, but um but but it it is there&#39;s an energizing thing that to like watch your kids be normalized in a setting. So we listener Silverio and all the other listener, let&#39;s let&#39;s think about this. Maybe we&#39;ll try one and see how it goes. But I I love this idea. Um, and yeah, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll we&#39;ll see if we can make it happen. Gavin: 4:19 Love it. Thanks for bringing it to us, Silverio. We appreciate that. And also we want to know what your drag name is because that&#39;s a good one right there. That&#39;s a good one. Um, so David, yeah, singing is allowed in the house again. Oh god, this is Reverend Shaw Moore. I won. I won this battle. And no, I don&#39;t think parenting is about winning battles, and I do think parenting is about choosing battles. But listen, when you&#39;re cut when your kid is on the cusp of making very long-term decisions that are not good, you step in as a parent, right? So we came to just full-on bribery and we compromised. She&#39;s not getting a puppy to join to be in band, she&#39;s not going on tour following Beyoncé around for five tours, um, for five concerts just to be in the choir. No, because we are trash who live on a dirt road, in Connecticut, we now have chickens. And that was the compromise for my daughter to join the band. We are homesteaders. Just call me trad wife. Just David Tradwife. David: 5:26 So trad wife material now. You&#39;re making your own butter. Yes. Oh my god, I love it. Gavin: 5:31 Yeah, I know this is an audio format, but I am actually wearing a um Holly Hobby dress right now and just turning butter on the side. Can&#39;t worry. So I can say that I won this battle. And listen, I&#39;m just asking her to do it for two years. And I don&#39;t even care if it&#39;s band or choir. I just feel like music is integral to a kid&#39;s upbringing. And that is especially if you&#39;re the quarterback of the football team, right? But also in your life, you and your husband come from a professional musical background. Yes, exactly. And also chickens. I well, listen, I mean, we live on a dirt road and we had chickens, I admit. Like it&#39;s kind of I can&#39;t believe that this was the compromise because we&#39;ve had chickens before, and we let them free range around our house. And guess what? We had chickens for a few months, and then we didn&#39;t have chickens. And then the wolves got them or whatever. Those Connecticut wolves. Foxes. Oh, yeah. No foxes. There was a bobcat that came across our yard one time. David: 6:25 Oh, wait, didn&#39;t we have a guest, the those two gay dads from like Canada who who had chickens or whatever? They had like an Airbnb and chicken channel. That&#39;s exactly right. Gavin: 6:32 We talked about the chickens a little bit, yes. So chicken chat CT. That is the um Wow. That that is a that is a thing here in Connecticut is chicken chat CT.com. I am not part of it because I&#39;m not I&#39;m not that chicken-y. But we um yeah, so now we have these little tiny chicks, and I gotta say they&#39;re real cute. Maybe they&#39;ll make up an appearance on Gatriarchs. Oh uh because they&#39;re really, really cute. And but they&#39;re they&#39;re in, so you have to, when you have chicks, you have to give them warmth, you know, they have to have a uh heating lamp, and uh, we didn&#39;t hatch them out of eggs or anything. They were little little tiny, cute little chicks, right? But um, you have to have some kind of what&#39;s called a brooder for them to grow up in, right? Or at least grow in. And so I pulled the pack and play out of the attic, and we have chickens in a pack and play, but it like it works perfectly, right? And so they&#39;re just soiling this pack and play. But guess what? That&#39;s what we did in 2022, and I thought we&#39;re gonna have chickens again, so I&#39;m gonna keep this pack and play up here, and maybe I&#39;ll have grandkids in that pack and play too. And my children will be like, Are you kidding? My my children are not getting into that thing from the last early century. So, anyway, we have chickens, and my my daughter will be in the band next year. And I&#39;m glad you won. I&#39;m very proud. Okay, I it is all about me after all. It is all about me. David: 7:50 Yes. So I have been traveling a lot. I keep saying I feel like every episode I&#39;ve been saying, like I&#39;m traveling, but we traveled for spring break uh last week. Gavin: 7:59 Yeah, you are all I we it&#39;s been impossible for us to even get together and record because you&#39;re so jet-setty right now. David: 8:05 I was literally in Florida last week. I&#39;m gonna be in LA next week, uh Wisconsin the week after that, two weeks after that, I&#39;m going to LA again. I know kind of. But anyway, I was traveling to uh to Florida for spring break with my family. Uh-huh. Four of us. Gavin: 8:20 Now I just you and all of those college co-eds who are going down to get shit faced. David: 8:25 Yes, totally. And I, you know, I&#39;ve flown with my kids since they were three days old. So they have been flying, you know, when they were three days old, as any parent knows, it&#39;s the best time to fly with kids because they don&#39;t do anything but eating and sleep. So um, and then also the worst time is about one and a half. That is the absolute worst time to have a child because they are wiggly, they don&#39;t sit down, they don&#39;t lay down, but they also cannot understand rules or anything. Yeah. Um, and you can&#39;t put an iPad in front of them. So I was traveling with my kids for spring break, and a couple of uh notable things, which is really interesting. And one is when we were flying there, we I was in the middle seat, my son was on the window seat, and then there was this old lady on the aisle. So that was the three of us. And the old lady, first of all, had a wicked sweatshirt on, which I&#39;m obsessed with. Um wait, and you do mean as in wicked the movie slash Broadway show, or do you mean she was from Boston? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Maybe she&#39;s from Boston, but no, it was the movie. Um, and so we were talking and you know, all the things that come up. But what was hilarious is watching the youngest of people and arguably the oldest of people and how they fly in a plane. Because my son on the right is wearing a Bluetooth connected headphones. He&#39;s swiping through movies, he&#39;s watching the first eight minutes of every movie and then immediately changing to the next one. Yeah. And I turn to the left. This is a two and a half-ish hour flight. I turn to the left, and this woman is raw dogging this flight. She is sitting quietly, no earbuds, no TV, just staring ahead. For two and a half hours of this bitch raw dog this flight. I could not believe. But this is a different generation. She just sat there and thought about things. Gavin: 10:07 I thought raw dogging, though, was more millennials kind of thing. I mean, and you&#39;re not going to be able to do that. David: 10:12 I think that&#39;s like the ironic thing where like I&#39;m gonna raw dog a flight to Europe and I&#39;m just gonna sit there and stare. But this this is how she travels, clearly. Gavin: 10:20 You you make so many assumptions about some woman who&#39;s wearing a wicked t-shirt, slash sweatshirt, right? Like, this is a person who&#39;s into musicals. This is a person who is into wicked, this is a person who like wants entertainment, wants to be uplifted, wants to be entertaining, is probably super social, would love to know the person that she&#39;s sitting next to and his experience with, say, wicked or whatever. And yet she just raw dogged, which that term. David: 10:45 But it was like I it was this wild moment where I was like looking back and forth, and I was like, these are two totally different travel experiences. And she never acknowledged you or your kid? No, no, we talked a little bit, and of course, as we&#39;re talking, naturally, what did she ask me? When did you get him? Did you have him when he was and then she&#39;s you know, dot, dot, dot. And I was like, you know, you can&#39;t get mad at that because people don&#39;t know how to talk about things. And I don&#39;t want to be like, no, we did gestational surrogacy, blah, blah, blah, blah. But um, we were talking about birth and flying and everything. Um, but I did wanted to tell you about a travel hack my husband and I do all the time. And it&#39;s like a mini travel hack because it works 35% of the time. Okay. So that is a that is a good amount of time. So when there&#39;s four people flying, there&#39;s a we are a family of four, usually the aisles are three and three, right? Um and so it&#39;s a weird thing. Do you do three and one? Right. Do you do two in front, two and behind? So what we&#39;ve learned is that the best way to do it, well, at least with the kids our age, is do two and two front to back, because then you can pass each other shit. And then you put the annoying kid in the back. So when they kick the seat, it&#39;s the seat of the person, right? Yes. But the travel hack is what we do is we book the window and the aisle seat of those two rows because it makes the only available seat a middle seat. And generally that&#39;s the last one people want. So a lot of the time, like 35% of the time, you&#39;ve got three seats. Nobody&#39;s there. And if somebody does come, always you&#39;re doing them the favor. Correct. Then we&#39;re the hero, and we say, Hey, you have the the aisle, but we&#39;re traveling with my my son. Would you mind moving to the window aisle, however we want to do it? So um, that is our hack. It works sometimes, and it it it when you have the whole row, oh man, that is that is life-changing. Gavin: 12:29 So that&#39;s life changing for sure. Yeah, that&#39;s a fantastic dad hack of the week. I&#39;m so glad you wrote that on the um outline and got right to it. I know, and you and you have and you have a different dad hack of the week. David: 12:39 So we&#39;re gonna have lots of hacks for this episode, I see. We&#39;ll save it for the next time. Um, also, speaking of spring break, we did um our school spring break or spring photos or whatever. And on the form for my daughter. Oh, you know, where they just do it in your daycare. Yes. But what&#39;s hilarious is on the form, they they ask, like, does she have any hobbies, favorite characters, or whatever? Because they want to be able to talk to her and whatever. But then they say, Is there anything that she laughs at or whatever? And I realize that the only thing I can confidently say is if you mention any form of the word poop or butt crack, this child will laugh and give you a great smile. So I have to write on the form for the professional photographer, please say poopy poop butt pants, and she&#39;ll laugh like crazy. And Gavin, we got great photos back. We got great photos back. Gavin: 13:32 So I mean, if you were taking photos of me right now, they would be pretty good ones too. Because I also laugh at poopy poop...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we finally respond to our listener, Gavin wins a battle with his teenage daughter, David travels with his family for Spring Break and doesn&apos;t get divorced, we nominate Tom Daley as the DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 songs that ar]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we finally respond to our listener, Gavin wins a battle with his teenage daughter, David travels with his family for Spring Break and doesn&apos;t get divorced, we nominate Tom Daley as the DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 songs that are a &#34;mood.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Of like a prayer is. God damn it, I missed it. God, I was so close. I was like, I have got to get Gavin doing this on the podcast, and I totally fucking missed the window. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 Fuck. David: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, thank you so much for standing by with us and for emailing us. I finally went through, I was telling David before we started recording, I went through our email books. Gavin: 0:40 I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re confessing this on the air live. David: 0:44 I know. I know. I went through our DMs and I went through our emails and we had just a just a stupid amount of just like, we just didn&#39;t respond to you emails. And I feel I feel really bad. I feel really bad. And it&#39;s just for guests and listeners, and it was just like a whole bunch of things. So anyway, one of the I wanted to bring up one of them because um it&#39;s a really good idea and we want to talk about it. So our listener, our one listener, Silverio, which is that really your name. I don&#39;t know, but it said Silverio in the email address, um, emailed us and said, Hey guys, I love your podcast. Thank you all for what you do to celebrate and uplift families like ours. That&#39;s clearly for Gavin. Um, I was wondering if you&#39;ve ever considered organizing or facilitating meetup events for your listeners. I think it would be amazing to have an opportunity to connect in person with other families who share similar experiences, whether it&#39;s a family picnic, a casual hangout, or a more formal event. I&#39;d love to attend something like that and meet more dads and kids in our community. Anyway, just a thought, looking forward to your next episode. Gavin: 1:43 Okay, I&#39;ve already made multiple sounds about this. The oh my God. SPEAKER_00: 1:47 And oh, it is sweet. Gavin: 1:49 It&#39;s a wonderful idea. Listener, do you think we should try this? Then again, our listeners are all over the place, right? I mean, listener, listener travels from place to place and hears it. David: 2:00 Yes, there would be one person at this event, as we know. Um, but yeah, but I think that was my first thought when Savario emailed us was like, it&#39;s a great idea, but like we literally we talked about, listen, I&#39;m marrying Liam from um Scotland. I&#39;m gonna marry Sam from Canada. Like, we&#39;ve got listener everywhere, and so I&#39;m not sure how this would work. I love the idea. We can&#39;t even get our Facebook page together, let alone. I mean, we can&#39;t even respond to emails or to DMs. Gavin: 2:26 And it&#39;s frankly not because there&#39;s so many of them. We&#39;re no, we&#39;re just bad at this. David: 2:30 We&#39;re bad at this. But so Gabe and I are gonna pray on it because I I think this is a great idea. And I think what we would have to do is maybe start do a trial one in probably Manhattan, maybe like Central Park, because that&#39;s closest for Gavin and I. And so maybe we&#39;d have to start one with our New York City centered um dads or any dads who want to travel. But I I love the idea, but Gavin and I are also very lazy. Gavin: 2:52 But let us know, listener, what you think. Let us know. I mean Would you come to something like this? Drop us a line, and would you come to something like this? Yes. And uh, I mean, I would be curious to know. I mean, we&#39;ve been to events like this before, right? I mean, you did men having babies. I was part of a gay dads group in um New York, and it was I there is a it is important, it&#39;s exhausting to be uh obligatory in your socializing and to be alive, particularly now. But you do it and then you go home and you&#39;re like, you know, I&#39;m glad I did that. I met some people, we complained about our kids. It was good. We had drinks, there would be drinks involved. Sure, of course, especially if you&#39;re hosting it. David: 3:34 But but this is I feel the same way, like being or just in in the company of other gay dads. Yeah, it there&#39;s just some like there&#39;s an energy recharge there. There&#39;s a um a gay dad group uh by me, and we do bi-monthly events, and every other month is like one month is like with kids and the other month is like without kids. So they&#39;ll do like our thing with dads, and then the other one&#39;s like they&#39;ll have to do that. SPEAKER_01: 3:53 How many of you get together? David: 3:54 There&#39;s like 60 people that come to these things. It&#39;s actually pretty wonderful. So do they all know about gay triarks? Listen, I&#39;m sure they do. We&#39;re very, very famous, but um but but it it is there&#39;s an energizing thing that to like watch your kids be normalized in a setting. So we listener Silverio and all the other listener, let&#39;s let&#39;s think about this. Maybe we&#39;ll try one and see how it goes. But I I love this idea. Um, and yeah, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll we&#39;ll see if we can make it happen. Gavin: 4:19 Love it. Thanks for bringing it to us, Silverio. We appreciate that. And also we want to know what your drag name is because that&#39;s a good one right there. That&#39;s a good one. Um, so David, yeah, singing is allowed in the house again. Oh god, this is Reverend Shaw Moore. I won. I won this battle. And no, I don&#39;t think parenting is about winning battles, and I do think parenting is about choosing battles. But listen, when you&#39;re cut when your kid is on the cusp of making very long-term decisions that are not good, you step in as a parent, right? So we came to just full-on bribery and we compromised. She&#39;s not getting a puppy to join to be in band, she&#39;s not going on tour following Beyoncé around for five tours, um, for five concerts just to be in the choir. No, because we are trash who live on a dirt road, in Connecticut, we now have chickens. And that was the compromise for my daughter to join the band. We are homesteaders. Just call me trad wife. Just David Tradwife. David: 5:26 So trad wife material now. You&#39;re making your own butter. Yes. Oh my god, I love it. Gavin: 5:31 Yeah, I know this is an audio format, but I am actually wearing a um Holly Hobby dress right now and just turning butter on the side. Can&#39;t worry. So I can say that I won this battle. And listen, I&#39;m just asking her to do it for two years. And I don&#39;t even care if it&#39;s band or choir. I just feel like music is integral to a kid&#39;s upbringing. And that is especially if you&#39;re the quarterback of the football team, right? But also in your life, you and your husband come from a professional musical background. Yes, exactly. And also chickens. I well, listen, I mean, we live on a dirt road and we had chickens, I admit. Like it&#39;s kind of I can&#39;t believe that this was the compromise because we&#39;ve had chickens before, and we let them free range around our house. And guess what? We had chickens for a few months, and then we didn&#39;t have chickens. And then the wolves got them or whatever. Those Connecticut wolves. Foxes. Oh, yeah. No foxes. There was a bobcat that came across our yard one time. David: 6:25 Oh, wait, didn&#39;t we have a guest, the those two gay dads from like Canada who who had chickens or whatever? They had like an Airbnb and chicken channel. That&#39;s exactly right. Gavin: 6:32 We talked about the chickens a little bit, yes. So chicken chat CT. That is the um Wow. That that is a that is a thing here in Connecticut is chicken chat CT.com. I am not part of it because I&#39;m not I&#39;m not that chicken-y. But we um yeah, so now we have these little tiny chicks, and I gotta say they&#39;re real cute. Maybe they&#39;ll make up an appearance on Gatriarchs. Oh uh because they&#39;re really, really cute. And but they&#39;re they&#39;re in, so you have to, when you have chicks, you have to give them warmth, you know, they have to have a uh heating lamp, and uh, we didn&#39;t hatch them out of eggs or anything. They were little little tiny, cute little chicks, right? But um, you have to have some kind of what&#39;s called a brooder for them to grow up in, right? Or at least grow in. And so I pulled the pack and play out of the attic, and we have chickens in a pack and play, but it like it works perfectly, right? And so they&#39;re just soiling this pack and play. But guess what? That&#39;s what we did in 2022, and I thought we&#39;re gonna have chickens again, so I&#39;m gonna keep this pack and play up here, and maybe I&#39;ll have grandkids in that pack and play too. And my children will be like, Are you kidding? My my children are not getting into that thing from the last early century. So, anyway, we have chickens, and my my daughter will be in the band next year. And I&#39;m glad you won. I&#39;m very proud. Okay, I it is all about me after all. It is all about me. David: 7:50 Yes. So I have been traveling a lot. I keep saying I feel like every episode I&#39;ve been saying, like I&#39;m traveling, but we traveled for spring break uh last week. Gavin: 7:59 Yeah, you are all I we it&#39;s been impossible for us to even get together and record because you&#39;re so jet-setty right now. David: 8:05 I was literally in Florida last week. I&#39;m gonna be in LA next week, uh Wisconsin the week after that, two weeks after that, I&#39;m going to LA again. I know kind of. But anyway, I was traveling to uh to Florida for spring break with my family. Uh-huh. Four of us. Gavin: 8:20 Now I just you and all of those college co-eds who are going down to get shit faced. David: 8:25 Yes, totally. And I, you know, I&#39;ve flown with my kids since they were three days old. So they have been flying, you know, when they were three days old, as any parent knows, it&#39;s the best time to fly with kids because they don&#39;t do anything but eating and sleep. So um, and then also the worst time is about one and a half. That is the absolute worst time to have a child because they are wiggly, they don&#39;t sit down, they don&#39;t lay down, but they also cannot understand rules or anything. Yeah. Um, and you can&#39;t put an iPad in front of them. So I was traveling with my kids for spring break, and a couple of uh notable things, which is really interesting. And one is when we were flying there, we I was in the middle seat, my son was on the window seat, and then there was this old lady on the aisle. So that was the three of us. And the old lady, first of all, had a wicked sweatshirt on, which I&#39;m obsessed with. Um wait, and you do mean as in wicked the movie slash Broadway show, or do you mean she was from Boston? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Maybe she&#39;s from Boston, but no, it was the movie. Um, and so we were talking and you know, all the things that come up. But what was hilarious is watching the youngest of people and arguably the oldest of people and how they fly in a plane. Because my son on the right is wearing a Bluetooth connected headphones. He&#39;s swiping through movies, he&#39;s watching the first eight minutes of every movie and then immediately changing to the next one. Yeah. And I turn to the left. This is a two and a half-ish hour flight. I turn to the left, and this woman is raw dogging this flight. She is sitting quietly, no earbuds, no TV, just staring ahead. For two and a half hours of this bitch raw dog this flight. I could not believe. But this is a different generation. She just sat there and thought about things. Gavin: 10:07 I thought raw dogging, though, was more millennials kind of thing. I mean, and you&#39;re not going to be able to do that. David: 10:12 I think that&#39;s like the ironic thing where like I&#39;m gonna raw dog a flight to Europe and I&#39;m just gonna sit there and stare. But this this is how she travels, clearly. Gavin: 10:20 You you make so many assumptions about some woman who&#39;s wearing a wicked t-shirt, slash sweatshirt, right? Like, this is a person who&#39;s into musicals. This is a person who is into wicked, this is a person who like wants entertainment, wants to be uplifted, wants to be entertaining, is probably super social, would love to know the person that she&#39;s sitting next to and his experience with, say, wicked or whatever. And yet she just raw dogged, which that term. David: 10:45 But it was like I it was this wild moment where I was like looking back and forth, and I was like, these are two totally different travel experiences. And she never acknowledged you or your kid? No, no, we talked a little bit, and of course, as we&#39;re talking, naturally, what did she ask me? When did you get him? Did you have him when he was and then she&#39;s you know, dot, dot, dot. And I was like, you know, you can&#39;t get mad at that because people don&#39;t know how to talk about things. And I don&#39;t want to be like, no, we did gestational surrogacy, blah, blah, blah, blah. But um, we were talking about birth and flying and everything. Um, but I did wanted to tell you about a travel hack my husband and I do all the time. And it&#39;s like a mini travel hack because it works 35% of the time. Okay. So that is a that is a good amount of time. So when there&#39;s four people flying, there&#39;s a we are a family of four, usually the aisles are three and three, right? Um and so it&#39;s a weird thing. Do you do three and one? Right. Do you do two in front, two and behind? So what we&#39;ve learned is that the best way to do it, well, at least with the kids our age, is do two and two front to back, because then you can pass each other shit. And then you put the annoying kid in the back. So when they kick the seat, it&#39;s the seat of the person, right? Yes. But the travel hack is what we do is we book the window and the aisle seat of those two rows because it makes the only available seat a middle seat. And generally that&#39;s the last one people want. So a lot of the time, like 35% of the time, you&#39;ve got three seats. Nobody&#39;s there. And if somebody does come, always you&#39;re doing them the favor. Correct. Then we&#39;re the hero, and we say, Hey, you have the the aisle, but we&#39;re traveling with my my son. Would you mind moving to the window aisle, however we want to do it? So um, that is our hack. It works sometimes, and it it it when you have the whole row, oh man, that is that is life-changing. Gavin: 12:29 So that&#39;s life changing for sure. Yeah, that&#39;s a fantastic dad hack of the week. I&#39;m so glad you wrote that on the um outline and got right to it. I know, and you and you have and you have a different dad hack of the week. David: 12:39 So we&#39;re gonna have lots of hacks for this episode, I see. We&#39;ll save it for the next time. Um, also, speaking of spring break, we did um our school spring break or spring photos or whatever. And on the form for my daughter. Oh, you know, where they just do it in your daycare. Yes. But what&#39;s hilarious is on the form, they they ask, like, does she have any hobbies, favorite characters, or whatever? Because they want to be able to talk to her and whatever. But then they say, Is there anything that she laughs at or whatever? And I realize that the only thing I can confidently say is if you mention any form of the word poop or butt crack, this child will laugh and give you a great smile. So I have to write on the form for the professional photographer, please say poopy poop butt pants, and she&#39;ll laugh like crazy. And Gavin, we got great photos back. We got great photos back. Gavin: 13:32 So I mean, if you were taking photos of me right now, they would be pretty good ones too. Because I also laugh at poopy poop...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we finally respond to our listener, Gavin wins a battle with his teenage daughter, David travels with his family for Spring Break and doesn&apos;t get divorced, we nominate Tom Daley as the DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 songs that are a &#34;mood.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Of like a prayer is. God damn it, I missed it. God, I was so close. I was like, I have got to get Gavin doing this on the podcast, and I totally fucking missed the window. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 Fuck. David: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, thank you so much for standing by with us and for emailing us. I finally went through, I was telling David before we started recording, I went through our email books. Gavin: 0:40 I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re confessing this on the air live. David: 0:44 I know. I know. I went through our DMs and I went through our emails and we had just a just a stupid amount of just like, we just didn&#39;t respond to you emails. And I feel I feel really bad. I feel really bad. And it&#39;s just for guests and listeners, and it was just like a whole bunch of things. So anyway, one of the I wanted to bring up one of them because um it&#39;s a really good idea and we want to talk about it. So our listener, our one listener, Silverio, which is that really your name. I don&#39;t know, but it said Silverio in the email address, um, emailed us and said, Hey guys, I love your podcast. Thank you all for what you do to celebrate and uplift families like ours. That&#39;s clearly for Gavin. Um, I was wondering if you&#39;ve ever considered organizing or facilitating meetup events for your listeners. I think it would be amazing to have an opportunity to connect in person with other families who share similar experiences, whether it&#39;s a family picnic, a casual hangout, or a more formal event. I&#39;d love to attend something like that and meet more dads and kids in our community. Anyway, just a thought, looking forward to your next episode. Gavin: 1:43 Okay, I&#39;ve already made multiple sounds about this. The oh my God. SPEAKER_00: 1:47 And oh, it is sweet. Gavin: 1:49 It&#39;s a wonderful idea. Listener, do you think we should try this? Then again, our listeners are all over the place, right? I mean, listener, listener travels from place to place and hears it. David: 2:00 Yes, there would be one person at this event, as we know. Um, but yeah, but I think that was my first thought when Savario emailed us was like, it&#39;s a great idea, but like we literally we talked about, listen, I&#39;m marrying Liam from um Scotland. I&#39;m gonna marry Sam from Canada. Like, we&#39;ve got listener everywhere, and so I&#39;m not sure how this would work. I love the idea. We can&#39;t even get our Facebook page together, let alone. I mean, we can&#39;t even respond to emails or to DMs. Gavin: 2:26 And it&#39;s frankly not because there&#39;s so many of them. We&#39;re no, we&#39;re just bad at this. David: 2:30 We&#39;re bad at this. But so Gabe and I are gonna pray on it because I I think this is a great idea. And I think what we would have to do is maybe start do a trial one in probably Manhattan, maybe like Central Park, because that&#39;s closest for Gavin and I. And so maybe we&#39;d have to start one with our New York City centered um dads or any dads who want to travel. But I I love the idea, but Gavin and I are also very lazy. Gavin: 2:52 But let us know, listener, what you think. Let us know. I mean Would you come to something like this? Drop us a line, and would you come to something like this? Yes. And uh, I mean, I would be curious to know. I mean, we&#39;ve been to events like this before, right? I mean, you did men having babies. I was part of a gay dads group in um New York, and it was I there is a it is important, it&#39;s exhausting to be uh obligatory in your socializing and to be a]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we finally respond to our listener, Gavin wins a battle with his teenage daughter, David travels with his family for Spring Break and doesn&apos;t get divorced, we nominate Tom Daley as the DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 songs that are a &#34;mood.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Of like a prayer is. God damn it, I missed it. God, I was so close. I was like, I have got to get Gavin doing this on the podcast, and I totally fucking missed the window. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 Fuck. David: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, thank you so much for standing by with us and for emailing us. I finally went through, I was telling David before we started recording, I went through our email books. Gavin: 0:40 I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re confessing this on the air live. David: 0:44 I know. I know. I went through our DMs and I went through our emails an]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Ethan Levy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-ethan-levy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David changes his entire personality about missing his kids, we have a moment of &#34;aww,&#34; Gavin has good news about conversion therapy, we give honor to the DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Easter traditions, and this week we are joined by gay turducken Ethan Levy who talks to us about being raised to 2 gay dads, being a gay man himself, and why he&apos;s (not yet) in the mile-high club. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Oh, that&#39;s right. Okay. Ready for three? Yeah. Gavin: 0:04 Uh oh yes. David: 0:06 Um literally how our called open this week started was I was taking you took a big breath then and I interrupted you. And then that was funny. And this time you did it to me. And so I guess it came back as a bitch. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so we Gavin and I were just talking before we started recording. Um and Gavin was like, you gotta put this on, you gotta put this on. And it was usually just my trauma dump that we do right before we record. Gavin: 0:44 Which is yes, we have our therapy trauma dump, and then we pretend that everything&#39;s you know light and breezy. David: 0:51 On purpose, though, because when we made the show, the goal was like, let&#39;s do something that is cotton candy. It&#39;s forbiddable, it is not meaningful, and Gavin keeps pushing me on it, and I never I know and it never happens. But anyway, I was talking about I&#39;m learning Dutch right now. For those of you who don&#39;t know, I&#39;m I&#39;m on Duolingo day 66, I think. And um it is partly therapeutic because I knows what&#39;s gonna happen. Because I am way more glass half empty on things. I am 10, 10, as we talked about with poker, I am 10 steps ahead in this process already. I&#39;m not worried about I have to be your survival now. Gavin: 1:26 Yeah, your survival trait is going to be the long term. I can&#39;t see the forest for the trees at all. So, or the trees for the forest, whatever the metaphor may be, you are gonna dutch it up. So I&#39;m touching it up. So what is it like? Uh do you do you actually feel like a toddler right now, learning a new language? Can you suddenly refer relate to your daughter and her vocabulary growth? David: 1:49 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s wild to learn a language as a 45-year-old man because I speak Spanish on your phone. Yeah, exactly. I speak Spanish, but I learned Spanish in middle and high school and college. See, yes, and I had a regular class and I had teachers and I had workbooks and I had all that kind of stuff, and it&#39;s taught in a different way. Duolingo, if you&#39;ve never used it, is an immersion program. It is like you just jump into the pool, they say nothing to you, they just have a picture of a horse and they say part. And you go, okay, I guess that&#39;s part. And then it just moves on from just sheer memorization. Gavin: 2:22 I wonder if the logic behind it is is that at all how toddlers learn? Just like probably. Or is it complete? I mean, we&#39;re ex we&#39;re comparing apples to part. David: 2:32 Oh, we are playing, yes. And and this is not a funny or interesting opening, but um Gavin forced me to say it. So that is what I&#39;m doing. That is my therapy for dealing with the world is going, you know what? If I have to uh uh immigrate to the Netherlands, which is a wonderful place, which I&#39;ve I&#39;ve lived in before. Gavin: 2:49 If I have to proposition a Dutchman, this is how I&#39;m gonna do it. David: 2:52 Listen, if I have to be in or outside of a Dutchman, I will do that as a service to his country. Gavin: 3:00 Um, but then um speaking of Dutch, I was in New Amsterdam yesterday. Oh, New York City. Nice, huh? Nice. I didn&#39;t see any parts. And but what I did see was I man, I was on nostalgia daddyhood walking around. I happened to be on the upper west side. I had two meetings, three meetings for business, for work. And there were so many kids walking around with nannies. And my kids, A, we never had a nanny because what couldn&#39;t afford one? And B, um, we were had weird schedules, you know, so we didn&#39;t need somebody during the day. But anyway, walking around and like being in that world, it is just you know, we had Gabrielle and uh Nathan on, and we were talking so much about uh the difference between having kids in the city and out of the city, and you&#39;re reminded it is another beast in there. And uh when you&#39;re not in the city, it&#39;s just so completely different. But walking around and seeing all those toddlers with nannies and toddlers and McDonald&#39;s and toddlers at Starbucks and parents with toddlers at Starbucks on iPads, and just it&#39;s um it&#39;s a thing. But I do uh I miss those toddler days. That&#39;s another thing. David: 4:06 Like my little male ovaries, my maileries were like, I don&#39;t need a baby, but you&#39;re I I you&#39;re you&#39;re doing the thing that I complain about a lot, but but I I&#39;m gonna defend you. Don&#39;t worry. I I&#39;m gonna slap you and then hug you because I&#39;m I&#39;m a I&#39;m a domestic abuser. But um what what always, as we know, as I talk, yeah, uh no, not funny, not funny at all. Um but the the thing that I complain about all the time is these these older parents are like, oh, but I miss it, you&#39;re gonna miss it, blah, blah, blah. And they forget the 24 hours. However, however, Gaben, my kids are now five and a half and three, and uh a lot of the shitty, boring, stupid parts are gone. No diapers, no uh no extra strollers, no, none of that stuff. And I&#39;m kind of like missing a little bit every once in a while. Like I haven&#39;t held a baby in so long. My kids are fucking massive, and they don&#39;t want to be held by me. But um, it&#39;s funny. I speaking of that, I&#39;ve been traveling a lot lately. And uh, have you? I have been almost every weekend I&#39;ve been gone, and one thing started to change, and it scares me because it&#39;s gonna start to pull the rug out from my soapboxing I&#39;ve been doing for a long time, which is Gavin, I missed my kids. I was gone for 48 hours, yeah. Which normally I&#39;d be like, I didn&#39;t think about the kids. I was in my hotel watching the office the whole time. Who cares? Yeah. I I was literally like, oh, I want to see them again. What is wrong with me? What is that? What is what? Gavin: 5:38 Start a new podcast. David: 5:40 I gotta start a new podcast. Um, but while I was gone, I I there&#39;s all these things that happened. So I put them in an order. So missing the kids, number one. Number two, there was this family on the train to the airport when I was in Chicago that was there, and they had like maybe a one and a half year old, and they dad was literally carrying a giant car seat and a giant plastic bag and two huge suitcases. Mom had this massive stroller, kid was having a meltdown, they looked like fucking asshole. And I was just like looking at all their stuff, uh-huh, and I was like, oh my God, I&#39;m not in that phase anymore. Thank God. That is, thank God. And I, of course, then I was like, oh, but it&#39;s so fun to push them. No, David, stop it. No, it is not. It is snap out of it. Snap out of it. Um, but I did the thing, Gavin, that I do every time. And I&#39;ve complained about this, which is I stare at these kids and smile at them and then smile at the parents, assuming they know that I&#39;m a parent of a child as well. And then I lock eyes with these dads and moms looking at me like, stop staring at my daughter, you fucking freak. So it was a wild, wild weekend. But the one the one last thing I want to mention on my weekend away was I was working at uh this dance studio, and the the owner of the dance studio was talking to me, like, hey, whatever. And she casually mentioned, she goes, Oh, well, my best friend, who&#39;s a gay man and married to his husband, I&#39;m gonna be their surrogate. And I was like, I&#39;m sorry. What? I was like, girl, let&#39;s talk. And it was really fun to hear of a surrogate in the wild getting ready to do this fucking process. And she&#39;s doing traditional surrogacy, so it is a whole bunch of things. So please explain for a listener what that means. Yeah. So the so what Gavin and I did was called gestational surrogacy, where we had an egg donor who was a separate person than the gestational surrogate who actually grew the baby inside of them. So the the gestational surrogate is not biologically related to the child. Um and not the mom and the carrier are not one and the same. Correct. The egg donor and the carrier are not the same. However, traditional surrogacy, they are the same. So the surrogate is actually getting pregnant with her own egg. So she is 50% biologically related to this child. And then so that changes a lot of the laws and all that kind of stuff. But it was wild, it was so complicated. Gavin: 7:46 That&#39;s a layer of complication, frankly. David: 7:48 Oh, legally, because she you know what I mean? Gavin: 7:51 I mean, this is why it was illegal way back in the day, baby Jane or whatever from the early 80s or late 70s or whatever it was in New Jersey. Um, that&#39;s what started the whole anti-surrogacy movement in blue states. David: 8:02 So it was really cool to like have this weekend and then meet this like surrogate that&#39;s joining in in the process. And of course, I was like, you know, oh, this is gonna be so exciting, so fun for you. On the inside, I was like, this is gonna be a nightmare. Good luck. Good luck, good luck with this. Um, but uh terrible. I clearly I&#39;m I&#39;m a changed person because Gavin, I now have another moment of awe. Gavin: 8:24 Oh what? David: 8:26 Yeah, so my daughter, um, who uh is pretty good at bedtime, it&#39;s one of her few times that she&#39;s pretty solid. I put her down, I say goodnight, and I walk out of the room and close the door. Lately, she&#39;s been on this like sticky sweet vibe. And now when I leave, I say I love you, Hannah, and she goes, I love you, Deda. And I say I love you too. She goes, I love you more. And she does this like sticky sweet back and forth, I love you shit. Yeah, it totally works. It totally works. It totally works. On your cold-hearted, it has melted the outer layer of my cold heart. Gavin: 8:59 Did you did you ever watch um Little Britain back in the day? Little Britain is a show that everybody should stop. Turn this stupid podcast off anyway, for as if you needed a reason, and go watch Little Britain from the early aughts, I suppose. And it was these two British, I mean hilarious British comedians who just did sketch comedy, and it was very queer-friendly. There was one, I mean, have you ever heard the term I&#39;m the only gay in the village? Um Okay, well, anyway, there were there were lots of it was all irreverent in only the ways that British people do so very, very well. And there was one scene that was a recurring scene between a mom and a daughter, I suppose, both played by the two men, of course, because that is the British way. And it would quickly go down a rabbit hole of I love you more than ice creamy, I love you more than balloons, I love you more than birthday cake, I love you more than blowjobs, and the parent and the kid would one up each other. I love you more than felting in a condom, I love you more than this, and it was it. Gavin, this is a Christian podcast, please do. It got completely over the top and truly hilarious and side-splittingly disgusting. And again, in the way that only the British can do so well. So I&#39;m glad I have now utterly poisoned your moment of awe as you try to refrain from going beyond unicorns and Sundays for the next time. Yes. I, however, am not a changed man. I am continuing the battle with my daughter to get her into the band, right? The saga continues, and I just want to give the brief update, which is we have moved from bribery to threats. Because it because I&#39;m going to win this, and I&#39;ve had this conversation with so many people, and everybody, basically, everybody&#39;s is like, I get it. I get it. You Gavin, you&#39;re right. You are right, which of course I love. Let&#39;s just stop there. But also, everybody&#39;s like, I&#39;m not sure that forcing her and threatening her is going to be the way to you&#39;re not making a musician. David: 11:06 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Gavin: 11:08 No, I am just, I am just uh forcing, um, I don&#39;t know. David: 11:14 Because you don&#39;t want her to love music, you just want her to be in a music class, is what you&#39;re doing, right? Gavin: 11:21 I want I want her to see that the garden is worth cultivating. And right now she doesn&#39;t realize that there are fields of flowers to be had and fresh strawberries and tomatoes. Nope, she just sees a fallow asphalt field, and um, so I&#39;m trying to force it. I know I am not learning very well whatsoever. But um, speaking of not work not learning very well, this is to this relates to the news of the week. Um, so one bit of cynically good news is that there was a man in Utah who was a conversion therapy uh psychiatrist who was convicted of abusing his clients. David: 12:08 Applause. Applause. Gavin: 12:09 In no way, this is such a dark story, such a very, very, very dark story, obviously. And our hearts go out to all of the victims, of course. But boy, does it feel good. There&#39;s some retribution there for being like conversion therapy, y&#39;all. It doesn&#39;t work. And why would you try to do something like this? And because you know, who is not molesting children? Drag queens and gay dads, you know. Not a single fucking one. SPEAKER_03: 12:31 Yeah. Gavin: 12:31 But who maybe is um these people who are trying to, you know, uh suppress and repress. So I felt like that was sort of good news of the week. David: 12:42 Absolutely. That&#39;s good news. And you know what else is good news? Tell me. Dilf of the week. Yeah, I uh if you have been living under a rock, it probably sounds pretty peaceful underneath there. However, above the rock, Robert Irwin, Steve Irwin&#39;s son, who has taken over his business and he&#39;s now the concert, he&#39;s the head of the conservation fund. He just came out with this like underwear shoot. And of course, it was it was all to like get eyes on his conservation thing or whatever. Well, well done. Gave and it worked. First of all, you&#39;ve now donated all of your proceeds from Gatriarch to his fund. Correct. I don&#39;t know if you saw our uh, we got an email for our like latest round of advertising and it was like 48 cents. But um yeah, it was really nice. But he, first of all, he&#39;s 21, so he&#39;s on the young side. It&#39;s a little young, however, so hot, so beautiful. Also, he&#39;s so kind and so sweet. My issue, if you have seen these photos, he&#39;s wearing like the grossest Walmart straight underwear you&#39;ve ever seen your dad. They&#39;re like long boxer briefs. No, they&#39;re like boxer briefs with like a like a wide waistband that has like the the name on it, and like like it, it just there&#39;s nothing sexy about it. Like, I would have appreciated a sexier underwear, but he&#39;s in every photo, he&#39;s got like you know, a fucking tarantula on his face or a snake on his arm or whatever. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a great campaign. So, and he has a dad. So he is our dilf of the week, Robert Irwin. Gavin: 14:08 All right, Bobby. So, completely unrelated to that, the holiday, another holiday is right around the corner. It&#39;s Easter, and that is the inspiration for our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This was my completely uncreative list, but I do have to say, I don&#39;t know, Easter is a lovely next phase for spring and rejuvenation and the bunnies and all the things and everything. So um, I&#39;m curious if you have any family...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David changes his entire personality about missing his kids, we have a moment of &#34;aww,&#34; Gavin has good news about conversion therapy, we give honor to the DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Easter traditions, and this week we are join]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David changes his entire personality about missing his kids, we have a moment of &#34;aww,&#34; Gavin has good news about conversion therapy, we give honor to the DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Easter traditions, and this week we are joined by gay turducken Ethan Levy who talks to us about being raised to 2 gay dads, being a gay man himself, and why he&apos;s (not yet) in the mile-high club. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Oh, that&#39;s right. Okay. Ready for three? Yeah. Gavin: 0:04 Uh oh yes. David: 0:06 Um literally how our called open this week started was I was taking you took a big breath then and I interrupted you. And then that was funny. And this time you did it to me. And so I guess it came back as a bitch. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so we Gavin and I were just talking before we started recording. Um and Gavin was like, you gotta put this on, you gotta put this on. And it was usually just my trauma dump that we do right before we record. Gavin: 0:44 Which is yes, we have our therapy trauma dump, and then we pretend that everything&#39;s you know light and breezy. David: 0:51 On purpose, though, because when we made the show, the goal was like, let&#39;s do something that is cotton candy. It&#39;s forbiddable, it is not meaningful, and Gavin keeps pushing me on it, and I never I know and it never happens. But anyway, I was talking about I&#39;m learning Dutch right now. For those of you who don&#39;t know, I&#39;m I&#39;m on Duolingo day 66, I think. And um it is partly therapeutic because I knows what&#39;s gonna happen. Because I am way more glass half empty on things. I am 10, 10, as we talked about with poker, I am 10 steps ahead in this process already. I&#39;m not worried about I have to be your survival now. Gavin: 1:26 Yeah, your survival trait is going to be the long term. I can&#39;t see the forest for the trees at all. So, or the trees for the forest, whatever the metaphor may be, you are gonna dutch it up. So I&#39;m touching it up. So what is it like? Uh do you do you actually feel like a toddler right now, learning a new language? Can you suddenly refer relate to your daughter and her vocabulary growth? David: 1:49 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s wild to learn a language as a 45-year-old man because I speak Spanish on your phone. Yeah, exactly. I speak Spanish, but I learned Spanish in middle and high school and college. See, yes, and I had a regular class and I had teachers and I had workbooks and I had all that kind of stuff, and it&#39;s taught in a different way. Duolingo, if you&#39;ve never used it, is an immersion program. It is like you just jump into the pool, they say nothing to you, they just have a picture of a horse and they say part. And you go, okay, I guess that&#39;s part. And then it just moves on from just sheer memorization. Gavin: 2:22 I wonder if the logic behind it is is that at all how toddlers learn? Just like probably. Or is it complete? I mean, we&#39;re ex we&#39;re comparing apples to part. David: 2:32 Oh, we are playing, yes. And and this is not a funny or interesting opening, but um Gavin forced me to say it. So that is what I&#39;m doing. That is my therapy for dealing with the world is going, you know what? If I have to uh uh immigrate to the Netherlands, which is a wonderful place, which I&#39;ve I&#39;ve lived in before. Gavin: 2:49 If I have to proposition a Dutchman, this is how I&#39;m gonna do it. David: 2:52 Listen, if I have to be in or outside of a Dutchman, I will do that as a service to his country. Gavin: 3:00 Um, but then um speaking of Dutch, I was in New Amsterdam yesterday. Oh, New York City. Nice, huh? Nice. I didn&#39;t see any parts. And but what I did see was I man, I was on nostalgia daddyhood walking around. I happened to be on the upper west side. I had two meetings, three meetings for business, for work. And there were so many kids walking around with nannies. And my kids, A, we never had a nanny because what couldn&#39;t afford one? And B, um, we were had weird schedules, you know, so we didn&#39;t need somebody during the day. But anyway, walking around and like being in that world, it is just you know, we had Gabrielle and uh Nathan on, and we were talking so much about uh the difference between having kids in the city and out of the city, and you&#39;re reminded it is another beast in there. And uh when you&#39;re not in the city, it&#39;s just so completely different. But walking around and seeing all those toddlers with nannies and toddlers and McDonald&#39;s and toddlers at Starbucks and parents with toddlers at Starbucks on iPads, and just it&#39;s um it&#39;s a thing. But I do uh I miss those toddler days. That&#39;s another thing. David: 4:06 Like my little male ovaries, my maileries were like, I don&#39;t need a baby, but you&#39;re I I you&#39;re you&#39;re doing the thing that I complain about a lot, but but I I&#39;m gonna defend you. Don&#39;t worry. I I&#39;m gonna slap you and then hug you because I&#39;m I&#39;m a I&#39;m a domestic abuser. But um what what always, as we know, as I talk, yeah, uh no, not funny, not funny at all. Um but the the thing that I complain about all the time is these these older parents are like, oh, but I miss it, you&#39;re gonna miss it, blah, blah, blah. And they forget the 24 hours. However, however, Gaben, my kids are now five and a half and three, and uh a lot of the shitty, boring, stupid parts are gone. No diapers, no uh no extra strollers, no, none of that stuff. And I&#39;m kind of like missing a little bit every once in a while. Like I haven&#39;t held a baby in so long. My kids are fucking massive, and they don&#39;t want to be held by me. But um, it&#39;s funny. I speaking of that, I&#39;ve been traveling a lot lately. And uh, have you? I have been almost every weekend I&#39;ve been gone, and one thing started to change, and it scares me because it&#39;s gonna start to pull the rug out from my soapboxing I&#39;ve been doing for a long time, which is Gavin, I missed my kids. I was gone for 48 hours, yeah. Which normally I&#39;d be like, I didn&#39;t think about the kids. I was in my hotel watching the office the whole time. Who cares? Yeah. I I was literally like, oh, I want to see them again. What is wrong with me? What is that? What is what? Gavin: 5:38 Start a new podcast. David: 5:40 I gotta start a new podcast. Um, but while I was gone, I I there&#39;s all these things that happened. So I put them in an order. So missing the kids, number one. Number two, there was this family on the train to the airport when I was in Chicago that was there, and they had like maybe a one and a half year old, and they dad was literally carrying a giant car seat and a giant plastic bag and two huge suitcases. Mom had this massive stroller, kid was having a meltdown, they looked like fucking asshole. And I was just like looking at all their stuff, uh-huh, and I was like, oh my God, I&#39;m not in that phase anymore. Thank God. That is, thank God. And I, of course, then I was like, oh, but it&#39;s so fun to push them. No, David, stop it. No, it is not. It is snap out of it. Snap out of it. Um, but I did the thing, Gavin, that I do every time. And I&#39;ve complained about this, which is I stare at these kids and smile at them and then smile at the parents, assuming they know that I&#39;m a parent of a child as well. And then I lock eyes with these dads and moms looking at me like, stop staring at my daughter, you fucking freak. So it was a wild, wild weekend. But the one the one last thing I want to mention on my weekend away was I was working at uh this dance studio, and the the owner of the dance studio was talking to me, like, hey, whatever. And she casually mentioned, she goes, Oh, well, my best friend, who&#39;s a gay man and married to his husband, I&#39;m gonna be their surrogate. And I was like, I&#39;m sorry. What? I was like, girl, let&#39;s talk. And it was really fun to hear of a surrogate in the wild getting ready to do this fucking process. And she&#39;s doing traditional surrogacy, so it is a whole bunch of things. So please explain for a listener what that means. Yeah. So the so what Gavin and I did was called gestational surrogacy, where we had an egg donor who was a separate person than the gestational surrogate who actually grew the baby inside of them. So the the gestational surrogate is not biologically related to the child. Um and not the mom and the carrier are not one and the same. Correct. The egg donor and the carrier are not the same. However, traditional surrogacy, they are the same. So the surrogate is actually getting pregnant with her own egg. So she is 50% biologically related to this child. And then so that changes a lot of the laws and all that kind of stuff. But it was wild, it was so complicated. Gavin: 7:46 That&#39;s a layer of complication, frankly. David: 7:48 Oh, legally, because she you know what I mean? Gavin: 7:51 I mean, this is why it was illegal way back in the day, baby Jane or whatever from the early 80s or late 70s or whatever it was in New Jersey. Um, that&#39;s what started the whole anti-surrogacy movement in blue states. David: 8:02 So it was really cool to like have this weekend and then meet this like surrogate that&#39;s joining in in the process. And of course, I was like, you know, oh, this is gonna be so exciting, so fun for you. On the inside, I was like, this is gonna be a nightmare. Good luck. Good luck, good luck with this. Um, but uh terrible. I clearly I&#39;m I&#39;m a changed person because Gavin, I now have another moment of awe. Gavin: 8:24 Oh what? David: 8:26 Yeah, so my daughter, um, who uh is pretty good at bedtime, it&#39;s one of her few times that she&#39;s pretty solid. I put her down, I say goodnight, and I walk out of the room and close the door. Lately, she&#39;s been on this like sticky sweet vibe. And now when I leave, I say I love you, Hannah, and she goes, I love you, Deda. And I say I love you too. She goes, I love you more. And she does this like sticky sweet back and forth, I love you shit. Yeah, it totally works. It totally works. It totally works. On your cold-hearted, it has melted the outer layer of my cold heart. Gavin: 8:59 Did you did you ever watch um Little Britain back in the day? Little Britain is a show that everybody should stop. Turn this stupid podcast off anyway, for as if you needed a reason, and go watch Little Britain from the early aughts, I suppose. And it was these two British, I mean hilarious British comedians who just did sketch comedy, and it was very queer-friendly. There was one, I mean, have you ever heard the term I&#39;m the only gay in the village? Um Okay, well, anyway, there were there were lots of it was all irreverent in only the ways that British people do so very, very well. And there was one scene that was a recurring scene between a mom and a daughter, I suppose, both played by the two men, of course, because that is the British way. And it would quickly go down a rabbit hole of I love you more than ice creamy, I love you more than balloons, I love you more than birthday cake, I love you more than blowjobs, and the parent and the kid would one up each other. I love you more than felting in a condom, I love you more than this, and it was it. Gavin, this is a Christian podcast, please do. It got completely over the top and truly hilarious and side-splittingly disgusting. And again, in the way that only the British can do so well. So I&#39;m glad I have now utterly poisoned your moment of awe as you try to refrain from going beyond unicorns and Sundays for the next time. Yes. I, however, am not a changed man. I am continuing the battle with my daughter to get her into the band, right? The saga continues, and I just want to give the brief update, which is we have moved from bribery to threats. Because it because I&#39;m going to win this, and I&#39;ve had this conversation with so many people, and everybody, basically, everybody&#39;s is like, I get it. I get it. You Gavin, you&#39;re right. You are right, which of course I love. Let&#39;s just stop there. But also, everybody&#39;s like, I&#39;m not sure that forcing her and threatening her is going to be the way to you&#39;re not making a musician. David: 11:06 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Gavin: 11:08 No, I am just, I am just uh forcing, um, I don&#39;t know. David: 11:14 Because you don&#39;t want her to love music, you just want her to be in a music class, is what you&#39;re doing, right? Gavin: 11:21 I want I want her to see that the garden is worth cultivating. And right now she doesn&#39;t realize that there are fields of flowers to be had and fresh strawberries and tomatoes. Nope, she just sees a fallow asphalt field, and um, so I&#39;m trying to force it. I know I am not learning very well whatsoever. But um, speaking of not work not learning very well, this is to this relates to the news of the week. Um, so one bit of cynically good news is that there was a man in Utah who was a conversion therapy uh psychiatrist who was convicted of abusing his clients. David: 12:08 Applause. Applause. Gavin: 12:09 In no way, this is such a dark story, such a very, very, very dark story, obviously. And our hearts go out to all of the victims, of course. But boy, does it feel good. There&#39;s some retribution there for being like conversion therapy, y&#39;all. It doesn&#39;t work. And why would you try to do something like this? And because you know, who is not molesting children? Drag queens and gay dads, you know. Not a single fucking one. SPEAKER_03: 12:31 Yeah. Gavin: 12:31 But who maybe is um these people who are trying to, you know, uh suppress and repress. So I felt like that was sort of good news of the week. David: 12:42 Absolutely. That&#39;s good news. And you know what else is good news? Tell me. Dilf of the week. Yeah, I uh if you have been living under a rock, it probably sounds pretty peaceful underneath there. However, above the rock, Robert Irwin, Steve Irwin&#39;s son, who has taken over his business and he&#39;s now the concert, he&#39;s the head of the conservation fund. He just came out with this like underwear shoot. And of course, it was it was all to like get eyes on his conservation thing or whatever. Well, well done. Gave and it worked. First of all, you&#39;ve now donated all of your proceeds from Gatriarch to his fund. Correct. I don&#39;t know if you saw our uh, we got an email for our like latest round of advertising and it was like 48 cents. But um yeah, it was really nice. But he, first of all, he&#39;s 21, so he&#39;s on the young side. It&#39;s a little young, however, so hot, so beautiful. Also, he&#39;s so kind and so sweet. My issue, if you have seen these photos, he&#39;s wearing like the grossest Walmart straight underwear you&#39;ve ever seen your dad. They&#39;re like long boxer briefs. No, they&#39;re like boxer briefs with like a like a wide waistband that has like the the name on it, and like like it, it just there&#39;s nothing sexy about it. Like, I would have appreciated a sexier underwear, but he&#39;s in every photo, he&#39;s got like you know, a fucking tarantula on his face or a snake on his arm or whatever. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a great campaign. So, and he has a dad. So he is our dilf of the week, Robert Irwin. Gavin: 14:08 All right, Bobby. So, completely unrelated to that, the holiday, another holiday is right around the corner. It&#39;s Easter, and that is the inspiration for our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This was my completely uncreative list, but I do have to say, I don&#39;t know, Easter is a lovely next phase for spring and rejuvenation and the bunnies and all the things and everything. So um, I&#39;m curious if you have any family...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David changes his entire personality about missing his kids, we have a moment of &#34;aww,&#34; Gavin has good news about conversion therapy, we give honor to the DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Easter traditions, and this week we are joined by gay turducken Ethan Levy who talks to us about being raised to 2 gay dads, being a gay man himself, and why he&apos;s (not yet) in the mile-high club. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Oh, that&#39;s right. Okay. Ready for three? Yeah. Gavin: 0:04 Uh oh yes. David: 0:06 Um literally how our called open this week started was I was taking you took a big breath then and I interrupted you. And then that was funny. And this time you did it to me. And so I guess it came back as a bitch. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so we Gavin and I were just talking before we started recording. Um and Gavin was like, you gotta put this on, you gotta put this on. And it was usually just my trauma dump that we do right before we record. Gavin: 0:44 Which is yes, we have our therapy trauma dump, and then we pretend that everything&#39;s you know light and breezy. David: 0:51 On purpose, though, because when we made the show, the goal was like, let&#39;s do something that is cotton candy. It&#39;s forbiddable, it is not meaningful, and Gavin keeps pushing me on it, and I never I know and it never happens. But anyway, I was talking about I&#39;m learning Dutch right now. For those of you who don&#39;t know, I&#39;m I&#39;m on Duolingo day 66, I think. And um it is partly therapeutic because I knows what&#39;s gonna happen. Because I am way more glass half empty on things. I am 10, 10, as we talked about with poker, I am 10 steps ahead in this process already. I&#39;m not worried about I have to be your survival now. Gavin: 1:26 Yeah, your survival trait is going to be the long term. I can&#39;t see the forest for the trees at all. So, or the trees for the forest, whatever the metaphor may be, you are gonna dutch it up. So I&#39;m touching it up. So what is it like? Uh do you do you actually feel like a toddler right now, learning a new language? Can you suddenly refer relate to your daughter and her vocabulary growth? David: 1:49 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s wild to learn a language as a 45-year-old man because I speak Spanish on your phone. Yeah, exactly. I speak Spanish, but I learned Spanish in middle and high school and college. See, yes, and I had a regular class and I had teachers and I had workbooks and I had all that kind of stuff, and it&#39;s taught in a different way. Duolingo, if you&#39;ve never used it, is an immersion program. It is like you just jump into the pool, they say nothing to you, they just have a picture of a horse and they say part. And you go, okay, I guess that&#39;s part. And then it just moves on from just sheer memorization. Gavin: 2:22 I wonder if the logic behind it is is that at all how toddlers learn? Just like probably. Or is it complete? I mean, we&#39;re ex we&#39;re comparing apples to part. David: 2:32 Oh, we are playing, yes. And and this is not a funny or interesting opening, but um Gavin forced me to say it. So that is what I&#39;m doing. That is my therapy for dealing with the world is going, you know what? If I have to uh uh immigrate to the Netherlands, which is a wonderful place, which I&#39;ve I&#39;ve lived in before. Gavin: 2:49 If I have to proposition a Dutchman, this is how I&#39;m gonna do it. David: 2:52 Listen, if I have to be in or outside of a Dutchman, I will do that as a service to his country. Gavin: 3:00 Um, but then um speaking of Dutch, I was in New Amsterdam yesterday. Oh, New York City. Nice, huh? Nice. I didn&#39;t see any parts. And but what I did see was I man, I was on nostalgia daddyhood walking around. I happened to be on the upper west side. I had two meetings, three meetings for business, for work. And th]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David changes his entire personality about missing his kids, we have a moment of &#34;aww,&#34; Gavin has good news about conversion therapy, we give honor to the DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Easter traditions, and this week we are joined by gay turducken Ethan Levy who talks to us about being raised to 2 gay dads, being a gay man himself, and why he&apos;s (not yet) in the mile-high club. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Oh, that&#39;s right. Okay. Ready for three? Yeah. Gavin: 0:04 Uh oh yes. David: 0:06 Um literally how our called open this week started was I was taking you took a big breath then and I interrupted you. And then that was funny. And this time you did it to me. And so I guess it came back as a bitch. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so we Gavin and I were just talking before we started recording. Um and Gavin was like, you gotta pu]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with High Line mastermind Robbie Hammond</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-high-line-mastermind-robbie-hammond/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-16938774</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, strange sounds are coming from David&apos;s house, Gavin won&apos;t let things go, America&apos;s finest news source is serving, we rank the top 3 women, and this week we are joined by gay dad Robbie Hammond who talks to us about how he came up with NYC&apos;s High Line project, why he&apos;s obsessed with bath houses, and why he&apos;s trying to convince gay men not to have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Um, let me just label those always quick. I&#39;m sorry. You took a big breath like you&#39;re about to start talking. And I totally interrupt. It&#39;s like when somebody interrupts a yawn and you&#39;re like, motherfucker. And this is gay trick. So, as you know, from last week&#39;s episode, um, my daughter has had a medical um situation in her bathing suit area. And so it has involved um antibiotic, like um for oral antibiotics and then also a cream for her nether regions. And I was just thinking about like the shit that comes out of your mouth as a parent that in the moment is so normal and real and actual, and there&#39;s nothing funny about it. But then you just pretend like you&#39;ve walked by the house and listen. This morning, my husband walked upstairs. And I uh I oh no, I&#39;m sorry, I was upstairs and my husband was downstairs, and I had written on our calendar a little star, which was to designate the end of putting this cream on her vagina. And I&#39;m upstairs and my husband yells, What does the asterisk mean on the calendar? And I&#39;m screaming from the other room, it&#39;s the last day of the vagina cream. And he goes, What? I said, Vagina cream. He said, What? It&#39;s the last day of Hannah&#39;s vagina cream. And so we&#39;re screaming at each other about her vagina cream. And I just kept thinking, if anybody&#39;s walking by this house and they hear two gay men yelling at each other from either floor, so today is the last day that I have to do this. Soward to that. Gavin: 1:56 Fantastic. And everything is cleared up and everything, and she&#39;s not in discomfort. Totally fine. And yes. That is something. Well, speaking of torturing our children or actually making their lives better, you&#39;re welcome very much. Um, I have no real updates on the saga of Gavin getting his soon-to-be high schooler back into music. She still hates music. She hates it. Of course. So I have now for I have now outlawed singing in our house. David: 2:23 I have outlawed singing. Reverend Shaw Moore is foot loose. You&#39;re like, oh. Gavin: 2:27 Listen, if you don&#39;t, if you hate music and you don&#39;t want to continue your music education, then I don&#39;t want to hear it around the house. I&#39;ve gone super DEF COM 6 negativity. Last night at dinner, listen, I&#39;ve, as you know, as from last week, and listener knows from last week that um I we&#39;ve tried to bribe. We&#39;re not getting a puppy to assuage, but we have tried to bribe with positivity. And last night, as I casually, I just sensed that maybe he we had crossed a corner turned a corner and that she was gonna be like, okay, I&#39;ll do it. Um, she was like, Oh, absolutely not. And I said, Okay, then I&#39;m taking away we you will have serious limits on your phone time, which that only turned into utter pushback, and that&#39;s not fair. No, you won&#39;t. Like, it wasn&#39;t it&#39;s like she&#39;s in pre-denial that I can be an asshole. And I&#39;m like, oh girl, oh girl, I am going to win this saga to rust me. And I&#39;m not alone. My partner feels the same way. So it&#39;s just that I&#39;m the one who choose these battles. David: 3:33 I thought you were gonna take a step back and let her come to you. Be like, you don&#39;t need to go and let her find the joy of music instead of lighting pianos on fire in your house. Gavin: 3:42 Yep. I the pianos are still on fire. They are will be smoldering until that I get that. But listen, we&#39;re under a deadline. We gotta make these choices sooner. We&#39;re already past the deadline, frankly. So I gotta fix this problem. And um the problem is in you. David: 3:57 I&#39;m holding up a mirror. I&#39;m holding up a mirror. The problem is you let it go for an entire year. Say you no music for you, we don&#39;t have to do it. Give her the year to be her own self and to stick it to you and to piss off her dad and let her find, let the music find her. Gavin: 4:13 David, I I I know that I I would in under normal circumstances, I would say, do not record me saying this, but I know that you are correct. David: 4:27 Oh, that is gonna be our new promo video. It&#39;s just you saying that over and over again. However, I will not be following that advice. You know what? I appreciate it. I appreciate somebody who knows the right move and chooses not to go down that path. Oh man. Um, this is a random thing, but I put it on the list because I have never experienced this before, and I know you have. It&#39;s my first time. I have a five and a half-year-old boy who the the teacher, the after-school teacher called me and said, Your son&#39;s not feeling well. He&#39;s asking if he could go home. Do you want to talk to him on the phone? I said, sure, put him on the phone. And I immediately realized I&#39;ve never talked to my son on the phone before. I&#39;ve had FaceTimes with him when I&#39;m out of town working. I&#39;ve never had an audio hold the phone up to your ear, and your your kid is on the other end of the phone. Gavin: 5:14 And does he know how to do that actually? David: 5:16 I I wasn&#39;t there. So I mean he he talked to the phone normally. Uh-huh. But Gavin, it was the most unsettling thing. I first of all, he didn&#39;t sound like himself. He sounded like this little baby child that I&#39;ve never spoken to. But it was this, I was, it was an out-of-body experience. I was like, I&#39;m having a phone call with my baby, who&#39;s five and a half, right? Right. But like, it was so fucking weird to have this conversation. Is that weird that it was weird? Gavin: 5:44 No, I think that&#39;s a surreal moment for sure, when it&#39;s almost like you&#39;ve disembodied your child, your child from the voice from the body to the presence and everything. Yeah, that seems like a rite of passage. I&#39;m glad you said that. And they&#39;re like older. Yeah. Yeah. David: 5:57 And like they&#39;re they&#39;re like old, like, I can call my son now. Gavin: 6:00 And he&#39;s communicating in a way to verbalize his needs, not just whine about them. Like, this is that&#39;s a big step. David: 6:08 Wow. It is really fucking weird. Anyway, that that there&#39;s no point to that story other than like, I think this is one of those, like we talk about like the the changes in your kids, your kids growing up and becoming different people, doesn&#39;t happen in these big bangs. It happens in these little quiet moments. And that was for sure one where I was like, I just can call my son on the phone and chat about things. Gavin: 6:26 These big bang moments of uh like big growth uh reminds me of this morning, driving my kids to school because we were well, we choose to be late often on Fridays. So anyway, we were chatting. And our cat this morning brought in a mole um up to the doorstep because she loves us, apparently. So, of course, a cat&#39;s love language is killing rodents and bringing them to us. And so we had this whole discussion about, oh, she&#39;s so cute. It was funny. It was, oh, she&#39;s so cute that she&#39;s bringing us dead rodents. Oh, she&#39;s so cute. She&#39;s so and we realized their ages, and our cat is now we had a pandemic cat, so she&#39;s gonna be five soon. Our dog is three, and my daughter&#39;s saying, Oh, little babies just growing up. And I&#39;m like, Oh, you have no idea. And also, please do banned. In fact, you have to do banned. Let it go. So, speaking of not letting things go, oh, here we go. Everything is terrible, right? Um, as we know. But here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, I have nothing but good news to bring, okay? Oh, so two great things are coming out of Congress. I would also mention that it is not coming from people actually trying to stop Donald Trump in his dismantling of uh democracy. But anyway, anyway, keeping it positive, uh, there are two Congress people up in the Northeast, shout out to New England, uh, making change for good. U.S. Representative Becca Balint, who&#39;s from Vermont, has actually introduced a bill that is called the Transgender Health Care Access Act. And it establishes grants to support medical education programs and professional training in um transition-related care and to expand access to such services in rural communities. Now, listener, if you think that I just read that from a copy-paste from an article, I absolutely did, but I didn&#39;t want to get it. David: 8:16 I&#39;m looking at it in the outline right now. Gavin: 8:17 Didn&#39;t want to get it wrong. But like how fantastic that she&#39;s like, you know what? Let&#39;s stop the nonsense. And um She&#39;s trying to turn our kids trans. I get it. Yeah, yeah. David: 8:27 Right. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Gavin: 8:29 So shout out Representative Becca Balint. If you want to come on to Gatriarchs and talk to us about your act, uh, we would love to have you. And then also from neighboring state New Hampshire, there is not only, I knew that there were some gay representatives in the uh U.S. House of Representatives out there, but Chris Papas is an out-gay congressman from New Hampshire, and he is running for the U.S. Senate. So were he to win, um, so Senator Jean Shaheen is actually um, this is her last session, so she he will be running next year. And it&#39;s gonna be a full slate of people, probably, uh including the very popular governor Sununu, is also running. But nevertheless, hey, Chris Papas, come on to Gatriarchs and tell us about your Senate race. And I would say that that makes him, by default, whether or not he has kids, our doof of the week. So he&#39;s cute too. Look up pictures of him. David: 9:21 He&#39;s very cute. Yeah, he&#39;s the he looks like your college boyfriend that you dumped for like the bad guy, and then you regret dumping him. Gavin: 9:29 Because he&#39;s such a good guy. David: 9:31 He&#39;s he&#39;s the guy you want to have a long-term relationship with, but you dumped him because he was too nice. Yep. Do you know what I mean? Gavin: 9:38 And he had boring hair, probably. So, and let&#39;s he&#39;s got very senatorial hair, that&#39;s for sure. Uh, yeah. Anyway, uh, speaking of nothing. David: 9:48 I thought we were I I was literally in my head going, how do we get into the top three? With hair. Speaking of senatorial, um speaking of dumping your ex. Yeah. Gavin: 9:58 It&#39;s our top three list. Gate three marks. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 10:03 All right, this list is my list, and I painted myself into a fucking corner. This is a tough one. This was so tough because the so the top three lists this week is the top three women. Right? And I purposely chose that as to be really, I wanted it to be difficult. And you&#39;re so clever, and you&#39;re so fetishing. But then as soon as I sat down, I was like, are we talking about my mom? My, you know, these kind of people. Or then I&#39;m thinking, like, are these people who change the world? Are we talking about recurring? Are we talking about like and and I just, yeah, and I literally was like, I don&#39;t know what to fucking do. Just pick a category. Just pick a category. So I, my, my list, my top three list is the top three women who are top in their field. And and and there are a million other fields and a million other women. And I literally have a list of about 20 people long, yeah. Where I was looking at it and I was like, these are all women that I&#39;m obsessed with. I mean, Rashonda that we talked about a couple a couple weeks ago, a couple episodes ago. I was like, oh, oh yeah, she would be a great woman. So without further ado, here are my top three women. Okay. Number three, Michelle Obama. Totes. And I don&#39;t even know what category. She&#39;s not the top three politicians. Absolutely. She&#39;s not the top three woman politician. Mom. She&#39;s just, she&#39;s just, she&#39;s the top. Yeah. She&#39;s the top. She&#39;s the top. And she&#39;s probably the top in that relationship. Uh number two in my kind of singer-songwriter category, Dolly Parton. Oh, again, that&#39;s a gay, that&#39;s a very gay choice. That&#39;s a very gay coded choice. But she is top woman. Yeah. What an incredible woman. Not only, obviously, she&#39;s an incredible musician, but like the the good she does for the community with reading and all of that shit. And I don&#39;t necessarily totally agree with her stance in politics about like, I don&#39;t talk about politics, but I do appreciate that she did that in an effort to allow gay people to still follow her and be a be a fan of her. So number two, Dolly Parton. Um, and number one, again, I there are other great women, but the number one for me, because she&#39;s an actress, but more importantly, she is a comedian who whose work still makes me like gutturally belly laugh. And that is Carol Burnett. Oh, yeah. Carol Burnett, if you watch Annie, the movie, the original movie of Annie, her scenes are so fucking funny. Yeah. To this day, it doesn&#39;t look like old-timey funny. Yeah. It&#39;s like nowadays funny. She sings Little Girls in that movie. She&#39;s I watched it recently because my kids are obsessed with it. And she is walking around this apartment and there&#39;s like low-hanging lights that keep hitting her in the face. It is so fucking funny. So there you go. Number one, Carol Burnett. What about you? Gavin: 12:43 Okay, so I did curse you on this one for sure because um it was so open-ended, as you already made the disclaimer. So I&#39;m gonna go with what are the three names of women that came to mind first, or what what just immediately popped into mind? So I just went with my gut reaction, okay? This is not because I didn&#39;t do this three seconds before getting to it in the script. We&#39;re aware. Yeah. First and foremost, right now, woman in my world, AOC. She is so she&#39;s so brave. She speaks truth. Um, whether or not you agree with her, I do feel like that she is one of the most uh transparent and brave and logical people in our world right now. So AOC comes to mind. Number two, oh god, Madonna, just cuz. Just cuz I hear that. I realize I went one, two, three, which is your hugest uh nightmare with me. But you know what? These are all number one. Let me just rephrase that. These are all number ones for me. The number ones who just come to mind. Number one, I will say, my mom. So I&#39;ll just that&#39;s that&#39;s pretty fucked up. David: 13:51 Sorry, mom, that Gabin took the mom slot, and I don&#39;t I don&#39;t get to say mom, mom, my mom is number one. Gavin: 13:57 And then, but I also want to give a um uh honorable mention to Betsy and Amy, our listener, who pride themselves on being our listener. And I think that we do have lots of women listening to our podcast, absolutely. Yeah, because you don&#39;t know, you want to create a community and you don&#39;t know what&#39;s out there, but we&#39;re just following our instincts, and we are so proud to you&#39;re all gatriarchs out there. So um shout out to all the women who are listeners. David: 14:28 We we love our listener because we are obsessed with women and you know, going with your AOC, like one of the things I I I I I couldn&#39;t do that AOC does perfectly is people like the the right fucking hate. Hate her hate and the fact that she continues to do the things in the way she does, the transparency, all that stuff. It&#39;s why Hillary Clinton was on my list because I was like, that woman, people fucking hate Hillary Clinton, but she still fucking plugs on and fights and does her work and does for the good. And I just like I I am not mature enough to do that. If people come for me, I would spend all day being mean to clapping back. They don&#39;t. They&#39;re like, listen, I&#39;m not clapping back. I have a live to do to talk about the new policy...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, strange sounds are coming from David&apos;s house, Gavin won&apos;t let things go, America&apos;s finest news source is serving, we rank the top 3 women, and this week we are joined by gay dad Robbie Hammond who talks to us about how he came u]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, strange sounds are coming from David&apos;s house, Gavin won&apos;t let things go, America&apos;s finest news source is serving, we rank the top 3 women, and this week we are joined by gay dad Robbie Hammond who talks to us about how he came up with NYC&apos;s High Line project, why he&apos;s obsessed with bath houses, and why he&apos;s trying to convince gay men not to have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Um, let me just label those always quick. I&#39;m sorry. You took a big breath like you&#39;re about to start talking. And I totally interrupt. It&#39;s like when somebody interrupts a yawn and you&#39;re like, motherfucker. And this is gay trick. So, as you know, from last week&#39;s episode, um, my daughter has had a medical um situation in her bathing suit area. And so it has involved um antibiotic, like um for oral antibiotics and then also a cream for her nether regions. And I was just thinking about like the shit that comes out of your mouth as a parent that in the moment is so normal and real and actual, and there&#39;s nothing funny about it. But then you just pretend like you&#39;ve walked by the house and listen. This morning, my husband walked upstairs. And I uh I oh no, I&#39;m sorry, I was upstairs and my husband was downstairs, and I had written on our calendar a little star, which was to designate the end of putting this cream on her vagina. And I&#39;m upstairs and my husband yells, What does the asterisk mean on the calendar? And I&#39;m screaming from the other room, it&#39;s the last day of the vagina cream. And he goes, What? I said, Vagina cream. He said, What? It&#39;s the last day of Hannah&#39;s vagina cream. And so we&#39;re screaming at each other about her vagina cream. And I just kept thinking, if anybody&#39;s walking by this house and they hear two gay men yelling at each other from either floor, so today is the last day that I have to do this. Soward to that. Gavin: 1:56 Fantastic. And everything is cleared up and everything, and she&#39;s not in discomfort. Totally fine. And yes. That is something. Well, speaking of torturing our children or actually making their lives better, you&#39;re welcome very much. Um, I have no real updates on the saga of Gavin getting his soon-to-be high schooler back into music. She still hates music. She hates it. Of course. So I have now for I have now outlawed singing in our house. David: 2:23 I have outlawed singing. Reverend Shaw Moore is foot loose. You&#39;re like, oh. Gavin: 2:27 Listen, if you don&#39;t, if you hate music and you don&#39;t want to continue your music education, then I don&#39;t want to hear it around the house. I&#39;ve gone super DEF COM 6 negativity. Last night at dinner, listen, I&#39;ve, as you know, as from last week, and listener knows from last week that um I we&#39;ve tried to bribe. We&#39;re not getting a puppy to assuage, but we have tried to bribe with positivity. And last night, as I casually, I just sensed that maybe he we had crossed a corner turned a corner and that she was gonna be like, okay, I&#39;ll do it. Um, she was like, Oh, absolutely not. And I said, Okay, then I&#39;m taking away we you will have serious limits on your phone time, which that only turned into utter pushback, and that&#39;s not fair. No, you won&#39;t. Like, it wasn&#39;t it&#39;s like she&#39;s in pre-denial that I can be an asshole. And I&#39;m like, oh girl, oh girl, I am going to win this saga to rust me. And I&#39;m not alone. My partner feels the same way. So it&#39;s just that I&#39;m the one who choose these battles. David: 3:33 I thought you were gonna take a step back and let her come to you. Be like, you don&#39;t need to go and let her find the joy of music instead of lighting pianos on fire in your house. Gavin: 3:42 Yep. I the pianos are still on fire. They are will be smoldering until that I get that. But listen, we&#39;re under a deadline. We gotta make these choices sooner. We&#39;re already past the deadline, frankly. So I gotta fix this problem. And um the problem is in you. David: 3:57 I&#39;m holding up a mirror. I&#39;m holding up a mirror. The problem is you let it go for an entire year. Say you no music for you, we don&#39;t have to do it. Give her the year to be her own self and to stick it to you and to piss off her dad and let her find, let the music find her. Gavin: 4:13 David, I I I know that I I would in under normal circumstances, I would say, do not record me saying this, but I know that you are correct. David: 4:27 Oh, that is gonna be our new promo video. It&#39;s just you saying that over and over again. However, I will not be following that advice. You know what? I appreciate it. I appreciate somebody who knows the right move and chooses not to go down that path. Oh man. Um, this is a random thing, but I put it on the list because I have never experienced this before, and I know you have. It&#39;s my first time. I have a five and a half-year-old boy who the the teacher, the after-school teacher called me and said, Your son&#39;s not feeling well. He&#39;s asking if he could go home. Do you want to talk to him on the phone? I said, sure, put him on the phone. And I immediately realized I&#39;ve never talked to my son on the phone before. I&#39;ve had FaceTimes with him when I&#39;m out of town working. I&#39;ve never had an audio hold the phone up to your ear, and your your kid is on the other end of the phone. Gavin: 5:14 And does he know how to do that actually? David: 5:16 I I wasn&#39;t there. So I mean he he talked to the phone normally. Uh-huh. But Gavin, it was the most unsettling thing. I first of all, he didn&#39;t sound like himself. He sounded like this little baby child that I&#39;ve never spoken to. But it was this, I was, it was an out-of-body experience. I was like, I&#39;m having a phone call with my baby, who&#39;s five and a half, right? Right. But like, it was so fucking weird to have this conversation. Is that weird that it was weird? Gavin: 5:44 No, I think that&#39;s a surreal moment for sure, when it&#39;s almost like you&#39;ve disembodied your child, your child from the voice from the body to the presence and everything. Yeah, that seems like a rite of passage. I&#39;m glad you said that. And they&#39;re like older. Yeah. Yeah. David: 5:57 And like they&#39;re they&#39;re like old, like, I can call my son now. Gavin: 6:00 And he&#39;s communicating in a way to verbalize his needs, not just whine about them. Like, this is that&#39;s a big step. David: 6:08 Wow. It is really fucking weird. Anyway, that that there&#39;s no point to that story other than like, I think this is one of those, like we talk about like the the changes in your kids, your kids growing up and becoming different people, doesn&#39;t happen in these big bangs. It happens in these little quiet moments. And that was for sure one where I was like, I just can call my son on the phone and chat about things. Gavin: 6:26 These big bang moments of uh like big growth uh reminds me of this morning, driving my kids to school because we were well, we choose to be late often on Fridays. So anyway, we were chatting. And our cat this morning brought in a mole um up to the doorstep because she loves us, apparently. So, of course, a cat&#39;s love language is killing rodents and bringing them to us. And so we had this whole discussion about, oh, she&#39;s so cute. It was funny. It was, oh, she&#39;s so cute that she&#39;s bringing us dead rodents. Oh, she&#39;s so cute. She&#39;s so and we realized their ages, and our cat is now we had a pandemic cat, so she&#39;s gonna be five soon. Our dog is three, and my daughter&#39;s saying, Oh, little babies just growing up. And I&#39;m like, Oh, you have no idea. And also, please do banned. In fact, you have to do banned. Let it go. So, speaking of not letting things go, oh, here we go. Everything is terrible, right? Um, as we know. But here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, I have nothing but good news to bring, okay? Oh, so two great things are coming out of Congress. I would also mention that it is not coming from people actually trying to stop Donald Trump in his dismantling of uh democracy. But anyway, anyway, keeping it positive, uh, there are two Congress people up in the Northeast, shout out to New England, uh, making change for good. U.S. Representative Becca Balint, who&#39;s from Vermont, has actually introduced a bill that is called the Transgender Health Care Access Act. And it establishes grants to support medical education programs and professional training in um transition-related care and to expand access to such services in rural communities. Now, listener, if you think that I just read that from a copy-paste from an article, I absolutely did, but I didn&#39;t want to get it. David: 8:16 I&#39;m looking at it in the outline right now. Gavin: 8:17 Didn&#39;t want to get it wrong. But like how fantastic that she&#39;s like, you know what? Let&#39;s stop the nonsense. And um She&#39;s trying to turn our kids trans. I get it. Yeah, yeah. David: 8:27 Right. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Gavin: 8:29 So shout out Representative Becca Balint. If you want to come on to Gatriarchs and talk to us about your act, uh, we would love to have you. And then also from neighboring state New Hampshire, there is not only, I knew that there were some gay representatives in the uh U.S. House of Representatives out there, but Chris Papas is an out-gay congressman from New Hampshire, and he is running for the U.S. Senate. So were he to win, um, so Senator Jean Shaheen is actually um, this is her last session, so she he will be running next year. And it&#39;s gonna be a full slate of people, probably, uh including the very popular governor Sununu, is also running. But nevertheless, hey, Chris Papas, come on to Gatriarchs and tell us about your Senate race. And I would say that that makes him, by default, whether or not he has kids, our doof of the week. So he&#39;s cute too. Look up pictures of him. David: 9:21 He&#39;s very cute. Yeah, he&#39;s the he looks like your college boyfriend that you dumped for like the bad guy, and then you regret dumping him. Gavin: 9:29 Because he&#39;s such a good guy. David: 9:31 He&#39;s he&#39;s the guy you want to have a long-term relationship with, but you dumped him because he was too nice. Yep. Do you know what I mean? Gavin: 9:38 And he had boring hair, probably. So, and let&#39;s he&#39;s got very senatorial hair, that&#39;s for sure. Uh, yeah. Anyway, uh, speaking of nothing. David: 9:48 I thought we were I I was literally in my head going, how do we get into the top three? With hair. Speaking of senatorial, um speaking of dumping your ex. Yeah. Gavin: 9:58 It&#39;s our top three list. Gate three marks. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 10:03 All right, this list is my list, and I painted myself into a fucking corner. This is a tough one. This was so tough because the so the top three lists this week is the top three women. Right? And I purposely chose that as to be really, I wanted it to be difficult. And you&#39;re so clever, and you&#39;re so fetishing. But then as soon as I sat down, I was like, are we talking about my mom? My, you know, these kind of people. Or then I&#39;m thinking, like, are these people who change the world? Are we talking about recurring? Are we talking about like and and I just, yeah, and I literally was like, I don&#39;t know what to fucking do. Just pick a category. Just pick a category. So I, my, my list, my top three list is the top three women who are top in their field. And and and there are a million other fields and a million other women. And I literally have a list of about 20 people long, yeah. Where I was looking at it and I was like, these are all women that I&#39;m obsessed with. I mean, Rashonda that we talked about a couple a couple weeks ago, a couple episodes ago. I was like, oh, oh yeah, she would be a great woman. So without further ado, here are my top three women. Okay. Number three, Michelle Obama. Totes. And I don&#39;t even know what category. She&#39;s not the top three politicians. Absolutely. She&#39;s not the top three woman politician. Mom. She&#39;s just, she&#39;s just, she&#39;s the top. Yeah. She&#39;s the top. She&#39;s the top. And she&#39;s probably the top in that relationship. Uh number two in my kind of singer-songwriter category, Dolly Parton. Oh, again, that&#39;s a gay, that&#39;s a very gay choice. That&#39;s a very gay coded choice. But she is top woman. Yeah. What an incredible woman. Not only, obviously, she&#39;s an incredible musician, but like the the good she does for the community with reading and all of that shit. And I don&#39;t necessarily totally agree with her stance in politics about like, I don&#39;t talk about politics, but I do appreciate that she did that in an effort to allow gay people to still follow her and be a be a fan of her. So number two, Dolly Parton. Um, and number one, again, I there are other great women, but the number one for me, because she&#39;s an actress, but more importantly, she is a comedian who whose work still makes me like gutturally belly laugh. And that is Carol Burnett. Oh, yeah. Carol Burnett, if you watch Annie, the movie, the original movie of Annie, her scenes are so fucking funny. Yeah. To this day, it doesn&#39;t look like old-timey funny. Yeah. It&#39;s like nowadays funny. She sings Little Girls in that movie. She&#39;s I watched it recently because my kids are obsessed with it. And she is walking around this apartment and there&#39;s like low-hanging lights that keep hitting her in the face. It is so fucking funny. So there you go. Number one, Carol Burnett. What about you? Gavin: 12:43 Okay, so I did curse you on this one for sure because um it was so open-ended, as you already made the disclaimer. So I&#39;m gonna go with what are the three names of women that came to mind first, or what what just immediately popped into mind? So I just went with my gut reaction, okay? This is not because I didn&#39;t do this three seconds before getting to it in the script. We&#39;re aware. Yeah. First and foremost, right now, woman in my world, AOC. She is so she&#39;s so brave. She speaks truth. Um, whether or not you agree with her, I do feel like that she is one of the most uh transparent and brave and logical people in our world right now. So AOC comes to mind. Number two, oh god, Madonna, just cuz. Just cuz I hear that. I realize I went one, two, three, which is your hugest uh nightmare with me. But you know what? These are all number one. Let me just rephrase that. These are all number ones for me. The number ones who just come to mind. Number one, I will say, my mom. So I&#39;ll just that&#39;s that&#39;s pretty fucked up. David: 13:51 Sorry, mom, that Gabin took the mom slot, and I don&#39;t I don&#39;t get to say mom, mom, my mom is number one. Gavin: 13:57 And then, but I also want to give a um uh honorable mention to Betsy and Amy, our listener, who pride themselves on being our listener. And I think that we do have lots of women listening to our podcast, absolutely. Yeah, because you don&#39;t know, you want to create a community and you don&#39;t know what&#39;s out there, but we&#39;re just following our instincts, and we are so proud to you&#39;re all gatriarchs out there. So um shout out to all the women who are listeners. David: 14:28 We we love our listener because we are obsessed with women and you know, going with your AOC, like one of the things I I I I I couldn&#39;t do that AOC does perfectly is people like the the right fucking hate. Hate her hate and the fact that she continues to do the things in the way she does, the transparency, all that stuff. It&#39;s why Hillary Clinton was on my list because I was like, that woman, people fucking hate Hillary Clinton, but she still fucking plugs on and fights and does her work and does for the good. And I just like I I am not mature enough to do that. If people come for me, I would spend all day being mean to clapping back. They don&#39;t. They&#39;re like, listen, I&#39;m not clapping back. I have a live to do to talk about the new policy...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, strange sounds are coming from David&apos;s house, Gavin won&apos;t let things go, America&apos;s finest news source is serving, we rank the top 3 women, and this week we are joined by gay dad Robbie Hammond who talks to us about how he came up with NYC&apos;s High Line project, why he&apos;s obsessed with bath houses, and why he&apos;s trying to convince gay men not to have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Um, let me just label those always quick. I&#39;m sorry. You took a big breath like you&#39;re about to start talking. And I totally interrupt. It&#39;s like when somebody interrupts a yawn and you&#39;re like, motherfucker. And this is gay trick. So, as you know, from last week&#39;s episode, um, my daughter has had a medical um situation in her bathing suit area. And so it has involved um antibiotic, like um for oral antibiotics and then also a cream for her nether regions. And I was just thinking about like the shit that comes out of your mouth as a parent that in the moment is so normal and real and actual, and there&#39;s nothing funny about it. But then you just pretend like you&#39;ve walked by the house and listen. This morning, my husband walked upstairs. And I uh I oh no, I&#39;m sorry, I was upstairs and my husband was downstairs, and I had written on our calendar a little star, which was to designate the end of putting this cream on her vagina. And I&#39;m upstairs and my husband yells, What does the asterisk mean on the calendar? And I&#39;m screaming from the other room, it&#39;s the last day of the vagina cream. And he goes, What? I said, Vagina cream. He said, What? It&#39;s the last day of Hannah&#39;s vagina cream. And so we&#39;re screaming at each other about her vagina cream. And I just kept thinking, if anybody&#39;s walking by this house and they hear two gay men yelling at each other from either floor, so today is the last day that I have to do this. Soward to that. Gavin: 1:56 Fantastic. And everything is cleared up and everything, and she&#39;s not in discomfort. Totally fine. And yes. That is something. Well, speaking of torturing our children or actually making their lives better, you&#39;re welcome very much. Um, I have no real updates on the saga of Gavin getting his soon-to-be high schooler back into music. She still hates music. She hates it. Of course. So I have now for I have now outlawed singing in our house. David: 2:23 I have outlawed singing. Reverend Shaw Moore is foot loose. You&#39;re like, oh. Gavin: 2:27 Listen, if you don&#39;t, if you hate music and you don&#39;t want to continue your music education, then I don&#39;t want to hear it around the house. I&#39;ve gone super DEF COM 6 negativity. Last night at dinner, listen, I&#39;ve, as you know, as from last week, and listener knows from last week that um I we&#39;ve tried to bribe. We&#39;re not getting a puppy to assuage, but we have tried to bribe with positivity. And last night, as I casually, I just sensed that maybe he we had crossed a corner turned a corner and that she was gonna be like, okay, I&#39;ll do it. Um, she was like, Oh, absolutely not. And I said, Okay, then I&#39;m taking away we you will have serious limits on your phone time, which that only turned into utter pushback, and that&#39;s not fair. No, you won&#39;t. Like, it wasn&#39;t it&#39;s like she&#39;s in pre-denial that I can be an asshole. And I&#39;m like, oh girl, oh girl, I am going to win this saga to rust me. And I&#39;m not alone. My partner feels the same way. So it&#39;s just that I&#39;m the one who choose these battles. David: 3:33 I thought you were gonna take a step back and let her come to you. Be like, you don&#39;t need to go and let her find the joy of music instead of lighting pianos on fire in your house. Gavin: 3:42 Yep. I the pianos are still on fire. They are will be smoldering until that I get]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, strange sounds are coming from David&apos;s house, Gavin won&apos;t let things go, America&apos;s finest news source is serving, we rank the top 3 women, and this week we are joined by gay dad Robbie Hammond who talks to us about how he came up with NYC&apos;s High Line project, why he&apos;s obsessed with bath houses, and why he&apos;s trying to convince gay men not to have kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Um, let me just label those always quick. I&#39;m sorry. You took a big breath like you&#39;re about to start talking. And I totally interrupt. It&#39;s like when somebody interrupts a yawn and you&#39;re like, motherfucker. And this is gay trick. So, as you know, from last week&#39;s episode, um, my daughter has had a medical um situation in her bathing suit area. And so it has involved um antibiotic, like um for oral antibiotics and then als]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with actors Gabrielle and Nathan Reid</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-actors-gabrielle-and-nathan-reid/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 02 Apr 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets awkward with the pediatrician, Gavin won&apos;t let the band go, David has to dress his child in culturally appropriate garb, we introduce our newest segment &#34;DILF of the week,&#34; we rank the top 3 funniest moments in the past 100 episodes of Gaytriarchs, and this week we are joined by actors and former strippers Gabrielle and Nathan Reid who talk to us about being in Broadway&apos;s most magical show, what it&apos;s like having a child with autism and being a NYC parent, and how their son fully came for Ryan Reynolds and got his respect.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Wow, I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re actually prepared for that. Gavin: 0:02 I made it up in the moment and on the spot. I fucking knew it. And this is Gatrier&#39;s. David: 0:25 So our family has been going to the doctor a lot lately. I had something scraped off my face. My husband had something scraped off his body. We had gets in and out of the doctor. It&#39;s just been a lot of dumb. And this is not just exfoliating, apparently. This is not just exfoliating. But I took my my daughter has been, how do I say this in a way? Oh my God. I can&#39;t wait. What is it? What is it? She has been complaining about pain in her bathing suit area. Okay. unknown: 0:52 Okay. David: 0:53 Except what she&#39;s been doing is in the middle of the grocery store, grabbing her crotch and screaming, my vagina hurts. Like as loud as she can. And then I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t know what to do. Gavin: 1:03 So anyway, we took her to the doctor. That is this is, by the way, not a laughing matter. I&#39;m glad to know that this is followed up by you took her to the doctor to figure it out. Yes, exactly. David: 1:13 We took her to the doctor, and the doctor was like, Oh, yeah, it&#39;s this and this and this and this. And then she goes, Well, actually, I think it might be strep. And I was reminded, if you remember from 50 episodes ago, my son got strep throat, but it&#39;s not strep throat. It&#39;s strep on your butthole. You can get strep, like streptococcus, whatever the thing is but it&#39;s on your butthole. Streptococcus. Thank you. That is exactly right. Streptococc ass. And I forgot that. And she was like, this is probably strep of her butt and vagina. Gavin: 1:50 Of her taint. Basically. I mean, sort of between. Because usually it&#39;s taint the balls, taint the balls. Yeah, right. David: 1:57 But taint the guys, this is if you&#39;re a first-time listener, welcome to the show. This is this is the this is Gatriarch&#39;s core. Um it&#39;s classy. But so I was a reminded, reminded if your kid has pain or a like because she doesn&#39;t wear diapers anymore, so I was like, it&#39;s not diaper rush. Why is it red or whatever? It was strep of the vagina. Gavin: 2:19 So that so she has to go on like amoxicillin or something. David: 2:24 Yeah, exactly. She&#39;s on like an oral antibiotic and then she has a cream for seven days. But like, and then oh wait, and then the doctor, oh my god, my I hope my daughter Nudver listens to this. Then then the doctor was like, well, and then once it&#39;s cleared up, she&#39;s like, after a bath, just take some like Vaseline and like rub it on the inside to give it a protectant. And of course, I have to ask, how far in? Like, I&#39;m looking deadass into this this doctor&#39;s face, and she could see I I&#39;m just I&#39;m struggling. And I I have to ask because I want to be a good dad. I was like, how far in? And I was like, the out, the in the inside of the outside, the the menorah, the majora. And it it was it was a very uncomfortable. Gavin: 3:02 But what was the answer? David: 3:03 The answer was like the the there&#39;s like the outside part, and then there&#39;s the they&#39;re like the inside, but like there&#39;s like the ring around I&#39;m feeling very uncomfortable right now on my own fucking podcast episode. Gavin: 3:15 But at the same time, no, I think it&#39;s important that these are important. David: 3:18 So it&#39;s like inside inside the front, but like not all not inside of her. You know what I mean? Like just like inside the outer lips, basically. Yes, right. It makes perfect sense. But that was the part that was read, and so uh, you know, whatever. It&#39;ll be fine. But it was just crazy. Gavin: 3:32 It&#39;s like uncomfortable questions we have to ask our doctors. Yeah, and so like the discomfort that you would feel in your throat from strep is probably analogous to what oh, that sounds awful. David: 3:42 It sounds awful, and of course, I&#39;m because she, you know, she cries about everything. I&#39;m like, yeah, move it to the back, sister. And she&#39;s like, no, no, no, I&#39;m actually still suffering from a medical conditioner, you piece of shit, dad. So anyway, that was my week. Gavin: 3:55 Speaking of piece of shit&#39;s dad&#39;s, I am still it. We are we&#39;re in week 178 of me trying to convince my daughter that she does needs to do music in high school. And there&#39;s nothing more to this except that it just keeps going on and on and on. And we are negotiating with a terrorist. I mean, I know that she thinks, I don&#39;t know what, that the cool kids don&#39;t do music, but let&#39;s be honest, we know that it&#39;s the cool kids who do the music. And um, but we have gone through stages of um, she doesn&#39;t negotiate with me because apparently I&#39;m an asshole, but um, she negotiates with my partner. And every single night that he goes in to say goodnight to her, because it tends to be me first, and then he goes in and she every single time it&#39;s so when am I getting my bunny? When am I getting my bunny? When am I getting my bunny? Right now it&#39;s a bunny. If she is downsizing to uh, I have to get a uh, I don&#39;t know, guinea pig or some bullshit like that. David: 4:42 Wait, kept catch me up. You&#39;ve promised an animal in if she takes a class. Gavin: 4:47 No, that&#39;s uh if she will sign up for a high school class of either choir or band. She gets an animal. No, I&#39;m not no, I&#39;m like, this is your success, your path to success in life is you just do this. And she has turned it into I get rewarded for putting my own self on a path to success in life. Now I did negotiate and I would said I would I because it is worth it to me to fly her across the country to see Gracie Abrams in concert somewhere. I want to do it at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado, where I um grew up going. And uh and I&#39;m like, yeah, it&#39;s kind of self-serving. I can see my friends. I haven&#39;t been to Colorado in a while. Anyway, nope, that wasn&#39;t good enough for her. That was not good enough for her. She wanted a puppy. And we&#39;re like, we&#39;re not. That&#39;s a whole nother level of anger. Right? We&#39;re not getting you a puppy for that. David: 5:38 Because if it&#39;s like a like if it&#39;s like a hamster, you can just kind of let it out of its cage if you&#39;re bored. You know what I mean? But like a dog, you can get in trouble for that. No. Gavin: 5:46 Not that I&#39;ve ever done that. David: 5:47 We don&#39;t condone that on catriarchs. We are very anti-murdering your pets uh for your own convenience. Gavin: 5:53 But we&#39;re like, no, you no, no, you&#39;re not. And it it is the the clock is ticking. Um, and Todd and I both feel very strongly that this is just this is a non-negotiable, except all we&#39;re doing is negotiating. And it goes on. And I don&#39;t know what the answer is gonna be. She really wanted to do a volleyball camp, a super expensive sleepaway volleyball camp this week. And I&#39;m like, okay, but you have to sign up for band. She&#39;s like, that&#39;s not worth it. Volleyball camp is four days. That&#39;s four years. David: 6:24 If she goes to volleyball camp, she&#39;s gonna have to learn some Melissa Etheridge music on her way back. So she must it&#39;s kind of killing her. Gavin: 6:30 Might as well be able to play it on the trumpet, too. Anyway, it goes on and on. Parents out there. Uh anybody who says that parenting isn&#39;t about negotiating, please let me know, listener, what am I doing wrong? Um, aside from the fact that I know the more I push, she is she is evolutionarily bred to push back on and hate me for everything I say right now. I get that. That&#39;s fine. And there are you choose your battles and you choose to not have battles. This is a I am will not be a good dad if I do not win this battle, I believe. Yeah. David: 7:02 I also I am still in awe right now that you said the word evolutionary without tripping up at all. And you were crisp. It was like you were a voice actor. I was I&#39;m actually very proud of you. That&#39;s amazing. Do you see how I I did slow down and you did you crisp? I absolutely slowed down. Um I just wanted to give a quick update to our listener. Um, if you remember, it was the last episode of the episode before where I was talking about like culture week or whatever at the daycare, where we had to bring in something that from our culture for a snack, and I fucking made up the well, we are like I am biologically Scottish, I am not culturally Scottish. Right. I do love Scotland. I&#39;m gonna marry our listener Liam from Inverness. But but I I I I I just was like, I guess this, even though my daughter is not biologically related to me. So anyway, so so I made Scottish shortbread cookies for the class, which half of which came back. Um so I was like, dodge that bullet. Well, bitch, did I not look at the calendar for Friday? Oh no, it&#39;s dress as your culture and bring something for show and tell from your culture. Gavin: 8:12 Please. And please, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please tell me, please tell me you will just dress her up as Florida white trash and give her a bottle of scotch, cheap scotch, and just let her be culturally Floridian, please. David: 8:31 Oh my god, and and and and and I brought and she brings in like a cease and desist letter or something as from her culture. Um, but no, I I I was just like, literally, what do I do? Because our I I think I&#39;ve said this before, our daycare, we&#39;re so lucky, is like naturally diverse. You have every sort of ethnicity, every culture, every language, every whatever. And this little white bitch just chaussets in there in her tartan plaid. And and so what we luckily did was when we went to Scotland, we brought back the kids like little stuffed animals, and one of them was a stuffed Loch Ness monster. So from her culture, she brought back a stuffed Loch Ness monster from Scotland, which she has no relation to whatsoever. Whatsoever. No. Wait, how did you dress her? In tartan? No, we just we just put we just absolutely put her in like jeans and a t-shirt, like nothing. Like we did. We we were like, we are aggressively not dressing for this. It feels very uncomfortably. Um so speaking of uncomfortable, this I don&#39;t even know why I&#39;m saying this. This has nothing to do with anything. But discomfort. On TikTok, there is a guy, um, and his account is called The Necessary Conversation. And if you&#39;ve seen it, you&#39;ve seen it. He&#39;s like kind of gingery, bold guy, young, probably like mid-30s. He&#39;s always in the West. Gavin: 9:49 He&#39;s in like the fields with mouth. David: 9:51 You might be thinking of something different, but he&#39;s in like a studio with a podcast mic, but he&#39;s interviewing his MAGA parents. And his MAGA parents are on their fucking gateway laptop, their Dell premium, whatever. With its like condescending, it&#39;s stock camera inside and no microphone. But like he&#39;s aggressively laying in a recliner looking away from him. But it is him, the this, this, the guy, the son, basically saying, So, dad, what do you think about blah? And all they do is talk about politics. And the parents are monsters, they are the poster child for these sick, poisoned boomers who are just like, Well, Biden had pedophiles in the pizza. Like they they are there, and this guy keeps trying. And every video, the comments are like, You&#39;ve got to stop talking to your parents. Your parents are terrible people. And it was really, really it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s really hard to watch, but this guy keeps trying. And then I saw a video, and this made me so sad, and it was basically saying, I this woman was like, I&#39;m a mom of two girls. I raised them in a liberal household in a liberal area, very progressive, whatever. And then my daughter, when she got older, married a MAGA, and now she&#39;s MAGA. And I was like, I have to worry about this. Yeah, I have to worry about my kids turning MAGA. Oh my god. Gavin: 11:16 There was an article recently that I read in, I don&#39;t know. Maybe it was some some pretentious liberal thing, of course, uh, full of uh lies and uh misinformation. I think it was either Vanity Fair or New York Times, but it&#39;s all about the trad wife tradition and that the trad wives are taking over, frankly, our spaces yoga, health food stores, and realizing that they&#39;re sometimes you wonder, are the kids gonna save us or are they not? Yeah, I I don&#39;t know. We think that the kids are all right and they&#39;re gonna fix it and they&#39;re gonna grow up. No, no, no, no, bitch. There were an awful lot of young people who voted for Trump this year last year. David: 11:52 If I have to admit this, like I kind of have a secret Shroud wife fantasy. Like just sitting around making butter all day and like sewing quilts and looking out at the end of the day. Gavin: 12:03 Yes, but listen, when when Doge destroys our entire economy and you have to do that without not by choice, let&#39;s go back and listen to this as if we could, because it&#39;s digital and there will be no digitality anyway. So that&#39;s true. David: 12:14 Well, this has been very unhelpful to our listener. Do you have something helpful for them? Please tell me. Gavin: 12:18 You know what? I have a dad hack of the week. My partner came up with it, and he said, So my children are now of the age that sometimes, oh rather, a lot of the time, we have to hide stuff in the kitchen from them so that they don&#39;t just, you know, an entire box of Samoas in five minutes. I am the one who eats the entire box of Samoas in in one night, right? So we hide stuff from them and for we bring them out for their lunch treats and whatnot. And he&#39;s like, Guess what? The the place where I know that they won&#39;t look for it is the vegetable drawer in the refrigerator. Hide all of your little Nutella bars or your little cookies that you need to, you know, ration behind the broccoli and the children will never find it. David: 13:01 That&#39;s so smart because we have a dad, we call it the dad basket, and it&#39;s all that&#39;s the top shelf of one of the high cabinets. Listen, my kids are five and three, so they can&#39;t they can&#39;t really do much, but that is so fucking smart because we for sure have like if there&#39;s some sort of candy or whatever that we want, we&#39;re like, no, bitch, you&#39;re not gonna put your grubby little cross on that. Gavin: 13:18 And eventually, I mean, if five-year-old to me says climbing up on the counter anyway to try to get to the dad basket. So anytime soon, rather than him falling backwards and cracking his head open on your you know, bamboo floors, you need to put it in the vegetable floor. The bamboo floors. Um, speaking of nothing, um, I have some news of the week. Um, which please be good, please be good, please be good, please. Please be good. Have you heard that some absurd legislator in Texas has passed or is has introduced a bill to stop furries from being able to pee and poop in uh litter box in schools? David: 13:54 Yes, right. I I I did see this because it it is as stupid as you can imagine. It is like one of those things where you spent all you spent your time writing this. This is not a thing that has literally ever happened. Gavin: 14:08 Well, since we...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets awkward with the pediatrician, Gavin won&apos;t let the band go, David has to dress his child in culturally appropriate garb, we introduce our newest segment &#34;DILF of the week,&#34; we rank the top 3 funniest moments in the past]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets awkward with the pediatrician, Gavin won&apos;t let the band go, David has to dress his child in culturally appropriate garb, we introduce our newest segment &#34;DILF of the week,&#34; we rank the top 3 funniest moments in the past 100 episodes of Gaytriarchs, and this week we are joined by actors and former strippers Gabrielle and Nathan Reid who talk to us about being in Broadway&apos;s most magical show, what it&apos;s like having a child with autism and being a NYC parent, and how their son fully came for Ryan Reynolds and got his respect.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Wow, I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re actually prepared for that. Gavin: 0:02 I made it up in the moment and on the spot. I fucking knew it. And this is Gatrier&#39;s. David: 0:25 So our family has been going to the doctor a lot lately. I had something scraped off my face. My husband had something scraped off his body. We had gets in and out of the doctor. It&#39;s just been a lot of dumb. And this is not just exfoliating, apparently. This is not just exfoliating. But I took my my daughter has been, how do I say this in a way? Oh my God. I can&#39;t wait. What is it? What is it? She has been complaining about pain in her bathing suit area. Okay. unknown: 0:52 Okay. David: 0:53 Except what she&#39;s been doing is in the middle of the grocery store, grabbing her crotch and screaming, my vagina hurts. Like as loud as she can. And then I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t know what to do. Gavin: 1:03 So anyway, we took her to the doctor. That is this is, by the way, not a laughing matter. I&#39;m glad to know that this is followed up by you took her to the doctor to figure it out. Yes, exactly. David: 1:13 We took her to the doctor, and the doctor was like, Oh, yeah, it&#39;s this and this and this and this. And then she goes, Well, actually, I think it might be strep. And I was reminded, if you remember from 50 episodes ago, my son got strep throat, but it&#39;s not strep throat. It&#39;s strep on your butthole. You can get strep, like streptococcus, whatever the thing is but it&#39;s on your butthole. Streptococcus. Thank you. That is exactly right. Streptococc ass. And I forgot that. And she was like, this is probably strep of her butt and vagina. Gavin: 1:50 Of her taint. Basically. I mean, sort of between. Because usually it&#39;s taint the balls, taint the balls. Yeah, right. David: 1:57 But taint the guys, this is if you&#39;re a first-time listener, welcome to the show. This is this is the this is Gatriarch&#39;s core. Um it&#39;s classy. But so I was a reminded, reminded if your kid has pain or a like because she doesn&#39;t wear diapers anymore, so I was like, it&#39;s not diaper rush. Why is it red or whatever? It was strep of the vagina. Gavin: 2:19 So that so she has to go on like amoxicillin or something. David: 2:24 Yeah, exactly. She&#39;s on like an oral antibiotic and then she has a cream for seven days. But like, and then oh wait, and then the doctor, oh my god, my I hope my daughter Nudver listens to this. Then then the doctor was like, well, and then once it&#39;s cleared up, she&#39;s like, after a bath, just take some like Vaseline and like rub it on the inside to give it a protectant. And of course, I have to ask, how far in? Like, I&#39;m looking deadass into this this doctor&#39;s face, and she could see I I&#39;m just I&#39;m struggling. And I I have to ask because I want to be a good dad. I was like, how far in? And I was like, the out, the in the inside of the outside, the the menorah, the majora. And it it was it was a very uncomfortable. Gavin: 3:02 But what was the answer? David: 3:03 The answer was like the the there&#39;s like the outside part, and then there&#39;s the they&#39;re like the inside, but like there&#39;s like the ring around I&#39;m feeling very uncomfortable right now on my own fucking podcast episode. Gavin: 3:15 But at the same time, no, I think it&#39;s important that these are important. David: 3:18 So it&#39;s like inside inside the front, but like not all not inside of her. You know what I mean? Like just like inside the outer lips, basically. Yes, right. It makes perfect sense. But that was the part that was read, and so uh, you know, whatever. It&#39;ll be fine. But it was just crazy. Gavin: 3:32 It&#39;s like uncomfortable questions we have to ask our doctors. Yeah, and so like the discomfort that you would feel in your throat from strep is probably analogous to what oh, that sounds awful. David: 3:42 It sounds awful, and of course, I&#39;m because she, you know, she cries about everything. I&#39;m like, yeah, move it to the back, sister. And she&#39;s like, no, no, no, I&#39;m actually still suffering from a medical conditioner, you piece of shit, dad. So anyway, that was my week. Gavin: 3:55 Speaking of piece of shit&#39;s dad&#39;s, I am still it. We are we&#39;re in week 178 of me trying to convince my daughter that she does needs to do music in high school. And there&#39;s nothing more to this except that it just keeps going on and on and on. And we are negotiating with a terrorist. I mean, I know that she thinks, I don&#39;t know what, that the cool kids don&#39;t do music, but let&#39;s be honest, we know that it&#39;s the cool kids who do the music. And um, but we have gone through stages of um, she doesn&#39;t negotiate with me because apparently I&#39;m an asshole, but um, she negotiates with my partner. And every single night that he goes in to say goodnight to her, because it tends to be me first, and then he goes in and she every single time it&#39;s so when am I getting my bunny? When am I getting my bunny? When am I getting my bunny? Right now it&#39;s a bunny. If she is downsizing to uh, I have to get a uh, I don&#39;t know, guinea pig or some bullshit like that. David: 4:42 Wait, kept catch me up. You&#39;ve promised an animal in if she takes a class. Gavin: 4:47 No, that&#39;s uh if she will sign up for a high school class of either choir or band. She gets an animal. No, I&#39;m not no, I&#39;m like, this is your success, your path to success in life is you just do this. And she has turned it into I get rewarded for putting my own self on a path to success in life. Now I did negotiate and I would said I would I because it is worth it to me to fly her across the country to see Gracie Abrams in concert somewhere. I want to do it at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado, where I um grew up going. And uh and I&#39;m like, yeah, it&#39;s kind of self-serving. I can see my friends. I haven&#39;t been to Colorado in a while. Anyway, nope, that wasn&#39;t good enough for her. That was not good enough for her. She wanted a puppy. And we&#39;re like, we&#39;re not. That&#39;s a whole nother level of anger. Right? We&#39;re not getting you a puppy for that. David: 5:38 Because if it&#39;s like a like if it&#39;s like a hamster, you can just kind of let it out of its cage if you&#39;re bored. You know what I mean? But like a dog, you can get in trouble for that. No. Gavin: 5:46 Not that I&#39;ve ever done that. David: 5:47 We don&#39;t condone that on catriarchs. We are very anti-murdering your pets uh for your own convenience. Gavin: 5:53 But we&#39;re like, no, you no, no, you&#39;re not. And it it is the the clock is ticking. Um, and Todd and I both feel very strongly that this is just this is a non-negotiable, except all we&#39;re doing is negotiating. And it goes on. And I don&#39;t know what the answer is gonna be. She really wanted to do a volleyball camp, a super expensive sleepaway volleyball camp this week. And I&#39;m like, okay, but you have to sign up for band. She&#39;s like, that&#39;s not worth it. Volleyball camp is four days. That&#39;s four years. David: 6:24 If she goes to volleyball camp, she&#39;s gonna have to learn some Melissa Etheridge music on her way back. So she must it&#39;s kind of killing her. Gavin: 6:30 Might as well be able to play it on the trumpet, too. Anyway, it goes on and on. Parents out there. Uh anybody who says that parenting isn&#39;t about negotiating, please let me know, listener, what am I doing wrong? Um, aside from the fact that I know the more I push, she is she is evolutionarily bred to push back on and hate me for everything I say right now. I get that. That&#39;s fine. And there are you choose your battles and you choose to not have battles. This is a I am will not be a good dad if I do not win this battle, I believe. Yeah. David: 7:02 I also I am still in awe right now that you said the word evolutionary without tripping up at all. And you were crisp. It was like you were a voice actor. I was I&#39;m actually very proud of you. That&#39;s amazing. Do you see how I I did slow down and you did you crisp? I absolutely slowed down. Um I just wanted to give a quick update to our listener. Um, if you remember, it was the last episode of the episode before where I was talking about like culture week or whatever at the daycare, where we had to bring in something that from our culture for a snack, and I fucking made up the well, we are like I am biologically Scottish, I am not culturally Scottish. Right. I do love Scotland. I&#39;m gonna marry our listener Liam from Inverness. But but I I I I I just was like, I guess this, even though my daughter is not biologically related to me. So anyway, so so I made Scottish shortbread cookies for the class, which half of which came back. Um so I was like, dodge that bullet. Well, bitch, did I not look at the calendar for Friday? Oh no, it&#39;s dress as your culture and bring something for show and tell from your culture. Gavin: 8:12 Please. And please, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please tell me, please tell me you will just dress her up as Florida white trash and give her a bottle of scotch, cheap scotch, and just let her be culturally Floridian, please. David: 8:31 Oh my god, and and and and and I brought and she brings in like a cease and desist letter or something as from her culture. Um, but no, I I I was just like, literally, what do I do? Because our I I think I&#39;ve said this before, our daycare, we&#39;re so lucky, is like naturally diverse. You have every sort of ethnicity, every culture, every language, every whatever. And this little white bitch just chaussets in there in her tartan plaid. And and so what we luckily did was when we went to Scotland, we brought back the kids like little stuffed animals, and one of them was a stuffed Loch Ness monster. So from her culture, she brought back a stuffed Loch Ness monster from Scotland, which she has no relation to whatsoever. Whatsoever. No. Wait, how did you dress her? In tartan? No, we just we just put we just absolutely put her in like jeans and a t-shirt, like nothing. Like we did. We we were like, we are aggressively not dressing for this. It feels very uncomfortably. Um so speaking of uncomfortable, this I don&#39;t even know why I&#39;m saying this. This has nothing to do with anything. But discomfort. On TikTok, there is a guy, um, and his account is called The Necessary Conversation. And if you&#39;ve seen it, you&#39;ve seen it. He&#39;s like kind of gingery, bold guy, young, probably like mid-30s. He&#39;s always in the West. Gavin: 9:49 He&#39;s in like the fields with mouth. David: 9:51 You might be thinking of something different, but he&#39;s in like a studio with a podcast mic, but he&#39;s interviewing his MAGA parents. And his MAGA parents are on their fucking gateway laptop, their Dell premium, whatever. With its like condescending, it&#39;s stock camera inside and no microphone. But like he&#39;s aggressively laying in a recliner looking away from him. But it is him, the this, this, the guy, the son, basically saying, So, dad, what do you think about blah? And all they do is talk about politics. And the parents are monsters, they are the poster child for these sick, poisoned boomers who are just like, Well, Biden had pedophiles in the pizza. Like they they are there, and this guy keeps trying. And every video, the comments are like, You&#39;ve got to stop talking to your parents. Your parents are terrible people. And it was really, really it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s really hard to watch, but this guy keeps trying. And then I saw a video, and this made me so sad, and it was basically saying, I this woman was like, I&#39;m a mom of two girls. I raised them in a liberal household in a liberal area, very progressive, whatever. And then my daughter, when she got older, married a MAGA, and now she&#39;s MAGA. And I was like, I have to worry about this. Yeah, I have to worry about my kids turning MAGA. Oh my god. Gavin: 11:16 There was an article recently that I read in, I don&#39;t know. Maybe it was some some pretentious liberal thing, of course, uh, full of uh lies and uh misinformation. I think it was either Vanity Fair or New York Times, but it&#39;s all about the trad wife tradition and that the trad wives are taking over, frankly, our spaces yoga, health food stores, and realizing that they&#39;re sometimes you wonder, are the kids gonna save us or are they not? Yeah, I I don&#39;t know. We think that the kids are all right and they&#39;re gonna fix it and they&#39;re gonna grow up. No, no, no, no, bitch. There were an awful lot of young people who voted for Trump this year last year. David: 11:52 If I have to admit this, like I kind of have a secret Shroud wife fantasy. Like just sitting around making butter all day and like sewing quilts and looking out at the end of the day. Gavin: 12:03 Yes, but listen, when when Doge destroys our entire economy and you have to do that without not by choice, let&#39;s go back and listen to this as if we could, because it&#39;s digital and there will be no digitality anyway. So that&#39;s true. David: 12:14 Well, this has been very unhelpful to our listener. Do you have something helpful for them? Please tell me. Gavin: 12:18 You know what? I have a dad hack of the week. My partner came up with it, and he said, So my children are now of the age that sometimes, oh rather, a lot of the time, we have to hide stuff in the kitchen from them so that they don&#39;t just, you know, an entire box of Samoas in five minutes. I am the one who eats the entire box of Samoas in in one night, right? So we hide stuff from them and for we bring them out for their lunch treats and whatnot. And he&#39;s like, Guess what? The the place where I know that they won&#39;t look for it is the vegetable drawer in the refrigerator. Hide all of your little Nutella bars or your little cookies that you need to, you know, ration behind the broccoli and the children will never find it. David: 13:01 That&#39;s so smart because we have a dad, we call it the dad basket, and it&#39;s all that&#39;s the top shelf of one of the high cabinets. Listen, my kids are five and three, so they can&#39;t they can&#39;t really do much, but that is so fucking smart because we for sure have like if there&#39;s some sort of candy or whatever that we want, we&#39;re like, no, bitch, you&#39;re not gonna put your grubby little cross on that. Gavin: 13:18 And eventually, I mean, if five-year-old to me says climbing up on the counter anyway to try to get to the dad basket. So anytime soon, rather than him falling backwards and cracking his head open on your you know, bamboo floors, you need to put it in the vegetable floor. The bamboo floors. Um, speaking of nothing, um, I have some news of the week. Um, which please be good, please be good, please be good, please. Please be good. Have you heard that some absurd legislator in Texas has passed or is has introduced a bill to stop furries from being able to pee and poop in uh litter box in schools? David: 13:54 Yes, right. I I I did see this because it it is as stupid as you can imagine. It is like one of those things where you spent all you spent your time writing this. This is not a thing that has literally ever happened. Gavin: 14:08 Well, since we...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets awkward with the pediatrician, Gavin won&apos;t let the band go, David has to dress his child in culturally appropriate garb, we introduce our newest segment &#34;DILF of the week,&#34; we rank the top 3 funniest moments in the past 100 episodes of Gaytriarchs, and this week we are joined by actors and former strippers Gabrielle and Nathan Reid who talk to us about being in Broadway&apos;s most magical show, what it&apos;s like having a child with autism and being a NYC parent, and how their son fully came for Ryan Reynolds and got his respect.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Wow, I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re actually prepared for that. Gavin: 0:02 I made it up in the moment and on the spot. I fucking knew it. And this is Gatrier&#39;s. David: 0:25 So our family has been going to the doctor a lot lately. I had something scraped off my face. My husband had something scraped off his body. We had gets in and out of the doctor. It&#39;s just been a lot of dumb. And this is not just exfoliating, apparently. This is not just exfoliating. But I took my my daughter has been, how do I say this in a way? Oh my God. I can&#39;t wait. What is it? What is it? She has been complaining about pain in her bathing suit area. Okay. unknown: 0:52 Okay. David: 0:53 Except what she&#39;s been doing is in the middle of the grocery store, grabbing her crotch and screaming, my vagina hurts. Like as loud as she can. And then I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t know what to do. Gavin: 1:03 So anyway, we took her to the doctor. That is this is, by the way, not a laughing matter. I&#39;m glad to know that this is followed up by you took her to the doctor to figure it out. Yes, exactly. David: 1:13 We took her to the doctor, and the doctor was like, Oh, yeah, it&#39;s this and this and this and this. And then she goes, Well, actually, I think it might be strep. And I was reminded, if you remember from 50 episodes ago, my son got strep throat, but it&#39;s not strep throat. It&#39;s strep on your butthole. You can get strep, like streptococcus, whatever the thing is but it&#39;s on your butthole. Streptococcus. Thank you. That is exactly right. Streptococc ass. And I forgot that. And she was like, this is probably strep of her butt and vagina. Gavin: 1:50 Of her taint. Basically. I mean, sort of between. Because usually it&#39;s taint the balls, taint the balls. Yeah, right. David: 1:57 But taint the guys, this is if you&#39;re a first-time listener, welcome to the show. This is this is the this is Gatriarch&#39;s core. Um it&#39;s classy. But so I was a reminded, reminded if your kid has pain or a like because she doesn&#39;t wear diapers anymore, so I was like, it&#39;s not diaper rush. Why is it red or whatever? It was strep of the vagina. Gavin: 2:19 So that so she has to go on like amoxicillin or something. David: 2:24 Yeah, exactly. She&#39;s on like an oral antibiotic and then she has a cream for seven days. But like, and then oh wait, and then the doctor, oh my god, my I hope my daughter Nudver listens to this. Then then the doctor was like, well, and then once it&#39;s cleared up, she&#39;s like, after a bath, just take some like Vaseline and like rub it on the inside to give it a protectant. And of course, I have to ask, how far in? Like, I&#39;m looking deadass into this this doctor&#39;s face, and she could see I I&#39;m just I&#39;m struggling. And I I have to ask because I want to be a good dad. I was like, how far in? And I was like, the out, the in the inside of the outside, the the menorah, the majora. And it it was it was a very uncomfortable. Gavin: 3:02 But what was the answer? David: 3:03 The answer was like the the there&#39;s like the outside part, and then there&#39;s the they&#39;re like the inside, but like there&#39;s like the ring around I&#39;m feeling very uncomfortable right ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets awkward with the pediatrician, Gavin won&apos;t let the band go, David has to dress his child in culturally appropriate garb, we introduce our newest segment &#34;DILF of the week,&#34; we rank the top 3 funniest moments in the past 100 episodes of Gaytriarchs, and this week we are joined by actors and former strippers Gabrielle and Nathan Reid who talk to us about being in Broadway&apos;s most magical show, what it&apos;s like having a child with autism and being a NYC parent, and how their son fully came for Ryan Reynolds and got his respect.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Wow, I can&#39;t believe you&#39;re actually prepared for that. Gavin: 0:02 I made it up in the moment and on the spot. I fucking knew it. And this is Gatrier&#39;s. David: 0:25 So our family has been going to the doctor a lot lately. I had something scraped off my fa]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The Centennial episode with David F.M. Vaughn &#038; Gavin Lodge</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-centennial-episode-with-david-f-m-vaughn-gavin-lodge/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Mar 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Listener, we did it. 100 episodes today. And while we always aim low, somehow, we did 100 of them. So this week, we turn the tables, and we interview each other. From Gavin&apos;s route from politics to Broadway, and David&apos;s gambling addiction, come meet the hosts and get to know them better than ever.  Thank you, listener, for sticking with us. We hope to bring you the same mediocre content for the next 100.   Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 David, it&#39;s it it&#39;s our hundredth episode, and we have to do something special. Didn&#39;t you just say we should open the episode with singing happy birthday? SPEAKER_00: 0:10 Happy birthday to me Happy birth I&#39;m a hundred years old. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Gatriarchs. Happy birthday to me. David: 0:28 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:44 David, it&#39;s our hundredth episode. Have you planned lots of special stuff for us? Did you torture your children to get better stories out of them? David: 0:51 You and I have talked about this episode, and every time we talked about this episode, we go, we gotta do something great. We gotta do something great. We gotta plan. We&#39;re gonna have all kinds of cool things. And what do we do, Gabe? We punted. We punted. Gavin: 1:04 For listener, uh, you might think that we are living the high life of this is all we do, um, and we have the time to plan for it. And you can tell by our anemic social media that all we do is think about Gatrich all the time. The fact is, I started thinking about gatriarchs 11 minutes ago today. So and it&#39;s our hundredth episode. David: 1:23 Well, I am very proud of us. I think I am too a hundred episodes. Yeah, anything made is nearly impossible. Yeah, and for some reason, our listener has stuck with us, and that is that is crazy. Um speaking of listener, I have some two listener reach out um this past week. Gavin: 1:42 Um so do you think listener just uses a pseudonym sometimes and um it&#39;s another email account? David: 1:47 That&#39;s true. So one is um our listener, Sam, who is the host of the Baby Ready Podcast, who we love. Um and she is going to be my future wife because she um lives in Canada. Uh-huh. Right. She is she&#39;s married to her wife. However, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, but things are going so great here in the States. So we&#39;re thinking about divorcing our significant others and marrying each other because we love each other. But that being said, she wrote in to say uh when we were talking about me and my husband and my daughter going with my son to drop off, and you&#39;re like, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a new parent thing, that&#39;s a kindergarten thing. Oh, that that stuff will go away. Right. She has older kids, and she says her and her wife still show up to things together. Gavin: 2:31 Well, yeah, I mean, show up to things together, yes, but not every single day. She does drop-offs together. David: 2:38 Oh, great. Yeah. So anyway, thank you, listeners. Yeah, she is better than you. And also, um, our other listener, our or the same listener with a different email address and a different name and a different everything. Uh, Liam, hi Liam, he&#39;s one of our favorite listeners. Um, he reached out to remind me because I was talking about how much I love Scotland and how I want to move there someday. And my favorite town in Scotland is Inverness. He reached out to remind me he is from Inverness. Oh, yes. And so, with Sam, like with Sam, I will be divorcing my husband and marrying Liam, so I can now have a green card marriage to go to Inverness, Scotland, and live out our fantasy. So I have a lot of divorce in my future and a lot of marriage and a lot of divorce. Gavin: 3:24 Seems like another podcast to fraud, honestly. David: 3:27 A lot of fraud for those of you listening out there. Anyway, thank you, listener, for reaching out to us. I always love to hear from you, especially when it&#39;s taking my side of things. I always love that. Gavin: 3:37 Relatable, totally relatable. And in this situation, I say go with God or go with Cher or you know, whatever. That you do what you need to do, and uh Brian is fantastic, and we&#39;ll figure it out here without you somehow. Um, hi Brian. So, David, this morning, just before my alarm went off, um, I had a crazy ass dream. And my partner actually said to me, You were whimpering in your sleep. What was going on? Like a puppy. I just yes, I just have to share this crazy ass dream where my son, not anybody else, my son and I were on a flight. We had to change flights between uh change planes between flights, flights, but somehow we had to be on a wooden ship to get between the flights. Totally. The wooden ship, we were on top, we were on the deck, but nobody else was, and there was a storm, and suddenly we were in Antarctica and rocky, whatever. It was like a pirate ship in a storm, as if nobody was at the helm. Immediately we hit a rock, sinks. Me and my son are there in the freezing ass water. I can see rescue boats coming, because apparently we&#39;re at, I don&#39;t know, just off of JFK. So it&#39;s just weird that we had to take a boat between terminals. Yeah. My kid disappears. And I tell the panic. I mean, in my dream, I can viscerally feel the panic. That was a reminder of not that I questioned my love for my son, but this was a oh, I would it it was it was real. It was real, right? He pops back up in the dream onto the surface of the water as I&#39;m screaming to the emergency people, find my son, find my son, find my son. I mean, I it was, you know, the it was a it was a frenzy. He pops up completely naked in this freezing water, and I&#39;m like, what were you doing? And he said, I learned from scouts that you&#39;re supposed to take your clothes off so that you don&#39;t get dropped, pulled down by the water. And I just I woke up thinking, was that a lesson? That is that a scout thing? David: 5:30 But no, that&#39;s I think that&#39;s also for like if you fall into like a freezing lake and they pull you out, they take your clothes off because it&#39;s when they pull you out. Gavin: 5:37 Yeah, yes, when you to pull you out, you need to take cold, wet clothes off of you. But nevertheless, he gave me a heart attack in my dream because he disappeared to seemingly underwater, take his clothes off. David: 5:48 Well, why did that&#39;s why you shouldn&#39;t have booked with Spirit? Because Spirit Airlines makes you take a wooden ship between terminals. Gavin: 5:56 This episode brought to you by Delta Airlines. At least we&#39;re not Spirit. Actually, no, that was Alaska Airlines. Uh anyway, thanks for indulging that. It was it was a crazy ass dream. I&#39;m gonna ask you about crazy ass dreams with your kids later. David: 6:10 Yeah, that is crazy. And it reminds me of something that happened. Um, I&#39;ve been traveling a lot lately for work. Um and I just went to Columbia last weekend, which was so fun. I&#39;ve never been to South America. Tell us. It was so funny. Oh god, I tell first of all, I I I want to tell you all the details, but they&#39;re not really boring, and I don&#39;t want to bore our listener on our hundredth a show, but I will tell our listener, and this is like porn for older people. I had the entire exit row to myself on a five and a half hour flight without my children. For those of you who just got an immediate reaction erection, you&#39;re welcome. But I was thinking about something that I&#39;ve seen a lot lately, and I uh wanted to bring it up to you. Is have you seen parents who have babies, maybe like a really fussy toddler on a plane, and they make these parent packs, these bags, these plastic bags of like, I don&#39;t know, fucking treats and stuff. And it has like a little paper on the inside that says, you know, sorry, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s our first flight, so we may get a little fussy. We appreciate your patience or whatever, and they like pass them out to the people around them. I&#39;ve only ever seen it on social media. I&#39;ve certainly never experienced it. I I want to get your take on this because my take is fuck off. Yeah, you&#39;re on a bus in the sky if my baby is crying. Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s you should have bought a uh you should fly uh private. Yeah. Like, like I get like what they&#39;re trying to do, they&#39;re trying to alleviate some of like the stress from them, maybe like, oh go ahead or whatever. Sure, but that is not fucking necessary. Gavin: 7:46 I mean, anybody who has had a child knows what it&#39;s like to be on a plane with a kid. Don&#39;t we all kind of just tune it out? I feel like I could sit next to a screaming baby on a plane and they&#39;d be like, whatever, it&#39;s not my kid. David: 7:58 I do because we all have headphones or we&#39;re all watching Master Chef or whatever on the TV. Gavin: 8:03 I think what you&#39;re describing is so one, it&#39;s meant to just be social media, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s so presentational and performative as to be frankly narcissistic and making everybody else&#39;s flight about me so that I have good social media content. So I just find it really disingenuous. I mean, if your kid screams for three hours, we can all deal with it. If it&#39;s an overnight flight to Europe, you might want to like buy everybody a drink, although it&#39;s an international flight. So I don&#39;t know. David: 8:34 I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s disingenuous, but I do think it is done so you as the parent feel less guilty about your child doing whatever. But I feel like if you&#39;re already doing that, you&#39;re already probably doing all the right things to try like pat your baby, give them interesting things. But at some point, as we know, kids are just gonna be assholes. There can be assholes in the sky, they can be assholes on a ship just outside of JFK. I mean, it it is so anyway. I just I was thinking about that while I was on my flight, and I was like, you know, I want to make sure that us parents don&#39;t feel like on top of all the other things we have to do when we&#39;re flying with our kids that we&#39;re not, yeah. Gavin: 9:12 It is so stressful to get on a plane. You&#39;re stressed, and then just the packing and the this and the that. Give yourself a break and don&#39;t go to that effort because you just need to please the people around you. It&#39;s uh it&#39;s it&#39;s too much. Too much. Um so this weekend we had um I I I posed this to the listener and the entire intrawebs universe out there. Why aren&#39;t my kids&#39; phone limits working? Something happened, and I invite everybody to tell me what is going on. Yes, I&#39;ve changed my password. Yes, I&#39;ve changed the settings. Yes, I&#39;ve done this, that, and the other. But you, David, because you&#39;re such a neophyte so far and you don&#39;t have um kids with phones. What&#39;s a new one? You don&#39;t realize a newbie that um there are settings that you can do in your family circle on iPhone to be able to monitor how much time your kid spends on um whatever app, right? And you&#39;re supposed to be able to set um uh set the time limits for how much time they spend on iPhone. David: 10:08 Yeah, because I feel like your daughter often asks for more time on her TikTok. Gavin: 10:12 Well, guess what? It&#39;s been four months since she asked for any more time. And I and it&#39;s not like I just woke up yesterday and realized something&#39;s wrong. I woke up four months ago and I&#39;m like, what something is wrong? She&#39;s not asking for more time. I&#39;ve been down Reddit rabbit holes. I am trying to do the research, and frankly, the come away, come uh the takeaway from it is just Apple doesn&#39;t care. They want you to be on the app. They&#39;re they don&#39;t care. You&#39;re not a priority, right? So anyway, this weekend we tried something new, which was I&#39;m like, okay, you realize you have to have limits. She&#39;s like, Yep. Um, so when you&#39;ve hit your limit and I think about it, I we&#39;re just gonna take your phone away, okay? Oh my god. Well, let me Oh, I thought that went well. Let me tell you the ways that did not go well, especially when I did it. Oh no. We&#39;ve made it 13 years until the moment that my daughter got a suitcase out and packed to leave. And it was on a Sunday night at 9:30 p.m., by the way. She was moving out. I&#39;m like, okay. But that I admit, that was sort of the end where I was like, oh, really? You&#39;re gonna leave now? And I started to laugh. And admittedly, she started to laugh too. And then she just she kind of gave up there. But just before that, she said, Can I have your phone? And I&#39;m like, no, you can&#39;t. Can I have your phone? You took mine. Well, what are you gonna do with my phone? I&#39;m gonna call Child Protective Services and David, I handed that phone over so fast. Call them. Call them. Do you want me to call 911 for you and hand the phone over because you have not been allowed to listen to Spotify during your shower? Which I admit, I&#39;m saying this out loud at how absurd that is, but the night had progressed to such levels of absurd. David: 12:01 I just I wish I could hear a recording of like CPS. What like what can I report? And they&#39;re like, oh my god, my dad&#39;s like abusing me. Like, well, what is he doing? I can&#39;t listen to Spotify in the shower. I can&#39;t listen to Gate my my most recent episode of Gate Sharks, which is my favorite podcast. And I have emailed them and I have rated them, I&#39;ve given them five stars. Yeah. Gavin: 12:20 Oh, listen, I have no uh dad hacks of the week for you, and there is no good news in the in the world. None. There&#39;s just all let&#39;s just all bury our heads in the sand this week. So I&#39;m gonna start a new um, a new trend here on uh it this is a new service we&#39;re gonna provide, which is daddy zaddy crushes. Okay, we should have a Gatriarch&#39;s new crush of the week once in a while, okay? Okay, and I want you to know, somewhat news related, our new daddy hack, or excuse me, our new daddy crush, we can definitely package this better. I&#39;ll leave it to Brian, your husband, to figure out how to market this better. Our new daddy, hunky crush of Gatriarchs is Governor Andy Bashir. Yeah. Do you know who Andy Bashir is? David: 13:06 I do. And and I and sometimes you and I uh aren&#39;t the on the same page about this because some of your daddies are like great grandfat daddies. Um but I will say Andy is in that perfect sweet spot. He&#39;s 47, he&#39;s a he looks good in a suit, he&#39;s got a very conservative haircut, but you know he has big balls. SPEAKER_03: 13:25 Do you know what I mean? David: 13:27 Like, yeah. Gavin: 13:28 Well, speaking of, in a super, super red state with a super red majority, he has recently made a statement that we&#39;re not going to hate on kids under the entire queer umbrella because here in Kentucky, we are good Americans who believe in the value of human rights and human expression, and we&#39;re not gonna shit on kids who are just trying to find their way in the world. And that goes for kids on the entire spectrum of gender and sexual identity. And it ain&#39;t just because of that that Andy Bashir is definitely our zaddy crush of the week, but that is um right, that informs it greatly. Crush of the week. David: 14:09 I like that. I like like the daddy crush of the week. Um, and we love fried chicken, so go for it, Kentucky. And bourbon. Yeah, I mean, I love that. Um, really quick before we move on, I was just thinking about stupid how like daycare and schools and stuff and how they deal with lunches and stuff. We will pack, I pack my kids lunches every day, and then I also will give them snacks. And sometimes I&#39;ll give them, you know, and and then usually daycare will return like the Tupperware, but then whatever they don&#39;t eat, they throw out...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Listener, we did it. 100 episodes today. And while we always aim low, somehow, we did 100 of them. So this week, we turn the tables, and we interview each other. From Gavin&apos;s route from politics to Broadway, and David&apos;s gambling addiction, come]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Listener, we did it. 100 episodes today. And while we always aim low, somehow, we did 100 of them. So this week, we turn the tables, and we interview each other. From Gavin&apos;s route from politics to Broadway, and David&apos;s gambling addiction, come meet the hosts and get to know them better than ever.  Thank you, listener, for sticking with us. We hope to bring you the same mediocre content for the next 100.   Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 David, it&#39;s it it&#39;s our hundredth episode, and we have to do something special. Didn&#39;t you just say we should open the episode with singing happy birthday? SPEAKER_00: 0:10 Happy birthday to me Happy birth I&#39;m a hundred years old. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Gatriarchs. Happy birthday to me. David: 0:28 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:44 David, it&#39;s our hundredth episode. Have you planned lots of special stuff for us? Did you torture your children to get better stories out of them? David: 0:51 You and I have talked about this episode, and every time we talked about this episode, we go, we gotta do something great. We gotta do something great. We gotta plan. We&#39;re gonna have all kinds of cool things. And what do we do, Gabe? We punted. We punted. Gavin: 1:04 For listener, uh, you might think that we are living the high life of this is all we do, um, and we have the time to plan for it. And you can tell by our anemic social media that all we do is think about Gatrich all the time. The fact is, I started thinking about gatriarchs 11 minutes ago today. So and it&#39;s our hundredth episode. David: 1:23 Well, I am very proud of us. I think I am too a hundred episodes. Yeah, anything made is nearly impossible. Yeah, and for some reason, our listener has stuck with us, and that is that is crazy. Um speaking of listener, I have some two listener reach out um this past week. Gavin: 1:42 Um so do you think listener just uses a pseudonym sometimes and um it&#39;s another email account? David: 1:47 That&#39;s true. So one is um our listener, Sam, who is the host of the Baby Ready Podcast, who we love. Um and she is going to be my future wife because she um lives in Canada. Uh-huh. Right. She is she&#39;s married to her wife. However, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, but things are going so great here in the States. So we&#39;re thinking about divorcing our significant others and marrying each other because we love each other. But that being said, she wrote in to say uh when we were talking about me and my husband and my daughter going with my son to drop off, and you&#39;re like, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a new parent thing, that&#39;s a kindergarten thing. Oh, that that stuff will go away. Right. She has older kids, and she says her and her wife still show up to things together. Gavin: 2:31 Well, yeah, I mean, show up to things together, yes, but not every single day. She does drop-offs together. David: 2:38 Oh, great. Yeah. So anyway, thank you, listeners. Yeah, she is better than you. And also, um, our other listener, our or the same listener with a different email address and a different name and a different everything. Uh, Liam, hi Liam, he&#39;s one of our favorite listeners. Um, he reached out to remind me because I was talking about how much I love Scotland and how I want to move there someday. And my favorite town in Scotland is Inverness. He reached out to remind me he is from Inverness. Oh, yes. And so, with Sam, like with Sam, I will be divorcing my husband and marrying Liam, so I can now have a green card marriage to go to Inverness, Scotland, and live out our fantasy. So I have a lot of divorce in my future and a lot of marriage and a lot of divorce. Gavin: 3:24 Seems like another podcast to fraud, honestly. David: 3:27 A lot of fraud for those of you listening out there. Anyway, thank you, listener, for reaching out to us. I always love to hear from you, especially when it&#39;s taking my side of things. I always love that. Gavin: 3:37 Relatable, totally relatable. And in this situation, I say go with God or go with Cher or you know, whatever. That you do what you need to do, and uh Brian is fantastic, and we&#39;ll figure it out here without you somehow. Um, hi Brian. So, David, this morning, just before my alarm went off, um, I had a crazy ass dream. And my partner actually said to me, You were whimpering in your sleep. What was going on? Like a puppy. I just yes, I just have to share this crazy ass dream where my son, not anybody else, my son and I were on a flight. We had to change flights between uh change planes between flights, flights, but somehow we had to be on a wooden ship to get between the flights. Totally. The wooden ship, we were on top, we were on the deck, but nobody else was, and there was a storm, and suddenly we were in Antarctica and rocky, whatever. It was like a pirate ship in a storm, as if nobody was at the helm. Immediately we hit a rock, sinks. Me and my son are there in the freezing ass water. I can see rescue boats coming, because apparently we&#39;re at, I don&#39;t know, just off of JFK. So it&#39;s just weird that we had to take a boat between terminals. Yeah. My kid disappears. And I tell the panic. I mean, in my dream, I can viscerally feel the panic. That was a reminder of not that I questioned my love for my son, but this was a oh, I would it it was it was real. It was real, right? He pops back up in the dream onto the surface of the water as I&#39;m screaming to the emergency people, find my son, find my son, find my son. I mean, I it was, you know, the it was a it was a frenzy. He pops up completely naked in this freezing water, and I&#39;m like, what were you doing? And he said, I learned from scouts that you&#39;re supposed to take your clothes off so that you don&#39;t get dropped, pulled down by the water. And I just I woke up thinking, was that a lesson? That is that a scout thing? David: 5:30 But no, that&#39;s I think that&#39;s also for like if you fall into like a freezing lake and they pull you out, they take your clothes off because it&#39;s when they pull you out. Gavin: 5:37 Yeah, yes, when you to pull you out, you need to take cold, wet clothes off of you. But nevertheless, he gave me a heart attack in my dream because he disappeared to seemingly underwater, take his clothes off. David: 5:48 Well, why did that&#39;s why you shouldn&#39;t have booked with Spirit? Because Spirit Airlines makes you take a wooden ship between terminals. Gavin: 5:56 This episode brought to you by Delta Airlines. At least we&#39;re not Spirit. Actually, no, that was Alaska Airlines. Uh anyway, thanks for indulging that. It was it was a crazy ass dream. I&#39;m gonna ask you about crazy ass dreams with your kids later. David: 6:10 Yeah, that is crazy. And it reminds me of something that happened. Um, I&#39;ve been traveling a lot lately for work. Um and I just went to Columbia last weekend, which was so fun. I&#39;ve never been to South America. Tell us. It was so funny. Oh god, I tell first of all, I I I want to tell you all the details, but they&#39;re not really boring, and I don&#39;t want to bore our listener on our hundredth a show, but I will tell our listener, and this is like porn for older people. I had the entire exit row to myself on a five and a half hour flight without my children. For those of you who just got an immediate reaction erection, you&#39;re welcome. But I was thinking about something that I&#39;ve seen a lot lately, and I uh wanted to bring it up to you. Is have you seen parents who have babies, maybe like a really fussy toddler on a plane, and they make these parent packs, these bags, these plastic bags of like, I don&#39;t know, fucking treats and stuff. And it has like a little paper on the inside that says, you know, sorry, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s our first flight, so we may get a little fussy. We appreciate your patience or whatever, and they like pass them out to the people around them. I&#39;ve only ever seen it on social media. I&#39;ve certainly never experienced it. I I want to get your take on this because my take is fuck off. Yeah, you&#39;re on a bus in the sky if my baby is crying. Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s you should have bought a uh you should fly uh private. Yeah. Like, like I get like what they&#39;re trying to do, they&#39;re trying to alleviate some of like the stress from them, maybe like, oh go ahead or whatever. Sure, but that is not fucking necessary. Gavin: 7:46 I mean, anybody who has had a child knows what it&#39;s like to be on a plane with a kid. Don&#39;t we all kind of just tune it out? I feel like I could sit next to a screaming baby on a plane and they&#39;d be like, whatever, it&#39;s not my kid. David: 7:58 I do because we all have headphones or we&#39;re all watching Master Chef or whatever on the TV. Gavin: 8:03 I think what you&#39;re describing is so one, it&#39;s meant to just be social media, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s so presentational and performative as to be frankly narcissistic and making everybody else&#39;s flight about me so that I have good social media content. So I just find it really disingenuous. I mean, if your kid screams for three hours, we can all deal with it. If it&#39;s an overnight flight to Europe, you might want to like buy everybody a drink, although it&#39;s an international flight. So I don&#39;t know. David: 8:34 I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s disingenuous, but I do think it is done so you as the parent feel less guilty about your child doing whatever. But I feel like if you&#39;re already doing that, you&#39;re already probably doing all the right things to try like pat your baby, give them interesting things. But at some point, as we know, kids are just gonna be assholes. There can be assholes in the sky, they can be assholes on a ship just outside of JFK. I mean, it it is so anyway. I just I was thinking about that while I was on my flight, and I was like, you know, I want to make sure that us parents don&#39;t feel like on top of all the other things we have to do when we&#39;re flying with our kids that we&#39;re not, yeah. Gavin: 9:12 It is so stressful to get on a plane. You&#39;re stressed, and then just the packing and the this and the that. Give yourself a break and don&#39;t go to that effort because you just need to please the people around you. It&#39;s uh it&#39;s it&#39;s too much. Too much. Um so this weekend we had um I I I posed this to the listener and the entire intrawebs universe out there. Why aren&#39;t my kids&#39; phone limits working? Something happened, and I invite everybody to tell me what is going on. Yes, I&#39;ve changed my password. Yes, I&#39;ve changed the settings. Yes, I&#39;ve done this, that, and the other. But you, David, because you&#39;re such a neophyte so far and you don&#39;t have um kids with phones. What&#39;s a new one? You don&#39;t realize a newbie that um there are settings that you can do in your family circle on iPhone to be able to monitor how much time your kid spends on um whatever app, right? And you&#39;re supposed to be able to set um uh set the time limits for how much time they spend on iPhone. David: 10:08 Yeah, because I feel like your daughter often asks for more time on her TikTok. Gavin: 10:12 Well, guess what? It&#39;s been four months since she asked for any more time. And I and it&#39;s not like I just woke up yesterday and realized something&#39;s wrong. I woke up four months ago and I&#39;m like, what something is wrong? She&#39;s not asking for more time. I&#39;ve been down Reddit rabbit holes. I am trying to do the research, and frankly, the come away, come uh the takeaway from it is just Apple doesn&#39;t care. They want you to be on the app. They&#39;re they don&#39;t care. You&#39;re not a priority, right? So anyway, this weekend we tried something new, which was I&#39;m like, okay, you realize you have to have limits. She&#39;s like, Yep. Um, so when you&#39;ve hit your limit and I think about it, I we&#39;re just gonna take your phone away, okay? Oh my god. Well, let me Oh, I thought that went well. Let me tell you the ways that did not go well, especially when I did it. Oh no. We&#39;ve made it 13 years until the moment that my daughter got a suitcase out and packed to leave. And it was on a Sunday night at 9:30 p.m., by the way. She was moving out. I&#39;m like, okay. But that I admit, that was sort of the end where I was like, oh, really? You&#39;re gonna leave now? And I started to laugh. And admittedly, she started to laugh too. And then she just she kind of gave up there. But just before that, she said, Can I have your phone? And I&#39;m like, no, you can&#39;t. Can I have your phone? You took mine. Well, what are you gonna do with my phone? I&#39;m gonna call Child Protective Services and David, I handed that phone over so fast. Call them. Call them. Do you want me to call 911 for you and hand the phone over because you have not been allowed to listen to Spotify during your shower? Which I admit, I&#39;m saying this out loud at how absurd that is, but the night had progressed to such levels of absurd. David: 12:01 I just I wish I could hear a recording of like CPS. What like what can I report? And they&#39;re like, oh my god, my dad&#39;s like abusing me. Like, well, what is he doing? I can&#39;t listen to Spotify in the shower. I can&#39;t listen to Gate my my most recent episode of Gate Sharks, which is my favorite podcast. And I have emailed them and I have rated them, I&#39;ve given them five stars. Yeah. Gavin: 12:20 Oh, listen, I have no uh dad hacks of the week for you, and there is no good news in the in the world. None. There&#39;s just all let&#39;s just all bury our heads in the sand this week. So I&#39;m gonna start a new um, a new trend here on uh it this is a new service we&#39;re gonna provide, which is daddy zaddy crushes. Okay, we should have a Gatriarch&#39;s new crush of the week once in a while, okay? Okay, and I want you to know, somewhat news related, our new daddy hack, or excuse me, our new daddy crush, we can definitely package this better. I&#39;ll leave it to Brian, your husband, to figure out how to market this better. Our new daddy, hunky crush of Gatriarchs is Governor Andy Bashir. Yeah. Do you know who Andy Bashir is? David: 13:06 I do. And and I and sometimes you and I uh aren&#39;t the on the same page about this because some of your daddies are like great grandfat daddies. Um but I will say Andy is in that perfect sweet spot. He&#39;s 47, he&#39;s a he looks good in a suit, he&#39;s got a very conservative haircut, but you know he has big balls. SPEAKER_03: 13:25 Do you know what I mean? David: 13:27 Like, yeah. Gavin: 13:28 Well, speaking of, in a super, super red state with a super red majority, he has recently made a statement that we&#39;re not going to hate on kids under the entire queer umbrella because here in Kentucky, we are good Americans who believe in the value of human rights and human expression, and we&#39;re not gonna shit on kids who are just trying to find their way in the world. And that goes for kids on the entire spectrum of gender and sexual identity. And it ain&#39;t just because of that that Andy Bashir is definitely our zaddy crush of the week, but that is um right, that informs it greatly. Crush of the week. David: 14:09 I like that. I like like the daddy crush of the week. Um, and we love fried chicken, so go for it, Kentucky. And bourbon. Yeah, I mean, I love that. Um, really quick before we move on, I was just thinking about stupid how like daycare and schools and stuff and how they deal with lunches and stuff. We will pack, I pack my kids lunches every day, and then I also will give them snacks. And sometimes I&#39;ll give them, you know, and and then usually daycare will return like the Tupperware, but then whatever they don&#39;t eat, they throw out...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Listener, we did it. 100 episodes today. And while we always aim low, somehow, we did 100 of them. So this week, we turn the tables, and we interview each other. From Gavin&apos;s route from politics to Broadway, and David&apos;s gambling addiction, come meet the hosts and get to know them better than ever.  Thank you, listener, for sticking with us. We hope to bring you the same mediocre content for the next 100.   Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 David, it&#39;s it it&#39;s our hundredth episode, and we have to do something special. Didn&#39;t you just say we should open the episode with singing happy birthday? SPEAKER_00: 0:10 Happy birthday to me Happy birth I&#39;m a hundred years old. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Gatriarchs. Happy birthday to me. David: 0:28 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:44 David, it&#39;s our hundredth episode. Have you planned lots of special stuff for us? Did you torture your children to get better stories out of them? David: 0:51 You and I have talked about this episode, and every time we talked about this episode, we go, we gotta do something great. We gotta do something great. We gotta plan. We&#39;re gonna have all kinds of cool things. And what do we do, Gabe? We punted. We punted. Gavin: 1:04 For listener, uh, you might think that we are living the high life of this is all we do, um, and we have the time to plan for it. And you can tell by our anemic social media that all we do is think about Gatrich all the time. The fact is, I started thinking about gatriarchs 11 minutes ago today. So and it&#39;s our hundredth episode. David: 1:23 Well, I am very proud of us. I think I am too a hundred episodes. Yeah, anything made is nearly impossible. Yeah, and for some reason, our listener has stuck with us, and that is that is crazy. Um speaking of listener, I have some two listener reach out um this past week. Gavin: 1:42 Um so do you think listener just uses a pseudonym sometimes and um it&#39;s another email account? David: 1:47 That&#39;s true. So one is um our listener, Sam, who is the host of the Baby Ready Podcast, who we love. Um and she is going to be my future wife because she um lives in Canada. Uh-huh. Right. She is she&#39;s married to her wife. However, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, but things are going so great here in the States. So we&#39;re thinking about divorcing our significant others and marrying each other because we love each other. But that being said, she wrote in to say uh when we were talking about me and my husband and my daughter going with my son to drop off, and you&#39;re like, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a new parent thing, that&#39;s a kindergarten thing. Oh, that that stuff will go away. Right. She has older kids, and she says her and her wife still show up to things together. Gavin: 2:31 Well, yeah, I mean, show up to things together, yes, but not every single day. She does drop-offs together. David: 2:38 Oh, great. Yeah. So anyway, thank you, listeners. Yeah, she is better than you. And also, um, our other listener, our or the same listener with a different email address and a different name and a different everything. Uh, Liam, hi Liam, he&#39;s one of our favorite listeners. Um, he reached out to remind me because I was talking about how much I love Scotland and how I want to move there someday. And my favorite town in Scotland is Inverness. He reached out to remind me he is from Inverness. Oh, yes. And so, with Sam, like with Sam, I will be divorcing my husband and marrying Liam, so I can now have a green card marriage to go to Inverness, Scotland, and live out our fantasy. So I have a lot of divorce in my future and a lot of marriage and a lot of divorce. Gavin: 3:24 Seems like another podcast to fraud, honestly. David: 3:27 A lot of fraud for those of you listening out there. Anyway, thank you, listener, for reaching ou]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Listener, we did it. 100 episodes today. And while we always aim low, somehow, we did 100 of them. So this week, we turn the tables, and we interview each other. From Gavin&apos;s route from politics to Broadway, and David&apos;s gambling addiction, come meet the hosts and get to know them better than ever.  Thank you, listener, for sticking with us. We hope to bring you the same mediocre content for the next 100.   Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 David, it&#39;s it it&#39;s our hundredth episode, and we have to do something special. Didn&#39;t you just say we should open the episode with singing happy birthday? SPEAKER_00: 0:10 Happy birthday to me Happy birth I&#39;m a hundred years old. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Gatriarchs. Happy birthday to me. David: 0:28 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:44 David, it&#39;s our hundredth episode. Have you pl]]></googleplay:description>
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	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Mar 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s in some deep shit, Gavin goes to the mall, David complains about dress up days, Gavin gives us a history lesson, and we rank the top 3 dick jokes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the N one. Gavin: 0:05 Why are you doing that? Please don&#39;t make this into a swastika thing. David: 0:08 I do it. Gavin: 0:12 I do. That&#39;s why you were doing it. Can we leave on a on a Semitic note and not an anti-Semitic note, please? Disclaimer, I am absolutely against fascism and against Nazis and against swastikas. David: 0:25 And this is Gatriarchs. We&#39;ve literally done it one time in our entire lives, and it was episode 98, the one before this. It was literally the first episode that we started, and you were like, hi David. And I was like, hi, David. Gavin: 0:59 I think it&#39;s important to be able to have that social etiquette of, you know, I&#39;m always telling my kids, make eye contact. I&#39;m looking at you through the computer screen. David: 1:07 Yeah. Kind of. Saying hi. You&#39;re you&#39;re spending most of your time looking at yourself. I&#39;ve watched me watching you watch yourself is the majority of my day. So um but you know what was the majority of my day yesterday? Tell me. Um my son was like, I don&#39;t feel so good. And we know as parents, it&#39;s never true. It&#39;s never true. No, it&#39;s never true. Um, or maybe it&#39;s like I have to fart or whatever. So he was like, I&#39;m not feeling well, I&#39;m not gonna go to school. We&#39;re like, yeah, right. Um and then he&#39;s like, I think I have to poop. And on his way to the toilet, he didn&#39;t make it. Oh no. And ended up having like seagull diarrhea all over the bathroom. Like, you know how like if a seagull has like indigestion and he just like shits everywhere, and it&#39;s like it&#39;s like kind of looks like a shit explosion where it&#39;s just everywhere. I don&#39;t know, I just thought of a seagull like shitting everywhere. Anyway, did not make it to the bathroom, and there was a trail of shit on the way and to and around, and it was horrific. And he was so embarrassed, I felt so sad, but also I was like, I gotta clean all this shit up. But it was yes, it was for sure boy who cried wolf because I was like, Oh, your tummy hurt, your tummy always hurts when you have to go to school. Get in the fucking car. And this time he was being truthful. Oh boy, so I feel like an asshole. Gavin: 2:29 That that I mean, that&#39;s gonna stay with him for a very long time. He is now creating core memories, as we know. In Inside Out, taught us about those core memories, and he&#39;s gonna remember the time he had seagull shits. David: 2:41 And we had also, we&#39;re also memorializing it in forever in this podcast. So again, on his wedding, yeah. Gavin: 2:48 Listener and Emmett will hear someday. Well, do you think Emmett will dig through to see episode 99? 99. I mean, we thought 69 was a big deal, but hey, it was a big deal. David: 3:00 We know it is fucking hard to produce a podcast, especially a weekly podcast, especially a weekly podcast with you. It&#39;s very hard. Gavin: 3:11 Do you remember any times having seagull shits when you were growing up that traumatized you for the rest of your life? David: 3:17 Um no, I&#39;ve mostly kept my shits to myself. I&#39;ve been pretty good about it. Although, as an adult in Manhattan, we know that bathrooms are not a plentiful and you have to get very creative. We&#39;ve spoken about this before. But no, I don&#39;t I&#39;ve never had like a you know salad shooter style um uh event, we&#39;ll call it. But of course, maybe as a kid, I don&#39;t know. But my mom didn&#39;t have a podcast, so how am I supposed to remember that part? Gavin: 3:46 For me, it&#39;s just about barfing in very inconvenient ways, but not necessarily diarrhea-ing in ways that we&#39;re not at least you know, caught up in my underoos and my oshkosh bagashes. David: 3:58 But I like that we&#39;re using diarrhea as a gerund now. Diarrhea-ing. Easy to say. Gavin: 4:03 Well done on your uh on your grammatical ways, Mr. Von Gerand. Von Girond. Um so this weekend, unrelated to um anything related to um seagull shit. That&#39;s a great transition. I had um I had another, I suppose this is one of those benchmark moments of raising a teenager where we had to do something called National History Day. Have you ever heard of National History Day? No. Was it something you did? No, right. So many of these things are very, you know, um geographically isolated. Like growing up in Colorado, I didn&#39;t do any, I had no idea what National History Day was. We didn&#39;t, frankly, do an awful lot of like academic competitions, because frankly, all that matters is sports, and the rest of us can just go, you know, uh jump off a cliff. But anyway, in Connecticut, National History Day is a, I guess, a big deal, or it is for our school. And so my daughter uh was part of National History Day, and she went, she advanced from the school level to uh a regional competition with her presentation of Oscar Schindler. And what the most hilarious part of me, first of all, I know. You remember last year when she was in seventh grade, she was obsessed with Holocaust movies, right? And we remember very often, right? We would often hear, can we just go home and watch a Holocaust movie? David: 5:18 Just the just the Connecticut of it all, just like it&#39;s just it&#39;s all worrying me, but I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna listen. I&#39;m gonna listen and not judge. Gavin: 5:26 Well, she her topic was Oscar Schindler. In the framework of National History Day this year is um rights and responsibilities. So you take a topic and you wedge it into rights and responsibilities, I suppose, in the best college essay way you possibly can, except you&#39;re in eighth grade. And um, so anyway, she has to make this big, you know, trifold poster with a bunch of like printout historical facts about Oscar Schindler. I&#39;m not sure like the critical thinking level going on there. It&#39;s more just regurgitating facts and figures. But the most impressive thing about my daughter&#39;s poster was the huge swastika. Oh my god. And I when I first saw the poster, I thought, oh, oh my god, that&#39;s a huge swastika at the very top. Now it was balanced. David: 6:12 Was she wearing a Make America Great Again hat? Gavin: 6:15 Like it was balanced by a big old Star of David, thank goodness. And it also wasn&#39;t like that in the middle, and now I can&#39;t even remember what it was. Maybe it was uh it was not centered, it was balanced left and right of the trifold with um a star of David, which was equally large and impressive. But you know, you see a big ol&#39; swastika, it is eye-popping. And I thought to myself, yeah, she&#39;s gonna get points, I think, for just like drama drawing your drama. David: 6:45 Right? Points for drama. Like you walk into that thing, you&#39;re gonna see 10 volcanoes. You&#39;re gonna, you know what I mean? Gavin: 6:50 You&#39;re gonna see a lot of a whole bunch of things about I don&#39;t like Marie Curie and Abraham Lincoln and all the things, and then swastika. David: 6:58 Swastika. Really proud of it. And I told you we we have uh my son used to have uh, well, I guess still is, but used to have an Indian friend, and we went to her parents&#39; house for like a play date, and there is a giant flower swastika hanging on their wall. And Brian and I both were like, holy fuck. And then we realized that is a different symbol in India than it is. But like you walk into a little girl&#39;s house and they&#39;re playing dolls, and you see a giant swastika on the wall, and you&#39;re like, what have I walked into? Is this a Connecticut history lesson? What is this? Gavin: 7:30 Yep. Yep. Speaking of swastikas. Oh my God. It reminds me of when our friend, friend of the pod, Ellen Marsh, um, uh had a sleepover at my house one time. That&#39;s a weird way of saying it. She visited us, and I had a sleepover. David: 7:45 I don&#39;t know that. That&#39;s like when you go tell another adult, you&#39;re like, I have to go potty, and you go, Oh, wait, I&#39;m still in kid mode. Do you ever do that? I stand sometimes with a side, I&#39;ll be like, oh, I gotta go potty real quick. Actually, I&#39;m gonna use the restroom because I&#39;m 45. Gavin: 7:59 So Ellen had a sleepover, and uh this is a stupid story. This is Gavin, you&#39;ve told a hundred almost a hundred stupid stories so far. What would make what would make it stop here? I had uh t-shirts from my childhood that were turned into a quilt by a friend, right? And teacher, and it was just a kind of a random collection of t-shirts that I was cleaning out from my house a hundred years ago when my mom passed away. And one of the t-shirts was a t-shirt that belonged to my dad that says cours on it, but with two swastikas as the as the O&#39;s. David: 8:30 So this is a there&#39;s historical context in your family for reason being my dad was a labor attorney, and it was during the time that Coors was on strike. Gavin: 8:41 And so it&#39;s this this memento from my childhood that I remember, but I don&#39;t remember it as being swastika because it was just this memento of my dad&#39;s. And but it was placed prominently in the middle of the quilt, which was terrible. David: 8:52 I know, and I thought for any of our for any of our Jewish listeners, we in no way support this. This is funny, um, even though we&#39;ve been laughing about it for about 10 minutes. Because so because it&#39;s so absurd. Yeah, please don&#39;t unfollow us. Gavin: 9:06 Because it was so absurd. And but the idea being that Coors is a is a you know a fascist company that wasn&#39;t actually giving labor rights to its um employees. So anyway, I remember Ellen was going to sleep in her room and she texts me, why are there swastikas looking at me from the corner of the room where the quilt had been unfortunately folded? Just away. Yeah. David: 9:34 Oh my gosh. Gavin: 9:35 So mortifying. Mortifying. I have I have since retired that blanket into a dusty, moth-eaten corner because it has swastikas on it and that needs to be put away. David: 9:46 Oh my god. I mean, I can&#39;t wait for your like MTV Cribs episode where they&#39;re like going around each room and they&#39;re like, oh, this is Gabin&#39;s, this is and then they just cut, they do a quick zoom, like a hard zoom to the swastika and then a quick pan to you. And you&#39;re just like, mmm. Um, so did your daughter win the history day with her swastika? Gavin: 10:05 So you know what? She got third place, and she is progressing to the state competition now. So she might have to redo her board, which means building another swastika at the top. David: 10:15 Oh my god. Um uh speaking of swastikas, I&#39;m just kidding. I&#39;m just that seems to be our transition every time. So I have complained about this before, but I have a new level of complaining. So it&#39;s just sit, everyone, listener, please sit down. So we have complained on this podcast endlessly about the like dress-up days and days that there are for various schools and daycares or whatever. Okay, so we we all know what it is. It&#39;s Dr. Seuss week, it&#39;s right across America, it&#39;s it&#39;s Christmas week, this week, today is jingle bells, tomorrow&#39;s whatever. And so spirit week, spirit week, spirit. Spirit week, all the color wars, all the things. So we have done that and it&#39;s super annoying, but whatever. Well, now my son goes to elementary school and my daughter goes to a daycare, and they have totally different fucking weeks. Gavin: 11:00 They have not conspired, they&#39;ve conspired against you by not collaborating together. David: 11:06 Exactly. And that&#39;s the problem. Because not only do I have now twice the amount of bullshit to put together on my children, but now they get to fight about whose day it&#39;s pajama day. Why does Emma get to wear pajamas today and I don&#39;t? Because your school isn&#39;t doing pajama day today. Your school&#39;s pajama day is next Friday. And it is, it&#39;s just adding to the level of like pure bullshit, all this is. And then, and then they get to school and I see like the school pictures of all the kids. Three kids, three kids are dressed up. Three, three, three total kids. The only thing they all seem to dress up with is the hundred year, the hundredth day or whatever. Oh, yeah, that&#39;s a big deal. Gavin: 11:42 Yep, the hundredth day, yeah. David: 11:44 But I&#39;m so my my my annoyance, my grievance this week is two kids in different schools who don&#39;t their their little days don&#39;t align. Although next year I just found out our town is now doing free pre-K at the elementary school, and they will bust the kids. Gavin: 12:01 Nice Okay, so finally you have there is light at the end of your tunnel. Yes. Yes, yes, uh, but it is true. I feel like TikTok is absolutely full of people of parents complaining about spirit weeks, which all tend to take place the week before Christmas, for example. Yeah, and in this case, um 100th day is a little different, although but um yeah, it is a it is a travesty. I mean, you want to talk about fascism, that is forcing spirit bring it back to the Nazis, Gabe and do what you&#39;re good at and making our kids dress up is just and it we never know about it until the night before. And hey, the three people in the class picture that dressed up, was it all gay parents? Was it the gays? David: 12:44 We&#39;re the only gay parents at the at our school, remember? We did there are two lesbians, but I don&#39;t count them as anything. Humans, whatever. Um I love what I can actually get you a little bit. Wait, um, speaking of night times, just really quick. Um, I am at a precipice in parenting. And I&#39;ve already done it with my son, but we&#39;re at it with my daughter, and I&#39;m really dreading it because I know what&#39;s next. And that is she&#39;s still in her crib. She is three, uh-huh. She has not tried to climb out. My son was the same way. He was just dumb enough to never consider it, but he was fully capable of doing it. My daughter is fully capable of climbing out. She has never considered it. So when she wakes up, she&#39;ll call for us or whatever. But now she&#39;s potty trained, she&#39;s not sleeping with a diaper, so she needs access to the bathroom, which means we&#39;re going to have to put her in a regular bed soon. And what that means is 9 p.m., 10 p.m., 11:45 p.m., 12.01 a.m. I&#39;m going to get a little tap tap tap on my shoulder. I&#39;m going to like take a giant breath as I&#39;m being sucked out of the dream where I was having sex with Matt Damon from talented Mr. Ripley. And she&#39;s going to be like, my blanket is funny. And I&#39;m going to be like, God fucking damn it. So we are leaving the comfort of cribs here. Gavin: 13:55 Yes, you are. It&#39;s the next two years. I mean, did you now let&#39;s revisit this? Did you you did have the colored um timer deal that says you don&#39;t wake up? You can&#39;t get out of bed when it&#39;s until it&#39;s green or yellow or whatever. You have one of the things. David: 14:09 Yeah, the hatchlights, yeah. Gavin: 14:10 Um, yeah, so you have a hatchlight. Do you think do you think your daughter will follow the hatchlight? My daughter I can&#39;t even ask that no straight face. David: 14:18 She she she is uh again. This is for the for those of you listener who are um are young. There was a time like eight to ten years ago where it was like honey badger, don&#39;t give a shit, was like the hottest thing on the internet. Maybe that was 15 years ago. Dating yourself. Yeah, she is the honey badger. She doesn&#39;t thought play by anybody&#39;s rules. Now, she is getting a little bit better. She&#39;s three, but no, she&#39;s she&#39;s gonna look at that light and just she&#39;ll she doesn&#39;t give a fuck. But but and my son was a rule for a while. Gavin: 14:46 She won&#39;t even look at it as the thing. David: 14:48 No, not at all. So, anyway, so the...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s in some deep shit, Gavin goes to the mall, David complains about dress up days, Gavin gives us a history lesson, and we rank the top 3 dick jokes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or yo]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s in some deep shit, Gavin goes to the mall, David complains about dress up days, Gavin gives us a history lesson, and we rank the top 3 dick jokes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the N one. Gavin: 0:05 Why are you doing that? Please don&#39;t make this into a swastika thing. David: 0:08 I do it. Gavin: 0:12 I do. That&#39;s why you were doing it. Can we leave on a on a Semitic note and not an anti-Semitic note, please? Disclaimer, I am absolutely against fascism and against Nazis and against swastikas. David: 0:25 And this is Gatriarchs. We&#39;ve literally done it one time in our entire lives, and it was episode 98, the one before this. It was literally the first episode that we started, and you were like, hi David. And I was like, hi, David. Gavin: 0:59 I think it&#39;s important to be able to have that social etiquette of, you know, I&#39;m always telling my kids, make eye contact. I&#39;m looking at you through the computer screen. David: 1:07 Yeah. Kind of. Saying hi. You&#39;re you&#39;re spending most of your time looking at yourself. I&#39;ve watched me watching you watch yourself is the majority of my day. So um but you know what was the majority of my day yesterday? Tell me. Um my son was like, I don&#39;t feel so good. And we know as parents, it&#39;s never true. It&#39;s never true. No, it&#39;s never true. Um, or maybe it&#39;s like I have to fart or whatever. So he was like, I&#39;m not feeling well, I&#39;m not gonna go to school. We&#39;re like, yeah, right. Um and then he&#39;s like, I think I have to poop. And on his way to the toilet, he didn&#39;t make it. Oh no. And ended up having like seagull diarrhea all over the bathroom. Like, you know how like if a seagull has like indigestion and he just like shits everywhere, and it&#39;s like it&#39;s like kind of looks like a shit explosion where it&#39;s just everywhere. I don&#39;t know, I just thought of a seagull like shitting everywhere. Anyway, did not make it to the bathroom, and there was a trail of shit on the way and to and around, and it was horrific. And he was so embarrassed, I felt so sad, but also I was like, I gotta clean all this shit up. But it was yes, it was for sure boy who cried wolf because I was like, Oh, your tummy hurt, your tummy always hurts when you have to go to school. Get in the fucking car. And this time he was being truthful. Oh boy, so I feel like an asshole. Gavin: 2:29 That that I mean, that&#39;s gonna stay with him for a very long time. He is now creating core memories, as we know. In Inside Out, taught us about those core memories, and he&#39;s gonna remember the time he had seagull shits. David: 2:41 And we had also, we&#39;re also memorializing it in forever in this podcast. So again, on his wedding, yeah. Gavin: 2:48 Listener and Emmett will hear someday. Well, do you think Emmett will dig through to see episode 99? 99. I mean, we thought 69 was a big deal, but hey, it was a big deal. David: 3:00 We know it is fucking hard to produce a podcast, especially a weekly podcast, especially a weekly podcast with you. It&#39;s very hard. Gavin: 3:11 Do you remember any times having seagull shits when you were growing up that traumatized you for the rest of your life? David: 3:17 Um no, I&#39;ve mostly kept my shits to myself. I&#39;ve been pretty good about it. Although, as an adult in Manhattan, we know that bathrooms are not a plentiful and you have to get very creative. We&#39;ve spoken about this before. But no, I don&#39;t I&#39;ve never had like a you know salad shooter style um uh event, we&#39;ll call it. But of course, maybe as a kid, I don&#39;t know. But my mom didn&#39;t have a podcast, so how am I supposed to remember that part? Gavin: 3:46 For me, it&#39;s just about barfing in very inconvenient ways, but not necessarily diarrhea-ing in ways that we&#39;re not at least you know, caught up in my underoos and my oshkosh bagashes. David: 3:58 But I like that we&#39;re using diarrhea as a gerund now. Diarrhea-ing. Easy to say. Gavin: 4:03 Well done on your uh on your grammatical ways, Mr. Von Gerand. Von Girond. Um so this weekend, unrelated to um anything related to um seagull shit. That&#39;s a great transition. I had um I had another, I suppose this is one of those benchmark moments of raising a teenager where we had to do something called National History Day. Have you ever heard of National History Day? No. Was it something you did? No, right. So many of these things are very, you know, um geographically isolated. Like growing up in Colorado, I didn&#39;t do any, I had no idea what National History Day was. We didn&#39;t, frankly, do an awful lot of like academic competitions, because frankly, all that matters is sports, and the rest of us can just go, you know, uh jump off a cliff. But anyway, in Connecticut, National History Day is a, I guess, a big deal, or it is for our school. And so my daughter uh was part of National History Day, and she went, she advanced from the school level to uh a regional competition with her presentation of Oscar Schindler. And what the most hilarious part of me, first of all, I know. You remember last year when she was in seventh grade, she was obsessed with Holocaust movies, right? And we remember very often, right? We would often hear, can we just go home and watch a Holocaust movie? David: 5:18 Just the just the Connecticut of it all, just like it&#39;s just it&#39;s all worrying me, but I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna listen. I&#39;m gonna listen and not judge. Gavin: 5:26 Well, she her topic was Oscar Schindler. In the framework of National History Day this year is um rights and responsibilities. So you take a topic and you wedge it into rights and responsibilities, I suppose, in the best college essay way you possibly can, except you&#39;re in eighth grade. And um, so anyway, she has to make this big, you know, trifold poster with a bunch of like printout historical facts about Oscar Schindler. I&#39;m not sure like the critical thinking level going on there. It&#39;s more just regurgitating facts and figures. But the most impressive thing about my daughter&#39;s poster was the huge swastika. Oh my god. And I when I first saw the poster, I thought, oh, oh my god, that&#39;s a huge swastika at the very top. Now it was balanced. David: 6:12 Was she wearing a Make America Great Again hat? Gavin: 6:15 Like it was balanced by a big old Star of David, thank goodness. And it also wasn&#39;t like that in the middle, and now I can&#39;t even remember what it was. Maybe it was uh it was not centered, it was balanced left and right of the trifold with um a star of David, which was equally large and impressive. But you know, you see a big ol&#39; swastika, it is eye-popping. And I thought to myself, yeah, she&#39;s gonna get points, I think, for just like drama drawing your drama. David: 6:45 Right? Points for drama. Like you walk into that thing, you&#39;re gonna see 10 volcanoes. You&#39;re gonna, you know what I mean? Gavin: 6:50 You&#39;re gonna see a lot of a whole bunch of things about I don&#39;t like Marie Curie and Abraham Lincoln and all the things, and then swastika. David: 6:58 Swastika. Really proud of it. And I told you we we have uh my son used to have uh, well, I guess still is, but used to have an Indian friend, and we went to her parents&#39; house for like a play date, and there is a giant flower swastika hanging on their wall. And Brian and I both were like, holy fuck. And then we realized that is a different symbol in India than it is. But like you walk into a little girl&#39;s house and they&#39;re playing dolls, and you see a giant swastika on the wall, and you&#39;re like, what have I walked into? Is this a Connecticut history lesson? What is this? Gavin: 7:30 Yep. Yep. Speaking of swastikas. Oh my God. It reminds me of when our friend, friend of the pod, Ellen Marsh, um, uh had a sleepover at my house one time. That&#39;s a weird way of saying it. She visited us, and I had a sleepover. David: 7:45 I don&#39;t know that. That&#39;s like when you go tell another adult, you&#39;re like, I have to go potty, and you go, Oh, wait, I&#39;m still in kid mode. Do you ever do that? I stand sometimes with a side, I&#39;ll be like, oh, I gotta go potty real quick. Actually, I&#39;m gonna use the restroom because I&#39;m 45. Gavin: 7:59 So Ellen had a sleepover, and uh this is a stupid story. This is Gavin, you&#39;ve told a hundred almost a hundred stupid stories so far. What would make what would make it stop here? I had uh t-shirts from my childhood that were turned into a quilt by a friend, right? And teacher, and it was just a kind of a random collection of t-shirts that I was cleaning out from my house a hundred years ago when my mom passed away. And one of the t-shirts was a t-shirt that belonged to my dad that says cours on it, but with two swastikas as the as the O&#39;s. David: 8:30 So this is a there&#39;s historical context in your family for reason being my dad was a labor attorney, and it was during the time that Coors was on strike. Gavin: 8:41 And so it&#39;s this this memento from my childhood that I remember, but I don&#39;t remember it as being swastika because it was just this memento of my dad&#39;s. And but it was placed prominently in the middle of the quilt, which was terrible. David: 8:52 I know, and I thought for any of our for any of our Jewish listeners, we in no way support this. This is funny, um, even though we&#39;ve been laughing about it for about 10 minutes. Because so because it&#39;s so absurd. Yeah, please don&#39;t unfollow us. Gavin: 9:06 Because it was so absurd. And but the idea being that Coors is a is a you know a fascist company that wasn&#39;t actually giving labor rights to its um employees. So anyway, I remember Ellen was going to sleep in her room and she texts me, why are there swastikas looking at me from the corner of the room where the quilt had been unfortunately folded? Just away. Yeah. David: 9:34 Oh my gosh. Gavin: 9:35 So mortifying. Mortifying. I have I have since retired that blanket into a dusty, moth-eaten corner because it has swastikas on it and that needs to be put away. David: 9:46 Oh my god. I mean, I can&#39;t wait for your like MTV Cribs episode where they&#39;re like going around each room and they&#39;re like, oh, this is Gabin&#39;s, this is and then they just cut, they do a quick zoom, like a hard zoom to the swastika and then a quick pan to you. And you&#39;re just like, mmm. Um, so did your daughter win the history day with her swastika? Gavin: 10:05 So you know what? She got third place, and she is progressing to the state competition now. So she might have to redo her board, which means building another swastika at the top. David: 10:15 Oh my god. Um uh speaking of swastikas, I&#39;m just kidding. I&#39;m just that seems to be our transition every time. So I have complained about this before, but I have a new level of complaining. So it&#39;s just sit, everyone, listener, please sit down. So we have complained on this podcast endlessly about the like dress-up days and days that there are for various schools and daycares or whatever. Okay, so we we all know what it is. It&#39;s Dr. Seuss week, it&#39;s right across America, it&#39;s it&#39;s Christmas week, this week, today is jingle bells, tomorrow&#39;s whatever. And so spirit week, spirit week, spirit. Spirit week, all the color wars, all the things. So we have done that and it&#39;s super annoying, but whatever. Well, now my son goes to elementary school and my daughter goes to a daycare, and they have totally different fucking weeks. Gavin: 11:00 They have not conspired, they&#39;ve conspired against you by not collaborating together. David: 11:06 Exactly. And that&#39;s the problem. Because not only do I have now twice the amount of bullshit to put together on my children, but now they get to fight about whose day it&#39;s pajama day. Why does Emma get to wear pajamas today and I don&#39;t? Because your school isn&#39;t doing pajama day today. Your school&#39;s pajama day is next Friday. And it is, it&#39;s just adding to the level of like pure bullshit, all this is. And then, and then they get to school and I see like the school pictures of all the kids. Three kids, three kids are dressed up. Three, three, three total kids. The only thing they all seem to dress up with is the hundred year, the hundredth day or whatever. Oh, yeah, that&#39;s a big deal. Gavin: 11:42 Yep, the hundredth day, yeah. David: 11:44 But I&#39;m so my my my annoyance, my grievance this week is two kids in different schools who don&#39;t their their little days don&#39;t align. Although next year I just found out our town is now doing free pre-K at the elementary school, and they will bust the kids. Gavin: 12:01 Nice Okay, so finally you have there is light at the end of your tunnel. Yes. Yes, yes, uh, but it is true. I feel like TikTok is absolutely full of people of parents complaining about spirit weeks, which all tend to take place the week before Christmas, for example. Yeah, and in this case, um 100th day is a little different, although but um yeah, it is a it is a travesty. I mean, you want to talk about fascism, that is forcing spirit bring it back to the Nazis, Gabe and do what you&#39;re good at and making our kids dress up is just and it we never know about it until the night before. And hey, the three people in the class picture that dressed up, was it all gay parents? Was it the gays? David: 12:44 We&#39;re the only gay parents at the at our school, remember? We did there are two lesbians, but I don&#39;t count them as anything. Humans, whatever. Um I love what I can actually get you a little bit. Wait, um, speaking of night times, just really quick. Um, I am at a precipice in parenting. And I&#39;ve already done it with my son, but we&#39;re at it with my daughter, and I&#39;m really dreading it because I know what&#39;s next. And that is she&#39;s still in her crib. She is three, uh-huh. She has not tried to climb out. My son was the same way. He was just dumb enough to never consider it, but he was fully capable of doing it. My daughter is fully capable of climbing out. She has never considered it. So when she wakes up, she&#39;ll call for us or whatever. But now she&#39;s potty trained, she&#39;s not sleeping with a diaper, so she needs access to the bathroom, which means we&#39;re going to have to put her in a regular bed soon. And what that means is 9 p.m., 10 p.m., 11:45 p.m., 12.01 a.m. I&#39;m going to get a little tap tap tap on my shoulder. I&#39;m going to like take a giant breath as I&#39;m being sucked out of the dream where I was having sex with Matt Damon from talented Mr. Ripley. And she&#39;s going to be like, my blanket is funny. And I&#39;m going to be like, God fucking damn it. So we are leaving the comfort of cribs here. Gavin: 13:55 Yes, you are. It&#39;s the next two years. I mean, did you now let&#39;s revisit this? Did you you did have the colored um timer deal that says you don&#39;t wake up? You can&#39;t get out of bed when it&#39;s until it&#39;s green or yellow or whatever. You have one of the things. David: 14:09 Yeah, the hatchlights, yeah. Gavin: 14:10 Um, yeah, so you have a hatchlight. Do you think do you think your daughter will follow the hatchlight? My daughter I can&#39;t even ask that no straight face. David: 14:18 She she she is uh again. This is for the for those of you listener who are um are young. There was a time like eight to ten years ago where it was like honey badger, don&#39;t give a shit, was like the hottest thing on the internet. Maybe that was 15 years ago. Dating yourself. Yeah, she is the honey badger. She doesn&#39;t thought play by anybody&#39;s rules. Now, she is getting a little bit better. She&#39;s three, but no, she&#39;s she&#39;s gonna look at that light and just she&#39;ll she doesn&#39;t give a fuck. But but and my son was a rule for a while. Gavin: 14:46 She won&#39;t even look at it as the thing. David: 14:48 No, not at all. So, anyway, so the...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s in some deep shit, Gavin goes to the mall, David complains about dress up days, Gavin gives us a history lesson, and we rank the top 3 dick jokes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the N one. Gavin: 0:05 Why are you doing that? Please don&#39;t make this into a swastika thing. David: 0:08 I do it. Gavin: 0:12 I do. That&#39;s why you were doing it. Can we leave on a on a Semitic note and not an anti-Semitic note, please? Disclaimer, I am absolutely against fascism and against Nazis and against swastikas. David: 0:25 And this is Gatriarchs. We&#39;ve literally done it one time in our entire lives, and it was episode 98, the one before this. It was literally the first episode that we started, and you were like, hi David. And I was like, hi, David. Gavin: 0:59 I think it&#39;s important to be able to have that social etiquette of, you know, I&#39;m always telling my kids, make eye contact. I&#39;m looking at you through the computer screen. David: 1:07 Yeah. Kind of. Saying hi. You&#39;re you&#39;re spending most of your time looking at yourself. I&#39;ve watched me watching you watch yourself is the majority of my day. So um but you know what was the majority of my day yesterday? Tell me. Um my son was like, I don&#39;t feel so good. And we know as parents, it&#39;s never true. It&#39;s never true. No, it&#39;s never true. Um, or maybe it&#39;s like I have to fart or whatever. So he was like, I&#39;m not feeling well, I&#39;m not gonna go to school. We&#39;re like, yeah, right. Um and then he&#39;s like, I think I have to poop. And on his way to the toilet, he didn&#39;t make it. Oh no. And ended up having like seagull diarrhea all over the bathroom. Like, you know how like if a seagull has like indigestion and he just like shits everywhere, and it&#39;s like it&#39;s like kind of looks like a shit explosion where it&#39;s just everywhere. I don&#39;t know, I just thought of a seagull like shitting everywhere. Anyway, did not make it to the bathroom, and there was a trail of shit on the way and to and around, and it was horrific. And he was so embarrassed, I felt so sad, but also I was like, I gotta clean all this shit up. But it was yes, it was for sure boy who cried wolf because I was like, Oh, your tummy hurt, your tummy always hurts when you have to go to school. Get in the fucking car. And this time he was being truthful. Oh boy, so I feel like an asshole. Gavin: 2:29 That that I mean, that&#39;s gonna stay with him for a very long time. He is now creating core memories, as we know. In Inside Out, taught us about those core memories, and he&#39;s gonna remember the time he had seagull shits. David: 2:41 And we had also, we&#39;re also memorializing it in forever in this podcast. So again, on his wedding, yeah. Gavin: 2:48 Listener and Emmett will hear someday. Well, do you think Emmett will dig through to see episode 99? 99. I mean, we thought 69 was a big deal, but hey, it was a big deal. David: 3:00 We know it is fucking hard to produce a podcast, especially a weekly podcast, especially a weekly podcast with you. It&#39;s very hard. Gavin: 3:11 Do you remember any times having seagull shits when you were growing up that traumatized you for the rest of your life? David: 3:17 Um no, I&#39;ve mostly kept my shits to myself. I&#39;ve been pretty good about it. Although, as an adult in Manhattan, we know that bathrooms are not a plentiful and you have to get very creative. We&#39;ve spoken about this before. But no, I don&#39;t I&#39;ve never had like a you know salad shooter style um uh event, we&#39;ll call it. But of course, maybe as a kid, I don&#39;t know. But my mom didn&#39;t have a podcast, so how am I supposed to remember that part? Gavin: 3:46 For me, it&#39;s just about barfing in very inconvenient ways, but ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s in some deep shit, Gavin goes to the mall, David complains about dress up days, Gavin gives us a history lesson, and we rank the top 3 dick jokes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the N one. Gavin: 0:05 Why are you doing that? Please don&#39;t make this into a swastika thing. David: 0:08 I do it. Gavin: 0:12 I do. That&#39;s why you were doing it. Can we leave on a on a Semitic note and not an anti-Semitic note, please? Disclaimer, I am absolutely against fascism and against Nazis and against swastikas. David: 0:25 And this is Gatriarchs. We&#39;ve literally done it one time in our entire lives, and it was episode 98, the one before this. It was literally the first episode that we started, and you were like, hi David. And I was like, hi, David. Gavin: 0:59 I think it&#39;s impo]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>Yet another one with nobody</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/yet-another-one-with-nobody/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Mar 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Spring is in the air, David&apos;s white guilt takes over, Gavin is a control freak, we create new traditions for our families, we rank to top 3 iconic musical theatre performances, Gavin has some good news for once, and we end the show with a hostile government takeover &#8211; and it&apos;s a bop! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Spring is in the air, David&apos;s white guilt takes over, Gavin is a control freak, we create new traditions for our families, we rank to top 3 iconic musical theatre performances, Gavin has some good news for once, and we end the show with a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Spring is in the air, David&apos;s white guilt takes over, Gavin is a control freak, we create new traditions for our families, we rank to top 3 iconic musical theatre performances, Gavin has some good news for once, and we end the show with a hostile government takeover &#8211; and it&apos;s a bop! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Spring is in the air, David&apos;s white guilt takes over, Gavin is a control freak, we create new traditions for our families, we rank to top 3 iconic musical theatre performances, Gavin has some good news for once, and we end the show with a hostile government takeover &#8211; and it&apos;s a bop! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Spring is in the air, David&apos;s white guilt takes over, Gavin is a control freak, we create new traditions for our families, we rank to top 3 iconic musical theatre performances, Gavin has some good news for once, and we end the show with a hostile government takeover &#8211; and it&apos;s a bop! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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	<title>Another one with nobody</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/another-one-with-nobody/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Mar 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets caught giving gratitude publicly, Gavin recaps his rich-person&apos;s vacation, we make a plea to our international listener, we run through some gay news, and we are rank our top 3 beach vacation destinations.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Listener, this is the cold open where normally I make fun of Gavin for tripping over some word or something. But we forgot to tell you, we just recorded the episode that this is gonna be our first episode of not having a guest sometimes. Gavin: 0:11 Just bantering. I don&#39;t know. David: 0:13 Let us know what you think, listener. But it was fun for us. You guys were so mad at us for saying we were going bi-weekly because it was hard to keep up with all the guests. So we&#39;re do we&#39;re we&#39;re listening to you. And so this is gonna be our first episode. Let us know what you think. Um, it&#39;s a lot of Gavin talking. I&#39;m gonna just go ahead and tell you that up front. Gavin talks quite a bit in this episode, so just make sure you use the 2x version. You can fast forward if you need to. Gavin: 0:36 Which you should be doing anyway. It&#39;ll change your life anyway to listen to podcasts on 1.5x. That&#39;s what I do. Um, and um, and also send us to more guests. We have a bunch of people actually booked and lined up, but um, hey, we want to hear who you want to talk to as well. So send us your friends. And especially the hot ones. David: 0:51 And there&#39;s just patriarchs. Gaben, I&#39;m fearful I&#39;m diluting my brand. Gavin: 1:11 Because you as if you have a brand. David: 1:15 I don&#39;t have many things, but I was on TikTok, and I usually just do what a lot of people do, is just like doom scroll. Maybe I&#39;ll make a TikTok, but like I don&#39;t comment and interact with people usually. Ew. I happen to, I know. I happened to see this video, and there&#39;s this woman, and she was like, tell me something that&#39;s changed your life that you know cost nothing, or something, or some video like that. And I was like, I don&#39;t know, fuck it, I&#39;ll comment. Right. And I commented something very earnest and grateful and sweet. Oh, I&#39;m sure. And gave them it blew up. Wait, it has like 30,000 likes and like my comment went to the top of this video that went viral, and now everyone thinks I&#39;m this grateful, thoughtful, earnest. Gavin: 1:57 Little do they know. You&#39;re just a hollow soul of cynicism. David: 2:02 Empty inside, full of black tar. And I was literally, I had to make a video responding to my own comments. You could see that. Gavin: 2:10 You were doing damage control. David: 2:11 I was literally like for any of you who are following me because of this, please stop. My account is like dick jokes and silly videos and like making fun of parents and whatever. But like, yeah, of course, that&#39;s the comment that fucking blew up. I was like, oh, who is this sensitive soul? Gavin: 2:27 I need some more explanation. What it what was the video? David: 2:30 I basically said I I basically said that that one of the things that like I feel like changed, not changed my life, but you know, was like a great thing that I did was I&#39;ve just started to decide to say the compliments I say to myself in my head out loud. So like other people to yourself in the mirror. Yeah, well, yeah, first to myself and then to other people. Well, the idea was I was having dinner and there was this amazing waitress, and she was like really good and really funny, but like didn&#39;t hang around. Like she was just a great waitress. And I said to my husband, she was so good. God, she&#39;s so good. And then she comes over to give us the bill, and then I shut my mouth. Oh. And I just pay the bill. And then I said to myself, what the fuck are you doing, David? You think this nice thing is? It&#39;s nice to go around spreading joy. Gavin: 3:11 Yeah, I&#39;m sure. David: 3:12 Yeah, but not fake joy, not like, oh, I&#39;m just making shit up and saying everyone looks nice today. Like when you naturally think something positive in your head, say it out loud. And so that was like my comment on this person&#39;s video. And everyone&#39;s like, oh, what a sweet, charming, thoughtful boy. Let&#39;s let&#39;s blow him up. And I&#39;m like, no, no, no, no, guys. Trust me, I am not the place. So anyway, I&#39;m diluting my brand, so I have some damage control. Gavin: 3:36 I love that. You know what? I actually was on a plane last night. I had to do some travel for work, and I got onto the plane, and there was a flight attendant, a woman who was probably in her 60s, who had the most amazing voluptuous hair. I mean like Beyonce hair. You&#39;re welcome. Beyonce hair. You got me. I was I was ready for it. It was the word voluptuous, wasn&#39;t it? It was good. Her hair was just amazing. And I wanted to say, wow, you have amazing hair. And I didn&#39;t. And uh, and then when I got off the plane, I thought I should say it, and then I didn&#39;t. And I&#39;m usually actually, I have no problem giving compliments, and I think that the takeaway from this is one, I was in a crabbing mood last night, maybe. Two, she had amazing voluptuous hair, and three, always tell people that they have voluptuous hair. David: 4:25 There is like a little asterisk of like men complimenting women&#39;s bodies that like maybe we like we don&#39;t do that part of it, but like a great waitress or like somebody who&#39;s funny, or like you know what I mean? Gavin: 4:35 Or if you just precede it with or post uh follow it up with, by the way, I&#39;m gay. David: 4:41 So I&#39;m I&#39;m noticing you and I never compliment each other. Notice that. So let&#39;s all just unpack that a little bit. Gavin: 4:49 So um I was doing some traveling, and um, I far be it for me to get on here and say, Oh my gosh, I had a great vacation. But I hey, we did take some time, we spent more money than we should have, and um we I took the kids, and well, my partner and I took the kids to um the Caribbean. We went to St. John, which was amazing. I highly recommend it. Everything is so expensive. Like, when did life just call me MAGA? When did life get so expensive? Except everything is just expensive, you know, but I suppose that&#39;s vacationing. Anyway, but St. John we went to because um it&#39;s mostly national park, and there are a couple of places that you can actually camp, basically. I mean, it&#39;s kind of like glamping pre-glamping. There&#39;s nothing glamorous at all about it, but it&#39;s a platform with actual beds and a tent, um, and uh which makes it really cheap, actually. So like you can sleep for 250 bucks a night. Um it I mean, you know, better than 800. Um and you&#39;re just steps from the beach, and that was awesome. But um, the reason I suppose here, this prepare yourself for all the gratitude. But it is a matter of hold on, let me sit down. It&#39;s a matter of keeping in mind what what do you get, what do you take away from vacations? You spend so much money to do this, and then you come away being like, Yeah, I just played soccer with my kid and it was fun. And you think, what was the point of that? David: 6:08 That I spent or you&#39;re just looking at like at the clock and you&#39;re like, when do we get good to go back home and sleep in my bed or whatever like that? And you&#39;re like, why are we doing this? Gavin: 6:15 Yes, it really does make you wonder why do we bother? I mean, and especially when kids, especially kids your age, really they just want a pool. So you can go to the Marriott down the street for hopefully less than$185. And and they&#39;re like, that was awesome. You know, that&#39;s I mean, my kids just really still at even at age 11 and 13, they&#39;re fine with just going to a Hampton and with a pool. But I will say, I um I, in my complete insanity, always trying to keep them off their phones, um, which was not too bad at the camping area because there wasn&#39;t great Wi-Fi, thank goodness. But we went a little hike, and that was awesome, even though they complained all the way up. But we got to the top of a mountain and we were there were these ruins, and we I took pictures of them on their phone because there was Wi-Fi at the top of the mountain. So they each immediately pulled their phones out. But you know, we made memories hiking up and hiking down. It was sweaty and hot, and I mean, I wasn&#39;t having fun. Like, why do I do these things that even I&#39;m not having fun, but we do it, right? But yeah, you check it off the list. So we went up hike and then playing soccer on the beach with my kid at sunset. I mean, that&#39;s pretty special. Um, and then um they had a little basketball court, and we pulled my partner who is is incredibly talented and gifted in innumerable ways. But basketball. I see, I can hear the butt coming. Basketball not his jam, nor is it mine, by the way. Disclaimer, I&#39;m terrible and I hate basketball. Uh, too much PTSD about being the tall kid who couldn&#39;t play basketball when he was a kid. But we played a game of horse, you know, and just like shooting the baskets and blah, blah, blah. And it was so fun, the four of us standing around on a basketball court. And that&#39;s our takeaway from this 10-quarters. David: 7:54 Playing basketball and playing soccer on a beach, you could have done for$80 and instead you did it for$80,000. Yes. Why do we do this? Why do we do it? And because I think we have a romantic vision of like the experience and living in this memory or whatever. You can just stop right there. Gavin: 8:09 That&#39;s what parenting is, just a romantic vision of that it&#39;s all gonna be exactly the way it&#39;s a good idea. David: 8:13 But I wonder if it is for them, they&#39;re gonna carry that vision because I have like visions of like amazing vacations in my head, but from my parents&#39; point of view, maybe it was fucking bullshit. Yeah, like one of my fate, one of my my favorite vacation memories, I remember was like at this like cabin alongside a river, uh-huh and we would just like be in the river for hours and hours and hours a day. I wonder if that was like a ghetto, like redneck place that like the real thing had fallen through and whatever. But like, yeah, maybe maybe your kids are loving it. Gavin: 8:41 Did your parents enjoy their time there? I wonder I don&#39;t know. David: 8:45 I don&#39;t consider my parents when I&#39;m a child. Yeah, I know. All I could, you know what I mean? You don&#39;t consider their happiness or their point of view. Yeah, no, it&#39;s so you do now as an adult, but like as a kid, you&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t know, take me to the place I want to go. Gavin: 8:54 I can still hear my mother talking about her favorite times growing up. She grew up in um Illinois and being like, the only summer break or summer vacation we would take is going to Turkey Run in Indiana. And it was just like camping. I mean, that&#39;s what it was. And it was like out in the woods. And it is like that simplicity. Um, why do we do this to ourselves? David: 9:13 You know, because so what is so, but I feel like I feel like I have to push myself as a parent because I am I succumb to the like, uh, it&#39;s just easier to stay in. Let&#39;s just walk to the park. Let&#39;s just like versus like we have some friends that are super outdoorsy. They&#39;re always, hey, do you want to go hiking? Do you want to go camping? And and we&#39;ve just decided to say yes this year. And it&#39;s always great. It&#39;s always fun, it&#39;s always better. But there is this like, we&#39;re gonna have this vacation vision, and if it doesn&#39;t hold true, I&#39;m gonna be pissed. And that&#39;s I think maybe that&#39;s it, is just to let go of any sort of preconceived thoughts. Why are we being so earnest? Say something about dick. Um, dick jokes. Gavin: 9:48 Oh, I do have one. Um, so a guy and his we&#39;ll say husband are um they&#39;re getting ready to go for bed, and one of the husbands is praying, um, his saying his goodnight dreams and whatnot. And the other, uh his husband says, Hey, what are you dreaming about? He said, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m um nope. That I fucked that one. Oh, this is no, I have this is great so far. David: 10:09 This is like the our listener is leaning in, they&#39;re driving down the road, getting ready to giggle. Let me find it. They know what&#39;s coming. Gavin: 10:16 Let me find it. Let me find it. Oh, here we go. A husband says to his husband, I bet you can&#39;t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time. The other guy thinks about it for a minute and says, Your dick is bigger than your brother&#39;s. David: 10:30 Wait, I I I need to go back a little bit. What did anything you said prior have to do with that particular joke? You said make a dick joke. You said stop being early. No, no, no. I mean you were like praying. Oh, oh, oh, that was the other one. That was the other one. No, no, hold on, hold on. I can give you that one too. No, no, no. I think quit while you&#39;re ahead. That was a good joke. That was funny. Gavin: 10:51 Yeah. This is fine. Hold on, hold on. But this is a poor listener. I know. Where was it? An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, What are you doing? I&#39;m praying for guidance, replies the man. Just pray for stiffness, says the wife, and I&#39;ll guide the fucker. Wow. Wow. Um goodness. Speaking of so then one last thing about um the the illusions I or the delusions I have about vacations is that um I was just constantly ha ragging on my kids about reading, reading a book. I didn&#39;t want to read a book when I was 11 and 13 years old. My favorite thing to do in the entire world, though, is to sit on a beach with an umbrella because skin cancer, reading a book. It&#39;s my it&#39;s it&#39;s just my favorite. And I&#39;m trying to like force feed it to them because I think my I want to have the kids. Did you watch White Lotus? Mm-hmm. I want my kids to be those two judgy, rich, beautiful girls reading first season. First season. Oh, reading like Nietzsche pool side and reading philosophy. Those girls were first of all probably not reading those books. They probably were just had their phones tucked into their books. And they were like college kids. So of course my kids aren&#39;t gonna be like that, but I hope they are when they&#39;re in college. Anyway, yeah. What must it be like to have you as a dad? I know, I know. I&#39;m really fun and exhausting. David: 12:11 I am I am sounds exhausting. I know. Um yeah, go ahead. Oh god, this is the I&#39;m not cutting this out. I refuse. Um, so we speaking of traveling, Gavin and I just submitted this morning. It is currently 10 58 a.m. We submitted this morning our amazing race audition video. Won&#39;t we be great? We would be really great. We were talking about it. We were like, wouldn&#39;t it be so fun? We should do a video, and then you know, Gavin and I don&#39;t do anything. And then we were like, Gavin was coming into town and we were like, let&#39;s meet up and let&#39;s fucking do this. And we spent a couple of hours running around New York City, harassing people. We got thrown out of the Marriott. Um, we we did a bunch of stuff and we put together a video and we put our application in. So everyone, cross your legs, cross your fingers that we get on this show. How fun to see your Gatriarch&#39;s hosts out there in the world. We we would be fun. Doing all kinds of weird shit. We would be fun. And I think we would have a lot of fun. Now we would be without our phones for a month. Gavin: 13:12 I&#39;m I listen, I&#39;m gonna just carry around only that, I hear I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets caught giving gratitude publicly, Gavin recaps his rich-person&apos;s vacation, we make a plea to our international listener, we run through some gay news, and we are rank our top 3 beach vacation destinations.  Questions? Comments?]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets caught giving gratitude publicly, Gavin recaps his rich-person&apos;s vacation, we make a plea to our international listener, we run through some gay news, and we are rank our top 3 beach vacation destinations.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Listener, this is the cold open where normally I make fun of Gavin for tripping over some word or something. But we forgot to tell you, we just recorded the episode that this is gonna be our first episode of not having a guest sometimes. Gavin: 0:11 Just bantering. I don&#39;t know. David: 0:13 Let us know what you think, listener. But it was fun for us. You guys were so mad at us for saying we were going bi-weekly because it was hard to keep up with all the guests. So we&#39;re do we&#39;re we&#39;re listening to you. And so this is gonna be our first episode. Let us know what you think. Um, it&#39;s a lot of Gavin talking. I&#39;m gonna just go ahead and tell you that up front. Gavin talks quite a bit in this episode, so just make sure you use the 2x version. You can fast forward if you need to. Gavin: 0:36 Which you should be doing anyway. It&#39;ll change your life anyway to listen to podcasts on 1.5x. That&#39;s what I do. Um, and um, and also send us to more guests. We have a bunch of people actually booked and lined up, but um, hey, we want to hear who you want to talk to as well. So send us your friends. And especially the hot ones. David: 0:51 And there&#39;s just patriarchs. Gaben, I&#39;m fearful I&#39;m diluting my brand. Gavin: 1:11 Because you as if you have a brand. David: 1:15 I don&#39;t have many things, but I was on TikTok, and I usually just do what a lot of people do, is just like doom scroll. Maybe I&#39;ll make a TikTok, but like I don&#39;t comment and interact with people usually. Ew. I happen to, I know. I happened to see this video, and there&#39;s this woman, and she was like, tell me something that&#39;s changed your life that you know cost nothing, or something, or some video like that. And I was like, I don&#39;t know, fuck it, I&#39;ll comment. Right. And I commented something very earnest and grateful and sweet. Oh, I&#39;m sure. And gave them it blew up. Wait, it has like 30,000 likes and like my comment went to the top of this video that went viral, and now everyone thinks I&#39;m this grateful, thoughtful, earnest. Gavin: 1:57 Little do they know. You&#39;re just a hollow soul of cynicism. David: 2:02 Empty inside, full of black tar. And I was literally, I had to make a video responding to my own comments. You could see that. Gavin: 2:10 You were doing damage control. David: 2:11 I was literally like for any of you who are following me because of this, please stop. My account is like dick jokes and silly videos and like making fun of parents and whatever. But like, yeah, of course, that&#39;s the comment that fucking blew up. I was like, oh, who is this sensitive soul? Gavin: 2:27 I need some more explanation. What it what was the video? David: 2:30 I basically said I I basically said that that one of the things that like I feel like changed, not changed my life, but you know, was like a great thing that I did was I&#39;ve just started to decide to say the compliments I say to myself in my head out loud. So like other people to yourself in the mirror. Yeah, well, yeah, first to myself and then to other people. Well, the idea was I was having dinner and there was this amazing waitress, and she was like really good and really funny, but like didn&#39;t hang around. Like she was just a great waitress. And I said to my husband, she was so good. God, she&#39;s so good. And then she comes over to give us the bill, and then I shut my mouth. Oh. And I just pay the bill. And then I said to myself, what the fuck are you doing, David? You think this nice thing is? It&#39;s nice to go around spreading joy. Gavin: 3:11 Yeah, I&#39;m sure. David: 3:12 Yeah, but not fake joy, not like, oh, I&#39;m just making shit up and saying everyone looks nice today. Like when you naturally think something positive in your head, say it out loud. And so that was like my comment on this person&#39;s video. And everyone&#39;s like, oh, what a sweet, charming, thoughtful boy. Let&#39;s let&#39;s blow him up. And I&#39;m like, no, no, no, no, guys. Trust me, I am not the place. So anyway, I&#39;m diluting my brand, so I have some damage control. Gavin: 3:36 I love that. You know what? I actually was on a plane last night. I had to do some travel for work, and I got onto the plane, and there was a flight attendant, a woman who was probably in her 60s, who had the most amazing voluptuous hair. I mean like Beyonce hair. You&#39;re welcome. Beyonce hair. You got me. I was I was ready for it. It was the word voluptuous, wasn&#39;t it? It was good. Her hair was just amazing. And I wanted to say, wow, you have amazing hair. And I didn&#39;t. And uh, and then when I got off the plane, I thought I should say it, and then I didn&#39;t. And I&#39;m usually actually, I have no problem giving compliments, and I think that the takeaway from this is one, I was in a crabbing mood last night, maybe. Two, she had amazing voluptuous hair, and three, always tell people that they have voluptuous hair. David: 4:25 There is like a little asterisk of like men complimenting women&#39;s bodies that like maybe we like we don&#39;t do that part of it, but like a great waitress or like somebody who&#39;s funny, or like you know what I mean? Gavin: 4:35 Or if you just precede it with or post uh follow it up with, by the way, I&#39;m gay. David: 4:41 So I&#39;m I&#39;m noticing you and I never compliment each other. Notice that. So let&#39;s all just unpack that a little bit. Gavin: 4:49 So um I was doing some traveling, and um, I far be it for me to get on here and say, Oh my gosh, I had a great vacation. But I hey, we did take some time, we spent more money than we should have, and um we I took the kids, and well, my partner and I took the kids to um the Caribbean. We went to St. John, which was amazing. I highly recommend it. Everything is so expensive. Like, when did life just call me MAGA? When did life get so expensive? Except everything is just expensive, you know, but I suppose that&#39;s vacationing. Anyway, but St. John we went to because um it&#39;s mostly national park, and there are a couple of places that you can actually camp, basically. I mean, it&#39;s kind of like glamping pre-glamping. There&#39;s nothing glamorous at all about it, but it&#39;s a platform with actual beds and a tent, um, and uh which makes it really cheap, actually. So like you can sleep for 250 bucks a night. Um it I mean, you know, better than 800. Um and you&#39;re just steps from the beach, and that was awesome. But um, the reason I suppose here, this prepare yourself for all the gratitude. But it is a matter of hold on, let me sit down. It&#39;s a matter of keeping in mind what what do you get, what do you take away from vacations? You spend so much money to do this, and then you come away being like, Yeah, I just played soccer with my kid and it was fun. And you think, what was the point of that? David: 6:08 That I spent or you&#39;re just looking at like at the clock and you&#39;re like, when do we get good to go back home and sleep in my bed or whatever like that? And you&#39;re like, why are we doing this? Gavin: 6:15 Yes, it really does make you wonder why do we bother? I mean, and especially when kids, especially kids your age, really they just want a pool. So you can go to the Marriott down the street for hopefully less than$185. And and they&#39;re like, that was awesome. You know, that&#39;s I mean, my kids just really still at even at age 11 and 13, they&#39;re fine with just going to a Hampton and with a pool. But I will say, I um I, in my complete insanity, always trying to keep them off their phones, um, which was not too bad at the camping area because there wasn&#39;t great Wi-Fi, thank goodness. But we went a little hike, and that was awesome, even though they complained all the way up. But we got to the top of a mountain and we were there were these ruins, and we I took pictures of them on their phone because there was Wi-Fi at the top of the mountain. So they each immediately pulled their phones out. But you know, we made memories hiking up and hiking down. It was sweaty and hot, and I mean, I wasn&#39;t having fun. Like, why do I do these things that even I&#39;m not having fun, but we do it, right? But yeah, you check it off the list. So we went up hike and then playing soccer on the beach with my kid at sunset. I mean, that&#39;s pretty special. Um, and then um they had a little basketball court, and we pulled my partner who is is incredibly talented and gifted in innumerable ways. But basketball. I see, I can hear the butt coming. Basketball not his jam, nor is it mine, by the way. Disclaimer, I&#39;m terrible and I hate basketball. Uh, too much PTSD about being the tall kid who couldn&#39;t play basketball when he was a kid. But we played a game of horse, you know, and just like shooting the baskets and blah, blah, blah. And it was so fun, the four of us standing around on a basketball court. And that&#39;s our takeaway from this 10-quarters. David: 7:54 Playing basketball and playing soccer on a beach, you could have done for$80 and instead you did it for$80,000. Yes. Why do we do this? Why do we do it? And because I think we have a romantic vision of like the experience and living in this memory or whatever. You can just stop right there. Gavin: 8:09 That&#39;s what parenting is, just a romantic vision of that it&#39;s all gonna be exactly the way it&#39;s a good idea. David: 8:13 But I wonder if it is for them, they&#39;re gonna carry that vision because I have like visions of like amazing vacations in my head, but from my parents&#39; point of view, maybe it was fucking bullshit. Yeah, like one of my fate, one of my my favorite vacation memories, I remember was like at this like cabin alongside a river, uh-huh and we would just like be in the river for hours and hours and hours a day. I wonder if that was like a ghetto, like redneck place that like the real thing had fallen through and whatever. But like, yeah, maybe maybe your kids are loving it. Gavin: 8:41 Did your parents enjoy their time there? I wonder I don&#39;t know. David: 8:45 I don&#39;t consider my parents when I&#39;m a child. Yeah, I know. All I could, you know what I mean? You don&#39;t consider their happiness or their point of view. Yeah, no, it&#39;s so you do now as an adult, but like as a kid, you&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t know, take me to the place I want to go. Gavin: 8:54 I can still hear my mother talking about her favorite times growing up. She grew up in um Illinois and being like, the only summer break or summer vacation we would take is going to Turkey Run in Indiana. And it was just like camping. I mean, that&#39;s what it was. And it was like out in the woods. And it is like that simplicity. Um, why do we do this to ourselves? David: 9:13 You know, because so what is so, but I feel like I feel like I have to push myself as a parent because I am I succumb to the like, uh, it&#39;s just easier to stay in. Let&#39;s just walk to the park. Let&#39;s just like versus like we have some friends that are super outdoorsy. They&#39;re always, hey, do you want to go hiking? Do you want to go camping? And and we&#39;ve just decided to say yes this year. And it&#39;s always great. It&#39;s always fun, it&#39;s always better. But there is this like, we&#39;re gonna have this vacation vision, and if it doesn&#39;t hold true, I&#39;m gonna be pissed. And that&#39;s I think maybe that&#39;s it, is just to let go of any sort of preconceived thoughts. Why are we being so earnest? Say something about dick. Um, dick jokes. Gavin: 9:48 Oh, I do have one. Um, so a guy and his we&#39;ll say husband are um they&#39;re getting ready to go for bed, and one of the husbands is praying, um, his saying his goodnight dreams and whatnot. And the other, uh his husband says, Hey, what are you dreaming about? He said, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m um nope. That I fucked that one. Oh, this is no, I have this is great so far. David: 10:09 This is like the our listener is leaning in, they&#39;re driving down the road, getting ready to giggle. Let me find it. They know what&#39;s coming. Gavin: 10:16 Let me find it. Let me find it. Oh, here we go. A husband says to his husband, I bet you can&#39;t tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time. The other guy thinks about it for a minute and says, Your dick is bigger than your brother&#39;s. David: 10:30 Wait, I I I need to go back a little bit. What did anything you said prior have to do with that particular joke? You said make a dick joke. You said stop being early. No, no, no. I mean you were like praying. Oh, oh, oh, that was the other one. That was the other one. No, no, hold on, hold on. I can give you that one too. No, no, no. I think quit while you&#39;re ahead. That was a good joke. That was funny. Gavin: 10:51 Yeah. This is fine. Hold on, hold on. But this is a poor listener. I know. Where was it? An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, What are you doing? I&#39;m praying for guidance, replies the man. Just pray for stiffness, says the wife, and I&#39;ll guide the fucker. Wow. Wow. Um goodness. Speaking of so then one last thing about um the the illusions I or the delusions I have about vacations is that um I was just constantly ha ragging on my kids about reading, reading a book. I didn&#39;t want to read a book when I was 11 and 13 years old. My favorite thing to do in the entire world, though, is to sit on a beach with an umbrella because skin cancer, reading a book. It&#39;s my it&#39;s it&#39;s just my favorite. And I&#39;m trying to like force feed it to them because I think my I want to have the kids. Did you watch White Lotus? Mm-hmm. I want my kids to be those two judgy, rich, beautiful girls reading first season. First season. Oh, reading like Nietzsche pool side and reading philosophy. Those girls were first of all probably not reading those books. They probably were just had their phones tucked into their books. And they were like college kids. So of course my kids aren&#39;t gonna be like that, but I hope they are when they&#39;re in college. Anyway, yeah. What must it be like to have you as a dad? I know, I know. I&#39;m really fun and exhausting. David: 12:11 I am I am sounds exhausting. I know. Um yeah, go ahead. Oh god, this is the I&#39;m not cutting this out. I refuse. Um, so we speaking of traveling, Gavin and I just submitted this morning. It is currently 10 58 a.m. We submitted this morning our amazing race audition video. Won&#39;t we be great? We would be really great. We were talking about it. We were like, wouldn&#39;t it be so fun? We should do a video, and then you know, Gavin and I don&#39;t do anything. And then we were like, Gavin was coming into town and we were like, let&#39;s meet up and let&#39;s fucking do this. And we spent a couple of hours running around New York City, harassing people. We got thrown out of the Marriott. Um, we we did a bunch of stuff and we put together a video and we put our application in. So everyone, cross your legs, cross your fingers that we get on this show. How fun to see your Gatriarch&#39;s hosts out there in the world. We we would be fun. Doing all kinds of weird shit. We would be fun. And I think we would have a lot of fun. Now we would be without our phones for a month. Gavin: 13:12 I&#39;m I listen, I&#39;m gonna just carry around only that, I hear I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets caught giving gratitude publicly, Gavin recaps his rich-person&apos;s vacation, we make a plea to our international listener, we run through some gay news, and we are rank our top 3 beach vacation destinations.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Listener, this is the cold open where normally I make fun of Gavin for tripping over some word or something. But we forgot to tell you, we just recorded the episode that this is gonna be our first episode of not having a guest sometimes. Gavin: 0:11 Just bantering. I don&#39;t know. David: 0:13 Let us know what you think, listener. But it was fun for us. You guys were so mad at us for saying we were going bi-weekly because it was hard to keep up with all the guests. So we&#39;re do we&#39;re we&#39;re listening to you. And so this is gonna be our first episode. Let us know what you think. Um, it&#39;s a lot of Gavin talking. I&#39;m gonna just go ahead and tell you that up front. Gavin talks quite a bit in this episode, so just make sure you use the 2x version. You can fast forward if you need to. Gavin: 0:36 Which you should be doing anyway. It&#39;ll change your life anyway to listen to podcasts on 1.5x. That&#39;s what I do. Um, and um, and also send us to more guests. We have a bunch of people actually booked and lined up, but um, hey, we want to hear who you want to talk to as well. So send us your friends. And especially the hot ones. David: 0:51 And there&#39;s just patriarchs. Gaben, I&#39;m fearful I&#39;m diluting my brand. Gavin: 1:11 Because you as if you have a brand. David: 1:15 I don&#39;t have many things, but I was on TikTok, and I usually just do what a lot of people do, is just like doom scroll. Maybe I&#39;ll make a TikTok, but like I don&#39;t comment and interact with people usually. Ew. I happen to, I know. I happened to see this video, and there&#39;s this woman, and she was like, tell me something that&#39;s changed your life that you know cost nothing, or something, or some video like that. And I was like, I don&#39;t know, fuck it, I&#39;ll comment. Right. And I commented something very earnest and grateful and sweet. Oh, I&#39;m sure. And gave them it blew up. Wait, it has like 30,000 likes and like my comment went to the top of this video that went viral, and now everyone thinks I&#39;m this grateful, thoughtful, earnest. Gavin: 1:57 Little do they know. You&#39;re just a hollow soul of cynicism. David: 2:02 Empty inside, full of black tar. And I was literally, I had to make a video responding to my own comments. You could see that. Gavin: 2:10 You were doing damage control. David: 2:11 I was literally like for any of you who are following me because of this, please stop. My account is like dick jokes and silly videos and like making fun of parents and whatever. But like, yeah, of course, that&#39;s the comment that fucking blew up. I was like, oh, who is this sensitive soul? Gavin: 2:27 I need some more explanation. What it what was the video? David: 2:30 I basically said I I basically said that that one of the things that like I feel like changed, not changed my life, but you know, was like a great thing that I did was I&#39;ve just started to decide to say the compliments I say to myself in my head out loud. So like other people to yourself in the mirror. Yeah, well, yeah, first to myself and then to other people. Well, the idea was I was having dinner and there was this amazing waitress, and she was like really good and really funny, but like didn&#39;t hang around. Like she was just a great waitress. And I said to my husband, she was so good. God, she&#39;s so good. And then she comes over to give us the bill, and then I shut my mouth. Oh. And I just pay the bill. And then I said to myself, what the fuck are you doing, David? You think this nice thing is? It&#39;s nice to go around spreading joy. Gavin: 3:11 ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets caught giving gratitude publicly, Gavin recaps his rich-person&apos;s vacation, we make a plea to our international listener, we run through some gay news, and we are rank our top 3 beach vacation destinations.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Listener, this is the cold open where normally I make fun of Gavin for tripping over some word or something. But we forgot to tell you, we just recorded the episode that this is gonna be our first episode of not having a guest sometimes. Gavin: 0:11 Just bantering. I don&#39;t know. David: 0:13 Let us know what you think, listener. But it was fun for us. You guys were so mad at us for saying we were going bi-weekly because it was hard to keep up with all the guests. So we&#39;re do we&#39;re we&#39;re listening to you. And so this is gonna be our first episode. Let us know what you think. Um, it&#39;s]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with podcast royalty Patrick Hinds</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-podcast-royalty-patrick-hinds/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is recording out of town so he sounds worse than usual, we get all the shade from our listener, we talk about why being a solo Dad can sometimes be easier, we rank the top 3 dog breeds, and this week we are joined by gay podcasting royalty and all around homosexual Patrick Hinds who opens up about his true-crime podcasting empire, how he changed his mind about becoming a Dad, and why building community is so close to his heart. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Oh yeah, and it&#39;s so boring in real life. So boring. David: 0:02 That was something we&#39;ve learned. Gavin: 0:05 Brilliant. David: 0:06 That is hilarious people who are just boring too. SPEAKER_01: 0:09 It&#39;s gonna be me, I&#39;m telling you. Gavin: 0:10 Yeah, it probably is. Well, let&#39;s lower our standards. David: 0:12 Yeah, yeah, please. On that note, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, I love you because the second we fail, y&#39;all are on our asses. Last week I was talking, or Gabe and I were talking about, we were like, oh, what was the the Scooby-Doo&#39;s band? Gavin: 0:42 It was the the crazy band, the the the car, whatever. I mean, God, my brain has calcified. David: 0:52 The amount of fucking DMs we got of mystery machine. And I was sitting, uh, my husband sometimes will get up early and he&#39;ll like listen to the podcast, but I can hear him listening to it because he listened on the speaker phone. And I heard him literally out loud say, it&#39;s the mystery machine. Like literally out loud. So we get it, y&#39;all. We fucked it up. Thank you. Yes. Gavin: 1:13 We can talk intelligently about some other things. We haven&#39;t figured out what it is yet, uh, but apparently it&#39;s not Scooby-Doo. David: 1:19 That&#39;s which is fine, which is fine. And Gavin, you sound different. Why do you sound different? Gavin: 1:23 I sound different. I&#39;m traveling for work. I&#39;m in fabulous locations, thanks to fabulous friends. But yeah, I&#39;m recording from afar. Which actually reminds me, though, um, I was lucky enough to take a little vacation last week because my kids were um, they have a February break. I love our school district schedule. We have a February break and an April break. It means school goes a little longer in the summer, but I&#39;m like having those two breaks is so great. Now, I will bore our listener and you with details about our trip, maybe or maybe not, whatever. We were lucky to get away. I just felt lucky to get away. But in the process, of course, phones were always an issue. And we were even in an area that didn&#39;t have great phone service. So, when, you know, I mean, I I I don&#39;t believe in embargoes in parenting at all. We were never a no-sugar family, we were never a no Disney family, we are not a no phones family, but I think that everything is within, you know, you&#39;re just a no mom family. David: 2:17 I so not to be embargo. Gavin: 2:21 That is, we are definitely a no mom family. But anyway, um, phones were an issue. My partner&#39;s like, David, you are gonna give yourself a heart attack if you don&#39;t stop obsessing over mainly my daughter&#39;s um phone time. And you she&#39;s not doing anything on it, but blah blah blah. I I probably do need to chill out about it. But anyway, I did go through her phone at one point, which she knows. I have full access to the phone, I pay for the damn thing. I will occasionally look through, and I&#39;ve never found anything. I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m I just want to know what she&#39;s doing a little bit, right? So I go on her phone and I look at her text some text and I say this. David: 3:00 Oh David gasps, David gasps in the audio platform at the visual that Gavin just showed me. Gavin: 3:08 Listen, listener, my daughter has changed my name in her phone to Devil. I thought it was just me. Oh my gosh. Just not even the devil. Also, I want to criticize this. There&#39;s no article ahead of it. Like, am I just devil? I&#39;m not the devil. Also, there&#39;s since there&#39;s no the, but she doesn&#39;t capitalize the D in Devil. I mean, I have so many issues with this, not the least of which is the fact that uh my partner gets his own name, everybody else gets cute nicknames. I&#39;m I have my own cute nickname, apparently. David: 3:46 Okay, wait, you had you brought this up, right? Gavin: 3:48 Yes, I have. And um I I I did one time, I probably brought it up not in the best moment. And I was like, why is that why are you so upset with me? Because I&#39;m the devil, and I smirked at her, and she was like, Were you what? And then she slowly smirked and she was caught red-handed, and she goes, Well, I only did that four months ago and I was mad at you, and I forgot to change it back. And I&#39;m like, you know, I deserve it too. David: 4:16 I&#39;m a tyrant with the phones, but you should have quickly changed her name to like fucking asshole or something like that, and then just been like, Well, two can play at that game. Oh, that&#39;s so messed up. Oh my god. I I I think the access part, like, I&#39;m not there yet. Obviously, my kids are five and three, but I I totally get why you do it, but also I am way too sensitive. If I saw one text that was like, my dad&#39;s a fucking asshole, I would I would pout. I would be, I I don&#39;t know if I can have that much access. I don&#39;t know if I can do it. SPEAKER_04: 4:44 I if she talks badly about me, she&#39;s supposed to. We talk badly about me. David: 4:48 No, I get it totally. Gavin: 4:49 Yeah, she&#39;s absolutely supposed to. I I don&#39;t think I would take things like that personally, and I don&#39;t actually take this series personally. I think it&#39;s funny. SPEAKER_04: 4:57 I I kind of roll my eyes. It is what it is. I think it&#39;s funny. Um she&#39;s supposed to do this, you know. Gavin: 5:05 But no, um I get it. David: 5:08 I I get it. I just I just don&#39;t know if I have the maturity for it. Um, you are traveling for work. My husband was just also traveling for work, which meant I was solo daddy for three whole days. And, you know, it me it brought up something that my husband had said, because I travel a lot more for work than he does, and I&#39;m um gonna be basically away every weekend for the next three months. And he was saying uh one thing that we had agreed on was like when you&#39;re the only dad in the room and you&#39;re the only one parenting, it is both way harder and also way easier to be a parent because you have nobody over your shoulder. Not that my husband is like barking, like looking side eye or whatever, but there is a natural, like if there&#39;s an audience that you&#39;re like, no, we&#39;re going to bed 20 minutes early, or you&#39;re gonna have Bluey later than you should, or whatever it is, it&#39;s you in control. Now it&#39;s also harder because there&#39;s no fucking letting up. You&#39;re doing the laundry, you&#39;re cooking the meals, whatever. But it was a reminder of like sometimes being a solo dad is kind of easier. Gavin: 6:07 Yeah. My partner was away for three months one time, and everybody around, and the kids then were in like kindergarten and preschool, and everybody around was like, Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna be okay? And and um, and I was like, Well, it just is what it is. I I don&#39;t have a choice, so it&#39;s you know, and I mean, I would not want to do this solo. Props and snaps to everybody who does do solo. You are all saints. David: 6:33 Um whether you&#39;re single or you have a partner who just doesn&#39;t do their fair share. I mean, like, but there are I know people in my life who are one, there&#39;s some of those and some of the others, and like yeah, it&#39;s hard. Gavin: 6:45 But you&#39;re exactly right. There&#39;s no miscommunication, there&#39;s no there&#39;s no there&#39;s no negotiation that goes on, and there&#39;s less conflict, and it&#39;s just that becomes easier. David: 6:55 So this is I&#39;m gonna announce my divorce for my husband on this platform. I hope he&#39;s listening. Uh no, I&#39;m not kidding. But I do I do have some helpful information this week. I have a dad hack that is it&#39;s not really a hack, but it is something that&#39;s working for me. So I guess it&#39;s like a personal hack. Um, so I feel like there was a long time where, you know, when the kids are like, oh, I don&#39;t want to brush my teeth or I don&#39;t want to eat this or whatever. That the trick was, the hack was give them two options that both you&#39;re okay with, and it&#39;s like an illusion of choice, right? That has now worn off. My kids are totally seeing through that. I&#39;m like, you can have peas or broccoli. They&#39;re like, fuck you, I want candy, right? Yeah. So what I&#39;ve learned now lately is asking them to join me in figuring out a problem. So I&#39;ll be like, oh God, I just I only have these things for dinner. Like, what should I do? And so when I ask them, like, how do I do something? Will you help me figure this out? They weirdly get excited about figuring it out, but I&#39;ve falsely given them the parameters already. Yeah. Yeah. So if I&#39;m like, oh, I have all of these vegetables, but like I don&#39;t really understand what I should do for dinner. What do you think I should do? Oh man, it fucking works. So asking them, asking them how to do something is the new give them two choices. Gavin: 8:09 And another version of just how parenting is just mind games. We are just manipulating these little impressionable brains to make it easier for us. And also help them make good choices. David: 8:21 Totally. And you know what else is manipulative? I have no idea what our top three lists. Gatriarch, top three lists, three, two, one. Um, this week, for whatever reason, I chose what are the top three dog breeds? I don&#39;t know why I chose this. I was just thinking, I don&#39;t want a dog and kids and dogs. It&#39;s just such a beautiful like marriage. And we have zero yard. We have literally one little deck, and that&#39;s it. So we&#39;ll we can&#39;t have a dog now, but we think about it all the time. So, what are the top three dog breeds? Okay, so for me, I&#39;m here for it. For me, number three, America Golden Retriever. Just classic Americana, nice little shaggy dog, really loving. Uh, number two, this is a personal one. I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re actually good with kids or very friendly, but I think they&#39;re the most beautiful dog is a Siberian husky. I think those little dirty dogs are just so fucking beautiful. They might be monsters in real life, but man, do I want a Siberian husky? And number one, if there is no crossover, I will be very shocked. Although, listen, for Disney week, I was blown out of the water that you there was no crossover. But number one for me, the best dog in the world, consistently Labrador. Just I mean, I&#39;ll tell you right now. Yeah. Gavin: 9:34 Uh yes, spoiler alert, that&#39;s my number one to. That&#39;s my number one. And listen, it is Lab&#39;s a perfect dog. Labs are it is the perfect dog. It&#39;s the perfect family. Just they love you. They just want to be loved. They just don&#39;t, yes. We have a lab mix right now, and she&#39;s she&#39;s my perfect dog. I mean, our last dog was the even perfect dog. We had her for 12 years. She was a great dog. Anyway, life is better with a dog. David: 9:59 Do you ever like your dog a bitch, like non-ironically, to be funny? Because that would be a dad joke I would lean into quite heavily. SPEAKER_04: 10:08 I don&#39;t doubt that at all. She is, I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve ever done that, but I definitely do it with our cat and call her names because she deserves it. Gavin: 10:17 Anyway, so going, um, you know what? I&#39;m gonna change it up today, and I&#39;m gonna give you one, two, three, and I know that drives you nuts, doesn&#39;t it? David: 10:25 It does drive nuts. Gavin: 10:25 But one, yeah, one, a black lab. I would say specifically, I&#39;m a black lab guy, but hey, the chocolates and the yellows are the whites are cute too. But yeah, labs, without a doubt. Yeah. Uh, number two, aussies. That&#39;s what our last dog was, an Australian sheepdow. They&#39;re just, they&#39;re super smart. They&#39;re smaller than labs, so their size is nice. They have really like bushy tails, but they don&#39;t have they have hair, but not too much hair. Oh, she was a great dog. Maddie Madison, she was a great dog. Anyway, aussies are great. They run well, they they they&#39;re just really smart and they want to be with you. It&#39;s really sweet. And I would never have one. So I always have dog envy when I see other people have them. York&#39;s York&#39;s are good. Oh, I love them. David: 11:09 Oh, if we did a top three worst dogs of all time, Yorky, Yorkie would be number one. Oh god, just the hair. The hair is like always, they look like little rats. They bark too much. You can&#39;t cobble with them. They&#39;re just ducks. Gavin: 11:25 Oh I&#39;m not a small dog person, and I never will be, but I think from a distance they&#39;re cute and I like them. I do want to give an honorable shout-out to Bulldogs, though, because bulldogs are just hilarious. And I don&#39;t think there&#39;s enough bulldogs in the world. They&#39;re and I don&#39;t mean French Bulldogs. I mean like a bulldog that looks like it&#39;s in Tennessee and named Beauver T Justice. You know? David: 11:45 Wait, isn&#39;t a Yorkie the kind of dog that Angel Dumont Chouinard killed in Rent? Wasn&#39;t it a Yorkie? SPEAKER_04: 11:54 No, that Akita, Evita, just won&#39;t shut up. I believe if you play non-stop, that pup will breathe this very last death. David: 12:04 I&#39;m certain that girl will bark itself to death. Uh-huh. And a kita, wait. This podcast about two gay men just got gay. Oh my god. And I hope, listen, our guest is Eck is also a super gay podcast host, so I hope he&#39;s appreciating this. Um, okay, that was a great list. What is next week&#39;s list that you definitely have prepared? Gavin: 12:26 Uh-huh. I have I absolutely prepared it. And I want to know your three top beach vacation locations. Our next guest is actually our very first host, a podcaster who&#39;s totally obsessed. Obsessed with social media, obsessed with being a gay icon in the making, obsessed with true crime, obsessed with bad boys and good boys and the golden girls, but most of all, obsessed with being a dad. And he&#39;s hosting us in his studio, so we should sound really good right now. I hope so. Introducing our latest obsession, Patrick Heinz. Patrick! Hi boys! David: 13:06 This is so weird to have to all be in the same room. Gavin and I have only recorded one time ever in our life, and that was episode one. SPEAKER_01: 13:13 I&#39;m wondering, I wonder how, after it&#39;s over, tell me how if it was a different experience. Well, it&#39;s probably gonna be disappointing. Gavin: 13:20 When we have a cigarette, probably disappointment as well. When we have a cigarette, we&#39;ll be able to debrief all of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How were we compared to your last ones? And that&#39;s like I love it. On that note, or not at all, we always love to ask, first of all, how has your kid driven you bonkers today? SPEAKER_01: 13:36 Well, it&#39;s a com it&#39;s a it&#39;s you&#39;re getting a twofer because it&#39;s my husband and my daughter in a in a in a in a twofer. So my daughter um is severely dyslexic and she has ADHD. So um, like, you know, we it&#39;s a long story, but we&#39;ve come to the process of like what is best for her to do her homework, right? And it turns out if we get her up early, a little bit early in the morning and give her her ADHD meds quickly, then give her a little time, then she&#39;s most focused doing her homework in the morning before school. All right. This morning, I had to go to the gym during homework time because I like for whatever reason. Gavin: 14:12 You had a very important podcast you needed to work out. SPEAKER_01: 14:14 And if it was truly, truly, truly. And so I left it to my husband to...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is recording out of town so he sounds worse than usual, we get all the shade from our listener, we talk about why being a solo Dad can sometimes be easier, we rank the top 3 dog breeds, and this week we are joined by gay podcasting royal]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is recording out of town so he sounds worse than usual, we get all the shade from our listener, we talk about why being a solo Dad can sometimes be easier, we rank the top 3 dog breeds, and this week we are joined by gay podcasting royalty and all around homosexual Patrick Hinds who opens up about his true-crime podcasting empire, how he changed his mind about becoming a Dad, and why building community is so close to his heart. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Oh yeah, and it&#39;s so boring in real life. So boring. David: 0:02 That was something we&#39;ve learned. Gavin: 0:05 Brilliant. David: 0:06 That is hilarious people who are just boring too. SPEAKER_01: 0:09 It&#39;s gonna be me, I&#39;m telling you. Gavin: 0:10 Yeah, it probably is. Well, let&#39;s lower our standards. David: 0:12 Yeah, yeah, please. On that note, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, I love you because the second we fail, y&#39;all are on our asses. Last week I was talking, or Gabe and I were talking about, we were like, oh, what was the the Scooby-Doo&#39;s band? Gavin: 0:42 It was the the crazy band, the the the car, whatever. I mean, God, my brain has calcified. David: 0:52 The amount of fucking DMs we got of mystery machine. And I was sitting, uh, my husband sometimes will get up early and he&#39;ll like listen to the podcast, but I can hear him listening to it because he listened on the speaker phone. And I heard him literally out loud say, it&#39;s the mystery machine. Like literally out loud. So we get it, y&#39;all. We fucked it up. Thank you. Yes. Gavin: 1:13 We can talk intelligently about some other things. We haven&#39;t figured out what it is yet, uh, but apparently it&#39;s not Scooby-Doo. David: 1:19 That&#39;s which is fine, which is fine. And Gavin, you sound different. Why do you sound different? Gavin: 1:23 I sound different. I&#39;m traveling for work. I&#39;m in fabulous locations, thanks to fabulous friends. But yeah, I&#39;m recording from afar. Which actually reminds me, though, um, I was lucky enough to take a little vacation last week because my kids were um, they have a February break. I love our school district schedule. We have a February break and an April break. It means school goes a little longer in the summer, but I&#39;m like having those two breaks is so great. Now, I will bore our listener and you with details about our trip, maybe or maybe not, whatever. We were lucky to get away. I just felt lucky to get away. But in the process, of course, phones were always an issue. And we were even in an area that didn&#39;t have great phone service. So, when, you know, I mean, I I I don&#39;t believe in embargoes in parenting at all. We were never a no-sugar family, we were never a no Disney family, we are not a no phones family, but I think that everything is within, you know, you&#39;re just a no mom family. David: 2:17 I so not to be embargo. Gavin: 2:21 That is, we are definitely a no mom family. But anyway, um, phones were an issue. My partner&#39;s like, David, you are gonna give yourself a heart attack if you don&#39;t stop obsessing over mainly my daughter&#39;s um phone time. And you she&#39;s not doing anything on it, but blah blah blah. I I probably do need to chill out about it. But anyway, I did go through her phone at one point, which she knows. I have full access to the phone, I pay for the damn thing. I will occasionally look through, and I&#39;ve never found anything. I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m I just want to know what she&#39;s doing a little bit, right? So I go on her phone and I look at her text some text and I say this. David: 3:00 Oh David gasps, David gasps in the audio platform at the visual that Gavin just showed me. Gavin: 3:08 Listen, listener, my daughter has changed my name in her phone to Devil. I thought it was just me. Oh my gosh. Just not even the devil. Also, I want to criticize this. There&#39;s no article ahead of it. Like, am I just devil? I&#39;m not the devil. Also, there&#39;s since there&#39;s no the, but she doesn&#39;t capitalize the D in Devil. I mean, I have so many issues with this, not the least of which is the fact that uh my partner gets his own name, everybody else gets cute nicknames. I&#39;m I have my own cute nickname, apparently. David: 3:46 Okay, wait, you had you brought this up, right? Gavin: 3:48 Yes, I have. And um I I I did one time, I probably brought it up not in the best moment. And I was like, why is that why are you so upset with me? Because I&#39;m the devil, and I smirked at her, and she was like, Were you what? And then she slowly smirked and she was caught red-handed, and she goes, Well, I only did that four months ago and I was mad at you, and I forgot to change it back. And I&#39;m like, you know, I deserve it too. David: 4:16 I&#39;m a tyrant with the phones, but you should have quickly changed her name to like fucking asshole or something like that, and then just been like, Well, two can play at that game. Oh, that&#39;s so messed up. Oh my god. I I I think the access part, like, I&#39;m not there yet. Obviously, my kids are five and three, but I I totally get why you do it, but also I am way too sensitive. If I saw one text that was like, my dad&#39;s a fucking asshole, I would I would pout. I would be, I I don&#39;t know if I can have that much access. I don&#39;t know if I can do it. SPEAKER_04: 4:44 I if she talks badly about me, she&#39;s supposed to. We talk badly about me. David: 4:48 No, I get it totally. Gavin: 4:49 Yeah, she&#39;s absolutely supposed to. I I don&#39;t think I would take things like that personally, and I don&#39;t actually take this series personally. I think it&#39;s funny. SPEAKER_04: 4:57 I I kind of roll my eyes. It is what it is. I think it&#39;s funny. Um she&#39;s supposed to do this, you know. Gavin: 5:05 But no, um I get it. David: 5:08 I I get it. I just I just don&#39;t know if I have the maturity for it. Um, you are traveling for work. My husband was just also traveling for work, which meant I was solo daddy for three whole days. And, you know, it me it brought up something that my husband had said, because I travel a lot more for work than he does, and I&#39;m um gonna be basically away every weekend for the next three months. And he was saying uh one thing that we had agreed on was like when you&#39;re the only dad in the room and you&#39;re the only one parenting, it is both way harder and also way easier to be a parent because you have nobody over your shoulder. Not that my husband is like barking, like looking side eye or whatever, but there is a natural, like if there&#39;s an audience that you&#39;re like, no, we&#39;re going to bed 20 minutes early, or you&#39;re gonna have Bluey later than you should, or whatever it is, it&#39;s you in control. Now it&#39;s also harder because there&#39;s no fucking letting up. You&#39;re doing the laundry, you&#39;re cooking the meals, whatever. But it was a reminder of like sometimes being a solo dad is kind of easier. Gavin: 6:07 Yeah. My partner was away for three months one time, and everybody around, and the kids then were in like kindergarten and preschool, and everybody around was like, Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna be okay? And and um, and I was like, Well, it just is what it is. I I don&#39;t have a choice, so it&#39;s you know, and I mean, I would not want to do this solo. Props and snaps to everybody who does do solo. You are all saints. David: 6:33 Um whether you&#39;re single or you have a partner who just doesn&#39;t do their fair share. I mean, like, but there are I know people in my life who are one, there&#39;s some of those and some of the others, and like yeah, it&#39;s hard. Gavin: 6:45 But you&#39;re exactly right. There&#39;s no miscommunication, there&#39;s no there&#39;s no there&#39;s no negotiation that goes on, and there&#39;s less conflict, and it&#39;s just that becomes easier. David: 6:55 So this is I&#39;m gonna announce my divorce for my husband on this platform. I hope he&#39;s listening. Uh no, I&#39;m not kidding. But I do I do have some helpful information this week. I have a dad hack that is it&#39;s not really a hack, but it is something that&#39;s working for me. So I guess it&#39;s like a personal hack. Um, so I feel like there was a long time where, you know, when the kids are like, oh, I don&#39;t want to brush my teeth or I don&#39;t want to eat this or whatever. That the trick was, the hack was give them two options that both you&#39;re okay with, and it&#39;s like an illusion of choice, right? That has now worn off. My kids are totally seeing through that. I&#39;m like, you can have peas or broccoli. They&#39;re like, fuck you, I want candy, right? Yeah. So what I&#39;ve learned now lately is asking them to join me in figuring out a problem. So I&#39;ll be like, oh God, I just I only have these things for dinner. Like, what should I do? And so when I ask them, like, how do I do something? Will you help me figure this out? They weirdly get excited about figuring it out, but I&#39;ve falsely given them the parameters already. Yeah. Yeah. So if I&#39;m like, oh, I have all of these vegetables, but like I don&#39;t really understand what I should do for dinner. What do you think I should do? Oh man, it fucking works. So asking them, asking them how to do something is the new give them two choices. Gavin: 8:09 And another version of just how parenting is just mind games. We are just manipulating these little impressionable brains to make it easier for us. And also help them make good choices. David: 8:21 Totally. And you know what else is manipulative? I have no idea what our top three lists. Gatriarch, top three lists, three, two, one. Um, this week, for whatever reason, I chose what are the top three dog breeds? I don&#39;t know why I chose this. I was just thinking, I don&#39;t want a dog and kids and dogs. It&#39;s just such a beautiful like marriage. And we have zero yard. We have literally one little deck, and that&#39;s it. So we&#39;ll we can&#39;t have a dog now, but we think about it all the time. So, what are the top three dog breeds? Okay, so for me, I&#39;m here for it. For me, number three, America Golden Retriever. Just classic Americana, nice little shaggy dog, really loving. Uh, number two, this is a personal one. I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re actually good with kids or very friendly, but I think they&#39;re the most beautiful dog is a Siberian husky. I think those little dirty dogs are just so fucking beautiful. They might be monsters in real life, but man, do I want a Siberian husky? And number one, if there is no crossover, I will be very shocked. Although, listen, for Disney week, I was blown out of the water that you there was no crossover. But number one for me, the best dog in the world, consistently Labrador. Just I mean, I&#39;ll tell you right now. Yeah. Gavin: 9:34 Uh yes, spoiler alert, that&#39;s my number one to. That&#39;s my number one. And listen, it is Lab&#39;s a perfect dog. Labs are it is the perfect dog. It&#39;s the perfect family. Just they love you. They just want to be loved. They just don&#39;t, yes. We have a lab mix right now, and she&#39;s she&#39;s my perfect dog. I mean, our last dog was the even perfect dog. We had her for 12 years. She was a great dog. Anyway, life is better with a dog. David: 9:59 Do you ever like your dog a bitch, like non-ironically, to be funny? Because that would be a dad joke I would lean into quite heavily. SPEAKER_04: 10:08 I don&#39;t doubt that at all. She is, I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve ever done that, but I definitely do it with our cat and call her names because she deserves it. Gavin: 10:17 Anyway, so going, um, you know what? I&#39;m gonna change it up today, and I&#39;m gonna give you one, two, three, and I know that drives you nuts, doesn&#39;t it? David: 10:25 It does drive nuts. Gavin: 10:25 But one, yeah, one, a black lab. I would say specifically, I&#39;m a black lab guy, but hey, the chocolates and the yellows are the whites are cute too. But yeah, labs, without a doubt. Yeah. Uh, number two, aussies. That&#39;s what our last dog was, an Australian sheepdow. They&#39;re just, they&#39;re super smart. They&#39;re smaller than labs, so their size is nice. They have really like bushy tails, but they don&#39;t have they have hair, but not too much hair. Oh, she was a great dog. Maddie Madison, she was a great dog. Anyway, aussies are great. They run well, they they they&#39;re just really smart and they want to be with you. It&#39;s really sweet. And I would never have one. So I always have dog envy when I see other people have them. York&#39;s York&#39;s are good. Oh, I love them. David: 11:09 Oh, if we did a top three worst dogs of all time, Yorky, Yorkie would be number one. Oh god, just the hair. The hair is like always, they look like little rats. They bark too much. You can&#39;t cobble with them. They&#39;re just ducks. Gavin: 11:25 Oh I&#39;m not a small dog person, and I never will be, but I think from a distance they&#39;re cute and I like them. I do want to give an honorable shout-out to Bulldogs, though, because bulldogs are just hilarious. And I don&#39;t think there&#39;s enough bulldogs in the world. They&#39;re and I don&#39;t mean French Bulldogs. I mean like a bulldog that looks like it&#39;s in Tennessee and named Beauver T Justice. You know? David: 11:45 Wait, isn&#39;t a Yorkie the kind of dog that Angel Dumont Chouinard killed in Rent? Wasn&#39;t it a Yorkie? SPEAKER_04: 11:54 No, that Akita, Evita, just won&#39;t shut up. I believe if you play non-stop, that pup will breathe this very last death. David: 12:04 I&#39;m certain that girl will bark itself to death. Uh-huh. And a kita, wait. This podcast about two gay men just got gay. Oh my god. And I hope, listen, our guest is Eck is also a super gay podcast host, so I hope he&#39;s appreciating this. Um, okay, that was a great list. What is next week&#39;s list that you definitely have prepared? Gavin: 12:26 Uh-huh. I have I absolutely prepared it. And I want to know your three top beach vacation locations. Our next guest is actually our very first host, a podcaster who&#39;s totally obsessed. Obsessed with social media, obsessed with being a gay icon in the making, obsessed with true crime, obsessed with bad boys and good boys and the golden girls, but most of all, obsessed with being a dad. And he&#39;s hosting us in his studio, so we should sound really good right now. I hope so. Introducing our latest obsession, Patrick Heinz. Patrick! Hi boys! David: 13:06 This is so weird to have to all be in the same room. Gavin and I have only recorded one time ever in our life, and that was episode one. SPEAKER_01: 13:13 I&#39;m wondering, I wonder how, after it&#39;s over, tell me how if it was a different experience. Well, it&#39;s probably gonna be disappointing. Gavin: 13:20 When we have a cigarette, probably disappointment as well. When we have a cigarette, we&#39;ll be able to debrief all of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How were we compared to your last ones? And that&#39;s like I love it. On that note, or not at all, we always love to ask, first of all, how has your kid driven you bonkers today? SPEAKER_01: 13:36 Well, it&#39;s a com it&#39;s a it&#39;s you&#39;re getting a twofer because it&#39;s my husband and my daughter in a in a in a in a twofer. So my daughter um is severely dyslexic and she has ADHD. So um, like, you know, we it&#39;s a long story, but we&#39;ve come to the process of like what is best for her to do her homework, right? And it turns out if we get her up early, a little bit early in the morning and give her her ADHD meds quickly, then give her a little time, then she&#39;s most focused doing her homework in the morning before school. All right. This morning, I had to go to the gym during homework time because I like for whatever reason. Gavin: 14:12 You had a very important podcast you needed to work out. SPEAKER_01: 14:14 And if it was truly, truly, truly. And so I left it to my husband to...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is recording out of town so he sounds worse than usual, we get all the shade from our listener, we talk about why being a solo Dad can sometimes be easier, we rank the top 3 dog breeds, and this week we are joined by gay podcasting royalty and all around homosexual Patrick Hinds who opens up about his true-crime podcasting empire, how he changed his mind about becoming a Dad, and why building community is so close to his heart. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Oh yeah, and it&#39;s so boring in real life. So boring. David: 0:02 That was something we&#39;ve learned. Gavin: 0:05 Brilliant. David: 0:06 That is hilarious people who are just boring too. SPEAKER_01: 0:09 It&#39;s gonna be me, I&#39;m telling you. Gavin: 0:10 Yeah, it probably is. Well, let&#39;s lower our standards. David: 0:12 Yeah, yeah, please. On that note, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is Gatriarchs. Listener, I love you because the second we fail, y&#39;all are on our asses. Last week I was talking, or Gabe and I were talking about, we were like, oh, what was the the Scooby-Doo&#39;s band? Gavin: 0:42 It was the the crazy band, the the the car, whatever. I mean, God, my brain has calcified. David: 0:52 The amount of fucking DMs we got of mystery machine. And I was sitting, uh, my husband sometimes will get up early and he&#39;ll like listen to the podcast, but I can hear him listening to it because he listened on the speaker phone. And I heard him literally out loud say, it&#39;s the mystery machine. Like literally out loud. So we get it, y&#39;all. We fucked it up. Thank you. Yes. Gavin: 1:13 We can talk intelligently about some other things. We haven&#39;t figured out what it is yet, uh, but apparently it&#39;s not Scooby-Doo. David: 1:19 That&#39;s which is fine, which is fine. And Gavin, you sound different. Why do you sound different? Gavin: 1:23 I sound different. I&#39;m traveling for work. I&#39;m in fabulous locations, thanks to fabulous friends. But yeah, I&#39;m recording from afar. Which actually reminds me, though, um, I was lucky enough to take a little vacation last week because my kids were um, they have a February break. I love our school district schedule. We have a February break and an April break. It means school goes a little longer in the summer, but I&#39;m like having those two breaks is so great. Now, I will bore our listener and you with details about our trip, maybe or maybe not, whatever. We were lucky to get away. I just felt lucky to get away. But in the process, of course, phones were always an issue. And we were even in an area that didn&#39;t have great phone service. So, when, you know, I mean, I I I don&#39;t believe in embargoes in parenting at all. We were never a no-sugar family, we were never a no Disney family, we are not a no phones family, but I think that everything is within, you know, you&#39;re just a no mom family. David: 2:17 I so not to be embargo. Gavin: 2:21 That is, we are definitely a no mom family. But anyway, um, phones were an issue. My partner&#39;s like, David, you are gonna give yourself a heart attack if you don&#39;t stop obsessing over mainly my daughter&#39;s um phone time. And you she&#39;s not doing anything on it, but blah blah blah. I I probably do need to chill out about it. But anyway, I did go through her phone at one point, which she knows. I have full access to the phone, I pay for the damn thing. I will occasionally look through, and I&#39;ve never found anything. I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m I just want to know what she&#39;s doing a little bit, right? So I go on her phone and I look at her text some text and I say this. David: 3:00 Oh David gasps, David gasps in the audio platform at the visual that Gavin just showed me. Gavin: 3:08 Listen, listener, my daughter has changed my name in her phone to Devil. I thought it was just me. Oh my gosh. Just ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is recording out of town so he sounds worse than usual, we get all the shade from our listener, we talk about why being a solo Dad can sometimes be easier, we rank the top 3 dog breeds, and this week we are joined by gay podcasting royalty and all around homosexual Patrick Hinds who opens up about his true-crime podcasting empire, how he changed his mind about becoming a Dad, and why building community is so close to his heart. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Oh yeah, and it&#39;s so boring in real life. So boring. David: 0:02 That was something we&#39;ve learned. Gavin: 0:05 Brilliant. David: 0:06 That is hilarious people who are just boring too. SPEAKER_01: 0:09 It&#39;s gonna be me, I&#39;m telling you. Gavin: 0:10 Yeah, it probably is. Well, let&#39;s lower our standards. David: 0:12 Yeah, yeah, please. On that note, yeah, yeah, yeah. A]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with attorney Mark Hsu</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-attorney-mark-hsu/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it&apos;s weird 2 parents don&apos;t do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, &#34;A Moment of Aww,&#34; we rank the top 3 hottest cartoon characters, and this week we are joined by attorney and fellow Dad Mark Hsu, author of the book &#34;Please Open in the Event of My Death &#8211; A Father&apos;s Advice to His Daughters In Case Something Horrible Happens (Which Hopefully It Won&apos;t But Just in Case&#8230;).&#34; By the title alone, we know he&apos;s a Gaytriarch. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five-star review review. Please leave us a glowing five-star review. Why is it hard to say five-star review suddenly? David: 0:11 Because it&#39;s 11:33 a.m. and you&#39;ve probably been drinking. And this is day jury. Gavin: 0:31 So, David, my back hurts. My back hurts. My muscles hurt. My shoulders hurt. My arms hurt. Everything hurts. SPEAKER_02: 0:40 Your back was mouth crack. Gavin: 0:45 Everything hurts. Everything hurts. It cracks. But and by crack, I mean everything feels like it&#39;s cracking. Because we&#39;ve had some fun weather here recently, haven&#39;t we? Yeah, a lot of snow. I mean, if it&#39;s going to be cold, please give me snow. And also that it&#39;s a sort of sort of. Good snow, too. David: 1:01 Like if you&#39;ve never lived in snow listener, I will tell you that like there&#39;s good snow and there&#39;s bad snow. And then there&#39;s like middle of the road snow. But like good snow is like fluffy and powdery, and you get to play and do something. The worst snow is the kind that melts a little bit and then immediately freezes. Yeah. Gavin: 1:16 Which is usually what I find to be New York, New Jersey snow. Everything, everything about it sucks. So we&#39;ve had really good snow of late. And the other day, my kids um went sledding and they had a just a gay old time, right? And um, and I, of course, was like, well, I&#39;m not gonna just stand around and watch it the entire time. But I&#39;m like, I probably have two runs in me. So in our town, the country club, to my utter shock, allows kids, it&#39;s the best sledding in town. And I cannot believe they have not shut it down because there are some trees that inevitably somebody hits. And then, of course, just like, you know, in general, kids are hitting each other. And wait, is this a country club? David: 1:55 You&#39;re a member of no, no, that&#39;s the thing. Gavin: 1:57 It&#39;s okay. The town just shows up and we all go to the country club. I&#39;m not a member, uh, not at all. Although I do think that the country club should get some of its bougie members to sell$5 hot chocolate with a$3 shot, and I would pay it right there. I I absolutely would. Just skip the hot chocolate, by the way. But anyway, so I&#39;m standing there, and my 11-year-old son now can&#39;t just sled. He has to build a jump, right? Yeah, of course. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And I&#39;m like, you know, when your kid is not an Einstein, when they have they have no ability to step back and think, plan out what kind of jump are we building, right? Instead, their idea is they have to have the swoopiest of swoops to go straight up into the air, not out and catch air. We&#39;re on a hill, after all. You know, you&#39;re gonna catch air. No, they have to swoop up and then they inevitably do a face plant, their backs crack. David: 2:50 They want to break the most amount of bones. The most amount of bones. Gavin: 2:54 So so I want you to spoiler, I did not go off the jump. I absolutely refuse to really hoping. No, no, no. I know I know my limits. And just the two runs that I did not on jumps made everything hurt. But also, I would stand there and my back would hurt watching them do it because I just thought, oh God, there goes a soccer career. And me standing there for two hours just shooting the shit with people. Now, admittedly, I love to shoot the shit with people. I love soccer sidelines, I love sledding, but you stand there in the cold shivering, and your whole body hurts after a while. And so I&#39;m so old that I&#39;m just everything hurts from shivering. But it was fun to watch my um son actually kind of like playing with the girls too, because they got into a um a snowball fight with boys versus girls, which I mean he&#39;s getting to that age now where 100%. 100% and they were having such a good time. David: 3:51 Have you told him you&#39;re disappointed in him for not being gay? He already knows. Gavin: 3:57 The way you groomed him. He already sees the disappointment in my face every single day. David: 4:02 Oh man, I there&#39;s something there there is if if you&#39;ve watched the um the little b-roll 30-second trailer we&#39;ve made for Gay Triox, which I&#39;m sure all of you have, it&#39;s pinned at the top of our Instagram profile. One of the videos is Gavin jumping on a trampoline and then hurting his back. Yeah. Yeah. Now we we admittedly we staged, but from real experience. Gavin: 4:22 But from real experience, absolutely. I yeah, so yeah. So I went down the hill a couple of times uh in front of all of those adults. That&#39;s the other thing, too, is you know, if you go down, they&#39;re all watching to be like, who is that old man? And how long is it gonna take him to stand up? Because it is so hard to stand up from a sled, and basically you just roll over, like and you&#39;re trying to impress the parents too. David: 4:45 You&#39;re like, no, I&#39;m really young and beautiful and urile, and yeah, I&#39;m ready to go. You&#39;re not gonna let them see how bad how badly I hurt. Gavin: 4:52 Yeah, you try to jump up as fast as possible because there&#39;s really no way of doing it without being Humpty Dumpty rolling out of the sled. And then having like you can&#39;t just put what you can&#39;t stand up quickly. David: 5:03 It&#39;s so it&#39;s like getting out of a hammock. There&#39;s no sexy way out of it. There&#39;s no sexy way to get out of a hammock. Gavin: 5:09 I think sleds and hammocks. I think you&#39;re exactly right about that. David: 5:11 Honestly, the fact that you didn&#39;t end up in the hospital is a plus and minor. Gavin: 5:15 Tell me about it. Yeah, tell me about the only the only casualty was that my hat flew off a few times because I was wearing a baseball hat, uh, which is uh brings up a whole host of other things. Why were you just wearing a baseball hat? Anyway, anyway, it was I live for sledding days. It is very fun. But boy, I&#39;m old. David: 5:33 It is really fun. Um, speaking of hospitals and breaking your bones, I have an apology to our listener. Last episode, when I was talking about my butt stuff, my colonoscopy and my endoscopy, I realized I said, yeah, once you&#39;re 45, you have to have them every year. That is a lie. A lie. Gavin: 5:50 That is not misinformation. David: 5:52 Once every 10 years, I think I was just excited about getting strangers in my butt once a year. And so I said once every I know everyone is coming, our listener is coming to us for their medical advice, but it is not once every year. It is once every year. Gavin: 6:08 We are, after all, thank you for re-establishing our integrity as America&#39;s finest news source. And we cop to it when we&#39;ve made a mistake. But also, can you be blamed for wanting, you know, some stranger butt stuff once a year? David: 6:20 I mean, if that&#39;s yeah, you can&#39;t. I mean, if you&#39;re into like medical play, this is the place to go. Um, I did have to pay the bill came due today, and it was so obscene how much it cost me. Wow. Anyway, I&#39;m not even gonna say the number because it hurts me. Gavin: 6:35 Right. Weird that Gatriarchs doesn&#39;t um offer health insurance, huh? David: 6:38 Does it offer? Can you imagine if we offered health insurance? Um someday, baby, someday. Someday. I uh one thing I wanted to bring up, but this is just like one of those like thought experiment-y like gay dads versus straight dads thing. Okay. Have you noticed in your it uh school life or even just like regular life with your kids that you are the only parent who comes with both parents to things? Like, for example, when we go to walk my son to the bus in the morning, it&#39;s three blocks away from our house. It&#39;s always me and my husband, and we always bring our daughter with us, and we all go as a family, we drop him off, we all go back. Um, same thing when we go pick him up from school, we me and my husband go together. We are a hundred percent of the time the only two-parent family picking people up. Now, I it&#39;s mostly the moms, but is is that a number one, is that crazy? B, is that something you do or notice? Gavin: 7:34 One, yes, you are crazy. I believe, yeah. I I think this is you being oh, yeah. It&#39;s so cute. Our kitty goes to school. This is clearly a case of my child is in kindergarten, just you wait, eventually you won&#39;t give a shit anymore, and you&#39;ll be like, I ain&#39;t nobody got time for this. David: 7:54 But there&#39;s other kindergartners there. Yes. Gavin: 7:56 You&#39;re the only one who does this. You are number two is you&#39;re the only one who does this. Uh my partner and I, we team, we tag team the first day of school and the last day of school just for nostalgia&#39;s sake. And in between, it is absolutely a situation of not it. Oh wow. Not it. David: 8:14 But but even this is this happens at daycare too. When I drop my daughter off at daycare, 100% of the parents, it&#39;s one parent walking everyone in. Gavin: 8:22 Yes. That is logical. David: 8:24 So I&#39;m the problem. Yes. That&#39;s me. You are crazy. You&#39;re the I thought this was like a straight gate thing. You&#39;re saying it&#39;s a David versus the world thing. Gavin: 8:31 It it is absolutely you are at the center of it all. And I appreciate that you&#39;re not like shaming the rest of us who have better things to do with our time than you and your husband, because you two are giving way too much time to drop off and pick up. But it&#39;s yes, it&#39;s adorable. I agree with you. And I think you&#39;re you&#39;re creating memories and fostering a wonderful child in that process who will not grow up to be an axe murderer. David: 8:55 I will say on the days that like I&#39;m too busy to like if like my husband just gets the kids by himself. It&#39;s lovely. It&#39;s real nice to just be at home and then children arrive. Oh man, yeah, it&#39;s really nice. Gavin: 9:09 You have seven minutes of silence to yourself? David: 9:11 Yeah. Gavin: 9:13 Yeah. I can&#39;t believe that this is a scenario. Yeah, I can&#39;t believe this is a scenario that you have brought up that is a surprise. David: 9:20 That&#39;s a shock to me. Well, I think there&#39;s something going on in the air because I&#39;ve also noticed my TikTok algorithm changing. And now I&#39;m getting all of these fucking videos of these parents doing this thing where they go, someday it&#39;s like a woman and she&#39;s like in the front seat of her car, and she&#39;s like, oh man, I&#39;m so annoyed by my kids being so loud on the backseat. And then like the woman turns and it cuts to the backseat and it&#39;s empty. It&#39;s like, and someday you&#39;ll wish they were still back. You know, it&#39;s one of those fucking things. But my whole feed has become this like, just you wait, you&#39;re gonna miss these days, you&#39;re gonna miss it when it&#39;s gone. So much just you waiting. And listener, if you&#39;ve ever listened to the show before, which you hopefully haven&#39;t, you know, I this is one of my the biggest things stuck in my craw, is this like, oh, you you better enjoy it while you&#39;re there. And the total fucking disconnect older older parents have with this. They think, oh, you&#39;re just not enjoying these lovely extra cuddles at night or the extra time they want water. It&#39;s not that, it&#39;s fucking war, and you&#39;re drowning in it, and you&#39;re from 12 years later cherry-picking these beautiful fake memories that don&#39;t exist and be like, oh, I wish you would just sit. Gavin: 10:26 You&#39;re rewriting history. No, I completely agree, and it is a fact. Time speeds up and you miss it and you look back, but you&#39;re only looking, you you don&#39;t you do not recall. It is a human element of survival that you do not recall all of the war times and the the foxholes that you&#39;re in with diapers and complete sleep deprivation. No, nobody wants to go go back to that. That&#39;s why you hope for grandkids and then you have grandkids and you hand them over, I suppose. Oh my god, we&#39;re talking about grandkids. David: 10:57 No, but I mean that I think that&#39;s maybe the secret to unlocking all of this is just get older and have grandkids. Gavin: 11:02 Yes. But the whole like forcing us our nostalgia and feeling bad about it, I&#39;m just not here for that. David: 11:08 It&#39;s like trying to fix the future nostalgia by by by get by enjoying the extra cuddles now. So when you&#39;re older, you won&#39;t miss the extra cuddles. We have already talked about this. You&#39;re going to miss them regardless. Yes, try to be present, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like the only solution here is to bottle it up, and that can&#39;t happen. And so let&#39;s just fucking let it go. Gavin: 11:28 Um and come on to a podcast where we complain about our children and how much we love them. David: 11:33 So there you go. Nonstop. And to uh uh I&#39;d like to add to our podcast a new segment of considerable. SPEAKER_01: 11:41 Oh great. David: 11:42 And in true Gatriarch&#39;s fashion, I&#39;m gonna be a total hypocrite and totally about face with what I was just saying. So now our Gatriarch&#39;s premier segment, a moment of awe. So this was my I&#39;ve flabbergasted it. This is so much hashtag gratitude. So much, okay. But wait, this is my way of cat like isolating these moments of like gratitude and like softness, I feel, because I&#39;m supposed to be the hard ass asshole who talks dick jokes all the time. Right. But I I need to like let some of the niceness out every once in a while. So I&#39;m gonna force it into this little category called a moment of awe. Uh-huh. And that way we can just kind of get it out there and it won&#39;t feel as uh disgusting and stickly soft. Okay. So something I&#39;ve noticed, and you will, I&#39;m sure, uh, agree with this, is that when you know, we hug our kids a lot. I pick up my kids, they hug me, I grab them, you know, kicking and screaming from the toys or us, but like you hold your kids a lot from when they&#39;re babies and you know, as long as you can hold them. And what I&#39;m noticing a lot now, I mean, you notice it as it happens, but really a lot with my five-year-old, is how their bodies, as they get bigger, I can&#39;t hold them the same way. I have to, my arms have to go in different places and my arms get tired at different places. Gavin: 12:58 You&#39;re already calculating how soon can you put them down because you don&#39;t have the strength anymore? David: 13:02 Because you&#39;re 48 pounds, bro. Like, I can&#39;t carry you 10 bucks. But also, like how, like, you know, when you get want to get them really close in the in the nook of your neck, but like you can&#39;t really because they&#39;re too big now, and they&#39;re weird, fucking lumpy shoulder blades are in the it was just one of these moments I was like, oh my god, like this is they&#39;re getting bigger, which is so fucking stupid to say. I know, but it is the physically holding them and hugging them is changing, and that is really fucking weird and sweet and all the things. Gavin: 13:30 I appreciate that you say you are noticing it as you go along because it&#39;s this is so one of those cases of suddenly you turn around and you think, when was the last time I actually held my child? When was the last time I picked them up? Because there does come a time. I don&#39;t know when was the last time I picked up my son....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it&apos;s weird 2 parents don&apos;t do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, &#34;A Moment of Aww,&#34; we rank the ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it&apos;s weird 2 parents don&apos;t do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, &#34;A Moment of Aww,&#34; we rank the top 3 hottest cartoon characters, and this week we are joined by attorney and fellow Dad Mark Hsu, author of the book &#34;Please Open in the Event of My Death &#8211; A Father&apos;s Advice to His Daughters In Case Something Horrible Happens (Which Hopefully It Won&apos;t But Just in Case&#8230;).&#34; By the title alone, we know he&apos;s a Gaytriarch. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five-star review review. Please leave us a glowing five-star review. Why is it hard to say five-star review suddenly? David: 0:11 Because it&#39;s 11:33 a.m. and you&#39;ve probably been drinking. And this is day jury. Gavin: 0:31 So, David, my back hurts. My back hurts. My muscles hurt. My shoulders hurt. My arms hurt. Everything hurts. SPEAKER_02: 0:40 Your back was mouth crack. Gavin: 0:45 Everything hurts. Everything hurts. It cracks. But and by crack, I mean everything feels like it&#39;s cracking. Because we&#39;ve had some fun weather here recently, haven&#39;t we? Yeah, a lot of snow. I mean, if it&#39;s going to be cold, please give me snow. And also that it&#39;s a sort of sort of. Good snow, too. David: 1:01 Like if you&#39;ve never lived in snow listener, I will tell you that like there&#39;s good snow and there&#39;s bad snow. And then there&#39;s like middle of the road snow. But like good snow is like fluffy and powdery, and you get to play and do something. The worst snow is the kind that melts a little bit and then immediately freezes. Yeah. Gavin: 1:16 Which is usually what I find to be New York, New Jersey snow. Everything, everything about it sucks. So we&#39;ve had really good snow of late. And the other day, my kids um went sledding and they had a just a gay old time, right? And um, and I, of course, was like, well, I&#39;m not gonna just stand around and watch it the entire time. But I&#39;m like, I probably have two runs in me. So in our town, the country club, to my utter shock, allows kids, it&#39;s the best sledding in town. And I cannot believe they have not shut it down because there are some trees that inevitably somebody hits. And then, of course, just like, you know, in general, kids are hitting each other. And wait, is this a country club? David: 1:55 You&#39;re a member of no, no, that&#39;s the thing. Gavin: 1:57 It&#39;s okay. The town just shows up and we all go to the country club. I&#39;m not a member, uh, not at all. Although I do think that the country club should get some of its bougie members to sell$5 hot chocolate with a$3 shot, and I would pay it right there. I I absolutely would. Just skip the hot chocolate, by the way. But anyway, so I&#39;m standing there, and my 11-year-old son now can&#39;t just sled. He has to build a jump, right? Yeah, of course. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And I&#39;m like, you know, when your kid is not an Einstein, when they have they have no ability to step back and think, plan out what kind of jump are we building, right? Instead, their idea is they have to have the swoopiest of swoops to go straight up into the air, not out and catch air. We&#39;re on a hill, after all. You know, you&#39;re gonna catch air. No, they have to swoop up and then they inevitably do a face plant, their backs crack. David: 2:50 They want to break the most amount of bones. The most amount of bones. Gavin: 2:54 So so I want you to spoiler, I did not go off the jump. I absolutely refuse to really hoping. No, no, no. I know I know my limits. And just the two runs that I did not on jumps made everything hurt. But also, I would stand there and my back would hurt watching them do it because I just thought, oh God, there goes a soccer career. And me standing there for two hours just shooting the shit with people. Now, admittedly, I love to shoot the shit with people. I love soccer sidelines, I love sledding, but you stand there in the cold shivering, and your whole body hurts after a while. And so I&#39;m so old that I&#39;m just everything hurts from shivering. But it was fun to watch my um son actually kind of like playing with the girls too, because they got into a um a snowball fight with boys versus girls, which I mean he&#39;s getting to that age now where 100%. 100% and they were having such a good time. David: 3:51 Have you told him you&#39;re disappointed in him for not being gay? He already knows. Gavin: 3:57 The way you groomed him. He already sees the disappointment in my face every single day. David: 4:02 Oh man, I there&#39;s something there there is if if you&#39;ve watched the um the little b-roll 30-second trailer we&#39;ve made for Gay Triox, which I&#39;m sure all of you have, it&#39;s pinned at the top of our Instagram profile. One of the videos is Gavin jumping on a trampoline and then hurting his back. Yeah. Yeah. Now we we admittedly we staged, but from real experience. Gavin: 4:22 But from real experience, absolutely. I yeah, so yeah. So I went down the hill a couple of times uh in front of all of those adults. That&#39;s the other thing, too, is you know, if you go down, they&#39;re all watching to be like, who is that old man? And how long is it gonna take him to stand up? Because it is so hard to stand up from a sled, and basically you just roll over, like and you&#39;re trying to impress the parents too. David: 4:45 You&#39;re like, no, I&#39;m really young and beautiful and urile, and yeah, I&#39;m ready to go. You&#39;re not gonna let them see how bad how badly I hurt. Gavin: 4:52 Yeah, you try to jump up as fast as possible because there&#39;s really no way of doing it without being Humpty Dumpty rolling out of the sled. And then having like you can&#39;t just put what you can&#39;t stand up quickly. David: 5:03 It&#39;s so it&#39;s like getting out of a hammock. There&#39;s no sexy way out of it. There&#39;s no sexy way to get out of a hammock. Gavin: 5:09 I think sleds and hammocks. I think you&#39;re exactly right about that. David: 5:11 Honestly, the fact that you didn&#39;t end up in the hospital is a plus and minor. Gavin: 5:15 Tell me about it. Yeah, tell me about the only the only casualty was that my hat flew off a few times because I was wearing a baseball hat, uh, which is uh brings up a whole host of other things. Why were you just wearing a baseball hat? Anyway, anyway, it was I live for sledding days. It is very fun. But boy, I&#39;m old. David: 5:33 It is really fun. Um, speaking of hospitals and breaking your bones, I have an apology to our listener. Last episode, when I was talking about my butt stuff, my colonoscopy and my endoscopy, I realized I said, yeah, once you&#39;re 45, you have to have them every year. That is a lie. A lie. Gavin: 5:50 That is not misinformation. David: 5:52 Once every 10 years, I think I was just excited about getting strangers in my butt once a year. And so I said once every I know everyone is coming, our listener is coming to us for their medical advice, but it is not once every year. It is once every year. Gavin: 6:08 We are, after all, thank you for re-establishing our integrity as America&#39;s finest news source. And we cop to it when we&#39;ve made a mistake. But also, can you be blamed for wanting, you know, some stranger butt stuff once a year? David: 6:20 I mean, if that&#39;s yeah, you can&#39;t. I mean, if you&#39;re into like medical play, this is the place to go. Um, I did have to pay the bill came due today, and it was so obscene how much it cost me. Wow. Anyway, I&#39;m not even gonna say the number because it hurts me. Gavin: 6:35 Right. Weird that Gatriarchs doesn&#39;t um offer health insurance, huh? David: 6:38 Does it offer? Can you imagine if we offered health insurance? Um someday, baby, someday. Someday. I uh one thing I wanted to bring up, but this is just like one of those like thought experiment-y like gay dads versus straight dads thing. Okay. Have you noticed in your it uh school life or even just like regular life with your kids that you are the only parent who comes with both parents to things? Like, for example, when we go to walk my son to the bus in the morning, it&#39;s three blocks away from our house. It&#39;s always me and my husband, and we always bring our daughter with us, and we all go as a family, we drop him off, we all go back. Um, same thing when we go pick him up from school, we me and my husband go together. We are a hundred percent of the time the only two-parent family picking people up. Now, I it&#39;s mostly the moms, but is is that a number one, is that crazy? B, is that something you do or notice? Gavin: 7:34 One, yes, you are crazy. I believe, yeah. I I think this is you being oh, yeah. It&#39;s so cute. Our kitty goes to school. This is clearly a case of my child is in kindergarten, just you wait, eventually you won&#39;t give a shit anymore, and you&#39;ll be like, I ain&#39;t nobody got time for this. David: 7:54 But there&#39;s other kindergartners there. Yes. Gavin: 7:56 You&#39;re the only one who does this. You are number two is you&#39;re the only one who does this. Uh my partner and I, we team, we tag team the first day of school and the last day of school just for nostalgia&#39;s sake. And in between, it is absolutely a situation of not it. Oh wow. Not it. David: 8:14 But but even this is this happens at daycare too. When I drop my daughter off at daycare, 100% of the parents, it&#39;s one parent walking everyone in. Gavin: 8:22 Yes. That is logical. David: 8:24 So I&#39;m the problem. Yes. That&#39;s me. You are crazy. You&#39;re the I thought this was like a straight gate thing. You&#39;re saying it&#39;s a David versus the world thing. Gavin: 8:31 It it is absolutely you are at the center of it all. And I appreciate that you&#39;re not like shaming the rest of us who have better things to do with our time than you and your husband, because you two are giving way too much time to drop off and pick up. But it&#39;s yes, it&#39;s adorable. I agree with you. And I think you&#39;re you&#39;re creating memories and fostering a wonderful child in that process who will not grow up to be an axe murderer. David: 8:55 I will say on the days that like I&#39;m too busy to like if like my husband just gets the kids by himself. It&#39;s lovely. It&#39;s real nice to just be at home and then children arrive. Oh man, yeah, it&#39;s really nice. Gavin: 9:09 You have seven minutes of silence to yourself? David: 9:11 Yeah. Gavin: 9:13 Yeah. I can&#39;t believe that this is a scenario. Yeah, I can&#39;t believe this is a scenario that you have brought up that is a surprise. David: 9:20 That&#39;s a shock to me. Well, I think there&#39;s something going on in the air because I&#39;ve also noticed my TikTok algorithm changing. And now I&#39;m getting all of these fucking videos of these parents doing this thing where they go, someday it&#39;s like a woman and she&#39;s like in the front seat of her car, and she&#39;s like, oh man, I&#39;m so annoyed by my kids being so loud on the backseat. And then like the woman turns and it cuts to the backseat and it&#39;s empty. It&#39;s like, and someday you&#39;ll wish they were still back. You know, it&#39;s one of those fucking things. But my whole feed has become this like, just you wait, you&#39;re gonna miss these days, you&#39;re gonna miss it when it&#39;s gone. So much just you waiting. And listener, if you&#39;ve ever listened to the show before, which you hopefully haven&#39;t, you know, I this is one of my the biggest things stuck in my craw, is this like, oh, you you better enjoy it while you&#39;re there. And the total fucking disconnect older older parents have with this. They think, oh, you&#39;re just not enjoying these lovely extra cuddles at night or the extra time they want water. It&#39;s not that, it&#39;s fucking war, and you&#39;re drowning in it, and you&#39;re from 12 years later cherry-picking these beautiful fake memories that don&#39;t exist and be like, oh, I wish you would just sit. Gavin: 10:26 You&#39;re rewriting history. No, I completely agree, and it is a fact. Time speeds up and you miss it and you look back, but you&#39;re only looking, you you don&#39;t you do not recall. It is a human element of survival that you do not recall all of the war times and the the foxholes that you&#39;re in with diapers and complete sleep deprivation. No, nobody wants to go go back to that. That&#39;s why you hope for grandkids and then you have grandkids and you hand them over, I suppose. Oh my god, we&#39;re talking about grandkids. David: 10:57 No, but I mean that I think that&#39;s maybe the secret to unlocking all of this is just get older and have grandkids. Gavin: 11:02 Yes. But the whole like forcing us our nostalgia and feeling bad about it, I&#39;m just not here for that. David: 11:08 It&#39;s like trying to fix the future nostalgia by by by get by enjoying the extra cuddles now. So when you&#39;re older, you won&#39;t miss the extra cuddles. We have already talked about this. You&#39;re going to miss them regardless. Yes, try to be present, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like the only solution here is to bottle it up, and that can&#39;t happen. And so let&#39;s just fucking let it go. Gavin: 11:28 Um and come on to a podcast where we complain about our children and how much we love them. David: 11:33 So there you go. Nonstop. And to uh uh I&#39;d like to add to our podcast a new segment of considerable. SPEAKER_01: 11:41 Oh great. David: 11:42 And in true Gatriarch&#39;s fashion, I&#39;m gonna be a total hypocrite and totally about face with what I was just saying. So now our Gatriarch&#39;s premier segment, a moment of awe. So this was my I&#39;ve flabbergasted it. This is so much hashtag gratitude. So much, okay. But wait, this is my way of cat like isolating these moments of like gratitude and like softness, I feel, because I&#39;m supposed to be the hard ass asshole who talks dick jokes all the time. Right. But I I need to like let some of the niceness out every once in a while. So I&#39;m gonna force it into this little category called a moment of awe. Uh-huh. And that way we can just kind of get it out there and it won&#39;t feel as uh disgusting and stickly soft. Okay. So something I&#39;ve noticed, and you will, I&#39;m sure, uh, agree with this, is that when you know, we hug our kids a lot. I pick up my kids, they hug me, I grab them, you know, kicking and screaming from the toys or us, but like you hold your kids a lot from when they&#39;re babies and you know, as long as you can hold them. And what I&#39;m noticing a lot now, I mean, you notice it as it happens, but really a lot with my five-year-old, is how their bodies, as they get bigger, I can&#39;t hold them the same way. I have to, my arms have to go in different places and my arms get tired at different places. Gavin: 12:58 You&#39;re already calculating how soon can you put them down because you don&#39;t have the strength anymore? David: 13:02 Because you&#39;re 48 pounds, bro. Like, I can&#39;t carry you 10 bucks. But also, like how, like, you know, when you get want to get them really close in the in the nook of your neck, but like you can&#39;t really because they&#39;re too big now, and they&#39;re weird, fucking lumpy shoulder blades are in the it was just one of these moments I was like, oh my god, like this is they&#39;re getting bigger, which is so fucking stupid to say. I know, but it is the physically holding them and hugging them is changing, and that is really fucking weird and sweet and all the things. Gavin: 13:30 I appreciate that you say you are noticing it as you go along because it&#39;s this is so one of those cases of suddenly you turn around and you think, when was the last time I actually held my child? When was the last time I picked them up? Because there does come a time. I don&#39;t know when was the last time I picked up my son....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it&apos;s weird 2 parents don&apos;t do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, &#34;A Moment of Aww,&#34; we rank the top 3 hottest cartoon characters, and this week we are joined by attorney and fellow Dad Mark Hsu, author of the book &#34;Please Open in the Event of My Death &#8211; A Father&apos;s Advice to His Daughters In Case Something Horrible Happens (Which Hopefully It Won&apos;t But Just in Case&#8230;).&#34; By the title alone, we know he&apos;s a Gaytriarch. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five-star review review. Please leave us a glowing five-star review. Why is it hard to say five-star review suddenly? David: 0:11 Because it&#39;s 11:33 a.m. and you&#39;ve probably been drinking. And this is day jury. Gavin: 0:31 So, David, my back hurts. My back hurts. My muscles hurt. My shoulders hurt. My arms hurt. Everything hurts. SPEAKER_02: 0:40 Your back was mouth crack. Gavin: 0:45 Everything hurts. Everything hurts. It cracks. But and by crack, I mean everything feels like it&#39;s cracking. Because we&#39;ve had some fun weather here recently, haven&#39;t we? Yeah, a lot of snow. I mean, if it&#39;s going to be cold, please give me snow. And also that it&#39;s a sort of sort of. Good snow, too. David: 1:01 Like if you&#39;ve never lived in snow listener, I will tell you that like there&#39;s good snow and there&#39;s bad snow. And then there&#39;s like middle of the road snow. But like good snow is like fluffy and powdery, and you get to play and do something. The worst snow is the kind that melts a little bit and then immediately freezes. Yeah. Gavin: 1:16 Which is usually what I find to be New York, New Jersey snow. Everything, everything about it sucks. So we&#39;ve had really good snow of late. And the other day, my kids um went sledding and they had a just a gay old time, right? And um, and I, of course, was like, well, I&#39;m not gonna just stand around and watch it the entire time. But I&#39;m like, I probably have two runs in me. So in our town, the country club, to my utter shock, allows kids, it&#39;s the best sledding in town. And I cannot believe they have not shut it down because there are some trees that inevitably somebody hits. And then, of course, just like, you know, in general, kids are hitting each other. And wait, is this a country club? David: 1:55 You&#39;re a member of no, no, that&#39;s the thing. Gavin: 1:57 It&#39;s okay. The town just shows up and we all go to the country club. I&#39;m not a member, uh, not at all. Although I do think that the country club should get some of its bougie members to sell$5 hot chocolate with a$3 shot, and I would pay it right there. I I absolutely would. Just skip the hot chocolate, by the way. But anyway, so I&#39;m standing there, and my 11-year-old son now can&#39;t just sled. He has to build a jump, right? Yeah, of course. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And I&#39;m like, you know, when your kid is not an Einstein, when they have they have no ability to step back and think, plan out what kind of jump are we building, right? Instead, their idea is they have to have the swoopiest of swoops to go straight up into the air, not out and catch air. We&#39;re on a hill, after all. You know, you&#39;re gonna catch air. No, they have to swoop up and then they inevitably do a face plant, their backs crack. David: 2:50 They want to break the most amount of bones. The most amount of bones. Gavin: 2:54 So so I want you to spoiler, I did not go off the jump. I absolutely refuse to really hoping. No, no, no. I know I know my limits. And just the two runs that I did not on jumps made everything hurt. But also, I would stand there and my back would hurt watching them do it because I just thought, oh God]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it&apos;s weird 2 parents don&apos;t do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, &#34;A Moment of Aww,&#34; we rank the top 3 hottest cartoon characters, and this week we are joined by attorney and fellow Dad Mark Hsu, author of the book &#34;Please Open in the Event of My Death &#8211; A Father&apos;s Advice to His Daughters In Case Something Horrible Happens (Which Hopefully It Won&apos;t But Just in Case&#8230;).&#34; By the title alone, we know he&apos;s a Gaytriarch. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five-star review review. Please leave us a glowing five-star review. Why is it hard to say five-star review suddenly? David: 0:11 Because it&#39;s 11:33 a.m. and you&#39;ve probably been drinking. And this]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Hollywood Hunk Dan Amboyer</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-hollywood-hunk-dan-amboyer/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-16576863</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, it&apos;s almost Valentine&apos;s Day, and Gavin struggles with the word, David gets spitroasted by strangers, we try and squeeze a little light out of the words news, we rank our top 3 snack hacks, and this week we are joined by actor and gay dad Dan Amboyer who being an actor and a Dad, how it feels to be on the list of &#34;Top 100 Gay Actors&#34; (not top 100 gay tops), and who, of the many stars he&apos;s worked with, was the most unexpected delight. (Not Gavin) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um, are you ready to do three? Gavin: 0:01 No. I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:03 Um just the exasperated sigh of like, no, I&#39;m really not. No, but I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for anything. I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for my top three list. Not ready to deal with David all day. Gavin: 0:16 Oh, I got what. I I know. I and it&#39;s Valentine related too. David: 0:19 Okay. Valentine? It&#39;s Valentine. Sure. Oh my god. No, I did not. Yes, you did. And this is Gatriarchs. So this past week, I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. unknown: 0:49 Wait. David: 0:50 Ooh, did you do this for yourself just because it&#39;s soon Valentine&#39;s Day? I just really need a stranger to touch me. And so I decided to pay ungodly amounts of money to have that happen. No. I had uh uh I&#39;m I am now I I know I sound much younger, but I am now 45. And starting at 45, you&#39;re supposed to have men are supposed to have a colonoscopy uh once every 10 years. Gavin: 1:16 We&#39;re we&#39;re going back on our um pledge to never be helpful whatsoever. Are you making this a uh PSA that everybody needs to have their buttholes checked out? If you&#39;re 45 plus, get your butthole checked out. You do it once a year. Um and to be clear, this is not butt play, it&#39;s actually the stuff way up inside. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s first one, then the other. I mean, it&#39;s true. It is a there is a trail from one to the next. David: 1:38 It&#39;s the journey, not the destination. It is totally the journey. Um, but I was of course terrified of like waking up in the middle of it and then just being like, you know, and also an endoscopy, you&#39;re you know, it&#39;s it feels scary or whatever. Dude, I always have the best sleep of my life. They were like, um, we&#39;re gonna put it in now, start counting from three. And I literally was like, oh, okay, I&#39;ll start doing that. And then I woke up in the recovery. I didn&#39;t even start at three. Anyway, but prior to it, of course, when I ever, whenever I get nervous, and also all the other times, I make dark sexual jokes non-stop. For those of you who didn&#39;t hear this a couple episodes ago, when I had my meeting with my gastroenterologist, um, he was like, uh, all right, well, you know, we&#39;ll have colonoscopy next month. And I was like, uh, yeah, we&#39;re gonna get really close. And he said, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna go where no man has gone before. And I said, Well, um, and then his face just kind of melted a little bit. And then I walked out of the room and I just left him. And you left it, I just left him hanging. I just left it in the air. Like I farted in the room and left. It was just like sitting there. And so anyway, I like to do, I I I like aka, I get nervous and I do awkward things. And on the way there, I was telling my husband, I was like, here are my planned jokes for my colonoscopy, like when I&#39;m laying with my asshole in the air. And I was I was reading them to him, and he was like, David, under no circumstances can you say any of these. So I thought, well, why not say them on Gate Drew? On a podcast, yes, exactly. So here are we&#39;re here for here&#39;s my top three things I had planned on saying while ass up in the OR before my colonoscopy. One is don&#39;t touch my asshole, right as I&#39;m going down. Um, the other one was um rearrange my guts, daddy. Um, and then the last one that literally broke my husband, and he was like, You cannot say this, was hey, listen, if you think this is the first time I&#39;ve been spit roasted in a room full of strangers, you would be sorely mistaken. My husband was like, David, you what what it what this isn&#39;t a doctor&#39;s well, because I was getting an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. That&#39;s spit roasting, right? Anyway, this has been a PSA about your health as parents to these children. You need to make sure you&#39;re in good working order. And so if you&#39;re 45 plus and you are a boy or a male, um, you should go get your butthole scoped. It was really easy and it was a really nice nap. Gavin: 4:12 And it&#39;s it&#39;s a very important thing to do for your long-term health. But boy, was I not expecting us to start out like this. Wow. Wow. David: 4:20 It&#39;s our podcast, Gabe. We could do whatever. Also, it&#39;s romantic because Valentine&#39;s Day is in two days. And it&#39;s about self-love as well, for sure. Totally. Speaking of self-love, I um I say I love you a lot to my friends. I&#39;m a I&#39;m a very loving friend. And I&#39;m talking platonic friends, like I&#39;m a hugger, I&#39;m a like I love you to my straight friends. It&#39;s not weird or whatever. Well, the other day I was thinking just good thoughts in general about my my best friend, and I just texted him, I love you. And then I went for like a walk or whatever. And I came back and he called me immediately, and he was like, Are you okay? And I was like, Yeah. He goes, I don&#39;t know what it is, but you sending me a text that just says I love you, felt like something was about to happen. The end. Gavin: 5:04 Yeah, that you were not having you were not having a great Valentine&#39;s Day week, which you know, it probably is a time for a lot of stress for people, unnecessarily. David: 5:13 Unnecessarily, but it was really funny. I was like, okay, I need to make sure that my friends understand when I just randomly text you I love you. I just mean that. It wasn&#39;t like a hey bye, I&#39;m jumping off a bridge. Gavin: 5:22 Well, now our listener knows that as well. But maybe you should do it more frequently too. So that&#39;s true. You know, I feel like I do. So you don&#39;t worry that and but it that is pretty funny. You don&#39;t I really hope that I am interpreting our friendship well enough here that you are not somebody I need to worry about jumping off a bridge. David: 5:38 But I&#39;m way too self- I have there&#39;s too many nachos to eat in the world for me to in my life. I&#39;ve got lots to do here. Um speaking of Valentine&#39;s Day, how it&#39;s just you how do we feel about it? Gavin: 5:48 This is just the David show, isn&#39;t it? Yeah. Keep going. David: 5:50 I&#39;m just looking at the outline. I&#39;m trying to move things down. You&#39;re right. Gavin: 5:53 Yeah, yeah. You&#39;ve got all of this, and then I&#39;ve got the next chat. David: 5:56 So, but like what what how do we feel about Valentine&#39;s Day as parents? Gavin: 5:59 I mean, I I okay. Yes, it&#39;s nonsense, and yes, it&#39;s hallmark, and yes, blah, blah, blah. And and no, people shouldn&#39;t feel excluded and just choose your choice and have a good attitude and make it embrace the bullshit. But I love having a day that&#39;s a little different from others, you know? Like, admittedly, my my partner and I have been together for oh my goodness, two decades. And so we kind of are like, well, are we gonna do something? And then we think, well, yeah, we should like mark. And even if it&#39;s not that special, make it special, you know? Even if it&#39;s just like having Tostitos or Tostinos, Tostinos, the pizza roll-ups for dinner, in which is not something we do very frequently. So like it&#39;s a special day. I&#39;m here for it, it&#39;s nonsense. David: 6:42 I knew you were white trash at the core that your romantic dinner was tostinos. That is you really speaking my language. Um, I know it&#39;s your love language speaking. I realized last week for our interview with Matthew Bounds, which was really great. I love Matthew. We thought that that was going to be our Valentine&#39;s episode. So we asked him. So anyway, we&#39;re all mixed up. But listen, our listener understands that we&#39;re not organized enough to really put these shows together in a way that makes sense. My husband and I are actually the opposite, where Oh, we are I the there there was a there was a very famous time where my husband and I were at a party at a friend&#39;s party, and we were in the kitchen talking to some friends, and he looked over at me and he goes, Oh, happy 10-year anniversary. I think it&#39;s our anniversary today. And I went, Oh, and we like clinked our glasses, and that was it. We almost never celebrate those. I mean, like our birthday, yes, right? Maybe our wedding anniversary a little bit. Because it&#39;s all about short short, right? But like Valentine&#39;s Day, never. Like literally, we never it I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s like the we&#39;re loving the rest of the year, or also that just like the oh, we gotta do something. Gavin: 7:42 Do you actively protest it? Or is it no no no no? David: 7:44 We&#39;re just ignore it. Passive, totally passive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I well, I feel like we&#39;re pretty loving during the rest of the year. Gavin: 7:51 Yeah. Oh, I mean, I&#39;m all about I know I have a friend who said um she forbids her husband for ever from sending roses on Valentine&#39;s Day. She he can do it any other day of the year, but never Valentine&#39;s Day. I&#39;m like, okay, well, how about like six days of the year instead of just the April 4th? David: 8:08 But also the discount is really nice because you know getting a dozen roses on Valentine&#39;s Day is gonna cost you a lot. Gavin: 8:15 It balances out the uh the price markup. But yeah, I mean, hey, I I like having something special. So, but I know every day is Tostino&#39;s Day for in your household, so I get it. David: 8:25 So true. But also, it is fun with kids too, because I think when kids celebrate Valentine&#39;s Day, it&#39;s it&#39;s more fun and then like like my daughter, she&#39;s in pre-K3 now, and they have to bring in a little shoe box that they&#39;re gonna decorate, and then it&#39;s gonna be their little mailbox where they each put their little Valentine&#39;s. And like that is so fun. Gavin: 8:42 And then that is so 1987. It is so 1987. Neither of my kids ever made a box with a shoebox box with the you know, uh a slot cut out on the top. They just kind of like folded over big sheets of construction paper, and it was a it was a manila envelope of um Valentine&#39;s, which I always thought was really lame. Not once in all of their school careers. This year, since they&#39;re both in middle school, they can buy, they can send valograms. Is that a national thing? Did you grow up with valograms? Like you pay a buck or two, and somebody, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s usually like the student council or somebody, they oh they send something to like your secret. Totally. David: 9:18 Yeah, we did that various times throughout the year. We&#39;re like, yeah, you can send a flower gram or whatever, and yeah, yeah. Gavin: 9:23 Yeah. Well, neither of my kids are into it in the slightest bit, unfortunately. David: 9:27 I I don&#39;t think I ever got one. Honestly, I don&#39;t think I maybe my mom sent me one, but like, you know, I always wanted, you know, some hot, wonderful, beautiful woman to send me one. Hey, hey, listener. And that&#39;s why I&#39;m gay. Thanks, girls. You&#39;re welcome. Jesus. Gavin: 9:44 Well, listener, if you send David a Valagram, he will absolutely be thrilled. You&#39;ll make his day, and maybe you&#39;ll make him a Valentine&#39;s believer as well. David: 9:52 Yeah, or some Viagra too. Viagra, Valangram, Viactive Choose, Viag Viagragram, Viagra Gram, what other uh yeah. Did I ever tell you that I was on The Price Is Right? And what? Gavin: 10:04 Yeah, I was on the We need an entire episode about that. There are elements of David that listener does not know about. And I we maybe we should just have an episode of the one with David F. David: 10:14 M. Vaughn and then the one with Gavin Lodge. That would be really fun. Anyway, and um, I I got to go up on stage and I got to play and whatever. But one of my like, you know, the the prizes when you&#39;re a contestant row and it&#39;s like, you know, here&#39;s a set of dishes and you have to bid and to get up on stage. Yeah. One of my prizes when I won that was a year&#39;s supply of viactive chews. Viactive chews are calcium chews for women. Did I eat all of them in like three days? Because they were delicious. They were like these soft caramels, and I grew tits. So, yeah, that&#39;s how I grew tits. Gavin: 10:45 I have so many questions uh about that, but we&#39;re gonna come back to the show. Let&#39;s do it. Let&#39;s do it. David: 10:50 But I think that&#39;s a really fun idea, the one with David. And you can interview me and ask me any question, and I&#39;ll I have so many questions. Gavin: 10:56 So many questions. All right. So in the meantime, let&#39;s um continue this uh happy spy, uh happy road we&#39;re on and talk about the news, shall we? Oh my god. Just kidding. Uh I do want to make the disclaimer. If anybody ever wonders, if anybody even vaguely, vaguely wonders about our uh politics or pro, you know, um political stance. I can go, I can speak so well, but when I&#39;m trying to be clever, I fucking suck at it. And you are editing that out, okay? David: 11:28 No way, no way. That&#39;s staying. Gavin: 11:30 This is Gatriarchs. Okay. Disclaimer. If anybody wonders about our political proclivities, do not. I am a super political person. David, you are super politically oriented and opinionated. I think that that is a lane that we basically want to skip here because we all know that we all agree, right? There are a few things that I want to bring up though, occasionally in the news. So um, with that disclaimer, have we believe that America is an absolute dumpster fire right now. Democracy is being hijacked by a South African man who&#39;s a billionaire, et cetera, et cetera, right? Did you know that in the scourge of nonsense and illegalities and hate that is um flowing towards the LGBTQ plus community right now, um, I will say that there&#39;s a little, a few lights of um happiness. When the US taketh away, Thailand giveth for days. Thailand has just committed itself to providing um uh gender-affirming care for millions and millions of its people. It&#39;s investing and doubling down in medical treatments for the people who need it um the most. And I just think that&#39;s awesome that they are embracing self-expression and truth. And how magnificent is that? It&#39;s amazing. David: 12:44 And also they have amazing scuba diving there. If you&#39;re a scuba diver, like Thailand is one of the best places to dive, it is incredible. And pick up your gender-affirming drugs while you&#39;re dive. Absolutely. Gavin: 12:55 Now, we have uh we might be starting something new, although it&#39;s gonna start now and it&#39;s not gonna change for it. David: 13:01 Some next sea slugs and some he drugs. Sorry, I was working on some sort of diving plus Taiwanese. Okay, yeah. Anyway, excellent. Gavin: 13:10 Sorry, excellent. And if you could actually translate that into Thai for the next episode, I would love to be able to do that. David: 13:16 I don&#39;t feel comfortable doing that. I think that&#39;s that&#39;s something that it&#39;s more your lane. You&#39;re the one who started this whole thing off with saying you hate Africans. Gavin: 13:23 So I am announcing our very first Gatriarch&#39;s zaddy obsession, okay. Okay? And I think this is gonna be. David: 13:33 We&#39;ve literally obsessed with every we&#39;ve been so thirsty for every single guest we&#39;ve ever had. Gavin: 13:37 No, but we&#39;re we&#39;re this guy is on a pedestal for us, okay? And I just want to make it very, very publicly um evident, all right? So, did you know that uh Trump has actually appointed a gay man to the federal cabinet right now? His name is Scott Besent, and he is the Treasury Secretary. I mean, arguably...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, it&apos;s almost Valentine&apos;s Day, and Gavin struggles with the word, David gets spitroasted by strangers, we try and squeeze a little light out of the words news, we rank our top 3 snack hacks, and this week we are joined by actor and gay]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, it&apos;s almost Valentine&apos;s Day, and Gavin struggles with the word, David gets spitroasted by strangers, we try and squeeze a little light out of the words news, we rank our top 3 snack hacks, and this week we are joined by actor and gay dad Dan Amboyer who being an actor and a Dad, how it feels to be on the list of &#34;Top 100 Gay Actors&#34; (not top 100 gay tops), and who, of the many stars he&apos;s worked with, was the most unexpected delight. (Not Gavin) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um, are you ready to do three? Gavin: 0:01 No. I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:03 Um just the exasperated sigh of like, no, I&#39;m really not. No, but I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for anything. I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for my top three list. Not ready to deal with David all day. Gavin: 0:16 Oh, I got what. I I know. I and it&#39;s Valentine related too. David: 0:19 Okay. Valentine? It&#39;s Valentine. Sure. Oh my god. No, I did not. Yes, you did. And this is Gatriarchs. So this past week, I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. unknown: 0:49 Wait. David: 0:50 Ooh, did you do this for yourself just because it&#39;s soon Valentine&#39;s Day? I just really need a stranger to touch me. And so I decided to pay ungodly amounts of money to have that happen. No. I had uh uh I&#39;m I am now I I know I sound much younger, but I am now 45. And starting at 45, you&#39;re supposed to have men are supposed to have a colonoscopy uh once every 10 years. Gavin: 1:16 We&#39;re we&#39;re going back on our um pledge to never be helpful whatsoever. Are you making this a uh PSA that everybody needs to have their buttholes checked out? If you&#39;re 45 plus, get your butthole checked out. You do it once a year. Um and to be clear, this is not butt play, it&#39;s actually the stuff way up inside. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s first one, then the other. I mean, it&#39;s true. It is a there is a trail from one to the next. David: 1:38 It&#39;s the journey, not the destination. It is totally the journey. Um, but I was of course terrified of like waking up in the middle of it and then just being like, you know, and also an endoscopy, you&#39;re you know, it&#39;s it feels scary or whatever. Dude, I always have the best sleep of my life. They were like, um, we&#39;re gonna put it in now, start counting from three. And I literally was like, oh, okay, I&#39;ll start doing that. And then I woke up in the recovery. I didn&#39;t even start at three. Anyway, but prior to it, of course, when I ever, whenever I get nervous, and also all the other times, I make dark sexual jokes non-stop. For those of you who didn&#39;t hear this a couple episodes ago, when I had my meeting with my gastroenterologist, um, he was like, uh, all right, well, you know, we&#39;ll have colonoscopy next month. And I was like, uh, yeah, we&#39;re gonna get really close. And he said, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna go where no man has gone before. And I said, Well, um, and then his face just kind of melted a little bit. And then I walked out of the room and I just left him. And you left it, I just left him hanging. I just left it in the air. Like I farted in the room and left. It was just like sitting there. And so anyway, I like to do, I I I like aka, I get nervous and I do awkward things. And on the way there, I was telling my husband, I was like, here are my planned jokes for my colonoscopy, like when I&#39;m laying with my asshole in the air. And I was I was reading them to him, and he was like, David, under no circumstances can you say any of these. So I thought, well, why not say them on Gate Drew? On a podcast, yes, exactly. So here are we&#39;re here for here&#39;s my top three things I had planned on saying while ass up in the OR before my colonoscopy. One is don&#39;t touch my asshole, right as I&#39;m going down. Um, the other one was um rearrange my guts, daddy. Um, and then the last one that literally broke my husband, and he was like, You cannot say this, was hey, listen, if you think this is the first time I&#39;ve been spit roasted in a room full of strangers, you would be sorely mistaken. My husband was like, David, you what what it what this isn&#39;t a doctor&#39;s well, because I was getting an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. That&#39;s spit roasting, right? Anyway, this has been a PSA about your health as parents to these children. You need to make sure you&#39;re in good working order. And so if you&#39;re 45 plus and you are a boy or a male, um, you should go get your butthole scoped. It was really easy and it was a really nice nap. Gavin: 4:12 And it&#39;s it&#39;s a very important thing to do for your long-term health. But boy, was I not expecting us to start out like this. Wow. Wow. David: 4:20 It&#39;s our podcast, Gabe. We could do whatever. Also, it&#39;s romantic because Valentine&#39;s Day is in two days. And it&#39;s about self-love as well, for sure. Totally. Speaking of self-love, I um I say I love you a lot to my friends. I&#39;m a I&#39;m a very loving friend. And I&#39;m talking platonic friends, like I&#39;m a hugger, I&#39;m a like I love you to my straight friends. It&#39;s not weird or whatever. Well, the other day I was thinking just good thoughts in general about my my best friend, and I just texted him, I love you. And then I went for like a walk or whatever. And I came back and he called me immediately, and he was like, Are you okay? And I was like, Yeah. He goes, I don&#39;t know what it is, but you sending me a text that just says I love you, felt like something was about to happen. The end. Gavin: 5:04 Yeah, that you were not having you were not having a great Valentine&#39;s Day week, which you know, it probably is a time for a lot of stress for people, unnecessarily. David: 5:13 Unnecessarily, but it was really funny. I was like, okay, I need to make sure that my friends understand when I just randomly text you I love you. I just mean that. It wasn&#39;t like a hey bye, I&#39;m jumping off a bridge. Gavin: 5:22 Well, now our listener knows that as well. But maybe you should do it more frequently too. So that&#39;s true. You know, I feel like I do. So you don&#39;t worry that and but it that is pretty funny. You don&#39;t I really hope that I am interpreting our friendship well enough here that you are not somebody I need to worry about jumping off a bridge. David: 5:38 But I&#39;m way too self- I have there&#39;s too many nachos to eat in the world for me to in my life. I&#39;ve got lots to do here. Um speaking of Valentine&#39;s Day, how it&#39;s just you how do we feel about it? Gavin: 5:48 This is just the David show, isn&#39;t it? Yeah. Keep going. David: 5:50 I&#39;m just looking at the outline. I&#39;m trying to move things down. You&#39;re right. Gavin: 5:53 Yeah, yeah. You&#39;ve got all of this, and then I&#39;ve got the next chat. David: 5:56 So, but like what what how do we feel about Valentine&#39;s Day as parents? Gavin: 5:59 I mean, I I okay. Yes, it&#39;s nonsense, and yes, it&#39;s hallmark, and yes, blah, blah, blah. And and no, people shouldn&#39;t feel excluded and just choose your choice and have a good attitude and make it embrace the bullshit. But I love having a day that&#39;s a little different from others, you know? Like, admittedly, my my partner and I have been together for oh my goodness, two decades. And so we kind of are like, well, are we gonna do something? And then we think, well, yeah, we should like mark. And even if it&#39;s not that special, make it special, you know? Even if it&#39;s just like having Tostitos or Tostinos, Tostinos, the pizza roll-ups for dinner, in which is not something we do very frequently. So like it&#39;s a special day. I&#39;m here for it, it&#39;s nonsense. David: 6:42 I knew you were white trash at the core that your romantic dinner was tostinos. That is you really speaking my language. Um, I know it&#39;s your love language speaking. I realized last week for our interview with Matthew Bounds, which was really great. I love Matthew. We thought that that was going to be our Valentine&#39;s episode. So we asked him. So anyway, we&#39;re all mixed up. But listen, our listener understands that we&#39;re not organized enough to really put these shows together in a way that makes sense. My husband and I are actually the opposite, where Oh, we are I the there there was a there was a very famous time where my husband and I were at a party at a friend&#39;s party, and we were in the kitchen talking to some friends, and he looked over at me and he goes, Oh, happy 10-year anniversary. I think it&#39;s our anniversary today. And I went, Oh, and we like clinked our glasses, and that was it. We almost never celebrate those. I mean, like our birthday, yes, right? Maybe our wedding anniversary a little bit. Because it&#39;s all about short short, right? But like Valentine&#39;s Day, never. Like literally, we never it I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s like the we&#39;re loving the rest of the year, or also that just like the oh, we gotta do something. Gavin: 7:42 Do you actively protest it? Or is it no no no no? David: 7:44 We&#39;re just ignore it. Passive, totally passive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I well, I feel like we&#39;re pretty loving during the rest of the year. Gavin: 7:51 Yeah. Oh, I mean, I&#39;m all about I know I have a friend who said um she forbids her husband for ever from sending roses on Valentine&#39;s Day. She he can do it any other day of the year, but never Valentine&#39;s Day. I&#39;m like, okay, well, how about like six days of the year instead of just the April 4th? David: 8:08 But also the discount is really nice because you know getting a dozen roses on Valentine&#39;s Day is gonna cost you a lot. Gavin: 8:15 It balances out the uh the price markup. But yeah, I mean, hey, I I like having something special. So, but I know every day is Tostino&#39;s Day for in your household, so I get it. David: 8:25 So true. But also, it is fun with kids too, because I think when kids celebrate Valentine&#39;s Day, it&#39;s it&#39;s more fun and then like like my daughter, she&#39;s in pre-K3 now, and they have to bring in a little shoe box that they&#39;re gonna decorate, and then it&#39;s gonna be their little mailbox where they each put their little Valentine&#39;s. And like that is so fun. Gavin: 8:42 And then that is so 1987. It is so 1987. Neither of my kids ever made a box with a shoebox box with the you know, uh a slot cut out on the top. They just kind of like folded over big sheets of construction paper, and it was a it was a manila envelope of um Valentine&#39;s, which I always thought was really lame. Not once in all of their school careers. This year, since they&#39;re both in middle school, they can buy, they can send valograms. Is that a national thing? Did you grow up with valograms? Like you pay a buck or two, and somebody, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s usually like the student council or somebody, they oh they send something to like your secret. Totally. David: 9:18 Yeah, we did that various times throughout the year. We&#39;re like, yeah, you can send a flower gram or whatever, and yeah, yeah. Gavin: 9:23 Yeah. Well, neither of my kids are into it in the slightest bit, unfortunately. David: 9:27 I I don&#39;t think I ever got one. Honestly, I don&#39;t think I maybe my mom sent me one, but like, you know, I always wanted, you know, some hot, wonderful, beautiful woman to send me one. Hey, hey, listener. And that&#39;s why I&#39;m gay. Thanks, girls. You&#39;re welcome. Jesus. Gavin: 9:44 Well, listener, if you send David a Valagram, he will absolutely be thrilled. You&#39;ll make his day, and maybe you&#39;ll make him a Valentine&#39;s believer as well. David: 9:52 Yeah, or some Viagra too. Viagra, Valangram, Viactive Choose, Viag Viagragram, Viagra Gram, what other uh yeah. Did I ever tell you that I was on The Price Is Right? And what? Gavin: 10:04 Yeah, I was on the We need an entire episode about that. There are elements of David that listener does not know about. And I we maybe we should just have an episode of the one with David F. David: 10:14 M. Vaughn and then the one with Gavin Lodge. That would be really fun. Anyway, and um, I I got to go up on stage and I got to play and whatever. But one of my like, you know, the the prizes when you&#39;re a contestant row and it&#39;s like, you know, here&#39;s a set of dishes and you have to bid and to get up on stage. Yeah. One of my prizes when I won that was a year&#39;s supply of viactive chews. Viactive chews are calcium chews for women. Did I eat all of them in like three days? Because they were delicious. They were like these soft caramels, and I grew tits. So, yeah, that&#39;s how I grew tits. Gavin: 10:45 I have so many questions uh about that, but we&#39;re gonna come back to the show. Let&#39;s do it. Let&#39;s do it. David: 10:50 But I think that&#39;s a really fun idea, the one with David. And you can interview me and ask me any question, and I&#39;ll I have so many questions. Gavin: 10:56 So many questions. All right. So in the meantime, let&#39;s um continue this uh happy spy, uh happy road we&#39;re on and talk about the news, shall we? Oh my god. Just kidding. Uh I do want to make the disclaimer. If anybody ever wonders, if anybody even vaguely, vaguely wonders about our uh politics or pro, you know, um political stance. I can go, I can speak so well, but when I&#39;m trying to be clever, I fucking suck at it. And you are editing that out, okay? David: 11:28 No way, no way. That&#39;s staying. Gavin: 11:30 This is Gatriarchs. Okay. Disclaimer. If anybody wonders about our political proclivities, do not. I am a super political person. David, you are super politically oriented and opinionated. I think that that is a lane that we basically want to skip here because we all know that we all agree, right? There are a few things that I want to bring up though, occasionally in the news. So um, with that disclaimer, have we believe that America is an absolute dumpster fire right now. Democracy is being hijacked by a South African man who&#39;s a billionaire, et cetera, et cetera, right? Did you know that in the scourge of nonsense and illegalities and hate that is um flowing towards the LGBTQ plus community right now, um, I will say that there&#39;s a little, a few lights of um happiness. When the US taketh away, Thailand giveth for days. Thailand has just committed itself to providing um uh gender-affirming care for millions and millions of its people. It&#39;s investing and doubling down in medical treatments for the people who need it um the most. And I just think that&#39;s awesome that they are embracing self-expression and truth. And how magnificent is that? It&#39;s amazing. David: 12:44 And also they have amazing scuba diving there. If you&#39;re a scuba diver, like Thailand is one of the best places to dive, it is incredible. And pick up your gender-affirming drugs while you&#39;re dive. Absolutely. Gavin: 12:55 Now, we have uh we might be starting something new, although it&#39;s gonna start now and it&#39;s not gonna change for it. David: 13:01 Some next sea slugs and some he drugs. Sorry, I was working on some sort of diving plus Taiwanese. Okay, yeah. Anyway, excellent. Gavin: 13:10 Sorry, excellent. And if you could actually translate that into Thai for the next episode, I would love to be able to do that. David: 13:16 I don&#39;t feel comfortable doing that. I think that&#39;s that&#39;s something that it&#39;s more your lane. You&#39;re the one who started this whole thing off with saying you hate Africans. Gavin: 13:23 So I am announcing our very first Gatriarch&#39;s zaddy obsession, okay. Okay? And I think this is gonna be. David: 13:33 We&#39;ve literally obsessed with every we&#39;ve been so thirsty for every single guest we&#39;ve ever had. Gavin: 13:37 No, but we&#39;re we&#39;re this guy is on a pedestal for us, okay? And I just want to make it very, very publicly um evident, all right? So, did you know that uh Trump has actually appointed a gay man to the federal cabinet right now? His name is Scott Besent, and he is the Treasury Secretary. I mean, arguably...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, it&apos;s almost Valentine&apos;s Day, and Gavin struggles with the word, David gets spitroasted by strangers, we try and squeeze a little light out of the words news, we rank our top 3 snack hacks, and this week we are joined by actor and gay dad Dan Amboyer who being an actor and a Dad, how it feels to be on the list of &#34;Top 100 Gay Actors&#34; (not top 100 gay tops), and who, of the many stars he&apos;s worked with, was the most unexpected delight. (Not Gavin) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um, are you ready to do three? Gavin: 0:01 No. I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:03 Um just the exasperated sigh of like, no, I&#39;m really not. No, but I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for anything. I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for my top three list. Not ready to deal with David all day. Gavin: 0:16 Oh, I got what. I I know. I and it&#39;s Valentine related too. David: 0:19 Okay. Valentine? It&#39;s Valentine. Sure. Oh my god. No, I did not. Yes, you did. And this is Gatriarchs. So this past week, I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. unknown: 0:49 Wait. David: 0:50 Ooh, did you do this for yourself just because it&#39;s soon Valentine&#39;s Day? I just really need a stranger to touch me. And so I decided to pay ungodly amounts of money to have that happen. No. I had uh uh I&#39;m I am now I I know I sound much younger, but I am now 45. And starting at 45, you&#39;re supposed to have men are supposed to have a colonoscopy uh once every 10 years. Gavin: 1:16 We&#39;re we&#39;re going back on our um pledge to never be helpful whatsoever. Are you making this a uh PSA that everybody needs to have their buttholes checked out? If you&#39;re 45 plus, get your butthole checked out. You do it once a year. Um and to be clear, this is not butt play, it&#39;s actually the stuff way up inside. Let&#39;s be honest. It&#39;s first one, then the other. I mean, it&#39;s true. It is a there is a trail from one to the next. David: 1:38 It&#39;s the journey, not the destination. It is totally the journey. Um, but I was of course terrified of like waking up in the middle of it and then just being like, you know, and also an endoscopy, you&#39;re you know, it&#39;s it feels scary or whatever. Dude, I always have the best sleep of my life. They were like, um, we&#39;re gonna put it in now, start counting from three. And I literally was like, oh, okay, I&#39;ll start doing that. And then I woke up in the recovery. I didn&#39;t even start at three. Anyway, but prior to it, of course, when I ever, whenever I get nervous, and also all the other times, I make dark sexual jokes non-stop. For those of you who didn&#39;t hear this a couple episodes ago, when I had my meeting with my gastroenterologist, um, he was like, uh, all right, well, you know, we&#39;ll have colonoscopy next month. And I was like, uh, yeah, we&#39;re gonna get really close. And he said, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna go where no man has gone before. And I said, Well, um, and then his face just kind of melted a little bit. And then I walked out of the room and I just left him. And you left it, I just left him hanging. I just left it in the air. Like I farted in the room and left. It was just like sitting there. And so anyway, I like to do, I I I like aka, I get nervous and I do awkward things. And on the way there, I was telling my husband, I was like, here are my planned jokes for my colonoscopy, like when I&#39;m laying with my asshole in the air. And I was I was reading them to him, and he was like, David, under no circumstances can you say any of these. So I thought, well, why not say them on Gate Drew? On a podcast, yes, exactly. So here are we&#39;re here for here&#39;s my top three things I had planned on saying while ass up in the OR before my colonoscopy. One is don&#39;t touch my asshole, right as I&#39;m going down. Um, the other one was um rearrange my guts, daddy. Um, an]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, it&apos;s almost Valentine&apos;s Day, and Gavin struggles with the word, David gets spitroasted by strangers, we try and squeeze a little light out of the words news, we rank our top 3 snack hacks, and this week we are joined by actor and gay dad Dan Amboyer who being an actor and a Dad, how it feels to be on the list of &#34;Top 100 Gay Actors&#34; (not top 100 gay tops), and who, of the many stars he&apos;s worked with, was the most unexpected delight. (Not Gavin) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Um, are you ready to do three? Gavin: 0:01 No. I&#39;m sorry. David: 0:03 Um just the exasperated sigh of like, no, I&#39;m really not. No, but I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for anything. I&#39;ll get it. Not ready for my top three list. Not ready to deal with David all day. Gavin: 0:16 Oh, I got what. I I know. I and it&#39;s Valentine related too. David: 0:1]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with TikTok&#8217;er Matthew Bounds</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tiktoker-matthew-bounds/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets an instagram notification that rocks his world, Gavin introduces his daughter to white culture, David has a &#34;what would you do?&#34; for Gavin for once, we rank the top 3 things in your childhood you&apos;re sad your kids won&apos;t experience, and this week we are joined by one of my favorite TikTok cooks in the biz, Matthew Bounds, who talks to us about his sudden rise to fame, how he amassed an incredibly generous fan base, what it&apos;s like being a gay man in Mississippi, and why he and his husband are confident they don&apos;t ever want kids. (Us either). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh wow, that you&#39;re all you&#39;re taking a deep breath before we&#39;re even starting. David: 0:04 I know. I was just trying to center myself before we start recording. Gavin: 0:07 Okay. David: 0:07 Um Well, I was riffing on it, so I think that was a great start. Yeah. We&#39;re yeah. It&#39;s it&#39;s been that I feel like I&#39;m having sex for the first time. I&#39;m just not quite oh I don&#39;t know. Wow. You go, I go, we go, no, we go, and then it ends in disappointment. And this is Gatriarchs. So Gaben, on January 17th at 6 19 PM, I got a notification on Instagram. Okay. Do you know what that notification might be? Gavin: 0:55 Was it TikTok related? Like Instagram. On Instagram. Oh, well, right, but was Instagram like co-opting all of TikTok&#39;s followers to was it did it have something to do with the impending doom of democracy? Nope. No, you wouldn&#39;t be that. Okay, never mind. It had something to do with Kim Kardashian or Beyonce. David: 1:16 No, I&#39;ll tell you what it was. Oh, geez. The notification said Gavin Lodge followed you. Explain yourself. Gavin: 1:41 I I I I I have I have nothing. I have I I I am a I am an empty crater of soul right now. What&#39;s so what&#39;s what&#39;s even more pathetic than that is that I don&#39;t even remember doing it, frankly. I spent, listen, the bulk of my social media time is spent actually frantically trying to do our social, and I tag you every single time, and I tag myself every single time, and it did not occur to me that I wasn&#39;t following you. Because I see your shit all the time on our feed. It doesn&#39;t occur to me. I I spend so little time on my I&#39;m not I&#39;m not even gonna bother digging out of this hole. David: 2:24 My surprise, my jaw a gate when I thought Gavin love. Two years? First of all, two years into the podcast we&#39;ve been together, let alone 15 years I&#39;ve known you. Gavin: 2:36 93 episodes in. Uh-huh. David: 2:38 Yeah. So anyway, everyone out there, yeah. Gavin: 2:41 Thank you for not hating me for that and making me laugh about it. David: 2:45 My other favorite thing that I&#39;m gonna make fun of you about was Gavin was asking me uh where a certain document was. And Gavin and I have a Google Drive full of every episode, every file, every contract, every email, everything we&#39;ve ever done. It&#39;s where we do all of our business. And Gavin goes, where is that? And I said, Oh, it&#39;s in the Google Drive. And he goes, Oh yeah, I forgot we had one. Gavin: 3:08 Babe, where do you wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This one I will defend myself on. Okay. Wait, what was it? I was looking for our logo, right? Because I had because you know, as you know, Instagram has changed, you know, its formatting, right? So we no longer have squares, we have rectangles so that they can keep up with TikTok, basically. And I needed to redo our logo for our social media posts. And I didn&#39;t know, I thought, oh, whatever. This is never mind. Fine, just make me look dumb. I didn&#39;t know where the logo was, the original logo that you created on Photoshop. David: 3:40 So I figured It&#39;s all fun. It&#39;s all fun and games until somebody doesn&#39;t follow them. All right. Gavin: 3:45 Or gets too defensive about it for his idiocy. Oh, I love being the butt of your jokes, but not being your butt anyway. So this weekend, I need your advice. Okay. How, how to fucking deal with a teenager. I mean, remember that I&#39;m sure we&#39;ve joked about how Tina Faye has her famous thing about like living with a teenager is like having a work crush, and you&#39;re always kind of like, hi, um, I don&#39;t mean to bother you, but you know, there is so much walking on eggshells with a teenager where you&#39;re kind of like, I don&#39;t know what monster is gonna come out today. I do not now, also, disclaimer for all of the people out there trying to dox me or us about talking shit about our children. I love my child more than oxygen. She&#39;s wonderful. It&#39;s all age appropriate. There&#39;s nothing inappropriate about her behavior. But she is, but she is absolutely bonkers. You do not know what animal is gonna come out day to day. And so this weekend, we met a family of mine in Providence because it&#39;s halfway. They live in Massachusetts, so we met halfway. And we were gonna have lunch and just go for a walk around the Brown University campus just because like it was something to do, right? And it was max two hours. I mean, we got burritos at some like super divey campusy joint. And then we just walked around the campus because, like, what else are we gonna do? We weren&#39;t gonna go shopping, we weren&#39;t going to, we weren&#39;t gonna force my kids to see a museum or anything. Anyway, I mean, this is what, by the way, what peak white people shit. David: 5:08 You&#39;re like meeting at a university to have lunch and walk the campus. Sorry, I just wanted to point that out. Yes, during Black History Month. Continue. Yep. Gavin: 5:19 Do you did you ever know about um a website 107 years ago when you were just maybe in middle school? Um, called stuff whitepeopleke.com. David: 5:28 No, but it&#39;s I love it already. Gavin: 5:30 It was, I mean, the mockery of whiteness. It was so genius. And I&#39;m sure that walking an Ivy League campus was probably in the top three. Probably. Anyway, so that&#39;s what we were doing. Yeah. And um, the idea of like meeting up with family for the one time a year that we meet with them and then going for a walk. Like, what else do you do, right? Like, even when we were kids, you might be like, hey, we&#39;re gonna go see Aunt Jean and Uncle Henry, and we just meet up, right? Well, anyway, my daughter could not take the fact that we were just going for a walk. This definitely falls under the category of children these days. I know, just get off my lawn, get off. But uh she the idea of being bored is intolerable. And if every damn moment of the day is not adjacent to Disneyland, it is World War III. So the point of this story is I kept my shit together and I said nothing. Because I was keeping up appearances for my uncle and aunt, right? And I wanted them, of course, to think that I was a great parent. But the whole time I was maniacally devising what punishment would happen in one half an hour as we&#39;re walking around trying to find anyway. So my punishment in this case was, or rather, I didn&#39;t want to punish her. I didn&#39;t want to yes, I did want to make her feel bad. But so my punishment was you have to write me a three-page essay. David: 6:53 And I had a whole bunch of questions the most Gavin lodge punishment I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire life. You have to go to a museum and write a dissertation. Gavin: 7:02 So I wrote out a bunch of questions like, why do you think I was disappointed? Why do you think this was disrespectful? Why do you think it&#39;s important to respect your family that you only see once a year? But also, how could I have done this differently? What would have prepped you better? You know? And I feel like it was mildly successful in terms of, you know, I didn&#39;t scream in the moment. We debriefed it afterwards when everybody was calm. She did apologize. She&#39;s like, I know, I know, I was a jerk, I know. But then, but then the takeaway from it all is basically she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t like surprises, and I don&#39;t want you to. You told me we were just having lunch. I didn&#39;t know we were gonna go for a walk. And I&#39;m like, you know, oh, the day. David: 7:45 We&#39;re bipedal, babe. This is what we do. Gavin: 7:49 Back in the day, your parents told you to get in the car. You didn&#39;t ask, where are we going? How long are we gonna be there? What do we have to do? What we just did it, right? David: 7:56 Have we approached now back in the day? I just walked uphill. Okay, all right. Gavin: 8:01 Absolutely, absolutely. Anyway, but she I do appreciate that she said, just please don&#39;t spring surprises on me and let me know what to expect. Which I know if I had said, and we&#39;re gonna go for a walk across an Ivy League campus for an hour, I&#39;m pissed. It wouldn&#39;t have been as bad as the behavior that elicited it. Anyway, what is my takeaway from all that? Apparently, I have a child who hates surprises, and I was not quite as much of an asshole as I usually am. David: 8:27 I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t know. Uh I I don&#39;t have obviously I have young kids, five and three, and my three-year-old is a challenge. Um, and I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m gonna do when they&#39;re in adult bodies because right now I like, I&#39;m just like blow it up and walk away. Like I&#39;m like starve, and then I just like leave, or I, or I sh put them down in the naughty corner and I turn on a timer, or I just lock them in the bathroom or something, or chain them to the tree outside, or you know, like normal things. Yeah. Um and so because I don&#39;t have the I&#39;ve said this before, I don&#39;t have the emotional maturity to negotiate and thought I get so enraged by a three-year-old girl, by a three-year-old girl, I just I get my blood boils so hard. The thought of that coming from a 13-year-old girl in an adult body who can just I just don&#39;t know how I I&#39;m gonna have to develop some real emotional maturity before my kids get older. Gavin: 9:24 That&#39;s why I am here taking your abuse constantly on a weekly basis, is I do feel like this is my volunteer giving back, is to impart my knowledge on you so that you can completely forget it. But ultimately, I&#39;ll get a text from you in 10 years that&#39;s like, okay, you were right. You were right. But you know what? David: 9:41 It like my thought was my my first thought was like, then just you don&#39;t bring her anywhere, and the punishment is she doesn&#39;t get to go anywhere. But actually, that&#39;s exactly what she wants. But that but I was just gonna say, she would love that, and that doesn&#39;t help her grow. Gavin: 9:53 Like, I get all the things that she&#39;s gonna deal with the coping mechanisms of just like dealing with boredom once in a while. Listen, I didn&#39;t want to walk around Brown&#39;s campus. Are you kidding me? It was totally boring. Oh no, it wasn&#39;t actually totally like the architecture, it&#39;s white culture, Gavin. David: 10:08 You love it. Rice Krispie treats, boiled chicken, walking Ivy League school campuses. Gavin: 10:12 Doubling down, doubling down on the whiteness they were having, they were having an a cappella group festival. David: 10:19 Oh my god. I apologize to all of our POC listeners right now for Gavin and his absolute refusal to acknowledge. Gavin: 10:28 But all of those students, it was it was not it was not a bunch of white people, that&#39;s for sure. It was um there was lots of diversity in these a cappella groups that were so wholesome and so earnest about their a cappella, which spoiler alert, I was in an a cappella group. I know like you act like this is a surprise to me that you&#39;re saying this. David: 10:47 Like, of course this makes sense. Oh, wait, listen, you you initially had asked for my advice, but then you ended up not asking for the advice. Yeah, I don&#39;t have advice because I don&#39;t know. I I not again, I&#39;m not emotionally mature enough to handle it. So I&#39;m gonna counter your ask by another ask by asking your advice. Um, is I am now at the phase where my kids more than half the time demand I wipe their butt. In fact, my my son the other day said, Come in here, wipe my butt. I said, No. And he screamed at the top of his lungs, wipe my glorious butt. And I was like, uh uh, and so I need some advice on how do I break this, other than just like let the because if I just don&#39;t do it, they&#39;ll like half wipe and then they just have shitty ass all day. Yeah, and so rashes and discomfort and and this is not a what would you do, which is coming up. Oh yeah, I have a real what would you do. Gavin: 11:40 I I do remember that time thinking, bending over the back of the backside of my kid as they lean forward and I&#39;m like, and I&#39;m like, this is what my life has become. David: 11:50 And they&#39;re like, don&#39;t wipe too hard. Yeah, I&#39;m like, this is a wet wipe. We have to wipe our butts with leaves in the day. Yeah, we sure did. We sure did. Gavin: 11:58 I mean, I am speechless as to how you do that. What is the mental trick? I mean, do you incentivize? Do you say, hey, you get three MMs if you do it yourself, that kind of thing. I mean, they do have to eventually learn to do it. They have to learn that if they don&#39;t do it well enough, they&#39;re gonna have discomfort and they&#39;re gonna have our issues and whatnot. So, I mean, have you thought about just bribing them? Because that&#39;s what parenting is about, is bribers. David: 12:25 Also, like the I&#39;m just so proud of us for the consistency of our podcast of being unhelpful, answering no questions whatsoever. People out there like, well, so what do we do with our teens? What do we do with our butt wiping? I don&#39;t know. Throw MMs at them and leave them home. unknown: 12:39 Yes. David: 12:39 That&#39;s our advice today. Gavin: 12:41 That is our advice. Throw MMs at them and leave them at home. David: 12:44 And um and give up. All right. Well, this has been really wonderful, but let me actually ask you. Okay, I have a very rare moment of asking you for a what would you do. SPEAKER_03: 12:55 What would you do? Gavin: 13:00 What would you do? David: 13:02 No. Oh, God. Um, okay. Gavin: 13:05 I thought you would sing it. Why not? David: 13:06 No, I actually can&#39;t do it any better than I can. I just play the clip every time. I let the professionals do it. So I was at a children&#39;s play place over the weekend. You know the kind, you know I&#39;m there every weekend. Petri Dish. And there was a woman there who had a very young baby who was breastfeeding her baby. And I walked by, I was like sitting kind of adjacent to her, and I looked over at her, and like the baby was being cute or whatever. And I just like was smiled at the baby. And I was just thinking about, I don&#39;t know, I haven&#39;t had an infant, but feels like forever, even though it was just, you know, two ago. Um, but I was just like having a sweet moment of, you know, that thing that we all do, we forget all the hard parts. We&#39;re just like, oh, I have to have a little baby again. And then I kind of glance back up, and there&#39;s her and her husband glaring daggers at me. Because what they think is that I&#39;ve been staring at her naked titty out the whole time and smiling like a fucking cheetah about to eat their prey. And I was like, oh my God. And my first instinct, as we are, as we as gay people know, like when we&#39;re in a parking garage alone with a single woman, is to gay it up. Yeah, just faggot me all the way, just to be like, girl, you are safe with me. Gavin: 14:19 Springing and let&#39;s talk about Taylor spraying purses and pearls out of your mouth. David: 14:23 Throw pillows out of my butthole. And so I literally froze. I didn&#39;t know what to do. So, Gavin, I ask you, what would you do? Gavin: 14:35 That was...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets an instagram notification that rocks his world, Gavin introduces his daughter to white culture, David has a &#34;what would you do?&#34; for Gavin for once, we rank the top 3 things in your childhood you&apos;re sad your kids won&ap]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets an instagram notification that rocks his world, Gavin introduces his daughter to white culture, David has a &#34;what would you do?&#34; for Gavin for once, we rank the top 3 things in your childhood you&apos;re sad your kids won&apos;t experience, and this week we are joined by one of my favorite TikTok cooks in the biz, Matthew Bounds, who talks to us about his sudden rise to fame, how he amassed an incredibly generous fan base, what it&apos;s like being a gay man in Mississippi, and why he and his husband are confident they don&apos;t ever want kids. (Us either). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh wow, that you&#39;re all you&#39;re taking a deep breath before we&#39;re even starting. David: 0:04 I know. I was just trying to center myself before we start recording. Gavin: 0:07 Okay. David: 0:07 Um Well, I was riffing on it, so I think that was a great start. Yeah. We&#39;re yeah. It&#39;s it&#39;s been that I feel like I&#39;m having sex for the first time. I&#39;m just not quite oh I don&#39;t know. Wow. You go, I go, we go, no, we go, and then it ends in disappointment. And this is Gatriarchs. So Gaben, on January 17th at 6 19 PM, I got a notification on Instagram. Okay. Do you know what that notification might be? Gavin: 0:55 Was it TikTok related? Like Instagram. On Instagram. Oh, well, right, but was Instagram like co-opting all of TikTok&#39;s followers to was it did it have something to do with the impending doom of democracy? Nope. No, you wouldn&#39;t be that. Okay, never mind. It had something to do with Kim Kardashian or Beyonce. David: 1:16 No, I&#39;ll tell you what it was. Oh, geez. The notification said Gavin Lodge followed you. Explain yourself. Gavin: 1:41 I I I I I have I have nothing. I have I I I am a I am an empty crater of soul right now. What&#39;s so what&#39;s what&#39;s even more pathetic than that is that I don&#39;t even remember doing it, frankly. I spent, listen, the bulk of my social media time is spent actually frantically trying to do our social, and I tag you every single time, and I tag myself every single time, and it did not occur to me that I wasn&#39;t following you. Because I see your shit all the time on our feed. It doesn&#39;t occur to me. I I spend so little time on my I&#39;m not I&#39;m not even gonna bother digging out of this hole. David: 2:24 My surprise, my jaw a gate when I thought Gavin love. Two years? First of all, two years into the podcast we&#39;ve been together, let alone 15 years I&#39;ve known you. Gavin: 2:36 93 episodes in. Uh-huh. David: 2:38 Yeah. So anyway, everyone out there, yeah. Gavin: 2:41 Thank you for not hating me for that and making me laugh about it. David: 2:45 My other favorite thing that I&#39;m gonna make fun of you about was Gavin was asking me uh where a certain document was. And Gavin and I have a Google Drive full of every episode, every file, every contract, every email, everything we&#39;ve ever done. It&#39;s where we do all of our business. And Gavin goes, where is that? And I said, Oh, it&#39;s in the Google Drive. And he goes, Oh yeah, I forgot we had one. Gavin: 3:08 Babe, where do you wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This one I will defend myself on. Okay. Wait, what was it? I was looking for our logo, right? Because I had because you know, as you know, Instagram has changed, you know, its formatting, right? So we no longer have squares, we have rectangles so that they can keep up with TikTok, basically. And I needed to redo our logo for our social media posts. And I didn&#39;t know, I thought, oh, whatever. This is never mind. Fine, just make me look dumb. I didn&#39;t know where the logo was, the original logo that you created on Photoshop. David: 3:40 So I figured It&#39;s all fun. It&#39;s all fun and games until somebody doesn&#39;t follow them. All right. Gavin: 3:45 Or gets too defensive about it for his idiocy. Oh, I love being the butt of your jokes, but not being your butt anyway. So this weekend, I need your advice. Okay. How, how to fucking deal with a teenager. I mean, remember that I&#39;m sure we&#39;ve joked about how Tina Faye has her famous thing about like living with a teenager is like having a work crush, and you&#39;re always kind of like, hi, um, I don&#39;t mean to bother you, but you know, there is so much walking on eggshells with a teenager where you&#39;re kind of like, I don&#39;t know what monster is gonna come out today. I do not now, also, disclaimer for all of the people out there trying to dox me or us about talking shit about our children. I love my child more than oxygen. She&#39;s wonderful. It&#39;s all age appropriate. There&#39;s nothing inappropriate about her behavior. But she is, but she is absolutely bonkers. You do not know what animal is gonna come out day to day. And so this weekend, we met a family of mine in Providence because it&#39;s halfway. They live in Massachusetts, so we met halfway. And we were gonna have lunch and just go for a walk around the Brown University campus just because like it was something to do, right? And it was max two hours. I mean, we got burritos at some like super divey campusy joint. And then we just walked around the campus because, like, what else are we gonna do? We weren&#39;t gonna go shopping, we weren&#39;t going to, we weren&#39;t gonna force my kids to see a museum or anything. Anyway, I mean, this is what, by the way, what peak white people shit. David: 5:08 You&#39;re like meeting at a university to have lunch and walk the campus. Sorry, I just wanted to point that out. Yes, during Black History Month. Continue. Yep. Gavin: 5:19 Do you did you ever know about um a website 107 years ago when you were just maybe in middle school? Um, called stuff whitepeopleke.com. David: 5:28 No, but it&#39;s I love it already. Gavin: 5:30 It was, I mean, the mockery of whiteness. It was so genius. And I&#39;m sure that walking an Ivy League campus was probably in the top three. Probably. Anyway, so that&#39;s what we were doing. Yeah. And um, the idea of like meeting up with family for the one time a year that we meet with them and then going for a walk. Like, what else do you do, right? Like, even when we were kids, you might be like, hey, we&#39;re gonna go see Aunt Jean and Uncle Henry, and we just meet up, right? Well, anyway, my daughter could not take the fact that we were just going for a walk. This definitely falls under the category of children these days. I know, just get off my lawn, get off. But uh she the idea of being bored is intolerable. And if every damn moment of the day is not adjacent to Disneyland, it is World War III. So the point of this story is I kept my shit together and I said nothing. Because I was keeping up appearances for my uncle and aunt, right? And I wanted them, of course, to think that I was a great parent. But the whole time I was maniacally devising what punishment would happen in one half an hour as we&#39;re walking around trying to find anyway. So my punishment in this case was, or rather, I didn&#39;t want to punish her. I didn&#39;t want to yes, I did want to make her feel bad. But so my punishment was you have to write me a three-page essay. David: 6:53 And I had a whole bunch of questions the most Gavin lodge punishment I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire life. You have to go to a museum and write a dissertation. Gavin: 7:02 So I wrote out a bunch of questions like, why do you think I was disappointed? Why do you think this was disrespectful? Why do you think it&#39;s important to respect your family that you only see once a year? But also, how could I have done this differently? What would have prepped you better? You know? And I feel like it was mildly successful in terms of, you know, I didn&#39;t scream in the moment. We debriefed it afterwards when everybody was calm. She did apologize. She&#39;s like, I know, I know, I was a jerk, I know. But then, but then the takeaway from it all is basically she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t like surprises, and I don&#39;t want you to. You told me we were just having lunch. I didn&#39;t know we were gonna go for a walk. And I&#39;m like, you know, oh, the day. David: 7:45 We&#39;re bipedal, babe. This is what we do. Gavin: 7:49 Back in the day, your parents told you to get in the car. You didn&#39;t ask, where are we going? How long are we gonna be there? What do we have to do? What we just did it, right? David: 7:56 Have we approached now back in the day? I just walked uphill. Okay, all right. Gavin: 8:01 Absolutely, absolutely. Anyway, but she I do appreciate that she said, just please don&#39;t spring surprises on me and let me know what to expect. Which I know if I had said, and we&#39;re gonna go for a walk across an Ivy League campus for an hour, I&#39;m pissed. It wouldn&#39;t have been as bad as the behavior that elicited it. Anyway, what is my takeaway from all that? Apparently, I have a child who hates surprises, and I was not quite as much of an asshole as I usually am. David: 8:27 I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t know. Uh I I don&#39;t have obviously I have young kids, five and three, and my three-year-old is a challenge. Um, and I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m gonna do when they&#39;re in adult bodies because right now I like, I&#39;m just like blow it up and walk away. Like I&#39;m like starve, and then I just like leave, or I, or I sh put them down in the naughty corner and I turn on a timer, or I just lock them in the bathroom or something, or chain them to the tree outside, or you know, like normal things. Yeah. Um and so because I don&#39;t have the I&#39;ve said this before, I don&#39;t have the emotional maturity to negotiate and thought I get so enraged by a three-year-old girl, by a three-year-old girl, I just I get my blood boils so hard. The thought of that coming from a 13-year-old girl in an adult body who can just I just don&#39;t know how I I&#39;m gonna have to develop some real emotional maturity before my kids get older. Gavin: 9:24 That&#39;s why I am here taking your abuse constantly on a weekly basis, is I do feel like this is my volunteer giving back, is to impart my knowledge on you so that you can completely forget it. But ultimately, I&#39;ll get a text from you in 10 years that&#39;s like, okay, you were right. You were right. But you know what? David: 9:41 It like my thought was my my first thought was like, then just you don&#39;t bring her anywhere, and the punishment is she doesn&#39;t get to go anywhere. But actually, that&#39;s exactly what she wants. But that but I was just gonna say, she would love that, and that doesn&#39;t help her grow. Gavin: 9:53 Like, I get all the things that she&#39;s gonna deal with the coping mechanisms of just like dealing with boredom once in a while. Listen, I didn&#39;t want to walk around Brown&#39;s campus. Are you kidding me? It was totally boring. Oh no, it wasn&#39;t actually totally like the architecture, it&#39;s white culture, Gavin. David: 10:08 You love it. Rice Krispie treats, boiled chicken, walking Ivy League school campuses. Gavin: 10:12 Doubling down, doubling down on the whiteness they were having, they were having an a cappella group festival. David: 10:19 Oh my god. I apologize to all of our POC listeners right now for Gavin and his absolute refusal to acknowledge. Gavin: 10:28 But all of those students, it was it was not it was not a bunch of white people, that&#39;s for sure. It was um there was lots of diversity in these a cappella groups that were so wholesome and so earnest about their a cappella, which spoiler alert, I was in an a cappella group. I know like you act like this is a surprise to me that you&#39;re saying this. David: 10:47 Like, of course this makes sense. Oh, wait, listen, you you initially had asked for my advice, but then you ended up not asking for the advice. Yeah, I don&#39;t have advice because I don&#39;t know. I I not again, I&#39;m not emotionally mature enough to handle it. So I&#39;m gonna counter your ask by another ask by asking your advice. Um, is I am now at the phase where my kids more than half the time demand I wipe their butt. In fact, my my son the other day said, Come in here, wipe my butt. I said, No. And he screamed at the top of his lungs, wipe my glorious butt. And I was like, uh uh, and so I need some advice on how do I break this, other than just like let the because if I just don&#39;t do it, they&#39;ll like half wipe and then they just have shitty ass all day. Yeah, and so rashes and discomfort and and this is not a what would you do, which is coming up. Oh yeah, I have a real what would you do. Gavin: 11:40 I I do remember that time thinking, bending over the back of the backside of my kid as they lean forward and I&#39;m like, and I&#39;m like, this is what my life has become. David: 11:50 And they&#39;re like, don&#39;t wipe too hard. Yeah, I&#39;m like, this is a wet wipe. We have to wipe our butts with leaves in the day. Yeah, we sure did. We sure did. Gavin: 11:58 I mean, I am speechless as to how you do that. What is the mental trick? I mean, do you incentivize? Do you say, hey, you get three MMs if you do it yourself, that kind of thing. I mean, they do have to eventually learn to do it. They have to learn that if they don&#39;t do it well enough, they&#39;re gonna have discomfort and they&#39;re gonna have our issues and whatnot. So, I mean, have you thought about just bribing them? Because that&#39;s what parenting is about, is bribers. David: 12:25 Also, like the I&#39;m just so proud of us for the consistency of our podcast of being unhelpful, answering no questions whatsoever. People out there like, well, so what do we do with our teens? What do we do with our butt wiping? I don&#39;t know. Throw MMs at them and leave them home. unknown: 12:39 Yes. David: 12:39 That&#39;s our advice today. Gavin: 12:41 That is our advice. Throw MMs at them and leave them at home. David: 12:44 And um and give up. All right. Well, this has been really wonderful, but let me actually ask you. Okay, I have a very rare moment of asking you for a what would you do. SPEAKER_03: 12:55 What would you do? Gavin: 13:00 What would you do? David: 13:02 No. Oh, God. Um, okay. Gavin: 13:05 I thought you would sing it. Why not? David: 13:06 No, I actually can&#39;t do it any better than I can. I just play the clip every time. I let the professionals do it. So I was at a children&#39;s play place over the weekend. You know the kind, you know I&#39;m there every weekend. Petri Dish. And there was a woman there who had a very young baby who was breastfeeding her baby. And I walked by, I was like sitting kind of adjacent to her, and I looked over at her, and like the baby was being cute or whatever. And I just like was smiled at the baby. And I was just thinking about, I don&#39;t know, I haven&#39;t had an infant, but feels like forever, even though it was just, you know, two ago. Um, but I was just like having a sweet moment of, you know, that thing that we all do, we forget all the hard parts. We&#39;re just like, oh, I have to have a little baby again. And then I kind of glance back up, and there&#39;s her and her husband glaring daggers at me. Because what they think is that I&#39;ve been staring at her naked titty out the whole time and smiling like a fucking cheetah about to eat their prey. And I was like, oh my God. And my first instinct, as we are, as we as gay people know, like when we&#39;re in a parking garage alone with a single woman, is to gay it up. Yeah, just faggot me all the way, just to be like, girl, you are safe with me. Gavin: 14:19 Springing and let&#39;s talk about Taylor spraying purses and pearls out of your mouth. David: 14:23 Throw pillows out of my butthole. And so I literally froze. I didn&#39;t know what to do. So, Gavin, I ask you, what would you do? Gavin: 14:35 That was...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets an instagram notification that rocks his world, Gavin introduces his daughter to white culture, David has a &#34;what would you do?&#34; for Gavin for once, we rank the top 3 things in your childhood you&apos;re sad your kids won&apos;t experience, and this week we are joined by one of my favorite TikTok cooks in the biz, Matthew Bounds, who talks to us about his sudden rise to fame, how he amassed an incredibly generous fan base, what it&apos;s like being a gay man in Mississippi, and why he and his husband are confident they don&apos;t ever want kids. (Us either). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh wow, that you&#39;re all you&#39;re taking a deep breath before we&#39;re even starting. David: 0:04 I know. I was just trying to center myself before we start recording. Gavin: 0:07 Okay. David: 0:07 Um Well, I was riffing on it, so I think that was a great start. Yeah. We&#39;re yeah. It&#39;s it&#39;s been that I feel like I&#39;m having sex for the first time. I&#39;m just not quite oh I don&#39;t know. Wow. You go, I go, we go, no, we go, and then it ends in disappointment. And this is Gatriarchs. So Gaben, on January 17th at 6 19 PM, I got a notification on Instagram. Okay. Do you know what that notification might be? Gavin: 0:55 Was it TikTok related? Like Instagram. On Instagram. Oh, well, right, but was Instagram like co-opting all of TikTok&#39;s followers to was it did it have something to do with the impending doom of democracy? Nope. No, you wouldn&#39;t be that. Okay, never mind. It had something to do with Kim Kardashian or Beyonce. David: 1:16 No, I&#39;ll tell you what it was. Oh, geez. The notification said Gavin Lodge followed you. Explain yourself. Gavin: 1:41 I I I I I have I have nothing. I have I I I am a I am an empty crater of soul right now. What&#39;s so what&#39;s what&#39;s even more pathetic than that is that I don&#39;t even remember doing it, frankly. I spent, listen, the bulk of my social media time is spent actually frantically trying to do our social, and I tag you every single time, and I tag myself every single time, and it did not occur to me that I wasn&#39;t following you. Because I see your shit all the time on our feed. It doesn&#39;t occur to me. I I spend so little time on my I&#39;m not I&#39;m not even gonna bother digging out of this hole. David: 2:24 My surprise, my jaw a gate when I thought Gavin love. Two years? First of all, two years into the podcast we&#39;ve been together, let alone 15 years I&#39;ve known you. Gavin: 2:36 93 episodes in. Uh-huh. David: 2:38 Yeah. So anyway, everyone out there, yeah. Gavin: 2:41 Thank you for not hating me for that and making me laugh about it. David: 2:45 My other favorite thing that I&#39;m gonna make fun of you about was Gavin was asking me uh where a certain document was. And Gavin and I have a Google Drive full of every episode, every file, every contract, every email, everything we&#39;ve ever done. It&#39;s where we do all of our business. And Gavin goes, where is that? And I said, Oh, it&#39;s in the Google Drive. And he goes, Oh yeah, I forgot we had one. Gavin: 3:08 Babe, where do you wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This one I will defend myself on. Okay. Wait, what was it? I was looking for our logo, right? Because I had because you know, as you know, Instagram has changed, you know, its formatting, right? So we no longer have squares, we have rectangles so that they can keep up with TikTok, basically. And I needed to redo our logo for our social media posts. And I didn&#39;t know, I thought, oh, whatever. This is never mind. Fine, just make me look dumb. I didn&#39;t know where the logo was, the original logo that you created on Photoshop. David: 3:40 So I figured It&#39;s all fun. It&#39;s all fun and games until somebody doesn&#39;t follow them. All right. Gavin: 3:45 Or gets]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets an instagram notification that rocks his world, Gavin introduces his daughter to white culture, David has a &#34;what would you do?&#34; for Gavin for once, we rank the top 3 things in your childhood you&apos;re sad your kids won&apos;t experience, and this week we are joined by one of my favorite TikTok cooks in the biz, Matthew Bounds, who talks to us about his sudden rise to fame, how he amassed an incredibly generous fan base, what it&apos;s like being a gay man in Mississippi, and why he and his husband are confident they don&apos;t ever want kids. (Us either). Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh wow, that you&#39;re all you&#39;re taking a deep breath before we&#39;re even starting. David: 0:04 I know. I was just trying to center myself before we start recording. Gavin: 0:07 Okay. David: 0:07 Um Well, I was riffing on it, so I think th]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with rugby star Keegan Hirst</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-rugby-star-keegan-hirst/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week our listener comes for us for being bi, David&apos;s son is no longer in the wolf pack, Gavin won&apos;t use public restrooms, we argue about the top 3 Disney songs (and Gavin gets it all wrong), and this week we are joined by our favorite gay British professional rugby player Keegan Hirst who talks to us about him coming out after being in a straight marriage, how his kids took it, and why rugby players have such amazing asses. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This week is our No. This week is my week. Disney and pooping? That was stupid. That was kind of weird. David: 0:06 Do you want to try that again? And this is Gatriarchs. Kind of. So my son comes home from school and he&#39;s very sad. And I&#39;m like, what&#39;s going on? And he won&#39;t tell me. And he&#39;s just being pouty in the car, and I&#39;m basically not paying attention, right? Um. And then he gets home, and I finally am like, what&#39;s going on? He goes, I&#39;m not in the wolf pack anymore. Oh I said, What&#39;s the wolf pack? Evidently, in kindergarten, there&#39;s a wolf pack. And this is like a secret exclusive group of kids that have become friends. Gavin: 0:55 These social, those teenage social dynamics already destroying your child&#39;s kindergarten experience. David: 1:00 Yep. And he literally was like, I was in the wolf pack. And then Emma said, I&#39;m no longer in the wolf pack. And it broke his fucking spirit. Yeah. And and do you know what I wanted to do? Rip Emma&#39;s head off? I wanted to push her into the ocean. I was maybe I shouldn&#39;t start off the episode by murdering children. But I was like, it was like the first time I was like, wait a minute, why are you fucking with my kid? And of course, this is schoolyard bullshit. It matters though. But it feels like it enrages me. Oh, totally, yeah. And it&#39;s and I was like, you are a member of the wolf pack, goddammit. You&#39;re a member of my wolf pack, and we are wolves, and you know, so anyway. Gavin: 1:36 Wow. I mean, those those schoolyard playground dynamics, they start early. They can be so vicious. David: 1:44 Um as a dad, you&#39;re like, do I go in and murder a child or I let him do his own? Because you kind of want to you want to play it real cool. You&#39;re like, oh, who cares about the wolf pack? You&#39;re a great kid or whatever. It doesn&#39;t matter, right? But then you know it fucking matters. You gotta be in that motherfucking wolf pack. Yeah. If you&#39;re not in the wolf pack, you&#39;re out, babe. Gavin: 2:04 Yeah, yeah. That&#39;s oh, that is really, really rough because it is. We don&#39;t want our kids to care. We want them to know that it&#39;s just what inside that counts, and all the superficial things don&#39;t matter, but it just matters that you do. David: 2:15 You gotta be in the wolf pack and you gotta have six-pack abs. That&#39;s it. Gavin: 2:21 And I mean, we don&#39;t want our kids to grow up to aspire to be in mean girls, and we don&#39;t, but yet we do want them to be at the top of the social ladder because we don&#39;t want them to suffer because we know. I mean, frankly, 99% of us gay boys, we are interesting, fun people, frankly, because we got we built the character because we were not in the wolf pack, and we had to figure it out. And so ultimately, you want your kid to be in the wolf pack, but at the same time, you don&#39;t because the assholes are in the wolf pack. So you don&#39;t want your kid to be, oh geez. David: 2:51 You want them, it&#39;s like anything. You want them to be asked to be in the wolf pack, but then them turn them down. Yeah. No thanks. I don&#39;t need I&#39;m better than you. But but yeah, you you you got it totally right. Like, you gotta be in the wolf pack. Oh, that is yeah. Listen, I only hear things secondhand from my son who lies all the time. So I never really know, I never know what&#39;s real. So I don&#39;t want to actually carry out some some form of you know, um, of crime. But uh it it is sometimes I&#39;ll hear things and I&#39;m like, oh man, I want to do something. And I&#39;m like, maybe he lied. He also said, I think I told you when he was in pre-K, he would tell the teacher we went to Disney last week, and he had stories about the rides he was on and the snacks. Gavin: 3:32 I mean, being an imaginative, colorful storyteller is an important thing. He&#39;ll have a maybe he&#39;ll have a podcast one day. Oh god, I hope not. Speaking of podcasts, guess what? Nice transition. Did you know we&#39;re on OnlyFans now? Well, I I yeah sorta. SPEAKER_01: 3:47 Yeah. Gavin: 3:47 So reaching into our vast grab bag of mail from our fan, we were delighted to be told by Rosie. Hi, Rosie. So Rosie let us know she&#39;s tired of us being bi. And I I I admit, I started to read this and I thought, oh no, we&#39;re being we&#39;re we&#39;re canceled. We made a joke about bisexuality somewhere and now we&#39;re canceled. Which isn&#39;t real. David: 4:11 Bisexuality is not real. Continue. Yep. unknown: 4:13 Yep. Gavin: 4:14 But I say, hey, all of you bisexuals come to us. I believe in you. I believe in you. You be as bi as you want to be. You sleep with whomever you want to be. Anyway, you want to sleep with anyway. Uh she told Rosie told us to stop being bi. And by bi, she meant bi weekly. And what do you need guests for anyway? And she appreciates us just bantering. And then she wrote, she signed off as your only fan, which is how I read it. Only fan, Rosie. David: 4:41 So but I also appreciate she gets the joke, right? She knows that she&#39;s the listener, she&#39;s the only fan. And I will say, Rosie, Rosie is one of many people who were very disappointed in us for going back to buy. We we are we got a lot of heat for this. Gavin: 4:55 Well, I appreciate Rosie, all of um the subtext here. And um, so you know what, David? I think that we should give this a try. Now, let&#39;s do it. Hey, for Rosie and other and the other people who are not out there. Um, what one of the biggest challenges with doing this fantastic lay labor of love is finding guests because people are just busy and it&#39;s just hard to schedule. Now, of course, people are clamoring to get onto the show, but it&#39;s just hard to schedule sometimes. And so that&#39;s why we were doing ourselves a favor and taking a little bit of time off. But you know what? Maybe we can just wing it, huh? And find another res reason for the show besides highlighting guests, shall we? David: 5:29 So that so that was Gavin&#39;s long-winded answer of saying, starting next week, we are going back to basics, we&#39;re going back to our weekly pay drops, we&#39;re no longer bi. We&#39;re gay the way God made us. And that&#39;s it. So thank you, Rosie, for reading us a little bit and all the other people who DM&#39;d us their disappointment and our bi-weekly. But listen, it was the holidays. So um also during the holidays, uh, I had a hospital experience. I had a friend visiting me, and he had to go to the hospital for a thing, and he had to have surgery, and he was there for a long time. And he had no family up here. So I was at the hospital with him every single day. And it was really weird because I had this like flashback to being in the hospital for a week with the birth of my children. Oh, and it was such an interesting, like it was just it was like I was going back, and you know, the first couple of days you&#39;re nervous, and will I break things? And I&#39;m in a hospital, and is it sad? Isn&#39;t it whatever? And by the end, you&#39;re high-fiving the janitor because you know when she gets off her shift and all that kind of stuff. And also, the thing that I think I&#39;ve we&#39;ve we&#39;ve done as a dad hack here is steal shit. You&#39;re gonna be presented with a$4,000 hospital bill. So take everything on the way out. Everything. What did you respond with? Oh, I took shit that I didn&#39;t need. They&#39;re like, Do you need these colostomy bags? I&#39;m like, I sure do. I could put fruit in them. But it, but it was it&#39;s so true. When when when my kids were born, uh somebody told me this. And every time the nurses would change their shift, I would hide all of the stuff they gave me in our suitcase, and I would tell the nurses, hey, we&#39;re out of bottles and diapers and whatever. We left with 20 bags worth of all of the shit. And it was that was a very good call. Gavin: 7:12 Oh, yeah. It was nothing. I mean, and obviously we teach our children to be to tell the truth and never steal, but we are nothing if not what? Hypocrites. And also, what are you taking money from? Like United Healthcare. I mean, maybe don&#39;t kick them while they&#39;re down, but still, point being like uh you&#39;re not stealing from you&#39;re stealing from the man, not the people. So good, good for you. That&#39;s a really good dad hack. Should we just leave it at that? Yeah. Um, speaking of um colostomy bags, I want to know you&#39;ve still got kids. You&#39;ve got your daughter is still in diapers, right? David: 7:46 She just got potty trained last month. We are now diaper free. Gavin: 7:50 You&#39;re screwing up my story. Let&#39;s go back. You still have a kid in diapers, right? Yes. What do you do at the playground when they desperately need to go to the bathroom? And let me set this up with I um luckily when my kids were really little, we were still living in New York City. Some playgrounds have bathrooms. Most, of course, do not. And those bathrooms, I mean, my kids witnessed their very first drug deal, and I am not exaggerating. No, that is not, I&#39;m not exaggerating at all. They saw a drug deal take place. The guys were really nice, you know. They were like, ooh, sorry, man. David: 8:23 And they were that&#39;s what we love about the city. Our drug dealers, our murderers, they&#39;re really kind people. Gavin: 8:29 People are just trying to get their molly, man. They are just, they gotta do some deals, right? They were very respectful, they got out of the way and left the bathroom to me and my children. But um, those people who would, I&#39;m not gonna lie, I judge those people who bring those little the plastic toilets with the baggie. Like, I want my kid to have some dignity and not be sitting and shitting in the playground for all the world to see. And yet at the same time, that&#39;s better than like having to suddenly, I don&#39;t know, or run across to the restaurant. Uh I never had to do that. David: 9:02 Um, we just are you talking about a diaper changing station or using the toilet? Gavin: 9:07 Using the toilet. Like when you&#39;re potty training a kid, do you have the little toilet deal right there to make your squat in public pooping or peeing? You know, we did. So, anyway, how do you deal with it all? David: 9:19 Well, we did the um the three-day naked thing, which I think most people do at this point. And once you are kind of after those three days, you kind of we just we never brought the the toilet anywhere. We had one in our trunk, we never ever used it. Um, we would just make them go to the bathroom right before we left. Gavin: 9:35 You just did not forget that you have to go to the bathroom before you walk out the door. David: 9:40 But also, we are well, listen, we&#39;re hardcore with all this stuff. We are like, if you have to go to the bathroom, you sit on the the cocaine-infused toilet here in the New York City Park. Like, we don&#39;t bring special toilets, you poop on the public potty. Yeah. You, yeah, yeah, totally. Gavin: 9:54 Which life is so much easier if you can poop in public, right? And by public, I mean in a public restroom. Like totally. David: 10:00 I feel like people say all the time, they&#39;re like, Oh, I can&#39;t poop in public. I&#39;m like, right, I don&#39;t have the bowel control to decide that I don&#39;t want to poop in Herald Square. I&#39;m in Herald Square, I have to poop. I&#39;m going to the Macy&#39;s, going to the sixth floor where it&#39;s luggage and nobody uses that floor, but there&#39;s a bathroom up there. Gavin: 10:19 Also, now that I live on a dirt road in Connecticut, I we do a fair amount of hiking. And from a very young age, I wanted to say to my kids, listen, you gotta go. That&#39;s fine. And if it&#39;s number two, you pull those pants down to your ankles and you squat down like Mother Nature intended us to poop, and you just do it. And if you grab some leaves, so be it. Like I&#39;m I just I just don&#39;t leave the house without wipes on me. David: 10:42 Oh, yeah. Like I have pooped in public so many. You and I grew up, not grew up, but we lived in New York City for a really long time. Uh-huh. There is not always bathrooms. Sometimes you have to poop on the subway platform. I have so many fucking stories of wait pooping. Oh, I I this is not the time or place. We have a really, really fancy guest today, and I don&#39;t want to, I don&#39;t want to soil his episode. Um, but I have pooped in some public places that would blow your mind. But I I in the car where I live now, and also in every bag we have and every location we go, there is a there&#39;s a package of baby wipes. Yeah, that exactly. unknown: 11:16 Okay. Gavin: 11:17 No. Well, all of this talk of the New York City Subway, Herald Square, and pooping makes me think of what? Our top three list. Gate triarks, top three list, three, two, one. David: 11:29 This week is my week, and I don&#39;t know why you did that segue the way you did, because uh this week our top three list is what are the top three Disney songs? This is hard. I you when I told you last week about them, you were like, Oh yeah, got him. I I struggled because I was like, top three is in like greatest quality, the most famous ones, the ones I love the most. Gavin: 11:49 So you gotta just go with your gut. With when there&#39;s no parameters, you just gotta for for me. I&#39;m actually prepared this week, and they&#39;re just the three songs that I that I fully enjoy the most. David: 12:00 So for me, I did something similar. Basically, what is the thing that just like fills my spirit for whatever reason? Okay. So uh in number three from not the end well semi-animated uh movie, How Do You Know from Enchanted? Oh you know, huh? Oh, that&#39;s a good song. There&#39;s just that like calypso beat that is just like so delicious. I fucking love that song. Um, number two, classic, Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Really? Listen, Angela. What the fuck is the matter with you? Arguably one of the top five greatest. I can&#39;t, I I I&#39;m gonna hang up right now. Beauty and the Beast. Angela Lansberry. Do you know the story behind the song where they were like, here&#39;s the song we want you to sing? And she was like, I don&#39;t want to sing it, I can&#39;t sing it. I&#39;m not a singer anymore. I&#39;m I&#39;m my voice is too crackly, I don&#39;t know. And they were like, please, please, please. We don&#39;t want it to sound you know super crispy and beautiful. We just just sing it with heart. And she was like, fine, I&#39;m gonna do one take, and that&#39;s it. Wow, that&#39;s the take we have, and it&#39;s that&#39;s I hate you. The just the vibe you&#39;re giving me right now is really sending me. Um, and number one, I would be shocked if there&#39;s not any crossover for us. Part of your world from The Little Mermaid. SPEAKER_01: 13:17 Kevin, seriously. David: 13:19 What is I I I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m you&#39;re fired. Um, I hate to do this in public at the end of January, but you&#39;re fired. Your reaction, I thought you were gonna yes and all of this. Gavin: 13:32 I am this is this is the least on the same vibe that we&#39;ve ever been. And that&#39;s all right. Listen to your top three lists. Get ready...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week our listener comes for us for being bi, David&apos;s son is no longer in the wolf pack, Gavin won&apos;t use public restrooms, we argue about the top 3 Disney songs (and Gavin gets it all wrong), and this week we are joined by our favorite gay ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week our listener comes for us for being bi, David&apos;s son is no longer in the wolf pack, Gavin won&apos;t use public restrooms, we argue about the top 3 Disney songs (and Gavin gets it all wrong), and this week we are joined by our favorite gay British professional rugby player Keegan Hirst who talks to us about him coming out after being in a straight marriage, how his kids took it, and why rugby players have such amazing asses. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This week is our No. This week is my week. Disney and pooping? That was stupid. That was kind of weird. David: 0:06 Do you want to try that again? And this is Gatriarchs. Kind of. So my son comes home from school and he&#39;s very sad. And I&#39;m like, what&#39;s going on? And he won&#39;t tell me. And he&#39;s just being pouty in the car, and I&#39;m basically not paying attention, right? Um. And then he gets home, and I finally am like, what&#39;s going on? He goes, I&#39;m not in the wolf pack anymore. Oh I said, What&#39;s the wolf pack? Evidently, in kindergarten, there&#39;s a wolf pack. And this is like a secret exclusive group of kids that have become friends. Gavin: 0:55 These social, those teenage social dynamics already destroying your child&#39;s kindergarten experience. David: 1:00 Yep. And he literally was like, I was in the wolf pack. And then Emma said, I&#39;m no longer in the wolf pack. And it broke his fucking spirit. Yeah. And and do you know what I wanted to do? Rip Emma&#39;s head off? I wanted to push her into the ocean. I was maybe I shouldn&#39;t start off the episode by murdering children. But I was like, it was like the first time I was like, wait a minute, why are you fucking with my kid? And of course, this is schoolyard bullshit. It matters though. But it feels like it enrages me. Oh, totally, yeah. And it&#39;s and I was like, you are a member of the wolf pack, goddammit. You&#39;re a member of my wolf pack, and we are wolves, and you know, so anyway. Gavin: 1:36 Wow. I mean, those those schoolyard playground dynamics, they start early. They can be so vicious. David: 1:44 Um as a dad, you&#39;re like, do I go in and murder a child or I let him do his own? Because you kind of want to you want to play it real cool. You&#39;re like, oh, who cares about the wolf pack? You&#39;re a great kid or whatever. It doesn&#39;t matter, right? But then you know it fucking matters. You gotta be in that motherfucking wolf pack. Yeah. If you&#39;re not in the wolf pack, you&#39;re out, babe. Gavin: 2:04 Yeah, yeah. That&#39;s oh, that is really, really rough because it is. We don&#39;t want our kids to care. We want them to know that it&#39;s just what inside that counts, and all the superficial things don&#39;t matter, but it just matters that you do. David: 2:15 You gotta be in the wolf pack and you gotta have six-pack abs. That&#39;s it. Gavin: 2:21 And I mean, we don&#39;t want our kids to grow up to aspire to be in mean girls, and we don&#39;t, but yet we do want them to be at the top of the social ladder because we don&#39;t want them to suffer because we know. I mean, frankly, 99% of us gay boys, we are interesting, fun people, frankly, because we got we built the character because we were not in the wolf pack, and we had to figure it out. And so ultimately, you want your kid to be in the wolf pack, but at the same time, you don&#39;t because the assholes are in the wolf pack. So you don&#39;t want your kid to be, oh geez. David: 2:51 You want them, it&#39;s like anything. You want them to be asked to be in the wolf pack, but then them turn them down. Yeah. No thanks. I don&#39;t need I&#39;m better than you. But but yeah, you you you got it totally right. Like, you gotta be in the wolf pack. Oh, that is yeah. Listen, I only hear things secondhand from my son who lies all the time. So I never really know, I never know what&#39;s real. So I don&#39;t want to actually carry out some some form of you know, um, of crime. But uh it it is sometimes I&#39;ll hear things and I&#39;m like, oh man, I want to do something. And I&#39;m like, maybe he lied. He also said, I think I told you when he was in pre-K, he would tell the teacher we went to Disney last week, and he had stories about the rides he was on and the snacks. Gavin: 3:32 I mean, being an imaginative, colorful storyteller is an important thing. He&#39;ll have a maybe he&#39;ll have a podcast one day. Oh god, I hope not. Speaking of podcasts, guess what? Nice transition. Did you know we&#39;re on OnlyFans now? Well, I I yeah sorta. SPEAKER_01: 3:47 Yeah. Gavin: 3:47 So reaching into our vast grab bag of mail from our fan, we were delighted to be told by Rosie. Hi, Rosie. So Rosie let us know she&#39;s tired of us being bi. And I I I admit, I started to read this and I thought, oh no, we&#39;re being we&#39;re we&#39;re canceled. We made a joke about bisexuality somewhere and now we&#39;re canceled. Which isn&#39;t real. David: 4:11 Bisexuality is not real. Continue. Yep. unknown: 4:13 Yep. Gavin: 4:14 But I say, hey, all of you bisexuals come to us. I believe in you. I believe in you. You be as bi as you want to be. You sleep with whomever you want to be. Anyway, you want to sleep with anyway. Uh she told Rosie told us to stop being bi. And by bi, she meant bi weekly. And what do you need guests for anyway? And she appreciates us just bantering. And then she wrote, she signed off as your only fan, which is how I read it. Only fan, Rosie. David: 4:41 So but I also appreciate she gets the joke, right? She knows that she&#39;s the listener, she&#39;s the only fan. And I will say, Rosie, Rosie is one of many people who were very disappointed in us for going back to buy. We we are we got a lot of heat for this. Gavin: 4:55 Well, I appreciate Rosie, all of um the subtext here. And um, so you know what, David? I think that we should give this a try. Now, let&#39;s do it. Hey, for Rosie and other and the other people who are not out there. Um, what one of the biggest challenges with doing this fantastic lay labor of love is finding guests because people are just busy and it&#39;s just hard to schedule. Now, of course, people are clamoring to get onto the show, but it&#39;s just hard to schedule sometimes. And so that&#39;s why we were doing ourselves a favor and taking a little bit of time off. But you know what? Maybe we can just wing it, huh? And find another res reason for the show besides highlighting guests, shall we? David: 5:29 So that so that was Gavin&#39;s long-winded answer of saying, starting next week, we are going back to basics, we&#39;re going back to our weekly pay drops, we&#39;re no longer bi. We&#39;re gay the way God made us. And that&#39;s it. So thank you, Rosie, for reading us a little bit and all the other people who DM&#39;d us their disappointment and our bi-weekly. But listen, it was the holidays. So um also during the holidays, uh, I had a hospital experience. I had a friend visiting me, and he had to go to the hospital for a thing, and he had to have surgery, and he was there for a long time. And he had no family up here. So I was at the hospital with him every single day. And it was really weird because I had this like flashback to being in the hospital for a week with the birth of my children. Oh, and it was such an interesting, like it was just it was like I was going back, and you know, the first couple of days you&#39;re nervous, and will I break things? And I&#39;m in a hospital, and is it sad? Isn&#39;t it whatever? And by the end, you&#39;re high-fiving the janitor because you know when she gets off her shift and all that kind of stuff. And also, the thing that I think I&#39;ve we&#39;ve we&#39;ve done as a dad hack here is steal shit. You&#39;re gonna be presented with a$4,000 hospital bill. So take everything on the way out. Everything. What did you respond with? Oh, I took shit that I didn&#39;t need. They&#39;re like, Do you need these colostomy bags? I&#39;m like, I sure do. I could put fruit in them. But it, but it was it&#39;s so true. When when when my kids were born, uh somebody told me this. And every time the nurses would change their shift, I would hide all of the stuff they gave me in our suitcase, and I would tell the nurses, hey, we&#39;re out of bottles and diapers and whatever. We left with 20 bags worth of all of the shit. And it was that was a very good call. Gavin: 7:12 Oh, yeah. It was nothing. I mean, and obviously we teach our children to be to tell the truth and never steal, but we are nothing if not what? Hypocrites. And also, what are you taking money from? Like United Healthcare. I mean, maybe don&#39;t kick them while they&#39;re down, but still, point being like uh you&#39;re not stealing from you&#39;re stealing from the man, not the people. So good, good for you. That&#39;s a really good dad hack. Should we just leave it at that? Yeah. Um, speaking of um colostomy bags, I want to know you&#39;ve still got kids. You&#39;ve got your daughter is still in diapers, right? David: 7:46 She just got potty trained last month. We are now diaper free. Gavin: 7:50 You&#39;re screwing up my story. Let&#39;s go back. You still have a kid in diapers, right? Yes. What do you do at the playground when they desperately need to go to the bathroom? And let me set this up with I um luckily when my kids were really little, we were still living in New York City. Some playgrounds have bathrooms. Most, of course, do not. And those bathrooms, I mean, my kids witnessed their very first drug deal, and I am not exaggerating. No, that is not, I&#39;m not exaggerating at all. They saw a drug deal take place. The guys were really nice, you know. They were like, ooh, sorry, man. David: 8:23 And they were that&#39;s what we love about the city. Our drug dealers, our murderers, they&#39;re really kind people. Gavin: 8:29 People are just trying to get their molly, man. They are just, they gotta do some deals, right? They were very respectful, they got out of the way and left the bathroom to me and my children. But um, those people who would, I&#39;m not gonna lie, I judge those people who bring those little the plastic toilets with the baggie. Like, I want my kid to have some dignity and not be sitting and shitting in the playground for all the world to see. And yet at the same time, that&#39;s better than like having to suddenly, I don&#39;t know, or run across to the restaurant. Uh I never had to do that. David: 9:02 Um, we just are you talking about a diaper changing station or using the toilet? Gavin: 9:07 Using the toilet. Like when you&#39;re potty training a kid, do you have the little toilet deal right there to make your squat in public pooping or peeing? You know, we did. So, anyway, how do you deal with it all? David: 9:19 Well, we did the um the three-day naked thing, which I think most people do at this point. And once you are kind of after those three days, you kind of we just we never brought the the toilet anywhere. We had one in our trunk, we never ever used it. Um, we would just make them go to the bathroom right before we left. Gavin: 9:35 You just did not forget that you have to go to the bathroom before you walk out the door. David: 9:40 But also, we are well, listen, we&#39;re hardcore with all this stuff. We are like, if you have to go to the bathroom, you sit on the the cocaine-infused toilet here in the New York City Park. Like, we don&#39;t bring special toilets, you poop on the public potty. Yeah. You, yeah, yeah, totally. Gavin: 9:54 Which life is so much easier if you can poop in public, right? And by public, I mean in a public restroom. Like totally. David: 10:00 I feel like people say all the time, they&#39;re like, Oh, I can&#39;t poop in public. I&#39;m like, right, I don&#39;t have the bowel control to decide that I don&#39;t want to poop in Herald Square. I&#39;m in Herald Square, I have to poop. I&#39;m going to the Macy&#39;s, going to the sixth floor where it&#39;s luggage and nobody uses that floor, but there&#39;s a bathroom up there. Gavin: 10:19 Also, now that I live on a dirt road in Connecticut, I we do a fair amount of hiking. And from a very young age, I wanted to say to my kids, listen, you gotta go. That&#39;s fine. And if it&#39;s number two, you pull those pants down to your ankles and you squat down like Mother Nature intended us to poop, and you just do it. And if you grab some leaves, so be it. Like I&#39;m I just I just don&#39;t leave the house without wipes on me. David: 10:42 Oh, yeah. Like I have pooped in public so many. You and I grew up, not grew up, but we lived in New York City for a really long time. Uh-huh. There is not always bathrooms. Sometimes you have to poop on the subway platform. I have so many fucking stories of wait pooping. Oh, I I this is not the time or place. We have a really, really fancy guest today, and I don&#39;t want to, I don&#39;t want to soil his episode. Um, but I have pooped in some public places that would blow your mind. But I I in the car where I live now, and also in every bag we have and every location we go, there is a there&#39;s a package of baby wipes. Yeah, that exactly. unknown: 11:16 Okay. Gavin: 11:17 No. Well, all of this talk of the New York City Subway, Herald Square, and pooping makes me think of what? Our top three list. Gate triarks, top three list, three, two, one. David: 11:29 This week is my week, and I don&#39;t know why you did that segue the way you did, because uh this week our top three list is what are the top three Disney songs? This is hard. I you when I told you last week about them, you were like, Oh yeah, got him. I I struggled because I was like, top three is in like greatest quality, the most famous ones, the ones I love the most. Gavin: 11:49 So you gotta just go with your gut. With when there&#39;s no parameters, you just gotta for for me. I&#39;m actually prepared this week, and they&#39;re just the three songs that I that I fully enjoy the most. David: 12:00 So for me, I did something similar. Basically, what is the thing that just like fills my spirit for whatever reason? Okay. So uh in number three from not the end well semi-animated uh movie, How Do You Know from Enchanted? Oh you know, huh? Oh, that&#39;s a good song. There&#39;s just that like calypso beat that is just like so delicious. I fucking love that song. Um, number two, classic, Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Really? Listen, Angela. What the fuck is the matter with you? Arguably one of the top five greatest. I can&#39;t, I I I&#39;m gonna hang up right now. Beauty and the Beast. Angela Lansberry. Do you know the story behind the song where they were like, here&#39;s the song we want you to sing? And she was like, I don&#39;t want to sing it, I can&#39;t sing it. I&#39;m not a singer anymore. I&#39;m I&#39;m my voice is too crackly, I don&#39;t know. And they were like, please, please, please. We don&#39;t want it to sound you know super crispy and beautiful. We just just sing it with heart. And she was like, fine, I&#39;m gonna do one take, and that&#39;s it. Wow, that&#39;s the take we have, and it&#39;s that&#39;s I hate you. The just the vibe you&#39;re giving me right now is really sending me. Um, and number one, I would be shocked if there&#39;s not any crossover for us. Part of your world from The Little Mermaid. SPEAKER_01: 13:17 Kevin, seriously. David: 13:19 What is I I I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m you&#39;re fired. Um, I hate to do this in public at the end of January, but you&#39;re fired. Your reaction, I thought you were gonna yes and all of this. Gavin: 13:32 I am this is this is the least on the same vibe that we&#39;ve ever been. And that&#39;s all right. Listen to your top three lists. Get ready...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week our listener comes for us for being bi, David&apos;s son is no longer in the wolf pack, Gavin won&apos;t use public restrooms, we argue about the top 3 Disney songs (and Gavin gets it all wrong), and this week we are joined by our favorite gay British professional rugby player Keegan Hirst who talks to us about him coming out after being in a straight marriage, how his kids took it, and why rugby players have such amazing asses. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This week is our No. This week is my week. Disney and pooping? That was stupid. That was kind of weird. David: 0:06 Do you want to try that again? And this is Gatriarchs. Kind of. So my son comes home from school and he&#39;s very sad. And I&#39;m like, what&#39;s going on? And he won&#39;t tell me. And he&#39;s just being pouty in the car, and I&#39;m basically not paying attention, right? Um. And then he gets home, and I finally am like, what&#39;s going on? He goes, I&#39;m not in the wolf pack anymore. Oh I said, What&#39;s the wolf pack? Evidently, in kindergarten, there&#39;s a wolf pack. And this is like a secret exclusive group of kids that have become friends. Gavin: 0:55 These social, those teenage social dynamics already destroying your child&#39;s kindergarten experience. David: 1:00 Yep. And he literally was like, I was in the wolf pack. And then Emma said, I&#39;m no longer in the wolf pack. And it broke his fucking spirit. Yeah. And and do you know what I wanted to do? Rip Emma&#39;s head off? I wanted to push her into the ocean. I was maybe I shouldn&#39;t start off the episode by murdering children. But I was like, it was like the first time I was like, wait a minute, why are you fucking with my kid? And of course, this is schoolyard bullshit. It matters though. But it feels like it enrages me. Oh, totally, yeah. And it&#39;s and I was like, you are a member of the wolf pack, goddammit. You&#39;re a member of my wolf pack, and we are wolves, and you know, so anyway. Gavin: 1:36 Wow. I mean, those those schoolyard playground dynamics, they start early. They can be so vicious. David: 1:44 Um as a dad, you&#39;re like, do I go in and murder a child or I let him do his own? Because you kind of want to you want to play it real cool. You&#39;re like, oh, who cares about the wolf pack? You&#39;re a great kid or whatever. It doesn&#39;t matter, right? But then you know it fucking matters. You gotta be in that motherfucking wolf pack. Yeah. If you&#39;re not in the wolf pack, you&#39;re out, babe. Gavin: 2:04 Yeah, yeah. That&#39;s oh, that is really, really rough because it is. We don&#39;t want our kids to care. We want them to know that it&#39;s just what inside that counts, and all the superficial things don&#39;t matter, but it just matters that you do. David: 2:15 You gotta be in the wolf pack and you gotta have six-pack abs. That&#39;s it. Gavin: 2:21 And I mean, we don&#39;t want our kids to grow up to aspire to be in mean girls, and we don&#39;t, but yet we do want them to be at the top of the social ladder because we don&#39;t want them to suffer because we know. I mean, frankly, 99% of us gay boys, we are interesting, fun people, frankly, because we got we built the character because we were not in the wolf pack, and we had to figure it out. And so ultimately, you want your kid to be in the wolf pack, but at the same time, you don&#39;t because the assholes are in the wolf pack. So you don&#39;t want your kid to be, oh geez. David: 2:51 You want them, it&#39;s like anything. You want them to be asked to be in the wolf pack, but then them turn them down. Yeah. No thanks. I don&#39;t need I&#39;m better than you. But but yeah, you you you got it totally right. Like, you gotta be in the wolf pack. Oh, that is yeah. Listen, I only hear things secondhand from my son who lies all the time. So I never really know, I never kno]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week our listener comes for us for being bi, David&apos;s son is no longer in the wolf pack, Gavin won&apos;t use public restrooms, we argue about the top 3 Disney songs (and Gavin gets it all wrong), and this week we are joined by our favorite gay British professional rugby player Keegan Hirst who talks to us about him coming out after being in a straight marriage, how his kids took it, and why rugby players have such amazing asses. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This week is our No. This week is my week. Disney and pooping? That was stupid. That was kind of weird. David: 0:06 Do you want to try that again? And this is Gatriarchs. Kind of. So my son comes home from school and he&#39;s very sad. And I&#39;m like, what&#39;s going on? And he won&#39;t tell me. And he&#39;s just being pouty in the car, and I&#39;m basically not paying attention, right? Um. A]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with attorney Rachel Loftspring</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-attorney-rachel-loftspring/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jan 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David makes a date with a girl and it doesn&apos;t go to plan, we open up the Gaytriarchs mailbag, Gavin finally has some good gay news for once, we admit to the top 3 New Years resolutions we&apos;ve already given up on, and our guest this week is mother, attorney, author, and Ohio&apos;ian Rachel Loftspring who talks to us about her new book, why she got into family law, and what we can do to better prepare ourselves for the next administration. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are we not recording? Gavin: 0:01 Sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s the fires. Blame the fires. Sorry. Let&#39;s see how a genuine my laugh can come out again this time. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:27 So, my favorite place in the world, as you know, the bus stop. And my son has befriended this little girl, and they play together. They sit in the bus together. It&#39;s all friendly. And he&#39;s like, I want to have a play date with her. We say, sure. We get the mom&#39;s phone number. We&#39;re trying to find times. My husband texts her, hey, um, you know, you why don&#39;t you guys come over at, you know, uh four o&#39;clock on Saturday for the play date? And the mom&#39;s response was sure. I could use a few hours to go shopping. I&#39;ll drop her off at four. Gavin: 0:59 Wait, what? unknown: 1:02 No. David: 1:03 So I&#39;m like, we both, he like shows me the phone and I&#39;m like, wait, what? We&#39;re babysitting this girl? No. I thought this was a play date. So wait. Gavin: 1:12 And remind us, wait, Emmett is how old? Five. Okay. So we&#39;re still in. I mean, he&#39;s in kindergarten now, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I have a lot of thoughts about this. David: 1:23 But am I crazy? Like, does that sound great? No, I&#39;m just like, to me, I&#39;m so used to like the awkward, like the parents sit on the couch and like make small talk for an hour and a half. But like, oh, she was like basically like, oh yeah, I&#39;ll just drop my daughter off at your house. Gavin: 1:37 Isn&#39;t that normal? Well, I don&#39;t think so. This hasn&#39;t happened to you before, right? David: 1:41 You have done that for small play dates and they say, What can we bring? They bring bagels, we hang out, or whatever. Right. This was the first time. Now I will say what this is what I will give her. She showed up, and now this was right before Christmas. She showed up a bottle of wine for us, a gift for Emmett, a wrapped gift for our daughter, who is also and some like candy. So she came bearing gifts, but she definitely dropped those kids off or that kid off and then bounced for two hours. Gavin: 2:08 Oh, in December, back when? Oh, okay. I mean, they&#39;re definitely we haven&#39;t talked about this before. I have so many fond memories of sitting around day drinking, Chardonnay with the ladies in um Yeah, because it was never there were a few times there were some dudes who did it. Um, and we would just hang out and make awkward small talk for a while. But also, that&#39;s where you&#39;re absolutely manipulating who you want your kids to be friends with, because you&#39;re like, I&#39;m not gonna sit around with your the kids&#39; lame parents. So you foster the friendships with the cool parents. Yeah. I would say though that by first grade, finally, is where we were like, okay, Julia&#39;s gonna walk home with uh Ellison and they&#39;re and no, no, no, no, please, and you do not need to come over because this is where I actually get some stuff done. I can vacuum the house and stuff like that. David: 2:55 So maybe you did a transition thing for me. Maybe I&#39;m used to the baby play dates, and now this is a car kid blade date. Gavin: 3:02 Kindergarten feels a little young for I mean, you&#39;re still like pissing yourself and might need a nap. And and and then there&#39;s the kids as well. But I think kindergarten it, I you know what, you might need to make peace with leaning into my new normal saying this might you&#39;re you&#39;re coming to a new normal, yeah. Wow. David: 3:20 Look, look, look, look, baby, little babies growing up. Um, and little podcast is growing up because we look at us. We we asked you all uh to do like a little mailbag episode, and you all came through. You came through, y&#39;all. Listener, and listener, thank you so much. And um, I&#39;m not going to just do them all in one episode because this is free content for us. So we&#39;re gonna spread them out. And today I want to uh talk about two things. We got uh two messages from you, lovely listener, and uh some topics you guys wanted to hear us talk about. So the first one is from Daniel. Uh Daniel is expecting a girl. Very excited for you, Daniel. Right on, Daniel. And Daniel was like, why don&#39;t you guys talk a little bit about the myths of raising daughters? You and I both have daughters. Yeah, you have an older uh preteen daughter, I have a nightmare two-year-old daughter, and uh, although she&#39;ll be three by the time this comes out. Um, and so what are some common myths about raising daughters that are and aren&#39;t true? Gavin: 4:19 I mean, so often we tell ourselves stories to validate the feelings we have. And so often people say, what don&#39;t they say something like, um, daughters are easy little kids and then nightmares harder as teens, and then it flips and whatnot. I mean, I think so often it&#39;s those are just stories we&#39;re telling ourselves, and maybe I&#39;m telling me myself that story to not want to fall into traps. But I do have to say, okay, my first thought is so often I think other people who don&#39;t understand gay parenthood think, well, how on earth can a man, two men, raise a daughter? They don&#39;t understand hormones, they don&#39;t understand the the um biology, they don&#39;t understand the feelings, they don&#39;t understand the social dynamics. You know what? It&#39;s all bullshit. Uh Daniel, you&#39;re gonna be just as good a dad to your daughter as you would to a son, as a mother to a person. And just as bad. David: 5:10 Honestly, Daniel. Gavin: 5:11 And you&#39;re gonna be terrible just as much because that is, if nothing else, parenting is completely unpredictable and you can&#39;t get into any um comfort whatsoever. So I mean, think I think the main myth is um you&#39;re gonna figure it out and you&#39;re gonna be fine and you&#39;re gonna be a great dad. Is that the other thing a cop out? David: 5:29 No, but the other thing I I want to bring up is um when we had our military dads a hundred episodes ago, James and Will, um, we talked about this a little bit, and uh, but one for when I knew I was having a daughter, I was immediately panicked about vaginas. And I&#39;m not afraid of vaginas. I&#39;ve touched one or two in my life, but I was so afraid that I wouldn&#39;t know because I had already had a boy, I have a penis, he has a penis. Like it was like, okay, we got that. There&#39;s no surprises here. It was all of a sudden like I had to tend to this innocent child, and I was so afraid of a girl&#39;s vagina. I don&#39;t know why. I was just afraid of what would happen. And I I worked myself up over it and I was doing all this research, but it all felt more scary. And then I&#39;m I I I and James and Will attested to this. Once you have them, it&#39;s like two diaper changes later, you&#39;re like, okay, I got this. Like you don&#39;t even think about it. Now, I did have to have some really uncomfortable conversations with our pediatrician about when I&#39;m wiping the diarrhea from her vagina. Yeah, how far in do I clean? You know, there you have these like really strange, awkward conversations, but it the the myth that um it is scary and oh god, a vagina, that stuff goes away so fast in a way that you&#39;re wearing it out. You do, but also it&#39;s just not scary. It&#39;s just it&#39;s just an innie instead of an outie. Gavin: 6:49 Yeah, we&#39;re totally adaptable and it&#39;s gonna be fine. And um, and also knowing that uh you can work yourself up into a tizzy about say hormones and emotions and social dynamics, which I&#39;m dealing with an awful lot of, you know, teen girl um social dynamics right now. And it&#39;s I don&#39;t know, I don&#39;t walk around saying, I don&#39;t understand. I&#39;m a I&#39;m a man, so I don&#39;t get it. You just like I don&#39;t you just roll with it and try to have a good sense of humor. I don&#39;t know. It seems like And you&#39;re barely a man. David: 7:18 I mean, you&#39;re you&#39;re like you&#39;re on paper legally a man, but my God, Gavin. Um and also, you know, like you said, like the whole like girls are easier as babies, but harder as teen or whatever. It&#39;s just it it&#39;s never true and until it is, and then you say, Oh, it&#39;s because of that. My my son was really, really fucking easy, and my daughter is prior to us recording, I was just complaining about this. So, so challenging in so many ways. And uh it&#39;s hard to rely on, like, oh, she should be better because she&#39;s a girl and girls, and also like who who gets to wear the princess dress and who&#39;s throwing the sand in the truck, like that shit switches day to day between the girls and the boys. So, like uh again, Daniel, we&#39;re excited that you&#39;re having a girl. All I can say is you&#39;re gonna worry, you&#39;re not gonna listen to us. Please never listen to us. No, but please don&#39;t you will soon, very quickly, as soon as you&#39;re holding your daughter, day two in the hospital, you&#39;re like, I got this. Yeah. And you will, you&#39;ll have it. Gavin: 8:20 So moving on, we got another piece of international mail because um Do you remember international mail? David: 8:28 Do you remember that catalog? That was now looking back, that was like my first spatial material. It was absolutely that. Yeah. Gavin: 8:37 Between that, the Victoria&#39;s Secret catalog, the um Fredericks of Hollywood um catalog, and international mail. Now, did you get international mail? Like, or is that in from the early 90s? Isn&#39;t it? David: 8:49 No, it was like, it was like, yeah, it was like early to mid-90s, and like for those of you out there, a magazine with pieces of paper connected on one end. Anyway, there was an underwear magazine called International Mail, but we all knew what the fuck they were doing. Yeah. It was like sheer fabric closure of these men&#39;s crotches, and all you just saw were dicks. Um, but somehow they they mailed it to your parents. Gavin: 9:11 So our so our international mail is Lou. Lou from Australia. He has a four-year-old, and he wants to know. I can&#39;t even read this question. David: 9:20 You can&#39;t even read this question. Do it. Gavin: 9:22 It&#39;s impossible. When does your child start listening or acknowledging you again? David: 9:30 Lou, we don&#39;t mean to laugh at you. We but we are laughing at you. Uh listen, I don&#39;t know because you have a four-year-old, I have just barely a five-year-old. So I&#39;m only, you know, 11 months ahead of you. But so far, not yet. unknown: 9:43 No. Gavin: 9:44 And I have a 13-year-old, and so far, not yet. Not yet. This immediately makes me think about how she is so steamrolling past us. Not she listens, but she&#39;s arguing past us and being like, no, you can&#39;t. No, you can&#39;t. Wait, can I have it back? Can I have it back? When can I have it back? She is just uh anyway. I mean, Lou, thank you for that$64 million question. We love you. This is parenting, baby. So just pour some of that savvy B you have down there from New Zealand and buckle up because no, um, she&#39;s he or she, they are not listening to you anytime soon. Sorry about it. Also does remind me that these are universal questions that usually don&#39;t have answers and welcome to parenting because everybody is asking these things and everybody feels lost, and everybody wonders when is their fucking kid gonna listen to them and is this never gonna happen. So the good news is, Lou and even Daniel, you&#39;re not alone. We all have the same worries, okay? Welcome, guys. unknown: 10:39 Welcome. Gavin: 10:40 So um I have a little dad hack of the week uh that&#39;s just a simple little thing that sometimes I think so often, I think to myself, damn it, why didn&#39;t I think about this before? And I just need to prepare uh ahead of time, which I never, ever, never ever do. I am I&#39;m an Eagle Scout, David. I don&#39;t know if that means anything to you, or you know what that means. It means that I&#39;m supposed to have I was a weeblos. Oh, you were well, you know, the motto is or is it the slogan? Oh, geez, I can never remember. I think it&#39;s the motto is just be prepared. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I am prepared to just make it work. And I can improvise my way out of anything, but I&#39;m rarely, if ever, um um prepared in advance. But I will say a nice little dad hack is um always have a book in the car. Always, always, always, always leave a book in the car um to just be the quick reference for um when the kids need to be distracted or whatever, or like distract them from their phones or whatever. But just always, always, always leave a book in the car. Do you have books in the car just in case? David: 11:42 Absolutely. It&#39;s exactly for for the reason you&#39;re saying we have one book and each other sides because inevitably they&#39;re annoyed and it&#39;s it it&#39;s a book they don&#39;t see often, and then they&#39;ll grab it and look at it. Yeah. Gavin: 11:52 Yeah. Good call. Yeah. And uh, when you can think about it, switch them out, but you know, have a couple in the car. That&#39;s a good dad hack. So, anyway, I know you don&#39;t like diving into the gay news in the world because boy, the world is just a big old dumpster fire right now. Ooh, is that the word I should have used? Anyway, but I do want to revisit an old thing, an old theme that we have visited several times. Did you know that McDonald&#39;s is the latest corporation to fall to the anti-DEI movement? And that they have now joined, they have joined Home Depot and Ford and all of the other companies that what&#39;s his name? Like Jack Starbuck or something, has essentially been waging this um conservative war across the American landscape, corporate landscape, to make people to make institutions drop their DEI um priorities, which is astounding, right? But do you know what might be even more astounding for you and your little gay ass is gonna be so happy about? What? Costco said, uh-uh, conservative right, and their corporate board of directors have said, no, we are keeping our DEI priorities within our corporation. David: 13:04 Oh, thank God. I thought you were gonna take Costco away from me, and I don&#39;t know if I was gonna be able to do that. Nope. If that&#39;s the best gift you&#39;ve ever given me. Gavin: 13:12 I took Costco from you, wrapped it up in a shiny new package, and handed it back to you. David: 13:16 You re-gifted it to me, and you know what? I&#39;ll take it. I I I love that. Anyone who knows me knows I go to Costco twice a week. I&#39;m obsessed with it. But also, you could have taken that away from me. I would have stopped going to Costco if there were being dicks, but oh my god, this is such great news. Honestly, we only have America for five more days, so it&#39;s not like you don&#39;t even mean it&#39;s like any of this matters, but that&#39;s that&#39;s wonderful. That&#39;s wonderful gay news. Gavin: 13:39 But you know what&#39;s just as wonderful? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my list. Uh, I suggested I want to hear the top three New Year&#39;s resolutions that you&#39;ve already given up on. Have you given some thought? Do you feel like it? This is a top three to make you feel like a loser or a terrible person. David: 14:01 Which two Absolutely. Which you do, which you do often for me, which is really nice. No, but the saddest part of this is when when you gave this to me, it was so easy. This I had I had 20. I had 20 things. So no. Gavin: 14:14 Well, you can either talk really quickly or just narrow it down. For me, number three, going...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David makes a date with a girl and it doesn&apos;t go to plan, we open up the Gaytriarchs mailbag, Gavin finally has some good gay news for once, we admit to the top 3 New Years resolutions we&apos;ve already given up on, and our guest this we]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David makes a date with a girl and it doesn&apos;t go to plan, we open up the Gaytriarchs mailbag, Gavin finally has some good gay news for once, we admit to the top 3 New Years resolutions we&apos;ve already given up on, and our guest this week is mother, attorney, author, and Ohio&apos;ian Rachel Loftspring who talks to us about her new book, why she got into family law, and what we can do to better prepare ourselves for the next administration. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are we not recording? Gavin: 0:01 Sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s the fires. Blame the fires. Sorry. Let&#39;s see how a genuine my laugh can come out again this time. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:27 So, my favorite place in the world, as you know, the bus stop. And my son has befriended this little girl, and they play together. They sit in the bus together. It&#39;s all friendly. And he&#39;s like, I want to have a play date with her. We say, sure. We get the mom&#39;s phone number. We&#39;re trying to find times. My husband texts her, hey, um, you know, you why don&#39;t you guys come over at, you know, uh four o&#39;clock on Saturday for the play date? And the mom&#39;s response was sure. I could use a few hours to go shopping. I&#39;ll drop her off at four. Gavin: 0:59 Wait, what? unknown: 1:02 No. David: 1:03 So I&#39;m like, we both, he like shows me the phone and I&#39;m like, wait, what? We&#39;re babysitting this girl? No. I thought this was a play date. So wait. Gavin: 1:12 And remind us, wait, Emmett is how old? Five. Okay. So we&#39;re still in. I mean, he&#39;s in kindergarten now, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I have a lot of thoughts about this. David: 1:23 But am I crazy? Like, does that sound great? No, I&#39;m just like, to me, I&#39;m so used to like the awkward, like the parents sit on the couch and like make small talk for an hour and a half. But like, oh, she was like basically like, oh yeah, I&#39;ll just drop my daughter off at your house. Gavin: 1:37 Isn&#39;t that normal? Well, I don&#39;t think so. This hasn&#39;t happened to you before, right? David: 1:41 You have done that for small play dates and they say, What can we bring? They bring bagels, we hang out, or whatever. Right. This was the first time. Now I will say what this is what I will give her. She showed up, and now this was right before Christmas. She showed up a bottle of wine for us, a gift for Emmett, a wrapped gift for our daughter, who is also and some like candy. So she came bearing gifts, but she definitely dropped those kids off or that kid off and then bounced for two hours. Gavin: 2:08 Oh, in December, back when? Oh, okay. I mean, they&#39;re definitely we haven&#39;t talked about this before. I have so many fond memories of sitting around day drinking, Chardonnay with the ladies in um Yeah, because it was never there were a few times there were some dudes who did it. Um, and we would just hang out and make awkward small talk for a while. But also, that&#39;s where you&#39;re absolutely manipulating who you want your kids to be friends with, because you&#39;re like, I&#39;m not gonna sit around with your the kids&#39; lame parents. So you foster the friendships with the cool parents. Yeah. I would say though that by first grade, finally, is where we were like, okay, Julia&#39;s gonna walk home with uh Ellison and they&#39;re and no, no, no, no, please, and you do not need to come over because this is where I actually get some stuff done. I can vacuum the house and stuff like that. David: 2:55 So maybe you did a transition thing for me. Maybe I&#39;m used to the baby play dates, and now this is a car kid blade date. Gavin: 3:02 Kindergarten feels a little young for I mean, you&#39;re still like pissing yourself and might need a nap. And and and then there&#39;s the kids as well. But I think kindergarten it, I you know what, you might need to make peace with leaning into my new normal saying this might you&#39;re you&#39;re coming to a new normal, yeah. Wow. David: 3:20 Look, look, look, look, baby, little babies growing up. Um, and little podcast is growing up because we look at us. We we asked you all uh to do like a little mailbag episode, and you all came through. You came through, y&#39;all. Listener, and listener, thank you so much. And um, I&#39;m not going to just do them all in one episode because this is free content for us. So we&#39;re gonna spread them out. And today I want to uh talk about two things. We got uh two messages from you, lovely listener, and uh some topics you guys wanted to hear us talk about. So the first one is from Daniel. Uh Daniel is expecting a girl. Very excited for you, Daniel. Right on, Daniel. And Daniel was like, why don&#39;t you guys talk a little bit about the myths of raising daughters? You and I both have daughters. Yeah, you have an older uh preteen daughter, I have a nightmare two-year-old daughter, and uh, although she&#39;ll be three by the time this comes out. Um, and so what are some common myths about raising daughters that are and aren&#39;t true? Gavin: 4:19 I mean, so often we tell ourselves stories to validate the feelings we have. And so often people say, what don&#39;t they say something like, um, daughters are easy little kids and then nightmares harder as teens, and then it flips and whatnot. I mean, I think so often it&#39;s those are just stories we&#39;re telling ourselves, and maybe I&#39;m telling me myself that story to not want to fall into traps. But I do have to say, okay, my first thought is so often I think other people who don&#39;t understand gay parenthood think, well, how on earth can a man, two men, raise a daughter? They don&#39;t understand hormones, they don&#39;t understand the the um biology, they don&#39;t understand the feelings, they don&#39;t understand the social dynamics. You know what? It&#39;s all bullshit. Uh Daniel, you&#39;re gonna be just as good a dad to your daughter as you would to a son, as a mother to a person. And just as bad. David: 5:10 Honestly, Daniel. Gavin: 5:11 And you&#39;re gonna be terrible just as much because that is, if nothing else, parenting is completely unpredictable and you can&#39;t get into any um comfort whatsoever. So I mean, think I think the main myth is um you&#39;re gonna figure it out and you&#39;re gonna be fine and you&#39;re gonna be a great dad. Is that the other thing a cop out? David: 5:29 No, but the other thing I I want to bring up is um when we had our military dads a hundred episodes ago, James and Will, um, we talked about this a little bit, and uh, but one for when I knew I was having a daughter, I was immediately panicked about vaginas. And I&#39;m not afraid of vaginas. I&#39;ve touched one or two in my life, but I was so afraid that I wouldn&#39;t know because I had already had a boy, I have a penis, he has a penis. Like it was like, okay, we got that. There&#39;s no surprises here. It was all of a sudden like I had to tend to this innocent child, and I was so afraid of a girl&#39;s vagina. I don&#39;t know why. I was just afraid of what would happen. And I I worked myself up over it and I was doing all this research, but it all felt more scary. And then I&#39;m I I I and James and Will attested to this. Once you have them, it&#39;s like two diaper changes later, you&#39;re like, okay, I got this. Like you don&#39;t even think about it. Now, I did have to have some really uncomfortable conversations with our pediatrician about when I&#39;m wiping the diarrhea from her vagina. Yeah, how far in do I clean? You know, there you have these like really strange, awkward conversations, but it the the myth that um it is scary and oh god, a vagina, that stuff goes away so fast in a way that you&#39;re wearing it out. You do, but also it&#39;s just not scary. It&#39;s just it&#39;s just an innie instead of an outie. Gavin: 6:49 Yeah, we&#39;re totally adaptable and it&#39;s gonna be fine. And um, and also knowing that uh you can work yourself up into a tizzy about say hormones and emotions and social dynamics, which I&#39;m dealing with an awful lot of, you know, teen girl um social dynamics right now. And it&#39;s I don&#39;t know, I don&#39;t walk around saying, I don&#39;t understand. I&#39;m a I&#39;m a man, so I don&#39;t get it. You just like I don&#39;t you just roll with it and try to have a good sense of humor. I don&#39;t know. It seems like And you&#39;re barely a man. David: 7:18 I mean, you&#39;re you&#39;re like you&#39;re on paper legally a man, but my God, Gavin. Um and also, you know, like you said, like the whole like girls are easier as babies, but harder as teen or whatever. It&#39;s just it it&#39;s never true and until it is, and then you say, Oh, it&#39;s because of that. My my son was really, really fucking easy, and my daughter is prior to us recording, I was just complaining about this. So, so challenging in so many ways. And uh it&#39;s hard to rely on, like, oh, she should be better because she&#39;s a girl and girls, and also like who who gets to wear the princess dress and who&#39;s throwing the sand in the truck, like that shit switches day to day between the girls and the boys. So, like uh again, Daniel, we&#39;re excited that you&#39;re having a girl. All I can say is you&#39;re gonna worry, you&#39;re not gonna listen to us. Please never listen to us. No, but please don&#39;t you will soon, very quickly, as soon as you&#39;re holding your daughter, day two in the hospital, you&#39;re like, I got this. Yeah. And you will, you&#39;ll have it. Gavin: 8:20 So moving on, we got another piece of international mail because um Do you remember international mail? David: 8:28 Do you remember that catalog? That was now looking back, that was like my first spatial material. It was absolutely that. Yeah. Gavin: 8:37 Between that, the Victoria&#39;s Secret catalog, the um Fredericks of Hollywood um catalog, and international mail. Now, did you get international mail? Like, or is that in from the early 90s? Isn&#39;t it? David: 8:49 No, it was like, it was like, yeah, it was like early to mid-90s, and like for those of you out there, a magazine with pieces of paper connected on one end. Anyway, there was an underwear magazine called International Mail, but we all knew what the fuck they were doing. Yeah. It was like sheer fabric closure of these men&#39;s crotches, and all you just saw were dicks. Um, but somehow they they mailed it to your parents. Gavin: 9:11 So our so our international mail is Lou. Lou from Australia. He has a four-year-old, and he wants to know. I can&#39;t even read this question. David: 9:20 You can&#39;t even read this question. Do it. Gavin: 9:22 It&#39;s impossible. When does your child start listening or acknowledging you again? David: 9:30 Lou, we don&#39;t mean to laugh at you. We but we are laughing at you. Uh listen, I don&#39;t know because you have a four-year-old, I have just barely a five-year-old. So I&#39;m only, you know, 11 months ahead of you. But so far, not yet. unknown: 9:43 No. Gavin: 9:44 And I have a 13-year-old, and so far, not yet. Not yet. This immediately makes me think about how she is so steamrolling past us. Not she listens, but she&#39;s arguing past us and being like, no, you can&#39;t. No, you can&#39;t. Wait, can I have it back? Can I have it back? When can I have it back? She is just uh anyway. I mean, Lou, thank you for that$64 million question. We love you. This is parenting, baby. So just pour some of that savvy B you have down there from New Zealand and buckle up because no, um, she&#39;s he or she, they are not listening to you anytime soon. Sorry about it. Also does remind me that these are universal questions that usually don&#39;t have answers and welcome to parenting because everybody is asking these things and everybody feels lost, and everybody wonders when is their fucking kid gonna listen to them and is this never gonna happen. So the good news is, Lou and even Daniel, you&#39;re not alone. We all have the same worries, okay? Welcome, guys. unknown: 10:39 Welcome. Gavin: 10:40 So um I have a little dad hack of the week uh that&#39;s just a simple little thing that sometimes I think so often, I think to myself, damn it, why didn&#39;t I think about this before? And I just need to prepare uh ahead of time, which I never, ever, never ever do. I am I&#39;m an Eagle Scout, David. I don&#39;t know if that means anything to you, or you know what that means. It means that I&#39;m supposed to have I was a weeblos. Oh, you were well, you know, the motto is or is it the slogan? Oh, geez, I can never remember. I think it&#39;s the motto is just be prepared. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m I am prepared to just make it work. And I can improvise my way out of anything, but I&#39;m rarely, if ever, um um prepared in advance. But I will say a nice little dad hack is um always have a book in the car. Always, always, always, always leave a book in the car um to just be the quick reference for um when the kids need to be distracted or whatever, or like distract them from their phones or whatever. But just always, always, always leave a book in the car. Do you have books in the car just in case? David: 11:42 Absolutely. It&#39;s exactly for for the reason you&#39;re saying we have one book and each other sides because inevitably they&#39;re annoyed and it&#39;s it it&#39;s a book they don&#39;t see often, and then they&#39;ll grab it and look at it. Yeah. Gavin: 11:52 Yeah. Good call. Yeah. And uh, when you can think about it, switch them out, but you know, have a couple in the car. That&#39;s a good dad hack. So, anyway, I know you don&#39;t like diving into the gay news in the world because boy, the world is just a big old dumpster fire right now. Ooh, is that the word I should have used? Anyway, but I do want to revisit an old thing, an old theme that we have visited several times. Did you know that McDonald&#39;s is the latest corporation to fall to the anti-DEI movement? And that they have now joined, they have joined Home Depot and Ford and all of the other companies that what&#39;s his name? Like Jack Starbuck or something, has essentially been waging this um conservative war across the American landscape, corporate landscape, to make people to make institutions drop their DEI um priorities, which is astounding, right? But do you know what might be even more astounding for you and your little gay ass is gonna be so happy about? What? Costco said, uh-uh, conservative right, and their corporate board of directors have said, no, we are keeping our DEI priorities within our corporation. David: 13:04 Oh, thank God. I thought you were gonna take Costco away from me, and I don&#39;t know if I was gonna be able to do that. Nope. If that&#39;s the best gift you&#39;ve ever given me. Gavin: 13:12 I took Costco from you, wrapped it up in a shiny new package, and handed it back to you. David: 13:16 You re-gifted it to me, and you know what? I&#39;ll take it. I I I love that. Anyone who knows me knows I go to Costco twice a week. I&#39;m obsessed with it. But also, you could have taken that away from me. I would have stopped going to Costco if there were being dicks, but oh my god, this is such great news. Honestly, we only have America for five more days, so it&#39;s not like you don&#39;t even mean it&#39;s like any of this matters, but that&#39;s that&#39;s wonderful. That&#39;s wonderful gay news. Gavin: 13:39 But you know what&#39;s just as wonderful? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my list. Uh, I suggested I want to hear the top three New Year&#39;s resolutions that you&#39;ve already given up on. Have you given some thought? Do you feel like it? This is a top three to make you feel like a loser or a terrible person. David: 14:01 Which two Absolutely. Which you do, which you do often for me, which is really nice. No, but the saddest part of this is when when you gave this to me, it was so easy. This I had I had 20. I had 20 things. So no. Gavin: 14:14 Well, you can either talk really quickly or just narrow it down. For me, number three, going...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David makes a date with a girl and it doesn&apos;t go to plan, we open up the Gaytriarchs mailbag, Gavin finally has some good gay news for once, we admit to the top 3 New Years resolutions we&apos;ve already given up on, and our guest this week is mother, attorney, author, and Ohio&apos;ian Rachel Loftspring who talks to us about her new book, why she got into family law, and what we can do to better prepare ourselves for the next administration. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are we not recording? Gavin: 0:01 Sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s the fires. Blame the fires. Sorry. Let&#39;s see how a genuine my laugh can come out again this time. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:27 So, my favorite place in the world, as you know, the bus stop. And my son has befriended this little girl, and they play together. They sit in the bus together. It&#39;s all friendly. And he&#39;s like, I want to have a play date with her. We say, sure. We get the mom&#39;s phone number. We&#39;re trying to find times. My husband texts her, hey, um, you know, you why don&#39;t you guys come over at, you know, uh four o&#39;clock on Saturday for the play date? And the mom&#39;s response was sure. I could use a few hours to go shopping. I&#39;ll drop her off at four. Gavin: 0:59 Wait, what? unknown: 1:02 No. David: 1:03 So I&#39;m like, we both, he like shows me the phone and I&#39;m like, wait, what? We&#39;re babysitting this girl? No. I thought this was a play date. So wait. Gavin: 1:12 And remind us, wait, Emmett is how old? Five. Okay. So we&#39;re still in. I mean, he&#39;s in kindergarten now, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I have a lot of thoughts about this. David: 1:23 But am I crazy? Like, does that sound great? No, I&#39;m just like, to me, I&#39;m so used to like the awkward, like the parents sit on the couch and like make small talk for an hour and a half. But like, oh, she was like basically like, oh yeah, I&#39;ll just drop my daughter off at your house. Gavin: 1:37 Isn&#39;t that normal? Well, I don&#39;t think so. This hasn&#39;t happened to you before, right? David: 1:41 You have done that for small play dates and they say, What can we bring? They bring bagels, we hang out, or whatever. Right. This was the first time. Now I will say what this is what I will give her. She showed up, and now this was right before Christmas. She showed up a bottle of wine for us, a gift for Emmett, a wrapped gift for our daughter, who is also and some like candy. So she came bearing gifts, but she definitely dropped those kids off or that kid off and then bounced for two hours. Gavin: 2:08 Oh, in December, back when? Oh, okay. I mean, they&#39;re definitely we haven&#39;t talked about this before. I have so many fond memories of sitting around day drinking, Chardonnay with the ladies in um Yeah, because it was never there were a few times there were some dudes who did it. Um, and we would just hang out and make awkward small talk for a while. But also, that&#39;s where you&#39;re absolutely manipulating who you want your kids to be friends with, because you&#39;re like, I&#39;m not gonna sit around with your the kids&#39; lame parents. So you foster the friendships with the cool parents. Yeah. I would say though that by first grade, finally, is where we were like, okay, Julia&#39;s gonna walk home with uh Ellison and they&#39;re and no, no, no, no, please, and you do not need to come over because this is where I actually get some stuff done. I can vacuum the house and stuff like that. David: 2:55 So maybe you did a transition thing for me. Maybe I&#39;m used to the baby play dates, and now this is a car kid blade date. Gavin: 3:02 Kindergarten feels a little young for I mean, you&#39;re still like pissing yourself and might need a nap. And and and then there&#39;s the kids as well. But I think kindergarten it,]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David makes a date with a girl and it doesn&apos;t go to plan, we open up the Gaytriarchs mailbag, Gavin finally has some good gay news for once, we admit to the top 3 New Years resolutions we&apos;ve already given up on, and our guest this week is mother, attorney, author, and Ohio&apos;ian Rachel Loftspring who talks to us about her new book, why she got into family law, and what we can do to better prepare ourselves for the next administration. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are we not recording? Gavin: 0:01 Sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s the fires. Blame the fires. Sorry. Let&#39;s see how a genuine my laugh can come out again this time. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:27 So, my favorite place in the world, as you know, the bus stop. And my son has befriended this little girl, and they play together. They sit in the bus together. It&#39;s all fr]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with therapist Brian Spitulnik</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-therapist-brian-spitulnik/</link>
	<pubDate>Thu, 02 Jan 2025 15:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a new year, and the same tired us. This week, David&apos;s son gets the family sick, Gavin is annoyed with gifts, we talk about babysitters and why we love them, we rank the top 3 funniest things that aren&apos;t funny, and this week we are joined by Broadway alum and therapist Brian Spitulnik about his record 15 years in the Broadway musical Chicago, his transition to mental health, what he&apos;s observed in his practice with gay Dads, and we quiz him on how he&apos;d be a better parent than us. (Easily.) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What? Babysitters? I was just moving, I was hating. You have literally three things before this, before babysitters. Gavin: 0:07 I know, but we already decided that we were going to move that on because what you have to say is so much funnier and more interesting. And this is Gatriarchs. David and listener, happy new year. It is 2025, y&#39;all. Okay, we&#39;re a couple of days late. We&#39;ll get into that. Excuse later. But this is a new era. David: 0:37 What is this new era for you, David? This new era is us peddling the same hired bullshit year after year, episode after episode, until we lose our one listener. Gavin: 0:51 For the love of it. This is my era of victimhood. It&#39;s not my fault. Yeah. Nothing is my fault. I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just here and I&#39;m I&#39;m doing my best, but nothing&#39;s ever my fault. David: 1:02 Everyone wants to improve every year. Everyone&#39;s like, what can I change about myself to make myself better? I&#39;m like, no, I&#39;m devolving. I want to get worse and worse and worse. Gavin: 1:09 But better at being your worst self, too, I think. Like just refining your true nature, I would say. We were talking about resolutions with my kids the other day. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m this is not something I want to push. And especially because, like when my daughter said, I want to, she said something along the lines of, I want to be able to shop smarter. And I&#39;m like, oh, your resolution is to spend more of my money, but just in a smarter way. No, no. I&#39;m nope. I&#39;m a victim. This isn&#39;t my fault. David: 1:41 Anyway. Your victim of the era. I love it. But we do want to apologize to you, listener, because normally, normally we we release our episodes on Wednesdays and we were all ready to go. And uh my entire family, um, my mama&#39;s visiting, my two kids, my husband and me, all just fell into this sickness. We were gross, everyone was everyone had the flu, basically. And um, I was trying to figure out how we all got it, and I think I figured it out. Oh. So we went to Times Square, you&#39;ve heard of it, um, to meet a friend of the show, Allison uh Friedman, who was on our back to school special and her family, and we met them uh in Times Square at a restaurant, and we&#39;re sitting there. And my son likes to put things in his mouth, he likes to chew on straws, he likes to do things, and it&#39;s so frustrating. So we&#39;re sitting there and he is clearly something in his mouth. I said, What is in your mouth? And he like opens his mouth, and I could see it&#39;s the wrapping of the Crayola crayon he was coloring. I said, please spit that out. Right and he does it. I said, Spit it out, take it out of your mouth. And so what he does at a Times Square restaurant, which is is if anybody doesn&#39;t already you might as well be in the New York Subway in a bathroom. He leans down and he licks the table with a look of you, dad. And all of us, all of us, Alice, everyone froze. And I went, oh my god, oh no, oh my god, this is our last day with our son because he just licked the table of a Times Square restaurant. So I&#39;m pretty sure that&#39;s where it came from. But we&#39;re sorry, listener, we are late, but we are back. We&#39;re back on our same bullshit. Uh, we have a really mediocre episode ready for you. Gavin: 3:32 Well, but I do want to know, um, did did you have a good holiday, David? Did Santa bring you everything you could have hoped for? David: 3:37 You know, he did, as I&#39;m sure you are. There&#39;s too many presents, and presents make my kids assholes. Uh it&#39;s the same with screen time. It&#39;s like you think like, oh, you give them more and it&#39;s more exciting. It&#39;s actually it reduced. If you when they were opening their stocking, they were just happy. They were like, oh, look at this little thing. When they got a mound of presents, they became actual monsters. Actual monsters. Gavin: 4:00 I mean, what is the remedy for that, do you think? David: 4:03 Prison. Gavin: 4:05 I don&#39;t know. I do think though, the gift giving is so just so bizarre. Where my partner and I basically we bought each other stuff, and I&#39;m like, you could have just given me money and I would have just gone and gotten my own thing. I should have just written you a check. This is the problem. David: 4:19 We&#39;re grown people who can buy our own popcorn maker. I don&#39;t need you, I don&#39;t need to send you an Amazon link for the popcorn maker I want. Right. And then you buy it and have it sent to me. Gavin: 4:29 Except you did it wrong somehow. Somehow it wasn&#39;t exactly the way I wanted my popcorn maker. Yeah. I mean, my uh I will say that my partner is really good at clever little simple gifts, which is sweet. When he goes all out, then I&#39;m like, oh, I didn&#39;t really want pinstripe on that shirt. I I really thank you, but anyway, gift giving is fucked up. David: 4:51 We should just it is fucked up because we all have the vision of like we bought our kids bikes this year, and we have the vision of like them, them walking down the stairs and like Chris Michael Bublé is playing in the background softly, and they they just scream with glee and they jump on their bikes and they&#39;re running around the neighborhood and everything. It&#39;s never that. It&#39;s never that. Um, and so yes, no, I uh it was a it was a lesson learned that like they were so happy with their tiny little bullshit in the stocking, they didn&#39;t need 40 extra presents to make them actual monsters. So every year we&#39;re gonna try to reduce it. Gavin: 5:24 But I was gonna say this, it&#39;s just a hamster wheel of doing the same thing over and over again. Let&#39;s let&#39;s put a pin in this, come back in a year and see if we made any changes. But as you said, we&#39;re just devolving in our lives anyway, so who cares? David: 5:36 Anyway, who fucking cares? But um, one of the things I want to talk about today, because we haven&#39;t really talked about it before, and I feel like we all do this, so it&#39;s important, is babysitters. Babysitter, okay. You use babysitters or did did you use baby sitters? Gavin: 5:50 I used to, don&#39;t have to. Another level of freedom. Yeah. Now we just let them. Well, now we just know that the babysitter is Netflix and YouTube. David: 5:59 So you could just leave the house and just just go and not go away for six hours? Gavin: 6:05 Yes. And we do it regularly. Don&#39;t worry, you will get there. It will get overnights. Uh what about overnights? We have we no, we have had okay, we&#39;ve had a couple of instances lately. This is so not interesting. Um, or germane to have a lot of people. David: 6:22 Make sure to say it on the first episode of 2025. Yeah. Gavin: 6:25 But we have there have been a couple of times that my partner and I have been both out of town on the same night for work, and we just we send the kids to have sleepovers at friends&#39; houses. And it horrifies my husband, my partner, that he that we are asking for help. And I&#39;m like, no, no, this is this is tribal, man. We need to what you do. Yes. Um, but you did babysitters back. Yes, we sure did. David: 6:44 And so I was like, oh, there&#39;s some things that I feel like I wanted to know before I started using babysitters that maybe we could talk about. One is what do you pay them? And obviously, like this is somewhat regional, and obviously in the 1400s when you were hiring babysitters, it wasn&#39;t, you know, I think you traded them a bale of hay and a donkey or something. Shillings, yes, and a chicken. Um, but what my rule is that you ask the babysitter when you&#39;re interviewing them or when you ever meet them what they charge. Yeah. And whatever number it&#39;s awkward, but you gotta ask. But whatever number they say is what you pay them. And if the number is too high for you to hire them, then you just don&#39;t hire them. What makes me a little icky is if somebody&#39;s like 20 bucks an hour and you&#39;re like, how about 15? I&#39;m like, you&#39;re you&#39;re negotiating down for the care of your child. Gavin: 7:28 Yeah, I agree with you there. Uh and yeah, if it&#39;s just too expensive, maybe the person&#39;s already in the house. Well, you should have figured out that, figured that out first, but you just don&#39;t hire them again. David: 7:38 So yeah, and and our just for transparency, we live in the obviously in uh just outside New York City. Um, all of our babysitters either ask for or we pay them$23 an hour. I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s average for this area or this, the whatever. So we pay them$23 an hour. The other thing, my question for you is let&#39;s say you&#39;re like, I need a babysitter from 5 to 8 p.m., right? And you book them from 5 to 8 p.m. and you come home at 7 p.m. What do you pay? What do you gave and lodge pay them? Full amount. Full amount. Gavin: 8:05 You don&#39;t you don&#39;t take away money. You what you do is you don&#39;t ever come home. Even if you just sit out in the driveway or at a coffee shop or at a bar it is across the street from your house, you kill an hour, and that is a gift to yourself, by the way. Admittedly, a$23 an hour gift, but you don&#39;t go home early. Wait, have you ever showed up early? David: 8:26 And I mean, uh probably not, but uh but I I feel like it has happened where I&#39;m like, oh, I assume this play would last longer or whatever. Um but I agree, like, like for sure, pay them the full amount. Now, yes, here&#39;s the other thing. You book them from 5 to 8 p.m. But you ask if they can stay later, they say yes. You show up at, let&#39;s say, 8 20 p.m. How much do you pay them? Gavin: 8:48 Time and a half uh I another twenty-three divided by two, carry the one times by six. I don&#39;t think I would go for a full hour, especially if they said that they could stay longer, but I would definitely pay. I wouldn&#39;t totally nickel in dime, I would pay a full half hour. David: 9:04 Like half hour. Yeah, I agree. I think I think once you&#39;re going over paying by half hour, just cut the right. You round up. Exactly. And if you&#39;re close to an hour or right at that 30-minute mark, just pay them the full fucking hour. Yeah. These, especially if you have good ones. We are so lucky. We have two, we have a lot of uh babysitters, but um, or that we&#39;ve used throughout the years, but we have two like our like hardcore like inner circle ones that are just so great and we just love them so much, and they come with ideas and they&#39;re that we trust them. So we had a babysitter. Gavin: 9:34 What&#39;s their background? David: 9:35 Are they teens or no, no, no? These are adults. 50 year olds? Oh, one of them is uh uh we poached from our old daycare, um, and the other one is a friend I&#39;ve known for 20 years, but they&#39;re adults, and and so that brings me actually to the next section of like what do you look for in a babysitter? What are like good qualities of a babysitter other than keep my child alive? Gavin: 9:55 Yeah, right. David: 9:56 That&#39;s number one. To me, the the the for for when we had younger kids is when you have a hard goodbye, right? You&#39;re leaving, they&#39;re screaming, they don&#39;t want you to go, don&#39;t go, daddy, don&#39;t go drinking at the bar, and you&#39;re like, no, Gabin&#39;s meeting me there. I&#39;m right. Gabin&#39;s gonna be there. Um, is that once they&#39;ve calmed down, because you know they always calm down within like two minutes, but you just can&#39;t see even less. Yeah, is that the babysitter sends you like a funny picture of them eating a banana or like playing with a game or something? And so our babysitters are really kind when we have bad uh goodbyes, is that they&#39;ll send us a photo right away, like hanging out watching Frozen or whatever, and we&#39;re just like, okay, they are not dying, they are okay, everything is fine. So I that to me, that&#39;s really important one. Uh-huh. Gavin: 10:41 I&#39;m okay. I appreciate that outreach at that the same time. There&#39;s part of me that&#39;s like out of sight, out of mind. I mean, as unless something is going wrong, you can take cute pictures, that&#39;s fine. I&#39;m just gonna assume that you&#39;re doing a good job. I really, really, really hope though, I&#39;m paying somebody not to just watch TV with my kids. Yeah. I really do hope that they will be active in some way. I mean, listen, if you&#39;re gonna be there for six, let&#39;s say this two and a half hours or less, there better not be screens involved. Once you hit a three hour, a longer mark. I understand everybody needs a break. Everybody needs a break. That&#39;s fine. David: 11:19 But there&#39;s always those babysitters you see when they walk in, they go right for that remote, and you&#39;re like, uh, we have a babysitter that again, we love that comes in usually with a bag of shit. Even if it&#39;s like she&#39;ll go to the dollar store and just get some bullshit, and she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know, let&#39;s rake sugar like it&#39;s sand in this box. You know what I mean? Like whatever it is. But then that&#39;s like it&#39;s really exciting, especially because I have very young kids. Now, obviously, if you have older kids or teens or whatever, it&#39;s kind of like, you know, just let me look at my iPad. Um but we had uh uh one uh going conversely, things you don&#39;t like in a babysitter. We had a babysitter once who we had uh we&#39;re having dinner about 30 minutes south of here. And as soon as we got there, the second we arrived to our friend&#39;s house, we got a text that said, I don&#39;t feel good, I need to leave. Wait, and so babysitter, obviously. And so I called her. I was like, what&#39;s going on? She&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know. Um, I took some medicine and I don&#39;t feel right and I need to leave. I said, Okay, well, we&#39;re about a half hour away, we&#39;ll start heading in. She&#39;s like, No, no, no, I need to leave. And I was like, baby, you can&#39;t just walk out of the house with my child, my infant in the house. And she&#39;s like, I have to. And I was like, oh my God, what am I gonna do? Luckily, we had a neighbor and I called her and said, Can you just walk in and just stand there so this this girl can leave or whatever? But I was like, okay, I would like to not hire you again because that is terrifying. And did you ever hire that person again? Absolutely not. unknown: 12:45 Are you fucking kidding me? Gavin: 12:47 Um that&#39;s pretty funny though. David: 12:49 That&#39;s and you know what&#39;s weird though. Last thing I was thinking about when I was thinking about babysitters was there aren&#39;t we, I&#39;ve never had a male babysitter. Every time I&#39;ve ever put the call out, every time I&#39;ve been to these babysitter forums, even at daycare, all the daycare teachers, all women. Gavin: 13:02 Why is that? We had lots of boy babysitters. Oh, really? Lots of because we were in the city and we always got in networks of like uh uh actors. And so I don&#39;t know, there were there were a fair amount of, I mean, there was literally like this actors babysitters club that we got into, which was hilarious, and they were all very, very kind, but there were a lot of boys, um, for sure. And they were also, let&#39;s face it, they were actors, so they were creative, um, enthusiastic, really...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s a new year, and the same tired us. This week, David&apos;s son gets the family sick, Gavin is annoyed with gifts, we talk about babysitters and why we love them, we rank the top 3 funniest things that aren&apos;t funny, and this week we are joi]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s a new year, and the same tired us. This week, David&apos;s son gets the family sick, Gavin is annoyed with gifts, we talk about babysitters and why we love them, we rank the top 3 funniest things that aren&apos;t funny, and this week we are joined by Broadway alum and therapist Brian Spitulnik about his record 15 years in the Broadway musical Chicago, his transition to mental health, what he&apos;s observed in his practice with gay Dads, and we quiz him on how he&apos;d be a better parent than us. (Easily.) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What? Babysitters? I was just moving, I was hating. You have literally three things before this, before babysitters. Gavin: 0:07 I know, but we already decided that we were going to move that on because what you have to say is so much funnier and more interesting. And this is Gatriarchs. David and listener, happy new year. It is 2025, y&#39;all. Okay, we&#39;re a couple of days late. We&#39;ll get into that. Excuse later. But this is a new era. David: 0:37 What is this new era for you, David? This new era is us peddling the same hired bullshit year after year, episode after episode, until we lose our one listener. Gavin: 0:51 For the love of it. This is my era of victimhood. It&#39;s not my fault. Yeah. Nothing is my fault. I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just here and I&#39;m I&#39;m doing my best, but nothing&#39;s ever my fault. David: 1:02 Everyone wants to improve every year. Everyone&#39;s like, what can I change about myself to make myself better? I&#39;m like, no, I&#39;m devolving. I want to get worse and worse and worse. Gavin: 1:09 But better at being your worst self, too, I think. Like just refining your true nature, I would say. We were talking about resolutions with my kids the other day. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m this is not something I want to push. And especially because, like when my daughter said, I want to, she said something along the lines of, I want to be able to shop smarter. And I&#39;m like, oh, your resolution is to spend more of my money, but just in a smarter way. No, no. I&#39;m nope. I&#39;m a victim. This isn&#39;t my fault. David: 1:41 Anyway. Your victim of the era. I love it. But we do want to apologize to you, listener, because normally, normally we we release our episodes on Wednesdays and we were all ready to go. And uh my entire family, um, my mama&#39;s visiting, my two kids, my husband and me, all just fell into this sickness. We were gross, everyone was everyone had the flu, basically. And um, I was trying to figure out how we all got it, and I think I figured it out. Oh. So we went to Times Square, you&#39;ve heard of it, um, to meet a friend of the show, Allison uh Friedman, who was on our back to school special and her family, and we met them uh in Times Square at a restaurant, and we&#39;re sitting there. And my son likes to put things in his mouth, he likes to chew on straws, he likes to do things, and it&#39;s so frustrating. So we&#39;re sitting there and he is clearly something in his mouth. I said, What is in your mouth? And he like opens his mouth, and I could see it&#39;s the wrapping of the Crayola crayon he was coloring. I said, please spit that out. Right and he does it. I said, Spit it out, take it out of your mouth. And so what he does at a Times Square restaurant, which is is if anybody doesn&#39;t already you might as well be in the New York Subway in a bathroom. He leans down and he licks the table with a look of you, dad. And all of us, all of us, Alice, everyone froze. And I went, oh my god, oh no, oh my god, this is our last day with our son because he just licked the table of a Times Square restaurant. So I&#39;m pretty sure that&#39;s where it came from. But we&#39;re sorry, listener, we are late, but we are back. We&#39;re back on our same bullshit. Uh, we have a really mediocre episode ready for you. Gavin: 3:32 Well, but I do want to know, um, did did you have a good holiday, David? Did Santa bring you everything you could have hoped for? David: 3:37 You know, he did, as I&#39;m sure you are. There&#39;s too many presents, and presents make my kids assholes. Uh it&#39;s the same with screen time. It&#39;s like you think like, oh, you give them more and it&#39;s more exciting. It&#39;s actually it reduced. If you when they were opening their stocking, they were just happy. They were like, oh, look at this little thing. When they got a mound of presents, they became actual monsters. Actual monsters. Gavin: 4:00 I mean, what is the remedy for that, do you think? David: 4:03 Prison. Gavin: 4:05 I don&#39;t know. I do think though, the gift giving is so just so bizarre. Where my partner and I basically we bought each other stuff, and I&#39;m like, you could have just given me money and I would have just gone and gotten my own thing. I should have just written you a check. This is the problem. David: 4:19 We&#39;re grown people who can buy our own popcorn maker. I don&#39;t need you, I don&#39;t need to send you an Amazon link for the popcorn maker I want. Right. And then you buy it and have it sent to me. Gavin: 4:29 Except you did it wrong somehow. Somehow it wasn&#39;t exactly the way I wanted my popcorn maker. Yeah. I mean, my uh I will say that my partner is really good at clever little simple gifts, which is sweet. When he goes all out, then I&#39;m like, oh, I didn&#39;t really want pinstripe on that shirt. I I really thank you, but anyway, gift giving is fucked up. David: 4:51 We should just it is fucked up because we all have the vision of like we bought our kids bikes this year, and we have the vision of like them, them walking down the stairs and like Chris Michael Bublé is playing in the background softly, and they they just scream with glee and they jump on their bikes and they&#39;re running around the neighborhood and everything. It&#39;s never that. It&#39;s never that. Um, and so yes, no, I uh it was a it was a lesson learned that like they were so happy with their tiny little bullshit in the stocking, they didn&#39;t need 40 extra presents to make them actual monsters. So every year we&#39;re gonna try to reduce it. Gavin: 5:24 But I was gonna say this, it&#39;s just a hamster wheel of doing the same thing over and over again. Let&#39;s let&#39;s put a pin in this, come back in a year and see if we made any changes. But as you said, we&#39;re just devolving in our lives anyway, so who cares? David: 5:36 Anyway, who fucking cares? But um, one of the things I want to talk about today, because we haven&#39;t really talked about it before, and I feel like we all do this, so it&#39;s important, is babysitters. Babysitter, okay. You use babysitters or did did you use baby sitters? Gavin: 5:50 I used to, don&#39;t have to. Another level of freedom. Yeah. Now we just let them. Well, now we just know that the babysitter is Netflix and YouTube. David: 5:59 So you could just leave the house and just just go and not go away for six hours? Gavin: 6:05 Yes. And we do it regularly. Don&#39;t worry, you will get there. It will get overnights. Uh what about overnights? We have we no, we have had okay, we&#39;ve had a couple of instances lately. This is so not interesting. Um, or germane to have a lot of people. David: 6:22 Make sure to say it on the first episode of 2025. Yeah. Gavin: 6:25 But we have there have been a couple of times that my partner and I have been both out of town on the same night for work, and we just we send the kids to have sleepovers at friends&#39; houses. And it horrifies my husband, my partner, that he that we are asking for help. And I&#39;m like, no, no, this is this is tribal, man. We need to what you do. Yes. Um, but you did babysitters back. Yes, we sure did. David: 6:44 And so I was like, oh, there&#39;s some things that I feel like I wanted to know before I started using babysitters that maybe we could talk about. One is what do you pay them? And obviously, like this is somewhat regional, and obviously in the 1400s when you were hiring babysitters, it wasn&#39;t, you know, I think you traded them a bale of hay and a donkey or something. Shillings, yes, and a chicken. Um, but what my rule is that you ask the babysitter when you&#39;re interviewing them or when you ever meet them what they charge. Yeah. And whatever number it&#39;s awkward, but you gotta ask. But whatever number they say is what you pay them. And if the number is too high for you to hire them, then you just don&#39;t hire them. What makes me a little icky is if somebody&#39;s like 20 bucks an hour and you&#39;re like, how about 15? I&#39;m like, you&#39;re you&#39;re negotiating down for the care of your child. Gavin: 7:28 Yeah, I agree with you there. Uh and yeah, if it&#39;s just too expensive, maybe the person&#39;s already in the house. Well, you should have figured out that, figured that out first, but you just don&#39;t hire them again. David: 7:38 So yeah, and and our just for transparency, we live in the obviously in uh just outside New York City. Um, all of our babysitters either ask for or we pay them$23 an hour. I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s average for this area or this, the whatever. So we pay them$23 an hour. The other thing, my question for you is let&#39;s say you&#39;re like, I need a babysitter from 5 to 8 p.m., right? And you book them from 5 to 8 p.m. and you come home at 7 p.m. What do you pay? What do you gave and lodge pay them? Full amount. Full amount. Gavin: 8:05 You don&#39;t you don&#39;t take away money. You what you do is you don&#39;t ever come home. Even if you just sit out in the driveway or at a coffee shop or at a bar it is across the street from your house, you kill an hour, and that is a gift to yourself, by the way. Admittedly, a$23 an hour gift, but you don&#39;t go home early. Wait, have you ever showed up early? David: 8:26 And I mean, uh probably not, but uh but I I feel like it has happened where I&#39;m like, oh, I assume this play would last longer or whatever. Um but I agree, like, like for sure, pay them the full amount. Now, yes, here&#39;s the other thing. You book them from 5 to 8 p.m. But you ask if they can stay later, they say yes. You show up at, let&#39;s say, 8 20 p.m. How much do you pay them? Gavin: 8:48 Time and a half uh I another twenty-three divided by two, carry the one times by six. I don&#39;t think I would go for a full hour, especially if they said that they could stay longer, but I would definitely pay. I wouldn&#39;t totally nickel in dime, I would pay a full half hour. David: 9:04 Like half hour. Yeah, I agree. I think I think once you&#39;re going over paying by half hour, just cut the right. You round up. Exactly. And if you&#39;re close to an hour or right at that 30-minute mark, just pay them the full fucking hour. Yeah. These, especially if you have good ones. We are so lucky. We have two, we have a lot of uh babysitters, but um, or that we&#39;ve used throughout the years, but we have two like our like hardcore like inner circle ones that are just so great and we just love them so much, and they come with ideas and they&#39;re that we trust them. So we had a babysitter. Gavin: 9:34 What&#39;s their background? David: 9:35 Are they teens or no, no, no? These are adults. 50 year olds? Oh, one of them is uh uh we poached from our old daycare, um, and the other one is a friend I&#39;ve known for 20 years, but they&#39;re adults, and and so that brings me actually to the next section of like what do you look for in a babysitter? What are like good qualities of a babysitter other than keep my child alive? Gavin: 9:55 Yeah, right. David: 9:56 That&#39;s number one. To me, the the the for for when we had younger kids is when you have a hard goodbye, right? You&#39;re leaving, they&#39;re screaming, they don&#39;t want you to go, don&#39;t go, daddy, don&#39;t go drinking at the bar, and you&#39;re like, no, Gabin&#39;s meeting me there. I&#39;m right. Gabin&#39;s gonna be there. Um, is that once they&#39;ve calmed down, because you know they always calm down within like two minutes, but you just can&#39;t see even less. Yeah, is that the babysitter sends you like a funny picture of them eating a banana or like playing with a game or something? And so our babysitters are really kind when we have bad uh goodbyes, is that they&#39;ll send us a photo right away, like hanging out watching Frozen or whatever, and we&#39;re just like, okay, they are not dying, they are okay, everything is fine. So I that to me, that&#39;s really important one. Uh-huh. Gavin: 10:41 I&#39;m okay. I appreciate that outreach at that the same time. There&#39;s part of me that&#39;s like out of sight, out of mind. I mean, as unless something is going wrong, you can take cute pictures, that&#39;s fine. I&#39;m just gonna assume that you&#39;re doing a good job. I really, really, really hope though, I&#39;m paying somebody not to just watch TV with my kids. Yeah. I really do hope that they will be active in some way. I mean, listen, if you&#39;re gonna be there for six, let&#39;s say this two and a half hours or less, there better not be screens involved. Once you hit a three hour, a longer mark. I understand everybody needs a break. Everybody needs a break. That&#39;s fine. David: 11:19 But there&#39;s always those babysitters you see when they walk in, they go right for that remote, and you&#39;re like, uh, we have a babysitter that again, we love that comes in usually with a bag of shit. Even if it&#39;s like she&#39;ll go to the dollar store and just get some bullshit, and she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know, let&#39;s rake sugar like it&#39;s sand in this box. You know what I mean? Like whatever it is. But then that&#39;s like it&#39;s really exciting, especially because I have very young kids. Now, obviously, if you have older kids or teens or whatever, it&#39;s kind of like, you know, just let me look at my iPad. Um but we had uh uh one uh going conversely, things you don&#39;t like in a babysitter. We had a babysitter once who we had uh we&#39;re having dinner about 30 minutes south of here. And as soon as we got there, the second we arrived to our friend&#39;s house, we got a text that said, I don&#39;t feel good, I need to leave. Wait, and so babysitter, obviously. And so I called her. I was like, what&#39;s going on? She&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know. Um, I took some medicine and I don&#39;t feel right and I need to leave. I said, Okay, well, we&#39;re about a half hour away, we&#39;ll start heading in. She&#39;s like, No, no, no, I need to leave. And I was like, baby, you can&#39;t just walk out of the house with my child, my infant in the house. And she&#39;s like, I have to. And I was like, oh my God, what am I gonna do? Luckily, we had a neighbor and I called her and said, Can you just walk in and just stand there so this this girl can leave or whatever? But I was like, okay, I would like to not hire you again because that is terrifying. And did you ever hire that person again? Absolutely not. unknown: 12:45 Are you fucking kidding me? Gavin: 12:47 Um that&#39;s pretty funny though. David: 12:49 That&#39;s and you know what&#39;s weird though. Last thing I was thinking about when I was thinking about babysitters was there aren&#39;t we, I&#39;ve never had a male babysitter. Every time I&#39;ve ever put the call out, every time I&#39;ve been to these babysitter forums, even at daycare, all the daycare teachers, all women. Gavin: 13:02 Why is that? We had lots of boy babysitters. Oh, really? Lots of because we were in the city and we always got in networks of like uh uh actors. And so I don&#39;t know, there were there were a fair amount of, I mean, there was literally like this actors babysitters club that we got into, which was hilarious, and they were all very, very kind, but there were a lot of boys, um, for sure. And they were also, let&#39;s face it, they were actors, so they were creative, um, enthusiastic, really...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s a new year, and the same tired us. This week, David&apos;s son gets the family sick, Gavin is annoyed with gifts, we talk about babysitters and why we love them, we rank the top 3 funniest things that aren&apos;t funny, and this week we are joined by Broadway alum and therapist Brian Spitulnik about his record 15 years in the Broadway musical Chicago, his transition to mental health, what he&apos;s observed in his practice with gay Dads, and we quiz him on how he&apos;d be a better parent than us. (Easily.) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What? Babysitters? I was just moving, I was hating. You have literally three things before this, before babysitters. Gavin: 0:07 I know, but we already decided that we were going to move that on because what you have to say is so much funnier and more interesting. And this is Gatriarchs. David and listener, happy new year. It is 2025, y&#39;all. Okay, we&#39;re a couple of days late. We&#39;ll get into that. Excuse later. But this is a new era. David: 0:37 What is this new era for you, David? This new era is us peddling the same hired bullshit year after year, episode after episode, until we lose our one listener. Gavin: 0:51 For the love of it. This is my era of victimhood. It&#39;s not my fault. Yeah. Nothing is my fault. I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just here and I&#39;m I&#39;m doing my best, but nothing&#39;s ever my fault. David: 1:02 Everyone wants to improve every year. Everyone&#39;s like, what can I change about myself to make myself better? I&#39;m like, no, I&#39;m devolving. I want to get worse and worse and worse. Gavin: 1:09 But better at being your worst self, too, I think. Like just refining your true nature, I would say. We were talking about resolutions with my kids the other day. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m this is not something I want to push. And especially because, like when my daughter said, I want to, she said something along the lines of, I want to be able to shop smarter. And I&#39;m like, oh, your resolution is to spend more of my money, but just in a smarter way. No, no. I&#39;m nope. I&#39;m a victim. This isn&#39;t my fault. David: 1:41 Anyway. Your victim of the era. I love it. But we do want to apologize to you, listener, because normally, normally we we release our episodes on Wednesdays and we were all ready to go. And uh my entire family, um, my mama&#39;s visiting, my two kids, my husband and me, all just fell into this sickness. We were gross, everyone was everyone had the flu, basically. And um, I was trying to figure out how we all got it, and I think I figured it out. Oh. So we went to Times Square, you&#39;ve heard of it, um, to meet a friend of the show, Allison uh Friedman, who was on our back to school special and her family, and we met them uh in Times Square at a restaurant, and we&#39;re sitting there. And my son likes to put things in his mouth, he likes to chew on straws, he likes to do things, and it&#39;s so frustrating. So we&#39;re sitting there and he is clearly something in his mouth. I said, What is in your mouth? And he like opens his mouth, and I could see it&#39;s the wrapping of the Crayola crayon he was coloring. I said, please spit that out. Right and he does it. I said, Spit it out, take it out of your mouth. And so what he does at a Times Square restaurant, which is is if anybody doesn&#39;t already you might as well be in the New York Subway in a bathroom. He leans down and he licks the table with a look of you, dad. And all of us, all of us, Alice, everyone froze. And I went, oh my god, oh no, oh my god, this is our last day with our son because he just licked the table of a Times Square restaurant. So I&#39;m pretty sure that&#39;s where it came from. But we&#39;re sorry, listener, we are late, but we are back. We&#39;re back on our same bullshit. Uh, we have a really mediocre episode ready for you.]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a new year, and the same tired us. This week, David&apos;s son gets the family sick, Gavin is annoyed with gifts, we talk about babysitters and why we love them, we rank the top 3 funniest things that aren&apos;t funny, and this week we are joined by Broadway alum and therapist Brian Spitulnik about his record 15 years in the Broadway musical Chicago, his transition to mental health, what he&apos;s observed in his practice with gay Dads, and we quiz him on how he&apos;d be a better parent than us. (Easily.) Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What? Babysitters? I was just moving, I was hating. You have literally three things before this, before babysitters. Gavin: 0:07 I know, but we already decided that we were going to move that on because what you have to say is so much funnier and more interesting. And this is Gatriarchs. David and listener, happy new ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with voice actor and comedian Candi Milo</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-voice-actor-and-comedian-candi-milo/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Dec 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kharma comes full circle and he is the old one, Gavin is making theatre kids, we educate the childless about how to be good friends to the childed, we rank the top 3 relaxing things, and this week we are joined by comedian, actress, voice actor and all around nut Candi Milo who dives deep into her strange childhood, her incredible career, and why you can always catch her eating a footlong in the Valley. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what&#39;s in it&#39;s a little bit we both got it. Uh our top three of wait oh fuck. You were doing so good too. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 So my son was sitting in my lap. He was looking at me, and it was one of those like really sweet moments. He was like playing with my beard. And he was just touching it, and he was like, What is this right here? And he puts this little area of hair, I don&#39;t know if you can see, underneath my neck, which is turning a little gray. It was black. I have weird patchy facial hair. I have like red and blonde and black and brown. Gavin: 0:52 I can see it through the camera right now. I look like it is screaming. It&#39;s like an ad campaign coming through Zoom for uh just for men. Yeah, dying your beard. David: 1:04 It&#39;s basically red and blonde, but then I had this black circle for what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 1:08 All I can see is the gray. David: 1:09 All I can see is the gray. You know what? Shut the fuck up. So this black part has started to go a little bit gray. And so he touched it and he goes, What is this? And I said, Oh, my hair is getting a little gray. And he goes, he started to tear up. I said, What&#39;s wrong? He goes, I don&#39;t want you to get old and die. Gavin: 1:26 And I was like, like my soul, which I already has. David: 1:31 First of all, this is my first gray hair I&#39;ve ever had, and I&#39;m 45. So I should be congratulated. Second of all, I&#39;m not gonna die now. So he thinks I&#39;m old and gonna die. Well, so that&#39;s how I started my week. Gavin: 1:43 That&#39;s the rest of your life as a parent, also is just you&#39;re about to die because you&#39;re so old. Yes. Speaking of things that need to die, defying gravity. Are you are you? I mean, did wicked take over your household like it has taken over mine? Kids of different ages, I realize it might not have touched you. David: 2:05 It it it it it it didn&#39;t with my kids because they&#39;re too young, but we we are two homosexuals who enjoy Broadway. So of course we&#39;re there the first weekend for sure. Gavin: 2:13 Well, it has definitely stayed real strong in our household, obviously, because I have a daughter who who doesn&#39;t realize how much she sings, and it should be a wonderful thing that we always celebrate, but David, she never shuts up. David: 2:27 She could Where does she get that from? Gavin: 2:30 She never stops singing, ever stops singing. And the thing is, she&#39;s a tremendous singer, so obviously we want to encourage it, but no, we don&#39;t. Like the you need to you need to take a break or go channel it somewhere. But of course, as I&#39;ve already established, she&#39;s too good for theater. So that&#39;s why she hasn&#39;t auditioned for anything ever. Not that disclaimer, not that we want her to pursue the arts because obviously she needs to be a doctor or an attorney. Anyway, you know, we&#39;ve been pushing her because we say you are such a talented kid. You love to dance. I mean, just TikTok dancing. She&#39;s never taken a lesson in her life because she doesn&#39;t want to be like us, right? She never stops singing, etc. And um, so um she recently her school is on a system where she takes her unified arts. You&#39;ll learn about this later. Her UA classes kind of um switch a lot during the year. So for three months she&#39;ll be doing one class, and for two months she&#39;ll do another class, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So she&#39;s in a new class and she had to bring in something that represents herself. And so she said, I&#39;m bringing my ticket to Wicked because I love Broadway. And I was like, Wait, I what do you you you do? You you appreciate this thing that we&#39;ve tried to, you know, gift to you for so long and you&#39;ve always pushed back because you hate it all. And it&#39;s just another reminder that however much you push your kids to be the way you want them to be, boy, daddy, you need to back the fuck up and just let them find their way. David: 3:56 But she probably also pushed against it prior just because her dads were in it. Gavin: 4:00 Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? David: 4:01 And then now the actual joy is starting to seep into her. She&#39;s like, oh fuck, I actually really like this thing. How am I gonna go around giving my dads the pleasure of knowing that I am into the thing that they did professionally for years? Gavin: 4:14 Yeah, yeah. And again, I mean that&#39;s there&#39;s that push me pull you, too, is that we&#39;re like, we don&#39;t want you. She&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to do what you want me to do. We&#39;re like, okay, right, right. You don&#39;t have to do what we did. David: 4:26 It reminds me of that scene in Friday Night Lights where he goes, I don&#39;t want your life. Do you know that scene? Anyway, it was a really good performance of that that a Broadway caliber, if you will. Yeah. Gavin: 4:36 That tracks entirely. David: 4:38 You know what was a really bad performance was there is a crossing guard by our bus stop, and he is, you know, a 300-year-old man, and this is his only job. And it&#39;s very like you are not disparaging. You are not disparaged. I&#39;m just like, I like the fitting the stereotype, right? Like this is this is the crossing guard or whatever, and he&#39;s very nice. And every day he says hello, and on half days he says, Remember, it&#39;s a half day, and all these things. Well, I&#39;m standing there and I&#39;m listening to him talk to kids as they come by, and this one kid came by and he goes, hello, and the kid was like, hi. And the guy goes, Did you miss me? I was gone for three weeks. I was in the hospital. Oh, and the kid just said nothing and kept walking. And he went, Okay, bye. Oh, jeez. I was like, this poor man was in the hospital and nobody noticed. Nobody had nobody. I didn&#39;t know. Gavin: 5:28 I was like, I don&#39;t know. Challenge you to bring flowers to that guy and say, We missed you. Just come on, be kind for once, David. David: 5:38 I don&#39;t even know how to be kind, but it is the season for being kind, is it not? Tis the season. Tis the season. It&#39;s a holiday season. Gavin: 5:47 Are you ready for it all? Oh, yes, of course. You were too fair. In September, you were. David: 5:53 There are very few people in my life where we do exchange of presents. So that takes a lot of pressure off. It&#39;s like mom, internal family, so kids and husband. And honestly, that&#39;s it. Some friends do like an ornament exchange, but other than that, I have no gifts to buy. So it&#39;s actually pretty great. All right. So I get to just relax and enjoy and bake and make things that are gonna make me fat. What&#39;s your favorite thing to bake? My favorite thing to bake is cookies only because I like eating them. Yeah. But this year, my two bakes, because we&#39;re going to a friend&#39;s house for Thanksgiving, are homemade apple pie, which is kind of basic, bitch, but it&#39;s gonna be all homemade. And then also this um this uh this famous uh pumpkin pie recipe that has like salted caramel shell with like white chocolate pumpkin ganache. It&#39;s a fucking fancy thing. And it takes four days to make, and I&#39;m gonna make that. Gavin: 6:42 That um I I don&#39;t even know what to say because I&#39;m not a pumpkin pie fan, but that&#39;s awesome. Anyway, so Christmas. Um, I I can&#39;t wait for you to tell us how your Thanksgiving pie went um next in January at our next episode. Anyway, Christmas is around the corner. It uh it does remind me every single year. I annoy the hell out of my kids by trying to find a way to remind them what&#39;s the meaning of it all. Because, oh my god, my daughter, boy, does she have a list a mile long. And she&#39;s out of toys now. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s tough. Just you wait. It&#39;s tough at this age because my kids aren&#39;t into toys anymore, which is such an easy way to delight kids. And now they&#39;re just like, if they open a sweater, they&#39;re like, oh, I really wanted this. Put it down, pick up your phone. And there&#39;s nothing, it&#39;s so hard to always have a little challenge. My challenge to myself is to find something that we can all do as a family. They hate puzzles, basically, because I suggest it. They hate games, basically because I suggest it. So it&#39;s um that&#39;s always the challenge to like keep them occupied because we don&#39;t have Legos and shit to put together anymore. But you need a new family. Your family hates all of your ideas, everything. I&#39;ve brought this on myself, I&#39;m sure. Um, but this does all remind me of a couple years ago. I&#39;ve shared this story before, but let&#39;s revisit. It&#39;s worth it. When uh we were decorating for Christmas, and I did want to get on my soapbox just a little bit, even though we are not big religious people. I said to my daughter, um, well, you know what the real meaning of Christmas is uh or why we celebrate Christmas, right? She said, to get presents. I said, Oh, yeah. And and for Santa, yes, yes. But um also there&#39;s um there&#39;s uh the tradition out there that Jesus was born on Christmas. And she goes, Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we knew we would start laughing. But despite that um harrowing uh representation of what Christmas means, you know, it&#39;s I&#39;m all about like trying to have those difficult discussions about like what it really means. Because I don&#39;t want my kids to just walk around entitled all the time, thinking we get days off for Christmas and get presents for Christmas and all that. Because, you know, there&#39;s a meaning for the season, honestly. Not to sound like the Fox News correspondent. David: 8:54 Well, you are, because first of all, historically, I think Jesus was born in June and they just missed it to compete with Saturnalia and whatever. Totally. Gavin: 9:01 And yes, and um uh pagan rituals around uh winter and yeah. David: 9:06 Totally. But that brings up a thing I wanted to quickly talk about because I know I have a another sub uh section I want to talk about. But um, I have been running into now again, I have a five and two-year-old, so I have very young kids, but my five-year-old is like old enough now to like ask a lot of questions that are maybe ahead of him. And one of the things that&#39;s come up because of the election, because of uh Christmas, because of all those things, words like God, Trump, church, like all of these like really big words have come into play. And he hasn&#39;t started to really deep dive, but I know it&#39;s coming. And really, my question was like, how do I define these terms as so for God, as an atheist family, as a liberal for Trump, as you know, all these things. It&#39;s like, how do you define these things with giving your kid the kind of full spectrum of what it is, but also your family&#39;s point of view, but also you may find a different point of view, all of those like very dangerous things at five. Like my my son came home and he was like, I don&#39;t want, I want, I don&#39;t want the boy to win because one of you, he&#39;s gonna take one of you away from me. Oh, yeah. So that&#39;s his vision of Trump already, right? Right. Um, God, right? We are an atheist family, we don&#39;t go to church, but we have friends and family who go to church. And so defining it without being like him going, well, why aren&#39;t we believing that? Gavin: 10:22 Or maybe that&#39;s what I want to elicit. David: 10:24 I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 10:24 Uh for my unsolicited advice that you&#39;re seeking here right now is the advice that I do not follow. My my partner It&#39;s the best advice, right? My partner is constantly saying to me, Gavin, stop talking to them like it&#39;s a college lecture. Bring it down to their level. David: 10:43 How many of our listener are shaking their heads right now? Gavin: 10:46 How many of our listeners simplifying and making it short? Which is hilarious. I am I know I know, I know. It is not my greatest um talent to simplify and keep it short, but simplify and keep it short and keep their facts. Actually, I actually actually I did get advice from a teacher the other day who said ask them first what their opinion is or what they know and riff on that. David: 11:17 Totally. That that&#39;s really that&#39;s actually good advice. Um did you see how I kept it simple and short? You didn&#39;t, though. When you were describing how you don&#39;t keep it simple, that was the longest thing I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire fucking life. Anyway, so I&#39;m I I know these things are coming, especially as our government starts to collapse and we start to wear our red hoods. Right. It&#39;s I I&#39;m gonna have to start defining these hard things, but you&#39;re right. Start keeping it super simple, but also asking him what he knows and then expanding on that. Gavin: 11:44 There is our dad hack of the week. Talking to have one and it was great. I know. Talking about tough topics with your kids first, ask them what they know and what they believe. David: 11:53 There you go. So, one of the last things I want to talk about before we move on to our little bits is, and this I don&#39;t know why. I don&#39;t know why, but I think about this more than anything as a parent. I think about friends of mine or people who are friends with non-parents and that relationship, the relationship you have with your existing friends, and then one of you becomes a parent and how that works. And so I was like, well, how can I help people? And I was like, okay, I&#39;m gonna give my advice and gave in you two to people who are friends with parents but who are not parents because they don&#39;t want to be, right? Not because they haven&#39;t been parents yet. Right. And because I think there&#39;s a lot of misconceptions by the childless people about childed people. So one of the things I want to suggest is as a friend of a person who has kids, always assume they can do the thing you want them to do, even though it may not happen, even though, oh, that&#39;s during school hours, even though, oh, on the weekends are hard for them. Ask us anyway. Ask us to the play, ask us to lunch, and let us say, so sorry, the kids or whatever. Because we are so desperate for adult interaction. And don&#39;t give up. Don&#39;t give up on us. Don&#39;t give up on us because we would rather fight to move things around to make it work and see you. Don&#39;t try to like take that burden on yourself. Okay. Uh the other thing is don&#39;t fake a relationship with our kids that you is not earnest. And I mean, like, if you don&#39;t really spend much time with them, like say hi, hi five them, ask them how day their day was, but don&#39;t like pretend that you need to have this deep conversation. We we don&#39;t need that. Like, I don&#39;t need that. Gavin: 13:30 And the kids don&#39;t care. David: 13:31 The kids don&#39;t care. You&#39;re you don&#39;t have to be as close with my kids as you are with me to maintain a relationship with me. And I think that is a I could understand how you could be confused about that. Um, maybe some people will disagree. I don&#39;t know. Uh email us. Um the other thing, you being childless is a good thing, and we do not judge you about that. I often hear from my childless friends like, well, you know, we would have had kids, but like they&#39;re trying to be defensive as if I think having kids is better than not having kids. Ask...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kharma comes full circle and he is the old one, Gavin is making theatre kids, we educate the childless about how to be good friends to the childed, we rank the top 3 relaxing things, and this week we are joined by comedian, actres]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kharma comes full circle and he is the old one, Gavin is making theatre kids, we educate the childless about how to be good friends to the childed, we rank the top 3 relaxing things, and this week we are joined by comedian, actress, voice actor and all around nut Candi Milo who dives deep into her strange childhood, her incredible career, and why you can always catch her eating a footlong in the Valley. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what&#39;s in it&#39;s a little bit we both got it. Uh our top three of wait oh fuck. You were doing so good too. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 So my son was sitting in my lap. He was looking at me, and it was one of those like really sweet moments. He was like playing with my beard. And he was just touching it, and he was like, What is this right here? And he puts this little area of hair, I don&#39;t know if you can see, underneath my neck, which is turning a little gray. It was black. I have weird patchy facial hair. I have like red and blonde and black and brown. Gavin: 0:52 I can see it through the camera right now. I look like it is screaming. It&#39;s like an ad campaign coming through Zoom for uh just for men. Yeah, dying your beard. David: 1:04 It&#39;s basically red and blonde, but then I had this black circle for what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 1:08 All I can see is the gray. David: 1:09 All I can see is the gray. You know what? Shut the fuck up. So this black part has started to go a little bit gray. And so he touched it and he goes, What is this? And I said, Oh, my hair is getting a little gray. And he goes, he started to tear up. I said, What&#39;s wrong? He goes, I don&#39;t want you to get old and die. Gavin: 1:26 And I was like, like my soul, which I already has. David: 1:31 First of all, this is my first gray hair I&#39;ve ever had, and I&#39;m 45. So I should be congratulated. Second of all, I&#39;m not gonna die now. So he thinks I&#39;m old and gonna die. Well, so that&#39;s how I started my week. Gavin: 1:43 That&#39;s the rest of your life as a parent, also is just you&#39;re about to die because you&#39;re so old. Yes. Speaking of things that need to die, defying gravity. Are you are you? I mean, did wicked take over your household like it has taken over mine? Kids of different ages, I realize it might not have touched you. David: 2:05 It it it it it it didn&#39;t with my kids because they&#39;re too young, but we we are two homosexuals who enjoy Broadway. So of course we&#39;re there the first weekend for sure. Gavin: 2:13 Well, it has definitely stayed real strong in our household, obviously, because I have a daughter who who doesn&#39;t realize how much she sings, and it should be a wonderful thing that we always celebrate, but David, she never shuts up. David: 2:27 She could Where does she get that from? Gavin: 2:30 She never stops singing, ever stops singing. And the thing is, she&#39;s a tremendous singer, so obviously we want to encourage it, but no, we don&#39;t. Like the you need to you need to take a break or go channel it somewhere. But of course, as I&#39;ve already established, she&#39;s too good for theater. So that&#39;s why she hasn&#39;t auditioned for anything ever. Not that disclaimer, not that we want her to pursue the arts because obviously she needs to be a doctor or an attorney. Anyway, you know, we&#39;ve been pushing her because we say you are such a talented kid. You love to dance. I mean, just TikTok dancing. She&#39;s never taken a lesson in her life because she doesn&#39;t want to be like us, right? She never stops singing, etc. And um, so um she recently her school is on a system where she takes her unified arts. You&#39;ll learn about this later. Her UA classes kind of um switch a lot during the year. So for three months she&#39;ll be doing one class, and for two months she&#39;ll do another class, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So she&#39;s in a new class and she had to bring in something that represents herself. And so she said, I&#39;m bringing my ticket to Wicked because I love Broadway. And I was like, Wait, I what do you you you do? You you appreciate this thing that we&#39;ve tried to, you know, gift to you for so long and you&#39;ve always pushed back because you hate it all. And it&#39;s just another reminder that however much you push your kids to be the way you want them to be, boy, daddy, you need to back the fuck up and just let them find their way. David: 3:56 But she probably also pushed against it prior just because her dads were in it. Gavin: 4:00 Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? David: 4:01 And then now the actual joy is starting to seep into her. She&#39;s like, oh fuck, I actually really like this thing. How am I gonna go around giving my dads the pleasure of knowing that I am into the thing that they did professionally for years? Gavin: 4:14 Yeah, yeah. And again, I mean that&#39;s there&#39;s that push me pull you, too, is that we&#39;re like, we don&#39;t want you. She&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to do what you want me to do. We&#39;re like, okay, right, right. You don&#39;t have to do what we did. David: 4:26 It reminds me of that scene in Friday Night Lights where he goes, I don&#39;t want your life. Do you know that scene? Anyway, it was a really good performance of that that a Broadway caliber, if you will. Yeah. Gavin: 4:36 That tracks entirely. David: 4:38 You know what was a really bad performance was there is a crossing guard by our bus stop, and he is, you know, a 300-year-old man, and this is his only job. And it&#39;s very like you are not disparaging. You are not disparaged. I&#39;m just like, I like the fitting the stereotype, right? Like this is this is the crossing guard or whatever, and he&#39;s very nice. And every day he says hello, and on half days he says, Remember, it&#39;s a half day, and all these things. Well, I&#39;m standing there and I&#39;m listening to him talk to kids as they come by, and this one kid came by and he goes, hello, and the kid was like, hi. And the guy goes, Did you miss me? I was gone for three weeks. I was in the hospital. Oh, and the kid just said nothing and kept walking. And he went, Okay, bye. Oh, jeez. I was like, this poor man was in the hospital and nobody noticed. Nobody had nobody. I didn&#39;t know. Gavin: 5:28 I was like, I don&#39;t know. Challenge you to bring flowers to that guy and say, We missed you. Just come on, be kind for once, David. David: 5:38 I don&#39;t even know how to be kind, but it is the season for being kind, is it not? Tis the season. Tis the season. It&#39;s a holiday season. Gavin: 5:47 Are you ready for it all? Oh, yes, of course. You were too fair. In September, you were. David: 5:53 There are very few people in my life where we do exchange of presents. So that takes a lot of pressure off. It&#39;s like mom, internal family, so kids and husband. And honestly, that&#39;s it. Some friends do like an ornament exchange, but other than that, I have no gifts to buy. So it&#39;s actually pretty great. All right. So I get to just relax and enjoy and bake and make things that are gonna make me fat. What&#39;s your favorite thing to bake? My favorite thing to bake is cookies only because I like eating them. Yeah. But this year, my two bakes, because we&#39;re going to a friend&#39;s house for Thanksgiving, are homemade apple pie, which is kind of basic, bitch, but it&#39;s gonna be all homemade. And then also this um this uh this famous uh pumpkin pie recipe that has like salted caramel shell with like white chocolate pumpkin ganache. It&#39;s a fucking fancy thing. And it takes four days to make, and I&#39;m gonna make that. Gavin: 6:42 That um I I don&#39;t even know what to say because I&#39;m not a pumpkin pie fan, but that&#39;s awesome. Anyway, so Christmas. Um, I I can&#39;t wait for you to tell us how your Thanksgiving pie went um next in January at our next episode. Anyway, Christmas is around the corner. It uh it does remind me every single year. I annoy the hell out of my kids by trying to find a way to remind them what&#39;s the meaning of it all. Because, oh my god, my daughter, boy, does she have a list a mile long. And she&#39;s out of toys now. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s tough. Just you wait. It&#39;s tough at this age because my kids aren&#39;t into toys anymore, which is such an easy way to delight kids. And now they&#39;re just like, if they open a sweater, they&#39;re like, oh, I really wanted this. Put it down, pick up your phone. And there&#39;s nothing, it&#39;s so hard to always have a little challenge. My challenge to myself is to find something that we can all do as a family. They hate puzzles, basically, because I suggest it. They hate games, basically because I suggest it. So it&#39;s um that&#39;s always the challenge to like keep them occupied because we don&#39;t have Legos and shit to put together anymore. But you need a new family. Your family hates all of your ideas, everything. I&#39;ve brought this on myself, I&#39;m sure. Um, but this does all remind me of a couple years ago. I&#39;ve shared this story before, but let&#39;s revisit. It&#39;s worth it. When uh we were decorating for Christmas, and I did want to get on my soapbox just a little bit, even though we are not big religious people. I said to my daughter, um, well, you know what the real meaning of Christmas is uh or why we celebrate Christmas, right? She said, to get presents. I said, Oh, yeah. And and for Santa, yes, yes. But um also there&#39;s um there&#39;s uh the tradition out there that Jesus was born on Christmas. And she goes, Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we knew we would start laughing. But despite that um harrowing uh representation of what Christmas means, you know, it&#39;s I&#39;m all about like trying to have those difficult discussions about like what it really means. Because I don&#39;t want my kids to just walk around entitled all the time, thinking we get days off for Christmas and get presents for Christmas and all that. Because, you know, there&#39;s a meaning for the season, honestly. Not to sound like the Fox News correspondent. David: 8:54 Well, you are, because first of all, historically, I think Jesus was born in June and they just missed it to compete with Saturnalia and whatever. Totally. Gavin: 9:01 And yes, and um uh pagan rituals around uh winter and yeah. David: 9:06 Totally. But that brings up a thing I wanted to quickly talk about because I know I have a another sub uh section I want to talk about. But um, I have been running into now again, I have a five and two-year-old, so I have very young kids, but my five-year-old is like old enough now to like ask a lot of questions that are maybe ahead of him. And one of the things that&#39;s come up because of the election, because of uh Christmas, because of all those things, words like God, Trump, church, like all of these like really big words have come into play. And he hasn&#39;t started to really deep dive, but I know it&#39;s coming. And really, my question was like, how do I define these terms as so for God, as an atheist family, as a liberal for Trump, as you know, all these things. It&#39;s like, how do you define these things with giving your kid the kind of full spectrum of what it is, but also your family&#39;s point of view, but also you may find a different point of view, all of those like very dangerous things at five. Like my my son came home and he was like, I don&#39;t want, I want, I don&#39;t want the boy to win because one of you, he&#39;s gonna take one of you away from me. Oh, yeah. So that&#39;s his vision of Trump already, right? Right. Um, God, right? We are an atheist family, we don&#39;t go to church, but we have friends and family who go to church. And so defining it without being like him going, well, why aren&#39;t we believing that? Gavin: 10:22 Or maybe that&#39;s what I want to elicit. David: 10:24 I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 10:24 Uh for my unsolicited advice that you&#39;re seeking here right now is the advice that I do not follow. My my partner It&#39;s the best advice, right? My partner is constantly saying to me, Gavin, stop talking to them like it&#39;s a college lecture. Bring it down to their level. David: 10:43 How many of our listener are shaking their heads right now? Gavin: 10:46 How many of our listeners simplifying and making it short? Which is hilarious. I am I know I know, I know. It is not my greatest um talent to simplify and keep it short, but simplify and keep it short and keep their facts. Actually, I actually actually I did get advice from a teacher the other day who said ask them first what their opinion is or what they know and riff on that. David: 11:17 Totally. That that&#39;s really that&#39;s actually good advice. Um did you see how I kept it simple and short? You didn&#39;t, though. When you were describing how you don&#39;t keep it simple, that was the longest thing I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire fucking life. Anyway, so I&#39;m I I know these things are coming, especially as our government starts to collapse and we start to wear our red hoods. Right. It&#39;s I I&#39;m gonna have to start defining these hard things, but you&#39;re right. Start keeping it super simple, but also asking him what he knows and then expanding on that. Gavin: 11:44 There is our dad hack of the week. Talking to have one and it was great. I know. Talking about tough topics with your kids first, ask them what they know and what they believe. David: 11:53 There you go. So, one of the last things I want to talk about before we move on to our little bits is, and this I don&#39;t know why. I don&#39;t know why, but I think about this more than anything as a parent. I think about friends of mine or people who are friends with non-parents and that relationship, the relationship you have with your existing friends, and then one of you becomes a parent and how that works. And so I was like, well, how can I help people? And I was like, okay, I&#39;m gonna give my advice and gave in you two to people who are friends with parents but who are not parents because they don&#39;t want to be, right? Not because they haven&#39;t been parents yet. Right. And because I think there&#39;s a lot of misconceptions by the childless people about childed people. So one of the things I want to suggest is as a friend of a person who has kids, always assume they can do the thing you want them to do, even though it may not happen, even though, oh, that&#39;s during school hours, even though, oh, on the weekends are hard for them. Ask us anyway. Ask us to the play, ask us to lunch, and let us say, so sorry, the kids or whatever. Because we are so desperate for adult interaction. And don&#39;t give up. Don&#39;t give up on us. Don&#39;t give up on us because we would rather fight to move things around to make it work and see you. Don&#39;t try to like take that burden on yourself. Okay. Uh the other thing is don&#39;t fake a relationship with our kids that you is not earnest. And I mean, like, if you don&#39;t really spend much time with them, like say hi, hi five them, ask them how day their day was, but don&#39;t like pretend that you need to have this deep conversation. We we don&#39;t need that. Like, I don&#39;t need that. Gavin: 13:30 And the kids don&#39;t care. David: 13:31 The kids don&#39;t care. You&#39;re you don&#39;t have to be as close with my kids as you are with me to maintain a relationship with me. And I think that is a I could understand how you could be confused about that. Um, maybe some people will disagree. I don&#39;t know. Uh email us. Um the other thing, you being childless is a good thing, and we do not judge you about that. I often hear from my childless friends like, well, you know, we would have had kids, but like they&#39;re trying to be defensive as if I think having kids is better than not having kids. Ask...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kharma comes full circle and he is the old one, Gavin is making theatre kids, we educate the childless about how to be good friends to the childed, we rank the top 3 relaxing things, and this week we are joined by comedian, actress, voice actor and all around nut Candi Milo who dives deep into her strange childhood, her incredible career, and why you can always catch her eating a footlong in the Valley. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what&#39;s in it&#39;s a little bit we both got it. Uh our top three of wait oh fuck. You were doing so good too. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 So my son was sitting in my lap. He was looking at me, and it was one of those like really sweet moments. He was like playing with my beard. And he was just touching it, and he was like, What is this right here? And he puts this little area of hair, I don&#39;t know if you can see, underneath my neck, which is turning a little gray. It was black. I have weird patchy facial hair. I have like red and blonde and black and brown. Gavin: 0:52 I can see it through the camera right now. I look like it is screaming. It&#39;s like an ad campaign coming through Zoom for uh just for men. Yeah, dying your beard. David: 1:04 It&#39;s basically red and blonde, but then I had this black circle for what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 1:08 All I can see is the gray. David: 1:09 All I can see is the gray. You know what? Shut the fuck up. So this black part has started to go a little bit gray. And so he touched it and he goes, What is this? And I said, Oh, my hair is getting a little gray. And he goes, he started to tear up. I said, What&#39;s wrong? He goes, I don&#39;t want you to get old and die. Gavin: 1:26 And I was like, like my soul, which I already has. David: 1:31 First of all, this is my first gray hair I&#39;ve ever had, and I&#39;m 45. So I should be congratulated. Second of all, I&#39;m not gonna die now. So he thinks I&#39;m old and gonna die. Well, so that&#39;s how I started my week. Gavin: 1:43 That&#39;s the rest of your life as a parent, also is just you&#39;re about to die because you&#39;re so old. Yes. Speaking of things that need to die, defying gravity. Are you are you? I mean, did wicked take over your household like it has taken over mine? Kids of different ages, I realize it might not have touched you. David: 2:05 It it it it it it didn&#39;t with my kids because they&#39;re too young, but we we are two homosexuals who enjoy Broadway. So of course we&#39;re there the first weekend for sure. Gavin: 2:13 Well, it has definitely stayed real strong in our household, obviously, because I have a daughter who who doesn&#39;t realize how much she sings, and it should be a wonderful thing that we always celebrate, but David, she never shuts up. David: 2:27 She could Where does she get that from? Gavin: 2:30 She never stops singing, ever stops singing. And the thing is, she&#39;s a tremendous singer, so obviously we want to encourage it, but no, we don&#39;t. Like the you need to you need to take a break or go channel it somewhere. But of course, as I&#39;ve already established, she&#39;s too good for theater. So that&#39;s why she hasn&#39;t auditioned for anything ever. Not that disclaimer, not that we want her to pursue the arts because obviously she needs to be a doctor or an attorney. Anyway, you know, we&#39;ve been pushing her because we say you are such a talented kid. You love to dance. I mean, just TikTok dancing. She&#39;s never taken a lesson in her life because she doesn&#39;t want to be like us, right? She never stops singing, etc. And um, so um she recently her school is on a system where she takes her unified arts. You&#39;ll learn about this later. Her UA classes kind of um switch a lot during the year. So for three months she&#39;ll be doing one class, and for two months she&#39;ll do ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s kharma comes full circle and he is the old one, Gavin is making theatre kids, we educate the childless about how to be good friends to the childed, we rank the top 3 relaxing things, and this week we are joined by comedian, actress, voice actor and all around nut Candi Milo who dives deep into her strange childhood, her incredible career, and why you can always catch her eating a footlong in the Valley. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 You know what&#39;s in it&#39;s a little bit we both got it. Uh our top three of wait oh fuck. You were doing so good too. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 So my son was sitting in my lap. He was looking at me, and it was one of those like really sweet moments. He was like playing with my beard. And he was just touching it, and he was like, What is this right here? And he puts this little area of hair, I ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with founder of Men Having Babies, Ron Poole-Dayan</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-founder-of-men-having-babies-ron-poole-dayan/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Dec 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David went to the ER, Gavin has mouthy teens, we rank the top 3 ways you owe your parents an apology, Gavin has an actual good hack for the first time in 88 episodes, and this week we are joined by the founder and chairman of Men Having Babies Ron Poole-Dayan, who chats with us about why he started it, how the political arm of the organization is growing, and why carrying your screaming kids out of a Barnes and Noble is a parenting rite of passage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of your welcome, you know what else is full of gratitude? SPEAKER_00: 0:09 That was perfect. It was perfect. Was it? This is Gate Yorks. David: 0:29 So obviously this past weekend, where was I? At a child&#39;s birthday. Outside of every motherfucking weekend. Gavin: 0:38 You know what? It does, for once, David, it does get better. Just you wait, it will get better. I remember those days every, every single weekend. Now I can&#39;t even remember. It&#39;s been a decade now. It&#39;s been two decades since I was at a child&#39;s birthday party. So I know. David: 0:53 It&#39;s Franzi a brain. You can&#39;t remember much. So I&#39;m at this party, and it is a gymnastics party, and both of my kids are there, and my husband is there. So all the kids, they&#39;re they&#39;re doing gymnastics with the trainers. My husband&#39;s out there with them, and I&#39;m just obviously hovering the snack tray. And I was like, man, my back hurts. And I kind of have a bad back, but not really that bad. And my back&#39;s hurting. I was like, ah, God, it&#39;s really hurting. Did I pull something? And then it&#39;s getting worse and worse. And so I&#39;m like, maybe I have to poop? Like, I just like, what is going on? So I go to the toilet and I&#39;m sitting on the toilet and I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna throw up. Gavin: 1:26 Wow, we are going to places that places that Gadriarks has never probed. Anyway, please. David: 1:31 Um, and so I&#39;m I&#39;m just like, I feel horrible. So I leave the bathroom and I&#39;m feeling terrible. And of course, that&#39;s when I get uh cornered by the chatty dad who&#39;s like, hey, what&#39;s going on? Blah, blah, blah. And all I&#39;m thinking of is, I&#39;m gonna puke on you. Like, I am in such pain. And I&#39;m like, I have to go to the doctor. Like, I&#39;m I&#39;m in such pain. So I go to like walk into the gym to tell Brian, my husband, that we need to go. And I&#39;m like, oh no, I&#39;m gonna throw up now. So I run to my car, I get in my car, I start throwing up in a trash bag. I text him, I&#39;m like, we have to go now. And he&#39;s like, okay, so he grabs the kids, he comes to the car, he&#39;s like, What&#39;s going on? I was like, I don&#39;t know. My back hurts. I&#39;m throwing up, I don&#39;t know what to do. So we drive home, I&#39;m throwing up the whole way. My kids are terrified because they&#39;re wise. Gavin: 2:14 They&#39;re going to start a podcast someday about that time that their dad was barfing in the car all the way from the gymnastics party. David: 2:22 And so I we dropped the kids off. Luckily, my mother-in-law was there, so she could she could take care of the kids. And my husband gets in the car. He&#39;s like, So maybe like walk in clinic, like, where do you want to go? And I was like, You&#39;re taking me to the ER. I was at that level of I didn&#39;t know what was going on. I was like, did my appendix burst? Yeah, what&#39;s going on? Gavin: 2:39 That&#39;s what I was thinking. David: 2:40 So I get to this, I get to the ER. First of all, I haven&#39;t been to the ER as a patient. I&#39;m not sure ever. I and we don&#39;t live in a bad area, but they&#39;re like, I have to go through security to get into the ER. I&#39;m throwing up in a Walmart bag, and this guy is wanding me, asking for my keys. Gavin: 2:58 What if you had chopped a leg off or something and they&#39;re still gonna wand you? I wow. David: 3:02 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. They&#39;re not, you&#39;re gonna have to go through the scanner again. Gavin: 3:06 And so please put your leg, please put your leg on the scanner at the end. On the table. Looks like there&#39;s keys in the pocket. Anyway, I&#39;m sorry. I know that I&#39;m absolutely hijacking you. Just let me tell the story, please. David: 3:20 And so I get there and they&#39;re triaging me, and they are they are as casual as if I&#39;m just checking out at the grocery store. They&#39;re like, oh hey, yeah, we&#39;ll get to you when we get to it. I am, Gavin, when I tell you, I&#39;m violently throwing. I am, I am, I am like filling bags and then handing them to my husband who&#39;s getting the new bag. And I&#39;m in such pain that I&#39;m like, I look like a you know how in the first season of Walking Dead, like a new zombie would just be like lurching? Yeah. That was me. Long story short, they get me in and the doctor is like, what&#39;s going on? I was like, my back is killing me, and I can&#39;t stop throwing up. He&#39;s like, it&#39;s probably kidney stones. Here, take this, take this, take this. They they get me an IV, they get me all of this, um, all the drugs, and all of a sudden I&#39;m feeling fantastic. They put me all the drugs and I do a CT scan. I had kidney stones. What? Which I is one of those things where I feel like you hear it, you&#39;re like, oh, that&#39;s what old people in the 50s used to have. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, I&#39;m an old one. Or just Gavin. Or just Gavin. So just Gavin. Gavin: 4:20 So fuck you in all of your Gavins, the old guy here. Cause because listen, first of all, two things you will never hear me talking about on this podcast. Me pooping, never. Never, ever am I gonna tell you anything like that. I am fundamentally against it. And two, I don&#39;t have kidney stones. So Gavin, Gavin doesn&#39;t poop, he has it removed. David: 4:40 Um, so I I I I uh first of all, for all the women out there who&#39;s listening who have given birth, I in no way would ever equate this to giving birth, is it got to be the most incredible and the most painful thing that&#39;s ever happened. No doubt. But I did read online that they were like, this is on par with giving birth to pain. It was, I can&#39;t even describe it to you, other than it felt like there was a baseball in my back that was on fire and it was shooting lasers out. And so I, at 45, had a kidney stone. And so now in my brain, because it&#39;s it&#39;s this ER and nobody really tells you anything, and they just kind of send me home. And I&#39;m imagining, oh my God, at some point in the next week, gravel is gonna come out of my dick. Yeah. I&#39;m going to shoot rocks across like it&#39;s fucking contra on Nintendo. Right. And I was terrified. And then long story short, I learned I had to go to the urologist, and he was like, no, a lot. It&#39;s super painful, but like once it goes into the bladder, it could be as small as a grain of sand. You probably won&#39;t even notice it when it comes out. Really? Gavin: 5:42 But I thought the whole point was that it was as small as a grain of sand and it was excruciating. David: 5:46 It is when it leaves the kidney and goes into the bladder. But once it&#39;s in the bladder, it doesn&#39;t hurt anymore. But they say they can get as big as a kernel of fucking corn. Oh, yeah. So then they gotta like go up into your ureter and like squeeze it out. Oh, geez. So but the the the reason I bring it up is because I like talking about disgusting things. But also, what was so weird was the car ride home to drop my kids off. I&#39;m having to like craft what they&#39;re experiencing because I don&#39;t want to scare them, right? My my my son is like, what&#39;s going on? Is dad gonna be okay? And I I had to tell him, I was like, Dad&#39;s gonna throw up a couple times. He&#39;s just not feeling well, we&#39;re gonna go to the doctor just like you do. And I remember when he was walking to the house, he kept turning back and looking at me like with such concern on his face. And so I did like a goofy wave and I like jumped up and down. And you pooped a little bit. And I pooped a little bit, but I was literally like, if I die, because I was at that level, I was like, I&#39;m gonna die. I need to make sure his last memory of me is a positive one. It was it was crazy. Wow. And so, yeah, so you know what? If Gavin is not gonna tell poop stories, I&#39;m gonna tell all the poop stories to balance it out. I&#39;m that&#39;s fine. That&#39;s I&#39;m I didn&#39;t poop, it had nothing to do with pooping. Yeah. To be anyway, that was my weekend. Gavin: 6:59 Uh that uh uh you know what? Randomly, there was a moment this week where my son, you know, I&#39;ve I&#39;ve said many times, and many, probably multiple something greats at the end of episodes because I forget what I&#39;ve said, that my son is so reflexively an I love you kid, and it&#39;s just so fantastic. And there was a reflexive I love you this week. We might have even been like, we might have been arguing about something, but then still he was like, Okay, I love you, and which was great. And I thought to myself, what if that was the last time? Like maybe it was meant to be that he said that is this the last time he&#39;s gonna see me. Well, thank goodness the last thing he did hear me say was, I love you too, uh, kind of along those lines. But I&#39;ve never been so morbid as to think this is the last view he&#39;s ever gonna have of me. David: 7:39 But wow, that&#39;s um I was there, I was literally there. I was in that amount of pain at that moment. Also, at that moment, I was like, I don&#39;t know what&#39;s wrong with me. If I had known it was Kitty Stones, I wouldn&#39;t think I was dying. Yeah, but I was like, oh, I might have ruptured something, one of those things that when they rupture, you die immediately of substance. I oh god, it was it was it was not good. Gavin: 7:59 That is a lot. That&#39;s a lot. Yeah, that&#39;s a lot. So um I had a moment uh this week uh dealing with a mouthy teen, and I don&#39;t mind saying this out, putting this out there in the world. And if she listens to it, well, guess what? You affected me that badly. We were driving, we had done a road trip with some friends, and she&#39;s in the back of the car, and she we had had a very, very That reminds me of a time where actually it it when I was That was terrible. You nice try, nice try. Okay. I&#39;m okay with it, I can go back and forth. So we had done a service project, actually. We can talk about that another time, but we had done a pop-up soup kitchen and we were coming back from a very, very long day with some friends, and she planned that she was gonna have a sleepover that night because my daughter is nothing if not obsessed with sleepovers. You will see someday. And I&#39;m like, what is the point of them? Except I suppose I wanted I always wanted to have sleepovers with did you like sleepovers as a kid? David: 8:49 Yeah, I loved it, it was so fun. It felt like such an adventure, and you always stay up late, and yeah, yeah. Gavin: 8:54 Yeah, well, she is obsessed with it, and she wanted to have a sleepover that night, but I&#39;m like, no, no, you never cleared this with me, blah, blah, blah. So she&#39;s in the car, and when you you know how when one person can destroy the atmosphere of a room, and you think, wow, you just did that every Wednesday, Gavin. David: 9:12 Every Wednesday. Gavin: 9:15 So she turned, she was Elsa and turned the entire car ice cold because she was so angry with me. I&#39;m impressed that she wasn&#39;t cussing at me. And I don&#39;t know if it was because she thought she could that I would cave because I was in public, but I mean, she it was just a relentless game of I am you are ruining my weekend, you are ruining my night, you are ruining it for my friends, you&#39;re ruining my friendships, you are ruining this. And it was so awful. It was a terrible, terrible 10 minutes in this car where she was just relentless. My son was there with his friend, and my my son&#39;s friend goes, Wow, she&#39;s like a lot. And my son goes, Yep, it&#39;s like this all the time. And I&#39;m like, ooh, thank you for for shade and a little read in public. But I will say, um, I it was a parenting win for me because uh there were three girls and two boys in the car and this other mom. And I turned it into a hey, y&#39;all, who has the worst parent in the room in this car? And of course, Ellis uh my daughter shot her hand up and said, I do. And I was like, well, besides you, of course. And um, all of mainly all of the other kids were like, Yeah, my parents aren&#39;t so bad. My parents aren&#39;t so bad. But there was one other girl who said, No, my mom&#39;s the worst. My mom&#39;s the worst. And so we had this actually kind of lighthearted conversation about how who&#39;s the worst parent and who has the worst parent. And it actually turned into a fairly funny moment. And um anyway, uh, this is not ending on a funny note, except to just say it was really rough. I know. It was a rough, rough conversation. Uh, rough, rough. But it does lead me then to um have a have something that we haven&#39;t done in a while. What would you do? What would you do? Speaking of Mouthe Teens, because then another night that week, we uh were at a get together with some friends, and um my my daughter didn&#39;t want to end the night too soon. My partner went up to her and said, Okay, so we&#39;re gonna go in about 10 minutes, and she said, No, I&#39;m not, and just like declaratively, no, I&#39;m not. Said, I&#39;m not gonna do that, I&#39;m not gonna do that, and was arguing with him and then accused him of being drunk and storming away. So, my what would you do is what do you do when your kid accuses you in public of being drunk and storming away? And by the way, it doesn&#39;t matter whether or not you actually were drunk, it&#39;s just what do you do when your kid accuses you of being drunk and storming away? David: 12:04 It it is such fucking clever, like diabolicalness because I was just thinking, have you ever seen the people who will be like, hey, will you film me? Like in the grocery store, they&#39;re like, they&#39;ll say to their husband, like, will you film me? I want to do like a TikTok. And so they&#39;re filming him. And the woman turns around, she goes, Why are you filming me, sir? Stop it, leave me alone. It&#39;s such great. Yeah, I I I I would applaud the effort because calling you drunk is really that&#39;s that&#39;s such that&#39;s such shade. I fucking love it, but also it would infuriate me that like you use that to to to try to win this conversation publicly. Um I don&#39;t know. I I am not prepared. Gavin, the stories that you tell about your teens, I&#39;m not ready for it. I can&#39;t, I I I I I am okay with temper tantrums and diapers. I I don&#39;t know if I could deal with this like strategy. Like it&#39;s too much. I don&#39;t know. What would you do? Gavin: 13:00 I don&#39;t know. And well, the things in public also, where you&#39;re kind of like, well, I don&#39;t want to look like I mean I I don&#39;t want to have CPS called on me in public, but there are times when things get so extreme with a teenager, you&#39;re like, you know what? I&#39;m gonna walk away from this situation, even though it is the height of disrespect. And so uh my partner did walk away from it, and then she lost her phone for two days, and she regretted that for sure. David: 13:25 I gotta...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David went to the ER, Gavin has mouthy teens, we rank the top 3 ways you owe your parents an apology, Gavin has an actual good hack for the first time in 88 episodes, and this week we are joined by the founder and chairman of Men Having Babies]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David went to the ER, Gavin has mouthy teens, we rank the top 3 ways you owe your parents an apology, Gavin has an actual good hack for the first time in 88 episodes, and this week we are joined by the founder and chairman of Men Having Babies Ron Poole-Dayan, who chats with us about why he started it, how the political arm of the organization is growing, and why carrying your screaming kids out of a Barnes and Noble is a parenting rite of passage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of your welcome, you know what else is full of gratitude? SPEAKER_00: 0:09 That was perfect. It was perfect. Was it? This is Gate Yorks. David: 0:29 So obviously this past weekend, where was I? At a child&#39;s birthday. Outside of every motherfucking weekend. Gavin: 0:38 You know what? It does, for once, David, it does get better. Just you wait, it will get better. I remember those days every, every single weekend. Now I can&#39;t even remember. It&#39;s been a decade now. It&#39;s been two decades since I was at a child&#39;s birthday party. So I know. David: 0:53 It&#39;s Franzi a brain. You can&#39;t remember much. So I&#39;m at this party, and it is a gymnastics party, and both of my kids are there, and my husband is there. So all the kids, they&#39;re they&#39;re doing gymnastics with the trainers. My husband&#39;s out there with them, and I&#39;m just obviously hovering the snack tray. And I was like, man, my back hurts. And I kind of have a bad back, but not really that bad. And my back&#39;s hurting. I was like, ah, God, it&#39;s really hurting. Did I pull something? And then it&#39;s getting worse and worse. And so I&#39;m like, maybe I have to poop? Like, I just like, what is going on? So I go to the toilet and I&#39;m sitting on the toilet and I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna throw up. Gavin: 1:26 Wow, we are going to places that places that Gadriarks has never probed. Anyway, please. David: 1:31 Um, and so I&#39;m I&#39;m just like, I feel horrible. So I leave the bathroom and I&#39;m feeling terrible. And of course, that&#39;s when I get uh cornered by the chatty dad who&#39;s like, hey, what&#39;s going on? Blah, blah, blah. And all I&#39;m thinking of is, I&#39;m gonna puke on you. Like, I am in such pain. And I&#39;m like, I have to go to the doctor. Like, I&#39;m I&#39;m in such pain. So I go to like walk into the gym to tell Brian, my husband, that we need to go. And I&#39;m like, oh no, I&#39;m gonna throw up now. So I run to my car, I get in my car, I start throwing up in a trash bag. I text him, I&#39;m like, we have to go now. And he&#39;s like, okay, so he grabs the kids, he comes to the car, he&#39;s like, What&#39;s going on? I was like, I don&#39;t know. My back hurts. I&#39;m throwing up, I don&#39;t know what to do. So we drive home, I&#39;m throwing up the whole way. My kids are terrified because they&#39;re wise. Gavin: 2:14 They&#39;re going to start a podcast someday about that time that their dad was barfing in the car all the way from the gymnastics party. David: 2:22 And so I we dropped the kids off. Luckily, my mother-in-law was there, so she could she could take care of the kids. And my husband gets in the car. He&#39;s like, So maybe like walk in clinic, like, where do you want to go? And I was like, You&#39;re taking me to the ER. I was at that level of I didn&#39;t know what was going on. I was like, did my appendix burst? Yeah, what&#39;s going on? Gavin: 2:39 That&#39;s what I was thinking. David: 2:40 So I get to this, I get to the ER. First of all, I haven&#39;t been to the ER as a patient. I&#39;m not sure ever. I and we don&#39;t live in a bad area, but they&#39;re like, I have to go through security to get into the ER. I&#39;m throwing up in a Walmart bag, and this guy is wanding me, asking for my keys. Gavin: 2:58 What if you had chopped a leg off or something and they&#39;re still gonna wand you? I wow. David: 3:02 Yeah, I don&#39;t know. They&#39;re not, you&#39;re gonna have to go through the scanner again. Gavin: 3:06 And so please put your leg, please put your leg on the scanner at the end. On the table. Looks like there&#39;s keys in the pocket. Anyway, I&#39;m sorry. I know that I&#39;m absolutely hijacking you. Just let me tell the story, please. David: 3:20 And so I get there and they&#39;re triaging me, and they are they are as casual as if I&#39;m just checking out at the grocery store. They&#39;re like, oh hey, yeah, we&#39;ll get to you when we get to it. I am, Gavin, when I tell you, I&#39;m violently throwing. I am, I am, I am like filling bags and then handing them to my husband who&#39;s getting the new bag. And I&#39;m in such pain that I&#39;m like, I look like a you know how in the first season of Walking Dead, like a new zombie would just be like lurching? Yeah. That was me. Long story short, they get me in and the doctor is like, what&#39;s going on? I was like, my back is killing me, and I can&#39;t stop throwing up. He&#39;s like, it&#39;s probably kidney stones. Here, take this, take this, take this. They they get me an IV, they get me all of this, um, all the drugs, and all of a sudden I&#39;m feeling fantastic. They put me all the drugs and I do a CT scan. I had kidney stones. What? Which I is one of those things where I feel like you hear it, you&#39;re like, oh, that&#39;s what old people in the 50s used to have. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, I&#39;m an old one. Or just Gavin. Or just Gavin. So just Gavin. Gavin: 4:20 So fuck you in all of your Gavins, the old guy here. Cause because listen, first of all, two things you will never hear me talking about on this podcast. Me pooping, never. Never, ever am I gonna tell you anything like that. I am fundamentally against it. And two, I don&#39;t have kidney stones. So Gavin, Gavin doesn&#39;t poop, he has it removed. David: 4:40 Um, so I I I I uh first of all, for all the women out there who&#39;s listening who have given birth, I in no way would ever equate this to giving birth, is it got to be the most incredible and the most painful thing that&#39;s ever happened. No doubt. But I did read online that they were like, this is on par with giving birth to pain. It was, I can&#39;t even describe it to you, other than it felt like there was a baseball in my back that was on fire and it was shooting lasers out. And so I, at 45, had a kidney stone. And so now in my brain, because it&#39;s it&#39;s this ER and nobody really tells you anything, and they just kind of send me home. And I&#39;m imagining, oh my God, at some point in the next week, gravel is gonna come out of my dick. Yeah. I&#39;m going to shoot rocks across like it&#39;s fucking contra on Nintendo. Right. And I was terrified. And then long story short, I learned I had to go to the urologist, and he was like, no, a lot. It&#39;s super painful, but like once it goes into the bladder, it could be as small as a grain of sand. You probably won&#39;t even notice it when it comes out. Really? Gavin: 5:42 But I thought the whole point was that it was as small as a grain of sand and it was excruciating. David: 5:46 It is when it leaves the kidney and goes into the bladder. But once it&#39;s in the bladder, it doesn&#39;t hurt anymore. But they say they can get as big as a kernel of fucking corn. Oh, yeah. So then they gotta like go up into your ureter and like squeeze it out. Oh, geez. So but the the the reason I bring it up is because I like talking about disgusting things. But also, what was so weird was the car ride home to drop my kids off. I&#39;m having to like craft what they&#39;re experiencing because I don&#39;t want to scare them, right? My my my son is like, what&#39;s going on? Is dad gonna be okay? And I I had to tell him, I was like, Dad&#39;s gonna throw up a couple times. He&#39;s just not feeling well, we&#39;re gonna go to the doctor just like you do. And I remember when he was walking to the house, he kept turning back and looking at me like with such concern on his face. And so I did like a goofy wave and I like jumped up and down. And you pooped a little bit. And I pooped a little bit, but I was literally like, if I die, because I was at that level, I was like, I&#39;m gonna die. I need to make sure his last memory of me is a positive one. It was it was crazy. Wow. And so, yeah, so you know what? If Gavin is not gonna tell poop stories, I&#39;m gonna tell all the poop stories to balance it out. I&#39;m that&#39;s fine. That&#39;s I&#39;m I didn&#39;t poop, it had nothing to do with pooping. Yeah. To be anyway, that was my weekend. Gavin: 6:59 Uh that uh uh you know what? Randomly, there was a moment this week where my son, you know, I&#39;ve I&#39;ve said many times, and many, probably multiple something greats at the end of episodes because I forget what I&#39;ve said, that my son is so reflexively an I love you kid, and it&#39;s just so fantastic. And there was a reflexive I love you this week. We might have even been like, we might have been arguing about something, but then still he was like, Okay, I love you, and which was great. And I thought to myself, what if that was the last time? Like maybe it was meant to be that he said that is this the last time he&#39;s gonna see me. Well, thank goodness the last thing he did hear me say was, I love you too, uh, kind of along those lines. But I&#39;ve never been so morbid as to think this is the last view he&#39;s ever gonna have of me. David: 7:39 But wow, that&#39;s um I was there, I was literally there. I was in that amount of pain at that moment. Also, at that moment, I was like, I don&#39;t know what&#39;s wrong with me. If I had known it was Kitty Stones, I wouldn&#39;t think I was dying. Yeah, but I was like, oh, I might have ruptured something, one of those things that when they rupture, you die immediately of substance. I oh god, it was it was it was not good. Gavin: 7:59 That is a lot. That&#39;s a lot. Yeah, that&#39;s a lot. So um I had a moment uh this week uh dealing with a mouthy teen, and I don&#39;t mind saying this out, putting this out there in the world. And if she listens to it, well, guess what? You affected me that badly. We were driving, we had done a road trip with some friends, and she&#39;s in the back of the car, and she we had had a very, very That reminds me of a time where actually it it when I was That was terrible. You nice try, nice try. Okay. I&#39;m okay with it, I can go back and forth. So we had done a service project, actually. We can talk about that another time, but we had done a pop-up soup kitchen and we were coming back from a very, very long day with some friends, and she planned that she was gonna have a sleepover that night because my daughter is nothing if not obsessed with sleepovers. You will see someday. And I&#39;m like, what is the point of them? Except I suppose I wanted I always wanted to have sleepovers with did you like sleepovers as a kid? David: 8:49 Yeah, I loved it, it was so fun. It felt like such an adventure, and you always stay up late, and yeah, yeah. Gavin: 8:54 Yeah, well, she is obsessed with it, and she wanted to have a sleepover that night, but I&#39;m like, no, no, you never cleared this with me, blah, blah, blah. So she&#39;s in the car, and when you you know how when one person can destroy the atmosphere of a room, and you think, wow, you just did that every Wednesday, Gavin. David: 9:12 Every Wednesday. Gavin: 9:15 So she turned, she was Elsa and turned the entire car ice cold because she was so angry with me. I&#39;m impressed that she wasn&#39;t cussing at me. And I don&#39;t know if it was because she thought she could that I would cave because I was in public, but I mean, she it was just a relentless game of I am you are ruining my weekend, you are ruining my night, you are ruining it for my friends, you&#39;re ruining my friendships, you are ruining this. And it was so awful. It was a terrible, terrible 10 minutes in this car where she was just relentless. My son was there with his friend, and my my son&#39;s friend goes, Wow, she&#39;s like a lot. And my son goes, Yep, it&#39;s like this all the time. And I&#39;m like, ooh, thank you for for shade and a little read in public. But I will say, um, I it was a parenting win for me because uh there were three girls and two boys in the car and this other mom. And I turned it into a hey, y&#39;all, who has the worst parent in the room in this car? And of course, Ellis uh my daughter shot her hand up and said, I do. And I was like, well, besides you, of course. And um, all of mainly all of the other kids were like, Yeah, my parents aren&#39;t so bad. My parents aren&#39;t so bad. But there was one other girl who said, No, my mom&#39;s the worst. My mom&#39;s the worst. And so we had this actually kind of lighthearted conversation about how who&#39;s the worst parent and who has the worst parent. And it actually turned into a fairly funny moment. And um anyway, uh, this is not ending on a funny note, except to just say it was really rough. I know. It was a rough, rough conversation. Uh, rough, rough. But it does lead me then to um have a have something that we haven&#39;t done in a while. What would you do? What would you do? Speaking of Mouthe Teens, because then another night that week, we uh were at a get together with some friends, and um my my daughter didn&#39;t want to end the night too soon. My partner went up to her and said, Okay, so we&#39;re gonna go in about 10 minutes, and she said, No, I&#39;m not, and just like declaratively, no, I&#39;m not. Said, I&#39;m not gonna do that, I&#39;m not gonna do that, and was arguing with him and then accused him of being drunk and storming away. So, my what would you do is what do you do when your kid accuses you in public of being drunk and storming away? And by the way, it doesn&#39;t matter whether or not you actually were drunk, it&#39;s just what do you do when your kid accuses you of being drunk and storming away? David: 12:04 It it is such fucking clever, like diabolicalness because I was just thinking, have you ever seen the people who will be like, hey, will you film me? Like in the grocery store, they&#39;re like, they&#39;ll say to their husband, like, will you film me? I want to do like a TikTok. And so they&#39;re filming him. And the woman turns around, she goes, Why are you filming me, sir? Stop it, leave me alone. It&#39;s such great. Yeah, I I I I would applaud the effort because calling you drunk is really that&#39;s that&#39;s such that&#39;s such shade. I fucking love it, but also it would infuriate me that like you use that to to to try to win this conversation publicly. Um I don&#39;t know. I I am not prepared. Gavin, the stories that you tell about your teens, I&#39;m not ready for it. I can&#39;t, I I I I I am okay with temper tantrums and diapers. I I don&#39;t know if I could deal with this like strategy. Like it&#39;s too much. I don&#39;t know. What would you do? Gavin: 13:00 I don&#39;t know. And well, the things in public also, where you&#39;re kind of like, well, I don&#39;t want to look like I mean I I don&#39;t want to have CPS called on me in public, but there are times when things get so extreme with a teenager, you&#39;re like, you know what? I&#39;m gonna walk away from this situation, even though it is the height of disrespect. And so uh my partner did walk away from it, and then she lost her phone for two days, and she regretted that for sure. David: 13:25 I gotta...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David went to the ER, Gavin has mouthy teens, we rank the top 3 ways you owe your parents an apology, Gavin has an actual good hack for the first time in 88 episodes, and this week we are joined by the founder and chairman of Men Having Babies Ron Poole-Dayan, who chats with us about why he started it, how the political arm of the organization is growing, and why carrying your screaming kids out of a Barnes and Noble is a parenting rite of passage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of your welcome, you know what else is full of gratitude? SPEAKER_00: 0:09 That was perfect. It was perfect. Was it? This is Gate Yorks. David: 0:29 So obviously this past weekend, where was I? At a child&#39;s birthday. Outside of every motherfucking weekend. Gavin: 0:38 You know what? It does, for once, David, it does get better. Just you wait, it will get better. I remember those days every, every single weekend. Now I can&#39;t even remember. It&#39;s been a decade now. It&#39;s been two decades since I was at a child&#39;s birthday party. So I know. David: 0:53 It&#39;s Franzi a brain. You can&#39;t remember much. So I&#39;m at this party, and it is a gymnastics party, and both of my kids are there, and my husband is there. So all the kids, they&#39;re they&#39;re doing gymnastics with the trainers. My husband&#39;s out there with them, and I&#39;m just obviously hovering the snack tray. And I was like, man, my back hurts. And I kind of have a bad back, but not really that bad. And my back&#39;s hurting. I was like, ah, God, it&#39;s really hurting. Did I pull something? And then it&#39;s getting worse and worse. And so I&#39;m like, maybe I have to poop? Like, I just like, what is going on? So I go to the toilet and I&#39;m sitting on the toilet and I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna throw up. Gavin: 1:26 Wow, we are going to places that places that Gadriarks has never probed. Anyway, please. David: 1:31 Um, and so I&#39;m I&#39;m just like, I feel horrible. So I leave the bathroom and I&#39;m feeling terrible. And of course, that&#39;s when I get uh cornered by the chatty dad who&#39;s like, hey, what&#39;s going on? Blah, blah, blah. And all I&#39;m thinking of is, I&#39;m gonna puke on you. Like, I am in such pain. And I&#39;m like, I have to go to the doctor. Like, I&#39;m I&#39;m in such pain. So I go to like walk into the gym to tell Brian, my husband, that we need to go. And I&#39;m like, oh no, I&#39;m gonna throw up now. So I run to my car, I get in my car, I start throwing up in a trash bag. I text him, I&#39;m like, we have to go now. And he&#39;s like, okay, so he grabs the kids, he comes to the car, he&#39;s like, What&#39;s going on? I was like, I don&#39;t know. My back hurts. I&#39;m throwing up, I don&#39;t know what to do. So we drive home, I&#39;m throwing up the whole way. My kids are terrified because they&#39;re wise. Gavin: 2:14 They&#39;re going to start a podcast someday about that time that their dad was barfing in the car all the way from the gymnastics party. David: 2:22 And so I we dropped the kids off. Luckily, my mother-in-law was there, so she could she could take care of the kids. And my husband gets in the car. He&#39;s like, So maybe like walk in clinic, like, where do you want to go? And I was like, You&#39;re taking me to the ER. I was at that level of I didn&#39;t know what was going on. I was like, did my appendix burst? Yeah, what&#39;s going on? Gavin: 2:39 That&#39;s what I was thinking. David: 2:40 So I get to this, I get to the ER. First of all, I haven&#39;t been to the ER as a patient. I&#39;m not sure ever. I and we don&#39;t live in a bad area, but they&#39;re like, I have to go through security to get into the ER. I&#39;m throwing up in a Walmart bag, and this guy is wanding me, asking for my keys. Gavin: 2:58 What if you had chopped a leg off or something and ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David went to the ER, Gavin has mouthy teens, we rank the top 3 ways you owe your parents an apology, Gavin has an actual good hack for the first time in 88 episodes, and this week we are joined by the founder and chairman of Men Having Babies Ron Poole-Dayan, who chats with us about why he started it, how the political arm of the organization is growing, and why carrying your screaming kids out of a Barnes and Noble is a parenting rite of passage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of your welcome, you know what else is full of gratitude? SPEAKER_00: 0:09 That was perfect. It was perfect. Was it? This is Gate Yorks. David: 0:29 So obviously this past weekend, where was I? At a child&#39;s birthday. Outside of every motherfucking weekend. Gavin: 0:38 You know what? It does, for once, David, it does get better. Just you wait, it will get better. ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Avgi Saketopoulou &#038; Ann Pellegrini</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-avgi-saketopoulou-ann-pellegrini/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 20 Nov 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-16054285</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s Thanksgiving week, and Gavin is obviously giving thanks. We talk about new eras of parenting, we ask our listener to send us questions, Gavin is annoyed with grades, we rank the top 3 covers that are better than the original, and this week we are joined by two of the brightest and best (excpet for the moment they agreed to be on our stupid little podcast) Avgi Saketopoulou &#38; Ann Pellegrini,  authors of the new book &#34;Gender Without Identity,&#34; where we talk all things gender, raising kids to be their most authentic selves, why they think all gender is rooted in trauma, and somehow, some way, we make Ann even gayer than they already were. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Sh uh shall I keep going with that? Grades. Um or have we done enough? And I&#39;ll leave that for the next time. We&#39;re gonna do the thanks. That was kind of like the summing up. Let&#39;s go to Thanksgiving then. Okay. And I&#39;ll bring grades um to later because it feels like you re you wrapped up rants and um I&#39;m not funny and should be fired anyway. David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch. Yeah, that is gatriarchs. Okay, so you and I have talked endlessly about like these new eras of parenting and how when they come, it&#39;s not this huge big ceremony, it&#39;s these little moments that you look back and you&#39;re like, holy shit, that was the moment. So I had three this week. Gavin: 0:51 That&#39;s like that&#39;s like a third of Taylor Swift eras, I might add. That you are, I mean, when you think of eras, I mean it&#39;s dog years, right? Like toddlering eras are go maybe six months, but um you know Taylor Swift is uh an album every two years. And um, anyway, eras. Eras are all it&#39;s it&#39;s an era of eras. David: 1:12 Um but my because my kids are so young, I do feel really good. Shut up, Gavin. That way you jumped. I know. Do you not have a thing on the side of your computer? I have a thing on the side of my computer that says, don&#39;t say like so much and slow down. Yours should say, is it and stop talking? Um, but anyway, so I have young kids, so my eras happen so fast. Yes. And so here&#39;s some era things that happened this week. So, you know, the little plastic, it&#39;s it&#39;s a whale for us. Yeah, it&#39;s like the birthday. Yeah, I already know. Yes, the bathtub baby. Yeah. We were cleaning the bathtub and we were like, we don&#39;t have babies anymore. Do we need this? And we said no, and I took it off, and it was weird to throw away, even though the underside was covered in mold. Mold. unknown: 1:55 Covered in mold. David: 1:56 We have never cleaned it. Gavin: 1:57 Do you know how many times I open my kids&#39; water bottle? Not infrequently, I might add. And I look at the like the you know, the screw top and I&#39;m like, oh, there&#39;s definitely mold in that. But we&#39;re just I mean, I&#39;m I&#39;m boosting their immunity system, right? Yeah, absolutely. Their immune system. Um, I have those errors are so um indelible. I&#39;ll never forget the pictures that I took the time that I, in the middle of the night, went mission impossible dun dun dun with a bunch of uh stuffed animals, threw them in the trash and took a picture. And it was sad for four seconds and then I got over it. And it does seem like on another topic. I mean, throwing away stuffed animals seems so awful. There&#39;s got to be a way to recycle them or upcycle them or something. No, ultimately, nobody wants your cast off um stuffed animals. So throw them in the trash and enter a new era. David: 2:43 Anyway, I saw a TikTok of somebody pulling uh drywall down, and somebody had stuffed the wall cavity with um uh stuffed animals as insulation. Anyway, that&#39;s um yep, and so the thing that&#39;s yeah, the other thing that&#39;s happening this week for me is my two-year-old daughter, who I&#39;m so used to being able to do whatever I want in front of her because she never remembers anything and she can&#39;t really say anything, um, fucking called me out in front of my husband. And they were we were talking about her hair and you know, girls&#39; hair gets naughty and whatever. And yeah, and Hannah says to my husband, she goes, Um, you give me conditioner. Daddy doesn&#39;t condition my hair. And my stomach dropped, and I was like, I don&#39;t, because it&#39;s a step I can skip and go to bed earlier. And bitch just called me out. Bitch, just call you out. Um, so that was number two. And uh number three, um, uh, I my son went to go poop and he closed the door and usually asked me to sit in there with him, but this time he didn&#39;t. And for a while I was like, what is going on? He&#39;s in there forever. So then I open the door, unannounced, I don&#39;t knock, I just open the door, and there&#39;s my son with his little play um digital camera taking a photo of his junk. The second I walk in, I hear ch and I&#39;m like, and he looks at me, I&#39;m like, Emma, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, I wanted to take a picture of it. And I was like, we can&#39;t do that. And so then I grab the the camera and I start going through it. And it&#39;s just shot after shot of a five-year-old&#39;s dick dick pics. Just dick pics. And I was like, I said to my husband, I was like, we have to burn this. People are gonna think we&#39;re taking dick pics of our children. Absolutely. So um, and then a last little bonus thing is that I have officially, you know, my kids have their little tablets, and there&#39;s some games that I don&#39;t even bother to learn or watch because they&#39;re just stupid princess games or whatever. And now, when my daughter wants to play one, she&#39;ll go, I don&#39;t know how to do this. I don&#39;t. I now just say, go just ask your brother. And I have officially passed the torch of knowing things to him, and he now knows how things go. So these are the changes happening in our household, and they&#39;re they&#39;re small, but they are mighty. Gavin: 4:47 Small but mighty. And yeah, those eras, man, they are they are a real thing. I definitely do the ask my son to do the technology right now. I got a phone, new phone recently. I haven&#39;t I have the brand new iPhone, but that&#39;s because I came from a 12 mini. That was people people. That&#39;s what this is. 12 mini. You still have a 12 mini? And I&#39;m like, yeah, and it should last another three years. But I&#39;ve dropped it so many times. It&#39;s it it was time. David: 5:14 Anyway, but I literally, I literally handed my 12 mini yesterday uh for the Halloween parade. I know we&#39;re recording a little uh out of order, but uh for the Halloween parade, and she she looked at it and she wasn&#39;t sure what to do. I said, It&#39;s a 12 mini, relax. She was like, it&#39;s just it&#39;s just so small, I didn&#39;t know what to do with it. I was like, shut the fuck up. Gavin: 5:31 Well, anyway, I&#39;m definitely in serious teen era right now, too. And it just feels, of course, everything everything feels endless and more epic and this, that, and the other. But we um, I think last time I mentioned how I was holding a grudge about something that my daughter had so easily moved on from. And um, and I I definitely like I didn&#39;t come from an Italian family or I mean, we are so waspy growing up in the Midwest where we don&#39;t tend to talk things through very much. We just, I don&#39;t know, uh, scream and repress, right? But but now um there&#39;s definitely a cultural shift between my partner and I, who he is very Connecticut, and I&#39;m apparently I talk things through more, and he definitely holds on to grudges, and I&#39;m able to kind of like explode about things and move on and forget about it. Well, my daughter&#39;s even better at that. Luckily, she really is able to move on from stuff, and that it&#39;s always a it&#39;s kind of a shock to me that she is able to, because we seem to have some kind of crisis coming together, and I&#39;m still hurt by it, and she&#39;s not. Well, I happen to see on Instagram recently a psychologist talking about how teens are kind of live in dog hours, let&#39;s say. Like an hour for me is seven hours for my teen, and she um is able to get over things much easier than I am. And I&#39;m like, who is the child here? But it has given me a little bit of perspective that we are in an era of my daughter living in um uh dog hours, and um that I, of course, once again, as always, am the child in this relationship. Also, I&#39;m the child in this um podcast, not actually thinking of anything funny to say, but it was a learning experience that we are here to inform also. Don&#39;t hold a grudge and your kid has gotten over it before you have, don&#39;t be the child. David: 7:12 Just put it on the side of your computer, Gaben. Just say, end the story now. And is it funny? But also, you called your daughter a dog, basically. So I just want to put that out there. Thank you for making it funny. Yes. Um, so uh we have been, I am so backed up on saying this, and I apologize to our listener, but we&#39;ve gotten so many very sweet DMs and emails and messages from you all throughout the months that I just haven&#39;t gotten to. And I I fully apologize, but it reminded me that you, our listener, does reach out. You guys do reach out and send us stuff. You guys very much appreciate it. You guys do reach out, thank you. And I very much appreciate it. So I wanted to kind of open the floor to everyone out there. I know we have only one listener, but I would love to do a mailbag episode. And by mail, we mean your ballzack. No, but I I I, you know, I listen to a lot of other podcasts that often will do a mailbag episode of questions you have or things you want us to talk about or whatever. So I&#39;m kind of putting that out to there to you, listener. If you have any questions or you want us to talk about something specific, or you want us just to us to say something stupid or to gave in to tell a long story that has no point, just tell us. Send us an email at Gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com or DM us. Um, two messages I want to bring up. Ben, I&#39;m just gonna use your first names. Ben having a new baby, new listener. Congrats, Ben! And very excited for Ben. And also, Liam sent us a really funny story. Um, we he was particularly moved by my sister-in-law telling people, oh no, I&#39;m pregnant with my brother&#39;s child and making it awkward. Right. Um, and he was telling uh a similar story about uh his husband buying a car and asking the salesman um if he could store dead bodies in the trunk and the guy being really weird because he guess transports dead animals sometimes, but he wanted to make it awkward and very much appreciated that. We love a good awkward uh situation like that for sure. Please send us more awkward stories, but really send us questions so we can do a uh a ball bag episode. So, with that, it is also November 20th, and it is about to be Thanksgiving next week. Oh, Lee Moli, favorite time of the year. Everybody does Thanksgiving differently. Uh, but you know, we have children, unfortunately. Yeah. And so we all do Thanksgiving in many different ways. Gavin: 9:22 So many more expectations placed upon us for sure. And trying to create magic and keep it all balanced, especially if you&#39;re hosting. Oh my God. Oh my god. Yes. David: 9:31 But Gavin, you said you found some internet article you wanted to bring in. Gavin: 9:34 I mean, you know, we could easily go down a gratitude path because you know I&#39;m all about it. No, no. But I was kind of like, how do I force feed gratitude to my teen and my preteen now? And um, I was Googling like just teens and gratitude. Do you know how much religious shit comes up there constantly? I mean, just like praise God every day, and then there&#39;s gratitude. And I&#39;m like, okay, right, well, praise something every day. But and then I came across something called the Washington Parent, which I have not done the background check on whether Washington Parent is something that we would that would be a gay triarch or not. Oh God, I hope they&#39;re MAGA. I hope they&#39;re something crazy. Well, so far this is pretty boring. But the it was Googling like seven reasons to be thankful for teenagers this Thanksgiving. So this is not about force-feeding gratitude to your kid. It&#39;s more like us staying in the moment of being like, hey, we wanted to be parents, right? Especially David, you and me, this was not a situation in a bathroom in, you know, um, with some Michelobe lights. It was a very intentional thing. Um, so you know, here&#39;s seven reasons why we can be grateful to have teens. So this is something that you can salivate over and um be miserable about for the next 10 years, David. You&#39;re welcome. One, teens sleep in. True. Two, they care about the menu and like the food. So they actually like won&#39;t theoretically throw down a you know a hissy fit over what you&#39;ve um served and if the mashed potatoes are touching the green beans or not. Three, teens can help and clean up for the conversation is more meaningful. No, it won&#39;t be. No, my kids, no, absolutely not. They will eat as fast as they can, they will leave. I&#39;ll try to ask questions about art, life, religion, and politics, and they&#39;ll be like, oh god, dad. And they&#39;ll just grunt monosyllabic things at me. So who is this Washington parent who has children actually talking about life, religion, art, and politics? But anyway. David: 11:27 I feel like your kids and me need to have like a mute mic button, like at a political debate where we&#39;re just like Gavin&#39;s like, well, you know, gratitude, but they just they part of it off. Thanks. Thanks. Gavin: 11:36 You really helped me the process. How about they co-host sometime? That&#39;s an idea. You co-host with my daughter. Oh my god, she will tell so much shit about me. If I think anyway, one, if number five, you can nap again because you can just like leave the teenagers, and all they want it to be is on their damned front phones anyway. Uh, sixteens can sleep up, uh sleep in and put themselves to bed. And seven, it&#39;s much more low-key, stress-free holiday. I cannot imagine Thanksgiving ever be completely being low-key and stress-free because I&#39;m just enough of a control freak that I want it to be amazing. And I don&#39;t know, you&#39;re a control freak too, though. So I am a control freak too. David: 12:13 Relaxing. Yeah, and no, especially because I almost always host Thanksgiving and cook everything. Oh, everything. You don&#39;t allow anybody knowing. No, no, that&#39;s the control freak. So I am I am happiest when people leave me alone to just serve them. Yeah. Like they&#39;re like, well, when are you gonna sit down? Sit down, sweet. I&#39;m like, stop it. Gavin: 12:30 I have things to you guys eat. The angry host at that, or are you genuinely happy? David: 12:35 No, it makes me happy to think that they are just they are eating and they&#39;re happy and they&#39;re not worrying about if I&#39;m gonna be there because that stresses me out that they&#39;re like, well, we&#39;re not gonna start without you. Um, okay, that is really great reasons to look forward to having a teenager. I won&#39;t even get into having a five and two-year-old for a meal. Gavin: 12:52 How are you grateful for them this Thanksgiving? David: 12:55 I&#39;m not, I&#39;m not even gonna go into it. But I do have one final question to wrap up this Thanksgiving bit. Please. And it&#39;s just, and it&#39;s a it&#39;s Gavin, you have to answer just succinctly. Uh-huh. Does Christmas begin on November 1st, the day after Thanksgiving, or December 1st? Day after Thanksgiving. That&#39;s incorrect. Um, thank you for playing with us. No, that is also what my husband believes. I am a the day those Halloween decorations come down, Christmas goes up. No. We had to meet in the middle. We&#39;re gonna meet in the middle, and now we have agreed to the day after Thanksgiving. Gavin: 13:26 That is when See, this is why you are such a cold-hearted snake, because you don&#39;t indulge in any of...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s Thanksgiving week, and Gavin is obviously giving thanks. We talk about new eras of parenting, we ask our listener to send us questions, Gavin is annoyed with grades, we rank the top 3 covers that are better than the original, and this week we a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s Thanksgiving week, and Gavin is obviously giving thanks. We talk about new eras of parenting, we ask our listener to send us questions, Gavin is annoyed with grades, we rank the top 3 covers that are better than the original, and this week we are joined by two of the brightest and best (excpet for the moment they agreed to be on our stupid little podcast) Avgi Saketopoulou &#38; Ann Pellegrini,  authors of the new book &#34;Gender Without Identity,&#34; where we talk all things gender, raising kids to be their most authentic selves, why they think all gender is rooted in trauma, and somehow, some way, we make Ann even gayer than they already were. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Sh uh shall I keep going with that? Grades. Um or have we done enough? And I&#39;ll leave that for the next time. We&#39;re gonna do the thanks. That was kind of like the summing up. Let&#39;s go to Thanksgiving then. Okay. And I&#39;ll bring grades um to later because it feels like you re you wrapped up rants and um I&#39;m not funny and should be fired anyway. David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch. Yeah, that is gatriarchs. Okay, so you and I have talked endlessly about like these new eras of parenting and how when they come, it&#39;s not this huge big ceremony, it&#39;s these little moments that you look back and you&#39;re like, holy shit, that was the moment. So I had three this week. Gavin: 0:51 That&#39;s like that&#39;s like a third of Taylor Swift eras, I might add. That you are, I mean, when you think of eras, I mean it&#39;s dog years, right? Like toddlering eras are go maybe six months, but um you know Taylor Swift is uh an album every two years. And um, anyway, eras. Eras are all it&#39;s it&#39;s an era of eras. David: 1:12 Um but my because my kids are so young, I do feel really good. Shut up, Gavin. That way you jumped. I know. Do you not have a thing on the side of your computer? I have a thing on the side of my computer that says, don&#39;t say like so much and slow down. Yours should say, is it and stop talking? Um, but anyway, so I have young kids, so my eras happen so fast. Yes. And so here&#39;s some era things that happened this week. So, you know, the little plastic, it&#39;s it&#39;s a whale for us. Yeah, it&#39;s like the birthday. Yeah, I already know. Yes, the bathtub baby. Yeah. We were cleaning the bathtub and we were like, we don&#39;t have babies anymore. Do we need this? And we said no, and I took it off, and it was weird to throw away, even though the underside was covered in mold. Mold. unknown: 1:55 Covered in mold. David: 1:56 We have never cleaned it. Gavin: 1:57 Do you know how many times I open my kids&#39; water bottle? Not infrequently, I might add. And I look at the like the you know, the screw top and I&#39;m like, oh, there&#39;s definitely mold in that. But we&#39;re just I mean, I&#39;m I&#39;m boosting their immunity system, right? Yeah, absolutely. Their immune system. Um, I have those errors are so um indelible. I&#39;ll never forget the pictures that I took the time that I, in the middle of the night, went mission impossible dun dun dun with a bunch of uh stuffed animals, threw them in the trash and took a picture. And it was sad for four seconds and then I got over it. And it does seem like on another topic. I mean, throwing away stuffed animals seems so awful. There&#39;s got to be a way to recycle them or upcycle them or something. No, ultimately, nobody wants your cast off um stuffed animals. So throw them in the trash and enter a new era. David: 2:43 Anyway, I saw a TikTok of somebody pulling uh drywall down, and somebody had stuffed the wall cavity with um uh stuffed animals as insulation. Anyway, that&#39;s um yep, and so the thing that&#39;s yeah, the other thing that&#39;s happening this week for me is my two-year-old daughter, who I&#39;m so used to being able to do whatever I want in front of her because she never remembers anything and she can&#39;t really say anything, um, fucking called me out in front of my husband. And they were we were talking about her hair and you know, girls&#39; hair gets naughty and whatever. And yeah, and Hannah says to my husband, she goes, Um, you give me conditioner. Daddy doesn&#39;t condition my hair. And my stomach dropped, and I was like, I don&#39;t, because it&#39;s a step I can skip and go to bed earlier. And bitch just called me out. Bitch, just call you out. Um, so that was number two. And uh number three, um, uh, I my son went to go poop and he closed the door and usually asked me to sit in there with him, but this time he didn&#39;t. And for a while I was like, what is going on? He&#39;s in there forever. So then I open the door, unannounced, I don&#39;t knock, I just open the door, and there&#39;s my son with his little play um digital camera taking a photo of his junk. The second I walk in, I hear ch and I&#39;m like, and he looks at me, I&#39;m like, Emma, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, I wanted to take a picture of it. And I was like, we can&#39;t do that. And so then I grab the the camera and I start going through it. And it&#39;s just shot after shot of a five-year-old&#39;s dick dick pics. Just dick pics. And I was like, I said to my husband, I was like, we have to burn this. People are gonna think we&#39;re taking dick pics of our children. Absolutely. So um, and then a last little bonus thing is that I have officially, you know, my kids have their little tablets, and there&#39;s some games that I don&#39;t even bother to learn or watch because they&#39;re just stupid princess games or whatever. And now, when my daughter wants to play one, she&#39;ll go, I don&#39;t know how to do this. I don&#39;t. I now just say, go just ask your brother. And I have officially passed the torch of knowing things to him, and he now knows how things go. So these are the changes happening in our household, and they&#39;re they&#39;re small, but they are mighty. Gavin: 4:47 Small but mighty. And yeah, those eras, man, they are they are a real thing. I definitely do the ask my son to do the technology right now. I got a phone, new phone recently. I haven&#39;t I have the brand new iPhone, but that&#39;s because I came from a 12 mini. That was people people. That&#39;s what this is. 12 mini. You still have a 12 mini? And I&#39;m like, yeah, and it should last another three years. But I&#39;ve dropped it so many times. It&#39;s it it was time. David: 5:14 Anyway, but I literally, I literally handed my 12 mini yesterday uh for the Halloween parade. I know we&#39;re recording a little uh out of order, but uh for the Halloween parade, and she she looked at it and she wasn&#39;t sure what to do. I said, It&#39;s a 12 mini, relax. She was like, it&#39;s just it&#39;s just so small, I didn&#39;t know what to do with it. I was like, shut the fuck up. Gavin: 5:31 Well, anyway, I&#39;m definitely in serious teen era right now, too. And it just feels, of course, everything everything feels endless and more epic and this, that, and the other. But we um, I think last time I mentioned how I was holding a grudge about something that my daughter had so easily moved on from. And um, and I I definitely like I didn&#39;t come from an Italian family or I mean, we are so waspy growing up in the Midwest where we don&#39;t tend to talk things through very much. We just, I don&#39;t know, uh, scream and repress, right? But but now um there&#39;s definitely a cultural shift between my partner and I, who he is very Connecticut, and I&#39;m apparently I talk things through more, and he definitely holds on to grudges, and I&#39;m able to kind of like explode about things and move on and forget about it. Well, my daughter&#39;s even better at that. Luckily, she really is able to move on from stuff, and that it&#39;s always a it&#39;s kind of a shock to me that she is able to, because we seem to have some kind of crisis coming together, and I&#39;m still hurt by it, and she&#39;s not. Well, I happen to see on Instagram recently a psychologist talking about how teens are kind of live in dog hours, let&#39;s say. Like an hour for me is seven hours for my teen, and she um is able to get over things much easier than I am. And I&#39;m like, who is the child here? But it has given me a little bit of perspective that we are in an era of my daughter living in um uh dog hours, and um that I, of course, once again, as always, am the child in this relationship. Also, I&#39;m the child in this um podcast, not actually thinking of anything funny to say, but it was a learning experience that we are here to inform also. Don&#39;t hold a grudge and your kid has gotten over it before you have, don&#39;t be the child. David: 7:12 Just put it on the side of your computer, Gaben. Just say, end the story now. And is it funny? But also, you called your daughter a dog, basically. So I just want to put that out there. Thank you for making it funny. Yes. Um, so uh we have been, I am so backed up on saying this, and I apologize to our listener, but we&#39;ve gotten so many very sweet DMs and emails and messages from you all throughout the months that I just haven&#39;t gotten to. And I I fully apologize, but it reminded me that you, our listener, does reach out. You guys do reach out and send us stuff. You guys very much appreciate it. You guys do reach out, thank you. And I very much appreciate it. So I wanted to kind of open the floor to everyone out there. I know we have only one listener, but I would love to do a mailbag episode. And by mail, we mean your ballzack. No, but I I I, you know, I listen to a lot of other podcasts that often will do a mailbag episode of questions you have or things you want us to talk about or whatever. So I&#39;m kind of putting that out to there to you, listener. If you have any questions or you want us to talk about something specific, or you want us just to us to say something stupid or to gave in to tell a long story that has no point, just tell us. Send us an email at Gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com or DM us. Um, two messages I want to bring up. Ben, I&#39;m just gonna use your first names. Ben having a new baby, new listener. Congrats, Ben! And very excited for Ben. And also, Liam sent us a really funny story. Um, we he was particularly moved by my sister-in-law telling people, oh no, I&#39;m pregnant with my brother&#39;s child and making it awkward. Right. Um, and he was telling uh a similar story about uh his husband buying a car and asking the salesman um if he could store dead bodies in the trunk and the guy being really weird because he guess transports dead animals sometimes, but he wanted to make it awkward and very much appreciated that. We love a good awkward uh situation like that for sure. Please send us more awkward stories, but really send us questions so we can do a uh a ball bag episode. So, with that, it is also November 20th, and it is about to be Thanksgiving next week. Oh, Lee Moli, favorite time of the year. Everybody does Thanksgiving differently. Uh, but you know, we have children, unfortunately. Yeah. And so we all do Thanksgiving in many different ways. Gavin: 9:22 So many more expectations placed upon us for sure. And trying to create magic and keep it all balanced, especially if you&#39;re hosting. Oh my God. Oh my god. Yes. David: 9:31 But Gavin, you said you found some internet article you wanted to bring in. Gavin: 9:34 I mean, you know, we could easily go down a gratitude path because you know I&#39;m all about it. No, no. But I was kind of like, how do I force feed gratitude to my teen and my preteen now? And um, I was Googling like just teens and gratitude. Do you know how much religious shit comes up there constantly? I mean, just like praise God every day, and then there&#39;s gratitude. And I&#39;m like, okay, right, well, praise something every day. But and then I came across something called the Washington Parent, which I have not done the background check on whether Washington Parent is something that we would that would be a gay triarch or not. Oh God, I hope they&#39;re MAGA. I hope they&#39;re something crazy. Well, so far this is pretty boring. But the it was Googling like seven reasons to be thankful for teenagers this Thanksgiving. So this is not about force-feeding gratitude to your kid. It&#39;s more like us staying in the moment of being like, hey, we wanted to be parents, right? Especially David, you and me, this was not a situation in a bathroom in, you know, um, with some Michelobe lights. It was a very intentional thing. Um, so you know, here&#39;s seven reasons why we can be grateful to have teens. So this is something that you can salivate over and um be miserable about for the next 10 years, David. You&#39;re welcome. One, teens sleep in. True. Two, they care about the menu and like the food. So they actually like won&#39;t theoretically throw down a you know a hissy fit over what you&#39;ve um served and if the mashed potatoes are touching the green beans or not. Three, teens can help and clean up for the conversation is more meaningful. No, it won&#39;t be. No, my kids, no, absolutely not. They will eat as fast as they can, they will leave. I&#39;ll try to ask questions about art, life, religion, and politics, and they&#39;ll be like, oh god, dad. And they&#39;ll just grunt monosyllabic things at me. So who is this Washington parent who has children actually talking about life, religion, art, and politics? But anyway. David: 11:27 I feel like your kids and me need to have like a mute mic button, like at a political debate where we&#39;re just like Gavin&#39;s like, well, you know, gratitude, but they just they part of it off. Thanks. Thanks. Gavin: 11:36 You really helped me the process. How about they co-host sometime? That&#39;s an idea. You co-host with my daughter. Oh my god, she will tell so much shit about me. If I think anyway, one, if number five, you can nap again because you can just like leave the teenagers, and all they want it to be is on their damned front phones anyway. Uh, sixteens can sleep up, uh sleep in and put themselves to bed. And seven, it&#39;s much more low-key, stress-free holiday. I cannot imagine Thanksgiving ever be completely being low-key and stress-free because I&#39;m just enough of a control freak that I want it to be amazing. And I don&#39;t know, you&#39;re a control freak too, though. So I am a control freak too. David: 12:13 Relaxing. Yeah, and no, especially because I almost always host Thanksgiving and cook everything. Oh, everything. You don&#39;t allow anybody knowing. No, no, that&#39;s the control freak. So I am I am happiest when people leave me alone to just serve them. Yeah. Like they&#39;re like, well, when are you gonna sit down? Sit down, sweet. I&#39;m like, stop it. Gavin: 12:30 I have things to you guys eat. The angry host at that, or are you genuinely happy? David: 12:35 No, it makes me happy to think that they are just they are eating and they&#39;re happy and they&#39;re not worrying about if I&#39;m gonna be there because that stresses me out that they&#39;re like, well, we&#39;re not gonna start without you. Um, okay, that is really great reasons to look forward to having a teenager. I won&#39;t even get into having a five and two-year-old for a meal. Gavin: 12:52 How are you grateful for them this Thanksgiving? David: 12:55 I&#39;m not, I&#39;m not even gonna go into it. But I do have one final question to wrap up this Thanksgiving bit. Please. And it&#39;s just, and it&#39;s a it&#39;s Gavin, you have to answer just succinctly. Uh-huh. Does Christmas begin on November 1st, the day after Thanksgiving, or December 1st? Day after Thanksgiving. That&#39;s incorrect. Um, thank you for playing with us. No, that is also what my husband believes. I am a the day those Halloween decorations come down, Christmas goes up. No. We had to meet in the middle. We&#39;re gonna meet in the middle, and now we have agreed to the day after Thanksgiving. Gavin: 13:26 That is when See, this is why you are such a cold-hearted snake, because you don&#39;t indulge in any of...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s Thanksgiving week, and Gavin is obviously giving thanks. We talk about new eras of parenting, we ask our listener to send us questions, Gavin is annoyed with grades, we rank the top 3 covers that are better than the original, and this week we are joined by two of the brightest and best (excpet for the moment they agreed to be on our stupid little podcast) Avgi Saketopoulou &#38; Ann Pellegrini,  authors of the new book &#34;Gender Without Identity,&#34; where we talk all things gender, raising kids to be their most authentic selves, why they think all gender is rooted in trauma, and somehow, some way, we make Ann even gayer than they already were. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Sh uh shall I keep going with that? Grades. Um or have we done enough? And I&#39;ll leave that for the next time. We&#39;re gonna do the thanks. That was kind of like the summing up. Let&#39;s go to Thanksgiving then. Okay. And I&#39;ll bring grades um to later because it feels like you re you wrapped up rants and um I&#39;m not funny and should be fired anyway. David: 0:20 And this is Gatriarch. Yeah, that is gatriarchs. Okay, so you and I have talked endlessly about like these new eras of parenting and how when they come, it&#39;s not this huge big ceremony, it&#39;s these little moments that you look back and you&#39;re like, holy shit, that was the moment. So I had three this week. Gavin: 0:51 That&#39;s like that&#39;s like a third of Taylor Swift eras, I might add. That you are, I mean, when you think of eras, I mean it&#39;s dog years, right? Like toddlering eras are go maybe six months, but um you know Taylor Swift is uh an album every two years. And um, anyway, eras. Eras are all it&#39;s it&#39;s an era of eras. David: 1:12 Um but my because my kids are so young, I do feel really good. Shut up, Gavin. That way you jumped. I know. Do you not have a thing on the side of your computer? I have a thing on the side of my computer that says, don&#39;t say like so much and slow down. Yours should say, is it and stop talking? Um, but anyway, so I have young kids, so my eras happen so fast. Yes. And so here&#39;s some era things that happened this week. So, you know, the little plastic, it&#39;s it&#39;s a whale for us. Yeah, it&#39;s like the birthday. Yeah, I already know. Yes, the bathtub baby. Yeah. We were cleaning the bathtub and we were like, we don&#39;t have babies anymore. Do we need this? And we said no, and I took it off, and it was weird to throw away, even though the underside was covered in mold. Mold. unknown: 1:55 Covered in mold. David: 1:56 We have never cleaned it. Gavin: 1:57 Do you know how many times I open my kids&#39; water bottle? Not infrequently, I might add. And I look at the like the you know, the screw top and I&#39;m like, oh, there&#39;s definitely mold in that. But we&#39;re just I mean, I&#39;m I&#39;m boosting their immunity system, right? Yeah, absolutely. Their immune system. Um, I have those errors are so um indelible. I&#39;ll never forget the pictures that I took the time that I, in the middle of the night, went mission impossible dun dun dun with a bunch of uh stuffed animals, threw them in the trash and took a picture. And it was sad for four seconds and then I got over it. And it does seem like on another topic. I mean, throwing away stuffed animals seems so awful. There&#39;s got to be a way to recycle them or upcycle them or something. No, ultimately, nobody wants your cast off um stuffed animals. So throw them in the trash and enter a new era. David: 2:43 Anyway, I saw a TikTok of somebody pulling uh drywall down, and somebody had stuffed the wall cavity with um uh stuffed animals as insulation. Anyway, that&#39;s um yep, and so the thing that&#39;s yeah, the other thing that&#39;s happening this week for me is my two-year-old daughter, who I&#39;m so used to being able to]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s Thanksgiving week, and Gavin is obviously giving thanks. We talk about new eras of parenting, we ask our listener to send us questions, Gavin is annoyed with grades, we rank the top 3 covers that are better than the original, and this week we are joined by two of the brightest and best (excpet for the moment they agreed to be on our stupid little podcast) Avgi Saketopoulou &#38; Ann Pellegrini,  authors of the new book &#34;Gender Without Identity,&#34; where we talk all things gender, raising kids to be their most authentic selves, why they think all gender is rooted in trauma, and somehow, some way, we make Ann even gayer than they already were. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Sh uh shall I keep going with that? Grades. Um or have we done enough? And I&#39;ll leave that for the next time. We&#39;re gonna do the thanks. That was kind of like the summi]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Post-election clarity</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/post-election-clarity/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Nov 2024 20:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It’s November 6th, the day after the election. A lot of big feelings going on. And while Gaytriarchs is meant to make you dumber and shallower, we thought that we might add our unsolicited 2 cents to the miasma of emotion…but with a specialist. Our last minute guest, Dale Daley, a psychologist, chats with us briefly about some coping skills for both ourselves and how to chat with our kids about what happened, and how we&apos;re feeling. Take care of yourself. Talk with your kids. Raise activists to fight another day. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Hi, listener. Uh, I know this episode probably just popped up on your feed and you&#39;re like, what the fuck? We already have an episode today. SPEAKER_02: 0:08 But and has Kavan been drinking again? David: 0:11 Well, probably. Yes. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 We we just got an episode this morning. And yes, um, I was drinking. But this is a special episode, and we always make sure that Gatriarchs is a fun and lighthearted place where people don&#39;t learn anything or grow as a person, but hopefully they laugh. David: 0:27 Uh, yes. But uh last night was obviously pretty terrible for a lot of us, and we all need a little bit of extra love today and processing what any of this means. But really, more importantly, what I worried for me selfishly, because this is always about me. Always it&#39;s about me too. Don&#39;t forget me, David. It&#39;s about me too. Yes. Is is how obviously how do I get through the day? Um, but that&#39;s on me. But how do I talk to my kids about this? And I know we all have different kids, different ages, mine are five and two. Gavin&#39;s got teens and preteens. Um, but how do we talk to them about this? And so, unfortunately, for you listener out there, this may be a helpful episode. It&#39;s gonna be a quick one. Um, and I reached out to our guest and he absolutely said, Yes, I&#39;ll join you, and I so appreciate it. So, this is not gonna be a classy episode where we have all of these sound cues and it&#39;s highly edited. This is just a park and bark, and we&#39;re just gonna go through it. So, our guest is already here. His name is Dale Daly. He&#39;s a social worker and he&#39;s a psychotherapist, and most importantly, he&#39;s a fellow New Yorker, so we can talk about all things New York. But we brought him on today to please tell us how do we talk to our kids about this? So, please, welcome to Gatriarchs, Dale. Hi, Dale. SPEAKER_02: 1:40 Thank you, Dale. Hi, Dale. Hi. Um, just jumping into it, Dale. How do we, as adults, as parents and non-parents, how would you say we should get through this period of um shock and awe and um quite possibly paralyzation we all feel today? SPEAKER_01: 1:58 Yeah. Well, I think therapy is always based, and particularly, I had some training as an analyst, as a psychoanalyst. And so that&#39;s just a way of saying we often talk about, we tell stories. Uh, we tell stories about our lives that in some ways, and there&#39;s a wonderful line from uh Andrea Rich, the poet, in which she says, the story of our lives become our lives, which is just to say how we tell stories about ourselves really help us manage. And so part of it is I think people need to sit down and really think about the story, the story that perhaps we&#39;ve been telling ourselves and the story that we now find ourselves in, and maybe look to other stories because historically, God knows, people have been telling stories. And I would say if we had to boil every story down, it&#39;s about people going through their lives and hoping for the best, and then something bad happens, and generally they figure out a way to get through it. The world is full of those stories from um nursery rhymes to fairy tales to Marvel comics are full of stories about how the unexpected happens, and what what the fuck do you do uh when that happens? So, you know, I think everybody woke up this morning. My guess is a lot of us were like, this is absolutely, I guess the old expression about this is uh I&#39;m shocked but not surprised. Um, maybe we all already know the world we live in. Um, and so we realize bad things happen. I started to become a psychotherapist during the middle of the AIDS crisis. Um, it didn&#39;t just come out of nowhere, and frankly, that was something that I think as as queer men, we have a real history that maybe we&#39;re kind of losing touch with because you know, we&#39;re uh people like me are getting old and dying not of AIDS, but of age. So um, but we had to figure out ways to get through it. And I&#39;m sure you probably have seen um Into the Woods, which many people would say was Stephen Sonnheim&#39;s um way of trying to deal with the AIDS crisis. And he told stories and has these wonderful songs that kind of help us get through things. So um, so to go back to that, I think one thing we have to do is sit down and say, um, and it&#39;s particularly, I think, if we&#39;re going to talk to other people and particularly kids, I think we have to say, what&#39;s my story? You know, what do I think about all of this? How have I in the past gotten through other things like this? Probably the most notable one recently that even a lot of kids went through, obviously, is COVID. Um, what did I what did I learn from that? Is there anything I learned that I can use? And I think that&#39;s hard right now because we weren&#39;t carrying our toolbox. But all of a sudden, we need to get those tools out really fast. David: 5:21 Yeah. And and it&#39;s funny, the the thing you were saying about tell your story and characters in Marvel and and and and my world in TV, you know, when they say, you know, your character is only revealed through its response to conflict. And so when you&#39;re talking about building character, it&#39;s always like, you know, you put something in front of them, how do they react? That is their character. So that&#39;s that&#39;s really helpful advice. I find I&#39;m struggling with my kids. You&#39;re to say talking to your kids and telling the story, is trying to not cover what I how I talk to my kids with all the anger and fear and um vitriol that I feel seething out of my bones because they can&#39;t understand that. And so I&#39;m finding I&#39;m struggling to my son last night. This was before the election, said, I hope I don&#39;t want Donald Trump to win. I said, Why? I couldn&#39;t believe he had even heard those words. And he was like, Because then they&#39;ll take one of you. And somebody had told him that gay dads and it all kind of came through. So it it fills me with rage. I&#39;m feeling rage right now. And so I know one of the I&#39;m not listening I&#39;m not a therapist. I&#39;m I am a therapist dream. You&#39;re gonna make your whole life off of what&#39;s going on in my head. But the one thing I do know is I can&#39;t layer all of this vitriol on how I talk to my kids. So is there any practical ways that we can talk to them about A, what happened, but really B, why dads or moms or mom and dad are acting the way they are? SPEAKER_01: 6:45 Yeah, yeah. Well, I, you know, part of that I would say starts with, again, as best we can. It&#39;s it&#39;s like that old thing about trying to center yourself before you help other people. And I think that&#39;s particularly true with kids. And I know it&#39;s hard because we don&#39;t always have time, particularly the day after something like this, to kind of really find a space to say, what am I thinking and feeling about this? But I think that&#39;s really important before we go to our kids, because you&#39;re absolutely right. Kids shouldn&#39;t have to deal with one, the kind of fear that your son was expressing, because I think we would all say that&#39;s probably in the world that we live in, that is an unlikely scenario. Um and so, you know, sometimes in psychology, we talk about what we call emotional reasoning, which is this idea that, oh, I feel certain things, so therefore it must be true. So I think it&#39;s important at a time like this to go, just because we feel something doesn&#39;t mean it&#39;s true, and then actually use logic, which of course kids have their own kind, but it&#39;s adults who need to help them shape it with some kind of rational thinking to say, of course, you might feel those things. And I&#39;m really glad you&#39;re talking about what you&#39;re feeling, uh, and let me talk to you about that, and let me work my way through it too. But I say as far as fury and anger, frankly, I think that&#39;s part of maybe a parental responsibility. You just have to kind of buck up and go, I need to find places where I can talk about this and lots of them, and I need to talk and rage all I want, but I&#39;m not gonna do it with my kids because that won&#39;t help them at all. Because at the end of the day, you&#39;re trying to figure out a way to help them through it, um, not get them lost in it. SPEAKER_02: 8:46 Yeah, we are all definitely mired in an awful lot of our own emotions and feelings, but it makes, I mean, if I can just translate what you said, we do have to kind of be the grown-up in the situation and not stress them out and not traumatize them. We can talk about the facts, we can share our feelings, but um sometimes uh while it&#39;s good, I think, to show emotion, obviously, we gotta hold back a little bit so that they can process without thinking that they suddenly need to help us feel better because we&#39;re the inconsolable ones. Does that relate? Dale, could you is there any way you could illustrate for us in the first question how you might go about writing your story in the moment? How can we actively do that today, tomorrow, and the next day? SPEAKER_01: 9:36 Well, I I think one one way that I would tell my story is the things we know about everybody&#39;s story. I just want to live a happy life and I want to be safe, you know, and I and I want to feel like I&#39;m in a world that feels like it has some control in it. And we are very blessed, but also really challenged by the fact that we largely have a life like that. Many of us, um, you know, it may be helpful in a weird way that we&#39;re queer because we do know what it&#39;s like to be the other, but largely we don&#39;t. Um, so it makes perfect sense that we want to feel safe and we want to feel like uh we have some way of accessing happiness and joy, and maybe telling ourselves that story that this is this is when I have to go to my superpower, or this is when I have to dig really deep and think about my ancestors, or this is when I have to dig really deep and think about when I was 30 and thought I was gonna die. You know, think about those times that we&#39;ve had those, you know, I guess we formally call them vicissitudes, you know, shit, the shit that happens in our lives. David: 10:56 Thank you for translating for me. I really appreciate it. Vicissitudes went right over my own. SPEAKER_01: 10:59 Vicissitudes is a nice word for shit. Um and and how we did that in the past, what that story was for us, and if that has any relevance to things now. SPEAKER_02: 11:13 We so frequently end our episodes talking about shit, frankly. We love to say to people, tell us about those shitty times as a parent when the kid pooped in the subway or pooped in a restaurant or pooped in your hand or whatever. And so I feel like um we just needed a little bit, some vicissitudes, some shit to get through our shit. And Dale, um, thank you for taking some time. Demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast. What feels like a really important time, but maybe we just dig deep and tell a new story and say, you know what, it&#39;s a new chapter. And here we fucking go, parents and nonparents alike. So thank you, Dale. Thank you, Dale. SPEAKER_01: 11:56 You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome.]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It’s November 6th, the day after the election. A lot of big feelings going on. And while Gaytriarchs is meant to make you dumber and shallower, we thought that we might add our unsolicited 2 cents to the miasma of emotion…but with a specialist. Our last ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It’s November 6th, the day after the election. A lot of big feelings going on. And while Gaytriarchs is meant to make you dumber and shallower, we thought that we might add our unsolicited 2 cents to the miasma of emotion…but with a specialist. Our last minute guest, Dale Daley, a psychologist, chats with us briefly about some coping skills for both ourselves and how to chat with our kids about what happened, and how we&apos;re feeling. Take care of yourself. Talk with your kids. Raise activists to fight another day. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Hi, listener. Uh, I know this episode probably just popped up on your feed and you&#39;re like, what the fuck? We already have an episode today. SPEAKER_02: 0:08 But and has Kavan been drinking again? David: 0:11 Well, probably. Yes. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 We we just got an episode this morning. And yes, um, I was drinking. But this is a special episode, and we always make sure that Gatriarchs is a fun and lighthearted place where people don&#39;t learn anything or grow as a person, but hopefully they laugh. David: 0:27 Uh, yes. But uh last night was obviously pretty terrible for a lot of us, and we all need a little bit of extra love today and processing what any of this means. But really, more importantly, what I worried for me selfishly, because this is always about me. Always it&#39;s about me too. Don&#39;t forget me, David. It&#39;s about me too. Yes. Is is how obviously how do I get through the day? Um, but that&#39;s on me. But how do I talk to my kids about this? And I know we all have different kids, different ages, mine are five and two. Gavin&#39;s got teens and preteens. Um, but how do we talk to them about this? And so, unfortunately, for you listener out there, this may be a helpful episode. It&#39;s gonna be a quick one. Um, and I reached out to our guest and he absolutely said, Yes, I&#39;ll join you, and I so appreciate it. So, this is not gonna be a classy episode where we have all of these sound cues and it&#39;s highly edited. This is just a park and bark, and we&#39;re just gonna go through it. So, our guest is already here. His name is Dale Daly. He&#39;s a social worker and he&#39;s a psychotherapist, and most importantly, he&#39;s a fellow New Yorker, so we can talk about all things New York. But we brought him on today to please tell us how do we talk to our kids about this? So, please, welcome to Gatriarchs, Dale. Hi, Dale. SPEAKER_02: 1:40 Thank you, Dale. Hi, Dale. Hi. Um, just jumping into it, Dale. How do we, as adults, as parents and non-parents, how would you say we should get through this period of um shock and awe and um quite possibly paralyzation we all feel today? SPEAKER_01: 1:58 Yeah. Well, I think therapy is always based, and particularly, I had some training as an analyst, as a psychoanalyst. And so that&#39;s just a way of saying we often talk about, we tell stories. Uh, we tell stories about our lives that in some ways, and there&#39;s a wonderful line from uh Andrea Rich, the poet, in which she says, the story of our lives become our lives, which is just to say how we tell stories about ourselves really help us manage. And so part of it is I think people need to sit down and really think about the story, the story that perhaps we&#39;ve been telling ourselves and the story that we now find ourselves in, and maybe look to other stories because historically, God knows, people have been telling stories. And I would say if we had to boil every story down, it&#39;s about people going through their lives and hoping for the best, and then something bad happens, and generally they figure out a way to get through it. The world is full of those stories from um nursery rhymes to fairy tales to Marvel comics are full of stories about how the unexpected happens, and what what the fuck do you do uh when that happens? So, you know, I think everybody woke up this morning. My guess is a lot of us were like, this is absolutely, I guess the old expression about this is uh I&#39;m shocked but not surprised. Um, maybe we all already know the world we live in. Um, and so we realize bad things happen. I started to become a psychotherapist during the middle of the AIDS crisis. Um, it didn&#39;t just come out of nowhere, and frankly, that was something that I think as as queer men, we have a real history that maybe we&#39;re kind of losing touch with because you know, we&#39;re uh people like me are getting old and dying not of AIDS, but of age. So um, but we had to figure out ways to get through it. And I&#39;m sure you probably have seen um Into the Woods, which many people would say was Stephen Sonnheim&#39;s um way of trying to deal with the AIDS crisis. And he told stories and has these wonderful songs that kind of help us get through things. So um, so to go back to that, I think one thing we have to do is sit down and say, um, and it&#39;s particularly, I think, if we&#39;re going to talk to other people and particularly kids, I think we have to say, what&#39;s my story? You know, what do I think about all of this? How have I in the past gotten through other things like this? Probably the most notable one recently that even a lot of kids went through, obviously, is COVID. Um, what did I what did I learn from that? Is there anything I learned that I can use? And I think that&#39;s hard right now because we weren&#39;t carrying our toolbox. But all of a sudden, we need to get those tools out really fast. David: 5:21 Yeah. And and it&#39;s funny, the the thing you were saying about tell your story and characters in Marvel and and and and my world in TV, you know, when they say, you know, your character is only revealed through its response to conflict. And so when you&#39;re talking about building character, it&#39;s always like, you know, you put something in front of them, how do they react? That is their character. So that&#39;s that&#39;s really helpful advice. I find I&#39;m struggling with my kids. You&#39;re to say talking to your kids and telling the story, is trying to not cover what I how I talk to my kids with all the anger and fear and um vitriol that I feel seething out of my bones because they can&#39;t understand that. And so I&#39;m finding I&#39;m struggling to my son last night. This was before the election, said, I hope I don&#39;t want Donald Trump to win. I said, Why? I couldn&#39;t believe he had even heard those words. And he was like, Because then they&#39;ll take one of you. And somebody had told him that gay dads and it all kind of came through. So it it fills me with rage. I&#39;m feeling rage right now. And so I know one of the I&#39;m not listening I&#39;m not a therapist. I&#39;m I am a therapist dream. You&#39;re gonna make your whole life off of what&#39;s going on in my head. But the one thing I do know is I can&#39;t layer all of this vitriol on how I talk to my kids. So is there any practical ways that we can talk to them about A, what happened, but really B, why dads or moms or mom and dad are acting the way they are? SPEAKER_01: 6:45 Yeah, yeah. Well, I, you know, part of that I would say starts with, again, as best we can. It&#39;s it&#39;s like that old thing about trying to center yourself before you help other people. And I think that&#39;s particularly true with kids. And I know it&#39;s hard because we don&#39;t always have time, particularly the day after something like this, to kind of really find a space to say, what am I thinking and feeling about this? But I think that&#39;s really important before we go to our kids, because you&#39;re absolutely right. Kids shouldn&#39;t have to deal with one, the kind of fear that your son was expressing, because I think we would all say that&#39;s probably in the world that we live in, that is an unlikely scenario. Um and so, you know, sometimes in psychology, we talk about what we call emotional reasoning, which is this idea that, oh, I feel certain things, so therefore it must be true. So I think it&#39;s important at a time like this to go, just because we feel something doesn&#39;t mean it&#39;s true, and then actually use logic, which of course kids have their own kind, but it&#39;s adults who need to help them shape it with some kind of rational thinking to say, of course, you might feel those things. And I&#39;m really glad you&#39;re talking about what you&#39;re feeling, uh, and let me talk to you about that, and let me work my way through it too. But I say as far as fury and anger, frankly, I think that&#39;s part of maybe a parental responsibility. You just have to kind of buck up and go, I need to find places where I can talk about this and lots of them, and I need to talk and rage all I want, but I&#39;m not gonna do it with my kids because that won&#39;t help them at all. Because at the end of the day, you&#39;re trying to figure out a way to help them through it, um, not get them lost in it. SPEAKER_02: 8:46 Yeah, we are all definitely mired in an awful lot of our own emotions and feelings, but it makes, I mean, if I can just translate what you said, we do have to kind of be the grown-up in the situation and not stress them out and not traumatize them. We can talk about the facts, we can share our feelings, but um sometimes uh while it&#39;s good, I think, to show emotion, obviously, we gotta hold back a little bit so that they can process without thinking that they suddenly need to help us feel better because we&#39;re the inconsolable ones. Does that relate? Dale, could you is there any way you could illustrate for us in the first question how you might go about writing your story in the moment? How can we actively do that today, tomorrow, and the next day? SPEAKER_01: 9:36 Well, I I think one one way that I would tell my story is the things we know about everybody&#39;s story. I just want to live a happy life and I want to be safe, you know, and I and I want to feel like I&#39;m in a world that feels like it has some control in it. And we are very blessed, but also really challenged by the fact that we largely have a life like that. Many of us, um, you know, it may be helpful in a weird way that we&#39;re queer because we do know what it&#39;s like to be the other, but largely we don&#39;t. Um, so it makes perfect sense that we want to feel safe and we want to feel like uh we have some way of accessing happiness and joy, and maybe telling ourselves that story that this is this is when I have to go to my superpower, or this is when I have to dig really deep and think about my ancestors, or this is when I have to dig really deep and think about when I was 30 and thought I was gonna die. You know, think about those times that we&#39;ve had those, you know, I guess we formally call them vicissitudes, you know, shit, the shit that happens in our lives. David: 10:56 Thank you for translating for me. I really appreciate it. Vicissitudes went right over my own. SPEAKER_01: 10:59 Vicissitudes is a nice word for shit. Um and and how we did that in the past, what that story was for us, and if that has any relevance to things now. SPEAKER_02: 11:13 We so frequently end our episodes talking about shit, frankly. We love to say to people, tell us about those shitty times as a parent when the kid pooped in the subway or pooped in a restaurant or pooped in your hand or whatever. And so I feel like um we just needed a little bit, some vicissitudes, some shit to get through our shit. And Dale, um, thank you for taking some time. Demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast. What feels like a really important time, but maybe we just dig deep and tell a new story and say, you know what, it&#39;s a new chapter. And here we fucking go, parents and nonparents alike. So thank you, Dale. Thank you, Dale. SPEAKER_01: 11:56 You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome.]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It’s November 6th, the day after the election. A lot of big feelings going on. And while Gaytriarchs is meant to make you dumber and shallower, we thought that we might add our unsolicited 2 cents to the miasma of emotion…but with a specialist. Our last minute guest, Dale Daley, a psychologist, chats with us briefly about some coping skills for both ourselves and how to chat with our kids about what happened, and how we&apos;re feeling. Take care of yourself. Talk with your kids. Raise activists to fight another day. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Hi, listener. Uh, I know this episode probably just popped up on your feed and you&#39;re like, what the fuck? We already have an episode today. SPEAKER_02: 0:08 But and has Kavan been drinking again? David: 0:11 Well, probably. Yes. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 We we just got an episode this morning. And yes, um, I was drinking. But this is a special episode, and we always make sure that Gatriarchs is a fun and lighthearted place where people don&#39;t learn anything or grow as a person, but hopefully they laugh. David: 0:27 Uh, yes. But uh last night was obviously pretty terrible for a lot of us, and we all need a little bit of extra love today and processing what any of this means. But really, more importantly, what I worried for me selfishly, because this is always about me. Always it&#39;s about me too. Don&#39;t forget me, David. It&#39;s about me too. Yes. Is is how obviously how do I get through the day? Um, but that&#39;s on me. But how do I talk to my kids about this? And I know we all have different kids, different ages, mine are five and two. Gavin&#39;s got teens and preteens. Um, but how do we talk to them about this? And so, unfortunately, for you listener out there, this may be a helpful episode. It&#39;s gonna be a quick one. Um, and I reached out to our guest and he absolutely said, Yes, I&#39;ll join you, and I so appreciate it. So, this is not gonna be a classy episode where we have all of these sound cues and it&#39;s highly edited. This is just a park and bark, and we&#39;re just gonna go through it. So, our guest is already here. His name is Dale Daly. He&#39;s a social worker and he&#39;s a psychotherapist, and most importantly, he&#39;s a fellow New Yorker, so we can talk about all things New York. But we brought him on today to please tell us how do we talk to our kids about this? So, please, welcome to Gatriarchs, Dale. Hi, Dale. SPEAKER_02: 1:40 Thank you, Dale. Hi, Dale. Hi. Um, just jumping into it, Dale. How do we, as adults, as parents and non-parents, how would you say we should get through this period of um shock and awe and um quite possibly paralyzation we all feel today? SPEAKER_01: 1:58 Yeah. Well, I think therapy is always based, and particularly, I had some training as an analyst, as a psychoanalyst. And so that&#39;s just a way of saying we often talk about, we tell stories. Uh, we tell stories about our lives that in some ways, and there&#39;s a wonderful line from uh Andrea Rich, the poet, in which she says, the story of our lives become our lives, which is just to say how we tell stories about ourselves really help us manage. And so part of it is I think people need to sit down and really think about the story, the story that perhaps we&#39;ve been telling ourselves and the story that we now find ourselves in, and maybe look to other stories because historically, God knows, people have been telling stories. And I would say if we had to boil every story down, it&#39;s about people going through their lives and hoping for the best, and then something bad happens, and generally they figure out a way to get through it. The world is full of those stories from um nursery rhymes to fairy tales to Marvel comics are full of stories about how the unexpected happens, and what what the fuck do you do uh when that happens? So, you know, I t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It’s November 6th, the day after the election. A lot of big feelings going on. And while Gaytriarchs is meant to make you dumber and shallower, we thought that we might add our unsolicited 2 cents to the miasma of emotion…but with a specialist. Our last minute guest, Dale Daley, a psychologist, chats with us briefly about some coping skills for both ourselves and how to chat with our kids about what happened, and how we&apos;re feeling. Take care of yourself. Talk with your kids. Raise activists to fight another day. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Hi, listener. Uh, I know this episode probably just popped up on your feed and you&#39;re like, what the fuck? We already have an episode today. SPEAKER_02: 0:08 But and has Kavan been drinking again? David: 0:11 Well, probably. Yes. SPEAKER_02: 0:13 We we just got an episode this morning. And yes, um, I was drinking.]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with comedian Kurt Braunohler</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-comedian-kurt-braunohler/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Nov 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we discuss the Tooth Fairy rates (in this economy!?), Gavin needs affirmation, David (barely) runs for the school board, we have another &#34;what would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 best TV parents, and this week we are joined by comedian and fellow ginger Kurt Braunohler who walks us through his career, how it&apos;s changed since getting married and having kids, and why his kids also won&apos;t put on their shoes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast Watch Kurt&apos;s special here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpyUhUVNLs&#38;t=1030s 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It he was so bored and over it, like just you know, just somebody at a massage parlor jerking yeah. David: 0:10 Is this how you wanna end this episode, Gavin? And this is Gatriarchs. So I feel like my husband and I are on the same page about 99.9% of parenting, which is really great. That&#39;s yeah, we&#39;re really lucky. Gavin: 0:39 That&#39;s a very high percentage. David: 0:41 Until last night. Uh-oh. How much do you pay per tooth as the tooth fairy? Because we are miles apart. When I tell you, I said, he goes, well, how much? He asked me, he goes, Well, how much do you think a tooth is going for? I said, I don&#39;t know, five, ten dollars. And the the you you would have thought I shot him in the face. He was like, what? He was like, I was thinking 25 cents a quarter. And I was like, first of all, this isn&#39;t 1917 anymore. Second of all, that is like, can you imagine waking up to a quarter? And like, I just what is the price of genetic material at this point? Gavin: 1:22 Right. But what is the value of money to your son right now? What does he want? Like the idea of getting a quarter and being like, Oh, can we go to that bodega that has the bubblegum machine? I mean, my son would have been thrilled with that when he was five years old. Like, sweet, I get a bubblegum. David: 1:40 Versus like, can I buy 10,000 shares of the QQQ? Like, yeah, no, it&#39;s not that. But what I will say, what moved me a little bit was my husband goes, Well, how many teeth does he have? And I was like, Oh, I gotta pay per tooth. Yeah. Gavin: 1:52 I mean, okay. Well, first of all, this uh does remind me of my PTSD from the time my son was at his pre-K class and uh his little uh friend came up and she said, I lost a tooth last night. I said, Ooh, did the tooth fairy come? She said, uh-huh. And all of the parents, we were all in a tiny, tiny hallway. So we were all listening. I said, How much did you get? She goes,$20. And I was able to look up at her father and say, Wow, you have a particularly generous tooth fairy. David: 2:23 You&#39;ve set a precedent that annoys the fuck out of us. Gavin: 2:26 And yeah, and this guy was not a hedge funder or anything. He was embarrassed and he was kind of like, mm-hmm. I don&#39;t think the tooth fairy had changed last night. And I was like, Yeah, you are setting a really terrible precedent for all the rest of us. David: 2:41 Like, does the tooth fairy have Venmo? Could we just like Venmo from the Tooth Fairy? That&#39;d be kind of cool. That&#39;s kind of cool. Gavin: 2:48 This is almost a dad hack and is super nerdy and super maybe roll your eyes and also hear me out. Very good friends of mine, not listeners of the pod, thanks a lot. Uh, gave me the idea that their, when their kid was really young, the the Tooth Fairy brought a dollar and then four quarters. So, hey, two dollars. But then they also got a uh they probably don&#39;t even make these anymore. The mint made this map where you collected quarters of all the states. Oh, yeah. And it like gave them a little adventure, like, ooh, we get to put the quarters in the thing, you know. My kids were frankly never into that. I, but I forced them to be like, ooh, let&#39;s find where to put the states. And I mean, it was, I don&#39;t know, it wasn&#39;t about the amount of money, honestly. And um, but now I my you know, teens and preteens are still losing a um teeth from time to time. And we have a collection on a part of our kitchen counter that has three teeth on it that have been sitting there for like a year just because you put those next to your foreskin onion ring. And my daughter&#39;s like, I mean, I don&#39;t have any money uh for whatever that she wants to buy. And I&#39;m like, well, you haven&#39;t put your teeth under your pillow anymore. And she&#39;s like, like, that&#39;s gonna get me anything, dad. And I&#39;m like, hey, I mean, come on, when we get down to the last tooth, that tooth fairy, whose name, by the way, is um Prixia, named uh I uh our tooth fairies have really uh creative names. I she&#39;ll get 20 bucks for that last tooth being lost, you know? Come on. It&#39;s not gonna be more than that, though. I don&#39;t know about you being. David: 4:27 So I feel like I&#39;m in the right. You said$20. I&#39;m saying five to ten. Gavin: 4:31 For the last one. I would say five bucks is max. David: 4:34 And I would start with five bucks, but like a quarter? Gavin: 4:37 Nah, two bucks. David: 4:38 Okay. Well, anyway. So the DM us with you guys, uh uh a listener out there, tell us what you uh you pay your kids for the toothberry. Gavin: 4:47 Well, I hear and here I&#39;ve I&#39;m trying to make my case to you, and I think I uh made a fairly good case, which reminds me of the all of the argumentation I do with my children all the time. For instance, my son the other day asked me, why do parents talk about politics so much? And I&#39;m like, Well, you&#39;re in a particularly political household for one thing. But I try to explain myself, and then I can hear myself trying to explain myself, and my kids are nodding their heads just like you&#39;re doing to me over Zoom, being like, Yeah, we get it, Dad. Yeah, we get it, Dad. And I have a genetic deformity in my brain that keeps me from being able to just shut up. David: 5:22 Listen, our listener is very well aware of this. Gavin: 5:25 And I want to make my point, but then I&#39;m like, but you see what I mean, right? And I I desperately like I want to have these intellectual conversations with my kids so that they understand things and their heads explode and they&#39;re really smart and everything, right? And I know I&#39;ve already beaten them, but I&#39;ve browbeaten them with too many words. So then I&#39;m like, well, you see what I mean, right? And they&#39;re like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And they&#39;re my daughter now just placates me, and she&#39;s like, yeah, dad, and she&#39;s already on her phone. And I realize how often, though, that I basically what I&#39;m saying, you know what I mean, is my way of being like, I&#39;m correct, right? And you agree with me, and all already my children are just placating me and getting me to shut up, even though they don&#39;t actually agree or understand what I&#39;m talking about. But I agree, Gavin. I understand what you&#39;re talking about. Do you see what I mean? Is something that we talk about a lot, and that just reminded me of me of basically trying to convince you that I was right with two dollars with a tooth fairy. You&#39;re welcome. David: 6:18 Every one of our listeners is very well aware that you need to make sure that your voice is heard. Um, my voice was heard the other night at the local board of education meeting. Now, I what? I know, I know you&#39;re a big board of education person. Gavin: 6:31 I&#39;m so proud of it. David: 6:32 I had a a friend who was like, oh, there&#39;s a seat for the board of education that&#39;s available and you should apply to it. And I was like, I know less than nothing about the kind of like, is this an elected position? Is it paid? Is it not? What do they do? Like, I knew nothing. But I was like, you know, fuck it. My kids in school, let&#39;s do it. So you have skin in the game. So I sent an email. Um, I had my four skin in the game. And so I sent an email, and like I was like, great, send us an official letter, which of course I had AI, right? And then he was like, Great, show up at this date, at this time, and we&#39;re gonna like interview you. And here are the sample questions we may send. I wow, at this point, I&#39;ve never been to a meeting. Gavin: 7:09 Wait a minute, wait a minute. This is a completely different system than my board of education here in Connecticut. The it&#39;s an elected position, isn&#39;t it? David: 7:18 How do you get interviewed? It is, but this was somebody who left before their tenure was up. And so this person is gonna be this seat for like four weeks until November, where which is right now, November 6th. Gavin: 7:32 And um In fact, your your election was yesterday. Correct. David: 7:36 So um, anyway, so I was like, you know what, let&#39;s let&#39;s do this. Maybe this could be cool, maybe this could be something that leverages to something else. And so I show up and it is me and two other people there for this position, right? Yeah. And I don&#39;t know anybody, and it&#39;s very like it feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m Oliver North in front of the Congress. Gavin: 7:54 That&#39;s my Oliver North who showed up with both tap shoes and jazz shoes and a 16-bar cut just in case. David: 8:00 Correct. And so um, they put us all in this back room and they bring us out one by one because we&#39;re, I guess, the people before aren&#39;t supposed to hear the other people&#39;s answers. Um, even though when you&#39;re there, then you get to hear the people after you. So there&#39;s a woman who went before me. I didn&#39;t hear anything. And then it was my turn. So I go up there and I&#39;m a little nervous because there are three questions that they sent me that I didn&#39;t have answers to and I didn&#39;t bother looking up. And so I was like, please don&#39;t ask me those questions, uh, right out of the gate. They were like, what&#39;s the difference between the board of ed and the blah, blah, blah, blah? And I was like, I don&#39;t know. But what was most important is that I made them laugh. I made them laugh. And I know there&#39;s some Trumpers on there. There&#39;s an anti-vaxxer, there&#39;s an anti-trans person. So I was like, you know, let me put my gayness out front, let me charm everyone. So I&#39;m like, I&#39;m thinking, okay, you know, the lady before me didn&#39;t seem great. I&#39;m I made them laugh. I didn&#39;t know some of the answers, but I had really great ideas. Well, now it&#39;s the third guy, the last guy. And he now I get to listen to him because you know, Jim already in the thing. This beautiful late 30s soccer dad. Like, just like Sashay&#39;s in. He&#39;s got his wife and his kids there supporting him. He sits down, he&#39;s like, Good morning. And I was like, oh bitch. Then they&#39;re like, so blah, blah, blah. And he is a town softball coach. He is already on the planning board. His wife is currently on the board. It was like one of these things where I was like, and he was charming. And, you know, he said it was a little bland. He said all the things they wanted to hear. Yeah. And I said real things. Like one of the questions was, Will you, you know, if if if a decision is made by the board that you disagree with, will you maintain your silence or basically not go against the board? And I basically said, no, I say, I said, dissent is important. I said respectful dissent. I would never get in Facebook arguments. But if somebody asked me if I support that position, I would say I don&#39;t. And here&#39;s why. And I thought it was important. Of course, he was like, I stand by the board 100%. Anyway, the long story short is halfway through his little speech, I was like, hire him. He&#39;s beautiful. And he&#39;s got like three kids in the system. He had a special ease kids in the town over. He was a soccer. I mean, he was just, he was everything. So I didn&#39;t get it, but it definitely lit a fire underneath me to be like, okay, I need to be a little more active, a little more understanding about how all this stuff works. And then maybe next time a seat opens, I&#39;ll get that one. Gavin: 10:17 Your voice deserves to be there, and they would be lucky to have you. And I cannot wait for you to run next year. And speaking of, uh, yesterday was election day. So that happened. David: 10:30 If you&#39;re listening to this, then I assume the country is still running. Let&#39;s hope so. That&#39;s good. Gavin: 10:37 If you&#39;re listening to the sound of my voice, it&#39;s a good sign. It&#39;s a good sign. It&#39;s a very good sign. Um, I would say that um there have been some definitely bullshit politicians out there. Let&#39;s just have a moment of silence for Italy and Georgia Maloney and her brothers of Italy, huh? David: 10:52 Fuck them. Gavin: 10:53 Anyway, um, we&#39;ve already had a dad hack of the week, right?$2 screwing over your children with their teeth. But um, I do have something to ask you, and that would be um What would you do? So I insist that my kids have some kind of balance, and that is because I&#39;m a Libra, and I need balance in my life, and I therefore I consequently force feed that to everybody in my life, and I think there should be balance, right? They tend to be athletes right now. Uh, we&#39;re in a various sports, having society and community, but I want my kids to have some sense of music, right? So we have said you&#39;re gonna play piano through eighth grade at the very least. But unfortunately, my daughter&#39;s in eighth grade, and she&#39;s like, well, thank God I don&#39;t have to do it next year. And we&#39;re like, well, but anyway, she says she hates uh piano. She hates piano, but she&#39;s actually pretty good at it. And once she&#39;s done it, once she&#39;s gone to her lesson, she doesn&#39;t come out kicking and screaming, right? It&#39;s just about practicing, of course, which is kicking and screaming. But do you let the kid quit because they say they hate it, or do you force feed the spinach because you know it&#39;s good for them? David: 12:09 The problem is that there is no answer because when I was a kid, I was forced to play piano. And my I will never forget my dad saying, I know you hate it now, but in the future, if you could just get at a piano at a party and just start playing things, you&#39;re gonna be so popular. Gavin: 12:30 So much, so much sex. David: 12:32 Oh, that beautiful, beautiful woman. Um, so yeah, and he would say that, and in my mind, I go like, I don&#39;t want to do that. Piano is stupid, I don&#39;t care about that. Let me be done with this. And now that I&#39;m on this side, I I do play the piano, but damn, I wish I could play better. And I wish I had been forced to do it. But at the time, there was no enjoyment. So either save the pain for the future or have the pain now. So I think you make sure that they finish up whatever, like, you know, if it&#39;s an eight-week class or whatever, you make sure they finish it up, but then you say, Well, if it&#39;s not piano, we&#39;re doing something else. And you keep you move to the clarinet or you move to whatever. Yeah. Gavin: 13:07 We have done that actually. And I&#39;m like, hey, you want to play guitar? I will give you lessons for playing a life, uh, a life skill that will get you to be the most popular kid at the party someday. Um, I mean, I&#39;m not sure that piano is really the way to do that, but um, yeah, okay. David: 13:23 So here&#39;s the French horn, kid. Go get some, go get some of that sweet, sweet pussy with this French horn. Gavin: 13:30 Oh, what is not so sweet though, David? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. unknown: 13:40 Yeah, nice. Gavin: 13:41 That was kind of sweet. I don&#39;t know. That was that was good. Yeah, just go. Okay, so this week we are discussing the top three best TV parents. And boy, does this make...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we discuss the Tooth Fairy rates (in this economy!?), Gavin needs affirmation, David (barely) runs for the school board, we have another &#34;what would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 best TV parents, and this week we are joined by comedian a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we discuss the Tooth Fairy rates (in this economy!?), Gavin needs affirmation, David (barely) runs for the school board, we have another &#34;what would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 best TV parents, and this week we are joined by comedian and fellow ginger Kurt Braunohler who walks us through his career, how it&apos;s changed since getting married and having kids, and why his kids also won&apos;t put on their shoes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast Watch Kurt&apos;s special here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpyUhUVNLs&#38;t=1030s 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It he was so bored and over it, like just you know, just somebody at a massage parlor jerking yeah. David: 0:10 Is this how you wanna end this episode, Gavin? And this is Gatriarchs. So I feel like my husband and I are on the same page about 99.9% of parenting, which is really great. That&#39;s yeah, we&#39;re really lucky. Gavin: 0:39 That&#39;s a very high percentage. David: 0:41 Until last night. Uh-oh. How much do you pay per tooth as the tooth fairy? Because we are miles apart. When I tell you, I said, he goes, well, how much? He asked me, he goes, Well, how much do you think a tooth is going for? I said, I don&#39;t know, five, ten dollars. And the the you you would have thought I shot him in the face. He was like, what? He was like, I was thinking 25 cents a quarter. And I was like, first of all, this isn&#39;t 1917 anymore. Second of all, that is like, can you imagine waking up to a quarter? And like, I just what is the price of genetic material at this point? Gavin: 1:22 Right. But what is the value of money to your son right now? What does he want? Like the idea of getting a quarter and being like, Oh, can we go to that bodega that has the bubblegum machine? I mean, my son would have been thrilled with that when he was five years old. Like, sweet, I get a bubblegum. David: 1:40 Versus like, can I buy 10,000 shares of the QQQ? Like, yeah, no, it&#39;s not that. But what I will say, what moved me a little bit was my husband goes, Well, how many teeth does he have? And I was like, Oh, I gotta pay per tooth. Yeah. Gavin: 1:52 I mean, okay. Well, first of all, this uh does remind me of my PTSD from the time my son was at his pre-K class and uh his little uh friend came up and she said, I lost a tooth last night. I said, Ooh, did the tooth fairy come? She said, uh-huh. And all of the parents, we were all in a tiny, tiny hallway. So we were all listening. I said, How much did you get? She goes,$20. And I was able to look up at her father and say, Wow, you have a particularly generous tooth fairy. David: 2:23 You&#39;ve set a precedent that annoys the fuck out of us. Gavin: 2:26 And yeah, and this guy was not a hedge funder or anything. He was embarrassed and he was kind of like, mm-hmm. I don&#39;t think the tooth fairy had changed last night. And I was like, Yeah, you are setting a really terrible precedent for all the rest of us. David: 2:41 Like, does the tooth fairy have Venmo? Could we just like Venmo from the Tooth Fairy? That&#39;d be kind of cool. That&#39;s kind of cool. Gavin: 2:48 This is almost a dad hack and is super nerdy and super maybe roll your eyes and also hear me out. Very good friends of mine, not listeners of the pod, thanks a lot. Uh, gave me the idea that their, when their kid was really young, the the Tooth Fairy brought a dollar and then four quarters. So, hey, two dollars. But then they also got a uh they probably don&#39;t even make these anymore. The mint made this map where you collected quarters of all the states. Oh, yeah. And it like gave them a little adventure, like, ooh, we get to put the quarters in the thing, you know. My kids were frankly never into that. I, but I forced them to be like, ooh, let&#39;s find where to put the states. And I mean, it was, I don&#39;t know, it wasn&#39;t about the amount of money, honestly. And um, but now I my you know, teens and preteens are still losing a um teeth from time to time. And we have a collection on a part of our kitchen counter that has three teeth on it that have been sitting there for like a year just because you put those next to your foreskin onion ring. And my daughter&#39;s like, I mean, I don&#39;t have any money uh for whatever that she wants to buy. And I&#39;m like, well, you haven&#39;t put your teeth under your pillow anymore. And she&#39;s like, like, that&#39;s gonna get me anything, dad. And I&#39;m like, hey, I mean, come on, when we get down to the last tooth, that tooth fairy, whose name, by the way, is um Prixia, named uh I uh our tooth fairies have really uh creative names. I she&#39;ll get 20 bucks for that last tooth being lost, you know? Come on. It&#39;s not gonna be more than that, though. I don&#39;t know about you being. David: 4:27 So I feel like I&#39;m in the right. You said$20. I&#39;m saying five to ten. Gavin: 4:31 For the last one. I would say five bucks is max. David: 4:34 And I would start with five bucks, but like a quarter? Gavin: 4:37 Nah, two bucks. David: 4:38 Okay. Well, anyway. So the DM us with you guys, uh uh a listener out there, tell us what you uh you pay your kids for the toothberry. Gavin: 4:47 Well, I hear and here I&#39;ve I&#39;m trying to make my case to you, and I think I uh made a fairly good case, which reminds me of the all of the argumentation I do with my children all the time. For instance, my son the other day asked me, why do parents talk about politics so much? And I&#39;m like, Well, you&#39;re in a particularly political household for one thing. But I try to explain myself, and then I can hear myself trying to explain myself, and my kids are nodding their heads just like you&#39;re doing to me over Zoom, being like, Yeah, we get it, Dad. Yeah, we get it, Dad. And I have a genetic deformity in my brain that keeps me from being able to just shut up. David: 5:22 Listen, our listener is very well aware of this. Gavin: 5:25 And I want to make my point, but then I&#39;m like, but you see what I mean, right? And I I desperately like I want to have these intellectual conversations with my kids so that they understand things and their heads explode and they&#39;re really smart and everything, right? And I know I&#39;ve already beaten them, but I&#39;ve browbeaten them with too many words. So then I&#39;m like, well, you see what I mean, right? And they&#39;re like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And they&#39;re my daughter now just placates me, and she&#39;s like, yeah, dad, and she&#39;s already on her phone. And I realize how often, though, that I basically what I&#39;m saying, you know what I mean, is my way of being like, I&#39;m correct, right? And you agree with me, and all already my children are just placating me and getting me to shut up, even though they don&#39;t actually agree or understand what I&#39;m talking about. But I agree, Gavin. I understand what you&#39;re talking about. Do you see what I mean? Is something that we talk about a lot, and that just reminded me of me of basically trying to convince you that I was right with two dollars with a tooth fairy. You&#39;re welcome. David: 6:18 Every one of our listeners is very well aware that you need to make sure that your voice is heard. Um, my voice was heard the other night at the local board of education meeting. Now, I what? I know, I know you&#39;re a big board of education person. Gavin: 6:31 I&#39;m so proud of it. David: 6:32 I had a a friend who was like, oh, there&#39;s a seat for the board of education that&#39;s available and you should apply to it. And I was like, I know less than nothing about the kind of like, is this an elected position? Is it paid? Is it not? What do they do? Like, I knew nothing. But I was like, you know, fuck it. My kids in school, let&#39;s do it. So you have skin in the game. So I sent an email. Um, I had my four skin in the game. And so I sent an email, and like I was like, great, send us an official letter, which of course I had AI, right? And then he was like, Great, show up at this date, at this time, and we&#39;re gonna like interview you. And here are the sample questions we may send. I wow, at this point, I&#39;ve never been to a meeting. Gavin: 7:09 Wait a minute, wait a minute. This is a completely different system than my board of education here in Connecticut. The it&#39;s an elected position, isn&#39;t it? David: 7:18 How do you get interviewed? It is, but this was somebody who left before their tenure was up. And so this person is gonna be this seat for like four weeks until November, where which is right now, November 6th. Gavin: 7:32 And um In fact, your your election was yesterday. Correct. David: 7:36 So um, anyway, so I was like, you know what, let&#39;s let&#39;s do this. Maybe this could be cool, maybe this could be something that leverages to something else. And so I show up and it is me and two other people there for this position, right? Yeah. And I don&#39;t know anybody, and it&#39;s very like it feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m Oliver North in front of the Congress. Gavin: 7:54 That&#39;s my Oliver North who showed up with both tap shoes and jazz shoes and a 16-bar cut just in case. David: 8:00 Correct. And so um, they put us all in this back room and they bring us out one by one because we&#39;re, I guess, the people before aren&#39;t supposed to hear the other people&#39;s answers. Um, even though when you&#39;re there, then you get to hear the people after you. So there&#39;s a woman who went before me. I didn&#39;t hear anything. And then it was my turn. So I go up there and I&#39;m a little nervous because there are three questions that they sent me that I didn&#39;t have answers to and I didn&#39;t bother looking up. And so I was like, please don&#39;t ask me those questions, uh, right out of the gate. They were like, what&#39;s the difference between the board of ed and the blah, blah, blah, blah? And I was like, I don&#39;t know. But what was most important is that I made them laugh. I made them laugh. And I know there&#39;s some Trumpers on there. There&#39;s an anti-vaxxer, there&#39;s an anti-trans person. So I was like, you know, let me put my gayness out front, let me charm everyone. So I&#39;m like, I&#39;m thinking, okay, you know, the lady before me didn&#39;t seem great. I&#39;m I made them laugh. I didn&#39;t know some of the answers, but I had really great ideas. Well, now it&#39;s the third guy, the last guy. And he now I get to listen to him because you know, Jim already in the thing. This beautiful late 30s soccer dad. Like, just like Sashay&#39;s in. He&#39;s got his wife and his kids there supporting him. He sits down, he&#39;s like, Good morning. And I was like, oh bitch. Then they&#39;re like, so blah, blah, blah. And he is a town softball coach. He is already on the planning board. His wife is currently on the board. It was like one of these things where I was like, and he was charming. And, you know, he said it was a little bland. He said all the things they wanted to hear. Yeah. And I said real things. Like one of the questions was, Will you, you know, if if if a decision is made by the board that you disagree with, will you maintain your silence or basically not go against the board? And I basically said, no, I say, I said, dissent is important. I said respectful dissent. I would never get in Facebook arguments. But if somebody asked me if I support that position, I would say I don&#39;t. And here&#39;s why. And I thought it was important. Of course, he was like, I stand by the board 100%. Anyway, the long story short is halfway through his little speech, I was like, hire him. He&#39;s beautiful. And he&#39;s got like three kids in the system. He had a special ease kids in the town over. He was a soccer. I mean, he was just, he was everything. So I didn&#39;t get it, but it definitely lit a fire underneath me to be like, okay, I need to be a little more active, a little more understanding about how all this stuff works. And then maybe next time a seat opens, I&#39;ll get that one. Gavin: 10:17 Your voice deserves to be there, and they would be lucky to have you. And I cannot wait for you to run next year. And speaking of, uh, yesterday was election day. So that happened. David: 10:30 If you&#39;re listening to this, then I assume the country is still running. Let&#39;s hope so. That&#39;s good. Gavin: 10:37 If you&#39;re listening to the sound of my voice, it&#39;s a good sign. It&#39;s a good sign. It&#39;s a very good sign. Um, I would say that um there have been some definitely bullshit politicians out there. Let&#39;s just have a moment of silence for Italy and Georgia Maloney and her brothers of Italy, huh? David: 10:52 Fuck them. Gavin: 10:53 Anyway, um, we&#39;ve already had a dad hack of the week, right?$2 screwing over your children with their teeth. But um, I do have something to ask you, and that would be um What would you do? So I insist that my kids have some kind of balance, and that is because I&#39;m a Libra, and I need balance in my life, and I therefore I consequently force feed that to everybody in my life, and I think there should be balance, right? They tend to be athletes right now. Uh, we&#39;re in a various sports, having society and community, but I want my kids to have some sense of music, right? So we have said you&#39;re gonna play piano through eighth grade at the very least. But unfortunately, my daughter&#39;s in eighth grade, and she&#39;s like, well, thank God I don&#39;t have to do it next year. And we&#39;re like, well, but anyway, she says she hates uh piano. She hates piano, but she&#39;s actually pretty good at it. And once she&#39;s done it, once she&#39;s gone to her lesson, she doesn&#39;t come out kicking and screaming, right? It&#39;s just about practicing, of course, which is kicking and screaming. But do you let the kid quit because they say they hate it, or do you force feed the spinach because you know it&#39;s good for them? David: 12:09 The problem is that there is no answer because when I was a kid, I was forced to play piano. And my I will never forget my dad saying, I know you hate it now, but in the future, if you could just get at a piano at a party and just start playing things, you&#39;re gonna be so popular. Gavin: 12:30 So much, so much sex. David: 12:32 Oh, that beautiful, beautiful woman. Um, so yeah, and he would say that, and in my mind, I go like, I don&#39;t want to do that. Piano is stupid, I don&#39;t care about that. Let me be done with this. And now that I&#39;m on this side, I I do play the piano, but damn, I wish I could play better. And I wish I had been forced to do it. But at the time, there was no enjoyment. So either save the pain for the future or have the pain now. So I think you make sure that they finish up whatever, like, you know, if it&#39;s an eight-week class or whatever, you make sure they finish it up, but then you say, Well, if it&#39;s not piano, we&#39;re doing something else. And you keep you move to the clarinet or you move to whatever. Yeah. Gavin: 13:07 We have done that actually. And I&#39;m like, hey, you want to play guitar? I will give you lessons for playing a life, uh, a life skill that will get you to be the most popular kid at the party someday. Um, I mean, I&#39;m not sure that piano is really the way to do that, but um, yeah, okay. David: 13:23 So here&#39;s the French horn, kid. Go get some, go get some of that sweet, sweet pussy with this French horn. Gavin: 13:30 Oh, what is not so sweet though, David? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. unknown: 13:40 Yeah, nice. Gavin: 13:41 That was kind of sweet. I don&#39;t know. That was that was good. Yeah, just go. Okay, so this week we are discussing the top three best TV parents. And boy, does this make...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we discuss the Tooth Fairy rates (in this economy!?), Gavin needs affirmation, David (barely) runs for the school board, we have another &#34;what would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 best TV parents, and this week we are joined by comedian and fellow ginger Kurt Braunohler who walks us through his career, how it&apos;s changed since getting married and having kids, and why his kids also won&apos;t put on their shoes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast Watch Kurt&apos;s special here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpyUhUVNLs&#38;t=1030s 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It he was so bored and over it, like just you know, just somebody at a massage parlor jerking yeah. David: 0:10 Is this how you wanna end this episode, Gavin? And this is Gatriarchs. So I feel like my husband and I are on the same page about 99.9% of parenting, which is really great. That&#39;s yeah, we&#39;re really lucky. Gavin: 0:39 That&#39;s a very high percentage. David: 0:41 Until last night. Uh-oh. How much do you pay per tooth as the tooth fairy? Because we are miles apart. When I tell you, I said, he goes, well, how much? He asked me, he goes, Well, how much do you think a tooth is going for? I said, I don&#39;t know, five, ten dollars. And the the you you would have thought I shot him in the face. He was like, what? He was like, I was thinking 25 cents a quarter. And I was like, first of all, this isn&#39;t 1917 anymore. Second of all, that is like, can you imagine waking up to a quarter? And like, I just what is the price of genetic material at this point? Gavin: 1:22 Right. But what is the value of money to your son right now? What does he want? Like the idea of getting a quarter and being like, Oh, can we go to that bodega that has the bubblegum machine? I mean, my son would have been thrilled with that when he was five years old. Like, sweet, I get a bubblegum. David: 1:40 Versus like, can I buy 10,000 shares of the QQQ? Like, yeah, no, it&#39;s not that. But what I will say, what moved me a little bit was my husband goes, Well, how many teeth does he have? And I was like, Oh, I gotta pay per tooth. Yeah. Gavin: 1:52 I mean, okay. Well, first of all, this uh does remind me of my PTSD from the time my son was at his pre-K class and uh his little uh friend came up and she said, I lost a tooth last night. I said, Ooh, did the tooth fairy come? She said, uh-huh. And all of the parents, we were all in a tiny, tiny hallway. So we were all listening. I said, How much did you get? She goes,$20. And I was able to look up at her father and say, Wow, you have a particularly generous tooth fairy. David: 2:23 You&#39;ve set a precedent that annoys the fuck out of us. Gavin: 2:26 And yeah, and this guy was not a hedge funder or anything. He was embarrassed and he was kind of like, mm-hmm. I don&#39;t think the tooth fairy had changed last night. And I was like, Yeah, you are setting a really terrible precedent for all the rest of us. David: 2:41 Like, does the tooth fairy have Venmo? Could we just like Venmo from the Tooth Fairy? That&#39;d be kind of cool. That&#39;s kind of cool. Gavin: 2:48 This is almost a dad hack and is super nerdy and super maybe roll your eyes and also hear me out. Very good friends of mine, not listeners of the pod, thanks a lot. Uh, gave me the idea that their, when their kid was really young, the the Tooth Fairy brought a dollar and then four quarters. So, hey, two dollars. But then they also got a uh they probably don&#39;t even make these anymore. The mint made this map where you collected quarters of all the states. Oh, yeah. And it like gave them a little adventure, like, ooh, we get to put the quarters in the thing, you know. My kids were frankly never into that. I, but I forced them to be like, ooh, let&#39;s find where to put the states. And I mean, it was, I don&#39;t know, it wasn&#39;t about the amount of money, honestly. ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we discuss the Tooth Fairy rates (in this economy!?), Gavin needs affirmation, David (barely) runs for the school board, we have another &#34;what would you do?,&#34; we rank the top 3 best TV parents, and this week we are joined by comedian and fellow ginger Kurt Braunohler who walks us through his career, how it&apos;s changed since getting married and having kids, and why his kids also won&apos;t put on their shoes. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast Watch Kurt&apos;s special here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpyUhUVNLs&#38;t=1030s 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 It he was so bored and over it, like just you know, just somebody at a massage parlor jerking yeah. David: 0:10 Is this how you wanna end this episode, Gavin? And this is Gatriarchs. So I feel like my husband and I are on the same page about 99.9% of parenting, which is really great. That&#39;s yeah, we&#39;re really lu]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-therapist-jamie-boulding-bridges/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 23 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is another year younger, we decide who is who in Modern Family, we reveal our family Halloween costumes, we rank the top 3 gifts for kids you don&apos;t know, and this week we are joined by therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges who talks with us about his practice specializing in tough topics like like infidelity, ethical non-monogamy, and fertility challenges, we chat about what being Maltese means, and tackle the toughest challenge of his career: what&apos;s wrong with Gavin. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 What TV parents Who are the three TV parents that you emulate? Let me rephrase that. Who are the three best TV Who are the three parents? This is Gator. David: 0:19 Every episode, I think, oh God, what if we don&#39;t get a cold open? What are we gonna do? And you know what? Every episode you come right through. Gavin: 0:29 Who are the three parents on TV? David: 0:32 Oh, and this is Gateway Art. Gavin: 0:34 Shut up. So my daughter is a big screen watcher. I think we&#39;ve already talked about my constant preoccupation is please get off a screen, right? But she does uh when she switches from her phone to the TV, I like it because at least in sh on TV, there&#39;s a beginning, middle, and end. If she even if she&#39;s watching, you know, insufferable bad Disney teen stuff, which actually doesn&#39;t watch that much. But anyway, recently she&#39;s been mainlining Modern Family, which So good. David: 1:14 Hey, so good. Gavin: 1:14 That&#39;s a good, I mean, when I hear that in the background, it is very hard for me to not sit down and watch with her, which is really fun, right? So the other day they were watching the, she was watching the episode about, I mean, what the show went for seven years, right? So there was some Mother&#39;s Day show, and it&#39;s the one where Cam and Mitch, uh Cam is being um pigeonholed as the mom in the relationship. And every you watch this, you&#39;re like, oh my god, every gay couple goes through this. Like, who&#39;s the mom? And or in some douchey moment, somebody&#39;s like, here, I brought a rose. Which one do I give it to on Mother&#39;s Day? And you&#39;re like, oh geez. And we all have our own reactions to it, right? But Cam&#39;s reaction to it is, of course, very funny. My so I say, I&#39;m laughing out loud at you know, the antics of Cam and Mitch. And my daughter goes, Oh, you are so Cam. And I&#39;m like, How dare you? And then I think, wait a minute, why shouldn&#39;t I be happy to be Cam? David: 2:13 No, you&#39;re Mitchell. You&#39;re Mitchell up and down. Gavin: 2:15 No, no, no, listen. So I wanted to ask you what character, what parent are you in Modern Family? And before you identify it though, let me tell you, you know who I am is the mom. I am absolutely what&#39;s her name? Tyborell&#39;s mom, Claire. Um what&#39;s her name? Claire. Claire. I am absolutely Claire. Claire. 100% Claire. I&#39;m the over organizer, I&#39;m the over freaker outer. I am the one who makes the shit happen. I am that is the character I most identify with. David: 2:44 I didn&#39;t know we were opening it up to all the characters on the show. No, if it was just Mitch and Cam, you&#39;re a Mitch, but no, you are a you are 100% a Claire. Gavin: 2:51 I am 100% Claire. David: 2:52 Yes. I I am I&#39;m Tyberell. Like, I am like the goofy fucking zombie sweet Phil Phil Dumpy. Yeah, no, I&#39;m for sure the Phil Dumpy. Oh, look, we&#39;re married. Look at us. Gavin: 3:06 How cute is that? No wonder this has been such a sensational pleasure and success for us. David: 3:11 We&#39;re so who who are you out there, listener? What what modern family character are you? Please tell us. Um, well, you know what I will tell you is that it is eight days until Halloween. Gavin: 3:24 And not just the Halloween um episodes of Modern Family, right? David: 3:28 No, it&#39;s Halloween Halloween. Typically, even though we&#39;re recording this uh ahead of time, today is my birthday. Happy birthday for me. Gavin: 3:37 Happy future birthday to you, David. David: 3:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And listen, it&#39;s my last year in my 20s. I want to make it good. Do you know what I mean? Like I want to make sure that everything is going on. Go out with a bang. Go out with a bang. Um, no, it&#39;s eight days until Halloween, and I thought, let&#39;s talk about what our kids are going as. And also just like, I I love Halloween. It&#39;s my it&#39;s it&#39;s you, it&#39;s it really is this it&#39;s a second to Christmas, but it is a very close second. Gavin: 4:01 So you are home goods just their dream customer. David: 4:06 Yep, lip, blah, blah. Um, gather. You don&#39;t have gather, you know, all that shit. Um, so my my five-year-old son um has gone through a couple of phases. He has settled on Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony. Gavin: 4:17 Oh my god, Rainbow Dash. God, I want to be I want to be the six foot two Rainbow Dash. David: 4:23 Yes. Gavin: 4:23 And Rainbow Dash is technically identifies as a male. Okay. Boy, right. David: 4:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um and then, and then uh my daughter is going as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. And that is that is a we have manhandled that into her. She was like, No, I want to be an astronaut. You were like, You&#39;re gonna be Dorothy, because we already bought it. Because there was a phase where she&#39;s like, I want to be Dorothy. We said, Great, we&#39;ll buy the shoes, we&#39;ll buy the dress. And now she&#39;s like, Well, what about an astronaut? I was like, Girls aren&#39;t astronauts. Um, but what about your kids? You know what they&#39;re going as? Gavin: 4:52 Yes, thank goodness. As always, we are going with the um we have a theme going in our family where my son is super, super creative with his ideas, and then my daughter wants to do twin, like she wants to dress up with her friend. Last year they were mustard and ketchup. This year, I believe they were going to be hamburgers and hot dogs. And luckily, they are um store-bought costumes from Target. Thank goodness. So that makes it a lot easier. Not exactly like what is it, Katy Perry or Taylor Swift at the end of the um calm down video. Remember where she and Katy Perry hug at the end of the video. Okay. David: 5:31 I didn&#39;t, I did not watch that video. Was that on MTV in the 90s? No, no, no, I didn&#39;t see it. Gavin: 5:36 Fuck off. And then my son wants to be a stop sign. Oh, that&#39;s creative. How is he gonna is he gonna build it himself or do he yeah? We are gonna build it. I I so last year he was a basketball hoop. Do you maybe remember that? It was a backpot backpack. David: 5:51 His brain is in a totally different place. Absolutely. Gavin: 5:53 We built a backpack, the uh basketball hoop was up and over his head, and he wanted people to throw the candy up into the basket, and he wanted to get it. I love that. I love that. So he&#39;s he basically wants the same design. He wants it up and over his head, and I&#39;m like, well, okay. I mean, that&#39;s basically the same thing you were last year, which is fine because it&#39;s still unique and creative and um and whatnot. But I was like, why don&#39;t we make your head the stop sign or your whole body? Anyway, um, needless to say, it&#39;s eight days out, and I won&#39;t be actually building this thing for another six days. David: 6:23 So of course, you know, in true Claire fashion. You&#39;re gonna panic at the end and try to overthink and overstrategize. Okay, Phil. Yeah, I know. Um, no, I I am very excited. I love Halloween so much because it&#39;s creative, it&#39;s dark, it&#39;s funny, it&#39;s there&#39;s candy, it&#39;s all kinds of stuff. But one of the things I do every year in my yard, I have a tiny yard. It&#39;s like 10 by 10. It is a 10 by the five. Gavin: 6:46 Which, if you don&#39;t mow, you get the neighborhood comes out for you. Correct. David: 6:50 If you&#39;ve listened to that episode, yes, they&#39;ll come, they&#39;ll come after you. Gavin: 6:52 Even for your tiny ass um my tiny ass postage stamp. David: 6:56 Um, and for those children out there, a postage stamp is something you put on letter. Anyway, so every year I build something new in the front yard as my decoration. I am not an inflatable, I am not a repeat the same thing from last year. It doesn&#39;t have to be extravagant, but it is a different theme. And also it&#39;s gotta have a story, it&#39;s gotta have a point of view. Of course. You know, like you know, one year I did the standard like skeletons crawling up the house. I&#39;ve done all kinds of stuff. I did dolls um coming out uh uh of the roof, carrying a body. That was a couple years ago. Gavin: 7:24 Does this mean you had a bunch of dolls on hand that you could just put on on? David: 7:28 I spent an entire year sourcing dolls, and then I had some of my friends come over. Uh, one of our list, two of our listener of the show, uh, they came over and they painted that we had a doll painting party and we painted like fangs and blood and we ripped them up or whatever. And then I literally staged them in the yard as if they were all in a line carrying bodies out of the house. If you guys go to my personal Instagram at David Fm Bond, you&#39;ll see all of these photos um as you go. But this year, I was like one year I had like uh a giant squid bursting out of the ground and holding a mad scientist in the air. This year I went really simple and I have four like Dementor kind of guys. They&#39;re kind of like look like cult leaders in like big hoods and cloaks, but they&#39;re all like six eight and they&#39;re all like you know, black faces or whatever. Anyway, and I have them lit really cool. I have two fog machines going at separate intervals. Wow. And I&#39;m and I&#39;m finishing up yesterday and I&#39;m just about to go get my kids, and my neighbor opens the door from across the street and she yells out, I love, I love it. It looks amazing. It&#39;s my favorite one this year. And the wife came out and she&#39;s like, It is amazing. I sent a picture already to my friend to make one of herself. Gavin, I&#39;ve never been so high. I&#39;ve never been higher in my life than when the neighbors said they&#39;re taking photos of my Halloween display and sending it to their friends and sending it to their neighbor their people. And I have I&#39;ve seen people walk by and take photos. It is the greatest compliment. Anyway, so I&#39;m so gratifying about it. Yeah, it&#39;s so gratifying. Gavin: 8:58 Congrats, it&#39;s amazing. David: 8:59 This is also the year of school photos, or the time of year when we do school photos. Welcome. Gavin: 9:04 Uh yes. David: 9:05 I first of all, I know our school, and maybe this is your school too, is like, hey, school photos are let&#39;s say Friday. If you pay by Wednesday, you get a discount. And they&#39;re pushing us to buy the photo package before I&#39;ve seen them. They don&#39;t know that I know my children, and they don&#39;t smile for photos. It looks like a prison photo. And so I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not paying$140 before I see the photo. Wow,$140. Well, that&#39;s like the mega package or whatever. But are you getting a mega package? That is so first year. We have never, yeah, we&#39;ve never bought a single package. We have only taken photos of the previews. That is because they&#39;re all terrible photos. They&#39;re all terrible. They&#39;re all terrible photos. Gavin: 9:50 And the packages are so inconvenient and terrible. And nobody, you either get no eight by tens or six eight by tens, and nobody needs six eight by tens, but anyway. David: 9:59 Or wallets like people have those anymore. Gavin: 10:01 Wallets, right? David: 10:01 Yeah. Gavin: 10:02 Oh, this, and so this is the time of year that you lie to yourselves that this is who we are every year. But I have to say, I love a bad school photo. I mean, and thank goodness now we, you know, with social media, we look back at all terrible school photos and we love them and celebrate them and everything. But it&#39;s kind of like my uh when my daughter took her very first picture with Santa, she was screaming through it and crying. And it was a thank God, a friend of mine said, No, no, that&#39;s amazing. Like, yeah, that&#39;s the photo you want. That&#39;s true. And I have stopped trying to dress my kids up like it&#39;s their quinceneera for uh photo day. And I&#39;m like, just what I care about is you getting something that is representative of your year. I don&#39;t care. I want you to just look like you look right now, not like you&#39;ve, you know, spit in your hand and slicked your hair down in an unnatural way, because that&#39;s just not who you are, you know. So you&#39;re right. David: 10:49 It is hard not to be like, because we my son and I had a huge fight that morning that he refused to wear a collared shirt. I said, This is one day a year that I want you to look nice. Please wear a collared shirt. But it&#39;s not silly, but this is not representative of him. He should be wearing the ripped handmade rainbow shirt that he wears every other day. Yeah. And I should have just, yeah, no, yeah. Gavin: 11:11 That should be the shirt he should wear. So next year, live and learn, live and learn. David: 11:14 For the first time in 84 episodes, you&#39;re right, Gabriel. Um, the last thing I want to talk about before we move on to the data. Oh my God, another? I know, but wait. So I&#39;m experiencing bus stop culture for the first time because we, you know, my kids have been in daycare. So now that they&#39;re going to school, or my my son&#39;s going to school, he goes on a bus. And so we go to the bus stop. And at the bus stop, the kids get there and they play in the park, but the parents are there. Can I tell you how obsessed, obsessed I am with watching the fashion of the parents at the bus stop slowly devolve over time. Because day one, day two, we&#39;re showered, we&#39;re we got makeup on, yeah, we got heels. We&#39;re beautiful. Uh-huh. When I tell you the goblins and ghouls who show up to this bus stop now, all in yoga pants, whatever they see barely, barely yoga pants, stains. They just look hungover, they look horrific. I was like, these are my people. These pairs, these goblins just hanging around, like, please take my kid to school so I can go home and go back to sleep. Gavin: 12:16 Yeah. That&#39;s hilarious. Yes. It eventually, and it just imagine by the end of the year. I mean, it it will it basically basically just be slippers and a bathrobe, or do people do that? What is it? That&#39;s 1997. David: 12:29 No, no, but like it is slippers and a bathrobe now. There was a girl today wearing clearly her husband&#39;s like pajama pants. She was wearing like Ug boots and an over like a ridiculously oversized zipper hoodie, and then her hair was up in a messy bun, and you could just tell she just wanted to die. Gavin: 12:46 You don&#39;t think she was cultivating that look though? I feel like that is a that&#39;s a look. I mean, first of all, my daughter only wears basically my pajama pants, if I actually had my pajama pants, and Uggs, and an oversized sweatshirt, and a messy bun. Like that&#39;s she&#39;s nailing that. I think she knows exactly what she&#39;s doing. David: 13:04 Yeah, maybe. I I should take, I should, I should maybe rethink that because maybe this is the fashion that I don&#39;t understand. Gavin: 13:09 Right. Get with the program. So it seems like this is actually what you&#39;re talking about, the people showing up at the bus stop. Um, that&#39;s a hack for, you know, like having high fashion, but really pretending you&#39;re not trying too hard. There&#39;s a hack right there. Maybe all of teen uh uh fashion is a hack right now. What? David: 13:28 Not your best transition. Gavin: 13:29 Okay. David: 13:30 Do you want to read? Do you want to read that? Gavin: 13:31 I have I have a colleague right now who has a very young kid, and she was frustrated because she couldn&#39;t figure out what toy her little toddler wanted...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is another year younger, we decide who is who in Modern Family, we reveal our family Halloween costumes, we rank the top 3 gifts for kids you don&apos;t know, and this week we are joined by therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges who talks with]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is another year younger, we decide who is who in Modern Family, we reveal our family Halloween costumes, we rank the top 3 gifts for kids you don&apos;t know, and this week we are joined by therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges who talks with us about his practice specializing in tough topics like like infidelity, ethical non-monogamy, and fertility challenges, we chat about what being Maltese means, and tackle the toughest challenge of his career: what&apos;s wrong with Gavin. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 What TV parents Who are the three TV parents that you emulate? Let me rephrase that. Who are the three best TV Who are the three parents? This is Gator. David: 0:19 Every episode, I think, oh God, what if we don&#39;t get a cold open? What are we gonna do? And you know what? Every episode you come right through. Gavin: 0:29 Who are the three parents on TV? David: 0:32 Oh, and this is Gateway Art. Gavin: 0:34 Shut up. So my daughter is a big screen watcher. I think we&#39;ve already talked about my constant preoccupation is please get off a screen, right? But she does uh when she switches from her phone to the TV, I like it because at least in sh on TV, there&#39;s a beginning, middle, and end. If she even if she&#39;s watching, you know, insufferable bad Disney teen stuff, which actually doesn&#39;t watch that much. But anyway, recently she&#39;s been mainlining Modern Family, which So good. David: 1:14 Hey, so good. Gavin: 1:14 That&#39;s a good, I mean, when I hear that in the background, it is very hard for me to not sit down and watch with her, which is really fun, right? So the other day they were watching the, she was watching the episode about, I mean, what the show went for seven years, right? So there was some Mother&#39;s Day show, and it&#39;s the one where Cam and Mitch, uh Cam is being um pigeonholed as the mom in the relationship. And every you watch this, you&#39;re like, oh my god, every gay couple goes through this. Like, who&#39;s the mom? And or in some douchey moment, somebody&#39;s like, here, I brought a rose. Which one do I give it to on Mother&#39;s Day? And you&#39;re like, oh geez. And we all have our own reactions to it, right? But Cam&#39;s reaction to it is, of course, very funny. My so I say, I&#39;m laughing out loud at you know, the antics of Cam and Mitch. And my daughter goes, Oh, you are so Cam. And I&#39;m like, How dare you? And then I think, wait a minute, why shouldn&#39;t I be happy to be Cam? David: 2:13 No, you&#39;re Mitchell. You&#39;re Mitchell up and down. Gavin: 2:15 No, no, no, listen. So I wanted to ask you what character, what parent are you in Modern Family? And before you identify it though, let me tell you, you know who I am is the mom. I am absolutely what&#39;s her name? Tyborell&#39;s mom, Claire. Um what&#39;s her name? Claire. Claire. I am absolutely Claire. Claire. 100% Claire. I&#39;m the over organizer, I&#39;m the over freaker outer. I am the one who makes the shit happen. I am that is the character I most identify with. David: 2:44 I didn&#39;t know we were opening it up to all the characters on the show. No, if it was just Mitch and Cam, you&#39;re a Mitch, but no, you are a you are 100% a Claire. Gavin: 2:51 I am 100% Claire. David: 2:52 Yes. I I am I&#39;m Tyberell. Like, I am like the goofy fucking zombie sweet Phil Phil Dumpy. Yeah, no, I&#39;m for sure the Phil Dumpy. Oh, look, we&#39;re married. Look at us. Gavin: 3:06 How cute is that? No wonder this has been such a sensational pleasure and success for us. David: 3:11 We&#39;re so who who are you out there, listener? What what modern family character are you? Please tell us. Um, well, you know what I will tell you is that it is eight days until Halloween. Gavin: 3:24 And not just the Halloween um episodes of Modern Family, right? David: 3:28 No, it&#39;s Halloween Halloween. Typically, even though we&#39;re recording this uh ahead of time, today is my birthday. Happy birthday for me. Gavin: 3:37 Happy future birthday to you, David. David: 3:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And listen, it&#39;s my last year in my 20s. I want to make it good. Do you know what I mean? Like I want to make sure that everything is going on. Go out with a bang. Go out with a bang. Um, no, it&#39;s eight days until Halloween, and I thought, let&#39;s talk about what our kids are going as. And also just like, I I love Halloween. It&#39;s my it&#39;s it&#39;s you, it&#39;s it really is this it&#39;s a second to Christmas, but it is a very close second. Gavin: 4:01 So you are home goods just their dream customer. David: 4:06 Yep, lip, blah, blah. Um, gather. You don&#39;t have gather, you know, all that shit. Um, so my my five-year-old son um has gone through a couple of phases. He has settled on Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony. Gavin: 4:17 Oh my god, Rainbow Dash. God, I want to be I want to be the six foot two Rainbow Dash. David: 4:23 Yes. Gavin: 4:23 And Rainbow Dash is technically identifies as a male. Okay. Boy, right. David: 4:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um and then, and then uh my daughter is going as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. And that is that is a we have manhandled that into her. She was like, No, I want to be an astronaut. You were like, You&#39;re gonna be Dorothy, because we already bought it. Because there was a phase where she&#39;s like, I want to be Dorothy. We said, Great, we&#39;ll buy the shoes, we&#39;ll buy the dress. And now she&#39;s like, Well, what about an astronaut? I was like, Girls aren&#39;t astronauts. Um, but what about your kids? You know what they&#39;re going as? Gavin: 4:52 Yes, thank goodness. As always, we are going with the um we have a theme going in our family where my son is super, super creative with his ideas, and then my daughter wants to do twin, like she wants to dress up with her friend. Last year they were mustard and ketchup. This year, I believe they were going to be hamburgers and hot dogs. And luckily, they are um store-bought costumes from Target. Thank goodness. So that makes it a lot easier. Not exactly like what is it, Katy Perry or Taylor Swift at the end of the um calm down video. Remember where she and Katy Perry hug at the end of the video. Okay. David: 5:31 I didn&#39;t, I did not watch that video. Was that on MTV in the 90s? No, no, no, I didn&#39;t see it. Gavin: 5:36 Fuck off. And then my son wants to be a stop sign. Oh, that&#39;s creative. How is he gonna is he gonna build it himself or do he yeah? We are gonna build it. I I so last year he was a basketball hoop. Do you maybe remember that? It was a backpot backpack. David: 5:51 His brain is in a totally different place. Absolutely. Gavin: 5:53 We built a backpack, the uh basketball hoop was up and over his head, and he wanted people to throw the candy up into the basket, and he wanted to get it. I love that. I love that. So he&#39;s he basically wants the same design. He wants it up and over his head, and I&#39;m like, well, okay. I mean, that&#39;s basically the same thing you were last year, which is fine because it&#39;s still unique and creative and um and whatnot. But I was like, why don&#39;t we make your head the stop sign or your whole body? Anyway, um, needless to say, it&#39;s eight days out, and I won&#39;t be actually building this thing for another six days. David: 6:23 So of course, you know, in true Claire fashion. You&#39;re gonna panic at the end and try to overthink and overstrategize. Okay, Phil. Yeah, I know. Um, no, I I am very excited. I love Halloween so much because it&#39;s creative, it&#39;s dark, it&#39;s funny, it&#39;s there&#39;s candy, it&#39;s all kinds of stuff. But one of the things I do every year in my yard, I have a tiny yard. It&#39;s like 10 by 10. It is a 10 by the five. Gavin: 6:46 Which, if you don&#39;t mow, you get the neighborhood comes out for you. Correct. David: 6:50 If you&#39;ve listened to that episode, yes, they&#39;ll come, they&#39;ll come after you. Gavin: 6:52 Even for your tiny ass um my tiny ass postage stamp. David: 6:56 Um, and for those children out there, a postage stamp is something you put on letter. Anyway, so every year I build something new in the front yard as my decoration. I am not an inflatable, I am not a repeat the same thing from last year. It doesn&#39;t have to be extravagant, but it is a different theme. And also it&#39;s gotta have a story, it&#39;s gotta have a point of view. Of course. You know, like you know, one year I did the standard like skeletons crawling up the house. I&#39;ve done all kinds of stuff. I did dolls um coming out uh uh of the roof, carrying a body. That was a couple years ago. Gavin: 7:24 Does this mean you had a bunch of dolls on hand that you could just put on on? David: 7:28 I spent an entire year sourcing dolls, and then I had some of my friends come over. Uh, one of our list, two of our listener of the show, uh, they came over and they painted that we had a doll painting party and we painted like fangs and blood and we ripped them up or whatever. And then I literally staged them in the yard as if they were all in a line carrying bodies out of the house. If you guys go to my personal Instagram at David Fm Bond, you&#39;ll see all of these photos um as you go. But this year, I was like one year I had like uh a giant squid bursting out of the ground and holding a mad scientist in the air. This year I went really simple and I have four like Dementor kind of guys. They&#39;re kind of like look like cult leaders in like big hoods and cloaks, but they&#39;re all like six eight and they&#39;re all like you know, black faces or whatever. Anyway, and I have them lit really cool. I have two fog machines going at separate intervals. Wow. And I&#39;m and I&#39;m finishing up yesterday and I&#39;m just about to go get my kids, and my neighbor opens the door from across the street and she yells out, I love, I love it. It looks amazing. It&#39;s my favorite one this year. And the wife came out and she&#39;s like, It is amazing. I sent a picture already to my friend to make one of herself. Gavin, I&#39;ve never been so high. I&#39;ve never been higher in my life than when the neighbors said they&#39;re taking photos of my Halloween display and sending it to their friends and sending it to their neighbor their people. And I have I&#39;ve seen people walk by and take photos. It is the greatest compliment. Anyway, so I&#39;m so gratifying about it. Yeah, it&#39;s so gratifying. Gavin: 8:58 Congrats, it&#39;s amazing. David: 8:59 This is also the year of school photos, or the time of year when we do school photos. Welcome. Gavin: 9:04 Uh yes. David: 9:05 I first of all, I know our school, and maybe this is your school too, is like, hey, school photos are let&#39;s say Friday. If you pay by Wednesday, you get a discount. And they&#39;re pushing us to buy the photo package before I&#39;ve seen them. They don&#39;t know that I know my children, and they don&#39;t smile for photos. It looks like a prison photo. And so I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not paying$140 before I see the photo. Wow,$140. Well, that&#39;s like the mega package or whatever. But are you getting a mega package? That is so first year. We have never, yeah, we&#39;ve never bought a single package. We have only taken photos of the previews. That is because they&#39;re all terrible photos. They&#39;re all terrible. They&#39;re all terrible photos. Gavin: 9:50 And the packages are so inconvenient and terrible. And nobody, you either get no eight by tens or six eight by tens, and nobody needs six eight by tens, but anyway. David: 9:59 Or wallets like people have those anymore. Gavin: 10:01 Wallets, right? David: 10:01 Yeah. Gavin: 10:02 Oh, this, and so this is the time of year that you lie to yourselves that this is who we are every year. But I have to say, I love a bad school photo. I mean, and thank goodness now we, you know, with social media, we look back at all terrible school photos and we love them and celebrate them and everything. But it&#39;s kind of like my uh when my daughter took her very first picture with Santa, she was screaming through it and crying. And it was a thank God, a friend of mine said, No, no, that&#39;s amazing. Like, yeah, that&#39;s the photo you want. That&#39;s true. And I have stopped trying to dress my kids up like it&#39;s their quinceneera for uh photo day. And I&#39;m like, just what I care about is you getting something that is representative of your year. I don&#39;t care. I want you to just look like you look right now, not like you&#39;ve, you know, spit in your hand and slicked your hair down in an unnatural way, because that&#39;s just not who you are, you know. So you&#39;re right. David: 10:49 It is hard not to be like, because we my son and I had a huge fight that morning that he refused to wear a collared shirt. I said, This is one day a year that I want you to look nice. Please wear a collared shirt. But it&#39;s not silly, but this is not representative of him. He should be wearing the ripped handmade rainbow shirt that he wears every other day. Yeah. And I should have just, yeah, no, yeah. Gavin: 11:11 That should be the shirt he should wear. So next year, live and learn, live and learn. David: 11:14 For the first time in 84 episodes, you&#39;re right, Gabriel. Um, the last thing I want to talk about before we move on to the data. Oh my God, another? I know, but wait. So I&#39;m experiencing bus stop culture for the first time because we, you know, my kids have been in daycare. So now that they&#39;re going to school, or my my son&#39;s going to school, he goes on a bus. And so we go to the bus stop. And at the bus stop, the kids get there and they play in the park, but the parents are there. Can I tell you how obsessed, obsessed I am with watching the fashion of the parents at the bus stop slowly devolve over time. Because day one, day two, we&#39;re showered, we&#39;re we got makeup on, yeah, we got heels. We&#39;re beautiful. Uh-huh. When I tell you the goblins and ghouls who show up to this bus stop now, all in yoga pants, whatever they see barely, barely yoga pants, stains. They just look hungover, they look horrific. I was like, these are my people. These pairs, these goblins just hanging around, like, please take my kid to school so I can go home and go back to sleep. Gavin: 12:16 Yeah. That&#39;s hilarious. Yes. It eventually, and it just imagine by the end of the year. I mean, it it will it basically basically just be slippers and a bathrobe, or do people do that? What is it? That&#39;s 1997. David: 12:29 No, no, but like it is slippers and a bathrobe now. There was a girl today wearing clearly her husband&#39;s like pajama pants. She was wearing like Ug boots and an over like a ridiculously oversized zipper hoodie, and then her hair was up in a messy bun, and you could just tell she just wanted to die. Gavin: 12:46 You don&#39;t think she was cultivating that look though? I feel like that is a that&#39;s a look. I mean, first of all, my daughter only wears basically my pajama pants, if I actually had my pajama pants, and Uggs, and an oversized sweatshirt, and a messy bun. Like that&#39;s she&#39;s nailing that. I think she knows exactly what she&#39;s doing. David: 13:04 Yeah, maybe. I I should take, I should, I should maybe rethink that because maybe this is the fashion that I don&#39;t understand. Gavin: 13:09 Right. Get with the program. So it seems like this is actually what you&#39;re talking about, the people showing up at the bus stop. Um, that&#39;s a hack for, you know, like having high fashion, but really pretending you&#39;re not trying too hard. There&#39;s a hack right there. Maybe all of teen uh uh fashion is a hack right now. What? David: 13:28 Not your best transition. Gavin: 13:29 Okay. David: 13:30 Do you want to read? Do you want to read that? Gavin: 13:31 I have I have a colleague right now who has a very young kid, and she was frustrated because she couldn&#39;t figure out what toy her little toddler wanted...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is another year younger, we decide who is who in Modern Family, we reveal our family Halloween costumes, we rank the top 3 gifts for kids you don&apos;t know, and this week we are joined by therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges who talks with us about his practice specializing in tough topics like like infidelity, ethical non-monogamy, and fertility challenges, we chat about what being Maltese means, and tackle the toughest challenge of his career: what&apos;s wrong with Gavin. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 What TV parents Who are the three TV parents that you emulate? Let me rephrase that. Who are the three best TV Who are the three parents? This is Gator. David: 0:19 Every episode, I think, oh God, what if we don&#39;t get a cold open? What are we gonna do? And you know what? Every episode you come right through. Gavin: 0:29 Who are the three parents on TV? David: 0:32 Oh, and this is Gateway Art. Gavin: 0:34 Shut up. So my daughter is a big screen watcher. I think we&#39;ve already talked about my constant preoccupation is please get off a screen, right? But she does uh when she switches from her phone to the TV, I like it because at least in sh on TV, there&#39;s a beginning, middle, and end. If she even if she&#39;s watching, you know, insufferable bad Disney teen stuff, which actually doesn&#39;t watch that much. But anyway, recently she&#39;s been mainlining Modern Family, which So good. David: 1:14 Hey, so good. Gavin: 1:14 That&#39;s a good, I mean, when I hear that in the background, it is very hard for me to not sit down and watch with her, which is really fun, right? So the other day they were watching the, she was watching the episode about, I mean, what the show went for seven years, right? So there was some Mother&#39;s Day show, and it&#39;s the one where Cam and Mitch, uh Cam is being um pigeonholed as the mom in the relationship. And every you watch this, you&#39;re like, oh my god, every gay couple goes through this. Like, who&#39;s the mom? And or in some douchey moment, somebody&#39;s like, here, I brought a rose. Which one do I give it to on Mother&#39;s Day? And you&#39;re like, oh geez. And we all have our own reactions to it, right? But Cam&#39;s reaction to it is, of course, very funny. My so I say, I&#39;m laughing out loud at you know, the antics of Cam and Mitch. And my daughter goes, Oh, you are so Cam. And I&#39;m like, How dare you? And then I think, wait a minute, why shouldn&#39;t I be happy to be Cam? David: 2:13 No, you&#39;re Mitchell. You&#39;re Mitchell up and down. Gavin: 2:15 No, no, no, listen. So I wanted to ask you what character, what parent are you in Modern Family? And before you identify it though, let me tell you, you know who I am is the mom. I am absolutely what&#39;s her name? Tyborell&#39;s mom, Claire. Um what&#39;s her name? Claire. Claire. I am absolutely Claire. Claire. 100% Claire. I&#39;m the over organizer, I&#39;m the over freaker outer. I am the one who makes the shit happen. I am that is the character I most identify with. David: 2:44 I didn&#39;t know we were opening it up to all the characters on the show. No, if it was just Mitch and Cam, you&#39;re a Mitch, but no, you are a you are 100% a Claire. Gavin: 2:51 I am 100% Claire. David: 2:52 Yes. I I am I&#39;m Tyberell. Like, I am like the goofy fucking zombie sweet Phil Phil Dumpy. Yeah, no, I&#39;m for sure the Phil Dumpy. Oh, look, we&#39;re married. Look at us. Gavin: 3:06 How cute is that? No wonder this has been such a sensational pleasure and success for us. David: 3:11 We&#39;re so who who are you out there, listener? What what modern family character are you? Please tell us. Um, well, you know what I will tell you is that it is eight days until Halloween. Gavin: 3:24 And not just the Halloween um episodes of Modern Family, right? David: 3:28 No, it&#39;s Halloween Ha]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is another year younger, we decide who is who in Modern Family, we reveal our family Halloween costumes, we rank the top 3 gifts for kids you don&apos;t know, and this week we are joined by therapist Jamie Boulding-Bridges who talks with us about his practice specializing in tough topics like like infidelity, ethical non-monogamy, and fertility challenges, we chat about what being Maltese means, and tackle the toughest challenge of his career: what&apos;s wrong with Gavin. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 What TV parents Who are the three TV parents that you emulate? Let me rephrase that. Who are the three best TV Who are the three parents? This is Gator. David: 0:19 Every episode, I think, oh God, what if we don&#39;t get a cold open? What are we gonna do? And you know what? Every episode you come right through. Gavin: 0:29 Who are the three par]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one where David cursed on the radio!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-where-david-cursed-on-the-radio/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 16 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we bring you a special interview David &#38; Gavin did for the KNON Lambda Weekly radio show hosted by David Taffet and Lerone Landis. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_07: 0:00 So David, I know that you&#39;d love to talk about yourself. We realized we weren&#39;t being uh prompted to talk about ourselves enough. Um do you recall a few months ago, you said I wrote a press release to get some pressed. And you were like, I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s the way to do it. But hey, I wrote a press release with a really catchy subject line, something like we 69 and nobody cares. And guess what? Somebody did care. SPEAKER_06: 0:36 It&#39;s a lot of nerf. And they run the Lambda Weekly Radio Show in Texas that they invited us to be on their show. SPEAKER_07: 0:43 So they care that we did 69 episodes. So it was so fun actually to talk to a couple of guys who have been running a very long-term. I mean, after you make a radio show, we thought we would share this radio episode with you where we were the interviewees, not the interviewers. SPEAKER_06: 1:04 The one thing I want to say is that we because of delayed the format. They were in their studio on their beautiful night. We had to call in on our iPhones. So we still like a bunch of fucking assholes driving a buiclip saber. SPEAKER_07: 1:21 I was sitting in a beautiful saber in a parking lot during a soccer game because I might add, we had to record this on a Sunday afternoon at 2 p.m. And I mean, I I was thrilled to be there, but I was in a car the whole time. SPEAKER_06: 1:33 Anyway, so without further uh ado, aka Gabin&#39;s endless stories. Um let&#39;s uh play it. We&#39;ll play it for you. It&#39;s the whole hour. Um that&#39;s gonna be our little special episode this week. We want to thank uh David Taffitt and Lauron Landis for inviting us on the show. SPEAKER_04: 1:47 And thanks guys! Here it is. SPEAKER_08: 1:49 Um, and good afternoon, and welcome to Lambda Weekly. I&#39;m Dave Taffitt here in the studio with Laurent Landis. Patty has the weekend off, she&#39;s celebrating my birthday. SPEAKER_09: 2:13 And it is David&#39;s birthday, indeed. So happy birthday. SPEAKER_08: 2:16 Well, thank you. Um I was at my aunt&#39;s house in Florida this week, and she got me a cake that said happy 49th birthday, David. That&#39;s so sweet of her. Uh-huh. Our guests today are uh David F. M. Vaughn and Gavin Lodge. They are gay besties who are the podcasters of a um a podcast called The Gatriarchs. Uh they sent a uh press release that I had gotten earlier this summer, and uh it said uh the podcast, the Gatriarchs podcast records its 69th episode, and nobody really cares. Well, we do. So welcome. SPEAKER_07: 3:01 So glad that you cared about our demeaning sense of humor there to just get anybody&#39;s attention with a press release. But it works. SPEAKER_08: 3:10 It does work. It does work. Um what I liked about your style was uh you describe yourselves as irreverent, inspirational, and accidentally informative. And I said, Oh, they&#39;d fit in our show perfectly. You really would. SPEAKER_06: 3:28 We make it a point to try every episode not to be helpful whatsoever. Sometimes we fail at that, but in general, we aim to be totally forgettable. SPEAKER_09: 3:38 So, how how did you all come up with the name Gatriarchs? It&#39;s not matriarchs or patriarchs, it&#39;s gatriarchs. SPEAKER_06: 3:45 Exactly. Yeah, my what my husband actually came up with. Um this is you know, radio though who&#39;s talking. SPEAKER_02: 3:51 Right. SPEAKER_06: 3:51 Um, yeah, my it initially when I came up with the idea, um, I had many very, very terrible ideas, and my very smart uh marketing husband was like, well, what about gatriarchs? And it was like, oh yeah, that&#39;s for sure. SPEAKER_07: 4:04 Yeah, that was a very quick discussion. I mean, David and I agree on nothing, but we definitely thought that gatriarchs was a name that we could settle on peacefully. So uh that and thank God David married up to a much more creative, funny uh husband. And um, so yeah, um, hope you&#39;re listening here, Brian, by the way. Shout out. SPEAKER_08: 4:25 Well, if he isn&#39;t, he can listen to our podcast, which uh is on KNON.org. Uh your podcasts are uh in the same place that you find podcasts for Barack Obama, I&#39;m impressed. SPEAKER_07: 4:40 That&#39;s exactly right. I mean, we have the lowest common denominator of humor, but the highest common denominator of uh podcast posts, yes. And may I just add that um uh David is really the the mind behind all of this. He called me one time and was just like, hey, I think we should just like do a podcast and make it funny and complain about our kids. What do you think? And I was like, I&#39;m down as long as I don&#39;t have to do any work. So I&#39;ll let David tell some more of our origin story right there, too. SPEAKER_09: 5:09 Okay, David. SPEAKER_06: 5:12 Yeah. Um obviously uh uh you&#39;re an excellent at me up for things that you can hear. Um no, but I you know when I became a gay dad, uh listen when I became a dad, I was gay, so you know, tied uh tied penning ten. SPEAKER_08: 5:25 So you weren&#39;t a straight guy who&#39;s decided to become a gay dad. SPEAKER_06: 5:31 You what? SPEAKER_08: 5:32 You were not a straight guy who decided to become a gay dad. SPEAKER_06: 5:36 Well, I yeah, I&#39;m still flirting with the idea of straightness, but it hasn&#39;t happened yet. And the rest of my identity just totally disappear. And I looked at like gay dads online, and they were all rich, they all had Tic Tac ads, and they all could afford these super high-end photo shoots every couple of months on the shores of Mal. And I was like, wait a minute, that&#39;s that&#39;s not the experience I&#39;m having. Let me try to find some funny gay dad content, either in media or a podcast or whatever. Um, and it just flat out did not exist. Um, there was a couple gay dads in the podcasting world that was all very serious. It was about, you know, surrogacy and IVDF and all that stuff. And I was like, can we just laugh at each other? Can we first? Can we talk about tech? Can we talk about our live streams and also talk about how parenting is cool or not cool? And so I was like, you know what? Let&#39;s make a trade like that. Let&#39;s make a show that is comedy first. Say this to Gavin every time we&#39;re working on every episode. It&#39;s like, what is the funny angle on this? We don&#39;t need to change lives. We hope to never change anyone&#39;s lives. We just hope we laugh for about 45 minutes a week. SPEAKER_07: 6:53 Well, I Yeah, that is if I may jump in there, it&#39;s completely true that David does do a really good job of saying to me, now wait, Gavin, do you have anything funny to bring to the show? And I have to say, but David, I&#39;m tall. SPEAKER_06: 7:06 So we always say like I&#39;m funny and Gavin is tall. So there you go. SPEAKER_07: 7:12 Then on on that, um, on that line though, of what uh of the genesis behind all of this was is we&#39;re all just we it it&#39;s it&#39;s tough for everybody&#39;s mental health, frankly, to see the fabulosity that is so often gay dads out there, or just parenting in general, where everybody&#39;s like, oh, uh life parenting life should be a pottery barn catalog photo shoot, and everybody should look amazing, and let&#39;s pretend that um parenting is just glamorous all the time, and um and it&#39;s demoralizing to see that all the time. So we&#39;d love to be able to come together and complain uh about our kids, frankly. And listen, let me make the disclaimer, should anybody take this out of context. I love my kids more than oxygen, and I think David loves at least one of his kids more than oxygen. The other is questionable. But I uh but it feels really good to know that you&#39;re not alone in sometimes really being bored out of your epic gord as a parent and being frustrated and fighting with your kids and just thinking, oh my god, why did I do this? Except, of course, we all nobody has any regrets about parenting, but boy, it feels good to just because that&#39;s you complain about them. SPEAKER_08: 8:20 So you each have two kids? SPEAKER_02: 8:24 Yeah. Sorry, David. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we both have two. SPEAKER_07: 8:31 Yeah, and that and that&#39;s enough, and that&#39;s it. That&#39;s it from us. There you go. We both have uh I have um, I um I&#39;m the senior member of the Gatriarchy team, as David never let anybody forget, although I&#39;m just a mere couple of years older. But anyway, I have a uh oh my god, how old are they? Um, eleven. Okay, they&#39;re 11 and 12. Oh, geez. I mean, there&#39;s parenting right there, right? Like I can&#39;t even remember what their ages are anymore, but 11 and soon to be 13-year-olds. So I&#39;ve been flirting with the the tweenhood for a very long time already, and knowing that my daughter is going to be officially a teenager, and I&#39;m like, oh my god, when are these years gonna be over? And also I happen to be sitting at my son&#39;s soccer game watching him play instead of defense like he usually does. So, you know, there&#39;s parenting in a nutshell there. SPEAKER_06: 9:22 And my kids are five and two, so I&#39;m on the other side of the spectrum. So we we kind of cover a nice uh range of ages. SPEAKER_09: 9:29 So did you all become friends before you all had kids or afterwards? SPEAKER_06: 9:35 Well, it&#39;s funny, we Gavin and I joke all the time, we don&#39;t really know each other at all. We not both you know, we both come from the uh the performing world, specifically, you know, Broadway School Theater, and we had known of each other through other friends, we&#39;ve kind of seen each other at audition through the years. We had never done a show together, and we had, I think Gavin and I have said we&#39;ve met twice in person, once for like a lunch just to hang out, and another time he had auditioned for a show I was directing. And so I told him, I think he was a little surprised, and I was like, Yeah, you want to do this? And we had gotten to know each other really well over the podcast. But those first 10, 20 episodes, we didn&#39;t I I barely knew his kid&#39;s name, let alone his name. SPEAKER_09: 10:15 Oh wow. SPEAKER_06: 10:16 Yeah, agreed, agreed entirely. SPEAKER_07: 10:18 And we have mutual friends who brought us together. And it&#39;s the the Broadway community um is actually pretty small, but um, but yeah, we uh became friends through podcasting, really. SPEAKER_09: 10:29 Well, you know, it&#39;s interesting because um I I&#39;m a gay dad, and I totally related what you just said earlier that you know not all gay dads have six spec abs and can afford a high-end uh photo shoot every other month. That&#39;s completely mean. Leron used to used to, but you know, having a baby when he was pregnant, it it ruins your figure. And so um but you know, I the interesting thing about you all having a podcast about this is I don&#39;t know if you found this, but being a dad, being a gay dad, it&#39;s somewhat isolating because most of your friends, your other gay friends, do not have uh children. And trying to fit into other circles or spaces of parents, it&#39;s not always um I don&#39;t want to say welcoming, sometimes it&#39;s not welcoming, but it&#39;s just not the same. But at least you have each other to balance your issues off of. I mean, has that been the case? SPEAKER_07: 11:26 Yeah, that&#39;s absolutely true. I mean, I I personally I didn&#39;t necessarily find that gay friends um uh didn&#39;t want to hang out, but I would say that you&#39;re in a different circle of friendship, that&#39;s for sure, because you&#39;re suddenly finding yourself in friendships with people on the playground, whatever their identities may be. But it is true that you gotta say no to being able to hit the club. Not that I ever really hit the club, but it isn&#39;t just you&#39;re in a completely different lifestyle, and so friends without kids, be they gay or straight, are living a different life. And you that cliche becomes true that um you can&#39;t sorry, I can&#39;t go out tonight because I have to be up early with the kid. SPEAKER_06: 12:07 Right. I actually had I actually had a gay, a very close gay friend. Like we&#39;re talking like if I had my friend serve top by, top by uh gay friend, uh, and he, you know, I was excited to tell him that we were pregnant for the first time. And as soon as I told him the first words out of his mouth were was, Oh no. I said, What what? And he goes, We&#39;re never gonna hang out anymore. SPEAKER_02: 12:28 And he wasn&#39;t being funny. SPEAKER_06: 12:30 He he was anticipating me being busy, and I think also the cultural change that you were just talking about of gay culture is very much not, you know, child culture um kind of uh separating us. And uh I I have very much uh experienced that. And I and I&#39;m gonna some of it is on us, right, as parents. We are too busy, we get too tired to reach out to people. But I think some of it is on the people who are childless, not thinking that we can still go out or hang out. We just maybe need more than five seconds heads up before we take lunch and absolutely like we need a little bit of time to spend all up with a sitter. But I am so thankful and gener uh uh to friends who reach out and say, hey, do you want to hang out this week? And I&#39;m like, yes, yes, yes. Let me just get a sitter and I&#39;m there. SPEAKER_09: 13:14 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you&#39;re absolutely right. You know, you just give us a little time to prepare, and we can usually do it. If that me means getting a babysitter or uh one partner staying home and the other one going out to have some free time, that&#39;s what it means. But we can usually do things. SPEAKER_08: 13:32 Now you&#39;re both married. unknown: 13:36 Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 13:37 I know. SPEAKER_07: 13:38 It&#39;s yeah. SPEAKER_09: 13:40 I was gonna say, isn&#39;t it? Yes or no? SPEAKER_07: 13:43 I&#39;ve actually, well, funny enough, what he&#39;s referring to is I&#39;ve been with my partner for 20 years. And admittedly, when we were on our baby moon when my first child was um in utero, we uh we went through surrogacy. Um, I did actually pop the question to my uh my partner to say, hey, let&#39;s uh let&#39;s steal the deal. And then honestly, we got distracted. And for 10 years now, I suppose we kind of tap danced around the topic. This is absolutely sharing way too much dirty laundry. But we um sometimes, well, I mean, we&#39;re kind of watching some of our friends get divorced, and occasionally, I mean, also I live in New England, and uh in New England, you just don&#39;t discuss tough topics, you just kind of sweep it under the rug and you keep living your life. And I have to say, you know, it works for us. We have put all of the financial um uh uh necessities in place to make sure that both kids are completely covered. We are um civil, uh, what&#39;s it called? Uh civil civil civil united. Thank you, whatever it is, from the great state of New York on some certificate. But we&#39;ve just never gone about having a big ass party inviting all of our friends, which I kind of do. We hope I hope we get to do that at some point, so it&#39;s just not my funeral that something like that happens. But anyway, you know, to each his own, and I happen not to be married, but David actually is. SPEAKER_08: 15:05 And one reason I ask is that when LaRon was talking about having a kid, um Patty and I, who we don&#39;t have the parenting genes at all. Uh, but one thing that we knew was that Danny and Lauron needed to get married. Now, this was before marriage equality. Gabriella&#39;s 15. SPEAKER_09: 15:25 And we got married two years before she was born. SPEAKER_08: 15:28 So they had to go to Canada to get married, but we were absolutely adamant that he was not going to have a little bastard. SPEAKER_07: 15:40 And well, I mean, it seems like you kind of dodged that, but let me tell you, I definitely have a little bastard. SPEAKER_09: 15:49 Um literally or figurally. SPEAKER_07: 15:54 Well, oh I mean, that&#39;s it. Listen, uh sister, you want...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we bring you a special interview David &#38; Gavin did for the KNON Lambda Weekly radio show hosted by David Taffet and Lerone Landis. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @Gay]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we bring you a special interview David &#38; Gavin did for the KNON Lambda Weekly radio show hosted by David Taffet and Lerone Landis. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_07: 0:00 So David, I know that you&#39;d love to talk about yourself. We realized we weren&#39;t being uh prompted to talk about ourselves enough. Um do you recall a few months ago, you said I wrote a press release to get some pressed. And you were like, I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s the way to do it. But hey, I wrote a press release with a really catchy subject line, something like we 69 and nobody cares. And guess what? Somebody did care. SPEAKER_06: 0:36 It&#39;s a lot of nerf. And they run the Lambda Weekly Radio Show in Texas that they invited us to be on their show. SPEAKER_07: 0:43 So they care that we did 69 episodes. So it was so fun actually to talk to a couple of guys who have been running a very long-term. I mean, after you make a radio show, we thought we would share this radio episode with you where we were the interviewees, not the interviewers. SPEAKER_06: 1:04 The one thing I want to say is that we because of delayed the format. They were in their studio on their beautiful night. We had to call in on our iPhones. So we still like a bunch of fucking assholes driving a buiclip saber. SPEAKER_07: 1:21 I was sitting in a beautiful saber in a parking lot during a soccer game because I might add, we had to record this on a Sunday afternoon at 2 p.m. And I mean, I I was thrilled to be there, but I was in a car the whole time. SPEAKER_06: 1:33 Anyway, so without further uh ado, aka Gabin&#39;s endless stories. Um let&#39;s uh play it. We&#39;ll play it for you. It&#39;s the whole hour. Um that&#39;s gonna be our little special episode this week. We want to thank uh David Taffitt and Lauron Landis for inviting us on the show. SPEAKER_04: 1:47 And thanks guys! Here it is. SPEAKER_08: 1:49 Um, and good afternoon, and welcome to Lambda Weekly. I&#39;m Dave Taffitt here in the studio with Laurent Landis. Patty has the weekend off, she&#39;s celebrating my birthday. SPEAKER_09: 2:13 And it is David&#39;s birthday, indeed. So happy birthday. SPEAKER_08: 2:16 Well, thank you. Um I was at my aunt&#39;s house in Florida this week, and she got me a cake that said happy 49th birthday, David. That&#39;s so sweet of her. Uh-huh. Our guests today are uh David F. M. Vaughn and Gavin Lodge. They are gay besties who are the podcasters of a um a podcast called The Gatriarchs. Uh they sent a uh press release that I had gotten earlier this summer, and uh it said uh the podcast, the Gatriarchs podcast records its 69th episode, and nobody really cares. Well, we do. So welcome. SPEAKER_07: 3:01 So glad that you cared about our demeaning sense of humor there to just get anybody&#39;s attention with a press release. But it works. SPEAKER_08: 3:10 It does work. It does work. Um what I liked about your style was uh you describe yourselves as irreverent, inspirational, and accidentally informative. And I said, Oh, they&#39;d fit in our show perfectly. You really would. SPEAKER_06: 3:28 We make it a point to try every episode not to be helpful whatsoever. Sometimes we fail at that, but in general, we aim to be totally forgettable. SPEAKER_09: 3:38 So, how how did you all come up with the name Gatriarchs? It&#39;s not matriarchs or patriarchs, it&#39;s gatriarchs. SPEAKER_06: 3:45 Exactly. Yeah, my what my husband actually came up with. Um this is you know, radio though who&#39;s talking. SPEAKER_02: 3:51 Right. SPEAKER_06: 3:51 Um, yeah, my it initially when I came up with the idea, um, I had many very, very terrible ideas, and my very smart uh marketing husband was like, well, what about gatriarchs? And it was like, oh yeah, that&#39;s for sure. SPEAKER_07: 4:04 Yeah, that was a very quick discussion. I mean, David and I agree on nothing, but we definitely thought that gatriarchs was a name that we could settle on peacefully. So uh that and thank God David married up to a much more creative, funny uh husband. And um, so yeah, um, hope you&#39;re listening here, Brian, by the way. Shout out. SPEAKER_08: 4:25 Well, if he isn&#39;t, he can listen to our podcast, which uh is on KNON.org. Uh your podcasts are uh in the same place that you find podcasts for Barack Obama, I&#39;m impressed. SPEAKER_07: 4:40 That&#39;s exactly right. I mean, we have the lowest common denominator of humor, but the highest common denominator of uh podcast posts, yes. And may I just add that um uh David is really the the mind behind all of this. He called me one time and was just like, hey, I think we should just like do a podcast and make it funny and complain about our kids. What do you think? And I was like, I&#39;m down as long as I don&#39;t have to do any work. So I&#39;ll let David tell some more of our origin story right there, too. SPEAKER_09: 5:09 Okay, David. SPEAKER_06: 5:12 Yeah. Um obviously uh uh you&#39;re an excellent at me up for things that you can hear. Um no, but I you know when I became a gay dad, uh listen when I became a dad, I was gay, so you know, tied uh tied penning ten. SPEAKER_08: 5:25 So you weren&#39;t a straight guy who&#39;s decided to become a gay dad. SPEAKER_06: 5:31 You what? SPEAKER_08: 5:32 You were not a straight guy who decided to become a gay dad. SPEAKER_06: 5:36 Well, I yeah, I&#39;m still flirting with the idea of straightness, but it hasn&#39;t happened yet. And the rest of my identity just totally disappear. And I looked at like gay dads online, and they were all rich, they all had Tic Tac ads, and they all could afford these super high-end photo shoots every couple of months on the shores of Mal. And I was like, wait a minute, that&#39;s that&#39;s not the experience I&#39;m having. Let me try to find some funny gay dad content, either in media or a podcast or whatever. Um, and it just flat out did not exist. Um, there was a couple gay dads in the podcasting world that was all very serious. It was about, you know, surrogacy and IVDF and all that stuff. And I was like, can we just laugh at each other? Can we first? Can we talk about tech? Can we talk about our live streams and also talk about how parenting is cool or not cool? And so I was like, you know what? Let&#39;s make a trade like that. Let&#39;s make a show that is comedy first. Say this to Gavin every time we&#39;re working on every episode. It&#39;s like, what is the funny angle on this? We don&#39;t need to change lives. We hope to never change anyone&#39;s lives. We just hope we laugh for about 45 minutes a week. SPEAKER_07: 6:53 Well, I Yeah, that is if I may jump in there, it&#39;s completely true that David does do a really good job of saying to me, now wait, Gavin, do you have anything funny to bring to the show? And I have to say, but David, I&#39;m tall. SPEAKER_06: 7:06 So we always say like I&#39;m funny and Gavin is tall. So there you go. SPEAKER_07: 7:12 Then on on that, um, on that line though, of what uh of the genesis behind all of this was is we&#39;re all just we it it&#39;s it&#39;s tough for everybody&#39;s mental health, frankly, to see the fabulosity that is so often gay dads out there, or just parenting in general, where everybody&#39;s like, oh, uh life parenting life should be a pottery barn catalog photo shoot, and everybody should look amazing, and let&#39;s pretend that um parenting is just glamorous all the time, and um and it&#39;s demoralizing to see that all the time. So we&#39;d love to be able to come together and complain uh about our kids, frankly. And listen, let me make the disclaimer, should anybody take this out of context. I love my kids more than oxygen, and I think David loves at least one of his kids more than oxygen. The other is questionable. But I uh but it feels really good to know that you&#39;re not alone in sometimes really being bored out of your epic gord as a parent and being frustrated and fighting with your kids and just thinking, oh my god, why did I do this? Except, of course, we all nobody has any regrets about parenting, but boy, it feels good to just because that&#39;s you complain about them. SPEAKER_08: 8:20 So you each have two kids? SPEAKER_02: 8:24 Yeah. Sorry, David. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we both have two. SPEAKER_07: 8:31 Yeah, and that and that&#39;s enough, and that&#39;s it. That&#39;s it from us. There you go. We both have uh I have um, I um I&#39;m the senior member of the Gatriarchy team, as David never let anybody forget, although I&#39;m just a mere couple of years older. But anyway, I have a uh oh my god, how old are they? Um, eleven. Okay, they&#39;re 11 and 12. Oh, geez. I mean, there&#39;s parenting right there, right? Like I can&#39;t even remember what their ages are anymore, but 11 and soon to be 13-year-olds. So I&#39;ve been flirting with the the tweenhood for a very long time already, and knowing that my daughter is going to be officially a teenager, and I&#39;m like, oh my god, when are these years gonna be over? And also I happen to be sitting at my son&#39;s soccer game watching him play instead of defense like he usually does. So, you know, there&#39;s parenting in a nutshell there. SPEAKER_06: 9:22 And my kids are five and two, so I&#39;m on the other side of the spectrum. So we we kind of cover a nice uh range of ages. SPEAKER_09: 9:29 So did you all become friends before you all had kids or afterwards? SPEAKER_06: 9:35 Well, it&#39;s funny, we Gavin and I joke all the time, we don&#39;t really know each other at all. We not both you know, we both come from the uh the performing world, specifically, you know, Broadway School Theater, and we had known of each other through other friends, we&#39;ve kind of seen each other at audition through the years. We had never done a show together, and we had, I think Gavin and I have said we&#39;ve met twice in person, once for like a lunch just to hang out, and another time he had auditioned for a show I was directing. And so I told him, I think he was a little surprised, and I was like, Yeah, you want to do this? And we had gotten to know each other really well over the podcast. But those first 10, 20 episodes, we didn&#39;t I I barely knew his kid&#39;s name, let alone his name. SPEAKER_09: 10:15 Oh wow. SPEAKER_06: 10:16 Yeah, agreed, agreed entirely. SPEAKER_07: 10:18 And we have mutual friends who brought us together. And it&#39;s the the Broadway community um is actually pretty small, but um, but yeah, we uh became friends through podcasting, really. SPEAKER_09: 10:29 Well, you know, it&#39;s interesting because um I I&#39;m a gay dad, and I totally related what you just said earlier that you know not all gay dads have six spec abs and can afford a high-end uh photo shoot every other month. That&#39;s completely mean. Leron used to used to, but you know, having a baby when he was pregnant, it it ruins your figure. And so um but you know, I the interesting thing about you all having a podcast about this is I don&#39;t know if you found this, but being a dad, being a gay dad, it&#39;s somewhat isolating because most of your friends, your other gay friends, do not have uh children. And trying to fit into other circles or spaces of parents, it&#39;s not always um I don&#39;t want to say welcoming, sometimes it&#39;s not welcoming, but it&#39;s just not the same. But at least you have each other to balance your issues off of. I mean, has that been the case? SPEAKER_07: 11:26 Yeah, that&#39;s absolutely true. I mean, I I personally I didn&#39;t necessarily find that gay friends um uh didn&#39;t want to hang out, but I would say that you&#39;re in a different circle of friendship, that&#39;s for sure, because you&#39;re suddenly finding yourself in friendships with people on the playground, whatever their identities may be. But it is true that you gotta say no to being able to hit the club. Not that I ever really hit the club, but it isn&#39;t just you&#39;re in a completely different lifestyle, and so friends without kids, be they gay or straight, are living a different life. And you that cliche becomes true that um you can&#39;t sorry, I can&#39;t go out tonight because I have to be up early with the kid. SPEAKER_06: 12:07 Right. I actually had I actually had a gay, a very close gay friend. Like we&#39;re talking like if I had my friend serve top by, top by uh gay friend, uh, and he, you know, I was excited to tell him that we were pregnant for the first time. And as soon as I told him the first words out of his mouth were was, Oh no. I said, What what? And he goes, We&#39;re never gonna hang out anymore. SPEAKER_02: 12:28 And he wasn&#39;t being funny. SPEAKER_06: 12:30 He he was anticipating me being busy, and I think also the cultural change that you were just talking about of gay culture is very much not, you know, child culture um kind of uh separating us. And uh I I have very much uh experienced that. And I and I&#39;m gonna some of it is on us, right, as parents. We are too busy, we get too tired to reach out to people. But I think some of it is on the people who are childless, not thinking that we can still go out or hang out. We just maybe need more than five seconds heads up before we take lunch and absolutely like we need a little bit of time to spend all up with a sitter. But I am so thankful and gener uh uh to friends who reach out and say, hey, do you want to hang out this week? And I&#39;m like, yes, yes, yes. Let me just get a sitter and I&#39;m there. SPEAKER_09: 13:14 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you&#39;re absolutely right. You know, you just give us a little time to prepare, and we can usually do it. If that me means getting a babysitter or uh one partner staying home and the other one going out to have some free time, that&#39;s what it means. But we can usually do things. SPEAKER_08: 13:32 Now you&#39;re both married. unknown: 13:36 Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 13:37 I know. SPEAKER_07: 13:38 It&#39;s yeah. SPEAKER_09: 13:40 I was gonna say, isn&#39;t it? Yes or no? SPEAKER_07: 13:43 I&#39;ve actually, well, funny enough, what he&#39;s referring to is I&#39;ve been with my partner for 20 years. And admittedly, when we were on our baby moon when my first child was um in utero, we uh we went through surrogacy. Um, I did actually pop the question to my uh my partner to say, hey, let&#39;s uh let&#39;s steal the deal. And then honestly, we got distracted. And for 10 years now, I suppose we kind of tap danced around the topic. This is absolutely sharing way too much dirty laundry. But we um sometimes, well, I mean, we&#39;re kind of watching some of our friends get divorced, and occasionally, I mean, also I live in New England, and uh in New England, you just don&#39;t discuss tough topics, you just kind of sweep it under the rug and you keep living your life. And I have to say, you know, it works for us. We have put all of the financial um uh uh necessities in place to make sure that both kids are completely covered. We are um civil, uh, what&#39;s it called? Uh civil civil civil united. Thank you, whatever it is, from the great state of New York on some certificate. But we&#39;ve just never gone about having a big ass party inviting all of our friends, which I kind of do. We hope I hope we get to do that at some point, so it&#39;s just not my funeral that something like that happens. But anyway, you know, to each his own, and I happen not to be married, but David actually is. SPEAKER_08: 15:05 And one reason I ask is that when LaRon was talking about having a kid, um Patty and I, who we don&#39;t have the parenting genes at all. Uh, but one thing that we knew was that Danny and Lauron needed to get married. Now, this was before marriage equality. Gabriella&#39;s 15. SPEAKER_09: 15:25 And we got married two years before she was born. SPEAKER_08: 15:28 So they had to go to Canada to get married, but we were absolutely adamant that he was not going to have a little bastard. SPEAKER_07: 15:40 And well, I mean, it seems like you kind of dodged that, but let me tell you, I definitely have a little bastard. SPEAKER_09: 15:49 Um literally or figurally. SPEAKER_07: 15:54 Well, oh I mean, that&#39;s it. Listen, uh sister, you want...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we bring you a special interview David &#38; Gavin did for the KNON Lambda Weekly radio show hosted by David Taffet and Lerone Landis. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_07: 0:00 So David, I know that you&#39;d love to talk about yourself. We realized we weren&#39;t being uh prompted to talk about ourselves enough. Um do you recall a few months ago, you said I wrote a press release to get some pressed. And you were like, I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s the way to do it. But hey, I wrote a press release with a really catchy subject line, something like we 69 and nobody cares. And guess what? Somebody did care. SPEAKER_06: 0:36 It&#39;s a lot of nerf. And they run the Lambda Weekly Radio Show in Texas that they invited us to be on their show. SPEAKER_07: 0:43 So they care that we did 69 episodes. So it was so fun actually to talk to a couple of guys who have been running a very long-term. I mean, after you make a radio show, we thought we would share this radio episode with you where we were the interviewees, not the interviewers. SPEAKER_06: 1:04 The one thing I want to say is that we because of delayed the format. They were in their studio on their beautiful night. We had to call in on our iPhones. So we still like a bunch of fucking assholes driving a buiclip saber. SPEAKER_07: 1:21 I was sitting in a beautiful saber in a parking lot during a soccer game because I might add, we had to record this on a Sunday afternoon at 2 p.m. And I mean, I I was thrilled to be there, but I was in a car the whole time. SPEAKER_06: 1:33 Anyway, so without further uh ado, aka Gabin&#39;s endless stories. Um let&#39;s uh play it. We&#39;ll play it for you. It&#39;s the whole hour. Um that&#39;s gonna be our little special episode this week. We want to thank uh David Taffitt and Lauron Landis for inviting us on the show. SPEAKER_04: 1:47 And thanks guys! Here it is. SPEAKER_08: 1:49 Um, and good afternoon, and welcome to Lambda Weekly. I&#39;m Dave Taffitt here in the studio with Laurent Landis. Patty has the weekend off, she&#39;s celebrating my birthday. SPEAKER_09: 2:13 And it is David&#39;s birthday, indeed. So happy birthday. SPEAKER_08: 2:16 Well, thank you. Um I was at my aunt&#39;s house in Florida this week, and she got me a cake that said happy 49th birthday, David. That&#39;s so sweet of her. Uh-huh. Our guests today are uh David F. M. Vaughn and Gavin Lodge. They are gay besties who are the podcasters of a um a podcast called The Gatriarchs. Uh they sent a uh press release that I had gotten earlier this summer, and uh it said uh the podcast, the Gatriarchs podcast records its 69th episode, and nobody really cares. Well, we do. So welcome. SPEAKER_07: 3:01 So glad that you cared about our demeaning sense of humor there to just get anybody&#39;s attention with a press release. But it works. SPEAKER_08: 3:10 It does work. It does work. Um what I liked about your style was uh you describe yourselves as irreverent, inspirational, and accidentally informative. And I said, Oh, they&#39;d fit in our show perfectly. You really would. SPEAKER_06: 3:28 We make it a point to try every episode not to be helpful whatsoever. Sometimes we fail at that, but in general, we aim to be totally forgettable. SPEAKER_09: 3:38 So, how how did you all come up with the name Gatriarchs? It&#39;s not matriarchs or patriarchs, it&#39;s gatriarchs. SPEAKER_06: 3:45 Exactly. Yeah, my what my husband actually came up with. Um this is you know, radio though who&#39;s talking. SPEAKER_02: 3:51 Right. SPEAKER_06: 3:51 Um, yeah, my it initially when I came up with the idea, um, I had many very, very terrible ideas, and my very smart uh marketing husband was like, well, what about gatriarchs? And it was like, oh yeah, that&#39;s for sure. SPEAKER_07: 4:04 Yeah, that was a very quick discussion. I mean, David and I agree on nothing, but we definite]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we bring you a special interview David &#38; Gavin did for the KNON Lambda Weekly radio show hosted by David Taffet and Lerone Landis. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_07: 0:00 So David, I know that you&#39;d love to talk about yourself. We realized we weren&#39;t being uh prompted to talk about ourselves enough. Um do you recall a few months ago, you said I wrote a press release to get some pressed. And you were like, I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s the way to do it. But hey, I wrote a press release with a really catchy subject line, something like we 69 and nobody cares. And guess what? Somebody did care. SPEAKER_06: 0:36 It&#39;s a lot of nerf. And they run the Lambda Weekly Radio Show in Texas that they invited us to be on their show. SPEAKER_07: 0:43 So they care that we did 69 episodes. So it was so fun actually to talk to a couple of guys who have been ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Sean Patrick Murtagh</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-sean-patrick-murtagh/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 09 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin gains another ring around his trunk, David goes apple picking, our popular &#34;What would you do?&#34; is back, we rank the top 3 non-Disney animated movies, and this week we are joined by nanny and musical theatre tenor Sean Patrick Murtagh who tells us the story of how he got into nanny&apos;ing, why it didn&apos;t make him want to have kids, and what it&apos;s like to take care of OPK&apos;s in NYC. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um but you know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we went fall You know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we Jesus this is this is your gig to ruin things sorry and this is Gagearks Happy belated birthday Gavin oh shucks I didn&#39;t know you still had any of those left in I I still have so many but let me tell you I um one I&#39;m feeling old but I am not that old yet and two I&#39;ve had back pain for an entire week through my birthday and that is making me feel old but I am pushing through it and still loving life you know but the thing is about my birthday is my daughter was born three days after I after my birthday so we um one of the part of the monstrosity tornadoes of our household is that my partner is a Gemini and I am a Libra so there&#39;s a lot of dueling personalities in the household right Geminis have two and Libras are just you know imbalanced and generally like always seek seeking both halves and then our children are our say well my daughter is also a Libra so there&#39;s essentially four personalities right there between the two of us plus my partner so that&#39;s six personalities and my son is 100% a this is already more astrological work that uh talk that we&#39;re is one of these personalities gonna get to the point I&#39;m just curious he&#39;s a Taurus and so he I don&#39;t even know anything about astral astrology why am I saying this except that he is by far the most grounded member of our family that 100% he&#39;s the he&#39;s the bull on his on his just sitting there watching the rest of us spin out of control anyway bringing it back to birthdays my birthday is absolutely truncated because my daughter barely makes it through my breakfast and is like so now let&#39;s talk about my birthday and so um the way we are recording this is tomorrow I will be the parent of a teenager which is that&#39;s a big big change yeah that&#39;s a big change my uh my husband was born four days after my son so it&#39;s the reverse of you it&#39;s actually worse because it&#39;s all the prep and the buildup and the thought to his birthday and then we&#39;re just kind of recovering they&#39;re like oh yeah happy birthday Brian like it just it it&#39;s just it doesn&#39;t work out um uh I we so a couple weeks ago Gavin and I were asked to be on this radio show and they were just like celebrities because we&#39;re celebrities and they were like hey come on be on the show tell us about your show whatever we&#39;re like great we&#39;ve done this a million times um well have we though I mean they still I mean as as actors and performers and writers and stuff like that. But we didn&#39;t know exactly what we were getting into. David: 2:54 Well okay it was a raid it was a it was a radio interview and so we were like whatever we&#39;ll do a radio interview and we&#39;ll post it at some point as an episode but I just have to admit now because I don&#39;t know what they&#39;re gonna do with it I I just am not used to being live all the time. I&#39;m used to being able to edit and I&#39;m also used to being being able to curse all the time on a podcast because it&#39;s NSFW guys I I said fuck on on FM radio and the guy the host was just like uh we&#39;re a public like he was just like you can&#39;t do that and I was like did I just did I just ruin this so I said fuck on the radio and we&#39;ll we&#39;ll have to we&#39;ll we&#39;ll post it as a as an episode someday but I just had to admit that to everyone to our listener because I was very well I hope I hope that we are able to actually repost that entire episode because it was fun to talk to somebody else um two guys who have been running a very long running um gay radio show in northern Texas and good for them. Gavin: 3:54 I mean talk about pioneers who are you know bringing the word to the people and uh one of them is a parent right yeah one of them is a parent and um but uh so I I would love to be to be able to you know share the wealth and um broadcast them to the entire intra waves and uh our listener. But anyway point being I hope they didn&#39;t bleep it out. David: 4:16 What if they got fined like a million dollars remember like when Janet Jackson showed her titty on TV and everyone got like like got whatever anyway. So I&#39;m embarrassed. So we&#39;ll we&#39;ll have to play that at some point. Usually it&#39;s Gaben ruining things this time I ruined it. What I didn&#39;t ruin this week was we went apple picking slash fall festivaling slash hay riding slash whatever. Gavin: 4:37 All of that. David: 4:38 As you know I&#39;m a basic bitch when it comes to fall. Yes you were I love doing the whole hayride like I love the whole experience. So we were invited by some gay dad friends um to this farm we had never been it was it was a it was a ton of fun we we nice picked the apples that we didn&#39;t need the you know um the last time we had done this actually uh our son was so young and we were doing like a photo show shoot in the field of pumpkins you haven&#39;t done it since then or that you&#39;re saying the first time you did it no no the first time we did it we were in this field of pumpkins and we were doing a photo shoot like as new new gay dad parents as you do so cute and we sat him next to a pumpkin we backed up we taking photos of course and so we stand up after taking these photos and we&#39;re like looking at them and we look over at him and he has grabbed a blue like because it&#39;s rotting and moldy pumpkin and has shoveled the whole thing in his mouth. He&#39;s got blue pumpkin fur all over his mouth and we&#39;re like rotten pumpkin is in his mouth it is in and around his mouth he swallowed it so we run over there like we&#39;re wiping it off his mouth they&#39;re like no no no no no and so we go and we&#39;re like giving him water and he seems fine he&#39;s totally fine and we&#39;re just like oh God we dodged a bullet there. Well wouldn&#39;t you know it we&#39;re driving home we&#39;re on the highway you just hear the you just hear the sound of like this is coming and he just he just explodes. It just explodes so we are that family on the side of the highway with a naked toddler crying and throwing up as we&#39;re trying to figure out because this is before we really were like you need to have wipes in all area within arms reach at that point. Yeah correct and uh we&#39;re just it just cleaning up a a pukey car. Gavin: 6:19 It was horrible and you sit there you&#39;re doing that and you think that people are driving by judging you for being this is what happens when you gave give gays kids totally and then and honestly they were right. David: 6:29 We did it we did we did that so anyway so this time was much better. We had so much fun it was a really great place they had wait um I am not making the connection here you do this every single year because you&#39;re such a basic bitch right you&#39;re just okay we skipped a few years you&#39;ve had good we skipped a few years the first year we did it with a child um and now we&#39;ve since learned our lesson don&#39;t let your children eat blue pumpkins blue pumpkins yeah um but we had a lot of fun with this one that we saw lesbians in the wild which which again we&#39;ve talked about this before in the show but this is a real concern I have is when I witness other gay parents existing I want to like be like I want to like do the secret wave or like right high five I like I want to be like engaged with them be like we&#39;re gay parents you&#39;re gay parents but instead what happens is I stare at them creepily and then they look at me like why is he staring at me and in my mind I&#39;m like oh you get it we&#39;re gay parents and they&#39;re just thinking I need to call the police because this guy is staring at us I want there to be a way where like I can be like hey gay parent I&#39;m a gay parent too without having to like walk over to them and be like you&#39;re gay right right because that would be really there does need to be a secret handshake or just a just a you know sup yeah I suppose uh should we start that should we start what if we start our first contest on Gatriarchs to be like let&#39;s invent the first hand gesture slash head bump head nod excuse me that would signify hey we&#39;re in this together. Gavin: 7:55 But don&#39;t you just I also feel like you look at other gay parents and you&#39;re sizing each other up to think who&#39;s going to be more judgmental or who&#39;s going to be more successful or whose kids are going to be more um no that&#39;s you that&#39;s your baggage you mentioned you talk about like success metrics I have very low expectations for my children. David: 8:11 So it really it gets me through the night if I&#39;m being honest. Gavin: 8:14 Well I love a visit to the pumpkin patch without a doubt. I I do feel like I don&#39;t always consider myself a basic bitch. I do not like pumpkin spice lattes. They&#39;re way too sweet. I did get a free for my birthday at Starbucks and I said could you put half the syrup in please and the woman didn&#39;t know how to register but mix it with my bottle of insure because you know I&#39;m almost 50 and this vodka. And uh it was still really always frankly unappetizing. But um yeah I love going to a pumpkin patch and you know putting on a sweater when it&#39;s actually 83 degrees so I&#39;m sweating my ass off and spending$35 on apples that I could have bought for$4.99 at the grocery store. It&#39;s always so fun. And usually even at this age my kids are like basically terrors out there and they don&#39;t want to take the perfect Christmas shot that I would have hoped to get and somebody ruins it. So yeah. David: 9:07 And so what was that story about just shitting on my dreams and then stop talking? Gavin: 9:11 Is that what that means? But speaking of shitting on dreams and whatnot I this week uh we so we&#39;re you know I have two middle schoolers now and we are having a hard time adjusting to the time honestly my son he&#39;s the one right I got to get my 10 and a 10 and a half hours of sleep which he says not ironically he&#39;s like throws the blanket over his head and it he will go out like a light. I mean he plays a lot a lot a lot of sports and so he burns a lot of energy he burns very very bright and he needs his downtime we have now been such terrible parents over the last couple of weeks that our kid he&#39;s only we&#39;re only a month in he&#39;s already missed a couple of days of school basically because he wakes up on Monday and he&#39;s too exhausted to go. And he&#39;s doing a really good job acting telling us that he has a sore throat or basically he has full blown COVID. And so we buy it and but of course you know I do my regular spiel of you are not going to be on a screen today. So this happened again this week. And um and he definitely did not go on a screen and he just walked around moping feeling sorry for himself the entire day reminding me that um his throat was hurting but then by about one o&#39;clock in the afternoon he did ask can I take the scooter up the road and just go and I&#39;m like again go do what don&#39;t even finish that sentence you&#39;re not going getting on your scooter. No you&#39;re supposed to be in bed reading and having a miserable time. But it&#39;s all my fault like like in all parenting it&#39;s all my fault because I I have because we&#39;re doing too many things frankly and we don&#39;t prioritize like he&#39;s gotta go to bed at 745 now you know he we can&#39;t do nine 915 when he&#39;s getting up at 545. David: 10:42 I mean who can right we do anyway we we we we we do nothing with our children and we put them to bed early that&#39;s that&#39;s that&#39;s the secret to being and you also I mean 945 you&#39;re also falling asleep right but also 945 915 the other night we were watching one of those like two hour episodes of a show that&#39;s normally an hour and all of a sudden I just kind of went why is this what what are we doing I looked at the clock it was like 940 and I literally stood up and I went it&#39;s the middle of the night so I get it I stay up late. Gabin I have a surprise for you you do a first a first here on Gatriarch on episode 83. It&#39;s our first what would you do from me. What would you do? Gavin: 11:27 Please stop please stop only how bad it is only I can butcher that song only I can feign not knowing what it is okay but bring it I love it. David: 11:37 So this happened to me um at the kids playground that we go to all the time and on weekends the ice cream truck will drive up okay and the ice cream truck who just manipulates and exploits but okay okay so we have been having a lot of treats lately and we try to keep it very like one treat a day or if you&#39;re really good or special events and it just has gotten a little out of hand. So we&#39;ve been tightening the reins a little bit and we told them like we&#39;re not gonna get ice cream at the park today we&#39;re just gonna whatever well we had met a bunch of his friends and there was like 10 of them and it was all his old classmates and they&#39;re all having a party and that ice cream truck came up and he ran up to me and he goes can I have ice cream I said no I told you you can he&#39;s like oh and then he walks away and I was like great that&#39;s the interaction right every single one of his friends was getting ice cream and they&#39;d go up to him and be like Emmett come on let&#39;s go get ice cream and he would be like Dad can I please have ice cream and this is where my what would you do comes in because I am trying to hold the line to be like I&#39;m consistent as a parent I said no it&#39;s a no I don&#39;t want to instill that if you just ask me hard enough then you&#39;ll get something because I definitely don&#39;t want that. But also all his friends are having ice cream and they&#39;re all sitting together in the same area of the park having ice cream and laughing and I felt like a piece of fucking shit. Gavin: 12:59 So even I ask you what find new friends find a new playground find any way to prove yourself right and that those people were bad okay I mean no you know what I&#39;ve had a new technique recently um my daughter is obsessed with Starbucks drives me crazy because she doesn&#39;t need to be drinking coffee at this age but it is such a thrill to her but so there have been a couple of times that I anticipated I knew she was going to ask for it and I was like oh yeah totally let&#39;s go get it and she and she is so taken aback by my nonchalance of like yeah of course obviously we need Starbucks that she is she&#39;s disarmed and she&#39;s delighted beyond all measure but also it doesn&#39;t give her a...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin gains another ring around his trunk, David goes apple picking, our popular &#34;What would you do?&#34; is back, we rank the top 3 non-Disney animated movies, and this week we are joined by nanny and musical theatre tenor Sean Patrick Mu]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin gains another ring around his trunk, David goes apple picking, our popular &#34;What would you do?&#34; is back, we rank the top 3 non-Disney animated movies, and this week we are joined by nanny and musical theatre tenor Sean Patrick Murtagh who tells us the story of how he got into nanny&apos;ing, why it didn&apos;t make him want to have kids, and what it&apos;s like to take care of OPK&apos;s in NYC. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um but you know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we went fall You know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we Jesus this is this is your gig to ruin things sorry and this is Gagearks Happy belated birthday Gavin oh shucks I didn&#39;t know you still had any of those left in I I still have so many but let me tell you I um one I&#39;m feeling old but I am not that old yet and two I&#39;ve had back pain for an entire week through my birthday and that is making me feel old but I am pushing through it and still loving life you know but the thing is about my birthday is my daughter was born three days after I after my birthday so we um one of the part of the monstrosity tornadoes of our household is that my partner is a Gemini and I am a Libra so there&#39;s a lot of dueling personalities in the household right Geminis have two and Libras are just you know imbalanced and generally like always seek seeking both halves and then our children are our say well my daughter is also a Libra so there&#39;s essentially four personalities right there between the two of us plus my partner so that&#39;s six personalities and my son is 100% a this is already more astrological work that uh talk that we&#39;re is one of these personalities gonna get to the point I&#39;m just curious he&#39;s a Taurus and so he I don&#39;t even know anything about astral astrology why am I saying this except that he is by far the most grounded member of our family that 100% he&#39;s the he&#39;s the bull on his on his just sitting there watching the rest of us spin out of control anyway bringing it back to birthdays my birthday is absolutely truncated because my daughter barely makes it through my breakfast and is like so now let&#39;s talk about my birthday and so um the way we are recording this is tomorrow I will be the parent of a teenager which is that&#39;s a big big change yeah that&#39;s a big change my uh my husband was born four days after my son so it&#39;s the reverse of you it&#39;s actually worse because it&#39;s all the prep and the buildup and the thought to his birthday and then we&#39;re just kind of recovering they&#39;re like oh yeah happy birthday Brian like it just it it&#39;s just it doesn&#39;t work out um uh I we so a couple weeks ago Gavin and I were asked to be on this radio show and they were just like celebrities because we&#39;re celebrities and they were like hey come on be on the show tell us about your show whatever we&#39;re like great we&#39;ve done this a million times um well have we though I mean they still I mean as as actors and performers and writers and stuff like that. But we didn&#39;t know exactly what we were getting into. David: 2:54 Well okay it was a raid it was a it was a radio interview and so we were like whatever we&#39;ll do a radio interview and we&#39;ll post it at some point as an episode but I just have to admit now because I don&#39;t know what they&#39;re gonna do with it I I just am not used to being live all the time. I&#39;m used to being able to edit and I&#39;m also used to being being able to curse all the time on a podcast because it&#39;s NSFW guys I I said fuck on on FM radio and the guy the host was just like uh we&#39;re a public like he was just like you can&#39;t do that and I was like did I just did I just ruin this so I said fuck on the radio and we&#39;ll we&#39;ll have to we&#39;ll we&#39;ll post it as a as an episode someday but I just had to admit that to everyone to our listener because I was very well I hope I hope that we are able to actually repost that entire episode because it was fun to talk to somebody else um two guys who have been running a very long running um gay radio show in northern Texas and good for them. Gavin: 3:54 I mean talk about pioneers who are you know bringing the word to the people and uh one of them is a parent right yeah one of them is a parent and um but uh so I I would love to be to be able to you know share the wealth and um broadcast them to the entire intra waves and uh our listener. But anyway point being I hope they didn&#39;t bleep it out. David: 4:16 What if they got fined like a million dollars remember like when Janet Jackson showed her titty on TV and everyone got like like got whatever anyway. So I&#39;m embarrassed. So we&#39;ll we&#39;ll have to play that at some point. Usually it&#39;s Gaben ruining things this time I ruined it. What I didn&#39;t ruin this week was we went apple picking slash fall festivaling slash hay riding slash whatever. Gavin: 4:37 All of that. David: 4:38 As you know I&#39;m a basic bitch when it comes to fall. Yes you were I love doing the whole hayride like I love the whole experience. So we were invited by some gay dad friends um to this farm we had never been it was it was a it was a ton of fun we we nice picked the apples that we didn&#39;t need the you know um the last time we had done this actually uh our son was so young and we were doing like a photo show shoot in the field of pumpkins you haven&#39;t done it since then or that you&#39;re saying the first time you did it no no the first time we did it we were in this field of pumpkins and we were doing a photo shoot like as new new gay dad parents as you do so cute and we sat him next to a pumpkin we backed up we taking photos of course and so we stand up after taking these photos and we&#39;re like looking at them and we look over at him and he has grabbed a blue like because it&#39;s rotting and moldy pumpkin and has shoveled the whole thing in his mouth. He&#39;s got blue pumpkin fur all over his mouth and we&#39;re like rotten pumpkin is in his mouth it is in and around his mouth he swallowed it so we run over there like we&#39;re wiping it off his mouth they&#39;re like no no no no no and so we go and we&#39;re like giving him water and he seems fine he&#39;s totally fine and we&#39;re just like oh God we dodged a bullet there. Well wouldn&#39;t you know it we&#39;re driving home we&#39;re on the highway you just hear the you just hear the sound of like this is coming and he just he just explodes. It just explodes so we are that family on the side of the highway with a naked toddler crying and throwing up as we&#39;re trying to figure out because this is before we really were like you need to have wipes in all area within arms reach at that point. Yeah correct and uh we&#39;re just it just cleaning up a a pukey car. Gavin: 6:19 It was horrible and you sit there you&#39;re doing that and you think that people are driving by judging you for being this is what happens when you gave give gays kids totally and then and honestly they were right. David: 6:29 We did it we did we did that so anyway so this time was much better. We had so much fun it was a really great place they had wait um I am not making the connection here you do this every single year because you&#39;re such a basic bitch right you&#39;re just okay we skipped a few years you&#39;ve had good we skipped a few years the first year we did it with a child um and now we&#39;ve since learned our lesson don&#39;t let your children eat blue pumpkins blue pumpkins yeah um but we had a lot of fun with this one that we saw lesbians in the wild which which again we&#39;ve talked about this before in the show but this is a real concern I have is when I witness other gay parents existing I want to like be like I want to like do the secret wave or like right high five I like I want to be like engaged with them be like we&#39;re gay parents you&#39;re gay parents but instead what happens is I stare at them creepily and then they look at me like why is he staring at me and in my mind I&#39;m like oh you get it we&#39;re gay parents and they&#39;re just thinking I need to call the police because this guy is staring at us I want there to be a way where like I can be like hey gay parent I&#39;m a gay parent too without having to like walk over to them and be like you&#39;re gay right right because that would be really there does need to be a secret handshake or just a just a you know sup yeah I suppose uh should we start that should we start what if we start our first contest on Gatriarchs to be like let&#39;s invent the first hand gesture slash head bump head nod excuse me that would signify hey we&#39;re in this together. Gavin: 7:55 But don&#39;t you just I also feel like you look at other gay parents and you&#39;re sizing each other up to think who&#39;s going to be more judgmental or who&#39;s going to be more successful or whose kids are going to be more um no that&#39;s you that&#39;s your baggage you mentioned you talk about like success metrics I have very low expectations for my children. David: 8:11 So it really it gets me through the night if I&#39;m being honest. Gavin: 8:14 Well I love a visit to the pumpkin patch without a doubt. I I do feel like I don&#39;t always consider myself a basic bitch. I do not like pumpkin spice lattes. They&#39;re way too sweet. I did get a free for my birthday at Starbucks and I said could you put half the syrup in please and the woman didn&#39;t know how to register but mix it with my bottle of insure because you know I&#39;m almost 50 and this vodka. And uh it was still really always frankly unappetizing. But um yeah I love going to a pumpkin patch and you know putting on a sweater when it&#39;s actually 83 degrees so I&#39;m sweating my ass off and spending$35 on apples that I could have bought for$4.99 at the grocery store. It&#39;s always so fun. And usually even at this age my kids are like basically terrors out there and they don&#39;t want to take the perfect Christmas shot that I would have hoped to get and somebody ruins it. So yeah. David: 9:07 And so what was that story about just shitting on my dreams and then stop talking? Gavin: 9:11 Is that what that means? But speaking of shitting on dreams and whatnot I this week uh we so we&#39;re you know I have two middle schoolers now and we are having a hard time adjusting to the time honestly my son he&#39;s the one right I got to get my 10 and a 10 and a half hours of sleep which he says not ironically he&#39;s like throws the blanket over his head and it he will go out like a light. I mean he plays a lot a lot a lot of sports and so he burns a lot of energy he burns very very bright and he needs his downtime we have now been such terrible parents over the last couple of weeks that our kid he&#39;s only we&#39;re only a month in he&#39;s already missed a couple of days of school basically because he wakes up on Monday and he&#39;s too exhausted to go. And he&#39;s doing a really good job acting telling us that he has a sore throat or basically he has full blown COVID. And so we buy it and but of course you know I do my regular spiel of you are not going to be on a screen today. So this happened again this week. And um and he definitely did not go on a screen and he just walked around moping feeling sorry for himself the entire day reminding me that um his throat was hurting but then by about one o&#39;clock in the afternoon he did ask can I take the scooter up the road and just go and I&#39;m like again go do what don&#39;t even finish that sentence you&#39;re not going getting on your scooter. No you&#39;re supposed to be in bed reading and having a miserable time. But it&#39;s all my fault like like in all parenting it&#39;s all my fault because I I have because we&#39;re doing too many things frankly and we don&#39;t prioritize like he&#39;s gotta go to bed at 745 now you know he we can&#39;t do nine 915 when he&#39;s getting up at 545. David: 10:42 I mean who can right we do anyway we we we we we do nothing with our children and we put them to bed early that&#39;s that&#39;s that&#39;s the secret to being and you also I mean 945 you&#39;re also falling asleep right but also 945 915 the other night we were watching one of those like two hour episodes of a show that&#39;s normally an hour and all of a sudden I just kind of went why is this what what are we doing I looked at the clock it was like 940 and I literally stood up and I went it&#39;s the middle of the night so I get it I stay up late. Gabin I have a surprise for you you do a first a first here on Gatriarch on episode 83. It&#39;s our first what would you do from me. What would you do? Gavin: 11:27 Please stop please stop only how bad it is only I can butcher that song only I can feign not knowing what it is okay but bring it I love it. David: 11:37 So this happened to me um at the kids playground that we go to all the time and on weekends the ice cream truck will drive up okay and the ice cream truck who just manipulates and exploits but okay okay so we have been having a lot of treats lately and we try to keep it very like one treat a day or if you&#39;re really good or special events and it just has gotten a little out of hand. So we&#39;ve been tightening the reins a little bit and we told them like we&#39;re not gonna get ice cream at the park today we&#39;re just gonna whatever well we had met a bunch of his friends and there was like 10 of them and it was all his old classmates and they&#39;re all having a party and that ice cream truck came up and he ran up to me and he goes can I have ice cream I said no I told you you can he&#39;s like oh and then he walks away and I was like great that&#39;s the interaction right every single one of his friends was getting ice cream and they&#39;d go up to him and be like Emmett come on let&#39;s go get ice cream and he would be like Dad can I please have ice cream and this is where my what would you do comes in because I am trying to hold the line to be like I&#39;m consistent as a parent I said no it&#39;s a no I don&#39;t want to instill that if you just ask me hard enough then you&#39;ll get something because I definitely don&#39;t want that. But also all his friends are having ice cream and they&#39;re all sitting together in the same area of the park having ice cream and laughing and I felt like a piece of fucking shit. Gavin: 12:59 So even I ask you what find new friends find a new playground find any way to prove yourself right and that those people were bad okay I mean no you know what I&#39;ve had a new technique recently um my daughter is obsessed with Starbucks drives me crazy because she doesn&#39;t need to be drinking coffee at this age but it is such a thrill to her but so there have been a couple of times that I anticipated I knew she was going to ask for it and I was like oh yeah totally let&#39;s go get it and she and she is so taken aback by my nonchalance of like yeah of course obviously we need Starbucks that she is she&#39;s disarmed and she&#39;s delighted beyond all measure but also it doesn&#39;t give her a...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin gains another ring around his trunk, David goes apple picking, our popular &#34;What would you do?&#34; is back, we rank the top 3 non-Disney animated movies, and this week we are joined by nanny and musical theatre tenor Sean Patrick Murtagh who tells us the story of how he got into nanny&apos;ing, why it didn&apos;t make him want to have kids, and what it&apos;s like to take care of OPK&apos;s in NYC. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um but you know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we went fall You know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we Jesus this is this is your gig to ruin things sorry and this is Gagearks Happy belated birthday Gavin oh shucks I didn&#39;t know you still had any of those left in I I still have so many but let me tell you I um one I&#39;m feeling old but I am not that old yet and two I&#39;ve had back pain for an entire week through my birthday and that is making me feel old but I am pushing through it and still loving life you know but the thing is about my birthday is my daughter was born three days after I after my birthday so we um one of the part of the monstrosity tornadoes of our household is that my partner is a Gemini and I am a Libra so there&#39;s a lot of dueling personalities in the household right Geminis have two and Libras are just you know imbalanced and generally like always seek seeking both halves and then our children are our say well my daughter is also a Libra so there&#39;s essentially four personalities right there between the two of us plus my partner so that&#39;s six personalities and my son is 100% a this is already more astrological work that uh talk that we&#39;re is one of these personalities gonna get to the point I&#39;m just curious he&#39;s a Taurus and so he I don&#39;t even know anything about astral astrology why am I saying this except that he is by far the most grounded member of our family that 100% he&#39;s the he&#39;s the bull on his on his just sitting there watching the rest of us spin out of control anyway bringing it back to birthdays my birthday is absolutely truncated because my daughter barely makes it through my breakfast and is like so now let&#39;s talk about my birthday and so um the way we are recording this is tomorrow I will be the parent of a teenager which is that&#39;s a big big change yeah that&#39;s a big change my uh my husband was born four days after my son so it&#39;s the reverse of you it&#39;s actually worse because it&#39;s all the prep and the buildup and the thought to his birthday and then we&#39;re just kind of recovering they&#39;re like oh yeah happy birthday Brian like it just it it&#39;s just it doesn&#39;t work out um uh I we so a couple weeks ago Gavin and I were asked to be on this radio show and they were just like celebrities because we&#39;re celebrities and they were like hey come on be on the show tell us about your show whatever we&#39;re like great we&#39;ve done this a million times um well have we though I mean they still I mean as as actors and performers and writers and stuff like that. But we didn&#39;t know exactly what we were getting into. David: 2:54 Well okay it was a raid it was a it was a radio interview and so we were like whatever we&#39;ll do a radio interview and we&#39;ll post it at some point as an episode but I just have to admit now because I don&#39;t know what they&#39;re gonna do with it I I just am not used to being live all the time. I&#39;m used to being able to edit and I&#39;m also used to being being able to curse all the time on a podcast because it&#39;s NSFW guys I I said fuck on on FM radio and the guy the host was just like uh we&#39;re a public like he was just like you can&#39;t do that and I was like did I just did I just ruin this so I said fuck on the radio and we&#39;ll we&#39;ll have to we&#39;ll we&#39;ll post it as a as an episod]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin gains another ring around his trunk, David goes apple picking, our popular &#34;What would you do?&#34; is back, we rank the top 3 non-Disney animated movies, and this week we are joined by nanny and musical theatre tenor Sean Patrick Murtagh who tells us the story of how he got into nanny&apos;ing, why it didn&apos;t make him want to have kids, and what it&apos;s like to take care of OPK&apos;s in NYC. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um but you know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we went fall You know what I didn&#39;t ruin this week is we Jesus this is this is your gig to ruin things sorry and this is Gagearks Happy belated birthday Gavin oh shucks I didn&#39;t know you still had any of those left in I I still have so many but let me tell you I um one I&#39;m feeling old but I am not that old yet and two I&#39;ve had back pain for an enti]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
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<item>
	<title>The one with actor Eric Petersen</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-actor-eric-petersen/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 25 Sep 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We&apos;re back with our first bi-episode, and man, ya&apos;ll are MAD. This week we check in after the first few weeks of school, David reads aloud from a classic children&apos;s book, Gavin reads only good headlines in the news, we rank the top 3 movies starring lesbians, and this week we are burdened with our guest Eric Petersen, who has done it all; TV, movies, Broadway, and more importantly, tread the boards with David. We talk Broadway mishaps, having a kid on the road, and why David and Eric should have never been allowed to work together. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge in a movie. No. That&#39;s really good. Hold on, I gotta think about two things now. I haven&#39;t done this in a while. Or you can DM us. Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge in the comment section of a porn site. David: 0:31 Oh my god, Gavin. You had a second shot at it. Gavin: 0:34 I know. David: 0:35 Do you need a third shot? Gavin: 0:37 Probably. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:54 So we we are now officially bi. We&#39;re officially bi weekly. Gavin: 0:59 How&#39;s bi going for you, David? David: 1:01 Well, um, it&#39;s hilarious because the second our episode dropped, we got more responses from people saying, No, why are you going bi-weekly? No, we want it every week than we&#39;ve ever had from you fuckers ever. We got more DMs and emails and messages than you&#39;ve ever sent us over this thing. Well, bitches, where have you been when we asked you to join the Facebook page? So it&#39;s your fault. You&#39;re the problem. You&#39;re the one, you&#39;re the reason we&#39;re going by. And it&#39;s just through the end of the year, so everybody calm down. But it was hilarious because literally the second the episode dropped, all of a sudden I was like, why are we getting all these DMs? Oh my god. Gavin: 1:38 Well, please make Gatriarchs gay again and not buy. And uh send us your friends and your contacts, and um, and you know, how about your corporate sponsorships as well, right? But in large part, we did this to keep our say keep our sanity and um and uh finding the guests is really tough. And uh so, in all honesty, we could use some help. And we&#39;ve been asking y&#39;all for your friends and relatives and whatnot for a long time. So send us send them your our way and also send us, you know, truly strollers and um and keebler crackers and Carter clothing and all the baby industrial complex stuff that could serve as our corporate sponsors as well, please. David: 2:21 Um, so it has been a couple of weeks since school started. And I know we did our back to school episode, we&#39;ve talked a lot about school, but I feel like now things have settled down. So I&#39;m curious as to like checking in how is school going for everyone. So, how&#39;s school going for your kids? Gavin: 2:36 Uh, so first of all, my son is a walking zombie right now because he has to get up so much earlier than he&#39;s used to. Now, this is my son. So he&#39;s famous in our family for his quote that says, I have to get my 10 and a half hours of sleep tonight. And he realized like he just pulled the blanket over his head and like immediately went to sleep uh one night when we were up late talking. But anyway, poor kid, he is just walking into walls. He is so tired. Furthermore, we made the terrible decision of following his passion and indulging his interests. And he tried out for the middle school soccer team and made it, which I we have on good authority was a very big deal. And then that, and we were so proud, we&#39;re like, our kid is a superstar, right? And then we realized, oh, wait a minute, he&#39;s on three soccer teams. Like, who&#39;s the asshole here? You don&#39;t let your child be on three sports teams at the same time. David: 3:32 You and I are proof positive to never chase your dreams because look what happens. Look what it gets. Look, look, look, look at what we have become. Gavin: 3:41 We it and it makes you hate your dream, I would imagine. So then we were the dream killers, and we very we psychologically manipulated him into agreeing that he needed to bail on that team, which of course we&#39;re a never quit family, but we&#39;re like, no, no, no, this is too much, dude. You are doing two-a-day practices five days, four days a week, plus games the other three days of the week. Like, this is unsustainable. Furthermore, you&#39;re sacrificing the team for which we pay a lot of money. So it all comes down to money and not chasing dreams. Because if we&#39;re gonna pay for you to become Lionel Messi, then you&#39;re gonna go to your expensive um team instead. So he quit his middle school team. David: 4:26 I love that you have an actual soccer player reference for that because mine would mine would be Pele from like the late 90s. Like that is my most recent 70s. I&#39;m a decade away. I&#39;m a god. Holy shit. Well, come on, Beckham. Gavin: 4:42 Oh, that&#39;s true. And his abs. That&#39;s true, David Beckham. Anyway, so he&#39;s walking the walls, but um, we&#39;re uh adjusting, but man, are his um his bedtime has to get earlier and earlier. I mean, we&#39;re in the sevens right now, and uh, but poor kid, he&#39;s so tired. And then my daughter, you know, who she is just living her best middle school life, and she&#39;s bouncing off the walls in the morning and also refusing to eat. And so we&#39;re going through I did you eat in middle school? David: 5:08 Never. I would get a Pop Dart on the way in the car to school. Yeah. Gavin: 5:12 What did you stop at 7-Eleven? Or do you mean we had pop darts at home, but yeah, yeah, exactly. David: 5:17 Yeah. Gavin: 5:17 Oh, I mean, I don&#39;t know. I was so conventional and boring and only child and doing it. David: 5:23 This is my surprised face. Gavin: 5:26 That there was a bowl of steaming hot oatmeal every single morning for me, which is embarrassing, I suppose. David: 5:32 But now But this was also the Puritanical time. Like this was the this was like the original colonies, right? That&#39;s so that&#39;s a pretty common breakfast. Gavin: 5:38 It wasn&#39;t even oatmeal, it was porridge. It was mush, it was hot mush orat. Muslicks. Yeah, so in those puritanical times, when I after I had already milked all the cows and came in to go to my one room schoolhouse, uh, there was food waiting for me. And I never went through a stage of like not eating in middle school. And um, and so you know, you gotta how do you instill these values it well, you know, in this knowledge and eating well without like skinny shaming or fat-shaming your kids and being like, listen, you cannot skip a meal in the morning and think you&#39;re gonna go buy an orange juice at school, and then that&#39;s gonna be okay. David: 6:17 But I&#39;m a little or a Celsius or whatever. Oh, you started. Yeah, I I mean it&#39;s so hard because like I remember middle school just being there was nutrition was out the fucking window. Like there was no concept of nutrition. Gavin: 6:29 I am overthinking the nutrition 100% in comparison. Like, here I am, and I mean, I am only 48 and only look 57. And that is probably largely because of my nutrition, right? So I know I&#39;m overthinking it. David: 6:45 No, you&#39;re not overthinking it because there is something to like we are trying to create a healthy relationship with food with our kids while at the same time not planting these seeds of food is a killer, food makes you fat, being fat is bad. It&#39;s such a tight rope to walk, but like I grew up in a house where like you can have anything you want at any time. And so I got a little fat, and I&#39;ve always been a little fat, and it&#39;s been my entire identity for so long is that like skinny equals successful and happy or whatever. And so I want to instill good eating habits for my kids, if I&#39;m being honest, to avoid them having to go through the I&#39;m fat and then not as attractive psycho psychosis that I went through. Gavin: 7:23 And you are a psycho as far as that goes. You are not fat, David F. M. Vaughn. But I but I agree with you entirely. Food is food, I mean, our relationship with food is so difficult. Yesterday, I was just telling you before, um, I had just kind of a crappy day yesterday, and I missed working out. And so instead of working out, I bought um on impulse a bag of Buffalo flavored Cheetos. Wow. I love Cheetos. I love Cheetos. David: 7:50 You can take the boy out of the Walmart. Gavin: 7:52 I ate half of that bag. And with every handful, fistful, that I shoved into my cheese-covered face, I kept my mantra was don&#39;t feel guilty, don&#39;t feel guilty, don&#39;t feel guilty. David: 8:05 Oh no, I get it. If if you&#39;ve ever seen me eat popcorn, it&#39;s it&#39;s like witnessing a zebra being attacked in the savannah and just being torn apart by a lion. It&#39;s disgusting. All right. Gavin: 8:17 Um speaking of how no, how&#39;s no no no? Don&#39;t you dare change the topic. David: 8:21 Sorry. Gavin: 8:21 How is school with you? David: 8:23 Well, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s going good. So I think I said the first day was really rough, lots of crying. Uh, and an administrator had to peel my child off of me. Um, but after that, he has been so he&#39;s gone to kindergarten now. He&#39;s been really excited every morning. He&#39;s has his backpack on before we&#39;re ready to go because he wants to get on the bus. The one thing that I&#39;ve noticed, which is so fucking fascinating, is that at the bus stop, it&#39;s kind of at a park. And so the kids who are there early run around and play. They play tag, they whatever. And so the first couple of days, my son would not leave our side. He just watched them all because there&#39;s like the really aggressive kids and there&#39;s whatever. And then slowly and but surely, he&#39;s like slowly inched his way closer. And then one day he wanted to go near them, but he didn&#39;t want to talk to them. And then he like said something to one kid. Now he&#39;s one of the kids. Now he&#39;s one of the wolf pack running around. He drops his bag as soon as he gets to the bus stop and he runs with these crazy people. But it was fascinating to watch because we as parents were like, go have fun, meet some other kids. But he was it was all new to him, but he&#39;s slowly gotten there. So we&#39;re very fortunate that he loves school and he loves his aftercare program. Um, but we still have yet to be in the building. We still have no idea what his classroom looks like. We have no idea. We ask him every day, we&#39;re like, where do you eat lunch? And it changes every day. So we have no idea what the truth is. So our back to school night is in a couple weeks. Um, and so I am eager to see all of this because there&#39;s something as a parent, as you know, that is really important to like feel like when you think about where your kid is at a certain point in uh of the day, you want to kind of have an image in your head. You want to be like, oh, what&#39;s lunch time? And this is what lunch looks like for him. Yeah, I don&#39;t have that for I drop him off at 8 05. I don&#39;t see him till six. I have no idea where he is or what he&#39;s doing at any point. Yeah, so anyway, um, but it&#39;s going great. Gavin: 10:10 Um and I can&#39;t wait for you to be able to plant that flag on that PTA and be like, step aside, bitches. Here&#39;s your new picture. David: 10:16 I signed up already. I signed up already, and the president emailing us, like, uh, you know, he says his name and then, comma, PTA president. I&#39;m like, bitch, not for long. Um, so yeah, things are fine. But um, I was reading a book. Uh, my son got a uh Snow, like a Disney stories book from the library and rereading them. Uh-huh. And it&#39;s one of those moments where you&#39;re like, oh, I had no idea how fucking dark this story was until you read it as an adult. I was reading him Snow White, and really all I remembered with Snow White was like, I don&#39;t know, there&#39;s like dwarfs and like there&#39;s an apple, and then she falls asleep, and then he has to like the mirror. Yeah, exactly. Let me read you a quote from this story that I read out loud to my son. In a jealous rage, the queen called her royal huntsman into the throne room, take Snow White far into the forest and kill her, she commanded. And as proof of your deed, bring me back her heart in this. She handed the stun huntsman a beautiful carved box. I was like, what the fuck is happening in here? There&#39;s murder, there is like decapitation. I mean, it is like this is wild. Gavin: 11:26 Biblical levels of murder and mayhem in a children&#39;s story, which are so much, hey, Disney has disnified our whole like sanitized it&#39;s storytelling. David: 11:39 It&#39;s wild how they that like their dark, their stories used to be so dark. And so I realized that this week I have um fucked up my kids in uh individually, but via classic storytelling. So for my son, Snow White, he&#39;s like, What why is he she gonna murder her? And he&#39;s gonna take the heart out, and you could see the panic in his face. For my daughter, we were playing her songs from Sound of Music, and so you know, you know all the songs from Sound of Music. It&#39;s all very flat old school comedy, um, old school musical theater. Well, we were playing her the goodnight song, you know, so long, farewell, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there&#39;s all the kids, and they all say their goodnights. We thought, oh, this would be really fun. For whatever reason, the last little girl, the tiniest little girl Gruddle, sure, she she says, Good night, good night, good night. And she does a little octave jump at the very end as she&#39;s like waving. She&#39;s like I&#39;m playing it for my daughter, and as soon as that note hits, she bursts into tears. Whoa. And I said, What&#39;s wrong? She goes, going to bed. And something about the music, it&#39;s either the literal tone and the wavelength or whatever, hits her soul in a way that stirs it stirs emotion. So she immediately, sobbing, said, I want to watch it again. And she watches it again. And the second she hits that last little note, burst into tears. So now she is requiring us to play it for her every day. And every day we have to prepare for this little girl to be inconsolable because she thinks that Greta sound singing that last bit of sound of music is the most beautiful thing she&#39;s ever heard. Gavin: 13:13 Wow. That I mean, hey, we know we want to think of music and musicals as being so emotionally evocative that we could just burst into tears. And maybe this is like because her soul hasn&#39;t been tarnished and destroyed yet, and she still has a sense of awe and wonder. David: 13:33 And it&#39;s beauty. I mean, I I mean, when&#39;s the last time you were watching a musical and you burst into tears? I can tell you for me, it was the revival of color purple when she&#39;s saying, Oh, um, I&#39;m here. And I just went like it was one of those things that like something was escaping my body. What about you? Gavin: 13:50 I I cannot think of a time ever because I&#39;m not sure. Because I&#39;m dead inside. Right, right. Because I&#39;m absolutely dead inside. I can&#39;t think of well, I I did see the original color of purple in 1875. Right. Yeah, that was definitely the color of purple, it was definitely not a Broadway musical in 1875. No, in what, like 2006 or 7 or something, somewhere it&#39;s eight, nine, eight or nine. Anyway, and um, I didn&#39;t know the story at all. And so when the sister comes down the aisle returning, that that I didn&#39;t know the story, so I was completely thrown over by that one. But um, being able to hear something so beautiful is um it&#39;s a privilege...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We&apos;re back with our first bi-episode, and man, ya&apos;ll are MAD. This week we check in after the first few weeks of school, David reads aloud from a classic children&apos;s book, Gavin reads only good headlines in the news, we rank the top 3 movie]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We&apos;re back with our first bi-episode, and man, ya&apos;ll are MAD. This week we check in after the first few weeks of school, David reads aloud from a classic children&apos;s book, Gavin reads only good headlines in the news, we rank the top 3 movies starring lesbians, and this week we are burdened with our guest Eric Petersen, who has done it all; TV, movies, Broadway, and more importantly, tread the boards with David. We talk Broadway mishaps, having a kid on the road, and why David and Eric should have never been allowed to work together. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge in a movie. No. That&#39;s really good. Hold on, I gotta think about two things now. I haven&#39;t done this in a while. Or you can DM us. Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge in the comment section of a porn site. David: 0:31 Oh my god, Gavin. You had a second shot at it. Gavin: 0:34 I know. David: 0:35 Do you need a third shot? Gavin: 0:37 Probably. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:54 So we we are now officially bi. We&#39;re officially bi weekly. Gavin: 0:59 How&#39;s bi going for you, David? David: 1:01 Well, um, it&#39;s hilarious because the second our episode dropped, we got more responses from people saying, No, why are you going bi-weekly? No, we want it every week than we&#39;ve ever had from you fuckers ever. We got more DMs and emails and messages than you&#39;ve ever sent us over this thing. Well, bitches, where have you been when we asked you to join the Facebook page? So it&#39;s your fault. You&#39;re the problem. You&#39;re the one, you&#39;re the reason we&#39;re going by. And it&#39;s just through the end of the year, so everybody calm down. But it was hilarious because literally the second the episode dropped, all of a sudden I was like, why are we getting all these DMs? Oh my god. Gavin: 1:38 Well, please make Gatriarchs gay again and not buy. And uh send us your friends and your contacts, and um, and you know, how about your corporate sponsorships as well, right? But in large part, we did this to keep our say keep our sanity and um and uh finding the guests is really tough. And uh so, in all honesty, we could use some help. And we&#39;ve been asking y&#39;all for your friends and relatives and whatnot for a long time. So send us send them your our way and also send us, you know, truly strollers and um and keebler crackers and Carter clothing and all the baby industrial complex stuff that could serve as our corporate sponsors as well, please. David: 2:21 Um, so it has been a couple of weeks since school started. And I know we did our back to school episode, we&#39;ve talked a lot about school, but I feel like now things have settled down. So I&#39;m curious as to like checking in how is school going for everyone. So, how&#39;s school going for your kids? Gavin: 2:36 Uh, so first of all, my son is a walking zombie right now because he has to get up so much earlier than he&#39;s used to. Now, this is my son. So he&#39;s famous in our family for his quote that says, I have to get my 10 and a half hours of sleep tonight. And he realized like he just pulled the blanket over his head and like immediately went to sleep uh one night when we were up late talking. But anyway, poor kid, he is just walking into walls. He is so tired. Furthermore, we made the terrible decision of following his passion and indulging his interests. And he tried out for the middle school soccer team and made it, which I we have on good authority was a very big deal. And then that, and we were so proud, we&#39;re like, our kid is a superstar, right? And then we realized, oh, wait a minute, he&#39;s on three soccer teams. Like, who&#39;s the asshole here? You don&#39;t let your child be on three sports teams at the same time. David: 3:32 You and I are proof positive to never chase your dreams because look what happens. Look what it gets. Look, look, look, look at what we have become. Gavin: 3:41 We it and it makes you hate your dream, I would imagine. So then we were the dream killers, and we very we psychologically manipulated him into agreeing that he needed to bail on that team, which of course we&#39;re a never quit family, but we&#39;re like, no, no, no, this is too much, dude. You are doing two-a-day practices five days, four days a week, plus games the other three days of the week. Like, this is unsustainable. Furthermore, you&#39;re sacrificing the team for which we pay a lot of money. So it all comes down to money and not chasing dreams. Because if we&#39;re gonna pay for you to become Lionel Messi, then you&#39;re gonna go to your expensive um team instead. So he quit his middle school team. David: 4:26 I love that you have an actual soccer player reference for that because mine would mine would be Pele from like the late 90s. Like that is my most recent 70s. I&#39;m a decade away. I&#39;m a god. Holy shit. Well, come on, Beckham. Gavin: 4:42 Oh, that&#39;s true. And his abs. That&#39;s true, David Beckham. Anyway, so he&#39;s walking the walls, but um, we&#39;re uh adjusting, but man, are his um his bedtime has to get earlier and earlier. I mean, we&#39;re in the sevens right now, and uh, but poor kid, he&#39;s so tired. And then my daughter, you know, who she is just living her best middle school life, and she&#39;s bouncing off the walls in the morning and also refusing to eat. And so we&#39;re going through I did you eat in middle school? David: 5:08 Never. I would get a Pop Dart on the way in the car to school. Yeah. Gavin: 5:12 What did you stop at 7-Eleven? Or do you mean we had pop darts at home, but yeah, yeah, exactly. David: 5:17 Yeah. Gavin: 5:17 Oh, I mean, I don&#39;t know. I was so conventional and boring and only child and doing it. David: 5:23 This is my surprised face. Gavin: 5:26 That there was a bowl of steaming hot oatmeal every single morning for me, which is embarrassing, I suppose. David: 5:32 But now But this was also the Puritanical time. Like this was the this was like the original colonies, right? That&#39;s so that&#39;s a pretty common breakfast. Gavin: 5:38 It wasn&#39;t even oatmeal, it was porridge. It was mush, it was hot mush orat. Muslicks. Yeah, so in those puritanical times, when I after I had already milked all the cows and came in to go to my one room schoolhouse, uh, there was food waiting for me. And I never went through a stage of like not eating in middle school. And um, and so you know, you gotta how do you instill these values it well, you know, in this knowledge and eating well without like skinny shaming or fat-shaming your kids and being like, listen, you cannot skip a meal in the morning and think you&#39;re gonna go buy an orange juice at school, and then that&#39;s gonna be okay. David: 6:17 But I&#39;m a little or a Celsius or whatever. Oh, you started. Yeah, I I mean it&#39;s so hard because like I remember middle school just being there was nutrition was out the fucking window. Like there was no concept of nutrition. Gavin: 6:29 I am overthinking the nutrition 100% in comparison. Like, here I am, and I mean, I am only 48 and only look 57. And that is probably largely because of my nutrition, right? So I know I&#39;m overthinking it. David: 6:45 No, you&#39;re not overthinking it because there is something to like we are trying to create a healthy relationship with food with our kids while at the same time not planting these seeds of food is a killer, food makes you fat, being fat is bad. It&#39;s such a tight rope to walk, but like I grew up in a house where like you can have anything you want at any time. And so I got a little fat, and I&#39;ve always been a little fat, and it&#39;s been my entire identity for so long is that like skinny equals successful and happy or whatever. And so I want to instill good eating habits for my kids, if I&#39;m being honest, to avoid them having to go through the I&#39;m fat and then not as attractive psycho psychosis that I went through. Gavin: 7:23 And you are a psycho as far as that goes. You are not fat, David F. M. Vaughn. But I but I agree with you entirely. Food is food, I mean, our relationship with food is so difficult. Yesterday, I was just telling you before, um, I had just kind of a crappy day yesterday, and I missed working out. And so instead of working out, I bought um on impulse a bag of Buffalo flavored Cheetos. Wow. I love Cheetos. I love Cheetos. David: 7:50 You can take the boy out of the Walmart. Gavin: 7:52 I ate half of that bag. And with every handful, fistful, that I shoved into my cheese-covered face, I kept my mantra was don&#39;t feel guilty, don&#39;t feel guilty, don&#39;t feel guilty. David: 8:05 Oh no, I get it. If if you&#39;ve ever seen me eat popcorn, it&#39;s it&#39;s like witnessing a zebra being attacked in the savannah and just being torn apart by a lion. It&#39;s disgusting. All right. Gavin: 8:17 Um speaking of how no, how&#39;s no no no? Don&#39;t you dare change the topic. David: 8:21 Sorry. Gavin: 8:21 How is school with you? David: 8:23 Well, you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s going good. So I think I said the first day was really rough, lots of crying. Uh, and an administrator had to peel my child off of me. Um, but after that, he has been so he&#39;s gone to kindergarten now. He&#39;s been really excited every morning. He&#39;s has his backpack on before we&#39;re ready to go because he wants to get on the bus. The one thing that I&#39;ve noticed, which is so fucking fascinating, is that at the bus stop, it&#39;s kind of at a park. And so the kids who are there early run around and play. They play tag, they whatever. And so the first couple of days, my son would not leave our side. He just watched them all because there&#39;s like the really aggressive kids and there&#39;s whatever. And then slowly and but surely, he&#39;s like slowly inched his way closer. And then one day he wanted to go near them, but he didn&#39;t want to talk to them. And then he like said something to one kid. Now he&#39;s one of the kids. Now he&#39;s one of the wolf pack running around. He drops his bag as soon as he gets to the bus stop and he runs with these crazy people. But it was fascinating to watch because we as parents were like, go have fun, meet some other kids. But he was it was all new to him, but he&#39;s slowly gotten there. So we&#39;re very fortunate that he loves school and he loves his aftercare program. Um, but we still have yet to be in the building. We still have no idea what his classroom looks like. We have no idea. We ask him every day, we&#39;re like, where do you eat lunch? And it changes every day. So we have no idea what the truth is. So our back to school night is in a couple weeks. Um, and so I am eager to see all of this because there&#39;s something as a parent, as you know, that is really important to like feel like when you think about where your kid is at a certain point in uh of the day, you want to kind of have an image in your head. You want to be like, oh, what&#39;s lunch time? And this is what lunch looks like for him. Yeah, I don&#39;t have that for I drop him off at 8 05. I don&#39;t see him till six. I have no idea where he is or what he&#39;s doing at any point. Yeah, so anyway, um, but it&#39;s going great. Gavin: 10:10 Um and I can&#39;t wait for you to be able to plant that flag on that PTA and be like, step aside, bitches. Here&#39;s your new picture. David: 10:16 I signed up already. I signed up already, and the president emailing us, like, uh, you know, he says his name and then, comma, PTA president. I&#39;m like, bitch, not for long. Um, so yeah, things are fine. But um, I was reading a book. Uh, my son got a uh Snow, like a Disney stories book from the library and rereading them. Uh-huh. And it&#39;s one of those moments where you&#39;re like, oh, I had no idea how fucking dark this story was until you read it as an adult. I was reading him Snow White, and really all I remembered with Snow White was like, I don&#39;t know, there&#39;s like dwarfs and like there&#39;s an apple, and then she falls asleep, and then he has to like the mirror. Yeah, exactly. Let me read you a quote from this story that I read out loud to my son. In a jealous rage, the queen called her royal huntsman into the throne room, take Snow White far into the forest and kill her, she commanded. And as proof of your deed, bring me back her heart in this. She handed the stun huntsman a beautiful carved box. I was like, what the fuck is happening in here? There&#39;s murder, there is like decapitation. I mean, it is like this is wild. Gavin: 11:26 Biblical levels of murder and mayhem in a children&#39;s story, which are so much, hey, Disney has disnified our whole like sanitized it&#39;s storytelling. David: 11:39 It&#39;s wild how they that like their dark, their stories used to be so dark. And so I realized that this week I have um fucked up my kids in uh individually, but via classic storytelling. So for my son, Snow White, he&#39;s like, What why is he she gonna murder her? And he&#39;s gonna take the heart out, and you could see the panic in his face. For my daughter, we were playing her songs from Sound of Music, and so you know, you know all the songs from Sound of Music. It&#39;s all very flat old school comedy, um, old school musical theater. Well, we were playing her the goodnight song, you know, so long, farewell, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there&#39;s all the kids, and they all say their goodnights. We thought, oh, this would be really fun. For whatever reason, the last little girl, the tiniest little girl Gruddle, sure, she she says, Good night, good night, good night. And she does a little octave jump at the very end as she&#39;s like waving. She&#39;s like I&#39;m playing it for my daughter, and as soon as that note hits, she bursts into tears. Whoa. And I said, What&#39;s wrong? She goes, going to bed. And something about the music, it&#39;s either the literal tone and the wavelength or whatever, hits her soul in a way that stirs it stirs emotion. So she immediately, sobbing, said, I want to watch it again. And she watches it again. And the second she hits that last little note, burst into tears. So now she is requiring us to play it for her every day. And every day we have to prepare for this little girl to be inconsolable because she thinks that Greta sound singing that last bit of sound of music is the most beautiful thing she&#39;s ever heard. Gavin: 13:13 Wow. That I mean, hey, we know we want to think of music and musicals as being so emotionally evocative that we could just burst into tears. And maybe this is like because her soul hasn&#39;t been tarnished and destroyed yet, and she still has a sense of awe and wonder. David: 13:33 And it&#39;s beauty. I mean, I I mean, when&#39;s the last time you were watching a musical and you burst into tears? I can tell you for me, it was the revival of color purple when she&#39;s saying, Oh, um, I&#39;m here. And I just went like it was one of those things that like something was escaping my body. What about you? Gavin: 13:50 I I cannot think of a time ever because I&#39;m not sure. Because I&#39;m dead inside. Right, right. Because I&#39;m absolutely dead inside. I can&#39;t think of well, I I did see the original color of purple in 1875. Right. Yeah, that was definitely the color of purple, it was definitely not a Broadway musical in 1875. No, in what, like 2006 or 7 or something, somewhere it&#39;s eight, nine, eight or nine. Anyway, and um, I didn&#39;t know the story at all. And so when the sister comes down the aisle returning, that that I didn&#39;t know the story, so I was completely thrown over by that one. But um, being able to hear something so beautiful is um it&#39;s a privilege...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We&apos;re back with our first bi-episode, and man, ya&apos;ll are MAD. This week we check in after the first few weeks of school, David reads aloud from a classic children&apos;s book, Gavin reads only good headlines in the news, we rank the top 3 movies starring lesbians, and this week we are burdened with our guest Eric Petersen, who has done it all; TV, movies, Broadway, and more importantly, tread the boards with David. We talk Broadway mishaps, having a kid on the road, and why David and Eric should have never been allowed to work together. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge in a movie. No. That&#39;s really good. Hold on, I gotta think about two things now. I haven&#39;t done this in a while. Or you can DM us. Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge in the comment section of a porn site. David: 0:31 Oh my god, Gavin. You had a second shot at it. Gavin: 0:34 I know. David: 0:35 Do you need a third shot? Gavin: 0:37 Probably. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:54 So we we are now officially bi. We&#39;re officially bi weekly. Gavin: 0:59 How&#39;s bi going for you, David? David: 1:01 Well, um, it&#39;s hilarious because the second our episode dropped, we got more responses from people saying, No, why are you going bi-weekly? No, we want it every week than we&#39;ve ever had from you fuckers ever. We got more DMs and emails and messages than you&#39;ve ever sent us over this thing. Well, bitches, where have you been when we asked you to join the Facebook page? So it&#39;s your fault. You&#39;re the problem. You&#39;re the one, you&#39;re the reason we&#39;re going by. And it&#39;s just through the end of the year, so everybody calm down. But it was hilarious because literally the second the episode dropped, all of a sudden I was like, why are we getting all these DMs? Oh my god. Gavin: 1:38 Well, please make Gatriarchs gay again and not buy. And uh send us your friends and your contacts, and um, and you know, how about your corporate sponsorships as well, right? But in large part, we did this to keep our say keep our sanity and um and uh finding the guests is really tough. And uh so, in all honesty, we could use some help. And we&#39;ve been asking y&#39;all for your friends and relatives and whatnot for a long time. So send us send them your our way and also send us, you know, truly strollers and um and keebler crackers and Carter clothing and all the baby industrial complex stuff that could serve as our corporate sponsors as well, please. David: 2:21 Um, so it has been a couple of weeks since school started. And I know we did our back to school episode, we&#39;ve talked a lot about school, but I feel like now things have settled down. So I&#39;m curious as to like checking in how is school going for everyone. So, how&#39;s school going for your kids? Gavin: 2:36 Uh, so first of all, my son is a walking zombie right now because he has to get up so much earlier than he&#39;s used to. Now, this is my son. So he&#39;s famous in our family for his quote that says, I have to get my 10 and a half hours of sleep tonight. And he realized like he just pulled the blanket over his head and like immediately went to sleep uh one night when we were up late talking. But anyway, poor kid, he is just walking into walls. He is so tired. Furthermore, we made the terrible decision of following his passion and indulging his interests. And he tried out for the middle school soccer team and made it, which I we have on good authority was a very big deal. And then that, and we were so proud, we&#39;re like, our kid is a superstar, right? And then we realized, oh, wait a minute, he&#39;s on t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We&apos;re back with our first bi-episode, and man, ya&apos;ll are MAD. This week we check in after the first few weeks of school, David reads aloud from a classic children&apos;s book, Gavin reads only good headlines in the news, we rank the top 3 movies starring lesbians, and this week we are burdened with our guest Eric Petersen, who has done it all; TV, movies, Broadway, and more importantly, tread the boards with David. We talk Broadway mishaps, having a kid on the road, and why David and Eric should have never been allowed to work together. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge in a movie. No. That&#39;s really good. Hold on, I gotta think about two things now. I haven&#39;t done this in a while. Or you can DM us. Or you can D]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with nobody</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-nobody/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 11 Sep 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David and going bi, we try and figure out how to talk about 9/11 to your kids, we debrief about our first week in school, Gavin depresses us with more companies bowing down to anti-DEI pressure, we rate the top 3 things that keep us up at night, and David isn&apos;t the only bear in the woods as he goes gay camping.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:02 Hi friends, we are Dads and Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I&#39;m Brian Rubin Sowers, a married dad of two. SPEAKER_01: 0:10 And I am Judson Morrow, a resident daddy. Join us for frank conversations and personal stories of sex, love, relationships, parenthood, daddyhood, addiction, and so much more. SPEAKER_00: 0:21 Find us on Instagram at Dads and Daddies Pod and listen to new episodes every Tuesday on all major platforms. Gavin: 0:30 I don&#39;t know. They&#39;re completely uh absolutely. David: 0:38 This was your second try, I want to remind you. This is your second go at this sentence. And this is Gatriarchy. Gavin: 0:59 So, David, how about that debate last night? David: 1:06 Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? Gavin: 1:09 How could you possibly say what are you talking about based upon how about the debate last night? David: 1:16 Because it&#39;s 10 49 a.m. on Tuesday. It is not Wednesday. And we are no longer lying to our listener. We are not recording this afterwards. Gavin: 1:26 I was texting with a friend about uh like dear basically saying a prayer on behalf of Kamala. And I was like, Dear Cher on Earth and Judy in the sky, please let her be smart enough but not too smart, strong enough but not too strong, and charming enough, but not too strong charming, so she doesn&#39;t scare America, which is afraid of women, and let her demean herself just enough so we can get her over the finish line and she can change the world for all women for all time and basically, you know, um change the course of history. David: 2:03 Just the narrowest needle to thread, like you were saying, because it&#39;s so true. But also, you know, you&#39;re like, you know, throw some of his shade back at him, but not too much to look like a fucking bitch. And you know, it&#39;s just like I I just I I don&#39;t know how she&#39;s gonna do it. I will not be watching, and here&#39;s why. I will tell you why. Really? Because the last the the one between Hillary and Trump scared me in such a foundational way of the world of like, if if this goes wrong, do I literally have to flee this country? I was also watching Handmaid&#39;s Tale at the time, which is Hey, this is a comedy. Gavin: 2:37 You&#39;re taking it down on that. David: 2:39 Sorry, sorry, but but it&#39;s the same thing here, where I&#39;m like, like if this goes horrible, kind of like the other one did, I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna have to start planning about it. But anyway, yeah, last night, great, huh? She did great. She was f she she threaded the needle like we knew she would. Um, I want to just mention uh Gavin and I often talk offline when we&#39;re planning the show and we&#39;re talking about things. And he said something the other day that made me laugh so hard. We were going over the download stats. We were looking, you know, we can see when our listeners, we can we know where you are, we know what device you&#39;re using, but also we can see, you know, every day who downloads what episodes. And we were just talking about how many people had downloaded this particular episode in the morning, um, like early in the morning, because our episodes release at 6 a.m. Eastern time. And Gavin&#39;s response was, Who are these people? Don&#39;t they have something better to do? Which I suppose is setting us up. Gavin: 3:30 Let&#39;s talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. But um, but I mean, it is it is thrilling to know that hopefully we are titillating somebody out there. And it&#39;s nice to be right away. David: 3:41 Our one listener. Uh, and with that, we are making a little bit of an announcement here. We here at Gatriarchs are going by. We&#39;re going by, we&#39;re we&#39;re we&#39;re by curious, um, and we&#39;re also going by weekly. Um, at least through the end of the year. We produce this podcast ourselves. We make a lot of dollar on this show. Um it is a ton of work, and we um think we&#39;d rather have fewer episodes that are better or at least medium than just keep pumping out every week. So through the end of the year, through 2024, we&#39;re gonna be going bi-weekly. We&#39;re still gonna be bringing you the same mediocre content by the same mediocre comedians from America&#39;s most uh most trustworthy news source. Um, we had asked you last episode, I believe, or that maybe it was the episode previous. Please, you know, send us your ideas, reach out, communicate, like interact, you know, uh just basically asking for you guys to um send us stuff and interact. And we appreciate those of you who did. And I especially appreciate whichever listener asshole out there signed us Gatriarchs Podcast up for ourtime.com, which is a seniors dating website, um and named us Anne. So we get emails every day where Anne has matches because Gatriarchs Podcast is now a member of our time. So whatever listener out there did that, fucking hilarious. Gavin: 5:07 Well, apparently, this person uh per your earlier topic of who are these people and don&#39;t they have something better to do? Apparently, this person did have something better to do and signed us up. So that&#39;s brilliant. That&#39;s hilarious. Thanks. Really funny. David: 5:18 I I will give you that. That&#39;s it. I I if it&#39;s for if it&#39;s comedy, uh, we&#39;re we&#39;re all for it. Gavin: 5:23 Yep, we are all for it. Speaking of comedy, uh it&#39;s 9-11. David: 5:29 I knew that transition was coming and it still it still hurt me. Yeah, it is 9-11. It is 9-11. Gavin: 5:35 Um, what&#39;s your brief where were you? Yeah, it&#39;s well, first of all, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to say that the thing that makes me think about 9-11 right now is that my children think of it, they know about 9-11. I don&#39;t think your kids do yet, but they study 9-11 like it is what? Ancient history. I mean it is. It is. I mean, when I think about the perspective of like, I grew up, you know, uh in okay, not in World War II, but World War II was such truly ancient history because it was 40 years in the past. Now 9-11 is only 24 years in the past. Wait, 23 years. 23 years, sorry. I I do math. And um, but of course, to a little kid who uh it&#39;s it is ancient history. Um, so my kids talk about it and they&#39;re like, Yeah, whatever. I mean, but they do ask me, what were you doing on that day? And which is, you know, important discussions to be had, but still it&#39;s ancient history to them, which is just bizarre. David: 6:33 It is, and it&#39;s always weird because it&#39;s just another marker of saying how old you are. Because I, you know, we all remember our parents being like, oh, the blah, blah, blah, blah. And you&#39;re like, that&#39;s so old, you old piece of shit. And now we&#39;re the old pieces of shit. I, embarrassingly, I was in college and I was in a tanning bed. Um, and it was very early in the morning, and I was a grown-ass man living in Florida going to college. Tanning. In a tanning bed. A what I and for those of you who don&#39;t know what I look like, I am white, white. I have blonde hair, I have pale skin. There are so many things to pick apart here. There is no reason my blanco ass should be in a tanning bed. Gavin: 7:13 When you live in Florida, can&#39;t you just walk outside for 15 minutes and do the same thing and save yourself 32.50? Sure can. David: 7:20 Sure can. Gavin: 7:21 Okay. David: 7:21 But was I doing it? No. So I was in a tanning bed and it was, I was the first customer that was like, you know, it was like 9 a.m. and I the doors open and I pop right in there. And I come out and she has the TV on, and she&#39;s like, oh, I think, you know, I think something weird has happened in New York City or whatever. But it was just so funny because when everyone goes like, where were you? Where were you? I was like, I was I was at a fucking tanning bed in Tallahassee, Florida. Gavin: 7:44 You life changed in those 20 minutes that you gave yourself skin cancer. David: 7:48 And I turned on the, you know, went home and I turned on the news and I was watching it. And I have I had a uh like a um what do they call it? The the the rewind cameras were they called? Gavin: 7:59 A rewind camera. Uh a GoPro? David: 8:01 No, where you like pull the um a throwaway camera, like a like a throwaway camera. Gavin: 8:06 A point and shoot? No, like the kind a disposable camera. David: 8:10 Disposable. This was two old people trying to come up with the word of the thing. Yes, this was it was a disposable camera. I took pictures of the television on a disposable camera that I had to get printed at a print shop. Um, in case you&#39;re wondering how old I was. So um you were three years old. Gavin: 8:30 Oh, do you still have those pictures? David: 8:32 I still have those pictures. Gavin: 8:33 Why do you think you did that? David: 8:35 Because I was watching when the second plane hit, and I remember taking a picture of that particular moment that they kept replaying. Yeah. Um, because they had video footage of it, and I have photos of that. It&#39;s in a box somewhere in my mom&#39;s house. Where were you? Gavin: 8:50 Uh I was waiting tables that day in New York. I had just moved to New York. Wow. I&#39;m just a little older than you. And uh, but I worked at a restaurant called the Atlantic Grill that I think is still there at 77th and 3rd. Or no, actually, I think it&#39;s gone. But anyway, 77th and 3rd. And um, so I was um waiting tables at the they gave me the outdoor cafe that day. Um, we were short staffed, so I had to do two sections, and one of them was the outdoor cafe. And I&#39;m like, nobody&#39;s gonna come to the outdoor cafe to eat here. This is ridiculous. But because I was outdoors, um, I saw the streaming of people walking north on Third Avenue. So that was surreal, obviously. Seeing, you know, no traffic, no cars, just people walking. And the cafe was packed, and people were drinking. So, needless to say, for a waiter, you&#39;re like, I&#39;m actually gonna make a fair amount of money today. David: 9:46 Um is that is that the message you want to bring out into the world? Was that 9/11 was fiscally beneficial to you? Gavin: 9:53 And I donated all of it to the firefighters fund immediately the next day. David: 10:00 Anyways, but I think what&#39;s interesting from our podcast point of view is like how do you talk about it with your kids who have no concept of that? They you, you know, we like when people talk about Vietnam War or any of this kind of stuff, it just strikes nothing emotional in me. And the thing that&#39;s hard to explain to them is like a time where information wasn&#39;t at your fingertips, where you couldn&#39;t see things in real time and you just heard rumors and you had to piece together information. And the feeling of we don&#39;t know what&#39;s happening, yeah, and not knowing what&#39;s happening in the world was such a terrifying. And that&#39;s hard to translate to children who was like, well, just look online, what&#39;s going on online? Yeah. Um, so that&#39;s that&#39;s gonna be a hard thing to do. Also, you know, my kids are so young, it&#39;s gonna be weird to talk about planes flying into buildings and then us get on a plane somewhere and not, you know what I mean? So I think I&#39;m gonna hold off on a for a while. But your kids are older, they&#39;re studying it, you say. Gavin: 10:52 No, yeah. No, luckily, my kids don&#39;t think about it or talk about it, um, except in passing and like, where were you, which they&#39;ve uh done many times. And they don&#39;t have any anxiety about getting on planes. In fact, they&#39;re just completely desensitized to general violence around the world because they live in 2024, where there are things like school shootings and then um, you know, uh terrible things on TV. Anyway, anyway, let&#39;s let&#39;s reframe that. You have had a huge week, right? Because we have all had a huge week. David: 11:19 Yeah, we&#39;ve all had a huge week, but you, but me specifically. Yes, I have my first uh school-aged, I guess, child. He uh my son went to kindergarten this past week for the first time, and it was uh is just uh you know a big change in our lives. So I wanted to um talk about it. Oh, what we haven&#39;t mentioned to our listener yet is we have no guests this week. Oh, right. We we are um we had a last minute cancellation of our guest, and that is totally fine. But we were like, you know what, let&#39;s record an episode anyway. Let&#39;s let&#39;s give the people what they didn&#39;t ask for and just talk even longer. And we get to name it the one with nobody, the one with nobody, unironically, so or the one with nobody&#39;s you and I, basically. But yeah, so I wanted to talk about all of our you and I&#39;s first day of school for this year. So my kid started kindergarten this year, and I wasn&#39;t you and I had talked about this a couple episodes ago. I wasn&#39;t nervous about it. I was slightly nervous about him being made fun of, but I was like, yeah, whatever, like let&#39;s do this. And so we go, and the first day you have to go, and they that you meet the teacher and you get in lines, and it&#39;s all outside the building, and it&#39;s this big, big thing, and they have all these it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s meant to be very um upbeat and fun, and they have like you know, picture taking stations or whatever. And my son woke up and he was like, I want to go to kindergarten, and he was so excited, and he was picking out his outfit, and we thought, oh, because my kid is mostly fragile and nervous and stuff like that. And so we get there and he&#39;s super happy, and we&#39;re looking at other all these other kids, and then his teacher comes and he meets his teacher for the first time, and she&#39;s super nice, and we&#39;re all just you know hanging out, and then they go, Okay, uh, everyone, last hugs, and then we&#39;re gonna go in by lines. Miss uh, my teacher&#39;s class, you&#39;re first, and so we give him a big hug, and that&#39;s when the tears just immediate tears. I felt the squeeze of his hands like on my shorts that he was like, he&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go. I&#39;m like, Yes, you&#39;ll be great. We do all the things, and the kids are now gone. The the line is moved, he&#39;s the only one having a meltdown, and we have to have an administrator come down and like take him out. And it was it&#39;s always hard to have a person peel your sobbing child off of you. Yeah, of course, and then they walk into the building. Uh-huh. And then that that that was it. And it was a it was a weird thing to kind of be like, you are now out of my sight in a building I&#39;ve never seen with people I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know how this day works because the you know back to school night isn&#39;t for a couple weeks. And it was a little unsettling in that way. Um, also, it was unsettling in a way of being gay dads, right? We&#39;re in this big courtyard with all the other kids and all the other parents, and we are the only gay dads there. It&#39;s very obvious. And so I&#39;m aware that other people might be aware. Gavin: 14:01 Right. David: 14:01 You know what I mean? Gavin: 14:02 I&#39;m I&#39;m doing that math that&#39;s completely overthinking it entirely in the world. David: 14:06 A hundred percent. I&#39;m certainly not overthinking it. Gavin: 14:08 They might clock it, but be like, oh, cool. David: 14:10 Maybe, but then I&#39;m like, does anybody care? Should I make note of that? Like, you you have to run those simulations...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David and going bi, we try and figure out how to talk about 9/11 to your kids, we debrief about our first week in school, Gavin depresses us with more companies bowing down to anti-DEI pressure, we rate the top 3 things that keep us ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David and going bi, we try and figure out how to talk about 9/11 to your kids, we debrief about our first week in school, Gavin depresses us with more companies bowing down to anti-DEI pressure, we rate the top 3 things that keep us up at night, and David isn&apos;t the only bear in the woods as he goes gay camping.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:02 Hi friends, we are Dads and Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I&#39;m Brian Rubin Sowers, a married dad of two. SPEAKER_01: 0:10 And I am Judson Morrow, a resident daddy. Join us for frank conversations and personal stories of sex, love, relationships, parenthood, daddyhood, addiction, and so much more. SPEAKER_00: 0:21 Find us on Instagram at Dads and Daddies Pod and listen to new episodes every Tuesday on all major platforms. Gavin: 0:30 I don&#39;t know. They&#39;re completely uh absolutely. David: 0:38 This was your second try, I want to remind you. This is your second go at this sentence. And this is Gatriarchy. Gavin: 0:59 So, David, how about that debate last night? David: 1:06 Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? Gavin: 1:09 How could you possibly say what are you talking about based upon how about the debate last night? David: 1:16 Because it&#39;s 10 49 a.m. on Tuesday. It is not Wednesday. And we are no longer lying to our listener. We are not recording this afterwards. Gavin: 1:26 I was texting with a friend about uh like dear basically saying a prayer on behalf of Kamala. And I was like, Dear Cher on Earth and Judy in the sky, please let her be smart enough but not too smart, strong enough but not too strong, and charming enough, but not too strong charming, so she doesn&#39;t scare America, which is afraid of women, and let her demean herself just enough so we can get her over the finish line and she can change the world for all women for all time and basically, you know, um change the course of history. David: 2:03 Just the narrowest needle to thread, like you were saying, because it&#39;s so true. But also, you know, you&#39;re like, you know, throw some of his shade back at him, but not too much to look like a fucking bitch. And you know, it&#39;s just like I I just I I don&#39;t know how she&#39;s gonna do it. I will not be watching, and here&#39;s why. I will tell you why. Really? Because the last the the one between Hillary and Trump scared me in such a foundational way of the world of like, if if this goes wrong, do I literally have to flee this country? I was also watching Handmaid&#39;s Tale at the time, which is Hey, this is a comedy. Gavin: 2:37 You&#39;re taking it down on that. David: 2:39 Sorry, sorry, but but it&#39;s the same thing here, where I&#39;m like, like if this goes horrible, kind of like the other one did, I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna have to start planning about it. But anyway, yeah, last night, great, huh? She did great. She was f she she threaded the needle like we knew she would. Um, I want to just mention uh Gavin and I often talk offline when we&#39;re planning the show and we&#39;re talking about things. And he said something the other day that made me laugh so hard. We were going over the download stats. We were looking, you know, we can see when our listeners, we can we know where you are, we know what device you&#39;re using, but also we can see, you know, every day who downloads what episodes. And we were just talking about how many people had downloaded this particular episode in the morning, um, like early in the morning, because our episodes release at 6 a.m. Eastern time. And Gavin&#39;s response was, Who are these people? Don&#39;t they have something better to do? Which I suppose is setting us up. Gavin: 3:30 Let&#39;s talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. But um, but I mean, it is it is thrilling to know that hopefully we are titillating somebody out there. And it&#39;s nice to be right away. David: 3:41 Our one listener. Uh, and with that, we are making a little bit of an announcement here. We here at Gatriarchs are going by. We&#39;re going by, we&#39;re we&#39;re we&#39;re by curious, um, and we&#39;re also going by weekly. Um, at least through the end of the year. We produce this podcast ourselves. We make a lot of dollar on this show. Um it is a ton of work, and we um think we&#39;d rather have fewer episodes that are better or at least medium than just keep pumping out every week. So through the end of the year, through 2024, we&#39;re gonna be going bi-weekly. We&#39;re still gonna be bringing you the same mediocre content by the same mediocre comedians from America&#39;s most uh most trustworthy news source. Um, we had asked you last episode, I believe, or that maybe it was the episode previous. Please, you know, send us your ideas, reach out, communicate, like interact, you know, uh just basically asking for you guys to um send us stuff and interact. And we appreciate those of you who did. And I especially appreciate whichever listener asshole out there signed us Gatriarchs Podcast up for ourtime.com, which is a seniors dating website, um and named us Anne. So we get emails every day where Anne has matches because Gatriarchs Podcast is now a member of our time. So whatever listener out there did that, fucking hilarious. Gavin: 5:07 Well, apparently, this person uh per your earlier topic of who are these people and don&#39;t they have something better to do? Apparently, this person did have something better to do and signed us up. So that&#39;s brilliant. That&#39;s hilarious. Thanks. Really funny. David: 5:18 I I will give you that. That&#39;s it. I I if it&#39;s for if it&#39;s comedy, uh, we&#39;re we&#39;re all for it. Gavin: 5:23 Yep, we are all for it. Speaking of comedy, uh it&#39;s 9-11. David: 5:29 I knew that transition was coming and it still it still hurt me. Yeah, it is 9-11. It is 9-11. Gavin: 5:35 Um, what&#39;s your brief where were you? Yeah, it&#39;s well, first of all, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to say that the thing that makes me think about 9-11 right now is that my children think of it, they know about 9-11. I don&#39;t think your kids do yet, but they study 9-11 like it is what? Ancient history. I mean it is. It is. I mean, when I think about the perspective of like, I grew up, you know, uh in okay, not in World War II, but World War II was such truly ancient history because it was 40 years in the past. Now 9-11 is only 24 years in the past. Wait, 23 years. 23 years, sorry. I I do math. And um, but of course, to a little kid who uh it&#39;s it is ancient history. Um, so my kids talk about it and they&#39;re like, Yeah, whatever. I mean, but they do ask me, what were you doing on that day? And which is, you know, important discussions to be had, but still it&#39;s ancient history to them, which is just bizarre. David: 6:33 It is, and it&#39;s always weird because it&#39;s just another marker of saying how old you are. Because I, you know, we all remember our parents being like, oh, the blah, blah, blah, blah. And you&#39;re like, that&#39;s so old, you old piece of shit. And now we&#39;re the old pieces of shit. I, embarrassingly, I was in college and I was in a tanning bed. Um, and it was very early in the morning, and I was a grown-ass man living in Florida going to college. Tanning. In a tanning bed. A what I and for those of you who don&#39;t know what I look like, I am white, white. I have blonde hair, I have pale skin. There are so many things to pick apart here. There is no reason my blanco ass should be in a tanning bed. Gavin: 7:13 When you live in Florida, can&#39;t you just walk outside for 15 minutes and do the same thing and save yourself 32.50? Sure can. David: 7:20 Sure can. Gavin: 7:21 Okay. David: 7:21 But was I doing it? No. So I was in a tanning bed and it was, I was the first customer that was like, you know, it was like 9 a.m. and I the doors open and I pop right in there. And I come out and she has the TV on, and she&#39;s like, oh, I think, you know, I think something weird has happened in New York City or whatever. But it was just so funny because when everyone goes like, where were you? Where were you? I was like, I was I was at a fucking tanning bed in Tallahassee, Florida. Gavin: 7:44 You life changed in those 20 minutes that you gave yourself skin cancer. David: 7:48 And I turned on the, you know, went home and I turned on the news and I was watching it. And I have I had a uh like a um what do they call it? The the the rewind cameras were they called? Gavin: 7:59 A rewind camera. Uh a GoPro? David: 8:01 No, where you like pull the um a throwaway camera, like a like a throwaway camera. Gavin: 8:06 A point and shoot? No, like the kind a disposable camera. David: 8:10 Disposable. This was two old people trying to come up with the word of the thing. Yes, this was it was a disposable camera. I took pictures of the television on a disposable camera that I had to get printed at a print shop. Um, in case you&#39;re wondering how old I was. So um you were three years old. Gavin: 8:30 Oh, do you still have those pictures? David: 8:32 I still have those pictures. Gavin: 8:33 Why do you think you did that? David: 8:35 Because I was watching when the second plane hit, and I remember taking a picture of that particular moment that they kept replaying. Yeah. Um, because they had video footage of it, and I have photos of that. It&#39;s in a box somewhere in my mom&#39;s house. Where were you? Gavin: 8:50 Uh I was waiting tables that day in New York. I had just moved to New York. Wow. I&#39;m just a little older than you. And uh, but I worked at a restaurant called the Atlantic Grill that I think is still there at 77th and 3rd. Or no, actually, I think it&#39;s gone. But anyway, 77th and 3rd. And um, so I was um waiting tables at the they gave me the outdoor cafe that day. Um, we were short staffed, so I had to do two sections, and one of them was the outdoor cafe. And I&#39;m like, nobody&#39;s gonna come to the outdoor cafe to eat here. This is ridiculous. But because I was outdoors, um, I saw the streaming of people walking north on Third Avenue. So that was surreal, obviously. Seeing, you know, no traffic, no cars, just people walking. And the cafe was packed, and people were drinking. So, needless to say, for a waiter, you&#39;re like, I&#39;m actually gonna make a fair amount of money today. David: 9:46 Um is that is that the message you want to bring out into the world? Was that 9/11 was fiscally beneficial to you? Gavin: 9:53 And I donated all of it to the firefighters fund immediately the next day. David: 10:00 Anyways, but I think what&#39;s interesting from our podcast point of view is like how do you talk about it with your kids who have no concept of that? They you, you know, we like when people talk about Vietnam War or any of this kind of stuff, it just strikes nothing emotional in me. And the thing that&#39;s hard to explain to them is like a time where information wasn&#39;t at your fingertips, where you couldn&#39;t see things in real time and you just heard rumors and you had to piece together information. And the feeling of we don&#39;t know what&#39;s happening, yeah, and not knowing what&#39;s happening in the world was such a terrifying. And that&#39;s hard to translate to children who was like, well, just look online, what&#39;s going on online? Yeah. Um, so that&#39;s that&#39;s gonna be a hard thing to do. Also, you know, my kids are so young, it&#39;s gonna be weird to talk about planes flying into buildings and then us get on a plane somewhere and not, you know what I mean? So I think I&#39;m gonna hold off on a for a while. But your kids are older, they&#39;re studying it, you say. Gavin: 10:52 No, yeah. No, luckily, my kids don&#39;t think about it or talk about it, um, except in passing and like, where were you, which they&#39;ve uh done many times. And they don&#39;t have any anxiety about getting on planes. In fact, they&#39;re just completely desensitized to general violence around the world because they live in 2024, where there are things like school shootings and then um, you know, uh terrible things on TV. Anyway, anyway, let&#39;s let&#39;s reframe that. You have had a huge week, right? Because we have all had a huge week. David: 11:19 Yeah, we&#39;ve all had a huge week, but you, but me specifically. Yes, I have my first uh school-aged, I guess, child. He uh my son went to kindergarten this past week for the first time, and it was uh is just uh you know a big change in our lives. So I wanted to um talk about it. Oh, what we haven&#39;t mentioned to our listener yet is we have no guests this week. Oh, right. We we are um we had a last minute cancellation of our guest, and that is totally fine. But we were like, you know what, let&#39;s record an episode anyway. Let&#39;s let&#39;s give the people what they didn&#39;t ask for and just talk even longer. And we get to name it the one with nobody, the one with nobody, unironically, so or the one with nobody&#39;s you and I, basically. But yeah, so I wanted to talk about all of our you and I&#39;s first day of school for this year. So my kid started kindergarten this year, and I wasn&#39;t you and I had talked about this a couple episodes ago. I wasn&#39;t nervous about it. I was slightly nervous about him being made fun of, but I was like, yeah, whatever, like let&#39;s do this. And so we go, and the first day you have to go, and they that you meet the teacher and you get in lines, and it&#39;s all outside the building, and it&#39;s this big, big thing, and they have all these it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s meant to be very um upbeat and fun, and they have like you know, picture taking stations or whatever. And my son woke up and he was like, I want to go to kindergarten, and he was so excited, and he was picking out his outfit, and we thought, oh, because my kid is mostly fragile and nervous and stuff like that. And so we get there and he&#39;s super happy, and we&#39;re looking at other all these other kids, and then his teacher comes and he meets his teacher for the first time, and she&#39;s super nice, and we&#39;re all just you know hanging out, and then they go, Okay, uh, everyone, last hugs, and then we&#39;re gonna go in by lines. Miss uh, my teacher&#39;s class, you&#39;re first, and so we give him a big hug, and that&#39;s when the tears just immediate tears. I felt the squeeze of his hands like on my shorts that he was like, he&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go. I&#39;m like, Yes, you&#39;ll be great. We do all the things, and the kids are now gone. The the line is moved, he&#39;s the only one having a meltdown, and we have to have an administrator come down and like take him out. And it was it&#39;s always hard to have a person peel your sobbing child off of you. Yeah, of course, and then they walk into the building. Uh-huh. And then that that that was it. And it was a it was a weird thing to kind of be like, you are now out of my sight in a building I&#39;ve never seen with people I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know how this day works because the you know back to school night isn&#39;t for a couple weeks. And it was a little unsettling in that way. Um, also, it was unsettling in a way of being gay dads, right? We&#39;re in this big courtyard with all the other kids and all the other parents, and we are the only gay dads there. It&#39;s very obvious. And so I&#39;m aware that other people might be aware. Gavin: 14:01 Right. David: 14:01 You know what I mean? Gavin: 14:02 I&#39;m I&#39;m doing that math that&#39;s completely overthinking it entirely in the world. David: 14:06 A hundred percent. I&#39;m certainly not overthinking it. Gavin: 14:08 They might clock it, but be like, oh, cool. David: 14:10 Maybe, but then I&#39;m like, does anybody care? Should I make note of that? Like, you you have to run those simulations...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David and going bi, we try and figure out how to talk about 9/11 to your kids, we debrief about our first week in school, Gavin depresses us with more companies bowing down to anti-DEI pressure, we rate the top 3 things that keep us up at night, and David isn&apos;t the only bear in the woods as he goes gay camping.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:02 Hi friends, we are Dads and Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I&#39;m Brian Rubin Sowers, a married dad of two. SPEAKER_01: 0:10 And I am Judson Morrow, a resident daddy. Join us for frank conversations and personal stories of sex, love, relationships, parenthood, daddyhood, addiction, and so much more. SPEAKER_00: 0:21 Find us on Instagram at Dads and Daddies Pod and listen to new episodes every Tuesday on all major platforms. Gavin: 0:30 I don&#39;t know. They&#39;re completely uh absolutely. David: 0:38 This was your second try, I want to remind you. This is your second go at this sentence. And this is Gatriarchy. Gavin: 0:59 So, David, how about that debate last night? David: 1:06 Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? Gavin: 1:09 How could you possibly say what are you talking about based upon how about the debate last night? David: 1:16 Because it&#39;s 10 49 a.m. on Tuesday. It is not Wednesday. And we are no longer lying to our listener. We are not recording this afterwards. Gavin: 1:26 I was texting with a friend about uh like dear basically saying a prayer on behalf of Kamala. And I was like, Dear Cher on Earth and Judy in the sky, please let her be smart enough but not too smart, strong enough but not too strong, and charming enough, but not too strong charming, so she doesn&#39;t scare America, which is afraid of women, and let her demean herself just enough so we can get her over the finish line and she can change the world for all women for all time and basically, you know, um change the course of history. David: 2:03 Just the narrowest needle to thread, like you were saying, because it&#39;s so true. But also, you know, you&#39;re like, you know, throw some of his shade back at him, but not too much to look like a fucking bitch. And you know, it&#39;s just like I I just I I don&#39;t know how she&#39;s gonna do it. I will not be watching, and here&#39;s why. I will tell you why. Really? Because the last the the one between Hillary and Trump scared me in such a foundational way of the world of like, if if this goes wrong, do I literally have to flee this country? I was also watching Handmaid&#39;s Tale at the time, which is Hey, this is a comedy. Gavin: 2:37 You&#39;re taking it down on that. David: 2:39 Sorry, sorry, but but it&#39;s the same thing here, where I&#39;m like, like if this goes horrible, kind of like the other one did, I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna have to start planning about it. But anyway, yeah, last night, great, huh? She did great. She was f she she threaded the needle like we knew she would. Um, I want to just mention uh Gavin and I often talk offline when we&#39;re planning the show and we&#39;re talking about things. And he said something the other day that made me laugh so hard. We were going over the download stats. We were looking, you know, we can see when our listeners, we can we know where you are, we know what device you&#39;re using, but also we can see, you know, every day who downloads what episodes. And we were just talking about how many people had downloaded this particular episode in the morning, um, like early in the morning, because our episodes release at 6 a.m. Eastern time. And Gavin&#39;s response was, Who are these people? Don&#39;t they have something better to do? Which I suppose is setting us up. Gavin: 3:30 Let&#39;s talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. But um, but I mean, it is it is thrilling to know that hopefu]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin and David and going bi, we try and figure out how to talk about 9/11 to your kids, we debrief about our first week in school, Gavin depresses us with more companies bowing down to anti-DEI pressure, we rate the top 3 things that keep us up at night, and David isn&apos;t the only bear in the woods as he goes gay camping.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:02 Hi friends, we are Dads and Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I&#39;m Brian Rubin Sowers, a married dad of two. SPEAKER_01: 0:10 And I am Judson Morrow, a resident daddy. Join us for frank conversations and personal stories of sex, love, relationships, parenthood, daddyhood, addiction, and so much more. SPEAKER_00: 0:21 Find us on Instagram at Dads and Daddies Pod and listen to new episodes every Tuesday on all major platforms. Gavin: 0:30 I do]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Jose Monkey</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jose-monkey/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Sep 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s Mom is vibes, Gavin buys his daughter&apos;s love, it&apos;s a last week of daycare and a first week of middle school, we rank the top 3 most satisfying sounds, and this week we are joined by geolocater and TikTok megaladon Jose Monkey who talks to us about online security for parents, why Tom Lennon called one of his videos &#34;the funniest thing he&apos;s ever seen,&#34; and David admits that he has a major crush on Jose Monkey&apos;s alter ego, Chad. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um I&#39;m definitely impressed with that. And though we do follow an a um an outline there. Uh please. I was looking up something else, and so I distracted myself right here. And I saw clearly I can&#39;t. David: 0:15 I saw your face just go, oh no, I&#39;m I&#39;m failing, and David&#39;s watching me, and he&#39;s gonna use this to open the show. What do I do? And this is Gatriarch. So I have two private Instagrams for my kids, and it&#39;s just for like friends and family to see the dump of pictures so I don&#39;t inundate people on Facebook and it&#39;s private. Gavin: 0:49 So yeah, you know. But it is also that makes me think then you have to manage two more Instagram accounts, and that&#39;s exhausting to me already. David: 0:56 It is, but all I do is post and go. Like post one photo a day, and then I I don&#39;t even monitor. Nice. Well, the uh my mom, who is our listener, hi shout out, mom. Um who um, I won&#39;t reveal her age because she&#39;d get mad at me, but she&#39;s she&#39;s she&#39;s got a life behind her, if you know what I mean. Is she even older than me? Nobody&#39;s older than you, Gavin, except the pterodactyl I saw at the museum the other day. But she commented on a photo, and it was my son and my daughter sharing an ice cream. And my son was feeding my daughter ice cream. This was before the fight, and they threw it across the parking lot. But um, her comment was really good big brother vibes, smiley face. And I was like, ma&#39;am, you are way too old to use vibes. I&#39;m too old to use the word vibes, but she used it appropriately. So I want to give a shout out to our listener, my mom, for commenting really good big brother vibes on the Instagram because I laughed out loud. I was like, my mom is using vibes, vibes, vibes, vibes. Gavin: 1:56 Okay, so as our listener probably knows, we do follow an outline here as we talk amongst, you know, a thousand miles apart from each other on the Zoom world or the Riverside world. But anyway, I saw this out in the outline and I thought to myself, what struck me about that is big brother vibes, and me thinking that you were gonna go down a George or William academic track. Really? Like, oh god, it&#39;s like a sensor big brother following and creepily stalking his little sister. David: 2:26 No, that&#39;s your that&#39;s your that&#39;s your your your thoughtful like thought experiments, you know, think piece kind of thing. That&#39;s you. I&#39;m I&#39;m here for dick jokes and making fun of you. Gavin: 2:36 Totally, totally, totally, totally. Well, okay, not at all along those lines, except maybe ice cream and enjoying sweet shit. Uh, my so for many months I was talking about makeup and that it just drives me crazy that the TikTok capitalist sphere is making my daughter think that her perfect complexion is not perfect enough. So she has to buy a bunch of crap, right? From Sephora, Sephora, Sephora. Well, I did realize that the capitalist industrial complex is now selling also tweens and teens energy drinks, in particular Celsius. So you know what Celsius is, right? I do. David: 3:13 I mean, yeah, I mean, I&#39;m just I&#39;m just shocked that like the everyone&#39;s trying to get perfect prepubescent skin and perfect prepubescent energy levels. And they&#39;re like, what are you doing? This is the this is the fountain of youth here. Gavin: 3:26 Yes, and there is so much caffeine in the Celsius, as I&#39;m sure you are aware, that there is something that is absolutely toxic that they pour are pouring into their body, which then they definitely are going to need skincare treatments afterwards because the Celsius is probably rotting their bodies from the inside out, right? So I took a firm hard stand and said, daughter, I will never ever buy you a Celsius. It is so bad. There are 400, I believe that&#39;s the let&#39;s just say 4,000. 4,000 milligrams of caffeine in a Celsius, and a coffee has 180, which is probably too much, too. No, noticeably a Coke is less. And you know how Europeans are always like, you know, there&#39;s more caffeine in a Coke than in coffee. And by Europeans, I mean, I don&#39;t know, pretentious people who unsolicited at the end of the day. David: 4:14 You&#39;ve just offended like 10 countries with that accent. I don&#39;t even know who that was, but there wasn&#39;t an accent, it was just pretension. Gavin: 4:20 Anyway, so uh there is way too much caffeine for anybody to have in a cell seats, and it&#39;s more than Red Bull, it&#39;s more than monster. It&#39;s it is off the charts, right? It&#39;s just out of the charts. Anyway, so since I said I would never do it, what are we on this show? If nothing else, hypocrites. So I I wanted to be a cool dad a couple days a week ago. I don&#39;t know, it was a special outing, and I was like, oh, screw it. David: 4:44 Your daughter, destroy your body. I&#39;m a cool dad. Gavin: 4:47 I mean, listen, the love, the genuine love in her eyeballs as her head exploded, even before having the caffeine, was kind of worth it. David: 4:56 Um as the cancer grew in her veins, she was like, I love my father. Gavin: 5:01 I do have to say, there have been so many times in our parenting journey that we say no to stuff, and ultimately then we, my my family, my partner and I, and then sometimes we just relent, and then the and then the fixation is over, and she kind of moves on with it. Like I bought a Celsius and she hasn&#39;t asked for Celsius, thank God. Also, she only drank a third of it to her credit because they&#39;re what? Disgusting. David: 5:22 Anyway, because she was probably sick to her stomach. Gavin: 5:24 Yeah, yeah. Right. David: 5:26 It&#39;s my my roommate, my first roommate when I moved to New York City was a Red Bull, like, I don&#39;t know, spokesman. I don&#39;t know what it is, where they drive the little car and they go to different places. So in our kitchen, we had just cases and cases, and I would drink it just like soda, just like 10 a day. Not thinking anything. Yeah, I was I was an insane person. Gavin: 5:43 Did you feel did you feel it? I have listen, I I&#39;m a complete energy drink virgin. I mean, okay, maybe I&#39;ve had a sip, so that&#39;s just like I don&#39;t know if it makes me feel energetic. David: 5:54 It just makes me feel weird and buzzy, and I I don&#39;t know why people do it. I I get enough excitement trying to sleep and not injure myself. So speaking of injuring myself, this is our last week of daycare. Ooh, right after my son, he he has been going here since he was a little baby, just learning how to walk. He&#39;s been through all the rooms in this daycare up to pre-K3, and now he&#39;s graduating pre-K4. Wow. And it is, of course, a week of parties and hugs and crying, and some of the kids have already left. Gavin: 6:24 But it is a Did you bring, did you have to bring treats and mac and cheese? Today I baked stuff. David: 6:28 I made a homemade mac and cheese plain. I made it plain. Um, I baked cookies. Yeah, I had to bring all the decorations, all that stuff. But it is a weird, bittersweet moment of like, you know, we talked about parenting is just a bunch of goodbyes, right? Like no non-stop goodbyes. But it is weird because like this is a such a formative, the first, you know, five years of this kid&#39;s life were spent in this building. Now it&#39;s not like we&#39;re gonna never be here ever again because my daughter still goes here, it&#39;s attached to the gym I go to, but it is it is kind of bittersweet because the following week he goes to kindergarten. And uh so um, yeah, it&#39;s wait, so you but you&#39;ve got a week off in between. Yeah, so the week the it&#39;s it&#39;s kind of like a week off. So like my son will be home and uh my daughter will still be going to daycare, but yeah. What are you waiting what what are you gonna do with him? What am I gonna do with him? I&#39;m gonna you hark him in front of an iPad, Gavin. What do you think I&#39;m gonna do? Gavin: 7:17 I was gonna say you you are totally inexperienced in the ways of having your child with you 24-7. David: 7:23 No, I&#39;m gonna hire a professional to deal with him. I&#39;m not gonna deal with my own son for three hours a day. Gavin: 7:28 Well, speaking of lasts, um, we I now have two middle schoolers. Yesterday was our first day of school. And um, if if we had listeners across the country, they&#39;d be like, wait, where didn&#39;t school start like a month ago? But now we&#39;re on the east coast, it&#39;s all over the place. David: 7:42 But it&#39;s not just east coast, it&#39;s like in my area where I live, and in my town, it starts a certain day. The town over it starts three days after that. The town over on the other side of that starts three days before that. It&#39;s it nothing makes sense. Gavin: 7:54 I know, but I mean, most of everybody west of I don&#39;t know, the Mississippi River started a month ago, you know. So anyway, um, so we have two middle schoolers, and that is so bittersweet. And we took the picture, of course, as you do, and um and it, I mean, just watching them walk in together, one in front of the other, because god forbid they actually walk together and show that they actually have esteem for each other&#39;s um that is what it is. But like, hey, two middle schoolers. Um, I am preparing for I this is the beginning of the end for me. They won&#39;t like me, they won&#39;t smile, they won&#39;t engage me in the morning, etc. You know? David: 8:30 So yeah. And it&#39;s also like at from their point of view, I remember middle school for me at least, like the most horrific time in school. What uh at all because everyone was mean, everyone was trying to make fun of you. I was like becoming the gayness was bubbling inside of me. Gavin: 8:45 Yeah, it was just like insecurities are so crippling. Um yeah. I uh the man, we&#39;ve said I think we&#39;ve said it before, and I&#39;ll say it a million times over. Middle school teachers, they don&#39;t get paid over sainthood? David: 8:57 No, of course they don&#39;t. No teachers do, but um, so you you know who else is a saint? Is our listener. Our listener. I love our set, I love our listeners. They are wonderful. Um we you and I have met them once or twice. Yes, um, but I want to plead to our listener. We have gotten a lot of really great Instagram uh DMs and emails from you guys, suggestions, even just general compliments. We&#39;ve gotten some of those and we really appreciate it. We want more of them because Gavin and I have painted ourselves into a corner to release one episode every week for the rest of our lives. And we would love your help. We want your, your, your thoughts. We want you to tell us what Gavin did that you hated. We want you to tell us what I did that you loved. We also want your ideas. We had our back to school episode was because of our listener. So please continue to send us stuff via DMs, even if it&#39;s just a dick pic. Send us stuff, activate with us. We need your help. Gavin: 9:50 We are loving every step of this process, and it, but it&#39;s a lot of work, and we ain&#39;t complaining, but we are also like crawling on hands and knees to get across the finish line every single week. And it&#39;s a pleasure. But um, give us a hand, huh? Send us guests also, okay? Shall you? Um, obviously, one of the reasons that our listeners stays engaged with us is because we are America&#39;s finest news source, right? David: 10:12 Always have been, always will be. Gavin: 10:13 I have an update for you. Remember how Harley Davidson was like, you know what? Screw those people at Tractor Supply and at John Deere. We are gonna stick with our people. We&#39;re gonna be a company of the people, and all people are included, right? Do you already know the update, Harley Davidson? David: 10:29 I don&#39;t know the update, but I&#39;m just my heart is preparing to. Gavin: 10:32 You can hear in my voice that they have been like, never mind, we&#39;re not gonna be the DEI people and screw the gays. And um, you know, not in such explicit language, but um another one bites the dust. And guess what? Another one is biting the dust. It is Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels, which you know is a staple at gay bars across the entire country, right? SPEAKER_02: 10:51 Yeah. Gavin: 10:52 Um, they have also said they&#39;re gonna dump their DEI initiatives and they&#39;re not gonna be big old um uh sponsors in pride parades, et cetera, et cetera. David: 11:01 Wait, do you mean Jack Daniels or Jacking guys named Daniel? Because I I&#39;m interested in both. I want Jack Daniels to please comment on that question. But you know what? Can I just say something to all the homophobes who are listening to right now? I know our listener is probably homophobic, and that&#39;s fine. That&#39;s totally fine. We accept all people. Homophobia, y&#39;all, is so boring. It&#39;s so it&#39;s this like anti, like it is so incredibly boring. You&#39;re not ruffling our feathers, yeah, you&#39;re not getting us, you&#39;re not like getting a lib. It is the most boring thing in the entire world. So find something new. Find something. Gavin: 11:43 Yeah, everybody needs an enemy, but how about we this is so 20 years ago. Come on, so 20 years ago. So uh, but I was a little curious about this Jack Daniels situation. Like, what is going on here? And the coverage of it is showing that there&#39;s one douchebag out there who&#39;s after all of these companies and is taking them down single-handedly with his following. And it&#39;s a guy named Robbie Starbuck. Have you ever heard that name? He&#39;s a right-wing, you know, commentator. He has probably a podcast with three or four listeners, and he and he gets those three or four listeners, okay, three or four million listeners, and they are an army and they have been going after these companies right and left. And he claims on his Twitter profile that he is a director. And I&#39;m like, what? What has he directed? Because he says he used to direct stars and now he directs something else as his own catch line. I mean, this guy is such a fraudster. He isn&#39;t a Hollywood type, although he tries to do all sorts of name-dropping in IMDb, but he&#39;s done nothing of of interest. Um now he&#39;s produced a movie with his wife about basically the vast queer rings conspiracy to indoctrinate all kids, but they can&#39;t get it. They can&#39;t get it to for brunch. We want them all to appreciate brunch. David: 12:54 That&#39;s it. All that is we&#39;ve said this before. The gay agenda, brunch, end of life. Gavin: 12:58 Well, he is out to destroy brunch, basically. Okay, and um, and he has gone after all of these companies. I mean, this dude and his army are single-handedly responsible for bringing down the well, you know, the this these initiatives with Tractor Supply, John Deere, Harley Davidson, Jack Daniels. Shout out to Robbie Starbuck. Robbie Starbuck, if you&#39;re listening, do you want to come talk about uh do you want to come see if you could be a Gatriarch? Come on, dude. David: 13:22 First of all, Robbie Starbuck, get a new name. Get a new name. Second of all, you&#39;re boring. It is the most boring thing in the world. It&#39;s basically a gay poor name, and we&#39;re bored with you. Go find something else to do. Um, you know what else is really, really boring? Uh our top three list. Gay three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my week. It is the top three most satisfying sounds. Top three most satisfying sounds. Now, what it my my initial instinct was like going for like the crackling fire, rain kind of soothing moment. But...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s Mom is vibes, Gavin buys his daughter&apos;s love, it&apos;s a last week of daycare and a first week of middle school, we rank the top 3 most satisfying sounds, and this week we are joined by geolocater and TikTok megaladon Jose M]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s Mom is vibes, Gavin buys his daughter&apos;s love, it&apos;s a last week of daycare and a first week of middle school, we rank the top 3 most satisfying sounds, and this week we are joined by geolocater and TikTok megaladon Jose Monkey who talks to us about online security for parents, why Tom Lennon called one of his videos &#34;the funniest thing he&apos;s ever seen,&#34; and David admits that he has a major crush on Jose Monkey&apos;s alter ego, Chad. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um I&#39;m definitely impressed with that. And though we do follow an a um an outline there. Uh please. I was looking up something else, and so I distracted myself right here. And I saw clearly I can&#39;t. David: 0:15 I saw your face just go, oh no, I&#39;m I&#39;m failing, and David&#39;s watching me, and he&#39;s gonna use this to open the show. What do I do? And this is Gatriarch. So I have two private Instagrams for my kids, and it&#39;s just for like friends and family to see the dump of pictures so I don&#39;t inundate people on Facebook and it&#39;s private. Gavin: 0:49 So yeah, you know. But it is also that makes me think then you have to manage two more Instagram accounts, and that&#39;s exhausting to me already. David: 0:56 It is, but all I do is post and go. Like post one photo a day, and then I I don&#39;t even monitor. Nice. Well, the uh my mom, who is our listener, hi shout out, mom. Um who um, I won&#39;t reveal her age because she&#39;d get mad at me, but she&#39;s she&#39;s she&#39;s got a life behind her, if you know what I mean. Is she even older than me? Nobody&#39;s older than you, Gavin, except the pterodactyl I saw at the museum the other day. But she commented on a photo, and it was my son and my daughter sharing an ice cream. And my son was feeding my daughter ice cream. This was before the fight, and they threw it across the parking lot. But um, her comment was really good big brother vibes, smiley face. And I was like, ma&#39;am, you are way too old to use vibes. I&#39;m too old to use the word vibes, but she used it appropriately. So I want to give a shout out to our listener, my mom, for commenting really good big brother vibes on the Instagram because I laughed out loud. I was like, my mom is using vibes, vibes, vibes, vibes. Gavin: 1:56 Okay, so as our listener probably knows, we do follow an outline here as we talk amongst, you know, a thousand miles apart from each other on the Zoom world or the Riverside world. But anyway, I saw this out in the outline and I thought to myself, what struck me about that is big brother vibes, and me thinking that you were gonna go down a George or William academic track. Really? Like, oh god, it&#39;s like a sensor big brother following and creepily stalking his little sister. David: 2:26 No, that&#39;s your that&#39;s your that&#39;s your your your thoughtful like thought experiments, you know, think piece kind of thing. That&#39;s you. I&#39;m I&#39;m here for dick jokes and making fun of you. Gavin: 2:36 Totally, totally, totally, totally. Well, okay, not at all along those lines, except maybe ice cream and enjoying sweet shit. Uh, my so for many months I was talking about makeup and that it just drives me crazy that the TikTok capitalist sphere is making my daughter think that her perfect complexion is not perfect enough. So she has to buy a bunch of crap, right? From Sephora, Sephora, Sephora. Well, I did realize that the capitalist industrial complex is now selling also tweens and teens energy drinks, in particular Celsius. So you know what Celsius is, right? I do. David: 3:13 I mean, yeah, I mean, I&#39;m just I&#39;m just shocked that like the everyone&#39;s trying to get perfect prepubescent skin and perfect prepubescent energy levels. And they&#39;re like, what are you doing? This is the this is the fountain of youth here. Gavin: 3:26 Yes, and there is so much caffeine in the Celsius, as I&#39;m sure you are aware, that there is something that is absolutely toxic that they pour are pouring into their body, which then they definitely are going to need skincare treatments afterwards because the Celsius is probably rotting their bodies from the inside out, right? So I took a firm hard stand and said, daughter, I will never ever buy you a Celsius. It is so bad. There are 400, I believe that&#39;s the let&#39;s just say 4,000. 4,000 milligrams of caffeine in a Celsius, and a coffee has 180, which is probably too much, too. No, noticeably a Coke is less. And you know how Europeans are always like, you know, there&#39;s more caffeine in a Coke than in coffee. And by Europeans, I mean, I don&#39;t know, pretentious people who unsolicited at the end of the day. David: 4:14 You&#39;ve just offended like 10 countries with that accent. I don&#39;t even know who that was, but there wasn&#39;t an accent, it was just pretension. Gavin: 4:20 Anyway, so uh there is way too much caffeine for anybody to have in a cell seats, and it&#39;s more than Red Bull, it&#39;s more than monster. It&#39;s it is off the charts, right? It&#39;s just out of the charts. Anyway, so since I said I would never do it, what are we on this show? If nothing else, hypocrites. So I I wanted to be a cool dad a couple days a week ago. I don&#39;t know, it was a special outing, and I was like, oh, screw it. David: 4:44 Your daughter, destroy your body. I&#39;m a cool dad. Gavin: 4:47 I mean, listen, the love, the genuine love in her eyeballs as her head exploded, even before having the caffeine, was kind of worth it. David: 4:56 Um as the cancer grew in her veins, she was like, I love my father. Gavin: 5:01 I do have to say, there have been so many times in our parenting journey that we say no to stuff, and ultimately then we, my my family, my partner and I, and then sometimes we just relent, and then the and then the fixation is over, and she kind of moves on with it. Like I bought a Celsius and she hasn&#39;t asked for Celsius, thank God. Also, she only drank a third of it to her credit because they&#39;re what? Disgusting. David: 5:22 Anyway, because she was probably sick to her stomach. Gavin: 5:24 Yeah, yeah. Right. David: 5:26 It&#39;s my my roommate, my first roommate when I moved to New York City was a Red Bull, like, I don&#39;t know, spokesman. I don&#39;t know what it is, where they drive the little car and they go to different places. So in our kitchen, we had just cases and cases, and I would drink it just like soda, just like 10 a day. Not thinking anything. Yeah, I was I was an insane person. Gavin: 5:43 Did you feel did you feel it? I have listen, I I&#39;m a complete energy drink virgin. I mean, okay, maybe I&#39;ve had a sip, so that&#39;s just like I don&#39;t know if it makes me feel energetic. David: 5:54 It just makes me feel weird and buzzy, and I I don&#39;t know why people do it. I I get enough excitement trying to sleep and not injure myself. So speaking of injuring myself, this is our last week of daycare. Ooh, right after my son, he he has been going here since he was a little baby, just learning how to walk. He&#39;s been through all the rooms in this daycare up to pre-K3, and now he&#39;s graduating pre-K4. Wow. And it is, of course, a week of parties and hugs and crying, and some of the kids have already left. Gavin: 6:24 But it is a Did you bring, did you have to bring treats and mac and cheese? Today I baked stuff. David: 6:28 I made a homemade mac and cheese plain. I made it plain. Um, I baked cookies. Yeah, I had to bring all the decorations, all that stuff. But it is a weird, bittersweet moment of like, you know, we talked about parenting is just a bunch of goodbyes, right? Like no non-stop goodbyes. But it is weird because like this is a such a formative, the first, you know, five years of this kid&#39;s life were spent in this building. Now it&#39;s not like we&#39;re gonna never be here ever again because my daughter still goes here, it&#39;s attached to the gym I go to, but it is it is kind of bittersweet because the following week he goes to kindergarten. And uh so um, yeah, it&#39;s wait, so you but you&#39;ve got a week off in between. Yeah, so the week the it&#39;s it&#39;s kind of like a week off. So like my son will be home and uh my daughter will still be going to daycare, but yeah. What are you waiting what what are you gonna do with him? What am I gonna do with him? I&#39;m gonna you hark him in front of an iPad, Gavin. What do you think I&#39;m gonna do? Gavin: 7:17 I was gonna say you you are totally inexperienced in the ways of having your child with you 24-7. David: 7:23 No, I&#39;m gonna hire a professional to deal with him. I&#39;m not gonna deal with my own son for three hours a day. Gavin: 7:28 Well, speaking of lasts, um, we I now have two middle schoolers. Yesterday was our first day of school. And um, if if we had listeners across the country, they&#39;d be like, wait, where didn&#39;t school start like a month ago? But now we&#39;re on the east coast, it&#39;s all over the place. David: 7:42 But it&#39;s not just east coast, it&#39;s like in my area where I live, and in my town, it starts a certain day. The town over it starts three days after that. The town over on the other side of that starts three days before that. It&#39;s it nothing makes sense. Gavin: 7:54 I know, but I mean, most of everybody west of I don&#39;t know, the Mississippi River started a month ago, you know. So anyway, um, so we have two middle schoolers, and that is so bittersweet. And we took the picture, of course, as you do, and um and it, I mean, just watching them walk in together, one in front of the other, because god forbid they actually walk together and show that they actually have esteem for each other&#39;s um that is what it is. But like, hey, two middle schoolers. Um, I am preparing for I this is the beginning of the end for me. They won&#39;t like me, they won&#39;t smile, they won&#39;t engage me in the morning, etc. You know? David: 8:30 So yeah. And it&#39;s also like at from their point of view, I remember middle school for me at least, like the most horrific time in school. What uh at all because everyone was mean, everyone was trying to make fun of you. I was like becoming the gayness was bubbling inside of me. Gavin: 8:45 Yeah, it was just like insecurities are so crippling. Um yeah. I uh the man, we&#39;ve said I think we&#39;ve said it before, and I&#39;ll say it a million times over. Middle school teachers, they don&#39;t get paid over sainthood? David: 8:57 No, of course they don&#39;t. No teachers do, but um, so you you know who else is a saint? Is our listener. Our listener. I love our set, I love our listeners. They are wonderful. Um we you and I have met them once or twice. Yes, um, but I want to plead to our listener. We have gotten a lot of really great Instagram uh DMs and emails from you guys, suggestions, even just general compliments. We&#39;ve gotten some of those and we really appreciate it. We want more of them because Gavin and I have painted ourselves into a corner to release one episode every week for the rest of our lives. And we would love your help. We want your, your, your thoughts. We want you to tell us what Gavin did that you hated. We want you to tell us what I did that you loved. We also want your ideas. We had our back to school episode was because of our listener. So please continue to send us stuff via DMs, even if it&#39;s just a dick pic. Send us stuff, activate with us. We need your help. Gavin: 9:50 We are loving every step of this process, and it, but it&#39;s a lot of work, and we ain&#39;t complaining, but we are also like crawling on hands and knees to get across the finish line every single week. And it&#39;s a pleasure. But um, give us a hand, huh? Send us guests also, okay? Shall you? Um, obviously, one of the reasons that our listeners stays engaged with us is because we are America&#39;s finest news source, right? David: 10:12 Always have been, always will be. Gavin: 10:13 I have an update for you. Remember how Harley Davidson was like, you know what? Screw those people at Tractor Supply and at John Deere. We are gonna stick with our people. We&#39;re gonna be a company of the people, and all people are included, right? Do you already know the update, Harley Davidson? David: 10:29 I don&#39;t know the update, but I&#39;m just my heart is preparing to. Gavin: 10:32 You can hear in my voice that they have been like, never mind, we&#39;re not gonna be the DEI people and screw the gays. And um, you know, not in such explicit language, but um another one bites the dust. And guess what? Another one is biting the dust. It is Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels, which you know is a staple at gay bars across the entire country, right? SPEAKER_02: 10:51 Yeah. Gavin: 10:52 Um, they have also said they&#39;re gonna dump their DEI initiatives and they&#39;re not gonna be big old um uh sponsors in pride parades, et cetera, et cetera. David: 11:01 Wait, do you mean Jack Daniels or Jacking guys named Daniel? Because I I&#39;m interested in both. I want Jack Daniels to please comment on that question. But you know what? Can I just say something to all the homophobes who are listening to right now? I know our listener is probably homophobic, and that&#39;s fine. That&#39;s totally fine. We accept all people. Homophobia, y&#39;all, is so boring. It&#39;s so it&#39;s this like anti, like it is so incredibly boring. You&#39;re not ruffling our feathers, yeah, you&#39;re not getting us, you&#39;re not like getting a lib. It is the most boring thing in the entire world. So find something new. Find something. Gavin: 11:43 Yeah, everybody needs an enemy, but how about we this is so 20 years ago. Come on, so 20 years ago. So uh, but I was a little curious about this Jack Daniels situation. Like, what is going on here? And the coverage of it is showing that there&#39;s one douchebag out there who&#39;s after all of these companies and is taking them down single-handedly with his following. And it&#39;s a guy named Robbie Starbuck. Have you ever heard that name? He&#39;s a right-wing, you know, commentator. He has probably a podcast with three or four listeners, and he and he gets those three or four listeners, okay, three or four million listeners, and they are an army and they have been going after these companies right and left. And he claims on his Twitter profile that he is a director. And I&#39;m like, what? What has he directed? Because he says he used to direct stars and now he directs something else as his own catch line. I mean, this guy is such a fraudster. He isn&#39;t a Hollywood type, although he tries to do all sorts of name-dropping in IMDb, but he&#39;s done nothing of of interest. Um now he&#39;s produced a movie with his wife about basically the vast queer rings conspiracy to indoctrinate all kids, but they can&#39;t get it. They can&#39;t get it to for brunch. We want them all to appreciate brunch. David: 12:54 That&#39;s it. All that is we&#39;ve said this before. The gay agenda, brunch, end of life. Gavin: 12:58 Well, he is out to destroy brunch, basically. Okay, and um, and he has gone after all of these companies. I mean, this dude and his army are single-handedly responsible for bringing down the well, you know, the this these initiatives with Tractor Supply, John Deere, Harley Davidson, Jack Daniels. Shout out to Robbie Starbuck. Robbie Starbuck, if you&#39;re listening, do you want to come talk about uh do you want to come see if you could be a Gatriarch? Come on, dude. David: 13:22 First of all, Robbie Starbuck, get a new name. Get a new name. Second of all, you&#39;re boring. It is the most boring thing in the world. It&#39;s basically a gay poor name, and we&#39;re bored with you. Go find something else to do. Um, you know what else is really, really boring? Uh our top three list. Gay three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my week. It is the top three most satisfying sounds. Top three most satisfying sounds. Now, what it my my initial instinct was like going for like the crackling fire, rain kind of soothing moment. But...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s Mom is vibes, Gavin buys his daughter&apos;s love, it&apos;s a last week of daycare and a first week of middle school, we rank the top 3 most satisfying sounds, and this week we are joined by geolocater and TikTok megaladon Jose Monkey who talks to us about online security for parents, why Tom Lennon called one of his videos &#34;the funniest thing he&apos;s ever seen,&#34; and David admits that he has a major crush on Jose Monkey&apos;s alter ego, Chad. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um I&#39;m definitely impressed with that. And though we do follow an a um an outline there. Uh please. I was looking up something else, and so I distracted myself right here. And I saw clearly I can&#39;t. David: 0:15 I saw your face just go, oh no, I&#39;m I&#39;m failing, and David&#39;s watching me, and he&#39;s gonna use this to open the show. What do I do? And this is Gatriarch. So I have two private Instagrams for my kids, and it&#39;s just for like friends and family to see the dump of pictures so I don&#39;t inundate people on Facebook and it&#39;s private. Gavin: 0:49 So yeah, you know. But it is also that makes me think then you have to manage two more Instagram accounts, and that&#39;s exhausting to me already. David: 0:56 It is, but all I do is post and go. Like post one photo a day, and then I I don&#39;t even monitor. Nice. Well, the uh my mom, who is our listener, hi shout out, mom. Um who um, I won&#39;t reveal her age because she&#39;d get mad at me, but she&#39;s she&#39;s she&#39;s got a life behind her, if you know what I mean. Is she even older than me? Nobody&#39;s older than you, Gavin, except the pterodactyl I saw at the museum the other day. But she commented on a photo, and it was my son and my daughter sharing an ice cream. And my son was feeding my daughter ice cream. This was before the fight, and they threw it across the parking lot. But um, her comment was really good big brother vibes, smiley face. And I was like, ma&#39;am, you are way too old to use vibes. I&#39;m too old to use the word vibes, but she used it appropriately. So I want to give a shout out to our listener, my mom, for commenting really good big brother vibes on the Instagram because I laughed out loud. I was like, my mom is using vibes, vibes, vibes, vibes. Gavin: 1:56 Okay, so as our listener probably knows, we do follow an outline here as we talk amongst, you know, a thousand miles apart from each other on the Zoom world or the Riverside world. But anyway, I saw this out in the outline and I thought to myself, what struck me about that is big brother vibes, and me thinking that you were gonna go down a George or William academic track. Really? Like, oh god, it&#39;s like a sensor big brother following and creepily stalking his little sister. David: 2:26 No, that&#39;s your that&#39;s your that&#39;s your your your thoughtful like thought experiments, you know, think piece kind of thing. That&#39;s you. I&#39;m I&#39;m here for dick jokes and making fun of you. Gavin: 2:36 Totally, totally, totally, totally. Well, okay, not at all along those lines, except maybe ice cream and enjoying sweet shit. Uh, my so for many months I was talking about makeup and that it just drives me crazy that the TikTok capitalist sphere is making my daughter think that her perfect complexion is not perfect enough. So she has to buy a bunch of crap, right? From Sephora, Sephora, Sephora. Well, I did realize that the capitalist industrial complex is now selling also tweens and teens energy drinks, in particular Celsius. So you know what Celsius is, right? I do. David: 3:13 I mean, yeah, I mean, I&#39;m just I&#39;m just shocked that like the everyone&#39;s trying to get perfect prepubescent skin and perfect prepubescent energy levels. And they&#39;re like, what are you doing? This is the this is the fountain of youth here.]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s Mom is vibes, Gavin buys his daughter&apos;s love, it&apos;s a last week of daycare and a first week of middle school, we rank the top 3 most satisfying sounds, and this week we are joined by geolocater and TikTok megaladon Jose Monkey who talks to us about online security for parents, why Tom Lennon called one of his videos &#34;the funniest thing he&apos;s ever seen,&#34; and David admits that he has a major crush on Jose Monkey&apos;s alter ego, Chad. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um I&#39;m definitely impressed with that. And though we do follow an a um an outline there. Uh please. I was looking up something else, and so I distracted myself right here. And I saw clearly I can&#39;t. David: 0:15 I saw your face just go, oh no, I&#39;m I&#39;m failing, and David&#39;s watching me, and he&#39;s gonna use this to open the show. What do ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with interior designer Michael Angelo Stuno</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-interior-designer-michael-angelo-stuno/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 Aug 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we learn lessons in parenting from the democratic national convention, David sees a nipple on an airplane, and so does his 5 year old, we try and figure out if they&apos;re gay dads or just waiting for their wives, and this week we are joined by acclaimed interior designer (and multi-hyphenate of many artistic abilities) Michael Angelo Stuno to chat with us about dealing with teenagers, his experience with the foster to adopt system, and that no, he&apos;s not a crime-fighting ninja turtle. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, before we begin this week&#39;s episode, I just wanted to give you a heads up. We had a little bit of a technical issue with Gavin&#39;s microphone this week. We know Gavin ruins a lot of things. Um, you&#39;ll hear his voice kind of come in and out a few times. You know, this is a low-rent podcast with low-rent hosts, and you are low-rent listener. Enjoy the show. Gavin: 0:20 Okay. Can I start? David: 0:23 Sure. Again, is it funny? Gavin: 0:27 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 But but but you didn&#39;t answer my question. And that is motherfucking Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:50 It&#39;s still August. It&#39;s still summertime, right? We&#39;re still in some remote. Just barely. Just barely. Just the tip. David: 0:56 Just we&#39;re kissing, we&#39;re kissing September from behind. Do you know what I mean? Just the nape of the neck. We&#39;re just, we&#39;re just just sweet little kisses behind the ear. Gavin: 1:05 But I know that you and I, and everybody we know, um, and all of our listener were at least someone tied into the convention this week, which uh, spoiler alert, we record right after stuff, and we listened to the Queen Kamala Harris speak last night, and she was, of course, fabulous. But so often there are all these quotes that come out that are so often about parenting, right? And it is a simple like, here&#39;s what we believe in, and it is a lesson for parenting. And so there were three in particular ones that I wanted to point out. And um eventually I&#39;ll write a huge show note blog post that&#39;s gonna go viral and send millions of viewers our way, including Kamala and Michelle and Hills and all the people all of us. But um, for instance, and these are I&#39;m sure that everybody heard these, but for instance, Michelle Obama talking about Kamala&#39;s mother saying, Don&#39;t complain about it, do something. I mean, I&#39;m so glad that I forced my kids to watch an awful lot of the conventions so that I can be like, Remember when Michelle Obama said that? David: 2:05 So that reminds me of don&#39;t boo, vote. Oh, there was that. There was that. That was that was my Barry Obama. Gavin: 2:10 I can&#39;t wait for you to say that to your kids, though, right? When they&#39;re like, what, booing your macaroni and cheese? David: 2:17 And how the looks on. My son did tell me the other day they&#39;re having like a summer blowout party at school. And of course, you have to sign up for things because you have to constantly feed the school machine. And I would I always go for the mac and cheese because I made a homemade bechamel sauce. SPEAKER_02: 2:30 I&#39;m very proud of it. David: 2:31 And the poster goes up and I&#39;m about to write on it. And my son grabs my hand and says, Wait, wait, wait, dad, don&#39;t sign up for the mac and cheese. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? I was like, I make a homemade bechamel sauce. What are you talking about? He&#39;s like, I don&#39;t really like it. And I was like, you know what? You can go fuck yourself. So anyway, sorry, continue. Gavin: 2:51 Well, uh, I mean, I want to double down. When please report back to us when your kids boo you and you say directly to them, don&#39;t boo boo. I want to I want to see if it&#39;s if you get as a big eye roll as when I say to my daughter, don&#39;t complain about it, do something. Um, Barack spoke about their family values and that his um that his mother-in-law&#39;s family values are just like a good card game, hanging out with friends, and a good meal. And I&#39;m reminded, like, it is the simple shit that we all just need to focus on, right? Not like fabulous vacations, although please somebody take me to Switzerland. And um, and spending money, it&#39;s about like that&#39;s why we have kids is to just like spend money, sit around. Sit around and have a meal and some laughs, right? David: 3:37 Yeah, I will say that like my husband and I were talking about this yesterday. The you know, morning uh on school days, it&#39;s like you get about an hour and a half in the morning and it&#39;s all about moving to the next thing. Let&#39;s get dressed, let&#39;s go downstairs, let&#39;s eat breakfast, let&#39;s put on our shoes, let&#39;s get rid of our backpacks. And we don&#39;t actually get to enjoy our kids at all. And those days where we just get to like lay in bed and laugh and tickle and talk about things and do silly voices, like those are actually pretty great. Gavin: 4:00 Uh-huh. Yeah. David: 4:01 It&#39;s I have no joke there. It&#39;s just that&#39;s that&#39;s great. Gavin: 4:04 That was the least funny thing you&#39;ve ever said. But glad you were here for it. And then also, um, last night, Kamala just said, never let anyone tell you who you are, show them who you are. That was more wisdom from her mom, apparently. I mean, I&#39;m here for Mrs. Harris&#39;s uh book of mommy quotes, you know? So never let anyone tell you who you are, show them who you are. David: 4:27 I mean who are you, Gavin? Who do you show people you are? Gavin: 4:30 Can you just tell me who I am? Because that would be so much easier. David: 4:33 Well, we were having a conversation prior to this about you interrupting everyone. So um that&#39;s I think that&#39;s how how the world, all of our listener on Gatriarchs, know you as the interrupter in chief. Gavin: 4:44 Listen, every pat it this is my my new challenge to myself is to ask a question and then shut- Shut the fuck up. David: 4:52 Well, you know what interrupted me recently is I was. Yeah. So I was on a trip recently. I was on an airplane, as we know. I&#39;ve been flying a lot lately. And my son, I was sitting next to my son and he was iPading. So I was like, okay, maybe I&#39;m gonna actually watch some TV on a plane. Like it&#39;s been a decade since I&#39;ve been able to do that. And so I&#39;m looking for new comedies I haven&#39;t seen. I was doing some research and I was like, oh, here&#39;s this new show. It&#39;s called Colin from Accounting. It&#39;s a uh show from overseas. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and the very opening of the show has this woman walking across the street in front of this car, and she flashes her tit at this guy. That&#39;s kind of like the impetus for these two people meeting. Okay. Babe, they showed the tit on the on a United airplane flight. And I was like panicked, and I&#39;m like, hey, my first thought was who are people around me that they&#39;re gonna think I&#39;m watching porn, straight porn, and then I&#39;m gonna have to explain to them that you know. Gavin: 5:48 But then God no, of course not. David: 5:51 But then I&#39;m thinking about this the whole time, thinking about like, oh god, who saw this or whatever? And then I get a tap on my shoulder and it&#39;s my son. And he&#39;s like, What was that? And I said, So now I&#39;m like dumb. I&#39;m like, what do you mean? He&#39;s like, That lady, she was she just naked. And I was like, No, you you missed he fucking saw it. He totally saw it. I just am show shocked. I thought all movies were like they took out all the nudity that they do not ununited, by the way. Episode one of season one of Colin from Accounting has basically straight porn in it. Gavin: 6:21 So enjoy and booking my flight ununited on the opposite end of the spectrum, not straight porn, but gays. David: 6:28 Um, I was at a this will surprise you, you sitting down, kids&#39; birthday party last weekend, because it is all I fucking do. And so we&#39;re at this place, and it&#39;s the same people, and I&#39;m talking the same daycare parents, and we&#39;re saying the same conversations, and then I see two guys walk in with twins who are not the same, like who who like there&#39;s just there was just gay dad vibes. And we&#39;ve talked we talked about this on a previous episode where we were talking about gay dads or waiting for their wives, right? There&#39;s always the like when you see two dads with babies or a kid, you&#39;re like, are they waiting for their wives or are they gay dads? And I the whole time I&#39;m trying to like, I don&#39;t know, ruffle my feathers in a peacocky way to be like, hey, I&#39;m a gay dad too. But like there&#39;s no virtue signaling but sexual system. I mean, like, what am I supposed to do? But I all I wanted to do was be like, hey, are you gay dads? Because I&#39;m a gay dad, and I, you know, high-five each other or you know, do whatever gay dads do. But it was so weird because they I&#39;m sure they saw me like clocking them and they were clocking me, and I think we were both having the same conversation. But what what am I supposed to do? Go up there and be like, are you gay dad? Like, no, fuck no, bro. It was so weird, but I was like, I wish we could like be gay dads at this place together, but um but you never got to the bottom of that, huh? No, I we were just eyeing each other the whole time, which to me says they are gay dads and I&#39;m a gay dad, and they either thought I was hitting on them or also a gay dad. But I never like which is fine, just I should have just walked up to them and said something, but I&#39;m a hypocrite also, obviously, and also a coward. Gavin: 7:58 Well, oh, I think just walking up to somebody and saying, Hey, are you down with with I I don&#39;t know smoking pole? Yeah, yeah, basically. Are you down with that? And uh that&#39;s gonna be really awkward, but I invite you to do so the next time because that&#39;s gonna be fantastic. David: 8:16 You know what I&#39;m not down with? Tell me the top three list. Gavin: 8:21 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 8:25 I I don&#39;t know if you know this about me because as we&#39;ve said many times on the show, we don&#39;t know each other even a little bit. Don&#39;t know each other. But right. When you suggested this topic, I wanted to fly to Connecticut and punch you in the face. I was like, how dare you speak ill of anything fall? So fall related. The top three list was your list, and it was the top three things you hate about PSL seasonslash fall, right? Yeah, yep. But that&#39;s exactly how. I have three things. I do have three things. All right. Gavin: 8:53 So well, so here maybe this will give you some more context about the things that annoy me um about uh the PL hashtag PSLVibes slash fall, right? Okay, so um number three for me is ultimately the disappointment of a pumpkin spice latte. Have you had a pumpkin spice latte in the last decade? Many. They&#39;re disgusting. I mean, they&#39;re sweet. Okay, they&#39;re disgusting. They&#39;re they&#39;re uh do you actually enjoy the flavor? Do you drink them year round? I get one on my birthday because my birthday is at the end of September. And I think, oh, I&#39;m gonna do this, and I um and I think nope, I can wait another year for this. David: 9:32 When I make like French toast or banana bread or anything, instead of putting cinnamon in, I put pumpkin spice in. Always. Gag. I&#39;m gagging. Gavin: 9:40 I&#39;m gagging not in a good way. Um number two, the frenzy of performative football fandom. I find myself pretending to give a shit about food for the next few months. And admittedly, I want to be invited to my friends&#39; Patriots Patriots or that&#39;s football, right? Yes, Patriots games and whatnot. That we all get wrapped up in performative football fandom drives me nuts, right? Number one, people fall is my favorite season because it&#39;s everybody&#39;s season. So don&#39;t try to own loving fall because it&#39;s just annoying. We all love fall. Don&#39;t try to make it your own. It&#39;s all of ours. Stop it with the my favorite time of year. It&#39;s just so cozy. Like, find something else to to to you know, love because fall is all of ours. Don&#39;t try to own it. Um, how about you, David? David: 10:37 Uh, it&#39;s so funny because you are a non-fall person. I am a fall person. Like, I am I am so gay for all the chunky sweaters and the the moon boots and everything. But we have some crossover on our list, which is very exciting. So, uh, and number three for me, the thing I hate about fall, crowds. Uh, why is everything so everyone goes apple picking? Everyone does the things, and I&#39;m like, no, I want nobody to be around me. Um please, please. Uh, number two, I don&#39;t think I can say this anymore, but Indian summer. Do you know what that is? Have you heard of that before? Gavin: 11:11 Yeah. David: 11:12 Where it&#39;s like that last, like in Colorado, of course. Okay, so it&#39;s basically for those of you who don&#39;t know, it&#39;s like the weather starts getting a little chilly, a little crispy, a little wonderful, and then there&#39;s just a random week where it&#39;s fucking balls-ass hot, and it totally destroys the vibes. So that one random hot week, not interested. Gavin: 11:28 And number one, it is way too hot for your flannel, and it&#39;s too hot to drink a public pumpkin spice latte, and it is to be on a soccer field slash football field. Yeah, I&#39;m with you. I&#39;m with you. David: 11:39 I&#39;m always iced. Everything is iced for me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve had a hot drink in 20 years. Um, I get iced pumpkin spice latte. I get iced coffee, I get this. Anyway, uh, and number one, it is the bane of my existence are non-fall people loving fall. The people who don&#39;t worship fall year round to suddenly wear their buffalo plaid and go apple picking just for their gram. No, bitch, you are not a real fall person. I want real fall people around me at all times. Gavin: 12:14 Autumnal authenticity, please. Yes. David: 12:17 Um, all right. Okay, so that was your list question? Sure was. What&#39;s our list next week? Oh next finally, he is cornered. No, bitch. I have a I have a I have 20 uh ideas in my in my notes. Okay. Okay, so next week, our top three list is gonna be top three sounds. Other than my wonderful voice. Gavin: 12:42 Okay. Our next guest has taken his people skills, diplomacy, and charm away from show business and put it into interior design, where he&#39;s now a celebrated visionary pursued by what? Architectural digest and every single DIY show on cable TV. Is cable TV a thing anymore? It is, right? Anyway, welcome to this daddy, Michael Angelos. Thank you for joining us. SPEAKER_00: 13:16 Hi, I wish I was as glamorous as you just made me sound. Right? David: 13:21 It&#39;s a good intro. We like to intro our guests really, we like to build them up and then knock them down throughout the interview. Oh, good. SPEAKER_00: 13:27 I&#39;m used to the knocking down part. Great. Gavin: 13:29 Well, speaking of the knocking down, then I lead off with this. My burning question is Did your parents name you so that you would be forced into great artistic creativity as Michelangelo? SPEAKER_00: 13:43 No, so my grandfather&#39;s name was Angelo, good Italian grandpa, and I was extremely chubby as a baby, and apparently I looked like my chubby uncle Mikey. So I became Michael Angelo Stuno. David: 14:00 And um so they had no um, yeah, it wasn&#39;t so you&#39;re so you&#39;re not a you&#39;re not like a turtle who fights crime, who likes pizza. SPEAKER_00: 14:09 No. David: 14:10 Okay. No, just making sure. Gavin: 14:13 Nor are you a renaissance man. Although I would say that with that intro, I&#39;m building you up as a Renaissance man. Come on. SPEAKER_00: 14:19 A little bit of a Renaissance man, I hope. Gavin: 14:21 Like dumbing it down though, can you tell us how has your kid driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_00: 14:29 Today. Today? Well, you know, it&#39;s like it&#39;s kind of we have it, I&#39;m a half a teenager, so you know, she&#39;s set just her. David: 14:38 Peace be with you....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we learn lessons in parenting from the democratic national convention, David sees a nipple on an airplane, and so does his 5 year old, we try and figure out if they&apos;re gay dads or just waiting for their wives, and this week we are joined ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we learn lessons in parenting from the democratic national convention, David sees a nipple on an airplane, and so does his 5 year old, we try and figure out if they&apos;re gay dads or just waiting for their wives, and this week we are joined by acclaimed interior designer (and multi-hyphenate of many artistic abilities) Michael Angelo Stuno to chat with us about dealing with teenagers, his experience with the foster to adopt system, and that no, he&apos;s not a crime-fighting ninja turtle. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, before we begin this week&#39;s episode, I just wanted to give you a heads up. We had a little bit of a technical issue with Gavin&#39;s microphone this week. We know Gavin ruins a lot of things. Um, you&#39;ll hear his voice kind of come in and out a few times. You know, this is a low-rent podcast with low-rent hosts, and you are low-rent listener. Enjoy the show. Gavin: 0:20 Okay. Can I start? David: 0:23 Sure. Again, is it funny? Gavin: 0:27 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 But but but you didn&#39;t answer my question. And that is motherfucking Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:50 It&#39;s still August. It&#39;s still summertime, right? We&#39;re still in some remote. Just barely. Just barely. Just the tip. David: 0:56 Just we&#39;re kissing, we&#39;re kissing September from behind. Do you know what I mean? Just the nape of the neck. We&#39;re just, we&#39;re just just sweet little kisses behind the ear. Gavin: 1:05 But I know that you and I, and everybody we know, um, and all of our listener were at least someone tied into the convention this week, which uh, spoiler alert, we record right after stuff, and we listened to the Queen Kamala Harris speak last night, and she was, of course, fabulous. But so often there are all these quotes that come out that are so often about parenting, right? And it is a simple like, here&#39;s what we believe in, and it is a lesson for parenting. And so there were three in particular ones that I wanted to point out. And um eventually I&#39;ll write a huge show note blog post that&#39;s gonna go viral and send millions of viewers our way, including Kamala and Michelle and Hills and all the people all of us. But um, for instance, and these are I&#39;m sure that everybody heard these, but for instance, Michelle Obama talking about Kamala&#39;s mother saying, Don&#39;t complain about it, do something. I mean, I&#39;m so glad that I forced my kids to watch an awful lot of the conventions so that I can be like, Remember when Michelle Obama said that? David: 2:05 So that reminds me of don&#39;t boo, vote. Oh, there was that. There was that. That was that was my Barry Obama. Gavin: 2:10 I can&#39;t wait for you to say that to your kids, though, right? When they&#39;re like, what, booing your macaroni and cheese? David: 2:17 And how the looks on. My son did tell me the other day they&#39;re having like a summer blowout party at school. And of course, you have to sign up for things because you have to constantly feed the school machine. And I would I always go for the mac and cheese because I made a homemade bechamel sauce. SPEAKER_02: 2:30 I&#39;m very proud of it. David: 2:31 And the poster goes up and I&#39;m about to write on it. And my son grabs my hand and says, Wait, wait, wait, dad, don&#39;t sign up for the mac and cheese. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? I was like, I make a homemade bechamel sauce. What are you talking about? He&#39;s like, I don&#39;t really like it. And I was like, you know what? You can go fuck yourself. So anyway, sorry, continue. Gavin: 2:51 Well, uh, I mean, I want to double down. When please report back to us when your kids boo you and you say directly to them, don&#39;t boo boo. I want to I want to see if it&#39;s if you get as a big eye roll as when I say to my daughter, don&#39;t complain about it, do something. Um, Barack spoke about their family values and that his um that his mother-in-law&#39;s family values are just like a good card game, hanging out with friends, and a good meal. And I&#39;m reminded, like, it is the simple shit that we all just need to focus on, right? Not like fabulous vacations, although please somebody take me to Switzerland. And um, and spending money, it&#39;s about like that&#39;s why we have kids is to just like spend money, sit around. Sit around and have a meal and some laughs, right? David: 3:37 Yeah, I will say that like my husband and I were talking about this yesterday. The you know, morning uh on school days, it&#39;s like you get about an hour and a half in the morning and it&#39;s all about moving to the next thing. Let&#39;s get dressed, let&#39;s go downstairs, let&#39;s eat breakfast, let&#39;s put on our shoes, let&#39;s get rid of our backpacks. And we don&#39;t actually get to enjoy our kids at all. And those days where we just get to like lay in bed and laugh and tickle and talk about things and do silly voices, like those are actually pretty great. Gavin: 4:00 Uh-huh. Yeah. David: 4:01 It&#39;s I have no joke there. It&#39;s just that&#39;s that&#39;s great. Gavin: 4:04 That was the least funny thing you&#39;ve ever said. But glad you were here for it. And then also, um, last night, Kamala just said, never let anyone tell you who you are, show them who you are. That was more wisdom from her mom, apparently. I mean, I&#39;m here for Mrs. Harris&#39;s uh book of mommy quotes, you know? So never let anyone tell you who you are, show them who you are. David: 4:27 I mean who are you, Gavin? Who do you show people you are? Gavin: 4:30 Can you just tell me who I am? Because that would be so much easier. David: 4:33 Well, we were having a conversation prior to this about you interrupting everyone. So um that&#39;s I think that&#39;s how how the world, all of our listener on Gatriarchs, know you as the interrupter in chief. Gavin: 4:44 Listen, every pat it this is my my new challenge to myself is to ask a question and then shut- Shut the fuck up. David: 4:52 Well, you know what interrupted me recently is I was. Yeah. So I was on a trip recently. I was on an airplane, as we know. I&#39;ve been flying a lot lately. And my son, I was sitting next to my son and he was iPading. So I was like, okay, maybe I&#39;m gonna actually watch some TV on a plane. Like it&#39;s been a decade since I&#39;ve been able to do that. And so I&#39;m looking for new comedies I haven&#39;t seen. I was doing some research and I was like, oh, here&#39;s this new show. It&#39;s called Colin from Accounting. It&#39;s a uh show from overseas. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and the very opening of the show has this woman walking across the street in front of this car, and she flashes her tit at this guy. That&#39;s kind of like the impetus for these two people meeting. Okay. Babe, they showed the tit on the on a United airplane flight. And I was like panicked, and I&#39;m like, hey, my first thought was who are people around me that they&#39;re gonna think I&#39;m watching porn, straight porn, and then I&#39;m gonna have to explain to them that you know. Gavin: 5:48 But then God no, of course not. David: 5:51 But then I&#39;m thinking about this the whole time, thinking about like, oh god, who saw this or whatever? And then I get a tap on my shoulder and it&#39;s my son. And he&#39;s like, What was that? And I said, So now I&#39;m like dumb. I&#39;m like, what do you mean? He&#39;s like, That lady, she was she just naked. And I was like, No, you you missed he fucking saw it. He totally saw it. I just am show shocked. I thought all movies were like they took out all the nudity that they do not ununited, by the way. Episode one of season one of Colin from Accounting has basically straight porn in it. Gavin: 6:21 So enjoy and booking my flight ununited on the opposite end of the spectrum, not straight porn, but gays. David: 6:28 Um, I was at a this will surprise you, you sitting down, kids&#39; birthday party last weekend, because it is all I fucking do. And so we&#39;re at this place, and it&#39;s the same people, and I&#39;m talking the same daycare parents, and we&#39;re saying the same conversations, and then I see two guys walk in with twins who are not the same, like who who like there&#39;s just there was just gay dad vibes. And we&#39;ve talked we talked about this on a previous episode where we were talking about gay dads or waiting for their wives, right? There&#39;s always the like when you see two dads with babies or a kid, you&#39;re like, are they waiting for their wives or are they gay dads? And I the whole time I&#39;m trying to like, I don&#39;t know, ruffle my feathers in a peacocky way to be like, hey, I&#39;m a gay dad too. But like there&#39;s no virtue signaling but sexual system. I mean, like, what am I supposed to do? But I all I wanted to do was be like, hey, are you gay dads? Because I&#39;m a gay dad, and I, you know, high-five each other or you know, do whatever gay dads do. But it was so weird because they I&#39;m sure they saw me like clocking them and they were clocking me, and I think we were both having the same conversation. But what what am I supposed to do? Go up there and be like, are you gay dad? Like, no, fuck no, bro. It was so weird, but I was like, I wish we could like be gay dads at this place together, but um but you never got to the bottom of that, huh? No, I we were just eyeing each other the whole time, which to me says they are gay dads and I&#39;m a gay dad, and they either thought I was hitting on them or also a gay dad. But I never like which is fine, just I should have just walked up to them and said something, but I&#39;m a hypocrite also, obviously, and also a coward. Gavin: 7:58 Well, oh, I think just walking up to somebody and saying, Hey, are you down with with I I don&#39;t know smoking pole? Yeah, yeah, basically. Are you down with that? And uh that&#39;s gonna be really awkward, but I invite you to do so the next time because that&#39;s gonna be fantastic. David: 8:16 You know what I&#39;m not down with? Tell me the top three list. Gavin: 8:21 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 8:25 I I don&#39;t know if you know this about me because as we&#39;ve said many times on the show, we don&#39;t know each other even a little bit. Don&#39;t know each other. But right. When you suggested this topic, I wanted to fly to Connecticut and punch you in the face. I was like, how dare you speak ill of anything fall? So fall related. The top three list was your list, and it was the top three things you hate about PSL seasonslash fall, right? Yeah, yep. But that&#39;s exactly how. I have three things. I do have three things. All right. Gavin: 8:53 So well, so here maybe this will give you some more context about the things that annoy me um about uh the PL hashtag PSLVibes slash fall, right? Okay, so um number three for me is ultimately the disappointment of a pumpkin spice latte. Have you had a pumpkin spice latte in the last decade? Many. They&#39;re disgusting. I mean, they&#39;re sweet. Okay, they&#39;re disgusting. They&#39;re they&#39;re uh do you actually enjoy the flavor? Do you drink them year round? I get one on my birthday because my birthday is at the end of September. And I think, oh, I&#39;m gonna do this, and I um and I think nope, I can wait another year for this. David: 9:32 When I make like French toast or banana bread or anything, instead of putting cinnamon in, I put pumpkin spice in. Always. Gag. I&#39;m gagging. Gavin: 9:40 I&#39;m gagging not in a good way. Um number two, the frenzy of performative football fandom. I find myself pretending to give a shit about food for the next few months. And admittedly, I want to be invited to my friends&#39; Patriots Patriots or that&#39;s football, right? Yes, Patriots games and whatnot. That we all get wrapped up in performative football fandom drives me nuts, right? Number one, people fall is my favorite season because it&#39;s everybody&#39;s season. So don&#39;t try to own loving fall because it&#39;s just annoying. We all love fall. Don&#39;t try to make it your own. It&#39;s all of ours. Stop it with the my favorite time of year. It&#39;s just so cozy. Like, find something else to to to you know, love because fall is all of ours. Don&#39;t try to own it. Um, how about you, David? David: 10:37 Uh, it&#39;s so funny because you are a non-fall person. I am a fall person. Like, I am I am so gay for all the chunky sweaters and the the moon boots and everything. But we have some crossover on our list, which is very exciting. So, uh, and number three for me, the thing I hate about fall, crowds. Uh, why is everything so everyone goes apple picking? Everyone does the things, and I&#39;m like, no, I want nobody to be around me. Um please, please. Uh, number two, I don&#39;t think I can say this anymore, but Indian summer. Do you know what that is? Have you heard of that before? Gavin: 11:11 Yeah. David: 11:12 Where it&#39;s like that last, like in Colorado, of course. Okay, so it&#39;s basically for those of you who don&#39;t know, it&#39;s like the weather starts getting a little chilly, a little crispy, a little wonderful, and then there&#39;s just a random week where it&#39;s fucking balls-ass hot, and it totally destroys the vibes. So that one random hot week, not interested. Gavin: 11:28 And number one, it is way too hot for your flannel, and it&#39;s too hot to drink a public pumpkin spice latte, and it is to be on a soccer field slash football field. Yeah, I&#39;m with you. I&#39;m with you. David: 11:39 I&#39;m always iced. Everything is iced for me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve had a hot drink in 20 years. Um, I get iced pumpkin spice latte. I get iced coffee, I get this. Anyway, uh, and number one, it is the bane of my existence are non-fall people loving fall. The people who don&#39;t worship fall year round to suddenly wear their buffalo plaid and go apple picking just for their gram. No, bitch, you are not a real fall person. I want real fall people around me at all times. Gavin: 12:14 Autumnal authenticity, please. Yes. David: 12:17 Um, all right. Okay, so that was your list question? Sure was. What&#39;s our list next week? Oh next finally, he is cornered. No, bitch. I have a I have a I have 20 uh ideas in my in my notes. Okay. Okay, so next week, our top three list is gonna be top three sounds. Other than my wonderful voice. Gavin: 12:42 Okay. Our next guest has taken his people skills, diplomacy, and charm away from show business and put it into interior design, where he&#39;s now a celebrated visionary pursued by what? Architectural digest and every single DIY show on cable TV. Is cable TV a thing anymore? It is, right? Anyway, welcome to this daddy, Michael Angelos. Thank you for joining us. SPEAKER_00: 13:16 Hi, I wish I was as glamorous as you just made me sound. Right? David: 13:21 It&#39;s a good intro. We like to intro our guests really, we like to build them up and then knock them down throughout the interview. Oh, good. SPEAKER_00: 13:27 I&#39;m used to the knocking down part. Great. Gavin: 13:29 Well, speaking of the knocking down, then I lead off with this. My burning question is Did your parents name you so that you would be forced into great artistic creativity as Michelangelo? SPEAKER_00: 13:43 No, so my grandfather&#39;s name was Angelo, good Italian grandpa, and I was extremely chubby as a baby, and apparently I looked like my chubby uncle Mikey. So I became Michael Angelo Stuno. David: 14:00 And um so they had no um, yeah, it wasn&#39;t so you&#39;re so you&#39;re not a you&#39;re not like a turtle who fights crime, who likes pizza. SPEAKER_00: 14:09 No. David: 14:10 Okay. No, just making sure. Gavin: 14:13 Nor are you a renaissance man. Although I would say that with that intro, I&#39;m building you up as a Renaissance man. Come on. SPEAKER_00: 14:19 A little bit of a Renaissance man, I hope. Gavin: 14:21 Like dumbing it down though, can you tell us how has your kid driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_00: 14:29 Today. Today? Well, you know, it&#39;s like it&#39;s kind of we have it, I&#39;m a half a teenager, so you know, she&#39;s set just her. David: 14:38 Peace be with you....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we learn lessons in parenting from the democratic national convention, David sees a nipple on an airplane, and so does his 5 year old, we try and figure out if they&apos;re gay dads or just waiting for their wives, and this week we are joined by acclaimed interior designer (and multi-hyphenate of many artistic abilities) Michael Angelo Stuno to chat with us about dealing with teenagers, his experience with the foster to adopt system, and that no, he&apos;s not a crime-fighting ninja turtle. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, before we begin this week&#39;s episode, I just wanted to give you a heads up. We had a little bit of a technical issue with Gavin&#39;s microphone this week. We know Gavin ruins a lot of things. Um, you&#39;ll hear his voice kind of come in and out a few times. You know, this is a low-rent podcast with low-rent hosts, and you are low-rent listener. Enjoy the show. Gavin: 0:20 Okay. Can I start? David: 0:23 Sure. Again, is it funny? Gavin: 0:27 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 But but but you didn&#39;t answer my question. And that is motherfucking Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:50 It&#39;s still August. It&#39;s still summertime, right? We&#39;re still in some remote. Just barely. Just barely. Just the tip. David: 0:56 Just we&#39;re kissing, we&#39;re kissing September from behind. Do you know what I mean? Just the nape of the neck. We&#39;re just, we&#39;re just just sweet little kisses behind the ear. Gavin: 1:05 But I know that you and I, and everybody we know, um, and all of our listener were at least someone tied into the convention this week, which uh, spoiler alert, we record right after stuff, and we listened to the Queen Kamala Harris speak last night, and she was, of course, fabulous. But so often there are all these quotes that come out that are so often about parenting, right? And it is a simple like, here&#39;s what we believe in, and it is a lesson for parenting. And so there were three in particular ones that I wanted to point out. And um eventually I&#39;ll write a huge show note blog post that&#39;s gonna go viral and send millions of viewers our way, including Kamala and Michelle and Hills and all the people all of us. But um, for instance, and these are I&#39;m sure that everybody heard these, but for instance, Michelle Obama talking about Kamala&#39;s mother saying, Don&#39;t complain about it, do something. I mean, I&#39;m so glad that I forced my kids to watch an awful lot of the conventions so that I can be like, Remember when Michelle Obama said that? David: 2:05 So that reminds me of don&#39;t boo, vote. Oh, there was that. There was that. That was that was my Barry Obama. Gavin: 2:10 I can&#39;t wait for you to say that to your kids, though, right? When they&#39;re like, what, booing your macaroni and cheese? David: 2:17 And how the looks on. My son did tell me the other day they&#39;re having like a summer blowout party at school. And of course, you have to sign up for things because you have to constantly feed the school machine. And I would I always go for the mac and cheese because I made a homemade bechamel sauce. SPEAKER_02: 2:30 I&#39;m very proud of it. David: 2:31 And the poster goes up and I&#39;m about to write on it. And my son grabs my hand and says, Wait, wait, wait, dad, don&#39;t sign up for the mac and cheese. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? I was like, I make a homemade bechamel sauce. What are you talking about? He&#39;s like, I don&#39;t really like it. And I was like, you know what? You can go fuck yourself. So anyway, sorry, continue. Gavin: 2:51 Well, uh, I mean, I want to double down. When please report back to us when your kids boo you and you say directly to them, don&#39;t boo boo. I want to I want to see if it&#39;s if you get as a big eye roll as when I say to my daughter, don&#39;t complain about it, do]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we learn lessons in parenting from the democratic national convention, David sees a nipple on an airplane, and so does his 5 year old, we try and figure out if they&apos;re gay dads or just waiting for their wives, and this week we are joined by acclaimed interior designer (and multi-hyphenate of many artistic abilities) Michael Angelo Stuno to chat with us about dealing with teenagers, his experience with the foster to adopt system, and that no, he&apos;s not a crime-fighting ninja turtle. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, before we begin this week&#39;s episode, I just wanted to give you a heads up. We had a little bit of a technical issue with Gavin&#39;s microphone this week. We know Gavin ruins a lot of things. Um, you&#39;ll hear his voice kind of come in and out a few times. You know, this is a low-rent podcast with low-rent hosts, and ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with writer Joanne Spataro</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-writer-joanne-spataro/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 21 Aug 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we can&apos;t believe it but Gavin met our listener, we can believe that David rants about the cost of birthday parties, we try and figure out how to travel with kids better, we rank the top 3 ways we are MAGA, and this week we are joined by writer, Mom, and baker Joanne Spataro who talks to us about being a gay Mom, what it was like creating a family with a trans wife, and how she became BFF&apos;s with Whoopi Goldberg. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Erase that. Let&#39;s start again. David: 0:03 You can see my confusion as when you started, because I&#39;m looking at our outline and I&#39;m literally taking in a big breath about to start talking about birthday parties. And you launch into something that&#39;s not in the outline. Gavin: 0:15 Completely un I&#39;m just keeping you on your toes, David F. and Vaughn. David: 0:18 Ugh, this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So before you get started, I was at a party recently, and basically the paparazzi came after me because of what? Gatriarchs. Two. We have one listener. I know, but now we have two. I mean there&#39;s sisters. So does that count? Is that almost more like one? No, yeah, no, you that counts as two. David: 0:53 Yeah. They paid two sets of income taxes. Like they&#39;re they&#39;re considered two legal entities. Gavin: 0:58 It was very exciting. They came up to me and they let me know that they have been our longtime um listeners. And um one of the sisters in particular said, I just caught up last week. And um, and it was uh it was very uh it was very exciting. Um, one is gay, one is not, but they&#39;re both like big fans of the show. And uh that was so we can no longer say our listener, we have to now say listeners. It&#39;s gonna have to include Amy and Betsy. Yeah, listener plus Amy and Betsy. Now we listeners with names. So but it was gratifying because um they were fans. So shout out to Amy and Betsy. Thank you for letting me know that we are not just speaking out into the ether. David: 1:35 What are we gonna do with this newfound fame and wealth? Legitimately unsure of what we should do. I do I know what I&#39;m gonna do with my newfound fame. Do tell. I&#39;m gonna spend it on fucking birthday parties. Gavin: 1:48 Oh, do tell. David: 1:50 So last week I mentioned um our something great, or my something great for last week for our back to school episode was my son recently turned five. And that&#39;s really cool and great and whatever. Gavin: 1:59 Totally feels like a milestone. Five is a milestone. David: 2:02 It&#39;s just it&#39;s a big milestone. But what I left out was the fact that I had to pay for and throw a children&#39;s birthday party. And we talked a little bit about this. Today&#39;s good, we&#39;re gonna be re-business. A year ago. Gavin: 2:15 We&#39;ve been talking about birthday parties are an ongoing conversation, obviously. David: 2:18 It&#39;s an ongoing conversation, but you forget, you get lulled into, you know, you go to every weekend is a birthday party. If you have kids in daycare or or in kindergarten, every single weekend is somebody&#39;s birthday party. And it&#39;s the same three places in your town. And you forget until it&#39;s your turn to throw one, how goddamn expensive they are. Yep. So they they all say, oh,$3.99 for a birthday party up to 10 people. But it&#39;s it&#39;s when you walk out the door and you pay the bill, you forget that you&#39;re paying$30,$40 a head. Uh-huh. And that doesn&#39;t include cake, which is an upchart. It is just and it&#39;s it&#39;s and uh so I had a um a friend who came up to me afterwards, and she we have this kind of relationship, but she came up to me after the party. She goes, Thank you so much for inviting us and paying a thousand dollars so we could slide down the same slide we slide down every week. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s exactly what happened. And my son got 40 gifts, 39 of which he were gonna, you know, return back to Target. And so I have no solution here other than before you get to the parties where it&#39;s like your kids&#39; actual friends, where it&#39;s like five people in the backyard. Yeah, they it&#39;s a thousand dollars to turn five. Yeah, it&#39;s a thousand dollars. Gavin: 3:28 But when is somebody gonna be, you know, have that strength of character to say, no, I am not gonna do this? David: 3:34 Actually, I think I don&#39;t look at me for strength of character first. Gavin: 3:36 Yeah, no, I of course, I mean, I was you you saw my eyes went away from the screen as I was asking that. And I was reflecting, because it&#39;s certainly not my strength of character, but there are definitely our parents out there who are just like, we don&#39;t need to create uh be in this rat race. I mean, let&#39;s face it, you know who you are as a parent. You&#39;re grounded as a person with no strength um sense of character, of course. But also, we do this to like keep up with the Joneses. We kind of think we are failing our kids if we don&#39;t go into the full child birthday industrial complex. And so we&#39;re keeping up with Joneses, and eventually someone that we need to find that strength of character to say the Joneses suck. David: 4:15 So But you could just look at your kids and be like, they&#39;re just running around like they&#39;re running around on the playground every weekend with a friends anyway. Yeah. Why do we need to do it this way? Gavin: 4:22 For a couple of years, my son wanted just uh now he&#39;s a soccer fiend, but at the beginning of his soccer fiendom, he just wanted to have a birthday at a playground. Just a playground with some balloons on a picnic table, and he was thrilled. And I was like, This is awesome. Now let me just tell you, my daughter has made up for that tenfold for sure. David: 4:39 So, in keeping with our theme of revisiting old topics, I wanted to revisit a topic for any of our new listener um out there who didn&#39;t hear. And Amy and Betsy, yes, um, who did not hear this episode. Um, I recently did three trips with my kids. We flew to three different destinations to visit with some family. Um, it was a lot. And I was just thinking as I was going through the airport or being on a plane or having a blowout in the bathroom or sleeping in different locations, I was like, we should revisit this topic because um I know summer is over now, but traveling for the holidays and everything, when you travel with kids, there&#39;s gotta be a better way. There&#39;s gotta be a better way. Gavin: 5:19 But nobody has figured it out. I mean, this is a the talk about the parental industrial complex, mommy blogs and daddy blogs and gay dad podcasts center on how the hell to travel without you know putting a bullet through your brain. David: 5:33 Yeah. So here&#39;s I&#39;m just gonna give you my personal hacks of what now, again, I have a five-year-old and a two-year-old. Yeah, these are things that I have now done the past three times and that have worked and that I think could help everyone. But if not, sorry, you&#39;re on your own. Good luck to you. Um, so one of them is I am always like, get me on the plane as early as possible because I want to make sure I have overhead room and all that kind of stuff. When traveling with the kids, if you don&#39;t have like something you have to put up above, like if you&#39;re just coming on with your backpack of stuff, swoop in at the last fucking second. Because to me, the worst time when you have kids on a plane is when you&#39;re on the plane but not moving. Yeah. Because the kids don&#39;t understand why we are sitting here, what are we doing? I feel like when you&#39;re flying in the air, the whole like, I don&#39;t want to be here tantrum kind of goes away. But when you&#39;re on the tarmac, they&#39;re like, what the fuck are we doing here? Let&#39;s move people. So my first hack is get on the plane at the last possible second, unless you need that overhead room. Gavin: 6:31 Yeah, despite the fact that, of course, the airlines all say children uh families with small children. Ignore that. Or yeah, agreed. Totally ignore that. Of course, I ignore that in life too, because I don&#39;t, I&#39;m like a two-year-old. I don&#39;t want to sit on a plane that&#39;s not moving either. So I&#39;m all about like waiting for them to basically call my name, be like, oh, this is my personal invitation to flight to board flight 572 to Peoria. David: 6:53 Gavin&#39;s also got the body of a two-year-old. He&#39;s like all torso. Do you know what I mean? Tiny little penis, all torso. Um, the other thing is, and again, if you&#39;ve heard these hacks before, um, delete this podcast. But one is if you have, you know, games or coloring books or iPads or whatever the things are, more of smaller things is better. It&#39;s the same with snacks. More of smaller things is better than a lot of one thing. So you&#39;re like, oh, I have an iPad, he&#39;s got a hundred apps on there. He&#39;s gonna get really bored with that after 40 minutes. So having an iPad, one coloring book, one sticker chart, one thing, having five things that you can bring out kind of renews the excitement. Agreed. It&#39;s the same thing with snacks, not a giant bag of pretzels, a little bag of pretzels, a little bag of pretzels, Cheerios, some goldfish, exactly because it all feels new and exciting. End of list. I have no other uh hacks for you. It&#39;s a one and a two. A one and a two. Because here&#39;s the thing traveling with kids is just really fucking hard. SPEAKER_02: 7:48 Yeah. David: 7:48 Um, oh wait, I have one more. I just realized. So we are a family of four, uh, two dads and two kids. And so when you most planes, I feel like are three and three. And so we&#39;re always like, where do we go? Gavin: 8:00 I think who&#39;s your favorite child at this point? Correct. Uh who do I want to dump onto my partner? David: 8:06 Exactly. I think the better way to do it is to do two and then two behind. Because then it&#39;s one parent, one kid, but the the nonstop passing shit back and forth is so much easier when you have aisle middle or middle window, because then you have a direct line back and forth. And also you put the kid who kicks the seat in the back one. So you&#39;re just kicking the other kid&#39;s seat. Doing three in one, I think, is not possible because then you have one partner who&#39;s on vacation and another partner who resents them. Gavin: 8:34 I swear the way we always did it was one partner got to be on vacation in one direction, and then you traded on the way back. And ultimately that we put the kids together so that they can kind of commiserate and uh they entertain each other. But you&#39;re right, the kicking factor, that&#39;s a very conscientious. There&#39;s strength of character right there, Mr. Yeah, I do have strength of character. David: 8:54 But I also think what you&#39;re suggesting is probably for slightly older children. My kids don&#39;t entertain each other, they annoy each other. Kind of like you and I. We don&#39;t entertain each other, we just annoy each other. Um what else is annoying? Gavin: 9:07 Speaking of annoying. David: 9:10 Our top three list. Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. Um, so you guys don&#39;t know what the top three list is this week because last week we didn&#39;t have a top three list. Gavin: 9:20 Boy, you do a great job of keeping track of things like that. Thank God for you, David Ep and Bonn. David: 9:25 So this week, uh it I&#39;ve decided is my week, um, like most weeks of the year. Um, and this week we are doing the top three ways you are MAGA. How are you just MAGA all the way? So, um I mean, how much time do we have? Because got a few here. I love it. All right, so uh and number three for me, tailgating. I fucking love some tailgating. I know that&#39;s not technically MAGA, but I&#39;m thinking of like Trump Rally parking lot MAGA where there&#39;s like football and there&#39;s grilling and there&#39;s lots of drinking and cheering and your best friends with a truck next to you. I fucking love that whole culture. I am totally MAGA for that. Um, number two, I am through and through a hypocrite. I for you don&#39;t do as I do, do as I say, right? I am a hypocrite through and through. Why don&#39;t you eat healthier while I&#39;m stuffing down nachos in the backseat of a Ford Tempo? So uh number two, I&#39;m a hypocrite. Number one, number one reason I am MAGA through and through is plastic straws. I want my plastic straws back. I love plastic straws. I hate sea turtles. I want to drink my Wendy&#39;s iced tea with my big fat red plastic straw. Gavin: 10:41 Excellent. I wasn&#39;t expecting this topic to bring up so many relatable items, but uh, but uh the more I thought about it, the more I&#39;m like, well, hell. For for ex for example, for me, number three, I love American rock slash country. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s really country. I think it&#39;s just more American rock. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don&#39;t even really hate kid rock. It&#39;s trashy, but I love like being that guy down on a dance floor in the middle of an afternoon at a country music festival. That&#39;s that&#39;s my jam. I can get into that. So um I&#39;m totally uh MAGA for American rock slash country. Um number two, I hate irony, nuance. Number one, I also love MAGA drag. I love themed t-shirts, I love red lipstick, I love big ass flags that just let you fly your freak flag, and all of the pomp and circumstance and pageantry. I&#39;m here for that. David: 11:42 You love the theater of it all. You just love the theater of it all, yeah. Gavin: 11:45 Just like MAGA heads, I love the theater, which frankly, yeah, there&#39;s a whole mask going on there, so I&#39;m here for the MAGA drag. David: 11:52 I also love like taking one stupid joke like Lex Go Brandon and driving it into the ground. Into the ground. I mean, that&#39;s this entire show. We&#39;re we&#39;re what are we on? Episode 78 or something today? Of the same joke. Of the same joke basically over and over. Or the same rant, at least. Yeah, exactly. All right, what&#39;s next week? Gavin: 12:10 So next week, since September is right around the corner, I&#39;m very conflicted about September. My birthday is in September. I do not consider September a fall month. I consider it still, you know, the end of summer and my birthday. And um, and well, what what more do I need to say beyond that? However, I think corporate America absolutely turns September into the beginning of fall. And suddenly, you know, Target, as we all know, corporate America uh leans into all the holidays way too soon. But, you know, stores already have Christmas shit out, but um it mainly it&#39;s just the summer or the excuse me, it&#39;s the season of pumpkin spice lattes, and all that are fucking annoying about pumpkin spice latte vibes. So I want to know the three ways that you are most annoyed by hashtag PSL vibes. Got it. Does that make sense? David: 12:59 Yeah. I mean, there&#39;s there&#39;s obviously a better way to say it, a cleaner, more interesting, journalistic way of saying that. But the way you said it also works. Okay, so our next guest is a writer, a writing coach, a wife, a mom, and also the founder of Dow Cakes, which coincidentally was also my grinder handle for a long time. Uh, please welcome to the show, Joanne Spitaro. Gavin: 13:24 Joanne! Thank you. David: 13:26 Hi, welcome. Gavin: 13:27 Thank you for getting up. What feels still like um uh a nice fresh Friday morning, and you look like a million bucks, but um, have you been looking this way for four hours, or is this just uh Absolutely not? SPEAKER_00: 13:41 No, no, you guys actually really got lucky with me today because I got my hair blown out a couple days ago, and I was like, you know what? It&#39;s gonna last through this interview, and I&#39;m gonna they&#39;re gonna think my hair always looks like this. David: 13:54 Interesting. Gavin just got his back blown out a couple days ago. So he&#39;s doing well too. I&#39;ve been sitting in this seat for four days now. Um, wait, so before we get into things, tell us...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we can&apos;t believe it but Gavin met our listener, we can believe that David rants about the cost of birthday parties, we try and figure out how to travel with kids better, we rank the top 3 ways we are MAGA, and this week we are joined by w]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we can&apos;t believe it but Gavin met our listener, we can believe that David rants about the cost of birthday parties, we try and figure out how to travel with kids better, we rank the top 3 ways we are MAGA, and this week we are joined by writer, Mom, and baker Joanne Spataro who talks to us about being a gay Mom, what it was like creating a family with a trans wife, and how she became BFF&apos;s with Whoopi Goldberg. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Erase that. Let&#39;s start again. David: 0:03 You can see my confusion as when you started, because I&#39;m looking at our outline and I&#39;m literally taking in a big breath about to start talking about birthday parties. And you launch into something that&#39;s not in the outline. Gavin: 0:15 Completely un I&#39;m just keeping you on your toes, David F. and Vaughn. David: 0:18 Ugh, this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So before you get started, I was at a party recently, and basically the paparazzi came after me because of what? Gatriarchs. Two. We have one listener. I know, but now we have two. I mean there&#39;s sisters. So does that count? Is that almost more like one? No, yeah, no, you that counts as two. David: 0:53 Yeah. They paid two sets of income taxes. Like they&#39;re they&#39;re considered two legal entities. Gavin: 0:58 It was very exciting. They came up to me and they let me know that they have been our longtime um listeners. And um one of the sisters in particular said, I just caught up last week. And um, and it was uh it was very uh it was very exciting. Um, one is gay, one is not, but they&#39;re both like big fans of the show. And uh that was so we can no longer say our listener, we have to now say listeners. It&#39;s gonna have to include Amy and Betsy. Yeah, listener plus Amy and Betsy. Now we listeners with names. So but it was gratifying because um they were fans. So shout out to Amy and Betsy. Thank you for letting me know that we are not just speaking out into the ether. David: 1:35 What are we gonna do with this newfound fame and wealth? Legitimately unsure of what we should do. I do I know what I&#39;m gonna do with my newfound fame. Do tell. I&#39;m gonna spend it on fucking birthday parties. Gavin: 1:48 Oh, do tell. David: 1:50 So last week I mentioned um our something great, or my something great for last week for our back to school episode was my son recently turned five. And that&#39;s really cool and great and whatever. Gavin: 1:59 Totally feels like a milestone. Five is a milestone. David: 2:02 It&#39;s just it&#39;s a big milestone. But what I left out was the fact that I had to pay for and throw a children&#39;s birthday party. And we talked a little bit about this. Today&#39;s good, we&#39;re gonna be re-business. A year ago. Gavin: 2:15 We&#39;ve been talking about birthday parties are an ongoing conversation, obviously. David: 2:18 It&#39;s an ongoing conversation, but you forget, you get lulled into, you know, you go to every weekend is a birthday party. If you have kids in daycare or or in kindergarten, every single weekend is somebody&#39;s birthday party. And it&#39;s the same three places in your town. And you forget until it&#39;s your turn to throw one, how goddamn expensive they are. Yep. So they they all say, oh,$3.99 for a birthday party up to 10 people. But it&#39;s it&#39;s when you walk out the door and you pay the bill, you forget that you&#39;re paying$30,$40 a head. Uh-huh. And that doesn&#39;t include cake, which is an upchart. It is just and it&#39;s it&#39;s and uh so I had a um a friend who came up to me afterwards, and she we have this kind of relationship, but she came up to me after the party. She goes, Thank you so much for inviting us and paying a thousand dollars so we could slide down the same slide we slide down every week. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s exactly what happened. And my son got 40 gifts, 39 of which he were gonna, you know, return back to Target. And so I have no solution here other than before you get to the parties where it&#39;s like your kids&#39; actual friends, where it&#39;s like five people in the backyard. Yeah, they it&#39;s a thousand dollars to turn five. Yeah, it&#39;s a thousand dollars. Gavin: 3:28 But when is somebody gonna be, you know, have that strength of character to say, no, I am not gonna do this? David: 3:34 Actually, I think I don&#39;t look at me for strength of character first. Gavin: 3:36 Yeah, no, I of course, I mean, I was you you saw my eyes went away from the screen as I was asking that. And I was reflecting, because it&#39;s certainly not my strength of character, but there are definitely our parents out there who are just like, we don&#39;t need to create uh be in this rat race. I mean, let&#39;s face it, you know who you are as a parent. You&#39;re grounded as a person with no strength um sense of character, of course. But also, we do this to like keep up with the Joneses. We kind of think we are failing our kids if we don&#39;t go into the full child birthday industrial complex. And so we&#39;re keeping up with Joneses, and eventually someone that we need to find that strength of character to say the Joneses suck. David: 4:15 So But you could just look at your kids and be like, they&#39;re just running around like they&#39;re running around on the playground every weekend with a friends anyway. Yeah. Why do we need to do it this way? Gavin: 4:22 For a couple of years, my son wanted just uh now he&#39;s a soccer fiend, but at the beginning of his soccer fiendom, he just wanted to have a birthday at a playground. Just a playground with some balloons on a picnic table, and he was thrilled. And I was like, This is awesome. Now let me just tell you, my daughter has made up for that tenfold for sure. David: 4:39 So, in keeping with our theme of revisiting old topics, I wanted to revisit a topic for any of our new listener um out there who didn&#39;t hear. And Amy and Betsy, yes, um, who did not hear this episode. Um, I recently did three trips with my kids. We flew to three different destinations to visit with some family. Um, it was a lot. And I was just thinking as I was going through the airport or being on a plane or having a blowout in the bathroom or sleeping in different locations, I was like, we should revisit this topic because um I know summer is over now, but traveling for the holidays and everything, when you travel with kids, there&#39;s gotta be a better way. There&#39;s gotta be a better way. Gavin: 5:19 But nobody has figured it out. I mean, this is a the talk about the parental industrial complex, mommy blogs and daddy blogs and gay dad podcasts center on how the hell to travel without you know putting a bullet through your brain. David: 5:33 Yeah. So here&#39;s I&#39;m just gonna give you my personal hacks of what now, again, I have a five-year-old and a two-year-old. Yeah, these are things that I have now done the past three times and that have worked and that I think could help everyone. But if not, sorry, you&#39;re on your own. Good luck to you. Um, so one of them is I am always like, get me on the plane as early as possible because I want to make sure I have overhead room and all that kind of stuff. When traveling with the kids, if you don&#39;t have like something you have to put up above, like if you&#39;re just coming on with your backpack of stuff, swoop in at the last fucking second. Because to me, the worst time when you have kids on a plane is when you&#39;re on the plane but not moving. Yeah. Because the kids don&#39;t understand why we are sitting here, what are we doing? I feel like when you&#39;re flying in the air, the whole like, I don&#39;t want to be here tantrum kind of goes away. But when you&#39;re on the tarmac, they&#39;re like, what the fuck are we doing here? Let&#39;s move people. So my first hack is get on the plane at the last possible second, unless you need that overhead room. Gavin: 6:31 Yeah, despite the fact that, of course, the airlines all say children uh families with small children. Ignore that. Or yeah, agreed. Totally ignore that. Of course, I ignore that in life too, because I don&#39;t, I&#39;m like a two-year-old. I don&#39;t want to sit on a plane that&#39;s not moving either. So I&#39;m all about like waiting for them to basically call my name, be like, oh, this is my personal invitation to flight to board flight 572 to Peoria. David: 6:53 Gavin&#39;s also got the body of a two-year-old. He&#39;s like all torso. Do you know what I mean? Tiny little penis, all torso. Um, the other thing is, and again, if you&#39;ve heard these hacks before, um, delete this podcast. But one is if you have, you know, games or coloring books or iPads or whatever the things are, more of smaller things is better. It&#39;s the same with snacks. More of smaller things is better than a lot of one thing. So you&#39;re like, oh, I have an iPad, he&#39;s got a hundred apps on there. He&#39;s gonna get really bored with that after 40 minutes. So having an iPad, one coloring book, one sticker chart, one thing, having five things that you can bring out kind of renews the excitement. Agreed. It&#39;s the same thing with snacks, not a giant bag of pretzels, a little bag of pretzels, a little bag of pretzels, Cheerios, some goldfish, exactly because it all feels new and exciting. End of list. I have no other uh hacks for you. It&#39;s a one and a two. A one and a two. Because here&#39;s the thing traveling with kids is just really fucking hard. SPEAKER_02: 7:48 Yeah. David: 7:48 Um, oh wait, I have one more. I just realized. So we are a family of four, uh, two dads and two kids. And so when you most planes, I feel like are three and three. And so we&#39;re always like, where do we go? Gavin: 8:00 I think who&#39;s your favorite child at this point? Correct. Uh who do I want to dump onto my partner? David: 8:06 Exactly. I think the better way to do it is to do two and then two behind. Because then it&#39;s one parent, one kid, but the the nonstop passing shit back and forth is so much easier when you have aisle middle or middle window, because then you have a direct line back and forth. And also you put the kid who kicks the seat in the back one. So you&#39;re just kicking the other kid&#39;s seat. Doing three in one, I think, is not possible because then you have one partner who&#39;s on vacation and another partner who resents them. Gavin: 8:34 I swear the way we always did it was one partner got to be on vacation in one direction, and then you traded on the way back. And ultimately that we put the kids together so that they can kind of commiserate and uh they entertain each other. But you&#39;re right, the kicking factor, that&#39;s a very conscientious. There&#39;s strength of character right there, Mr. Yeah, I do have strength of character. David: 8:54 But I also think what you&#39;re suggesting is probably for slightly older children. My kids don&#39;t entertain each other, they annoy each other. Kind of like you and I. We don&#39;t entertain each other, we just annoy each other. Um what else is annoying? Gavin: 9:07 Speaking of annoying. David: 9:10 Our top three list. Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. Um, so you guys don&#39;t know what the top three list is this week because last week we didn&#39;t have a top three list. Gavin: 9:20 Boy, you do a great job of keeping track of things like that. Thank God for you, David Ep and Bonn. David: 9:25 So this week, uh it I&#39;ve decided is my week, um, like most weeks of the year. Um, and this week we are doing the top three ways you are MAGA. How are you just MAGA all the way? So, um I mean, how much time do we have? Because got a few here. I love it. All right, so uh and number three for me, tailgating. I fucking love some tailgating. I know that&#39;s not technically MAGA, but I&#39;m thinking of like Trump Rally parking lot MAGA where there&#39;s like football and there&#39;s grilling and there&#39;s lots of drinking and cheering and your best friends with a truck next to you. I fucking love that whole culture. I am totally MAGA for that. Um, number two, I am through and through a hypocrite. I for you don&#39;t do as I do, do as I say, right? I am a hypocrite through and through. Why don&#39;t you eat healthier while I&#39;m stuffing down nachos in the backseat of a Ford Tempo? So uh number two, I&#39;m a hypocrite. Number one, number one reason I am MAGA through and through is plastic straws. I want my plastic straws back. I love plastic straws. I hate sea turtles. I want to drink my Wendy&#39;s iced tea with my big fat red plastic straw. Gavin: 10:41 Excellent. I wasn&#39;t expecting this topic to bring up so many relatable items, but uh, but uh the more I thought about it, the more I&#39;m like, well, hell. For for ex for example, for me, number three, I love American rock slash country. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s really country. I think it&#39;s just more American rock. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don&#39;t even really hate kid rock. It&#39;s trashy, but I love like being that guy down on a dance floor in the middle of an afternoon at a country music festival. That&#39;s that&#39;s my jam. I can get into that. So um I&#39;m totally uh MAGA for American rock slash country. Um number two, I hate irony, nuance. Number one, I also love MAGA drag. I love themed t-shirts, I love red lipstick, I love big ass flags that just let you fly your freak flag, and all of the pomp and circumstance and pageantry. I&#39;m here for that. David: 11:42 You love the theater of it all. You just love the theater of it all, yeah. Gavin: 11:45 Just like MAGA heads, I love the theater, which frankly, yeah, there&#39;s a whole mask going on there, so I&#39;m here for the MAGA drag. David: 11:52 I also love like taking one stupid joke like Lex Go Brandon and driving it into the ground. Into the ground. I mean, that&#39;s this entire show. We&#39;re we&#39;re what are we on? Episode 78 or something today? Of the same joke. Of the same joke basically over and over. Or the same rant, at least. Yeah, exactly. All right, what&#39;s next week? Gavin: 12:10 So next week, since September is right around the corner, I&#39;m very conflicted about September. My birthday is in September. I do not consider September a fall month. I consider it still, you know, the end of summer and my birthday. And um, and well, what what more do I need to say beyond that? However, I think corporate America absolutely turns September into the beginning of fall. And suddenly, you know, Target, as we all know, corporate America uh leans into all the holidays way too soon. But, you know, stores already have Christmas shit out, but um it mainly it&#39;s just the summer or the excuse me, it&#39;s the season of pumpkin spice lattes, and all that are fucking annoying about pumpkin spice latte vibes. So I want to know the three ways that you are most annoyed by hashtag PSL vibes. Got it. Does that make sense? David: 12:59 Yeah. I mean, there&#39;s there&#39;s obviously a better way to say it, a cleaner, more interesting, journalistic way of saying that. But the way you said it also works. Okay, so our next guest is a writer, a writing coach, a wife, a mom, and also the founder of Dow Cakes, which coincidentally was also my grinder handle for a long time. Uh, please welcome to the show, Joanne Spitaro. Gavin: 13:24 Joanne! Thank you. David: 13:26 Hi, welcome. Gavin: 13:27 Thank you for getting up. What feels still like um uh a nice fresh Friday morning, and you look like a million bucks, but um, have you been looking this way for four hours, or is this just uh Absolutely not? SPEAKER_00: 13:41 No, no, you guys actually really got lucky with me today because I got my hair blown out a couple days ago, and I was like, you know what? It&#39;s gonna last through this interview, and I&#39;m gonna they&#39;re gonna think my hair always looks like this. David: 13:54 Interesting. Gavin just got his back blown out a couple days ago. So he&#39;s doing well too. I&#39;ve been sitting in this seat for four days now. Um, wait, so before we get into things, tell us...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we can&apos;t believe it but Gavin met our listener, we can believe that David rants about the cost of birthday parties, we try and figure out how to travel with kids better, we rank the top 3 ways we are MAGA, and this week we are joined by writer, Mom, and baker Joanne Spataro who talks to us about being a gay Mom, what it was like creating a family with a trans wife, and how she became BFF&apos;s with Whoopi Goldberg. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Erase that. Let&#39;s start again. David: 0:03 You can see my confusion as when you started, because I&#39;m looking at our outline and I&#39;m literally taking in a big breath about to start talking about birthday parties. And you launch into something that&#39;s not in the outline. Gavin: 0:15 Completely un I&#39;m just keeping you on your toes, David F. and Vaughn. David: 0:18 Ugh, this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So before you get started, I was at a party recently, and basically the paparazzi came after me because of what? Gatriarchs. Two. We have one listener. I know, but now we have two. I mean there&#39;s sisters. So does that count? Is that almost more like one? No, yeah, no, you that counts as two. David: 0:53 Yeah. They paid two sets of income taxes. Like they&#39;re they&#39;re considered two legal entities. Gavin: 0:58 It was very exciting. They came up to me and they let me know that they have been our longtime um listeners. And um one of the sisters in particular said, I just caught up last week. And um, and it was uh it was very uh it was very exciting. Um, one is gay, one is not, but they&#39;re both like big fans of the show. And uh that was so we can no longer say our listener, we have to now say listeners. It&#39;s gonna have to include Amy and Betsy. Yeah, listener plus Amy and Betsy. Now we listeners with names. So but it was gratifying because um they were fans. So shout out to Amy and Betsy. Thank you for letting me know that we are not just speaking out into the ether. David: 1:35 What are we gonna do with this newfound fame and wealth? Legitimately unsure of what we should do. I do I know what I&#39;m gonna do with my newfound fame. Do tell. I&#39;m gonna spend it on fucking birthday parties. Gavin: 1:48 Oh, do tell. David: 1:50 So last week I mentioned um our something great, or my something great for last week for our back to school episode was my son recently turned five. And that&#39;s really cool and great and whatever. Gavin: 1:59 Totally feels like a milestone. Five is a milestone. David: 2:02 It&#39;s just it&#39;s a big milestone. But what I left out was the fact that I had to pay for and throw a children&#39;s birthday party. And we talked a little bit about this. Today&#39;s good, we&#39;re gonna be re-business. A year ago. Gavin: 2:15 We&#39;ve been talking about birthday parties are an ongoing conversation, obviously. David: 2:18 It&#39;s an ongoing conversation, but you forget, you get lulled into, you know, you go to every weekend is a birthday party. If you have kids in daycare or or in kindergarten, every single weekend is somebody&#39;s birthday party. And it&#39;s the same three places in your town. And you forget until it&#39;s your turn to throw one, how goddamn expensive they are. Yep. So they they all say, oh,$3.99 for a birthday party up to 10 people. But it&#39;s it&#39;s when you walk out the door and you pay the bill, you forget that you&#39;re paying$30,$40 a head. Uh-huh. And that doesn&#39;t include cake, which is an upchart. It is just and it&#39;s it&#39;s and uh so I had a um a friend who came up to me afterwards, and she we have this kind of relationship, but she came up to me after the party. She goes, Thank you so much for inviting us and paying a thousand dollars so we could slide down the same slide we slide down every week. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s exactly what happen]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we can&apos;t believe it but Gavin met our listener, we can believe that David rants about the cost of birthday parties, we try and figure out how to travel with kids better, we rank the top 3 ways we are MAGA, and this week we are joined by writer, Mom, and baker Joanne Spataro who talks to us about being a gay Mom, what it was like creating a family with a trans wife, and how she became BFF&apos;s with Whoopi Goldberg. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Erase that. Let&#39;s start again. David: 0:03 You can see my confusion as when you started, because I&#39;m looking at our outline and I&#39;m literally taking in a big breath about to start talking about birthday parties. And you launch into something that&#39;s not in the outline. Gavin: 0:15 Completely un I&#39;m just keeping you on your toes, David F. and Vaughn. David: 0:18 Ugh, this is Gatriarchs]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Alison Friedman and our Back to School special!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-alison-friedman-and-our-back-to-school-special/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 14 Aug 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-15547841</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week we are doing our special Back to School episode where we offer you no useful information whatsoever and waste and hour of your precious time! This week, we dive into what David expects for his kids first year in kindergarten, Gavin asks David the tough questions like &#34;what&apos;s for lunch?,&#34; we are joined by former guests who offer their #1 back to school hacks, and this week we are joined by school teacher and Broadway Buff Alison Friedman who educates us on how to be good to your teachers, how to not be a crazy annoying parent, and let&apos;s us know if she really does, secretly, hate your kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_14: 0:02 Oh, back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I&#39;m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don&#39;t get in a fight. Oh, back to school, back to school, back to school. Well, here goes nothing. David: 0:31 And this is Gatriarch. It&#39;s school time. It&#39;s our back to school episode, Gavin. Are you so excited? Gavin: 0:50 I am still I have been really good this summer at being in summer mode. And so I think I am in less denial about school happening again because I&#39;m like, no, no, no. I was I was in the mode. I was mindful about summer. So let&#39;s get back to school and get me my rhythm and get my kids out of my hair for at least a budgeted seven hours a day or whatever it is. Yeah, okay, let&#39;s do it. David: 1:16 So let&#39;s do it. So quickly before we start, I wanted to say the inspiration for this episode, for this special back to school episode, was from our listener. Gavin: 1:24 And our Our listener, finally, where we&#39;re gonna reveal our listeners. David: 1:27 Our listener reached out and said, Hey, are you gonna love the show? Are you gonna do a back to school episode? And I was like, we don&#39;t prepare as as nearly as much as you think we do, but that is a great idea. Gavin: 1:37 For the confidence. That is a great idea. David: 1:38 So today&#39;s episode is gonna be all about back to school. Our goal is by the end of this episode for you to have learned absolutely nothing. Nothing and have no skills whatsoever to bring with you to your child&#39;s first day of school. Gavin: 1:51 But you gotta have goals of some sort, and we I I think we will fulfill our goal today. David: 1:56 Absolutely. So let&#39;s start. So, Gabin, how do you think about getting ready for school? I want to put it some context. If we if you&#39;re a first-time listener, please don&#39;t ever listen to the show. Please delete it immediately from your podcast manager. But Gabin has kids, you have a what 13 and 11? Gavin: 2:15 Uh almost. 11 and 12 years old. David: 2:17 11 and 12-year-old. I have a now five and two-year-old. So we are at the opposite ends of the spectrum of school. I have never ever had a kid in school. This is my first year, but Gavin has. So, Gavin, how do you prepare for school? Gavin: 2:31 I don&#39;t. Okay. I uh, you know, my life is general um sprinting chaos to just keep up with the day. And no, I I I definitely wake up on the first day of school and think, oh my God, I haven&#39;t done this, this, this, this, and this, and this. But also, through the beauty of social media and the frenzy of parenting blogging out there, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m the only one who wakes up in a panic, you know, in a flop sweat, thinking, oh my god, here we go. And you already feel like you&#39;re, you know, uh an hour behind. David: 3:07 But the beauty of the internet, by the way, Gavin, what did you text me when I said I&#39;m ready to record? What did you text me, speaking of the beauty of the internet? Gavin: 3:15 Still pouring coffee and looking at uh uh at bearded studs. David: 3:19 At bearded studs. Gavin: 3:23 Shout out, hey bearded studs. So these two bearded studs right here on this podcast that you aren&#39;t seeing right now. Uh yeah, I the beauty of the internet lets me know that I&#39;m not alone in the frenzy of back to school mornings. And for those who are just like on the back of the first morning of school, I do not believe you, and we aren&#39;t friends, and you aren&#39;t listening to this anyway. So I will talk smack for sure. Anyway, what do I do? Okay, I will say we take advantage, we try to take advantage of the back to school shopping the week before, because we&#39;re in Connecticut, and I believe it&#39;s the same same across the tri-state area, New York and New Jersey, that they have tax-free weeks for clothing, you know, up to a certain amount of so you can&#39;t buy your kids, uh, you know, just buy your kids your their Louis Vuitton and their Gucci at any point of the year, you&#39;re not gonna get tax off um for that. But anyway, we do tend to do that. We also have been in school districts where we don&#39;t necessarily have to buy supplies here in Connecticut. So we don&#39;t get that joy, honestly, of like getting crayons and getting glue and getting scissors and whatnot. Um, it&#39;s all at the school. So um, and then when we were in New York, uh we our general shopping list was get us a bunch of paper towels and get us a bunch of Kleenex and just bring them in at some point during the year. And that lacked the the wonderful, happy vibes I still have from my childhood going to Target and getting my full supply. David: 4:50 I totally remember that. I totally remember being a kid and with a little list and how fun. Speaking of, let&#39;s talk about personal stories of first day of school. Do you have any that come to mind? I do. I yeah, I do. I will so and the little red schoolhouse on top of a hill. Yep. Yep. Gavin: 5:11 Yep, but that was up on top of the hill, and hence the hill that I had to walk up hill two miles in the snow both ways, et cetera, et cetera. I I think most of my back to school memories are related to my clothes that day because of right. Always having new shoes that were a little uncomfortable because they hadn&#39;t been broken in, having a new backpack that was also uncomfortable because it hadn&#39;t been broken in, having crisp jeans that were uncomfortable. Yeah, we get it. But I will never forget the time in uh I do remember this preschool, my probably my last year of preschool before kindergarten, I got to wear overalls to school. And I had never, I mean, I didn&#39;t remember wearing overalls. I&#39;m sure I, you know, had Oshkoshes back in the 1930s because they had probably been invented then, right? David: 5:57 After working in the copper mines, yeah. Gavin: 5:59 Yep. And I uh I remember we all went to the bathroom as training down the hallway as you do, and I went pee in the little stall, and uh but I couldn&#39;t get my overalls unbuckled because I had no experience doing it. And these were new buckles, and they were, you know, uh hard because they were new. And so I peed in my overalls and I peed my pants first day of school. And um, so my first day was absolutely ruined because I had wet pants on, and the teacher was like, Did you pee your pants? And I&#39;m like, No. And she&#39;s like, mm-hmm. So she had to take the pants off of me. I had to borrow somebody else&#39;s pants, probably Dirk Patterson&#39;s pants. And then, because the extra pants that maybe I didn&#39;t have that day. Uh that part I&#39;m blocking out. But I do remember running out of my first day of school, running to my mom, tears streaming down my face because I had peed my new overalls. That is a pretty vivid first day of school memory on my end. David: 7:01 And look what happened. Look what it made, look what it turned you into. Um, mine is similarly embarrassing, but uh a little different. It was my first day of high school, and obviously, all eyes are on the freshman. You&#39;re very, you know, you&#39;re in high school now, you&#39;re very nervous. I am not cool. Shocker to everyone out there. I was not a cool kid. And it was raining. I was in Florida, and I had decided I was going to wear brown bass dress shoes, white tube socks, green umbro shorts, and a white Bart Simpson t-shirt. This is the fashion that we were dealing with in 1995 in Florida. And so it was raining, and it was lunchtime, and so I was going through the line and I had my whatever and fries, and then there you have the big ketchup pumps. So I&#39;m pumping, you know, an obscene amount of ketchup onto my plate, and I&#39;m looking for an empty table because obviously I can&#39;t sit with anybody because I&#39;m not cool and I don&#39;t know anybody. And I just do the cartoonyest thing in the world where I step on some water, my my dress shoes from bass shoot out from under me, and in a cartoon flip, my feet go over my head, my tray goes up in the sky, and I land on my back, and then ketchup rains all over me, and it&#39;s right down center where everyone sees it. The whole thing stops and everyone starts screaming, laughing. And that was really embarrassing because you know, I&#39;m setting the tone for the year, but also like this is not preschool where you can just change your clothes. I don&#39;t have a cell phone to call mom. I don&#39;t have extra clothes. So I am now Hester Prynn for the rest of the day, covered in my red scarlet letter, covered in ketchup, smelling like vinegar and sugar. It was just the most humiliating moment of my life. Gavin: 8:52 Oh, that&#39;s so that&#39;s that&#39;s how we look and look and here you are, letting out all of your PTSD and your baggage out on our podcast. David: 9:02 Okay, so I think let&#39;s move on. Well, we have we have talked about our trauma. Let&#39;s move on. Um, you have some questions for me as a newbie going into school for the first time. You have some questions to ask me, and so go for it. I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re gonna ask me, but go for it. Gavin: 9:18 First off, like, are you nervous about it? I mean, you&#39;ve been we have been talking about this episode for quite a while now. You have brought it up a thousand times without actually exposing your anxiety about it, but do you have anxiety about the first day of school? David: 9:31 I don&#39;t have anxiety in anything beyond how I&#39;m feeling for my son. Like I want him to not be terrified or bullied or all the things that maybe are gonna happen anyway. That part I&#39;m very nervous about because my kid is very, he&#39;s a little fragile, he&#39;s very sensitive. And so I he&#39;s very emotional. So I don&#39;t uh it may happen either way, but I want it to go well for him. I want him to be excited. He is so far, so that&#39;s the only thing I&#39;m kind of nervous about as far as like different school, different drop-off, different rules, different things like that. I&#39;m I&#39;m annoyed by all of that in general, um, because my both of my kids go to the same building every day at the exact same time. And now I&#39;m gonna have to double my pickup and drop-off commute. Gavin: 10:20 Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, princess problems, David. Okay. Now, what&#39;s funny about this is this just shows how much character you have uh because I don&#39;t care about your kid. What I want to know is what are you personally worried about in the sense of being ready on the first day of school for success? What worries you first? David: 10:39 I&#39;m just so cool, Gayvin. I don&#39;t have any worries in the whole world. No, I I I I legitimately I it maybe it&#39;s just because like our school, we&#39;ve already been to an orientation, a parents&#39; orientation. It&#39;s just down the street from us. So I&#39;m not really worried. I guess, I guess one thing I&#39;m I&#39;m a little I have a little bit of anxiety about is that we have been in the preschool slash daycare program of ours for years and years and years. We know all of these kids by by their name. We know all of their parents. Their parents know us. I fully trust if I had to run outside, I could give one of these parents my kid. There&#39;s just a built-in community there. All of that goes away. We literally, none of those kids are going to our kindergarten. And I&#39;m worried that like these other parents aren&#39;t gonna think I&#39;m as cool as I really am. That&#39;s my big worry is do they recognize how fucking amazing I am? Gavin: 11:27 Yeah, and how I mean, humble and here to serve everybody else as you state that you are so cool. Well, maybe I&#39;m exposing my underbell here because oh my goodness, I had so many anxieties. But nevertheless, what do you envision for packing your kids&#39; lunch the first day of school? David: 11:45 I&#39;m gonna pack his lunch exactly how I pack it now, which is where I have the I have these little plastic containers and they have like three sections. They have a main section and then two small sections. A bento. And so exactly kind of a bent. And what I&#39;ll usually do is I&#39;ll do one thing I know he likes and two aspirational things, right? Two things, one of like, you know, an a fruit and a vegetable he&#39;s never tried before. And then knowing full well that we&#39;ll come home, I also give him the the you know the cheese sandwich or whatever he wants. So my envision is to continue that going on, but I know that what&#39;s coming is that there will be more social influence to be like, why can&#39;t I have the blank? Right now he doesn&#39;t question it. Right now, whatever&#39;s in his food he either eats or doesn&#39;t, but he doesn&#39;t ask me for anything specific. That&#39;s nice. Gavin: 12:26 Uh what about uh do you did did you have to buy any supplies to be ready? David: 12:31 There is a supply list and it&#39;s like cliche as it sounds. It&#39;s crayons and paper and and scissors and you know, I don&#39;t know. And have you already done that? No, no. Oh, okay. I have not even looked at that list, but I am excited. Gavin: 12:43 School starts tomorrow, right? Aren&#39;t we releasing this episode? No, our school starts late. David: 12:47 Uh our school starts uh in the second week of September. Our school starts late. Gavin: 12:52 Have you already received a bunch of emails from the school about this, that, and the other? A hundred emails. David: 12:56 They have like a portal, um, but it&#39;s like bus, you know, bus registration and and free lunch applications and um uh ID badge applications and all the things. Yes, it&#39;s it&#39;s like signing, it&#39;s like joining the RB. Gavin: 13:10 Yeah, a hundred percent. And then this will change your daily schedule. How are you gonna be managing that schedule? I dread drop off first. David: 13:18 I dread it so much because in my town, although it&#39;s a small town, kindergarten is on one far end of it, and my daycare is literally on the opposite far end of it. And so we&#39;re doing aftercare, so it&#39;s gonna be, I don&#39;t, I have I literally have no idea. I don&#39;t know who I&#39;m gonna pick up first, if that kid is gonna be mad that and then I have to bring that kid into the next building to pick up the second kid. It&#39;s just I I maybe I&#39;ll just not maybe I&#39;ll just not have my kids go to school because it&#39;s really inconvenient for me, honestly. Gavin: 13:45 You and listener think that my life is chaos, but what I am hearing you saying is that you have not actually had the because you&#39;re so cool, you haven&#39;t gone down the rabbit hole of anxiety about all of these choices that need to be made, especially to adapt to drop-up and pickup. Right. SPEAKER_09: 14:00 Okay, well, all right. David: 14:00 I&#39;m right now I&#39;m spoiled because our daycare, both of my kids go to the same building, and the building is attached to my gym. So if I go to work out, I drop the kids off. Like everything happens in the same place. Gavin: 14:10 You said, you said exactly basically what I was gonna call you out on. So thank you for your self-awareness that you are so spoiled that this is completely uninteresting because you, your kid has been going to school since they were two...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we are doing our special Back to School episode where we offer you no useful information whatsoever and waste and hour of your precious time! This week, we dive into what David expects for his kids first year in kindergarten, Gavin asks David t]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we are doing our special Back to School episode where we offer you no useful information whatsoever and waste and hour of your precious time! This week, we dive into what David expects for his kids first year in kindergarten, Gavin asks David the tough questions like &#34;what&apos;s for lunch?,&#34; we are joined by former guests who offer their #1 back to school hacks, and this week we are joined by school teacher and Broadway Buff Alison Friedman who educates us on how to be good to your teachers, how to not be a crazy annoying parent, and let&apos;s us know if she really does, secretly, hate your kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_14: 0:02 Oh, back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I&#39;m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don&#39;t get in a fight. Oh, back to school, back to school, back to school. Well, here goes nothing. David: 0:31 And this is Gatriarch. It&#39;s school time. It&#39;s our back to school episode, Gavin. Are you so excited? Gavin: 0:50 I am still I have been really good this summer at being in summer mode. And so I think I am in less denial about school happening again because I&#39;m like, no, no, no. I was I was in the mode. I was mindful about summer. So let&#39;s get back to school and get me my rhythm and get my kids out of my hair for at least a budgeted seven hours a day or whatever it is. Yeah, okay, let&#39;s do it. David: 1:16 So let&#39;s do it. So quickly before we start, I wanted to say the inspiration for this episode, for this special back to school episode, was from our listener. Gavin: 1:24 And our Our listener, finally, where we&#39;re gonna reveal our listeners. David: 1:27 Our listener reached out and said, Hey, are you gonna love the show? Are you gonna do a back to school episode? And I was like, we don&#39;t prepare as as nearly as much as you think we do, but that is a great idea. Gavin: 1:37 For the confidence. That is a great idea. David: 1:38 So today&#39;s episode is gonna be all about back to school. Our goal is by the end of this episode for you to have learned absolutely nothing. Nothing and have no skills whatsoever to bring with you to your child&#39;s first day of school. Gavin: 1:51 But you gotta have goals of some sort, and we I I think we will fulfill our goal today. David: 1:56 Absolutely. So let&#39;s start. So, Gabin, how do you think about getting ready for school? I want to put it some context. If we if you&#39;re a first-time listener, please don&#39;t ever listen to the show. Please delete it immediately from your podcast manager. But Gabin has kids, you have a what 13 and 11? Gavin: 2:15 Uh almost. 11 and 12 years old. David: 2:17 11 and 12-year-old. I have a now five and two-year-old. So we are at the opposite ends of the spectrum of school. I have never ever had a kid in school. This is my first year, but Gavin has. So, Gavin, how do you prepare for school? Gavin: 2:31 I don&#39;t. Okay. I uh, you know, my life is general um sprinting chaos to just keep up with the day. And no, I I I definitely wake up on the first day of school and think, oh my God, I haven&#39;t done this, this, this, this, and this, and this. But also, through the beauty of social media and the frenzy of parenting blogging out there, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m the only one who wakes up in a panic, you know, in a flop sweat, thinking, oh my god, here we go. And you already feel like you&#39;re, you know, uh an hour behind. David: 3:07 But the beauty of the internet, by the way, Gavin, what did you text me when I said I&#39;m ready to record? What did you text me, speaking of the beauty of the internet? Gavin: 3:15 Still pouring coffee and looking at uh uh at bearded studs. David: 3:19 At bearded studs. Gavin: 3:23 Shout out, hey bearded studs. So these two bearded studs right here on this podcast that you aren&#39;t seeing right now. Uh yeah, I the beauty of the internet lets me know that I&#39;m not alone in the frenzy of back to school mornings. And for those who are just like on the back of the first morning of school, I do not believe you, and we aren&#39;t friends, and you aren&#39;t listening to this anyway. So I will talk smack for sure. Anyway, what do I do? Okay, I will say we take advantage, we try to take advantage of the back to school shopping the week before, because we&#39;re in Connecticut, and I believe it&#39;s the same same across the tri-state area, New York and New Jersey, that they have tax-free weeks for clothing, you know, up to a certain amount of so you can&#39;t buy your kids, uh, you know, just buy your kids your their Louis Vuitton and their Gucci at any point of the year, you&#39;re not gonna get tax off um for that. But anyway, we do tend to do that. We also have been in school districts where we don&#39;t necessarily have to buy supplies here in Connecticut. So we don&#39;t get that joy, honestly, of like getting crayons and getting glue and getting scissors and whatnot. Um, it&#39;s all at the school. So um, and then when we were in New York, uh we our general shopping list was get us a bunch of paper towels and get us a bunch of Kleenex and just bring them in at some point during the year. And that lacked the the wonderful, happy vibes I still have from my childhood going to Target and getting my full supply. David: 4:50 I totally remember that. I totally remember being a kid and with a little list and how fun. Speaking of, let&#39;s talk about personal stories of first day of school. Do you have any that come to mind? I do. I yeah, I do. I will so and the little red schoolhouse on top of a hill. Yep. Yep. Gavin: 5:11 Yep, but that was up on top of the hill, and hence the hill that I had to walk up hill two miles in the snow both ways, et cetera, et cetera. I I think most of my back to school memories are related to my clothes that day because of right. Always having new shoes that were a little uncomfortable because they hadn&#39;t been broken in, having a new backpack that was also uncomfortable because it hadn&#39;t been broken in, having crisp jeans that were uncomfortable. Yeah, we get it. But I will never forget the time in uh I do remember this preschool, my probably my last year of preschool before kindergarten, I got to wear overalls to school. And I had never, I mean, I didn&#39;t remember wearing overalls. I&#39;m sure I, you know, had Oshkoshes back in the 1930s because they had probably been invented then, right? David: 5:57 After working in the copper mines, yeah. Gavin: 5:59 Yep. And I uh I remember we all went to the bathroom as training down the hallway as you do, and I went pee in the little stall, and uh but I couldn&#39;t get my overalls unbuckled because I had no experience doing it. And these were new buckles, and they were, you know, uh hard because they were new. And so I peed in my overalls and I peed my pants first day of school. And um, so my first day was absolutely ruined because I had wet pants on, and the teacher was like, Did you pee your pants? And I&#39;m like, No. And she&#39;s like, mm-hmm. So she had to take the pants off of me. I had to borrow somebody else&#39;s pants, probably Dirk Patterson&#39;s pants. And then, because the extra pants that maybe I didn&#39;t have that day. Uh that part I&#39;m blocking out. But I do remember running out of my first day of school, running to my mom, tears streaming down my face because I had peed my new overalls. That is a pretty vivid first day of school memory on my end. David: 7:01 And look what happened. Look what it made, look what it turned you into. Um, mine is similarly embarrassing, but uh a little different. It was my first day of high school, and obviously, all eyes are on the freshman. You&#39;re very, you know, you&#39;re in high school now, you&#39;re very nervous. I am not cool. Shocker to everyone out there. I was not a cool kid. And it was raining. I was in Florida, and I had decided I was going to wear brown bass dress shoes, white tube socks, green umbro shorts, and a white Bart Simpson t-shirt. This is the fashion that we were dealing with in 1995 in Florida. And so it was raining, and it was lunchtime, and so I was going through the line and I had my whatever and fries, and then there you have the big ketchup pumps. So I&#39;m pumping, you know, an obscene amount of ketchup onto my plate, and I&#39;m looking for an empty table because obviously I can&#39;t sit with anybody because I&#39;m not cool and I don&#39;t know anybody. And I just do the cartoonyest thing in the world where I step on some water, my my dress shoes from bass shoot out from under me, and in a cartoon flip, my feet go over my head, my tray goes up in the sky, and I land on my back, and then ketchup rains all over me, and it&#39;s right down center where everyone sees it. The whole thing stops and everyone starts screaming, laughing. And that was really embarrassing because you know, I&#39;m setting the tone for the year, but also like this is not preschool where you can just change your clothes. I don&#39;t have a cell phone to call mom. I don&#39;t have extra clothes. So I am now Hester Prynn for the rest of the day, covered in my red scarlet letter, covered in ketchup, smelling like vinegar and sugar. It was just the most humiliating moment of my life. Gavin: 8:52 Oh, that&#39;s so that&#39;s that&#39;s how we look and look and here you are, letting out all of your PTSD and your baggage out on our podcast. David: 9:02 Okay, so I think let&#39;s move on. Well, we have we have talked about our trauma. Let&#39;s move on. Um, you have some questions for me as a newbie going into school for the first time. You have some questions to ask me, and so go for it. I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re gonna ask me, but go for it. Gavin: 9:18 First off, like, are you nervous about it? I mean, you&#39;ve been we have been talking about this episode for quite a while now. You have brought it up a thousand times without actually exposing your anxiety about it, but do you have anxiety about the first day of school? David: 9:31 I don&#39;t have anxiety in anything beyond how I&#39;m feeling for my son. Like I want him to not be terrified or bullied or all the things that maybe are gonna happen anyway. That part I&#39;m very nervous about because my kid is very, he&#39;s a little fragile, he&#39;s very sensitive. And so I he&#39;s very emotional. So I don&#39;t uh it may happen either way, but I want it to go well for him. I want him to be excited. He is so far, so that&#39;s the only thing I&#39;m kind of nervous about as far as like different school, different drop-off, different rules, different things like that. I&#39;m I&#39;m annoyed by all of that in general, um, because my both of my kids go to the same building every day at the exact same time. And now I&#39;m gonna have to double my pickup and drop-off commute. Gavin: 10:20 Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, princess problems, David. Okay. Now, what&#39;s funny about this is this just shows how much character you have uh because I don&#39;t care about your kid. What I want to know is what are you personally worried about in the sense of being ready on the first day of school for success? What worries you first? David: 10:39 I&#39;m just so cool, Gayvin. I don&#39;t have any worries in the whole world. No, I I I I legitimately I it maybe it&#39;s just because like our school, we&#39;ve already been to an orientation, a parents&#39; orientation. It&#39;s just down the street from us. So I&#39;m not really worried. I guess, I guess one thing I&#39;m I&#39;m a little I have a little bit of anxiety about is that we have been in the preschool slash daycare program of ours for years and years and years. We know all of these kids by by their name. We know all of their parents. Their parents know us. I fully trust if I had to run outside, I could give one of these parents my kid. There&#39;s just a built-in community there. All of that goes away. We literally, none of those kids are going to our kindergarten. And I&#39;m worried that like these other parents aren&#39;t gonna think I&#39;m as cool as I really am. That&#39;s my big worry is do they recognize how fucking amazing I am? Gavin: 11:27 Yeah, and how I mean, humble and here to serve everybody else as you state that you are so cool. Well, maybe I&#39;m exposing my underbell here because oh my goodness, I had so many anxieties. But nevertheless, what do you envision for packing your kids&#39; lunch the first day of school? David: 11:45 I&#39;m gonna pack his lunch exactly how I pack it now, which is where I have the I have these little plastic containers and they have like three sections. They have a main section and then two small sections. A bento. And so exactly kind of a bent. And what I&#39;ll usually do is I&#39;ll do one thing I know he likes and two aspirational things, right? Two things, one of like, you know, an a fruit and a vegetable he&#39;s never tried before. And then knowing full well that we&#39;ll come home, I also give him the the you know the cheese sandwich or whatever he wants. So my envision is to continue that going on, but I know that what&#39;s coming is that there will be more social influence to be like, why can&#39;t I have the blank? Right now he doesn&#39;t question it. Right now, whatever&#39;s in his food he either eats or doesn&#39;t, but he doesn&#39;t ask me for anything specific. That&#39;s nice. Gavin: 12:26 Uh what about uh do you did did you have to buy any supplies to be ready? David: 12:31 There is a supply list and it&#39;s like cliche as it sounds. It&#39;s crayons and paper and and scissors and you know, I don&#39;t know. And have you already done that? No, no. Oh, okay. I have not even looked at that list, but I am excited. Gavin: 12:43 School starts tomorrow, right? Aren&#39;t we releasing this episode? No, our school starts late. David: 12:47 Uh our school starts uh in the second week of September. Our school starts late. Gavin: 12:52 Have you already received a bunch of emails from the school about this, that, and the other? A hundred emails. David: 12:56 They have like a portal, um, but it&#39;s like bus, you know, bus registration and and free lunch applications and um uh ID badge applications and all the things. Yes, it&#39;s it&#39;s like signing, it&#39;s like joining the RB. Gavin: 13:10 Yeah, a hundred percent. And then this will change your daily schedule. How are you gonna be managing that schedule? I dread drop off first. David: 13:18 I dread it so much because in my town, although it&#39;s a small town, kindergarten is on one far end of it, and my daycare is literally on the opposite far end of it. And so we&#39;re doing aftercare, so it&#39;s gonna be, I don&#39;t, I have I literally have no idea. I don&#39;t know who I&#39;m gonna pick up first, if that kid is gonna be mad that and then I have to bring that kid into the next building to pick up the second kid. It&#39;s just I I maybe I&#39;ll just not maybe I&#39;ll just not have my kids go to school because it&#39;s really inconvenient for me, honestly. Gavin: 13:45 You and listener think that my life is chaos, but what I am hearing you saying is that you have not actually had the because you&#39;re so cool, you haven&#39;t gone down the rabbit hole of anxiety about all of these choices that need to be made, especially to adapt to drop-up and pickup. Right. SPEAKER_09: 14:00 Okay, well, all right. David: 14:00 I&#39;m right now I&#39;m spoiled because our daycare, both of my kids go to the same building, and the building is attached to my gym. So if I go to work out, I drop the kids off. Like everything happens in the same place. Gavin: 14:10 You said, you said exactly basically what I was gonna call you out on. So thank you for your self-awareness that you are so spoiled that this is completely uninteresting because you, your kid has been going to school since they were two...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we are doing our special Back to School episode where we offer you no useful information whatsoever and waste and hour of your precious time! This week, we dive into what David expects for his kids first year in kindergarten, Gavin asks David the tough questions like &#34;what&apos;s for lunch?,&#34; we are joined by former guests who offer their #1 back to school hacks, and this week we are joined by school teacher and Broadway Buff Alison Friedman who educates us on how to be good to your teachers, how to not be a crazy annoying parent, and let&apos;s us know if she really does, secretly, hate your kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_14: 0:02 Oh, back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I&#39;m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don&#39;t get in a fight. Oh, back to school, back to school, back to school. Well, here goes nothing. David: 0:31 And this is Gatriarch. It&#39;s school time. It&#39;s our back to school episode, Gavin. Are you so excited? Gavin: 0:50 I am still I have been really good this summer at being in summer mode. And so I think I am in less denial about school happening again because I&#39;m like, no, no, no. I was I was in the mode. I was mindful about summer. So let&#39;s get back to school and get me my rhythm and get my kids out of my hair for at least a budgeted seven hours a day or whatever it is. Yeah, okay, let&#39;s do it. David: 1:16 So let&#39;s do it. So quickly before we start, I wanted to say the inspiration for this episode, for this special back to school episode, was from our listener. Gavin: 1:24 And our Our listener, finally, where we&#39;re gonna reveal our listeners. David: 1:27 Our listener reached out and said, Hey, are you gonna love the show? Are you gonna do a back to school episode? And I was like, we don&#39;t prepare as as nearly as much as you think we do, but that is a great idea. Gavin: 1:37 For the confidence. That is a great idea. David: 1:38 So today&#39;s episode is gonna be all about back to school. Our goal is by the end of this episode for you to have learned absolutely nothing. Nothing and have no skills whatsoever to bring with you to your child&#39;s first day of school. Gavin: 1:51 But you gotta have goals of some sort, and we I I think we will fulfill our goal today. David: 1:56 Absolutely. So let&#39;s start. So, Gabin, how do you think about getting ready for school? I want to put it some context. If we if you&#39;re a first-time listener, please don&#39;t ever listen to the show. Please delete it immediately from your podcast manager. But Gabin has kids, you have a what 13 and 11? Gavin: 2:15 Uh almost. 11 and 12 years old. David: 2:17 11 and 12-year-old. I have a now five and two-year-old. So we are at the opposite ends of the spectrum of school. I have never ever had a kid in school. This is my first year, but Gavin has. So, Gavin, how do you prepare for school? Gavin: 2:31 I don&#39;t. Okay. I uh, you know, my life is general um sprinting chaos to just keep up with the day. And no, I I I definitely wake up on the first day of school and think, oh my God, I haven&#39;t done this, this, this, this, and this, and this. But also, through the beauty of social media and the frenzy of parenting blogging out there, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m the only one who wakes up in a panic, you know, in a flop sweat, thinking, oh my god, here we go. And you already feel like you&#39;re, you know, uh an hour behind. David: 3:07 But the beauty of the internet, by the way, Gavin, what did you text me when I said I&#39;m ready to record? What did you text me, speaking of the beauty of the internet? Gavin: 3:15 Still pouring coffee and looking at uh uh at bearded studs. David: 3:19 At bearded studs. Gavin: 3:23 Shout out, hey bearded studs. So these two bearded studs right here on this podcast that you aren&]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we are doing our special Back to School episode where we offer you no useful information whatsoever and waste and hour of your precious time! This week, we dive into what David expects for his kids first year in kindergarten, Gavin asks David the tough questions like &#34;what&apos;s for lunch?,&#34; we are joined by former guests who offer their #1 back to school hacks, and this week we are joined by school teacher and Broadway Buff Alison Friedman who educates us on how to be good to your teachers, how to not be a crazy annoying parent, and let&apos;s us know if she really does, secretly, hate your kids. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_14: 0:02 Oh, back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I&#39;m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don&#39;t get in a fight. Oh, back to school, back to school, back to school. We]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>Dičk News Special!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/dick-news-special/</link>
	<pubDate>Sun, 11 Aug 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-15552031</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[In honor of the Olympic closing ceremonies today, we are breaking with tradition and bringing you a special short episode, all about dicks in the news! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Perilous purple penises spotted off the coast of England. This is Dick News. Okay, welcome to our first edition of a very special episode of Datriarch&#39;s. Uh-huh. A la dick news. We have a lot of dick news to get to, and we were just like, we&#39;re going to create a special quick episode. It&#39;s Sunday. It&#39;s the closing day of the Olympics, and there has been a lot of dicks in the news. Gavin: 0:27 Olympic level, Olympic level dick news. So we figured we got to get this in as America&#39;s finest news source. We&#39;re here for you, listen to it. David: 0:36 Absolutely. It has been a lot of dicks in the Olympics. Summer Olympics are always full of dicks, and we always love it. But this year, very like a lot of literally dick-focused journalism happening. Gavin: 0:46 Getting in the way of uh of the athletes and their goals and their objectives. Yeah. So I now you would literally have to live under a rock to not know about Anthony Amarati, a French pole vaulter. We all know about it. The bulge that went viral, the bulge heard round felt round the world, etc. David: 1:08 Unlike an American pole smoker like you. Gavin: 1:11 What did crack me up about this is that first of all, the internet is amazing for so many reasons sometimes, and people&#39;s creativity in their commenting is fantastic. I mean, my favorite is like, yes, the references to like somebody needs to get him a drag queen to teach him to some tucking skills, for instance, and casually setting my dating profile to how would you fare as a pole vaulter? Which is um genius. But uh, you know, the the news in this entire story that people might not know about is that he has been approached by several companies to to show it, display his vaulting abilities, I suppose. And that um according to TMZ Sports, we&#39;re gonna come back to that, uh, he was offered$250,000 to do an hour-long I you know display of his pole vaulting abilities, which is um not an insignificant which is not an insignificant amount of money, obviously. Now um he&#39;s French and he probably no doubt, you know that this guy is like, you know, where the only place this that this is news is America. Of course. Because the rest of the world is. Because we&#39;re puritanical idiots. Because we&#39;re puritanical, we&#39;re like little giddy little schoolgirls, but come on. You know, some French gay dudes are also like, no, no, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s tw trending there as well. But nevertheless, his only response thus far has been like, well, you know what? I had a bunch of other jumps that were much more successful. It&#39;s too bad you pathetic Puritans are focusing on this. David: 2:42 And honestly, shame me all you want, but I&#39;m into what I&#39;m into. Sorry, dude. Sorry, Anthony. Gavin: 2:47 But we will undoubtedly have another edition of um Olympic Dick News part two, part duh, if we hear some news that Anthony has accepted a$250,000 offer. Would you do um, you know, an hour, an hour, an hour long? That&#39;s a lot of performance. That&#39;s a lot. David: 3:03 Like, what are like what am I supposed to do for the other like 58 and a half minutes? Gavin: 3:09 But I bet you could figure it out for 250k. Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah. And there you go. Um, did you also know? I mean, all of this dick news is frankly focused on two-thirds of it is focused on France. But there&#39;s also a diver. Do you know about Jules Bouillet? No, tell me about Jules Bouillet. Bouillet, I&#39;m pretty sure, is how you would pronounce his name. Well, he definitely went viral as a diver. I mean, those divers, those are talk about bikini cut. David: 3:36 They are leaving nothing to the imagination, and I appreciate it. Gavin: 3:39 They are so low cut that you&#39;re so low-cut. David: 3:42 You were in danger, girl. You are in danger. One one light breeze away from being fully exposed. Gavin: 3:49 And boy, there&#39;s a lot of manscaping that&#39;s got to go on because holy cow. Anyway, Jules Bouillet definitely uh made a splash, as it were, with his, you know, the way he filled out his swimsuit. And so there&#39;s a company called Shinesty that you&#39;re welcome, Shinesty, for all of the price you&#39;re getting out of this, not just Gatriarchs mentioning, is that they&#39;ve offered a lifetime supply of undies to Jules Bouillet. And I think this is one of those companies that specializes in like an extra little layer for the balls and the separation and the lift and cut and whatnot and whatnot. But I I do appreciate that in their advertising, or rather, in their press release to Jules Bouillet, they definitely said, we want to help protect what you have in the south of France. David: 4:33 I mean, it&#39;s amazing. And also that photo, it&#39;s just first of all, it&#39;s from the side, so you&#39;re getting a little bit of help from that, but it does look like he&#39;s smuggling a quarter pound honey-baked ham in there. I mean, it looks like like happy Thanksgiving, grandma. Um, yeah. Um, so much wonderful dick news. Gavin: 4:49 And not to be outdone, um, there is one person who&#39;s actually leaning into his, well, dick news. And that&#39;s uh the New Zealand roarer Robbie Manson, who uh has come forward with saying most of his salary comes from his OnlyFans page. And that he&#39;s basically like, listen, I am an out-gay athlete. I already have a gay following, and I&#39;m kind of leaning into this. You might as well let shine what the good Lord gave you, and he knows what he&#39;s doing, and um, and hey, it&#39;s tough to make a living in this world, and plus he&#39;s got to be out on the water rowing and training all the time to get in the Olympics, right? So I do think that many people, many journalists, were basically asking what is on his OnlyFans page, and he&#39;s like, well, artistic nudes. Artistic nudes. And if you want to see more than that, subscribe, motherfucker. Subscribe. David: 5:41 $7.99 a month, half off today only. So that completes our first special Dick News edition. I want to give special shout out to my very good friend Will, who created our opening and closing music. This is some of my favorite one of my favorite things I&#39;ve ever listened to, ever. Um, we hope to bring you lots of more dick news. Um, we know this is a gay parenting comedy podcast, but listen, we are gay men and sometimes we want to know what is the dick news. So thank you for joining us on our special episode of Dick News. We will see you again on Wednesday for our next episode, our back to school special. Bait giant dogs spewing death from above. This is Dick News.]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[In honor of the Olympic closing ceremonies today, we are breaking with tradition and bringing you a special short episode, all about dicks in the news! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywher]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[In honor of the Olympic closing ceremonies today, we are breaking with tradition and bringing you a special short episode, all about dicks in the news! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Perilous purple penises spotted off the coast of England. This is Dick News. Okay, welcome to our first edition of a very special episode of Datriarch&#39;s. Uh-huh. A la dick news. We have a lot of dick news to get to, and we were just like, we&#39;re going to create a special quick episode. It&#39;s Sunday. It&#39;s the closing day of the Olympics, and there has been a lot of dicks in the news. Gavin: 0:27 Olympic level, Olympic level dick news. So we figured we got to get this in as America&#39;s finest news source. We&#39;re here for you, listen to it. David: 0:36 Absolutely. It has been a lot of dicks in the Olympics. Summer Olympics are always full of dicks, and we always love it. But this year, very like a lot of literally dick-focused journalism happening. Gavin: 0:46 Getting in the way of uh of the athletes and their goals and their objectives. Yeah. So I now you would literally have to live under a rock to not know about Anthony Amarati, a French pole vaulter. We all know about it. The bulge that went viral, the bulge heard round felt round the world, etc. David: 1:08 Unlike an American pole smoker like you. Gavin: 1:11 What did crack me up about this is that first of all, the internet is amazing for so many reasons sometimes, and people&#39;s creativity in their commenting is fantastic. I mean, my favorite is like, yes, the references to like somebody needs to get him a drag queen to teach him to some tucking skills, for instance, and casually setting my dating profile to how would you fare as a pole vaulter? Which is um genius. But uh, you know, the the news in this entire story that people might not know about is that he has been approached by several companies to to show it, display his vaulting abilities, I suppose. And that um according to TMZ Sports, we&#39;re gonna come back to that, uh, he was offered$250,000 to do an hour-long I you know display of his pole vaulting abilities, which is um not an insignificant which is not an insignificant amount of money, obviously. Now um he&#39;s French and he probably no doubt, you know that this guy is like, you know, where the only place this that this is news is America. Of course. Because the rest of the world is. Because we&#39;re puritanical idiots. Because we&#39;re puritanical, we&#39;re like little giddy little schoolgirls, but come on. You know, some French gay dudes are also like, no, no, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s tw trending there as well. But nevertheless, his only response thus far has been like, well, you know what? I had a bunch of other jumps that were much more successful. It&#39;s too bad you pathetic Puritans are focusing on this. David: 2:42 And honestly, shame me all you want, but I&#39;m into what I&#39;m into. Sorry, dude. Sorry, Anthony. Gavin: 2:47 But we will undoubtedly have another edition of um Olympic Dick News part two, part duh, if we hear some news that Anthony has accepted a$250,000 offer. Would you do um, you know, an hour, an hour, an hour long? That&#39;s a lot of performance. That&#39;s a lot. David: 3:03 Like, what are like what am I supposed to do for the other like 58 and a half minutes? Gavin: 3:09 But I bet you could figure it out for 250k. Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah. And there you go. Um, did you also know? I mean, all of this dick news is frankly focused on two-thirds of it is focused on France. But there&#39;s also a diver. Do you know about Jules Bouillet? No, tell me about Jules Bouillet. Bouillet, I&#39;m pretty sure, is how you would pronounce his name. Well, he definitely went viral as a diver. I mean, those divers, those are talk about bikini cut. David: 3:36 They are leaving nothing to the imagination, and I appreciate it. Gavin: 3:39 They are so low cut that you&#39;re so low-cut. David: 3:42 You were in danger, girl. You are in danger. One one light breeze away from being fully exposed. Gavin: 3:49 And boy, there&#39;s a lot of manscaping that&#39;s got to go on because holy cow. Anyway, Jules Bouillet definitely uh made a splash, as it were, with his, you know, the way he filled out his swimsuit. And so there&#39;s a company called Shinesty that you&#39;re welcome, Shinesty, for all of the price you&#39;re getting out of this, not just Gatriarchs mentioning, is that they&#39;ve offered a lifetime supply of undies to Jules Bouillet. And I think this is one of those companies that specializes in like an extra little layer for the balls and the separation and the lift and cut and whatnot and whatnot. But I I do appreciate that in their advertising, or rather, in their press release to Jules Bouillet, they definitely said, we want to help protect what you have in the south of France. David: 4:33 I mean, it&#39;s amazing. And also that photo, it&#39;s just first of all, it&#39;s from the side, so you&#39;re getting a little bit of help from that, but it does look like he&#39;s smuggling a quarter pound honey-baked ham in there. I mean, it looks like like happy Thanksgiving, grandma. Um, yeah. Um, so much wonderful dick news. Gavin: 4:49 And not to be outdone, um, there is one person who&#39;s actually leaning into his, well, dick news. And that&#39;s uh the New Zealand roarer Robbie Manson, who uh has come forward with saying most of his salary comes from his OnlyFans page. And that he&#39;s basically like, listen, I am an out-gay athlete. I already have a gay following, and I&#39;m kind of leaning into this. You might as well let shine what the good Lord gave you, and he knows what he&#39;s doing, and um, and hey, it&#39;s tough to make a living in this world, and plus he&#39;s got to be out on the water rowing and training all the time to get in the Olympics, right? So I do think that many people, many journalists, were basically asking what is on his OnlyFans page, and he&#39;s like, well, artistic nudes. Artistic nudes. And if you want to see more than that, subscribe, motherfucker. Subscribe. David: 5:41 $7.99 a month, half off today only. So that completes our first special Dick News edition. I want to give special shout out to my very good friend Will, who created our opening and closing music. This is some of my favorite one of my favorite things I&#39;ve ever listened to, ever. Um, we hope to bring you lots of more dick news. Um, we know this is a gay parenting comedy podcast, but listen, we are gay men and sometimes we want to know what is the dick news. So thank you for joining us on our special episode of Dick News. We will see you again on Wednesday for our next episode, our back to school special. Bait giant dogs spewing death from above. This is Dick News.]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[In honor of the Olympic closing ceremonies today, we are breaking with tradition and bringing you a special short episode, all about dicks in the news! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Perilous purple penises spotted off the coast of England. This is Dick News. Okay, welcome to our first edition of a very special episode of Datriarch&#39;s. Uh-huh. A la dick news. We have a lot of dick news to get to, and we were just like, we&#39;re going to create a special quick episode. It&#39;s Sunday. It&#39;s the closing day of the Olympics, and there has been a lot of dicks in the news. Gavin: 0:27 Olympic level, Olympic level dick news. So we figured we got to get this in as America&#39;s finest news source. We&#39;re here for you, listen to it. David: 0:36 Absolutely. It has been a lot of dicks in the Olympics. Summer Olympics are always full of dicks, and we always love it. But this year, very like a lot of literally dick-focused journalism happening. Gavin: 0:46 Getting in the way of uh of the athletes and their goals and their objectives. Yeah. So I now you would literally have to live under a rock to not know about Anthony Amarati, a French pole vaulter. We all know about it. The bulge that went viral, the bulge heard round felt round the world, etc. David: 1:08 Unlike an American pole smoker like you. Gavin: 1:11 What did crack me up about this is that first of all, the internet is amazing for so many reasons sometimes, and people&#39;s creativity in their commenting is fantastic. I mean, my favorite is like, yes, the references to like somebody needs to get him a drag queen to teach him to some tucking skills, for instance, and casually setting my dating profile to how would you fare as a pole vaulter? Which is um genius. But uh, you know, the the news in this entire story that people might not know about is that he has been approached by several companies to to show it, display his vaulting abilities, I suppose. And that um according to TMZ Sports, we&#39;re gonna come back to that, uh, he was offered$250,000 to do an hour-long I you know display of his pole vaulting abilities, which is um not an insignificant which is not an insignificant amount of money, obviously. Now um he&#39;s French and he probably no doubt, you know that this guy is like, you know, where the only place this that this is news is America. Of course. Because the rest of the world is. Because we&#39;re puritanical idiots. Because we&#39;re puritanical, we&#39;re like little giddy little schoolgirls, but come on. You know, some French gay dudes are also like, no, no, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s tw trending there as well. But nevertheless, his only response thus far has been like, well, you know what? I had a bunch of other jumps that were much more successful. It&#39;s too bad you pathetic Puritans are focusing on this. David: 2:42 And honestly, shame me all you want, but I&#39;m into what I&#39;m into. Sorry, dude. Sorry, Anthony. Gavin: 2:47 But we will undoubtedly have another edition of um Olympic Dick News part two, part duh, if we hear some news that Anthony has accepted a$250,000 offer. Would you do um, you know, an hour, an hour, an hour long? That&#39;s a lot of performance. That&#39;s a lot. David: 3:03 Like, what are like what am I supposed to do for the other like 58 and a half minutes? Gavin: 3:09 But I bet you could figure it out for 250k. Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah. And there you go. Um, did you also know? I mean, all of this dick news is frankly focused on two-thirds of it is focused on France. But there&#39;s also a diver. Do you know about Jules Bouillet? No, tell me about Jules Bouillet. Bouillet, I&#39;m pretty sure, is how you would pronounce his name. Well, he definitely went viral as a diver. I mean, those divers, those are talk about bikini cut. David: 3:36 They are leaving nothing to the imagination, and I appreciate it. Ga]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[In honor of the Olympic closing ceremonies today, we are breaking with tradition and bringing you a special short episode, all about dicks in the news! Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:01 Perilous purple penises spotted off the coast of England. This is Dick News. Okay, welcome to our first edition of a very special episode of Datriarch&#39;s. Uh-huh. A la dick news. We have a lot of dick news to get to, and we were just like, we&#39;re going to create a special quick episode. It&#39;s Sunday. It&#39;s the closing day of the Olympics, and there has been a lot of dicks in the news. Gavin: 0:27 Olympic level, Olympic level dick news. So we figured we got to get this in as America&#39;s finest news source. We&#39;re here for you, listen to it. David: 0:36 Absolutely. It has been a lot of dicks in the Olympics. Summer Olympics are always full of dicks, and we always lov]]></googleplay:description>
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</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with mommy blogger Sa&#8217;iyda Shabazz</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-mommy-blogger-saiyda-shabazz/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Aug 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-15540978</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is in charge of the show, so we jump right into political bullshit, a Catholic priest sues Grindr, Tim Walz is awesome, we rank the top 3 things to do by yourself, and this week we are joined by writer, blogger, queer mom, and pop culture junkie Sa&apos;iyda Shabazz, who talks to us about mommy blogs, geeks out about the Olympics, and tells us what it takes to feed a 10 year old boy. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um okay, I should probably so damn it. I was sort of on a roll. David: 0:04 Um, did you lose your vibe or whatever? Gavin: 0:07 Well, I don&#39;t know. Uh like do I need to go back and say the entire thing again? David: 0:10 Oh, please God, no. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 And we saw each other. Wait, wait, should we start off with the top news? Is that we saw each other? We were in real life together. I haven&#39;t touched Gavin since we recorded episode one with Craig Ramsey. I have not seen him in real life since episode one, and we went into New York City like yesterday? The day before yesterday? Uh somewhere around there. Um, and we saw each other and we hung out and we did some things that we&#39;ll talk to you about later. But like it was, it&#39;s not like sexy things. We we recorded something. If only we recorded some sexy things. You don&#39;t need to dumb it down. No, that&#39;s true. But it was so fun to see you. Like I was like, oh yeah, this is what Gavin looks like in real life. Gavin: 1:06 It was a reminder of when you work with somebody over Zoom constantly, as we know for the last couple of years, you forget, frankly, the humanity in the other person. Even though you and I definitely laugh. I mean, I know that you are human, but I think sometimes you think I&#39;m a demon. And so I&#39;m glad to know that you saw that I was not that I&#39;m a demon and a human. David: 1:22 So I was surprised you still used your walker, but it was good to see you regardless. Gavin: 1:26 So speaking of walkers or not, uh, you know that tractor supply has brought on its own little bullshit recently, right? That they I do not know this. You do you really not? I don&#39;t. We&#39;re talking about tractor supply like the store, right? Yes. Yes. No, no idea. We probably read different news sites, frankly. But but so I&#39;m gonna stop you on read news. David: 1:48 I&#39;m just gonna stop you right there. Gavin: 1:49 Okay, so anyway, tractor supply recently got in a little bit of hot water, I suppose, with a certain side of the political sphere, because they have completely abandoned and overtly abandoned all of their DEI initiatives of what any kind. They&#39;re like, we are no longer doing it. And by it, I am I&#39;m I&#39;m waving my arms frantically to say they&#39;re not doing it, any of it. And they very publicly said, we&#39;re not doing it anymore. We&#39;re not doing the pronouns, we&#39;re not doing pride parades, we&#39;re not doing DEI, we are not doing quotas, we&#39;re not doing any of that, right? Which has been like a lot of people feel away about it because they are obviously kowtowing to the political right. I mean, and hey, tractor supply, I suppose, like, listen, rural America and conservative America are, I would say, okay, I&#39;m not gonna get on a political soapbox, but they are voting not in their own best interest. David: 2:40 They never have, and it&#39;s so frustrating. It&#39;s so frustrating. Gavin: 2:43 It&#39;s so frustrating because of misinformation and cultural manipulation. Anyway, Tractor Supply has has dumped all of quote unquote it. Well, Harley Davidson is in the news a little bit now because they are also being targeted by this same campaign. But so far, Harley Davidson is essentially being like, fuck you. We love the dikes on bikes, we love the gay riders, and they&#39;re, I mean, okay, I don&#39;t think they&#39;re taking any huge stands yet, but they&#39;re like, we&#39;re not gonna abandon this because these are our riders as well. David: 3:17 This is well, there&#39;s two sides to this coin, right? There&#39;s the like, what do they actually think about it? And then there&#39;s like the their company public position, which as we know are very much often in opposition. I have many gay friends who work for Target, but we all know that Target is not pro-gay unless it&#39;s June. So it&#39;s like that kind of stuff. But like, but it&#39;s always shocking to me when a company decides they want to take a big swing like this in that direction. Yeah. Right? Like, I can understand if you&#39;re quietly removing DEI stuff, but like, not that I understand it, but I could I could see a uh like a business uh motivation for that. But I&#39;m always shocked, like, yeah, a lot of motorcycle riders are gay or dikes and bikes and stuff like that. But like, why take this position on going backwards? It seems so stupid. Gavin: 3:58 Yep, yep, no, it&#39;s entirely right. And I mean, uh, this is certainly this is certainly like a pendulum swinging, I suppose. Uh, and it&#39;s it&#39;s too bad, but listen, I mean, uh, it it progress is not a straight line. But and it is not a straight line because um the gays are not popular either with John Deere. So unfortunately, there is a pendulum of the John Deere Company is caving, and they are indeed dumping all of their DEI, everything, and they&#39;re not doing it as I wave my arms to get round four. David: 4:28 I feel like of all the companies that are gonna go the other direction, and it&#39;s gonna be Tractor Supply and John Deere, I&#39;m kind of like, okay, like you can have them. Like, it&#39;s like you&#39;re not taking away Taylor Swift from us. Like, so like, do I really need to hold on to tractor supply? Why don&#39;t you guys have tractor supply and we&#39;ll have free health care, you know what I mean? We&#39;ll have all the other things. Gavin: 4:52 If only, if only, if only, and let&#39;s hope. So, uh, so yeah, I thought that was a kind of interesting uh gaze in the news. But then also there&#39;s a little element of gaze in the news that I found utterly hilarious. There is a gay priest. Well, let&#39;s not look at it. David: 5:07 Of course there are. Gavin: 5:08 There is a priest who used to be pretty high up in the archdiocese of wherever. I&#39;m not Catholic, so I will butcher those terms, who is currently suing Grinder because of a data breach. He feels like they invaded his privacy. And the reason this came about is because he got caught by a right-wing uh publication called The Pillar, and they were able to geofence, track, locate, hack his phone, probably, and put two and two together that he was having threesomes on the side, thanks to Grinder. And so rather than suing the pillar for exposing his behavior, he&#39;s suing Grindr because they didn&#39;t protect his uh privacy enough, which I find endlessly hilarious. David: 5:55 It&#39;s just so like you see me like rolling my eyes over here and just like shaking my head. There&#39;s so many parts of the story that I hate, and I&#39;m gonna take all of the ones that you&#39;ve heard a million times away. But it&#39;s just always so funny how, like, the okay, let&#39;s take everything away. But the the data part. Like, we all know this, and I think we have to be constantly reminded. We are just volunteering our information, our location, yeah, our our our eyeballs constantly to these free platforms. Gavin: 6:25 And children also who are online, for instance, my kids who are on TikTok and everything, and I have to keep in mind, and they we need to be able to teach them. You are volunteering an awful lot of information. You just got to keep aware of that. David: 6:36 Do you know the amount of people that have seen me naked in the world? My poor router just sends nonstop dick pics to every stranger within 100 miles. Um, but it&#39;s also, and there&#39;s a whole the like Catholic priest part of this who is again talking about voting against their own beliefs, doing all of that kind of shit. SPEAKER_03: 6:53 Yep. David: 6:54 Oh, it just enrages me. Do we have anything good to say this episode? We have started so terribly. Gavin: 6:59 Thank you for letting me go down this political route that I love so much. It makes us so very, very turned on. It&#39;s my gift to you. Can you see through the zoo? Yes. Anyway, that uh I I heard an interview today with governor of Minnesota, Tim Waltz, who made the statement that his political platform is essentially I want to have a state, uh I want Minnesota to be this best state to raise a kid. And that is what informs his policies on um housing reform and interest rates and health care and all the things, which you could say are a bunch of lefty liberal um policy platforms, but really he&#39;s like, nope, I&#39;m just trying to make it an easier place and an easier time in our very difficult lives to raise a kid. And isn&#39;t that shouldn&#39;t we all just move to Minnesota? Because what an excellent platform that is. It just takes the politicization out of it. David: 7:49 Yeah, I mean, yeah, I would say like I&#39;ve gotten arguments with family members who are super, super right. And I&#39;m like, well, tell me why you&#39;re right, and they&#39;ll list all the things. I&#39;m like, those are liberal ideas. Yeah, they&#39;re like, I don&#39;t want the government to spend a bunch of money on stupid shit. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s a liberal idea, babe. Your Republicans are the ones spending all the bullshit. Anyway, um, well, that&#39;s nice. That&#39;s kind of a nice thing to end your political rant on. Gavin: 8:12 Thank you. Thank you for letting us go down that line. So, speaking of things that are also uplifting, uh, you know what else is? David: 8:18 What else is? Gavin: 8:20 Wait for it. Wait for it. There was so much judgment in your eyes when you said you just didn&#39;t want to take that path. David: 8:29 No, did you? Do it, do it. This is your this is baby, this is your show. This this has been your show. You started it, you have everything on the outline. I have literally written nothing. This is your guest this week. All right, guys. I don&#39;t even know why I&#39;m here. Gavin: 8:41 Okay, let&#39;s hear about your top three list. David: 8:44 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my list, and this week the list is the top three things you like to do by your fucking self. Um, we have kids, um, obviously, and um, we don&#39;t get to do a lot of things by ourselves. So here are my top three favorite things to do by myself. Tell me. Number one, poop. I love pooping alone. I like to take my time, I like to watch TikToks, I like to just be by myself. I often, there&#39;s always a knock at the door. There&#39;s a daddy, can I have a? And man, when they are not home and I just get to poop by myself, chefs kiss. Number two, I like to eat popcorn by myself because the way I eat popcorn is like somebody who hasn&#39;t had a drink of water and has been, you know, traversing through the desert in six weeks and they just see a big lake and they put their face in the water and they just scoop the waters up with their hands. That is how I eat popcorn, and it&#39;s embarrassing and shameful, which is why I do it in the dark. And so, number two, eat popcorn. And number one, my favorite thing to do by myself, deal with a tantrum. Oh, because when you have another adult in the room, either a co-parent or your grandmother or a friend or whatever, there&#39;s just the eyes. It&#39;s not that there&#39;s judgment, but there&#39;s judgment. And I feel like every tantrum I get, and it&#39;s just me in the driver&#39;s seat, oh, I feel like I&#39;m the best parent ever. Gavin: 10:15 I wasn&#39;t expecting that last one, but you&#39;re exactly right. There are just some things that should be done alone. I completely agree with you. Completely agree. Um, so for me, number three, movies. I want to watch and go to a movie alone. I don&#39;t want to take kids with me who are so entitled, they think that they need the$25 popcorn and a drink, and and uh they are double tasking it anyway, and I&#39;m always afraid they&#39;re gonna need to go to the bathroom and they&#39;re not have they&#39;re bored and whatnot. I just want to go to a movie alone. I don&#39;t care if it&#39;s G-rated or R-rated, I want to go alone. Number two, drive to Target and shop and return alone. That includes listening to NPR on the way there. David: 10:59 Oh, you are such a cliche. Gavin: 11:01 That includes getting my Starbucks. Oh my god. Walking the aisles. That includes driving home, listening to NPR on my own. That is uh the best. But it pales in comparison also to my number one thing that I love to be able to fucking do alone is Saturday mornings. I want to wake up when I want to wake up. I want to have my morning time, I want to have my coffee, I want to read. I don&#39;t want to have to manage anybody else. I just want my Saturdays alone. There you go. David: 11:32 Yeah. Well, someday you&#39;ll be all alone when everyone leaves you. So that&#39;s okay. Um, so next week, normally you would be choosing um our top three list. I would next week. Gavin: 11:42 I normally I would be making up our next our next top three list on the top of my head. David: 11:47 And we would probably have a cold open in the bank because you could not remember it. Gavin: 11:51 Since this is since this is your improvisational show, you get to pass the buck. David: 11:56 So next week is our very first special, a very special Gatriarchs episode. We&#39;re gonna do a special back to school episode. One of our wonderful listeners um reached out and said, Hey, are you gonna do a back to school episode? And I was like, I I am, I don&#39;t have school age kids yet. My son is going to kindergarten next year. And so experience, you&#39;re I didn&#39;t even think about back to school. And I went, I messaged the back and I was like, that&#39;s a great idea. So we&#39;re gonna do a special back to school episode, and we&#39;re gonna have former guests come on and give us their top dad hacks or top parenting hacks for back to school. So get ready for that next week. Gavin: 12:32 This was the best idea you&#39;ve never had. Thanks. So our next guest is Above the Fray of the Mommy Blogosphere with a delicious perspective on all things, mommy and blogs and spheres. She is a regular writer at the intersections of parenting and race and gender and sexuality and economic status. Probably most importantly, though, she&#39;s gonna bring an awful lot of pop culture knowledge to us at Gatriarchs, the finest American news source. But she&#39;s an amazing queer mom with a son who recently stated, and she&#39;ll correct me here, women&#39;s basketball is better than men&#39;s basketball. Please welcome the mommy with the most is Saida Shabazz. Tell us how has your kid driven you bonkers today? SPEAKER_01: 13:19 Well, it&#39;s still early. We live on the West Coast, so you know, it&#39;s still morning time here, so there&#39;s still a lot of day left. He actually hasn&#39;t been to him to screw. David: 13:29 I feel like they usually give you half a day of each, right? It can either be the second half or the first half. So he&#39;s given you the first half of like a nice calm before the so far things are good. SPEAKER_01: 13:37 Yeah, so far things are good. Um, so you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m grateful for that, but there&#39;s still a lot of day left. Gavin: 13:44 Yeah. And and how much of summer is left? SPEAKER_01: 13:50 So we have about 10 days left before we go back to school. So we&#39;re coming in on that tail end of summer vacation. And it, you know, I love my son. Uh-huh. David: 14:02 Dot dot dot. SPEAKER_01: 14:03 I do. I do. I love him so much. Gavin: 14:05 And that is a universal ellipse for sure. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 Yes. I&#39;m really grateful for the summer that we get to like hang out because we don&#39;t get to do that during the school year because of his extracurricular activity. Um, but he&#39;s eating me out of house and home, y&#39;all. Gavin: 14:20 That&#39;s a lot. SPEAKER_01: 14:23 So I will be grateful just for that. Gavin: 14:26 Um groceries...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is in charge of the show, so we jump right into political bullshit, a Catholic priest sues Grindr, Tim Walz is awesome, we rank the top 3 things to do by yourself, and this week we are joined by writer, blogger, queer mom, and pop cultur]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is in charge of the show, so we jump right into political bullshit, a Catholic priest sues Grindr, Tim Walz is awesome, we rank the top 3 things to do by yourself, and this week we are joined by writer, blogger, queer mom, and pop culture junkie Sa&apos;iyda Shabazz, who talks to us about mommy blogs, geeks out about the Olympics, and tells us what it takes to feed a 10 year old boy. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um okay, I should probably so damn it. I was sort of on a roll. David: 0:04 Um, did you lose your vibe or whatever? Gavin: 0:07 Well, I don&#39;t know. Uh like do I need to go back and say the entire thing again? David: 0:10 Oh, please God, no. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 And we saw each other. Wait, wait, should we start off with the top news? Is that we saw each other? We were in real life together. I haven&#39;t touched Gavin since we recorded episode one with Craig Ramsey. I have not seen him in real life since episode one, and we went into New York City like yesterday? The day before yesterday? Uh somewhere around there. Um, and we saw each other and we hung out and we did some things that we&#39;ll talk to you about later. But like it was, it&#39;s not like sexy things. We we recorded something. If only we recorded some sexy things. You don&#39;t need to dumb it down. No, that&#39;s true. But it was so fun to see you. Like I was like, oh yeah, this is what Gavin looks like in real life. Gavin: 1:06 It was a reminder of when you work with somebody over Zoom constantly, as we know for the last couple of years, you forget, frankly, the humanity in the other person. Even though you and I definitely laugh. I mean, I know that you are human, but I think sometimes you think I&#39;m a demon. And so I&#39;m glad to know that you saw that I was not that I&#39;m a demon and a human. David: 1:22 So I was surprised you still used your walker, but it was good to see you regardless. Gavin: 1:26 So speaking of walkers or not, uh, you know that tractor supply has brought on its own little bullshit recently, right? That they I do not know this. You do you really not? I don&#39;t. We&#39;re talking about tractor supply like the store, right? Yes. Yes. No, no idea. We probably read different news sites, frankly. But but so I&#39;m gonna stop you on read news. David: 1:48 I&#39;m just gonna stop you right there. Gavin: 1:49 Okay, so anyway, tractor supply recently got in a little bit of hot water, I suppose, with a certain side of the political sphere, because they have completely abandoned and overtly abandoned all of their DEI initiatives of what any kind. They&#39;re like, we are no longer doing it. And by it, I am I&#39;m I&#39;m waving my arms frantically to say they&#39;re not doing it, any of it. And they very publicly said, we&#39;re not doing it anymore. We&#39;re not doing the pronouns, we&#39;re not doing pride parades, we&#39;re not doing DEI, we are not doing quotas, we&#39;re not doing any of that, right? Which has been like a lot of people feel away about it because they are obviously kowtowing to the political right. I mean, and hey, tractor supply, I suppose, like, listen, rural America and conservative America are, I would say, okay, I&#39;m not gonna get on a political soapbox, but they are voting not in their own best interest. David: 2:40 They never have, and it&#39;s so frustrating. It&#39;s so frustrating. Gavin: 2:43 It&#39;s so frustrating because of misinformation and cultural manipulation. Anyway, Tractor Supply has has dumped all of quote unquote it. Well, Harley Davidson is in the news a little bit now because they are also being targeted by this same campaign. But so far, Harley Davidson is essentially being like, fuck you. We love the dikes on bikes, we love the gay riders, and they&#39;re, I mean, okay, I don&#39;t think they&#39;re taking any huge stands yet, but they&#39;re like, we&#39;re not gonna abandon this because these are our riders as well. David: 3:17 This is well, there&#39;s two sides to this coin, right? There&#39;s the like, what do they actually think about it? And then there&#39;s like the their company public position, which as we know are very much often in opposition. I have many gay friends who work for Target, but we all know that Target is not pro-gay unless it&#39;s June. So it&#39;s like that kind of stuff. But like, but it&#39;s always shocking to me when a company decides they want to take a big swing like this in that direction. Yeah. Right? Like, I can understand if you&#39;re quietly removing DEI stuff, but like, not that I understand it, but I could I could see a uh like a business uh motivation for that. But I&#39;m always shocked, like, yeah, a lot of motorcycle riders are gay or dikes and bikes and stuff like that. But like, why take this position on going backwards? It seems so stupid. Gavin: 3:58 Yep, yep, no, it&#39;s entirely right. And I mean, uh, this is certainly this is certainly like a pendulum swinging, I suppose. Uh, and it&#39;s it&#39;s too bad, but listen, I mean, uh, it it progress is not a straight line. But and it is not a straight line because um the gays are not popular either with John Deere. So unfortunately, there is a pendulum of the John Deere Company is caving, and they are indeed dumping all of their DEI, everything, and they&#39;re not doing it as I wave my arms to get round four. David: 4:28 I feel like of all the companies that are gonna go the other direction, and it&#39;s gonna be Tractor Supply and John Deere, I&#39;m kind of like, okay, like you can have them. Like, it&#39;s like you&#39;re not taking away Taylor Swift from us. Like, so like, do I really need to hold on to tractor supply? Why don&#39;t you guys have tractor supply and we&#39;ll have free health care, you know what I mean? We&#39;ll have all the other things. Gavin: 4:52 If only, if only, if only, and let&#39;s hope. So, uh, so yeah, I thought that was a kind of interesting uh gaze in the news. But then also there&#39;s a little element of gaze in the news that I found utterly hilarious. There is a gay priest. Well, let&#39;s not look at it. David: 5:07 Of course there are. Gavin: 5:08 There is a priest who used to be pretty high up in the archdiocese of wherever. I&#39;m not Catholic, so I will butcher those terms, who is currently suing Grinder because of a data breach. He feels like they invaded his privacy. And the reason this came about is because he got caught by a right-wing uh publication called The Pillar, and they were able to geofence, track, locate, hack his phone, probably, and put two and two together that he was having threesomes on the side, thanks to Grinder. And so rather than suing the pillar for exposing his behavior, he&#39;s suing Grindr because they didn&#39;t protect his uh privacy enough, which I find endlessly hilarious. David: 5:55 It&#39;s just so like you see me like rolling my eyes over here and just like shaking my head. There&#39;s so many parts of the story that I hate, and I&#39;m gonna take all of the ones that you&#39;ve heard a million times away. But it&#39;s just always so funny how, like, the okay, let&#39;s take everything away. But the the data part. Like, we all know this, and I think we have to be constantly reminded. We are just volunteering our information, our location, yeah, our our our eyeballs constantly to these free platforms. Gavin: 6:25 And children also who are online, for instance, my kids who are on TikTok and everything, and I have to keep in mind, and they we need to be able to teach them. You are volunteering an awful lot of information. You just got to keep aware of that. David: 6:36 Do you know the amount of people that have seen me naked in the world? My poor router just sends nonstop dick pics to every stranger within 100 miles. Um, but it&#39;s also, and there&#39;s a whole the like Catholic priest part of this who is again talking about voting against their own beliefs, doing all of that kind of shit. SPEAKER_03: 6:53 Yep. David: 6:54 Oh, it just enrages me. Do we have anything good to say this episode? We have started so terribly. Gavin: 6:59 Thank you for letting me go down this political route that I love so much. It makes us so very, very turned on. It&#39;s my gift to you. Can you see through the zoo? Yes. Anyway, that uh I I heard an interview today with governor of Minnesota, Tim Waltz, who made the statement that his political platform is essentially I want to have a state, uh I want Minnesota to be this best state to raise a kid. And that is what informs his policies on um housing reform and interest rates and health care and all the things, which you could say are a bunch of lefty liberal um policy platforms, but really he&#39;s like, nope, I&#39;m just trying to make it an easier place and an easier time in our very difficult lives to raise a kid. And isn&#39;t that shouldn&#39;t we all just move to Minnesota? Because what an excellent platform that is. It just takes the politicization out of it. David: 7:49 Yeah, I mean, yeah, I would say like I&#39;ve gotten arguments with family members who are super, super right. And I&#39;m like, well, tell me why you&#39;re right, and they&#39;ll list all the things. I&#39;m like, those are liberal ideas. Yeah, they&#39;re like, I don&#39;t want the government to spend a bunch of money on stupid shit. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s a liberal idea, babe. Your Republicans are the ones spending all the bullshit. Anyway, um, well, that&#39;s nice. That&#39;s kind of a nice thing to end your political rant on. Gavin: 8:12 Thank you. Thank you for letting us go down that line. So, speaking of things that are also uplifting, uh, you know what else is? David: 8:18 What else is? Gavin: 8:20 Wait for it. Wait for it. There was so much judgment in your eyes when you said you just didn&#39;t want to take that path. David: 8:29 No, did you? Do it, do it. This is your this is baby, this is your show. This this has been your show. You started it, you have everything on the outline. I have literally written nothing. This is your guest this week. All right, guys. I don&#39;t even know why I&#39;m here. Gavin: 8:41 Okay, let&#39;s hear about your top three list. David: 8:44 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my list, and this week the list is the top three things you like to do by your fucking self. Um, we have kids, um, obviously, and um, we don&#39;t get to do a lot of things by ourselves. So here are my top three favorite things to do by myself. Tell me. Number one, poop. I love pooping alone. I like to take my time, I like to watch TikToks, I like to just be by myself. I often, there&#39;s always a knock at the door. There&#39;s a daddy, can I have a? And man, when they are not home and I just get to poop by myself, chefs kiss. Number two, I like to eat popcorn by myself because the way I eat popcorn is like somebody who hasn&#39;t had a drink of water and has been, you know, traversing through the desert in six weeks and they just see a big lake and they put their face in the water and they just scoop the waters up with their hands. That is how I eat popcorn, and it&#39;s embarrassing and shameful, which is why I do it in the dark. And so, number two, eat popcorn. And number one, my favorite thing to do by myself, deal with a tantrum. Oh, because when you have another adult in the room, either a co-parent or your grandmother or a friend or whatever, there&#39;s just the eyes. It&#39;s not that there&#39;s judgment, but there&#39;s judgment. And I feel like every tantrum I get, and it&#39;s just me in the driver&#39;s seat, oh, I feel like I&#39;m the best parent ever. Gavin: 10:15 I wasn&#39;t expecting that last one, but you&#39;re exactly right. There are just some things that should be done alone. I completely agree with you. Completely agree. Um, so for me, number three, movies. I want to watch and go to a movie alone. I don&#39;t want to take kids with me who are so entitled, they think that they need the$25 popcorn and a drink, and and uh they are double tasking it anyway, and I&#39;m always afraid they&#39;re gonna need to go to the bathroom and they&#39;re not have they&#39;re bored and whatnot. I just want to go to a movie alone. I don&#39;t care if it&#39;s G-rated or R-rated, I want to go alone. Number two, drive to Target and shop and return alone. That includes listening to NPR on the way there. David: 10:59 Oh, you are such a cliche. Gavin: 11:01 That includes getting my Starbucks. Oh my god. Walking the aisles. That includes driving home, listening to NPR on my own. That is uh the best. But it pales in comparison also to my number one thing that I love to be able to fucking do alone is Saturday mornings. I want to wake up when I want to wake up. I want to have my morning time, I want to have my coffee, I want to read. I don&#39;t want to have to manage anybody else. I just want my Saturdays alone. There you go. David: 11:32 Yeah. Well, someday you&#39;ll be all alone when everyone leaves you. So that&#39;s okay. Um, so next week, normally you would be choosing um our top three list. I would next week. Gavin: 11:42 I normally I would be making up our next our next top three list on the top of my head. David: 11:47 And we would probably have a cold open in the bank because you could not remember it. Gavin: 11:51 Since this is since this is your improvisational show, you get to pass the buck. David: 11:56 So next week is our very first special, a very special Gatriarchs episode. We&#39;re gonna do a special back to school episode. One of our wonderful listeners um reached out and said, Hey, are you gonna do a back to school episode? And I was like, I I am, I don&#39;t have school age kids yet. My son is going to kindergarten next year. And so experience, you&#39;re I didn&#39;t even think about back to school. And I went, I messaged the back and I was like, that&#39;s a great idea. So we&#39;re gonna do a special back to school episode, and we&#39;re gonna have former guests come on and give us their top dad hacks or top parenting hacks for back to school. So get ready for that next week. Gavin: 12:32 This was the best idea you&#39;ve never had. Thanks. So our next guest is Above the Fray of the Mommy Blogosphere with a delicious perspective on all things, mommy and blogs and spheres. She is a regular writer at the intersections of parenting and race and gender and sexuality and economic status. Probably most importantly, though, she&#39;s gonna bring an awful lot of pop culture knowledge to us at Gatriarchs, the finest American news source. But she&#39;s an amazing queer mom with a son who recently stated, and she&#39;ll correct me here, women&#39;s basketball is better than men&#39;s basketball. Please welcome the mommy with the most is Saida Shabazz. Tell us how has your kid driven you bonkers today? SPEAKER_01: 13:19 Well, it&#39;s still early. We live on the West Coast, so you know, it&#39;s still morning time here, so there&#39;s still a lot of day left. He actually hasn&#39;t been to him to screw. David: 13:29 I feel like they usually give you half a day of each, right? It can either be the second half or the first half. So he&#39;s given you the first half of like a nice calm before the so far things are good. SPEAKER_01: 13:37 Yeah, so far things are good. Um, so you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m grateful for that, but there&#39;s still a lot of day left. Gavin: 13:44 Yeah. And and how much of summer is left? SPEAKER_01: 13:50 So we have about 10 days left before we go back to school. So we&#39;re coming in on that tail end of summer vacation. And it, you know, I love my son. Uh-huh. David: 14:02 Dot dot dot. SPEAKER_01: 14:03 I do. I do. I love him so much. Gavin: 14:05 And that is a universal ellipse for sure. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 Yes. I&#39;m really grateful for the summer that we get to like hang out because we don&#39;t get to do that during the school year because of his extracurricular activity. Um, but he&#39;s eating me out of house and home, y&#39;all. Gavin: 14:20 That&#39;s a lot. SPEAKER_01: 14:23 So I will be grateful just for that. Gavin: 14:26 Um groceries...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is in charge of the show, so we jump right into political bullshit, a Catholic priest sues Grindr, Tim Walz is awesome, we rank the top 3 things to do by yourself, and this week we are joined by writer, blogger, queer mom, and pop culture junkie Sa&apos;iyda Shabazz, who talks to us about mommy blogs, geeks out about the Olympics, and tells us what it takes to feed a 10 year old boy. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um okay, I should probably so damn it. I was sort of on a roll. David: 0:04 Um, did you lose your vibe or whatever? Gavin: 0:07 Well, I don&#39;t know. Uh like do I need to go back and say the entire thing again? David: 0:10 Oh, please God, no. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 And we saw each other. Wait, wait, should we start off with the top news? Is that we saw each other? We were in real life together. I haven&#39;t touched Gavin since we recorded episode one with Craig Ramsey. I have not seen him in real life since episode one, and we went into New York City like yesterday? The day before yesterday? Uh somewhere around there. Um, and we saw each other and we hung out and we did some things that we&#39;ll talk to you about later. But like it was, it&#39;s not like sexy things. We we recorded something. If only we recorded some sexy things. You don&#39;t need to dumb it down. No, that&#39;s true. But it was so fun to see you. Like I was like, oh yeah, this is what Gavin looks like in real life. Gavin: 1:06 It was a reminder of when you work with somebody over Zoom constantly, as we know for the last couple of years, you forget, frankly, the humanity in the other person. Even though you and I definitely laugh. I mean, I know that you are human, but I think sometimes you think I&#39;m a demon. And so I&#39;m glad to know that you saw that I was not that I&#39;m a demon and a human. David: 1:22 So I was surprised you still used your walker, but it was good to see you regardless. Gavin: 1:26 So speaking of walkers or not, uh, you know that tractor supply has brought on its own little bullshit recently, right? That they I do not know this. You do you really not? I don&#39;t. We&#39;re talking about tractor supply like the store, right? Yes. Yes. No, no idea. We probably read different news sites, frankly. But but so I&#39;m gonna stop you on read news. David: 1:48 I&#39;m just gonna stop you right there. Gavin: 1:49 Okay, so anyway, tractor supply recently got in a little bit of hot water, I suppose, with a certain side of the political sphere, because they have completely abandoned and overtly abandoned all of their DEI initiatives of what any kind. They&#39;re like, we are no longer doing it. And by it, I am I&#39;m I&#39;m waving my arms frantically to say they&#39;re not doing it, any of it. And they very publicly said, we&#39;re not doing it anymore. We&#39;re not doing the pronouns, we&#39;re not doing pride parades, we&#39;re not doing DEI, we are not doing quotas, we&#39;re not doing any of that, right? Which has been like a lot of people feel away about it because they are obviously kowtowing to the political right. I mean, and hey, tractor supply, I suppose, like, listen, rural America and conservative America are, I would say, okay, I&#39;m not gonna get on a political soapbox, but they are voting not in their own best interest. David: 2:40 They never have, and it&#39;s so frustrating. It&#39;s so frustrating. Gavin: 2:43 It&#39;s so frustrating because of misinformation and cultural manipulation. Anyway, Tractor Supply has has dumped all of quote unquote it. Well, Harley Davidson is in the news a little bit now because they are also being targeted by this same campaign. But so far, Harley Davidson is essentially being like, fuck you. We love the dikes on bikes, we love the gay riders, and they&#39;re, I mean, okay, I don&#39;t think they&#39;re taking]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin is in charge of the show, so we jump right into political bullshit, a Catholic priest sues Grindr, Tim Walz is awesome, we rank the top 3 things to do by yourself, and this week we are joined by writer, blogger, queer mom, and pop culture junkie Sa&apos;iyda Shabazz, who talks to us about mommy blogs, geeks out about the Olympics, and tells us what it takes to feed a 10 year old boy. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um okay, I should probably so damn it. I was sort of on a roll. David: 0:04 Um, did you lose your vibe or whatever? Gavin: 0:07 Well, I don&#39;t know. Uh like do I need to go back and say the entire thing again? David: 0:10 Oh, please God, no. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:29 And we saw each other. Wait, wait, should we start off with the top news? Is that we saw each other? We were in real life together. I haven&#39;t]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Brian Rosenberg, founder of Gays with Kids</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-brian-rosenberg-founder-of-gays-with-kids/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 31 Jul 2024 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David reads a text message from his babysitter, Cocomelon is putting us through it, a Facebook post goes the way it was supposed to, and this week we are joined by Gays with Kids founder Brian Rosenberg who chats with us about being an HIV+ parent, why he started the Gays with Kids Academy, and how not to change a diaper on an airplane. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, okay. I I I thought you needed a moment to like no, I was looking at you. Oh, okay. I thought you needed a moment to like zen and focus. Okay. And this is Gate Rex. So we have a babysitter that we love, love, love. She&#39;s a friend of mine. She&#39;s amazing. She&#39;s wonderful. She came over to babysit the kids the other day. And we came home and she left. And then we got this text from her. And I&#39;m gonna, I&#39;m just gonna read you the text verbatim. I&#39;m not gonna change anything. I&#39;m gonna love this. Gavin: 0:42 I dramatic reinterpretation of a text from somebody else. David: 0:46 It is just a reading. It&#39;s not an interpretation. She said, things I said to your kids yesterday. And these are all quotes that she&#39;s reading. Okay. No shooting faces or private parts. Please stop saying you saw Amanda with her pants down. Amanda is the babysitter. Gavin: 1:04 Yeah. David: 1:05 Please don&#39;t ask me about my bathroom habits. Stop saying butthole to Alexa. Give your sister a turn on the cooter. Because my son calls the scooter cooter. Um I think you can make something other than a big poop out of the sand. And lastly, did you hurt your penis again? And so I love receiving texts from our babysitter about the fucking chaos that is my children talking to those woman. Gavin: 1:34 Yeah. Now, was she inoculating herself from uh you one of your kids saying, Amanda told me to give a turn on the cooter, and she&#39;s afraid that you&#39;re gonna come to her and say, Wait, did you say that? I mean, is she being funny or is she inoculating herself? David: 1:52 No, no, no. She&#39;s she&#39;s being funny, she she gets it, but it&#39;s also like ever, you know, she was um she&#39;s a Broadway actress, and so she was in a show for a while. So she hadn&#39;t babysit for us for a little over six months. So these are basically new kids at this point. Like for her, six months later for a two-year-old and a four-year-old is a totally different child. So I think she was just like, Oh, I used to babysit these children, and now I have these people saying penis and butthole and um building you know buttholes out of sand and all the things. So I just think it&#39;s really fun to get a uh a text from your babysitter about all the disgusting, foul things that your children said to her. Gavin: 2:28 That&#39;s a keeper of a text message, without a doubt. And I have have you said or heard all of those things more or less as well? David: 2:36 Oh, way, way worse. Yeah, the thing that my daughter, my two and a half year old little princess girl, likes to say more than anything is I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth. She thinks it&#39;s funny because I laugh when she says it, but I&#39;m I I I&#39;m doing the wrong thing where I&#39;m I&#39;m feeding this child. So now it&#39;s I&#39;m going to something gross in your something that it shouldn&#39;t go in. So she&#39;d be like, I&#39;m gonna fart in your eye. I&#39;m like, I I can&#39;t anymore. Gavin: 3:04 But at least she&#39;s being creative and taking, you know, taking some diversions of her nouns and whatnot. I mean, that&#39;s uh I cannot wait to hear when she says, I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth to your mother or your mother-in-law or my son already asked my mom where her penis is. David: 3:22 So it&#39;s we&#39;re we&#39;re doing really great here. Gavin: 3:24 I remember I think I remember that, but what was your mom&#39;s response? Did she have a quippy response? David: 3:29 It&#39;s not like you as a kid, didn&#39;t you ask? Probably. My poor mom is is the is mostly a buttoned up, we don&#39;t talk about things kind of person, but man, these children have pushed her out of that lane because when you&#39;re when you&#39;re asked what your penis is, you gotta respond somehow. Gavin: 3:43 You gotta something, some kind of a response. David: 3:45 She&#39;s like busted in the war. That is fantastic. Gavin: 3:48 I I miss those days of getting texts from babysitters and saying, uh, here a little report, just so you know. I remember actually I got a couple of texts. I the texts that come to mind. I mean, it&#39;s just amazing what your your brain becomes a sieve and you can&#39;t remember anything anymore. Um, sometimes when we ask our guests, hey, tell us something crazy from your kid&#39;s childhood, and they&#39;re like, I can&#39;t remember. And we think, oh, come on. And then I&#39;m like, oh no, actually, I might be there too. But I I love the ones that are like, uh, so just so you know, we had a little fall. David: 4:22 Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Now, your baby definitely had two ears, right? Definitely two ears. Okay. Yeah. Gavin: 4:29 Please don&#39;t be worried about the dog bite mark on your child&#39;s face when you get home. And you, uh, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m not a freaker outer, so I just take them at their word to be like, okay, I&#39;m not gonna freak out. I&#39;m not gonna freak out. But um, yeah, texting brings a whole new level of anxiety slash uh, I don&#39;t know, context to be explored. David: 4:51 You know what makes me more anxious than anything? Oh no. Is the new cocoa melon. Now I know you are so far beyond cocoa melon. You actually probably missed it at this point. What is cocoa melon? Coco Melon is like Is Coco Melon Bratt? Is Coco Melon Bratt like I don&#39;t know what Bratt is. Are we is this like a boomer and a Gen X are like just trying to talk to each other? No, it it is it is the the animated show. You know, Paw Patrol&#39;s really big right now, but like Coco Melon is mostly for the youngest, like two to four, very, very young. It&#39;s like nursery rhymes and it&#39;s all songs and it&#39;s all AI generated and it&#39;s all terrible. But my kids, it&#39;s like crack to them. Anyway, I have said before the dad in Coco Melon is so fucking hot. Like now, wait a minute, is this animated? It&#39;s all animated. These are cartoon people that I&#39;m attracted to. Correct. Sexy cat uh dad on the cartoon. He&#39;s got these huge hands, he&#39;s like ginger hair. There&#39;s a scene at the beach where he&#39;s super hot. Anyway, that&#39;s not the point. The point is Coco Melon has come out with a new show called Coco Melon Lane. And the idea is that these are all the same characters, a little bit older. It&#39;s like it&#39;s meant to like follow these kids who grew up with Coco Melon and try to make them watch it for another couple years. So they have dialogue now, there&#39;s actual scenes, they still do songs and stuff, but all the kids are older, they all talk, where before the main character, JJ, was just this baby who said nothing. So it is it is a new updated version of the show. And I saw it on Netflix, and so I was like, oh, we should watch it. So we started watching it, and then the dad comes on screen, right? My my my bank dad. Yeah, totally. I&#39;m so mad, Gavin. Did he not hot anymore? No, he&#39;s not hot anymore. He&#39;s conceivably the same dad, but the way they&#39;ve animated him is just not as sexy. And and and has he put on weight? Has he lost his hair? Has he weight? He&#39;s all the exact same. He&#39;s just animated in a way that is that is unattractive to me. Now I hear what you&#39;re you&#39;re thinking. David, you&#39;re a 44-year-old man complaining about the hotness of a cartoon character. Gavin: 6:56 I don&#39;t think there&#39;s anything weird about it at all. David: 6:58 Thank you. This is why we run the show. But I I I have issues, Coco Melon Lane. If you&#39;re gonna bring back, and he was shirtless in this episode, he was at the beach again. I was like, and he just wasn&#39;t hot. I was like, if you&#39;re gonna make this show, and I I assume you&#39;re making it for me, a gay dad, make the dad hot. The dads have to be hot always. Gavin: 7:17 Do you think that it&#39;s because Coco Melon had gay animators and Coco Melon Lane have straight animators? And so the straight dudes, the straight animators are it doesn&#39;t register to them. I should make it maybe it&#39;s the straights problem. What about the moms? I mean, I assume that this is the nuclear heteronormative family. It is, it is nuclear family. David: 7:35 There is, but no well, uh yeah, but the the teacher, Mrs. Appleberry, she is like fine. She is like vaguely ethnic, she&#39;s got this gorgeous body, she&#39;s super nice, she&#39;s funny, like she is super hot. But the dad, like the first dad had like these big hands, and he was just like, he just piercing green eyes, and it was just like everything. Um, I&#39;m already embarrassed at the four minutes I&#39;ve taken. Gavin: 8:03 We have definitely taken more time on this than we did on much more important matters. David: 8:07 But hey, this is the show. The show is cotton candy, people. It&#39;s not it&#39;s not spinach or anything healthy for you. It&#39;s supposed to be funny, and then you&#39;re gonna go. Gavin: 8:14 I try to sneak in spinach and or try to sneak in broccoli to the avocados to the guacamole, and you are. David: 8:21 Gavin&#39;s the one who puts the puts the spinach in the smoothie, and you&#39;re like, you know what? What is the green? Was it the green juice you made from the case? Gavin: 8:27 Greenies, greenies, yep, back in the day, which would make them gag now. David: 8:30 But so let me tell you this quick story before we. Gavin: 8:33 Wait, do I get any stories here? Just there&#39;s nothing on the outline. David: 8:36 You keep going, keep going, keep going. There&#39;s nothing on the outline. Um, so the an interesting thing happened in one of the gay groups. I don&#39;t know if you saw this, so one of the gay dad groups, somebody had posted something along the lines of, hey dads, we are currently exploring our international options in case Trump becomes president. SPEAKER_00: 8:53 Oh, yeah. David: 8:54 What are your thoughts on whatever? And so my first thought was, you know, I imagine this comment section is gonna be rife with like all the bullshit you see on all the things, right? Like we&#39;re like, well, Biden&#39;s not better, and you know, all the things that happened. And I know Kamala&#39;s now in the race, and um the you know, the election&#39;s not for a couple months, it&#39;s July 31st today, but I was like, I&#39;m gonna open this because I too have been curious about an international exploration for our family&#39;s safety, right? Yeah, and I was so pleasantly surprised that the entire comment section was answering this man&#39;s question. Well, I know Portugal is this, and well, Spain has this. Well, I think it&#39;s difficult for like it was people answering the question. Where if you&#39;ve ever been on Facebook and somebody says, Hey guys, anybody know the the best taco place in town? The first comment is like, How dare you, bubble? You know, it&#39;s just chaos, but really totally, but but but irrelevant negativity. But this thread was really helpful, constructive and it was really supportive and constructive and all that kind of thing. And this is something that are on is on the minds of a lot of gay dads, which is where where do our family safety come into question if Trump becomes fucking Supreme Glee? Gavin: 10:08 I definitely wonder so often how often am I a frog in the boiling water and don&#39;t realize it. And um, I mean, I&#39;m not a reactionary person. I think good of people almost to a fault. And I I my reflex is to say, no, no, things, bad things wouldn&#39;t happen were he re-elected. And then, I mean, crazy shit is going down in many states, and that could take away rights from my children, from me, from my partner, from my partner, from my family, from yours. I mean, I live in Connecticut and we&#39;re a pretty solidly blue state, but that doesn&#39;t mean it would remain that way. So, what is the advice? I mean, is everybody saying go to Portugal? David: 10:45 Right? Yeah, no, but that&#39;s what I mean. Is like, yeah, the frog in the boiling water is interesting. I remember the reason I am more on the let&#39;s go sooner than later phase is I remember reading a quote somewhere in my experience where somebody was talking about um uh refugees from other countries going to different countries. And they were saying that like you can&#39;t wait for it to get so bad that you have to leave because then it&#39;s too late. You have to leave before it&#39;s that, and that is a tricky timeline. Like, we&#39;ve seen this throughout history about like when the only the only people who escape are the people who left before it got too bad. So that that plays in my head a lot when people are like, You&#39;re being reactionary, it&#39;s not gonna be a big deal for the haters. Gavin: 11:26 But in hindsight, you weren&#39;t being reactionary, yeah. David: 11:28 You&#39;re yeah, you know, and also watching Handmaids Tell does not help because that show is amazing, but also that show was perfectly exemplified like you gotta leave before it becomes the chaos. Anyway, I I don&#39;t want to, I didn&#39;t the the point was not like this is a little bit country. It&#39;s a little bit of spinach. It&#39;s a little bit of spinach. The point was like I was shocked, it should have been my something great that like a Facebook thread was useful and helpful to the original poster. But you know what? I have something useful and helpful. I have some spinach for you. It&#39;s a dad hack of the week. Wow, you are on fire today, July 31st. I went to the beach this past weekend with friends of the show, Rob and Carl, and one of the hacks I remembered from going to the beach with kids, I was like, oh, this should be a dad hack of the week. It&#39;s baby powder. Do you know the baby powder hack for beaches? No. So you know when you take your kids back from the beach and they&#39;re covered in sand in the most disgusting places. Gavin: 12:20 Uh and myself too. It&#39;s not just taking babies. I mean, I am I this is totally relatable for no matter what age or size you are. David: 12:28 Totally. We went to the beach many years ago and we were in the parking lot trying to get sand off our son, and this other family was next to us, and they say, Oh, do you want some baby powder? We were like, Why? And they were like, Oh, to get the sand off. And we were like, What do you mean? And she goes, put some baby powder in your hands and then just rub it on your kid&#39;s skin wherever the sand is. And Gavin, the sand just falls off. I didn&#39;t magical. Now it only works if the sand is dry. You can&#39;t have like wet kids with baby powder, but it just put the baby powder anywhere there is dry sand and it all just falls off magically. It&#39;s hack hack. It is like top-tier hack. Ultimately, that is awesome. Yeah. Wow. And now have you tried it on yourself? I have not tried it on myself, but I have tried it on children and it works. So I imagine it would work on an adult with hair, but I yeah, I yeah. Gavin: 13:21 I bet, yo, yeah, the hair factor definitely gets in there. And then, of course, Johnson and Johnson, don&#39;t they have like titanium or lead or something in their powder? David: 13:28 Oh, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s killing the children in some way, but it&#39;s more convenient to me. Gavin: 13:31 So who cares? That&#39;s what some people, some conspiracy uh theorists were saying a couple of years ago. Well, that is an awesome, awesome hack. You know what else is awesome? What? Our top three list. Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s list is mine, and it is the top three things you would change about your kid. Now, there&#39;s an awful lot of things that I went down a rabbit hole thinking, um, nitpicking this, that, and the other. And then I thought, let&#39;s just keep it light and be like David, frankly. And just like three things...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David reads a text message from his babysitter, Cocomelon is putting us through it, a Facebook post goes the way it was supposed to, and this week we are joined by Gays with Kids founder Brian Rosenberg who chats with us about being an HIV+ pa]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David reads a text message from his babysitter, Cocomelon is putting us through it, a Facebook post goes the way it was supposed to, and this week we are joined by Gays with Kids founder Brian Rosenberg who chats with us about being an HIV+ parent, why he started the Gays with Kids Academy, and how not to change a diaper on an airplane. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, okay. I I I thought you needed a moment to like no, I was looking at you. Oh, okay. I thought you needed a moment to like zen and focus. Okay. And this is Gate Rex. So we have a babysitter that we love, love, love. She&#39;s a friend of mine. She&#39;s amazing. She&#39;s wonderful. She came over to babysit the kids the other day. And we came home and she left. And then we got this text from her. And I&#39;m gonna, I&#39;m just gonna read you the text verbatim. I&#39;m not gonna change anything. I&#39;m gonna love this. Gavin: 0:42 I dramatic reinterpretation of a text from somebody else. David: 0:46 It is just a reading. It&#39;s not an interpretation. She said, things I said to your kids yesterday. And these are all quotes that she&#39;s reading. Okay. No shooting faces or private parts. Please stop saying you saw Amanda with her pants down. Amanda is the babysitter. Gavin: 1:04 Yeah. David: 1:05 Please don&#39;t ask me about my bathroom habits. Stop saying butthole to Alexa. Give your sister a turn on the cooter. Because my son calls the scooter cooter. Um I think you can make something other than a big poop out of the sand. And lastly, did you hurt your penis again? And so I love receiving texts from our babysitter about the fucking chaos that is my children talking to those woman. Gavin: 1:34 Yeah. Now, was she inoculating herself from uh you one of your kids saying, Amanda told me to give a turn on the cooter, and she&#39;s afraid that you&#39;re gonna come to her and say, Wait, did you say that? I mean, is she being funny or is she inoculating herself? David: 1:52 No, no, no. She&#39;s she&#39;s being funny, she she gets it, but it&#39;s also like ever, you know, she was um she&#39;s a Broadway actress, and so she was in a show for a while. So she hadn&#39;t babysit for us for a little over six months. So these are basically new kids at this point. Like for her, six months later for a two-year-old and a four-year-old is a totally different child. So I think she was just like, Oh, I used to babysit these children, and now I have these people saying penis and butthole and um building you know buttholes out of sand and all the things. So I just think it&#39;s really fun to get a uh a text from your babysitter about all the disgusting, foul things that your children said to her. Gavin: 2:28 That&#39;s a keeper of a text message, without a doubt. And I have have you said or heard all of those things more or less as well? David: 2:36 Oh, way, way worse. Yeah, the thing that my daughter, my two and a half year old little princess girl, likes to say more than anything is I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth. She thinks it&#39;s funny because I laugh when she says it, but I&#39;m I I I&#39;m doing the wrong thing where I&#39;m I&#39;m feeding this child. So now it&#39;s I&#39;m going to something gross in your something that it shouldn&#39;t go in. So she&#39;d be like, I&#39;m gonna fart in your eye. I&#39;m like, I I can&#39;t anymore. Gavin: 3:04 But at least she&#39;s being creative and taking, you know, taking some diversions of her nouns and whatnot. I mean, that&#39;s uh I cannot wait to hear when she says, I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth to your mother or your mother-in-law or my son already asked my mom where her penis is. David: 3:22 So it&#39;s we&#39;re we&#39;re doing really great here. Gavin: 3:24 I remember I think I remember that, but what was your mom&#39;s response? Did she have a quippy response? David: 3:29 It&#39;s not like you as a kid, didn&#39;t you ask? Probably. My poor mom is is the is mostly a buttoned up, we don&#39;t talk about things kind of person, but man, these children have pushed her out of that lane because when you&#39;re when you&#39;re asked what your penis is, you gotta respond somehow. Gavin: 3:43 You gotta something, some kind of a response. David: 3:45 She&#39;s like busted in the war. That is fantastic. Gavin: 3:48 I I miss those days of getting texts from babysitters and saying, uh, here a little report, just so you know. I remember actually I got a couple of texts. I the texts that come to mind. I mean, it&#39;s just amazing what your your brain becomes a sieve and you can&#39;t remember anything anymore. Um, sometimes when we ask our guests, hey, tell us something crazy from your kid&#39;s childhood, and they&#39;re like, I can&#39;t remember. And we think, oh, come on. And then I&#39;m like, oh no, actually, I might be there too. But I I love the ones that are like, uh, so just so you know, we had a little fall. David: 4:22 Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Now, your baby definitely had two ears, right? Definitely two ears. Okay. Yeah. Gavin: 4:29 Please don&#39;t be worried about the dog bite mark on your child&#39;s face when you get home. And you, uh, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m not a freaker outer, so I just take them at their word to be like, okay, I&#39;m not gonna freak out. I&#39;m not gonna freak out. But um, yeah, texting brings a whole new level of anxiety slash uh, I don&#39;t know, context to be explored. David: 4:51 You know what makes me more anxious than anything? Oh no. Is the new cocoa melon. Now I know you are so far beyond cocoa melon. You actually probably missed it at this point. What is cocoa melon? Coco Melon is like Is Coco Melon Bratt? Is Coco Melon Bratt like I don&#39;t know what Bratt is. Are we is this like a boomer and a Gen X are like just trying to talk to each other? No, it it is it is the the animated show. You know, Paw Patrol&#39;s really big right now, but like Coco Melon is mostly for the youngest, like two to four, very, very young. It&#39;s like nursery rhymes and it&#39;s all songs and it&#39;s all AI generated and it&#39;s all terrible. But my kids, it&#39;s like crack to them. Anyway, I have said before the dad in Coco Melon is so fucking hot. Like now, wait a minute, is this animated? It&#39;s all animated. These are cartoon people that I&#39;m attracted to. Correct. Sexy cat uh dad on the cartoon. He&#39;s got these huge hands, he&#39;s like ginger hair. There&#39;s a scene at the beach where he&#39;s super hot. Anyway, that&#39;s not the point. The point is Coco Melon has come out with a new show called Coco Melon Lane. And the idea is that these are all the same characters, a little bit older. It&#39;s like it&#39;s meant to like follow these kids who grew up with Coco Melon and try to make them watch it for another couple years. So they have dialogue now, there&#39;s actual scenes, they still do songs and stuff, but all the kids are older, they all talk, where before the main character, JJ, was just this baby who said nothing. So it is it is a new updated version of the show. And I saw it on Netflix, and so I was like, oh, we should watch it. So we started watching it, and then the dad comes on screen, right? My my my bank dad. Yeah, totally. I&#39;m so mad, Gavin. Did he not hot anymore? No, he&#39;s not hot anymore. He&#39;s conceivably the same dad, but the way they&#39;ve animated him is just not as sexy. And and and has he put on weight? Has he lost his hair? Has he weight? He&#39;s all the exact same. He&#39;s just animated in a way that is that is unattractive to me. Now I hear what you&#39;re you&#39;re thinking. David, you&#39;re a 44-year-old man complaining about the hotness of a cartoon character. Gavin: 6:56 I don&#39;t think there&#39;s anything weird about it at all. David: 6:58 Thank you. This is why we run the show. But I I I have issues, Coco Melon Lane. If you&#39;re gonna bring back, and he was shirtless in this episode, he was at the beach again. I was like, and he just wasn&#39;t hot. I was like, if you&#39;re gonna make this show, and I I assume you&#39;re making it for me, a gay dad, make the dad hot. The dads have to be hot always. Gavin: 7:17 Do you think that it&#39;s because Coco Melon had gay animators and Coco Melon Lane have straight animators? And so the straight dudes, the straight animators are it doesn&#39;t register to them. I should make it maybe it&#39;s the straights problem. What about the moms? I mean, I assume that this is the nuclear heteronormative family. It is, it is nuclear family. David: 7:35 There is, but no well, uh yeah, but the the teacher, Mrs. Appleberry, she is like fine. She is like vaguely ethnic, she&#39;s got this gorgeous body, she&#39;s super nice, she&#39;s funny, like she is super hot. But the dad, like the first dad had like these big hands, and he was just like, he just piercing green eyes, and it was just like everything. Um, I&#39;m already embarrassed at the four minutes I&#39;ve taken. Gavin: 8:03 We have definitely taken more time on this than we did on much more important matters. David: 8:07 But hey, this is the show. The show is cotton candy, people. It&#39;s not it&#39;s not spinach or anything healthy for you. It&#39;s supposed to be funny, and then you&#39;re gonna go. Gavin: 8:14 I try to sneak in spinach and or try to sneak in broccoli to the avocados to the guacamole, and you are. David: 8:21 Gavin&#39;s the one who puts the puts the spinach in the smoothie, and you&#39;re like, you know what? What is the green? Was it the green juice you made from the case? Gavin: 8:27 Greenies, greenies, yep, back in the day, which would make them gag now. David: 8:30 But so let me tell you this quick story before we. Gavin: 8:33 Wait, do I get any stories here? Just there&#39;s nothing on the outline. David: 8:36 You keep going, keep going, keep going. There&#39;s nothing on the outline. Um, so the an interesting thing happened in one of the gay groups. I don&#39;t know if you saw this, so one of the gay dad groups, somebody had posted something along the lines of, hey dads, we are currently exploring our international options in case Trump becomes president. SPEAKER_00: 8:53 Oh, yeah. David: 8:54 What are your thoughts on whatever? And so my first thought was, you know, I imagine this comment section is gonna be rife with like all the bullshit you see on all the things, right? Like we&#39;re like, well, Biden&#39;s not better, and you know, all the things that happened. And I know Kamala&#39;s now in the race, and um the you know, the election&#39;s not for a couple months, it&#39;s July 31st today, but I was like, I&#39;m gonna open this because I too have been curious about an international exploration for our family&#39;s safety, right? Yeah, and I was so pleasantly surprised that the entire comment section was answering this man&#39;s question. Well, I know Portugal is this, and well, Spain has this. Well, I think it&#39;s difficult for like it was people answering the question. Where if you&#39;ve ever been on Facebook and somebody says, Hey guys, anybody know the the best taco place in town? The first comment is like, How dare you, bubble? You know, it&#39;s just chaos, but really totally, but but but irrelevant negativity. But this thread was really helpful, constructive and it was really supportive and constructive and all that kind of thing. And this is something that are on is on the minds of a lot of gay dads, which is where where do our family safety come into question if Trump becomes fucking Supreme Glee? Gavin: 10:08 I definitely wonder so often how often am I a frog in the boiling water and don&#39;t realize it. And um, I mean, I&#39;m not a reactionary person. I think good of people almost to a fault. And I I my reflex is to say, no, no, things, bad things wouldn&#39;t happen were he re-elected. And then, I mean, crazy shit is going down in many states, and that could take away rights from my children, from me, from my partner, from my partner, from my family, from yours. I mean, I live in Connecticut and we&#39;re a pretty solidly blue state, but that doesn&#39;t mean it would remain that way. So, what is the advice? I mean, is everybody saying go to Portugal? David: 10:45 Right? Yeah, no, but that&#39;s what I mean. Is like, yeah, the frog in the boiling water is interesting. I remember the reason I am more on the let&#39;s go sooner than later phase is I remember reading a quote somewhere in my experience where somebody was talking about um uh refugees from other countries going to different countries. And they were saying that like you can&#39;t wait for it to get so bad that you have to leave because then it&#39;s too late. You have to leave before it&#39;s that, and that is a tricky timeline. Like, we&#39;ve seen this throughout history about like when the only the only people who escape are the people who left before it got too bad. So that that plays in my head a lot when people are like, You&#39;re being reactionary, it&#39;s not gonna be a big deal for the haters. Gavin: 11:26 But in hindsight, you weren&#39;t being reactionary, yeah. David: 11:28 You&#39;re yeah, you know, and also watching Handmaids Tell does not help because that show is amazing, but also that show was perfectly exemplified like you gotta leave before it becomes the chaos. Anyway, I I don&#39;t want to, I didn&#39;t the the point was not like this is a little bit country. It&#39;s a little bit of spinach. It&#39;s a little bit of spinach. The point was like I was shocked, it should have been my something great that like a Facebook thread was useful and helpful to the original poster. But you know what? I have something useful and helpful. I have some spinach for you. It&#39;s a dad hack of the week. Wow, you are on fire today, July 31st. I went to the beach this past weekend with friends of the show, Rob and Carl, and one of the hacks I remembered from going to the beach with kids, I was like, oh, this should be a dad hack of the week. It&#39;s baby powder. Do you know the baby powder hack for beaches? No. So you know when you take your kids back from the beach and they&#39;re covered in sand in the most disgusting places. Gavin: 12:20 Uh and myself too. It&#39;s not just taking babies. I mean, I am I this is totally relatable for no matter what age or size you are. David: 12:28 Totally. We went to the beach many years ago and we were in the parking lot trying to get sand off our son, and this other family was next to us, and they say, Oh, do you want some baby powder? We were like, Why? And they were like, Oh, to get the sand off. And we were like, What do you mean? And she goes, put some baby powder in your hands and then just rub it on your kid&#39;s skin wherever the sand is. And Gavin, the sand just falls off. I didn&#39;t magical. Now it only works if the sand is dry. You can&#39;t have like wet kids with baby powder, but it just put the baby powder anywhere there is dry sand and it all just falls off magically. It&#39;s hack hack. It is like top-tier hack. Ultimately, that is awesome. Yeah. Wow. And now have you tried it on yourself? I have not tried it on myself, but I have tried it on children and it works. So I imagine it would work on an adult with hair, but I yeah, I yeah. Gavin: 13:21 I bet, yo, yeah, the hair factor definitely gets in there. And then, of course, Johnson and Johnson, don&#39;t they have like titanium or lead or something in their powder? David: 13:28 Oh, I&#39;m sure it&#39;s killing the children in some way, but it&#39;s more convenient to me. Gavin: 13:31 So who cares? That&#39;s what some people, some conspiracy uh theorists were saying a couple of years ago. Well, that is an awesome, awesome hack. You know what else is awesome? What? Our top three list. Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s list is mine, and it is the top three things you would change about your kid. Now, there&#39;s an awful lot of things that I went down a rabbit hole thinking, um, nitpicking this, that, and the other. And then I thought, let&#39;s just keep it light and be like David, frankly. And just like three things...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David reads a text message from his babysitter, Cocomelon is putting us through it, a Facebook post goes the way it was supposed to, and this week we are joined by Gays with Kids founder Brian Rosenberg who chats with us about being an HIV+ parent, why he started the Gays with Kids Academy, and how not to change a diaper on an airplane. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, okay. I I I thought you needed a moment to like no, I was looking at you. Oh, okay. I thought you needed a moment to like zen and focus. Okay. And this is Gate Rex. So we have a babysitter that we love, love, love. She&#39;s a friend of mine. She&#39;s amazing. She&#39;s wonderful. She came over to babysit the kids the other day. And we came home and she left. And then we got this text from her. And I&#39;m gonna, I&#39;m just gonna read you the text verbatim. I&#39;m not gonna change anything. I&#39;m gonna love this. Gavin: 0:42 I dramatic reinterpretation of a text from somebody else. David: 0:46 It is just a reading. It&#39;s not an interpretation. She said, things I said to your kids yesterday. And these are all quotes that she&#39;s reading. Okay. No shooting faces or private parts. Please stop saying you saw Amanda with her pants down. Amanda is the babysitter. Gavin: 1:04 Yeah. David: 1:05 Please don&#39;t ask me about my bathroom habits. Stop saying butthole to Alexa. Give your sister a turn on the cooter. Because my son calls the scooter cooter. Um I think you can make something other than a big poop out of the sand. And lastly, did you hurt your penis again? And so I love receiving texts from our babysitter about the fucking chaos that is my children talking to those woman. Gavin: 1:34 Yeah. Now, was she inoculating herself from uh you one of your kids saying, Amanda told me to give a turn on the cooter, and she&#39;s afraid that you&#39;re gonna come to her and say, Wait, did you say that? I mean, is she being funny or is she inoculating herself? David: 1:52 No, no, no. She&#39;s she&#39;s being funny, she she gets it, but it&#39;s also like ever, you know, she was um she&#39;s a Broadway actress, and so she was in a show for a while. So she hadn&#39;t babysit for us for a little over six months. So these are basically new kids at this point. Like for her, six months later for a two-year-old and a four-year-old is a totally different child. So I think she was just like, Oh, I used to babysit these children, and now I have these people saying penis and butthole and um building you know buttholes out of sand and all the things. So I just think it&#39;s really fun to get a uh a text from your babysitter about all the disgusting, foul things that your children said to her. Gavin: 2:28 That&#39;s a keeper of a text message, without a doubt. And I have have you said or heard all of those things more or less as well? David: 2:36 Oh, way, way worse. Yeah, the thing that my daughter, my two and a half year old little princess girl, likes to say more than anything is I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth. She thinks it&#39;s funny because I laugh when she says it, but I&#39;m I I I&#39;m doing the wrong thing where I&#39;m I&#39;m feeding this child. So now it&#39;s I&#39;m going to something gross in your something that it shouldn&#39;t go in. So she&#39;d be like, I&#39;m gonna fart in your eye. I&#39;m like, I I can&#39;t anymore. Gavin: 3:04 But at least she&#39;s being creative and taking, you know, taking some diversions of her nouns and whatnot. I mean, that&#39;s uh I cannot wait to hear when she says, I&#39;m gonna poop in your mouth to your mother or your mother-in-law or my son already asked my mom where her penis is. David: 3:22 So it&#39;s we&#39;re we&#39;re doing really great here. Gavin: 3:24 I remember I think I remember that, but what was your mom&#39;s response? Did she have a quippy resp]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David reads a text message from his babysitter, Cocomelon is putting us through it, a Facebook post goes the way it was supposed to, and this week we are joined by Gays with Kids founder Brian Rosenberg who chats with us about being an HIV+ parent, why he started the Gays with Kids Academy, and how not to change a diaper on an airplane. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, okay. I I I thought you needed a moment to like no, I was looking at you. Oh, okay. I thought you needed a moment to like zen and focus. Okay. And this is Gate Rex. So we have a babysitter that we love, love, love. She&#39;s a friend of mine. She&#39;s amazing. She&#39;s wonderful. She came over to babysit the kids the other day. And we came home and she left. And then we got this text from her. And I&#39;m gonna, I&#39;m just gonna read you the text verbatim. I&]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Dr. Elliot Justin</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-dr-elliot-justin/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 24 Jul 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-15441376</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, we celebrate a life, David meets our listener, we rank the top 3 things we get irrationally mad about, and we are joined by doctor, husband, father, and possible centaur Dr. Elliot Justin where we discuss his new FirmTech cock ring (we swear it&apos;s medical), growing up in NYC in the 70&apos;s, and why having lots of sex is good for your health at any age. https://myfirmtech.com/gaytriarchspodcast Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks. I knew it. I knew. Don&#39;t you I knew it, me. I knew that as we were recording this, that blank was coming. Nope. And that blank was gonna get you so good. Stop it. SPEAKER_03: 0:21 Thanks. And we&#39;ll it&#39;s just patriarchs. David: 0:38 So I&#39;m not gonna start with what I want to do, which is complain that my daycare closed and my children are in my house, and I&#39;m having to make meetings happen when somebody&#39;s sleeping, and then my son is like, I need pizza to nap with. And I&#39;m like, you don&#39;t need pizza in your hands to take a nap. I&#39;m not gonna start the show by the way. I refuse. SPEAKER_03: 0:59 It&#39;s but it&#39;s but it would make for such an interesting intro and so relatable. I mean, I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve ever heard of pizza being the safety blanket to go to a nap time. It was just an excuse. David: 1:12 It was just an excuse. It&#39;s we are now in the phase of like really being clever and and and and really purposeful about what they say. They&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty. You know, the whole like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty now, oh you&#39;re suddenly thirsty. He is like, I&#39;m starving. And it&#39;s just so we can delay bedtime 30 extra seconds. Uh but I&#39;m not gonna start the show that way. But it&#39;s that&#39;s not how we&#39;re starting. Okay, we&#39;re not starting that way. SPEAKER_03: 1:35 About young children&#39;s mind games and manipulation of the city. David: 1:39 I&#39;m not gonna talk about that. Not gonna talk about anything. Okay, um, here&#39;s what I want to talk about. It sounds like a downer. It was gonna be my something great, but it I think it&#39;s an interesting just thing I&#39;m gonna say about my life. So um, I have an uncle who um was gay um and had a partner, a lifelong partner, who is obviously so um they uh uh my my my my blood uncle died at like 92, about five years ago. Um, and a surviving partner, also in his 90s, just recently passed away. And that is sad, obviously, but they lived a really long life and whatever. Sounds like it, yeah. Yeah, but you know, it was really weird. Like I was reading his obituary and something that like a close friend of he&#39;s from the UK, and uh something his friend had put together for him. And the way that they danced around him being gay, and Bill, my uncle, was his I mean, is not his husband, but I mean, like they were together for like 55 years. Okay. SPEAKER_03: 2:39 Oh no, did they call him a roommate? David: 2:42 So, yeah, so what it brought up for me, I was just thinking about changing culture, and what I&#39;m so happy to be a part of this day and age and not then, is that they grew up in a time when being out and gay was A, not allowed, B, you could get killed for, right? And so they, I think, developed this thing. I see this in other family members and other people in my life, where you have to be in the closet for your own self-protection, and then it becomes a lifestyle. And then when it&#39;s quote unquote okay to be gay, you don&#39;t feel comfortable doing that. And so, my entire life, my uncles were the uncles, they were roommates, it was his friend, they lived together, and we didn&#39;t talk about it. And that makes me crazy now as a person who overshares to thousands of strangers on the internet. And one podcast listener. Oh, sorry, our one listener. SPEAKER_03: 3:33 When did you become aware that your gunkles were a loving partnership? David: 3:40 I so when I was like a teenager, it was like one of those mean things that you would joke about behind their backs. Oh, they&#39;re so gay and blah, blah, blah, blah. And at the time, it was just something mean to say. But they that was when I was like, oh, they really are together. And so, again, they&#39;ve been together twice as long as I&#39;ve been alive. I&#39;m only 25. Um, but it it is so anyway, in his passing, I just as a reminder that like these people had a 50 plus year relationship. They spent their entire lives together, they had a business together, they survived AIDS crisis together, and still they didn&#39;t feel that they could be publicly out. And that just breaks my heart. And I, but it also is exciting that we live in a time now where if you&#39;re not gay, you&#39;re nothing. All the kids now are gay, they&#39;re all bisexual, they&#39;re all pan, they&#39;re all trans. It&#39;s great. So, anyway, it&#39;s a positive thing. I know he passed away, and that&#39;s a weird thing, but um, they lived a really cool life. They were a celebration, for sure. SPEAKER_03: 4:39 It&#39;s a celebration of uh of commitment and of truth and whatnot, even if they were you know semi-closeted, but like, hey, they lived a full life. David: 4:46 That&#39;s and my uncle was a playwright. My the my other uncle, or the one he, his partner who just recently died, wasn&#39;t was an actor. They were, you know, it was the whole thing. So uh here&#39;s to you guys. Uh, go off and do your the the gay shit in the sky, uh, whatever that is. I imagine it was some sort of bathhouse waiting for us all. SPEAKER_03: 5:07 Let&#39;s hope so. Let&#39;s hope so. I mean, this is this topic right here reminds me that for our listener out there, David and I barely know each other. I don&#39;t know what FM stands for. For David Franklin and Marshall fucking close um uh matriarch Vaughn. But I um I had I knew certainly knew nothing about this. And um and you have a pretty gay family. I mean, all there&#39;s the the gay is is strong in your. David: 5:35 I have a gay sister, I have gay nieces and nephews, I have bi people in my family. It&#39;s it&#39;s all over the fucking map. But I like to say that I&#39;m like the trailblazer because I&#39;m the gayest. I&#39;m in musical theater, I&#39;m married to a man, like you know, I have probably a gay child. I I like to keep myself as the king of the gays. SPEAKER_03: 5:57 So well, that&#39;s uh so gay, which reminds me that here I&#39;m gonna make a confession on uh Gatrix that um I I you know we we definitely do tiptoe around a little bit, particularly I do, certain elements of privacy that I want to keep for my kids because they&#39;re not two-year-olds anymore, you know. So I uh you are gonna face a lot of consequences in about 10 years when your kids become our second and third listeners. But um, but I, you know, I try to maintain my kids&#39; privacy a little bit. Well, one little confession I don&#39;t mind making is that I am able to monitor my son&#39;s um text threads with his friends because it&#39;s connected to my computer. So I accidentally see a lot of the threads. And I I I I consider it a privilege. Am I invading their privacy? A little bit. I mean, but you know what, he&#39;s still, you know, young. And so I&#39;m able to kind of monitor and make sure that there isn&#39;t anything too questionable going on. And I and luckily there isn&#39;t too much, until fairly recently, when some of the kids have been using the phrase, that&#39;s so gay. And I&#39;m like, wait a minute, is it 1995? No, no, people are still absolutely using that. I think it means it&#39;s a much less derogatory, you know, inference now than it was back in the day. But I that is happening. And I haven&#39;t felt like I need to um blow my cover yet and say this needs to be stopped right now. I&#39;m, you know, the kids are navigating it, they&#39;re figuring it out, sometimes they call each other out on it. You can&#39;t say that. Thank God somebody does do that. But it&#39;s kind of fascinating to me that people are still saying that&#39;s so gay, not just David F. M. Vaughn is the gayists. That&#39;s so gay. That&#39;s so gay. David: 7:41 That&#39;s so raven. And you know what&#39;s so raven, Gavin? Is that you told this exact story an episode ago. No, no, no, no, no. Jesus. That&#39;s that&#39;s one of my favorite. Now, I&#39;m hoping that it wasn&#39;t something that you told before we recorded and then it&#39;s edited out, and I sound like the asshole, but I&#39;m almost positive that was something that you mentioned the other week. Secondly, that that&#39;s so good. Look at his hands over his face. Uh listen, Gavin, as you can hear, is somewhere else. He&#39;s in Los Angeles right now for work, so maybe let&#39;s blame him on jet lag uh for taking a Spirit Airlines flight in the middle seat of the back row. SPEAKER_03: 8:17 I was in the middle seat. Yes, I was absolutely in the middle of the seat. Damn it. And there you two, you were just looking at me so smugly with that look on your face. But in all honesty, I have no recollection of it whatsoever. So for our listener out there, sorry about that. But you know what? The thing is, what prompted this is that I was monitoring it this morning. That&#39;s that phrase was coming up. So, you know, it is fresh. I&#39;m not just making this shit up. David: 8:41 But speaking of that phrase, it is interesting because I actually disagree. When you said that, like, oh, it doesn&#39;t mean what it like what it used to mean. I feel like when I use, I use the phrase a ton. I&#39;ve said the most horrible shit imaginable in my life. But I remember using that a long for a long time, and it always meant stupid. It never meant gay. It was never a nod towards a uh like a gay man. It was always that&#39;s so stupid. Now I understand that the connection is is prop problematic, but I remember saying it and not meaning that you&#39;re blowing a bunch of dudes. Yeah. SPEAKER_03: 9:13 But just that was not that that&#39;s the gayest, I would say, blowing a bunch of dudes for sure. Um back to your original topic, though, of being manipulated by your children and being outsmarted by them. Well, I don&#39;t know, were you outsmarted? Did your son get a piece of pizza before he took his nap? David: 9:31 It&#39;s not being outsmarted. It&#39;s I&#39;m tired and was just working in Manhattan all day, and now I have these, I have other meetings to do. So yes, he got the pizza, but that&#39;s because I am I am a shell of a human being, and I no longer care about anything other than just getting my kids to bed. SPEAKER_03: 9:46 So speaking of being a shell of a human being and being manipulated by our kids, my daughter um outsmarted my partner and I so big time last week when um we we&#39;ve kind of put a little bit of a kibosh on sleepovers because we&#39;re a very intense sleepover family. Like my kids want to have sleepovers every night of the week. They love it. They want people over, they want to go over. I I&#39;m, you know, I&#39;m like, I get it. It&#39;s fun. And they don&#39;t stay up all night generally, but anyway, we had kind of put the kibosh on it for a little while, mainly because, frankly, attitude, behavior, et cetera, et cetera. And then suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of a three-night epic sleepover where the girls were going um to two different houses, three different houses. And so we went immediately from no, we&#39;re not gonna have any sleepovers for a couple of weeks, to, oh my God, we&#39;re suddenly entertaining three girls, and we hosted them on their third night. So they were bleary-eyed zombies who were tired of each other. They were very clearly annoyed, but they didn&#39;t want to give up on the situation. But like, what at any one point, one of the girls was ostracized. And I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s the other two were ganging up or if the other one was like, oh my god, I need a break from these two other girls that I&#39;ve spent the last what is 24 times three, 72 hours with. And um, but my partner and I look at each other and we&#39;re just like, how did this happen? Suddenly, we went from zero to well, less than zero, in thinking um we were in in control of our parenting skills and communication with our daughter. Nope, she just absolutely drove a bulldozer, threw us over us, dumped on us, and she got everything that she wanted. And um did I tell that story last week, also? David: 11:29 No, no, no, but you&#39;re basically saying you&#39;re also a shell of a human being, and we are shells of human beings. SPEAKER_03: 11:35 Yeah, yeah, I I have no control whatsoever. Jesus take the wheel, somebody else take control. Please chat GPT, tell me what I&#39;m supposed to do. David: 11:44 You know what we do have control over? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So, our top three list this week is the top three things you irrationally hate. Now, as I put my list together, I realized that it&#39;s gonna sound like these are just things that annoy people. Like, oh yeah, that annoys people or whatever. But to me, I want to let you rationalize. This thing boils my blood in a way where I can rip a phone book in half. Like, I for the younger people, a phone book was a paper document that had the numbers of all the people in the town. Okay, so top three things you irrationally hate that make your blood boil. Number three for me is endless AI phone trees. Like, if you&#39;re trying to get in touch with your healthcare company to figure out a problem, and it&#39;s like press three for this, plus two for this, just speak what you need to know. I&#39;m like representative. The the the blood curdling scream of representative, I do every time I&#39;m on the phone with somebody. Yes, makes me crazy. I know that. Uh, number two for me is having to re-log in to apps that they just sign you out for no reason. I don&#39;t have the capacity for any more passwords. I have maybe four or five, and I&#39;ve had to change them so much that when one just decides, like the other day, my car, my car has a remote start, and it it just was like login question mark and it wasn&#39;t saved, and I was like, I&#39;m I&#39;m rolling the car off a cliff. I don&#39;t give a fuck about this car. It made me crazy because I don&#39;t remember the password. Yeah. And the number one thing that I irrationally hate that shouldn&#39;t matter, but makes me mad is when I&#39;m in traffic or some sort of car situation, and somebody does something wrong. They they make an illegal turn, they they jut out in front of somebody, and then they look back at you like you&#39;re the asshole. Oh my god, do I fill with such a fucking rage where I&#39;m ready to just jump out of a car and fucking sock somebody in the face? So so like there&#39;s a I&#39;ve talked about this before, but there&#39;s a terrible intersection by my house where nobody does the right thing. And every time I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know if I can drive this car. I might have to switch seats to get to this intersection because I&#39;m crazy. Anyway, people who think they&#39;re right, but they&#39;re actually wrong in traffic is my number one. What about you, Gabe and Lodge? SPEAKER_03: 14:07 I mean, I think the way you just phrased that, though, people who think they&#39;re right but are actually wrong, that is that is that drives irrational hatred into my blood, blood on the flames on the side of my face. Yes. Uh so all of these three things can make me feel like flames on the side of my face as well. And I I hope that, I mean, they in the moment I can get irrationally angry over them. And so, in one cases, especially in the case of my number one, I go to a happy place in my head and I just become a yet again a shell of a person, so I don&#39;t have to deal with it. But before I tell you what that one is, is number three, fucking up recycling in trash. And it happens in our house all the time that my partner and my...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we celebrate a life, David meets our listener, we rank the top 3 things we get irrationally mad about, and we are joined by doctor, husband, father, and possible centaur Dr. Elliot Justin where we discuss his new FirmTech cock ring (we swear i]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we celebrate a life, David meets our listener, we rank the top 3 things we get irrationally mad about, and we are joined by doctor, husband, father, and possible centaur Dr. Elliot Justin where we discuss his new FirmTech cock ring (we swear it&apos;s medical), growing up in NYC in the 70&apos;s, and why having lots of sex is good for your health at any age. https://myfirmtech.com/gaytriarchspodcast Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks. I knew it. I knew. Don&#39;t you I knew it, me. I knew that as we were recording this, that blank was coming. Nope. And that blank was gonna get you so good. Stop it. SPEAKER_03: 0:21 Thanks. And we&#39;ll it&#39;s just patriarchs. David: 0:38 So I&#39;m not gonna start with what I want to do, which is complain that my daycare closed and my children are in my house, and I&#39;m having to make meetings happen when somebody&#39;s sleeping, and then my son is like, I need pizza to nap with. And I&#39;m like, you don&#39;t need pizza in your hands to take a nap. I&#39;m not gonna start the show by the way. I refuse. SPEAKER_03: 0:59 It&#39;s but it&#39;s but it would make for such an interesting intro and so relatable. I mean, I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve ever heard of pizza being the safety blanket to go to a nap time. It was just an excuse. David: 1:12 It was just an excuse. It&#39;s we are now in the phase of like really being clever and and and and really purposeful about what they say. They&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty. You know, the whole like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty now, oh you&#39;re suddenly thirsty. He is like, I&#39;m starving. And it&#39;s just so we can delay bedtime 30 extra seconds. Uh but I&#39;m not gonna start the show that way. But it&#39;s that&#39;s not how we&#39;re starting. Okay, we&#39;re not starting that way. SPEAKER_03: 1:35 About young children&#39;s mind games and manipulation of the city. David: 1:39 I&#39;m not gonna talk about that. Not gonna talk about anything. Okay, um, here&#39;s what I want to talk about. It sounds like a downer. It was gonna be my something great, but it I think it&#39;s an interesting just thing I&#39;m gonna say about my life. So um, I have an uncle who um was gay um and had a partner, a lifelong partner, who is obviously so um they uh uh my my my my blood uncle died at like 92, about five years ago. Um, and a surviving partner, also in his 90s, just recently passed away. And that is sad, obviously, but they lived a really long life and whatever. Sounds like it, yeah. Yeah, but you know, it was really weird. Like I was reading his obituary and something that like a close friend of he&#39;s from the UK, and uh something his friend had put together for him. And the way that they danced around him being gay, and Bill, my uncle, was his I mean, is not his husband, but I mean, like they were together for like 55 years. Okay. SPEAKER_03: 2:39 Oh no, did they call him a roommate? David: 2:42 So, yeah, so what it brought up for me, I was just thinking about changing culture, and what I&#39;m so happy to be a part of this day and age and not then, is that they grew up in a time when being out and gay was A, not allowed, B, you could get killed for, right? And so they, I think, developed this thing. I see this in other family members and other people in my life, where you have to be in the closet for your own self-protection, and then it becomes a lifestyle. And then when it&#39;s quote unquote okay to be gay, you don&#39;t feel comfortable doing that. And so, my entire life, my uncles were the uncles, they were roommates, it was his friend, they lived together, and we didn&#39;t talk about it. And that makes me crazy now as a person who overshares to thousands of strangers on the internet. And one podcast listener. Oh, sorry, our one listener. SPEAKER_03: 3:33 When did you become aware that your gunkles were a loving partnership? David: 3:40 I so when I was like a teenager, it was like one of those mean things that you would joke about behind their backs. Oh, they&#39;re so gay and blah, blah, blah, blah. And at the time, it was just something mean to say. But they that was when I was like, oh, they really are together. And so, again, they&#39;ve been together twice as long as I&#39;ve been alive. I&#39;m only 25. Um, but it it is so anyway, in his passing, I just as a reminder that like these people had a 50 plus year relationship. They spent their entire lives together, they had a business together, they survived AIDS crisis together, and still they didn&#39;t feel that they could be publicly out. And that just breaks my heart. And I, but it also is exciting that we live in a time now where if you&#39;re not gay, you&#39;re nothing. All the kids now are gay, they&#39;re all bisexual, they&#39;re all pan, they&#39;re all trans. It&#39;s great. So, anyway, it&#39;s a positive thing. I know he passed away, and that&#39;s a weird thing, but um, they lived a really cool life. They were a celebration, for sure. SPEAKER_03: 4:39 It&#39;s a celebration of uh of commitment and of truth and whatnot, even if they were you know semi-closeted, but like, hey, they lived a full life. David: 4:46 That&#39;s and my uncle was a playwright. My the my other uncle, or the one he, his partner who just recently died, wasn&#39;t was an actor. They were, you know, it was the whole thing. So uh here&#39;s to you guys. Uh, go off and do your the the gay shit in the sky, uh, whatever that is. I imagine it was some sort of bathhouse waiting for us all. SPEAKER_03: 5:07 Let&#39;s hope so. Let&#39;s hope so. I mean, this is this topic right here reminds me that for our listener out there, David and I barely know each other. I don&#39;t know what FM stands for. For David Franklin and Marshall fucking close um uh matriarch Vaughn. But I um I had I knew certainly knew nothing about this. And um and you have a pretty gay family. I mean, all there&#39;s the the gay is is strong in your. David: 5:35 I have a gay sister, I have gay nieces and nephews, I have bi people in my family. It&#39;s it&#39;s all over the fucking map. But I like to say that I&#39;m like the trailblazer because I&#39;m the gayest. I&#39;m in musical theater, I&#39;m married to a man, like you know, I have probably a gay child. I I like to keep myself as the king of the gays. SPEAKER_03: 5:57 So well, that&#39;s uh so gay, which reminds me that here I&#39;m gonna make a confession on uh Gatrix that um I I you know we we definitely do tiptoe around a little bit, particularly I do, certain elements of privacy that I want to keep for my kids because they&#39;re not two-year-olds anymore, you know. So I uh you are gonna face a lot of consequences in about 10 years when your kids become our second and third listeners. But um, but I, you know, I try to maintain my kids&#39; privacy a little bit. Well, one little confession I don&#39;t mind making is that I am able to monitor my son&#39;s um text threads with his friends because it&#39;s connected to my computer. So I accidentally see a lot of the threads. And I I I I consider it a privilege. Am I invading their privacy? A little bit. I mean, but you know what, he&#39;s still, you know, young. And so I&#39;m able to kind of monitor and make sure that there isn&#39;t anything too questionable going on. And I and luckily there isn&#39;t too much, until fairly recently, when some of the kids have been using the phrase, that&#39;s so gay. And I&#39;m like, wait a minute, is it 1995? No, no, people are still absolutely using that. I think it means it&#39;s a much less derogatory, you know, inference now than it was back in the day. But I that is happening. And I haven&#39;t felt like I need to um blow my cover yet and say this needs to be stopped right now. I&#39;m, you know, the kids are navigating it, they&#39;re figuring it out, sometimes they call each other out on it. You can&#39;t say that. Thank God somebody does do that. But it&#39;s kind of fascinating to me that people are still saying that&#39;s so gay, not just David F. M. Vaughn is the gayists. That&#39;s so gay. That&#39;s so gay. David: 7:41 That&#39;s so raven. And you know what&#39;s so raven, Gavin? Is that you told this exact story an episode ago. No, no, no, no, no. Jesus. That&#39;s that&#39;s one of my favorite. Now, I&#39;m hoping that it wasn&#39;t something that you told before we recorded and then it&#39;s edited out, and I sound like the asshole, but I&#39;m almost positive that was something that you mentioned the other week. Secondly, that that&#39;s so good. Look at his hands over his face. Uh listen, Gavin, as you can hear, is somewhere else. He&#39;s in Los Angeles right now for work, so maybe let&#39;s blame him on jet lag uh for taking a Spirit Airlines flight in the middle seat of the back row. SPEAKER_03: 8:17 I was in the middle seat. Yes, I was absolutely in the middle of the seat. Damn it. And there you two, you were just looking at me so smugly with that look on your face. But in all honesty, I have no recollection of it whatsoever. So for our listener out there, sorry about that. But you know what? The thing is, what prompted this is that I was monitoring it this morning. That&#39;s that phrase was coming up. So, you know, it is fresh. I&#39;m not just making this shit up. David: 8:41 But speaking of that phrase, it is interesting because I actually disagree. When you said that, like, oh, it doesn&#39;t mean what it like what it used to mean. I feel like when I use, I use the phrase a ton. I&#39;ve said the most horrible shit imaginable in my life. But I remember using that a long for a long time, and it always meant stupid. It never meant gay. It was never a nod towards a uh like a gay man. It was always that&#39;s so stupid. Now I understand that the connection is is prop problematic, but I remember saying it and not meaning that you&#39;re blowing a bunch of dudes. Yeah. SPEAKER_03: 9:13 But just that was not that that&#39;s the gayest, I would say, blowing a bunch of dudes for sure. Um back to your original topic, though, of being manipulated by your children and being outsmarted by them. Well, I don&#39;t know, were you outsmarted? Did your son get a piece of pizza before he took his nap? David: 9:31 It&#39;s not being outsmarted. It&#39;s I&#39;m tired and was just working in Manhattan all day, and now I have these, I have other meetings to do. So yes, he got the pizza, but that&#39;s because I am I am a shell of a human being, and I no longer care about anything other than just getting my kids to bed. SPEAKER_03: 9:46 So speaking of being a shell of a human being and being manipulated by our kids, my daughter um outsmarted my partner and I so big time last week when um we we&#39;ve kind of put a little bit of a kibosh on sleepovers because we&#39;re a very intense sleepover family. Like my kids want to have sleepovers every night of the week. They love it. They want people over, they want to go over. I I&#39;m, you know, I&#39;m like, I get it. It&#39;s fun. And they don&#39;t stay up all night generally, but anyway, we had kind of put the kibosh on it for a little while, mainly because, frankly, attitude, behavior, et cetera, et cetera. And then suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of a three-night epic sleepover where the girls were going um to two different houses, three different houses. And so we went immediately from no, we&#39;re not gonna have any sleepovers for a couple of weeks, to, oh my God, we&#39;re suddenly entertaining three girls, and we hosted them on their third night. So they were bleary-eyed zombies who were tired of each other. They were very clearly annoyed, but they didn&#39;t want to give up on the situation. But like, what at any one point, one of the girls was ostracized. And I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s the other two were ganging up or if the other one was like, oh my god, I need a break from these two other girls that I&#39;ve spent the last what is 24 times three, 72 hours with. And um, but my partner and I look at each other and we&#39;re just like, how did this happen? Suddenly, we went from zero to well, less than zero, in thinking um we were in in control of our parenting skills and communication with our daughter. Nope, she just absolutely drove a bulldozer, threw us over us, dumped on us, and she got everything that she wanted. And um did I tell that story last week, also? David: 11:29 No, no, no, but you&#39;re basically saying you&#39;re also a shell of a human being, and we are shells of human beings. SPEAKER_03: 11:35 Yeah, yeah, I I have no control whatsoever. Jesus take the wheel, somebody else take control. Please chat GPT, tell me what I&#39;m supposed to do. David: 11:44 You know what we do have control over? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So, our top three list this week is the top three things you irrationally hate. Now, as I put my list together, I realized that it&#39;s gonna sound like these are just things that annoy people. Like, oh yeah, that annoys people or whatever. But to me, I want to let you rationalize. This thing boils my blood in a way where I can rip a phone book in half. Like, I for the younger people, a phone book was a paper document that had the numbers of all the people in the town. Okay, so top three things you irrationally hate that make your blood boil. Number three for me is endless AI phone trees. Like, if you&#39;re trying to get in touch with your healthcare company to figure out a problem, and it&#39;s like press three for this, plus two for this, just speak what you need to know. I&#39;m like representative. The the the blood curdling scream of representative, I do every time I&#39;m on the phone with somebody. Yes, makes me crazy. I know that. Uh, number two for me is having to re-log in to apps that they just sign you out for no reason. I don&#39;t have the capacity for any more passwords. I have maybe four or five, and I&#39;ve had to change them so much that when one just decides, like the other day, my car, my car has a remote start, and it it just was like login question mark and it wasn&#39;t saved, and I was like, I&#39;m I&#39;m rolling the car off a cliff. I don&#39;t give a fuck about this car. It made me crazy because I don&#39;t remember the password. Yeah. And the number one thing that I irrationally hate that shouldn&#39;t matter, but makes me mad is when I&#39;m in traffic or some sort of car situation, and somebody does something wrong. They they make an illegal turn, they they jut out in front of somebody, and then they look back at you like you&#39;re the asshole. Oh my god, do I fill with such a fucking rage where I&#39;m ready to just jump out of a car and fucking sock somebody in the face? So so like there&#39;s a I&#39;ve talked about this before, but there&#39;s a terrible intersection by my house where nobody does the right thing. And every time I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know if I can drive this car. I might have to switch seats to get to this intersection because I&#39;m crazy. Anyway, people who think they&#39;re right, but they&#39;re actually wrong in traffic is my number one. What about you, Gabe and Lodge? SPEAKER_03: 14:07 I mean, I think the way you just phrased that, though, people who think they&#39;re right but are actually wrong, that is that is that drives irrational hatred into my blood, blood on the flames on the side of my face. Yes. Uh so all of these three things can make me feel like flames on the side of my face as well. And I I hope that, I mean, they in the moment I can get irrationally angry over them. And so, in one cases, especially in the case of my number one, I go to a happy place in my head and I just become a yet again a shell of a person, so I don&#39;t have to deal with it. But before I tell you what that one is, is number three, fucking up recycling in trash. And it happens in our house all the time that my partner and my...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we celebrate a life, David meets our listener, we rank the top 3 things we get irrationally mad about, and we are joined by doctor, husband, father, and possible centaur Dr. Elliot Justin where we discuss his new FirmTech cock ring (we swear it&apos;s medical), growing up in NYC in the 70&apos;s, and why having lots of sex is good for your health at any age. https://myfirmtech.com/gaytriarchspodcast Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks. I knew it. I knew. Don&#39;t you I knew it, me. I knew that as we were recording this, that blank was coming. Nope. And that blank was gonna get you so good. Stop it. SPEAKER_03: 0:21 Thanks. And we&#39;ll it&#39;s just patriarchs. David: 0:38 So I&#39;m not gonna start with what I want to do, which is complain that my daycare closed and my children are in my house, and I&#39;m having to make meetings happen when somebody&#39;s sleeping, and then my son is like, I need pizza to nap with. And I&#39;m like, you don&#39;t need pizza in your hands to take a nap. I&#39;m not gonna start the show by the way. I refuse. SPEAKER_03: 0:59 It&#39;s but it&#39;s but it would make for such an interesting intro and so relatable. I mean, I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve ever heard of pizza being the safety blanket to go to a nap time. It was just an excuse. David: 1:12 It was just an excuse. It&#39;s we are now in the phase of like really being clever and and and and really purposeful about what they say. They&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty. You know, the whole like, oh, I&#39;m thirsty now, oh you&#39;re suddenly thirsty. He is like, I&#39;m starving. And it&#39;s just so we can delay bedtime 30 extra seconds. Uh but I&#39;m not gonna start the show that way. But it&#39;s that&#39;s not how we&#39;re starting. Okay, we&#39;re not starting that way. SPEAKER_03: 1:35 About young children&#39;s mind games and manipulation of the city. David: 1:39 I&#39;m not gonna talk about that. Not gonna talk about anything. Okay, um, here&#39;s what I want to talk about. It sounds like a downer. It was gonna be my something great, but it I think it&#39;s an interesting just thing I&#39;m gonna say about my life. So um, I have an uncle who um was gay um and had a partner, a lifelong partner, who is obviously so um they uh uh my my my my blood uncle died at like 92, about five years ago. Um, and a surviving partner, also in his 90s, just recently passed away. And that is sad, obviously, but they lived a really long life and whatever. Sounds like it, yeah. Yeah, but you know, it was really weird. Like I was reading his obituary and something that like a close friend of he&#39;s from the UK, and uh something his friend had put together for him. And the way that they danced around him being gay, and Bill, my uncle, was his I mean, is not his husband, but I mean, like they were together for like 55 years. Okay. SPEAKER_03: 2:39 Oh no, did they call him a roommate? David: 2:42 So, yeah, so what it brought up for me, I was just thinking about changing culture, and what I&#39;m so happy to be a part of this day and age and not then, is that they grew up in a time when being out and gay was A, not allowed, B, you could get killed for, right? And so they, I think, developed this thing. I see this in other family members and other people in my life, where you have to be in the closet for your own self-protection, and then it becomes a lifestyle. And then when it&#39;s quote unquote okay to be gay, you don&#39;t feel comfortable doing that. And so, my entire life, my uncles were the uncles, they were roommates, it was his friend, they lived together, and we didn&#39;t talk about it. And that makes me crazy now as a person who overshares to thousands of strangers on the internet. And one podcast listener. Oh, sorry, our one lis]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we celebrate a life, David meets our listener, we rank the top 3 things we get irrationally mad about, and we are joined by doctor, husband, father, and possible centaur Dr. Elliot Justin where we discuss his new FirmTech cock ring (we swear it&apos;s medical), growing up in NYC in the 70&apos;s, and why having lots of sex is good for your health at any age. https://myfirmtech.com/gaytriarchspodcast Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks. I knew it. I knew. Don&#39;t you I knew it, me. I knew that as we were recording this, that blank was coming. Nope. And that blank was gonna get you so good. Stop it. SPEAKER_03: 0:21 Thanks. And we&#39;ll it&#39;s just patriarchs. David: 0:38 So I&#39;m not gonna start with what I want to do, which is complain that my daycare closed and my ch]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Dr. Brandeis</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-dr-brandeis/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 Jul 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets punched in the balls, we talk about being a &#34;no stroller family,&#34; we realize that being the favorite parent sucks, and this week we are joined by Dad and sexual medicine expert Dr. Judson Brandeis, who talks to us about his new technology to make your dick bigger (which David and Gavin DEFINITELY DON&apos;T NEED,) and we also chat about how to talk to your kids about their bodies in a healthy way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of things going right, tell us about our what you know what speaking of things going right, you know what is also going right? David: 0:09 Not this podcast. And this is gates reworks. So my daughter is two, and she is now in this phase of like, I don&#39;t know, she acts like a mommy. She&#39;s playing with babies. She&#39;s like, honey, are you okay? Kissing them goodnight. Very, very uh, she&#39;s taken care of. It&#39;s very nice. So um uh we were playing the other day, and my son decided to punch me in the balls, which was, you know, lovely, so fun. Wow, feels great. Well, then before I even know it, my daughter walks over to me and goes, It&#39;s okay, daddy, and kisses my penis. Gavin: 1:03 And all of us taking a sip of my iced coffee, and I thought, this might turn into a spit take. David: 1:09 Anyway, I I okay I literally all of us froze. My my husband and I are like, What? And I was like, Okay, honey, let&#39;s don&#39;t don&#39;t touch anybody&#39;s private. And I was like, these are the stories, guys. These are the stories nobody talks about, but that happens. And I was like, okay, next time daddy gets hurt in his private area, we just ask if he&#39;s okay. We don&#39;t need to kiss him and kiss his boo-boo away. Gavin: 1:30 Okay, so there are many things to unpack here, but first of which, why why did your son punch you in the balls? David: 1:37 Because we were just dancing and playing, and kids like to punch their dads in the balls. I don&#39;t actually remember why, because that was not the marquee topic of that experience for me. And so, anyway, I just thought, you know, I&#39;d I&#39;d I&#39;d share a little bit about my life. Um, but one other thing I want to share about my life, and we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I want to bring it up again because a big one of these happened to me is we talk about these like very not these tiny little moments that become big changes in your life. You know, the last time you feed your baby a bottle, the last time you pick your kid up, you know, these things we talk about. Gavin: 2:11 The it w one of the things that I remember reading about with a baby, and then thought, oh, I&#39;m sure that I will know when this happened, and then it hadn&#39;t, and it&#39;s long past, is the last time you wash your kids&#39; hair. Yeah. I haven&#39;t washed my kids in years now. Yeah. And I remember reading about that, some woman lamenting, um, she was actually being very thoughtful and said, This what might be one of the last times I do it because my daughter&#39;s starting to grow out of it. And I thought, oh, that&#39;ll never happen. Oh, yeah, it totally happened to me. Done. David: 2:39 Yeah. Done. And you don&#39;t know, and it&#39;s a huge change, right? And it&#39;s a big moment, but it just happened. So ours happened the other week, and I only realized it because basically we go to the mall, as we know, every weekend, and we have a double stroller because we have two kids, and so we have a double stroller. And my son is a little big for it, but it&#39;s fine. And then one day, my husband was just like, Oh, well, do we want to put the kids in the stroller? We&#39;re just gonna run in real quick. And we&#39;re like, no, they can just walk or whatever. And that was it. And I&#39;ve been carrying around this double stroller in my car for a couple of weeks now. And my husband and I were cleaning out the car, and he was like, Do we need this stroller anymore? And we looked at each other and we went, No, we don&#39;t need strollers anymore. And my daughter&#39;s two and a half, so she could conceivably use a stroller, but it just doesn&#39;t feel necessary. So we are now a no stroller family. Gavin: 3:28 I mean, imagine the the illustrated memes of parenthood as you&#39;re looking, the parents are in the foreground, and in the behind the parents, off in the distance, is all of these things that you leave along the way from from bubble baths to strollers to toys to toys to toys to toys, and you&#39;re just like this trail of destruction you leave behind, and or rather, tail just consumption, yeah, just shit that you&#39;ve bought all along the way, and um you leave it behind. David: 3:58 Um, yeah. So, in in in the spirit of bringing up old topics over and over and over again, I want to talk about Are we already? Is this our segue to the top three list? No, I wish. Um, no, we&#39;re gonna I wanted to talk about, you know, many years ago, my son went through a phase where I was not the favorite parent, but I was like, don&#39;t touch me, parent. Like he like he would trip and fall and he would not let me hold him. He was, I couldn&#39;t hold his hand. It was like heartbreaking. And this was my first kid, and he was so young, he was like, I want to say just a little older than one. And I remember just being beside myself. Like I would Google every night, read every article to the point where like I would Google again and all the articles had been read. I just didn&#39;t know what else to do. And everyone was like, it&#39;ll, you know, it&#39;s just a phase, they&#39;ll switch at some point. And I understood it, but like my heart was broken about it. Well, we are now in a phase where I am the favorite parent of both of my kids, and not in the same way, just in like, I want daddy to wake me up, I want daddy to put me in the car. It sucks. I have to do it. Your grass is just always greener. I have to parade all the books. I have to get everyone dressed, I have to take everyone downstairs, I have to hold everyone as we walk. I am exhausted, and I would like to be the not favorite parent to go. Gavin: 5:17 It definitely you definitely go through those phases, and you feel like such a victim, too, when you&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m the one who has to do everything, and it&#39;s such a burden. And then when you don&#39;t have it, you&#39;re like, wait a minute, why have I been left behind? I am currently one of the left behind parents for my sons. One of the, well, the the left behind parent for my sons. And um, and I&#39;m able to see him and my partner just bonding and giggling and like doing stuff that he and I don&#39;t do. I mean, they&#39;re a big tickle relationship, and um, and I my son just like squeals and screams with laughter still. At I mean, it&#39;s not gonna last for long. He&#39;s you know, he&#39;s he&#39;s 11, so it&#39;s gonna change soon. But I don&#39;t have that relationship with him, and um, I don&#39;t know, maybe this is my reminder to ask if I can go wash his hair one more time, pick him up, read a book to him, and play tickle time because he&#39;s gonna be like, Dad, that&#39;s fucking weird. David: 6:11 Stop that shit. True, true, true. Gavin: 6:15 But uh yeah, I know what that&#39;s I I know what it&#39;s like to be the go-to and the rejected one. David: 6:20 And yeah, and it&#39;s never it never feels good. Neither of them feel good. Yeah, neither of them feel good. Gavin: 6:25 One is way too much work and one is way too isolating. So it all just basically sucks. Yep. Um, yeah. Um, hey, in um gay dad news of the week, I uh, you know, I don&#39;t think that people should ever be outed against their will. Um and um I think that everybody&#39;s hopefully on their path to honesty and whatnot. Um, and at the same time, some people need to be called out for their total hypocrisy. And I was just scrolling the intro webs earlier today and saw this story on um Edge Media Network, which is America&#39;s other finest news source besides Gatriarchs. And um, there&#39;s a guy who several years ago, I vaguely remember him. His name is Mark Turnipseed, and he&#39;s a triathlete. And years ago, he uh it made a lot of waves for coming out as um as, you know, being like a world-class athlete. And um he was like, hey, I&#39;m a world-class athlete, I&#39;m a triathlete. Um, look at my amazing abs, and by the way, I&#39;m gay. But just recently, he&#39;s found Jesus, and he&#39;s stuffing himself back into the closet by saying that I am actually not interested in being sexually desired by men. He has very roundabout ways of saying it. And so now he&#39;s um saying all these things about I found Jesus and I&#39;m no longer gay, and I hope you can too. But he always does it shirtless. And let me tell you, those abs are still mighty fine. And you just think this is a bizarre story in um gay news. There&#39;s not a whole lot of people stuffing themselves back into the closet, you know? David: 7:55 Gavin&#39;s always been very attracted to like, you know, hypocrites with abs. That&#39;s just kind of his type. It&#39;s hey, I mean and talk about running away from your fucking problems. My man, this guy, fuck this guy. Fuck the fuck the religion, fuck all of it, but also the the game that he plays with the shirtlessness and everything. You know what? We don&#39;t want to go back to the streets. We don&#39;t want you. You&#39;ve been you&#39;ve been excommunicated from our church, the church of Dick. Yeah. Gavin: 8:25 You are canceled. You know what&#39;s not canceled though? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week, thank you for the dance. Can we get the dance to go along with the song? Yeah, ooh. Let&#39;s make that. We&#39;ll we&#39;ll definitely go viral on TikTok with that. Um, so this week, the list is uh top three tops. And there are nine million ways to interpret this. So I cannot wait for um what you think of your top three tops, okay? My top three tops are number three. I love tops of the top of the pops. I love listening to music um countdowns, basically. You know, top 30, top this, top that. David: 9:10 Okay. Gavin: 9:10 And um, and I mean, top of the pops, that probably makes me sound 75 years old, right? Isn&#39;t that like some show from the I literally have no idea? David: 9:17 You&#39;re talking Lawrence Welk at this moment. Gavin: 9:19 Maybe I&#39;m just reacting to what you&#39;re talking about. Anyway, I think counting down music is awesome, down to the top, whatever. So um, I absolutely love that. Uh, number two, um, pineapple tops. I think that pineapples are um the m most violent of all the things that we can eat, but I&#39;m always fascinated by the tops, and I enjoy chopping off the top of a pineapple and just like letting it sit there for a little while and hang it upside down on the front of your cruise cabin door to make sure everyone knows. David: 9:48 Yeah. Gavin: 9:49 Thank you for that reminder. And number one, Brad Pitt. David: 9:53 God, I hope he&#39;s a top. Oh, come on. Do we know if he&#39;s a top, though? He was a now, he was a now, Tyler Durden was a top in that movie, right? He was like an aggressive top. So I&#39;ll give you Brad Pitt&#39;s movie. Okay, there&#39;s that. Yeah, I don&#39;t know if he&#39;s a top in real life, but I imagine probably. Uh it&#39;s just like yeah, there&#39;s the one. What about you? What are your top three tops? All right, and mine are all different, none of them follow any sort of uh uh category whatsoever. All right, and number three, Top Gun. That&#39;s a great fucking movie. And also franchise and also to bring it back and have it be a solid remake. Yeah. Love it. Solid. 28 years later, mind you. Um, number two for me, very personal, t-shirts. I love a t-shirt. I I I&#39;m not wearing one now, but I almost exclusively wear t-shirts. And so I love a t-shirt top. Um, and number one, this person has my utmost respect, is the Senate top. That boy who fucked the Senate bottom in that video, the Senate top. Gavin: 10:54 Yes, I tell you what, yes, yes. David: 10:57 That is making America great again. That is making America great again. Gavin: 11:02 Oh, wow, I hadn&#39;t thought about that in a long time. David: 11:05 Yeah, he wins too. He wins. Absolutely. Gavin: 11:07 I agree with you. That&#39;s amazing. David: 11:09 So, next week, our top three list is not gonna be top three bottoms, although that would have been probably smart. Um, a little predictable. That&#39;s true. Um, it&#39;ll be the top three things that you hate irrationally. Okay, it can&#39;t be something like, oh, I hate, you know, fascism. Like we all hate fascism. Yeah. Right, right, I get it. I and let&#39;s do it. I fucking get it. Gavin: 11:33 So, our guest today is Dr. Judson Brandeis. He is an award-winning urologist and sexual medicine expert, clinical research physician educator, and a caring clinician and surgeon, according to his own bio. But we will be the judges of that on a podcast. Dr. Brandeis is dedicated to helping his patients and men everywhere feel great, look good, and have better physical intimacy. In short, he is much too accomplished to be on Gatriarchs. And yet, his specialty is something we definitely pay attention to. So he&#39;s also straight, but given his extensive knowledge of the male anatomy and mass repository of dick jokes, plus the fact that he has two kids and loves them more than anything, he&#39;s definitely an honorary. Four kids. Oh my god. unknown: 12:19 Fuck. David: 12:20 God, you&#39;ve already fucked it up, Gavin. You&#39;re in the intro to the guest, and you have fucked it up. Gavin: 12:25 And I know both of you are like, God, could this be a longer intro, even though I&#39;m took it anyway. He has four kids, so he&#39;s even more manly than we could possibly hope to be. He loves them more than anything. He&#39;s definitely an honorary Gatriarch. Dr. Vrandeis, welcome to Gatriarchs. And how have your kids driven you bananas already today? All four of them. SPEAKER_00: 12:49 Oh, well, I have uh 18-year-old twins that are home. Oh man. David: 12:54 So you can&#39;t you&#39;re basically saying you can&#39;t talk about it, but your eyes are saying I&#39;m ready to spill the tea. SPEAKER_00: 12:58 Yeah. They&#39;re, you know, they&#39;re they&#39;re individuating and separating and sort of defining who they are and who they&#39;re not. Like my daughter yesterday, she said, you know, dad, why can&#39;t you just be normal? David: 13:10 Oh, okay. Well. And what were you doing that was not normal? SPEAKER_00: 13:14 Just absolutely. Uh yeah, I was just um sitting in the car with her driving, and uh we were going to the grocery store. Gavin: 13:22 And that was abnormal for her. unknown: 13:25 Yeah. David: 13:25 That&#39;s pretty fucked up of you to take your daughter to the grocery store. I&#39;m on her side, honestly. Um but it&#39;s funny how like I imagine as twins, you&#39;re desperate for that unique recognition, but also you kind of have to fake it if you don&#39;t ignore are they like does it feel like they&#39;re kind of just making shit up to be different about just to Well, they&#39;re boy girl twins, so they&#39;ve kind of found their own little niches. SPEAKER_00: 13:46 Yeah. Gavin: 13:46 And how old are the others? SPEAKER_00: 13:48 I have a 22-year-old and a 20-year-old. Gavin: 13:51 Oh, right. So you are you&#39;ve got like adults. You are hardcore adulting. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, okay, so we&#39;re gonna come back to the kids, but first let&#39;s talk about penis, shall we? Um David&#39;s favorite topic. SPEAKER_00: 14:05 That&#39;s where it all starts. Gavin: 14:06 Yeah, it sure does. Well, I am curious. You are a uh you are definitely a leader in the industry. You are paving your own way with your own practice. And what is different about what you have developed at your um in in your office? SPEAKER_00: 14:24 Yeah, so many men want a larger penis. Um, but up until now, there really wasn&#39;t a safe and reliable way to increase the length, girth, and function of a healthy man&#39;s penis, right? I&#39;m talking about men, say, between 20...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets punched in the balls, we talk about being a &#34;no stroller family,&#34; we realize that being the favorite parent sucks, and this week we are joined by Dad and sexual medicine expert Dr. Judson Brandeis, who talks to us about his ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets punched in the balls, we talk about being a &#34;no stroller family,&#34; we realize that being the favorite parent sucks, and this week we are joined by Dad and sexual medicine expert Dr. Judson Brandeis, who talks to us about his new technology to make your dick bigger (which David and Gavin DEFINITELY DON&apos;T NEED,) and we also chat about how to talk to your kids about their bodies in a healthy way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of things going right, tell us about our what you know what speaking of things going right, you know what is also going right? David: 0:09 Not this podcast. And this is gates reworks. So my daughter is two, and she is now in this phase of like, I don&#39;t know, she acts like a mommy. She&#39;s playing with babies. She&#39;s like, honey, are you okay? Kissing them goodnight. Very, very uh, she&#39;s taken care of. It&#39;s very nice. So um uh we were playing the other day, and my son decided to punch me in the balls, which was, you know, lovely, so fun. Wow, feels great. Well, then before I even know it, my daughter walks over to me and goes, It&#39;s okay, daddy, and kisses my penis. Gavin: 1:03 And all of us taking a sip of my iced coffee, and I thought, this might turn into a spit take. David: 1:09 Anyway, I I okay I literally all of us froze. My my husband and I are like, What? And I was like, Okay, honey, let&#39;s don&#39;t don&#39;t touch anybody&#39;s private. And I was like, these are the stories, guys. These are the stories nobody talks about, but that happens. And I was like, okay, next time daddy gets hurt in his private area, we just ask if he&#39;s okay. We don&#39;t need to kiss him and kiss his boo-boo away. Gavin: 1:30 Okay, so there are many things to unpack here, but first of which, why why did your son punch you in the balls? David: 1:37 Because we were just dancing and playing, and kids like to punch their dads in the balls. I don&#39;t actually remember why, because that was not the marquee topic of that experience for me. And so, anyway, I just thought, you know, I&#39;d I&#39;d I&#39;d share a little bit about my life. Um, but one other thing I want to share about my life, and we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I want to bring it up again because a big one of these happened to me is we talk about these like very not these tiny little moments that become big changes in your life. You know, the last time you feed your baby a bottle, the last time you pick your kid up, you know, these things we talk about. Gavin: 2:11 The it w one of the things that I remember reading about with a baby, and then thought, oh, I&#39;m sure that I will know when this happened, and then it hadn&#39;t, and it&#39;s long past, is the last time you wash your kids&#39; hair. Yeah. I haven&#39;t washed my kids in years now. Yeah. And I remember reading about that, some woman lamenting, um, she was actually being very thoughtful and said, This what might be one of the last times I do it because my daughter&#39;s starting to grow out of it. And I thought, oh, that&#39;ll never happen. Oh, yeah, it totally happened to me. Done. David: 2:39 Yeah. Done. And you don&#39;t know, and it&#39;s a huge change, right? And it&#39;s a big moment, but it just happened. So ours happened the other week, and I only realized it because basically we go to the mall, as we know, every weekend, and we have a double stroller because we have two kids, and so we have a double stroller. And my son is a little big for it, but it&#39;s fine. And then one day, my husband was just like, Oh, well, do we want to put the kids in the stroller? We&#39;re just gonna run in real quick. And we&#39;re like, no, they can just walk or whatever. And that was it. And I&#39;ve been carrying around this double stroller in my car for a couple of weeks now. And my husband and I were cleaning out the car, and he was like, Do we need this stroller anymore? And we looked at each other and we went, No, we don&#39;t need strollers anymore. And my daughter&#39;s two and a half, so she could conceivably use a stroller, but it just doesn&#39;t feel necessary. So we are now a no stroller family. Gavin: 3:28 I mean, imagine the the illustrated memes of parenthood as you&#39;re looking, the parents are in the foreground, and in the behind the parents, off in the distance, is all of these things that you leave along the way from from bubble baths to strollers to toys to toys to toys to toys, and you&#39;re just like this trail of destruction you leave behind, and or rather, tail just consumption, yeah, just shit that you&#39;ve bought all along the way, and um you leave it behind. David: 3:58 Um, yeah. So, in in in the spirit of bringing up old topics over and over and over again, I want to talk about Are we already? Is this our segue to the top three list? No, I wish. Um, no, we&#39;re gonna I wanted to talk about, you know, many years ago, my son went through a phase where I was not the favorite parent, but I was like, don&#39;t touch me, parent. Like he like he would trip and fall and he would not let me hold him. He was, I couldn&#39;t hold his hand. It was like heartbreaking. And this was my first kid, and he was so young, he was like, I want to say just a little older than one. And I remember just being beside myself. Like I would Google every night, read every article to the point where like I would Google again and all the articles had been read. I just didn&#39;t know what else to do. And everyone was like, it&#39;ll, you know, it&#39;s just a phase, they&#39;ll switch at some point. And I understood it, but like my heart was broken about it. Well, we are now in a phase where I am the favorite parent of both of my kids, and not in the same way, just in like, I want daddy to wake me up, I want daddy to put me in the car. It sucks. I have to do it. Your grass is just always greener. I have to parade all the books. I have to get everyone dressed, I have to take everyone downstairs, I have to hold everyone as we walk. I am exhausted, and I would like to be the not favorite parent to go. Gavin: 5:17 It definitely you definitely go through those phases, and you feel like such a victim, too, when you&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m the one who has to do everything, and it&#39;s such a burden. And then when you don&#39;t have it, you&#39;re like, wait a minute, why have I been left behind? I am currently one of the left behind parents for my sons. One of the, well, the the left behind parent for my sons. And um, and I&#39;m able to see him and my partner just bonding and giggling and like doing stuff that he and I don&#39;t do. I mean, they&#39;re a big tickle relationship, and um, and I my son just like squeals and screams with laughter still. At I mean, it&#39;s not gonna last for long. He&#39;s you know, he&#39;s he&#39;s 11, so it&#39;s gonna change soon. But I don&#39;t have that relationship with him, and um, I don&#39;t know, maybe this is my reminder to ask if I can go wash his hair one more time, pick him up, read a book to him, and play tickle time because he&#39;s gonna be like, Dad, that&#39;s fucking weird. David: 6:11 Stop that shit. True, true, true. Gavin: 6:15 But uh yeah, I know what that&#39;s I I know what it&#39;s like to be the go-to and the rejected one. David: 6:20 And yeah, and it&#39;s never it never feels good. Neither of them feel good. Yeah, neither of them feel good. Gavin: 6:25 One is way too much work and one is way too isolating. So it all just basically sucks. Yep. Um, yeah. Um, hey, in um gay dad news of the week, I uh, you know, I don&#39;t think that people should ever be outed against their will. Um and um I think that everybody&#39;s hopefully on their path to honesty and whatnot. Um, and at the same time, some people need to be called out for their total hypocrisy. And I was just scrolling the intro webs earlier today and saw this story on um Edge Media Network, which is America&#39;s other finest news source besides Gatriarchs. And um, there&#39;s a guy who several years ago, I vaguely remember him. His name is Mark Turnipseed, and he&#39;s a triathlete. And years ago, he uh it made a lot of waves for coming out as um as, you know, being like a world-class athlete. And um he was like, hey, I&#39;m a world-class athlete, I&#39;m a triathlete. Um, look at my amazing abs, and by the way, I&#39;m gay. But just recently, he&#39;s found Jesus, and he&#39;s stuffing himself back into the closet by saying that I am actually not interested in being sexually desired by men. He has very roundabout ways of saying it. And so now he&#39;s um saying all these things about I found Jesus and I&#39;m no longer gay, and I hope you can too. But he always does it shirtless. And let me tell you, those abs are still mighty fine. And you just think this is a bizarre story in um gay news. There&#39;s not a whole lot of people stuffing themselves back into the closet, you know? David: 7:55 Gavin&#39;s always been very attracted to like, you know, hypocrites with abs. That&#39;s just kind of his type. It&#39;s hey, I mean and talk about running away from your fucking problems. My man, this guy, fuck this guy. Fuck the fuck the religion, fuck all of it, but also the the game that he plays with the shirtlessness and everything. You know what? We don&#39;t want to go back to the streets. We don&#39;t want you. You&#39;ve been you&#39;ve been excommunicated from our church, the church of Dick. Yeah. Gavin: 8:25 You are canceled. You know what&#39;s not canceled though? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week, thank you for the dance. Can we get the dance to go along with the song? Yeah, ooh. Let&#39;s make that. We&#39;ll we&#39;ll definitely go viral on TikTok with that. Um, so this week, the list is uh top three tops. And there are nine million ways to interpret this. So I cannot wait for um what you think of your top three tops, okay? My top three tops are number three. I love tops of the top of the pops. I love listening to music um countdowns, basically. You know, top 30, top this, top that. David: 9:10 Okay. Gavin: 9:10 And um, and I mean, top of the pops, that probably makes me sound 75 years old, right? Isn&#39;t that like some show from the I literally have no idea? David: 9:17 You&#39;re talking Lawrence Welk at this moment. Gavin: 9:19 Maybe I&#39;m just reacting to what you&#39;re talking about. Anyway, I think counting down music is awesome, down to the top, whatever. So um, I absolutely love that. Uh, number two, um, pineapple tops. I think that pineapples are um the m most violent of all the things that we can eat, but I&#39;m always fascinated by the tops, and I enjoy chopping off the top of a pineapple and just like letting it sit there for a little while and hang it upside down on the front of your cruise cabin door to make sure everyone knows. David: 9:48 Yeah. Gavin: 9:49 Thank you for that reminder. And number one, Brad Pitt. David: 9:53 God, I hope he&#39;s a top. Oh, come on. Do we know if he&#39;s a top, though? He was a now, he was a now, Tyler Durden was a top in that movie, right? He was like an aggressive top. So I&#39;ll give you Brad Pitt&#39;s movie. Okay, there&#39;s that. Yeah, I don&#39;t know if he&#39;s a top in real life, but I imagine probably. Uh it&#39;s just like yeah, there&#39;s the one. What about you? What are your top three tops? All right, and mine are all different, none of them follow any sort of uh uh category whatsoever. All right, and number three, Top Gun. That&#39;s a great fucking movie. And also franchise and also to bring it back and have it be a solid remake. Yeah. Love it. Solid. 28 years later, mind you. Um, number two for me, very personal, t-shirts. I love a t-shirt. I I I&#39;m not wearing one now, but I almost exclusively wear t-shirts. And so I love a t-shirt top. Um, and number one, this person has my utmost respect, is the Senate top. That boy who fucked the Senate bottom in that video, the Senate top. Gavin: 10:54 Yes, I tell you what, yes, yes. David: 10:57 That is making America great again. That is making America great again. Gavin: 11:02 Oh, wow, I hadn&#39;t thought about that in a long time. David: 11:05 Yeah, he wins too. He wins. Absolutely. Gavin: 11:07 I agree with you. That&#39;s amazing. David: 11:09 So, next week, our top three list is not gonna be top three bottoms, although that would have been probably smart. Um, a little predictable. That&#39;s true. Um, it&#39;ll be the top three things that you hate irrationally. Okay, it can&#39;t be something like, oh, I hate, you know, fascism. Like we all hate fascism. Yeah. Right, right, I get it. I and let&#39;s do it. I fucking get it. Gavin: 11:33 So, our guest today is Dr. Judson Brandeis. He is an award-winning urologist and sexual medicine expert, clinical research physician educator, and a caring clinician and surgeon, according to his own bio. But we will be the judges of that on a podcast. Dr. Brandeis is dedicated to helping his patients and men everywhere feel great, look good, and have better physical intimacy. In short, he is much too accomplished to be on Gatriarchs. And yet, his specialty is something we definitely pay attention to. So he&#39;s also straight, but given his extensive knowledge of the male anatomy and mass repository of dick jokes, plus the fact that he has two kids and loves them more than anything, he&#39;s definitely an honorary. Four kids. Oh my god. unknown: 12:19 Fuck. David: 12:20 God, you&#39;ve already fucked it up, Gavin. You&#39;re in the intro to the guest, and you have fucked it up. Gavin: 12:25 And I know both of you are like, God, could this be a longer intro, even though I&#39;m took it anyway. He has four kids, so he&#39;s even more manly than we could possibly hope to be. He loves them more than anything. He&#39;s definitely an honorary Gatriarch. Dr. Vrandeis, welcome to Gatriarchs. And how have your kids driven you bananas already today? All four of them. SPEAKER_00: 12:49 Oh, well, I have uh 18-year-old twins that are home. Oh man. David: 12:54 So you can&#39;t you&#39;re basically saying you can&#39;t talk about it, but your eyes are saying I&#39;m ready to spill the tea. SPEAKER_00: 12:58 Yeah. They&#39;re, you know, they&#39;re they&#39;re individuating and separating and sort of defining who they are and who they&#39;re not. Like my daughter yesterday, she said, you know, dad, why can&#39;t you just be normal? David: 13:10 Oh, okay. Well. And what were you doing that was not normal? SPEAKER_00: 13:14 Just absolutely. Uh yeah, I was just um sitting in the car with her driving, and uh we were going to the grocery store. Gavin: 13:22 And that was abnormal for her. unknown: 13:25 Yeah. David: 13:25 That&#39;s pretty fucked up of you to take your daughter to the grocery store. I&#39;m on her side, honestly. Um but it&#39;s funny how like I imagine as twins, you&#39;re desperate for that unique recognition, but also you kind of have to fake it if you don&#39;t ignore are they like does it feel like they&#39;re kind of just making shit up to be different about just to Well, they&#39;re boy girl twins, so they&#39;ve kind of found their own little niches. SPEAKER_00: 13:46 Yeah. Gavin: 13:46 And how old are the others? SPEAKER_00: 13:48 I have a 22-year-old and a 20-year-old. Gavin: 13:51 Oh, right. So you are you&#39;ve got like adults. You are hardcore adulting. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, okay, so we&#39;re gonna come back to the kids, but first let&#39;s talk about penis, shall we? Um David&#39;s favorite topic. SPEAKER_00: 14:05 That&#39;s where it all starts. Gavin: 14:06 Yeah, it sure does. Well, I am curious. You are a uh you are definitely a leader in the industry. You are paving your own way with your own practice. And what is different about what you have developed at your um in in your office? SPEAKER_00: 14:24 Yeah, so many men want a larger penis. Um, but up until now, there really wasn&#39;t a safe and reliable way to increase the length, girth, and function of a healthy man&#39;s penis, right? I&#39;m talking about men, say, between 20...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets punched in the balls, we talk about being a &#34;no stroller family,&#34; we realize that being the favorite parent sucks, and this week we are joined by Dad and sexual medicine expert Dr. Judson Brandeis, who talks to us about his new technology to make your dick bigger (which David and Gavin DEFINITELY DON&apos;T NEED,) and we also chat about how to talk to your kids about their bodies in a healthy way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of things going right, tell us about our what you know what speaking of things going right, you know what is also going right? David: 0:09 Not this podcast. And this is gates reworks. So my daughter is two, and she is now in this phase of like, I don&#39;t know, she acts like a mommy. She&#39;s playing with babies. She&#39;s like, honey, are you okay? Kissing them goodnight. Very, very uh, she&#39;s taken care of. It&#39;s very nice. So um uh we were playing the other day, and my son decided to punch me in the balls, which was, you know, lovely, so fun. Wow, feels great. Well, then before I even know it, my daughter walks over to me and goes, It&#39;s okay, daddy, and kisses my penis. Gavin: 1:03 And all of us taking a sip of my iced coffee, and I thought, this might turn into a spit take. David: 1:09 Anyway, I I okay I literally all of us froze. My my husband and I are like, What? And I was like, Okay, honey, let&#39;s don&#39;t don&#39;t touch anybody&#39;s private. And I was like, these are the stories, guys. These are the stories nobody talks about, but that happens. And I was like, okay, next time daddy gets hurt in his private area, we just ask if he&#39;s okay. We don&#39;t need to kiss him and kiss his boo-boo away. Gavin: 1:30 Okay, so there are many things to unpack here, but first of which, why why did your son punch you in the balls? David: 1:37 Because we were just dancing and playing, and kids like to punch their dads in the balls. I don&#39;t actually remember why, because that was not the marquee topic of that experience for me. And so, anyway, I just thought, you know, I&#39;d I&#39;d I&#39;d share a little bit about my life. Um, but one other thing I want to share about my life, and we&#39;ve talked about this before, but I want to bring it up again because a big one of these happened to me is we talk about these like very not these tiny little moments that become big changes in your life. You know, the last time you feed your baby a bottle, the last time you pick your kid up, you know, these things we talk about. Gavin: 2:11 The it w one of the things that I remember reading about with a baby, and then thought, oh, I&#39;m sure that I will know when this happened, and then it hadn&#39;t, and it&#39;s long past, is the last time you wash your kids&#39; hair. Yeah. I haven&#39;t washed my kids in years now. Yeah. And I remember reading about that, some woman lamenting, um, she was actually being very thoughtful and said, This what might be one of the last times I do it because my daughter&#39;s starting to grow out of it. And I thought, oh, that&#39;ll never happen. Oh, yeah, it totally happened to me. Done. David: 2:39 Yeah. Done. And you don&#39;t know, and it&#39;s a huge change, right? And it&#39;s a big moment, but it just happened. So ours happened the other week, and I only realized it because basically we go to the mall, as we know, every weekend, and we have a double stroller because we have two kids, and so we have a double stroller. And my son is a little big for it, but it&#39;s fine. And then one day, my husband was just like, Oh, well, do we want to put the kids in the stroller? We&#39;re just gonna run in real quick. And we&#39;re like, no, they can just walk or whatever. And that was it. And I&#39;ve been carrying around this double stroller in my car for a couple of weeks now. And my husband and I were clea]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets punched in the balls, we talk about being a &#34;no stroller family,&#34; we realize that being the favorite parent sucks, and this week we are joined by Dad and sexual medicine expert Dr. Judson Brandeis, who talks to us about his new technology to make your dick bigger (which David and Gavin DEFINITELY DON&apos;T NEED,) and we also chat about how to talk to your kids about their bodies in a healthy way. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of things going right, tell us about our what you know what speaking of things going right, you know what is also going right? David: 0:09 Not this podcast. And this is gates reworks. So my daughter is two, and she is now in this phase of like, I don&#39;t know, she acts like a mommy. She&#39;s playing with babies. She&#39;s like, honey, are you okay? Kissing them goodnight. Very, very uh, she&#39;s]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Elisha Dacey</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-elisha-dacey/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jul 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, when they go low, we put PlayDoh in our penis, Gavin is entitled, we discuss whether to reveal who is the biological parent, we rank our top 3 hypocrisies, and this week we are joined by journalist and progressive, transgressive, aggressive, and obsessive mom Elisha Dacey who talks to us about parenting a queer kid, being &#34;visibly straight,&#34; and what Canadians really think about what&apos;s going on down south. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of not at all Namibia, tell us about it. Sorry. I that was felt like it felt wrong. And this is Gatriarch. David, I just want to grow up to be an old lady. You kind of walk, I want to walk through life with the entitlement that I witnessed the other day at Lowe&#39;s of an old woman who walks past three people who are awkwardly standing in line in the paint aisle, including myself. Because we&#39;re all waiting to talk to that poor guy who&#39;s like, listen, this is just I this is not my passion in life, is to be the paint guy in the paint section at Lowe&#39;s. All of you are breathing down my back. It&#39;s a Saturday morning. I don&#39;t know why they didn&#39;t hire more people to work here at 10, 11:30 on a Saturday morning at Lowe&#39;s in the paint section. And then up comes this woman who says, Hey, Clark. And I&#39;m like, Oh, she must know him. And he turns and she&#39;s like, Clark, I&#39;m looking for that spray paint that&#39;s for furniture. Where is that? And he&#39;s like, uh, right over there. She walks away without thanking him. And I realized that bitch just walked up, looked at his name tag, skipped beyond all of us, and she got exactly what she needed. And frankly, it was very efficient. She had a quick question, it&#39;s fine. But I want to grow up in life with the entitlement of somebody who just pushes past a line and addresses a person by their first name because they&#39;re wearing the name tag. A name tag is not, it does not mean that you&#39;re supposed to use the name, I don&#39;t think. This is another discussion entirely. What? But I don&#39;t think that Clark should have been addressed by his name because Clark immediately thought, oh, I&#39;m gonna listen to this broad, you know. David: 2:00 Man, when I&#39;m an old lady, I am gonna j I&#39;m gonna steal stuff. I&#39;m gonna cut lines. Do you know what I mean? Like, I I have done enough shit in my life to where like I don&#39;t have to follow the rules anymore. I&#39;m gonna commit crimes, I&#39;m gonna do all kinds of fucked up shit when I&#39;m old. Gavin: 2:16 Well, that woman did not, she had no zero fucks to give, that&#39;s for sure. And I guess I that&#39;s kind of the story is I want to walk through the entitlement of having no fucks to give. David: 2:25 Um, my son has no fucks to give because we were playing Play-Doh the other day, and I went to do some of the dishes and I came back around the corner, and he&#39;s stuffing Play Doh in the head of his penis, like in the foreskin. He&#39;s stuffing, he&#39;s stuffing his penis full of play-doh, and I had to say out loud, for real, please don&#39;t put play-doh in your penis. And so these are things that you don&#39;t see on the brochure of what you need to know um about parenting and the things that you&#39;re gonna have to say. Gavin: 3:02 Is this the moment in the Gay Triarch&#39;s um story where we talk about whether or not to um uh circumcise our children? Have we not talked about this already? David: 3:13 I don&#39;t think so. I feel like we have, but if we haven&#39;t, I mean, I&#39;m sure I don&#39;t know if you went through this, but um a lot of gay, I you see it a lot in the gay dad um kind of groups online is like, should we or should we not? And then it just seems to everyone is very passionate about their side. Is it is a weirdly passionate issue for guys. And so when we were having kids, I remember us kind of casually having the discussion. And then when it was time to decide, it it felt significant. Now, my husband and I are both circumcised, and we were just we just kept saying, like, why, why would we? Like, what what is you know what are the what&#39;s the data out there? But also it just felt so fucking pointless and cruel to do and architect. It just like I I was just I just there was there&#39;s no religion behind it for us. There was no so what we&#39;re left with was like, I want my kid to look like me. It felt like I had to walk to school, so you have to walk to school. And I was like, I don&#39;t think we need to do it, and I think we made the absolute right decision. But I see every I have friends and family who have done the opposite, and it I totally get it because you just don&#39;t know what to do. Gavin: 4:19 It&#39;s all right, but it is uh it is we&#39;re living in an interesting time now where people do have that open discussion about like, wait, why why have we done this for you know why why has one society, America, done this for the last 80 years or so? It&#39;s a fascinating history, but now your kid gets to smuggle Play-Doh wherever he wants. And I think that you have given him a tremendous gift. David: 4:44 He one time in the bath I will never forget, he had like he has these like little plastic, it&#39;s kind of like what like a G.I. Joe would look like, but they were from Wendy&#39;s, of course, because that&#39;s the only place to go. It was the toy you got in the meal, and he he would put like their feet or their hand, whatever is like the extended part, in, and then he&#39;d stand up and it was like hanging from his dick. And it was so funny, but also like, please take the GI Joe out of your penis. I I just I I maybe I should have gotten them circumcised because then I wouldn&#39;t have to be saying these things, but it is it is weird how much fascination. I have some friends who are uncircumcised, and I&#39;ve asked them, I&#39;m like, do you do this? Do you do X, Y, and Z? They&#39;re like, Oh yeah, we do that. And I&#39;m like, oh, well, it&#39;s just part of this community I&#39;m not a part of. Gavin: 5:27 Yeah, that is wow. I cannot wait for the Wayback Machine to find this episode in 10 years and for your son to hate. David: 5:36 He&#39;s gonna be so pissed. But um, speaking of uh kind of things that gay dads talk about and and and some controversial things, I witnessed something in some of the gay fathers groups online. I don&#39;t know if you saw, I&#39;m curious to get your take on, which is they were talking about when and if, like you&#39;re asked, hey, if you if you did gestational surrogacy, who is the biological dad? Right? Like that is a common question that I have gotten a billion times that I want to ask because I&#39;m just curious. And they were basically saying, should we tell people who ask? Right. And of course, there&#39;s a sliding scale, they&#39;re like a stranger on the street, it&#39;s not their business, but also like your family. And so it was an interesting discussion. And I&#39;ve very I&#39;ve always been like, yeah, I I I&#39;m not offended by the ask. I am also curious, and I will tell you, but I understand how maybe some people find it uh like a too sensitive question to ask. What do you think? Really? Gavin: 6:29 Wait, do you mean people find it too sensitive, the asker or the ask-e? David: 6:33 Like to to be asking somebody, either your family member or a stranger who has gone through donor-conceived um surrogacy, yeah, who is the biological parent? Gavin: 6:44 I guess there&#39;s different ways of looking about this, but it&#39;s funny. I was listening to the radio just the other day, and it was the radio. David: 6:50 You&#39;re a billion episode. Gavin: 6:52 It was MPR, of course. And it was a Pride episode, and they were interviewing a woman who is a lesbian with children, and she was saying, How dare people ask me how I made my family? It&#39;s not their business, and I don&#39;t feel like it&#39;s an I don&#39;t feel like I need to share that with anybody. And I was taken aback by that because I&#39;m like, well, isn&#39;t this part of representation? Isn&#39;t this part of flying a pride flag and saying, here I am? And it&#39;s exciting to talk about um how you made your family, I think. And it normalizes it for people who are curious or don&#39;t know how it&#39;s done. Now, in terms of asking who is the biological parent, I&#39;ve never had a problem telling it. Um, I want my kids to know it. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s any, it doesn&#39;t need to be a secret. David: 7:41 And I think that&#39;s that&#39;s the crux of it right there, is that like it is part of your story. And so don&#39;t be ashamed of it. I I get the other side, which is I think like the I don&#39;t want to be looked at as less the less than parent or something like that. But I don&#39;t, I have never felt that in my life. I I I I know prior to becoming a dad, it was biology was very important to me because I was worried I wouldn&#39;t feel that way. And when I tell you, I think of me not being biologically related to my daughter zero times. I mean zero times, other than people every once in a while like, oh, you look like your son. I&#39;m like, yeah, because we both have blonde hair. I don&#39;t ever consider our connection different than my husband&#39;s, but I get how you could feel that way. Gavin: 8:22 And it&#39;s I think it&#39;s important to also, this is a part of transparency and having kind of mature conversations with your kids, not mature as in above their grade level, but that it is okay for your kid to realize that they came about in a different way, but you also love them unconditionally and you are a family. And sometimes families get crafted in different ways, and that is okay. David: 8:45 Um technically I love my non-biological kid way more than my biological kid. Yeah. Like leaps and bounds. Gavin: 8:55 Speaking of relatable, I have a couple of hacks that I have recently researched for us. Okay. Okay. You know how your kids come up with like crazy ideas like, oh, we should go do this, or I want to go do that, or blah, blah, blah, blah. And you think, how do I just get out of this? And just, you know, I don&#39;t want to say no right now, but I came across a recent uh hack that basically is you have an idea place, like a folder in the kitchen where you write down ideas, and a kid comes up with a great idea, be it go to Disneyland or I want to dye my hair blue or whatever, and we don&#39;t have time to do it right now, put it in a folder where you keep your ideas. And those are ideas that you can go back and refer to. And often kids just need to get it off their chest and they want to know they&#39;ve been heard, and so go write it down in an idea place, huh? David: 9:39 And so the idea is that like you put it in this book and then you promptly ignore it. Yes, pretty much. Yeah, you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 9:45 You&#39;re welcome. Next part is um when a kid is having a problem with something rather than just trying to um solve the problem for them, like tying their shoe or uh solving a math problem or whatever, asking them what is the tricky part for you? Because it may not be the entire act of tying their shoe, it might be just like the first loop or the second loop. And helping them isolate what is the actual problem can help them be better problem solvers themselves. Okay. And then also, I always felt like when my kids were really little and we had way too many toys, uh, they were overwhelmed by all the toys and they would very frequently easily get bored because they had basically overstimulation and too much shit all around them. So when I started to hide toys and things would disappear and they honestly wouldn&#39;t even notice. But then um every week or so, I would think to myself, oh, I should go get that other thing. I would bring it out, and it was like a brand new toy. Oh, yeah. That that um entertained them for at least four and a half minutes. And oh yeah, I was able to neglect them and go get on my phone. David: 10:46 Oh, the the circle of toys we do that in our house. We have like three areas where like toys go and then they go away, and then they get in the staging area. And it is literally like Christmas Eve. They&#39;re like, oh my god! Gavin: 10:57 They&#39;re on deck, they&#39;re on deck. David: 10:59 It&#39;s literally on deck, it&#39;s on the deck in the dugout. Wait, no, on base. What are the uh it&#39;s this is beyond my my competition. Gavin: 11:04 Well, I was thinking of auditions. David: 11:05 That was an actor like a baseballs. Gavin: 11:08 Um, that&#39;s on deck too. I never made that comparison, isn&#39;t it? Isn&#39;t it? Yeah, that&#39;s true. David: 11:12 Um, no, but uh we we for sure do that, and when I have brought things out like like infant toys, my son saw the you know the little saucer you sit in as a baby and it has like stuff around it in a circle. We went to the garage and my son found it. He played with it for an hour. Gavin: 11:28 We used to call that the uh neglectomatic 2000. Because you can just right, yeah. David: 11:36 That is fantastic. Gavin: 11:37 Or his office, our kid&#39;s office. Oh, yeah, we did the office. David: 11:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 11:42 Um, and then uh sometimes we like to talk about news in the world, and I have to say there&#39;s an awful lot of shitty news for gays out there. Uh, but it there was uh one little highlight that um in Namibia, the high court has decriminalized homosexuality. So there you go. Little bright rainbows moved to Namibia. David: 12:02 Open your Zillow and see what&#39;s going on in Namibia. You know what they don&#39;t have in Namibia? Gavin: 12:07 What? David: 12:08 Our top three list. Gate remarks. Gavin: 12:10 Top three list, three, two, one. David: 12:13 God damn, that was hard. Um, this week is my list. Oh, thank God. Gavin: 12:18 I was trying to think, wait, did I do this one or not? I am ready, but I thought, oh God, did I uh is this mine? Anyway, great. David: 12:27 You have arguably never been ready for the top three list, but always pull through with three things, which is fucking fantastic. Including what, two weeks ago when you made it up on the spot? Gavin: 12:40 Like I&#39;m doing, like I&#39;m doing right now. Uh-huh. Go ahead. David: 12:43 Uh so this week it is top three things, do as I say, not as I do. We love to embrace our hypocrisy here on Gatriarchs. And so here are the top three things do as I say, not as I do. In number three for me, wash your hands. I never wash my hands. I never wash my hands unless I was cutting raw chicken. I never wash my hands. Gavin: 13:07 And this is why every woman finds every man on the planet disgusting. David: 13:13 We are. So uh in number two, eat well. Gavin: 13:17 Yeah. David: 13:18 Oh, eat well, eat eat vegetables, stop eating when you&#39;re full, sugar is a sometime snack. Really, I really want you to eat well and think about food as fuel for your body. I don&#39;t do that. I, you know the jumbo buckets of popcorn at movie theaters? SPEAKER_01: 13:34 Yeah. David: 13:34 Do you know that now if you buy a jumbo bucket, you get a free refill? Yes. I&#39;ll blow through one and a half buckets by myself for the movie theater. Gavin: 13:44 Damn. David: 13:46 One and a half buckets. One and a half buckets. Gavin: 13:49 Uh I&#39;m rendered speechless. Why am I fat and tired all the time? David: 13:53 Okay, and and number one, the thing that I want my kids to do that I do not do is just let it go. Just let things go. That&#39;s a good thing. I still stew about that girl in fourth grade who called me gay when I didn&#39;t deserve it. And then I did...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, when they go low, we put PlayDoh in our penis, Gavin is entitled, we discuss whether to reveal who is the biological parent, we rank our top 3 hypocrisies, and this week we are joined by journalist and progressive, transgressive, aggressive, a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, when they go low, we put PlayDoh in our penis, Gavin is entitled, we discuss whether to reveal who is the biological parent, we rank our top 3 hypocrisies, and this week we are joined by journalist and progressive, transgressive, aggressive, and obsessive mom Elisha Dacey who talks to us about parenting a queer kid, being &#34;visibly straight,&#34; and what Canadians really think about what&apos;s going on down south. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of not at all Namibia, tell us about it. Sorry. I that was felt like it felt wrong. And this is Gatriarch. David, I just want to grow up to be an old lady. You kind of walk, I want to walk through life with the entitlement that I witnessed the other day at Lowe&#39;s of an old woman who walks past three people who are awkwardly standing in line in the paint aisle, including myself. Because we&#39;re all waiting to talk to that poor guy who&#39;s like, listen, this is just I this is not my passion in life, is to be the paint guy in the paint section at Lowe&#39;s. All of you are breathing down my back. It&#39;s a Saturday morning. I don&#39;t know why they didn&#39;t hire more people to work here at 10, 11:30 on a Saturday morning at Lowe&#39;s in the paint section. And then up comes this woman who says, Hey, Clark. And I&#39;m like, Oh, she must know him. And he turns and she&#39;s like, Clark, I&#39;m looking for that spray paint that&#39;s for furniture. Where is that? And he&#39;s like, uh, right over there. She walks away without thanking him. And I realized that bitch just walked up, looked at his name tag, skipped beyond all of us, and she got exactly what she needed. And frankly, it was very efficient. She had a quick question, it&#39;s fine. But I want to grow up in life with the entitlement of somebody who just pushes past a line and addresses a person by their first name because they&#39;re wearing the name tag. A name tag is not, it does not mean that you&#39;re supposed to use the name, I don&#39;t think. This is another discussion entirely. What? But I don&#39;t think that Clark should have been addressed by his name because Clark immediately thought, oh, I&#39;m gonna listen to this broad, you know. David: 2:00 Man, when I&#39;m an old lady, I am gonna j I&#39;m gonna steal stuff. I&#39;m gonna cut lines. Do you know what I mean? Like, I I have done enough shit in my life to where like I don&#39;t have to follow the rules anymore. I&#39;m gonna commit crimes, I&#39;m gonna do all kinds of fucked up shit when I&#39;m old. Gavin: 2:16 Well, that woman did not, she had no zero fucks to give, that&#39;s for sure. And I guess I that&#39;s kind of the story is I want to walk through the entitlement of having no fucks to give. David: 2:25 Um, my son has no fucks to give because we were playing Play-Doh the other day, and I went to do some of the dishes and I came back around the corner, and he&#39;s stuffing Play Doh in the head of his penis, like in the foreskin. He&#39;s stuffing, he&#39;s stuffing his penis full of play-doh, and I had to say out loud, for real, please don&#39;t put play-doh in your penis. And so these are things that you don&#39;t see on the brochure of what you need to know um about parenting and the things that you&#39;re gonna have to say. Gavin: 3:02 Is this the moment in the Gay Triarch&#39;s um story where we talk about whether or not to um uh circumcise our children? Have we not talked about this already? David: 3:13 I don&#39;t think so. I feel like we have, but if we haven&#39;t, I mean, I&#39;m sure I don&#39;t know if you went through this, but um a lot of gay, I you see it a lot in the gay dad um kind of groups online is like, should we or should we not? And then it just seems to everyone is very passionate about their side. Is it is a weirdly passionate issue for guys. And so when we were having kids, I remember us kind of casually having the discussion. And then when it was time to decide, it it felt significant. Now, my husband and I are both circumcised, and we were just we just kept saying, like, why, why would we? Like, what what is you know what are the what&#39;s the data out there? But also it just felt so fucking pointless and cruel to do and architect. It just like I I was just I just there was there&#39;s no religion behind it for us. There was no so what we&#39;re left with was like, I want my kid to look like me. It felt like I had to walk to school, so you have to walk to school. And I was like, I don&#39;t think we need to do it, and I think we made the absolute right decision. But I see every I have friends and family who have done the opposite, and it I totally get it because you just don&#39;t know what to do. Gavin: 4:19 It&#39;s all right, but it is uh it is we&#39;re living in an interesting time now where people do have that open discussion about like, wait, why why have we done this for you know why why has one society, America, done this for the last 80 years or so? It&#39;s a fascinating history, but now your kid gets to smuggle Play-Doh wherever he wants. And I think that you have given him a tremendous gift. David: 4:44 He one time in the bath I will never forget, he had like he has these like little plastic, it&#39;s kind of like what like a G.I. Joe would look like, but they were from Wendy&#39;s, of course, because that&#39;s the only place to go. It was the toy you got in the meal, and he he would put like their feet or their hand, whatever is like the extended part, in, and then he&#39;d stand up and it was like hanging from his dick. And it was so funny, but also like, please take the GI Joe out of your penis. I I just I I maybe I should have gotten them circumcised because then I wouldn&#39;t have to be saying these things, but it is it is weird how much fascination. I have some friends who are uncircumcised, and I&#39;ve asked them, I&#39;m like, do you do this? Do you do X, Y, and Z? They&#39;re like, Oh yeah, we do that. And I&#39;m like, oh, well, it&#39;s just part of this community I&#39;m not a part of. Gavin: 5:27 Yeah, that is wow. I cannot wait for the Wayback Machine to find this episode in 10 years and for your son to hate. David: 5:36 He&#39;s gonna be so pissed. But um, speaking of uh kind of things that gay dads talk about and and and some controversial things, I witnessed something in some of the gay fathers groups online. I don&#39;t know if you saw, I&#39;m curious to get your take on, which is they were talking about when and if, like you&#39;re asked, hey, if you if you did gestational surrogacy, who is the biological dad? Right? Like that is a common question that I have gotten a billion times that I want to ask because I&#39;m just curious. And they were basically saying, should we tell people who ask? Right. And of course, there&#39;s a sliding scale, they&#39;re like a stranger on the street, it&#39;s not their business, but also like your family. And so it was an interesting discussion. And I&#39;ve very I&#39;ve always been like, yeah, I I I&#39;m not offended by the ask. I am also curious, and I will tell you, but I understand how maybe some people find it uh like a too sensitive question to ask. What do you think? Really? Gavin: 6:29 Wait, do you mean people find it too sensitive, the asker or the ask-e? David: 6:33 Like to to be asking somebody, either your family member or a stranger who has gone through donor-conceived um surrogacy, yeah, who is the biological parent? Gavin: 6:44 I guess there&#39;s different ways of looking about this, but it&#39;s funny. I was listening to the radio just the other day, and it was the radio. David: 6:50 You&#39;re a billion episode. Gavin: 6:52 It was MPR, of course. And it was a Pride episode, and they were interviewing a woman who is a lesbian with children, and she was saying, How dare people ask me how I made my family? It&#39;s not their business, and I don&#39;t feel like it&#39;s an I don&#39;t feel like I need to share that with anybody. And I was taken aback by that because I&#39;m like, well, isn&#39;t this part of representation? Isn&#39;t this part of flying a pride flag and saying, here I am? And it&#39;s exciting to talk about um how you made your family, I think. And it normalizes it for people who are curious or don&#39;t know how it&#39;s done. Now, in terms of asking who is the biological parent, I&#39;ve never had a problem telling it. Um, I want my kids to know it. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s any, it doesn&#39;t need to be a secret. David: 7:41 And I think that&#39;s that&#39;s the crux of it right there, is that like it is part of your story. And so don&#39;t be ashamed of it. I I get the other side, which is I think like the I don&#39;t want to be looked at as less the less than parent or something like that. But I don&#39;t, I have never felt that in my life. I I I I know prior to becoming a dad, it was biology was very important to me because I was worried I wouldn&#39;t feel that way. And when I tell you, I think of me not being biologically related to my daughter zero times. I mean zero times, other than people every once in a while like, oh, you look like your son. I&#39;m like, yeah, because we both have blonde hair. I don&#39;t ever consider our connection different than my husband&#39;s, but I get how you could feel that way. Gavin: 8:22 And it&#39;s I think it&#39;s important to also, this is a part of transparency and having kind of mature conversations with your kids, not mature as in above their grade level, but that it is okay for your kid to realize that they came about in a different way, but you also love them unconditionally and you are a family. And sometimes families get crafted in different ways, and that is okay. David: 8:45 Um technically I love my non-biological kid way more than my biological kid. Yeah. Like leaps and bounds. Gavin: 8:55 Speaking of relatable, I have a couple of hacks that I have recently researched for us. Okay. Okay. You know how your kids come up with like crazy ideas like, oh, we should go do this, or I want to go do that, or blah, blah, blah, blah. And you think, how do I just get out of this? And just, you know, I don&#39;t want to say no right now, but I came across a recent uh hack that basically is you have an idea place, like a folder in the kitchen where you write down ideas, and a kid comes up with a great idea, be it go to Disneyland or I want to dye my hair blue or whatever, and we don&#39;t have time to do it right now, put it in a folder where you keep your ideas. And those are ideas that you can go back and refer to. And often kids just need to get it off their chest and they want to know they&#39;ve been heard, and so go write it down in an idea place, huh? David: 9:39 And so the idea is that like you put it in this book and then you promptly ignore it. Yes, pretty much. Yeah, you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 9:45 You&#39;re welcome. Next part is um when a kid is having a problem with something rather than just trying to um solve the problem for them, like tying their shoe or uh solving a math problem or whatever, asking them what is the tricky part for you? Because it may not be the entire act of tying their shoe, it might be just like the first loop or the second loop. And helping them isolate what is the actual problem can help them be better problem solvers themselves. Okay. And then also, I always felt like when my kids were really little and we had way too many toys, uh, they were overwhelmed by all the toys and they would very frequently easily get bored because they had basically overstimulation and too much shit all around them. So when I started to hide toys and things would disappear and they honestly wouldn&#39;t even notice. But then um every week or so, I would think to myself, oh, I should go get that other thing. I would bring it out, and it was like a brand new toy. Oh, yeah. That that um entertained them for at least four and a half minutes. And oh yeah, I was able to neglect them and go get on my phone. David: 10:46 Oh, the the circle of toys we do that in our house. We have like three areas where like toys go and then they go away, and then they get in the staging area. And it is literally like Christmas Eve. They&#39;re like, oh my god! Gavin: 10:57 They&#39;re on deck, they&#39;re on deck. David: 10:59 It&#39;s literally on deck, it&#39;s on the deck in the dugout. Wait, no, on base. What are the uh it&#39;s this is beyond my my competition. Gavin: 11:04 Well, I was thinking of auditions. David: 11:05 That was an actor like a baseballs. Gavin: 11:08 Um, that&#39;s on deck too. I never made that comparison, isn&#39;t it? Isn&#39;t it? Yeah, that&#39;s true. David: 11:12 Um, no, but uh we we for sure do that, and when I have brought things out like like infant toys, my son saw the you know the little saucer you sit in as a baby and it has like stuff around it in a circle. We went to the garage and my son found it. He played with it for an hour. Gavin: 11:28 We used to call that the uh neglectomatic 2000. Because you can just right, yeah. David: 11:36 That is fantastic. Gavin: 11:37 Or his office, our kid&#39;s office. Oh, yeah, we did the office. David: 11:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 11:42 Um, and then uh sometimes we like to talk about news in the world, and I have to say there&#39;s an awful lot of shitty news for gays out there. Uh, but it there was uh one little highlight that um in Namibia, the high court has decriminalized homosexuality. So there you go. Little bright rainbows moved to Namibia. David: 12:02 Open your Zillow and see what&#39;s going on in Namibia. You know what they don&#39;t have in Namibia? Gavin: 12:07 What? David: 12:08 Our top three list. Gate remarks. Gavin: 12:10 Top three list, three, two, one. David: 12:13 God damn, that was hard. Um, this week is my list. Oh, thank God. Gavin: 12:18 I was trying to think, wait, did I do this one or not? I am ready, but I thought, oh God, did I uh is this mine? Anyway, great. David: 12:27 You have arguably never been ready for the top three list, but always pull through with three things, which is fucking fantastic. Including what, two weeks ago when you made it up on the spot? Gavin: 12:40 Like I&#39;m doing, like I&#39;m doing right now. Uh-huh. Go ahead. David: 12:43 Uh so this week it is top three things, do as I say, not as I do. We love to embrace our hypocrisy here on Gatriarchs. And so here are the top three things do as I say, not as I do. In number three for me, wash your hands. I never wash my hands. I never wash my hands unless I was cutting raw chicken. I never wash my hands. Gavin: 13:07 And this is why every woman finds every man on the planet disgusting. David: 13:13 We are. So uh in number two, eat well. Gavin: 13:17 Yeah. David: 13:18 Oh, eat well, eat eat vegetables, stop eating when you&#39;re full, sugar is a sometime snack. Really, I really want you to eat well and think about food as fuel for your body. I don&#39;t do that. I, you know the jumbo buckets of popcorn at movie theaters? SPEAKER_01: 13:34 Yeah. David: 13:34 Do you know that now if you buy a jumbo bucket, you get a free refill? Yes. I&#39;ll blow through one and a half buckets by myself for the movie theater. Gavin: 13:44 Damn. David: 13:46 One and a half buckets. One and a half buckets. Gavin: 13:49 Uh I&#39;m rendered speechless. Why am I fat and tired all the time? David: 13:53 Okay, and and number one, the thing that I want my kids to do that I do not do is just let it go. Just let things go. That&#39;s a good thing. I still stew about that girl in fourth grade who called me gay when I didn&#39;t deserve it. And then I did...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, when they go low, we put PlayDoh in our penis, Gavin is entitled, we discuss whether to reveal who is the biological parent, we rank our top 3 hypocrisies, and this week we are joined by journalist and progressive, transgressive, aggressive, and obsessive mom Elisha Dacey who talks to us about parenting a queer kid, being &#34;visibly straight,&#34; and what Canadians really think about what&apos;s going on down south. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of not at all Namibia, tell us about it. Sorry. I that was felt like it felt wrong. And this is Gatriarch. David, I just want to grow up to be an old lady. You kind of walk, I want to walk through life with the entitlement that I witnessed the other day at Lowe&#39;s of an old woman who walks past three people who are awkwardly standing in line in the paint aisle, including myself. Because we&#39;re all waiting to talk to that poor guy who&#39;s like, listen, this is just I this is not my passion in life, is to be the paint guy in the paint section at Lowe&#39;s. All of you are breathing down my back. It&#39;s a Saturday morning. I don&#39;t know why they didn&#39;t hire more people to work here at 10, 11:30 on a Saturday morning at Lowe&#39;s in the paint section. And then up comes this woman who says, Hey, Clark. And I&#39;m like, Oh, she must know him. And he turns and she&#39;s like, Clark, I&#39;m looking for that spray paint that&#39;s for furniture. Where is that? And he&#39;s like, uh, right over there. She walks away without thanking him. And I realized that bitch just walked up, looked at his name tag, skipped beyond all of us, and she got exactly what she needed. And frankly, it was very efficient. She had a quick question, it&#39;s fine. But I want to grow up in life with the entitlement of somebody who just pushes past a line and addresses a person by their first name because they&#39;re wearing the name tag. A name tag is not, it does not mean that you&#39;re supposed to use the name, I don&#39;t think. This is another discussion entirely. What? But I don&#39;t think that Clark should have been addressed by his name because Clark immediately thought, oh, I&#39;m gonna listen to this broad, you know. David: 2:00 Man, when I&#39;m an old lady, I am gonna j I&#39;m gonna steal stuff. I&#39;m gonna cut lines. Do you know what I mean? Like, I I have done enough shit in my life to where like I don&#39;t have to follow the rules anymore. I&#39;m gonna commit crimes, I&#39;m gonna do all kinds of fucked up shit when I&#39;m old. Gavin: 2:16 Well, that woman did not, she had no zero fucks to give, that&#39;s for sure. And I guess I that&#39;s kind of the story is I want to walk through the entitlement of having no fucks to give. David: 2:25 Um, my son has no fucks to give because we were playing Play-Doh the other day, and I went to do some of the dishes and I came back around the corner, and he&#39;s stuffing Play Doh in the head of his penis, like in the foreskin. He&#39;s stuffing, he&#39;s stuffing his penis full of play-doh, and I had to say out loud, for real, please don&#39;t put play-doh in your penis. And so these are things that you don&#39;t see on the brochure of what you need to know um about parenting and the things that you&#39;re gonna have to say. Gavin: 3:02 Is this the moment in the Gay Triarch&#39;s um story where we talk about whether or not to um uh circumcise our children? Have we not talked about this already? David: 3:13 I don&#39;t think so. I feel like we have, but if we haven&#39;t, I mean, I&#39;m sure I don&#39;t know if you went through this, but um a lot of gay, I you see it a lot in the gay dad um kind of groups online is like, should we or should we not? And then it just seems to everyone is very passionate about their side. Is it is a weirdly passionate issue for guys. And so when we were having ki]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, when they go low, we put PlayDoh in our penis, Gavin is entitled, we discuss whether to reveal who is the biological parent, we rank our top 3 hypocrisies, and this week we are joined by journalist and progressive, transgressive, aggressive, and obsessive mom Elisha Dacey who talks to us about parenting a queer kid, being &#34;visibly straight,&#34; and what Canadians really think about what&apos;s going on down south. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Speaking of not at all Namibia, tell us about it. Sorry. I that was felt like it felt wrong. And this is Gatriarch. David, I just want to grow up to be an old lady. You kind of walk, I want to walk through life with the entitlement that I witnessed the other day at Lowe&#39;s of an old woman who walks past three people who are awkwardly standing in line in the paint aisle, including myself. Because we&#39]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with journalist Spencer Macnaughton</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-journalist-spencer-macnaughton/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jul 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David breaks new ground with his annoyance at iPads, Gavin enjoys classic theatre and forces it on his kid, we rank the top 3 careers you don&apos;t want your kids to have, and we are joined this week by Emmy-nominated and shirtless-journalist Spencer Macnaughton, who schools us in the way only a Canadian can, as we chat about media, his quest for childhood media literacy, and why he is starting his own company, Uncloseted Media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Is it hot as fuck where you are? I I hate it. I hate the heat. As a as a member of the stocky man community, I like it a good like 61 degrees anywhere I think. Gavin: 0:12 I thought 69 was the degree. David: 0:15 Yeah, no. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. David: 0:31 So I want to start this episode off with a very hot topic that all parents understand. That I am I don&#39;t think anybody has an answer to, but I just like, can we talk about iPads? Because they are both the source and solution to all of my fucking problems. Gavin: 0:52 David, David, like 2014 called. Just you. No, 2014 called and it wants its hot topics back. But please continue. David: 1:01 I I I I just I I guess maybe because my kids are just now growing into iPad time. Yeah, the person they are before an iPad is in front of them, and the person they are after or during the iPad, and then the third person they become when you take that iPad away, are it&#39;s the holy trinity of terror. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What is but but the thing is, is that either I have to every day say, no, we&#39;re not doing our iPad right now, cry, cry, bitch, moan, and do that for the rest of my life, or I give into it, and then when I take it away, they become psychopathic monsters. I&#39;m trying to find a balance here. And my question to you, elder, is is there one? Or is this just a fight I&#39;m gonna have until they leave the house? Gavin: 1:49 I mean, everybody listening to this, whether or not they have children, but especially those with chillins, are definitely rolling their eyes at this because this is the most cliche thing that you&#39;re going to battle for the next 10, 15 years. So just welcome to the party. That&#39;s all. I&#39;ve been trying to tell you, trying to tell you. But it is Gavin, you know I don&#39;t listen to you. It is the it&#39;s the real fucking deal, man. It&#39;s the real fucking deal. And it&#39;s all about like this is why I revert to, you know, sincerity and generosity and gratitude and all this shit. Because honestly, it is a constant, constant, constant battle. And even today, literally today, um July 1st, 2024, right? Anyway, even today July 3rd. July 3rd. Even today, I woke up thinking, oh God, what kind of battle are we gonna have today? My daughter, who had a camp that was a little later in the morning, my uh we&#39;re on two different schedules right now with two fucking camps, which is of course a complete nightmare. And that means one gets to lay in bed longer than the other, meaning my daughter gets to lay in bed longer. And she has um cell phone limits that I uh control like a fucking terrorist from my phone, and I had set a certain thing so that everything went dark after 40 minutes instead of letting her do this for 20 minutes, this 20 minutes, so she was screaming at me from her bed. And I said, Can you come down here and talk to me like an adult? So she called me because I had not turned off the phone from upstairs, screaming at me about how I had limited her um screen time universally or globally, instead of just like app by app. Listen, dude, it never ends. And it create, but it is this is why and you can&#39;t put an embargo on it because this is this is the world, right? David: 3:38 The world is on the iPad. I learning is on the right pad. I So it&#39;s like you gotta give a little bit of the drugs, yeah, but then you can&#39;t just give them all the drugs. And also the the fucking wolverine that is uncovered when you pull that fucking screen away from them. I my kid turns into the meanest person I&#39;ve ever met in my entire life. This is the most cliche shit you have ever brought to Gatriarchs. But I&#39;m glad I don&#39;t know what to do, but I&#39;m experiencing it. And listen, I bet all the other parents out there have experienced it. I was hoping you had a solution. But no, it&#39;s completely unhelpful. And honestly, you&#39;ve been kind of mean to me, like somebody took away your iPad. Gavin: 4:14 Well, listen, let on a sincere note, it&#39;s just all about maintaining um balance. And that is the most Libra thing ever. But it is, it is all about being able to set the expectations and be like, listen, you can earn it. First, you have to eat your broccoli and then you get the dessert. David: 4:29 So, first you, you know, we do that, but it&#39;s just like, do I have to argue? Like, what it&#39;s like, I want iPad in the morning. No, you know, iPad is after this time. Do I have to have that conversation every day for the next 17 years? Is my question. Yes, you do. Even though it is a hard rule, iPads are after dinner for half an hour. Oh my god, you are spin that rule. That is strict. Oh no, we are we are strict as fuck. But then this morning I promised Hannah, my two-year-old, she has like this little mini one. I was like, you can play on it a little bit because she doesn&#39;t know how to use it. And then, of course, Emmett was like, well, I want to use my iPad. And then when it was time to go to school, it was like I slapped each of them in the mouth. They all just became wolves. And I was like, this is insane. Well, this is. But I guess this is just something at the issue. Gavin: 5:16 This is also why we were given this platform to give all of our wisdom and knowledge to the world, which is desperate to figure out how to do it all. Because honestly, parenting is such a fucking marathon and it is non-stop, and you just gotta stay strong, dude. You can&#39;t, it&#39;s yeah, I mean, listen, you&#39;re allowed to have moments of offense. But I&#39;m a weak little baby. I well, okay. You pretend, you pretend, but I know you are a strong woman hear you roar. Look at those guns. Look at those guns. David: 5:44 I am a strong black woman. Gavin: 5:46 I saw those guns as you were um flexing death and destruction. I did just come from the gym. I did this. No, I didn&#39;t come. Well, anyway, it&#39;s all about limits, dude. And you just have to be um have a longer endurance than they do, and good fucking luck. But I agree with you. I mean, not to belabor this, but I do think that embargoes are just ridiculous because come on, it is you want your kid to be able to navigate technology. The world is there. And and they need to have the self-control eventually to know when they have limits. So good luck with enforcing your limits. But believe me, literally every day, even today on July 77th, 2028, um, I was dealing with basically screen limits this morning. David: 6:25 Wait till you hear my top three list for uh next week. It&#39;s it&#39;s gonna play to us a little bit. Gavin: 6:29 So in the meantime, on the exact opposite of the iPad discussion, this uh just a couple nights ago, I took my daughter to see uh South Pacific at Goodspeed Opera House, which is not very far from us. And she I had to literally drag her out of the house kicking and screaming because she would rather stay home on her phone than go fill in the blank, then go just fill in the blank. But I was like, listen, we&#39;re gonna go see this show. And I didn&#39;t set her up ahead of time. I actually didn&#39;t talk about the show at all. I was just like, listen, we&#39;re gonna go see a show. Now, David, uh South Pacific is not my favorite musical of all time. I do think it&#39;s a classic. I think there&#39;s lots of themes that are still resonant, and now having just seen it again the other night, it&#39;s really fascinating that in the 1950s they wrote a show show basically about racism. It&#39;s uh actually quite interesting. The show was beautifully done, all the actors were great, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, of course. Uh but at intermission, I turned to my daughter. She actually kept, she she bit her tongue, and I said, So what did you what is your favorite part so far of the show? And she goes, uh the end. And I&#39;m like, listen, but I was gonna force this culture because I do believe that she will be a better person, having seen at least once in her life South Pacific, if she even if she goes around saying for the rest of her life, she hated it. So I don&#39;t know. Are do you plan to force feed culture like that to your kids even more? David: 7:55 I feel like I don&#39;t force culture the way you do, but I do I do force what I want them to absorb. But I do it a little more like, you know, I I like to play Broadway show tunes and sing, dance, and around the house. And I don&#39;t force them to do it, but I try to make sure that they are exposed, exposed to it enough to where at least they were like, Oh, my dad used to love musical theater, and I have some sort of knowledge of it. But I would, I&#39;m a way better parent than to drag my daughter to Good Speed Opera House to see a regional production of South Pacific. unknown: 8:26 Just kidding. Gavin: 8:27 But then I I did think to myself, why uh she turns to me and she says, Why aren&#39;t you taking my brother? And I&#39;m like, Oh, right. I mean, why am I not taking your brother? Uh well, he&#39;s so then it started a discussion of like he needs to go, and he&#39;s like, No, I&#39;ll go to the next one. You know, you know, shows because you know shows are things that drive me crazy. And so he refused to go, but he said he would go to the next one, which is some brand new musical about a miserable family in Scotland. And I&#39;m like, well, you should probably go see South Pacific, not a new show. But anyway, I will be forced feeding culture to both of my kids, and consequently, I will retain my status as being a better person than you. Good. As America&#39;s finest news source, I wanted to make sure that you knew about a couple of things that are worthy of discussion. First of all, did you know that Miss Maryland just a couple of weeks ago was crowned, and she is a trans queen. David: 9:27 Wow. I did not know that. I to be fair, I don&#39;t know anything about the like, you know, pageant community. Um, but that&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 9:35 Yeah, she&#39;s also the bill of the ball at the Washington, D.C. Pride Parade. So that&#39;s just all badass. Uh, I mean, how so many different discussions going on in different parts of this country, huh? I mean, good for you, Miss Maryland. But then also, did you know Disney beat DeSantis? Do you know about this? David: 9:53 Yes. I love I love this petty back and forth between Disney World and DeSantis. I, yeah, I fucking eating up all the drama. Gavin: 10:03 Well, can you explain to me then? Because apparently you are uh you are up on the gay news, but I don&#39;t entirely understand. I think Disney essentially beat DeSantis at his own game. Like he appointed this whole district council to the Disney World lands, and they were gonna basically pull a bunch of hijinks and not let Disney do anything. But essentially, they have now approved a plan that has a 50, 15-year, 60 quadrillion dollar plan to have a fifth new park. I&#39;m sure all the Disney freaks out there already know this. Uh, they also have to donate land to infrastructure and they have to give$10 million to affordable housing in Central Florida, which I think is actually very cool. But I&#39;m assuming, even though like the headline was not Disney beats DeSantis, but I feel like Disney won, right? David: 10:48 You think? But yes, but it was also one of those things where in the beginning, when this drama happened, it was like, you DeSantis, do you think that you&#39;re gonna think that Disney is going to even if you law if Disney picked up and left Florida, what&#39;s left is alligators and meth. End of list. Yes. There&#39;s nothing else left in Porto. So you were never gonna win this. And I listen, I don&#39;t I don&#39;t get it, but like, yeah. Gavin: 11:13 Also, a solid, shall we say, 69% of his voters are undoubtedly huge Disney freaks, too. So they&#39;re gonna be if it&#39;s gonna be you against Mickey, guess what, Ronnie D, you&#39;re going down. David: 11:26 Yeah. So those poor people want to buy a leather MM&#39;s jacket from the store. So you&#39;re not gonna get it. Gavin: 11:34 Listen, you can&#39;t stand in the way of capitalism or Disney. So get the fuck out of the way, DeSantis. You know what you can stand in the way of, though? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. Yes, our top three lists. This week, the topic was the top three careers you don&#39;t want your kids to do. So, being my list, I&#39;m gonna give you uh what my top three are, okay? Number three, I&#39;ve probably talked about my uh not love of basketball in the previously because I&#39;m tall and everybody told me in my life I was supposed to be a basketball player. So basically, I&#39;m desperate that my children do not become basketball players. I don&#39;t think I&#39;m too worried about it. In fact, I&#39;m not, but please don&#39;t be a basketball player so that I just have to go eat crow for the rest of my life, right? Number two, finance bros. Now, I want my kids to be rich. Six five, blue eyes. I want my kids to be rich so that they can take care of me and change my diapers when I&#39;m old. But please just don&#39;t be like a finance bro, because like I don&#39;t know. I would just be apologizing for them for the rest of my life, you know? And it&#39;s about me. David: 12:46 Yeah, but you&#39;d be apologizing uh for them on your phone. Well, there is that. Gavin: 12:51 Do you know what I mean? I don&#39;t know. I there are certain I listen, I have no standards or actual principles whatsoever. I can&#39;t wait for that to be taken out of context someday. But I I I I just I don&#39;t think that I can apologize for my kids being finance bros for the rest of their lives ever. So that&#39;s number two. Number one, don&#39;t be a clown. Like a literal clown. Please literal clown. Please clown around for your entire life, but just I don&#39;t know. I would, I would just, the world needs clowns, but just don&#39;t be my kids. David: 13:24 You know what it is? The the saddest part about being just period, period. Is is is is the is the is the walk on the parking lot from your from your Nissan Ultima into the tent with your with your unicycle over your shoulder. That that like that 100-yard walk is just the sadest. So much sad about it. Gavin: 13:44 So much sad about it. And you know what? If there are clowns out there, particularly gay clowns, particularly gay clowns who are fathers, we would love to hear from you and explain to us why your career path is one we should aspire to. But for right now, I&#39;m gonna stick to this. I I I kind of hope my kids are not clowns. David: 13:58 What about you, David? So, and number three, press agents. Because I feel like to be a good press agent, you&#39;ve got to just totally disregard the truth. And there&#39;s just something about like spinning everything, everything is spun, so you don&#39;t know what authenticity, man. I I hope my kids are at least authentic. Even if they&#39;re fucking assholes, I hope they&#39;re authentically assholes. Yeah, that&#39;s true. Finance. Number three, yeah as long as they&#39;re yeah, totally authentic. Yeah. Uh number three, press agent. Number two, deep sea tech diver. Have you seen the TikTok about the divers who were like in the oil pipeline under the water and got stuck? Oh...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David breaks new ground with his annoyance at iPads, Gavin enjoys classic theatre and forces it on his kid, we rank the top 3 careers you don&apos;t want your kids to have, and we are joined this week by Emmy-nominated and shirtless-journalist]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David breaks new ground with his annoyance at iPads, Gavin enjoys classic theatre and forces it on his kid, we rank the top 3 careers you don&apos;t want your kids to have, and we are joined this week by Emmy-nominated and shirtless-journalist Spencer Macnaughton, who schools us in the way only a Canadian can, as we chat about media, his quest for childhood media literacy, and why he is starting his own company, Uncloseted Media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Is it hot as fuck where you are? I I hate it. I hate the heat. As a as a member of the stocky man community, I like it a good like 61 degrees anywhere I think. Gavin: 0:12 I thought 69 was the degree. David: 0:15 Yeah, no. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. David: 0:31 So I want to start this episode off with a very hot topic that all parents understand. That I am I don&#39;t think anybody has an answer to, but I just like, can we talk about iPads? Because they are both the source and solution to all of my fucking problems. Gavin: 0:52 David, David, like 2014 called. Just you. No, 2014 called and it wants its hot topics back. But please continue. David: 1:01 I I I I just I I guess maybe because my kids are just now growing into iPad time. Yeah, the person they are before an iPad is in front of them, and the person they are after or during the iPad, and then the third person they become when you take that iPad away, are it&#39;s the holy trinity of terror. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What is but but the thing is, is that either I have to every day say, no, we&#39;re not doing our iPad right now, cry, cry, bitch, moan, and do that for the rest of my life, or I give into it, and then when I take it away, they become psychopathic monsters. I&#39;m trying to find a balance here. And my question to you, elder, is is there one? Or is this just a fight I&#39;m gonna have until they leave the house? Gavin: 1:49 I mean, everybody listening to this, whether or not they have children, but especially those with chillins, are definitely rolling their eyes at this because this is the most cliche thing that you&#39;re going to battle for the next 10, 15 years. So just welcome to the party. That&#39;s all. I&#39;ve been trying to tell you, trying to tell you. But it is Gavin, you know I don&#39;t listen to you. It is the it&#39;s the real fucking deal, man. It&#39;s the real fucking deal. And it&#39;s all about like this is why I revert to, you know, sincerity and generosity and gratitude and all this shit. Because honestly, it is a constant, constant, constant battle. And even today, literally today, um July 1st, 2024, right? Anyway, even today July 3rd. July 3rd. Even today, I woke up thinking, oh God, what kind of battle are we gonna have today? My daughter, who had a camp that was a little later in the morning, my uh we&#39;re on two different schedules right now with two fucking camps, which is of course a complete nightmare. And that means one gets to lay in bed longer than the other, meaning my daughter gets to lay in bed longer. And she has um cell phone limits that I uh control like a fucking terrorist from my phone, and I had set a certain thing so that everything went dark after 40 minutes instead of letting her do this for 20 minutes, this 20 minutes, so she was screaming at me from her bed. And I said, Can you come down here and talk to me like an adult? So she called me because I had not turned off the phone from upstairs, screaming at me about how I had limited her um screen time universally or globally, instead of just like app by app. Listen, dude, it never ends. And it create, but it is this is why and you can&#39;t put an embargo on it because this is this is the world, right? David: 3:38 The world is on the iPad. I learning is on the right pad. I So it&#39;s like you gotta give a little bit of the drugs, yeah, but then you can&#39;t just give them all the drugs. And also the the fucking wolverine that is uncovered when you pull that fucking screen away from them. I my kid turns into the meanest person I&#39;ve ever met in my entire life. This is the most cliche shit you have ever brought to Gatriarchs. But I&#39;m glad I don&#39;t know what to do, but I&#39;m experiencing it. And listen, I bet all the other parents out there have experienced it. I was hoping you had a solution. But no, it&#39;s completely unhelpful. And honestly, you&#39;ve been kind of mean to me, like somebody took away your iPad. Gavin: 4:14 Well, listen, let on a sincere note, it&#39;s just all about maintaining um balance. And that is the most Libra thing ever. But it is, it is all about being able to set the expectations and be like, listen, you can earn it. First, you have to eat your broccoli and then you get the dessert. David: 4:29 So, first you, you know, we do that, but it&#39;s just like, do I have to argue? Like, what it&#39;s like, I want iPad in the morning. No, you know, iPad is after this time. Do I have to have that conversation every day for the next 17 years? Is my question. Yes, you do. Even though it is a hard rule, iPads are after dinner for half an hour. Oh my god, you are spin that rule. That is strict. Oh no, we are we are strict as fuck. But then this morning I promised Hannah, my two-year-old, she has like this little mini one. I was like, you can play on it a little bit because she doesn&#39;t know how to use it. And then, of course, Emmett was like, well, I want to use my iPad. And then when it was time to go to school, it was like I slapped each of them in the mouth. They all just became wolves. And I was like, this is insane. Well, this is. But I guess this is just something at the issue. Gavin: 5:16 This is also why we were given this platform to give all of our wisdom and knowledge to the world, which is desperate to figure out how to do it all. Because honestly, parenting is such a fucking marathon and it is non-stop, and you just gotta stay strong, dude. You can&#39;t, it&#39;s yeah, I mean, listen, you&#39;re allowed to have moments of offense. But I&#39;m a weak little baby. I well, okay. You pretend, you pretend, but I know you are a strong woman hear you roar. Look at those guns. Look at those guns. David: 5:44 I am a strong black woman. Gavin: 5:46 I saw those guns as you were um flexing death and destruction. I did just come from the gym. I did this. No, I didn&#39;t come. Well, anyway, it&#39;s all about limits, dude. And you just have to be um have a longer endurance than they do, and good fucking luck. But I agree with you. I mean, not to belabor this, but I do think that embargoes are just ridiculous because come on, it is you want your kid to be able to navigate technology. The world is there. And and they need to have the self-control eventually to know when they have limits. So good luck with enforcing your limits. But believe me, literally every day, even today on July 77th, 2028, um, I was dealing with basically screen limits this morning. David: 6:25 Wait till you hear my top three list for uh next week. It&#39;s it&#39;s gonna play to us a little bit. Gavin: 6:29 So in the meantime, on the exact opposite of the iPad discussion, this uh just a couple nights ago, I took my daughter to see uh South Pacific at Goodspeed Opera House, which is not very far from us. And she I had to literally drag her out of the house kicking and screaming because she would rather stay home on her phone than go fill in the blank, then go just fill in the blank. But I was like, listen, we&#39;re gonna go see this show. And I didn&#39;t set her up ahead of time. I actually didn&#39;t talk about the show at all. I was just like, listen, we&#39;re gonna go see a show. Now, David, uh South Pacific is not my favorite musical of all time. I do think it&#39;s a classic. I think there&#39;s lots of themes that are still resonant, and now having just seen it again the other night, it&#39;s really fascinating that in the 1950s they wrote a show show basically about racism. It&#39;s uh actually quite interesting. The show was beautifully done, all the actors were great, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, of course. Uh but at intermission, I turned to my daughter. She actually kept, she she bit her tongue, and I said, So what did you what is your favorite part so far of the show? And she goes, uh the end. And I&#39;m like, listen, but I was gonna force this culture because I do believe that she will be a better person, having seen at least once in her life South Pacific, if she even if she goes around saying for the rest of her life, she hated it. So I don&#39;t know. Are do you plan to force feed culture like that to your kids even more? David: 7:55 I feel like I don&#39;t force culture the way you do, but I do I do force what I want them to absorb. But I do it a little more like, you know, I I like to play Broadway show tunes and sing, dance, and around the house. And I don&#39;t force them to do it, but I try to make sure that they are exposed, exposed to it enough to where at least they were like, Oh, my dad used to love musical theater, and I have some sort of knowledge of it. But I would, I&#39;m a way better parent than to drag my daughter to Good Speed Opera House to see a regional production of South Pacific. unknown: 8:26 Just kidding. Gavin: 8:27 But then I I did think to myself, why uh she turns to me and she says, Why aren&#39;t you taking my brother? And I&#39;m like, Oh, right. I mean, why am I not taking your brother? Uh well, he&#39;s so then it started a discussion of like he needs to go, and he&#39;s like, No, I&#39;ll go to the next one. You know, you know, shows because you know shows are things that drive me crazy. And so he refused to go, but he said he would go to the next one, which is some brand new musical about a miserable family in Scotland. And I&#39;m like, well, you should probably go see South Pacific, not a new show. But anyway, I will be forced feeding culture to both of my kids, and consequently, I will retain my status as being a better person than you. Good. As America&#39;s finest news source, I wanted to make sure that you knew about a couple of things that are worthy of discussion. First of all, did you know that Miss Maryland just a couple of weeks ago was crowned, and she is a trans queen. David: 9:27 Wow. I did not know that. I to be fair, I don&#39;t know anything about the like, you know, pageant community. Um, but that&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 9:35 Yeah, she&#39;s also the bill of the ball at the Washington, D.C. Pride Parade. So that&#39;s just all badass. Uh, I mean, how so many different discussions going on in different parts of this country, huh? I mean, good for you, Miss Maryland. But then also, did you know Disney beat DeSantis? Do you know about this? David: 9:53 Yes. I love I love this petty back and forth between Disney World and DeSantis. I, yeah, I fucking eating up all the drama. Gavin: 10:03 Well, can you explain to me then? Because apparently you are uh you are up on the gay news, but I don&#39;t entirely understand. I think Disney essentially beat DeSantis at his own game. Like he appointed this whole district council to the Disney World lands, and they were gonna basically pull a bunch of hijinks and not let Disney do anything. But essentially, they have now approved a plan that has a 50, 15-year, 60 quadrillion dollar plan to have a fifth new park. I&#39;m sure all the Disney freaks out there already know this. Uh, they also have to donate land to infrastructure and they have to give$10 million to affordable housing in Central Florida, which I think is actually very cool. But I&#39;m assuming, even though like the headline was not Disney beats DeSantis, but I feel like Disney won, right? David: 10:48 You think? But yes, but it was also one of those things where in the beginning, when this drama happened, it was like, you DeSantis, do you think that you&#39;re gonna think that Disney is going to even if you law if Disney picked up and left Florida, what&#39;s left is alligators and meth. End of list. Yes. There&#39;s nothing else left in Porto. So you were never gonna win this. And I listen, I don&#39;t I don&#39;t get it, but like, yeah. Gavin: 11:13 Also, a solid, shall we say, 69% of his voters are undoubtedly huge Disney freaks, too. So they&#39;re gonna be if it&#39;s gonna be you against Mickey, guess what, Ronnie D, you&#39;re going down. David: 11:26 Yeah. So those poor people want to buy a leather MM&#39;s jacket from the store. So you&#39;re not gonna get it. Gavin: 11:34 Listen, you can&#39;t stand in the way of capitalism or Disney. So get the fuck out of the way, DeSantis. You know what you can stand in the way of, though? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. Yes, our top three lists. This week, the topic was the top three careers you don&#39;t want your kids to do. So, being my list, I&#39;m gonna give you uh what my top three are, okay? Number three, I&#39;ve probably talked about my uh not love of basketball in the previously because I&#39;m tall and everybody told me in my life I was supposed to be a basketball player. So basically, I&#39;m desperate that my children do not become basketball players. I don&#39;t think I&#39;m too worried about it. In fact, I&#39;m not, but please don&#39;t be a basketball player so that I just have to go eat crow for the rest of my life, right? Number two, finance bros. Now, I want my kids to be rich. Six five, blue eyes. I want my kids to be rich so that they can take care of me and change my diapers when I&#39;m old. But please just don&#39;t be like a finance bro, because like I don&#39;t know. I would just be apologizing for them for the rest of my life, you know? And it&#39;s about me. David: 12:46 Yeah, but you&#39;d be apologizing uh for them on your phone. Well, there is that. Gavin: 12:51 Do you know what I mean? I don&#39;t know. I there are certain I listen, I have no standards or actual principles whatsoever. I can&#39;t wait for that to be taken out of context someday. But I I I I just I don&#39;t think that I can apologize for my kids being finance bros for the rest of their lives ever. So that&#39;s number two. Number one, don&#39;t be a clown. Like a literal clown. Please literal clown. Please clown around for your entire life, but just I don&#39;t know. I would, I would just, the world needs clowns, but just don&#39;t be my kids. David: 13:24 You know what it is? The the saddest part about being just period, period. Is is is is the is the is the walk on the parking lot from your from your Nissan Ultima into the tent with your with your unicycle over your shoulder. That that like that 100-yard walk is just the sadest. So much sad about it. Gavin: 13:44 So much sad about it. And you know what? If there are clowns out there, particularly gay clowns, particularly gay clowns who are fathers, we would love to hear from you and explain to us why your career path is one we should aspire to. But for right now, I&#39;m gonna stick to this. I I I kind of hope my kids are not clowns. David: 13:58 What about you, David? So, and number three, press agents. Because I feel like to be a good press agent, you&#39;ve got to just totally disregard the truth. And there&#39;s just something about like spinning everything, everything is spun, so you don&#39;t know what authenticity, man. I I hope my kids are at least authentic. Even if they&#39;re fucking assholes, I hope they&#39;re authentically assholes. Yeah, that&#39;s true. Finance. Number three, yeah as long as they&#39;re yeah, totally authentic. Yeah. Uh number three, press agent. Number two, deep sea tech diver. Have you seen the TikTok about the divers who were like in the oil pipeline under the water and got stuck? Oh...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David breaks new ground with his annoyance at iPads, Gavin enjoys classic theatre and forces it on his kid, we rank the top 3 careers you don&apos;t want your kids to have, and we are joined this week by Emmy-nominated and shirtless-journalist Spencer Macnaughton, who schools us in the way only a Canadian can, as we chat about media, his quest for childhood media literacy, and why he is starting his own company, Uncloseted Media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Is it hot as fuck where you are? I I hate it. I hate the heat. As a as a member of the stocky man community, I like it a good like 61 degrees anywhere I think. Gavin: 0:12 I thought 69 was the degree. David: 0:15 Yeah, no. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. David: 0:31 So I want to start this episode off with a very hot topic that all parents understand. That I am I don&#39;t think anybody has an answer to, but I just like, can we talk about iPads? Because they are both the source and solution to all of my fucking problems. Gavin: 0:52 David, David, like 2014 called. Just you. No, 2014 called and it wants its hot topics back. But please continue. David: 1:01 I I I I just I I guess maybe because my kids are just now growing into iPad time. Yeah, the person they are before an iPad is in front of them, and the person they are after or during the iPad, and then the third person they become when you take that iPad away, are it&#39;s the holy trinity of terror. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What is but but the thing is, is that either I have to every day say, no, we&#39;re not doing our iPad right now, cry, cry, bitch, moan, and do that for the rest of my life, or I give into it, and then when I take it away, they become psychopathic monsters. I&#39;m trying to find a balance here. And my question to you, elder, is is there one? Or is this just a fight I&#39;m gonna have until they leave the house? Gavin: 1:49 I mean, everybody listening to this, whether or not they have children, but especially those with chillins, are definitely rolling their eyes at this because this is the most cliche thing that you&#39;re going to battle for the next 10, 15 years. So just welcome to the party. That&#39;s all. I&#39;ve been trying to tell you, trying to tell you. But it is Gavin, you know I don&#39;t listen to you. It is the it&#39;s the real fucking deal, man. It&#39;s the real fucking deal. And it&#39;s all about like this is why I revert to, you know, sincerity and generosity and gratitude and all this shit. Because honestly, it is a constant, constant, constant battle. And even today, literally today, um July 1st, 2024, right? Anyway, even today July 3rd. July 3rd. Even today, I woke up thinking, oh God, what kind of battle are we gonna have today? My daughter, who had a camp that was a little later in the morning, my uh we&#39;re on two different schedules right now with two fucking camps, which is of course a complete nightmare. And that means one gets to lay in bed longer than the other, meaning my daughter gets to lay in bed longer. And she has um cell phone limits that I uh control like a fucking terrorist from my phone, and I had set a certain thing so that everything went dark after 40 minutes instead of letting her do this for 20 minutes, this 20 minutes, so she was screaming at me from her bed. And I said, Can you come down here and talk to me like an adult? So she called me because I had not turned off the phone from upstairs, screaming at me about how I had limited her um screen time universally or globally, instead of just like app by app. Listen, dude, it never ends. And it create, but it is this is why and you can&#39;t put an embargo on it because this is this is the world, right? David: 3:38 The world is on the iPad. I learning is on the right pad. I So it&#39;s like you gotta give a little bit of the drugs, yeah, but t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David breaks new ground with his annoyance at iPads, Gavin enjoys classic theatre and forces it on his kid, we rank the top 3 careers you don&apos;t want your kids to have, and we are joined this week by Emmy-nominated and shirtless-journalist Spencer Macnaughton, who schools us in the way only a Canadian can, as we chat about media, his quest for childhood media literacy, and why he is starting his own company, Uncloseted Media. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Is it hot as fuck where you are? I I hate it. I hate the heat. As a as a member of the stocky man community, I like it a good like 61 degrees anywhere I think. Gavin: 0:12 I thought 69 was the degree. David: 0:15 Yeah, no. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. David: 0:31 So I want to start this episode off with a very hot topic that all parents understand. That I am I don&#39;t think anyb]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with columnist Christopher Katis</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-columnist-christopher-katis/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jun 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we mill Fathers&apos; Day, David is a human sheild, for the musical theatre girls we rank our top 3 endings to Act 1, and this week we are joined by Salt Lake City Gay Dad columnist Christopher Katis who talks about us about his mission West, his Greek heritage, why his kids are still sleeping at 10:30am, and why Utah has so damned many gay dads. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I uh God. I hate myself. Me too. David: 0:04 I hate you, I mean. You. And this is gay tree. And this is gay tree. Oh, I said that first. So as we know, I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. My four-year-old is obviously potty trained. My two-year-old is flirting with the idea of potty training. So we have the little tiny potties, you know, that are just you know. Gavin: 0:37 Yes, no dignity whatsoever. But yes. David: 0:40 So we have one in our upstairs bathroom, kind of facing the other toilet. And so we were gonna do a group bath because we were playing in the um sandbox and both kids were dirty, and so we&#39;re like, two kids are gonna go in the bath, and they&#39;re like, Great. So we go upstairs, and my son, Emmett, sits on the toilet because he&#39;s like, I have to go potty. And then Hannah wants to sit on the other potty, and he is like, I don&#39;t want her to see me naked. And we&#39;re like, you&#39;re about to take a bath together. And he&#39;s like, No, no, no, no, please, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t, and so the only way to get them both to sit in the toilets that face each other was for me to take a bath towel and hang it between them with this little shame curtain, and I had to hold it there while they both used the bathroom. And then what what did they do right after that? They climbed into the bath together, they got naked together in the bathtub. They were already naked, but he was so terrified of him her seeing him naked, and then they got in the the bath and they were totally fine. I was like, Do you do you understand what naked means, babe? Gavin: 1:39 Don&#39;t think so. So there is something very visceral and human about you know, I never understood the psychology of like kids who don&#39;t want to poop because they&#39;re afraid they&#39;re, you know, like letting their body fall apart, kind of thing. And there it&#39;s an intimate thing to like be pooping in front of somebody else. I I guess. Well, I mean, when you&#39;re four and three, two, they don&#39;t care though. My kids, man, they would they I&#39;ve always been a big, big supporter of being able to poop in public, like your whole life is still easier. David: 2:13 Especially if you&#39;re gonna live in New York City, like uh every New York City person has some sort of poop in public story because there are not a lot of bathrooms and they all have those stories. Gavin: 2:23 You join the New York Sports Club just so you have a place every five or ten blocks. Um, but yeah, we luckily we never had any uh poop moments that um that uh that I my my kids had no problem doing it in front of each other, that&#39;s for sure. And um and it&#39;s kind of cute, you know? It&#39;s kind of cute. Yeah. Um I recently um had an experience where I was reminded of the elements of my kids that I hope they don&#39;t have, or like lessons that I&#39;m gonna instill in them so that they make life better for other people around them, which is we recently had our um elementary school graduation. I mean, don&#39;t get me started. Oh my god, I lost five pounds in tears. It was um it was, it was, it was a lot. There was a lot of layers, et cetera. And it was sweet, it was exactly what it was supposed to be, right? But I I was there early um because I just wanted to absorb it all. And they had a little slideshow going. And I sat next to somebody who was not my partner who just chatted my ear off about like, I don&#39;t know, they got the lawn mode recently. Hey, have you seen the stock market recently? I mean, literally was talking to me about the stock market. And I&#39;m like, can you read the room? I&#39;m my lip is quivering right now because I&#39;m just trying to hold it together. And um, it reminded me the day before that, I was trying to have one of my last moments waving to my kid as he drove away in the bus, right? And a neighbor stopped and was talking to me. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m trying to have a moment watching my kid for the next to last time waving to me. And she was just chatty, chatty, chatty, Kathy. And I&#39;m like, you are ruining the moment for me here right now. Please don&#39;t ruin the moment for me. And I pray that my kids will have judgment, social judgment calls to not ruin the moment. Read the room, people. David: 4:15 Read the room. For our listener out there, if you ever see Gavin on the street, do not approach him. Do not talk to him because he will ruin a moment he&#39;s having. I mean, it&#39;s uh it&#39;s a judgment call. And um But it is so like I I I how do I tell the story and not divulge too many things? I had a very big professional event happen in my life. And during the event, I was trying to do exactly that. I was trying to take it in, just really absorb it. And I had a person next to me talking about wow, isn&#39;t it great doing this professional event? Oh my god, isn&#39;t this such a great and like trying to like be a part of me? I was like, just leave me the fuck alone and let me just enjoy this. This is also because we&#39;re in our late 70s, and so we are basically we&#39;re basically starting to withdraw from society and starting to talk about the good old days. Yep. Um, speaking of the good old days, guess what? We missed Father&#39;s Day again on this fucking this stupid show that we&#39;ve decided to make that we never plan on, and sometimes we record ahead of time. Isn&#39;t it? Father&#39;s it makes us authentic, right? Gavin: 5:21 Like we&#39;re not, hey, listener out there. Listener out there, we&#39;re not manipulating anything. You can know that this is done on the fly and we are not thinking about things too much in advance to manipulate your emotions, that&#39;s for sure. Well, well, Gavin is maybe not. David: 5:37 Maybe Gavin is not preparing his top three lists the way he should be, but David is. But okay, so Father&#39;s Day was two weeks ago. I mean, we talked about this last year. Father&#39;s Day is weird for for gay dads. Not in, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s weird in a bad way. It&#39;s just like Mother&#39;s Day in Weird, where it&#39;s just like it doesn&#39;t exactly perfectly fit into your family. So you just have to make a decision on how you&#39;re gonna celebrate it. My husband and I don&#39;t. We don&#39;t give each other cards, yeah, we don&#39;t do something special. It&#39;s just a Sunday. But our our daycare um had a donuts with dad celebration. So all the dads got to come in. We got to eat donuts with our kids, we got to do, we got to watch them do show and tell, which was really fun. Um, so it was it was a fun little moment. But the actual day, I I I I don&#39;t, it&#39;s we can&#39;t switch up. What am I gonna get my husband breakfast in bed? Right, and then he gives me dinner in bed and we&#39;re just eating in bed all day. What is that? SPEAKER_00: 6:26 Like, yeah. David: 6:27 What was the daddy vibe like with the uh donuts with dad? It&#39;s hard because these are the dads that I have known since my kid was in like like six months old at this school. So, like there&#39;s yeah, I know the hot dad that I like stalk, he he wasn&#39;t there. And I was saying to Gavin before we started rehearing uh recording. Wait, what? I was trying to make this completely organic, like we hadn&#39;t already talked about this. But I was saying, I don&#39;t know if this guy is hot or just tall. There, there&#39;s some time you can get confused because he&#39;s like 6&#39;5, maybe even taller. And so you&#39;re like, oh, he&#39;s hot. Or you&#39;re like, is he hot or is he tall? Yeah, is he hot or is he just a pilot, right? Gavin: 7:07 Like, who knows? Right. Uh, but there weren&#39;t any new daddies who just showed up who you&#39;d never seen before, and you were like, ooh, new meat. David: 7:14 It&#39;s all the cool guys that I like or the ones that I hate and who hate me because I&#39;m gay. Gavin: 7:19 On that note. David: 7:21 Yeah. Let&#39;s talk about anti-gay. All right. All right. Gavin: 7:24 Oh, in the gay, in gay news, I do want to keep every as as we are America&#39;s um finest news source. I do want to ha um, I do want to be able to point out that there um a judge struck down anti-trans legislation in Florida, which of course DeSantis says, Oh, we&#39;re gonna appeal this shit, and you&#39;re like, oh, Jesus. But it is a step in the right direction. It&#39;s great. They will not, the judge said you cannot take away the um affirming um medications and treatments for children and frankly adults um who need those medications to be able to affirm their um their identity. So that was a positive thing. But then also, have you heard about the bullshit coming out of Colorado right now? In that the I thought you were the only bullshit out of Colorado. The GOP, the Republican Party of Colorado, has this bonkers leader who&#39;s trying to get Trump&#39;s um uh endorsement as he is actually running in a congressional primary right now. So he has pulled out all of the freaks, that&#39;s for sure. And he&#39;s making all of these anti-gay proclamations, including we should be burning pride flags in Colorado. And you just, thank God, I&#39;m just sitting back and laughing at it because right now Colorado is a place that&#39;s gonna be like, yeah, shut the fuck up, dude. But um, let&#39;s hope anyway. David: 8:38 It&#39;s so funny, too. Like you you think, okay, so we&#39;re gonna light pride flags on fire. Do you understand that most gay men were like flag girls and high school? They&#39;re gonna turn that shit into a fucking podcast. Gavin: 8:49 A full Broadway production. A Broadway music. Yeah, we&#39;re gonna make this a full movie. It&#39;s there&#39;s gonna be music made for us. Um, we&#39;re gonna this is gonna be, yeah, a thing for sure. David: 9:00 It&#39;s so funny how Florida, going back to Florida, I know I shit on Florida a lot in the show. And listen, I I grew up there, I have family there, I I know it intimately. But but what always blows my mind about the when there&#39;s some sort of political, like we&#39;re gonna, you know, anti-trans legislation or whatever. I&#39;m like, you guys, the ocean is starting to take over your state. Insurance company has pulled out, your housing market is going to crash soon. You guys have other things to think about. A condo building collapsed in. Remember that? Like, you have other shit to worry about. Do you really need to be spending your your time doing this when your state will be underwater in a hundred years? 100 if you want to go on and on. We&#39;re like nine. Gavin: 9:46 Yeah, I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s insane. All right. Well, what else you know what else is insane? What? Our top three list. Gate three marks. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:59 Oh, I&#39;m so proud of you. That is exactly the transition I would do. That was amazing, Gavin. So they can&#39;t they say you can&#39;t teach old dogs. Gavin: 10:06 So you know I have been obsessing over this for the last three and a half hours, minutes. Um, but tell us what this week&#39;s top three list is. David: 10:16 So the top three list is the top three endings of act one. So this is if you&#39;ve seen a musical right out right before intermission, what is that last song that just sends you into intermission? Now, structurally, it&#39;s usually the world changes, some there&#39;s some sort of big emotional change. Yeah, but what are your top three? So, for me, in number three, not a lot of people know this show, Bandstand. Have you seen Bandstand? Yes, but I definitely don&#39;t remember the end of act one. So, the end of act one, this is so each one of my uh top three is gonna be like for a different category. This one is musically. Musically, this song that ends act one, it&#39;s about them deciding that they&#39;re gonna go do this thing. And they, it is so filled with emotion, and it&#39;s incredible. But the way the song builds, and then the very last chord of all these guys singing, it is absolutely incredible. If you haven&#39;t heard it, it&#39;s called Right This Way from Banson. Gavin: 11:09 Okay. Um shall we link that in our non-existent show notes? David: 11:13 Yeah. Okay. Uh, and number two, you&#39;re gonna laugh at me, but I&#39;ll I&#39;ll I&#39;ll defend myself. So much better from legally blind. God damn it. You know that was my number one. That&#39;s it. Oh, that&#39;s okay. That&#39;s a we can have crossover. Gavin: 11:24 We can have crossover. I believe you. It kind of got um honorable mention as well. David: 11:28 But uh listen, I believe, I I I think it is good. Tremendous honor. Listen, but I think having crossover is great. So the if you don&#39;t know what it is, basically, if you know the movie, she goes to she she chases this guy to Harvard and she&#39;s like, he&#39;s the guy or whatever. And then she finds out she gets into this very prestigious thing, and then she realizes, oh, wait, maybe I&#39;m here not to chase this guy. Maybe I&#39;m here to do something better with my life. Maybe I&#39;m maybe I&#39;m gonna be a lawyer. Maybe there&#39;s this whole new world in front of me. And when you think about the end of Act One of the musical and how it should change the world, and your main character should be forever changed, and you should be leading into a new direction. So act two is all about something different. This perfectly sums that up. And on top of that, it is a fucking bopping song. It is a great song, it is fun to listen to, it&#39;s dynamic, it&#39;s exciting. Um, so much better from leading that. And number one, and this may be crossover too. Number one, I I will defend this to the end of the days. Defying gravity from Wicked. It is inarguably the best ending of act one. Not only do you have what I talked about with story, with music, with all that stuff, but visually, if that&#39;s not the most fucking compelling way to end an act, I don&#39;t know what it is. I have some um honorable mentions, but I won&#39;t go into them because I think you might have the money. Gavin: 12:45 So many honorable mentions. Uh, but yes, uh well, now I&#39;m gonna switch my order now, frankly, because to um just say yes, number three, Define Gravity, without a doubt. It is just it uh catapults you, it cannonballs you out of the show, and it can be taken out of kind of it&#39;s just fantastic and it&#39;s thrilling. You just have to you have to love it because it is just everything you want it to be. David: 13:05 Thrilling is a great word for it, it&#39;s thrilling to watch, yeah. Gavin: 13:07 And to to that end, though, I would say, speaking of thrilling, number two, um, for me, honestly, this is so cheesy. Oh my god, this is so cheesy. But I was actually thinking, I want to talk, not insider-y, uh too insider-y in this case. And so um uh oh my god, what the it do you hear the people saying from Les Miz? Is that the fucking title? No, it&#39;s one name. David: 13:32 But I&#39;m glad that this musical was so influential to you to even remember the name of the book. I&#39;m so straight. I&#39;m so straight. You&#39;re so straight. I&#39;m so straight. No, yes, that was one of my honorable. Gavin: 13:43 So I&#39;m just gonna make that my number two. Um, I do love um how then for number one, a show near and dear to my heart, my very first Broadway show that I was in, 42nd Street. I love how 42nd Street ends, where Dorothy Brock, they&#39;re just about to sing your arousing version of the song 42nd Street. She gets knocked over, breaks her ankle, etc., etc. And it&#39;s just an unconventional way uh Julian...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we mill Fathers&apos; Day, David is a human sheild, for the musical theatre girls we rank our top 3 endings to Act 1, and this week we are joined by Salt Lake City Gay Dad columnist Christopher Katis who talks about us about his mission West, ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we mill Fathers&apos; Day, David is a human sheild, for the musical theatre girls we rank our top 3 endings to Act 1, and this week we are joined by Salt Lake City Gay Dad columnist Christopher Katis who talks about us about his mission West, his Greek heritage, why his kids are still sleeping at 10:30am, and why Utah has so damned many gay dads. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I uh God. I hate myself. Me too. David: 0:04 I hate you, I mean. You. And this is gay tree. And this is gay tree. Oh, I said that first. So as we know, I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. My four-year-old is obviously potty trained. My two-year-old is flirting with the idea of potty training. So we have the little tiny potties, you know, that are just you know. Gavin: 0:37 Yes, no dignity whatsoever. But yes. David: 0:40 So we have one in our upstairs bathroom, kind of facing the other toilet. And so we were gonna do a group bath because we were playing in the um sandbox and both kids were dirty, and so we&#39;re like, two kids are gonna go in the bath, and they&#39;re like, Great. So we go upstairs, and my son, Emmett, sits on the toilet because he&#39;s like, I have to go potty. And then Hannah wants to sit on the other potty, and he is like, I don&#39;t want her to see me naked. And we&#39;re like, you&#39;re about to take a bath together. And he&#39;s like, No, no, no, no, please, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t, and so the only way to get them both to sit in the toilets that face each other was for me to take a bath towel and hang it between them with this little shame curtain, and I had to hold it there while they both used the bathroom. And then what what did they do right after that? They climbed into the bath together, they got naked together in the bathtub. They were already naked, but he was so terrified of him her seeing him naked, and then they got in the the bath and they were totally fine. I was like, Do you do you understand what naked means, babe? Gavin: 1:39 Don&#39;t think so. So there is something very visceral and human about you know, I never understood the psychology of like kids who don&#39;t want to poop because they&#39;re afraid they&#39;re, you know, like letting their body fall apart, kind of thing. And there it&#39;s an intimate thing to like be pooping in front of somebody else. I I guess. Well, I mean, when you&#39;re four and three, two, they don&#39;t care though. My kids, man, they would they I&#39;ve always been a big, big supporter of being able to poop in public, like your whole life is still easier. David: 2:13 Especially if you&#39;re gonna live in New York City, like uh every New York City person has some sort of poop in public story because there are not a lot of bathrooms and they all have those stories. Gavin: 2:23 You join the New York Sports Club just so you have a place every five or ten blocks. Um, but yeah, we luckily we never had any uh poop moments that um that uh that I my my kids had no problem doing it in front of each other, that&#39;s for sure. And um and it&#39;s kind of cute, you know? It&#39;s kind of cute. Yeah. Um I recently um had an experience where I was reminded of the elements of my kids that I hope they don&#39;t have, or like lessons that I&#39;m gonna instill in them so that they make life better for other people around them, which is we recently had our um elementary school graduation. I mean, don&#39;t get me started. Oh my god, I lost five pounds in tears. It was um it was, it was, it was a lot. There was a lot of layers, et cetera. And it was sweet, it was exactly what it was supposed to be, right? But I I was there early um because I just wanted to absorb it all. And they had a little slideshow going. And I sat next to somebody who was not my partner who just chatted my ear off about like, I don&#39;t know, they got the lawn mode recently. Hey, have you seen the stock market recently? I mean, literally was talking to me about the stock market. And I&#39;m like, can you read the room? I&#39;m my lip is quivering right now because I&#39;m just trying to hold it together. And um, it reminded me the day before that, I was trying to have one of my last moments waving to my kid as he drove away in the bus, right? And a neighbor stopped and was talking to me. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m trying to have a moment watching my kid for the next to last time waving to me. And she was just chatty, chatty, chatty, Kathy. And I&#39;m like, you are ruining the moment for me here right now. Please don&#39;t ruin the moment for me. And I pray that my kids will have judgment, social judgment calls to not ruin the moment. Read the room, people. David: 4:15 Read the room. For our listener out there, if you ever see Gavin on the street, do not approach him. Do not talk to him because he will ruin a moment he&#39;s having. I mean, it&#39;s uh it&#39;s a judgment call. And um But it is so like I I I how do I tell the story and not divulge too many things? I had a very big professional event happen in my life. And during the event, I was trying to do exactly that. I was trying to take it in, just really absorb it. And I had a person next to me talking about wow, isn&#39;t it great doing this professional event? Oh my god, isn&#39;t this such a great and like trying to like be a part of me? I was like, just leave me the fuck alone and let me just enjoy this. This is also because we&#39;re in our late 70s, and so we are basically we&#39;re basically starting to withdraw from society and starting to talk about the good old days. Yep. Um, speaking of the good old days, guess what? We missed Father&#39;s Day again on this fucking this stupid show that we&#39;ve decided to make that we never plan on, and sometimes we record ahead of time. Isn&#39;t it? Father&#39;s it makes us authentic, right? Gavin: 5:21 Like we&#39;re not, hey, listener out there. Listener out there, we&#39;re not manipulating anything. You can know that this is done on the fly and we are not thinking about things too much in advance to manipulate your emotions, that&#39;s for sure. Well, well, Gavin is maybe not. David: 5:37 Maybe Gavin is not preparing his top three lists the way he should be, but David is. But okay, so Father&#39;s Day was two weeks ago. I mean, we talked about this last year. Father&#39;s Day is weird for for gay dads. Not in, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s weird in a bad way. It&#39;s just like Mother&#39;s Day in Weird, where it&#39;s just like it doesn&#39;t exactly perfectly fit into your family. So you just have to make a decision on how you&#39;re gonna celebrate it. My husband and I don&#39;t. We don&#39;t give each other cards, yeah, we don&#39;t do something special. It&#39;s just a Sunday. But our our daycare um had a donuts with dad celebration. So all the dads got to come in. We got to eat donuts with our kids, we got to do, we got to watch them do show and tell, which was really fun. Um, so it was it was a fun little moment. But the actual day, I I I I don&#39;t, it&#39;s we can&#39;t switch up. What am I gonna get my husband breakfast in bed? Right, and then he gives me dinner in bed and we&#39;re just eating in bed all day. What is that? SPEAKER_00: 6:26 Like, yeah. David: 6:27 What was the daddy vibe like with the uh donuts with dad? It&#39;s hard because these are the dads that I have known since my kid was in like like six months old at this school. So, like there&#39;s yeah, I know the hot dad that I like stalk, he he wasn&#39;t there. And I was saying to Gavin before we started rehearing uh recording. Wait, what? I was trying to make this completely organic, like we hadn&#39;t already talked about this. But I was saying, I don&#39;t know if this guy is hot or just tall. There, there&#39;s some time you can get confused because he&#39;s like 6&#39;5, maybe even taller. And so you&#39;re like, oh, he&#39;s hot. Or you&#39;re like, is he hot or is he tall? Yeah, is he hot or is he just a pilot, right? Gavin: 7:07 Like, who knows? Right. Uh, but there weren&#39;t any new daddies who just showed up who you&#39;d never seen before, and you were like, ooh, new meat. David: 7:14 It&#39;s all the cool guys that I like or the ones that I hate and who hate me because I&#39;m gay. Gavin: 7:19 On that note. David: 7:21 Yeah. Let&#39;s talk about anti-gay. All right. All right. Gavin: 7:24 Oh, in the gay, in gay news, I do want to keep every as as we are America&#39;s um finest news source. I do want to ha um, I do want to be able to point out that there um a judge struck down anti-trans legislation in Florida, which of course DeSantis says, Oh, we&#39;re gonna appeal this shit, and you&#39;re like, oh, Jesus. But it is a step in the right direction. It&#39;s great. They will not, the judge said you cannot take away the um affirming um medications and treatments for children and frankly adults um who need those medications to be able to affirm their um their identity. So that was a positive thing. But then also, have you heard about the bullshit coming out of Colorado right now? In that the I thought you were the only bullshit out of Colorado. The GOP, the Republican Party of Colorado, has this bonkers leader who&#39;s trying to get Trump&#39;s um uh endorsement as he is actually running in a congressional primary right now. So he has pulled out all of the freaks, that&#39;s for sure. And he&#39;s making all of these anti-gay proclamations, including we should be burning pride flags in Colorado. And you just, thank God, I&#39;m just sitting back and laughing at it because right now Colorado is a place that&#39;s gonna be like, yeah, shut the fuck up, dude. But um, let&#39;s hope anyway. David: 8:38 It&#39;s so funny, too. Like you you think, okay, so we&#39;re gonna light pride flags on fire. Do you understand that most gay men were like flag girls and high school? They&#39;re gonna turn that shit into a fucking podcast. Gavin: 8:49 A full Broadway production. A Broadway music. Yeah, we&#39;re gonna make this a full movie. It&#39;s there&#39;s gonna be music made for us. Um, we&#39;re gonna this is gonna be, yeah, a thing for sure. David: 9:00 It&#39;s so funny how Florida, going back to Florida, I know I shit on Florida a lot in the show. And listen, I I grew up there, I have family there, I I know it intimately. But but what always blows my mind about the when there&#39;s some sort of political, like we&#39;re gonna, you know, anti-trans legislation or whatever. I&#39;m like, you guys, the ocean is starting to take over your state. Insurance company has pulled out, your housing market is going to crash soon. You guys have other things to think about. A condo building collapsed in. Remember that? Like, you have other shit to worry about. Do you really need to be spending your your time doing this when your state will be underwater in a hundred years? 100 if you want to go on and on. We&#39;re like nine. Gavin: 9:46 Yeah, I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s insane. All right. Well, what else you know what else is insane? What? Our top three list. Gate three marks. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:59 Oh, I&#39;m so proud of you. That is exactly the transition I would do. That was amazing, Gavin. So they can&#39;t they say you can&#39;t teach old dogs. Gavin: 10:06 So you know I have been obsessing over this for the last three and a half hours, minutes. Um, but tell us what this week&#39;s top three list is. David: 10:16 So the top three list is the top three endings of act one. So this is if you&#39;ve seen a musical right out right before intermission, what is that last song that just sends you into intermission? Now, structurally, it&#39;s usually the world changes, some there&#39;s some sort of big emotional change. Yeah, but what are your top three? So, for me, in number three, not a lot of people know this show, Bandstand. Have you seen Bandstand? Yes, but I definitely don&#39;t remember the end of act one. So, the end of act one, this is so each one of my uh top three is gonna be like for a different category. This one is musically. Musically, this song that ends act one, it&#39;s about them deciding that they&#39;re gonna go do this thing. And they, it is so filled with emotion, and it&#39;s incredible. But the way the song builds, and then the very last chord of all these guys singing, it is absolutely incredible. If you haven&#39;t heard it, it&#39;s called Right This Way from Banson. Gavin: 11:09 Okay. Um shall we link that in our non-existent show notes? David: 11:13 Yeah. Okay. Uh, and number two, you&#39;re gonna laugh at me, but I&#39;ll I&#39;ll I&#39;ll defend myself. So much better from legally blind. God damn it. You know that was my number one. That&#39;s it. Oh, that&#39;s okay. That&#39;s a we can have crossover. Gavin: 11:24 We can have crossover. I believe you. It kind of got um honorable mention as well. David: 11:28 But uh listen, I believe, I I I think it is good. Tremendous honor. Listen, but I think having crossover is great. So the if you don&#39;t know what it is, basically, if you know the movie, she goes to she she chases this guy to Harvard and she&#39;s like, he&#39;s the guy or whatever. And then she finds out she gets into this very prestigious thing, and then she realizes, oh, wait, maybe I&#39;m here not to chase this guy. Maybe I&#39;m here to do something better with my life. Maybe I&#39;m maybe I&#39;m gonna be a lawyer. Maybe there&#39;s this whole new world in front of me. And when you think about the end of Act One of the musical and how it should change the world, and your main character should be forever changed, and you should be leading into a new direction. So act two is all about something different. This perfectly sums that up. And on top of that, it is a fucking bopping song. It is a great song, it is fun to listen to, it&#39;s dynamic, it&#39;s exciting. Um, so much better from leading that. And number one, and this may be crossover too. Number one, I I will defend this to the end of the days. Defying gravity from Wicked. It is inarguably the best ending of act one. Not only do you have what I talked about with story, with music, with all that stuff, but visually, if that&#39;s not the most fucking compelling way to end an act, I don&#39;t know what it is. I have some um honorable mentions, but I won&#39;t go into them because I think you might have the money. Gavin: 12:45 So many honorable mentions. Uh, but yes, uh well, now I&#39;m gonna switch my order now, frankly, because to um just say yes, number three, Define Gravity, without a doubt. It is just it uh catapults you, it cannonballs you out of the show, and it can be taken out of kind of it&#39;s just fantastic and it&#39;s thrilling. You just have to you have to love it because it is just everything you want it to be. David: 13:05 Thrilling is a great word for it, it&#39;s thrilling to watch, yeah. Gavin: 13:07 And to to that end, though, I would say, speaking of thrilling, number two, um, for me, honestly, this is so cheesy. Oh my god, this is so cheesy. But I was actually thinking, I want to talk, not insider-y, uh too insider-y in this case. And so um uh oh my god, what the it do you hear the people saying from Les Miz? Is that the fucking title? No, it&#39;s one name. David: 13:32 But I&#39;m glad that this musical was so influential to you to even remember the name of the book. I&#39;m so straight. I&#39;m so straight. You&#39;re so straight. I&#39;m so straight. No, yes, that was one of my honorable. Gavin: 13:43 So I&#39;m just gonna make that my number two. Um, I do love um how then for number one, a show near and dear to my heart, my very first Broadway show that I was in, 42nd Street. I love how 42nd Street ends, where Dorothy Brock, they&#39;re just about to sing your arousing version of the song 42nd Street. She gets knocked over, breaks her ankle, etc., etc. And it&#39;s just an unconventional way uh Julian...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we mill Fathers&apos; Day, David is a human sheild, for the musical theatre girls we rank our top 3 endings to Act 1, and this week we are joined by Salt Lake City Gay Dad columnist Christopher Katis who talks about us about his mission West, his Greek heritage, why his kids are still sleeping at 10:30am, and why Utah has so damned many gay dads. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I uh God. I hate myself. Me too. David: 0:04 I hate you, I mean. You. And this is gay tree. And this is gay tree. Oh, I said that first. So as we know, I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. My four-year-old is obviously potty trained. My two-year-old is flirting with the idea of potty training. So we have the little tiny potties, you know, that are just you know. Gavin: 0:37 Yes, no dignity whatsoever. But yes. David: 0:40 So we have one in our upstairs bathroom, kind of facing the other toilet. And so we were gonna do a group bath because we were playing in the um sandbox and both kids were dirty, and so we&#39;re like, two kids are gonna go in the bath, and they&#39;re like, Great. So we go upstairs, and my son, Emmett, sits on the toilet because he&#39;s like, I have to go potty. And then Hannah wants to sit on the other potty, and he is like, I don&#39;t want her to see me naked. And we&#39;re like, you&#39;re about to take a bath together. And he&#39;s like, No, no, no, no, please, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t, and so the only way to get them both to sit in the toilets that face each other was for me to take a bath towel and hang it between them with this little shame curtain, and I had to hold it there while they both used the bathroom. And then what what did they do right after that? They climbed into the bath together, they got naked together in the bathtub. They were already naked, but he was so terrified of him her seeing him naked, and then they got in the the bath and they were totally fine. I was like, Do you do you understand what naked means, babe? Gavin: 1:39 Don&#39;t think so. So there is something very visceral and human about you know, I never understood the psychology of like kids who don&#39;t want to poop because they&#39;re afraid they&#39;re, you know, like letting their body fall apart, kind of thing. And there it&#39;s an intimate thing to like be pooping in front of somebody else. I I guess. Well, I mean, when you&#39;re four and three, two, they don&#39;t care though. My kids, man, they would they I&#39;ve always been a big, big supporter of being able to poop in public, like your whole life is still easier. David: 2:13 Especially if you&#39;re gonna live in New York City, like uh every New York City person has some sort of poop in public story because there are not a lot of bathrooms and they all have those stories. Gavin: 2:23 You join the New York Sports Club just so you have a place every five or ten blocks. Um, but yeah, we luckily we never had any uh poop moments that um that uh that I my my kids had no problem doing it in front of each other, that&#39;s for sure. And um and it&#39;s kind of cute, you know? It&#39;s kind of cute. Yeah. Um I recently um had an experience where I was reminded of the elements of my kids that I hope they don&#39;t have, or like lessons that I&#39;m gonna instill in them so that they make life better for other people around them, which is we recently had our um elementary school graduation. I mean, don&#39;t get me started. Oh my god, I lost five pounds in tears. It was um it was, it was, it was a lot. There was a lot of layers, et cetera. And it was sweet, it was exactly what it was supposed to be, right? But I I was there early um because I just wanted to absorb it all. And they had a little slideshow going. And I sat next to somebody who was not my partner who just chatted my ear off about like, I don&#39;t know, they got the lawn mode recently. Hey, h]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we mill Fathers&apos; Day, David is a human sheild, for the musical theatre girls we rank our top 3 endings to Act 1, and this week we are joined by Salt Lake City Gay Dad columnist Christopher Katis who talks about us about his mission West, his Greek heritage, why his kids are still sleeping at 10:30am, and why Utah has so damned many gay dads. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I uh God. I hate myself. Me too. David: 0:04 I hate you, I mean. You. And this is gay tree. And this is gay tree. Oh, I said that first. So as we know, I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. My four-year-old is obviously potty trained. My two-year-old is flirting with the idea of potty training. So we have the little tiny potties, you know, that are just you know. Gavin: 0:37 Yes, no dignity whatsoever. But yes. David: 0:40 So we have one in our upstairs bathroom, kind of f]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Hollywood icon David Marshall Grant</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-hollywood-icon-david-marshall-grant/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Episode 69! We celebrate by reviewing our year of lasts, David has lots of unique and exciting things to say like &#34;pilots are hot,&#34; we rank the top 3 big things, and this week we are joined by actor, writer, producer, and gay dad David Marshall Grant who takes us through his journey in Hollywood as well as in parenting. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Are you recording? 69, dude. And this is Gage Rearks. David: 0:08 Wait, that was it? Why not? I want everyone out there to to know that Gavin said, Are you recording? Because I have this really funny cold open. And then I said, Yep, we&#39;re recording. And we took a pause. I looked right into his eyes, and he just said, That. That is our cold open. Gavin: 0:26 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:42 So Gabon, guess where I just came back from? Gavin: 0:46 Like two hours ago. The the m airport Airport Marriott. No. I came back from. Dairy Queen? Oh, wait, I don&#39;t get to keep guessing. No, you can&#39;t. David: 0:57 No, that&#39;s funnier. Go ahead. Gavin: 1:00 I get him funny. David: 1:02 I understand jokes now. Go ahead. Dairy Queen. No. And then rule of threes. What&#39;s the third one? It should be funny. Gavin: 1:08 Yeah, I know. It should be funnier, but I was just gonna say Wendy&#39;s because I think that&#39;s the most real uh probably the most realistic guess. David: 1:16 100%. I met Wendy&#39;s all the time. In fact, I was having lunch with friends today and trying to get them to download the Wendy&#39;s app. No joke. I am making Wendy&#39;s more money. You had a friend date at Wendy&#39;s. Well, let me tell you why. So where I just came back from was pre-K graduation. Gavin: 1:34 Oh my God. So many phones out, so many almost tears, a hot, sweaty room, parents thinking this is the end all, be all. There is so much to unpack in a preschool graduation. David: 1:48 So I am, as we know, Mr. Coldhearted, you know, you know, oil through my veins, I hate my children kind of guy. Um literally the second the music started, I went, oh no, like immediately, because yeah, they the kids are like behind a screen, and then they start playing this like soft piano music, and then these four-year-olds come wandering in in full caps and gowns. So cute, yes, oh my god. It was, I gotta say, for somebody with such a cold, dead black heart as mine, I fucking was beaming the whole time. And they were just, they just came out and barely did anything. Gavin: 2:26 Yeah. There, it&#39;s so over the top. None of it is necessary. The caps and gowns that all cost$35 that hopefully some other parent donated to the entire classroom, or they recycle and they&#39;re all full of bed bugs and lice, but it&#39;s so fucking cute. It&#39;s so fucking fantastic. David: 2:43 It&#39;s really cute. And they, you know, they did, you know, a bunch of numbers that were kind of mediocre and terrible. Yeah. And then they did a whole like diploma ceremony where like the kids walk up or whatever. It was so fucking adorable. And then the best part really is, and this is a little bit gave and lodge, so prepare yourselves, everyone, out there. But afterwards, you know, they just kind of have like a little party. It&#39;s just cupcakes and pizza or whatever. But you know, the kids are running around in circles. Every parent knows me. I know every parent. And it was just this moment of like, man, this kind of community is really fucking great. A community of parents that you like and trust that all know you. You&#39;ve known each other for years, you feel safe in this room. And, you know, it&#39;s all going away when our kids go to kindergarten because none of the kids in my kids&#39; class is going to his kindergarten. So it was just kind of a sad moment because I was like, man, this is hard to have. It&#39;s hard to find a place like this. Gavin: 3:37 So all we do is complain complain about our asshole kids, of course. But these are such fantastic times. And you meet these communities of people. I mean, it&#39;s hard to make friends as an adult, but when you&#39;re at schools and when you have your kids, you can make new friends. And it&#39;s a really, it&#39;s a it&#39;s it&#39;s a magical time, um, even though all we do is complain about how tired we are all the time. So yeah, it&#39;s a special rite of passage. David: 4:05 Yeah, it was really cute. And so, but what&#39;s so fucking weird about it is that we have this big graduation ceremony. He gets to stay home, caps and gowns, big hugs, his teachers crying everything. And guess what happens on Monday? They go back to school, they go, they go back to the same class with the same daycare. It&#39;s daycare, it&#39;s pre-K daycare. So he&#39;s gonna be in this daycare for the next three months until he goes to kindergarten. So um, it&#39;s a little bit silly, but it was very cute. Gavin: 4:36 Talk about much ado about nothing, that is for sure. Well, you know what, on the other end, on the other spectrum, um, I&#39;ll try not to dwell too much. And how do I make it light and happy? My year of lasts, as I&#39;ve been saying. And guess where I just came from today? Where? Wendy&#39;s. You&#39;re not gonna get okay, fine. Absolutely not Wendy&#39;s. I&#39;ve never been, I&#39;ve never been a chocolate frosty fan. I don&#39;t understand why they can&#39;t have vanilla or strawberry and their and their French fries are not anywhere near as good as McDonald&#39;s. So I don&#39;t understand what is the point of going to Wendy&#39;s ever. David: 5:07 If my points balance drops because of what you just said, I&#39;m gonna be pissed. If Wendy&#39;s is like seeding me points because I mention them so often, and then they hear you bad mouthing them, I&#39;m gonna be real pissed. Gavin: 5:19 But you know what? Eddie Press is good press. So you&#39;re welcome, Wendy&#39;s. This episode of Gatriarch&#39;s brought to you by Wendy&#39;s. No, I came from field day just earlier. In fact, I am sweaty and and smelly right now. But um, it was my last field day. It was my last field day, and I did just sit in that moment and try to lap it all up. And I was leading one of the um one of the activities that basically all has to do with sponges being either thrown at each other or passed overheads or whatever, and all the kids are getting just um wet the entire time. And in one rendition of this game that I was uh operating called Pass the Bacon, the kids have to like do this relay race with a big old wet sponge. And then afterwards, after they&#39;ve competed, they&#39;re supposed to shake hands because, you know, God forbid we have any heart hurt feelings, obviously, in a competition. And I was actually telling a line of um little kids, hey, you don&#39;t need to squeeze the sponge over your head. You need to hurry up and pass it along because you know, if you&#39;re gonna be able to win, you have to like pass the sponge faster. And a little girl goes, but it&#39;s not as fun that way. David: 6:25 And I thought I&#39;m gave in lodge taking the fun out of school day for elementary school teachers, just type A competition being slapped in the face. Gavin: 6:36 And I see ball coach extraordinaire, just that little adorable cherubic girl who told me, but it&#39;s not fun that way. I think you for filth. She read you for filth. And you know what? I don&#39;t think I have ever, ever, ever I actually avoid talking about my partner too much on here because he is um uh a very private person. Uh, but there was a moment where, so as I said, the kids have to shake hands after their mini competition, right? And two of the kids wouldn&#39;t do it. So I was like, that&#39;s cool. I&#39;ll wait for you because you&#39;re gonna shake hands. And I was saying it eyes wide and smile on my face, but I was like, oh no, you little shit. I&#39;m waiting for you to uh to shake your hands. And my partner was in the background waving at me, giving me our international family sign for stop being an asshole. David: 7:31 I love that you have to have that sign in your family. Gavin: 7:34 Yeah. Oh, absolutely. We have an international sign for stop being an asshole. And uh and I appreciated that, but I was like, oh no, no, no, I&#39;m not being an asshole. I&#39;m a teacher in this. David: 7:43 I&#39;m throwing down with a fifth grader, so you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 7:49 Yes, I was listening I do it with four-year-olds. David: 7:52 You know, I I I I th I have beef with four-year-olds, so I totally get it. Gavin: 7:56 Yep, yep. Well, I um I I had my beef with this third or fourth grade boy. He relented and he shook hands with his little, you know, competition partner. And I feel okay with that. And I don&#39;t think it was assholishness at all. You know what I&#39;m really okay with? Tell me. David: 8:14 Hot pilots. Now, is this is this a thing that I&#39;m just realizing or is this new? Are pilots just hot? Gavin: 8:24 I would say so. I mean, it&#39;s uniform, it&#39;s the aviators, it&#39;s the control that yeah, they&#39;re in control and your life is in their hands. Surely you&#39;ve gone down hot pilot TikTok. David: 8:37 I have not, but uh, my my FYP is such a fucking mess. It is just hot dudes with their dicks out. But I I was flying for work uh last month, and I was just like all of a sudden, I was like, every pilot in this airport, every pilot I&#39;ve flown with today is so hot. And I was getting on this. I there this this job I do is in this small town. And so I have to fly to a big city and then take a small plane from this big city to a small city. Every time I go there, there&#39;s a trainee on the flight, either uh a flight attendant or a pilot, because I notice that they&#39;re like looking over at books, and then there&#39;s this one person saying, Okay, make sure when you do the announcement, do this. And they must do that on these small 45-minute flights or whatever. Gavin: 9:16 So that they they can get more training in probably during one day. They can probably get five flights in rather than they&#39;re not gonna put a trainee. David: 9:22 And if they crash a tiny plane in middle of Wisconsin, like who cares, right? Gavin: 9:26 But it was the NBC Nightly News will be able to be like, but it was a trainee. David: 9:31 So yeah, it was just a trainee, and it was like eight people in the plane. But I was walking up to my flight and I was expecting to see these trainees because I do this job every year and I always see these trainees. And there was clearly a trainee pilot, and he was like 25, and he had these huge arms. He was like bursting out of his shirt, and I was like, Yes, I&#39;m gonna fuck this pilot on this flight. I don&#39;t care if we crash this plane. I I was so shocked at how hot he was, but also I was like, I wonder if it&#39;s just like, like we said, like you in a in a position of power in a uniform that just you automatically get two hot points attached to Bill or whatever. Absolutely. So anyway, there&#39;s no point to the story other than pilots are hot and I enjoy staring at them. Gavin: 10:14 What is the town that you have to fly to in Wisconsin? Appleton. You know what? So I was in Denver a couple of weeks, months, years ago. I don&#39;t know. And I&#39;m I feel I love maps. I love, I have always loved maps, atlases. I could stare at them. I&#39;m curious about them. When I&#39;m on a flight, what a unique thing to say. This is definitely we should make this like another. This is this is an extra because we are boring our our um listener by listening to this. But um, oh yeah, I God, I love staring at maps, and I even like looking at the maps at the the airline routes at the back of the magazines. I mean, almost every single time I will look and I&#39;ll be like, hmm, where&#39;s American Airlines? What&#39;s their hub? What are their destinations? Whatever. So I was in Denver the other day, and I mean, I really I know all the capitals. I you quiz me on well, not international capitals necessarily, but I know geography, I know the globe. What&#39;s the capital of Vermont? Montpelier. Oh, damn it. That&#39;s always the one I try to get. Um so I&#39;m walking down the airport and I see Appleton at DIA in Denver, and I&#39;m like, the fuck is Appleton? Is that like Appleby&#39;s stepbrother? Like, what? And I I&#39;m like, they have direct flights from Denver to Apple. Where&#39;s Appleton? I was incensed that Appleton is a place that I would be a destination for United Airlines from Denver, and it&#39;s I had never heard of it. David: 11:40 It is lovely. It&#39;s a college town mostly. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s small, right? But man, it is a lovely. I I love my time there. It is so fantastic. Gavin: 11:50 Okay, so anyway, back to gay parenting shit. How about that? Um, I have a dad hack of the week for you, okay? Oh. So going on to Reddit, because basically my brain is a sieve and I can&#39;t remember any hacks anymore. Um, there is uh uh an infinite amount of hacks out there, right? And they&#39;re all pretty cliche, but this one really struck me. I&#39;m just gonna read this guy&#39;s posting, okay? My three-year-old had been waking up at 2 a.m. and coming into our room constantly. She always comes to me, so I would either have to let her climb in our bed or lose quality sleep or walk her back to her room and then struggle to get back to sleep myself. About a month ago, we bought the blow-up bed called a hic-pop inflatable toddler bed. And we leave it on the floor with a pillow and blanket next to our bed. So now when she wanders into our room, she goes right back to sleep on her air mattress. I usually have no idea she&#39;s there until I get up in the morning. That&#39;s kind of genius, huh? David: 12:44 Yeah. I mean, you could also lock the door from the outside. Gavin: 12:48 You could put it like a, you know, like that sounds monstrous, actually. David: 12:51 And then it does sound monstrous. Gavin: 12:53 Then you&#39;re gonna be woken up by kicking and screaming from the outside. By the firefighter who said your child is dead because you locked the door from the outside. David: 13:00 But no, I I think that&#39;s that&#39;s interesting. We&#39;ve luckily never had a problem with like wandering into our room, but I can see how that would be a really good solution to that. Yeah. And you keep moving the bed further and further away from your bed. Gavin: 13:11 Um, halfway down the hallway. Exactly. Well, so this episode brought to you by the hiccup inflatable toddler bed and Wendy&#39;s. You&#39;re welcome. Um, and how about some gay news too? Do you want to hear some good stuff? Guess what? I only have positive things to tell you. Yay! Because often Let me guess, a church hates us. Great. Well, that&#39;s that is a badge of honor, and we can be happy about that. No, um, just the other night, Adele had a concert in who knows, somewhere, and Adele is, of course, fabulous. And apparently she said happy pride to everybody. Everybody screamed, and from the front few rows, she heard somebody say pride sucks. And she went, Did you just come to my concert and say pride sucks? You can get the fuck out of here. You&#39;re welcome. I know. David: 13:56 I love your adult voice. Gavin: 13:57 You shut up. David: 13:57 I love your adult voice so much. Gavin: 14:00 Well, God bless Adele for calling out hecklers, you know? David: 14:04 I mean, A number one, the content of your message is stupid and flawed and hateful, and that that is right. But B number two, it&#39;s like you&#39;re you&#39;re in our house, bitch. At what point did you think coming to an Adele content was some sort of like NRA meeting? Like, what are you talking about? Gavin: 14:20 Pride sucks, also. Couldn&#39;t you think of something more clever than that? But yeah, Adele, I mean, she&#39;s like full gay icon, isn&#39;t she? She&#39;s gay, absolutely gay gay icon stylus. I remember years and years ago she took her son in an Elsa dress to Disney World or Disneyland. And it was it...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Episode 69! We celebrate by reviewing our year of lasts, David has lots of unique and exciting things to say like &#34;pilots are hot,&#34; we rank the top 3 big things, and this week we are joined by actor, writer, producer, and gay dad David Marshall G]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Episode 69! We celebrate by reviewing our year of lasts, David has lots of unique and exciting things to say like &#34;pilots are hot,&#34; we rank the top 3 big things, and this week we are joined by actor, writer, producer, and gay dad David Marshall Grant who takes us through his journey in Hollywood as well as in parenting. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Are you recording? 69, dude. And this is Gage Rearks. David: 0:08 Wait, that was it? Why not? I want everyone out there to to know that Gavin said, Are you recording? Because I have this really funny cold open. And then I said, Yep, we&#39;re recording. And we took a pause. I looked right into his eyes, and he just said, That. That is our cold open. Gavin: 0:26 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:42 So Gabon, guess where I just came back from? Gavin: 0:46 Like two hours ago. The the m airport Airport Marriott. No. I came back from. Dairy Queen? Oh, wait, I don&#39;t get to keep guessing. No, you can&#39;t. David: 0:57 No, that&#39;s funnier. Go ahead. Gavin: 1:00 I get him funny. David: 1:02 I understand jokes now. Go ahead. Dairy Queen. No. And then rule of threes. What&#39;s the third one? It should be funny. Gavin: 1:08 Yeah, I know. It should be funnier, but I was just gonna say Wendy&#39;s because I think that&#39;s the most real uh probably the most realistic guess. David: 1:16 100%. I met Wendy&#39;s all the time. In fact, I was having lunch with friends today and trying to get them to download the Wendy&#39;s app. No joke. I am making Wendy&#39;s more money. You had a friend date at Wendy&#39;s. Well, let me tell you why. So where I just came back from was pre-K graduation. Gavin: 1:34 Oh my God. So many phones out, so many almost tears, a hot, sweaty room, parents thinking this is the end all, be all. There is so much to unpack in a preschool graduation. David: 1:48 So I am, as we know, Mr. Coldhearted, you know, you know, oil through my veins, I hate my children kind of guy. Um literally the second the music started, I went, oh no, like immediately, because yeah, they the kids are like behind a screen, and then they start playing this like soft piano music, and then these four-year-olds come wandering in in full caps and gowns. So cute, yes, oh my god. It was, I gotta say, for somebody with such a cold, dead black heart as mine, I fucking was beaming the whole time. And they were just, they just came out and barely did anything. Gavin: 2:26 Yeah. There, it&#39;s so over the top. None of it is necessary. The caps and gowns that all cost$35 that hopefully some other parent donated to the entire classroom, or they recycle and they&#39;re all full of bed bugs and lice, but it&#39;s so fucking cute. It&#39;s so fucking fantastic. David: 2:43 It&#39;s really cute. And they, you know, they did, you know, a bunch of numbers that were kind of mediocre and terrible. Yeah. And then they did a whole like diploma ceremony where like the kids walk up or whatever. It was so fucking adorable. And then the best part really is, and this is a little bit gave and lodge, so prepare yourselves, everyone, out there. But afterwards, you know, they just kind of have like a little party. It&#39;s just cupcakes and pizza or whatever. But you know, the kids are running around in circles. Every parent knows me. I know every parent. And it was just this moment of like, man, this kind of community is really fucking great. A community of parents that you like and trust that all know you. You&#39;ve known each other for years, you feel safe in this room. And, you know, it&#39;s all going away when our kids go to kindergarten because none of the kids in my kids&#39; class is going to his kindergarten. So it was just kind of a sad moment because I was like, man, this is hard to have. It&#39;s hard to find a place like this. Gavin: 3:37 So all we do is complain complain about our asshole kids, of course. But these are such fantastic times. And you meet these communities of people. I mean, it&#39;s hard to make friends as an adult, but when you&#39;re at schools and when you have your kids, you can make new friends. And it&#39;s a really, it&#39;s a it&#39;s it&#39;s a magical time, um, even though all we do is complain about how tired we are all the time. So yeah, it&#39;s a special rite of passage. David: 4:05 Yeah, it was really cute. And so, but what&#39;s so fucking weird about it is that we have this big graduation ceremony. He gets to stay home, caps and gowns, big hugs, his teachers crying everything. And guess what happens on Monday? They go back to school, they go, they go back to the same class with the same daycare. It&#39;s daycare, it&#39;s pre-K daycare. So he&#39;s gonna be in this daycare for the next three months until he goes to kindergarten. So um, it&#39;s a little bit silly, but it was very cute. Gavin: 4:36 Talk about much ado about nothing, that is for sure. Well, you know what, on the other end, on the other spectrum, um, I&#39;ll try not to dwell too much. And how do I make it light and happy? My year of lasts, as I&#39;ve been saying. And guess where I just came from today? Where? Wendy&#39;s. You&#39;re not gonna get okay, fine. Absolutely not Wendy&#39;s. I&#39;ve never been, I&#39;ve never been a chocolate frosty fan. I don&#39;t understand why they can&#39;t have vanilla or strawberry and their and their French fries are not anywhere near as good as McDonald&#39;s. So I don&#39;t understand what is the point of going to Wendy&#39;s ever. David: 5:07 If my points balance drops because of what you just said, I&#39;m gonna be pissed. If Wendy&#39;s is like seeding me points because I mention them so often, and then they hear you bad mouthing them, I&#39;m gonna be real pissed. Gavin: 5:19 But you know what? Eddie Press is good press. So you&#39;re welcome, Wendy&#39;s. This episode of Gatriarch&#39;s brought to you by Wendy&#39;s. No, I came from field day just earlier. In fact, I am sweaty and and smelly right now. But um, it was my last field day. It was my last field day, and I did just sit in that moment and try to lap it all up. And I was leading one of the um one of the activities that basically all has to do with sponges being either thrown at each other or passed overheads or whatever, and all the kids are getting just um wet the entire time. And in one rendition of this game that I was uh operating called Pass the Bacon, the kids have to like do this relay race with a big old wet sponge. And then afterwards, after they&#39;ve competed, they&#39;re supposed to shake hands because, you know, God forbid we have any heart hurt feelings, obviously, in a competition. And I was actually telling a line of um little kids, hey, you don&#39;t need to squeeze the sponge over your head. You need to hurry up and pass it along because you know, if you&#39;re gonna be able to win, you have to like pass the sponge faster. And a little girl goes, but it&#39;s not as fun that way. David: 6:25 And I thought I&#39;m gave in lodge taking the fun out of school day for elementary school teachers, just type A competition being slapped in the face. Gavin: 6:36 And I see ball coach extraordinaire, just that little adorable cherubic girl who told me, but it&#39;s not fun that way. I think you for filth. She read you for filth. And you know what? I don&#39;t think I have ever, ever, ever I actually avoid talking about my partner too much on here because he is um uh a very private person. Uh, but there was a moment where, so as I said, the kids have to shake hands after their mini competition, right? And two of the kids wouldn&#39;t do it. So I was like, that&#39;s cool. I&#39;ll wait for you because you&#39;re gonna shake hands. And I was saying it eyes wide and smile on my face, but I was like, oh no, you little shit. I&#39;m waiting for you to uh to shake your hands. And my partner was in the background waving at me, giving me our international family sign for stop being an asshole. David: 7:31 I love that you have to have that sign in your family. Gavin: 7:34 Yeah. Oh, absolutely. We have an international sign for stop being an asshole. And uh and I appreciated that, but I was like, oh no, no, no, I&#39;m not being an asshole. I&#39;m a teacher in this. David: 7:43 I&#39;m throwing down with a fifth grader, so you&#39;re welcome. Gavin: 7:49 Yes, I was listening I do it with four-year-olds. David: 7:52 You know, I I I I th I have beef with four-year-olds, so I totally get it. Gavin: 7:56 Yep, yep. Well, I um I I had my beef with this third or fourth grade boy. He relented and he shook hands with his little, you know, competition partner. And I feel okay with that. And I don&#39;t think it was assholishness at all. You know what I&#39;m really okay with? Tell me. David: 8:14 Hot pilots. Now, is this is this a thing that I&#39;m just realizing or is this new? Are pilots just hot? Gavin: 8:24 I would say so. I mean, it&#39;s uniform, it&#39;s the aviators, it&#39;s the control that yeah, they&#39;re in control and your life is in their hands. Surely you&#39;ve gone down hot pilot TikTok. David: 8:37 I have not, but uh, my my FYP is such a fucking mess. It is just hot dudes with their dicks out. But I I was flying for work uh last month, and I was just like all of a sudden, I was like, every pilot in this airport, every pilot I&#39;ve flown with today is so hot. And I was getting on this. I there this this job I do is in this small town. And so I have to fly to a big city and then take a small plane from this big city to a small city. Every time I go there, there&#39;s a trainee on the flight, either uh a flight attendant or a pilot, because I notice that they&#39;re like looking over at books, and then there&#39;s this one person saying, Okay, make sure when you do the announcement, do this. And they must do that on these small 45-minute flights or whatever. Gavin: 9:16 So that they they can get more training in probably during one day. They can probably get five flights in rather than they&#39;re not gonna put a trainee. David: 9:22 And if they crash a tiny plane in middle of Wisconsin, like who cares, right? Gavin: 9:26 But it was the NBC Nightly News will be able to be like, but it was a trainee. David: 9:31 So yeah, it was just a trainee, and it was like eight people in the plane. But I was walking up to my flight and I was expecting to see these trainees because I do this job every year and I always see these trainees. And there was clearly a trainee pilot, and he was like 25, and he had these huge arms. He was like bursting out of his shirt, and I was like, Yes, I&#39;m gonna fuck this pilot on this flight. I don&#39;t care if we crash this plane. I I was so shocked at how hot he was, but also I was like, I wonder if it&#39;s just like, like we said, like you in a in a position of power in a uniform that just you automatically get two hot points attached to Bill or whatever. Absolutely. So anyway, there&#39;s no point to the story other than pilots are hot and I enjoy staring at them. Gavin: 10:14 What is the town that you have to fly to in Wisconsin? Appleton. You know what? So I was in Denver a couple of weeks, months, years ago. I don&#39;t know. And I&#39;m I feel I love maps. I love, I have always loved maps, atlases. I could stare at them. I&#39;m curious about them. When I&#39;m on a flight, what a unique thing to say. This is definitely we should make this like another. This is this is an extra because we are boring our our um listener by listening to this. But um, oh yeah, I God, I love staring at maps, and I even like looking at the maps at the the airline routes at the back of the magazines. I mean, almost every single time I will look and I&#39;ll be like, hmm, where&#39;s American Airlines? What&#39;s their hub? What are their destinations? Whatever. So I was in Denver the other day, and I mean, I really I know all the capitals. I you quiz me on well, not international capitals necessarily, but I know geography, I know the globe. What&#39;s the capital of Vermont? Montpelier. Oh, damn it. That&#39;s always the one I try to get. Um so I&#39;m walking down the airport and I see Appleton at DIA in Denver, and I&#39;m like, the fuck is Appleton? Is that like Appleby&#39;s stepbrother? Like, what? And I I&#39;m like, they have direct flights from Denver to Apple. Where&#39;s Appleton? I was incensed that Appleton is a place that I would be a destination for United Airlines from Denver, and it&#39;s I had never heard of it. David: 11:40 It is lovely. It&#39;s a college town mostly. It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s small, right? But man, it is a lovely. I I love my time there. It is so fantastic. Gavin: 11:50 Okay, so anyway, back to gay parenting shit. How about that? Um, I have a dad hack of the week for you, okay? Oh. So going on to Reddit, because basically my brain is a sieve and I can&#39;t remember any hacks anymore. Um, there is uh uh an infinite amount of hacks out there, right? And they&#39;re all pretty cliche, but this one really struck me. I&#39;m just gonna read this guy&#39;s posting, okay? My three-year-old had been waking up at 2 a.m. and coming into our room constantly. She always comes to me, so I would either have to let her climb in our bed or lose quality sleep or walk her back to her room and then struggle to get back to sleep myself. About a month ago, we bought the blow-up bed called a hic-pop inflatable toddler bed. And we leave it on the floor with a pillow and blanket next to our bed. So now when she wanders into our room, she goes right back to sleep on her air mattress. I usually have no idea she&#39;s there until I get up in the morning. That&#39;s kind of genius, huh? David: 12:44 Yeah. I mean, you could also lock the door from the outside. Gavin: 12:48 You could put it like a, you know, like that sounds monstrous, actually. David: 12:51 And then it does sound monstrous. Gavin: 12:53 Then you&#39;re gonna be woken up by kicking and screaming from the outside. By the firefighter who said your child is dead because you locked the door from the outside. David: 13:00 But no, I I think that&#39;s that&#39;s interesting. We&#39;ve luckily never had a problem with like wandering into our room, but I can see how that would be a really good solution to that. Yeah. And you keep moving the bed further and further away from your bed. Gavin: 13:11 Um, halfway down the hallway. Exactly. Well, so this episode brought to you by the hiccup inflatable toddler bed and Wendy&#39;s. You&#39;re welcome. Um, and how about some gay news too? Do you want to hear some good stuff? Guess what? I only have positive things to tell you. Yay! Because often Let me guess, a church hates us. Great. Well, that&#39;s that is a badge of honor, and we can be happy about that. No, um, just the other night, Adele had a concert in who knows, somewhere, and Adele is, of course, fabulous. And apparently she said happy pride to everybody. Everybody screamed, and from the front few rows, she heard somebody say pride sucks. And she went, Did you just come to my concert and say pride sucks? You can get the fuck out of here. You&#39;re welcome. I know. David: 13:56 I love your adult voice. Gavin: 13:57 You shut up. David: 13:57 I love your adult voice so much. Gavin: 14:00 Well, God bless Adele for calling out hecklers, you know? David: 14:04 I mean, A number one, the content of your message is stupid and flawed and hateful, and that that is right. But B number two, it&#39;s like you&#39;re you&#39;re in our house, bitch. At what point did you think coming to an Adele content was some sort of like NRA meeting? Like, what are you talking about? Gavin: 14:20 Pride sucks, also. Couldn&#39;t you think of something more clever than that? But yeah, Adele, I mean, she&#39;s like full gay icon, isn&#39;t she? She&#39;s gay, absolutely gay gay icon stylus. I remember years and years ago she took her son in an Elsa dress to Disney World or Disneyland. And it was it...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Episode 69! We celebrate by reviewing our year of lasts, David has lots of unique and exciting things to say like &#34;pilots are hot,&#34; we rank the top 3 big things, and this week we are joined by actor, writer, producer, and gay dad David Marshall Grant who takes us through his journey in Hollywood as well as in parenting. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Are you recording? 69, dude. And this is Gage Rearks. David: 0:08 Wait, that was it? Why not? I want everyone out there to to know that Gavin said, Are you recording? Because I have this really funny cold open. And then I said, Yep, we&#39;re recording. And we took a pause. I looked right into his eyes, and he just said, That. That is our cold open. Gavin: 0:26 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:42 So Gabon, guess where I just came back from? Gavin: 0:46 Like two hours ago. The the m airport Airport Marriott. No. I came back from. Dairy Queen? Oh, wait, I don&#39;t get to keep guessing. No, you can&#39;t. David: 0:57 No, that&#39;s funnier. Go ahead. Gavin: 1:00 I get him funny. David: 1:02 I understand jokes now. Go ahead. Dairy Queen. No. And then rule of threes. What&#39;s the third one? It should be funny. Gavin: 1:08 Yeah, I know. It should be funnier, but I was just gonna say Wendy&#39;s because I think that&#39;s the most real uh probably the most realistic guess. David: 1:16 100%. I met Wendy&#39;s all the time. In fact, I was having lunch with friends today and trying to get them to download the Wendy&#39;s app. No joke. I am making Wendy&#39;s more money. You had a friend date at Wendy&#39;s. Well, let me tell you why. So where I just came back from was pre-K graduation. Gavin: 1:34 Oh my God. So many phones out, so many almost tears, a hot, sweaty room, parents thinking this is the end all, be all. There is so much to unpack in a preschool graduation. David: 1:48 So I am, as we know, Mr. Coldhearted, you know, you know, oil through my veins, I hate my children kind of guy. Um literally the second the music started, I went, oh no, like immediately, because yeah, they the kids are like behind a screen, and then they start playing this like soft piano music, and then these four-year-olds come wandering in in full caps and gowns. So cute, yes, oh my god. It was, I gotta say, for somebody with such a cold, dead black heart as mine, I fucking was beaming the whole time. And they were just, they just came out and barely did anything. Gavin: 2:26 Yeah. There, it&#39;s so over the top. None of it is necessary. The caps and gowns that all cost$35 that hopefully some other parent donated to the entire classroom, or they recycle and they&#39;re all full of bed bugs and lice, but it&#39;s so fucking cute. It&#39;s so fucking fantastic. David: 2:43 It&#39;s really cute. And they, you know, they did, you know, a bunch of numbers that were kind of mediocre and terrible. Yeah. And then they did a whole like diploma ceremony where like the kids walk up or whatever. It was so fucking adorable. And then the best part really is, and this is a little bit gave and lodge, so prepare yourselves, everyone, out there. But afterwards, you know, they just kind of have like a little party. It&#39;s just cupcakes and pizza or whatever. But you know, the kids are running around in circles. Every parent knows me. I know every parent. And it was just this moment of like, man, this kind of community is really fucking great. A community of parents that you like and trust that all know you. You&#39;ve known each other for years, you feel safe in this room. And, you know, it&#39;s all going away when our kids go to kindergarten because none of the kids in my kids&#39; class is going to his kindergarten. So it was just kind of a sad moment because I was like, man, this is hard to have. It&#39;s hard to find a place like this. Gavin: 3:37 So all we do is complain complain about ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Episode 69! We celebrate by reviewing our year of lasts, David has lots of unique and exciting things to say like &#34;pilots are hot,&#34; we rank the top 3 big things, and this week we are joined by actor, writer, producer, and gay dad David Marshall Grant who takes us through his journey in Hollywood as well as in parenting. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Are you recording? 69, dude. And this is Gage Rearks. David: 0:08 Wait, that was it? Why not? I want everyone out there to to know that Gavin said, Are you recording? Because I have this really funny cold open. And then I said, Yep, we&#39;re recording. And we took a pause. I looked right into his eyes, and he just said, That. That is our cold open. Gavin: 0:26 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:42 So Gabon, guess where I just came back from? Gavin: 0:46 Like two hours ago. The the m airport Airport Marriott.]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with filmmakers Andy &#038; Danny Vallentine</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-filmmakers-andy-danny-vallentine/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Jun 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we are disappointed in the uniqueness of our kids names, Gavin&apos;s daughter doesn&apos;t want to hug him, David goes to Kindergarten, we rank the top 3 tiny things, and this week we are joined by filmmakers and fellow gay dads Andy and Danny Vallentine who join us to talk about their new movie, The Mattachine Family, as well as flying to Ireland with a 2-year-old, having a newborn while you make your first feature film, and what happened during &#34;the pasta incident.&#34;  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I this I feel like I&#39;m on I&#39;m in a threesome with a bag over my head. That&#39;s what I feel like right now. Great. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 So last night, my husband and I, we got a babysitter because we had to go to kindergarten orientation. Gavin: 0:29 Oh, little buddies growing up. David: 0:33 It is yeah, it is weird. It is, it is for sure not at like I have never been the it&#39;s happening fast person. As you know, it&#39;s excruciatingly slow, and I don&#39;t understand when people say go so fast. Right. And maybe I will on the other end. But it was the first time I went, oh, well, he&#39;s the baby. He can&#39;t go here. This is a school with like doors and a principal and a like a and homework, and there&#39;s a curriculum and buses and all the things. And so it was really strange to be there. It&#39;s also the thing that you and I and every other gay parent go through, which is like you immediately scan the room for friendly people, not friendly people, other gay people, not gay people. And of course, we were the only gay dads in the room. Really? Yeah. Oh wow, that kind of surprises me. Yeah. I mean, I&#39;m not in a super gay daddy area. Um, there are other gay dads and other gay families in our area, but they don&#39;t have kids going into our kindergarten this year. But it was really uh a strange experience because these are the kids that conceivably could grow up with him that he&#39;s gonna become friends with. Yeah. Also, the principal of the school is like hot question mark. Oh, and so I was like, oh, that&#39;s all that&#39;s a new wrench you&#39;re throwing this in. Am I gonna have to start sleeping with my kids&#39; principal? Um, which would be very strange. But um, yeah, it was a really I there&#39;s no like real funny story here, but it was like a weird like a rite of passage that I&#39;m going through. Yeah, that I&#39;m going through, that he will eventually go through and he&#39;ll be fine or whatever. But it was really fucking weird to be in this room and be like, oh yeah, this is the there was we&#39;re at the gymnasium and there was a little stage where I imagine there&#39;ll be plays someday and the classrooms and that you know, it&#39;s just crazy. Gavin: 2:13 It&#39;s um it&#39;s awesome. It this is reminding me of my days going back and doing that, uh, and that you had to get a babysitter for it, which is, I don&#39;t know, somehow ironic and stupid that you had to pay to go to this thing, but essentially. Did you make it into a date night or anything? Did you go out for it? David: 2:28 Kind of. I mean, I mean, listen, we went to the Dair Queen afterwards, and I got a uh I got a medium frosted animal cookie blizzard. But uh what but the they they said they do this with just parents because they want to be able to speak candidly about things and and talk about school safety and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, um, but what&#39;s really fucked up is literally the same day we went to uh a park and we went to somebody&#39;s birthday party, and it was a kid&#39;s birthday party, and so we were at the park across the street for a while, and then we went over to this birthday party. And so we&#39;re at the park across the street. So my son&#39;s name is Emmett, and it is a like you&#39;ve heard of the name, but it&#39;s not a super overused name at the moment. And I&#39;ve never met any other kids his age named Emmett. And so, of course, I wear that as a stupid badge of honor because all parents our age love a unique name. Yes, we love something that nobody else has, and we&#39;re all trying to do the same thing, and then everyone else, and then everyone else comes and has the same name. But I&#39;ve been kind of proud of it. And then we&#39;re at the park and I hear Emmett come over here, and I&#39;m like, who the fuck is that? It was a girl&#39;s voice. I look over there and I was like, why is she talking to my son? It&#39;s so weird. And I look over at him, I&#39;m looking at her, and this other little boy runs to him. That and I was like, Oh, and I like speak over there, and then she&#39;s like, Emmett, dropped that, and I was like, Oh, your name is Emmett. Uh oh. I was like, and so I was a little disappointed. Yeah. And so, like, whatever. So then we go to the birthday party, which is at a zoo, and we&#39;re walking through the zoo, and then there&#39;s a different fucking kid, and they&#39;re like, Hey, Emmett, come over here. And I went, wait a minute. Wait a fucking minute. I will not have two other Emmett&#39;s in my vicinity in the same day. So we&#39;re changing his name. Gavin: 4:10 I&#39;m glad that you have reached that uh realization before. I mean, you can change his kindergarten registration now, and that&#39;s gonna be a lot more helpful so you don&#39;t have to do it when he&#39;s in like fourth grade, because that would be really confusing. David: 4:19 I have to. I have to be different. Like if if and if another gay dad came in with a kid named MM, I would just say I would light myself on fire. I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not gonna. Gavin: 4:26 Hold my hoops. Right, right, right. Do you have have you already um brainstormed the new names? Is it gonna be like, I don&#39;t know, Sylvester or um, Cosmo? David: 4:36 I I think I&#39;m just gonna do it by like it his name can&#39;t be written, it can only be performed as like you know, by a like a you know, a yellow-bellied bird or something. Um so something really easy. Yellow yellow bellied bird. Gavin: 4:51 I uh so when we after COVID, um, when we when my kids started at a new school, my son&#39;s name is Colton, which is I would yeah, I would argue a titch more uh unique, even than Emmett. Not that I&#39;m gonna one up you or anything, but you know, he goes to school at a completely new school, very small school in comparison, comes home and we say, Oh, so did you make new friends today? He said, Yep, Colton. We&#39;re like, well, right, but did you make any new friends? Yeah. His name&#39;s Colton. David: 5:22 We&#39;re like, you&#39;re like motherfucker. Gavin: 5:24 Yeah, totally. Totally. Um yeah, they&#39;re still in school today. And uh, and we and then we were kind of like, well, which one&#39;s gonna be which one&#39;s gonna be nicknamed? Which one has to have like the last name after it, you know? And um I&#39;ll the jury&#39;s still out on that, frankly. Um so unrelated to any of this, we hit a milestone just today when um my daughter is starting to wake up with an alarm. And I admit that she is probably, I don&#39;t know, I was definitely, she&#39;s 12, and so I was probably waking up with my own alarm before not having my parents wake me up. But I really love waking her up and being the one to, you know, like turn on the light and open the uh window shades and ask her if she had any dreams and what does she want for breakfast? And she&#39;s been for a while pushing away and being like, you know what, I just want an alarm. You know what? And I&#39;m like, yeah, just dismissively, like, nah, we&#39;re not gonna do that. She definitely wants an alarm. Now, this is partly because she wants to sleep with her phone in her room. And let me tell you, parents out there, that is my number one, absolutely no way. Are you sleeping with your phone in your room? Um, no, not until you&#39;re 18. And then you can go make your own terrible decisions. But anyway, in the midst of her pulling away, which is what she&#39;s supposed to do, this morning she came down. I was already making her breakfast, just you know, working my ass off for her. And I said, Hey, can I have a hug? She said, No, I don&#39;t feel like hugging today. And I thought, this is the beginning of the end. This is it. She&#39;s never going to hug me again. And it&#39;s different from a four-year-old being like, Daddy, I don&#39;t love you anymore. And you&#39;re like, Okay, well, whatever. Here&#39;s your you know, girl cheese sandwich. This is a teen, a preteen, being like, Yeah, I don&#39;t want to touch you anymore. David: 7:08 And it reminds me like you said, it&#39;s normal. It&#39;s a bio, it&#39;s a biological response, and it&#39;s supposed to happen, and it&#39;s still, I&#39;m sure it feels fucking heartbreaking. Gavin: 7:16 Well, it&#39;s not yet heartbreaking. It&#39;s almost, I guess it&#39;s I would just say it&#39;s kind of depressing to think it reminds me of my mom. I remember her so frequently, especially when I was in high school, I think. I think it was high school, her saying, you know, studies show that every human being needs to be hugged 17 times a day. And even in the 90s, I&#39;m like, who the fuck has time for that? David: 7:39 Did she read that in like chicken soup for the soul? Gavin: 7:42 You know she did. Reader&#39;s digest or whatever. But um, and uh, and now I&#39;m like, oh my god, I&#39;m I I am my mom and I want my fucking 17 hugs a day, you know? My son already kind of does the lean hug. There&#39;s no arms around me, you know. He just like leans into me and I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll take it. Now my daughter&#39;s just like, no, you&#39;re disgusting. You&#39;re you&#39;re too cringe. David: 8:06 I don&#39;t want to give that up because I&#39;m uh like my love language is touch. And like when my son or even my daughter gives me that like monkey hug where they wrap their legs around you, and just like and it&#39;s like I it fills, it like just refills my spirit feeder. And with that going away, oh, not interesting. Just you wait. Just you wait. unknown: 8:25 Here we go. David: 8:25 You know what we don&#39;t have to wait for? Tell me our top three list. Gavin: 8:29 Woohoo! David: 8:30 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is what are the top three tiny great things? Oh, okay. Like like a lot of things we do on this this show, it can go a lot of different ways. Yeah, I have to do that. The way you do it is absolutely the correct way. Gavin: 8:46 Okay, I&#39;m glad to hear that. I do need that validation because I know we&#39;re gonna go in completely different directions. Totally. David: 8:51 And even I went into two totally different directions within my list. Okay. So I will I will get into it. So um, in number three, dipping dots. unknown: 9:02 Okay. David: 9:02 Do you know what dippin&#39; dots are? Yes, I sure do. If you don&#39;t, if you don&#39;t want that out of there, they&#39;re tiny little balls of ice cream that are like frozen beyond belief, and then you kind of scoop them up and they like kind of meld in your mouth. It&#39;s like it&#39;s like eating marbles that turn into ice cream. It&#39;s a very strange experience that it&#39;s at every single theme park you&#39;ve ever. Gavin: 9:20 Yeah, theme park. And they&#39;re really overpriced, they&#39;re really pre-packaged because this is not something that you scoop. Don&#39;t didn&#39;t we used to call it astronaut ice cream, though? Something like that. David: 9:30 No, astronaut ice cream is like the freeze-dried ice cream. Gavin: 9:33 Yeah, well, equally disgusting. Well, no, dip and dots. David: 9:36 No, these are this is at least real ice cream. It&#39;s creamy and real, but it&#39;s just like little balls of it. Um, and I like little balls. So speaking of number two, little balls. Uh number two for me, it&#39;s it&#39;s very it&#39;s adjacent to dip and dots, but I think it&#39;s its own category. Sprinkles. How great when you add sprinkles to anything, right? Sprinkles are nothing, they&#39;re not nutritionally needed, they&#39;re just a little bit of sugar and cornstarch. But man, vanilla ice cream, but then vanilla ice cream with some rainbow sprinkles on it. That&#39;s a tiny, great thing. Um, and for number one, I&#39;m gonna kind of go away from the literal tiny thing, and I&#39;m gonna go into like the small lift but big thing. And for me, number one, just staring into the night sky. It&#39;s a tiny thing. You&#39;re just laying there, you&#39;re not doing anything. But something about looking at the stars at night and just like letting your mind wander is so fucking great. And so that&#39;s my number one. Gavin: 10:34 That was the most game. David: 10:37 I know you better, you better have like dicks or something on your list to balance. Gavin: 10:41 Well, you talked about tiny balls for a second there, but then inadvertently. Inadvertently. Okay, for number number three for me, travel size. I just like buying travel size shit. It&#39;s it&#39;s very satisfying. It is, it&#39;s definitely in contrast to my environmental nature, but there&#39;s it&#39;s very satisfying because you buy travel size stuff and you&#39;re like, I&#39;m going somewhere, and that&#39;s always exciting. So I like travel size stuff. Uh number two, Starbucks short. I don&#39;t even know if I know what that is. Really? They don&#39;t advertise it. You have to know to ask for it. But you can get a short-sized cup at Starbucks. It&#39;s smaller than a tall. And so often I think, you know what? I&#39;m I&#39;m disgusted by their prices. I&#39;m disgusted by their upsizing of absolutely everything. Once in a while, I don&#39;t want a full cup of coffee, I just want a short. And even though it probably costs five cents less than a tall, so I should just upgrade, which is what their entire capitalist ploy is. I kind of feel like I&#39;m sticking it to the man by ordering a short. Yeah, Starbucks short. I don&#39;t think they do iced, I don&#39;t think they do cold um shorts, but you can get a short cappuccino, you can get a short coffee, you can get a short. I I I&#39;m so proud that I&#39;m bringing something new to you. Yeah. Um finally, even though I get so much shit for it all the time, my number one is my mini iPhone. Oh, I have an iPhone mini. I have an iPhone mini. I love it. I appreciate having something that doesn&#39;t ruin my line in my jeans. I like having a little phone. That is my number one tiny great thing. So for next week, let&#39;s just go ahead and pivot. I&#39;m gonna take your little thing and make it a big thing, okay? Tell me about great, big things. David: 12:33 So, our next guests are two Hollywood types who met in marching band. Now, when they weren&#39;t tickling their piccolos or Frenching each other&#39;s horns, they were busy making a new movie out now called The Matachine Family, about a gay couple deciding whether or not to have another kid after their foster kid returns to their birth mother. And how art often imitates life, they are also gay dads with a two-year-old daughter via Circusy. Clash your cymbals and twirl your batons for Andy and Danny Valentine. SPEAKER_05: 13:01 Hey guys, thank you very much. SPEAKER_01: 13:05 The word play on the on those marching bands stuff. David: 13:08 Guys, this is this is high level. We&#39;re at smartless level podcasting right now. High level. You know what I mean? You gotta swoop in with a big stuff. And this is our first forgy, by the way. Yes, yeah. We were talking about before we started recording our first foursome. Gavin: 13:20 So yeah, because this is an audio medium uh for those listener out there. There are four screens going right now, and we love it. David: 13:28 So so you guys are here because you wrote uh a big gay movie. SPEAKER_03: 13:32 Yeah. David: 13:33 Do you want to tell us a little bit about your big gay movie? SPEAKER_03: 13:35 Sure. Uh so it&#39;s called The Madine Family. Uh, we&#39;ve been we had been trying to make it for many years in LA, and it finally happened. Uh, it&#39;s a story about a gay couple and their journey to become parents. Um, the movie is like it parallels a little bit of our own life. Um,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we are disappointed in the uniqueness of our kids names, Gavin&apos;s daughter doesn&apos;t want to hug him, David goes to Kindergarten, we rank the top 3 tiny things, and this week we are joined by filmmakers and fellow gay dads Andy and Dann]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we are disappointed in the uniqueness of our kids names, Gavin&apos;s daughter doesn&apos;t want to hug him, David goes to Kindergarten, we rank the top 3 tiny things, and this week we are joined by filmmakers and fellow gay dads Andy and Danny Vallentine who join us to talk about their new movie, The Mattachine Family, as well as flying to Ireland with a 2-year-old, having a newborn while you make your first feature film, and what happened during &#34;the pasta incident.&#34;  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I this I feel like I&#39;m on I&#39;m in a threesome with a bag over my head. That&#39;s what I feel like right now. Great. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 So last night, my husband and I, we got a babysitter because we had to go to kindergarten orientation. Gavin: 0:29 Oh, little buddies growing up. David: 0:33 It is yeah, it is weird. It is, it is for sure not at like I have never been the it&#39;s happening fast person. As you know, it&#39;s excruciatingly slow, and I don&#39;t understand when people say go so fast. Right. And maybe I will on the other end. But it was the first time I went, oh, well, he&#39;s the baby. He can&#39;t go here. This is a school with like doors and a principal and a like a and homework, and there&#39;s a curriculum and buses and all the things. And so it was really strange to be there. It&#39;s also the thing that you and I and every other gay parent go through, which is like you immediately scan the room for friendly people, not friendly people, other gay people, not gay people. And of course, we were the only gay dads in the room. Really? Yeah. Oh wow, that kind of surprises me. Yeah. I mean, I&#39;m not in a super gay daddy area. Um, there are other gay dads and other gay families in our area, but they don&#39;t have kids going into our kindergarten this year. But it was really uh a strange experience because these are the kids that conceivably could grow up with him that he&#39;s gonna become friends with. Yeah. Also, the principal of the school is like hot question mark. Oh, and so I was like, oh, that&#39;s all that&#39;s a new wrench you&#39;re throwing this in. Am I gonna have to start sleeping with my kids&#39; principal? Um, which would be very strange. But um, yeah, it was a really I there&#39;s no like real funny story here, but it was like a weird like a rite of passage that I&#39;m going through. Yeah, that I&#39;m going through, that he will eventually go through and he&#39;ll be fine or whatever. But it was really fucking weird to be in this room and be like, oh yeah, this is the there was we&#39;re at the gymnasium and there was a little stage where I imagine there&#39;ll be plays someday and the classrooms and that you know, it&#39;s just crazy. Gavin: 2:13 It&#39;s um it&#39;s awesome. It this is reminding me of my days going back and doing that, uh, and that you had to get a babysitter for it, which is, I don&#39;t know, somehow ironic and stupid that you had to pay to go to this thing, but essentially. Did you make it into a date night or anything? Did you go out for it? David: 2:28 Kind of. I mean, I mean, listen, we went to the Dair Queen afterwards, and I got a uh I got a medium frosted animal cookie blizzard. But uh what but the they they said they do this with just parents because they want to be able to speak candidly about things and and talk about school safety and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, um, but what&#39;s really fucked up is literally the same day we went to uh a park and we went to somebody&#39;s birthday party, and it was a kid&#39;s birthday party, and so we were at the park across the street for a while, and then we went over to this birthday party. And so we&#39;re at the park across the street. So my son&#39;s name is Emmett, and it is a like you&#39;ve heard of the name, but it&#39;s not a super overused name at the moment. And I&#39;ve never met any other kids his age named Emmett. And so, of course, I wear that as a stupid badge of honor because all parents our age love a unique name. Yes, we love something that nobody else has, and we&#39;re all trying to do the same thing, and then everyone else, and then everyone else comes and has the same name. But I&#39;ve been kind of proud of it. And then we&#39;re at the park and I hear Emmett come over here, and I&#39;m like, who the fuck is that? It was a girl&#39;s voice. I look over there and I was like, why is she talking to my son? It&#39;s so weird. And I look over at him, I&#39;m looking at her, and this other little boy runs to him. That and I was like, Oh, and I like speak over there, and then she&#39;s like, Emmett, dropped that, and I was like, Oh, your name is Emmett. Uh oh. I was like, and so I was a little disappointed. Yeah. And so, like, whatever. So then we go to the birthday party, which is at a zoo, and we&#39;re walking through the zoo, and then there&#39;s a different fucking kid, and they&#39;re like, Hey, Emmett, come over here. And I went, wait a minute. Wait a fucking minute. I will not have two other Emmett&#39;s in my vicinity in the same day. So we&#39;re changing his name. Gavin: 4:10 I&#39;m glad that you have reached that uh realization before. I mean, you can change his kindergarten registration now, and that&#39;s gonna be a lot more helpful so you don&#39;t have to do it when he&#39;s in like fourth grade, because that would be really confusing. David: 4:19 I have to. I have to be different. Like if if and if another gay dad came in with a kid named MM, I would just say I would light myself on fire. I&#39;m like, I&#39;m not gonna. Gavin: 4:26 Hold my hoops. Right, right, right. Do you have have you already um brainstormed the new names? Is it gonna be like, I don&#39;t know, Sylvester or um, Cosmo? David: 4:36 I I think I&#39;m just gonna do it by like it his name can&#39;t be written, it can only be performed as like you know, by a like a you know, a yellow-bellied bird or something. Um so something really easy. Yellow yellow bellied bird. Gavin: 4:51 I uh so when we after COVID, um, when we when my kids started at a new school, my son&#39;s name is Colton, which is I would yeah, I would argue a titch more uh unique, even than Emmett. Not that I&#39;m gonna one up you or anything, but you know, he goes to school at a completely new school, very small school in comparison, comes home and we say, Oh, so did you make new friends today? He said, Yep, Colton. We&#39;re like, well, right, but did you make any new friends? Yeah. His name&#39;s Colton. David: 5:22 We&#39;re like, you&#39;re like motherfucker. Gavin: 5:24 Yeah, totally. Totally. Um yeah, they&#39;re still in school today. And uh, and we and then we were kind of like, well, which one&#39;s gonna be which one&#39;s gonna be nicknamed? Which one has to have like the last name after it, you know? And um I&#39;ll the jury&#39;s still out on that, frankly. Um so unrelated to any of this, we hit a milestone just today when um my daughter is starting to wake up with an alarm. And I admit that she is probably, I don&#39;t know, I was definitely, she&#39;s 12, and so I was probably waking up with my own alarm before not having my parents wake me up. But I really love waking her up and being the one to, you know, like turn on the light and open the uh window shades and ask her if she had any dreams and what does she want for breakfast? And she&#39;s been for a while pushing away and being like, you know what, I just want an alarm. You know what? And I&#39;m like, yeah, just dismissively, like, nah, we&#39;re not gonna do that. She definitely wants an alarm. Now, this is partly because she wants to sleep with her phone in her room. And let me tell you, parents out there, that is my number one, absolutely no way. Are you sleeping with your phone in your room? Um, no, not until you&#39;re 18. And then you can go make your own terrible decisions. But anyway, in the midst of her pulling away, which is what she&#39;s supposed to do, this morning she came down. I was already making her breakfast, just you know, working my ass off for her. And I said, Hey, can I have a hug? She said, No, I don&#39;t feel like hugging today. And I thought, this is the beginning of the end. This is it. She&#39;s never going to hug me again. And it&#39;s different from a four-year-old being like, Daddy, I don&#39;t love you anymore. And you&#39;re like, Okay, well, whatever. Here&#39;s your you know, girl cheese sandwich. This is a teen, a preteen, being like, Yeah, I don&#39;t want to touch you anymore. David: 7:08 And it reminds me like you said, it&#39;s normal. It&#39;s a bio, it&#39;s a biological response, and it&#39;s supposed to happen, and it&#39;s still, I&#39;m sure it feels fucking heartbreaking. Gavin: 7:16 Well, it&#39;s not yet heartbreaking. It&#39;s almost, I guess it&#39;s I would just say it&#39;s kind of depressing to think it reminds me of my mom. I remember her so frequently, especially when I was in high school, I think. I think it was high school, her saying, you know, studies show that every human being needs to be hugged 17 times a day. And even in the 90s, I&#39;m like, who the fuck has time for that? David: 7:39 Did she read that in like chicken soup for the soul? Gavin: 7:42 You know she did. Reader&#39;s digest or whatever. But um, and uh, and now I&#39;m like, oh my god, I&#39;m I I am my mom and I want my fucking 17 hugs a day, you know? My son already kind of does the lean hug. There&#39;s no arms around me, you know. He just like leans into me and I&#39;m like, I&#39;ll take it. Now my daughter&#39;s just like, no, you&#39;re disgusting. You&#39;re you&#39;re too cringe. David: 8:06 I don&#39;t want to give that up because I&#39;m uh like my love language is touch. And like when my son or even my daughter gives me that like monkey hug where they wrap their legs around you, and just like and it&#39;s like I it fills, it like just refills my spirit feeder. And with that going away, oh, not interesting. Just you wait. Just you wait. unknown: 8:25 Here we go. David: 8:25 You know what we don&#39;t have to wait for? Tell me our top three list. Gavin: 8:29 Woohoo! David: 8:30 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. This week is what are the top three tiny great things? Oh, okay. Like like a lot of things we do on this this show, it can go a lot of different ways. Yeah, I have to do that. The way you do it is absolutely the correct way. Gavin: 8:46 Okay, I&#39;m glad to hear that. I do need that validation because I know we&#39;re gonna go in completely different directions. Totally. David: 8:51 And even I went into two totally different directions within my list. Okay. So I will I will get into it. So um, in number three, dipping dots. unknown: 9:02 Okay. David: 9:02 Do you know what dippin&#39; dots are? Yes, I sure do. If you don&#39;t, if you don&#39;t want that out of there, they&#39;re tiny little balls of ice cream that are like frozen beyond belief, and then you kind of scoop them up and they like kind of meld in your mouth. It&#39;s like it&#39;s like eating marbles that turn into ice cream. It&#39;s a very strange experience that it&#39;s at every single theme park you&#39;ve ever. Gavin: 9:20 Yeah, theme park. And they&#39;re really overpriced, they&#39;re really pre-packaged because this is not something that you scoop. Don&#39;t didn&#39;t we used to call it astronaut ice cream, though? Something like that. David: 9:30 No, astronaut ice cream is like the freeze-dried ice cream. Gavin: 9:33 Yeah, well, equally disgusting. Well, no, dip and dots. David: 9:36 No, these are this is at least real ice cream. It&#39;s creamy and real, but it&#39;s just like little balls of it. Um, and I like little balls. So speaking of number two, little balls. Uh number two for me, it&#39;s it&#39;s very it&#39;s adjacent to dip and dots, but I think it&#39;s its own category. Sprinkles. How great when you add sprinkles to anything, right? Sprinkles are nothing, they&#39;re not nutritionally needed, they&#39;re just a little bit of sugar and cornstarch. But man, vanilla ice cream, but then vanilla ice cream with some rainbow sprinkles on it. That&#39;s a tiny, great thing. Um, and for number one, I&#39;m gonna kind of go away from the literal tiny thing, and I&#39;m gonna go into like the small lift but big thing. And for me, number one, just staring into the night sky. It&#39;s a tiny thing. You&#39;re just laying there, you&#39;re not doing anything. But something about looking at the stars at night and just like letting your mind wander is so fucking great. And so that&#39;s my number one. Gavin: 10:34 That was the most game. David: 10:37 I know you better, you better have like dicks or something on your list to balance. Gavin: 10:41 Well, you talked about tiny balls for a second there, but then inadvertently. Inadvertently. Okay, for number number three for me, travel size. I just like buying travel size shit. It&#39;s it&#39;s very satisfying. It is, it&#39;s definitely in contrast to my environmental nature, but there&#39;s it&#39;s very satisfying because you buy travel size stuff and you&#39;re like, I&#39;m going somewhere, and that&#39;s always exciting. So I like travel size stuff. Uh number two, Starbucks short. I don&#39;t even know if I know what that is. Really? They don&#39;t advertise it. You have to know to ask for it. But you can get a short-sized cup at Starbucks. It&#39;s smaller than a tall. And so often I think, you know what? I&#39;m I&#39;m disgusted by their prices. I&#39;m disgusted by their upsizing of absolutely everything. Once in a while, I don&#39;t want a full cup of coffee, I just want a short. And even though it probably costs five cents less than a tall, so I should just upgrade, which is what their entire capitalist ploy is. I kind of feel like I&#39;m sticking it to the man by ordering a short. Yeah, Starbucks short. I don&#39;t think they do iced, I don&#39;t think they do cold um shorts, but you can get a short cappuccino, you can get a short coffee, you can get a short. I I I&#39;m so proud that I&#39;m bringing something new to you. Yeah. Um finally, even though I get so much shit for it all the time, my number one is my mini iPhone. Oh, I have an iPhone mini. I have an iPhone mini. I love it. I appreciate having something that doesn&#39;t ruin my line in my jeans. I like having a little phone. That is my number one tiny great thing. So for next week, let&#39;s just go ahead and pivot. I&#39;m gonna take your little thing and make it a big thing, okay? Tell me about great, big things. David: 12:33 So, our next guests are two Hollywood types who met in marching band. Now, when they weren&#39;t tickling their piccolos or Frenching each other&#39;s horns, they were busy making a new movie out now called The Matachine Family, about a gay couple deciding whether or not to have another kid after their foster kid returns to their birth mother. And how art often imitates life, they are also gay dads with a two-year-old daughter via Circusy. Clash your cymbals and twirl your batons for Andy and Danny Valentine. SPEAKER_05: 13:01 Hey guys, thank you very much. SPEAKER_01: 13:05 The word play on the on those marching bands stuff. David: 13:08 Guys, this is this is high level. We&#39;re at smartless level podcasting right now. High level. You know what I mean? You gotta swoop in with a big stuff. And this is our first forgy, by the way. Yes, yeah. We were talking about before we started recording our first foursome. Gavin: 13:20 So yeah, because this is an audio medium uh for those listener out there. There are four screens going right now, and we love it. David: 13:28 So so you guys are here because you wrote uh a big gay movie. SPEAKER_03: 13:32 Yeah. David: 13:33 Do you want to tell us a little bit about your big gay movie? SPEAKER_03: 13:35 Sure. Uh so it&#39;s called The Madine Family. Uh, we&#39;ve been we had been trying to make it for many years in LA, and it finally happened. Uh, it&#39;s a story about a gay couple and their journey to become parents. Um, the movie is like it parallels a little bit of our own life. Um,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we are disappointed in the uniqueness of our kids names, Gavin&apos;s daughter doesn&apos;t want to hug him, David goes to Kindergarten, we rank the top 3 tiny things, and this week we are joined by filmmakers and fellow gay dads Andy and Danny Vallentine who join us to talk about their new movie, The Mattachine Family, as well as flying to Ireland with a 2-year-old, having a newborn while you make your first feature film, and what happened during &#34;the pasta incident.&#34;  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I this I feel like I&#39;m on I&#39;m in a threesome with a bag over my head. That&#39;s what I feel like right now. Great. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 So last night, my husband and I, we got a babysitter because we had to go to kindergarten orientation. Gavin: 0:29 Oh, little buddies growing up. David: 0:33 It is yeah, it is weird. It is, it is for sure not at like I have never been the it&#39;s happening fast person. As you know, it&#39;s excruciatingly slow, and I don&#39;t understand when people say go so fast. Right. And maybe I will on the other end. But it was the first time I went, oh, well, he&#39;s the baby. He can&#39;t go here. This is a school with like doors and a principal and a like a and homework, and there&#39;s a curriculum and buses and all the things. And so it was really strange to be there. It&#39;s also the thing that you and I and every other gay parent go through, which is like you immediately scan the room for friendly people, not friendly people, other gay people, not gay people. And of course, we were the only gay dads in the room. Really? Yeah. Oh wow, that kind of surprises me. Yeah. I mean, I&#39;m not in a super gay daddy area. Um, there are other gay dads and other gay families in our area, but they don&#39;t have kids going into our kindergarten this year. But it was really uh a strange experience because these are the kids that conceivably could grow up with him that he&#39;s gonna become friends with. Yeah. Also, the principal of the school is like hot question mark. Oh, and so I was like, oh, that&#39;s all that&#39;s a new wrench you&#39;re throwing this in. Am I gonna have to start sleeping with my kids&#39; principal? Um, which would be very strange. But um, yeah, it was a really I there&#39;s no like real funny story here, but it was like a weird like a rite of passage that I&#39;m going through. Yeah, that I&#39;m going through, that he will eventually go through and he&#39;ll be fine or whatever. But it was really fucking weird to be in this room and be like, oh yeah, this is the there was we&#39;re at the gymnasium and there was a little stage where I imagine there&#39;ll be plays someday and the classrooms and that you know, it&#39;s just crazy. Gavin: 2:13 It&#39;s um it&#39;s awesome. It this is reminding me of my days going back and doing that, uh, and that you had to get a babysitter for it, which is, I don&#39;t know, somehow ironic and stupid that you had to pay to go to this thing, but essentially. Did you make it into a date night or anything? Did you go out for it? David: 2:28 Kind of. I mean, I mean, listen, we went to the Dair Queen afterwards, and I got a uh I got a medium frosted animal cookie blizzard. But uh what but the they they said they do this with just parents because they want to be able to speak candidly about things and and talk about school safety and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, um, but what&#39;s really fucked up is literally the same day we went to uh a park and we went to somebody&#39;s birthday party, and it was a kid&#39;s birthday party, and so we were at the park across the street for a while, and then we went over to this birthday party. And so we&#39;re at the park across the street. So my son&#39;s name is Emmett, and it is a like you&#39;ve heard of the name, but it&#39;s not a super overused ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we are disappointed in the uniqueness of our kids names, Gavin&apos;s daughter doesn&apos;t want to hug him, David goes to Kindergarten, we rank the top 3 tiny things, and this week we are joined by filmmakers and fellow gay dads Andy and Danny Vallentine who join us to talk about their new movie, The Mattachine Family, as well as flying to Ireland with a 2-year-old, having a newborn while you make your first feature film, and what happened during &#34;the pasta incident.&#34;  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I this I feel like I&#39;m on I&#39;m in a threesome with a bag over my head. That&#39;s what I feel like right now. Great. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 So last night, my husband and I, we got a babysitter because we had to go to kindergarten orientation. Gavin: 0:29 Oh, little buddies growing up. David: 0:33 It is yeah, it is weird. It is]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Jason Daley Kennedy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jason-daley-kennedy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Jun 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin&apos;s kid isn&apos;t leading the pack, David&apos;s kids need trash on the table to eat, we rank the top 3 generational traumas we want our kids to experience, and we are joined by actor, writer, and founder of “Meditation for Assholes&#34; Jason Daley Kennedy who talks to us about his 3 kids, how get got into wellness, and sets David straight as to which asshole he was writing about. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, so normally we start our cold opens with, you know, Gavin fucking up something or some disaster happening. But I just received a voice mail from former guest of the podcast, Lorian McKenna, and it is borderline perfect. So I figured this is the only way I want to start the show. So here goes. SPEAKER_00: 0:20 I just want you to know what an awesome parent I am. I just lost my shit in the car on the way to school and called Lindsay an asshole. Um, so I&#39;m pretty good. Um, if you want to get any parenting tips from me uh on how to raise a psychopath or to emotionally alienate your kid, uh just let me know because I feel like I&#39;m experts at it. David: 0:44 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:59 So I was recently on a plane all by myself. As we know, that&#39;s daddy&#39;s number one spa treatment, right? And it was fantastic. And I um ordered a drink, big surprise, watched a movie, et cetera, et cetera. But I was found uh dumbfounded by how much it is so hard for me to focus on a plane. Now I love plane time, especially now because I can just do what I want to do, right? And I just get to do whatever the fuck I want to do. So I wanted to watch a movie. So I started to watch Bros, the movie. Have you seen Bros? I have seen Bros, yeah. I mean, it&#39;s so heartwarming, so charming, so titillating, just dirty enough. It it&#39;s totally entertaining. Everybody should watch it, but not on a plane, necessarily. But then I think I&#39;m having a double standard here. Like, I suddenly got super embarrassed. I didn&#39;t finish the movie. The first sex scene, I&#39;m like, oh my god, other people are watching me watch this movie. David: 1:55 Because is it because like a flight attendant walked up to you and said, sir, you&#39;re fully erect? Do you need a blanket? And you&#39;re like, no, thanks, it&#39;s not that cold. And she&#39;s like, take the fucking blanket. So 23E. Gavin: 2:11 No, thank God. But adjacent to that reminds me of that. I find it also very difficult to ever focus on my own movie in a plane because all I want to see is to what 22D and 22F are watching. Yeah. I cannot. And I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a good one. David: 2:25 Even if it&#39;s just like where the plane is, it&#39;s way more interesting. Gavin: 2:29 Totally distracting. David: 2:30 Oh, it&#39;s 224 at our landing location. Cool. Gavin: 2:32 Oh, wait, oh yeah. Oh, wait, what are they? Oh, what are they watching? Maybe it&#39;s more interesting than what I&#39;m watching. I mean, there&#39;s so much FOMO in watching a movie on a plane. I just want to have seven screens going at the same time. And only one of them should be X-rated adjacent uh sex scenes, which then bringing it back to bros makes me think if I were watching, I was gonna say Titanic and the sex scene, but that&#39;s obviously whatever. That&#39;s sex from 1994. But like, if I were watching a straight sex scene, I&#39;d be like, whatever, dude. I&#39;m watching sex on a plane. But it I felt self-conscious watching bros. Isn&#39;t that ridiculous? I need to get over my own inner inner um uh homophobia, I suppose. But anyway. David: 3:13 The headline, Gavin, is Gavin Lodge watches gay porn in public. Gavin: 3:18 I mean, that&#39;s basically what you just and also also goes down an intellectual rabbit hole about what it means to watch gay sex in porn in public and also watching other people&#39;s movies. Um that&#39;s that&#39;s I mean, there was there were all sorts of things there. David: 3:31 Anyway, speaking about watching what other people are doing, uh, my children who are four and two um are in this having this new great game at dinner time and breakfast time, which is she&#39;s looking at me. And here&#39;s how we play the game we sit down at the table and we start complaining about whatever food dad made, and then we start crying and screaming because the other kid who sits directly across from the kid is looking generally in their direction. Looking at me. So this is stop looking at me. Uh-huh. Exactly. Stop looking at me. She&#39;s looking at me, he&#39;s looking at me, tears, tears, tears. And I have basically given up. And so now what is required of me, we have like a uh, we always have like a paper bag in this corner of the kitchen that is for our paper recyclables. So now when we sit down to dinner and I&#39;m setting the table with forks and napkins and plates, I now have to set the dinner table bag of trash in the middle of the table to create a barrier between my two children so they won&#39;t scream and cry at each other. So I have just totally given up because I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I don&#39;t want, I would like to eat dinner apiece. So now we eat dinner with a bag of trash on the table, and that&#39;s how I the headline for this section is well, you just gave it. Gavin: 4:46 That is um totally relatable, though. I was definitely in that mode, and frankly, it still happens. I mean, the fact when my kids get annoyed with each other, it quickly spirals into a stop talking to me, stop talking to me, stop looking at me. She&#39;s looking at me, dad, or he&#39;s looking at me, dad. No, usually it&#39;s she&#39;s looking at me, dad. And um, and yeah, it&#39;s uh this is a universal theme. Do you think that this went on in like 1776 with like John Adams and his children sitting at the table being like, he looked at me? Or were they a little more like the British are coming, we only have potatoes to eat? David: 5:19 No, they were just exhausted from plowing the fields or whatever they were doing. So I think the kids didn&#39;t have the energy legitimately, and they were dying at 26. So they didn&#39;t have much time to complain, honestly. Gavin: 5:30 Yeah, they were already at work when they were ages four and six. And so, uh, but this is definitely a 2024 uh princess problem that uh is totally universal because it was true for me in 2014 as well. Speaking of putting trash on the table between kids, um, that was a perfect segue to uh something else I wanted to bring up and rant about. Isn&#39;t it? Isn&#39;t it? Thank you for set teeing me up for it. I was recently talking to a friend, uh a group of dads, about kids and their chores. And not that I don&#39;t have enough things to go on around the house, but so often I&#39;m like, could you just oh Jesus Christ, just let me do it myself. It&#39;ll be faster and better. And I need to do be better about making my kids do the shit, even if it&#39;s a shitty job that they&#39;re gonna do. But anyway, we were talking about um chores, and I&#39;m trying to think, how do we get into the summertime with more chores for my kids so that they&#39;ll be, you know, more grateful for how much I do for them. And one of the dads says, Well, my kid does his laundry. And I&#39;m like, your kid is 11 and he does his own laundry? I mean, that&#39;s like kicking your kid out of the house a little bit. I was impressed with that. My kids would have a total meltdown at doing laundry. Do do you plan on having your kids do the laundry when they&#39;re 11? David: 6:42 I was just thinking, like, when did I start doing laundry? I did, I never did a load of laundry, and then I went to college, and then I paid the laundromat across the street from me to wash and fold my laundry, and it would come back in like a square. Gavin: 6:56 And yeah, that square is so satisfying, though. So satisfying. David: 7:00 I&#39;ve never I&#39;ve never felt better in underwear. My balls have never loved being hugged by 100% cotton than what it&#39;s you know, perfectly in this like parallelogram. Yes, but I I don&#39;t think it was till after I graduated college. So I this is I I I&#39;m a terrible person for this. This is embarrassing. This is really embarrassing. Gavin: 7:17 To all of our listeners out there, don&#39;t follow our lead. Do not do as David does. But this is embarrassing. Please continue to embarrass yourself. That is embarrassing that you didn&#39;t do laundry until after college. Oh my God. But I I thought it was embarrassing enough that my mom basically, as a parting gift to me when I went to college, was teaching me how to do my laundry. David: 7:36 Honestly. Gavin: 7:36 Yeah, well, it it isn&#39;t rocket science. And yes, an 11-year-old can definitely operate. I mean, Jesus, my kid operates basically flight control systems from his iPods. David: 7:47 Could iPads could literally launch nuclear stubs. Yes. But yeah, yeah. Gavin: 7:51 Yes. But anyway, I mean, I just made me feel like, and this is a dad who I doubt he listens, but I would love it if he did. Um, I I this is not a guy who brags about his kid at all. And it was just like a matter of fact. But I&#39;m like, this is the same sense of shame I feel when there were other parents on the playgrounds. SPEAKER_02: 8:07 For me, five, oh my god, almost no, no, five, five, eight years ago, where they&#39;re like, yeah, my kid is doing trigonometry now, or we found some gamification of high-level algebra. Gavin: 8:19 I think, oh, Jesus Christ, nobody fucking cares that your kid already reads at an eighth-grade level and they&#39;re in second grade. Keep that business to yourself. David: 8:27 I love your elitist parent voice. That&#39;s really good character. You should keep that in your back pocket. That&#39;s really good. Gavin: 8:32 Well, it is definitely the humble bragging of trigonometry for five-year-olds is uh 11-year-olds doing their laundry, but maybe I&#39;ll try that out this summer and I&#39;ll report back. David: 8:40 So, you know what&#39;s also annoying? It is having a two-year-old and a four-year-old when they&#39;re playing games. So that the two-year-old, my daughter, is only wants to do what my son says. So if, like, I say, hey guys, I have Play-Doh, who wants green and wants red? My daughter will say, I&#39;ll want green. Emmett will say, I want red. And then Hannah will go, I want red, right? It&#39;s always whatever he wants, whatever he says. So when we&#39;re playing games that are intellectually appropriate for him, she wants to join. The problem is, is that she doesn&#39;t know how to play these games because she&#39;s too and stupid. Yeah. So now I&#39;ve got to play this game with her to try to be fair. And it&#39;s so annoying. So we were playing hot versus cold. So, you know, hey, I&#39;m thinking of an item in this room. And then he walks around. We say hot, warmer, getting warmer, you know, that game. Yeah. And so she&#39;s like, I want to play. And I&#39;m like, okay. And then I start saying hotter, cold. She has no fucking concept of what&#39;s going on, but she&#39;s so desperate to play. And I feel so bad because if there was a camera on my face, my face would have melted, and I&#39;m just walking through it until it&#39;s his turn again. And I feel terrible because she wants to play too. And there&#39;s so few games that both of those two kids can play at the same time. Gavin: 9:48 The gap between two and four is gargantuan, as is the gap between, I don&#39;t know, 10 and 12. And um, I mean, there are certain gaps though that are really, really wide. But that does remind me of speaking of like trigonometry for speaking of wide gaps. Speaking of trigonometry for I mean, this does have a point though. I think that um well, I tried to get baby Einstein the shit out of my kids and thinking like, oh, this game, what, shoots and ladders is for five to eight year olds, but I bet my two-year-old can do it. There&#39;s that voice again for you. And I would get the games that were age inappropriate and try to like level up, and ultimately it was like, nope, this is too fucking hard for them. Why am I forcing this? It actually creates more pain in the acidness than it does like stimulation. So, like, it&#39;s tough. Those age-appropriate levels are actually pretty accurate. And if your kid is already doing trigonometry, good for fucking you, go listen to another podcast. So, speaking of another podcast, what won&#39;t you get on another podcast is dad hacks. Actually, I&#39;m sure there&#39;s plenty of podcasts out there doing dad hacks, but whatever, fuck them. You&#39;re listening to this one. So I um have started looking at a little bit of dad hack um uh advice from other dads. Some of it, well, basically it&#39;s all the same, honestly, but some of it is truly bullshit, and sometimes it&#39;s actually kind of interesting. I&#39;m gonna give a shout-out to a guy with a blog called Year of the Dad blog. Blog, I know. So how 2003. No. Well, this was from 2019, and it is a blog that doesn&#39;t look like it&#39;s around anymore. So sorry, bud. Hope life&#39;s still good for you. But it was the first thing that came up when you uh Googled dad hacks, interestingly. And I did like two of them that he had, which were sunscreen. We&#39;ve probably already talked about this. Make sure with a toddler you put on sunscreen while they&#39;re strapped into their car seat. Because then, well, uh for obvious reasons, that&#39;s a good dad hack, I thought. And then also he suggested opening up a Gmail account for your kid or having an email account and emailing them uh periodically throughout their lives. And so then when they&#39;re, you know, when they uh actually check their own email at age, well, you know, five, if your kid is already reading at an eighth grade level and doing trigonometry, but 13 for the rest of us, um, they already have a whole bunch of messages from you. And um, who knows what kind of time warp that can be. So how very sweet. David: 12:05 You know what&#39;s not sweet? Our top three list. Gavin: 12:08 Top three! David: 12:10 Gate triarks, top three list, three, two, one. So this week I think it&#39;s your list, yeah? Gavin: 12:16 Yeah, it is. I want to know what are the top three little childhood traumas you want your kid to go through to, you know, grow up and be good people. Okay. So for me, number three is getting called out for stealing by a store employee. David: 12:34 Good luck. You recently had this, didn&#39;t you? Sure did. He&#39;s still doing it. We&#39;re still finding little things. And we found last night our babysitter came over and we found that she he had taken her chapstick and hid it in one of his little cups. Oh shit. So yeah. Gavin: 12:47 Yeah. You just need, I feel like you need one store clerk to be like little kid, and you as a parent, you like shove that kid into the store clerk&#39;s face. Totally. And you get them called out for it. Um, number two, getting caught badmouthing a friend. Oh, like getting caught red-handed, I think it&#39;s a lifelong skill um lesson in knowing what it feels like. And I, this was totally I had a non-friend, a frenemy, and I were bad mouthing a friend. The frenemy then three-way called me because it was 1980. Oh my god. 1990, and then had me repeat what I said, which was bullshit. I might have like, I don&#39;t know why I was saying, I was trying to impress the friend of me, and the friend was actually on the phone as I badmouthed the friend saying that I hated this friend. And I believe, but I have never by the way, we are still friends today, not the friend of me, fuck that person. Um, but we are still friends today, and um, I learned from that process for sure. Number one, um, get caught cheating. Get caught cheating early, learn from the lesson, don&#39;t do it again. Um, I got caught cheating uh embarrassingly. Oh my god. David: 14:07 Do I really want to on your like if I can be a podcaster exam? That&#39;s not how you cheated. Gavin: 14:13 I got caught cheating in high school because I thought I was too good to memorize the names of the Supreme Court. So I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin&apos;s kid isn&apos;t leading the pack, David&apos;s kids need trash on the table to eat, we rank the top 3 generational traumas we want our kids to experience, and we are joined by actor, writer, and founder of “Meditation for Assholes&]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin&apos;s kid isn&apos;t leading the pack, David&apos;s kids need trash on the table to eat, we rank the top 3 generational traumas we want our kids to experience, and we are joined by actor, writer, and founder of “Meditation for Assholes&#34; Jason Daley Kennedy who talks to us about his 3 kids, how get got into wellness, and sets David straight as to which asshole he was writing about. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, so normally we start our cold opens with, you know, Gavin fucking up something or some disaster happening. But I just received a voice mail from former guest of the podcast, Lorian McKenna, and it is borderline perfect. So I figured this is the only way I want to start the show. So here goes. SPEAKER_00: 0:20 I just want you to know what an awesome parent I am. I just lost my shit in the car on the way to school and called Lindsay an asshole. Um, so I&#39;m pretty good. Um, if you want to get any parenting tips from me uh on how to raise a psychopath or to emotionally alienate your kid, uh just let me know because I feel like I&#39;m experts at it. David: 0:44 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:59 So I was recently on a plane all by myself. As we know, that&#39;s daddy&#39;s number one spa treatment, right? And it was fantastic. And I um ordered a drink, big surprise, watched a movie, et cetera, et cetera. But I was found uh dumbfounded by how much it is so hard for me to focus on a plane. Now I love plane time, especially now because I can just do what I want to do, right? And I just get to do whatever the fuck I want to do. So I wanted to watch a movie. So I started to watch Bros, the movie. Have you seen Bros? I have seen Bros, yeah. I mean, it&#39;s so heartwarming, so charming, so titillating, just dirty enough. It it&#39;s totally entertaining. Everybody should watch it, but not on a plane, necessarily. But then I think I&#39;m having a double standard here. Like, I suddenly got super embarrassed. I didn&#39;t finish the movie. The first sex scene, I&#39;m like, oh my god, other people are watching me watch this movie. David: 1:55 Because is it because like a flight attendant walked up to you and said, sir, you&#39;re fully erect? Do you need a blanket? And you&#39;re like, no, thanks, it&#39;s not that cold. And she&#39;s like, take the fucking blanket. So 23E. Gavin: 2:11 No, thank God. But adjacent to that reminds me of that. I find it also very difficult to ever focus on my own movie in a plane because all I want to see is to what 22D and 22F are watching. Yeah. I cannot. And I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a good one. David: 2:25 Even if it&#39;s just like where the plane is, it&#39;s way more interesting. Gavin: 2:29 Totally distracting. David: 2:30 Oh, it&#39;s 224 at our landing location. Cool. Gavin: 2:32 Oh, wait, oh yeah. Oh, wait, what are they? Oh, what are they watching? Maybe it&#39;s more interesting than what I&#39;m watching. I mean, there&#39;s so much FOMO in watching a movie on a plane. I just want to have seven screens going at the same time. And only one of them should be X-rated adjacent uh sex scenes, which then bringing it back to bros makes me think if I were watching, I was gonna say Titanic and the sex scene, but that&#39;s obviously whatever. That&#39;s sex from 1994. But like, if I were watching a straight sex scene, I&#39;d be like, whatever, dude. I&#39;m watching sex on a plane. But it I felt self-conscious watching bros. Isn&#39;t that ridiculous? I need to get over my own inner inner um uh homophobia, I suppose. But anyway. David: 3:13 The headline, Gavin, is Gavin Lodge watches gay porn in public. Gavin: 3:18 I mean, that&#39;s basically what you just and also also goes down an intellectual rabbit hole about what it means to watch gay sex in porn in public and also watching other people&#39;s movies. Um that&#39;s that&#39;s I mean, there was there were all sorts of things there. David: 3:31 Anyway, speaking about watching what other people are doing, uh, my children who are four and two um are in this having this new great game at dinner time and breakfast time, which is she&#39;s looking at me. And here&#39;s how we play the game we sit down at the table and we start complaining about whatever food dad made, and then we start crying and screaming because the other kid who sits directly across from the kid is looking generally in their direction. Looking at me. So this is stop looking at me. Uh-huh. Exactly. Stop looking at me. She&#39;s looking at me, he&#39;s looking at me, tears, tears, tears. And I have basically given up. And so now what is required of me, we have like a uh, we always have like a paper bag in this corner of the kitchen that is for our paper recyclables. So now when we sit down to dinner and I&#39;m setting the table with forks and napkins and plates, I now have to set the dinner table bag of trash in the middle of the table to create a barrier between my two children so they won&#39;t scream and cry at each other. So I have just totally given up because I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I don&#39;t want, I would like to eat dinner apiece. So now we eat dinner with a bag of trash on the table, and that&#39;s how I the headline for this section is well, you just gave it. Gavin: 4:46 That is um totally relatable, though. I was definitely in that mode, and frankly, it still happens. I mean, the fact when my kids get annoyed with each other, it quickly spirals into a stop talking to me, stop talking to me, stop looking at me. She&#39;s looking at me, dad, or he&#39;s looking at me, dad. No, usually it&#39;s she&#39;s looking at me, dad. And um, and yeah, it&#39;s uh this is a universal theme. Do you think that this went on in like 1776 with like John Adams and his children sitting at the table being like, he looked at me? Or were they a little more like the British are coming, we only have potatoes to eat? David: 5:19 No, they were just exhausted from plowing the fields or whatever they were doing. So I think the kids didn&#39;t have the energy legitimately, and they were dying at 26. So they didn&#39;t have much time to complain, honestly. Gavin: 5:30 Yeah, they were already at work when they were ages four and six. And so, uh, but this is definitely a 2024 uh princess problem that uh is totally universal because it was true for me in 2014 as well. Speaking of putting trash on the table between kids, um, that was a perfect segue to uh something else I wanted to bring up and rant about. Isn&#39;t it? Isn&#39;t it? Thank you for set teeing me up for it. I was recently talking to a friend, uh a group of dads, about kids and their chores. And not that I don&#39;t have enough things to go on around the house, but so often I&#39;m like, could you just oh Jesus Christ, just let me do it myself. It&#39;ll be faster and better. And I need to do be better about making my kids do the shit, even if it&#39;s a shitty job that they&#39;re gonna do. But anyway, we were talking about um chores, and I&#39;m trying to think, how do we get into the summertime with more chores for my kids so that they&#39;ll be, you know, more grateful for how much I do for them. And one of the dads says, Well, my kid does his laundry. And I&#39;m like, your kid is 11 and he does his own laundry? I mean, that&#39;s like kicking your kid out of the house a little bit. I was impressed with that. My kids would have a total meltdown at doing laundry. Do do you plan on having your kids do the laundry when they&#39;re 11? David: 6:42 I was just thinking, like, when did I start doing laundry? I did, I never did a load of laundry, and then I went to college, and then I paid the laundromat across the street from me to wash and fold my laundry, and it would come back in like a square. Gavin: 6:56 And yeah, that square is so satisfying, though. So satisfying. David: 7:00 I&#39;ve never I&#39;ve never felt better in underwear. My balls have never loved being hugged by 100% cotton than what it&#39;s you know, perfectly in this like parallelogram. Yes, but I I don&#39;t think it was till after I graduated college. So I this is I I I&#39;m a terrible person for this. This is embarrassing. This is really embarrassing. Gavin: 7:17 To all of our listeners out there, don&#39;t follow our lead. Do not do as David does. But this is embarrassing. Please continue to embarrass yourself. That is embarrassing that you didn&#39;t do laundry until after college. Oh my God. But I I thought it was embarrassing enough that my mom basically, as a parting gift to me when I went to college, was teaching me how to do my laundry. David: 7:36 Honestly. Gavin: 7:36 Yeah, well, it it isn&#39;t rocket science. And yes, an 11-year-old can definitely operate. I mean, Jesus, my kid operates basically flight control systems from his iPods. David: 7:47 Could iPads could literally launch nuclear stubs. Yes. But yeah, yeah. Gavin: 7:51 Yes. But anyway, I mean, I just made me feel like, and this is a dad who I doubt he listens, but I would love it if he did. Um, I I this is not a guy who brags about his kid at all. And it was just like a matter of fact. But I&#39;m like, this is the same sense of shame I feel when there were other parents on the playgrounds. SPEAKER_02: 8:07 For me, five, oh my god, almost no, no, five, five, eight years ago, where they&#39;re like, yeah, my kid is doing trigonometry now, or we found some gamification of high-level algebra. Gavin: 8:19 I think, oh, Jesus Christ, nobody fucking cares that your kid already reads at an eighth-grade level and they&#39;re in second grade. Keep that business to yourself. David: 8:27 I love your elitist parent voice. That&#39;s really good character. You should keep that in your back pocket. That&#39;s really good. Gavin: 8:32 Well, it is definitely the humble bragging of trigonometry for five-year-olds is uh 11-year-olds doing their laundry, but maybe I&#39;ll try that out this summer and I&#39;ll report back. David: 8:40 So, you know what&#39;s also annoying? It is having a two-year-old and a four-year-old when they&#39;re playing games. So that the two-year-old, my daughter, is only wants to do what my son says. So if, like, I say, hey guys, I have Play-Doh, who wants green and wants red? My daughter will say, I&#39;ll want green. Emmett will say, I want red. And then Hannah will go, I want red, right? It&#39;s always whatever he wants, whatever he says. So when we&#39;re playing games that are intellectually appropriate for him, she wants to join. The problem is, is that she doesn&#39;t know how to play these games because she&#39;s too and stupid. Yeah. So now I&#39;ve got to play this game with her to try to be fair. And it&#39;s so annoying. So we were playing hot versus cold. So, you know, hey, I&#39;m thinking of an item in this room. And then he walks around. We say hot, warmer, getting warmer, you know, that game. Yeah. And so she&#39;s like, I want to play. And I&#39;m like, okay. And then I start saying hotter, cold. She has no fucking concept of what&#39;s going on, but she&#39;s so desperate to play. And I feel so bad because if there was a camera on my face, my face would have melted, and I&#39;m just walking through it until it&#39;s his turn again. And I feel terrible because she wants to play too. And there&#39;s so few games that both of those two kids can play at the same time. Gavin: 9:48 The gap between two and four is gargantuan, as is the gap between, I don&#39;t know, 10 and 12. And um, I mean, there are certain gaps though that are really, really wide. But that does remind me of speaking of like trigonometry for speaking of wide gaps. Speaking of trigonometry for I mean, this does have a point though. I think that um well, I tried to get baby Einstein the shit out of my kids and thinking like, oh, this game, what, shoots and ladders is for five to eight year olds, but I bet my two-year-old can do it. There&#39;s that voice again for you. And I would get the games that were age inappropriate and try to like level up, and ultimately it was like, nope, this is too fucking hard for them. Why am I forcing this? It actually creates more pain in the acidness than it does like stimulation. So, like, it&#39;s tough. Those age-appropriate levels are actually pretty accurate. And if your kid is already doing trigonometry, good for fucking you, go listen to another podcast. So, speaking of another podcast, what won&#39;t you get on another podcast is dad hacks. Actually, I&#39;m sure there&#39;s plenty of podcasts out there doing dad hacks, but whatever, fuck them. You&#39;re listening to this one. So I um have started looking at a little bit of dad hack um uh advice from other dads. Some of it, well, basically it&#39;s all the same, honestly, but some of it is truly bullshit, and sometimes it&#39;s actually kind of interesting. I&#39;m gonna give a shout-out to a guy with a blog called Year of the Dad blog. Blog, I know. So how 2003. No. Well, this was from 2019, and it is a blog that doesn&#39;t look like it&#39;s around anymore. So sorry, bud. Hope life&#39;s still good for you. But it was the first thing that came up when you uh Googled dad hacks, interestingly. And I did like two of them that he had, which were sunscreen. We&#39;ve probably already talked about this. Make sure with a toddler you put on sunscreen while they&#39;re strapped into their car seat. Because then, well, uh for obvious reasons, that&#39;s a good dad hack, I thought. And then also he suggested opening up a Gmail account for your kid or having an email account and emailing them uh periodically throughout their lives. And so then when they&#39;re, you know, when they uh actually check their own email at age, well, you know, five, if your kid is already reading at an eighth grade level and doing trigonometry, but 13 for the rest of us, um, they already have a whole bunch of messages from you. And um, who knows what kind of time warp that can be. So how very sweet. David: 12:05 You know what&#39;s not sweet? Our top three list. Gavin: 12:08 Top three! David: 12:10 Gate triarks, top three list, three, two, one. So this week I think it&#39;s your list, yeah? Gavin: 12:16 Yeah, it is. I want to know what are the top three little childhood traumas you want your kid to go through to, you know, grow up and be good people. Okay. So for me, number three is getting called out for stealing by a store employee. David: 12:34 Good luck. You recently had this, didn&#39;t you? Sure did. He&#39;s still doing it. We&#39;re still finding little things. And we found last night our babysitter came over and we found that she he had taken her chapstick and hid it in one of his little cups. Oh shit. So yeah. Gavin: 12:47 Yeah. You just need, I feel like you need one store clerk to be like little kid, and you as a parent, you like shove that kid into the store clerk&#39;s face. Totally. And you get them called out for it. Um, number two, getting caught badmouthing a friend. Oh, like getting caught red-handed, I think it&#39;s a lifelong skill um lesson in knowing what it feels like. And I, this was totally I had a non-friend, a frenemy, and I were bad mouthing a friend. The frenemy then three-way called me because it was 1980. Oh my god. 1990, and then had me repeat what I said, which was bullshit. I might have like, I don&#39;t know why I was saying, I was trying to impress the friend of me, and the friend was actually on the phone as I badmouthed the friend saying that I hated this friend. And I believe, but I have never by the way, we are still friends today, not the friend of me, fuck that person. Um, but we are still friends today, and um, I learned from that process for sure. Number one, um, get caught cheating. Get caught cheating early, learn from the lesson, don&#39;t do it again. Um, I got caught cheating uh embarrassingly. Oh my god. David: 14:07 Do I really want to on your like if I can be a podcaster exam? That&#39;s not how you cheated. Gavin: 14:13 I got caught cheating in high school because I thought I was too good to memorize the names of the Supreme Court. So I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin&apos;s kid isn&apos;t leading the pack, David&apos;s kids need trash on the table to eat, we rank the top 3 generational traumas we want our kids to experience, and we are joined by actor, writer, and founder of “Meditation for Assholes&#34; Jason Daley Kennedy who talks to us about his 3 kids, how get got into wellness, and sets David straight as to which asshole he was writing about. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, so normally we start our cold opens with, you know, Gavin fucking up something or some disaster happening. But I just received a voice mail from former guest of the podcast, Lorian McKenna, and it is borderline perfect. So I figured this is the only way I want to start the show. So here goes. SPEAKER_00: 0:20 I just want you to know what an awesome parent I am. I just lost my shit in the car on the way to school and called Lindsay an asshole. Um, so I&#39;m pretty good. Um, if you want to get any parenting tips from me uh on how to raise a psychopath or to emotionally alienate your kid, uh just let me know because I feel like I&#39;m experts at it. David: 0:44 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:59 So I was recently on a plane all by myself. As we know, that&#39;s daddy&#39;s number one spa treatment, right? And it was fantastic. And I um ordered a drink, big surprise, watched a movie, et cetera, et cetera. But I was found uh dumbfounded by how much it is so hard for me to focus on a plane. Now I love plane time, especially now because I can just do what I want to do, right? And I just get to do whatever the fuck I want to do. So I wanted to watch a movie. So I started to watch Bros, the movie. Have you seen Bros? I have seen Bros, yeah. I mean, it&#39;s so heartwarming, so charming, so titillating, just dirty enough. It it&#39;s totally entertaining. Everybody should watch it, but not on a plane, necessarily. But then I think I&#39;m having a double standard here. Like, I suddenly got super embarrassed. I didn&#39;t finish the movie. The first sex scene, I&#39;m like, oh my god, other people are watching me watch this movie. David: 1:55 Because is it because like a flight attendant walked up to you and said, sir, you&#39;re fully erect? Do you need a blanket? And you&#39;re like, no, thanks, it&#39;s not that cold. And she&#39;s like, take the fucking blanket. So 23E. Gavin: 2:11 No, thank God. But adjacent to that reminds me of that. I find it also very difficult to ever focus on my own movie in a plane because all I want to see is to what 22D and 22F are watching. Yeah. I cannot. And I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a good one. David: 2:25 Even if it&#39;s just like where the plane is, it&#39;s way more interesting. Gavin: 2:29 Totally distracting. David: 2:30 Oh, it&#39;s 224 at our landing location. Cool. Gavin: 2:32 Oh, wait, oh yeah. Oh, wait, what are they? Oh, what are they watching? Maybe it&#39;s more interesting than what I&#39;m watching. I mean, there&#39;s so much FOMO in watching a movie on a plane. I just want to have seven screens going at the same time. And only one of them should be X-rated adjacent uh sex scenes, which then bringing it back to bros makes me think if I were watching, I was gonna say Titanic and the sex scene, but that&#39;s obviously whatever. That&#39;s sex from 1994. But like, if I were watching a straight sex scene, I&#39;d be like, whatever, dude. I&#39;m watching sex on a plane. But it I felt self-conscious watching bros. Isn&#39;t that ridiculous? I need to get over my own inner inner um uh homophobia, I suppose. But anyway. David: 3:13 The headline, Gavin, is Gavin Lodge watches gay porn in public. Gavin: 3:18 I mean, that&#39;s basically what you just and also also goes down an intellectual rabbit hole about what it means to watch gay sex in porn in public and also watching other people&#39;s movies. Um that&#39;s that&#39;s I m]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin&apos;s kid isn&apos;t leading the pack, David&apos;s kids need trash on the table to eat, we rank the top 3 generational traumas we want our kids to experience, and we are joined by actor, writer, and founder of “Meditation for Assholes&#34; Jason Daley Kennedy who talks to us about his 3 kids, how get got into wellness, and sets David straight as to which asshole he was writing about. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, so normally we start our cold opens with, you know, Gavin fucking up something or some disaster happening. But I just received a voice mail from former guest of the podcast, Lorian McKenna, and it is borderline perfect. So I figured this is the only way I want to start the show. So here goes. SPEAKER_00: 0:20 I just want you to know what an awesome parent I am. I just lost my shit in the car on the way to school and called]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with author and Grandpa Kevin O&#8217;Connor</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-author-and-grandpa-kevin-oconnor/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-15153717</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is gay for flowers, David apologizes to our listener, we rank the top 3 things that were true when we were kids that are no longer true, and this week our extra special guest judge is author and GILF Kevin O&apos;Connor, who talks to us about growing up in a funeral home, what being straight in San Francisco in the 80&apos;s was like, and why he thinks parenting is like &#34;poopy balloons.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yes, but uh please listener go out and find five friends and make them gatriarchs as well, and that that&#39;ll help us get f closer and closer to those millions that we are gonna immediately donate to um the uh all sorts of equality efforts. David: 0:15 Are you proud of that one? Is that what you want to put on your appetite? Gavin: 0:20 Should we go back and record it? I&#39;m kidding. David: 0:22 Okay, so anyway, uh oh no, that&#39;s a cold open, Gavin. You know how cold opens work. What happens after you ruin something? And this is KTRX. Gavin: 0:54 Just you wait. There we go. It is so bonkers. And every day, frankly, every day of since my kids were probably one, I wake up and I so often think, oh my god, how many minutes until I get to go back to bed? Which is a terrible way to live life. But springtime, I mean, it&#39;s just like it everything gets piled on. There&#39;s a band concert, then there&#39;s a choir concert, then there&#39;s a field trip, and then there&#39;s and everybody&#39;s so busy. And here I am complaining about being busy. But it is, it&#39;s real, man. It&#39;s real. And were our parents complaining about this in the 60s? David: 1:32 No, they were smoking with the windows rolled up. Are you with me? They were smoking, and then they were just letting us live outside, and then they&#39;d flash the lights on the porch and we&#39;d come running home. Gavin: 1:42 That was it. They were not overwhelmed in the springtime by concerts and projects, were they? No, because I don&#39;t know. I I do remember April and May being stressful as a high schooler, but that was high school. I don&#39;t have high schoolers. But I also had the connectivity, too. David: 1:55 Like they didn&#39;t have connections to all the things. They could, you couldn&#39;t have immediate access to anybody at any time. So I think they were like, I don&#39;t know. I think I saw a form about a field trip. I don&#39;t know. I think he&#39;s in Disney World today. Gavin: 2:04 And yet at the same time, yet at the same time, that&#39;s growing up in Florida, huh? But um, at the same time, my kid can&#39;t remember a uh field trip form to save his life right now. I mean, not at all. Not at all. David: 2:16 In fact, I But there&#39;s like portals now and emails and all that kind of stuff. This is like they would hand you an eight and a half by eleven piece of paper that you had to have an adult sign. Gavin: 2:26 And you were trained from kindergarten to know that that goes home, it gets signed and it comes back the next day. I never missed out on any of those. Now, I don&#39;t know what my kid&#39;s supposed to be doing from day to day. Who knows? No idea. Anyway, so spring, David, it&#39;s just so much, but I&#39;m very happy to be here with you and all of our listener. David: 2:47 Oh, well, um, I want to tell you a quick story about um my son, who is disgusting. I&#39;m just gonna say it. He&#39;s disgusting. Um, he brought a rock in from outside and he was telling me a story and he was putting it in his mouth. I said, Emmet, we cannot put rocks in our mouths. And my daughter, two-year-old daughter, who is very influenced by her brother, right, um, came up. And so I was gonna make a point of it. I was like, right, Hannah, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. And I was like, so Emmett, tell us, what do we not put, you know, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. I said, Do we put rocks in our ears? He goes, No, we don&#39;t put rocks in our ears. And so we&#39;re going through all the things, and then we&#39;re kind of done. And then I see Emmett kind of looking off and thinking, and then he goes, Oh, and we don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes. And I was like, correct. We don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes. Thank you for informing your sister of that. Did Gavin, did Uncle Gavin teach you that word? Because, yeah, so we don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes, Gavin, just so you know. Um good to know. And thank you, Emmett. Thank you so much for that, Emmett. So I want to do it really quickly before we move on to our next topic. I want to apologize to our listener. Gavin: 3:53 So we um have we ever had to issue an apology before? David: 3:57 I don&#39;t think you&#39;ve been that offensive. No, this is a this is a bad one. So we we here at Gatriarchs are um really raking in the dough, if I&#39;m being honest. We&#39;re making a lot of money now. We&#39;ve already far surpassed last year&#39;s goal of 77 cents. So, but part of that is we distribute the show on a platform called Buzz Sprout. You don&#39;t need to know what it is, it just distributes the podcast to all the places. And they offer an ad program where they&#39;re like, we&#39;ll put ads on your show and then we&#39;ll give you, I think it&#39;s three cents a download. Oh no, 1.3 cents a download. So it&#39;s very, very little amount of money. Right. But the problem is they don&#39;t tell, they won&#39;t let you choose where the ads go. They put them in, they use AI to put them in your show automatically. Of course. And I listened to some other podcasts that uses Budspro this Bud Sprout advertising platform, and it usually comes in at a place that feels okay. I was listening to our last episode, Gavin. I don&#39;t know if you ever have listened to our show. It doesn&#39;t sound like what show? Yeah, exactly. But that it was literally in the middle of a sentence, it cut out and did an ad, and then it cut back in, and it was the middle of our top three list. And so to Oh, yes. Yeah. Gavin: 5:04 Yes, I did know that that does happen. I didn&#39;t listen to the last one. Wow, but here we go. David: 5:08 Um, but so to our listener out there, I apologize. I have zero control over this. But what what you can do to help us is get us big, big advertising guys, and then we can have them insert their ads in places that make sense, and we can rake in the millions of dollars we&#39;re gonna be raking in. But for now, we&#39;re on the bottom of the barrel, we&#39;re on the poor person plan, we&#39;re on the Medicaid of podcasts, so we&#39;re just having to accept what comes our way. Um, but I just wanted to issue that apology to our listener. Sorry, but that&#39;s what&#39;s gonna happen. Gavin: 5:35 Which we will immediately donate to the Trevor Project or the HRC. Yeah, right. And not park it for ourselves by any strength. Are you talking about Hillary Rodham Clinton? Yeah, I sure am. David: 5:46 Because, girl, she&#39;s still out there. She doesn&#39;t live far from us either. She, you know, she looks she looks pretty close. She lives in Westchester. Gavin: 5:52 I w if we can make her a listener, we&#39;ll go to her house and um interview her. So that was a random aside. Okay, yes, please save us from the pit I&#39;m digging here. God damn it. David: 6:02 So, um, in other news, you know who doesn&#39;t live near us and makes a lot of money? Colton Underwood. So you all out. Remind us, yeah, remind us who that is. So Colton Underwood was a bachelor. He famously was on The Bachelor, and then he was the bachelor, and then he had this like messy breakup with the girl he chose, and then he came out as gay, and then he got married immediately, and then he had a reality show about finding a date, and it was just like it was so much all the time. But it was kind of fun for people who are in the Bachelorette franchise, but also a lot of us gay folks were a little eye roll y about like the social media of it all and like the fact that his reality show came out so quickly. But anyway, all of that aside, Colton Underwood and his husband are going to be dads. And so they just announced this this past week about them doing um gestational surrogacy, and that him and his husband are expecting their first son, I believe, in October. Gavin: 6:53 But I don&#39;t know. Which we are we have nothing but great things to say about, right? Yay! David: 6:58 Yes, it&#39;s welcome to the club. You, your, your Gatecharch&#39;s thank you note will be in the email. Um, it&#39;s all coming to you. But what was blowing my mind about this article, I don&#39;t know if you read it, but it was talking about like, oh, they, you know, they experienced some setbacks, they&#39;re doing surrogacy, they finally got pregnant. And then they said something. They said, sorry, I want to pull it up and read it out loud. They said, soon enough, they found a suitable surrogate and invested another$350,000 in the process to turn their dream of having a family into a reality. Gavin: 7:33 Wait, we have talked to a lot of surrogacy folks, and we always talk about how, hey, it is definitely expensive, but 350k? David: 7:46 And the way it&#39;s written, it says another 350k. So are we talking 700k? So they talk in the article about they had some sperm issues, so they had to do like, what is it called? Um ixy or ice, the like sperm, whatever. Anyway, but I was like, 350, the most expensive journey I&#39;ve ever heard of after it&#39;s done was like$250,000. And that&#39;s because they had like five miscarriages and multiple surrogates, and it&#39;s like a big thing. They haven&#39;t even had a child yet. Yeah. They&#39;re they&#39;re already this far into like what is happening. Gavin: 8:20 I mean, on the you are reminded, you are reminded uh there are there are the haves and the have nots in this world. Or are they taking advantage of him because he&#39;s a celebrity? Totally. Do you know what I mean? Then there&#39;s that for sure. Anyway, for sure. Wow, Colton. So what I love Colton. I love that you brought us into the gay news factor, and I cannot wait to welcome Colton and his hubby to our show. So um, shout out to anybody who knows Colton out there, um, send him our way, please. Um, but also in other gay news, did you know that Iraq, uh, the Iraqi legislature hates the gays? David: 8:54 The Iraq and the Iran, such as. Uh Do you remember that video from like the early mid-2000s? Yeah. Um, I did not I did not know that they hated the gays. Gavin: 9:04 The Iraqi legislature has recently illegalized sex with a partner of the same gender and will prosecute you with a 10 to 15 year um prison sentence. Uh. Which, I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it&#39;s almost less serious than I would have expected, frankly. I mean, you have a low bar for these things. David: 9:24 Like, you&#39;re like, well, it wasn&#39;t you didn&#39;t get beheaded. It&#39;s like, well, bro, the bar. But also, there goes my fucking vacation plans to fucking. I know, to Baghdad, right. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:33 Exactly. I mean, just when Iraq hasn&#39;t been in the news for a long time, which is frankly a good thing. It&#39;s good that it seems to be a country getting its act together, and congratulations, and good for them. And sorry we screwed everything up for you for a lot of time there. But really, are we going after the gays in Iraq in 2024? David: 9:48 I just feel like maybe it&#39;s because I&#39;m insulated from a lot of the culture of that side of the world as it is now. But it just seems so boring nowadays to introduce anti-gay legislature. Yeah. I get it if it&#39;s on the books or if it&#39;s already part of your culture. But if you&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m gonna make a change and it&#39;s gonna go backwards, I&#39;m just like that&#39;s easily the most boring thing I&#39;ve ever heard myself. Gavin: 10:10 Well, and what just imagine whatever uh changes might come to states here in the United States in years to come if we should go down that path and we&#39;re gonna be like, wow, congratulations, bigoted state, yeah. Iraq. Yeah, you&#39;re like Iraq in 2080, 24. Alabama is the Iraq of the United States, as I&#39;ve always said. But don&#39;t but don&#39;t worry, we&#39;re not gonna have to worry that about that because everything&#39;s gonna be fine in November. And also everything&#39;s fine because we can thank German soccer players for coming out. There was a big old announcement for some German footballing team that they were gonna make some big group announcement on um, let&#39;s see, on May, oh, 17th. And they were all gonna come out en masse. And then you dig deeper into the news and you and you look at the comments, frankly, and you see, oh no, no, no. This is just a way to sell clicks, and it&#39;s this clickbait because every year some sports team in Europe, bless them, say that a bunch of them are gonna come out, and then that actually never happens. So that&#39;s that&#39;s my fake gay news of the week. I did read. David: 11:14 Sports, I feel like sports culture has changed in a really amazing way. We&#39;re like being gay or being gay and playing sports or whatever is like so cool now. I think to the straight players. Like, I don&#39;t know if this is true. This is just my like total, like uh like like junior guest, but it feels like if you&#39;re a gay person on a football team, it&#39;s like a-okay with everyone, and I think that&#39;s really awesome because I I mean, I hope you&#39;re right about that. Gavin: 11:42 Uh I don&#39;t know. There would be some who would take you to task for it, though. I have a feeling. I mean, what about the dude, the kicker from the Kansas City Chiefs, who like gave his bigoted homophobic misogynists, it&#39;s talking about boring. Again, so fucking boring. David: 11:56 You guys are like, oh, we should take away women&#39;s right to vote and contraception and gay right to illegate marriage. I&#39;m like, guys, this is literally everything. This was like the the the plot for every fucking TV show 10 years ago. Do we have anything new in the tank? This is so boring. Well, um, well, David, do we have anything new in the tank? We do. We have something new and helpful, and it&#39;s our dad hack of the week, which is coming from me, which is really rare because I am not good at this. But something I&#39;ve learned lately um is when you&#39;re asked a question from your kid that is either hard to explain or you don&#39;t want to explain. So, like, am I gonna die? Or where do babies come from? But at a time where they&#39;re not quite ready to understand that. What I&#39;ve learned, and this is obviously from TikTok, is until before you answer that question, you say, Well, what do you think happens? SPEAKER_03: 12:46 Do you think you&#39;re gonna die? David: 12:47 What do you think? And because what I found is that he always, or I&#39;m talking about my son, he always has an answer. He&#39;s always been stewing with an idea. Lately it&#39;s been, if I&#39;m being totally honest, like, is grandma gonna die? Is grandpa gonna die? Are you gonna die? Am I gonna die? There&#39;s a lot of death in the world. And nobody&#39;s died in our life recently, but it&#39;s just kind of on the tip of his tongue. And so I&#39;ve asked him, I&#39;m like, well, what do you, do you, what do you think? And it&#39;s really gotten me out of a couple pickles. Now, I&#39;m not totally avoiding talking to my child, but I do try to make it a practice to avoid talking to my child. Gavin: 13:17 And you want to make it age appropriate and also try to try to figure out what they are really getting at? Because in a lot of ways, they just want to verify information they totally have. So yeah, that&#39;s uh I love that dad hack. That deserved its own theme song. Let&#39;s revisit it. You know what else has a theme song? Tell me. Our top three list. David: 13:33 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. And that&#39;s you. Just does everyone know that that&#39;s Gavin singing and your husband playing the piano and composing...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week Gavin is gay for flowers, David apologizes to our listener, we rank the top 3 things that were true when we were kids that are no longer true, and this week our extra special guest judge is author and GILF Kevin O&apos;Connor, who talks to us a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week Gavin is gay for flowers, David apologizes to our listener, we rank the top 3 things that were true when we were kids that are no longer true, and this week our extra special guest judge is author and GILF Kevin O&apos;Connor, who talks to us about growing up in a funeral home, what being straight in San Francisco in the 80&apos;s was like, and why he thinks parenting is like &#34;poopy balloons.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yes, but uh please listener go out and find five friends and make them gatriarchs as well, and that that&#39;ll help us get f closer and closer to those millions that we are gonna immediately donate to um the uh all sorts of equality efforts. David: 0:15 Are you proud of that one? Is that what you want to put on your appetite? Gavin: 0:20 Should we go back and record it? I&#39;m kidding. David: 0:22 Okay, so anyway, uh oh no, that&#39;s a cold open, Gavin. You know how cold opens work. What happens after you ruin something? And this is KTRX. Gavin: 0:54 Just you wait. There we go. It is so bonkers. And every day, frankly, every day of since my kids were probably one, I wake up and I so often think, oh my god, how many minutes until I get to go back to bed? Which is a terrible way to live life. But springtime, I mean, it&#39;s just like it everything gets piled on. There&#39;s a band concert, then there&#39;s a choir concert, then there&#39;s a field trip, and then there&#39;s and everybody&#39;s so busy. And here I am complaining about being busy. But it is, it&#39;s real, man. It&#39;s real. And were our parents complaining about this in the 60s? David: 1:32 No, they were smoking with the windows rolled up. Are you with me? They were smoking, and then they were just letting us live outside, and then they&#39;d flash the lights on the porch and we&#39;d come running home. Gavin: 1:42 That was it. They were not overwhelmed in the springtime by concerts and projects, were they? No, because I don&#39;t know. I I do remember April and May being stressful as a high schooler, but that was high school. I don&#39;t have high schoolers. But I also had the connectivity, too. David: 1:55 Like they didn&#39;t have connections to all the things. They could, you couldn&#39;t have immediate access to anybody at any time. So I think they were like, I don&#39;t know. I think I saw a form about a field trip. I don&#39;t know. I think he&#39;s in Disney World today. Gavin: 2:04 And yet at the same time, yet at the same time, that&#39;s growing up in Florida, huh? But um, at the same time, my kid can&#39;t remember a uh field trip form to save his life right now. I mean, not at all. Not at all. David: 2:16 In fact, I But there&#39;s like portals now and emails and all that kind of stuff. This is like they would hand you an eight and a half by eleven piece of paper that you had to have an adult sign. Gavin: 2:26 And you were trained from kindergarten to know that that goes home, it gets signed and it comes back the next day. I never missed out on any of those. Now, I don&#39;t know what my kid&#39;s supposed to be doing from day to day. Who knows? No idea. Anyway, so spring, David, it&#39;s just so much, but I&#39;m very happy to be here with you and all of our listener. David: 2:47 Oh, well, um, I want to tell you a quick story about um my son, who is disgusting. I&#39;m just gonna say it. He&#39;s disgusting. Um, he brought a rock in from outside and he was telling me a story and he was putting it in his mouth. I said, Emmet, we cannot put rocks in our mouths. And my daughter, two-year-old daughter, who is very influenced by her brother, right, um, came up. And so I was gonna make a point of it. I was like, right, Hannah, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. And I was like, so Emmett, tell us, what do we not put, you know, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. I said, Do we put rocks in our ears? He goes, No, we don&#39;t put rocks in our ears. And so we&#39;re going through all the things, and then we&#39;re kind of done. And then I see Emmett kind of looking off and thinking, and then he goes, Oh, and we don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes. And I was like, correct. We don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes. Thank you for informing your sister of that. Did Gavin, did Uncle Gavin teach you that word? Because, yeah, so we don&#39;t put rocks in our buttholes, Gavin, just so you know. Um good to know. And thank you, Emmett. Thank you so much for that, Emmett. So I want to do it really quickly before we move on to our next topic. I want to apologize to our listener. Gavin: 3:53 So we um have we ever had to issue an apology before? David: 3:57 I don&#39;t think you&#39;ve been that offensive. No, this is a this is a bad one. So we we here at Gatriarchs are um really raking in the dough, if I&#39;m being honest. We&#39;re making a lot of money now. We&#39;ve already far surpassed last year&#39;s goal of 77 cents. So, but part of that is we distribute the show on a platform called Buzz Sprout. You don&#39;t need to know what it is, it just distributes the podcast to all the places. And they offer an ad program where they&#39;re like, we&#39;ll put ads on your show and then we&#39;ll give you, I think it&#39;s three cents a download. Oh no, 1.3 cents a download. So it&#39;s very, very little amount of money. Right. But the problem is they don&#39;t tell, they won&#39;t let you choose where the ads go. They put them in, they use AI to put them in your show automatically. Of course. And I listened to some other podcasts that uses Budspro this Bud Sprout advertising platform, and it usually comes in at a place that feels okay. I was listening to our last episode, Gavin. I don&#39;t know if you ever have listened to our show. It doesn&#39;t sound like what show? Yeah, exactly. But that it was literally in the middle of a sentence, it cut out and did an ad, and then it cut back in, and it was the middle of our top three list. And so to Oh, yes. Yeah. Gavin: 5:04 Yes, I did know that that does happen. I didn&#39;t listen to the last one. Wow, but here we go. David: 5:08 Um, but so to our listener out there, I apologize. I have zero control over this. But what what you can do to help us is get us big, big advertising guys, and then we can have them insert their ads in places that make sense, and we can rake in the millions of dollars we&#39;re gonna be raking in. But for now, we&#39;re on the bottom of the barrel, we&#39;re on the poor person plan, we&#39;re on the Medicaid of podcasts, so we&#39;re just having to accept what comes our way. Um, but I just wanted to issue that apology to our listener. Sorry, but that&#39;s what&#39;s gonna happen. Gavin: 5:35 Which we will immediately donate to the Trevor Project or the HRC. Yeah, right. And not park it for ourselves by any strength. Are you talking about Hillary Rodham Clinton? Yeah, I sure am. David: 5:46 Because, girl, she&#39;s still out there. She doesn&#39;t live far from us either. She, you know, she looks she looks pretty close. She lives in Westchester. Gavin: 5:52 I w if we can make her a listener, we&#39;ll go to her house and um interview her. So that was a random aside. Okay, yes, please save us from the pit I&#39;m digging here. God damn it. David: 6:02 So, um, in other news, you know who doesn&#39;t live near us and makes a lot of money? Colton Underwood. So you all out. Remind us, yeah, remind us who that is. So Colton Underwood was a bachelor. He famously was on The Bachelor, and then he was the bachelor, and then he had this like messy breakup with the girl he chose, and then he came out as gay, and then he got married immediately, and then he had a reality show about finding a date, and it was just like it was so much all the time. But it was kind of fun for people who are in the Bachelorette franchise, but also a lot of us gay folks were a little eye roll y about like the social media of it all and like the fact that his reality show came out so quickly. But anyway, all of that aside, Colton Underwood and his husband are going to be dads. And so they just announced this this past week about them doing um gestational surrogacy, and that him and his husband are expecting their first son, I believe, in October. Gavin: 6:53 But I don&#39;t know. Which we are we have nothing but great things to say about, right? Yay! David: 6:58 Yes, it&#39;s welcome to the club. You, your, your Gatecharch&#39;s thank you note will be in the email. Um, it&#39;s all coming to you. But what was blowing my mind about this article, I don&#39;t know if you read it, but it was talking about like, oh, they, you know, they experienced some setbacks, they&#39;re doing surrogacy, they finally got pregnant. And then they said something. They said, sorry, I want to pull it up and read it out loud. They said, soon enough, they found a suitable surrogate and invested another$350,000 in the process to turn their dream of having a family into a reality. Gavin: 7:33 Wait, we have talked to a lot of surrogacy folks, and we always talk about how, hey, it is definitely expensive, but 350k? David: 7:46 And the way it&#39;s written, it says another 350k. So are we talking 700k? So they talk in the article about they had some sperm issues, so they had to do like, what is it called? Um ixy or ice, the like sperm, whatever. Anyway, but I was like, 350, the most expensive journey I&#39;ve ever heard of after it&#39;s done was like$250,000. And that&#39;s because they had like five miscarriages and multiple surrogates, and it&#39;s like a big thing. They haven&#39;t even had a child yet. Yeah. They&#39;re they&#39;re already this far into like what is happening. Gavin: 8:20 I mean, on the you are reminded, you are reminded uh there are there are the haves and the have nots in this world. Or are they taking advantage of him because he&#39;s a celebrity? Totally. Do you know what I mean? Then there&#39;s that for sure. Anyway, for sure. Wow, Colton. So what I love Colton. I love that you brought us into the gay news factor, and I cannot wait to welcome Colton and his hubby to our show. So um, shout out to anybody who knows Colton out there, um, send him our way, please. Um, but also in other gay news, did you know that Iraq, uh, the Iraqi legislature hates the gays? David: 8:54 The Iraq and the Iran, such as. Uh Do you remember that video from like the early mid-2000s? Yeah. Um, I did not I did not know that they hated the gays. Gavin: 9:04 The Iraqi legislature has recently illegalized sex with a partner of the same gender and will prosecute you with a 10 to 15 year um prison sentence. Uh. Which, I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it&#39;s almost less serious than I would have expected, frankly. I mean, you have a low bar for these things. David: 9:24 Like, you&#39;re like, well, it wasn&#39;t you didn&#39;t get beheaded. It&#39;s like, well, bro, the bar. But also, there goes my fucking vacation plans to fucking. I know, to Baghdad, right. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:33 Exactly. I mean, just when Iraq hasn&#39;t been in the news for a long time, which is frankly a good thing. It&#39;s good that it seems to be a country getting its act together, and congratulations, and good for them. And sorry we screwed everything up for you for a lot of time there. But really, are we going after the gays in Iraq in 2024? David: 9:48 I just feel like maybe it&#39;s because I&#39;m insulated from a lot of the culture of that side of the world as it is now. But it just seems so boring nowadays to introduce anti-gay legislature. Yeah. I get it if it&#39;s on the books or if it&#39;s already part of your culture. But if you&#39;re like, oh, I&#39;m gonna make a change and it&#39;s gonna go backwards, I&#39;m just like that&#39;s easily the most boring thing I&#39;ve ever heard myself. Gavin: 10:10 Well, and what just imagine whatever uh changes might come to states here in the United States in years to come if we should go down that path and we&#39;re gonna be like, wow, congratulations, bigoted state, yeah. Iraq. Yeah, you&#39;re like Iraq in 2080, 24. Alabama is the Iraq of the United States, as I&#39;ve always said. But don&#39;t but don&#39;t worry, we&#39;re not gonna have to worry that about that because everything&#39;s gonna be fine in November. And also everything&#39;s fine because we can thank German soccer players for coming out. There was a big old announcement for some German footballing team that they were gonna make some big group announcement on um, let&#39;s see, on May, oh, 17th. And they were all gonna come out en masse. And then you dig deeper into the news and you and you look at the comments, frankly, and you see, oh no, no, no. This is just a way to sell clicks, and it&#39;s this clickbait because every year some sports team in Europe, bless them, say that a bunch of them are gonna come out, and then that actually never happens. So that&#39;s that&#39;s my fake gay news of the week. I did read. David: 11:14 Sports, I feel like sports culture has changed in a really amazing way. We&#39;re like being gay or being gay and playing sports or whatever is like so cool now. I think to the straight players. Like, I don&#39;t know if this is true. This is just my like total, like uh like like junior guest, but it feels like if you&#39;re a gay person on a football team, it&#39;s like a-okay with everyone, and I think that&#39;s really awesome because I I mean, I hope you&#39;re right about that. Gavin: 11:42 Uh I don&#39;t know. There would be some who would take you to task for it, though. I have a feeling. I mean, what about the dude, the kicker from the Kansas City Chiefs, who like gave his bigoted homophobic misogynists, it&#39;s talking about boring. Again, so fucking boring. David: 11:56 You guys are like, oh, we should take away women&#39;s right to vote and contraception and gay right to illegate marriage. I&#39;m like, guys, this is literally everything. This was like the the the plot for every fucking TV show 10 years ago. Do we have anything new in the tank? This is so boring. Well, um, well, David, do we have anything new in the tank? We do. We have something new and helpful, and it&#39;s our dad hack of the week, which is coming from me, which is really rare because I am not good at this. But something I&#39;ve learned lately um is when you&#39;re asked a question from your kid that is either hard to explain or you don&#39;t want to explain. So, like, am I gonna die? Or where do babies come from? But at a time where they&#39;re not quite ready to understand that. What I&#39;ve learned, and this is obviously from TikTok, is until before you answer that question, you say, Well, what do you think happens? SPEAKER_03: 12:46 Do you think you&#39;re gonna die? David: 12:47 What do you think? And because what I found is that he always, or I&#39;m talking about my son, he always has an answer. He&#39;s always been stewing with an idea. Lately it&#39;s been, if I&#39;m being totally honest, like, is grandma gonna die? Is grandpa gonna die? Are you gonna die? Am I gonna die? There&#39;s a lot of death in the world. And nobody&#39;s died in our life recently, but it&#39;s just kind of on the tip of his tongue. And so I&#39;ve asked him, I&#39;m like, well, what do you, do you, what do you think? And it&#39;s really gotten me out of a couple pickles. Now, I&#39;m not totally avoiding talking to my child, but I do try to make it a practice to avoid talking to my child. Gavin: 13:17 And you want to make it age appropriate and also try to try to figure out what they are really getting at? Because in a lot of ways, they just want to verify information they totally have. So yeah, that&#39;s uh I love that dad hack. That deserved its own theme song. Let&#39;s revisit it. You know what else has a theme song? Tell me. Our top three list. David: 13:33 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. And that&#39;s you. Just does everyone know that that&#39;s Gavin singing and your husband playing the piano and composing...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week Gavin is gay for flowers, David apologizes to our listener, we rank the top 3 things that were true when we were kids that are no longer true, and this week our extra special guest judge is author and GILF Kevin O&apos;Connor, who talks to us about growing up in a funeral home, what being straight in San Francisco in the 80&apos;s was like, and why he thinks parenting is like &#34;poopy balloons.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yes, but uh please listener go out and find five friends and make them gatriarchs as well, and that that&#39;ll help us get f closer and closer to those millions that we are gonna immediately donate to um the uh all sorts of equality efforts. David: 0:15 Are you proud of that one? Is that what you want to put on your appetite? Gavin: 0:20 Should we go back and record it? I&#39;m kidding. David: 0:22 Okay, so anyway, uh oh no, that&#39;s a cold open, Gavin. You know how cold opens work. What happens after you ruin something? And this is KTRX. Gavin: 0:54 Just you wait. There we go. It is so bonkers. And every day, frankly, every day of since my kids were probably one, I wake up and I so often think, oh my god, how many minutes until I get to go back to bed? Which is a terrible way to live life. But springtime, I mean, it&#39;s just like it everything gets piled on. There&#39;s a band concert, then there&#39;s a choir concert, then there&#39;s a field trip, and then there&#39;s and everybody&#39;s so busy. And here I am complaining about being busy. But it is, it&#39;s real, man. It&#39;s real. And were our parents complaining about this in the 60s? David: 1:32 No, they were smoking with the windows rolled up. Are you with me? They were smoking, and then they were just letting us live outside, and then they&#39;d flash the lights on the porch and we&#39;d come running home. Gavin: 1:42 That was it. They were not overwhelmed in the springtime by concerts and projects, were they? No, because I don&#39;t know. I I do remember April and May being stressful as a high schooler, but that was high school. I don&#39;t have high schoolers. But I also had the connectivity, too. David: 1:55 Like they didn&#39;t have connections to all the things. They could, you couldn&#39;t have immediate access to anybody at any time. So I think they were like, I don&#39;t know. I think I saw a form about a field trip. I don&#39;t know. I think he&#39;s in Disney World today. Gavin: 2:04 And yet at the same time, yet at the same time, that&#39;s growing up in Florida, huh? But um, at the same time, my kid can&#39;t remember a uh field trip form to save his life right now. I mean, not at all. Not at all. David: 2:16 In fact, I But there&#39;s like portals now and emails and all that kind of stuff. This is like they would hand you an eight and a half by eleven piece of paper that you had to have an adult sign. Gavin: 2:26 And you were trained from kindergarten to know that that goes home, it gets signed and it comes back the next day. I never missed out on any of those. Now, I don&#39;t know what my kid&#39;s supposed to be doing from day to day. Who knows? No idea. Anyway, so spring, David, it&#39;s just so much, but I&#39;m very happy to be here with you and all of our listener. David: 2:47 Oh, well, um, I want to tell you a quick story about um my son, who is disgusting. I&#39;m just gonna say it. He&#39;s disgusting. Um, he brought a rock in from outside and he was telling me a story and he was putting it in his mouth. I said, Emmet, we cannot put rocks in our mouths. And my daughter, two-year-old daughter, who is very influenced by her brother, right, um, came up. And so I was gonna make a point of it. I was like, right, Hannah, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. And I was like, so Emmett, tell us, what do we not put, you know, we don&#39;t put rocks in our mouth. I said, Do we put rocks ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is gay for flowers, David apologizes to our listener, we rank the top 3 things that were true when we were kids that are no longer true, and this week our extra special guest judge is author and GILF Kevin O&apos;Connor, who talks to us about growing up in a funeral home, what being straight in San Francisco in the 80&apos;s was like, and why he thinks parenting is like &#34;poopy balloons.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yes, but uh please listener go out and find five friends and make them gatriarchs as well, and that that&#39;ll help us get f closer and closer to those millions that we are gonna immediately donate to um the uh all sorts of equality efforts. David: 0:15 Are you proud of that one? Is that what you want to put on your appetite? Gavin: 0:20 Should we go back and record it? I&#39;m kidding. David: 0:22 Okay, so anyway, uh oh n]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with author Karl Dunn</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-author-karl-dunn/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin comes for David, and so does &#34;the man on the roof,&#34; we gush about David Archuleta, we tell the tale of the nap fox, and this week we are joined by  Berlin&apos;ite Karl Dunn, who authored the book &#34;How to burn a Rainbow&#34; about going through a divorce as a gay man, and we chat about what advice he&apos;d give to gay men considering marriage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 &#39;Cause I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. Gavin: 0:02 But you know who&#39;s because you retired. You&#39;re and you sorry. David: 0:05 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s okay. I had a really good transition, but it&#39;s no, it&#39;s fine. Gavin: 0:08 You can Can we go back and r and and and fake your transition? David: 0:13 We often do. Gavin: 0:15 And this is gatriarch. David: 0:30 You&#39;re on. I&#39;m here. I&#39;m here. How are you? I&#39;m good. I was just literally in the middle of eating a giant bag of marshmallows because things are going great. Gavin: 0:42 You were also in the midst of texting me, like my 12-year-old daughter, who says, Dad, hello. Hello, are you there? Hello, and gives me no time to respond or realize that there is such a thing as cell phone etiquette. The hello? You gave me a hello. David: 0:59 Let&#39;s go through it. Ready? So I said, I&#39;ll be home in 15 minutes. And you said I&#39;m here. So you, your honor, have said, you&#39;re already there. So the second I get home, you&#39;ll already be there. And I said, okay, see you in five minutes. Five minutes later, I text you here. That was at 1.38 p.m. You&#39;re not where you said to at 142 p.m., I then say hello question mark, which I will admit is slightly passive aggressive, but I would I would argue is warranted, Your Honor. Gavin: 1:29 Well, I do think that the here, yeah, yes, yes, yes. I I I I I see your warrant, your warrantedness. I get it, but I it is hilarious to me. The hello, the passive aggressive hello is just so hilariously juvenile. I have been sitting, my ass has not left this seat actually in hours because much as our I don&#39;t know if any of our listeners realize that I actually have a job that I&#39;ve been sitting at for fucking hours. And I have been sitting here. I just wasn&#39;t in the studio waiting for your pretty little face to show up. David: 2:05 So when I say home in 15 and you respond, I&#39;m here, you were referring to the chair you were currently sitting in, not the recording studio that we were to meet in. Correct. Got it. I will be more, I will be more specific. Gavin: 2:19 Although I do, I do enjoy calling out a passive aggressive hello. How would you what was your voy vocal tone when you wrote that? David: 2:29 I was leaning forward, my forehead was scrunched a little bit, and I went, hello. Yeah, that was it. And I heard, hello. I mean it&#39;s just a different level of that, but yes. Um, I I stand by my point, but you stand by yours. Let&#39;s move on. I didn&#39;t even know we were recording. You literally we got into the studio, you pointed at me to record, and I was like, what are we doing? I guess we&#39;re fucking jumping into it. Gavin: 2:50 We are we&#39;re yes, we&#39;re picking apart our idiosyncrasies. David: 2:54 Okay, so now that you&#39;ve thoroughly thrashed me, I&#39;m gonna tell you a story about um something that was uh really fucking terrifying to wake up to. So my my son has he&#39;s he&#39;s at the stage where like you put him to bed five minutes later, he&#39;s up. He makes up a lie about why he&#39;s up. It&#39;s always like, I&#39;m scared, or I need to go to the bathroom or whatever. You know how it goes. Yes, yes. Well, yeah, the other day, I&#39;m woken up out of a deep fucking sleep with this person standing next to me at like two in the morning, and I went, Yeah, what are you doing? And he says to me, There&#39;s a man on the roof trying to get in. When I tell you I both vomited and shit my pants at the same time, he said it with such and jumped. I mean, when he said it with such clear confidence, like, hey, this thing has happened, you might want to know that it&#39;s happening. And my I&#39;m going back and forth between obviously you&#39;re you&#39;re just waking up in the middle of the night, you&#39;re just a kid, you&#39;re just making stuff up, and is there an intruder trying to get into your room? Because our roof is in a way where like you could conceivably stand on the roof and look into our bedroom windows. So that was a real fun way to wake up at two in the morning. Gavin: 4:05 Well, first of all, okay, I um my kids are still they they have regressed in terms of going to bed easily, and they have reinvented the, oh, by the way, now I need a glass of water. And I don&#39;t know, I get more frustrated with myself that I haven&#39;t thought ahead of time. Do not get into bed until you have your water bottle next to you. Let&#39;s just solve that problem right now. Because I&#39;m both charmed that they&#39;re like, oh, daddy. And they do turn on the sweetness. Will you please? Oh sometimes they remember, please, get me a glass of water. And you&#39;re like, ah, why didn&#39;t you just do this before? And also, it&#39;s kind of sweet. And it&#39;s kind of sweet. David: 4:44 Dad, I want to solve world hunger and the Iran-Contra affair. Gavin: 4:48 No, Iran Contra. Tell me you&#39;re old without telling me you&#39;re old. And I&#39;m old. Um, but the fact, no, no, my daughter would be much more like, um, Daddy, can you buy me that Lululemon top that I&#39;ve been talking about for the last four months? But anyway, needing water at bedtime. But um I the I it&#39;s been a long time since I woke up with somebody, a little child, in my face, four inches away with their breath on me, just kind of staring at me. David: 5:18 Yeah. As still as as the night, like just just just existing near you. It&#39;s awful. Gavin: 5:24 Yep. Yeah. That&#39;s it is a it is quite a way to wake up. But I remember being like a four or five-year-old and some distant relatives, like second cousins that I barely knew, but fun people with maybe high school kids, or maybe they were middle schools, I don&#39;t know. Um, were sleeping in my basement um when I was a little kid, and I was so excited for them to wake up. And I went and woke up the girl who who knows, she was 14 or 18 or 28, who knows? And I peeled back her eyelid and said, Are you awake? I and I remember doing it. And yeah. David: 5:57 Gabin, you attacked a child, is that story. If I was to retell that story, but Gaben attacked a child. Yes. Gavin: 6:03 But I was four. I was four. I was a four-year-old child attacking another child. Anyway, um, was there a man on the roof? David: 6:09 There was not a man on the roof. Um I barely checked, if I&#39;m being totally honest. I like took him to the bathroom and I kind of looked out the bathroom window. And then I took it back to his room and I pretended to like see, honey, there&#39;s nobody on the roof while also waiting to look at a person through the window. Um, and so no, nobody was on those two parts of the roof, and then I went to sleep uh like a baby because I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. But you know who was a really good parent? unknown: 6:34 Who? David: 6:35 David Archoleta&#39;s mom. Are you following this whole David Archoleta thing? So no do you remember who David Archoleta is? Gavin: 6:41 Uh yeah, the voice or yeah, he was on American Idol. David: 6:45 American Idol. I think it was between him and um this other guy, and he ended up getting second place, but he was like, everyone loved him. He&#39;s this like Mormon boy, very boyish, very sweet. He&#39;s got this very sweet voice. Um, gay, you know, gay as Christmas, but also like very straight because he was a Mormon or whatever. Anyway, recently he&#39;s become very popular on TikTok, brand new to TikTok, and he basically came out and he was like, I&#39;m gay now, and whatever. And everyone was like, big surprise. But what is so sweet is he just came out with a song called Hell Together. And I watched him perform it on American Idol, and he was saying that, you know, when he came out of the closet, his mom was like, devout, devout Mormon, right? Both of and uh David left the church and he came out, and his mom was still in the church, very passionate. And when he came out, his mom was like, I&#39;m gonna need some time. And of course, David is like, okay, I guess I&#39;m being excommunicated, I&#39;m being kicked out of the family or whatever. And evidently, like a week later, he said that she called him and was like, you know what? I&#39;m leaving the Mormon church. Um, I&#39;m with you. And if I&#39;m going to hell, we&#39;re going to hell together. And so he wrote a song about it. And I was like, fuck, that is a great, great mom. Because that took a lot of courage to have to re to have to analyze your own life and just go, I&#39;m re-examining myself. Because most people would say, no, that butts up against my current self and identity, and I&#39;m not going to do it. So he wrote this beautiful song, and it&#39;s a great song, and he&#39;s kind of coming back into the fold. Gavin: 8:08 So um that&#39;s that&#39;s a good parent, unlike a gay anthem to celebrate here in our unintentional gay news on Gatriarchs. This is the finest news source of both uplifting and um and thorough. Um and then you know what that immediately makes me think of also is I look forward to the day that you can be Mormon and feel out and proud and still practice your religious faith. With I d I know that it&#39;s almost inconceivable that an awful lot of the those things, meaning religious faith and sexual identity, can go hand in hand. But like, can we move on from that bullshit? If she wants to be super Mormon and embrace her, and hopefully there would be no contradiction there. But I know that I&#39;m dreaming about a world that doesn&#39;t exist right now. David: 8:54 But also, I don&#39;t want a world where religion exists, but that&#39;s a whole different story. But um, what I will say is that living in Salt Lake City for a little while, or working there, not living there, um, you can be gay and be a Mormon. You just can&#39;t act on it, which is sick, it&#39;s just a fucking stupid thing, right? Gavin: 9:10 Uh which is just a joke and laughable. Yes, so fucking um, I recently have been introduced to a social media phenomenon or just debate going on out there. Have you heard about the uh bear versus the man debate? David: 9:20 I have. It&#39;s fucking great. Gavin: 9:22 Am I ever gonna be able to bring some so bit of social media business to you? David: 9:27 You&#39;re the Instagram reels of this uh relationship, and I am the TikTok trend. So but please inform us for those of you us or don&#39;t know what happened six months ago. Gavin: 9:37 It it was it seriously six months ago? David: 9:41 Well, it was about a month ago, but this episode&#39;s gonna come out in like two months, so yeah. Gavin: 9:45 And in social media land, a month ago is like in in gay years, that is six years ago that the trend came out. Well, uh, so apparently it was just a thought um exercise put out there that mostly women, I think, saying to each other, would you rather come it through uh the forest and would you rather come upon a bear or a man? And talk about a Gatriarch&#39;s adjacent thought experiment there. Because my immediate thought was, oh, a bear. Absolutely. And I don&#39;t mean a, you know, a hot hairy daddy, but just like I get it entirely. But that whole debate Would you rather come across a bear or a twink? Like, oh well, I don&#39;t know. There we go. That is our thought experiment. Let&#39;s let&#39;s dumb this down and make it gay, right? But uh, I I think that is a really fascinating thing out there. And what is the Venn diagram overlap of those who would shoot men who understand the debate and those who don&#39;t, and who would rather come across a bear or a man? David: 10:45 I uh I well somebody did the math. Uh, I watched one of the TikToks I watched was somebody doing the actual math, and they were like adjusting for population size as far as like how many bear attacks there are and how many like whatever. And he was saying, like, it&#39;s like overwhelmingly the men who are the more dangerous. Like, like, even if you had as many bears in the world as people, yeah, it would still be safer for you to come across a bear than a man, which is so embarrassing for our culture. Gavin: 11:11 So embarrassing, but that&#39;s why we&#39;re here to make the world a better place. Everybody should be a Gatriarch, right? David: 11:17 So I have a really good um parallel with woodland creatures when it comes to dad hacks. Are you ready? Oh, yeah. So I heard this from uh a daycare friend of ours. We went and played at a uh thing. We were talking, you know, about our kids, like you always fucking do. And we were talking about naps. And my kid is almost five, so his nap is is gonna go away very soon. But a lot of his classmates aren&#39;t even napping anymore, so it&#39;s kind of like a hot topic. Well, she was saying the only way I can get my daughter to take a nap is to tell her about the nap fox. I said, What&#39;s the nap fox? And she and she got really quiet and she smiled and she was like, It&#39;s kind of embarrassing. I was like, please tell me, and I will tell it on my podcast. Yeah, and she was basically like, Well, we lied and said that there&#39;s this fox. And the fox comes around the neighborhood at nap time between 1 and 3 p.m. and it chases children who are awake. And if you are not sleeping, the nap fox will get you. And it sounds so ridiculous to me, but she was like, and if she&#39;s being, you know, whatever and she doesn&#39;t want to go down, I&#39;ll say, Did you hear the nap fox? She will run to her bed. And I was like, I love a creative lie to get your children to go to sleep. So those of you out there who can&#39;t get your kid to sleep, tell them about the nap box. Gavin: 12:28 Yep. And just lie, because that&#39;s what parenting often is. It&#39;s just lying. Lie to your kids. Speaking of lies. Sorry. Let&#39;s just move on to the top three lists, shall we? Great transition, Gavin. Gay three arcs. Top three list. Three, two, one. David: 12:48 So this week is your list, I think. Gavin: 12:50 Yes, it was. Uh this week, I want to hear about the top three best qualities of you according to your kids. So number three for me was I help them. David: 13:04 Wait, did you ask your kids this, or is this something that you&#39;re deciding? Didn&#39;t I make that clear? No, I&#39;m sorry. Was I supposed to ask my kids? Gavin: 13:13 Well, I did ask my kids. David: 13:14 Oh, well, to be fair, one of my kids is is dumb as rock. So um, but I did not I can&#39;t wait to hear what your narcissistic responses are gonna be about how what an amazing dad you are according to your kids. Gavin: 13:28 Yes, yes. Okay, well, number three for me is I help them, period. That&#39;s sweet. Just I help them. They I said, Do you want to elaborate on that? They said no. Number two, my daughter said, You&#39;re always there. It&#39;s getting annoying. David: 13:44 Okay, a little bit of a back-handed compliment. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll give it that to her, but but it was very sweet. You&#39;re always there, you&#39;re present. Okay, got it. Gavin: 13:50 And it&#39;s getting annoying. David: 13:52 Yeah. Gavin: 13:52 Number one, I&#39;m a good cook when it&#39;s not weird. And I said, Okay, a little backhanded. So I said, What do you mean by it&#39;s not weird? They said, in particular, you know how you always do that weird cooking, that that that that barefoot uh count that barefoot can that bear I&#39;m like, oh, Ina Garten, the fucking barefoot contessa, whose recipes I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin comes for David, and so does &#34;the man on the roof,&#34; we gush about David Archuleta, we tell the tale of the nap fox, and this week we are joined by  Berlin&apos;ite Karl Dunn, who authored the book &#34;How to burn a Rainbow&#34; ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin comes for David, and so does &#34;the man on the roof,&#34; we gush about David Archuleta, we tell the tale of the nap fox, and this week we are joined by  Berlin&apos;ite Karl Dunn, who authored the book &#34;How to burn a Rainbow&#34; about going through a divorce as a gay man, and we chat about what advice he&apos;d give to gay men considering marriage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 &#39;Cause I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. Gavin: 0:02 But you know who&#39;s because you retired. You&#39;re and you sorry. David: 0:05 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s okay. I had a really good transition, but it&#39;s no, it&#39;s fine. Gavin: 0:08 You can Can we go back and r and and and fake your transition? David: 0:13 We often do. Gavin: 0:15 And this is gatriarch. David: 0:30 You&#39;re on. I&#39;m here. I&#39;m here. How are you? I&#39;m good. I was just literally in the middle of eating a giant bag of marshmallows because things are going great. Gavin: 0:42 You were also in the midst of texting me, like my 12-year-old daughter, who says, Dad, hello. Hello, are you there? Hello, and gives me no time to respond or realize that there is such a thing as cell phone etiquette. The hello? You gave me a hello. David: 0:59 Let&#39;s go through it. Ready? So I said, I&#39;ll be home in 15 minutes. And you said I&#39;m here. So you, your honor, have said, you&#39;re already there. So the second I get home, you&#39;ll already be there. And I said, okay, see you in five minutes. Five minutes later, I text you here. That was at 1.38 p.m. You&#39;re not where you said to at 142 p.m., I then say hello question mark, which I will admit is slightly passive aggressive, but I would I would argue is warranted, Your Honor. Gavin: 1:29 Well, I do think that the here, yeah, yes, yes, yes. I I I I I see your warrant, your warrantedness. I get it, but I it is hilarious to me. The hello, the passive aggressive hello is just so hilariously juvenile. I have been sitting, my ass has not left this seat actually in hours because much as our I don&#39;t know if any of our listeners realize that I actually have a job that I&#39;ve been sitting at for fucking hours. And I have been sitting here. I just wasn&#39;t in the studio waiting for your pretty little face to show up. David: 2:05 So when I say home in 15 and you respond, I&#39;m here, you were referring to the chair you were currently sitting in, not the recording studio that we were to meet in. Correct. Got it. I will be more, I will be more specific. Gavin: 2:19 Although I do, I do enjoy calling out a passive aggressive hello. How would you what was your voy vocal tone when you wrote that? David: 2:29 I was leaning forward, my forehead was scrunched a little bit, and I went, hello. Yeah, that was it. And I heard, hello. I mean it&#39;s just a different level of that, but yes. Um, I I stand by my point, but you stand by yours. Let&#39;s move on. I didn&#39;t even know we were recording. You literally we got into the studio, you pointed at me to record, and I was like, what are we doing? I guess we&#39;re fucking jumping into it. Gavin: 2:50 We are we&#39;re yes, we&#39;re picking apart our idiosyncrasies. David: 2:54 Okay, so now that you&#39;ve thoroughly thrashed me, I&#39;m gonna tell you a story about um something that was uh really fucking terrifying to wake up to. So my my son has he&#39;s he&#39;s at the stage where like you put him to bed five minutes later, he&#39;s up. He makes up a lie about why he&#39;s up. It&#39;s always like, I&#39;m scared, or I need to go to the bathroom or whatever. You know how it goes. Yes, yes. Well, yeah, the other day, I&#39;m woken up out of a deep fucking sleep with this person standing next to me at like two in the morning, and I went, Yeah, what are you doing? And he says to me, There&#39;s a man on the roof trying to get in. When I tell you I both vomited and shit my pants at the same time, he said it with such and jumped. I mean, when he said it with such clear confidence, like, hey, this thing has happened, you might want to know that it&#39;s happening. And my I&#39;m going back and forth between obviously you&#39;re you&#39;re just waking up in the middle of the night, you&#39;re just a kid, you&#39;re just making stuff up, and is there an intruder trying to get into your room? Because our roof is in a way where like you could conceivably stand on the roof and look into our bedroom windows. So that was a real fun way to wake up at two in the morning. Gavin: 4:05 Well, first of all, okay, I um my kids are still they they have regressed in terms of going to bed easily, and they have reinvented the, oh, by the way, now I need a glass of water. And I don&#39;t know, I get more frustrated with myself that I haven&#39;t thought ahead of time. Do not get into bed until you have your water bottle next to you. Let&#39;s just solve that problem right now. Because I&#39;m both charmed that they&#39;re like, oh, daddy. And they do turn on the sweetness. Will you please? Oh sometimes they remember, please, get me a glass of water. And you&#39;re like, ah, why didn&#39;t you just do this before? And also, it&#39;s kind of sweet. And it&#39;s kind of sweet. David: 4:44 Dad, I want to solve world hunger and the Iran-Contra affair. Gavin: 4:48 No, Iran Contra. Tell me you&#39;re old without telling me you&#39;re old. And I&#39;m old. Um, but the fact, no, no, my daughter would be much more like, um, Daddy, can you buy me that Lululemon top that I&#39;ve been talking about for the last four months? But anyway, needing water at bedtime. But um I the I it&#39;s been a long time since I woke up with somebody, a little child, in my face, four inches away with their breath on me, just kind of staring at me. David: 5:18 Yeah. As still as as the night, like just just just existing near you. It&#39;s awful. Gavin: 5:24 Yep. Yeah. That&#39;s it is a it is quite a way to wake up. But I remember being like a four or five-year-old and some distant relatives, like second cousins that I barely knew, but fun people with maybe high school kids, or maybe they were middle schools, I don&#39;t know. Um, were sleeping in my basement um when I was a little kid, and I was so excited for them to wake up. And I went and woke up the girl who who knows, she was 14 or 18 or 28, who knows? And I peeled back her eyelid and said, Are you awake? I and I remember doing it. And yeah. David: 5:57 Gabin, you attacked a child, is that story. If I was to retell that story, but Gaben attacked a child. Yes. Gavin: 6:03 But I was four. I was four. I was a four-year-old child attacking another child. Anyway, um, was there a man on the roof? David: 6:09 There was not a man on the roof. Um I barely checked, if I&#39;m being totally honest. I like took him to the bathroom and I kind of looked out the bathroom window. And then I took it back to his room and I pretended to like see, honey, there&#39;s nobody on the roof while also waiting to look at a person through the window. Um, and so no, nobody was on those two parts of the roof, and then I went to sleep uh like a baby because I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. But you know who was a really good parent? unknown: 6:34 Who? David: 6:35 David Archoleta&#39;s mom. Are you following this whole David Archoleta thing? So no do you remember who David Archoleta is? Gavin: 6:41 Uh yeah, the voice or yeah, he was on American Idol. David: 6:45 American Idol. I think it was between him and um this other guy, and he ended up getting second place, but he was like, everyone loved him. He&#39;s this like Mormon boy, very boyish, very sweet. He&#39;s got this very sweet voice. Um, gay, you know, gay as Christmas, but also like very straight because he was a Mormon or whatever. Anyway, recently he&#39;s become very popular on TikTok, brand new to TikTok, and he basically came out and he was like, I&#39;m gay now, and whatever. And everyone was like, big surprise. But what is so sweet is he just came out with a song called Hell Together. And I watched him perform it on American Idol, and he was saying that, you know, when he came out of the closet, his mom was like, devout, devout Mormon, right? Both of and uh David left the church and he came out, and his mom was still in the church, very passionate. And when he came out, his mom was like, I&#39;m gonna need some time. And of course, David is like, okay, I guess I&#39;m being excommunicated, I&#39;m being kicked out of the family or whatever. And evidently, like a week later, he said that she called him and was like, you know what? I&#39;m leaving the Mormon church. Um, I&#39;m with you. And if I&#39;m going to hell, we&#39;re going to hell together. And so he wrote a song about it. And I was like, fuck, that is a great, great mom. Because that took a lot of courage to have to re to have to analyze your own life and just go, I&#39;m re-examining myself. Because most people would say, no, that butts up against my current self and identity, and I&#39;m not going to do it. So he wrote this beautiful song, and it&#39;s a great song, and he&#39;s kind of coming back into the fold. Gavin: 8:08 So um that&#39;s that&#39;s a good parent, unlike a gay anthem to celebrate here in our unintentional gay news on Gatriarchs. This is the finest news source of both uplifting and um and thorough. Um and then you know what that immediately makes me think of also is I look forward to the day that you can be Mormon and feel out and proud and still practice your religious faith. With I d I know that it&#39;s almost inconceivable that an awful lot of the those things, meaning religious faith and sexual identity, can go hand in hand. But like, can we move on from that bullshit? If she wants to be super Mormon and embrace her, and hopefully there would be no contradiction there. But I know that I&#39;m dreaming about a world that doesn&#39;t exist right now. David: 8:54 But also, I don&#39;t want a world where religion exists, but that&#39;s a whole different story. But um, what I will say is that living in Salt Lake City for a little while, or working there, not living there, um, you can be gay and be a Mormon. You just can&#39;t act on it, which is sick, it&#39;s just a fucking stupid thing, right? Gavin: 9:10 Uh which is just a joke and laughable. Yes, so fucking um, I recently have been introduced to a social media phenomenon or just debate going on out there. Have you heard about the uh bear versus the man debate? David: 9:20 I have. It&#39;s fucking great. Gavin: 9:22 Am I ever gonna be able to bring some so bit of social media business to you? David: 9:27 You&#39;re the Instagram reels of this uh relationship, and I am the TikTok trend. So but please inform us for those of you us or don&#39;t know what happened six months ago. Gavin: 9:37 It it was it seriously six months ago? David: 9:41 Well, it was about a month ago, but this episode&#39;s gonna come out in like two months, so yeah. Gavin: 9:45 And in social media land, a month ago is like in in gay years, that is six years ago that the trend came out. Well, uh, so apparently it was just a thought um exercise put out there that mostly women, I think, saying to each other, would you rather come it through uh the forest and would you rather come upon a bear or a man? And talk about a Gatriarch&#39;s adjacent thought experiment there. Because my immediate thought was, oh, a bear. Absolutely. And I don&#39;t mean a, you know, a hot hairy daddy, but just like I get it entirely. But that whole debate Would you rather come across a bear or a twink? Like, oh well, I don&#39;t know. There we go. That is our thought experiment. Let&#39;s let&#39;s dumb this down and make it gay, right? But uh, I I think that is a really fascinating thing out there. And what is the Venn diagram overlap of those who would shoot men who understand the debate and those who don&#39;t, and who would rather come across a bear or a man? David: 10:45 I uh I well somebody did the math. Uh, I watched one of the TikToks I watched was somebody doing the actual math, and they were like adjusting for population size as far as like how many bear attacks there are and how many like whatever. And he was saying, like, it&#39;s like overwhelmingly the men who are the more dangerous. Like, like, even if you had as many bears in the world as people, yeah, it would still be safer for you to come across a bear than a man, which is so embarrassing for our culture. Gavin: 11:11 So embarrassing, but that&#39;s why we&#39;re here to make the world a better place. Everybody should be a Gatriarch, right? David: 11:17 So I have a really good um parallel with woodland creatures when it comes to dad hacks. Are you ready? Oh, yeah. So I heard this from uh a daycare friend of ours. We went and played at a uh thing. We were talking, you know, about our kids, like you always fucking do. And we were talking about naps. And my kid is almost five, so his nap is is gonna go away very soon. But a lot of his classmates aren&#39;t even napping anymore, so it&#39;s kind of like a hot topic. Well, she was saying the only way I can get my daughter to take a nap is to tell her about the nap fox. I said, What&#39;s the nap fox? And she and she got really quiet and she smiled and she was like, It&#39;s kind of embarrassing. I was like, please tell me, and I will tell it on my podcast. Yeah, and she was basically like, Well, we lied and said that there&#39;s this fox. And the fox comes around the neighborhood at nap time between 1 and 3 p.m. and it chases children who are awake. And if you are not sleeping, the nap fox will get you. And it sounds so ridiculous to me, but she was like, and if she&#39;s being, you know, whatever and she doesn&#39;t want to go down, I&#39;ll say, Did you hear the nap fox? She will run to her bed. And I was like, I love a creative lie to get your children to go to sleep. So those of you out there who can&#39;t get your kid to sleep, tell them about the nap box. Gavin: 12:28 Yep. And just lie, because that&#39;s what parenting often is. It&#39;s just lying. Lie to your kids. Speaking of lies. Sorry. Let&#39;s just move on to the top three lists, shall we? Great transition, Gavin. Gay three arcs. Top three list. Three, two, one. David: 12:48 So this week is your list, I think. Gavin: 12:50 Yes, it was. Uh this week, I want to hear about the top three best qualities of you according to your kids. So number three for me was I help them. David: 13:04 Wait, did you ask your kids this, or is this something that you&#39;re deciding? Didn&#39;t I make that clear? No, I&#39;m sorry. Was I supposed to ask my kids? Gavin: 13:13 Well, I did ask my kids. David: 13:14 Oh, well, to be fair, one of my kids is is dumb as rock. So um, but I did not I can&#39;t wait to hear what your narcissistic responses are gonna be about how what an amazing dad you are according to your kids. Gavin: 13:28 Yes, yes. Okay, well, number three for me is I help them, period. That&#39;s sweet. Just I help them. They I said, Do you want to elaborate on that? They said no. Number two, my daughter said, You&#39;re always there. It&#39;s getting annoying. David: 13:44 Okay, a little bit of a back-handed compliment. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll give it that to her, but but it was very sweet. You&#39;re always there, you&#39;re present. Okay, got it. Gavin: 13:50 And it&#39;s getting annoying. David: 13:52 Yeah. Gavin: 13:52 Number one, I&#39;m a good cook when it&#39;s not weird. And I said, Okay, a little backhanded. So I said, What do you mean by it&#39;s not weird? They said, in particular, you know how you always do that weird cooking, that that that that barefoot uh count that barefoot can that bear I&#39;m like, oh, Ina Garten, the fucking barefoot contessa, whose recipes I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin comes for David, and so does &#34;the man on the roof,&#34; we gush about David Archuleta, we tell the tale of the nap fox, and this week we are joined by  Berlin&apos;ite Karl Dunn, who authored the book &#34;How to burn a Rainbow&#34; about going through a divorce as a gay man, and we chat about what advice he&apos;d give to gay men considering marriage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 &#39;Cause I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. Gavin: 0:02 But you know who&#39;s because you retired. You&#39;re and you sorry. David: 0:05 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s okay. I had a really good transition, but it&#39;s no, it&#39;s fine. Gavin: 0:08 You can Can we go back and r and and and fake your transition? David: 0:13 We often do. Gavin: 0:15 And this is gatriarch. David: 0:30 You&#39;re on. I&#39;m here. I&#39;m here. How are you? I&#39;m good. I was just literally in the middle of eating a giant bag of marshmallows because things are going great. Gavin: 0:42 You were also in the midst of texting me, like my 12-year-old daughter, who says, Dad, hello. Hello, are you there? Hello, and gives me no time to respond or realize that there is such a thing as cell phone etiquette. The hello? You gave me a hello. David: 0:59 Let&#39;s go through it. Ready? So I said, I&#39;ll be home in 15 minutes. And you said I&#39;m here. So you, your honor, have said, you&#39;re already there. So the second I get home, you&#39;ll already be there. And I said, okay, see you in five minutes. Five minutes later, I text you here. That was at 1.38 p.m. You&#39;re not where you said to at 142 p.m., I then say hello question mark, which I will admit is slightly passive aggressive, but I would I would argue is warranted, Your Honor. Gavin: 1:29 Well, I do think that the here, yeah, yes, yes, yes. I I I I I see your warrant, your warrantedness. I get it, but I it is hilarious to me. The hello, the passive aggressive hello is just so hilariously juvenile. I have been sitting, my ass has not left this seat actually in hours because much as our I don&#39;t know if any of our listeners realize that I actually have a job that I&#39;ve been sitting at for fucking hours. And I have been sitting here. I just wasn&#39;t in the studio waiting for your pretty little face to show up. David: 2:05 So when I say home in 15 and you respond, I&#39;m here, you were referring to the chair you were currently sitting in, not the recording studio that we were to meet in. Correct. Got it. I will be more, I will be more specific. Gavin: 2:19 Although I do, I do enjoy calling out a passive aggressive hello. How would you what was your voy vocal tone when you wrote that? David: 2:29 I was leaning forward, my forehead was scrunched a little bit, and I went, hello. Yeah, that was it. And I heard, hello. I mean it&#39;s just a different level of that, but yes. Um, I I stand by my point, but you stand by yours. Let&#39;s move on. I didn&#39;t even know we were recording. You literally we got into the studio, you pointed at me to record, and I was like, what are we doing? I guess we&#39;re fucking jumping into it. Gavin: 2:50 We are we&#39;re yes, we&#39;re picking apart our idiosyncrasies. David: 2:54 Okay, so now that you&#39;ve thoroughly thrashed me, I&#39;m gonna tell you a story about um something that was uh really fucking terrifying to wake up to. So my my son has he&#39;s he&#39;s at the stage where like you put him to bed five minutes later, he&#39;s up. He makes up a lie about why he&#39;s up. It&#39;s always like, I&#39;m scared, or I need to go to the bathroom or whatever. You know how it goes. Yes, yes. Well, yeah, the other day, I&#39;m woken up out of a deep fucking sleep with this person standing next to me at like two in the morning, and I went, Yeah, what are you doing? And he says to me, There&#39;s a man on the roof trying to get in. Wh]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin comes for David, and so does &#34;the man on the roof,&#34; we gush about David Archuleta, we tell the tale of the nap fox, and this week we are joined by  Berlin&apos;ite Karl Dunn, who authored the book &#34;How to burn a Rainbow&#34; about going through a divorce as a gay man, and we chat about what advice he&apos;d give to gay men considering marriage. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 &#39;Cause I&#39;m a really, really terrible parent. Gavin: 0:02 But you know who&#39;s because you retired. You&#39;re and you sorry. David: 0:05 No, it&#39;s it&#39;s okay. I had a really good transition, but it&#39;s no, it&#39;s fine. Gavin: 0:08 You can Can we go back and r and and and fake your transition? David: 0:13 We often do. Gavin: 0:15 And this is gatriarch. David: 0:30 You&#39;re on. I&#39;m here. I&#39;m here. How are you? I&#39;m good. I was just]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Trystan Reese</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-trystan-reese/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week we try and figure out short term pain for long term gain, Gavin is gay for Berlin techno, we find the top 3 places to run around with a toddler, and we a lucky to be joined this week by author, speaker, advocate, trans father and all around multi-hyphenate Trystan Reese who talks us through his pregnancy, who&apos;s the star in his relationship, and how he earned that elusive parenting merit badge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Everywhere, and Gavin Lod Gavin is at GavinLodge at happy hour. Do that one again because you didn&#39;t say my name right. unknown: 0:14 Oh. Gavin: 0:14 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s okay. I&#39;m sorry. I am so lucky that you have that you&#39;ve only fired me 16 times. I fired you twice today. David: 0:37 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:52 So I was picking up my daughter at a playdate the other day, and the house was being run by a puppy. The puppy was teensy. Like I was able to hold it on one arm, but you could tell the entire household was revolving around this puppy. And the mom was like, I&#39;ve never had a dog before. I mean, it&#39;s just like crazy. Like I&#39;d leave it for all day while I go to work, and it&#39;s just pooping all over the place and peeing all over the place. And I said, being a fairly experienced dog owner, I&#39;m like, well, you do crate it, don&#39;t you? It&#39;s a brand new puppy. It&#39;s just a few weeks old. She&#39;s like, oh, but she just cries so much. And I&#39;m like, oh, come on. Mama, you have been a parent. Like, this is sleep training, girl. You have to sleep train this puppy. And while you never exactly put well, you did put a baby in a cage because it&#39;s called a crib. And the baby stays in the crib. And it keeps itself safe and it&#39;s safe, and it&#39;s warm and it&#39;s cozy and it&#39;s in a safe space. And you sleep train it. Like, girl, you&#39;re a parent. You should be able to know how to raise a dog. And the whole conversation was just like those comparisons about uh puppies and babies. Because I mean, for us, the dog was training wheels for parenting, you know? And in some cases, babies were easier, frankly. David: 2:13 I could see the article already. It says Gavin Law says Yorkshire Terriers are just like babies. Yeah. Like I just see it already. That&#39;s fine. But it&#39;s not, it&#39;s not untrue. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s not untrue about the things. It&#39;s so funny that you tell this story. We have not just talked about what we&#39;re gonna talk about, but literally the thing that I was gonna talk about was these things where you have to do something hard in the short term for a longer term like value. And and it and I&#39;m struggling with it right now with my four and a half year old, where he is such a dick all the time that I just kind of give up and I&#39;m like, well, then fuck you. I don&#39;t want to play Legos with you anymore. And then of course I become the four and a half year old, but then I&#39;m like, no, you&#39;ve got this is a short term. And so like last night he was like, he has 15 minutes after his iPad before we have to go to bed. So what do you want to do? You&#39;ll play magnet tiles, you want to tell stories, you want to do what else? And he&#39;s like, I want to work on this Lego car, which somebody gave him, and it&#39;s for like 12 and up. So it is millions of the smallest little pieces. Gavin: 3:12 You know, Legos, they do not misadvertise. The ages are appropriate. Even if you have a little Einstein, which of course we all have little Einsteins, the fact is a four-year-old needs to do four-year-old Legos. David: 3:25 It&#39;s just And the instruction manual is as big as Anna Karinina. It&#39;s insane. So have you read Anna Karinina? Gavin, do you think do I look like a person who&#39;s ever read Anna Karinina? Um, but you know, he&#39;s like, no, I this is the thing I have to do. And so here&#39;s what happens in my brain. I go, I can play out the next 10 steps of this. I&#39;m gonna take it out. You&#39;re gonna ask me to do it. I&#39;m gonna say, no, you have to do it. We&#39;re gonna get an argument. He&#39;s gonna start doing it. He&#39;s gonna cry that he can&#39;t do it, but he&#39;s gonna want me to do it, and I&#39;m gonna say, well, then fine. And then we&#39;re gonna get an argument and we&#39;re gonna run upstairs, and everyone&#39;s gonna be mad at each other, and bedtime will be ruined. So I&#39;m just trying to not get this Lego set out. So, but then I go through this debate in my head over and over again. I&#39;m like, yeah, but you&#39;re not giving him the chance. But in my the other person on my shoulder is like, yeah, but you know he&#39;s not gonna want to do these Legos. So I feel like this is a common thing we go through with like the short-term pain for long-term game. Like, at what point does it actually pay off, Gaven, with older kids? Tell me, it&#39;s a real question to you, because I am just giving up at this point with like being nice or asking me things. Gavin: 4:36 My actual thought is the amount of times my my partner has said to me, Gavin, you realize you&#39;re the adult in the situation, right? David: 4:43 Oh, that&#39;s the saddest thing I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire life. Gavin: 4:46 And you cannot be the child stomping away from your own kids and wanting to be like, well, fine, then stay there. Right? But uh but uh That&#39;s literally me. David: 4:59 I&#39;m literally like, well then fine, you can play by yourself. Fuck off. And I walked the other room. My husband&#39;s like, maybe you should act like a 44-year-old man. Gavin: 5:07 I will say in too much of a sincere tone that I I think that the in the the frankly obsessiveness that I brought to early parenting, which included good eating, diverse eating, uh, which included not tolerating shitty behavior, it I do think it has worn it has worn well on us. And partly, I suppose that comes down to us talking about OPKs, not liking other people&#39;s kids. And when I look at behaviors in other kids that I don&#39;t like, I think to myself, well, I do think that we avoided that because of the slow burn commitment to setting boundaries like you do with a dog, and setting limits and not giving in. I mean, so often, how many times do you have to think to yourself, it would be so much easier to give in for my short-term gain? And you it is a it&#39;s a marathon. Parenting is a marathon. David: 6:08 No, but I are I I did it in infancy, right? Like we were hardcore about sleep training, bed times, meat eating. Yeah, no sugar, like the applesauce cake of 11. But like it, I don&#39;t know why I&#39;m struggling with that four and a half because he&#39;s like a person now and he&#39;s like throwing me shit. He&#39;ll just like walk downstairs and roll his eyes at me and walk away. And I&#39;m like, well, then fuck you. I didn&#39;t do anything. You just woke up. What are you doing? And so I forget that like this is just another version of an infant. This is just a fucking chihuahua. This is a Yorkshire Terrier who needs to be crated. All right, so I&#39;m gonna put my son in a crate tomorrow and I&#39;ll tell him Uncle Gavin told him to do this. Gavin: 6:49 Completely unrelated. I do have a little bit of gay news to share with you, okay? I was noticing um something that I thought, oh, people might appreciate knowing this. I was listening to another one of my favorite podcasts, Shout Out Switched on Pop, which is two NPR nerds who pick apart pop music. And it is wonderfully NPR-ish. And they they do, I mean, they really break down music for all its musical components, and they talk about susphores and and backtracks, and I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s very, very in the weeds. But they were saying that recently UNESCO designated Berlin Techno as a culturally vital element of UNESCO heritage for the country of Germany. Like, along with, I don&#39;t know, the pyramids, Yellowstone, and uh other cultural artifacts. Machu Picchu, they have designated Berlin techno music as being a culturally relevant, important thing to preserve. David: 7:54 I could just see the side text between like like the Machu Picchu and the pyramids. There&#39;s like a side text, and they&#39;re like, Did you hear about Berlin Techno? And they&#39;re like the nonstop eye roll emojis that would go on in that text thread. SPEAKER_01: 8:07 Totally. David: 8:08 But then there&#39;s the group text thread that includes Berlin that says, Congratulations! Gavin: 8:12 Just added you. David: 8:13 So excited for you. Gavin: 8:15 Welcome to the club. Totally. unknown: 8:17 Yeah. Gavin: 8:19 But so then, of course, they went down a deep dive of uh Berlin Techno, and it definitely made me just want to like go rave. And they were picking apart uh the the attributes of um Berlin Techno. And it was pretty hilarious to hear two NPR nerds talking about it. But I thought, you know what? I think the gays would appreciate knowing that um you are not wasting your time by listening to dancing to all night long Berlin Techno. Pretty fun. David: 8:49 Anyway, you you know what is a big waste of time? Do tell our top three list. Gavin: 8:54 Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. David: 8:58 So this is my week. So um my top three list this week is what are the top three non-traditional places to run around in with your toddler? Yep. Listen, I have I have young kids, you have older kids, but we all know that as parents, we are desperate for places to exist with our children where we can partially ignore them. So here are my other than like the play places and parks and stuff like that, here are my top three. Uh the number three for me is we live in the New York City area, is the train. Literally, we will take the train from our town into Manhattan, we&#39;ll get right back on a different train and come right back out. Fancy. And it is so great because they crawl around the seats. It&#39;s like it&#39;s an enclosed space, it&#39;s exciting. There&#39;s the, you know, all the stuff passing, so it&#39;s pretty good. Love it. Uh, number two, now this is only for very, very, very young kids, like under one and a half. Barnes and Noble. Because their like little kids&#39; book, like board book section, has like stuffed animals. There&#39;s rarely anybody over there, and they&#39;re not going to destroy the place, and they&#39;ll just sit in your lap and read books. So that&#39;s a great one. Love it. Uh, number one for me, this is our go-to, Bob&#39;s discount furniture. Because it is a giant warehouse full of soft surfaces they can climb on and not destroy anything. And they often have like little free ice creams. We very often will spend an hour or two at Bob&#39;s. And they&#39;re all, I always feel so bad. These guys are like, can I help you find something? We&#39;re like, oh no, we&#39;re just looking. No, we&#39;re not. We&#39;re just here to experience your couches for free. So that&#39;s my list. What about you? Gavin: 10:31 All three of those are very, very relatable. Um, so on my list, I would say shocker, and it&#39;s only my number three, not my number one, is bars. I loved it being able to go to a bar with friends. Uh earlier in the daytime, not necessarily late at night, although there was a time that I had my newborn in a baby bjorn um at a bar, um, actually after rehearsing for the Macy&#39;s Day uh Thanksgiving parade, which was actually very fun. But anyway, you know what? I just like bringing bringing a little levity to a bar situation. Number two, cemeteries. I think it&#39;s kind of interesting. David: 11:06 This is a this list is taking turns. I did not expect. Gavin: 11:10 I welcome being among the spirits, talking about life and death and uh and letting my kids, you know. I some people might clutch their pearls at the idea of touching headstones, but I&#39;m like, you know what? This is uh this is part of life, is death. And uh and nobody&#39;s gonna yell at me to just like let them kind of run crazy around, right? Number one, airplanes. Now, I don&#39;t let them run crazy, but I do think that being able to walk up and down those aisles with a young kid is important to just like let them explore and see the people and touch the things, even though that those poor people being touched accidentally or being flirted with when they don&#39;t want to flirt with the toddler is a pain in the ass. But I will never forget the time that I was on an um international flight with uh my daughter, who was, I think, 10 months old at the time. She absolutely needed to get up and move. It was a long flight. So I let her crawl with me behind her. I didn&#39;t just let her go, but I let her crawl on this on the uh floor. And several of the people were like, Oh, you could, you couldn&#39;t possibly. And I&#39;m like, listen, listen, she&#39;s not crying, she&#39;s not screaming right now. Yes, she&#39;s picking up every single uh dirty germ from the floor of an airplane, but I don&#39;t know. I mean, schools are worse and um and daycare is worse. So it&#39;s an airplane, whatever. And um, and it was uh it was uh it was a non-traditional place that I felt good about like letting her explore and flirt with other people as she went up and down. David: 12:37 So there you go. So what are we doing next week? Gavin: 12:40 All right. Well, if you might see that I like themes, that is true. I like themes, and I want to hear what are the three best things about you as daddy according to your kids. Our guest today is a multi-hyphenate author, speaker, advocate, trans father shaking up all things normative. Like Serena Williams, Demi Moore, and every other celeb taking high-fashioned baby bump nudie picks. Our guest did the same, but as a man. Please welcome to the show, the revolutionary Tristan Reese. SPEAKER_00: 13:18 There&#39;s no nudity. Gavin: 13:19 Well, it was uh it was close. It was close. You were able to be, well, simply shirtless, right? And it was fantastic. Uh, I don&#39;t think I did any shirtless folks. Oh my god, then this intro is complete bullshit. David: 13:31 In my mind, we are we are in 10 seconds into this interview and you&#39;ve completely railroaded it. You&#39;ve offended our guests. Oh my god. Gavin: 13:39 Clearly, I just fantasized about shirtless pictures of you uh with a baby book. That&#39;s so weird. That is weird. That&#39;s so weird. Well, moving on from all of the awkwardness that I completely fucked up here. How have your besides from me, besides from me, how have your kids driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_00: 13:56 Oh my god. Uh I love it already. I love it already. That&#39;s a question. My okay, so this morning I had to say to my 13-year-old, hey, remember when you didn&#39;t do the laundry last night and you promised you would get up early this morning and do the laundry? Did that happen? And then she said, I never promised. I just said. David: 14:19 She&#39;s like, Your honor, if you&#39;ll check the tape, actually. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 14:24 All right. All right. Gavin: 14:25 So semantics driving us all um off the deep end for sure. SPEAKER_00: 14:30 Yep. And then my six-year-old is like snotty gross and coughing. And we were like, it&#39;s probably allergies, and just took him to school. So we&#39;ll see how that goes. David: 14:42 Oh, you&#39;re I know, I know the parking lot of daycare wipe the nose, get you gussied up. I know that whole routine where you&#39;re like, walk, we&#39;re gonna walk really fast past the administrator so they don&#39;t hear you coughing and then dump you in dick care. Gavin: 14:54 And you&#39;re in a safe space for all of that for sure. I mean, after all, school is just a petri dish anyway. But also, I mean, it is so past cold season, so obviously. SPEAKER_00: 15:06 Obviously. And I did, I gave him a Benadryl and patted him on the butt, set him into school. So hopefully. David: 15:12 Good luck with your...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we try and figure out short term pain for long term gain, Gavin is gay for Berlin techno, we find the top 3 places to run around with a toddler, and we a lucky to be joined this week by author, speaker, advocate, trans father and all around mul]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we try and figure out short term pain for long term gain, Gavin is gay for Berlin techno, we find the top 3 places to run around with a toddler, and we a lucky to be joined this week by author, speaker, advocate, trans father and all around multi-hyphenate Trystan Reese who talks us through his pregnancy, who&apos;s the star in his relationship, and how he earned that elusive parenting merit badge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Everywhere, and Gavin Lod Gavin is at GavinLodge at happy hour. Do that one again because you didn&#39;t say my name right. unknown: 0:14 Oh. Gavin: 0:14 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s okay. I&#39;m sorry. I am so lucky that you have that you&#39;ve only fired me 16 times. I fired you twice today. David: 0:37 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:52 So I was picking up my daughter at a playdate the other day, and the house was being run by a puppy. The puppy was teensy. Like I was able to hold it on one arm, but you could tell the entire household was revolving around this puppy. And the mom was like, I&#39;ve never had a dog before. I mean, it&#39;s just like crazy. Like I&#39;d leave it for all day while I go to work, and it&#39;s just pooping all over the place and peeing all over the place. And I said, being a fairly experienced dog owner, I&#39;m like, well, you do crate it, don&#39;t you? It&#39;s a brand new puppy. It&#39;s just a few weeks old. She&#39;s like, oh, but she just cries so much. And I&#39;m like, oh, come on. Mama, you have been a parent. Like, this is sleep training, girl. You have to sleep train this puppy. And while you never exactly put well, you did put a baby in a cage because it&#39;s called a crib. And the baby stays in the crib. And it keeps itself safe and it&#39;s safe, and it&#39;s warm and it&#39;s cozy and it&#39;s in a safe space. And you sleep train it. Like, girl, you&#39;re a parent. You should be able to know how to raise a dog. And the whole conversation was just like those comparisons about uh puppies and babies. Because I mean, for us, the dog was training wheels for parenting, you know? And in some cases, babies were easier, frankly. David: 2:13 I could see the article already. It says Gavin Law says Yorkshire Terriers are just like babies. Yeah. Like I just see it already. That&#39;s fine. But it&#39;s not, it&#39;s not untrue. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s not untrue about the things. It&#39;s so funny that you tell this story. We have not just talked about what we&#39;re gonna talk about, but literally the thing that I was gonna talk about was these things where you have to do something hard in the short term for a longer term like value. And and it and I&#39;m struggling with it right now with my four and a half year old, where he is such a dick all the time that I just kind of give up and I&#39;m like, well, then fuck you. I don&#39;t want to play Legos with you anymore. And then of course I become the four and a half year old, but then I&#39;m like, no, you&#39;ve got this is a short term. And so like last night he was like, he has 15 minutes after his iPad before we have to go to bed. So what do you want to do? You&#39;ll play magnet tiles, you want to tell stories, you want to do what else? And he&#39;s like, I want to work on this Lego car, which somebody gave him, and it&#39;s for like 12 and up. So it is millions of the smallest little pieces. Gavin: 3:12 You know, Legos, they do not misadvertise. The ages are appropriate. Even if you have a little Einstein, which of course we all have little Einsteins, the fact is a four-year-old needs to do four-year-old Legos. David: 3:25 It&#39;s just And the instruction manual is as big as Anna Karinina. It&#39;s insane. So have you read Anna Karinina? Gavin, do you think do I look like a person who&#39;s ever read Anna Karinina? Um, but you know, he&#39;s like, no, I this is the thing I have to do. And so here&#39;s what happens in my brain. I go, I can play out the next 10 steps of this. I&#39;m gonna take it out. You&#39;re gonna ask me to do it. I&#39;m gonna say, no, you have to do it. We&#39;re gonna get an argument. He&#39;s gonna start doing it. He&#39;s gonna cry that he can&#39;t do it, but he&#39;s gonna want me to do it, and I&#39;m gonna say, well, then fine. And then we&#39;re gonna get an argument and we&#39;re gonna run upstairs, and everyone&#39;s gonna be mad at each other, and bedtime will be ruined. So I&#39;m just trying to not get this Lego set out. So, but then I go through this debate in my head over and over again. I&#39;m like, yeah, but you&#39;re not giving him the chance. But in my the other person on my shoulder is like, yeah, but you know he&#39;s not gonna want to do these Legos. So I feel like this is a common thing we go through with like the short-term pain for long-term game. Like, at what point does it actually pay off, Gaven, with older kids? Tell me, it&#39;s a real question to you, because I am just giving up at this point with like being nice or asking me things. Gavin: 4:36 My actual thought is the amount of times my my partner has said to me, Gavin, you realize you&#39;re the adult in the situation, right? David: 4:43 Oh, that&#39;s the saddest thing I&#39;ve ever heard in my entire life. Gavin: 4:46 And you cannot be the child stomping away from your own kids and wanting to be like, well, fine, then stay there. Right? But uh but uh That&#39;s literally me. David: 4:59 I&#39;m literally like, well then fine, you can play by yourself. Fuck off. And I walked the other room. My husband&#39;s like, maybe you should act like a 44-year-old man. Gavin: 5:07 I will say in too much of a sincere tone that I I think that the in the the frankly obsessiveness that I brought to early parenting, which included good eating, diverse eating, uh, which included not tolerating shitty behavior, it I do think it has worn it has worn well on us. And partly, I suppose that comes down to us talking about OPKs, not liking other people&#39;s kids. And when I look at behaviors in other kids that I don&#39;t like, I think to myself, well, I do think that we avoided that because of the slow burn commitment to setting boundaries like you do with a dog, and setting limits and not giving in. I mean, so often, how many times do you have to think to yourself, it would be so much easier to give in for my short-term gain? And you it is a it&#39;s a marathon. Parenting is a marathon. David: 6:08 No, but I are I I did it in infancy, right? Like we were hardcore about sleep training, bed times, meat eating. Yeah, no sugar, like the applesauce cake of 11. But like it, I don&#39;t know why I&#39;m struggling with that four and a half because he&#39;s like a person now and he&#39;s like throwing me shit. He&#39;ll just like walk downstairs and roll his eyes at me and walk away. And I&#39;m like, well, then fuck you. I didn&#39;t do anything. You just woke up. What are you doing? And so I forget that like this is just another version of an infant. This is just a fucking chihuahua. This is a Yorkshire Terrier who needs to be crated. All right, so I&#39;m gonna put my son in a crate tomorrow and I&#39;ll tell him Uncle Gavin told him to do this. Gavin: 6:49 Completely unrelated. I do have a little bit of gay news to share with you, okay? I was noticing um something that I thought, oh, people might appreciate knowing this. I was listening to another one of my favorite podcasts, Shout Out Switched on Pop, which is two NPR nerds who pick apart pop music. And it is wonderfully NPR-ish. And they they do, I mean, they really break down music for all its musical components, and they talk about susphores and and backtracks, and I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s very, very in the weeds. But they were saying that recently UNESCO designated Berlin Techno as a culturally vital element of UNESCO heritage for the country of Germany. Like, along with, I don&#39;t know, the pyramids, Yellowstone, and uh other cultural artifacts. Machu Picchu, they have designated Berlin techno music as being a culturally relevant, important thing to preserve. David: 7:54 I could just see the side text between like like the Machu Picchu and the pyramids. There&#39;s like a side text, and they&#39;re like, Did you hear about Berlin Techno? And they&#39;re like the nonstop eye roll emojis that would go on in that text thread. SPEAKER_01: 8:07 Totally. David: 8:08 But then there&#39;s the group text thread that includes Berlin that says, Congratulations! Gavin: 8:12 Just added you. David: 8:13 So excited for you. Gavin: 8:15 Welcome to the club. Totally. unknown: 8:17 Yeah. Gavin: 8:19 But so then, of course, they went down a deep dive of uh Berlin Techno, and it definitely made me just want to like go rave. And they were picking apart uh the the attributes of um Berlin Techno. And it was pretty hilarious to hear two NPR nerds talking about it. But I thought, you know what? I think the gays would appreciate knowing that um you are not wasting your time by listening to dancing to all night long Berlin Techno. Pretty fun. David: 8:49 Anyway, you you know what is a big waste of time? Do tell our top three list. Gavin: 8:54 Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. David: 8:58 So this is my week. So um my top three list this week is what are the top three non-traditional places to run around in with your toddler? Yep. Listen, I have I have young kids, you have older kids, but we all know that as parents, we are desperate for places to exist with our children where we can partially ignore them. So here are my other than like the play places and parks and stuff like that, here are my top three. Uh the number three for me is we live in the New York City area, is the train. Literally, we will take the train from our town into Manhattan, we&#39;ll get right back on a different train and come right back out. Fancy. And it is so great because they crawl around the seats. It&#39;s like it&#39;s an enclosed space, it&#39;s exciting. There&#39;s the, you know, all the stuff passing, so it&#39;s pretty good. Love it. Uh, number two, now this is only for very, very, very young kids, like under one and a half. Barnes and Noble. Because their like little kids&#39; book, like board book section, has like stuffed animals. There&#39;s rarely anybody over there, and they&#39;re not going to destroy the place, and they&#39;ll just sit in your lap and read books. So that&#39;s a great one. Love it. Uh, number one for me, this is our go-to, Bob&#39;s discount furniture. Because it is a giant warehouse full of soft surfaces they can climb on and not destroy anything. And they often have like little free ice creams. We very often will spend an hour or two at Bob&#39;s. And they&#39;re all, I always feel so bad. These guys are like, can I help you find something? We&#39;re like, oh no, we&#39;re just looking. No, we&#39;re not. We&#39;re just here to experience your couches for free. So that&#39;s my list. What about you? Gavin: 10:31 All three of those are very, very relatable. Um, so on my list, I would say shocker, and it&#39;s only my number three, not my number one, is bars. I loved it being able to go to a bar with friends. Uh earlier in the daytime, not necessarily late at night, although there was a time that I had my newborn in a baby bjorn um at a bar, um, actually after rehearsing for the Macy&#39;s Day uh Thanksgiving parade, which was actually very fun. But anyway, you know what? I just like bringing bringing a little levity to a bar situation. Number two, cemeteries. I think it&#39;s kind of interesting. David: 11:06 This is a this list is taking turns. I did not expect. Gavin: 11:10 I welcome being among the spirits, talking about life and death and uh and letting my kids, you know. I some people might clutch their pearls at the idea of touching headstones, but I&#39;m like, you know what? This is uh this is part of life, is death. And uh and nobody&#39;s gonna yell at me to just like let them kind of run crazy around, right? Number one, airplanes. Now, I don&#39;t let them run crazy, but I do think that being able to walk up and down those aisles with a young kid is important to just like let them explore and see the people and touch the things, even though that those poor people being touched accidentally or being flirted with when they don&#39;t want to flirt with the toddler is a pain in the ass. But I will never forget the time that I was on an um international flight with uh my daughter, who was, I think, 10 months old at the time. She absolutely needed to get up and move. It was a long flight. So I let her crawl with me behind her. I didn&#39;t just let her go, but I let her crawl on this on the uh floor. And several of the people were like, Oh, you could, you couldn&#39;t possibly. And I&#39;m like, listen, listen, she&#39;s not crying, she&#39;s not screaming right now. Yes, she&#39;s picking up every single uh dirty germ from the floor of an airplane, but I don&#39;t know. I mean, schools are worse and um and daycare is worse. So it&#39;s an airplane, whatever. And um, and it was uh it was uh it was a non-traditional place that I felt good about like letting her explore and flirt with other people as she went up and down. David: 12:37 So there you go. So what are we doing next week? Gavin: 12:40 All right. Well, if you might see that I like themes, that is true. I like themes, and I want to hear what are the three best things about you as daddy according to your kids. Our guest today is a multi-hyphenate author, speaker, advocate, trans father shaking up all things normative. Like Serena Williams, Demi Moore, and every other celeb taking high-fashioned baby bump nudie picks. Our guest did the same, but as a man. Please welcome to the show, the revolutionary Tristan Reese. SPEAKER_00: 13:18 There&#39;s no nudity. Gavin: 13:19 Well, it was uh it was close. It was close. You were able to be, well, simply shirtless, right? And it was fantastic. Uh, I don&#39;t think I did any shirtless folks. Oh my god, then this intro is complete bullshit. David: 13:31 In my mind, we are we are in 10 seconds into this interview and you&#39;ve completely railroaded it. You&#39;ve offended our guests. Oh my god. Gavin: 13:39 Clearly, I just fantasized about shirtless pictures of you uh with a baby book. That&#39;s so weird. That is weird. That&#39;s so weird. Well, moving on from all of the awkwardness that I completely fucked up here. How have your besides from me, besides from me, how have your kids driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_00: 13:56 Oh my god. Uh I love it already. I love it already. That&#39;s a question. My okay, so this morning I had to say to my 13-year-old, hey, remember when you didn&#39;t do the laundry last night and you promised you would get up early this morning and do the laundry? Did that happen? And then she said, I never promised. I just said. David: 14:19 She&#39;s like, Your honor, if you&#39;ll check the tape, actually. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 14:24 All right. All right. Gavin: 14:25 So semantics driving us all um off the deep end for sure. SPEAKER_00: 14:30 Yep. And then my six-year-old is like snotty gross and coughing. And we were like, it&#39;s probably allergies, and just took him to school. So we&#39;ll see how that goes. David: 14:42 Oh, you&#39;re I know, I know the parking lot of daycare wipe the nose, get you gussied up. I know that whole routine where you&#39;re like, walk, we&#39;re gonna walk really fast past the administrator so they don&#39;t hear you coughing and then dump you in dick care. Gavin: 14:54 And you&#39;re in a safe space for all of that for sure. I mean, after all, school is just a petri dish anyway. But also, I mean, it is so past cold season, so obviously. SPEAKER_00: 15:06 Obviously. And I did, I gave him a Benadryl and patted him on the butt, set him into school. So hopefully. David: 15:12 Good luck with your...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we try and figure out short term pain for long term gain, Gavin is gay for Berlin techno, we find the top 3 places to run around with a toddler, and we a lucky to be joined this week by author, speaker, advocate, trans father and all around multi-hyphenate Trystan Reese who talks us through his pregnancy, who&apos;s the star in his relationship, and how he earned that elusive parenting merit badge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Everywhere, and Gavin Lod Gavin is at GavinLodge at happy hour. Do that one again because you didn&#39;t say my name right. unknown: 0:14 Oh. Gavin: 0:14 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. It&#39;s okay. I&#39;m sorry. I am so lucky that you have that you&#39;ve only fired me 16 times. I fired you twice today. David: 0:37 And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:52 So I was picking up my daughter at a playdate the other day, and the house was being run by a puppy. The puppy was teensy. Like I was able to hold it on one arm, but you could tell the entire household was revolving around this puppy. And the mom was like, I&#39;ve never had a dog before. I mean, it&#39;s just like crazy. Like I&#39;d leave it for all day while I go to work, and it&#39;s just pooping all over the place and peeing all over the place. And I said, being a fairly experienced dog owner, I&#39;m like, well, you do crate it, don&#39;t you? It&#39;s a brand new puppy. It&#39;s just a few weeks old. She&#39;s like, oh, but she just cries so much. And I&#39;m like, oh, come on. Mama, you have been a parent. Like, this is sleep training, girl. You have to sleep train this puppy. And while you never exactly put well, you did put a baby in a cage because it&#39;s called a crib. And the baby stays in the crib. And it keeps itself safe and it&#39;s safe, and it&#39;s warm and it&#39;s cozy and it&#39;s in a safe space. And you sleep train it. Like, girl, you&#39;re a parent. You should be able to know how to raise a dog. And the whole conversation was just like those comparisons about uh puppies and babies. Because I mean, for us, the dog was training wheels for parenting, you know? And in some cases, babies were easier, frankly. David: 2:13 I could see the article already. It says Gavin Law says Yorkshire Terriers are just like babies. Yeah. Like I just see it already. That&#39;s fine. But it&#39;s not, it&#39;s not untrue. Like it&#39;s it&#39;s not untrue about the things. It&#39;s so funny that you tell this story. We have not just talked about what we&#39;re gonna talk about, but literally the thing that I was gonna talk about was these things where you have to do something hard in the short term for a longer term like value. And and it and I&#39;m struggling with it right now with my four and a half year old, where he is such a dick all the time that I just kind of give up and I&#39;m like, well, then fuck you. I don&#39;t want to play Legos with you anymore. And then of course I become the four and a half year old, but then I&#39;m like, no, you&#39;ve got this is a short term. And so like last night he was like, he has 15 minutes after his iPad before we have to go to bed. So what do you want to do? You&#39;ll play magnet tiles, you want to tell stories, you want to do what else? And he&#39;s like, I want to work on this Lego car, which somebody gave him, and it&#39;s for like 12 and up. So it is millions of the smallest little pieces. Gavin: 3:12 You know, Legos, they do not misadvertise. The ages are appropriate. Even if you have a little Einstein, which of course we all have little Einsteins, the fact is a four-year-old needs to do four-year-old Legos. Da]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we try and figure out short term pain for long term gain, Gavin is gay for Berlin techno, we find the top 3 places to run around with a toddler, and we a lucky to be joined this week by author, speaker, advocate, trans father and all around multi-hyphenate Trystan Reese who talks us through his pregnancy, who&apos;s the star in his relationship, and how he earned that elusive parenting merit badge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Everywhere, and Gavin Lod Gavin is at GavinLodge at happy hour. Do that one again because you didn&#39;t say my name right. unknown: 0:14 Oh. Gavin: 0:14 Or you can DM us on Instagram, we are at Gatriarchs Podcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge. I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m sorry. I&#3]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with actor Tuc Watkins</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-actor-tuc-watkins/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 08 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David can&apos;t help himself and does a double rant, Gavin receives a text from his husband listing the top 3 things that are most annoying about him, and we are joined this week by actor and President of the good hair club, Tuc Wakins, who tells us the story of his journey to parenthood while being inside the dome of Hollywood, and lulls us with the gentle tones of lawn care. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am doing all that I possibly can to uh to bring Oh man. David: 0:07 I was ho I didn&#39;t know if we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open. I was I was worried we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open today and you just ask and ye shall receive. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:31 I&#39;m starting with a rant. I&#39;m starting with a double rant. And I&#39;m just I&#39;m just what&#39;s new? I&#39;m too old. I&#39;m too old for this. So I have been a banking customer of Wells Fargo for 20 years, maybe. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:46 It was like not where I was expecting you to go today already, but okay, let&#39;s just go to Wells Fargo. David: 0:51 Get ready for like the like the most nuanced old man argument of all time. Gavin: 0:55 Yeah, get off your lawn. David: 0:57 I get corporate stuff, right? I get when you call the help desk of somebody, they have to, they have a script they&#39;re following or whatever. It annoys me a little bit because I just I just want to talk to a person and I want to tell you the thing I need, and you&#39;re gonna tell me how I get it, and then we just end the phone call. I I I just I just want us to have the relationship that we both want out of this. So I get that, but I also get that you know they&#39;re required to say things. Wells, if if any of you out there have banked with Wells Fargo, it is so over the fucking top. It is, I will not go into our bank because it makes me so uncomfortable. So what I mean is I do a lot of because when I play poker, I&#39;ll do cash transactions. So I have to go into the bank to do this. And you go in and you&#39;re like, hey, I&#39;d like to make a deposit for you know a thousand dollars. They&#39;re like, Great, how&#39;s your day going? Great, thank you. Not working today? I&#39;m just I&#39;m I&#39;m yeah, I&#39;m just at lunch. Oh, great, cool weather, right? You got any plans for later? I swear to God, Gavin, that is the interaction. And I know it&#39;s required of them because every time I go, no matter who it is, there are three or four questions that beget a little personal. So my husband and I had to go into the bank to like open a new account because you had to be there in person. And the woman called me before and she goes, Hey, this is I don&#39;t know, I&#39;ll say Gavin. Hey, this is Gavin from Wells Fargo. I said, Oh, hi, how you doing? And I said, Is this to confirm my appointment for tomorrow? And she goes, Yeah, how you doing today? I&#39;m like, girl, I don&#39;t know what you think this relationship is, but it is strictly, are you coming to the appointment tomorrow? Yes, I am. And then we get there, and she&#39;s like, it&#39;s just question after question of just like empty bullshit. And it&#39;s I I am okay with a how you doing, or isn&#39;t it crazy windy today? But that&#39;s where I want you to stop talking and I want you to just tell me business. I was, I was, I want to crawl out of my skin, and I know it&#39;s old of me, and I know I&#39;m old man, I know I&#39;m winky. But does anybody else have this experience with Wells Fargo? Gavin: 2:57 Listen, what is most apparent to me here is that you are a New Jerseyite in this story because you are apparently Wells Fargo is taking all of its personnel training from the Midwest because that conviviality is that&#39;s how the rest of the world is, except for the No, but is it but is it friendly at the top? David: 3:16 And then we just are friendly is different than like, hey, tell me your blood type. I&#39;m like, girl, what are you what are you doing here? Like, but it&#39;s it was I remember one time somebody being like, hey, no working today. I was like, what does that matter? Right. Gavin: 3:29 Why are we and why it it&#39;s also super presumptuous to be like, oh, uh why do you think it looks like I&#39;m not working? Because I&#39;m a man or because I&#39;m because the only fence server is down. What are you talking about? David: 3:42 Like, anyway, I&#39;m an old man. Gavin: 3:43 I do think that&#39;s it. This is super New Jerseyite of you, not necessarily old man, but I would say that false uh false uh charm and false corporate uh friendliness does grate on me big time. And the same thing goes for whenever I&#39;m on the phone with customer service, and they just have to go through so many rigmaroles of like uh they they have such a scripted response to, oh yes, I understand your situation. Yeah let me see how I can help you. And I&#39;m like, just speak like a human being. David: 4:14 That&#39;s what I&#39;m talking about. It&#39;s it&#39;s literally the personification of I hope this email finds you well. I don&#39;t need that part of it. I don&#39;t need you to start the email. Just say you owe us$500, and here&#39;s what I said in the check. That&#39;s all I need. Anyway, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just there&#39;s nothing, no point to this. Gavin: 4:30 I just I was gonna say there there is clearly no point to this, but I&#39;m gonna try to bring it back for this our very bored listener, thinking, what are they talking about? What does it have to do with parenting? But seriously, what does it have to do with parenting where you&#39;re like, I just here&#39;s another thing. I just want my kids to be kind and try hard in life. In the end, I just want them to be kind and try hard. David: 4:50 Just don&#39;t, I just don&#39;t want my kids to work for Wells Fargo. That&#39;s the only thing I want in life. But um, I&#39;m also gonna complain about something else that is very parenting-related, but it&#39;s not really a complaint, it&#39;s more of a overview or something I&#39;ve noticed. But definitely a double rant. Gavin: 5:03 Double rant. David: 5:04 It&#39;s a double rant. So my son is really getting into rainbows and unicorns and fairies. And you know what? Listen, what what what that means, we all know. But there&#39;s just like he&#39;s starting to really ask for like, I want the pink cake, I want the red, he loves rainbows. So my husband and I are like, you know what? Let&#39;s let&#39;s do a sweet thing and let&#39;s order him. He loves rainbows and hearts. So I was like, he likes zipper hoodies, like his dad. So I was like, listen, let&#39;s get him a rainbow hoodie with hearts on it. So then we go on Amazon, we&#39;re like, rainbow hearts. The the amount of gender separation between what rainbows are and what trucks and stuff like we couldn&#39;t find anything in a quote unquote boy size or everything that was rainbow was girl zipper hoodie. And it was so funny how like we really even on Amazon, which has arguably everything for sale on the world, yeah, there is you can&#39;t find a boy&#39;s, and first of all, the fact that it&#39;s separated by gender, you know, that&#39;s another conversation. But it was just a it was real my husband and I were like, wow, this is really weird. We can&#39;t find anything that&#39;s not purposely being driven for girls that has rainbows on it from for boys. PJs, he wanted Elsa PJs. There&#39;s no boy Elsa PJs. Well, right. And I get that that&#39;s simply in the name. Gavin: 6:19 It&#39;s just it&#39;s just in the name, though, also the label, right? I mean, and it it explains girls&#39; pajamas, right? David: 6:25 It&#39;ll say girls zipper hoodie, girls rainbow zipper hoodie. Yeah. Gavin: 6:28 What if a little pop-up comes up when you hit click and you put it in your cart and it says, but is this for a boy or is this for a girl? You think, wow, there&#39;s a they&#39;re really double downning on this. Um and you click on boy and it goes faggot. David: 6:41 And you&#39;re like, whoa, whoa, Amazon. Gavin: 6:42 Whoa. Well, it is interesting. I actually thought that there was more of a push in the last couple of years to unisexualize the um oh god, that was not a term that we should put out in the I mean it it it may be. I mean, there may have been, but it&#39;s unisexify um the the uh the clothing because Target has tried or pretended to do so, right? David: 7:03 So But I think Target is is the seller versus Amazon, which is just a reseller. So it&#39;s like Amazon is not really controlling the titles of these captions. But it was just an interesting view that I&#39;ve never like seen as a cisgender male who&#39;s generally into boy things, except legally on the musical. Um it&#39;s never why is that a girl thing? Listen, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 7:22 You are part of the problem, David. I am part of the I am the problem. It it it does not need to be so gendered. I mean, we absolutely put these uh expectations on genderizing everything, and it&#39;s absurd because that&#39;s like the third made-up word you&#39;ve had in this episode. David: 7:42 So, anyway, that&#39;s a double rant. But you know what else is terrible to listen to? unknown: 7:46 What? David: 7:47 Our top three list. Gavin: 7:48 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week&#39;s topic is the worst qualities about you according to your heart. Husband. I almost said husband or partner, and I said heart, hearts, heart, hearts, heart, hearts nens, your heartner, your heartner and worst qualities about you according to your heartner and hard on. Uh, and I want you to know that I&#39;m reading this cold. Texted my partner earlier today and said, give this to me. And he&#39;s like, Am I going to get in trouble for this? I said, No, no, no, no, no. It&#39;s totally fine. We&#39;re in a safe space. David: 8:23 Reading it cold. I cannot believe, guys, this is a big deal. I read it. I do. Send it to me right now. I&#39;m gonna read yours. I because while you&#39;re doing that, I want to tell. I consider when you told when you suggested this, I was like, There is no way in hell my sensitive ass will ask my husband what these are. Because no matter what they are, I will be hurt. So I was like, I&#39;m writing this list. And I told him, he was like, Yeah, no, no, that&#39;s I want to stay married to you. We&#39;re gonna say this. This is very exciting, though. Gavin: 8:51 I am not kidding. I have not read this at all, and I just took a screenshot and sent it to David, and I heard the ding as it came through. So you get to read this. David: 9:02 All right, so I want to say that he started this text thread by saying, You have more good traits than bad. Oh. So that&#39;s very sweet. All right, right? That&#39;s very sweet. But with that, uh, I don&#39;t know what the order of these things are. You can order it however you want. You can do it on the fly. I have faith in you. You teach improv. Here we go. In number three, you overpack the washing machine with too many clothes. Nothing gets washed that way. True. How do you feel about that? Is that true? Gavin: 9:32 True, absolutely true. All right, absolutely true. David: 9:34 Uh uh number two for Gaben, you don&#39;t turn the coffee machine off after using it. It keeps just making that heating sound every three minutes. Annoying. He said every three minutes, dot dot dot. Annoying. Gavin: 9:47 But I leave it on for him because I&#39;m generally up before him, and I make coffee. We have a Keurig, which don&#39;t get me started on that because our previous coffee machine was perfectly fine, but he had to get a Keurig, so I leave it on for him because I cause. All right. David: 10:02 All right, and number one, the number one thing that most annoys your husband about you. Uh you badger the kids to do things, reading, practice, piano, chores, to their frustration, and then you keep going. So not knowing when to quit. Wow. Gavin: 10:21 He is ice cold. And he is 1,000% correct about that, especially that last one. I actually didn&#39;t realize that I overstuffed the uh washing machine. I he&#39;s never voiced verbalized that, but okay. David: 10:36 But now he has on national radio. God, our listener is just lapping up the drama. Um, so that was fantastic. So I&#39;ll go for my top three traits that I think are annoying to my husband. I refuse to ask him. Gavin: 10:51 Wow. I I I have so many thoughts about your relationship now, but anyway, go ahead. David: 10:55 All right. So uh in number three, when I am like in my phone, like if I&#39;m texting or emailing, the rest of the world does not exist. I can&#39;t hear my husband screaming, I&#39;m on fire 10 feet away from me if I&#39;m looking at an Instagram comment. Something about that phone just pulls me in in a way that fucking infuriates him. Um number two, always looking at myself in the mirror and hating myself. My husband catches me do that all the time, and he gets so mad at me, A, because he thinks I&#39;m beautiful and wonderful the way I am. Duh. And also he&#39;s like, don&#39;t let the kids see you hating yourself every time you cross something. Gavin: 11:35 You do, you do need to start loving yourself a little bit to set a good example for your kiddos. David: 11:39 That&#39;s for sure. I do. That&#39;s true. And the number one, I think most annoying thing about me to my husband, I drag him to open houses that we can&#39;t afford every single weekend. Every single weekend. I&#39;m like, I want to look at this house. He&#39;s like, How much would this cost us? I&#39;m like, just 10,000 a month. He&#39;s like, David, on what fucking planet can we afford that? And I&#39;m like, no, we can make it work. And I make him go to open houses every single weekend. Gavin: 12:07 Do you bring the kids also? Is this another example of um your activities? Um, inappropriate activities for kids. Oh, whoops, wait a minute. That&#39;s next week&#39;s topic, but oh shit, that&#39;s right. David: 12:18 Yeah. It&#39;s fine. Oh, yeah. Gavin: 12:21 Our listener understands. David: 12:22 So sometimes, sometimes we bring the kids and sometimes we get a babysitter. But I literally am like, no, no, no, we&#39;re gonna buy this house. He&#39;s like, David, this house is$10 million. We have$11 in our bank account. What are you talking about? So that&#39;s my most annoying quality, I think, to my husband. Gavin: 12:38 So will this be a topic uh for another top three list sometime when your kids would say the same thing? The most annoying thing about daddy is that he drags us to something called an open house. David: 12:50 No, because they get to play in these houses, they get to just like explore these fucking cavernous giant homes with big yards and you know, yeah. Gavin: 12:58 And see how the other half lives. Okay. All right. So, what is next week&#39;s topic? David: 13:04 Next week, I want to know your top three non-traditional places to bring a toddler just to run around. Gavin: 13:12 Kind of like an open house. unknown: 13:15 Yeah. Gavin: 13:16 So our next guest needs very little introduction beyond the fact that he was named by Soap Opera Digest their most entertaining male character. Not only is he a big-time actor, a big-time daddy, a big-time zaddy, he&#39;s also got the sexiest name to ever grace the Gatriarch studio. Welcome, Tuck Watkins. Wow. SPEAKER_01: 13:42 What an introduction. Can I just lead off by saying hi marks for the title? David: 13:49 Yeah. Wait, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. SPEAKER_01: 13:51 Really? It&#39;s hi marks. I I I love a I I love a pun. And it sort of names itself, doesn&#39;t it? Totally. It really does. SPEAKER_00: 13:58 Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 13:59 Yeah. It&#39;s like nothing, nothing but cakes. I love that. David: 14:04 Well, yeah, we&#39;re not. That&#39;s my grinder handle, nothing but cakes. Yeah. Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 The hand job nail and spa. It&#39;s a real place, by the way. Gavin: 14:12 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That&#39;s not a surprise in the slightest bit. So tell us, uh, how have your kids driven you...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David can&apos;t help himself and does a double rant, Gavin receives a text from his husband listing the top 3 things that are most annoying about him, and we are joined this week by actor and President of the good hair club, Tuc Wakins, who t]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David can&apos;t help himself and does a double rant, Gavin receives a text from his husband listing the top 3 things that are most annoying about him, and we are joined this week by actor and President of the good hair club, Tuc Wakins, who tells us the story of his journey to parenthood while being inside the dome of Hollywood, and lulls us with the gentle tones of lawn care. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am doing all that I possibly can to uh to bring Oh man. David: 0:07 I was ho I didn&#39;t know if we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open. I was I was worried we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open today and you just ask and ye shall receive. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:31 I&#39;m starting with a rant. I&#39;m starting with a double rant. And I&#39;m just I&#39;m just what&#39;s new? I&#39;m too old. I&#39;m too old for this. So I have been a banking customer of Wells Fargo for 20 years, maybe. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:46 It was like not where I was expecting you to go today already, but okay, let&#39;s just go to Wells Fargo. David: 0:51 Get ready for like the like the most nuanced old man argument of all time. Gavin: 0:55 Yeah, get off your lawn. David: 0:57 I get corporate stuff, right? I get when you call the help desk of somebody, they have to, they have a script they&#39;re following or whatever. It annoys me a little bit because I just I just want to talk to a person and I want to tell you the thing I need, and you&#39;re gonna tell me how I get it, and then we just end the phone call. I I I just I just want us to have the relationship that we both want out of this. So I get that, but I also get that you know they&#39;re required to say things. Wells, if if any of you out there have banked with Wells Fargo, it is so over the fucking top. It is, I will not go into our bank because it makes me so uncomfortable. So what I mean is I do a lot of because when I play poker, I&#39;ll do cash transactions. So I have to go into the bank to do this. And you go in and you&#39;re like, hey, I&#39;d like to make a deposit for you know a thousand dollars. They&#39;re like, Great, how&#39;s your day going? Great, thank you. Not working today? I&#39;m just I&#39;m I&#39;m yeah, I&#39;m just at lunch. Oh, great, cool weather, right? You got any plans for later? I swear to God, Gavin, that is the interaction. And I know it&#39;s required of them because every time I go, no matter who it is, there are three or four questions that beget a little personal. So my husband and I had to go into the bank to like open a new account because you had to be there in person. And the woman called me before and she goes, Hey, this is I don&#39;t know, I&#39;ll say Gavin. Hey, this is Gavin from Wells Fargo. I said, Oh, hi, how you doing? And I said, Is this to confirm my appointment for tomorrow? And she goes, Yeah, how you doing today? I&#39;m like, girl, I don&#39;t know what you think this relationship is, but it is strictly, are you coming to the appointment tomorrow? Yes, I am. And then we get there, and she&#39;s like, it&#39;s just question after question of just like empty bullshit. And it&#39;s I I am okay with a how you doing, or isn&#39;t it crazy windy today? But that&#39;s where I want you to stop talking and I want you to just tell me business. I was, I was, I want to crawl out of my skin, and I know it&#39;s old of me, and I know I&#39;m old man, I know I&#39;m winky. But does anybody else have this experience with Wells Fargo? Gavin: 2:57 Listen, what is most apparent to me here is that you are a New Jerseyite in this story because you are apparently Wells Fargo is taking all of its personnel training from the Midwest because that conviviality is that&#39;s how the rest of the world is, except for the No, but is it but is it friendly at the top? David: 3:16 And then we just are friendly is different than like, hey, tell me your blood type. I&#39;m like, girl, what are you what are you doing here? Like, but it&#39;s it was I remember one time somebody being like, hey, no working today. I was like, what does that matter? Right. Gavin: 3:29 Why are we and why it it&#39;s also super presumptuous to be like, oh, uh why do you think it looks like I&#39;m not working? Because I&#39;m a man or because I&#39;m because the only fence server is down. What are you talking about? David: 3:42 Like, anyway, I&#39;m an old man. Gavin: 3:43 I do think that&#39;s it. This is super New Jerseyite of you, not necessarily old man, but I would say that false uh false uh charm and false corporate uh friendliness does grate on me big time. And the same thing goes for whenever I&#39;m on the phone with customer service, and they just have to go through so many rigmaroles of like uh they they have such a scripted response to, oh yes, I understand your situation. Yeah let me see how I can help you. And I&#39;m like, just speak like a human being. David: 4:14 That&#39;s what I&#39;m talking about. It&#39;s it&#39;s literally the personification of I hope this email finds you well. I don&#39;t need that part of it. I don&#39;t need you to start the email. Just say you owe us$500, and here&#39;s what I said in the check. That&#39;s all I need. Anyway, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just there&#39;s nothing, no point to this. Gavin: 4:30 I just I was gonna say there there is clearly no point to this, but I&#39;m gonna try to bring it back for this our very bored listener, thinking, what are they talking about? What does it have to do with parenting? But seriously, what does it have to do with parenting where you&#39;re like, I just here&#39;s another thing. I just want my kids to be kind and try hard in life. In the end, I just want them to be kind and try hard. David: 4:50 Just don&#39;t, I just don&#39;t want my kids to work for Wells Fargo. That&#39;s the only thing I want in life. But um, I&#39;m also gonna complain about something else that is very parenting-related, but it&#39;s not really a complaint, it&#39;s more of a overview or something I&#39;ve noticed. But definitely a double rant. Gavin: 5:03 Double rant. David: 5:04 It&#39;s a double rant. So my son is really getting into rainbows and unicorns and fairies. And you know what? Listen, what what what that means, we all know. But there&#39;s just like he&#39;s starting to really ask for like, I want the pink cake, I want the red, he loves rainbows. So my husband and I are like, you know what? Let&#39;s let&#39;s do a sweet thing and let&#39;s order him. He loves rainbows and hearts. So I was like, he likes zipper hoodies, like his dad. So I was like, listen, let&#39;s get him a rainbow hoodie with hearts on it. So then we go on Amazon, we&#39;re like, rainbow hearts. The the amount of gender separation between what rainbows are and what trucks and stuff like we couldn&#39;t find anything in a quote unquote boy size or everything that was rainbow was girl zipper hoodie. And it was so funny how like we really even on Amazon, which has arguably everything for sale on the world, yeah, there is you can&#39;t find a boy&#39;s, and first of all, the fact that it&#39;s separated by gender, you know, that&#39;s another conversation. But it was just a it was real my husband and I were like, wow, this is really weird. We can&#39;t find anything that&#39;s not purposely being driven for girls that has rainbows on it from for boys. PJs, he wanted Elsa PJs. There&#39;s no boy Elsa PJs. Well, right. And I get that that&#39;s simply in the name. Gavin: 6:19 It&#39;s just it&#39;s just in the name, though, also the label, right? I mean, and it it explains girls&#39; pajamas, right? David: 6:25 It&#39;ll say girls zipper hoodie, girls rainbow zipper hoodie. Yeah. Gavin: 6:28 What if a little pop-up comes up when you hit click and you put it in your cart and it says, but is this for a boy or is this for a girl? You think, wow, there&#39;s a they&#39;re really double downning on this. Um and you click on boy and it goes faggot. David: 6:41 And you&#39;re like, whoa, whoa, Amazon. Gavin: 6:42 Whoa. Well, it is interesting. I actually thought that there was more of a push in the last couple of years to unisexualize the um oh god, that was not a term that we should put out in the I mean it it it may be. I mean, there may have been, but it&#39;s unisexify um the the uh the clothing because Target has tried or pretended to do so, right? David: 7:03 So But I think Target is is the seller versus Amazon, which is just a reseller. So it&#39;s like Amazon is not really controlling the titles of these captions. But it was just an interesting view that I&#39;ve never like seen as a cisgender male who&#39;s generally into boy things, except legally on the musical. Um it&#39;s never why is that a girl thing? Listen, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 7:22 You are part of the problem, David. I am part of the I am the problem. It it it does not need to be so gendered. I mean, we absolutely put these uh expectations on genderizing everything, and it&#39;s absurd because that&#39;s like the third made-up word you&#39;ve had in this episode. David: 7:42 So, anyway, that&#39;s a double rant. But you know what else is terrible to listen to? unknown: 7:46 What? David: 7:47 Our top three list. Gavin: 7:48 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. This week&#39;s topic is the worst qualities about you according to your heart. Husband. I almost said husband or partner, and I said heart, hearts, heart, hearts, heart, hearts nens, your heartner, your heartner and worst qualities about you according to your heartner and hard on. Uh, and I want you to know that I&#39;m reading this cold. Texted my partner earlier today and said, give this to me. And he&#39;s like, Am I going to get in trouble for this? I said, No, no, no, no, no. It&#39;s totally fine. We&#39;re in a safe space. David: 8:23 Reading it cold. I cannot believe, guys, this is a big deal. I read it. I do. Send it to me right now. I&#39;m gonna read yours. I because while you&#39;re doing that, I want to tell. I consider when you told when you suggested this, I was like, There is no way in hell my sensitive ass will ask my husband what these are. Because no matter what they are, I will be hurt. So I was like, I&#39;m writing this list. And I told him, he was like, Yeah, no, no, that&#39;s I want to stay married to you. We&#39;re gonna say this. This is very exciting, though. Gavin: 8:51 I am not kidding. I have not read this at all, and I just took a screenshot and sent it to David, and I heard the ding as it came through. So you get to read this. David: 9:02 All right, so I want to say that he started this text thread by saying, You have more good traits than bad. Oh. So that&#39;s very sweet. All right, right? That&#39;s very sweet. But with that, uh, I don&#39;t know what the order of these things are. You can order it however you want. You can do it on the fly. I have faith in you. You teach improv. Here we go. In number three, you overpack the washing machine with too many clothes. Nothing gets washed that way. True. How do you feel about that? Is that true? Gavin: 9:32 True, absolutely true. All right, absolutely true. David: 9:34 Uh uh number two for Gaben, you don&#39;t turn the coffee machine off after using it. It keeps just making that heating sound every three minutes. Annoying. He said every three minutes, dot dot dot. Annoying. Gavin: 9:47 But I leave it on for him because I&#39;m generally up before him, and I make coffee. We have a Keurig, which don&#39;t get me started on that because our previous coffee machine was perfectly fine, but he had to get a Keurig, so I leave it on for him because I cause. All right. David: 10:02 All right, and number one, the number one thing that most annoys your husband about you. Uh you badger the kids to do things, reading, practice, piano, chores, to their frustration, and then you keep going. So not knowing when to quit. Wow. Gavin: 10:21 He is ice cold. And he is 1,000% correct about that, especially that last one. I actually didn&#39;t realize that I overstuffed the uh washing machine. I he&#39;s never voiced verbalized that, but okay. David: 10:36 But now he has on national radio. God, our listener is just lapping up the drama. Um, so that was fantastic. So I&#39;ll go for my top three traits that I think are annoying to my husband. I refuse to ask him. Gavin: 10:51 Wow. I I I have so many thoughts about your relationship now, but anyway, go ahead. David: 10:55 All right. So uh in number three, when I am like in my phone, like if I&#39;m texting or emailing, the rest of the world does not exist. I can&#39;t hear my husband screaming, I&#39;m on fire 10 feet away from me if I&#39;m looking at an Instagram comment. Something about that phone just pulls me in in a way that fucking infuriates him. Um number two, always looking at myself in the mirror and hating myself. My husband catches me do that all the time, and he gets so mad at me, A, because he thinks I&#39;m beautiful and wonderful the way I am. Duh. And also he&#39;s like, don&#39;t let the kids see you hating yourself every time you cross something. Gavin: 11:35 You do, you do need to start loving yourself a little bit to set a good example for your kiddos. David: 11:39 That&#39;s for sure. I do. That&#39;s true. And the number one, I think most annoying thing about me to my husband, I drag him to open houses that we can&#39;t afford every single weekend. Every single weekend. I&#39;m like, I want to look at this house. He&#39;s like, How much would this cost us? I&#39;m like, just 10,000 a month. He&#39;s like, David, on what fucking planet can we afford that? And I&#39;m like, no, we can make it work. And I make him go to open houses every single weekend. Gavin: 12:07 Do you bring the kids also? Is this another example of um your activities? Um, inappropriate activities for kids. Oh, whoops, wait a minute. That&#39;s next week&#39;s topic, but oh shit, that&#39;s right. David: 12:18 Yeah. It&#39;s fine. Oh, yeah. Gavin: 12:21 Our listener understands. David: 12:22 So sometimes, sometimes we bring the kids and sometimes we get a babysitter. But I literally am like, no, no, no, we&#39;re gonna buy this house. He&#39;s like, David, this house is$10 million. We have$11 in our bank account. What are you talking about? So that&#39;s my most annoying quality, I think, to my husband. Gavin: 12:38 So will this be a topic uh for another top three list sometime when your kids would say the same thing? The most annoying thing about daddy is that he drags us to something called an open house. David: 12:50 No, because they get to play in these houses, they get to just like explore these fucking cavernous giant homes with big yards and you know, yeah. Gavin: 12:58 And see how the other half lives. Okay. All right. So, what is next week&#39;s topic? David: 13:04 Next week, I want to know your top three non-traditional places to bring a toddler just to run around. Gavin: 13:12 Kind of like an open house. unknown: 13:15 Yeah. Gavin: 13:16 So our next guest needs very little introduction beyond the fact that he was named by Soap Opera Digest their most entertaining male character. Not only is he a big-time actor, a big-time daddy, a big-time zaddy, he&#39;s also got the sexiest name to ever grace the Gatriarch studio. Welcome, Tuck Watkins. Wow. SPEAKER_01: 13:42 What an introduction. Can I just lead off by saying hi marks for the title? David: 13:49 Yeah. Wait, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. SPEAKER_01: 13:51 Really? It&#39;s hi marks. I I I love a I I love a pun. And it sort of names itself, doesn&#39;t it? Totally. It really does. SPEAKER_00: 13:58 Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 13:59 Yeah. It&#39;s like nothing, nothing but cakes. I love that. David: 14:04 Well, yeah, we&#39;re not. That&#39;s my grinder handle, nothing but cakes. Yeah. Yeah. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 The hand job nail and spa. It&#39;s a real place, by the way. Gavin: 14:12 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That&#39;s not a surprise in the slightest bit. So tell us, uh, how have your kids driven you...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David can&apos;t help himself and does a double rant, Gavin receives a text from his husband listing the top 3 things that are most annoying about him, and we are joined this week by actor and President of the good hair club, Tuc Wakins, who tells us the story of his journey to parenthood while being inside the dome of Hollywood, and lulls us with the gentle tones of lawn care. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am doing all that I possibly can to uh to bring Oh man. David: 0:07 I was ho I didn&#39;t know if we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open. I was I was worried we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open today and you just ask and ye shall receive. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:31 I&#39;m starting with a rant. I&#39;m starting with a double rant. And I&#39;m just I&#39;m just what&#39;s new? I&#39;m too old. I&#39;m too old for this. So I have been a banking customer of Wells Fargo for 20 years, maybe. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:46 It was like not where I was expecting you to go today already, but okay, let&#39;s just go to Wells Fargo. David: 0:51 Get ready for like the like the most nuanced old man argument of all time. Gavin: 0:55 Yeah, get off your lawn. David: 0:57 I get corporate stuff, right? I get when you call the help desk of somebody, they have to, they have a script they&#39;re following or whatever. It annoys me a little bit because I just I just want to talk to a person and I want to tell you the thing I need, and you&#39;re gonna tell me how I get it, and then we just end the phone call. I I I just I just want us to have the relationship that we both want out of this. So I get that, but I also get that you know they&#39;re required to say things. Wells, if if any of you out there have banked with Wells Fargo, it is so over the fucking top. It is, I will not go into our bank because it makes me so uncomfortable. So what I mean is I do a lot of because when I play poker, I&#39;ll do cash transactions. So I have to go into the bank to do this. And you go in and you&#39;re like, hey, I&#39;d like to make a deposit for you know a thousand dollars. They&#39;re like, Great, how&#39;s your day going? Great, thank you. Not working today? I&#39;m just I&#39;m I&#39;m yeah, I&#39;m just at lunch. Oh, great, cool weather, right? You got any plans for later? I swear to God, Gavin, that is the interaction. And I know it&#39;s required of them because every time I go, no matter who it is, there are three or four questions that beget a little personal. So my husband and I had to go into the bank to like open a new account because you had to be there in person. And the woman called me before and she goes, Hey, this is I don&#39;t know, I&#39;ll say Gavin. Hey, this is Gavin from Wells Fargo. I said, Oh, hi, how you doing? And I said, Is this to confirm my appointment for tomorrow? And she goes, Yeah, how you doing today? I&#39;m like, girl, I don&#39;t know what you think this relationship is, but it is strictly, are you coming to the appointment tomorrow? Yes, I am. And then we get there, and she&#39;s like, it&#39;s just question after question of just like empty bullshit. And it&#39;s I I am okay with a how you doing, or isn&#39;t it crazy windy today? But that&#39;s where I want you to stop talking and I want you to just tell me business. I was, I was, I want to crawl out of my skin, and I know it&#39;s old of me, and I know I&#39;m old man, I know I&#39;m winky. But does anybody else have this experience with Wells Fargo? Gavin: 2:57 Listen, what is most apparent to me here is that you are a New Jerseyite in this story because you are apparently Wells Fargo is taking all of its personnel training from the Midwest because that conviviality is that&#39;s how the rest of the world is, except for the No, but is it but is it friendly at the top? David: 3:16 And then we just are friendly ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David can&apos;t help himself and does a double rant, Gavin receives a text from his husband listing the top 3 things that are most annoying about him, and we are joined this week by actor and President of the good hair club, Tuc Wakins, who tells us the story of his journey to parenthood while being inside the dome of Hollywood, and lulls us with the gentle tones of lawn care. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am doing all that I possibly can to uh to bring Oh man. David: 0:07 I was ho I didn&#39;t know if we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open. I was I was worried we weren&#39;t gonna get a cold open today and you just ask and ye shall receive. Gavin: 0:16 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:31 I&#39;m starting with a rant. I&#39;m starting with a double rant. And I&#39;m just I&#39;m just what&#39;s new? I&#39;m too old. I&#39;m too old for this. So I have ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Megan Hall-Greenberg</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-megan-hall-greenberg/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we dive deep into David&apos;s annoyance over OPK&apos;s, as well as OKP&apos;s, we rank the top three Kool Aid&apos;s we drink, and we are joined by Surrogacy hall of famer Megan Hall-Greenberg who tells us how she runs 3,106 businesses while also being a Mom, as well as how her last surrogacy journey was one in a million. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 There you are. You&#39;re back. David: 0:01 Did I did I go away? Oh, I said a really funny joke, too. Um I promised you. You&#39;ll just have to believe me. Um and this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I went to the park with friends of the show, Rob and Carl and their son. Oh yeah. Um, and we were having fun, and I was reminded of something that I want to double down on. Gavin: 0:34 Okay. David: 0:35 I don&#39;t like OPKs. We&#39;ve talked about this, right? I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids. I don&#39;t care how cute they are. I don&#39;t care what they&#39;re doing. They annoy me by just existing. Okay. I&#39;m not, that doesn&#39;t include like people I love. Um, but I, you know, people kids should exist. But what I learned this weekend at the park was I also hate OKPs. I hate other kids&#39; parents more than other people&#39;s kids. Because I was at the park and we were, you know, every we had our bags or whatever, and I&#39;m sitting there having a snack with my daughter, and she&#39;s eating goldfish out of a bag. And this girl walks up and she goes, I want some. And I said, Oh she was like eight, seven, older. I said, Oh, well, then you should ask your parents to get you some. Like, I was being shady already. Yeah, you were. She was like, Well, look right there. I said, Yeah, she&#39;s eating her goldfish. She&#39;s like, Do you have any more? I&#39;m like, Am I being asked for a dollar by a homeless person in Manhattan? What is happening? And I said, No, that&#39;s all I have. And then she goes, Well, can I have the rest of hers? Bitch, no, you can&#39;t. You can&#39;t. And in fact, you can go fuck yourself because what are we doing here? And also, where are your parents? And what is going on? And so this girl&#39;s parent comes over and she&#39;s like, Oh, is she bothering you? And of course, I&#39;m like, no, she&#39;s just fish. And then she starts, and then in front of her parent, she starts going through our bags. Wow. And I look at the parent kind of being like, because I&#39;m not gonna go, hey, bitch, get your hands out of my bags, but I&#39;m also looking at the parent because like if that was my kid, my kids deal shit all the time. I&#39;m like, hey, like, honey, this is not Iris or whatever. She just stands there and watches her daughter pick through this bag. And I&#39;m like, what is happening here? What is happening here? So I was like, hey, can I get you something? Anyway, I like led our way out of it, but I I&#39;m just doubling down. I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids and I don&#39;t like other kids&#39; parents. So basically, everybody who exists in the world, get the fuck away from me. Gavin: 2:48 Yeah, you&#39;re I mean, you are so many levels of cranky t-shirts with cats on it that say, I&#39;m not a morning person and today&#39;s not your day, or you know, some shit like that about like basically I only like two things in the world, myself and my cat, kind of thing. I mean, you are several levels of get off my lawn right here. But you are so right. And it&#39;s never all ultimately the kids that we don&#39;t like, which is of course all of the others, uh-huh, it&#39;s not their fault that they&#39;re assholes. It&#39;s absolutely the parents&#39; fault. David: 3:19 Well, usually. I mean, my kid steals now. Did I tell you this? He&#39;s stealing now. Okay. He&#39;s like stealing, he&#39;s like stealing my teacher&#39;s like or his teacher&#39;s stuff. He at swim class, I saw him grab the bracelet of his swim teacher and put it in his hands. I&#39;m my kid is actively committing. He&#39;s a kleptomaniac. He&#39;s actively committing crimes. But the second I see it, I&#39;m like running down there, I&#39;m like, this is not what we do, right? So maybe it&#39;s the kids, maybe it&#39;s the parents, but it doesn&#39;t matter. I want to do that. Gavin: 3:47 Well, you said you made however, you made your kid stop and you are teaching him that he cannot do this. He cannot rifle through somebody else&#39;s bag and he&#39;s in front of them. David: 3:57 But they said you can&#39;t have any more goldfish. Gavin: 3:59 He cannot steal jewelry off of somebody&#39;s wrists. That&#39;s that is some Oliver level shit right there, though, like artful dodger. Um, you know, as a complete aside, you in your mind telling yourself, um, hey, go fuck yourself, kid. It reminds me of a story that I know about a very good friend of mine who I don&#39;t think listens to the pod, and he definitely should. He was a Santa Claus, a neighborhood Santa Claus one time on a fire truck. This is a super New York story where our local fire truck, you know, they needed a local volunteer and they needed somebody to dress up as Santa and they would go around the block and they would show up. And he said that it was a raucous affair, and all of this firemen were just like uh they were having a great time and just very, very raucous, right? And they were going back and forth with all of the F-bombs and just like, you know, living their best lives as we&#39;re the heroes who would get to ride in with Santa Claus. And my friend steps out of the cab of the fire truck and he hears a kid go, look at Santa Claus. And the fireman goes, Hey kid, go fuck yourself. As Santa Claus steps out and realized that it&#39;s his child who had just said, Hey, look at Santa Claus. And uh and he said he wasn&#39;t even ho-ho-ho ing at that point, it was just straight on gaffas. So telling kids to go fuck themselves is also hilarious, frankly. SPEAKER_04: 5:21 So yeah, that&#39;s a good story. Gavin: 5:23 So I spent a lot of time. Um, in our last episode, I was telling you about how recently I was a chaperone on a spring break trip. And it was fascinating because, in one regard, I was trying to stay as hands-off with my own kids as possible because part of the trip was the fact that they got to be more independent, right? But it was so fascinating to watch other kids behaving either with their kids or with their parents or without, mostly without. And um, and the level of parenting that I wanted to do that was mainly just me saying, get off my lawn, which was mainly them getting off their phones, and um the rampant use of cell phones, and you just want to be like, kids, come on, you&#39;re sitting next to each other, but you&#39;re on a vacation without your parents and you&#39;re in another state. And oh my gosh, it was another level of um me trying to micromanage absolutely every aspect of my life, including other people&#39;s lives. But I don&#39;t think there&#39;s much to be said there except that phones, man, phones, phones. Have you thought about when you&#39;re gonna let your kids have phones? David: 6:21 Because it&#39;s a thing, dude. You know, last episode you made fun of me for being a boomer for trying to set up our Facebook group. And you just went on an eight-minute rant about kids be looking at their phones. Gavin: 6:33 I mean, it is so frustrating, but uh, but nevertheless, I don&#39;t know. David: 6:39 I I I I&#39;m so far away from that, luckily, which I know will come sooner than I&#39;m than I&#39;m ready for. Um, but I I don&#39;t know. We&#39;ve talked with a lot of guests recently who&#39;ve talked about, you know, I think last week with Nick. Yeah. Where we&#39;re when do you give your kid a phone? How much can you access it? Yeah. Um, so I&#39;m just going to, like most of my health concerns, just ignore them until they become a bigger problem. Gavin: 6:59 Hey, I&#39;ve got some gay news for you, all right? David: 7:01 Ooh. Gavin: 7:02 First of all, do you what does the word bundish dog mean to you? David: 7:05 It sounds like a sex position in Berlin, but I&#39;m actually not sure. Gavin: 7:10 Well, I it is basically a sex position in Berlin. It&#39;s the lower house of government in Germany, like their House of Representatives. And they have recently uh made it, they passed a law recently that makes it easier for people to change their names, their pronouns, and their gender identity. So, like a little good news and being like, hey, you know what, let&#39;s just let people live, right? And um, our guest a couple of weeks ago, Carl with a K, was talking about how the Germans they are just so live and let live. And uh I find it uh it&#39;s a little bit of news from the Bundestag. But meanwhile, news from Florida, Dave. David: 7:45 Oh, I&#39;m sorry. Gavin: 7:46 So as I was going through some news, I the headline was basically Matt Gates uh nude selfies. And I&#39;m like, well, I want to see that because the dude has great hair, and uh I&#39;m kind of curious, right? Well, no, they it was just a teaser because that scumbag is finally probably going to be taken to task for sharing selfies of women that he&#39;s been with, maybe men too, but like sharing the selfies. Like, what a scumbag! And he definitely needs to go down for that. If he&#39;s done it, I mean, you know, innocent till proven guilty. David: 8:18 I guarantee you Matt Gates&#39; dick is medium to small, but with way too much hair. Do you know what I mean? That the cock to hair ratio is off on him. I could smell it a mile away. Gavin: 8:32 Then finally, though, my favorite story of the week is that um there&#39;s a song, a pro-war Russian song, that gay trolls have turned into a gay anthem. Of course we did it. Of course we did it. We&#39;re gonna take it. We&#39;re gonna take this and and double down and make it way better and way gayer and take away your pro-war bullshit. So I think as a play out music, we&#39;ll need to find a way to actually stream that song as a new gay anthem because war sucks and uh Vladimir Putin sucks, but gay anthems rule. David: 9:08 So I I love how gays gays will turn anything into a dance hit. I think that&#39;s so fucking clever. I love that. Uh, you know what isn&#39;t very clever? Gavin: 9:17 What is not very clever, David? David: 9:19 Our top three list. Gay three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Gavin: 9:24 I think this is very clever. I&#39;m excited. Tell us about it, David. David: 9:27 So, our top three lists this week are the top three Kool-Aids that you drink. And by Kool-Aids, I mean, I don&#39;t know, conspiracy theories. Is it goop? Like, what are the things that you&#39;re like, this is stupid, but God, I just can&#39;t help myself. Um, all right, so I&#39;ll start. Uh, number three for me, supplements. I love a protein drink. I love a magnesium pill, I love a vitamin C. I love an emergency. I have we have two baskets in our kitchen full of supplements that I never take. But I can&#39;t help myself. I see a TikTok. But I forgot them. Yeah, I forget, but I&#39;ll see a TikTok that says, if you take magnesium, you&#39;ll lose 20 pounds. And I&#39;m like, boom, I am at CVS immediately. So, number three, supplements. Uh, number two for me, Costco slash buying in bulk. Oh man, do I love a bulk buy? If it&#39;s like you can get a second one for a little bit less, I&#39;m buying 10. I will I our basement, you can&#39;t see this is my quote unquote recording studio, but in the other room is literally just Costco storage. It&#39;s wild. Um number one, the top Kool-Aid that I drink, aliens. Aliens. Gavin: 10:34 That is not Kool-Aid, though. That has got to be true. David: 10:36 Well, do you mean like Well, welcome to the fold, my friend. Gavin: 10:39 Here&#39;s your Kool-Aid because you mean little green men walking around with eyeballs and mouths and all of it. David: 10:44 You know, like Ancient Aliens. Do you know Ancient Aliens? That show is just chaos, and I love it. I fucking love it. So, yep, number one, aliens. What about free? Gavin: 10:54 I want to believe in it too. I want to believe in it too. But here&#39;s the three three things that I believe in um that come to mind. Number three for me, AOC. I want Alexandra. Is she a Kool-Aid? I guess she&#39;s a Kool-Aid, you&#39;re right. She&#39;s a Kool Aid. I have definitely I&#39;ve drunk an awful lot of that Kool-Aid, and I think she&#39;s a badass, and she&#39;s so brave, and I want to believe that she&#39;s the real deal. And so I feel like that&#39;s kind of a Kool-Aid that I have drunk. Yep. Number two, recycling. I am so afraid. I&#39;m so afraid it just goes to a landfill, but I am really devoted to it, really devoted to it. But very good environmental friends of mine, actually, a cousin who&#39;s the smartest person I know, is like, yeah, it doesn&#39;t matter. So and he&#39;s a super environmentalist, and he&#39;s like, Yeah, I just don&#39;t even bother anymore. And I&#39;m like, you don&#39;t bother recycling? God, I hope it&#39;s not a Kool-Aid, but sometimes I wonder, is it a Kool-Aid? Number one for me? Not my kids. David: 11:52 That is perfect number one. Not my kids. I&#39;ll leave it at that. Yeah, you need you don&#39;t need to explain it. That is so fucking good. All right, what do we got next week? Next week, I want to hear about more about you, David. Gavin: 12:05 I want to hear about your three most annoying traits from your husband. David: 12:11 He&#39;s gonna love this question. Our guest this week is a mother of three children, one born through IVF and has been a gestational surrogate for not one, not two, but three families. She&#39;s also the founder of Surro Connections on the men having babies bored and all-around overachiever. Please welcome to the show, Megan Hall Greenberg. Gavin: 12:35 Hi, Megan. Thank you for making us feel like lazy shits, Megan. SPEAKER_03: 12:40 Well, I don&#39;t know about overachiever right now. I&#39;m that tired mom business owner. That&#39;s my look lately. David: 12:46 So But that&#39;s what I mean is like that you you not only founded Sorrow Connections, which is one of the biggest agencies in the country, but also you&#39;re on all these boards, you have children, you&#39;re doing surrogacy. Like, what what the fuck? What like and a husband. SPEAKER_03: 13:02 So I think does that count as a fourth child? Oh, yes. David: 13:05 No, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a second full-time job for sure. SPEAKER_03: 13:07 Okay, well, well, there you go. I just got my hair colored a couple days ago because it was almost gray, and I was like, that&#39;s enough. I&#39;m that&#39;s ready to go to Berlin. Can&#39;t look like this. Gavin: 13:18 This is gonna keep me fueled, is my uh my my totally natural meant-to-be hair color. So, what does fuel you though? I mean, you uh you live a life of passion. What does fuel you? SPEAKER_03: 13:32 Right. Well, I actually own a couple of businesses, and then my husband has a business, so we&#39;re like really spread thin on top of kids and life, and you know, actually. David: 13:42 I bet tax time is chaos at your house. SPEAKER_03: 13:44 I just keep handing it over to the CPA. It&#39;s it&#39;s just crazy chaos all the time. And now we go into speaking season, and my kids compete in this their world championship cheerleading things. So I&#39;m and then I have to go to Berlin for 48 hours. So the next few weeks are gonna be a little bit crazier than usual, and I&#39;m excited, but I&#39;m gonna be tired. Gavin: 14:09 But I imagine these are all things that you choose to do because they make your life full. SPEAKER_03: 14:17 For sure. I think there&#39;s a balance though, right? So sometimes I don&#39;t choose to get calls in the middle of the night, or I don&#39;t choose to deal with really angry, frustrated, sad intended parents, or angry surrogates, or hormonal surrogates, or a staff issue. Like there&#39;s lots of facets that you have. And, you know, under my purview, if you think about it between, you know, my husband&#39;s shop and my other business and surrogates and intended parents, that&#39;s like maybe four or five hundred people at a time kind of relying on me to answer my phone and text messages at all hours of the...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we dive deep into David&apos;s annoyance over OPK&apos;s, as well as OKP&apos;s, we rank the top three Kool Aid&apos;s we drink, and we are joined by Surrogacy hall of famer Megan Hall-Greenberg who tells us how she runs 3,106 businesses while]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we dive deep into David&apos;s annoyance over OPK&apos;s, as well as OKP&apos;s, we rank the top three Kool Aid&apos;s we drink, and we are joined by Surrogacy hall of famer Megan Hall-Greenberg who tells us how she runs 3,106 businesses while also being a Mom, as well as how her last surrogacy journey was one in a million. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 There you are. You&#39;re back. David: 0:01 Did I did I go away? Oh, I said a really funny joke, too. Um I promised you. You&#39;ll just have to believe me. Um and this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I went to the park with friends of the show, Rob and Carl and their son. Oh yeah. Um, and we were having fun, and I was reminded of something that I want to double down on. Gavin: 0:34 Okay. David: 0:35 I don&#39;t like OPKs. We&#39;ve talked about this, right? I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids. I don&#39;t care how cute they are. I don&#39;t care what they&#39;re doing. They annoy me by just existing. Okay. I&#39;m not, that doesn&#39;t include like people I love. Um, but I, you know, people kids should exist. But what I learned this weekend at the park was I also hate OKPs. I hate other kids&#39; parents more than other people&#39;s kids. Because I was at the park and we were, you know, every we had our bags or whatever, and I&#39;m sitting there having a snack with my daughter, and she&#39;s eating goldfish out of a bag. And this girl walks up and she goes, I want some. And I said, Oh she was like eight, seven, older. I said, Oh, well, then you should ask your parents to get you some. Like, I was being shady already. Yeah, you were. She was like, Well, look right there. I said, Yeah, she&#39;s eating her goldfish. She&#39;s like, Do you have any more? I&#39;m like, Am I being asked for a dollar by a homeless person in Manhattan? What is happening? And I said, No, that&#39;s all I have. And then she goes, Well, can I have the rest of hers? Bitch, no, you can&#39;t. You can&#39;t. And in fact, you can go fuck yourself because what are we doing here? And also, where are your parents? And what is going on? And so this girl&#39;s parent comes over and she&#39;s like, Oh, is she bothering you? And of course, I&#39;m like, no, she&#39;s just fish. And then she starts, and then in front of her parent, she starts going through our bags. Wow. And I look at the parent kind of being like, because I&#39;m not gonna go, hey, bitch, get your hands out of my bags, but I&#39;m also looking at the parent because like if that was my kid, my kids deal shit all the time. I&#39;m like, hey, like, honey, this is not Iris or whatever. She just stands there and watches her daughter pick through this bag. And I&#39;m like, what is happening here? What is happening here? So I was like, hey, can I get you something? Anyway, I like led our way out of it, but I I&#39;m just doubling down. I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids and I don&#39;t like other kids&#39; parents. So basically, everybody who exists in the world, get the fuck away from me. Gavin: 2:48 Yeah, you&#39;re I mean, you are so many levels of cranky t-shirts with cats on it that say, I&#39;m not a morning person and today&#39;s not your day, or you know, some shit like that about like basically I only like two things in the world, myself and my cat, kind of thing. I mean, you are several levels of get off my lawn right here. But you are so right. And it&#39;s never all ultimately the kids that we don&#39;t like, which is of course all of the others, uh-huh, it&#39;s not their fault that they&#39;re assholes. It&#39;s absolutely the parents&#39; fault. David: 3:19 Well, usually. I mean, my kid steals now. Did I tell you this? He&#39;s stealing now. Okay. He&#39;s like stealing, he&#39;s like stealing my teacher&#39;s like or his teacher&#39;s stuff. He at swim class, I saw him grab the bracelet of his swim teacher and put it in his hands. I&#39;m my kid is actively committing. He&#39;s a kleptomaniac. He&#39;s actively committing crimes. But the second I see it, I&#39;m like running down there, I&#39;m like, this is not what we do, right? So maybe it&#39;s the kids, maybe it&#39;s the parents, but it doesn&#39;t matter. I want to do that. Gavin: 3:47 Well, you said you made however, you made your kid stop and you are teaching him that he cannot do this. He cannot rifle through somebody else&#39;s bag and he&#39;s in front of them. David: 3:57 But they said you can&#39;t have any more goldfish. Gavin: 3:59 He cannot steal jewelry off of somebody&#39;s wrists. That&#39;s that is some Oliver level shit right there, though, like artful dodger. Um, you know, as a complete aside, you in your mind telling yourself, um, hey, go fuck yourself, kid. It reminds me of a story that I know about a very good friend of mine who I don&#39;t think listens to the pod, and he definitely should. He was a Santa Claus, a neighborhood Santa Claus one time on a fire truck. This is a super New York story where our local fire truck, you know, they needed a local volunteer and they needed somebody to dress up as Santa and they would go around the block and they would show up. And he said that it was a raucous affair, and all of this firemen were just like uh they were having a great time and just very, very raucous, right? And they were going back and forth with all of the F-bombs and just like, you know, living their best lives as we&#39;re the heroes who would get to ride in with Santa Claus. And my friend steps out of the cab of the fire truck and he hears a kid go, look at Santa Claus. And the fireman goes, Hey kid, go fuck yourself. As Santa Claus steps out and realized that it&#39;s his child who had just said, Hey, look at Santa Claus. And uh and he said he wasn&#39;t even ho-ho-ho ing at that point, it was just straight on gaffas. So telling kids to go fuck themselves is also hilarious, frankly. SPEAKER_04: 5:21 So yeah, that&#39;s a good story. Gavin: 5:23 So I spent a lot of time. Um, in our last episode, I was telling you about how recently I was a chaperone on a spring break trip. And it was fascinating because, in one regard, I was trying to stay as hands-off with my own kids as possible because part of the trip was the fact that they got to be more independent, right? But it was so fascinating to watch other kids behaving either with their kids or with their parents or without, mostly without. And um, and the level of parenting that I wanted to do that was mainly just me saying, get off my lawn, which was mainly them getting off their phones, and um the rampant use of cell phones, and you just want to be like, kids, come on, you&#39;re sitting next to each other, but you&#39;re on a vacation without your parents and you&#39;re in another state. And oh my gosh, it was another level of um me trying to micromanage absolutely every aspect of my life, including other people&#39;s lives. But I don&#39;t think there&#39;s much to be said there except that phones, man, phones, phones. Have you thought about when you&#39;re gonna let your kids have phones? David: 6:21 Because it&#39;s a thing, dude. You know, last episode you made fun of me for being a boomer for trying to set up our Facebook group. And you just went on an eight-minute rant about kids be looking at their phones. Gavin: 6:33 I mean, it is so frustrating, but uh, but nevertheless, I don&#39;t know. David: 6:39 I I I I&#39;m so far away from that, luckily, which I know will come sooner than I&#39;m than I&#39;m ready for. Um, but I I don&#39;t know. We&#39;ve talked with a lot of guests recently who&#39;ve talked about, you know, I think last week with Nick. Yeah. Where we&#39;re when do you give your kid a phone? How much can you access it? Yeah. Um, so I&#39;m just going to, like most of my health concerns, just ignore them until they become a bigger problem. Gavin: 6:59 Hey, I&#39;ve got some gay news for you, all right? David: 7:01 Ooh. Gavin: 7:02 First of all, do you what does the word bundish dog mean to you? David: 7:05 It sounds like a sex position in Berlin, but I&#39;m actually not sure. Gavin: 7:10 Well, I it is basically a sex position in Berlin. It&#39;s the lower house of government in Germany, like their House of Representatives. And they have recently uh made it, they passed a law recently that makes it easier for people to change their names, their pronouns, and their gender identity. So, like a little good news and being like, hey, you know what, let&#39;s just let people live, right? And um, our guest a couple of weeks ago, Carl with a K, was talking about how the Germans they are just so live and let live. And uh I find it uh it&#39;s a little bit of news from the Bundestag. But meanwhile, news from Florida, Dave. David: 7:45 Oh, I&#39;m sorry. Gavin: 7:46 So as I was going through some news, I the headline was basically Matt Gates uh nude selfies. And I&#39;m like, well, I want to see that because the dude has great hair, and uh I&#39;m kind of curious, right? Well, no, they it was just a teaser because that scumbag is finally probably going to be taken to task for sharing selfies of women that he&#39;s been with, maybe men too, but like sharing the selfies. Like, what a scumbag! And he definitely needs to go down for that. If he&#39;s done it, I mean, you know, innocent till proven guilty. David: 8:18 I guarantee you Matt Gates&#39; dick is medium to small, but with way too much hair. Do you know what I mean? That the cock to hair ratio is off on him. I could smell it a mile away. Gavin: 8:32 Then finally, though, my favorite story of the week is that um there&#39;s a song, a pro-war Russian song, that gay trolls have turned into a gay anthem. Of course we did it. Of course we did it. We&#39;re gonna take it. We&#39;re gonna take this and and double down and make it way better and way gayer and take away your pro-war bullshit. So I think as a play out music, we&#39;ll need to find a way to actually stream that song as a new gay anthem because war sucks and uh Vladimir Putin sucks, but gay anthems rule. David: 9:08 So I I love how gays gays will turn anything into a dance hit. I think that&#39;s so fucking clever. I love that. Uh, you know what isn&#39;t very clever? Gavin: 9:17 What is not very clever, David? David: 9:19 Our top three list. Gay three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Gavin: 9:24 I think this is very clever. I&#39;m excited. Tell us about it, David. David: 9:27 So, our top three lists this week are the top three Kool-Aids that you drink. And by Kool-Aids, I mean, I don&#39;t know, conspiracy theories. Is it goop? Like, what are the things that you&#39;re like, this is stupid, but God, I just can&#39;t help myself. Um, all right, so I&#39;ll start. Uh, number three for me, supplements. I love a protein drink. I love a magnesium pill, I love a vitamin C. I love an emergency. I have we have two baskets in our kitchen full of supplements that I never take. But I can&#39;t help myself. I see a TikTok. But I forgot them. Yeah, I forget, but I&#39;ll see a TikTok that says, if you take magnesium, you&#39;ll lose 20 pounds. And I&#39;m like, boom, I am at CVS immediately. So, number three, supplements. Uh, number two for me, Costco slash buying in bulk. Oh man, do I love a bulk buy? If it&#39;s like you can get a second one for a little bit less, I&#39;m buying 10. I will I our basement, you can&#39;t see this is my quote unquote recording studio, but in the other room is literally just Costco storage. It&#39;s wild. Um number one, the top Kool-Aid that I drink, aliens. Aliens. Gavin: 10:34 That is not Kool-Aid, though. That has got to be true. David: 10:36 Well, do you mean like Well, welcome to the fold, my friend. Gavin: 10:39 Here&#39;s your Kool-Aid because you mean little green men walking around with eyeballs and mouths and all of it. David: 10:44 You know, like Ancient Aliens. Do you know Ancient Aliens? That show is just chaos, and I love it. I fucking love it. So, yep, number one, aliens. What about free? Gavin: 10:54 I want to believe in it too. I want to believe in it too. But here&#39;s the three three things that I believe in um that come to mind. Number three for me, AOC. I want Alexandra. Is she a Kool-Aid? I guess she&#39;s a Kool-Aid, you&#39;re right. She&#39;s a Kool Aid. I have definitely I&#39;ve drunk an awful lot of that Kool-Aid, and I think she&#39;s a badass, and she&#39;s so brave, and I want to believe that she&#39;s the real deal. And so I feel like that&#39;s kind of a Kool-Aid that I have drunk. Yep. Number two, recycling. I am so afraid. I&#39;m so afraid it just goes to a landfill, but I am really devoted to it, really devoted to it. But very good environmental friends of mine, actually, a cousin who&#39;s the smartest person I know, is like, yeah, it doesn&#39;t matter. So and he&#39;s a super environmentalist, and he&#39;s like, Yeah, I just don&#39;t even bother anymore. And I&#39;m like, you don&#39;t bother recycling? God, I hope it&#39;s not a Kool-Aid, but sometimes I wonder, is it a Kool-Aid? Number one for me? Not my kids. David: 11:52 That is perfect number one. Not my kids. I&#39;ll leave it at that. Yeah, you need you don&#39;t need to explain it. That is so fucking good. All right, what do we got next week? Next week, I want to hear about more about you, David. Gavin: 12:05 I want to hear about your three most annoying traits from your husband. David: 12:11 He&#39;s gonna love this question. Our guest this week is a mother of three children, one born through IVF and has been a gestational surrogate for not one, not two, but three families. She&#39;s also the founder of Surro Connections on the men having babies bored and all-around overachiever. Please welcome to the show, Megan Hall Greenberg. Gavin: 12:35 Hi, Megan. Thank you for making us feel like lazy shits, Megan. SPEAKER_03: 12:40 Well, I don&#39;t know about overachiever right now. I&#39;m that tired mom business owner. That&#39;s my look lately. David: 12:46 So But that&#39;s what I mean is like that you you not only founded Sorrow Connections, which is one of the biggest agencies in the country, but also you&#39;re on all these boards, you have children, you&#39;re doing surrogacy. Like, what what the fuck? What like and a husband. SPEAKER_03: 13:02 So I think does that count as a fourth child? Oh, yes. David: 13:05 No, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a second full-time job for sure. SPEAKER_03: 13:07 Okay, well, well, there you go. I just got my hair colored a couple days ago because it was almost gray, and I was like, that&#39;s enough. I&#39;m that&#39;s ready to go to Berlin. Can&#39;t look like this. Gavin: 13:18 This is gonna keep me fueled, is my uh my my totally natural meant-to-be hair color. So, what does fuel you though? I mean, you uh you live a life of passion. What does fuel you? SPEAKER_03: 13:32 Right. Well, I actually own a couple of businesses, and then my husband has a business, so we&#39;re like really spread thin on top of kids and life, and you know, actually. David: 13:42 I bet tax time is chaos at your house. SPEAKER_03: 13:44 I just keep handing it over to the CPA. It&#39;s it&#39;s just crazy chaos all the time. And now we go into speaking season, and my kids compete in this their world championship cheerleading things. So I&#39;m and then I have to go to Berlin for 48 hours. So the next few weeks are gonna be a little bit crazier than usual, and I&#39;m excited, but I&#39;m gonna be tired. Gavin: 14:09 But I imagine these are all things that you choose to do because they make your life full. SPEAKER_03: 14:17 For sure. I think there&#39;s a balance though, right? So sometimes I don&#39;t choose to get calls in the middle of the night, or I don&#39;t choose to deal with really angry, frustrated, sad intended parents, or angry surrogates, or hormonal surrogates, or a staff issue. Like there&#39;s lots of facets that you have. And, you know, under my purview, if you think about it between, you know, my husband&#39;s shop and my other business and surrogates and intended parents, that&#39;s like maybe four or five hundred people at a time kind of relying on me to answer my phone and text messages at all hours of the...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we dive deep into David&apos;s annoyance over OPK&apos;s, as well as OKP&apos;s, we rank the top three Kool Aid&apos;s we drink, and we are joined by Surrogacy hall of famer Megan Hall-Greenberg who tells us how she runs 3,106 businesses while also being a Mom, as well as how her last surrogacy journey was one in a million. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 There you are. You&#39;re back. David: 0:01 Did I did I go away? Oh, I said a really funny joke, too. Um I promised you. You&#39;ll just have to believe me. Um and this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I went to the park with friends of the show, Rob and Carl and their son. Oh yeah. Um, and we were having fun, and I was reminded of something that I want to double down on. Gavin: 0:34 Okay. David: 0:35 I don&#39;t like OPKs. We&#39;ve talked about this, right? I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids. I don&#39;t care how cute they are. I don&#39;t care what they&#39;re doing. They annoy me by just existing. Okay. I&#39;m not, that doesn&#39;t include like people I love. Um, but I, you know, people kids should exist. But what I learned this weekend at the park was I also hate OKPs. I hate other kids&#39; parents more than other people&#39;s kids. Because I was at the park and we were, you know, every we had our bags or whatever, and I&#39;m sitting there having a snack with my daughter, and she&#39;s eating goldfish out of a bag. And this girl walks up and she goes, I want some. And I said, Oh she was like eight, seven, older. I said, Oh, well, then you should ask your parents to get you some. Like, I was being shady already. Yeah, you were. She was like, Well, look right there. I said, Yeah, she&#39;s eating her goldfish. She&#39;s like, Do you have any more? I&#39;m like, Am I being asked for a dollar by a homeless person in Manhattan? What is happening? And I said, No, that&#39;s all I have. And then she goes, Well, can I have the rest of hers? Bitch, no, you can&#39;t. You can&#39;t. And in fact, you can go fuck yourself because what are we doing here? And also, where are your parents? And what is going on? And so this girl&#39;s parent comes over and she&#39;s like, Oh, is she bothering you? And of course, I&#39;m like, no, she&#39;s just fish. And then she starts, and then in front of her parent, she starts going through our bags. Wow. And I look at the parent kind of being like, because I&#39;m not gonna go, hey, bitch, get your hands out of my bags, but I&#39;m also looking at the parent because like if that was my kid, my kids deal shit all the time. I&#39;m like, hey, like, honey, this is not Iris or whatever. She just stands there and watches her daughter pick through this bag. And I&#39;m like, what is happening here? What is happening here? So I was like, hey, can I get you something? Anyway, I like led our way out of it, but I I&#39;m just doubling down. I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids and I don&#39;t like other kids&#39; parents. So basically, everybody who exists in the world, get the fuck away from me. Gavin: 2:48 Yeah, you&#39;re I mean, you are so many levels of cranky t-shirts with cats on it that say, I&#39;m not a morning person and today&#39;s not your day, or you know, some shit like that about like basically I only like two things in the world, myself and my cat, kind of thing. I mean, you are several levels of get off my lawn right here. But you are so right. And it&#39;s never all ultimately the kids that we don&#39;t like, which is of course all of the others, uh-huh, it&#39;s not their fault that they&#39;re assholes. It&#39;s absolutely the parents&#39; fault. David: 3:19 Well, usually. I mean, my kid steals now. Did I tell you this? He&#39;s stealing now. Okay. He&#39;s like stealing, he&#39;s like stealing my teacher&#39;s like or his teacher&#39;s stuff. He at swim class, I saw him grab the bracelet of his swi]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we dive deep into David&apos;s annoyance over OPK&apos;s, as well as OKP&apos;s, we rank the top three Kool Aid&apos;s we drink, and we are joined by Surrogacy hall of famer Megan Hall-Greenberg who tells us how she runs 3,106 businesses while also being a Mom, as well as how her last surrogacy journey was one in a million. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 There you are. You&#39;re back. David: 0:01 Did I did I go away? Oh, I said a really funny joke, too. Um I promised you. You&#39;ll just have to believe me. Um and this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I went to the park with friends of the show, Rob and Carl and their son. Oh yeah. Um, and we were having fun, and I was reminded of something that I want to double down on. Gavin: 0:34 Okay. David: 0:35 I don&#39;t like OPKs. We&#39;ve talked about this, right? I don&#39;t like other people&#39;s kids. I don&#3]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with trans Dads Brett &#038; Wyatt</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-trans-dads-brett-wyatt/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Y&apos;all we are SHOOK this week, also David goes to a waterpark with his kids, we discuss the top 3 worst sayings, and this week trans Dads Brett &#38; Wyatt join our chicken coop to talk about their life in Canada, what the adoption process was like for them as trans people, and why they ran down their street screaming and holding a bloody baby when it wasn&apos;t even Halloween Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast . 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 But it just feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m being academic. Uh let&#39;s just give it a try and maybe we&#39;ll put it in somewhere else, okay? Hey. Unre and this is paid Gatriarchs. David: 0:12 This is what now? I almost said you try you try to get there too fast. You gotta let you gotta let the Gatriarchs tag just sit there. And then you&#39;ve got to reach out and grab it, and you gotta say You gotta tickle it a little bit. Oh, see? God, wow. This is this is not this is maybe. I was just gonna riff with you. Maybe podcasting is not for you, Gavin. I know, I know. And this is Gatriarchs. Gotcha, bitch. Oh my god. We just had an earthquake. And I noticed I know, I know this is news three weeks ago, guys, but like Gavin and I were literally just about to record. We were both on Riverside, and all of a sudden I went, What is that? And Gavin looked at me weird and I threw my headphones on. I run upstairs and I&#39;m like, what the fuck is going on? I had this conversation with my husband. We realized there&#39;s been an earthquake. I come downstairs and Gavin&#39;s like, I felt it too. Gavin: 1:15 Well, you yes, you had abandoned me. I abandoned. So I was just sitting here and then I&#39;m like, wait a minute, why is somebody shaking my wall? What? And then it kept going, and then it kept going. And then I heard you yelling from the other room, let me see if Gavin felt it too. David: 1:32 And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I did. Crazy. I did. Yeah. We don&#39;t have that shit here. We we uh we just we don&#39;t allow those things in these parts. But guess what? It happened, and it was really fucking weird. But anyway, the people on the uh west coast are like fuck you guys, we get earthquakes every eight minutes. But for us, we&#39;re not used to it. And it was exciting, the whole ground was shaking like a real earthquake. Gavin: 1:53 Anyway, I&#39;ve had people texting from all over the country, and you know, I mean, we we will rebuild. We will rebuild here. Uh, but it was um it was really exciting. I have never in my life felt an earthquake. David: 2:07 We popped your earthquake cherry. That&#39;s nice. Um so I want to talk a little bit about an event I went to this weekend. Not an event. We I took my kids to the water park. Now, let&#39;s talk about it, first of all, because I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Gavin: 2:22 And I want to talk about what it is still April. It&#39;s not like we recorded this in August. What water park is open? David: 2:29 So I live near uh the world&#39;s largest indoor water park. It&#39;s called the American Dream Mall. So it&#39;s all indoors. It&#39;s in the middle of the winter, it&#39;s still like 100 degrees in there. It&#39;s amazing. Yeah. Anyway. Wow. I I have a I have an issue with water park people. Now, this is not a new take. Everyone has heard this take before. But why are theme park people and water park people the worst people on the planet? We come to this, so we come to this water park and it is packed. Whatever. It&#39;s packed. And there are no chairs anywhere. You have to just like everyone&#39;s shit is all over their chairs. Yeah. So we we come across way in the back corner, these like three chairs in a row that have no stuff on them. And we&#39;re like, great, this is we&#39;ll park our stuff. We park our stuff, we go in the wave pool. We&#39;re in the wave pool. We come back a couple times, do snacks. We go back in the wave pool. We come back, and a woman has moved all of our stuff and thrown it on the ground next to this chair. And she&#39;s sitting there with this fucking look on her face. Like, wow. She&#39;s like, I dare you to come for me. And I&#39;m holding my two-year-old daughter, and I go, excuse me, did you throw our stuff on the ground? And she comes at me with a force of a thousand megatons. She&#39;s like, Okay, you, I was here first. You threw my shit down. And she&#39;s like screaming at me as I&#39;m holding my two-year-old daughter. And now this is where like two roads diverge in a yellow wood. I was like, all I want to do is throw down with this girl. I want to match her energy, her maturity level. But I have a two-year-old girl in my hand. And I&#39;m like, I I I A, I don&#39;t, you don&#39;t win fights with these kind of people, right? Like, this is not a like, she&#39;s made the decision that I moved her stuff or whatever. But I so I was like, you know what? Here&#39;s maybe here&#39;s what happened. Before I came here, somebody moved your stuff, and I all I saw was blank chairs, but my stuff was. But what I wanted to say was like, babe, we&#39;ve been here for 45 minutes. I promise you, this is not true, and you&#39;ve maybe you you&#39;re you&#39;re misled. But it was crazy. I had this woman like screaming at me, and I had this two-year-old girl in my hand who&#39;s kind of watching us, like, what is going on? All I wanted to do was get arrested, but I did not. But on the way in, I have this like moment of fake outrage because I walk in and there&#39;s like women&#39;s room, and then I walk a little bit, and then it says family changing room. And then I know I can kind of see further down, it&#39;s like men&#39;s room. And I was like, Oh, I was like saying my husband, I was like, we should go in the family changing room. And we take one step in and it says women with children only. Gavin: 4:59 Oh wait, and it&#39;s a private, a private stall room, or what it&#39;s like a changing room, but it&#39;s like women with children. David: 5:07 It&#39;s like family room, and then somebody&#39;s like taped a sign, women with children only. And so, of course, Brian and I are both like, oh, fuck this place, and we&#39;re gonna do this with this. And then you&#39;re gonna write a letter, and then on our way out, we&#39;re walking out, and we happen to miss the other changing room that&#39;s family changing room, men with children only. And I was like, God damn it. Gavin: 5:27 We had footprint- Oh, the world is a better place. David: 5:29 We had foot fake outrage. But anyway, I will say it was surprisingly a really great trip. My son got on the yellow slide, which if you don&#39;t know what the yellow slide is, the yellow slide is like the medium big kids slide where it&#39;s like six to eight-year-olds ride it and he&#39;s only four, but they let him do it because he&#39;s tall enough. And he was like, I don&#39;t want to go by myself. I was like, Well, they won&#39;t let me go on. And he would, you could see him just trying to decide if he was gonna bail or not. And he went, I&#39;m gonna do it. And he just sat down and he just like shot off. And I, like, my heart leapt out of my chest because I was like, he&#39;s gonna go around the twisties. I can&#39;t see him. He&#39;s just I&#39;m just gonna have to meet him on the bottom. And it was one of these moments where I was like pushing the baby out of the nest. It was kind of sad in a weird way, but I was very proud of him. Gavin: 6:08 But I&#39;m proud of you both for getting through that. And uh, and it is a big deal to watch your kid suddenly disappear down a slide. I too have had a few water park experiences, although in retrospect, not as many as even I would like to. I mean, water parks are like amusement parks. You think, oh god, it&#39;s just gonna be so expensive and so full of obnoxious people, and I&#39;m gonna hate every second of it. But wow, I can&#39;t, I know how to be Eeyore, don&#39;t I? But ultimately, they&#39;re so fun. And you look back on it and you&#39;re like, you only remember the good times. And um, I definitely, my kids being a little older, we have done those, I don&#39;t know how to describe them, but they&#39;re like a hundred-foot drop, vertical drop. You get, you know, sealed in a bullet and it you get, you know, and you just drop. And I watched my little kid, gosh, he was maybe five or six at the time. He looked just so minuscule. And I watched him disappear, and I thought, oh, I&#39;m gonna be arrested now. I should not have done that. I should not have done that. Um, and lo and behold, the only thing lost in that episode was when I went down and I lost my credit card because it was in my pocket and I never found it again. But but they still found ways to get money out of me, that&#39;s for sure. But water parks are kind of the best. David: 7:24 They are the best, but we I really made uh I had such a great time, and it was mostly because I was like, I&#39;m just gonna enjoy my kids and the way pool. I&#39;m not gonna like stress out about the people, I&#39;m not gonna stress about this woman in fucking champion underwear yelling at me. And then also, I&#39;m not gonna stress about like OPKs, which we talk about all the time, other people&#39;s kids who I hate. I hate other people&#39;s kids. All of them. OPKs We had we had we had a really great time, I will say. And it was like one of those, and it was it was just one of those great experiences where, like, surprisingly, nobody shit in the water, nobody hit their head, nobody did any of that stuff. It was just other than this woman screaming at me, um, it was it was a lovely time. Gavin: 8:04 Um, related to water parks, but not at all, except it was a bar. I was hanging out with some friends the other night, and we were talking about the podcast. And it reminded me how we might I remind our listeners have been doing this for over a year now. What is this? Episode 60? 60. 60, yeah. Which I&#39;m proud as fuck is us of us, you know? Yeah. And we have made a real concerted effort recently to be diving into finding new guests because, frankly, I&#39;ll put it out there in the world, it&#39;s getting harder. And part of me thinks there should be millions of parents out there who can speak eloquently or at least comedically, yeah, about being a gay triarch, whatever that you, and being a parent, right? But it&#39;s hard. And I was talking to these guys the other night, telling them about the podcast, and they&#39;re like, you know, you just need to have some people from TikTok on. And I&#39;m like, yeah, I&#39;ve I&#39;ve heard that before. But I started to say to them, you know, it&#39;s kind of surprising how few of us there are, because in reality, there&#39;s not that many queer parents out there. We just take up, you know, 49% of the airwaves in the news of the histrionics of people thinking, oh God, we&#39;re going to hell in a handbasket, because all these people are gay and all these kids are turning gay, and all these gay parents. Really, there&#39;s not that many, right? Did you know? So I&#39;m here to bring some stats and some reality to us, all right? So try not to fall asleep. It&#39;s interesting. Did you know what would you say is the percent of US adults who identify as gay? David: 9:47 Are we talking about queer in general, like all the things, or just I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 9:50 The website that I was looking at a few seconds ago. David: 9:52 It doesn&#39;t matter. Um, I&#39;m gonna I&#39;m gonna guess 13%. Gavin: 9:57 5.5%. SPEAKER_04: 9:58 Okay. Gavin: 9:59 Which is then, you translate that into real numbers because there&#39;s a lot of people in this country, 13.9 million. David: 10:05 But if you if you actually if you asked that same question to people under the age of 20, I guarantee you would be 30 percent. Oh, I agree. Gavin: 10:12 I agree with you. And these stats are from 2019, which isn&#39;t really that long ago. Although, as we know, gay conversion took place greatly during the pandemic, obviously, because it was um just RuPaul&#39;s. If you&#39;re bored, just be gay. That&#39;s really what yeah, yeah. Exactly. Um, 36% of uh gay people live in the South. That&#39;s five million. Fourteen point three percent of people in Washington, DC identify as queer. Wow. I think that&#39;s somehow hilarious. Insert political joke here. Uh 1.5 million queer people in California. Um amongst young adults ages 18 to 24, that percentage is 15.2 percent. Although I would agree that it&#39;s probably higher now than it was just a few years ago. SPEAKER_04: 10:58 Yeah. Gavin: 10:58 And uh that translates to 4.7 million people ages 18 to 24. Um, which 4.7 million sounds like a lot, but when you put the percentage in, you&#39;re like, okay, it&#39;s not that many. Now, as for couples, there are 357,000 people who are married, gay people who are married, or 705,000 same-sex couples, you know, married or otherwise. Uh, of those, 114,000 are actually raising kids. That&#39;s so like what 25, 30 percent? That&#39;s uh quite a bit. Of of all of the gay people. Of the couples. Yeah, of the couples. Of the people who are coupled, yes, that&#39;s a fairly high percentage, but of the gays in general, not that many. But 24% of all of the gay couples are female parents. Eight percent of all of the gay couples are male parents. David: 11:54 I&#39;m missing some numbers. Gavin: 11:55 There&#39;s because there are many, many um gay couples, many of them married, not necessarily having kids. So, of all of those couples, there&#39;s 24% of those gay couples are lesbian parents, uh-huh, and eight percent of those all those queer couples are gay men raising kids. David: 12:14 So, what happens with the other 48% of kids. They&#39;re married or they&#39;re coupled, but they don&#39;t have kids. Got it. Okay, got it. Oh, I love it when I feel smarter. And then um, and then uh That&#39;s okay, it&#39;s just you and I talking right now. All of our listeners have deleted this episode at this point. Gavin: 12:31 Yeah, well, anyway, it just brings us down to like we we do have this kind of interestingly existential problem because even though those are big ass numbers, still we&#39;re looking for people all the time. And um, and it seems like there are so many of us because you hear about us all the time in the news, but it&#39;s really not that many. David: 12:49 So and if anybody out there is having trouble sleeping tonight, just play this episode back a couple of times, and I think you&#39;ll go you&#39;ll go right to sleep. Gavin: 12:57 I think those numbers are interesting. David: 12:59 I like it&#39;s it&#39;s super interesting. But you know what&#39;s not. Don&#39;t play Kate. You know what&#39;s really interesting? Tell me our top three list. Gate three marks, top three list, three, two, one. So, our top three list this week is our top three least favorite sayings. Uh, and this is my list, so I will go first. Bring it. Uh number three for me, when somebody says, you know, I give 110%. Let&#39;s talk about fractions, people, and percentages. This is a math episode after all. There is nothing more than 100%. If you can&#39;t eat more than 100% of a pie. So if you give 110%, I worry for you. So number three, I give 110%. Number two, that&#39;s what it&#39;s all about. Because I hear that&#39;s what it&#39;s all about about a lot of things. So, what is it actually all about? Right? And number one, this thing makes me makes me want to jump off my roof. Everything happens for a reason. A, no, it doesn&#39;t. B, of course it does, because everything happens after something else. But there, but the idea that, like, no, yeah, you got into that car accident because the guy at Denny sneezed a little bit. Like, no, no, it didn&#39;t. Stop it. Everything does not happen for a reason. And also, yes, everything happens for a reason. Okay, what about you? Gavin: 14:19 So, for my top three list that I of the my least...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Y&apos;all we are SHOOK this week, also David goes to a waterpark with his kids, we discuss the top 3 worst sayings, and this week trans Dads Brett &#38; Wyatt join our chicken coop to talk about their life in Canada, what the adoption process was like f]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Y&apos;all we are SHOOK this week, also David goes to a waterpark with his kids, we discuss the top 3 worst sayings, and this week trans Dads Brett &#38; Wyatt join our chicken coop to talk about their life in Canada, what the adoption process was like for them as trans people, and why they ran down their street screaming and holding a bloody baby when it wasn&apos;t even Halloween Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast . 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 But it just feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m being academic. Uh let&#39;s just give it a try and maybe we&#39;ll put it in somewhere else, okay? Hey. Unre and this is paid Gatriarchs. David: 0:12 This is what now? I almost said you try you try to get there too fast. You gotta let you gotta let the Gatriarchs tag just sit there. And then you&#39;ve got to reach out and grab it, and you gotta say You gotta tickle it a little bit. Oh, see? God, wow. This is this is not this is maybe. I was just gonna riff with you. Maybe podcasting is not for you, Gavin. I know, I know. And this is Gatriarchs. Gotcha, bitch. Oh my god. We just had an earthquake. And I noticed I know, I know this is news three weeks ago, guys, but like Gavin and I were literally just about to record. We were both on Riverside, and all of a sudden I went, What is that? And Gavin looked at me weird and I threw my headphones on. I run upstairs and I&#39;m like, what the fuck is going on? I had this conversation with my husband. We realized there&#39;s been an earthquake. I come downstairs and Gavin&#39;s like, I felt it too. Gavin: 1:15 Well, you yes, you had abandoned me. I abandoned. So I was just sitting here and then I&#39;m like, wait a minute, why is somebody shaking my wall? What? And then it kept going, and then it kept going. And then I heard you yelling from the other room, let me see if Gavin felt it too. David: 1:32 And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I did. Crazy. I did. Yeah. We don&#39;t have that shit here. We we uh we just we don&#39;t allow those things in these parts. But guess what? It happened, and it was really fucking weird. But anyway, the people on the uh west coast are like fuck you guys, we get earthquakes every eight minutes. But for us, we&#39;re not used to it. And it was exciting, the whole ground was shaking like a real earthquake. Gavin: 1:53 Anyway, I&#39;ve had people texting from all over the country, and you know, I mean, we we will rebuild. We will rebuild here. Uh, but it was um it was really exciting. I have never in my life felt an earthquake. David: 2:07 We popped your earthquake cherry. That&#39;s nice. Um so I want to talk a little bit about an event I went to this weekend. Not an event. We I took my kids to the water park. Now, let&#39;s talk about it, first of all, because I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Gavin: 2:22 And I want to talk about what it is still April. It&#39;s not like we recorded this in August. What water park is open? David: 2:29 So I live near uh the world&#39;s largest indoor water park. It&#39;s called the American Dream Mall. So it&#39;s all indoors. It&#39;s in the middle of the winter, it&#39;s still like 100 degrees in there. It&#39;s amazing. Yeah. Anyway. Wow. I I have a I have an issue with water park people. Now, this is not a new take. Everyone has heard this take before. But why are theme park people and water park people the worst people on the planet? We come to this, so we come to this water park and it is packed. Whatever. It&#39;s packed. And there are no chairs anywhere. You have to just like everyone&#39;s shit is all over their chairs. Yeah. So we we come across way in the back corner, these like three chairs in a row that have no stuff on them. And we&#39;re like, great, this is we&#39;ll park our stuff. We park our stuff, we go in the wave pool. We&#39;re in the wave pool. We come back a couple times, do snacks. We go back in the wave pool. We come back, and a woman has moved all of our stuff and thrown it on the ground next to this chair. And she&#39;s sitting there with this fucking look on her face. Like, wow. She&#39;s like, I dare you to come for me. And I&#39;m holding my two-year-old daughter, and I go, excuse me, did you throw our stuff on the ground? And she comes at me with a force of a thousand megatons. She&#39;s like, Okay, you, I was here first. You threw my shit down. And she&#39;s like screaming at me as I&#39;m holding my two-year-old daughter. And now this is where like two roads diverge in a yellow wood. I was like, all I want to do is throw down with this girl. I want to match her energy, her maturity level. But I have a two-year-old girl in my hand. And I&#39;m like, I I I A, I don&#39;t, you don&#39;t win fights with these kind of people, right? Like, this is not a like, she&#39;s made the decision that I moved her stuff or whatever. But I so I was like, you know what? Here&#39;s maybe here&#39;s what happened. Before I came here, somebody moved your stuff, and I all I saw was blank chairs, but my stuff was. But what I wanted to say was like, babe, we&#39;ve been here for 45 minutes. I promise you, this is not true, and you&#39;ve maybe you you&#39;re you&#39;re misled. But it was crazy. I had this woman like screaming at me, and I had this two-year-old girl in my hand who&#39;s kind of watching us, like, what is going on? All I wanted to do was get arrested, but I did not. But on the way in, I have this like moment of fake outrage because I walk in and there&#39;s like women&#39;s room, and then I walk a little bit, and then it says family changing room. And then I know I can kind of see further down, it&#39;s like men&#39;s room. And I was like, Oh, I was like saying my husband, I was like, we should go in the family changing room. And we take one step in and it says women with children only. Gavin: 4:59 Oh wait, and it&#39;s a private, a private stall room, or what it&#39;s like a changing room, but it&#39;s like women with children. David: 5:07 It&#39;s like family room, and then somebody&#39;s like taped a sign, women with children only. And so, of course, Brian and I are both like, oh, fuck this place, and we&#39;re gonna do this with this. And then you&#39;re gonna write a letter, and then on our way out, we&#39;re walking out, and we happen to miss the other changing room that&#39;s family changing room, men with children only. And I was like, God damn it. Gavin: 5:27 We had footprint- Oh, the world is a better place. David: 5:29 We had foot fake outrage. But anyway, I will say it was surprisingly a really great trip. My son got on the yellow slide, which if you don&#39;t know what the yellow slide is, the yellow slide is like the medium big kids slide where it&#39;s like six to eight-year-olds ride it and he&#39;s only four, but they let him do it because he&#39;s tall enough. And he was like, I don&#39;t want to go by myself. I was like, Well, they won&#39;t let me go on. And he would, you could see him just trying to decide if he was gonna bail or not. And he went, I&#39;m gonna do it. And he just sat down and he just like shot off. And I, like, my heart leapt out of my chest because I was like, he&#39;s gonna go around the twisties. I can&#39;t see him. He&#39;s just I&#39;m just gonna have to meet him on the bottom. And it was one of these moments where I was like pushing the baby out of the nest. It was kind of sad in a weird way, but I was very proud of him. Gavin: 6:08 But I&#39;m proud of you both for getting through that. And uh, and it is a big deal to watch your kid suddenly disappear down a slide. I too have had a few water park experiences, although in retrospect, not as many as even I would like to. I mean, water parks are like amusement parks. You think, oh god, it&#39;s just gonna be so expensive and so full of obnoxious people, and I&#39;m gonna hate every second of it. But wow, I can&#39;t, I know how to be Eeyore, don&#39;t I? But ultimately, they&#39;re so fun. And you look back on it and you&#39;re like, you only remember the good times. And um, I definitely, my kids being a little older, we have done those, I don&#39;t know how to describe them, but they&#39;re like a hundred-foot drop, vertical drop. You get, you know, sealed in a bullet and it you get, you know, and you just drop. And I watched my little kid, gosh, he was maybe five or six at the time. He looked just so minuscule. And I watched him disappear, and I thought, oh, I&#39;m gonna be arrested now. I should not have done that. I should not have done that. Um, and lo and behold, the only thing lost in that episode was when I went down and I lost my credit card because it was in my pocket and I never found it again. But but they still found ways to get money out of me, that&#39;s for sure. But water parks are kind of the best. David: 7:24 They are the best, but we I really made uh I had such a great time, and it was mostly because I was like, I&#39;m just gonna enjoy my kids and the way pool. I&#39;m not gonna like stress out about the people, I&#39;m not gonna stress about this woman in fucking champion underwear yelling at me. And then also, I&#39;m not gonna stress about like OPKs, which we talk about all the time, other people&#39;s kids who I hate. I hate other people&#39;s kids. All of them. OPKs We had we had we had a really great time, I will say. And it was like one of those, and it was it was just one of those great experiences where, like, surprisingly, nobody shit in the water, nobody hit their head, nobody did any of that stuff. It was just other than this woman screaming at me, um, it was it was a lovely time. Gavin: 8:04 Um, related to water parks, but not at all, except it was a bar. I was hanging out with some friends the other night, and we were talking about the podcast. And it reminded me how we might I remind our listeners have been doing this for over a year now. What is this? Episode 60? 60. 60, yeah. Which I&#39;m proud as fuck is us of us, you know? Yeah. And we have made a real concerted effort recently to be diving into finding new guests because, frankly, I&#39;ll put it out there in the world, it&#39;s getting harder. And part of me thinks there should be millions of parents out there who can speak eloquently or at least comedically, yeah, about being a gay triarch, whatever that you, and being a parent, right? But it&#39;s hard. And I was talking to these guys the other night, telling them about the podcast, and they&#39;re like, you know, you just need to have some people from TikTok on. And I&#39;m like, yeah, I&#39;ve I&#39;ve heard that before. But I started to say to them, you know, it&#39;s kind of surprising how few of us there are, because in reality, there&#39;s not that many queer parents out there. We just take up, you know, 49% of the airwaves in the news of the histrionics of people thinking, oh God, we&#39;re going to hell in a handbasket, because all these people are gay and all these kids are turning gay, and all these gay parents. Really, there&#39;s not that many, right? Did you know? So I&#39;m here to bring some stats and some reality to us, all right? So try not to fall asleep. It&#39;s interesting. Did you know what would you say is the percent of US adults who identify as gay? David: 9:47 Are we talking about queer in general, like all the things, or just I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 9:50 The website that I was looking at a few seconds ago. David: 9:52 It doesn&#39;t matter. Um, I&#39;m gonna I&#39;m gonna guess 13%. Gavin: 9:57 5.5%. SPEAKER_04: 9:58 Okay. Gavin: 9:59 Which is then, you translate that into real numbers because there&#39;s a lot of people in this country, 13.9 million. David: 10:05 But if you if you actually if you asked that same question to people under the age of 20, I guarantee you would be 30 percent. Oh, I agree. Gavin: 10:12 I agree with you. And these stats are from 2019, which isn&#39;t really that long ago. Although, as we know, gay conversion took place greatly during the pandemic, obviously, because it was um just RuPaul&#39;s. If you&#39;re bored, just be gay. That&#39;s really what yeah, yeah. Exactly. Um, 36% of uh gay people live in the South. That&#39;s five million. Fourteen point three percent of people in Washington, DC identify as queer. Wow. I think that&#39;s somehow hilarious. Insert political joke here. Uh 1.5 million queer people in California. Um amongst young adults ages 18 to 24, that percentage is 15.2 percent. Although I would agree that it&#39;s probably higher now than it was just a few years ago. SPEAKER_04: 10:58 Yeah. Gavin: 10:58 And uh that translates to 4.7 million people ages 18 to 24. Um, which 4.7 million sounds like a lot, but when you put the percentage in, you&#39;re like, okay, it&#39;s not that many. Now, as for couples, there are 357,000 people who are married, gay people who are married, or 705,000 same-sex couples, you know, married or otherwise. Uh, of those, 114,000 are actually raising kids. That&#39;s so like what 25, 30 percent? That&#39;s uh quite a bit. Of of all of the gay people. Of the couples. Yeah, of the couples. Of the people who are coupled, yes, that&#39;s a fairly high percentage, but of the gays in general, not that many. But 24% of all of the gay couples are female parents. Eight percent of all of the gay couples are male parents. David: 11:54 I&#39;m missing some numbers. Gavin: 11:55 There&#39;s because there are many, many um gay couples, many of them married, not necessarily having kids. So, of all of those couples, there&#39;s 24% of those gay couples are lesbian parents, uh-huh, and eight percent of those all those queer couples are gay men raising kids. David: 12:14 So, what happens with the other 48% of kids. They&#39;re married or they&#39;re coupled, but they don&#39;t have kids. Got it. Okay, got it. Oh, I love it when I feel smarter. And then um, and then uh That&#39;s okay, it&#39;s just you and I talking right now. All of our listeners have deleted this episode at this point. Gavin: 12:31 Yeah, well, anyway, it just brings us down to like we we do have this kind of interestingly existential problem because even though those are big ass numbers, still we&#39;re looking for people all the time. And um, and it seems like there are so many of us because you hear about us all the time in the news, but it&#39;s really not that many. David: 12:49 So and if anybody out there is having trouble sleeping tonight, just play this episode back a couple of times, and I think you&#39;ll go you&#39;ll go right to sleep. Gavin: 12:57 I think those numbers are interesting. David: 12:59 I like it&#39;s it&#39;s super interesting. But you know what&#39;s not. Don&#39;t play Kate. You know what&#39;s really interesting? Tell me our top three list. Gate three marks, top three list, three, two, one. So, our top three list this week is our top three least favorite sayings. Uh, and this is my list, so I will go first. Bring it. Uh number three for me, when somebody says, you know, I give 110%. Let&#39;s talk about fractions, people, and percentages. This is a math episode after all. There is nothing more than 100%. If you can&#39;t eat more than 100% of a pie. So if you give 110%, I worry for you. So number three, I give 110%. Number two, that&#39;s what it&#39;s all about. Because I hear that&#39;s what it&#39;s all about about a lot of things. So, what is it actually all about? Right? And number one, this thing makes me makes me want to jump off my roof. Everything happens for a reason. A, no, it doesn&#39;t. B, of course it does, because everything happens after something else. But there, but the idea that, like, no, yeah, you got into that car accident because the guy at Denny sneezed a little bit. Like, no, no, it didn&#39;t. Stop it. Everything does not happen for a reason. And also, yes, everything happens for a reason. Okay, what about you? Gavin: 14:19 So, for my top three list that I of the my least...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Y&apos;all we are SHOOK this week, also David goes to a waterpark with his kids, we discuss the top 3 worst sayings, and this week trans Dads Brett &#38; Wyatt join our chicken coop to talk about their life in Canada, what the adoption process was like for them as trans people, and why they ran down their street screaming and holding a bloody baby when it wasn&apos;t even Halloween Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast . 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 But it just feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m being academic. Uh let&#39;s just give it a try and maybe we&#39;ll put it in somewhere else, okay? Hey. Unre and this is paid Gatriarchs. David: 0:12 This is what now? I almost said you try you try to get there too fast. You gotta let you gotta let the Gatriarchs tag just sit there. And then you&#39;ve got to reach out and grab it, and you gotta say You gotta tickle it a little bit. Oh, see? God, wow. This is this is not this is maybe. I was just gonna riff with you. Maybe podcasting is not for you, Gavin. I know, I know. And this is Gatriarchs. Gotcha, bitch. Oh my god. We just had an earthquake. And I noticed I know, I know this is news three weeks ago, guys, but like Gavin and I were literally just about to record. We were both on Riverside, and all of a sudden I went, What is that? And Gavin looked at me weird and I threw my headphones on. I run upstairs and I&#39;m like, what the fuck is going on? I had this conversation with my husband. We realized there&#39;s been an earthquake. I come downstairs and Gavin&#39;s like, I felt it too. Gavin: 1:15 Well, you yes, you had abandoned me. I abandoned. So I was just sitting here and then I&#39;m like, wait a minute, why is somebody shaking my wall? What? And then it kept going, and then it kept going. And then I heard you yelling from the other room, let me see if Gavin felt it too. David: 1:32 And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I did. Crazy. I did. Yeah. We don&#39;t have that shit here. We we uh we just we don&#39;t allow those things in these parts. But guess what? It happened, and it was really fucking weird. But anyway, the people on the uh west coast are like fuck you guys, we get earthquakes every eight minutes. But for us, we&#39;re not used to it. And it was exciting, the whole ground was shaking like a real earthquake. Gavin: 1:53 Anyway, I&#39;ve had people texting from all over the country, and you know, I mean, we we will rebuild. We will rebuild here. Uh, but it was um it was really exciting. I have never in my life felt an earthquake. David: 2:07 We popped your earthquake cherry. That&#39;s nice. Um so I want to talk a little bit about an event I went to this weekend. Not an event. We I took my kids to the water park. Now, let&#39;s talk about it, first of all, because I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Gavin: 2:22 And I want to talk about what it is still April. It&#39;s not like we recorded this in August. What water park is open? David: 2:29 So I live near uh the world&#39;s largest indoor water park. It&#39;s called the American Dream Mall. So it&#39;s all indoors. It&#39;s in the middle of the winter, it&#39;s still like 100 degrees in there. It&#39;s amazing. Yeah. Anyway. Wow. I I have a I have an issue with water park people. Now, this is not a new take. Everyone has heard this take before. But why are theme park people and water park people the worst people on the planet? We come to this, so we come to this water park and it is packed. Whatever. It&#39;s packed. And there are no chairs anywhere. You have to just like everyone&#39;s shit is all over their chairs. Yeah. So we we come across way in the back corner, these like three chairs in a row that have no stuff on them. And we&#39;re like, great, this is we&#39;ll park our stuff. We park our stuff, we go in the wave pool. We&#39;re in the wave pool. We come back a couple times, do snacks. We go back in the wave pool. We come bac]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Y&apos;all we are SHOOK this week, also David goes to a waterpark with his kids, we discuss the top 3 worst sayings, and this week trans Dads Brett &#38; Wyatt join our chicken coop to talk about their life in Canada, what the adoption process was like for them as trans people, and why they ran down their street screaming and holding a bloody baby when it wasn&apos;t even Halloween Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast . 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 But it just feels like I&#39;m I&#39;m being academic. Uh let&#39;s just give it a try and maybe we&#39;ll put it in somewhere else, okay? Hey. Unre and this is paid Gatriarchs. David: 0:12 This is what now? I almost said you try you try to get there too fast. You gotta let you gotta let the Gatriarchs tag just sit there. And then you&#39;ve got to reach out and grab it, and you gotta say You gotta tickle it a little bit. Oh, see? God, wow. This is th]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with our favorite Mormon Rory O&#8217;Malley</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-our-favorite-mormon-rory-omalley/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter sells him out big time, Gavin ruins everything, we rank the top 3 things we give way too many fucks about, and our guest this week is everybody&apos;s favorite tap-dancing Mormon, Rory O&apos;Malley, who talks to us about his wild road to adoption, how Elder McKinley came to be, and how many bags of candy he needs to survive a flight with his 5 year old. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da. David: 0:28 And now I want you to say, and this is gateriarchism. SPEAKER_00: 0:32 This is Gatriarchist. David: 0:47 So my daughter is two, and I&#39;m dropping her off at daycare. And I bring her the room, I put her stuff away, and the teachers are talking to her. And then the teacher goes, Oh, wait, Dad, one more thing. I wanted to tell you what Hannah told us. So, okay. Hannah told us when you cook in the kitchen that you fart a lot. A, why are you in my business? B, Hannah, you fucking two-year-old narc. Why are you telling your teachers that I fart when I cook? A number one, I&#39;m cooking for you, food that you refuse to eat. But B, why you gotta tell my business like that? So fucking embarrassing. And then what do I say? Oh no, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t fart when I cook. I I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know what she&#39;s talking about. Gavin: 1:33 Like, what do I do? Also, what empowered the teacher to tell you that? David: 1:38 Like, like I I&#39;m just I&#39;m mad at the whole thing. Gavin: 1:40 And nothing good comes of that except you being the one to say it and being in charge of the comedy. Instead, you&#39;re just on the defensive on all fronts. David: 1:51 And let&#39;s not like methane uh shame anybody here, right? Like we&#39;re all we all fart, maybe while we&#39;re cooking. But I don&#39;t need you to go spread my business at that school. I have no idea what, but but more I&#39;m mad at the teachers. I was like, hey, if you heard that, you shut your mouth about it. Don&#39;t be telling everybody. Also, there are other parents dropping their kids off at the same time. Humiliating. Thank God the hot dad wasn&#39;t there. If hot dad was there, I would have lit the building on fire with a fart. Gavin: 2:21 You would have just torched it all. Yeah. Well, um, that definitely you ruined your day picking up Hannah. But um, speaking of ruining things, um, I had the realization that I ruin things all the time for my kids. Like, I am way too quick to be like, eh, uh-uh, you&#39;re going like last week I was talking about going to the mall. Like, you&#39;re going to the mall. I&#39;m not going to give you hundreds of dollars. Like, whose money are you spending with? Meanwhile, my kids like, I just want to go to the mall and walk around. Bullshit. But still, I ruin things so much. And uh, and my son called me on it. And he&#39;s like, Dad, you&#39;re ruining my dreams when I was when I was shitting on something because he was talking about how he plans obviously to be a soccer superstar when he grows up. And I was like, Well, that&#39;s a great idea, buddy, but also what&#39;s your fallback basically? And he s sniffed me out and he could tell that I was ruining his dreams. And I&#39;m like, oh my God. I was told that I&#39;m ruining my children&#39;s dreams, and that is not something great. But I realized, I don&#39;t know. I guess I just need to. I mean, where do where did I become this practical person suddenly? I fucking moved to New York with a guitar and a backpack and started tap dancing. David: 3:38 Like my mom&#39;s disgusting things you have done in the Port Authority bathroom. You&#39;re like, how can I ever tell somebody to do anything else? Gavin: 3:45 Exactly. Do I want my kids to have those experiences? Well. Anyway, uh, I have a dad hack of the week. Oh, thank God. Something helpful. So I was thinking about some of the things that help kids uh not get bored because obviously they&#39;re all bored all the damn time, right? So a couple of the things that really helped us that were passed on to me by much smarter parents than me are painting rocks, washing the car, and banging wood. Yeah. David: 4:13 So have you, I I don&#39;t know that you did you pause there because you were waiting for me to do some sort of like dirty take on banging wood? Is that why you did a little pause? Okay. Gavin: 4:21 Yes, I did. I mean, you&#39;re looking at the same outline that I am. How did you? David: 4:25 I&#39;m just not gonna take your bait. I know what you&#39;re trying to do here. You&#39;re trying to make me look foolish. Nope, not gonna happen. Not on my watch, Satan. Gavin: 4:32 All right, so painting rocks. It never occurred to me when I was uh when this was shared with me. Go for a long ass walk, pick up some rocks, and then get some uh water-based paint and let the kids go to town. And they can paint themselves, they can frankly paint the house. It&#39;s all water-based, right? So it&#39;ll go away. David: 4:46 That&#39;s really good. We I will say also for the toddler version that we do every year, which we love, is getting big paint brushes just dipped in water and painting the sidewalk. Yes. It&#39;s the exact or or big pieces of like cardboard. It&#39;s the same thing. It leaves a mark, they can do stuff, but like there&#39;s there&#39;s no harm, no foul. Gavin: 5:01 Yeah, and it&#39;s it&#39;s one of those things that it seems I bet it seems like it&#39;s too much work, but no, it&#39;s not work at all. So um that&#39;s a helpful one. Washing the car, you know, just a sponge in a bucket and put the kids to work. I mean, if you do live in a place where you&#39;re like driving cars and you&#39;re not afraid they&#39;re gonna trip and fall into the street, but and also you don&#39;t want your car to actually be clean. David: 5:20 Like it&#39;s like they&#39;re not gonna actually clean the car. It&#39;s just more just an enjoyable activity. Gavin: 5:25 Yeah. But it does distract them for at least six and a half minutes. And then banging wood, uh, everybody&#39;s favorite. Like just give them a hammer and some wood, maybe a nail. David: 5:36 I&#39;ll also add to that, we will all also do like we&#39;ll freeze a lot of their toys, like their little character figures, and a big block of ice, and then we&#39;ll do that with a hammer and let them just try to chip away and try to get the characters out. Gavin: 5:50 It doesn&#39;t make it fall apart. David: 5:52 Not the toys, it just makes the ice will start to fall apart, but that&#39;s the point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it&#39;s they they love that. And it&#39;s always like my son is obsessed with Elsa. It&#39;s like Elsa has frozen all the characters, you gotta save all the characters. Gavin: 6:02 So I can&#39;t believe they don&#39;t fall apart. I mean, that immediately makes me think of in uh when I I had my little Han solo action figure that I wanted to freeze in ice, just like in Empire Strikes Back, obvious. And his fucking arm broke off in the ice. So, like, and that wasn&#39;t even me banging it apart with a hand with a hammer. It&#39;s just his arm broke off in the ice. David: 6:22 Is that experience like your villain origin story? Is it like ever since then I decided to do bad? Gavin: 6:27 I mean, well, what&#39;s worse is that my mom never got me another Han Solo to replace my broken one. So I just had an armless Han Solo for the next 17 years while I played with my Star Wars figures. Anyway. Uh, so speaking of absolutely nothing, let&#39;s do our top three lists, shall we? Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s top three list is mine. But the title is Top Three Things You Give Too Many Fucks About. Number three for me, eating veggies. I&#39;m absolutely obsessed with my kids having something green on their plate. And once in a while, is it that big a deal if they just have a plate of pasta and call it a day? No, it&#39;s not, but it&#39;s a big deal to me and I give too many fucks about it. Number two, making the bed. Nope. They don&#39;t need to make the bed all the time. I don&#39;t need to make the bed all the time. But it does drive me crazy when somebody can&#39;t make the bed. It just drives me crazy. So I give too many fucks about it. And number one, things that I give too many fucks about uh good manners. Maybe sometimes it&#39;s okay to not worry about making eye contact and saying hello, but I this comes to me being too obsessed with other parents judging me and my parenting. And I don&#39;t mean please and thank you. You say you&#39;re fucking please and thank yous, but I also mean like good manners of standing upright, looking somebody in the eye, and not fidgeting while you talk to them. And uh I should probably let that go, but I give a lot of fucks about that. David: 7:53 Isn&#39;t it amazing how much we change? Like you were giving blowjobs in back alleys 20 years ago, and now you&#39;re making your kids stand up straight. Isn&#39;t that amazing how much we change? Um yeah, my list um yeah, my list, unsurprisingly, is uh much different than yours. Um for me, uh number three, one of the things I give way too many fucks about is drivers who are wrong but think they&#39;re right. When you&#39;re at a stop sign, you&#39;re at a three-way, whatever the the situation is, my husband has to hear me complain endlessly about a intersection in our town that nobody gets right. Um, and I give way too many fucks about it. Uh number two, if I ask for double meat at Chipotle and the scoop size is not what I think it needs to be, I will think about that for days. I will think you gave me one and a half scoops when I deserved a minimum of two. If I got regular meat, you&#39;ll give me one and a half, or like one and a quarter. You know, they do that little like like like hospitality scoop at the end. And if I ask for doubled meat and I get one and a half meat, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll lay up in bed thinking about it. So, number two, scoops of Chipotle. Uh and number one, this this is the most pervasive thing. Are you mad at me? I think everyone&#39;s mad at me. I think nobody&#39;s willing to tell me. And I&#39;m wondering what I did to make them. Gavin: 9:09 We&#39;re we&#39;re all we all have a side thread without you on it, talking about how mad we are at you. David: 9:14 And I know that. And I imagine what those threads look like, and I imagine what the titles of those threads are and what the avatar is for them. Yeah. So that&#39;s number one. Um, all right. So next week, uh, let&#39;s do the your top three least favorite sayings. So our guest this week, he&#39;s an actor, a producer, an activist, an all-around ginger. He&#39;s been our king, our queen, our dream girl, our elder, our bard, but most of all, he&#39;s our daddy. Please welcome to the show, Rory O&#39;Malley. Hello, all those things. SPEAKER_01: 9:51 Thanks for having me, guys. That&#39;s the best intro ever. That&#39;s a bio. David: 9:55 Those are all real things. For those of you who want to like do your little like Easter egg research, every one of those represents something that Rory is famous for. Gavin: 10:03 There&#39;s a lot of YouTube coverage of Rory for sure. David: 10:06 This is true. Yeah, and there&#39;s some X tube as well, but we this is not that time. We&#39;re not gonna go into that. SPEAKER_01: 10:11 Yeah, the pandemic was rough, okay? It&#39;s a different time for everyone. Gavin: 10:15 We did what we needed to do. Actually, this is the podcast to talk about that, but that&#39;ll be our fourth question, okay? First. David: 10:22 Yeah. Um, first, welcome to the show. We um we everyone on this call is a gay dad who&#39;s been on Broadway. That&#39;s pretty fucking cool. Yes. Yeah. I think this might be our first time. Whoa. Right? The holy trends? Gavin: 10:36 Yes, yes. Yes, I think you&#39;re exactly. David: 10:38 We&#39;ve had Broadway people and we&#39;ve had gay dads, but we&#39;ve never had a Broadway gay dad before. So welcome to the box. SPEAKER_01: 10:43 So let&#39;s talk about triple threats. Very special. That&#39;s exciting. Shouldn&#39;t we be tap dancing while we say that? No. Gavin: 10:50 We should. Well, while you were tap dancing this morning, how did your uh how did your family life go and drive you bananas this morning? SPEAKER_01: 10:56 Oh, well, it&#39;s spring break, so there&#39;s no school. Oh, which was the remember when we were talking about scheduling this? I was like, oh, we&#39;ll do it during school, you know. People the fear that goes through my body when there&#39;s no school. Gavin: 11:14 Yeah. Yeah. There should be it should be year-round school, year round, every single day, and maybe just Saturdays off, but we should have school on Sundays too. SPEAKER_01: 11:22 I literally, I if if it wasn&#39;t inappropriate, I would go up to my son&#39;s teacher every day after school and hug her as hard as I could and say thank you. Thank for the child&#39;s provider. Thank you for today. You gave me a day. I love you. I love it so much. Uh so when she has her time off, it&#39;s it&#39;s very difficult. Um no, we we woke up today early because uh Jimmy and I flew by ourselves yesterday back from Cleveland to Los Angeles because I&#39;m from Cleveland, Ohio, and we were visiting family to do it&#39;s all about activities, right? Find things to do. So I said, we&#39;ll split up the week. I&#39;ll go to Cleveland, visit family with Jimmy by myself on a plane, a five-year-old, which is the dumbest thing you can decide to do. He&#39;s very, very good on planes, but he&#39;s still five. It&#39;s still like an anxiety nightmare the entire time you&#39;re on a plane with a five-year-old by yourself. And so he was exhausted, I was exhausted, and he woke up like at three in the morning to this morning, like, where am I? What&#39;s going on? Like he was like, This is uh what time zone are we in? You know, he was like, This is insane. Why did you bring me to a different time zone for three days and then come back? Gavin: 12:46 Yeah, yeah. So uh for only three days, right? SPEAKER_01: 12:49 So it&#39;s it&#39;s currently uh almost nine o&#39;clock. We&#39;ve been up about six hours. Uh oh Jesus. Oh boy. On and off. On and off. We get sleep when we can. Um but yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s been a it&#39;s been a crazy morning as it as it always is. That word break is ironic in spring break. David: 13:06 Am I right? Yeah, yeah. Break for who? It breaks something. Whose break? Whose break? Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 13:11 Besides my spirit, whose breaking really well, since you&#39;re so fresh off an airplane, I&#39;m curious. Did you have any dad hacks to get you through that flight and make it more palatable? SPEAKER_01: 13:21 Um, all the the ones I&#39;m ashamed of. David: 13:24 Like, oh yeah, you&#39;re at the right place. Come sit next to us. And an iPad. iPad iPad. SPEAKER_01: 13:29 Candy, candy, and just pure uh like promises of what we can do if he behaves. Like, like just what do you want? Anything. Like, just please behave. Um, he he really is he&#39;s gotten so good because we do live in Los Angeles, and and my husband is also from the Midwest. You know, so many times families here in LA, they&#39;re like, we&#39;re going on a cruise, we&#39;re going to Europe. And my son&#39;s like, I&#39;m going to Cleveland. You know, and they&#39;re like, is this a punishment? David: 14:03 Why are you going to Cleveland? SPEAKER_01: 14:04 And he he, I swear he is because we have so many family members and there&#39;s like so many young kids there, he loves going to the Midwest so much. It&#39;s all it&#39;s the travel that we do is we go to the Midwest. That&#39;s what we&#39;re supposed to do right now. But he&#39;s gotten very good at it. He&#39;s great. So I don&#39;t want to belittle how great he is on a plane, but it&#39;s definitely come with us learning like we have a candy bag, we have everything like programming our iPad before we get on the plane. Like what uh like it is a topic of discussion for a week. Like, I think he&#39;ll definitely...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter sells him out big time, Gavin ruins everything, we rank the top 3 things we give way too many fucks about, and our guest this week is everybody&apos;s favorite tap-dancing Mormon, Rory O&apos;Malley, who talks to us about]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter sells him out big time, Gavin ruins everything, we rank the top 3 things we give way too many fucks about, and our guest this week is everybody&apos;s favorite tap-dancing Mormon, Rory O&apos;Malley, who talks to us about his wild road to adoption, how Elder McKinley came to be, and how many bags of candy he needs to survive a flight with his 5 year old. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da. David: 0:28 And now I want you to say, and this is gateriarchism. SPEAKER_00: 0:32 This is Gatriarchist. David: 0:47 So my daughter is two, and I&#39;m dropping her off at daycare. And I bring her the room, I put her stuff away, and the teachers are talking to her. And then the teacher goes, Oh, wait, Dad, one more thing. I wanted to tell you what Hannah told us. So, okay. Hannah told us when you cook in the kitchen that you fart a lot. A, why are you in my business? B, Hannah, you fucking two-year-old narc. Why are you telling your teachers that I fart when I cook? A number one, I&#39;m cooking for you, food that you refuse to eat. But B, why you gotta tell my business like that? So fucking embarrassing. And then what do I say? Oh no, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t fart when I cook. I I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know what she&#39;s talking about. Gavin: 1:33 Like, what do I do? Also, what empowered the teacher to tell you that? David: 1:38 Like, like I I&#39;m just I&#39;m mad at the whole thing. Gavin: 1:40 And nothing good comes of that except you being the one to say it and being in charge of the comedy. Instead, you&#39;re just on the defensive on all fronts. David: 1:51 And let&#39;s not like methane uh shame anybody here, right? Like we&#39;re all we all fart, maybe while we&#39;re cooking. But I don&#39;t need you to go spread my business at that school. I have no idea what, but but more I&#39;m mad at the teachers. I was like, hey, if you heard that, you shut your mouth about it. Don&#39;t be telling everybody. Also, there are other parents dropping their kids off at the same time. Humiliating. Thank God the hot dad wasn&#39;t there. If hot dad was there, I would have lit the building on fire with a fart. Gavin: 2:21 You would have just torched it all. Yeah. Well, um, that definitely you ruined your day picking up Hannah. But um, speaking of ruining things, um, I had the realization that I ruin things all the time for my kids. Like, I am way too quick to be like, eh, uh-uh, you&#39;re going like last week I was talking about going to the mall. Like, you&#39;re going to the mall. I&#39;m not going to give you hundreds of dollars. Like, whose money are you spending with? Meanwhile, my kids like, I just want to go to the mall and walk around. Bullshit. But still, I ruin things so much. And uh, and my son called me on it. And he&#39;s like, Dad, you&#39;re ruining my dreams when I was when I was shitting on something because he was talking about how he plans obviously to be a soccer superstar when he grows up. And I was like, Well, that&#39;s a great idea, buddy, but also what&#39;s your fallback basically? And he s sniffed me out and he could tell that I was ruining his dreams. And I&#39;m like, oh my God. I was told that I&#39;m ruining my children&#39;s dreams, and that is not something great. But I realized, I don&#39;t know. I guess I just need to. I mean, where do where did I become this practical person suddenly? I fucking moved to New York with a guitar and a backpack and started tap dancing. David: 3:38 Like my mom&#39;s disgusting things you have done in the Port Authority bathroom. You&#39;re like, how can I ever tell somebody to do anything else? Gavin: 3:45 Exactly. Do I want my kids to have those experiences? Well. Anyway, uh, I have a dad hack of the week. Oh, thank God. Something helpful. So I was thinking about some of the things that help kids uh not get bored because obviously they&#39;re all bored all the damn time, right? So a couple of the things that really helped us that were passed on to me by much smarter parents than me are painting rocks, washing the car, and banging wood. Yeah. David: 4:13 So have you, I I don&#39;t know that you did you pause there because you were waiting for me to do some sort of like dirty take on banging wood? Is that why you did a little pause? Okay. Gavin: 4:21 Yes, I did. I mean, you&#39;re looking at the same outline that I am. How did you? David: 4:25 I&#39;m just not gonna take your bait. I know what you&#39;re trying to do here. You&#39;re trying to make me look foolish. Nope, not gonna happen. Not on my watch, Satan. Gavin: 4:32 All right, so painting rocks. It never occurred to me when I was uh when this was shared with me. Go for a long ass walk, pick up some rocks, and then get some uh water-based paint and let the kids go to town. And they can paint themselves, they can frankly paint the house. It&#39;s all water-based, right? So it&#39;ll go away. David: 4:46 That&#39;s really good. We I will say also for the toddler version that we do every year, which we love, is getting big paint brushes just dipped in water and painting the sidewalk. Yes. It&#39;s the exact or or big pieces of like cardboard. It&#39;s the same thing. It leaves a mark, they can do stuff, but like there&#39;s there&#39;s no harm, no foul. Gavin: 5:01 Yeah, and it&#39;s it&#39;s one of those things that it seems I bet it seems like it&#39;s too much work, but no, it&#39;s not work at all. So um that&#39;s a helpful one. Washing the car, you know, just a sponge in a bucket and put the kids to work. I mean, if you do live in a place where you&#39;re like driving cars and you&#39;re not afraid they&#39;re gonna trip and fall into the street, but and also you don&#39;t want your car to actually be clean. David: 5:20 Like it&#39;s like they&#39;re not gonna actually clean the car. It&#39;s just more just an enjoyable activity. Gavin: 5:25 Yeah. But it does distract them for at least six and a half minutes. And then banging wood, uh, everybody&#39;s favorite. Like just give them a hammer and some wood, maybe a nail. David: 5:36 I&#39;ll also add to that, we will all also do like we&#39;ll freeze a lot of their toys, like their little character figures, and a big block of ice, and then we&#39;ll do that with a hammer and let them just try to chip away and try to get the characters out. Gavin: 5:50 It doesn&#39;t make it fall apart. David: 5:52 Not the toys, it just makes the ice will start to fall apart, but that&#39;s the point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it&#39;s they they love that. And it&#39;s always like my son is obsessed with Elsa. It&#39;s like Elsa has frozen all the characters, you gotta save all the characters. Gavin: 6:02 So I can&#39;t believe they don&#39;t fall apart. I mean, that immediately makes me think of in uh when I I had my little Han solo action figure that I wanted to freeze in ice, just like in Empire Strikes Back, obvious. And his fucking arm broke off in the ice. So, like, and that wasn&#39;t even me banging it apart with a hand with a hammer. It&#39;s just his arm broke off in the ice. David: 6:22 Is that experience like your villain origin story? Is it like ever since then I decided to do bad? Gavin: 6:27 I mean, well, what&#39;s worse is that my mom never got me another Han Solo to replace my broken one. So I just had an armless Han Solo for the next 17 years while I played with my Star Wars figures. Anyway. Uh, so speaking of absolutely nothing, let&#39;s do our top three lists, shall we? Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s top three list is mine. But the title is Top Three Things You Give Too Many Fucks About. Number three for me, eating veggies. I&#39;m absolutely obsessed with my kids having something green on their plate. And once in a while, is it that big a deal if they just have a plate of pasta and call it a day? No, it&#39;s not, but it&#39;s a big deal to me and I give too many fucks about it. Number two, making the bed. Nope. They don&#39;t need to make the bed all the time. I don&#39;t need to make the bed all the time. But it does drive me crazy when somebody can&#39;t make the bed. It just drives me crazy. So I give too many fucks about it. And number one, things that I give too many fucks about uh good manners. Maybe sometimes it&#39;s okay to not worry about making eye contact and saying hello, but I this comes to me being too obsessed with other parents judging me and my parenting. And I don&#39;t mean please and thank you. You say you&#39;re fucking please and thank yous, but I also mean like good manners of standing upright, looking somebody in the eye, and not fidgeting while you talk to them. And uh I should probably let that go, but I give a lot of fucks about that. David: 7:53 Isn&#39;t it amazing how much we change? Like you were giving blowjobs in back alleys 20 years ago, and now you&#39;re making your kids stand up straight. Isn&#39;t that amazing how much we change? Um yeah, my list um yeah, my list, unsurprisingly, is uh much different than yours. Um for me, uh number three, one of the things I give way too many fucks about is drivers who are wrong but think they&#39;re right. When you&#39;re at a stop sign, you&#39;re at a three-way, whatever the the situation is, my husband has to hear me complain endlessly about a intersection in our town that nobody gets right. Um, and I give way too many fucks about it. Uh number two, if I ask for double meat at Chipotle and the scoop size is not what I think it needs to be, I will think about that for days. I will think you gave me one and a half scoops when I deserved a minimum of two. If I got regular meat, you&#39;ll give me one and a half, or like one and a quarter. You know, they do that little like like like hospitality scoop at the end. And if I ask for doubled meat and I get one and a half meat, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll lay up in bed thinking about it. So, number two, scoops of Chipotle. Uh and number one, this this is the most pervasive thing. Are you mad at me? I think everyone&#39;s mad at me. I think nobody&#39;s willing to tell me. And I&#39;m wondering what I did to make them. Gavin: 9:09 We&#39;re we&#39;re all we all have a side thread without you on it, talking about how mad we are at you. David: 9:14 And I know that. And I imagine what those threads look like, and I imagine what the titles of those threads are and what the avatar is for them. Yeah. So that&#39;s number one. Um, all right. So next week, uh, let&#39;s do the your top three least favorite sayings. So our guest this week, he&#39;s an actor, a producer, an activist, an all-around ginger. He&#39;s been our king, our queen, our dream girl, our elder, our bard, but most of all, he&#39;s our daddy. Please welcome to the show, Rory O&#39;Malley. Hello, all those things. SPEAKER_01: 9:51 Thanks for having me, guys. That&#39;s the best intro ever. That&#39;s a bio. David: 9:55 Those are all real things. For those of you who want to like do your little like Easter egg research, every one of those represents something that Rory is famous for. Gavin: 10:03 There&#39;s a lot of YouTube coverage of Rory for sure. David: 10:06 This is true. Yeah, and there&#39;s some X tube as well, but we this is not that time. We&#39;re not gonna go into that. SPEAKER_01: 10:11 Yeah, the pandemic was rough, okay? It&#39;s a different time for everyone. Gavin: 10:15 We did what we needed to do. Actually, this is the podcast to talk about that, but that&#39;ll be our fourth question, okay? First. David: 10:22 Yeah. Um, first, welcome to the show. We um we everyone on this call is a gay dad who&#39;s been on Broadway. That&#39;s pretty fucking cool. Yes. Yeah. I think this might be our first time. Whoa. Right? The holy trends? Gavin: 10:36 Yes, yes. Yes, I think you&#39;re exactly. David: 10:38 We&#39;ve had Broadway people and we&#39;ve had gay dads, but we&#39;ve never had a Broadway gay dad before. So welcome to the box. SPEAKER_01: 10:43 So let&#39;s talk about triple threats. Very special. That&#39;s exciting. Shouldn&#39;t we be tap dancing while we say that? No. Gavin: 10:50 We should. Well, while you were tap dancing this morning, how did your uh how did your family life go and drive you bananas this morning? SPEAKER_01: 10:56 Oh, well, it&#39;s spring break, so there&#39;s no school. Oh, which was the remember when we were talking about scheduling this? I was like, oh, we&#39;ll do it during school, you know. People the fear that goes through my body when there&#39;s no school. Gavin: 11:14 Yeah. Yeah. There should be it should be year-round school, year round, every single day, and maybe just Saturdays off, but we should have school on Sundays too. SPEAKER_01: 11:22 I literally, I if if it wasn&#39;t inappropriate, I would go up to my son&#39;s teacher every day after school and hug her as hard as I could and say thank you. Thank for the child&#39;s provider. Thank you for today. You gave me a day. I love you. I love it so much. Uh so when she has her time off, it&#39;s it&#39;s very difficult. Um no, we we woke up today early because uh Jimmy and I flew by ourselves yesterday back from Cleveland to Los Angeles because I&#39;m from Cleveland, Ohio, and we were visiting family to do it&#39;s all about activities, right? Find things to do. So I said, we&#39;ll split up the week. I&#39;ll go to Cleveland, visit family with Jimmy by myself on a plane, a five-year-old, which is the dumbest thing you can decide to do. He&#39;s very, very good on planes, but he&#39;s still five. It&#39;s still like an anxiety nightmare the entire time you&#39;re on a plane with a five-year-old by yourself. And so he was exhausted, I was exhausted, and he woke up like at three in the morning to this morning, like, where am I? What&#39;s going on? Like he was like, This is uh what time zone are we in? You know, he was like, This is insane. Why did you bring me to a different time zone for three days and then come back? Gavin: 12:46 Yeah, yeah. So uh for only three days, right? SPEAKER_01: 12:49 So it&#39;s it&#39;s currently uh almost nine o&#39;clock. We&#39;ve been up about six hours. Uh oh Jesus. Oh boy. On and off. On and off. We get sleep when we can. Um but yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s been a it&#39;s been a crazy morning as it as it always is. That word break is ironic in spring break. David: 13:06 Am I right? Yeah, yeah. Break for who? It breaks something. Whose break? Whose break? Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 13:11 Besides my spirit, whose breaking really well, since you&#39;re so fresh off an airplane, I&#39;m curious. Did you have any dad hacks to get you through that flight and make it more palatable? SPEAKER_01: 13:21 Um, all the the ones I&#39;m ashamed of. David: 13:24 Like, oh yeah, you&#39;re at the right place. Come sit next to us. And an iPad. iPad iPad. SPEAKER_01: 13:29 Candy, candy, and just pure uh like promises of what we can do if he behaves. Like, like just what do you want? Anything. Like, just please behave. Um, he he really is he&#39;s gotten so good because we do live in Los Angeles, and and my husband is also from the Midwest. You know, so many times families here in LA, they&#39;re like, we&#39;re going on a cruise, we&#39;re going to Europe. And my son&#39;s like, I&#39;m going to Cleveland. You know, and they&#39;re like, is this a punishment? David: 14:03 Why are you going to Cleveland? SPEAKER_01: 14:04 And he he, I swear he is because we have so many family members and there&#39;s like so many young kids there, he loves going to the Midwest so much. It&#39;s all it&#39;s the travel that we do is we go to the Midwest. That&#39;s what we&#39;re supposed to do right now. But he&#39;s gotten very good at it. He&#39;s great. So I don&#39;t want to belittle how great he is on a plane, but it&#39;s definitely come with us learning like we have a candy bag, we have everything like programming our iPad before we get on the plane. Like what uh like it is a topic of discussion for a week. Like, I think he&#39;ll definitely...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter sells him out big time, Gavin ruins everything, we rank the top 3 things we give way too many fucks about, and our guest this week is everybody&apos;s favorite tap-dancing Mormon, Rory O&apos;Malley, who talks to us about his wild road to adoption, how Elder McKinley came to be, and how many bags of candy he needs to survive a flight with his 5 year old. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da. David: 0:28 And now I want you to say, and this is gateriarchism. SPEAKER_00: 0:32 This is Gatriarchist. David: 0:47 So my daughter is two, and I&#39;m dropping her off at daycare. And I bring her the room, I put her stuff away, and the teachers are talking to her. And then the teacher goes, Oh, wait, Dad, one more thing. I wanted to tell you what Hannah told us. So, okay. Hannah told us when you cook in the kitchen that you fart a lot. A, why are you in my business? B, Hannah, you fucking two-year-old narc. Why are you telling your teachers that I fart when I cook? A number one, I&#39;m cooking for you, food that you refuse to eat. But B, why you gotta tell my business like that? So fucking embarrassing. And then what do I say? Oh no, I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t fart when I cook. I I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know what she&#39;s talking about. Gavin: 1:33 Like, what do I do? Also, what empowered the teacher to tell you that? David: 1:38 Like, like I I&#39;m just I&#39;m mad at the whole thing. Gavin: 1:40 And nothing good comes of that except you being the one to say it and being in charge of the comedy. Instead, you&#39;re just on the defensive on all fronts. David: 1:51 And let&#39;s not like methane uh shame anybody here, right? Like we&#39;re all we all fart, maybe while we&#39;re cooking. But I don&#39;t need you to go spread my business at that school. I have no idea what, but but more I&#39;m mad at the teachers. I was like, hey, if you heard that, you shut your mouth about it. Don&#39;t be telling everybody. Also, there are other parents dropping their kids off at the same time. Humiliating. Thank God the hot dad wasn&#39;t there. If hot dad was there, I would have lit the building on fire with a fart. Gavin: 2:21 You would have just torched it all. Yeah. Well, um, that definitely you ruined your day picking up Hannah. But um, speaking of ruining things, um, I had the realization that I ruin things all the time for my kids. Like, I am way too quick to be like, eh, uh-uh, you&#39;re going like last week I was talking about going to the mall. Like, you&#39;re going to the mall. I&#39;m not going to give you hundreds of dollars. Like, whose money are you spending with? Meanwhile, my kids like, I just want to go to the mall and walk around. Bullshit. But still, I ruin things so much. And uh, and my son called me on it. And he&#39;s like, Dad, you&#39;re ruining my dreams when I was when I was shitting on something because he was talking about how he plans obviously to be a soccer superstar when he grows up. And I was like, Well, that&#39;s a great idea, buddy, but also what&#39;s your fallback basically? And he s sniffed me out and he could tell that I was ruining his dreams. And I&#39;m like, oh my God. I was told that I&#39;m ruining my children&#39;s dreams, and that is not something great. But I realized, I don&#39;t know. I guess I just need to. I mean, where do where did I become this practical person suddenly? I fucking moved to New York with a guitar and a backpack and started tap dancing. David: 3:38 Like my mom&#39;s disgusting things you have done in the Port Authority bathroom. You&#39;re like, how can I ever tell somebody to do anything else? Gavin: 3:45 Exactly. Do I want my kids to have those experiences? Well. Anyway, uh, I have a dad hack of the week. Oh, thank God. Something helpful. So I was thinking about some of the things that h]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter sells him out big time, Gavin ruins everything, we rank the top 3 things we give way too many fucks about, and our guest this week is everybody&apos;s favorite tap-dancing Mormon, Rory O&apos;Malley, who talks to us about his wild road to adoption, how Elder McKinley came to be, and how many bags of candy he needs to survive a flight with his 5 year old. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da. David: 0:28 And now I want you to say, and this is gateriarchism. SPEAKER_00: 0:32 This is Gatriarchist. David: 0:47 So my daughter is two, and I&#39;m dropping her off at daycare. And I bring her the room, I put her stuff away, and the teachers are talking to her. And then the teacher goes, Oh, wait, Dad, one more thing. I wanted to tell you what Hannah told us. So, okay. Hannah told us when you cook in the kitc]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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<item>
	<title>The one with TikTok&#8217;er Owen Squires</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tiktoker-owen-squires/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-14793574</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin punishes his kid for being sick, David is weirded out by American Idol, Gavin thinks everything is &#34;gay,&#34; and we are joined by TikTok&apos;er Owen Squires who schools us on gentle parenting, pandemic stay-at-home Dad&apos;ing, and why he doesn&apos;t have more tank top videos. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Is yours funny? Gavin: 0:03 Uh hold on. I don&#39;t even remember what I wrote. What did I write? Why&#39;d I keep all this shit? Gavin books on Sick. Yeah, it&#39;s all right. Is it ever funny? I don&#39;t know. David: 0:15 Yeah, I mean that you&#39;re you kind of got a point there. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:33 So we had a good track record in terms of sickness this year. Um, really good track record. In fact, I definitely just fucked that over and jinxed it, didn&#39;t I? We&#39;re gonna be out with pneumonia for the next few months. David: 0:44 But anyway, you&#39;re gonna get scurvy in a week. Gavin: 0:47 My kid was home from school uh for two days in a row um because of fever. And uh it wasn&#39;t that big a deal, luckily, but it was it was questionable. I mean, it wasn&#39;t really a high fever. In fact, I verified with our principal, you know what is technically the temperature you&#39;re hope is supposed to keep your kid home at? David: 1:07 Ours at daycare is 100.9. Gavin: 1:09 You know, I was being reactionary. It was like 98.9, and we&#39;re like, oh God, it&#39;s a fever, which is dumb. It&#39;s like I&#39;ve lost my spidey instincts, right? So anyway, we kept him home at far too low a temperature. And he was fine, but I&#39;m but it was definitely like, okay, if you&#39;re gonna stay home, it&#39;s not gonna be fun. And so uh anticipating that we were gonna have a second day, I pulled out a whole bunch of shit that I&#39;ve kept for like those sick days, being like, oh, here&#39;s some books from my childhood that you&#39;ll find really interesting. David: 1:40 Here&#39;s some puzzles. You&#39;re talking about like the Torah, like the original Torah. Got it. Gavin: 1:46 Correct. Correct. And um, and some puzzles and some like activities for a rainy day that I hold on to, but in particular, shit that I held on to from my own childhood, which I thought at one point was gonna be uh like, oh, this will be so cool. The only time my kids will ever think that&#39;s cool is maybe when I&#39;m dead, and they find it and they go, Oh, that&#39;s kind of cool, and they throw it away. I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just my instincts. I&#39;m not a hoarder, but I am nostalgic. And I I don&#39;t know, I&#39;m nerdy and interested in history. And I thought that my kids would be remotely. No. David: 2:28 No, it&#39;s gonna be it&#39;ll the only time that&#39;ll, like you said, it&#39;ll be right after your funeral. They&#39;ll go home, you know, you serve food to all your friends, they all say, I&#39;m so sorry for your loss. They all leave the house and then you go through dad&#39;s old stuff. Then they will find it slightly interesting, but it&#39;s still going in the garbage. Gavin: 2:44 Yeah, it&#39;s going in the garbage, but I mean, uh like yeah, so I just was left there thinking, why did I keep all this shit? David: 2:54 Like uh, yeah, I uh I feel like our generation feels the same way about our parents who were really into keeping furniture. Like furniture was something you would pass down to your kids, like, oh, it&#39;s the it&#39;s grandma&#39;s china cabinet. And I know all of us in our or my generation, not your generation, um, but all of us in our generation are are very much like unattached to furniture. So they were so proud to hand down this thing that they thought was meaningful. Yeah, and then we look at them like they&#39;re pieces of shit, we throw it in the dumpster, and that&#39;s probably really hurtful, but it&#39;s true, like culturally, like I don&#39;t give a shit about a curio cabinet. Yeah, but to them it was super important. Gavin: 3:29 And uh, there are a lot of toys that I did keep. I mean, my like I said, my mom kept everything. David: 3:35 We&#39;ve we&#39;ve discussed that, and um but a lot of my old toys, like for those of you who didn&#39;t listen to that episode, we&#39;re talking about the tip of Gaben&#39;s penis, his mom kept his foreskin from his circumcision. Check whatever episode that was to go back to that. Gavin: 3:52 Just Google it. I&#39;m sure our SEO is spectacular right now, it&#39;ll be easy to find. So, you know that um the telephone that you pulled from the early 80s with and the little eyes went back and forth. I had one of those originals, and now you know, of course, Fisher Price remakes the new ones, and I&#39;m like, ha ha! I got you, corporate America. I have mine from 1983. And um, and I mean, certain things like that worked when they were kids with little toddlers, they didn&#39;t know the difference. So I I do feel like I totally screwed over corporate, the like the toy um uh industrial complex. David: 4:26 But you know what I miss about books of that time period is books back then, when you would smell them, they&#39;d make you have to poop right away. Do you know what I mean? That smell of like raw wood book. Like books now, they&#39;re like plastic covered and whatever. Those old books, man, just one big whiff, you&#39;re in the toilet. Gavin: 4:43 Excuse me, I gotta, I&#39;ll be right back. David: 4:46 Um, speaking of toilet and garbage, um, not not terrible transition. This has nothing to do with that. Um, I get about 45 minutes of television a day. And that&#39;s from when my oldest goes to bed until where I&#39;m ready to go to bed around 9:15. Right. So we tend to watch like throwaway shows like Survivor and Amazing Race and American Idol and stuff that like it&#39;s enjoyable enough, but I&#39;m really just scrolling on my phone. Gavin: 5:08 You&#39;re so disconnected from actual quality American TV. David: 5:11 Which is hilarious because I work in television, I create television, and I just don&#39;t have time to watch it. Right. But what&#39;s so funny what we noticed about this season of American Idol, if you&#39;re watching, is that there have been two different people. Hold on. Gavin: 5:23 I didn&#39;t even know American Idol was still on. I&#39;m just gonna leave put out that out there. Okay, please. David: 5:27 Yeah, they took a big well, because so it was the original American Idol with like Paula and Randy and Simon, and then it went off the air for a while, and then it kind of came back in this new version. And the new version had Katy Perry, um, Lionel Richie, and Luke Bryan as the hosts, and they are fucking amazing. Anyway, the show is the show, whatever. But two people have come in, two separate people who were adopted. And you know, they always do those like packages of their you know, sad story or whatever. Sure. And both of these people came on. They were like, I have an amazing family. I love my adoptive family, but I&#39;ve always been curious about where I&#39;m from. And both times American Idol surprised them with their birth parents or like their birth mom or whatever. Shit, really. And it was like this wonderful, glorious rep like reunion of like, hey, oh my God, my my and and one time somebody goes, My real mom is here. And all I could think about were these poor people&#39;s moms who raised them hearing that, yeah, hearing the excitement of reuniting you and how fucking awful that must feel. These are not people who are having a bad life and who are missing a good life. These are people who have been raised in really great families. They love their families, they&#39;re cheering them on. But something about their birth family, and I don&#39;t have listen, I&#39;m not adopted. My husband&#39;s has siblings who are adopted, so there&#39;s a little bit of closeness there, but my kids are via surgacy. I don&#39;t know how this feels, but it felt fucking awful to watch. Yeah, that feels dirty. Gavin: 6:59 I mean, and your show, but did I what I need to know is did the adoptive family also get some airtime, or was it just about their real family? David: 7:10 No, the adoptive family were the ones who were there. Like, you know, they have people on the outside of the room waiting to see if they get their whatever. So they&#39;re there, they&#39;re in the B-roll, they&#39;re in the package, they&#39;re in all of that stuff. But they talk about like wanting to know my birth mom, which I get. Like I get your like, where do I come from, whatever? But the idea of saying my real mom and also the weirdness it must feel to be the the the adoptive parent. I don&#39;t know. I mean maybe this is maybe I&#39;m overthinking this, but it was really weird to watch twice on America. Gavin: 7:39 I mean, talk about early 80s and needing to poop. This definitely reminds me of what a transition. I can&#39;t wait. Afternoon um syndicated talk shows that so much of that was about, you know, like makeovers and real families and birth parents. And I feel like that is definitely an element of my childhood that is it&#39;s it&#39;s like television, what do I want to say? It&#39;s like trauma porn, but not trauma porn. It&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know, sensationalist porn that you just think uh this is you can&#39;t turn away from it, but you really wish you would. David: 8:11 So is that searchable term on Pornhub? Because I tend to go for very, very, very different, very different things. Uh if if you are adopted or come from an adoptive family or have adopted kids, I would be really curious to know if you watch American Idol and saw this, what your reaction is. So please email us gateriarchspodcast at gmail.com. We&#39;re really curious. I&#39;m really curious. Gabin doesn&#39;t give a fuck. Gavin: 8:36 But what I do give a fuck about is what&#39;s in the gay news today. Well, there&#39;s only one bit of gay news that I have to share here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, which is Beyoncé covering Dolly. Oh my god. Now my God. I know everybody listening to this already knows, but let&#39;s have a moment because that is fucking cool. And there&#39;s so much discussion, obviously, around Beyonce and her so-called country album, but as she says, it&#39;s not a country album, it&#39;s a Beyonce album. But how fucking cool. Two queens. I mean unabashed queens. David: 9:10 The supernova that this gayness is creating is going to just it&#39;s going to set the planetary orbits off in a totally different direction. There&#39;s so much gayness here. Yeah. And for better. But like also what I love about it, beyond like two gay icons, two gay queens, two whatever, what I love about it is a newer, I mean, Beyonce is a little older, but like a newer artist throwing respect and love towards an older artist who is not in her genre. I fucking love that shit. Yeah. Gavin: 9:38 Also, uh yeah, I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s pretty awesome. And I mean, I wonder how many people have reached out to Dolly to be like, can we cover your music? And of course, there&#39;s Dolly covers all over the place. I mean, come on, Whitney Houston, and I&#39;m sure a million others, and I&#39;m just showing my lack of gay card where I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know how many other people have covered her stuff. Maybe Dolly&#39;s an open book and everybody covers her, but this is just this is another level. It&#39;s badass. So frankly, it&#39;s incredible. Plain and simple. That&#39;s the gay news is Beyonce and Dolly. So amazing. That&#39;s good gay news. I have uh what would you do? David: 10:09 Wait, for everyone who is curious, I found the 2021 London cast recording of this. I will play for you what it&#39;s supposed to sound like. Ready? SPEAKER_00: 10:24 What would you do? Gavin: 10:28 Nice, but I&#39;m still I I I take your note and I discard it, and I&#39;m just making what would you do? My own. Yours is better. Here&#39;s a s scenario. You&#39;ve got slightly older kids, let&#39;s say, you know, between 10 and 12. Okay. You&#39;re having a little discussion, and um, one kid asks another kid, oh, do you do XYZ? And the kid says, No, that&#39;s gay. What would you do? David: 10:56 No, I need you to sing it before I answer that question. Gavin: 11:00 What would you do? David: 11:03 Now you&#39;re just now you&#39;re just switching up the intervals to piss me off. Um this is a really great what would you do? Because we, you and I for sure grew up in this time period. Hell yeah. But it&#39;s still, it&#39;s still I have said this. I have said this a million times. And so I think what I would do is not treat it as this vicious mean thing to the sayer, but I would correct it. I think I would go, do you mean that&#39;s stupid? Because you know, gay and stupid are different. I would I would try to slightly separate the two. I wouldn&#39;t, I don&#39;t think go into like this is hurtful and gape it. Like, I don&#39;t, I just I don&#39;t know if they want to hear that, right? It&#39;s all at that age, you want to be dangerous, you want to be edgy. I would just say, do you mean stupid or do you mean attracted to men? And maybe embarrass them a little bit, and then I would leave it. Yeah. Gavin: 11:54 This all um okay, so obviously I&#39;m setting you up for something that actually happened to me recently, and I think it um resolved itself quite well, but it also reminds me of the time that I was sitting in college orientation. So in you know, 1961, and we had to watch a video that was essentially a DEI video that hey, welcome to college. You&#39;re gonna and you&#39;re gonna be introduced to people of all different stripes, right? So I don&#39;t remember anything about the video, but obviously it was about diversity of all kinds, right? And um, including queer people. And afterwards the video goes off, and the moderator says, Okay, so what did everybody think of the video? And the girl next to me goes, I don&#39;t know. I mean, I thought it was kind of gay. And I was like, Jesus, what did she just say? She was from California. I guess it was a thing, right? I did laugh at her and like we joked about, I guess I called her out and she we laughed about it. But anyway, this happened to me recently, obviously. Uh, one of my kids asked uh friend who was over, are you uh do you do a certain activity? And the and the kid said, nah, that&#39;s kind of gay. I was upstairs, but I heard it, and I was on that shit like stuff on shit. And I said, Oh, uh sorry, what did I just did I just hear you say that you thought I was kind of gay? And do did did you mean that you think it&#39;s kind of stupid? Now listen, even I sound passive aggressive in even retelling the story, but I think it was a great moment in me being like, whoa, do you mean kind of stupid, just like you said? Because we&#39;re I&#39;m gay and I don&#39;t think I&#39;m stupid, and you know, we&#39;re a house that has gay people in it, so I I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s the parallel you want to make, but I hear what you&#39;re saying. Right away, the kid was like, Oh yeah, sorry. And I moved on, but then I thought, what do I do about the parents? Um, because I do feel like one, I kind of I wanted to address it, you know, and in a very nice way, I really like the parents. Um, I was able to say, hey, just want to make you aware of something that happened here. And I gave just strictly the facts. This happened, I said this, just letting you know. And uh the parent was uh wonderfully mortified and also was quick to say that would not go in my household. And um, I we do nothing but have love, especially for people who have chosen to pursue joy and their true selves in their lives. And that she took it a step beyond what I was necessarily expecting it. And I don&#39;t fault the parents, but I&#39;m glad we were able to have that text exchange. And um, you know, we&#39;ll hope that the kid learns something. David: 14:26 Yeah, I don&#39;t think I don&#39;t think I would have reached out to the parents, but I I don&#39;t think it&#39;s bad that you did. But I definitely think the little nudge you made to the kid is so valuable because I think about...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin punishes his kid for being sick, David is weirded out by American Idol, Gavin thinks everything is &#34;gay,&#34; and we are joined by TikTok&apos;er Owen Squires who schools us on gentle parenting, pandemic stay-at-home Dad&apos;ing, an]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin punishes his kid for being sick, David is weirded out by American Idol, Gavin thinks everything is &#34;gay,&#34; and we are joined by TikTok&apos;er Owen Squires who schools us on gentle parenting, pandemic stay-at-home Dad&apos;ing, and why he doesn&apos;t have more tank top videos. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Is yours funny? Gavin: 0:03 Uh hold on. I don&#39;t even remember what I wrote. What did I write? Why&#39;d I keep all this shit? Gavin books on Sick. Yeah, it&#39;s all right. Is it ever funny? I don&#39;t know. David: 0:15 Yeah, I mean that you&#39;re you kind of got a point there. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:33 So we had a good track record in terms of sickness this year. Um, really good track record. In fact, I definitely just fucked that over and jinxed it, didn&#39;t I? We&#39;re gonna be out with pneumonia for the next few months. David: 0:44 But anyway, you&#39;re gonna get scurvy in a week. Gavin: 0:47 My kid was home from school uh for two days in a row um because of fever. And uh it wasn&#39;t that big a deal, luckily, but it was it was questionable. I mean, it wasn&#39;t really a high fever. In fact, I verified with our principal, you know what is technically the temperature you&#39;re hope is supposed to keep your kid home at? David: 1:07 Ours at daycare is 100.9. Gavin: 1:09 You know, I was being reactionary. It was like 98.9, and we&#39;re like, oh God, it&#39;s a fever, which is dumb. It&#39;s like I&#39;ve lost my spidey instincts, right? So anyway, we kept him home at far too low a temperature. And he was fine, but I&#39;m but it was definitely like, okay, if you&#39;re gonna stay home, it&#39;s not gonna be fun. And so uh anticipating that we were gonna have a second day, I pulled out a whole bunch of shit that I&#39;ve kept for like those sick days, being like, oh, here&#39;s some books from my childhood that you&#39;ll find really interesting. David: 1:40 Here&#39;s some puzzles. You&#39;re talking about like the Torah, like the original Torah. Got it. Gavin: 1:46 Correct. Correct. And um, and some puzzles and some like activities for a rainy day that I hold on to, but in particular, shit that I held on to from my own childhood, which I thought at one point was gonna be uh like, oh, this will be so cool. The only time my kids will ever think that&#39;s cool is maybe when I&#39;m dead, and they find it and they go, Oh, that&#39;s kind of cool, and they throw it away. I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just my instincts. I&#39;m not a hoarder, but I am nostalgic. And I I don&#39;t know, I&#39;m nerdy and interested in history. And I thought that my kids would be remotely. No. David: 2:28 No, it&#39;s gonna be it&#39;ll the only time that&#39;ll, like you said, it&#39;ll be right after your funeral. They&#39;ll go home, you know, you serve food to all your friends, they all say, I&#39;m so sorry for your loss. They all leave the house and then you go through dad&#39;s old stuff. Then they will find it slightly interesting, but it&#39;s still going in the garbage. Gavin: 2:44 Yeah, it&#39;s going in the garbage, but I mean, uh like yeah, so I just was left there thinking, why did I keep all this shit? David: 2:54 Like uh, yeah, I uh I feel like our generation feels the same way about our parents who were really into keeping furniture. Like furniture was something you would pass down to your kids, like, oh, it&#39;s the it&#39;s grandma&#39;s china cabinet. And I know all of us in our or my generation, not your generation, um, but all of us in our generation are are very much like unattached to furniture. So they were so proud to hand down this thing that they thought was meaningful. Yeah, and then we look at them like they&#39;re pieces of shit, we throw it in the dumpster, and that&#39;s probably really hurtful, but it&#39;s true, like culturally, like I don&#39;t give a shit about a curio cabinet. Yeah, but to them it was super important. Gavin: 3:29 And uh, there are a lot of toys that I did keep. I mean, my like I said, my mom kept everything. David: 3:35 We&#39;ve we&#39;ve discussed that, and um but a lot of my old toys, like for those of you who didn&#39;t listen to that episode, we&#39;re talking about the tip of Gaben&#39;s penis, his mom kept his foreskin from his circumcision. Check whatever episode that was to go back to that. Gavin: 3:52 Just Google it. I&#39;m sure our SEO is spectacular right now, it&#39;ll be easy to find. So, you know that um the telephone that you pulled from the early 80s with and the little eyes went back and forth. I had one of those originals, and now you know, of course, Fisher Price remakes the new ones, and I&#39;m like, ha ha! I got you, corporate America. I have mine from 1983. And um, and I mean, certain things like that worked when they were kids with little toddlers, they didn&#39;t know the difference. So I I do feel like I totally screwed over corporate, the like the toy um uh industrial complex. David: 4:26 But you know what I miss about books of that time period is books back then, when you would smell them, they&#39;d make you have to poop right away. Do you know what I mean? That smell of like raw wood book. Like books now, they&#39;re like plastic covered and whatever. Those old books, man, just one big whiff, you&#39;re in the toilet. Gavin: 4:43 Excuse me, I gotta, I&#39;ll be right back. David: 4:46 Um, speaking of toilet and garbage, um, not not terrible transition. This has nothing to do with that. Um, I get about 45 minutes of television a day. And that&#39;s from when my oldest goes to bed until where I&#39;m ready to go to bed around 9:15. Right. So we tend to watch like throwaway shows like Survivor and Amazing Race and American Idol and stuff that like it&#39;s enjoyable enough, but I&#39;m really just scrolling on my phone. Gavin: 5:08 You&#39;re so disconnected from actual quality American TV. David: 5:11 Which is hilarious because I work in television, I create television, and I just don&#39;t have time to watch it. Right. But what&#39;s so funny what we noticed about this season of American Idol, if you&#39;re watching, is that there have been two different people. Hold on. Gavin: 5:23 I didn&#39;t even know American Idol was still on. I&#39;m just gonna leave put out that out there. Okay, please. David: 5:27 Yeah, they took a big well, because so it was the original American Idol with like Paula and Randy and Simon, and then it went off the air for a while, and then it kind of came back in this new version. And the new version had Katy Perry, um, Lionel Richie, and Luke Bryan as the hosts, and they are fucking amazing. Anyway, the show is the show, whatever. But two people have come in, two separate people who were adopted. And you know, they always do those like packages of their you know, sad story or whatever. Sure. And both of these people came on. They were like, I have an amazing family. I love my adoptive family, but I&#39;ve always been curious about where I&#39;m from. And both times American Idol surprised them with their birth parents or like their birth mom or whatever. Shit, really. And it was like this wonderful, glorious rep like reunion of like, hey, oh my God, my my and and one time somebody goes, My real mom is here. And all I could think about were these poor people&#39;s moms who raised them hearing that, yeah, hearing the excitement of reuniting you and how fucking awful that must feel. These are not people who are having a bad life and who are missing a good life. These are people who have been raised in really great families. They love their families, they&#39;re cheering them on. But something about their birth family, and I don&#39;t have listen, I&#39;m not adopted. My husband&#39;s has siblings who are adopted, so there&#39;s a little bit of closeness there, but my kids are via surgacy. I don&#39;t know how this feels, but it felt fucking awful to watch. Yeah, that feels dirty. Gavin: 6:59 I mean, and your show, but did I what I need to know is did the adoptive family also get some airtime, or was it just about their real family? David: 7:10 No, the adoptive family were the ones who were there. Like, you know, they have people on the outside of the room waiting to see if they get their whatever. So they&#39;re there, they&#39;re in the B-roll, they&#39;re in the package, they&#39;re in all of that stuff. But they talk about like wanting to know my birth mom, which I get. Like I get your like, where do I come from, whatever? But the idea of saying my real mom and also the weirdness it must feel to be the the the adoptive parent. I don&#39;t know. I mean maybe this is maybe I&#39;m overthinking this, but it was really weird to watch twice on America. Gavin: 7:39 I mean, talk about early 80s and needing to poop. This definitely reminds me of what a transition. I can&#39;t wait. Afternoon um syndicated talk shows that so much of that was about, you know, like makeovers and real families and birth parents. And I feel like that is definitely an element of my childhood that is it&#39;s it&#39;s like television, what do I want to say? It&#39;s like trauma porn, but not trauma porn. It&#39;s like, I don&#39;t know, sensationalist porn that you just think uh this is you can&#39;t turn away from it, but you really wish you would. David: 8:11 So is that searchable term on Pornhub? Because I tend to go for very, very, very different, very different things. Uh if if you are adopted or come from an adoptive family or have adopted kids, I would be really curious to know if you watch American Idol and saw this, what your reaction is. So please email us gateriarchspodcast at gmail.com. We&#39;re really curious. I&#39;m really curious. Gabin doesn&#39;t give a fuck. Gavin: 8:36 But what I do give a fuck about is what&#39;s in the gay news today. Well, there&#39;s only one bit of gay news that I have to share here at America&#39;s Finest News Source, which is Beyoncé covering Dolly. Oh my god. Now my God. I know everybody listening to this already knows, but let&#39;s have a moment because that is fucking cool. And there&#39;s so much discussion, obviously, around Beyonce and her so-called country album, but as she says, it&#39;s not a country album, it&#39;s a Beyonce album. But how fucking cool. Two queens. I mean unabashed queens. David: 9:10 The supernova that this gayness is creating is going to just it&#39;s going to set the planetary orbits off in a totally different direction. There&#39;s so much gayness here. Yeah. And for better. But like also what I love about it, beyond like two gay icons, two gay queens, two whatever, what I love about it is a newer, I mean, Beyonce is a little older, but like a newer artist throwing respect and love towards an older artist who is not in her genre. I fucking love that shit. Yeah. Gavin: 9:38 Also, uh yeah, I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s pretty awesome. And I mean, I wonder how many people have reached out to Dolly to be like, can we cover your music? And of course, there&#39;s Dolly covers all over the place. I mean, come on, Whitney Houston, and I&#39;m sure a million others, and I&#39;m just showing my lack of gay card where I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know how many other people have covered her stuff. Maybe Dolly&#39;s an open book and everybody covers her, but this is just this is another level. It&#39;s badass. So frankly, it&#39;s incredible. Plain and simple. That&#39;s the gay news is Beyonce and Dolly. So amazing. That&#39;s good gay news. I have uh what would you do? David: 10:09 Wait, for everyone who is curious, I found the 2021 London cast recording of this. I will play for you what it&#39;s supposed to sound like. Ready? SPEAKER_00: 10:24 What would you do? Gavin: 10:28 Nice, but I&#39;m still I I I take your note and I discard it, and I&#39;m just making what would you do? My own. Yours is better. Here&#39;s a s scenario. You&#39;ve got slightly older kids, let&#39;s say, you know, between 10 and 12. Okay. You&#39;re having a little discussion, and um, one kid asks another kid, oh, do you do XYZ? And the kid says, No, that&#39;s gay. What would you do? David: 10:56 No, I need you to sing it before I answer that question. Gavin: 11:00 What would you do? David: 11:03 Now you&#39;re just now you&#39;re just switching up the intervals to piss me off. Um this is a really great what would you do? Because we, you and I for sure grew up in this time period. Hell yeah. But it&#39;s still, it&#39;s still I have said this. I have said this a million times. And so I think what I would do is not treat it as this vicious mean thing to the sayer, but I would correct it. I think I would go, do you mean that&#39;s stupid? Because you know, gay and stupid are different. I would I would try to slightly separate the two. I wouldn&#39;t, I don&#39;t think go into like this is hurtful and gape it. Like, I don&#39;t, I just I don&#39;t know if they want to hear that, right? It&#39;s all at that age, you want to be dangerous, you want to be edgy. I would just say, do you mean stupid or do you mean attracted to men? And maybe embarrass them a little bit, and then I would leave it. Yeah. Gavin: 11:54 This all um okay, so obviously I&#39;m setting you up for something that actually happened to me recently, and I think it um resolved itself quite well, but it also reminds me of the time that I was sitting in college orientation. So in you know, 1961, and we had to watch a video that was essentially a DEI video that hey, welcome to college. You&#39;re gonna and you&#39;re gonna be introduced to people of all different stripes, right? So I don&#39;t remember anything about the video, but obviously it was about diversity of all kinds, right? And um, including queer people. And afterwards the video goes off, and the moderator says, Okay, so what did everybody think of the video? And the girl next to me goes, I don&#39;t know. I mean, I thought it was kind of gay. And I was like, Jesus, what did she just say? She was from California. I guess it was a thing, right? I did laugh at her and like we joked about, I guess I called her out and she we laughed about it. But anyway, this happened to me recently, obviously. Uh, one of my kids asked uh friend who was over, are you uh do you do a certain activity? And the and the kid said, nah, that&#39;s kind of gay. I was upstairs, but I heard it, and I was on that shit like stuff on shit. And I said, Oh, uh sorry, what did I just did I just hear you say that you thought I was kind of gay? And do did did you mean that you think it&#39;s kind of stupid? Now listen, even I sound passive aggressive in even retelling the story, but I think it was a great moment in me being like, whoa, do you mean kind of stupid, just like you said? Because we&#39;re I&#39;m gay and I don&#39;t think I&#39;m stupid, and you know, we&#39;re a house that has gay people in it, so I I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s the parallel you want to make, but I hear what you&#39;re saying. Right away, the kid was like, Oh yeah, sorry. And I moved on, but then I thought, what do I do about the parents? Um, because I do feel like one, I kind of I wanted to address it, you know, and in a very nice way, I really like the parents. Um, I was able to say, hey, just want to make you aware of something that happened here. And I gave just strictly the facts. This happened, I said this, just letting you know. And uh the parent was uh wonderfully mortified and also was quick to say that would not go in my household. And um, I we do nothing but have love, especially for people who have chosen to pursue joy and their true selves in their lives. And that she took it a step beyond what I was necessarily expecting it. And I don&#39;t fault the parents, but I&#39;m glad we were able to have that text exchange. And um, you know, we&#39;ll hope that the kid learns something. David: 14:26 Yeah, I don&#39;t think I don&#39;t think I would have reached out to the parents, but I I don&#39;t think it&#39;s bad that you did. But I definitely think the little nudge you made to the kid is so valuable because I think about...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin punishes his kid for being sick, David is weirded out by American Idol, Gavin thinks everything is &#34;gay,&#34; and we are joined by TikTok&apos;er Owen Squires who schools us on gentle parenting, pandemic stay-at-home Dad&apos;ing, and why he doesn&apos;t have more tank top videos. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Is yours funny? Gavin: 0:03 Uh hold on. I don&#39;t even remember what I wrote. What did I write? Why&#39;d I keep all this shit? Gavin books on Sick. Yeah, it&#39;s all right. Is it ever funny? I don&#39;t know. David: 0:15 Yeah, I mean that you&#39;re you kind of got a point there. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:33 So we had a good track record in terms of sickness this year. Um, really good track record. In fact, I definitely just fucked that over and jinxed it, didn&#39;t I? We&#39;re gonna be out with pneumonia for the next few months. David: 0:44 But anyway, you&#39;re gonna get scurvy in a week. Gavin: 0:47 My kid was home from school uh for two days in a row um because of fever. And uh it wasn&#39;t that big a deal, luckily, but it was it was questionable. I mean, it wasn&#39;t really a high fever. In fact, I verified with our principal, you know what is technically the temperature you&#39;re hope is supposed to keep your kid home at? David: 1:07 Ours at daycare is 100.9. Gavin: 1:09 You know, I was being reactionary. It was like 98.9, and we&#39;re like, oh God, it&#39;s a fever, which is dumb. It&#39;s like I&#39;ve lost my spidey instincts, right? So anyway, we kept him home at far too low a temperature. And he was fine, but I&#39;m but it was definitely like, okay, if you&#39;re gonna stay home, it&#39;s not gonna be fun. And so uh anticipating that we were gonna have a second day, I pulled out a whole bunch of shit that I&#39;ve kept for like those sick days, being like, oh, here&#39;s some books from my childhood that you&#39;ll find really interesting. David: 1:40 Here&#39;s some puzzles. You&#39;re talking about like the Torah, like the original Torah. Got it. Gavin: 1:46 Correct. Correct. And um, and some puzzles and some like activities for a rainy day that I hold on to, but in particular, shit that I held on to from my own childhood, which I thought at one point was gonna be uh like, oh, this will be so cool. The only time my kids will ever think that&#39;s cool is maybe when I&#39;m dead, and they find it and they go, Oh, that&#39;s kind of cool, and they throw it away. I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s just my instincts. I&#39;m not a hoarder, but I am nostalgic. And I I don&#39;t know, I&#39;m nerdy and interested in history. And I thought that my kids would be remotely. No. David: 2:28 No, it&#39;s gonna be it&#39;ll the only time that&#39;ll, like you said, it&#39;ll be right after your funeral. They&#39;ll go home, you know, you serve food to all your friends, they all say, I&#39;m so sorry for your loss. They all leave the house and then you go through dad&#39;s old stuff. Then they will find it slightly interesting, but it&#39;s still going in the garbage. Gavin: 2:44 Yeah, it&#39;s going in the garbage, but I mean, uh like yeah, so I just was left there thinking, why did I keep all this shit? David: 2:54 Like uh, yeah, I uh I feel like our generation feels the same way about our parents who were really into keeping furniture. Like furniture was something you would pass down to your kids, like, oh, it&#39;s the it&#39;s grandma&#39;s china cabinet. And I know all of us in our or my generation, not your generation, um, but all of us in our generation are are very much like unattached to furniture. So they were so proud to hand down this thing that they thought was meaningful. Yeah, and then we look at them like they&#39;re pieces of shit, we throw it in the dumpster, and that&#39;s probably really hurtfu]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin punishes his kid for being sick, David is weirded out by American Idol, Gavin thinks everything is &#34;gay,&#34; and we are joined by TikTok&apos;er Owen Squires who schools us on gentle parenting, pandemic stay-at-home Dad&apos;ing, and why he doesn&apos;t have more tank top videos. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Is yours funny? Gavin: 0:03 Uh hold on. I don&#39;t even remember what I wrote. What did I write? Why&#39;d I keep all this shit? Gavin books on Sick. Yeah, it&#39;s all right. Is it ever funny? I don&#39;t know. David: 0:15 Yeah, I mean that you&#39;re you kind of got a point there. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:33 So we had a good track record in terms of sickness this year. Um, really good track record. In fact, I definitely just fucked that over and jinxed it, didn&#39;t I? We&#]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with surrogate Shelly Marsh</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-surrogate-shelly-marsh/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We&apos;re back! And Gavin still can&apos;t get through an episode without messing up. We talk about why David looks tired, and what weird messed up thing his kid whispered in his ear, we tackle the top three most embarrassing moments of our childhood, and this week we are joined by Shelly Marsh aka surrogacy royalty, who talks us through her 4, count them FOUR surrogacy journeys, why they all weren&apos;t great, and what inspired her to create two companies to help and support and protect future surrogates and IP&apos;s.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is my week and the topic was is I hate myself. David: 0:08 But enough to change? Do you hate yourself enough to change is the question. Gavin: 0:11 What is my problem? What is my problem? Undiagnosed. And this is catriorx. David: 0:30 Good morning. Hi. Gavin: 0:34 You sound happy, actually. David: 0:38 Uh, don&#39;t appreciate the actually. I do feel happy. I don&#39;t know why. I don&#39;t know why I feel happy. It&#39;s a good day. But it&#39;s sad that you said it in a way where you&#39;re like, you don&#39;t normally sound happy. And you sound happy, and I am surprised. Gavin: 0:55 I know. Well, ain&#39;t that parenting, though? Like, you know, we&#39;re we&#39;re I appreciate that most of the time you and I, at least off-air, don&#39;t uh have a filter and we can kind of be like, man, I mean, and usually it comes down to parenting, right? We&#39;re exhausted, life is tough, but you sound particularly happy today, I think. Oh, okay. David: 1:14 Well, you don&#39;t look tired. Well, yeah, and I was about to say, like, do not say that to anybody. Why do people say that to you? Like people like, like, no, literally, like the woman at McDonald&#39;s will just be like, oh, you look tired. I was like, what the fuck? I will give me my fucking Big Mac. What do you think about? Gavin: 1:30 Somebody did not read Chicken Soup for the Soul um in uh 1996, where you&#39;re never supposed to tell people they look tired or sick, ever, ever, ever. Just don&#39;t say it, right? Don&#39;t ever say it. David: 1:40 So so for the young listeners, Chicken Soup for the Soul was a whole book series that were very popular in the late 90s for like Midwestern white people. And um, it was kind of a it had a it had a moment. It had a moment. Gavin: 1:51 It had a it definitely had a like a bestseller moment for sure. But there are those life lessons. I mean, I suppose I cannot wait for the gay triarchs. Oh, here&#39;s a business idea. Just get on that, just make it happen. A business idea for like, here&#39;s the advice. Here&#39;s the advice for just like being a gay triarch. And one of them is don&#39;t ever ask anybody if you&#39;re tired or um uh sick, which reminds me that I was um, I don&#39;t know if we&#39;ll get into this later or not, but I um had to make an ER run, which I suppose I can&#39;t say that without actually explaining it, right? Whoa, yeah. Long story short, actually, it wasn&#39;t very dramatic, but my son, the soccer player, broke his foot this weekend. Yeah. Oh my god. A teensy fracture. He&#39;s gonna be rubber, he&#39;ll bounce back, undoubtedly. The doctor, and the thing is, we were doing a campout, which is another thing to like unpack there. But it happened on Friday night, and I was like, dude, we need to go home. And he said, No, no, no, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go. And it&#39;s looked like he rolled his ankle a little bit and he was kind of hobbling around, but he wasn&#39;t, you know, he he wasn&#39;t complaining and he didn&#39;t want to leave. So I was like, uh, I guess we&#39;ll stay. I mean, shh, it&#39;s is CPS gonna be called in Sivor, Connecticut? I don&#39;t think so. And um, then long story short. Is that why you live there to avoid CPS? So when we did finally make it to the ER, uh the doctor did say, before taking an x-ray, he said, you know, listen, uh he&#39;s having fun. If you roll an ankle in the middle of the jungle, you&#39;re not just gonna lay down and die. You keep going. He&#39;s like, you didn&#39;t do anything wrong. I mean, maybe you broke, you caused the healing process to be another couple days longer. But listen, like, live your life in the forest running around. It&#39;s a good reason to twist your ankle. He goes and does the x-ray, comes back, and he&#39;s like, Well, looks like you broke something. But I stand by what I said, you didn&#39;t do anything wrong. And he&#39;s in a boot, not a cast, for probably three weeks, which sucks, but honestly, it could be worse. Anyway, uh we&#39;re sitting with the nurse as we&#39;re, you know, being um uh what not discharged, but uh registered. And she&#39;s like, So what happened? And I&#39;m like, please don&#39;t, please don&#39;t call child protective services on me. She asked my son, and he says, Well, I was running through the forest and I um I was doing a camp out, and I jumped over a log and I twisted my ankle. And the woman says, Oh, you were doing a camp out, huh? And she turns to me and goes, So that&#39;s why daddy looks so tired. David: 4:16 I was like, fucking you are you kidding me? Like, what like what benefit do they think they are giving us? Like, maybe I could understand, like, are you tired? Ergo, can I help you get sleep? But you look tired. What is even worse? What is the ending of that? Gavin: 4:34 Other than I feel like she It was even worse. So that&#39;s why Daddy looks so tired. And I did. I&#39;d be to be fair, I did look really tired. I slept on the ground two nights in a row. David: 4:44 Come on, but like I would never say that to another person. I cannot believe people say, but you know what um people do say to me, like my son. Um, so at night, when I&#39;m putting him to bed, we did this whole game, this bedtime math we talked about with Derek Cahill a long time ago, where I have to put him in bed, I tuck him in, we do all these things, and then he has to ask a question. He always asks a question. It&#39;s always something stupid. It&#39;s always something like, What are planes? I&#39;m like, you know what a fucking plane is, but it&#39;s just what we do. So the other night, I lean in, I say, love you, honey. He goes, Wait, wait, I have a question. I said, What&#39;s your question? He goes, How do you kill a dog? And and I started locking my bedroom door at night and turning on the camera. I was like, what? And and so not only am I dealing with the trauma of like, oh, I&#39;m raising a sociopath who may murder people, but also I&#39;m like, how do I respond so he doesn&#39;t pick up on, oh my God, I&#39;m shocked. So I was like, oh, well, you know, we don&#39;t really want to do that or whatever. And of course I run downstairs. I was like to my husband, I&#39;m like, listen to what this fucking psychopath just said. Oh my God. So that&#39;s a little haunting to hear in the middle of the night. Gavin: 5:57 That&#39;s amazing, though. I do wish you had just gone with it though. Uh, you definitely did not yes and your son in that moment. I mean, you should have done a well, it depends. If you&#39;re near a body of water, wow, it depends. Wow, cool. If your house is already on fire, well, it depends. Wow. David: 6:15 If you if you have a bunch of chocolate you want to give them. It just depends. Um, that&#39;s pretty fucked up. Anyway. Gavin: 6:21 I wanted to kill our dog uh earlier last week when um she always sleeps on my daughter&#39;s uh bed. And I don&#39;t know, a few nights ago, she um not only was sick once, but she was sick twice. She but she meaning the dog, who then apparently stood up, didn&#39;t jump off the bed, barfed over the side of the bed, having it run down not only the uh the bed, the the uh duvet cover, the floor, and of course the pile of clothes that my daughter had not picked up. Apparently, then she she, the dog, turned around, went back to sleep, woke up, did it again on another side. So, like nine a 90-degree corner of my uh daughter&#39;s bed was just covered in dog puke. And we didn&#39;t even listen to it. David: 7:03 I I wanna I want to just like tell anybody who&#39;s just starting to listen to the show now. We don&#39;t normally start every show off with a bunch of CPS and killing dog stories, but here we are. Why don&#39;t we move into something a little lighter? What&#39;s in the news, Gavin? Gavin: 7:16 Oh, in the news. So something a little lighter is now uh we&#39;re definitely gonna date ourselves here because I&#39;m talking about congressional stuff because you know I love talking congressional shit. And um, there&#39;s a big omnibus, or actually, I guess they&#39;re calling about a minibus um uh spending package that is yet another one of those. They have to vote it through by midnight or the government shuts down, kind of thing. And you know, honestly, an awful lot of the very positive things that Democrats are trying to go for um are being passed. But uh Mike Johnson, in his never-ending attempt to suck the dicks of the super, super conservative minority, um, has wedged into that uh bill a compromise that says, but uh you&#39;re we&#39;re gonna give the Democrats everything they&#39;re asking for, basically, to keep the government going, but we&#39;re gonna not allow pride flags to be flown over embassies overseas. I mean, part of me wants to be like, okay, whatever. What the fuck ever. And also then part of me wants to be like, fuck you in this bullshit, you know? David: 8:18 I will burn this fucking country to the ground, you piece of shit. What a piece of fucking shit. Gavin: 8:23 It&#39;s it&#39;s and who knows, by the time this airs, maybe that&#39;ll be um extricated. Maybe it&#39;ll be the we&#39;re but we&#39;re shining the light on this bullshit for sure. So I&#39;m sure we&#39;ll be part of getting it out of there. David: 8:34 Well, let&#39;s be a little more helpful to our listener, shall we? Let&#39;s do a dad hack of the week, shall we? I realized this when I was in Target and we were buying a gift for another kid&#39;s birthday, which is always a terrible thing because all they do is see toys that they want to have. Yeah. And so what I learned is you say put it on their birthday list. Because somehow they think they&#39;re getting it, but they don&#39;t need it right now. And they&#39;re not gonna fucking get it. I&#39;m not getting you the Paw Patrol Aquaps Chase underwater vehicle. Gavin: 9:06 You will have grown out of it by the time your birthday comes around. Yes. David: 9:09 You will have grown out of it, and also like if I got you all the things on your list. But anyway, for some because when I usually say, like, oh, sorry, you can&#39;t have that, or we don&#39;t need to get anything, tears, kicking, screaming, whatever. But when I say, Oh yeah, put it on the birthday list, they just put it back and they&#39;re so happy. So lie to your children, is what I&#39;m saying is the dad hack of the week. Gavin: 9:28 So I have something to bring back to the table. David: 9:31 Okay. Gavin: 9:31 What would you do? Oh God. Jesus. David: 9:35 Gavin was in like nine Broadway shows, people, and that&#39;s what he sounds like. Gavin: 9:40 So this was actually brought to me by one of our main uh our our longtime listener, and he wanted to pose it to the Gatriarch speak. Okay. Hosting a sleepover with multiple participants, right? You know, parents are not gonna be sleeping. You just suck it up because you know that the the instantaneous pleasure from your children is uh supersedes any of the hell that&#39;s gonna be the next day with um lost sleep and crabby parents and crabby children, right? But there&#39;s one kid who screws up the entire sleepover for everybody, for everybody else, for the parents and for the kids. Furthermore, when the parents actually said, Hey, kid, I need you to tone it down. Stop jumping on my couch, stop throwing the pillows, stop terrorizing my dog, stop terrorizing the other kids, and also please don&#39;t eat, uh please don&#39;t take the food from the table like I asked you not to. Please don&#39;t walk around our house with you know a handful of popcorn. And the kid is like, you&#39;re not my dad, and just keeps doing whatever the fuck they want and really ruins the whole night. Do you say something to the parents or not? Now, of course we want our knee-jerk reaction is of course you need to say something, but like they&#39;re reactionary parents who don&#39;t take criticism well. Is it and this isn&#39;t your kid&#39;s best friend? The likelihood they&#39;ll never come back. Anyway, I&#39;ll stop making disclaimers. SPEAKER_00: 11:11 What would you do? David: 11:14 Oh god, art just died a little bit. Um, this is my point of view is from again, somebody who doesn&#39;t have sleepover age children. And yeah, and so, but I I my immediate thought was you have to tell the parents. And here&#39;s why because we can&#39;t stop ourselves from doing things like that, like saying, Hey, your kid&#39;s an asshole in fear of the kid&#39;s parents not taking it well. That&#39;s on them. If they want to not take it well, that that shouldn&#39;t inhibit us from saying something because that kid is not coming back to my house. And you probably want to know why. And I want it, and if my kid&#39;s being an asshole and somebody told me that, I would rather them tell me that and then me be mad at them for telling me that, but still I know it. But for me, I am hard line. Like if you are that disrespectful and the kids don&#39;t even like you and you jumped on my couch or whatever and farted in my pillows, I would for sure be like, hey, we had such a fun last night. Just so you know, your son is terrible and I don&#39;t want him at my house, knowing full well they&#39;ll react terribly and they may not, they may spin it a different way. But I think you have to because otherwise, you&#39;re just placating to the lowest common denominator. And as we know, when they go low, we go lower. Gavin: 12:30 Lower. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I think that&#39;s a I think that&#39;s good advice. It is really tough, though. It is really, really tough. Um, because, you know, big people, big feelings, big reactions, big emotions. And um, I wouldn&#39;t blame uh our listener out there, either way, whichever they decide. But hey, maybe we should have them on to let us know. Um I would love it if they do have a little altercation and what happens there. Because I know this listener ain&#39;t afraid of uh conflict, but it&#39;s a tough call. It is a tough call. David: 13:00 Anyway, speaking of going lower, why don&#39;t we do our top three list, shall we? Gavin: 13:03 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s top three was my list, and it is what are the three times you were the most embarrassed as a kid? Now, this definitely made me go down memory lane. And an awful lot of the time I had to think, wait, was I embarrassed or was I ashamed? And is this actually a really sad story, or can we keep it light? Uh, there&#39;s plenty of sad things, but let&#39;s do that on our sister uh podcast called called Gavin just talks about gratitude and shame the entire time. Anyway. Oh fuck, I didn&#39;t number them. Um hold on. David: 13:48 Guys, this is if you&#39;re our first time listener, this is as prepared as Gavin gets, period. Gavin: 13:54 As prepared as I get. Okay, number three, my third most embarrassing moment as a kid was the time that I called Tracy Rosencranz a pig in first grade because she took my paper away from me and she marched right up to our teacher and she said, Hey, Mrs. House gave and called me a pig. And Mrs. SPEAKER_00: 14:12 House grabbed my mouth like this and made me have fishy lifts and said, You don&#39;t call anybody a pig. What do you say to Tracy? And she turned my face towards Tracy and I went, Sorry. David: 14:27 I gotta give it to Miss House. She did the right thing. Gavin: 14:30 It was in front of the entire class, and it was mortifying. Wow. And as I go...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We&apos;re back! And Gavin still can&apos;t get through an episode without messing up. We talk about why David looks tired, and what weird messed up thing his kid whispered in his ear, we tackle the top three most embarrassing moments of our childhood, a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We&apos;re back! And Gavin still can&apos;t get through an episode without messing up. We talk about why David looks tired, and what weird messed up thing his kid whispered in his ear, we tackle the top three most embarrassing moments of our childhood, and this week we are joined by Shelly Marsh aka surrogacy royalty, who talks us through her 4, count them FOUR surrogacy journeys, why they all weren&apos;t great, and what inspired her to create two companies to help and support and protect future surrogates and IP&apos;s.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is my week and the topic was is I hate myself. David: 0:08 But enough to change? Do you hate yourself enough to change is the question. Gavin: 0:11 What is my problem? What is my problem? Undiagnosed. And this is catriorx. David: 0:30 Good morning. Hi. Gavin: 0:34 You sound happy, actually. David: 0:38 Uh, don&#39;t appreciate the actually. I do feel happy. I don&#39;t know why. I don&#39;t know why I feel happy. It&#39;s a good day. But it&#39;s sad that you said it in a way where you&#39;re like, you don&#39;t normally sound happy. And you sound happy, and I am surprised. Gavin: 0:55 I know. Well, ain&#39;t that parenting, though? Like, you know, we&#39;re we&#39;re I appreciate that most of the time you and I, at least off-air, don&#39;t uh have a filter and we can kind of be like, man, I mean, and usually it comes down to parenting, right? We&#39;re exhausted, life is tough, but you sound particularly happy today, I think. Oh, okay. David: 1:14 Well, you don&#39;t look tired. Well, yeah, and I was about to say, like, do not say that to anybody. Why do people say that to you? Like people like, like, no, literally, like the woman at McDonald&#39;s will just be like, oh, you look tired. I was like, what the fuck? I will give me my fucking Big Mac. What do you think about? Gavin: 1:30 Somebody did not read Chicken Soup for the Soul um in uh 1996, where you&#39;re never supposed to tell people they look tired or sick, ever, ever, ever. Just don&#39;t say it, right? Don&#39;t ever say it. David: 1:40 So so for the young listeners, Chicken Soup for the Soul was a whole book series that were very popular in the late 90s for like Midwestern white people. And um, it was kind of a it had a it had a moment. It had a moment. Gavin: 1:51 It had a it definitely had a like a bestseller moment for sure. But there are those life lessons. I mean, I suppose I cannot wait for the gay triarchs. Oh, here&#39;s a business idea. Just get on that, just make it happen. A business idea for like, here&#39;s the advice. Here&#39;s the advice for just like being a gay triarch. And one of them is don&#39;t ever ask anybody if you&#39;re tired or um uh sick, which reminds me that I was um, I don&#39;t know if we&#39;ll get into this later or not, but I um had to make an ER run, which I suppose I can&#39;t say that without actually explaining it, right? Whoa, yeah. Long story short, actually, it wasn&#39;t very dramatic, but my son, the soccer player, broke his foot this weekend. Yeah. Oh my god. A teensy fracture. He&#39;s gonna be rubber, he&#39;ll bounce back, undoubtedly. The doctor, and the thing is, we were doing a campout, which is another thing to like unpack there. But it happened on Friday night, and I was like, dude, we need to go home. And he said, No, no, no, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go. And it&#39;s looked like he rolled his ankle a little bit and he was kind of hobbling around, but he wasn&#39;t, you know, he he wasn&#39;t complaining and he didn&#39;t want to leave. So I was like, uh, I guess we&#39;ll stay. I mean, shh, it&#39;s is CPS gonna be called in Sivor, Connecticut? I don&#39;t think so. And um, then long story short. Is that why you live there to avoid CPS? So when we did finally make it to the ER, uh the doctor did say, before taking an x-ray, he said, you know, listen, uh he&#39;s having fun. If you roll an ankle in the middle of the jungle, you&#39;re not just gonna lay down and die. You keep going. He&#39;s like, you didn&#39;t do anything wrong. I mean, maybe you broke, you caused the healing process to be another couple days longer. But listen, like, live your life in the forest running around. It&#39;s a good reason to twist your ankle. He goes and does the x-ray, comes back, and he&#39;s like, Well, looks like you broke something. But I stand by what I said, you didn&#39;t do anything wrong. And he&#39;s in a boot, not a cast, for probably three weeks, which sucks, but honestly, it could be worse. Anyway, uh we&#39;re sitting with the nurse as we&#39;re, you know, being um uh what not discharged, but uh registered. And she&#39;s like, So what happened? And I&#39;m like, please don&#39;t, please don&#39;t call child protective services on me. She asked my son, and he says, Well, I was running through the forest and I um I was doing a camp out, and I jumped over a log and I twisted my ankle. And the woman says, Oh, you were doing a camp out, huh? And she turns to me and goes, So that&#39;s why daddy looks so tired. David: 4:16 I was like, fucking you are you kidding me? Like, what like what benefit do they think they are giving us? Like, maybe I could understand, like, are you tired? Ergo, can I help you get sleep? But you look tired. What is even worse? What is the ending of that? Gavin: 4:34 Other than I feel like she It was even worse. So that&#39;s why Daddy looks so tired. And I did. I&#39;d be to be fair, I did look really tired. I slept on the ground two nights in a row. David: 4:44 Come on, but like I would never say that to another person. I cannot believe people say, but you know what um people do say to me, like my son. Um, so at night, when I&#39;m putting him to bed, we did this whole game, this bedtime math we talked about with Derek Cahill a long time ago, where I have to put him in bed, I tuck him in, we do all these things, and then he has to ask a question. He always asks a question. It&#39;s always something stupid. It&#39;s always something like, What are planes? I&#39;m like, you know what a fucking plane is, but it&#39;s just what we do. So the other night, I lean in, I say, love you, honey. He goes, Wait, wait, I have a question. I said, What&#39;s your question? He goes, How do you kill a dog? And and I started locking my bedroom door at night and turning on the camera. I was like, what? And and so not only am I dealing with the trauma of like, oh, I&#39;m raising a sociopath who may murder people, but also I&#39;m like, how do I respond so he doesn&#39;t pick up on, oh my God, I&#39;m shocked. So I was like, oh, well, you know, we don&#39;t really want to do that or whatever. And of course I run downstairs. I was like to my husband, I&#39;m like, listen to what this fucking psychopath just said. Oh my God. So that&#39;s a little haunting to hear in the middle of the night. Gavin: 5:57 That&#39;s amazing, though. I do wish you had just gone with it though. Uh, you definitely did not yes and your son in that moment. I mean, you should have done a well, it depends. If you&#39;re near a body of water, wow, it depends. Wow, cool. If your house is already on fire, well, it depends. Wow. David: 6:15 If you if you have a bunch of chocolate you want to give them. It just depends. Um, that&#39;s pretty fucked up. Anyway. Gavin: 6:21 I wanted to kill our dog uh earlier last week when um she always sleeps on my daughter&#39;s uh bed. And I don&#39;t know, a few nights ago, she um not only was sick once, but she was sick twice. She but she meaning the dog, who then apparently stood up, didn&#39;t jump off the bed, barfed over the side of the bed, having it run down not only the uh the bed, the the uh duvet cover, the floor, and of course the pile of clothes that my daughter had not picked up. Apparently, then she she, the dog, turned around, went back to sleep, woke up, did it again on another side. So, like nine a 90-degree corner of my uh daughter&#39;s bed was just covered in dog puke. And we didn&#39;t even listen to it. David: 7:03 I I wanna I want to just like tell anybody who&#39;s just starting to listen to the show now. We don&#39;t normally start every show off with a bunch of CPS and killing dog stories, but here we are. Why don&#39;t we move into something a little lighter? What&#39;s in the news, Gavin? Gavin: 7:16 Oh, in the news. So something a little lighter is now uh we&#39;re definitely gonna date ourselves here because I&#39;m talking about congressional stuff because you know I love talking congressional shit. And um, there&#39;s a big omnibus, or actually, I guess they&#39;re calling about a minibus um uh spending package that is yet another one of those. They have to vote it through by midnight or the government shuts down, kind of thing. And you know, honestly, an awful lot of the very positive things that Democrats are trying to go for um are being passed. But uh Mike Johnson, in his never-ending attempt to suck the dicks of the super, super conservative minority, um, has wedged into that uh bill a compromise that says, but uh you&#39;re we&#39;re gonna give the Democrats everything they&#39;re asking for, basically, to keep the government going, but we&#39;re gonna not allow pride flags to be flown over embassies overseas. I mean, part of me wants to be like, okay, whatever. What the fuck ever. And also then part of me wants to be like, fuck you in this bullshit, you know? David: 8:18 I will burn this fucking country to the ground, you piece of shit. What a piece of fucking shit. Gavin: 8:23 It&#39;s it&#39;s and who knows, by the time this airs, maybe that&#39;ll be um extricated. Maybe it&#39;ll be the we&#39;re but we&#39;re shining the light on this bullshit for sure. So I&#39;m sure we&#39;ll be part of getting it out of there. David: 8:34 Well, let&#39;s be a little more helpful to our listener, shall we? Let&#39;s do a dad hack of the week, shall we? I realized this when I was in Target and we were buying a gift for another kid&#39;s birthday, which is always a terrible thing because all they do is see toys that they want to have. Yeah. And so what I learned is you say put it on their birthday list. Because somehow they think they&#39;re getting it, but they don&#39;t need it right now. And they&#39;re not gonna fucking get it. I&#39;m not getting you the Paw Patrol Aquaps Chase underwater vehicle. Gavin: 9:06 You will have grown out of it by the time your birthday comes around. Yes. David: 9:09 You will have grown out of it, and also like if I got you all the things on your list. But anyway, for some because when I usually say, like, oh, sorry, you can&#39;t have that, or we don&#39;t need to get anything, tears, kicking, screaming, whatever. But when I say, Oh yeah, put it on the birthday list, they just put it back and they&#39;re so happy. So lie to your children, is what I&#39;m saying is the dad hack of the week. Gavin: 9:28 So I have something to bring back to the table. David: 9:31 Okay. Gavin: 9:31 What would you do? Oh God. Jesus. David: 9:35 Gavin was in like nine Broadway shows, people, and that&#39;s what he sounds like. Gavin: 9:40 So this was actually brought to me by one of our main uh our our longtime listener, and he wanted to pose it to the Gatriarch speak. Okay. Hosting a sleepover with multiple participants, right? You know, parents are not gonna be sleeping. You just suck it up because you know that the the instantaneous pleasure from your children is uh supersedes any of the hell that&#39;s gonna be the next day with um lost sleep and crabby parents and crabby children, right? But there&#39;s one kid who screws up the entire sleepover for everybody, for everybody else, for the parents and for the kids. Furthermore, when the parents actually said, Hey, kid, I need you to tone it down. Stop jumping on my couch, stop throwing the pillows, stop terrorizing my dog, stop terrorizing the other kids, and also please don&#39;t eat, uh please don&#39;t take the food from the table like I asked you not to. Please don&#39;t walk around our house with you know a handful of popcorn. And the kid is like, you&#39;re not my dad, and just keeps doing whatever the fuck they want and really ruins the whole night. Do you say something to the parents or not? Now, of course we want our knee-jerk reaction is of course you need to say something, but like they&#39;re reactionary parents who don&#39;t take criticism well. Is it and this isn&#39;t your kid&#39;s best friend? The likelihood they&#39;ll never come back. Anyway, I&#39;ll stop making disclaimers. SPEAKER_00: 11:11 What would you do? David: 11:14 Oh god, art just died a little bit. Um, this is my point of view is from again, somebody who doesn&#39;t have sleepover age children. And yeah, and so, but I I my immediate thought was you have to tell the parents. And here&#39;s why because we can&#39;t stop ourselves from doing things like that, like saying, Hey, your kid&#39;s an asshole in fear of the kid&#39;s parents not taking it well. That&#39;s on them. If they want to not take it well, that that shouldn&#39;t inhibit us from saying something because that kid is not coming back to my house. And you probably want to know why. And I want it, and if my kid&#39;s being an asshole and somebody told me that, I would rather them tell me that and then me be mad at them for telling me that, but still I know it. But for me, I am hard line. Like if you are that disrespectful and the kids don&#39;t even like you and you jumped on my couch or whatever and farted in my pillows, I would for sure be like, hey, we had such a fun last night. Just so you know, your son is terrible and I don&#39;t want him at my house, knowing full well they&#39;ll react terribly and they may not, they may spin it a different way. But I think you have to because otherwise, you&#39;re just placating to the lowest common denominator. And as we know, when they go low, we go lower. Gavin: 12:30 Lower. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I think that&#39;s a I think that&#39;s good advice. It is really tough, though. It is really, really tough. Um, because, you know, big people, big feelings, big reactions, big emotions. And um, I wouldn&#39;t blame uh our listener out there, either way, whichever they decide. But hey, maybe we should have them on to let us know. Um I would love it if they do have a little altercation and what happens there. Because I know this listener ain&#39;t afraid of uh conflict, but it&#39;s a tough call. It is a tough call. David: 13:00 Anyway, speaking of going lower, why don&#39;t we do our top three list, shall we? Gavin: 13:03 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s top three was my list, and it is what are the three times you were the most embarrassed as a kid? Now, this definitely made me go down memory lane. And an awful lot of the time I had to think, wait, was I embarrassed or was I ashamed? And is this actually a really sad story, or can we keep it light? Uh, there&#39;s plenty of sad things, but let&#39;s do that on our sister uh podcast called called Gavin just talks about gratitude and shame the entire time. Anyway. Oh fuck, I didn&#39;t number them. Um hold on. David: 13:48 Guys, this is if you&#39;re our first time listener, this is as prepared as Gavin gets, period. Gavin: 13:54 As prepared as I get. Okay, number three, my third most embarrassing moment as a kid was the time that I called Tracy Rosencranz a pig in first grade because she took my paper away from me and she marched right up to our teacher and she said, Hey, Mrs. House gave and called me a pig. And Mrs. SPEAKER_00: 14:12 House grabbed my mouth like this and made me have fishy lifts and said, You don&#39;t call anybody a pig. What do you say to Tracy? And she turned my face towards Tracy and I went, Sorry. David: 14:27 I gotta give it to Miss House. She did the right thing. Gavin: 14:30 It was in front of the entire class, and it was mortifying. Wow. And as I go...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We&apos;re back! And Gavin still can&apos;t get through an episode without messing up. We talk about why David looks tired, and what weird messed up thing his kid whispered in his ear, we tackle the top three most embarrassing moments of our childhood, and this week we are joined by Shelly Marsh aka surrogacy royalty, who talks us through her 4, count them FOUR surrogacy journeys, why they all weren&apos;t great, and what inspired her to create two companies to help and support and protect future surrogates and IP&apos;s.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is my week and the topic was is I hate myself. David: 0:08 But enough to change? Do you hate yourself enough to change is the question. Gavin: 0:11 What is my problem? What is my problem? Undiagnosed. And this is catriorx. David: 0:30 Good morning. Hi. Gavin: 0:34 You sound happy, actually. David: 0:38 Uh, don&#39;t appreciate the actually. I do feel happy. I don&#39;t know why. I don&#39;t know why I feel happy. It&#39;s a good day. But it&#39;s sad that you said it in a way where you&#39;re like, you don&#39;t normally sound happy. And you sound happy, and I am surprised. Gavin: 0:55 I know. Well, ain&#39;t that parenting, though? Like, you know, we&#39;re we&#39;re I appreciate that most of the time you and I, at least off-air, don&#39;t uh have a filter and we can kind of be like, man, I mean, and usually it comes down to parenting, right? We&#39;re exhausted, life is tough, but you sound particularly happy today, I think. Oh, okay. David: 1:14 Well, you don&#39;t look tired. Well, yeah, and I was about to say, like, do not say that to anybody. Why do people say that to you? Like people like, like, no, literally, like the woman at McDonald&#39;s will just be like, oh, you look tired. I was like, what the fuck? I will give me my fucking Big Mac. What do you think about? Gavin: 1:30 Somebody did not read Chicken Soup for the Soul um in uh 1996, where you&#39;re never supposed to tell people they look tired or sick, ever, ever, ever. Just don&#39;t say it, right? Don&#39;t ever say it. David: 1:40 So so for the young listeners, Chicken Soup for the Soul was a whole book series that were very popular in the late 90s for like Midwestern white people. And um, it was kind of a it had a it had a moment. It had a moment. Gavin: 1:51 It had a it definitely had a like a bestseller moment for sure. But there are those life lessons. I mean, I suppose I cannot wait for the gay triarchs. Oh, here&#39;s a business idea. Just get on that, just make it happen. A business idea for like, here&#39;s the advice. Here&#39;s the advice for just like being a gay triarch. And one of them is don&#39;t ever ask anybody if you&#39;re tired or um uh sick, which reminds me that I was um, I don&#39;t know if we&#39;ll get into this later or not, but I um had to make an ER run, which I suppose I can&#39;t say that without actually explaining it, right? Whoa, yeah. Long story short, actually, it wasn&#39;t very dramatic, but my son, the soccer player, broke his foot this weekend. Yeah. Oh my god. A teensy fracture. He&#39;s gonna be rubber, he&#39;ll bounce back, undoubtedly. The doctor, and the thing is, we were doing a campout, which is another thing to like unpack there. But it happened on Friday night, and I was like, dude, we need to go home. And he said, No, no, no, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go, I don&#39;t want to go. And it&#39;s looked like he rolled his ankle a little bit and he was kind of hobbling around, but he wasn&#39;t, you know, he he wasn&#39;t complaining and he didn&#39;t want to leave. So I was like, uh, I guess we&#39;ll stay. I mean, shh, it&#39;s is CPS gonna be called in Sivor, Connecticut? I don&#39;t think so. And um, then long story short. Is that why you live there to avoid CPS? So when we did finally make it to the ER, uh the doct]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We&apos;re back! And Gavin still can&apos;t get through an episode without messing up. We talk about why David looks tired, and what weird messed up thing his kid whispered in his ear, we tackle the top three most embarrassing moments of our childhood, and this week we are joined by Shelly Marsh aka surrogacy royalty, who talks us through her 4, count them FOUR surrogacy journeys, why they all weren&apos;t great, and what inspired her to create two companies to help and support and protect future surrogates and IP&apos;s.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 This is my week and the topic was is I hate myself. David: 0:08 But enough to change? Do you hate yourself enough to change is the question. Gavin: 0:11 What is my problem? What is my problem? Undiagnosed. And this is catriorx. David: 0:30 Good morning. Hi. Gavin: 0:34 You sound happy, actually. David: 0:38 Uh, ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Rabia Chaudry</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-rabia-chaudry/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 13 Mar 2024 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we get in the mood with a little civil disobedience, David is nervous about a laptop open in public, we rank the top 3 ways we have failed to become &#34;cool Dads,&#34; and this week we got lucky to snag one of the smartest and coolest people in the world to join us on our dumb little podcast, Rabia Chaudry, who talks to us about her sudden rise to fame, what it&apos;s like being a parent of 3 kids in 3 different decades, and what really is that running down her shirt? Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Do you think we can is it okay to ask her about like gay serious stuff? David: 0:03 Like gay and religious stuff? You need to start your own podcast now, and it needs to be called Gay and Serious Things with Gay Vin Lodge to get it out of your fucking body so you can come to our show, which is a comedy show and say funny things. Gavin: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs with not a funny guy. David: 0:40 So I went to my first school referendum meeting, foot loose, yelling at each other, kind of thing the other day. And I know this is your wheelhouse, not mine, but I have uh some neighbors who were really passionate about this particular referendum. So I went to this thing. Anyway, the story is that they were doing a presentation on this new addition to the school they want to make, and they were using this guy&#39;s like personal laptop. And all I could think of the whole time was I would never project my laptop screen to a room and including a Zoom call full of hundreds of people. I kept thinking my heart was racing, going, God, please have all your notifications turned off. I hope you don&#39;t tile your background to where we see open windows hidden, and I just it made me so fucking nervous. Um that would be very it would have been very funny, but it was it was just it was a referendum on uh an addition to the school. Shhes, but it it is, I think, uh uh appropriate because you know, the people who showed up to yell and bitch and moan about how their taxes were going up$18 a month were only seniors 72 years old, only seniors and in the most powerful voting group in America because what they pay attention, they want to keep their money, and they vote. But they and in our state in New Jersey, there is a senior tax freeze where if you&#39;re at a certain age and make under a hundred and like eighty thousand dollars a year, your taxes, your property taxes can freeze every year to where none of these additions affect your taxes at all. But they&#39;re the only people who show up because A, they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re bitchy and moony and they have nothing else to do, I guess. I&#39;m I&#39;m kind of I&#39;m kind of big into it. Gavin: 2:31 But also, but but also they care and they have the time. David: 2:34 They care, but they&#39;re they are not thinking about the community, right? Because to them, investing in a school so 30 years down the road blank doesn&#39;t affect them. And it was just one of the things that&#39;s listen, y&#39;all. Gavin: 2:44 You you you reaped all the benefits 40 years ago, and now you got to pay it forward a little bit. David: 2:49 Like this is your duty. This woman stood up and uh she was like, I used to go to the school in the 70s and I took a class like the one they were proposing, which they&#39;ve since gotten rid of, and she was like, And it changed my life, and you know, this is my career now, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m thinking, oh, she&#39;s like pro this. And she goes, like, so I don&#39;t think these kids need stuff like this. And I was like, Oh my God. I had to walk up to the guy afterwards and I said, I don&#39;t know how you get through these town council sort of meetings without wanting to just push everybody off a bridge because it was so gross, but he was really hot. Did he respond? No, he was just really hot. Gavin: 3:24 I just want to go up to uh I was gonna say that was my next question. Sorry, you um definitely jumped on that. Like, was and was he hot? David: 3:30 And he was hot, yeah. So, anyway, the point of my story is um old people are ruining school referendums and don&#39;t use your personal laptop for projecting things at a public meeting. Gavin: 3:39 Yeah, so um, you know what, it it&#39;s been a while since we talked about gay news, which I think is a good thing. Like, we&#39;re not making news because nobody cares and there isn&#39;t um terrible stuff out there generally, except I do have to say, in a bit of uh yeah, I can see your face. David: 3:53 You&#39;re like, and he&#39;s no, I was just thinking like like what there is no such thing as good gay news. Nobody says, hey, gay, by the way, gays are cool, and there&#39;s like an article about it. Like that it&#39;s never that. It&#39;s like gays ruined something. Gavin: 4:06 Yeah, well, you know what, the straits ruined something too. Um, and uh a brief moment for Next Benedict, who is that that that situation and that um undoubtedly court proceeding is still going to be out there for a while. But I what I think is cool in the news is that dozens of uh students at their high school in Oklahoma walked out uh because they were protesting um the the administration&#39;s treatment of the entire situation. And it was just a an act of solidarity. So even though we kind of think, oh, geez, there&#39;s nothing good coming out of that poor high school and stuck in Oklahoma, let hey, let&#39;s face it. You know, there are allies and members of the Gatriarch family who are in Oklahoma too. So sending them all the good vibes, thank you for standing up for what&#39;s right, students. David: 4:53 And it&#39;s so good to see kids that age feel like they uh want to try to change something. Because I think you&#39;re often told that age, you&#39;re too young, shut up, sit down, or whatever. And when people defy that, I love that. I tell you what, when they try to pull the vending machines out of my high school, I was like, Hell yeah, fuck you, motherfuckers. I want my chips, I want my son chips, and I want my diet coke. Gavin: 5:15 You know what? Speaking of exactly that and your referendum, I don&#39;t know that many of our listeners know that I am actually an elected member of the Board of Education. Yes, you&#39;ve definitely mocked me for that before. But um, we are actually having to deal with some of that food in schools, like any food that is sold to students has to comply with a law that is tied to a federal subsidy we get. And so, of course, you know that the vending machines are gonna be rated. And I&#39;m just waiting for the absolute vitriol that&#39;s gonna come from people because they can&#39;t get their sonships. And by people, I don&#39;t mean the students, it&#39;ll definitely be parents who are enraged that their human rights are being taken on. David: 5:54 All that&#39;s here is garden salsa. I want harvest cheddar. Yeah. Um, let&#39;s get into a dad hack of the week, shall we? Let&#39;s be let&#39;s be helpful to these people. Gavin: 6:04 So, as I was looking into some dad hacks, actually, I stumbled across a YouTube influencer, a mere 687,000 followers. Good for you, buddy. I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re doing with your time, except making videos on dad hacks, and he&#39;s probably making millions of dollars doing it. But the guy is named Dude Dad, and he has a fantastic YouTube page of dad hacks, and not just like douchebaggy things that make you look like a dick, but rather really functional things. For instance, for those of us raising baseball players, he comes up with the idea of uh, and you have a toddler or a you know, a three or four-year-old, putting a tennis ball at the end of a fishing pole and having the kid hit it with a bat and then the ball gets sent. And you can just sit there and, you know, while you&#39;ve got your martini in one hand, you can just roll the ball back up with the fishing ball. David: 6:52 I was wondering where alcohol would play it. Gavin: 6:53 And then another one, uh, when um, you know how when toddlers are driving in the car and they fall asleep and their heads are bobbing around and you think, oh my god, their necks must hurt so much. David: 7:03 When toddlers are driving the car game? Gavin: 7:05 Yes, when toddlers are driving your car and they&#39;ve fallen asleep at the wheel and their heads are bobbing around, it looks really painful, right? And you always think, how do I hold their head up? Well, he came up with this really simple hack of putting a strip of Velcro on the back of the car seat and on top of a baseball hat and attaching the baseball hat to the Velcro so it holds their head up. And a baseball hat is like more comfortable than like, you know, tying their heads to the seat. David: 7:31 Yeah, we&#39;ll have to run that by Jamie Grayson&#39;s. There&#39;s something about that that seems a little dangerous, but also a really great idea. So TBD ones. Gavin: 7:39 So I&#39;m not going to go through the entire thing, and I am actually sending traffic to you, Dude Dad, which by the way, we&#39;d love to have you on our show to talk about dad hacks, but go check out Dude Dad on YouTube because he&#39;s funny and innovative as heck. David: 7:54 I know this is an old joke, but it&#39;s so funny when you think about all the kind of new baby safety things, and then you there&#39;s like a trend going on on TikTok about this, where like you cut to like a photo of you and your childhood, just like free range in the backseat of a Cadillac, just sliding back and forth on every curve. Hell yeah. Oh man. I remember I would do I would my grandma had a minivan and she would smoke with the windows up. Nice, and uh we would go to the beach, and me and my cousins would be in the trunk with our feet up, yes, and we would pretend we were being kidnapped. And my we fucking loved it. We fucking loved it. Gavin: 8:26 Um I my grandmother drove a uh like an Oldsmobile station wagon that comfortably sat 16 and it had one of those doors that moved uh open sideways, you know, like not a hatchback, but and it was just enormous. I mean, that was probably late 60s kind of uh car. It was, of course, olive green. And um, I loved laying in the back of that thing because you could roll around all over the place. I invariably, it was in the summertime when I would visit, so I would be like sweaty in the back, falling asleep in the back of her car, covered in who knows what is in the dirtiness of um my smoking grandmother&#39;s uh station wagon. And by smoking grandmother, I mean she was smoking. David: 9:09 So not smoking, smoking. Gavin: 9:12 Oh, um she was smoking while she was smoking, yeah, for sure. David: 9:15 Okay. Um, well, let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Ooh, shall we? Gavin: 9:19 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:23 So this week we are doing the top three ways you thought you would be a cool dad, but you are absolutely not. Gavin: 9:30 Is this yet again my list that I forgot about, or is this your list? No, this is my list. Okay, thanks for that reminder. David: 9:36 Um, so uh number three for me, I thought I would be cool with naps and bedtimes. I thought I would just be like, yeah, you know, when the kid falls asleep, he falls asleep. We&#39;ll we&#39;ll just bring him to bed. If you want to nap in the car, you can nap in the car. I am so fucking rigid with nap times. If it is 1-01, I&#39;m like, we&#39;re late for naps. Like, I am so hardcore about that. So, number three, flexible with bed times. Um, number two, I thought it&#39;d be cool. I thought my kids would love for me to sing and dance for them. Like in the mornings, I give full breakfast performances to whatever music is playing. And I thought in my head, my kids are gonna look up to me and be like, that guy was on Broadway. And uh, they look at me like I&#39;m a piece of shit and I should stop dancing. Um, and number one, uh, I thought I&#39;d be a young dad. I I I literally thought when I was having my kids, I was like, oh, I&#39;m gonna be looked at as like a young dad. I was 39, Gavin. I&#39;m an old dad. But in my mind, I was a new dad, so people looked at me like, what are these babies having babies for? Uh that&#39;s not true. I&#39;m an old, I am, I am, I am now 44 and I am an old dad. Gavin: 10:44 So um, the three, well, I definitely can relate to every single one of those, especially the free reign factor, thinking that I would I would just be cool with it. Just like let them free reign. But I think I took a slightly different tack to this, of course, because um you don&#39;t listen. Because what I mean is my perception of myself. I thought I was gonna be a cool dad. First of all, I thought, nope, I&#39;m not gonna be like any of those guys. My dad bod is gonna be with abs. I mean, I&#39;ve been holding this delusion for my entire life. David: 11:19 You&#39;re gonna be a grandparent and still be working on this. Gavin: 11:22 Someday I would actually have a six pack. And needless to say, I am not that cool a dad. Uh, number two, I thought that I would be basically like Amy Polar in Mean Girls. Not exactly serving margaritas to my children by any stretch, but I thought that my kids would want to hang with me. And no, I&#39;m living Amy Polar in Mean Girls, where my 12-year-old daughter rolls her eyes so hard she almost has a seizure every time she sees me walk into a room. So clearly I am not the cool dad. David: 11:51 That is very true in the way the way I think about you, you and as Amy Polar and Mean Girls, like that is a perfect comparison. Yeah, guys. Hey, I just made it. I&#39;m not like regular parents. Gavin: 12:02 I&#39;m I&#39;m a cool dad. Nope, I&#39;m just totally fucking lame. David: 12:06 Your daughters like die. Gavin: 12:07 Yeah, 100%. And then number one, I thought I was gonna be rich. Once again, delusional. I just kind of thought, I&#39;m not sure how it&#39;s gonna be, but I thought I would be rich with a six-pack that all of my all kids would want to hang out with me. And instead, I&#39;m lame, poor, and deaf and fat. That&#39;s exactly right. Not as cool as I thought I was gonna be. David: 12:31 So, what is next week&#39;s top three Less Gavins? Gavin: 12:33 So, going on the theme of embarrassing your children, can you tell me the three times you were most embarrassed by your parents as a kid? David: 12:44 So, our guest this week, I&#39;m sorry, everyone is kind of a real nobody. Um, she&#39;s an attorney, she&#39;s an advocate, she&#39;s an author of the New York Times best-selling book, Adnan Story, and the executive producer of a four-part HBO documentary series, The Case Against Adnan Sayet. She is also a fellow podcaster, and her new memoir called Fatty Fatty Boom Boom, a memoir of food, fat, and family, was obviously stolen. As this is what I say to myself in the mirror every single day. But even though she&#39;s basically done nothing with her life, we wanted to have her on our show today because she is a mom and she is a mom to three kids over three different decades. Please welcome to the show, Rabia Chaudhry. Hi, Robbie. SPEAKER_01: 13:26 Hi, Gavin. Gavin: 13:27 We hope that you&#39;re really prepared for this and you&#39;ve come with uh an entire dossier of notes. Um, or I&#39;m sure you&#39;re nervous. I&#39;m sure you&#39;re nervous. SPEAKER_01: 13:43 That&#39;s what I come with. Life experience. David: 13:45 You come with the garlic for sure. But we would we for sure want our guests to be messy and covered in garlic. Like if you came here all like prepped and be like, oh, I just cut out cute shapes for my kids, you know, food, I&#39;ll be like, You&#39;re in the wrong. Gavin: 13:58 Yeah. Get the fuck out...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we get in the mood with a little civil disobedience, David is nervous about a laptop open in public, we rank the top 3 ways we have failed to become &#34;cool Dads,&#34; and this week we got lucky to snag one of the smartest and coolest people]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we get in the mood with a little civil disobedience, David is nervous about a laptop open in public, we rank the top 3 ways we have failed to become &#34;cool Dads,&#34; and this week we got lucky to snag one of the smartest and coolest people in the world to join us on our dumb little podcast, Rabia Chaudry, who talks to us about her sudden rise to fame, what it&apos;s like being a parent of 3 kids in 3 different decades, and what really is that running down her shirt? Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Do you think we can is it okay to ask her about like gay serious stuff? David: 0:03 Like gay and religious stuff? You need to start your own podcast now, and it needs to be called Gay and Serious Things with Gay Vin Lodge to get it out of your fucking body so you can come to our show, which is a comedy show and say funny things. Gavin: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs with not a funny guy. David: 0:40 So I went to my first school referendum meeting, foot loose, yelling at each other, kind of thing the other day. And I know this is your wheelhouse, not mine, but I have uh some neighbors who were really passionate about this particular referendum. So I went to this thing. Anyway, the story is that they were doing a presentation on this new addition to the school they want to make, and they were using this guy&#39;s like personal laptop. And all I could think of the whole time was I would never project my laptop screen to a room and including a Zoom call full of hundreds of people. I kept thinking my heart was racing, going, God, please have all your notifications turned off. I hope you don&#39;t tile your background to where we see open windows hidden, and I just it made me so fucking nervous. Um that would be very it would have been very funny, but it was it was just it was a referendum on uh an addition to the school. Shhes, but it it is, I think, uh uh appropriate because you know, the people who showed up to yell and bitch and moan about how their taxes were going up$18 a month were only seniors 72 years old, only seniors and in the most powerful voting group in America because what they pay attention, they want to keep their money, and they vote. But they and in our state in New Jersey, there is a senior tax freeze where if you&#39;re at a certain age and make under a hundred and like eighty thousand dollars a year, your taxes, your property taxes can freeze every year to where none of these additions affect your taxes at all. But they&#39;re the only people who show up because A, they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re bitchy and moony and they have nothing else to do, I guess. I&#39;m I&#39;m kind of I&#39;m kind of big into it. Gavin: 2:31 But also, but but also they care and they have the time. David: 2:34 They care, but they&#39;re they are not thinking about the community, right? Because to them, investing in a school so 30 years down the road blank doesn&#39;t affect them. And it was just one of the things that&#39;s listen, y&#39;all. Gavin: 2:44 You you you reaped all the benefits 40 years ago, and now you got to pay it forward a little bit. David: 2:49 Like this is your duty. This woman stood up and uh she was like, I used to go to the school in the 70s and I took a class like the one they were proposing, which they&#39;ve since gotten rid of, and she was like, And it changed my life, and you know, this is my career now, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m thinking, oh, she&#39;s like pro this. And she goes, like, so I don&#39;t think these kids need stuff like this. And I was like, Oh my God. I had to walk up to the guy afterwards and I said, I don&#39;t know how you get through these town council sort of meetings without wanting to just push everybody off a bridge because it was so gross, but he was really hot. Did he respond? No, he was just really hot. Gavin: 3:24 I just want to go up to uh I was gonna say that was my next question. Sorry, you um definitely jumped on that. Like, was and was he hot? David: 3:30 And he was hot, yeah. So, anyway, the point of my story is um old people are ruining school referendums and don&#39;t use your personal laptop for projecting things at a public meeting. Gavin: 3:39 Yeah, so um, you know what, it it&#39;s been a while since we talked about gay news, which I think is a good thing. Like, we&#39;re not making news because nobody cares and there isn&#39;t um terrible stuff out there generally, except I do have to say, in a bit of uh yeah, I can see your face. David: 3:53 You&#39;re like, and he&#39;s no, I was just thinking like like what there is no such thing as good gay news. Nobody says, hey, gay, by the way, gays are cool, and there&#39;s like an article about it. Like that it&#39;s never that. It&#39;s like gays ruined something. Gavin: 4:06 Yeah, well, you know what, the straits ruined something too. Um, and uh a brief moment for Next Benedict, who is that that that situation and that um undoubtedly court proceeding is still going to be out there for a while. But I what I think is cool in the news is that dozens of uh students at their high school in Oklahoma walked out uh because they were protesting um the the administration&#39;s treatment of the entire situation. And it was just a an act of solidarity. So even though we kind of think, oh, geez, there&#39;s nothing good coming out of that poor high school and stuck in Oklahoma, let hey, let&#39;s face it. You know, there are allies and members of the Gatriarch family who are in Oklahoma too. So sending them all the good vibes, thank you for standing up for what&#39;s right, students. David: 4:53 And it&#39;s so good to see kids that age feel like they uh want to try to change something. Because I think you&#39;re often told that age, you&#39;re too young, shut up, sit down, or whatever. And when people defy that, I love that. I tell you what, when they try to pull the vending machines out of my high school, I was like, Hell yeah, fuck you, motherfuckers. I want my chips, I want my son chips, and I want my diet coke. Gavin: 5:15 You know what? Speaking of exactly that and your referendum, I don&#39;t know that many of our listeners know that I am actually an elected member of the Board of Education. Yes, you&#39;ve definitely mocked me for that before. But um, we are actually having to deal with some of that food in schools, like any food that is sold to students has to comply with a law that is tied to a federal subsidy we get. And so, of course, you know that the vending machines are gonna be rated. And I&#39;m just waiting for the absolute vitriol that&#39;s gonna come from people because they can&#39;t get their sonships. And by people, I don&#39;t mean the students, it&#39;ll definitely be parents who are enraged that their human rights are being taken on. David: 5:54 All that&#39;s here is garden salsa. I want harvest cheddar. Yeah. Um, let&#39;s get into a dad hack of the week, shall we? Let&#39;s be let&#39;s be helpful to these people. Gavin: 6:04 So, as I was looking into some dad hacks, actually, I stumbled across a YouTube influencer, a mere 687,000 followers. Good for you, buddy. I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re doing with your time, except making videos on dad hacks, and he&#39;s probably making millions of dollars doing it. But the guy is named Dude Dad, and he has a fantastic YouTube page of dad hacks, and not just like douchebaggy things that make you look like a dick, but rather really functional things. For instance, for those of us raising baseball players, he comes up with the idea of uh, and you have a toddler or a you know, a three or four-year-old, putting a tennis ball at the end of a fishing pole and having the kid hit it with a bat and then the ball gets sent. And you can just sit there and, you know, while you&#39;ve got your martini in one hand, you can just roll the ball back up with the fishing ball. David: 6:52 I was wondering where alcohol would play it. Gavin: 6:53 And then another one, uh, when um, you know how when toddlers are driving in the car and they fall asleep and their heads are bobbing around and you think, oh my god, their necks must hurt so much. David: 7:03 When toddlers are driving the car game? Gavin: 7:05 Yes, when toddlers are driving your car and they&#39;ve fallen asleep at the wheel and their heads are bobbing around, it looks really painful, right? And you always think, how do I hold their head up? Well, he came up with this really simple hack of putting a strip of Velcro on the back of the car seat and on top of a baseball hat and attaching the baseball hat to the Velcro so it holds their head up. And a baseball hat is like more comfortable than like, you know, tying their heads to the seat. David: 7:31 Yeah, we&#39;ll have to run that by Jamie Grayson&#39;s. There&#39;s something about that that seems a little dangerous, but also a really great idea. So TBD ones. Gavin: 7:39 So I&#39;m not going to go through the entire thing, and I am actually sending traffic to you, Dude Dad, which by the way, we&#39;d love to have you on our show to talk about dad hacks, but go check out Dude Dad on YouTube because he&#39;s funny and innovative as heck. David: 7:54 I know this is an old joke, but it&#39;s so funny when you think about all the kind of new baby safety things, and then you there&#39;s like a trend going on on TikTok about this, where like you cut to like a photo of you and your childhood, just like free range in the backseat of a Cadillac, just sliding back and forth on every curve. Hell yeah. Oh man. I remember I would do I would my grandma had a minivan and she would smoke with the windows up. Nice, and uh we would go to the beach, and me and my cousins would be in the trunk with our feet up, yes, and we would pretend we were being kidnapped. And my we fucking loved it. We fucking loved it. Gavin: 8:26 Um I my grandmother drove a uh like an Oldsmobile station wagon that comfortably sat 16 and it had one of those doors that moved uh open sideways, you know, like not a hatchback, but and it was just enormous. I mean, that was probably late 60s kind of uh car. It was, of course, olive green. And um, I loved laying in the back of that thing because you could roll around all over the place. I invariably, it was in the summertime when I would visit, so I would be like sweaty in the back, falling asleep in the back of her car, covered in who knows what is in the dirtiness of um my smoking grandmother&#39;s uh station wagon. And by smoking grandmother, I mean she was smoking. David: 9:09 So not smoking, smoking. Gavin: 9:12 Oh, um she was smoking while she was smoking, yeah, for sure. David: 9:15 Okay. Um, well, let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Ooh, shall we? Gavin: 9:19 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:23 So this week we are doing the top three ways you thought you would be a cool dad, but you are absolutely not. Gavin: 9:30 Is this yet again my list that I forgot about, or is this your list? No, this is my list. Okay, thanks for that reminder. David: 9:36 Um, so uh number three for me, I thought I would be cool with naps and bedtimes. I thought I would just be like, yeah, you know, when the kid falls asleep, he falls asleep. We&#39;ll we&#39;ll just bring him to bed. If you want to nap in the car, you can nap in the car. I am so fucking rigid with nap times. If it is 1-01, I&#39;m like, we&#39;re late for naps. Like, I am so hardcore about that. So, number three, flexible with bed times. Um, number two, I thought it&#39;d be cool. I thought my kids would love for me to sing and dance for them. Like in the mornings, I give full breakfast performances to whatever music is playing. And I thought in my head, my kids are gonna look up to me and be like, that guy was on Broadway. And uh, they look at me like I&#39;m a piece of shit and I should stop dancing. Um, and number one, uh, I thought I&#39;d be a young dad. I I I literally thought when I was having my kids, I was like, oh, I&#39;m gonna be looked at as like a young dad. I was 39, Gavin. I&#39;m an old dad. But in my mind, I was a new dad, so people looked at me like, what are these babies having babies for? Uh that&#39;s not true. I&#39;m an old, I am, I am, I am now 44 and I am an old dad. Gavin: 10:44 So um, the three, well, I definitely can relate to every single one of those, especially the free reign factor, thinking that I would I would just be cool with it. Just like let them free reign. But I think I took a slightly different tack to this, of course, because um you don&#39;t listen. Because what I mean is my perception of myself. I thought I was gonna be a cool dad. First of all, I thought, nope, I&#39;m not gonna be like any of those guys. My dad bod is gonna be with abs. I mean, I&#39;ve been holding this delusion for my entire life. David: 11:19 You&#39;re gonna be a grandparent and still be working on this. Gavin: 11:22 Someday I would actually have a six pack. And needless to say, I am not that cool a dad. Uh, number two, I thought that I would be basically like Amy Polar in Mean Girls. Not exactly serving margaritas to my children by any stretch, but I thought that my kids would want to hang with me. And no, I&#39;m living Amy Polar in Mean Girls, where my 12-year-old daughter rolls her eyes so hard she almost has a seizure every time she sees me walk into a room. So clearly I am not the cool dad. David: 11:51 That is very true in the way the way I think about you, you and as Amy Polar and Mean Girls, like that is a perfect comparison. Yeah, guys. Hey, I just made it. I&#39;m not like regular parents. Gavin: 12:02 I&#39;m I&#39;m a cool dad. Nope, I&#39;m just totally fucking lame. David: 12:06 Your daughters like die. Gavin: 12:07 Yeah, 100%. And then number one, I thought I was gonna be rich. Once again, delusional. I just kind of thought, I&#39;m not sure how it&#39;s gonna be, but I thought I would be rich with a six-pack that all of my all kids would want to hang out with me. And instead, I&#39;m lame, poor, and deaf and fat. That&#39;s exactly right. Not as cool as I thought I was gonna be. David: 12:31 So, what is next week&#39;s top three Less Gavins? Gavin: 12:33 So, going on the theme of embarrassing your children, can you tell me the three times you were most embarrassed by your parents as a kid? David: 12:44 So, our guest this week, I&#39;m sorry, everyone is kind of a real nobody. Um, she&#39;s an attorney, she&#39;s an advocate, she&#39;s an author of the New York Times best-selling book, Adnan Story, and the executive producer of a four-part HBO documentary series, The Case Against Adnan Sayet. She is also a fellow podcaster, and her new memoir called Fatty Fatty Boom Boom, a memoir of food, fat, and family, was obviously stolen. As this is what I say to myself in the mirror every single day. But even though she&#39;s basically done nothing with her life, we wanted to have her on our show today because she is a mom and she is a mom to three kids over three different decades. Please welcome to the show, Rabia Chaudhry. Hi, Robbie. SPEAKER_01: 13:26 Hi, Gavin. Gavin: 13:27 We hope that you&#39;re really prepared for this and you&#39;ve come with uh an entire dossier of notes. Um, or I&#39;m sure you&#39;re nervous. I&#39;m sure you&#39;re nervous. SPEAKER_01: 13:43 That&#39;s what I come with. Life experience. David: 13:45 You come with the garlic for sure. But we would we for sure want our guests to be messy and covered in garlic. Like if you came here all like prepped and be like, oh, I just cut out cute shapes for my kids, you know, food, I&#39;ll be like, You&#39;re in the wrong. Gavin: 13:58 Yeah. Get the fuck out...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we get in the mood with a little civil disobedience, David is nervous about a laptop open in public, we rank the top 3 ways we have failed to become &#34;cool Dads,&#34; and this week we got lucky to snag one of the smartest and coolest people in the world to join us on our dumb little podcast, Rabia Chaudry, who talks to us about her sudden rise to fame, what it&apos;s like being a parent of 3 kids in 3 different decades, and what really is that running down her shirt? Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Do you think we can is it okay to ask her about like gay serious stuff? David: 0:03 Like gay and religious stuff? You need to start your own podcast now, and it needs to be called Gay and Serious Things with Gay Vin Lodge to get it out of your fucking body so you can come to our show, which is a comedy show and say funny things. Gavin: 0:23 And this is Gatriarchs with not a funny guy. David: 0:40 So I went to my first school referendum meeting, foot loose, yelling at each other, kind of thing the other day. And I know this is your wheelhouse, not mine, but I have uh some neighbors who were really passionate about this particular referendum. So I went to this thing. Anyway, the story is that they were doing a presentation on this new addition to the school they want to make, and they were using this guy&#39;s like personal laptop. And all I could think of the whole time was I would never project my laptop screen to a room and including a Zoom call full of hundreds of people. I kept thinking my heart was racing, going, God, please have all your notifications turned off. I hope you don&#39;t tile your background to where we see open windows hidden, and I just it made me so fucking nervous. Um that would be very it would have been very funny, but it was it was just it was a referendum on uh an addition to the school. Shhes, but it it is, I think, uh uh appropriate because you know, the people who showed up to yell and bitch and moan about how their taxes were going up$18 a month were only seniors 72 years old, only seniors and in the most powerful voting group in America because what they pay attention, they want to keep their money, and they vote. But they and in our state in New Jersey, there is a senior tax freeze where if you&#39;re at a certain age and make under a hundred and like eighty thousand dollars a year, your taxes, your property taxes can freeze every year to where none of these additions affect your taxes at all. But they&#39;re the only people who show up because A, they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re they&#39;re bitchy and moony and they have nothing else to do, I guess. I&#39;m I&#39;m kind of I&#39;m kind of big into it. Gavin: 2:31 But also, but but also they care and they have the time. David: 2:34 They care, but they&#39;re they are not thinking about the community, right? Because to them, investing in a school so 30 years down the road blank doesn&#39;t affect them. And it was just one of the things that&#39;s listen, y&#39;all. Gavin: 2:44 You you you reaped all the benefits 40 years ago, and now you got to pay it forward a little bit. David: 2:49 Like this is your duty. This woman stood up and uh she was like, I used to go to the school in the 70s and I took a class like the one they were proposing, which they&#39;ve since gotten rid of, and she was like, And it changed my life, and you know, this is my career now, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m thinking, oh, she&#39;s like pro this. And she goes, like, so I don&#39;t think these kids need stuff like this. And I was like, Oh my God. I had to walk up to the guy afterwards and I said, I don&#39;t know how you get through these town council sort of meetings without wanting to just push everybody off a bridge because it was so gross, but he was really hot. Did he respond? No, he was just really hot. Gavin: 3:24 I just want t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we get in the mood with a little civil disobedience, David is nervous about a laptop open in public, we rank the top 3 ways we have failed to become &#34;cool Dads,&#34; and this week we got lucky to snag one of the smartest and coolest people in the world to join us on our dumb little podcast, Rabia Chaudry, who talks to us about her sudden rise to fame, what it&apos;s like being a parent of 3 kids in 3 different decades, and what really is that running down her shirt? Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Do you think we can is it okay to ask her about like gay serious stuff? David: 0:03 Like gay and religious stuff? You need to start your own podcast now, and it needs to be called Gay and Serious Things with Gay Vin Lodge to get it out of your fucking body so you can come to our show, which is a comedy show and say funny things. Gavin: 0:23 And this is G]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Caitlyn Plaskett aka 2.ladies.and.2.babies &#8211; Part Deux!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-caitlyn-plaskett-aka-2-ladies-and-2-babies-part-deux/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Mar 2024 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, right-wingers come from one of our own, David doesn&apos;t learn a single lesson and pays for it, we rank the top 3 baby foods that don&apos;t taste gross, and this week we have back one of our favorites Caitlyn Plaskett from the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok to update us on a scandelous story of internet sleuthing. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So normally we start every episode with uh our cold open, which is usually Gavin ruining something, mispronouncing a word, forgetting something, stumbling over something. And um I just have some really sad news this week and I wanted to share it with y&#39;all before we start the episode. This is a comedy show, but it&#39;s pretty serious. Um Gaven got through an entire recording without really fucking up once. And uh it&#39;s as hard for me as it is for you out there, I&#39;m sure. And so um I&#39;m just gonna need some time to recover um to find me again. And um I would like you all out there to respect me and my family&#39;s privacy at this time. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:00 Um, we have many amazing guests here, and one of our first amazing guests, I mean, way back. You remember Jose Rolone? He was like number two? Number three. No. But he was in the he was in the top ten for sure. David: 1:13 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:13 He was at single digits. So that poor guy has been skewered by idiots recently, on like the the the you know, the Breitbart kind of world, by a guy named Stu Peters, who decided that a good use of his platform, which by the way, is huge in the um, you know, the not the Twitter sphere, obviously, but like the whole, I don&#39;t know, Trumpian world of um hate mongering. And he has a huge following, and he decided that it to be informative in the world, he was gonna go after NYC gay dad, Jose Roland, and um made an entire Tucker Carlson-like uh speech rant 15 segment about Jose and his and Jose&#39;s excellent parenting. I mean you&#39;re doing something right when you&#39;ve got Stu Peters coming after you, I suppose, for 17 minutes, because uh he really Stu was hot under the collar. David: 2:08 You have to think you have to think about it that way, because if you try to ingest what the actual thing that&#39;s going on, which is this vile fucking hate coming towards you, you&#39;re gonna get poisoned to death. Yeah. So to have we have you have to like, you really do have to think about it as like I&#39;m doing something right if I&#39;m angering the people I despise. But 100%. You know, and you know that they&#39;re cut they&#39;re coming for him. They&#39;re like, oh, you&#39;re a bad dad because you&#39;re gay or whatever. It&#39;s like, no, yeah, you&#39;re going to affect my kids&#39; neg lives negatively for doing this exact thing. For coming for putting them in the spotlight. Oh God, it&#39;s so gross. Gavin: 2:44 Which is totally what Jose&#39;s doing, too. He&#39;s taking him to task and being able to, I mean, this has been an ongoing TikTok saga for him, but he&#39;s been um saying, listen, I stand by everything that I do, and just because this man is so frankly closeted. I mean, you know the guy has skeletons in his closet if he cares this much, but he&#39;s like showing the videos of uh videos that Jose has made about saying, like, hey, sometimes I let my kids go into my closet and pull out my wigs. I don&#39;t think Jose is a drag queen, but you know, hey, who doesn&#39;t like to drag it out? David: 3:18 Who doesn&#39;t have a wig in their closet? Yeah. Gavin: 3:19 Well, who doesn&#39;t want to have a wig in their closet? Because you know why? It&#39;s fun and it makes people laugh and it makes people happy. So um, Stu. Oh, poor guy. Poor, poor, repressed, sad Stu. Anyway, I&#39;m glad to that we are on the right side with Jose. David: 3:35 Yeah. Stu, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Jose, we love you. We&#39;re on your side. So uh let me just tell you about how uh I don&#39;t listen to my own advice and I&#39;m a terrible parent. Um I a daycare was closed, of course, because it&#39;s always closed. That&#39;s another rant for every day. And I was like, you know what? I&#39;m gonna take uh my daughter who is two, I&#39;m gonna take her to the YMCA. I know there&#39;s like a bunch of exercise rooms that aren&#39;t um being used, and we could just play with yoga balls, we&#39;ll just walk around. It was great. We went to the workout floor, one of the trainers gave her a lollipop. I was there for like an hour and a half. It was so fun. And we&#39;re in the upstairs room, and then I hear the sound. And I&#39;m like, oh, she&#39;s pooping. I&#39;m like, I gotta change her diaper. Oh, David again did not bring the diaper bag because he thought, oh, I&#39;m just gonna pop into the YMCA, it&#39;ll be fine. For everyone out there, it&#39;s never gonna be fine. You&#39;re just gonna pop into the grocery store real quick, bring the diaper bag. So she takes probably the largest shit she&#39;s ever taken in her entire life. And I&#39;m like, what do I do? I cannot strap this poor girl into her own feces in the car seat. So we go to the the bathroom, the men&#39;s bathroom, which doesn&#39;t have a changing table in it, of course. And really at the YMCA? I know, I know, it&#39;s really bad. And then so what I did was I like I was a fucking surgeon, I had to like undo her diaper. I took some paper towels and tried to scoop out as much feces as I possibly could, throw it into the trash can, get another layer of paper towels, line her old diaper shitty diaper, and and put the disgusting half shitty diaper back on this poor little girl, strap her into the car seat. Oh man, we went directly home and directly into the bath. So lesson learned. Nope, just kidding. I&#39;ll never learn that lesson. Gavin: 5:28 You will never learn that lesson. But that, but that this is an exact a perfect example of your resilience and your creativity and your dad hackitude. So this this counts as a really good dad hack. You you scoop in, scoop it out, and then just line the thing with paper towels and hope that you aren&#39;t walking around Disneyland for the next three and a half hours because that&#39;s gonna hurt when it dries. David: 5:53 Gavin, the real dad hack is bring your fucking diaper bag wherever you go. But David just doesn&#39;t listen to David. He just speaks into a microphone to um our listener. Gavin: 6:04 So speaking of the YMCA, uh, I was at our local YMCA just recently because I was with my son and some of his fellow Cub Scouts, and we were doing a swim test. And I don&#39;t know when the last time you walked into the YMCA with five uh 10-year-old boys. But all I could think was, oh God, we&#39;re gonna go have we&#39;re gonna have to go through the locker room. Because, you know, the YMCA locker room tends to be fully naked people who should a 90-year-old naked many year old man should not be naked. Now powdering their balls for some reason. I&#39;m I am 100% about body positivity, nudity, whatever. Uh, but also I&#39;m American and I&#39;m not European, so part of me does, I can&#39;t help but be a little judgmental. And also, like the whole like letting it all just hang out. Wow, a bunch of 10-year-olds are walking by, who are squealingly laughing the entire time, shocked beyond all belief, because probably this is the first time they&#39;ve done such a thing. It was a real memorable experience. And I did, I mean, I had to say, guys, stop pointing and please try to stop laughing. But you know they will have that. David: 7:27 I wouldn&#39;t have been able to. I would have laughed the whole time. I&#39;d be like, look at those old balls. Gavin: 7:33 Well, this saw them, and they will have PTSD for the rest of their lives. But it is a human body, yay! Celebrate positivity, but also maybe don&#39;t stand like a starfish. Well, that&#39;s not what happened. I don&#39;t mean to make it sound gross. There was nothing lascivious or gross or anything about it. It was just naked dudes at the YMCA, but still, you know. This is the gay agenda. David: 7:54 Um, so before we um move on to our top three list, I wanted to just really quickly talk to our listener directly. Listener. Mom. Um I I we don&#39;t talk about this very often because it&#39;s annoying when I listen to it on other podcasts. But I think it&#39;s in our best interest just to every once in a while remind listeners, how listener, how important it is for us as a show, as a show who wants to be out in the world, to have you all, the listener, share the show. Yes, uh, review us, uh, like our Instagram posts, share our Instagram handle. It&#39;s so annoying. Everyone and every YouTube, like and subscribe. But here&#39;s why. The way the algorithm works, if you are searching for a gay dad show or comedy parenting show, it&#39;s not our show is not just gonna automatically come up. The algorithm likes shows that are active. Luckily, we release every single week pretty consistently, but shows that are being shared, liked, all that stuff. And also just getting in front of people. There are probably a billion podcasts out there, but I only listed the the six I listened to because they were personally recommended to me or they were shared via my friends. So the the reason I bring this up is we would like to move on to from our 77 cents that we made in 2023 into something a little bit more full-time so we can keep doing this for you all. So, our ask for you this week is whatever show you like the best, uh uh coming out in the next couple weeks, if you wouldn&#39;t mind posting it to your Instagram stories, uh sending us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, share it in whatever way you feel comfortable. It would help us out so fucking much. And I promise not to bring it up again for another six months. But if you can do a little something for us, it would mean the world. And maybe we can hire an intern again to do more stuff. Gavin: 9:43 So we&#39;ll tag team on this. David won&#39;t talk about it for another six months, but I&#39;m gonna talk about it in six weeks. But yes, whatever you can do to just give us a boost, we would really appreciate it. It doesn&#39;t take too much time. Moving on, do we have a top three list, David? David: 10:00 We do, and it&#39;s your top three list, must I remind you. I am this week three, week three of you being surprised about the same bit we&#39;ve been doing for 55 episodes. The top three lists that you chose last week. Gavin: 10:17 I am prepared. David: 10:18 Okay, I am prepared. Gavin: 10:20 No, I am prepared, but I did forget that this was my suggestion. Because uh anyway, so um number three for oh excuse me. So the top three list was top three baby foods that aren&#39;t gross. So for number three for mine is French fries. Yes, they were baby foods as often as they possibly could be, and my kids loved them. So, no, they were they they were able to gum them as soon as possible, and we are a French fry friendly family. Number two, puffs. Puffs still exist, don&#39;t they? David: 10:52 Good old puffs. Love a puff. Gavin: 10:55 Also because they feel so guilt-free, because you&#39;re like, this is just air, and it kind of quenches my uh hunger when I&#39;m sitting at a playground and I might as well just be part of this. But number one, this is my humble brag, is that we did make a fair amount of um baby food when our kids were babies. And mainly it was just to force feed veggies to them. And so I made this kind of blend of spinach, olive oil, salt, and pepper, um, and just green, we called them greenies, and I would make them like once a week, and we froze them, and I would just microwave them real quick, and my kids ate the greenies all the time. And then it wasn&#39;t too long after I was like, you know what? This will just be my vegetable intake once in a while. And so basically, baby food spinach was like, eh, it&#39;s not good. I wouldn&#39;t serve it to my friends, but it&#39;s good enough for me right now. What about you? What are top three baby foods that aren&#39;t gross? David: 11:48 Yes, I can&#39;t believe you said french fries. That is that is not a baby food. It is a food you fed your baby, which we&#39;ll all have CPS talk to you about. Therefore, it was a baby food. And so number three for me, pouches. Pouches are just fruit purees, and it&#39;s just basically an unfrozen smoothie. So pouches, number three. Gavin: 12:06 You know what? I was gonna say pouches, but I felt I was cheating because it&#39;s like that&#39;s just baby food in a pouch. That&#39;s all it is. It could be sweeped, it just doesn&#39;t have the Gerber label on it, you know? Anyway, pardon me. David: 12:16 Uh, and number two for me, uh, this is a food that we feed our kids, but I so we consider it a baby food, but is frozen peas. We use this hack. They love frozen peas as a snack. It is their favorite thing. And it tastes like little balls of ice cream that is not sweet. I know it&#39;s hard to describe, sure, but frozen peas. It&#39;s like that space, the space ice cream, the space bowls, whatever they are. Yeah. Um, and number one, something that I will sit down and just flat out fucking eat. Uh-oh. Teething crackers. They are delicious. They melt in your mouth. Um, they feel substantial, but they just disappear. I fucking love teething crackers. I&#39;ll eat some today just to piss Gavin off. Um, this does remind me. I&#39;m gonna take a slight detour. Gavin: 13:00 My favorite eating basically my kids&#39; food moment was several years ago when I was just so tired in the morning and I was making lunch for my kids, and I pulled out their old lunch from the day before, and it was some kind of bologna sandwich. And I started to eat it, and I thought, I&#39;m making my breakfast from my children&#39;s leftover lunch. And I looked at it, I looked at it and I kind of shrugged and was like, eh, it&#39;s still good. And so I kept eating their leftover, probably half-spoiled ham and cheese sandwich um from the day before. But I don&#39;t think that was any that was probably about the grossest thing that um wasn&#39;t French fries, puffs, or greenies. Anyway, what is next week&#39;s topic, David? David: 13:43 Uh, next week is gonna be the top three ways you thought you&#39;d be cooler as a parent than you turned out to be. Gavin: 13:49 I can&#39;t wait to think this was my topic. David: 13:52 Okay, so our special, special guest this week is arguably one of my favorite people on the planet, and I have never met her in person. But we text all the time, and I&#39;m obsessed with her. Please welcome back to the show, Caitlin Plaskin. Hi, Caitlin. Um, so you reached out to me um what, a couple weeks ago, maybe a couple months ago, and you were like, girl. And then there was a series of dramatic texts that followed, and a whole conversation that happened. And I was like, you&#39;ve got to come back on the show and tell us all about it because I think it&#39;s something that all parents, but gay parents specifically, would really find interesting. So please tell us what happened. SPEAKER_00: 14:31 Absolutely. Okay, so backtrack a little bit. I explained in our first episode how you go on a website to find your donor for sperm to, you know, make the baby, all that, and like it&#39;s like online dating, but you only get to see baby photos of them and et cetera, et cetera. So I matched with a family who use the same donor and they don&#39;t live in this country, they&#39;re in another country, but we have stayed in touch. It&#39;s the only family we&#39;ve matched with so far, and they have little girls that are similar in age to my boys. So we had talked about we wanted to find the donor, like, not because we want to contact this person, like definitely want to respect privacy, but I need to know I paid hundreds near thousands of dollars for the sperm. I need to know is this person ugly? And I need to know if this person is successful. Are they actually intelligent? Like, what...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, right-wingers come from one of our own, David doesn&apos;t learn a single lesson and pays for it, we rank the top 3 baby foods that don&apos;t taste gross, and this week we have back one of our favorites Caitlyn Plaskett from the 2.ladies.and.]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, right-wingers come from one of our own, David doesn&apos;t learn a single lesson and pays for it, we rank the top 3 baby foods that don&apos;t taste gross, and this week we have back one of our favorites Caitlyn Plaskett from the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok to update us on a scandelous story of internet sleuthing. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So normally we start every episode with uh our cold open, which is usually Gavin ruining something, mispronouncing a word, forgetting something, stumbling over something. And um I just have some really sad news this week and I wanted to share it with y&#39;all before we start the episode. This is a comedy show, but it&#39;s pretty serious. Um Gaven got through an entire recording without really fucking up once. And uh it&#39;s as hard for me as it is for you out there, I&#39;m sure. And so um I&#39;m just gonna need some time to recover um to find me again. And um I would like you all out there to respect me and my family&#39;s privacy at this time. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:00 Um, we have many amazing guests here, and one of our first amazing guests, I mean, way back. You remember Jose Rolone? He was like number two? Number three. No. But he was in the he was in the top ten for sure. David: 1:13 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:13 He was at single digits. So that poor guy has been skewered by idiots recently, on like the the the you know, the Breitbart kind of world, by a guy named Stu Peters, who decided that a good use of his platform, which by the way, is huge in the um, you know, the not the Twitter sphere, obviously, but like the whole, I don&#39;t know, Trumpian world of um hate mongering. And he has a huge following, and he decided that it to be informative in the world, he was gonna go after NYC gay dad, Jose Roland, and um made an entire Tucker Carlson-like uh speech rant 15 segment about Jose and his and Jose&#39;s excellent parenting. I mean you&#39;re doing something right when you&#39;ve got Stu Peters coming after you, I suppose, for 17 minutes, because uh he really Stu was hot under the collar. David: 2:08 You have to think you have to think about it that way, because if you try to ingest what the actual thing that&#39;s going on, which is this vile fucking hate coming towards you, you&#39;re gonna get poisoned to death. Yeah. So to have we have you have to like, you really do have to think about it as like I&#39;m doing something right if I&#39;m angering the people I despise. But 100%. You know, and you know that they&#39;re cut they&#39;re coming for him. They&#39;re like, oh, you&#39;re a bad dad because you&#39;re gay or whatever. It&#39;s like, no, yeah, you&#39;re going to affect my kids&#39; neg lives negatively for doing this exact thing. For coming for putting them in the spotlight. Oh God, it&#39;s so gross. Gavin: 2:44 Which is totally what Jose&#39;s doing, too. He&#39;s taking him to task and being able to, I mean, this has been an ongoing TikTok saga for him, but he&#39;s been um saying, listen, I stand by everything that I do, and just because this man is so frankly closeted. I mean, you know the guy has skeletons in his closet if he cares this much, but he&#39;s like showing the videos of uh videos that Jose has made about saying, like, hey, sometimes I let my kids go into my closet and pull out my wigs. I don&#39;t think Jose is a drag queen, but you know, hey, who doesn&#39;t like to drag it out? David: 3:18 Who doesn&#39;t have a wig in their closet? Yeah. Gavin: 3:19 Well, who doesn&#39;t want to have a wig in their closet? Because you know why? It&#39;s fun and it makes people laugh and it makes people happy. So um, Stu. Oh, poor guy. Poor, poor, repressed, sad Stu. Anyway, I&#39;m glad to that we are on the right side with Jose. David: 3:35 Yeah. Stu, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Jose, we love you. We&#39;re on your side. So uh let me just tell you about how uh I don&#39;t listen to my own advice and I&#39;m a terrible parent. Um I a daycare was closed, of course, because it&#39;s always closed. That&#39;s another rant for every day. And I was like, you know what? I&#39;m gonna take uh my daughter who is two, I&#39;m gonna take her to the YMCA. I know there&#39;s like a bunch of exercise rooms that aren&#39;t um being used, and we could just play with yoga balls, we&#39;ll just walk around. It was great. We went to the workout floor, one of the trainers gave her a lollipop. I was there for like an hour and a half. It was so fun. And we&#39;re in the upstairs room, and then I hear the sound. And I&#39;m like, oh, she&#39;s pooping. I&#39;m like, I gotta change her diaper. Oh, David again did not bring the diaper bag because he thought, oh, I&#39;m just gonna pop into the YMCA, it&#39;ll be fine. For everyone out there, it&#39;s never gonna be fine. You&#39;re just gonna pop into the grocery store real quick, bring the diaper bag. So she takes probably the largest shit she&#39;s ever taken in her entire life. And I&#39;m like, what do I do? I cannot strap this poor girl into her own feces in the car seat. So we go to the the bathroom, the men&#39;s bathroom, which doesn&#39;t have a changing table in it, of course. And really at the YMCA? I know, I know, it&#39;s really bad. And then so what I did was I like I was a fucking surgeon, I had to like undo her diaper. I took some paper towels and tried to scoop out as much feces as I possibly could, throw it into the trash can, get another layer of paper towels, line her old diaper shitty diaper, and and put the disgusting half shitty diaper back on this poor little girl, strap her into the car seat. Oh man, we went directly home and directly into the bath. So lesson learned. Nope, just kidding. I&#39;ll never learn that lesson. Gavin: 5:28 You will never learn that lesson. But that, but that this is an exact a perfect example of your resilience and your creativity and your dad hackitude. So this this counts as a really good dad hack. You you scoop in, scoop it out, and then just line the thing with paper towels and hope that you aren&#39;t walking around Disneyland for the next three and a half hours because that&#39;s gonna hurt when it dries. David: 5:53 Gavin, the real dad hack is bring your fucking diaper bag wherever you go. But David just doesn&#39;t listen to David. He just speaks into a microphone to um our listener. Gavin: 6:04 So speaking of the YMCA, uh, I was at our local YMCA just recently because I was with my son and some of his fellow Cub Scouts, and we were doing a swim test. And I don&#39;t know when the last time you walked into the YMCA with five uh 10-year-old boys. But all I could think was, oh God, we&#39;re gonna go have we&#39;re gonna have to go through the locker room. Because, you know, the YMCA locker room tends to be fully naked people who should a 90-year-old naked many year old man should not be naked. Now powdering their balls for some reason. I&#39;m I am 100% about body positivity, nudity, whatever. Uh, but also I&#39;m American and I&#39;m not European, so part of me does, I can&#39;t help but be a little judgmental. And also, like the whole like letting it all just hang out. Wow, a bunch of 10-year-olds are walking by, who are squealingly laughing the entire time, shocked beyond all belief, because probably this is the first time they&#39;ve done such a thing. It was a real memorable experience. And I did, I mean, I had to say, guys, stop pointing and please try to stop laughing. But you know they will have that. David: 7:27 I wouldn&#39;t have been able to. I would have laughed the whole time. I&#39;d be like, look at those old balls. Gavin: 7:33 Well, this saw them, and they will have PTSD for the rest of their lives. But it is a human body, yay! Celebrate positivity, but also maybe don&#39;t stand like a starfish. Well, that&#39;s not what happened. I don&#39;t mean to make it sound gross. There was nothing lascivious or gross or anything about it. It was just naked dudes at the YMCA, but still, you know. This is the gay agenda. David: 7:54 Um, so before we um move on to our top three list, I wanted to just really quickly talk to our listener directly. Listener. Mom. Um I I we don&#39;t talk about this very often because it&#39;s annoying when I listen to it on other podcasts. But I think it&#39;s in our best interest just to every once in a while remind listeners, how listener, how important it is for us as a show, as a show who wants to be out in the world, to have you all, the listener, share the show. Yes, uh, review us, uh, like our Instagram posts, share our Instagram handle. It&#39;s so annoying. Everyone and every YouTube, like and subscribe. But here&#39;s why. The way the algorithm works, if you are searching for a gay dad show or comedy parenting show, it&#39;s not our show is not just gonna automatically come up. The algorithm likes shows that are active. Luckily, we release every single week pretty consistently, but shows that are being shared, liked, all that stuff. And also just getting in front of people. There are probably a billion podcasts out there, but I only listed the the six I listened to because they were personally recommended to me or they were shared via my friends. So the the reason I bring this up is we would like to move on to from our 77 cents that we made in 2023 into something a little bit more full-time so we can keep doing this for you all. So, our ask for you this week is whatever show you like the best, uh uh coming out in the next couple weeks, if you wouldn&#39;t mind posting it to your Instagram stories, uh sending us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, share it in whatever way you feel comfortable. It would help us out so fucking much. And I promise not to bring it up again for another six months. But if you can do a little something for us, it would mean the world. And maybe we can hire an intern again to do more stuff. Gavin: 9:43 So we&#39;ll tag team on this. David won&#39;t talk about it for another six months, but I&#39;m gonna talk about it in six weeks. But yes, whatever you can do to just give us a boost, we would really appreciate it. It doesn&#39;t take too much time. Moving on, do we have a top three list, David? David: 10:00 We do, and it&#39;s your top three list, must I remind you. I am this week three, week three of you being surprised about the same bit we&#39;ve been doing for 55 episodes. The top three lists that you chose last week. Gavin: 10:17 I am prepared. David: 10:18 Okay, I am prepared. Gavin: 10:20 No, I am prepared, but I did forget that this was my suggestion. Because uh anyway, so um number three for oh excuse me. So the top three list was top three baby foods that aren&#39;t gross. So for number three for mine is French fries. Yes, they were baby foods as often as they possibly could be, and my kids loved them. So, no, they were they they were able to gum them as soon as possible, and we are a French fry friendly family. Number two, puffs. Puffs still exist, don&#39;t they? David: 10:52 Good old puffs. Love a puff. Gavin: 10:55 Also because they feel so guilt-free, because you&#39;re like, this is just air, and it kind of quenches my uh hunger when I&#39;m sitting at a playground and I might as well just be part of this. But number one, this is my humble brag, is that we did make a fair amount of um baby food when our kids were babies. And mainly it was just to force feed veggies to them. And so I made this kind of blend of spinach, olive oil, salt, and pepper, um, and just green, we called them greenies, and I would make them like once a week, and we froze them, and I would just microwave them real quick, and my kids ate the greenies all the time. And then it wasn&#39;t too long after I was like, you know what? This will just be my vegetable intake once in a while. And so basically, baby food spinach was like, eh, it&#39;s not good. I wouldn&#39;t serve it to my friends, but it&#39;s good enough for me right now. What about you? What are top three baby foods that aren&#39;t gross? David: 11:48 Yes, I can&#39;t believe you said french fries. That is that is not a baby food. It is a food you fed your baby, which we&#39;ll all have CPS talk to you about. Therefore, it was a baby food. And so number three for me, pouches. Pouches are just fruit purees, and it&#39;s just basically an unfrozen smoothie. So pouches, number three. Gavin: 12:06 You know what? I was gonna say pouches, but I felt I was cheating because it&#39;s like that&#39;s just baby food in a pouch. That&#39;s all it is. It could be sweeped, it just doesn&#39;t have the Gerber label on it, you know? Anyway, pardon me. David: 12:16 Uh, and number two for me, uh, this is a food that we feed our kids, but I so we consider it a baby food, but is frozen peas. We use this hack. They love frozen peas as a snack. It is their favorite thing. And it tastes like little balls of ice cream that is not sweet. I know it&#39;s hard to describe, sure, but frozen peas. It&#39;s like that space, the space ice cream, the space bowls, whatever they are. Yeah. Um, and number one, something that I will sit down and just flat out fucking eat. Uh-oh. Teething crackers. They are delicious. They melt in your mouth. Um, they feel substantial, but they just disappear. I fucking love teething crackers. I&#39;ll eat some today just to piss Gavin off. Um, this does remind me. I&#39;m gonna take a slight detour. Gavin: 13:00 My favorite eating basically my kids&#39; food moment was several years ago when I was just so tired in the morning and I was making lunch for my kids, and I pulled out their old lunch from the day before, and it was some kind of bologna sandwich. And I started to eat it, and I thought, I&#39;m making my breakfast from my children&#39;s leftover lunch. And I looked at it, I looked at it and I kind of shrugged and was like, eh, it&#39;s still good. And so I kept eating their leftover, probably half-spoiled ham and cheese sandwich um from the day before. But I don&#39;t think that was any that was probably about the grossest thing that um wasn&#39;t French fries, puffs, or greenies. Anyway, what is next week&#39;s topic, David? David: 13:43 Uh, next week is gonna be the top three ways you thought you&#39;d be cooler as a parent than you turned out to be. Gavin: 13:49 I can&#39;t wait to think this was my topic. David: 13:52 Okay, so our special, special guest this week is arguably one of my favorite people on the planet, and I have never met her in person. But we text all the time, and I&#39;m obsessed with her. Please welcome back to the show, Caitlin Plaskin. Hi, Caitlin. Um, so you reached out to me um what, a couple weeks ago, maybe a couple months ago, and you were like, girl. And then there was a series of dramatic texts that followed, and a whole conversation that happened. And I was like, you&#39;ve got to come back on the show and tell us all about it because I think it&#39;s something that all parents, but gay parents specifically, would really find interesting. So please tell us what happened. SPEAKER_00: 14:31 Absolutely. Okay, so backtrack a little bit. I explained in our first episode how you go on a website to find your donor for sperm to, you know, make the baby, all that, and like it&#39;s like online dating, but you only get to see baby photos of them and et cetera, et cetera. So I matched with a family who use the same donor and they don&#39;t live in this country, they&#39;re in another country, but we have stayed in touch. It&#39;s the only family we&#39;ve matched with so far, and they have little girls that are similar in age to my boys. So we had talked about we wanted to find the donor, like, not because we want to contact this person, like definitely want to respect privacy, but I need to know I paid hundreds near thousands of dollars for the sperm. I need to know is this person ugly? And I need to know if this person is successful. Are they actually intelligent? Like, what...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, right-wingers come from one of our own, David doesn&apos;t learn a single lesson and pays for it, we rank the top 3 baby foods that don&apos;t taste gross, and this week we have back one of our favorites Caitlyn Plaskett from the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok to update us on a scandelous story of internet sleuthing. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So normally we start every episode with uh our cold open, which is usually Gavin ruining something, mispronouncing a word, forgetting something, stumbling over something. And um I just have some really sad news this week and I wanted to share it with y&#39;all before we start the episode. This is a comedy show, but it&#39;s pretty serious. Um Gaven got through an entire recording without really fucking up once. And uh it&#39;s as hard for me as it is for you out there, I&#39;m sure. And so um I&#39;m just gonna need some time to recover um to find me again. And um I would like you all out there to respect me and my family&#39;s privacy at this time. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Gavin: 1:00 Um, we have many amazing guests here, and one of our first amazing guests, I mean, way back. You remember Jose Rolone? He was like number two? Number three. No. But he was in the he was in the top ten for sure. David: 1:13 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:13 He was at single digits. So that poor guy has been skewered by idiots recently, on like the the the you know, the Breitbart kind of world, by a guy named Stu Peters, who decided that a good use of his platform, which by the way, is huge in the um, you know, the not the Twitter sphere, obviously, but like the whole, I don&#39;t know, Trumpian world of um hate mongering. And he has a huge following, and he decided that it to be informative in the world, he was gonna go after NYC gay dad, Jose Roland, and um made an entire Tucker Carlson-like uh speech rant 15 segment about Jose and his and Jose&#39;s excellent parenting. I mean you&#39;re doing something right when you&#39;ve got Stu Peters coming after you, I suppose, for 17 minutes, because uh he really Stu was hot under the collar. David: 2:08 You have to think you have to think about it that way, because if you try to ingest what the actual thing that&#39;s going on, which is this vile fucking hate coming towards you, you&#39;re gonna get poisoned to death. Yeah. So to have we have you have to like, you really do have to think about it as like I&#39;m doing something right if I&#39;m angering the people I despise. But 100%. You know, and you know that they&#39;re cut they&#39;re coming for him. They&#39;re like, oh, you&#39;re a bad dad because you&#39;re gay or whatever. It&#39;s like, no, yeah, you&#39;re going to affect my kids&#39; neg lives negatively for doing this exact thing. For coming for putting them in the spotlight. Oh God, it&#39;s so gross. Gavin: 2:44 Which is totally what Jose&#39;s doing, too. He&#39;s taking him to task and being able to, I mean, this has been an ongoing TikTok saga for him, but he&#39;s been um saying, listen, I stand by everything that I do, and just because this man is so frankly closeted. I mean, you know the guy has skeletons in his closet if he cares this much, but he&#39;s like showing the videos of uh videos that Jose has made about saying, like, hey, sometimes I let my kids go into my closet and pull out my wigs. I don&#39;t think Jose is a drag queen, but you know, hey, who doesn&#39;t like to drag it out? David: 3:18 Who doesn&#39;t have a wig in their closet? Yeah. Gavin: 3:19 Well, who doesn&#39;t want to have a wig in their closet? Because you know why? It&#39;s fun and it makes people laugh and it makes people happy. So um, Stu. Oh, poor guy. Poor, poor, repressed, sad Stu. Anyway, I&#39;m glad to that we are on the right side with Jose. David: 3:35 Yeah. Stu, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Jose, we love you. We&#39]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, right-wingers come from one of our own, David doesn&apos;t learn a single lesson and pays for it, we rank the top 3 baby foods that don&apos;t taste gross, and this week we have back one of our favorites Caitlyn Plaskett from the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok to update us on a scandelous story of internet sleuthing. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So normally we start every episode with uh our cold open, which is usually Gavin ruining something, mispronouncing a word, forgetting something, stumbling over something. And um I just have some really sad news this week and I wanted to share it with y&#39;all before we start the episode. This is a comedy show, but it&#39;s pretty serious. Um Gaven got through an entire recording without really fucking up once. And uh it&#39;s as hard for me as it is for you out there, I&#39;m sure. And so um I&#39;m just gon]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Jamie Grayson &#8211; Part Deux!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jamie-grayson-part-deux-2/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 Feb 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, the world gets to meet &#34;spicy David,&#34; we are all gutted from some TikTok, Gavin is in his &#34;year of lasts,&#34; we rank the top 3 things about surrogacy that were no big deal, and this week we are simply agog at the return of one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, who gives us an update on the world of baby gear, who he&apos;s in an internet fight with, and if that simple syrup is still in his fridge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin, so I have our listener saying, and this is Gay Trucks for our cold open, but our cold open is usually preceded by you failing somehow. Gavin: 0:07 So can you quickly fail? There&#39;s some way that I&#39;m going to be able to um uh uh s fa screw this up, yes. And um in my usual in um ineloquence, I think. David: 0:21 Some like somehow like that monologue. Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 0:24 And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. SPEAKER_12: 0:29 And this is gay triarcs. And this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs. Please. SPEAKER_01: 0:38 Please! And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:56 David, I had so much fun this weekend. What did you do this weekend? Oh my god, I had the best time. David: 1:03 Really? First of all, we are recording this on a Monday before the Wednesday release. So we&#39;re like kind of in time. Normally we record a couple weeks in advance, but like this is basically a fresh episode. Gavin: 1:16 This is in real life and in real time, for sure. A fresh one that is certified fresh and on the cusp of making news, I&#39;m sure. But we, you and I, hung out together this weekend. Sure did. A couple of our closest friends, didn&#39;t we? Our newest and closest friends, without a doubt. We had our meetup, and David, on the scale of one to OMG, what was your level of anxiety that absolutely nobody would show up? David: 1:42 Oh, a million. I texted you a hundred times before this as we were like coordinating like who&#39;s bringing the balloons or whatever. And I was like, what if no one shows up? Yes. What if we are the only people in this park with like 40 juice boxes? Yeah. And like, like, and you&#39;re bringing in alcohol. And you know, it was raining that morning. It was raining in the morning. It was gray, it was overpassed. Gavin: 2:04 We were inventing a million different reasons to just call the whole thing off. But also, it was gonna be in a public place, so they we were like, we&#39;ll just pretend that all of these people are here for us. David: 2:15 But when we got there, there was still nobody there because it was so gray and rainy and wet. Like it&#39;s a public park. Gavin: 2:20 But anyway, and also who shows up on time. That would be blame. David: 2:23 That is only me when I&#39;m under duress. That is true. But we we did do it, and I&#39;m so gl thankful we did. Yeah, so thankful our listener suggested we do it, and I&#39;m so thankful to men having babies for partnering because thank you, men having babies. Yes, if you saw on our Instagram feed, a lot of people came, a lot of really great dads that we have never met, some listener that we have messaged with before. Um, we had a lot of so fantastic. It was so fun, and I&#39;m so glad we did it. And I&#39;m I was so nervous, and now I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m like, whatever. Gavin: 2:52 We have to And now we&#39;re on the other side, and our imposter syndrome is over, and we&#39;ll try to um schedule something even bigger and grander next year to also give us tremendous anxiety about throwing a party that nobody comes up to, but for sure bigger. David: 3:04 I I got a couple of messages from a couple of listeners who were like, you know, oh, I&#39;m so jealous, I missed this or whatever. Please come out to name of country or area they live next time. And I was like, oh God, that&#39;s gonna fill me with even more anxiety because I&#39;m like, we&#39;re gonna do this in the UK. But listen, I promised my future ex-husband, Liam, we would do it in the UK. Um, I know some I got a lot of messages from people all over the world saying, Oh, like I wish I could have come, or can you come here next? Listen, I hope someday this podcast is big enough to where we can go on a tour, like our friend Ellen, who just goes on tour and all of her listeners come in. She has listeners. We have listeners. Gavin: 3:40 But I want to give you a. But you know what? Our listener, though, is it&#39;s it&#39;s a more sincere relationship, don&#39;t you think? It&#39;s more intimate. Listener is devoted. David: 3:49 They are devoted and they are wonderful. And I will say, I have to give a special shout out, and I know you know who I&#39;m gonna talk about. Oh, yes, I do. Our listener, the one we met, Daniel, you know who you are. Daniel showed up, he introed himself, we talked a little bit. He was like, Oh, I I thank you for the show, and we were just chatting. And then he was like, I have to show you something, and he started unzipping his jacket. Gavin: 4:13 And he did make the disclaimer, I hope this doesn&#39;t seem a little creepy as he was un uh unzipping his jacket. David: 4:20 And listen, this this is the start of many of my ex-boyfriend&#39;s relationships. So I was I was ready. I was like, Daniel, I&#39;m prepared. But if you saw the Instagram feed, he was the one in the white shirt, he made a t-shirt that says listener. And it was so fucking funny and so beautiful and so wonderful. And I don&#39;t, I didn&#39;t tell you this, Gavin. I got a couple messages from people saying, wait, do you guys have merch? I want to buy that shirt. And I was like, oh man, we&#39;re missing out. But Daniel, so so funny, so hilarious, so great to meet you. He was very thankful for the show. So was a lot of you. We we met, you guys all had really nice things to say to us. A couple of you showed up and were like, oh, I&#39;ve never heard of the show before. Gavin: 5:00 And we thought it was all about us, but really, that&#39;s another shout out to men having babies. So thank you so much for partnering with us and amplifying this and part and and being part of it as well. It was great to meet Ronnie. Ron Ron. Ron. Oh, thank God. I&#39;m not cutting that out. David: 5:14 I&#39;m not cutting that out. I hope he used that. Gavin: 5:16 It was so great to meet Ron and um his kid and his husband Josh, and that was super fun. And also, I want to give another shout-out to listener. The fact that um he and his partner are um just on the baby track. They don&#39;t have a kid yet, but they&#39;ve been listening to us for a long time, which is it was reassuring to know that um all of the bullshit we spew is creating community, and that is the entire point of this. Also, community of rejects who don&#39;t want to pretend that parenting is just goop and fabulosity on Instagram, but rather um very hard and very wonderful and very rewarding and very hard. David: 5:52 And very hard. And guess what? Uh uh you just heard our cold open was how a lot of our listener at the park gave in, recorded a bunch of people saying, uh, and this is gay charts for a cold open. You&#39;re gonna hear from them a little later in the episode as well. This is this is a listener, this is this episode is dedicated to our listener. So thank you for that. Gavin: 6:11 And not just you, listener, but you and you and you and you listener as well. Correct, correct. Um, what else did you do for pride this year, Gabin? Well, then I did have the rest of the day. I so I was not able to go collapse like I kind of wanted to, but I was able to go ride city bikes with my son and his friend who came down with me, and that was super fun and terrifying that we were riding across 57th Street, uh, me with two uh 12-year-olds not wearing helmets, riding across New York City. That was a little uh harrowing, but we used bike lanes and we were down the West Side Highway, and all I could think was now the sun is out and I didn&#39;t put any sunscreen on, but we stopped along the way. It was it was really great. And then that night I had friends in who happened to be in town, actually, um Rachel and Brent, who showed up at the um meetup that morning, and uh we walked the village because they had never done so before. And I&#39;m like, well, tonight is the night. There we were Saturday night walking the village, and me just more being like, look at this fantastic part of New York City and history and whatnot. And also, oh, there goes boobies, and uh, there&#39;s uh definitely two dudes doing more than just making out up against a uh building, and it was awesome. And the kids were kind of asking, we were having a very clinical conversation also about what, for instance, is the definition of a drag queen and what is uh why are there women running around walking around with no shirts on? And I&#39;m like, listen, kiddos, we are we are not in country mice right now. Yeah, I will say that it was all a bit tamer than I thought it was gonna be. David: 7:40 Yeah, it&#39;s definitely tamed down, which I think has been a criticism from the gay community that it&#39;s gotten too family friendly. And I and Dan Savage, who I will be talking about later for our top three list, um, often says, like, I get the inclusivity and how it&#39;s tamed down that maybe we should have like, you know, pre-6 p.m., that is the family friendly kind of corporate pride that we are doing now. Yeah. Post 6 p.m., do not bring your kids here because we will be doing butt stuff in public. And so I think that&#39;s totally great. Gavin: 8:08 I was walking around Washington Square Park at 10:45 at night. I was not expecting anything to be G-rated, and I don&#39;t think it was like corporate and I mean, I kind of feel like I was the only person walking around with kids, but still, even in the dark and the music playing and people dancing all over the Washington Square Park fountain, which was very cool. And had I not had children there, I absolutely would have been in that disgusting water part of the dance party. Uh, but I think it was just a dance party, which is cool, but like a more You wanted a little edge. I it was PG 13 and not triple X, which I was at least let&#39;s land on an R. Do you know what I mean? A strong NC17. Can we, please? Totally. Uh it was PG 13. Um anyway, but it was great. David: 8:54 What about you for the rest of the day? Um, well, the rest of the day, I uh what what was hilarious was at the meetup, certain people would come up to me and they&#39;re like, oh, like, you know, I I feel like I know you so much better than you know me. And that that&#39;s always a weird thing when people, you know, have listened to this show for what, a hundred and what is this, 113 episodes? Crazy. And they know so much about you, and you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know anything about you. But um, a couple of people, because I brought my son and my daughter, a couple of people were like, oh, that&#39;s her. Like people were we&#39;re now making connections between the crying toddler next to me and the crying toddler I constantly mention. And that was really funny. Um, no, but uh we didn&#39;t really do much for the rest of the day, but I do want to like mention two things is what you know, one is that I and this is too Gavin, too Gavin lodge of me, but forgive me, is that like this year, more than any other year, I&#39;ve noticed the importance of the visibility of having pride flags out. Yep. Because I uh the world is, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, the world is majorly fucked up right now. It&#39;s on fire. It&#39;s on fire, and gay people are next. We know we&#39;re coming, it&#39;s coming for, it&#39;s been coming for us and our trans brothers and sisters and stuff. But um, you know, in my neighborhood and neighborhoods I&#39;m in, in the world, seeing somebody wearing the shirt, seeing somebody&#39;s flag in their yard, it just feels really good. It gives me just a little minute of feeling of safety. Yep. And we have like a five foot by three foot pride flag that always makes us very uncomfortable because you can see it a mile away. And then every year we go, this is the fucking point. Yeah. The point is to stick our neck out a little bit because somebody is gonna walk by and say some shit. Um, and so that is one thing I want to say. And the other thing was like the I love the family-friendly pride stuff because I think it&#39;s important to have kids around this stuff. Now, I&#39;m not talking about the NC 17 stuff. I do think there should be a separation of that. Yes. But I do think kids should be around drag queens and multi-kid, uh, multi-parent families and all that kind of stuff. And so I&#39;m very thankful for the prides around me, North Jersey Pride in particular. That is, it&#39;s all of that. It is all of that, and it&#39;s so normal. The kids are just there for ice cream and the film party. Yeah, they&#39;re not trying to make a stand or be activists and that sort of thing. I think it&#39;s a nice thing to normalize this stuff. So anyway, I I had a great pride this year. I did not go to the main pride in New York City because I&#39;m 45 years old and I don&#39;t do that shit. Um, but I had a great pride this year, and I&#39;m very thankful again. I&#39;ll just say it to our listener for suggesting the meetup, and the meetup was really great. And it was fun to see you. I haven&#39;t seen you in a while in person. I haven&#39;t met your kids, you haven&#39;t met my kids. Gavin: 11:23 So we haven&#39;t mentioned in a very long time how actually you and I do not know each other. I still don&#39;t know you very well. I don&#39;t know how tall you are. I don&#39;t know. I have to be reminded. Oh, you&#39;re not short. Okay. You we&#39;re the same height. David: 11:36 And when you talk, I barely listen. So I still don&#39;t know much about you. But anyway, um, speaking of our listener and pride, what are we gonna do for next year, Gavin? Because we are really good at planning. And so I just wanted to ask you, what are we gonna do for Pride next year? Gavin: 11:52 Hey, uh, first of all, we&#39;re gonna have a sugar daddy who&#39;s gonna fund us to have a marketer and actually get out there and spread this word, not because we want to have uh money ourselves, uh, but actually to build this community even further because it deserves to be. Actually, side note, one of the interesting interactions I had later on Saturday was I was out with the kids still and we were at another playground, and a guy walks up to me and he goes, Hey, what&#39;s this podcast? And luckily there was not a sense of defensiveness on my part. I could see that he had rainbow uh bracelets all over and he was super dad-like. And I&#39;m like, Oh, uh, it&#39;s this, blah, blah, blah. And we were chatting, and he&#39;s like, Well, I&#39;m a gay dad. I guess I need to start listening. And I&#39;m like, Why haven&#39;t you been listening? But we clearly Because we suck at this. Yeah, because we suck at this. So uh Sugar Daddy out there, um, just send us a marketing intern, please. That would be great. As far as uh Pride next year, I mean, let&#39;s just lean in and be let&#39;s be the change that we want to see, and let&#39;s get involved officially with New York City Pride, can we? And maybe another pride somewhere else and not just North Jersey, but like, hey, Sugar Daddy, you want to send us over to the UK to do um something there too? Oh my god, and Liam can Liam, my future ex-husband Liam, can finally join us. Yes, that would be can&#39;t wait for that. But...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, the world gets to meet &#34;spicy David,&#34; we are all gutted from some TikTok, Gavin is in his &#34;year of lasts,&#34; we rank the top 3 things about surrogacy that were no big deal, and this week we are simply agog at the return of one of]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, the world gets to meet &#34;spicy David,&#34; we are all gutted from some TikTok, Gavin is in his &#34;year of lasts,&#34; we rank the top 3 things about surrogacy that were no big deal, and this week we are simply agog at the return of one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, who gives us an update on the world of baby gear, who he&apos;s in an internet fight with, and if that simple syrup is still in his fridge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin, so I have our listener saying, and this is Gay Trucks for our cold open, but our cold open is usually preceded by you failing somehow. Gavin: 0:07 So can you quickly fail? There&#39;s some way that I&#39;m going to be able to um uh uh s fa screw this up, yes. And um in my usual in um ineloquence, I think. David: 0:21 Some like somehow like that monologue. Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 0:24 And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. SPEAKER_12: 0:29 And this is gay triarcs. And this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs. Please. SPEAKER_01: 0:38 Please! And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:56 David, I had so much fun this weekend. What did you do this weekend? Oh my god, I had the best time. David: 1:03 Really? First of all, we are recording this on a Monday before the Wednesday release. So we&#39;re like kind of in time. Normally we record a couple weeks in advance, but like this is basically a fresh episode. Gavin: 1:16 This is in real life and in real time, for sure. A fresh one that is certified fresh and on the cusp of making news, I&#39;m sure. But we, you and I, hung out together this weekend. Sure did. A couple of our closest friends, didn&#39;t we? Our newest and closest friends, without a doubt. We had our meetup, and David, on the scale of one to OMG, what was your level of anxiety that absolutely nobody would show up? David: 1:42 Oh, a million. I texted you a hundred times before this as we were like coordinating like who&#39;s bringing the balloons or whatever. And I was like, what if no one shows up? Yes. What if we are the only people in this park with like 40 juice boxes? Yeah. And like, like, and you&#39;re bringing in alcohol. And you know, it was raining that morning. It was raining in the morning. It was gray, it was overpassed. Gavin: 2:04 We were inventing a million different reasons to just call the whole thing off. But also, it was gonna be in a public place, so they we were like, we&#39;ll just pretend that all of these people are here for us. David: 2:15 But when we got there, there was still nobody there because it was so gray and rainy and wet. Like it&#39;s a public park. Gavin: 2:20 But anyway, and also who shows up on time. That would be blame. David: 2:23 That is only me when I&#39;m under duress. That is true. But we we did do it, and I&#39;m so gl thankful we did. Yeah, so thankful our listener suggested we do it, and I&#39;m so thankful to men having babies for partnering because thank you, men having babies. Yes, if you saw on our Instagram feed, a lot of people came, a lot of really great dads that we have never met, some listener that we have messaged with before. Um, we had a lot of so fantastic. It was so fun, and I&#39;m so glad we did it. And I&#39;m I was so nervous, and now I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m like, whatever. Gavin: 2:52 We have to And now we&#39;re on the other side, and our imposter syndrome is over, and we&#39;ll try to um schedule something even bigger and grander next year to also give us tremendous anxiety about throwing a party that nobody comes up to, but for sure bigger. David: 3:04 I I got a couple of messages from a couple of listeners who were like, you know, oh, I&#39;m so jealous, I missed this or whatever. Please come out to name of country or area they live next time. And I was like, oh God, that&#39;s gonna fill me with even more anxiety because I&#39;m like, we&#39;re gonna do this in the UK. But listen, I promised my future ex-husband, Liam, we would do it in the UK. Um, I know some I got a lot of messages from people all over the world saying, Oh, like I wish I could have come, or can you come here next? Listen, I hope someday this podcast is big enough to where we can go on a tour, like our friend Ellen, who just goes on tour and all of her listeners come in. She has listeners. We have listeners. Gavin: 3:40 But I want to give you a. But you know what? Our listener, though, is it&#39;s it&#39;s a more sincere relationship, don&#39;t you think? It&#39;s more intimate. Listener is devoted. David: 3:49 They are devoted and they are wonderful. And I will say, I have to give a special shout out, and I know you know who I&#39;m gonna talk about. Oh, yes, I do. Our listener, the one we met, Daniel, you know who you are. Daniel showed up, he introed himself, we talked a little bit. He was like, Oh, I I thank you for the show, and we were just chatting. And then he was like, I have to show you something, and he started unzipping his jacket. Gavin: 4:13 And he did make the disclaimer, I hope this doesn&#39;t seem a little creepy as he was un uh unzipping his jacket. David: 4:20 And listen, this this is the start of many of my ex-boyfriend&#39;s relationships. So I was I was ready. I was like, Daniel, I&#39;m prepared. But if you saw the Instagram feed, he was the one in the white shirt, he made a t-shirt that says listener. And it was so fucking funny and so beautiful and so wonderful. And I don&#39;t, I didn&#39;t tell you this, Gavin. I got a couple messages from people saying, wait, do you guys have merch? I want to buy that shirt. And I was like, oh man, we&#39;re missing out. But Daniel, so so funny, so hilarious, so great to meet you. He was very thankful for the show. So was a lot of you. We we met, you guys all had really nice things to say to us. A couple of you showed up and were like, oh, I&#39;ve never heard of the show before. Gavin: 5:00 And we thought it was all about us, but really, that&#39;s another shout out to men having babies. So thank you so much for partnering with us and amplifying this and part and and being part of it as well. It was great to meet Ronnie. Ron Ron. Ron. Oh, thank God. I&#39;m not cutting that out. David: 5:14 I&#39;m not cutting that out. I hope he used that. Gavin: 5:16 It was so great to meet Ron and um his kid and his husband Josh, and that was super fun. And also, I want to give another shout-out to listener. The fact that um he and his partner are um just on the baby track. They don&#39;t have a kid yet, but they&#39;ve been listening to us for a long time, which is it was reassuring to know that um all of the bullshit we spew is creating community, and that is the entire point of this. Also, community of rejects who don&#39;t want to pretend that parenting is just goop and fabulosity on Instagram, but rather um very hard and very wonderful and very rewarding and very hard. David: 5:52 And very hard. And guess what? Uh uh you just heard our cold open was how a lot of our listener at the park gave in, recorded a bunch of people saying, uh, and this is gay charts for a cold open. You&#39;re gonna hear from them a little later in the episode as well. This is this is a listener, this is this episode is dedicated to our listener. So thank you for that. Gavin: 6:11 And not just you, listener, but you and you and you and you listener as well. Correct, correct. Um, what else did you do for pride this year, Gabin? Well, then I did have the rest of the day. I so I was not able to go collapse like I kind of wanted to, but I was able to go ride city bikes with my son and his friend who came down with me, and that was super fun and terrifying that we were riding across 57th Street, uh, me with two uh 12-year-olds not wearing helmets, riding across New York City. That was a little uh harrowing, but we used bike lanes and we were down the West Side Highway, and all I could think was now the sun is out and I didn&#39;t put any sunscreen on, but we stopped along the way. It was it was really great. And then that night I had friends in who happened to be in town, actually, um Rachel and Brent, who showed up at the um meetup that morning, and uh we walked the village because they had never done so before. And I&#39;m like, well, tonight is the night. There we were Saturday night walking the village, and me just more being like, look at this fantastic part of New York City and history and whatnot. And also, oh, there goes boobies, and uh, there&#39;s uh definitely two dudes doing more than just making out up against a uh building, and it was awesome. And the kids were kind of asking, we were having a very clinical conversation also about what, for instance, is the definition of a drag queen and what is uh why are there women running around walking around with no shirts on? And I&#39;m like, listen, kiddos, we are we are not in country mice right now. Yeah, I will say that it was all a bit tamer than I thought it was gonna be. David: 7:40 Yeah, it&#39;s definitely tamed down, which I think has been a criticism from the gay community that it&#39;s gotten too family friendly. And I and Dan Savage, who I will be talking about later for our top three list, um, often says, like, I get the inclusivity and how it&#39;s tamed down that maybe we should have like, you know, pre-6 p.m., that is the family friendly kind of corporate pride that we are doing now. Yeah. Post 6 p.m., do not bring your kids here because we will be doing butt stuff in public. And so I think that&#39;s totally great. Gavin: 8:08 I was walking around Washington Square Park at 10:45 at night. I was not expecting anything to be G-rated, and I don&#39;t think it was like corporate and I mean, I kind of feel like I was the only person walking around with kids, but still, even in the dark and the music playing and people dancing all over the Washington Square Park fountain, which was very cool. And had I not had children there, I absolutely would have been in that disgusting water part of the dance party. Uh, but I think it was just a dance party, which is cool, but like a more You wanted a little edge. I it was PG 13 and not triple X, which I was at least let&#39;s land on an R. Do you know what I mean? A strong NC17. Can we, please? Totally. Uh it was PG 13. Um anyway, but it was great. David: 8:54 What about you for the rest of the day? Um, well, the rest of the day, I uh what what was hilarious was at the meetup, certain people would come up to me and they&#39;re like, oh, like, you know, I I feel like I know you so much better than you know me. And that that&#39;s always a weird thing when people, you know, have listened to this show for what, a hundred and what is this, 113 episodes? Crazy. And they know so much about you, and you&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know anything about you. But um, a couple of people, because I brought my son and my daughter, a couple of people were like, oh, that&#39;s her. Like people were we&#39;re now making connections between the crying toddler next to me and the crying toddler I constantly mention. And that was really funny. Um, no, but uh we didn&#39;t really do much for the rest of the day, but I do want to like mention two things is what you know, one is that I and this is too Gavin, too Gavin lodge of me, but forgive me, is that like this year, more than any other year, I&#39;ve noticed the importance of the visibility of having pride flags out. Yep. Because I uh the world is, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware, the world is majorly fucked up right now. It&#39;s on fire. It&#39;s on fire, and gay people are next. We know we&#39;re coming, it&#39;s coming for, it&#39;s been coming for us and our trans brothers and sisters and stuff. But um, you know, in my neighborhood and neighborhoods I&#39;m in, in the world, seeing somebody wearing the shirt, seeing somebody&#39;s flag in their yard, it just feels really good. It gives me just a little minute of feeling of safety. Yep. And we have like a five foot by three foot pride flag that always makes us very uncomfortable because you can see it a mile away. And then every year we go, this is the fucking point. Yeah. The point is to stick our neck out a little bit because somebody is gonna walk by and say some shit. Um, and so that is one thing I want to say. And the other thing was like the I love the family-friendly pride stuff because I think it&#39;s important to have kids around this stuff. Now, I&#39;m not talking about the NC 17 stuff. I do think there should be a separation of that. Yes. But I do think kids should be around drag queens and multi-kid, uh, multi-parent families and all that kind of stuff. And so I&#39;m very thankful for the prides around me, North Jersey Pride in particular. That is, it&#39;s all of that. It is all of that, and it&#39;s so normal. The kids are just there for ice cream and the film party. Yeah, they&#39;re not trying to make a stand or be activists and that sort of thing. I think it&#39;s a nice thing to normalize this stuff. So anyway, I I had a great pride this year. I did not go to the main pride in New York City because I&#39;m 45 years old and I don&#39;t do that shit. Um, but I had a great pride this year, and I&#39;m very thankful again. I&#39;ll just say it to our listener for suggesting the meetup, and the meetup was really great. And it was fun to see you. I haven&#39;t seen you in a while in person. I haven&#39;t met your kids, you haven&#39;t met my kids. Gavin: 11:23 So we haven&#39;t mentioned in a very long time how actually you and I do not know each other. I still don&#39;t know you very well. I don&#39;t know how tall you are. I don&#39;t know. I have to be reminded. Oh, you&#39;re not short. Okay. You we&#39;re the same height. David: 11:36 And when you talk, I barely listen. So I still don&#39;t know much about you. But anyway, um, speaking of our listener and pride, what are we gonna do for next year, Gavin? Because we are really good at planning. And so I just wanted to ask you, what are we gonna do for Pride next year? Gavin: 11:52 Hey, uh, first of all, we&#39;re gonna have a sugar daddy who&#39;s gonna fund us to have a marketer and actually get out there and spread this word, not because we want to have uh money ourselves, uh, but actually to build this community even further because it deserves to be. Actually, side note, one of the interesting interactions I had later on Saturday was I was out with the kids still and we were at another playground, and a guy walks up to me and he goes, Hey, what&#39;s this podcast? And luckily there was not a sense of defensiveness on my part. I could see that he had rainbow uh bracelets all over and he was super dad-like. And I&#39;m like, Oh, uh, it&#39;s this, blah, blah, blah. And we were chatting, and he&#39;s like, Well, I&#39;m a gay dad. I guess I need to start listening. And I&#39;m like, Why haven&#39;t you been listening? But we clearly Because we suck at this. Yeah, because we suck at this. So uh Sugar Daddy out there, um, just send us a marketing intern, please. That would be great. As far as uh Pride next year, I mean, let&#39;s just lean in and be let&#39;s be the change that we want to see, and let&#39;s get involved officially with New York City Pride, can we? And maybe another pride somewhere else and not just North Jersey, but like, hey, Sugar Daddy, you want to send us over to the UK to do um something there too? Oh my god, and Liam can Liam, my future ex-husband Liam, can finally join us. Yes, that would be can&#39;t wait for that. But...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, the world gets to meet &#34;spicy David,&#34; we are all gutted from some TikTok, Gavin is in his &#34;year of lasts,&#34; we rank the top 3 things about surrogacy that were no big deal, and this week we are simply agog at the return of one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, who gives us an update on the world of baby gear, who he&apos;s in an internet fight with, and if that simple syrup is still in his fridge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin, so I have our listener saying, and this is Gay Trucks for our cold open, but our cold open is usually preceded by you failing somehow. Gavin: 0:07 So can you quickly fail? There&#39;s some way that I&#39;m going to be able to um uh uh s fa screw this up, yes. And um in my usual in um ineloquence, I think. David: 0:21 Some like somehow like that monologue. Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 0:24 And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. SPEAKER_12: 0:29 And this is gay triarcs. And this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs. Please. SPEAKER_01: 0:38 Please! And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:56 David, I had so much fun this weekend. What did you do this weekend? Oh my god, I had the best time. David: 1:03 Really? First of all, we are recording this on a Monday before the Wednesday release. So we&#39;re like kind of in time. Normally we record a couple weeks in advance, but like this is basically a fresh episode. Gavin: 1:16 This is in real life and in real time, for sure. A fresh one that is certified fresh and on the cusp of making news, I&#39;m sure. But we, you and I, hung out together this weekend. Sure did. A couple of our closest friends, didn&#39;t we? Our newest and closest friends, without a doubt. We had our meetup, and David, on the scale of one to OMG, what was your level of anxiety that absolutely nobody would show up? David: 1:42 Oh, a million. I texted you a hundred times before this as we were like coordinating like who&#39;s bringing the balloons or whatever. And I was like, what if no one shows up? Yes. What if we are the only people in this park with like 40 juice boxes? Yeah. And like, like, and you&#39;re bringing in alcohol. And you know, it was raining that morning. It was raining in the morning. It was gray, it was overpassed. Gavin: 2:04 We were inventing a million different reasons to just call the whole thing off. But also, it was gonna be in a public place, so they we were like, we&#39;ll just pretend that all of these people are here for us. David: 2:15 But when we got there, there was still nobody there because it was so gray and rainy and wet. Like it&#39;s a public park. Gavin: 2:20 But anyway, and also who shows up on time. That would be blame. David: 2:23 That is only me when I&#39;m under duress. That is true. But we we did do it, and I&#39;m so gl thankful we did. Yeah, so thankful our listener suggested we do it, and I&#39;m so thankful to men having babies for partnering because thank you, men having babies. Yes, if you saw on our Instagram feed, a lot of people came, a lot of really great dads that we have never met, some listener that we have messaged with before. Um, we had a lot of so fantastic. It was so fun, and I&#39;m so glad we did it. And I&#39;m I was so nervous, and now I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m like, whatever. Gavin: 2:52 We have to And now we&#39;re on the other side, and our imposter syndrome is over, and we&#39;ll try to um schedule something even bigger and grander next year to also give us tremendous anxiety about throwing a party that nobody comes up to, but for sure bigger. David: 3:04 I I got a couple of messages from a couple of listeners who were like, you know, oh, I&#39;m so jealous, I missed this or whatever. Please come out to name of country or area they live next time. And I was like, oh God, that&#39;s gonna fill me with even more anxiety bec]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, the world gets to meet &#34;spicy David,&#34; we are all gutted from some TikTok, Gavin is in his &#34;year of lasts,&#34; we rank the top 3 things about surrogacy that were no big deal, and this week we are simply agog at the return of one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, who gives us an update on the world of baby gear, who he&apos;s in an internet fight with, and if that simple syrup is still in his fridge. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Gavin, so I have our listener saying, and this is Gay Trucks for our cold open, but our cold open is usually preceded by you failing somehow. Gavin: 0:07 So can you quickly fail? There&#39;s some way that I&#39;m going to be able to um uh uh s fa screw this up, yes. And um in my usual in um ineloquence, I think. David: 0:21 Some like somehow like that monologue. Yeah. SPEAKER_02: 0:24 And this is gatriarchs.]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with the Military Dads &#8211; Part Deux!</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-the-military-dads-part-deux/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 21 Feb 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is still going on and on about the Groundhog Musical on TikTok, we talk about not being able to restrain your kids anymore (please don&apos;t call CPS), we go over our top 3 moments in gay history, and we are lucky to be joined AGAIN by Brazil&apos;s best gay Dads, Will Silva and James Issac, who update us on their new life as gay dads, our new daycare idea, and what they think is in store for the next 9 months of their lives. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll make your hips not lie. Nope. That&#39;s you were like, I was like Shakira? Nope. Nope. It didn&#39;t come out the way I meant it to. David: 0:10 And that&#39;s wait. And this is Thanks. Gavin: 0:15 Wow. My hips don&#39;t lie. My hips don&#39;t lie. Thanks. And we won&#39;t thanks. And we won&#39;t lie to you with our hips? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. And we&#39;ll we&#39;ll make your hips lie. Thanks. And we&#39;ll make you feel something in your hips. David: 0:32 Oh, that&#39;s a good one. And this is Gate Juggs. So remember how my something great last episode was the Groundhog musical? Gavin: 0:56 I hope all of our listeners out there went down a serious rabbit hole because I know I did, because I didn&#39;t know about it. David: 1:03 That was highly entertaining. That&#39;s good, right? So now, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve seen this, but now not only have there been multiple singers doing multiple parts, but now somebody added a full orchestration to this thing. Somebody got on their MIDI controller and created like strings and trumpets and like it is this full fucking musical. And I saw some people doing like non-singing talent where they were like ensemble member in the background. I was just like, this it this app is so full of smart and funny people. Yes. Gavin: 1:38 Oh, it&#39;s the best of times and it&#39;s the worst of times. David: 1:40 It couldn&#39;t be better said. Um, I anyway. So for those of you who are following the Groundhog musical, it&#39;s amazing. And now there are full orchestrations too. Gavin: 1:48 And we can&#39;t wait for the original writer. What&#39;s his name again? David: 1:51 Oh fuck. Uh Oliver Richmond, I think. Gavin: 1:55 Oliver something. David: 1:56 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:56 We can&#39;t wait to have Oliver on as a guest. Oh, that&#39;s a good idea. Fantastic. That&#39;s a really good idea. David: 2:01 I don&#39;t know if he&#39;s gay or a dad, but who cares, right? This is our show. We can do it for real. See no limitations. We it we we embrace all here. So let&#39;s talk about limitations a little bit because I have been experiencing something this week that you have already experienced and it&#39;s new for me, which is a lot of parenting for me when it comes to limiting my kids, right? Access to the fridge, um, don&#39;t go outside, whatever like the physical limitations are that you keeping the knives out of their way or whatever. I&#39;m finding that my my son, who&#39;s four, four and a half now, is now I can&#39;t physically restrain him in the way I used to. And I don&#39;t mean like I can&#39;t beat him up. I could should could for sure beat this fucker up. But I mean like he&#39;s tall enough without standing on a stool to reach on the countertop all the way to the back. I used to put like knives on the back or or cookies or whatever I don&#39;t want him to touch. He is so capable. I&#39;m watching him grab chairs from the dining room and bring it and unlocking things. And so I don&#39;t know what to do now that I can&#39;t physically restrain my children anymore, other than I just have to rely on my negotiating skills, which are terrible. What do I do, Gavin? Gavin: 3:14 That&#39;s uh I did not realize that&#39;s the turn that this was gonna take because I saw in our outline you talking about physical restraint, and I thought you meant literally holding him back, like if he&#39;s getting mad or angry or sad or something. No, which I had a whole tirade to go on for that. This is a pivot I wasn&#39;t expecting. But in terms of, yeah, hiding, keeping stuff out of reach and and restraining their physical reach. Ooh boy. I mean, I don&#39;t know. David: 3:37 They reach and their access too. Like my front door has like a lock that&#39;s hard to turn, and it&#39;s been locked whenever I don&#39;t want them to leave. And now he can unlock it. So I have to rely on either being around him 24-7 or him knowing you can&#39;t go out front without a parent. Gavin: 3:51 And figuring out those trust issues and and knowing that they have their limits and they they self-impose them and they&#39;re not gonna go out without asking. Oh, I you dude, you are out on a raft with that one. I don&#39;t do. I mean, I gotta say, I&#39;ve never had a runner. Neither of my kids has ever tried to sneak out. Oh, hold on. We did have a but this is completely different. As a 10-year-old, we had a sleepover a couple of weeks ago, and my partner got up in the middle of the night, as one does, walking in the bathroom or something, saw flashlights outside the house at 2 30 in the morning. And we were we hit the roof, and then we&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know. I mean, they weren&#39;t gonna do it anymore. David: 4:35 Wait, was it your kids outside the flashlights? Oh, okay. You didn&#39;t finish the story. I was like, where&#39;s the SWAT team? Gavin: 4:39 What the fuck was happening at your house? No, it was my son and his friend, and they just decided we couldn&#39;t sleep. So they went outside to play flashlight tag. Now, admittedly, we live on a dirt road. How many times do I have to say that? We do admittedly live near a huge body of water, but I&#39;m not worried about that anymore. So um it was like, uh, it&#39;s not that big a deal. Now, if my two-year-old, I know somebody, dear friend, hopefully longtime listener, hi Paul, whose son sleepwalks. They got a call in the middle of the night, middle of the night. He ignored his call, his phone, because he&#39;s like, you know, who knows what it is. And then their landline rang, which is something that would wake you up in 2024. It was their kid in a panic calling from outside on the streets of New York City, calling from somebody&#39;s iPad. I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know how to unpack that part, but somebody at one or one or two in the morning was like, little boy, why are you outside on uh 86th Street barefoot? Because he sleepwalked out of the house, out of the building, took the elevator! Wow. Uh-huh. Didn&#39;t realize it until the door clicked shut and he panicked, realizing he couldn&#39;t get back into the house. David: 5:50 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. West 86 or East 86? East. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. He could have died. Wow. That&#39;s terrifying. Gavin: 6:01 And so now they have an alarm on their door in case somebody opens it from the inside. Not to keep people out, but to keep the children in. unknown: 6:09 Wow. Gavin: 6:09 Yeah, bonkers, huh? So, but I&#39;ve never had that worry. And now I do, of course, thinking, oh great, one of my kids is gonna sleepwalk out into the uh a body of water behind. David: 6:19 Or murder you. Like go to the kitchen and grab a knife. Gavin: 6:22 You hold keeping those knives out of the way, I don&#39;t know. I these are not things that keep me up at night. I have so many other things I need to worry about, like, you know, democracy and gratitude. SPEAKER_04: 6:33 So Jesus. Gavin: 6:34 Well, to make you feel even more paranoid about the world, I&#39;ve got some bad news and some good news, and then some bad news from the world of, you know, the gay world, all right? So I know that you don&#39;t believe in newspapers and news and whatnot. So luckily I&#39;m here for you to be America&#39;s finest news source, right? Wow. I am a news junkie, but continue. Guess what? In Russia, they&#39;re now blaming their invasion of Ukraine on the gays. David: 6:58 Yay! We finally did something. Gavin: 7:01 We are the cause of, you know, Russia being able to justify its invasion and murder of, you know, hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians because they needed to squelch any semblance of the gay agenda, even in Ukraine. So, you know, you&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s our fault. As if Congress needed more reason to support these people, or more reasons to apparently not support them. Okay, thanks a lot. David: 7:23 One side of the aisle, but I&#39;ve said this before, and I&#39;ll say it again. There are two items on the gay agenda: cruising and brunch. Brunch. It is not about invading Ukraine at all. Come on, people. Gavin: 7:36 And it is not about recruiting people to be gay either, because y&#39;all, we&#39;re fine with our population. We&#39;re good. David: 7:42 We got enough gays. We want no more gays. Gays, the gay, it&#39;s still we&#39;ve reached our quota. Gavin: 7:46 We&#39;ve canceled, we&#39;re canceling any more gays. Yep, no more gays. Well, on the good news, I will say, guess what? I have some good news from Florida. No such thing. Where apparently there were some bills um outlawing the removal of any monuments. So, of course, you know, like monuments to Confederate Wars um heroes and whatnot. They that bill has already died in their statehouse. And I would say, and even more importantly, some bill, bull, some bullshit bill that was gonna ban flying of any kind of flags that would be offensive to anybody un-American, in, I suppose, in any location, probably. Luckily, that has died a very good death for this year, anyway. So that&#39;s good. Hopefully, you know, you can raise your pride flags as high as you want to across the entire state, luckily. David: 8:29 Until next year. This is the same feeling I get when you were talking about the Vatican, where you&#39;re like, oh, but this is good news. I&#39;m like, yeah, but like what we&#39;re looking at it from the point of view of being at the bottom of the dumpster, and you see like a half-eaten bowl of chipotle. Yeah, that&#39;s good news, but you&#39;re at the bottom of a dumpster. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? The person above the dumpster who&#39;s eating fresh chipotle is looking down on you, like, what the fuck are you happy about? Dumpster, yes. I hear you. It&#39;s good for people of Florida, but oh man, it&#39;s hard for me to get excited about Florida. For those of you who don&#39;t know, I grew up in Florida. So um, yeah. Anyway, but you know what is good? Tell me. Our top three list. Gavin: 9:09 Oh Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. And what is that top three list? Let me remind you. That top three list is I want to hear about your three favorite moments in gay history. Mm-hmm. So herstery. Or herstery, absolutely. That&#39;s uh good. Do that too. Um, so I&#39;m gonna say, now that I know that this is a huge topic, and I was I my top threes are always kind of like, what comes to mind first? All right, just what comes to mind first. And uh, I&#39;m gonna tell you that my number three favorite moment in gay history was He-Man. Period. Just He-Man. There you go. Uh, number two, the Greg Luganus story. Uh I watched Greg Luganus hit his head in live time. When was that Barcelona Olympics or was it LA? Anyway, I remember seeing it live and um thinking, oh, that poor man, and feeling a little something for that guy. I don&#39;t know if it was anything down below or just like feeling a brotherhood there, but there was a brotherhood there. And as um, as you know, as he came out later, he wasn&#39;t out then, but um, as he came out, I don&#39;t know, there was just this little sense of like, this is a gay icon that um I have tracked along in my life. So he&#39;s one of my favorite moments in gay history. And then number one, honestly, learning so much from Harvey Milk when he made his rallying cry to gay people in San Francisco to say, you have got to come out for the benefit of all. You&#39;ve got to come out of the closet. You&#39;ve got to let families and friends know that they know somebody. So that specific episode of Harvey Milk&#39;s rallying cries is um what comes to mind right now is my favorite moment in gay history. David: 11:03 What about you? Well, um, as we expected, yours was very serious and like good for the people of mine is silly and stupid. Gavin: 11:12 I mean, come on, He-Man. I started with that. I started. That&#39;s true. David: 11:14 You did start with He-Man, don&#39;t you? Gavin: 11:15 Please tell me tell me your superficial and trite favorite moments of gay history. David: 11:20 All right. And number three was when Chris Evans released his dick pic in 2020. For those of you who don&#39;t know, uh, Chris Evans was doing like a, you know, what&#39;s that heads-up game where you have like your phone or whatever, and there was a video of him doing it. And when he like phone came down, it reverted to his last screen, which was this camera roll, and people stopped the video, and you could see in one of the grid was his cock. And it was all the fucking gay news of 2020. Listen, this was COVID, right? So everybody needed his dick. Everyone needed that dick to just bring us out of this hole we were living in. So um, I very much appreciated Chris Evans&#39; dick pic. And I what I love about him so much is not only was it a big gay moment in history, but also the next day he tweeted, I was off social media for the day yesterday. What did I miss? I so appreciate somebody who just fully embraces like, yep, I uh I have a dick pic out there. So number three, Chris Evans. Uh number two, 2013, when Beyonce released her secret album in the middle of May. Yes. I really. You remember that? Yes, absolutely. I was there. Nobody can keep secrets anymore. Uh-huh. And somehow this bitch made her whole shares her fifth album, her whole fucking album in secret and released it in the middle of the night with not a single fucking peep. Even with videos, right? Like it was a whole, it was start to finish, one giant piece. Every single thing had a fully realized music video. Yep. Oh, that was that was that was iconic for sure. Okay. And number one for me, the most iconic moment in gay history. This is for the olds. So for the young people, skip ahead 30 seconds. 1998, real world Seattle. Okay. When Steven ran to the taxi as Irene was leaving and slapped her in the face. Do you remember this? So there was a character named Steven on the show, and this girl named Irene, and Irene was leaving because she was having medical problems. But Steven and Irene fucking hated each other. But Steven was so obviously gay, but very much saying he&#39;s straight, and he would make homophobic comments like all the time. It was like a he&#39;s a fucking asshole. And at the very end, when she was walking out the door, she was like, said something about like, you&#39;re gay and whatever, whatever, whatever. And she walked out of the house. Steven ran after her, walked, opened the cab door, and slapped the bitch in the face. It was it was fucking monumental the way people talked about this. But here&#39;s the T that motherfucker came out as gay years later. Oh, she was right. Irene, you were right. Gavin: 13:54 So I hope she feels real vindication over that. David: 13:57 Yeah. So that was my top three moments of gay history. And what will be our next uh top three list for next week? So next week comes from our listener. Um so Daniel uh uh DM&#39;d us on Instagram saying some very nice things, and he also had a suggestion for a top three list. So I said, Daniel, you got it. So Daniel um and his partner are going into surgacy, and he wanted us to do the top three things that you worried about during surrogacy that ended up not being a big fucking deal. Gavin: 14:24 Great. David: 14:25 Love it. Thank you, Daniel. So you guys um are our first repeat guests. First ever. Oh my god, I feel so honored. And so in celebration of that, normally I write this like intro and describing you, and we have all these prep things. I was like, let&#39;s go into this because you&#39;re like in the Gay Sharks family now. Let&#39;s just like jump in and just be like, hey girl, welcome. Let&#39;s have...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is still going on and on about the Groundhog Musical on TikTok, we talk about not being able to restrain your kids anymore (please don&apos;t call CPS), we go over our top 3 moments in gay history, and we are lucky to be joined AGAIN by ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is still going on and on about the Groundhog Musical on TikTok, we talk about not being able to restrain your kids anymore (please don&apos;t call CPS), we go over our top 3 moments in gay history, and we are lucky to be joined AGAIN by Brazil&apos;s best gay Dads, Will Silva and James Issac, who update us on their new life as gay dads, our new daycare idea, and what they think is in store for the next 9 months of their lives. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll make your hips not lie. Nope. That&#39;s you were like, I was like Shakira? Nope. Nope. It didn&#39;t come out the way I meant it to. David: 0:10 And that&#39;s wait. And this is Thanks. Gavin: 0:15 Wow. My hips don&#39;t lie. My hips don&#39;t lie. Thanks. And we won&#39;t thanks. And we won&#39;t lie to you with our hips? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. And we&#39;ll we&#39;ll make your hips lie. Thanks. And we&#39;ll make you feel something in your hips. David: 0:32 Oh, that&#39;s a good one. And this is Gate Juggs. So remember how my something great last episode was the Groundhog musical? Gavin: 0:56 I hope all of our listeners out there went down a serious rabbit hole because I know I did, because I didn&#39;t know about it. David: 1:03 That was highly entertaining. That&#39;s good, right? So now, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve seen this, but now not only have there been multiple singers doing multiple parts, but now somebody added a full orchestration to this thing. Somebody got on their MIDI controller and created like strings and trumpets and like it is this full fucking musical. And I saw some people doing like non-singing talent where they were like ensemble member in the background. I was just like, this it this app is so full of smart and funny people. Yes. Gavin: 1:38 Oh, it&#39;s the best of times and it&#39;s the worst of times. David: 1:40 It couldn&#39;t be better said. Um, I anyway. So for those of you who are following the Groundhog musical, it&#39;s amazing. And now there are full orchestrations too. Gavin: 1:48 And we can&#39;t wait for the original writer. What&#39;s his name again? David: 1:51 Oh fuck. Uh Oliver Richmond, I think. Gavin: 1:55 Oliver something. David: 1:56 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:56 We can&#39;t wait to have Oliver on as a guest. Oh, that&#39;s a good idea. Fantastic. That&#39;s a really good idea. David: 2:01 I don&#39;t know if he&#39;s gay or a dad, but who cares, right? This is our show. We can do it for real. See no limitations. We it we we embrace all here. So let&#39;s talk about limitations a little bit because I have been experiencing something this week that you have already experienced and it&#39;s new for me, which is a lot of parenting for me when it comes to limiting my kids, right? Access to the fridge, um, don&#39;t go outside, whatever like the physical limitations are that you keeping the knives out of their way or whatever. I&#39;m finding that my my son, who&#39;s four, four and a half now, is now I can&#39;t physically restrain him in the way I used to. And I don&#39;t mean like I can&#39;t beat him up. I could should could for sure beat this fucker up. But I mean like he&#39;s tall enough without standing on a stool to reach on the countertop all the way to the back. I used to put like knives on the back or or cookies or whatever I don&#39;t want him to touch. He is so capable. I&#39;m watching him grab chairs from the dining room and bring it and unlocking things. And so I don&#39;t know what to do now that I can&#39;t physically restrain my children anymore, other than I just have to rely on my negotiating skills, which are terrible. What do I do, Gavin? Gavin: 3:14 That&#39;s uh I did not realize that&#39;s the turn that this was gonna take because I saw in our outline you talking about physical restraint, and I thought you meant literally holding him back, like if he&#39;s getting mad or angry or sad or something. No, which I had a whole tirade to go on for that. This is a pivot I wasn&#39;t expecting. But in terms of, yeah, hiding, keeping stuff out of reach and and restraining their physical reach. Ooh boy. I mean, I don&#39;t know. David: 3:37 They reach and their access too. Like my front door has like a lock that&#39;s hard to turn, and it&#39;s been locked whenever I don&#39;t want them to leave. And now he can unlock it. So I have to rely on either being around him 24-7 or him knowing you can&#39;t go out front without a parent. Gavin: 3:51 And figuring out those trust issues and and knowing that they have their limits and they they self-impose them and they&#39;re not gonna go out without asking. Oh, I you dude, you are out on a raft with that one. I don&#39;t do. I mean, I gotta say, I&#39;ve never had a runner. Neither of my kids has ever tried to sneak out. Oh, hold on. We did have a but this is completely different. As a 10-year-old, we had a sleepover a couple of weeks ago, and my partner got up in the middle of the night, as one does, walking in the bathroom or something, saw flashlights outside the house at 2 30 in the morning. And we were we hit the roof, and then we&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know. I mean, they weren&#39;t gonna do it anymore. David: 4:35 Wait, was it your kids outside the flashlights? Oh, okay. You didn&#39;t finish the story. I was like, where&#39;s the SWAT team? Gavin: 4:39 What the fuck was happening at your house? No, it was my son and his friend, and they just decided we couldn&#39;t sleep. So they went outside to play flashlight tag. Now, admittedly, we live on a dirt road. How many times do I have to say that? We do admittedly live near a huge body of water, but I&#39;m not worried about that anymore. So um it was like, uh, it&#39;s not that big a deal. Now, if my two-year-old, I know somebody, dear friend, hopefully longtime listener, hi Paul, whose son sleepwalks. They got a call in the middle of the night, middle of the night. He ignored his call, his phone, because he&#39;s like, you know, who knows what it is. And then their landline rang, which is something that would wake you up in 2024. It was their kid in a panic calling from outside on the streets of New York City, calling from somebody&#39;s iPad. I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t know how to unpack that part, but somebody at one or one or two in the morning was like, little boy, why are you outside on uh 86th Street barefoot? Because he sleepwalked out of the house, out of the building, took the elevator! Wow. Uh-huh. Didn&#39;t realize it until the door clicked shut and he panicked, realizing he couldn&#39;t get back into the house. David: 5:50 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. West 86 or East 86? East. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. He could have died. Wow. That&#39;s terrifying. Gavin: 6:01 And so now they have an alarm on their door in case somebody opens it from the inside. Not to keep people out, but to keep the children in. unknown: 6:09 Wow. Gavin: 6:09 Yeah, bonkers, huh? So, but I&#39;ve never had that worry. And now I do, of course, thinking, oh great, one of my kids is gonna sleepwalk out into the uh a body of water behind. David: 6:19 Or murder you. Like go to the kitchen and grab a knife. Gavin: 6:22 You hold keeping those knives out of the way, I don&#39;t know. I these are not things that keep me up at night. I have so many other things I need to worry about, like, you know, democracy and gratitude. SPEAKER_04: 6:33 So Jesus. Gavin: 6:34 Well, to make you feel even more paranoid about the world, I&#39;ve got some bad news and some good news, and then some bad news from the world of, you know, the gay world, all right? So I know that you don&#39;t believe in newspapers and news and whatnot. So luckily I&#39;m here for you to be America&#39;s finest news source, right? Wow. I am a news junkie, but continue. Guess what? In Russia, they&#39;re now blaming their invasion of Ukraine on the gays. David: 6:58 Yay! We finally did something. Gavin: 7:01 We are the cause of, you know, Russia being able to justify its invasion and murder of, you know, hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians because they needed to squelch any semblance of the gay agenda, even in Ukraine. So, you know, you&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s our fault. As if Congress needed more reason to support these people, or more reasons to apparently not support them. Okay, thanks a lot. David: 7:23 One side of the aisle, but I&#39;ve said this before, and I&#39;ll say it again. There are two items on the gay agenda: cruising and brunch. Brunch. It is not about invading Ukraine at all. Come on, people. Gavin: 7:36 And it is not about recruiting people to be gay either, because y&#39;all, we&#39;re fine with our population. We&#39;re good. David: 7:42 We got enough gays. We want no more gays. Gays, the gay, it&#39;s still we&#39;ve reached our quota. Gavin: 7:46 We&#39;ve canceled, we&#39;re canceling any more gays. Yep, no more gays. Well, on the good news, I will say, guess what? I have some good news from Florida. No such thing. Where apparently there were some bills um outlawing the removal of any monuments. So, of course, you know, like monuments to Confederate Wars um heroes and whatnot. They that bill has already died in their statehouse. And I would say, and even more importantly, some bill, bull, some bullshit bill that was gonna ban flying of any kind of flags that would be offensive to anybody un-American, in, I suppose, in any location, probably. Luckily, that has died a very good death for this year, anyway. So that&#39;s good. Hopefully, you know, you can raise your pride flags as high as you want to across the entire state, luckily. David: 8:29 Until next year. This is the same feeling I get when you were talking about the Vatican, where you&#39;re like, oh, but this is good news. I&#39;m like, yeah, but like what we&#39;re looking at it from the point of view of being at the bottom of the dumpster, and you see like a half-eaten bowl of chipotle. Yeah, that&#39;s good news, but you&#39;re at the bottom of a dumpster. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? The person above the dumpster who&#39;s eating fresh chipotle is looking down on you, like, what the fuck are you happy about? Dumpster, yes. I hear you. It&#39;s good for people of Florida, but oh man, it&#39;s hard for me to get excited about Florida. For those of you who don&#39;t know, I grew up in Florida. So um, yeah. Anyway, but you know what is good? Tell me. Our top three list. Gavin: 9:09 Oh Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. And what is that top three list? Let me remind you. That top three list is I want to hear about your three favorite moments in gay history. Mm-hmm. So herstery. Or herstery, absolutely. That&#39;s uh good. Do that too. Um, so I&#39;m gonna say, now that I know that this is a huge topic, and I was I my top threes are always kind of like, what comes to mind first? All right, just what comes to mind first. And uh, I&#39;m gonna tell you that my number three favorite moment in gay history was He-Man. Period. Just He-Man. There you go. Uh, number two, the Greg Luganus story. Uh I watched Greg Luganus hit his head in live time. When was that Barcelona Olympics or was it LA? Anyway, I remember seeing it live and um thinking, oh, that poor man, and feeling a little something for that guy. I don&#39;t know if it was anything down below or just like feeling a brotherhood there, but there was a brotherhood there. And as um, as you know, as he came out later, he wasn&#39;t out then, but um, as he came out, I don&#39;t know, there was just this little sense of like, this is a gay icon that um I have tracked along in my life. So he&#39;s one of my favorite moments in gay history. And then number one, honestly, learning so much from Harvey Milk when he made his rallying cry to gay people in San Francisco to say, you have got to come out for the benefit of all. You&#39;ve got to come out of the closet. You&#39;ve got to let families and friends know that they know somebody. So that specific episode of Harvey Milk&#39;s rallying cries is um what comes to mind right now is my favorite moment in gay history. David: 11:03 What about you? Well, um, as we expected, yours was very serious and like good for the people of mine is silly and stupid. Gavin: 11:12 I mean, come on, He-Man. I started with that. I started. That&#39;s true. David: 11:14 You did start with He-Man, don&#39;t you? Gavin: 11:15 Please tell me tell me your superficial and trite favorite moments of gay history. David: 11:20 All right. And number three was when Chris Evans released his dick pic in 2020. For those of you who don&#39;t know, uh, Chris Evans was doing like a, you know, what&#39;s that heads-up game where you have like your phone or whatever, and there was a video of him doing it. And when he like phone came down, it reverted to his last screen, which was this camera roll, and people stopped the video, and you could see in one of the grid was his cock. And it was all the fucking gay news of 2020. Listen, this was COVID, right? So everybody needed his dick. Everyone needed that dick to just bring us out of this hole we were living in. So um, I very much appreciated Chris Evans&#39; dick pic. And I what I love about him so much is not only was it a big gay moment in history, but also the next day he tweeted, I was off social media for the day yesterday. What did I miss? I so appreciate somebody who just fully embraces like, yep, I uh I have a dick pic out there. So number three, Chris Evans. Uh number two, 2013, when Beyonce released her secret album in the middle of May. Yes. I really. You remember that? Yes, absolutely. I was there. Nobody can keep secrets anymore. Uh-huh. And somehow this bitch made her whole shares her fifth album, her whole fucking album in secret and released it in the middle of the night with not a single fucking peep. Even with videos, right? Like it was a whole, it was start to finish, one giant piece. Every single thing had a fully realized music video. Yep. Oh, that was that was that was iconic for sure. Okay. And number one for me, the most iconic moment in gay history. This is for the olds. So for the young people, skip ahead 30 seconds. 1998, real world Seattle. Okay. When Steven ran to the taxi as Irene was leaving and slapped her in the face. Do you remember this? So there was a character named Steven on the show, and this girl named Irene, and Irene was leaving because she was having medical problems. But Steven and Irene fucking hated each other. But Steven was so obviously gay, but very much saying he&#39;s straight, and he would make homophobic comments like all the time. It was like a he&#39;s a fucking asshole. And at the very end, when she was walking out the door, she was like, said something about like, you&#39;re gay and whatever, whatever, whatever. And she walked out of the house. Steven ran after her, walked, opened the cab door, and slapped the bitch in the face. It was it was fucking monumental the way people talked about this. But here&#39;s the T that motherfucker came out as gay years later. Oh, she was right. Irene, you were right. Gavin: 13:54 So I hope she feels real vindication over that. David: 13:57 Yeah. So that was my top three moments of gay history. And what will be our next uh top three list for next week? So next week comes from our listener. Um so Daniel uh uh DM&#39;d us on Instagram saying some very nice things, and he also had a suggestion for a top three list. So I said, Daniel, you got it. So Daniel um and his partner are going into surgacy, and he wanted us to do the top three things that you worried about during surrogacy that ended up not being a big fucking deal. Gavin: 14:24 Great. David: 14:25 Love it. Thank you, Daniel. So you guys um are our first repeat guests. First ever. Oh my god, I feel so honored. And so in celebration of that, normally I write this like intro and describing you, and we have all these prep things. I was like, let&#39;s go into this because you&#39;re like in the Gay Sharks family now. Let&#39;s just like jump in and just be like, hey girl, welcome. Let&#39;s have...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is still going on and on about the Groundhog Musical on TikTok, we talk about not being able to restrain your kids anymore (please don&apos;t call CPS), we go over our top 3 moments in gay history, and we are lucky to be joined AGAIN by Brazil&apos;s best gay Dads, Will Silva and James Issac, who update us on their new life as gay dads, our new daycare idea, and what they think is in store for the next 9 months of their lives. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll make your hips not lie. Nope. That&#39;s you were like, I was like Shakira? Nope. Nope. It didn&#39;t come out the way I meant it to. David: 0:10 And that&#39;s wait. And this is Thanks. Gavin: 0:15 Wow. My hips don&#39;t lie. My hips don&#39;t lie. Thanks. And we won&#39;t thanks. And we won&#39;t lie to you with our hips? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. And we&#39;ll we&#39;ll make your hips lie. Thanks. And we&#39;ll make you feel something in your hips. David: 0:32 Oh, that&#39;s a good one. And this is Gate Juggs. So remember how my something great last episode was the Groundhog musical? Gavin: 0:56 I hope all of our listeners out there went down a serious rabbit hole because I know I did, because I didn&#39;t know about it. David: 1:03 That was highly entertaining. That&#39;s good, right? So now, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve seen this, but now not only have there been multiple singers doing multiple parts, but now somebody added a full orchestration to this thing. Somebody got on their MIDI controller and created like strings and trumpets and like it is this full fucking musical. And I saw some people doing like non-singing talent where they were like ensemble member in the background. I was just like, this it this app is so full of smart and funny people. Yes. Gavin: 1:38 Oh, it&#39;s the best of times and it&#39;s the worst of times. David: 1:40 It couldn&#39;t be better said. Um, I anyway. So for those of you who are following the Groundhog musical, it&#39;s amazing. And now there are full orchestrations too. Gavin: 1:48 And we can&#39;t wait for the original writer. What&#39;s his name again? David: 1:51 Oh fuck. Uh Oliver Richmond, I think. Gavin: 1:55 Oliver something. David: 1:56 Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 1:56 We can&#39;t wait to have Oliver on as a guest. Oh, that&#39;s a good idea. Fantastic. That&#39;s a really good idea. David: 2:01 I don&#39;t know if he&#39;s gay or a dad, but who cares, right? This is our show. We can do it for real. See no limitations. We it we we embrace all here. So let&#39;s talk about limitations a little bit because I have been experiencing something this week that you have already experienced and it&#39;s new for me, which is a lot of parenting for me when it comes to limiting my kids, right? Access to the fridge, um, don&#39;t go outside, whatever like the physical limitations are that you keeping the knives out of their way or whatever. I&#39;m finding that my my son, who&#39;s four, four and a half now, is now I can&#39;t physically restrain him in the way I used to. And I don&#39;t mean like I can&#39;t beat him up. I could should could for sure beat this fucker up. But I mean like he&#39;s tall enough without standing on a stool to reach on the countertop all the way to the back. I used to put like knives on the back or or cookies or whatever I don&#39;t want him to touch. He is so capable. I&#39;m watching him grab chairs from the dining room and bring it and unlocking things. And so I don&#39;t know what to do now that I can&#39;t physically restrain my children anymore, other than I just have to rely on my negotiating skills, which are terrible. What do I do, Gavin? Gavin: 3:14 That&#39;s uh I did not realize that&#39;s the turn that this was gonna take because I saw in our outline you talking about physical restraint, and I thought you meant literally holding him bac]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is still going on and on about the Groundhog Musical on TikTok, we talk about not being able to restrain your kids anymore (please don&apos;t call CPS), we go over our top 3 moments in gay history, and we are lucky to be joined AGAIN by Brazil&apos;s best gay Dads, Will Silva and James Issac, who update us on their new life as gay dads, our new daycare idea, and what they think is in store for the next 9 months of their lives. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll make your hips not lie. Nope. That&#39;s you were like, I was like Shakira? Nope. Nope. It didn&#39;t come out the way I meant it to. David: 0:10 And that&#39;s wait. And this is Thanks. Gavin: 0:15 Wow. My hips don&#39;t lie. My hips don&#39;t lie. Thanks. And we won&#39;t thanks. And we won&#39;t lie to you with our hips? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. And we&#39;ll we&#]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with author and cradle robber Tom Tracy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-author-and-cradle-robber-tom-tracy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 14 Feb 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Love is in the air this week as Gavin and David discuss their VD, we list the top 3 reasons why Gavin should be fired from the show, and this week we are joined by author of the Scoochie &#38; Skiddles series Tom Tracy who talks with us about why so many gay Dads are authors lately, what the worst and best parts of parenting are, and exactly how late Madonna was to her concert. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll talk at you again and again and again and again and again next time on another episode of Gatriarchs. David: 0:11 That was the creative genius that you wanted to re-record for. That was that&#39;s what you spent time doing. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So I see that&#39;s right. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day. You knew what I was gonna say already. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day, Gavin. I love you. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day to you, David. I love you. And to all of our listeners out there, we love you. Thank you for sticking with us. This is our first Valentine&#39;s episode, right? I think somehow we missed it last year. I&#39;m sure we celebrated it, but I think no, I think we started just after, right? David: 0:59 Didn&#39;t we start in March of last year? I think we&#39;re coming up on our one-year anniversary. Gavin: 1:03 Oh my gosh, what are we gonna do to celebrate that? David: 1:05 I don&#39;t know. We should have our listener over and maybe like make a cake or something. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, come on over. And uh never not funny. Gavin: 1:14 Never not funny, even if just to you and me. So, what is the best part about Valentine&#39;s Day for you? Let me give you a second as I tell you. My favorite thing is that when kids are little, the excitement of spreading Valentine&#39;s joy is so wonderful. And I love that they all say I love you. Like kindergartners and first graders. You know, what I mean is the boys say I love you to the other boys. And of course, I just mean that in the beautiful simplicity of it all, just the purity, you know? And then we grow up, and it&#39;s really just a day for everybody to feel less than because they see everybody on social media going over a board and you&#39;re and I&#39;m sitting home thinking, oh fuck, that&#39;s right. It&#39;s Valentine&#39;s Day. Does it mean anything if I run out to Walgreens right now to get chocolate? David: 2:00 I should have saved this for our top three this week, but I love how you ask me a question and it&#39;s like, don&#39;t talk. Don&#39;t talk. Let me answer the question I asked you. Gavin: 2:10 You&#39;re right. It&#39;s it&#39;s my fatal flaw in podcasting. But at the same time, this for all of our listeners out there, we uh we do follow an outline, so we&#39;re not completely bonkers as we do this. And I this is a surprise question. And I didn&#39;t want to have to put you on the spot. So And also I just want to talk. Moving on to the next topic. David: 2:29 Anyway, well, it&#39;s actually it&#39;s actually fine to move on because we look, I found my What is your favorite thing about my? Well, I was gonna say, well, my found my person because my husband and I are not at all, we don&#39;t care about dates or or holidays in that way. Like, so like our anniversary, for example, we had our 12-year anniversary. Woo! Cute this audience crowd noise. Uh-huh. A couple months ago. And we were in uh we&#39;re at a friend&#39;s house. Um, they were having a party. We were just literally in the kitchen eating, you know, pretzels over the sink or whatever you do at these parties. And and he goes, Wait, I think today&#39;s our anniversary. I was like, Oh yeah. And we went, happy anniversary, and that was it. And that is literally how we spend uh Valentine&#39;s, even like I&#39;m not birthdays, but like we just there&#39;s solo stakes for us because we&#39;re pretty lovey and regular days. So I don&#39;t, we don&#39;t celebrate it, but I would agree with you. Like with the kids, it&#39;s really extra fun because they&#39;re so excited. Yeah. And there&#39;s there&#39;s nothing bad about just sharing love and saying I love you. And the thing about I love you is really interesting because I feel like that is a generational thing that has changed, which I really appreciate, which is like boys say I love you now. Boys say I love you. Like, I I have always been a very I love you person, but like it&#39;s not that&#39;s not how most people are. So I appreciate the kids are getting it right. Gavin: 3:49 Yeah, I uh I hear you. David: 3:51 Yeah, um, speaking of uh saying I love you, uh, my kid has done this thing now, which is really fucking creepy. And I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve experienced this. Okay, but so I have a four two-year-old, so they&#39;re kids, but like two-year-old is like basically a baby who can kind of talk. And, you know, she&#39;s like, Daddy, I want water. You know, she says that kind of stuff. Well, she has now learned my real first name, as my son knows. And so she does this thing now where if she&#39;s like, dad, dad, and I&#39;m not paying attention, I&#39;ll hear from the other room, David. And I&#39;m like, that is the most uncomfortable I&#39;ve ever felt my entire life, is my two-year-old daughter screaming, David, to get my attention. So never teach your kids your real names. Gavin: 4:37 I have wondered, yeah, exactly. I have wondered when our kids are gonna make the switch because my partner goes by Tatty, which was just a made-up name that my uh daughter made up really young. In fact, when I was starting to stress that she wouldn&#39;t have a name for us, and I&#39;m like, I really think that we need to name ourselves. And my partner was like, I think she&#39;s just gonna figure out herself. And that day she figured it out, Tatty and Daddy. But I can&#39;t imagine a 16-year-old being at the at a high school field and being like, hey, Tatty. So, but maybe she will at the same time, you know. But I didn&#39;t realize my kids had such awareness of our names until very young when my son, I don&#39;t know, preschool, maybe even before preschool, was explaining to his friends I don&#39;t know, something about how I do something and and my partner does something else. And he he said, Well, yeah, because Gavin brushes his teeth six times a day, and Todd brushes his teeth seven times a day. Terrible example. But point being, he knew the difference between our names. And I was like, Oh, I didn&#39;t even know you knew our names. So, you know, they&#39;re the kids are listening. I&#39;m more concerned about how much you&#39;re brushing your teeth, Gavin. David: 5:46 It&#39;s not good. That&#39;s not good for your enamel. I&#39;m worried about you. Um speaking of our listener, um, our listener Joe reached out to me and said that this week&#39;s uh This American Life, if you listen to that podcast, it&#39;s fantastic. Um, episode 823. Um, there&#39;s an episode called The Question Trap. And the cold open of that episode, he reminded me, was something we have discussed a lot on. And it was this gay guy, and he was saying that his family, when they were around, would be like, Oh, so like between you and your husband, like who&#39;s the handy one? Like we&#39;re referring to like, you know, fixing the toilet or whatever. Sure. And he was like, There was code. Like, who&#39;s the man? Like, who&#39;s the man in the family? It was funny because he was like, You guys have talked about this a lot on your episode. So um who is uh uh who is uh handy in your relationship, Gavin? Gavin: 6:38 I mean, you know when you say it that way, there&#39;s only one thing I think of. That&#39;s for sure. I&#39;m gonna think of what thing that I&#39;m the one with the tools. Um shout out to Ira. I love that um uh I think Ira Glass should definitely be a that is his name, isn&#39;t it? Ira Glass. I mean, my god, I&#39;ve listened to This American Life for 100 years, but I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve ever actually said. I can&#39;t wait. I can&#39;t wait for Ira Glass to come on and I don&#39;t know, set the record straight, as it were. Because somehow I do not think that Ira Glass is the one with the tools. And I know that he&#39;s married to a woman, but uh I want to know, um, hey, who&#39;s the handy one in your household, David? David: 7:20 David, we&#39;re getting into a misogyny thing going on right now, which I don&#39;t appreciate. Gavin: 7:24 Um, so um Isn&#39;t that misogy what is the male equivalent of misogyny? I don&#39;t know. Because misogynies hate for women. David: 7:33 That&#39;s our that&#39;s a good drag name, misogyny. Yeah. Um uh like let&#39;s move on to some drama that&#39;s happening right now in the TikTok world. I don&#39;t know if you saw the drama that happened last week. No. There was um, I think his name is Will Powers. He&#39;s this guy, uh, a gay man who adopted a a child, a little girl, and she is black and he is white. And he basically put out a TikTok saying, Hey, uh black moms of TikTok, um, can you teach me how to do my daughter&#39;s hair? Like, I want to make sure I do it right. Well, uh, you say awesome. Oh no, but the internet came for him. Oh it&#39;s so funny. I I I I should have I should have made you watch it before we talked about this because I was curious about your reaction. So it&#39;s interesting. There&#39;s obviously a whole group of people who are like, Great, thanks for reaching out. Here&#39;s what you should do, or whatever, right? Because the the baby is literally a month old. Like it&#39;s like a baby has like baby hair, which is bullshit. Gavin: 8:28 Sure. David: 8:29 So I don&#39;t know, though. I would call baby hair bullshit, but anyway, people saying, like, there&#39;s just so but a lot of people were mad that he was saying, Hey, black moms, I need black hair, black this. And he, and then that is not really the that is the main source of drama, which we can be for or against. Okay, but the thing that made me really sad about it was the majority of the comments were like, that poor baby, I&#39;ll adopt the baby, as if this gay white man, really gay man, I think is the code we&#39;re talking about. Yeah. Should not be able to parent this child. But talking about like the question behind the question, people That&#39;s a nuanced one for sure. Anyway, it&#39;s an interesting draw. It was like people were reposting this and saying, What do you think? It was like a big thing. This poor guy, like uh I I think he probably had it in his heart to do the right thing and like ask the right real question. It might have come out a little stumbly, but oof. Gavin: 9:23 It was I gotta say, my default, I would like to think, is um taking things as they&#39;re meant and knowing that, hey, if there were things that needed to be corrected in his language, perhaps, but it seems to me this was an earnest, yeah, pure sense of hey, I&#39;m I&#39;m looking to a village to help out here because that&#39;s what guess what? That&#39;s what parenting is. And I&#39;ve been taking things as it&#39;s meant since 2002, really. So guess what? There is not that much. I mean, so you just mentioned in the news, I was uh scanning the headlines, as it were, and there really wasn&#39;t a lot of gay news to bring, except a bunch of like pop music stuff and like I don&#39;t know, rivalries between um Travis Kelso and Taylor Swift and Republicans and all the stupid shit. David: 10:05 Travis Kelso. Gavin: 10:06 I was thinking of Andy Kelso. SPEAKER_05: 10:08 That&#39;s exactly who I was thinking about. Gavin: 10:10 Shout out Andy Kelso. If you want to be a guest on the show, you certainly can be. I don&#39;t know you, but I know who you are. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um, so but in the news, I will say there was something that was brought to my attention by NPR. Thank you very much. They were doing a report on TikTok journalists, essentially, and people who spend a lot of time essentially as an anchor on TikTok to bring news to people. Yeah. And so they the very first person they mentioned is Josh Helfgott, who is the gay news guy, and he does these really extensive um probing um news stories about gay news in the world. And it&#39;s very TikTok. I mean, I it&#39;s oh I yeah, it&#39;s overwhelming to watch him. I mean, there&#39;s a lot of TikTok energy there, but the guy is, you know, a journalist now. Like TikTok journalism, yo. I I suppose hard to fact check, but hopefully the the cream will riseth to the top, you know? Yeah. But since there really isn&#39;t any good gay news worth mentioning, um, I which is hopefully a good thing. There isn&#39;t any tragedies out there we want to talk about, thank goodness. Um, I thought, how about a dad hack this week? Yeah. How did you how have you how do you or how did you teach your kids to uh brush their teeth? Were did you have any secrets to doing it? David: 11:22 I fucking hate it. It&#39;s it&#39;s just number two under putting your shoes on, where it&#39;s just like a a fucking fight twice a day, every single day, and it makes me crazy. Gavin: 11:31 Or or six times a day or seven times a day. David: 11:34 Yeah, exactly. I will say that I have for sure been a little bit of a uh dad fail on this, where like my son is just like never wants to brush his own teeth, he always wants me to brush his teeth. And I have basically obliged, and he&#39;s already four. And yeah, so um I still brush my kids&#39; teeth. Gavin: 11:49 Just you wait, David. Eventually they won&#39;t want that anymore. Just you wait. Well, how about did you ever try to just sing a song during it? No, but that&#39;s a good idea. I do sing a lot of songs. If you do, um, we did the itsy bitsy spider for some reason, and you would do the itsy bitsy spider. You would, you know, do the mouth in quadrants and teach my kids to go itsy bitsy spider. You get it, you know, and like every two lines you switch um uh quadrant of your mouth. And I think that I there are occasionally times that I can hear my kids humming to themselves as they brush their teeth still. Now, I would say they also they brush to this at the speed of light, so that itsy bitsy spider barely makes it down. Of course, the water spout, or certainly doesn&#39;t get back up. But you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s a nice memory there. David: 12:33 Overtring so that&#39;s a good idea. Anyway, there you go. That&#39;s a good idea that I will totally ignore and just keep continuing to brush my. Sure. Yeah. Um, uh, let&#39;s uh move on to our next segment about failure, which is our top three list. Gatriarchs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s list um is my list because it wasn&#39;t supposed to be my list, but it became my list because you forgot to create a list. So this week we&#39;re doing top three reasons Gavin should be fired from Gatriarchs. Gavin: 13:00 Interesting whether I don&#39;t know which one of us should start in this instance because since I am the topic du jour. Um Do you want to start? Yeah, I do want to start. All right. I do want to start. Okay, so for my top three reasons that I should be fired from Gatriarch, number three is lower the level of frustration in David&#39;s life. David: 13:20 If you put your shoes on, I&#39;m happy with you. If you put your shoes on when I tell you, I&#39;m actually okay with you. Gavin: 13:25 So the number two reason that I should be fired from Gatriarchs is I&#39;m generally delusional about the value I bring to Gatriarchs, which is probably because I&#39;m a white man. Unlike me, who&#39;s a whiter man. And the number one reason that I should be fired from gatriarchs is I am so good at being just good enough, which probably isn&#39;t actually good enough. Why are these so savage? David: 13:54 Why are you so mean to yourself? Gavin: 13:56 I uh they&#39;re cutting deep uh towards you as well. So I and also I needed to go savage on myself so that if you go any worse, you will feel tremendously guilty. David: 14:05 No, you&#39;re gonna feel really shitty because I&#39;m about to compliment you. All right, uh, top three reasons Gabe...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Love is in the air this week as Gavin and David discuss their VD, we list the top 3 reasons why Gavin should be fired from the show, and this week we are joined by author of the Scoochie &#38; Skiddles series Tom Tracy who talks with us about why so many]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Love is in the air this week as Gavin and David discuss their VD, we list the top 3 reasons why Gavin should be fired from the show, and this week we are joined by author of the Scoochie &#38; Skiddles series Tom Tracy who talks with us about why so many gay Dads are authors lately, what the worst and best parts of parenting are, and exactly how late Madonna was to her concert. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll talk at you again and again and again and again and again next time on another episode of Gatriarchs. David: 0:11 That was the creative genius that you wanted to re-record for. That was that&#39;s what you spent time doing. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So I see that&#39;s right. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day. You knew what I was gonna say already. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day, Gavin. I love you. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day to you, David. I love you. And to all of our listeners out there, we love you. Thank you for sticking with us. This is our first Valentine&#39;s episode, right? I think somehow we missed it last year. I&#39;m sure we celebrated it, but I think no, I think we started just after, right? David: 0:59 Didn&#39;t we start in March of last year? I think we&#39;re coming up on our one-year anniversary. Gavin: 1:03 Oh my gosh, what are we gonna do to celebrate that? David: 1:05 I don&#39;t know. We should have our listener over and maybe like make a cake or something. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, come on over. And uh never not funny. Gavin: 1:14 Never not funny, even if just to you and me. So, what is the best part about Valentine&#39;s Day for you? Let me give you a second as I tell you. My favorite thing is that when kids are little, the excitement of spreading Valentine&#39;s joy is so wonderful. And I love that they all say I love you. Like kindergartners and first graders. You know, what I mean is the boys say I love you to the other boys. And of course, I just mean that in the beautiful simplicity of it all, just the purity, you know? And then we grow up, and it&#39;s really just a day for everybody to feel less than because they see everybody on social media going over a board and you&#39;re and I&#39;m sitting home thinking, oh fuck, that&#39;s right. It&#39;s Valentine&#39;s Day. Does it mean anything if I run out to Walgreens right now to get chocolate? David: 2:00 I should have saved this for our top three this week, but I love how you ask me a question and it&#39;s like, don&#39;t talk. Don&#39;t talk. Let me answer the question I asked you. Gavin: 2:10 You&#39;re right. It&#39;s it&#39;s my fatal flaw in podcasting. But at the same time, this for all of our listeners out there, we uh we do follow an outline, so we&#39;re not completely bonkers as we do this. And I this is a surprise question. And I didn&#39;t want to have to put you on the spot. So And also I just want to talk. Moving on to the next topic. David: 2:29 Anyway, well, it&#39;s actually it&#39;s actually fine to move on because we look, I found my What is your favorite thing about my? Well, I was gonna say, well, my found my person because my husband and I are not at all, we don&#39;t care about dates or or holidays in that way. Like, so like our anniversary, for example, we had our 12-year anniversary. Woo! Cute this audience crowd noise. Uh-huh. A couple months ago. And we were in uh we&#39;re at a friend&#39;s house. Um, they were having a party. We were just literally in the kitchen eating, you know, pretzels over the sink or whatever you do at these parties. And and he goes, Wait, I think today&#39;s our anniversary. I was like, Oh yeah. And we went, happy anniversary, and that was it. And that is literally how we spend uh Valentine&#39;s, even like I&#39;m not birthdays, but like we just there&#39;s solo stakes for us because we&#39;re pretty lovey and regular days. So I don&#39;t, we don&#39;t celebrate it, but I would agree with you. Like with the kids, it&#39;s really extra fun because they&#39;re so excited. Yeah. And there&#39;s there&#39;s nothing bad about just sharing love and saying I love you. And the thing about I love you is really interesting because I feel like that is a generational thing that has changed, which I really appreciate, which is like boys say I love you now. Boys say I love you. Like, I I have always been a very I love you person, but like it&#39;s not that&#39;s not how most people are. So I appreciate the kids are getting it right. Gavin: 3:49 Yeah, I uh I hear you. David: 3:51 Yeah, um, speaking of uh saying I love you, uh, my kid has done this thing now, which is really fucking creepy. And I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve experienced this. Okay, but so I have a four two-year-old, so they&#39;re kids, but like two-year-old is like basically a baby who can kind of talk. And, you know, she&#39;s like, Daddy, I want water. You know, she says that kind of stuff. Well, she has now learned my real first name, as my son knows. And so she does this thing now where if she&#39;s like, dad, dad, and I&#39;m not paying attention, I&#39;ll hear from the other room, David. And I&#39;m like, that is the most uncomfortable I&#39;ve ever felt my entire life, is my two-year-old daughter screaming, David, to get my attention. So never teach your kids your real names. Gavin: 4:37 I have wondered, yeah, exactly. I have wondered when our kids are gonna make the switch because my partner goes by Tatty, which was just a made-up name that my uh daughter made up really young. In fact, when I was starting to stress that she wouldn&#39;t have a name for us, and I&#39;m like, I really think that we need to name ourselves. And my partner was like, I think she&#39;s just gonna figure out herself. And that day she figured it out, Tatty and Daddy. But I can&#39;t imagine a 16-year-old being at the at a high school field and being like, hey, Tatty. So, but maybe she will at the same time, you know. But I didn&#39;t realize my kids had such awareness of our names until very young when my son, I don&#39;t know, preschool, maybe even before preschool, was explaining to his friends I don&#39;t know, something about how I do something and and my partner does something else. And he he said, Well, yeah, because Gavin brushes his teeth six times a day, and Todd brushes his teeth seven times a day. Terrible example. But point being, he knew the difference between our names. And I was like, Oh, I didn&#39;t even know you knew our names. So, you know, they&#39;re the kids are listening. I&#39;m more concerned about how much you&#39;re brushing your teeth, Gavin. David: 5:46 It&#39;s not good. That&#39;s not good for your enamel. I&#39;m worried about you. Um speaking of our listener, um, our listener Joe reached out to me and said that this week&#39;s uh This American Life, if you listen to that podcast, it&#39;s fantastic. Um, episode 823. Um, there&#39;s an episode called The Question Trap. And the cold open of that episode, he reminded me, was something we have discussed a lot on. And it was this gay guy, and he was saying that his family, when they were around, would be like, Oh, so like between you and your husband, like who&#39;s the handy one? Like we&#39;re referring to like, you know, fixing the toilet or whatever. Sure. And he was like, There was code. Like, who&#39;s the man? Like, who&#39;s the man in the family? It was funny because he was like, You guys have talked about this a lot on your episode. So um who is uh uh who is uh handy in your relationship, Gavin? Gavin: 6:38 I mean, you know when you say it that way, there&#39;s only one thing I think of. That&#39;s for sure. I&#39;m gonna think of what thing that I&#39;m the one with the tools. Um shout out to Ira. I love that um uh I think Ira Glass should definitely be a that is his name, isn&#39;t it? Ira Glass. I mean, my god, I&#39;ve listened to This American Life for 100 years, but I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve ever actually said. I can&#39;t wait. I can&#39;t wait for Ira Glass to come on and I don&#39;t know, set the record straight, as it were. Because somehow I do not think that Ira Glass is the one with the tools. And I know that he&#39;s married to a woman, but uh I want to know, um, hey, who&#39;s the handy one in your household, David? David: 7:20 David, we&#39;re getting into a misogyny thing going on right now, which I don&#39;t appreciate. Gavin: 7:24 Um, so um Isn&#39;t that misogy what is the male equivalent of misogyny? I don&#39;t know. Because misogynies hate for women. David: 7:33 That&#39;s our that&#39;s a good drag name, misogyny. Yeah. Um uh like let&#39;s move on to some drama that&#39;s happening right now in the TikTok world. I don&#39;t know if you saw the drama that happened last week. No. There was um, I think his name is Will Powers. He&#39;s this guy, uh, a gay man who adopted a a child, a little girl, and she is black and he is white. And he basically put out a TikTok saying, Hey, uh black moms of TikTok, um, can you teach me how to do my daughter&#39;s hair? Like, I want to make sure I do it right. Well, uh, you say awesome. Oh no, but the internet came for him. Oh it&#39;s so funny. I I I I should have I should have made you watch it before we talked about this because I was curious about your reaction. So it&#39;s interesting. There&#39;s obviously a whole group of people who are like, Great, thanks for reaching out. Here&#39;s what you should do, or whatever, right? Because the the baby is literally a month old. Like it&#39;s like a baby has like baby hair, which is bullshit. Gavin: 8:28 Sure. David: 8:29 So I don&#39;t know, though. I would call baby hair bullshit, but anyway, people saying, like, there&#39;s just so but a lot of people were mad that he was saying, Hey, black moms, I need black hair, black this. And he, and then that is not really the that is the main source of drama, which we can be for or against. Okay, but the thing that made me really sad about it was the majority of the comments were like, that poor baby, I&#39;ll adopt the baby, as if this gay white man, really gay man, I think is the code we&#39;re talking about. Yeah. Should not be able to parent this child. But talking about like the question behind the question, people That&#39;s a nuanced one for sure. Anyway, it&#39;s an interesting draw. It was like people were reposting this and saying, What do you think? It was like a big thing. This poor guy, like uh I I think he probably had it in his heart to do the right thing and like ask the right real question. It might have come out a little stumbly, but oof. Gavin: 9:23 It was I gotta say, my default, I would like to think, is um taking things as they&#39;re meant and knowing that, hey, if there were things that needed to be corrected in his language, perhaps, but it seems to me this was an earnest, yeah, pure sense of hey, I&#39;m I&#39;m looking to a village to help out here because that&#39;s what guess what? That&#39;s what parenting is. And I&#39;ve been taking things as it&#39;s meant since 2002, really. So guess what? There is not that much. I mean, so you just mentioned in the news, I was uh scanning the headlines, as it were, and there really wasn&#39;t a lot of gay news to bring, except a bunch of like pop music stuff and like I don&#39;t know, rivalries between um Travis Kelso and Taylor Swift and Republicans and all the stupid shit. David: 10:05 Travis Kelso. Gavin: 10:06 I was thinking of Andy Kelso. SPEAKER_05: 10:08 That&#39;s exactly who I was thinking about. Gavin: 10:10 Shout out Andy Kelso. If you want to be a guest on the show, you certainly can be. I don&#39;t know you, but I know who you are. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um, so but in the news, I will say there was something that was brought to my attention by NPR. Thank you very much. They were doing a report on TikTok journalists, essentially, and people who spend a lot of time essentially as an anchor on TikTok to bring news to people. Yeah. And so they the very first person they mentioned is Josh Helfgott, who is the gay news guy, and he does these really extensive um probing um news stories about gay news in the world. And it&#39;s very TikTok. I mean, I it&#39;s oh I yeah, it&#39;s overwhelming to watch him. I mean, there&#39;s a lot of TikTok energy there, but the guy is, you know, a journalist now. Like TikTok journalism, yo. I I suppose hard to fact check, but hopefully the the cream will riseth to the top, you know? Yeah. But since there really isn&#39;t any good gay news worth mentioning, um, I which is hopefully a good thing. There isn&#39;t any tragedies out there we want to talk about, thank goodness. Um, I thought, how about a dad hack this week? Yeah. How did you how have you how do you or how did you teach your kids to uh brush their teeth? Were did you have any secrets to doing it? David: 11:22 I fucking hate it. It&#39;s it&#39;s just number two under putting your shoes on, where it&#39;s just like a a fucking fight twice a day, every single day, and it makes me crazy. Gavin: 11:31 Or or six times a day or seven times a day. David: 11:34 Yeah, exactly. I will say that I have for sure been a little bit of a uh dad fail on this, where like my son is just like never wants to brush his own teeth, he always wants me to brush his teeth. And I have basically obliged, and he&#39;s already four. And yeah, so um I still brush my kids&#39; teeth. Gavin: 11:49 Just you wait, David. Eventually they won&#39;t want that anymore. Just you wait. Well, how about did you ever try to just sing a song during it? No, but that&#39;s a good idea. I do sing a lot of songs. If you do, um, we did the itsy bitsy spider for some reason, and you would do the itsy bitsy spider. You would, you know, do the mouth in quadrants and teach my kids to go itsy bitsy spider. You get it, you know, and like every two lines you switch um uh quadrant of your mouth. And I think that I there are occasionally times that I can hear my kids humming to themselves as they brush their teeth still. Now, I would say they also they brush to this at the speed of light, so that itsy bitsy spider barely makes it down. Of course, the water spout, or certainly doesn&#39;t get back up. But you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s a nice memory there. David: 12:33 Overtring so that&#39;s a good idea. Anyway, there you go. That&#39;s a good idea that I will totally ignore and just keep continuing to brush my. Sure. Yeah. Um, uh, let&#39;s uh move on to our next segment about failure, which is our top three list. Gatriarchs. Top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s list um is my list because it wasn&#39;t supposed to be my list, but it became my list because you forgot to create a list. So this week we&#39;re doing top three reasons Gavin should be fired from Gatriarchs. Gavin: 13:00 Interesting whether I don&#39;t know which one of us should start in this instance because since I am the topic du jour. Um Do you want to start? Yeah, I do want to start. All right. I do want to start. Okay, so for my top three reasons that I should be fired from Gatriarch, number three is lower the level of frustration in David&#39;s life. David: 13:20 If you put your shoes on, I&#39;m happy with you. If you put your shoes on when I tell you, I&#39;m actually okay with you. Gavin: 13:25 So the number two reason that I should be fired from Gatriarchs is I&#39;m generally delusional about the value I bring to Gatriarchs, which is probably because I&#39;m a white man. Unlike me, who&#39;s a whiter man. And the number one reason that I should be fired from gatriarchs is I am so good at being just good enough, which probably isn&#39;t actually good enough. Why are these so savage? David: 13:54 Why are you so mean to yourself? Gavin: 13:56 I uh they&#39;re cutting deep uh towards you as well. So I and also I needed to go savage on myself so that if you go any worse, you will feel tremendously guilty. David: 14:05 No, you&#39;re gonna feel really shitty because I&#39;m about to compliment you. All right, uh, top three reasons Gabe...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Love is in the air this week as Gavin and David discuss their VD, we list the top 3 reasons why Gavin should be fired from the show, and this week we are joined by author of the Scoochie &#38; Skiddles series Tom Tracy who talks with us about why so many gay Dads are authors lately, what the worst and best parts of parenting are, and exactly how late Madonna was to her concert. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll talk at you again and again and again and again and again next time on another episode of Gatriarchs. David: 0:11 That was the creative genius that you wanted to re-record for. That was that&#39;s what you spent time doing. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So I see that&#39;s right. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day. You knew what I was gonna say already. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day, Gavin. I love you. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day to you, David. I love you. And to all of our listeners out there, we love you. Thank you for sticking with us. This is our first Valentine&#39;s episode, right? I think somehow we missed it last year. I&#39;m sure we celebrated it, but I think no, I think we started just after, right? David: 0:59 Didn&#39;t we start in March of last year? I think we&#39;re coming up on our one-year anniversary. Gavin: 1:03 Oh my gosh, what are we gonna do to celebrate that? David: 1:05 I don&#39;t know. We should have our listener over and maybe like make a cake or something. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, come on over. And uh never not funny. Gavin: 1:14 Never not funny, even if just to you and me. So, what is the best part about Valentine&#39;s Day for you? Let me give you a second as I tell you. My favorite thing is that when kids are little, the excitement of spreading Valentine&#39;s joy is so wonderful. And I love that they all say I love you. Like kindergartners and first graders. You know, what I mean is the boys say I love you to the other boys. And of course, I just mean that in the beautiful simplicity of it all, just the purity, you know? And then we grow up, and it&#39;s really just a day for everybody to feel less than because they see everybody on social media going over a board and you&#39;re and I&#39;m sitting home thinking, oh fuck, that&#39;s right. It&#39;s Valentine&#39;s Day. Does it mean anything if I run out to Walgreens right now to get chocolate? David: 2:00 I should have saved this for our top three this week, but I love how you ask me a question and it&#39;s like, don&#39;t talk. Don&#39;t talk. Let me answer the question I asked you. Gavin: 2:10 You&#39;re right. It&#39;s it&#39;s my fatal flaw in podcasting. But at the same time, this for all of our listeners out there, we uh we do follow an outline, so we&#39;re not completely bonkers as we do this. And I this is a surprise question. And I didn&#39;t want to have to put you on the spot. So And also I just want to talk. Moving on to the next topic. David: 2:29 Anyway, well, it&#39;s actually it&#39;s actually fine to move on because we look, I found my What is your favorite thing about my? Well, I was gonna say, well, my found my person because my husband and I are not at all, we don&#39;t care about dates or or holidays in that way. Like, so like our anniversary, for example, we had our 12-year anniversary. Woo! Cute this audience crowd noise. Uh-huh. A couple months ago. And we were in uh we&#39;re at a friend&#39;s house. Um, they were having a party. We were just literally in the kitchen eating, you know, pretzels over the sink or whatever you do at these parties. And and he goes, Wait, I think today&#39;s our anniversary. I was like, Oh yeah. And we went, happy anniversary, and that was it. And that is literally how we spend uh Valentine&#39;s, even like I&#39;m not birthdays, but like we just there&#39;s solo stakes for us because we&#39;re pretty lovey and regular days. So I don&#39;t, ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Love is in the air this week as Gavin and David discuss their VD, we list the top 3 reasons why Gavin should be fired from the show, and this week we are joined by author of the Scoochie &#38; Skiddles series Tom Tracy who talks with us about why so many gay Dads are authors lately, what the worst and best parts of parenting are, and exactly how late Madonna was to her concert. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll talk at you again and again and again and again and again next time on another episode of Gatriarchs. David: 0:11 That was the creative genius that you wanted to re-record for. That was that&#39;s what you spent time doing. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:34 So I see that&#39;s right. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day. You knew what I was gonna say already. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day, Gavin. I love you. Happy Valentine&#39;s Day to you, David.]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Stuart Bell of Growing Generations Surrogacy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-stuart-bell-of-growing-generations-surrogacy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Feb 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son still doesn&apos;t have a Mom, Dolly Parton shares some exciting news, we talk about the 3 things our kids will tell their therapists about us, and we are joined by Senior Partner of Growing Generations Surrogacy Stuart Bell, who fills us in on what it&apos;s like having big time celebrity clients, a nightmare scenario in his past, and what this thing called &#34;tennis&#34; is. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Like, I cannot imagine it&#39;s gonna cost more than four thousand dollars. It&#39;s just sucking the fat out from underneath my eyeballs. That&#39;s a reasonable Is that fat? Like, I mean, is it that&#39;s what it is? Do you know that I had a headshot photographer one time was taking my pictures when I was 23 and said, Oh, yeah, yeah, that stuff underneath your eyes. That&#39;s just fat. We could suck that out. I was like, I&#39;m 23. I am beautiful, ma&#39;am. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I think a couple episodes ago I told you about there was a little girl in my son&#39;s class, who, by the way, is super annoying, but that&#39;s another story. Um, who keeps asking out loud why Emmett doesn&#39;t have a mom. Gavin: 0:53 Oh, do you remember this? Really? Like, no, Emmett have a mom. I bet our seven listeners remember it, but you know, me, I mean my mind is a sieve, because why? I&#39;m tired as fuck and I&#39;m a dad. And I&#39;m old. David: 1:04 And uh anyway, yeah. But um, so he she would be like, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a dad or a mom? Like really loud. And I just this could have been my, I guess, uh something great, but I wanted to start off by saying, like, I had kind of planned for this, but not from a you know, a four-year-old, annoying little girl. Yeah, she, you know, she says it out loud so kids can hear it, teachers can hear it, but Emmett can hear it. And so my response was, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mom, he has two dads. And that, and then I continued to, you know, pack his bag and get it right. And obviously, I&#39;m I&#39;m performing it as casual and as upbeat as possible. But anyway, so this girl, again, the other day, out loud, when there&#39;s two people in the classroom, says really loud, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a mommy? Uh-and I can see Emmett looking at me, and I just again, I was like, you know, he has two two dads. Um, he doesn&#39;t have a mom. Isn&#39;t that great? But I what was really isn&#39;t that great? I&#39;ve definitely done that. I mean, overcompensating for sure, but trying to do it. Totally. But but I noticed the teachers watching me and kind of whispering to each other. So I took it as like a very kind of like teachable moment of like, yeah, this is how we talk about this. And this is simply, but directly and simply, and not as if we&#39;re like uh exposing a cancer diagnosis. This is like, you know what I mean? Like, this is like, oh, like I like bacon and eggs for breakfast, you like cereal, and then we move on with our day. So I try to be like, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mommy, he has two dad, two daddies, and then leaving it there so they can kind of absorb my tone and my point of view about it. Anyway, I I just wanted to start by saying, like, this shit is gonna come up a lot for those of you who have parents that are about to be in school or who don&#39;t have kids yet. And so start kind of rehearsing your answers now because it doesn&#39;t stop. The lady at the grocery store is gonna ask. Definitely does. The little annoying girl in his class is gonna ask. So anyway. Gavin: 2:59 But also, that is a cross to bear for us in that um, you know, I think uh in the life span, the the the parenting span of every gay dad and and gay mom and whatnot, somebody&#39;s always gonna kind of piss you off by assuming that you&#39;re straight or whatever, or have a reaction like, oh, that&#39;s so different. And I think we all kind of go through a grieving stage of being like, I was so mad, and we&#39;re all incensed, and we&#39;re like, how dare this world? But you know what? It is just what we have to deal with. And you can kind of choose not to get upset about it. David: 3:31 I also think it&#39;s cute that you think anyone has ever assumed I was straight. That&#39;s very cute. That&#39;s cute of you. Gavin: 3:36 Um, that&#39;s funny. Um, yeah, I uh I&#39;m with you entirely, but it is across the bear, and it&#39;s funny to see on social media, I think new dads just getting absolutely irate about it. And you kind of be like, listen, yeah. It&#39;s just it&#39;s just the reality. David: 3:53 Like let&#39;s fight, let&#39;s fight for change, but also like this is going to be your day-to-day reality. So prepare for it. Don&#39;t, don&#39;t just be, you know, irate when it happens. Gavin: 4:01 Yep. Agreed. Agreed. So speaking of getting irate about things and being offended for legitimate reasons. My daughter is in middle school, and I am lucky enough to be at a middle school, or she&#39;s lucky enough to be at a middle school, where they do a musical. Like they really go through the efforts of, and I mean, I didn&#39;t grow up with a school musical in middle school. I don&#39;t know about you. And uh, it&#39;s a lot, you know, and it&#39;s a lot for the teachers to take on. Can you imagine how teaching kids all day long and then staying? I mean, I&#39;m sure she&#39;s paid for it, but we know it ain&#39;t handsomely. She stays to rehearse, you know, 70 wild animals with hormones raging to 11, 12, 13-year-olds to actually step kick at the same time. David: 4:44 Like not interested. Gavin: 4:46 Sainthood. Sainthood. Anyway, no. Um, my daughter, despite the fact that she is naturally talented, absolutely refuses to do anything remotely like her dad&#39;s. You know, she is determined to be an athlete because I mean, I and I understand she needs to do her rebellion, that&#39;s fine. But also, I&#39;m like, well, you know what? Theater kids are really, really fun. And um, you know, it&#39;s the theater kids are the ones who like go on to be really creative and I think successful, whether or not they go into theater or not. But like, who doesn&#39;t want to be part of the theater crowd, right? Even though it&#39;s sort of a joke, but like, let&#39;s be honest, they&#39;re great, right? She said, Dad, I&#39;m not gonna hang out with the theater kids because they&#39;re just because theater is just therapy for emo kids. I&#39;m like, wait, what? Wait, why is she being accurate? Why is she being accurate? Theater is emotherapy, is her actual statement. And you&#39;re right though, it&#39;s funny because it&#39;s true. And that&#39;s okay. David: 5:44 I&#39;m okay with it. It&#39;s a home for the broken. Um, yeah. I mean, but but but that&#39;s the thing, is like, that&#39;s why it&#39;s great. Is because, like, you know what I mean? No. Gavin: 5:53 You&#39;re not pretending to be perfect, you&#39;re not pretending to be a mean girl, you&#39;re not dominating other people, you&#39;re just being a fun person, right? I mean, come on. So, anyway, eventually she will figure that out and hopefully go through her own emotherapy or her whatever therapy it is to be in theater. So good for her. Speaking of theater, did you know that Dolly is writing her own musical about her life? It&#39;s gonna be a biopic musical about Dolly Parton. David: 6:23 I did not know that, and I saw it on the worksheet, and I was like, um, my heart started skipping a beat for two reasons. One, I was super excited because I fucking love Dolly Parton. It&#39;s in my day DNA. Um but the second part of my heart palpitations, other than I&#39;m old and have heart disease, is I am afraid of it of them getting it wrong. But when you say Dolly&#39;s in charge, she&#39;s happy, right? Because I don&#39;t want to see, I don&#39;t want to see a bunch of drag queens performing her life in a silly like, but I want like a raw, real, I don&#39;t want like a backdrop of country roads and some sure singing on city center. I want something real and organic. So I have a feeling that she&#39;s if she&#39;s gonna be on the top of this, she&#39;s gonna write a lot of new music. That&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 7:10 Like, I I feel good about it. Yeah, I feel really good about it. And uh the wonderful thing about her is her authenticity, of course. I mean, I know I&#39;m stating the obvious, but she&#39;s so authentic in her inauthenticity and her self-awareness, which is just so fucking fabulous. And I I believe that she doesn&#39;t mind exposing warts, and she&#39;s gonna she&#39;s gonna do it. Um, and um, and also be like, I&#39;m not gonna show you these warts here because it is my story to tell, but it&#39;ll be uh you just know it&#39;s gonna be great. David: 7:37 But it&#39;s so it&#39;s it&#39;s she perfectly exemplifies what I think a lot of gays do with like taking back um ammunition from your oppressor and and hold like us saying the word faggot, right? Like you can&#39;t use that word because I&#39;m now using that word. And the way she&#39;s like, oh yeah, my tits are fake and my nails are fake and blah, blah, blah. Like, she&#39;s taking it away from all of you, and she still wins. I I just worship that woman, uh, and I&#39;m I&#39;m sure you do too. Gavin: 8:06 I&#39;m sure that everybody knows the story, but it bears repeating. I think that I love her story about how um I mean, I think I heard her on Oprah or somewhere talk about how she saw a woman that looked like Dolly of, well, let&#39;s say the 80s when she was a little kid, and she said to her mom, Hey, mom, what what you know, what&#39;s the story with that girl, that woman? And her mom said, Well, she&#39;s just trash. And she said, Oh, well, then I want to grow up to be trash. And so she embodies entirely everything that she saw back then. And um, I mean, again, it&#39;s uh I&#39;m not saying that she is trash by any stretch, or people who want to present themselves as Dolly is trash, but like she knows who she is and what she looks like and all the things. So good for that. David: 8:49 She&#39;s not trash, but you know who trash who is trash? Do tell. Us. Trash. Garbage. Gavin: 8:55 And you know, yeah. And we are um embodying that and hoping to be trashier the older as we grow up. When I grow up, I want to be trash. Um, but speaking of growing up, then also, once more, a little bit of gay news. You&#39;re welcome here at America&#39;s Finest News Source. Um, did you know that the um Washington state legislature is currently proposing a bill that is the antithesis of anything going on in Florida? Big surprise. I mean, they&#39;re diametrically polar opposite states, both geographically and politically. Anyway, they are um introducing a mandate to say you have to teach the history of marginalized populations. And that includes people of color, people with disabilities, people who are neurodiverse, those from religious backgrounds, and of course the LGBTQ plus community. And that is good news for us. So let&#39;s hope it passes and spreads like wildfire so that we can bring it back to Dolly, have truth and authenticity authenticity in our history. David: 9:56 What about the history of 44-year-old men who eat popcorn on the couch? Gavin: 10:02 That, I mean, you want to talk about an undiscovered marginalized community? David: 10:06 Yeah. Gavin: 10:07 Yeah, that&#39;s us. Um Hey, what write up your history chapter and send it to the Washington State Legislature. And I want to see that. Uh, can we put that in our show notes or in our blog? David: 10:17 Yeah, put it on our blog. We could take a time machine back to 2003 and put it on our blog. Gavin: 10:25 Um, here is my perennial worry as a father is how much do you push your kid? How much do you say, no, get off the couch and we&#39;re gonna go do something that you&#39;re suddenly scared of? Because it&#39;s it takes a lot to try something new and get in new circles of people and and have to make new friends or just even new acquaintances. And so last year, uh my daughter said that she wanted to take tennis lessons. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m thrilled to hear that. Let&#39;s do it. We go, she sees uh we basically scouted the lesson. She said, Those are five-year-olds. And I&#39;m like, sweetie. First of all, they&#39;re not five, but sweetie, you don&#39;t have the tennis skills. So you need to start here and work hard. You suck, girl. You suck. Girl, you suck and you need to work hard so that you don&#39;t suck and move up a level, right? So uh last night, just last night, I took her, not kicking and screaming, but definitely stomping, pouting, and uh screen agering and just staring at her phone with full contempt as I drove her over to. That&#39;s good. Uh that&#39;s hers, screenager driving over to the tennis lesson. And um, she went in the class and it was exactly the same kids that I saw last week. They are not five years old, although a couple might be pretty close to it. But there were some kids for the middle school as well, and she had a great time. But believe me, driving over there, I was like, uh, maybe I just call her beloved. I say, nope, that&#39;s fine. Then you&#39;re not doing it. And by the way, I&#39;m gonna take your phone away for uh an untold amount of time for to cure my vindictiveness and cynicism. But like, no, I stayed calm and I&#39;m like, you&#39;re gonna do it. And I get it. It is scary to jump into new pools and to be in a new group of people. It is scary, but we can&#39;t let our kids just dictate that everything&#39;s scary so they don&#39;t do anything, right? Like it&#39;s a balance. Sometimes you do have to say, yes, your mental health is important and you draw your limits fine, but like that&#39;s everybody&#39;s problem, right? Like from toddlers to geriatrics, it&#39;s tough to try new shit. But yeah, I mean, what&#39;s the point of living? David: 12:32 Right? I I we we put our son into swimming classes and it was pretty good and he was getting better, but then he was like, the pool was really cold. And every time we mentioned it afterwards, he was like, I don&#39;t want to go back. And I kept thinking, you need to learn how to swim. Yes. And then it&#39;s the same thing. We&#39;re like, do I want to carry him kicking and screaming every single day for six weeks, or do I just want to give myself a break? And when I give myself a break, there&#39;s all the yeah, yeah. No, I get it. Uh, the answer is whatever you do is wrong. That&#39;s the answer. Whatever you do is wrong. That&#39;s it. Gavin: 13:03 In my case, she did her tennis lesson. She totally had a great time. She said, I sucked. I&#39;m like, you didn&#39;t suck as much as some other kids. It&#39;s all right. I mean, yeah, but she found her niche and she had a good time. And she immediately walked out and I said, How was it? She said, It was fun. I said, Do you want to do it again? She said, Yeah, but I have to get new shoes because I cannot wear these shoes again next week. David: 13:24 Be honest. Were you wine drunk watching her? Be honest. Gavin: 13:29 No, but dry is over. David: 13:32 So I was wine drunk afterwards. I&#39;m doing no sugar February, and it&#39;s day two, and I want to jump off a bridge. So that&#39;s really fun. Anyway, um, speaking of jumping off a bridge, let&#39;s do our top three lists, shall we? Gavin: 13:44 Gate three. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:49 What is this week&#39;s topic? It&#39;s your topic. It&#39;s um no, it&#39;s my topic. It&#39;s my no, no, it&#39;s my topic. I it&#39;s I&#39;m ready for it. I can we can introduce it just like the best of them. No, it&#39;s the top three things that your kid is gonna tell his therapist about you. Um, so it is my list because I knew that. And uh, so I&#39;ll go first. So um I&#39;m gonna um make mine way nicer than uh the actual traumas on. SPEAKER_03: 14:13 Oh, great. David: 14:14 Uh, but the first one, the first one&#39;s pretty bad. Uh, and number three, I look at my stomach in the mirror every time I pass a mirror. Every time I pass a mirror, I look at myself, I hate...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son still doesn&apos;t have a Mom, Dolly Parton shares some exciting news, we talk about the 3 things our kids will tell their therapists about us, and we are joined by Senior Partner of Growing Generations Surrogacy Stuart Bell, ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son still doesn&apos;t have a Mom, Dolly Parton shares some exciting news, we talk about the 3 things our kids will tell their therapists about us, and we are joined by Senior Partner of Growing Generations Surrogacy Stuart Bell, who fills us in on what it&apos;s like having big time celebrity clients, a nightmare scenario in his past, and what this thing called &#34;tennis&#34; is. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Like, I cannot imagine it&#39;s gonna cost more than four thousand dollars. It&#39;s just sucking the fat out from underneath my eyeballs. That&#39;s a reasonable Is that fat? Like, I mean, is it that&#39;s what it is? Do you know that I had a headshot photographer one time was taking my pictures when I was 23 and said, Oh, yeah, yeah, that stuff underneath your eyes. That&#39;s just fat. We could suck that out. I was like, I&#39;m 23. I am beautiful, ma&#39;am. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I think a couple episodes ago I told you about there was a little girl in my son&#39;s class, who, by the way, is super annoying, but that&#39;s another story. Um, who keeps asking out loud why Emmett doesn&#39;t have a mom. Gavin: 0:53 Oh, do you remember this? Really? Like, no, Emmett have a mom. I bet our seven listeners remember it, but you know, me, I mean my mind is a sieve, because why? I&#39;m tired as fuck and I&#39;m a dad. And I&#39;m old. David: 1:04 And uh anyway, yeah. But um, so he she would be like, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a dad or a mom? Like really loud. And I just this could have been my, I guess, uh something great, but I wanted to start off by saying, like, I had kind of planned for this, but not from a you know, a four-year-old, annoying little girl. Yeah, she, you know, she says it out loud so kids can hear it, teachers can hear it, but Emmett can hear it. And so my response was, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mom, he has two dads. And that, and then I continued to, you know, pack his bag and get it right. And obviously, I&#39;m I&#39;m performing it as casual and as upbeat as possible. But anyway, so this girl, again, the other day, out loud, when there&#39;s two people in the classroom, says really loud, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a mommy? Uh-and I can see Emmett looking at me, and I just again, I was like, you know, he has two two dads. Um, he doesn&#39;t have a mom. Isn&#39;t that great? But I what was really isn&#39;t that great? I&#39;ve definitely done that. I mean, overcompensating for sure, but trying to do it. Totally. But but I noticed the teachers watching me and kind of whispering to each other. So I took it as like a very kind of like teachable moment of like, yeah, this is how we talk about this. And this is simply, but directly and simply, and not as if we&#39;re like uh exposing a cancer diagnosis. This is like, you know what I mean? Like, this is like, oh, like I like bacon and eggs for breakfast, you like cereal, and then we move on with our day. So I try to be like, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mommy, he has two dad, two daddies, and then leaving it there so they can kind of absorb my tone and my point of view about it. Anyway, I I just wanted to start by saying, like, this shit is gonna come up a lot for those of you who have parents that are about to be in school or who don&#39;t have kids yet. And so start kind of rehearsing your answers now because it doesn&#39;t stop. The lady at the grocery store is gonna ask. Definitely does. The little annoying girl in his class is gonna ask. So anyway. Gavin: 2:59 But also, that is a cross to bear for us in that um, you know, I think uh in the life span, the the the parenting span of every gay dad and and gay mom and whatnot, somebody&#39;s always gonna kind of piss you off by assuming that you&#39;re straight or whatever, or have a reaction like, oh, that&#39;s so different. And I think we all kind of go through a grieving stage of being like, I was so mad, and we&#39;re all incensed, and we&#39;re like, how dare this world? But you know what? It is just what we have to deal with. And you can kind of choose not to get upset about it. David: 3:31 I also think it&#39;s cute that you think anyone has ever assumed I was straight. That&#39;s very cute. That&#39;s cute of you. Gavin: 3:36 Um, that&#39;s funny. Um, yeah, I uh I&#39;m with you entirely, but it is across the bear, and it&#39;s funny to see on social media, I think new dads just getting absolutely irate about it. And you kind of be like, listen, yeah. It&#39;s just it&#39;s just the reality. David: 3:53 Like let&#39;s fight, let&#39;s fight for change, but also like this is going to be your day-to-day reality. So prepare for it. Don&#39;t, don&#39;t just be, you know, irate when it happens. Gavin: 4:01 Yep. Agreed. Agreed. So speaking of getting irate about things and being offended for legitimate reasons. My daughter is in middle school, and I am lucky enough to be at a middle school, or she&#39;s lucky enough to be at a middle school, where they do a musical. Like they really go through the efforts of, and I mean, I didn&#39;t grow up with a school musical in middle school. I don&#39;t know about you. And uh, it&#39;s a lot, you know, and it&#39;s a lot for the teachers to take on. Can you imagine how teaching kids all day long and then staying? I mean, I&#39;m sure she&#39;s paid for it, but we know it ain&#39;t handsomely. She stays to rehearse, you know, 70 wild animals with hormones raging to 11, 12, 13-year-olds to actually step kick at the same time. David: 4:44 Like not interested. Gavin: 4:46 Sainthood. Sainthood. Anyway, no. Um, my daughter, despite the fact that she is naturally talented, absolutely refuses to do anything remotely like her dad&#39;s. You know, she is determined to be an athlete because I mean, I and I understand she needs to do her rebellion, that&#39;s fine. But also, I&#39;m like, well, you know what? Theater kids are really, really fun. And um, you know, it&#39;s the theater kids are the ones who like go on to be really creative and I think successful, whether or not they go into theater or not. But like, who doesn&#39;t want to be part of the theater crowd, right? Even though it&#39;s sort of a joke, but like, let&#39;s be honest, they&#39;re great, right? She said, Dad, I&#39;m not gonna hang out with the theater kids because they&#39;re just because theater is just therapy for emo kids. I&#39;m like, wait, what? Wait, why is she being accurate? Why is she being accurate? Theater is emotherapy, is her actual statement. And you&#39;re right though, it&#39;s funny because it&#39;s true. And that&#39;s okay. David: 5:44 I&#39;m okay with it. It&#39;s a home for the broken. Um, yeah. I mean, but but but that&#39;s the thing, is like, that&#39;s why it&#39;s great. Is because, like, you know what I mean? No. Gavin: 5:53 You&#39;re not pretending to be perfect, you&#39;re not pretending to be a mean girl, you&#39;re not dominating other people, you&#39;re just being a fun person, right? I mean, come on. So, anyway, eventually she will figure that out and hopefully go through her own emotherapy or her whatever therapy it is to be in theater. So good for her. Speaking of theater, did you know that Dolly is writing her own musical about her life? It&#39;s gonna be a biopic musical about Dolly Parton. David: 6:23 I did not know that, and I saw it on the worksheet, and I was like, um, my heart started skipping a beat for two reasons. One, I was super excited because I fucking love Dolly Parton. It&#39;s in my day DNA. Um but the second part of my heart palpitations, other than I&#39;m old and have heart disease, is I am afraid of it of them getting it wrong. But when you say Dolly&#39;s in charge, she&#39;s happy, right? Because I don&#39;t want to see, I don&#39;t want to see a bunch of drag queens performing her life in a silly like, but I want like a raw, real, I don&#39;t want like a backdrop of country roads and some sure singing on city center. I want something real and organic. So I have a feeling that she&#39;s if she&#39;s gonna be on the top of this, she&#39;s gonna write a lot of new music. That&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 7:10 Like, I I feel good about it. Yeah, I feel really good about it. And uh the wonderful thing about her is her authenticity, of course. I mean, I know I&#39;m stating the obvious, but she&#39;s so authentic in her inauthenticity and her self-awareness, which is just so fucking fabulous. And I I believe that she doesn&#39;t mind exposing warts, and she&#39;s gonna she&#39;s gonna do it. Um, and um, and also be like, I&#39;m not gonna show you these warts here because it is my story to tell, but it&#39;ll be uh you just know it&#39;s gonna be great. David: 7:37 But it&#39;s so it&#39;s it&#39;s she perfectly exemplifies what I think a lot of gays do with like taking back um ammunition from your oppressor and and hold like us saying the word faggot, right? Like you can&#39;t use that word because I&#39;m now using that word. And the way she&#39;s like, oh yeah, my tits are fake and my nails are fake and blah, blah, blah. Like, she&#39;s taking it away from all of you, and she still wins. I I just worship that woman, uh, and I&#39;m I&#39;m sure you do too. Gavin: 8:06 I&#39;m sure that everybody knows the story, but it bears repeating. I think that I love her story about how um I mean, I think I heard her on Oprah or somewhere talk about how she saw a woman that looked like Dolly of, well, let&#39;s say the 80s when she was a little kid, and she said to her mom, Hey, mom, what what you know, what&#39;s the story with that girl, that woman? And her mom said, Well, she&#39;s just trash. And she said, Oh, well, then I want to grow up to be trash. And so she embodies entirely everything that she saw back then. And um, I mean, again, it&#39;s uh I&#39;m not saying that she is trash by any stretch, or people who want to present themselves as Dolly is trash, but like she knows who she is and what she looks like and all the things. So good for that. David: 8:49 She&#39;s not trash, but you know who trash who is trash? Do tell. Us. Trash. Garbage. Gavin: 8:55 And you know, yeah. And we are um embodying that and hoping to be trashier the older as we grow up. When I grow up, I want to be trash. Um, but speaking of growing up, then also, once more, a little bit of gay news. You&#39;re welcome here at America&#39;s Finest News Source. Um, did you know that the um Washington state legislature is currently proposing a bill that is the antithesis of anything going on in Florida? Big surprise. I mean, they&#39;re diametrically polar opposite states, both geographically and politically. Anyway, they are um introducing a mandate to say you have to teach the history of marginalized populations. And that includes people of color, people with disabilities, people who are neurodiverse, those from religious backgrounds, and of course the LGBTQ plus community. And that is good news for us. So let&#39;s hope it passes and spreads like wildfire so that we can bring it back to Dolly, have truth and authenticity authenticity in our history. David: 9:56 What about the history of 44-year-old men who eat popcorn on the couch? Gavin: 10:02 That, I mean, you want to talk about an undiscovered marginalized community? David: 10:06 Yeah. Gavin: 10:07 Yeah, that&#39;s us. Um Hey, what write up your history chapter and send it to the Washington State Legislature. And I want to see that. Uh, can we put that in our show notes or in our blog? David: 10:17 Yeah, put it on our blog. We could take a time machine back to 2003 and put it on our blog. Gavin: 10:25 Um, here is my perennial worry as a father is how much do you push your kid? How much do you say, no, get off the couch and we&#39;re gonna go do something that you&#39;re suddenly scared of? Because it&#39;s it takes a lot to try something new and get in new circles of people and and have to make new friends or just even new acquaintances. And so last year, uh my daughter said that she wanted to take tennis lessons. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m thrilled to hear that. Let&#39;s do it. We go, she sees uh we basically scouted the lesson. She said, Those are five-year-olds. And I&#39;m like, sweetie. First of all, they&#39;re not five, but sweetie, you don&#39;t have the tennis skills. So you need to start here and work hard. You suck, girl. You suck. Girl, you suck and you need to work hard so that you don&#39;t suck and move up a level, right? So uh last night, just last night, I took her, not kicking and screaming, but definitely stomping, pouting, and uh screen agering and just staring at her phone with full contempt as I drove her over to. That&#39;s good. Uh that&#39;s hers, screenager driving over to the tennis lesson. And um, she went in the class and it was exactly the same kids that I saw last week. They are not five years old, although a couple might be pretty close to it. But there were some kids for the middle school as well, and she had a great time. But believe me, driving over there, I was like, uh, maybe I just call her beloved. I say, nope, that&#39;s fine. Then you&#39;re not doing it. And by the way, I&#39;m gonna take your phone away for uh an untold amount of time for to cure my vindictiveness and cynicism. But like, no, I stayed calm and I&#39;m like, you&#39;re gonna do it. And I get it. It is scary to jump into new pools and to be in a new group of people. It is scary, but we can&#39;t let our kids just dictate that everything&#39;s scary so they don&#39;t do anything, right? Like it&#39;s a balance. Sometimes you do have to say, yes, your mental health is important and you draw your limits fine, but like that&#39;s everybody&#39;s problem, right? Like from toddlers to geriatrics, it&#39;s tough to try new shit. But yeah, I mean, what&#39;s the point of living? David: 12:32 Right? I I we we put our son into swimming classes and it was pretty good and he was getting better, but then he was like, the pool was really cold. And every time we mentioned it afterwards, he was like, I don&#39;t want to go back. And I kept thinking, you need to learn how to swim. Yes. And then it&#39;s the same thing. We&#39;re like, do I want to carry him kicking and screaming every single day for six weeks, or do I just want to give myself a break? And when I give myself a break, there&#39;s all the yeah, yeah. No, I get it. Uh, the answer is whatever you do is wrong. That&#39;s the answer. Whatever you do is wrong. That&#39;s it. Gavin: 13:03 In my case, she did her tennis lesson. She totally had a great time. She said, I sucked. I&#39;m like, you didn&#39;t suck as much as some other kids. It&#39;s all right. I mean, yeah, but she found her niche and she had a good time. And she immediately walked out and I said, How was it? She said, It was fun. I said, Do you want to do it again? She said, Yeah, but I have to get new shoes because I cannot wear these shoes again next week. David: 13:24 Be honest. Were you wine drunk watching her? Be honest. Gavin: 13:29 No, but dry is over. David: 13:32 So I was wine drunk afterwards. I&#39;m doing no sugar February, and it&#39;s day two, and I want to jump off a bridge. So that&#39;s really fun. Anyway, um, speaking of jumping off a bridge, let&#39;s do our top three lists, shall we? Gavin: 13:44 Gate three. Top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:49 What is this week&#39;s topic? It&#39;s your topic. It&#39;s um no, it&#39;s my topic. It&#39;s my no, no, it&#39;s my topic. I it&#39;s I&#39;m ready for it. I can we can introduce it just like the best of them. No, it&#39;s the top three things that your kid is gonna tell his therapist about you. Um, so it is my list because I knew that. And uh, so I&#39;ll go first. So um I&#39;m gonna um make mine way nicer than uh the actual traumas on. SPEAKER_03: 14:13 Oh, great. David: 14:14 Uh, but the first one, the first one&#39;s pretty bad. Uh, and number three, I look at my stomach in the mirror every time I pass a mirror. Every time I pass a mirror, I look at myself, I hate...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son still doesn&apos;t have a Mom, Dolly Parton shares some exciting news, we talk about the 3 things our kids will tell their therapists about us, and we are joined by Senior Partner of Growing Generations Surrogacy Stuart Bell, who fills us in on what it&apos;s like having big time celebrity clients, a nightmare scenario in his past, and what this thing called &#34;tennis&#34; is. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Like, I cannot imagine it&#39;s gonna cost more than four thousand dollars. It&#39;s just sucking the fat out from underneath my eyeballs. That&#39;s a reasonable Is that fat? Like, I mean, is it that&#39;s what it is? Do you know that I had a headshot photographer one time was taking my pictures when I was 23 and said, Oh, yeah, yeah, that stuff underneath your eyes. That&#39;s just fat. We could suck that out. I was like, I&#39;m 23. I am beautiful, ma&#39;am. And this is Gatriarchs. Okay, so I think a couple episodes ago I told you about there was a little girl in my son&#39;s class, who, by the way, is super annoying, but that&#39;s another story. Um, who keeps asking out loud why Emmett doesn&#39;t have a mom. Gavin: 0:53 Oh, do you remember this? Really? Like, no, Emmett have a mom. I bet our seven listeners remember it, but you know, me, I mean my mind is a sieve, because why? I&#39;m tired as fuck and I&#39;m a dad. And I&#39;m old. David: 1:04 And uh anyway, yeah. But um, so he she would be like, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a dad or a mom? Like really loud. And I just this could have been my, I guess, uh something great, but I wanted to start off by saying, like, I had kind of planned for this, but not from a you know, a four-year-old, annoying little girl. Yeah, she, you know, she says it out loud so kids can hear it, teachers can hear it, but Emmett can hear it. And so my response was, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mom, he has two dads. And that, and then I continued to, you know, pack his bag and get it right. And obviously, I&#39;m I&#39;m performing it as casual and as upbeat as possible. But anyway, so this girl, again, the other day, out loud, when there&#39;s two people in the classroom, says really loud, why doesn&#39;t Emmett have a mommy? Uh-and I can see Emmett looking at me, and I just again, I was like, you know, he has two two dads. Um, he doesn&#39;t have a mom. Isn&#39;t that great? But I what was really isn&#39;t that great? I&#39;ve definitely done that. I mean, overcompensating for sure, but trying to do it. Totally. But but I noticed the teachers watching me and kind of whispering to each other. So I took it as like a very kind of like teachable moment of like, yeah, this is how we talk about this. And this is simply, but directly and simply, and not as if we&#39;re like uh exposing a cancer diagnosis. This is like, you know what I mean? Like, this is like, oh, like I like bacon and eggs for breakfast, you like cereal, and then we move on with our day. So I try to be like, oh, he doesn&#39;t have a mommy, he has two dad, two daddies, and then leaving it there so they can kind of absorb my tone and my point of view about it. Anyway, I I just wanted to start by saying, like, this shit is gonna come up a lot for those of you who have parents that are about to be in school or who don&#39;t have kids yet. And so start kind of rehearsing your answers now because it doesn&#39;t stop. The lady at the grocery store is gonna ask. Definitely does. The little annoying girl in his class is gonna ask. So anyway. Gavin: 2:59 But also, that is a cross to bear for us in that um, you know, I think uh in the life span, the the the parenting span of every gay dad and and gay mom and whatnot, somebody&#39;s always gonna kind of piss you off by assuming that you&#39;re straight or whatever, or have a reaction like, oh, that&#39;s so different. And I think we all kin]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son still doesn&apos;t have a Mom, Dolly Parton shares some exciting news, we talk about the 3 things our kids will tell their therapists about us, and we are joined by Senior Partner of Growing Generations Surrogacy Stuart Bell, who fills us in on what it&apos;s like having big time celebrity clients, a nightmare scenario in his past, and what this thing called &#34;tennis&#34; is. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Like, I cannot imagine it&#39;s gonna cost more than four thousand dollars. It&#39;s just sucking the fat out from underneath my eyeballs. That&#39;s a reasonable Is that fat? Like, I mean, is it that&#39;s what it is? Do you know that I had a headshot photographer one time was taking my pictures when I was 23 and said, Oh, yeah, yeah, that stuff underneath your eyes. That&#39;s just fat. We could suck that out. I was like, I&#3]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Eric Sciotto</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-eric-sciotto/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 31 Jan 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David updates us on his magical &#34;no crying&#34; Dad hack, Gavin lets us in on his most recent fatherhood fail, we do another round of &#34;What would you do?,&#34; and this week we are lucky to be joined by Broadway sensation and recent Utah transplant Eric Sciotto, as he takes us through what it&apos;s like to be a life-long New Yorker and move across the country with two teenage kids.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Well speaking of interesting uh downward smile well speaking of terrible things and uh kind of like transition. Gavin: 0:08 That was a terrible transition, and this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:24 So remember last week when I was telling you about my really cool dad hack about just telling your two-year-old not to cry, and they magically don&#39;t cry. Oh boy, that took a long time. So I have an update. I&#39;m a delusional asshole. And my daughter who cries nonstop about everything is continuing to do so. Um, yeah, that that whole like don&#39;t cry thing worked for literally two nights in a row, and then we recorded our episode. And ever since she cries dinner, after dinner, before bed, during bed, as she goes to sleep. She cries all the time. But you know what else is going on. Gavin: 1:04 To your credit, I&#39;m gonna try to give you the credit. You knew that this has played out exactly the way you expected. David: 1:09 Well, really, real what I really wanted to happen was for her just to never cry again and me to be like, nanny nanny boo-boo, I&#39;m a better dad than you. Um, but it didn&#39;t happen. But part of it is because my daughter got, of course, like they all do at daycare, she got conjunctivitis slash an eye infection. So the cure for that is eye drops. Um have you ever tried to put eye drops in a feral monkey? Gavin: 1:33 Um, I don&#39;t think I ever have. But also, my kids both have glasses, which has nothing to do with like eye drops, except there&#39;s they have more stuff around their eyes. God, I cannot remember ever actually putting eye drops in them. Although we&#39;ve done it, but I will tell you, I remember having pink eye when I was in kindergarten or something like that, and my mother straddling my chest with her knees on each of my arms as I&#39;m flailing back and forth to say no, screaming and her, you know, then leaning, you know, so anyway. David: 2:08 If you&#39;d like to hear that sort of screaming, come to my house about three times a day because we have to give it to her three times a day for a week. And when I tell you, see, my son had had it many times, and he was just always like, okay, it&#39;s kind of annoying, but I&#39;ll do it. When I tell you that just what you said, my husband and I have to pin her down and peel her eyeballs open like we&#39;re like we&#39;re attacking her, it is awful. So the update is I&#39;m a delusional asshole, and my kid still cries all the time. Gavin: 2:38 None of that is a none of that is a surprise. Well, I think that that is um that is good parenting on your side that you acknowledge failures and you are keeping them conjunctivitis-free, or at least trying to get there. Yeah. Um, I had a pretty, I would consider major fathering failure this week, which was yesterday I had to go into New York City for a meeting. Um, and my partner uh was also in the city. So I had to do a whole massive like, uh, gotta figure out what to do with the kids after school, which is not that big a deal. They can stay home alone, that&#39;s fine. But one of them had a practice to go to, yada yada, yada. So um one, so my son was gonna go to a friend&#39;s house, and halfway through the day, or towards the end of school time, I was in a meeting and I look at my phone, and another mom says, Hey, the kids did so great in their presentation today. And I was like, What presentation? She they did something called Invention Convention. Really big. They&#39;ve been working on it for months. They had to put together a whole poster for it. And all of this took place at the other kids&#39; house, actually. So all the more reason that I was a little disjointed or um disconnected from it. They had this huge presentation that they had to put on for judges yesterday. This feels like a massive event that I gave in lodge, wouldn&#39;t would have moved you know, heaven and earth to attend, yet I had no idea that it was taking place. And luckily the mom said they did a great job. Hey, do you want me to hold on to your son for a little while? And I was like, he&#39;s not I have no idea where he is. Thank God this other mom, thank God this other mom happened to be there, which she then told me not a lot of parents were actually there. So it&#39;s not I apparently I wasn&#39;t the only delinquent parent. But furthermore, I just had no idea where he. I knew where he was, but I was like, I have completely lost control of my family situation today. Please don&#39;t call child protective services on me. But but then, you know, um, thank goodness other people picked up the slack for me. David: 4:41 I mean, the only kid you really pay a lot of attention to is your daughter Pinot Grigio. That&#39;s true. She she demands a lot. And so you didn&#39;t hear what I said. You just talked over me because it was a joke. I said, your daughter Pinot Grigio. And you talked right over me, and that&#39;s why this podcast is failing. Anyway, and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 5:03 Um But I do I do want to say I apologized it profusely to my son, and he was like, Whatever, Dad, not a lot of parents were there. I don&#39;t care. Like, uh, but but you had a presentation. Yeah, whatever. It wasn&#39;t that big a deal, Dad. Okay. So anyway, I had to take six seats and uh I don&#39;t know, dad fail contemplate my life. David: 5:23 Yeah, it was maybe, maybe, maybe instead of like dad hack of the week, we do dad fail of the week. Like, how did you fail as a parent today? Gavin: 5:30 Well, there you go. The starting a new series to be forgotten about by next week. David: 5:34 Um, can we talk about also that my daycare um had a late start because it snowed two flakes, of course. So they decided to open daycare late. So when you go to daycare every day at the same time, you see the same parents in and out of the building, right? They become like your crew or whatever. Totally. But when you go at a different time, even we&#39;re talking like 10 minutes different, it&#39;s a totally different crowd. You&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know any of these people. I didn&#39;t know any of these people to the city. Who are these people? Yeah, who are these people? So I went and it was like nine, uh 9 a.m., which is not when we go. And we&#39;re getting there, and I realized that my daughter&#39;s classroom hasn&#39;t opened yet. The teacher&#39;s still like down the hall. So me and then some of the other dads are there, and this one dad walks in. And he was like 6&#39;4. He looked like a Disney prince. He was wearing this like white sweater and these tight chinos. He was like clearly gonna go to work in Manhattan after this. When I tell you that I stuttered like a drunk teenager talking to him for those 30 seconds before the teacher came in, I was like, uh, hi. So your daughter is the I was like, David, you&#39;re 44. Get it together. You&#39;ve seen hot guys before. But like this hot dad, whose whose daughter I know because my daughter and his daughter like they say each other&#39;s names a lot. I didn&#39;t know who the dad was. Now I gotta start dressing up before I drop off my kid at daycare. Gavin: 6:53 You gotta up those standards. I can&#39;t believe you let so much go, David. Oh my god, I&#39;ve let everything go. David: 6:59 Um, speaking of letting go, why don&#39;t we do our top three lists, shall we? Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. This is your wait, this is your list, but also maybe a list we&#39;ve done already. You know what? Gavin: 7:10 It doesn&#39;t matter because um when when on the topic of lying, basically, I guess I have no, there&#39;s no end to it, right? So, yes, this week was the top three lies you tell your children. Number three for me, Reese&#39;s peanut butter cups are poison. David: 7:28 Now, obviously, we don&#39;t do that anymore. We have 100% done this list before because that was one of yours. No, we&#39;re gonna do it. Our listener, our listener is gonna have to hear this again. No, but Reese&#39;s peanut butter cups has poison. Yes. Your mom, I know. There&#39;s a whole thing. Gavin: 7:42 Yeah. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Um, number two, um, obviously, there there will be no driving because we&#39;re all gonna have um self-driving cars by the time my kids are 16. It is a lie that we keep fostering right now because basically I don&#39;t want my children to ever drive. So um they do it, though they don&#39;t believe me, it&#39;s a lie that I continue to foster. And number one, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. I mean, yeah, we do lie to our kids. David: 8:09 That&#39;s a big lie. I I uh I feel guilty every time I talk about it, but like, oh, yeah. Gavin: 8:15 But it&#39;s a wonderful lie, isn&#39;t it? It&#39;s a good lie. I know we what let that&#39;s a topic we should revisit sometime. How do you distinguish between white lies and big lies with your kids? Anyway, you&#39;re on. Let&#39;s cut that out and talk about it. Okay, go. What about you? What are how are you a big old liar? David: 8:31 Well, yeah, how how do I lie to my kid that we&#39;ve already done before? Um, so my my three are. Uh, and number three, we don&#39;t have tickets. I know we&#39;ve done that one before. We don&#39;t have tickets. We don&#39;t have tickets. Yeah. Um, and and we&#39;re talking about things that don&#39;t require tickets. Like, can we go to the park? We don&#39;t have tickets. Um, number two, it&#39;s broken. You know that toy you really like that&#39;s really loud that we threw away last week? Yeah, it&#39;s broken. It doesn&#39;t work anymore. Um, and number one reason I say they&#39;re closed. Yeah. We want to go to the ice cream store. Yeah, they&#39;re closed. Sorry, they&#39;re closed. And they fucking believe me every time. Stupid kids. Idiots. Oh my god. Right. Um, okay, well, what about next week? So next week, hopefully, this is a new one. I&#39;m not sure anymore. Um, I&#39;m too old, and this is this is episode 50, Gavin. Yeah, I mean 50. Happy 50th because we are half a century. Half a century. We are half a century. I can&#39;t believe that. Congratulations to us. Gavin: 9:30 Congratulations. Look at us. Yeah, thank you. We still look fair. We don&#39;t look a day over 49. No, not a day over 90. David: 9:36 So myself. So next week, our top three list will be Top Three Things That Your Kid Is Gonna Tell His Therapist About You. Gavin: 9:42 Hey, David, I know that you think I um think of things and never fall through, follow through with them, but not always. I want to revisit What would you do? David: 9:54 From Cabaret. Gavin: 9:55 From Cabaret. David: 9:56 In fact, hold on. I We had a listener reach out to me actually via DM. I don&#39;t know if you saw it. And she was like, in case you don&#39;t know, it&#39;s from Cabaret. I was like, Yep, Gavin, just figured that out. Gavin: 10:05 Uh just figured out. I saw your response too. Um, hold on just a minute. Ready? David: 10:09 Your advice. What would you do? unknown: 10:16 Nice. Gavin: 10:18 There you go. David: 10:18 What would you do? Gavin: 10:19 Yeah, this is very dramatic. Very dramatic. I mean, come on, it&#39;s like all Holocausty, so of course it&#39;s very dramatic. Uh, okay, so what would you do? So, your toddler is in public with you and makes an overt comment about a visibly disabled person. Like, why does that lady have one arm? Or why does that man&#39;s face look like that? What would you do? David: 10:47 It&#39;s that you don&#39;t know the intervals that makes me the happiest. You&#39;re welcome. I will say that this has happened to me a couple times, but notably one time there was a uh uh like a morbidly obese person on like a little scooter in a store we were in, and my son looked over to him and I saw him thinking, and I was like, please don&#39;t say anything, please don&#39;t say anything. And he was like, Daddy, why is he so fat? And I went, Oh my god, I want to die. So I died. Gavin: 11:12 That&#39;s a different scenario, frankly. Like I was thinking, I guess. There are there are uh productive ways of having the conversation. The scenario that I gave for what would you do? David: 11:22 Well, I think it&#39;s the same. So I&#39;ll tell you what I did and instead of what would I do. What I did was I tried to loudly so that person could hear me, say, hey, just so you know, we don&#39;t comment on other people&#39;s bodies, everybody&#39;s different, and um, we&#39;re all different. You know, I I did that thing, and I and I do mean that, but I I did it slightly performatively in volume so they could hear that. Because, you know, I feel like shit too that he just said that. Like, and also listen, the truth, we&#39;re all thinking things that we don&#39;t say that are maybe not kind. Like, yeah, why why is that person so whatever? But but to teach him that, like, hey, we don&#39;t comment on other people&#39;s bodies um is probably what I would do again. But yeah, as far as like a a person who&#39;s differently abled or something, yeah, it&#39;d probably be the same. It&#39;d be like, hey, everybody&#39;s different, you know. So like so, like my mom sometimes needs help getting up the stairs or something. So we he&#39;s asked about that. We&#39;re like, yeah, everybody&#39;s bodies are different. Grandma needs some help getting upstairs, and so that&#39;s what I would do. Gavin: 12:23 I definitely think it&#39;s it is very important though to um not hide from differences, especially people who might have disabilities. I think it&#39;s important to not pretend they don&#39;t exist because it&#39;s part of the person&#39;s um identity and and presentation. And and helping kids learn is important, and being able to say, well, in some cases, I think it&#39;s appropriate to say, let&#39;s ask the person. I mean, in very specific situations, you can say, excuse me. I mean, you know, why are you so fat? Jesus. Um what would you do? You&#39;re trying to expose your kid to new foods, trying to expand their palate, explore the foods, etc., but you&#39;re on day six of the kid refusing to eat dinner you&#39;ve made. What would you do? David: 13:09 I&#39;m I&#39;m hardcore about food. I&#39;m so glad to keep going. I keep going. Good because I know it&#39;s so annoying, but I am now reaping the benefits of what I&#39;ve been sewing for two, three, even four years with my kids. Yeah. Is that they know the rules, which is what is on your plate is dinner, and also you don&#39;t have to eat it. But you are not ordering on a menu. There&#39;s nothing more than this. Because often they&#39;ll go, ew, I don&#39;t like watermelon. I&#39;m like, great, don&#39;t eat it. And they are now getting to the point where they will verbalize what they don&#39;t like, which is basically everything. But they also know that like they can&#39;t just order mac and cheese. So it sucked for years. But like food is one of those things that like I feel like was one of the things I wanted to kind of like make better from when I was a kid. Like when I was a kid, kind of like you could have anything you wanted if you cried loud enough. I wanted to make, yeah, and I wanted to make sure that like that they saw food as not this like reward system and whatever that this is this is fuel for our bodies and it can taste good and there could be treats, but like this is the food. So it sucks out there, everyone dealing with that, with the kids throwing the broccoli on the ground for the 30th day in a row, but keep going. Gavin: 14:19 Yeah, well, that&#39;s and that&#39;s the lesson for...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David updates us on his magical &#34;no crying&#34; Dad hack, Gavin lets us in on his most recent fatherhood fail, we do another round of &#34;What would you do?,&#34; and this week we are lucky to be joined by Broadway sensation and recent Ut]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David updates us on his magical &#34;no crying&#34; Dad hack, Gavin lets us in on his most recent fatherhood fail, we do another round of &#34;What would you do?,&#34; and this week we are lucky to be joined by Broadway sensation and recent Utah transplant Eric Sciotto, as he takes us through what it&apos;s like to be a life-long New Yorker and move across the country with two teenage kids.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Well speaking of interesting uh downward smile well speaking of terrible things and uh kind of like transition. Gavin: 0:08 That was a terrible transition, and this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:24 So remember last week when I was telling you about my really cool dad hack about just telling your two-year-old not to cry, and they magically don&#39;t cry. Oh boy, that took a long time. So I have an update. I&#39;m a delusional asshole. And my daughter who cries nonstop about everything is continuing to do so. Um, yeah, that that whole like don&#39;t cry thing worked for literally two nights in a row, and then we recorded our episode. And ever since she cries dinner, after dinner, before bed, during bed, as she goes to sleep. She cries all the time. But you know what else is going on. Gavin: 1:04 To your credit, I&#39;m gonna try to give you the credit. You knew that this has played out exactly the way you expected. David: 1:09 Well, really, real what I really wanted to happen was for her just to never cry again and me to be like, nanny nanny boo-boo, I&#39;m a better dad than you. Um, but it didn&#39;t happen. But part of it is because my daughter got, of course, like they all do at daycare, she got conjunctivitis slash an eye infection. So the cure for that is eye drops. Um have you ever tried to put eye drops in a feral monkey? Gavin: 1:33 Um, I don&#39;t think I ever have. But also, my kids both have glasses, which has nothing to do with like eye drops, except there&#39;s they have more stuff around their eyes. God, I cannot remember ever actually putting eye drops in them. Although we&#39;ve done it, but I will tell you, I remember having pink eye when I was in kindergarten or something like that, and my mother straddling my chest with her knees on each of my arms as I&#39;m flailing back and forth to say no, screaming and her, you know, then leaning, you know, so anyway. David: 2:08 If you&#39;d like to hear that sort of screaming, come to my house about three times a day because we have to give it to her three times a day for a week. And when I tell you, see, my son had had it many times, and he was just always like, okay, it&#39;s kind of annoying, but I&#39;ll do it. When I tell you that just what you said, my husband and I have to pin her down and peel her eyeballs open like we&#39;re like we&#39;re attacking her, it is awful. So the update is I&#39;m a delusional asshole, and my kid still cries all the time. Gavin: 2:38 None of that is a none of that is a surprise. Well, I think that that is um that is good parenting on your side that you acknowledge failures and you are keeping them conjunctivitis-free, or at least trying to get there. Yeah. Um, I had a pretty, I would consider major fathering failure this week, which was yesterday I had to go into New York City for a meeting. Um, and my partner uh was also in the city. So I had to do a whole massive like, uh, gotta figure out what to do with the kids after school, which is not that big a deal. They can stay home alone, that&#39;s fine. But one of them had a practice to go to, yada yada, yada. So um one, so my son was gonna go to a friend&#39;s house, and halfway through the day, or towards the end of school time, I was in a meeting and I look at my phone, and another mom says, Hey, the kids did so great in their presentation today. And I was like, What presentation? She they did something called Invention Convention. Really big. They&#39;ve been working on it for months. They had to put together a whole poster for it. And all of this took place at the other kids&#39; house, actually. So all the more reason that I was a little disjointed or um disconnected from it. They had this huge presentation that they had to put on for judges yesterday. This feels like a massive event that I gave in lodge, wouldn&#39;t would have moved you know, heaven and earth to attend, yet I had no idea that it was taking place. And luckily the mom said they did a great job. Hey, do you want me to hold on to your son for a little while? And I was like, he&#39;s not I have no idea where he is. Thank God this other mom, thank God this other mom happened to be there, which she then told me not a lot of parents were actually there. So it&#39;s not I apparently I wasn&#39;t the only delinquent parent. But furthermore, I just had no idea where he. I knew where he was, but I was like, I have completely lost control of my family situation today. Please don&#39;t call child protective services on me. But but then, you know, um, thank goodness other people picked up the slack for me. David: 4:41 I mean, the only kid you really pay a lot of attention to is your daughter Pinot Grigio. That&#39;s true. She she demands a lot. And so you didn&#39;t hear what I said. You just talked over me because it was a joke. I said, your daughter Pinot Grigio. And you talked right over me, and that&#39;s why this podcast is failing. Anyway, and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 5:03 Um But I do I do want to say I apologized it profusely to my son, and he was like, Whatever, Dad, not a lot of parents were there. I don&#39;t care. Like, uh, but but you had a presentation. Yeah, whatever. It wasn&#39;t that big a deal, Dad. Okay. So anyway, I had to take six seats and uh I don&#39;t know, dad fail contemplate my life. David: 5:23 Yeah, it was maybe, maybe, maybe instead of like dad hack of the week, we do dad fail of the week. Like, how did you fail as a parent today? Gavin: 5:30 Well, there you go. The starting a new series to be forgotten about by next week. David: 5:34 Um, can we talk about also that my daycare um had a late start because it snowed two flakes, of course. So they decided to open daycare late. So when you go to daycare every day at the same time, you see the same parents in and out of the building, right? They become like your crew or whatever. Totally. But when you go at a different time, even we&#39;re talking like 10 minutes different, it&#39;s a totally different crowd. You&#39;re like, I don&#39;t know any of these people. I didn&#39;t know any of these people to the city. Who are these people? Yeah, who are these people? So I went and it was like nine, uh 9 a.m., which is not when we go. And we&#39;re getting there, and I realized that my daughter&#39;s classroom hasn&#39;t opened yet. The teacher&#39;s still like down the hall. So me and then some of the other dads are there, and this one dad walks in. And he was like 6&#39;4. He looked like a Disney prince. He was wearing this like white sweater and these tight chinos. He was like clearly gonna go to work in Manhattan after this. When I tell you that I stuttered like a drunk teenager talking to him for those 30 seconds before the teacher came in, I was like, uh, hi. So your daughter is the I was like, David, you&#39;re 44. Get it together. You&#39;ve seen hot guys before. But like this hot dad, whose whose daughter I know because my daughter and his daughter like they say each other&#39;s names a lot. I didn&#39;t know who the dad was. Now I gotta start dressing up before I drop off my kid at daycare. Gavin: 6:53 You gotta up those standards. I can&#39;t believe you let so much go, David. Oh my god, I&#39;ve let everything go. David: 6:59 Um, speaking of letting go, why don&#39;t we do our top three lists, shall we? Gate three arcs. Top three list, three, two, one. This is your wait, this is your list, but also maybe a list we&#39;ve done already. You know what? Gavin: 7:10 It doesn&#39;t matter because um when when on the topic of lying, basically, I guess I have no, there&#39;s no end to it, right? So, yes, this week was the top three lies you tell your children. Number three for me, Reese&#39;s peanut butter cups are poison. David: 7:28 Now, obviously, we don&#39;t do that anymore. We have 100% done this list before because that was one of yours. No, we&#39;re gonna do it. Our listener, our listener is gonna have to hear this again. No, but Reese&#39;s peanut butter cups has poison. Yes. Your mom, I know. There&#39;s a whole thing. Gavin: 7:42 Yeah. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Um, number two, um, obviously, there there will be no driving because we&#39;re all gonna have um self-driving cars by the time my kids are 16. It is a lie that we keep fostering right now because basically I don&#39;t want my children to ever drive. So um they do it, though they don&#39;t believe me, it&#39;s a lie that I continue to foster. And number one, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. I mean, yeah, we do lie to our kids. David: 8:09 That&#39;s a big lie. I I uh I feel guilty every time I talk about it, but like, oh, yeah. Gavin: 8:15 But it&#39;s a wonderful lie, isn&#39;t it? It&#39;s a good lie. I know we what let that&#39;s a topic we should revisit sometime. How do you distinguish between white lies and big lies with your kids? Anyway, you&#39;re on. Let&#39;s cut that out and talk about it. Okay, go. What about you? What are how are you a big old liar? David: 8:31 Well, yeah, how how do I lie to my kid that we&#39;ve already done before? Um, so my my three are. Uh, and number three, we don&#39;t have tickets. I know we&#39;ve done that one before. We don&#39;t have tickets. We don&#39;t have tickets. Yeah. Um, and and we&#39;re talking about things that don&#39;t require tickets. Like, can we go to the park? We don&#39;t have tickets. Um, number two, it&#39;s broken. You know that toy you really like that&#39;s really loud that we threw away last week? Yeah, it&#39;s broken. It doesn&#39;t work anymore. Um, and number one reason I say they&#39;re closed. Yeah. We want to go to the ice cream store. Yeah, they&#39;re closed. Sorry, they&#39;re closed. And they fucking believe me every time. Stupid kids. Idiots. Oh my god. Right. Um, okay, well, what about next week? So next week, hopefully, this is a new one. I&#39;m not sure anymore. Um, I&#39;m too old, and this is this is episode 50, Gavin. Yeah, I mean 50. Happy 50th because we are half a century. Half a century. We are half a century. I can&#39;t believe that. Congratulations to us. Gavin: 9:30 Congratulations. Look at us. Yeah, thank you. We still look fair. We don&#39;t look a day over 49. No, not a day over 90. David: 9:36 So myself. So next week, our top three list will be Top Three Things That Your Kid Is Gonna Tell His Therapist About You. Gavin: 9:42 Hey, David, I know that you think I um think of things and never fall through, follow through with them, but not always. I want to revisit What would you do? David: 9:54 From Cabaret. Gavin: 9:55 From Cabaret. David: 9:56 In fact, hold on. I We had a listener reach out to me actually via DM. I don&#39;t know if you saw it. And she was like, in case you don&#39;t know, it&#39;s from Cabaret. I was like, Yep, Gavin, just figured that out. Gavin: 10:05 Uh just figured out. I saw your response too. Um, hold on just a minute. Ready? David: 10:09 Your advice. What would you do? unknown: 10:16 Nice. Gavin: 10:18 There you go. David: 10:18 What would you do? Gavin: 10:19 Yeah, this is very dramatic. Very dramatic. I mean, come on, it&#39;s like all Holocausty, so of course it&#39;s very dramatic. Uh, okay, so what would you do? So, your toddler is in public with you and makes an overt comment about a visibly disabled person. Like, why does that lady have one arm? Or why does that man&#39;s face look like that? What would you do? David: 10:47 It&#39;s that you don&#39;t know the intervals that makes me the happiest. You&#39;re welcome. I will say that this has happened to me a couple times, but notably one time there was a uh uh like a morbidly obese person on like a little scooter in a store we were in, and my son looked over to him and I saw him thinking, and I was like, please don&#39;t say anything, please don&#39;t say anything. And he was like, Daddy, why is he so fat? And I went, Oh my god, I want to die. So I died. Gavin: 11:12 That&#39;s a different scenario, frankly. Like I was thinking, I guess. There are there are uh productive ways of having the conversation. The scenario that I gave for what would you do? David: 11:22 Well, I think it&#39;s the same. So I&#39;ll tell you what I did and instead of what would I do. What I did was I tried to loudly so that person could hear me, say, hey, just so you know, we don&#39;t comment on other people&#39;s bodies, everybody&#39;s different, and um, we&#39;re all different. You know, I I did that thing, and I and I do mean that, but I I did it slightly performatively in volume so they could hear that. Because, you know, I feel like shit too that he just said that. Like, and also listen, the truth, we&#39;re all thinking things that we don&#39;t say that are maybe not kind. Like, yeah, why why is that person so whatever? But but to teach him that, like, hey, we don&#39;t comment on other people&#39;s bodies um is probably what I would do again. But yeah, as far as like a a person who&#39;s differently abled or something, yeah, it&#39;d probably be the same. It&#39;d be like, hey, everybody&#39;s different, you know. So like so, like my mom sometimes needs help getting up the stairs or something. So we he&#39;s asked about that. We&#39;re like, yeah, everybody&#39;s bodies are different. Grandma needs some help getting upstairs, and so that&#39;s what I would do. Gavin: 12:23 I definitely think it&#39;s it is very important though to um not hide from differences, especially people who might have disabilities. I think it&#39;s important to not pretend they don&#39;t exist because it&#39;s part of the person&#39;s um identity and and presentation. And and helping kids learn is important, and being able to say, well, in some cases, I think it&#39;s appropriate to say, let&#39;s ask the person. I mean, in very specific situations, you can say, excuse me. I mean, you know, why are you so fat? Jesus. Um what would you do? You&#39;re trying to expose your kid to new foods, trying to expand their palate, explore the foods, etc., but you&#39;re on day six of the kid refusing to eat dinner you&#39;ve made. What would you do? David: 13:09 I&#39;m I&#39;m hardcore about food. I&#39;m so glad to keep going. I keep going. Good because I know it&#39;s so annoying, but I am now reaping the benefits of what I&#39;ve been sewing for two, three, even four years with my kids. Yeah. Is that they know the rules, which is what is on your plate is dinner, and also you don&#39;t have to eat it. But you are not ordering on a menu. There&#39;s nothing more than this. Because often they&#39;ll go, ew, I don&#39;t like watermelon. I&#39;m like, great, don&#39;t eat it. And they are now getting to the point where they will verbalize what they don&#39;t like, which is basically everything. But they also know that like they can&#39;t just order mac and cheese. So it sucked for years. But like food is one of those things that like I feel like was one of the things I wanted to kind of like make better from when I was a kid. Like when I was a kid, kind of like you could have anything you wanted if you cried loud enough. I wanted to make, yeah, and I wanted to make sure that like that they saw food as not this like reward system and whatever that this is this is fuel for our bodies and it can taste good and there could be treats, but like this is the food. So it sucks out there, everyone dealing with that, with the kids throwing the broccoli on the ground for the 30th day in a row, but keep going. Gavin: 14:19 Yeah, well, that&#39;s and that&#39;s the lesson for...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David updates us on his magical &#34;no crying&#34; Dad hack, Gavin lets us in on his most recent fatherhood fail, we do another round of &#34;What would you do?,&#34; and this week we are lucky to be joined by Broadway sensation and recent Utah transplant Eric Sciotto, as he takes us through what it&apos;s like to be a life-long New Yorker and move across the country with two teenage kids.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Well speaking of interesting uh downward smile well speaking of terrible things and uh kind of like transition. Gavin: 0:08 That was a terrible transition, and this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:24 So remember last week when I was telling you about my really cool dad hack about just telling your two-year-old not to cry, and they magically don&#39;t cry. Oh boy, that took a long time. So I have an update. I&#39;m a delusional asshole. And my daughter who cries nonstop about everything is continuing to do so. Um, yeah, that that whole like don&#39;t cry thing worked for literally two nights in a row, and then we recorded our episode. And ever since she cries dinner, after dinner, before bed, during bed, as she goes to sleep. She cries all the time. But you know what else is going on. Gavin: 1:04 To your credit, I&#39;m gonna try to give you the credit. You knew that this has played out exactly the way you expected. David: 1:09 Well, really, real what I really wanted to happen was for her just to never cry again and me to be like, nanny nanny boo-boo, I&#39;m a better dad than you. Um, but it didn&#39;t happen. But part of it is because my daughter got, of course, like they all do at daycare, she got conjunctivitis slash an eye infection. So the cure for that is eye drops. Um have you ever tried to put eye drops in a feral monkey? Gavin: 1:33 Um, I don&#39;t think I ever have. But also, my kids both have glasses, which has nothing to do with like eye drops, except there&#39;s they have more stuff around their eyes. God, I cannot remember ever actually putting eye drops in them. Although we&#39;ve done it, but I will tell you, I remember having pink eye when I was in kindergarten or something like that, and my mother straddling my chest with her knees on each of my arms as I&#39;m flailing back and forth to say no, screaming and her, you know, then leaning, you know, so anyway. David: 2:08 If you&#39;d like to hear that sort of screaming, come to my house about three times a day because we have to give it to her three times a day for a week. And when I tell you, see, my son had had it many times, and he was just always like, okay, it&#39;s kind of annoying, but I&#39;ll do it. When I tell you that just what you said, my husband and I have to pin her down and peel her eyeballs open like we&#39;re like we&#39;re attacking her, it is awful. So the update is I&#39;m a delusional asshole, and my kid still cries all the time. Gavin: 2:38 None of that is a none of that is a surprise. Well, I think that that is um that is good parenting on your side that you acknowledge failures and you are keeping them conjunctivitis-free, or at least trying to get there. Yeah. Um, I had a pretty, I would consider major fathering failure this week, which was yesterday I had to go into New York City for a meeting. Um, and my partner uh was also in the city. So I had to do a whole massive like, uh, gotta figure out what to do with the kids after school, which is not that big a deal. They can stay home alone, that&#39;s fine. But one of them had a practice to go to, yada yada, yada. So um one, so my son was gonna go to a friend&#39;s house, and halfway through the day, or towards the end of school time, I was in a meeting and I look at my phone, and another mom says, Hey, the kids did so great in their presentation today. And I was like, What presentation? She they did something called Invention Conventio]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David updates us on his magical &#34;no crying&#34; Dad hack, Gavin lets us in on his most recent fatherhood fail, we do another round of &#34;What would you do?,&#34; and this week we are lucky to be joined by Broadway sensation and recent Utah transplant Eric Sciotto, as he takes us through what it&apos;s like to be a life-long New Yorker and move across the country with two teenage kids.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Well speaking of interesting uh downward smile well speaking of terrible things and uh kind of like transition. Gavin: 0:08 That was a terrible transition, and this is Gatriarch&#39;s. David: 0:24 So remember last week when I was telling you about my really cool dad hack about just telling your two-year-old not to cry, and they magically don&#39;t cry. Oh boy, that took a long time. So I have an update. I&#39;m a delusional asshole.]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with attorney and author Roberto Concepción, Jr.</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-attorney-and-author-roberto-concepcion-jr/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 24 Jan 2024 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week we again talk about our favorite drag queen, the Pope, we list the top 3 reasons we are lesbians, David tells his daughter to stop crying, and we are joined this week by our very own Elle Woods, Roberto Concepción, Jr, who talks to us about being a single gay Dad, which Disney princesses were his favorite, and what inspired him to write the children&apos;s book &#34;More Than A Crown.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the internet. David is at David V F on the internet. Gavin: 0:09 You can do that again. God. It&#39;s your own. David: 0:12 That extra initial dude, I mean I mean it was a terrible decision I made at 20 years old and it&#39;s haunted me. So it&#39;s and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:35 So remember last time? Yeah, it was last time that we talked about uh the Vatican suddenly being really cool with um gay marriage. And you were like, Well, of course they&#39;re cool with gay marriage because they&#39;re a bunch of drag queens wearing their heels and their jewels and their dresses. Well, and you know what? You shat on my excitement there so quickly. And why am I here with my tail between my legs? Do you want to tell us? David: 1:01 Um, yeah, I think the Vatican uh officially uh condemned surrogacy, calling it like disgusting or abominable, or you know, they use some sort of you know word or whatever. Heretical hellfire word, but yeah, whatever. Listen, this is coming from just like a uh atheist bordering on anti-theist, but like I just like I&#39;m not surprised. It doesn&#39;t, it doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t even I&#39;m not shocked. I don&#39;t uh it I I just feel numb to it all, but it is hilarious that they su they they think that they&#39;re being clever and cool about like gay marriage is cool and then they&#39;re like JK, we fucking hate surrogacy, it&#39;s disgusting. Yeah, um they just keep moving the goalpost and deciding what rules every day, it&#39;s whatever. Gavin: 1:38 Hey, I&#39;m an optimist, they&#39;re gonna come to their senses anyway, and it does kind of surprise me. I am not Catholic, but I do feel the sense of like procreation and having children, bringing them into the world, especially if you&#39;re the Vatican, don&#39;t you want more Catholic kids in this in the world? Whether or not no matter how they&#39;re you know made. Well, I don&#39;t know. You know what though? There is good stuff out there to be to celebrate. Like, did you know that there&#39;s going to be a Broadway musical based on Purple Rain? David: 2:07 I did not know that. Yeah, I mean, come on. I&#39;m surprised I didn&#39;t know that, but yeah. No, no, celebrate. Okay. I mean, but listen, this is the problem with like jukebox musicals, anything based off existing IP, especially if it&#39;s music IP, is such a dangerous, dangerous task on Broadway. Because now, listen, a lot of shows, listen, Jersey Boys is uh uh MJ right now on Broadway. There&#39;s some really great examples of that. Yes, Mamma Mia did well at the box office. I don&#39;t know if I&#39;d call her artistic achievement, but listen, but it sure is fine. There are successful ones, and then there, I won&#39;t even name the other ones, but there are much less successful ones. Gavin: 2:40 There&#39;s a lot of bullshit. There&#39;s absolutely a lot of bullshit. And and like these days, half the season is frankly jukebox musicals based on previous IP, and it&#39;s we know that it&#39;s mostly honestly, it&#39;s mostly terrible. I do love the frankly, Mama Mia. You do just I like just taking the ride with it, and it does though remind me of a friend of mine who saw it way back in the day, first national tour, and I said, and he&#39;s not a musical guy. Well, he he appreciates them, but he&#39;s not an actor or anything. I said, What did you think of it? He said, It was a little like being at a party and being the only sober person. David: 3:12 Wow, that is a scathing review, but very accurate. Very accurate. You know what Mamma Mia was missing? Tell a scene where the three dads make out. Gavin: 3:23 I mean, isn&#39;t that what every Broadway musical is missing? David: 3:26 Like, like, you know they&#39;re doing it backstage, so why don&#39;t you just show me you doing it? Gavin: 3:31 Another delightful news, uh, you know, the Emmys were fairly recent. And you know what? Probably everybody knows this, but I just loved being able to reminisce that um, you know, Jennifer Coolidge got an award for being in White Lotus, and she&#39;s gay icon. She&#39;s a gay icon. She&#39;s a gay icon, and she called it out too. And she said, Thank you to the evil gays who made this gift possible for me, which is hilarious. And then another gay icon. David: 3:50 That&#39;s redundant, evil gays. We know gays are evil. We embrace it. Gavin: 3:54 We embrace it. I mean, listen, if the Pope calls us evil gays, we&#39;re not cool with it. But if Madam Coolidge does it, have at it. David: 4:02 I don&#39;t know. I feel like I take RuPaul&#39;s stance, which is like, if if they&#39;re talking about you or if they hate being hateful to you, like you&#39;re winning. They&#39;re talking about you. Yeah, right. Like, like if the if the if the if the Pope hates me and is actively like, I&#39;m like, oh, I&#39;m doing something right. Gavin: 4:14 Rue is so, so very right about that. And I&#39;d like that you made that transition because of course um RuPaul made a great statement also at the Emmys when um he got up there and said addressed directly um drag queen story hour and just declared the library is open. Yes. David: 4:33 Hey, and we have a we have a guest today that&#39;s uh an author. So listen, it&#39;s an all-author, all library is open episode. Gavin: 4:40 We are all about making those doors open and flinging them open for all families and kids and types and everybody. And um then, of course, I mean, since you opened the door for me to talk about my gaze in the news, which I absolutely love. Of course, there&#39;s I love that the Supreme Court definitely punted, but at least they punted, uh, talking about trans bathrooms in Indiana, which was good. They essentially said we&#39;re not going to rule against the circuit court in the Midwest. So that&#39;s good that a that one little high school in Indiana gets to um continue upholding the right for a trans uh student to use the bathroom of their choice, which is great. And then, but then also in other trans news, did you know that a trans person, I believe it was trans man, was running for the state house in Ohio, and they wouldn&#39;t allow, they disallowed his candidacy because he refused to use his dead name on his official application form. And they just found a dumbass loophole to say, nope, you have to have your birth by name. And the person, actually, sorry, I don&#39;t remember the gender of the person, if it was a trans man or a trans woman, but the person said, no, this is my dead name. This is my this is my name. I have changed it. David: 5:46 And they&#39;re just Nikki Haley doesn&#39;t use her real name. She uses her fucking white girl name. So what the fuck is the problem? Um but wait, going back to bathrooms, I think this is gonna be take take the trans issues out of it, which are very important. I think bathroom culture is changing because I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve noticed, Gavin, a lot of the um studios in Manhattan, a lot of the bathrooms are becoming kind of like all gender bathrooms where the every stall is individual, and then like the sink washing area is kind of open air-ish. So it doesn&#39;t feel like a bathroom now, which is like very like isolated and like confined. It&#39;s like this open air thing, but the stalls are isolated, but it&#39;s all gender. And it&#39;s it actually like the one I&#39;m thinking about is at Telsi. And I always love it, just feels like oh, I was like, oh, this is where bathrooms are going. This feels there&#39;s nothing gross about it. It feels kind of open, it doesn&#39;t feel threatening. So I I I hope that that&#39;s where this eventually goes, at least for trans people, so they don&#39;t have to fucking fight to like use the litter box that they want to use in the bathroom that they want to use. Gavin: 6:45 Um also I think bathrooms like that engender better behavior on all fronts. I mean, let&#39;s face it, men, we are disgusting. David: 6:52 We&#39;re having done some horrific things in some bathrooms that are. Gavin: 6:55 Well, I was gonna say you still have plenty of privacy in those little tiny cabins, if whatever you want to call them. David: 7:00 But cabin number two, okay. Gavin: 7:04 But when you are out washing your hands, then you&#39;d like it makes us all act a little more humane. Now, you know, in some cases there need to be safe women&#39;s spaces, safe men&#39;s spaces where you where you do just like get to be a guy, I suppose, or get to be a woman. But it&#39;s it&#39;s just such it&#39;s much more civilized. You know, I was an exchange student in Paris. Part of the reason that last week I referenced um calling the seltzer Le Croix instead of LaCroix. You&#39;re welcome. David: 7:29 I still I&#39;ve I&#39;ve stayed at night. Gavin: 7:31 You&#39;re still thinking about that. But um, I went to a college there for a semester in Paris, and they had those bathrooms actually then in uh 1957 when I was there. There you go. And they had the like they called them the cat the the cabins, and then you all washed your hands uh collectively. And I was so shocked by it, but also refreshed, like, oh well, what&#39;s the big deal? We&#39;re just washing our hands and kind of looking at ourselves in the mirror, and it&#39;s all right. David: 7:58 Well, that&#39;s gave it you just staring at yourself, just really loving the stuff. You know, I did self-that&#39;s what I&#39;m doing right now in the Riverside studio. All right, let&#39;s try to be more helpful. This is not being helpful to anybody. Not evidence of my personal dad hack of the week, which I discovered this week, and I it is actually my husband who discovered it, and I cannot believe it&#39;s working. Right. I cannot believe it. It enrages me. So I have a two-year-old girl, and she&#39;s a fucking nightmare, and she cries all the time. And so she cries at night, she cries while she&#39;s sleeping, she cries in the car, she&#39;s just always upset. And so recently, since we got back from vacation, she&#39;s been crying up the stairs to bed during the change, during reading book, going down like it&#39;s just cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. And so the other day, my husband he&#39;s holding her kind of like before he&#39;s about to lay her down. He&#39;s just like holding her, and he whispers in her ear, no crying when I lay you down. And then he laid her down. And that bitch was silent. And I was like, No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way. So I do it the next night. We&#39;re up there and she&#39;s crying, she&#39;s being just annoying and whatever. And I I know I&#39;m talking shit about my daughter, she&#39;s actually pretty cool, but she cries all the time. Of course, she&#39;s beautiful. So I pick her up and I&#39;m about to turn off the light, and I say, Now I want to turn off this light. SPEAKER_02: 9:05 There&#39;s no more crying. I turned off the light, gave in. She didn&#39;t cry. David: 9:11 We have discovered a secret. SPEAKER_02: 9:12 That&#39;s amazing. David: 9:13 And it is telling your daughter, do not cry. And then she just does it. Now I know everyone out there like you are laughing at me, like, bitch, this is a love. Yeah, this is pretty loud. This will this will change. But but my dad hack of the week, tell your kid not to cry before then before before you know they&#39;re about to. That&#39;s what it is. It&#39;s not that she was crying and I said, Stop crying or no crying. It was like I knew crying was coming. So I said, now no crying when I lay you down. So anyway, that&#39;s my dad hack of the week. Gavin: 9:39 Uh I cannot wait to hear how it backfires by next week. David: 9:44 So let&#39;s get into our top three list, shall we? Gate three arcs. Gavin: 9:47 Top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:50 Ah, the dulcetones. Tell us, David. Gavin: 9:52 I was gonna say exactly the same thing. We&#39;re so predictable. So predictable. We have one podcasting mind between us. So what tell us this was your topic. What was it? David: 10:02 This week&#39;s list is top three ways you are a lesbian. Okay, so my top three ways that I&#39;m a lesbian. Uh and number three, I am a problem solver. I feel like lesbians, like if you&#39;re like, oh my god, um, I can&#39;t get my cat in the cage, my whatever broke, my whatever. Lesbians go right into active mode. They&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna solve this problem. I have a list of steps and we&#39;re gonna fix this together. And I fucking love that. And I think I&#39;m that way. Gavin: 10:31 I think that&#39;s very accurate. David: 10:32 Yeah. Um uh number two, uh, way I&#39;m a lesbian, I like beer in a can. I know it&#39;s supposed to be better in a bottle. I know it&#39;s better maybe from a draft, but man, just like a Miller light in a can, I think that&#39;s solid. So that&#39;s the way I&#39;m a lesbian. Um, and number three, or no, sorry, excuse me, number one, I will say, is that I am fiercely loyal. And I feel like most lesbians, fiercely loyal. Just loyal to a fault. That you&#39;re a lot of passion. They are your right, yeah. They&#39;re your rider dies, and I am your rider die. If you&#39;re in my inner circle. Um, so that&#39;s the top three ways I&#39;m a lesbian. What about it? Gavin: 11:07 Those all have much more substance, uh, but I uh applaud them all. Um number three for me, I hate fruity drinks. I don&#39;t like fruity cocktails. I do not drink fruity beer. I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s a lesbian or lesbianic thing at all. I would imagine there&#39;s lots of pumpkin beer lovers out there, but I just want it basic. So actually, maybe not out of a can, but don&#39;t put fruit with my booze, okay? Okay. Number two, camping. I actually do camp. I&#39;m a scout leader. Yeah, that&#39;s a good one. I am a camp. Scout leader. So yes, camping. And number one, I love women. I love women. David: 11:43 I love women. Do I need to define lesbian to you and what that means? Oh, come on. Gavin: 11:48 It doesn&#39;t have to be a sexual thing in the slightest bit. We know that. David: 11:53 I love women. Oh, yeah. Fucking women are amazing. That&#39;s a great one. I like your list. That was a really that&#39;s really good. Those those three are really good and solid. And you know what? We fucking love our lesbian coaches. Gavin: 12:03 Hell yeah. David: 12:04 We love lesbians. Uh, every single lesbian. Come come join us. Gavin: 12:08 So uh coming up next week, I want to hear from you the top three lies you tell your kid. David: 12:17 Our next guest is an employment attorney and diversity, equity, and inclusion advocate, a single father to his daughter Amina. He&#39;s also the author of the recently published children&#39;s book More Than a Crown, which he wrote to encourage her and other children around the world to follow their dreams and reach for the stars. How cute is that. I know, right? Yes. Uh, please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Roberto Concepcion Jr. unknown: 12:40 Welcome. David: 12:40 Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Um, you guys can&#39;t see him right now, but he is wearing the brightest blue children&#39;s headphones we&#39;ve ever seen. Gavin: 12:50 If you I if you watch our um our YouTube video version of the podcast, which doesn&#39;t exist yet, we&#39;ll put that on our uh to-do list for 2024. You would know that this is a perfect example of you know you&#39;re a father when. David: 13:02 Uh-huh. Absolutely. I mean, you kind of look like what I imagine a bag of delicious snacks in Asia would have on the front of it. You know what I mean? Just like bright blue. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 13:13 The idea of me being referred to as a delicious snack, like that sounds great. David: 13:16 Anyway. Well, you are a delicious snack. You are. Let&#39;s get into it. Yeah. Um, but you&#39;re a dad, and that&#39;s why you&#39;re here. And um, we&#39;re excited to have you. So you&#39;re a single dad, and you...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we again talk about our favorite drag queen, the Pope, we list the top 3 reasons we are lesbians, David tells his daughter to stop crying, and we are joined this week by our very own Elle Woods, Roberto Concepción, Jr, who talks to us about bei]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we again talk about our favorite drag queen, the Pope, we list the top 3 reasons we are lesbians, David tells his daughter to stop crying, and we are joined this week by our very own Elle Woods, Roberto Concepción, Jr, who talks to us about being a single gay Dad, which Disney princesses were his favorite, and what inspired him to write the children&apos;s book &#34;More Than A Crown.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the internet. David is at David V F on the internet. Gavin: 0:09 You can do that again. God. It&#39;s your own. David: 0:12 That extra initial dude, I mean I mean it was a terrible decision I made at 20 years old and it&#39;s haunted me. So it&#39;s and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:35 So remember last time? Yeah, it was last time that we talked about uh the Vatican suddenly being really cool with um gay marriage. And you were like, Well, of course they&#39;re cool with gay marriage because they&#39;re a bunch of drag queens wearing their heels and their jewels and their dresses. Well, and you know what? You shat on my excitement there so quickly. And why am I here with my tail between my legs? Do you want to tell us? David: 1:01 Um, yeah, I think the Vatican uh officially uh condemned surrogacy, calling it like disgusting or abominable, or you know, they use some sort of you know word or whatever. Heretical hellfire word, but yeah, whatever. Listen, this is coming from just like a uh atheist bordering on anti-theist, but like I just like I&#39;m not surprised. It doesn&#39;t, it doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t even I&#39;m not shocked. I don&#39;t uh it I I just feel numb to it all, but it is hilarious that they su they they think that they&#39;re being clever and cool about like gay marriage is cool and then they&#39;re like JK, we fucking hate surrogacy, it&#39;s disgusting. Yeah, um they just keep moving the goalpost and deciding what rules every day, it&#39;s whatever. Gavin: 1:38 Hey, I&#39;m an optimist, they&#39;re gonna come to their senses anyway, and it does kind of surprise me. I am not Catholic, but I do feel the sense of like procreation and having children, bringing them into the world, especially if you&#39;re the Vatican, don&#39;t you want more Catholic kids in this in the world? Whether or not no matter how they&#39;re you know made. Well, I don&#39;t know. You know what though? There is good stuff out there to be to celebrate. Like, did you know that there&#39;s going to be a Broadway musical based on Purple Rain? David: 2:07 I did not know that. Yeah, I mean, come on. I&#39;m surprised I didn&#39;t know that, but yeah. No, no, celebrate. Okay. I mean, but listen, this is the problem with like jukebox musicals, anything based off existing IP, especially if it&#39;s music IP, is such a dangerous, dangerous task on Broadway. Because now, listen, a lot of shows, listen, Jersey Boys is uh uh MJ right now on Broadway. There&#39;s some really great examples of that. Yes, Mamma Mia did well at the box office. I don&#39;t know if I&#39;d call her artistic achievement, but listen, but it sure is fine. There are successful ones, and then there, I won&#39;t even name the other ones, but there are much less successful ones. Gavin: 2:40 There&#39;s a lot of bullshit. There&#39;s absolutely a lot of bullshit. And and like these days, half the season is frankly jukebox musicals based on previous IP, and it&#39;s we know that it&#39;s mostly honestly, it&#39;s mostly terrible. I do love the frankly, Mama Mia. You do just I like just taking the ride with it, and it does though remind me of a friend of mine who saw it way back in the day, first national tour, and I said, and he&#39;s not a musical guy. Well, he he appreciates them, but he&#39;s not an actor or anything. I said, What did you think of it? He said, It was a little like being at a party and being the only sober person. David: 3:12 Wow, that is a scathing review, but very accurate. Very accurate. You know what Mamma Mia was missing? Tell a scene where the three dads make out. Gavin: 3:23 I mean, isn&#39;t that what every Broadway musical is missing? David: 3:26 Like, like, you know they&#39;re doing it backstage, so why don&#39;t you just show me you doing it? Gavin: 3:31 Another delightful news, uh, you know, the Emmys were fairly recent. And you know what? Probably everybody knows this, but I just loved being able to reminisce that um, you know, Jennifer Coolidge got an award for being in White Lotus, and she&#39;s gay icon. She&#39;s a gay icon. She&#39;s a gay icon, and she called it out too. And she said, Thank you to the evil gays who made this gift possible for me, which is hilarious. And then another gay icon. David: 3:50 That&#39;s redundant, evil gays. We know gays are evil. We embrace it. Gavin: 3:54 We embrace it. I mean, listen, if the Pope calls us evil gays, we&#39;re not cool with it. But if Madam Coolidge does it, have at it. David: 4:02 I don&#39;t know. I feel like I take RuPaul&#39;s stance, which is like, if if they&#39;re talking about you or if they hate being hateful to you, like you&#39;re winning. They&#39;re talking about you. Yeah, right. Like, like if the if the if the if the Pope hates me and is actively like, I&#39;m like, oh, I&#39;m doing something right. Gavin: 4:14 Rue is so, so very right about that. And I&#39;d like that you made that transition because of course um RuPaul made a great statement also at the Emmys when um he got up there and said addressed directly um drag queen story hour and just declared the library is open. Yes. David: 4:33 Hey, and we have a we have a guest today that&#39;s uh an author. So listen, it&#39;s an all-author, all library is open episode. Gavin: 4:40 We are all about making those doors open and flinging them open for all families and kids and types and everybody. And um then, of course, I mean, since you opened the door for me to talk about my gaze in the news, which I absolutely love. Of course, there&#39;s I love that the Supreme Court definitely punted, but at least they punted, uh, talking about trans bathrooms in Indiana, which was good. They essentially said we&#39;re not going to rule against the circuit court in the Midwest. So that&#39;s good that a that one little high school in Indiana gets to um continue upholding the right for a trans uh student to use the bathroom of their choice, which is great. And then, but then also in other trans news, did you know that a trans person, I believe it was trans man, was running for the state house in Ohio, and they wouldn&#39;t allow, they disallowed his candidacy because he refused to use his dead name on his official application form. And they just found a dumbass loophole to say, nope, you have to have your birth by name. And the person, actually, sorry, I don&#39;t remember the gender of the person, if it was a trans man or a trans woman, but the person said, no, this is my dead name. This is my this is my name. I have changed it. David: 5:46 And they&#39;re just Nikki Haley doesn&#39;t use her real name. She uses her fucking white girl name. So what the fuck is the problem? Um but wait, going back to bathrooms, I think this is gonna be take take the trans issues out of it, which are very important. I think bathroom culture is changing because I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve noticed, Gavin, a lot of the um studios in Manhattan, a lot of the bathrooms are becoming kind of like all gender bathrooms where the every stall is individual, and then like the sink washing area is kind of open air-ish. So it doesn&#39;t feel like a bathroom now, which is like very like isolated and like confined. It&#39;s like this open air thing, but the stalls are isolated, but it&#39;s all gender. And it&#39;s it actually like the one I&#39;m thinking about is at Telsi. And I always love it, just feels like oh, I was like, oh, this is where bathrooms are going. This feels there&#39;s nothing gross about it. It feels kind of open, it doesn&#39;t feel threatening. So I I I hope that that&#39;s where this eventually goes, at least for trans people, so they don&#39;t have to fucking fight to like use the litter box that they want to use in the bathroom that they want to use. Gavin: 6:45 Um also I think bathrooms like that engender better behavior on all fronts. I mean, let&#39;s face it, men, we are disgusting. David: 6:52 We&#39;re having done some horrific things in some bathrooms that are. Gavin: 6:55 Well, I was gonna say you still have plenty of privacy in those little tiny cabins, if whatever you want to call them. David: 7:00 But cabin number two, okay. Gavin: 7:04 But when you are out washing your hands, then you&#39;d like it makes us all act a little more humane. Now, you know, in some cases there need to be safe women&#39;s spaces, safe men&#39;s spaces where you where you do just like get to be a guy, I suppose, or get to be a woman. But it&#39;s it&#39;s just such it&#39;s much more civilized. You know, I was an exchange student in Paris. Part of the reason that last week I referenced um calling the seltzer Le Croix instead of LaCroix. You&#39;re welcome. David: 7:29 I still I&#39;ve I&#39;ve stayed at night. Gavin: 7:31 You&#39;re still thinking about that. But um, I went to a college there for a semester in Paris, and they had those bathrooms actually then in uh 1957 when I was there. There you go. And they had the like they called them the cat the the cabins, and then you all washed your hands uh collectively. And I was so shocked by it, but also refreshed, like, oh well, what&#39;s the big deal? We&#39;re just washing our hands and kind of looking at ourselves in the mirror, and it&#39;s all right. David: 7:58 Well, that&#39;s gave it you just staring at yourself, just really loving the stuff. You know, I did self-that&#39;s what I&#39;m doing right now in the Riverside studio. All right, let&#39;s try to be more helpful. This is not being helpful to anybody. Not evidence of my personal dad hack of the week, which I discovered this week, and I it is actually my husband who discovered it, and I cannot believe it&#39;s working. Right. I cannot believe it. It enrages me. So I have a two-year-old girl, and she&#39;s a fucking nightmare, and she cries all the time. And so she cries at night, she cries while she&#39;s sleeping, she cries in the car, she&#39;s just always upset. And so recently, since we got back from vacation, she&#39;s been crying up the stairs to bed during the change, during reading book, going down like it&#39;s just cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. And so the other day, my husband he&#39;s holding her kind of like before he&#39;s about to lay her down. He&#39;s just like holding her, and he whispers in her ear, no crying when I lay you down. And then he laid her down. And that bitch was silent. And I was like, No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way. So I do it the next night. We&#39;re up there and she&#39;s crying, she&#39;s being just annoying and whatever. And I I know I&#39;m talking shit about my daughter, she&#39;s actually pretty cool, but she cries all the time. Of course, she&#39;s beautiful. So I pick her up and I&#39;m about to turn off the light, and I say, Now I want to turn off this light. SPEAKER_02: 9:05 There&#39;s no more crying. I turned off the light, gave in. She didn&#39;t cry. David: 9:11 We have discovered a secret. SPEAKER_02: 9:12 That&#39;s amazing. David: 9:13 And it is telling your daughter, do not cry. And then she just does it. Now I know everyone out there like you are laughing at me, like, bitch, this is a love. Yeah, this is pretty loud. This will this will change. But but my dad hack of the week, tell your kid not to cry before then before before you know they&#39;re about to. That&#39;s what it is. It&#39;s not that she was crying and I said, Stop crying or no crying. It was like I knew crying was coming. So I said, now no crying when I lay you down. So anyway, that&#39;s my dad hack of the week. Gavin: 9:39 Uh I cannot wait to hear how it backfires by next week. David: 9:44 So let&#39;s get into our top three list, shall we? Gate three arcs. Gavin: 9:47 Top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:50 Ah, the dulcetones. Tell us, David. Gavin: 9:52 I was gonna say exactly the same thing. We&#39;re so predictable. So predictable. We have one podcasting mind between us. So what tell us this was your topic. What was it? David: 10:02 This week&#39;s list is top three ways you are a lesbian. Okay, so my top three ways that I&#39;m a lesbian. Uh and number three, I am a problem solver. I feel like lesbians, like if you&#39;re like, oh my god, um, I can&#39;t get my cat in the cage, my whatever broke, my whatever. Lesbians go right into active mode. They&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna solve this problem. I have a list of steps and we&#39;re gonna fix this together. And I fucking love that. And I think I&#39;m that way. Gavin: 10:31 I think that&#39;s very accurate. David: 10:32 Yeah. Um uh number two, uh, way I&#39;m a lesbian, I like beer in a can. I know it&#39;s supposed to be better in a bottle. I know it&#39;s better maybe from a draft, but man, just like a Miller light in a can, I think that&#39;s solid. So that&#39;s the way I&#39;m a lesbian. Um, and number three, or no, sorry, excuse me, number one, I will say, is that I am fiercely loyal. And I feel like most lesbians, fiercely loyal. Just loyal to a fault. That you&#39;re a lot of passion. They are your right, yeah. They&#39;re your rider dies, and I am your rider die. If you&#39;re in my inner circle. Um, so that&#39;s the top three ways I&#39;m a lesbian. What about it? Gavin: 11:07 Those all have much more substance, uh, but I uh applaud them all. Um number three for me, I hate fruity drinks. I don&#39;t like fruity cocktails. I do not drink fruity beer. I&#39;m not sure that&#39;s a lesbian or lesbianic thing at all. I would imagine there&#39;s lots of pumpkin beer lovers out there, but I just want it basic. So actually, maybe not out of a can, but don&#39;t put fruit with my booze, okay? Okay. Number two, camping. I actually do camp. I&#39;m a scout leader. Yeah, that&#39;s a good one. I am a camp. Scout leader. So yes, camping. And number one, I love women. I love women. David: 11:43 I love women. Do I need to define lesbian to you and what that means? Oh, come on. Gavin: 11:48 It doesn&#39;t have to be a sexual thing in the slightest bit. We know that. David: 11:53 I love women. Oh, yeah. Fucking women are amazing. That&#39;s a great one. I like your list. That was a really that&#39;s really good. Those those three are really good and solid. And you know what? We fucking love our lesbian coaches. Gavin: 12:03 Hell yeah. David: 12:04 We love lesbians. Uh, every single lesbian. Come come join us. Gavin: 12:08 So uh coming up next week, I want to hear from you the top three lies you tell your kid. David: 12:17 Our next guest is an employment attorney and diversity, equity, and inclusion advocate, a single father to his daughter Amina. He&#39;s also the author of the recently published children&#39;s book More Than a Crown, which he wrote to encourage her and other children around the world to follow their dreams and reach for the stars. How cute is that. I know, right? Yes. Uh, please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Roberto Concepcion Jr. unknown: 12:40 Welcome. David: 12:40 Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Um, you guys can&#39;t see him right now, but he is wearing the brightest blue children&#39;s headphones we&#39;ve ever seen. Gavin: 12:50 If you I if you watch our um our YouTube video version of the podcast, which doesn&#39;t exist yet, we&#39;ll put that on our uh to-do list for 2024. You would know that this is a perfect example of you know you&#39;re a father when. David: 13:02 Uh-huh. Absolutely. I mean, you kind of look like what I imagine a bag of delicious snacks in Asia would have on the front of it. You know what I mean? Just like bright blue. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 13:13 The idea of me being referred to as a delicious snack, like that sounds great. David: 13:16 Anyway. Well, you are a delicious snack. You are. Let&#39;s get into it. Yeah. Um, but you&#39;re a dad, and that&#39;s why you&#39;re here. And um, we&#39;re excited to have you. So you&#39;re a single dad, and you...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we again talk about our favorite drag queen, the Pope, we list the top 3 reasons we are lesbians, David tells his daughter to stop crying, and we are joined this week by our very own Elle Woods, Roberto Concepción, Jr, who talks to us about being a single gay Dad, which Disney princesses were his favorite, and what inspired him to write the children&apos;s book &#34;More Than A Crown.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the internet. David is at David V F on the internet. Gavin: 0:09 You can do that again. God. It&#39;s your own. David: 0:12 That extra initial dude, I mean I mean it was a terrible decision I made at 20 years old and it&#39;s haunted me. So it&#39;s and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:35 So remember last time? Yeah, it was last time that we talked about uh the Vatican suddenly being really cool with um gay marriage. And you were like, Well, of course they&#39;re cool with gay marriage because they&#39;re a bunch of drag queens wearing their heels and their jewels and their dresses. Well, and you know what? You shat on my excitement there so quickly. And why am I here with my tail between my legs? Do you want to tell us? David: 1:01 Um, yeah, I think the Vatican uh officially uh condemned surrogacy, calling it like disgusting or abominable, or you know, they use some sort of you know word or whatever. Heretical hellfire word, but yeah, whatever. Listen, this is coming from just like a uh atheist bordering on anti-theist, but like I just like I&#39;m not surprised. It doesn&#39;t, it doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t even I&#39;m not shocked. I don&#39;t uh it I I just feel numb to it all, but it is hilarious that they su they they think that they&#39;re being clever and cool about like gay marriage is cool and then they&#39;re like JK, we fucking hate surrogacy, it&#39;s disgusting. Yeah, um they just keep moving the goalpost and deciding what rules every day, it&#39;s whatever. Gavin: 1:38 Hey, I&#39;m an optimist, they&#39;re gonna come to their senses anyway, and it does kind of surprise me. I am not Catholic, but I do feel the sense of like procreation and having children, bringing them into the world, especially if you&#39;re the Vatican, don&#39;t you want more Catholic kids in this in the world? Whether or not no matter how they&#39;re you know made. Well, I don&#39;t know. You know what though? There is good stuff out there to be to celebrate. Like, did you know that there&#39;s going to be a Broadway musical based on Purple Rain? David: 2:07 I did not know that. Yeah, I mean, come on. I&#39;m surprised I didn&#39;t know that, but yeah. No, no, celebrate. Okay. I mean, but listen, this is the problem with like jukebox musicals, anything based off existing IP, especially if it&#39;s music IP, is such a dangerous, dangerous task on Broadway. Because now, listen, a lot of shows, listen, Jersey Boys is uh uh MJ right now on Broadway. There&#39;s some really great examples of that. Yes, Mamma Mia did well at the box office. I don&#39;t know if I&#39;d call her artistic achievement, but listen, but it sure is fine. There are successful ones, and then there, I won&#39;t even name the other ones, but there are much less successful ones. Gavin: 2:40 There&#39;s a lot of bullshit. There&#39;s absolutely a lot of bullshit. And and like these days, half the season is frankly jukebox musicals based on previous IP, and it&#39;s we know that it&#39;s mostly honestly, it&#39;s mostly terrible. I do love the frankly, Mama Mia. You do just I like just taking the ride with it, and it does though remind me of a friend of mine who saw it way back in the day, first national tour, and I said, and he&#39;s not a musical guy. Well, he he appreciates them, but he&#39;s not an actor or anything. I said, What did you think of it? He said, It was a]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we again talk about our favorite drag queen, the Pope, we list the top 3 reasons we are lesbians, David tells his daughter to stop crying, and we are joined this week by our very own Elle Woods, Roberto Concepción, Jr, who talks to us about being a single gay Dad, which Disney princesses were his favorite, and what inspired him to write the children&apos;s book &#34;More Than A Crown.&#34; Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchs Podcast on the internet. David is at David V F on the internet. Gavin: 0:09 You can do that again. God. It&#39;s your own. David: 0:12 That extra initial dude, I mean I mean it was a terrible decision I made at 20 years old and it&#39;s haunted me. So it&#39;s and this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:35 So remember last time? Yeah, it was last time that we talked about uh the Vatican suddenly]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Steven Rowley, author of &#8220;The Guncle&#8221;</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-steven-rowley-author-of-the-guncle/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 Jan 2024 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-14272716</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week we dive into some more gay news, David texts the real Paw Patrol for his son, we rate the top 3 things we&apos;re doing to make our kids cool, and this week we are honored to be joined by author Steven Rowley where we talk all things Palm Springs, all things (g)uncling, and why the most interesting thing at the Zoo isn&apos;t the meatball launcher. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um, all right, one do act three real quick. Yep. David: 0:05 So buy something. Gavin: 0:07 I never do it. I never start. David: 0:08 All right, you start. You start. Gavin: 0:10 I&#39;m reclaiming my time. David: 0:13 Maxine. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:29 So I think I painted myself into a little bit of a corner. Um my four-year-old, um, now that he just had his birthday, is already talking about what he wants for his next birthday. And one of the things he says is he wants Paw Patrol to come to his birthday party. So because we&#39;ve been to a couple birthday parties where like costume characters come. So I said, sure, sure. He goes, No, no, no, no. I want the real Paw Patrol. Okay. And so what I decided to do, I regret it immediately, was I said, Oh, well, I&#39;ll just text them. And so I get on my phone and my husband is on the other side of the couch, and I pull up a text to Brian, my husband, and I start texting and I say, Hey, would you mind coming to Emmett&#39;s birthday party? And then Brian sent back a text. Sure, that sounds great. And I showed it to him. I went, they just said yes. And his eyes lit up and he started jumping up and down. No, no, every single day since that. He goes, Now Paw Patrol, the real Paw Patrol is coming to my birthday, right? They texted you, right? And he keeps asking me to text Paw Patrol things. And I&#39;m like, oh God, what do I do? I mean, listen, this is 10 months away, but I&#39;m like, I I he is he says it every day. The real Paw, will you text them? Gavin: 1:46 I said, Well, you&#39;re in it. Thank God. I&#39;m really relieved to hear it&#39;s 10 months away because I was thinking this was in just a couple of weeks, and I thought, first of all, I can&#39;t wait to see pictures of you dressed up as whatever their names are, because I don&#39;t remember their names anymore. It&#39;s been a while, but uh you&#39;ve got 10 minutes, 10 months to absolutely make sure he forgets about this and focuses on his having some other characters show up. But this might be something he holds on to. David: 2:11 Uh I tell you what, every morning he he&#39;s like, Did you text Paw Patrol last night? I&#39;m like, Yeah, I I said you up at like 11:30 p.m. Gavin: 2:20 Um and you and and now you&#39;re gonna slowly shift into the gratitude world of being like, how about you stop being so demanding and realize how show me some gratitude for all the efforts I&#39;ve made in the past, but that&#39;s gonna like up the ante if you get somebody to dress up. You know, uh years ago uh we had a princess party, a princess birthday party for my daughter. And my partner and I were sitting around thinking, can we get somebody to show up as a as a princess? And I&#39;m like, oh my God, this reminds me of my friend, a friend who is very princess-like, and she was in a Broadway show at the time. And I&#39;m like, listen, this is so beneath you, so beneath you. But could you come and put on a$25 Amazon bell dress? You know, you&#39;re catch fire immediately. You&#39;re you&#39;re accustomed to wearing$10,000 dresses all the time in shows. But would you demean yourself on a Sunday morning before a two show day and come down and just like take some pictures and hug her? And she said, Absolutely. I mean, with full enthusiasm. Then she got a friend in the show who also knew us who said, Wait a minute, I have a Snow White costume. Put on, they both came down dressed as Belle and Snow White, and I am forever grateful. But uh that was setting a really high bar of these women who were wearing these disgusting costumes for uh just a little while. Um, so I I&#39;m I&#39;m laughing at you and then realizing, oh no, no, no, I&#39;m laughing with you because I fully did that. I have just I am so old and decrepit now. I had forgotten that until you finished your story. So have you noticed some gay dad news of late? There&#39;s a little bit of gay dad news in the media. David: 4:07 Tell us. Gavin: 4:08 Well, I just want to make sure that you&#39;re aware of a couple of things. For instance, we have some progress on the front in Iowa, where a judge blocked the banning of books in Iowa. Of books, of course, I mean, fill in the blank. It&#39;s all the don&#39;t say gay business along the Florida nutshell of um, you know, gender identity and diversity and anything that even remotely smacks of sexual acts. And the governor there um is undoubtedly going to undoubtedly sign it. But the a judge blocked it and said, no, no, no, you can&#39;t do this because luckily they found the loophole of it&#39;s incredibly broad. So the definition of um, you know, questionable books. So I felt like that was a a good omen out there um here coming up on a presidential cycle where, oh my God, the shit&#39;s gonna hit the fan. David: 4:56 It&#39;s hard for me to feel those like those are wins when the whole predicament in the beginning was stupid and unnecessary. Well, absolutely. But I get it. Like it&#39;s a it&#39;s a win, right? Like books are not gonna be banned in Iowa. Yeah. But like, why did we even have to waste all of our time even defending that? Yeah. Like, can&#39;t we all do other things with our time? Gavin: 5:16 Yep. Uh, you&#39;re absolutely right about that. And I suppose I should have a little less princess-like delight in my voice when I said, Isn&#39;t this great? Uh, but I am looking at it as like, please tell me that this is the progress and it&#39;ll keep going. Actually, it probably won&#39;t, and it&#39;ll be get worse before it gets better, especially in the presidential cycle. But you know what? Speaking of conservatives, though, also, uh, you know, the Vatican recently said that they are going to bless gay weddings and they&#39;ve had an awful lot of conservative pushback. And the Vatican has been like, fuck off, bitch. This we&#39;re staying the course. So they bitch, we wear dresses and jewels. David: 5:50 We are drag queens. We are literal drag queens. Gavin: 5:55 So there is good shit out there to look forward to. So um, yeah, they&#39;re going to the Vatican to get married. Still not gonna do it. Oh no. David: 6:05 Um, um, did you have a dad hack of the week you wanted to share with us by chance? I do. So I don&#39;t know if this is gonna be a full-time um bit we&#39;re gonna do, but I just feel like I have all these little hacks. Yeah. And it&#39;s kind of like in our Instagram bios like, we should be doing more hacks. So maybe this is hack of the week, maybe it&#39;ll be every week, maybe it&#39;ll be whenever I fucking feel like it. Yeah. But I was um one of the things, um, if you have younger children, and maybe it&#39;s with older children too, Gavin, is that it is really hard when you&#39;re taking a photo of them and they know you&#39;re taking a photo of them for them to smile earnestly. Yeah. They do this fake teethy just to get through the photo because oh my god, stop taking photos of me. And nobody likes those photos. We all like the like kind of like caught off guard kind of photos. So I am always struggling. My son keeps doing this like teeth thing, and I&#39;m like, stop. I always say stop. Gavin: 6:55 But they&#39;re cute. They&#39;re little a five, a four-year-old making a teethy grin. I mean, let me tell you. It&#39;s ugly. It&#39;s ugly. I hate it. Having a petulant 12-year-old who absolutely will not smile. I miss the cute little teethy grin. But it&#39;s not cute. David: 7:08 He&#39;s just like going, ugh, like it&#39;s uh for an audio platform. I&#39;m glad everyone got to see that. But so I found a hack. So maybe this is just because my son is egotistical, but I found that if he can see himself, so if he&#39;s looking into a mirror or you&#39;re holding the phone to where the screen is facing the kid, yeah, they smile earnestly because they can see their face and they&#39;re really interested in what they look like. So even if they&#39;re not like fully smiling, like a JCPenney ad, but they&#39;re at least have a like a neutral or positive vibe. I have found that that is the only way I can get photos of my children where they&#39;re not looking fake. So my hack of the week is if you&#39;re trying to take a photo of your child and you want them to smile, have them look in the mirror at themselves or at the screen on your phone, and I think you&#39;ll get a better picture. Gavin: 7:52 All right. I&#39;m okay with that. I&#39;m okay with that. So, how about our top three list, huh? Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s topic is three ways you are making your kid cool. Which I would imagine there were so many ways about uh being able to come at this, right? Like the ways that I think I&#39;m making my kid cool are probably actually making them get beat up um in the, you know, behind the school, um, after school. Or ways that I think that I&#39;m making them cool, they&#39;re like laughing at me because I&#39;m such a loser. But in my perspective, the ways that I believe that I&#39;m making my kid cool are number three, I like to host. And by hosting is I just will always want to have an open door policy, and I want my kids to come over and I want their friends to feel comfortable. I don&#39;t necessarily have the greatest snacks, but I try to have lots of snacks because snacks are key. So that is making your kid cool, right? Yeah. Number two, the way I&#39;m trying to help my kids feel cool is much to my dismay, I let them dress like complete fucking slobs. Which I realize, thank goodness is the fashion right now. They just wear oversized sweats, which is super cheap, thank God. You know, um, but I I think they dress horribly, but I let them feel like they are cool by um dressing horribly like slobs. And the number one way that I believe I am making my kids cool. We drink a lot of seltzer in our house. A lot of seltzer. And because I&#39;m an insufferable snob, I pronounce it LaCroix. Oh my God, get that. Because come on here. Because come on. Because come on, it&#39;s a French name. Come on. My God. Anyway, my kids pronounce it LaCroix, and that&#39;s just how we&#39;ve always pronounced it for the last 10 years because we were down with the pompous way before it became trendy. David: 9:46 But LaCroix is already a different pronunciation of C-R-O-I-X. Like you don&#39;t have to add a third. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:52 This is how you&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome. You can you can hold that against me for a very long time. What about you? What is your top three for making your kids supposedly cool? David: 10:01 So uh number three is that my kids are speaking Spanish as much as we can get them to. So they go to a daycare where Spanish is also taught, but my husband and I also speak Spanish. Gavin: 10:12 So we will try as we&#39;re laughing, I&#39;m laughing at you when you say my husband and I, and I&#39;m just I have the image of you guys speaking Spanish at home. Please tell me that you speak Spanish at home. David: 10:25 We we do, and why is that funny? No, no. We don&#39;t speak like white person Spanish. We&#39;re like, give us the quesadilla. We don&#39;t say that, but like we try to like uh I find myself saying it, especially when I&#39;m like yelling at the kids, I&#39;ll be like, you know, uh come here, and then I&#39;ll repeat it in Spanish or whatever. But we&#39;re trying to like make Spanish a under like an easy, like, oh yeah, I I know a lot of Spanish. That&#39;s awesome. So that&#39;s number three. Uh number two, my kids know their 90s pop music. Oh, do they know it? They know that my I can play a like a random, random song from like Mariah Carey, and he knows if it&#39;s Mariah Carey or Winnie Houston or whoever. So uh number two, he knows his 90s pop music. Um, number one way I&#39;m making my kid cooler than other kids, they have gay dads. Hells yeah. That&#39;s fucking cool, man. Hells yeah. Back in the day it was not cool. Now that&#39;s fucking dope. So number one, they have gay dads. That&#39;s awesome. I I I applaud you particularly on that last one. That&#39;s awesome. So uh next week, uh, our uh top three lists are gonna be the top three ways you&#39;re a lesbian. unknown: 11:29 Okay. Gavin: 11:30 Y&#39;all, we are upping our game here. You&#39;re laughing because I&#39;m reading this, aren&#39;t you, David? Uh we are upping our game because we have a New York Times bestselling author on the show. And if you thought we were insufferably pretentious before, well, just you wait. Um, today we are joined by Stephen Rowley, the author of so many books, Lily and the Octopus, which was the aforementioned New York Times bestseller. The editor, named by MPR as one of the best books of 2019, The Celebrants, uh, today&#39;s show read with Jenna Book Club Pick. With with the Today Show, uh, Jenna Books Club Club&#39;s pick. Oh, Jesus. And but anyway, I&#39;m just leading up to the actual reason that I want to have him here, is because he&#39;s also the author of The Gunkle, a Goodreads Choice Awards finalist for 2021, novel of the year, and winner of the 22nd Thurber Prize for American Humor. He may not be a gay dad. He might or might not be considered a gay daddy, but he literally wrote the book on gunklehood. Welcome, Stephen Rowley. And tell us is the secret to life living in Palm Springs, nursing a martini, and wearing a caftan? SPEAKER_00: 12:43 Well, I&#39;ll tell you, I, you know, at my age, the secret to the secret to a good life for me is is moving to Palm Springs uh right before I turn 50 because I am young in Palm Springs. Oh, yeah. I was old in LA. I was middle-aged in San Francisco, but I am a twink here in Palm Springs, and uh I&#39;m happy to turn heads uh at my age anyway I can. David: 13:07 That sounds fantastic. The secret to life is surviving the length of an intro like that. SPEAKER_00: 13:11 I know it&#39;s about my bad, my bad. Gavin: 13:15 I literally, yes, I did obviously steal that from your website, but there were so many good good tidbits in there. I need to show the I need to justify our pretension in having you here. So stop being so successful. It&#39;s really getting in the way of our introduction. SPEAKER_00: 13:27 Listen, it&#39;s gonna come to an end sometime. Gavin: 13:29 So milk that 15 minutes. So The Gunkle, uh even though you wrote it multiple uh novels ago, The Gunkel is really a fantastic book. And uh the reason that we wanted to have you here, because we want to hear all of your parenting advice. But before you tell us your parenting advice from your experience with your nieces and your nephews, and to be clear, you are not a father yourself. But what inspired The Gunkel? SPEAKER_00: 13:56 Yeah, you know, as you say, I&#39;m I&#39;m not a father uh myself. And as an artist and as a writer, I was always sort of very, you know, almost self-conscious of not having that life experience in my arsenal. Um, because no matter what you think of the having and raising of children, it&#39;s, you know, inarguably one of life&#39;s great emotional uh experiences. And so when I became an uncle, and I am now uh an uncle five times over, plus an honorary uncle to many friends&#39; uh kids as well. Um, you know, I was surprised at the sort of depth and meaning uh I found in those relationships and how much they enriched my life. Um the guncle itself, though, was inspired by my brother uh was coming to visit me here in Palm Springs with his two boys who were uh ages three and five at the time. Uh and yes, they...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we dive into some more gay news, David texts the real Paw Patrol for his son, we rate the top 3 things we&apos;re doing to make our kids cool, and this week we are honored to be joined by author Steven Rowley where we talk all things Palm Sprin]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we dive into some more gay news, David texts the real Paw Patrol for his son, we rate the top 3 things we&apos;re doing to make our kids cool, and this week we are honored to be joined by author Steven Rowley where we talk all things Palm Springs, all things (g)uncling, and why the most interesting thing at the Zoo isn&apos;t the meatball launcher. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um, all right, one do act three real quick. Yep. David: 0:05 So buy something. Gavin: 0:07 I never do it. I never start. David: 0:08 All right, you start. You start. Gavin: 0:10 I&#39;m reclaiming my time. David: 0:13 Maxine. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:29 So I think I painted myself into a little bit of a corner. Um my four-year-old, um, now that he just had his birthday, is already talking about what he wants for his next birthday. And one of the things he says is he wants Paw Patrol to come to his birthday party. So because we&#39;ve been to a couple birthday parties where like costume characters come. So I said, sure, sure. He goes, No, no, no, no. I want the real Paw Patrol. Okay. And so what I decided to do, I regret it immediately, was I said, Oh, well, I&#39;ll just text them. And so I get on my phone and my husband is on the other side of the couch, and I pull up a text to Brian, my husband, and I start texting and I say, Hey, would you mind coming to Emmett&#39;s birthday party? And then Brian sent back a text. Sure, that sounds great. And I showed it to him. I went, they just said yes. And his eyes lit up and he started jumping up and down. No, no, every single day since that. He goes, Now Paw Patrol, the real Paw Patrol is coming to my birthday, right? They texted you, right? And he keeps asking me to text Paw Patrol things. And I&#39;m like, oh God, what do I do? I mean, listen, this is 10 months away, but I&#39;m like, I I he is he says it every day. The real Paw, will you text them? Gavin: 1:46 I said, Well, you&#39;re in it. Thank God. I&#39;m really relieved to hear it&#39;s 10 months away because I was thinking this was in just a couple of weeks, and I thought, first of all, I can&#39;t wait to see pictures of you dressed up as whatever their names are, because I don&#39;t remember their names anymore. It&#39;s been a while, but uh you&#39;ve got 10 minutes, 10 months to absolutely make sure he forgets about this and focuses on his having some other characters show up. But this might be something he holds on to. David: 2:11 Uh I tell you what, every morning he he&#39;s like, Did you text Paw Patrol last night? I&#39;m like, Yeah, I I said you up at like 11:30 p.m. Gavin: 2:20 Um and you and and now you&#39;re gonna slowly shift into the gratitude world of being like, how about you stop being so demanding and realize how show me some gratitude for all the efforts I&#39;ve made in the past, but that&#39;s gonna like up the ante if you get somebody to dress up. You know, uh years ago uh we had a princess party, a princess birthday party for my daughter. And my partner and I were sitting around thinking, can we get somebody to show up as a as a princess? And I&#39;m like, oh my God, this reminds me of my friend, a friend who is very princess-like, and she was in a Broadway show at the time. And I&#39;m like, listen, this is so beneath you, so beneath you. But could you come and put on a$25 Amazon bell dress? You know, you&#39;re catch fire immediately. You&#39;re you&#39;re accustomed to wearing$10,000 dresses all the time in shows. But would you demean yourself on a Sunday morning before a two show day and come down and just like take some pictures and hug her? And she said, Absolutely. I mean, with full enthusiasm. Then she got a friend in the show who also knew us who said, Wait a minute, I have a Snow White costume. Put on, they both came down dressed as Belle and Snow White, and I am forever grateful. But uh that was setting a really high bar of these women who were wearing these disgusting costumes for uh just a little while. Um, so I I&#39;m I&#39;m laughing at you and then realizing, oh no, no, no, I&#39;m laughing with you because I fully did that. I have just I am so old and decrepit now. I had forgotten that until you finished your story. So have you noticed some gay dad news of late? There&#39;s a little bit of gay dad news in the media. David: 4:07 Tell us. Gavin: 4:08 Well, I just want to make sure that you&#39;re aware of a couple of things. For instance, we have some progress on the front in Iowa, where a judge blocked the banning of books in Iowa. Of books, of course, I mean, fill in the blank. It&#39;s all the don&#39;t say gay business along the Florida nutshell of um, you know, gender identity and diversity and anything that even remotely smacks of sexual acts. And the governor there um is undoubtedly going to undoubtedly sign it. But the a judge blocked it and said, no, no, no, you can&#39;t do this because luckily they found the loophole of it&#39;s incredibly broad. So the definition of um, you know, questionable books. So I felt like that was a a good omen out there um here coming up on a presidential cycle where, oh my God, the shit&#39;s gonna hit the fan. David: 4:56 It&#39;s hard for me to feel those like those are wins when the whole predicament in the beginning was stupid and unnecessary. Well, absolutely. But I get it. Like it&#39;s a it&#39;s a win, right? Like books are not gonna be banned in Iowa. Yeah. But like, why did we even have to waste all of our time even defending that? Yeah. Like, can&#39;t we all do other things with our time? Gavin: 5:16 Yep. Uh, you&#39;re absolutely right about that. And I suppose I should have a little less princess-like delight in my voice when I said, Isn&#39;t this great? Uh, but I am looking at it as like, please tell me that this is the progress and it&#39;ll keep going. Actually, it probably won&#39;t, and it&#39;ll be get worse before it gets better, especially in the presidential cycle. But you know what? Speaking of conservatives, though, also, uh, you know, the Vatican recently said that they are going to bless gay weddings and they&#39;ve had an awful lot of conservative pushback. And the Vatican has been like, fuck off, bitch. This we&#39;re staying the course. So they bitch, we wear dresses and jewels. David: 5:50 We are drag queens. We are literal drag queens. Gavin: 5:55 So there is good shit out there to look forward to. So um, yeah, they&#39;re going to the Vatican to get married. Still not gonna do it. Oh no. David: 6:05 Um, um, did you have a dad hack of the week you wanted to share with us by chance? I do. So I don&#39;t know if this is gonna be a full-time um bit we&#39;re gonna do, but I just feel like I have all these little hacks. Yeah. And it&#39;s kind of like in our Instagram bios like, we should be doing more hacks. So maybe this is hack of the week, maybe it&#39;ll be every week, maybe it&#39;ll be whenever I fucking feel like it. Yeah. But I was um one of the things, um, if you have younger children, and maybe it&#39;s with older children too, Gavin, is that it is really hard when you&#39;re taking a photo of them and they know you&#39;re taking a photo of them for them to smile earnestly. Yeah. They do this fake teethy just to get through the photo because oh my god, stop taking photos of me. And nobody likes those photos. We all like the like kind of like caught off guard kind of photos. So I am always struggling. My son keeps doing this like teeth thing, and I&#39;m like, stop. I always say stop. Gavin: 6:55 But they&#39;re cute. They&#39;re little a five, a four-year-old making a teethy grin. I mean, let me tell you. It&#39;s ugly. It&#39;s ugly. I hate it. Having a petulant 12-year-old who absolutely will not smile. I miss the cute little teethy grin. But it&#39;s not cute. David: 7:08 He&#39;s just like going, ugh, like it&#39;s uh for an audio platform. I&#39;m glad everyone got to see that. But so I found a hack. So maybe this is just because my son is egotistical, but I found that if he can see himself, so if he&#39;s looking into a mirror or you&#39;re holding the phone to where the screen is facing the kid, yeah, they smile earnestly because they can see their face and they&#39;re really interested in what they look like. So even if they&#39;re not like fully smiling, like a JCPenney ad, but they&#39;re at least have a like a neutral or positive vibe. I have found that that is the only way I can get photos of my children where they&#39;re not looking fake. So my hack of the week is if you&#39;re trying to take a photo of your child and you want them to smile, have them look in the mirror at themselves or at the screen on your phone, and I think you&#39;ll get a better picture. Gavin: 7:52 All right. I&#39;m okay with that. I&#39;m okay with that. So, how about our top three list, huh? Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. So this week&#39;s topic is three ways you are making your kid cool. Which I would imagine there were so many ways about uh being able to come at this, right? Like the ways that I think I&#39;m making my kid cool are probably actually making them get beat up um in the, you know, behind the school, um, after school. Or ways that I think that I&#39;m making them cool, they&#39;re like laughing at me because I&#39;m such a loser. But in my perspective, the ways that I believe that I&#39;m making my kid cool are number three, I like to host. And by hosting is I just will always want to have an open door policy, and I want my kids to come over and I want their friends to feel comfortable. I don&#39;t necessarily have the greatest snacks, but I try to have lots of snacks because snacks are key. So that is making your kid cool, right? Yeah. Number two, the way I&#39;m trying to help my kids feel cool is much to my dismay, I let them dress like complete fucking slobs. Which I realize, thank goodness is the fashion right now. They just wear oversized sweats, which is super cheap, thank God. You know, um, but I I think they dress horribly, but I let them feel like they are cool by um dressing horribly like slobs. And the number one way that I believe I am making my kids cool. We drink a lot of seltzer in our house. A lot of seltzer. And because I&#39;m an insufferable snob, I pronounce it LaCroix. Oh my God, get that. Because come on here. Because come on. Because come on, it&#39;s a French name. Come on. My God. Anyway, my kids pronounce it LaCroix, and that&#39;s just how we&#39;ve always pronounced it for the last 10 years because we were down with the pompous way before it became trendy. David: 9:46 But LaCroix is already a different pronunciation of C-R-O-I-X. Like you don&#39;t have to add a third. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:52 This is how you&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome. You can you can hold that against me for a very long time. What about you? What is your top three for making your kids supposedly cool? David: 10:01 So uh number three is that my kids are speaking Spanish as much as we can get them to. So they go to a daycare where Spanish is also taught, but my husband and I also speak Spanish. Gavin: 10:12 So we will try as we&#39;re laughing, I&#39;m laughing at you when you say my husband and I, and I&#39;m just I have the image of you guys speaking Spanish at home. Please tell me that you speak Spanish at home. David: 10:25 We we do, and why is that funny? No, no. We don&#39;t speak like white person Spanish. We&#39;re like, give us the quesadilla. We don&#39;t say that, but like we try to like uh I find myself saying it, especially when I&#39;m like yelling at the kids, I&#39;ll be like, you know, uh come here, and then I&#39;ll repeat it in Spanish or whatever. But we&#39;re trying to like make Spanish a under like an easy, like, oh yeah, I I know a lot of Spanish. That&#39;s awesome. So that&#39;s number three. Uh number two, my kids know their 90s pop music. Oh, do they know it? They know that my I can play a like a random, random song from like Mariah Carey, and he knows if it&#39;s Mariah Carey or Winnie Houston or whoever. So uh number two, he knows his 90s pop music. Um, number one way I&#39;m making my kid cooler than other kids, they have gay dads. Hells yeah. That&#39;s fucking cool, man. Hells yeah. Back in the day it was not cool. Now that&#39;s fucking dope. So number one, they have gay dads. That&#39;s awesome. I I I applaud you particularly on that last one. That&#39;s awesome. So uh next week, uh, our uh top three lists are gonna be the top three ways you&#39;re a lesbian. unknown: 11:29 Okay. Gavin: 11:30 Y&#39;all, we are upping our game here. You&#39;re laughing because I&#39;m reading this, aren&#39;t you, David? Uh we are upping our game because we have a New York Times bestselling author on the show. And if you thought we were insufferably pretentious before, well, just you wait. Um, today we are joined by Stephen Rowley, the author of so many books, Lily and the Octopus, which was the aforementioned New York Times bestseller. The editor, named by MPR as one of the best books of 2019, The Celebrants, uh, today&#39;s show read with Jenna Book Club Pick. With with the Today Show, uh, Jenna Books Club Club&#39;s pick. Oh, Jesus. And but anyway, I&#39;m just leading up to the actual reason that I want to have him here, is because he&#39;s also the author of The Gunkle, a Goodreads Choice Awards finalist for 2021, novel of the year, and winner of the 22nd Thurber Prize for American Humor. He may not be a gay dad. He might or might not be considered a gay daddy, but he literally wrote the book on gunklehood. Welcome, Stephen Rowley. And tell us is the secret to life living in Palm Springs, nursing a martini, and wearing a caftan? SPEAKER_00: 12:43 Well, I&#39;ll tell you, I, you know, at my age, the secret to the secret to a good life for me is is moving to Palm Springs uh right before I turn 50 because I am young in Palm Springs. Oh, yeah. I was old in LA. I was middle-aged in San Francisco, but I am a twink here in Palm Springs, and uh I&#39;m happy to turn heads uh at my age anyway I can. David: 13:07 That sounds fantastic. The secret to life is surviving the length of an intro like that. SPEAKER_00: 13:11 I know it&#39;s about my bad, my bad. Gavin: 13:15 I literally, yes, I did obviously steal that from your website, but there were so many good good tidbits in there. I need to show the I need to justify our pretension in having you here. So stop being so successful. It&#39;s really getting in the way of our introduction. SPEAKER_00: 13:27 Listen, it&#39;s gonna come to an end sometime. Gavin: 13:29 So milk that 15 minutes. So The Gunkle, uh even though you wrote it multiple uh novels ago, The Gunkel is really a fantastic book. And uh the reason that we wanted to have you here, because we want to hear all of your parenting advice. But before you tell us your parenting advice from your experience with your nieces and your nephews, and to be clear, you are not a father yourself. But what inspired The Gunkel? SPEAKER_00: 13:56 Yeah, you know, as you say, I&#39;m I&#39;m not a father uh myself. And as an artist and as a writer, I was always sort of very, you know, almost self-conscious of not having that life experience in my arsenal. Um, because no matter what you think of the having and raising of children, it&#39;s, you know, inarguably one of life&#39;s great emotional uh experiences. And so when I became an uncle, and I am now uh an uncle five times over, plus an honorary uncle to many friends&#39; uh kids as well. Um, you know, I was surprised at the sort of depth and meaning uh I found in those relationships and how much they enriched my life. Um the guncle itself, though, was inspired by my brother uh was coming to visit me here in Palm Springs with his two boys who were uh ages three and five at the time. Uh and yes, they...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we dive into some more gay news, David texts the real Paw Patrol for his son, we rate the top 3 things we&apos;re doing to make our kids cool, and this week we are honored to be joined by author Steven Rowley where we talk all things Palm Springs, all things (g)uncling, and why the most interesting thing at the Zoo isn&apos;t the meatball launcher. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um, all right, one do act three real quick. Yep. David: 0:05 So buy something. Gavin: 0:07 I never do it. I never start. David: 0:08 All right, you start. You start. Gavin: 0:10 I&#39;m reclaiming my time. David: 0:13 Maxine. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:29 So I think I painted myself into a little bit of a corner. Um my four-year-old, um, now that he just had his birthday, is already talking about what he wants for his next birthday. And one of the things he says is he wants Paw Patrol to come to his birthday party. So because we&#39;ve been to a couple birthday parties where like costume characters come. So I said, sure, sure. He goes, No, no, no, no. I want the real Paw Patrol. Okay. And so what I decided to do, I regret it immediately, was I said, Oh, well, I&#39;ll just text them. And so I get on my phone and my husband is on the other side of the couch, and I pull up a text to Brian, my husband, and I start texting and I say, Hey, would you mind coming to Emmett&#39;s birthday party? And then Brian sent back a text. Sure, that sounds great. And I showed it to him. I went, they just said yes. And his eyes lit up and he started jumping up and down. No, no, every single day since that. He goes, Now Paw Patrol, the real Paw Patrol is coming to my birthday, right? They texted you, right? And he keeps asking me to text Paw Patrol things. And I&#39;m like, oh God, what do I do? I mean, listen, this is 10 months away, but I&#39;m like, I I he is he says it every day. The real Paw, will you text them? Gavin: 1:46 I said, Well, you&#39;re in it. Thank God. I&#39;m really relieved to hear it&#39;s 10 months away because I was thinking this was in just a couple of weeks, and I thought, first of all, I can&#39;t wait to see pictures of you dressed up as whatever their names are, because I don&#39;t remember their names anymore. It&#39;s been a while, but uh you&#39;ve got 10 minutes, 10 months to absolutely make sure he forgets about this and focuses on his having some other characters show up. But this might be something he holds on to. David: 2:11 Uh I tell you what, every morning he he&#39;s like, Did you text Paw Patrol last night? I&#39;m like, Yeah, I I said you up at like 11:30 p.m. Gavin: 2:20 Um and you and and now you&#39;re gonna slowly shift into the gratitude world of being like, how about you stop being so demanding and realize how show me some gratitude for all the efforts I&#39;ve made in the past, but that&#39;s gonna like up the ante if you get somebody to dress up. You know, uh years ago uh we had a princess party, a princess birthday party for my daughter. And my partner and I were sitting around thinking, can we get somebody to show up as a as a princess? And I&#39;m like, oh my God, this reminds me of my friend, a friend who is very princess-like, and she was in a Broadway show at the time. And I&#39;m like, listen, this is so beneath you, so beneath you. But could you come and put on a$25 Amazon bell dress? You know, you&#39;re catch fire immediately. You&#39;re you&#39;re accustomed to wearing$10,000 dresses all the time in shows. But would you demean yourself on a Sunday morning before a two show day and come down and just like take some pictures and hug her? And she said, Absolutely. I mean, with full enthusiasm. Then she got a friend in the show who also knew us who said, Wait a minute, I have a Snow White costume. Put on, they both came down dressed as Belle and Snow White, and I am fo]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we dive into some more gay news, David texts the real Paw Patrol for his son, we rate the top 3 things we&apos;re doing to make our kids cool, and this week we are honored to be joined by author Steven Rowley where we talk all things Palm Springs, all things (g)uncling, and why the most interesting thing at the Zoo isn&apos;t the meatball launcher. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Um, all right, one do act three real quick. Yep. David: 0:05 So buy something. Gavin: 0:07 I never do it. I never start. David: 0:08 All right, you start. You start. Gavin: 0:10 I&#39;m reclaiming my time. David: 0:13 Maxine. Gavin: 0:14 And this is Gatrix. David: 0:29 So I think I painted myself into a little bit of a corner. Um my four-year-old, um, now that he just had his birthday, is already talking about what he wants for his next birthday. And one of the things he says ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Lauren Makler of Cofertility</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-lauren-makler-of-cofertility/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jan 2024 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son to ask about body parts, we rank the top 3 things we are doing as Dads to make our kids weird, and we are joined by former Uber exec and current CEO of Cofertility to discuss egg donation, super Mom powers, and why David is wrong about most things. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:04 I gotta start a roll on this. Yeah. So stop. Stop. So stop. And this is Gatriotics. David: 0:25 So you know how you were saying sometimes just like walking with your kid is like when they start to open up and like, or you know, you&#39;re just basically not facing each other or they&#39;re driving in the car or whatever. One of the places that happens for me is when my kids are pooping. And my son needs somebody to sit there to witness his defecation. Oh, I love it. Yeah. I miss that. And it it&#39;s fun. It actually is ridiculous. Gavin: 0:49 I feel like I need hold on. I feel like I need to clarify. I miss those days where my kid wanted me to sit in the bathroom with them. I am not actually interested in defecation at all. Hey, if you&#39;re into it, stop it, Gavin. Never mind. Delete all of that. Nope, but my. My point is, I missed that. It was such a sweet time, but we are definitely private poopers now. David: 1:10 Anyway, back to you, David. We are not a private poop. We&#39;re not private anything. We want to tell everybody when we&#39;re pooping and farting and burping. Anyway, so it&#39;s it ends up being when we have the best kind of conversations. And the other day, he was like, What does it mean to die? And I was like, hello, Barbie. Okay, uh, four-year-old. Uh so we&#39;re talking about things, and then he goes, How do I breathe? I was like, Your lungs? He goes, What are lungs? And I explained them to him, and he was like, I want to see them. He always wants to see them. So I showed him like a drawing of lungs. And he&#39;s like, No, I want to see all the real ones. And I was like, and I was like, should I do it? I was like, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna fucking do it. So I Googled a picture of like human lungs and I showed them to him and I explained what they do, and he goes, Okay, okay. And then he goes, I want to see mine. I said, Well, you can&#39;t. You know, your skin covers all your organs, and you know he goes, and then he said, While he&#39;s pooping, looking right into my eyes, he goes, Can I take off my skin so I can look at my body? I said, No, you can&#39;t. That&#39;s fucking creepy, and stay away from me. Um, but yeah, we had a long, long talk about death and your lungs and can I take off my skin? Gavin: 2:15 Which was super I mean, death definitely hearten to downward spirals, and boy, those questions going to getting to the bottom of it. And just you wait, David. Eventually they don&#39;t ask those questions anymore, and they would rather you just die yourself. But wow, I&#39;m not quite there, not quite there, but we don&#39;t get the questions anymore, though. But how, but why, but why, but how? And it&#39;s um it&#39;s a good phase. David: 2:39 I can see how it will be good later looking back on it. And it&#39;s awful. And if I could take, but if I could just take it in 10 minute chunks, we I just had a conversation yesterday with our mutual friend who has a way more successful podcast than we do. And she was saying, like, she&#39;s feeling that thing that she was like, when I had a toddler, everyone told me, enjoy these moments, you&#39;re gonna miss them. And I always said I&#39;m too overwhelmed. And then now that I have a 14-year-old daughter, I miss those times, and it I well up with tears missing those times. And we we came to the same conclusion that we did a couple episodes ago, which was like the only solution is to be able to bottle it up, and you can. So you&#39;re just over, it&#39;s all at the same time and then never again. Gavin: 3:17 So it&#39;s all at the same time and never again, and also it&#39;s just all completely overwhelming, and we&#39;re all doing the best we can. And I don&#39;t know, just try to take a moment. Uh, it&#39;s easier said than done. But we&#39;re all doing the best we can. David: 3:29 You know who else is doing the best they can? Do tell. Are the Navy SEAL trainees at the gym? Gaven? Wait a minute, you have Navy SEALs at your gym. Gavin, I go to the gym by me and I do personal training, usually two or three times a week, and it&#39;s always the same people, right? There&#39;s the old man with a blue shirt, there&#39;s the woman who&#39;s really fit and she&#39;s in the corner. Like, I know all my people. It&#39;s always the same time. And recently, all of these really young guys have been there, and then the other day they were all working out together in the same shirts, and I asked my trainer, I was like, Who is that? He goes, Those are Navy SEAL recruits. So obviously, I spent the next three hours in the steam room waiting for them to join me. And it was like so weird that they didn&#39;t. Yeah, I know. But they were like doing hundreds of push-ups, hundreds of pull-ups in like 20 chunks, right? Like it was the amount of stuff that they were doing. It was so gross, and I wanted to touch every part of their bodies. Gavin: 4:23 Yeah. Well, so um, Navy SEALs definitely makes me think about like current events and people out there living their lives and not just uh thinking about going to the gym, which makes me think we need, we&#39;re here to educate and inform and let everybody know, gay, straight, or otherwise, that parenting is tough, but we love it. But also there&#39;s other shit going on in the world, and maybe we should talk about it so that we&#39;re well informed, all right? So I think we should be America&#39;s next finest news source. How do you think about that? David: 4:54 I would be very embarrassed if somebody claimed that Gatriarch&#39;s podcast was their source of news, but go on. Gavin: 5:00 Well, you might be less embarrassed to know a few things that I&#39;m gonna share with you, all right? And all of this probably sits under the category of Gavin. Everybody fucking knows that already, but I didn&#39;t know it. Maybe not, you know. Yeah. Did you know that Netflix soon has a documentary called American Circumcision coming out? No. Yes, it&#39;s by director Brendan Moroda. Now, it what I find it it questions why on earth is America so obsessed with circumcision, right? I mean, we know that the entire rest of the world does not do this, they don&#39;t take a scalpel to baby penises to circumcise. David: 5:34 And we had this conversation about our boys and how like we had to make that decision, and we, as circumcised people, spoiler alert, um, having to make the decision for our children. And it was just like really, it&#39;s a hard decision, and it feels so gross. And I&#39;m so glad I went with not doing it because I I did the same thing. I was like, why do we do this? Why do we do this? Gavin: 5:55 I took a class in college that was about the what was it? It was the uh anthrop, it was an anthropology class that was about like is um uh what shit, hold on. What was it about? It was a philosophy class on human rights. It was a human rights class, and we were talking about um FGM, female genital mutilation, which is another story entirely, right? Uh about uh people losing their human rights, or uh people meaning women. Um, but then we also talked about male circumcision. Is this a violation of human rights? And we went into the history of it, it was really fascinating. But in this documentary, they they question the idea that maybe circumcision leads to toxic masculinity because there&#39;s an idea that this excruciating thing that happens just after birth is immediately imprinted in our little baby brains about trauma related to our genitalia and that we have to overcome something that is so traumatic. David: 6:48 Kind of interesting, huh? It&#39;s it&#39;s really interesting. I mean, I don&#39;t relate because I have such a huge penis that like I don&#39;t even I have none of that, none of that garbage. You have you don&#39;t have to overcompensate for anything. No, but it is it is interesting. I mean, like it feels a little far-fetched that like a trauma that seated, but also something that if somebody was like, no, this is it, I&#39;m like, oh shit, maybe. Like, and yeah, why not? Yeah. Gavin: 7:09 Well, you&#39;re gonna have to look for that uh Netflix documentary coming out soon. And aren&#39;t you glad you learned about it here on Gatriarch? Um, in other gay news, I mean, I could go on and on because uh it&#39;s an easy rabbit hole to fall down. Um and uh New York City councilman Corey Johnson has introduced a bill earlier in this year um trying to change the way you can change your gender identity on your identification in New York City. Used to be that you have to prove that you had surgery that changed your gender identity. And he&#39;s saying, I don&#39;t think you should have to perform any kind of surgery to express your gender identity. So he&#39;s uh trying to change the way you were able to um change your identity in New York City, which I think is impressive and helpful. Yeah, totally. And um, I&#39;ve got oh so many more, but I&#39;m gonna leave it with one more. So much is about anti-trans legislation, which is obviously very sad. Yeah. But um shout out to our girl Billie Eilish, who&#39;s just cool. She got pissed recently with reporters on a red carpet uh because they focused entirely on a minute detail she shared in a variety interview that was about her gender, uh, excuse me, her sexual identity, where she said, I think girls are kind of cute. She didn&#39;t come out and say I&#39;m gay. She also didn&#39;t say she was straight, but of course, the American obsession with sexuality focused entirely on is she or isn&#39;t she? And she um posted on social media, thanks a lot for not asking me anything of substance. And uh, good for you, Billy. Yeah, and let me do one more. Okay. Um, two Florida teachers. Florida, David. I&#39;m sorry, is wrong. I don&#39;t even know what you&#39;re gonna say, but I&#39;m sorry. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yes, I do. I I entirely know that uh you&#39;re already apologizing. But in this case, there is a bright shining light because let&#39;s face it, Florida, I think I don&#39;t think of Florida as a bad place. I just think of it as it is uniquely weird because there&#39;s just a lot of weird shit that goes on there. But here&#39;s a bright shining light. You know, there&#39;s so much anti-trans gay legislation and don&#39;t say gay and wait, did I say anti-trans gay? Please delete that. Never. You know, there&#39;s so much um negative stuff going on uh in terms of sexuality and gender in the state, and uh particularly the anti- or the uh don&#39;t say gay uh legislation that was passed. But two Florida teachers have actually sued the Florida Department of Education because they say it&#39;s a violation of their rights that they can&#39;t identify the way they are meant to identify. And so they&#39;re you know taking it to the courts to say, fuck you, this is who I am, and it&#39;s my right to be able to express myself as a teacher who is educating um our youth. David: 9:52 So wait, if you can you say gay if you&#39;re singing like a vintage holiday song? I I I you know what? Gavin: 10:00 Maybe that is our in. We should go to the state of Florida and sue them to say, listen, I want to be merry and bright and gay or whatever. David: 10:09 Michael Bublet sang it, why can&#39;t I? See? That&#39;s what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 10:13 Exactly. Do you I wonder if uh Ron DeSantis is going to kind of try to charge Michael Bublet or some in his little kitten heels. David: 10:21 I can&#39;t. Gavin: 10:21 I can&#39;t with a kitten heels. Yes, yes. Anyway, that is uh the gay in the news. All right. Also in 2024, we have a new segment of Gatriarchs. Do you remember the theme song to this segment? What would you do? Do you know that song? David: 10:38 I have never heard it in my life. Okay, you sang it so many times last episode, and as I added, I have to listen to your your mouth all the time. Gavin: 10:47 As we talk about how we&#39;re nothing if not hypocrites, I swore to myself over the last week I was going to go find that song. And guess what? I did not do that. But we are still doing some what would you do? So David, what would you do? You insist that your kid eats something healthy along with a bunch of junk at a restaurant, okay? The kid is over-dramatizing the vegetable and is there. Basically, they will eat the vegetable, but then doesn&#39;t like the what eat the vegetable while they&#39;re eating it, and they barf in the restaurant. But you know that the vegetable is perfectly good, and before they eat drink that fucking milkshake, you are going to get those vegetables into that kid. What would you do? David: 11:36 I love how this segment has become Gavin went through something and he&#39;s feeling self- and he&#39;s feeling self-conscious about it. So he&#39;s gonna create an entire bit on our podcast so he can pretend to ask me if he did the right thing. Yes. So wait, so the the what would you do is you took your kid to a restaurant, you made them eat a vegetable and a milkshake, and they threw up. Gavin: 11:56 No, before the milkshake came, they barfed out the vegetable, but there were still the vegetables there, and you&#39;re like, no, you&#39;re gonna eat the vegetables before you have this milkshake. David: 12:04 No, see, I&#39;m not a monster that way. So if my kid threw up, dinner is over. Dinner&#39;s over for everyone because I&#39;m not gonna eat my chili cheese fries at staring at this little fucking pile of puke. No, dinner is over. Gavin: 12:16 Well, okay. This is one of the most embarrassing things I ever did as a parent. But the broccoli was drenched in soy sauce. And I even found that disgusting. But I thought if I can rinse this, oh my god, this makes me look like such a dick. Anyway, um, I knew that if I could uh get the broccoli without the soy sauce, that it would be fine. So after my kid gagged up the broccoli that had been drenched in soy sauce, I said, could I please get another order with no soy sauce? And even though my kid was like, no, no, no, no, no, I&#39;m not gonna do that, I cleaned up the bit of puke. It wasn&#39;t like, you know, it wasn&#39;t voluminous, it was barfing up a disgustingly soy sauced broccoli. Um, the my kid fought me on it, but did eventually eat the broccoli, and he has been traumatized ever since. And he brings it up. Remember that time I barfed in a restaurant, but I&#39;m like, but then you ate the broccoli and it was fine, and the milkshake was amazing. David: 13:19 Literally, CPS is on their way. Um that&#39;s what I would do, is CPS is on the way. You know what&#39;s not disgusting? Tell me. Our top three list. Ooh, Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week it&#39;s my list, and it&#39;s the top three ways you&#39;re making your kid weird. Yeah. Um, there&#39;s a lot of reasons. Gavin: 13:41 Yeah. So I know. I when I went when I thought about this, I&#39;m like, oh my God, so much of my parenting could be construed as making my kids weird. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. David: 13:54 All right. So, and number three for me is my kid likes to pretend he has long hair. Listen, he might be gay, he might be trans, I don&#39;t know, but for now, he likes to like wrap things around his head and pretend they&#39;re hair. And I just say, go for it. And so, not not, and I don&#39;t mean just in the house. I mean like, we&#39;ll go to Target. And he&#39;s wearing literally an ace bandage around his head, walking around the store. And I&#39;m just like, yeah, that&#39;s totally normal. So he thinks it&#39;s normal. Um, number two is I have a song for everything. I don&#39;t mean like a new song. I mean like when I dry him off after the...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son to ask about body parts, we rank the top 3 things we are doing as Dads to make our kids weird, and we are joined by former Uber exec and current CEO of Cofertility to discuss egg donation, super Mom powers, and why David is wr]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son to ask about body parts, we rank the top 3 things we are doing as Dads to make our kids weird, and we are joined by former Uber exec and current CEO of Cofertility to discuss egg donation, super Mom powers, and why David is wrong about most things. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:04 I gotta start a roll on this. Yeah. So stop. Stop. So stop. And this is Gatriotics. David: 0:25 So you know how you were saying sometimes just like walking with your kid is like when they start to open up and like, or you know, you&#39;re just basically not facing each other or they&#39;re driving in the car or whatever. One of the places that happens for me is when my kids are pooping. And my son needs somebody to sit there to witness his defecation. Oh, I love it. Yeah. I miss that. And it it&#39;s fun. It actually is ridiculous. Gavin: 0:49 I feel like I need hold on. I feel like I need to clarify. I miss those days where my kid wanted me to sit in the bathroom with them. I am not actually interested in defecation at all. Hey, if you&#39;re into it, stop it, Gavin. Never mind. Delete all of that. Nope, but my. My point is, I missed that. It was such a sweet time, but we are definitely private poopers now. David: 1:10 Anyway, back to you, David. We are not a private poop. We&#39;re not private anything. We want to tell everybody when we&#39;re pooping and farting and burping. Anyway, so it&#39;s it ends up being when we have the best kind of conversations. And the other day, he was like, What does it mean to die? And I was like, hello, Barbie. Okay, uh, four-year-old. Uh so we&#39;re talking about things, and then he goes, How do I breathe? I was like, Your lungs? He goes, What are lungs? And I explained them to him, and he was like, I want to see them. He always wants to see them. So I showed him like a drawing of lungs. And he&#39;s like, No, I want to see all the real ones. And I was like, and I was like, should I do it? I was like, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna fucking do it. So I Googled a picture of like human lungs and I showed them to him and I explained what they do, and he goes, Okay, okay. And then he goes, I want to see mine. I said, Well, you can&#39;t. You know, your skin covers all your organs, and you know he goes, and then he said, While he&#39;s pooping, looking right into my eyes, he goes, Can I take off my skin so I can look at my body? I said, No, you can&#39;t. That&#39;s fucking creepy, and stay away from me. Um, but yeah, we had a long, long talk about death and your lungs and can I take off my skin? Gavin: 2:15 Which was super I mean, death definitely hearten to downward spirals, and boy, those questions going to getting to the bottom of it. And just you wait, David. Eventually they don&#39;t ask those questions anymore, and they would rather you just die yourself. But wow, I&#39;m not quite there, not quite there, but we don&#39;t get the questions anymore, though. But how, but why, but why, but how? And it&#39;s um it&#39;s a good phase. David: 2:39 I can see how it will be good later looking back on it. And it&#39;s awful. And if I could take, but if I could just take it in 10 minute chunks, we I just had a conversation yesterday with our mutual friend who has a way more successful podcast than we do. And she was saying, like, she&#39;s feeling that thing that she was like, when I had a toddler, everyone told me, enjoy these moments, you&#39;re gonna miss them. And I always said I&#39;m too overwhelmed. And then now that I have a 14-year-old daughter, I miss those times, and it I well up with tears missing those times. And we we came to the same conclusion that we did a couple episodes ago, which was like the only solution is to be able to bottle it up, and you can. So you&#39;re just over, it&#39;s all at the same time and then never again. Gavin: 3:17 So it&#39;s all at the same time and never again, and also it&#39;s just all completely overwhelming, and we&#39;re all doing the best we can. And I don&#39;t know, just try to take a moment. Uh, it&#39;s easier said than done. But we&#39;re all doing the best we can. David: 3:29 You know who else is doing the best they can? Do tell. Are the Navy SEAL trainees at the gym? Gaven? Wait a minute, you have Navy SEALs at your gym. Gavin, I go to the gym by me and I do personal training, usually two or three times a week, and it&#39;s always the same people, right? There&#39;s the old man with a blue shirt, there&#39;s the woman who&#39;s really fit and she&#39;s in the corner. Like, I know all my people. It&#39;s always the same time. And recently, all of these really young guys have been there, and then the other day they were all working out together in the same shirts, and I asked my trainer, I was like, Who is that? He goes, Those are Navy SEAL recruits. So obviously, I spent the next three hours in the steam room waiting for them to join me. And it was like so weird that they didn&#39;t. Yeah, I know. But they were like doing hundreds of push-ups, hundreds of pull-ups in like 20 chunks, right? Like it was the amount of stuff that they were doing. It was so gross, and I wanted to touch every part of their bodies. Gavin: 4:23 Yeah. Well, so um, Navy SEALs definitely makes me think about like current events and people out there living their lives and not just uh thinking about going to the gym, which makes me think we need, we&#39;re here to educate and inform and let everybody know, gay, straight, or otherwise, that parenting is tough, but we love it. But also there&#39;s other shit going on in the world, and maybe we should talk about it so that we&#39;re well informed, all right? So I think we should be America&#39;s next finest news source. How do you think about that? David: 4:54 I would be very embarrassed if somebody claimed that Gatriarch&#39;s podcast was their source of news, but go on. Gavin: 5:00 Well, you might be less embarrassed to know a few things that I&#39;m gonna share with you, all right? And all of this probably sits under the category of Gavin. Everybody fucking knows that already, but I didn&#39;t know it. Maybe not, you know. Yeah. Did you know that Netflix soon has a documentary called American Circumcision coming out? No. Yes, it&#39;s by director Brendan Moroda. Now, it what I find it it questions why on earth is America so obsessed with circumcision, right? I mean, we know that the entire rest of the world does not do this, they don&#39;t take a scalpel to baby penises to circumcise. David: 5:34 And we had this conversation about our boys and how like we had to make that decision, and we, as circumcised people, spoiler alert, um, having to make the decision for our children. And it was just like really, it&#39;s a hard decision, and it feels so gross. And I&#39;m so glad I went with not doing it because I I did the same thing. I was like, why do we do this? Why do we do this? Gavin: 5:55 I took a class in college that was about the what was it? It was the uh anthrop, it was an anthropology class that was about like is um uh what shit, hold on. What was it about? It was a philosophy class on human rights. It was a human rights class, and we were talking about um FGM, female genital mutilation, which is another story entirely, right? Uh about uh people losing their human rights, or uh people meaning women. Um, but then we also talked about male circumcision. Is this a violation of human rights? And we went into the history of it, it was really fascinating. But in this documentary, they they question the idea that maybe circumcision leads to toxic masculinity because there&#39;s an idea that this excruciating thing that happens just after birth is immediately imprinted in our little baby brains about trauma related to our genitalia and that we have to overcome something that is so traumatic. David: 6:48 Kind of interesting, huh? It&#39;s it&#39;s really interesting. I mean, I don&#39;t relate because I have such a huge penis that like I don&#39;t even I have none of that, none of that garbage. You have you don&#39;t have to overcompensate for anything. No, but it is it is interesting. I mean, like it feels a little far-fetched that like a trauma that seated, but also something that if somebody was like, no, this is it, I&#39;m like, oh shit, maybe. Like, and yeah, why not? Yeah. Gavin: 7:09 Well, you&#39;re gonna have to look for that uh Netflix documentary coming out soon. And aren&#39;t you glad you learned about it here on Gatriarch? Um, in other gay news, I mean, I could go on and on because uh it&#39;s an easy rabbit hole to fall down. Um and uh New York City councilman Corey Johnson has introduced a bill earlier in this year um trying to change the way you can change your gender identity on your identification in New York City. Used to be that you have to prove that you had surgery that changed your gender identity. And he&#39;s saying, I don&#39;t think you should have to perform any kind of surgery to express your gender identity. So he&#39;s uh trying to change the way you were able to um change your identity in New York City, which I think is impressive and helpful. Yeah, totally. And um, I&#39;ve got oh so many more, but I&#39;m gonna leave it with one more. So much is about anti-trans legislation, which is obviously very sad. Yeah. But um shout out to our girl Billie Eilish, who&#39;s just cool. She got pissed recently with reporters on a red carpet uh because they focused entirely on a minute detail she shared in a variety interview that was about her gender, uh, excuse me, her sexual identity, where she said, I think girls are kind of cute. She didn&#39;t come out and say I&#39;m gay. She also didn&#39;t say she was straight, but of course, the American obsession with sexuality focused entirely on is she or isn&#39;t she? And she um posted on social media, thanks a lot for not asking me anything of substance. And uh, good for you, Billy. Yeah, and let me do one more. Okay. Um, two Florida teachers. Florida, David. I&#39;m sorry, is wrong. I don&#39;t even know what you&#39;re gonna say, but I&#39;m sorry. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yes, I do. I I entirely know that uh you&#39;re already apologizing. But in this case, there is a bright shining light because let&#39;s face it, Florida, I think I don&#39;t think of Florida as a bad place. I just think of it as it is uniquely weird because there&#39;s just a lot of weird shit that goes on there. But here&#39;s a bright shining light. You know, there&#39;s so much anti-trans gay legislation and don&#39;t say gay and wait, did I say anti-trans gay? Please delete that. Never. You know, there&#39;s so much um negative stuff going on uh in terms of sexuality and gender in the state, and uh particularly the anti- or the uh don&#39;t say gay uh legislation that was passed. But two Florida teachers have actually sued the Florida Department of Education because they say it&#39;s a violation of their rights that they can&#39;t identify the way they are meant to identify. And so they&#39;re you know taking it to the courts to say, fuck you, this is who I am, and it&#39;s my right to be able to express myself as a teacher who is educating um our youth. David: 9:52 So wait, if you can you say gay if you&#39;re singing like a vintage holiday song? I I I you know what? Gavin: 10:00 Maybe that is our in. We should go to the state of Florida and sue them to say, listen, I want to be merry and bright and gay or whatever. David: 10:09 Michael Bublet sang it, why can&#39;t I? See? That&#39;s what I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 10:13 Exactly. Do you I wonder if uh Ron DeSantis is going to kind of try to charge Michael Bublet or some in his little kitten heels. David: 10:21 I can&#39;t. Gavin: 10:21 I can&#39;t with a kitten heels. Yes, yes. Anyway, that is uh the gay in the news. All right. Also in 2024, we have a new segment of Gatriarchs. Do you remember the theme song to this segment? What would you do? Do you know that song? David: 10:38 I have never heard it in my life. Okay, you sang it so many times last episode, and as I added, I have to listen to your your mouth all the time. Gavin: 10:47 As we talk about how we&#39;re nothing if not hypocrites, I swore to myself over the last week I was going to go find that song. And guess what? I did not do that. But we are still doing some what would you do? So David, what would you do? You insist that your kid eats something healthy along with a bunch of junk at a restaurant, okay? The kid is over-dramatizing the vegetable and is there. Basically, they will eat the vegetable, but then doesn&#39;t like the what eat the vegetable while they&#39;re eating it, and they barf in the restaurant. But you know that the vegetable is perfectly good, and before they eat drink that fucking milkshake, you are going to get those vegetables into that kid. What would you do? David: 11:36 I love how this segment has become Gavin went through something and he&#39;s feeling self- and he&#39;s feeling self-conscious about it. So he&#39;s gonna create an entire bit on our podcast so he can pretend to ask me if he did the right thing. Yes. So wait, so the the what would you do is you took your kid to a restaurant, you made them eat a vegetable and a milkshake, and they threw up. Gavin: 11:56 No, before the milkshake came, they barfed out the vegetable, but there were still the vegetables there, and you&#39;re like, no, you&#39;re gonna eat the vegetables before you have this milkshake. David: 12:04 No, see, I&#39;m not a monster that way. So if my kid threw up, dinner is over. Dinner&#39;s over for everyone because I&#39;m not gonna eat my chili cheese fries at staring at this little fucking pile of puke. No, dinner is over. Gavin: 12:16 Well, okay. This is one of the most embarrassing things I ever did as a parent. But the broccoli was drenched in soy sauce. And I even found that disgusting. But I thought if I can rinse this, oh my god, this makes me look like such a dick. Anyway, um, I knew that if I could uh get the broccoli without the soy sauce, that it would be fine. So after my kid gagged up the broccoli that had been drenched in soy sauce, I said, could I please get another order with no soy sauce? And even though my kid was like, no, no, no, no, no, I&#39;m not gonna do that, I cleaned up the bit of puke. It wasn&#39;t like, you know, it wasn&#39;t voluminous, it was barfing up a disgustingly soy sauced broccoli. Um, the my kid fought me on it, but did eventually eat the broccoli, and he has been traumatized ever since. And he brings it up. Remember that time I barfed in a restaurant, but I&#39;m like, but then you ate the broccoli and it was fine, and the milkshake was amazing. David: 13:19 Literally, CPS is on their way. Um that&#39;s what I would do, is CPS is on the way. You know what&#39;s not disgusting? Tell me. Our top three list. Ooh, Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. So this week it&#39;s my list, and it&#39;s the top three ways you&#39;re making your kid weird. Yeah. Um, there&#39;s a lot of reasons. Gavin: 13:41 Yeah. So I know. I when I went when I thought about this, I&#39;m like, oh my God, so much of my parenting could be construed as making my kids weird. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. David: 13:54 All right. So, and number three for me is my kid likes to pretend he has long hair. Listen, he might be gay, he might be trans, I don&#39;t know, but for now, he likes to like wrap things around his head and pretend they&#39;re hair. And I just say, go for it. And so, not not, and I don&#39;t mean just in the house. I mean like, we&#39;ll go to Target. And he&#39;s wearing literally an ace bandage around his head, walking around the store. And I&#39;m just like, yeah, that&#39;s totally normal. So he thinks it&#39;s normal. Um, number two is I have a song for everything. I don&#39;t mean like a new song. I mean like when I dry him off after the...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son to ask about body parts, we rank the top 3 things we are doing as Dads to make our kids weird, and we are joined by former Uber exec and current CEO of Cofertility to discuss egg donation, super Mom powers, and why David is wrong about most things. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:04 I gotta start a roll on this. Yeah. So stop. Stop. So stop. And this is Gatriotics. David: 0:25 So you know how you were saying sometimes just like walking with your kid is like when they start to open up and like, or you know, you&#39;re just basically not facing each other or they&#39;re driving in the car or whatever. One of the places that happens for me is when my kids are pooping. And my son needs somebody to sit there to witness his defecation. Oh, I love it. Yeah. I miss that. And it it&#39;s fun. It actually is ridiculous. Gavin: 0:49 I feel like I need hold on. I feel like I need to clarify. I miss those days where my kid wanted me to sit in the bathroom with them. I am not actually interested in defecation at all. Hey, if you&#39;re into it, stop it, Gavin. Never mind. Delete all of that. Nope, but my. My point is, I missed that. It was such a sweet time, but we are definitely private poopers now. David: 1:10 Anyway, back to you, David. We are not a private poop. We&#39;re not private anything. We want to tell everybody when we&#39;re pooping and farting and burping. Anyway, so it&#39;s it ends up being when we have the best kind of conversations. And the other day, he was like, What does it mean to die? And I was like, hello, Barbie. Okay, uh, four-year-old. Uh so we&#39;re talking about things, and then he goes, How do I breathe? I was like, Your lungs? He goes, What are lungs? And I explained them to him, and he was like, I want to see them. He always wants to see them. So I showed him like a drawing of lungs. And he&#39;s like, No, I want to see all the real ones. And I was like, and I was like, should I do it? I was like, Yeah, I&#39;m gonna fucking do it. So I Googled a picture of like human lungs and I showed them to him and I explained what they do, and he goes, Okay, okay. And then he goes, I want to see mine. I said, Well, you can&#39;t. You know, your skin covers all your organs, and you know he goes, and then he said, While he&#39;s pooping, looking right into my eyes, he goes, Can I take off my skin so I can look at my body? I said, No, you can&#39;t. That&#39;s fucking creepy, and stay away from me. Um, but yeah, we had a long, long talk about death and your lungs and can I take off my skin? Gavin: 2:15 Which was super I mean, death definitely hearten to downward spirals, and boy, those questions going to getting to the bottom of it. And just you wait, David. Eventually they don&#39;t ask those questions anymore, and they would rather you just die yourself. But wow, I&#39;m not quite there, not quite there, but we don&#39;t get the questions anymore, though. But how, but why, but why, but how? And it&#39;s um it&#39;s a good phase. David: 2:39 I can see how it will be good later looking back on it. And it&#39;s awful. And if I could take, but if I could just take it in 10 minute chunks, we I just had a conversation yesterday with our mutual friend who has a way more successful podcast than we do. And she was saying, like, she&#39;s feeling that thing that she was like, when I had a toddler, everyone told me, enjoy these moments, you&#39;re gonna miss them. And I always said I&#39;m too overwhelmed. And then now that I have a 14-year-old daughter, I miss those times, and it I well up with tears missing those times. And we we came to the same conclusion that we did a couple episodes ago, which was like the only solution is to be able to bottle it up, and you can. So you&#39;re just over, it&#39;s all at the same time and then never again. Gavin: 3:17 So it&#39;s all at the same]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son to ask about body parts, we rank the top 3 things we are doing as Dads to make our kids weird, and we are joined by former Uber exec and current CEO of Cofertility to discuss egg donation, super Mom powers, and why David is wrong about most things. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:04 I gotta start a roll on this. Yeah. So stop. Stop. So stop. And this is Gatriotics. David: 0:25 So you know how you were saying sometimes just like walking with your kid is like when they start to open up and like, or you know, you&#39;re just basically not facing each other or they&#39;re driving in the car or whatever. One of the places that happens for me is when my kids are pooping. And my son needs somebody to sit there to witness his defecation. Oh, I love it. Yeah. I miss that. And it it&#39;s fun. It actually is ridiculous. Gavin: 0:49 I feel like I n]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Erik Weihenmayer</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-erik-weihenmayer/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jan 2024 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s 2024! A new year, a new us. Except exactly the same with zero  personal or professional growth whatsoever. This week, we recount our holidays, Gavin asks me to play a game, we rank the top 3 New Years resolutions that we will in no way do, and our guest this week is Erik Weihenmayer, a legend in so many ways, who joins us to talk extreme mountain climbing,  world record setting, and the gaydar-gone-wrong video that changed his life forever.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Right after the break, we&#39;re gonna interview Eric Wyhein Mayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he&#39;s gay. I mean, he&#39;s gay, excuse me, he&#39;s blind. David: 0:10 And this is Gatriarchs. It&#39;s 2024. Hi. Gavin: 0:28 20 a new year, new me, new everything. Oh my god. I mean, 2023 wasn&#39;t bad, was it? I mean, hey, man, we created a podcast in 2023. David: 0:40 We created a podcast that we monetized. And if you don&#39;t, I know I think I might have posted this on my personal stories, but I should post it on the Gaterix. Uh, we made our first income in 2023, and it was drumroll 49 cents. 49 cents this podcast has gotten us. Gavin: 1:03 So we&#39;re realizing the dream, which was let&#39;s start a podcast to become millionaires within two years. That was the whole invention, right? David: 1:13 And it happened. Gavin: 1:14 It will have happened. This time next year, it&#39;ll be uh 49 million. David: 1:19 Oh, all right. That sounds good. Um anyway, it&#39;s 2024, it&#39;s a new year, it&#39;s a new year. Us, it&#39;s the first new episode. We know you guys have been listening to some of our throwbacks to our favorite guests, but we are eager to be back in the chat. Gavin: 1:30 It was fun to go back and listen to those, huh? David: 1:31 From our forgotten a lot about us, a lot of our conversations today. We were babies, our mics were different, our lighting was different. We didn&#39;t know what the fuck we were doing. We still don&#39;t really know what the fuck we&#39;re doing. Gavin: 1:42 Nope. David: 1:43 Um, before we dive in, I wanted to just kind of do a holiday roundup because I feel like the holidays happen and we weren&#39;t on the air at the time, and all the things happen. And I just feel like there&#39;s always interesting stories to talk about, um, especially when it comes to kids. My son had a Christmas concert at his daycare, and it&#39;s very cute. It&#39;s all these preschool kids barely trying, not really singing, the teacher in the front trying to do the moves. It&#39;s that thing. Gavin: 2:07 Funny enough, I was at almost exactly the same Christmas concert, but with middle schoolers, and believe me, the level of chaos was pretty much identical to a preschool. David: 2:16 And also, like the teacher who&#39;s like leading it, you can tell secretly has always wanted to be on Broadway. Do you know what I mean? There&#39;s a little bit of vibe there. Anyway, so they do that, they have these like three levels of risers, and they&#39;re doing this. They&#39;re I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Oh my son is in the top row, and he&#39;s like, you know, dancing around and he&#39;s doing really good. He&#39;s clearly the child of gay parents. That&#39;s all I&#39;m gonna say. He is performing at a Broadway level, and then they&#39;re supposed to walk around their chairs to like do something. There&#39;s no backing to this riser. It&#39;s like those chorus risers, and it just plummets. He just disappears. Disappears. And everyone kind of gasps. I jump up, I run back there. He&#39;s on the ground, he&#39;s crying. Cut to the cut to the chase, he&#39;s fine, everyone. This is does not end in like a hospital stay. But it was just like the drama of of all of this. And then so I take them and I&#39;m like, Do you want to keep going? And he&#39;s crying, he&#39;s like, Yes. So then I like sit with him on stage. So now I&#39;m in the spotlight. SPEAKER_03: 3:16 So now I&#39;m ready to perform motherfuckers. She is. David: 3:19 Yes, she is. It&#39;s it&#39;s David Fm Bond, the 44-year-old, surrounded by three and four-year-olds. And um, anyway, everyone was very sweet. Everyone came came up to us, like, is he okay? Is he okay? And he was just very he was clearly embarrassed more than he was physically hurt. But I have on video my child dancing, and then just he&#39;s not there anymore. Just fucking David blanded out of the way. Gavin: 3:41 My partner lives for the Macy&#39;s parade in the hope that somebody&#39;s gonna trip, especially in marching bands, or also some video that was viral 105 years ago about like a uh a holiday concert where some actually older person was there and then suddenly wasn&#39;t, and it was on the Today Show. And man, he just laughs and laughs and laughs about it, which is terrible, but that&#39;s why we have a podcast to talk about what terrible people we are. David: 4:08 I remember there was a Macy&#39;s parade that um one of the raquettes just turned the wrong direction, and you can just see in her face be like, This is my legacy. This right here. This pivot step the wrong direction, my legacy. Gavin: 4:22 But you&#39;re forever. I mean, that&#39;s that&#39;s a claim to fame. I don&#39;t think that&#39;s such a bad thing. David: 4:26 It&#39;s like that one dancer in chorus line, the original movie, at the very, very, very, very end when the camera&#39;s backing out and they&#39;re all doing the just the step kicks, stops one count early. Do you know this? Have you watched this? Watch it at the very, very, very end. You it&#39;s barely in frame, but he stops one count before everyone else. And you know his butt. And I&#39;m like, why did you not just reshoot it? Gavin: 4:49 Right. Uh that that&#39;s the kind of thing that should we should drop into our non-existent show notes, I think. I would love a little bit more. Yeah, 2024, still no show notes. Maybe 2025. Let&#39;s aim for let&#39;s aim high. Um, we had an interesting holiday season as uh my kids are of an age where they want to believe in all the magic, and they are at the same time their own level of, you know, they&#39;re wanting to believe. They&#39;re they are in the magic of believing phase and they are forcing the magic still, which is kind of sweet. You know, they want to go along with it all. But our elf on the shelf, when that when ginger, our our um gender non-conforming elf on the shelf wouldn&#39;t move, they kind of were just like, okay, that&#39;s fine. David: 5:33 Uh how do you put ginger the elf on the shelf&#39;s pronouns, right? But not most of our guests. I want to know why. I want to know why gave it. Gavin: 5:40 Well, listen, I I fuck them up all the time because our elf on the shelf uses they, them pronouns, and I say she all the time. David: 5:45 But my kids lead me with saying that ginger is she, even though clearly we have a non-binary uh, but is it like is it like you&#39;re saying she, not in a gendered way, but in a like old-timey pirate talking about his boat kind of way? Gavin: 6:02 No, we have had it&#39;s funny. This let&#39;s bring this up next December, December of 2024. The reason we have a non-binary um elf, but I wanted to have a unique elf. Um, so I wrote Santa to have the right kind of unique elf sent. I mean, there&#39;s children listening to this podcast. No, they&#39;re not. Okay, never mind. I went to Barnes and Noble. So we&#39;re in a lot of trouble. I went to Barnes and Noble years ago. The only elves they had were a bunch of little white boys with blue eye elves, right? And I thought, oh, this is really basic. And I thought, you know what, I want to spice it up a little bit. So I got a little skirt for our blue-eyed boy. And I um the elf appears, and uh my kids, one of my daughter says, What is her name? What&#39;s her name? What&#39;s her name? Or no, no, I think it was what&#39;s whatever. She gendered the elf right away, even though it was a short-haired boy with a skirt. And I said, Well, maybe it&#39;s not a I don&#39;t know, maybe it&#39;s a boy, maybe it&#39;s a girl. I mean, short hair, skirt, like, I don&#39;t know, those things can go to together. And my son, who was at the time in kindergarten, so he was four or five, he goes, Maybe it&#39;s a transginger elf. David: 7:11 So transgender. Wow. Gavin: 7:13 Or transgender elf. So our elf&#39;s name was then transginger jingle. Those are the most delicious fats, are the transgender ones. That is adorable. I know, isn&#39;t it? I mean, it was very progressive, wasn&#39;t it? And so that is why we have a um uh a trans elf, and I fuck up ginger&#39;s pronouns all the time. Although, you know what? They never tell me, they never correct me. I mean, it is my job to listen, but literally, my elf has yet to find their voice and let me know exactly what their pronouns are, but I try to aim for they, them, which usually means I say, Well, she, they are up on up in the bathroom today. Did you notice that she, they are on the bookcase now? David: 7:55 This is the indoctrination at work, everyone. This is how the gays make more gays. This is the agenda. Gavin: 8:03 Listen, we started this podcast because we want to be able to let people know they&#39;re not alone and that parenting is a real struggle and that sometimes we think we you and I have such huge egos that we gave ourselves a platform to basically dole out advice and cynicism, right? I think another level of advice was I want to discuss with you what would you do. Let&#39;s have some scenarios, and I want to hear what you would do in a certain scenario, okay? David: 8:27 I imagine every day that what would you do segment on 2020 happening to me. So when something weird happens to me in public, I immediately think there&#39;s cameras on me. That&#39;s the only way I do the right thing. Gavin: 8:37 Yeah. Okay. Also, also, this reminds me, my partner, for some reason, and I don&#39;t know if it has to do with a song from a musical or what. I mean, most likely it&#39;s a song from a musical. Do you know some song that goes, What would you do? Something like that. David: 8:50 Well, whenever eight Broadway shows everyone. Gavin: 8:54 So he um he uh whenever he hears the term what would you do, he sings it like that. So we might have to have have him make an appearance on the podcast and record something for us. Leading into the what would you do segment. Anyway, David, scenario number one. What would you do? Uh your kid says in the morning, I don&#39;t feel good. I want to stay home from school. But you know they are perfectly fine, no fever, no sickness, no nothing. What would you do? They go to school. That&#39;s easy. Plain and simple. David: 9:25 Yeah. Honestly, you didn&#39;t even need to add that they&#39;re not really sick part. Right. If I have shit to do, they&#39;re going to school. Okay. I&#39;m filling them with Tylenol, I&#39;m pushing them into the school. Gavin: 9:34 We&#39;ve definitely talked about this before. Uh in my and so I wanted to lead off with an easy one. But I have to say, um, eventually, if I think, okay, I can deal with you being at home today, but you realize that this is not a day that you&#39;re gonna sit home and watch TV the entire time, right? I make sick days as miserable as possible. The TV doesn&#39;t go on until frankly after school. Okay, I always break down and by noon the TV is on probably for a while. But I&#39;m like, okay, then if you&#39;re sick, then I understand you need to stay home and you&#39;re gonna lay in bed and read books the entire time. David: 10:03 I think it&#39;s because my point of view is from a dad of a four-year-old and a not even two-year-old. But maybe with older kids I&#39;d feel differently. But no, you&#39;re going to fucking school. Gavin: 10:10 It&#39;s gonna be and it&#39;s gonna be miserable uh if you stay home and then you&#39;re not gonna want to stay home again. Okay. Scenario two. What did you do? Your partner listens to you complain about what a monster your kid was all day long. And their response is, I mean, maybe you should just like make things more fun. How do you respond? David: 10:34 Um, well, uh, some they&#39;re about to catch my hands because I&#39;m going to jail. No. Um I it&#39;s so funny. I would my my husband could never say that because my immediate thought was$3.99 divorce. Immediate. I&#39;m like, fuck off. Are you kidding me? Fuck you. I think if you&#39;ve done parenting long enough with your partner, you both know how fucking hard it is to do all the things. And even though you might have that instinct of like, well, why don&#39;t you just you know in the back of your mind you&#39;re like, no, no, no, no. It&#39;s never gonna go well. That&#39;s never gonna go well. It&#39;s not a good suggestion, and also it&#39;s just gonna piss everyone off. So um, if they said that I would divorce them immediately and start dating Chris Pratt. Gavin: 11:18 Well, I mean, but what if Chris Pratt says it to you? David: 11:21 That&#39;s perfectly fine. He can say whatever&#39;s rich and beautiful, yeah. Yeah, you can say it to me. Gavin: 11:26 Okay. Um, that this actual situation happened to me many times back in the day, and uh yeah, it never went well, but I would have to leave the room or um or yeah, I mean, I think plain and simple, it&#39;s just leave the room and just think about what you&#39;ve just said because man, at home all day long parenting, it&#39;s the hardest job on the planet. So uh don&#39;t tell me to make things just more fun. Okay, finally, another parent texts you that your kid kicked their kid at the playground, but you have it on good authority that their kid is the aggressor and in all situations usually the asshole. Plus, the parent is a total asshole. What would you do? David: 12:00 So there&#39;s two rounds of the answer. The first round is the first thing I would do, which is I would make some sort of light joke like, man, so sorry about that. Kids are assholes, right? Ha ha ha. And test the temperature of the other parent. Do they go, yeah, my kid&#39;s not perfect either? So I know that like they get it. And then, or if they&#39;re like, well, just you know, whatever. And then the second, if it, if if their kid does something a second time and they were the asshole, I would bring it up to them immediately. But the first time I would lean in with a joke and test the waters and be like, are you like cool or are you just being a psychopath? Because if you&#39;re a psychopath, then I&#39;m gonna make your life a living hell. And every time your kid sneezes wrong, I&#39;m gonna tell the front desk. Gavin: 12:44 Oh, nice. But you go to the authorities and you go. David: 12:47 Oh no, I do the cowardly way. Gavin: 12:48 I let them do it. unknown: 12:49 Yeah. Gavin: 12:50 All right. Well, I hope that that was helpful for everybody because I don&#39;t want to have that scenario to come to me whatsoever, and I don&#39;t want to deal with it because I just want to hide from um confrontation. But um, thank you. Absolutely. And now I know what would you do. David: 13:03 That&#39;s really that&#39;s that&#39;s those are some golden pipes of yours, Gavin. But we also have a recording of your golden pipes for our top three list. Gavin: 13:12 Gatriarch&#39;s top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:16 Uh, it gets better and better every time. Um, so uh we initially in what November when we last had our live episode, um, had a top three list for January. And what did we do? We scrapped it. Come at a meeting and we were like, fuck that. We&#39;re gonna do something different. Yeah so tell us what our top three list is this week, Gavin. Gavin: 13:35 Today&#39;s top three list is three parenting resolutions you&#39;re sure you&#39;re gonna break. Okay. And uh let me start, shall I? Parenting resolution number three that I am certain to break is not bending to the more TikTok time in the afternoon until all of the chores are done. This is so basic. I&#39;m not sure if it&#39;s even funny, but it every single day I think to myself, I&#39;m not gonna give extra TikTok time until I know...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s 2024! A new year, a new us. Except exactly the same with zero  personal or professional growth whatsoever. This week, we recount our holidays, Gavin asks me to play a game, we rank the top 3 New Years resolutions that we will in no way do, and ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s 2024! A new year, a new us. Except exactly the same with zero  personal or professional growth whatsoever. This week, we recount our holidays, Gavin asks me to play a game, we rank the top 3 New Years resolutions that we will in no way do, and our guest this week is Erik Weihenmayer, a legend in so many ways, who joins us to talk extreme mountain climbing,  world record setting, and the gaydar-gone-wrong video that changed his life forever.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Right after the break, we&#39;re gonna interview Eric Wyhein Mayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he&#39;s gay. I mean, he&#39;s gay, excuse me, he&#39;s blind. David: 0:10 And this is Gatriarchs. It&#39;s 2024. Hi. Gavin: 0:28 20 a new year, new me, new everything. Oh my god. I mean, 2023 wasn&#39;t bad, was it? I mean, hey, man, we created a podcast in 2023. David: 0:40 We created a podcast that we monetized. And if you don&#39;t, I know I think I might have posted this on my personal stories, but I should post it on the Gaterix. Uh, we made our first income in 2023, and it was drumroll 49 cents. 49 cents this podcast has gotten us. Gavin: 1:03 So we&#39;re realizing the dream, which was let&#39;s start a podcast to become millionaires within two years. That was the whole invention, right? David: 1:13 And it happened. Gavin: 1:14 It will have happened. This time next year, it&#39;ll be uh 49 million. David: 1:19 Oh, all right. That sounds good. Um anyway, it&#39;s 2024, it&#39;s a new year, it&#39;s a new year. Us, it&#39;s the first new episode. We know you guys have been listening to some of our throwbacks to our favorite guests, but we are eager to be back in the chat. Gavin: 1:30 It was fun to go back and listen to those, huh? David: 1:31 From our forgotten a lot about us, a lot of our conversations today. We were babies, our mics were different, our lighting was different. We didn&#39;t know what the fuck we were doing. We still don&#39;t really know what the fuck we&#39;re doing. Gavin: 1:42 Nope. David: 1:43 Um, before we dive in, I wanted to just kind of do a holiday roundup because I feel like the holidays happen and we weren&#39;t on the air at the time, and all the things happen. And I just feel like there&#39;s always interesting stories to talk about, um, especially when it comes to kids. My son had a Christmas concert at his daycare, and it&#39;s very cute. It&#39;s all these preschool kids barely trying, not really singing, the teacher in the front trying to do the moves. It&#39;s that thing. Gavin: 2:07 Funny enough, I was at almost exactly the same Christmas concert, but with middle schoolers, and believe me, the level of chaos was pretty much identical to a preschool. David: 2:16 And also, like the teacher who&#39;s like leading it, you can tell secretly has always wanted to be on Broadway. Do you know what I mean? There&#39;s a little bit of vibe there. Anyway, so they do that, they have these like three levels of risers, and they&#39;re doing this. They&#39;re I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Oh my son is in the top row, and he&#39;s like, you know, dancing around and he&#39;s doing really good. He&#39;s clearly the child of gay parents. That&#39;s all I&#39;m gonna say. He is performing at a Broadway level, and then they&#39;re supposed to walk around their chairs to like do something. There&#39;s no backing to this riser. It&#39;s like those chorus risers, and it just plummets. He just disappears. Disappears. And everyone kind of gasps. I jump up, I run back there. He&#39;s on the ground, he&#39;s crying. Cut to the cut to the chase, he&#39;s fine, everyone. This is does not end in like a hospital stay. But it was just like the drama of of all of this. And then so I take them and I&#39;m like, Do you want to keep going? And he&#39;s crying, he&#39;s like, Yes. So then I like sit with him on stage. So now I&#39;m in the spotlight. SPEAKER_03: 3:16 So now I&#39;m ready to perform motherfuckers. She is. David: 3:19 Yes, she is. It&#39;s it&#39;s David Fm Bond, the 44-year-old, surrounded by three and four-year-olds. And um, anyway, everyone was very sweet. Everyone came came up to us, like, is he okay? Is he okay? And he was just very he was clearly embarrassed more than he was physically hurt. But I have on video my child dancing, and then just he&#39;s not there anymore. Just fucking David blanded out of the way. Gavin: 3:41 My partner lives for the Macy&#39;s parade in the hope that somebody&#39;s gonna trip, especially in marching bands, or also some video that was viral 105 years ago about like a uh a holiday concert where some actually older person was there and then suddenly wasn&#39;t, and it was on the Today Show. And man, he just laughs and laughs and laughs about it, which is terrible, but that&#39;s why we have a podcast to talk about what terrible people we are. David: 4:08 I remember there was a Macy&#39;s parade that um one of the raquettes just turned the wrong direction, and you can just see in her face be like, This is my legacy. This right here. This pivot step the wrong direction, my legacy. Gavin: 4:22 But you&#39;re forever. I mean, that&#39;s that&#39;s a claim to fame. I don&#39;t think that&#39;s such a bad thing. David: 4:26 It&#39;s like that one dancer in chorus line, the original movie, at the very, very, very, very end when the camera&#39;s backing out and they&#39;re all doing the just the step kicks, stops one count early. Do you know this? Have you watched this? Watch it at the very, very, very end. You it&#39;s barely in frame, but he stops one count before everyone else. And you know his butt. And I&#39;m like, why did you not just reshoot it? Gavin: 4:49 Right. Uh that that&#39;s the kind of thing that should we should drop into our non-existent show notes, I think. I would love a little bit more. Yeah, 2024, still no show notes. Maybe 2025. Let&#39;s aim for let&#39;s aim high. Um, we had an interesting holiday season as uh my kids are of an age where they want to believe in all the magic, and they are at the same time their own level of, you know, they&#39;re wanting to believe. They&#39;re they are in the magic of believing phase and they are forcing the magic still, which is kind of sweet. You know, they want to go along with it all. But our elf on the shelf, when that when ginger, our our um gender non-conforming elf on the shelf wouldn&#39;t move, they kind of were just like, okay, that&#39;s fine. David: 5:33 Uh how do you put ginger the elf on the shelf&#39;s pronouns, right? But not most of our guests. I want to know why. I want to know why gave it. Gavin: 5:40 Well, listen, I I fuck them up all the time because our elf on the shelf uses they, them pronouns, and I say she all the time. David: 5:45 But my kids lead me with saying that ginger is she, even though clearly we have a non-binary uh, but is it like is it like you&#39;re saying she, not in a gendered way, but in a like old-timey pirate talking about his boat kind of way? Gavin: 6:02 No, we have had it&#39;s funny. This let&#39;s bring this up next December, December of 2024. The reason we have a non-binary um elf, but I wanted to have a unique elf. Um, so I wrote Santa to have the right kind of unique elf sent. I mean, there&#39;s children listening to this podcast. No, they&#39;re not. Okay, never mind. I went to Barnes and Noble. So we&#39;re in a lot of trouble. I went to Barnes and Noble years ago. The only elves they had were a bunch of little white boys with blue eye elves, right? And I thought, oh, this is really basic. And I thought, you know what, I want to spice it up a little bit. So I got a little skirt for our blue-eyed boy. And I um the elf appears, and uh my kids, one of my daughter says, What is her name? What&#39;s her name? What&#39;s her name? Or no, no, I think it was what&#39;s whatever. She gendered the elf right away, even though it was a short-haired boy with a skirt. And I said, Well, maybe it&#39;s not a I don&#39;t know, maybe it&#39;s a boy, maybe it&#39;s a girl. I mean, short hair, skirt, like, I don&#39;t know, those things can go to together. And my son, who was at the time in kindergarten, so he was four or five, he goes, Maybe it&#39;s a transginger elf. David: 7:11 So transgender. Wow. Gavin: 7:13 Or transgender elf. So our elf&#39;s name was then transginger jingle. Those are the most delicious fats, are the transgender ones. That is adorable. I know, isn&#39;t it? I mean, it was very progressive, wasn&#39;t it? And so that is why we have a um uh a trans elf, and I fuck up ginger&#39;s pronouns all the time. Although, you know what? They never tell me, they never correct me. I mean, it is my job to listen, but literally, my elf has yet to find their voice and let me know exactly what their pronouns are, but I try to aim for they, them, which usually means I say, Well, she, they are up on up in the bathroom today. Did you notice that she, they are on the bookcase now? David: 7:55 This is the indoctrination at work, everyone. This is how the gays make more gays. This is the agenda. Gavin: 8:03 Listen, we started this podcast because we want to be able to let people know they&#39;re not alone and that parenting is a real struggle and that sometimes we think we you and I have such huge egos that we gave ourselves a platform to basically dole out advice and cynicism, right? I think another level of advice was I want to discuss with you what would you do. Let&#39;s have some scenarios, and I want to hear what you would do in a certain scenario, okay? David: 8:27 I imagine every day that what would you do segment on 2020 happening to me. So when something weird happens to me in public, I immediately think there&#39;s cameras on me. That&#39;s the only way I do the right thing. Gavin: 8:37 Yeah. Okay. Also, also, this reminds me, my partner, for some reason, and I don&#39;t know if it has to do with a song from a musical or what. I mean, most likely it&#39;s a song from a musical. Do you know some song that goes, What would you do? Something like that. David: 8:50 Well, whenever eight Broadway shows everyone. Gavin: 8:54 So he um he uh whenever he hears the term what would you do, he sings it like that. So we might have to have have him make an appearance on the podcast and record something for us. Leading into the what would you do segment. Anyway, David, scenario number one. What would you do? Uh your kid says in the morning, I don&#39;t feel good. I want to stay home from school. But you know they are perfectly fine, no fever, no sickness, no nothing. What would you do? They go to school. That&#39;s easy. Plain and simple. David: 9:25 Yeah. Honestly, you didn&#39;t even need to add that they&#39;re not really sick part. Right. If I have shit to do, they&#39;re going to school. Okay. I&#39;m filling them with Tylenol, I&#39;m pushing them into the school. Gavin: 9:34 We&#39;ve definitely talked about this before. Uh in my and so I wanted to lead off with an easy one. But I have to say, um, eventually, if I think, okay, I can deal with you being at home today, but you realize that this is not a day that you&#39;re gonna sit home and watch TV the entire time, right? I make sick days as miserable as possible. The TV doesn&#39;t go on until frankly after school. Okay, I always break down and by noon the TV is on probably for a while. But I&#39;m like, okay, then if you&#39;re sick, then I understand you need to stay home and you&#39;re gonna lay in bed and read books the entire time. David: 10:03 I think it&#39;s because my point of view is from a dad of a four-year-old and a not even two-year-old. But maybe with older kids I&#39;d feel differently. But no, you&#39;re going to fucking school. Gavin: 10:10 It&#39;s gonna be and it&#39;s gonna be miserable uh if you stay home and then you&#39;re not gonna want to stay home again. Okay. Scenario two. What did you do? Your partner listens to you complain about what a monster your kid was all day long. And their response is, I mean, maybe you should just like make things more fun. How do you respond? David: 10:34 Um, well, uh, some they&#39;re about to catch my hands because I&#39;m going to jail. No. Um I it&#39;s so funny. I would my my husband could never say that because my immediate thought was$3.99 divorce. Immediate. I&#39;m like, fuck off. Are you kidding me? Fuck you. I think if you&#39;ve done parenting long enough with your partner, you both know how fucking hard it is to do all the things. And even though you might have that instinct of like, well, why don&#39;t you just you know in the back of your mind you&#39;re like, no, no, no, no. It&#39;s never gonna go well. That&#39;s never gonna go well. It&#39;s not a good suggestion, and also it&#39;s just gonna piss everyone off. So um, if they said that I would divorce them immediately and start dating Chris Pratt. Gavin: 11:18 Well, I mean, but what if Chris Pratt says it to you? David: 11:21 That&#39;s perfectly fine. He can say whatever&#39;s rich and beautiful, yeah. Yeah, you can say it to me. Gavin: 11:26 Okay. Um, that this actual situation happened to me many times back in the day, and uh yeah, it never went well, but I would have to leave the room or um or yeah, I mean, I think plain and simple, it&#39;s just leave the room and just think about what you&#39;ve just said because man, at home all day long parenting, it&#39;s the hardest job on the planet. So uh don&#39;t tell me to make things just more fun. Okay, finally, another parent texts you that your kid kicked their kid at the playground, but you have it on good authority that their kid is the aggressor and in all situations usually the asshole. Plus, the parent is a total asshole. What would you do? David: 12:00 So there&#39;s two rounds of the answer. The first round is the first thing I would do, which is I would make some sort of light joke like, man, so sorry about that. Kids are assholes, right? Ha ha ha. And test the temperature of the other parent. Do they go, yeah, my kid&#39;s not perfect either? So I know that like they get it. And then, or if they&#39;re like, well, just you know, whatever. And then the second, if it, if if their kid does something a second time and they were the asshole, I would bring it up to them immediately. But the first time I would lean in with a joke and test the waters and be like, are you like cool or are you just being a psychopath? Because if you&#39;re a psychopath, then I&#39;m gonna make your life a living hell. And every time your kid sneezes wrong, I&#39;m gonna tell the front desk. Gavin: 12:44 Oh, nice. But you go to the authorities and you go. David: 12:47 Oh no, I do the cowardly way. Gavin: 12:48 I let them do it. unknown: 12:49 Yeah. Gavin: 12:50 All right. Well, I hope that that was helpful for everybody because I don&#39;t want to have that scenario to come to me whatsoever, and I don&#39;t want to deal with it because I just want to hide from um confrontation. But um, thank you. Absolutely. And now I know what would you do. David: 13:03 That&#39;s really that&#39;s that&#39;s those are some golden pipes of yours, Gavin. But we also have a recording of your golden pipes for our top three list. Gavin: 13:12 Gatriarch&#39;s top three list, three, two, one. David: 13:16 Uh, it gets better and better every time. Um, so uh we initially in what November when we last had our live episode, um, had a top three list for January. And what did we do? We scrapped it. Come at a meeting and we were like, fuck that. We&#39;re gonna do something different. Yeah so tell us what our top three list is this week, Gavin. Gavin: 13:35 Today&#39;s top three list is three parenting resolutions you&#39;re sure you&#39;re gonna break. Okay. And uh let me start, shall I? Parenting resolution number three that I am certain to break is not bending to the more TikTok time in the afternoon until all of the chores are done. This is so basic. I&#39;m not sure if it&#39;s even funny, but it every single day I think to myself, I&#39;m not gonna give extra TikTok time until I know...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s 2024! A new year, a new us. Except exactly the same with zero  personal or professional growth whatsoever. This week, we recount our holidays, Gavin asks me to play a game, we rank the top 3 New Years resolutions that we will in no way do, and our guest this week is Erik Weihenmayer, a legend in so many ways, who joins us to talk extreme mountain climbing,  world record setting, and the gaydar-gone-wrong video that changed his life forever.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Right after the break, we&#39;re gonna interview Eric Wyhein Mayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he&#39;s gay. I mean, he&#39;s gay, excuse me, he&#39;s blind. David: 0:10 And this is Gatriarchs. It&#39;s 2024. Hi. Gavin: 0:28 20 a new year, new me, new everything. Oh my god. I mean, 2023 wasn&#39;t bad, was it? I mean, hey, man, we created a podcast in 2023. David: 0:40 We created a podcast that we monetized. And if you don&#39;t, I know I think I might have posted this on my personal stories, but I should post it on the Gaterix. Uh, we made our first income in 2023, and it was drumroll 49 cents. 49 cents this podcast has gotten us. Gavin: 1:03 So we&#39;re realizing the dream, which was let&#39;s start a podcast to become millionaires within two years. That was the whole invention, right? David: 1:13 And it happened. Gavin: 1:14 It will have happened. This time next year, it&#39;ll be uh 49 million. David: 1:19 Oh, all right. That sounds good. Um anyway, it&#39;s 2024, it&#39;s a new year, it&#39;s a new year. Us, it&#39;s the first new episode. We know you guys have been listening to some of our throwbacks to our favorite guests, but we are eager to be back in the chat. Gavin: 1:30 It was fun to go back and listen to those, huh? David: 1:31 From our forgotten a lot about us, a lot of our conversations today. We were babies, our mics were different, our lighting was different. We didn&#39;t know what the fuck we were doing. We still don&#39;t really know what the fuck we&#39;re doing. Gavin: 1:42 Nope. David: 1:43 Um, before we dive in, I wanted to just kind of do a holiday roundup because I feel like the holidays happen and we weren&#39;t on the air at the time, and all the things happen. And I just feel like there&#39;s always interesting stories to talk about, um, especially when it comes to kids. My son had a Christmas concert at his daycare, and it&#39;s very cute. It&#39;s all these preschool kids barely trying, not really singing, the teacher in the front trying to do the moves. It&#39;s that thing. Gavin: 2:07 Funny enough, I was at almost exactly the same Christmas concert, but with middle schoolers, and believe me, the level of chaos was pretty much identical to a preschool. David: 2:16 And also, like the teacher who&#39;s like leading it, you can tell secretly has always wanted to be on Broadway. Do you know what I mean? There&#39;s a little bit of vibe there. Anyway, so they do that, they have these like three levels of risers, and they&#39;re doing this. They&#39;re I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Oh my son is in the top row, and he&#39;s like, you know, dancing around and he&#39;s doing really good. He&#39;s clearly the child of gay parents. That&#39;s all I&#39;m gonna say. He is performing at a Broadway level, and then they&#39;re supposed to walk around their chairs to like do something. There&#39;s no backing to this riser. It&#39;s like those chorus risers, and it just plummets. He just disappears. Disappears. And everyone kind of gasps. I jump up, I run back there. He&#39;s on the ground, he&#39;s crying. Cut to the cut to the chase, he&#39;s fine, everyone. This is does not end in like a hospital stay. But it was just like the drama of of all of this. And then so I take them and I&#39;m like, Do you want to keep going? And he&#39;s crying, he&#39;s like, Yes. So then I like sit wit]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s 2024! A new year, a new us. Except exactly the same with zero  personal or professional growth whatsoever. This week, we recount our holidays, Gavin asks me to play a game, we rank the top 3 New Years resolutions that we will in no way do, and our guest this week is Erik Weihenmayer, a legend in so many ways, who joins us to talk extreme mountain climbing,  world record setting, and the gaydar-gone-wrong video that changed his life forever.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 Right after the break, we&#39;re gonna interview Eric Wyhein Mayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he&#39;s gay. I mean, he&#39;s gay, excuse me, he&#39;s blind. David: 0:10 And this is Gatriarchs. It&#39;s 2024. Hi. Gavin: 0:28 20 a new year, new me, new everything. Oh my god. I mean, 2023 wasn&#39;t bad, was it? I mean, hey, man, we created a podcast in 2023. David: 0]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Throwback to the one with DILFS of Disneyland</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/throwback-to-the-one-with-dilfs-of-disneyland/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 27 Dec 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Our final thirsty throwback episode of 2023!  This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 David, I&#39;ve missed you. David: 0:03 I know. Gavin: 0:04 And I&#39;ve missed Gatrix. David: 0:06 I&#39;ve missed us. I&#39;ve missed sitting in my basement on my orange couch yelling at you. Gavin: 0:12 Well, okay. I uh yes, I have to admit I have missed that as well. But we&#39;re soon gonna be back with new episodes of Gatriarchs. But in the meantime, you&#39;ve got one more week to wait. So this week we&#39;re doing another of our throwbacks and talking with the genesist, the creative genius of Dilfs of Disneyland. David: 0:34 Yes, Amber Wright. Uh, we are so lucky. I literally read cold reach out to Dilfs of Disneyland Instagram account, which if you&#39;re not following, follow immediately. And I was like, I don&#39;t know who you are. I don&#39;t know anything about you, but will you be on our show? And Amber reached out and she&#39;s like, absolutely. And she gave a really great interview and to an account that I&#39;ve been following since Instagram started. Gavin: 0:53 And she came out on our show. David: 0:55 Yeah, we broke news on our show. Gavin: 0:57 I mean, we are just call us the you know, the 24-hour news cycle of Gatriarchy. Yeah, you know. David: 1:06 Just call us that, guys. It rolls off a tongue. Just like just call us that. So I am so excited to jump back in the pond with Gavin with all new episodes in 2024. How is that possible? Gatriarch&#39;s its second year in the world. And uh, we are so excited to bring new, really cool stuff, really great guests, um, and still the same dick jokes and me making fun of Gavin like you love. Gavin: 1:32 Constantly, because I bring it on myself. But in the meantime, do enjoy Amber Wright, the brainchild behind Difs of Disneyland. Precisely. David: 1:46 I set I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just swatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. Gavin: 2:02 So and this is catriarchs. Guess what, where are you? I&#39;ve gone home, I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I I have I have regressed, I&#39;m back in my childhood home, I mean the hometown, and yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 3:01 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain. She&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 3:13 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading anything. I read an article, I remember seeing an article. I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. It&#39;s that tracks. David: 3:52 But he wants to eat Madonna out, and you want to take Madonna out to eat, so it&#39;s a little different. Gavin: 4:00 I just want to vote it out, baby. So, yes, I&#39;m in a closet. Where are you, David? David: 4:04 Where are you? I&#39;m home. I&#39;m I&#39;m in my basement as usual with my new mic, which I&#39;m still thank you. Thank you all out there, A, for being listeners, but B for being patient with us and me in particular with editing and sound and everything. I&#39;m getting better, I swear. It&#39;s still a little bit, but yeah, so I&#39;m in my my basement getting ready for uh uh my kiddo&#39;s birthday, which theoretically happened a month ago if you&#39;re listening to this. But uh I I definitely had one of those parenting moments this morning that was like so so shameful, but we&#39;re like, my my daughter was just just being just the worst. You know what I mean? Like we your kids just wake up and they&#39;ve chosen violence. And um she uh she&#39;s just kind of I&#39;m holding her and she was just like thrashing. So I put her down and she started crying, and I just like walked away from her and I I mumbled under my breath, or maybe if you weren&#39;t such a bitch all the time. And I was like, oh David, you are a you are such a grown ass man. Look at you, just whispering under your breath, um, mean things to your daughter, but like But she didn&#39;t hear it, nor would she even understand it if she heard it. Gavin: 5:07 No, right. David: 5:07 It was this was a me this was a me moment only. It was like, David, did you just call a an 18-month-old a fucking bitch? Sure did. So that&#39;s that&#39;s sure that&#39;s the level of parenting I&#39;m at today. Gavin: 5:17 Did you feel any sense of relief having done it? Just saying something really naughty to just make yourself just. David: 5:24 Just shame that I couldn&#39;t handle an 18-month-old like wiggling in my arms, really. So I need a mental health day, is really what I need. Gavin: 5:33 Okay, well, here we are to record, and uh you&#39;ve got that mental health going, and I cannot wait. Talking to our guest later, I think, is gonna be the all the mental health break we need, but we won&#39;t get there till till just yet. Um, well, I mean, I&#39;ve uh I because I&#39;m traveling right now, I am traveling solo, so I got to have that incredible experience of being in an airplane for hours on end, and all I did was work the entire time, but it was very productive. I loved it. I didn&#39;t need to watch a movie. I didn&#39;t, I I was totally antisocial and worked the entire time, and I&#39;m like, this is my spa time. I had my mental health break in um an airplane coming out to Denver. It was fantastic. David: 6:11 Isn&#39;t it weird the things that you say when you&#39;re a parent where you&#39;re like, oh man, I got to I got to fly in a plane by myself. And nonparents are like, what the fuck? What why why is that? Or or the big one, which is like when you put your kid in the car seat and you close the door and you have that long walk around the car of just pure fucking vacation. Yes, right? Like these are these moments. Yeah. Yeah. I watched three movies in a row on the plane home from Scotland. Three movies in a row. And I was like, this, this hasn&#39;t this can never happen again. Gavin: 6:41 I actually thought you were gonna say I watched three movies in a row while walking around the back of the car the other day, um, going from putting my kid in the in the car seat to the driver&#39;s seat, and you just take your sweet ass time. I mean, what are you gonna do? Leave the windows. David: 6:54 And I&#39;m calling from jail because I left them in the car for seven hours. Gavin: 6:59 Speaking of mental health days, David, uh earlier this week my kid is uh doing a summer camp and he um he just didn&#39;t want to go on Monday, and he was absolutely adamant. And he&#39;s my kid who is like doesn&#39;t ask for mental health days, doesn&#39;t pitch a fit about doing stuff. And, you know, there are so many times in our household I&#39;m like, we do not quit. If you&#39;re gonna like do a sport, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the season. If you&#39;re gonna do a uh if you&#39;re gonna make a commitment for a semester, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the semester. I don&#39;t care how much you hate it the entire time. This is what the the choice you&#39;ve made, and you&#39;re gonna stick with it. And um, but then you just kind of gotta learn to realize sometimes everybody does need a mental health day. So I let him skip that day of camp. And there were no regrets. It was like me backing down from being like an overly principled asshole, basically. And I&#39;m glad I did it. But then he also came in and said, um, what when we were he was 45 minutes into what should have been camp time, he was absolutely asking for his iPad. And I was like, Oh, oh no, no, no, no, that&#39;s not how this works, dude. That&#39;s not and he&#39;s like, But that&#39;s but that&#39;s the fear, right? David: 8:04 Right. You you you you&#39;re like, fine, take a day off, stay home from school sick, whatever you want. It&#39;s the fear of like that unlocks some sort of every day. I want this thing now. Because if you could somehow promise, like if you can be promised that, yes, they can stay home from school when they&#39;re sick and play on the iPad all day, but it&#39;s not gonna become a thing, then I would be way cooler about it. But uh it&#39;s it&#39;s because you just you just wait for it to be like, well, I&#39;m kind of feeling sick today, so maybe I should stay home and eat pancakes all day. Gavin: 8:30 And it&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s that&#39;s what I do. Well when you ask I I make I&#39;ve I&#39;m sure we have talked about this at some point, but far be it for me to not repeat myself on this podcast. But I make sick days miserable for my kids. I mean, if they if they have a fever and if they have barfed, in that case, I&#39;m like, yes, you lay on the couch and you watch all the movies you want and you drink all the orange juice and you eat all the pancakes. But usually my kids are never sick like that. They&#39;re just like, and then it&#39;s cool. I make those days absolutely miserable. I choose that battle and I lean into it hardcore. David: 9:01 So did you I learned something the other day. I don&#39;t this doesn&#39;t apply to anything we&#39;ve talked about whatsoever, but I wanted to mention it because maybe you knew this and I didn&#39;t. Do you know what growing pains are? Gavin: 9:11 Aside from a mediocre sitcom from the 80s and 90s, starting Christian. David: 9:17 Which had a great last episode. Um, no, growing pains is like I I had always heard like when you know when your child is growing and their body gets bigger, it&#39;s sometimes painful to them as their bones score or whatever. Gavin: 9:28 And yeah, yeah, yeah. And so my knees hurt when I was a kid and and hurt now, because I&#39;m not a kid. Growing pains, do they go for geriatrics as well? David: 9:38 I&#39;ll have I&#39;ll have to ask your your your home nurse. But um, so our my son had been getting up in the middle of the night like crying and saying, like my ankle hurts, like my shin hurts. And so we were like, I wonder if that&#39;s growing pain. So we like looked up growing pains and it was like typically occurs in the middle of the night. We&#39;ll wake the kid up. And I was like, Oh, and it basically said, No, the growing pains are not your children&#39;s bones growing and it hurts your kids. That is just a total fucking myth that everybody believes. Yeah, they were like, that&#39;s not how it happens. It&#39;s just literally your kid worked out a lot or like ran a lot or whatever, and their muscles are tired, they&#39;re Tyler Horses. No, it I I looked it up. I&#39;m telling you, I looked it up. Gavin: 10:17 I&#39;m sure I am sure, I am sure that the doctor said to me, You are having in puberty. I was 15 or something, and I&#39;m like, my knees hurt or something. And they&#39;re like, it&#39;s probably puberty growing pains. David: 10:26 And I was like, the guy who pumps your gas at the gas station is not a doctor, Gacon. I don&#39;t know how many times I have to tell you this. I but you know, uh he sure knew how to prescribe drugs, so yeah, the boner pills you got at the checkout when you bought your lottery ticket is not when I was right, when I was 15. Gavin: 10:44 It&#39;s been a long road, y&#39;all, here in Denver. David: 10:46 But yeah, no, so it&#39;s not growing pains are not those, they&#39;re not actual what you think. They&#39;re they&#39;re just literally like, oh, he has a muscle spasm or whatever. Um, but anyway, that was something I learned and is not helpful to any of the listeners or entertaining. So enjoy everyone. This is Gate. Gavin: 11:01 I have I ever talked about toy rentals or pet rentals before? I don&#39;t think so. Okay. Um just you talk about a lot of things, but I also don&#39;t listen. So and so even if I&#39;m repeating it, you&#39;re not you&#39;re not even aware. That&#39;s fine. Timothy will catch it. So I was reminded. Um, so we have a uh pet hamster that is definitely on its last legs. By the way, the hamster the hamster has some kind of growth that is um impeding its walking. Uh it&#39;s it&#39;s like uh bulbous and blue and purple, and I&#39;m sure, I am sure that my sorry everybody with PETA, but the hamster&#39;s like two and a half years old. I know it&#39;s not gonna be around for much longer, honestly. And um it&#39;s having a hard time walking. David: 11:46 Throw it into a lake or something. Gavin: 11:47 Anyway. Anyway, um, I am reminded, I mean, of course, of course, my kids, I don&#39;t know if your kids are to this degree yet, but my kids want pets all the time. We cannot, we it we have finally grown out of um going to pet co or pets murder or whatever, and not having tears as we leave because they&#39;re so upset they left a bird behind, or they didn&#39;t get to get that fish, or they didn&#39;t get to get that hamster, or like, God forbid, the um what are those uh ferrets or any rodent of any kind. Anyway, we&#39;ve had many pets. And um, but I just feel like, God, it would be such a great business model to have a pet rental service. Like, your kid wants an animal and you know that they&#39;re only going to take care of it for two days, so why can&#39;t you just rent a hamster for a week and then by the time the kid has completely forgotten about it, just go return the hamster, right? I mean, I realized no companies would actually make any money, except I would still spend probably the same$30 I did to buy that stupid little hairy mouse and have the pleasure of giving it back after a week or two. When it&#39;s a good thing. David: 12:52 Are the kids gonna be crying or whatever that the hamster has to go? Gavin: 12:55 No, dude. I told you this is all your responsibility. You three-year-old, this is your responsibility to deal with the this hamster entirely yourself. And within two weeks, you know they&#39;re not gonna pay attention to it anymore. And so, whatever, you it disappears in the middle of the night. Oh, little fuzzy. David: 13:09 Well, you can be really fucking dark and be like, yeah, the hamster died because you didn&#39;t feed it. I had to bury it in the front yard, and you just bury like a chicken wing or something. unknown: 13:19 Right. Gavin: 13:20 With a popsicle stick marking where where Coco died. Yeah, well, anyway, I I I think that if somebody&#39;s out there, listen, I&#39;m not gonna start this business. I do not have the capacity, like the physical garage space to have six ferrets, ten rats, four cats, and eight dogs to just loan to people. But God, I think that&#39;s a great business model. David: 13:40 I feel like people might might utilize that business for for bad things. So we&#39;re gonna have to really make sure our clients are just in it for the petting and hamster. You said...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Our final thirsty throwback episode of 2023!  This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz b]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Our final thirsty throwback episode of 2023!  This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 David, I&#39;ve missed you. David: 0:03 I know. Gavin: 0:04 And I&#39;ve missed Gatrix. David: 0:06 I&#39;ve missed us. I&#39;ve missed sitting in my basement on my orange couch yelling at you. Gavin: 0:12 Well, okay. I uh yes, I have to admit I have missed that as well. But we&#39;re soon gonna be back with new episodes of Gatriarchs. But in the meantime, you&#39;ve got one more week to wait. So this week we&#39;re doing another of our throwbacks and talking with the genesist, the creative genius of Dilfs of Disneyland. David: 0:34 Yes, Amber Wright. Uh, we are so lucky. I literally read cold reach out to Dilfs of Disneyland Instagram account, which if you&#39;re not following, follow immediately. And I was like, I don&#39;t know who you are. I don&#39;t know anything about you, but will you be on our show? And Amber reached out and she&#39;s like, absolutely. And she gave a really great interview and to an account that I&#39;ve been following since Instagram started. Gavin: 0:53 And she came out on our show. David: 0:55 Yeah, we broke news on our show. Gavin: 0:57 I mean, we are just call us the you know, the 24-hour news cycle of Gatriarchy. Yeah, you know. David: 1:06 Just call us that, guys. It rolls off a tongue. Just like just call us that. So I am so excited to jump back in the pond with Gavin with all new episodes in 2024. How is that possible? Gatriarch&#39;s its second year in the world. And uh, we are so excited to bring new, really cool stuff, really great guests, um, and still the same dick jokes and me making fun of Gavin like you love. Gavin: 1:32 Constantly, because I bring it on myself. But in the meantime, do enjoy Amber Wright, the brainchild behind Difs of Disneyland. Precisely. David: 1:46 I set I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just swatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. Gavin: 2:02 So and this is catriarchs. Guess what, where are you? I&#39;ve gone home, I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I I have I have regressed, I&#39;m back in my childhood home, I mean the hometown, and yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 3:01 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain. She&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 3:13 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading anything. I read an article, I remember seeing an article. I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. It&#39;s that tracks. David: 3:52 But he wants to eat Madonna out, and you want to take Madonna out to eat, so it&#39;s a little different. Gavin: 4:00 I just want to vote it out, baby. So, yes, I&#39;m in a closet. Where are you, David? David: 4:04 Where are you? I&#39;m home. I&#39;m I&#39;m in my basement as usual with my new mic, which I&#39;m still thank you. Thank you all out there, A, for being listeners, but B for being patient with us and me in particular with editing and sound and everything. I&#39;m getting better, I swear. It&#39;s still a little bit, but yeah, so I&#39;m in my my basement getting ready for uh uh my kiddo&#39;s birthday, which theoretically happened a month ago if you&#39;re listening to this. But uh I I definitely had one of those parenting moments this morning that was like so so shameful, but we&#39;re like, my my daughter was just just being just the worst. You know what I mean? Like we your kids just wake up and they&#39;ve chosen violence. And um she uh she&#39;s just kind of I&#39;m holding her and she was just like thrashing. So I put her down and she started crying, and I just like walked away from her and I I mumbled under my breath, or maybe if you weren&#39;t such a bitch all the time. And I was like, oh David, you are a you are such a grown ass man. Look at you, just whispering under your breath, um, mean things to your daughter, but like But she didn&#39;t hear it, nor would she even understand it if she heard it. Gavin: 5:07 No, right. David: 5:07 It was this was a me this was a me moment only. It was like, David, did you just call a an 18-month-old a fucking bitch? Sure did. So that&#39;s that&#39;s sure that&#39;s the level of parenting I&#39;m at today. Gavin: 5:17 Did you feel any sense of relief having done it? Just saying something really naughty to just make yourself just. David: 5:24 Just shame that I couldn&#39;t handle an 18-month-old like wiggling in my arms, really. So I need a mental health day, is really what I need. Gavin: 5:33 Okay, well, here we are to record, and uh you&#39;ve got that mental health going, and I cannot wait. Talking to our guest later, I think, is gonna be the all the mental health break we need, but we won&#39;t get there till till just yet. Um, well, I mean, I&#39;ve uh I because I&#39;m traveling right now, I am traveling solo, so I got to have that incredible experience of being in an airplane for hours on end, and all I did was work the entire time, but it was very productive. I loved it. I didn&#39;t need to watch a movie. I didn&#39;t, I I was totally antisocial and worked the entire time, and I&#39;m like, this is my spa time. I had my mental health break in um an airplane coming out to Denver. It was fantastic. David: 6:11 Isn&#39;t it weird the things that you say when you&#39;re a parent where you&#39;re like, oh man, I got to I got to fly in a plane by myself. And nonparents are like, what the fuck? What why why is that? Or or the big one, which is like when you put your kid in the car seat and you close the door and you have that long walk around the car of just pure fucking vacation. Yes, right? Like these are these moments. Yeah. Yeah. I watched three movies in a row on the plane home from Scotland. Three movies in a row. And I was like, this, this hasn&#39;t this can never happen again. Gavin: 6:41 I actually thought you were gonna say I watched three movies in a row while walking around the back of the car the other day, um, going from putting my kid in the in the car seat to the driver&#39;s seat, and you just take your sweet ass time. I mean, what are you gonna do? Leave the windows. David: 6:54 And I&#39;m calling from jail because I left them in the car for seven hours. Gavin: 6:59 Speaking of mental health days, David, uh earlier this week my kid is uh doing a summer camp and he um he just didn&#39;t want to go on Monday, and he was absolutely adamant. And he&#39;s my kid who is like doesn&#39;t ask for mental health days, doesn&#39;t pitch a fit about doing stuff. And, you know, there are so many times in our household I&#39;m like, we do not quit. If you&#39;re gonna like do a sport, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the season. If you&#39;re gonna do a uh if you&#39;re gonna make a commitment for a semester, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the semester. I don&#39;t care how much you hate it the entire time. This is what the the choice you&#39;ve made, and you&#39;re gonna stick with it. And um, but then you just kind of gotta learn to realize sometimes everybody does need a mental health day. So I let him skip that day of camp. And there were no regrets. It was like me backing down from being like an overly principled asshole, basically. And I&#39;m glad I did it. But then he also came in and said, um, what when we were he was 45 minutes into what should have been camp time, he was absolutely asking for his iPad. And I was like, Oh, oh no, no, no, no, that&#39;s not how this works, dude. That&#39;s not and he&#39;s like, But that&#39;s but that&#39;s the fear, right? David: 8:04 Right. You you you you&#39;re like, fine, take a day off, stay home from school sick, whatever you want. It&#39;s the fear of like that unlocks some sort of every day. I want this thing now. Because if you could somehow promise, like if you can be promised that, yes, they can stay home from school when they&#39;re sick and play on the iPad all day, but it&#39;s not gonna become a thing, then I would be way cooler about it. But uh it&#39;s it&#39;s because you just you just wait for it to be like, well, I&#39;m kind of feeling sick today, so maybe I should stay home and eat pancakes all day. Gavin: 8:30 And it&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s that&#39;s what I do. Well when you ask I I make I&#39;ve I&#39;m sure we have talked about this at some point, but far be it for me to not repeat myself on this podcast. But I make sick days miserable for my kids. I mean, if they if they have a fever and if they have barfed, in that case, I&#39;m like, yes, you lay on the couch and you watch all the movies you want and you drink all the orange juice and you eat all the pancakes. But usually my kids are never sick like that. They&#39;re just like, and then it&#39;s cool. I make those days absolutely miserable. I choose that battle and I lean into it hardcore. David: 9:01 So did you I learned something the other day. I don&#39;t this doesn&#39;t apply to anything we&#39;ve talked about whatsoever, but I wanted to mention it because maybe you knew this and I didn&#39;t. Do you know what growing pains are? Gavin: 9:11 Aside from a mediocre sitcom from the 80s and 90s, starting Christian. David: 9:17 Which had a great last episode. Um, no, growing pains is like I I had always heard like when you know when your child is growing and their body gets bigger, it&#39;s sometimes painful to them as their bones score or whatever. Gavin: 9:28 And yeah, yeah, yeah. And so my knees hurt when I was a kid and and hurt now, because I&#39;m not a kid. Growing pains, do they go for geriatrics as well? David: 9:38 I&#39;ll have I&#39;ll have to ask your your your home nurse. But um, so our my son had been getting up in the middle of the night like crying and saying, like my ankle hurts, like my shin hurts. And so we were like, I wonder if that&#39;s growing pain. So we like looked up growing pains and it was like typically occurs in the middle of the night. We&#39;ll wake the kid up. And I was like, Oh, and it basically said, No, the growing pains are not your children&#39;s bones growing and it hurts your kids. That is just a total fucking myth that everybody believes. Yeah, they were like, that&#39;s not how it happens. It&#39;s just literally your kid worked out a lot or like ran a lot or whatever, and their muscles are tired, they&#39;re Tyler Horses. No, it I I looked it up. I&#39;m telling you, I looked it up. Gavin: 10:17 I&#39;m sure I am sure, I am sure that the doctor said to me, You are having in puberty. I was 15 or something, and I&#39;m like, my knees hurt or something. And they&#39;re like, it&#39;s probably puberty growing pains. David: 10:26 And I was like, the guy who pumps your gas at the gas station is not a doctor, Gacon. I don&#39;t know how many times I have to tell you this. I but you know, uh he sure knew how to prescribe drugs, so yeah, the boner pills you got at the checkout when you bought your lottery ticket is not when I was right, when I was 15. Gavin: 10:44 It&#39;s been a long road, y&#39;all, here in Denver. David: 10:46 But yeah, no, so it&#39;s not growing pains are not those, they&#39;re not actual what you think. They&#39;re they&#39;re just literally like, oh, he has a muscle spasm or whatever. Um, but anyway, that was something I learned and is not helpful to any of the listeners or entertaining. So enjoy everyone. This is Gate. Gavin: 11:01 I have I ever talked about toy rentals or pet rentals before? I don&#39;t think so. Okay. Um just you talk about a lot of things, but I also don&#39;t listen. So and so even if I&#39;m repeating it, you&#39;re not you&#39;re not even aware. That&#39;s fine. Timothy will catch it. So I was reminded. Um, so we have a uh pet hamster that is definitely on its last legs. By the way, the hamster the hamster has some kind of growth that is um impeding its walking. Uh it&#39;s it&#39;s like uh bulbous and blue and purple, and I&#39;m sure, I am sure that my sorry everybody with PETA, but the hamster&#39;s like two and a half years old. I know it&#39;s not gonna be around for much longer, honestly. And um it&#39;s having a hard time walking. David: 11:46 Throw it into a lake or something. Gavin: 11:47 Anyway. Anyway, um, I am reminded, I mean, of course, of course, my kids, I don&#39;t know if your kids are to this degree yet, but my kids want pets all the time. We cannot, we it we have finally grown out of um going to pet co or pets murder or whatever, and not having tears as we leave because they&#39;re so upset they left a bird behind, or they didn&#39;t get to get that fish, or they didn&#39;t get to get that hamster, or like, God forbid, the um what are those uh ferrets or any rodent of any kind. Anyway, we&#39;ve had many pets. And um, but I just feel like, God, it would be such a great business model to have a pet rental service. Like, your kid wants an animal and you know that they&#39;re only going to take care of it for two days, so why can&#39;t you just rent a hamster for a week and then by the time the kid has completely forgotten about it, just go return the hamster, right? I mean, I realized no companies would actually make any money, except I would still spend probably the same$30 I did to buy that stupid little hairy mouse and have the pleasure of giving it back after a week or two. When it&#39;s a good thing. David: 12:52 Are the kids gonna be crying or whatever that the hamster has to go? Gavin: 12:55 No, dude. I told you this is all your responsibility. You three-year-old, this is your responsibility to deal with the this hamster entirely yourself. And within two weeks, you know they&#39;re not gonna pay attention to it anymore. And so, whatever, you it disappears in the middle of the night. Oh, little fuzzy. David: 13:09 Well, you can be really fucking dark and be like, yeah, the hamster died because you didn&#39;t feed it. I had to bury it in the front yard, and you just bury like a chicken wing or something. unknown: 13:19 Right. Gavin: 13:20 With a popsicle stick marking where where Coco died. Yeah, well, anyway, I I I think that if somebody&#39;s out there, listen, I&#39;m not gonna start this business. I do not have the capacity, like the physical garage space to have six ferrets, ten rats, four cats, and eight dogs to just loan to people. But God, I think that&#39;s a great business model. David: 13:40 I feel like people might might utilize that business for for bad things. So we&#39;re gonna have to really make sure our clients are just in it for the petting and hamster. You said...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Our final thirsty throwback episode of 2023!  This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 David, I&#39;ve missed you. David: 0:03 I know. Gavin: 0:04 And I&#39;ve missed Gatrix. David: 0:06 I&#39;ve missed us. I&#39;ve missed sitting in my basement on my orange couch yelling at you. Gavin: 0:12 Well, okay. I uh yes, I have to admit I have missed that as well. But we&#39;re soon gonna be back with new episodes of Gatriarchs. But in the meantime, you&#39;ve got one more week to wait. So this week we&#39;re doing another of our throwbacks and talking with the genesist, the creative genius of Dilfs of Disneyland. David: 0:34 Yes, Amber Wright. Uh, we are so lucky. I literally read cold reach out to Dilfs of Disneyland Instagram account, which if you&#39;re not following, follow immediately. And I was like, I don&#39;t know who you are. I don&#39;t know anything about you, but will you be on our show? And Amber reached out and she&#39;s like, absolutely. And she gave a really great interview and to an account that I&#39;ve been following since Instagram started. Gavin: 0:53 And she came out on our show. David: 0:55 Yeah, we broke news on our show. Gavin: 0:57 I mean, we are just call us the you know, the 24-hour news cycle of Gatriarchy. Yeah, you know. David: 1:06 Just call us that, guys. It rolls off a tongue. Just like just call us that. So I am so excited to jump back in the pond with Gavin with all new episodes in 2024. How is that possible? Gatriarch&#39;s its second year in the world. And uh, we are so excited to bring new, really cool stuff, really great guests, um, and still the same dick jokes and me making fun of Gavin like you love. Gavin: 1:32 Constantly, because I bring it on myself. But in the meantime, do enjoy Amber Wright, the brainchild behind Difs of Disneyland. Precisely. David: 1:46 I set I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just swatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. Gavin: 2:02 So and this is catriarchs. Guess what, where are you? I&#39;ve gone home, I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I I have I have regressed, I&#39;m back in my childhood home, I mean the hometown, and yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 3:01 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain. She&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 3:13 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading anything. I read an article, I remember seeing an article. I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Our final thirsty throwback episode of 2023!  This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 David, I&#39;ve missed you. David: 0:03 I know. Gavin: 0:04 And I&#39;ve missed Gatrix. David: 0:06 I&#39;ve missed us. I&#39;ve missed sitting in my basement on my orange couch yelling at you. Gavin: 0:12 Well, okay. I uh yes, I have to admit I have missed that as well. But we&#39;re soon gonna be back with new episodes of Gatriarchs. But in the meantime, you&#39;ve got one more week to wait. So this week we&#39;re doing]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Throwback to the one with 2.Ladies.and.2.Babies</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/throwback-to-the-one-with-2-ladies-and-2-babies/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 20 Dec 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Our penultimate thirsty throwback! This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey Gatriarchs. Hope you are having a great holiday season, whatever and however you may be celebrating, with or without kids. We are still in the midst of a holiday um revisitation of some old episodes. One of our favorites was Two Ladies, Two Babies. David, how did you find two ladies, two babies? David: 0:22 Literally came across my TikTok feed. Caitlin and her wife basically make all this hilarious content on TikTok and of course Instagram as well. And I just cold reached out to her. I was like, you&#39;re fucking hilarious. Will you be on our podcast? And she was super generous. She came on our podcast, and now we are best friends. We text every single day. We literally, I literally called her on a walk yesterday. Um, so I am so happy to do a throwback this week, uh, the week before Christmas with one of our favorite lesbians in the whole world, uh, Caitlin, who is the um the genius behind the two ladies, two babies TikTok account. Gavin: 0:55 Everybody needs more Caitlin in their lives, and she&#39;s the essence. Hey, she may be a lady who&#39;s not down with Dick, but she is definitely what we all need more in our Gatriarch&#39;s world because she&#39;s just spreading light and love and doesn&#39;t mind uh bad mouthing the trials and tribulations of being a parent. David: 1:13 Given that&#39;s boy is she funny. Gavin, that was fucking filthy and disgusting. More of that, please. All right, we&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. But today, enjoy a throwback to episode 24. Happy holidays! Gavin: 1:27 So, keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is, I would say, our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like, I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 1:51 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 1:57 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 1:59 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know, when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Catnip. Gavin: 2:53 I cannot I was not aware of that. David: 2:55 I can&#39;t have a book. I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, Well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child, and that&#39;s just just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that was my low for pride because it made me feel really fucking shitty. It made me feel like, God, you know, you you you get really comfortable in a neighborhood and then you just remember, oh yeah, you&#39;re reminded that there&#39;s some kind of sleeper cells out there. Gavin: 3:37 And this I mean, in those sleeper cells, they must have been just a very vocal minority, right? From from on the fringes of your town, or are these people that you actually know? David: 3:46 No, it&#39;s a vocal minority, but I think what makes it feel so fucking shitty is that it&#39;s the it&#39;s the wrapped in positivity. It&#39;s like, no, no, no, I have no problem with the gays. It&#39;s just I&#39;m protecting the children, right? If people were outs out there saying, you know, kill the queers, it would actually make me feel a little safer in a weird way. Because it&#39;s just like, I know those people, I know where they are, I can, you know what I mean? Like, but it&#39;s the people who pretend that this is all in service of a child&#39;s future, which is all a lie, as we know. So anyway, that was kind of my pride low. My pride high was we have a uh giant flag out, uh pride flag out for the month of pride, and it&#39;s it&#39;s three feet by two feet. It is obscene. No, it&#39;s three feet by five feet, anyway. Um, and uh we put it away, and um, that day, this woman came walking through our neighborhood, like an older woman, and she was like walking for exercise, and we were outside playing with our kids, doing chalk on the front sidewalk, and she just waved at us, she goes, Happy pride! And it was just like this reminder of like she has walked by our house before, she knows we&#39;re gay dad&#39;s, she&#39;s seen the flag, it was not up at the time, but she wanted us to know. It&#39;s like that woman in the parking lot I I talked about about 10 times. I remember it&#39;s like she wanted us to know that she sees us and that it&#39;s cool, and like that sort of thing is so meaningful to me. So that was my high of pride. Yep. What about you? Gavin: 5:07 Visibility and representation. Well, so interestingly enough, in my community, this is funny. I thought about whether I wanted to bring this up or not, but it&#39;s definitely bringing it um close to home that we recently have a bit of a scandal going down because of a book that&#39;s in the library. SPEAKER_04: 5:21 Trauma. Gavin: 5:21 And it, I mean, it is a bit of like the moms for liberty is are they coming into my little tiny town in Connecticut, which is very possible because, of course, I mean, we aren&#39;t super, super red, we aren&#39;t super, super blue, we&#39;re we&#39;re pretty middle of the road. I mean, we&#39;re like, you know, it&#39;s Connecticut politics. Uh there&#39;s a lot of um New England Republicans here who are kind of um in the shadows and unfortunately being um over overpowered by the greater DeSantis agenda. And um, the book is a is basically uh, frankly, for lack of a better term, uh a graphic novel, so it&#39;s illustrated. It&#39;s a graphic novel that is almost like a sex manual for teens and even tweens. And it&#39;s meant to be instructive. It&#39;s meant to be the way I see it is it&#39;s sex positive and it is not misogynistic, violent porn. And even if I no, do I particularly want my eight-year-old to see it? Not really, but at the same time, if he did, he&#39;s just kind of kind of giggle about it or be a little weirded out, but it&#39;s like, hey, sex is sex, and you know my he he knows what the mechanics are, and so if he sees the mechanics um writ drawn, I don&#39;t think that that&#39;s actually uh traumatizing or bad thing. Uh it is unfortunately, it&#39;s been a low point of pride. This literally happened during pride. And also, by the way, the sex manual shouldn&#39;t have to do anything to do with LGBTQ issues whatsoever. But of course it does because that&#39;s what people freaked out about. Because it&#39;s not, it&#39;s not just cis-gendered heteronormative missionary position uh diagrams. It is much more expansive than that. So it&#39;s kind of it&#39;s a bummer that it&#39;s happened now, but I will say that um some people uh wrote a letter to uh the library asking not to ban the book, thank God. Supposedly, it&#39;s uh, but it could be a slippery slope to that, where they just want to put it in the adult section, like the adult, not the pornographic section, but the in the adult stacks. And um, and so 150 people signed that. And then um the other side, which I signed, um, wrote, no, listen, this is um, this is uh a slippery slope to banning books, this is censorship, and also these are these are important topics that even kids should be exposed to, even if it&#39;s awkward. And 450 people signed that. So that side has overpowered it. So that was a highlight. And then um, as I keep talking here, um uh moving into the highlight for me for Pride was I was went to my local uh hardware store just the other day, and it is in the middle of nowhere. I mean, absolutely off the grid. You can&#39;t even get Wi-Fi service there. It is uh in the middle of nowhere. And you know, it&#39;s everybody&#39;s always been super nice to me. I&#39;m sure they all know I&#39;m a gay dad. I&#39;ve brought the kids in the last decade. Yeah, just I I just open my mouth and pearls and purses just come out. So there I am, and I go to the paint section, I&#39;m asking some advice about some paint, and then I notice that they have a little cup that has a rainbow on it and said pride. And I&#39;m like, and the cup had uh paint brushes in it or something like that. I said, Oh, wow, hey, just like thanks for the visibility. And the woman said, Oh yeah, I had a whole pride display earlier, and I had I used the um the paint chips, you know, and the colors, and I made a whole rainbow wheel, and I said happy pride, and I said, How did people react to that? And she said, Uh I mean, most people just said, Hey, thanks, hey, happy pride, this is great. And I&#39;m like, we are in the middle of nowhere. This is absolutely amazing to me. And she said there were a few people who grumbled, they were admittedly like some staff, but they grumbled and they moved on. And I&#39;m okay with people grumbling and moving on, frankly. I mean, so feel your feelings. That was a that was a full high high of uh pride, was um real representation out in the middle of nowhere. Loved it. David: 9:04 So we posted on um our Instagram account for Father&#39;s Day. Uh again, we&#39;re a little uh we&#39;re recording a little ahead, but we posted like happy dilf day or something. I got multiple messages from multiple family members asking me what a dilf was, including my mom. SPEAKER_04: 9:23 My mom goes, what&#39;s a dilf? David: 9:25 And so now I&#39;m having to just like do I just say the words? Do I allude to it? Because you know, you even though I&#39;m 43, I still don&#39;t like to say dirty words in front of my mom. She listens to the podcast. I told her this is a very explicit podcast. So um, yeah, she uh she asked, and then um also my sister, um, I heard uh texted her daughter, my niece, um, like, what is a dilf? Because she wanted to know, but she didn&#39;t wanted me to know that she didn&#39;t know. Um, so that was kind of fun having to tell my mom what dilf means. Gavin: 9:57 And how did she respond to that? David: 9:58 She she she was like, oh, oh, like, you know, she was a little a little shocked, but yeah, uh, we support DILFs here. Gavin: 10:05 Uh we are definitely DILF friendly here at Gatriarchs, without a doubt. Which also reminds me of I&#39;m on a text thread with some friends, and um, and somehow we have labored our ourselves. We&#39;re we&#39;re climbing a mountain together later in um later in the year, and I am the only uh gay uh of the four people on the thread, and we have called ourselves the um the mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, I and they and they uh we shared each other on Father&#39;s Day. Hey, happy Father&#39;s Day mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, we might want to expand that a little bit. Like, happy Father&#39;s Day fatherfuckers as well, right? We need some representation in there, totally. David: 10:44 Um, and speaking of curse words, let&#39;s move into our top three list this week. Let&#39;s do it. Yes, uh, tell us about it. So this week, our top three list is top three favorite curse words or phrases. Um, I live to curse, I think you know that. So um, here are my personal favorites. Bring it on. Uh and number three, dickhole. Stop being such a fucking dickhole. Uh number two, dildo. Listen, I&#39;m pro dildos are wonderful, but I like as an as a slur, but you fucking dildo. That&#39;s my number two. Um, and number one, it&#39;s classic, it&#39;s old school, but it just feels so good to say asshole. Stop being an asshole. Yeah, that&#39;s number one for me. What about you? Gavin: 11:28 This all reminded me of oh god, I&#39;m gonna both show my age in referencing old movies and the fact that I can&#39;t remember exactly which movie it is. Oh, it&#39;s E.T., where Elliot calls his brother penis breath. For me, number three is penis breath. Penis breath. Bring it at old school. Number two for me is damn. And that&#39;s because I realized that we needed to start watching what we were saying in front of our kids when my kids started saying, Damn it. And I thought, wow, do I really have that inflection when I say damn it? And then finally, number one for me is well, I I sorry, I have to tell the story about it. When we I will always remember this is my greatest parenting story. David: 12:10 Should I lay down? Shall I get comfortable? Gavin: 12:13 Just put your I do know how to drag out a story or drag out a top three list. Uh we were decorating for Christmas a couple of years ago, many years ago, and I asked my kids, hey, by the way, you know what Christmas is about, right? Um we aren&#39;t uh super religious people, but I think it&#39;s good to know if you&#39;re gonna celebrate a holiday that um that you know why, you know, the reason for the literally the reason for the season, right? Well, it&#39;s to get presents. Well, yes, it is to get presents. And also, um, and and also for Santa Claus. Yes, there&#39;s Santa Claus. And I said, and also um in traditionally and historically, um, that&#39;s when Jesus was born. And my kid goes, You mean Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we didn&#39;t want to start laughing. Yeah. We said we don&#39;t usually use his middle name. So that is definitely my number one go-to when I am when I need to really make the full exc exclamation point. It&#39;s JFC. David: 13:08 Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. That&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 13:11 All right, what are we doing next week for our topics? Okay, next week I want to hear about the three most disgusting things you&#39;ve eaten that made you realize, oh wow, I am seriously a dad right now. David: 13:26 So our next guest is the mastermind behind the brilliance that is the Two Ladies, Two Babies TikTok account. And if you haven&#39;t seen it, you are missing out on some borderline perfect parenting content. I personally consider them the lesbian version of me. So please welcome to the show, Caitlin Plaskett. Hi! Caitlin! Good morning. SPEAKER_01: 13:48 Good morning, how are you, lovelies? Gavin: 13:50 Just before this, you said that you consider us the two gay aspects of yourself just split in two. Like the yin and the year. SPEAKER_01: 13:59 You guys are basically my dads here. It&#39;s like you&#39;re like, you created me. David: 14:03 Ooh, I was hoping for like a younger, better looking brother or like rich. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 You are literally, uh-uh, no, you are literally branded as gay dad podcasts. So, like, what do you think? Okay, thank you. Gavin: 14:13 You&#39;re right. And then you&#39;re right. Right. She&#39;s she&#39;s leaning into exactly the way we market ourselves, and then look at us being all frail and insecure about our age issues. So, yes, you&#39;re right, Caitlin. You&#39;re exactly right. SPEAKER_00: 14:22 We&#39;ll be your dads. Gavin: 14:23 We&#39;ll be your daddies. We will absolutely be your daddies. SPEAKER_00: 14:26 I&#39;ll take it. David: 14:27 So, for those of you out there who are listening who have not...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Our penultimate thirsty throwback! This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, wh]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Our penultimate thirsty throwback! This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey Gatriarchs. Hope you are having a great holiday season, whatever and however you may be celebrating, with or without kids. We are still in the midst of a holiday um revisitation of some old episodes. One of our favorites was Two Ladies, Two Babies. David, how did you find two ladies, two babies? David: 0:22 Literally came across my TikTok feed. Caitlin and her wife basically make all this hilarious content on TikTok and of course Instagram as well. And I just cold reached out to her. I was like, you&#39;re fucking hilarious. Will you be on our podcast? And she was super generous. She came on our podcast, and now we are best friends. We text every single day. We literally, I literally called her on a walk yesterday. Um, so I am so happy to do a throwback this week, uh, the week before Christmas with one of our favorite lesbians in the whole world, uh, Caitlin, who is the um the genius behind the two ladies, two babies TikTok account. Gavin: 0:55 Everybody needs more Caitlin in their lives, and she&#39;s the essence. Hey, she may be a lady who&#39;s not down with Dick, but she is definitely what we all need more in our Gatriarch&#39;s world because she&#39;s just spreading light and love and doesn&#39;t mind uh bad mouthing the trials and tribulations of being a parent. David: 1:13 Given that&#39;s boy is she funny. Gavin, that was fucking filthy and disgusting. More of that, please. All right, we&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. But today, enjoy a throwback to episode 24. Happy holidays! Gavin: 1:27 So, keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is, I would say, our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like, I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 1:51 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 1:57 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 1:59 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know, when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Catnip. Gavin: 2:53 I cannot I was not aware of that. David: 2:55 I can&#39;t have a book. I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, Well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child, and that&#39;s just just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that was my low for pride because it made me feel really fucking shitty. It made me feel like, God, you know, you you you get really comfortable in a neighborhood and then you just remember, oh yeah, you&#39;re reminded that there&#39;s some kind of sleeper cells out there. Gavin: 3:37 And this I mean, in those sleeper cells, they must have been just a very vocal minority, right? From from on the fringes of your town, or are these people that you actually know? David: 3:46 No, it&#39;s a vocal minority, but I think what makes it feel so fucking shitty is that it&#39;s the it&#39;s the wrapped in positivity. It&#39;s like, no, no, no, I have no problem with the gays. It&#39;s just I&#39;m protecting the children, right? If people were outs out there saying, you know, kill the queers, it would actually make me feel a little safer in a weird way. Because it&#39;s just like, I know those people, I know where they are, I can, you know what I mean? Like, but it&#39;s the people who pretend that this is all in service of a child&#39;s future, which is all a lie, as we know. So anyway, that was kind of my pride low. My pride high was we have a uh giant flag out, uh pride flag out for the month of pride, and it&#39;s it&#39;s three feet by two feet. It is obscene. No, it&#39;s three feet by five feet, anyway. Um, and uh we put it away, and um, that day, this woman came walking through our neighborhood, like an older woman, and she was like walking for exercise, and we were outside playing with our kids, doing chalk on the front sidewalk, and she just waved at us, she goes, Happy pride! And it was just like this reminder of like she has walked by our house before, she knows we&#39;re gay dad&#39;s, she&#39;s seen the flag, it was not up at the time, but she wanted us to know. It&#39;s like that woman in the parking lot I I talked about about 10 times. I remember it&#39;s like she wanted us to know that she sees us and that it&#39;s cool, and like that sort of thing is so meaningful to me. So that was my high of pride. Yep. What about you? Gavin: 5:07 Visibility and representation. Well, so interestingly enough, in my community, this is funny. I thought about whether I wanted to bring this up or not, but it&#39;s definitely bringing it um close to home that we recently have a bit of a scandal going down because of a book that&#39;s in the library. SPEAKER_04: 5:21 Trauma. Gavin: 5:21 And it, I mean, it is a bit of like the moms for liberty is are they coming into my little tiny town in Connecticut, which is very possible because, of course, I mean, we aren&#39;t super, super red, we aren&#39;t super, super blue, we&#39;re we&#39;re pretty middle of the road. I mean, we&#39;re like, you know, it&#39;s Connecticut politics. Uh there&#39;s a lot of um New England Republicans here who are kind of um in the shadows and unfortunately being um over overpowered by the greater DeSantis agenda. And um, the book is a is basically uh, frankly, for lack of a better term, uh a graphic novel, so it&#39;s illustrated. It&#39;s a graphic novel that is almost like a sex manual for teens and even tweens. And it&#39;s meant to be instructive. It&#39;s meant to be the way I see it is it&#39;s sex positive and it is not misogynistic, violent porn. And even if I no, do I particularly want my eight-year-old to see it? Not really, but at the same time, if he did, he&#39;s just kind of kind of giggle about it or be a little weirded out, but it&#39;s like, hey, sex is sex, and you know my he he knows what the mechanics are, and so if he sees the mechanics um writ drawn, I don&#39;t think that that&#39;s actually uh traumatizing or bad thing. Uh it is unfortunately, it&#39;s been a low point of pride. This literally happened during pride. And also, by the way, the sex manual shouldn&#39;t have to do anything to do with LGBTQ issues whatsoever. But of course it does because that&#39;s what people freaked out about. Because it&#39;s not, it&#39;s not just cis-gendered heteronormative missionary position uh diagrams. It is much more expansive than that. So it&#39;s kind of it&#39;s a bummer that it&#39;s happened now, but I will say that um some people uh wrote a letter to uh the library asking not to ban the book, thank God. Supposedly, it&#39;s uh, but it could be a slippery slope to that, where they just want to put it in the adult section, like the adult, not the pornographic section, but the in the adult stacks. And um, and so 150 people signed that. And then um the other side, which I signed, um, wrote, no, listen, this is um, this is uh a slippery slope to banning books, this is censorship, and also these are these are important topics that even kids should be exposed to, even if it&#39;s awkward. And 450 people signed that. So that side has overpowered it. So that was a highlight. And then um, as I keep talking here, um uh moving into the highlight for me for Pride was I was went to my local uh hardware store just the other day, and it is in the middle of nowhere. I mean, absolutely off the grid. You can&#39;t even get Wi-Fi service there. It is uh in the middle of nowhere. And you know, it&#39;s everybody&#39;s always been super nice to me. I&#39;m sure they all know I&#39;m a gay dad. I&#39;ve brought the kids in the last decade. Yeah, just I I just open my mouth and pearls and purses just come out. So there I am, and I go to the paint section, I&#39;m asking some advice about some paint, and then I notice that they have a little cup that has a rainbow on it and said pride. And I&#39;m like, and the cup had uh paint brushes in it or something like that. I said, Oh, wow, hey, just like thanks for the visibility. And the woman said, Oh yeah, I had a whole pride display earlier, and I had I used the um the paint chips, you know, and the colors, and I made a whole rainbow wheel, and I said happy pride, and I said, How did people react to that? And she said, Uh I mean, most people just said, Hey, thanks, hey, happy pride, this is great. And I&#39;m like, we are in the middle of nowhere. This is absolutely amazing to me. And she said there were a few people who grumbled, they were admittedly like some staff, but they grumbled and they moved on. And I&#39;m okay with people grumbling and moving on, frankly. I mean, so feel your feelings. That was a that was a full high high of uh pride, was um real representation out in the middle of nowhere. Loved it. David: 9:04 So we posted on um our Instagram account for Father&#39;s Day. Uh again, we&#39;re a little uh we&#39;re recording a little ahead, but we posted like happy dilf day or something. I got multiple messages from multiple family members asking me what a dilf was, including my mom. SPEAKER_04: 9:23 My mom goes, what&#39;s a dilf? David: 9:25 And so now I&#39;m having to just like do I just say the words? Do I allude to it? Because you know, you even though I&#39;m 43, I still don&#39;t like to say dirty words in front of my mom. She listens to the podcast. I told her this is a very explicit podcast. So um, yeah, she uh she asked, and then um also my sister, um, I heard uh texted her daughter, my niece, um, like, what is a dilf? Because she wanted to know, but she didn&#39;t wanted me to know that she didn&#39;t know. Um, so that was kind of fun having to tell my mom what dilf means. Gavin: 9:57 And how did she respond to that? David: 9:58 She she she was like, oh, oh, like, you know, she was a little a little shocked, but yeah, uh, we support DILFs here. Gavin: 10:05 Uh we are definitely DILF friendly here at Gatriarchs, without a doubt. Which also reminds me of I&#39;m on a text thread with some friends, and um, and somehow we have labored our ourselves. We&#39;re we&#39;re climbing a mountain together later in um later in the year, and I am the only uh gay uh of the four people on the thread, and we have called ourselves the um the mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, I and they and they uh we shared each other on Father&#39;s Day. Hey, happy Father&#39;s Day mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, we might want to expand that a little bit. Like, happy Father&#39;s Day fatherfuckers as well, right? We need some representation in there, totally. David: 10:44 Um, and speaking of curse words, let&#39;s move into our top three list this week. Let&#39;s do it. Yes, uh, tell us about it. So this week, our top three list is top three favorite curse words or phrases. Um, I live to curse, I think you know that. So um, here are my personal favorites. Bring it on. Uh and number three, dickhole. Stop being such a fucking dickhole. Uh number two, dildo. Listen, I&#39;m pro dildos are wonderful, but I like as an as a slur, but you fucking dildo. That&#39;s my number two. Um, and number one, it&#39;s classic, it&#39;s old school, but it just feels so good to say asshole. Stop being an asshole. Yeah, that&#39;s number one for me. What about you? Gavin: 11:28 This all reminded me of oh god, I&#39;m gonna both show my age in referencing old movies and the fact that I can&#39;t remember exactly which movie it is. Oh, it&#39;s E.T., where Elliot calls his brother penis breath. For me, number three is penis breath. Penis breath. Bring it at old school. Number two for me is damn. And that&#39;s because I realized that we needed to start watching what we were saying in front of our kids when my kids started saying, Damn it. And I thought, wow, do I really have that inflection when I say damn it? And then finally, number one for me is well, I I sorry, I have to tell the story about it. When we I will always remember this is my greatest parenting story. David: 12:10 Should I lay down? Shall I get comfortable? Gavin: 12:13 Just put your I do know how to drag out a story or drag out a top three list. Uh we were decorating for Christmas a couple of years ago, many years ago, and I asked my kids, hey, by the way, you know what Christmas is about, right? Um we aren&#39;t uh super religious people, but I think it&#39;s good to know if you&#39;re gonna celebrate a holiday that um that you know why, you know, the reason for the literally the reason for the season, right? Well, it&#39;s to get presents. Well, yes, it is to get presents. And also, um, and and also for Santa Claus. Yes, there&#39;s Santa Claus. And I said, and also um in traditionally and historically, um, that&#39;s when Jesus was born. And my kid goes, You mean Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we didn&#39;t want to start laughing. Yeah. We said we don&#39;t usually use his middle name. So that is definitely my number one go-to when I am when I need to really make the full exc exclamation point. It&#39;s JFC. David: 13:08 Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. That&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 13:11 All right, what are we doing next week for our topics? Okay, next week I want to hear about the three most disgusting things you&#39;ve eaten that made you realize, oh wow, I am seriously a dad right now. David: 13:26 So our next guest is the mastermind behind the brilliance that is the Two Ladies, Two Babies TikTok account. And if you haven&#39;t seen it, you are missing out on some borderline perfect parenting content. I personally consider them the lesbian version of me. So please welcome to the show, Caitlin Plaskett. Hi! Caitlin! Good morning. SPEAKER_01: 13:48 Good morning, how are you, lovelies? Gavin: 13:50 Just before this, you said that you consider us the two gay aspects of yourself just split in two. Like the yin and the year. SPEAKER_01: 13:59 You guys are basically my dads here. It&#39;s like you&#39;re like, you created me. David: 14:03 Ooh, I was hoping for like a younger, better looking brother or like rich. SPEAKER_01: 14:08 You are literally, uh-uh, no, you are literally branded as gay dad podcasts. So, like, what do you think? Okay, thank you. Gavin: 14:13 You&#39;re right. And then you&#39;re right. Right. She&#39;s she&#39;s leaning into exactly the way we market ourselves, and then look at us being all frail and insecure about our age issues. So, yes, you&#39;re right, Caitlin. You&#39;re exactly right. SPEAKER_00: 14:22 We&#39;ll be your dads. Gavin: 14:23 We&#39;ll be your daddies. We will absolutely be your daddies. SPEAKER_00: 14:26 I&#39;ll take it. David: 14:27 So, for those of you out there who are listening who have not...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Our penultimate thirsty throwback! This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey Gatriarchs. Hope you are having a great holiday season, whatever and however you may be celebrating, with or without kids. We are still in the midst of a holiday um revisitation of some old episodes. One of our favorites was Two Ladies, Two Babies. David, how did you find two ladies, two babies? David: 0:22 Literally came across my TikTok feed. Caitlin and her wife basically make all this hilarious content on TikTok and of course Instagram as well. And I just cold reached out to her. I was like, you&#39;re fucking hilarious. Will you be on our podcast? And she was super generous. She came on our podcast, and now we are best friends. We text every single day. We literally, I literally called her on a walk yesterday. Um, so I am so happy to do a throwback this week, uh, the week before Christmas with one of our favorite lesbians in the whole world, uh, Caitlin, who is the um the genius behind the two ladies, two babies TikTok account. Gavin: 0:55 Everybody needs more Caitlin in their lives, and she&#39;s the essence. Hey, she may be a lady who&#39;s not down with Dick, but she is definitely what we all need more in our Gatriarch&#39;s world because she&#39;s just spreading light and love and doesn&#39;t mind uh bad mouthing the trials and tribulations of being a parent. David: 1:13 Given that&#39;s boy is she funny. Gavin, that was fucking filthy and disgusting. More of that, please. All right, we&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. But today, enjoy a throwback to episode 24. Happy holidays! Gavin: 1:27 So, keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is, I would say, our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like, I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 1:51 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 1:57 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 1:59 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know, when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Catnip. Gavin: 2:53 I cannot I was not aware of that. David: 2:55 I can&#39;t have a book. I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, Well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child, and that&#39;s just just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Our penultimate thirsty throwback! This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.and.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hey Gatriarchs. Hope you are having a great holiday season, whatever and however you may be celebrating, with or without kids. We are still in the midst of a holiday um revisitation of some old episodes. One of our favorites was Two Ladies, Two Babies. David, how did you find two ladies, two babies? David: 0:22 Literally came across my TikTok feed. Caitlin and her wife basically make all this hilarious content on TikTok and of course Instagram as well. And I just ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>Throwback to the one with Mx. Domestic</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/throwback-to-the-one-with-mx-domestic/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 13 Dec 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13986310</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s another thirsty throwback! We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What&#39;s up, Gatriarchs? We are still taking our much needed vacation. I think Gavin is uh at some bathhouse in the Bahamas. Uh for now we are gonna throw back. Gavin: 0:10 But I&#39;m here. Oh, oh, no, here we go. Oh, no, he&#39;s here. David: 0:12 Oh, welcome back. Gavin: 0:13 There&#39;s a great connection here down here in the Bahamas. It&#39;s very, very strong. He&#39;s he&#39;s just covered in semen. David: 0:19 Um, so uh we&#39;re throwing back this week to episode 21. The legal episode, the legal episode with MX Domestic. Gavin: 0:29 MX Domestic was a fantastic find. It was somebody one of the first times we reached out to somebody that we did not know on the gram, and they have uh a really, really special way of spreading light and joy. They&#39;ve been through a lot in their life, and they don&#39;t have any problem telling us about a lot of that, and how parenthood has given them so much more uh meaning, which is something that we can all relate to. David: 0:52 And also they&#39;re very funny, very funny. So enjoy this uh throwback to episode 21 with MX Domestic. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes. Can&#39;t wait. Gavin: 1:07 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there, or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer, I suppose? I don&#39;t know, but I&#39;m cutting all of that. Yeah, okay. David: 1:22 None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, I&#39;m like, how did you do it? Gavin: 2:23 What part, what part of her was on fire? David: 2:25 I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 2:38 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the Oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main thing. David: 2:55 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 2:56 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. David: 3:05 Asking about your future. That was my week. Gavin: 3:07 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their identifying um uh elements. But I&#39;m like, listen, just stop being an asshole, like your sibling, you know? And I&#39;m able to go back and forth with both of those things. But the idea of being able to compare, sometimes I do want to be like, you know, if you just did it a little more like a sibling, it everything would be easier. That&#39;s why you should always have a second kid. David: 3:50 It&#39;s a backup kid. Because if one kid breaks, the other one&#39;s already. And I honestly, sometimes I feel like when one kid&#39;s being an asshole, the other one usually isn&#39;t. So I&#39;m like, yeah, okay, fine. I&#39;m just gonna leave you in here crying. I&#39;m gonna go hang out with a good one. Gavin: 4:02 Yep. Absolutely. And we the uh bringing that brutal honesty is gonna make everybody stronger in the end. So or an artist. With damage, I mean, how can you be a good artist without being a little bit damaged, right? David: 4:15 So one of the things that I wasn&#39;t prepared for when I became a parent was how every single relationship in my life changed. Um and and I would say on the majority, most changed for the better, whatever that meant. Um, but every relationship to the relationship I had with my mail carrier, to my mom, to my kids, to my friends, to like literally everyone in my life. Like I was not expecting mail carrier to come out first there. Her name is her name is Miss Penny, and she&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 4:46 M-A-I-L-O-O-M-A-L-I-L-C. David: 4:48 No, not M A L E, but that&#39;s that&#39;s clever. Um, so I just thought, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s something interesting that we could talk about because I don&#39;t think I was ready for that. Um, and the only thing I thought I was ready for was like, oh yeah, maybe people without kids would not want to hang out with me as much. Was that your long guy just driving by? The hot one or the old one? The old one? You&#39;re you&#39;re muted right now. Yeah. Gavin: 5:15 Sorry. Um, yeah, I didn&#39;t hit mute fast enough as he zipped by. It was not the hot one. I mean, and I&#39;m all about old hotties too, but this guy is not uh regardless of his age. So, so did did relationships change in your life when you became a parent? It&#39;s a fact of life that it&#39;s hard for all of us to sometimes rectify that relationships do change all the time, but they go in hyper speed uh when you have parents, uh when you have children. And I mean it reminds me of being in middle school and being disenchanted with the kids in my freshman year or in uh high school, my freshman year, my friend group changed by my sophomore year, and I think I just wanted to be like it was. And then when you have kids and you&#39;re like, wait a minute, I just want it to be like it was, but you&#39;re the the all of the change, all of the relationships change so quickly. And um, and we do admittedly, it&#39;s fun to just commiserate and complain about your kids and compare and whatnot, but it is exasperating and as we know, exhausting for people who don&#39;t have kids, and also people who have the wherewithal to be like, can we stop talking about our kids? But it&#39;s also fun to talk about kids too. I mean, that&#39;s why we&#39;re here because we have fun doing it. But what exactly something&#39;s sticking in your craw, I have a feeling right now, about friendship change. David: 6:24 I wouldn&#39;t say it was sticking in my craw. It just it I was surprised. Like, so one of the examples is like prior to my having my first kid when we were telling everybody, oh, we&#39;re like pregnant, the reactions I got, right? Some people were like, Oh, that&#39;s so cool. I had one of my closest friends in the world um say to me, Oh, first words out of his mouth, oh no, we&#39;re not gonna get to hang out anymore. And I get that&#39;s so sex in this. Yeah, but I get the idea, right? It&#39;s like I know you&#39;re gonna be busier, so it like our friendship will change or whatever. But it was, it was a it was a little bit of like a shock. Um, and then of of course, like the the opposite, right? People were like super excited or whatever. Um, so one of the things is like with your own family members and your like your parents, uh your siblings or whatever, I found that on the whole, um, the relationships deepened, they got better. Uh, I don&#39;t know if you felt that way, but like with like my relationship with my mom and my my aunts and my uncles and everything, it just it deepened those relationships. Gavin: 7:19 That&#39;s interesting that you&#39;re the one who&#39;s all like profound and sincere here. Because my thought is actually it&#39;s interesting how my uh I feel like I have more friendships that are transitory and change based upon the circumstances. Like I have a lot of elementary school, but elementary my kids&#39; elementary school friends&#39; parents from New York, and I don&#39;t live in the city anymore, and an awful lot of those people have dropped off the planet. And it&#39;s not because we don&#39;t like each other anymore, it&#39;s just out of side out of mind. Or I have my soccer friends, I mean for my kids, my soccer friends, and then I have the lacrosse friends, and then I have the just academic friends, and some somewhere um I love the parents, but our kids don&#39;t necessarily get along that well, and I&#39;m like, tough, we&#39;re gonna all gonna hang out because I like the parents, and uh, this is about me. It&#39;s not about you either. But it is transitory where you kind of have to make peace with sometimes you have the playground friends and then and then not necessarily friends, and it makes you examine like, well, is this a real friendship or is it not if it&#39;s so transitory? And yet it&#39;s a real friendship, it&#39;s just a kind of different kind of real friendship, I think. David: 8:19 So, yes, I think part of that is due to the fact that we&#39;ve grew up in the arts, right, as actors, and so our lives have been very transitory, right? Because you know, we go to a regional gig and then we do a national tour, and then we do a Broadway show, and then we go to Europe and whatever. And so your your best friends, your family members are the people around you. Um they&#39;re intense and totally. So I just thought, yeah, I don&#39;t know why. I just thought like my family family, like my my mom, dad, and siblings and stuff, it deepened the relationship there because it was fun to watch them as a aunt, uncle, grandma, whatever. Um, and then I found the only really negative is I I felt like a lot of my friendships that that I wished had continued or adjusted to my new life, really, because my life is the one that changed, didn&#39;t. And and they they were just that connect because parenting had become such a big part of my life, that that our friendship suffered for that. And I think that&#39;s normal. It did, it, it, it saddened me because part of me wanted to like reach out and be like, no, no, no, no. Uh we still have the same relationship. I my time is just a little different. Let&#39;s just schedule it. We just have to schedule, right? And like, which is you know, very like, you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m busy, I&#39;m busy. But that is the the one downside was that like I had friends who just that was they they were just like, yeah, he&#39;s busy now, and they just kind of figured away. Yeah, but I think that&#39;s the natural part of becoming parents is that like relationships ebb and flow and and whatever. But um, yeah, but then then there&#39;s the last thing I want to talk about, which is fucking hilarious to me, which is when you become a parent, you are forced into these bite-sized relationships with other parent people. That&#39;s either at the daycare or at the birthday party or at the park or whatever. And at the worst, it&#39;s like you&#39;re forced to stand awkwardly next to this other dad at a barbecue and make conversation about things. So much small talk. Gavin: 10:01 How do people do it if they don&#39;t drink? Also, I feel like if if you bring them and which is terrible also because I feel fortunate that I don&#39;t think I&#39;m an alcoholic, but there are, I mean, the idea that we have to drink everywhere to be able to have any kind of social lubricant is kind of too bad. But I I can&#39;t imagine going to I I I hate birthday party kids&#39; preschool birthday parties if there&#39;s not booze. Come on, because this is just torture for everybody. David: 10:25 But I will say, surprisingly, two we have we have kind of befriended two parents of kids in my kids&#39; social circle that have become really fucking cool. Like I was like, I we said this the other day, which I think is a really high mark. I would be friends with you even if we didn&#39;t have kids that were friends with each other. And so like we&#39;re already planning like a night out where we all go hang out and go to a bar and get babysitters. Let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Gavin: 10:50 Yeah. So this is your I know it&#39;s a little nebulous, but I want to know what the three things that are hotter than summer. So let me go first. Number three, Aperil spritzes. For me, an Aperol spritz, you know what an Aperol spritz is, right? I do. It&#39;s a drink. It&#39;s an Italian drink, and it is like two parts prosecco, or just cheap champagne, a little bit of seltzer on top, and a spritz of alt april. Uh the like the the liqueur kind of like campari. Super bitter. But it is a quintessential Italian drink, and for me, it is a Vespa and uh short shorts and uh thick 1960s eye makeup and big ol&#39; high heels, and it&#39;s just like sex in a drink. I just want to hop on a Vespa and ride around in the summertime in the Italian hills. So for me, I&#39;m telling you, an Aperol spritz. It brings um hotter than hotter to me. Then also hotter than summer to me. Then uh number two, the Banana Republic catalog with short shorts. I was just flipping through the other day and I&#39;m like, yes, God bless short shorts. Because that&#39;s what I need. And number one, hotter than hotter, the Spotify Pride 2023 playlist. I just want to hear all of that good time music that makes you smile and makes you want to grind up against another boy or girl or just like dance and dance and dance. It makes me really happy, and I think it&#39;s hotter than summer. What about you, David? David: 12:24 Well, I I feel like I was misled on what I was doing. No, there was no misleading. It&#39;s just whatever you want. I uh yeah, but now that you&#39;re saying all these like sexy things, now my list is fucking stupid. My list my list is literally hot things. That&#39;s all right. Make your hot tell us what your hot things are, David. Well, well, okay. So in number three, that one empty subway car in summer. Gavin: 12:51 Yes. Okay. David: 12:52 If you live in a big city and it&#39;s rush hour, and every car is full, and there&#39;s that one car that&#39;s empty, that is hot. That is hotter than summer. Good. Uh number two, it&#39;s in the title. Hot pockets. There&#39;s no such thing as a hot pocket that is not molten goddamn lava. Oh shit. Okay. And uh number one, thing hotter than summer? Zoos. Why are zoos always fucking hot? So hot. There&#39;s no shade. There&#39;s no every zoo experience from the fucking parking lot all the way through the it is hot, hot, hot. So number one, zoos. And now, now I feel like I have to add like a bonus one because it was sexy. So I&#39;ll say number one hotter than summer sexy edition is like when you&#39;re on a plane and you&#39;re sitting down on the aisle seat, and some hot guy comes up near you and then starts putting his bag above you, and his shirt lifts up a little bit, and you just get to see like three-quarters of an inch of belly or underwear line or whatever it is. Wow, you came up with that on the fly. Gavin: 14:00 That was a that was a really good one. I mean, there were Kevin. David: 14:02 But the amount of things that are going on constantly in this head...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s another thirsty throwback! We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic,]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s another thirsty throwback! We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What&#39;s up, Gatriarchs? We are still taking our much needed vacation. I think Gavin is uh at some bathhouse in the Bahamas. Uh for now we are gonna throw back. Gavin: 0:10 But I&#39;m here. Oh, oh, no, here we go. Oh, no, he&#39;s here. David: 0:12 Oh, welcome back. Gavin: 0:13 There&#39;s a great connection here down here in the Bahamas. It&#39;s very, very strong. He&#39;s he&#39;s just covered in semen. David: 0:19 Um, so uh we&#39;re throwing back this week to episode 21. The legal episode, the legal episode with MX Domestic. Gavin: 0:29 MX Domestic was a fantastic find. It was somebody one of the first times we reached out to somebody that we did not know on the gram, and they have uh a really, really special way of spreading light and joy. They&#39;ve been through a lot in their life, and they don&#39;t have any problem telling us about a lot of that, and how parenthood has given them so much more uh meaning, which is something that we can all relate to. David: 0:52 And also they&#39;re very funny, very funny. So enjoy this uh throwback to episode 21 with MX Domestic. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes. Can&#39;t wait. Gavin: 1:07 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there, or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer, I suppose? I don&#39;t know, but I&#39;m cutting all of that. Yeah, okay. David: 1:22 None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, I&#39;m like, how did you do it? Gavin: 2:23 What part, what part of her was on fire? David: 2:25 I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 2:38 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the Oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main thing. David: 2:55 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 2:56 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. David: 3:05 Asking about your future. That was my week. Gavin: 3:07 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their identifying um uh elements. But I&#39;m like, listen, just stop being an asshole, like your sibling, you know? And I&#39;m able to go back and forth with both of those things. But the idea of being able to compare, sometimes I do want to be like, you know, if you just did it a little more like a sibling, it everything would be easier. That&#39;s why you should always have a second kid. David: 3:50 It&#39;s a backup kid. Because if one kid breaks, the other one&#39;s already. And I honestly, sometimes I feel like when one kid&#39;s being an asshole, the other one usually isn&#39;t. So I&#39;m like, yeah, okay, fine. I&#39;m just gonna leave you in here crying. I&#39;m gonna go hang out with a good one. Gavin: 4:02 Yep. Absolutely. And we the uh bringing that brutal honesty is gonna make everybody stronger in the end. So or an artist. With damage, I mean, how can you be a good artist without being a little bit damaged, right? David: 4:15 So one of the things that I wasn&#39;t prepared for when I became a parent was how every single relationship in my life changed. Um and and I would say on the majority, most changed for the better, whatever that meant. Um, but every relationship to the relationship I had with my mail carrier, to my mom, to my kids, to my friends, to like literally everyone in my life. Like I was not expecting mail carrier to come out first there. Her name is her name is Miss Penny, and she&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 4:46 M-A-I-L-O-O-M-A-L-I-L-C. David: 4:48 No, not M A L E, but that&#39;s that&#39;s clever. Um, so I just thought, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s something interesting that we could talk about because I don&#39;t think I was ready for that. Um, and the only thing I thought I was ready for was like, oh yeah, maybe people without kids would not want to hang out with me as much. Was that your long guy just driving by? The hot one or the old one? The old one? You&#39;re you&#39;re muted right now. Yeah. Gavin: 5:15 Sorry. Um, yeah, I didn&#39;t hit mute fast enough as he zipped by. It was not the hot one. I mean, and I&#39;m all about old hotties too, but this guy is not uh regardless of his age. So, so did did relationships change in your life when you became a parent? It&#39;s a fact of life that it&#39;s hard for all of us to sometimes rectify that relationships do change all the time, but they go in hyper speed uh when you have parents, uh when you have children. And I mean it reminds me of being in middle school and being disenchanted with the kids in my freshman year or in uh high school, my freshman year, my friend group changed by my sophomore year, and I think I just wanted to be like it was. And then when you have kids and you&#39;re like, wait a minute, I just want it to be like it was, but you&#39;re the the all of the change, all of the relationships change so quickly. And um, and we do admittedly, it&#39;s fun to just commiserate and complain about your kids and compare and whatnot, but it is exasperating and as we know, exhausting for people who don&#39;t have kids, and also people who have the wherewithal to be like, can we stop talking about our kids? But it&#39;s also fun to talk about kids too. I mean, that&#39;s why we&#39;re here because we have fun doing it. But what exactly something&#39;s sticking in your craw, I have a feeling right now, about friendship change. David: 6:24 I wouldn&#39;t say it was sticking in my craw. It just it I was surprised. Like, so one of the examples is like prior to my having my first kid when we were telling everybody, oh, we&#39;re like pregnant, the reactions I got, right? Some people were like, Oh, that&#39;s so cool. I had one of my closest friends in the world um say to me, Oh, first words out of his mouth, oh no, we&#39;re not gonna get to hang out anymore. And I get that&#39;s so sex in this. Yeah, but I get the idea, right? It&#39;s like I know you&#39;re gonna be busier, so it like our friendship will change or whatever. But it was, it was a it was a little bit of like a shock. Um, and then of of course, like the the opposite, right? People were like super excited or whatever. Um, so one of the things is like with your own family members and your like your parents, uh your siblings or whatever, I found that on the whole, um, the relationships deepened, they got better. Uh, I don&#39;t know if you felt that way, but like with like my relationship with my mom and my my aunts and my uncles and everything, it just it deepened those relationships. Gavin: 7:19 That&#39;s interesting that you&#39;re the one who&#39;s all like profound and sincere here. Because my thought is actually it&#39;s interesting how my uh I feel like I have more friendships that are transitory and change based upon the circumstances. Like I have a lot of elementary school, but elementary my kids&#39; elementary school friends&#39; parents from New York, and I don&#39;t live in the city anymore, and an awful lot of those people have dropped off the planet. And it&#39;s not because we don&#39;t like each other anymore, it&#39;s just out of side out of mind. Or I have my soccer friends, I mean for my kids, my soccer friends, and then I have the lacrosse friends, and then I have the just academic friends, and some somewhere um I love the parents, but our kids don&#39;t necessarily get along that well, and I&#39;m like, tough, we&#39;re gonna all gonna hang out because I like the parents, and uh, this is about me. It&#39;s not about you either. But it is transitory where you kind of have to make peace with sometimes you have the playground friends and then and then not necessarily friends, and it makes you examine like, well, is this a real friendship or is it not if it&#39;s so transitory? And yet it&#39;s a real friendship, it&#39;s just a kind of different kind of real friendship, I think. David: 8:19 So, yes, I think part of that is due to the fact that we&#39;ve grew up in the arts, right, as actors, and so our lives have been very transitory, right? Because you know, we go to a regional gig and then we do a national tour, and then we do a Broadway show, and then we go to Europe and whatever. And so your your best friends, your family members are the people around you. Um they&#39;re intense and totally. So I just thought, yeah, I don&#39;t know why. I just thought like my family family, like my my mom, dad, and siblings and stuff, it deepened the relationship there because it was fun to watch them as a aunt, uncle, grandma, whatever. Um, and then I found the only really negative is I I felt like a lot of my friendships that that I wished had continued or adjusted to my new life, really, because my life is the one that changed, didn&#39;t. And and they they were just that connect because parenting had become such a big part of my life, that that our friendship suffered for that. And I think that&#39;s normal. It did, it, it, it saddened me because part of me wanted to like reach out and be like, no, no, no, no. Uh we still have the same relationship. I my time is just a little different. Let&#39;s just schedule it. We just have to schedule, right? And like, which is you know, very like, you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m busy, I&#39;m busy. But that is the the one downside was that like I had friends who just that was they they were just like, yeah, he&#39;s busy now, and they just kind of figured away. Yeah, but I think that&#39;s the natural part of becoming parents is that like relationships ebb and flow and and whatever. But um, yeah, but then then there&#39;s the last thing I want to talk about, which is fucking hilarious to me, which is when you become a parent, you are forced into these bite-sized relationships with other parent people. That&#39;s either at the daycare or at the birthday party or at the park or whatever. And at the worst, it&#39;s like you&#39;re forced to stand awkwardly next to this other dad at a barbecue and make conversation about things. So much small talk. Gavin: 10:01 How do people do it if they don&#39;t drink? Also, I feel like if if you bring them and which is terrible also because I feel fortunate that I don&#39;t think I&#39;m an alcoholic, but there are, I mean, the idea that we have to drink everywhere to be able to have any kind of social lubricant is kind of too bad. But I I can&#39;t imagine going to I I I hate birthday party kids&#39; preschool birthday parties if there&#39;s not booze. Come on, because this is just torture for everybody. David: 10:25 But I will say, surprisingly, two we have we have kind of befriended two parents of kids in my kids&#39; social circle that have become really fucking cool. Like I was like, I we said this the other day, which I think is a really high mark. I would be friends with you even if we didn&#39;t have kids that were friends with each other. And so like we&#39;re already planning like a night out where we all go hang out and go to a bar and get babysitters. Let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Gavin: 10:50 Yeah. So this is your I know it&#39;s a little nebulous, but I want to know what the three things that are hotter than summer. So let me go first. Number three, Aperil spritzes. For me, an Aperol spritz, you know what an Aperol spritz is, right? I do. It&#39;s a drink. It&#39;s an Italian drink, and it is like two parts prosecco, or just cheap champagne, a little bit of seltzer on top, and a spritz of alt april. Uh the like the the liqueur kind of like campari. Super bitter. But it is a quintessential Italian drink, and for me, it is a Vespa and uh short shorts and uh thick 1960s eye makeup and big ol&#39; high heels, and it&#39;s just like sex in a drink. I just want to hop on a Vespa and ride around in the summertime in the Italian hills. So for me, I&#39;m telling you, an Aperol spritz. It brings um hotter than hotter to me. Then also hotter than summer to me. Then uh number two, the Banana Republic catalog with short shorts. I was just flipping through the other day and I&#39;m like, yes, God bless short shorts. Because that&#39;s what I need. And number one, hotter than hotter, the Spotify Pride 2023 playlist. I just want to hear all of that good time music that makes you smile and makes you want to grind up against another boy or girl or just like dance and dance and dance. It makes me really happy, and I think it&#39;s hotter than summer. What about you, David? David: 12:24 Well, I I feel like I was misled on what I was doing. No, there was no misleading. It&#39;s just whatever you want. I uh yeah, but now that you&#39;re saying all these like sexy things, now my list is fucking stupid. My list my list is literally hot things. That&#39;s all right. Make your hot tell us what your hot things are, David. Well, well, okay. So in number three, that one empty subway car in summer. Gavin: 12:51 Yes. Okay. David: 12:52 If you live in a big city and it&#39;s rush hour, and every car is full, and there&#39;s that one car that&#39;s empty, that is hot. That is hotter than summer. Good. Uh number two, it&#39;s in the title. Hot pockets. There&#39;s no such thing as a hot pocket that is not molten goddamn lava. Oh shit. Okay. And uh number one, thing hotter than summer? Zoos. Why are zoos always fucking hot? So hot. There&#39;s no shade. There&#39;s no every zoo experience from the fucking parking lot all the way through the it is hot, hot, hot. So number one, zoos. And now, now I feel like I have to add like a bonus one because it was sexy. So I&#39;ll say number one hotter than summer sexy edition is like when you&#39;re on a plane and you&#39;re sitting down on the aisle seat, and some hot guy comes up near you and then starts putting his bag above you, and his shirt lifts up a little bit, and you just get to see like three-quarters of an inch of belly or underwear line or whatever it is. Wow, you came up with that on the fly. Gavin: 14:00 That was a that was a really good one. I mean, there were Kevin. David: 14:02 But the amount of things that are going on constantly in this head...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s another thirsty throwback! We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What&#39;s up, Gatriarchs? We are still taking our much needed vacation. I think Gavin is uh at some bathhouse in the Bahamas. Uh for now we are gonna throw back. Gavin: 0:10 But I&#39;m here. Oh, oh, no, here we go. Oh, no, he&#39;s here. David: 0:12 Oh, welcome back. Gavin: 0:13 There&#39;s a great connection here down here in the Bahamas. It&#39;s very, very strong. He&#39;s he&#39;s just covered in semen. David: 0:19 Um, so uh we&#39;re throwing back this week to episode 21. The legal episode, the legal episode with MX Domestic. Gavin: 0:29 MX Domestic was a fantastic find. It was somebody one of the first times we reached out to somebody that we did not know on the gram, and they have uh a really, really special way of spreading light and joy. They&#39;ve been through a lot in their life, and they don&#39;t have any problem telling us about a lot of that, and how parenthood has given them so much more uh meaning, which is something that we can all relate to. David: 0:52 And also they&#39;re very funny, very funny. So enjoy this uh throwback to episode 21 with MX Domestic. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes. Can&#39;t wait. Gavin: 1:07 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there, or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer, I suppose? I don&#39;t know, but I&#39;m cutting all of that. Yeah, okay. David: 1:22 None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, I&#39;m like, how did you do it? Gavin: 2:23 What part, what part of her was on fire? David: 2:25 I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 2:38 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the Oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main thing. David: 2:55 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 2:56 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. David: 3:05 Asking about your future. That was my week. Gavin: 3:07 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s another thirsty throwback! We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 What&#39;s up, Gatriarchs? We are still taking our much needed vacation. I think Gavin is uh at some bathhouse in the Bahamas. Uh for now we are gonna throw back. Gavin: 0:10 But I&#39;m here. Oh, oh, no, here we go. Oh, no, he&#39;s here. David: 0:12 Oh, welcome back. Gavin: 0:13 There&#39;s a great connection here down here in the Bahamas. It&#39;s very, very strong. He&#39;s he&#39;s just covered in semen. David: 0:19 Um, so uh we&#39;re throwing back this week to episode 21. The legal ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Throwback to the one with Ellyn Marie Marsh</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/throwback-to-the-one-with-ellyn-marie-marsh/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Dec 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback! We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 One of our guardian angels in the podcast sphere is somebody we reference an awful lot. Somebody that is a friend of yours and mine, David, and of the entire podcasting world out there, Ellen Marie Marsh. She is a force. And she was kind enough to be a force to swoop into Gatriarchs. David: 0:18 Yeah, she was our tenth guest. Um, and we made sure that she was not our first guest, so she didn&#39;t get on some sort of high horse about it. But um, today we&#39;re gonna throw back the episode with Ellen Marie Marsh, who is a big famous podcaster, but she talks to us a little bit about um dating as a parent, as a single parent, which I thought was really super interesting. Gavin: 0:38 She&#39;s got, hey, she first of all, she&#39;s gay adjacent, basically. She&#39;s gay Jason. She uh wishes she were a gay father, frankly. And um, so she has so much for us to all be able to relate to, and she tells some honest stories. She throws it all out there. And one of the many reasons that we love Ellen. So enjoy this throwback while you are hopefully throwing back during your break. Throwing back some drinks or some dicks. Whatever that&#39;s that&#39;s yes. David: 1:07 Sorry. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes of Gatriarchs. But enjoy this one. Gavin: 1:13 Bye. I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. David: 1:20 However, I do know Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal well of non-kalendrical. Gavin: 1:29 I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 1:31 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. Wait in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Was Tom reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language, and then you reacted with something, and then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 2:33 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? David: 3:05 No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s just very old. Gavin: 3:08 So things feel somewhat similar. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 3:18 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the case. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh, ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 3:43 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympathy for somebody who&#39;s in a place like Disneyland or out on the streets of New York City, and they feel like this is this is keeping my child alive. I am being daddy bear. I&#39;m being a bear. Stop it. I&#39;m being a daddy bear and I&#39;m not gonna let my kid run into uh traffic. So I mean, but it&#39;s a drastic it&#39;s a drastic resort, but I&#39;m glad I am very I see people like that, and I&#39;m very glad I&#39;ve never had to leash my children. David: 4:21 But it&#39;s absolutely one of those things that when I before I became parent, I saw and I was like, you guys are disgusting. You can&#39;t even like, you&#39;re not even willing to watch your own child. And I we were at the mall the other day and I saw somebody, it was uh, I don&#39;t know if she was by herself or not, but at the time she was by herself and she had a kid, like a little kid in her hand, and she had this one kid, and he was on a leash and he was just pulling her along like a like a great dane. And I thought, good for you, girl. Because if she&#39;s there by herself and you got a runner, yeah, leash that motherfucker. Leash that motherfucker for days. But it&#39;s but it&#39;s it sounds awful, and I&#39;m still judgmental about it. I reserve the right to be judgmental about everything, including myself. But I was like, yeah, I I get that, especially for us when it comes to sa safety. But also, like you said, if you got a runner kid. Gavin: 5:10 You gotta choose your battles. Parenting is all about choosing your battles. And in this case, um, you know, I bet her day is a lot more productive by not having to chase the child all the time. David: 5:20 And I don&#39;t think he&#39;s leashed at home, right? Like you don&#39;t leash your child at home. I think this was probably a special scenario. Gavin: 5:26 To the to the dining room table. So that&#39;s it. Exactly. David: 5:29 Just yeah, just tie him to the tree and leave him a bowl of water. Um, so let&#39;s talk about traveling with kids really quickly before we get to our really extra special guest. Uh-huh. Um, I am going to try I have traveled with both of my kids a few times. This year we are going to travel a lot and very far together. Really? And I&#39;m slightly terrifying, so terrified. So I just wanted to quickly go through how do you travel with kids? Um, I want your advice, but I also want to give the minimal advice that I have. But I I I I am a little scared because every time your kid gets a little older, they change, and all of the things you need to travel with kids changes. So, Gabe, do you have any like ideas on like what&#39;s the best way to travel with a kid? Gavin: 6:11 First of all, I think we always, always need to divorce ourselves from the idea that there is a one size fits all. Anybody who has a blog out there, hmm, I have no experience with that whatsoever. About the the top five things you need to be able to travel, it&#39;s all bullshit because everything is gonna change and everything is circumstantial, and everything uh goes with the vicissitudes of your travel and your kids and the experience. The main thing is you just gotta chill out a little bit, and this will end, and you will get there, and it&#39;s gonna be fine, and you&#39;re all gonna be in one place, and who cares if the people behind you hate you or the people in front of you kick you? David: 6:45 Uh well, that&#39;s that&#39;s for sure on my list is like the people around you, you&#39;ve got to divorce yourself from feeling any sort of way about those people. Yes, it would be nice if you could keep your kids calm so everyone enjoys their time. But also, if you have a one-year-old who&#39;s crying because her ear hurts, everyone&#39;s gonna have to get over it. Yeah, try not to worry yourself with the fact that the people behind you are not gonna be able to watch Banshees of Inishirin without being disturbed. Gavin: 7:13 But and and stay awake through it, I might be able to do that. Although colorful was very good. It was good. No, it was really good. I mean, I think that it would be a good idea to make eye contact with the people in front and in back and just be like, hey bruh, sorry about this in advance. I apologize in advance. Seriously, making a human connection with somebody, and if they immediately look like, oh god, oh, this is gonna be terrible, I&#39;m gonna have to move. Well, at least you gave them a heads up and maybe they can move sooner. But also making a human connection to be like, to say to people, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just I pre-apologize. And that&#39;s set that lowers their expectations. That probably makes them think, oh god, there&#39;s gonna be a monster, a a banshee sitting in front of me while I&#39;m trying to watch about Inashiren. But um, making eye contact, I think, honestly is a really important thing. I don&#39;t think that you need to go to the degree of having sandwich bags full of goodies and whatever. David: 8:01 But you do need snacks for your kids. That to me is the only piece of advice is to oh have your bags so full of snacks that you swear you could feed the entire plane. Gavin: 8:10 But I think it&#39;s a really good idea to have them also as surprises and you pack stuff, little trinkets that are easy little surprises that you take out and it delights the kid, and then they have something new to do. And so I would say you don&#39;t need to bring a lot of treats, either food or toys, but you you don&#39;t need to be big quantities, but you probably should bring some differing things to surprise and delight them. And also with the baby, I know that this is hopefully uh obvious, but just make sure you have a pacifier to let the kid um, you know, regulate their ears when they take off or landing. David: 8:45 I think the snack thing and the the toy thing is about the newness, right? Like once they get bored with, you know, the puffs or the tablet or whatever you have with them, then you&#39;re like, oh, by the way, I also have this car. And it&#39;s like, oh, this is gonna, you know, this is gonna burn the next five minutes, and then we gotta think of something new. Gavin: 9:02 Oh, truly, in five minutes. And also, no asshole parent out there can think to themselves, uh, I just wish I could have this to myself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. You made your bed, you have to lie in it. Your job is to keep your kid occupied on the plane. It really is. So just like if you stay calm, it&#39;s gonna be easier for everybody. David: 9:21 So something I found out um on TikTok, because I I my entire life is TikTok, is there is a program, and I looked it up to make sure it was real before I recommended it on the podcast. There is a program called TSA Cares, and it&#39;s a program where they will send a person at the airport with you from the um initial check-in all the way through um security. Wow. And it&#39;s meant for people who need help. So people with maybe disabilities, um, people traveling with pets, stuff like that. But if you are traveling with children and multiple children and you don&#39;t have enough help, or you have too many bags, or you&#39;re a little bit worried about how am I gonna get through security with this, you can apply for TSA Cares and it&#39;s totally free. And they will literally have a person meet you at the airport and will walk with you, hold your stuff, help with your kids all the way through security. So, for those of you out there who are traveling, who are a little nervous about it, look up the TSA Cares program. Um, I want to tell one quick travel horror story that I went through just as uh a little lighthearted moment before we get into our very, very dark guest. Um, and that is when my first my son was born, we were brand new parents, we were flying, it&#39;s day three, he was three days old. And we get on the plane, and of course we&#39;re in the bulkhead seat. And of course, when you have an infant that young on a plane, you&#39;re the star. Everybody who walks by is like, oh also, the easiest flight you&#39;ll ever take, because all they&#39;re going to do is sleep and then wake up to have a bottle, you&#39;ll burp them, they&#39;ll go right back to sleep. So it&#39;s it&#39;s actually the best. So we&#39;re we&#39;re flying, and I&#39;m now a three, I have three days um on my resume as a dad. So I am super cocky. I am like, I can change a diaper, I don&#39;t need help, I know what I&#39;m doing. So because we&#39;re fucking cheap, um, we booked you know, the middle seat and the window seat in economy with an infant. So the guy on the aisle, luckily, super nice. His him and his wife were actually going through IVF, so we had a lot to talk about. And I decided, because I was really smart when we were all eating, oh, I need to change this kid&#39;s diaper. I&#39;m not gonna go all the way back to the thing. I&#39;m just gonna change him his diaper in my lap. And I turned to the guy, I&#39;m like, watch me, I&#39;m really good at changing diapers. Gavin: 11:36 Oh my god, you set yourself up for so much failure. One, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s cheap that you didn&#39;t get a third seat. That&#39;s bullshit. David: 11:43 But so I start changing his diaper, and I&#39;m meanwhile, the whole time he&#39;s eating his sandwich, we all have food in front of us, and I&#39;m talking to this guy, like, hey, you know, I can change a diaper in like five seconds, watch me. I can tell he was hot, right? He was kind of hot. You can tell because I was flirting with him. Yes, yeah, so he was he was kind of cute. So the second, if you&#39;ve ever had a baby boy, the second that diaper came off, he immediately started dissing everywhere, and he just shot piss all over the seat, all over that guy&#39;s sandwich, all over me in mid- in mid-boast about how great I am at changing diapers. He pisses on this guy&#39;s sandwich and all over me in the scene. So, my advice to their the parents out there were gonna fly with a three-day old walk back to the bathroom and change your child&#39;s diaper away from 34E&#39;s turkey sandwich. Gavin: 12:45 Hey, 34E, if you are out there. God, I hope you&#39;re listening to our podcast. Two, would you like to be a sponsor? We are um opening up uh options for sponsorship. And three, I really want you to come on and tell the story from your perspective. All right, so uh our top three, let&#39;s get into that, shall we? We I proposed that we have a top three about your top three worries about your kids. And worries about your kids, I don&#39;t mean like choking on an olive pit. I mean like the catty shit that let&#39;s just face it, you will look better as a parent if your kids don&#39;t grow up and do this kind of shit. Or whatever. Yeah, whatever you want your top three to be. Okay, so okay, in third place, please don&#39;t let my kid be tone-deaf. Hey, you do not have to walk through your life being able to sing like a lark or whatever, like Beyoncé or whomever. But I just hope that my kid can carry a tune and we have some crossover, I think. Jury&#39;s still out. Uh in second place, I really just hope that my kid doesn&#39;t be a complaining needy kid who just complains all the time. I mean right now, she&#39;s totally a complainer. But you know, you get that out of your system and hopefully you realize that in life, you you&#39;re not making any friends by just complaining about stuff. Like either solve the problem or just shut up about it, right? So just please don&#39;t be a needy complainer. And in first place, just please be interesting. Just be curious, be funny enough, be just be interesting. Don&#39;t be the person who sucks the energy out of a room because I just won&#39;t want to spend time with you. So just please be interesting. David: 14:25 What about you, Dave? We have a little bit of uh crossover. Um mine are, of course, meaner and more um selfish than yours, as as expected. So my number three is that they won&#39;t be rich. I want my kids to...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback! We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent,]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback! We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 One of our guardian angels in the podcast sphere is somebody we reference an awful lot. Somebody that is a friend of yours and mine, David, and of the entire podcasting world out there, Ellen Marie Marsh. She is a force. And she was kind enough to be a force to swoop into Gatriarchs. David: 0:18 Yeah, she was our tenth guest. Um, and we made sure that she was not our first guest, so she didn&#39;t get on some sort of high horse about it. But um, today we&#39;re gonna throw back the episode with Ellen Marie Marsh, who is a big famous podcaster, but she talks to us a little bit about um dating as a parent, as a single parent, which I thought was really super interesting. Gavin: 0:38 She&#39;s got, hey, she first of all, she&#39;s gay adjacent, basically. She&#39;s gay Jason. She uh wishes she were a gay father, frankly. And um, so she has so much for us to all be able to relate to, and she tells some honest stories. She throws it all out there. And one of the many reasons that we love Ellen. So enjoy this throwback while you are hopefully throwing back during your break. Throwing back some drinks or some dicks. Whatever that&#39;s that&#39;s yes. David: 1:07 Sorry. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes of Gatriarchs. But enjoy this one. Gavin: 1:13 Bye. I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. David: 1:20 However, I do know Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal well of non-kalendrical. Gavin: 1:29 I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 1:31 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. Wait in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Was Tom reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language, and then you reacted with something, and then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 2:33 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? David: 3:05 No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s just very old. Gavin: 3:08 So things feel somewhat similar. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 3:18 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the case. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh, ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 3:43 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympathy for somebody who&#39;s in a place like Disneyland or out on the streets of New York City, and they feel like this is this is keeping my child alive. I am being daddy bear. I&#39;m being a bear. Stop it. I&#39;m being a daddy bear and I&#39;m not gonna let my kid run into uh traffic. So I mean, but it&#39;s a drastic it&#39;s a drastic resort, but I&#39;m glad I am very I see people like that, and I&#39;m very glad I&#39;ve never had to leash my children. David: 4:21 But it&#39;s absolutely one of those things that when I before I became parent, I saw and I was like, you guys are disgusting. You can&#39;t even like, you&#39;re not even willing to watch your own child. And I we were at the mall the other day and I saw somebody, it was uh, I don&#39;t know if she was by herself or not, but at the time she was by herself and she had a kid, like a little kid in her hand, and she had this one kid, and he was on a leash and he was just pulling her along like a like a great dane. And I thought, good for you, girl. Because if she&#39;s there by herself and you got a runner, yeah, leash that motherfucker. Leash that motherfucker for days. But it&#39;s but it&#39;s it sounds awful, and I&#39;m still judgmental about it. I reserve the right to be judgmental about everything, including myself. But I was like, yeah, I I get that, especially for us when it comes to sa safety. But also, like you said, if you got a runner kid. Gavin: 5:10 You gotta choose your battles. Parenting is all about choosing your battles. And in this case, um, you know, I bet her day is a lot more productive by not having to chase the child all the time. David: 5:20 And I don&#39;t think he&#39;s leashed at home, right? Like you don&#39;t leash your child at home. I think this was probably a special scenario. Gavin: 5:26 To the to the dining room table. So that&#39;s it. Exactly. David: 5:29 Just yeah, just tie him to the tree and leave him a bowl of water. Um, so let&#39;s talk about traveling with kids really quickly before we get to our really extra special guest. Uh-huh. Um, I am going to try I have traveled with both of my kids a few times. This year we are going to travel a lot and very far together. Really? And I&#39;m slightly terrifying, so terrified. So I just wanted to quickly go through how do you travel with kids? Um, I want your advice, but I also want to give the minimal advice that I have. But I I I I am a little scared because every time your kid gets a little older, they change, and all of the things you need to travel with kids changes. So, Gabe, do you have any like ideas on like what&#39;s the best way to travel with a kid? Gavin: 6:11 First of all, I think we always, always need to divorce ourselves from the idea that there is a one size fits all. Anybody who has a blog out there, hmm, I have no experience with that whatsoever. About the the top five things you need to be able to travel, it&#39;s all bullshit because everything is gonna change and everything is circumstantial, and everything uh goes with the vicissitudes of your travel and your kids and the experience. The main thing is you just gotta chill out a little bit, and this will end, and you will get there, and it&#39;s gonna be fine, and you&#39;re all gonna be in one place, and who cares if the people behind you hate you or the people in front of you kick you? David: 6:45 Uh well, that&#39;s that&#39;s for sure on my list is like the people around you, you&#39;ve got to divorce yourself from feeling any sort of way about those people. Yes, it would be nice if you could keep your kids calm so everyone enjoys their time. But also, if you have a one-year-old who&#39;s crying because her ear hurts, everyone&#39;s gonna have to get over it. Yeah, try not to worry yourself with the fact that the people behind you are not gonna be able to watch Banshees of Inishirin without being disturbed. Gavin: 7:13 But and and stay awake through it, I might be able to do that. Although colorful was very good. It was good. No, it was really good. I mean, I think that it would be a good idea to make eye contact with the people in front and in back and just be like, hey bruh, sorry about this in advance. I apologize in advance. Seriously, making a human connection with somebody, and if they immediately look like, oh god, oh, this is gonna be terrible, I&#39;m gonna have to move. Well, at least you gave them a heads up and maybe they can move sooner. But also making a human connection to be like, to say to people, I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m just I pre-apologize. And that&#39;s set that lowers their expectations. That probably makes them think, oh god, there&#39;s gonna be a monster, a a banshee sitting in front of me while I&#39;m trying to watch about Inashiren. But um, making eye contact, I think, honestly is a really important thing. I don&#39;t think that you need to go to the degree of having sandwich bags full of goodies and whatever. David: 8:01 But you do need snacks for your kids. That to me is the only piece of advice is to oh have your bags so full of snacks that you swear you could feed the entire plane. Gavin: 8:10 But I think it&#39;s a really good idea to have them also as surprises and you pack stuff, little trinkets that are easy little surprises that you take out and it delights the kid, and then they have something new to do. And so I would say you don&#39;t need to bring a lot of treats, either food or toys, but you you don&#39;t need to be big quantities, but you probably should bring some differing things to surprise and delight them. And also with the baby, I know that this is hopefully uh obvious, but just make sure you have a pacifier to let the kid um, you know, regulate their ears when they take off or landing. David: 8:45 I think the snack thing and the the toy thing is about the newness, right? Like once they get bored with, you know, the puffs or the tablet or whatever you have with them, then you&#39;re like, oh, by the way, I also have this car. And it&#39;s like, oh, this is gonna, you know, this is gonna burn the next five minutes, and then we gotta think of something new. Gavin: 9:02 Oh, truly, in five minutes. And also, no asshole parent out there can think to themselves, uh, I just wish I could have this to myself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. You made your bed, you have to lie in it. Your job is to keep your kid occupied on the plane. It really is. So just like if you stay calm, it&#39;s gonna be easier for everybody. David: 9:21 So something I found out um on TikTok, because I I my entire life is TikTok, is there is a program, and I looked it up to make sure it was real before I recommended it on the podcast. There is a program called TSA Cares, and it&#39;s a program where they will send a person at the airport with you from the um initial check-in all the way through um security. Wow. And it&#39;s meant for people who need help. So people with maybe disabilities, um, people traveling with pets, stuff like that. But if you are traveling with children and multiple children and you don&#39;t have enough help, or you have too many bags, or you&#39;re a little bit worried about how am I gonna get through security with this, you can apply for TSA Cares and it&#39;s totally free. And they will literally have a person meet you at the airport and will walk with you, hold your stuff, help with your kids all the way through security. So, for those of you out there who are traveling, who are a little nervous about it, look up the TSA Cares program. Um, I want to tell one quick travel horror story that I went through just as uh a little lighthearted moment before we get into our very, very dark guest. Um, and that is when my first my son was born, we were brand new parents, we were flying, it&#39;s day three, he was three days old. And we get on the plane, and of course we&#39;re in the bulkhead seat. And of course, when you have an infant that young on a plane, you&#39;re the star. Everybody who walks by is like, oh also, the easiest flight you&#39;ll ever take, because all they&#39;re going to do is sleep and then wake up to have a bottle, you&#39;ll burp them, they&#39;ll go right back to sleep. So it&#39;s it&#39;s actually the best. So we&#39;re we&#39;re flying, and I&#39;m now a three, I have three days um on my resume as a dad. So I am super cocky. I am like, I can change a diaper, I don&#39;t need help, I know what I&#39;m doing. So because we&#39;re fucking cheap, um, we booked you know, the middle seat and the window seat in economy with an infant. So the guy on the aisle, luckily, super nice. His him and his wife were actually going through IVF, so we had a lot to talk about. And I decided, because I was really smart when we were all eating, oh, I need to change this kid&#39;s diaper. I&#39;m not gonna go all the way back to the thing. I&#39;m just gonna change him his diaper in my lap. And I turned to the guy, I&#39;m like, watch me, I&#39;m really good at changing diapers. Gavin: 11:36 Oh my god, you set yourself up for so much failure. One, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s cheap that you didn&#39;t get a third seat. That&#39;s bullshit. David: 11:43 But so I start changing his diaper, and I&#39;m meanwhile, the whole time he&#39;s eating his sandwich, we all have food in front of us, and I&#39;m talking to this guy, like, hey, you know, I can change a diaper in like five seconds, watch me. I can tell he was hot, right? He was kind of hot. You can tell because I was flirting with him. Yes, yeah, so he was he was kind of cute. So the second, if you&#39;ve ever had a baby boy, the second that diaper came off, he immediately started dissing everywhere, and he just shot piss all over the seat, all over that guy&#39;s sandwich, all over me in mid- in mid-boast about how great I am at changing diapers. He pisses on this guy&#39;s sandwich and all over me in the scene. So, my advice to their the parents out there were gonna fly with a three-day old walk back to the bathroom and change your child&#39;s diaper away from 34E&#39;s turkey sandwich. Gavin: 12:45 Hey, 34E, if you are out there. God, I hope you&#39;re listening to our podcast. Two, would you like to be a sponsor? We are um opening up uh options for sponsorship. And three, I really want you to come on and tell the story from your perspective. All right, so uh our top three, let&#39;s get into that, shall we? We I proposed that we have a top three about your top three worries about your kids. And worries about your kids, I don&#39;t mean like choking on an olive pit. I mean like the catty shit that let&#39;s just face it, you will look better as a parent if your kids don&#39;t grow up and do this kind of shit. Or whatever. Yeah, whatever you want your top three to be. Okay, so okay, in third place, please don&#39;t let my kid be tone-deaf. Hey, you do not have to walk through your life being able to sing like a lark or whatever, like Beyoncé or whomever. But I just hope that my kid can carry a tune and we have some crossover, I think. Jury&#39;s still out. Uh in second place, I really just hope that my kid doesn&#39;t be a complaining needy kid who just complains all the time. I mean right now, she&#39;s totally a complainer. But you know, you get that out of your system and hopefully you realize that in life, you you&#39;re not making any friends by just complaining about stuff. Like either solve the problem or just shut up about it, right? So just please don&#39;t be a needy complainer. And in first place, just please be interesting. Just be curious, be funny enough, be just be interesting. Don&#39;t be the person who sucks the energy out of a room because I just won&#39;t want to spend time with you. So just please be interesting. David: 14:25 What about you, Dave? We have a little bit of uh crossover. Um mine are, of course, meaner and more um selfish than yours, as as expected. So my number three is that they won&#39;t be rich. I want my kids to...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback! We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 One of our guardian angels in the podcast sphere is somebody we reference an awful lot. Somebody that is a friend of yours and mine, David, and of the entire podcasting world out there, Ellen Marie Marsh. She is a force. And she was kind enough to be a force to swoop into Gatriarchs. David: 0:18 Yeah, she was our tenth guest. Um, and we made sure that she was not our first guest, so she didn&#39;t get on some sort of high horse about it. But um, today we&#39;re gonna throw back the episode with Ellen Marie Marsh, who is a big famous podcaster, but she talks to us a little bit about um dating as a parent, as a single parent, which I thought was really super interesting. Gavin: 0:38 She&#39;s got, hey, she first of all, she&#39;s gay adjacent, basically. She&#39;s gay Jason. She uh wishes she were a gay father, frankly. And um, so she has so much for us to all be able to relate to, and she tells some honest stories. She throws it all out there. And one of the many reasons that we love Ellen. So enjoy this throwback while you are hopefully throwing back during your break. Throwing back some drinks or some dicks. Whatever that&#39;s that&#39;s yes. David: 1:07 Sorry. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with all new episodes of Gatriarchs. But enjoy this one. Gavin: 1:13 Bye. I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. David: 1:20 However, I do know Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal well of non-kalendrical. Gavin: 1:29 I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 1:31 And this is Gay Triarch&#39;s. Wait in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Was Tom reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language, and then you reacted with something, and then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 2:33 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? David: 3:05 No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s just very old. Gavin: 3:08 So things feel somewhat similar. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 3:18 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the case. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh, ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 3:43 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympat]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback! We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 One of our guardian angels in the podcast sphere is somebody we reference an awful lot. Somebody that is a friend of yours and mine, David, and of the entire podcasting world out there, Ellen Marie Marsh. She is a force. And she was kind enough to be a force to swoop into Gatriarchs. David: 0:18 Yeah, she was our tenth guest. Um, and we made sure that she was not our first guest, so she didn&#39;t get on some sort of high horse about it. But um, today we&#39;re gonna throw back the episode with Ellen Marie Marsh, who is a big famous podcaster, ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>Throwback to the one with Jamie Grayson</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/throwback-to-the-one-with-jamie-grayson/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 29 Nov 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback to episode 4!  This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, we are not live this week, but we want to still kind of honor some of our past guests, and we&#39;re doing a month of throwbacks. So our first throwback this week is our episode four, which was 150,000 years ago, coincidentally, when Gaven was born. And that is our episode with baby gear expert Jamie Grayson. SPEAKER_02: 0:22 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Hi. Hope you&#39;re out there listening. Uh, it was a fun conversation we had with him. He knows a lot about shit. And by shit, I wouldn&#39;t say baby poop, but he knows a lot about the crap that comes along with being a parent. He is in the baby um gear sphere and knows everything there is to know about car seats and strollers and diaper bags. And he has some funny stories. Do you remember any of those funny stories, David? David: 0:50 All I remember is that he always keeps simple syrup in his fridge so he can make a mint julep for all the gentleman callers. And he tells the story, which is a great story. So I&#39;m excited to hear this episode again. Enjoy that while we are all hopefully on a break during the holidays. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. SPEAKER_02: 1:11 I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. And this is Gatriarchs. So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. Um, and I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. Uh I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s the also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 2:36 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_02: 2:37 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, Well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. They have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense, especially, frankly, the student council and popularity contest, which just essentially hurts feelings, but also you gotta deal with hurt feelings in your life, right? And and you and I, I mean, I don&#39;t know about you, I was never bullied. I wasn&#39;t bullied in a 2023 sense of the word, I was bullied in a early 1990s sense of the word. David: 3:52 So you were called faggot in the hallway. SPEAKER_02: 3:55 And even though I dreaded going to school almost every single day of my probably sophomore year of high school and seventh, seventh grade and sophomore year, I also pushed through, and every day wasn&#39;t miserable, and I was I didn&#39;t come home crying. I just kind of like had to take a deep breath before I went into the schools those days and be like, oh God, here we go. And not every day was terrible, but I pushed through and it made me who I am today. And I wouldn&#39;t want to relive those years, but it made me who I am. David: 4:22 But that&#39;s the balance, right? That&#39;s the balance you&#39;re looking for, is that you wanna like, you want to give ju you want to sprinkle just enough trauma on top so they&#39;re interesting and they&#39;ve got a point of view and they&#39;re funny, but not enough trauma to where they go over the edge. So it&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s the trauma cookie we&#39;re trying to figure out of the balance of like how much trauma to sprinkle on top. Listen, I only attribute my funniness to being called faggot plenty in in middle school. So it&#39;s like, how many faggots do we need to sprinkle to really create the ideal child? This is like a eugenics uh uh question. But but but that I think that&#39;s the like the that&#39;s the evergreen parent question, right? Is like I want my kids to fail. My kids have to fail to learn and to move forward, but like I don&#39;t want my kid to break his arm, but I do want my kid to fall, but not to get too hurt, but to get hurt enough. I want, you know, I I struggle with this every day when like my kids like trying to get reaching for the the light and can&#39;t get the light switch. I&#39;m like, it would be so much easier for me to turn off the light. And I, it&#39;s the same way with like putting the plate in the sink and all the little things that would just make my life a little bit easier. It&#39;s just making it harder for him to learn how to do it better. But it&#39;s annoying. It&#39;s annoying to let your kids fail because you gotta hear them cry and whine, and that just that takes it out of me. But I get what you&#39;re saying, which is like you gotta have a little bit of experience and failure to become a stronger person in the future, but that process fucking sucks for parents. It sucks. SPEAKER_02: 5:53 Yeah, and if you don&#39;t have any resilience and you have your entire life handed to you on a silver plate, you just basically end up being an asshole. Or like a basic, I don&#39;t know, is the formula for the most popular kid on campus in high school and the the popular kid who then we like to joke will later be pumping gas because there&#39;s nothing literally interesting about them. They haven&#39;t had to work too hard, they haven&#39;t had to overcome anything emotionally. So when they are challenged by something when they&#39;re 19, 20, or 21, they literally don&#39;t know how to deal with it. David: 6:19 We all know the rich kids who learn that their their life lessons were very different than ours. So if those rich kids become unrich, right, shits creek, they don&#39;t have those fucking skills to kind of manage the the stress, not only the literal financial stress of like paying rent, but like the social stress of what money means. So like it&#39;s it&#39;s not an offense of them, but like how could it&#39;s like a celebrity who&#39;s been a celebrity since they were 12? Like, how could they possibly have any idea of reality? Because they in their formative years, they didn&#39;t have any reality. And so what you&#39;re saying, like helicopter parents or bulldozer parents or whatever, it it is a hard it. We I think all parents probably aim for that that perfect middle, but like we&#39;re all just reliving our trauma from our childhoods or trying to repair that, right? We&#39;re all trying to like be like, well, my parents did this, so I&#39;m gonna try to do this. Yeah, but yeah, we&#39;re all trying to find that perfect line of like, I&#39;m gonna let you fall, but you&#39;re not gonna die. SPEAKER_02: 7:15 Yeah, well said. David: 7:16 So, in way less interesting news, I I realized that it&#39;s really important to have good parenting friends this weekend because we had friends over who were just like, they brought their, they have two kids, we have two kids, they came over, we all go to daycare together, we live near each other, and uh we&#39;re like, oh, we&#39;ll just order pizzas, hang out, let the kids like trash the house, whatever. And uh, my son doesn&#39;t eat a ton of sugar. We try to like make it make him treats. Like, like, oh, you get a treat every other day or whatever. So he doesn&#39;t eat a lot of sugar. SPEAKER_02: 7:43 But not but not to the degree that of his first uh birthday cake that was just a pile of shit. David: 7:48 I&#39;m gonna like when we have show notes, I&#39;m gonna eventually put the photo of his first birthday party. It&#39;s fucking fantastic. He&#39;s sobbing because he his dad won&#39;t let him have sugar. But no, like he gets to have sugar, but like we try to make it a treat and not like an everyday thing. So anyway, at daycare, and I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s our daycare if it&#39;s all daycare, is like every day is somebody&#39;s birthday. Every day is a special day, every day there&#39;s fucking pudding and cakes and cookies and candies, and it is all it is nonstop. And I hate being the parent who&#39;s like, Can we have a little less sugar? I just wanted to be a little more special. Anyway, the point is he had a ton of fucking sugar. He came home and he&#39;s like, you know, Miss Whoever gave me a bunch of this, and then I could and he goes, My tummy hurts. And I was like, Yeah, you ate too much sugar and let&#39;s just relax. Well, that ended up being him projectile vomiting all over the kitchen rug. Um, and literally in front of these two parents while we&#39;re eating pizza. And thank God, because we&#39;re all in this like hyped up pandemic-y kind of fear of you know, disease and whatever. And thank God they just they were like, oh, poor baby, and do we need help? And they just kept eating their pizza and so chill. And it&#39;s like so nice to have fellow parents who aren&#39;t traumatized by a child throwing up brownish liquid all over the kitchen floor because they fucking get it. And if their kid had started puking on our floor, we&#39;d be like, Oh, what do they need? Are they okay? We&#39;re not gonna panic because we get it. Our friend Ellen also came over uh a couple weeks ago for dinner, and our daughter was just like, you could just see in her eyes, there was like that far-off look in her eyes, and you know, I was like, You&#39;re gonna puke, aren&#39;t you? And she just, while we&#39;re all sitting at the table, she just green, like just terrible green liquid came out of her mouth, and she threw up. And it was just, she was like, Oh, do you need a towel? Like, it&#39;s so nice to be in the safety net, and I hope that this of this podcast is for a lot of people, is like the safety net of like, we&#39;re all in this terrible ride together. You don&#39;t have to worry. You don&#39;t have to worry about us. We get it. Kids puke, I&#39;m not afraid. Hand me a slice of pepperoni. SPEAKER_02: 9:52 But to take it to a judgmental uh realm, though, I would say anybody who thinks, oh, I can deal with my own kids&#39; poop, I can deal with my own kids&#39; vomit, but I can&#39;t deal with yours. I want to be like, really? What made you so great? Because it&#39;s pretty much all the same thing. David: 10:05 I mean, I suppose germophobes out there, but Or also, I think also what comes into play is like puke is puke and shit, and all this stuff is not fun when it&#39;s your own kid. It&#39;s just not stressful, right? It&#39;s not like, okay, well, it&#39;s like whatever, we&#39;re gonna clean up this whatever, but it&#39;s not enjoyable. So when it&#39;s another kid, I always say, like, that&#39;s your fucking kid. Good luck with it. Yeah, like like it&#39;s not that I&#39;m turned off or I&#39;m like, oh god, what&#39;s going on? And that&#39;s so disgusting. I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t like cleaning puke. That&#39;s your fucking kid. You clean it up. So anyway, R.I.P. the kitchen rug we had, that is that is now in the dump. SPEAKER_02: 10:38 There was a time that I was having a uh my an adult playdate at the playground with a friend of mine who doesn&#39;t have kids. David: 10:45 Tell tell it, tell me slowly, tell me slowly. SPEAKER_02: 10:49 There was nothing nefarious, and it was in full broad daylight. David: 10:52 It was just skip on ahead. Skip 30 seconds, everyone. SPEAKER_02: 10:56 And he said, Um, hey, we haven&#39;t seen each other forever. And I was like, Well, I&#39;m just always at playground, so you can just like, do you mind coming to the playground? It&#39;s just a couple blocks away from you. So this friend of mine who uh shows up, he is gay. He I doubt he&#39;s listening to this, but John, this is dedicated to you. And um, and he was he&#39;s definitely like uh, oh kid. I just don&#39;t know what to do. I mean, oh my god, uh shit or vomited in front of him. Um, well, soon presented itself because my kid was not feeling very good. And I mean, she was low key, but I didn&#39;t think anything was happening, and then suddenly she just turned towards me looking white and barked in my lap. And my friend hopped up and hightailed it out of that playground so quickly. And it wasn&#39;t, it was there was no, there was no sense of like, hey, do you need anything? Or it was very much like there was no tag, there was no, there was no nothing. It was like, I&#39;m out of here. Bye. And um, I definitely did not see him again for another couple of years. David: 11:54 That&#39;s my favorite part about ch children throwing up, is that not they don&#39;t go, I think I have to throw up, and they like casually walk to the toilet and they get on their knee, like, no, no, no, no. They look towards you and they vomit in the most horrible way possible. I remember my the first time I remember my son actually throwing up, he he kept, and I felt bad. He kept wanting to like hug me, like he kept wanting to be on me. So whenever he&#39;d feel like he&#39;d throw up, he would walk towards me like this little vomity monster, and I would run away from him. And I felt horrible because I was like, I don&#39;t want you to puke on me, but I but and he just so badly wanted to be held, and so you eventually just you just have to hold them covered in vomit. Listen, for those of you who are aspiring parents, this is it. We&#39;re giving you the actual tea. If you can handle a child throwing up directly into your lap, you got this parenting thing. SPEAKER_02: 12:43 And she said, I have a lot of empathy for people, and I&#39;m like, Really? Because you&#39;re a monster asshole to me. But I did not say that out loud. I was like, and I know that she&#39;s an empathetic kid. And she said, you know what? I have empathy for every also, I didn&#39;t realize that she frankly knew the term uh or the definition of empathy, and frankly, it might be a little questionable still. And frankly, I think a lot of adults don&#39;t even know what empathy means or the difference between empathy and sympathy. But anyway, I&#39;ll get off my grammatical high horse. She uh said, I think even my stuffed animals have feelings, and so I don&#39;t want to get rid of them because I feel bad, even if I don&#39;t want to hold on to them, which has forced us to have to steal away in the middle of the night or while she&#39;s at school one toy at a time and just disappear it. And she never asks, and she she completely forgets about it, or if she...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback to episode 4!  This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Questions? Comments? Rants? Ra]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback to episode 4!  This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, we are not live this week, but we want to still kind of honor some of our past guests, and we&#39;re doing a month of throwbacks. So our first throwback this week is our episode four, which was 150,000 years ago, coincidentally, when Gaven was born. And that is our episode with baby gear expert Jamie Grayson. SPEAKER_02: 0:22 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Hi. Hope you&#39;re out there listening. Uh, it was a fun conversation we had with him. He knows a lot about shit. And by shit, I wouldn&#39;t say baby poop, but he knows a lot about the crap that comes along with being a parent. He is in the baby um gear sphere and knows everything there is to know about car seats and strollers and diaper bags. And he has some funny stories. Do you remember any of those funny stories, David? David: 0:50 All I remember is that he always keeps simple syrup in his fridge so he can make a mint julep for all the gentleman callers. And he tells the story, which is a great story. So I&#39;m excited to hear this episode again. Enjoy that while we are all hopefully on a break during the holidays. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. SPEAKER_02: 1:11 I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. And this is Gatriarchs. So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. Um, and I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. Uh I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s the also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 2:36 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_02: 2:37 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, Well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. They have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense, especially, frankly, the student council and popularity contest, which just essentially hurts feelings, but also you gotta deal with hurt feelings in your life, right? And and you and I, I mean, I don&#39;t know about you, I was never bullied. I wasn&#39;t bullied in a 2023 sense of the word, I was bullied in a early 1990s sense of the word. David: 3:52 So you were called faggot in the hallway. SPEAKER_02: 3:55 And even though I dreaded going to school almost every single day of my probably sophomore year of high school and seventh, seventh grade and sophomore year, I also pushed through, and every day wasn&#39;t miserable, and I was I didn&#39;t come home crying. I just kind of like had to take a deep breath before I went into the schools those days and be like, oh God, here we go. And not every day was terrible, but I pushed through and it made me who I am today. And I wouldn&#39;t want to relive those years, but it made me who I am. David: 4:22 But that&#39;s the balance, right? That&#39;s the balance you&#39;re looking for, is that you wanna like, you want to give ju you want to sprinkle just enough trauma on top so they&#39;re interesting and they&#39;ve got a point of view and they&#39;re funny, but not enough trauma to where they go over the edge. So it&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s the trauma cookie we&#39;re trying to figure out of the balance of like how much trauma to sprinkle on top. Listen, I only attribute my funniness to being called faggot plenty in in middle school. So it&#39;s like, how many faggots do we need to sprinkle to really create the ideal child? This is like a eugenics uh uh question. But but but that I think that&#39;s the like the that&#39;s the evergreen parent question, right? Is like I want my kids to fail. My kids have to fail to learn and to move forward, but like I don&#39;t want my kid to break his arm, but I do want my kid to fall, but not to get too hurt, but to get hurt enough. I want, you know, I I struggle with this every day when like my kids like trying to get reaching for the the light and can&#39;t get the light switch. I&#39;m like, it would be so much easier for me to turn off the light. And I, it&#39;s the same way with like putting the plate in the sink and all the little things that would just make my life a little bit easier. It&#39;s just making it harder for him to learn how to do it better. But it&#39;s annoying. It&#39;s annoying to let your kids fail because you gotta hear them cry and whine, and that just that takes it out of me. But I get what you&#39;re saying, which is like you gotta have a little bit of experience and failure to become a stronger person in the future, but that process fucking sucks for parents. It sucks. SPEAKER_02: 5:53 Yeah, and if you don&#39;t have any resilience and you have your entire life handed to you on a silver plate, you just basically end up being an asshole. Or like a basic, I don&#39;t know, is the formula for the most popular kid on campus in high school and the the popular kid who then we like to joke will later be pumping gas because there&#39;s nothing literally interesting about them. They haven&#39;t had to work too hard, they haven&#39;t had to overcome anything emotionally. So when they are challenged by something when they&#39;re 19, 20, or 21, they literally don&#39;t know how to deal with it. David: 6:19 We all know the rich kids who learn that their their life lessons were very different than ours. So if those rich kids become unrich, right, shits creek, they don&#39;t have those fucking skills to kind of manage the the stress, not only the literal financial stress of like paying rent, but like the social stress of what money means. So like it&#39;s it&#39;s not an offense of them, but like how could it&#39;s like a celebrity who&#39;s been a celebrity since they were 12? Like, how could they possibly have any idea of reality? Because they in their formative years, they didn&#39;t have any reality. And so what you&#39;re saying, like helicopter parents or bulldozer parents or whatever, it it is a hard it. We I think all parents probably aim for that that perfect middle, but like we&#39;re all just reliving our trauma from our childhoods or trying to repair that, right? We&#39;re all trying to like be like, well, my parents did this, so I&#39;m gonna try to do this. Yeah, but yeah, we&#39;re all trying to find that perfect line of like, I&#39;m gonna let you fall, but you&#39;re not gonna die. SPEAKER_02: 7:15 Yeah, well said. David: 7:16 So, in way less interesting news, I I realized that it&#39;s really important to have good parenting friends this weekend because we had friends over who were just like, they brought their, they have two kids, we have two kids, they came over, we all go to daycare together, we live near each other, and uh we&#39;re like, oh, we&#39;ll just order pizzas, hang out, let the kids like trash the house, whatever. And uh, my son doesn&#39;t eat a ton of sugar. We try to like make it make him treats. Like, like, oh, you get a treat every other day or whatever. So he doesn&#39;t eat a lot of sugar. SPEAKER_02: 7:43 But not but not to the degree that of his first uh birthday cake that was just a pile of shit. David: 7:48 I&#39;m gonna like when we have show notes, I&#39;m gonna eventually put the photo of his first birthday party. It&#39;s fucking fantastic. He&#39;s sobbing because he his dad won&#39;t let him have sugar. But no, like he gets to have sugar, but like we try to make it a treat and not like an everyday thing. So anyway, at daycare, and I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s our daycare if it&#39;s all daycare, is like every day is somebody&#39;s birthday. Every day is a special day, every day there&#39;s fucking pudding and cakes and cookies and candies, and it is all it is nonstop. And I hate being the parent who&#39;s like, Can we have a little less sugar? I just wanted to be a little more special. Anyway, the point is he had a ton of fucking sugar. He came home and he&#39;s like, you know, Miss Whoever gave me a bunch of this, and then I could and he goes, My tummy hurts. And I was like, Yeah, you ate too much sugar and let&#39;s just relax. Well, that ended up being him projectile vomiting all over the kitchen rug. Um, and literally in front of these two parents while we&#39;re eating pizza. And thank God, because we&#39;re all in this like hyped up pandemic-y kind of fear of you know, disease and whatever. And thank God they just they were like, oh, poor baby, and do we need help? And they just kept eating their pizza and so chill. And it&#39;s like so nice to have fellow parents who aren&#39;t traumatized by a child throwing up brownish liquid all over the kitchen floor because they fucking get it. And if their kid had started puking on our floor, we&#39;d be like, Oh, what do they need? Are they okay? We&#39;re not gonna panic because we get it. Our friend Ellen also came over uh a couple weeks ago for dinner, and our daughter was just like, you could just see in her eyes, there was like that far-off look in her eyes, and you know, I was like, You&#39;re gonna puke, aren&#39;t you? And she just, while we&#39;re all sitting at the table, she just green, like just terrible green liquid came out of her mouth, and she threw up. And it was just, she was like, Oh, do you need a towel? Like, it&#39;s so nice to be in the safety net, and I hope that this of this podcast is for a lot of people, is like the safety net of like, we&#39;re all in this terrible ride together. You don&#39;t have to worry. You don&#39;t have to worry about us. We get it. Kids puke, I&#39;m not afraid. Hand me a slice of pepperoni. SPEAKER_02: 9:52 But to take it to a judgmental uh realm, though, I would say anybody who thinks, oh, I can deal with my own kids&#39; poop, I can deal with my own kids&#39; vomit, but I can&#39;t deal with yours. I want to be like, really? What made you so great? Because it&#39;s pretty much all the same thing. David: 10:05 I mean, I suppose germophobes out there, but Or also, I think also what comes into play is like puke is puke and shit, and all this stuff is not fun when it&#39;s your own kid. It&#39;s just not stressful, right? It&#39;s not like, okay, well, it&#39;s like whatever, we&#39;re gonna clean up this whatever, but it&#39;s not enjoyable. So when it&#39;s another kid, I always say, like, that&#39;s your fucking kid. Good luck with it. Yeah, like like it&#39;s not that I&#39;m turned off or I&#39;m like, oh god, what&#39;s going on? And that&#39;s so disgusting. I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t like cleaning puke. That&#39;s your fucking kid. You clean it up. So anyway, R.I.P. the kitchen rug we had, that is that is now in the dump. SPEAKER_02: 10:38 There was a time that I was having a uh my an adult playdate at the playground with a friend of mine who doesn&#39;t have kids. David: 10:45 Tell tell it, tell me slowly, tell me slowly. SPEAKER_02: 10:49 There was nothing nefarious, and it was in full broad daylight. David: 10:52 It was just skip on ahead. Skip 30 seconds, everyone. SPEAKER_02: 10:56 And he said, Um, hey, we haven&#39;t seen each other forever. And I was like, Well, I&#39;m just always at playground, so you can just like, do you mind coming to the playground? It&#39;s just a couple blocks away from you. So this friend of mine who uh shows up, he is gay. He I doubt he&#39;s listening to this, but John, this is dedicated to you. And um, and he was he&#39;s definitely like uh, oh kid. I just don&#39;t know what to do. I mean, oh my god, uh shit or vomited in front of him. Um, well, soon presented itself because my kid was not feeling very good. And I mean, she was low key, but I didn&#39;t think anything was happening, and then suddenly she just turned towards me looking white and barked in my lap. And my friend hopped up and hightailed it out of that playground so quickly. And it wasn&#39;t, it was there was no, there was no sense of like, hey, do you need anything? Or it was very much like there was no tag, there was no, there was no nothing. It was like, I&#39;m out of here. Bye. And um, I definitely did not see him again for another couple of years. David: 11:54 That&#39;s my favorite part about ch children throwing up, is that not they don&#39;t go, I think I have to throw up, and they like casually walk to the toilet and they get on their knee, like, no, no, no, no. They look towards you and they vomit in the most horrible way possible. I remember my the first time I remember my son actually throwing up, he he kept, and I felt bad. He kept wanting to like hug me, like he kept wanting to be on me. So whenever he&#39;d feel like he&#39;d throw up, he would walk towards me like this little vomity monster, and I would run away from him. And I felt horrible because I was like, I don&#39;t want you to puke on me, but I but and he just so badly wanted to be held, and so you eventually just you just have to hold them covered in vomit. Listen, for those of you who are aspiring parents, this is it. We&#39;re giving you the actual tea. If you can handle a child throwing up directly into your lap, you got this parenting thing. SPEAKER_02: 12:43 And she said, I have a lot of empathy for people, and I&#39;m like, Really? Because you&#39;re a monster asshole to me. But I did not say that out loud. I was like, and I know that she&#39;s an empathetic kid. And she said, you know what? I have empathy for every also, I didn&#39;t realize that she frankly knew the term uh or the definition of empathy, and frankly, it might be a little questionable still. And frankly, I think a lot of adults don&#39;t even know what empathy means or the difference between empathy and sympathy. But anyway, I&#39;ll get off my grammatical high horse. She uh said, I think even my stuffed animals have feelings, and so I don&#39;t want to get rid of them because I feel bad, even if I don&#39;t want to hold on to them, which has forced us to have to steal away in the middle of the night or while she&#39;s at school one toy at a time and just disappear it. And she never asks, and she she completely forgets about it, or if she...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback to episode 4!  This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, we are not live this week, but we want to still kind of honor some of our past guests, and we&#39;re doing a month of throwbacks. So our first throwback this week is our episode four, which was 150,000 years ago, coincidentally, when Gaven was born. And that is our episode with baby gear expert Jamie Grayson. SPEAKER_02: 0:22 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Hi. Hope you&#39;re out there listening. Uh, it was a fun conversation we had with him. He knows a lot about shit. And by shit, I wouldn&#39;t say baby poop, but he knows a lot about the crap that comes along with being a parent. He is in the baby um gear sphere and knows everything there is to know about car seats and strollers and diaper bags. And he has some funny stories. Do you remember any of those funny stories, David? David: 0:50 All I remember is that he always keeps simple syrup in his fridge so he can make a mint julep for all the gentleman callers. And he tells the story, which is a great story. So I&#39;m excited to hear this episode again. Enjoy that while we are all hopefully on a break during the holidays. We&#39;ll see you on January 3rd with brand new episodes. SPEAKER_02: 1:11 I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. And this is Gatriarchs. So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. Um, and I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. Uh I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s the also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 2:36 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_02: 2:37 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, Well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. They have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense, especially, frankly, the student council ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s a throwback to episode 4!  This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Hey guys, we are not live this week, but we want to still kind of honor some of our past guests, and we&#39;re doing a month of throwbacks. So our first throwback this week is our episode four, which was 150,000 years ago, coincidentally, when Gaven was born. And that is our episode with baby gear expert Jamie Grayson. SPEAKER_02: 0:22 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Hi. Hope you&#39;re out there listening. Uh, it was a fun conversation we had with him. He knows a lot about shit. And by shit, I wouldn&#39;t say baby poop, but he knows a lot about the crap that comes along with being a parent. He is in the baby um gear sphere and knows everything t]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with TikTok&#8217;er Tyler Champagne</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tiktoker-tyler-champagne/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13984702</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts us off with some shade from his &apos;tween, we talked about school board elections and how Gaytriarchs won a seat at the table, and this week we are joined by straight Canadian car enthusiast turned TikTok comedy Dad Tyler Champagne who keeps trying to convince us that&apos;s his real name.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 As a parent and as a parent, period. It&#39;s that that I I had an idea, but it didn&#39;t come out very well. David: 0:13 It&#39;s kind of a metaphor for your life, isn&#39;t it? Fuck off. And this is GTRX. Gavin: 0:33 So we have a safe space in our house. Uh my kids are now getting to, and what I mean by that, my kids are now getting to an age where I can actually have a logical conversation with them and also be able to say, hey, I need to be able to say something to you. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re calm. It&#39;s not going to be something you&#39;re going to like, but I but can I say something? And, you know, it&#39;s we&#39;re in a safe space. And my daughter in particular has been like, okay. And it&#39;s usually about, frankly, her grades and how she doesn&#39;t care about her grades or, you know, this, that, and the other. Or talking about the ins and outs of being a middle schooler with friends and me giving advice, which of course I give way too much fucking advice, and she doesn&#39;t want to hear any of it. Well, the other night, I am uh saying goodnight to her, and we&#39;re just like having some last words and whatnot, and she&#39;s all tucked in, and I&#39;m, you know, making her a burrito and tucking the blanket in all nice and tight and cute. She goes, Dad, are we in a safe space? I&#39;m like, Well, of course we are. We&#39;re in like the safest space. She goes, When was the last time you brushed your teeth? And I&#39;m like, uh, bitch crossing. Oh man. You know, I brush my teeth at least twice a day. She goes, Oh. Then maybe, oh no, I shouldn&#39;t say it it&#39;s it&#39;s rude. And I&#39;m like, oh no. Oh no, you&#39;re gonna say that now. Yeah. Oh no. We&#39;re in it, but I was able, you know, like, no, no, no, we&#39;re in a safe space. Go ahead. She goes, Oh, then maybe when was the last time you showered? And I&#39;m like, and we&#39;re done here. Oh we&#39;re done here. My I do believe it was because I had just taken a big scoop of peanut butter and a swig of wine before I nozzled in close to her to say goodnight. And my breath probably did smell like, you know, I had not showered in days. David: 2:22 But that is, I think, you the peak embarrassment of that. It&#39;s not BO, it&#39;s not bad breath, it&#39;s that you had a glove wine and peanut butter. It&#39;s that you had this the breath of the saddest middle-aged man of all of this. Yes. Gavin: 2:40 But at least she used a safe space to tell me, and I promise I did not lose my shit because we were in a safe space, and that&#39;s what I wanted to honor. But I did walk out dejected. David: 2:51 That is so funny. Safe spaces, I I have a family member who was telling me about like I was complimenting them. I was like, you know, your your your early 20s daughter and you are so close. You guys tell each other everything. Like I I very much hope that for my children. She she said, Well, just know that when they&#39;re that close to you and they&#39;re air safe space, they&#39;ll tell you everything. Everything, every disgusting, horrible thing. Um, that is fucking hilarious. And I I I&#39;m I can&#39;t, I&#39;m like, what is red wine and peanut butter smell like? I mean, clearly it smells like BO, but like I&#39;m curious to know what that actually smells like. Um, it was nasty. That is that is fucking hilarious. Um, we went through a we talked about um quite a few times on the podcast the kind of the changes in your kids&#39; lives that are so unceremonious are the most impactful, right? Like it&#39;s not kindergarten graduation that feels so impactful. It&#39;s like when they learn to walk or whatever. Um, I had one of those the other day. Um, my daughter, who is not not quite even two yet, she sleeps in her crib, just her in her crib. There&#39;s no toys, there&#39;s no blankets, there&#39;s no pillows, and she&#39;s still just in her crib. And she has a blanket on the chair next to her, and she requested it the other day. She&#39;s like, blanket, blanket. I said, All right, I&#39;ll put the blanket on top of you. And every night she&#39;s like, blanket. So now she&#39;s a girl who sleeps with a blanket, which again to the non-parents out there, sounds like no fucking big deal. But it hit me. I was like, you now sleep with a blanket, and that is a time now. That is the baby I have, or the girl, or whatever. So I had another one of those uh changes in our lives. Oh boy, just the and the clock keeps ticking, and you get older, and your breath starts smelling worse and worse. But wait, speaking of changes, Gaben, tell us there&#39;s a big change in your life. Is there not? Gavin: 4:38 Okay, I have not been talking about this, and I&#39;ve learned a lot in the process of not talking about it. But yes, I am now an elected member of my local board of ed. Yeah. David: 4:51 Congratulations. Gavin: 4:52 Uh thank uh or condolences. Um, thank you. David: 4:56 The fucking board of ed, uh, you see it all over. It&#39;s just full of fucking Nazis and book burners. Like, we gotta have somebody, even if they have bad breath, we gotta have somebody smart and logical like you on the board. Gavin: 5:07 I appreciate that. And I did learn a lot in the process of like talking about to people saying, hey, I my priorities are um putting kids first and of course financial responsibility because I have to do like budgeting stuff. But of course, I&#39;m not the one who makes the budget. I, with a committee, will help approve a budget that is, you know, submitted by teachers and administrators and the superintendent. So, you know, you don&#39;t have to be a complete math genius, you have to be smart enough. And um, and also reflecting the values of my town. I&#39;ve never sounded so conservative, but there were changes happening on our board that I didn&#39;t agree with, and they were mainly coming from politics outside of my rural community of Connecticut, and you know, like Floridian kind of politics, with all due respect to you. Sorry, don&#39;t respect my homeland. It&#39;s a fucking trash fire. And so I definitely uh uh stood up. And also per our podcast here, I did want to be a voice of diversity. And of course, where I live is very, very, very white. Um, but uh there is no voice for queer people. And I thought this is something that I would like to be able to contribute. And uh so, you know, I&#39;m that guy now. And I did win my election. I was um campaigning for months, and um which book are you gonna burn first? David: 6:25 Like which book is gonna be on the band list? Gavin: 6:28 Oh shit, I wish I had a really fast response to that. But you know what? Let me make a confession here to you, David, and our listener out there also, is I was um I I admit, I was sometimes worried that people would come after me based upon this podcast and based upon the things that have come out of our mouths. Because, hey, we love to fucking swear and we love to uh talk about our kids in the not most flattering um light. But then another friend of mine, a longtime listener, uh big fan, I know you&#39;re out there, Dave, reminded me, another Dave, reminded me, no, no, it&#39;s your fucking right to get out there and say those things. And what you&#39;re saying and what we do say is always meant to help make the world a better place. We don&#39;t mock people, we don&#39;t kick people who are down. We actually want to lift up parenting and the process of parenting and let everybody know that it&#39;s really tough, but you&#39;re not alone, and we love our kids more than anything. So, you know, don&#39;t fuck with my uh family. So um anyway, it&#39;s been a learning process all along the way. And uh yeah, there you go. David: 7:33 But now you&#39;re a big congresswoman. So I&#39;m very we&#39;re very excited to have we we know people. Gavin: 7:39 My pant suit and my and my kitten heels, you just wait for those inaugural pictures we&#39;ll put on and as surf. David: 7:47 Oh man, I can&#39;t wait. Oh, I can&#39;t wait. Um, speaking of uh dressing up and decorations, we at Katriarchs have had a wonderful year. This was our first year on the air. Thank you for being patient, uh, all of our listeners uh with our audio and and finding what the show is. Um we have gone, we&#39;ve had a new episode every single week since we started, which is a huge feat. We&#39;re gonna take a fucking break. We&#39;re taking a break because it&#39;s the holidays. It&#39;s already, you know, we just had Thanksgiving and we are about to go into Christmas, and it&#39;s just a crazy time. So we are gonna take a little bit of a break. We are gonna come back with brand new episodes on January 3rd, which is in 2024. Gavin: 8:30 For those of you who are how is that I mean, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a Star Trek episode in the in the far future. David: 8:36 2024. What? I know. So what we&#39;re gonna do is we&#39;re not gonna leave you hanging. We&#39;re still gonna release an episode um every week on Wednesdays as we normally do, except we&#39;re gonna re-re-airing four episodes that we love um or that our listener loves, and uh, you know, just give you a little little voice to listen to. But we will be back with brand new episodes starting January 3rd. So please come back to us. Please share the show. Please rate us, review us. You know how we go on and on on the other podcast. We want more listener, not just you, Dave. Uh so with that, let&#39;s move on to one of my favorite things we do, which is the top three list. Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my week. It is the top three travel snacks. Now, I will admit that I made this category simply because we are traveling next month quite a bit, and I need help because I only know a few travel snack hacks, um, which is why my top three is really just gonna be one because I didn&#39;t prep this well enough and I haven&#39;t traveled enough with kids to know. So I&#39;m gonna just tell you my only piece of advice. So it&#39;s my top, it&#39;s my number one, it&#39;s my number one, my number two, and then my number three is on long flights for snacks, better to have lots of little things instead of a lot of one thing. So if your kid loves goldfish, don&#39;t bring a giant, giant bag of goldfish on. Bring a little bag of goldfish, a little bag of raisins, a little bag of pretzels, a little bag of grapes, a little bag of this, a little bag of that. Because the process of seeing something new and trying a new thing draws that shit out. Yeah. So my only piece of advice, I have failed on my top three. Whatever, it&#39;s my first time. Gavin: 10:21 This isn&#39;t what I would also, I&#39;m interrupting clearly your top three, but I would also say that no matter how much we want to talk about snacking hacks, that it&#39;s really just like uh it&#39;s everything&#39;s just a fucking experiment. And you never know what&#39;s actually gonna happen. Uh because the because kids are unpredictable, but it isn&#39;t like you can reinvent the wheel. You just kind of like need to roll with the with the kids. And I would say your top one there is absolutely critical. It&#39;s just having a poo-poo platter of snacks and be prepared for everything, knowing that no matter how much preparation you have, it&#39;s all still gonna be a fucking disaster. David: 10:57 Yep. All right. So Gavin, why don&#39;t you give us a real top three list? Gavin: 11:00 At number three is a snack that my kids loved as little kids and they still snack on now as preteens. They&#39;re a complete mess because it gets all over them, but it is seaweed. Those little seaweed packets, they&#39;re so cheap, and you actually don&#39;t feel guilty whatsoever because they&#39;re um they&#39;re actually healthy for you, right? So those are my uh number three. Number two, those little fruit bar y things that kids gnaw on. Not like a granola bar, but I don&#39;t even remember what they&#39;re called. Do they still make them? They&#39;re like mini-sized for kids, and they the kids can hold on to them really well. And it was the same company that makes those squeezy packets. Um I guess I should have Googled that first, huh? David: 11:37 This was from the 1800s, I assume, right? You got these from the Wells Fargo wagon. Gavin: 11:42 And it was just a piece of elk muscle. Yes. Well, I&#39;m gonna come back to that one. But like those they they don&#39;t they can&#39;t eat them too quickly, and so they just hold on to them. But then they also like, you know, they&#39;re drooling all over the place. It&#39;s disgusting, of course. But um, and then also finally, dried apples, because dried apples are something you have to gnaw on for a while, so they take a while, and you can only eat so many of them. So believe it or not, the um dried apples were our uh number one go-to. David: 12:10 No, I believe that because if you notice in both of our answers, it&#39;s all about drawing out the process because it&#39;s not about enjoying the flight, it&#39;s about getting through the flight so we cannot be on the plane anymore. Um, excellent. So we&#39;re not gonna have a top three list again until 2024, Gavin. Are you gonna tell us what the top three list is for 2024? Gavin: 12:30 For the top of 2024, I want to hear the top three ways that you celebrated New Year&#39;s that didn&#39;t make you feel like an old hag. David: 12:37 Our guest this week is a funny dad on TikTok who actually started out making car content. And yes, I know he&#39;s straight. But when his videos about being a dad went viral, he veered out of his lane. See what I did there? And became the social media juggernaut he is today. From car shows to car seats, please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Tyler Champagne. Woo! Welcome. First of all, let&#39;s get this out of the way. You were not named by a stripper in Florida, right? SPEAKER_00: 13:10 No, I was named by a French Canadian woman from Canada. They can be the same. David: 13:17 But yes. unknown: 13:18 Right. David: 13:18 But yeah. Because I asked you in our pre-interview, I was like, this is your like your your handle, this is your social media name. You&#39;re like, nope, nope, this is my name. SPEAKER_00: 13:26 To be fair, I mean, most French Canadian women, most French Canadian women probably end up as strippers in Florida, anyways. David: 13:32 Luckily, my mom was not. So yeah. You&#39;re Canadian, which is uh maybe the first Canadian we&#39;ve had on this show. I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s true or not, but you&#39;re like Canadian Canadian. You&#39;re like talking about like backyard hockey rinks, winter sports Canadian. Is that true? SPEAKER_00: 13:49 Oh yeah, yeah. I played hockey pretty much my whole life. Um grew up with backyard rinks in my neighborhood, you know, go home when uh when the street lights come on, type of thing. It&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s like like from a children&#39;s book, yeah. Gavin: 14:01 Which is fantastic. And you live now where, and do you still play hockey there where you live in Canadia? SPEAKER_00: 14:07 I live just outside of Toronto, so uh about an hour outside of Toronto. Well, depending on traffic, I mean you can an hour outside of Toronto is still in Toronto, if you&#39;re if you&#39;re being honest. Um, but as the bird flies, or the crow flies, I don&#39;t know anything about birds, um, it&#39;s about an hour, and I do still play hockey. I played hockey a couple days ago, actually. I play in a men&#39;s beer league, um, which is I mean, it&#39;s a complete disaster, if if we&#39;re being if we&#39;re being quite honest, because it&#39;s just men and fathers in their 30s and 40s fighting like children on the getting into fixed fights. Not me. I&#39;m not that oh yeah, it&#39;s crazy. It&#39;s like we all...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts us off with some shade from his &apos;tween, we talked about school board elections and how Gaytriarchs won a seat at the table, and this week we are joined by straight Canadian car enthusiast turned TikTok comedy Dad Tyler Champa]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts us off with some shade from his &apos;tween, we talked about school board elections and how Gaytriarchs won a seat at the table, and this week we are joined by straight Canadian car enthusiast turned TikTok comedy Dad Tyler Champagne who keeps trying to convince us that&apos;s his real name.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 As a parent and as a parent, period. It&#39;s that that I I had an idea, but it didn&#39;t come out very well. David: 0:13 It&#39;s kind of a metaphor for your life, isn&#39;t it? Fuck off. And this is GTRX. Gavin: 0:33 So we have a safe space in our house. Uh my kids are now getting to, and what I mean by that, my kids are now getting to an age where I can actually have a logical conversation with them and also be able to say, hey, I need to be able to say something to you. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re calm. It&#39;s not going to be something you&#39;re going to like, but I but can I say something? And, you know, it&#39;s we&#39;re in a safe space. And my daughter in particular has been like, okay. And it&#39;s usually about, frankly, her grades and how she doesn&#39;t care about her grades or, you know, this, that, and the other. Or talking about the ins and outs of being a middle schooler with friends and me giving advice, which of course I give way too much fucking advice, and she doesn&#39;t want to hear any of it. Well, the other night, I am uh saying goodnight to her, and we&#39;re just like having some last words and whatnot, and she&#39;s all tucked in, and I&#39;m, you know, making her a burrito and tucking the blanket in all nice and tight and cute. She goes, Dad, are we in a safe space? I&#39;m like, Well, of course we are. We&#39;re in like the safest space. She goes, When was the last time you brushed your teeth? And I&#39;m like, uh, bitch crossing. Oh man. You know, I brush my teeth at least twice a day. She goes, Oh. Then maybe, oh no, I shouldn&#39;t say it it&#39;s it&#39;s rude. And I&#39;m like, oh no. Oh no, you&#39;re gonna say that now. Yeah. Oh no. We&#39;re in it, but I was able, you know, like, no, no, no, we&#39;re in a safe space. Go ahead. She goes, Oh, then maybe when was the last time you showered? And I&#39;m like, and we&#39;re done here. Oh we&#39;re done here. My I do believe it was because I had just taken a big scoop of peanut butter and a swig of wine before I nozzled in close to her to say goodnight. And my breath probably did smell like, you know, I had not showered in days. David: 2:22 But that is, I think, you the peak embarrassment of that. It&#39;s not BO, it&#39;s not bad breath, it&#39;s that you had a glove wine and peanut butter. It&#39;s that you had this the breath of the saddest middle-aged man of all of this. Yes. Gavin: 2:40 But at least she used a safe space to tell me, and I promise I did not lose my shit because we were in a safe space, and that&#39;s what I wanted to honor. But I did walk out dejected. David: 2:51 That is so funny. Safe spaces, I I have a family member who was telling me about like I was complimenting them. I was like, you know, your your your early 20s daughter and you are so close. You guys tell each other everything. Like I I very much hope that for my children. She she said, Well, just know that when they&#39;re that close to you and they&#39;re air safe space, they&#39;ll tell you everything. Everything, every disgusting, horrible thing. Um, that is fucking hilarious. And I I I&#39;m I can&#39;t, I&#39;m like, what is red wine and peanut butter smell like? I mean, clearly it smells like BO, but like I&#39;m curious to know what that actually smells like. Um, it was nasty. That is that is fucking hilarious. Um, we went through a we talked about um quite a few times on the podcast the kind of the changes in your kids&#39; lives that are so unceremonious are the most impactful, right? Like it&#39;s not kindergarten graduation that feels so impactful. It&#39;s like when they learn to walk or whatever. Um, I had one of those the other day. Um, my daughter, who is not not quite even two yet, she sleeps in her crib, just her in her crib. There&#39;s no toys, there&#39;s no blankets, there&#39;s no pillows, and she&#39;s still just in her crib. And she has a blanket on the chair next to her, and she requested it the other day. She&#39;s like, blanket, blanket. I said, All right, I&#39;ll put the blanket on top of you. And every night she&#39;s like, blanket. So now she&#39;s a girl who sleeps with a blanket, which again to the non-parents out there, sounds like no fucking big deal. But it hit me. I was like, you now sleep with a blanket, and that is a time now. That is the baby I have, or the girl, or whatever. So I had another one of those uh changes in our lives. Oh boy, just the and the clock keeps ticking, and you get older, and your breath starts smelling worse and worse. But wait, speaking of changes, Gaben, tell us there&#39;s a big change in your life. Is there not? Gavin: 4:38 Okay, I have not been talking about this, and I&#39;ve learned a lot in the process of not talking about it. But yes, I am now an elected member of my local board of ed. Yeah. David: 4:51 Congratulations. Gavin: 4:52 Uh thank uh or condolences. Um, thank you. David: 4:56 The fucking board of ed, uh, you see it all over. It&#39;s just full of fucking Nazis and book burners. Like, we gotta have somebody, even if they have bad breath, we gotta have somebody smart and logical like you on the board. Gavin: 5:07 I appreciate that. And I did learn a lot in the process of like talking about to people saying, hey, I my priorities are um putting kids first and of course financial responsibility because I have to do like budgeting stuff. But of course, I&#39;m not the one who makes the budget. I, with a committee, will help approve a budget that is, you know, submitted by teachers and administrators and the superintendent. So, you know, you don&#39;t have to be a complete math genius, you have to be smart enough. And um, and also reflecting the values of my town. I&#39;ve never sounded so conservative, but there were changes happening on our board that I didn&#39;t agree with, and they were mainly coming from politics outside of my rural community of Connecticut, and you know, like Floridian kind of politics, with all due respect to you. Sorry, don&#39;t respect my homeland. It&#39;s a fucking trash fire. And so I definitely uh uh stood up. And also per our podcast here, I did want to be a voice of diversity. And of course, where I live is very, very, very white. Um, but uh there is no voice for queer people. And I thought this is something that I would like to be able to contribute. And uh so, you know, I&#39;m that guy now. And I did win my election. I was um campaigning for months, and um which book are you gonna burn first? David: 6:25 Like which book is gonna be on the band list? Gavin: 6:28 Oh shit, I wish I had a really fast response to that. But you know what? Let me make a confession here to you, David, and our listener out there also, is I was um I I admit, I was sometimes worried that people would come after me based upon this podcast and based upon the things that have come out of our mouths. Because, hey, we love to fucking swear and we love to uh talk about our kids in the not most flattering um light. But then another friend of mine, a longtime listener, uh big fan, I know you&#39;re out there, Dave, reminded me, another Dave, reminded me, no, no, it&#39;s your fucking right to get out there and say those things. And what you&#39;re saying and what we do say is always meant to help make the world a better place. We don&#39;t mock people, we don&#39;t kick people who are down. We actually want to lift up parenting and the process of parenting and let everybody know that it&#39;s really tough, but you&#39;re not alone, and we love our kids more than anything. So, you know, don&#39;t fuck with my uh family. So um anyway, it&#39;s been a learning process all along the way. And uh yeah, there you go. David: 7:33 But now you&#39;re a big congresswoman. So I&#39;m very we&#39;re very excited to have we we know people. Gavin: 7:39 My pant suit and my and my kitten heels, you just wait for those inaugural pictures we&#39;ll put on and as surf. David: 7:47 Oh man, I can&#39;t wait. Oh, I can&#39;t wait. Um, speaking of uh dressing up and decorations, we at Katriarchs have had a wonderful year. This was our first year on the air. Thank you for being patient, uh, all of our listeners uh with our audio and and finding what the show is. Um we have gone, we&#39;ve had a new episode every single week since we started, which is a huge feat. We&#39;re gonna take a fucking break. We&#39;re taking a break because it&#39;s the holidays. It&#39;s already, you know, we just had Thanksgiving and we are about to go into Christmas, and it&#39;s just a crazy time. So we are gonna take a little bit of a break. We are gonna come back with brand new episodes on January 3rd, which is in 2024. Gavin: 8:30 For those of you who are how is that I mean, that&#39;s a that&#39;s a Star Trek episode in the in the far future. David: 8:36 2024. What? I know. So what we&#39;re gonna do is we&#39;re not gonna leave you hanging. We&#39;re still gonna release an episode um every week on Wednesdays as we normally do, except we&#39;re gonna re-re-airing four episodes that we love um or that our listener loves, and uh, you know, just give you a little little voice to listen to. But we will be back with brand new episodes starting January 3rd. So please come back to us. Please share the show. Please rate us, review us. You know how we go on and on on the other podcast. We want more listener, not just you, Dave. Uh so with that, let&#39;s move on to one of my favorite things we do, which is the top three list. Gatriarch, top three list, three, two, one. So this week is my week. It is the top three travel snacks. Now, I will admit that I made this category simply because we are traveling next month quite a bit, and I need help because I only know a few travel snack hacks, um, which is why my top three is really just gonna be one because I didn&#39;t prep this well enough and I haven&#39;t traveled enough with kids to know. So I&#39;m gonna just tell you my only piece of advice. So it&#39;s my top, it&#39;s my number one, it&#39;s my number one, my number two, and then my number three is on long flights for snacks, better to have lots of little things instead of a lot of one thing. So if your kid loves goldfish, don&#39;t bring a giant, giant bag of goldfish on. Bring a little bag of goldfish, a little bag of raisins, a little bag of pretzels, a little bag of grapes, a little bag of this, a little bag of that. Because the process of seeing something new and trying a new thing draws that shit out. Yeah. So my only piece of advice, I have failed on my top three. Whatever, it&#39;s my first time. Gavin: 10:21 This isn&#39;t what I would also, I&#39;m interrupting clearly your top three, but I would also say that no matter how much we want to talk about snacking hacks, that it&#39;s really just like uh it&#39;s everything&#39;s just a fucking experiment. And you never know what&#39;s actually gonna happen. Uh because the because kids are unpredictable, but it isn&#39;t like you can reinvent the wheel. You just kind of like need to roll with the with the kids. And I would say your top one there is absolutely critical. It&#39;s just having a poo-poo platter of snacks and be prepared for everything, knowing that no matter how much preparation you have, it&#39;s all still gonna be a fucking disaster. David: 10:57 Yep. All right. So Gavin, why don&#39;t you give us a real top three list? Gavin: 11:00 At number three is a snack that my kids loved as little kids and they still snack on now as preteens. They&#39;re a complete mess because it gets all over them, but it is seaweed. Those little seaweed packets, they&#39;re so cheap, and you actually don&#39;t feel guilty whatsoever because they&#39;re um they&#39;re actually healthy for you, right? So those are my uh number three. Number two, those little fruit bar y things that kids gnaw on. Not like a granola bar, but I don&#39;t even remember what they&#39;re called. Do they still make them? They&#39;re like mini-sized for kids, and they the kids can hold on to them really well. And it was the same company that makes those squeezy packets. Um I guess I should have Googled that first, huh? David: 11:37 This was from the 1800s, I assume, right? You got these from the Wells Fargo wagon. Gavin: 11:42 And it was just a piece of elk muscle. Yes. Well, I&#39;m gonna come back to that one. But like those they they don&#39;t they can&#39;t eat them too quickly, and so they just hold on to them. But then they also like, you know, they&#39;re drooling all over the place. It&#39;s disgusting, of course. But um, and then also finally, dried apples, because dried apples are something you have to gnaw on for a while, so they take a while, and you can only eat so many of them. So believe it or not, the um dried apples were our uh number one go-to. David: 12:10 No, I believe that because if you notice in both of our answers, it&#39;s all about drawing out the process because it&#39;s not about enjoying the flight, it&#39;s about getting through the flight so we cannot be on the plane anymore. Um, excellent. So we&#39;re not gonna have a top three list again until 2024, Gavin. Are you gonna tell us what the top three list is for 2024? Gavin: 12:30 For the top of 2024, I want to hear the top three ways that you celebrated New Year&#39;s that didn&#39;t make you feel like an old hag. David: 12:37 Our guest this week is a funny dad on TikTok who actually started out making car content. And yes, I know he&#39;s straight. But when his videos about being a dad went viral, he veered out of his lane. See what I did there? And became the social media juggernaut he is today. From car shows to car seats, please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Tyler Champagne. Woo! Welcome. First of all, let&#39;s get this out of the way. You were not named by a stripper in Florida, right? SPEAKER_00: 13:10 No, I was named by a French Canadian woman from Canada. They can be the same. David: 13:17 But yes. unknown: 13:18 Right. David: 13:18 But yeah. Because I asked you in our pre-interview, I was like, this is your like your your handle, this is your social media name. You&#39;re like, nope, nope, this is my name. SPEAKER_00: 13:26 To be fair, I mean, most French Canadian women, most French Canadian women probably end up as strippers in Florida, anyways. David: 13:32 Luckily, my mom was not. So yeah. You&#39;re Canadian, which is uh maybe the first Canadian we&#39;ve had on this show. I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know if that&#39;s true or not, but you&#39;re like Canadian Canadian. You&#39;re like talking about like backyard hockey rinks, winter sports Canadian. Is that true? SPEAKER_00: 13:49 Oh yeah, yeah. I played hockey pretty much my whole life. Um grew up with backyard rinks in my neighborhood, you know, go home when uh when the street lights come on, type of thing. It&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s like like from a children&#39;s book, yeah. Gavin: 14:01 Which is fantastic. And you live now where, and do you still play hockey there where you live in Canadia? SPEAKER_00: 14:07 I live just outside of Toronto, so uh about an hour outside of Toronto. Well, depending on traffic, I mean you can an hour outside of Toronto is still in Toronto, if you&#39;re if you&#39;re being honest. Um, but as the bird flies, or the crow flies, I don&#39;t know anything about birds, um, it&#39;s about an hour, and I do still play hockey. I played hockey a couple days ago, actually. I play in a men&#39;s beer league, um, which is I mean, it&#39;s a complete disaster, if if we&#39;re being if we&#39;re being quite honest, because it&#39;s just men and fathers in their 30s and 40s fighting like children on the getting into fixed fights. Not me. I&#39;m not that oh yeah, it&#39;s crazy. It&#39;s like we all...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts us off with some shade from his &apos;tween, we talked about school board elections and how Gaytriarchs won a seat at the table, and this week we are joined by straight Canadian car enthusiast turned TikTok comedy Dad Tyler Champagne who keeps trying to convince us that&apos;s his real name.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 As a parent and as a parent, period. It&#39;s that that I I had an idea, but it didn&#39;t come out very well. David: 0:13 It&#39;s kind of a metaphor for your life, isn&#39;t it? Fuck off. And this is GTRX. Gavin: 0:33 So we have a safe space in our house. Uh my kids are now getting to, and what I mean by that, my kids are now getting to an age where I can actually have a logical conversation with them and also be able to say, hey, I need to be able to say something to you. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re calm. It&#39;s not going to be something you&#39;re going to like, but I but can I say something? And, you know, it&#39;s we&#39;re in a safe space. And my daughter in particular has been like, okay. And it&#39;s usually about, frankly, her grades and how she doesn&#39;t care about her grades or, you know, this, that, and the other. Or talking about the ins and outs of being a middle schooler with friends and me giving advice, which of course I give way too much fucking advice, and she doesn&#39;t want to hear any of it. Well, the other night, I am uh saying goodnight to her, and we&#39;re just like having some last words and whatnot, and she&#39;s all tucked in, and I&#39;m, you know, making her a burrito and tucking the blanket in all nice and tight and cute. She goes, Dad, are we in a safe space? I&#39;m like, Well, of course we are. We&#39;re in like the safest space. She goes, When was the last time you brushed your teeth? And I&#39;m like, uh, bitch crossing. Oh man. You know, I brush my teeth at least twice a day. She goes, Oh. Then maybe, oh no, I shouldn&#39;t say it it&#39;s it&#39;s rude. And I&#39;m like, oh no. Oh no, you&#39;re gonna say that now. Yeah. Oh no. We&#39;re in it, but I was able, you know, like, no, no, no, we&#39;re in a safe space. Go ahead. She goes, Oh, then maybe when was the last time you showered? And I&#39;m like, and we&#39;re done here. Oh we&#39;re done here. My I do believe it was because I had just taken a big scoop of peanut butter and a swig of wine before I nozzled in close to her to say goodnight. And my breath probably did smell like, you know, I had not showered in days. David: 2:22 But that is, I think, you the peak embarrassment of that. It&#39;s not BO, it&#39;s not bad breath, it&#39;s that you had a glove wine and peanut butter. It&#39;s that you had this the breath of the saddest middle-aged man of all of this. Yes. Gavin: 2:40 But at least she used a safe space to tell me, and I promise I did not lose my shit because we were in a safe space, and that&#39;s what I wanted to honor. But I did walk out dejected. David: 2:51 That is so funny. Safe spaces, I I have a family member who was telling me about like I was complimenting them. I was like, you know, your your your early 20s daughter and you are so close. You guys tell each other everything. Like I I very much hope that for my children. She she said, Well, just know that when they&#39;re that close to you and they&#39;re air safe space, they&#39;ll tell you everything. Everything, every disgusting, horrible thing. Um, that is fucking hilarious. And I I I&#39;m I can&#39;t, I&#39;m like, what is red wine and peanut butter smell like? I mean, clearly it smells like BO, but like I&#39;m curious to know what that actually smells like. Um, it was nasty. That is that is fucking hilarious. Um, we went through a we talked about um quite a few times on the podcast the kind of the changes in your kids&#39; lives that are so unceremonious are the most impactful, right? Like it&#39;s not kindergarte]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin starts us off with some shade from his &apos;tween, we talked about school board elections and how Gaytriarchs won a seat at the table, and this week we are joined by straight Canadian car enthusiast turned TikTok comedy Dad Tyler Champagne who keeps trying to convince us that&apos;s his real name.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 As a parent and as a parent, period. It&#39;s that that I I had an idea, but it didn&#39;t come out very well. David: 0:13 It&#39;s kind of a metaphor for your life, isn&#39;t it? Fuck off. And this is GTRX. Gavin: 0:33 So we have a safe space in our house. Uh my kids are now getting to, and what I mean by that, my kids are now getting to an age where I can actually have a logical conversation with them and also be able to say, hey, I need to be able to say something to you. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re calm. It&#39;s not going to be something you&]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Peter Linder, route captain of the NYC Pride March</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-peter-linder-route-captain-of-the-nyc-pride-march/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Nov 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we are getting ready for the HoliGays, we rank our top 3 dad hack fails, and are joined by route captain of the NYC Pride March Peter Linder, who talks to us about being a bi-Dad, what he does as an emergency relief worker, and explains why the Pride March doesn&apos;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So the other day we were just taking down our Halloween costume. David: 0:09 I really I really believed in you too. And I saw your face just crumble. And this is Gatriarch. Gavin: 0:32 So the other day when we were just taking down our Halloween decorations, because that&#39;s how we roll in the middle of November. God, this year, every year I swear I&#39;m going to be more on top of it. Um I just don&#39;t really care that much about decorations. I know. How are the ways that you and I are completely the opposite? I mean, you, your, your barfing skeletons and keg stand skeletons have been long gone. David: 0:54 I&#39;ve already started putting plans on paper for next year&#39;s Halloween decoration. I&#39;m already sourcing materials, and it is literally November 15th. Gavin: 1:03 You are worse than Target putting up Christmas before September 30th. But okay, so anyway, we have needless to say, we do not have anything up. Although I do not believe in decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. That&#39;s our family tradition, you know. But it is um it at the same time, my kids are saying, why don&#39;t we have decorations up? Why don&#39;t we have decorations up? And I&#39;m like, you guys know me by now. Like, I don&#39;t know. If you want it, make it happen. You know, it&#39;s all it&#39;s all falling on my shoulders. But anyway, I wonder, are you already getting carried away with what&#39;s going to be going on at your house in the next couple of weeks? David: 1:37 So I have a husband who is very different than me in a lot of, I think, healthy ways, where we balance each other out, we meet in the middle a little bit, right? I&#39;m I&#39;m the chaos and he&#39;s a little bit of the stability. But he I, as we know, Halloween and Christmas are my jam. And so I get very excited. Gavin: 1:52 So I want you are home goods wrapped up. David: 1:55 I&#39;m a home goods homo. And I so I want Halloween up like starting in September, and I want it up for a week after Halloween, and then I want to go right to Christmas. He is a no no-no. We do October 1st is when Halloween happens, and then there is a month, there is literally a month or three or three and a half weeks of like just generic fall before we&#39;re allowed to put up Christmas, which is the day after Thanksgiving, which I think is. Gavin: 2:21 I can endorse this. Wait, do you have any Thanksgiving decorations? Be grateful. Oh my god, it&#39;s my season of just science that say be grateful, dude. David: 2:29 We have a we have a giant ceramic turkey that holds napkins that sits in the middle of our table. And then we have like lots of like fake foliage and shit that goes in the house. But like, no, but so that&#39;s what we settled on was like there&#39;s this generic fall moment and it and November. And then, you know, as soon as that last bite of turkey happens, the tree is up, like we&#39;re ready to go. So it&#39;s balanced me out a little bit. Like, I get it. Now it&#39;s not gonna be two and a half months of Christmas, even though that&#39;s what I want. But I will say, as somebody who loves all these so much, I get very frustrated about what you&#39;re talking about. And I see in the outline about seeing things before I want to see them. So in September, all of the Christmas decorations at like Lowe&#39;s and Costco and stuff were already up. So I do this weird, weird personal thing where when I walk into those stores and I don&#39;t want to start thinking about Christmas yet because I&#39;m still I still want to maintain the the the purity of Halloween. And I just like literally put my hands on my face and I will literally walk through the store like a psychopath and avoid those areas because I don&#39;t even want to, I don&#39;t want to hear Christmas music. Not because I hate it, because I don&#39;t I like when I&#39;m ready for Christmas, I want to fully let it into my body. Gavin: 3:38 Um I think this is pretty universal. Yeah, yeah. I mean that&#39;s I love the idea of you walking through from Homo Goods to Homo Depot with your blinders up though. David: 3:48 But uh Yeah, and then I&#39;m just looking down at all the contractors&#39; packages. That way it&#39;s just you know, it&#39;s a healthy balance. Gavin: 3:55 Absolutely. Um, are your kids already thinking about like their lists and whatnot? And in fact, is your daughter is she into it? Does she get it? David: 4:04 No, she doesn&#39;t get it. So she literally gets nothing from us. We have been very smart about the first couple years of our kids&#39; lives. They don&#39;t know what a birthday is, they don&#39;t know what Christmas is, and their grandparents are going to be giving them gifts. So we get them absolutely nothing. This is the first year my son, he&#39;s four-ish, he&#39;ll be like four and a half soon. He kind of understands that Christmas is a time that he&#39;ll get some presents. So he&#39;s like casually mentioned we&#39;d been out and he&#39;s like, Oh, I want that. I&#39;d be like, Great. Um, you know, maybe for Christmas. He&#39;s like, Okay, I&#39;m gonna ask for it for Christmas. So he started to kind of put that together. Um, no, the little ones, she&#39;s dumb as rock, so she&#39;s not getting it anywhere. unknown: 4:39 Right. Gavin: 4:40 I have always have had a complete dichotomy in my kids where um years ago, for instance, I asked my son, so what do you want for Christmas, buddy? And he goes, a purple pillow. Oh, and I thought, oh my god, so sweet. I&#39;ll buy you a purple pillow now. Like you don&#39;t have to wait for that. Meanwhile, I ask my daughter, and she I&#39;ve made this reference before, probably for her birthday, because my daughter knows how to consume, as we&#39;ve already established. And she pulls out that list and it goes down to the floor and across it goes down to the floor and across the floor. David: 5:13 Have you seen that video of the little boy who they that when they they jokingly wrap a banana and put it as a Christmas gift and they think it&#39;s gonna be a hilarious video? And they film him and he opens it and he goes, Oh, a banana! And he&#39;s like so excited, like earnestly excited. He&#39;s just so thrilled, and the parents are feeling guilty because they were trying to make it a joke. Um, have that kind of joy. Yeah, exactly. He&#39;s got that kind of gave in lodge gratitude that we all want. Gavin: 5:37 Simple, just simple. So I am uh preoccupied this year also with um my kids are getting, you know, a little older and they don&#39;t need stuff. I mean, they open everything and then they just go back to their iPads and don&#39;t want to do anything anymore. They just want to go, you know, watch other people live their lives on TikTok and YouTube. And so I&#39;m hoping that this year we might be able to do the graduation from stuff to experiences, even though I think I&#39;m late to this in comparison to a lot of other people. But like, God, enough of the stuff. Let&#39;s have experiences. Then again, that&#39;s part of me justifying being able to afford a vacation. And when in reality, I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t think we can afford the vacation either. David: 6:13 So we did that with my my my very small kind of like um the people I spend Christmas with usually. We tr made the change from gift giving to going on a trip together like like eight years ago, and it was like the best thing for somebody who loves gifts and actually enjoy gig gift giving. I think it&#39;s a fun thing. It was such a such a level up. And it&#39;s like, oh, we&#39;re going a cruise this year, we&#39;re gonna just rent this hotel on the beach this year, we&#39;re just gonna go to somebody&#39;s house and have a you know a little sleepover thing. Like it could be very simple, but man, is that so much better? Is that with friends or with family? No, with my family, with my mom and my brother. Gavin: 6:50 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, great. Especially when somebody else pays for it. Just kidding. I mean, sort of, but hopefully it&#39;s the best. So, how about our top three list, huh? Gate three marks, top three list, three, two, one. David: 7:04 Are you laughing at me? A little sharp at that last note. Yeah, I&#39;m laughing at that. That last note was a little sharp. Yeah. Um, so this is your list this week. What&#39;s our list? Gavin: 7:12 This is well, I feel like there is so much bad advice out there, and then also so often I just laugh at the advice, and sometimes I take the advice. And there have been some bad dad hacks in my parenting journey. So, number three for me was a DIY pin the tail on the donkey, but it was pin the tail, excuse me, pin the hair braid to Elsa. And I did my dad hack, which was drawing Elsa, and I cannot draw. And my four five-year-old daughter at that birthday party was like, Dad, that&#39;s not Elsa. And I&#39;m like, that is Elsa, go pin the fucking braid on Elsa. So uh if you&#39;re not an uh uh an artist, I don&#39;t know that I ever suggest trying to draw a three by three head of Elsa and then 10 little braids to pin on her. That went south. Uh, number two, just recently I tried to make, I tried to adapt a New York Times recipe that was meant to be like a puree of some kind. It was a dad hack of like, hey, sneak some more vegetables into something with the gnocchi, and right, so I blended up a bunch of veggies that my kids didn&#39;t want to eat, and I made it like gnocchi surprise. And they were like, Dad, oh gosh, just gnocchi surprise just turned with baby food. And my son was like, Dad, this is baby food. And I&#39;m like, well, that hack went awry. And then number one, in general, I have gone down the route of trying to figure out dad hacks for cultural experiences at museums over and over again. Usually it just comes down to scavenger hunts. And most recently, I had one of those where my kids were like just demoralized. And I was like, okay, kids, I won&#39;t force you to do another charming dad hack of a museum scavenger hunt anymore. Instead, I don&#39;t know what the alternative is gonna be, but uh no more DIY scavenger hunts. What about you? David: 9:14 So, number three for me, well, the advice was uh when you have a new kid, come in, you know, so you have a kid and then you have your second baby and they&#39;re gonna come into the house that you have the baby bring a gift for the existing kid as like a way to be like, oh, the baby&#39;s here. My son couldn&#39;t give a fuck less. She&#39;s like, oh what? This baby gave me a gift. Fuck this baby. I don&#39;t want it to cry anymore. So that was a total failure. Um, number two was somebody give us the idea of an idea of when you&#39;re on the plane and your kids get bored, bring a pack of post-it notes, and you could just put post-it notes in the back of the seat and rearrange them. Well, what they don&#39;t tell you is that the kids jam their fingers on the back of the seat, so then you&#39;re spending the whole time being like, don&#39;t push too hard, apologizing each other, apologizing, and then you&#39;re holding the seat so the person doesn&#39;t feel it, but the person does feel it, but then the kids over the game&#39;s over in 30 seconds, it&#39;s a nightmare. Don&#39;t do it. Gavin: 10:06 That was pointless. David: 10:08 And the last uh number one, uh dad hack that totally fucking failed. We saw this on TikTok where when your kid is having a tantrum, that if you just tap on yourself in some sort of a rhythm that that will like lure them into just like calming down and understanding it, and we would do it to our son. He&#39;s screaming, he&#39;s having a fit, and we&#39;re like, one, uh, and he&#39;s like, What are you doing? SPEAKER_02: 10:33 Stop it, Erica Badu. What the fuck are you doing? David: 10:37 And so that was a total fucking failure. That&#39;s funny. I like that. Yeah, I like that. Uh, so next week, next week, uh, we are traveling for Christmas. We are going on uh two six-hour flights uh to visit our family in LL. And I want to kill myself. So I&#39;m actually just gonna source information from our listeners, and I want to know what are your top three travel snacks? Gavin: 11:01 Okay. Our next guest is a savior in many different ways. He&#39;s a bisexual father of two, married to a woman, an emergency relief worker who flies into devastated areas to help people get back onto their feet, and has also been for years the root captain of the New York City Pride March, who also undoubtedly helps people get back onto their feet or um stilettos, as it were. Please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Peter from NYC Pride. Peter, thank you for coming, demeaning yourself on our dumb little podcast. David: 11:38 Yeah, you&#39;re you&#39;re I think you&#39;re overqualified to be here, if I&#39;m being honest. You might need to just hit and record right now. SPEAKER_00: 11:44 Well, I I don&#39;t know if uh your house was like that, but this morning I woke up to someone screaming about a hairbrush and tears coming down the cheeks, and uh the brother antagonizing by playing uh Nerf gun at the one screaming about the hairbrush. So it&#39;s been a day and uh beginning to it. David: 12:05 So yeah, I have a I I have a four-year-old boy who torments my two-year-old girl, and then he will turn to me when she like cries or screams or pushes him away as as evidence of how what a monster she is. And I&#39;m like, I watched you antagonize her, bro. I saw it happen. Gavin: 12:21 And may I say that Peter does not have toddlers either, but it&#39;s still the same behavior. Yeah, so it doesn&#39;t change, is what you&#39;re saying. SPEAKER_00: 12:28 This was 11-year-old crying about a hairbrush and a seven-year-old uh with a nerf and so no, it does not get better, in fact, David. Gavin: 12:37 If there&#39;s one thing better, yeah, if there&#39;s one thing Gatriarchs is teaching the world, it doesn&#39;t get better. It gets worse and worse and worse, and then it ends. So that is clearly a way that your kids have been driving you crazy of late, but at least uh they&#39;re not toddlers in the house right now while we&#39;re recording this, huh? SPEAKER_00: 12:54 Oh no, but soon there will be pickup time. Gavin: 12:57 Uh oh yeah. So let&#39;s get so let&#39;s get started just in case we uh run into pickup time. So uh so the main reason that I wanted to uh have you here on the podcast is that it is so fascinating to me to know an dare I say, I&#39;m sure the NYC Pride March is not hierarchical, but come on. You are way up the ladder of the NYC Pride March, and I just want to hear all the tea and how it all happened. What is your title at the March? SPEAKER_00: 13:26 So uh as of last year, I took over as the route captain. Uh so uh the way the NYC Pride March is set up, we have a volunteer director, um, then we have two paid staff uh administrators that help produce the event, and then we have volunteer leaders, and uh I&#39;m one of them uh that oversees a section of the march. So my job is to ensure that from the moment the marchers step off to when they end, that they have a good safe and good experience, and then those along the route have a safe and good experience as well. Gavin: 14:05 Well, so you&#39;re certainly responsible for like hundreds of thousands of people&#39;s safety and pleasure. David: 14:12 But I I can tell you where you shouldn&#39;t go. I should just don&#39;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms because I can tell you a lot of dreams have been lost in that building, including my own. SPEAKER_00: 14:23 But it&#39;s done with the work of hundreds and hundreds of volunteers. Um I just am the...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we are getting ready for the HoliGays, we rank our top 3 dad hack fails, and are joined by route captain of the NYC Pride March Peter Linder, who talks to us about being a bi-Dad, what he does as an emergency relief worker, and explains why th]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we are getting ready for the HoliGays, we rank our top 3 dad hack fails, and are joined by route captain of the NYC Pride March Peter Linder, who talks to us about being a bi-Dad, what he does as an emergency relief worker, and explains why the Pride March doesn&apos;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So the other day we were just taking down our Halloween costume. David: 0:09 I really I really believed in you too. And I saw your face just crumble. And this is Gatriarch. Gavin: 0:32 So the other day when we were just taking down our Halloween decorations, because that&#39;s how we roll in the middle of November. God, this year, every year I swear I&#39;m going to be more on top of it. Um I just don&#39;t really care that much about decorations. I know. How are the ways that you and I are completely the opposite? I mean, you, your, your barfing skeletons and keg stand skeletons have been long gone. David: 0:54 I&#39;ve already started putting plans on paper for next year&#39;s Halloween decoration. I&#39;m already sourcing materials, and it is literally November 15th. Gavin: 1:03 You are worse than Target putting up Christmas before September 30th. But okay, so anyway, we have needless to say, we do not have anything up. Although I do not believe in decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. That&#39;s our family tradition, you know. But it is um it at the same time, my kids are saying, why don&#39;t we have decorations up? Why don&#39;t we have decorations up? And I&#39;m like, you guys know me by now. Like, I don&#39;t know. If you want it, make it happen. You know, it&#39;s all it&#39;s all falling on my shoulders. But anyway, I wonder, are you already getting carried away with what&#39;s going to be going on at your house in the next couple of weeks? David: 1:37 So I have a husband who is very different than me in a lot of, I think, healthy ways, where we balance each other out, we meet in the middle a little bit, right? I&#39;m I&#39;m the chaos and he&#39;s a little bit of the stability. But he I, as we know, Halloween and Christmas are my jam. And so I get very excited. Gavin: 1:52 So I want you are home goods wrapped up. David: 1:55 I&#39;m a home goods homo. And I so I want Halloween up like starting in September, and I want it up for a week after Halloween, and then I want to go right to Christmas. He is a no no-no. We do October 1st is when Halloween happens, and then there is a month, there is literally a month or three or three and a half weeks of like just generic fall before we&#39;re allowed to put up Christmas, which is the day after Thanksgiving, which I think is. Gavin: 2:21 I can endorse this. Wait, do you have any Thanksgiving decorations? Be grateful. Oh my god, it&#39;s my season of just science that say be grateful, dude. David: 2:29 We have a we have a giant ceramic turkey that holds napkins that sits in the middle of our table. And then we have like lots of like fake foliage and shit that goes in the house. But like, no, but so that&#39;s what we settled on was like there&#39;s this generic fall moment and it and November. And then, you know, as soon as that last bite of turkey happens, the tree is up, like we&#39;re ready to go. So it&#39;s balanced me out a little bit. Like, I get it. Now it&#39;s not gonna be two and a half months of Christmas, even though that&#39;s what I want. But I will say, as somebody who loves all these so much, I get very frustrated about what you&#39;re talking about. And I see in the outline about seeing things before I want to see them. So in September, all of the Christmas decorations at like Lowe&#39;s and Costco and stuff were already up. So I do this weird, weird personal thing where when I walk into those stores and I don&#39;t want to start thinking about Christmas yet because I&#39;m still I still want to maintain the the the purity of Halloween. And I just like literally put my hands on my face and I will literally walk through the store like a psychopath and avoid those areas because I don&#39;t even want to, I don&#39;t want to hear Christmas music. Not because I hate it, because I don&#39;t I like when I&#39;m ready for Christmas, I want to fully let it into my body. Gavin: 3:38 Um I think this is pretty universal. Yeah, yeah. I mean that&#39;s I love the idea of you walking through from Homo Goods to Homo Depot with your blinders up though. David: 3:48 But uh Yeah, and then I&#39;m just looking down at all the contractors&#39; packages. That way it&#39;s just you know, it&#39;s a healthy balance. Gavin: 3:55 Absolutely. Um, are your kids already thinking about like their lists and whatnot? And in fact, is your daughter is she into it? Does she get it? David: 4:04 No, she doesn&#39;t get it. So she literally gets nothing from us. We have been very smart about the first couple years of our kids&#39; lives. They don&#39;t know what a birthday is, they don&#39;t know what Christmas is, and their grandparents are going to be giving them gifts. So we get them absolutely nothing. This is the first year my son, he&#39;s four-ish, he&#39;ll be like four and a half soon. He kind of understands that Christmas is a time that he&#39;ll get some presents. So he&#39;s like casually mentioned we&#39;d been out and he&#39;s like, Oh, I want that. I&#39;d be like, Great. Um, you know, maybe for Christmas. He&#39;s like, Okay, I&#39;m gonna ask for it for Christmas. So he started to kind of put that together. Um, no, the little ones, she&#39;s dumb as rock, so she&#39;s not getting it anywhere. unknown: 4:39 Right. Gavin: 4:40 I have always have had a complete dichotomy in my kids where um years ago, for instance, I asked my son, so what do you want for Christmas, buddy? And he goes, a purple pillow. Oh, and I thought, oh my god, so sweet. I&#39;ll buy you a purple pillow now. Like you don&#39;t have to wait for that. Meanwhile, I ask my daughter, and she I&#39;ve made this reference before, probably for her birthday, because my daughter knows how to consume, as we&#39;ve already established. And she pulls out that list and it goes down to the floor and across it goes down to the floor and across the floor. David: 5:13 Have you seen that video of the little boy who they that when they they jokingly wrap a banana and put it as a Christmas gift and they think it&#39;s gonna be a hilarious video? And they film him and he opens it and he goes, Oh, a banana! And he&#39;s like so excited, like earnestly excited. He&#39;s just so thrilled, and the parents are feeling guilty because they were trying to make it a joke. Um, have that kind of joy. Yeah, exactly. He&#39;s got that kind of gave in lodge gratitude that we all want. Gavin: 5:37 Simple, just simple. So I am uh preoccupied this year also with um my kids are getting, you know, a little older and they don&#39;t need stuff. I mean, they open everything and then they just go back to their iPads and don&#39;t want to do anything anymore. They just want to go, you know, watch other people live their lives on TikTok and YouTube. And so I&#39;m hoping that this year we might be able to do the graduation from stuff to experiences, even though I think I&#39;m late to this in comparison to a lot of other people. But like, God, enough of the stuff. Let&#39;s have experiences. Then again, that&#39;s part of me justifying being able to afford a vacation. And when in reality, I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t think we can afford the vacation either. David: 6:13 So we did that with my my my very small kind of like um the people I spend Christmas with usually. We tr made the change from gift giving to going on a trip together like like eight years ago, and it was like the best thing for somebody who loves gifts and actually enjoy gig gift giving. I think it&#39;s a fun thing. It was such a such a level up. And it&#39;s like, oh, we&#39;re going a cruise this year, we&#39;re gonna just rent this hotel on the beach this year, we&#39;re just gonna go to somebody&#39;s house and have a you know a little sleepover thing. Like it could be very simple, but man, is that so much better? Is that with friends or with family? No, with my family, with my mom and my brother. Gavin: 6:50 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, great. Especially when somebody else pays for it. Just kidding. I mean, sort of, but hopefully it&#39;s the best. So, how about our top three list, huh? Gate three marks, top three list, three, two, one. David: 7:04 Are you laughing at me? A little sharp at that last note. Yeah, I&#39;m laughing at that. That last note was a little sharp. Yeah. Um, so this is your list this week. What&#39;s our list? Gavin: 7:12 This is well, I feel like there is so much bad advice out there, and then also so often I just laugh at the advice, and sometimes I take the advice. And there have been some bad dad hacks in my parenting journey. So, number three for me was a DIY pin the tail on the donkey, but it was pin the tail, excuse me, pin the hair braid to Elsa. And I did my dad hack, which was drawing Elsa, and I cannot draw. And my four five-year-old daughter at that birthday party was like, Dad, that&#39;s not Elsa. And I&#39;m like, that is Elsa, go pin the fucking braid on Elsa. So uh if you&#39;re not an uh uh an artist, I don&#39;t know that I ever suggest trying to draw a three by three head of Elsa and then 10 little braids to pin on her. That went south. Uh, number two, just recently I tried to make, I tried to adapt a New York Times recipe that was meant to be like a puree of some kind. It was a dad hack of like, hey, sneak some more vegetables into something with the gnocchi, and right, so I blended up a bunch of veggies that my kids didn&#39;t want to eat, and I made it like gnocchi surprise. And they were like, Dad, oh gosh, just gnocchi surprise just turned with baby food. And my son was like, Dad, this is baby food. And I&#39;m like, well, that hack went awry. And then number one, in general, I have gone down the route of trying to figure out dad hacks for cultural experiences at museums over and over again. Usually it just comes down to scavenger hunts. And most recently, I had one of those where my kids were like just demoralized. And I was like, okay, kids, I won&#39;t force you to do another charming dad hack of a museum scavenger hunt anymore. Instead, I don&#39;t know what the alternative is gonna be, but uh no more DIY scavenger hunts. What about you? David: 9:14 So, number three for me, well, the advice was uh when you have a new kid, come in, you know, so you have a kid and then you have your second baby and they&#39;re gonna come into the house that you have the baby bring a gift for the existing kid as like a way to be like, oh, the baby&#39;s here. My son couldn&#39;t give a fuck less. She&#39;s like, oh what? This baby gave me a gift. Fuck this baby. I don&#39;t want it to cry anymore. So that was a total failure. Um, number two was somebody give us the idea of an idea of when you&#39;re on the plane and your kids get bored, bring a pack of post-it notes, and you could just put post-it notes in the back of the seat and rearrange them. Well, what they don&#39;t tell you is that the kids jam their fingers on the back of the seat, so then you&#39;re spending the whole time being like, don&#39;t push too hard, apologizing each other, apologizing, and then you&#39;re holding the seat so the person doesn&#39;t feel it, but the person does feel it, but then the kids over the game&#39;s over in 30 seconds, it&#39;s a nightmare. Don&#39;t do it. Gavin: 10:06 That was pointless. David: 10:08 And the last uh number one, uh dad hack that totally fucking failed. We saw this on TikTok where when your kid is having a tantrum, that if you just tap on yourself in some sort of a rhythm that that will like lure them into just like calming down and understanding it, and we would do it to our son. He&#39;s screaming, he&#39;s having a fit, and we&#39;re like, one, uh, and he&#39;s like, What are you doing? SPEAKER_02: 10:33 Stop it, Erica Badu. What the fuck are you doing? David: 10:37 And so that was a total fucking failure. That&#39;s funny. I like that. Yeah, I like that. Uh, so next week, next week, uh, we are traveling for Christmas. We are going on uh two six-hour flights uh to visit our family in LL. And I want to kill myself. So I&#39;m actually just gonna source information from our listeners, and I want to know what are your top three travel snacks? Gavin: 11:01 Okay. Our next guest is a savior in many different ways. He&#39;s a bisexual father of two, married to a woman, an emergency relief worker who flies into devastated areas to help people get back onto their feet, and has also been for years the root captain of the New York City Pride March, who also undoubtedly helps people get back onto their feet or um stilettos, as it were. Please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Peter from NYC Pride. Peter, thank you for coming, demeaning yourself on our dumb little podcast. David: 11:38 Yeah, you&#39;re you&#39;re I think you&#39;re overqualified to be here, if I&#39;m being honest. You might need to just hit and record right now. SPEAKER_00: 11:44 Well, I I don&#39;t know if uh your house was like that, but this morning I woke up to someone screaming about a hairbrush and tears coming down the cheeks, and uh the brother antagonizing by playing uh Nerf gun at the one screaming about the hairbrush. So it&#39;s been a day and uh beginning to it. David: 12:05 So yeah, I have a I I have a four-year-old boy who torments my two-year-old girl, and then he will turn to me when she like cries or screams or pushes him away as as evidence of how what a monster she is. And I&#39;m like, I watched you antagonize her, bro. I saw it happen. Gavin: 12:21 And may I say that Peter does not have toddlers either, but it&#39;s still the same behavior. Yeah, so it doesn&#39;t change, is what you&#39;re saying. SPEAKER_00: 12:28 This was 11-year-old crying about a hairbrush and a seven-year-old uh with a nerf and so no, it does not get better, in fact, David. Gavin: 12:37 If there&#39;s one thing better, yeah, if there&#39;s one thing Gatriarchs is teaching the world, it doesn&#39;t get better. It gets worse and worse and worse, and then it ends. So that is clearly a way that your kids have been driving you crazy of late, but at least uh they&#39;re not toddlers in the house right now while we&#39;re recording this, huh? SPEAKER_00: 12:54 Oh no, but soon there will be pickup time. Gavin: 12:57 Uh oh yeah. So let&#39;s get so let&#39;s get started just in case we uh run into pickup time. So uh so the main reason that I wanted to uh have you here on the podcast is that it is so fascinating to me to know an dare I say, I&#39;m sure the NYC Pride March is not hierarchical, but come on. You are way up the ladder of the NYC Pride March, and I just want to hear all the tea and how it all happened. What is your title at the March? SPEAKER_00: 13:26 So uh as of last year, I took over as the route captain. Uh so uh the way the NYC Pride March is set up, we have a volunteer director, um, then we have two paid staff uh administrators that help produce the event, and then we have volunteer leaders, and uh I&#39;m one of them uh that oversees a section of the march. So my job is to ensure that from the moment the marchers step off to when they end, that they have a good safe and good experience, and then those along the route have a safe and good experience as well. Gavin: 14:05 Well, so you&#39;re certainly responsible for like hundreds of thousands of people&#39;s safety and pleasure. David: 14:12 But I I can tell you where you shouldn&#39;t go. I should just don&#39;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms because I can tell you a lot of dreams have been lost in that building, including my own. SPEAKER_00: 14:23 But it&#39;s done with the work of hundreds and hundreds of volunteers. Um I just am the...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we are getting ready for the HoliGays, we rank our top 3 dad hack fails, and are joined by route captain of the NYC Pride March Peter Linder, who talks to us about being a bi-Dad, what he does as an emergency relief worker, and explains why the Pride March doesn&apos;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So the other day we were just taking down our Halloween costume. David: 0:09 I really I really believed in you too. And I saw your face just crumble. And this is Gatriarch. Gavin: 0:32 So the other day when we were just taking down our Halloween decorations, because that&#39;s how we roll in the middle of November. God, this year, every year I swear I&#39;m going to be more on top of it. Um I just don&#39;t really care that much about decorations. I know. How are the ways that you and I are completely the opposite? I mean, you, your, your barfing skeletons and keg stand skeletons have been long gone. David: 0:54 I&#39;ve already started putting plans on paper for next year&#39;s Halloween decoration. I&#39;m already sourcing materials, and it is literally November 15th. Gavin: 1:03 You are worse than Target putting up Christmas before September 30th. But okay, so anyway, we have needless to say, we do not have anything up. Although I do not believe in decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. That&#39;s our family tradition, you know. But it is um it at the same time, my kids are saying, why don&#39;t we have decorations up? Why don&#39;t we have decorations up? And I&#39;m like, you guys know me by now. Like, I don&#39;t know. If you want it, make it happen. You know, it&#39;s all it&#39;s all falling on my shoulders. But anyway, I wonder, are you already getting carried away with what&#39;s going to be going on at your house in the next couple of weeks? David: 1:37 So I have a husband who is very different than me in a lot of, I think, healthy ways, where we balance each other out, we meet in the middle a little bit, right? I&#39;m I&#39;m the chaos and he&#39;s a little bit of the stability. But he I, as we know, Halloween and Christmas are my jam. And so I get very excited. Gavin: 1:52 So I want you are home goods wrapped up. David: 1:55 I&#39;m a home goods homo. And I so I want Halloween up like starting in September, and I want it up for a week after Halloween, and then I want to go right to Christmas. He is a no no-no. We do October 1st is when Halloween happens, and then there is a month, there is literally a month or three or three and a half weeks of like just generic fall before we&#39;re allowed to put up Christmas, which is the day after Thanksgiving, which I think is. Gavin: 2:21 I can endorse this. Wait, do you have any Thanksgiving decorations? Be grateful. Oh my god, it&#39;s my season of just science that say be grateful, dude. David: 2:29 We have a we have a giant ceramic turkey that holds napkins that sits in the middle of our table. And then we have like lots of like fake foliage and shit that goes in the house. But like, no, but so that&#39;s what we settled on was like there&#39;s this generic fall moment and it and November. And then, you know, as soon as that last bite of turkey happens, the tree is up, like we&#39;re ready to go. So it&#39;s balanced me out a little bit. Like, I get it. Now it&#39;s not gonna be two and a half months of Christmas, even though that&#39;s what I want. But I will say, as somebody who loves all these so much, I get very frustrated about what you&#39;re talking about. And I see in the outline about seeing things before I want to see them. So in September, all of the Christmas decorations at like Lowe&#39;s and Costco and stuff were already up. So I do this weird, weird personal thing where when I walk into those stores and I don&#39;t want to start thinking about Christmas yet because I&#39;m still I still want to mai]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we are getting ready for the HoliGays, we rank our top 3 dad hack fails, and are joined by route captain of the NYC Pride March Peter Linder, who talks to us about being a bi-Dad, what he does as an emergency relief worker, and explains why the Pride March doesn&apos;t go through the Port Authority bathrooms. Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So the other day we were just taking down our Halloween costume. David: 0:09 I really I really believed in you too. And I saw your face just crumble. And this is Gatriarch. Gavin: 0:32 So the other day when we were just taking down our Halloween decorations, because that&#39;s how we roll in the middle of November. God, this year, every year I swear I&#39;m going to be more on top of it. Um I just don&#39;t really care that much about decorations. I know. How are the ways that you and I are completely the opposite? I mean, you, your, your b]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Jason McGatlin from the Star Wars universe</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jason-mcgatlin-from-the-star-wars-universe/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 08 Nov 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we feel guilty about guilt, we rank the top 3 worst things, and the force is strong with us as we are lucky enough to have Jason McGatlin, Hollywood producer and gay father, on our stupid little podcast where we talk Star Wars, Pedro Pascal, and what it&apos;s like to actually get to do what you dreamed of doing as a kid.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 No, I think I kind of got out my points of view there as I was talking too much, thinking to myself, stop talking and move it over. Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. What about it? Don&#39;t monologue. What&#39;s the point? Stop it. David: 0:10 Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. Just don&#39;t monologue. Stop it. And it&#39;s gay. Gavin: 0:31 So last night we got an assignment from my kids&#39; class, and they&#39;re supposed to like listen to some uh recorded book or something like that. And then it was followed up from the teacher by a note that said, and also some children may find it easier to watch the broadcast at the same time that they&#39;re listening to it, whatever it is. I mean, I have no details on this except for the fact that my partner and I were howling as he&#39;s like, this just like podcasts, and I know, Gavin, you&#39;re in the podcasting world, so don&#39;t take offense at this. I&#39;m like, that is never a good opener to a conversation. But he&#39;s like, it&#39;s just radio shows. We it is 1936 again, and we&#39;re all just listening to the radio and sitting around the radio, and it may not be FDR giving us fireside chats, but podcasting is just radio shows. And now it&#39;s so meta that that my kids is getting an assignment that, well, they might be bored by the radio show. So let&#39;s go ahead and turn on the TV. And uh, it just is a funny way of um life imitating art, but you don&#39;t think it&#39;s funny at all. David: 1:38 Well, your point is podcasts are radio shows. Yeah. Well, what else do we say about that? You you pushed me opening the show for your big thing, and that&#39;s what we opened with. All right, everybody. Well, if we haven&#39;t lost our listener yet, um, thank you for staying with us. Um, okay, being a dick. But also, well, it&#39;s also like, but it&#39;s also you see, every podcast has a video component now. So every podcast is just a YouTube video with my right. Gavin: 2:11 We have we have moved on. Yeah, it&#39;s definitely not just podcasting, it&#39;s uh video streaming, whatever. David: 2:17 Anyway, um, I am a single dad, and by single dad I mean my husband&#39;s out of town for two days. So uh I am not showering, I mean ramen noodles. Like it&#39;s pure chaos at the house. Just two days. Well, here&#39;s the thing. I was like, oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad. Like when when when one dad goes out of town, I&#39;m gonna be cool, Dad. We&#39;re gonna stay up later, we&#39;re gonna eat whatever we want, right? So last night, my my my son gets uh iPad time for you know half hour, 45 minutes before we go to bed, and then we leave the last like 15 minutes to 30 minutes of to do something without an iPad. It could be reading books, it could be whatever. Well, I was like, Oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad, and I&#39;m gonna let him play with his iPad right up until bedtime. And as soon as it&#39;s bedtime, we just go right up to bed. Oh, yeah. How great will that be? Gavin: 2:59 Oh no, it&#39;s not. David: 3:00 It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson. It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson because that boy went from happy, joyful four-year-old to rageful, vicious animal. Did he throw himself down on the ground? No, but he did tell me I&#39;ll never love you again. So I was literally like, hey, let&#39;s brush our teeth. And he&#39;s like, I&#39;m never gonna love. He looked me right in the eyes. I&#39;m never gonna love you again. Wow. And of course I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, brush your teeth. But it was like an old thing. So the bathroom was such a fucking battle that I had to start taking these away. I was like, all right, no books tonight. Okay, no iPad iPad tomorrow. Like, yeah, shit was falling apart, and he just could not, and it was my fault. It was my fault. That little built-in buffer that my husband created is so smart because it&#39;s not just like, oh, I don&#39;t want you just rotting in front of the iPad. It&#39;s I need a transitional moment. And so David has learned his lesson and he will never have iPad right up until then. Gavin: 3:59 That uh makes perfect sense. Also, complete non sequitur related to iPads. I am taking my kids to the um Taylor Swift movie. David: 4:08 Um, because you have spent more money on Taylor Swift than any dad in the world. I know, it&#39;s embarrassing. Gavin: 4:13 And I&#39;m getting no gratitude or appreciation for it whatsoever, just drama. But and I thought it would be a historic experience that he would want to do. And now ultimately, and he was inviting a friend along, and then the friend poisoned his notions of it and was like, Do we really want to stand in a room of a bunch of screaming Swifties screaming to the songs that we don&#39;t really really even care about? And I it was a strong point. Point is that kid&#39;s dad said to me, I&#39;m sorry to be a wet blanket, but my son would rather go without an iPad all weekend long than go to the Taylor Swift movie. Wow. Wow. I thought that was hilarious. That was good. So um I was curious about talking about how you cope with parental guilt, or just talking about how anybody copes with parental guilt. Because basically, parenting, in my view, is just one big guilt fest. I mean, you know, kids ruin everything and we scream and we don&#39;t want to scream, but we scream. And there&#39;s so much guilt that comes from doing the right thing, what&#39;s the right thing, who&#39;s saying the right thing, et cetera, et cetera. And social media is just a gasoline on top of this. But what are the things that make you feel guilty about parenting? Nothing. Okay. So how do you cope with that? Oh, never mind. David: 5:27 You really you&#39;re guilt-free. I feel amazing. No, of course. I feel guilt all the time. I felt guilt last night as I took his books away. I was like, oh, I&#39;m just taking literature away from my fucking four-year-old. No, I I feel guilty all the time. I and it&#39;s helpful that I have a husband who we are pretty aligned in our child rearing points of view. So like we&#39;ll often talk about it. Um, I the I don&#39;t know. The only I I don&#39;t feel guilty, honestly, if I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t feel guilty often. There are two times in my life where like I wildly overreacted because I was tired and I was annoyed, and they had a a normal meltdown, and I was just like, you know, we always joke. It&#39;s always like the beast and doing the beast when he&#39;s having the argument with Belle at the door about coming to dinner, and find at the end she was like, Well, I&#39;m not going. And he goes, Then starve. We joke about that all the time because I get to the then starve phase of me all the time. But as far as like guilt, usually if it&#39;s like something big, like one time my toddler had a meltdown at the mall, and I like made him sit down to like for a timeout, but like I pressed him against the wall and I held him against the wall for the four minutes, right? Um, and I felt like fucking shit. Um, so I just had some anti-anne pretzels and I felt much better about of course. Gavin: 6:40 Well, I can&#39;t wait for our listener to uh message us on Instagram and remember that in on episode five, you talked about being Beauty and the Beast, which is uh a great actually story. I like revisiting that. But it is it&#39;s crazy how we can feel guilt over absolutely anything and everything. To the degree of I just think so much about sitting on playgrounds with other parents. And basically every single time they would talk about, well, this is what I do with my kids, it just made me feel guilty that I wasn&#39;t putting in enough time, effort, effort, effort, effort, or focus all the time. And then on social, um, there&#39;s so many ways that we like our um our guest Cece a couple of weeks ago, she does such a great job of kind of mocking those who are the humble braggars or the people who are instilling guilt. And yet at the same time, I feel like those who are making the rest of us feel guilty are louder than those who are like, hey man, we&#39;re all doing the best we can and nobody knows the right answer. You know? David: 7:39 Do you do you feel like social media is more things to make you feel guilty versus Yeah, but I guess I I&#39;m so I&#39;m so poisoned from social media lately that I don&#39;t take any of it seriously. Every time I see something positive, all I think is like that&#39;s all full, that&#39;s all fake and nobody feels that way. So, and I also am drawn to this is not a surprise because this is why we made the show, but like I&#39;m very much drawn to the darker, more realistic, like funnier sides of things, and less the like, here&#39;s the bar that I need you all to be on. Um, because I&#39;ve mostly failed at every metric imaginable as a human being since I was born. So, like this parenting uh parenting poorly is is not at all like you know, whatever. But I do feel like sometimes when it&#39;s at daycare, and I I witness another kid doing something way better than my kid. Oh, I feel guilty that my kid isn&#39;t there. But no, I I I&#39;m so I social media doesn&#39;t affect me that way anymore. I&#39;m so deadened on the inside to the the joys of social media because I know it&#39;s fake. I know we you and I both know people who are famous, yeah, who have social media empires, and we&#39;re like, those bitches are crazy and they just got divorced and they&#39;re sleeping. Like, we know all of that stuff. So like I it&#39;s hard for me to take any of that seriously. But the parenting guilt I do still feel is when I do something that I know was wrong or I overreact it or I hurt my kid somehow and I need to apologize. And my husband&#39;s really good at that. He&#39;ll he&#39;ll just like, hey, I overreacted. I&#39;m so sorry, I&#39;m a human too, blah, blah, blah, blah. But mostly Gavin, what I&#39;m here to tell you is that I&#39;m pretty great as a parent and I don&#39;t feel guilty about it. Gavin: 9:07 So speaking of guilt, let&#39;s go to our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. What, David, will you remind me is the top three list this week? David: 9:20 The top three list this week is the top three worst things. Worst. What are the top three worst things? And listen, that&#39;s a broad, that&#39;s a broad category. Gavin: 9:29 I&#39;m interested to hear how you It is. But I do appreciate, I mean, because we go around saying, isn&#39;t that just the worst? So there are so many things, so many things that are the worst. David: 9:39 So what your worst here are my top three worst things. In number three, this is a little uh inside baseball with the arts, but cats out of the bag posts. Hey guys, cats out of the bag. Looks like I&#39;ll be making my Broadway debut, and merrily we roll along as the male offstage swing. So excited, and they attach a playbill article. I cannot with that. Cats out of the bag post. There has never been a cats out of the bag post that was shocking. And like, how did you keep that cat in the bag? Nobody fucking cares that you&#39;re playing Lancelot at the Rawway demo theater production of making spam a lot. Gavin: 10:21 You have five cigarettes coming out of your mouth right now as you are so jaded and cynical. David: 10:26 But like, have you ever seen a cat&#39;s out of the bag post where you were like, oh, where you gasped that there was some new information that is so exciting that they had to keep under wraps because it was so important? Never one time. So number three, cats out of the bag post. Uh, number two, being wrong in front of your partner. Especially if it&#39;s something you were kind of on your high horse about, and then you are wrong, you are wrong in front of them. So you can&#39;t hide it, you can&#39;t spin it later. Like if you were wrong off screen, you know what I mean? I think that&#39;s very much the worst. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And number one, my personal worst thing. Let&#39;s say it&#39;s a Saturday and you&#39;re doing laundry and you&#39;re cleaning the house, and everything is great, and you&#39;re having a great day, and you&#39;re working and everything, you fold your laundry, you put it all together, everything is wonderful. You put the kids to bed, you watch your hour of uh Survivor, and you&#39;re really tired. You&#39;re like, I&#39;ve got to go to bed. And you crawl upstairs, you turn on that light, and there, looking you dead in the eyes, is a bear mattress with the sheets piled, ready to be put on your bed. And you&#39;re like, I I&#39;m sleeping on the floor. Gavin: 11:43 I&#39;m just I don&#39;t have the energy to bed just drink, or or I will just sleep on the bear mattress. David: 11:51 Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So that&#39;s my number one worst thing. What about you, Gavin? Gavin: 11:56 When you said bear mattress, I definitely heard B-E-A-R, and I thought, wait, huh. David: 12:03 I mean like you&#39;re fucking a bear and this is his bed. Gavin: 12:06 I guess so. Yeah, okay. Okay, for me, top three. That&#39;s just the worst. Number one, I mean, number three. Number three in order of worseness is no apology. Somebody does something shitty to you and they just can&#39;t even have the the self-respect or the respect for you to just like say, sorry about that. And I live in Connecticut, where I swear this is an ongoing thing for my partner and I, who is very much a local here, that it just like, oh, sorry about that, doesn&#39;t exist in the Connecticut lexicon. I swear. Maybe it&#39;s just my own personal experience, but like there&#39;s no like, oh, sorry. The grocery store bumping into people, sorry about that. It&#39;s just I find that to be or even a my bad. David: 12:48 Like a my bad kids say. Gavin: 12:50 Yeah. My bad. Yeah. So I am uh one of those things that I&#39;m instilling in my kids is being able to say, ooh, sorry, my bad. Number two, zits. So I have a 12-year-old who is, you know, dealing with some of that. And then sometimes I still get them. I am old. Zits sometimes not on my face. David: 13:13 And they&#39;re all the worst. Yeah, that was really disgusting. That little that little qualification gave in. But also the fact that this is this is a life travesty that people have pretended that zits are for tweens and teens. Or for people who don&#39;t know. They last forever. Yeah. Yeah. They last forever. Gavin: 13:30 Forever. So I find them the worst number two. And number one for me, swamp ass. Specifically when it actually seeps through your pants. Oh, my God. And you have to walk around thinking, oh my God, is somebody I don&#39;t, I do not wear khaki pants. Sweat or shit. I never, I never wear khaki pants. Ever. Just on the off chance that I might sit in water and somebody will accuse me of it being Swamp Pass, because God forbid. So never, ever, ever. Uh yeah, it&#39;s because Swamp Pass is the absolute worst. Yes. All right. David: 14:05 What&#39;s next week? Gavin: 14:06 Next week, I want to hear about your three uh dad hacks that were total failures. You thought I got this, and then you failed at it. So today&#39;s guest is a true indulgence for nerds and wannabe nerds and not at all nerds, but just red-blooded American patriots who love the all-time greatest franchise of all time, Star Wars. Uh he dreamed of making Star Wars movies when he was a kid, and unlike the rest of us all who failed at all of our dreams, he actually did it. Please welcome Hollywood producer and gay father, Jason McGatlin. Thank you, Jason. David: 14:46 Thank you. Thank you, guys. I don&#39;t like being introduced as a dream failure, Gavin. I don&#39;t know why you might need to reframe that. I&#39;m...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we feel guilty about guilt, we rank the top 3 worst things, and the force is strong with us as we are lucky enough to have Jason McGatlin, Hollywood producer and gay father, on our stupid little podcast where we talk Star Wars, Pedro Pascal, a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we feel guilty about guilt, we rank the top 3 worst things, and the force is strong with us as we are lucky enough to have Jason McGatlin, Hollywood producer and gay father, on our stupid little podcast where we talk Star Wars, Pedro Pascal, and what it&apos;s like to actually get to do what you dreamed of doing as a kid.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 No, I think I kind of got out my points of view there as I was talking too much, thinking to myself, stop talking and move it over. Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. What about it? Don&#39;t monologue. What&#39;s the point? Stop it. David: 0:10 Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. Just don&#39;t monologue. Stop it. And it&#39;s gay. Gavin: 0:31 So last night we got an assignment from my kids&#39; class, and they&#39;re supposed to like listen to some uh recorded book or something like that. And then it was followed up from the teacher by a note that said, and also some children may find it easier to watch the broadcast at the same time that they&#39;re listening to it, whatever it is. I mean, I have no details on this except for the fact that my partner and I were howling as he&#39;s like, this just like podcasts, and I know, Gavin, you&#39;re in the podcasting world, so don&#39;t take offense at this. I&#39;m like, that is never a good opener to a conversation. But he&#39;s like, it&#39;s just radio shows. We it is 1936 again, and we&#39;re all just listening to the radio and sitting around the radio, and it may not be FDR giving us fireside chats, but podcasting is just radio shows. And now it&#39;s so meta that that my kids is getting an assignment that, well, they might be bored by the radio show. So let&#39;s go ahead and turn on the TV. And uh, it just is a funny way of um life imitating art, but you don&#39;t think it&#39;s funny at all. David: 1:38 Well, your point is podcasts are radio shows. Yeah. Well, what else do we say about that? You you pushed me opening the show for your big thing, and that&#39;s what we opened with. All right, everybody. Well, if we haven&#39;t lost our listener yet, um, thank you for staying with us. Um, okay, being a dick. But also, well, it&#39;s also like, but it&#39;s also you see, every podcast has a video component now. So every podcast is just a YouTube video with my right. Gavin: 2:11 We have we have moved on. Yeah, it&#39;s definitely not just podcasting, it&#39;s uh video streaming, whatever. David: 2:17 Anyway, um, I am a single dad, and by single dad I mean my husband&#39;s out of town for two days. So uh I am not showering, I mean ramen noodles. Like it&#39;s pure chaos at the house. Just two days. Well, here&#39;s the thing. I was like, oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad. Like when when when one dad goes out of town, I&#39;m gonna be cool, Dad. We&#39;re gonna stay up later, we&#39;re gonna eat whatever we want, right? So last night, my my my son gets uh iPad time for you know half hour, 45 minutes before we go to bed, and then we leave the last like 15 minutes to 30 minutes of to do something without an iPad. It could be reading books, it could be whatever. Well, I was like, Oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad, and I&#39;m gonna let him play with his iPad right up until bedtime. And as soon as it&#39;s bedtime, we just go right up to bed. Oh, yeah. How great will that be? Gavin: 2:59 Oh no, it&#39;s not. David: 3:00 It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson. It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson because that boy went from happy, joyful four-year-old to rageful, vicious animal. Did he throw himself down on the ground? No, but he did tell me I&#39;ll never love you again. So I was literally like, hey, let&#39;s brush our teeth. And he&#39;s like, I&#39;m never gonna love. He looked me right in the eyes. I&#39;m never gonna love you again. Wow. And of course I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, brush your teeth. But it was like an old thing. So the bathroom was such a fucking battle that I had to start taking these away. I was like, all right, no books tonight. Okay, no iPad iPad tomorrow. Like, yeah, shit was falling apart, and he just could not, and it was my fault. It was my fault. That little built-in buffer that my husband created is so smart because it&#39;s not just like, oh, I don&#39;t want you just rotting in front of the iPad. It&#39;s I need a transitional moment. And so David has learned his lesson and he will never have iPad right up until then. Gavin: 3:59 That uh makes perfect sense. Also, complete non sequitur related to iPads. I am taking my kids to the um Taylor Swift movie. David: 4:08 Um, because you have spent more money on Taylor Swift than any dad in the world. I know, it&#39;s embarrassing. Gavin: 4:13 And I&#39;m getting no gratitude or appreciation for it whatsoever, just drama. But and I thought it would be a historic experience that he would want to do. And now ultimately, and he was inviting a friend along, and then the friend poisoned his notions of it and was like, Do we really want to stand in a room of a bunch of screaming Swifties screaming to the songs that we don&#39;t really really even care about? And I it was a strong point. Point is that kid&#39;s dad said to me, I&#39;m sorry to be a wet blanket, but my son would rather go without an iPad all weekend long than go to the Taylor Swift movie. Wow. Wow. I thought that was hilarious. That was good. So um I was curious about talking about how you cope with parental guilt, or just talking about how anybody copes with parental guilt. Because basically, parenting, in my view, is just one big guilt fest. I mean, you know, kids ruin everything and we scream and we don&#39;t want to scream, but we scream. And there&#39;s so much guilt that comes from doing the right thing, what&#39;s the right thing, who&#39;s saying the right thing, et cetera, et cetera. And social media is just a gasoline on top of this. But what are the things that make you feel guilty about parenting? Nothing. Okay. So how do you cope with that? Oh, never mind. David: 5:27 You really you&#39;re guilt-free. I feel amazing. No, of course. I feel guilt all the time. I felt guilt last night as I took his books away. I was like, oh, I&#39;m just taking literature away from my fucking four-year-old. No, I I feel guilty all the time. I and it&#39;s helpful that I have a husband who we are pretty aligned in our child rearing points of view. So like we&#39;ll often talk about it. Um, I the I don&#39;t know. The only I I don&#39;t feel guilty, honestly, if I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t feel guilty often. There are two times in my life where like I wildly overreacted because I was tired and I was annoyed, and they had a a normal meltdown, and I was just like, you know, we always joke. It&#39;s always like the beast and doing the beast when he&#39;s having the argument with Belle at the door about coming to dinner, and find at the end she was like, Well, I&#39;m not going. And he goes, Then starve. We joke about that all the time because I get to the then starve phase of me all the time. But as far as like guilt, usually if it&#39;s like something big, like one time my toddler had a meltdown at the mall, and I like made him sit down to like for a timeout, but like I pressed him against the wall and I held him against the wall for the four minutes, right? Um, and I felt like fucking shit. Um, so I just had some anti-anne pretzels and I felt much better about of course. Gavin: 6:40 Well, I can&#39;t wait for our listener to uh message us on Instagram and remember that in on episode five, you talked about being Beauty and the Beast, which is uh a great actually story. I like revisiting that. But it is it&#39;s crazy how we can feel guilt over absolutely anything and everything. To the degree of I just think so much about sitting on playgrounds with other parents. And basically every single time they would talk about, well, this is what I do with my kids, it just made me feel guilty that I wasn&#39;t putting in enough time, effort, effort, effort, effort, or focus all the time. And then on social, um, there&#39;s so many ways that we like our um our guest Cece a couple of weeks ago, she does such a great job of kind of mocking those who are the humble braggars or the people who are instilling guilt. And yet at the same time, I feel like those who are making the rest of us feel guilty are louder than those who are like, hey man, we&#39;re all doing the best we can and nobody knows the right answer. You know? David: 7:39 Do you do you feel like social media is more things to make you feel guilty versus Yeah, but I guess I I&#39;m so I&#39;m so poisoned from social media lately that I don&#39;t take any of it seriously. Every time I see something positive, all I think is like that&#39;s all full, that&#39;s all fake and nobody feels that way. So, and I also am drawn to this is not a surprise because this is why we made the show, but like I&#39;m very much drawn to the darker, more realistic, like funnier sides of things, and less the like, here&#39;s the bar that I need you all to be on. Um, because I&#39;ve mostly failed at every metric imaginable as a human being since I was born. So, like this parenting uh parenting poorly is is not at all like you know, whatever. But I do feel like sometimes when it&#39;s at daycare, and I I witness another kid doing something way better than my kid. Oh, I feel guilty that my kid isn&#39;t there. But no, I I I&#39;m so I social media doesn&#39;t affect me that way anymore. I&#39;m so deadened on the inside to the the joys of social media because I know it&#39;s fake. I know we you and I both know people who are famous, yeah, who have social media empires, and we&#39;re like, those bitches are crazy and they just got divorced and they&#39;re sleeping. Like, we know all of that stuff. So like I it&#39;s hard for me to take any of that seriously. But the parenting guilt I do still feel is when I do something that I know was wrong or I overreact it or I hurt my kid somehow and I need to apologize. And my husband&#39;s really good at that. He&#39;ll he&#39;ll just like, hey, I overreacted. I&#39;m so sorry, I&#39;m a human too, blah, blah, blah, blah. But mostly Gavin, what I&#39;m here to tell you is that I&#39;m pretty great as a parent and I don&#39;t feel guilty about it. Gavin: 9:07 So speaking of guilt, let&#39;s go to our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. What, David, will you remind me is the top three list this week? David: 9:20 The top three list this week is the top three worst things. Worst. What are the top three worst things? And listen, that&#39;s a broad, that&#39;s a broad category. Gavin: 9:29 I&#39;m interested to hear how you It is. But I do appreciate, I mean, because we go around saying, isn&#39;t that just the worst? So there are so many things, so many things that are the worst. David: 9:39 So what your worst here are my top three worst things. In number three, this is a little uh inside baseball with the arts, but cats out of the bag posts. Hey guys, cats out of the bag. Looks like I&#39;ll be making my Broadway debut, and merrily we roll along as the male offstage swing. So excited, and they attach a playbill article. I cannot with that. Cats out of the bag post. There has never been a cats out of the bag post that was shocking. And like, how did you keep that cat in the bag? Nobody fucking cares that you&#39;re playing Lancelot at the Rawway demo theater production of making spam a lot. Gavin: 10:21 You have five cigarettes coming out of your mouth right now as you are so jaded and cynical. David: 10:26 But like, have you ever seen a cat&#39;s out of the bag post where you were like, oh, where you gasped that there was some new information that is so exciting that they had to keep under wraps because it was so important? Never one time. So number three, cats out of the bag post. Uh, number two, being wrong in front of your partner. Especially if it&#39;s something you were kind of on your high horse about, and then you are wrong, you are wrong in front of them. So you can&#39;t hide it, you can&#39;t spin it later. Like if you were wrong off screen, you know what I mean? I think that&#39;s very much the worst. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And number one, my personal worst thing. Let&#39;s say it&#39;s a Saturday and you&#39;re doing laundry and you&#39;re cleaning the house, and everything is great, and you&#39;re having a great day, and you&#39;re working and everything, you fold your laundry, you put it all together, everything is wonderful. You put the kids to bed, you watch your hour of uh Survivor, and you&#39;re really tired. You&#39;re like, I&#39;ve got to go to bed. And you crawl upstairs, you turn on that light, and there, looking you dead in the eyes, is a bear mattress with the sheets piled, ready to be put on your bed. And you&#39;re like, I I&#39;m sleeping on the floor. Gavin: 11:43 I&#39;m just I don&#39;t have the energy to bed just drink, or or I will just sleep on the bear mattress. David: 11:51 Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So that&#39;s my number one worst thing. What about you, Gavin? Gavin: 11:56 When you said bear mattress, I definitely heard B-E-A-R, and I thought, wait, huh. David: 12:03 I mean like you&#39;re fucking a bear and this is his bed. Gavin: 12:06 I guess so. Yeah, okay. Okay, for me, top three. That&#39;s just the worst. Number one, I mean, number three. Number three in order of worseness is no apology. Somebody does something shitty to you and they just can&#39;t even have the the self-respect or the respect for you to just like say, sorry about that. And I live in Connecticut, where I swear this is an ongoing thing for my partner and I, who is very much a local here, that it just like, oh, sorry about that, doesn&#39;t exist in the Connecticut lexicon. I swear. Maybe it&#39;s just my own personal experience, but like there&#39;s no like, oh, sorry. The grocery store bumping into people, sorry about that. It&#39;s just I find that to be or even a my bad. David: 12:48 Like a my bad kids say. Gavin: 12:50 Yeah. My bad. Yeah. So I am uh one of those things that I&#39;m instilling in my kids is being able to say, ooh, sorry, my bad. Number two, zits. So I have a 12-year-old who is, you know, dealing with some of that. And then sometimes I still get them. I am old. Zits sometimes not on my face. David: 13:13 And they&#39;re all the worst. Yeah, that was really disgusting. That little that little qualification gave in. But also the fact that this is this is a life travesty that people have pretended that zits are for tweens and teens. Or for people who don&#39;t know. They last forever. Yeah. Yeah. They last forever. Gavin: 13:30 Forever. So I find them the worst number two. And number one for me, swamp ass. Specifically when it actually seeps through your pants. Oh, my God. And you have to walk around thinking, oh my God, is somebody I don&#39;t, I do not wear khaki pants. Sweat or shit. I never, I never wear khaki pants. Ever. Just on the off chance that I might sit in water and somebody will accuse me of it being Swamp Pass, because God forbid. So never, ever, ever. Uh yeah, it&#39;s because Swamp Pass is the absolute worst. Yes. All right. David: 14:05 What&#39;s next week? Gavin: 14:06 Next week, I want to hear about your three uh dad hacks that were total failures. You thought I got this, and then you failed at it. So today&#39;s guest is a true indulgence for nerds and wannabe nerds and not at all nerds, but just red-blooded American patriots who love the all-time greatest franchise of all time, Star Wars. Uh he dreamed of making Star Wars movies when he was a kid, and unlike the rest of us all who failed at all of our dreams, he actually did it. Please welcome Hollywood producer and gay father, Jason McGatlin. Thank you, Jason. David: 14:46 Thank you. Thank you, guys. I don&#39;t like being introduced as a dream failure, Gavin. I don&#39;t know why you might need to reframe that. I&#39;m...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we feel guilty about guilt, we rank the top 3 worst things, and the force is strong with us as we are lucky enough to have Jason McGatlin, Hollywood producer and gay father, on our stupid little podcast where we talk Star Wars, Pedro Pascal, and what it&apos;s like to actually get to do what you dreamed of doing as a kid.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 No, I think I kind of got out my points of view there as I was talking too much, thinking to myself, stop talking and move it over. Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. What about it? Don&#39;t monologue. What&#39;s the point? Stop it. David: 0:10 Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. Just don&#39;t monologue. Stop it. And it&#39;s gay. Gavin: 0:31 So last night we got an assignment from my kids&#39; class, and they&#39;re supposed to like listen to some uh recorded book or something like that. And then it was followed up from the teacher by a note that said, and also some children may find it easier to watch the broadcast at the same time that they&#39;re listening to it, whatever it is. I mean, I have no details on this except for the fact that my partner and I were howling as he&#39;s like, this just like podcasts, and I know, Gavin, you&#39;re in the podcasting world, so don&#39;t take offense at this. I&#39;m like, that is never a good opener to a conversation. But he&#39;s like, it&#39;s just radio shows. We it is 1936 again, and we&#39;re all just listening to the radio and sitting around the radio, and it may not be FDR giving us fireside chats, but podcasting is just radio shows. And now it&#39;s so meta that that my kids is getting an assignment that, well, they might be bored by the radio show. So let&#39;s go ahead and turn on the TV. And uh, it just is a funny way of um life imitating art, but you don&#39;t think it&#39;s funny at all. David: 1:38 Well, your point is podcasts are radio shows. Yeah. Well, what else do we say about that? You you pushed me opening the show for your big thing, and that&#39;s what we opened with. All right, everybody. Well, if we haven&#39;t lost our listener yet, um, thank you for staying with us. Um, okay, being a dick. But also, well, it&#39;s also like, but it&#39;s also you see, every podcast has a video component now. So every podcast is just a YouTube video with my right. Gavin: 2:11 We have we have moved on. Yeah, it&#39;s definitely not just podcasting, it&#39;s uh video streaming, whatever. David: 2:17 Anyway, um, I am a single dad, and by single dad I mean my husband&#39;s out of town for two days. So uh I am not showering, I mean ramen noodles. Like it&#39;s pure chaos at the house. Just two days. Well, here&#39;s the thing. I was like, oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad. Like when when when one dad goes out of town, I&#39;m gonna be cool, Dad. We&#39;re gonna stay up later, we&#39;re gonna eat whatever we want, right? So last night, my my my son gets uh iPad time for you know half hour, 45 minutes before we go to bed, and then we leave the last like 15 minutes to 30 minutes of to do something without an iPad. It could be reading books, it could be whatever. Well, I was like, Oh, I&#39;m gonna be cool, dad, and I&#39;m gonna let him play with his iPad right up until bedtime. And as soon as it&#39;s bedtime, we just go right up to bed. Oh, yeah. How great will that be? Gavin: 2:59 Oh no, it&#39;s not. David: 3:00 It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson. It won&#39;t be. I&#39;ve learned my lesson because that boy went from happy, joyful four-year-old to rageful, vicious animal. Did he throw himself down on the ground? No, but he did tell me I&#39;ll never love you again. So I was literally like, hey, let&#39;s brush our teeth. And he&#39;s like, I&#39;m never gonna love. He looked me right in the eyes. I&#39;m never gonna love you again. Wow. And of course I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, brush your teeth. But]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we feel guilty about guilt, we rank the top 3 worst things, and the force is strong with us as we are lucky enough to have Jason McGatlin, Hollywood producer and gay father, on our stupid little podcast where we talk Star Wars, Pedro Pascal, and what it&apos;s like to actually get to do what you dreamed of doing as a kid.  Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Let us know! DM us or email us at GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 No, I think I kind of got out my points of view there as I was talking too much, thinking to myself, stop talking and move it over. Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. What about it? Don&#39;t monologue. What&#39;s the point? Stop it. David: 0:10 Don&#39;t monologue. Don&#39;t monologue. Just don&#39;t monologue. Stop it. And it&#39;s gay. Gavin: 0:31 So last night we got an assignment from my kids&#39; class, and they&#39;re supposed to like listen to some uh recorded book or something like that. And then it was followe]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Joe Dombrowski</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-joe-dombrowski/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 01 Nov 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David, yet again, embarrasses himself in the daycare parking lot, we talk about our Halloweenies, break down the top 3 family dance party songs, and we are lucky enough to be joined by the worlds very own Rol-aska-tox Joe Dombrowski, where he shares with us some tea on Ellen Degeneres, takes a pre-parent test (and passes!), and tells us how much touring it takes to pay for a gay wedding.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And then at number one, of course, and predictably Justin Timberlakes can&#39;t stop the beat. Oh God. Can&#39;t stop the feeling. SPEAKER_04: 0:08 Okay, what&#39;s your what&#39;s at the top of your three lists? Is it Scott Joplin? George Gershwin. David: 0:17 And anyway. And this is Gatriarch. So I drive my kids to school every day. And there&#39;s daycare parking lot, right? And so the daycare parking lot where it&#39;s like high fives happen, tears happen, there&#39;s a lot of things that happen. Anyway, the this place, the daycare is in like an industrial park. So there&#39;s other people going different places. And I&#39;m at a stop sign and there are people crossing in front of me. It is not a four-way stop, it is a two-way stop, and then there&#39;s like regular traffic. And I&#39;m waiting for these two cars to pass so I can go forward. And the woman behind me fucking lays on the horn. And I look back in the rearview mirror and she&#39;s like throwing her hands up in the air and she&#39;s like, Go, asshole. You can see she is so mad. There is just her blood is boiling. And I&#39;m like, what the fuck? And of course, because I am who I am, I&#39;m like, okay, now I live at the stop sign. I&#39;m gonna turn off the car. I&#39;m gonna get, I&#39;m gonna take a little nap. Like you, you have re messed with the wrong person. So then I wait for the next car, which is way too far down the road to pass. And she&#39;s laying on her. I&#39;m just so I&#39;m just delighting in her rage. So anyway, I cross, she&#39;s behind me. We&#39;re going through this industrial park, cars are turning everywhere. She&#39;s not turning. And then we get to the daycare and we have to drive all the way around the building and she&#39;s still behind me. And I&#39;m like, oh god. Panicking. Please tell me this is not a fucking parent. Gavin: 1:53 So But she was being stupid. I mean, I&#39;m surprised she&#39;s sure, sure. David: 1:57 But like clearly, she&#39;s been screaming at me in her rear view mirror. I&#39;ve been throwing my like, what? What? There&#39;s cars, hands. There&#39;s been a lot of discussion. So we have to, it&#39;s attached to the YMCA. So we have to drive all the way around the building. And sometimes people park in the YMCA lot because we&#39;re gonna go work out. She doesn&#39;t park in the lot. She follows me all the way. And I realize this is another parent of a kid in the school. And we&#39;re gonna park next to each other and have to get out. And somebody&#39;s gonna have to say that. Gavin: 2:24 And there&#39;s there&#39;s gonna be a scene. Unless she&#39;s just a psychopath and she&#39;s just following you to your destination. David: 2:30 I would rather have that happen because it would be less awkward to be murdered by a stranger than to have to put children in while you&#39;re like bitch. Exactly. Gavin: 2:40 Hi, Michelle. I I hope little Thomas is doing well. David: 2:43 Anyway. So what did I do? I parked my car and I sat there and I waited for her to go all the way in the building, take her kid in, come all the way out, leave before I got out of the car because I&#39;m a what? A fucking coward. Gavin: 2:58 And I was so embarrassed that she didn&#39;t like give you laser beam eyes as she walked away. I mean, she saw you park. Yeah. Or she&#39;s so delusional. David: 3:08 I I don&#39;t know, but I I basically hid in my car like a fucking coward. So so now I go to daycare. I know what her car looks like. Every day, I&#39;m like, please don&#39;t be there. Please don&#39;t be there. Thankfully, she I think comes at a different time than I do. She leaves at a different time. We almost I&#39;ve never seen her in my life. Um, but yeah, that was my my road range got checked, and I was like, oh, this is so fucking awkward. Gavin: 3:29 There&#39;s a teensy part of you that could have taken the high road and been like, you know what? Maybe she&#39;s having a really hard day. Gave it. David: 3:35 Have you met me? I&#39;ve never taken the high road. Yes. You&#39;re talking Michelle Obama here. When they go low, we go high. When they go low, I go subterranean. You&#39;re Sarah Palin, not Michelle Obama. That is correct. Gavin: 3:46 No, no. I mean, I don&#39;t worry, I was not gonna blame you for anything. I like the idea that maybe she was having a hard day does not justify her actions. But also the fact that, like, if she was having a hard day, like if she&#39;s so passive aggressive, she can&#39;t clearly not aggressive enough to come over to you and go face to face, huh? Which is exactly what you were petrified of. David: 4:06 Yeah, it gets a little awkward. But also, this happens every time I drive, there are people and there&#39;s you know the throwing their hands out the window. Listen, I live in New Jersey. Like, this is what we do, right? Of course. Um, and and so honestly, the the moral of the story is I&#39;m the problem. If this happens to me multiple times when I&#39;m driving, I am the problem, Taylor Swift. It&#39;s me. Um, but you know what&#39;s not a problem? Tell me. Fall festivals and apple picking and hay rides. Gavin: 4:28 Oh my god, you&#39;re such a basic bitch and proud of it. David: 4:31 So basic, but we did all the things. So um, it is officially November 1st today. Yep. Um the kind of like hay ride season is mostly wrapping up. And it is. Gavin: 4:40 We&#39;ve kind of it&#39;s kind of peaked, but we can still get it in for a few weeks. David: 4:44 I feel hey, so that&#39;s what she said. Um, but I feel like the very that&#39;s what they said. Um, but the very beginning of October, I feel like is the best time because it&#39;s just started to get a little chilly, but the apples are still on the trees. I&#39;ve I&#39;ve waited till November a couple times to go apple picking, and they&#39;re like, JK, we don&#39;t have any more apples. So thank you. Gavin: 5:01 You can you can rummage some off the ground that have already been eaten or thrown by terrors, like the terrorists that my children are when they want to pick stuff and just throw them. And I&#39;m like, well, not paying for that, but oh well. David: 5:13 But I&#39;m I&#39;m so basic. Like I I go to those places, and you know, we&#39;re talking, we had, you know, corn mazes and hay rides, and there&#39;s like um pumpkin chunking, chuh chucking, and all that kind of stuff. Gavin: 5:23 Um like this is a full-on festival with competitions. David: 5:27 But it&#39;s the it&#39;s the general store that gets me. I walk into that place and there&#39;s so many homemade pies and and uh like independent companies making chips and all the fucking bullshit you buy at a farm stand. I leave there hundreds of like I have so many pies upstairs, it will blow your fucking mind. I I&#39;m I&#39;m just gonna be. Gavin: 5:47 What are you gonna do with the are you gonna freeze the pies? How or are you just gonna you&#39;re just gonna eat the pies? David: 5:52 You drink, I I mean, I drink, you eat. No, it&#39;s it&#39;s it it&#39;s more of like I I have like a slice of the pie. I feel too super shameful that I even bought it. I know I&#39;m gonna keep eating it, so then I give it to a neighbor, and that&#39;s how we process. Gavin: 6:05 With one wedge taken out of it. Yeah. Now, fall festivals and apple picking. Okay, I grew up in Colorado. We didn&#39;t have apple picking growing up, right? Um, what we did was we picked our own apples because we were farmers in 1876, because we were far homesteaders, right? David: 6:19 But homesteading and mass shootings. That&#39;s kind of what you&#39;re doing. Gavin: 6:23 Oh gosh, sorry, it&#39;s not too much. Should I should I delete that? All three listeners. No, yeah. We get it. We get it. But um anyway, so um, it has been fascinating to me. Maybe I just wasn&#39;t paying attention to apple picking until I had kids, right? And then also in tandem with the rise of social media, I&#39;m like, did apple picking exist before 2007 when people just did everything for the gram? But the amount of every single person, family who has newborns think that they need to take their eight-month-old to an apple picking farm, right? And take all the pictures. Yeah, oh, I did too. I did too. But I&#39;m like, it did people do this 20 years ago? David: 7:01 Probably not. Or maybe they did it, it was like a like, but it is for sure like a thing. Like it is a thing you do in the fall. And I don&#39;t think it was before. Gavin: 7:09 Right. Was it an East Coast thing though? I don&#39;t understand. Hey, listener out there, uh mom, message us, message us and tell us if people in New Jersey and Connecticut were obsessively and making an annual tradition out of going to fall festivals and pick um apple picking and whatnot. David: 7:28 I never had when I was in Florida. And so that&#39;s definitely we just had alligator wrestling and meth making and all that kind of stuff. Gavin: 7:36 But not orange picking. Notice there is no Instagrammable orange picking. David: 7:40 Um Halloween was last night. How was your Halloween? Gavin: 7:44 I mean, girl, I&#39;m a little hungover. Are you in a little bit of a diabetic coma? I&#39;m uh well, no, just literally an alcoholic coma. David: 7:53 Um That&#39;s right. I forgot. I I that&#39;s right, I&#39;m the eater and you&#39;re the drinker. Gavin: 7:57 Yes, I uh I I do have to say Halloween gets more and more fun for me every single year because I am that guy who wishes that he was still in college. And luckily, in my very small town, we have a very fun uh main street crawl that is the whole town is out for it. It&#39;s straight out of the Gremlins movie. I know that is so obscure, but you know what I mean, right? David: 8:17 Or ETH is exactly what you mean. Gavin: 8:19 Not E.T. I mean, E.T. was very suburban door-to-door. Ours is just a cute little main street and it&#39;s just a it&#39;s not a parade, but you know, the kids run wild and the parents pretend to keep up with them. But when your kids are 10 and 12, you&#39;re like, eh, whatever. Text. David: 8:32 That&#39;s the that&#39;s I think that&#39;s been a new layer for me for Halloween, is like seeing it through a kid&#39;s eyes is is one of the rare things that&#39;s actually really fun that way. Christmas is the same way where it&#39;s like, okay, there&#39;s like an added layer here. Yeah. Um otherwise, yeah, fuck the kids. Gavin: 8:44 But I still didn&#39;t dress up because I am just a much, just a bit of a ball humbug. And um considering that a lot of my career has been dressing up in really nice costumes that cost, you know, like not$72 from Walgreens. Now I&#39;m a snob, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t want to wear something from the store. I would rather just be comfortable, cozy, with a koozie in my hand. David: 9:05 So I have a secret for you. This was this is what I figured out because everyone&#39;s like, why aren&#39;t you dressing up? And I feel the same way. I was like, I used to wear like$40,000 costumes. I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t need to wear your bullshit. And I don&#39;t want to put paint on my face. So what I found was so there&#39;s a company called Tipsy L&#39;s, and you haven&#39;t heard of it. They started with like funny sweaters. There was like a college guy&#39;s they were on Shark Tank. Of course. And now they do kind of funny costumes for adults, basically, but they&#39;re high quality. They&#39;re really rare because it&#39;ll be like, yeah, I&#39;m dressed as a fucking potato, but like it&#39;s actually it&#39;s not that like weird fabric that&#39;s like cheap that feels like it&#39;s gonna spontaneously explode. So I bought one of these, it&#39;s one zip, it&#39;s a full, like a jumper, a jumpsuit with a hood, and it&#39;s a skeleton, it&#39;s all black, but it&#39;s like got a skeleton painted on the front, and you can zip up the hood in your face, and then it&#39;s like a full body thing, but it feels like wearing a swobe or a slang. Gavin: 9:57 So you are your basicness in this episode is off the charts. David: 10:02 We should do a like a warning at the top, like warning, Dave will be very basic, but it&#39;s like literally like wearing a blanket, but you look like you&#39;re dressed for Halloween, but it&#39;s still coming, and then you just unzip it and walk out of it, and you&#39;re done. It is the secret. Go to Tipsy Elves. They don&#39;t sponsor the podcast yet, but go to Tipsy Elves, they&#39;re expensive. Now, this thing was like a hundred dollars, but I&#39;ve worn it four years in a row, and it&#39;s it&#39;s fucking great. Sometimes I just like sit around in it. Gavin: 10:24 I was gonna say it must be jammies for the rest of the year, right? Jammies. Yes. David: 10:29 I mean, look what I&#39;m in. I&#39;m I&#39;m in a I&#39;m in a like a cat throwing up lasers super hoodie right now. I do love that. And but and were you dressed up last night? How was your Halloween? I I wore the skeleton jumpsuit. Okay. Um, it was great. The one thing I think I talked about this last episode that annoys me about Halloween with kids is that you have to do two things at once. You have to take your kid trick-or-treating, which is fun and knocking on doors and they get to see it, but then you have to answer your own door and you&#39;re gonna miss one while doing the other. And I really like handing scary kids because I like scared. Yeah, exactly. I like to scare a chance. Because you are a child. You are the psychopath, actually. I am the problem. Again, I am always the problem. But you know what&#39;s not the problem? Tell me top three list. Gavin: 11:10 Gatriarchs. Top three list, three, two, one. Sorry, that was a hat. That was literally a hat on the hat. So, yes, we&#39;re our uh top three list this week is the top three songs that you put on for a family dance party. I hope that you are having the pleasure that I did when my kids were younger, which is lots of dance parties. Now my kids are definitely over it, um, unfortunately. Also, dance parties for us was usually just me swinging the kids around. And eventually I&#39;m like, can you just not? Can I not be the one to have to like lift you and um shake your booty a little bit, you know? Shake your booty. So, in particular, post-bath time uh dance parties are really fun. So, anyway, for us, number three for me was Don&#39;t nobody bring me no bad news from The Wiz. Oh, okay. Got such a great beat and stuff a little story arc. Not a brand new day, though. That&#39;s surprising. No, no, no. David: 12:08 You would think my new day was the dance one. Gavin: 12:10 I know that&#39;s an obscure one and didn&#39;t even get a response from you, even. Number two, When Will My Life Begin from Disney&#39;s Tangled. That&#39;s my favorite princess song. Yeah, we made it. We made it work. It just doesn&#39;t have a dance beat. I&#39;m surprised that&#39;s one of your dance songs. We still we, I mean, uh not anymore, but this is what uh we would often jam to that. And also, my daughter was in a serious princess phase. So that was uh a major song for us, and it turned into dance party songs. All right, and then at number one is Justin Timberlake&#39;s Can&#39;t Stop the Feeling. Because I mean, how can you not shake your ass to that song? David: 12:49 Oh, it&#39;s such a 100%. It&#39;s so great. Such a great song. Gavin: 12:51 Yeah, and it&#39;s and it&#39;s so good for kids, and it&#39;s just kind of friendly. David: 12:54 Anyway, yep. Uh all right. So for me, I want to just clarify that these are the top three songs that my kids like to dance. Like, this is not me choosing, this is like what gets them up on their feet and shaking their little ass. Gavin: 13:08 You are...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David, yet again, embarrasses himself in the daycare parking lot, we talk about our Halloweenies, break down the top 3 family dance party songs, and we are lucky enough to be joined by the worlds very own Rol-aska-tox Joe Dombrowski, where he ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David, yet again, embarrasses himself in the daycare parking lot, we talk about our Halloweenies, break down the top 3 family dance party songs, and we are lucky enough to be joined by the worlds very own Rol-aska-tox Joe Dombrowski, where he shares with us some tea on Ellen Degeneres, takes a pre-parent test (and passes!), and tells us how much touring it takes to pay for a gay wedding.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And then at number one, of course, and predictably Justin Timberlakes can&#39;t stop the beat. Oh God. Can&#39;t stop the feeling. SPEAKER_04: 0:08 Okay, what&#39;s your what&#39;s at the top of your three lists? Is it Scott Joplin? George Gershwin. David: 0:17 And anyway. And this is Gatriarch. So I drive my kids to school every day. And there&#39;s daycare parking lot, right? And so the daycare parking lot where it&#39;s like high fives happen, tears happen, there&#39;s a lot of things that happen. Anyway, the this place, the daycare is in like an industrial park. So there&#39;s other people going different places. And I&#39;m at a stop sign and there are people crossing in front of me. It is not a four-way stop, it is a two-way stop, and then there&#39;s like regular traffic. And I&#39;m waiting for these two cars to pass so I can go forward. And the woman behind me fucking lays on the horn. And I look back in the rearview mirror and she&#39;s like throwing her hands up in the air and she&#39;s like, Go, asshole. You can see she is so mad. There is just her blood is boiling. And I&#39;m like, what the fuck? And of course, because I am who I am, I&#39;m like, okay, now I live at the stop sign. I&#39;m gonna turn off the car. I&#39;m gonna get, I&#39;m gonna take a little nap. Like you, you have re messed with the wrong person. So then I wait for the next car, which is way too far down the road to pass. And she&#39;s laying on her. I&#39;m just so I&#39;m just delighting in her rage. So anyway, I cross, she&#39;s behind me. We&#39;re going through this industrial park, cars are turning everywhere. She&#39;s not turning. And then we get to the daycare and we have to drive all the way around the building and she&#39;s still behind me. And I&#39;m like, oh god. Panicking. Please tell me this is not a fucking parent. Gavin: 1:53 So But she was being stupid. I mean, I&#39;m surprised she&#39;s sure, sure. David: 1:57 But like clearly, she&#39;s been screaming at me in her rear view mirror. I&#39;ve been throwing my like, what? What? There&#39;s cars, hands. There&#39;s been a lot of discussion. So we have to, it&#39;s attached to the YMCA. So we have to drive all the way around the building. And sometimes people park in the YMCA lot because we&#39;re gonna go work out. She doesn&#39;t park in the lot. She follows me all the way. And I realize this is another parent of a kid in the school. And we&#39;re gonna park next to each other and have to get out. And somebody&#39;s gonna have to say that. Gavin: 2:24 And there&#39;s there&#39;s gonna be a scene. Unless she&#39;s just a psychopath and she&#39;s just following you to your destination. David: 2:30 I would rather have that happen because it would be less awkward to be murdered by a stranger than to have to put children in while you&#39;re like bitch. Exactly. Gavin: 2:40 Hi, Michelle. I I hope little Thomas is doing well. David: 2:43 Anyway. So what did I do? I parked my car and I sat there and I waited for her to go all the way in the building, take her kid in, come all the way out, leave before I got out of the car because I&#39;m a what? A fucking coward. Gavin: 2:58 And I was so embarrassed that she didn&#39;t like give you laser beam eyes as she walked away. I mean, she saw you park. Yeah. Or she&#39;s so delusional. David: 3:08 I I don&#39;t know, but I I basically hid in my car like a fucking coward. So so now I go to daycare. I know what her car looks like. Every day, I&#39;m like, please don&#39;t be there. Please don&#39;t be there. Thankfully, she I think comes at a different time than I do. She leaves at a different time. We almost I&#39;ve never seen her in my life. Um, but yeah, that was my my road range got checked, and I was like, oh, this is so fucking awkward. Gavin: 3:29 There&#39;s a teensy part of you that could have taken the high road and been like, you know what? Maybe she&#39;s having a really hard day. Gave it. David: 3:35 Have you met me? I&#39;ve never taken the high road. Yes. You&#39;re talking Michelle Obama here. When they go low, we go high. When they go low, I go subterranean. You&#39;re Sarah Palin, not Michelle Obama. That is correct. Gavin: 3:46 No, no. I mean, I don&#39;t worry, I was not gonna blame you for anything. I like the idea that maybe she was having a hard day does not justify her actions. But also the fact that, like, if she was having a hard day, like if she&#39;s so passive aggressive, she can&#39;t clearly not aggressive enough to come over to you and go face to face, huh? Which is exactly what you were petrified of. David: 4:06 Yeah, it gets a little awkward. But also, this happens every time I drive, there are people and there&#39;s you know the throwing their hands out the window. Listen, I live in New Jersey. Like, this is what we do, right? Of course. Um, and and so honestly, the the moral of the story is I&#39;m the problem. If this happens to me multiple times when I&#39;m driving, I am the problem, Taylor Swift. It&#39;s me. Um, but you know what&#39;s not a problem? Tell me. Fall festivals and apple picking and hay rides. Gavin: 4:28 Oh my god, you&#39;re such a basic bitch and proud of it. David: 4:31 So basic, but we did all the things. So um, it is officially November 1st today. Yep. Um the kind of like hay ride season is mostly wrapping up. And it is. Gavin: 4:40 We&#39;ve kind of it&#39;s kind of peaked, but we can still get it in for a few weeks. David: 4:44 I feel hey, so that&#39;s what she said. Um, but I feel like the very that&#39;s what they said. Um, but the very beginning of October, I feel like is the best time because it&#39;s just started to get a little chilly, but the apples are still on the trees. I&#39;ve I&#39;ve waited till November a couple times to go apple picking, and they&#39;re like, JK, we don&#39;t have any more apples. So thank you. Gavin: 5:01 You can you can rummage some off the ground that have already been eaten or thrown by terrors, like the terrorists that my children are when they want to pick stuff and just throw them. And I&#39;m like, well, not paying for that, but oh well. David: 5:13 But I&#39;m I&#39;m so basic. Like I I go to those places, and you know, we&#39;re talking, we had, you know, corn mazes and hay rides, and there&#39;s like um pumpkin chunking, chuh chucking, and all that kind of stuff. Gavin: 5:23 Um like this is a full-on festival with competitions. David: 5:27 But it&#39;s the it&#39;s the general store that gets me. I walk into that place and there&#39;s so many homemade pies and and uh like independent companies making chips and all the fucking bullshit you buy at a farm stand. I leave there hundreds of like I have so many pies upstairs, it will blow your fucking mind. I I&#39;m I&#39;m just gonna be. Gavin: 5:47 What are you gonna do with the are you gonna freeze the pies? How or are you just gonna you&#39;re just gonna eat the pies? David: 5:52 You drink, I I mean, I drink, you eat. No, it&#39;s it&#39;s it it&#39;s more of like I I have like a slice of the pie. I feel too super shameful that I even bought it. I know I&#39;m gonna keep eating it, so then I give it to a neighbor, and that&#39;s how we process. Gavin: 6:05 With one wedge taken out of it. Yeah. Now, fall festivals and apple picking. Okay, I grew up in Colorado. We didn&#39;t have apple picking growing up, right? Um, what we did was we picked our own apples because we were farmers in 1876, because we were far homesteaders, right? David: 6:19 But homesteading and mass shootings. That&#39;s kind of what you&#39;re doing. Gavin: 6:23 Oh gosh, sorry, it&#39;s not too much. Should I should I delete that? All three listeners. No, yeah. We get it. We get it. But um anyway, so um, it has been fascinating to me. Maybe I just wasn&#39;t paying attention to apple picking until I had kids, right? And then also in tandem with the rise of social media, I&#39;m like, did apple picking exist before 2007 when people just did everything for the gram? But the amount of every single person, family who has newborns think that they need to take their eight-month-old to an apple picking farm, right? And take all the pictures. Yeah, oh, I did too. I did too. But I&#39;m like, it did people do this 20 years ago? David: 7:01 Probably not. Or maybe they did it, it was like a like, but it is for sure like a thing. Like it is a thing you do in the fall. And I don&#39;t think it was before. Gavin: 7:09 Right. Was it an East Coast thing though? I don&#39;t understand. Hey, listener out there, uh mom, message us, message us and tell us if people in New Jersey and Connecticut were obsessively and making an annual tradition out of going to fall festivals and pick um apple picking and whatnot. David: 7:28 I never had when I was in Florida. And so that&#39;s definitely we just had alligator wrestling and meth making and all that kind of stuff. Gavin: 7:36 But not orange picking. Notice there is no Instagrammable orange picking. David: 7:40 Um Halloween was last night. How was your Halloween? Gavin: 7:44 I mean, girl, I&#39;m a little hungover. Are you in a little bit of a diabetic coma? I&#39;m uh well, no, just literally an alcoholic coma. David: 7:53 Um That&#39;s right. I forgot. I I that&#39;s right, I&#39;m the eater and you&#39;re the drinker. Gavin: 7:57 Yes, I uh I I do have to say Halloween gets more and more fun for me every single year because I am that guy who wishes that he was still in college. And luckily, in my very small town, we have a very fun uh main street crawl that is the whole town is out for it. It&#39;s straight out of the Gremlins movie. I know that is so obscure, but you know what I mean, right? David: 8:17 Or ETH is exactly what you mean. Gavin: 8:19 Not E.T. I mean, E.T. was very suburban door-to-door. Ours is just a cute little main street and it&#39;s just a it&#39;s not a parade, but you know, the kids run wild and the parents pretend to keep up with them. But when your kids are 10 and 12, you&#39;re like, eh, whatever. Text. David: 8:32 That&#39;s the that&#39;s I think that&#39;s been a new layer for me for Halloween, is like seeing it through a kid&#39;s eyes is is one of the rare things that&#39;s actually really fun that way. Christmas is the same way where it&#39;s like, okay, there&#39;s like an added layer here. Yeah. Um otherwise, yeah, fuck the kids. Gavin: 8:44 But I still didn&#39;t dress up because I am just a much, just a bit of a ball humbug. And um considering that a lot of my career has been dressing up in really nice costumes that cost, you know, like not$72 from Walgreens. Now I&#39;m a snob, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t want to wear something from the store. I would rather just be comfortable, cozy, with a koozie in my hand. David: 9:05 So I have a secret for you. This was this is what I figured out because everyone&#39;s like, why aren&#39;t you dressing up? And I feel the same way. I was like, I used to wear like$40,000 costumes. I don&#39;t, I don&#39;t need to wear your bullshit. And I don&#39;t want to put paint on my face. So what I found was so there&#39;s a company called Tipsy L&#39;s, and you haven&#39;t heard of it. They started with like funny sweaters. There was like a college guy&#39;s they were on Shark Tank. Of course. And now they do kind of funny costumes for adults, basically, but they&#39;re high quality. They&#39;re really rare because it&#39;ll be like, yeah, I&#39;m dressed as a fucking potato, but like it&#39;s actually it&#39;s not that like weird fabric that&#39;s like cheap that feels like it&#39;s gonna spontaneously explode. So I bought one of these, it&#39;s one zip, it&#39;s a full, like a jumper, a jumpsuit with a hood, and it&#39;s a skeleton, it&#39;s all black, but it&#39;s like got a skeleton painted on the front, and you can zip up the hood in your face, and then it&#39;s like a full body thing, but it feels like wearing a swobe or a slang. Gavin: 9:57 So you are your basicness in this episode is off the charts. David: 10:02 We should do a like a warning at the top, like warning, Dave will be very basic, but it&#39;s like literally like wearing a blanket, but you look like you&#39;re dressed for Halloween, but it&#39;s still coming, and then you just unzip it and walk out of it, and you&#39;re done. It is the secret. Go to Tipsy Elves. They don&#39;t sponsor the podcast yet, but go to Tipsy Elves, they&#39;re expensive. Now, this thing was like a hundred dollars, but I&#39;ve worn it four years in a row, and it&#39;s it&#39;s fucking great. Sometimes I just like sit around in it. Gavin: 10:24 I was gonna say it must be jammies for the rest of the year, right? Jammies. Yes. David: 10:29 I mean, look what I&#39;m in. I&#39;m I&#39;m in a I&#39;m in a like a cat throwing up lasers super hoodie right now. I do love that. And but and were you dressed up last night? How was your Halloween? I I wore the skeleton jumpsuit. Okay. Um, it was great. The one thing I think I talked about this last episode that annoys me about Halloween with kids is that you have to do two things at once. You have to take your kid trick-or-treating, which is fun and knocking on doors and they get to see it, but then you have to answer your own door and you&#39;re gonna miss one while doing the other. And I really like handing scary kids because I like scared. Yeah, exactly. I like to scare a chance. Because you are a child. You are the psychopath, actually. I am the problem. Again, I am always the problem. But you know what&#39;s not the problem? Tell me top three list. Gavin: 11:10 Gatriarchs. Top three list, three, two, one. Sorry, that was a hat. That was literally a hat on the hat. So, yes, we&#39;re our uh top three list this week is the top three songs that you put on for a family dance party. I hope that you are having the pleasure that I did when my kids were younger, which is lots of dance parties. Now my kids are definitely over it, um, unfortunately. Also, dance parties for us was usually just me swinging the kids around. And eventually I&#39;m like, can you just not? Can I not be the one to have to like lift you and um shake your booty a little bit, you know? Shake your booty. So, in particular, post-bath time uh dance parties are really fun. So, anyway, for us, number three for me was Don&#39;t nobody bring me no bad news from The Wiz. Oh, okay. Got such a great beat and stuff a little story arc. Not a brand new day, though. That&#39;s surprising. No, no, no. David: 12:08 You would think my new day was the dance one. Gavin: 12:10 I know that&#39;s an obscure one and didn&#39;t even get a response from you, even. Number two, When Will My Life Begin from Disney&#39;s Tangled. That&#39;s my favorite princess song. Yeah, we made it. We made it work. It just doesn&#39;t have a dance beat. I&#39;m surprised that&#39;s one of your dance songs. We still we, I mean, uh not anymore, but this is what uh we would often jam to that. And also, my daughter was in a serious princess phase. So that was uh a major song for us, and it turned into dance party songs. All right, and then at number one is Justin Timberlake&#39;s Can&#39;t Stop the Feeling. Because I mean, how can you not shake your ass to that song? David: 12:49 Oh, it&#39;s such a 100%. It&#39;s so great. Such a great song. Gavin: 12:51 Yeah, and it&#39;s and it&#39;s so good for kids, and it&#39;s just kind of friendly. David: 12:54 Anyway, yep. Uh all right. So for me, I want to just clarify that these are the top three songs that my kids like to dance. Like, this is not me choosing, this is like what gets them up on their feet and shaking their little ass. Gavin: 13:08 You are...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David, yet again, embarrasses himself in the daycare parking lot, we talk about our Halloweenies, break down the top 3 family dance party songs, and we are lucky enough to be joined by the worlds very own Rol-aska-tox Joe Dombrowski, where he shares with us some tea on Ellen Degeneres, takes a pre-parent test (and passes!), and tells us how much touring it takes to pay for a gay wedding.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And then at number one, of course, and predictably Justin Timberlakes can&#39;t stop the beat. Oh God. Can&#39;t stop the feeling. SPEAKER_04: 0:08 Okay, what&#39;s your what&#39;s at the top of your three lists? Is it Scott Joplin? George Gershwin. David: 0:17 And anyway. And this is Gatriarch. So I drive my kids to school every day. And there&#39;s daycare parking lot, right? And so the daycare parking lot where it&#39;s like high fives happen, tears happen, there&#39;s a lot of things that happen. Anyway, the this place, the daycare is in like an industrial park. So there&#39;s other people going different places. And I&#39;m at a stop sign and there are people crossing in front of me. It is not a four-way stop, it is a two-way stop, and then there&#39;s like regular traffic. And I&#39;m waiting for these two cars to pass so I can go forward. And the woman behind me fucking lays on the horn. And I look back in the rearview mirror and she&#39;s like throwing her hands up in the air and she&#39;s like, Go, asshole. You can see she is so mad. There is just her blood is boiling. And I&#39;m like, what the fuck? And of course, because I am who I am, I&#39;m like, okay, now I live at the stop sign. I&#39;m gonna turn off the car. I&#39;m gonna get, I&#39;m gonna take a little nap. Like you, you have re messed with the wrong person. So then I wait for the next car, which is way too far down the road to pass. And she&#39;s laying on her. I&#39;m just so I&#39;m just delighting in her rage. So anyway, I cross, she&#39;s behind me. We&#39;re going through this industrial park, cars are turning everywhere. She&#39;s not turning. And then we get to the daycare and we have to drive all the way around the building and she&#39;s still behind me. And I&#39;m like, oh god. Panicking. Please tell me this is not a fucking parent. Gavin: 1:53 So But she was being stupid. I mean, I&#39;m surprised she&#39;s sure, sure. David: 1:57 But like clearly, she&#39;s been screaming at me in her rear view mirror. I&#39;ve been throwing my like, what? What? There&#39;s cars, hands. There&#39;s been a lot of discussion. So we have to, it&#39;s attached to the YMCA. So we have to drive all the way around the building. And sometimes people park in the YMCA lot because we&#39;re gonna go work out. She doesn&#39;t park in the lot. She follows me all the way. And I realize this is another parent of a kid in the school. And we&#39;re gonna park next to each other and have to get out. And somebody&#39;s gonna have to say that. Gavin: 2:24 And there&#39;s there&#39;s gonna be a scene. Unless she&#39;s just a psychopath and she&#39;s just following you to your destination. David: 2:30 I would rather have that happen because it would be less awkward to be murdered by a stranger than to have to put children in while you&#39;re like bitch. Exactly. Gavin: 2:40 Hi, Michelle. I I hope little Thomas is doing well. David: 2:43 Anyway. So what did I do? I parked my car and I sat there and I waited for her to go all the way in the building, take her kid in, come all the way out, leave before I got out of the car because I&#39;m a what? A fucking coward. Gavin: 2:58 And I was so embarrassed that she didn&#39;t like give you laser beam eyes as she walked away. I mean, she saw you park. Yeah. Or she&#39;s so delusional. David: 3:08 I I don&#39;t know, but I I basically hid in my car like a fucking coward. So so now I go to daycare. I know what her car looks like. Every day, I&#39;m like, please don&#39;t be there. Please don&#39;t be there. Thankfu]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David, yet again, embarrasses himself in the daycare parking lot, we talk about our Halloweenies, break down the top 3 family dance party songs, and we are lucky enough to be joined by the worlds very own Rol-aska-tox Joe Dombrowski, where he shares with us some tea on Ellen Degeneres, takes a pre-parent test (and passes!), and tells us how much touring it takes to pay for a gay wedding.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And then at number one, of course, and predictably Justin Timberlakes can&#39;t stop the beat. Oh God. Can&#39;t stop the feeling. SPEAKER_04: 0:08 Okay, what&#39;s your what&#39;s at the top of your three lists? Is it Scott Joplin? George Gershwin. David: 0:17 And anyway. And this is Gatriarch. So I drive my kids to school every day. And there&#39;s daycare parking lot, right? And so the daycare parking lot where it&#39;s like high fives happen, tears happen, there&#39;s a lot of things that happen. Anyway, the this place, the daycare is in like an industr]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Deric Cahill</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-deric-cahill/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 25 Oct 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s Halloween week, and David isn&apos;t quite sure how old he is. We talk about the top 3 baby items that are complete garbage, and are joined by TikTok funny man Deric Cahill aka BoldFam who talks to us about his social media and how he takes no shit from anyone, why the hell he started a chocolate business, and what getting a DUI at 23 did to his point of view on parenting. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;ll get a Spotify list out of this. A sponsify a Spotify sponsorship, in fact. A Sponsify. That&#39;s, I think, what my brain was trying to put together. What is my problem? There&#39;s a long list and it&#39;s undiagnosed. It&#39;s so many. I mean, I&#39;m a communicator. I know how to speak. I can give fucking speeches. And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_03: 0:22 Shut up. Got you, bitch. Got you. David: 0:40 So Gaben, this weekend I was in Florida. My mom is moving, so I went down with my son, and we basically helping her pack and go through old boxes forever. And one of the things I was going through was like all of my old stuff that my mom&#39;s kept, you know, baby shoes and all the things that parents keep, right? Gavin: 0:56 That&#39;s quite a journey to do something like that. David: 0:58 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And one of the things I came across was one of those like baby books that you like fill out the questions. It&#39;ll be like, my first thought was blah, blah, blah, blah. And like most baby books, it was like halfway filled out because they had to raise a fucking screaming child. And um I was just for context for the situation. I am I was born in 1979, October 23rd, which um uh was two days ago. So happy birthday to me. Happy belated birthday. Yep, 1979. And um, so I opened this baby book and it was like, you know, it&#39;s got all the things. It&#39;s like, you know, here&#39;s how much he weighed when he was born, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m looking at it and I look at the date, and it says, born October 23rd, 1980. Oh and I just stopped. I froze and I went, Mom? She&#39;s like, what? I was like, when was I born? She goes, 1979. I said, why does this say 1980? And she&#39;s like, Oh, your dad must have written it wrong. Well, then I find a card. You know, the card that they would slip in the box that the baby sleep in that says, like, welcome, it&#39;s a boy, you know, David One. Yes. October 23rd, 1980. I said, Mom, am I not the right age that I think I&#39;m lying about my age? Also, am I a year younger? Oh my god. Why do I look like shit? SPEAKER_03: 2:16 Why do I look older three when I&#39;m 42? David: 2:20 She swears, now, all my IDs, my birth certificate, everything else in my life says 1979. Including the birth certificate. You actually verified that. Correct. Everything else says 19, or the these two things say 1980. So I just had this like thing, I was like, am I not? It&#39;s like somebody telling you, oh yeah, you were this isn&#39;t your dad. Your real dad is blah blah blah. So it totally shook me. Yeah, it totally shook me to the core, which is I quite. Gavin: 2:42 Wait a minute, but you you haven&#39;t really resolved this question though. David: 2:47 My mom swears, she&#39;s like, your dad must have written it wrong. Maybe the nurse wrote it wrong too, but like your birth certificate, I swear it was 1979. And you know, so who knows, Gavin? I just may be devastatingly young for this haggard looking face. Gavin: 3:01 But I was, uh yeah, I mean, insert all the jokes there. You know, I have a friend whose parents, I guess, against her will, sort of redshirted her from the time she was born because she was born like after our school cutoff, right? So for her entire life until she graduated from high school, she didn&#39;t know what her real birthday was. Her parents lied to her for 18 years. That&#39;s so about being born, I don&#39;t know, September 17th instead of uh November 3rd. Something I mean, it was an arbitrary just few weeks. It wasn&#39;t years off, it was just weeks off. So that I they were like, we got to get this girl out of the house and into school as soon as possible. So they just lied about her age for her entire life. David: 3:45 Um, this I just got a text from my mom while you were talking that couldn&#39;t be more applicable to this conversation. She just texted me. Guess what else I found? Your little teeth that the tooth fairy left here. And she sent me a picture of a plastic Ziploc bag with children&#39;s teeth in it. Oh my god, can we stop doing this? That is so like my mom also like there&#39;s also like clips of my hair in it. I was like, why are we maintaining biological material from our children? There&#39;s teeth in bags. I I can&#39;t. Gavin: 4:20 Are you ready? Gave it for another story. Oh no. So when I was cleaning out my childhood home, my mom kept everything. I mean, rubber-banded um stacks of cards from when she was pregnant, when she found out she was pregnant, and all of her friends in the 1930s would send her cards that congratulations. I mean, it was all the formalities of back in the day, Anne Landers saying that you need to send a card for this, that, and the other. She kept all of it. When she was pregnant, when she had me, my six months, my first birthday, all of it rubber banded together, et cetera, et cetera. She was very organized in like big chests of stuff. So I&#39;m going through stuff and I find my my first uh spit-up rag and my first uh I don&#39;t know, diaper pin, and my first this, that, and the other. And I&#39;m going through and it&#39;s like this is baby&#39;s first vodka soda. And it was empty. And I get a plastic bag. Um, it was just uh it was pre-Ziplock, because yes, the 1620s, just a little uh bag, and I&#39;m like, what is this little piece of big brown plastic in here? Like something hard and whatever. And I and I flip it over, and I see in my mom&#39;s handwriting, it says Gavin&#39;s foreskin. SPEAKER_03: 5:39 No, oh my god, oh my god, no, no, I was so hoping you would say like fucking like umbilical cord. By the way, it was huge. Oh, oh Gaven, no. Why it was why do our parents keep parts of our bodies? Why? Your foreskin? David: 6:07 Yeah, did it just look like this like little like calamari that couldn&#39;t? SPEAKER_03: 6:16 Yes. David: 6:17 Yes, oh it was it was a huge calamari that couldn&#39;t. Okay, Gayvin, we get it. You have a huge deck. Um that okay, so let&#39;s just say from now on, I know we have our top three list, which is top three baby products that are garbage, but can we just say, like, for now, let&#39;s not keep the biological remnants of our children in little plastic bags because when your adult children find them, they will be horrified. Gavin: 6:42 But then they&#39;ll be able to start a podcast about it and make millions of dollars. That&#39;s true. David: 6:45 Well, speaking of weird, creepy things, Halloween is this week. Halloween is coming up, and I&#39;m so excited. I am a Halloween girl. Of course you are. And Christmas is always number one for me, but just under Christmas is Halloween. Gavin: 6:58 You are just you are home goods wrapped up in all of their wet dreams. David: 7:02 100%. Like I have live, laugh, love on my living room wall. I am very sick as fuck. But I wanted to talk quickly about Halloween before we get to our top three lists and then our guests, which I&#39;m very excited about. Um, which is like Halloween is is is a fan, it&#39;s like a kid thing too. Like, I think of Halloween now selfishly, just for me, because I do this really elaborate front yard decoration every year. And it&#39;s always got a theme, and there&#39;s always lighting and music, and it&#39;s like always a big fucking thing. But like Halloween is like trick-or-treating with kids. And this is something that I always dreamed about when I, before I became a parent, was like, oh, it&#39;ll be so fun. And and so I was just curious as like, what do you how do you trick-or-treat with your kids? Your kids are much older now. Um, but like, what is your trick-or-treating point of view? Gavin: 7:44 Well, first of all, I it defin it definitely seems like almost my entire time as a parent, Halloween has been about drinking on the streets. David: 7:54 And every story you tell says it reminds me of drinking, and we gotta talk about that. Gavin: 7:59 Every place I&#39;ve ever lived, the parents walk around with their like, you know, coffee mugs, you know, making its little uh ice cube noises, and we&#39;re just walking along behind the kids as they just go running roughshod, sprinting between locations. When we lived in New York, we went to stores, which was a New York City thing. Yeah. Very novel. I mean, I have pictures of five or six years in a row of my kids running across the um Tiffany&#39;s logo on the floor because we would go to a bougie place to shop, by the way, or to trick or treat. By the way, they didn&#39;t exactly give big bougie uh candy. But anyway, and then I would walk behind them uh drinking. And then now where we live, there&#39;s an adorable main street that we walk up and down, and it&#39;s basically just a bar crawl for the parents, except there&#39;s no bars. So it&#39;s just like a you know, a koozie crawl. Yeah. So that&#39;s my Halloween experience. What do my kids do? By this point, luckily, I don&#39;t have to have eyes on them all the time. We just somehow stumble around in the dark because there&#39;s literally no lights on the street. We stumble around in the dark and eventually find them. And it&#39;s really fun. Really, really fun. David: 9:07 It is fun, right? Like I have a uh we we have this weird thing. Uh I don&#39;t know if this is like a regional thing, but like there&#39;s like two waves of Halloween in our area. There&#39;s wave one, which is at like 4 p.m. when the sun is still fucking bright, where it&#39;s like really, really, really young kids who just got off of school, which I hate because to me, Halloween always starts at dusk. But um, and then there&#39;s a second wave once it&#39;s dark, where like teenagers, bigger families start to come or whatever. Um, I I I fucking love it. But I I feel like I figured out a Halloween hack as the host, right? Like, because that&#39;s the one thing I hate is that I want to go out trick-or-treating with my kids, but I want to answer the door to trick-or-treaters too, because I always scare kids. I will not just give them candy. They have to fucking earn it. So I always open the door with a scary mask, I jump out at them, I have smoke, there&#39;s like a whole thing. But one trick I learned is don&#39;t buy the giant bags of like little baby candies. Yeah. Because A, that&#39;s not impressive, and B, that&#39;s all the kids are getting. Here&#39;s what you do you go to Costco and you buy the big bulk things of full size candy bars. Now you&#39;re I hear what you&#39;re saying, David. That&#39;s so expensive. That&#39;s so great crazy. It actually equals out to be cheaper because you give them each person gets one bar. Now, to them, it&#39;s super fucking impressive. I get a giant fucking MMs bag. Yeah. Yes, you do, but that bag only cost me 40 cents. But if I&#39;d given you a giant handful of these little candies, it cost me more. So it&#39;s more impressive to the kids. And it&#39;s uh it&#39;s uh it&#39;s home economics, really. Gavin: 10:35 They&#39;re they&#39;re like, we always want to go back to that house where that creepy old man who looks 57, even though we&#39;re pretty sure he&#39;s only 42, and he scares the shit out of us. David: 10:44 But when was that man born? That&#39;s the question on the street. We want to know when that man was born. Um, this year I took um a viral TikTok trend, which was I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve seen it, it was like the skeletons throwing up poison into like a big barrel. Have you seen this? Like, I&#39;ll take your word for it. Gavin: 10:58 Nope. Anyway, so glad you&#39;re here to translate what the kids are doing. David: 11:02 So basically, I did a version of that where like you get like basically a water pump and you snake it up through the skeleton&#39;s mouth, and then it like is vomiting, and then you put like phosphorescent liquid in it so you can hit it with UV light and it looks really cool, and it&#39;s poison. So I did a version of that where I have a skeleton party, like a skeleton frat party. So I have a one skeleton doing a keg stand upside down. I have all these like things, and he&#39;s drinking poison, he&#39;s doing a keg stand, and then I have another skeleton face down in a toilet throwing up, and I have like the poison coming on. It&#39;s all black light, it&#39;s all got moving stuff. So I&#39;ll start. Gavin: 11:35 Set up. Uh, we we definitely need to be able to see that on our socials. David: 11:38 That&#39;ll go viral. Yeah, I&#39;ll post it during um this week when the episode releases. So anyway, happy Halloween, everyone. I fucking love Halloween so much. And um go trick-or-treating and get some uh razors in the candy like we used to be afraid of in the 90s. SPEAKER_03: 11:53 Let&#39;s move on to our top three list. David: 11:56 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Gotta love that. Those dulcet tones. Yeah. Do you think that&#39;s a you think that&#39;s gonna be Grammy nominated? Your little thing? Gavin: 12:07 No? Uh, I think it&#39;s ineligible because it&#39;s um such a high level of musicality. And it&#39;s too short. It&#39;s too short. You can&#39;t do Grammys for that. Anyway, uh, moving on from you uh razzing me. What is this week&#39;s top three list? David: 12:20 Um, this week um is top three baby products that are garbage. And you reminded me when we started this recording that um we may have done this before. And guess what? That&#39;s all right. Everyone needs to get the fuck over it because we don&#39;t get paid for this. Gavin: 12:32 So we&#39;re just a lot of but there&#39;s a lot of garbage out there too. David: 12:36 And this is episode 36. So um we we forget sometimes, and we&#39;re old. Well, Gavin&#39;s old. I&#39;m maybe 42, who knows? Um, so top three baby products that are garbage. Now, there&#39;s two ways we could have gone with this that they are just don&#39;t work right or you don&#39;t need, and I kind of have a mixture of two. So, number three for me, baby shoes. Nonsense. Stop it. Stop it. Nonsense. Babies will never walk um unless they&#39;re Jesus. They might walk on water and then just get them some Crocs. Baby shoes are just for decoration, and you don&#39;t have time to decorate your child. Yes. Gavin: 13:12 So please, baby shoes. Head headed into parenting. You think it&#39;s gonna be all about the decoration, but let&#39;s face it, you just need a onesie and go. So yeah, good. Absolutely. David: 13:21 Um, uh, number two for me, boogie wipes. Have you seen these? They&#39;re like little wet wipes that say boogie wipes, so you can wipe your child&#39;s nose. Nonsense. That&#39;s a napkin. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re rebranding this as a special thing I need. That is literally a wet wipe. All you need is a wet wipe, or what I do, lift up their own shirt and wipe their fucking noses. Um, and number one, and now this was submitted to me by one of our listeners, aka our first surrogate, aka my sister-in-law, aka one of my favorite listeners, Erin, baby cologne. Did you know this existed? Oh, geez. I had no idea. When she texted me that, I thought that this is a joke, right? She sent me an Amazon link. Baby Cologne. Everyone out there who&#39;s buying baby cologne, walk into traffic. Um, that&#39;s my that&#39;s my top three list. What about you? Gavin: 14:14 All right, so for me, number three is honestly, toys of any kind. Oh, yeah. I mean, it&#39;s just it just takes up space. You think that you&#39;re going to use some kind of toy with your kids? No, no, they are just houseplants for the first nine months. And don&#39;t get them toys until, frankly, they&#39;re about maybe two. Uh, because even at one, they just want to like play with the you know, the Tupperware in the cabinet. So honestly, toys...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s Halloween week, and David isn&apos;t quite sure how old he is. We talk about the top 3 baby items that are complete garbage, and are joined by TikTok funny man Deric Cahill aka BoldFam who talks to us about his social media and how he takes no ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s Halloween week, and David isn&apos;t quite sure how old he is. We talk about the top 3 baby items that are complete garbage, and are joined by TikTok funny man Deric Cahill aka BoldFam who talks to us about his social media and how he takes no shit from anyone, why the hell he started a chocolate business, and what getting a DUI at 23 did to his point of view on parenting. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;ll get a Spotify list out of this. A sponsify a Spotify sponsorship, in fact. A Sponsify. That&#39;s, I think, what my brain was trying to put together. What is my problem? There&#39;s a long list and it&#39;s undiagnosed. It&#39;s so many. I mean, I&#39;m a communicator. I know how to speak. I can give fucking speeches. And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_03: 0:22 Shut up. Got you, bitch. Got you. David: 0:40 So Gaben, this weekend I was in Florida. My mom is moving, so I went down with my son, and we basically helping her pack and go through old boxes forever. And one of the things I was going through was like all of my old stuff that my mom&#39;s kept, you know, baby shoes and all the things that parents keep, right? Gavin: 0:56 That&#39;s quite a journey to do something like that. David: 0:58 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And one of the things I came across was one of those like baby books that you like fill out the questions. It&#39;ll be like, my first thought was blah, blah, blah, blah. And like most baby books, it was like halfway filled out because they had to raise a fucking screaming child. And um I was just for context for the situation. I am I was born in 1979, October 23rd, which um uh was two days ago. So happy birthday to me. Happy belated birthday. Yep, 1979. And um, so I opened this baby book and it was like, you know, it&#39;s got all the things. It&#39;s like, you know, here&#39;s how much he weighed when he was born, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m looking at it and I look at the date, and it says, born October 23rd, 1980. Oh and I just stopped. I froze and I went, Mom? She&#39;s like, what? I was like, when was I born? She goes, 1979. I said, why does this say 1980? And she&#39;s like, Oh, your dad must have written it wrong. Well, then I find a card. You know, the card that they would slip in the box that the baby sleep in that says, like, welcome, it&#39;s a boy, you know, David One. Yes. October 23rd, 1980. I said, Mom, am I not the right age that I think I&#39;m lying about my age? Also, am I a year younger? Oh my god. Why do I look like shit? SPEAKER_03: 2:16 Why do I look older three when I&#39;m 42? David: 2:20 She swears, now, all my IDs, my birth certificate, everything else in my life says 1979. Including the birth certificate. You actually verified that. Correct. Everything else says 19, or the these two things say 1980. So I just had this like thing, I was like, am I not? It&#39;s like somebody telling you, oh yeah, you were this isn&#39;t your dad. Your real dad is blah blah blah. So it totally shook me. Yeah, it totally shook me to the core, which is I quite. Gavin: 2:42 Wait a minute, but you you haven&#39;t really resolved this question though. David: 2:47 My mom swears, she&#39;s like, your dad must have written it wrong. Maybe the nurse wrote it wrong too, but like your birth certificate, I swear it was 1979. And you know, so who knows, Gavin? I just may be devastatingly young for this haggard looking face. Gavin: 3:01 But I was, uh yeah, I mean, insert all the jokes there. You know, I have a friend whose parents, I guess, against her will, sort of redshirted her from the time she was born because she was born like after our school cutoff, right? So for her entire life until she graduated from high school, she didn&#39;t know what her real birthday was. Her parents lied to her for 18 years. That&#39;s so about being born, I don&#39;t know, September 17th instead of uh November 3rd. Something I mean, it was an arbitrary just few weeks. It wasn&#39;t years off, it was just weeks off. So that I they were like, we got to get this girl out of the house and into school as soon as possible. So they just lied about her age for her entire life. David: 3:45 Um, this I just got a text from my mom while you were talking that couldn&#39;t be more applicable to this conversation. She just texted me. Guess what else I found? Your little teeth that the tooth fairy left here. And she sent me a picture of a plastic Ziploc bag with children&#39;s teeth in it. Oh my god, can we stop doing this? That is so like my mom also like there&#39;s also like clips of my hair in it. I was like, why are we maintaining biological material from our children? There&#39;s teeth in bags. I I can&#39;t. Gavin: 4:20 Are you ready? Gave it for another story. Oh no. So when I was cleaning out my childhood home, my mom kept everything. I mean, rubber-banded um stacks of cards from when she was pregnant, when she found out she was pregnant, and all of her friends in the 1930s would send her cards that congratulations. I mean, it was all the formalities of back in the day, Anne Landers saying that you need to send a card for this, that, and the other. She kept all of it. When she was pregnant, when she had me, my six months, my first birthday, all of it rubber banded together, et cetera, et cetera. She was very organized in like big chests of stuff. So I&#39;m going through stuff and I find my my first uh spit-up rag and my first uh I don&#39;t know, diaper pin, and my first this, that, and the other. And I&#39;m going through and it&#39;s like this is baby&#39;s first vodka soda. And it was empty. And I get a plastic bag. Um, it was just uh it was pre-Ziplock, because yes, the 1620s, just a little uh bag, and I&#39;m like, what is this little piece of big brown plastic in here? Like something hard and whatever. And I and I flip it over, and I see in my mom&#39;s handwriting, it says Gavin&#39;s foreskin. SPEAKER_03: 5:39 No, oh my god, oh my god, no, no, I was so hoping you would say like fucking like umbilical cord. By the way, it was huge. Oh, oh Gaven, no. Why it was why do our parents keep parts of our bodies? Why? Your foreskin? David: 6:07 Yeah, did it just look like this like little like calamari that couldn&#39;t? SPEAKER_03: 6:16 Yes. David: 6:17 Yes, oh it was it was a huge calamari that couldn&#39;t. Okay, Gayvin, we get it. You have a huge deck. Um that okay, so let&#39;s just say from now on, I know we have our top three list, which is top three baby products that are garbage, but can we just say, like, for now, let&#39;s not keep the biological remnants of our children in little plastic bags because when your adult children find them, they will be horrified. Gavin: 6:42 But then they&#39;ll be able to start a podcast about it and make millions of dollars. That&#39;s true. David: 6:45 Well, speaking of weird, creepy things, Halloween is this week. Halloween is coming up, and I&#39;m so excited. I am a Halloween girl. Of course you are. And Christmas is always number one for me, but just under Christmas is Halloween. Gavin: 6:58 You are just you are home goods wrapped up in all of their wet dreams. David: 7:02 100%. Like I have live, laugh, love on my living room wall. I am very sick as fuck. But I wanted to talk quickly about Halloween before we get to our top three lists and then our guests, which I&#39;m very excited about. Um, which is like Halloween is is is a fan, it&#39;s like a kid thing too. Like, I think of Halloween now selfishly, just for me, because I do this really elaborate front yard decoration every year. And it&#39;s always got a theme, and there&#39;s always lighting and music, and it&#39;s like always a big fucking thing. But like Halloween is like trick-or-treating with kids. And this is something that I always dreamed about when I, before I became a parent, was like, oh, it&#39;ll be so fun. And and so I was just curious as like, what do you how do you trick-or-treat with your kids? Your kids are much older now. Um, but like, what is your trick-or-treating point of view? Gavin: 7:44 Well, first of all, I it defin it definitely seems like almost my entire time as a parent, Halloween has been about drinking on the streets. David: 7:54 And every story you tell says it reminds me of drinking, and we gotta talk about that. Gavin: 7:59 Every place I&#39;ve ever lived, the parents walk around with their like, you know, coffee mugs, you know, making its little uh ice cube noises, and we&#39;re just walking along behind the kids as they just go running roughshod, sprinting between locations. When we lived in New York, we went to stores, which was a New York City thing. Yeah. Very novel. I mean, I have pictures of five or six years in a row of my kids running across the um Tiffany&#39;s logo on the floor because we would go to a bougie place to shop, by the way, or to trick or treat. By the way, they didn&#39;t exactly give big bougie uh candy. But anyway, and then I would walk behind them uh drinking. And then now where we live, there&#39;s an adorable main street that we walk up and down, and it&#39;s basically just a bar crawl for the parents, except there&#39;s no bars. So it&#39;s just like a you know, a koozie crawl. Yeah. So that&#39;s my Halloween experience. What do my kids do? By this point, luckily, I don&#39;t have to have eyes on them all the time. We just somehow stumble around in the dark because there&#39;s literally no lights on the street. We stumble around in the dark and eventually find them. And it&#39;s really fun. Really, really fun. David: 9:07 It is fun, right? Like I have a uh we we have this weird thing. Uh I don&#39;t know if this is like a regional thing, but like there&#39;s like two waves of Halloween in our area. There&#39;s wave one, which is at like 4 p.m. when the sun is still fucking bright, where it&#39;s like really, really, really young kids who just got off of school, which I hate because to me, Halloween always starts at dusk. But um, and then there&#39;s a second wave once it&#39;s dark, where like teenagers, bigger families start to come or whatever. Um, I I I fucking love it. But I I feel like I figured out a Halloween hack as the host, right? Like, because that&#39;s the one thing I hate is that I want to go out trick-or-treating with my kids, but I want to answer the door to trick-or-treaters too, because I always scare kids. I will not just give them candy. They have to fucking earn it. So I always open the door with a scary mask, I jump out at them, I have smoke, there&#39;s like a whole thing. But one trick I learned is don&#39;t buy the giant bags of like little baby candies. Yeah. Because A, that&#39;s not impressive, and B, that&#39;s all the kids are getting. Here&#39;s what you do you go to Costco and you buy the big bulk things of full size candy bars. Now you&#39;re I hear what you&#39;re saying, David. That&#39;s so expensive. That&#39;s so great crazy. It actually equals out to be cheaper because you give them each person gets one bar. Now, to them, it&#39;s super fucking impressive. I get a giant fucking MMs bag. Yeah. Yes, you do, but that bag only cost me 40 cents. But if I&#39;d given you a giant handful of these little candies, it cost me more. So it&#39;s more impressive to the kids. And it&#39;s uh it&#39;s uh it&#39;s home economics, really. Gavin: 10:35 They&#39;re they&#39;re like, we always want to go back to that house where that creepy old man who looks 57, even though we&#39;re pretty sure he&#39;s only 42, and he scares the shit out of us. David: 10:44 But when was that man born? That&#39;s the question on the street. We want to know when that man was born. Um, this year I took um a viral TikTok trend, which was I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ve seen it, it was like the skeletons throwing up poison into like a big barrel. Have you seen this? Like, I&#39;ll take your word for it. Gavin: 10:58 Nope. Anyway, so glad you&#39;re here to translate what the kids are doing. David: 11:02 So basically, I did a version of that where like you get like basically a water pump and you snake it up through the skeleton&#39;s mouth, and then it like is vomiting, and then you put like phosphorescent liquid in it so you can hit it with UV light and it looks really cool, and it&#39;s poison. So I did a version of that where I have a skeleton party, like a skeleton frat party. So I have a one skeleton doing a keg stand upside down. I have all these like things, and he&#39;s drinking poison, he&#39;s doing a keg stand, and then I have another skeleton face down in a toilet throwing up, and I have like the poison coming on. It&#39;s all black light, it&#39;s all got moving stuff. So I&#39;ll start. Gavin: 11:35 Set up. Uh, we we definitely need to be able to see that on our socials. David: 11:38 That&#39;ll go viral. Yeah, I&#39;ll post it during um this week when the episode releases. So anyway, happy Halloween, everyone. I fucking love Halloween so much. And um go trick-or-treating and get some uh razors in the candy like we used to be afraid of in the 90s. SPEAKER_03: 11:53 Let&#39;s move on to our top three list. David: 11:56 Gate three arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Gotta love that. Those dulcet tones. Yeah. Do you think that&#39;s a you think that&#39;s gonna be Grammy nominated? Your little thing? Gavin: 12:07 No? Uh, I think it&#39;s ineligible because it&#39;s um such a high level of musicality. And it&#39;s too short. It&#39;s too short. You can&#39;t do Grammys for that. Anyway, uh, moving on from you uh razzing me. What is this week&#39;s top three list? David: 12:20 Um, this week um is top three baby products that are garbage. And you reminded me when we started this recording that um we may have done this before. And guess what? That&#39;s all right. Everyone needs to get the fuck over it because we don&#39;t get paid for this. Gavin: 12:32 So we&#39;re just a lot of but there&#39;s a lot of garbage out there too. David: 12:36 And this is episode 36. So um we we forget sometimes, and we&#39;re old. Well, Gavin&#39;s old. I&#39;m maybe 42, who knows? Um, so top three baby products that are garbage. Now, there&#39;s two ways we could have gone with this that they are just don&#39;t work right or you don&#39;t need, and I kind of have a mixture of two. So, number three for me, baby shoes. Nonsense. Stop it. Stop it. Nonsense. Babies will never walk um unless they&#39;re Jesus. They might walk on water and then just get them some Crocs. Baby shoes are just for decoration, and you don&#39;t have time to decorate your child. Yes. Gavin: 13:12 So please, baby shoes. Head headed into parenting. You think it&#39;s gonna be all about the decoration, but let&#39;s face it, you just need a onesie and go. So yeah, good. Absolutely. David: 13:21 Um, uh, number two for me, boogie wipes. Have you seen these? They&#39;re like little wet wipes that say boogie wipes, so you can wipe your child&#39;s nose. Nonsense. That&#39;s a napkin. I don&#39;t know why you&#39;re rebranding this as a special thing I need. That is literally a wet wipe. All you need is a wet wipe, or what I do, lift up their own shirt and wipe their fucking noses. Um, and number one, and now this was submitted to me by one of our listeners, aka our first surrogate, aka my sister-in-law, aka one of my favorite listeners, Erin, baby cologne. Did you know this existed? Oh, geez. I had no idea. When she texted me that, I thought that this is a joke, right? She sent me an Amazon link. Baby Cologne. Everyone out there who&#39;s buying baby cologne, walk into traffic. Um, that&#39;s my that&#39;s my top three list. What about you? Gavin: 14:14 All right, so for me, number three is honestly, toys of any kind. Oh, yeah. I mean, it&#39;s just it just takes up space. You think that you&#39;re going to use some kind of toy with your kids? No, no, they are just houseplants for the first nine months. And don&#39;t get them toys until, frankly, they&#39;re about maybe two. Uh, because even at one, they just want to like play with the you know, the Tupperware in the cabinet. So honestly, toys...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s Halloween week, and David isn&apos;t quite sure how old he is. We talk about the top 3 baby items that are complete garbage, and are joined by TikTok funny man Deric Cahill aka BoldFam who talks to us about his social media and how he takes no shit from anyone, why the hell he started a chocolate business, and what getting a DUI at 23 did to his point of view on parenting. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;ll get a Spotify list out of this. A sponsify a Spotify sponsorship, in fact. A Sponsify. That&#39;s, I think, what my brain was trying to put together. What is my problem? There&#39;s a long list and it&#39;s undiagnosed. It&#39;s so many. I mean, I&#39;m a communicator. I know how to speak. I can give fucking speeches. And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_03: 0:22 Shut up. Got you, bitch. Got you. David: 0:40 So Gaben, this weekend I was in Florida. My mom is moving, so I went down with my son, and we basically helping her pack and go through old boxes forever. And one of the things I was going through was like all of my old stuff that my mom&#39;s kept, you know, baby shoes and all the things that parents keep, right? Gavin: 0:56 That&#39;s quite a journey to do something like that. David: 0:58 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And one of the things I came across was one of those like baby books that you like fill out the questions. It&#39;ll be like, my first thought was blah, blah, blah, blah. And like most baby books, it was like halfway filled out because they had to raise a fucking screaming child. And um I was just for context for the situation. I am I was born in 1979, October 23rd, which um uh was two days ago. So happy birthday to me. Happy belated birthday. Yep, 1979. And um, so I opened this baby book and it was like, you know, it&#39;s got all the things. It&#39;s like, you know, here&#39;s how much he weighed when he was born, and blah, blah, blah. And I&#39;m looking at it and I look at the date, and it says, born October 23rd, 1980. Oh and I just stopped. I froze and I went, Mom? She&#39;s like, what? I was like, when was I born? She goes, 1979. I said, why does this say 1980? And she&#39;s like, Oh, your dad must have written it wrong. Well, then I find a card. You know, the card that they would slip in the box that the baby sleep in that says, like, welcome, it&#39;s a boy, you know, David One. Yes. October 23rd, 1980. I said, Mom, am I not the right age that I think I&#39;m lying about my age? Also, am I a year younger? Oh my god. Why do I look like shit? SPEAKER_03: 2:16 Why do I look older three when I&#39;m 42? David: 2:20 She swears, now, all my IDs, my birth certificate, everything else in my life says 1979. Including the birth certificate. You actually verified that. Correct. Everything else says 19, or the these two things say 1980. So I just had this like thing, I was like, am I not? It&#39;s like somebody telling you, oh yeah, you were this isn&#39;t your dad. Your real dad is blah blah blah. So it totally shook me. Yeah, it totally shook me to the core, which is I quite. Gavin: 2:42 Wait a minute, but you you haven&#39;t really resolved this question though. David: 2:47 My mom swears, she&#39;s like, your dad must have written it wrong. Maybe the nurse wrote it wrong too, but like your birth certificate, I swear it was 1979. And you know, so who knows, Gavin? I just may be devastatingly young for this haggard looking face. Gavin: 3:01 But I was, uh yeah, I mean, insert all the jokes there. You know, I have a friend whose parents, I guess, against her will, sort of redshirted her from the time she was born because she was born like after our school cutoff, right? So for her entire life until she graduated from high school, she didn&#39;t know what her real birthday was. Her parents lied to her for 18 years. That&#39;s so about being born, I don&#39;t know, September 17th instead of uh November 3rd. Something I mean, it was an arbitrary just few weeks. It wasn&#39;t years off, it was just weeks off. ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s Halloween week, and David isn&apos;t quite sure how old he is. We talk about the top 3 baby items that are complete garbage, and are joined by TikTok funny man Deric Cahill aka BoldFam who talks to us about his social media and how he takes no shit from anyone, why the hell he started a chocolate business, and what getting a DUI at 23 did to his point of view on parenting. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;ll get a Spotify list out of this. A sponsify a Spotify sponsorship, in fact. A Sponsify. That&#39;s, I think, what my brain was trying to put together. What is my problem? There&#39;s a long list and it&#39;s undiagnosed. It&#39;s so many. I mean, I&#39;m a communicator. I know how to speak. I can give fucking speeches. And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_03: 0:22 Shut up. Got you, bitch. Got you. David: 0:40 So Gaben, this weekend I was in Florida. My mom is moving, so I went down with my son, and we basically helping her pack and go through old boxes forever. And one ]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jaimie-kelton-host-of-the-gay-family-podcast/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 18 Oct 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13722812</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David pushes his kid away, Gavin complains about the epidemic of gift giving, we discuss the top 3 things we hope our kids fail at, and are joined by fellow gay and fellow podcaster Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast, and David and Gavin try and class it up a little. (We don&apos;t.) 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So this week the the top so this week the list is take a shot of coffee and this is Gage React. Gavin: 0:30 So recently I was adulting. Adulting hard. I went to a conference that was unrelated to parenting and unrelated unrelated to being gay, frankly, although it was arts advocacy. So, you know. That&#39;s pretty gay. Gay adjacent. Actually, I would say that the percentage of breeders to non-breeders was actually pretty balanced. But anyway, we might have to change that. David: 0:54 We might have to change our slur for straight people because not a lot of straight people are not having kids anymore. They&#39;re not interested. So we got to figure out another way to disparage an entire community of people. Work on that, okay? Gavin: 1:06 No offense, straits. Anyway, so I was at a dinner, and um, of course, uh, we were we were all kind of like trying not to talk about work, and then of course, the people who are parents find each other and start talking about parenting complaining about their children, yeah. And then the rest of the table is like, oh god, parents talking about their kids, right? So anyway, my daughter was having a birthday coming up soon, and I was talking about how um our birthday party was to go to the mall to let the girls walk around like preteens, with the and the request was to have my cell phone and my Starbucks in hand. And um, and they were looking like straight out of the poster of mean girls. I&#39;ll come back to the birthday party another time, frankly. But it was highly consumerist and capitalist. Your favorite. Anyway, my my two favorite things being the anti-capitalist that I sometimes am. So anyway, point being, I&#39;m sitting there talking to this woman who said, you know what, in our neighborhood, she had a seven-year-old, in our um community, uh, we&#39;ve all um uh agreed not to give gifts at birthday parties. And I&#39;m like, uh excuse me? She said, Yeah, um, we just we don&#39;t. We we have a book exchange instead at birthday parties. I&#39;m like, uh what utopian communist commune in the middle of California are you living in? She&#39;s like, Well, I mean, outside of Boston. I&#39;m like, okay, that right, that fits. And she said, I&#39;m like, did you start this? She said, No, it&#39;s been going on for years. We just don&#39;t do gifts. I&#39;m like, that I I I I I wish I had thought about this and I wish I were part of this community, that&#39;s for sure. I&#39;m amazed by it. Like, do you think you could get away with that? David: 2:41 I tr we tried it with our son&#39;s second birthday. We said with the invites when they said when they conferred, we said, great, no gifts are allowed. Please just bring yourself about 50% of the people brought gifts, and it is suffocating. Yeah. Gavin: 2:54 But uh but the it it does feel like the expectations are there. Like the kids grow up knowing that they get gifts for their birthday, right? I mean, but we have talked about in the past that like it would be so much better if everybody just gave me$15 and then we had enough money to buy a swing set or something. Sure. Anyway, so then this woman went on to make me feel like an asshole, a consumerist capitalist pig, when she&#39;s like, Well, we um set up for my children, they&#39;re allowed to ask for four things something they need, something they want, something to read, and something that they can wear. And I&#39;m like, if you saw my kids my kids&#39; birthday list, where she&#39;s like as the list unrolls and hits the ground and rolls across the kitchen floor, I mean damn, I went off the rails way too early. And I hope that somebody out there like you, David, and the the generations of your ilk of children can change this because it needs to change. David: 3:53 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m totally into it. So this morning I just had one of those. So I spent the weekend in Florida um with my son, and we had this just daddy-son trip, and it was so fun. And we went to it was so fun. It was I I I was a little nervous. I was like, he&#39;s gonna be an asshole in the plane, it&#39;s just me. He was fucking awesome, not to be fair. He had an iPad one time. But it was just great. We went and did all these really boring adult things. My mom was moving, and so we got to do a lot of different things, and he was awesome. Anyway, the long story short is whenever we have these weekends that are really fun, it was a four-day weekend, it was all it was just us, it was the best. That first day back at school, oh yeah, drop off is not cute. And I very much subscribe to because of my experience, that when your kid is having a hard drop-off, staying longer, more hugs, more cuddling just makes the problem worse. And it&#39;s better just to rip the band-aid off. You knew that. I know. So I&#39;m just saying, I&#39;m bringing it up because this morning I&#39;m dropping him off. We had this amazing four-day weekend, and I can feel it in the air. I can just sense it&#39;s gonna go bad. So we put him down and he&#39;s just like attached to my legs. And what I have to do, and it&#39;s just the worst feeling in the world, is I have to push him off of me and shut the door as I&#39;m pushing him back through the door as he&#39;s sobbing. Daddy, I want to be with you. Daddy, please don&#39;t leave me. Let me come home with you. And then he said, screaming through the door, Daddy, I miss you. And like, what a fucking psychopath. Because not a psychopath, a sociopath. No, he&#39;s a sociopath because he&#39;s fucking with my mind. Because that that&#39;s hard to leave. But that&#39;s there&#39;s no other way. Me staying and hugging him is not going to make him calmer. So I literally have to like peel him off of me and like underwear. Like you&#39;re you&#39;re pulling your feet out of underwear. Correct. And so that was a really that just never feels good at all. But um, yeah. And you know, two seconds later he was fine, right? Oh no, a hundred percent. But it just it doesn&#39;t feel good to like push your son by his face back through the door that you&#39;re trying to lock so you can leave and go to Starbucks instead of Razor Out. Gavin: 6:02 Listen, I have a an episode of Gatriarchs I need to go record, buddy. So and it&#39;s gonna pay for your college, so get the fuck off me. David: 6:09 Now we&#39;ve lost thousands of dollars on this thing. Um, anyway, uh, do you want to do your Oh yes, it is time for the top three list. Gavin: 6:19 Gatree arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Those dulcet tones, huh? So this week&#39;s top three list is the three things you hope your kid fails at. That&#39;s mean. But I mean, it&#39;s totally self-serving, I suppose. And this might unfortunately it has a funny title, but I think I&#39;m gonna be disgustingly sincere when I say number three is I hope my kid fails at being a dick. Just don&#39;t be a dick, right? Just like, can we just not be a dick? Right now, we have a lot of dickishness that&#39;s going on in the house, and I&#39;m like, can we just fail at this and move on? Number two, being popular. I want you to fail at being popular because nothing good comes from being the popular kid, you know? You need to suffer a little bit, right? Uh number one, basketball. Please just don&#39;t be good at basketball because I don&#39;t want to have to watch it. That&#39;s the sport that has traumatized me my entire life because everybody said, Oh, you&#39;re tall, so you must be good at basketball at a very young age. And I&#39;m like, at nine, I was like, fuck you. I&#39;m terrible at basketball, and now I hate it because you make me feel less than for being bad at basketball. David: 7:35 So man, being tall has been just a curse for you. I mean, it&#39;s just it&#39;s just been such a trauma in your life. So I hope my kids fail at basketball. What about you? What do you hope your kids fail at? We uh have a little bit of overlap because number three for me is being a bully. SPEAKER_02: 7:51 Uh okay. David: 7:52 Uh uh, which is kind of like being a dick because I think they need to try, but I need to see them fail and realize that that doesn&#39;t benefit you at all. Gavin: 8:00 Oh, in all of these cases, I want them to try and I hope they fail. David: 8:03 Yeah. Yeah. Um, number two, I want him to fail at something he really loves. And I bring that up because I very much wanted to be an actor. And when I went to college, I went to um a very well-known college for theater, and I auditioned for their program and I didn&#39;t get in twice. And the good thing about that, I mean, listen, it sucked, but the good thing about it was I kept going, and just because I kept going proved that I really, really, really wanted it. So if he fails at something and he doesn&#39;t go back to it, I&#39;m like, well, he didn&#39;t really like it. Yeah. So I think him failing at something he really loves. Um, and number one for me, I hope my kid fails at coming for me. Do you know what I mean? Coming for the king when he tries to outsmart me. That like what it was, like 13, 14, whatever like boys just want to like destroy their fathers. I want him to fail because I always want to be top dog. I have no interest in passing the torch to anybody. Never this is my house. I pay the bills, and until I&#39;m dead, then you can be the king. You can take my toxic masculinity out of my cold, dead, gay hand. Um, all right. So next week, let&#39;s go back to babies. Listen, I I have a 20-month-old, but I don&#39;t, that&#39;s not a baby anymore. I have no babies. We don&#39;t have babies anymore, but let&#39;s go back to babies. A lot of a lot of dads have babies, and let&#39;s go back to the top three baby products that are garbage. Gavin: 9:25 Oh, all right. Top three baby products that are garbage. I do you think it&#39;s helpful that I repeated that? David: 9:37 All right, our next guest is a mom. She&#39;s a dancer, a voice actor, and the host of our new favorite show, the Queer Family Podcast, which has a mission to normalize, elevate, and celebrate LGBTQ families. Now, it is basically if we were classy and eloquent and smart and thoughtful with like a little bit more lesbian than we have. And uh please, yeah, please welcome to our show, Gatriarch&#39;s Jamie Kelton. Welcome to the show. SPEAKER_03: 10:08 Welcome to the David and Gavin. I&#39;m so happy to be here. And I love that you you keep saying that my show is classy, yet you just had a whole monologue prepared about my show. I didn&#39;t do that for yours. The episode. That&#39;s true. Gavin: 10:23 We plug our show right at the top. So we do want to say it once again, over and over and over again. Queer Family Podcast. Jamie&#39;s like, you&#39;re like um the the uh you&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re what is it? David: 10:33 Oh madam. The madam of the gay podcast. SPEAKER_03: 10:37 I like that because I was thinking like grandma for a second, but you know, I was avoiding. David: 10:42 You can be a guilf. You know, I didn&#39;t want to make you feel old, but you will be a guilf, no doubt. I don&#39;t know what that means. SPEAKER_03: 10:48 What is that? David: 10:49 Grandma, I&#39;d like to fuck. SPEAKER_03: 10:51 Oh yeah. David: 10:52 I know just a reminder. You&#39;re on our show now where we talk disgusting. SPEAKER_03: 10:56 I know Dilf because I just listened to that episode. So I know what that means. Wasn&#39;t she fascinating? I don&#39;t well, I didn&#39;t get to her. I just listened to your intro, to be completely honest. I haven&#39;t gotten to her yet. Um, because I&#39;m really into your I like your intros, so that&#39;s fun. I like hearing about the parenting and the crazy. Gavin: 11:12 Well, we can&#39;t wait to get corporate sponsorship from Disney, thanks to Dilfs of Disneyland. But um get on it. Yeah, but the GIF uh factor, I mean, uh hey, we all aspire to be a guil at some point. SPEAKER_03: 11:24 So yeah, come on now. But I&#39;m not let&#39;s be clear. I just want to be 100% clear with your audience. I am not a grandma, not that old. Like, am I sure? David: 11:32 She&#39;s young and beautiful. She&#39;s young and she&#39;s the youngest of the three of us, to be honest. Gavin: 11:36 No, I&#39;m not sure. Yeah, I&#39;m sure you are. But we&#39;re also super ageist here. And by we, I mean David, who constantly gives me shit for my age, which is not that old. David: 11:45 He&#39;s literally four years older than me, but I talk about him growing up in the 1800s all the time. And and for for transparency for those of you listening, we literally just now finished recording our interview for her show, and we were trying to be buttoned up, but I could just see in Jamie&#39;s face as we were recording, she was so desperate to be on our show where she could take her bra off and just let it hang out. SPEAKER_03: 12:07 But it&#39;s so funny because it&#39;s not buttoned up over there, um, nor is it classy. So I appreciate you saying that, but um, it&#39;s pretty much it&#39;s pretty much flying by the team of our pants, just to uplift and highlight our beautiful, effed up families. Like we&#39;re all ruining our kids. We are all doing that, just not for the gay reason, and that&#39;s the point. David: 12:27 Yeah, it&#39;s it all in our own special, special ways. So um, for those of you who are listening who don&#39;t know, she you host a podcast called the Queer Family Podcast, which we were talking about was at the time, six years ago when you started it, was the first gay family kind of podcast that existed. And now, in in a good way, there are more, right? There&#39;s us, there&#39;s you guys, which I honestly think are the top ones. The other ones are fine or great, but they don&#39;t, they&#39;re not consistent, right? They&#39;re not posting every week. And you see the kind of shell remnants of people who maybe tried to do one and then they just stopped posting or whatever. Yeah, to try this on the side of the highway. SPEAKER_03: 13:05 Yeah. When we first started, there were a couple others who had cute names and stuff. And I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh. But they just really quickly fizzled out because it is a lot of work. It really is. David: 13:14 It is so much work. Booking a guest every week. I know your show do you have guests every week. You have to prepare stuff. There&#39;s money hosting. Anyway, who cares about that? We&#39;re to have you on our show. And you are a mom and a lesbian. So tell us everything. So tell us how you became not a lesbian. We know how you became a lesbian. Um that might be a good story too. SPEAKER_03: 13:34 That&#39;s true. David: 13:35 How did you become a mom? SPEAKER_03: 13:37 Oh, God. Well, I always wanted to be a mom. I did. And um being gay never like deterred me from that. Yeah, I always knew I would be a mom, figure it out somehow. Um and when I met my wife, like it was supposed to, so I had been in this like long distance, seven-year relationship. Not long distance, long term. Why did I say long distance? Long term, seven-year-old emotionally distant. David: 14:03 Yeah. Long term. SPEAKER_03: 14:05 We were actually great. She was a stage manager. We were like, you know, we toured together. Um, you know, that old story. Gavin: 14:11 Yeah, I was gonna say this is uh I see cliches coming out all over the place. And you were on the road and you bought a Subaru. SPEAKER_03: 14:17 Yeah, it was a the first two, it was a bus and truck tour, and we drove the set van. Oh yeah, we we were we were like lesbian in it. Uh and we were like secret. Yeah, so I was with her, Sarah, for um uh seven years,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David pushes his kid away, Gavin complains about the epidemic of gift giving, we discuss the top 3 things we hope our kids fail at, and are joined by fellow gay and fellow podcaster Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast, and David and ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David pushes his kid away, Gavin complains about the epidemic of gift giving, we discuss the top 3 things we hope our kids fail at, and are joined by fellow gay and fellow podcaster Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast, and David and Gavin try and class it up a little. (We don&apos;t.) 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So this week the the top so this week the list is take a shot of coffee and this is Gage React. Gavin: 0:30 So recently I was adulting. Adulting hard. I went to a conference that was unrelated to parenting and unrelated unrelated to being gay, frankly, although it was arts advocacy. So, you know. That&#39;s pretty gay. Gay adjacent. Actually, I would say that the percentage of breeders to non-breeders was actually pretty balanced. But anyway, we might have to change that. David: 0:54 We might have to change our slur for straight people because not a lot of straight people are not having kids anymore. They&#39;re not interested. So we got to figure out another way to disparage an entire community of people. Work on that, okay? Gavin: 1:06 No offense, straits. Anyway, so I was at a dinner, and um, of course, uh, we were we were all kind of like trying not to talk about work, and then of course, the people who are parents find each other and start talking about parenting complaining about their children, yeah. And then the rest of the table is like, oh god, parents talking about their kids, right? So anyway, my daughter was having a birthday coming up soon, and I was talking about how um our birthday party was to go to the mall to let the girls walk around like preteens, with the and the request was to have my cell phone and my Starbucks in hand. And um, and they were looking like straight out of the poster of mean girls. I&#39;ll come back to the birthday party another time, frankly. But it was highly consumerist and capitalist. Your favorite. Anyway, my my two favorite things being the anti-capitalist that I sometimes am. So anyway, point being, I&#39;m sitting there talking to this woman who said, you know what, in our neighborhood, she had a seven-year-old, in our um community, uh, we&#39;ve all um uh agreed not to give gifts at birthday parties. And I&#39;m like, uh excuse me? She said, Yeah, um, we just we don&#39;t. We we have a book exchange instead at birthday parties. I&#39;m like, uh what utopian communist commune in the middle of California are you living in? She&#39;s like, Well, I mean, outside of Boston. I&#39;m like, okay, that right, that fits. And she said, I&#39;m like, did you start this? She said, No, it&#39;s been going on for years. We just don&#39;t do gifts. I&#39;m like, that I I I I I wish I had thought about this and I wish I were part of this community, that&#39;s for sure. I&#39;m amazed by it. Like, do you think you could get away with that? David: 2:41 I tr we tried it with our son&#39;s second birthday. We said with the invites when they said when they conferred, we said, great, no gifts are allowed. Please just bring yourself about 50% of the people brought gifts, and it is suffocating. Yeah. Gavin: 2:54 But uh but the it it does feel like the expectations are there. Like the kids grow up knowing that they get gifts for their birthday, right? I mean, but we have talked about in the past that like it would be so much better if everybody just gave me$15 and then we had enough money to buy a swing set or something. Sure. Anyway, so then this woman went on to make me feel like an asshole, a consumerist capitalist pig, when she&#39;s like, Well, we um set up for my children, they&#39;re allowed to ask for four things something they need, something they want, something to read, and something that they can wear. And I&#39;m like, if you saw my kids my kids&#39; birthday list, where she&#39;s like as the list unrolls and hits the ground and rolls across the kitchen floor, I mean damn, I went off the rails way too early. And I hope that somebody out there like you, David, and the the generations of your ilk of children can change this because it needs to change. David: 3:53 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m totally into it. So this morning I just had one of those. So I spent the weekend in Florida um with my son, and we had this just daddy-son trip, and it was so fun. And we went to it was so fun. It was I I I was a little nervous. I was like, he&#39;s gonna be an asshole in the plane, it&#39;s just me. He was fucking awesome, not to be fair. He had an iPad one time. But it was just great. We went and did all these really boring adult things. My mom was moving, and so we got to do a lot of different things, and he was awesome. Anyway, the long story short is whenever we have these weekends that are really fun, it was a four-day weekend, it was all it was just us, it was the best. That first day back at school, oh yeah, drop off is not cute. And I very much subscribe to because of my experience, that when your kid is having a hard drop-off, staying longer, more hugs, more cuddling just makes the problem worse. And it&#39;s better just to rip the band-aid off. You knew that. I know. So I&#39;m just saying, I&#39;m bringing it up because this morning I&#39;m dropping him off. We had this amazing four-day weekend, and I can feel it in the air. I can just sense it&#39;s gonna go bad. So we put him down and he&#39;s just like attached to my legs. And what I have to do, and it&#39;s just the worst feeling in the world, is I have to push him off of me and shut the door as I&#39;m pushing him back through the door as he&#39;s sobbing. Daddy, I want to be with you. Daddy, please don&#39;t leave me. Let me come home with you. And then he said, screaming through the door, Daddy, I miss you. And like, what a fucking psychopath. Because not a psychopath, a sociopath. No, he&#39;s a sociopath because he&#39;s fucking with my mind. Because that that&#39;s hard to leave. But that&#39;s there&#39;s no other way. Me staying and hugging him is not going to make him calmer. So I literally have to like peel him off of me and like underwear. Like you&#39;re you&#39;re pulling your feet out of underwear. Correct. And so that was a really that just never feels good at all. But um, yeah. And you know, two seconds later he was fine, right? Oh no, a hundred percent. But it just it doesn&#39;t feel good to like push your son by his face back through the door that you&#39;re trying to lock so you can leave and go to Starbucks instead of Razor Out. Gavin: 6:02 Listen, I have a an episode of Gatriarchs I need to go record, buddy. So and it&#39;s gonna pay for your college, so get the fuck off me. David: 6:09 Now we&#39;ve lost thousands of dollars on this thing. Um, anyway, uh, do you want to do your Oh yes, it is time for the top three list. Gavin: 6:19 Gatree arcs, top three list, three, two, one. Those dulcet tones, huh? So this week&#39;s top three list is the three things you hope your kid fails at. That&#39;s mean. But I mean, it&#39;s totally self-serving, I suppose. And this might unfortunately it has a funny title, but I think I&#39;m gonna be disgustingly sincere when I say number three is I hope my kid fails at being a dick. Just don&#39;t be a dick, right? Just like, can we just not be a dick? Right now, we have a lot of dickishness that&#39;s going on in the house, and I&#39;m like, can we just fail at this and move on? Number two, being popular. I want you to fail at being popular because nothing good comes from being the popular kid, you know? You need to suffer a little bit, right? Uh number one, basketball. Please just don&#39;t be good at basketball because I don&#39;t want to have to watch it. That&#39;s the sport that has traumatized me my entire life because everybody said, Oh, you&#39;re tall, so you must be good at basketball at a very young age. And I&#39;m like, at nine, I was like, fuck you. I&#39;m terrible at basketball, and now I hate it because you make me feel less than for being bad at basketball. David: 7:35 So man, being tall has been just a curse for you. I mean, it&#39;s just it&#39;s just been such a trauma in your life. So I hope my kids fail at basketball. What about you? What do you hope your kids fail at? We uh have a little bit of overlap because number three for me is being a bully. SPEAKER_02: 7:51 Uh okay. David: 7:52 Uh uh, which is kind of like being a dick because I think they need to try, but I need to see them fail and realize that that doesn&#39;t benefit you at all. Gavin: 8:00 Oh, in all of these cases, I want them to try and I hope they fail. David: 8:03 Yeah. Yeah. Um, number two, I want him to fail at something he really loves. And I bring that up because I very much wanted to be an actor. And when I went to college, I went to um a very well-known college for theater, and I auditioned for their program and I didn&#39;t get in twice. And the good thing about that, I mean, listen, it sucked, but the good thing about it was I kept going, and just because I kept going proved that I really, really, really wanted it. So if he fails at something and he doesn&#39;t go back to it, I&#39;m like, well, he didn&#39;t really like it. Yeah. So I think him failing at something he really loves. Um, and number one for me, I hope my kid fails at coming for me. Do you know what I mean? Coming for the king when he tries to outsmart me. That like what it was, like 13, 14, whatever like boys just want to like destroy their fathers. I want him to fail because I always want to be top dog. I have no interest in passing the torch to anybody. Never this is my house. I pay the bills, and until I&#39;m dead, then you can be the king. You can take my toxic masculinity out of my cold, dead, gay hand. Um, all right. So next week, let&#39;s go back to babies. Listen, I I have a 20-month-old, but I don&#39;t, that&#39;s not a baby anymore. I have no babies. We don&#39;t have babies anymore, but let&#39;s go back to babies. A lot of a lot of dads have babies, and let&#39;s go back to the top three baby products that are garbage. Gavin: 9:25 Oh, all right. Top three baby products that are garbage. I do you think it&#39;s helpful that I repeated that? David: 9:37 All right, our next guest is a mom. She&#39;s a dancer, a voice actor, and the host of our new favorite show, the Queer Family Podcast, which has a mission to normalize, elevate, and celebrate LGBTQ families. Now, it is basically if we were classy and eloquent and smart and thoughtful with like a little bit more lesbian than we have. And uh please, yeah, please welcome to our show, Gatriarch&#39;s Jamie Kelton. Welcome to the show. SPEAKER_03: 10:08 Welcome to the David and Gavin. I&#39;m so happy to be here. And I love that you you keep saying that my show is classy, yet you just had a whole monologue prepared about my show. I didn&#39;t do that for yours. The episode. That&#39;s true. Gavin: 10:23 We plug our show right at the top. So we do want to say it once again, over and over and over again. Queer Family Podcast. Jamie&#39;s like, you&#39;re like um the the uh you&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re what is it? David: 10:33 Oh madam. The madam of the gay podcast. SPEAKER_03: 10:37 I like that because I was thinking like grandma for a second, but you know, I was avoiding. David: 10:42 You can be a guilf. You know, I didn&#39;t want to make you feel old, but you will be a guilf, no doubt. I don&#39;t know what that means. SPEAKER_03: 10:48 What is that? David: 10:49 Grandma, I&#39;d like to fuck. SPEAKER_03: 10:51 Oh yeah. David: 10:52 I know just a reminder. You&#39;re on our show now where we talk disgusting. SPEAKER_03: 10:56 I know Dilf because I just listened to that episode. So I know what that means. Wasn&#39;t she fascinating? I don&#39;t well, I didn&#39;t get to her. I just listened to your intro, to be completely honest. I haven&#39;t gotten to her yet. Um, because I&#39;m really into your I like your intros, so that&#39;s fun. I like hearing about the parenting and the crazy. Gavin: 11:12 Well, we can&#39;t wait to get corporate sponsorship from Disney, thanks to Dilfs of Disneyland. But um get on it. Yeah, but the GIF uh factor, I mean, uh hey, we all aspire to be a guil at some point. SPEAKER_03: 11:24 So yeah, come on now. But I&#39;m not let&#39;s be clear. I just want to be 100% clear with your audience. I am not a grandma, not that old. Like, am I sure? David: 11:32 She&#39;s young and beautiful. She&#39;s young and she&#39;s the youngest of the three of us, to be honest. Gavin: 11:36 No, I&#39;m not sure. Yeah, I&#39;m sure you are. But we&#39;re also super ageist here. And by we, I mean David, who constantly gives me shit for my age, which is not that old. David: 11:45 He&#39;s literally four years older than me, but I talk about him growing up in the 1800s all the time. And and for for transparency for those of you listening, we literally just now finished recording our interview for her show, and we were trying to be buttoned up, but I could just see in Jamie&#39;s face as we were recording, she was so desperate to be on our show where she could take her bra off and just let it hang out. SPEAKER_03: 12:07 But it&#39;s so funny because it&#39;s not buttoned up over there, um, nor is it classy. So I appreciate you saying that, but um, it&#39;s pretty much it&#39;s pretty much flying by the team of our pants, just to uplift and highlight our beautiful, effed up families. Like we&#39;re all ruining our kids. We are all doing that, just not for the gay reason, and that&#39;s the point. David: 12:27 Yeah, it&#39;s it all in our own special, special ways. So um, for those of you who are listening who don&#39;t know, she you host a podcast called the Queer Family Podcast, which we were talking about was at the time, six years ago when you started it, was the first gay family kind of podcast that existed. And now, in in a good way, there are more, right? There&#39;s us, there&#39;s you guys, which I honestly think are the top ones. The other ones are fine or great, but they don&#39;t, they&#39;re not consistent, right? They&#39;re not posting every week. And you see the kind of shell remnants of people who maybe tried to do one and then they just stopped posting or whatever. Yeah, to try this on the side of the highway. SPEAKER_03: 13:05 Yeah. When we first started, there were a couple others who had cute names and stuff. And I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh. But they just really quickly fizzled out because it is a lot of work. It really is. David: 13:14 It is so much work. Booking a guest every week. I know your show do you have guests every week. You have to prepare stuff. There&#39;s money hosting. Anyway, who cares about that? We&#39;re to have you on our show. And you are a mom and a lesbian. So tell us everything. So tell us how you became not a lesbian. We know how you became a lesbian. Um that might be a good story too. SPEAKER_03: 13:34 That&#39;s true. David: 13:35 How did you become a mom? SPEAKER_03: 13:37 Oh, God. Well, I always wanted to be a mom. I did. And um being gay never like deterred me from that. Yeah, I always knew I would be a mom, figure it out somehow. Um and when I met my wife, like it was supposed to, so I had been in this like long distance, seven-year relationship. Not long distance, long term. Why did I say long distance? Long term, seven-year-old emotionally distant. David: 14:03 Yeah. Long term. SPEAKER_03: 14:05 We were actually great. She was a stage manager. We were like, you know, we toured together. Um, you know, that old story. Gavin: 14:11 Yeah, I was gonna say this is uh I see cliches coming out all over the place. And you were on the road and you bought a Subaru. SPEAKER_03: 14:17 Yeah, it was a the first two, it was a bus and truck tour, and we drove the set van. Oh yeah, we we were we were like lesbian in it. Uh and we were like secret. Yeah, so I was with her, Sarah, for um uh seven years,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David pushes his kid away, Gavin complains about the epidemic of gift giving, we discuss the top 3 things we hope our kids fail at, and are joined by fellow gay and fellow podcaster Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast, and David and Gavin try and class it up a little. (We don&apos;t.) 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So this week the the top so this week the list is take a shot of coffee and this is Gage React. Gavin: 0:30 So recently I was adulting. Adulting hard. I went to a conference that was unrelated to parenting and unrelated unrelated to being gay, frankly, although it was arts advocacy. So, you know. That&#39;s pretty gay. Gay adjacent. Actually, I would say that the percentage of breeders to non-breeders was actually pretty balanced. But anyway, we might have to change that. David: 0:54 We might have to change our slur for straight people because not a lot of straight people are not having kids anymore. They&#39;re not interested. So we got to figure out another way to disparage an entire community of people. Work on that, okay? Gavin: 1:06 No offense, straits. Anyway, so I was at a dinner, and um, of course, uh, we were we were all kind of like trying not to talk about work, and then of course, the people who are parents find each other and start talking about parenting complaining about their children, yeah. And then the rest of the table is like, oh god, parents talking about their kids, right? So anyway, my daughter was having a birthday coming up soon, and I was talking about how um our birthday party was to go to the mall to let the girls walk around like preteens, with the and the request was to have my cell phone and my Starbucks in hand. And um, and they were looking like straight out of the poster of mean girls. I&#39;ll come back to the birthday party another time, frankly. But it was highly consumerist and capitalist. Your favorite. Anyway, my my two favorite things being the anti-capitalist that I sometimes am. So anyway, point being, I&#39;m sitting there talking to this woman who said, you know what, in our neighborhood, she had a seven-year-old, in our um community, uh, we&#39;ve all um uh agreed not to give gifts at birthday parties. And I&#39;m like, uh excuse me? She said, Yeah, um, we just we don&#39;t. We we have a book exchange instead at birthday parties. I&#39;m like, uh what utopian communist commune in the middle of California are you living in? She&#39;s like, Well, I mean, outside of Boston. I&#39;m like, okay, that right, that fits. And she said, I&#39;m like, did you start this? She said, No, it&#39;s been going on for years. We just don&#39;t do gifts. I&#39;m like, that I I I I I wish I had thought about this and I wish I were part of this community, that&#39;s for sure. I&#39;m amazed by it. Like, do you think you could get away with that? David: 2:41 I tr we tried it with our son&#39;s second birthday. We said with the invites when they said when they conferred, we said, great, no gifts are allowed. Please just bring yourself about 50% of the people brought gifts, and it is suffocating. Yeah. Gavin: 2:54 But uh but the it it does feel like the expectations are there. Like the kids grow up knowing that they get gifts for their birthday, right? I mean, but we have talked about in the past that like it would be so much better if everybody just gave me$15 and then we had enough money to buy a swing set or something. Sure. Anyway, so then this woman went on to make me feel like an asshole, a consumerist capitalist pig, when she&#39;s like, Well, we um set up for my children, they&#39;re allowed to ask for four things something they need, something they want, something to read, and something that they can wear. And I&#39;m like, if you saw my kids my kids&#39; birthday list, where she&#39;s like as the list unrolls and hits the ground and rolls across the kitchen floor, I mean damn, I went off the rails way too early. And I hope that somebody out there like you, David]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David pushes his kid away, Gavin complains about the epidemic of gift giving, we discuss the top 3 things we hope our kids fail at, and are joined by fellow gay and fellow podcaster Jaimie Kelton, host of the Gay Family Podcast, and David and Gavin try and class it up a little. (We don&apos;t.) 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So this week the the top so this week the list is take a shot of coffee and this is Gage React. Gavin: 0:30 So recently I was adulting. Adulting hard. I went to a conference that was unrelated to parenting and unrelated unrelated to being gay, frankly, although it was arts advocacy. So, you know. That&#39;s pretty gay. Gay adjacent. Actually, I would say that the percentage of breeders to non-breeders was actually pretty balanced. But anyway, we might have to change that. David: 0:54 We might have to change our slur for straight people because not a lot of straight people are not having kids anymore. They&#39;re not interested. So we got to figure out]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-anal-surgeon-dr-evan-goldstein/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 11 Oct 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about how kids can be really ugly mirrors, Gavin talks about Taylor Swift AGAIN, and somehow we got lucky and tricked sexual health and wellness expert  Dr. Evan Goldstein to join us to talk all things parenting and all things ass, David&apos;s two favorite things.  📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 The Queer Family Booker. Well, hello there. My name is Jamie, and I am the host of the Queer Family Podcast. The show all about family, both gay, as we like to say. The point of the show is and always has been to highlight LGBTQIA plus families, letting the whole world know that despite the fact that we work very hard to create our extremely intentional families, we&#39;re just like every other parent out there trying not to yell at our kids when they still haven&#39;t put their shoes on and we are already 25 minutes late for school. The struggle is real, am I right? I go in-depth with weekly LGBTQIA plus folks and some allies on how they built their families and how they show up in a world that wasn&#39;t necessarily designed for them. We laugh a lot, we cry a little, we learn a lot, and through our stories, we illustrate the undeniable fact that love is in fact love, and love makes a family. I hope you tune in, and if you like what you hear, you subscribe, rate, and review wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure you&#39;re following us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube where you&#39;re gonna find some video episodes as well. Tune in. Happy listening. I&#39;ll see you soon. SPEAKER_01: 1:26 Lovers, lovers, love on the queer family podcast. Love is love. David: 1:33 What&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Gavin: 1:34 Uh it&#39;s funny that you ask me that right now because I&#39;m looking at my list realizing that I didn&#39;t uh think of one. So what we should do next week is something gayer. Top three reasons I should fire Gavin from the podcast. I mean, top three. How how will you be able to narrow it down? And this is Gatrich. So the other night, my daughter says to me, Daddy, what&#39;s your favorite football team? And I&#39;m like, What? David: 2:13 You&#39;re like the Boston Red Sox. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 2:15 So I&#39;m like, well, I mean, I grew up in Denver, so you know, I&#39;ll always say the Denver Broncos. And she goes, My favorite team is Kansas City. And I&#39;m like, What? You&#39;ve never had an opinion about sports ever in your entire life, except your soccer team, and who sucks on it and who doesn&#39;t. But so suddenly I&#39;m like, Oh, you like Kansas City, huh? And she goes, uh-huh. Because Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelsey. Wait, what? Yeah. Now I didn&#39;t know. I know we are way behind because we are obviously we have uh released this on October 11th, but um, and today is obviously it&#39;s very October 11th. Weeks, I&#39;m weeks behind in this story. But I&#39;m like, okay, girl, you have an opinion about sports, thanks to Taylor Swift. I mean, Taylor Swift is, you know, there&#39;s so many hilarious memes about you know, people being like, Taylor Swift is really gonna make Travis Kelsey&#39;s career sale when in reality, are you are you up to date with like oh yes? David: 3:16 Somehow I fell into all this and I I I was kind of here for it because there&#39;s like so many mean things and it was fantastic. Gavin: 3:22 It&#39;s hilarious, it&#39;s hilarious. Well, anyway, so she says to me, but you know, daddy, what this means. Oh, and she, of course, is like, and I can&#39;t wait to watch next week&#39;s game. I&#39;m like, what? Okay, you want to watch a football game? Great, just to see if Taylor Swift is gonna be in the background. Cool. She goes, but you know what this means, Daddy? She has a new boyfriend, so what does that mean? A new album coming up. Oh, and by the way, daddy, oh, and by the way, daddy, Denver sucks. And I&#39;m like, excuse me? She goes, Yeah, they lost like 70 to 20. And I&#39;m like, sweetie, uh, that is almost statistically impossible for a game to have a spread of 70 to 20. David: 4:01 Also, and stop. Just just be into the Taylor Swift part of this. Don&#39;t don&#39;t think that you know stats and you&#39;re gonna join a fantasy league. Gavin: 4:09 So then I literally turned and I Googled real quick what was the score of the last Denver Broncos game, and they lost 70 to 20. Oh my god. And also, by the way, they&#39;re in last place in the NFL. But I was like, okay, girl, you know football scores now. And I&#39;m I mean, I guess I&#39;m here for it all. David: 4:29 I mean, I guess if this is the way she gets into something different to like diversify her Taylor Swift in the except not diversifying at all. Gavin: 4:36 But I mean, listen, I um I don&#39;t mind um watching a football game with her, and by watching a football game, I mean watching the last seven minutes, which is the most interesting part, and some of the commercials. But um, you know, and and thick men and white tights or whatever they&#39;re wearing, right? Throwing tights in their tight pants. David: 4:54 Yes, watching the tight end in his tight white pants, and the wide receivers, uh, my nickname in college. So, anyway, um yeah, so children are stupid. Um, but also I have decided that children are ugly mirrors. Oh, and when I say that, I mean like you don&#39;t realize you do or say or act a certain way, and then your children do it. Yeah and you realize it comes from you. Yeah, and it is never cute. I mean, every once in a while it&#39;s cute. So, like um, one of the things my husband says when um our son gets up is like, Did you have a good sleep? And it&#39;s very sweet. And now he&#39;ll wake up and he&#39;ll come into our room and be like, Did you guys have a good sleep? So it&#39;s very cute. So sometimes it&#39;s cute, sometimes it&#39;s not cute. Like I I would say most of the time. I think me, like most self-respecting artists, hate myself with such a burning passion, um, but also an egomaniac at the same time. Do you already know? Relatable, relatable. Gavin: 5:47 Your shit doesn&#39;t stink and you hate yourself at the same time. David: 5:50 And I can&#39;t walk past a mirror with A hating myself, B, lifting my shirt up and looking at my stomach to see if it still is as disgusting as I think it is. Gavin: 5:58 How much you have to hate yourself in that moment. David: 5:59 Yeah, I mean, it&#39;s like a real like deep sea of trauma. Gavin: 6:01 I mean, you mean you&#39;ve heard me many times say I cannot look at myself in the screen right now because I will just stare at myself the entire time. So I always have our notes next covering my face up. David: 6:10 Yeah. So my son is peeing the other day, and I&#39;m waiting for him to be done, and I you know, staring at my my my midsection, hating myself. And my my son turns to me and goes, Daddy, why do you always look at yourself? Why always lift your shirt up and look at yourself? And my husband had warned me, he&#39;s like, You gotta stop doing that because he&#39;s gonna because like this is this is like going to our top three list is at the generational curses. I was like, I cannot pass along this body trauma to him. But it was like one of those things where I was like, I didn&#39;t think he saw that. Like he doesn&#39;t see anything, but I do it all the fucking time. And by the way, out there, this is totally in my head. I have a rock hard six pack, but I just you know, I&#39;m just gonna- We&#39;re gonna put that in our show notes. Yeah, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll post some shirtless photos on Instagram. So anyway, I think children are ugly to mirrors. Gavin: 6:50 We we definitely need to build our following and your thirst trap pictures. I mean, let&#39;s do it. David: 6:55 I did post a uh TikTok of me with like my shirt open, like dancing, and it was a it was a big step for me. I was very nervous because I don&#39;t I don&#39;t have a good body, but I was just like, you know what? I don&#39;t care. This is a joke, whatever. Um uh it has like two views, anyway. Gavin: 7:08 As you should though, we really do need to get past our art artsy um uh body trauma because it&#39;s like the I I&#39;m gonna stop you right now and say, hey, everybody, David might not have a six-pack, but he&#39;s got at least a two-pack and yeah, and and a two-pack and a tube top. They look really good together. And you need to embrace your i I wouldn&#39;t even say you have a dad bot. Just but it&#39;s a big thing. No, I don&#39;t. David: 7:30 I I I actually don&#39;t. Like if I&#39;m being honest with myself, I look, I have an I have like a mannequin body where I just look like a regular person. There&#39;s no nothing interesting or defining about me. Um, but you know, I I I hate myself like a very good artist. But um, I want to move on to just the last topic before we do our top three, which is um moms groups on Facebook. There was a post in a gay dad&#39;s group I&#39;m in on Facebook talking about this, and they were talking about how do you feel about these like moms groups, right? Like where it&#39;s like moms of you know, Bergen County or whatever, and like you&#39;re not allowed in there. And it&#39;s just an interesting thing because like you understand the reason they exist is like because there&#39;s a safe space for these moms to do whatever, yeah, but also it&#39;s exclusionary for people who aren&#39;t don&#39;t have moms in their family, but also it&#39;s but also there&#39;s the gay dad group, which is the same way, but ooh, that was some drama. There was some back and forth in that. And I am here, I told you Facebook drama, catnip to me. Gavin: 8:27 Wait, are you saying in the the gay dads group that was the drama they were going to do it? David: 8:31 It was like women deserve their own safe space, blah, blah, blah. And the other people are like, absolutely not, it&#39;s exclusionary. How dare they let us not let us in there? And I&#39;m just like, whatever. But there&#39;s one in my hometown, and it is the only parents group of my town. And they were like, it&#39;s like a mom&#39;s group. And I was like, I asked, I emailed the moderator. I was like, Can I join? I&#39;m not, I don&#39;t, we don&#39;t, there&#39;s a two-dad family. And she was like, No. Because my my neighbor friend said, like, oh, did you see the thing in the parents group? There&#39;s like free toys in the curb. I was like, No, I&#39;m not allowed in there. It&#39;s not a parents group, it&#39;s a mom&#39;s group. Gavin: 9:00 And do you know what it that&#39;s a difference? Well, that&#39;s funny. That&#39;s funny. Just now I was kind of like, oh, come on, you don&#39;t need to be in a mom&#39;s group. You have got your gay dads, but wait, the local thing? You should be allowed in there. David: 9:10 There&#39;s no local, but I then I was like, should I start up local dads? Oh, please. This is so stupid. But like, but no, the gay dads group is like a national, just basically a uh it&#39;s called gay dads on Facebook. It&#39;s pretty cool. Yeah, of course. But um, but yeah, no, it&#39;s like a local town, like, hey guys, like yeah, questions about pediatricians, like helpful stuff, but it&#39;s very that should be. Gavin: 9:28 I mean, and obviously you would be the most contributive and uh helpful person on that group, and they don&#39;t realize what they&#39;ve left out. I mean, come on. That is exclusionary and stupid, I think. David: 9:37 Totally. So um, so moving on from uh these uh children are ugly mirrors and not passing down your trauma. Let&#39;s talk about our top three lists this week, shall we? It&#39;s time for the top three list. Gatry arcs, top three list, three, two, one. I love that song. So this week is my list, and it is top three unserious generational curses you are breaking. This is a TikTok trend that happened last month, but we are you and the you and the TT. All right. I love a TT. Gavin: 10:09 I wish I had I wish I had studied that. I bet my list would be a lot better, but I&#39;ve got I&#39;m ready. David: 10:14 I&#39;m ready. That&#39;s okay. You&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re usually a disappointment in all areas. Um absolutely mediocre. So, number three for me, unserious generational curse, um, gift giving for Christmas and every family member for birthdays and Christmases and everything. SPEAKER_05: 10:29 Oh. David: 10:30 Me and my friends, like my inner circle, we don&#39;t really get each other gifts anymore. Like we&#39;ll maybe go out for dinner for a birthday, or we&#39;ll maybe, or we&#39;ll do like a fun thing or whatever, but like the like nonstop gift giving for everything, for every uncle and aunt and niece and nephew and cousin. Oh, we&#39;re breaking that. We&#39;re breaking that. Gavin: 10:50 You you but you know people who do that still? David: 10:53 My family still does that. Oh wow, we&#39;re good for it. It&#39;s very generous. But we have a fan, I mean it would be like 25 people I have to buy for. I was like, no, we&#39;re breaking that. Um, number two, um, there are things that we don&#39;t talk about. I&#39;m breaking that. Religion, politics, all of that kind of stuff, sex. Like I grew up in a family where there are just some things that are unkind that we don&#39;t talk about. And let&#39;s just, you know, the people get very upset. Let&#39;s just not talk about them. No. Gavin: 11:18 But are they unkind or are they just lead they lead down a path of family? David: 11:24 But I think that&#39;s important. I think the more you cap that, yeah, the more probably like it just anyway. So um, I&#39;m breaking that curse. Um, and number one, the unserious generational curse I am breaking is finish what&#39;s on your plate. Oh, good. Uh, teaching that food is, you know, if you&#39;re hungry, you eat the food that you&#39;ve been given. If you&#39;re not hungry, you don&#39;t eat it. Like the the thought that you have to finish this food when you don&#39;t want to eat and putting a negative association with uh food and uh what it does for your body. Um, I&#39;m breaking that. That&#39;s my number one. What about you? Gavin: 11:57 In this one episode, you have gone from um bringing the body trauma to ending the body trauma. I&#39;m I also I also bet one thing that you would like, one unserious generation generational curse you&#39;d like to stop is me interrupting your top threes. But hey, I want to converse with you. So um, for me, number three is cleaning the house. Now, what I mean by that is it&#39;s not that we don&#39;t clean the house, but my mom had house trauma, frankly, that nobody was allowed in the house unless it was absolutely immaculate. And frankly, we didn&#39;t have an immaculate house. I&#39;m not saying it was dirty, it was just kind of messy. And therefore, nobody was allowed in the house. And I&#39;m like, folks, I would rather have the fellowship in my house than think that I can&#39;t let anybody if every crumb is not on the counter. Because guess what, y&#39;all? We have piles of paper from time to time, and um, and yeah, so I&#39;m ending having to have a clean house to have people over. Number two, combed hair. Like, whatever. David: 12:54 Well, I can tell you&#39;ve you&#39;ve given up on that pretty true. Whatever. Gavin: 12:57 Well, for my kids, it&#39;s like, if you listen, if you don&#39;t want to comb your hair, I frankly I don&#39;t care because we don&#39;t live in a slicked down, you know, world anymore. And um, and there was I had so much trauma about having the right haircut when uh when I was a kid, and my mom just always was like screaming about me looking like the perfect little kid, and I didn&#39;t want to look like the perfect little kid, especially in middle school. So I&#39;m like, you know what? Cut your hair however you want. I don&#39;t want to have this drama. And number one, pretending to have my shit together. I mean, that&#39;s what Gatriarch&#39;s podcast is about, right? It&#39;s like we are we we have to end ourselves, disassociate ourselves from thinking that we have all of our shit together. Because you know, I came screening into this recording just now, not having my shit together. David: 13:41 So Gavin, that was actually a really well thought out, good list for you. I&#39;m surprised. Um, and...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we talk about how kids can be really ugly mirrors, Gavin talks about Taylor Swift AGAIN, and somehow we got lucky and tricked sexual health and wellness expert  Dr. Evan Goldstein to join us to talk all things parenting and all things ass, Dav]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we talk about how kids can be really ugly mirrors, Gavin talks about Taylor Swift AGAIN, and somehow we got lucky and tricked sexual health and wellness expert  Dr. Evan Goldstein to join us to talk all things parenting and all things ass, David&apos;s two favorite things.  📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 The Queer Family Booker. Well, hello there. My name is Jamie, and I am the host of the Queer Family Podcast. The show all about family, both gay, as we like to say. The point of the show is and always has been to highlight LGBTQIA plus families, letting the whole world know that despite the fact that we work very hard to create our extremely intentional families, we&#39;re just like every other parent out there trying not to yell at our kids when they still haven&#39;t put their shoes on and we are already 25 minutes late for school. The struggle is real, am I right? I go in-depth with weekly LGBTQIA plus folks and some allies on how they built their families and how they show up in a world that wasn&#39;t necessarily designed for them. We laugh a lot, we cry a little, we learn a lot, and through our stories, we illustrate the undeniable fact that love is in fact love, and love makes a family. I hope you tune in, and if you like what you hear, you subscribe, rate, and review wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure you&#39;re following us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube where you&#39;re gonna find some video episodes as well. Tune in. Happy listening. I&#39;ll see you soon. SPEAKER_01: 1:26 Lovers, lovers, love on the queer family podcast. Love is love. David: 1:33 What&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Gavin: 1:34 Uh it&#39;s funny that you ask me that right now because I&#39;m looking at my list realizing that I didn&#39;t uh think of one. So what we should do next week is something gayer. Top three reasons I should fire Gavin from the podcast. I mean, top three. How how will you be able to narrow it down? And this is Gatrich. So the other night, my daughter says to me, Daddy, what&#39;s your favorite football team? And I&#39;m like, What? David: 2:13 You&#39;re like the Boston Red Sox. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 2:15 So I&#39;m like, well, I mean, I grew up in Denver, so you know, I&#39;ll always say the Denver Broncos. And she goes, My favorite team is Kansas City. And I&#39;m like, What? You&#39;ve never had an opinion about sports ever in your entire life, except your soccer team, and who sucks on it and who doesn&#39;t. But so suddenly I&#39;m like, Oh, you like Kansas City, huh? And she goes, uh-huh. Because Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelsey. Wait, what? Yeah. Now I didn&#39;t know. I know we are way behind because we are obviously we have uh released this on October 11th, but um, and today is obviously it&#39;s very October 11th. Weeks, I&#39;m weeks behind in this story. But I&#39;m like, okay, girl, you have an opinion about sports, thanks to Taylor Swift. I mean, Taylor Swift is, you know, there&#39;s so many hilarious memes about you know, people being like, Taylor Swift is really gonna make Travis Kelsey&#39;s career sale when in reality, are you are you up to date with like oh yes? David: 3:16 Somehow I fell into all this and I I I was kind of here for it because there&#39;s like so many mean things and it was fantastic. Gavin: 3:22 It&#39;s hilarious, it&#39;s hilarious. Well, anyway, so she says to me, but you know, daddy, what this means. Oh, and she, of course, is like, and I can&#39;t wait to watch next week&#39;s game. I&#39;m like, what? Okay, you want to watch a football game? Great, just to see if Taylor Swift is gonna be in the background. Cool. She goes, but you know what this means, Daddy? She has a new boyfriend, so what does that mean? A new album coming up. Oh, and by the way, daddy, oh, and by the way, daddy, Denver sucks. And I&#39;m like, excuse me? She goes, Yeah, they lost like 70 to 20. And I&#39;m like, sweetie, uh, that is almost statistically impossible for a game to have a spread of 70 to 20. David: 4:01 Also, and stop. Just just be into the Taylor Swift part of this. Don&#39;t don&#39;t think that you know stats and you&#39;re gonna join a fantasy league. Gavin: 4:09 So then I literally turned and I Googled real quick what was the score of the last Denver Broncos game, and they lost 70 to 20. Oh my god. And also, by the way, they&#39;re in last place in the NFL. But I was like, okay, girl, you know football scores now. And I&#39;m I mean, I guess I&#39;m here for it all. David: 4:29 I mean, I guess if this is the way she gets into something different to like diversify her Taylor Swift in the except not diversifying at all. Gavin: 4:36 But I mean, listen, I um I don&#39;t mind um watching a football game with her, and by watching a football game, I mean watching the last seven minutes, which is the most interesting part, and some of the commercials. But um, you know, and and thick men and white tights or whatever they&#39;re wearing, right? Throwing tights in their tight pants. David: 4:54 Yes, watching the tight end in his tight white pants, and the wide receivers, uh, my nickname in college. So, anyway, um yeah, so children are stupid. Um, but also I have decided that children are ugly mirrors. Oh, and when I say that, I mean like you don&#39;t realize you do or say or act a certain way, and then your children do it. Yeah and you realize it comes from you. Yeah, and it is never cute. I mean, every once in a while it&#39;s cute. So, like um, one of the things my husband says when um our son gets up is like, Did you have a good sleep? And it&#39;s very sweet. And now he&#39;ll wake up and he&#39;ll come into our room and be like, Did you guys have a good sleep? So it&#39;s very cute. So sometimes it&#39;s cute, sometimes it&#39;s not cute. Like I I would say most of the time. I think me, like most self-respecting artists, hate myself with such a burning passion, um, but also an egomaniac at the same time. Do you already know? Relatable, relatable. Gavin: 5:47 Your shit doesn&#39;t stink and you hate yourself at the same time. David: 5:50 And I can&#39;t walk past a mirror with A hating myself, B, lifting my shirt up and looking at my stomach to see if it still is as disgusting as I think it is. Gavin: 5:58 How much you have to hate yourself in that moment. David: 5:59 Yeah, I mean, it&#39;s like a real like deep sea of trauma. Gavin: 6:01 I mean, you mean you&#39;ve heard me many times say I cannot look at myself in the screen right now because I will just stare at myself the entire time. So I always have our notes next covering my face up. David: 6:10 Yeah. So my son is peeing the other day, and I&#39;m waiting for him to be done, and I you know, staring at my my my midsection, hating myself. And my my son turns to me and goes, Daddy, why do you always look at yourself? Why always lift your shirt up and look at yourself? And my husband had warned me, he&#39;s like, You gotta stop doing that because he&#39;s gonna because like this is this is like going to our top three list is at the generational curses. I was like, I cannot pass along this body trauma to him. But it was like one of those things where I was like, I didn&#39;t think he saw that. Like he doesn&#39;t see anything, but I do it all the fucking time. And by the way, out there, this is totally in my head. I have a rock hard six pack, but I just you know, I&#39;m just gonna- We&#39;re gonna put that in our show notes. Yeah, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll post some shirtless photos on Instagram. So anyway, I think children are ugly to mirrors. Gavin: 6:50 We we definitely need to build our following and your thirst trap pictures. I mean, let&#39;s do it. David: 6:55 I did post a uh TikTok of me with like my shirt open, like dancing, and it was a it was a big step for me. I was very nervous because I don&#39;t I don&#39;t have a good body, but I was just like, you know what? I don&#39;t care. This is a joke, whatever. Um uh it has like two views, anyway. Gavin: 7:08 As you should though, we really do need to get past our art artsy um uh body trauma because it&#39;s like the I I&#39;m gonna stop you right now and say, hey, everybody, David might not have a six-pack, but he&#39;s got at least a two-pack and yeah, and and a two-pack and a tube top. They look really good together. And you need to embrace your i I wouldn&#39;t even say you have a dad bot. Just but it&#39;s a big thing. No, I don&#39;t. David: 7:30 I I I actually don&#39;t. Like if I&#39;m being honest with myself, I look, I have an I have like a mannequin body where I just look like a regular person. There&#39;s no nothing interesting or defining about me. Um, but you know, I I I hate myself like a very good artist. But um, I want to move on to just the last topic before we do our top three, which is um moms groups on Facebook. There was a post in a gay dad&#39;s group I&#39;m in on Facebook talking about this, and they were talking about how do you feel about these like moms groups, right? Like where it&#39;s like moms of you know, Bergen County or whatever, and like you&#39;re not allowed in there. And it&#39;s just an interesting thing because like you understand the reason they exist is like because there&#39;s a safe space for these moms to do whatever, yeah, but also it&#39;s exclusionary for people who aren&#39;t don&#39;t have moms in their family, but also it&#39;s but also there&#39;s the gay dad group, which is the same way, but ooh, that was some drama. There was some back and forth in that. And I am here, I told you Facebook drama, catnip to me. Gavin: 8:27 Wait, are you saying in the the gay dads group that was the drama they were going to do it? David: 8:31 It was like women deserve their own safe space, blah, blah, blah. And the other people are like, absolutely not, it&#39;s exclusionary. How dare they let us not let us in there? And I&#39;m just like, whatever. But there&#39;s one in my hometown, and it is the only parents group of my town. And they were like, it&#39;s like a mom&#39;s group. And I was like, I asked, I emailed the moderator. I was like, Can I join? I&#39;m not, I don&#39;t, we don&#39;t, there&#39;s a two-dad family. And she was like, No. Because my my neighbor friend said, like, oh, did you see the thing in the parents group? There&#39;s like free toys in the curb. I was like, No, I&#39;m not allowed in there. It&#39;s not a parents group, it&#39;s a mom&#39;s group. Gavin: 9:00 And do you know what it that&#39;s a difference? Well, that&#39;s funny. That&#39;s funny. Just now I was kind of like, oh, come on, you don&#39;t need to be in a mom&#39;s group. You have got your gay dads, but wait, the local thing? You should be allowed in there. David: 9:10 There&#39;s no local, but I then I was like, should I start up local dads? Oh, please. This is so stupid. But like, but no, the gay dads group is like a national, just basically a uh it&#39;s called gay dads on Facebook. It&#39;s pretty cool. Yeah, of course. But um, but yeah, no, it&#39;s like a local town, like, hey guys, like yeah, questions about pediatricians, like helpful stuff, but it&#39;s very that should be. Gavin: 9:28 I mean, and obviously you would be the most contributive and uh helpful person on that group, and they don&#39;t realize what they&#39;ve left out. I mean, come on. That is exclusionary and stupid, I think. David: 9:37 Totally. So um, so moving on from uh these uh children are ugly mirrors and not passing down your trauma. Let&#39;s talk about our top three lists this week, shall we? It&#39;s time for the top three list. Gatry arcs, top three list, three, two, one. I love that song. So this week is my list, and it is top three unserious generational curses you are breaking. This is a TikTok trend that happened last month, but we are you and the you and the TT. All right. I love a TT. Gavin: 10:09 I wish I had I wish I had studied that. I bet my list would be a lot better, but I&#39;ve got I&#39;m ready. David: 10:14 I&#39;m ready. That&#39;s okay. You&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re usually a disappointment in all areas. Um absolutely mediocre. So, number three for me, unserious generational curse, um, gift giving for Christmas and every family member for birthdays and Christmases and everything. SPEAKER_05: 10:29 Oh. David: 10:30 Me and my friends, like my inner circle, we don&#39;t really get each other gifts anymore. Like we&#39;ll maybe go out for dinner for a birthday, or we&#39;ll maybe, or we&#39;ll do like a fun thing or whatever, but like the like nonstop gift giving for everything, for every uncle and aunt and niece and nephew and cousin. Oh, we&#39;re breaking that. We&#39;re breaking that. Gavin: 10:50 You you but you know people who do that still? David: 10:53 My family still does that. Oh wow, we&#39;re good for it. It&#39;s very generous. But we have a fan, I mean it would be like 25 people I have to buy for. I was like, no, we&#39;re breaking that. Um, number two, um, there are things that we don&#39;t talk about. I&#39;m breaking that. Religion, politics, all of that kind of stuff, sex. Like I grew up in a family where there are just some things that are unkind that we don&#39;t talk about. And let&#39;s just, you know, the people get very upset. Let&#39;s just not talk about them. No. Gavin: 11:18 But are they unkind or are they just lead they lead down a path of family? David: 11:24 But I think that&#39;s important. I think the more you cap that, yeah, the more probably like it just anyway. So um, I&#39;m breaking that curse. Um, and number one, the unserious generational curse I am breaking is finish what&#39;s on your plate. Oh, good. Uh, teaching that food is, you know, if you&#39;re hungry, you eat the food that you&#39;ve been given. If you&#39;re not hungry, you don&#39;t eat it. Like the the thought that you have to finish this food when you don&#39;t want to eat and putting a negative association with uh food and uh what it does for your body. Um, I&#39;m breaking that. That&#39;s my number one. What about you? Gavin: 11:57 In this one episode, you have gone from um bringing the body trauma to ending the body trauma. I&#39;m I also I also bet one thing that you would like, one unserious generation generational curse you&#39;d like to stop is me interrupting your top threes. But hey, I want to converse with you. So um, for me, number three is cleaning the house. Now, what I mean by that is it&#39;s not that we don&#39;t clean the house, but my mom had house trauma, frankly, that nobody was allowed in the house unless it was absolutely immaculate. And frankly, we didn&#39;t have an immaculate house. I&#39;m not saying it was dirty, it was just kind of messy. And therefore, nobody was allowed in the house. And I&#39;m like, folks, I would rather have the fellowship in my house than think that I can&#39;t let anybody if every crumb is not on the counter. Because guess what, y&#39;all? We have piles of paper from time to time, and um, and yeah, so I&#39;m ending having to have a clean house to have people over. Number two, combed hair. Like, whatever. David: 12:54 Well, I can tell you&#39;ve you&#39;ve given up on that pretty true. Whatever. Gavin: 12:57 Well, for my kids, it&#39;s like, if you listen, if you don&#39;t want to comb your hair, I frankly I don&#39;t care because we don&#39;t live in a slicked down, you know, world anymore. And um, and there was I had so much trauma about having the right haircut when uh when I was a kid, and my mom just always was like screaming about me looking like the perfect little kid, and I didn&#39;t want to look like the perfect little kid, especially in middle school. So I&#39;m like, you know what? Cut your hair however you want. I don&#39;t want to have this drama. And number one, pretending to have my shit together. I mean, that&#39;s what Gatriarch&#39;s podcast is about, right? It&#39;s like we are we we have to end ourselves, disassociate ourselves from thinking that we have all of our shit together. Because you know, I came screening into this recording just now, not having my shit together. David: 13:41 So Gavin, that was actually a really well thought out, good list for you. I&#39;m surprised. Um, and...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we talk about how kids can be really ugly mirrors, Gavin talks about Taylor Swift AGAIN, and somehow we got lucky and tricked sexual health and wellness expert  Dr. Evan Goldstein to join us to talk all things parenting and all things ass, David&apos;s two favorite things.  📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 The Queer Family Booker. Well, hello there. My name is Jamie, and I am the host of the Queer Family Podcast. The show all about family, both gay, as we like to say. The point of the show is and always has been to highlight LGBTQIA plus families, letting the whole world know that despite the fact that we work very hard to create our extremely intentional families, we&#39;re just like every other parent out there trying not to yell at our kids when they still haven&#39;t put their shoes on and we are already 25 minutes late for school. The struggle is real, am I right? I go in-depth with weekly LGBTQIA plus folks and some allies on how they built their families and how they show up in a world that wasn&#39;t necessarily designed for them. We laugh a lot, we cry a little, we learn a lot, and through our stories, we illustrate the undeniable fact that love is in fact love, and love makes a family. I hope you tune in, and if you like what you hear, you subscribe, rate, and review wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure you&#39;re following us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube where you&#39;re gonna find some video episodes as well. Tune in. Happy listening. I&#39;ll see you soon. SPEAKER_01: 1:26 Lovers, lovers, love on the queer family podcast. Love is love. David: 1:33 What&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Gavin: 1:34 Uh it&#39;s funny that you ask me that right now because I&#39;m looking at my list realizing that I didn&#39;t uh think of one. So what we should do next week is something gayer. Top three reasons I should fire Gavin from the podcast. I mean, top three. How how will you be able to narrow it down? And this is Gatrich. So the other night, my daughter says to me, Daddy, what&#39;s your favorite football team? And I&#39;m like, What? David: 2:13 You&#39;re like the Boston Red Sox. I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 2:15 So I&#39;m like, well, I mean, I grew up in Denver, so you know, I&#39;ll always say the Denver Broncos. And she goes, My favorite team is Kansas City. And I&#39;m like, What? You&#39;ve never had an opinion about sports ever in your entire life, except your soccer team, and who sucks on it and who doesn&#39;t. But so suddenly I&#39;m like, Oh, you like Kansas City, huh? And she goes, uh-huh. Because Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelsey. Wait, what? Yeah. Now I didn&#39;t know. I know we are way behind because we are obviously we have uh released this on October 11th, but um, and today is obviously it&#39;s very October 11th. Weeks, I&#39;m weeks behind in this story. But I&#39;m like, okay, girl, you have an opinion about sports, thanks to Taylor Swift. I mean, Taylor Swift is, you know, there&#39;s so many hilarious memes about you know, people being like, Taylor Swift is really gonna make Travis Kelsey&#39;s career sale when in reality, are you are you up to date with like oh yes? David: 3:16 Somehow I fell into all this and I I I was kind of here for it because there&#39;s like so many mean things and it was fantastic. Gavin: 3:22 It&#39;s hilarious, it&#39;s hilarious. Well, anyway, so she says to me, but you know, daddy, what this means. Oh, and she, of course, is like, and I can&#39;t wait to watch next week&#39;s game. I&#39;m like, what? Okay, you want to watch a football game? Great, just to see if Taylor Swift is gonna be in the background. Cool. She goes, but you know what this means, Daddy? She has a new boyfriend, so what does that mean? A new album coming up. Oh, and by the way, daddy, oh, and by the way, daddy, Denver sucks. And I&#39;m like, excuse me? She goes, Yeah, they lost like 70 to 20. And I&#39;m like, sweetie, uh, that is almost statistically imposs]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about how kids can be really ugly mirrors, Gavin talks about Taylor Swift AGAIN, and somehow we got lucky and tricked sexual health and wellness expert  Dr. Evan Goldstein to join us to talk all things parenting and all things ass, David&apos;s two favorite things.  📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 The Queer Family Booker. Well, hello there. My name is Jamie, and I am the host of the Queer Family Podcast. The show all about family, both gay, as we like to say. The point of the show is and always has been to highlight LGBTQIA plus families, letting the whole world know that despite the fact that we work very hard to create our extremely intentional families, we&#39;re just like every other parent out there trying not to yell at our kids when they still haven&#39;t put their shoes on and we are already 25 minutes late for school. The struggle is real, am I right? I go in-depth with weekly LGBTQIA plus folks and some allies on how they built their families and how]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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<item>
	<title>The one with TikTok star Ceci Kane</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-tiktok-star-ceci-kane/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Oct 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[Fare thee well, Felicia, David went to the Renaissance Fair this weekend and is gushing, Gavin gives us his parenting hack of the week, we reveal the top 3 reasons our gay cards were revoked, and are joined by TikTok and Instagram star Ceci Kane who talks to us about her Mom group comedy, how she deals with internet trolls, and why she thinks social media is merely a highlight reel.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re not perfect and those people are crazy and we&#39;re just normal people getting by. But what do you think? There are those perfectly manicured out um uh outlets. David: 0:13 It&#39;s like watching a newborn fawn learn to walk. Do you know what I mean? The shaky legs. It&#39;s adorable. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s So, Gavin, this weekend I went to the New York Renaissance Fair. unknown: 0:41 Who? Gavin: 0:41 Wait. That&#39;s an entire subculture I know nothing about. Are you in that subculture? David: 0:48 I am not. I am merely a visitor. I&#39;m merely a peasant in this world of kings and queens. Um I&#39;m I&#39;m it makes me feel better that you are. Gavin: 0:56 And for all of those kings and queens who are out there listening to us, particularly the queens, no offense. Uh tell us, write us, tell us, give us a thumbs up on all of the um socials for our podcast, and then let us know that you need to be a guest on this show because I want to know about Renaissance. David: 1:12 Oh, yeah. Maybe find some like gay Renaissance dads who are really into the scene. So um They can be gay daddies or gay dads. Sorry, I&#39;ll shut up. You keep going. Yeah. Good luck with shutting up. Um, so I uh so I have a friend who lives so the the Renaissance Fair is uh uh in New York, um, just outside the city. And I have a friend that lives in the area, and so we will often go together. And so she was like, Hey, you want to go to the Renaissance Fair this week? And I was like, Oh, yeah, that&#39;ll be fun. And guess what? I have these two children. How fun would it be to bring these two children to the middle of the woods in upstate New York? Gavin: 1:49 Um, so they don&#39;t think it&#39;s weird yet, they just think it&#39;s cool. David: 1:53 So Well, yeah. Well, first of all, we don&#39;t ever go farther than like 10, 15 minutes in the car. This is an hour drive, which turned into two hours because you&#39;re in the middle of the woods and everybody is trying to park in the middle of the woods together at the same time. But that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not the story I want to tell. I basically want to gush a little bit about the Renaissance Fair because I don&#39;t go often, I&#39;ve gone a couple times in the past years. And it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s fun. And I think what I forgot about it, which what reminded me this year, was that the Renaissance Fair is one of the last truly safe places for everyone to be. And I and I mean that in a lot of ways, because I feel like the your first thought when you think the Renaissance Fair is like nerds, like doing nerd stuff, which and turkey legs and also spending a lot of money, frankly. Gavin: 2:41 I just imagine I have literally disclaimer, never been to a Renaissance fair, but I just think of it as like nine million ways to part with your money that not all of them are not entirely as satisfying as you want them to be. But sure. David: 2:54 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s capitalism, right? But but what I love about it is like the culture of the Renaissance fair is this place, I think because it started with these people who love, you know, uh reenactments and or the Renaissance or whatever. Sure. So, so yes, there&#39;s the kind of quote unquote nerd culture, but because it is their realm, it is a place where like anybody, like we&#39;re talking diversity and age, uh, race, but also sexual orientation. Like it is, you see everyone there. And what I love about it is that the people who are the the kings and queens, literally and metaphorically, are the people who are on the outcast of all other parts of society. So it&#39;s this weird place where like fat old men who are queer and trans and into this Renaissance subculture are the heroes. These people, this is where they so I just I I I am very obsessed with bodies. I grew up as kind of a slightly chubby person. I bodies are very something that I&#39;m always trying to like figure out better ways to like celebrate bodies or whatever. And this is a place where people who are not traditionally fit in the ways that we think of of bodies are shirtless or wearing very revealing clothing and they are celebrated. And it&#39;s just there&#39;s just not a lot of places like that. I&#39;m just I&#39;m just so fucking obsessed with it. So we went to the Renaissance fair. Um, they have, of course, fucking jousts, and they have like the procession of the queen. Gavin: 4:21 I mean, careful when you say fucking jousts, because I kind of feel like is there Renaissance Fair after dark? David: 4:27 I wish I I did not see any cruising. Now, to be fair, I was there at like 11 a.m. on a Sunday, so it&#39;s like a lot of kids, but like even like they quote unquote have rides, but the rides were all like Renaissance. He were like they had like boats that would like swing back and forth, but they were manpowered, they were just on ropes. Oh, so like awesome. You know what I mean? It was like, you know, it was and terrifying. And probably terrifying, yes. Um, and then of course, yes, there are turkey legs, there are gift shops, there are things where you will be departing with your money. And what&#39;s hilarious to me is that the Renaissance Fair is a cash-only place. And I think the point is to kind of make it feel a little more like, yeah, you would trade, you know, cash for good. But the problem is that nobody carries cash. So they have this whole separate area. And it was on my Instagram stories the other day of like ye old ATMs, and it is hacked. And they literally try to decorate these like ATM vestibules to look like old Renaissance y, but good for them. You trying to be like this cash society, like we&#39;re just going to the ATM, so it doesn&#39;t have that same kind of feeling. Um, right, but the big surprise for me this year, this is the one I wanted to bring up. The big surprise, uh, having gone many times, is that all of a sudden I&#39;m seeing some like beef. And by beef, I mean like jacked, shirtless, like the the male sex point of view, uh-huh, it was very my friend I was there with, I was like, Do you notice the beef here? And she was like, the beef is off the fucking charts. And we&#39;re not talking about, I don&#39;t just mean like there&#39;s muscles, there&#39;s like skinny, there&#39;s there&#39;s chubby, there&#39;s all the kinds of beef. There&#39;s many different kinds of cuts of beef, but beef and like men being like, I&#39;m gonna wear short shorts and and an open shirt, and I&#39;m gonna carry this axe and wear you know a wolf head on my like like I and it all was working for me. Gavin: 6:17 So yeah. Did you did you get gay vibes from it? Or was it just like men living their best life? David: 6:23 I think it&#39;s straight, but it&#39;s homoerotic. Do you know what I mean? Like, and they know it. And again, open space. These these guys are like, yeah, look at look at my legs. Look at my fucking legs. Anyway, I had a great time, other than you know, taking two hours to park and the long drive and kids who are screaming and just wanted cotton candy. But man, I tell you what, the Renaissance Fair, one of the last places you can show up. Where I mean, we&#39;re talking about I saw people wearing regular clothes, I saw people wearing Renaissance, like heavy things, I saw trans people um very visibly trans and trying to show their vis their transness. I saw um different bodies celebrating their bodies, I saw people in just unicorn onesies. It is literally a place where nobody fucking bats an eye. And how great to still have a place like that. Gavin: 7:08 That&#39;s fantastic. I&#39;m I am all about that. And now I do have to know, were there like rainbow flags and trans flags also to represent or the or they do it in their own subtle renaissance way? Or or don&#39;t even feel like they have to proclaim anything. David: 7:22 I I think that there is a point of view at these Renaissance fairs of we&#39;re gonna try to make it feel and look as authentic of an experience as possible, right? Like there&#39;s no like the joust and everything, like everything is very, very like hay on the ground. Like they try other than the ATM vestibules, they try to keep it as like Renaissance y as possible. So there&#39;s no modern things like that. Like, um, which I appreciate. Gavin: 7:47 You you have sold me. I want to go see the jousting, I want to see the fucking jousting, and I want to see the beef. And I suppose get a turkey leg. So thanks, you&#39;ve sold. David: 7:56 One of the horse, one of the jousty guys, I don&#39;t have the the Renaissance words for it. The guys who rode the horse and did the joust, he was so hot. Like I felt uncomfortable watching him because the thoughts that were going through my mind in a family-friendly environment were not appropriate. Gavin: 8:13 Have you gone down a rabbit hole of Instagram like Renaissance Beef? David: 8:18 No, but I&#39;m I&#39;m I guarantee you that account exists. RenaissanceBeef.com or something. Yeah, I will be signing up immediately. Gavin: 8:24 Adjacent to the Renaissance Fair, except not at all. Um, I had a parenting hack of the week that I thought might be helpful for down the line, especially for uh dads who have kids who are a little older, like mine are like 11 and 10, which isn&#39;t all that old. But this morning, my kid woke up in a panic. Because why? It&#39;s a spirit day. Just wait until you get to spirit days. I mean, you want to complain about preschools and all those baby uh birthday parties and pancake days. Well, let me tell you, spirit days are a fucking pain in the ass because the kids never think about it until eight o&#39;clock the night before, right? And I mean, she&#39;s only 11. Like, of course she&#39;s not gonna think about things in advance. Well, this morning, total panic because, oh my god, dad, I have to have a tutu today. Today&#39;s tutu Friday, and I have to have one. And I&#39;m like, sweetie, maybe the Ask me how well this went. When I said, uh, it doesn&#39;t matter if you&#39;re just fitting in with in with everybody. Okay, Dad, I&#39;m just gonna be kicked off the soccer team because of it. I&#39;m like, okay, well, guess what? Daddy just happened to organize one of your drawers to be her costume drawer still, which we definitely had that when she was younger. But now I&#39;m like, I know that you&#39;re gonna need flannel, a hat, a tutu, uh oversized sweatshirt, a whatever for those stupid ass spirit days that drive all the parents um insane. She was very upset, but daddy just reached into that drawer and pulled out her pink tutu. And did I get a thank you? Did I get a sigh of relief? Did I get anything? She was just like, oh, there it is. My parenting hack is just always hold on to those silly costume elements that at some point in the year you&#39;re gonna need. Um, kind of like, frankly, I have my own costuming drawer. David: 10:10 That&#39;s what I thought you were gonna say. Is like when she was like, I need, I need a tutu. I was like, Gavin pulled it out of his private stash. Do you know what I mean? His private dad&#39;s nighttime stash. Gavin: 10:20 Okay, so that&#39;s yeah, you&#39;re right. That is not an earth-shattering hack, but it is important that down the line keep those costumes at the ready because all through middle school and high school, you gonna need them. You gonna need them. David: 10:31 Um, well, let&#39;s move on to our top three lists, shall we? Please. Gavin: 10:35 Oh, let&#39;s do that. Okay, so is this your week? Yes, this is my. I&#39;m very proud of this one. Okay. David, this week&#39;s topic is how what are the three ways you have actually basically had your gay card revoked? All right. I something we did not talk about is that I just climbed a mountain the other day uh in California. I was very lucky to um climb in Yosemite with friends of mine. And um it did make me laugh that I&#39;m sometimes referred to as the gayest straight man or the straightest gay man that they know. And yet, let me wave that rainbow flag uh uh loud and proud, because obviously gay dad and proud of it. So top three ways that I have had my gay card occasionally revoked by others. Number three, I never say bitch, sister, girl, or Mary. It&#39;s just not in my my vocabulary. And I know that makes me not very interesting. David: 11:25 No, it doesn&#39;t, no, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s just interesting because a bitch is bitch is a yeah, girl and and all that kind of stuff is a different kind kind of gay than we are, but like bitch, I yeah, it&#39;s a pretty common word. So that&#39;s interesting. Gavin: 11:36 I mean, I say bitch all the time, but I feel like I it has been I have been deprogrammed from ever using it. Um Because you say you you say bitch, you don&#39;t say bitch. Right, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Uh number two, who is Kylie Minogue? Wow. Who is she? Who is Kylie Minogue? I have no I can&#39;t name a single song of hers. David: 11:56 I haven&#39;t when the Padon thing I just can&#39;t get you out of my head. Boy, you&#39;re loving is all I think about. She was like real hot in the early 2000s. Gavin: 12:07 Well, I was already 62 in the early 2000s, so and then finally, number one, I have been called out because I have never seen Mommy Dearest. David: 12:17 Oh, me neither. I don&#39;t know. Is that a thing? Oh, okay. No, it&#39;s a big no, but that is a big part of gay culture. Well, older gay culture. Um, but I absolutely, we we I&#39;m totally there with you. People refer to it a lot, and I know there&#39;s the wire hanger scene, but I I I don&#39;t know anything about that movie. Gavin: 12:32 What about you, my friend? David: 12:33 All right, so and number three, um I love line dancing. I when I was in college, I would go to like country line dance bars in the middle of the woods, straight bud light, miller light, honky tonks in the middle of the woods to go line dancing. I fucking love it. Gavin: 12:57 Did you have a little extra body roll and hip roll in your line dancing? David: 13:00 I was so proud of the faggot who got let into the straight space because I was not of in the college, you&#39;re just so unabashedly yourself. I was just, oh yeah, no, I it was very clear who I was because every once in a while they&#39;d play, they had another uh section where they play pop music. And what Brittany would come on, I would race in there screaming. Like it was very obvious who I was. Um, and number two for me, I think Lady Gaga is just okay. Do you know what I mean? Like, I respect her, I think she&#39;s a good artist, I think she does a lot for the gay community. I I think I think she&#39;s okay. I think she&#39;s just okay. Yeah. Um, and number one, the number one reason that my gay car has been or was revoked, um, I have used many times, unironically, a flobe to cut my hair. And I don&#39;t, I&#39;m not proud to admit that, but it is something I wanted to say. And unironically. Unironically, I used a floby to cut my hair for multiple years. Uh, a roommate of mine, a straight roommate of mine, bought one and I used it and I said this is very convenient. So that is my top three uh reasons my gay card was revoked. Fantastic. What is next time? Next week, we are gonna jump on that TikTok trend, which I really, really love. And it is the top three unserious generational curses you are breaking. Okay, I&#39;m here for it. All right, so our guest this week is one of my personal favorite internet moms that have definitely come across...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[Fare thee well, Felicia, David went to the Renaissance Fair this weekend and is gushing, Gavin gives us his parenting hack of the week, we reveal the top 3 reasons our gay cards were revoked, and are joined by TikTok and Instagram star Ceci Kane who talk]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[Fare thee well, Felicia, David went to the Renaissance Fair this weekend and is gushing, Gavin gives us his parenting hack of the week, we reveal the top 3 reasons our gay cards were revoked, and are joined by TikTok and Instagram star Ceci Kane who talks to us about her Mom group comedy, how she deals with internet trolls, and why she thinks social media is merely a highlight reel.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re not perfect and those people are crazy and we&#39;re just normal people getting by. But what do you think? There are those perfectly manicured out um uh outlets. David: 0:13 It&#39;s like watching a newborn fawn learn to walk. Do you know what I mean? The shaky legs. It&#39;s adorable. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s So, Gavin, this weekend I went to the New York Renaissance Fair. unknown: 0:41 Who? Gavin: 0:41 Wait. That&#39;s an entire subculture I know nothing about. Are you in that subculture? David: 0:48 I am not. I am merely a visitor. I&#39;m merely a peasant in this world of kings and queens. Um I&#39;m I&#39;m it makes me feel better that you are. Gavin: 0:56 And for all of those kings and queens who are out there listening to us, particularly the queens, no offense. Uh tell us, write us, tell us, give us a thumbs up on all of the um socials for our podcast, and then let us know that you need to be a guest on this show because I want to know about Renaissance. David: 1:12 Oh, yeah. Maybe find some like gay Renaissance dads who are really into the scene. So um They can be gay daddies or gay dads. Sorry, I&#39;ll shut up. You keep going. Yeah. Good luck with shutting up. Um, so I uh so I have a friend who lives so the the Renaissance Fair is uh uh in New York, um, just outside the city. And I have a friend that lives in the area, and so we will often go together. And so she was like, Hey, you want to go to the Renaissance Fair this week? And I was like, Oh, yeah, that&#39;ll be fun. And guess what? I have these two children. How fun would it be to bring these two children to the middle of the woods in upstate New York? Gavin: 1:49 Um, so they don&#39;t think it&#39;s weird yet, they just think it&#39;s cool. David: 1:53 So Well, yeah. Well, first of all, we don&#39;t ever go farther than like 10, 15 minutes in the car. This is an hour drive, which turned into two hours because you&#39;re in the middle of the woods and everybody is trying to park in the middle of the woods together at the same time. But that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not the story I want to tell. I basically want to gush a little bit about the Renaissance Fair because I don&#39;t go often, I&#39;ve gone a couple times in the past years. And it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s fun. And I think what I forgot about it, which what reminded me this year, was that the Renaissance Fair is one of the last truly safe places for everyone to be. And I and I mean that in a lot of ways, because I feel like the your first thought when you think the Renaissance Fair is like nerds, like doing nerd stuff, which and turkey legs and also spending a lot of money, frankly. Gavin: 2:41 I just imagine I have literally disclaimer, never been to a Renaissance fair, but I just think of it as like nine million ways to part with your money that not all of them are not entirely as satisfying as you want them to be. But sure. David: 2:54 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s capitalism, right? But but what I love about it is like the culture of the Renaissance fair is this place, I think because it started with these people who love, you know, uh reenactments and or the Renaissance or whatever. Sure. So, so yes, there&#39;s the kind of quote unquote nerd culture, but because it is their realm, it is a place where like anybody, like we&#39;re talking diversity and age, uh, race, but also sexual orientation. Like it is, you see everyone there. And what I love about it is that the people who are the the kings and queens, literally and metaphorically, are the people who are on the outcast of all other parts of society. So it&#39;s this weird place where like fat old men who are queer and trans and into this Renaissance subculture are the heroes. These people, this is where they so I just I I I am very obsessed with bodies. I grew up as kind of a slightly chubby person. I bodies are very something that I&#39;m always trying to like figure out better ways to like celebrate bodies or whatever. And this is a place where people who are not traditionally fit in the ways that we think of of bodies are shirtless or wearing very revealing clothing and they are celebrated. And it&#39;s just there&#39;s just not a lot of places like that. I&#39;m just I&#39;m just so fucking obsessed with it. So we went to the Renaissance fair. Um, they have, of course, fucking jousts, and they have like the procession of the queen. Gavin: 4:21 I mean, careful when you say fucking jousts, because I kind of feel like is there Renaissance Fair after dark? David: 4:27 I wish I I did not see any cruising. Now, to be fair, I was there at like 11 a.m. on a Sunday, so it&#39;s like a lot of kids, but like even like they quote unquote have rides, but the rides were all like Renaissance. He were like they had like boats that would like swing back and forth, but they were manpowered, they were just on ropes. Oh, so like awesome. You know what I mean? It was like, you know, it was and terrifying. And probably terrifying, yes. Um, and then of course, yes, there are turkey legs, there are gift shops, there are things where you will be departing with your money. And what&#39;s hilarious to me is that the Renaissance Fair is a cash-only place. And I think the point is to kind of make it feel a little more like, yeah, you would trade, you know, cash for good. But the problem is that nobody carries cash. So they have this whole separate area. And it was on my Instagram stories the other day of like ye old ATMs, and it is hacked. And they literally try to decorate these like ATM vestibules to look like old Renaissance y, but good for them. You trying to be like this cash society, like we&#39;re just going to the ATM, so it doesn&#39;t have that same kind of feeling. Um, right, but the big surprise for me this year, this is the one I wanted to bring up. The big surprise, uh, having gone many times, is that all of a sudden I&#39;m seeing some like beef. And by beef, I mean like jacked, shirtless, like the the male sex point of view, uh-huh, it was very my friend I was there with, I was like, Do you notice the beef here? And she was like, the beef is off the fucking charts. And we&#39;re not talking about, I don&#39;t just mean like there&#39;s muscles, there&#39;s like skinny, there&#39;s there&#39;s chubby, there&#39;s all the kinds of beef. There&#39;s many different kinds of cuts of beef, but beef and like men being like, I&#39;m gonna wear short shorts and and an open shirt, and I&#39;m gonna carry this axe and wear you know a wolf head on my like like I and it all was working for me. Gavin: 6:17 So yeah. Did you did you get gay vibes from it? Or was it just like men living their best life? David: 6:23 I think it&#39;s straight, but it&#39;s homoerotic. Do you know what I mean? Like, and they know it. And again, open space. These these guys are like, yeah, look at look at my legs. Look at my fucking legs. Anyway, I had a great time, other than you know, taking two hours to park and the long drive and kids who are screaming and just wanted cotton candy. But man, I tell you what, the Renaissance Fair, one of the last places you can show up. Where I mean, we&#39;re talking about I saw people wearing regular clothes, I saw people wearing Renaissance, like heavy things, I saw trans people um very visibly trans and trying to show their vis their transness. I saw um different bodies celebrating their bodies, I saw people in just unicorn onesies. It is literally a place where nobody fucking bats an eye. And how great to still have a place like that. Gavin: 7:08 That&#39;s fantastic. I&#39;m I am all about that. And now I do have to know, were there like rainbow flags and trans flags also to represent or the or they do it in their own subtle renaissance way? Or or don&#39;t even feel like they have to proclaim anything. David: 7:22 I I think that there is a point of view at these Renaissance fairs of we&#39;re gonna try to make it feel and look as authentic of an experience as possible, right? Like there&#39;s no like the joust and everything, like everything is very, very like hay on the ground. Like they try other than the ATM vestibules, they try to keep it as like Renaissance y as possible. So there&#39;s no modern things like that. Like, um, which I appreciate. Gavin: 7:47 You you have sold me. I want to go see the jousting, I want to see the fucking jousting, and I want to see the beef. And I suppose get a turkey leg. So thanks, you&#39;ve sold. David: 7:56 One of the horse, one of the jousty guys, I don&#39;t have the the Renaissance words for it. The guys who rode the horse and did the joust, he was so hot. Like I felt uncomfortable watching him because the thoughts that were going through my mind in a family-friendly environment were not appropriate. Gavin: 8:13 Have you gone down a rabbit hole of Instagram like Renaissance Beef? David: 8:18 No, but I&#39;m I&#39;m I guarantee you that account exists. RenaissanceBeef.com or something. Yeah, I will be signing up immediately. Gavin: 8:24 Adjacent to the Renaissance Fair, except not at all. Um, I had a parenting hack of the week that I thought might be helpful for down the line, especially for uh dads who have kids who are a little older, like mine are like 11 and 10, which isn&#39;t all that old. But this morning, my kid woke up in a panic. Because why? It&#39;s a spirit day. Just wait until you get to spirit days. I mean, you want to complain about preschools and all those baby uh birthday parties and pancake days. Well, let me tell you, spirit days are a fucking pain in the ass because the kids never think about it until eight o&#39;clock the night before, right? And I mean, she&#39;s only 11. Like, of course she&#39;s not gonna think about things in advance. Well, this morning, total panic because, oh my god, dad, I have to have a tutu today. Today&#39;s tutu Friday, and I have to have one. And I&#39;m like, sweetie, maybe the Ask me how well this went. When I said, uh, it doesn&#39;t matter if you&#39;re just fitting in with in with everybody. Okay, Dad, I&#39;m just gonna be kicked off the soccer team because of it. I&#39;m like, okay, well, guess what? Daddy just happened to organize one of your drawers to be her costume drawer still, which we definitely had that when she was younger. But now I&#39;m like, I know that you&#39;re gonna need flannel, a hat, a tutu, uh oversized sweatshirt, a whatever for those stupid ass spirit days that drive all the parents um insane. She was very upset, but daddy just reached into that drawer and pulled out her pink tutu. And did I get a thank you? Did I get a sigh of relief? Did I get anything? She was just like, oh, there it is. My parenting hack is just always hold on to those silly costume elements that at some point in the year you&#39;re gonna need. Um, kind of like, frankly, I have my own costuming drawer. David: 10:10 That&#39;s what I thought you were gonna say. Is like when she was like, I need, I need a tutu. I was like, Gavin pulled it out of his private stash. Do you know what I mean? His private dad&#39;s nighttime stash. Gavin: 10:20 Okay, so that&#39;s yeah, you&#39;re right. That is not an earth-shattering hack, but it is important that down the line keep those costumes at the ready because all through middle school and high school, you gonna need them. You gonna need them. David: 10:31 Um, well, let&#39;s move on to our top three lists, shall we? Please. Gavin: 10:35 Oh, let&#39;s do that. Okay, so is this your week? Yes, this is my. I&#39;m very proud of this one. Okay. David, this week&#39;s topic is how what are the three ways you have actually basically had your gay card revoked? All right. I something we did not talk about is that I just climbed a mountain the other day uh in California. I was very lucky to um climb in Yosemite with friends of mine. And um it did make me laugh that I&#39;m sometimes referred to as the gayest straight man or the straightest gay man that they know. And yet, let me wave that rainbow flag uh uh loud and proud, because obviously gay dad and proud of it. So top three ways that I have had my gay card occasionally revoked by others. Number three, I never say bitch, sister, girl, or Mary. It&#39;s just not in my my vocabulary. And I know that makes me not very interesting. David: 11:25 No, it doesn&#39;t, no, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s just interesting because a bitch is bitch is a yeah, girl and and all that kind of stuff is a different kind kind of gay than we are, but like bitch, I yeah, it&#39;s a pretty common word. So that&#39;s interesting. Gavin: 11:36 I mean, I say bitch all the time, but I feel like I it has been I have been deprogrammed from ever using it. Um Because you say you you say bitch, you don&#39;t say bitch. Right, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Uh number two, who is Kylie Minogue? Wow. Who is she? Who is Kylie Minogue? I have no I can&#39;t name a single song of hers. David: 11:56 I haven&#39;t when the Padon thing I just can&#39;t get you out of my head. Boy, you&#39;re loving is all I think about. She was like real hot in the early 2000s. Gavin: 12:07 Well, I was already 62 in the early 2000s, so and then finally, number one, I have been called out because I have never seen Mommy Dearest. David: 12:17 Oh, me neither. I don&#39;t know. Is that a thing? Oh, okay. No, it&#39;s a big no, but that is a big part of gay culture. Well, older gay culture. Um, but I absolutely, we we I&#39;m totally there with you. People refer to it a lot, and I know there&#39;s the wire hanger scene, but I I I don&#39;t know anything about that movie. Gavin: 12:32 What about you, my friend? David: 12:33 All right, so and number three, um I love line dancing. I when I was in college, I would go to like country line dance bars in the middle of the woods, straight bud light, miller light, honky tonks in the middle of the woods to go line dancing. I fucking love it. Gavin: 12:57 Did you have a little extra body roll and hip roll in your line dancing? David: 13:00 I was so proud of the faggot who got let into the straight space because I was not of in the college, you&#39;re just so unabashedly yourself. I was just, oh yeah, no, I it was very clear who I was because every once in a while they&#39;d play, they had another uh section where they play pop music. And what Brittany would come on, I would race in there screaming. Like it was very obvious who I was. Um, and number two for me, I think Lady Gaga is just okay. Do you know what I mean? Like, I respect her, I think she&#39;s a good artist, I think she does a lot for the gay community. I I think I think she&#39;s okay. I think she&#39;s just okay. Yeah. Um, and number one, the number one reason that my gay car has been or was revoked, um, I have used many times, unironically, a flobe to cut my hair. And I don&#39;t, I&#39;m not proud to admit that, but it is something I wanted to say. And unironically. Unironically, I used a floby to cut my hair for multiple years. Uh, a roommate of mine, a straight roommate of mine, bought one and I used it and I said this is very convenient. So that is my top three uh reasons my gay card was revoked. Fantastic. What is next time? Next week, we are gonna jump on that TikTok trend, which I really, really love. And it is the top three unserious generational curses you are breaking. Okay, I&#39;m here for it. All right, so our guest this week is one of my personal favorite internet moms that have definitely come across...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[Fare thee well, Felicia, David went to the Renaissance Fair this weekend and is gushing, Gavin gives us his parenting hack of the week, we reveal the top 3 reasons our gay cards were revoked, and are joined by TikTok and Instagram star Ceci Kane who talks to us about her Mom group comedy, how she deals with internet trolls, and why she thinks social media is merely a highlight reel.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re not perfect and those people are crazy and we&#39;re just normal people getting by. But what do you think? There are those perfectly manicured out um uh outlets. David: 0:13 It&#39;s like watching a newborn fawn learn to walk. Do you know what I mean? The shaky legs. It&#39;s adorable. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s So, Gavin, this weekend I went to the New York Renaissance Fair. unknown: 0:41 Who? Gavin: 0:41 Wait. That&#39;s an entire subculture I know nothing about. Are you in that subculture? David: 0:48 I am not. I am merely a visitor. I&#39;m merely a peasant in this world of kings and queens. Um I&#39;m I&#39;m it makes me feel better that you are. Gavin: 0:56 And for all of those kings and queens who are out there listening to us, particularly the queens, no offense. Uh tell us, write us, tell us, give us a thumbs up on all of the um socials for our podcast, and then let us know that you need to be a guest on this show because I want to know about Renaissance. David: 1:12 Oh, yeah. Maybe find some like gay Renaissance dads who are really into the scene. So um They can be gay daddies or gay dads. Sorry, I&#39;ll shut up. You keep going. Yeah. Good luck with shutting up. Um, so I uh so I have a friend who lives so the the Renaissance Fair is uh uh in New York, um, just outside the city. And I have a friend that lives in the area, and so we will often go together. And so she was like, Hey, you want to go to the Renaissance Fair this week? And I was like, Oh, yeah, that&#39;ll be fun. And guess what? I have these two children. How fun would it be to bring these two children to the middle of the woods in upstate New York? Gavin: 1:49 Um, so they don&#39;t think it&#39;s weird yet, they just think it&#39;s cool. David: 1:53 So Well, yeah. Well, first of all, we don&#39;t ever go farther than like 10, 15 minutes in the car. This is an hour drive, which turned into two hours because you&#39;re in the middle of the woods and everybody is trying to park in the middle of the woods together at the same time. But that&#39;s not that&#39;s that&#39;s not the story I want to tell. I basically want to gush a little bit about the Renaissance Fair because I don&#39;t go often, I&#39;ve gone a couple times in the past years. And it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s fun. And I think what I forgot about it, which what reminded me this year, was that the Renaissance Fair is one of the last truly safe places for everyone to be. And I and I mean that in a lot of ways, because I feel like the your first thought when you think the Renaissance Fair is like nerds, like doing nerd stuff, which and turkey legs and also spending a lot of money, frankly. Gavin: 2:41 I just imagine I have literally disclaimer, never been to a Renaissance fair, but I just think of it as like nine million ways to part with your money that not all of them are not entirely as satisfying as you want them to be. But sure. David: 2:54 I mean, it&#39;s it&#39;s capitalism, right? But but what I love about it is like the culture of the Renaissance fair is this place, I think because it started with these people who love, you know, uh reenactments and or the Renaissance or whatever. Sure. So, so yes, there&#39;s the kind of quote unquote nerd culture, but because it is their realm, it is a place where like anybody, like we&#39;re talking diversity and age, uh, race, but also sexual orientation. Like it is, you see everyone there. And what I love about it is that the people who are the the kings and queens, literally and metaphorically, are the people who are on the ou]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[Fare thee well, Felicia, David went to the Renaissance Fair this weekend and is gushing, Gavin gives us his parenting hack of the week, we reveal the top 3 reasons our gay cards were revoked, and are joined by TikTok and Instagram star Ceci Kane who talks to us about her Mom group comedy, how she deals with internet trolls, and why she thinks social media is merely a highlight reel.  📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re not perfect and those people are crazy and we&#39;re just normal people getting by. But what do you think? There are those perfectly manicured out um uh outlets. David: 0:13 It&#39;s like watching a newborn fawn learn to walk. Do you know what I mean? The shaky legs. It&#39;s adorable. And this is Gatriarch&#39;s So, Gavin, this weekend I went to the New York Renaissance Fair. unknown: 0:41 Who? Gavin: 0:41 Wait. That&#39;s an entire subculture I know nothing about. Are you in that subculture? David: 0:48 I am not. I am merely a visitor. I&#39;m merely a peasant ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Benny Burnett-Smith aka Friend of Goofy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-benny-burnett-smith-aka-friend-of-goofy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 27 Sep 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets busted for throwing away his kids art projects, Gavin fills us in on the #LazyGirlJobs trend, and we are joined by a friend of Dorothy&apos;s but also a friend of Goofy&apos;s, Benny Burnett-Smith, who tells us tales of being a Disney costumed character. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah. I was literally like, what is it about my oh you you are you fucking gaslit me, bro? You gaslit me. Gavin: 0:09 And this is catriarchs. So I was listening to NPR the other day. As you do. Insert joke here. Insert dick joke here. Like, uh, what do a penis and a Rubik&#39;s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Gavin. I know. You&#39;re a monster. You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re an actual dad joke monster. I was listening to NPR the other day, and there was a woman who was being interviewed for having posted something called hashtag lazygirljobs. And it was a whole discussion of feminism and whatnot. But the main idea was that the woman was like, How do we have kind of a work hack for women that um don&#39;t make you completely burn out with everything that you do, give the right amount, but have a um have a life balance, right? And what really stuck with me was a uh a quotation she had at the end which said, work like you don&#39;t have kids and have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. I&#39;m gonna repeat that. Work like you don&#39;t have kids, and but you have to have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. And the whole idea was the unfair expectations being put on women to doing it all and having it all to fully commit to two things at the same time. And be the fucking best at both. And goddamn, don&#39;t you ever show any weakness or any fractures or any anything because you have to be a good one? Which is so unfair because like not everybody can be me. Do you know what I mean? Like, not everybody can be me. Not everybody can be you. And so for the rest of us who are not able to be you, it did, of course, make me think, and listen, I wasn&#39;t getting on a gay dad high horse of how dare you not include the gay dads, but it is very relatable that we have to work like we do. Well, yeah, I mean, I think society gives us a little more leeway in oh, you have kids too. And I don&#39;t think they always give that to women, honestly, which is totally unfair. But we we have to balance it all at the same time, too. So it basically comes down to straight men, you know. It it&#39;s uh they&#39;ve created a world that sucks for the rest of us, you know, in terms of work life and family life balance. David: 2:30 But it&#39;s also it we talked about this. I can&#39;t remember we talked about it last episode. I&#39;m very confused about what episode. We&#39;re on episode 32, girl. I know, 32, and it&#39;s definitely September 27th today. Um, no, no, but the the idea that like gay parents have to be perfect parents to even be considered to be legitimate parents, right? Because I was saying, oh no, I we were talking um to Ben last week. We were talking about him uh, you know, having he&#39;s like, I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m a great parent, I do this, and I do this, and it&#39;s like we have to do that, yeah, and then we still get shit, but we should be allowed to be shitty parents, like just like everybody else is allowed to be. Gavin: 3:03 Somebody else is allowed to be a shitty parent like me. So give everyone a break, women, men included. But it was I it&#39;s the patriarchy, too, right? It&#39;s the patriarchy, which is why we&#39;re trying to create the gatriarchy, which is why we are here with gatriarchs. David: 3:17 Wait, so well, I I am not actually the perfect parent, Gavin. If if you can believe that. What? If you can believe that, I know it&#39;s very shocking. Um, and I have an example. Would you like to hear it? Please. So you know, or you remember that when you have a child in either daycare, I imagine this happens in earlier grades too. There&#39;s a lot of art projects, and those art projects come home. Yeah, right? They come home. So your parents, your teachers maybe once a week, will send all the things, whatever. And they&#39;re almost all stupid. They&#39;re almost all like, oh, look, your daughter colored a star on this cr on this paper. I&#39;m like, okay. And they&#39;re like, don&#39;t you want it? And so we have we have some hanging up, right? And then we have our grandma pile, which is stuff that we think she would love that we don&#39;t want in our house anymore. And then, of course, we have the circular file of the trash. Yeah. Well, we throw almost everything away. Almost everything away. You are almost like I know. So the teachers of my son&#39;s class, it was his last show and tell before he moved to pre-K4. And the big show and tell was gonna be bring back your favorite craft of the year. And my husband and I looked at each other and we went, oh no. Gavin: 4:27 Oh shit. We throw all of them away. Do you document them in any way, or you&#39;re just heartless, unsentimental monsters? Okay. David: 4:36 No, we we we we will keep like there&#39;s like five on our fridge right now that we think are really great or really unique or really cool. But you know, most of them are just like, look, they glued this paper to this paper. I&#39;m like, what is that? Like, that&#39;s not significant. Or if there&#39;s something that like is really cute that says, like, we love you, happy Father&#39;s Day, or I love my grandma, we&#39;ll give, you know, appropriately. But most of the stuff that comes home is fucking garbage. So we were like, oh no, we can&#39;t tell our teachers that somehow one of his stupid projects had been left on this like clipboard we have. And we were like, hey, Emmett, isn&#39;t that your favorite project? And he was like, Yeah, we&#39;re like, great, this is your show until this week. So I totally got busted for throwing all my kids&#39; stuff away. Gavin: 5:18 Wow. I mean, I don&#39;t want to say I&#39;m a hoarder, but I can see behind you right now that you have lots of artwork on it. I know, and it&#39;s what&#39;s what&#39;s ridiculous is this is all old shit too, because my kids are older now. They don&#39;t bring artwork home anymore. Or their artwork isn&#39;t cute and shitty. It&#39;s just shitty now. Like, wow. David: 5:42 So do I need to like pull from your like the future of being sad that they don&#39;t come home with twigs glued to a piece of pink paper? Gavin: 5:49 Hey, I think that we need another musical cue in our Gatriarch&#39;s uh library, which would be the cue, the just you wait. David: 5:57 The Gavin Lodge is just you wait. Just you wait, yeah. Okay. Gavin: 6:00 Just you wait. David: 6:01 We&#39;ll work on that. Gavin: 6:02 David FM, just you wait. Anyway, it&#39;s um they don&#39;t bring all home um artwork anymore. And frankly, isn&#39;t artwork like the least our kids can do to pay their way in this world? David: 6:15 They we can I expect them to be famous at some point. Because I want a boat. Dad wants a boat, and he can&#39;t afford a boat, yeah. So he&#39;s having many kids and hoping one of them will get famous and buy me a boat. Gavin: 6:27 We are a house of Swifties, you might recall. And my daughter knows every lyric to every single song, and she sings tremendously, but she absolutely refuses to take piano lessons or guitar lessons. And I&#39;m like, girl, you need to go out and be some Taylor Swift for me so that I can afford a boat someday. I anyway, you know great parents. Speaking of being uh great parents or not being great parents, I swore to myself I was never gonna be that family eating dinner at like 4:30 and five o&#39;clock. Like I imagine people in what I look down upon as regions of the country that I think are boring, which is terrible. Everybody in North Dakota and Minnesota, we love you the most. Please like and like and subscribe and tell your all of your friends in North Dakota and Minnesota about it. But I wasn&#39;t gonna be that guy. I wasn&#39;t gonna eat early, I wasn&#39;t gonna have sports six days a week, I wasn&#39;t gonna collapse in front of the television and then just rinse and repeat every single day. But now that school has started again, uh our soccer either starts at like 5.15 or 6 every single day of the week, which means we have to excuse me, they go in tandem. So we have one at five and one at 6:30 or something like that. Point being, two days a week, we have to eat dinner at like 4:45. Otherwise, the kids don&#39;t have any food, right? Gavin, that&#39;s called lunch. You&#39;re talking about lunch. And then all we do is fucking sports, and my partner and I are like, oh my god, sports. Why the emphasis on sports? Why are we just sports Ubers? And then we literally collapse on the TV. I fall asleep within minutes of anything happening, and I am now that guy. I didn&#39;t want to be that guy, but I&#39;m that guy. David: 8:20 I well, but listen, parenting changes you. I I I am a sleeper, I need my sleep. Uh, I I need eight hours just to maintain this fucking goblin face that I have. And so I am now choosing to get up at, as I told you, 5:15. 5:30 every day because it is the only time of day where I am alone and I&#39;m not exhausted. Because when the kids go to bed, it&#39;s like 8:30, 8:45, and I&#39;m asleep at 9.15. So, like that that half hour window is not enough for me to watch shows or or do do anything interesting. So I&#39;ve I&#39;ve become that guy, the guy I swore I&#39;d never be, which is somebody who gets up when it&#39;s still pitch black outside and goes for a walk and does the dishes and do all this stuff. So, yeah, listen, parenting will change you. Gavin: 9:01 Ah, uh, it it really does. It really does. David: 9:04 And you know what won&#39;t change is our top three list. Gavin: 9:07 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:12 Love that music. So cute. Thank you, Gavin, and thank you, Gavin&#39;s husband. Um this is your no, this is my list this week. This is yours. Gavin: 9:19 Top three things that were fun as a kid but aren&#39;t as an adult. David: 9:23 Oh man. So I I don&#39;t know why, but I was so excited about this list. So for me. And number three, the Gravitron. Do you remember the Gravitron? unknown: 9:35 What? David: 9:36 The ride? The Gravitron at Fair&#39;s where it&#39;s like it looks like an it looks like a UFO and it just spins in a circle, and you lay on like the the red things and they slide up against the wall. Yes, I know exactly. And it presses you against the wall. When I was a kid, the Gravitron was the greatest fucking thing in the world. I love the Gravitron. So we have a state fair that comes to our hometown every year, and like three or four years ago, we went and there was the fucking Gravitron. I was like, I am getting on yes, Gravitron. I went on there and as it started to pick up speed, and everyone was being pressed against the wall, and everyone was like laughing and climbing up the wall. I literally was going, I can&#39;t breathe. I can&#39;t breathe. I can&#39;t breathe. I&#39;m too old for this shit. So, number three for me, Gravitron. I was a kid, not as an adult. All right. Uh number two, bubbles. Oh my god. Bubbles, a magical joy, right? When you&#39;re a kid. When you&#39;re an adult, bubbles equal sticky children and slippery floors. Yeah. And I hate them. Gavin: 10:35 That&#39;s hilarious. That is that is the most curmudgeonly get off my lawn. Oh, another cue, another sound cue we could use is a get off my corner. David: 10:43 Even get off my lawn corner or whatever. Yeah, totally. Um, and number one for me, the thing that was so fun as a kid, and as an adult, I dread weekends. Weekends are just this open prairie of what are we gonna do with these kids who don&#39;t want to be what wherever they are. Yeah. So um that&#39;s my uh that&#39;s my number one. What about you? Gavin: 11:04 That is hilarious. I I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna make my honor roll mention here that you just provoked in my mind as related to your number one is summer. And I feel so bad saying that. I feel like I&#39;m a such a loser by saying I hate summer, but it is all in the mindset. But I just think, oh God, it&#39;s just two months of utter chaos, more money, more balancing of like demands with from kids and me with work and whatnot. I just dread it. But then I&#39;m halfway through the summer, and then I&#39;m like, oh my God, where&#39;s the summer going? And so I need to change that mentality. David: 11:37 I wonder if the people who listen to this show, like the people who are parents, listen to us talking like this and they go, Yeah, I totally get it. And then you have the people who are maybe not parents who are going, David and Gavin just hate their kids. Why? They don&#39;t understand that that&#39;s what they&#39;re doing. Why did they do that? The connective tissue to all that is our obsession and our love of our children, but we just like to complain on the podcast because it&#39;s more interesting. Anyway, so okay, what are about you? Gavin: 12:00 Yeah, so number three for me, playing house. I loved playing imaginative, being doing imaginative work when I was a kid. I grew I grew up to be a fucking actor, right? I hate having imaginative play and playing house. And I I feel like I went through my time with that. My kids don&#39;t do it anymore, which of course I miss it. Just you wait. But I it for those years that my daughter just wanted to play house with me, it was I would find any reason not to do it. So hated that. Number two, crafts. I hate crafts. I hate glue, I hate glitter, glitter, I hate play-doh, I hate the clay, I hate it all. And it like this just makes me feel again, so curmudgeonly and like, oh, the magic of childhood, the wonder of childhood, the imagination. Well, apparently I don&#39;t have any wonder or imagination anymore, but I find it all died inside of you. It&#39;s just it is in that cavernous pit inside of me that is desperate to be filled. Wait, what? Anyway, and number one, God, I feel again, this is embarrassing to admit. Yeah. Ice cream. What I loved ice cream as a kid. And the older I get, the less satisfying it is. It just kind of makes me feel bloated. And I&#39;m like, it&#39;s just not really as fantastic as I always wanted to be. Now don&#39;t you judge me. Don&#39;t you shut me up? David: 13:29 I&#39;m actually heartbroken. I&#39;m heartbroken because the joy I have in that cold, cold, cold ice cream is unparalleled. And I&#39;m sorry that it doesn&#39;t exist for you anymore. Gavin: 13:39 Just give me a cocktail. David: 13:40 Yours is just at the bottom of a wine bottle. Gavin: 13:42 Cocktail. Just give me a cold cocktail over ice cream any day, which is sad to admit. Okay, let&#39;s talk about next week the three ways. I&#39;m gonna bring it back from a couple episodes ago, my um idea. Three ways you, David Eff and Bond, should have your gay card revoked. Uh, we have a new friend to the podcast. Benny Burnett Smith is a father of two and has had an intimate, long-term relationship with an entity that is near and dear to all Gatriarchs, adjacent and otherwise, and that is Disney. But he&#39;s so much more than just Disney and even a dad. Benny, welcome to Gatriarchs. Hi, Betty. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Happy to be here. So you&#39;re called a friend of Goofy, and I am curious as we jump in, what percentage of the friends of Goofy or Mickey or Donald or the Queen of Hearts or Tigger or otherwise are also friends of Dorothy? SPEAKER_00: 14:44 Oh, wow. Um, I would say 30, 40 percent. David: 14:49 Oh, oh, okay. Gavin: 14:50 Pretty high percentage. David: 14:52 So we should get some context here though. Like Benny, we&#39;re talking about like you were a costumed character at Disney, right? Yeah. Okay, because I&#39;m just thinking from the listener&#39;s point of view, they&#39;re like, what are we talking about? But so so you&#39;re saying...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets busted for throwing away his kids art projects, Gavin fills us in on the #LazyGirlJobs trend, and we are joined by a friend of Dorothy&apos;s but also a friend of Goofy&apos;s, Benny Burnett-Smith, who tells us tales of being a Disn]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets busted for throwing away his kids art projects, Gavin fills us in on the #LazyGirlJobs trend, and we are joined by a friend of Dorothy&apos;s but also a friend of Goofy&apos;s, Benny Burnett-Smith, who tells us tales of being a Disney costumed character. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah. I was literally like, what is it about my oh you you are you fucking gaslit me, bro? You gaslit me. Gavin: 0:09 And this is catriarchs. So I was listening to NPR the other day. As you do. Insert joke here. Insert dick joke here. Like, uh, what do a penis and a Rubik&#39;s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Gavin. I know. You&#39;re a monster. You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re an actual dad joke monster. I was listening to NPR the other day, and there was a woman who was being interviewed for having posted something called hashtag lazygirljobs. And it was a whole discussion of feminism and whatnot. But the main idea was that the woman was like, How do we have kind of a work hack for women that um don&#39;t make you completely burn out with everything that you do, give the right amount, but have a um have a life balance, right? And what really stuck with me was a uh a quotation she had at the end which said, work like you don&#39;t have kids and have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. I&#39;m gonna repeat that. Work like you don&#39;t have kids, and but you have to have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. And the whole idea was the unfair expectations being put on women to doing it all and having it all to fully commit to two things at the same time. And be the fucking best at both. And goddamn, don&#39;t you ever show any weakness or any fractures or any anything because you have to be a good one? Which is so unfair because like not everybody can be me. Do you know what I mean? Like, not everybody can be me. Not everybody can be you. And so for the rest of us who are not able to be you, it did, of course, make me think, and listen, I wasn&#39;t getting on a gay dad high horse of how dare you not include the gay dads, but it is very relatable that we have to work like we do. Well, yeah, I mean, I think society gives us a little more leeway in oh, you have kids too. And I don&#39;t think they always give that to women, honestly, which is totally unfair. But we we have to balance it all at the same time, too. So it basically comes down to straight men, you know. It it&#39;s uh they&#39;ve created a world that sucks for the rest of us, you know, in terms of work life and family life balance. David: 2:30 But it&#39;s also it we talked about this. I can&#39;t remember we talked about it last episode. I&#39;m very confused about what episode. We&#39;re on episode 32, girl. I know, 32, and it&#39;s definitely September 27th today. Um, no, no, but the the idea that like gay parents have to be perfect parents to even be considered to be legitimate parents, right? Because I was saying, oh no, I we were talking um to Ben last week. We were talking about him uh, you know, having he&#39;s like, I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m a great parent, I do this, and I do this, and it&#39;s like we have to do that, yeah, and then we still get shit, but we should be allowed to be shitty parents, like just like everybody else is allowed to be. Gavin: 3:03 Somebody else is allowed to be a shitty parent like me. So give everyone a break, women, men included. But it was I it&#39;s the patriarchy, too, right? It&#39;s the patriarchy, which is why we&#39;re trying to create the gatriarchy, which is why we are here with gatriarchs. David: 3:17 Wait, so well, I I am not actually the perfect parent, Gavin. If if you can believe that. What? If you can believe that, I know it&#39;s very shocking. Um, and I have an example. Would you like to hear it? Please. So you know, or you remember that when you have a child in either daycare, I imagine this happens in earlier grades too. There&#39;s a lot of art projects, and those art projects come home. Yeah, right? They come home. So your parents, your teachers maybe once a week, will send all the things, whatever. And they&#39;re almost all stupid. They&#39;re almost all like, oh, look, your daughter colored a star on this cr on this paper. I&#39;m like, okay. And they&#39;re like, don&#39;t you want it? And so we have we have some hanging up, right? And then we have our grandma pile, which is stuff that we think she would love that we don&#39;t want in our house anymore. And then, of course, we have the circular file of the trash. Yeah. Well, we throw almost everything away. Almost everything away. You are almost like I know. So the teachers of my son&#39;s class, it was his last show and tell before he moved to pre-K4. And the big show and tell was gonna be bring back your favorite craft of the year. And my husband and I looked at each other and we went, oh no. Gavin: 4:27 Oh shit. We throw all of them away. Do you document them in any way, or you&#39;re just heartless, unsentimental monsters? Okay. David: 4:36 No, we we we we will keep like there&#39;s like five on our fridge right now that we think are really great or really unique or really cool. But you know, most of them are just like, look, they glued this paper to this paper. I&#39;m like, what is that? Like, that&#39;s not significant. Or if there&#39;s something that like is really cute that says, like, we love you, happy Father&#39;s Day, or I love my grandma, we&#39;ll give, you know, appropriately. But most of the stuff that comes home is fucking garbage. So we were like, oh no, we can&#39;t tell our teachers that somehow one of his stupid projects had been left on this like clipboard we have. And we were like, hey, Emmett, isn&#39;t that your favorite project? And he was like, Yeah, we&#39;re like, great, this is your show until this week. So I totally got busted for throwing all my kids&#39; stuff away. Gavin: 5:18 Wow. I mean, I don&#39;t want to say I&#39;m a hoarder, but I can see behind you right now that you have lots of artwork on it. I know, and it&#39;s what&#39;s what&#39;s ridiculous is this is all old shit too, because my kids are older now. They don&#39;t bring artwork home anymore. Or their artwork isn&#39;t cute and shitty. It&#39;s just shitty now. Like, wow. David: 5:42 So do I need to like pull from your like the future of being sad that they don&#39;t come home with twigs glued to a piece of pink paper? Gavin: 5:49 Hey, I think that we need another musical cue in our Gatriarch&#39;s uh library, which would be the cue, the just you wait. David: 5:57 The Gavin Lodge is just you wait. Just you wait, yeah. Okay. Gavin: 6:00 Just you wait. David: 6:01 We&#39;ll work on that. Gavin: 6:02 David FM, just you wait. Anyway, it&#39;s um they don&#39;t bring all home um artwork anymore. And frankly, isn&#39;t artwork like the least our kids can do to pay their way in this world? David: 6:15 They we can I expect them to be famous at some point. Because I want a boat. Dad wants a boat, and he can&#39;t afford a boat, yeah. So he&#39;s having many kids and hoping one of them will get famous and buy me a boat. Gavin: 6:27 We are a house of Swifties, you might recall. And my daughter knows every lyric to every single song, and she sings tremendously, but she absolutely refuses to take piano lessons or guitar lessons. And I&#39;m like, girl, you need to go out and be some Taylor Swift for me so that I can afford a boat someday. I anyway, you know great parents. Speaking of being uh great parents or not being great parents, I swore to myself I was never gonna be that family eating dinner at like 4:30 and five o&#39;clock. Like I imagine people in what I look down upon as regions of the country that I think are boring, which is terrible. Everybody in North Dakota and Minnesota, we love you the most. Please like and like and subscribe and tell your all of your friends in North Dakota and Minnesota about it. But I wasn&#39;t gonna be that guy. I wasn&#39;t gonna eat early, I wasn&#39;t gonna have sports six days a week, I wasn&#39;t gonna collapse in front of the television and then just rinse and repeat every single day. But now that school has started again, uh our soccer either starts at like 5.15 or 6 every single day of the week, which means we have to excuse me, they go in tandem. So we have one at five and one at 6:30 or something like that. Point being, two days a week, we have to eat dinner at like 4:45. Otherwise, the kids don&#39;t have any food, right? Gavin, that&#39;s called lunch. You&#39;re talking about lunch. And then all we do is fucking sports, and my partner and I are like, oh my god, sports. Why the emphasis on sports? Why are we just sports Ubers? And then we literally collapse on the TV. I fall asleep within minutes of anything happening, and I am now that guy. I didn&#39;t want to be that guy, but I&#39;m that guy. David: 8:20 I well, but listen, parenting changes you. I I I am a sleeper, I need my sleep. Uh, I I need eight hours just to maintain this fucking goblin face that I have. And so I am now choosing to get up at, as I told you, 5:15. 5:30 every day because it is the only time of day where I am alone and I&#39;m not exhausted. Because when the kids go to bed, it&#39;s like 8:30, 8:45, and I&#39;m asleep at 9.15. So, like that that half hour window is not enough for me to watch shows or or do do anything interesting. So I&#39;ve I&#39;ve become that guy, the guy I swore I&#39;d never be, which is somebody who gets up when it&#39;s still pitch black outside and goes for a walk and does the dishes and do all this stuff. So, yeah, listen, parenting will change you. Gavin: 9:01 Ah, uh, it it really does. It really does. David: 9:04 And you know what won&#39;t change is our top three list. Gavin: 9:07 Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one. David: 9:12 Love that music. So cute. Thank you, Gavin, and thank you, Gavin&#39;s husband. Um this is your no, this is my list this week. This is yours. Gavin: 9:19 Top three things that were fun as a kid but aren&#39;t as an adult. David: 9:23 Oh man. So I I don&#39;t know why, but I was so excited about this list. So for me. And number three, the Gravitron. Do you remember the Gravitron? unknown: 9:35 What? David: 9:36 The ride? The Gravitron at Fair&#39;s where it&#39;s like it looks like an it looks like a UFO and it just spins in a circle, and you lay on like the the red things and they slide up against the wall. Yes, I know exactly. And it presses you against the wall. When I was a kid, the Gravitron was the greatest fucking thing in the world. I love the Gravitron. So we have a state fair that comes to our hometown every year, and like three or four years ago, we went and there was the fucking Gravitron. I was like, I am getting on yes, Gravitron. I went on there and as it started to pick up speed, and everyone was being pressed against the wall, and everyone was like laughing and climbing up the wall. I literally was going, I can&#39;t breathe. I can&#39;t breathe. I can&#39;t breathe. I&#39;m too old for this shit. So, number three for me, Gravitron. I was a kid, not as an adult. All right. Uh number two, bubbles. Oh my god. Bubbles, a magical joy, right? When you&#39;re a kid. When you&#39;re an adult, bubbles equal sticky children and slippery floors. Yeah. And I hate them. Gavin: 10:35 That&#39;s hilarious. That is that is the most curmudgeonly get off my lawn. Oh, another cue, another sound cue we could use is a get off my corner. David: 10:43 Even get off my lawn corner or whatever. Yeah, totally. Um, and number one for me, the thing that was so fun as a kid, and as an adult, I dread weekends. Weekends are just this open prairie of what are we gonna do with these kids who don&#39;t want to be what wherever they are. Yeah. So um that&#39;s my uh that&#39;s my number one. What about you? Gavin: 11:04 That is hilarious. I I&#39;m I&#39;m gonna make my honor roll mention here that you just provoked in my mind as related to your number one is summer. And I feel so bad saying that. I feel like I&#39;m a such a loser by saying I hate summer, but it is all in the mindset. But I just think, oh God, it&#39;s just two months of utter chaos, more money, more balancing of like demands with from kids and me with work and whatnot. I just dread it. But then I&#39;m halfway through the summer, and then I&#39;m like, oh my God, where&#39;s the summer going? And so I need to change that mentality. David: 11:37 I wonder if the people who listen to this show, like the people who are parents, listen to us talking like this and they go, Yeah, I totally get it. And then you have the people who are maybe not parents who are going, David and Gavin just hate their kids. Why? They don&#39;t understand that that&#39;s what they&#39;re doing. Why did they do that? The connective tissue to all that is our obsession and our love of our children, but we just like to complain on the podcast because it&#39;s more interesting. Anyway, so okay, what are about you? Gavin: 12:00 Yeah, so number three for me, playing house. I loved playing imaginative, being doing imaginative work when I was a kid. I grew I grew up to be a fucking actor, right? I hate having imaginative play and playing house. And I I feel like I went through my time with that. My kids don&#39;t do it anymore, which of course I miss it. Just you wait. But I it for those years that my daughter just wanted to play house with me, it was I would find any reason not to do it. So hated that. Number two, crafts. I hate crafts. I hate glue, I hate glitter, glitter, I hate play-doh, I hate the clay, I hate it all. And it like this just makes me feel again, so curmudgeonly and like, oh, the magic of childhood, the wonder of childhood, the imagination. Well, apparently I don&#39;t have any wonder or imagination anymore, but I find it all died inside of you. It&#39;s just it is in that cavernous pit inside of me that is desperate to be filled. Wait, what? Anyway, and number one, God, I feel again, this is embarrassing to admit. Yeah. Ice cream. What I loved ice cream as a kid. And the older I get, the less satisfying it is. It just kind of makes me feel bloated. And I&#39;m like, it&#39;s just not really as fantastic as I always wanted to be. Now don&#39;t you judge me. Don&#39;t you shut me up? David: 13:29 I&#39;m actually heartbroken. I&#39;m heartbroken because the joy I have in that cold, cold, cold ice cream is unparalleled. And I&#39;m sorry that it doesn&#39;t exist for you anymore. Gavin: 13:39 Just give me a cocktail. David: 13:40 Yours is just at the bottom of a wine bottle. Gavin: 13:42 Cocktail. Just give me a cold cocktail over ice cream any day, which is sad to admit. Okay, let&#39;s talk about next week the three ways. I&#39;m gonna bring it back from a couple episodes ago, my um idea. Three ways you, David Eff and Bond, should have your gay card revoked. Uh, we have a new friend to the podcast. Benny Burnett Smith is a father of two and has had an intimate, long-term relationship with an entity that is near and dear to all Gatriarchs, adjacent and otherwise, and that is Disney. But he&#39;s so much more than just Disney and even a dad. Benny, welcome to Gatriarchs. Hi, Betty. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Happy to be here. So you&#39;re called a friend of Goofy, and I am curious as we jump in, what percentage of the friends of Goofy or Mickey or Donald or the Queen of Hearts or Tigger or otherwise are also friends of Dorothy? SPEAKER_00: 14:44 Oh, wow. Um, I would say 30, 40 percent. David: 14:49 Oh, oh, okay. Gavin: 14:50 Pretty high percentage. David: 14:52 So we should get some context here though. Like Benny, we&#39;re talking about like you were a costumed character at Disney, right? Yeah. Okay, because I&#39;m just thinking from the listener&#39;s point of view, they&#39;re like, what are we talking about? But so so you&#39;re saying...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets busted for throwing away his kids art projects, Gavin fills us in on the #LazyGirlJobs trend, and we are joined by a friend of Dorothy&apos;s but also a friend of Goofy&apos;s, Benny Burnett-Smith, who tells us tales of being a Disney costumed character. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah. I was literally like, what is it about my oh you you are you fucking gaslit me, bro? You gaslit me. Gavin: 0:09 And this is catriarchs. So I was listening to NPR the other day. As you do. Insert joke here. Insert dick joke here. Like, uh, what do a penis and a Rubik&#39;s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Gavin. I know. You&#39;re a monster. You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re an actual dad joke monster. I was listening to NPR the other day, and there was a woman who was being interviewed for having posted something called hashtag lazygirljobs. And it was a whole discussion of feminism and whatnot. But the main idea was that the woman was like, How do we have kind of a work hack for women that um don&#39;t make you completely burn out with everything that you do, give the right amount, but have a um have a life balance, right? And what really stuck with me was a uh a quotation she had at the end which said, work like you don&#39;t have kids and have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. I&#39;m gonna repeat that. Work like you don&#39;t have kids, and but you have to have kids like you don&#39;t have a job. And the whole idea was the unfair expectations being put on women to doing it all and having it all to fully commit to two things at the same time. And be the fucking best at both. And goddamn, don&#39;t you ever show any weakness or any fractures or any anything because you have to be a good one? Which is so unfair because like not everybody can be me. Do you know what I mean? Like, not everybody can be me. Not everybody can be you. And so for the rest of us who are not able to be you, it did, of course, make me think, and listen, I wasn&#39;t getting on a gay dad high horse of how dare you not include the gay dads, but it is very relatable that we have to work like we do. Well, yeah, I mean, I think society gives us a little more leeway in oh, you have kids too. And I don&#39;t think they always give that to women, honestly, which is totally unfair. But we we have to balance it all at the same time, too. So it basically comes down to straight men, you know. It it&#39;s uh they&#39;ve created a world that sucks for the rest of us, you know, in terms of work life and family life balance. David: 2:30 But it&#39;s also it we talked about this. I can&#39;t remember we talked about it last episode. I&#39;m very confused about what episode. We&#39;re on episode 32, girl. I know, 32, and it&#39;s definitely September 27th today. Um, no, no, but the the idea that like gay parents have to be perfect parents to even be considered to be legitimate parents, right? Because I was saying, oh no, I we were talking um to Ben last week. We were talking about him uh, you know, having he&#39;s like, I&#39;m you know, I&#39;m a great parent, I do this, and I do this, and it&#39;s like we have to do that, yeah, and then we still get shit, but we should be allowed to be shitty parents, like just like everybody else is allowed to be. Gavin: 3:03 Somebody else is allowed to be a shitty parent like me. So give everyone a break, women, men included. But it was I it&#39;s the patriarchy, too, right? It&#39;s the patriarchy, which is why we&#39;re trying to create the gatriarchy, which is why we are here with gatriarchs. David: 3:17 Wait, so well, I I am not actually the perfect parent, Gavin. If if you can believe that. What? If you can believe that, I know it&#39;s very shocking. Um, and I have an example. Would you like to hear it? Please. So you know, or you remember that when you have a child in either daycare, I imagine this happens in earlier grades too. There&#39;s a lot of art projects, and those art proj]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets busted for throwing away his kids art projects, Gavin fills us in on the #LazyGirlJobs trend, and we are joined by a friend of Dorothy&apos;s but also a friend of Goofy&apos;s, Benny Burnett-Smith, who tells us tales of being a Disney costumed character. 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah. I was literally like, what is it about my oh you you are you fucking gaslit me, bro? You gaslit me. Gavin: 0:09 And this is catriarchs. So I was listening to NPR the other day. As you do. Insert joke here. Insert dick joke here. Like, uh, what do a penis and a Rubik&#39;s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Gavin. I know. You&#39;re a monster. You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re an actual dad joke monster. I was listening to NPR the other day, and there was a woman who was being interviewed for having posted something called hashtag lazygirljobs. And it was a whole discussion of feminism and whatnot. But the main idea was that the woman was like, H]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner aka @EquityBen</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-ben-ptashinsky-skinner-aka-equityben/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 20 Sep 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin founds out how anal David is, we rank the top 3 hacks for a successful kids party, and we are joined by fellow Thespian and Orlando&apos;s 3rd best comic, Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner, who tells us the story of why he almost had to show up to the birth of his first kid in a wig and dress. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Number one overarching, and I hope you&#39;re gonna agree with me. I this is the number 0.5 or whatever it is, the the king uh topping point of. David: 0:10 You&#39;re doing really good, babe. Keep going. Really proud of you. And this is Gatriarchs. So do you want to know how anal I am? Not that kind of anal. Gavin: 0:33 I am even fucking I&#39;m rendered speechless. Um yes, of course. David: 0:41 I want to know how anal you are, David. So at daycare, sorry to clear your buzz, but it is a daycare thing. So you know how daycare, by the way, happy waffle day. Did you know it&#39;s an international waffle day? Gavin: 0:52 International waffle day. David: 0:53 No fucking joke. This TikTok bulletin. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Nobody needs an international waffle day. Come on. There are no, especially my kid who&#39;s posting photos of him at daycare with chocolate sauce all over his waffle. I was anyway. So, long story short, is every five minutes when there&#39;s a party at school, they put a sign-up sheet for the parents to basically bring chips, bring whatever. What do we pay teachers for? So Jesus. I mean, whatever. So I usually will sign up for the mac and cheese because I make it homemade with like a homemade bechamel sauce. Oh fucking. Gavin: 1:25 Wait, with a homemade. Tell me you&#39;re gay without telling me you&#39;re gay. Can we put these in our non-existent show show notes? David: 1:33 Your recipe for your your Zoe, your Zoe De Chanel uh mac and cheese. You know what my secret ingredient is? Yeah. No. I mean, please tell. What? Yellow mustard. A tablespoon of yellow mustard. It has like a acidic quality, also has that nice yellow. Anyway, so I go to the signup sheet for both of these classes because I have two kids in daycare, and all the good stuff is taken. The only thing left over is plates and napkins. I&#39;m I&#39;m so I&#39;m so annoyed. Gavin: 2:02 I&#39;m so sad to admit that that&#39;s what I go for because the idea of having to bake, first of all, it takes prior planning, and I&#39;m not always great at that. I&#39;m almost fucking last minute and all the shit. But it&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to have to make a tray of something and then have to think like, how am I gonna dish this out? They&#39;re not gonna appreciate it anyway, because these kids just want fucking suckers. So come on. And um, I don&#39;t make Zoe Deschanel uh mac and cheese. So anyway. David: 2:32 So I so I have to buy plates and napkins. So one of the parties is the waffle day party, which again, not a fucking day. And then the other party is the summer blowout party. Well, I go to the dollar store, right? So I get the tablecloths, napkins, and plates. And I&#39;m so gay. Um summer is like summer colors, summer themes, everything, right? The waffle day, I get yellows and browns on like syrup colors, buttercolors. I like to have a whole fucking thing. But put them both in the same bag. I get to school and I realize I don&#39;t trust these fucking teachers to know which is for which day. They&#39;re just gonna throw whatever on the table. Yeah. So I grab a marker and I write down to each thing, this is for the summer party. This is for the waffle party. And you know what? Those pictures came in yesterday, and those waffle, those waffle tables looked real cute. They looked like little waffles with little pads of butter on them. So you&#39;re fucking welcome. But that&#39;s how anal I am is I had to tell them which tablecloth is for which party. Gavin: 3:25 I mean, it does it when you have a vision for something, I can relate where I just think I just assume people are gonna have the same sensibility that I will. And I&#39;m not aesthetic things don&#39;t keep me up at night, but uh come on, there&#39;s a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. And let&#39;s face it, our kids are always gonna screw it up because they have no sense of aestheticism, not asceticism, but aesthetics, whatever. Anti-Semitism. Let&#39;s I think they&#39;re inherently anti- Oh god, that&#39;s not what I meant. Anyway, uh, but I people do need some instructions to um to fulfill your vision. And I&#39;m glad that you&#39;re gonna be able to do that. David: 4:05 Listen, if we&#39;re gonna be the gay dads at school, oh yeah, like we gotta keep it up a little bit. Yeah, we gotta do that. 100%. Gavin: 4:12 And it&#39;s pathetic that I always just go for the plates and napkins because I actually think to myself, uh honestly, sometimes I&#39;m like, oh great, the gay dad&#39;s gonna have to deliver some over-the-top thing. And I&#39;m like, you know what? Let me just lower your expectations. The gays are just as lame as the straights, as David loves to point out. Yeah. David: 4:28 And so I just bring in basically just as disgusting, just as poor, stupid, just as untrustworthy. Gavin: 4:34 Yeah, absolutely. We&#39;re not all a bunch of Martha Stewart wannabes, that&#39;s for sure. David: 4:39 I do have a really fucking killer brown butter chocolate chip cookie recipe that I finally feel like I&#39;ve perfected. I&#39;ll put that in the show notes too. Uh, there are no show notes. Gavin: 4:49 Let&#39;s let&#39;s move it to something more celebratory and gay, which has to do with pickles. I love pickles. What do you uh and when you think of pickles, what do you think of? Do you think of their shape or their flavor? David: 5:02 I think of the flavor. I think of like the snap, the coldness. I think of like obviously the vinegar, sugar, like you know, the pickling of a cucumber, but like something about the I&#39;m a salt, I love salt, so the saltiness, the cold, the snap, I love it. Gavin: 5:15 Well, okay, so aside from the phallic symbols that I was expecting you to um be so base about. Uh are you aware of pickle-flavored cupcakes? Pickle-flavored cupcakes. No. So salty cupcakes with potentially a crunchy, pickly, like chopped, diced pickles on the inside, because of course cupcakes can&#39;t just be cupcakes anymore. They have to be an entire Broadway show, right? So it&#39;s like a Yeah, hold on, hold on. I could get the recipe for you. Um, and um, and then with uh a savory frosting on top, along with potato chips, either crushed. David: 5:53 So they&#39;re not really cupcakes, they&#39;re savory cupcakes, they&#39;re like muffins that look like cupcakes. They are right, they&#39;re like cornbread with like pickles in it. I mean, so it looks like a yeah, okay. Well, I heard about the I was not sweet. Gavin: 6:07 I no, no, no, no. I heard well, I you know what? I mean, listen, I didn&#39;t get do a deep dive into the cupcake recipes. I just heard about it on the news this morning, on the what radio, because I&#39;m what yes, it&#39;s 1937. And you&#39;re welcome. I needed to jump into your grandophone, you put your little ear to the like so um pickle cupcakes, they&#39;re a thing. And when you Google them, there are lots. I mean, there&#39;s a I&#39;m looking at a recipe right now, best pickle cupcake recipe, because of course everything that you Google is the best on dlish.com. It&#39;s from 2017. I&#39;m like, this didn&#39;t just happen, but somebody&#39;s doing really good branding about it right now with um with a potato chip on top and whatnot. But then it made me think like, can you imagine like pickle cupcakes? I mean, that is a drag queen name, if I have ever heard of one. Pickle cupcakes. I mean, it&#39;s really good. Just a little bit of salty and a little bit of sweet, you know? David: 7:01 Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s also, yeah, no, that&#39;s what that&#39;s really good. I I would kind of want to make these now. Yeah. They sound delicious. Like the, but they&#39;re not cupcakes. That&#39;s what&#39;s so like trendy about it. It&#39;s like, let&#39;s call it bubble cupcakes. It&#39;s not cupcakes, it&#39;s bread with pickles in it. Like, I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re like in a mayonnaise frosting. And a mayonnaise frosting. Absolutely. Gavin: 7:18 But how do you make a mayonnaise frosting with just the right amount of like firmness on the outside so that it there&#39;s like so you pierce it? Would you make a sandwich out of this pickle cupcake? I think you use it. Always. You know, you know that&#39;s my thing. I always have it. I don&#39;t understand why you want to do that. I mean, again because I&#39;m 43, Gaben. I&#39;m not 11. A cupcake is a vessel to your mouth for frosting. So yeah, I don&#39;t want to squish anything down. I would rather take the bottom half of the cupcake, throw it away, and just eat the frosting on top. David: 7:49 So you want the ratio of frosting to cupcake to be a little more even or more frosting. Yeah, four to one. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. Way more. Well, I know it&#39;s three to one. Our top three list. Let&#39;s move to three to three. Gavin: 8:00 Is that a good transition? Have a good segue. I mean. I&#39;m so proud of you. That was fantastic. Let&#39;s move to the top three lists. Yes, it is. So this week, this week&#39;s top three list is I wanted to hear. I mean, gosh, I don&#39;t think that our top three need list needs to always be top three recommendations for something. It&#39;s but anyway, it&#39;s that&#39;s what it is this week, which is top three suggestions for uh successful birthday parties. So for me, number three is start on time. I&#39;m late to everything, I&#39;m sure that shocks you. You were late to this recording. I&#39;m fuck off. I told you it was gonna be a good one. Three minutes later. No, we started 4 13, not 4 10. Okay, sorry. True, guilty as charged. Yes, start on time because no birthday party needs to go more than two hours. Tops, frankly, 90 minutes. Those kids are so oversaturated anyway, get them in and out. So start on time. Number two, cake within 45 minutes. You get them in, you get them fed, you get them sugared up, you let them run it off. Because everybody just every child just showed up for the cake anyway. So get that cake in and out of them, let them run it off, and then bye-bye. David: 9:14 I like that one because every because if the cake is too late, then they eat cake and then they&#39;re just expected to get in the car. And yeah, no, that&#39;s good. Gavin: 9:20 It&#39;s just like move it along and then let it just devolve into a play date, because that&#39;s all it is, anyway. Come on. Yeah. And then number one is I mean, sorry, just booze. If you and I don&#39;t mean to sound like such an alcoholic, but if the if we are hosting birthday parties with the parents, you better let those parents enjoy themselves. And uh, and if this is not a babysat play date, it if the parents are there, give them something to drink. I uh my apologies to those who are in recovery. But the rest of us need to be able to have a drink. What about really insensitive, Gavin? David: 9:53 I well really insensitive of you. Gavin: 9:55 You know? David: 9:57 Um, so my top three secrets are uh a little less specific, a little broader, but I still think they&#39;re gonna be helpful for people throwing now. Again, my point of view on parties is for like toddlers. So that&#39;s where all of this is um coming from. Uh so number three for me, aim low. Do not think that you&#39;re gonna curate this magical experience for anybody showing up. It is not that. Every adult who gets that imitation rolls their eyes. Did I say another fucking party this week? Yep. That is what they&#39;re feeling. So aim low. If it&#39;s just cupcakes in the park, that is enough. So number three, aim low. Number two, similar to what you said, always consider the parents. The parents are there too. The parents are just as miserable as you are. So if that means getting them food too, if it&#39;s like pizza for the kids and ice cream, do the parents have pizza? You have to feed them. Yeah, Gabin, you&#39;re thinking about alcohol, I&#39;m thinking about pizza. Yes, right on right on track. This all tracks. Yeah. So something for the parents. And number one, again, very toddler friendly, to me, is to split the like share the birthday with another kid in your class, or slash, throw your party at the daycare. Because all of your kids are gonna go to the same friend&#39;s birthday parties, they&#39;re gonna do the same, it&#39;s just gonna be a cycle of garbage. So if you and you know, uh, you know, Jimmy have a birthday within two weeks of each other, do a co-birthday. Because if you go to one of these places, you&#39;re splitting the cost. 100%. It&#39;s the same fucking kids there. Yeah, and you get to split all the costs. So that&#39;s my number one. Gavin: 11:32 I&#39;m gonna okay, so and one more thing, David. I&#39;m gonna top you here on this, okay? Oh, finally. Is that first and foremost, this wasn&#39;t an afterthought. This was uh I need to have the final word here. Can we stop the insanity with fucking goodie bags? Stop. Can we please start a movement? I if if this podcast exists for nothing else except show up expecting gifts. David: 11:55 Yes, not even just a bag, a wrapped gift. Gavin: 11:58 This is a social movement that I want to that I want to foster here. Enough of the goodie bags. It&#39;s this is my aim low. David: 12:05 Aim low. Gavin: 12:06 It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s nonsense, it&#39;s trash, nobody needs to. David: 12:10 And we all do the same shit. We all go to the dollar store, we all get shitty play-doh. And we all bitch about it. Yep, we all bitch that it&#39;s you&#39;re coming home with us and we go right in the garbage. Gavin: 12:18 Yep, yep. So number that that&#39;s the number, that&#39;s the king daddy topper. There you go. David: 12:23 All right, so next week, our list. Now, similar to an old list, but it&#39;s different. Okay. The top three things that are so fun as a kid, but not fun as an adult. So our next guest is a comedian. He&#39;s an author, he&#39;s a viral cook and Orlando&#39;s most famous gay-at-home dad. We&#39;ll see about that. Uh, please welcome to the show, Ben Toshinski Skinny. Here he is. Did I say this? Hi, hi. That was perfect. I&#39;m blown away. Before I&#39;m very proud. Before we started recording, we were talking about the Holocaust and Big Dick. So I think we&#39;re really And also how to pronounce Petoshinski. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Not that definitely not that, though. Definitely not like that. Were you the one that just came from the dentist, or was it your dog? Gavin: 13:06 Wow. Wow. I mean, I wanted to exaggerate, but anyway, right to you, David. David: 13:10 Go. No, there&#39;s nothing to say other than obviously he&#39;s a comedian because he&#39;s the funniest guest we&#39;ve had already in the eight minutes we&#39;ve been on the phone. Um, hi, welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s. SPEAKER_00: 13:21 Thank you. Thank you. Now listen, I was just voted Orlando&#39;s third best comedian after last year, winning best comedian. So I&#39;m a little hurt. You&#39;re slipping in the polls, but to be fair, now you have room to grow. Guess who beat me? I want you to guess. I&#39;ll give you three guesses. Matt Gates. Gavin: 13:39 No. But wait a minute. I forget. What&#39;s what&#39;s the category? It&#39;s just Orlando&#39;s comedian, not Orlando&#39;s gayest comedian. Best comedian. SPEAKER_00: 13:45 Oh shit. No, correct. It has nothing to do with my sexuality. Although the rumors may be true about one forced. Screw the guessing. We&#39;ll be here all week. Yeah. Carrot Top B. Wait, he lives in Florida? I thought he lived in Vegas. I think he does live in Vegas, but he was Orlando for a long time. Gavin: 14:04 But how on earth? And he gets voted top, like he&#39;s not a local. I agree. How does that get to be best? Oh, Jesus. Well, but like David said, now you have someplace to work up again because it&#39;s tough to be on top all the time. I would disagree, my friend. David: 14:20 Wait, Caratop is one of those people where I feel like they had all of these parts of a person, and they were like, let&#39;s make a person, okay? And they put all the parts of a person together, but they they got them from the different bins. So you&#39;re like, oh, this is a person with a good...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin founds out how anal David is, we rank the top 3 hacks for a successful kids party, and we are joined by fellow Thespian and Orlando&apos;s 3rd best comic, Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner, who tells us the story of why he almost had to show up to ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin founds out how anal David is, we rank the top 3 hacks for a successful kids party, and we are joined by fellow Thespian and Orlando&apos;s 3rd best comic, Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner, who tells us the story of why he almost had to show up to the birth of his first kid in a wig and dress. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Number one overarching, and I hope you&#39;re gonna agree with me. I this is the number 0.5 or whatever it is, the the king uh topping point of. David: 0:10 You&#39;re doing really good, babe. Keep going. Really proud of you. And this is Gatriarchs. So do you want to know how anal I am? Not that kind of anal. Gavin: 0:33 I am even fucking I&#39;m rendered speechless. Um yes, of course. David: 0:41 I want to know how anal you are, David. So at daycare, sorry to clear your buzz, but it is a daycare thing. So you know how daycare, by the way, happy waffle day. Did you know it&#39;s an international waffle day? Gavin: 0:52 International waffle day. David: 0:53 No fucking joke. This TikTok bulletin. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Nobody needs an international waffle day. Come on. There are no, especially my kid who&#39;s posting photos of him at daycare with chocolate sauce all over his waffle. I was anyway. So, long story short, is every five minutes when there&#39;s a party at school, they put a sign-up sheet for the parents to basically bring chips, bring whatever. What do we pay teachers for? So Jesus. I mean, whatever. So I usually will sign up for the mac and cheese because I make it homemade with like a homemade bechamel sauce. Oh fucking. Gavin: 1:25 Wait, with a homemade. Tell me you&#39;re gay without telling me you&#39;re gay. Can we put these in our non-existent show show notes? David: 1:33 Your recipe for your your Zoe, your Zoe De Chanel uh mac and cheese. You know what my secret ingredient is? Yeah. No. I mean, please tell. What? Yellow mustard. A tablespoon of yellow mustard. It has like a acidic quality, also has that nice yellow. Anyway, so I go to the signup sheet for both of these classes because I have two kids in daycare, and all the good stuff is taken. The only thing left over is plates and napkins. I&#39;m I&#39;m so I&#39;m so annoyed. Gavin: 2:02 I&#39;m so sad to admit that that&#39;s what I go for because the idea of having to bake, first of all, it takes prior planning, and I&#39;m not always great at that. I&#39;m almost fucking last minute and all the shit. But it&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to have to make a tray of something and then have to think like, how am I gonna dish this out? They&#39;re not gonna appreciate it anyway, because these kids just want fucking suckers. So come on. And um, I don&#39;t make Zoe Deschanel uh mac and cheese. So anyway. David: 2:32 So I so I have to buy plates and napkins. So one of the parties is the waffle day party, which again, not a fucking day. And then the other party is the summer blowout party. Well, I go to the dollar store, right? So I get the tablecloths, napkins, and plates. And I&#39;m so gay. Um summer is like summer colors, summer themes, everything, right? The waffle day, I get yellows and browns on like syrup colors, buttercolors. I like to have a whole fucking thing. But put them both in the same bag. I get to school and I realize I don&#39;t trust these fucking teachers to know which is for which day. They&#39;re just gonna throw whatever on the table. Yeah. So I grab a marker and I write down to each thing, this is for the summer party. This is for the waffle party. And you know what? Those pictures came in yesterday, and those waffle, those waffle tables looked real cute. They looked like little waffles with little pads of butter on them. So you&#39;re fucking welcome. But that&#39;s how anal I am is I had to tell them which tablecloth is for which party. Gavin: 3:25 I mean, it does it when you have a vision for something, I can relate where I just think I just assume people are gonna have the same sensibility that I will. And I&#39;m not aesthetic things don&#39;t keep me up at night, but uh come on, there&#39;s a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. And let&#39;s face it, our kids are always gonna screw it up because they have no sense of aestheticism, not asceticism, but aesthetics, whatever. Anti-Semitism. Let&#39;s I think they&#39;re inherently anti- Oh god, that&#39;s not what I meant. Anyway, uh, but I people do need some instructions to um to fulfill your vision. And I&#39;m glad that you&#39;re gonna be able to do that. David: 4:05 Listen, if we&#39;re gonna be the gay dads at school, oh yeah, like we gotta keep it up a little bit. Yeah, we gotta do that. 100%. Gavin: 4:12 And it&#39;s pathetic that I always just go for the plates and napkins because I actually think to myself, uh honestly, sometimes I&#39;m like, oh great, the gay dad&#39;s gonna have to deliver some over-the-top thing. And I&#39;m like, you know what? Let me just lower your expectations. The gays are just as lame as the straights, as David loves to point out. Yeah. David: 4:28 And so I just bring in basically just as disgusting, just as poor, stupid, just as untrustworthy. Gavin: 4:34 Yeah, absolutely. We&#39;re not all a bunch of Martha Stewart wannabes, that&#39;s for sure. David: 4:39 I do have a really fucking killer brown butter chocolate chip cookie recipe that I finally feel like I&#39;ve perfected. I&#39;ll put that in the show notes too. Uh, there are no show notes. Gavin: 4:49 Let&#39;s let&#39;s move it to something more celebratory and gay, which has to do with pickles. I love pickles. What do you uh and when you think of pickles, what do you think of? Do you think of their shape or their flavor? David: 5:02 I think of the flavor. I think of like the snap, the coldness. I think of like obviously the vinegar, sugar, like you know, the pickling of a cucumber, but like something about the I&#39;m a salt, I love salt, so the saltiness, the cold, the snap, I love it. Gavin: 5:15 Well, okay, so aside from the phallic symbols that I was expecting you to um be so base about. Uh are you aware of pickle-flavored cupcakes? Pickle-flavored cupcakes. No. So salty cupcakes with potentially a crunchy, pickly, like chopped, diced pickles on the inside, because of course cupcakes can&#39;t just be cupcakes anymore. They have to be an entire Broadway show, right? So it&#39;s like a Yeah, hold on, hold on. I could get the recipe for you. Um, and um, and then with uh a savory frosting on top, along with potato chips, either crushed. David: 5:53 So they&#39;re not really cupcakes, they&#39;re savory cupcakes, they&#39;re like muffins that look like cupcakes. They are right, they&#39;re like cornbread with like pickles in it. I mean, so it looks like a yeah, okay. Well, I heard about the I was not sweet. Gavin: 6:07 I no, no, no, no. I heard well, I you know what? I mean, listen, I didn&#39;t get do a deep dive into the cupcake recipes. I just heard about it on the news this morning, on the what radio, because I&#39;m what yes, it&#39;s 1937. And you&#39;re welcome. I needed to jump into your grandophone, you put your little ear to the like so um pickle cupcakes, they&#39;re a thing. And when you Google them, there are lots. I mean, there&#39;s a I&#39;m looking at a recipe right now, best pickle cupcake recipe, because of course everything that you Google is the best on dlish.com. It&#39;s from 2017. I&#39;m like, this didn&#39;t just happen, but somebody&#39;s doing really good branding about it right now with um with a potato chip on top and whatnot. But then it made me think like, can you imagine like pickle cupcakes? I mean, that is a drag queen name, if I have ever heard of one. Pickle cupcakes. I mean, it&#39;s really good. Just a little bit of salty and a little bit of sweet, you know? David: 7:01 Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s also, yeah, no, that&#39;s what that&#39;s really good. I I would kind of want to make these now. Yeah. They sound delicious. Like the, but they&#39;re not cupcakes. That&#39;s what&#39;s so like trendy about it. It&#39;s like, let&#39;s call it bubble cupcakes. It&#39;s not cupcakes, it&#39;s bread with pickles in it. Like, I don&#39;t know what you&#39;re like in a mayonnaise frosting. And a mayonnaise frosting. Absolutely. Gavin: 7:18 But how do you make a mayonnaise frosting with just the right amount of like firmness on the outside so that it there&#39;s like so you pierce it? Would you make a sandwich out of this pickle cupcake? I think you use it. Always. You know, you know that&#39;s my thing. I always have it. I don&#39;t understand why you want to do that. I mean, again because I&#39;m 43, Gaben. I&#39;m not 11. A cupcake is a vessel to your mouth for frosting. So yeah, I don&#39;t want to squish anything down. I would rather take the bottom half of the cupcake, throw it away, and just eat the frosting on top. David: 7:49 So you want the ratio of frosting to cupcake to be a little more even or more frosting. Yeah, four to one. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. Way more. Well, I know it&#39;s three to one. Our top three list. Let&#39;s move to three to three. Gavin: 8:00 Is that a good transition? Have a good segue. I mean. I&#39;m so proud of you. That was fantastic. Let&#39;s move to the top three lists. Yes, it is. So this week, this week&#39;s top three list is I wanted to hear. I mean, gosh, I don&#39;t think that our top three need list needs to always be top three recommendations for something. It&#39;s but anyway, it&#39;s that&#39;s what it is this week, which is top three suggestions for uh successful birthday parties. So for me, number three is start on time. I&#39;m late to everything, I&#39;m sure that shocks you. You were late to this recording. I&#39;m fuck off. I told you it was gonna be a good one. Three minutes later. No, we started 4 13, not 4 10. Okay, sorry. True, guilty as charged. Yes, start on time because no birthday party needs to go more than two hours. Tops, frankly, 90 minutes. Those kids are so oversaturated anyway, get them in and out. So start on time. Number two, cake within 45 minutes. You get them in, you get them fed, you get them sugared up, you let them run it off. Because everybody just every child just showed up for the cake anyway. So get that cake in and out of them, let them run it off, and then bye-bye. David: 9:14 I like that one because every because if the cake is too late, then they eat cake and then they&#39;re just expected to get in the car. And yeah, no, that&#39;s good. Gavin: 9:20 It&#39;s just like move it along and then let it just devolve into a play date, because that&#39;s all it is, anyway. Come on. Yeah. And then number one is I mean, sorry, just booze. If you and I don&#39;t mean to sound like such an alcoholic, but if the if we are hosting birthday parties with the parents, you better let those parents enjoy themselves. And uh, and if this is not a babysat play date, it if the parents are there, give them something to drink. I uh my apologies to those who are in recovery. But the rest of us need to be able to have a drink. What about really insensitive, Gavin? David: 9:53 I well really insensitive of you. Gavin: 9:55 You know? David: 9:57 Um, so my top three secrets are uh a little less specific, a little broader, but I still think they&#39;re gonna be helpful for people throwing now. Again, my point of view on parties is for like toddlers. So that&#39;s where all of this is um coming from. Uh so number three for me, aim low. Do not think that you&#39;re gonna curate this magical experience for anybody showing up. It is not that. Every adult who gets that imitation rolls their eyes. Did I say another fucking party this week? Yep. That is what they&#39;re feeling. So aim low. If it&#39;s just cupcakes in the park, that is enough. So number three, aim low. Number two, similar to what you said, always consider the parents. The parents are there too. The parents are just as miserable as you are. So if that means getting them food too, if it&#39;s like pizza for the kids and ice cream, do the parents have pizza? You have to feed them. Yeah, Gabin, you&#39;re thinking about alcohol, I&#39;m thinking about pizza. Yes, right on right on track. This all tracks. Yeah. So something for the parents. And number one, again, very toddler friendly, to me, is to split the like share the birthday with another kid in your class, or slash, throw your party at the daycare. Because all of your kids are gonna go to the same friend&#39;s birthday parties, they&#39;re gonna do the same, it&#39;s just gonna be a cycle of garbage. So if you and you know, uh, you know, Jimmy have a birthday within two weeks of each other, do a co-birthday. Because if you go to one of these places, you&#39;re splitting the cost. 100%. It&#39;s the same fucking kids there. Yeah, and you get to split all the costs. So that&#39;s my number one. Gavin: 11:32 I&#39;m gonna okay, so and one more thing, David. I&#39;m gonna top you here on this, okay? Oh, finally. Is that first and foremost, this wasn&#39;t an afterthought. This was uh I need to have the final word here. Can we stop the insanity with fucking goodie bags? Stop. Can we please start a movement? I if if this podcast exists for nothing else except show up expecting gifts. David: 11:55 Yes, not even just a bag, a wrapped gift. Gavin: 11:58 This is a social movement that I want to that I want to foster here. Enough of the goodie bags. It&#39;s this is my aim low. David: 12:05 Aim low. Gavin: 12:06 It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s nonsense, it&#39;s trash, nobody needs to. David: 12:10 And we all do the same shit. We all go to the dollar store, we all get shitty play-doh. And we all bitch about it. Yep, we all bitch that it&#39;s you&#39;re coming home with us and we go right in the garbage. Gavin: 12:18 Yep, yep. So number that that&#39;s the number, that&#39;s the king daddy topper. There you go. David: 12:23 All right, so next week, our list. Now, similar to an old list, but it&#39;s different. Okay. The top three things that are so fun as a kid, but not fun as an adult. So our next guest is a comedian. He&#39;s an author, he&#39;s a viral cook and Orlando&#39;s most famous gay-at-home dad. We&#39;ll see about that. Uh, please welcome to the show, Ben Toshinski Skinny. Here he is. Did I say this? Hi, hi. That was perfect. I&#39;m blown away. Before I&#39;m very proud. Before we started recording, we were talking about the Holocaust and Big Dick. So I think we&#39;re really And also how to pronounce Petoshinski. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Not that definitely not that, though. Definitely not like that. Were you the one that just came from the dentist, or was it your dog? Gavin: 13:06 Wow. Wow. I mean, I wanted to exaggerate, but anyway, right to you, David. David: 13:10 Go. No, there&#39;s nothing to say other than obviously he&#39;s a comedian because he&#39;s the funniest guest we&#39;ve had already in the eight minutes we&#39;ve been on the phone. Um, hi, welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s. SPEAKER_00: 13:21 Thank you. Thank you. Now listen, I was just voted Orlando&#39;s third best comedian after last year, winning best comedian. So I&#39;m a little hurt. You&#39;re slipping in the polls, but to be fair, now you have room to grow. Guess who beat me? I want you to guess. I&#39;ll give you three guesses. Matt Gates. Gavin: 13:39 No. But wait a minute. I forget. What&#39;s what&#39;s the category? It&#39;s just Orlando&#39;s comedian, not Orlando&#39;s gayest comedian. Best comedian. SPEAKER_00: 13:45 Oh shit. No, correct. It has nothing to do with my sexuality. Although the rumors may be true about one forced. Screw the guessing. We&#39;ll be here all week. Yeah. Carrot Top B. Wait, he lives in Florida? I thought he lived in Vegas. I think he does live in Vegas, but he was Orlando for a long time. Gavin: 14:04 But how on earth? And he gets voted top, like he&#39;s not a local. I agree. How does that get to be best? Oh, Jesus. Well, but like David said, now you have someplace to work up again because it&#39;s tough to be on top all the time. I would disagree, my friend. David: 14:20 Wait, Caratop is one of those people where I feel like they had all of these parts of a person, and they were like, let&#39;s make a person, okay? And they put all the parts of a person together, but they they got them from the different bins. So you&#39;re like, oh, this is a person with a good...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin founds out how anal David is, we rank the top 3 hacks for a successful kids party, and we are joined by fellow Thespian and Orlando&apos;s 3rd best comic, Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner, who tells us the story of why he almost had to show up to the birth of his first kid in a wig and dress. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Number one overarching, and I hope you&#39;re gonna agree with me. I this is the number 0.5 or whatever it is, the the king uh topping point of. David: 0:10 You&#39;re doing really good, babe. Keep going. Really proud of you. And this is Gatriarchs. So do you want to know how anal I am? Not that kind of anal. Gavin: 0:33 I am even fucking I&#39;m rendered speechless. Um yes, of course. David: 0:41 I want to know how anal you are, David. So at daycare, sorry to clear your buzz, but it is a daycare thing. So you know how daycare, by the way, happy waffle day. Did you know it&#39;s an international waffle day? Gavin: 0:52 International waffle day. David: 0:53 No fucking joke. This TikTok bulletin. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Nobody needs an international waffle day. Come on. There are no, especially my kid who&#39;s posting photos of him at daycare with chocolate sauce all over his waffle. I was anyway. So, long story short, is every five minutes when there&#39;s a party at school, they put a sign-up sheet for the parents to basically bring chips, bring whatever. What do we pay teachers for? So Jesus. I mean, whatever. So I usually will sign up for the mac and cheese because I make it homemade with like a homemade bechamel sauce. Oh fucking. Gavin: 1:25 Wait, with a homemade. Tell me you&#39;re gay without telling me you&#39;re gay. Can we put these in our non-existent show show notes? David: 1:33 Your recipe for your your Zoe, your Zoe De Chanel uh mac and cheese. You know what my secret ingredient is? Yeah. No. I mean, please tell. What? Yellow mustard. A tablespoon of yellow mustard. It has like a acidic quality, also has that nice yellow. Anyway, so I go to the signup sheet for both of these classes because I have two kids in daycare, and all the good stuff is taken. The only thing left over is plates and napkins. I&#39;m I&#39;m so I&#39;m so annoyed. Gavin: 2:02 I&#39;m so sad to admit that that&#39;s what I go for because the idea of having to bake, first of all, it takes prior planning, and I&#39;m not always great at that. I&#39;m almost fucking last minute and all the shit. But it&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to have to make a tray of something and then have to think like, how am I gonna dish this out? They&#39;re not gonna appreciate it anyway, because these kids just want fucking suckers. So come on. And um, I don&#39;t make Zoe Deschanel uh mac and cheese. So anyway. David: 2:32 So I so I have to buy plates and napkins. So one of the parties is the waffle day party, which again, not a fucking day. And then the other party is the summer blowout party. Well, I go to the dollar store, right? So I get the tablecloths, napkins, and plates. And I&#39;m so gay. Um summer is like summer colors, summer themes, everything, right? The waffle day, I get yellows and browns on like syrup colors, buttercolors. I like to have a whole fucking thing. But put them both in the same bag. I get to school and I realize I don&#39;t trust these fucking teachers to know which is for which day. They&#39;re just gonna throw whatever on the table. Yeah. So I grab a marker and I write down to each thing, this is for the summer party. This is for the waffle party. And you know what? Those pictures came in yesterday, and those waffle, those waffle tables looked real cute. They looked like little waffles with little pads of butter on them. So you&#39;re fucking welcome. But that&#39;s how anal I am is I had to tell them which tablecloth is for which party. Gavin: 3:25 I mean, it does it when you have a vision for something, I can relate where I just think I just assume people are gonna have the same sensibility tha]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin founds out how anal David is, we rank the top 3 hacks for a successful kids party, and we are joined by fellow Thespian and Orlando&apos;s 3rd best comic, Ben Ptashinsky-Skinner, who tells us the story of why he almost had to show up to the birth of his first kid in a wig and dress. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Number one overarching, and I hope you&#39;re gonna agree with me. I this is the number 0.5 or whatever it is, the the king uh topping point of. David: 0:10 You&#39;re doing really good, babe. Keep going. Really proud of you. And this is Gatriarchs. So do you want to know how anal I am? Not that kind of anal. Gavin: 0:33 I am even fucking I&#39;m rendered speechless. Um yes, of course. David: 0:41 I want to know how anal you are, David. So at daycare, sorry to clear your buzz, but it is a daycare thing. So you know how daycare, by the way, happy waffle day. Did you know it&#39;s an international waffle day? Gavin: 0:52 International waffle day. David: 0:53 ]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Jeff Bogle</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jeff-bogle/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 13 Sep 2023 12:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13556445</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[It&apos;s episode 30(!), and we are celebrating with an ask for our listeners, Gavin&apos;s favorite Dad/dick jokes, and tales of the NYC Blackout, 20 years later. Also, we are joined this week by writer, daddy blogger, and all around ally Jeff Bogle who tries to school Gavin and David on the best ways to cruise. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:20 Right? And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:38 Gavin, it is episode thirty of Gatriarchs. Can you believe that shit? No, I can&#39;t. Gavin: 0:46 We&#39;re in our we&#39;re we&#39;re in our thirties again. Oh, we&#39;re in our thirties again. How cute is that? I&#39;m proud of us. I wondered if we were gonna get to this point. It&#39;s great. Same. David: 0:56 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m very proud of us. We did we we created something where it didn&#39;t exist, and we uh thank all of our listeners for sticking by us as we figured out editing and mics and content and all the things. Gavin: 1:09 So thank you so much for sticking with us. David: 1:12 Yeah, a hundred percent. And we&#39;re gonna spend the next 60 seconds only, and then we&#39;re gonna move on to dick jokes, uh begging you for help because we need visibility, right? Yeah, we are on the internet and everyone is on the internet and everyone wants to listen to their show. Um, and so we need to get in front of people, and the way you can help with that is giving us reviews. And I know we ask it at the end of every episode, and it&#39;s super annoying. Gavin: 1:35 If you&#39;ve listened that far, yes, just a quick reminder we always do ask for the reviews. David: 1:39 Yeah, but like reviews and sharing our posts and just interacting with our content. I know everyone asks that and it&#39;s so annoying, but it&#39;s the only way we can grow, and we&#39;re growing because we&#39;re growers and showers. Gavin: 1:49 Uh, we but we&#39;re asking you to show a little more to help us grow. David: 1:53 Oh, look at you bringing that around. That was really cute. So, anyway, our 60 seconds are up. That&#39;s our plea. If you can somehow share the show with people you think that might like the show, we would so appreciate it. So we can continue to make the millions and millions and millions of dollars that we make on the show. Gavin: 2:09 The millions. But as we all know, like with Amazon reviews and whatnot, it doesn&#39;t take much time and it actually may makes a huge difference. And now back to dick jokes. Like, I&#39;m not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great. David: 2:23 It&#39;s just a dad and dick joke. It is the perfect Gateriarch&#39;s joke. Gavin: 2:29 There we go. David: 2:30 I mean, that&#39;s a good joke. Gavin: 2:32 I I I appreciate that. I just came up with it on the spot. David: 2:35 So another uh milestone, uh other than it&#39;s episode 30 for us, is that it&#39;s the 20th anniversary of the New York City blackout. Do you remember the blackout gave him? Gavin: 2:45 Yes. I can&#39;t believe that was 20 years ago. Maybe it was 20 years. It does feel like yesterday. It was in the dark ages, pun intended, but it was a long time ago. David: 2:54 And also, there are probably listeners who were like, I wasn&#39;t alive 20 years ago. And I wasn&#39;t sure. Let&#39;s hope so. Unsubscribe. Gavin: 3:01 Um, but that said, first give us a five-star review and then unsubscribe, please. David: 3:06 And email us some dick pics at Gatarkspodcast at gmail.com. Anyway, uh, I was just thinking about where I was during the blackout because it was kind of like one of those big generational things where like September 11th or, you know, whatever, where you&#39;re like, where were you during that? So, Gavin, I&#39;m curious. I didn&#39;t know you 20 years ago. Where were you? Gavin: 3:21 Well, it it definitely is a uh a generational moment for the those of us who were there. I would imagine people in Oklahoma City were not thinking about the uh blackout. But my story there, listen, I&#39;m so full of fantastic stories, as you know. David: 3:36 Hold on, let me get my pillow and blanket. Gavin: 3:41 But my blackout story is really boring. I should just make it a 10 second or less. I was home, I had an AMFM radio with batteries, I decided to just stay home, sleep on my the tile floor of my kitchen in my underwear, and read books by candlelight because there was literally nothing else to do. Although I did go out for a walk with my roommate that night, and uh there were restaurants handing out ice cream, and that was that was fun. David: 4:04 It was dark, dark, dark, so dark. You forget like how how bright the world is at night. You forget that like everyone has even a porch light or a street light, like small things. Yeah, and when all that shit is gone, gone, you&#39;re like, oh no, this is dark. Gavin: 4:22 Yeah, for sure. And but it was also it felt it was super like party riffic festive um that evening for us, anyway. Um, was it was a party riffic for you? David: 4:31 I mean, kind of. It was listen, New York City is such a great place where like everyone kind of when something big happens, everyone comes together. Sometimes they come together to fight each other, but sometimes they come together to celebrate. And so just the blackout for me, one of the things I wanted to say in context, first of all, super fucking hot outside. God, it was and second of all, there weren&#39;t smartphones. So when you needed information, you would go to a computer or you would call somebody on the phone. Gavin: 4:57 It was the dark ages. David: 4:58 Literally the dark ages. And anyway, long story short, is I went out on the street when all the lights went out, and I started hearing people talking about what it was happening. And I was like, oh, we lost power in these blocks or whatever. And then somebody was like, I think it&#39;s terrorism because this is right after 9-11. Gavin: 5:15 Yeah, it wasn&#39;t long after for sure. And we were all about terrorism and and cyber attacks and attacks of all kinds then. David: 5:23 So yeah, no, 100%. Everyone was like thinking everything was terrorism. So I thought I was gonna die. I literally was like, oh, terrorists have bombed the Northeast. We&#39;re gonna die. What should I do? And everyone was closing, everyone was closing up shop or handing out ice cream. So I ran upstairs and I grabbed all the change I could find, went to my bodega, and I bought what I thought would be my last meal, which I decided was chocolate-covered Intamin&#39;s donuts. The little minis. Gavin: 5:50 This tracks, this tracks so much. You you thinking I have to get a final meal, and what&#39;s it gonna be? Okay. David: 5:56 Yeah, and not like calling my mom or telling people I love them. No, no, no, no, no. Eating waxy chocolate donuts on my fire escape in my underwear, waiting for the end. Gavin: 6:06 A dozen rings of cancer in a box for very cheap. David: 6:10 But delicious cancer. Oh, the most delicious cancer. Gavin: 6:14 It&#39;s probably uh as far as the taste of most cancers, I would say it probably is the best. David: 6:18 Oh, yeah, definitely. We should do a top three uh most delicious cancers. unknown: 6:22 Wow. David: 6:23 This is so fucked up. Anyway, so I just I literally sat on my fire scape eating donuts, waiting for the end. I thought this was gonna be the end for me, and then it didn&#39;t come, so I fell asleep on my roommate&#39;s floor in my underwear. Again, it was super fucking hot. At 3 a.m., I was awakened by the original cast recording of the last five years popping on at full volume on my speakers and all the lights turning on. And I realized that I was alive and I had just downed an entire box of donuts, and I was at least happy I was alive. Gavin: 6:52 Once again, this is the gayest story that tracks for you. But having said that, God, I love that album. I love I&#39;d love that you say original, as if there&#39;s a there isn&#39;t a revival or anything. Well, there&#39;s the movie. Oh, right, of course. David: 7:05 Which listen was not listen, movie musicals in the past 10 years have been hit or miss, as we know, right? Very hit or miss, yes. They have they have really struggled to let theatrical creators create the film version of things. And I think when they just have these film directors make anyway, I thought the last five years was pretty good. I thought they did a pretty good job. Gavin: 7:22 I skipped it because it is uh such an important album in my life in New York City. I don&#39;t want it to be screwed up. But um I get it. But uh, but that that story uh completely tracks. And for those who were not necessarily born even uh 20 years ago, um you should one definitely check out the original cast album of the last five years, and two unsubscribe because if you don&#39;t know anything about the New York Black album. David: 7:49 Absolutely, unsubscribe. We don&#39;t want you here. Gavin: 7:51 But but for but but before you do that, please give us a five-star review and uh download it and um tell all your friends and then unsubscribe. But still keep subscribing. But really, help us again um show so we can grow. Now, um, speaking of blackouts and having little hissy fits and frankly tantrums, it it occurs to me that sometimes we get too caught up in our own musical theater lives here on Gatriarch and don&#39;t for we forget to talk about some of the coping mechanisms that come along with parenting. Because after all, we wanted to be a podcast that is, of course, about parenting, about being a gay parent, and also putting some good stuff out there in the world that&#39;s not just goop saying, here&#39;s a vagina egg, lube it up, have fun with it. And also parenting is a pottery bar and catalog uh photo spread, right? And if we&#39;re gonna be dick jokes and dad hacks, we need more dad hacks. So let&#39;s talk about dad hacks. Yeah. I want to know. Um, so just the other day, we had a tantrum in our house. And it&#39;s been a while because we don&#39;t have one or two or three-year-old tantrums. We now have 11-year-old tantrums, right? They are manageable. I&#39;m not gonna say there&#39;s anything actually wrong with it, but it is absurd because boy, there&#39;s a lot of just sitting and waiting and trying to rationalize because frankly, you think you can rationalize with an 11-year-old, but guess what? You can&#39;t, and you just have to sit through it, right? Or put your foot down or whatever. But I&#39;m curious, you&#39;re kind of in tantrum hell right now, aren&#39;t you? David: 9:18 A hundred percent. I have a four-year-old and a 20-month-old. Gavin: 9:22 How do you deal with your tantrums? David: 9:25 So I&#39;m gonna give you really simple, simple, simple advice, which doesn&#39;t always solve everything, but I think it&#39;s helpful. In the event of a tantrum or just general crabbiness, my solution is add air or water. SPEAKER_03: 9:40 And what that means is elucidate. David: 9:44 Yes, um, is take them outside. Oh, yeah. Uh for air, right? Air. Look, we&#39;re gonna go outside and we&#39;re gonna go in a different place. Even if it&#39;s in your front yard, we are a redneck people in our neighborhood. We just will sit in our front yard on a blanket and just hang out. Gavin: 9:58 Um just steel billlies out on their front yard again. Go ahead and pee. David: 10:02 Yeah, pee wherever you want. Yeah, this grass loves it. Um, so yeah, no, we&#39;re we we add air or water. So water would be obviously like you could go to the water. Gavin: 10:09 Splashing water in their face. David: 10:11 No, I don&#39;t actually mean that. I mean like, even like, hey, you want to do the dishes with me, they can just pour water back and forth. We have a water table outside, or here&#39;s a fucking hose, go crazy. Something about air and water, at least with my limited four years of parenting experience, solves most problems. Gavin: 10:29 You know, I think that still tracks, honestly, because uh recently when we were having an 11-year-old meltdown, uh, it we had kind of gotten over, we had crested, you know, the the climax of the um uh tantrum, but I did say, come on, let&#39;s just go for a walk. No, I don&#39;t wanna, no, let&#39;s just go for a walk. No, I don&#39;t wanna. And we did. We went for a 10-minute walk together. The first half was in silence. The second half was, hey dad, you know what I love about school right now? And I&#39;m like, wait, what? And when you&#39;re able to, you know, get push past it or inject the air, the kids breathe better, and then they open up to you again. And um, and we we had a very quick transition there. But um I will say there was a time that I was trying to get both my kids out the door when they were very little. One was going to essentially pre-pre preschool for you know three-year-olds, I think. And we had a double stroller. And for some reason, my daughter was having a completely illogical off-the-hook tantrum. And I had a family member there who was, I&#39;m not gonna say judging my parenting or my ill-behaved child. They always are. We both looked at what&#39;s that? David: 11:34 They always are, even when they say they aren&#39;t, they&#39;re breathing in a certain way where you can hear their breathing. Yeah. Yes. Gavin: 11:40 The breathing, the hemming, the hawing, the distaring. Yeah, you&#39;re like, I am dying in this moment. I would be so much better off if nobody was watching me deal with the scantrum. But I did take my daughter and I shoved her into that double stroller and we just went outside. She was screaming, you know, how you have to hold down with an elbow to get the clip going. And the second we got outside, everything was fine. So I think air and water, let&#39;s leave it at that. Air and water. Absolutely. How about another dick joke, huh? Might as well get to that, huh? Like, uh, what&#39;s the difference between a dick and a bonus check? Someone is always down to blow your bonus. Gavin, you&#39;re fired. David: 12:18 Um well, let&#39;s let&#39;s I want to end this uh this opening segment before we move on to our top three on a real down note. Oh I really like to do that. I saw a TikTok, um, which really like it like hurt my soul a little bit, but in a way that I was like, okay, I need to think about things differently. Um, it was basically saying once your kids turn 18 and they let&#39;s say move out of the house for you know college or whatever, um if you see your kids X amount of times per year, if you add up all the days you get to see your kids again after that, before you die at whatever your natural age is, it averages out to be one year. If you add up all the days you see your kids after they turn 18, before you die, it ends up being a year, which is such a fucked up way. I remember seeing a similar thing where it was like, How many times a year do you see your parents? Add that up to how many years you expect them to live, and you go, Oh my God, I have two months left with my mom, or 10 visits or whatever. Gavin: 13:14 Let&#39;s break this down into meaningful terms. We spend a lot of money on our children. This seems like a terrible return on investment. Oh, absolutely. I want my money back. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, having children is a purely financial decision. And then they abandon us. Yeah. Abandon us. We see them for one year, and most of the time they&#39;re annoyed to be with us. And frankly, we&#39;re probably annoyed or disappointed to be with them. And it&#39;s still costing us money for that final year that spans hopefully 40 years of our life. Oh. David: 13:48 You know what? Maybe we shouldn&#39;t have kids, Gavin. Do you think we should maybe rethink this whole thing? Gavin: 13:52 I mean, how often have you said, can I get a refund? David: 13:55 But I do think that it is at least good for me to think that way. We&#39;re like, the the time is precious, right? That that&#39;s the thing you have to kind of you have to fast-forward yourself to when you&#39;ll miss the things and try to pull some of that energy back when you&#39;re holding two screaming kids and a Toys R Us or whatever. So that was one of those things...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[It&apos;s episode 30(!), and we are celebrating with an ask for our listeners, Gavin&apos;s favorite Dad/dick jokes, and tales of the NYC Blackout, 20 years later. Also, we are joined this week by writer, daddy blogger, and all around ally Jeff Bogle who]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[It&apos;s episode 30(!), and we are celebrating with an ask for our listeners, Gavin&apos;s favorite Dad/dick jokes, and tales of the NYC Blackout, 20 years later. Also, we are joined this week by writer, daddy blogger, and all around ally Jeff Bogle who tries to school Gavin and David on the best ways to cruise. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:20 Right? And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:38 Gavin, it is episode thirty of Gatriarchs. Can you believe that shit? No, I can&#39;t. Gavin: 0:46 We&#39;re in our we&#39;re we&#39;re in our thirties again. Oh, we&#39;re in our thirties again. How cute is that? I&#39;m proud of us. I wondered if we were gonna get to this point. It&#39;s great. Same. David: 0:56 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m very proud of us. We did we we created something where it didn&#39;t exist, and we uh thank all of our listeners for sticking by us as we figured out editing and mics and content and all the things. Gavin: 1:09 So thank you so much for sticking with us. David: 1:12 Yeah, a hundred percent. And we&#39;re gonna spend the next 60 seconds only, and then we&#39;re gonna move on to dick jokes, uh begging you for help because we need visibility, right? Yeah, we are on the internet and everyone is on the internet and everyone wants to listen to their show. Um, and so we need to get in front of people, and the way you can help with that is giving us reviews. And I know we ask it at the end of every episode, and it&#39;s super annoying. Gavin: 1:35 If you&#39;ve listened that far, yes, just a quick reminder we always do ask for the reviews. David: 1:39 Yeah, but like reviews and sharing our posts and just interacting with our content. I know everyone asks that and it&#39;s so annoying, but it&#39;s the only way we can grow, and we&#39;re growing because we&#39;re growers and showers. Gavin: 1:49 Uh, we but we&#39;re asking you to show a little more to help us grow. David: 1:53 Oh, look at you bringing that around. That was really cute. So, anyway, our 60 seconds are up. That&#39;s our plea. If you can somehow share the show with people you think that might like the show, we would so appreciate it. So we can continue to make the millions and millions and millions of dollars that we make on the show. Gavin: 2:09 The millions. But as we all know, like with Amazon reviews and whatnot, it doesn&#39;t take much time and it actually may makes a huge difference. And now back to dick jokes. Like, I&#39;m not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great. David: 2:23 It&#39;s just a dad and dick joke. It is the perfect Gateriarch&#39;s joke. Gavin: 2:29 There we go. David: 2:30 I mean, that&#39;s a good joke. Gavin: 2:32 I I I appreciate that. I just came up with it on the spot. David: 2:35 So another uh milestone, uh other than it&#39;s episode 30 for us, is that it&#39;s the 20th anniversary of the New York City blackout. Do you remember the blackout gave him? Gavin: 2:45 Yes. I can&#39;t believe that was 20 years ago. Maybe it was 20 years. It does feel like yesterday. It was in the dark ages, pun intended, but it was a long time ago. David: 2:54 And also, there are probably listeners who were like, I wasn&#39;t alive 20 years ago. And I wasn&#39;t sure. Let&#39;s hope so. Unsubscribe. Gavin: 3:01 Um, but that said, first give us a five-star review and then unsubscribe, please. David: 3:06 And email us some dick pics at Gatarkspodcast at gmail.com. Anyway, uh, I was just thinking about where I was during the blackout because it was kind of like one of those big generational things where like September 11th or, you know, whatever, where you&#39;re like, where were you during that? So, Gavin, I&#39;m curious. I didn&#39;t know you 20 years ago. Where were you? Gavin: 3:21 Well, it it definitely is a uh a generational moment for the those of us who were there. I would imagine people in Oklahoma City were not thinking about the uh blackout. But my story there, listen, I&#39;m so full of fantastic stories, as you know. David: 3:36 Hold on, let me get my pillow and blanket. Gavin: 3:41 But my blackout story is really boring. I should just make it a 10 second or less. I was home, I had an AMFM radio with batteries, I decided to just stay home, sleep on my the tile floor of my kitchen in my underwear, and read books by candlelight because there was literally nothing else to do. Although I did go out for a walk with my roommate that night, and uh there were restaurants handing out ice cream, and that was that was fun. David: 4:04 It was dark, dark, dark, so dark. You forget like how how bright the world is at night. You forget that like everyone has even a porch light or a street light, like small things. Yeah, and when all that shit is gone, gone, you&#39;re like, oh no, this is dark. Gavin: 4:22 Yeah, for sure. And but it was also it felt it was super like party riffic festive um that evening for us, anyway. Um, was it was a party riffic for you? David: 4:31 I mean, kind of. It was listen, New York City is such a great place where like everyone kind of when something big happens, everyone comes together. Sometimes they come together to fight each other, but sometimes they come together to celebrate. And so just the blackout for me, one of the things I wanted to say in context, first of all, super fucking hot outside. God, it was and second of all, there weren&#39;t smartphones. So when you needed information, you would go to a computer or you would call somebody on the phone. Gavin: 4:57 It was the dark ages. David: 4:58 Literally the dark ages. And anyway, long story short, is I went out on the street when all the lights went out, and I started hearing people talking about what it was happening. And I was like, oh, we lost power in these blocks or whatever. And then somebody was like, I think it&#39;s terrorism because this is right after 9-11. Gavin: 5:15 Yeah, it wasn&#39;t long after for sure. And we were all about terrorism and and cyber attacks and attacks of all kinds then. David: 5:23 So yeah, no, 100%. Everyone was like thinking everything was terrorism. So I thought I was gonna die. I literally was like, oh, terrorists have bombed the Northeast. We&#39;re gonna die. What should I do? And everyone was closing, everyone was closing up shop or handing out ice cream. So I ran upstairs and I grabbed all the change I could find, went to my bodega, and I bought what I thought would be my last meal, which I decided was chocolate-covered Intamin&#39;s donuts. The little minis. Gavin: 5:50 This tracks, this tracks so much. You you thinking I have to get a final meal, and what&#39;s it gonna be? Okay. David: 5:56 Yeah, and not like calling my mom or telling people I love them. No, no, no, no, no. Eating waxy chocolate donuts on my fire escape in my underwear, waiting for the end. Gavin: 6:06 A dozen rings of cancer in a box for very cheap. David: 6:10 But delicious cancer. Oh, the most delicious cancer. Gavin: 6:14 It&#39;s probably uh as far as the taste of most cancers, I would say it probably is the best. David: 6:18 Oh, yeah, definitely. We should do a top three uh most delicious cancers. unknown: 6:22 Wow. David: 6:23 This is so fucked up. Anyway, so I just I literally sat on my fire scape eating donuts, waiting for the end. I thought this was gonna be the end for me, and then it didn&#39;t come, so I fell asleep on my roommate&#39;s floor in my underwear. Again, it was super fucking hot. At 3 a.m., I was awakened by the original cast recording of the last five years popping on at full volume on my speakers and all the lights turning on. And I realized that I was alive and I had just downed an entire box of donuts, and I was at least happy I was alive. Gavin: 6:52 Once again, this is the gayest story that tracks for you. But having said that, God, I love that album. I love I&#39;d love that you say original, as if there&#39;s a there isn&#39;t a revival or anything. Well, there&#39;s the movie. Oh, right, of course. David: 7:05 Which listen was not listen, movie musicals in the past 10 years have been hit or miss, as we know, right? Very hit or miss, yes. They have they have really struggled to let theatrical creators create the film version of things. And I think when they just have these film directors make anyway, I thought the last five years was pretty good. I thought they did a pretty good job. Gavin: 7:22 I skipped it because it is uh such an important album in my life in New York City. I don&#39;t want it to be screwed up. But um I get it. But uh, but that that story uh completely tracks. And for those who were not necessarily born even uh 20 years ago, um you should one definitely check out the original cast album of the last five years, and two unsubscribe because if you don&#39;t know anything about the New York Black album. David: 7:49 Absolutely, unsubscribe. We don&#39;t want you here. Gavin: 7:51 But but for but but before you do that, please give us a five-star review and uh download it and um tell all your friends and then unsubscribe. But still keep subscribing. But really, help us again um show so we can grow. Now, um, speaking of blackouts and having little hissy fits and frankly tantrums, it it occurs to me that sometimes we get too caught up in our own musical theater lives here on Gatriarch and don&#39;t for we forget to talk about some of the coping mechanisms that come along with parenting. Because after all, we wanted to be a podcast that is, of course, about parenting, about being a gay parent, and also putting some good stuff out there in the world that&#39;s not just goop saying, here&#39;s a vagina egg, lube it up, have fun with it. And also parenting is a pottery bar and catalog uh photo spread, right? And if we&#39;re gonna be dick jokes and dad hacks, we need more dad hacks. So let&#39;s talk about dad hacks. Yeah. I want to know. Um, so just the other day, we had a tantrum in our house. And it&#39;s been a while because we don&#39;t have one or two or three-year-old tantrums. We now have 11-year-old tantrums, right? They are manageable. I&#39;m not gonna say there&#39;s anything actually wrong with it, but it is absurd because boy, there&#39;s a lot of just sitting and waiting and trying to rationalize because frankly, you think you can rationalize with an 11-year-old, but guess what? You can&#39;t, and you just have to sit through it, right? Or put your foot down or whatever. But I&#39;m curious, you&#39;re kind of in tantrum hell right now, aren&#39;t you? David: 9:18 A hundred percent. I have a four-year-old and a 20-month-old. Gavin: 9:22 How do you deal with your tantrums? David: 9:25 So I&#39;m gonna give you really simple, simple, simple advice, which doesn&#39;t always solve everything, but I think it&#39;s helpful. In the event of a tantrum or just general crabbiness, my solution is add air or water. SPEAKER_03: 9:40 And what that means is elucidate. David: 9:44 Yes, um, is take them outside. Oh, yeah. Uh for air, right? Air. Look, we&#39;re gonna go outside and we&#39;re gonna go in a different place. Even if it&#39;s in your front yard, we are a redneck people in our neighborhood. We just will sit in our front yard on a blanket and just hang out. Gavin: 9:58 Um just steel billlies out on their front yard again. Go ahead and pee. David: 10:02 Yeah, pee wherever you want. Yeah, this grass loves it. Um, so yeah, no, we&#39;re we we add air or water. So water would be obviously like you could go to the water. Gavin: 10:09 Splashing water in their face. David: 10:11 No, I don&#39;t actually mean that. I mean like, even like, hey, you want to do the dishes with me, they can just pour water back and forth. We have a water table outside, or here&#39;s a fucking hose, go crazy. Something about air and water, at least with my limited four years of parenting experience, solves most problems. Gavin: 10:29 You know, I think that still tracks, honestly, because uh recently when we were having an 11-year-old meltdown, uh, it we had kind of gotten over, we had crested, you know, the the climax of the um uh tantrum, but I did say, come on, let&#39;s just go for a walk. No, I don&#39;t wanna, no, let&#39;s just go for a walk. No, I don&#39;t wanna. And we did. We went for a 10-minute walk together. The first half was in silence. The second half was, hey dad, you know what I love about school right now? And I&#39;m like, wait, what? And when you&#39;re able to, you know, get push past it or inject the air, the kids breathe better, and then they open up to you again. And um, and we we had a very quick transition there. But um I will say there was a time that I was trying to get both my kids out the door when they were very little. One was going to essentially pre-pre preschool for you know three-year-olds, I think. And we had a double stroller. And for some reason, my daughter was having a completely illogical off-the-hook tantrum. And I had a family member there who was, I&#39;m not gonna say judging my parenting or my ill-behaved child. They always are. We both looked at what&#39;s that? David: 11:34 They always are, even when they say they aren&#39;t, they&#39;re breathing in a certain way where you can hear their breathing. Yeah. Yes. Gavin: 11:40 The breathing, the hemming, the hawing, the distaring. Yeah, you&#39;re like, I am dying in this moment. I would be so much better off if nobody was watching me deal with the scantrum. But I did take my daughter and I shoved her into that double stroller and we just went outside. She was screaming, you know, how you have to hold down with an elbow to get the clip going. And the second we got outside, everything was fine. So I think air and water, let&#39;s leave it at that. Air and water. Absolutely. How about another dick joke, huh? Might as well get to that, huh? Like, uh, what&#39;s the difference between a dick and a bonus check? Someone is always down to blow your bonus. Gavin, you&#39;re fired. David: 12:18 Um well, let&#39;s let&#39;s I want to end this uh this opening segment before we move on to our top three on a real down note. Oh I really like to do that. I saw a TikTok, um, which really like it like hurt my soul a little bit, but in a way that I was like, okay, I need to think about things differently. Um, it was basically saying once your kids turn 18 and they let&#39;s say move out of the house for you know college or whatever, um if you see your kids X amount of times per year, if you add up all the days you get to see your kids again after that, before you die at whatever your natural age is, it averages out to be one year. If you add up all the days you see your kids after they turn 18, before you die, it ends up being a year, which is such a fucked up way. I remember seeing a similar thing where it was like, How many times a year do you see your parents? Add that up to how many years you expect them to live, and you go, Oh my God, I have two months left with my mom, or 10 visits or whatever. Gavin: 13:14 Let&#39;s break this down into meaningful terms. We spend a lot of money on our children. This seems like a terrible return on investment. Oh, absolutely. I want my money back. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, having children is a purely financial decision. And then they abandon us. Yeah. Abandon us. We see them for one year, and most of the time they&#39;re annoyed to be with us. And frankly, we&#39;re probably annoyed or disappointed to be with them. And it&#39;s still costing us money for that final year that spans hopefully 40 years of our life. Oh. David: 13:48 You know what? Maybe we shouldn&#39;t have kids, Gavin. Do you think we should maybe rethink this whole thing? Gavin: 13:52 I mean, how often have you said, can I get a refund? David: 13:55 But I do think that it is at least good for me to think that way. We&#39;re like, the the time is precious, right? That that&#39;s the thing you have to kind of you have to fast-forward yourself to when you&#39;ll miss the things and try to pull some of that energy back when you&#39;re holding two screaming kids and a Toys R Us or whatever. So that was one of those things...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[It&apos;s episode 30(!), and we are celebrating with an ask for our listeners, Gavin&apos;s favorite Dad/dick jokes, and tales of the NYC Blackout, 20 years later. Also, we are joined this week by writer, daddy blogger, and all around ally Jeff Bogle who tries to school Gavin and David on the best ways to cruise. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:20 Right? And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:38 Gavin, it is episode thirty of Gatriarchs. Can you believe that shit? No, I can&#39;t. Gavin: 0:46 We&#39;re in our we&#39;re we&#39;re in our thirties again. Oh, we&#39;re in our thirties again. How cute is that? I&#39;m proud of us. I wondered if we were gonna get to this point. It&#39;s great. Same. David: 0:56 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m very proud of us. We did we we created something where it didn&#39;t exist, and we uh thank all of our listeners for sticking by us as we figured out editing and mics and content and all the things. Gavin: 1:09 So thank you so much for sticking with us. David: 1:12 Yeah, a hundred percent. And we&#39;re gonna spend the next 60 seconds only, and then we&#39;re gonna move on to dick jokes, uh begging you for help because we need visibility, right? Yeah, we are on the internet and everyone is on the internet and everyone wants to listen to their show. Um, and so we need to get in front of people, and the way you can help with that is giving us reviews. And I know we ask it at the end of every episode, and it&#39;s super annoying. Gavin: 1:35 If you&#39;ve listened that far, yes, just a quick reminder we always do ask for the reviews. David: 1:39 Yeah, but like reviews and sharing our posts and just interacting with our content. I know everyone asks that and it&#39;s so annoying, but it&#39;s the only way we can grow, and we&#39;re growing because we&#39;re growers and showers. Gavin: 1:49 Uh, we but we&#39;re asking you to show a little more to help us grow. David: 1:53 Oh, look at you bringing that around. That was really cute. So, anyway, our 60 seconds are up. That&#39;s our plea. If you can somehow share the show with people you think that might like the show, we would so appreciate it. So we can continue to make the millions and millions and millions of dollars that we make on the show. Gavin: 2:09 The millions. But as we all know, like with Amazon reviews and whatnot, it doesn&#39;t take much time and it actually may makes a huge difference. And now back to dick jokes. Like, I&#39;m not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great. David: 2:23 It&#39;s just a dad and dick joke. It is the perfect Gateriarch&#39;s joke. Gavin: 2:29 There we go. David: 2:30 I mean, that&#39;s a good joke. Gavin: 2:32 I I I appreciate that. I just came up with it on the spot. David: 2:35 So another uh milestone, uh other than it&#39;s episode 30 for us, is that it&#39;s the 20th anniversary of the New York City blackout. Do you remember the blackout gave him? Gavin: 2:45 Yes. I can&#39;t believe that was 20 years ago. Maybe it was 20 years. It does feel like yesterday. It was in the dark ages, pun intended, but it was a long time ago. David: 2:54 And also, there are probably listeners who were like, I wasn&#39;t alive 20 years ago. And I wasn&#39;t sure. Let&#39;s hope so. Unsubscribe. Gavin: 3:01 Um, but that said, first give us a five-star review and then unsubscribe, please. David: 3:06 And email us some dick pics at Gatarkspodcast at gmail.com. Anyway, uh, I was just thinking about where I was during the blackout because it was kind of like one of those big generational things where like September 11th or, you know, whatever, where you&#39;re like, where were you during that? So, Gavin, I&#39;m curious. I didn&#39;t know you 20 years ago. Where were you? Gavin: 3:21 Well, it it definitely is a uh a generational moment for the those of us who were there. I would imagine people in Oklahoma City were not thinking about the uh blackout. But my story there, listen, I&#39;m so full of fantasti]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[It&apos;s episode 30(!), and we are celebrating with an ask for our listeners, Gavin&apos;s favorite Dad/dick jokes, and tales of the NYC Blackout, 20 years later. Also, we are joined this week by writer, daddy blogger, and all around ally Jeff Bogle who tries to school Gavin and David on the best ways to cruise. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:20 Right? And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:38 Gavin, it is episode thirty of Gatriarchs. Can you believe that shit? No, I can&#39;t. Gavin: 0:46 We&#39;re in our we&#39;re we&#39;re in our thirties again. Oh, we&#39;re in our thirties again. How cute is that? I&#39;m proud of us. I wondered if we were gonna get to this point. It&#39;s great. Same. David: 0:56 Yeah, no, I&#39;m I&#39;m very proud of us. We did we we created something where it didn&#39;t exist, and we uh thank all of our listeners for sticking by us as we figured out editing and mics and content and all the things. Gavin: 1:09 So thank you so much for sticking with us. David: 1:12 ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Papa Forge aka RainbowDads</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-papa-forge-aka-rainbowdads/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 06 Sep 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s teeth graduate from Invisalign jail, Gavin joins the &#34;mile-high and annoyed club,&#34; and we talk to all 6&apos;3&#34; of Papa Forge aka RainbowDads about the Buffalo Bills, his booming social media presence, and that one time  he came for the leader of the Proud Boys Gavin McInnes at CVS. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I know it&#39;s uh oh no no I I I&#39;m with you entirely. David: 0:02 Uh I d Sorry, I just shit on your something great. That&#39;s okay. I mean listen, you&#39;ve shit on a lot of things in life. This is one of the less gross things. And this is gatriarch. So today is a very big day for me, Gavin. Oh, just here in the middle of August. It&#39;s technically September 6th. Whoops. If you would look at your outline. Oh, yep, it&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. So today I get, after a year and a half, I get my Invisalign done and taken off my teeth, and I just have regular person teeth from now on. Gavin: 0:58 It is like you are 12 years old all over again. David: 1:02 I never had braces and because I have perfect teeth, obviously. And um, I&#39;ve never had to deal with this, but like it is it at first it was fine, and then my like month six, I was like, get these plastic pieces out of my mouth, or I&#39;m going to walk into traffic. Gavin: 1:19 I have to admit, I don&#39;t understand what a visaline is. I mean, are you wearing a retainer for a year constantly? Can you eat with them? David: 1:26 So they&#39;re like plastic trays that go over your upper and lower mouth, which is kind of like a retainer. They&#39;re just plastic trays and then they change every week. So every week they they move your teeth a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. So whenever you eat, you have to take them out. Okay. And then when you&#39;re done eating, you brush your teeth and put them back in, which is super fucking annoying. I brush my teeth like six times a day. So much brushing. It&#39;s so much brushing, but it it&#39;s just it&#39;s either that or regular braces where they just stay on your teeth forever. Um, or not forever, but for the same time. So anyway, uh, today&#39;s my graduation. After we finish recording this episode, I&#39;m gonna go to my orthodontist and shout out to Bronson and Clark Orthodontics. They are amazing and they have been my besties for a year and a half, but bye-bye. Gavin: 2:05 Uh does this mean you think maybe we can get a podcast sponsorship from them? We&#39;re influencers, and you&#39;re helping Brownstein and Barron. What is their name again? David: 2:13 Well, that&#39;s not gonna help if you can&#39;t even pronounce their name right. Gavin: 2:16 You know what? I&#39;m gonna um lean into vulnerabilities right now and tell you that I have my own tooth issue going on right now. Uh-oh. So I was um a couple weeks ago, I was eating a carrot in the car, and suddenly I felt something really hard. And I thought, oh, something was wedged inside my carrot, and I&#39;m going to sue them. The tiny baby carrot company, and I&#39;m gonna become a billionaire by doing the most American thing possible, which is blaming somebody else for my problems and suing them. David: 2:41 That fascinates me. Gavin: 2:43 And it was actually a broken crown. And so, like, think of your teeth as having four little points. One of my points broke off, right? So I go to the dentist, and I ever super commented dentist, and she&#39;s like, you know what? Believe it or not, that if you don&#39;t have any pain, and I feel no pain, if you don&#39;t have any pain, I think you can just live with this, so don&#39;t worry about it. So I&#39;m like, okay, fine. I&#39;m traveling last week and I was eating a bowl of granola, and I suddenly felt, once again, something massive in my mouth. And I&#39;m like, And you&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna sue the granularity. I&#39;m gonna sue the granola company. Yes, I&#39;m absolutely gonna become a billionaire by suing a granola, suing a granola company. What happened? The rest of my crown came off. So one of my teeth is just a metal post sticking up. That is it. Imagine like I just like a pole. I have a metal pole sticking up in my tooth. I but listen, I was traveling, I wasn&#39;t gonna deal with it for a few days, and it hasn&#39;t actually bothered me. David: 3:40 So you&#39;re at the age where you are falling off of you. Do you understand what you&#39;re saying here? I do. Parts of you, it&#39;s just falling off. Gavin: 3:50 Listen, David, just you wait. Just you wait. David: 3:53 So wait, I want to say one more surprise thing that happened to me this week, which I have never personally experienced as a parent, which is surprising because I have a four-year-old and an almost two-year-old. I feel like I&#39;ve experienced all of it. Gavin: 4:04 You are uh you are a certified expert, yes. David: 4:08 Well, so I&#39;m I&#39;m bathing my daughter, she&#39;s one and a half, and she&#39;s you know standing in the bathtub and playing with shit, and I&#39;m texting as a really good dad, and so it&#39;s just a normal night. And then it just gets quiet in the way where it&#39;s like loud, quiet, and I look over to her and she&#39;s just and I&#39;m like, you&#39;re not pooping. Because I&#39;ve to date never had a poop in a bathtub. In six combined years, I&#39;ve never had a poop in a bathtub. And I look behind her and there&#39;s no poop, and I&#39;m like, okay, maybe she&#39;s just whatever. And then I sit back down and then I hear bloop. And I went, oh god. And I look back and there&#39;s a little nugget in the toilet in the bathtub. I&#39;m like, wow, first time for me. I reach in, I fish it out. Like it&#39;s just awful. Like you do, like you do. I throw it in the thing, I wash my hands, I then I rebathe her. Yeah, sure. And then we continue to play. I sit back down, I&#39;m texting. We&#39;re she&#39;s playing with her toys for about 10 minutes, and then it&#39;s time to get up. So I stand up to like push the button to let the water structure drain out, and scattered throughout the entire tub are it looks like the lunar man landscape. There are just little nuggets of shit all throughout the bathtub. She has secretly been shitting the whole time. Gavin: 5:18 And I just were texting. David: 5:20 As I was texting like a really good parent. So now my little I had to raach one nugget out and throw in the toilet. Now I&#39;ve got like 15 to deal with. Yay. Anyway, so uh I have graduated now. I&#39;ve graduated from my teeth being normal, and now I&#39;ve graduated into poop in a bathtub uh experience, which was a lot of fun. Gavin: 5:39 So I&#39;ll definitely have to write down to uh regale you with poop in the bathtub stories another time, but let&#39;s not overdo it with our poop stories, huh? David: 5:47 So last month was my son&#39;s birthday, and one of the things I didn&#39;t really understand or figure out yet, and I need your advice on is when it&#39;s their birthday and they have like a daycare birthday where there&#39;s like a hundred kids there, you receive so many fucking presents from all kinds of people, not only presents from like grandmas and all that kind of stuff. We have, by the way, never bought our children any presents ever because they didn&#39;t do many already. Right. But good call. So we when we came home, we had like literally 25 presents. Uh-huh. And we didn&#39;t know what to do. Do we let him open them all and then be overwhelmed? Do we take we kind of thin out 15 of them that he doesn&#39;t even see and that we re-gift or return back to Target? Like, what is the process? Do we give him one present a day for the next month? Like, we we didn&#39;t know what to do. What we ended up doing was like he could open like two or three a night. The problem was he would open one and he&#39;d go, This is cool. I want to play with it. And we&#39;d have to say, No, you have to open another present. You have to like what a fuck up. We have to get through these. I know what a fucked up capitalist, like over eating like fucking metaphor. Gavin: 6:54 Consumerist bullshit. Yeah. David: 6:55 Yeah. So I we didn&#39;t know what to do. And now he has this giant pile of presents that every day he&#39;s like, I want to open a new one, I want to open a new one. And he would have been so satisfied with three. Three. Yep. He would have loved three presents. So I&#39;m trying to figure out like so last year for his third birthday, we told everyone no gifts. Just no gifts. Like, we don&#39;t need anything. Please don&#39;t get us gifts. And like half of the people did anyway. This year we just kind of were like, whatever, if you want to bring us a gift, you can. And it was, it&#39;s, it&#39;s so much. So I don&#39;t know what to do. What do I do? Gavin: 7:24 Well, first of all, let&#39;s start a movement, huh? Let&#39;s start a social movement and uh end the tyranny of overgifting. Uh, I mean, what if I like just imagine how many, you know, a nice couple hundred dollars of chunks of change from like$15 per person that just says, hey, we&#39;re just gonna put this into a college fund and let it grow from ages one, two, three, and maybe four. I mean, that would be so great to just. David: 7:46 Or what I would love too is it&#39;s not as romantic, but as like the parents go, hey, we want to buy Emmett a playground set. The playground set costs$350. Yeah. Will you put money? Everyone puts$5 towards it. And then we give them the playground set and set all of your friends helped you get this. Yeah. That is another way. It&#39;s not as fun as the giver, but God, as the parent, oh, please don&#39;t give me another set of points and markers. Gavin: 8:11 Do you think anybody would get up be offended that you&#39;re just specifying, hey, just give me money instead and put it towards especially when you&#39;re that&#39;s what I mean. Is like there&#39;s no right way out of it. Just give me 10 bucks instead of 25, you know? David: 8:22 But there&#39;s there&#39;s no that&#39;s what I mean. There&#39;s no right way out of this. So it&#39;s we&#39;re just so we&#39;re just bathing in presents, and he still hasn&#39;t opened them all. Gavin: 8:29 It is bonkers, and it just sets him up for so much expectations and entitlement. David: 8:34 And I want to constantly lower the bar for everyone in my life. For my husband, for my my children. I want them to expect very little from me. Gavin: 8:43 Because everything is easier when you have no expectations and are basically accustomed to constant disappointment. Yes. And it&#39;s gonna make us all more resilient, especially your kids. So I think you should work on that. Speaking of um disappointment and annoyance, um, so I was very, very, very, very fortunate to have made better friends than you in my life. Wow. Who are who um have been more, shall we say, professionally successful. Wow. And I have a friend who got a box for the Taylor Swift concert in Los Angeles. Wow. And invited my daughter and then me as a plus one. So I admit all of her many, many months of complaining and actually sorrowful tears, single tears running down her face as she&#39;s the only person in the entire state of Connecticut who hadn&#39;t seen Taylor Swift. You probably saw that. We ended up um flying out to LA, which is uh absolutely absurd, but we did get kind of reasonable prizes on the ticket. David: 9:43 Are you spending all of your like big podcast money on all these flights? Is that where you&#39;re getting it? Gavin: 9:48 It&#39;s been big enough that I, you know, I&#39;m I still have some walking around money afterwards, so it&#39;s all right. Anyway, point is let me just jump to the of course the concert was amazing. And Tay Tay, come on, she she knows how to deliver. But uh there I was, I had the realization saying to my buddy, hey, do you think that this concert is for them, the kids, or is it for us? And he was like, dude, this is absolutely for us, which I embraced wholeheartedly, and suddenly I was the one catwalking and dancing for my fucking life and embarrassing my daughter to the nth degree. Every other parent there, because it was a mix of uh obviously uh uh parents and kids, um, all of the uh parents got to dance alongside their kids at one point, and the kids were like, Yay, mommy, yay, daddy, shake it off, you know. So I snuck down for a specific song of um my daughter&#39;s to dance with her, and she goes, No, daddy, no, no, no, no, no. Seriously, seriously, seriously, daddy. And she&#39;s doing it. We&#39;re in a screaming concert, and she&#39;s like, she&#39;s pursed her lips together to look like she&#39;s not freaking out. But she&#39;s like, Daddy, no, no, seriously, daddy, no, no, please. And I was like, oh no, no, I&#39;m doing this. And so we dance together for like one song. And by dance together, I mean she basically had her back to me the entire time, and I was wedged between her and a wall. You&#39;re like, I&#39;ve performed on Broadway. I have, girl, I am fun, I have rhythm, I am not an embarrassment to society, and I&#39;m tall, and I&#39;m wearing guy liner. Come on. And um, so afterwards we debriefed it, and I did actually say to her in a very calm moment, I was like, hey, and I did this not just out of my own insecurity, although there was plenty of insecurity involved, but I was like, sweetie, you know, everybody, all of the other parents got to dance together with their kids, and it didn&#39;t seem like an embarrassment. And I want to, I know that we have fun together, and I want to be able to, you know, have fun with you in times like that. So let me know what I can do so that you&#39;re not like totally annoyed by me. Because believe it or not, I&#39;m I&#39;m fun and tall. But I&#39;m I am fun. David: 12:03 I love that we&#39;ve kind of created tall as like the like like the side, like tall is now a little bit of an insult. Tall is like means you&#39;re not funny. Gavin: 12:13 Well, thank you to our friend who shall remain nameless in this because we don&#39;t want to give her too much credit for having uh labeled me tall and not funny. David: 12:21 But uh so But isn&#39;t embarrassing your teenage daughter just like part of like the world, like how it goes? Gavin: 12:28 Yes, when I brought that up, I when I brought this up, I said, listen, uh sweetie, I know that my job is to annoy you and also feed you and keep you housed and keep you educated, and your job is to be annoyed by me. That&#39;s fine. We can be cool with that. But also, we had had such a good time, frankly, traveling back and forth. So anyway, she did say, Well, Dad, you know, sometimes I&#39;m just like standing there bouncing, and you bring out like full choreography that&#39;s 20 years old. David: 13:00 Which honestly, pretty accurate, right? Like you&#39;re still bringing out that like 1997. Gavin: 13:07 I mean, I&#39;m not exactly doing the Roger Rabbit, but if I were, it would be ironic and funny, right? But she, you know, I appreciated that she did articulate it and she didn&#39;t blow me off entirely. Like, she she figured out a reason that made her uncomfortable. And so I was like, okay, well, then I will tone down. But I had been raging that night. I had a great time, and um, and yeah, probably all the kids were embarrassed by me. But yeah, but guess what? The concert was more for me than for her, so I had a great fucking time. David: 13:42 Well, that&#39;s all that really matters, honestly. Your daughter is yeah, that&#39;s a that&#39;s that&#39;s second to your personal uh enjoyment. Um well that I&#39;m jealous. That sounds amazing. Thank you. Um I&#39;m gonna be amazing. Gavin: 13:52 It was it was I was very lucky. Thank you for saying that. It was um it was a blast. Let&#39;s move to our top three list, which I know was kind of a like a funky kind of uh list. The top three list was basically what are the three most memorable outfits from your childhood? And the reason I wanted to bring that up is because I feel like we all have those moments of remembering some absurd thing we wore....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s teeth graduate from Invisalign jail, Gavin joins the &#34;mile-high and annoyed club,&#34; and we talk to all 6&apos;3&#34; of Papa Forge aka RainbowDads about the Buffalo Bills, his booming social media presence, and that one tim]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s teeth graduate from Invisalign jail, Gavin joins the &#34;mile-high and annoyed club,&#34; and we talk to all 6&apos;3&#34; of Papa Forge aka RainbowDads about the Buffalo Bills, his booming social media presence, and that one time  he came for the leader of the Proud Boys Gavin McInnes at CVS. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I know it&#39;s uh oh no no I I I&#39;m with you entirely. David: 0:02 Uh I d Sorry, I just shit on your something great. That&#39;s okay. I mean listen, you&#39;ve shit on a lot of things in life. This is one of the less gross things. And this is gatriarch. So today is a very big day for me, Gavin. Oh, just here in the middle of August. It&#39;s technically September 6th. Whoops. If you would look at your outline. Oh, yep, it&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. So today I get, after a year and a half, I get my Invisalign done and taken off my teeth, and I just have regular person teeth from now on. Gavin: 0:58 It is like you are 12 years old all over again. David: 1:02 I never had braces and because I have perfect teeth, obviously. And um, I&#39;ve never had to deal with this, but like it is it at first it was fine, and then my like month six, I was like, get these plastic pieces out of my mouth, or I&#39;m going to walk into traffic. Gavin: 1:19 I have to admit, I don&#39;t understand what a visaline is. I mean, are you wearing a retainer for a year constantly? Can you eat with them? David: 1:26 So they&#39;re like plastic trays that go over your upper and lower mouth, which is kind of like a retainer. They&#39;re just plastic trays and then they change every week. So every week they they move your teeth a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. So whenever you eat, you have to take them out. Okay. And then when you&#39;re done eating, you brush your teeth and put them back in, which is super fucking annoying. I brush my teeth like six times a day. So much brushing. It&#39;s so much brushing, but it it&#39;s just it&#39;s either that or regular braces where they just stay on your teeth forever. Um, or not forever, but for the same time. So anyway, uh, today&#39;s my graduation. After we finish recording this episode, I&#39;m gonna go to my orthodontist and shout out to Bronson and Clark Orthodontics. They are amazing and they have been my besties for a year and a half, but bye-bye. Gavin: 2:05 Uh does this mean you think maybe we can get a podcast sponsorship from them? We&#39;re influencers, and you&#39;re helping Brownstein and Barron. What is their name again? David: 2:13 Well, that&#39;s not gonna help if you can&#39;t even pronounce their name right. Gavin: 2:16 You know what? I&#39;m gonna um lean into vulnerabilities right now and tell you that I have my own tooth issue going on right now. Uh-oh. So I was um a couple weeks ago, I was eating a carrot in the car, and suddenly I felt something really hard. And I thought, oh, something was wedged inside my carrot, and I&#39;m going to sue them. The tiny baby carrot company, and I&#39;m gonna become a billionaire by doing the most American thing possible, which is blaming somebody else for my problems and suing them. David: 2:41 That fascinates me. Gavin: 2:43 And it was actually a broken crown. And so, like, think of your teeth as having four little points. One of my points broke off, right? So I go to the dentist, and I ever super commented dentist, and she&#39;s like, you know what? Believe it or not, that if you don&#39;t have any pain, and I feel no pain, if you don&#39;t have any pain, I think you can just live with this, so don&#39;t worry about it. So I&#39;m like, okay, fine. I&#39;m traveling last week and I was eating a bowl of granola, and I suddenly felt, once again, something massive in my mouth. And I&#39;m like, And you&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna sue the granularity. I&#39;m gonna sue the granola company. Yes, I&#39;m absolutely gonna become a billionaire by suing a granola, suing a granola company. What happened? The rest of my crown came off. So one of my teeth is just a metal post sticking up. That is it. Imagine like I just like a pole. I have a metal pole sticking up in my tooth. I but listen, I was traveling, I wasn&#39;t gonna deal with it for a few days, and it hasn&#39;t actually bothered me. David: 3:40 So you&#39;re at the age where you are falling off of you. Do you understand what you&#39;re saying here? I do. Parts of you, it&#39;s just falling off. Gavin: 3:50 Listen, David, just you wait. Just you wait. David: 3:53 So wait, I want to say one more surprise thing that happened to me this week, which I have never personally experienced as a parent, which is surprising because I have a four-year-old and an almost two-year-old. I feel like I&#39;ve experienced all of it. Gavin: 4:04 You are uh you are a certified expert, yes. David: 4:08 Well, so I&#39;m I&#39;m bathing my daughter, she&#39;s one and a half, and she&#39;s you know standing in the bathtub and playing with shit, and I&#39;m texting as a really good dad, and so it&#39;s just a normal night. And then it just gets quiet in the way where it&#39;s like loud, quiet, and I look over to her and she&#39;s just and I&#39;m like, you&#39;re not pooping. Because I&#39;ve to date never had a poop in a bathtub. In six combined years, I&#39;ve never had a poop in a bathtub. And I look behind her and there&#39;s no poop, and I&#39;m like, okay, maybe she&#39;s just whatever. And then I sit back down and then I hear bloop. And I went, oh god. And I look back and there&#39;s a little nugget in the toilet in the bathtub. I&#39;m like, wow, first time for me. I reach in, I fish it out. Like it&#39;s just awful. Like you do, like you do. I throw it in the thing, I wash my hands, I then I rebathe her. Yeah, sure. And then we continue to play. I sit back down, I&#39;m texting. We&#39;re she&#39;s playing with her toys for about 10 minutes, and then it&#39;s time to get up. So I stand up to like push the button to let the water structure drain out, and scattered throughout the entire tub are it looks like the lunar man landscape. There are just little nuggets of shit all throughout the bathtub. She has secretly been shitting the whole time. Gavin: 5:18 And I just were texting. David: 5:20 As I was texting like a really good parent. So now my little I had to raach one nugget out and throw in the toilet. Now I&#39;ve got like 15 to deal with. Yay. Anyway, so uh I have graduated now. I&#39;ve graduated from my teeth being normal, and now I&#39;ve graduated into poop in a bathtub uh experience, which was a lot of fun. Gavin: 5:39 So I&#39;ll definitely have to write down to uh regale you with poop in the bathtub stories another time, but let&#39;s not overdo it with our poop stories, huh? David: 5:47 So last month was my son&#39;s birthday, and one of the things I didn&#39;t really understand or figure out yet, and I need your advice on is when it&#39;s their birthday and they have like a daycare birthday where there&#39;s like a hundred kids there, you receive so many fucking presents from all kinds of people, not only presents from like grandmas and all that kind of stuff. We have, by the way, never bought our children any presents ever because they didn&#39;t do many already. Right. But good call. So we when we came home, we had like literally 25 presents. Uh-huh. And we didn&#39;t know what to do. Do we let him open them all and then be overwhelmed? Do we take we kind of thin out 15 of them that he doesn&#39;t even see and that we re-gift or return back to Target? Like, what is the process? Do we give him one present a day for the next month? Like, we we didn&#39;t know what to do. What we ended up doing was like he could open like two or three a night. The problem was he would open one and he&#39;d go, This is cool. I want to play with it. And we&#39;d have to say, No, you have to open another present. You have to like what a fuck up. We have to get through these. I know what a fucked up capitalist, like over eating like fucking metaphor. Gavin: 6:54 Consumerist bullshit. Yeah. David: 6:55 Yeah. So I we didn&#39;t know what to do. And now he has this giant pile of presents that every day he&#39;s like, I want to open a new one, I want to open a new one. And he would have been so satisfied with three. Three. Yep. He would have loved three presents. So I&#39;m trying to figure out like so last year for his third birthday, we told everyone no gifts. Just no gifts. Like, we don&#39;t need anything. Please don&#39;t get us gifts. And like half of the people did anyway. This year we just kind of were like, whatever, if you want to bring us a gift, you can. And it was, it&#39;s, it&#39;s so much. So I don&#39;t know what to do. What do I do? Gavin: 7:24 Well, first of all, let&#39;s start a movement, huh? Let&#39;s start a social movement and uh end the tyranny of overgifting. Uh, I mean, what if I like just imagine how many, you know, a nice couple hundred dollars of chunks of change from like$15 per person that just says, hey, we&#39;re just gonna put this into a college fund and let it grow from ages one, two, three, and maybe four. I mean, that would be so great to just. David: 7:46 Or what I would love too is it&#39;s not as romantic, but as like the parents go, hey, we want to buy Emmett a playground set. The playground set costs$350. Yeah. Will you put money? Everyone puts$5 towards it. And then we give them the playground set and set all of your friends helped you get this. Yeah. That is another way. It&#39;s not as fun as the giver, but God, as the parent, oh, please don&#39;t give me another set of points and markers. Gavin: 8:11 Do you think anybody would get up be offended that you&#39;re just specifying, hey, just give me money instead and put it towards especially when you&#39;re that&#39;s what I mean. Is like there&#39;s no right way out of it. Just give me 10 bucks instead of 25, you know? David: 8:22 But there&#39;s there&#39;s no that&#39;s what I mean. There&#39;s no right way out of this. So it&#39;s we&#39;re just so we&#39;re just bathing in presents, and he still hasn&#39;t opened them all. Gavin: 8:29 It is bonkers, and it just sets him up for so much expectations and entitlement. David: 8:34 And I want to constantly lower the bar for everyone in my life. For my husband, for my my children. I want them to expect very little from me. Gavin: 8:43 Because everything is easier when you have no expectations and are basically accustomed to constant disappointment. Yes. And it&#39;s gonna make us all more resilient, especially your kids. So I think you should work on that. Speaking of um disappointment and annoyance, um, so I was very, very, very, very fortunate to have made better friends than you in my life. Wow. Who are who um have been more, shall we say, professionally successful. Wow. And I have a friend who got a box for the Taylor Swift concert in Los Angeles. Wow. And invited my daughter and then me as a plus one. So I admit all of her many, many months of complaining and actually sorrowful tears, single tears running down her face as she&#39;s the only person in the entire state of Connecticut who hadn&#39;t seen Taylor Swift. You probably saw that. We ended up um flying out to LA, which is uh absolutely absurd, but we did get kind of reasonable prizes on the ticket. David: 9:43 Are you spending all of your like big podcast money on all these flights? Is that where you&#39;re getting it? Gavin: 9:48 It&#39;s been big enough that I, you know, I&#39;m I still have some walking around money afterwards, so it&#39;s all right. Anyway, point is let me just jump to the of course the concert was amazing. And Tay Tay, come on, she she knows how to deliver. But uh there I was, I had the realization saying to my buddy, hey, do you think that this concert is for them, the kids, or is it for us? And he was like, dude, this is absolutely for us, which I embraced wholeheartedly, and suddenly I was the one catwalking and dancing for my fucking life and embarrassing my daughter to the nth degree. Every other parent there, because it was a mix of uh obviously uh uh parents and kids, um, all of the uh parents got to dance alongside their kids at one point, and the kids were like, Yay, mommy, yay, daddy, shake it off, you know. So I snuck down for a specific song of um my daughter&#39;s to dance with her, and she goes, No, daddy, no, no, no, no, no. Seriously, seriously, seriously, daddy. And she&#39;s doing it. We&#39;re in a screaming concert, and she&#39;s like, she&#39;s pursed her lips together to look like she&#39;s not freaking out. But she&#39;s like, Daddy, no, no, seriously, daddy, no, no, please. And I was like, oh no, no, I&#39;m doing this. And so we dance together for like one song. And by dance together, I mean she basically had her back to me the entire time, and I was wedged between her and a wall. You&#39;re like, I&#39;ve performed on Broadway. I have, girl, I am fun, I have rhythm, I am not an embarrassment to society, and I&#39;m tall, and I&#39;m wearing guy liner. Come on. And um, so afterwards we debriefed it, and I did actually say to her in a very calm moment, I was like, hey, and I did this not just out of my own insecurity, although there was plenty of insecurity involved, but I was like, sweetie, you know, everybody, all of the other parents got to dance together with their kids, and it didn&#39;t seem like an embarrassment. And I want to, I know that we have fun together, and I want to be able to, you know, have fun with you in times like that. So let me know what I can do so that you&#39;re not like totally annoyed by me. Because believe it or not, I&#39;m I&#39;m fun and tall. But I&#39;m I am fun. David: 12:03 I love that we&#39;ve kind of created tall as like the like like the side, like tall is now a little bit of an insult. Tall is like means you&#39;re not funny. Gavin: 12:13 Well, thank you to our friend who shall remain nameless in this because we don&#39;t want to give her too much credit for having uh labeled me tall and not funny. David: 12:21 But uh so But isn&#39;t embarrassing your teenage daughter just like part of like the world, like how it goes? Gavin: 12:28 Yes, when I brought that up, I when I brought this up, I said, listen, uh sweetie, I know that my job is to annoy you and also feed you and keep you housed and keep you educated, and your job is to be annoyed by me. That&#39;s fine. We can be cool with that. But also, we had had such a good time, frankly, traveling back and forth. So anyway, she did say, Well, Dad, you know, sometimes I&#39;m just like standing there bouncing, and you bring out like full choreography that&#39;s 20 years old. David: 13:00 Which honestly, pretty accurate, right? Like you&#39;re still bringing out that like 1997. Gavin: 13:07 I mean, I&#39;m not exactly doing the Roger Rabbit, but if I were, it would be ironic and funny, right? But she, you know, I appreciated that she did articulate it and she didn&#39;t blow me off entirely. Like, she she figured out a reason that made her uncomfortable. And so I was like, okay, well, then I will tone down. But I had been raging that night. I had a great time, and um, and yeah, probably all the kids were embarrassed by me. But yeah, but guess what? The concert was more for me than for her, so I had a great fucking time. David: 13:42 Well, that&#39;s all that really matters, honestly. Your daughter is yeah, that&#39;s a that&#39;s that&#39;s second to your personal uh enjoyment. Um well that I&#39;m jealous. That sounds amazing. Thank you. Um I&#39;m gonna be amazing. Gavin: 13:52 It was it was I was very lucky. Thank you for saying that. It was um it was a blast. Let&#39;s move to our top three list, which I know was kind of a like a funky kind of uh list. The top three list was basically what are the three most memorable outfits from your childhood? And the reason I wanted to bring that up is because I feel like we all have those moments of remembering some absurd thing we wore....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s teeth graduate from Invisalign jail, Gavin joins the &#34;mile-high and annoyed club,&#34; and we talk to all 6&apos;3&#34; of Papa Forge aka RainbowDads about the Buffalo Bills, his booming social media presence, and that one time  he came for the leader of the Proud Boys Gavin McInnes at CVS. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I know it&#39;s uh oh no no I I I&#39;m with you entirely. David: 0:02 Uh I d Sorry, I just shit on your something great. That&#39;s okay. I mean listen, you&#39;ve shit on a lot of things in life. This is one of the less gross things. And this is gatriarch. So today is a very big day for me, Gavin. Oh, just here in the middle of August. It&#39;s technically September 6th. Whoops. If you would look at your outline. Oh, yep, it&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. So today I get, after a year and a half, I get my Invisalign done and taken off my teeth, and I just have regular person teeth from now on. Gavin: 0:58 It is like you are 12 years old all over again. David: 1:02 I never had braces and because I have perfect teeth, obviously. And um, I&#39;ve never had to deal with this, but like it is it at first it was fine, and then my like month six, I was like, get these plastic pieces out of my mouth, or I&#39;m going to walk into traffic. Gavin: 1:19 I have to admit, I don&#39;t understand what a visaline is. I mean, are you wearing a retainer for a year constantly? Can you eat with them? David: 1:26 So they&#39;re like plastic trays that go over your upper and lower mouth, which is kind of like a retainer. They&#39;re just plastic trays and then they change every week. So every week they they move your teeth a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. So whenever you eat, you have to take them out. Okay. And then when you&#39;re done eating, you brush your teeth and put them back in, which is super fucking annoying. I brush my teeth like six times a day. So much brushing. It&#39;s so much brushing, but it it&#39;s just it&#39;s either that or regular braces where they just stay on your teeth forever. Um, or not forever, but for the same time. So anyway, uh, today&#39;s my graduation. After we finish recording this episode, I&#39;m gonna go to my orthodontist and shout out to Bronson and Clark Orthodontics. They are amazing and they have been my besties for a year and a half, but bye-bye. Gavin: 2:05 Uh does this mean you think maybe we can get a podcast sponsorship from them? We&#39;re influencers, and you&#39;re helping Brownstein and Barron. What is their name again? David: 2:13 Well, that&#39;s not gonna help if you can&#39;t even pronounce their name right. Gavin: 2:16 You know what? I&#39;m gonna um lean into vulnerabilities right now and tell you that I have my own tooth issue going on right now. Uh-oh. So I was um a couple weeks ago, I was eating a carrot in the car, and suddenly I felt something really hard. And I thought, oh, something was wedged inside my carrot, and I&#39;m going to sue them. The tiny baby carrot company, and I&#39;m gonna become a billionaire by doing the most American thing possible, which is blaming somebody else for my problems and suing them. David: 2:41 That fascinates me. Gavin: 2:43 And it was actually a broken crown. And so, like, think of your teeth as having four little points. One of my points broke off, right? So I go to the dentist, and I ever super commented dentist, and she&#39;s like, you know what? Believe it or not, that if you don&#39;t have any pain, and I feel no pain, if you don&#39;t have any pain, I think you can just live with this, so don&#39;t worry about it. So I&#39;m like, okay, fine. I&#39;m traveling last week and I was eating a bowl of granola, and I suddenly felt, once again, something massive in my mouth. And I&#39;m like, And you&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna sue the granularity. I&#39;m gonna sue the granola company. Yes, I&#39;m absolutely gonna become a billionaire by suing a granola, suing a ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s teeth graduate from Invisalign jail, Gavin joins the &#34;mile-high and annoyed club,&#34; and we talk to all 6&apos;3&#34; of Papa Forge aka RainbowDads about the Buffalo Bills, his booming social media presence, and that one time  he came for the leader of the Proud Boys Gavin McInnes at CVS. 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I know it&#39;s uh oh no no I I I&#39;m with you entirely. David: 0:02 Uh I d Sorry, I just shit on your something great. That&#39;s okay. I mean listen, you&#39;ve shit on a lot of things in life. This is one of the less gross things. And this is gatriarch. So today is a very big day for me, Gavin. Oh, just here in the middle of August. It&#39;s technically September 6th. Whoops. If you would look at your outline. Oh, yep, it&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. It&#39;s right there. So today I get, after a year and a half, I get my Invisalign done and taken off my teeth, and I just have regular person teeth from now on. Gavin: 0:58 ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with DILFS of Disneyland</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-dilfs-of-disneyland/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 30 Aug 2023 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13372372</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_03: 0:01 Precisely. David: 0:04 I set you I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just squatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. SPEAKER_03: 0:20 So and this is K-Track. Gavin: 0:36 Gavin, where the fuck are you? Guess what, I&#39;ve gone home. I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I have regressed. I&#39;m back in my childhood home. I mean, the hometown. And yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 1:19 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain, she&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 1:30 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading another. I read an article. I remember seeing an article, I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. SPEAKER_03: 2:00 Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. It&#39;s that tracks. David: 2:10 But he wants to eat Madonna out, and you want to take Madonna out to eat, so it&#39;s a little different. Gavin: 2:17 I just want to vote it out, baby. So, yes, I&#39;m in a closet. Where are you, David? David: 2:22 Where are you? I&#39;m home. I&#39;m I&#39;m in my basement as usual with my new mic, which I&#39;m still thank you. Thank you all out there, A, for being listeners, but B for being patient with us and me in particular with editing and sound and everything. I&#39;m getting better, I swear. It&#39;s still a little bit, but yeah, so I&#39;m in my my basement getting ready for uh uh my kiddo&#39;s birthday, which theoretically happened a month ago if you&#39;re listening to this. But uh I I definitely had one of those parenting moments this morning that was like so so shameful, but we&#39;re like, my my daughter was just just being just the worst. You know what I mean? Like we your kids just wake up and they&#39;ve chosen violence. And um, she uh she&#39;s just kind of I&#39;m holding her and she was just like thrashing. So I put her down and she started crying, and I just like walked away from her. And I I mumbled under my breath, or maybe if you weren&#39;t such a bitch all the time. And I was like, oh David, you are a you are such a grown ass man. Look at you, just whispering under your breath, um, mean things to your daughter, but like But she didn&#39;t hear it, nor would she even understand it if she heard it. Gavin: 3:24 No, right. David: 3:24 It was this was a me this was a me moment only. It was like, David, did you just call a an 18-month-old a fucking bitch? Sure did. So that&#39;s that&#39;s sure. That&#39;s the level of parenting I&#39;m at today. Gavin: 3:35 Did you feel any sense of relief having done it? Just saying something really naughty to just make yourself just like it&#39;s like a shit. Just shame. Okay. David: 3:42 Just shame that I couldn&#39;t handle an 18-month-old like wiggling in my arms, really. So I need a mental health day, is really what I need. Gavin: 3:50 Okay, well, here we are to record, and uh you&#39;ve got that mental health going, and I cannot wait. Talking to our guest later, I think, is gonna be the all the mental health break we need. We won&#39;t get there to till just yet. Um, well, I mean, I&#39;ve uh uh because I&#39;m traveling right now, I am traveling solo, so I got to have that incredible experience of being in an airplane for hours on end, and all I did was work the entire time, but it was very productive. I loved it. I didn&#39;t need to watch a movie. I didn&#39;t, I I was totally antisocial and worked the entire time, and I&#39;m like, this is my spa time. I had my mental health break in um an airplane coming out to Denver. It was fantastic. David: 4:28 Isn&#39;t it weird the things that you say when you&#39;re a parent where you&#39;re like, oh man, I got to I got to fly in a plane by myself. And nonparents are like, what the fuck? What why why is that? Or or the big one, which is like when you put your kid in the car seat and you close the door and you have that long walk around the car of just pure fucking vacation. Yes, right? Like these moments. Yeah, yeah. I watched three movies in a row on the plane home from Scotland. Three movies in a row. And I was like, this this hasn&#39;t this can never happen again. Gavin: 4:58 I actually thought you were gonna say I watched three movies in a row while walking around the back of the car the other day, um, going from putting my kid in the in the car seat to the driver&#39;s seat, and you just take your sweet ass time. I mean, what are you gonna do? Leave the window. David: 5:12 And I&#39;m calling from jail because I left them in the car for seven hours. Gavin: 5:17 Speaking of mental health days, David, uh earlier this week my kid is uh doing a summer camp and he um he just didn&#39;t want to go on Monday, and he was absolutely adamant. And he&#39;s my kid who is like doesn&#39;t ask for mental health days, doesn&#39;t pitch a fit about doing stuff. And, you know, uh there are so many times in our household I&#39;m like, we do not quit. If you&#39;re gonna like do a sport, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the season. If you&#39;re gonna do a uh if you&#39;re gonna make a commitment for a semester, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the semester. I don&#39;t care how much you hate it the entire time. This is what the the choice you&#39;ve made, and you&#39;re gonna stick with it. And um, but then you just kind of gotta learn to realize sometimes everybody does need a mental health day. So I let him skip that day of camp. And there were no regrets. It was like me backing down from being like an overly principled asshole, basically. And I&#39;m glad I did it. But then he also came in and said, um, what when we were he was 45 minutes into what should have been camp time, he was absolutely asking for his iPad. And I was like, Oh, oh no, no, no, no, that&#39;s not how this works, dude. That&#39;s not and he&#39;s like, But that&#39;s but that&#39;s the fear, right? David: 6:21 Right away. You you you you&#39;re like, fine, take a day off, stay home from school sick, whatever you want. It&#39;s the fear of like that unlocks some sort of every day. I want this thing now. Because if you could somehow promise, like if you can be promised that, yes, they can stay home from school when they&#39;re sick and play on the iPad all day, but it&#39;s not gonna become a thing, then it I would be way cooler about it. But uh it&#39;s it&#39;s because you just you just wait for it to be like, well, I&#39;m kind of feeling sick today, so maybe I should stay home and eat pancakes all day. And it&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s that&#39;s what I do. Gavin: 6:49 Well when you I I make I&#39;ve I&#39;m sure we have talked about this at some point, but far be it for me to not repeat myself on this podcast, but I make sick days miserable for my kids. I mean, if they if they have a fever and if they have barfed, in that case, I&#39;m like, yes, you lay on the couch and you watch all the movies you want and you drink all the orange juice and you eat all the pancakes. But usually my kids are never sick like that. They&#39;re just like, and then we ain&#39;t gonna school. I make those days absolutely miserable. I choose that battle and I lean into it hardcore. David: 7:18 So do you I learned something the other day. I don&#39;t this doesn&#39;t apply to anything we&#39;ve talked about whatsoever, but I wanted to mention it because maybe you knew this and I didn&#39;t. Do you know what growing pains are? Aside from a mediocre sitcom from the 80s and 90s, starring which had a great last episode. Um, no, growing pains is like I I had always heard like when you know when your child is growing and their body gets bigger, it&#39;s sometimes painful to them as their bones grow or whatever. Gavin: 7:45 And yeah, yeah, yeah. And so my knees hurt when I was a kid and and hurt now, because I&#39;m not a kid. Growing pains, do they go for geriatrics as well? David: 7:55 I&#39;ll have I&#39;ll have to ask your your your home nurse. But um so our my son had been getting up in the middle of the night like crying and saying, like, my ankle hurts, like my shin hurts. And so we were like, I wonder if that&#39;s growing pain. So we like looked up growing pains and it was like typically occurs in the middle of the night. We&#39;ll wake the kid up. And I was like, Oh, and it basically said, No, the growing pains are not your children&#39;s bones growing and it hurts your kids. That is just a total fucking myth that everybody believes. Yeah, they were like, that&#39;s not how it happens. It&#39;s just literally your kid worked out a lot or like ran a lot or whatever, and their muscles are tired, they&#39;re childhood says. No, it I I looked it up. Gavin: 8:33 I&#39;m telling you, I looked it up. I&#39;m sure I am sure, I am sure that the doctor said to me, You are having in puberty. I was 15 or something, and I&#39;m like, my knees hurt or something. And they&#39;re like, it&#39;s probably puberty growing pains. David: 8:44 And I was like, the guy who pumps your gas at the gas station is not a doctor, Gacon. I don&#39;t know how many times I have to tell you this. I but you know, uh he sure knew how to prescribe drugs. So yeah, the boner pills you got at the checkout when you bought your lottery ticket is not when I was fi right, when I was 15. Gavin: 9:01 It&#39;s been a long road, y&#39;all, here in Denver. David: 9:04 But yeah, no, so it&#39;s not growing pains are not those, they&#39;re not actual what you think. They&#39;re they&#39;re just literally like, oh, he has a muscle spasm or whatever. Um, but anyway, that was something I learned and is not helpful to any of the listeners or entertaining. So enjoy everyone. This is Gate You. Gavin: 9:19 I have I ever talked about toy rentals or pet rentals before? I don&#39;t think so. Okay. Um just you talk about a lot of things, but I also don&#39;t listen. So and so even if I&#39;m repeating it, you&#39;re not you&#39;re not even aware. That&#39;s fine. Timothy will catch it. So I was reminded. Um, so we have a uh pet hamster that is definitely on its last legs. By the way, the hamster the hamster has some kind of growth that is um impeding its walking. Uh it&#39;s it&#39;s like uh bulbous and blue and purple, and I&#39;m sure, I am sure that my sorry everybody with PETA, but the hamster&#39;s like two and a half years old. I know it&#39;s not gonna be around for much longer, honestly. And um it&#39;s having a hard time walking. David: 10:03 Throw it into a lake or something. Gavin: 10:05 Anyway. Anyway, um, I am reminded, I mean, of course, of course, my kids, I don&#39;t know if your kids are to this degree yet, but my kids want pets all the time. We cannot we it we have finally grown out of um going to pet co or pets murder, whatever, and not having tears as we leave because they&#39;re so upset they left a bird behind, or they didn&#39;t get to get that fish, or they didn&#39;t get to get that hamster, or like, God forbid, the um what are those uh ferrets or any rodent of any kind. Anyway, we&#39;ve had many pets. And um, but I just feel like, God, it would be such a great business model to have a pet rental service. Like, your kid wants an animal and you know that they&#39;re only going to take care of it for two days, so why can&#39;t you just rent a hamster for a week and then by the time the kid has completely forgotten about it, just go return the hamster, right? I mean, I realized no companies would actually make any money, except I would still spend probably the same$30 I did to buy that stupid little hairy mouse and have the pleasure of giving it back after a week or two. No, dude, I told you this is all your responsibility. You three-year-old, this is your responsibility to deal with the this hamster entirely yourself. And within two weeks, you know they&#39;re not gonna pay attention to it anymore. And so, whatever, you it disappears in the middle of the night. Oh, little fuzzy. David: 11:26 Or you can be really fucking dark and be like, yeah, the hamster died because you didn&#39;t feed it. I had to bury it in the front yard, and you just bury like a chicken wing or something. unknown: 11:36 Right. Gavin: 11:37 With a popsicle stick marking where where Coco died. Yeah, well, anyway, I I I think that if somebody&#39;s out there, listen, I&#39;m not gonna start this business. I do not have the capacity, like the physical garage space to have six ferrets, ten rats, four cats, and eight dogs to just loan to people. But God, I think that&#39;s a great business model. David: 11:57 I feel like people might might utilize that business for for bad things. So we&#39;re gonna have to really make sure our clients are just in it for petting a hamster. You said I&#39;m dark, twisted mind. It&#39;s important to think about all these things with a business plan. You&#39;ve got to think about all the things. Like somebody&#39;s just gonna say, like, can I borrow that goat, please? I&#39;m like, why? I need to know why you need this goat. I don&#39;t want the goat to come back with dilated pupils and just looking like it&#39;s all war. I don&#39;t need PTSD. Gavin: 12:27 Goat PTSD. I mean, there would be an ironclad contract in all shapes and sizes that say you cannot abuse this animal because that&#39;s all of that. But but you you know that there would be protesters. We&#39;re gonna have protesters now. Please, somebody protest us. Give us the attention. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 Protest us. Gavin: 12:42 Yeah. Moving on to the top three. David, um, tell it remind us what the top three is. David: 12:48 So this week we have the top three things that can just get off your lawn. Get off my lawn. Just get off. We&#39;re we&#39;re old men now, so we get to like we get to yell at things, we get to yell at the neighborhood kids, we get to yell at things to get off our lawn. Gavin: 13:02 So um, do you see yourself in a rocking chair when you&#39;re yelling um to get off the lawn? Absolutely. All of that? Absolutely. David: 13:09 Yeah, yeah. Like in the rural south for some reason and like the late 70s. I don&#39;t know why. But yeah, no, for sure. All right, so this is mine, so I will go first. So in number three thing that can get off my lawn, airline groups. Here&#39;s why. The idea of like, oh, you&#39;re group one, two, three, or four, great. I understand it, I get it. We&#39;re gonna start with group one, we&#39;re...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&a]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_03: 0:01 Precisely. David: 0:04 I set you I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just squatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. SPEAKER_03: 0:20 So and this is K-Track. Gavin: 0:36 Gavin, where the fuck are you? Guess what, I&#39;ve gone home. I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I have regressed. I&#39;m back in my childhood home. I mean, the hometown. And yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 1:19 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain, she&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 1:30 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading another. I read an article. I remember seeing an article, I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. SPEAKER_03: 2:00 Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. It&#39;s that tracks. David: 2:10 But he wants to eat Madonna out, and you want to take Madonna out to eat, so it&#39;s a little different. Gavin: 2:17 I just want to vote it out, baby. So, yes, I&#39;m in a closet. Where are you, David? David: 2:22 Where are you? I&#39;m home. I&#39;m I&#39;m in my basement as usual with my new mic, which I&#39;m still thank you. Thank you all out there, A, for being listeners, but B for being patient with us and me in particular with editing and sound and everything. I&#39;m getting better, I swear. It&#39;s still a little bit, but yeah, so I&#39;m in my my basement getting ready for uh uh my kiddo&#39;s birthday, which theoretically happened a month ago if you&#39;re listening to this. But uh I I definitely had one of those parenting moments this morning that was like so so shameful, but we&#39;re like, my my daughter was just just being just the worst. You know what I mean? Like we your kids just wake up and they&#39;ve chosen violence. And um, she uh she&#39;s just kind of I&#39;m holding her and she was just like thrashing. So I put her down and she started crying, and I just like walked away from her. And I I mumbled under my breath, or maybe if you weren&#39;t such a bitch all the time. And I was like, oh David, you are a you are such a grown ass man. Look at you, just whispering under your breath, um, mean things to your daughter, but like But she didn&#39;t hear it, nor would she even understand it if she heard it. Gavin: 3:24 No, right. David: 3:24 It was this was a me this was a me moment only. It was like, David, did you just call a an 18-month-old a fucking bitch? Sure did. So that&#39;s that&#39;s sure. That&#39;s the level of parenting I&#39;m at today. Gavin: 3:35 Did you feel any sense of relief having done it? Just saying something really naughty to just make yourself just like it&#39;s like a shit. Just shame. Okay. David: 3:42 Just shame that I couldn&#39;t handle an 18-month-old like wiggling in my arms, really. So I need a mental health day, is really what I need. Gavin: 3:50 Okay, well, here we are to record, and uh you&#39;ve got that mental health going, and I cannot wait. Talking to our guest later, I think, is gonna be the all the mental health break we need. We won&#39;t get there to till just yet. Um, well, I mean, I&#39;ve uh uh because I&#39;m traveling right now, I am traveling solo, so I got to have that incredible experience of being in an airplane for hours on end, and all I did was work the entire time, but it was very productive. I loved it. I didn&#39;t need to watch a movie. I didn&#39;t, I I was totally antisocial and worked the entire time, and I&#39;m like, this is my spa time. I had my mental health break in um an airplane coming out to Denver. It was fantastic. David: 4:28 Isn&#39;t it weird the things that you say when you&#39;re a parent where you&#39;re like, oh man, I got to I got to fly in a plane by myself. And nonparents are like, what the fuck? What why why is that? Or or the big one, which is like when you put your kid in the car seat and you close the door and you have that long walk around the car of just pure fucking vacation. Yes, right? Like these moments. Yeah, yeah. I watched three movies in a row on the plane home from Scotland. Three movies in a row. And I was like, this this hasn&#39;t this can never happen again. Gavin: 4:58 I actually thought you were gonna say I watched three movies in a row while walking around the back of the car the other day, um, going from putting my kid in the in the car seat to the driver&#39;s seat, and you just take your sweet ass time. I mean, what are you gonna do? Leave the window. David: 5:12 And I&#39;m calling from jail because I left them in the car for seven hours. Gavin: 5:17 Speaking of mental health days, David, uh earlier this week my kid is uh doing a summer camp and he um he just didn&#39;t want to go on Monday, and he was absolutely adamant. And he&#39;s my kid who is like doesn&#39;t ask for mental health days, doesn&#39;t pitch a fit about doing stuff. And, you know, uh there are so many times in our household I&#39;m like, we do not quit. If you&#39;re gonna like do a sport, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the season. If you&#39;re gonna do a uh if you&#39;re gonna make a commitment for a semester, you&#39;re gonna do it through the end of the semester. I don&#39;t care how much you hate it the entire time. This is what the the choice you&#39;ve made, and you&#39;re gonna stick with it. And um, but then you just kind of gotta learn to realize sometimes everybody does need a mental health day. So I let him skip that day of camp. And there were no regrets. It was like me backing down from being like an overly principled asshole, basically. And I&#39;m glad I did it. But then he also came in and said, um, what when we were he was 45 minutes into what should have been camp time, he was absolutely asking for his iPad. And I was like, Oh, oh no, no, no, no, that&#39;s not how this works, dude. That&#39;s not and he&#39;s like, But that&#39;s but that&#39;s the fear, right? David: 6:21 Right away. You you you you&#39;re like, fine, take a day off, stay home from school sick, whatever you want. It&#39;s the fear of like that unlocks some sort of every day. I want this thing now. Because if you could somehow promise, like if you can be promised that, yes, they can stay home from school when they&#39;re sick and play on the iPad all day, but it&#39;s not gonna become a thing, then it I would be way cooler about it. But uh it&#39;s it&#39;s because you just you just wait for it to be like, well, I&#39;m kind of feeling sick today, so maybe I should stay home and eat pancakes all day. And it&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s that&#39;s what I do. Gavin: 6:49 Well when you I I make I&#39;ve I&#39;m sure we have talked about this at some point, but far be it for me to not repeat myself on this podcast, but I make sick days miserable for my kids. I mean, if they if they have a fever and if they have barfed, in that case, I&#39;m like, yes, you lay on the couch and you watch all the movies you want and you drink all the orange juice and you eat all the pancakes. But usually my kids are never sick like that. They&#39;re just like, and then we ain&#39;t gonna school. I make those days absolutely miserable. I choose that battle and I lean into it hardcore. David: 7:18 So do you I learned something the other day. I don&#39;t this doesn&#39;t apply to anything we&#39;ve talked about whatsoever, but I wanted to mention it because maybe you knew this and I didn&#39;t. Do you know what growing pains are? Aside from a mediocre sitcom from the 80s and 90s, starring which had a great last episode. Um, no, growing pains is like I I had always heard like when you know when your child is growing and their body gets bigger, it&#39;s sometimes painful to them as their bones grow or whatever. Gavin: 7:45 And yeah, yeah, yeah. And so my knees hurt when I was a kid and and hurt now, because I&#39;m not a kid. Growing pains, do they go for geriatrics as well? David: 7:55 I&#39;ll have I&#39;ll have to ask your your your home nurse. But um so our my son had been getting up in the middle of the night like crying and saying, like, my ankle hurts, like my shin hurts. And so we were like, I wonder if that&#39;s growing pain. So we like looked up growing pains and it was like typically occurs in the middle of the night. We&#39;ll wake the kid up. And I was like, Oh, and it basically said, No, the growing pains are not your children&#39;s bones growing and it hurts your kids. That is just a total fucking myth that everybody believes. Yeah, they were like, that&#39;s not how it happens. It&#39;s just literally your kid worked out a lot or like ran a lot or whatever, and their muscles are tired, they&#39;re childhood says. No, it I I looked it up. Gavin: 8:33 I&#39;m telling you, I looked it up. I&#39;m sure I am sure, I am sure that the doctor said to me, You are having in puberty. I was 15 or something, and I&#39;m like, my knees hurt or something. And they&#39;re like, it&#39;s probably puberty growing pains. David: 8:44 And I was like, the guy who pumps your gas at the gas station is not a doctor, Gacon. I don&#39;t know how many times I have to tell you this. I but you know, uh he sure knew how to prescribe drugs. So yeah, the boner pills you got at the checkout when you bought your lottery ticket is not when I was fi right, when I was 15. Gavin: 9:01 It&#39;s been a long road, y&#39;all, here in Denver. David: 9:04 But yeah, no, so it&#39;s not growing pains are not those, they&#39;re not actual what you think. They&#39;re they&#39;re just literally like, oh, he has a muscle spasm or whatever. Um, but anyway, that was something I learned and is not helpful to any of the listeners or entertaining. So enjoy everyone. This is Gate You. Gavin: 9:19 I have I ever talked about toy rentals or pet rentals before? I don&#39;t think so. Okay. Um just you talk about a lot of things, but I also don&#39;t listen. So and so even if I&#39;m repeating it, you&#39;re not you&#39;re not even aware. That&#39;s fine. Timothy will catch it. So I was reminded. Um, so we have a uh pet hamster that is definitely on its last legs. By the way, the hamster the hamster has some kind of growth that is um impeding its walking. Uh it&#39;s it&#39;s like uh bulbous and blue and purple, and I&#39;m sure, I am sure that my sorry everybody with PETA, but the hamster&#39;s like two and a half years old. I know it&#39;s not gonna be around for much longer, honestly. And um it&#39;s having a hard time walking. David: 10:03 Throw it into a lake or something. Gavin: 10:05 Anyway. Anyway, um, I am reminded, I mean, of course, of course, my kids, I don&#39;t know if your kids are to this degree yet, but my kids want pets all the time. We cannot we it we have finally grown out of um going to pet co or pets murder, whatever, and not having tears as we leave because they&#39;re so upset they left a bird behind, or they didn&#39;t get to get that fish, or they didn&#39;t get to get that hamster, or like, God forbid, the um what are those uh ferrets or any rodent of any kind. Anyway, we&#39;ve had many pets. And um, but I just feel like, God, it would be such a great business model to have a pet rental service. Like, your kid wants an animal and you know that they&#39;re only going to take care of it for two days, so why can&#39;t you just rent a hamster for a week and then by the time the kid has completely forgotten about it, just go return the hamster, right? I mean, I realized no companies would actually make any money, except I would still spend probably the same$30 I did to buy that stupid little hairy mouse and have the pleasure of giving it back after a week or two. No, dude, I told you this is all your responsibility. You three-year-old, this is your responsibility to deal with the this hamster entirely yourself. And within two weeks, you know they&#39;re not gonna pay attention to it anymore. And so, whatever, you it disappears in the middle of the night. Oh, little fuzzy. David: 11:26 Or you can be really fucking dark and be like, yeah, the hamster died because you didn&#39;t feed it. I had to bury it in the front yard, and you just bury like a chicken wing or something. unknown: 11:36 Right. Gavin: 11:37 With a popsicle stick marking where where Coco died. Yeah, well, anyway, I I I think that if somebody&#39;s out there, listen, I&#39;m not gonna start this business. I do not have the capacity, like the physical garage space to have six ferrets, ten rats, four cats, and eight dogs to just loan to people. But God, I think that&#39;s a great business model. David: 11:57 I feel like people might might utilize that business for for bad things. So we&#39;re gonna have to really make sure our clients are just in it for petting a hamster. You said I&#39;m dark, twisted mind. It&#39;s important to think about all these things with a business plan. You&#39;ve got to think about all the things. Like somebody&#39;s just gonna say, like, can I borrow that goat, please? I&#39;m like, why? I need to know why you need this goat. I don&#39;t want the goat to come back with dilated pupils and just looking like it&#39;s all war. I don&#39;t need PTSD. Gavin: 12:27 Goat PTSD. I mean, there would be an ironclad contract in all shapes and sizes that say you cannot abuse this animal because that&#39;s all of that. But but you you know that there would be protesters. We&#39;re gonna have protesters now. Please, somebody protest us. Give us the attention. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 Protest us. Gavin: 12:42 Yeah. Moving on to the top three. David, um, tell it remind us what the top three is. David: 12:48 So this week we have the top three things that can just get off your lawn. Get off my lawn. Just get off. We&#39;re we&#39;re old men now, so we get to like we get to yell at things, we get to yell at the neighborhood kids, we get to yell at things to get off our lawn. Gavin: 13:02 So um, do you see yourself in a rocking chair when you&#39;re yelling um to get off the lawn? Absolutely. All of that? Absolutely. David: 13:09 Yeah, yeah. Like in the rural south for some reason and like the late 70s. I don&#39;t know why. But yeah, no, for sure. All right, so this is mine, so I will go first. So in number three thing that can get off my lawn, airline groups. Here&#39;s why. The idea of like, oh, you&#39;re group one, two, three, or four, great. I understand it, I get it. We&#39;re gonna start with group one, we&#39;re...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_03: 0:01 Precisely. David: 0:04 I set you I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just squatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. SPEAKER_03: 0:20 So and this is K-Track. Gavin: 0:36 Gavin, where the fuck are you? Guess what, I&#39;ve gone home. I&#39;m in my hometown, just outside Denver, Colorado, and I&#39;ve climbed back into the closet. I have regressed. I&#39;m back in my childhood home. I mean, the hometown. And yeah, I&#39;m uh I&#39;m I&#39;m broadcasting from the closet, which when I realized I was getting into the closet to make you know here for the sound uh abilities, because I don&#39;t have my normal uh microphone and whatnot. Um I&#39;m like, the ironies here are just endless. And I am gonna lean into this and be like, we are broadcasting from inside the closet right now. Insert all the jokes here. David: 1:19 Are you gonna start wearing like baggy clothes and like talk about like famous female celebrities that should be hot to you? You&#39;re like, oh man, Shania Twain, she&#39;s so hot. Gavin: 1:30 And everybody knows something is just not right. Just my Madonna obsession, but it&#39;s totally cool, guys, because like dudes like her too. I remember reading another. I read an article. I remember seeing an article, I swear it was in Playboy, insert all the jokes. I uh my neighbor had it, and it was an interview with Axl Rose, who said he was a big Madonna fan in 1986. Or 90, who knows what it was. And I&#39;m like, that&#39;s cool. SPEAKER_03: 2:00 Like, I&#39;m reading a fucking Playboy with an interview on Axl Rose, and he likes Madonna, so that&#39;s cool. It&#39;s that tracks. David: 2:10 But he wants to eat Madonna out, and you want to take Madonna out to eat, so it&#39;s a little different. Gavin: 2:17 I just want to vote it out, baby. So, yes, I&#39;m in a closet. Where are you, David? David: 2:22 Where are you? I&#39;m home. I&#39;m I&#39;m in my basement as usual with my new mic, which I&#39;m still thank you. Thank you all out there, A, for being listeners, but B for being patient with us and me in particular with editing and sound and everything. I&#39;m getting better, I swear. It&#39;s still a little bit, but yeah, so I&#39;m in my my basement getting ready for uh uh my kiddo&#39;s birthday, which theoretically happened a month ago if you&#39;re listening to this. But uh I I definitely had one of those parenting moments this morning that was like so so shameful, but we&#39;re like, my my daughter was just just being just the worst. You know what I mean? Like we your kids just wake up and they&#39;ve chosen violence. And um, she uh she&#39;s just kind of I&#39;m holding her and she was just like thrashing. So I put her down and she started crying, and I just like walked away from her. And I I mumbled under my breath, or maybe if you weren&#39;t such a bitch all the time. And I was like, oh David, you are a you are such a grown ass man. Look at you, just whispering under your breath, um, mean things to your daughter, but like But she didn&#39;t hear it, nor would she even understand it if she heard it. Gavin: 3:24 No, right. David: 3:24 It was this was a me this was a me momen]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David quietly side-eyes his 18 month old, Gavin gives his kids a mental health day, we talk about the top 3 things that can just get off your lawn, and we break news by revealing the Wizard of Oz behind the DILFS of Disneyland page, how they&apos;ve got celebrities asking to be on their page on national TV, and why they&apos;ll never be able to give up DILFS, even if they marry one. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_03: 0:01 Precisely. David: 0:04 I set you I set Gavin, I set you up for a mental health transition into your topic. And you did not, I threw it underhanded, and you just squatted at it with your fingers, and then you let it fall in front of you, and then you asked me where the ball is. SPEAKER_03: 0:20 So and this i]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with the ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-the-ex-mormon-dad-chad-anderson/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 23 Aug 2023 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We begin as we normally do with a discussion about porn, David publicly apologizes to his Mom, we compare our top 3 movies from childhood that don&apos;t hold up, and this week we are joined by ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson who talks about his life growing up in Salt Lake City, his new graphic novel &#34;The Mushroom Murders,&#34; and what he&apos;s learned about parenting from the X-Men. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s part of I think our it&#39;s like double jumped and you and I are either side of the jump rope and we both don&#39;t know and we both tried to jump in and it didn&#39;t work yet. Gavin: 0:12 Yeah. And this is GTRX. David: 0:28 So public apology time. Oh geez. Have we gone that far? Have we jumped the shark? Are we canceled? Well, no, we&#39;re not we are not canceled. I might be canceled. So I it says to my mother, who is a listener, who is the listener. Hey mom, the one hi. Um who would constantly, as I grew up, mix up me and my brother&#39;s names. He would she would call me my brother&#39;s name and my brother me name. And it was always that way. And she would always just stumble over it. And I would always make fun of her. Mom, just get it right. Say David. My name is David. That&#39;s Greg. She&#39;d be like, David, gr, you know, she&#39;d stumble over it. And I&#39;d make fun of her for 43 years. Guess who does that now? Oh, sister, step aside. I do it incessantly. Incessantly. I, if I whether I&#39;m saying nice things or I&#39;m yelling, or I&#39;m or I&#39;m asking questions. Gavin: 1:21 Or looking them directly in the eye, speaking slowly, you still screw the name up. I know that because I do it too. David: 1:30 Yeah, yeah. It must be a parenting thing. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, um, I&#39;m sorry for making fun of you for 43 years for calling me Greg and my brother Greg David. Um uh, but I&#39;m not gonna stop making fun of you for it. Gavin: 1:44 So uh get over My grandmother would go through the entire family, and included family members that were not even in the house at the time, and the dog, which I&#39;m sure that it sounds like such a cliche, and I&#39;m sure plenty of people did it, but really, uh, she would go through the dog before, and she wasn&#39;t even angry. I mean, of course, she was like in her 70s when this happened, or maybe 80s. Um, so give her some credit. But I used to think that is the most absurd thing, and lo and behold, I do it all the time. All the time, looking directly in their faces. David: 2:17 Yeah. I get the names wrong. I know they&#39;re social security numbers, but their names escape me sometimes. Um, one of my superpowers now also is you know, the evolution of porn. So let&#39;s talk about that. Gavin: 2:29 I&#39;m familiar. So I think I believe it was our last episode that we we&#39;ve talked about porn last episode and this episode. David: 2:34 So that&#39;s yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s a very porn-heavy month, uh, August. So I was thinking, I was talking to a friend and we were joking about porn. And I was saying, now that I&#39;m in my 40s, I spend more time following porn stars on their personal like regular accounts, like Instagram, Twitter. Sure, they they they they you know release sexy stuff sometimes, but I I just realized I was like, oh yeah, Seth and his husband, they just got chickens, one of them died. Like, why do I know that about my favorite porn star? But it&#39;s a new world, right? It&#39;s a new world where you don&#39;t just like pop into VHS and watch two people go at it. Now I know the personal lives of some of these people. I&#39;m like, oh yeah, Marco, he&#39;s trying to be a chef, so he started this new like Instagram account about his pasta making. It&#39;s really good, but he needs to like why do I know all of this stuff about porn stars? Gavin: 3:24 That is a fascinating aspect of 2023 where you can both enjoy them professionally and get to know them personally. David: 3:34 But I think that&#39;s 2023, but it&#39;s also 43. Because I think 20-year-old David would not give a shit about Marco starting his own pasta making channel. Gavin: 3:44 I mean, as you&#39;re walking Mark, watching Marco and his pasta making channel, do you see like his hand, his grip on the pasta maker or his it&#39;s not sexual at all. David: 3:53 It&#39;s a separate, it&#39;s like his like day job. He&#39;s like, no, I really like making I&#39;m Italian, I really like making pasta, and maybe I&#39;m gonna start a chef thing. And he like talks and there&#39;s like no crossover. It&#39;s not like he&#39;s doing it shirtless. You know, there&#39;s like crossover accounts who are like you know, hot guys doing random things. No, these are just their normal day-to-day accounts. So anyway, it was just something I was like, this is a new aspect of being in my 40s and being a gay man, is that I am interested in the real lives of my favorite porn stars. Gavin: 4:22 Uh I I feel like there is so much to unpack there because I would feel like you don&#39;t want to necessarily know about their personal lives. Don&#39;t you just want to keep them as fantasy people? Or you&#39;re moving, I mean, you&#39;re hey, you&#39;re just I don&#39;t know. David: 4:35 It&#39;s it&#39;s deepening my love. I think it&#39;s deepening my love. It&#39;s a it&#39;s a more deep, it&#39;s a deeper connection between us, us, me, me, and the person who doesn&#39;t know me at all. Gavin: 4:43 You, you and a social media account for sure. Yeah. Well, not related to that in the slightest bit. Uh, something that has been super interesting over the last couple of days is hey, my kids are awesome, obviously. And my daughter is awesome, obviously. Her taste in movies and basically entertainment consumerism is 100% on brand for her age and age group and time. And that is TikTok videos, obviously. Yeah. And I am very consumed with, preoccupied with, concerned about her attention span, all of the negative aspects of social media, obviously. I&#39;m worried about her consumption, like consumption levels of entertainment. I find myself saying to my kids, please put down your devices and go watch a cartoon that will span half an hour, even if it&#39;s terrible. Disney bad shows, at least there will be a beginning, middle, and an end with really bad storylines and bad acting, but at least there&#39;s a beginning, middle, and end, and it just doesn&#39;t go in 15 seconds. Well, I think I might have uh found a unique solution to this problem, which is my kid is getting into war movies. We watched U571, which you might recall was a Matthew McConaughey submarine movie from the mid-90s. She was riveted by it. David: 6:08 Riveted. I can&#39;t believe she could she could get past the aspect ratio. 90s movies are square, right? Right? They were on square TVs. Gavin: 6:17 Well, it&#39;s it&#39;s impressive to me that she has yes, agreed. There&#39;s that that is one factor. And there&#39;s it&#39;s also there&#39;s a graininess, the CGI is no good, etc. But I&#39;m so I&#39;m impressed that she&#39;s looked completely beyond that. So this week, one kid has actually been away at camp. So uh my son is away at camp. So my daughter and I have We&#39;ve been having basically war movies because my daughter&#39;s really intrigued by it. Now it&#39;s morbid, and she&#39;s asking, but she&#39;s asking questions like, wow, is that what it really was like to see somebody&#39;s head blown off kind of thing? Which is morbid, terrible. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a necessarily age appropriate, and yet at the same time, she&#39;s desensitized to violence, which is bonkers. So the other night I say, Hey, do you want to watch uh All Quiet on the Western Front? Are you familiar with this? I have Netflix. Netflix made All Quiet on the Western Front, which is, I&#39;m sure you know, based upon a classic novel from World War I. It was also, incidentally, I believe the first uh talkie movie, like in the 19 teens. I don&#39;t quote me on that, but there&#39;s something about it, it was a very significant first movie. And um, so anyway, a German company remade All Quiet on the Western Front, which is it&#39;s nothing but trench warfare and people being like their heads being blown up, being chopped to death, being firebombed to death. David: 7:33 It is Gavin, CPS is literally listening to this podcast right now and on their way to your house. Gavin: 7:39 She couldn&#39;t stop watching it. She didn&#39;t seem trend um uh affected by it at all. So, I mean, maybe she&#39;s a psychopath because she went to bed without any nightmares of any kind. She was just curious. She slept, she slept better that night than she&#39;s ever slept in her entire life. But she was totally riveted by like, oh, is this what World War I was like? Is this worse than World War II? Is it where I hear World War II? More people died. It was very compelling. And I was able to stop and lecture her with history lessons, which I as you&#39;re wont to do. Yeah, as I&#39;m wont to do. I was able to be like, oh, by the way, they signed the treaty in the same, uh, in the same car, um, train car as Hitler signed the treaty when France uh capitulated, etc. etc. etc. But at one point she there is a literally a scene where the main character also, the entire movie is in German. She read subtitles of a movie that&#39;s in German. It was bar, it was I was marveling at that. That&#39;s wild. There is one scene where the main character takes a hatchet, he&#39;s German, he chops a Frenchman to death in uh in a in the in the trench, essentially. I mean, it is you know, war survival. We talk so much about survival and what you do in war and et cetera. Were the Germans bad? Well, this German isn&#39;t bad, he&#39;s just trying to survive. Anyway, she chops him. The guy chops the guy with a hatchet for his own survival, let&#39;s be honest. And my daughter turns to me and she goes, Wow, this is like scream, but at another level. I know, I know, great. But what I&#39;m saying is she was really riveted, and I think she had an ex uh, I mean, her mind exploded in a different way as those poor children, those boys fighting on the Western Front&#39;s heads exploded, but not that&#39;s not a good joke. David: 9:26 That&#39;s not a good joke, those poor people. There are monuments dedicated to those people. There are many monuments dedicated to the thing. And we&#39;re on a podcast. They went to war for this country, and we&#39;re on a podcast. Gavin: 9:37 We feel like we&#39;re in the trenches, man. But you watch All Quiet on the Western Front with an 11-year-old girl, and uh man, things get into perspective. David: 9:44 It is amazing that the attention that her intention span even did that because I&#39;m watching my son&#39;s attention span goes. Like he he cannot sit for a half-hour Disney cartoon. He just has to scroll through YouTube, YouTube, YouTube. So that that that is an interesting. That&#39;s it&#39;s glad that she still has that. Gavin: 10:00 Maybe you should introduce war movies with heads exploding, and then we can work on that. I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s been a very interesting aspect this week of uh parenting where she&#39;s riveted by these long ass movies. David: 10:11 So I would do that, but I&#39;m I&#39;m a good parent, so I wouldn&#39;t do that. Um anyway, of course you are. Of course. So um let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Top three. Do you remember what the topic is? Yes, our topic this week is the top three movies or TV shows from your childhood that don&#39;t hold up. Gavin: 10:29 All right. At number three, a movie that I tried to watch a couple of weeks ago with my daughter is believe it or not, Moulin Rouge. Really? If you go back and try to watch that, it is so schizophrenic. It was really, really exciting back in the day. But the rest of the time, my daughter was just like, what is going on here? Now, maybe it was over her head. I don&#39;t know. I it the music isn&#39;t of her generation and whatnot, but it I watched it and I thought, you know what? It was so revolutionary, but we&#39;ve calmed down a little bit since then. It was not a pleasurable experience watching it. Number two, Greece for oh so many reasons. David: 11:05 And you know, you were telling how Greece was a couple weeks ago. Gavin: 11:08 Yes, intern Timothy. I have talked about Greece, but it hasn&#39;t been in my top three before. But being able to watch it with my daughter, who she&#39;s like, what the hell is going on? This makes no sense whatsoever. And why are these old people pretending to be young? And super misogynistic, and makes no sense. And it doesn&#39;t hold up. Everybody&#39;s 40. Yeah, it doesn&#39;t make any sense. And then number one is the Flintstones. I tried to watch, I thought, oh kiddos, it was in the aspect of let&#39;s talk, watch something that&#39;s half an hour long, beginning, middle, and end. We watched it, it was so blatantly racist and dated. I had to turn it off. I I thought we&#39;re not watching this. So um, there you go. Uh, Moulin Rouge, Greece, Flintstones. David: 11:54 How about you? So, and number three for me, Billy Madison. I remember in like, what was it, high school? That was like the most quotable, quote unquote, funniest movie of all time. I can still quote every fucking line and I would say the quotes and people would laugh. You watch that now. It is sans funny. It is the most unfunny, stupid, makes no sense movie. So, number three, Billy Madison. Uh, number two, it&#39;s a great movie, but totally inappropriate for children. Who framed Roger Rabbit? Oh, oh, we haven&#39;t done that. The movie is violent and sexual to the point of like, oh, like this is for grown-ups. Like the there are cartoon characters in it who are like bludgeoning each other to death. And there&#39;s like sex and like it, yeah, it it&#39;s it&#39;s a lot of things. Gavin: 12:47 It sounds a lot like All Quiet on the Western Front with the Windows. David: 12:50 Yeah, which you are showing to your wicked eyes. I&#39;d like to watch. Uh, and number one for me, the the TV show that uh under no circumstances should I or any children have ever watched, Ren and Stenpy. Oh did you ever watch that show? Gavin: 13:06 Yes, I did, but I was also not a child. David: 13:09 Is a fucking meth-induced psychotic dream. It is so messed up and dark. And I I I recently watched it back because somebody was talking about it, and I was like, oh yeah, under no circumstances should I have ever watch this. So that does not hold up. All right, yeah. So next week, we are gonna do our top three things that can get off your lawn. unknown: 13:36 All right. Gavin: 13:36 Top three three, top three things that can just get off my fucking lawn. Get off my lawn. Alrighty. Our next guest entirely defines a multi-hyphenate. He&#39;s a writer, he&#39;s a thirst trap maker, he&#39;s an adventure seeker, he&#39;s a comic book nerd, he&#39;s also a comic book celebrity, former sexually biological breeder, wow, graphic novel author, podcaster, non-practicing Mormon, and of course, father of two. Please welcome to the podcast, Chad Anderson. Chad, how have your kids driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_02: 14:15 You know, uh my my youngest just turned 12 yesterday. And they woke up at 1 a.m. and came into my room. That still happens? Oh god. Shook me awake and said, Dad, I&#39;m sorry to wake you up, but I can&#39;t sleep. And I said, Okay, go lay back down then. And they did and slept the rest of the night, and I was up for like two hours. Gavin: 14:40 Because you&#39;re no longer in your 20s, and yeah, once you&#39;re up at one in the morning, you&#39;re your mind starts going and you don&#39;t stop. SPEAKER_02: 14:48 Sleep is elusive, man, and it&#39;s a hundred fucking degrees outside. David: 14:51 And also, don&#39;t drag me into your bullshit. If you can&#39;t sleep, you can&#39;t sleep. Don&#39;t make me not sleep. Go read a fucking book. Go read a fucking book. Gavin: 15:00 Well, you know what? Before we start talking about really sexy comic books and comic book characters and whatnot, I think one of the most endearing things about your parenting journey that I&#39;ve seen on Instagram is actually is I think you have a monthly adventure theme going with...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We begin as we normally do with a discussion about porn, David publicly apologizes to his Mom, we compare our top 3 movies from childhood that don&apos;t hold up, and this week we are joined by ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson who talks about his life growing]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We begin as we normally do with a discussion about porn, David publicly apologizes to his Mom, we compare our top 3 movies from childhood that don&apos;t hold up, and this week we are joined by ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson who talks about his life growing up in Salt Lake City, his new graphic novel &#34;The Mushroom Murders,&#34; and what he&apos;s learned about parenting from the X-Men. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s part of I think our it&#39;s like double jumped and you and I are either side of the jump rope and we both don&#39;t know and we both tried to jump in and it didn&#39;t work yet. Gavin: 0:12 Yeah. And this is GTRX. David: 0:28 So public apology time. Oh geez. Have we gone that far? Have we jumped the shark? Are we canceled? Well, no, we&#39;re not we are not canceled. I might be canceled. So I it says to my mother, who is a listener, who is the listener. Hey mom, the one hi. Um who would constantly, as I grew up, mix up me and my brother&#39;s names. He would she would call me my brother&#39;s name and my brother me name. And it was always that way. And she would always just stumble over it. And I would always make fun of her. Mom, just get it right. Say David. My name is David. That&#39;s Greg. She&#39;d be like, David, gr, you know, she&#39;d stumble over it. And I&#39;d make fun of her for 43 years. Guess who does that now? Oh, sister, step aside. I do it incessantly. Incessantly. I, if I whether I&#39;m saying nice things or I&#39;m yelling, or I&#39;m or I&#39;m asking questions. Gavin: 1:21 Or looking them directly in the eye, speaking slowly, you still screw the name up. I know that because I do it too. David: 1:30 Yeah, yeah. It must be a parenting thing. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, um, I&#39;m sorry for making fun of you for 43 years for calling me Greg and my brother Greg David. Um uh, but I&#39;m not gonna stop making fun of you for it. Gavin: 1:44 So uh get over My grandmother would go through the entire family, and included family members that were not even in the house at the time, and the dog, which I&#39;m sure that it sounds like such a cliche, and I&#39;m sure plenty of people did it, but really, uh, she would go through the dog before, and she wasn&#39;t even angry. I mean, of course, she was like in her 70s when this happened, or maybe 80s. Um, so give her some credit. But I used to think that is the most absurd thing, and lo and behold, I do it all the time. All the time, looking directly in their faces. David: 2:17 Yeah. I get the names wrong. I know they&#39;re social security numbers, but their names escape me sometimes. Um, one of my superpowers now also is you know, the evolution of porn. So let&#39;s talk about that. Gavin: 2:29 I&#39;m familiar. So I think I believe it was our last episode that we we&#39;ve talked about porn last episode and this episode. David: 2:34 So that&#39;s yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s a very porn-heavy month, uh, August. So I was thinking, I was talking to a friend and we were joking about porn. And I was saying, now that I&#39;m in my 40s, I spend more time following porn stars on their personal like regular accounts, like Instagram, Twitter. Sure, they they they they you know release sexy stuff sometimes, but I I just realized I was like, oh yeah, Seth and his husband, they just got chickens, one of them died. Like, why do I know that about my favorite porn star? But it&#39;s a new world, right? It&#39;s a new world where you don&#39;t just like pop into VHS and watch two people go at it. Now I know the personal lives of some of these people. I&#39;m like, oh yeah, Marco, he&#39;s trying to be a chef, so he started this new like Instagram account about his pasta making. It&#39;s really good, but he needs to like why do I know all of this stuff about porn stars? Gavin: 3:24 That is a fascinating aspect of 2023 where you can both enjoy them professionally and get to know them personally. David: 3:34 But I think that&#39;s 2023, but it&#39;s also 43. Because I think 20-year-old David would not give a shit about Marco starting his own pasta making channel. Gavin: 3:44 I mean, as you&#39;re walking Mark, watching Marco and his pasta making channel, do you see like his hand, his grip on the pasta maker or his it&#39;s not sexual at all. David: 3:53 It&#39;s a separate, it&#39;s like his like day job. He&#39;s like, no, I really like making I&#39;m Italian, I really like making pasta, and maybe I&#39;m gonna start a chef thing. And he like talks and there&#39;s like no crossover. It&#39;s not like he&#39;s doing it shirtless. You know, there&#39;s like crossover accounts who are like you know, hot guys doing random things. No, these are just their normal day-to-day accounts. So anyway, it was just something I was like, this is a new aspect of being in my 40s and being a gay man, is that I am interested in the real lives of my favorite porn stars. Gavin: 4:22 Uh I I feel like there is so much to unpack there because I would feel like you don&#39;t want to necessarily know about their personal lives. Don&#39;t you just want to keep them as fantasy people? Or you&#39;re moving, I mean, you&#39;re hey, you&#39;re just I don&#39;t know. David: 4:35 It&#39;s it&#39;s deepening my love. I think it&#39;s deepening my love. It&#39;s a it&#39;s a more deep, it&#39;s a deeper connection between us, us, me, me, and the person who doesn&#39;t know me at all. Gavin: 4:43 You, you and a social media account for sure. Yeah. Well, not related to that in the slightest bit. Uh, something that has been super interesting over the last couple of days is hey, my kids are awesome, obviously. And my daughter is awesome, obviously. Her taste in movies and basically entertainment consumerism is 100% on brand for her age and age group and time. And that is TikTok videos, obviously. Yeah. And I am very consumed with, preoccupied with, concerned about her attention span, all of the negative aspects of social media, obviously. I&#39;m worried about her consumption, like consumption levels of entertainment. I find myself saying to my kids, please put down your devices and go watch a cartoon that will span half an hour, even if it&#39;s terrible. Disney bad shows, at least there will be a beginning, middle, and an end with really bad storylines and bad acting, but at least there&#39;s a beginning, middle, and end, and it just doesn&#39;t go in 15 seconds. Well, I think I might have uh found a unique solution to this problem, which is my kid is getting into war movies. We watched U571, which you might recall was a Matthew McConaughey submarine movie from the mid-90s. She was riveted by it. David: 6:08 Riveted. I can&#39;t believe she could she could get past the aspect ratio. 90s movies are square, right? Right? They were on square TVs. Gavin: 6:17 Well, it&#39;s it&#39;s impressive to me that she has yes, agreed. There&#39;s that that is one factor. And there&#39;s it&#39;s also there&#39;s a graininess, the CGI is no good, etc. But I&#39;m so I&#39;m impressed that she&#39;s looked completely beyond that. So this week, one kid has actually been away at camp. So uh my son is away at camp. So my daughter and I have We&#39;ve been having basically war movies because my daughter&#39;s really intrigued by it. Now it&#39;s morbid, and she&#39;s asking, but she&#39;s asking questions like, wow, is that what it really was like to see somebody&#39;s head blown off kind of thing? Which is morbid, terrible. I don&#39;t think it&#39;s a necessarily age appropriate, and yet at the same time, she&#39;s desensitized to violence, which is bonkers. So the other night I say, Hey, do you want to watch uh All Quiet on the Western Front? Are you familiar with this? I have Netflix. Netflix made All Quiet on the Western Front, which is, I&#39;m sure you know, based upon a classic novel from World War I. It was also, incidentally, I believe the first uh talkie movie, like in the 19 teens. I don&#39;t quote me on that, but there&#39;s something about it, it was a very significant first movie. And um, so anyway, a German company remade All Quiet on the Western Front, which is it&#39;s nothing but trench warfare and people being like their heads being blown up, being chopped to death, being firebombed to death. David: 7:33 It is Gavin, CPS is literally listening to this podcast right now and on their way to your house. Gavin: 7:39 She couldn&#39;t stop watching it. She didn&#39;t seem trend um uh affected by it at all. So, I mean, maybe she&#39;s a psychopath because she went to bed without any nightmares of any kind. She was just curious. She slept, she slept better that night than she&#39;s ever slept in her entire life. But she was totally riveted by like, oh, is this what World War I was like? Is this worse than World War II? Is it where I hear World War II? More people died. It was very compelling. And I was able to stop and lecture her with history lessons, which I as you&#39;re wont to do. Yeah, as I&#39;m wont to do. I was able to be like, oh, by the way, they signed the treaty in the same, uh, in the same car, um, train car as Hitler signed the treaty when France uh capitulated, etc. etc. etc. But at one point she there is a literally a scene where the main character also, the entire movie is in German. She read subtitles of a movie that&#39;s in German. It was bar, it was I was marveling at that. That&#39;s wild. There is one scene where the main character takes a hatchet, he&#39;s German, he chops a Frenchman to death in uh in a in the in the trench, essentially. I mean, it is you know, war survival. We talk so much about survival and what you do in war and et cetera. Were the Germans bad? Well, this German isn&#39;t bad, he&#39;s just trying to survive. Anyway, she chops him. The guy chops the guy with a hatchet for his own survival, let&#39;s be honest. And my daughter turns to me and she goes, Wow, this is like scream, but at another level. I know, I know, great. But what I&#39;m saying is she was really riveted, and I think she had an ex uh, I mean, her mind exploded in a different way as those poor children, those boys fighting on the Western Front&#39;s heads exploded, but not that&#39;s not a good joke. David: 9:26 That&#39;s not a good joke, those poor people. There are monuments dedicated to those people. There are many monuments dedicated to the thing. And we&#39;re on a podcast. They went to war for this country, and we&#39;re on a podcast. Gavin: 9:37 We feel like we&#39;re in the trenches, man. But you watch All Quiet on the Western Front with an 11-year-old girl, and uh man, things get into perspective. David: 9:44 It is amazing that the attention that her intention span even did that because I&#39;m watching my son&#39;s attention span goes. Like he he cannot sit for a half-hour Disney cartoon. He just has to scroll through YouTube, YouTube, YouTube. So that that that is an interesting. That&#39;s it&#39;s glad that she still has that. Gavin: 10:00 Maybe you should introduce war movies with heads exploding, and then we can work on that. I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s been a very interesting aspect this week of uh parenting where she&#39;s riveted by these long ass movies. David: 10:11 So I would do that, but I&#39;m I&#39;m a good parent, so I wouldn&#39;t do that. Um anyway, of course you are. Of course. So um let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Top three. Do you remember what the topic is? Yes, our topic this week is the top three movies or TV shows from your childhood that don&#39;t hold up. Gavin: 10:29 All right. At number three, a movie that I tried to watch a couple of weeks ago with my daughter is believe it or not, Moulin Rouge. Really? If you go back and try to watch that, it is so schizophrenic. It was really, really exciting back in the day. But the rest of the time, my daughter was just like, what is going on here? Now, maybe it was over her head. I don&#39;t know. I it the music isn&#39;t of her generation and whatnot, but it I watched it and I thought, you know what? It was so revolutionary, but we&#39;ve calmed down a little bit since then. It was not a pleasurable experience watching it. Number two, Greece for oh so many reasons. David: 11:05 And you know, you were telling how Greece was a couple weeks ago. Gavin: 11:08 Yes, intern Timothy. I have talked about Greece, but it hasn&#39;t been in my top three before. But being able to watch it with my daughter, who she&#39;s like, what the hell is going on? This makes no sense whatsoever. And why are these old people pretending to be young? And super misogynistic, and makes no sense. And it doesn&#39;t hold up. Everybody&#39;s 40. Yeah, it doesn&#39;t make any sense. And then number one is the Flintstones. I tried to watch, I thought, oh kiddos, it was in the aspect of let&#39;s talk, watch something that&#39;s half an hour long, beginning, middle, and end. We watched it, it was so blatantly racist and dated. I had to turn it off. I I thought we&#39;re not watching this. So um, there you go. Uh, Moulin Rouge, Greece, Flintstones. David: 11:54 How about you? So, and number three for me, Billy Madison. I remember in like, what was it, high school? That was like the most quotable, quote unquote, funniest movie of all time. I can still quote every fucking line and I would say the quotes and people would laugh. You watch that now. It is sans funny. It is the most unfunny, stupid, makes no sense movie. So, number three, Billy Madison. Uh, number two, it&#39;s a great movie, but totally inappropriate for children. Who framed Roger Rabbit? Oh, oh, we haven&#39;t done that. The movie is violent and sexual to the point of like, oh, like this is for grown-ups. Like the there are cartoon characters in it who are like bludgeoning each other to death. And there&#39;s like sex and like it, yeah, it it&#39;s it&#39;s a lot of things. Gavin: 12:47 It sounds a lot like All Quiet on the Western Front with the Windows. David: 12:50 Yeah, which you are showing to your wicked eyes. I&#39;d like to watch. Uh, and number one for me, the the TV show that uh under no circumstances should I or any children have ever watched, Ren and Stenpy. Oh did you ever watch that show? Gavin: 13:06 Yes, I did, but I was also not a child. David: 13:09 Is a fucking meth-induced psychotic dream. It is so messed up and dark. And I I I recently watched it back because somebody was talking about it, and I was like, oh yeah, under no circumstances should I have ever watch this. So that does not hold up. All right, yeah. So next week, we are gonna do our top three things that can get off your lawn. unknown: 13:36 All right. Gavin: 13:36 Top three three, top three things that can just get off my fucking lawn. Get off my lawn. Alrighty. Our next guest entirely defines a multi-hyphenate. He&#39;s a writer, he&#39;s a thirst trap maker, he&#39;s an adventure seeker, he&#39;s a comic book nerd, he&#39;s also a comic book celebrity, former sexually biological breeder, wow, graphic novel author, podcaster, non-practicing Mormon, and of course, father of two. Please welcome to the podcast, Chad Anderson. Chad, how have your kids driven you bananas today? SPEAKER_02: 14:15 You know, uh my my youngest just turned 12 yesterday. And they woke up at 1 a.m. and came into my room. That still happens? Oh god. Shook me awake and said, Dad, I&#39;m sorry to wake you up, but I can&#39;t sleep. And I said, Okay, go lay back down then. And they did and slept the rest of the night, and I was up for like two hours. Gavin: 14:40 Because you&#39;re no longer in your 20s, and yeah, once you&#39;re up at one in the morning, you&#39;re your mind starts going and you don&#39;t stop. SPEAKER_02: 14:48 Sleep is elusive, man, and it&#39;s a hundred fucking degrees outside. David: 14:51 And also, don&#39;t drag me into your bullshit. If you can&#39;t sleep, you can&#39;t sleep. Don&#39;t make me not sleep. Go read a fucking book. Go read a fucking book. Gavin: 15:00 Well, you know what? Before we start talking about really sexy comic books and comic book characters and whatnot, I think one of the most endearing things about your parenting journey that I&#39;ve seen on Instagram is actually is I think you have a monthly adventure theme going with...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We begin as we normally do with a discussion about porn, David publicly apologizes to his Mom, we compare our top 3 movies from childhood that don&apos;t hold up, and this week we are joined by ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson who talks about his life growing up in Salt Lake City, his new graphic novel &#34;The Mushroom Murders,&#34; and what he&apos;s learned about parenting from the X-Men. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s part of I think our it&#39;s like double jumped and you and I are either side of the jump rope and we both don&#39;t know and we both tried to jump in and it didn&#39;t work yet. Gavin: 0:12 Yeah. And this is GTRX. David: 0:28 So public apology time. Oh geez. Have we gone that far? Have we jumped the shark? Are we canceled? Well, no, we&#39;re not we are not canceled. I might be canceled. So I it says to my mother, who is a listener, who is the listener. Hey mom, the one hi. Um who would constantly, as I grew up, mix up me and my brother&#39;s names. He would she would call me my brother&#39;s name and my brother me name. And it was always that way. And she would always just stumble over it. And I would always make fun of her. Mom, just get it right. Say David. My name is David. That&#39;s Greg. She&#39;d be like, David, gr, you know, she&#39;d stumble over it. And I&#39;d make fun of her for 43 years. Guess who does that now? Oh, sister, step aside. I do it incessantly. Incessantly. I, if I whether I&#39;m saying nice things or I&#39;m yelling, or I&#39;m or I&#39;m asking questions. Gavin: 1:21 Or looking them directly in the eye, speaking slowly, you still screw the name up. I know that because I do it too. David: 1:30 Yeah, yeah. It must be a parenting thing. So, mom, if you&#39;re out there, um, I&#39;m sorry for making fun of you for 43 years for calling me Greg and my brother Greg David. Um uh, but I&#39;m not gonna stop making fun of you for it. Gavin: 1:44 So uh get over My grandmother would go through the entire family, and included family members that were not even in the house at the time, and the dog, which I&#39;m sure that it sounds like such a cliche, and I&#39;m sure plenty of people did it, but really, uh, she would go through the dog before, and she wasn&#39;t even angry. I mean, of course, she was like in her 70s when this happened, or maybe 80s. Um, so give her some credit. But I used to think that is the most absurd thing, and lo and behold, I do it all the time. All the time, looking directly in their faces. David: 2:17 Yeah. I get the names wrong. I know they&#39;re social security numbers, but their names escape me sometimes. Um, one of my superpowers now also is you know, the evolution of porn. So let&#39;s talk about that. Gavin: 2:29 I&#39;m familiar. So I think I believe it was our last episode that we we&#39;ve talked about porn last episode and this episode. David: 2:34 So that&#39;s yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s a very porn-heavy month, uh, August. So I was thinking, I was talking to a friend and we were joking about porn. And I was saying, now that I&#39;m in my 40s, I spend more time following porn stars on their personal like regular accounts, like Instagram, Twitter. Sure, they they they they you know release sexy stuff sometimes, but I I just realized I was like, oh yeah, Seth and his husband, they just got chickens, one of them died. Like, why do I know that about my favorite porn star? But it&#39;s a new world, right? It&#39;s a new world where you don&#39;t just like pop into VHS and watch two people go at it. Now I know the personal lives of some of these people. I&#39;m like, oh yeah, Marco, he&#39;s trying to be a chef, so he started this new like Instagram account about his pasta making. It&#39;]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We begin as we normally do with a discussion about porn, David publicly apologizes to his Mom, we compare our top 3 movies from childhood that don&apos;t hold up, and this week we are joined by ex-Mormon Dad Chad Anderson who talks about his life growing up in Salt Lake City, his new graphic novel &#34;The Mushroom Murders,&#34; and what he&apos;s learned about parenting from the X-Men. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 Yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s part of I think our it&#39;s like double jumped and you and I are either side of the jump rope and we both don&#39;t know and we both tried to jump in and it didn&#39;t work yet. Gavin: 0:12 Yeah. And this is GTRX. David: 0:28 So public apology time. Oh geez. Have we gone that far? Have we j]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jay-howard-aka-ooh-buddy/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 16 Aug 2023 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David is back from his vacation in Scotland and is being annoying about it, we discuss the difference between PornHub and CornHub, and we are joined by the hilarious and single-wigged Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy where we talk about his sudden fame on TikTok, his favorite combo Coffee and leather shop, and what the gayest part about him really is. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:03 We are, well, I laughed, and our hope is to get you to laugh too. SPEAKER_00: 0:08 Each week we share what we&#39;ve learned from our latest journey down an internet rabbit hole. SPEAKER_01: 0:12 Like the real origin story behind Cocaine Bear. SPEAKER_00: 0:15 And what the Unibomber is really about, and if we have anything in common with him. SPEAKER_01: 0:20 All in the hope of getting each other to laugh and potentially learn something new along the way. SPEAKER_00: 0:26 Join Grant, a public school teacher. SPEAKER_01: 0:29 And Maya, an engineer. SPEAKER_00: 0:31 As we arm ourselves with the next story to share at our dinner parties. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Well, I laughed. Available wherever you get your podcast. Gavin: 0:43 Wait, but it&#39;s we want it to be organic, don&#39;t we? Everything about us is authentic and organic, right? And this is Gay Triox. Sorry, that was hemp. No, you could do it. David: 0:54 No, what do but do it with just say it with your chest. Gavin: 0:57 All right. And this is Gay T-Rex. David: 1:14 So do you notice something different about me, Gavin? Gavin: 1:17 Um, is it your hair? Is it your is it your is it your beard? Is it your eyes? Is it your is it your is it something on your face? Oh, wait a minute. There&#39;s something that almost looks like it&#39;s attached to your face. David: 1:32 It&#39;s my new microphone. So Daddy David has upgraded his microphone. He&#39;s now a professional podcaster and now making millions of dollars. Millions. So I decided to upgrade my mic. So I don&#39;t know. This is the first episode we&#39;ve ever used this mic. So I hope it sounds good because your mic sounds so good. Already in these first 30 seconds, it&#39;s a completely different podcast. Gavin: 1:55 I mean, but do you think now we&#39;ll actually make money at this thing? So that we can both uh afford to, I don&#39;t know, have better soundproofing and whatnot. Yes, yes, this is it. This is you secreted this, you magic of believed this into happening. David: 2:09 I&#39;ve always known I was Oprah, and now I know. Um, so I want to come for our uh intern a little bit, Timothy. Oh, Timothy. Because Timothy came for me. He reminded me that I made the same fucking Pornhub joke twice on two different episodes. Oh, we&#39;re so mad at that. I know. We&#39;re really bad. We repeat ourselves a lot. Um, and but I don&#39;t appreciate the accuracy or the mirror that he&#39;s holding up to me. So, Timothy, you&#39;re fired, but also please stay because we need you. Gavin: 2:38 So, speaking of Pornhub and your repetitive jokes about Pornhub, I do have to make an all points bulletin announcement to people who have basically children that eventually you&#39;re gonna have to talk about porn with your kids. And you&#39;re gonna have to have the talk and sex and all the stuff that comes with it. Um, my kid recently asked me, what it, Daddy, what is corn hub? And I spit out my rose, my frose, and I was like, Cornhub, what is corn hub to you, buddy? Yeah, let me ask you a follow-up question before I answer it. I don&#39;t know. Some kids were talking about it in the bus, and they were talking about how it&#39;s all about corn and how it&#39;s all, but it&#39;s also naughty. I didn&#39;t understand what it was, so he asked me about it, right? So I did immediately Google it. And I want to put out there for the entire world that on domainshop.com, cornhub.com is for sale for$445,000. Now, I don&#39;t understand the intrawebs at all, but I do want you to know that I still use like a quill and and scroll to message people. So correct, and proud of it. But I want the world to know that we gotta talk about it. And uh and I don&#39;t think there&#39;s anything apart. David: 4:03 But wait, were the kids on the bus referring to porn hub? Or was there is there actually a corn hub about like corn? Gavin: 4:08 There&#39;s always a bit of a filter when things are translated from your children, right? Yeah. I do believe that the kids are talking about porn 100%. I think that certain kids um have access to or don&#39;t have filters and don&#39;t have restrictions on their eye on their devices, and they are then poisoning the rest of our children uh by um talking about it and showing the stuff. But something got translated in the game of operator that is the school bus and or the camp bus, and Pornhub turned into Cornhub. So we just all gotta talk about it because like we shouldn&#39;t be ashamed, and and at the same time, we want to have an educated uh child population. David: 4:47 Yeah, you got and now you gotta have the conversation of like there are good pictures and there are bad pictures, and and man, what a new fucking world. Gavin: 4:54 It&#39;s a new fucking world, and also we I mean, my main thing is I I want my children to have a healthy attitude about sex, yeah. And um, and I don&#39;t want them to learn everything that they have to learn from misogynistic violent porn on the internet, you know? David: 5:07 Um which is the only kind I consume, so I&#39;m sure it is. Gavin: 5:12 You know what? Earlier in the episode, when you said, Have you noticed something different about me? And I was gonna be like, Oh, you&#39;re tan. No, you&#39;re you don&#39;t notice about it. No, I&#39;m not tan. I&#39;m paying basically powder. You&#39;re you look more powdered than ever, and yet it&#39;s at the end of summer, so you should look tan. Wait a minute, is there something different about you? Wait a minute. Duh, you went on vacation recently. Can I quote a friend of mine that says, Will you please tell me about your fabulous vacation? But please don&#39;t talk about it for more than five minutes because it&#39;s gonna make me jealous and insanely um envious. And even though I asked about it, don&#39;t make it a long story. David: 5:43 Go ahead, David. I&#39;m gonna start the clock now. Five minutes. Boom. Yeah, so I think I mentioned this many episodes ago, but we were really struggling with our timelines before, where I was like, hey, I just got back from Scotland like two months ago. That&#39;s not true. I actually just got back from Scotland. Um, I so I uh my husband and I, San&#39;s kids, by the way. Gavin: 6:04 Whoa, we should do an entire episode about that. David: 6:07 We took we took a dream trip to um a couple days in Amsterdam, and then we spent the rest of the week in Scotland. And uh my incredible sister, who&#39;s a listener to the podcast and uh niece, came up to take care of the kids for an entire fucking week. Um, and so that&#39;s that&#39;s a whole nother wonderful thing that happened to us. But I want to just talk about Scotland because now I&#39;m in my um annoying American, just got back from trip from Europe and wants to tell everyone how much better Europe is era. Gavin: 6:41 Yes, all you listeners, you don&#39;t see the pretension that is oozing out of the street. David: 6:45 They can hear it on the new mic. So um, I don&#39;t know why, but something about Scotland has always drawn me. I I maybe because I&#39;m white, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m not Scottish, I&#39;ve never been there, I&#39;ve never been to uh anywhere in the UK, but something about it has always drawn me. And my sister so graciously said, You guys need a trip by yourselves. I&#39;m flying up there, choose a place, and you can just go. So uh we I was like, I want to go to Scotland, but my for my weird vision of Scotland had always been uh San&#39;s kids, first of all. Uh second of all, had always been like this like rural backpacky hiking, camping along the cliffs version of this, yeah, less like seeing amazing theater in Edinburgh or like going to uh castles. It was more a little bit of a rural uh thing. So um we hired this incredible tour guide um from this company called Distinct Scotland. His name is Brian. Gavin: 7:41 Will we be able to talk to him someday? Will we Yeah, maybe we can interview him actually. David: 7:45 That&#39;s a really good idea. And he basically took us for three days um to the highlands of Scotland, which is kind of the northern part. It&#39;s a lot of mountains. We did hiking, we went through waterfalls and caves and beaches, and um, we found all these old, kind of like forgotten about castles, and um we broke into some. Gavin: 8:03 There was Oh my god, it&#39;s a place that you can break into abandoned castles. David: 8:08 There are so many castles that like people are just like, Yeah, grab a castle, like they&#39;re everywhere, like nobody cares. So one of the days we woke up and he was like, We&#39;re gonna go to this castle, and there was this castle on an island in the in this uh kind of lake, and there, and he was like, So we could either kind of just stand here on the beach and look at the castle, or if you want, we can like take our shoes off and like wade through the water. It was like hip deep. And and I was my shoes were already off. Yeah, I was like, I&#39;m going, we&#39;re fucking going. And so we get on the island, and on the island is a fucking stag just wandering around. Like it was like a cartoonish experience. And so we get up to the castle and they had put a gate on the kind of entrance to it because whoever owned it was maybe I don&#39;t know, didn&#39;t want people in there or whatever. Imagine that. Nobody&#39;s on the island. And uh, and Brian, our tour guide, was like, you know, if you wanted to, you kind of probably squeeze under the door, and it kind of like wandered away, and we were already under the door. Yeah, and so we snuck into this castle, and it was incredible because you can kind of, it&#39;s all kind of mostly in ruins. There&#39;s no like roof or floors, but you can kind of see where the old floors used to be. The all the old fireplaces are still there. You can kind of see where storage was, where the kitchen was. And so we just uh spent three days kind of wandering the kind of quote unquote real Scotland, and it was just it was fucking magical. Um, if you go to my Instagram, you can see a whole bunch of photos, and I&#39;m gonna post a video today. Um, but it was it was an incredible experience, and then we spent the last two days in the city um doing touristy stuff just to, you know, do the castle and the theater and stuff. But um, it was a vacation of a lifetime, and I&#39;m already trying to figure out how I can move there without kids, obviously. Um, they&#39;ll they&#39;ll be fine. Um, but uh, you know, of course, that&#39;s the first thing I thought was like, how do I live here? Because the culture&#39;s amazing. There&#39;s no guns, there&#39;s no no trespassing laws, which was like, he was, I was like, what does that mean? He goes, Well, you know, people, if they&#39;re walking down the street, they can walk through your yard to get somewhere else. There&#39;s no trespassing laws. People could pitch a tent in a field, even if it&#39;s your field. Like, and my first American thought was like, Oh god, there&#39;s gonna be people all over my life. Get off my lawn. Yeah, I was like, get off my lawn. And our tour guide was like, Yeah, that&#39;s because you&#39;re an American. We don&#39;t do that. We we we respect each other, we don&#39;t have guns, national health care, we love gay people. I was like, I you had me, you had me at no guns. Gavin: 10:28 So um of the many questions that I want to ask, you haven&#39;t mentioned your children at all. Now, did you miss them? That&#39;s right. I had to want, do you want to move? You already joked that you want to move back without them, but like, did you miss them? Did they miss you? And do you want to go back to Scotland with your kids? David: 10:44 So, yes, no, of course. Like, I missed my kids. It was really hard because as we were leaving, there were both both of their faces pressed against the door, screaming and sobbing. So that&#39;s never fun to leave. But like, right, luckily, my sister uh was incredible and sent us, you know, five minutes later a picture of them colouring and happy or whatever. Right. But yeah, I missed them, but I made sure not to just spend the whole trip with being sad that they were away from me. Yeah. And we really enjoyed our time, but we missed them. And of course, we check in at night when they were sleeping and looking at their your their nursery cams and stuff. Gavin: 11:13 But oh, you were able to do your big brother from afar, right? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. David: 11:17 I creep, I creep internationally. I want an international creeper. But yeah, no, yeah. And I definitely want to go back, but there was, I just wanted to go and not be like, don&#39;t stand too close to the edge. Because we were like standing on the edge of fucking cliffs. Like we were in non-kid friendly places, but yeah, I definitely want to go back there with with kids. And I like I said, I&#39;m moving there. So I need to find a job. So anybody out there who lives in Scotland, uh, preferably in Verness, somewhere in the Highlands, um, I want to do the job that you need to hire an American for. So, long story short, amazing trip. Thank you to my sister and my niece for taking care of my kids while we were gone. And now I consider myself um British. Okay, so enough about me being an annoying American coming home from Europe, thinking everything they do is better, because it is. Gavin: 12:03 Uh, let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Let&#39;s hear it. Now, the topic was what are three of the things that you miss most now that you&#39;re a parent, right? David: 12:13 Correct. And it&#39;s my list, so I will go first. Tell us about it. And number three, comp tickets to Broadway shows. Man, that is prior to having kids, you, you know, because you and I have been in the Broadway biz forever. And so we inevitably have friends be like, hey, I have two tickets to um once upon a one more time at two o&#39;clock, you want to come. It&#39;s like 1 15 p.m. And you&#39;re like, yeah, I&#39;ll be there. I&#39;m gonna jump on the subway. Yeah, that doesn&#39;t happen. I have to buy Broadway tickets. First of all, I have to buy Broadway tickets. Second of all, I have to buy Broadway tickets weeks and months in advance to make it work. So number three, comp tickets to Broadway shows. Um, number two, the thing I miss, brunch. Like it&#39;s my gay, it&#39;s my gay right. And I can&#39;t have brunch because yes, I can go to brunch with my kids, but I&#39;m gonna be spending the whole time telling them to put that down. And I don&#39;t want to do that. I want to get, I want to get brunch drunk with my gays. So that&#39;s number two. Uh, number one, the thing I miss the most now that I&#39;m a parent is Christmas decorations. I am a Christmas aholic and I can decorate the house, but I have things that sit on shelves and stuff that is maybe on the ground, or multiple Christmas trees with delicate ornaments. My Christmas decorating is very different now that I have two under four who want to grab shit and destroy it. So, number one, Christmas decorations for me. What about you, Gabin? Gavin: 13:33 I was I was definitely confused by the Christmas part because I figured that I would actually assume that being a parent brings out the Christmas in you, but you&#39;re like, no, no, the look don&#39;t touch part of Christmas. Correct. The look don&#39;t touch. David: 13:44 Yeah, this is Nana&#39;s 1930s glass ornament that I don&#39;t want you to break. Gavin: 13:48 I have those too. I have a few of those too. All right. So for my top three, I think mine might go...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David is back from his vacation in Scotland and is being annoying about it, we discuss the difference between PornHub and CornHub, and we are joined by the hilarious and single-wigged Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy where we talk about his sudden fam]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David is back from his vacation in Scotland and is being annoying about it, we discuss the difference between PornHub and CornHub, and we are joined by the hilarious and single-wigged Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy where we talk about his sudden fame on TikTok, his favorite combo Coffee and leather shop, and what the gayest part about him really is. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:03 We are, well, I laughed, and our hope is to get you to laugh too. SPEAKER_00: 0:08 Each week we share what we&#39;ve learned from our latest journey down an internet rabbit hole. SPEAKER_01: 0:12 Like the real origin story behind Cocaine Bear. SPEAKER_00: 0:15 And what the Unibomber is really about, and if we have anything in common with him. SPEAKER_01: 0:20 All in the hope of getting each other to laugh and potentially learn something new along the way. SPEAKER_00: 0:26 Join Grant, a public school teacher. SPEAKER_01: 0:29 And Maya, an engineer. SPEAKER_00: 0:31 As we arm ourselves with the next story to share at our dinner parties. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Well, I laughed. Available wherever you get your podcast. Gavin: 0:43 Wait, but it&#39;s we want it to be organic, don&#39;t we? Everything about us is authentic and organic, right? And this is Gay Triox. Sorry, that was hemp. No, you could do it. David: 0:54 No, what do but do it with just say it with your chest. Gavin: 0:57 All right. And this is Gay T-Rex. David: 1:14 So do you notice something different about me, Gavin? Gavin: 1:17 Um, is it your hair? Is it your is it your is it your beard? Is it your eyes? Is it your is it your is it something on your face? Oh, wait a minute. There&#39;s something that almost looks like it&#39;s attached to your face. David: 1:32 It&#39;s my new microphone. So Daddy David has upgraded his microphone. He&#39;s now a professional podcaster and now making millions of dollars. Millions. So I decided to upgrade my mic. So I don&#39;t know. This is the first episode we&#39;ve ever used this mic. So I hope it sounds good because your mic sounds so good. Already in these first 30 seconds, it&#39;s a completely different podcast. Gavin: 1:55 I mean, but do you think now we&#39;ll actually make money at this thing? So that we can both uh afford to, I don&#39;t know, have better soundproofing and whatnot. Yes, yes, this is it. This is you secreted this, you magic of believed this into happening. David: 2:09 I&#39;ve always known I was Oprah, and now I know. Um, so I want to come for our uh intern a little bit, Timothy. Oh, Timothy. Because Timothy came for me. He reminded me that I made the same fucking Pornhub joke twice on two different episodes. Oh, we&#39;re so mad at that. I know. We&#39;re really bad. We repeat ourselves a lot. Um, and but I don&#39;t appreciate the accuracy or the mirror that he&#39;s holding up to me. So, Timothy, you&#39;re fired, but also please stay because we need you. Gavin: 2:38 So, speaking of Pornhub and your repetitive jokes about Pornhub, I do have to make an all points bulletin announcement to people who have basically children that eventually you&#39;re gonna have to talk about porn with your kids. And you&#39;re gonna have to have the talk and sex and all the stuff that comes with it. Um, my kid recently asked me, what it, Daddy, what is corn hub? And I spit out my rose, my frose, and I was like, Cornhub, what is corn hub to you, buddy? Yeah, let me ask you a follow-up question before I answer it. I don&#39;t know. Some kids were talking about it in the bus, and they were talking about how it&#39;s all about corn and how it&#39;s all, but it&#39;s also naughty. I didn&#39;t understand what it was, so he asked me about it, right? So I did immediately Google it. And I want to put out there for the entire world that on domainshop.com, cornhub.com is for sale for$445,000. Now, I don&#39;t understand the intrawebs at all, but I do want you to know that I still use like a quill and and scroll to message people. So correct, and proud of it. But I want the world to know that we gotta talk about it. And uh and I don&#39;t think there&#39;s anything apart. David: 4:03 But wait, were the kids on the bus referring to porn hub? Or was there is there actually a corn hub about like corn? Gavin: 4:08 There&#39;s always a bit of a filter when things are translated from your children, right? Yeah. I do believe that the kids are talking about porn 100%. I think that certain kids um have access to or don&#39;t have filters and don&#39;t have restrictions on their eye on their devices, and they are then poisoning the rest of our children uh by um talking about it and showing the stuff. But something got translated in the game of operator that is the school bus and or the camp bus, and Pornhub turned into Cornhub. So we just all gotta talk about it because like we shouldn&#39;t be ashamed, and and at the same time, we want to have an educated uh child population. David: 4:47 Yeah, you got and now you gotta have the conversation of like there are good pictures and there are bad pictures, and and man, what a new fucking world. Gavin: 4:54 It&#39;s a new fucking world, and also we I mean, my main thing is I I want my children to have a healthy attitude about sex, yeah. And um, and I don&#39;t want them to learn everything that they have to learn from misogynistic violent porn on the internet, you know? David: 5:07 Um which is the only kind I consume, so I&#39;m sure it is. Gavin: 5:12 You know what? Earlier in the episode, when you said, Have you noticed something different about me? And I was gonna be like, Oh, you&#39;re tan. No, you&#39;re you don&#39;t notice about it. No, I&#39;m not tan. I&#39;m paying basically powder. You&#39;re you look more powdered than ever, and yet it&#39;s at the end of summer, so you should look tan. Wait a minute, is there something different about you? Wait a minute. Duh, you went on vacation recently. Can I quote a friend of mine that says, Will you please tell me about your fabulous vacation? But please don&#39;t talk about it for more than five minutes because it&#39;s gonna make me jealous and insanely um envious. And even though I asked about it, don&#39;t make it a long story. David: 5:43 Go ahead, David. I&#39;m gonna start the clock now. Five minutes. Boom. Yeah, so I think I mentioned this many episodes ago, but we were really struggling with our timelines before, where I was like, hey, I just got back from Scotland like two months ago. That&#39;s not true. I actually just got back from Scotland. Um, I so I uh my husband and I, San&#39;s kids, by the way. Gavin: 6:04 Whoa, we should do an entire episode about that. David: 6:07 We took we took a dream trip to um a couple days in Amsterdam, and then we spent the rest of the week in Scotland. And uh my incredible sister, who&#39;s a listener to the podcast and uh niece, came up to take care of the kids for an entire fucking week. Um, and so that&#39;s that&#39;s a whole nother wonderful thing that happened to us. But I want to just talk about Scotland because now I&#39;m in my um annoying American, just got back from trip from Europe and wants to tell everyone how much better Europe is era. Gavin: 6:41 Yes, all you listeners, you don&#39;t see the pretension that is oozing out of the street. David: 6:45 They can hear it on the new mic. So um, I don&#39;t know why, but something about Scotland has always drawn me. I I maybe because I&#39;m white, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m not Scottish, I&#39;ve never been there, I&#39;ve never been to uh anywhere in the UK, but something about it has always drawn me. And my sister so graciously said, You guys need a trip by yourselves. I&#39;m flying up there, choose a place, and you can just go. So uh we I was like, I want to go to Scotland, but my for my weird vision of Scotland had always been uh San&#39;s kids, first of all. Uh second of all, had always been like this like rural backpacky hiking, camping along the cliffs version of this, yeah, less like seeing amazing theater in Edinburgh or like going to uh castles. It was more a little bit of a rural uh thing. So um we hired this incredible tour guide um from this company called Distinct Scotland. His name is Brian. Gavin: 7:41 Will we be able to talk to him someday? Will we Yeah, maybe we can interview him actually. David: 7:45 That&#39;s a really good idea. And he basically took us for three days um to the highlands of Scotland, which is kind of the northern part. It&#39;s a lot of mountains. We did hiking, we went through waterfalls and caves and beaches, and um, we found all these old, kind of like forgotten about castles, and um we broke into some. Gavin: 8:03 There was Oh my god, it&#39;s a place that you can break into abandoned castles. David: 8:08 There are so many castles that like people are just like, Yeah, grab a castle, like they&#39;re everywhere, like nobody cares. So one of the days we woke up and he was like, We&#39;re gonna go to this castle, and there was this castle on an island in the in this uh kind of lake, and there, and he was like, So we could either kind of just stand here on the beach and look at the castle, or if you want, we can like take our shoes off and like wade through the water. It was like hip deep. And and I was my shoes were already off. Yeah, I was like, I&#39;m going, we&#39;re fucking going. And so we get on the island, and on the island is a fucking stag just wandering around. Like it was like a cartoonish experience. And so we get up to the castle and they had put a gate on the kind of entrance to it because whoever owned it was maybe I don&#39;t know, didn&#39;t want people in there or whatever. Imagine that. Nobody&#39;s on the island. And uh, and Brian, our tour guide, was like, you know, if you wanted to, you kind of probably squeeze under the door, and it kind of like wandered away, and we were already under the door. Yeah, and so we snuck into this castle, and it was incredible because you can kind of, it&#39;s all kind of mostly in ruins. There&#39;s no like roof or floors, but you can kind of see where the old floors used to be. The all the old fireplaces are still there. You can kind of see where storage was, where the kitchen was. And so we just uh spent three days kind of wandering the kind of quote unquote real Scotland, and it was just it was fucking magical. Um, if you go to my Instagram, you can see a whole bunch of photos, and I&#39;m gonna post a video today. Um, but it was it was an incredible experience, and then we spent the last two days in the city um doing touristy stuff just to, you know, do the castle and the theater and stuff. But um, it was a vacation of a lifetime, and I&#39;m already trying to figure out how I can move there without kids, obviously. Um, they&#39;ll they&#39;ll be fine. Um, but uh, you know, of course, that&#39;s the first thing I thought was like, how do I live here? Because the culture&#39;s amazing. There&#39;s no guns, there&#39;s no no trespassing laws, which was like, he was, I was like, what does that mean? He goes, Well, you know, people, if they&#39;re walking down the street, they can walk through your yard to get somewhere else. There&#39;s no trespassing laws. People could pitch a tent in a field, even if it&#39;s your field. Like, and my first American thought was like, Oh god, there&#39;s gonna be people all over my life. Get off my lawn. Yeah, I was like, get off my lawn. And our tour guide was like, Yeah, that&#39;s because you&#39;re an American. We don&#39;t do that. We we we respect each other, we don&#39;t have guns, national health care, we love gay people. I was like, I you had me, you had me at no guns. Gavin: 10:28 So um of the many questions that I want to ask, you haven&#39;t mentioned your children at all. Now, did you miss them? That&#39;s right. I had to want, do you want to move? You already joked that you want to move back without them, but like, did you miss them? Did they miss you? And do you want to go back to Scotland with your kids? David: 10:44 So, yes, no, of course. Like, I missed my kids. It was really hard because as we were leaving, there were both both of their faces pressed against the door, screaming and sobbing. So that&#39;s never fun to leave. But like, right, luckily, my sister uh was incredible and sent us, you know, five minutes later a picture of them colouring and happy or whatever. Right. But yeah, I missed them, but I made sure not to just spend the whole trip with being sad that they were away from me. Yeah. And we really enjoyed our time, but we missed them. And of course, we check in at night when they were sleeping and looking at their your their nursery cams and stuff. Gavin: 11:13 But oh, you were able to do your big brother from afar, right? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. David: 11:17 I creep, I creep internationally. I want an international creeper. But yeah, no, yeah. And I definitely want to go back, but there was, I just wanted to go and not be like, don&#39;t stand too close to the edge. Because we were like standing on the edge of fucking cliffs. Like we were in non-kid friendly places, but yeah, I definitely want to go back there with with kids. And I like I said, I&#39;m moving there. So I need to find a job. So anybody out there who lives in Scotland, uh, preferably in Verness, somewhere in the Highlands, um, I want to do the job that you need to hire an American for. So, long story short, amazing trip. Thank you to my sister and my niece for taking care of my kids while we were gone. And now I consider myself um British. Okay, so enough about me being an annoying American coming home from Europe, thinking everything they do is better, because it is. Gavin: 12:03 Uh, let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Let&#39;s hear it. Now, the topic was what are three of the things that you miss most now that you&#39;re a parent, right? David: 12:13 Correct. And it&#39;s my list, so I will go first. Tell us about it. And number three, comp tickets to Broadway shows. Man, that is prior to having kids, you, you know, because you and I have been in the Broadway biz forever. And so we inevitably have friends be like, hey, I have two tickets to um once upon a one more time at two o&#39;clock, you want to come. It&#39;s like 1 15 p.m. And you&#39;re like, yeah, I&#39;ll be there. I&#39;m gonna jump on the subway. Yeah, that doesn&#39;t happen. I have to buy Broadway tickets. First of all, I have to buy Broadway tickets. Second of all, I have to buy Broadway tickets weeks and months in advance to make it work. So number three, comp tickets to Broadway shows. Um, number two, the thing I miss, brunch. Like it&#39;s my gay, it&#39;s my gay right. And I can&#39;t have brunch because yes, I can go to brunch with my kids, but I&#39;m gonna be spending the whole time telling them to put that down. And I don&#39;t want to do that. I want to get, I want to get brunch drunk with my gays. So that&#39;s number two. Uh, number one, the thing I miss the most now that I&#39;m a parent is Christmas decorations. I am a Christmas aholic and I can decorate the house, but I have things that sit on shelves and stuff that is maybe on the ground, or multiple Christmas trees with delicate ornaments. My Christmas decorating is very different now that I have two under four who want to grab shit and destroy it. So, number one, Christmas decorations for me. What about you, Gabin? Gavin: 13:33 I was I was definitely confused by the Christmas part because I figured that I would actually assume that being a parent brings out the Christmas in you, but you&#39;re like, no, no, the look don&#39;t touch part of Christmas. Correct. The look don&#39;t touch. David: 13:44 Yeah, this is Nana&#39;s 1930s glass ornament that I don&#39;t want you to break. Gavin: 13:48 I have those too. I have a few of those too. All right. So for my top three, I think mine might go...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David is back from his vacation in Scotland and is being annoying about it, we discuss the difference between PornHub and CornHub, and we are joined by the hilarious and single-wigged Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy where we talk about his sudden fame on TikTok, his favorite combo Coffee and leather shop, and what the gayest part about him really is. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:03 We are, well, I laughed, and our hope is to get you to laugh too. SPEAKER_00: 0:08 Each week we share what we&#39;ve learned from our latest journey down an internet rabbit hole. SPEAKER_01: 0:12 Like the real origin story behind Cocaine Bear. SPEAKER_00: 0:15 And what the Unibomber is really about, and if we have anything in common with him. SPEAKER_01: 0:20 All in the hope of getting each other to laugh and potentially learn something new along the way. SPEAKER_00: 0:26 Join Grant, a public school teacher. SPEAKER_01: 0:29 And Maya, an engineer. SPEAKER_00: 0:31 As we arm ourselves with the next story to share at our dinner parties. SPEAKER_01: 0:34 Well, I laughed. Available wherever you get your podcast. Gavin: 0:43 Wait, but it&#39;s we want it to be organic, don&#39;t we? Everything about us is authentic and organic, right? And this is Gay Triox. Sorry, that was hemp. No, you could do it. David: 0:54 No, what do but do it with just say it with your chest. Gavin: 0:57 All right. And this is Gay T-Rex. David: 1:14 So do you notice something different about me, Gavin? Gavin: 1:17 Um, is it your hair? Is it your is it your is it your beard? Is it your eyes? Is it your is it your is it something on your face? Oh, wait a minute. There&#39;s something that almost looks like it&#39;s attached to your face. David: 1:32 It&#39;s my new microphone. So Daddy David has upgraded his microphone. He&#39;s now a professional podcaster and now making millions of dollars. Millions. So I decided to upgrade my mic. So I don&#39;t know. This is the first episode we&#39;ve ever used this mic. So I hope it sounds good because your mic sounds so good. Already in these first 30 seconds, it&#39;s a completely different podcast. Gavin: 1:55 I mean, but do you think now we&#39;ll actually make money at this thing? So that we can both uh afford to, I don&#39;t know, have better soundproofing and whatnot. Yes, yes, this is it. This is you secreted this, you magic of believed this into happening. David: 2:09 I&#39;ve always known I was Oprah, and now I know. Um, so I want to come for our uh intern a little bit, Timothy. Oh, Timothy. Because Timothy came for me. He reminded me that I made the same fucking Pornhub joke twice on two different episodes. Oh, we&#39;re so mad at that. I know. We&#39;re really bad. We repeat ourselves a lot. Um, and but I don&#39;t appreciate the accuracy or the mirror that he&#39;s holding up to me. So, Timothy, you&#39;re fired, but also please stay because we need you. Gavin: 2:38 So, speaking of Pornhub and your repetitive jokes about Pornhub, I do have to make an all points bulletin announcement to people who have basically children that eventually you&#39;re gonna have to talk about porn with your kids. And you&#39;re gonna have to have the talk and sex and all the stuff that comes with it. Um, my kid recently asked me, what it, Daddy, what is corn hub? And I spit out my rose, my frose, and I was like, Cornhub, what is corn hub to you, buddy? Yeah, let me ask you a follow-up question before I answer it. I don&#39;t know. Some kids were talking about it in the bus, and they were talking about how it&#39;s all about corn and how it&#39;s all, but it&#39;s also naughty. I didn&#39;t understand what it was, so he asked me about it, right? So I did immediately Google it. And I want to ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David is back from his vacation in Scotland and is being annoying about it, we discuss the difference between PornHub and CornHub, and we are joined by the hilarious and single-wigged Jay Howard aka OOH Buddy where we talk about his sudden fame on TikTok, his favorite combo Coffee and leather shop, and what the gayest part about him really is. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:03 We are, well, I laughed, and our hope is to get you to laugh too. SPEAKER_00: 0:08 Each week we share what we&#39;ve learned from our latest journey down an internet rabbit hole. SPEAKER_01: 0:12 Like the real origin story behind Cocaine Bear. SPEAKER_00: 0:15 And what the Unibomber is really about, and if we have anything in common with him. SPE]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Daniel Reyes</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-daniel-reyes/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 09 Aug 2023 15:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-13300630</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David gets in trouble for not trimming his grass, Gavin thinks everyone is a prude, and we are joined by Daniel Reyes, Chief Program Officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of New York, also known simply as “The Center”. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So all right, well let&#39;s just do what we have and then see if it it makes sense. Gavin: 0:03 And if not, then hey, is this now I confess. Is this the typing you were hearing? I hear that. What is that? That&#39;s my Rubik&#39;s Cube that I play with. David: 0:15 Gate fucking Lodge. I knew it. I knew there was something happening off camera. What the fuck? And this is Gatriarchs. So listen to this fucked up shit. I was literally just upstairs, literally just upstairs with my husband, and my husband was like, guess what? I was like, what? He said, we got a letter from the town about our grass. That is some Stepford shit right there. So listen, we uh I am not great about cutting the grass. I try to cut it once every two weeks, but inevitably, listen, I&#39;m a really big time podcaster now, so my time is limited. Um but I was literally planning on cutting it today. And he got they like stuck a letter through our mail slot and it basically says, your grass is higher than 12 inches. A number one, which is a lie. There is uh there is a weed that is taller than the rest of it, is just like a little overgrown grass. Yeah. Anyway, how fucked up is that? I&#39;ve I feel very attacked. Gavin: 1:26 I you should feel like it&#39;s superficially speaking, you have been very attacked. Also, do they realize that your son just goes out there and pisses in the um grass all the time? There&#39;s so much piss in that grass. I mean, you don&#39;t even have dogs, but you have pea stains just from your child out in front in your foot-tall grass. David: 1:42 If we had gotten a cease and de cist letter for your three-year-old pissing in the front yard, I would have been like, you know what, you&#39;re right. You&#39;re so right. Gavin: 1:50 You&#39;re so right. Like we live in a civilized society now and we don&#39;t let our children go out and do that. But um also before you cut it, which I re-imagine you&#39;re about to skidaddle right now and get out there out there and cut it, take a picture of the kid pissing in the grass. Because I want to see like his little butt cheeks from the back standing in in uh grass that is literally as high as an elephant&#39;s eye before you cut it, because that&#39;s gonna be make some great photography. David: 2:15 It is, I will I will take actually a picture, and whenever we have our show notes, which will never exist, um I will post a picture. I will post a picture of the grass. It is not overgrown. It&#39;s needs to be cut. But you&#39;re thinking of like if you lay in the grass, you would disappear. I&#39;m telling you, it&#39;s like major. Gavin: 2:31 Do you think this is a hate crime? They&#39;re like, how are we gonna go get those gays? We&#39;re gonna get them. We&#39;re gonna get them at their manicured lawn, which you are not representing the the stereotype here. Thanks a lot, David, for screwing it up for the rest of us. Is this your gay agenda? David: 2:45 I know that is totally my gay agenda. Uh, the other thing that I want to complain about before we talk about real things is um, so we are very fortunate what we have been reviewed very well by the the powers that be in the internet. We&#39;ve had a lot of really nice five-star reviews from our listeners. Thank you so much. That&#39;s that shit actually matters for those of you who don&#39;t understand how all of that works. Like, we as a podcast really struggle to get in front of people other than the obvious like you sharing our links, which is very helpful. Gavin: 3:12 The way the algorithm works is that we&#39;ve got a crowded world out there with a lot of people. David: 3:16 Feed it reviews and feed it likes and all that kind of stuff, it starts to kind of come to the surface. Anyway, we&#39;ve gotten a lot of really great ones. We did get one four-star, and their review was basically like, love the show, everything is great. However, Gavin and your grass is too high. Yeah, exactly. They said Gavin and David talk too fast. Why do you have to talk too fast? So, a number one, I get it. I am a fast talker, I garble my words. Um, I&#39;m not meant to be in the performing arts, even though this has been my entire life. However, I think I figured out why the other day. So I was watching um the the one of my favorite podcasts is Smartless, and they have a documentary on TV, and I was watching it, and I kept feeling I was like, why is it taking why are they speaking so slow? I kept thinking, are they drunk? Are they high? Like, what is going on like in my brain? And then I realized I listened to podcasts at one and a quarter speed. Uh and I have gotten used to all of the podcasts I listened to, which inspired this one Smartless, Savage Love, Script Notes, these are all like Radio Lab, these are all of my favorite podcasts, but they all I have been listening to them at one and a quarter speed. Did you know years? Did you know you were the one and a quarter? Yeah, no, I do it because like it just I was like, let&#39;s move, let&#39;s move it on. Yeah. So I think what I realized was in my head, that&#39;s what these podcasts sound like, and that&#39;s the kind of vocal gait I need to be taking. And then I realized, oh no, David, you&#39;re just misinformed because you&#39;re listening to it too fast. So to the to the person who reviewed us by speaking too fast, you&#39;re probably right. Gavin: 4:52 And apologies, and I will not change my behavior. That right. We are no apologies, I would actually say, and we&#39;re not gonna change it. Although I have to say, I mean, we&#39;ve talked about how we have podcast voices. I know I have a podcast voice, and by podcast voice, I don&#39;t mean an NPR voice. I mean, this is not how I sound when I talk normally, I admit. It&#39;s a little bit more than a lot of things. Yeah, he sounds kind of like this. David: 5:14 Hi, I&#39;m Kevin, and I&#39;m stupid. That&#39;s what he sounds like normally. Gavin: 5:18 That is the that is literally. That was that was very stupid. Of all the stupid shit you&#39;ve said about me, that is was absolutely the stupidest. But anyway, I definitely have a different uh it&#39;s a pr it&#39;s I can&#39;t help it, you know? It&#39;s we all talk about it&#39;s perfectly. You talk higher, you talk faster, but also I would say that I screw up my words all the time, probably because I&#39;m trying to talk too quickly and keep up with you. David: 5:44 Yeah, I need to slow down, I need to slow down, I need to enunciate my words. However, it is really good for our cold opens because the majority of our cold opens are you or I stripping over words and fucking everything up. Gavin: 5:56 So yeah. And yeah, and that is the essence of Gatriarch. So uh a little topic that I was gonna bring up is sex. And that&#39;s unfamiliar. And that people it is hilarious to me. And this is a mostly generational thing, but let&#39;s face it, we live in a prudish, uh, conventional puritanical society where everything is missionary position between a man and a woman, right? And I was just having a conversation just actually yesterday, August 8th, 2023. Yesterday was August 8th. Whatever. Anyway, I&#39;m kidding about the date, but it was just yesterday from the time that we&#39;re recording this right now that um it was somebody who I guess, I mean, they seemed I know that they were totally gay friendly. There wasn&#39;t anything homophobic about it, but he did say, Oh, so you have kids, so you must have been married to a woman before. And I&#39;m like, What what is this? 1998? Uh okay. And I said, No, no, no, my no, no, no. Isn&#39;t that when Titanic came out? Anyway. No, come on. Titanic was 98. No, no, no. I&#39;m gonna look it up right now. Hold on. Okay. Well, anyway, and he was like, Um, oh, so you had kids 97. Boom. You had you had kids yourself, just uh just like Jack and um what&#39;s her name from Rose, just like Jack and Rose. I&#39;m like, no, it wasn&#39;t exactly like Jack and Rose. We did surrogacy, and he&#39;s like, Oh, how did the uh never uh never mind, I I don&#39;t need to know about that. And he had a look on his face like he just smelled vinegar, like he didn&#39;t want to know about penises creating babies. And I thought, wow, are we really are we that prudish? Uh, there have been other times, and it&#39;s mostly generational, let&#39;s be honest, where um people just don&#39;t want to think about other people naked, you know? Or they don&#39;t think that&#39;s performative. David: 7:45 I think that&#39;s that&#39;s like I feel like the the there&#39;s that&#39;s all straight on mentality about I&#39;m not gonna fucking touch that. That&#39;s fucking gay. Blah blah blah. It&#39;s like stop it. You know that&#39;s not true. Yeah, it is performative, so everyone knows how fucking strange you are. Yeah, the whole like, oh, I don&#39;t want to know. First of all, fuck you. Fuck you. I gotta hear about your stupid stuff. Because I know how you did it. Yep. Yeah, I know how you I had to watch Titan, I had to watch her little hand slap the side of that car. I know what was going on in the car. You forced that shit on me. But but but it&#39;s all it&#39;s it&#39;s all so stupid. Like, I listen, I did it too. I will be honest. Like, when I came out of the closet, I was 20 years old, I was in college, and I flew out of that closet and I put on this like, ew, vaginas are gross, girls gross, I&#39;m so gay, I&#39;m so anti that. And it was just armor. I was trying to like rectify all of the pretending I had done for so long. For 20 years. And yeah, and f and fight the other side. So, so I am, I am for sure. Listen, we&#39;re we at Gatriarchs, we are hypocrites. So I am a fucking hypocrite about nothing else. But like, let&#39;s all stop it, right? Like, we&#39;re all done with this. Vaginas aren&#39;t gross, penises aren&#39;t gross, butts aren&#39;t gross. The only thing gross is what, Gavin? What&#39;s funny? Be funny, go. Gavin: 8:56 Oh God, I&#39;m the tall one. What the only things that are gross are um and now I can only think about buttholes. That&#39;s uh that&#39;s that&#39;s all I can think about. David: 9:06 That&#39;s gonna be your epitaph. Can only think about buttholes, Gavin Lodge. 2023. Gavin: 9:13 Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, I didn&#39;t make this guy feel uncomfortable, and I was like, yeah, well, there were like we should I think I think we gotta go the other way. David: 9:20 I think when somebody is performatively grossed out by gay sex, we need to go into graphic detail about how that works. All right. I mean, there&#39;s I actually am unaware. Do you there&#39;s do you know? I don&#39;t know how that works. Gavin: 9:35 There&#39;s a book that I might actually recommend right now that&#39;s being banned um and moved around in libraries all over the place called Let&#39;s Talk About It, The Teen&#39;s Guide to Sex Relationships and Being a Human. Let&#39;s talk about it. Let&#39;s uh let&#39;s talk about it and put that right in front of these people who say, uh, I I don&#39;t want to know. I don&#39;t want to know. Oh, come on. Well, Gavin, why don&#39;t we talk about this week&#39;s top three list? Speaking of things that make you go, ew, disgusting foods you have eaten that make you realize you&#39;re a dad now. You are a dad. So my for number three for me was eating toast off the floor that my kid had thrown, and I was so pissed that they had thrown the toast on the floor, and it landed butterside down. But I picked that up to make a point and looked right in her little one-year-old face and took a bite of it and ate the entire thing. There was definitely dog hair on it. Number two, mashed bananas. I&#39;m definitely I&#39;m a yeah, I&#39;m a maybe you&#39;re a texture person too. I&#39;m a texture person. And mashed bananas absolutely I mean a banana that&#39;s even vaguely overripe. I can&#39;t do it. Um, absolutely. And but I had to uh show my kids that eating um bananas and eating mashed things was indeed what you&#39;re going to fucking do. So I will do it and demonstrate it and and gag, but shh hide my gag reflex. But number one was the time when my kids were in preschool or kindergarten and I picked up a lunchbox and I said, Hey, why didn&#39;t you eat your lunch yesterday? And they said, because it was mushy, and I picked it up. This I think it was literally salmon, it was smoked salmon and cream cheese that was a day old. And I looked at it and was like, it&#39;s not mushy, and I ate it. And I thought, I just took a bite of my kids&#39; leftover fish sandwich from the day before. Oh well, and I just ate it. And it wasn&#39;t it was and you lost so much weight, you&#39;ve never been skinnier. David: 11:30 You grew up for weeks, and you&#39;re like, I look amazing. Gavin: 11:33 That was that that was my number one. What about you? What disgusting things that you&#39;ve eaten that make you realize, oh god, I&#39;m a dad. David: 11:39 Mine are mostly categorical, but but so and number three, teething crackers. I will pop a teething cracker in my mouth as a snack if there&#39;s one left over on the counter and I&#39;m kind of hungry, and I never thought I would be eating a teething cracker, but there you go. Um, number two, this is a little bit of crossover for us, uh, floor stuff. Stuff on the floor. I will just grab something off the floor and eat it. No, just just I&#39;m hungry and I don&#39;t have time to eat. Or not even hungry. Yeah, that&#39;s the thing too. I mean, just whatever. And number one, I am ashamed, but I have for sure done this. Scraping like food out of the corner of your kid&#39;s mouth and then eating like an oatmeal, like oatmeal mouth, and you kind of scrape it off and just kind of pop it into your mouth. SPEAKER_03: 12:25 Ugh. David: 12:29 So, yeah, listen, I&#39;m not proud of it, but I I like to be honest here on the show. Gavin: 12:33 So I&#39;m feeling gag reflex right now. I really am. I really am. David: 12:37 So next week, I want to talk about the top three things that you miss now that you&#39;re a parent. Gavin: 12:43 That many things are already coming to mind. Let&#39;s hurry up and get to next week. Our guest this week is the chief program officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center of New York, which is most commonly known as the center. It is uh the center of so much history and uh community and culture. It&#39;s an honor to have him here. He has been a leader in nonprofit management for the past 20 years, though you would not know that looking at that fantastic lighting right now. He&#39;s a father of six-year-old twins. And honey, can he tell us about meddlesome helicopter parents? A big gateriarch, welcome to Daniel Reyes. Thank you for being here. Hi, Daniel. SPEAKER_00: 13:24 Hi, thank you for having me. Gavin: 13:25 Daniel, can you tell us a horror story of your own parenting journey? We love them here. We love it. David: 13:34 The messier, the better. SPEAKER_00: 13:35 The messier. That&#39;s what we&#39;re gonna do. Uh let&#39;s see. Um, I think one of the worst was uh uh Christmas Eve. Uh the boys were about one and sick. Gavin: 13:48 So uh rooting holidays. Exactly. SPEAKER_00: 13:52 So we&#39;re all dressed up, looking cute, and uh one I was just holding him, and next thing I know, there&#39;s projectile vomit all over me. So yeah. And then the other one went. So I was just like, oh dear. Oh, they were they were tag teaming, barping. Gavin: 14:08 And what were you doing at the time? Were you trying to take like fancy Christmas pictures or something?...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David gets in trouble for not trimming his grass, Gavin thinks everyone is a prude, and we are joined by Daniel Reyes, Chief Program Officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of New York, also known simply as “The ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David gets in trouble for not trimming his grass, Gavin thinks everyone is a prude, and we are joined by Daniel Reyes, Chief Program Officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of New York, also known simply as “The Center”. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So all right, well let&#39;s just do what we have and then see if it it makes sense. Gavin: 0:03 And if not, then hey, is this now I confess. Is this the typing you were hearing? I hear that. What is that? That&#39;s my Rubik&#39;s Cube that I play with. David: 0:15 Gate fucking Lodge. I knew it. I knew there was something happening off camera. What the fuck? And this is Gatriarchs. So listen to this fucked up shit. I was literally just upstairs, literally just upstairs with my husband, and my husband was like, guess what? I was like, what? He said, we got a letter from the town about our grass. That is some Stepford shit right there. So listen, we uh I am not great about cutting the grass. I try to cut it once every two weeks, but inevitably, listen, I&#39;m a really big time podcaster now, so my time is limited. Um but I was literally planning on cutting it today. And he got they like stuck a letter through our mail slot and it basically says, your grass is higher than 12 inches. A number one, which is a lie. There is uh there is a weed that is taller than the rest of it, is just like a little overgrown grass. Yeah. Anyway, how fucked up is that? I&#39;ve I feel very attacked. Gavin: 1:26 I you should feel like it&#39;s superficially speaking, you have been very attacked. Also, do they realize that your son just goes out there and pisses in the um grass all the time? There&#39;s so much piss in that grass. I mean, you don&#39;t even have dogs, but you have pea stains just from your child out in front in your foot-tall grass. David: 1:42 If we had gotten a cease and de cist letter for your three-year-old pissing in the front yard, I would have been like, you know what, you&#39;re right. You&#39;re so right. Gavin: 1:50 You&#39;re so right. Like we live in a civilized society now and we don&#39;t let our children go out and do that. But um also before you cut it, which I re-imagine you&#39;re about to skidaddle right now and get out there out there and cut it, take a picture of the kid pissing in the grass. Because I want to see like his little butt cheeks from the back standing in in uh grass that is literally as high as an elephant&#39;s eye before you cut it, because that&#39;s gonna be make some great photography. David: 2:15 It is, I will I will take actually a picture, and whenever we have our show notes, which will never exist, um I will post a picture. I will post a picture of the grass. It is not overgrown. It&#39;s needs to be cut. But you&#39;re thinking of like if you lay in the grass, you would disappear. I&#39;m telling you, it&#39;s like major. Gavin: 2:31 Do you think this is a hate crime? They&#39;re like, how are we gonna go get those gays? We&#39;re gonna get them. We&#39;re gonna get them at their manicured lawn, which you are not representing the the stereotype here. Thanks a lot, David, for screwing it up for the rest of us. Is this your gay agenda? David: 2:45 I know that is totally my gay agenda. Uh, the other thing that I want to complain about before we talk about real things is um, so we are very fortunate what we have been reviewed very well by the the powers that be in the internet. We&#39;ve had a lot of really nice five-star reviews from our listeners. Thank you so much. That&#39;s that shit actually matters for those of you who don&#39;t understand how all of that works. Like, we as a podcast really struggle to get in front of people other than the obvious like you sharing our links, which is very helpful. Gavin: 3:12 The way the algorithm works is that we&#39;ve got a crowded world out there with a lot of people. David: 3:16 Feed it reviews and feed it likes and all that kind of stuff, it starts to kind of come to the surface. Anyway, we&#39;ve gotten a lot of really great ones. We did get one four-star, and their review was basically like, love the show, everything is great. However, Gavin and your grass is too high. Yeah, exactly. They said Gavin and David talk too fast. Why do you have to talk too fast? So, a number one, I get it. I am a fast talker, I garble my words. Um, I&#39;m not meant to be in the performing arts, even though this has been my entire life. However, I think I figured out why the other day. So I was watching um the the one of my favorite podcasts is Smartless, and they have a documentary on TV, and I was watching it, and I kept feeling I was like, why is it taking why are they speaking so slow? I kept thinking, are they drunk? Are they high? Like, what is going on like in my brain? And then I realized I listened to podcasts at one and a quarter speed. Uh and I have gotten used to all of the podcasts I listened to, which inspired this one Smartless, Savage Love, Script Notes, these are all like Radio Lab, these are all of my favorite podcasts, but they all I have been listening to them at one and a quarter speed. Did you know years? Did you know you were the one and a quarter? Yeah, no, I do it because like it just I was like, let&#39;s move, let&#39;s move it on. Yeah. So I think what I realized was in my head, that&#39;s what these podcasts sound like, and that&#39;s the kind of vocal gait I need to be taking. And then I realized, oh no, David, you&#39;re just misinformed because you&#39;re listening to it too fast. So to the to the person who reviewed us by speaking too fast, you&#39;re probably right. Gavin: 4:52 And apologies, and I will not change my behavior. That right. We are no apologies, I would actually say, and we&#39;re not gonna change it. Although I have to say, I mean, we&#39;ve talked about how we have podcast voices. I know I have a podcast voice, and by podcast voice, I don&#39;t mean an NPR voice. I mean, this is not how I sound when I talk normally, I admit. It&#39;s a little bit more than a lot of things. Yeah, he sounds kind of like this. David: 5:14 Hi, I&#39;m Kevin, and I&#39;m stupid. That&#39;s what he sounds like normally. Gavin: 5:18 That is the that is literally. That was that was very stupid. Of all the stupid shit you&#39;ve said about me, that is was absolutely the stupidest. But anyway, I definitely have a different uh it&#39;s a pr it&#39;s I can&#39;t help it, you know? It&#39;s we all talk about it&#39;s perfectly. You talk higher, you talk faster, but also I would say that I screw up my words all the time, probably because I&#39;m trying to talk too quickly and keep up with you. David: 5:44 Yeah, I need to slow down, I need to slow down, I need to enunciate my words. However, it is really good for our cold opens because the majority of our cold opens are you or I stripping over words and fucking everything up. Gavin: 5:56 So yeah. And yeah, and that is the essence of Gatriarch. So uh a little topic that I was gonna bring up is sex. And that&#39;s unfamiliar. And that people it is hilarious to me. And this is a mostly generational thing, but let&#39;s face it, we live in a prudish, uh, conventional puritanical society where everything is missionary position between a man and a woman, right? And I was just having a conversation just actually yesterday, August 8th, 2023. Yesterday was August 8th. Whatever. Anyway, I&#39;m kidding about the date, but it was just yesterday from the time that we&#39;re recording this right now that um it was somebody who I guess, I mean, they seemed I know that they were totally gay friendly. There wasn&#39;t anything homophobic about it, but he did say, Oh, so you have kids, so you must have been married to a woman before. And I&#39;m like, What what is this? 1998? Uh okay. And I said, No, no, no, my no, no, no. Isn&#39;t that when Titanic came out? Anyway. No, come on. Titanic was 98. No, no, no. I&#39;m gonna look it up right now. Hold on. Okay. Well, anyway, and he was like, Um, oh, so you had kids 97. Boom. You had you had kids yourself, just uh just like Jack and um what&#39;s her name from Rose, just like Jack and Rose. I&#39;m like, no, it wasn&#39;t exactly like Jack and Rose. We did surrogacy, and he&#39;s like, Oh, how did the uh never uh never mind, I I don&#39;t need to know about that. And he had a look on his face like he just smelled vinegar, like he didn&#39;t want to know about penises creating babies. And I thought, wow, are we really are we that prudish? Uh, there have been other times, and it&#39;s mostly generational, let&#39;s be honest, where um people just don&#39;t want to think about other people naked, you know? Or they don&#39;t think that&#39;s performative. David: 7:45 I think that&#39;s that&#39;s like I feel like the the there&#39;s that&#39;s all straight on mentality about I&#39;m not gonna fucking touch that. That&#39;s fucking gay. Blah blah blah. It&#39;s like stop it. You know that&#39;s not true. Yeah, it is performative, so everyone knows how fucking strange you are. Yeah, the whole like, oh, I don&#39;t want to know. First of all, fuck you. Fuck you. I gotta hear about your stupid stuff. Because I know how you did it. Yep. Yeah, I know how you I had to watch Titan, I had to watch her little hand slap the side of that car. I know what was going on in the car. You forced that shit on me. But but but it&#39;s all it&#39;s it&#39;s all so stupid. Like, I listen, I did it too. I will be honest. Like, when I came out of the closet, I was 20 years old, I was in college, and I flew out of that closet and I put on this like, ew, vaginas are gross, girls gross, I&#39;m so gay, I&#39;m so anti that. And it was just armor. I was trying to like rectify all of the pretending I had done for so long. For 20 years. And yeah, and f and fight the other side. So, so I am, I am for sure. Listen, we&#39;re we at Gatriarchs, we are hypocrites. So I am a fucking hypocrite about nothing else. But like, let&#39;s all stop it, right? Like, we&#39;re all done with this. Vaginas aren&#39;t gross, penises aren&#39;t gross, butts aren&#39;t gross. The only thing gross is what, Gavin? What&#39;s funny? Be funny, go. Gavin: 8:56 Oh God, I&#39;m the tall one. What the only things that are gross are um and now I can only think about buttholes. That&#39;s uh that&#39;s that&#39;s all I can think about. David: 9:06 That&#39;s gonna be your epitaph. Can only think about buttholes, Gavin Lodge. 2023. Gavin: 9:13 Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, I didn&#39;t make this guy feel uncomfortable, and I was like, yeah, well, there were like we should I think I think we gotta go the other way. David: 9:20 I think when somebody is performatively grossed out by gay sex, we need to go into graphic detail about how that works. All right. I mean, there&#39;s I actually am unaware. Do you there&#39;s do you know? I don&#39;t know how that works. Gavin: 9:35 There&#39;s a book that I might actually recommend right now that&#39;s being banned um and moved around in libraries all over the place called Let&#39;s Talk About It, The Teen&#39;s Guide to Sex Relationships and Being a Human. Let&#39;s talk about it. Let&#39;s uh let&#39;s talk about it and put that right in front of these people who say, uh, I I don&#39;t want to know. I don&#39;t want to know. Oh, come on. Well, Gavin, why don&#39;t we talk about this week&#39;s top three list? Speaking of things that make you go, ew, disgusting foods you have eaten that make you realize you&#39;re a dad now. You are a dad. So my for number three for me was eating toast off the floor that my kid had thrown, and I was so pissed that they had thrown the toast on the floor, and it landed butterside down. But I picked that up to make a point and looked right in her little one-year-old face and took a bite of it and ate the entire thing. There was definitely dog hair on it. Number two, mashed bananas. I&#39;m definitely I&#39;m a yeah, I&#39;m a maybe you&#39;re a texture person too. I&#39;m a texture person. And mashed bananas absolutely I mean a banana that&#39;s even vaguely overripe. I can&#39;t do it. Um, absolutely. And but I had to uh show my kids that eating um bananas and eating mashed things was indeed what you&#39;re going to fucking do. So I will do it and demonstrate it and and gag, but shh hide my gag reflex. But number one was the time when my kids were in preschool or kindergarten and I picked up a lunchbox and I said, Hey, why didn&#39;t you eat your lunch yesterday? And they said, because it was mushy, and I picked it up. This I think it was literally salmon, it was smoked salmon and cream cheese that was a day old. And I looked at it and was like, it&#39;s not mushy, and I ate it. And I thought, I just took a bite of my kids&#39; leftover fish sandwich from the day before. Oh well, and I just ate it. And it wasn&#39;t it was and you lost so much weight, you&#39;ve never been skinnier. David: 11:30 You grew up for weeks, and you&#39;re like, I look amazing. Gavin: 11:33 That was that that was my number one. What about you? What disgusting things that you&#39;ve eaten that make you realize, oh god, I&#39;m a dad. David: 11:39 Mine are mostly categorical, but but so and number three, teething crackers. I will pop a teething cracker in my mouth as a snack if there&#39;s one left over on the counter and I&#39;m kind of hungry, and I never thought I would be eating a teething cracker, but there you go. Um, number two, this is a little bit of crossover for us, uh, floor stuff. Stuff on the floor. I will just grab something off the floor and eat it. No, just just I&#39;m hungry and I don&#39;t have time to eat. Or not even hungry. Yeah, that&#39;s the thing too. I mean, just whatever. And number one, I am ashamed, but I have for sure done this. Scraping like food out of the corner of your kid&#39;s mouth and then eating like an oatmeal, like oatmeal mouth, and you kind of scrape it off and just kind of pop it into your mouth. SPEAKER_03: 12:25 Ugh. David: 12:29 So, yeah, listen, I&#39;m not proud of it, but I I like to be honest here on the show. Gavin: 12:33 So I&#39;m feeling gag reflex right now. I really am. I really am. David: 12:37 So next week, I want to talk about the top three things that you miss now that you&#39;re a parent. Gavin: 12:43 That many things are already coming to mind. Let&#39;s hurry up and get to next week. Our guest this week is the chief program officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center of New York, which is most commonly known as the center. It is uh the center of so much history and uh community and culture. It&#39;s an honor to have him here. He has been a leader in nonprofit management for the past 20 years, though you would not know that looking at that fantastic lighting right now. He&#39;s a father of six-year-old twins. And honey, can he tell us about meddlesome helicopter parents? A big gateriarch, welcome to Daniel Reyes. Thank you for being here. Hi, Daniel. SPEAKER_00: 13:24 Hi, thank you for having me. Gavin: 13:25 Daniel, can you tell us a horror story of your own parenting journey? We love them here. We love it. David: 13:34 The messier, the better. SPEAKER_00: 13:35 The messier. That&#39;s what we&#39;re gonna do. Uh let&#39;s see. Um, I think one of the worst was uh uh Christmas Eve. Uh the boys were about one and sick. Gavin: 13:48 So uh rooting holidays. Exactly. SPEAKER_00: 13:52 So we&#39;re all dressed up, looking cute, and uh one I was just holding him, and next thing I know, there&#39;s projectile vomit all over me. So yeah. And then the other one went. So I was just like, oh dear. Oh, they were they were tag teaming, barping. Gavin: 14:08 And what were you doing at the time? Were you trying to take like fancy Christmas pictures or something?...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David gets in trouble for not trimming his grass, Gavin thinks everyone is a prude, and we are joined by Daniel Reyes, Chief Program Officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of New York, also known simply as “The Center”. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So all right, well let&#39;s just do what we have and then see if it it makes sense. Gavin: 0:03 And if not, then hey, is this now I confess. Is this the typing you were hearing? I hear that. What is that? That&#39;s my Rubik&#39;s Cube that I play with. David: 0:15 Gate fucking Lodge. I knew it. I knew there was something happening off camera. What the fuck? And this is Gatriarchs. So listen to this fucked up shit. I was literally just upstairs, literally just upstairs with my husband, and my husband was like, guess what? I was like, what? He said, we got a letter from the town about our grass. That is some Stepford shit right there. So listen, we uh I am not great about cutting the grass. I try to cut it once every two weeks, but inevitably, listen, I&#39;m a really big time podcaster now, so my time is limited. Um but I was literally planning on cutting it today. And he got they like stuck a letter through our mail slot and it basically says, your grass is higher than 12 inches. A number one, which is a lie. There is uh there is a weed that is taller than the rest of it, is just like a little overgrown grass. Yeah. Anyway, how fucked up is that? I&#39;ve I feel very attacked. Gavin: 1:26 I you should feel like it&#39;s superficially speaking, you have been very attacked. Also, do they realize that your son just goes out there and pisses in the um grass all the time? There&#39;s so much piss in that grass. I mean, you don&#39;t even have dogs, but you have pea stains just from your child out in front in your foot-tall grass. David: 1:42 If we had gotten a cease and de cist letter for your three-year-old pissing in the front yard, I would have been like, you know what, you&#39;re right. You&#39;re so right. Gavin: 1:50 You&#39;re so right. Like we live in a civilized society now and we don&#39;t let our children go out and do that. But um also before you cut it, which I re-imagine you&#39;re about to skidaddle right now and get out there out there and cut it, take a picture of the kid pissing in the grass. Because I want to see like his little butt cheeks from the back standing in in uh grass that is literally as high as an elephant&#39;s eye before you cut it, because that&#39;s gonna be make some great photography. David: 2:15 It is, I will I will take actually a picture, and whenever we have our show notes, which will never exist, um I will post a picture. I will post a picture of the grass. It is not overgrown. It&#39;s needs to be cut. But you&#39;re thinking of like if you lay in the grass, you would disappear. I&#39;m telling you, it&#39;s like major. Gavin: 2:31 Do you think this is a hate crime? They&#39;re like, how are we gonna go get those gays? We&#39;re gonna get them. We&#39;re gonna get them at their manicured lawn, which you are not representing the the stereotype here. Thanks a lot, David, for screwing it up for the rest of us. Is this your gay agenda? David: 2:45 I know that is totally my gay agenda. Uh, the other thing that I want to complain about before we talk about real things is um, so we are very fortunate what we have been reviewed very well by the the powers that be in the internet. We&#39;ve had a lot of really nice five-star reviews from our listeners. Thank you so much. That&#39;s that shit actually matters for those of you who don&#39;t understand how all of that works. Like, we as a podcast really struggle to get in front of people other than the obvi]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David gets in trouble for not trimming his grass, Gavin thinks everyone is a prude, and we are joined by Daniel Reyes, Chief Program Officer of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of New York, also known simply as “The Center”. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So all right, well let&#39;s just do what we have and then see if it it makes sense. Gavin: 0:03 And if not, then hey, is this now I confess. Is this the typing you were hearing? I hear that. What is that? That&#39;s my Rubik&#39;s Cube that I play with. David: 0:15 Gate fucking Lodge. I knew it. I knew there was something happening off camera. What the fuck? And this is Gatriarchs. So listen to this fucked up shit. I was literally just upstai]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with 2.ladies.and.2.babies</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-2-ladies-and-2-babies/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 02 Aug 2023 15:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is I would say our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 0:24 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 0:29 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 0:32 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Gavin: 1:24 Catnip. I cannot I was not aware of that. I can&#39;t have a. David: 1:28 I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child. And that&#39;s just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that was my low for pride because it made me feel really fucking shitty. It made me feel like, God, you know, you you you get really comfortable in a neighborhood and then you just remember, oh yeah, you&#39;re reminded that there&#39;s some kind of sleeper cells out there. Gavin: 2:10 And this I mean, in those sleeper cells, they must have been just a very vocal minority, right? From from on the fringes of your town, or are these people that you actually know? David: 2:18 No, it&#39;s a vocal minority, but I think what makes it feel so fucking shitty is that it&#39;s the it&#39;s the wrapped in positivity. It&#39;s like, no, no, no, I have no problem with the gays. It&#39;s just I&#39;m protecting the children, right? If people were outside out there saying, you know, kill the queers, it would actually make me feel a little safer in a weird way. Because it&#39;s just like, I know those people, I know where they are, I can, you know what I mean? Like, but it&#39;s the people who pretend that this is all in service of a child&#39;s future, which is all a lie, as we know. So, anyway, that was kind of my pride low. My pride high was we have a uh giant flag out, uh pride flag out for the month of pride, and it&#39;s it&#39;s three feet by two feet. It is obscene. No, it&#39;s three feet by five feet. Anyway, um, and uh we put it away, and um, that day, this woman came walking through our neighborhood, like an older woman, and she was like walking for exercise, and we were outside playing with our kids doing chalk on the front sidewalk, and she just waved at us, she goes, Happy pride! And it was just like this reminder of like she has walked by our house before, she knows we&#39;re gay dads, she&#39;s seen the flag, it was not up at the time, but she wanted us to know. It&#39;s like that woman in the parking lot I talked about about tennis. I remember it&#39;s like she wanted us to know that she sees us and that it&#39;s cool, and like that sort of thing is so meaningful to me. So that was my high of pride. Yeah, what about you? Gavin: 3:39 Visibility and representation. Well, so interestingly enough, in my community, this is funny. I thought about whether I wanted to bring this up or not, but it&#39;s definitely bringing it um close to home that we recently have a bit of a scandal going down because of a book that&#39;s in the library. SPEAKER_03: 3:53 Trauma. Gavin: 3:54 And it, I mean, it is a bit of like the moms for liberty is are they coming into my little tiny town in Connecticut, which is very possible because, of course, I mean, we aren&#39;t super, super red, we aren&#39;t super, super blue, we&#39;re we&#39;re pretty middle of the road. I mean, we&#39;re like, you know, it&#39;s Connecticut politics. Uh there&#39;s a lot of um New England Republicans here who are kind of um in the shadows and unfortunately being um over overpowered by the greater DeSantis agenda. And um the book is a is basically a frankly, for lack of a better term, uh, a graphic novel, so it&#39;s illustrated. It&#39;s a graphic novel that is almost like a sex manual for teens and even tweens. And it&#39;s meant to be instructive. It&#39;s meant to be the way I see it is it&#39;s sex positive and it is not misogynistic, violent porn. And even if I no, do I particularly want my eight-year-old to see it? Not really, but at the same time, if he did, he&#39;s just gonna kinda giggle about it or be a little weirded out. But it&#39;s like, hey, sex sex, and you know, uh my he he knows what the mechanics are, and so if he sees the mechanics um ri drawn, I don&#39;t think that that&#39;s actually a traumatizing or bad thing. Uh, it is unfortunately it&#39;s been a low point of pride. This literally happened during pride. And also, by the way, the sex manual shouldn&#39;t have to do anything to do with LGBTQ issues whatsoever. But of course it does because that&#39;s what people are freaked out about. Because it&#39;s not it&#39;s not just cisgendered heteronormative missionary position uh diagrams. It is much more expansive than that. So it&#39;s kind of it&#39;s a bummer that it&#39;s happened now, but I will say that um some people uh wrote a letter to uh the library asking not to ban the book, thank God. Supposedly, it&#39;s uh, but it could be a slippery slope to that, where they just want to put it in the adult section, like the adult, not the pornographic section, but the in the adult stacks. And um, and so 150 people signed that. And then um the other side, which I signed, um wrote, no, listen, this is um this is uh a slippery slope to banning books, this is censorship, and also these are these are important topics that even kids should be exposed to, even if it&#39;s awkward. And 450 people signed that letter. So that side has overpowered it. So that was a highlight. And then um, as I keep talking here, um moving into the highlight for me for Pride was I was went to my local uh hardware store just the other day, and it is in the middle of nowhere. I mean, absolutely off the grid. You can&#39;t even get Wi-Fi service there. It is uh in the middle of nowhere. And you know, it&#39;s everybody&#39;s always been super nice to me. I&#39;m sure they all know I&#39;m a gay dad. I&#39;ve brought the kids in the last decade. Yeah, everybody knows. I I just open my mouth and pearls and purses just come out. So there I am, and I go to the paint section, I&#39;m asking some advice about some paint, and then I noticed that they have a little cup that has uh rainbow on it and said pride. And I&#39;m like, and the cup had uh paint brushes in it or something like that. And I said, Oh, wow, hey, just like thanks for the visibility. And the woman said, Oh, yeah, I had a whole pride display earlier, and I had I used the um the paint chips, you know, and the colors, and I made a whole rainbow wheel, and I said happy pride, and I said, How did people react to that? And she said, Uh I mean, most people just said, Hey, thanks, hey, happy pride, this is great. And I&#39;m like, we are in the middle of nowhere. This is absolutely amazing to me. And she said there were a few people who grumbled, they were admittedly like some staff, but they grumbled and they moved on. And I&#39;m okay with people grumbling and moving on, frankly. I mean, so that was a that was a full high high of uh pride, was um real representation out in the middle of nowhere. Loved it. David: 7:36 So we posted on um our Instagram account for Father&#39;s Day. Uh again, we&#39;re a little uh we&#39;re recording a little ahead, but we posted like happy dilf day or something. I got multiple messages from multiple family members asking me what a dilf was, including my mom. SPEAKER_03: 7:56 My mom goes, What&#39;s a dilf? David: 7:58 And so now I&#39;m having to just like do I just say the words? Do I allude to it? Because you know, even though I&#39;m 43, I still don&#39;t like to say dirty words in front of my mom. She listens to the podcast. I told her this is a very explicit podcast. So um, yeah, she uh she asked, and then um also my sister, um I heard, uh, texted her daughter, my niece, um, like, what is a dilf? Because she wanted to know, but she didn&#39;t want me to know that she didn&#39;t know. Um, so that was kind of fun having to tell my mom what dilf means. Gavin: 8:29 And how did she respond to that? David: 8:31 She she she was like, oh, oh, like, you know, she was a little a little shocked, but yeah, uh, we support dilfts here. Gavin: 8:38 Uh we are definitely dilf friendly here at Gatriarchs, without a doubt. Which also reminds me of I&#39;m on a text thread with some friends, and um, and somehow we have labeled our ourselves we&#39;re we&#39;re climbing a mountain together later in um uh later in the year, and I am the only uh gay uh of the four people on the thread, and we have called ourselves the um the the mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like I and they and they uh we shared each other on Father&#39;s Day, hey Happy Father&#39;s Day mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, we might want to expand that a little bit. Like, happy father&#39;s day fatherfuckers as well, right? We need some representation in there, totally. Um, and speaking of curse words, let&#39;s move into our top three list this week. Let&#39;s do it. David: 9:21 Yes, uh, tell us about it. So this week, our top three list is top three favorite curse words or phrases. Um, I live to curse, I think you know that. So um, here are my personal favorites. Bring it on. Uh and number three, dickhole. Stop being such a fucking dickhole. Uh number two, dildo. Listen, I&#39;m pro dildos are wonderful, but I like as a as a slur, but you fucking dildo. That&#39;s my number two. Um, and number one, it&#39;s classic, it&#39;s old school, but it just feels so good to say. Asshole. Stop being an asshole. Yeah, that&#39;s number one for me. What about you? Gavin: 10:01 Uh this all reminded me of oh god, I&#39;m gonna both show my age in referencing old movies and the fact that I can&#39;t remember exactly which movie it is. Oh, it&#39;s E.T., where Elliot calls his brother penis breath. For me, number three is penis breath. Penis breath. Bring it at old school. Number two for me is damn it. And that&#39;s because I realized that we needed to start watching what we were saying in front of our kids when my kids started saying, Dem it! And I thought, wow, do I really have that inflection when I say damn it? And then finally, number one for me is well, I I sorry, I have to tell the story about it. When we I will always remember this is my greatest parenting story. David: 10:43 Should I lay down? Shall I get comfortable as a single story? Gavin: 10:46 Just put your I do know how to drag out a story or drag out a top three list. Uh we were decorating for Christmas a couple of years ago, many years ago, and I asked my kids, hey, by the way, you know what Christmas is about, right? Um we aren&#39;t uh super religious people, but I think it&#39;s good to know if you&#39;re gonna celebrate a holiday that um that you know why, you know, the reason for the literally the reason for the season, right? Well, it&#39;s to get presents. Well, yes, it is to get presents, and also um and and also for Santa Claus. Yes, there&#39;s Santa Claus. And I said, and also um in traditionally and historically, um, that&#39;s when Jesus was born. And my kid goes, You mean Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we didn&#39;t want to start laughing. Yeah. We said we don&#39;t usually use his middle name. So that is definitely my number one go-to when I am when I need to really make the full exclamation point. It&#39;s JFC. Jesus fucking Christ. David: 11:42 Jesus fucking Christ. Gavin: 11:43 That&#39;s a good one. All right, what are we doing next week for a topic? Okay, next week I want to hear about the three most disgusting things you&#39;ve eaten that made you realize, oh wow, I am seriously a dad right now. David: 11:58 So our next guest is the mastermind behind the brilliance that is the Two Ladies, Two Babies TikTok account. And if you haven&#39;t seen it, you are missing out on some borderline perfect parenting content. I personally consider them the lesbian version of me. So please welcome to the show, Caitlin Plaskett. Hi Caitlin. Good morning. SPEAKER_00: 12:20 Good morning. How are you, lovelies? Gavin: 12:22 Just before this, you said that you consider us the two gay aspects of yourself just split in two. SPEAKER_00: 12:28 Like begin and then completely divided. Yeah. You you guys, you guys are basically my dads here. It&#39;s like you&#39;re like, you&#39;re like, you created me. David: 12:36 Ooh, I was hoping for like a younger, better looking brother or like rich. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 You are literally, uh-uh, no, you are literally branded as gay dad podcasts. So, like, what are you doing? Okay, thank you. Gavin: 12:46 You&#39;re right. And then you&#39;re right. Right. She&#39;s she&#39;s leaning into exactly the way we market ourselves, and then look at us being all frail and insecure about our age issues. So, yes, you&#39;re right, Caitlin. You&#39;re exactly right. We&#39;ll be dads. We&#39;ll be your daddies. We will absolutely be your daddies. SPEAKER_00: 12:59 I&#39;ll take it. David: 13:00 So, for those of you out there who are listening who have not uh experienced the two ladies, two babies, I I think I came across you like probably most people, which is just like randomly in my FYP. And it was like, let&#39;s see, David is for sure gay. This is the algorithm talking. David is gay, he loves eating carbs, he&#39;s funny, he loves lesbians, he&#39;s a parent, he&#39;s like, like, like it was just like all the things stacked up. And I started watching you guys, and then I and I don&#39;t follow anyone because that&#39;s like you know, it&#39;s a very high level of respect to follow somebody. And then you just kept coming up in my fees. I was like, these people are so funny. And so I started following you, and then I reached out. I was like, you know what, you you you gotta just you gotta reach out for things in your life. And I&#39;m so glad you said yes, because your stuff is so funny, and um, you guys are from the south, like you&#39;re checking all the boxes here. So um I that was just that there was no question there. I was just like easily fangirling you. SPEAKER_00: 13:55 I really appreciate it because honestly, like it&#39;s very humble beginnings. That this is just you know something we do on the side for fun. And so for people to actually enjoy it, I mean, this is stuff we&#39;ve been doing since before it was popular, like posted on social media. So all of the harassment that you see...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s mos]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is I would say our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 0:24 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 0:29 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 0:32 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Gavin: 1:24 Catnip. I cannot I was not aware of that. I can&#39;t have a. David: 1:28 I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child. And that&#39;s just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that was my low for pride because it made me feel really fucking shitty. It made me feel like, God, you know, you you you get really comfortable in a neighborhood and then you just remember, oh yeah, you&#39;re reminded that there&#39;s some kind of sleeper cells out there. Gavin: 2:10 And this I mean, in those sleeper cells, they must have been just a very vocal minority, right? From from on the fringes of your town, or are these people that you actually know? David: 2:18 No, it&#39;s a vocal minority, but I think what makes it feel so fucking shitty is that it&#39;s the it&#39;s the wrapped in positivity. It&#39;s like, no, no, no, I have no problem with the gays. It&#39;s just I&#39;m protecting the children, right? If people were outside out there saying, you know, kill the queers, it would actually make me feel a little safer in a weird way. Because it&#39;s just like, I know those people, I know where they are, I can, you know what I mean? Like, but it&#39;s the people who pretend that this is all in service of a child&#39;s future, which is all a lie, as we know. So, anyway, that was kind of my pride low. My pride high was we have a uh giant flag out, uh pride flag out for the month of pride, and it&#39;s it&#39;s three feet by two feet. It is obscene. No, it&#39;s three feet by five feet. Anyway, um, and uh we put it away, and um, that day, this woman came walking through our neighborhood, like an older woman, and she was like walking for exercise, and we were outside playing with our kids doing chalk on the front sidewalk, and she just waved at us, she goes, Happy pride! And it was just like this reminder of like she has walked by our house before, she knows we&#39;re gay dads, she&#39;s seen the flag, it was not up at the time, but she wanted us to know. It&#39;s like that woman in the parking lot I talked about about tennis. I remember it&#39;s like she wanted us to know that she sees us and that it&#39;s cool, and like that sort of thing is so meaningful to me. So that was my high of pride. Yeah, what about you? Gavin: 3:39 Visibility and representation. Well, so interestingly enough, in my community, this is funny. I thought about whether I wanted to bring this up or not, but it&#39;s definitely bringing it um close to home that we recently have a bit of a scandal going down because of a book that&#39;s in the library. SPEAKER_03: 3:53 Trauma. Gavin: 3:54 And it, I mean, it is a bit of like the moms for liberty is are they coming into my little tiny town in Connecticut, which is very possible because, of course, I mean, we aren&#39;t super, super red, we aren&#39;t super, super blue, we&#39;re we&#39;re pretty middle of the road. I mean, we&#39;re like, you know, it&#39;s Connecticut politics. Uh there&#39;s a lot of um New England Republicans here who are kind of um in the shadows and unfortunately being um over overpowered by the greater DeSantis agenda. And um the book is a is basically a frankly, for lack of a better term, uh, a graphic novel, so it&#39;s illustrated. It&#39;s a graphic novel that is almost like a sex manual for teens and even tweens. And it&#39;s meant to be instructive. It&#39;s meant to be the way I see it is it&#39;s sex positive and it is not misogynistic, violent porn. And even if I no, do I particularly want my eight-year-old to see it? Not really, but at the same time, if he did, he&#39;s just gonna kinda giggle about it or be a little weirded out. But it&#39;s like, hey, sex sex, and you know, uh my he he knows what the mechanics are, and so if he sees the mechanics um ri drawn, I don&#39;t think that that&#39;s actually a traumatizing or bad thing. Uh, it is unfortunately it&#39;s been a low point of pride. This literally happened during pride. And also, by the way, the sex manual shouldn&#39;t have to do anything to do with LGBTQ issues whatsoever. But of course it does because that&#39;s what people are freaked out about. Because it&#39;s not it&#39;s not just cisgendered heteronormative missionary position uh diagrams. It is much more expansive than that. So it&#39;s kind of it&#39;s a bummer that it&#39;s happened now, but I will say that um some people uh wrote a letter to uh the library asking not to ban the book, thank God. Supposedly, it&#39;s uh, but it could be a slippery slope to that, where they just want to put it in the adult section, like the adult, not the pornographic section, but the in the adult stacks. And um, and so 150 people signed that. And then um the other side, which I signed, um wrote, no, listen, this is um this is uh a slippery slope to banning books, this is censorship, and also these are these are important topics that even kids should be exposed to, even if it&#39;s awkward. And 450 people signed that letter. So that side has overpowered it. So that was a highlight. And then um, as I keep talking here, um moving into the highlight for me for Pride was I was went to my local uh hardware store just the other day, and it is in the middle of nowhere. I mean, absolutely off the grid. You can&#39;t even get Wi-Fi service there. It is uh in the middle of nowhere. And you know, it&#39;s everybody&#39;s always been super nice to me. I&#39;m sure they all know I&#39;m a gay dad. I&#39;ve brought the kids in the last decade. Yeah, everybody knows. I I just open my mouth and pearls and purses just come out. So there I am, and I go to the paint section, I&#39;m asking some advice about some paint, and then I noticed that they have a little cup that has uh rainbow on it and said pride. And I&#39;m like, and the cup had uh paint brushes in it or something like that. And I said, Oh, wow, hey, just like thanks for the visibility. And the woman said, Oh, yeah, I had a whole pride display earlier, and I had I used the um the paint chips, you know, and the colors, and I made a whole rainbow wheel, and I said happy pride, and I said, How did people react to that? And she said, Uh I mean, most people just said, Hey, thanks, hey, happy pride, this is great. And I&#39;m like, we are in the middle of nowhere. This is absolutely amazing to me. And she said there were a few people who grumbled, they were admittedly like some staff, but they grumbled and they moved on. And I&#39;m okay with people grumbling and moving on, frankly. I mean, so that was a that was a full high high of uh pride, was um real representation out in the middle of nowhere. Loved it. David: 7:36 So we posted on um our Instagram account for Father&#39;s Day. Uh again, we&#39;re a little uh we&#39;re recording a little ahead, but we posted like happy dilf day or something. I got multiple messages from multiple family members asking me what a dilf was, including my mom. SPEAKER_03: 7:56 My mom goes, What&#39;s a dilf? David: 7:58 And so now I&#39;m having to just like do I just say the words? Do I allude to it? Because you know, even though I&#39;m 43, I still don&#39;t like to say dirty words in front of my mom. She listens to the podcast. I told her this is a very explicit podcast. So um, yeah, she uh she asked, and then um also my sister, um I heard, uh, texted her daughter, my niece, um, like, what is a dilf? Because she wanted to know, but she didn&#39;t want me to know that she didn&#39;t know. Um, so that was kind of fun having to tell my mom what dilf means. Gavin: 8:29 And how did she respond to that? David: 8:31 She she she was like, oh, oh, like, you know, she was a little a little shocked, but yeah, uh, we support dilfts here. Gavin: 8:38 Uh we are definitely dilf friendly here at Gatriarchs, without a doubt. Which also reminds me of I&#39;m on a text thread with some friends, and um, and somehow we have labeled our ourselves we&#39;re we&#39;re climbing a mountain together later in um uh later in the year, and I am the only uh gay uh of the four people on the thread, and we have called ourselves the um the the mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like I and they and they uh we shared each other on Father&#39;s Day, hey Happy Father&#39;s Day mountain climbing motherfuckers, and I&#39;m like, we might want to expand that a little bit. Like, happy father&#39;s day fatherfuckers as well, right? We need some representation in there, totally. Um, and speaking of curse words, let&#39;s move into our top three list this week. Let&#39;s do it. David: 9:21 Yes, uh, tell us about it. So this week, our top three list is top three favorite curse words or phrases. Um, I live to curse, I think you know that. So um, here are my personal favorites. Bring it on. Uh and number three, dickhole. Stop being such a fucking dickhole. Uh number two, dildo. Listen, I&#39;m pro dildos are wonderful, but I like as a as a slur, but you fucking dildo. That&#39;s my number two. Um, and number one, it&#39;s classic, it&#39;s old school, but it just feels so good to say. Asshole. Stop being an asshole. Yeah, that&#39;s number one for me. What about you? Gavin: 10:01 Uh this all reminded me of oh god, I&#39;m gonna both show my age in referencing old movies and the fact that I can&#39;t remember exactly which movie it is. Oh, it&#39;s E.T., where Elliot calls his brother penis breath. For me, number three is penis breath. Penis breath. Bring it at old school. Number two for me is damn it. And that&#39;s because I realized that we needed to start watching what we were saying in front of our kids when my kids started saying, Dem it! And I thought, wow, do I really have that inflection when I say damn it? And then finally, number one for me is well, I I sorry, I have to tell the story about it. When we I will always remember this is my greatest parenting story. David: 10:43 Should I lay down? Shall I get comfortable as a single story? Gavin: 10:46 Just put your I do know how to drag out a story or drag out a top three list. Uh we were decorating for Christmas a couple of years ago, many years ago, and I asked my kids, hey, by the way, you know what Christmas is about, right? Um we aren&#39;t uh super religious people, but I think it&#39;s good to know if you&#39;re gonna celebrate a holiday that um that you know why, you know, the reason for the literally the reason for the season, right? Well, it&#39;s to get presents. Well, yes, it is to get presents, and also um and and also for Santa Claus. Yes, there&#39;s Santa Claus. And I said, and also um in traditionally and historically, um, that&#39;s when Jesus was born. And my kid goes, You mean Jesus fucking Christ? And my partner and I couldn&#39;t look at each other because we didn&#39;t want to start laughing. Yeah. We said we don&#39;t usually use his middle name. So that is definitely my number one go-to when I am when I need to really make the full exclamation point. It&#39;s JFC. Jesus fucking Christ. David: 11:42 Jesus fucking Christ. Gavin: 11:43 That&#39;s a good one. All right, what are we doing next week for a topic? Okay, next week I want to hear about the three most disgusting things you&#39;ve eaten that made you realize, oh wow, I am seriously a dad right now. David: 11:58 So our next guest is the mastermind behind the brilliance that is the Two Ladies, Two Babies TikTok account. And if you haven&#39;t seen it, you are missing out on some borderline perfect parenting content. I personally consider them the lesbian version of me. So please welcome to the show, Caitlin Plaskett. Hi Caitlin. Good morning. SPEAKER_00: 12:20 Good morning. How are you, lovelies? Gavin: 12:22 Just before this, you said that you consider us the two gay aspects of yourself just split in two. SPEAKER_00: 12:28 Like begin and then completely divided. Yeah. You you guys, you guys are basically my dads here. It&#39;s like you&#39;re like, you&#39;re like, you created me. David: 12:36 Ooh, I was hoping for like a younger, better looking brother or like rich. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 You are literally, uh-uh, no, you are literally branded as gay dad podcasts. So, like, what are you doing? Okay, thank you. Gavin: 12:46 You&#39;re right. And then you&#39;re right. Right. She&#39;s she&#39;s leaning into exactly the way we market ourselves, and then look at us being all frail and insecure about our age issues. So, yes, you&#39;re right, Caitlin. You&#39;re exactly right. We&#39;ll be dads. We&#39;ll be your daddies. We will absolutely be your daddies. SPEAKER_00: 12:59 I&#39;ll take it. David: 13:00 So, for those of you out there who are listening who have not uh experienced the two ladies, two babies, I I think I came across you like probably most people, which is just like randomly in my FYP. And it was like, let&#39;s see, David is for sure gay. This is the algorithm talking. David is gay, he loves eating carbs, he&#39;s funny, he loves lesbians, he&#39;s a parent, he&#39;s like, like, like it was just like all the things stacked up. And I started watching you guys, and then I and I don&#39;t follow anyone because that&#39;s like you know, it&#39;s a very high level of respect to follow somebody. And then you just kept coming up in my fees. I was like, these people are so funny. And so I started following you, and then I reached out. I was like, you know what, you you you gotta just you gotta reach out for things in your life. And I&#39;m so glad you said yes, because your stuff is so funny, and um, you guys are from the south, like you&#39;re checking all the boxes here. So um I that was just that there was no question there. I was just like easily fangirling you. SPEAKER_00: 13:55 I really appreciate it because honestly, like it&#39;s very humble beginnings. That this is just you know something we do on the side for fun. And so for people to actually enjoy it, I mean, this is stuff we&#39;ve been doing since before it was popular, like posted on social media. So all of the harassment that you see...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is I would say our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuck up. David: 0:24 It&#39;s fun to watch you watch yourself and then crumble into pieces. Gavin: 0:29 Oh my god, I hate myself sometimes. David: 0:32 And this is Gatriarchs. So we are kind of we&#39;re recording a little early and we&#39;re a little messed up with our timelines, but I didn&#39;t want Pride to go by. Um, it&#39;s already August, I know when you&#39;re listening to this, but I didn&#39;t want to go Pride to go by without us kind of talking about our highs and lows. Because I feel like this year&#39;s Pride was great, but I had a high and a low I wanted to mention. So my low was on our neighborhood group. Somebody posted, can you believe that they posted an LGBTQ Pride little rainbow in the hallway of the elementary school? And of course, the Facebook feed fucking blew up. And I am Facebook fights, catnip for me. Gavin: 1:24 Catnip. I cannot I was not aware of that. I can&#39;t have a. David: 1:28 I mean, hello. First of all, okay, boomer. Yeah, oh, totally. Okay, boomer. Total boomer. And so I got in there and I was like, so people were arguing back and forth, like, should it be posted? You know, how dare they? Blah, blah, blah. So I kind of popped in and was like, hey guys, gay dad with a son who&#39;s going in elementary school next year. Here&#39;s my point of view on this. And everyone was like, well, yeah, but then they&#39;re gonna have to describe what LGBTQ means to a child. And that&#39;s just protect the child. You know, it&#39;s it&#39;s all the right, it&#39;s all the smoke screens, right? So that that was my low for pride because it made me feel really fucking shitty. It made me feel like, God, you know, you you you get really comfortable in a neighborhood and then you just remember, oh yeah, you&#39;re reminded that there&#39;s some kind of sleeper cells out there. Gavin: 2:10 And this I mean, in those sleeper cells, they must have been just a very vocal minority, right? From from on the fringes of your town, or are these people that you actually know? David: 2:18 No, it&#39;s a vocal minority, but I think what makes it feel so fucking shitty is that it&#39;s the it&#39;s the wrapped in positivity. It&#39;s like, no, no, no, I have no problem with the gays. It&#39;s just I&#39;m protecting the children, right? If people were outside out there saying, you know, kill the queers, it would actually make me feel a little safer in a weird way. Because it&#39;s just like, I know those people, I know where they are, I can, you know what I mean? Like, but it&#39;s the people who pretend that this is all in service of a child&#39;s future, which is all a lie, as we know. So, anyway, that was kind of my pride low. My pride high was we have a uh giant flag out, uh pride flag out for the month of pride, and it&#39;s it&#39;s three feet by two feet. It is obscene. No, it&#39;s three feet by five feet. Anyway, um, and uh we put it away, and um, that day, this woman came walking through our neighborhood, like an older woman, and she w]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we review our highs and lows of 2023 Pride, we talk about our top 3 favorite curse words or phrases, and are lucky enough to be visited by the genius behind the 2.ladies.2.babies TikTok account Caitlyn, who talks about being Virginia&apos;s most famous lesbians, buying discount sperm, and how she&apos;s turned scaring her wife into a real business. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 So keeping in line with, frankly, the theme of the day, which is I would say our theme today, it&#39;s like Sesame Street at the end say, This show was brought to you by the letter A and the number 17, right? Well, um, sticking with our lesbian theme here, which has been, by the way, awesome. Like I need to make that disclaimer. Okay, shut the fuc]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Jonathan &#038; Thomas West</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jonathan-thomas-west/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jul 2023 19:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter covers him in love, Gavin has thoughts on summer camp, and our guests this week Jonathan and Thomas West join us to talk about their new book, how they got into the podcast racket, and what actually goes on in the showers in the military.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on another social media episode. unknown: 0:07 Sorry. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time when you watch our Instagram stories of our podcast. Uh and listen to us on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on social media when you get to watch our outtakes. And we can&#39;t wait to talk at you on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks, and we&#39;ll jump towards you next time on another episode of Thanks. David: 0:29 And maybe next time Gavin will just read the copy and do a recording. Oh shit, Steve. Okay. And this is Gatriarch. So we have a little back deck, and we&#39;re sitting outside, and it&#39;s one of those rare moments with my daughter who&#39;s one and a half, where she&#39;s sitting in my lap. She&#39;s calm. She&#39;s like tracing her fingers on my face. It&#39;s very sweet. She keeps like looking behind me and she&#39;s looking at the birds. And she just takes her finger and she just drags it down my face, right? And she&#39;s like doing this side of my face and like almost like she&#39;s painting. And it&#39;s really sweet. And I just have one of those moments that was like, finally, there&#39;s a moment of peace. There&#39;s a moment of just like she&#39;s not crying. There&#39;s nothing, there&#39;s no chaos happening. She&#39;s just enjoying this thing. And then I&#39;m like, why don&#39;t you keep looking behind me? And I turn around and I look at the railing that I&#39;m sitting next to, and I&#39;m realizing she&#39;s dipping her fingers into bird shit and she&#39;s drawing it down my face in this beautiful moment. Gavin: 1:49 Oh. See, this is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. David: 1:53 This is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. You know, it&#39;s yeah. Children are disgusting. Disgusting. Anyway, that&#39;s how my week started. Gavin: 2:00 Well, my week started, uh, my kids are at summer camp all week long. And theoretically, that means it&#39;s just been nothing but like sex, drugs, and rock and roll all week long. Let me tell you. Um, it&#39;s really just like I gotta catch, I can finally feel like I&#39;m catching up on, you know, shit. But we started out and we were dropping the kids off, and we said, What do you want for you know your last supper, your last meal? They said McDonald&#39;s, and we were like, that tracks. So we go to McDonald&#39;s, and I was not aware because I we don&#39;t go to McDonald&#39;s that much, that McDonald&#39;s is having a whole promotion about Grimace&#39;s birthday. Okay. Now I know that I&#39;m much older than you are, David. So you with you and your youth, do you even have any idea who Grimace is? David: 2:43 Of course, he&#39;s the big purple monster. Gavin: 2:45 Right, but nobody else knows who the purple monster is, right? They don&#39;t have I don&#39;t think they don&#39;t have Saturday morning cartoons anymore. David: 2:52 The the whole thing will remember the hamburglar, but I think Grimace are a whole bunch of them. Gavin: 2:59 My kids, yeah, and the the Fry Guys and the Hamburglar and whatnot. Well, that&#39;s all from the what? 80s. My kids have absolutely no idea who Grimace is, uh whatsoever. But they just know they see a big purple thing and a milkshake, and it&#39;s Grimace&#39;s birthday, and they&#39;re like, I want that. So we did end up getting Grimace&#39;s birthday uh milkshakes, and they we passed the milkshake around trying to figure out what fruity flavor it was, which might have just been like fruity milk left over from fruity pebbles. And uh, but anyway, I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole to be like, what is up with the does anybody else know who Grimace is? And I didn&#39;t realize that I mean, because I&#39;m yeah, uh not it completely on TikTok all the time, that it&#39;s a whole TikTok meme right now where people are making videos about sipping the milkshakes and then immediately cutting to a murder scene where usually people have like poured the milkshake out on their faces like they&#39;ve just been killed by Grimace. And it just makes me so happy. The creativity is endless, and I fucking I&#39;m here for it. But my kids still don&#39;t know who Grimace is. And frankly, when they get back from camp tomorrow, I can&#39;t wait to show them that they need to make their own Grimace murder scene. David: 4:09 So I&#39;ve been in Doctrine, I think I told you a couple weeks ago, every week we&#39;re doing a new like 90s band that I&#39;m playing in the car as we go here. This week is Spice Girls Week. And I was very excited because I was like, I love Spice Girls. Name more than two Spice Girl songs. You can&#39;t because they only had literally two hits. So I kind of ran out of. Gavin: 4:29 I okay. I was uh I my college uh my senior in college, all of my roommates and I were the Spice Girls for Halloween. I was Baby Spice because I was blonder then. And my I will say, I&#39;m not I&#39;m not gonna throw anybody under the bus here, but I was not a huge fan. I like I just I don&#39;t know, I was I was distracted by other shit, but I didn&#39;t go full in. But my my roommates kind of ironically became huge Spice Girls fans, and so we really knew all of the songs. All now, can I name them? I don&#39;t know, but we did go see Colors of the World or whatever the spice Spice World, the movie opening night. And it was us and a bunch of like Taylor Swift fans from the mid-90s, you know, the equivalent of. We were by far, no, we weren&#39;t creepy old men, but we were like the weirdos from college who were in the opening night of the movie. So years ago, I uh was lucky enough to travel to Africa. SPEAKER_00: 5:23 I was in a chicken bus in the middle of somewhere in uh Kenya, normal, and I suddenly heard colors of the world, every boy and every killer life. Gavin: 5:36 And I was like, why do I know the lyrics to this song? And I couldn&#39;t, it took me a while to figure out which song it was, and then I realized they were playing that whole album, and I really knew the songs better than I realized. David: 5:47 So that&#39;s the thing about like the early 90s that&#39;s so different, or even the 80s and 70s, I guess, is that there were only a there were a finite amount of songs, so you just hear them a lot. Now there are billions of artists that you don&#39;t even know about. No, that you don&#39;t even know about. So, like back in the day, there was like eight songs that would play in the radio. So, of course, you would learn all eight songs. Um, but speaking of indoctrination, this is just a rant, and I swear we&#39;ll move on to our guests who are really great. Or no, our top three list. But so there&#39;s this episode of Radio Lab, and it&#39;s called American-ish. And it was talking about people who aren&#39;t fully American for whatever reason. And they were interviewing this woman, and she was a lesbian, and she lived in American Samoa. And they were talking about, would you want to be fully American? And she&#39;s like, Well, no, I like living here. And they were like, But you can, you know, you can&#39;t get married here. It&#39;s illegal here in America. You could. And she goes, Well, I&#39;m a Republican. And my brain, of course, went to, what the fuck? This, this, this sect of people who join groups that hate them. And I just I&#39;m always fascinated in the darkest way of why. And then she said this thing, and it broke my heart. She goes, Because I&#39;d rather be rich than be married. And so what broke my heart about it was not that she was wrong or she was misinformed, was that she fully believed that republicanism equals being rich. So she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t have to marry my wife if I can be this rich person. And it broke my heart because that is that grift that keeps that fucking train running. Gavin: 7:17 Anyway, that&#39;s my that is absolutely yes. The the the the false idea and the false narrative that that American dream is equal to is available for anybody who just works hard enough. And that illusion that we can all become millionaires and billionaires living that American dream if we&#39;re just taxed less and more hateful. I mean, we did it by starting this podcast, and now we&#39;re millionaires from all the income we&#39;re getting. And and and we&#39;ll probably be Republicans by this time next year. So, like I said, the kids are at summer camp this week. Right. And it was so interesting because for once we weren&#39;t in a hurry. They we didn&#39;t have to drive very far. And so we had like the whole morning on Saturday to kind of hang out before we took off. And all of us were kind of at a loss of what to do because we had a couple hours to kill. And I started not nervously, but I&#39;m like, well, this is a good time to, I don&#39;t know, clean up the kitchen a little bit, do some vacuuming, even though should I be like really bonding with my children right now? Should we be doing something as if this is some, as if this is some, I don&#39;t know, huge rite of passage that they need to have quality time for their last memories with their dads? No, fuck that. They just wanted to be on their devices, right? So I was like, okay, just have your because they obviously do not have them at camp. So I&#39;m just vacuuming and whatnot. And I, but I did start to feel this little sense of like, is this what it&#39;s gonna be like when they go to college? And am I gonna be so almost, well, obviously bereft, but am I not gonna know what to do with my time? So I&#39;m like, I think I&#39;ll just vacuum before I take my kid to college. And and feeling really getting into my head about like, this is uh something, I need to make this momentous, or I need to make use of my time, or I&#39;m just gonna sit down and I don&#39;t know, not know what to do with myself because of this sense of impending doom. And I so basically, you know, that was how I suddenly felt like, uh, my kids are going to college. I mean camp, and I don&#39;t know what to do with myself. It was um, it was an interesting downward spiral of my rabbit hole brain in the moment. Speaking of downward spirals, let&#39;s move to judgment, shall we? Judging how other people parent their children. So this week&#39;s top three list is the three worst behaviors you&#39;ve witnessed in other parents. Number three for me goes back a few years when I was actually talking to somebody, a parent, who said to me, Well, what&#39;s the big difference if my kid does cocaine someday? I mean, I did it and I&#39;m fine. And I thought, holy shit. Now I know that&#39;s gonna sound super cocaine for babies. I mean, I know this is gonna sound all of this is gonna sound super prudish, especially when I look at my list. And hey, you do you and be safe and don&#39;t hurt other people, but I&#39;m not sure that the idea that why can&#39;t my kids do cocaine because I did it and I&#39;m fine is uh really the way we want to raise kids, right? Number two, not being aware of what&#39;s going on on your kids&#39; iPads or iPhones. Now, listen, I my kids are behind closed doors with their devices an awful lot of the time, but I do have some semblance of an idea of what&#39;s going on. And when I hear a group of kids together listening and a bunch of eight-year-olds or nine-year-olds listening to songs about doggy style and um having sex, which is actually something that I witnessed recently. And the parent was sitting there with me and was completely oblivious to any of it going on. And I&#39;m like, Don&#39;t you have how are you filtering out the entire world around you? So having some semblance of understanding what&#39;s going on in your um kids&#39; devices, I think is uh pretty important. And then finally, number one for me, screaming on the sidelines of a soccer game, aside from just general support, but belittling your children from the sidelines is something that I just cannot abide. And I don&#39;t know, I all parents should just be muzzled on the side of the soccer um sidelines. So for me, those are three obnoxious behaviors that I will never take part in. Um, David, are you just dying because this is also sincere and uh serious? No, I&#39;m about to fuck that up. David: 11:14 Um so in number three for me, and this is slightly serious, is when other parents will yell at their kids in front of me for me. Like there&#39;s this like performative way of like get your fucking ass in the car, and they look at me like this douchebag, am I right? And I&#39;m like, yes, your kid is a douche, but also like don&#39;t yell at him extra because you&#39;re performing for me. Yeah, like that&#39;s always super annoying. Um, number two, baby talk. When fucking parents talk baby talk to either their babies or their pets or to anybody, I hate you and I hate. And number three, the three I think the number one worst thing about other parents is when they&#39;re a better parent than I am. SPEAKER_05: 11:58 Fuck those people. David: 12:00 Oh, I&#39;m like, stop being better than me. Uh that&#39;s my number one. Uh next week totally relatable. Next week, we&#39;re gonna keep it clean. Oh next, usually my job. We&#39;re gonna do something easy and fun and has nothing to do with kids. Good. Next week, what are your top three favorite curse words or phrases? Gavin: 12:20 Oh fuck yeah, that&#39;s gonna be good. David: 12:24 All right, so our next guests are two gay dads who recently wrote a book called A Kids Book About Gay Parents, which I&#39;m sure is currently being banned as we speak in Florida. Um, they live in Vermont, they have four adopted children, and they just got into the gay parenting podcast racket too. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 Come on into this pool. David: 12:42 Please welcome Little Corner of the Gay Parenting World, Jonathan and Thomas West. Woohoo! Boy No. Hey guys, good morning. You guys are in the podcasting racket now too, and it&#39;s just a huge drift. SPEAKER_04: 12:55 So, no, when we so when we had our first episode and we introduced ourselves, we&#39;re like, Yeah, we&#39;re jumping into the podcast world. And I was like, what did I say? I was like, we&#39;re jumping into the to the pool. No, I said the pool, yeah, which is literally not, absolutely not. There are almost in some sense in some ways, there are too many podcasts. Of course. So I was like, wait, we&#39;re not jumping into the pool, we&#39;re jumping into the ocean, ocean, and it&#39;s crowded of people. Gavin: 13:22 Coney island, Coney Island on the 4th of July, uh, levels of crowdedness. David: 13:26 But just syringes in your feet, band-aids stuck to you that aren&#39;t yours. Gavin: 13:31 But you guys are the only ones who have your hat, your branded hats of daddy and papa. Do you ever switch hats just to screw around with your audience? SPEAKER_04: 13:38 Well, actually, our second episode, we first, our one of our mics wasn&#39;t turned on. Nice. Which we found out after the fact, and we still we we kind of just went with it. And I didn&#39;t realize that I was wearing a daddy hat, which I&#39;m which is totally fine, but that&#39;s not the name I go by. SPEAKER_06: 13:57 No, right, and he didn&#39;t notice, I didn&#39;t notice. Yeah, we went through the entire thing. I&#39;m like staring at his head the entire podcast, and then I realized we keep looking back at the video, and we&#39;re like, oh, that&#39;s not that&#39;s not. David: 14:07 I mean, you are a daddy, but every other gay parent in the whole world is mad at you for grabbing the Instagram handle at daddy and papa. Are you fucking kidding me? You nailed that. I mean, you got it. That was the one, and now, yeah, you guys are daddyandpapa.com too. SPEAKER_04: 14:25 I mean, it&#39;s like No, and we weren&#39;t the first to jump in as like the gay, queer parents on it&#39;s on Instagram or just...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter covers him in love, Gavin has thoughts on summer camp, and our guests this week Jonathan and Thomas West join us to talk about their new book, how they got into the podcast racket, and what actually goes on in the showers]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter covers him in love, Gavin has thoughts on summer camp, and our guests this week Jonathan and Thomas West join us to talk about their new book, how they got into the podcast racket, and what actually goes on in the showers in the military.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on another social media episode. unknown: 0:07 Sorry. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time when you watch our Instagram stories of our podcast. Uh and listen to us on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on social media when you get to watch our outtakes. And we can&#39;t wait to talk at you on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks, and we&#39;ll jump towards you next time on another episode of Thanks. David: 0:29 And maybe next time Gavin will just read the copy and do a recording. Oh shit, Steve. Okay. And this is Gatriarch. So we have a little back deck, and we&#39;re sitting outside, and it&#39;s one of those rare moments with my daughter who&#39;s one and a half, where she&#39;s sitting in my lap. She&#39;s calm. She&#39;s like tracing her fingers on my face. It&#39;s very sweet. She keeps like looking behind me and she&#39;s looking at the birds. And she just takes her finger and she just drags it down my face, right? And she&#39;s like doing this side of my face and like almost like she&#39;s painting. And it&#39;s really sweet. And I just have one of those moments that was like, finally, there&#39;s a moment of peace. There&#39;s a moment of just like she&#39;s not crying. There&#39;s nothing, there&#39;s no chaos happening. She&#39;s just enjoying this thing. And then I&#39;m like, why don&#39;t you keep looking behind me? And I turn around and I look at the railing that I&#39;m sitting next to, and I&#39;m realizing she&#39;s dipping her fingers into bird shit and she&#39;s drawing it down my face in this beautiful moment. Gavin: 1:49 Oh. See, this is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. David: 1:53 This is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. You know, it&#39;s yeah. Children are disgusting. Disgusting. Anyway, that&#39;s how my week started. Gavin: 2:00 Well, my week started, uh, my kids are at summer camp all week long. And theoretically, that means it&#39;s just been nothing but like sex, drugs, and rock and roll all week long. Let me tell you. Um, it&#39;s really just like I gotta catch, I can finally feel like I&#39;m catching up on, you know, shit. But we started out and we were dropping the kids off, and we said, What do you want for you know your last supper, your last meal? They said McDonald&#39;s, and we were like, that tracks. So we go to McDonald&#39;s, and I was not aware because I we don&#39;t go to McDonald&#39;s that much, that McDonald&#39;s is having a whole promotion about Grimace&#39;s birthday. Okay. Now I know that I&#39;m much older than you are, David. So you with you and your youth, do you even have any idea who Grimace is? David: 2:43 Of course, he&#39;s the big purple monster. Gavin: 2:45 Right, but nobody else knows who the purple monster is, right? They don&#39;t have I don&#39;t think they don&#39;t have Saturday morning cartoons anymore. David: 2:52 The the whole thing will remember the hamburglar, but I think Grimace are a whole bunch of them. Gavin: 2:59 My kids, yeah, and the the Fry Guys and the Hamburglar and whatnot. Well, that&#39;s all from the what? 80s. My kids have absolutely no idea who Grimace is, uh whatsoever. But they just know they see a big purple thing and a milkshake, and it&#39;s Grimace&#39;s birthday, and they&#39;re like, I want that. So we did end up getting Grimace&#39;s birthday uh milkshakes, and they we passed the milkshake around trying to figure out what fruity flavor it was, which might have just been like fruity milk left over from fruity pebbles. And uh, but anyway, I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole to be like, what is up with the does anybody else know who Grimace is? And I didn&#39;t realize that I mean, because I&#39;m yeah, uh not it completely on TikTok all the time, that it&#39;s a whole TikTok meme right now where people are making videos about sipping the milkshakes and then immediately cutting to a murder scene where usually people have like poured the milkshake out on their faces like they&#39;ve just been killed by Grimace. And it just makes me so happy. The creativity is endless, and I fucking I&#39;m here for it. But my kids still don&#39;t know who Grimace is. And frankly, when they get back from camp tomorrow, I can&#39;t wait to show them that they need to make their own Grimace murder scene. David: 4:09 So I&#39;ve been in Doctrine, I think I told you a couple weeks ago, every week we&#39;re doing a new like 90s band that I&#39;m playing in the car as we go here. This week is Spice Girls Week. And I was very excited because I was like, I love Spice Girls. Name more than two Spice Girl songs. You can&#39;t because they only had literally two hits. So I kind of ran out of. Gavin: 4:29 I okay. I was uh I my college uh my senior in college, all of my roommates and I were the Spice Girls for Halloween. I was Baby Spice because I was blonder then. And my I will say, I&#39;m not I&#39;m not gonna throw anybody under the bus here, but I was not a huge fan. I like I just I don&#39;t know, I was I was distracted by other shit, but I didn&#39;t go full in. But my my roommates kind of ironically became huge Spice Girls fans, and so we really knew all of the songs. All now, can I name them? I don&#39;t know, but we did go see Colors of the World or whatever the spice Spice World, the movie opening night. And it was us and a bunch of like Taylor Swift fans from the mid-90s, you know, the equivalent of. We were by far, no, we weren&#39;t creepy old men, but we were like the weirdos from college who were in the opening night of the movie. So years ago, I uh was lucky enough to travel to Africa. SPEAKER_00: 5:23 I was in a chicken bus in the middle of somewhere in uh Kenya, normal, and I suddenly heard colors of the world, every boy and every killer life. Gavin: 5:36 And I was like, why do I know the lyrics to this song? And I couldn&#39;t, it took me a while to figure out which song it was, and then I realized they were playing that whole album, and I really knew the songs better than I realized. David: 5:47 So that&#39;s the thing about like the early 90s that&#39;s so different, or even the 80s and 70s, I guess, is that there were only a there were a finite amount of songs, so you just hear them a lot. Now there are billions of artists that you don&#39;t even know about. No, that you don&#39;t even know about. So, like back in the day, there was like eight songs that would play in the radio. So, of course, you would learn all eight songs. Um, but speaking of indoctrination, this is just a rant, and I swear we&#39;ll move on to our guests who are really great. Or no, our top three list. But so there&#39;s this episode of Radio Lab, and it&#39;s called American-ish. And it was talking about people who aren&#39;t fully American for whatever reason. And they were interviewing this woman, and she was a lesbian, and she lived in American Samoa. And they were talking about, would you want to be fully American? And she&#39;s like, Well, no, I like living here. And they were like, But you can, you know, you can&#39;t get married here. It&#39;s illegal here in America. You could. And she goes, Well, I&#39;m a Republican. And my brain, of course, went to, what the fuck? This, this, this sect of people who join groups that hate them. And I just I&#39;m always fascinated in the darkest way of why. And then she said this thing, and it broke my heart. She goes, Because I&#39;d rather be rich than be married. And so what broke my heart about it was not that she was wrong or she was misinformed, was that she fully believed that republicanism equals being rich. So she&#39;s like, I don&#39;t have to marry my wife if I can be this rich person. And it broke my heart because that is that grift that keeps that fucking train running. Gavin: 7:17 Anyway, that&#39;s my that is absolutely yes. The the the the false idea and the false narrative that that American dream is equal to is available for anybody who just works hard enough. And that illusion that we can all become millionaires and billionaires living that American dream if we&#39;re just taxed less and more hateful. I mean, we did it by starting this podcast, and now we&#39;re millionaires from all the income we&#39;re getting. And and and we&#39;ll probably be Republicans by this time next year. So, like I said, the kids are at summer camp this week. Right. And it was so interesting because for once we weren&#39;t in a hurry. They we didn&#39;t have to drive very far. And so we had like the whole morning on Saturday to kind of hang out before we took off. And all of us were kind of at a loss of what to do because we had a couple hours to kill. And I started not nervously, but I&#39;m like, well, this is a good time to, I don&#39;t know, clean up the kitchen a little bit, do some vacuuming, even though should I be like really bonding with my children right now? Should we be doing something as if this is some, as if this is some, I don&#39;t know, huge rite of passage that they need to have quality time for their last memories with their dads? No, fuck that. They just wanted to be on their devices, right? So I was like, okay, just have your because they obviously do not have them at camp. So I&#39;m just vacuuming and whatnot. And I, but I did start to feel this little sense of like, is this what it&#39;s gonna be like when they go to college? And am I gonna be so almost, well, obviously bereft, but am I not gonna know what to do with my time? So I&#39;m like, I think I&#39;ll just vacuum before I take my kid to college. And and feeling really getting into my head about like, this is uh something, I need to make this momentous, or I need to make use of my time, or I&#39;m just gonna sit down and I don&#39;t know, not know what to do with myself because of this sense of impending doom. And I so basically, you know, that was how I suddenly felt like, uh, my kids are going to college. I mean camp, and I don&#39;t know what to do with myself. It was um, it was an interesting downward spiral of my rabbit hole brain in the moment. Speaking of downward spirals, let&#39;s move to judgment, shall we? Judging how other people parent their children. So this week&#39;s top three list is the three worst behaviors you&#39;ve witnessed in other parents. Number three for me goes back a few years when I was actually talking to somebody, a parent, who said to me, Well, what&#39;s the big difference if my kid does cocaine someday? I mean, I did it and I&#39;m fine. And I thought, holy shit. Now I know that&#39;s gonna sound super cocaine for babies. I mean, I know this is gonna sound all of this is gonna sound super prudish, especially when I look at my list. And hey, you do you and be safe and don&#39;t hurt other people, but I&#39;m not sure that the idea that why can&#39;t my kids do cocaine because I did it and I&#39;m fine is uh really the way we want to raise kids, right? Number two, not being aware of what&#39;s going on on your kids&#39; iPads or iPhones. Now, listen, I my kids are behind closed doors with their devices an awful lot of the time, but I do have some semblance of an idea of what&#39;s going on. And when I hear a group of kids together listening and a bunch of eight-year-olds or nine-year-olds listening to songs about doggy style and um having sex, which is actually something that I witnessed recently. And the parent was sitting there with me and was completely oblivious to any of it going on. And I&#39;m like, Don&#39;t you have how are you filtering out the entire world around you? So having some semblance of understanding what&#39;s going on in your um kids&#39; devices, I think is uh pretty important. And then finally, number one for me, screaming on the sidelines of a soccer game, aside from just general support, but belittling your children from the sidelines is something that I just cannot abide. And I don&#39;t know, I all parents should just be muzzled on the side of the soccer um sidelines. So for me, those are three obnoxious behaviors that I will never take part in. Um, David, are you just dying because this is also sincere and uh serious? No, I&#39;m about to fuck that up. David: 11:14 Um so in number three for me, and this is slightly serious, is when other parents will yell at their kids in front of me for me. Like there&#39;s this like performative way of like get your fucking ass in the car, and they look at me like this douchebag, am I right? And I&#39;m like, yes, your kid is a douche, but also like don&#39;t yell at him extra because you&#39;re performing for me. Yeah, like that&#39;s always super annoying. Um, number two, baby talk. When fucking parents talk baby talk to either their babies or their pets or to anybody, I hate you and I hate. And number three, the three I think the number one worst thing about other parents is when they&#39;re a better parent than I am. SPEAKER_05: 11:58 Fuck those people. David: 12:00 Oh, I&#39;m like, stop being better than me. Uh that&#39;s my number one. Uh next week totally relatable. Next week, we&#39;re gonna keep it clean. Oh next, usually my job. We&#39;re gonna do something easy and fun and has nothing to do with kids. Good. Next week, what are your top three favorite curse words or phrases? Gavin: 12:20 Oh fuck yeah, that&#39;s gonna be good. David: 12:24 All right, so our next guests are two gay dads who recently wrote a book called A Kids Book About Gay Parents, which I&#39;m sure is currently being banned as we speak in Florida. Um, they live in Vermont, they have four adopted children, and they just got into the gay parenting podcast racket too. SPEAKER_00: 12:41 Come on into this pool. David: 12:42 Please welcome Little Corner of the Gay Parenting World, Jonathan and Thomas West. Woohoo! Boy No. Hey guys, good morning. You guys are in the podcasting racket now too, and it&#39;s just a huge drift. SPEAKER_04: 12:55 So, no, when we so when we had our first episode and we introduced ourselves, we&#39;re like, Yeah, we&#39;re jumping into the podcast world. And I was like, what did I say? I was like, we&#39;re jumping into the to the pool. No, I said the pool, yeah, which is literally not, absolutely not. There are almost in some sense in some ways, there are too many podcasts. Of course. So I was like, wait, we&#39;re not jumping into the pool, we&#39;re jumping into the ocean, ocean, and it&#39;s crowded of people. Gavin: 13:22 Coney island, Coney Island on the 4th of July, uh, levels of crowdedness. David: 13:26 But just syringes in your feet, band-aids stuck to you that aren&#39;t yours. Gavin: 13:31 But you guys are the only ones who have your hat, your branded hats of daddy and papa. Do you ever switch hats just to screw around with your audience? SPEAKER_04: 13:38 Well, actually, our second episode, we first, our one of our mics wasn&#39;t turned on. Nice. Which we found out after the fact, and we still we we kind of just went with it. And I didn&#39;t realize that I was wearing a daddy hat, which I&#39;m which is totally fine, but that&#39;s not the name I go by. SPEAKER_06: 13:57 No, right, and he didn&#39;t notice, I didn&#39;t notice. Yeah, we went through the entire thing. I&#39;m like staring at his head the entire podcast, and then I realized we keep looking back at the video, and we&#39;re like, oh, that&#39;s not that&#39;s not. David: 14:07 I mean, you are a daddy, but every other gay parent in the whole world is mad at you for grabbing the Instagram handle at daddy and papa. Are you fucking kidding me? You nailed that. I mean, you got it. That was the one, and now, yeah, you guys are daddyandpapa.com too. SPEAKER_04: 14:25 I mean, it&#39;s like No, and we weren&#39;t the first to jump in as like the gay, queer parents on it&#39;s on Instagram or just...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter covers him in love, Gavin has thoughts on summer camp, and our guests this week Jonathan and Thomas West join us to talk about their new book, how they got into the podcast racket, and what actually goes on in the showers in the military.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on another social media episode. unknown: 0:07 Sorry. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time when you watch our Instagram stories of our podcast. Uh and listen to us on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on social media when you get to watch our outtakes. And we can&#39;t wait to talk at you on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks, and we&#39;ll jump towards you next time on another episode of Thanks. David: 0:29 And maybe next time Gavin will just read the copy and do a recording. Oh shit, Steve. Okay. And this is Gatriarch. So we have a little back deck, and we&#39;re sitting outside, and it&#39;s one of those rare moments with my daughter who&#39;s one and a half, where she&#39;s sitting in my lap. She&#39;s calm. She&#39;s like tracing her fingers on my face. It&#39;s very sweet. She keeps like looking behind me and she&#39;s looking at the birds. And she just takes her finger and she just drags it down my face, right? And she&#39;s like doing this side of my face and like almost like she&#39;s painting. And it&#39;s really sweet. And I just have one of those moments that was like, finally, there&#39;s a moment of peace. There&#39;s a moment of just like she&#39;s not crying. There&#39;s nothing, there&#39;s no chaos happening. She&#39;s just enjoying this thing. And then I&#39;m like, why don&#39;t you keep looking behind me? And I turn around and I look at the railing that I&#39;m sitting next to, and I&#39;m realizing she&#39;s dipping her fingers into bird shit and she&#39;s drawing it down my face in this beautiful moment. Gavin: 1:49 Oh. See, this is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. David: 1:53 This is why you don&#39;t go for gratitude. You know, it&#39;s yeah. Children are disgusting. Disgusting. Anyway, that&#39;s how my week started. Gavin: 2:00 Well, my week started, uh, my kids are at summer camp all week long. And theoretically, that means it&#39;s just been nothing but like sex, drugs, and rock and roll all week long. Let me tell you. Um, it&#39;s really just like I gotta catch, I can finally feel like I&#39;m catching up on, you know, shit. But we started out and we were dropping the kids off, and we said, What do you want for you know your last supper, your last meal? They said McDonald&#39;s, and we were like, that tracks. So we go to McDonald&#39;s, and I was not aware because I we don&#39;t go to McDonald&#39;s that much, that McDonald&#39;s is having a whole promotion about Grimace&#39;s birthday. Okay. Now I know that I&#39;m much older than you are, David. So you with you and your youth, do you even have any idea who Grimace is? David: 2:43 Of course, he&#39;s the big purple monster. Gavin: 2:45 Right, but nobody else knows who the purple monster is, right? They don&#39;t have I don&#39;t think they don&#39;t have Saturday morning cartoons anymore. David: 2:52 The the whole thing will remember the hamburglar, but I think Grimace are a whole bunch of them. Gavin: 2:59 My kids, yeah, and the the Fry Guys and the Hamburglar and whatnot. Well, that&#39;s all from the what? 80s. My kids have absolutely no idea who Grimace is, uh whatsoever. But they just know they see a big purple thing and a milkshake, and it&#39;s Grimace&#39;s birthday, and they&#39;re like, I want that. So we did end up getting Grimace&#39;s birthday uh milkshakes, and they we passed the milk]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s daughter covers him in love, Gavin has thoughts on summer camp, and our guests this week Jonathan and Thomas West join us to talk about their new book, how they got into the podcast racket, and what actually goes on in the showers in the military.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on another social media episode. unknown: 0:07 Sorry. Gavin: 0:08 Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time when you watch our Instagram stories of our podcast. Uh and listen to us on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks. And we&#39;ll see you next time on social media when you get to watch our outtakes. And we can&#39;t wait to talk at you on another episode of Gatriarchs. Thanks, and we&#39;ll]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Adam Swain Ferguson</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-adam-swain-ferguson/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jul 2023 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, a new kid joins David&apos;s life, a coach tries to ruin Gavin&apos;s, we discuss the top 3 things that aren&apos;t a big deal as a parent, and we are joined by the author of &#34;Love Without Wings: A Gay Adoption Fairytale&#34; Adam Swain Ferguson, who, among other things, reveals to us why he hired his Mom to work at a porn store. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah. All right. Love this one. And uh let&#39;s move on. Well, let&#39;s talk about n next episode&#39;s top three list. All right. I want to know thank you. And this is G3 art. So middle of summer. It&#39;s all about the summer camps. Hot as shit. Hot as shit. Everything&#39;s dead because it&#39;s so hot, including my spirit. And uh but speaking of killing things, my kid did a soccer camp this week. Okay. And uh he is a really, really uh passionate soccer player. I mean, he lives and breathes and dies by soccer. And the what the coach actually made the comment to him that you&#39;ll never be a professional soccer player if you dress like that. Because he was wearing a cotton t-shirt and not a like an under, you know, like a uh an athletic wicking t-shirt. And I said to him, wait, to my kid. I said to my kid, that&#39;s not cool. Do you want me to say something to him? And he&#39;s like already rolling his eyes at me. No, dad, I got this. But I wanted to be like, are you fucking kidding me? You&#39;re leading a soccer camp and you are dashing my kid&#39;s hopes for being a soccer professional soccer player. Now, I have no illusions of him actually growing up to be one, but I wanted- Yeah, but you don&#39;t want him to think it&#39;s because he wore a fucking cotton. David: 1:41 What is this, the Bible? You can&#39;t mix it up. Exactly. Yeah. Gavin: 1:44 And I just thought, how dare you go around and uh theoretically be there to lift kids up and then break them down? What kind of thing? Our job as parents is to break their spirits, not your job. Also, like acting teachers and dance teachers are supposed to break spirits. Sports guys are supposed to be totally delusional that everybody can be a professional, right? Sports Do you hear it? David: 2:07 Did everyone out there hear how you just called a game and you said sports guys? You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome. What do you need to bitch and moan about today? I this is not a bitch and moan, but this is like one of those weird like realizations of time passing. Because we talked, I think, last month about um, you know, that beautiful TikTok I saw and some other things about how you have, you know, a preschooler and you have a toddler and you have an infant and you have a whatever, and they&#39;re all different people, and you never know when they switch from one to the other because time is weird and you just kind of all of a sudden realize one of those TikToks that showed you like a human being, actually, and you might have cried a little bit. Yeah, exactly, which is very unlike me. But um, I had one of those moments where I had this moment of I watch time change in front of me, and like my heart fucking leaped out of my chest. So my daughter is one and a half, and she is in the baby room at her daycare. And when we, my husband and I will go pick up the kids, and there are different rooms on different floors. So I&#39;ll go and pick her up, and I walk into the baby room and I grab her, I pick her up and grab her bag, and then I walk, we walk up to where uh my son is, um, and I hold her. Like I&#39;ve she used to be in the carrier, and then I started holding her, and that was a little bit of a time passage. Um, but that&#39;s kind of how we do it. Well, she the other day forced me. She said, No, I want to like she wanted me to put her down, and I put her down, and she just wanted to walk out the door. And from now on, she wants to walk out the door. She doesn&#39;t want me to carry her from the from the classroom to the car. She wants to get down and walk. So now the other day, this first time, she put down and then she just started walking in front of me. And I just this vision of this little girl walking down the hallway in front of me was the new kid that joined my life. And it was so fucking wild. And I just had this moment. I thought about you, Gabin. I thought about the show. I thought about everything. And I went, This is that moment. This is that moment in time where my little baby became a toddler, and the baby is gone forever. And I doesn&#39;t mean I can&#39;t still can&#39;t hold her, or she&#39;s it only a day older, but it was a that click of time, and ooh, that one that one made me actually feel real feelings, which I, you know, as you know, I don&#39;t like. Are cold and dead. I&#39;m cold and dead on the inside, and I&#39;m proud of it. Gavin: 4:22 So speaking of cold and dead, or maybe just dead, but hot. Um, it is the middle of summer, and I uh summertime is such a childlike, uh magnificent time of just fr uh freedom and frenzy and friends and hanging and everything. And efforts are efforts. But you know what? I fucking hate summer. Yeah. I don&#39;t like the sun. I don&#39;t like the sun, first of all. I don&#39;t like being hot, but also the chaos. The the the our our previous guest, um uh MX Domestic, gave us the term chaos, right? The chaos in our house is just off the charts because nobody&#39;s really taking responsibility for anything. All I&#39;m doing is helicoptering my kids all the time. They&#39;re driving me crazy. I&#39;m driving them crazy. The the laundry isn&#39;t really done, or it&#39;s always in a half state. My older child now thinks that she gets to stay up till 11 o&#39;clock, and she is, what is she doing? She is digging into my my partners and my daddy TV time because she&#39;s just ruining everything by being there all the time. I mean, summer. You fuck up my last season of Ted Lasso, I&#39;ll kill you for what you gotta tell her. I I mean, I I do need to start saying I will cut a bitch if you don&#39;t fucking go to sleep and just like, I&#39;m not ready to go to bed, so go read a book. I don&#39;t care, just go lay in bed. This is my time. David: 5:47 Leave me alone, I want to watch Black Mirror and And I need the daycare of school, taking my kids away so that I&#39;m just my biggest fear with young kids is that I&#39;m so used to nine to five Monday through Friday, these kids exist in another building with other adults taking care of them, of course, at a price. But when I I I see all the parents around me, you included, during summertime, panicking because their kids are just they they go from being in school all day to just being home. And these camps aren&#39;t all day, every day. Gavin: 6:17 Nope. And they&#39;re always different, and they&#39;re out earlier than school is basically. I mean, I do have a friend who has sent her daughter away to like eight weeks of camp. And I&#39;m like, wow, that is that&#39;s a little extreme, isn&#39;t it? But then you&#39;re like, well, I mean, maybe she&#39;s making the right decision, right? Yeah. I mean, come on, eight weeks away, the kid is happier, the parent is happier. Oh, you miss each other for the first four hours, but then you&#39;re over it pretty quickly. I mean, summer chaos is just it is a lot, it is managing so much, the schedule is constantly changing. I want to say that I&#39;m in it and loving it and trying to be in the moment, but honestly, it&#39;s just a pain in the ass. David: 6:54 I teach at a kind of theater camp here in the city, and it&#39;s like for acting, it&#39;s like a musical theater intensive. But people send their kids here, and most kids don&#39;t live in New York City, so they&#39;re all living in New York City for these four weeks. Living their best lives. I know, I mean, like crazy, but they&#39;re going to see Broadway shows at night, like it&#39;s a big deal. But think about that. Not only are you with your kid all the time, but you&#39;re with your kid in a hotel room in another state. Gavin: 7:24 Oh god, no. Yeah. And no, that sounds that&#39;s not vacation. I mean, none of this is vacation for the parents at all. It&#39;s just like extra work. David: 7:33 Well, anyway, let&#39;s uh that that those are things that are very hard as a parent, but let&#39;s move into our top three lists this week, which is the top three things that you thought would be a big deal when you were became a parent, but just are not. Yeah. So um, this is my list, so I will go first this week. Um, so in number three, uh, something I thought would be a big deal was being told I hate you by my kid. Uh my kid has said, maybe not those words, but said, like, you&#39;re not my best friend and I don&#39;t like you and go away and all the things. And before I was a parent, I was like, that&#39;s gonna break me. I&#39;m gonna be so sad. When my kid says, like, you&#39;re not my best friend anymore, literally, my husband and I will go, Well, you&#39;re not my best friend, go away, go put the dishes in the sink. Um uh number two, something I thought would be a big deal, meltdowns in public. I I thought that that would be so embarrassing or I would stress out about it. When my kid&#39;s having a meltdown in public, I just stare at them like a science experiment. I&#39;m like, Yep, nice, you want to have this? It doesn&#39;t stress me out like I thought it would. Uh, and number one, the thing I literally thought would be the biggest deal in the world, and is I don&#39;t even think about once, diapers. Uh-huh. Diapers, even though you gotta do 10 of them a day and they&#39;re disgusting and they&#39;re shit and there&#39;s piss and there&#39;s all kinds of things. I just, they were never a big deal. So uh that&#39;s my number one. What&#39;s your I love that? Gavin: 8:49 So, number three for me is healing your kid when they&#39;re sick. I was terrified of fevers, of throwing up, of my kid being sick and me not knowing what was going on and being confused and not knowing what to do, earaches, ear infections, toothaches. I&#39;ve dealt with it all, and you just kind of like you just you get into problem solving mode. It isn&#39;t actually that big a deal. Number two, managing all the shit. I thought I&#39;d be like, oh, I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m doing. I&#39;m not meant to do this. Actually, you just screw your head on and you just fucking do it. And we&#39;re all capable of doing it. That&#39;s gonna be. David: 9:24 I mean, the thing you were just complaining about for 10 minutes before we started the top three list. You talking about that part, that&#39;s easy. Yes. Gavin: 9:29 Yes, but I I am managing it, but I don&#39;t like it. But I can do it. And then finally, number one, being a sports dad. When my kids were born, I thought, oh dear lord, don&#39;t let them be athletes, right? And now, I mean, I like it a lot, and I love watching my kids&#39; passion on the field, and I like standing and shooting the shit with the other parents on the sideline. I thought it would be a big deal, but actually, it&#39;s not. David: 9:57 So I totally understand that because I my son is in a soccer class right now, and by soccer class, I mean they&#39;re all like three and a half year olds, so they just run around screaming, kicking balls, and they the the the poor coaches are trying to like as a mass of kids just all running around the ball as a like a as a big, I don&#39;t know, a cell moving around a ball. Gavin: 10:17 It&#39;s ridiculous. David: 10:18 And they do like games like you know, pick up the cones with your feet. They did it&#39;s it&#39;s a silly class. It&#39;s not like they&#39;re playing games or they&#39;re learning how to actually play, but it&#39;s fun. But I found myself the same way where I was like kind of dreading sports in general because I assumed all my kids would be straight. I don&#39;t have to do this, and I just never like sports. But I tell you what, I became a sports dad. I became a soccer dad so fast. And when my son was like not paying attention or doing cartwheels like I did as in T-Ball, um, I get I&#39;m like, get your head in the game. Come on, be aggressive. I became T-ball dad immediately, and I&#39;m you know what? I&#39;m totally here for it. Gavin: 10:53 All right, so how about next week&#39;s top three list? I want to know the three worst behaviors that you have witnessed in other parents. Oh. Now I know that we&#39;re nothing but hypocrites, and so that often can morph into, and then I ended up doing myself, doing it myself. No, no, no. I want to hear about the three worst things that you&#39;ve witnessed in other people, and you&#39;re like, I will literally never do that. For sure, because I love judging other people. David: 11:20 Yes. It&#39;s literally my professional career. Gavin: 11:22 I I uh I if we could only be paid for judging others, I would be I&#39;d be a millionaire, quite possibly a billionaire. David: 11:31 So our next guest is the author of Love Without Wings, a gay adoption fairy tale. Uh like me, he grew up in the South and somehow made it out alive. So please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Adam Swain Ferguson. Hey, welcome, Adam. SPEAKER_03: 11:48 Hi, and I&#39;d like to say barely made it out alive. David: 11:52 You have some residual uh uh North Carolinian-ness. SPEAKER_03: 11:56 Uh yeah, still trying to watch it off me. David: 11:59 Why don&#39;t you tell us a little bit about your your your book? So I I found you because you posted in one of the kind of gay groups on Facebook about this book that you had written, uh, which kind of started this whole process. So tell us a little bit about your book. SPEAKER_03: 12:11 Uh well, it&#39;s it&#39;s an adoption fairy tale. You know, when my uh son was born, he he he&#39;s obviously he&#39;s adopted, and I always wanted him to just kind of have that narrative of who he is, maintain his identity, never question, you know, where he comes from. Um, because I&#39;ve had friends and family who have been adopted, and there&#39;s there&#39;s a little bit of trauma there. Um and you know, as his parent, you know, the best thing I can do is try to mitigate that from day one. And so I just started telling him this fairy tale that I was making up night by night about his own adoption story, because one of the things that I felt was missing in adoption books that I was finding was that narrative. Um and so I just put this together and uh eventually when I recorded myself telling it to him and decided to write it down and get it illustrated. I connected with an illustrator here in Santa Clarita, which the here&#39;s kind of one of the most amazing things about it, though, is to me this book is a little bit of a bridge in a very personal way. So my illustrator, her and I become very, very good friends after starting off as just kind of like a casual business relationship, but she&#39;s actually very much more on the conservative side. And so she illustrated this book, and you know, it opened her heart. And uh well, she&#39;s got a very open heart anyway. I can&#39;t I can&#39;t say that, but she just she showed it so much love, and I was really baffled seeing that from it from another side. And one of the things that&#39;s great when we kind of get together is even though I&#39;m you know fiercely liberal and she&#39;s definitely more on the conservative side, is we can just like still come together and have this love for a pro that we poured our hearts to this project. So that that&#39;s kind of cool. David: 13:46 But uh yeah, yeah, I&#39;m so pessimistic about that shit that like I&#39;m so I&#39;m so glad...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, a new kid joins David&apos;s life, a coach tries to ruin Gavin&apos;s, we discuss the top 3 things that aren&apos;t a big deal as a parent, and we are joined by the author of &#34;Love Without Wings: A Gay Adoption Fairytale&#34; Adam Swain Fe]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, a new kid joins David&apos;s life, a coach tries to ruin Gavin&apos;s, we discuss the top 3 things that aren&apos;t a big deal as a parent, and we are joined by the author of &#34;Love Without Wings: A Gay Adoption Fairytale&#34; Adam Swain Ferguson, who, among other things, reveals to us why he hired his Mom to work at a porn store. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah. All right. Love this one. And uh let&#39;s move on. Well, let&#39;s talk about n next episode&#39;s top three list. All right. I want to know thank you. And this is G3 art. So middle of summer. It&#39;s all about the summer camps. Hot as shit. Hot as shit. Everything&#39;s dead because it&#39;s so hot, including my spirit. And uh but speaking of killing things, my kid did a soccer camp this week. Okay. And uh he is a really, really uh passionate soccer player. I mean, he lives and breathes and dies by soccer. And the what the coach actually made the comment to him that you&#39;ll never be a professional soccer player if you dress like that. Because he was wearing a cotton t-shirt and not a like an under, you know, like a uh an athletic wicking t-shirt. And I said to him, wait, to my kid. I said to my kid, that&#39;s not cool. Do you want me to say something to him? And he&#39;s like already rolling his eyes at me. No, dad, I got this. But I wanted to be like, are you fucking kidding me? You&#39;re leading a soccer camp and you are dashing my kid&#39;s hopes for being a soccer professional soccer player. Now, I have no illusions of him actually growing up to be one, but I wanted- Yeah, but you don&#39;t want him to think it&#39;s because he wore a fucking cotton. David: 1:41 What is this, the Bible? You can&#39;t mix it up. Exactly. Yeah. Gavin: 1:44 And I just thought, how dare you go around and uh theoretically be there to lift kids up and then break them down? What kind of thing? Our job as parents is to break their spirits, not your job. Also, like acting teachers and dance teachers are supposed to break spirits. Sports guys are supposed to be totally delusional that everybody can be a professional, right? Sports Do you hear it? David: 2:07 Did everyone out there hear how you just called a game and you said sports guys? You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome. What do you need to bitch and moan about today? I this is not a bitch and moan, but this is like one of those weird like realizations of time passing. Because we talked, I think, last month about um, you know, that beautiful TikTok I saw and some other things about how you have, you know, a preschooler and you have a toddler and you have an infant and you have a whatever, and they&#39;re all different people, and you never know when they switch from one to the other because time is weird and you just kind of all of a sudden realize one of those TikToks that showed you like a human being, actually, and you might have cried a little bit. Yeah, exactly, which is very unlike me. But um, I had one of those moments where I had this moment of I watch time change in front of me, and like my heart fucking leaped out of my chest. So my daughter is one and a half, and she is in the baby room at her daycare. And when we, my husband and I will go pick up the kids, and there are different rooms on different floors. So I&#39;ll go and pick her up, and I walk into the baby room and I grab her, I pick her up and grab her bag, and then I walk, we walk up to where uh my son is, um, and I hold her. Like I&#39;ve she used to be in the carrier, and then I started holding her, and that was a little bit of a time passage. Um, but that&#39;s kind of how we do it. Well, she the other day forced me. She said, No, I want to like she wanted me to put her down, and I put her down, and she just wanted to walk out the door. And from now on, she wants to walk out the door. She doesn&#39;t want me to carry her from the from the classroom to the car. She wants to get down and walk. So now the other day, this first time, she put down and then she just started walking in front of me. And I just this vision of this little girl walking down the hallway in front of me was the new kid that joined my life. And it was so fucking wild. And I just had this moment. I thought about you, Gabin. I thought about the show. I thought about everything. And I went, This is that moment. This is that moment in time where my little baby became a toddler, and the baby is gone forever. And I doesn&#39;t mean I can&#39;t still can&#39;t hold her, or she&#39;s it only a day older, but it was a that click of time, and ooh, that one that one made me actually feel real feelings, which I, you know, as you know, I don&#39;t like. Are cold and dead. I&#39;m cold and dead on the inside, and I&#39;m proud of it. Gavin: 4:22 So speaking of cold and dead, or maybe just dead, but hot. Um, it is the middle of summer, and I uh summertime is such a childlike, uh magnificent time of just fr uh freedom and frenzy and friends and hanging and everything. And efforts are efforts. But you know what? I fucking hate summer. Yeah. I don&#39;t like the sun. I don&#39;t like the sun, first of all. I don&#39;t like being hot, but also the chaos. The the the our our previous guest, um uh MX Domestic, gave us the term chaos, right? The chaos in our house is just off the charts because nobody&#39;s really taking responsibility for anything. All I&#39;m doing is helicoptering my kids all the time. They&#39;re driving me crazy. I&#39;m driving them crazy. The the laundry isn&#39;t really done, or it&#39;s always in a half state. My older child now thinks that she gets to stay up till 11 o&#39;clock, and she is, what is she doing? She is digging into my my partners and my daddy TV time because she&#39;s just ruining everything by being there all the time. I mean, summer. You fuck up my last season of Ted Lasso, I&#39;ll kill you for what you gotta tell her. I I mean, I I do need to start saying I will cut a bitch if you don&#39;t fucking go to sleep and just like, I&#39;m not ready to go to bed, so go read a book. I don&#39;t care, just go lay in bed. This is my time. David: 5:47 Leave me alone, I want to watch Black Mirror and And I need the daycare of school, taking my kids away so that I&#39;m just my biggest fear with young kids is that I&#39;m so used to nine to five Monday through Friday, these kids exist in another building with other adults taking care of them, of course, at a price. But when I I I see all the parents around me, you included, during summertime, panicking because their kids are just they they go from being in school all day to just being home. And these camps aren&#39;t all day, every day. Gavin: 6:17 Nope. And they&#39;re always different, and they&#39;re out earlier than school is basically. I mean, I do have a friend who has sent her daughter away to like eight weeks of camp. And I&#39;m like, wow, that is that&#39;s a little extreme, isn&#39;t it? But then you&#39;re like, well, I mean, maybe she&#39;s making the right decision, right? Yeah. I mean, come on, eight weeks away, the kid is happier, the parent is happier. Oh, you miss each other for the first four hours, but then you&#39;re over it pretty quickly. I mean, summer chaos is just it is a lot, it is managing so much, the schedule is constantly changing. I want to say that I&#39;m in it and loving it and trying to be in the moment, but honestly, it&#39;s just a pain in the ass. David: 6:54 I teach at a kind of theater camp here in the city, and it&#39;s like for acting, it&#39;s like a musical theater intensive. But people send their kids here, and most kids don&#39;t live in New York City, so they&#39;re all living in New York City for these four weeks. Living their best lives. I know, I mean, like crazy, but they&#39;re going to see Broadway shows at night, like it&#39;s a big deal. But think about that. Not only are you with your kid all the time, but you&#39;re with your kid in a hotel room in another state. Gavin: 7:24 Oh god, no. Yeah. And no, that sounds that&#39;s not vacation. I mean, none of this is vacation for the parents at all. It&#39;s just like extra work. David: 7:33 Well, anyway, let&#39;s uh that that those are things that are very hard as a parent, but let&#39;s move into our top three lists this week, which is the top three things that you thought would be a big deal when you were became a parent, but just are not. Yeah. So um, this is my list, so I will go first this week. Um, so in number three, uh, something I thought would be a big deal was being told I hate you by my kid. Uh my kid has said, maybe not those words, but said, like, you&#39;re not my best friend and I don&#39;t like you and go away and all the things. And before I was a parent, I was like, that&#39;s gonna break me. I&#39;m gonna be so sad. When my kid says, like, you&#39;re not my best friend anymore, literally, my husband and I will go, Well, you&#39;re not my best friend, go away, go put the dishes in the sink. Um uh number two, something I thought would be a big deal, meltdowns in public. I I thought that that would be so embarrassing or I would stress out about it. When my kid&#39;s having a meltdown in public, I just stare at them like a science experiment. I&#39;m like, Yep, nice, you want to have this? It doesn&#39;t stress me out like I thought it would. Uh, and number one, the thing I literally thought would be the biggest deal in the world, and is I don&#39;t even think about once, diapers. Uh-huh. Diapers, even though you gotta do 10 of them a day and they&#39;re disgusting and they&#39;re shit and there&#39;s piss and there&#39;s all kinds of things. I just, they were never a big deal. So uh that&#39;s my number one. What&#39;s your I love that? Gavin: 8:49 So, number three for me is healing your kid when they&#39;re sick. I was terrified of fevers, of throwing up, of my kid being sick and me not knowing what was going on and being confused and not knowing what to do, earaches, ear infections, toothaches. I&#39;ve dealt with it all, and you just kind of like you just you get into problem solving mode. It isn&#39;t actually that big a deal. Number two, managing all the shit. I thought I&#39;d be like, oh, I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m doing. I&#39;m not meant to do this. Actually, you just screw your head on and you just fucking do it. And we&#39;re all capable of doing it. That&#39;s gonna be. David: 9:24 I mean, the thing you were just complaining about for 10 minutes before we started the top three list. You talking about that part, that&#39;s easy. Yes. Gavin: 9:29 Yes, but I I am managing it, but I don&#39;t like it. But I can do it. And then finally, number one, being a sports dad. When my kids were born, I thought, oh dear lord, don&#39;t let them be athletes, right? And now, I mean, I like it a lot, and I love watching my kids&#39; passion on the field, and I like standing and shooting the shit with the other parents on the sideline. I thought it would be a big deal, but actually, it&#39;s not. David: 9:57 So I totally understand that because I my son is in a soccer class right now, and by soccer class, I mean they&#39;re all like three and a half year olds, so they just run around screaming, kicking balls, and they the the the poor coaches are trying to like as a mass of kids just all running around the ball as a like a as a big, I don&#39;t know, a cell moving around a ball. Gavin: 10:17 It&#39;s ridiculous. David: 10:18 And they do like games like you know, pick up the cones with your feet. They did it&#39;s it&#39;s a silly class. It&#39;s not like they&#39;re playing games or they&#39;re learning how to actually play, but it&#39;s fun. But I found myself the same way where I was like kind of dreading sports in general because I assumed all my kids would be straight. I don&#39;t have to do this, and I just never like sports. But I tell you what, I became a sports dad. I became a soccer dad so fast. And when my son was like not paying attention or doing cartwheels like I did as in T-Ball, um, I get I&#39;m like, get your head in the game. Come on, be aggressive. I became T-ball dad immediately, and I&#39;m you know what? I&#39;m totally here for it. Gavin: 10:53 All right, so how about next week&#39;s top three list? I want to know the three worst behaviors that you have witnessed in other parents. Oh. Now I know that we&#39;re nothing but hypocrites, and so that often can morph into, and then I ended up doing myself, doing it myself. No, no, no. I want to hear about the three worst things that you&#39;ve witnessed in other people, and you&#39;re like, I will literally never do that. For sure, because I love judging other people. David: 11:20 Yes. It&#39;s literally my professional career. Gavin: 11:22 I I uh I if we could only be paid for judging others, I would be I&#39;d be a millionaire, quite possibly a billionaire. David: 11:31 So our next guest is the author of Love Without Wings, a gay adoption fairy tale. Uh like me, he grew up in the South and somehow made it out alive. So please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Adam Swain Ferguson. Hey, welcome, Adam. SPEAKER_03: 11:48 Hi, and I&#39;d like to say barely made it out alive. David: 11:52 You have some residual uh uh North Carolinian-ness. SPEAKER_03: 11:56 Uh yeah, still trying to watch it off me. David: 11:59 Why don&#39;t you tell us a little bit about your your your book? So I I found you because you posted in one of the kind of gay groups on Facebook about this book that you had written, uh, which kind of started this whole process. So tell us a little bit about your book. SPEAKER_03: 12:11 Uh well, it&#39;s it&#39;s an adoption fairy tale. You know, when my uh son was born, he he he&#39;s obviously he&#39;s adopted, and I always wanted him to just kind of have that narrative of who he is, maintain his identity, never question, you know, where he comes from. Um, because I&#39;ve had friends and family who have been adopted, and there&#39;s there&#39;s a little bit of trauma there. Um and you know, as his parent, you know, the best thing I can do is try to mitigate that from day one. And so I just started telling him this fairy tale that I was making up night by night about his own adoption story, because one of the things that I felt was missing in adoption books that I was finding was that narrative. Um and so I just put this together and uh eventually when I recorded myself telling it to him and decided to write it down and get it illustrated. I connected with an illustrator here in Santa Clarita, which the here&#39;s kind of one of the most amazing things about it, though, is to me this book is a little bit of a bridge in a very personal way. So my illustrator, her and I become very, very good friends after starting off as just kind of like a casual business relationship, but she&#39;s actually very much more on the conservative side. And so she illustrated this book, and you know, it opened her heart. And uh well, she&#39;s got a very open heart anyway. I can&#39;t I can&#39;t say that, but she just she showed it so much love, and I was really baffled seeing that from it from another side. And one of the things that&#39;s great when we kind of get together is even though I&#39;m you know fiercely liberal and she&#39;s definitely more on the conservative side, is we can just like still come together and have this love for a pro that we poured our hearts to this project. So that that&#39;s kind of cool. David: 13:46 But uh yeah, yeah, I&#39;m so pessimistic about that shit that like I&#39;m so I&#39;m so glad...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, a new kid joins David&apos;s life, a coach tries to ruin Gavin&apos;s, we discuss the top 3 things that aren&apos;t a big deal as a parent, and we are joined by the author of &#34;Love Without Wings: A Gay Adoption Fairytale&#34; Adam Swain Ferguson, who, among other things, reveals to us why he hired his Mom to work at a porn store. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah. All right. Love this one. And uh let&#39;s move on. Well, let&#39;s talk about n next episode&#39;s top three list. All right. I want to know thank you. And this is G3 art. So middle of summer. It&#39;s all about the summer camps. Hot as shit. Hot as shit. Everything&#39;s dead because it&#39;s so hot, including my spirit. And uh but speaking of killing things, my kid did a soccer camp this week. Okay. And uh he is a really, really uh passionate soccer player. I mean, he lives and breathes and dies by soccer. And the what the coach actually made the comment to him that you&#39;ll never be a professional soccer player if you dress like that. Because he was wearing a cotton t-shirt and not a like an under, you know, like a uh an athletic wicking t-shirt. And I said to him, wait, to my kid. I said to my kid, that&#39;s not cool. Do you want me to say something to him? And he&#39;s like already rolling his eyes at me. No, dad, I got this. But I wanted to be like, are you fucking kidding me? You&#39;re leading a soccer camp and you are dashing my kid&#39;s hopes for being a soccer professional soccer player. Now, I have no illusions of him actually growing up to be one, but I wanted- Yeah, but you don&#39;t want him to think it&#39;s because he wore a fucking cotton. David: 1:41 What is this, the Bible? You can&#39;t mix it up. Exactly. Yeah. Gavin: 1:44 And I just thought, how dare you go around and uh theoretically be there to lift kids up and then break them down? What kind of thing? Our job as parents is to break their spirits, not your job. Also, like acting teachers and dance teachers are supposed to break spirits. Sports guys are supposed to be totally delusional that everybody can be a professional, right? Sports Do you hear it? David: 2:07 Did everyone out there hear how you just called a game and you said sports guys? You&#39;re welcome. You&#39;re welcome. What do you need to bitch and moan about today? I this is not a bitch and moan, but this is like one of those weird like realizations of time passing. Because we talked, I think, last month about um, you know, that beautiful TikTok I saw and some other things about how you have, you know, a preschooler and you have a toddler and you have an infant and you have a whatever, and they&#39;re all different people, and you never know when they switch from one to the other because time is weird and you just kind of all of a sudden realize one of those TikToks that showed you like a human being, actually, and you might have cried a little bit. Yeah, exactly, which is very unlike me. But um, I had one of those moments where I had this moment of I watch time change in front of me, and like my heart fucking leaped out of my chest. So my daughter is one and a half, and she is in the baby room at her daycare. And when we, my husband and I will go pick up the kids, and there are different rooms on different floors. So I&#39;ll go and pick her up, and I walk into the baby room and I grab her, I pick her up and grab her bag, and then I walk, we walk up to where uh my son is, um, and I hold her. Like I&#39;ve she used to be in the carrier, and then I started holding her, and that was a little bit of a time passage. Um, but that&#39;s kind of how we do it. Well, she the other day forced me. She said, No, I want to like she wanted me to put her down, and I ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, a new kid joins David&apos;s life, a coach tries to ruin Gavin&apos;s, we discuss the top 3 things that aren&apos;t a big deal as a parent, and we are joined by the author of &#34;Love Without Wings: A Gay Adoption Fairytale&#34; Adam Swain Ferguson, who, among other things, reveals to us why he hired his Mom to work at a porn store. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah. All right. Love this one. And uh let&#39;s move on. Well, let&#39;s talk about n next episode&#39;s top three list. All right. I want to know thank you. And this is G3 art. So middle of summer. It&#39;s all about the summer camps. Hot as shit. Hot as shit. Everything&#39;s dead because it&#39;s so hot, including my spirit. And uh but speaking of killing t]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Mx. Domestic</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-mx-domestic/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Jul 2023 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there? Or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer? I suppose. I don&#39;t know. But I&#39;m cutting all of that. David: 0:11 Yeah, okay. None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and it erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, how did you do it? What part what part of her was on fire? I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 1:31 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main one. David: 1:48 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 1:49 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. No asking about your future. David: 1:58 That was my week. Gavin: 1:59 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their identifying um uh elements. But I&#39;m like, listen, just stop being an asshole, like your sibling, you know? And I&#39;m able to go back and forth with both of those things. But the idea of being able to compare, sometimes I do want to be like, you know, if you just did it a little more like a sibling, it everything would be easier. David: 2:41 That&#39;s why you should always have a second kid. It&#39;s a backup kid. Because if one kid breaks, the other one&#39;s already. And I honestly, sometimes I feel like when one kid&#39;s being an asshole, the other one usually isn&#39;t. So I&#39;m like, yeah, okay, fine. I&#39;m just gonna leave you in here crying. I&#39;m gonna go hang out with a good one. Gavin: 2:55 Yep. Absolutely. And we the uh bringing that brutal honesty is gonna make everybody stronger in the end. So or an artist. With damage, I mean, how can you be a good artist without being a little bit damaged, right? David: 3:08 So one of the things that I wasn&#39;t prepared for when I became a parent was how every single relationship in my life changed. Um and and I would say on the majority, most changed for the better, whatever that meant. Um, but every relationship to the relationship I had with my mail carrier, to my mom, to my kids, to my friends, to like literally everyone in my life. Like I was not expecting mail carrier to come out first there. Her name is her name is Miss Penny, and she&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 3:39 M-A-I-L-O-O-L. David: 3:41 No, not M A L E, but that&#39;s that&#39;s clever. Um, so I just thought, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s something interesting that we could talk about because I don&#39;t think I was ready for that. Um, and the only thing I thought I was ready for was like, oh yeah, maybe people without kids would not want to hang out with me as much. Was that your long guy just driving by? The hot one or the old one? The old one? You&#39;re you&#39;re muted right now. Yeah. There you go. Gavin: 4:08 Sorry. Um, yeah, I didn&#39;t hit mute fast enough as he zipped by. It was not the hot one. I mean, and I&#39;m all about old hotties too, but this guy is. No, it&#39;s not so uh regardless of his age. So, so did did relationships change in your life when you became a parent? It&#39;s a fact of life that it&#39;s hard for all of us to sometimes rectify that relationships do change all the time, but they go in hyper speed uh when you have parents, uh when you have children. And I mean it reminds me of being in middle school and being disenchanted with the kids in my freshman year or in uh high school, my freshman year, my friend group changed by my sophomore year, and I think I just wanted to be like it was. And then when you have kids and you&#39;re like, wait a minute, I just want it to be like it was, but you&#39;re the the all of the change, all of the relationships change so quickly. And um, and we do admittedly, it&#39;s fun to just commiserate and complain about your kids and compare and whatnot, but it is exasperating and as we know exhausting for people who don&#39;t have kids and also people who have the wherewithal to be like, can we stop talking about our kids? But it&#39;s also fun to talk about kids, too. I mean, that&#39;s why we&#39;re here because we have fun doing it. But what exactly something&#39;s sticking in your craw, I have a feeling right now, about no, it&#39;s a friendship change. David: 5:17 I wouldn&#39;t say it was sticking in my craw. It just it I was surprised. Like, so one of the examples is like prior to my having my first kid when we were telling everybody, oh, we&#39;re like pregnant, the reactions I got, right? Some people were like, Oh, that&#39;s so cool. I had one of my closest friends in the world um say to me, Oh first words out of his mouth, oh no, we&#39;re not gonna get to hang out anymore. And I get that&#39;s so sex in this. Yeah, but I get the idea, right? It&#39;s like I know you&#39;re gonna be busier, so it like our friendship will change or whatever. But it was, it was a it was a little bit of like a shock. Um, and then of of course, like the the opposite, right? People were like super excited or whatever. Um, so one of the things is like with your own family members and your like your parents, uh your siblings or whatever, I found that on the whole, um, the relationships deepened, they got better. Uh, I don&#39;t know if you felt that way, but like with like my relationship with my mom and my my aunts and my uncles and everything, it just it deepened those relationships. Gavin: 6:12 That&#39;s interesting that you&#39;re the one who&#39;s all like profound and sincere here because my thought is actually it&#39;s interesting how my uh I feel like I have more friendships that are transitory and change based upon the circumstances. Like I have a lot of elementary school, but elementary my kids&#39; elementary school friends&#39; parents from New York, and I don&#39;t live in the city anymore, and an awful lot of those people have dropped off the planet. And it&#39;s not because we don&#39;t like each other anymore, it&#39;s just out of side out of mind. Or I have my soccer friends, I mean for my kids, my soccer friends, and then I have the lacrosse friends, and then I have the just academic friends, and some somewhere um I love the parents, but our kids don&#39;t necessarily get along that well, and I&#39;m like, tough, we&#39;re gonna all gonna hang out because I like the parents, and uh, this is about me. It&#39;s not about you either. But it is transitory where you kind of have to make peace with sometimes you have the playground friends and then and then not necessarily friends, and it makes you examine like, well, is this a real friendship or is it not if it&#39;s so transitory? And yet it&#39;s a real friendship, it&#39;s just a kind of different kind of real friendship, I think. David: 7:12 So, yes, I think part of that is due to the fact that we&#39;ve grew up in the arts, right, as actors, and so our lives have been very transitory, right? Because you know, we go to a regional gig and then we do a national tour, and then we do a Broadway show, and then we go to Europe and whatever. And so your your best friends, your family members are the people around you. Um they&#39;re intense and totally. So I just thought, yeah, I don&#39;t know why. I just thought like my family family, like my my mom, dad, and siblings and stuff, it deepened the relationship there because it was fun to watch them as a aunt, uncle, grandma, whatever. Um, and then I found the only really negative is I I felt like a lot of my friendships that that I wished had continued or adjusted to my new life, really, because my life is the one that changed, didn&#39;t. And and they they were just that connect because parenting had become such a big part of my life, that that our friendship suffered for that. And I think that&#39;s normal. It did, it, it, it saddened me because part of me wanted to like reach out and be like, no, no, no, no. Uh we still have the same relationship. I my time is just a little different. Let&#39;s just schedule it. We just have to schedule, right? And like, which is you know, very like, you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m busy, I&#39;m busy. But that is the the one downside was that like I had friends who just that was they they were just like, yeah, he&#39;s busy now, and they just kind of figured away. Yeah, but I think that&#39;s the natural part of becoming parents, is that like relationships ebb and flow and and whatever. But um, yeah, but then then there&#39;s the last thing I want to talk about, which is fucking hilarious to me, which is when you become a parent, you are forced into these bite-sized relationships with other parent people. That&#39;s either at the daycare or at the birthday party or at the park or whatever. And at the worst, it&#39;s like you&#39;re forced to stand awkwardly next to this other dad at a barbecue and make conversation about things. So much small talk. How do people do it if they don&#39;t drink? Gavin: 8:55 Also, I feel like if if you bring them and which is terrible also because I feel fortunate that I don&#39;t think I&#39;m an alcoholic, but there are, I mean, the idea that we have to drink everywhere to be able to have any kind of social lubricant is kind of too bad. But I I can&#39;t imagine going to I I I hate birthday party kids&#39; preschool birthday parties if there&#39;s not booze. Come on, because this is just torture for everybody. David: 9:18 But I will say, surprisingly, two we have we have kind of befriended two parents of kids in my kids&#39; social circle that have become really fucking cool. Like I was like, I we said this the other day, which I think is a really high mark. I would be friends with you even if we didn&#39;t have kids that were friends with each other. And so like we&#39;re already planning like a night out where we all go hang out and go to a bar and get babysitters. Let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Yeah. Gavin: 9:44 So this is your I know it&#39;s a little nebulous, but I want to know what the three things that are hotter than summer. So let me go first. Number three, Aperil spritzes. For me, an Aperol spritz, you know what an Aperol spritz is, right? I do. It&#39;s a drink, it&#39;s an Italian drink, and it is like two parts prosecco, or just cheap champagne, a little bit of seltzer on top, and a spritz of Alt Aperol. Uh like the the liqueur kind of like Kampari. Super bitter. But it is a quintessential Italian drink, and for me, it is a Vespa and uh short shorts and uh thick 1960s eye makeup and big old high heels, and it&#39;s just like sex in a drink. I just want to hop on a Vespa and ride around in the summertime in the Italian hills. So for me, I&#39;m telling you, an Aperole spritz. It brings um hotter than hotter to me. Then also hotter than summer to me. Then uh number two, the Banana Republic catalog with short shorts. I was just flipping through the other day and I&#39;m like, yes, God bless short shorts. Because that&#39;s what I need. And number one, hotter than hotter, the Spotify Pride 2023 playlist. I just want to hear all of that good time music that makes you smile and makes you want to grind up against another boy or girl or just like dance and dance and dance. It makes me really happy, and I think it&#39;s hotter than summer. What about you, David? David: 11:16 Well, I I feel like I was misled on what I was doing. No, there was no misleading, it&#39;s just whatever you want. I uh yeah, but now that you&#39;re saying all these like sexy things, now my list is fucking stupid. My list my list is literally hot things. That&#39;s all right. Make your hot tell us what your hot things are, David. Well, well, okay. So in number three, that one empty subway car in summer. Gavin: 11:43 Yes. Okay. David: 11:45 If you live in a big city and it&#39;s rush hour and every car is full, and there&#39;s that one car that&#39;s empty, that is hot. That is hotter than summer. Good, good, good. Uh, number two, it&#39;s in the title. Hot pockets. There&#39;s no such thing as a hot pocket that is not molten goddamn lava. Oh shit. Okay. And uh number one, thing hotter than summer? Zoos. Why are zoos always fucking hot? So there&#39;s no shade. There&#39;s no every zoo experience from the fucking parking lot all the way through the it is hot, hot, hot. So number one, zoos. And now, now I feel like I have to add like a bonus one because it was sexy. So I&#39;ll say number one hotter than summer sexy edition is like when you&#39;re on a plane and you&#39;re sitting down on the aisle seat, and some hot guy comes up near you and then starts putting his bag above you, and his shirt lifts up a little bit, and you just get to see like three-quarters of an inch of belly or underwear line or whatever it is. SPEAKER_01: 12:50 Oof, that&#39;s it. David: 12:51 Wow, you came up with that on the fly. Gavin: 12:52 That was a that was a really good one. David: 12:54 I mean, there were Hey then the amount of things that are going on constantly in this head would really terrify most people. So uh so next time, let&#39;s do our our list for next week will be our top three things that aren&#39;t a big deal as a parent. Gavin: 13:09 Love it. Let&#39;s do it. Our next guest is an influencer of a different kind, a leader in parenting, in gender identity advocacy, in political statements, and social justice, but they&#39;re most known as an outspoken, transparent, relentless thought leader in what crafting. Welcome to the show, the vemper of sewing and crafting, Matthew Boudreaux, best known as MX Domestic. Matthew, when the hell are you talking to us at 7 a.m. your time? What? unknown: 13:43 No. SPEAKER_00: 13:43 I get up at four in the morning. I just do that. And so, like, I&#39;ve already been up and about and laid on my couch and took my first nap. So I&#39;m good to go. Yeah. This is when it gets going for me. Why are you up at four in the morning? It started. I mean, part of it started with the daughter when she came...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there? Or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer? I suppose. I don&#39;t know. But I&#39;m cutting all of that. David: 0:11 Yeah, okay. None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and it erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, how did you do it? What part what part of her was on fire? I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 1:31 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main one. David: 1:48 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 1:49 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. No asking about your future. David: 1:58 That was my week. Gavin: 1:59 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their identifying um uh elements. But I&#39;m like, listen, just stop being an asshole, like your sibling, you know? And I&#39;m able to go back and forth with both of those things. But the idea of being able to compare, sometimes I do want to be like, you know, if you just did it a little more like a sibling, it everything would be easier. David: 2:41 That&#39;s why you should always have a second kid. It&#39;s a backup kid. Because if one kid breaks, the other one&#39;s already. And I honestly, sometimes I feel like when one kid&#39;s being an asshole, the other one usually isn&#39;t. So I&#39;m like, yeah, okay, fine. I&#39;m just gonna leave you in here crying. I&#39;m gonna go hang out with a good one. Gavin: 2:55 Yep. Absolutely. And we the uh bringing that brutal honesty is gonna make everybody stronger in the end. So or an artist. With damage, I mean, how can you be a good artist without being a little bit damaged, right? David: 3:08 So one of the things that I wasn&#39;t prepared for when I became a parent was how every single relationship in my life changed. Um and and I would say on the majority, most changed for the better, whatever that meant. Um, but every relationship to the relationship I had with my mail carrier, to my mom, to my kids, to my friends, to like literally everyone in my life. Like I was not expecting mail carrier to come out first there. Her name is her name is Miss Penny, and she&#39;s amazing. Gavin: 3:39 M-A-I-L-O-O-L. David: 3:41 No, not M A L E, but that&#39;s that&#39;s clever. Um, so I just thought, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s something interesting that we could talk about because I don&#39;t think I was ready for that. Um, and the only thing I thought I was ready for was like, oh yeah, maybe people without kids would not want to hang out with me as much. Was that your long guy just driving by? The hot one or the old one? The old one? You&#39;re you&#39;re muted right now. Yeah. There you go. Gavin: 4:08 Sorry. Um, yeah, I didn&#39;t hit mute fast enough as he zipped by. It was not the hot one. I mean, and I&#39;m all about old hotties too, but this guy is. No, it&#39;s not so uh regardless of his age. So, so did did relationships change in your life when you became a parent? It&#39;s a fact of life that it&#39;s hard for all of us to sometimes rectify that relationships do change all the time, but they go in hyper speed uh when you have parents, uh when you have children. And I mean it reminds me of being in middle school and being disenchanted with the kids in my freshman year or in uh high school, my freshman year, my friend group changed by my sophomore year, and I think I just wanted to be like it was. And then when you have kids and you&#39;re like, wait a minute, I just want it to be like it was, but you&#39;re the the all of the change, all of the relationships change so quickly. And um, and we do admittedly, it&#39;s fun to just commiserate and complain about your kids and compare and whatnot, but it is exasperating and as we know exhausting for people who don&#39;t have kids and also people who have the wherewithal to be like, can we stop talking about our kids? But it&#39;s also fun to talk about kids, too. I mean, that&#39;s why we&#39;re here because we have fun doing it. But what exactly something&#39;s sticking in your craw, I have a feeling right now, about no, it&#39;s a friendship change. David: 5:17 I wouldn&#39;t say it was sticking in my craw. It just it I was surprised. Like, so one of the examples is like prior to my having my first kid when we were telling everybody, oh, we&#39;re like pregnant, the reactions I got, right? Some people were like, Oh, that&#39;s so cool. I had one of my closest friends in the world um say to me, Oh first words out of his mouth, oh no, we&#39;re not gonna get to hang out anymore. And I get that&#39;s so sex in this. Yeah, but I get the idea, right? It&#39;s like I know you&#39;re gonna be busier, so it like our friendship will change or whatever. But it was, it was a it was a little bit of like a shock. Um, and then of of course, like the the opposite, right? People were like super excited or whatever. Um, so one of the things is like with your own family members and your like your parents, uh your siblings or whatever, I found that on the whole, um, the relationships deepened, they got better. Uh, I don&#39;t know if you felt that way, but like with like my relationship with my mom and my my aunts and my uncles and everything, it just it deepened those relationships. Gavin: 6:12 That&#39;s interesting that you&#39;re the one who&#39;s all like profound and sincere here because my thought is actually it&#39;s interesting how my uh I feel like I have more friendships that are transitory and change based upon the circumstances. Like I have a lot of elementary school, but elementary my kids&#39; elementary school friends&#39; parents from New York, and I don&#39;t live in the city anymore, and an awful lot of those people have dropped off the planet. And it&#39;s not because we don&#39;t like each other anymore, it&#39;s just out of side out of mind. Or I have my soccer friends, I mean for my kids, my soccer friends, and then I have the lacrosse friends, and then I have the just academic friends, and some somewhere um I love the parents, but our kids don&#39;t necessarily get along that well, and I&#39;m like, tough, we&#39;re gonna all gonna hang out because I like the parents, and uh, this is about me. It&#39;s not about you either. But it is transitory where you kind of have to make peace with sometimes you have the playground friends and then and then not necessarily friends, and it makes you examine like, well, is this a real friendship or is it not if it&#39;s so transitory? And yet it&#39;s a real friendship, it&#39;s just a kind of different kind of real friendship, I think. David: 7:12 So, yes, I think part of that is due to the fact that we&#39;ve grew up in the arts, right, as actors, and so our lives have been very transitory, right? Because you know, we go to a regional gig and then we do a national tour, and then we do a Broadway show, and then we go to Europe and whatever. And so your your best friends, your family members are the people around you. Um they&#39;re intense and totally. So I just thought, yeah, I don&#39;t know why. I just thought like my family family, like my my mom, dad, and siblings and stuff, it deepened the relationship there because it was fun to watch them as a aunt, uncle, grandma, whatever. Um, and then I found the only really negative is I I felt like a lot of my friendships that that I wished had continued or adjusted to my new life, really, because my life is the one that changed, didn&#39;t. And and they they were just that connect because parenting had become such a big part of my life, that that our friendship suffered for that. And I think that&#39;s normal. It did, it, it, it saddened me because part of me wanted to like reach out and be like, no, no, no, no. Uh we still have the same relationship. I my time is just a little different. Let&#39;s just schedule it. We just have to schedule, right? And like, which is you know, very like, you know, I&#39;m I&#39;m busy, I&#39;m busy. But that is the the one downside was that like I had friends who just that was they they were just like, yeah, he&#39;s busy now, and they just kind of figured away. Yeah, but I think that&#39;s the natural part of becoming parents, is that like relationships ebb and flow and and whatever. But um, yeah, but then then there&#39;s the last thing I want to talk about, which is fucking hilarious to me, which is when you become a parent, you are forced into these bite-sized relationships with other parent people. That&#39;s either at the daycare or at the birthday party or at the park or whatever. And at the worst, it&#39;s like you&#39;re forced to stand awkwardly next to this other dad at a barbecue and make conversation about things. So much small talk. How do people do it if they don&#39;t drink? Gavin: 8:55 Also, I feel like if if you bring them and which is terrible also because I feel fortunate that I don&#39;t think I&#39;m an alcoholic, but there are, I mean, the idea that we have to drink everywhere to be able to have any kind of social lubricant is kind of too bad. But I I can&#39;t imagine going to I I I hate birthday party kids&#39; preschool birthday parties if there&#39;s not booze. Come on, because this is just torture for everybody. David: 9:18 But I will say, surprisingly, two we have we have kind of befriended two parents of kids in my kids&#39; social circle that have become really fucking cool. Like I was like, I we said this the other day, which I think is a really high mark. I would be friends with you even if we didn&#39;t have kids that were friends with each other. And so like we&#39;re already planning like a night out where we all go hang out and go to a bar and get babysitters. Let&#39;s move on to our top three list, shall we? Yeah. Gavin: 9:44 So this is your I know it&#39;s a little nebulous, but I want to know what the three things that are hotter than summer. So let me go first. Number three, Aperil spritzes. For me, an Aperol spritz, you know what an Aperol spritz is, right? I do. It&#39;s a drink, it&#39;s an Italian drink, and it is like two parts prosecco, or just cheap champagne, a little bit of seltzer on top, and a spritz of Alt Aperol. Uh like the the liqueur kind of like Kampari. Super bitter. But it is a quintessential Italian drink, and for me, it is a Vespa and uh short shorts and uh thick 1960s eye makeup and big old high heels, and it&#39;s just like sex in a drink. I just want to hop on a Vespa and ride around in the summertime in the Italian hills. So for me, I&#39;m telling you, an Aperole spritz. It brings um hotter than hotter to me. Then also hotter than summer to me. Then uh number two, the Banana Republic catalog with short shorts. I was just flipping through the other day and I&#39;m like, yes, God bless short shorts. Because that&#39;s what I need. And number one, hotter than hotter, the Spotify Pride 2023 playlist. I just want to hear all of that good time music that makes you smile and makes you want to grind up against another boy or girl or just like dance and dance and dance. It makes me really happy, and I think it&#39;s hotter than summer. What about you, David? David: 11:16 Well, I I feel like I was misled on what I was doing. No, there was no misleading, it&#39;s just whatever you want. I uh yeah, but now that you&#39;re saying all these like sexy things, now my list is fucking stupid. My list my list is literally hot things. That&#39;s all right. Make your hot tell us what your hot things are, David. Well, well, okay. So in number three, that one empty subway car in summer. Gavin: 11:43 Yes. Okay. David: 11:45 If you live in a big city and it&#39;s rush hour and every car is full, and there&#39;s that one car that&#39;s empty, that is hot. That is hotter than summer. Good, good, good. Uh, number two, it&#39;s in the title. Hot pockets. There&#39;s no such thing as a hot pocket that is not molten goddamn lava. Oh shit. Okay. And uh number one, thing hotter than summer? Zoos. Why are zoos always fucking hot? So there&#39;s no shade. There&#39;s no every zoo experience from the fucking parking lot all the way through the it is hot, hot, hot. So number one, zoos. And now, now I feel like I have to add like a bonus one because it was sexy. So I&#39;ll say number one hotter than summer sexy edition is like when you&#39;re on a plane and you&#39;re sitting down on the aisle seat, and some hot guy comes up near you and then starts putting his bag above you, and his shirt lifts up a little bit, and you just get to see like three-quarters of an inch of belly or underwear line or whatever it is. SPEAKER_01: 12:50 Oof, that&#39;s it. David: 12:51 Wow, you came up with that on the fly. Gavin: 12:52 That was a that was a really good one. David: 12:54 I mean, there were Hey then the amount of things that are going on constantly in this head would really terrify most people. So uh so next time, let&#39;s do our our list for next week will be our top three things that aren&#39;t a big deal as a parent. Gavin: 13:09 Love it. Let&#39;s do it. Our next guest is an influencer of a different kind, a leader in parenting, in gender identity advocacy, in political statements, and social justice, but they&#39;re most known as an outspoken, transparent, relentless thought leader in what crafting. Welcome to the show, the vemper of sewing and crafting, Matthew Boudreaux, best known as MX Domestic. Matthew, when the hell are you talking to us at 7 a.m. your time? What? unknown: 13:43 No. SPEAKER_00: 13:43 I get up at four in the morning. I just do that. And so, like, I&#39;ve already been up and about and laid on my couch and took my first nap. So I&#39;m good to go. Yeah. This is when it gets going for me. Why are you up at four in the morning? It started. I mean, part of it started with the daughter when she came...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there? Or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer? I suppose. I don&#39;t know. But I&#39;m cutting all of that. David: 0:11 Yeah, okay. None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son where he will give me a prompt of what to draw, and then I&#39;ll draw it, right? We have this like little kind of like it&#39;s like a little drawing tablet you can kind of push a button and it erases, like a super fancy etch a sketch. Sure. And so we&#39;ve been doing that, and it&#39;s really fun, right? He&#39;ll be like, you know, draw a spaceship, draw a fire truck, whatever. The other day, he was like, draw a woman on fire. And I was like, I had that moment of where I just like looked around the room for the closest escape route. I was like, I I or the cameras. Is this kid gonna fucking murder me? No, a woman on fire? But he&#39;s like, do it, daddy. So I&#39;m like, how did you do it? What part what part of her was on fire? I I just drew a woman and like a you know, a like a 1950s woman, right? Like a paper doll dress kind of a deal, and then just like flames in the background. But I just was like, this is some fucking dark shit. Gavin: 1:31 Well, wait a minute. Now, elemental, the Disney movie is out, and I believe like it basically it just looks like uh um oh god, what&#39;s the oh I know what you mean, yeah, where it&#39;s like their bodies on fire, but it&#39;s not like they&#39;re burning a lot of them. And it&#39;s a lady, like the it seems like the main one. David: 1:48 Yeah, like yeah. Gavin: 1:49 Oh, I see that too. Yeah. But maybe maybe have you already taken him to see Elemental? Maybe that&#39;s what he was uh I have not. No asking about your future. David: 1:58 That was my week. Gavin: 1:59 Um, I am constantly trying not to compare my kids. But when you have a kid who does A and a kid who does B, and one kid does A very well, but B badly, and one kid does B very well, but A badly, how do you avoid comparing them? So anyway, one of my kids is very much like, don&#39;t you dare compare me to the other kid, and I&#39;m trying very hard not to identify their identifying um uh elements. But I&#39;m like, listen, just stop being an asshole, like your sibling, you know? And I&#39;m able to go back and forth with both of those things. But the idea of being able to compare, sometimes I do want to be like, you know, if you just did it a little more like a sibling, it everything would be easier. David: 2:41 That&#39;s why you should always have a second kid. It&#39;s a backup kid. Because if one kid breaks, the other one&#39;s already. And I honestly, sometimes I feel like when one kid&#39;s being an asshole, the other one usually isn&#39;t. So I&#39;m like, yeah, okay, fine. I&#39;m just gonna leave you in here crying. I&#39;m gonna go hang out with a good one. Gavin: 2:55 Yep. Absolutely. And we the uh bringing that brutal honesty is gonna make everybody stronger in the end. So or an artist. With damage, I mean, how can you be a good artist without being a little bit damaged, right? David: 3:08 So one of the things that I wasn&#39;t prepared for when I became a parent was how every single relationship in my life changed. Um and and I ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We begin with a moment of &#34;is my preschooler a sociopath?,&#34; we talk about how relationships change when kids come into the picture, and this week we are joined by the worlds most fabulous crafter Mx. Domestic, a Dad who talks to us about dicks on fabrics, their life as a former sex worker, and being a gender identity advocate. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I&#39;m sure that there are people who are into casual conversation. Actually, are there? Or are they into like steamy conversation because somebody else is letting a steamer? I suppose. I don&#39;t know. But I&#39;m cutting all of that. David: 0:11 Yeah, okay. None of that will go public whatsoever. And this is Gatriarchs. So we&#39;ve been doing this thing with my son ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Michael &#038; Matt</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-michael-matt/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Jul 2023 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We start the week by  taking photos at the urinal, discuss the top 3 things that are cute when a kid does them but aren&apos;t cute when adults do them, and are joined by internet sensations Michael &#38; Matt who talk about their surrogacy process so far, how social media as a business even works,  and why they embrace their inner lesbian. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Great. Um okay, so it is soon summertime, right? David: 0:06 And we want to plan things. Sorry. It&#39;s just funny to see you kind of go. It&#39;s like watching Carrie Strug at the end of the mat, and she&#39;s like she&#39;s like prepping herself to do her round off guy can&#39;t swing back tuck. But it&#39;s a grown man doing a podcast. And this is catriarch. So I have some advice for you, Gavin. Gavin: 0:41 Um, is this what we&#39;ve come to? David: 0:43 Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s the yeah, the student becomes the teacher. Gavin: 0:46 The uh the unsolicited advice portion of our journey here. David: 0:50 Okay, I one of the ways I I feel like I do work or I are set work for later is I&#39;ll see something and I&#39;m like, ah, I need to do that, and I&#39;ll screenshot it, and then I will email that screenshot to myself. So when I&#39;m sitting in front of a computer, it&#39;s an email that I can do, delete, and go. That&#39;s just like my personal system. Gavin: 1:06 The many layers of trying to get through the to-do list, but that makes sense. David: 1:09 The problem is that I often do it while I&#39;m peeing. So I&#39;m like, like, oh, I need to screenshot that. And for the guy next to me at the urinal, he hears screenshot noise and then email, and then I zip up. Gavin: 1:24 So maybe turn the whoosh, the whoosh of your urine stream and the whoosh of the email being. David: 1:32 For sure. And so I think the advice I have is if you&#39;re going to be doing work while your dick is out, make sure that you uh your sound is off. So that&#39;s how I wanted to start this really elegant episode of Gatriarchs was just a little piece of advice. Gavin: 1:48 I will take your unsolicited advice, and I&#39;m gonna give you some unsolicited advice as well. Okay. Um, speaking of dicks and urinals and bathrooms and taking pics. David: 1:57 Quality podcast, guys, quality high-end podcast. Gavin: 2:00 Years ago, I was at a bachelor party where a buddy of mine came running out of the bathroom, actually, the bachelor, and he comes running out and he&#39;s like, You guys, you won&#39;t believe this. A dude fell asleep in the urinal, and I&#39;m like, What? And I went in, and there was a guy who was apparently so drunk, somehow, I don&#39;t know, I do not know how this happened, but I do have picture evidence of it uh somewhere. A dude had just like slumped over with his head in the urinal with his head in the urinal head in the urinal and I and I took a picture of it. And then he came to. I I don&#39;t know if I was in there or if I I don&#39;t think I was a good enough person to actually help him or wake him up. I was a bad enough person that I just took a picture and laughed about it. We know. But somehow he came to and he started to leave, and I ran up to him, and this was oh my god, this was a long time ago. Uh but it wasn&#39;t exactly like you couldn&#39;t just airdrop something, but I ran up to the guy. I mean, he was shit-faced, right? And I say to him, Hey buddy, you fell asleep in the urinal, and I took a picture of it. I want to send it to you because you&#39;ll laugh about it someday. And he goes, Dude, I do that shit like all the time. And just walked away. David: 3:16 Urinal naps? He does urinal naps all the time. I can think of maybe one or two other places that are more disgusting than your face in a like in a urinal nothing good is there. Gavin: 3:30 Yes. David: 3:31 No, just piss and stranger&#39;s pubes, which I guess some people are into. Gavin: 3:35 But that sounds no judgment. I&#39;ve but it was one of the I mean, I will be in diapers one day and remember that. David: 3:42 I will have forgotten everything about my life, but I will remember that time that I saw a dude who just passed out into your was it like a throwaway camera and you had to like click it back and then send it to Walgreens in like a little paper envelope? Gavin: 3:53 So I wanted his address, his mailing address so we could send him copies because I was gonna get doubles. David: 3:59 You&#39;re a thousand years old. Gavin: 4:01 Oh, always. So summertime is just on the horizon. Are you do you feel like you&#39;re officially in summer? David: 4:06 No, because it&#39;s still really nice outside. It&#39;s like, you know, seven minus the thick plumes of smoke that we&#39;re breathing in. Gavin: 4:12 But so you associate summer with oppressive heat that is not fun. David: 4:16 No, look, summer is my least favorite season. It&#39;s my husband&#39;s favorite season. It&#39;s the only time we argue because he&#39;s like, let&#39;s go outside. I was like, no, there&#39;s no air conditioning outside. No. Gavin: 4:26 Well, summer always makes me think of, yes, having no uh uh schedule and no routine whatsoever, which actually does drive me crazy, but also the sense of like, oh, I need to get out and enjoy this because it&#39;s summertime and I have social obligations that I need to get out and enjoy. It reminds me of how often we try to have picnics outside, or and by we, I mean society, right? Like we all think we should be outside eating all the time. But going outside to eat is a pain in the ass. Like, you know, your hot dog is cold and your beer is warm, kind of thing. And none of the food is ever actually good unless maybe you&#39;re having a pizza. But does anybody want a hot, greasy pizza outdoors when it&#39;s sunny? And your picnic menu sounds like Fenway Park. Like, are you like in a good way? I mean, that would be that would be better, just basically paying somebody else to to just hand you pre-made food as opposed to thinking I&#39;m gonna pack everything and go out to the I just find it. David: 5:19 Are you proud that I remembered the name of a stadium? Are you like because like I literally was like going through my Wrigley Field Fenway Park? Fenway Park sounds a little more like different, so I&#39;m gonna use that one. And people are gonna think I&#39;m sporty. Gavin: 5:31 The listeners in Connecticut are definitely gonna appreciate that. But nobody thinks you&#39;re sporty. Okay. Nobody. No, nobody whatsoever. David: 5:37 So don&#39;t worry, your reputation for Except for my Spice Girls costume for Halloween. Then I&#39;m sporty. Gavin: 5:44 Okay, so anyway, so I I&#39;m reminded of people who have their like pottery barn and crate and barrel picnics that just look so perfect with a blanket and like multiple bowls of food, and but when you do it with kids, it&#39;s such a pain in the ass, especially with little kids. I was invited to a picnic, okay, admittedly, years ago, where I know that the host just wanted an Instagram worthy shot. And I&#39;m like, I have two monsters that I&#39;m bringing to this middle of Central Park. I&#39;m already sweating my balls. David: 6:15 Because getting there is a is a nightmare. Getting somewhere with kids, and then you&#39;re also lugging like gingham plates and a fucking wicker basket. No, thank you. Yes. Gavin: 6:25 Yes, and your and your tripod for to get that perfect shot. But also, um, you had to prep prep the food, which means that you were neglecting your kids in the first place to get the food because it either needs to be cold or it needs to be hot, packing it and then packing the kids and all of it. Like, I am so angry with Pottery Barn and Carrot and Barrel and all the like who make it make that Don Draper sense of the 1950s picnic ideal ideal, something that we want to aspire to. Because frankly, just give me a beer and a subway sandwich and call it a day. Do you picnic? David: 6:58 No, it&#39;s like because you need, like you said, you need a staff. If you want something like that, you want a staff. So there&#39;s two problems with that. A number one is what you said, which is like the realities and logistics of having young children at a fucking unfenced area is is impossible. But also, my aesthetic is that I don&#39;t like eating outdoors on a blanket where my ass is getting a little wet, it&#39;s too hot, nothing tastes good, you just feel like you&#39;re just trying to get through it. I was like, why are we doing this? I yeah, I am I when it comes to summer, I&#39;m a fall girl, as we know. Pumpkin sliced lattes and an oversized sweater. I do and your PSLs, oh my god, PSLs and a spruce candle. Oh fuck yeah. So I love like it&#39;s a little too cold, but if we put on a sweater, it feels perfect. When it&#39;s the middle of summer and people are like, let&#39;s go outside to consume fucking chips. No, thank you. Also, my my my my memory of like outdoor eating is always like Lay&#39;s potato chips covered in like chlorine water. No, chlorine water because it&#39;s always next to a pool, like it&#39;s like pool party. And every time you put your hand in the bowl, everything tastes like chlorine. Gavin: 8:06 Somebody else&#39;s wet hands, like Jimmy&#39;s wet hands went in the the bag, and you&#39;re like, ah, you ruined the Lays and now they&#39;re wet. So what&#39;s like the what&#39;s the dream picnic for you? What&#39;s the perfect picnic for you? Okay, well, first of all, I would have eight-pack abs and be shirtless the entire time. I&#39;ll be there. I&#39;ll be there. What is my ideal picnic? Hanging out with my friends and getting drunk. No kids. David, what is your ideal picnic? David: 8:33 In my cold basement alone, watching succession. Okay, let&#39;s move on to our top three. Now, this was my list this week, and the top three list was top three things that are adorable when a little kid does it, but not so cute when an adult does it. And not kill. So uh number three for me is having conversations while you poop. My kid loves an audience, he loves, he loves somebody with him while he poops, and he loves to talk about Spider-Man and the world and you know Ukrainian politics while he&#39;s pooping. So, number three, pooping conversations. Number two, staying in the bathroom. Um, peeing at the urinal with your pants around your ankles. That is so fucking cute when a kid does it. And if I walk into a bathroom and a grown-ass man is doing that, I&#39;m out. Gavin: 9:23 I&#39;m out. You know what? The last time I remember seeing something like that happen, actually, I remember being in elementary school and seeing like a fourth grader do it and think, dude, I think you&#39;re too old to be doing it, actually. David: 9:35 Legit. Yeah. And number one for me, that is cute when a kid does it, but not an adult, eating a cupcake by just biting into it like a fucking psychopath. When a kid does it, it&#39;s so cute. They get a little frosting on their nose. When an adult does it, I&#39;m like, listen, you monster. Pull the bottom off and make it into a cupcake sandwich like the rest of us. My God. Gavin: 9:54 Do you really make a cupcake sandwich? I mean, I agree with that. When adults bite into and try to get their mouth over the entire thing. It&#39;s like a snake trying to like eat an alligator. This cum this cupcake sandwich thing perplexes me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve ever seen anybody do that. David: 10:10 Gave him you, we have all I have so much to teach you and your few remaining years on Earth. Gavin: 10:15 What is your top three list? Okay, so number three for me, believe it or not, is barfing. I think it&#39;s kind of cute when my kids puke. I mean, the times that they&#39;ve like barfed in my lap or over my shoulder, I&#39;m like, oh, my heart goes out to them. Okay, I&#39;m not a triggered barfer either. I can deal with it. I&#39;m I I I I can deal. I can deal. So I&#39;m not sure. David: 10:37 But it is cute when they&#39;re when they&#39;re sick and they&#39;re so cuddly. Yeah. Barfing, no thanks. Gavin: 10:41 But as an adult, no. You you you crawl your ass to the bathroom and and I don&#39;t want to hear it. David: 10:48 Turn on loud music. Flush as you&#39;re puking. Gavin: 10:52 Number two, spaghetti mouth. I mean, a little kid with their mouths just so full of spaghetti and like the spaghetti coming out of their mouth and the tomato sauce all over their lips. It&#39;s it&#39;s cute. Now, adults who do that, yeah. Like you&#39;re like, sir, you&#39;re gonna have to leave this olive garden if you keep eating like this. I mean, it really is uh public eating etiquette is actually really shocking. We should have a base standard at least, and spaghetti mouth is not allowed after age four. And then finally, number one. Hey, I am all about body positivity. I love the human body, but naked dancing is not acute for adults. Adults. But a little kid, yeah. Come on. Little kids naked dancing. Totally fucking cute. That&#39;s a great one. David: 11:40 All right, what&#39;s uh what&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Gavin: 11:43 Well, it is summer. Okay, it&#39;s very hot. And it is hot. Exactly. I think we should talk about the three things that are hotter than summer. David: 11:56 I wanna first talk about Gavin&#39;s weird sexy lean-in voice. Like, what was that? You like literally leaned into the mic. SPEAKER_01: 12:03 You lowered your voice. Okay, fine. Fine, fine. I&#39;ll never be like a 1-800-number voice over person. David: 12:10 Fuck me. Not with that syntax, you&#39;re not. All right, that sounds like a good list. Let&#39;s do it. Our next guests are two travel-obsessed gays who are currently knee deep in the surrogacy process to become dads. They come from the land of lesbians, Portland, Oregon, um, and have built a considerable social media presence online, starting with a meeting over their coming out videos on YouTube. They are laughing at my jokes right now. You can&#39;t see it, but they are laughing, covering their mouths. Uh, please welcome the show, Michael and Matt. Michael and Matt! Welcome. Welcome. We just had a fun little talk before I hit record, so I don&#39;t know how we&#39;re gonna get any of that stuff in. Tell us about your uh your coffee regimen, boys. SPEAKER_03: 12:53 Oh, yeah. This is a point of contention to start off with in the morning. SPEAKER_04: 12:57 Yeah, Matthew. Um, I don&#39;t know. I make coffee every single morning. I wake when I go to work at the dental clinic, I wake up at five. I make coffee. He gets to wake up at like seven or whatever. And then lounging and there&#39;s just a pot ready for him. It&#39;s like sit on the couch. Yeah. By that time, I&#39;m like already at the clinic doing some, you know, doing my my job. And then when he wakes up, when he wakes up before me, I&#39;m like, Did you make coffee? He&#39;s like, uh Okay. There&#39;s coffee that&#39;s hot. Do you do you want it? Here&#39;s this. It&#39;s from yesterday, and I&#39;m like, I absolutely do not want that. All right. SPEAKER_03: 13:41 Some people may think this is disgusting, but when you have leftover coffee, you have like so much. Like, I I mean, I I have like eight cups left in that pot. Am I gonna toss eight cups away? That&#39;s like Matthew&#39;s the king of our bucks or something. So, like, let&#39;s save a little bit of money. Two cups. Two cups, three cups, four cups, whatever. Eight cups. Eight cups. It&#39;s more like eight cups. Gavin: 14:04 So there&#39;s there&#39;s gotta be some magical recipe out there for turning that into really good iced coffee. Because frankly, when you spend six dollars getting iced coffee elsewhere, it&#39;s never any good. So, how can it be any worse just with your leftover coffee? David: 14:17 I I am I am that girl. I&#39;m the girl who was like, because I only drink iced coffee. I&#39;m I&#39;m just you know, listen, I&#39;m if you&#39;re gonna be gay, be gay. But like I I was doing that. We had a pot and I would pour it into like, you know, a...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We start the week by  taking photos at the urinal, discuss the top 3 things that are cute when a kid does them but aren&apos;t cute when adults do them, and are joined by internet sensations Michael &#38; Matt who talk about their surrogacy process so fa]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We start the week by  taking photos at the urinal, discuss the top 3 things that are cute when a kid does them but aren&apos;t cute when adults do them, and are joined by internet sensations Michael &#38; Matt who talk about their surrogacy process so far, how social media as a business even works,  and why they embrace their inner lesbian. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Great. Um okay, so it is soon summertime, right? David: 0:06 And we want to plan things. Sorry. It&#39;s just funny to see you kind of go. It&#39;s like watching Carrie Strug at the end of the mat, and she&#39;s like she&#39;s like prepping herself to do her round off guy can&#39;t swing back tuck. But it&#39;s a grown man doing a podcast. And this is catriarch. So I have some advice for you, Gavin. Gavin: 0:41 Um, is this what we&#39;ve come to? David: 0:43 Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s the yeah, the student becomes the teacher. Gavin: 0:46 The uh the unsolicited advice portion of our journey here. David: 0:50 Okay, I one of the ways I I feel like I do work or I are set work for later is I&#39;ll see something and I&#39;m like, ah, I need to do that, and I&#39;ll screenshot it, and then I will email that screenshot to myself. So when I&#39;m sitting in front of a computer, it&#39;s an email that I can do, delete, and go. That&#39;s just like my personal system. Gavin: 1:06 The many layers of trying to get through the to-do list, but that makes sense. David: 1:09 The problem is that I often do it while I&#39;m peeing. So I&#39;m like, like, oh, I need to screenshot that. And for the guy next to me at the urinal, he hears screenshot noise and then email, and then I zip up. Gavin: 1:24 So maybe turn the whoosh, the whoosh of your urine stream and the whoosh of the email being. David: 1:32 For sure. And so I think the advice I have is if you&#39;re going to be doing work while your dick is out, make sure that you uh your sound is off. So that&#39;s how I wanted to start this really elegant episode of Gatriarchs was just a little piece of advice. Gavin: 1:48 I will take your unsolicited advice, and I&#39;m gonna give you some unsolicited advice as well. Okay. Um, speaking of dicks and urinals and bathrooms and taking pics. David: 1:57 Quality podcast, guys, quality high-end podcast. Gavin: 2:00 Years ago, I was at a bachelor party where a buddy of mine came running out of the bathroom, actually, the bachelor, and he comes running out and he&#39;s like, You guys, you won&#39;t believe this. A dude fell asleep in the urinal, and I&#39;m like, What? And I went in, and there was a guy who was apparently so drunk, somehow, I don&#39;t know, I do not know how this happened, but I do have picture evidence of it uh somewhere. A dude had just like slumped over with his head in the urinal with his head in the urinal head in the urinal and I and I took a picture of it. And then he came to. I I don&#39;t know if I was in there or if I I don&#39;t think I was a good enough person to actually help him or wake him up. I was a bad enough person that I just took a picture and laughed about it. We know. But somehow he came to and he started to leave, and I ran up to him, and this was oh my god, this was a long time ago. Uh but it wasn&#39;t exactly like you couldn&#39;t just airdrop something, but I ran up to the guy. I mean, he was shit-faced, right? And I say to him, Hey buddy, you fell asleep in the urinal, and I took a picture of it. I want to send it to you because you&#39;ll laugh about it someday. And he goes, Dude, I do that shit like all the time. And just walked away. David: 3:16 Urinal naps? He does urinal naps all the time. I can think of maybe one or two other places that are more disgusting than your face in a like in a urinal nothing good is there. Gavin: 3:30 Yes. David: 3:31 No, just piss and stranger&#39;s pubes, which I guess some people are into. Gavin: 3:35 But that sounds no judgment. I&#39;ve but it was one of the I mean, I will be in diapers one day and remember that. David: 3:42 I will have forgotten everything about my life, but I will remember that time that I saw a dude who just passed out into your was it like a throwaway camera and you had to like click it back and then send it to Walgreens in like a little paper envelope? Gavin: 3:53 So I wanted his address, his mailing address so we could send him copies because I was gonna get doubles. David: 3:59 You&#39;re a thousand years old. Gavin: 4:01 Oh, always. So summertime is just on the horizon. Are you do you feel like you&#39;re officially in summer? David: 4:06 No, because it&#39;s still really nice outside. It&#39;s like, you know, seven minus the thick plumes of smoke that we&#39;re breathing in. Gavin: 4:12 But so you associate summer with oppressive heat that is not fun. David: 4:16 No, look, summer is my least favorite season. It&#39;s my husband&#39;s favorite season. It&#39;s the only time we argue because he&#39;s like, let&#39;s go outside. I was like, no, there&#39;s no air conditioning outside. No. Gavin: 4:26 Well, summer always makes me think of, yes, having no uh uh schedule and no routine whatsoever, which actually does drive me crazy, but also the sense of like, oh, I need to get out and enjoy this because it&#39;s summertime and I have social obligations that I need to get out and enjoy. It reminds me of how often we try to have picnics outside, or and by we, I mean society, right? Like we all think we should be outside eating all the time. But going outside to eat is a pain in the ass. Like, you know, your hot dog is cold and your beer is warm, kind of thing. And none of the food is ever actually good unless maybe you&#39;re having a pizza. But does anybody want a hot, greasy pizza outdoors when it&#39;s sunny? And your picnic menu sounds like Fenway Park. Like, are you like in a good way? I mean, that would be that would be better, just basically paying somebody else to to just hand you pre-made food as opposed to thinking I&#39;m gonna pack everything and go out to the I just find it. David: 5:19 Are you proud that I remembered the name of a stadium? Are you like because like I literally was like going through my Wrigley Field Fenway Park? Fenway Park sounds a little more like different, so I&#39;m gonna use that one. And people are gonna think I&#39;m sporty. Gavin: 5:31 The listeners in Connecticut are definitely gonna appreciate that. But nobody thinks you&#39;re sporty. Okay. Nobody. No, nobody whatsoever. David: 5:37 So don&#39;t worry, your reputation for Except for my Spice Girls costume for Halloween. Then I&#39;m sporty. Gavin: 5:44 Okay, so anyway, so I I&#39;m reminded of people who have their like pottery barn and crate and barrel picnics that just look so perfect with a blanket and like multiple bowls of food, and but when you do it with kids, it&#39;s such a pain in the ass, especially with little kids. I was invited to a picnic, okay, admittedly, years ago, where I know that the host just wanted an Instagram worthy shot. And I&#39;m like, I have two monsters that I&#39;m bringing to this middle of Central Park. I&#39;m already sweating my balls. David: 6:15 Because getting there is a is a nightmare. Getting somewhere with kids, and then you&#39;re also lugging like gingham plates and a fucking wicker basket. No, thank you. Yes. Gavin: 6:25 Yes, and your and your tripod for to get that perfect shot. But also, um, you had to prep prep the food, which means that you were neglecting your kids in the first place to get the food because it either needs to be cold or it needs to be hot, packing it and then packing the kids and all of it. Like, I am so angry with Pottery Barn and Carrot and Barrel and all the like who make it make that Don Draper sense of the 1950s picnic ideal ideal, something that we want to aspire to. Because frankly, just give me a beer and a subway sandwich and call it a day. Do you picnic? David: 6:58 No, it&#39;s like because you need, like you said, you need a staff. If you want something like that, you want a staff. So there&#39;s two problems with that. A number one is what you said, which is like the realities and logistics of having young children at a fucking unfenced area is is impossible. But also, my aesthetic is that I don&#39;t like eating outdoors on a blanket where my ass is getting a little wet, it&#39;s too hot, nothing tastes good, you just feel like you&#39;re just trying to get through it. I was like, why are we doing this? I yeah, I am I when it comes to summer, I&#39;m a fall girl, as we know. Pumpkin sliced lattes and an oversized sweater. I do and your PSLs, oh my god, PSLs and a spruce candle. Oh fuck yeah. So I love like it&#39;s a little too cold, but if we put on a sweater, it feels perfect. When it&#39;s the middle of summer and people are like, let&#39;s go outside to consume fucking chips. No, thank you. Also, my my my my memory of like outdoor eating is always like Lay&#39;s potato chips covered in like chlorine water. No, chlorine water because it&#39;s always next to a pool, like it&#39;s like pool party. And every time you put your hand in the bowl, everything tastes like chlorine. Gavin: 8:06 Somebody else&#39;s wet hands, like Jimmy&#39;s wet hands went in the the bag, and you&#39;re like, ah, you ruined the Lays and now they&#39;re wet. So what&#39;s like the what&#39;s the dream picnic for you? What&#39;s the perfect picnic for you? Okay, well, first of all, I would have eight-pack abs and be shirtless the entire time. I&#39;ll be there. I&#39;ll be there. What is my ideal picnic? Hanging out with my friends and getting drunk. No kids. David, what is your ideal picnic? David: 8:33 In my cold basement alone, watching succession. Okay, let&#39;s move on to our top three. Now, this was my list this week, and the top three list was top three things that are adorable when a little kid does it, but not so cute when an adult does it. And not kill. So uh number three for me is having conversations while you poop. My kid loves an audience, he loves, he loves somebody with him while he poops, and he loves to talk about Spider-Man and the world and you know Ukrainian politics while he&#39;s pooping. So, number three, pooping conversations. Number two, staying in the bathroom. Um, peeing at the urinal with your pants around your ankles. That is so fucking cute when a kid does it. And if I walk into a bathroom and a grown-ass man is doing that, I&#39;m out. Gavin: 9:23 I&#39;m out. You know what? The last time I remember seeing something like that happen, actually, I remember being in elementary school and seeing like a fourth grader do it and think, dude, I think you&#39;re too old to be doing it, actually. David: 9:35 Legit. Yeah. And number one for me, that is cute when a kid does it, but not an adult, eating a cupcake by just biting into it like a fucking psychopath. When a kid does it, it&#39;s so cute. They get a little frosting on their nose. When an adult does it, I&#39;m like, listen, you monster. Pull the bottom off and make it into a cupcake sandwich like the rest of us. My God. Gavin: 9:54 Do you really make a cupcake sandwich? I mean, I agree with that. When adults bite into and try to get their mouth over the entire thing. It&#39;s like a snake trying to like eat an alligator. This cum this cupcake sandwich thing perplexes me. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve ever seen anybody do that. David: 10:10 Gave him you, we have all I have so much to teach you and your few remaining years on Earth. Gavin: 10:15 What is your top three list? Okay, so number three for me, believe it or not, is barfing. I think it&#39;s kind of cute when my kids puke. I mean, the times that they&#39;ve like barfed in my lap or over my shoulder, I&#39;m like, oh, my heart goes out to them. Okay, I&#39;m not a triggered barfer either. I can deal with it. I&#39;m I I I I can deal. I can deal. So I&#39;m not sure. David: 10:37 But it is cute when they&#39;re when they&#39;re sick and they&#39;re so cuddly. Yeah. Barfing, no thanks. Gavin: 10:41 But as an adult, no. You you you crawl your ass to the bathroom and and I don&#39;t want to hear it. David: 10:48 Turn on loud music. Flush as you&#39;re puking. Gavin: 10:52 Number two, spaghetti mouth. I mean, a little kid with their mouths just so full of spaghetti and like the spaghetti coming out of their mouth and the tomato sauce all over their lips. It&#39;s it&#39;s cute. Now, adults who do that, yeah. Like you&#39;re like, sir, you&#39;re gonna have to leave this olive garden if you keep eating like this. I mean, it really is uh public eating etiquette is actually really shocking. We should have a base standard at least, and spaghetti mouth is not allowed after age four. And then finally, number one. Hey, I am all about body positivity. I love the human body, but naked dancing is not acute for adults. Adults. But a little kid, yeah. Come on. Little kids naked dancing. Totally fucking cute. That&#39;s a great one. David: 11:40 All right, what&#39;s uh what&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Gavin: 11:43 Well, it is summer. Okay, it&#39;s very hot. And it is hot. Exactly. I think we should talk about the three things that are hotter than summer. David: 11:56 I wanna first talk about Gavin&#39;s weird sexy lean-in voice. Like, what was that? You like literally leaned into the mic. SPEAKER_01: 12:03 You lowered your voice. Okay, fine. Fine, fine. I&#39;ll never be like a 1-800-number voice over person. David: 12:10 Fuck me. Not with that syntax, you&#39;re not. All right, that sounds like a good list. Let&#39;s do it. Our next guests are two travel-obsessed gays who are currently knee deep in the surrogacy process to become dads. They come from the land of lesbians, Portland, Oregon, um, and have built a considerable social media presence online, starting with a meeting over their coming out videos on YouTube. They are laughing at my jokes right now. You can&#39;t see it, but they are laughing, covering their mouths. Uh, please welcome the show, Michael and Matt. Michael and Matt! Welcome. Welcome. We just had a fun little talk before I hit record, so I don&#39;t know how we&#39;re gonna get any of that stuff in. Tell us about your uh your coffee regimen, boys. SPEAKER_03: 12:53 Oh, yeah. This is a point of contention to start off with in the morning. SPEAKER_04: 12:57 Yeah, Matthew. Um, I don&#39;t know. I make coffee every single morning. I wake when I go to work at the dental clinic, I wake up at five. I make coffee. He gets to wake up at like seven or whatever. And then lounging and there&#39;s just a pot ready for him. It&#39;s like sit on the couch. Yeah. By that time, I&#39;m like already at the clinic doing some, you know, doing my my job. And then when he wakes up, when he wakes up before me, I&#39;m like, Did you make coffee? He&#39;s like, uh Okay. There&#39;s coffee that&#39;s hot. Do you do you want it? Here&#39;s this. It&#39;s from yesterday, and I&#39;m like, I absolutely do not want that. All right. SPEAKER_03: 13:41 Some people may think this is disgusting, but when you have leftover coffee, you have like so much. Like, I I mean, I I have like eight cups left in that pot. Am I gonna toss eight cups away? That&#39;s like Matthew&#39;s the king of our bucks or something. So, like, let&#39;s save a little bit of money. Two cups. Two cups, three cups, four cups, whatever. Eight cups. Eight cups. It&#39;s more like eight cups. Gavin: 14:04 So there&#39;s there&#39;s gotta be some magical recipe out there for turning that into really good iced coffee. Because frankly, when you spend six dollars getting iced coffee elsewhere, it&#39;s never any good. So, how can it be any worse just with your leftover coffee? David: 14:17 I I am I am that girl. I&#39;m the girl who was like, because I only drink iced coffee. I&#39;m I&#39;m just you know, listen, I&#39;m if you&#39;re gonna be gay, be gay. But like I I was doing that. We had a pot and I would pour it into like, you know, a...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We start the week by  taking photos at the urinal, discuss the top 3 things that are cute when a kid does them but aren&apos;t cute when adults do them, and are joined by internet sensations Michael &#38; Matt who talk about their surrogacy process so far, how social media as a business even works,  and why they embrace their inner lesbian. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Great. Um okay, so it is soon summertime, right? David: 0:06 And we want to plan things. Sorry. It&#39;s just funny to see you kind of go. It&#39;s like watching Carrie Strug at the end of the mat, and she&#39;s like she&#39;s like prepping herself to do her round off guy can&#39;t swing back tuck. But it&#39;s a grown man doing a podcast. And this is catriarch. So I have some advice for you, Gavin. Gavin: 0:41 Um, is this what we&#39;ve come to? David: 0:43 Yeah, yeah. It&#39;s the yeah, the student becomes the teacher. Gavin: 0:46 The uh the unsolicited advice portion of our journey here. David: 0:50 Okay, I one of the ways I I feel like I do work or I are set work for later is I&#39;ll see something and I&#39;m like, ah, I need to do that, and I&#39;ll screenshot it, and then I will email that screenshot to myself. So when I&#39;m sitting in front of a computer, it&#39;s an email that I can do, delete, and go. That&#39;s just like my personal system. Gavin: 1:06 The many layers of trying to get through the to-do list, but that makes sense. David: 1:09 The problem is that I often do it while I&#39;m peeing. So I&#39;m like, like, oh, I need to screenshot that. And for the guy next to me at the urinal, he hears screenshot noise and then email, and then I zip up. Gavin: 1:24 So maybe turn the whoosh, the whoosh of your urine stream and the whoosh of the email being. David: 1:32 For sure. And so I think the advice I have is if you&#39;re going to be doing work while your dick is out, make sure that you uh your sound is off. So that&#39;s how I wanted to start this really elegant episode of Gatriarchs was just a little piece of advice. Gavin: 1:48 I will take your unsolicited advice, and I&#39;m gonna give you some unsolicited advice as well. Okay. Um, speaking of dicks and urinals and bathrooms and taking pics. David: 1:57 Quality podcast, guys, quality high-end podcast. Gavin: 2:00 Years ago, I was at a bachelor party where a buddy of mine came running out of the bathroom, actually, the bachelor, and he comes running out and he&#39;s like, You guys, you won&#39;t believe this. A dude fell asleep in the urinal, and I&#39;m like, What? And I went in, and there was a guy who was apparently so drunk, somehow, I don&#39;t know, I do not know how this happened, but I do have picture evidence of it uh somewhere. A dude had just like slumped over with his head in the urinal with his head in the urinal head in the urinal and I and I took a picture of it. And then he came to. I I don&#39;t know if I was in there or if I I don&#39;t think I was a good enough person to actually help him or wake him up. I was a bad enough person that I just took a picture and laughed about it. We know. But somehow he came to and he started to leave, and I ran up to him, and this was oh my god, this was a long time ago. Uh but it wasn&#39;t exactly like you couldn&#39;t just airdrop something, but I ran up to the guy. I mean, he was shit-faced, right? And I say to him, Hey buddy, you fell asleep in the urinal, and I took a picture of it. I want to send it to you because you&#39;ll laugh about it someday. And he goes, Dude, I do that shit like all the time. And just walked away. David: 3:16 Urinal naps? He does urinal naps all the time. I can think of maybe one or two other places that are more disgusting than your face in a like in a ur]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We start the week by  taking photos at the urinal, discuss the top 3 things that are cute when a kid does them but aren&apos;t cute when adults do them, and are joined by internet sensations Michael &#38; Matt who talk about their surrogacy process so far, how social media as a business even works,  and why they embrace their inner lesbian. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Great. Um okay, so it is soon summertime, right? David: 0:06 And we want to plan things. Sorry. It&#39;s just funny to see you kind of go. It&#39;s like watching Carrie Strug at the end of the mat, and she&#39;s like she&#39;s like prepping herself to do her round off guy can&#39;t swing back tuck. But it&#39;s a grown man doing a podcast. And this is catriarch. So]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Rob Lyons &#038; Carl Tanis</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-rob-lyons-carl-tanis/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 28 Jun 2023 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We start the week off with impossible questions, talk through the top 3 inappropriate things our kids said, and then jump right in to our fantastic guests Rob Lyons &#38; Carl Tanis who take us on their journey of adoption, and the many, many, many speed bumps they encountered along the way. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, don&#39;t get used to me being early, uh, but I wanted to make a good first impression so that you&#39;ll be it&#39;s just constant, it&#39;s gonna be constant disappointment from here on out. Sorry about that. David: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So I&#39;m in the phase right now where my son is asking me questions about everything, which is actually kind of fun. He&#39;ll be like, Daddy, why does a it&#39;s a car beep or whatever? And it&#39;s kind of fun, right? And it&#39;s kind of a fun game where he&#39;ll ask you a question that sounds totally normal and then you having to verbalize this thing that everyone just knows is really fucking hard. And the other day he came out with borderline and impossible question, and he said, Daddy, what&#39;s this guy for? And I went, Well and it just stopped me in my tracks. What what is this guy for? I know what this guy&#39;s made out of. I know what this guy looks like. What is this guy for? I don&#39;t fucking know. So um he literally stopped me in my tracks of that. But like every day are these questions. And sometimes they&#39;ll ask you a normal question, and you&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t I don&#39;t fucking know the answer to that. Gavin: 1:13 That is some profound shit right there. And kids are profound, obviously. But I gotta say, in that questioning phase, it&#39;s not so much profound. It is just infuriating. Have you gotten sick of the questions yet? Because I&#39;m only sick of a you wait. We need a sound, we need a sound cue for a just you wait. David: 1:30 Yeah, David says just you wait. Yeah. No, but but he&#39;ll I he&#39;ll the thing, the only thing that bothers me is when he&#39;ll be like, you know, why why is there a st uh a traffic light? I&#39;ll be like, oh, it&#39;s to tell the cars when to go. He&#39;ll go, why? I&#39;m like, so it doesn&#39;t cause traffic accidents. Why? Why? It&#39;s he&#39;s not saying why because he wants further description of the answer. He&#39;s saying why because it&#39;s fun to say. And that makes me crazy. Gavin: 1:55 It&#39;s so Socratic to just keep asking, yes, but why, yes, but why? And it&#39;s awesome, but it Oh, just you wait. Oh my God, the times. I mean, this is where my assholitionist came out so much years ago when we were in the constant why phase. And I would I I think I was pretty good about answering stuff, but eventually I&#39;d be like, okay, enough of the questions. Okay, just there there comes a time. The enough of the questions. Now, right now, my daughter is in the asking phase where she asks me things that I all that she already knows the answer to regularly. Like she&#39;ll ask me, Daddy, do you like uh chicken salad? I&#39;m like, uh, I&#39;m literally I&#39;m I&#39;m making chicken salad right now. So and we you know this about me already that we have chicken salad a lot. Or that was Daddy, why are you drinking from that box labeled Francia? Yet again. Daddy, do you like Francia? Uh Daddy, do you drink Francia every single day? And I&#39;m like, Daddy, why are you crying on the toilet? You know all the you know the answer to all of these things. Francia is the point of it all. Or asking, I mean, asking my her brother, uh, so what instrument are you gonna play next year? What instrument are you gonna play next year? Are you gonna play lacrosse? Are you gonna play soccer? And she knows the answer to all these things. And I&#39;m like, is this a trick? Is she playing mind games with us, or does she just want to hear herself talk? She has run out of things to talk to, so she&#39;s asking us inane uh questions. And I know someday I&#39;m gonna miss it. David: 3:15 But you know Just you wait, Gavin. Just you wait. Gavin: 3:18 Just I wait, but I I could do a or I could do with less of the inane questions for sure. David: 3:24 Well, you know what we don&#39;t have to wait for is our top three list this week. We&#39;re gonna jump right into it because we got a great guest today. We wouldn&#39;t want to keep them waiting. So this week, all right. You tell us what is our top three list? Gavin: 3:35 The top three unintentionally inappropriate things your kid has actually accidentally said or done that made you think, oh, we cannot, we should not be doing that in public. For me, it actually starts out in public. Number three, my uh daughter was running around top when she was two years old on the beach, and she found two um seashells, and she was obsessed with the little mermaid at the time, and so she put the seashells over her nipples to say, see, Daddy, I have shells just like Ariel. And it was pretty funny her obsession with little boobies at the time then. Number two, penis rockets. I don&#39;t know how many times my kids drew rockets that all looked like penises. They all for we went through a solid six-month phase of just dicks being drawn at school and being sent home. Dick pics coming home. Number one one time I was playing hide and seek with my kids, and my daughter, who was about three at the time, came out from hiding behind my bed, and she had a bottle of lube in her mouth. And I think I might have snapped a picture of it because it was so goddamn funny. So yeah, those are the three unintentionally inappropriate things right now. What was the lube for, Gavin? Squeaky wheels. David: 5:03 All right, so top three lists. Okay, so and number three, um, if you follow me on TikTok, you&#39;ve seen this video. Um, I am a little bit of a verbal driver, and my son overheard me say fucking asshole. And when we parked where we were going, I heard this voice in the backseat rehearsing, going, fucking asshole. SPEAKER_01: 5:23 Fucking asshole. David: 5:24 And and if you watch the video, you can see him rehearsing it like he was fucking practicing for Hamlet. He was like, fucking asshole, and saying it over and over and over again. So I have video of that one. So that&#39;s number three. Uh, number two, this happened about four days ago. It was one of his uh Emmett&#39;s grandmother&#39;s birthdays. And so we called him and we said, oh, we we called her and we said, Hey, um, uh, wish your grandmother a happy birthday. And Emmett looked at the camera and said, Happy birthday, butthole. And so um, that was really nice. Uh and number one, uh, back to Emmett and his other grandma. She was visiting us, and uh Emmett was talking about um all the penises uh at his school. Uh this kid has a penis and this kid has a penis, and this kid&#39;s penis is really big, uh, which is already awkward enough. Um and then he asked uh my mom, uh grandma, he said, Grandma, how big is your penis? And uh that shut her up pretty quick. Oh, she didn&#39;t have a response. She she just looked at me like, what do I do? I said, This is your grandkid. Don&#39;t look at me. So uh yeah. Gavin: 6:26 Oh David, how can you um how can we be inappropriate next week with uh the next top three list? David: 6:31 So next week&#39;s top three list is top three things that are adorable if a kid does it, but not adorable if an adult does it. All right. So our guests this week are two friends of mine, and I&#39;m gonna read their bios they sent me word for word. Rob. Oh, we&#39;ve never had anybody submit their own bios. Rod. Rod. Rod. Rob Rob leads guest experience for a major retailer, head of a local Pride Alliance nonprofit, and former Miss Teen USA. Gavin: 7:04 Yeah. David: 7:05 Carl currently works as an education administrator and has a background in addictions counseling, acting, and six years of pretending to be the bodies of other people as a stand-in on CBS&#39;s The Good Wife. Our guests this week live close enough to me that they can hear my nightly screams to put on your fucking shoes from their back porch. So please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Rob Lyons and Carl Tannis. Yay. How are you? Thanks for having us, former Miss Teen USA. And Rob, by the way, that I mean, uh sorry, Carl, that is that&#39;s not a joke. Carl was a hand model. You were a hand double for the the lead of that show. Is that correct? SPEAKER_05: 7:43 It&#39;s true. David: 7:43 And my hand was a Times Square billboard, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 7:47 As Juliana Margalise&#39;s hand. SPEAKER_05: 7:49 Exactly, precisely, yes. They felt she needed more managed hands. So yeah, that&#39;s where I came into. David: 7:55 I mean, you are our first guest who has had a billboard in Times Square. So this is kind of a big deal for Gatriarch. SPEAKER_05: 8:01 Pretty excited about that, yeah. And you wouldn&#39;t know it was me unless you knew my hands very well, which I think Rob does. Um but uh but uh intimately. Gavin: 8:10 Wait, you I mean, insert insert all the hand job jokes here. SPEAKER_00: 8:15 Exactly. Gavin: 8:16 You got a you got a hand job in Times Square, and you&#39;re your hand, I mean He got a hand job. David: 8:23 Yeah, he did get a hand job in Times Square. Wow. We are so happy to have you. We we love you. Yeah, thank you. Oh, I love you. Uh, Gavin doesn&#39;t know you involved. I&#39;m soon to love you. Um it&#39;s jury&#39;s out. But uh you and I just quickly, we we all met because uh again, like I met meet all the guys on the show um on the internet. Um you uh you guys run a local pride nonprofit, and you guys were having like a social night or something at the movies. Yeah, and my husband had like Googled when we moved to this town, like gay stuff in the area, and we got a lot of results. But then we saw that, like, oh, they&#39;re going to see this movie, we should go. And so we went and we went to the area where like they sell the popcorn and stuff, and we just sat there and we were nervous. And everybody who walked in the door, he would whisper to me, like, Do you think those are the gay people? Do you think do you do you think those are the gays? And we just were so embarrassed because we didn&#39;t know anybody. And luckily, one of the other members came up to Brian and he had my husband and hit he had seen him on the bus going to work, and he&#39;s like, Hey, I think I see you on the bus. And then we all joined, then we all became best friends. Um, but now you guys are dads um of a of a fun little boy who I have had the pleasure of knowing for a long time. And uh you guys adopted his whole life, yeah, his whole life, literally, except for the first couple of weeks when you guys were in Florida. But um, I like to think I was there emotionally. Um you were. Yes, but uh so you guys adopted, but before you got to adopt your son, you guys went through a whole fucking lifetime of experiences, both positive and negative. So I kind of wanted to chat with you guys about that because there&#39;s a lot of people who adopt, obviously, and there&#39;s a lot of people who have failed adoptions or who are about to go into adopting. So I thought you guys would be really helpful to have on to tell your story about what happened and maybe some advice to people who are about to go into the world of adoption. So tell us first what made you consider adoption? SPEAKER_03: 10:09 Yeah. Uh want to take it, Carl? I&#39;ll take this one. Yeah, you turn out. David: 10:13 Carl&#39;s working on his hand jobs right now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_03: 10:16 That&#39;s why the camera&#39;s only up a little bit. Well, we&#39;re on a podcast, but anyway, just your use of imagination. Um, so yeah, so we definitely, you know, always wanted to start a family. Uh, it was important to us, you know, through our many years of dating. We knew that that&#39;s, you know, once we got married, that was the next step for us. Uh, and we definitely looked at all of our options surrogacy, um, fostering, adoption. Um, but for us, I think, you know, adoption was the right fit for us. You know, I&#39;ll say it right away, financially. Um, you know, that&#39;s obviously a big component of when you&#39;re trying to start your family as a gay parent, right? Uh, the financial um aspect of it. Um yeah, and we just thought that, you know, we&#39;ve seen a lot of experiences with you know being providing homes to children who uh, you know, need different opportunities and the birth families, you know, want to place them in in a really great situation. So just the kind of act of adoption and you know, Carl has um family members uh and a cousin who&#39;s been adopted. So we have um you know adoption stories in our life, and we just wanted to make that one of ours. So, Carl, if I if you want to add anything else. SPEAKER_05: 11:19 No, I mean you said it all. So, yeah, exactly what Rob said. David: 11:23 Yeah, so so you guys decided to adopt. Now, I I we I went to a conference one time to learn about adoption, and I had no idea that there are a variety of ways to adopt. There&#39;s obviously foster adopt, but even in just the narrow lane of uh regular adoption. So tell us a little bit about like how how if you&#39;re gonna go, if you&#39;re like, I want to adopt a kid, what do you do? Like, what are you supposed to do? SPEAKER_05: 11:44 Yeah, I mean, so there&#39;s two separate options essentially. Uh, I mean, there&#39;s foster to adopt, but then when you&#39;re looking at the other adoption piece of it, there&#39;s there&#39;s uh private adoptions and then there&#39;s agency adoptions. And so you sort of have to decide which route that you want to go first. Um and really with both routes, the first step that you have to do is to get a home study done, which is basically a whole study on your home and your life, and it&#39;s done by a social worker, and that&#39;s all sort of the first part of what the puzzle of what you have to do in the adoption process. David: 12:10 Yeah, but you have to prove that your house is capable of raising a child, which is hilarious because I have seen some straight people raise children in some pretty questionable locations. Yeah. Gavin: 12:20 And did did you suddenly feel like you had to fold all the towels so that they all stacked up in a line and keep the kitchen way cleaner than you normally would? SPEAKER_03: 12:28 I know you don&#39;t know me, but my towels are always folded, just so you always uh even always folded. Gavin: 12:35 In so in which ways, though, did you have to adjust yourself quickly for an uh for somebody coming in and judging your house? SPEAKER_05: 12:42 I mean it&#39;s a deep clean, that&#39;s for sure. Um but but ultimately we were and we will touch upon this probably a little bit, but we were a part of a bunch of groups on Facebook also trying to sort of figure out what was going on and what the process is like. And everyone just said, listen, don&#39;t go crazy, you know, live your life and show your life as it is, and you know, don&#39;t hide all the liquor bottles and don&#39;t, you know, like because people do that. And you know, we wanted our social workers to just sort of get a better authentic picture of who we were. Um we just cleaned, yeah. SPEAKER_03: 13:17 What were the scents, Rob? What were the specific scents? Uh probably like beach sandals or something like something, you know, linen hanging on the line. David: 13:23 Beachwood candle, if you want to adopt children. We had a guest on, I think, three episodes ago that was a uh drag uh uh a dad who is a drag queen, and he said the same thing. He was like, I didn&#39;t know if I should like hide the drag part of me in like a closet or if I should keep it out, and and...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We start the week off with impossible questions, talk through the top 3 inappropriate things our kids said, and then jump right in to our fantastic guests Rob Lyons &#38; Carl Tanis who take us on their journey of adoption, and the many, many, many speed]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We start the week off with impossible questions, talk through the top 3 inappropriate things our kids said, and then jump right in to our fantastic guests Rob Lyons &#38; Carl Tanis who take us on their journey of adoption, and the many, many, many speed bumps they encountered along the way. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, don&#39;t get used to me being early, uh, but I wanted to make a good first impression so that you&#39;ll be it&#39;s just constant, it&#39;s gonna be constant disappointment from here on out. Sorry about that. David: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So I&#39;m in the phase right now where my son is asking me questions about everything, which is actually kind of fun. He&#39;ll be like, Daddy, why does a it&#39;s a car beep or whatever? And it&#39;s kind of fun, right? And it&#39;s kind of a fun game where he&#39;ll ask you a question that sounds totally normal and then you having to verbalize this thing that everyone just knows is really fucking hard. And the other day he came out with borderline and impossible question, and he said, Daddy, what&#39;s this guy for? And I went, Well and it just stopped me in my tracks. What what is this guy for? I know what this guy&#39;s made out of. I know what this guy looks like. What is this guy for? I don&#39;t fucking know. So um he literally stopped me in my tracks of that. But like every day are these questions. And sometimes they&#39;ll ask you a normal question, and you&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t I don&#39;t fucking know the answer to that. Gavin: 1:13 That is some profound shit right there. And kids are profound, obviously. But I gotta say, in that questioning phase, it&#39;s not so much profound. It is just infuriating. Have you gotten sick of the questions yet? Because I&#39;m only sick of a you wait. We need a sound, we need a sound cue for a just you wait. David: 1:30 Yeah, David says just you wait. Yeah. No, but but he&#39;ll I he&#39;ll the thing, the only thing that bothers me is when he&#39;ll be like, you know, why why is there a st uh a traffic light? I&#39;ll be like, oh, it&#39;s to tell the cars when to go. He&#39;ll go, why? I&#39;m like, so it doesn&#39;t cause traffic accidents. Why? Why? It&#39;s he&#39;s not saying why because he wants further description of the answer. He&#39;s saying why because it&#39;s fun to say. And that makes me crazy. Gavin: 1:55 It&#39;s so Socratic to just keep asking, yes, but why, yes, but why? And it&#39;s awesome, but it Oh, just you wait. Oh my God, the times. I mean, this is where my assholitionist came out so much years ago when we were in the constant why phase. And I would I I think I was pretty good about answering stuff, but eventually I&#39;d be like, okay, enough of the questions. Okay, just there there comes a time. The enough of the questions. Now, right now, my daughter is in the asking phase where she asks me things that I all that she already knows the answer to regularly. Like she&#39;ll ask me, Daddy, do you like uh chicken salad? I&#39;m like, uh, I&#39;m literally I&#39;m I&#39;m making chicken salad right now. So and we you know this about me already that we have chicken salad a lot. Or that was Daddy, why are you drinking from that box labeled Francia? Yet again. Daddy, do you like Francia? Uh Daddy, do you drink Francia every single day? And I&#39;m like, Daddy, why are you crying on the toilet? You know all the you know the answer to all of these things. Francia is the point of it all. Or asking, I mean, asking my her brother, uh, so what instrument are you gonna play next year? What instrument are you gonna play next year? Are you gonna play lacrosse? Are you gonna play soccer? And she knows the answer to all these things. And I&#39;m like, is this a trick? Is she playing mind games with us, or does she just want to hear herself talk? She has run out of things to talk to, so she&#39;s asking us inane uh questions. And I know someday I&#39;m gonna miss it. David: 3:15 But you know Just you wait, Gavin. Just you wait. Gavin: 3:18 Just I wait, but I I could do a or I could do with less of the inane questions for sure. David: 3:24 Well, you know what we don&#39;t have to wait for is our top three list this week. We&#39;re gonna jump right into it because we got a great guest today. We wouldn&#39;t want to keep them waiting. So this week, all right. You tell us what is our top three list? Gavin: 3:35 The top three unintentionally inappropriate things your kid has actually accidentally said or done that made you think, oh, we cannot, we should not be doing that in public. For me, it actually starts out in public. Number three, my uh daughter was running around top when she was two years old on the beach, and she found two um seashells, and she was obsessed with the little mermaid at the time, and so she put the seashells over her nipples to say, see, Daddy, I have shells just like Ariel. And it was pretty funny her obsession with little boobies at the time then. Number two, penis rockets. I don&#39;t know how many times my kids drew rockets that all looked like penises. They all for we went through a solid six-month phase of just dicks being drawn at school and being sent home. Dick pics coming home. Number one one time I was playing hide and seek with my kids, and my daughter, who was about three at the time, came out from hiding behind my bed, and she had a bottle of lube in her mouth. And I think I might have snapped a picture of it because it was so goddamn funny. So yeah, those are the three unintentionally inappropriate things right now. What was the lube for, Gavin? Squeaky wheels. David: 5:03 All right, so top three lists. Okay, so and number three, um, if you follow me on TikTok, you&#39;ve seen this video. Um, I am a little bit of a verbal driver, and my son overheard me say fucking asshole. And when we parked where we were going, I heard this voice in the backseat rehearsing, going, fucking asshole. SPEAKER_01: 5:23 Fucking asshole. David: 5:24 And and if you watch the video, you can see him rehearsing it like he was fucking practicing for Hamlet. He was like, fucking asshole, and saying it over and over and over again. So I have video of that one. So that&#39;s number three. Uh, number two, this happened about four days ago. It was one of his uh Emmett&#39;s grandmother&#39;s birthdays. And so we called him and we said, oh, we we called her and we said, Hey, um, uh, wish your grandmother a happy birthday. And Emmett looked at the camera and said, Happy birthday, butthole. And so um, that was really nice. Uh and number one, uh, back to Emmett and his other grandma. She was visiting us, and uh Emmett was talking about um all the penises uh at his school. Uh this kid has a penis and this kid has a penis, and this kid&#39;s penis is really big, uh, which is already awkward enough. Um and then he asked uh my mom, uh grandma, he said, Grandma, how big is your penis? And uh that shut her up pretty quick. Oh, she didn&#39;t have a response. She she just looked at me like, what do I do? I said, This is your grandkid. Don&#39;t look at me. So uh yeah. Gavin: 6:26 Oh David, how can you um how can we be inappropriate next week with uh the next top three list? David: 6:31 So next week&#39;s top three list is top three things that are adorable if a kid does it, but not adorable if an adult does it. All right. So our guests this week are two friends of mine, and I&#39;m gonna read their bios they sent me word for word. Rob. Oh, we&#39;ve never had anybody submit their own bios. Rod. Rod. Rod. Rob Rob leads guest experience for a major retailer, head of a local Pride Alliance nonprofit, and former Miss Teen USA. Gavin: 7:04 Yeah. David: 7:05 Carl currently works as an education administrator and has a background in addictions counseling, acting, and six years of pretending to be the bodies of other people as a stand-in on CBS&#39;s The Good Wife. Our guests this week live close enough to me that they can hear my nightly screams to put on your fucking shoes from their back porch. So please welcome to Gatriarch&#39;s Rob Lyons and Carl Tannis. Yay. How are you? Thanks for having us, former Miss Teen USA. And Rob, by the way, that I mean, uh sorry, Carl, that is that&#39;s not a joke. Carl was a hand model. You were a hand double for the the lead of that show. Is that correct? SPEAKER_05: 7:43 It&#39;s true. David: 7:43 And my hand was a Times Square billboard, yeah, yeah. Gavin: 7:47 As Juliana Margalise&#39;s hand. SPEAKER_05: 7:49 Exactly, precisely, yes. They felt she needed more managed hands. So yeah, that&#39;s where I came into. David: 7:55 I mean, you are our first guest who has had a billboard in Times Square. So this is kind of a big deal for Gatriarch. SPEAKER_05: 8:01 Pretty excited about that, yeah. And you wouldn&#39;t know it was me unless you knew my hands very well, which I think Rob does. Um but uh but uh intimately. Gavin: 8:10 Wait, you I mean, insert insert all the hand job jokes here. SPEAKER_00: 8:15 Exactly. Gavin: 8:16 You got a you got a hand job in Times Square, and you&#39;re your hand, I mean He got a hand job. David: 8:23 Yeah, he did get a hand job in Times Square. Wow. We are so happy to have you. We we love you. Yeah, thank you. Oh, I love you. Uh, Gavin doesn&#39;t know you involved. I&#39;m soon to love you. Um it&#39;s jury&#39;s out. But uh you and I just quickly, we we all met because uh again, like I met meet all the guys on the show um on the internet. Um you uh you guys run a local pride nonprofit, and you guys were having like a social night or something at the movies. Yeah, and my husband had like Googled when we moved to this town, like gay stuff in the area, and we got a lot of results. But then we saw that, like, oh, they&#39;re going to see this movie, we should go. And so we went and we went to the area where like they sell the popcorn and stuff, and we just sat there and we were nervous. And everybody who walked in the door, he would whisper to me, like, Do you think those are the gay people? Do you think do you do you think those are the gays? And we just were so embarrassed because we didn&#39;t know anybody. And luckily, one of the other members came up to Brian and he had my husband and hit he had seen him on the bus going to work, and he&#39;s like, Hey, I think I see you on the bus. And then we all joined, then we all became best friends. Um, but now you guys are dads um of a of a fun little boy who I have had the pleasure of knowing for a long time. And uh you guys adopted his whole life, yeah, his whole life, literally, except for the first couple of weeks when you guys were in Florida. But um, I like to think I was there emotionally. Um you were. Yes, but uh so you guys adopted, but before you got to adopt your son, you guys went through a whole fucking lifetime of experiences, both positive and negative. So I kind of wanted to chat with you guys about that because there&#39;s a lot of people who adopt, obviously, and there&#39;s a lot of people who have failed adoptions or who are about to go into adopting. So I thought you guys would be really helpful to have on to tell your story about what happened and maybe some advice to people who are about to go into the world of adoption. So tell us first what made you consider adoption? SPEAKER_03: 10:09 Yeah. Uh want to take it, Carl? I&#39;ll take this one. Yeah, you turn out. David: 10:13 Carl&#39;s working on his hand jobs right now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_03: 10:16 That&#39;s why the camera&#39;s only up a little bit. Well, we&#39;re on a podcast, but anyway, just your use of imagination. Um, so yeah, so we definitely, you know, always wanted to start a family. Uh, it was important to us, you know, through our many years of dating. We knew that that&#39;s, you know, once we got married, that was the next step for us. Uh, and we definitely looked at all of our options surrogacy, um, fostering, adoption. Um, but for us, I think, you know, adoption was the right fit for us. You know, I&#39;ll say it right away, financially. Um, you know, that&#39;s obviously a big component of when you&#39;re trying to start your family as a gay parent, right? Uh, the financial um aspect of it. Um yeah, and we just thought that, you know, we&#39;ve seen a lot of experiences with you know being providing homes to children who uh, you know, need different opportunities and the birth families, you know, want to place them in in a really great situation. So just the kind of act of adoption and you know, Carl has um family members uh and a cousin who&#39;s been adopted. So we have um you know adoption stories in our life, and we just wanted to make that one of ours. So, Carl, if I if you want to add anything else. SPEAKER_05: 11:19 No, I mean you said it all. So, yeah, exactly what Rob said. David: 11:23 Yeah, so so you guys decided to adopt. Now, I I we I went to a conference one time to learn about adoption, and I had no idea that there are a variety of ways to adopt. There&#39;s obviously foster adopt, but even in just the narrow lane of uh regular adoption. So tell us a little bit about like how how if you&#39;re gonna go, if you&#39;re like, I want to adopt a kid, what do you do? Like, what are you supposed to do? SPEAKER_05: 11:44 Yeah, I mean, so there&#39;s two separate options essentially. Uh, I mean, there&#39;s foster to adopt, but then when you&#39;re looking at the other adoption piece of it, there&#39;s there&#39;s uh private adoptions and then there&#39;s agency adoptions. And so you sort of have to decide which route that you want to go first. Um and really with both routes, the first step that you have to do is to get a home study done, which is basically a whole study on your home and your life, and it&#39;s done by a social worker, and that&#39;s all sort of the first part of what the puzzle of what you have to do in the adoption process. David: 12:10 Yeah, but you have to prove that your house is capable of raising a child, which is hilarious because I have seen some straight people raise children in some pretty questionable locations. Yeah. Gavin: 12:20 And did did you suddenly feel like you had to fold all the towels so that they all stacked up in a line and keep the kitchen way cleaner than you normally would? SPEAKER_03: 12:28 I know you don&#39;t know me, but my towels are always folded, just so you always uh even always folded. Gavin: 12:35 In so in which ways, though, did you have to adjust yourself quickly for an uh for somebody coming in and judging your house? SPEAKER_05: 12:42 I mean it&#39;s a deep clean, that&#39;s for sure. Um but but ultimately we were and we will touch upon this probably a little bit, but we were a part of a bunch of groups on Facebook also trying to sort of figure out what was going on and what the process is like. And everyone just said, listen, don&#39;t go crazy, you know, live your life and show your life as it is, and you know, don&#39;t hide all the liquor bottles and don&#39;t, you know, like because people do that. And you know, we wanted our social workers to just sort of get a better authentic picture of who we were. Um we just cleaned, yeah. SPEAKER_03: 13:17 What were the scents, Rob? What were the specific scents? Uh probably like beach sandals or something like something, you know, linen hanging on the line. David: 13:23 Beachwood candle, if you want to adopt children. We had a guest on, I think, three episodes ago that was a uh drag uh uh a dad who is a drag queen, and he said the same thing. He was like, I didn&#39;t know if I should like hide the drag part of me in like a closet or if I should keep it out, and and...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We start the week off with impossible questions, talk through the top 3 inappropriate things our kids said, and then jump right in to our fantastic guests Rob Lyons &#38; Carl Tanis who take us on their journey of adoption, and the many, many, many speed bumps they encountered along the way. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, don&#39;t get used to me being early, uh, but I wanted to make a good first impression so that you&#39;ll be it&#39;s just constant, it&#39;s gonna be constant disappointment from here on out. Sorry about that. David: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So I&#39;m in the phase right now where my son is asking me questions about everything, which is actually kind of fun. He&#39;ll be like, Daddy, why does a it&#39;s a car beep or whatever? And it&#39;s kind of fun, right? And it&#39;s kind of a fun game where he&#39;ll ask you a question that sounds totally normal and then you having to verbalize this thing that everyone just knows is really fucking hard. And the other day he came out with borderline and impossible question, and he said, Daddy, what&#39;s this guy for? And I went, Well and it just stopped me in my tracks. What what is this guy for? I know what this guy&#39;s made out of. I know what this guy looks like. What is this guy for? I don&#39;t fucking know. So um he literally stopped me in my tracks of that. But like every day are these questions. And sometimes they&#39;ll ask you a normal question, and you&#39;re just like, I don&#39;t I don&#39;t fucking know the answer to that. Gavin: 1:13 That is some profound shit right there. And kids are profound, obviously. But I gotta say, in that questioning phase, it&#39;s not so much profound. It is just infuriating. Have you gotten sick of the questions yet? Because I&#39;m only sick of a you wait. We need a sound, we need a sound cue for a just you wait. David: 1:30 Yeah, David says just you wait. Yeah. No, but but he&#39;ll I he&#39;ll the thing, the only thing that bothers me is when he&#39;ll be like, you know, why why is there a st uh a traffic light? I&#39;ll be like, oh, it&#39;s to tell the cars when to go. He&#39;ll go, why? I&#39;m like, so it doesn&#39;t cause traffic accidents. Why? Why? It&#39;s he&#39;s not saying why because he wants further description of the answer. He&#39;s saying why because it&#39;s fun to say. And that makes me crazy. Gavin: 1:55 It&#39;s so Socratic to just keep asking, yes, but why, yes, but why? And it&#39;s awesome, but it Oh, just you wait. Oh my God, the times. I mean, this is where my assholitionist came out so much years ago when we were in the constant why phase. And I would I I think I was pretty good about answering stuff, but eventually I&#39;d be like, okay, enough of the questions. Okay, just there there comes a time. The enough of the questions. Now, right now, my daughter is in the asking phase where she asks me things that I all that she already knows the answer to regularly. Like she&#39;ll ask me, Daddy, do you like uh chicken salad? I&#39;m like, uh, I&#39;m literally I&#39;m I&#39;m making chicken salad right now. So and we you know this about me already that we have chicken salad a lot. Or that was Daddy, why are you drinking from that box labeled Francia? Yet again. Daddy, do you like Francia? Uh Daddy, do you drink Francia every single day? And I&#39;m like, Daddy, why are you crying on the toilet? You know all the you know the answer to all of these things. Francia is the point of it all. Or asking, I mean, asking my her brother, uh, so what instrument are you gonna play next year? What instrument are you gonna play next year? Are you gonna play lacrosse? Are you gonna play soccer? And she knows the answer to all these things. And I&#39;m ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We start the week off with impossible questions, talk through the top 3 inappropriate things our kids said, and then jump right in to our fantastic guests Rob Lyons &#38; Carl Tanis who take us on their journey of adoption, and the many, many, many speed bumps they encountered along the way. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, don&#39;t get used to me being early, uh, but I wanted to make a good first impression so that you&#39;ll be it&#39;s just constant, it&#39;s gonna be constant disappointment from here on out. Sorry about that. David: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So I&#39;m in the phase right now where my son is asking me questions about everything, which is actually kind of fun. He&#39;ll be like, Daddy, why does a it&#39;s]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Cessalee Stovall</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-cessalee-stovall/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jun 2023 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we are sick of being sick, we talk shit about shit, and our special guest  Cessalee Stoval joins us from down under as she talks about life as an expat parent, what an intimacy coordinator even is, and why David almost lit her on fire. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hold on, there&#39;s an airplane going over his head. We&#39;re right in the flight path to a um National Guard place, so we have big ass helicopters going over sometimes. David: 0:09 Like the dual rotary ones that where you feel like you&#39;re in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse movie. Gavin: 0:15 And you can feel it in your nether regions when it flies over. And this is Patriarchs. So I was with my kid uh at the New England Air Museum, and we did an overnight with the scouts. We can talk about scouts another time. I know, I know. But we were so there we are, and it was we were sleeping under airplanes on the concrete, which was its own thing. But even then, uh my kid is uh he&#39;s 10 years old, and I don&#39;t understand why my kids can&#39;t slow the fuck down. Whenever we have a cultural experience that I, of course, force feed to them, uh, and they do begrudgingly, they just are are incapable of just walking around and absorbing the stuff around them. I have the most unzen-like children on the entire planet. And even my 10-year-old, here&#39;s these massive planes and jets and helicopters, and there&#39;s these old guys who are volunteers who are like showing you how the helicopter works, and you can get in and move the pedals and move the stuff around and whatnot. And yet still, my kid A just wanted to run outside and play soccer, and B, could not just like stand and gawk at it all. And I just wonder, when are they ever gonna slow the fuck down? David: 1:42 43. Uh I&#39;m I&#39;m slowing down and I&#39;m 43. Gavin: 1:48 Were do were you able to, I don&#39;t know. I mean, yes, a 10-year-old, do they want to be in a museum? Are they gonna read the panels? Are they gonna whatever? I don&#39;t know. I was interested in history though, sort of, wasn&#39;t I? I mean, I don&#39;t think so. David: 2:00 I just remember I remember that feeling as a kid just being like, I want to move, I don&#39;t want to sit here and do all these things. And then as as I got older, looking back and being like, now I want to do those things. And maybe it&#39;s just like those things aren&#39;t meant for people with that kind of that level of brain. Gavin: 2:13 And should we force them? My mom forced me to walk through museums when I was a kid, and I hated it. I hated it. So why am I inflicting the same torture on my own kids, right? But like, if he doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t know, learn something about uh Vietnam era helicopters because we&#39;re there in the museum, like what is he ever gonna learn? He&#39;s not gonna learn it from YouTube, is he? It&#39;s so tough. I mean, I&#39;ve got family uh overseas, actually, they&#39;re adoptive family in France, and they&#39;re always like, oh, our French granddaughter is contemplative and she stares at the leaves and she thinks big thoughts. And I&#39;m like, is that because she&#39;s French? I mean, do they put something in their is in their breast milk that the kids are more philosophical in France, and that I have two chickens running around with their heads cut off all the time? I wish they would slow down and be contemplative and Frenchy philosophical, but I uh it&#39;s a constant struggle, you know? David: 3:09 But you know that when that happens, you&#39;re immediately gonna be like, oh, I miss when you would just run around and you were off the walls. Um, you know what I miss? What? Everyone not being sick in my house. Oh, you&#39;re still sick? No, but see here&#39;s the thing everyone is sick all the time, and then when everyone is not sick, one person kind of goes out of a corner, and then I&#39;m like, oh no, oh no, I&#39;m gonna go. Gavin: 3:34 I&#39;m gonna pinch you in the face. David: 3:36 So we all just as you all know, we all just went through butt strep last month. And I&#39;ve told that story to so many people. Gavin: 3:43 Everybody in Connecticut knows about butt strep. David: 3:45 I&#39;ve gotten too many texts being like butt strip. So I know we have a lot of listeners because I&#39;m getting a lot of texts, but um, I everyone was healthy, everyone was at the end of their antibiotics, everyone was healthy. My daughter had an eye, she had two pink eyes throughout this whole time. And then the other morning, she fucking wakes up and her eye is all goopy. And I&#39;m like, no, no. Because what is my first thought? The health of my daughter? No. No, the the the yeah, it&#39;s that she would have to miss daycare. She&#39;s gonna that is literally my first thought. And so what I learned was what I tried to do when one kid was sick was try to keep that kid away from other kids so not everyone gets sick. Gavin: 4:28 I mean, they are children of COVID, so of course you know how to isolate quarantine. David: 4:32 But I but what I learned is that you fucking can&#39;t because when you&#39;re holding her walking down the stairs like this morning, she will sneeze directly into your eyeballs. She will just sneeze right into your open eyes. So there&#39;s no way I&#39;m trying to keep their bottles away from each other. They each they each have sippy cups. I&#39;m like, this is your sippy cup and this is your sippy cup. Immediately, all they want is the other sippy cup. And so I think what I&#39;ve learned is when one kid is sick, everyone get together and just sneeze on each other right away. Yeah, let&#39;s just all get sick together because what happens is one kid gets sick, and then on the tail end of their sickness, the next kid gets sick, and then my husband gets sick, and now everyone has stretched this week-long illness into a month. So here&#39;s the trick everyone just sneeze into each other&#39;s mouths the first day. Everyone gets sick for a couple days, but but that&#39;s that&#39;s been what&#39;s going on in our house is that keeping kids apart doesn&#39;t work. Gavin: 5:24 This definitely does remind me of I I am hey, I&#39;m the king of dating myself in this, but we used to have chicken pox parties in my neighborhood growing up. And you, you know, somebody gets it and then they send all the other kids over, and you you you rip that band-aid off as fast as you possibly can. David: 5:39 So absolutely. And then you ride the big old tiny bicycle with a big front wheel and a tiny back wheel, and you yeah. Um, and then the last thing I want to say in our our follow-up before we move on to our topics is um uh uh like five episodes ago, I had mentioned something about an underwear catalog that was really slutty when I was a kid. Remember, we were talking with the military dads, and I could not think about it. I couldn&#39;t think what the name was, and I got a text this morning uh from uh one of our listeners slash previous guest, Justin Gomlat Greer, and he said it was called International Male. Yes, you remember that catalog? That catalog was so slutty. Oh my god. It was an underwear catalog for men, but every one of the photos was like a sheer white fabric where you could clearly see this dick in these underwears, and that was the hottest porn I had ever seen in my life. Gavin: 6:30 You do have to wonder the marketing scheme behind that. I mean, but it must have been gay men behind it, and they were doing a service to the rest of the country, you know. I mean, this was activism through journalism, I suppose. Absolutely. Yeah. Fredericks of Hollywood, though, that&#39;s uh they circulated around my dorm, I remember in college, and um, I mean, they had some pretty slutty men in those, like, you know, pages 16 and 17. And it was uh it was a truncated version, but oof, there was some international mail going on in Fredericks of Hollywood for sure. Hey, David, let&#39;s talk about poop, shall we? David: 7:05 Well, I mean, we do that a lot on this podcast. Gavin: 7:07 So I um so as I&#39;ve been lamenting and talking about uh probably too much, uh, even though I&#39;m trying to limit it a little bit, I&#39;ve been solo dad for a while, and that means all of the cleaning is on my shoulders. I wish that I could say I task it with to my kids, but I mean ultimately I forget to ask them, and so I just do it myself, right? Cleaning a toilet reminds me of every single time, like for instance, our previous guest, Ellen, I think I can imitate her by saying, uh Ellen Marsh saying, Boys are disgusting. Disgusting. Our toilets, I don&#39;t understand what I do, what my kid, what my son does. Like, I don&#39;t understand what a mess we make, right? But if you, for instance, I was wiping a bit of toilet paper down on the floor around the base of the toilet, and I&#39;m like, how is this so multicolored? I don&#39;t understand what has run down there, right? I mean, I know we pee all over the place. We pee all over the walls, it splashes everywhere, it&#39;s dripping around the bowl. We are fucking disgusting. David: 8:05 We&#39;re just a great advertisement for parenting. But like, come join us, your your entire bathroom will be covered in piss. Gavin: 8:11 And you&#39;ll be reminded that you, as a man, are a disgusting person as well. And I&#39;m trying to teach my son, of course, to pee and lift up the seat when he pees. Jesus. David: 8:20 I try to I try to do aim like some people do Cheerios or whatever. I&#39;ve been trying, but because my son will just pee in whatever position he wants and it just shoots up into the sky. I&#39;ve been trying to point to the hole, you know, like the base of the toilet. And he sometimes does that, but sometimes he&#39;s like looking up in the air. Of course he is. Yeah, yeah. It is disgusting. Gavin: 8:39 I I mean, I was when I first got to the city uh in the 19, what, 1953, 1954, I was working at a restaurant and I had a really funny manager there who said, I don&#39;t know what you boys do in that bathroom, but why does the men&#39;s room smell so much worse than the women&#39;s room, right? And she had a secret that she read somewhere, I don&#39;t know, it was Pinterest circa 1953, that if you put a glass of espresso beans behind the toilet, it would actually mitigate the smell a little bit. But I remember having to clean like late at night or early um before our shifts had started or whatever, and I happened to, you know, I have to peek into the women&#39;s room as part of my responsibilities, and I&#39;m like, it really does not smell in here. Like, how on earth does a public women&#39;s restroom not smell like a men&#39;s room does? I don&#39;t I don&#39;t understand it. David: 9:26 What I gotta assume at times it does. I gotta assume at times the women&#39;s room is filled with just putrid smells. But yeah, maybe maybe women are just better than men. Gavin: 9:36 I I mean, there&#39;s a str a lot of strong arguments to be made for that. Um so then going down the toilet talk, also, I sometimes feel like such a prude when I feel like there are times to rip a fart and there are times not to rip a fart, right? Like yes, Nana&#39;s funeral is not a great time to let one rip, but I was reading Harry Potter the other night. We were all cozy. My son and I just laying in his bed and reading Harry Potter, and my daughter was listening on the floor. She&#39;s like, Oh, I missed this from a couple of years ago, and I&#39;m like, and then Harry, uh, who knows, whatever, you know, Voldemort, Voldemort, Harry, Harry, and suddenly we hear and I&#39;m like, Did you have to do it right when I was, you know, in a sweet part of Harry Potter? And she&#39;s like, I can&#39;t help it. David: 10:21 I&#39;m like, Were you more mad that your performance was interrupted? That you feel like you were carrying this like emotional journey for the audience? Gavin: 10:28 Yes. Yes, it was an interruption. That&#39;s what it was. And I feel like, I mean, am I obnoxious thinking that there is a time to rip it? But maybe in the middle of Harry Potter when we&#39;re we&#39;re calming down for the night is not the time to rip it. I know. I&#39;m I&#39;m insufferable. David: 10:43 What do you think? I mean, I I I hear what you&#39;re saying. Like, yes, don&#39;t there are some times, but also like kids at this age are just fucking all they all all they want, which is still how I am, is a laugh. A laugh at any cost. A laugh at any cost. So like my son&#39;s is the same way. Like the amount of times he says butthole just because he knows it&#39;ll get a laugh from me is obscene. So yeah, I gotta give it to the kids. Like they&#39;re just they&#39;re just there for the comedy. Gavin: 11:09 My daughter says sharp incessantly. That&#39;s all we hear. I&#39;ve probably talked about this already, and I&#39;ve forgotten because I hear it so much. I&#39;m forgetting that I&#39;m talking about it so much, but I&#39;m so tired of hearing shart. But when did I become such a prude? Uh embrace the farts and the sharts, I suppose. David: 11:26 Well, with that, why don&#39;t we move on to our top three list? Finally. Okay, so this week, um, our top three list is top three baby drag names. And um, instead of me going, I&#39;m gonna pinch hit, which is a sports reference, I think, right? Is that about baseball? Gavin: 11:42 I&#39;ve been pinch something, I guess. David: 11:44 Yeah, I&#39;m gonna pinch it off, and I&#39;m actually gonna bunt to my husband, uh, Brian, who is gonna be our special guest this week, and do the top three baby drag names because he is a punster, and this is his entire life. So uh take it away, Brian. What are your top three baby drag names? SPEAKER_01: 12:00 Well, listener, first time caller. Um, so I had a million of these, and I had to narrow it down to three because that&#39;s the rule. Gavin: 12:10 So maybe someday when we have show notes, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll list your other 999,000 of them. SPEAKER_01: 12:16 Yes, I&#39;ll give you all the rejects. But in the Greek tradition of drag, I started with a lot of female performers, and from my references, you&#39;ll see I&#39;m a thousand years old. So um three baby drag queen name, Druly Andrews. I&#39;m hearing these for the first time too, by the way. Gavin: 12:35 I like it, I like it. SPEAKER_01: 12:36 Number two in a similar vein, Doris Daycare. Oh god. All right, my number one, which is a totally different approach. Number one, baby drag queen name, Erin Fection. Oh, that was really good. David: 12:55 That was a little good. That was good, Brian. That was that was excellent. Gavin: 12:59 You came out, um, you you scored a home run to further David&#39;s terrible metaphors here, but something like that. David: 13:07 Thank you, Brian. That is uh Brian&#39;s top three baby drag names, and it&#39;s up to you now, Gaven. What&#39;s your top three baby drag names? Gavin: 13:13 I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know that this is a natural talent of mine, but I did uh come up with a few that I thought if I were a baby drag queen, uh I wouldn&#39;t be embarrassed to be named these. Number three, creamy spitupa. Okay. Creamy spituppa is my number three. Number two is Bebeyance. David: 13:37 That&#39;s a good one. That&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 13:38 And finally, at number one, my number one die is Aria. David: 13:44 Oh, that&#39;s a good one. Um, when I was trying to come on my own, I thought Lady Goo Goo instead of Lady Gaga. But yeah, okay. That was that was a good list. All right, what is next week&#39;s list? Gavin: 13:55 Next week, we&#39;re gonna talk about the three things, the three top things that your child has done inadvertently that were wildly inappropriate. Father&#39;s Day was just a couple of days ago. Two days ago? Three days ago. How sweet was your father&#39;s day, David? David: 14:14 Well, first of all, gay guys get fucking shafted on Father&#39;s...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we are sick of being sick, we talk shit about shit, and our special guest  Cessalee Stoval joins us from down under as she talks about life as an expat parent, what an intimacy coordinator even is, and why David almost lit her on fire. Thanks ]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we are sick of being sick, we talk shit about shit, and our special guest  Cessalee Stoval joins us from down under as she talks about life as an expat parent, what an intimacy coordinator even is, and why David almost lit her on fire. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hold on, there&#39;s an airplane going over his head. We&#39;re right in the flight path to a um National Guard place, so we have big ass helicopters going over sometimes. David: 0:09 Like the dual rotary ones that where you feel like you&#39;re in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse movie. Gavin: 0:15 And you can feel it in your nether regions when it flies over. And this is Patriarchs. So I was with my kid uh at the New England Air Museum, and we did an overnight with the scouts. We can talk about scouts another time. I know, I know. But we were so there we are, and it was we were sleeping under airplanes on the concrete, which was its own thing. But even then, uh my kid is uh he&#39;s 10 years old, and I don&#39;t understand why my kids can&#39;t slow the fuck down. Whenever we have a cultural experience that I, of course, force feed to them, uh, and they do begrudgingly, they just are are incapable of just walking around and absorbing the stuff around them. I have the most unzen-like children on the entire planet. And even my 10-year-old, here&#39;s these massive planes and jets and helicopters, and there&#39;s these old guys who are volunteers who are like showing you how the helicopter works, and you can get in and move the pedals and move the stuff around and whatnot. And yet still, my kid A just wanted to run outside and play soccer, and B, could not just like stand and gawk at it all. And I just wonder, when are they ever gonna slow the fuck down? David: 1:42 43. Uh I&#39;m I&#39;m slowing down and I&#39;m 43. Gavin: 1:48 Were do were you able to, I don&#39;t know. I mean, yes, a 10-year-old, do they want to be in a museum? Are they gonna read the panels? Are they gonna whatever? I don&#39;t know. I was interested in history though, sort of, wasn&#39;t I? I mean, I don&#39;t think so. David: 2:00 I just remember I remember that feeling as a kid just being like, I want to move, I don&#39;t want to sit here and do all these things. And then as as I got older, looking back and being like, now I want to do those things. And maybe it&#39;s just like those things aren&#39;t meant for people with that kind of that level of brain. Gavin: 2:13 And should we force them? My mom forced me to walk through museums when I was a kid, and I hated it. I hated it. So why am I inflicting the same torture on my own kids, right? But like, if he doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t know, learn something about uh Vietnam era helicopters because we&#39;re there in the museum, like what is he ever gonna learn? He&#39;s not gonna learn it from YouTube, is he? It&#39;s so tough. I mean, I&#39;ve got family uh overseas, actually, they&#39;re adoptive family in France, and they&#39;re always like, oh, our French granddaughter is contemplative and she stares at the leaves and she thinks big thoughts. And I&#39;m like, is that because she&#39;s French? I mean, do they put something in their is in their breast milk that the kids are more philosophical in France, and that I have two chickens running around with their heads cut off all the time? I wish they would slow down and be contemplative and Frenchy philosophical, but I uh it&#39;s a constant struggle, you know? David: 3:09 But you know that when that happens, you&#39;re immediately gonna be like, oh, I miss when you would just run around and you were off the walls. Um, you know what I miss? What? Everyone not being sick in my house. Oh, you&#39;re still sick? No, but see here&#39;s the thing everyone is sick all the time, and then when everyone is not sick, one person kind of goes out of a corner, and then I&#39;m like, oh no, oh no, I&#39;m gonna go. Gavin: 3:34 I&#39;m gonna pinch you in the face. David: 3:36 So we all just as you all know, we all just went through butt strep last month. And I&#39;ve told that story to so many people. Gavin: 3:43 Everybody in Connecticut knows about butt strep. David: 3:45 I&#39;ve gotten too many texts being like butt strip. So I know we have a lot of listeners because I&#39;m getting a lot of texts, but um, I everyone was healthy, everyone was at the end of their antibiotics, everyone was healthy. My daughter had an eye, she had two pink eyes throughout this whole time. And then the other morning, she fucking wakes up and her eye is all goopy. And I&#39;m like, no, no. Because what is my first thought? The health of my daughter? No. No, the the the yeah, it&#39;s that she would have to miss daycare. She&#39;s gonna that is literally my first thought. And so what I learned was what I tried to do when one kid was sick was try to keep that kid away from other kids so not everyone gets sick. Gavin: 4:28 I mean, they are children of COVID, so of course you know how to isolate quarantine. David: 4:32 But I but what I learned is that you fucking can&#39;t because when you&#39;re holding her walking down the stairs like this morning, she will sneeze directly into your eyeballs. She will just sneeze right into your open eyes. So there&#39;s no way I&#39;m trying to keep their bottles away from each other. They each they each have sippy cups. I&#39;m like, this is your sippy cup and this is your sippy cup. Immediately, all they want is the other sippy cup. And so I think what I&#39;ve learned is when one kid is sick, everyone get together and just sneeze on each other right away. Yeah, let&#39;s just all get sick together because what happens is one kid gets sick, and then on the tail end of their sickness, the next kid gets sick, and then my husband gets sick, and now everyone has stretched this week-long illness into a month. So here&#39;s the trick everyone just sneeze into each other&#39;s mouths the first day. Everyone gets sick for a couple days, but but that&#39;s that&#39;s been what&#39;s going on in our house is that keeping kids apart doesn&#39;t work. Gavin: 5:24 This definitely does remind me of I I am hey, I&#39;m the king of dating myself in this, but we used to have chicken pox parties in my neighborhood growing up. And you, you know, somebody gets it and then they send all the other kids over, and you you you rip that band-aid off as fast as you possibly can. David: 5:39 So absolutely. And then you ride the big old tiny bicycle with a big front wheel and a tiny back wheel, and you yeah. Um, and then the last thing I want to say in our our follow-up before we move on to our topics is um uh uh like five episodes ago, I had mentioned something about an underwear catalog that was really slutty when I was a kid. Remember, we were talking with the military dads, and I could not think about it. I couldn&#39;t think what the name was, and I got a text this morning uh from uh one of our listeners slash previous guest, Justin Gomlat Greer, and he said it was called International Male. Yes, you remember that catalog? That catalog was so slutty. Oh my god. It was an underwear catalog for men, but every one of the photos was like a sheer white fabric where you could clearly see this dick in these underwears, and that was the hottest porn I had ever seen in my life. Gavin: 6:30 You do have to wonder the marketing scheme behind that. I mean, but it must have been gay men behind it, and they were doing a service to the rest of the country, you know. I mean, this was activism through journalism, I suppose. Absolutely. Yeah. Fredericks of Hollywood, though, that&#39;s uh they circulated around my dorm, I remember in college, and um, I mean, they had some pretty slutty men in those, like, you know, pages 16 and 17. And it was uh it was a truncated version, but oof, there was some international mail going on in Fredericks of Hollywood for sure. Hey, David, let&#39;s talk about poop, shall we? David: 7:05 Well, I mean, we do that a lot on this podcast. Gavin: 7:07 So I um so as I&#39;ve been lamenting and talking about uh probably too much, uh, even though I&#39;m trying to limit it a little bit, I&#39;ve been solo dad for a while, and that means all of the cleaning is on my shoulders. I wish that I could say I task it with to my kids, but I mean ultimately I forget to ask them, and so I just do it myself, right? Cleaning a toilet reminds me of every single time, like for instance, our previous guest, Ellen, I think I can imitate her by saying, uh Ellen Marsh saying, Boys are disgusting. Disgusting. Our toilets, I don&#39;t understand what I do, what my kid, what my son does. Like, I don&#39;t understand what a mess we make, right? But if you, for instance, I was wiping a bit of toilet paper down on the floor around the base of the toilet, and I&#39;m like, how is this so multicolored? I don&#39;t understand what has run down there, right? I mean, I know we pee all over the place. We pee all over the walls, it splashes everywhere, it&#39;s dripping around the bowl. We are fucking disgusting. David: 8:05 We&#39;re just a great advertisement for parenting. But like, come join us, your your entire bathroom will be covered in piss. Gavin: 8:11 And you&#39;ll be reminded that you, as a man, are a disgusting person as well. And I&#39;m trying to teach my son, of course, to pee and lift up the seat when he pees. Jesus. David: 8:20 I try to I try to do aim like some people do Cheerios or whatever. I&#39;ve been trying, but because my son will just pee in whatever position he wants and it just shoots up into the sky. I&#39;ve been trying to point to the hole, you know, like the base of the toilet. And he sometimes does that, but sometimes he&#39;s like looking up in the air. Of course he is. Yeah, yeah. It is disgusting. Gavin: 8:39 I I mean, I was when I first got to the city uh in the 19, what, 1953, 1954, I was working at a restaurant and I had a really funny manager there who said, I don&#39;t know what you boys do in that bathroom, but why does the men&#39;s room smell so much worse than the women&#39;s room, right? And she had a secret that she read somewhere, I don&#39;t know, it was Pinterest circa 1953, that if you put a glass of espresso beans behind the toilet, it would actually mitigate the smell a little bit. But I remember having to clean like late at night or early um before our shifts had started or whatever, and I happened to, you know, I have to peek into the women&#39;s room as part of my responsibilities, and I&#39;m like, it really does not smell in here. Like, how on earth does a public women&#39;s restroom not smell like a men&#39;s room does? I don&#39;t I don&#39;t understand it. David: 9:26 What I gotta assume at times it does. I gotta assume at times the women&#39;s room is filled with just putrid smells. But yeah, maybe maybe women are just better than men. Gavin: 9:36 I I mean, there&#39;s a str a lot of strong arguments to be made for that. Um so then going down the toilet talk, also, I sometimes feel like such a prude when I feel like there are times to rip a fart and there are times not to rip a fart, right? Like yes, Nana&#39;s funeral is not a great time to let one rip, but I was reading Harry Potter the other night. We were all cozy. My son and I just laying in his bed and reading Harry Potter, and my daughter was listening on the floor. She&#39;s like, Oh, I missed this from a couple of years ago, and I&#39;m like, and then Harry, uh, who knows, whatever, you know, Voldemort, Voldemort, Harry, Harry, and suddenly we hear and I&#39;m like, Did you have to do it right when I was, you know, in a sweet part of Harry Potter? And she&#39;s like, I can&#39;t help it. David: 10:21 I&#39;m like, Were you more mad that your performance was interrupted? That you feel like you were carrying this like emotional journey for the audience? Gavin: 10:28 Yes. Yes, it was an interruption. That&#39;s what it was. And I feel like, I mean, am I obnoxious thinking that there is a time to rip it? But maybe in the middle of Harry Potter when we&#39;re we&#39;re calming down for the night is not the time to rip it. I know. I&#39;m I&#39;m insufferable. David: 10:43 What do you think? I mean, I I I hear what you&#39;re saying. Like, yes, don&#39;t there are some times, but also like kids at this age are just fucking all they all all they want, which is still how I am, is a laugh. A laugh at any cost. A laugh at any cost. So like my son&#39;s is the same way. Like the amount of times he says butthole just because he knows it&#39;ll get a laugh from me is obscene. So yeah, I gotta give it to the kids. Like they&#39;re just they&#39;re just there for the comedy. Gavin: 11:09 My daughter says sharp incessantly. That&#39;s all we hear. I&#39;ve probably talked about this already, and I&#39;ve forgotten because I hear it so much. I&#39;m forgetting that I&#39;m talking about it so much, but I&#39;m so tired of hearing shart. But when did I become such a prude? Uh embrace the farts and the sharts, I suppose. David: 11:26 Well, with that, why don&#39;t we move on to our top three list? Finally. Okay, so this week, um, our top three list is top three baby drag names. And um, instead of me going, I&#39;m gonna pinch hit, which is a sports reference, I think, right? Is that about baseball? Gavin: 11:42 I&#39;ve been pinch something, I guess. David: 11:44 Yeah, I&#39;m gonna pinch it off, and I&#39;m actually gonna bunt to my husband, uh, Brian, who is gonna be our special guest this week, and do the top three baby drag names because he is a punster, and this is his entire life. So uh take it away, Brian. What are your top three baby drag names? SPEAKER_01: 12:00 Well, listener, first time caller. Um, so I had a million of these, and I had to narrow it down to three because that&#39;s the rule. Gavin: 12:10 So maybe someday when we have show notes, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll list your other 999,000 of them. SPEAKER_01: 12:16 Yes, I&#39;ll give you all the rejects. But in the Greek tradition of drag, I started with a lot of female performers, and from my references, you&#39;ll see I&#39;m a thousand years old. So um three baby drag queen name, Druly Andrews. I&#39;m hearing these for the first time too, by the way. Gavin: 12:35 I like it, I like it. SPEAKER_01: 12:36 Number two in a similar vein, Doris Daycare. Oh god. All right, my number one, which is a totally different approach. Number one, baby drag queen name, Erin Fection. Oh, that was really good. David: 12:55 That was a little good. That was good, Brian. That was that was excellent. Gavin: 12:59 You came out, um, you you scored a home run to further David&#39;s terrible metaphors here, but something like that. David: 13:07 Thank you, Brian. That is uh Brian&#39;s top three baby drag names, and it&#39;s up to you now, Gaven. What&#39;s your top three baby drag names? Gavin: 13:13 I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know that this is a natural talent of mine, but I did uh come up with a few that I thought if I were a baby drag queen, uh I wouldn&#39;t be embarrassed to be named these. Number three, creamy spitupa. Okay. Creamy spituppa is my number three. Number two is Bebeyance. David: 13:37 That&#39;s a good one. That&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 13:38 And finally, at number one, my number one die is Aria. David: 13:44 Oh, that&#39;s a good one. Um, when I was trying to come on my own, I thought Lady Goo Goo instead of Lady Gaga. But yeah, okay. That was that was a good list. All right, what is next week&#39;s list? Gavin: 13:55 Next week, we&#39;re gonna talk about the three things, the three top things that your child has done inadvertently that were wildly inappropriate. Father&#39;s Day was just a couple of days ago. Two days ago? Three days ago. How sweet was your father&#39;s day, David? David: 14:14 Well, first of all, gay guys get fucking shafted on Father&#39;s...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we are sick of being sick, we talk shit about shit, and our special guest  Cessalee Stoval joins us from down under as she talks about life as an expat parent, what an intimacy coordinator even is, and why David almost lit her on fire. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hold on, there&#39;s an airplane going over his head. We&#39;re right in the flight path to a um National Guard place, so we have big ass helicopters going over sometimes. David: 0:09 Like the dual rotary ones that where you feel like you&#39;re in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse movie. Gavin: 0:15 And you can feel it in your nether regions when it flies over. And this is Patriarchs. So I was with my kid uh at the New England Air Museum, and we did an overnight with the scouts. We can talk about scouts another time. I know, I know. But we were so there we are, and it was we were sleeping under airplanes on the concrete, which was its own thing. But even then, uh my kid is uh he&#39;s 10 years old, and I don&#39;t understand why my kids can&#39;t slow the fuck down. Whenever we have a cultural experience that I, of course, force feed to them, uh, and they do begrudgingly, they just are are incapable of just walking around and absorbing the stuff around them. I have the most unzen-like children on the entire planet. And even my 10-year-old, here&#39;s these massive planes and jets and helicopters, and there&#39;s these old guys who are volunteers who are like showing you how the helicopter works, and you can get in and move the pedals and move the stuff around and whatnot. And yet still, my kid A just wanted to run outside and play soccer, and B, could not just like stand and gawk at it all. And I just wonder, when are they ever gonna slow the fuck down? David: 1:42 43. Uh I&#39;m I&#39;m slowing down and I&#39;m 43. Gavin: 1:48 Were do were you able to, I don&#39;t know. I mean, yes, a 10-year-old, do they want to be in a museum? Are they gonna read the panels? Are they gonna whatever? I don&#39;t know. I was interested in history though, sort of, wasn&#39;t I? I mean, I don&#39;t think so. David: 2:00 I just remember I remember that feeling as a kid just being like, I want to move, I don&#39;t want to sit here and do all these things. And then as as I got older, looking back and being like, now I want to do those things. And maybe it&#39;s just like those things aren&#39;t meant for people with that kind of that level of brain. Gavin: 2:13 And should we force them? My mom forced me to walk through museums when I was a kid, and I hated it. I hated it. So why am I inflicting the same torture on my own kids, right? But like, if he doesn&#39;t, I don&#39;t know, learn something about uh Vietnam era helicopters because we&#39;re there in the museum, like what is he ever gonna learn? He&#39;s not gonna learn it from YouTube, is he? It&#39;s so tough. I mean, I&#39;ve got family uh overseas, actually, they&#39;re adoptive family in France, and they&#39;re always like, oh, our French granddaughter is contemplative and she stares at the leaves and she thinks big thoughts. And I&#39;m like, is that because she&#39;s French? I mean, do they put something in their is in their breast milk that the kids are more philosophical in France, and that I have two chickens running around with their heads cut off all the time? I wish they would slow down and be contemplative and Frenchy philosophical, but I uh it&#39;s a constant struggle, you know? David: 3:09 But you know that when that happens, you&#39;re immediately gonna be like, oh, I miss when you would just run around and you were off the walls. Um, you know what I miss? What? Everyone not being sick in my house. Oh, you&#39;re still sick? No, but see here&#39]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we are sick of being sick, we talk shit about shit, and our special guest  Cessalee Stoval joins us from down under as she talks about life as an expat parent, what an intimacy coordinator even is, and why David almost lit her on fire. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Hold on, there&#39;s an airplane going over his head. We&#39;re right in the flight path to a um National Guard place, so we have big ass helicopters going over sometimes. David: 0:09 Like the dual rotary ones that where you feel like you&#39;re in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse movie. Gavin: 0:15 And you can feel it in your nether regions when it flies over. And this is Patriarchs. So I was with my kid uh at the New England Air Museum, and we did an ov]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
	<googleplay:block>no</googleplay:block>
</item>

<item>
	<title>The one with Courter Simmons</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-courter-simmons/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12948362</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, we talk all things poop, the top 3 movies that made you feel gay as a kid, and the right wing&apos;s most formidable villain Courter Simmons joins us to talk about being a dad who is also a drag queen, and why he voluntarily goes to Staten Island.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So sometimes it&#39;s we have to run it longer, sometimes it&#39;s the exact right amount. It&#39;s just whatever. But yeah, I always have to do it from the back. Most of that is most of the things we that I when I&#39;m editing, I have to start from the end to line things up. Are you are you smiling because you&#39;re trying to think of a like a from the back joke? I feel like in your eyes, you&#39;re like, how do I work doing it from the back into a joke? And this is catriarchs. So we&#39;re in the middle of Pride Month, so I figure why don&#39;t we talk about poop? Gavin: 0:43 Absolutely. Absolutely on brand. David: 0:45 I have to, I, I I brought this up because I was like, I have to admit this on our show because it&#39;s important for our listeners to understand that I am also disgusting. Gavin: 0:55 Um if tech wasn&#39;t already completely clear. David: 0:59 So, first of all, in general, my my son is now fully poly potty trained, but for whatever reason, he demands I watch him poop. So whenever he has to poop, he goes, Daddy, I have to poop. And I&#39;m like, Go poop. You know how you do the bath. You go to all the time. And he&#39;s like, come watch me poop. Now there&#39;s no arguing with him because he&#39;ll just poop in his pants unless you watch him. So now I sit on the floor while he sits in the toilet and we have a really great conversation. I don&#39;t know why this is happening. I don&#39;t know why he wants me to watch him poop, but I have to watch him poop right now. But that&#39;s not the story. Gavin: 1:31 Okay, well, I I was gonna say, I wonder if this is universal because I I&#39;ve heard this a lot. And my kids were public poopers as well, um, social poopers. And my my favorite was watching having, in particular, my uh daughter, she would be talking to me very intently about her day, you know, something frivolous and light. And then suddenly she gets that look in her face where she just far off look. The far-off look, and then plop plop. It&#39;s uh oh, I miss those days. I do miss it. David: 2:01 Well, so let&#39;s see if you miss them after this. So I was out with my one-year-old. She&#39;s she&#39;s obviously still on diapers, and we were within a block of the house. So I didn&#39;t bring the bag, I didn&#39;t bring the toy, like the wipes, all the things. We were just gonna kind of play in this neighbor&#39;s yard. It was very sweet. Let us play in our yard. Gavin: 2:19 Yeah. David: 2:19 And somehow we kind of migrated to the far park. And the whole time I was thinking, well, should I bring the bag? I was like, no, it&#39;s fine if she needs a diaper, whatever. Um, well, we&#39;ll just go back to the house. Well, eventually we get really far, and of course, I see the far-off look in her eyes. Oh no. She just gets quiet and she&#39;s like, I&#39;m like, oh fuck. Because I&#39;m like, well, I don&#39;t want to carry her in her own like, you know, I don&#39;t want to squeeze the poop up or whatever, but also I don&#39;t have a diaper on me. So I&#39;m like, well, maybe she wasn&#39;t really pooping. So I look in her diaper, yep, there&#39;s a fucking giant pile of poop. But it is like hard, dry poop. And so I go, huh. And so I take Hannah, my daughter, and I walk her behind some trees, and I pull her little diaper down like halfway, and I just like boop, kind of like the old lady in Titanic throws the heart of the ocean in. I kind of make the same noise. She does the same thing, and I kind of go, boop, and the just little solid brick of poop shoots out, lands behind the tree. I pull her diaper right up and we walk the fuck out of the park. Yes, and so that is me being dad of the year, and now she has a clean diaper, and we can just stroll the way back home. Gavin: 3:38 Oh, I love that story, and everybody had to just say, wow, Gabin, don&#39;t laugh so loudly. But I mean, it&#39;s just it&#39;s it&#39;s survival, yo. David: 3:46 It&#39;s survival, and also I believe you should clean up after your dogs. But listen, when my one-year-old poops in her pants, I&#39;m gonna throw that shit whatever I want. Gavin: 3:53 I mean, one of the conveniences of being a boy slash having a little boy is peeing in public. David: 4:00 My son yesterday was peeing in the front yard, and I said, Emmett, what are you doing? He goes, I had to go. I said, You have to go inside in a toilet. He&#39;s like, but I like peeing in the front yard. So now we are the redneck fucking neighbors with the three-year-old who pisses in the front yard. I mean, my God, never let gaze into your neighborhood. Gavin: 4:18 Well, I I don&#39;t know how many times I would be in public playgrounds in New York City with eyeballs all over the place. And I got to the point where I would say to my kids, just just just don&#39;t even ask. Just go. Just go do it. So, because if you ask me, and I&#39;m having a conversation with this person next to me, I mean, frankly, we&#39;re all in the same boat, right? Like, what parent isn&#39;t gonna be like, God damn it, I don&#39;t want to have to pick up there is not a bathroom here at this playground. I don&#39;t want you to go to the the McDonald&#39;s that&#39;s actually more disgusting than you just peeing behind a bush. Just go pee behind a bush real quick. I mean, I in a city like New York City, you can&#39;t have millions of kids doing that, and yet at the same time, there&#39;s got to be a better solution than having to leave the friggin&#39; playground. But we&#39;re so puritanical about every everything from sex to peeing and pooping. We all do it. David: 4:59 So Kavan, I have pooped and peed in so many public places in New York City. It would I someday, I won&#39;t do it today, but someday I&#39;ll tell you the the story of me peeing on the in train on the way home from a club one day. It was horrific. But like there&#39;s no public bathrooms in New York City, and also there&#39;s something about being a guy and peeing outside that feels really good. Like when you&#39;re camping and you just pee outside, why does it feel so good? So like I don&#39;t blame him for wanting to do that. Um, one thing I wanted to bring up today, too. I had talked a couple episodes, oh no, many episodes ago, about daycare um parties, right? Like when you have a party for your kid and you invite everyone from daycare and they&#39;re so expensive, and these brilliant parents are like splitting the parties, right? So that that was a that was a huge life hack I learned, and I think is really great. Um, I found a new hack that&#39;s even better than that because somebody in my daycare did it, and I think it&#39;s fucking brilliant. So it was uh somebody had posted in the in the daycare group, hey, it&#39;s this girl&#39;s birthday. Um, don&#39;t bring lunch. She&#39;s providing pizza and cake and all these things. And of course, my first thought is like, of course, I&#39;m getting more pizza and cake into my kid. Yeah. My God, around it. I know it. And he comes home with these like goodie bags. You know how like you have to make goodie bags for the kids who come to your party now? Sure. And so he came, uh, he came home and I realized she didn&#39;t have to do a birthday party. SPEAKER_02: 6:28 Oh. David: 6:29 She made daycare her birthday party, and all she had to do was pay for pizzas and cake and goodie bags. And the venue was daycare because all of those same kids would have been the kids who had to go totally to the expensive place. Oh my god, it was such a mind fuck. I was like, that is so brilliant. Not only is the sharing of the birthday brilliant, but the fact that you&#39;re just like, you know what? You&#39;re you&#39;re just gonna be with these kids anyway. So, life hack. So, guess what I meant? On your fourth birthday, daycare party. Gavin: 7:00 Yeah. I mean, the the hey, we&#39;re all just trying to get by, and I think that was genius. Um, it&#39;s too bad that you didn&#39;t think about it and save money on the last birthday, but good. I&#39;m glad you&#39;re gonna take that forward. So um, we are at our top three list. And do you recall the topic this week? David: 7:19 Yes, because I legitimately spent more time thinking about this top three list than anything we&#39;ve had so far because I got so excited. Because as soon as I came up with some ideas, I&#39;m like, oh wait, but this one, but that one, but this one. So I had to be, yeah. So I had to be really I I want I gave myself a very, very narrow box to fit this in. I wanted to make sure that these were movies or TV shows that I saw before coming out. Okay. Because there was a lot of things that came to my mind, but I was like, but I was already out of the closet. Um, and also something that for whatever reason made me feel the gayest. And that maybe wasn&#39;t the sexiest movie of the time, but that somehow lit something in me. So I&#39;m very excited about this. Gavin: 7:57 Oh my god. Oh no, it&#39;s pretty superficial. Just wait, just wait. David: 8:00 So anyway, you go first. Gavin: 8:01 Yes, well, okay, so number three on my list, I have to admit, is Top Gun. Because back in the day, that football scene where they&#39;re all just running around with their shirts off playing uh football on the beach. I was like, huh. I wonder I and I I saw it when I was young enough that I didn&#39;t get what was the feelings that I was feeling, but I was like, hmm, I want to be those guys. Or do I want to be inside those guys? I was gonna say do those, but that&#39;s that&#39;s way better. This is why you&#39;re the funny guy. So number two is Clue. Let me tell you why. Definitely no hot torsos in that movie. But there is a moment that Madeline Kahn, and you wouldn&#39;t know this because you haven&#39;t. I&#39;ve never seen it. I know. We should have a movie watch party. Let&#39;s have a live YouTube stream of you watching. Oh, yeah, like a Gatriarch&#39;s viewing party. I love it. Yeah. Which would also be the most boring thing we&#39;ve ever done ever. And you&#39;re gonna think that why does anybody care about this movie? Anyway, Madeline Kahn has this brilliant moment of slapstick comedy where she does her famous flames, flames, I&#39;ve heard I&#39;ve seen that done a million times. Breathing, heaving, breathing, and I knew it was funny on a visceral level that other people around me didn&#39;t get. At a gay icon level. David: 9:17 That&#39;s what it was. Gavin: 9:18 At a gay icon level, I got the movie in a different way than other people did, even than my mom got. And so I knew there was something going on by clue. Number one, from 1985, there is a movie of He-Man. Oh my god. And the way He-Man. David: 9:38 Please tell me it was Skeletor and not He-Man. Because they were both fucking ripped. Every one of them were so muscular. Gavin: 9:45 Tila, uh Cyborg bot dude, Skeletor, and He-Man, all of them with those those chests, those chests. I was at Josh Hanley&#39;s sleepover in 1985, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t think anybody likes this movie quite as much as I do. What about you, David F. M. Bark? David: 10:09 Okay, so um, like I said, these are very personal to me. For whatever reason, these ones stoked the flames. Um, my number three, I think a lot of people my age would think is number one, but now number three, Brad Pitt and Fight Club. When he opened the door wearing those kitchen gloves, shirtless. That&#39;s the like the famous photo from the thing. I remember it it pinging something in my spinal fluid, and I went, what is that feeling? What does that mean? Um number two, borderline embarrassing. Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves. Gavin: 10:42 Oh okay. Okay. David: 10:44 I had the double VHS copy of this, and there&#39;s a scene where like the camera is on a like a dolly or or something, it&#39;s going just past him. Like he&#39;s like bathing in a river, but he&#39;s like kind of behind some reeds, so it&#39;s kind of hard to see, but you definitely see his ass. When I tell you I rewound and played that hundreds of times, I am not joking with you. I was something his ass, I was like, I want that. Gavin: 11:13 Do you think that was pre like the oversexualization, I think, of the entire world? Do you think that Kevin Costner worked on doing more uh squats to have a great ass? Because he knew he was gonna be a good one. David: 11:27 No, I think in those days they just were like, you are hot enough be naked. You&#39;re hot enough, right? Yeah, oof, man. Number two. And number one, there is a scene in the original Foot Loose where Kevin Bacon and Chris Penn, who play uh Ren and Willard, are talking to this actor named John Lachlan, who plays Woody, and they&#39;re in like the showers, and in the background behind them, you see boys going in and out of the showers, and you see naked butts. And there&#39;s one scene where you like almost see a penis, it&#39;s like bush, it&#39;s like it&#39;s penis adjacent. And I re-watched that when I was thinking about this list, and every uh phrase of the dialogue that&#39;s happening is ingrained in my memory because I watched that video over and over and over again because you could see these butts, these like real butts in there. And I want to give a side shout out to John Lachlan, who played uh Woody, which was kind of like one of Willard&#39;s friends or some of the high schooler guys. So magnificently hot, so hot in that like late 80s, early 90s kind of way. Um, he&#39;s still an actor. I looked him up. He&#39;s still like, he&#39;s like doing, you know, the SVUs. I think he&#39;s like he&#39;s in his 60s now, but like he was so super hot. But anyway, that scene, that scene hit me in a way where I was like, oh yeah, I&#39;m I&#39;m a gay person. That&#39;s I want to give a special shout out to Cillian Murphy and 28 Days Later. Now, technically that movie came out in 2002, but the opening scene where he wakes up in the hospital naked, and he&#39;s like, it&#39;s not a sexy scene, like he&#39;s naked in a hospital, he&#39;s not erect, there&#39;s no like sex happening, but ooh, is that a hot man? But that I came out in 2001, so that was a 2002 movie. Yeah, doesn&#39;t it? Gavin: 13:11 Well, well, we can have the before and the after uh closeted versions of uh favorite movies that made us feel a little thundered down under, okay? We can come back to this. Love it. What will we be talking about next time? David: 13:22 So next week, in celebration of Pride, it&#39;s towards the end of the month now. We&#39;re almost at the end of Pride Month right now. And with all the hoopla there is, we are gonna do the top three baby drag names. Love it. Gavin: 13:35 Okay, top three baby drag names. Ooh. We are so lucky to be joined today by my friend Corter Simmons, who is both an actor and a drag queen, which is often cross-pollinated, but is really two separate career paths. So talk about a working girl. Um, his drag name is Cacophony Daniels. You already know her, Cacophani Daniels, but you might not know Corter Simmons. There we go. He performs with a weekly show on Mondays at The Spot, which is at 10th and 43rd, doing musical theater Mondays. And as Corter says, it&#39;s a drag stravaganza. That&#39;s a hard one. SPEAKER_02: 14:10 So it is. Gavin: 14:12 He typed it out. He typed drag stravaganza. I sure did. And and Google Docs...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we talk all things poop, the top 3 movies that made you feel gay as a kid, and the right wing&apos;s most formidable villain Courter Simmons joins us to talk about being a dad who is also a drag queen, and why he voluntarily goes to Staten Isl]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we talk all things poop, the top 3 movies that made you feel gay as a kid, and the right wing&apos;s most formidable villain Courter Simmons joins us to talk about being a dad who is also a drag queen, and why he voluntarily goes to Staten Island.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So sometimes it&#39;s we have to run it longer, sometimes it&#39;s the exact right amount. It&#39;s just whatever. But yeah, I always have to do it from the back. Most of that is most of the things we that I when I&#39;m editing, I have to start from the end to line things up. Are you are you smiling because you&#39;re trying to think of a like a from the back joke? I feel like in your eyes, you&#39;re like, how do I work doing it from the back into a joke? And this is catriarchs. So we&#39;re in the middle of Pride Month, so I figure why don&#39;t we talk about poop? Gavin: 0:43 Absolutely. Absolutely on brand. David: 0:45 I have to, I, I I brought this up because I was like, I have to admit this on our show because it&#39;s important for our listeners to understand that I am also disgusting. Gavin: 0:55 Um if tech wasn&#39;t already completely clear. David: 0:59 So, first of all, in general, my my son is now fully poly potty trained, but for whatever reason, he demands I watch him poop. So whenever he has to poop, he goes, Daddy, I have to poop. And I&#39;m like, Go poop. You know how you do the bath. You go to all the time. And he&#39;s like, come watch me poop. Now there&#39;s no arguing with him because he&#39;ll just poop in his pants unless you watch him. So now I sit on the floor while he sits in the toilet and we have a really great conversation. I don&#39;t know why this is happening. I don&#39;t know why he wants me to watch him poop, but I have to watch him poop right now. But that&#39;s not the story. Gavin: 1:31 Okay, well, I I was gonna say, I wonder if this is universal because I I&#39;ve heard this a lot. And my kids were public poopers as well, um, social poopers. And my my favorite was watching having, in particular, my uh daughter, she would be talking to me very intently about her day, you know, something frivolous and light. And then suddenly she gets that look in her face where she just far off look. The far-off look, and then plop plop. It&#39;s uh oh, I miss those days. I do miss it. David: 2:01 Well, so let&#39;s see if you miss them after this. So I was out with my one-year-old. She&#39;s she&#39;s obviously still on diapers, and we were within a block of the house. So I didn&#39;t bring the bag, I didn&#39;t bring the toy, like the wipes, all the things. We were just gonna kind of play in this neighbor&#39;s yard. It was very sweet. Let us play in our yard. Gavin: 2:19 Yeah. David: 2:19 And somehow we kind of migrated to the far park. And the whole time I was thinking, well, should I bring the bag? I was like, no, it&#39;s fine if she needs a diaper, whatever. Um, well, we&#39;ll just go back to the house. Well, eventually we get really far, and of course, I see the far-off look in her eyes. Oh no. She just gets quiet and she&#39;s like, I&#39;m like, oh fuck. Because I&#39;m like, well, I don&#39;t want to carry her in her own like, you know, I don&#39;t want to squeeze the poop up or whatever, but also I don&#39;t have a diaper on me. So I&#39;m like, well, maybe she wasn&#39;t really pooping. So I look in her diaper, yep, there&#39;s a fucking giant pile of poop. But it is like hard, dry poop. And so I go, huh. And so I take Hannah, my daughter, and I walk her behind some trees, and I pull her little diaper down like halfway, and I just like boop, kind of like the old lady in Titanic throws the heart of the ocean in. I kind of make the same noise. She does the same thing, and I kind of go, boop, and the just little solid brick of poop shoots out, lands behind the tree. I pull her diaper right up and we walk the fuck out of the park. Yes, and so that is me being dad of the year, and now she has a clean diaper, and we can just stroll the way back home. Gavin: 3:38 Oh, I love that story, and everybody had to just say, wow, Gabin, don&#39;t laugh so loudly. But I mean, it&#39;s just it&#39;s it&#39;s survival, yo. David: 3:46 It&#39;s survival, and also I believe you should clean up after your dogs. But listen, when my one-year-old poops in her pants, I&#39;m gonna throw that shit whatever I want. Gavin: 3:53 I mean, one of the conveniences of being a boy slash having a little boy is peeing in public. David: 4:00 My son yesterday was peeing in the front yard, and I said, Emmett, what are you doing? He goes, I had to go. I said, You have to go inside in a toilet. He&#39;s like, but I like peeing in the front yard. So now we are the redneck fucking neighbors with the three-year-old who pisses in the front yard. I mean, my God, never let gaze into your neighborhood. Gavin: 4:18 Well, I I don&#39;t know how many times I would be in public playgrounds in New York City with eyeballs all over the place. And I got to the point where I would say to my kids, just just just don&#39;t even ask. Just go. Just go do it. So, because if you ask me, and I&#39;m having a conversation with this person next to me, I mean, frankly, we&#39;re all in the same boat, right? Like, what parent isn&#39;t gonna be like, God damn it, I don&#39;t want to have to pick up there is not a bathroom here at this playground. I don&#39;t want you to go to the the McDonald&#39;s that&#39;s actually more disgusting than you just peeing behind a bush. Just go pee behind a bush real quick. I mean, I in a city like New York City, you can&#39;t have millions of kids doing that, and yet at the same time, there&#39;s got to be a better solution than having to leave the friggin&#39; playground. But we&#39;re so puritanical about every everything from sex to peeing and pooping. We all do it. David: 4:59 So Kavan, I have pooped and peed in so many public places in New York City. It would I someday, I won&#39;t do it today, but someday I&#39;ll tell you the the story of me peeing on the in train on the way home from a club one day. It was horrific. But like there&#39;s no public bathrooms in New York City, and also there&#39;s something about being a guy and peeing outside that feels really good. Like when you&#39;re camping and you just pee outside, why does it feel so good? So like I don&#39;t blame him for wanting to do that. Um, one thing I wanted to bring up today, too. I had talked a couple episodes, oh no, many episodes ago, about daycare um parties, right? Like when you have a party for your kid and you invite everyone from daycare and they&#39;re so expensive, and these brilliant parents are like splitting the parties, right? So that that was a that was a huge life hack I learned, and I think is really great. Um, I found a new hack that&#39;s even better than that because somebody in my daycare did it, and I think it&#39;s fucking brilliant. So it was uh somebody had posted in the in the daycare group, hey, it&#39;s this girl&#39;s birthday. Um, don&#39;t bring lunch. She&#39;s providing pizza and cake and all these things. And of course, my first thought is like, of course, I&#39;m getting more pizza and cake into my kid. Yeah. My God, around it. I know it. And he comes home with these like goodie bags. You know how like you have to make goodie bags for the kids who come to your party now? Sure. And so he came, uh, he came home and I realized she didn&#39;t have to do a birthday party. SPEAKER_02: 6:28 Oh. David: 6:29 She made daycare her birthday party, and all she had to do was pay for pizzas and cake and goodie bags. And the venue was daycare because all of those same kids would have been the kids who had to go totally to the expensive place. Oh my god, it was such a mind fuck. I was like, that is so brilliant. Not only is the sharing of the birthday brilliant, but the fact that you&#39;re just like, you know what? You&#39;re you&#39;re just gonna be with these kids anyway. So, life hack. So, guess what I meant? On your fourth birthday, daycare party. Gavin: 7:00 Yeah. I mean, the the hey, we&#39;re all just trying to get by, and I think that was genius. Um, it&#39;s too bad that you didn&#39;t think about it and save money on the last birthday, but good. I&#39;m glad you&#39;re gonna take that forward. So um, we are at our top three list. And do you recall the topic this week? David: 7:19 Yes, because I legitimately spent more time thinking about this top three list than anything we&#39;ve had so far because I got so excited. Because as soon as I came up with some ideas, I&#39;m like, oh wait, but this one, but that one, but this one. So I had to be, yeah. So I had to be really I I want I gave myself a very, very narrow box to fit this in. I wanted to make sure that these were movies or TV shows that I saw before coming out. Okay. Because there was a lot of things that came to my mind, but I was like, but I was already out of the closet. Um, and also something that for whatever reason made me feel the gayest. And that maybe wasn&#39;t the sexiest movie of the time, but that somehow lit something in me. So I&#39;m very excited about this. Gavin: 7:57 Oh my god. Oh no, it&#39;s pretty superficial. Just wait, just wait. David: 8:00 So anyway, you go first. Gavin: 8:01 Yes, well, okay, so number three on my list, I have to admit, is Top Gun. Because back in the day, that football scene where they&#39;re all just running around with their shirts off playing uh football on the beach. I was like, huh. I wonder I and I I saw it when I was young enough that I didn&#39;t get what was the feelings that I was feeling, but I was like, hmm, I want to be those guys. Or do I want to be inside those guys? I was gonna say do those, but that&#39;s that&#39;s way better. This is why you&#39;re the funny guy. So number two is Clue. Let me tell you why. Definitely no hot torsos in that movie. But there is a moment that Madeline Kahn, and you wouldn&#39;t know this because you haven&#39;t. I&#39;ve never seen it. I know. We should have a movie watch party. Let&#39;s have a live YouTube stream of you watching. Oh, yeah, like a Gatriarch&#39;s viewing party. I love it. Yeah. Which would also be the most boring thing we&#39;ve ever done ever. And you&#39;re gonna think that why does anybody care about this movie? Anyway, Madeline Kahn has this brilliant moment of slapstick comedy where she does her famous flames, flames, I&#39;ve heard I&#39;ve seen that done a million times. Breathing, heaving, breathing, and I knew it was funny on a visceral level that other people around me didn&#39;t get. At a gay icon level. David: 9:17 That&#39;s what it was. Gavin: 9:18 At a gay icon level, I got the movie in a different way than other people did, even than my mom got. And so I knew there was something going on by clue. Number one, from 1985, there is a movie of He-Man. Oh my god. And the way He-Man. David: 9:38 Please tell me it was Skeletor and not He-Man. Because they were both fucking ripped. Every one of them were so muscular. Gavin: 9:45 Tila, uh Cyborg bot dude, Skeletor, and He-Man, all of them with those those chests, those chests. I was at Josh Hanley&#39;s sleepover in 1985, and I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t think anybody likes this movie quite as much as I do. What about you, David F. M. Bark? David: 10:09 Okay, so um, like I said, these are very personal to me. For whatever reason, these ones stoked the flames. Um, my number three, I think a lot of people my age would think is number one, but now number three, Brad Pitt and Fight Club. When he opened the door wearing those kitchen gloves, shirtless. That&#39;s the like the famous photo from the thing. I remember it it pinging something in my spinal fluid, and I went, what is that feeling? What does that mean? Um number two, borderline embarrassing. Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves. Gavin: 10:42 Oh okay. Okay. David: 10:44 I had the double VHS copy of this, and there&#39;s a scene where like the camera is on a like a dolly or or something, it&#39;s going just past him. Like he&#39;s like bathing in a river, but he&#39;s like kind of behind some reeds, so it&#39;s kind of hard to see, but you definitely see his ass. When I tell you I rewound and played that hundreds of times, I am not joking with you. I was something his ass, I was like, I want that. Gavin: 11:13 Do you think that was pre like the oversexualization, I think, of the entire world? Do you think that Kevin Costner worked on doing more uh squats to have a great ass? Because he knew he was gonna be a good one. David: 11:27 No, I think in those days they just were like, you are hot enough be naked. You&#39;re hot enough, right? Yeah, oof, man. Number two. And number one, there is a scene in the original Foot Loose where Kevin Bacon and Chris Penn, who play uh Ren and Willard, are talking to this actor named John Lachlan, who plays Woody, and they&#39;re in like the showers, and in the background behind them, you see boys going in and out of the showers, and you see naked butts. And there&#39;s one scene where you like almost see a penis, it&#39;s like bush, it&#39;s like it&#39;s penis adjacent. And I re-watched that when I was thinking about this list, and every uh phrase of the dialogue that&#39;s happening is ingrained in my memory because I watched that video over and over and over again because you could see these butts, these like real butts in there. And I want to give a side shout out to John Lachlan, who played uh Woody, which was kind of like one of Willard&#39;s friends or some of the high schooler guys. So magnificently hot, so hot in that like late 80s, early 90s kind of way. Um, he&#39;s still an actor. I looked him up. He&#39;s still like, he&#39;s like doing, you know, the SVUs. I think he&#39;s like he&#39;s in his 60s now, but like he was so super hot. But anyway, that scene, that scene hit me in a way where I was like, oh yeah, I&#39;m I&#39;m a gay person. That&#39;s I want to give a special shout out to Cillian Murphy and 28 Days Later. Now, technically that movie came out in 2002, but the opening scene where he wakes up in the hospital naked, and he&#39;s like, it&#39;s not a sexy scene, like he&#39;s naked in a hospital, he&#39;s not erect, there&#39;s no like sex happening, but ooh, is that a hot man? But that I came out in 2001, so that was a 2002 movie. Yeah, doesn&#39;t it? Gavin: 13:11 Well, well, we can have the before and the after uh closeted versions of uh favorite movies that made us feel a little thundered down under, okay? We can come back to this. Love it. What will we be talking about next time? David: 13:22 So next week, in celebration of Pride, it&#39;s towards the end of the month now. We&#39;re almost at the end of Pride Month right now. And with all the hoopla there is, we are gonna do the top three baby drag names. Love it. Gavin: 13:35 Okay, top three baby drag names. Ooh. We are so lucky to be joined today by my friend Corter Simmons, who is both an actor and a drag queen, which is often cross-pollinated, but is really two separate career paths. So talk about a working girl. Um, his drag name is Cacophony Daniels. You already know her, Cacophani Daniels, but you might not know Corter Simmons. There we go. He performs with a weekly show on Mondays at The Spot, which is at 10th and 43rd, doing musical theater Mondays. And as Corter says, it&#39;s a drag stravaganza. That&#39;s a hard one. SPEAKER_02: 14:10 So it is. Gavin: 14:12 He typed it out. He typed drag stravaganza. I sure did. And and Google Docs...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we talk all things poop, the top 3 movies that made you feel gay as a kid, and the right wing&apos;s most formidable villain Courter Simmons joins us to talk about being a dad who is also a drag queen, and why he voluntarily goes to Staten Island.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So sometimes it&#39;s we have to run it longer, sometimes it&#39;s the exact right amount. It&#39;s just whatever. But yeah, I always have to do it from the back. Most of that is most of the things we that I when I&#39;m editing, I have to start from the end to line things up. Are you are you smiling because you&#39;re trying to think of a like a from the back joke? I feel like in your eyes, you&#39;re like, how do I work doing it from the back into a joke? And this is catriarchs. So we&#39;re in the middle of Pride Month, so I figure why don&#39;t we talk about poop? Gavin: 0:43 Absolutely. Absolutely on brand. David: 0:45 I have to, I, I I brought this up because I was like, I have to admit this on our show because it&#39;s important for our listeners to understand that I am also disgusting. Gavin: 0:55 Um if tech wasn&#39;t already completely clear. David: 0:59 So, first of all, in general, my my son is now fully poly potty trained, but for whatever reason, he demands I watch him poop. So whenever he has to poop, he goes, Daddy, I have to poop. And I&#39;m like, Go poop. You know how you do the bath. You go to all the time. And he&#39;s like, come watch me poop. Now there&#39;s no arguing with him because he&#39;ll just poop in his pants unless you watch him. So now I sit on the floor while he sits in the toilet and we have a really great conversation. I don&#39;t know why this is happening. I don&#39;t know why he wants me to watch him poop, but I have to watch him poop right now. But that&#39;s not the story. Gavin: 1:31 Okay, well, I I was gonna say, I wonder if this is universal because I I&#39;ve heard this a lot. And my kids were public poopers as well, um, social poopers. And my my favorite was watching having, in particular, my uh daughter, she would be talking to me very intently about her day, you know, something frivolous and light. And then suddenly she gets that look in her face where she just far off look. The far-off look, and then plop plop. It&#39;s uh oh, I miss those days. I do miss it. David: 2:01 Well, so let&#39;s see if you miss them after this. So I was out with my one-year-old. She&#39;s she&#39;s obviously still on diapers, and we were within a block of the house. So I didn&#39;t bring the bag, I didn&#39;t bring the toy, like the wipes, all the things. We were just gonna kind of play in this neighbor&#39;s yard. It was very sweet. Let us play in our yard. Gavin: 2:19 Yeah. David: 2:19 And somehow we kind of migrated to the far park. And the whole time I was thinking, well, should I bring the bag? I was like, no, it&#39;s fine if she needs a diaper, whatever. Um, well, we&#39;ll just go back to the house. Well, eventually we get really far, and of course, I see the far-off look in her eyes. Oh no. She just gets quiet and she&#39;s like, I&#39;m like, oh fuck. Because I&#39;m like, well, I don&#39;t want to carry her in her own like, you know, I don&#39;t want to squeeze the poop up or whatever, but also I don&#39;t have a diaper on me. So I&#39;m like, well, maybe she wasn&#39;t really pooping. So I look in her diaper, yep, there&#39;s a fucking giant pile of poop. But it is like hard, dry poop. And so I go, huh. And so I take Hannah, my daughter, and I walk her behind some trees, and I pull her little diaper down like halfway, and I just like boop, kind of like the old lady in Titanic throws the heart of the ocean in. I kind of make the same noise. She does ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we talk all things poop, the top 3 movies that made you feel gay as a kid, and the right wing&apos;s most formidable villain Courter Simmons joins us to talk about being a dad who is also a drag queen, and why he voluntarily goes to Staten Island.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 So sometimes it&#39;s we have to run it longer, sometimes it&#39;s the exact right amount. It&#39;s just whatever. But yeah, I always have to do it from the back. Most of that is most of the things we that I when I&#39;m editing, I have to start from the end to line things up. Are you are you smiling because you&#39;re trying to think of a like a from the back joke? I feel like in your eyes, you&#39;re like, how do I work doing it from the back i]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Danni Venne</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-danni-venne/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we wish everyone but Target a Happy Pride, we try to bridge the gap of missing parts of parenthood while also being elbow-deep in them, and our guest this week is musician and gourd banjo aficionado Danni Venne who talks about being a parent who is trans, and let&apos;s us in on why her kids set an alarm for midnight.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:06 We don&#39;t get any better at this. We don&#39;t get any better at this. Gavin: 0:14 And we just both went for the top. So just as catriarchs. David: 0:31 Happy Pride Gave in. Happy, happy pride, right there. Are you at ya? Are you going to uh Target to get your pride merchandise? Oh wait. Wait. Gavin: 0:41 Target doesn&#39;t have merchandise. Well, listen, I was in Target just two days ago, and they have a huge pride section just in the corner. David: 0:50 They do. I was referring to this Target thing, if you guys haven&#39;t heard. Like Target. So all the fucking idiots on TikTok. All seven of them who just happen to be really loud. That&#39;s what&#39;s so annoying is there&#39;s seven people who&#39;s mad at Target because they somebody took a bathing suit from the adult section and put it in the kids section and then made a video about it of them destroying it. Now, Target released a if you don&#39;t know what we&#39;re talking about, Target basically released a statement saying there&#39;s been these threats at our stores because of our pride merchandise. So we&#39;re gonna have to take some things off the shelf. But Target stands by the queer community, blah, blah, blah, which is of course lies. And listen, we all as gay people knew we knew when corporations started supporting pride that it was a business decision and not a uh one of full support. And we all know just making money. And we all kind of like, we all kind of quietly agreed to that in a way. So I want to put that out there that we all kind of quietly agreed to that. However, Target&#39;s decision to say we still stand by it, however, we&#39;re bowing to these idiots, is only going to further the fucking violence. It&#39;s only going to stoke the flames because what they&#39;re saying, what they&#39;re saying to them is like you&#39;re destroying the pro pride merchandise worked. Yeah. And continue to please do that. So Target, I&#39;m really fucking annoyed with you because I love walking into your store purposely trying to buy bananas and leaving with$150 worth of shit it need. That is part of my white culture that you are taking away from me now because I don&#39;t, I literally thought the other day, I was like, I need to go to Target to get something. And I was like, I don&#39;t want to go there. And I haven&#39;t eaten at Chick-fil-A in 20 fucking years. Yeah. So Target do better. Gavin: 2:31 Yeah, and uh, I was there just a couple of days ago, actually. We uh are not on the boycotting stage, but my daughter was walking through the the Pride area and she was just mesmerized by it all. And I realized that there might have been some things missing. I went to customer service actually to say, hey, have you had to take any of your items away? And they looked at me somewhat blank-faced, which I don&#39;t think was a ruse. I think that they were really like, I&#39;m not actually sure if we have or not. But uh, let&#39;s leave it at that. I&#39;m gonna choose to believe the positivity. But they um my daughter was absolutely loving it. And uh, but she we we left there with, you know,$150 of stuff that I sort of intended to do and sort of did not intend to. And it was my 11-year-old who said to me, Wow, Target is the place where you come in expecting to buy one thing and you leave with$200 worth of it. She finally got it. And she said it got it on her own. She wasn&#39;t even prompted to say that. Now, I&#39;ve probably said it before, but I mean, I uh I agree with you. It is definitely too bad, I think, that there&#39;s some rotten apples spoiling everything for everybody. And uh it would have been really interesting to see them stick up for themselves. Like, frankly, Disney has stood up to Gron DeSantis and actually said, We&#39;re gonna take this fight and we&#39;re not gonna just roll over for you. So it is disappointing. David: 3:41 I uh Because the fact that they bow to that pressure is the most meaningful part of all of this. Because like me getting a overpriced, cheaply made Pride t-shirt up target is not the end all be all. But when a corporation like that visibly says, Yeah, you putting up this fight worked, it just means they&#39;re gonna do it more and it that it&#39;s okay. And so that is that is so frustrating. So I don&#39;t want to live in the dark place because I want to talk about Pride because it&#39;s Pride Month, it&#39;s it&#39;s June 7th today, and it is officially Pride Month, and Pride is happening. Um, we uh our local neighborhood uh has or our local town has a their own pride celebration. It&#39;s the second year they&#39;ve done it. It&#39;s so fun, everyone has a fucking blast. They have like a lot of kids stuff, they have like a you know, bounce house, a lot of vendors. So shout out to Rutherford Pride. I think in a couple weeks we&#39;re gonna have um the um the head of Rutherford Pride on our podcast. But um we&#39;re very uh uh it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a great time. And so that&#39;s typically how we celebrate Pride. We also have an oversized flag. We are not flag people. Our house doesn&#39;t like we don&#39;t always have flags. However, we have an American flag for the you know July 4th holidays, and then we have a pride flag, but we ordered a five by three, like a five foot by three flag. Damn. It is so aggressive. Like we pull up at the end of our block, you can see it for miles, and it&#39;s so there&#39;s this weird like self-consciousness that I have when it&#39;s out, and then part of me is like, this is the point of pride, David. That&#39;s exactly right. This is literally the point of pride. You&#39;re self conscious power. Gavin: 5:09 You&#39;re his self-consciousness is hilarious because you&#39;re just thinking, I mean, it the fact that you&#39;re because I&#39;m so fucking visibly gay, and you have an aggressive pride flag is actually pretty hilarious. But listen, you drive across the middle of rural Ohio and you see those American flags that are a hundred feet by yeah. I mean, we also um are flag people and we have two on the back of our house, we have two different locations where we have flag holders. And you know, a couple of years ago, I am a patriot through and through. I love our country. I th I love um I feel uh fortunate to be an American. And there have been times during the Trump administration that I was I thought if I raise my flag, it feels a little too Trumpy to me to have a. David: 5:52 Yeah, they they took over the flag. Gavin: 5:53 And in part, yeah, they have rebranded the American flag as being um a symbol of, well, the things that I don&#39;t stand for. But when I put it up next to my trans flag, uh trans gay pride flag, I&#39;m I&#39;m uh able to say, look, I am a proud motherfucking gay American. And uh it feels good to have them side by side. David: 6:12 Yes, it&#39;s important to rebrand it that way. We do the same thing where we don&#39;t have two flag holders, but we try to make sure that our American flag comes because it&#39;s Memorial Day, yeah, right before uh pride. And so we try to make sure that everyone, because we want to rebrand it, because it&#39;s the same way. Whenever I see an American flag, my first thought is you are an enemy, you are an uh anti um uh everything, right? You&#39;re a hateful, trumpy kind of thing. And I don&#39;t want that to be. So part of part of I think our job is to kind of rebrand it by like, like you said, putting the trans flag next to the American flag, the gay flag. So anyway, that&#39;s how I&#39;m celebrating pride. Gavin: 6:46 We will be, we will be uh so I live in a very, very rural part of Connecticut where we don&#39;t have celebrations of frankly any kind, so let alone pride, uh, because there&#39;s just uh well, one, it&#39;s Connecticut, so people are antisocial and yeah, the Yankees just like to stick to themselves. But uh there is a small town near us that has their own uh third annual pride parade, and we have been invited by another church actually to march with their church. And I&#39;m like, this is I mean, this is this is progress, y&#39;all. This is progress that a church invited us, and we aren&#39;t even part of their church. Um, I mean, they were totally like, hey, we want some gays to march with us. I&#39;m like, that&#39;s all right, I don&#39;t mind being the token. And uh my kids are actually excited to be in a parade, so it&#39;ll I I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m excited about that. Yeah. So recently, uh a theater near us is Goodspeed Opera House, which is a really well very well-respected theater where uh actors in New York really, I mean, hey, if you&#39;re not on if you&#39;re not already gamefully employed, Goodspeeds is a really good place to work and they put it. And a lot of Broadway shows come out of there. A lot of Broadway shows have come out of there, and it&#39;s uh just a really fun place to work. And very high production quality. Recently, I took my 11-year-old to see Gypsy. And Gypsy is an uh, for those who don&#39;t know, an uh truly an old-fashioned classic musical, although from like the 60s to not from the 30s, but like it&#39;s a it&#39;s old-fashioned, and at the same time, it has a lot of psychological games that are being played as this mother is essentially emotionally abusing her children by pushing them onto the stage to be a child. She&#39;s like a stage mom, yeah. She&#39;s a stage mom. And so there I am. We were sitting in a part of the theater that wasn&#39;t uh we didn&#39;t have good sight lines for the first act. So the second act, uh, my daughter wanted to move, so we moved closer to the stage. And so we have moved to the front of from to the front of the audience where people are the way it&#39;s set up, people are really able to see us. I mean, if I stood up and waved my arms, everybody in the entire theater would see us. And we move there for the second act, which is the the second act is about how a character become goes from basically being a little kid tap dancer to an adult stripper. And there I am sitting there with my daughter, thinking, everybody in the audience is looking at me, thinking, why does this man with on a school night have his little girl at a show that is about a stripper? But the whole time. David: 9:02 At least a drag queen&#39;s not reading her a book. That&#39;s all I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 9:05 Thank God. It&#39;s there are no drag queens. But at the same time, I&#39;m like, this is way more G-rated than anything she probably sees on TikTok on a daily basis. So I was ready for it, but it did, I did feel exposed. It but it uh, you know, and at the at the end of the first act, she said, This is the most boring thing I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life. But I swear to you, she was riveted the entire time, too. And uh, you know, by the end of the show, she was like, I need to go to bed, but that was really good. And I thought, okay, good. I&#39;m glad you got some musical theater history there. David: 9:34 Gays just indoctrinating their kids with musical theater. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:37 What and strippers, they said jam a few times. David: 9:40 Oh my god. See, this is you&#39;re you&#39;re the reason why gays shouldn&#39;t have kids. Um, speaking of, uh, I I wanted to just quickly talk about something we&#39;ve casually mentioned a few times, and I want to know if we can solve this problem. Oh, the idea of when parents of older kids say to parents of younger kids, you&#39;ll miss this, whatever that is. So, like I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, you&#39;ll miss the baby years, you&#39;ll miss the toddler years, you&#39;ll miss the preschool years, you&#39;ll miss, you know, whatever the thing is that you&#39;re complaining about personally, the person above you, you in my case, other people, you&#39;ll miss this. Don&#39;t worry, because because what&#39;s coming, not not just what&#39;s coming down the road is worse, right? Like the oh, the teenage years, but literally, I know, I know it&#39;s hard to have a baby, but you&#39;ll miss those times, right? So I&#39;m wondering, is there a way? How do we as parents fix that? How do we as parents get enough of this in the time to where we won&#39;t feel like we missed that? Does that make sense? Other than what we all want to do, right? Is bottle it, right? We all want to just do the whole like pretend I&#39;m 80 and this I get to come back and listen to this baby crying. Oh, I would so enjoy it. So we want to just bottle that up, but we can&#39;t. So is there a way that we can just enjoy this enough to where we won&#39;t miss this? Gavin: 10:55 I mean, that&#39;s a$64 million question, right? That we&#39;re all wishing away the time because oh, this weekend&#39;s gonna be so much tough, so so much running around or whatever, and I just gotta get through the weekend, or I just gotta get through the holidays. I think about that a lot, and think, why am I wishing away my time? Or I just wish my kid could be a little older so it would be easier. And um, I mean, mindfulness as as as very 2023, roll your eyes uh Instagrammy zen meme about it as it is. Mindfulness is a literally a muscle that we have to exercise and stop and think to ourselves, be in the moment. I mean, I wish I had any semblance of what it means to actually be in the moment. David: 11:35 I I feel like it regret is my my biggest fear when I think about being an old person. Like I don&#39;t want to have regret, like regret or missed out on things. And I think that&#39;s why I think about this a lot is that I don&#39;t want to feel like I missed my chance. But I&#39;m also wondering, will I feel that no matter what? No matter how much time I just enjoy and wrap myself up in the cuddles or the whatever the thing is I&#39;m gonna miss. Is there no amount you can absorb to where you feel satisfied at an older age? I got enough cuddles at three. I got enough, you know what I mean? So I wonder if that&#39;s the solution. I I literally propose this as a question or outline because I don&#39;t know the answer to this, but it&#39;s something we talk about all the time. I&#39;m sure you hear all the time like you&#39;re, you know, you&#39;ll complain about, oh, my preteen this, and somebody says to you, you&#39;re gonna miss this when they move or whatever. And so you&#39;re like, okay, will I ever be able to enjoy enough of this without getting to bottle it up, which we can&#39;t do, other than photos and videos that we take. Gavin: 12:32 I it&#39;s I don&#39;t you&#39;re we&#39;re all struggling with that all the time in multiple aspects of life, especially raising kids, but it&#39;s about being mindful. I don&#39;t know. I know it&#39;s so Pinteresty, I know, and it&#39;s about like oh it it makes me gag too, but there is a lot to be said for actively stopping and being in the moment. And I don&#39;t know. David: 12:53 Yeah, and I will say for me, my my trick, other than the the trick that&#39;s going viral right now, which is pretend you&#39;re 80, is the thing I&#39;ve noticed is that when some when a moment hits me as memorable and unique, and god, this really just like so. This morning, my my son, he we try to limit his sugar and it never fucking works. Oh yeah, you and your he requested like these like strawberry banana Cheerios in the shape of hearts that he saw that I just know are just sugar bumps, and I just said, fuck it, who cares? And so I poured him a bowl of it, and he was so excited,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we wish everyone but Target a Happy Pride, we try to bridge the gap of missing parts of parenthood while also being elbow-deep in them, and our guest this week is musician and gourd banjo aficionado Danni Venne who talks about being a parent w]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we wish everyone but Target a Happy Pride, we try to bridge the gap of missing parts of parenthood while also being elbow-deep in them, and our guest this week is musician and gourd banjo aficionado Danni Venne who talks about being a parent who is trans, and let&apos;s us in on why her kids set an alarm for midnight.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:06 We don&#39;t get any better at this. We don&#39;t get any better at this. Gavin: 0:14 And we just both went for the top. So just as catriarchs. David: 0:31 Happy Pride Gave in. Happy, happy pride, right there. Are you at ya? Are you going to uh Target to get your pride merchandise? Oh wait. Wait. Gavin: 0:41 Target doesn&#39;t have merchandise. Well, listen, I was in Target just two days ago, and they have a huge pride section just in the corner. David: 0:50 They do. I was referring to this Target thing, if you guys haven&#39;t heard. Like Target. So all the fucking idiots on TikTok. All seven of them who just happen to be really loud. That&#39;s what&#39;s so annoying is there&#39;s seven people who&#39;s mad at Target because they somebody took a bathing suit from the adult section and put it in the kids section and then made a video about it of them destroying it. Now, Target released a if you don&#39;t know what we&#39;re talking about, Target basically released a statement saying there&#39;s been these threats at our stores because of our pride merchandise. So we&#39;re gonna have to take some things off the shelf. But Target stands by the queer community, blah, blah, blah, which is of course lies. And listen, we all as gay people knew we knew when corporations started supporting pride that it was a business decision and not a uh one of full support. And we all know just making money. And we all kind of like, we all kind of quietly agreed to that in a way. So I want to put that out there that we all kind of quietly agreed to that. However, Target&#39;s decision to say we still stand by it, however, we&#39;re bowing to these idiots, is only going to further the fucking violence. It&#39;s only going to stoke the flames because what they&#39;re saying, what they&#39;re saying to them is like you&#39;re destroying the pro pride merchandise worked. Yeah. And continue to please do that. So Target, I&#39;m really fucking annoyed with you because I love walking into your store purposely trying to buy bananas and leaving with$150 worth of shit it need. That is part of my white culture that you are taking away from me now because I don&#39;t, I literally thought the other day, I was like, I need to go to Target to get something. And I was like, I don&#39;t want to go there. And I haven&#39;t eaten at Chick-fil-A in 20 fucking years. Yeah. So Target do better. Gavin: 2:31 Yeah, and uh, I was there just a couple of days ago, actually. We uh are not on the boycotting stage, but my daughter was walking through the the Pride area and she was just mesmerized by it all. And I realized that there might have been some things missing. I went to customer service actually to say, hey, have you had to take any of your items away? And they looked at me somewhat blank-faced, which I don&#39;t think was a ruse. I think that they were really like, I&#39;m not actually sure if we have or not. But uh, let&#39;s leave it at that. I&#39;m gonna choose to believe the positivity. But they um my daughter was absolutely loving it. And uh, but she we we left there with, you know,$150 of stuff that I sort of intended to do and sort of did not intend to. And it was my 11-year-old who said to me, Wow, Target is the place where you come in expecting to buy one thing and you leave with$200 worth of it. She finally got it. And she said it got it on her own. She wasn&#39;t even prompted to say that. Now, I&#39;ve probably said it before, but I mean, I uh I agree with you. It is definitely too bad, I think, that there&#39;s some rotten apples spoiling everything for everybody. And uh it would have been really interesting to see them stick up for themselves. Like, frankly, Disney has stood up to Gron DeSantis and actually said, We&#39;re gonna take this fight and we&#39;re not gonna just roll over for you. So it is disappointing. David: 3:41 I uh Because the fact that they bow to that pressure is the most meaningful part of all of this. Because like me getting a overpriced, cheaply made Pride t-shirt up target is not the end all be all. But when a corporation like that visibly says, Yeah, you putting up this fight worked, it just means they&#39;re gonna do it more and it that it&#39;s okay. And so that is that is so frustrating. So I don&#39;t want to live in the dark place because I want to talk about Pride because it&#39;s Pride Month, it&#39;s it&#39;s June 7th today, and it is officially Pride Month, and Pride is happening. Um, we uh our local neighborhood uh has or our local town has a their own pride celebration. It&#39;s the second year they&#39;ve done it. It&#39;s so fun, everyone has a fucking blast. They have like a lot of kids stuff, they have like a you know, bounce house, a lot of vendors. So shout out to Rutherford Pride. I think in a couple weeks we&#39;re gonna have um the um the head of Rutherford Pride on our podcast. But um we&#39;re very uh uh it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a great time. And so that&#39;s typically how we celebrate Pride. We also have an oversized flag. We are not flag people. Our house doesn&#39;t like we don&#39;t always have flags. However, we have an American flag for the you know July 4th holidays, and then we have a pride flag, but we ordered a five by three, like a five foot by three flag. Damn. It is so aggressive. Like we pull up at the end of our block, you can see it for miles, and it&#39;s so there&#39;s this weird like self-consciousness that I have when it&#39;s out, and then part of me is like, this is the point of pride, David. That&#39;s exactly right. This is literally the point of pride. You&#39;re self conscious power. Gavin: 5:09 You&#39;re his self-consciousness is hilarious because you&#39;re just thinking, I mean, it the fact that you&#39;re because I&#39;m so fucking visibly gay, and you have an aggressive pride flag is actually pretty hilarious. But listen, you drive across the middle of rural Ohio and you see those American flags that are a hundred feet by yeah. I mean, we also um are flag people and we have two on the back of our house, we have two different locations where we have flag holders. And you know, a couple of years ago, I am a patriot through and through. I love our country. I th I love um I feel uh fortunate to be an American. And there have been times during the Trump administration that I was I thought if I raise my flag, it feels a little too Trumpy to me to have a. David: 5:52 Yeah, they they took over the flag. Gavin: 5:53 And in part, yeah, they have rebranded the American flag as being um a symbol of, well, the things that I don&#39;t stand for. But when I put it up next to my trans flag, uh trans gay pride flag, I&#39;m I&#39;m uh able to say, look, I am a proud motherfucking gay American. And uh it feels good to have them side by side. David: 6:12 Yes, it&#39;s important to rebrand it that way. We do the same thing where we don&#39;t have two flag holders, but we try to make sure that our American flag comes because it&#39;s Memorial Day, yeah, right before uh pride. And so we try to make sure that everyone, because we want to rebrand it, because it&#39;s the same way. Whenever I see an American flag, my first thought is you are an enemy, you are an uh anti um uh everything, right? You&#39;re a hateful, trumpy kind of thing. And I don&#39;t want that to be. So part of part of I think our job is to kind of rebrand it by like, like you said, putting the trans flag next to the American flag, the gay flag. So anyway, that&#39;s how I&#39;m celebrating pride. Gavin: 6:46 We will be, we will be uh so I live in a very, very rural part of Connecticut where we don&#39;t have celebrations of frankly any kind, so let alone pride, uh, because there&#39;s just uh well, one, it&#39;s Connecticut, so people are antisocial and yeah, the Yankees just like to stick to themselves. But uh there is a small town near us that has their own uh third annual pride parade, and we have been invited by another church actually to march with their church. And I&#39;m like, this is I mean, this is this is progress, y&#39;all. This is progress that a church invited us, and we aren&#39;t even part of their church. Um, I mean, they were totally like, hey, we want some gays to march with us. I&#39;m like, that&#39;s all right, I don&#39;t mind being the token. And uh my kids are actually excited to be in a parade, so it&#39;ll I I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m excited about that. Yeah. So recently, uh a theater near us is Goodspeed Opera House, which is a really well very well-respected theater where uh actors in New York really, I mean, hey, if you&#39;re not on if you&#39;re not already gamefully employed, Goodspeeds is a really good place to work and they put it. And a lot of Broadway shows come out of there. A lot of Broadway shows have come out of there, and it&#39;s uh just a really fun place to work. And very high production quality. Recently, I took my 11-year-old to see Gypsy. And Gypsy is an uh, for those who don&#39;t know, an uh truly an old-fashioned classic musical, although from like the 60s to not from the 30s, but like it&#39;s a it&#39;s old-fashioned, and at the same time, it has a lot of psychological games that are being played as this mother is essentially emotionally abusing her children by pushing them onto the stage to be a child. She&#39;s like a stage mom, yeah. She&#39;s a stage mom. And so there I am. We were sitting in a part of the theater that wasn&#39;t uh we didn&#39;t have good sight lines for the first act. So the second act, uh, my daughter wanted to move, so we moved closer to the stage. And so we have moved to the front of from to the front of the audience where people are the way it&#39;s set up, people are really able to see us. I mean, if I stood up and waved my arms, everybody in the entire theater would see us. And we move there for the second act, which is the the second act is about how a character become goes from basically being a little kid tap dancer to an adult stripper. And there I am sitting there with my daughter, thinking, everybody in the audience is looking at me, thinking, why does this man with on a school night have his little girl at a show that is about a stripper? But the whole time. David: 9:02 At least a drag queen&#39;s not reading her a book. That&#39;s all I&#39;m saying. Gavin: 9:05 Thank God. It&#39;s there are no drag queens. But at the same time, I&#39;m like, this is way more G-rated than anything she probably sees on TikTok on a daily basis. So I was ready for it, but it did, I did feel exposed. It but it uh, you know, and at the at the end of the first act, she said, This is the most boring thing I&#39;ve ever done in my entire life. But I swear to you, she was riveted the entire time, too. And uh, you know, by the end of the show, she was like, I need to go to bed, but that was really good. And I thought, okay, good. I&#39;m glad you got some musical theater history there. David: 9:34 Gays just indoctrinating their kids with musical theater. Oh my god. Gavin: 9:37 What and strippers, they said jam a few times. David: 9:40 Oh my god. See, this is you&#39;re you&#39;re the reason why gays shouldn&#39;t have kids. Um, speaking of, uh, I I wanted to just quickly talk about something we&#39;ve casually mentioned a few times, and I want to know if we can solve this problem. Oh, the idea of when parents of older kids say to parents of younger kids, you&#39;ll miss this, whatever that is. So, like I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, you&#39;ll miss the baby years, you&#39;ll miss the toddler years, you&#39;ll miss the preschool years, you&#39;ll miss, you know, whatever the thing is that you&#39;re complaining about personally, the person above you, you in my case, other people, you&#39;ll miss this. Don&#39;t worry, because because what&#39;s coming, not not just what&#39;s coming down the road is worse, right? Like the oh, the teenage years, but literally, I know, I know it&#39;s hard to have a baby, but you&#39;ll miss those times, right? So I&#39;m wondering, is there a way? How do we as parents fix that? How do we as parents get enough of this in the time to where we won&#39;t feel like we missed that? Does that make sense? Other than what we all want to do, right? Is bottle it, right? We all want to just do the whole like pretend I&#39;m 80 and this I get to come back and listen to this baby crying. Oh, I would so enjoy it. So we want to just bottle that up, but we can&#39;t. So is there a way that we can just enjoy this enough to where we won&#39;t miss this? Gavin: 10:55 I mean, that&#39;s a$64 million question, right? That we&#39;re all wishing away the time because oh, this weekend&#39;s gonna be so much tough, so so much running around or whatever, and I just gotta get through the weekend, or I just gotta get through the holidays. I think about that a lot, and think, why am I wishing away my time? Or I just wish my kid could be a little older so it would be easier. And um, I mean, mindfulness as as as very 2023, roll your eyes uh Instagrammy zen meme about it as it is. Mindfulness is a literally a muscle that we have to exercise and stop and think to ourselves, be in the moment. I mean, I wish I had any semblance of what it means to actually be in the moment. David: 11:35 I I feel like it regret is my my biggest fear when I think about being an old person. Like I don&#39;t want to have regret, like regret or missed out on things. And I think that&#39;s why I think about this a lot is that I don&#39;t want to feel like I missed my chance. But I&#39;m also wondering, will I feel that no matter what? No matter how much time I just enjoy and wrap myself up in the cuddles or the whatever the thing is I&#39;m gonna miss. Is there no amount you can absorb to where you feel satisfied at an older age? I got enough cuddles at three. I got enough, you know what I mean? So I wonder if that&#39;s the solution. I I literally propose this as a question or outline because I don&#39;t know the answer to this, but it&#39;s something we talk about all the time. I&#39;m sure you hear all the time like you&#39;re, you know, you&#39;ll complain about, oh, my preteen this, and somebody says to you, you&#39;re gonna miss this when they move or whatever. And so you&#39;re like, okay, will I ever be able to enjoy enough of this without getting to bottle it up, which we can&#39;t do, other than photos and videos that we take. Gavin: 12:32 I it&#39;s I don&#39;t you&#39;re we&#39;re all struggling with that all the time in multiple aspects of life, especially raising kids, but it&#39;s about being mindful. I don&#39;t know. I know it&#39;s so Pinteresty, I know, and it&#39;s about like oh it it makes me gag too, but there is a lot to be said for actively stopping and being in the moment. And I don&#39;t know. David: 12:53 Yeah, and I will say for me, my my trick, other than the the trick that&#39;s going viral right now, which is pretend you&#39;re 80, is the thing I&#39;ve noticed is that when some when a moment hits me as memorable and unique, and god, this really just like so. This morning, my my son, he we try to limit his sugar and it never fucking works. Oh yeah, you and your he requested like these like strawberry banana Cheerios in the shape of hearts that he saw that I just know are just sugar bumps, and I just said, fuck it, who cares? And so I poured him a bowl of it, and he was so excited,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we wish everyone but Target a Happy Pride, we try to bridge the gap of missing parts of parenthood while also being elbow-deep in them, and our guest this week is musician and gourd banjo aficionado Danni Venne who talks about being a parent who is trans, and let&apos;s us in on why her kids set an alarm for midnight.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:06 We don&#39;t get any better at this. We don&#39;t get any better at this. Gavin: 0:14 And we just both went for the top. So just as catriarchs. David: 0:31 Happy Pride Gave in. Happy, happy pride, right there. Are you at ya? Are you going to uh Target to get your pride merchandise? Oh wait. Wait. Gavin: 0:41 Target doesn&#39;t have merchandise. Well, listen, I was in Target just two days ago, and they have a huge pride section just in the corner. David: 0:50 They do. I was referring to this Target thing, if you guys haven&#39;t heard. Like Target. So all the fucking idiots on TikTok. All seven of them who just happen to be really loud. That&#39;s what&#39;s so annoying is there&#39;s seven people who&#39;s mad at Target because they somebody took a bathing suit from the adult section and put it in the kids section and then made a video about it of them destroying it. Now, Target released a if you don&#39;t know what we&#39;re talking about, Target basically released a statement saying there&#39;s been these threats at our stores because of our pride merchandise. So we&#39;re gonna have to take some things off the shelf. But Target stands by the queer community, blah, blah, blah, which is of course lies. And listen, we all as gay people knew we knew when corporations started supporting pride that it was a business decision and not a uh one of full support. And we all know just making money. And we all kind of like, we all kind of quietly agreed to that in a way. So I want to put that out there that we all kind of quietly agreed to that. However, Target&#39;s decision to say we still stand by it, however, we&#39;re bowing to these idiots, is only going to further the fucking violence. It&#39;s only going to stoke the flames because what they&#39;re saying, what they&#39;re saying to them is like you&#39;re destroying the pro pride merchandise worked. Yeah. And continue to please do that. So Target, I&#39;m really fucking annoyed with you because I love walking into your store purposely trying to buy bananas and leaving with$150 worth of shit it need. That is part of my white culture that you are taking away from me now because I don&#39;t, I literally thought the other day, I was like, I need to go to Target to get something. And I was like, I don&#39;t want to go there. And I haven&#39;t eaten at Chick-fil-A in 20 fucking years. Yeah. So Target do better. Gavin: 2:31 Yeah, and uh, I was there just a couple of days ago, actually. We uh are not on the boycotting stage, but my daughter was walking through the the Pride area and she was just mesmerized by it all. And I realized that there might have been some things missing. I went to customer service actually to say, hey, have you had to take any of your items away? And they looked at me somewhat blank-faced, which I don&#39;t think was a ruse. I think that they were really like, I&#39;m not actually sure if we have or not. But uh, let&#39;s leave it at that. I&#39;m gonna choose to believe the positivity. But they um my daughter was absolutely loving it. And uh, but she we we left there with, you know,$150 of stuff that I sort of intended to do and sort of did not intend to. And it was my 11-year-old who said to me, Wow, Target is the place where you come in expecting to buy one thing and you leave with$200 worth of it. She finally got it. And she said it got it on her ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we wish everyone but Target a Happy Pride, we try to bridge the gap of missing parts of parenthood while also being elbow-deep in them, and our guest this week is musician and gourd banjo aficionado Danni Venne who talks about being a parent who is trans, and let&apos;s us in on why her kids set an alarm for midnight.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:06 We don&#39;t get any better at this. We don&#39;t get any better at this. Gavin: 0:14 And we just both went for the top. So just as catriarchs. David: 0:31 Happy Pride Gave in. Happy, happy pride, right there. Are you at ya? Are you going to uh Target to get your pride merchandise? Oh wait. Wait. Gavin: 0:41 Target doesn&#39;t have merchandise. Well, listen, I was in Target j]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with the Military Dads</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-the-military-dads/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 31 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about the end of patting butts, we rank the top 3 hottest professions, and we are lucky to be joined by twin-girls-Dad&apos;s-to-be James Issac and Will Silva, who tell us their story of finding love in the military, escaping Florida for Brazil, and how they found their surrogate by having their mother scream in a bank. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh shit. Oh. Okay, wait. I actually was going to make a joke about um there was some poop related thing. Fuck! I didn&#39;t write it down. I wrote so many things down for notes to myself. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week, several times, um, I was reminded by my 11-year-old that she is not any longer a three or four-year-old. There have been several times, now don&#39;t take this out of context. Do not, do not, the entire world take this out of context. But there have been a couple of times that, for instance, I was like walking up the stairs after her and wanting her to hurry up, and she was going up to brush her teeth, and I was just patting her butt, you know, like giving a little daddy pat, right? And she&#39;s like, Daddy, stop doing that. I&#39;m not for anymore. And I have to say, you&#39;re gonna see, you don&#39;t get to pat your kids&#39; butts anymore. We used to have this adorable, hilarious, oh God, I hope this doesn&#39;t make me sound like a weirdo. An adorable regimen where at night we would be saying goodnight and we would say prayers, and I would say, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt. And I would just go back and forth, and it made the kids scream with laughter. And uh, I&#39;m not allowed to do it anymore, which is good. I mean, she&#39;s drawing her limits and she&#39;s like being independent and she&#39;s pushing back and whatnot. But there have been many conversations that I&#39;ve had actually a couple years ago when my kids were a bit younger, with some other dads in the um in the hallway waiting for school to start, where we would joke about how, like, I wonder when it&#39;s gonna be inappropriate, but I still like being able to touch my kid&#39;s butt because it&#39;s cute. Butts are cute, you know. David: 1:47 And also it&#39;s just like it&#39;s just part of the kind of parenting experience. You&#39;re holding them by the butt. Like it&#39;s just, yeah, no, totally. There&#39;s a really great um TikTok I saw recently. It was talking about the teenage years and like why teenagers are such fucking assholes during their teenage years. And he was saying, it&#39;s it&#39;s it go, it goes back to like a biological impulse is that when they hit puberty, in order to avoid inbreeding, they would uh leave their families and leave their tribes to go to another tribe in order to not do the inbreeding. And so there was he was he was saying, so instead of like fighting against that, he goes, What they do is that they look at you as parents and think you&#39;re fucking idiots. Yeah. But they don&#39;t think that about all parents. So he was like, What you want to do is you want to surround your kids with other adults that they&#39;ll go to that can reflect the same things like the morals or the structure or whatever that you want to do. Yeah, exactly. So it was it was a really fascinating thing because I know you&#39;re just about to hit the teenagers and I&#39;m far away from that. But I was thinking, yeah, but like it was something, it was a really good thing to think about is like this is happening to them biologically, and a way to kind of help them still guide them is to make sure they&#39;re surrounded by good people and not people like you and I who are horrible people. Gavin: 2:56 Really glad that you uh directly linked my story about patting butts to the word incest. Cool. Yeah, you&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s absolutely true. You&#39;re absolutely it makes perfect sense. There&#39;s nothing abnormal about her pushing back for sure. David: 3:06 But so speaking of abnormal, weird incest, um good. Uh-huh. Yeah. I was I I came, I I came to a realization this week. So we were um we were in public and uh my kids were uh with my husband, I think they were going to the bathroom or something. So I was by myself, it was just me. And another dad walked by with this like three-year-old girl, and she was like doing silly stuff or whatever, and I was looking at the little girl and smiling and like laughing, and I was just thinking about my kid. You know how it is. You&#39;re like in the parenting community. Um, and then I&#39;m like laughing and looking at this little girl, and then I look up to catch the eyes of the dad who&#39;s looking at me and looking at me like, what the fuck are you doing? Oh yes, we&#39;re gonna be able to do that. And that realization that from his perspective, this lonely old 43-year-old man is looking at my daughter, flirting with my daughters smiling and talking to them. And I wanted to be like, no, no, no, no. I have kids too. I&#39;m just we&#39;re in the kids. But it was so funny because I I I always now, you know how it is. Now you I look at kids differently and I think about my kids when I look at their kids, or maybe they&#39;re having a meltdown and I kind of like have a smile to them being like, Oh, I I&#39;ve been there before. But from the other parents&#39; point of view, they just see the strange guy looking at their children. So I was like, okay, that&#39;s that&#39;s something I need to remember when I&#39;m just like staring at another person&#39;s child. It&#39;s like, I look like a creep to them. Gavin: 4:28 Fra I was frantically looking through the underwear section of Walmart last night because my kid, um, my daughter needed a last-minute thing for a spirit date thing. She really wanted a white tutu. And I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know where to find a white tutu. I can let her buy borrow one of mine. I have a couple. Well, if I had only planned ahead of time, I wouldn&#39;t have been a complete failure of a dad. Who was then walking around the preteens section, looking at like behind the bras, through the underwear, being like, where, because they told me to look in the dance section. I&#39;m like, okay, well, basically I&#39;m looking at underwear. Are there any white tutus around? And I and I was I was thoroughly looking, and I thought, man, if these cameras are watching me right now, I must look like such a weirdo. And yet, what a way for us to start this episode. David: 5:12 Isn&#39;t it just creepy, gross things? I swear, we this is really representative of who we are, honestly. Um, let&#39;s just let&#39;s just move on to the top three list. Because listen, it&#39;s it&#39;s getting it&#39;s getting worse. So we might as well. Tell us about this week. Gavin: 5:26 This week I was thinking about who are the professions that turn you on. Tell me what you think are the three hottest professions. With all due respect to all of my friends out there who are, you know, chemists and mathematicians. You are not on the list. Um, but I want to know what you think. So um, number three, I mean, come on, firefighters. Yeah, obviously. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously. It&#39;s so cliche I don&#39;t even need to explain it. Number two, photographers. Because I feel like photographers, male photographers are often very forthright and creative. They often have like funky, floppy hair. David: 6:02 They&#39;ve got that look in their eyes and smolders in their eyes. Gavin: 6:05 They know how to smolder, and you know they have taken so many sexy pictures of other people, and yet they&#39;re just kind of cool about it. So I dig that about uh photographers. And then number one for me, flight attendants. Really? I stare at every single one of them and I&#39;m like, are you in the mile high club? Are you in the mile high club? Are you in the mile high club? David: 6:28 Maybe my my sample of the flight attendants I&#39;ve seen are a little skewed. Gavin: 6:32 But maybe I&#39;m not as superficial as you are, and I don&#39;t think that they need to be like totally hot, marky mark um flight attendants, but there&#39;s just something about the thing. That&#39;s a real modern reference they&#39;re getting. But there&#39;s just something about their oh, I I that goes back to last week&#39;s conversation about the hot murderers, and I was thinking about Mark Wahlberg, that&#39;s what it was. But um, but you know, like, hey, the dudes in uniform and they&#39;re uh, you know, they&#39;re there to serve. And I just wonder, have they all had sex in the bathroom? That&#39;s what it comes down to. Number one, flight attendants. They probably have. David: 7:01 I mean, come on. I I mean, like that that would be them having sex at work, by the way. Um, all right, so my top three lists, uh, top three hottest professions. Uh, number three, lifeguard. But wait. Oh, yeah, very specific kind of lifeguard. The lifeguard at a water park at the top of a slide that tells you when you can and can&#39;t go down. Something about that position in the lifeguarding community, they&#39;re always so sexy, or the one that they&#39;ll like push your tube down. Like they&#39;re the ones who like choose. Yeah. Number three, lifeguard at the top of the slide. All right. Number two, prison guard. Totally. There&#39;s a prison guard. Like it&#39;s a guy who&#39;s a prison guard who brings their kid to my my kid&#39;s daycare. And he it it yeah, super. It&#39;s the uniforms. It&#39;s the uniform. There&#39;s just there&#39;s a there&#39;s a power and a comfortable that is totally um, and and number one, thank you, Jesus, carpenter. A carpenter. There&#39;s something about a carpenter, a uh like a craftsman, even maybe a contractor that is like, and and maybe it&#39;s goes to my carpet guy, the ticket TikTok carpet guy. Yes. But like something about a carpenter, there&#39;s just you need to get those big hands, and yeah, there&#39;s something very sexy about a carpenter. Gavin: 8:12 I I was going to have carpenter on my list, I&#39;m not gonna lie. Nice, but I realized there are so I know in my area where I live, there are so many contractors and so many carpenters. I don&#39;t want them to all think that I lust after them. But you&#39;re welcome, guys. I&#39;m yes, I&#39;m absolutely lusting after all of you on the soccer field, let me tell you. So, what is next week&#39;s um top three list gonna be, David? David: 8:33 All right, so we&#39;re gonna move it back to kids just for a week. And we&#39;ll go back to I know. So next week, our top three list will be top three non-toy toys. So, top three things that kids are obsessed with that are absolutely not toys. Yeah, great. Okay, so our guests this week are two guys that I met on the internet, which to be honest, would describe like half of the men who stumbled through my front door. Um, they are former members of the U.S. military, they&#39;re escapees of living in Florida, which we&#39;re gonna talk about, and they are current residents of Brazil. Uh, they are expecting twin girls any minute, which is insane and exciting. So please give a big Gatriarch&#39;s mouth hug to Will Silva and James Isaac. Hi, guys. Hey guys, um thank you for being here. SPEAKER_01: 9:23 You had to say twin girls. Oh my god. David: 9:25 I know twin girls. Like, do you think you&#39;re ready? SPEAKER_01: 9:29 No, no, who&#39;s who&#39;s ready for that ever? David: 9:32 I&#39;m I actually appreciate you saying that because I think a lot of people before their parents are like, oh no, I&#39;m prepared and I&#39;m ready for this. I&#39;m so excited. But but we really I I like the honesty of like, I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m fucking doing. None of us know what we&#39;re doing. SPEAKER_01: 9:43 No, like I I was, you know, I was recruited to the gay brotherhood in my early 20s. I experimented with vaginas, you know, in my younger years. David: 9:52 That was exactly what I was gonna do. And a drag queen read a book to you and you became gay. Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_01: 9:57 No, no, I became gay like every kid that grew up in the 90s became gay. I saw Chris O&#39;Donnell and Batman and Robin, and that was it. David: 10:06 That is a hundred percent every kid&#39;s story in the 90s. But not until you said that did I realize that&#39;s my story. Yeah, that is so many. I mean, it&#39;s it was that and like the like what was the underwear catalog that was like really slutty? It wasn&#39;t to exist, it was um It was Sears. SPEAKER_01: 10:22 Oh, too. David: 10:24 No, there was the Sears in the JC Penny, but there was like a like a like a really slutty one where like all of the all of the fabric was like see-through a little bit. Gavin: 10:32 I mean to exist was pretty slutty, but there was even more than that. David: 10:36 Yeah, but yes, Chris O&#39;Donnell as oh my god, like that could have just brought me to a place. Gavin: 10:40 And Mark, every single Marky Mark video, um but but Chris O&#39;Donnell&#39;s a really good specificity. I love that. Uh wait, so you um yes, you chose to be gay after seeing Chris O&#39;Donnell, right? SPEAKER_01: 10:50 Well, I mean, I don&#39;t I didn&#39;t have much of a choice. Like, I mean, I guess I could have changed the channel, but I didn&#39;t. Gavin: 10:56 I definitely mean that in jest, just in case my sarcasm doesn&#39;t get come across podcast. But but the fact is, nobody, nobody knows what they&#39;re doing as a parent for the first time. And so you know that. So are you nervous excited or just excited? And how are you feeling your time knowing that you will have no more time ever for the rest of your life? It&#39;s starting in just a few weeks. SPEAKER_01: 11:16 So like finding out, well, finding out initially that we had twins, there was like the initial terror, like, oh shit, there&#39;s two of them. Like before we outnumbered them. So like when it was us against the baby, you know, we could still probably win. Yeah. Um, but now there&#39;s two of them, they can divide and conquer. Uh so and they will. And they will, yeah. It&#39;s like, you know. Um but yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s excited, but it&#39;s scared. Yeah. Gavin: 11:43 Are you filling your time by um fretting and shopping, or are you just like going out to dinner and watching a bunch of porn and hanging out and just enjoying your time without kids? David: 11:54 And cruising the beach and cruising. And eating cookies, which I saw Will doing the other day. SPEAKER_03: 11:58 Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So um I I mean, we&#39;ve been kind of like trying to mix and match. We&#39;re trying to be responsible and like getting things prepared, like painting and getting like we have a crib and we have all these diapers and a bunch of stuff because you know, we don&#39;t know what we&#39;re gonna really need. And so we&#39;re trying to get as much as we can that&#39;s reasonable. But at the same time, we&#39;re like, okay, look, we got like this many days left, so like we went to the US for a month and we&#39;re going to the beach all the time, we&#39;re going to some, you know, gay places that I won&#39;t. Yep, yep. Some gay venues. Yes. David: 12:35 And and listen, I&#39;m sure people have told you this before, but take the stress away of the stuff. If you have diapers, bottles, and wipes, that is the end of that. Is uh honestly for the first couple of months, that&#39;s all you need. Many of the things you you&#39;ll you&#39;ll you&#39;ll be fine with, but like those are your three, that&#39;s like the holidainity. Right now, after that, everything else is just like paint and fun and stuff, Instagram stuff. Yeah, those are the three things that we use all the time daily. Um, but uh yeah, it it is it is an ex it&#39;s exciting for me to kind of live vicariously through you because there is something so exciting about this impending thing that&#39;s arriving that you have no real control over. Like they are gonna come when they fucking please. Exactly. And when they do, they&#39;ll be like, I&#39;m here, bitch, wipe my ass. And and that that is the adventure you guys have. And you&#39;ll be like, I&#39;ve heard that before. But anyways. But so I I so I jokingly said we met on the internet, but we literally met on...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we talk about the end of patting butts, we rank the top 3 hottest professions, and we are lucky to be joined by twin-girls-Dad&apos;s-to-be James Issac and Will Silva, who tell us their story of finding love in the military, escaping Florida f]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we talk about the end of patting butts, we rank the top 3 hottest professions, and we are lucky to be joined by twin-girls-Dad&apos;s-to-be James Issac and Will Silva, who tell us their story of finding love in the military, escaping Florida for Brazil, and how they found their surrogate by having their mother scream in a bank. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh shit. Oh. Okay, wait. I actually was going to make a joke about um there was some poop related thing. Fuck! I didn&#39;t write it down. I wrote so many things down for notes to myself. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week, several times, um, I was reminded by my 11-year-old that she is not any longer a three or four-year-old. There have been several times, now don&#39;t take this out of context. Do not, do not, the entire world take this out of context. But there have been a couple of times that, for instance, I was like walking up the stairs after her and wanting her to hurry up, and she was going up to brush her teeth, and I was just patting her butt, you know, like giving a little daddy pat, right? And she&#39;s like, Daddy, stop doing that. I&#39;m not for anymore. And I have to say, you&#39;re gonna see, you don&#39;t get to pat your kids&#39; butts anymore. We used to have this adorable, hilarious, oh God, I hope this doesn&#39;t make me sound like a weirdo. An adorable regimen where at night we would be saying goodnight and we would say prayers, and I would say, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt. And I would just go back and forth, and it made the kids scream with laughter. And uh, I&#39;m not allowed to do it anymore, which is good. I mean, she&#39;s drawing her limits and she&#39;s like being independent and she&#39;s pushing back and whatnot. But there have been many conversations that I&#39;ve had actually a couple years ago when my kids were a bit younger, with some other dads in the um in the hallway waiting for school to start, where we would joke about how, like, I wonder when it&#39;s gonna be inappropriate, but I still like being able to touch my kid&#39;s butt because it&#39;s cute. Butts are cute, you know. David: 1:47 And also it&#39;s just like it&#39;s just part of the kind of parenting experience. You&#39;re holding them by the butt. Like it&#39;s just, yeah, no, totally. There&#39;s a really great um TikTok I saw recently. It was talking about the teenage years and like why teenagers are such fucking assholes during their teenage years. And he was saying, it&#39;s it&#39;s it go, it goes back to like a biological impulse is that when they hit puberty, in order to avoid inbreeding, they would uh leave their families and leave their tribes to go to another tribe in order to not do the inbreeding. And so there was he was he was saying, so instead of like fighting against that, he goes, What they do is that they look at you as parents and think you&#39;re fucking idiots. Yeah. But they don&#39;t think that about all parents. So he was like, What you want to do is you want to surround your kids with other adults that they&#39;ll go to that can reflect the same things like the morals or the structure or whatever that you want to do. Yeah, exactly. So it was it was a really fascinating thing because I know you&#39;re just about to hit the teenagers and I&#39;m far away from that. But I was thinking, yeah, but like it was something, it was a really good thing to think about is like this is happening to them biologically, and a way to kind of help them still guide them is to make sure they&#39;re surrounded by good people and not people like you and I who are horrible people. Gavin: 2:56 Really glad that you uh directly linked my story about patting butts to the word incest. Cool. Yeah, you&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s absolutely true. You&#39;re absolutely it makes perfect sense. There&#39;s nothing abnormal about her pushing back for sure. David: 3:06 But so speaking of abnormal, weird incest, um good. Uh-huh. Yeah. I was I I came, I I came to a realization this week. So we were um we were in public and uh my kids were uh with my husband, I think they were going to the bathroom or something. So I was by myself, it was just me. And another dad walked by with this like three-year-old girl, and she was like doing silly stuff or whatever, and I was looking at the little girl and smiling and like laughing, and I was just thinking about my kid. You know how it is. You&#39;re like in the parenting community. Um, and then I&#39;m like laughing and looking at this little girl, and then I look up to catch the eyes of the dad who&#39;s looking at me and looking at me like, what the fuck are you doing? Oh yes, we&#39;re gonna be able to do that. And that realization that from his perspective, this lonely old 43-year-old man is looking at my daughter, flirting with my daughters smiling and talking to them. And I wanted to be like, no, no, no, no. I have kids too. I&#39;m just we&#39;re in the kids. But it was so funny because I I I always now, you know how it is. Now you I look at kids differently and I think about my kids when I look at their kids, or maybe they&#39;re having a meltdown and I kind of like have a smile to them being like, Oh, I I&#39;ve been there before. But from the other parents&#39; point of view, they just see the strange guy looking at their children. So I was like, okay, that&#39;s that&#39;s something I need to remember when I&#39;m just like staring at another person&#39;s child. It&#39;s like, I look like a creep to them. Gavin: 4:28 Fra I was frantically looking through the underwear section of Walmart last night because my kid, um, my daughter needed a last-minute thing for a spirit date thing. She really wanted a white tutu. And I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know where to find a white tutu. I can let her buy borrow one of mine. I have a couple. Well, if I had only planned ahead of time, I wouldn&#39;t have been a complete failure of a dad. Who was then walking around the preteens section, looking at like behind the bras, through the underwear, being like, where, because they told me to look in the dance section. I&#39;m like, okay, well, basically I&#39;m looking at underwear. Are there any white tutus around? And I and I was I was thoroughly looking, and I thought, man, if these cameras are watching me right now, I must look like such a weirdo. And yet, what a way for us to start this episode. David: 5:12 Isn&#39;t it just creepy, gross things? I swear, we this is really representative of who we are, honestly. Um, let&#39;s just let&#39;s just move on to the top three list. Because listen, it&#39;s it&#39;s getting it&#39;s getting worse. So we might as well. Tell us about this week. Gavin: 5:26 This week I was thinking about who are the professions that turn you on. Tell me what you think are the three hottest professions. With all due respect to all of my friends out there who are, you know, chemists and mathematicians. You are not on the list. Um, but I want to know what you think. So um, number three, I mean, come on, firefighters. Yeah, obviously. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously. It&#39;s so cliche I don&#39;t even need to explain it. Number two, photographers. Because I feel like photographers, male photographers are often very forthright and creative. They often have like funky, floppy hair. David: 6:02 They&#39;ve got that look in their eyes and smolders in their eyes. Gavin: 6:05 They know how to smolder, and you know they have taken so many sexy pictures of other people, and yet they&#39;re just kind of cool about it. So I dig that about uh photographers. And then number one for me, flight attendants. Really? I stare at every single one of them and I&#39;m like, are you in the mile high club? Are you in the mile high club? Are you in the mile high club? David: 6:28 Maybe my my sample of the flight attendants I&#39;ve seen are a little skewed. Gavin: 6:32 But maybe I&#39;m not as superficial as you are, and I don&#39;t think that they need to be like totally hot, marky mark um flight attendants, but there&#39;s just something about the thing. That&#39;s a real modern reference they&#39;re getting. But there&#39;s just something about their oh, I I that goes back to last week&#39;s conversation about the hot murderers, and I was thinking about Mark Wahlberg, that&#39;s what it was. But um, but you know, like, hey, the dudes in uniform and they&#39;re uh, you know, they&#39;re there to serve. And I just wonder, have they all had sex in the bathroom? That&#39;s what it comes down to. Number one, flight attendants. They probably have. David: 7:01 I mean, come on. I I mean, like that that would be them having sex at work, by the way. Um, all right, so my top three lists, uh, top three hottest professions. Uh, number three, lifeguard. But wait. Oh, yeah, very specific kind of lifeguard. The lifeguard at a water park at the top of a slide that tells you when you can and can&#39;t go down. Something about that position in the lifeguarding community, they&#39;re always so sexy, or the one that they&#39;ll like push your tube down. Like they&#39;re the ones who like choose. Yeah. Number three, lifeguard at the top of the slide. All right. Number two, prison guard. Totally. There&#39;s a prison guard. Like it&#39;s a guy who&#39;s a prison guard who brings their kid to my my kid&#39;s daycare. And he it it yeah, super. It&#39;s the uniforms. It&#39;s the uniform. There&#39;s just there&#39;s a there&#39;s a power and a comfortable that is totally um, and and number one, thank you, Jesus, carpenter. A carpenter. There&#39;s something about a carpenter, a uh like a craftsman, even maybe a contractor that is like, and and maybe it&#39;s goes to my carpet guy, the ticket TikTok carpet guy. Yes. But like something about a carpenter, there&#39;s just you need to get those big hands, and yeah, there&#39;s something very sexy about a carpenter. Gavin: 8:12 I I was going to have carpenter on my list, I&#39;m not gonna lie. Nice, but I realized there are so I know in my area where I live, there are so many contractors and so many carpenters. I don&#39;t want them to all think that I lust after them. But you&#39;re welcome, guys. I&#39;m yes, I&#39;m absolutely lusting after all of you on the soccer field, let me tell you. So, what is next week&#39;s um top three list gonna be, David? David: 8:33 All right, so we&#39;re gonna move it back to kids just for a week. And we&#39;ll go back to I know. So next week, our top three list will be top three non-toy toys. So, top three things that kids are obsessed with that are absolutely not toys. Yeah, great. Okay, so our guests this week are two guys that I met on the internet, which to be honest, would describe like half of the men who stumbled through my front door. Um, they are former members of the U.S. military, they&#39;re escapees of living in Florida, which we&#39;re gonna talk about, and they are current residents of Brazil. Uh, they are expecting twin girls any minute, which is insane and exciting. So please give a big Gatriarch&#39;s mouth hug to Will Silva and James Isaac. Hi, guys. Hey guys, um thank you for being here. SPEAKER_01: 9:23 You had to say twin girls. Oh my god. David: 9:25 I know twin girls. Like, do you think you&#39;re ready? SPEAKER_01: 9:29 No, no, who&#39;s who&#39;s ready for that ever? David: 9:32 I&#39;m I actually appreciate you saying that because I think a lot of people before their parents are like, oh no, I&#39;m prepared and I&#39;m ready for this. I&#39;m so excited. But but we really I I like the honesty of like, I don&#39;t know what I&#39;m fucking doing. None of us know what we&#39;re doing. SPEAKER_01: 9:43 No, like I I was, you know, I was recruited to the gay brotherhood in my early 20s. I experimented with vaginas, you know, in my younger years. David: 9:52 That was exactly what I was gonna do. And a drag queen read a book to you and you became gay. Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_01: 9:57 No, no, I became gay like every kid that grew up in the 90s became gay. I saw Chris O&#39;Donnell and Batman and Robin, and that was it. David: 10:06 That is a hundred percent every kid&#39;s story in the 90s. But not until you said that did I realize that&#39;s my story. Yeah, that is so many. I mean, it&#39;s it was that and like the like what was the underwear catalog that was like really slutty? It wasn&#39;t to exist, it was um It was Sears. SPEAKER_01: 10:22 Oh, too. David: 10:24 No, there was the Sears in the JC Penny, but there was like a like a like a really slutty one where like all of the all of the fabric was like see-through a little bit. Gavin: 10:32 I mean to exist was pretty slutty, but there was even more than that. David: 10:36 Yeah, but yes, Chris O&#39;Donnell as oh my god, like that could have just brought me to a place. Gavin: 10:40 And Mark, every single Marky Mark video, um but but Chris O&#39;Donnell&#39;s a really good specificity. I love that. Uh wait, so you um yes, you chose to be gay after seeing Chris O&#39;Donnell, right? SPEAKER_01: 10:50 Well, I mean, I don&#39;t I didn&#39;t have much of a choice. Like, I mean, I guess I could have changed the channel, but I didn&#39;t. Gavin: 10:56 I definitely mean that in jest, just in case my sarcasm doesn&#39;t get come across podcast. But but the fact is, nobody, nobody knows what they&#39;re doing as a parent for the first time. And so you know that. So are you nervous excited or just excited? And how are you feeling your time knowing that you will have no more time ever for the rest of your life? It&#39;s starting in just a few weeks. SPEAKER_01: 11:16 So like finding out, well, finding out initially that we had twins, there was like the initial terror, like, oh shit, there&#39;s two of them. Like before we outnumbered them. So like when it was us against the baby, you know, we could still probably win. Yeah. Um, but now there&#39;s two of them, they can divide and conquer. Uh so and they will. And they will, yeah. It&#39;s like, you know. Um but yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s excited, but it&#39;s scared. Yeah. Gavin: 11:43 Are you filling your time by um fretting and shopping, or are you just like going out to dinner and watching a bunch of porn and hanging out and just enjoying your time without kids? David: 11:54 And cruising the beach and cruising. And eating cookies, which I saw Will doing the other day. SPEAKER_03: 11:58 Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So um I I mean, we&#39;ve been kind of like trying to mix and match. We&#39;re trying to be responsible and like getting things prepared, like painting and getting like we have a crib and we have all these diapers and a bunch of stuff because you know, we don&#39;t know what we&#39;re gonna really need. And so we&#39;re trying to get as much as we can that&#39;s reasonable. But at the same time, we&#39;re like, okay, look, we got like this many days left, so like we went to the US for a month and we&#39;re going to the beach all the time, we&#39;re going to some, you know, gay places that I won&#39;t. Yep, yep. Some gay venues. Yes. David: 12:35 And and listen, I&#39;m sure people have told you this before, but take the stress away of the stuff. If you have diapers, bottles, and wipes, that is the end of that. Is uh honestly for the first couple of months, that&#39;s all you need. Many of the things you you&#39;ll you&#39;ll you&#39;ll be fine with, but like those are your three, that&#39;s like the holidainity. Right now, after that, everything else is just like paint and fun and stuff, Instagram stuff. Yeah, those are the three things that we use all the time daily. Um, but uh yeah, it it is it is an ex it&#39;s exciting for me to kind of live vicariously through you because there is something so exciting about this impending thing that&#39;s arriving that you have no real control over. Like they are gonna come when they fucking please. Exactly. And when they do, they&#39;ll be like, I&#39;m here, bitch, wipe my ass. And and that that is the adventure you guys have. And you&#39;ll be like, I&#39;ve heard that before. But anyways. But so I I so I jokingly said we met on the internet, but we literally met on...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we talk about the end of patting butts, we rank the top 3 hottest professions, and we are lucky to be joined by twin-girls-Dad&apos;s-to-be James Issac and Will Silva, who tell us their story of finding love in the military, escaping Florida for Brazil, and how they found their surrogate by having their mother scream in a bank. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh shit. Oh. Okay, wait. I actually was going to make a joke about um there was some poop related thing. Fuck! I didn&#39;t write it down. I wrote so many things down for notes to myself. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week, several times, um, I was reminded by my 11-year-old that she is not any longer a three or four-year-old. There have been several times, now don&#39;t take this out of context. Do not, do not, the entire world take this out of context. But there have been a couple of times that, for instance, I was like walking up the stairs after her and wanting her to hurry up, and she was going up to brush her teeth, and I was just patting her butt, you know, like giving a little daddy pat, right? And she&#39;s like, Daddy, stop doing that. I&#39;m not for anymore. And I have to say, you&#39;re gonna see, you don&#39;t get to pat your kids&#39; butts anymore. We used to have this adorable, hilarious, oh God, I hope this doesn&#39;t make me sound like a weirdo. An adorable regimen where at night we would be saying goodnight and we would say prayers, and I would say, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt cheek, and bless this little butt. And I would just go back and forth, and it made the kids scream with laughter. And uh, I&#39;m not allowed to do it anymore, which is good. I mean, she&#39;s drawing her limits and she&#39;s like being independent and she&#39;s pushing back and whatnot. But there have been many conversations that I&#39;ve had actually a couple years ago when my kids were a bit younger, with some other dads in the um in the hallway waiting for school to start, where we would joke about how, like, I wonder when it&#39;s gonna be inappropriate, but I still like being able to touch my kid&#39;s butt because it&#39;s cute. Butts are cute, you know. David: 1:47 And also it&#39;s just like it&#39;s just part of the kind of parenting experience. You&#39;re holding them by the butt. Like it&#39;s just, yeah, no, totally. There&#39;s a really great um TikTok I saw recently. It was talking about the teenage years and like why teenagers are such fucking assholes during their teenage years. And he was saying, it&#39;s it&#39;s it go, it goes back to like a biological impulse is that when they hit puberty, in order to avoid inbreeding, they would uh leave their families and leave their tribes to go to another tribe in order to not do the inbreeding. And so there was he was he was saying, so instead of like fighting against that, he goes, What they do is that they look at you as parents and think you&#39;re fucking idiots. Yeah. But they don&#39;t think that about all parents. So he was like, What you want to do is you want to surround your kids with other adults that they&#39;ll go to that can reflect the same things like the morals or the structure or whatever that you want to do. Yeah, exactly. So it was it was a really fascinating thing because I know you&#39;re just about to hit the teenagers and I&#39;m far away from that. But I was thinking, yeah, but like it was something, it was a really good thing to think about is like this is happening to them biologically, and a way to kind of help them still guide them is to make sure they&#39;re surrounded by good people and not people like you and I who are horrible people. Gavin: 2:56 Really glad that you uh directly linked my ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about the end of patting butts, we rank the top 3 hottest professions, and we are lucky to be joined by twin-girls-Dad&apos;s-to-be James Issac and Will Silva, who tell us their story of finding love in the military, escaping Florida for Brazil, and how they found their surrogate by having their mother scream in a bank. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh shit. Oh. Okay, wait. I actually was going to make a joke about um there was some poop related thing. Fuck! I didn&#39;t write it down. I wrote so many things down for notes to myself. And this is Gatriarchs. So this week, several times, um, I was reminded by my 11-year-old that she is not any longer a three or four-year-old. There have been several times, now don]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Nick Blaemire</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-nick-blaemire/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 24 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12885789</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week&apos;s episode starts out with new information about what can happen to your butt,  Gavin feels entitled to talk about entitlement, and our multi-hyphenate guest Nick Blaemire joins us to talk about life as an artist after having a kid, and reads David over the course of their 22 year friendship.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, I went and worked for the Gore campaign in nineteen in 2000 and I don&#39;t work on it, but it&#39;s the same business. Fuck off. And this is day three architect. David: 0:24 So my son for a couple of weeks has been itching his butt in a way where I keep saying to him, Hey, like, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, My butt itches. I&#39;m like, Do you want diaper cream? He&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s for babies. I&#39;m like, well, let me look at your butt. He&#39;s like, no. So I&#39;m like, fine, whatever. So this is how it goes for a couple of weeks. So finally, one night in the middle of the night, Emmett comes to our room and he&#39;s crying. He&#39;s like, my butt hurts so bad. And I&#39;m like, what is going on with your butt? So I like, I like, I there&#39;s nothing on his butt, but he&#39;s like scratching it. So I like send him to bed, he goes back to sleep. And in the morning, I&#39;m like, I need to Google this. So I Google this, and Google tells me, oh, your son probably has worms in his butthole. And what those are are little white filamented-looking things sticking out of his butthole that wiggle and move. And the internet tells me I need to get a flashlight, peel open his butt, and look at it at night and see if I can see worms coming out of my son&#39;s butthole. And and that is when I said I&#39;m done with parenting. I&#39;m that&#39;s it. I&#39;m I&#39;ve reached the limit of what I&#39;m capable of doing. And it is not to stare at my my three-year-old&#39;s butthole in the middle of the night with a flashlight to see if I could see wiggling worms coming out of it. Gavin: 1:52 Listen, David, you have been looking. I th I I really think I know that you hang on every word and every um reaction I give you. And I think that you were waiting for me to be surprised by anything that you just said. David: 2:03 Just wait. Just wait, Gavin. Just wait. So the next day, I&#39;m like, we&#39;re going to urgent care, we&#39;re going to the, you know, the doctor. There&#39;s no way I&#39;m gonna, because this is of course this is Sunday. By the way, my kid only gets sick on Sundays when the pediatrician is not open. Only day of the week. Anyway. Of course. So the morning we before we go to the pediatrician, I&#39;m like, let me look at your butt. And I notice above his butt hole, excuse me for being crass, is like a little red sore. Like it looks like a sore. And I&#39;m like, oh, that must be what he&#39;s scratching. I wonder if he like cut it, it&#39;s a cut, it&#39;s something. So we go to the pediatrician and we say, Hey, this is what&#39;s been happening. He&#39;s been very itchy, he has this little sore above his butt. And the first words out of her mouth was, that&#39;s probably strep. I said, like strep throat. She said, Yeah. But strep butt. She said, If you&#39;re if you put your fingers in your mouth, which my my son is a finger sucker, if you put your fingers in your mouth and then you scratch your butt, you can get strep throat of your butthole. So she took a strep test and like did it over the area and it was positive, Gavin. My son had strep of the butthole. Gavin: 3:19 That I did not know. So I did not know that either. David: 3:22 Now, obviously, you can put the pieces together. What happened? Now everyone in the house has strep throat. One of us has a strep butthole. Gavin: 3:32 Wait, does he have strep throat then? David: 3:34 So what had happened was he had strep throat, he got us all sick, but he was like scratching his butt with his streppy fingers and created this like little thing. Yes. And luckily, the the the doctor was super nice super nice, and she was like, Oh yeah, this is so common. And I was like, I&#39;m 43. I have never heard of this in my entire life. Gavin: 3:52 Neither have I. I&#39;m way younger than you are, and I have never and I have just you wait. I I have older kids. I&#39;ve never heard of strep butt. David: 4:02 Strep butt, yeah. And guess what? It&#39;s coming for you. So, anyway, so that was my week, which was really exciting. And then I just my last part of my little bit of rant, um, and we&#39;re we&#39;re beyond buttholes now for those of you who have been holding your breath. Um, is that so we so I got antibiotics, everyone like the adults in the audit in the house got antibiotics and their little pills, like we&#39;ve done that before. And the kids get like a liquid, right? And and so what really fucking pisses me off is that so my daughter, who&#39;s one, has this, my son has it, um, and you know, let&#39;s say it&#39;s five milligrams per time you get it, right? And they&#39;re like, take it, let&#39;s say 10 times. I&#39;m just doing really rough math. So that&#39;s a total of 50 milliliters. The prescription will be for like 50 or 55 milliliters. I&#39;m like, you motherfuckers have never had to give a child medicine, which they especially the baby, will spit out or she&#39;ll block her mouth or whatever. I need backup to have to do refills to give her the five milliliters two times. So, all of those doctors out there, when you&#39;re prescribing a liquid medicine for somebody under the age of four, can you give us a little bit of fucking wiggle room so I can give my son the medicine he needs to cure his streppy butthole? Gavin: 5:17 I&#39;m glad that you&#39;ve gotten back into parenting um with the strep buttons, and but the pinworms, I&#39;m telling you, it uh I a friend of mine uh told me a couple of years ago it went through her entire family. Oh, God mom, dad, three children. They went to the doctor. It was actually an easy treatment. It wasn&#39;t that big a deal. There were it wasn&#39;t flashlights in the middle of the night, uh, luckily. But she said that the doctor said, Listen, I&#39;m glad you&#39;ve got this. Because this is science. This is what human beings are supposed to be. We&#39;re not supposed to be walking around completely sanitized, because if we do, strep is going to kill us. So luckily, strep hasn&#39;t killed you and your family. But the fact is, no, nobody wants to have white worms in their butts by any stretch of the imagination. David: 6:02 The idea of feeling a wiggling worm in my butthole makes me want to walk into traffic. Like, I cannot explain to you. The idea of like the the uh crawling out, crawling out, little TV things, crawling out. I&#39;m done. You&#39;re done with parenting. I&#39;m done with parenting. It&#39;s it. I can&#39;t do it anymore. So anyway, that was my week, Gavin. How was your week? Gavin: 6:27 Well, okay, I you&#39;re hopefully you&#39;re not gonna hear me talk about this too much because everybody&#39;s gonna get really sick of it. But I am solo dadding right now, um, which is great because my partner is super, super lucky. He is a musical composer and he gets to he gets to fly to London for a month to work on a show, which is awesome. And um, but we&#39;ve done this before, but it&#39;s a lot of work. And the last time we did it, my kids, all I had to do was basically keep them alive and fed because they were much, much, much younger. And now I have to like monitor homework and I have to deal with social um issues going on at middle school and whatnot. And it&#39;s um, I, you know, it is what it is. I I all hats off, of course, to anybody who&#39;s doing this um single-handedly because it is tough. So anyway, but um also all I ever hear is complaints from my kids, also. There nothing&#39;s ever good enough, nothing&#39;s ever hot enough or cold enough or tasty enough, or sweet enough, or whatever. And so once again, I found myself last night as my kid was saying to me, I wish we lived in that house, I wish we lived in that house, I wish we lived in that house, and I had had it. And I&#39;m like, when is it gonna be enough that what we have is all that we need, and we don&#39;t need want more, we don&#39;t have to have more. And we live in a world where rights are being taken away from gay parents and trans kids, and like all my kid wants to do is be on TikTok all the time. And I&#39;m like, and meanwhile, can you just pick up the wet towels off your floor? And um, so you know, I am it&#39;s it feels to me that there&#39;s a lot of tension in our house, and I think my younger kid is like, can you and can you stop fighting with my sister, please? And I&#39;m like, oh geez, now it&#39;s coming. The advice for my little kid is that I am fighting too much. But um, you know, it is uh it it just it it doesn&#39;t let up. And I&#39;m like, but how do you teach your kids to pick up the towels off the floor if you&#39;re not like nagging after them the entire time? Anyway, there&#39;s a lot of nagging going on, but you know what? We do always uh say goodnight on very good terms. So it&#39;s it&#39;s not a failure, but I am uh it&#39;s it&#39;s a lot. It&#39;s all a lot. Never go to bed angry. Yeah. Uh uh, do you ever go to bed angry? Do your kids, do you and your husband ever go to bed angry? David: 8:35 No, we&#39;re we don&#39;t really, we&#39;re not really fighters, but but my there are I have to oh I have to override the caveman part of my brain that would like my son or really my son is being an asshole before bed, that I don&#39;t just say find like the beast from being the beast, then starve and like slam the door. Like that&#39;s all I want to do. And I have never done that because a my husband is a better person than I am, so he always like chooses the high road, and I always feel guilty that I don&#39;t. But also, like you I do I have to manufacture a part of my brain that like the other day we were leaving daycare, he was being a total fucking asshole, and we were in the hallway, and I felt myself going to the point of like I&#39;m gonna pick him up, throw him in the car, and let him scream the whole. I was just like so angry. And what I did was I just stopped. We were in the middle of the hallway on like where two stairways meet. And I said, Emmet, let&#39;s you and I reset. And he goes, What? And I said, We&#39;re gonna reset. You and I, we&#39;re gonna hold hands, and on three, we&#39;re all both gonna jump as high as we can in the air, and we&#39;re gonna land really loud. And I don&#39;t know where this came from in my head, but I felt my brain going to a very dark place. So he goes, What? I don&#39;t understand. And I was like, Let&#39;s just do it one, two, three, we&#39;re gonna jump really high. And we just went one, two, three, we jumped up in the air, we landed, and then he kind of laughed, and then I picked up and I like threw him really high over my head and I grabbed him, and then he just started laughing, and then it broke this like thing. Yep, and good for you like that. Is me Michelle, thank you, Michelle Obama. Like taking the high road when all I wanted to do was just throw him as hard as I could into the backseat and be like, then starve. Yeah. Gavin: 10:04 I don&#39;t know. You will we both have similar uh spouses because I would say that my partner uh f very, very frequently takes the high road, or but also it isn&#39;t helpful for me to hear the advice like, well, if you would just make it lighter, or if you could you have to be the grown-up in the room, and I&#39;m like, fuck you, I don&#39;t want to be the grown-up in the room. David: 10:24 This is why it&#39;s good that we married the people we did, because if like two two personalities like you and I got married or they got married, can you imagine the destruction, the just the collapse of the entire family union that that would happen? Um, all right. So moving on, let&#39;s move on to this week&#39;s top three list, which was my list, and my really thoughtful, elegant list was who are the top three hottest murderers? Gavin: 10:48 I&#39;m really glad you have dumbed it down a little bit and made it frankly sexier. David: 10:53 So thank you. Gavin: 10:53 No, no, it&#39;s true. It&#39;s all right. David: 10:54 I I&#39;m all about it. Okay, so uh, and number three, my third hottest murderer is a very specific one. Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Totally. Christian Bale, it listen, say what you will about him. He is so sexy in that movie. Yeah. Um absolutely. Absolutely. So it&#39;s so manufactured though, like he knows he&#39;s sexy, but it&#39;s yeah, all right, all right. Uh uh number two for me, David Korish from the branch Davidian cult. He&#39;s got this, like he&#39;s got this like 70s long hair, skinny, like maybe barefoot playing guitar kind of vibe, which I was totally into. Like, sorry about all like the culty like death and everything, but like he is very, very sexy. Um, number one, first place, I gotta give it to the hometown hero, Jeffrey Dahmer. He for he&#39;s blonde, he&#39;s gay, he cleans up, like he is he&#39;s he, you know, you gotta give it to the hometowner. Um, so all right, number one, Jeffrey Dahmer. Thanks a little high five to the the gay murderers out there. What about you? Gavin: 12:04 I took a little less reality spin, um, although I would obviously Patrick Bateman is not real, but I would say at um at number three is Mark Wahlberg in the movie Fear. Oh, I haven&#39;t seen it from 1996. But you had me at Mark Wahlberg. It&#39;s him, Reese Ritherspoon, and he terrorizes the entire family, and it&#39;s the dad is protecting his daughter, Rhys Ritherspoon, who was, you know, young in 1996. Where Mark Wahlberg very, very scarily locks her in a bathroom, lifts up his t-shirt, which of course is abs for days, and he has scratched into his skin Nicole for Eva, which is fucking hysterical because he&#39;s got that Boston accent, but it&#39;s those abs, and he&#39;s scratched his skin, and you&#39;re like, oh, he&#39;s a hot psychopath murderer for sure. So number three, Mark Wahlberg in the movie Fear. Number two, Darren Chris as the murderer of Versace in that show that Ryan Murphy had, you know, um, the murder of Versace or whatever. Darren Chris, I mean, Darren Chris can he can be a murderer, he can be a dad or whatever. Um, I&#39;m here for it. And then number one for me, Jeremy Irons in Die Hard with a Vengeance. There is a scene in there where he is doing yoga naked. And when I saw that movie, I was like, I&#39;m sorry, excuse me, what? And I remember the whole movie thinking like, and I was young to realize the feelings I think I was having. I mean, not that I was six years old or anything, but I was like, yeah, but the guy who&#39;s about to kill a bunch of people, I mean, he was kind of hot when he was doing naked yoga. So I know. Jeremy Irons diehard with a vengeance is my number one murder hot murderer. Nice. All right. What&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Next week, um, let&#39;s stay with hotties and let&#39;s talk about hot professions. When you see a dude in his job and it&#39;s just automatically hot, dude, because it&#39;s a hot job. Tell me what your top three are. David: 14:15 Okay, so our guest this week is a man I&#39;ve had the pleasure of knowing since 2001. Which honestly, if you ask me, it was like eight years ago. Yeah, eight years ago. Right. Gavin: 14:24 It&#39;s both of it&#39;s both of those things. I still think like just a couple of years ago, you know, 2007. David: 14:29 He is a successful writer, composer, actor,...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week&apos;s episode starts out with new information about what can happen to your butt,  Gavin feels entitled to talk about entitlement, and our multi-hyphenate guest Nick Blaemire joins us to talk about life as an artist after having a kid, and rea]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week&apos;s episode starts out with new information about what can happen to your butt,  Gavin feels entitled to talk about entitlement, and our multi-hyphenate guest Nick Blaemire joins us to talk about life as an artist after having a kid, and reads David over the course of their 22 year friendship.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, I went and worked for the Gore campaign in nineteen in 2000 and I don&#39;t work on it, but it&#39;s the same business. Fuck off. And this is day three architect. David: 0:24 So my son for a couple of weeks has been itching his butt in a way where I keep saying to him, Hey, like, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, My butt itches. I&#39;m like, Do you want diaper cream? He&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s for babies. I&#39;m like, well, let me look at your butt. He&#39;s like, no. So I&#39;m like, fine, whatever. So this is how it goes for a couple of weeks. So finally, one night in the middle of the night, Emmett comes to our room and he&#39;s crying. He&#39;s like, my butt hurts so bad. And I&#39;m like, what is going on with your butt? So I like, I like, I there&#39;s nothing on his butt, but he&#39;s like scratching it. So I like send him to bed, he goes back to sleep. And in the morning, I&#39;m like, I need to Google this. So I Google this, and Google tells me, oh, your son probably has worms in his butthole. And what those are are little white filamented-looking things sticking out of his butthole that wiggle and move. And the internet tells me I need to get a flashlight, peel open his butt, and look at it at night and see if I can see worms coming out of my son&#39;s butthole. And and that is when I said I&#39;m done with parenting. I&#39;m that&#39;s it. I&#39;m I&#39;ve reached the limit of what I&#39;m capable of doing. And it is not to stare at my my three-year-old&#39;s butthole in the middle of the night with a flashlight to see if I could see wiggling worms coming out of it. Gavin: 1:52 Listen, David, you have been looking. I th I I really think I know that you hang on every word and every um reaction I give you. And I think that you were waiting for me to be surprised by anything that you just said. David: 2:03 Just wait. Just wait, Gavin. Just wait. So the next day, I&#39;m like, we&#39;re going to urgent care, we&#39;re going to the, you know, the doctor. There&#39;s no way I&#39;m gonna, because this is of course this is Sunday. By the way, my kid only gets sick on Sundays when the pediatrician is not open. Only day of the week. Anyway. Of course. So the morning we before we go to the pediatrician, I&#39;m like, let me look at your butt. And I notice above his butt hole, excuse me for being crass, is like a little red sore. Like it looks like a sore. And I&#39;m like, oh, that must be what he&#39;s scratching. I wonder if he like cut it, it&#39;s a cut, it&#39;s something. So we go to the pediatrician and we say, Hey, this is what&#39;s been happening. He&#39;s been very itchy, he has this little sore above his butt. And the first words out of her mouth was, that&#39;s probably strep. I said, like strep throat. She said, Yeah. But strep butt. She said, If you&#39;re if you put your fingers in your mouth, which my my son is a finger sucker, if you put your fingers in your mouth and then you scratch your butt, you can get strep throat of your butthole. So she took a strep test and like did it over the area and it was positive, Gavin. My son had strep of the butthole. Gavin: 3:19 That I did not know. So I did not know that either. David: 3:22 Now, obviously, you can put the pieces together. What happened? Now everyone in the house has strep throat. One of us has a strep butthole. Gavin: 3:32 Wait, does he have strep throat then? David: 3:34 So what had happened was he had strep throat, he got us all sick, but he was like scratching his butt with his streppy fingers and created this like little thing. Yes. And luckily, the the the doctor was super nice super nice, and she was like, Oh yeah, this is so common. And I was like, I&#39;m 43. I have never heard of this in my entire life. Gavin: 3:52 Neither have I. I&#39;m way younger than you are, and I have never and I have just you wait. I I have older kids. I&#39;ve never heard of strep butt. David: 4:02 Strep butt, yeah. And guess what? It&#39;s coming for you. So, anyway, so that was my week, which was really exciting. And then I just my last part of my little bit of rant, um, and we&#39;re we&#39;re beyond buttholes now for those of you who have been holding your breath. Um, is that so we so I got antibiotics, everyone like the adults in the audit in the house got antibiotics and their little pills, like we&#39;ve done that before. And the kids get like a liquid, right? And and so what really fucking pisses me off is that so my daughter, who&#39;s one, has this, my son has it, um, and you know, let&#39;s say it&#39;s five milligrams per time you get it, right? And they&#39;re like, take it, let&#39;s say 10 times. I&#39;m just doing really rough math. So that&#39;s a total of 50 milliliters. The prescription will be for like 50 or 55 milliliters. I&#39;m like, you motherfuckers have never had to give a child medicine, which they especially the baby, will spit out or she&#39;ll block her mouth or whatever. I need backup to have to do refills to give her the five milliliters two times. So, all of those doctors out there, when you&#39;re prescribing a liquid medicine for somebody under the age of four, can you give us a little bit of fucking wiggle room so I can give my son the medicine he needs to cure his streppy butthole? Gavin: 5:17 I&#39;m glad that you&#39;ve gotten back into parenting um with the strep buttons, and but the pinworms, I&#39;m telling you, it uh I a friend of mine uh told me a couple of years ago it went through her entire family. Oh, God mom, dad, three children. They went to the doctor. It was actually an easy treatment. It wasn&#39;t that big a deal. There were it wasn&#39;t flashlights in the middle of the night, uh, luckily. But she said that the doctor said, Listen, I&#39;m glad you&#39;ve got this. Because this is science. This is what human beings are supposed to be. We&#39;re not supposed to be walking around completely sanitized, because if we do, strep is going to kill us. So luckily, strep hasn&#39;t killed you and your family. But the fact is, no, nobody wants to have white worms in their butts by any stretch of the imagination. David: 6:02 The idea of feeling a wiggling worm in my butthole makes me want to walk into traffic. Like, I cannot explain to you. The idea of like the the uh crawling out, crawling out, little TV things, crawling out. I&#39;m done. You&#39;re done with parenting. I&#39;m done with parenting. It&#39;s it. I can&#39;t do it anymore. So anyway, that was my week, Gavin. How was your week? Gavin: 6:27 Well, okay, I you&#39;re hopefully you&#39;re not gonna hear me talk about this too much because everybody&#39;s gonna get really sick of it. But I am solo dadding right now, um, which is great because my partner is super, super lucky. He is a musical composer and he gets to he gets to fly to London for a month to work on a show, which is awesome. And um, but we&#39;ve done this before, but it&#39;s a lot of work. And the last time we did it, my kids, all I had to do was basically keep them alive and fed because they were much, much, much younger. And now I have to like monitor homework and I have to deal with social um issues going on at middle school and whatnot. And it&#39;s um, I, you know, it is what it is. I I all hats off, of course, to anybody who&#39;s doing this um single-handedly because it is tough. So anyway, but um also all I ever hear is complaints from my kids, also. There nothing&#39;s ever good enough, nothing&#39;s ever hot enough or cold enough or tasty enough, or sweet enough, or whatever. And so once again, I found myself last night as my kid was saying to me, I wish we lived in that house, I wish we lived in that house, I wish we lived in that house, and I had had it. And I&#39;m like, when is it gonna be enough that what we have is all that we need, and we don&#39;t need want more, we don&#39;t have to have more. And we live in a world where rights are being taken away from gay parents and trans kids, and like all my kid wants to do is be on TikTok all the time. And I&#39;m like, and meanwhile, can you just pick up the wet towels off your floor? And um, so you know, I am it&#39;s it feels to me that there&#39;s a lot of tension in our house, and I think my younger kid is like, can you and can you stop fighting with my sister, please? And I&#39;m like, oh geez, now it&#39;s coming. The advice for my little kid is that I am fighting too much. But um, you know, it is uh it it just it it doesn&#39;t let up. And I&#39;m like, but how do you teach your kids to pick up the towels off the floor if you&#39;re not like nagging after them the entire time? Anyway, there&#39;s a lot of nagging going on, but you know what? We do always uh say goodnight on very good terms. So it&#39;s it&#39;s not a failure, but I am uh it&#39;s it&#39;s a lot. It&#39;s all a lot. Never go to bed angry. Yeah. Uh uh, do you ever go to bed angry? Do your kids, do you and your husband ever go to bed angry? David: 8:35 No, we&#39;re we don&#39;t really, we&#39;re not really fighters, but but my there are I have to oh I have to override the caveman part of my brain that would like my son or really my son is being an asshole before bed, that I don&#39;t just say find like the beast from being the beast, then starve and like slam the door. Like that&#39;s all I want to do. And I have never done that because a my husband is a better person than I am, so he always like chooses the high road, and I always feel guilty that I don&#39;t. But also, like you I do I have to manufacture a part of my brain that like the other day we were leaving daycare, he was being a total fucking asshole, and we were in the hallway, and I felt myself going to the point of like I&#39;m gonna pick him up, throw him in the car, and let him scream the whole. I was just like so angry. And what I did was I just stopped. We were in the middle of the hallway on like where two stairways meet. And I said, Emmet, let&#39;s you and I reset. And he goes, What? And I said, We&#39;re gonna reset. You and I, we&#39;re gonna hold hands, and on three, we&#39;re all both gonna jump as high as we can in the air, and we&#39;re gonna land really loud. And I don&#39;t know where this came from in my head, but I felt my brain going to a very dark place. So he goes, What? I don&#39;t understand. And I was like, Let&#39;s just do it one, two, three, we&#39;re gonna jump really high. And we just went one, two, three, we jumped up in the air, we landed, and then he kind of laughed, and then I picked up and I like threw him really high over my head and I grabbed him, and then he just started laughing, and then it broke this like thing. Yep, and good for you like that. Is me Michelle, thank you, Michelle Obama. Like taking the high road when all I wanted to do was just throw him as hard as I could into the backseat and be like, then starve. Yeah. Gavin: 10:04 I don&#39;t know. You will we both have similar uh spouses because I would say that my partner uh f very, very frequently takes the high road, or but also it isn&#39;t helpful for me to hear the advice like, well, if you would just make it lighter, or if you could you have to be the grown-up in the room, and I&#39;m like, fuck you, I don&#39;t want to be the grown-up in the room. David: 10:24 This is why it&#39;s good that we married the people we did, because if like two two personalities like you and I got married or they got married, can you imagine the destruction, the just the collapse of the entire family union that that would happen? Um, all right. So moving on, let&#39;s move on to this week&#39;s top three list, which was my list, and my really thoughtful, elegant list was who are the top three hottest murderers? Gavin: 10:48 I&#39;m really glad you have dumbed it down a little bit and made it frankly sexier. David: 10:53 So thank you. Gavin: 10:53 No, no, it&#39;s true. It&#39;s all right. David: 10:54 I I&#39;m all about it. Okay, so uh, and number three, my third hottest murderer is a very specific one. Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Totally. Christian Bale, it listen, say what you will about him. He is so sexy in that movie. Yeah. Um absolutely. Absolutely. So it&#39;s so manufactured though, like he knows he&#39;s sexy, but it&#39;s yeah, all right, all right. Uh uh number two for me, David Korish from the branch Davidian cult. He&#39;s got this, like he&#39;s got this like 70s long hair, skinny, like maybe barefoot playing guitar kind of vibe, which I was totally into. Like, sorry about all like the culty like death and everything, but like he is very, very sexy. Um, number one, first place, I gotta give it to the hometown hero, Jeffrey Dahmer. He for he&#39;s blonde, he&#39;s gay, he cleans up, like he is he&#39;s he, you know, you gotta give it to the hometowner. Um, so all right, number one, Jeffrey Dahmer. Thanks a little high five to the the gay murderers out there. What about you? Gavin: 12:04 I took a little less reality spin, um, although I would obviously Patrick Bateman is not real, but I would say at um at number three is Mark Wahlberg in the movie Fear. Oh, I haven&#39;t seen it from 1996. But you had me at Mark Wahlberg. It&#39;s him, Reese Ritherspoon, and he terrorizes the entire family, and it&#39;s the dad is protecting his daughter, Rhys Ritherspoon, who was, you know, young in 1996. Where Mark Wahlberg very, very scarily locks her in a bathroom, lifts up his t-shirt, which of course is abs for days, and he has scratched into his skin Nicole for Eva, which is fucking hysterical because he&#39;s got that Boston accent, but it&#39;s those abs, and he&#39;s scratched his skin, and you&#39;re like, oh, he&#39;s a hot psychopath murderer for sure. So number three, Mark Wahlberg in the movie Fear. Number two, Darren Chris as the murderer of Versace in that show that Ryan Murphy had, you know, um, the murder of Versace or whatever. Darren Chris, I mean, Darren Chris can he can be a murderer, he can be a dad or whatever. Um, I&#39;m here for it. And then number one for me, Jeremy Irons in Die Hard with a Vengeance. There is a scene in there where he is doing yoga naked. And when I saw that movie, I was like, I&#39;m sorry, excuse me, what? And I remember the whole movie thinking like, and I was young to realize the feelings I think I was having. I mean, not that I was six years old or anything, but I was like, yeah, but the guy who&#39;s about to kill a bunch of people, I mean, he was kind of hot when he was doing naked yoga. So I know. Jeremy Irons diehard with a vengeance is my number one murder hot murderer. Nice. All right. What&#39;s next week&#39;s list gonna be? Next week, um, let&#39;s stay with hotties and let&#39;s talk about hot professions. When you see a dude in his job and it&#39;s just automatically hot, dude, because it&#39;s a hot job. Tell me what your top three are. David: 14:15 Okay, so our guest this week is a man I&#39;ve had the pleasure of knowing since 2001. Which honestly, if you ask me, it was like eight years ago. Yeah, eight years ago. Right. Gavin: 14:24 It&#39;s both of it&#39;s both of those things. I still think like just a couple of years ago, you know, 2007. David: 14:29 He is a successful writer, composer, actor,...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week&apos;s episode starts out with new information about what can happen to your butt,  Gavin feels entitled to talk about entitlement, and our multi-hyphenate guest Nick Blaemire joins us to talk about life as an artist after having a kid, and reads David over the course of their 22 year friendship.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, I went and worked for the Gore campaign in nineteen in 2000 and I don&#39;t work on it, but it&#39;s the same business. Fuck off. And this is day three architect. David: 0:24 So my son for a couple of weeks has been itching his butt in a way where I keep saying to him, Hey, like, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, My butt itches. I&#39;m like, Do you want diaper cream? He&#39;s like, no, that&#39;s for babies. I&#39;m like, well, let me look at your butt. He&#39;s like, no. So I&#39;m like, fine, whatever. So this is how it goes for a couple of weeks. So finally, one night in the middle of the night, Emmett comes to our room and he&#39;s crying. He&#39;s like, my butt hurts so bad. And I&#39;m like, what is going on with your butt? So I like, I like, I there&#39;s nothing on his butt, but he&#39;s like scratching it. So I like send him to bed, he goes back to sleep. And in the morning, I&#39;m like, I need to Google this. So I Google this, and Google tells me, oh, your son probably has worms in his butthole. And what those are are little white filamented-looking things sticking out of his butthole that wiggle and move. And the internet tells me I need to get a flashlight, peel open his butt, and look at it at night and see if I can see worms coming out of my son&#39;s butthole. And and that is when I said I&#39;m done with parenting. I&#39;m that&#39;s it. I&#39;m I&#39;ve reached the limit of what I&#39;m capable of doing. And it is not to stare at my my three-year-old&#39;s butthole in the middle of the night with a flashlight to see if I could see wiggling worms coming out of it. Gavin: 1:52 Listen, David, you have been looking. I th I I really think I know that you hang on every word and every um reaction I give you. And I think that you were waiting for me to be surprised by anything that you just said. David: 2:03 Just wait. Just wait, Gavin. Just wait. So the next day, I&#39;m like, we&#39;re going to urgent care, we&#39;re going to the, you know, the doctor. There&#39;s no way I&#39;m gonna, because this is of course this is Sunday. By the way, my kid only gets sick on Sundays when the pediatrician is not open. Only day of the week. Anyway. Of course. So the morning we before we go to the pediatrician, I&#39;m like, let me look at your butt. And I notice above his butt hole, excuse me for being crass, is like a little red sore. Like it looks like a sore. And I&#39;m like, oh, that must be what he&#39;s scratching. I wonder if he like cut it, it&#39;s a cut, it&#39;s something. So we go to the pediatrician and we say, Hey, this is what&#39;s been happening. He&#39;s been very itchy, he has this little sore above his butt. And the first words out of her mouth was, that&#39;s probably strep. I said, like strep throat. She said, Yeah. But strep butt. She said, If you&#39;re if you put your fingers in your mouth, which my my son is a finger sucker, if you put your fingers in your mouth and then you scratch your butt, you can get strep throat of your butthole. So she took a strep test and like did it over the area and it was positive, Gavin. My son had strep of the butthole. Gavin: 3:19 That I did not know. So I did not know that either. David: 3:22 Now, obviously, you can put the pieces together. What happened? Now everyone in the house has strep throat. One of us has a strep butthole. Gavin: 3:32 Wait, does he have strep throat t]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week&apos;s episode starts out with new information about what can happen to your butt,  Gavin feels entitled to talk about entitlement, and our multi-hyphenate guest Nick Blaemire joins us to talk about life as an artist after having a kid, and reads David over the course of their 22 year friendship.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Yeah, I went and worked for the Gore campaign in nineteen in 2000 and I don&#39;t work on it, but it&#39;s the same business. Fuck off. And this is day three architect. David: 0:24 So my son for a couple of weeks has been itching his butt in a way where I keep saying to him, Hey, like, what are you doing? He&#39;s like, My butt itches. I&#39;m like, Do you want diaper cream? He&#39;s like, no, that]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Danette Holden</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-danette-holden/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 17 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, David brags about sleeping in a hotel room all by himself, we talk porn, and our guest this week is none other than the 40 year old 17 year old Danette Holden, who talks to us about raising entitled assholes, going to work 7 days after you give birth, and how her new novel is &#34;&#8230;not terrible?&#34; Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:02 Sorry. David: 0:04 But you&#39;re right. Gavin: 0:05 I I don&#39;t want anybody to actually think that I think murder is hot. Although, I don&#39;t know. I mean, maybe. David: 0:11 I mean, maybe. Do you want to stop? I love how I get like femme sub bottom whenever I&#39;m like talking about murderers. I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:22 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:37 So I was on a work trip for the past week and a half, and let&#39;s pause there. Gavin: 0:42 Because you have been away for an entire week and a half, and I don&#39;t care if it&#39;s a work trip. I don&#39;t care if you are digging ditches. You are away from the bitches. David: 0:52 Can I say that? Can we say that? Yeah. You can say that, but I mean, that&#39;s what I was gonna say is that, like, listen, I was in a hotel room by myself in a king-size bed. What? With the air conditioning as low as legally allowed, shivering naked under my covers, happier than I&#39;ve ever been. But um, I I was I was away for work and um I have a mini rant at the top. So I uh for those of you who don&#39;t know, I play professional poker for a long time. Gavin: 1:19 Oh yeah, we we we that has never been mentioned here, and it&#39;s still something I&#39;m uh coming to grips with. Coming to grips with because it just boggles my mind. So we&#39;re gonna need an entire episode, a sidebar episode on Legally Blonde and your poker professionalism. David: 1:34 Yes. So um I was playing poker. Um I was in LA for a little while, and there&#39;s a great card room there, so I was playing poker, and somebody said something to me. We were talking about parenting, and I have heard it a million times. You&#39;ve said it to me, I&#39;ve said it to other people, and I just want to like broadly tell the parent community to fucking stop it, which is the whole just you wait conversation, right? Yes, it&#39;s the like you have this looming horror as a parent that I love to dangle in front of you. You know, I&#39;m like, oh, I just love spending time with my kids, just you wait till they&#39;re teens. Oh, I this, this, this. Oh, well, just you wait. I get it, right? We we as parents have no idea what&#39;s coming in front of us. And when we&#39;ve done it, we like to like tease and taunt the new parents who have hope in their eyes. But he was saying we were talking about something, and he was he has two teens, and he was just like, just you wait. And he literally couldn&#39;t respond to anything I said unless he said, just you wait. And so I would like to I would like me and you and all people to just fucking stop it because I wanna let me enjoy this and let if the horror is gonna come, it&#39;s gonna come. You saying just you wait doesn&#39;t help me. Gavin: 2:46 Why do we have to do that though? I is it a man I I wonder if that&#39;s like one-upsmanship or like domination to be like, well, listen, I&#39;ve been there and I know what a what I need to warn you, man. David: 2:58 No, I think it&#39;s more like trauma dumping, it&#39;s like a way to work through it yourself. Yeah, it&#39;s listen, we we we&#39;re passing along our trauma, right? We&#39;re just passing along to the next generation of parents. Gavin: 3:09 I that I think that makes perfect sense. Uh yeah, and so yeah, from from here on out, you heard it, heard it here first. We I will not say that again for the next two and a half minutes. But after that, um all bets are off because it&#39;s true. You want to be able to say just you wait. I have had so many times this week where I&#39;ve I&#39;ve you have popped into mind as I&#39;m like, oh, just you wait, David. It all gets so much worse. David: 3:34 We all fucking do it, but like it&#39;s so unhelpful from the receiver&#39;s end. And I have literally done it to people who have like an infit and they&#39;re like, it&#39;s just so joyful. And I want to just say, you haven&#39;t even gotten to month three yet, where where you&#39;re tired and they are still not sleeping through the night. Gavin: 3:49 But and why are we spreading negativity like that too? I don&#39;t know. They haven&#39;t listened to you, they haven&#39;t listened to your positive gratitude. Oh, it&#39;s gonna get cuter. It&#39;s gonna get more fun. It&#39;s always just like everything&#39;s gonna get worse. It gets worse, it gets worse, it gets worse. David: 4:05 And but we do that. Yeah. So, Gavin, um, this past Sunday was Mother&#39;s Day. Happy Mother&#39;s Day. Gavin: 4:11 Happy Mother&#39;s Day. Which one of you is the mother? Are you the mom? Are you the mom? Who&#39;s the mother in your house? Yeah. Um, well, I uh I was actually thinking about that a lot because it I feel like talking about Mother&#39;s Day is such a hot button issue for gay dads. And I think, I think that we all go through that moment the first time we&#39;re, you know, the first time we&#39;re a parent around Mother&#39;s Day, and somebody inevitably says, Oh, should happy Mother&#39;s Day, should I say it to you? And I know that I&#39;ve experienced this and I&#39;ve seen other uh gay dads on social basically react to it negatively, where we&#39;re like, How dare you assume that I have a wife? How dare you assume there&#39;s a mother involved? How dare you, how dare you, how dare you? And in reality, I do think we all just need to chill a little bit. Oh yeah. Most people have most kids have mothers. Most kids have mothers. And also, it&#39;s not meant as an insult. No. I mean, it really, really isn&#39;t. I mean, unless, well, there&#39;s definitely douchebags out there who are gonna be like, you know. Which one of you is the mother? I don&#39;t know. David: 5:11 It&#39;s a it&#39;s a but I think it&#39;s far more like you saying, like, the the assumption, listen, what the assumption is usually correct. Most people have a mother in their life, most people have a mom and a dad, most people are straight. Like, I I get it. It&#39;s not offensive if you&#39;re just assuming because you&#39;re, you know, using the statistical knowledge. Gavin: 5:28 And I was talking to a friend who s who is uh who is a woman but is not a mom, who said, you know, I ha I have a I&#39;m part of a strong community of people, and there are a lot of kids in my life, and I feel like I mother them. I am not the mother, but I see it as a holiday that I am mothering, and that translates to men as well. That we I mean, you know, obviously the term mother i is even larger than the role, frankly, I think. And we can all kind of take on the mothering role because it does mean nurturing and it does mean loving, and it does mean like come up and sit in my lap and but it also means have a frose and complain about your kids, which I did, so maybe I&#39;m the mother. David: 6:08 That is also true, right? Gavin: 6:11 That is also true. David: 6:13 That is exactly right. And yes. So I saw a really great TikTok, which is literally my entire life now, uh-huh, and um, it was about porn, and and it was about I&#39;m familiar. I mean I&#39;m not familiar. I mean I&#39;m whatever. Yes, uh-huh. And it was it was at first, it was like, you need to talk to your young children about porn, and I was like, you know, but it was really good because it made me kind of go, okay, wait, what is she saying? And it was really fucking smart. And she was basically saying, you need to start hard conversations around porn now at three, at four, and and obviously age appropriate. And so that was my confusion. I was like, how do I talk to my three-year-old about porn? And she was really smart. She was like, You talk to your kids about holding hands in the street, right? Remember, every time we go in the street, you know, and she was saying, You need to start having that conversation about when they&#39;re on the internet, on the browsers, there are parental controls and stuff, but like it doesn&#39;t always work. So the thing that she said I thought was so smart was she was like, in the beginning, you say, Listen, there are good pictures and bad pictures, and if you see a bad picture, make sure you tell a parent, you know. And so the beginning of that, I was like, that is so smart. Because my greatest goal in life, besides um uh my kids moving out of the way. Drinking per se, yeah, yeah. Um is yeah, exactly. Um, is to raise kids with good judgment because I can&#39;t tell them how to think, and I don&#39;t want them because there&#39;s too many things out of my control. I want to have them to have good judgment. So to start now with good pictures, bad pictures, what scares you, what doesn&#39;t scare you, is was really smart. So thank you to that TikTok lady. Um, I it was not something I ever considered. But now I&#39;m like, that&#39;s a really smart thing. Because my kid&#39;s on YouTube, and like, listen, he&#39;s always watching these stupid fucking videos of like people pushing Play-Doh through random things and random, squishy sounds. But like, inevitably, he may click a link. You know, you know, you never know how it goes, and you want him to be able to go, Daddy, I saw this bad picture. And I was like, great, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s let&#39;s not look at that again. Um, so anyway, I thought it was a really smart, smart way of uh dealing with that. Gavin: 8:13 Here&#39;s a great moment for a PSA also that I heard about TikTok, which is essentially the algorithm goes south after 15 minutes. And so you might want to hold on to that. That by you, David, you need to hold on for 15 minutes, and then by 16 minutes, you&#39;ll be seeing more porn in how to build bombs and kill people, right? Which is, I know your jam. But um I have actually um I&#39;m whittling back my daughter&#39;s TikTok time where um it triggers my phone to say, can she have another 15 minutes? Which I think it&#39;s interesting that it auto it it defaults to 15 minutes, but I&#39;m trying to get it down to she&#39;s gonna watch it, and listen, I fucking love TikTok. It is there&#39;s so much creativity on there, it is so entertaining, etc. etc. But after 15 minutes, it can go south. That&#39;s literally where the algorithm starts to go south. David: 8:55 No, 100%. Like my my TikTok feed most of the time is like baking videos and guys dancing without any underwear on, so you can see the dick flopping around. But one time, I don&#39;t know how it happened, I got onto cartel TikTok. I got onto videos of bodies floating in rivers with like snitches get stitches kind of shit. Like it was fucking terrifying. So I was like, I had to make a point to like watch really benign videos for a while to like reset the algorithm. But TikTok will the get you. You watch a video for too long, it&#39;s like, oh, you like this now? And you&#39;re like, no, no, no, no, I swear to God, I don&#39;t like this anymore. It was an accident. It was an accident. Gavin: 9:31 I just put the phone down to go fill up my frose, and then suddenly I&#39;m watching cartel death videos. Um well, and also along those lines though, um, when my kiddo was, I don&#39;t know, maybe I think we&#39;re still talking like five or so, he was playing those benign games. Uh like, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s just bouncing the ball around free games, right? Because I&#39;m a cheap motherfucker and I don&#39;t want to spend too much more money to give too much more money to Apple. So I&#39;m fine with him like downloading free shit. Well, you know that those go quickly south because then there&#39;s ads for other games where you&#39;re where literally I was sitting with him one time. We were we were, you know, uh uh it was side-by-side play on my phone and his iPad, and he&#39;s playing a game, and then suddenly I hear uh and I look over and I&#39;m like, what the hell? And it was an ad for a game that was animated, basically sex. I mean, they were clothed, but it was a dude chasing a woman. I mean, you want to talk about rape triggers right there. It was a dude chasing a woman, grabbing her, and even though she was like into it supposedly, but my kid immediately slammed it down and he looked away, and I god, I hope it wasn&#39;t just because I was there sitting with him and that he doesn&#39;t actually um uh watch it when that comes up. But then I started to realize this ad is popping up a lot. So and it&#39;s just an ad. And so anyway, so there&#39;s there there&#39;s there&#39;s there&#39;s where we need to talk about the good pictures and the bad pictures and the um holding hands in the street and whatnot. And you gotta be um literate because we in our puritanical society that is so afraid of sex and yet obviously very s pro-sex behind closed doors, we need to talk about it in age-appropriate ways as soon as possible, because the world&#39;s a dirty place. David: 11:06 Like you said, like that was an ad for a game which is hiding behind the idea that, like, oh, this is just animated, it&#39;s just fun. And you can&#39;t explain to a five-year-old consensual non-consent play, and she was consenting to not like you that is that is what it&#39;s just gonna look like, oh my god, that man was attacking her and their clothes were off. So that yeah, that&#39;s really frustrating. That I and I think I know what ad you&#39;re talking about. I hear a rumor. I I think I know of of what you talk about. Gavin: 11:34 Wait, let and before I I know you you&#39;re Jones in to get past the porn, but let&#39;s stay on porn for just a little bit. Oh, yeah. It was uh this was one of my absolute parenting losses. Where a couple of summers ago, I thought, you know, maybe I should check my daughter&#39;s um browser history, right? I mean, how embarrassing that I don&#39;t know, who knows how long she had had an iPad, but it was more than a year before I was like, hmm, I wonder what she&#39;s actually searching up. Well, it was she was looking up a certain well-known Broadway diva&#39;s boobs. Wrote in the name and boobs. Was it Bernadette Peters? I will say that there were no boobs to be found from this famous person. Oh man. Um, Bernadette Peters adjacent. I don&#39;t think she was looking for these specific things, but it devolved from famous Broadway woman&#39;s boobs to uh how to have sex to Lisa Simpson fucking mill house with a dildo. What? Which was one of the funniest things I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. I know they weren&#39;t looking for that very specific image, but that&#39;s what it came to. David: 12:45 Listen, if if anybody has ever gone on Port MD and just clicked like like suggested videos, you can find yourself in a very scary place really quickly. You just wait. Gavin: 12:55 You just wait, it quickly goes south. It gets worse from there, dude. David: 12:58 Gets worse. I knew it was coming. I knew the just you wait was coming. So let&#39;s move on to our top three list today. Our top three list was sent by a listener. It&#39;s our first one ever. Um, our listener, Josh. Hi, Josh, out there. Um, this week&#39;s list is the top three movies you wanted to share with your kids before you were a parent, which I thought was a kind of cool list. Um, and then as I was listening to it, I was like, well, this is just my favorite movies. So 100%. So uh in number three for me is Christmas Vacation. Now, this is a family tradition in our family of watching this a hundred times during the holidays. It is also the only movie that still consistently makes me...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David brags about sleeping in a hotel room all by himself, we talk porn, and our guest this week is none other than the 40 year old 17 year old Danette Holden, who talks to us about raising entitled assholes, going to work 7 days after you giv]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David brags about sleeping in a hotel room all by himself, we talk porn, and our guest this week is none other than the 40 year old 17 year old Danette Holden, who talks to us about raising entitled assholes, going to work 7 days after you give birth, and how her new novel is &#34;&#8230;not terrible?&#34; Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:02 Sorry. David: 0:04 But you&#39;re right. Gavin: 0:05 I I don&#39;t want anybody to actually think that I think murder is hot. Although, I don&#39;t know. I mean, maybe. David: 0:11 I mean, maybe. Do you want to stop? I love how I get like femme sub bottom whenever I&#39;m like talking about murderers. I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:22 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:37 So I was on a work trip for the past week and a half, and let&#39;s pause there. Gavin: 0:42 Because you have been away for an entire week and a half, and I don&#39;t care if it&#39;s a work trip. I don&#39;t care if you are digging ditches. You are away from the bitches. David: 0:52 Can I say that? Can we say that? Yeah. You can say that, but I mean, that&#39;s what I was gonna say is that, like, listen, I was in a hotel room by myself in a king-size bed. What? With the air conditioning as low as legally allowed, shivering naked under my covers, happier than I&#39;ve ever been. But um, I I was I was away for work and um I have a mini rant at the top. So I uh for those of you who don&#39;t know, I play professional poker for a long time. Gavin: 1:19 Oh yeah, we we we that has never been mentioned here, and it&#39;s still something I&#39;m uh coming to grips with. Coming to grips with because it just boggles my mind. So we&#39;re gonna need an entire episode, a sidebar episode on Legally Blonde and your poker professionalism. David: 1:34 Yes. So um I was playing poker. Um I was in LA for a little while, and there&#39;s a great card room there, so I was playing poker, and somebody said something to me. We were talking about parenting, and I have heard it a million times. You&#39;ve said it to me, I&#39;ve said it to other people, and I just want to like broadly tell the parent community to fucking stop it, which is the whole just you wait conversation, right? Yes, it&#39;s the like you have this looming horror as a parent that I love to dangle in front of you. You know, I&#39;m like, oh, I just love spending time with my kids, just you wait till they&#39;re teens. Oh, I this, this, this. Oh, well, just you wait. I get it, right? We we as parents have no idea what&#39;s coming in front of us. And when we&#39;ve done it, we like to like tease and taunt the new parents who have hope in their eyes. But he was saying we were talking about something, and he was he has two teens, and he was just like, just you wait. And he literally couldn&#39;t respond to anything I said unless he said, just you wait. And so I would like to I would like me and you and all people to just fucking stop it because I wanna let me enjoy this and let if the horror is gonna come, it&#39;s gonna come. You saying just you wait doesn&#39;t help me. Gavin: 2:46 Why do we have to do that though? I is it a man I I wonder if that&#39;s like one-upsmanship or like domination to be like, well, listen, I&#39;ve been there and I know what a what I need to warn you, man. David: 2:58 No, I think it&#39;s more like trauma dumping, it&#39;s like a way to work through it yourself. Yeah, it&#39;s listen, we we we&#39;re passing along our trauma, right? We&#39;re just passing along to the next generation of parents. Gavin: 3:09 I that I think that makes perfect sense. Uh yeah, and so yeah, from from here on out, you heard it, heard it here first. We I will not say that again for the next two and a half minutes. But after that, um all bets are off because it&#39;s true. You want to be able to say just you wait. I have had so many times this week where I&#39;ve I&#39;ve you have popped into mind as I&#39;m like, oh, just you wait, David. It all gets so much worse. David: 3:34 We all fucking do it, but like it&#39;s so unhelpful from the receiver&#39;s end. And I have literally done it to people who have like an infit and they&#39;re like, it&#39;s just so joyful. And I want to just say, you haven&#39;t even gotten to month three yet, where where you&#39;re tired and they are still not sleeping through the night. Gavin: 3:49 But and why are we spreading negativity like that too? I don&#39;t know. They haven&#39;t listened to you, they haven&#39;t listened to your positive gratitude. Oh, it&#39;s gonna get cuter. It&#39;s gonna get more fun. It&#39;s always just like everything&#39;s gonna get worse. It gets worse, it gets worse, it gets worse. David: 4:05 And but we do that. Yeah. So, Gavin, um, this past Sunday was Mother&#39;s Day. Happy Mother&#39;s Day. Gavin: 4:11 Happy Mother&#39;s Day. Which one of you is the mother? Are you the mom? Are you the mom? Who&#39;s the mother in your house? Yeah. Um, well, I uh I was actually thinking about that a lot because it I feel like talking about Mother&#39;s Day is such a hot button issue for gay dads. And I think, I think that we all go through that moment the first time we&#39;re, you know, the first time we&#39;re a parent around Mother&#39;s Day, and somebody inevitably says, Oh, should happy Mother&#39;s Day, should I say it to you? And I know that I&#39;ve experienced this and I&#39;ve seen other uh gay dads on social basically react to it negatively, where we&#39;re like, How dare you assume that I have a wife? How dare you assume there&#39;s a mother involved? How dare you, how dare you, how dare you? And in reality, I do think we all just need to chill a little bit. Oh yeah. Most people have most kids have mothers. Most kids have mothers. And also, it&#39;s not meant as an insult. No. I mean, it really, really isn&#39;t. I mean, unless, well, there&#39;s definitely douchebags out there who are gonna be like, you know. Which one of you is the mother? I don&#39;t know. David: 5:11 It&#39;s a it&#39;s a but I think it&#39;s far more like you saying, like, the the assumption, listen, what the assumption is usually correct. Most people have a mother in their life, most people have a mom and a dad, most people are straight. Like, I I get it. It&#39;s not offensive if you&#39;re just assuming because you&#39;re, you know, using the statistical knowledge. Gavin: 5:28 And I was talking to a friend who s who is uh who is a woman but is not a mom, who said, you know, I ha I have a I&#39;m part of a strong community of people, and there are a lot of kids in my life, and I feel like I mother them. I am not the mother, but I see it as a holiday that I am mothering, and that translates to men as well. That we I mean, you know, obviously the term mother i is even larger than the role, frankly, I think. And we can all kind of take on the mothering role because it does mean nurturing and it does mean loving, and it does mean like come up and sit in my lap and but it also means have a frose and complain about your kids, which I did, so maybe I&#39;m the mother. David: 6:08 That is also true, right? Gavin: 6:11 That is also true. David: 6:13 That is exactly right. And yes. So I saw a really great TikTok, which is literally my entire life now, uh-huh, and um, it was about porn, and and it was about I&#39;m familiar. I mean I&#39;m not familiar. I mean I&#39;m whatever. Yes, uh-huh. And it was it was at first, it was like, you need to talk to your young children about porn, and I was like, you know, but it was really good because it made me kind of go, okay, wait, what is she saying? And it was really fucking smart. And she was basically saying, you need to start hard conversations around porn now at three, at four, and and obviously age appropriate. And so that was my confusion. I was like, how do I talk to my three-year-old about porn? And she was really smart. She was like, You talk to your kids about holding hands in the street, right? Remember, every time we go in the street, you know, and she was saying, You need to start having that conversation about when they&#39;re on the internet, on the browsers, there are parental controls and stuff, but like it doesn&#39;t always work. So the thing that she said I thought was so smart was she was like, in the beginning, you say, Listen, there are good pictures and bad pictures, and if you see a bad picture, make sure you tell a parent, you know. And so the beginning of that, I was like, that is so smart. Because my greatest goal in life, besides um uh my kids moving out of the way. Drinking per se, yeah, yeah. Um is yeah, exactly. Um, is to raise kids with good judgment because I can&#39;t tell them how to think, and I don&#39;t want them because there&#39;s too many things out of my control. I want to have them to have good judgment. So to start now with good pictures, bad pictures, what scares you, what doesn&#39;t scare you, is was really smart. So thank you to that TikTok lady. Um, I it was not something I ever considered. But now I&#39;m like, that&#39;s a really smart thing. Because my kid&#39;s on YouTube, and like, listen, he&#39;s always watching these stupid fucking videos of like people pushing Play-Doh through random things and random, squishy sounds. But like, inevitably, he may click a link. You know, you know, you never know how it goes, and you want him to be able to go, Daddy, I saw this bad picture. And I was like, great, let&#39;s talk about it, let&#39;s let&#39;s not look at that again. Um, so anyway, I thought it was a really smart, smart way of uh dealing with that. Gavin: 8:13 Here&#39;s a great moment for a PSA also that I heard about TikTok, which is essentially the algorithm goes south after 15 minutes. And so you might want to hold on to that. That by you, David, you need to hold on for 15 minutes, and then by 16 minutes, you&#39;ll be seeing more porn in how to build bombs and kill people, right? Which is, I know your jam. But um I have actually um I&#39;m whittling back my daughter&#39;s TikTok time where um it triggers my phone to say, can she have another 15 minutes? Which I think it&#39;s interesting that it auto it it defaults to 15 minutes, but I&#39;m trying to get it down to she&#39;s gonna watch it, and listen, I fucking love TikTok. It is there&#39;s so much creativity on there, it is so entertaining, etc. etc. But after 15 minutes, it can go south. That&#39;s literally where the algorithm starts to go south. David: 8:55 No, 100%. Like my my TikTok feed most of the time is like baking videos and guys dancing without any underwear on, so you can see the dick flopping around. But one time, I don&#39;t know how it happened, I got onto cartel TikTok. I got onto videos of bodies floating in rivers with like snitches get stitches kind of shit. Like it was fucking terrifying. So I was like, I had to make a point to like watch really benign videos for a while to like reset the algorithm. But TikTok will the get you. You watch a video for too long, it&#39;s like, oh, you like this now? And you&#39;re like, no, no, no, no, I swear to God, I don&#39;t like this anymore. It was an accident. It was an accident. Gavin: 9:31 I just put the phone down to go fill up my frose, and then suddenly I&#39;m watching cartel death videos. Um well, and also along those lines though, um, when my kiddo was, I don&#39;t know, maybe I think we&#39;re still talking like five or so, he was playing those benign games. Uh like, I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s just bouncing the ball around free games, right? Because I&#39;m a cheap motherfucker and I don&#39;t want to spend too much more money to give too much more money to Apple. So I&#39;m fine with him like downloading free shit. Well, you know that those go quickly south because then there&#39;s ads for other games where you&#39;re where literally I was sitting with him one time. We were we were, you know, uh uh it was side-by-side play on my phone and his iPad, and he&#39;s playing a game, and then suddenly I hear uh and I look over and I&#39;m like, what the hell? And it was an ad for a game that was animated, basically sex. I mean, they were clothed, but it was a dude chasing a woman. I mean, you want to talk about rape triggers right there. It was a dude chasing a woman, grabbing her, and even though she was like into it supposedly, but my kid immediately slammed it down and he looked away, and I god, I hope it wasn&#39;t just because I was there sitting with him and that he doesn&#39;t actually um uh watch it when that comes up. But then I started to realize this ad is popping up a lot. So and it&#39;s just an ad. And so anyway, so there&#39;s there there&#39;s there&#39;s there&#39;s where we need to talk about the good pictures and the bad pictures and the um holding hands in the street and whatnot. And you gotta be um literate because we in our puritanical society that is so afraid of sex and yet obviously very s pro-sex behind closed doors, we need to talk about it in age-appropriate ways as soon as possible, because the world&#39;s a dirty place. David: 11:06 Like you said, like that was an ad for a game which is hiding behind the idea that, like, oh, this is just animated, it&#39;s just fun. And you can&#39;t explain to a five-year-old consensual non-consent play, and she was consenting to not like you that is that is what it&#39;s just gonna look like, oh my god, that man was attacking her and their clothes were off. So that yeah, that&#39;s really frustrating. That I and I think I know what ad you&#39;re talking about. I hear a rumor. I I think I know of of what you talk about. Gavin: 11:34 Wait, let and before I I know you you&#39;re Jones in to get past the porn, but let&#39;s stay on porn for just a little bit. Oh, yeah. It was uh this was one of my absolute parenting losses. Where a couple of summers ago, I thought, you know, maybe I should check my daughter&#39;s um browser history, right? I mean, how embarrassing that I don&#39;t know, who knows how long she had had an iPad, but it was more than a year before I was like, hmm, I wonder what she&#39;s actually searching up. Well, it was she was looking up a certain well-known Broadway diva&#39;s boobs. Wrote in the name and boobs. Was it Bernadette Peters? I will say that there were no boobs to be found from this famous person. Oh man. Um, Bernadette Peters adjacent. I don&#39;t think she was looking for these specific things, but it devolved from famous Broadway woman&#39;s boobs to uh how to have sex to Lisa Simpson fucking mill house with a dildo. What? Which was one of the funniest things I&#39;ve ever seen in my entire life. I know they weren&#39;t looking for that very specific image, but that&#39;s what it came to. David: 12:45 Listen, if if anybody has ever gone on Port MD and just clicked like like suggested videos, you can find yourself in a very scary place really quickly. You just wait. Gavin: 12:55 You just wait, it quickly goes south. It gets worse from there, dude. David: 12:58 Gets worse. I knew it was coming. I knew the just you wait was coming. So let&#39;s move on to our top three list today. Our top three list was sent by a listener. It&#39;s our first one ever. Um, our listener, Josh. Hi, Josh, out there. Um, this week&#39;s list is the top three movies you wanted to share with your kids before you were a parent, which I thought was a kind of cool list. Um, and then as I was listening to it, I was like, well, this is just my favorite movies. So 100%. So uh in number three for me is Christmas Vacation. Now, this is a family tradition in our family of watching this a hundred times during the holidays. It is also the only movie that still consistently makes me...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David brags about sleeping in a hotel room all by himself, we talk porn, and our guest this week is none other than the 40 year old 17 year old Danette Holden, who talks to us about raising entitled assholes, going to work 7 days after you give birth, and how her new novel is &#34;&#8230;not terrible?&#34; Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:02 Sorry. David: 0:04 But you&#39;re right. Gavin: 0:05 I I don&#39;t want anybody to actually think that I think murder is hot. Although, I don&#39;t know. I mean, maybe. David: 0:11 I mean, maybe. Do you want to stop? I love how I get like femme sub bottom whenever I&#39;m like talking about murderers. I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:22 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:37 So I was on a work trip for the past week and a half, and let&#39;s pause there. Gavin: 0:42 Because you have been away for an entire week and a half, and I don&#39;t care if it&#39;s a work trip. I don&#39;t care if you are digging ditches. You are away from the bitches. David: 0:52 Can I say that? Can we say that? Yeah. You can say that, but I mean, that&#39;s what I was gonna say is that, like, listen, I was in a hotel room by myself in a king-size bed. What? With the air conditioning as low as legally allowed, shivering naked under my covers, happier than I&#39;ve ever been. But um, I I was I was away for work and um I have a mini rant at the top. So I uh for those of you who don&#39;t know, I play professional poker for a long time. Gavin: 1:19 Oh yeah, we we we that has never been mentioned here, and it&#39;s still something I&#39;m uh coming to grips with. Coming to grips with because it just boggles my mind. So we&#39;re gonna need an entire episode, a sidebar episode on Legally Blonde and your poker professionalism. David: 1:34 Yes. So um I was playing poker. Um I was in LA for a little while, and there&#39;s a great card room there, so I was playing poker, and somebody said something to me. We were talking about parenting, and I have heard it a million times. You&#39;ve said it to me, I&#39;ve said it to other people, and I just want to like broadly tell the parent community to fucking stop it, which is the whole just you wait conversation, right? Yes, it&#39;s the like you have this looming horror as a parent that I love to dangle in front of you. You know, I&#39;m like, oh, I just love spending time with my kids, just you wait till they&#39;re teens. Oh, I this, this, this. Oh, well, just you wait. I get it, right? We we as parents have no idea what&#39;s coming in front of us. And when we&#39;ve done it, we like to like tease and taunt the new parents who have hope in their eyes. But he was saying we were talking about something, and he was he has two teens, and he was just like, just you wait. And he literally couldn&#39;t respond to anything I said unless he said, just you wait. And so I would like to I would like me and you and all people to just fucking stop it because I wanna let me enjoy this and let if the horror is gonna come, it&#39;s gonna come. You saying just you wait doesn&#39;t help me. Gavin: 2:46 Why do we have to do that though? I is it a man I I wonder if that&#39;s like one-upsmanship or like domination to be like, well, listen, I&#39;ve been there and I know what a what I need to warn you, man. David: 2:58 No, I think it&#39;s more like trauma dumping, it&#39;s like a way to work through it yourself. Yeah, it&#39;s listen, we we we&#39;re passing along our trauma, right? We&#39;re just passing along to the next generation of parents. Gavin: 3:09 I that I think that makes perfect sense. Uh yeah, and so yeah, from from here on out, you heard it, heard it here first. We I will not say that again for the next two and a h]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David brags about sleeping in a hotel room all by himself, we talk porn, and our guest this week is none other than the 40 year old 17 year old Danette Holden, who talks to us about raising entitled assholes, going to work 7 days after you give birth, and how her new novel is &#34;&#8230;not terrible?&#34; Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:02 Sorry. David: 0:04 But you&#39;re right. Gavin: 0:05 I I don&#39;t want anybody to actually think that I think murder is hot. Although, I don&#39;t know. I mean, maybe. David: 0:11 I mean, maybe. Do you want to stop? I love how I get like femme sub bottom whenever I&#39;m like talking about murderers. I&#39;m like, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 0:22 And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:37 So ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Zöe Kors</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-zoe-kors/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12789798</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son thinks he&apos;s hilarious, we talk potty training and why our houses are covered in piss, and this week&apos;s guest is certified sexologist Zöe Kors, who talks us through why nobody wants to have sex with Gavin. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Can we stop talking to your Volva about your Volva, please? Just talking about pounding asses a little bit. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:21 So this morning it was breakfast, and we&#39;re sitting around the breakfast table, and my son is sitting away from these sliding glass doors and it lets in all this light. And it was just one of those moments where I like looked at him and the light was hitting in his face and he was eating his cereal and he was just it just like his beauty, like just it&#39;s just magic. It was just one of those magical moments. And I looked right at him and I said, Emmett, I want you to know that you&#39;re beautiful and daddy loves you very much. And he turned his head towards me and he locked eyes at me and he went, butthole. Gavin: 0:58 I kind of wish he had turned to you and said, Why do you refer to yourself in the third person? But butthole&#39;s butthole. David: 1:05 But it was such a perfect, perfect moment where I&#39;m trying to have this earnest moment with this three-year-old, and he just wanted to say butthole to me because he knows it didn&#39;t work. Gavin: 1:13 I think that you and I have had exchanges like that before, where I&#39;m trying to say something sincere and earnest. And so I&#39;m glad what goes around comes around. But that&#39;s absolutely you know, this morning I was sitting around um having breakfast, probably about four and a half hours before you were with a middle schooler, and um she suddenly said to me, You know what? I&#39;m amazing. And I&#39;m like, Yes, girl, yes, you are. I&#39;m I&#39;m glad you&#39;re saying that. You you are amazing. And she just goes, Yeah, I know, dad. That&#39;s why I said it. David: 1:46 I kind of wish when she had said that, you turned to her and said, Oh, honey, no, you&#39;re not. Gavin: 1:51 Well, we have had a tense household for the last 24 hours because of tween attitude. So I admit, in my mind, I was kind of like, Yeah, but you weren&#39;t so amazing last night. Or you were more amazing yesterday morning than you are this morning. But I&#39;m glad that you are you are embracing your amazingness. Good for you, girl. Good for you. David: 2:13 Gavin, what age, so when you were when you would like fantasize about, not fantasize, but when you kind of dream about being a very young, very, very young. But when you would think about that being a dad, like when you&#39;re like, hmm, someday I&#39;m gonna be a dad, what age were the kids in that dream? Gavin: 2:28 Hmm. Probably, probably two and three and four years old. Because that&#39;s just what you think of as parenthood. Your default age is having little kids. David: 2:39 Well, I&#39;ve been asking this question a lot because to me, I feel the same way. I was actually thinking like actually four to five-ish, but generally kind of like a little preschooler kind of kid, kindergarten. That&#39;s default. Gavin: 2:50 That is that is central casting for children, is preschool. David: 2:54 But but what I&#39;m but what I found is that men, the men I talk to, usually say some sort of preschool like tick him to Disney or go on the rides age. All the women I&#39;ve talked to, every woman has said baby, like infant, holding in her hands. And that&#39;s really fascinating because when I thought about being a dad, I never imagined a baby involved. Now I realize that you have to do the baby until you get to the toddler. But it was it&#39;s just it was just, I don&#39;t know, I put it on our list to talk about because I thought it was really fascinating that like men were thinking about this like preschool age, and then like women were thinking about this baby. Gavin: 3:27 Yeah. And I wonder if that&#39;s because it&#39;s the most idealized time. I mean, even preschoolers are a complete pain in the ass, but they&#39;re adorable pains in the ass. And so you just like it&#39;s the quintessential parenting experience. David: 3:41 Speaking of preschoolers, so we are towards the tail end of our potty training journey. And I thought just for the next few minutes before we jump into our top three, we could talk a little bit about potty training in general because I am so my son is potty training, and he now uses the potty fully. Um, no diapers. However, nighttime, we are still at the tail end of like we&#39;re waking him up once a night usually to go use the potty. Other than that, like there&#39;s no wet beds or whatever, and we haven&#39;t quite figured out how to just let him sleep through the night and see like when that happens. But the thing that made me think about this was like my house is covered in piss. Gavin: 4:23 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then you had kids. David: 4:26 And then we had kids, and now there&#39;s more piss. But we&#39;re like, you know, pee in the little hole in the toilet. We&#39;d like try to do little things, but like, you know, boys, they just they just kind of fire hose it all, and it is so disgusting. Gavin: 4:39 We are disgusting. I are disgusting. Every single time I get down on my hands and knees to clean the toilet, and I see that crustaceous, that yellow film on the you know, the back of the toilet where the bolts are, and you think, we are disgusting. Horrible. David: 4:59 We don&#39;t deserve anything we have. We&#39;re disgusting. Gavin: 5:02 Nothing. And but also teaching my children to be like, well now we gotta clean up. And and teaching my son, you know what, in the morning, you might want to sit down to pee when you&#39;re still half asleep. Like, and you know, everything kind of needs to be shaken awake. Uh let&#39;s not shake the dingle all uh all over the toilet, all over the bathroom, you know? David: 5:25 Yeah, instead, do you know your morning pee. Go into the shower and do a handstand so you can pee quickly. Exactly. But there&#39;s so there&#39;s so many methods for potty training. Uh and and and I&#39;m curious if you do the same method we did. We did like the three-day naked method where like you do it over a weekend, and on Friday, they&#39;re not allowed to wear any clothes and you&#39;re indoors all day, and you basically watch them like a hawk. And when the second they start peeing, or they have that you know, I&#39;m about to pee face, you grab them, you run them to the toilet, you sit them down on the toilet, and then they pee. And the idea is that that whole day you start to connect for them the idea and the feeling of peeing and being on the toilet. So day one is they&#39;re naked all day, and you&#39;re just doing that. They literally like don&#39;t go outside, don&#39;t put a shirt on him. Yeah, he is naked the whole day. And then day two, they&#39;re allowed to wear clothes but no underwear. But it&#39;s the same thing where you have to watch them like a hawk, and the second they start peeing or they have that face, you run them to the toilet, and then after that, they start to associate it, and then it&#39;s kind of like a slow, then you can wear underwear and then whatever. And we had been told by everybody we asked, they&#39;re like, this is the method, this is the method. So we did it, and I gotta say, it worked perfectly for us. Like, it was wonderful. What did you do? Gavin: 6:41 Well, first of all, I think as with so much of parenting, it&#39;s what works for you, and you just gotta be zen about it. You have to be zen about it because you&#39;re gonna be doing extra laundry for a very long time. And man, we I think with it, we went through um an awful lot of middle of the night peeing, an awful lot of it. And I would get frustrated, and yet at the same time, I it was one of my better parenting moments of being just being like, oh, here we go again. Because we had an awful lot of peeing. But I will say we tried to do that three-day method, and the very first day my partner was standing with uh our uh kid in front of him, and uh I it&#39;s hard to explain what this, but they were looking out a window together. So the kid&#39;s butt was toward my partner, right? And suddenly the kid goes, uh, and and my partner starts to be like, oh, are we gonna and then it was not explosive diarrhea, but an ex like a missile of poop shot out of the butt onto his shirt. Like it and there was no there was no warning. It ju except for just like a oh, and it shot out. And you would have thought that the kid had reached over to grab their ankles to shoot it out? No, somehow, in squished butt cheeks, a but a poop missile shot out. At which point my partner was like, I&#39;m out. This is I&#39;m we&#39;re not doing this. Now, admittedly, we were trying to uh potty train before we probably should have. Another guest that we&#39;re gonna have pretty soon, I will mention this, said to me one time, I will mention this to her, said to me, Gavin, stop thinking that you need to potty train a boy before the age of three. It just just don&#39;t just save yourself the trouble, save yourself the trouble. And so we then didn&#39;t push it. And eventually my son was ready to tell us when he was done. And he it was actually really fluid. If you don&#39;t push it, fluid, pun intended. If you just don&#39;t push it, I think. David: 8:43 Anyway, that&#39;s the problem. The book with the book that we read that everyone was like swearing by, which I think is called oh crap, it says, if you wait too long, if the if your kid is three, they&#39;re like, You&#39;re you&#39;ve you&#39;ve missed the boat. And so we panicked because we didn&#39;t even know when to do it. And our preschool was like, Oh, if he wants to move to the next class, he needs to be potty trained. I guess we&#39;ll do it. Then we read the book and we were like, fuck, we are so behind. So I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 9:07 Is he but is he peeing the bed now or maybe a little bit? David: 9:10 No, he did he isn&#39;t, but we&#39;re still waking him up at night. Gavin: 9:12 Oh, right, right, right. You know, uh some advice that I got uh from a friend that seemed a bit cruel, and maybe the International Criminal Court might be calling us after admitting this. But she set an alarm on her phone at 4 30 in the afternoon and said, no more water after this because her kid was going to bed at like 7 30. And I started doing that too, and it did work. It didn&#39;t work. David: 9:33 That&#39;s the most helpful thing for us for sure, is like after dinner, literally no liquids. And of course, inevitably, it his mouth is the Sahara Desert after that. He&#39;s like, I&#39;m so thirsty. I&#39;m like, you can&#39;t have anything. Um, well, I&#39;m glad that we solved this. Gavin: 9:46 So absolved, as always with Gage Rex, we have solved absolutely nothing. David: 9:51 We&#39;ve just complained about our problem. So uh with that, let&#39;s uh jump into our top three. Gabin, this week is your list. What is our list? Gavin: 9:59 So, our top three list, we were on a vacation theme last time, and I want to, and we complain about our vacations a lot. I want to know what are the top three successful vacations you have had with kids. Number three for me is just road tripping. Avoiding any kind of plane situation whatsoever and taking a long weekend and just staying at basically Motel Sixes along the highway and road tripping, and that means an awful lot of bad uh and yet I mean obviously awesome fast food. Literally just road trips. Don&#39;t think of anything as a destination, just think of your vacation as the journey, and that always works for us, frankly, still at this age. Number two, recently we went to Cancun, all inclusive. Because you&#39;re rich. Because we were pretending to live the lives that we deserve, and I am definitely paying for it in the end. But I gotta say, I don&#39;t regret it until my credit card bill comes through. Although we did use the points. Anyway, I um I digress. At the age of nine and eleven, when I can just say to my kids, this fuck off and go eat ice cream all day long, and then they would keep coming up to me and saying, Can we go have more ice cream? And I&#39;m like, don&#39;t ask me, because then I&#39;m gonna say, no, you need to go have some a salad first. Just go do it. Just go do it. It&#39;s all inclusive, bitch. Keep going. Yeah. Exactly. I do have to say, I&#39;m totally against um uh all inclusives uh because of the exploiting labor and the environmental cost, and yet at the same time, like we say on Gatriarchs, I&#39;m a complete hypocrite. It was great one time, and I&#39;m going to go donate to the Sierra Club after this. And finally, number one, it&#39;s just a hotel with a pool. Doesn&#39;t matter where my kids just want a pool all the time. It can be a Motel 6 on the side of the road, and that is their ideal vacation. What about you, David Evan Bond? David: 11:41 So I have very young kids, as we know, so we haven&#39;t really taken a lot of vacations, unfortunately. Um, we there&#39;s something we talk about where like we need to push out of our comfort zone. But uh, and number three for us was we went to Florida for Christmas last year, and there was just not enough space in the both the hotel we were at and then at my mom&#39;s house. And we just were like, I don&#39;t know, Hannah maybe sleeps in the closet. And we put her little pack and play in the closet, and it was so wonderful because it was a great kind of ripping the band-aid off of like, your kids can sleep anywhere, they will be fine. And my son slept in a big bed, like a regular bed with no crib rails, really no one. We just added like a an outline of pillows so we didn&#39;t roll off, and I was so terrified, he went right to sleep, and it was totally fine. And so it was a really good moment for us to kind of be like, your kids will be fine. Um, number two for me was uh a friend of mine, uh, actually, you know this person, um, has owns a he owns an island um in the middle of this gorgeous lake, and we went to his lake house, and it was the same thing where like we had never had naps somewhere else, and we were so nervous, and oh, he&#39;s in a different location or whatever. And so we put him down for his nap. He went right to sleep. Yeah, he was fine. He slept for two hours, he woke up, and so I it was but it was so wonderful because we were out of our comfort zone, he was in a different bed, we were eating different food, we were swimming in a lake. It was so so great. So um, that was number two. And number one for me, it may sound silly, but was the first two days after our kids were born when we were in the hotel next to the hospital, and our kids actually slept in the drawers of the bureau. We pulled a drawer out, we put a blanket in, and we laid our baby inside. And it was just this it was almost like this is a weird way to say this, but it felt like camping where like me and my husband were up in the middle of the night at this hotel feeding this baby. Yep. We&#39;re or it&#39;s just this adventure, it was the beginning of this beautiful adventure together. So, and number one for me was those first two days in the hospital with our kids sleeping in the drawers. I&#39;ll post when this episode airs, I&#39;ll post the photo of Hannah, my uh daughter, in the drawer of the bureau at the hospital. Um, okay, so uh next week, our top three list came from a listener. Now I got a message um through from one of our...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son thinks he&apos;s hilarious, we talk potty training and why our houses are covered in piss, and this week&apos;s guest is certified sexologist Zöe Kors, who talks us through why nobody wants to have sex with Gavin. Thanks for l]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son thinks he&apos;s hilarious, we talk potty training and why our houses are covered in piss, and this week&apos;s guest is certified sexologist Zöe Kors, who talks us through why nobody wants to have sex with Gavin. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Can we stop talking to your Volva about your Volva, please? Just talking about pounding asses a little bit. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:21 So this morning it was breakfast, and we&#39;re sitting around the breakfast table, and my son is sitting away from these sliding glass doors and it lets in all this light. And it was just one of those moments where I like looked at him and the light was hitting in his face and he was eating his cereal and he was just it just like his beauty, like just it&#39;s just magic. It was just one of those magical moments. And I looked right at him and I said, Emmett, I want you to know that you&#39;re beautiful and daddy loves you very much. And he turned his head towards me and he locked eyes at me and he went, butthole. Gavin: 0:58 I kind of wish he had turned to you and said, Why do you refer to yourself in the third person? But butthole&#39;s butthole. David: 1:05 But it was such a perfect, perfect moment where I&#39;m trying to have this earnest moment with this three-year-old, and he just wanted to say butthole to me because he knows it didn&#39;t work. Gavin: 1:13 I think that you and I have had exchanges like that before, where I&#39;m trying to say something sincere and earnest. And so I&#39;m glad what goes around comes around. But that&#39;s absolutely you know, this morning I was sitting around um having breakfast, probably about four and a half hours before you were with a middle schooler, and um she suddenly said to me, You know what? I&#39;m amazing. And I&#39;m like, Yes, girl, yes, you are. I&#39;m I&#39;m glad you&#39;re saying that. You you are amazing. And she just goes, Yeah, I know, dad. That&#39;s why I said it. David: 1:46 I kind of wish when she had said that, you turned to her and said, Oh, honey, no, you&#39;re not. Gavin: 1:51 Well, we have had a tense household for the last 24 hours because of tween attitude. So I admit, in my mind, I was kind of like, Yeah, but you weren&#39;t so amazing last night. Or you were more amazing yesterday morning than you are this morning. But I&#39;m glad that you are you are embracing your amazingness. Good for you, girl. Good for you. David: 2:13 Gavin, what age, so when you were when you would like fantasize about, not fantasize, but when you kind of dream about being a very young, very, very young. But when you would think about that being a dad, like when you&#39;re like, hmm, someday I&#39;m gonna be a dad, what age were the kids in that dream? Gavin: 2:28 Hmm. Probably, probably two and three and four years old. Because that&#39;s just what you think of as parenthood. Your default age is having little kids. David: 2:39 Well, I&#39;ve been asking this question a lot because to me, I feel the same way. I was actually thinking like actually four to five-ish, but generally kind of like a little preschooler kind of kid, kindergarten. That&#39;s default. Gavin: 2:50 That is that is central casting for children, is preschool. David: 2:54 But but what I&#39;m but what I found is that men, the men I talk to, usually say some sort of preschool like tick him to Disney or go on the rides age. All the women I&#39;ve talked to, every woman has said baby, like infant, holding in her hands. And that&#39;s really fascinating because when I thought about being a dad, I never imagined a baby involved. Now I realize that you have to do the baby until you get to the toddler. But it was it&#39;s just it was just, I don&#39;t know, I put it on our list to talk about because I thought it was really fascinating that like men were thinking about this like preschool age, and then like women were thinking about this baby. Gavin: 3:27 Yeah. And I wonder if that&#39;s because it&#39;s the most idealized time. I mean, even preschoolers are a complete pain in the ass, but they&#39;re adorable pains in the ass. And so you just like it&#39;s the quintessential parenting experience. David: 3:41 Speaking of preschoolers, so we are towards the tail end of our potty training journey. And I thought just for the next few minutes before we jump into our top three, we could talk a little bit about potty training in general because I am so my son is potty training, and he now uses the potty fully. Um, no diapers. However, nighttime, we are still at the tail end of like we&#39;re waking him up once a night usually to go use the potty. Other than that, like there&#39;s no wet beds or whatever, and we haven&#39;t quite figured out how to just let him sleep through the night and see like when that happens. But the thing that made me think about this was like my house is covered in piss. Gavin: 4:23 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then you had kids. David: 4:26 And then we had kids, and now there&#39;s more piss. But we&#39;re like, you know, pee in the little hole in the toilet. We&#39;d like try to do little things, but like, you know, boys, they just they just kind of fire hose it all, and it is so disgusting. Gavin: 4:39 We are disgusting. I are disgusting. Every single time I get down on my hands and knees to clean the toilet, and I see that crustaceous, that yellow film on the you know, the back of the toilet where the bolts are, and you think, we are disgusting. Horrible. David: 4:59 We don&#39;t deserve anything we have. We&#39;re disgusting. Gavin: 5:02 Nothing. And but also teaching my children to be like, well now we gotta clean up. And and teaching my son, you know what, in the morning, you might want to sit down to pee when you&#39;re still half asleep. Like, and you know, everything kind of needs to be shaken awake. Uh let&#39;s not shake the dingle all uh all over the toilet, all over the bathroom, you know? David: 5:25 Yeah, instead, do you know your morning pee. Go into the shower and do a handstand so you can pee quickly. Exactly. But there&#39;s so there&#39;s so many methods for potty training. Uh and and and I&#39;m curious if you do the same method we did. We did like the three-day naked method where like you do it over a weekend, and on Friday, they&#39;re not allowed to wear any clothes and you&#39;re indoors all day, and you basically watch them like a hawk. And when the second they start peeing, or they have that you know, I&#39;m about to pee face, you grab them, you run them to the toilet, you sit them down on the toilet, and then they pee. And the idea is that that whole day you start to connect for them the idea and the feeling of peeing and being on the toilet. So day one is they&#39;re naked all day, and you&#39;re just doing that. They literally like don&#39;t go outside, don&#39;t put a shirt on him. Yeah, he is naked the whole day. And then day two, they&#39;re allowed to wear clothes but no underwear. But it&#39;s the same thing where you have to watch them like a hawk, and the second they start peeing or they have that face, you run them to the toilet, and then after that, they start to associate it, and then it&#39;s kind of like a slow, then you can wear underwear and then whatever. And we had been told by everybody we asked, they&#39;re like, this is the method, this is the method. So we did it, and I gotta say, it worked perfectly for us. Like, it was wonderful. What did you do? Gavin: 6:41 Well, first of all, I think as with so much of parenting, it&#39;s what works for you, and you just gotta be zen about it. You have to be zen about it because you&#39;re gonna be doing extra laundry for a very long time. And man, we I think with it, we went through um an awful lot of middle of the night peeing, an awful lot of it. And I would get frustrated, and yet at the same time, I it was one of my better parenting moments of being just being like, oh, here we go again. Because we had an awful lot of peeing. But I will say we tried to do that three-day method, and the very first day my partner was standing with uh our uh kid in front of him, and uh I it&#39;s hard to explain what this, but they were looking out a window together. So the kid&#39;s butt was toward my partner, right? And suddenly the kid goes, uh, and and my partner starts to be like, oh, are we gonna and then it was not explosive diarrhea, but an ex like a missile of poop shot out of the butt onto his shirt. Like it and there was no there was no warning. It ju except for just like a oh, and it shot out. And you would have thought that the kid had reached over to grab their ankles to shoot it out? No, somehow, in squished butt cheeks, a but a poop missile shot out. At which point my partner was like, I&#39;m out. This is I&#39;m we&#39;re not doing this. Now, admittedly, we were trying to uh potty train before we probably should have. Another guest that we&#39;re gonna have pretty soon, I will mention this, said to me one time, I will mention this to her, said to me, Gavin, stop thinking that you need to potty train a boy before the age of three. It just just don&#39;t just save yourself the trouble, save yourself the trouble. And so we then didn&#39;t push it. And eventually my son was ready to tell us when he was done. And he it was actually really fluid. If you don&#39;t push it, fluid, pun intended. If you just don&#39;t push it, I think. David: 8:43 Anyway, that&#39;s the problem. The book with the book that we read that everyone was like swearing by, which I think is called oh crap, it says, if you wait too long, if the if your kid is three, they&#39;re like, You&#39;re you&#39;ve you&#39;ve missed the boat. And so we panicked because we didn&#39;t even know when to do it. And our preschool was like, Oh, if he wants to move to the next class, he needs to be potty trained. I guess we&#39;ll do it. Then we read the book and we were like, fuck, we are so behind. So I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 9:07 Is he but is he peeing the bed now or maybe a little bit? David: 9:10 No, he did he isn&#39;t, but we&#39;re still waking him up at night. Gavin: 9:12 Oh, right, right, right. You know, uh some advice that I got uh from a friend that seemed a bit cruel, and maybe the International Criminal Court might be calling us after admitting this. But she set an alarm on her phone at 4 30 in the afternoon and said, no more water after this because her kid was going to bed at like 7 30. And I started doing that too, and it did work. It didn&#39;t work. David: 9:33 That&#39;s the most helpful thing for us for sure, is like after dinner, literally no liquids. And of course, inevitably, it his mouth is the Sahara Desert after that. He&#39;s like, I&#39;m so thirsty. I&#39;m like, you can&#39;t have anything. Um, well, I&#39;m glad that we solved this. Gavin: 9:46 So absolved, as always with Gage Rex, we have solved absolutely nothing. David: 9:51 We&#39;ve just complained about our problem. So uh with that, let&#39;s uh jump into our top three. Gabin, this week is your list. What is our list? Gavin: 9:59 So, our top three list, we were on a vacation theme last time, and I want to, and we complain about our vacations a lot. I want to know what are the top three successful vacations you have had with kids. Number three for me is just road tripping. Avoiding any kind of plane situation whatsoever and taking a long weekend and just staying at basically Motel Sixes along the highway and road tripping, and that means an awful lot of bad uh and yet I mean obviously awesome fast food. Literally just road trips. Don&#39;t think of anything as a destination, just think of your vacation as the journey, and that always works for us, frankly, still at this age. Number two, recently we went to Cancun, all inclusive. Because you&#39;re rich. Because we were pretending to live the lives that we deserve, and I am definitely paying for it in the end. But I gotta say, I don&#39;t regret it until my credit card bill comes through. Although we did use the points. Anyway, I um I digress. At the age of nine and eleven, when I can just say to my kids, this fuck off and go eat ice cream all day long, and then they would keep coming up to me and saying, Can we go have more ice cream? And I&#39;m like, don&#39;t ask me, because then I&#39;m gonna say, no, you need to go have some a salad first. Just go do it. Just go do it. It&#39;s all inclusive, bitch. Keep going. Yeah. Exactly. I do have to say, I&#39;m totally against um uh all inclusives uh because of the exploiting labor and the environmental cost, and yet at the same time, like we say on Gatriarchs, I&#39;m a complete hypocrite. It was great one time, and I&#39;m going to go donate to the Sierra Club after this. And finally, number one, it&#39;s just a hotel with a pool. Doesn&#39;t matter where my kids just want a pool all the time. It can be a Motel 6 on the side of the road, and that is their ideal vacation. What about you, David Evan Bond? David: 11:41 So I have very young kids, as we know, so we haven&#39;t really taken a lot of vacations, unfortunately. Um, we there&#39;s something we talk about where like we need to push out of our comfort zone. But uh, and number three for us was we went to Florida for Christmas last year, and there was just not enough space in the both the hotel we were at and then at my mom&#39;s house. And we just were like, I don&#39;t know, Hannah maybe sleeps in the closet. And we put her little pack and play in the closet, and it was so wonderful because it was a great kind of ripping the band-aid off of like, your kids can sleep anywhere, they will be fine. And my son slept in a big bed, like a regular bed with no crib rails, really no one. We just added like a an outline of pillows so we didn&#39;t roll off, and I was so terrified, he went right to sleep, and it was totally fine. And so it was a really good moment for us to kind of be like, your kids will be fine. Um, number two for me was uh a friend of mine, uh, actually, you know this person, um, has owns a he owns an island um in the middle of this gorgeous lake, and we went to his lake house, and it was the same thing where like we had never had naps somewhere else, and we were so nervous, and oh, he&#39;s in a different location or whatever. And so we put him down for his nap. He went right to sleep. Yeah, he was fine. He slept for two hours, he woke up, and so I it was but it was so wonderful because we were out of our comfort zone, he was in a different bed, we were eating different food, we were swimming in a lake. It was so so great. So um, that was number two. And number one for me, it may sound silly, but was the first two days after our kids were born when we were in the hotel next to the hospital, and our kids actually slept in the drawers of the bureau. We pulled a drawer out, we put a blanket in, and we laid our baby inside. And it was just this it was almost like this is a weird way to say this, but it felt like camping where like me and my husband were up in the middle of the night at this hotel feeding this baby. Yep. We&#39;re or it&#39;s just this adventure, it was the beginning of this beautiful adventure together. So, and number one for me was those first two days in the hospital with our kids sleeping in the drawers. I&#39;ll post when this episode airs, I&#39;ll post the photo of Hannah, my uh daughter, in the drawer of the bureau at the hospital. Um, okay, so uh next week, our top three list came from a listener. Now I got a message um through from one of our...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son thinks he&apos;s hilarious, we talk potty training and why our houses are covered in piss, and this week&apos;s guest is certified sexologist Zöe Kors, who talks us through why nobody wants to have sex with Gavin. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Can we stop talking to your Volva about your Volva, please? Just talking about pounding asses a little bit. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:21 So this morning it was breakfast, and we&#39;re sitting around the breakfast table, and my son is sitting away from these sliding glass doors and it lets in all this light. And it was just one of those moments where I like looked at him and the light was hitting in his face and he was eating his cereal and he was just it just like his beauty, like just it&#39;s just magic. It was just one of those magical moments. And I looked right at him and I said, Emmett, I want you to know that you&#39;re beautiful and daddy loves you very much. And he turned his head towards me and he locked eyes at me and he went, butthole. Gavin: 0:58 I kind of wish he had turned to you and said, Why do you refer to yourself in the third person? But butthole&#39;s butthole. David: 1:05 But it was such a perfect, perfect moment where I&#39;m trying to have this earnest moment with this three-year-old, and he just wanted to say butthole to me because he knows it didn&#39;t work. Gavin: 1:13 I think that you and I have had exchanges like that before, where I&#39;m trying to say something sincere and earnest. And so I&#39;m glad what goes around comes around. But that&#39;s absolutely you know, this morning I was sitting around um having breakfast, probably about four and a half hours before you were with a middle schooler, and um she suddenly said to me, You know what? I&#39;m amazing. And I&#39;m like, Yes, girl, yes, you are. I&#39;m I&#39;m glad you&#39;re saying that. You you are amazing. And she just goes, Yeah, I know, dad. That&#39;s why I said it. David: 1:46 I kind of wish when she had said that, you turned to her and said, Oh, honey, no, you&#39;re not. Gavin: 1:51 Well, we have had a tense household for the last 24 hours because of tween attitude. So I admit, in my mind, I was kind of like, Yeah, but you weren&#39;t so amazing last night. Or you were more amazing yesterday morning than you are this morning. But I&#39;m glad that you are you are embracing your amazingness. Good for you, girl. Good for you. David: 2:13 Gavin, what age, so when you were when you would like fantasize about, not fantasize, but when you kind of dream about being a very young, very, very young. But when you would think about that being a dad, like when you&#39;re like, hmm, someday I&#39;m gonna be a dad, what age were the kids in that dream? Gavin: 2:28 Hmm. Probably, probably two and three and four years old. Because that&#39;s just what you think of as parenthood. Your default age is having little kids. David: 2:39 Well, I&#39;ve been asking this question a lot because to me, I feel the same way. I was actually thinking like actually four to five-ish, but generally kind of like a little preschooler kind of kid, kindergarten. That&#39;s default. Gavin: 2:50 That is that is central casting for children, is preschool. David: 2:54 But but what I&#39;m but what I found is that men, the men I talk to, usually say some sort of preschool like tick him to Disney or go on the rides age. All the women I&#39;ve talked to, every woman has said baby, like infant, holding in her hands. And that&#39;s really fascinating because when I thought about being a dad, I never imagined a baby involved. Now I realize that you have to do the baby until you get to the toddler. But it was it&#39;s just it was just, I don&#39;t kn]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, David&apos;s son thinks he&apos;s hilarious, we talk potty training and why our houses are covered in piss, and this week&apos;s guest is certified sexologist Zöe Kors, who talks us through why nobody wants to have sex with Gavin. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Can we stop talking to your Volva about your Volva, please? Just talking about pounding asses a little bit. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:21 So this morning it was breakfast, and we&#39;re sitting around the breakfast table, and my son is sitting away from these sliding glass doors and it lets in all this light. And it was just one of those moments where I like looked at him and the light was hitting in his face and he was eating his cereal and he was just it j]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Haven Burton</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-haven-burton/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is back from vacation and not eating like it, we share our top 3 favorite quotes of all time, and are joined by the woman with a golden voice Haven Burton to talk about parenting kids with disabilities, dealing with professional-grade poop, and of course, fangirl&apos;ing Legally Blonde. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Okay, okay, get let&#39;s get to it. Let&#39;s get to it, Kakapupi. Ready? All right, here we go. You ready, Haven? SPEAKER_01: 0:04 I&#39;m fucking ready. Gavin: 0:06 And this is gator arcs. So we got to get away last week on spring break. And we spent money that we didn&#39;t have. But, you know, that is the American way. And we were at a uh an all-inclusive hotel. And I just walked around lecturing my kids about how we were exploiting the people and the environment the entire time. And my 11-year-old actually turns to me and she&#39;s like, Dad. You chose this vacation for us. And I was like, I know, but we don&#39;t have to like it. Wow. And there we are, like heaps of food, of course. And uh my kids are still just eating pancakes and bacon the entire time. Now, I know we going into this, I was like, one of the reasons I chose this was I didn&#39;t feel like choosing battles, or I didn&#39;t choose feel like having battles. And I&#39;m like, you can eat whatever the hell you want. You can eat ice cream all day long, that&#39;s all I care about. Except for the fact that I still want you to have uh like regular bowel movements and I want you to be able to eat a fucking vegetable, right? And um, and there we are though, still having food battles with my middle schooler, where I&#39;m like, don&#39;t you want to live a little? Don&#39;t you want to eat something different besides pancakes and bacon? And but why would anybody want to eat pancakes and bacon? But then she said to me, Dad, this is like the middle school. If I don&#39;t want to eat what they have, like fish sticks and salad, we have options. I&#39;m like, oh, interesting that you have what are the other options? Hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza. Yeah, always. I&#39;m like, how am I supposed to teach my kids any good eating habits when their default at the school is hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza? I love hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza like the next guy, but I also know that we cannot live on that. And that&#39;s the problem with our entire country, is that all that&#39;s all we eat, and we don&#39;t teach our kids any actual eating habits. David: 2:03 Listen, this is my problem with daycare too. As I&#39;ve said many, many times, like I am constantly putting good food in the daycare, and every day he&#39;s like, I had six chocolate donuts today because it was Stevie&#39;s birthday. I was like, fuck Stevie, fuck Stevie and their birthday. Gavin: 2:15 Yep. David: 2:15 Yeah. Gavin: 2:16 It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s so and we are so preoccupied with raising good eaters, and we go to all the top ten lists of how you raise a good eater, then ultimately our entire society is against us actually raising good eaters. And it is infuriating because I mean, we adults are I mean, as Americans, we&#39;re pretty bad eaters as it is, and um uh it&#39;s just it&#39;s an uphill battle, but um, but I&#39;m gonna keep waging it. Let me tell you what. Along those lines, then it does remind me of um all of the top ten ways. I mean, I wrote them when I was blogging a few years ago, um, talking about the top ten ways to like raise good eaters and whatnot. And I did have some pretty good um successes. And uh in the grand scheme of things, we don&#39;t have tears at the table unless I put fish on the table. And then my kids have decided that they don&#39;t like fish even though they used to eat it. But I am so tired. I wonder if we&#39;re getting out of the era of top ten ways to do this, that, and the other. David: 3:10 I mean Gavin, you realize that we have a top three list on this podcast, right? Like we are we are part of the problem. Gavin: 3:18 It&#39;s not advice uh kind of. David: 3:20 If anybody&#39;s listening to this podcast for advice, I&#39;m so sorry. Please don&#39;t. We are nothing but hypocrites. Hypocrites and liars and disgusting. Gavin: 3:28 Yeah, that&#39;s what it is. But you know, it is it is exasperating that we um we try to get all of the information as as quickly as we can and all the latest research and whatnot that is always in top 10 form. And um, it&#39;s the only way we have any attention span to be able to absorb anything, but it is exhausting because parenting, every generation of parents, meaning like every two years we have a new batch of new people giving new advice, and um there&#39;s gotta be a stop to that. David: 3:53 But I mean, but isn&#39;t there isn&#39;t the point that like I don&#39;t have time to spend a week reading this book? I literally and even these top ten articles you&#39;re talking about, do you re ever read anything under the bold? No, no. The bold is number one, feed them grapes. And then if my brain goes, I don&#39;t want to do that, I just move on to the next thing, and maybe I&#39;ll read the next thing. But like, it is it&#39;s like recipes, it&#39;s like just fucking tell me the things. But I think it&#39;s time, right? And also, people are in the like, why won&#39;t my kid go to bed? Just give me the 10 reasons that I can try really quick. I don&#39;t have time to read a whole book. Gavin: 4:24 But but it and it I I agree. So I&#39;m introducing this segment, like panning it, but at the same time, it is frustrating because that&#39;s all we can do. Um, but you know, I think I&#39;ve probably already mentioned the one book, the only book that I think anybody needs to read, honestly, as a parent, is bringing up baby. And it is about how the French are the French French parenting is an awful lot of like kids should be seen and never heard, and they don&#39;t actually engage with their kids quite as much as we do. But they&#39;re also like limits, limits, limits. Just draw these limits, boom, done. And there isn&#39;t any it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s very simple, but it&#39;s very hard. And you have to stay consistent in the streets. But that&#39;s the hard part, right? David: 5:05 Is that like after like night 57 of crying because I want chicken nuggets for breakfast? At some point, any adult fucking breaks. It&#39;s just not possible. Gavin: 5:17 But in that book, the French are like, oh no, no, no, no. We lock them in their room and we take a sleeping pill, and everything&#39;s fine the next day. David: 5:24 And you know what? The French there&#39;s there&#39;s a lot to unpack there. Um There is just taking sleeping pills. There is wait, can I tell you? Did I ever tell this story where I have a friend who is uh born and raised in Sweden and then she came here when she was a young child, and she was telling us about how um Didn&#39;t I tell the story already? How when she was a kid, they lived in like an apartment building where there&#39;s like a big courtyard in the middle. And she&#39;s like, when I was crying all night, my mom would put me in like the like a like a stroller and wheel me out to the courtyard and then go back upstairs and go to sleep and leave me outside. And she&#39;s like, it&#39;s common for people to leave their kids outside while they go in, and I was like, that&#39;s not true. And then I went to Iceland that year, and I went and we were walking down the street, and there was this big cafe where people were having dinner, and there was like six fucking strollers outside. And my first thought was like, Oh, it&#39;s funny, because like Emma was talking about that, but that&#39;s not really real. I walk up, there are babies in those strollers. They fall on, we&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna go have a dinner, baby. I&#39;m just gonna leave you outside in a stroller. But like, it&#39;s clearly a cultural thing where like everyone&#39;s fine and we&#39;re good. But it like it blew my mind. I was like, people fucking just leave their babies outside. Genius. Three free babies in Iceland for those who are listening. Um, so I had this experience that I I hope I can teach myself from it. Where we were um, it was raining outside, and I like to open the sliding door and like us just sit by the door and like watch the rain come outside because I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m upset there&#39;s rain. And my son was like, I want to walk out there. And my first thought was like, No, stop, no, just stay in here. Because I was like, You&#39;re gonna get wet and whatever the ginger clothes and blah blah blah blah. And he kept saying, But I want to go out there, and I and I just had this moment when David, let him go. Yes, fucking rain. Because I thought about myself as a kid, I was like, I would want to go outside on the the deck and just like stomp around in the rain and have it rain on me. And I just had this moment of like let your kid just get messy in a thing, it really is not that big a deal to me, but my brain just kept saying, Can we just keep it under control so I don&#39;t have to do this? And I&#39;m so glad I allowed myself to just break myself from this like these binds that I give myself where I&#39;m I&#39;m trying to keep everything easy. But yeah, I was like, let this little moment of small magic come into this child&#39;s life. So I&#39;m gonna try to get better at that whenever they ask for something that would inconvenience me slightly, that I uh think about like, would this be enjoyable and maybe magical for them and allow that to happen? Gavin: 7:42 It&#39;s a universal metaphor that we all need to be able to let our kids jump in puddles. Because in the grand scheme of things, maybe on your if you&#39;re setting out and you&#39;re gonna spend four hours out walking around, yes, you probably don&#39;t want to get wet at the very beginning. But we it&#39;s it&#39;s a perfect metaphor that we all need to be able to jump in more puddles now. Absolutely. David: 8:01 So this week&#39;s our top three is my list, and it was my top three favorite quotes. No, they don&#39;t have to be parenting, they&#39;re just the quotes that kind of live rent-free in your head. So I will start. So uh number three for me is a quote from the three musketeers, and it&#39;s You&#39;ll soon learn, D&#39;Artagnan, that life isn&#39;t so black and white. And I don&#39;t know what about this stuck with me, but just the idea of like everything in life is so much more complicated and textured than you think. There is just nothing black and white in life, um, except the literal colors. So that&#39;s my uh third favorite quote. Number two, now this is a really long one, and I will read it, but it it it for whatever reason lived in my head. It&#39;s from Roseanne. Yes, Roseanne, the TV show. Now, yes, I get she&#39;s problematic. Let&#39;s just ignore all of that. This was my favorite accent from going up. And the idea is that their goal as parents uh was to improve the lives of their children by 50% over their own. And that has stuck with me, and I think about that quote every day. I&#39;m gonna read the full quote because I think it&#39;s beautiful. This is from the last episode of the show. Um and it is this. Dan and I always felt that it was our responsibility as parents to improve the lives of our children by 50% over our own. And we did. We didn&#39;t hit our children as we were hit. We didn&#39;t demand their unquestioning silence. We didn&#39;t teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife, I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress, and usually I failed by one outsider&#39;s standards or another. But I figured out that neither winning nor losing count for women like they do for men. We women are the ones who transform everything we touch, and nothing on earth is higher than that. And so I just love that quote. It is one of the best last episodes of any show I&#39;ve ever watched, and that is a a quote from it. So that&#39;s number two. Uh number one, my favorite quote, I think about it easily every day, is from my friend Liz, who I don&#39;t know if she listens to the podcast. I went to college with her very good friend. And we went to I came to her house one day and they her and her roommates had ordered pizza. And when I got there, the pizza had also got there and she paid for it. And my f my first question was like, Well, are you gonna get you know your roommate&#39;s portion of the the pizza money? And her quote was or the thing she said to me was David, sometimes you just pay for the pizza. And the thought of just like, yeah, instead of nickel and diming, sometimes you just are generous. Sometimes you just buy it and you don&#39;t ask anybody for anything, and you just do it. And I try to this sounds so silly, but I try to build my life on that, of the idea of like the kind good things you do, or the things that you can easily do, you just do. You don&#39;t ask anybody&#39;s permission, you don&#39;t ask for it back, you just pay for the pizza. So, number one, sometimes you just pay for the pizza. I love that. That&#39;s well done. Gavin: 10:57 Okay, so I&#39;m so glad that you brought sincerity to this. And you&#39;re slipping into that trap. I need to do that. That you don&#39;t just get to be the funny guy this time. Um, because basically mine are sincere too, basically. But the things that pop out in my mind for sure are um I&#39;m I&#39;m sorry, I&#39;m gonna make it a top three and a half on the top uh for number three and a half. Al Franken has this fantastic quote about politics, and he says, Republicans love their country the way four-year-olds love their parents, Democrats love their country the way adults love their parents. David: 11:33 Beautiful. Gavin: 11:34 And I think that is a great way of saying we have to accept the flaws and the warts and the yelling and the screaming and still love our parents, and that&#39;s a mature way of looking at it. So I love that one. I was lucky enough to work with Mike Nichols, um the famed director, who probably nobody on this podcast knows. But he was a really famous movie director and Broadway director, and he uh directed me in Spamalot. Not that he really I was a replacement, so whatever, he didn&#39;t know who I was, but I love that he said my number two quote is there are only three kinds of scenes seductions, fights, and negotiations. And he had a very direct, simple way of directing actors, and it was enough of the backstory, enough of this, that, and the other. Just like keep it simple. It&#39;s a seduction, it&#39;s a fight, or a negotiation. Boom, move on. Uh I uh of course I love my favorite tweet of all time. Number one is some person who said, and I&#39;m sure it was a younger person who didn&#39;t have kids, said, Parenting looks so hard. You have to traumatize your kids just enough to make sure they&#39;re funny. David: 12:41 I think that is so true. We talked about that in episode one, I remember with Craig. Yeah. Yeah. Gavin: 12:45 I know I I&#39;m bringing that up. Um, and then my half favorite here is just that um uh and it&#39;s not a quote. I&#39;m I&#39;m diverting just in the sense of, and it&#39;s sort of a something great, but don&#39;t know it&#39;s don&#39;t worry, it&#39;s not my something great. In my notes, I keep a running list of funny quotes that my kids say, and you can see it goes back to 2015, and I have quotes after quote after quote, and occasionally we go back and read them, and it&#39;s fucking hilarious. So, um, that is my quote, is not a quote, but just something we do to keep quotes, because it is so worth the effort of pulling out your phone, neglecting your kid for a little while, writing down something funny, and you&#39;ll be able to revisit it later....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week Gavin is back from vacation and not eating like it, we share our top 3 favorite quotes of all time, and are joined by the woman with a golden voice Haven Burton to talk about parenting kids with disabilities, dealing with professional-grade poo]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week Gavin is back from vacation and not eating like it, we share our top 3 favorite quotes of all time, and are joined by the woman with a golden voice Haven Burton to talk about parenting kids with disabilities, dealing with professional-grade poop, and of course, fangirl&apos;ing Legally Blonde. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Okay, okay, get let&#39;s get to it. Let&#39;s get to it, Kakapupi. Ready? All right, here we go. You ready, Haven? SPEAKER_01: 0:04 I&#39;m fucking ready. Gavin: 0:06 And this is gator arcs. So we got to get away last week on spring break. And we spent money that we didn&#39;t have. But, you know, that is the American way. And we were at a uh an all-inclusive hotel. And I just walked around lecturing my kids about how we were exploiting the people and the environment the entire time. And my 11-year-old actually turns to me and she&#39;s like, Dad. You chose this vacation for us. And I was like, I know, but we don&#39;t have to like it. Wow. And there we are, like heaps of food, of course. And uh my kids are still just eating pancakes and bacon the entire time. Now, I know we going into this, I was like, one of the reasons I chose this was I didn&#39;t feel like choosing battles, or I didn&#39;t choose feel like having battles. And I&#39;m like, you can eat whatever the hell you want. You can eat ice cream all day long, that&#39;s all I care about. Except for the fact that I still want you to have uh like regular bowel movements and I want you to be able to eat a fucking vegetable, right? And um, and there we are though, still having food battles with my middle schooler, where I&#39;m like, don&#39;t you want to live a little? Don&#39;t you want to eat something different besides pancakes and bacon? And but why would anybody want to eat pancakes and bacon? But then she said to me, Dad, this is like the middle school. If I don&#39;t want to eat what they have, like fish sticks and salad, we have options. I&#39;m like, oh, interesting that you have what are the other options? Hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza. Yeah, always. I&#39;m like, how am I supposed to teach my kids any good eating habits when their default at the school is hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza? I love hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza like the next guy, but I also know that we cannot live on that. And that&#39;s the problem with our entire country, is that all that&#39;s all we eat, and we don&#39;t teach our kids any actual eating habits. David: 2:03 Listen, this is my problem with daycare too. As I&#39;ve said many, many times, like I am constantly putting good food in the daycare, and every day he&#39;s like, I had six chocolate donuts today because it was Stevie&#39;s birthday. I was like, fuck Stevie, fuck Stevie and their birthday. Gavin: 2:15 Yep. David: 2:15 Yeah. Gavin: 2:16 It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s so and we are so preoccupied with raising good eaters, and we go to all the top ten lists of how you raise a good eater, then ultimately our entire society is against us actually raising good eaters. And it is infuriating because I mean, we adults are I mean, as Americans, we&#39;re pretty bad eaters as it is, and um uh it&#39;s just it&#39;s an uphill battle, but um, but I&#39;m gonna keep waging it. Let me tell you what. Along those lines, then it does remind me of um all of the top ten ways. I mean, I wrote them when I was blogging a few years ago, um, talking about the top ten ways to like raise good eaters and whatnot. And I did have some pretty good um successes. And uh in the grand scheme of things, we don&#39;t have tears at the table unless I put fish on the table. And then my kids have decided that they don&#39;t like fish even though they used to eat it. But I am so tired. I wonder if we&#39;re getting out of the era of top ten ways to do this, that, and the other. David: 3:10 I mean Gavin, you realize that we have a top three list on this podcast, right? Like we are we are part of the problem. Gavin: 3:18 It&#39;s not advice uh kind of. David: 3:20 If anybody&#39;s listening to this podcast for advice, I&#39;m so sorry. Please don&#39;t. We are nothing but hypocrites. Hypocrites and liars and disgusting. Gavin: 3:28 Yeah, that&#39;s what it is. But you know, it is it is exasperating that we um we try to get all of the information as as quickly as we can and all the latest research and whatnot that is always in top 10 form. And um, it&#39;s the only way we have any attention span to be able to absorb anything, but it is exhausting because parenting, every generation of parents, meaning like every two years we have a new batch of new people giving new advice, and um there&#39;s gotta be a stop to that. David: 3:53 But I mean, but isn&#39;t there isn&#39;t the point that like I don&#39;t have time to spend a week reading this book? I literally and even these top ten articles you&#39;re talking about, do you re ever read anything under the bold? No, no. The bold is number one, feed them grapes. And then if my brain goes, I don&#39;t want to do that, I just move on to the next thing, and maybe I&#39;ll read the next thing. But like, it is it&#39;s like recipes, it&#39;s like just fucking tell me the things. But I think it&#39;s time, right? And also, people are in the like, why won&#39;t my kid go to bed? Just give me the 10 reasons that I can try really quick. I don&#39;t have time to read a whole book. Gavin: 4:24 But but it and it I I agree. So I&#39;m introducing this segment, like panning it, but at the same time, it is frustrating because that&#39;s all we can do. Um, but you know, I think I&#39;ve probably already mentioned the one book, the only book that I think anybody needs to read, honestly, as a parent, is bringing up baby. And it is about how the French are the French French parenting is an awful lot of like kids should be seen and never heard, and they don&#39;t actually engage with their kids quite as much as we do. But they&#39;re also like limits, limits, limits. Just draw these limits, boom, done. And there isn&#39;t any it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s very simple, but it&#39;s very hard. And you have to stay consistent in the streets. But that&#39;s the hard part, right? David: 5:05 Is that like after like night 57 of crying because I want chicken nuggets for breakfast? At some point, any adult fucking breaks. It&#39;s just not possible. Gavin: 5:17 But in that book, the French are like, oh no, no, no, no. We lock them in their room and we take a sleeping pill, and everything&#39;s fine the next day. David: 5:24 And you know what? The French there&#39;s there&#39;s a lot to unpack there. Um There is just taking sleeping pills. There is wait, can I tell you? Did I ever tell this story where I have a friend who is uh born and raised in Sweden and then she came here when she was a young child, and she was telling us about how um Didn&#39;t I tell the story already? How when she was a kid, they lived in like an apartment building where there&#39;s like a big courtyard in the middle. And she&#39;s like, when I was crying all night, my mom would put me in like the like a like a stroller and wheel me out to the courtyard and then go back upstairs and go to sleep and leave me outside. And she&#39;s like, it&#39;s common for people to leave their kids outside while they go in, and I was like, that&#39;s not true. And then I went to Iceland that year, and I went and we were walking down the street, and there was this big cafe where people were having dinner, and there was like six fucking strollers outside. And my first thought was like, Oh, it&#39;s funny, because like Emma was talking about that, but that&#39;s not really real. I walk up, there are babies in those strollers. They fall on, we&#39;re like, I&#39;m gonna go have a dinner, baby. I&#39;m just gonna leave you outside in a stroller. But like, it&#39;s clearly a cultural thing where like everyone&#39;s fine and we&#39;re good. But it like it blew my mind. I was like, people fucking just leave their babies outside. Genius. Three free babies in Iceland for those who are listening. Um, so I had this experience that I I hope I can teach myself from it. Where we were um, it was raining outside, and I like to open the sliding door and like us just sit by the door and like watch the rain come outside because I&#39;m I&#39;m I&#39;m upset there&#39;s rain. And my son was like, I want to walk out there. And my first thought was like, No, stop, no, just stay in here. Because I was like, You&#39;re gonna get wet and whatever the ginger clothes and blah blah blah blah. And he kept saying, But I want to go out there, and I and I just had this moment when David, let him go. Yes, fucking rain. Because I thought about myself as a kid, I was like, I would want to go outside on the the deck and just like stomp around in the rain and have it rain on me. And I just had this moment of like let your kid just get messy in a thing, it really is not that big a deal to me, but my brain just kept saying, Can we just keep it under control so I don&#39;t have to do this? And I&#39;m so glad I allowed myself to just break myself from this like these binds that I give myself where I&#39;m I&#39;m trying to keep everything easy. But yeah, I was like, let this little moment of small magic come into this child&#39;s life. So I&#39;m gonna try to get better at that whenever they ask for something that would inconvenience me slightly, that I uh think about like, would this be enjoyable and maybe magical for them and allow that to happen? Gavin: 7:42 It&#39;s a universal metaphor that we all need to be able to let our kids jump in puddles. Because in the grand scheme of things, maybe on your if you&#39;re setting out and you&#39;re gonna spend four hours out walking around, yes, you probably don&#39;t want to get wet at the very beginning. But we it&#39;s it&#39;s a perfect metaphor that we all need to be able to jump in more puddles now. Absolutely. David: 8:01 So this week&#39;s our top three is my list, and it was my top three favorite quotes. No, they don&#39;t have to be parenting, they&#39;re just the quotes that kind of live rent-free in your head. So I will start. So uh number three for me is a quote from the three musketeers, and it&#39;s You&#39;ll soon learn, D&#39;Artagnan, that life isn&#39;t so black and white. And I don&#39;t know what about this stuck with me, but just the idea of like everything in life is so much more complicated and textured than you think. There is just nothing black and white in life, um, except the literal colors. So that&#39;s my uh third favorite quote. Number two, now this is a really long one, and I will read it, but it it it for whatever reason lived in my head. It&#39;s from Roseanne. Yes, Roseanne, the TV show. Now, yes, I get she&#39;s problematic. Let&#39;s just ignore all of that. This was my favorite accent from going up. And the idea is that their goal as parents uh was to improve the lives of their children by 50% over their own. And that has stuck with me, and I think about that quote every day. I&#39;m gonna read the full quote because I think it&#39;s beautiful. This is from the last episode of the show. Um and it is this. Dan and I always felt that it was our responsibility as parents to improve the lives of our children by 50% over our own. And we did. We didn&#39;t hit our children as we were hit. We didn&#39;t demand their unquestioning silence. We didn&#39;t teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife, I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress, and usually I failed by one outsider&#39;s standards or another. But I figured out that neither winning nor losing count for women like they do for men. We women are the ones who transform everything we touch, and nothing on earth is higher than that. And so I just love that quote. It is one of the best last episodes of any show I&#39;ve ever watched, and that is a a quote from it. So that&#39;s number two. Uh number one, my favorite quote, I think about it easily every day, is from my friend Liz, who I don&#39;t know if she listens to the podcast. I went to college with her very good friend. And we went to I came to her house one day and they her and her roommates had ordered pizza. And when I got there, the pizza had also got there and she paid for it. And my f my first question was like, Well, are you gonna get you know your roommate&#39;s portion of the the pizza money? And her quote was or the thing she said to me was David, sometimes you just pay for the pizza. And the thought of just like, yeah, instead of nickel and diming, sometimes you just are generous. Sometimes you just buy it and you don&#39;t ask anybody for anything, and you just do it. And I try to this sounds so silly, but I try to build my life on that, of the idea of like the kind good things you do, or the things that you can easily do, you just do. You don&#39;t ask anybody&#39;s permission, you don&#39;t ask for it back, you just pay for the pizza. So, number one, sometimes you just pay for the pizza. I love that. That&#39;s well done. Gavin: 10:57 Okay, so I&#39;m so glad that you brought sincerity to this. And you&#39;re slipping into that trap. I need to do that. That you don&#39;t just get to be the funny guy this time. Um, because basically mine are sincere too, basically. But the things that pop out in my mind for sure are um I&#39;m I&#39;m sorry, I&#39;m gonna make it a top three and a half on the top uh for number three and a half. Al Franken has this fantastic quote about politics, and he says, Republicans love their country the way four-year-olds love their parents, Democrats love their country the way adults love their parents. David: 11:33 Beautiful. Gavin: 11:34 And I think that is a great way of saying we have to accept the flaws and the warts and the yelling and the screaming and still love our parents, and that&#39;s a mature way of looking at it. So I love that one. I was lucky enough to work with Mike Nichols, um the famed director, who probably nobody on this podcast knows. But he was a really famous movie director and Broadway director, and he uh directed me in Spamalot. Not that he really I was a replacement, so whatever, he didn&#39;t know who I was, but I love that he said my number two quote is there are only three kinds of scenes seductions, fights, and negotiations. And he had a very direct, simple way of directing actors, and it was enough of the backstory, enough of this, that, and the other. Just like keep it simple. It&#39;s a seduction, it&#39;s a fight, or a negotiation. Boom, move on. Uh I uh of course I love my favorite tweet of all time. Number one is some person who said, and I&#39;m sure it was a younger person who didn&#39;t have kids, said, Parenting looks so hard. You have to traumatize your kids just enough to make sure they&#39;re funny. David: 12:41 I think that is so true. We talked about that in episode one, I remember with Craig. Yeah. Yeah. Gavin: 12:45 I know I I&#39;m bringing that up. Um, and then my half favorite here is just that um uh and it&#39;s not a quote. I&#39;m I&#39;m diverting just in the sense of, and it&#39;s sort of a something great, but don&#39;t know it&#39;s don&#39;t worry, it&#39;s not my something great. In my notes, I keep a running list of funny quotes that my kids say, and you can see it goes back to 2015, and I have quotes after quote after quote, and occasionally we go back and read them, and it&#39;s fucking hilarious. So, um, that is my quote, is not a quote, but just something we do to keep quotes, because it is so worth the effort of pulling out your phone, neglecting your kid for a little while, writing down something funny, and you&#39;ll be able to revisit it later....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week Gavin is back from vacation and not eating like it, we share our top 3 favorite quotes of all time, and are joined by the woman with a golden voice Haven Burton to talk about parenting kids with disabilities, dealing with professional-grade poop, and of course, fangirl&apos;ing Legally Blonde. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Okay, okay, get let&#39;s get to it. Let&#39;s get to it, Kakapupi. Ready? All right, here we go. You ready, Haven? SPEAKER_01: 0:04 I&#39;m fucking ready. Gavin: 0:06 And this is gator arcs. So we got to get away last week on spring break. And we spent money that we didn&#39;t have. But, you know, that is the American way. And we were at a uh an all-inclusive hotel. And I just walked around lecturing my kids about how we were exploiting the people and the environment the entire time. And my 11-year-old actually turns to me and she&#39;s like, Dad. You chose this vacation for us. And I was like, I know, but we don&#39;t have to like it. Wow. And there we are, like heaps of food, of course. And uh my kids are still just eating pancakes and bacon the entire time. Now, I know we going into this, I was like, one of the reasons I chose this was I didn&#39;t feel like choosing battles, or I didn&#39;t choose feel like having battles. And I&#39;m like, you can eat whatever the hell you want. You can eat ice cream all day long, that&#39;s all I care about. Except for the fact that I still want you to have uh like regular bowel movements and I want you to be able to eat a fucking vegetable, right? And um, and there we are though, still having food battles with my middle schooler, where I&#39;m like, don&#39;t you want to live a little? Don&#39;t you want to eat something different besides pancakes and bacon? And but why would anybody want to eat pancakes and bacon? But then she said to me, Dad, this is like the middle school. If I don&#39;t want to eat what they have, like fish sticks and salad, we have options. I&#39;m like, oh, interesting that you have what are the other options? Hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza. Yeah, always. I&#39;m like, how am I supposed to teach my kids any good eating habits when their default at the school is hamburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza? I love hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and pizza like the next guy, but I also know that we cannot live on that. And that&#39;s the problem with our entire country, is that all that&#39;s all we eat, and we don&#39;t teach our kids any actual eating habits. David: 2:03 Listen, this is my problem with daycare too. As I&#39;ve said many, many times, like I am constantly putting good food in the daycare, and every day he&#39;s like, I had six chocolate donuts today because it was Stevie&#39;s birthday. I was like, fuck Stevie, fuck Stevie and their birthday. Gavin: 2:15 Yep. David: 2:15 Yeah. Gavin: 2:16 It&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s so and we are so preoccupied with raising good eaters, and we go to all the top ten lists of how you raise a good eater, then ultimately our entire society is against us actually raising good eaters. And it is infuriating because I mean, we adults are I mean, as Americans, we&#39;re pretty bad eaters as it is, and um uh it&#39;s just it&#39;s an uphill battle, but um, but I&#39;m gonna keep waging it. Let me tell you what. Along those lines, then it does remind me of um all of the top ten ways. I mean, I wrote them when I was blogging a few years ago, um, talking about the top ten ways to like raise good eaters and whatnot. And I did have some pretty good um successes. And uh in the grand scheme of things, we don&#39;t have tears at the table unless I put fish on the table. And then my kids have decided that they don&#39;t like fish even th]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is back from vacation and not eating like it, we share our top 3 favorite quotes of all time, and are joined by the woman with a golden voice Haven Burton to talk about parenting kids with disabilities, dealing with professional-grade poop, and of course, fangirl&apos;ing Legally Blonde. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Okay, okay, get let&#39;s get to it. Let&#39;s get to it, Kakapupi. Ready? All right, here we go. You ready, Haven? SPEAKER_01: 0:04 I&#39;m fucking ready. Gavin: 0:06 And this is gator arcs. So we got to get away last week on spring break. And we spent money that we didn&#39;t have. But, you know, that is the American way. And we were at a uh an all-inclusive hotel. And I just walked around lecturing ]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Ellyn Marie Marsh</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-ellyn-marie-marsh/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 26 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. However, I do know. David: 0:06 Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal wellness? SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Of non-kalendrical. I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Wait, in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Jamie Grayson&#39;s episode, Your Something Great, was reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language. And then you reacted with something. And then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 1:17 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now, thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 2:03 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the big thing. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh. Ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 2:28 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That Broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympathy for somebody who&#39;s in a place like Disneyland or out on the streets of New York City, and they feel like this is this is keeping my child alive. I am being daddy bear. I&#39;m being a bear. Stop it. I&#39;m being a daddy bear and I&#39;m not gonna let my kid run into uh traffic. So I mean, but it&#39;s a drastic it&#39;s a drastic resort, but I&#39;m glad I am very I see people like that, and I&#39;m very glad I&#39;ve never had to leash my children. David: 3:05 But it&#39;s absolutely one of those things that when I before I became a parent, I saw and I was like, you guys are disgusting. You can&#39;t even like, you&#39;re not even willing to watch your own child. And I we were at the mall the other day and I saw somebody, it was uh, I don&#39;t know if she was by herself or not, but at the time she was by herself and she had a kid, like a little kid in her hand, and she had this one kid, and he was on a leash and he was just pulling her along like a like a great dane. And I thought, good for you, girl. Because if she&#39;s there by herself, yeah, and you got a runner, yeah, leash that motherfucker, leash that motherfucker for days. But it&#39;s but it&#39;s it sounds awful, and I&#39;m still judgmental about it. I reserve the right to be judgmental about everything, including myself. But I was like, yeah, I I get that, especially for us when it comes to sa safety. But also, like you said, if you got a runner kid. Gavin: 3:54 You gotta choose your battles. Parenting is all about choosing your battles, and in this case, um, you know, I bet her day is a lot more productive by not having to chase the child all the time. David: 4:05 And I don&#39;t think he&#39;s leashed at home, right? Like you don&#39;t leash your child at home. I think this was probably a special scenario. Gavin: 4:11 To the to the dining room table. So that&#39;s it. Exactly. David: 4:13 Just yeah, just tie him to the tree and leave him a bowl of water. Um, so let&#39;s talk about traveling with kids really quickly before we get to our really extra special guest. Uh-huh. Um, I am going to try I have traveled with both of my kids a few times. This year we are going to travel a lot and very far together. Oh, really? And I&#39;m slightly terrifying, so terrified. So I just wanted to quickly go through how do you travel with kids? Um, I want your advice, but I also want to give the minimal advice that I have. But I I I I am a little scared because every time your kid gets a little older, they change, and all of the things you need to travel with kids changes. So, Gaben, do you have any like ideas on like what&#39;s the best way to travel with a kid? Gavin: 4:56 First of all, I think we always, always need to divorce ourselves from the idea that there is a one-size-fits-all. Anyone who has a blog out there, I have no experience with that whatsoever. About the the top five things you need to be able to travel, it&#39;s all bullshit because everything is gonna change and everything is circumstantial, and everything it goes with the vicissitudes of your travel and your kids and the experience. The main thing is you just gotta chill out a little bit, and this will end, and you will get there, and it&#39;s gonna be fine, and you&#39;re all gonna be in one place, and who cares if the people behind you hate you or the people in front of you kick you? David: 5:30 Well, that&#39;s that&#39;s for sure on my list is like the people around you, you&#39;ve got to divorce yourself from feeling any sort of way about those people. Yes, it would be nice if you could keep your kids calm so everyone enjoys their time. But also, if you have a one-year-old who&#39;s crying because her ear hurts, everyone&#39;s gonna have to get over it. Yeah, try not to worry yourself with the fact that the people behind you are not gonna be able to watch Banshees of Inishirin without being disturbed, but and and stay awake through it. Gavin: 6:00 I imagine it was very good. It was good. I mean, I I think that it would be a good idea to make eye contact with the people in front and in back and just be like, hey, bruh, sorry about this in advance. I apologize in advance. Seriously, making a human connection with somebody, and if they immediately look like, oh god, oh, this is gonna be terrible. I&#39;m gonna have to move. Well, at least you gave them a heads up and maybe they can move sooner. But also making a human connection to be like to say to people, I&#39;m I&#39;m I just I pre-apologize. And that set that lowers their expectations. That probably makes them think, oh god, there&#39;s gonna be a monster, a a banshee sitting in front of me while I&#39;m trying to watch about Inashiren. But um, making eye contact, I think, honestly, is a really important thing. I don&#39;t think that you need to go to the degree of having sandwich bags full of goodies and no whatever guys. David: 6:45 But you do need snacks for your kids. That to me is the only piece of advice is to oh have your bags so full of snacks that you swear you could feed the entire plane. Gavin: 6:54 But I think it&#39;s a really good idea to have them also as surprises and you pack stuff, little trinkets that are easy little surprises that you take out and it delights the kid, and then they have something new to do. And so I would say you don&#39;t need to bring a lot of treats, either food or toys, but you you don&#39;t need to be big quantities, but you probably should bring some differing things to surprise and delight them. And also with a baby, I know that this is uh hopefully uh obvious, but just make sure you have a pacifier to let the kid um, you know, regulate their ears when they uh take off or landing. David: 7:29 I think the snack thing and the the toy thing is about the newness, right? Like once they get bored with, you know, the puffs or the tablet or whatever you have with them, then you&#39;re like, oh, by the way, I also have this car. And it&#39;s like, oh, this is gonna, you know, this is gonna burn the next five minutes, and then we gotta think of something new. Gavin: 7:46 Oh, it truly in five minutes, and also no asshole parent out there can think to themselves, uh, I just wish I could have this to myself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. You made your bed, you have to lie in it. Your job is to keep your kid occupied on the plane, it really is. So, just like if you stay calm, it&#39;s gonna be easier for everybody. David: 8:06 So, something I found out um on TikTok, because I I my entire life is TikTok, is there is a program, and I looked it up to make sure it was real before I I recommended it on the podcast. There is a program called TSA Cares, and it&#39;s a program where they will send a person at the airport with you from the um initial check-in all the way through um security. Wow. And it&#39;s meant for people who need help, so people with maybe disabilities, um, people traveling with pets, stuff like that. But if you are traveling with children and multiple children and you don&#39;t have enough help, or you have too many bags, or you&#39;re a little bit worried about how am I gonna get through security with this, you can apply for TSA Cares and it&#39;s totally free. And they will literally have a person meet you at the airport and will walk with you, hold your stuff, help with your kids all the way through security. So, for those of you out there who are traveling, who are a little nervous about it, look up the TSA Cares program. Um, I want to tell one quick travel horror story that I went through just as uh a little lighthearted moment before we get into our very, very dark guest. Um, and that is when my first my son was born, we were brand new parents, we were flying, it&#39;s day three, he was three days old. And we get on the plane, and of course we&#39;re in the bulkhead seat. And of course, when you have an infant that young on a plane, you&#39;re the star. Everybody who walks by is like, oh also, the easiest flight you&#39;ll ever take, because all they&#39;re going to do is sleep, and then wake up to have a bottle, you&#39;ll burp them, they&#39;ll go right back to sleep. So it&#39;s it&#39;s actually the best. So we&#39;re we&#39;re flying, and I&#39;m now a three, I have three days um on my resume as a dad. So I am super cocky. I am like, I can change a diaper, I don&#39;t need help, I know what I&#39;m doing. So because we&#39;re fucking cheap, um, we booked you know, the middle seat and the window seat in economy with an infant. So the guy on the aisle, luckily, super nice. His him and his wife were actually going through IVF, so we had a lot to talk about. And I decided, because I was really smart when we were all eating, oh, I need to change this kid&#39;s diaper. I&#39;m not gonna go all the way back to the thing. I&#39;m just gonna change his diaper in my lap. And I turned to the guy, I&#39;m like, watch me, I&#39;m really good at changing diapers. Gavin: 10:21 Oh my god, you set yourself up for so much failure. One, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s cheap that you didn&#39;t get a third seat. That&#39;s bullshit. David: 10:27 But so I start changing his diaper, and I&#39;m meanwhile, the whole time he&#39;s eating his sandwich, we all have food in front of us, and I&#39;m talking to this guy, like, hey, you know, I can change a diaper in like five seconds, watch me. I can tell he was hot, right? He was kind of hot. You can tell because I was flirting with him. Yes, yeah, so he was he was kind of cute. So the second, if you&#39;ve ever had a baby boy, the second that diaper came off, he immediately started dissing everywhere, and he just shot piss all over the seat, all over that guy&#39;s sandwich, all over me in mid- in mid-boast about how great I am at changing diapers. He pisses on this guy&#39;s sandwich and all over me in the scene. So, my advice to their the parents out there who are gonna fly with a three-day old walk back to the bathroom and change your child&#39;s diaper away from 34E&#39;s turkey sandwich. Gavin: 11:29 Hey, 34E, if you are out there. God, I hope you&#39;re listening to our podcast. Two, would you like to be a sponsor? We are um opening up uh options for sponsorship. And three, I really want you to come on and tell the story from your perspective. Alright, so uh our top three, let&#39;s get into that, shall we? We I proposed that we have a top three about your top three worries about your kids. And worries about your kids, I don&#39;t mean like choking on an olive pit. I mean like the catty shit that let&#39;s just face it, you will look better as a parent if your kids don&#39;t grow up and do this kind of shit. Or whatever. Yeah, whatever you want your top three to be. Okay, so okay, in third place, please don&#39;t let my kid be tone-deaf. Hey, you do not have to walk through your life being able to sing like a lark or whatever, like Beyoncé or whomever. But I just hope that my kid can carry a tune and we have some crossover, I think. Jury&#39;s still out. Uh in second place, I really just hope that my kid doesn&#39;t be a complaining needy kid who just complains all the time. I mean right now. She&#39;s totally a complainer. But you know, you get that out of your system and hopefully you realize that in life, you you&#39;re not making any friends by just complaining about stuff. Like either solve the problem or just shut up about it, right? So just please don&#39;t be a needy complainer. And in first place, just please be interesting. Just be curious, be funny enough, be just be interesting. Don&#39;t be the person who sucks the energy out of a room because I just won&#39;t want to spend time with you. So just please be interesting. David: 13:10 What about you, Dave? We have a little bit of uh crossover. Um mine are, of course, meaner and more um selfish than yours, as as expected. So my number three is that they won&#39;t be rich. I want my kids to be rich. I want them to be rich, I want them to make so much money, I want them to I want them to buy me a lake house. I want a lake house and a boat. I want all versions of water. So number three, yeah. Gavin: 13:34 That they won&#39;t be rich. That&#39;s my number four now. But but it is fourth because I&#39;m not that as materialistic and catty as you are. David: 13:41 Correct, that&#39;s correct. Um, number two, this is our crossover. My worry is that they&#39;ll be untalented. Uh yeah. I want them to have some sort of innate skill that uh um pleases me. Um and entertains you. And number one, my biggest fear that I have for my kids is that they&#39;ll be gay. I want straight kids. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll say it. I&#39;ve had enough of the gayness in my life. I got a gay husband, I got a gay podcast partner, I want straight children to take me to the baseball game and to tell me about trucks and introduce them to their girlfriend. Gavin: 14:18 So bring back the heteronormative in David F. M. Bond&#39;s life. Does that mean your kid&#39;s gonna be like a patriarch? Oh, I hope so. The Gadriarch gives birth to the patriarch. David: 14:31 Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s really good. Um, all right, so next week we&#39;re gonna tone it down...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. However, I do know. David: 0:06 Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal wellness? SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Of non-kalendrical. I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Wait, in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Jamie Grayson&#39;s episode, Your Something Great, was reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language. And then you reacted with something. And then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 1:17 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now, thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 2:03 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the big thing. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh. Ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 2:28 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That Broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympathy for somebody who&#39;s in a place like Disneyland or out on the streets of New York City, and they feel like this is this is keeping my child alive. I am being daddy bear. I&#39;m being a bear. Stop it. I&#39;m being a daddy bear and I&#39;m not gonna let my kid run into uh traffic. So I mean, but it&#39;s a drastic it&#39;s a drastic resort, but I&#39;m glad I am very I see people like that, and I&#39;m very glad I&#39;ve never had to leash my children. David: 3:05 But it&#39;s absolutely one of those things that when I before I became a parent, I saw and I was like, you guys are disgusting. You can&#39;t even like, you&#39;re not even willing to watch your own child. And I we were at the mall the other day and I saw somebody, it was uh, I don&#39;t know if she was by herself or not, but at the time she was by herself and she had a kid, like a little kid in her hand, and she had this one kid, and he was on a leash and he was just pulling her along like a like a great dane. And I thought, good for you, girl. Because if she&#39;s there by herself, yeah, and you got a runner, yeah, leash that motherfucker, leash that motherfucker for days. But it&#39;s but it&#39;s it sounds awful, and I&#39;m still judgmental about it. I reserve the right to be judgmental about everything, including myself. But I was like, yeah, I I get that, especially for us when it comes to sa safety. But also, like you said, if you got a runner kid. Gavin: 3:54 You gotta choose your battles. Parenting is all about choosing your battles, and in this case, um, you know, I bet her day is a lot more productive by not having to chase the child all the time. David: 4:05 And I don&#39;t think he&#39;s leashed at home, right? Like you don&#39;t leash your child at home. I think this was probably a special scenario. Gavin: 4:11 To the to the dining room table. So that&#39;s it. Exactly. David: 4:13 Just yeah, just tie him to the tree and leave him a bowl of water. Um, so let&#39;s talk about traveling with kids really quickly before we get to our really extra special guest. Uh-huh. Um, I am going to try I have traveled with both of my kids a few times. This year we are going to travel a lot and very far together. Oh, really? And I&#39;m slightly terrifying, so terrified. So I just wanted to quickly go through how do you travel with kids? Um, I want your advice, but I also want to give the minimal advice that I have. But I I I I am a little scared because every time your kid gets a little older, they change, and all of the things you need to travel with kids changes. So, Gaben, do you have any like ideas on like what&#39;s the best way to travel with a kid? Gavin: 4:56 First of all, I think we always, always need to divorce ourselves from the idea that there is a one-size-fits-all. Anyone who has a blog out there, I have no experience with that whatsoever. About the the top five things you need to be able to travel, it&#39;s all bullshit because everything is gonna change and everything is circumstantial, and everything it goes with the vicissitudes of your travel and your kids and the experience. The main thing is you just gotta chill out a little bit, and this will end, and you will get there, and it&#39;s gonna be fine, and you&#39;re all gonna be in one place, and who cares if the people behind you hate you or the people in front of you kick you? David: 5:30 Well, that&#39;s that&#39;s for sure on my list is like the people around you, you&#39;ve got to divorce yourself from feeling any sort of way about those people. Yes, it would be nice if you could keep your kids calm so everyone enjoys their time. But also, if you have a one-year-old who&#39;s crying because her ear hurts, everyone&#39;s gonna have to get over it. Yeah, try not to worry yourself with the fact that the people behind you are not gonna be able to watch Banshees of Inishirin without being disturbed, but and and stay awake through it. Gavin: 6:00 I imagine it was very good. It was good. I mean, I I think that it would be a good idea to make eye contact with the people in front and in back and just be like, hey, bruh, sorry about this in advance. I apologize in advance. Seriously, making a human connection with somebody, and if they immediately look like, oh god, oh, this is gonna be terrible. I&#39;m gonna have to move. Well, at least you gave them a heads up and maybe they can move sooner. But also making a human connection to be like to say to people, I&#39;m I&#39;m I just I pre-apologize. And that set that lowers their expectations. That probably makes them think, oh god, there&#39;s gonna be a monster, a a banshee sitting in front of me while I&#39;m trying to watch about Inashiren. But um, making eye contact, I think, honestly, is a really important thing. I don&#39;t think that you need to go to the degree of having sandwich bags full of goodies and no whatever guys. David: 6:45 But you do need snacks for your kids. That to me is the only piece of advice is to oh have your bags so full of snacks that you swear you could feed the entire plane. Gavin: 6:54 But I think it&#39;s a really good idea to have them also as surprises and you pack stuff, little trinkets that are easy little surprises that you take out and it delights the kid, and then they have something new to do. And so I would say you don&#39;t need to bring a lot of treats, either food or toys, but you you don&#39;t need to be big quantities, but you probably should bring some differing things to surprise and delight them. And also with a baby, I know that this is uh hopefully uh obvious, but just make sure you have a pacifier to let the kid um, you know, regulate their ears when they uh take off or landing. David: 7:29 I think the snack thing and the the toy thing is about the newness, right? Like once they get bored with, you know, the puffs or the tablet or whatever you have with them, then you&#39;re like, oh, by the way, I also have this car. And it&#39;s like, oh, this is gonna, you know, this is gonna burn the next five minutes, and then we gotta think of something new. Gavin: 7:46 Oh, it truly in five minutes, and also no asshole parent out there can think to themselves, uh, I just wish I could have this to myself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. You made your bed, you have to lie in it. Your job is to keep your kid occupied on the plane, it really is. So, just like if you stay calm, it&#39;s gonna be easier for everybody. David: 8:06 So, something I found out um on TikTok, because I I my entire life is TikTok, is there is a program, and I looked it up to make sure it was real before I I recommended it on the podcast. There is a program called TSA Cares, and it&#39;s a program where they will send a person at the airport with you from the um initial check-in all the way through um security. Wow. And it&#39;s meant for people who need help, so people with maybe disabilities, um, people traveling with pets, stuff like that. But if you are traveling with children and multiple children and you don&#39;t have enough help, or you have too many bags, or you&#39;re a little bit worried about how am I gonna get through security with this, you can apply for TSA Cares and it&#39;s totally free. And they will literally have a person meet you at the airport and will walk with you, hold your stuff, help with your kids all the way through security. So, for those of you out there who are traveling, who are a little nervous about it, look up the TSA Cares program. Um, I want to tell one quick travel horror story that I went through just as uh a little lighthearted moment before we get into our very, very dark guest. Um, and that is when my first my son was born, we were brand new parents, we were flying, it&#39;s day three, he was three days old. And we get on the plane, and of course we&#39;re in the bulkhead seat. And of course, when you have an infant that young on a plane, you&#39;re the star. Everybody who walks by is like, oh also, the easiest flight you&#39;ll ever take, because all they&#39;re going to do is sleep, and then wake up to have a bottle, you&#39;ll burp them, they&#39;ll go right back to sleep. So it&#39;s it&#39;s actually the best. So we&#39;re we&#39;re flying, and I&#39;m now a three, I have three days um on my resume as a dad. So I am super cocky. I am like, I can change a diaper, I don&#39;t need help, I know what I&#39;m doing. So because we&#39;re fucking cheap, um, we booked you know, the middle seat and the window seat in economy with an infant. So the guy on the aisle, luckily, super nice. His him and his wife were actually going through IVF, so we had a lot to talk about. And I decided, because I was really smart when we were all eating, oh, I need to change this kid&#39;s diaper. I&#39;m not gonna go all the way back to the thing. I&#39;m just gonna change his diaper in my lap. And I turned to the guy, I&#39;m like, watch me, I&#39;m really good at changing diapers. Gavin: 10:21 Oh my god, you set yourself up for so much failure. One, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s cheap that you didn&#39;t get a third seat. That&#39;s bullshit. David: 10:27 But so I start changing his diaper, and I&#39;m meanwhile, the whole time he&#39;s eating his sandwich, we all have food in front of us, and I&#39;m talking to this guy, like, hey, you know, I can change a diaper in like five seconds, watch me. I can tell he was hot, right? He was kind of hot. You can tell because I was flirting with him. Yes, yeah, so he was he was kind of cute. So the second, if you&#39;ve ever had a baby boy, the second that diaper came off, he immediately started dissing everywhere, and he just shot piss all over the seat, all over that guy&#39;s sandwich, all over me in mid- in mid-boast about how great I am at changing diapers. He pisses on this guy&#39;s sandwich and all over me in the scene. So, my advice to their the parents out there who are gonna fly with a three-day old walk back to the bathroom and change your child&#39;s diaper away from 34E&#39;s turkey sandwich. Gavin: 11:29 Hey, 34E, if you are out there. God, I hope you&#39;re listening to our podcast. Two, would you like to be a sponsor? We are um opening up uh options for sponsorship. And three, I really want you to come on and tell the story from your perspective. Alright, so uh our top three, let&#39;s get into that, shall we? We I proposed that we have a top three about your top three worries about your kids. And worries about your kids, I don&#39;t mean like choking on an olive pit. I mean like the catty shit that let&#39;s just face it, you will look better as a parent if your kids don&#39;t grow up and do this kind of shit. Or whatever. Yeah, whatever you want your top three to be. Okay, so okay, in third place, please don&#39;t let my kid be tone-deaf. Hey, you do not have to walk through your life being able to sing like a lark or whatever, like Beyoncé or whomever. But I just hope that my kid can carry a tune and we have some crossover, I think. Jury&#39;s still out. Uh in second place, I really just hope that my kid doesn&#39;t be a complaining needy kid who just complains all the time. I mean right now. She&#39;s totally a complainer. But you know, you get that out of your system and hopefully you realize that in life, you you&#39;re not making any friends by just complaining about stuff. Like either solve the problem or just shut up about it, right? So just please don&#39;t be a needy complainer. And in first place, just please be interesting. Just be curious, be funny enough, be just be interesting. Don&#39;t be the person who sucks the energy out of a room because I just won&#39;t want to spend time with you. So just please be interesting. David: 13:10 What about you, Dave? We have a little bit of uh crossover. Um mine are, of course, meaner and more um selfish than yours, as as expected. So my number three is that they won&#39;t be rich. I want my kids to be rich. I want them to be rich, I want them to make so much money, I want them to I want them to buy me a lake house. I want a lake house and a boat. I want all versions of water. So number three, yeah. Gavin: 13:34 That they won&#39;t be rich. That&#39;s my number four now. But but it is fourth because I&#39;m not that as materialistic and catty as you are. David: 13:41 Correct, that&#39;s correct. Um, number two, this is our crossover. My worry is that they&#39;ll be untalented. Uh yeah. I want them to have some sort of innate skill that uh um pleases me. Um and entertains you. And number one, my biggest fear that I have for my kids is that they&#39;ll be gay. I want straight kids. I&#39;ll I&#39;ll say it. I&#39;ve had enough of the gayness in my life. I got a gay husband, I got a gay podcast partner, I want straight children to take me to the baseball game and to tell me about trucks and introduce them to their girlfriend. Gavin: 14:18 So bring back the heteronormative in David F. M. Bond&#39;s life. Does that mean your kid&#39;s gonna be like a patriarch? Oh, I hope so. The Gadriarch gives birth to the patriarch. David: 14:31 Yeah, yeah, that&#39;s really good. Um, all right, so next week we&#39;re gonna tone it down...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. However, I do know. David: 0:06 Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal wellness? SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Of non-kalendrical. I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Wait, in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Jamie Grayson&#39;s episode, Your Something Great, was reading your kid Tom Sawyer and then Harry Potter. And I reacted with like, oh, problematic language. And then you reacted with something. And then Sloan Just&#39;s episode, exactly the same thing happened. So we are new to everyone out there listening, all 10 of you, we are new to podcasting. Oh, geez. So we are still learning how to organize all of the things and remember what we did. So you know what? Gavin: 1:17 My takeaway from that though is that your husband is listening and he&#39;s listening well. We have a listener. Let&#39;s see if before this comes out, if anybody else calls us on this. Because I have a couple of friends who are regular listeners and I don&#39;t know if they&#39;re listening carefully. I mean, you know, that&#39;s mortifying, mortifying that that happened. But at the same time, now, thinking back on it, I might have had a tiny bit of deja vu in telling it apparently the second time and thinking, wait, have I already talked about this? But I do that all the time. I is it dad brain? Is it old? No, you&#39;re just very old. Yeah, yeah. How embarrassing. Well, we&#39;re gonna get better. But also, I think there might be greater embarrassment on your end. David: 2:03 Oh no, 100%. I&#39;m the true embarrassment because I reacted earnestly to your something great and said the same thing twice. Exactly the same thing. I am absolutely the most embarrassed. Oh my god. That&#39;s yeah, that&#39;s on the big thing. So anyway, apologies to everyone out there. But I wanted to start this episode with something crazy. Um, kids on leashes, Gavin. Oh. Ever seen a kid on a leash? Gavin: 2:28 I mean, I&#39;ve never had a runner for a child. He&#39;s they&#39;ve I&#39;ve never I I have that Broadway ping, you know? That Broadway ping. If I yell at my kids, I do get their attention. I have sympathy for somebody who&#39;s in a place like Disneyland or out on the streets of New York City, and they feel like this is this is keeping my child alive. I am being daddy bear. I&#39;m being a bear. Stop it. I&#39;m being a daddy bear and I&#39;m not gonna let my kid run into uh traffic. So I mean, but it&#39;s a drastic it&#39;s a drastic resort, but I&#39;m glad I am very I see people like that, and I&#39;m very glad I&#39;ve never had to leash my children. David: 3:05 But it&#39;s absolutely one of those things that when I before I became a parent, I saw and I was like, you guys are disgusting. You can&#39;t even like, you&#39;re not even willing to watch your own child. And I we were at the mall the other day and I saw somebody, it was uh, I don&#39;t know if she was by herself or not, but at the time she was by herself and she had a kid, like a little kid in her hand, and she had this one kid, and he was on a leash and he was just pulling her along like a like a great dane. And I thought, good for you, girl. Because if she&#39;s there by herself, yeah, and you got a runner, yeah, leash that motherfucker, leash that motherfucker for days. But it&#39;s ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[We begin the week with a moment of shame, we talk about traveling with kids (don&apos;t), and are joined by the all around disappointment Ellyn Marie Marsh to talk about her much more successful podcasts, dating as a single parent, and her #1 requirement for all men who want to sleep with her. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I am I am just a whirling dervish of non-kalendrical business. However, I do know. David: 0:06 Can you can you stitch that on a pillow? A whirling dervish of centrifugal wellness? SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Of non-kalendrical. I don&#39;t even know what the last word was. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarch&#39;s. Wait, in the totally by accident. In the podcast. Jamie Grayson&#39;s episode, Your Something Great, was readin]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with the Broadway Husbands</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-the-broadway-husbands/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 19 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12608802</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week David&apos;s kid fucks around and finds out, we talk about the decision to go from one kid to two, and we invite a couple over to &#34;see what happens,&#34; with Stephen Hanna and Bret Shuford aka the Broadway Husbands. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re very kind people, you and I. Well, in gen uh profoundly, yes. But in the grand scheme, on a day-to-day basis, God, it&#39;s so much work to be kind, right? And it&#39;s so much more fun to be naughty and mean and catty. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarchs. So, real quick rant. We are now in with my three-year-old, the fuck around and find out phase. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about when I say the fuck around and find out phase, Gavin? For those of you out there who are like, what does he mean? This means that like my three and a half year old is now old enough to want to know what the real consequences are to things. So when I&#39;m like, put on your shoes, and he&#39;s like, no, and I&#39;m like, if you don&#39;t, I&#39;m going to blank, he&#39;s like, do it. unknown: 0:59 Do it. David: 1:00 Fucking come at me, bro. And so now I&#39;ve either got to back up my threats with the thing I threatened, or I&#39;ve got to really turn. So we&#39;re in the fuck around and find out phase. Yeah. Which for somebody like my husband is okay because he&#39;s like, maybe let&#39;s calm down, let&#39;s find a new way to do this. Maybe let&#39;s let&#39;s let me get on your level. And when it comes to me, the immature asshole, I&#39;m like, I will let you die in this bathroom floor if you don&#39;t brush your teeth. You live here now until you brush those fucking teeth. So um, anyway, with just a new phase, which is super not fun, which is where my my three-year-old is like, I want to find out. I&#39;m gonna fuck around and I want to find out. Gavin: 1:42 So that&#39;s that immediately makes me think of a cat who&#39;s like walking along a counter and just kind of passively knocks something off the counter to see, like, hmm, what&#39;s the thing? David: 1:51 Yeah, but the cat makes sure to look at you in the eyes, and then you say, Don&#39;t knock it off the counter, and without breaking eye contact, pushes that thing off the counter. Gavin: 2:00 Well, I would say that my kids probably did that at some point. Although I we&#39;re still in a fuck around and find out mode. Well, are we in a fuck around and find out mode, or is it more like a don&#39;t fuck with me mode, which is my um wonderful tween who definitely has more um pizzazz in looking me straight in the eye and being like, I&#39;m not doing that. And there, I can hear in her tone of voice, there is no amount of cajoling I can do aside from taking away her phone. David: 2:27 That is worth offering her Duncan on the way to school, I hear, is a powerful tool. Gavin: 2:32 I know I&#39;m still gonna win because I pay the bills, but I there&#39;s a defiance in her voice that&#39;s like, no, I&#39;m not doing that. And um, oof, guess what, David? It&#39;s it&#39;s not a phase. It&#39;s not a phase. He&#39;s he&#39;s he will just be developing his fuck around and find out for the five. David: 2:50 But now at three and a half, I can still physically overpower him to force him to put his shoes on. You really I mean, at this point with your daughter, you can&#39;t really do that because she&#39;s uh yeah, totally. Gavin: 2:59 No, no, no, it&#39;s uh no, it&#39;s the real deal now. So um, so tonight, big day in our household because my daughter is going to her very first middle school dance. Oh, fuck. That is a big deal. It&#39;s a really big deal. And the thing is, um, for the past week I&#39;ve been like, so are you gonna do something beforehand? Are you gonna go get ready with somebody? Are you gonna do anything afterwards? These things were never proposed to me when I was in seventh grade going to my first dance. I remember being dropped off by my mom and being like, go, go, mom, go, go, go. Like, drive away as fast as you possibly can. Even though everybody was being dropped off by their parents. Yeah. But there, it was terrifying to walk in alone. I get the power of safety in numbers thing. You don&#39;t want to walk in to your middle school alone because you&#39;re like, I just need some safety in numbers. This is super scary and super exciting at the same time. Anyway, she&#39;s been totally chill about it. Also, she&#39;s like, Dad, you know we&#39;re not gonna dance. We&#39;re just gonna like run around the hallways together. Meanwhile, she has an outfit, she has a necklace for the very first time, she has just all the things. And I mean, I&#39;ve been in high gay dad orbit. Um, just uh trying to wanting it to be such a fun, lighthearted experience, also knowing that it can be so fraught with so much drama. David: 4:18 Totally. But that&#39;s like the dra she&#39;s she&#39;s getting into that part of her life where this is this is what&#39;s gonna be happening, is all this drama. I got middle school dance where like boys on one side, girls on the other. And it was like, but it but it&#39;s so the beginning of that like the social dynamic starting to come into play, which is And she&#39;s gotta live out, she&#39;s gotta go through the awkwardness without me trying to, you know, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 4:40 I mean, I d I&#39;m not trying to protect her from drama, but I am I know that it&#39;s after a dance, you like want to go get milkshakes at Denny&#39;s and talk about it. And so I&#39;ve been like, if we only had a Denny&#39;s near us, but I wanna say, you know, let&#39;s I think you&#39;ll want to socialize afterwards. Oh, dad, stop. No, I don&#39;t care. Well, you&#39;re gonna care, and I think it&#39;ll be more fun if you have something planned. Okay, fine, just do it. Oh, oh, I have to do it. Oh, like I mean, you&#39;re on Snapchat all goddamn day. Can&#39;t you organize something? Yes, I will be the bus to drive you, but like I&#39;m not gonna go text eight parents saying that this needs to happen. Come on. So anyway, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a big deal. I will report. Um, but I can&#39;t wait to do that. It feels like a big deal. David: 5:22 Yeah, it will be, and and she&#39;ll have all these like secret experiences, these like hush conversations in the corner of the you know gym or whatever. So it yeah, exactly. Um, but um, that&#39;s that&#39;s very exciting. So she is your first kid. Yeah. Right? So you have two kids, I have two kids. Yeah, and I thought really quickly before um we do our top three list, I thought for those of you who are parents of one kid who are considering two, since you and I both have two kids, we could maybe talk about like why we did it. Um, I ask myself that every day. Why the fuck do I do this to myself? Um, but also like what to think about. Like for people who are like, I have one kid, I&#39;m thinking about having a second one, because I feel like that&#39;s the question you get all the time. When I had one kid, it&#39;s like, when are you gonna have another? When I have two, when are you gonna have a third? Um, and I find myself asking, we have friends down the street who, gay parents who have a one and a half year old, and I&#39;m always like, when are you gonna have a second? And I hear myself, I&#39;m like, David, shut the fuck up. Who cares? Gavin: 6:17 Also, as an only child, I am an only child, and I know plenty of people out there who are like, you know what, one kid is good for us, and we love our kid, and we don&#39;t feel like we need to a muddy the waters, or maybe we haven&#39;t been able to have a second kid, or for all the things. So it is a consideration, and also there is a baked-in assumption that you always are gonna have more than one kid, and uh you you don&#39;t always need to have more than one kid, for sure. David: 6:39 No, not at all. And my my only really piece of advice is the same piece of advice I give for people who are like, should I have a kid, a kid at all, is that have a kid if you want one. And I know that sounds oversimplistic, but like so many people feel the pressure. I should have a kid, I should have a second kid. Don&#39;t don&#39;t don&#39;t succumb to that before. Don&#39;t don&#39;t shit all over yourself. Don&#39;t shit all over yourself. Yes. Um, so um for the obvious first thing that gay parents have to think about is money, right? Like having a second kid doesn&#39;t mean like a second mouth to feed and a second daycare bill, it does, but it means an extra 30, 50, 100,000, 200,000 of cost to have that second kid. Now, a lot of times what people do, and I think you did this as well as we did, was where the kind of embryo creation process, which is a kind of a big expense, once you&#39;ve done that once, it&#39;s kind of done. If you have, you know, multiple embryos. I think we have 12 embryos, so it&#39;s like we have those, we don&#39;t have to make those again. So that part of the process is already paid for. But yeah, surrogacy is expensive if even if it goes perfectly right, adoption can be really expensive, even foster adopt can be expensive, depending. So um, money is obviously uh a fucking consideration. Yeah, um, timing between kids, like we very purposefully had a kid almost exactly two years apart from our other kid because we wanted kids that were close enough in age but not in the same grade. Um, I grew up, I have two brothers and two sisters, but they&#39;re all like 13 plus older uh years older than me. Um so I kind of live life as an only child. I never really lived with my siblings. Um and I always wanted to have a sibling in the house that I could complain about my parents to. So that was part of my inspire with, yeah. Oh, yeah, totally, yeah. Gavin: 8:24 Yeah, we definitely uh we jumped right on it. We were before our first was even born, we were talking about when are we gonna do the second, and uh my partner was like, uh, I&#39;m not getting any younger, so let&#39;s just do it. And uh we ours are what is the term, Irish twins. They&#39;re 19 months apart, but that has put them two grade levels apart, and they&#39;re close enough that they&#39;re still friends, and that has been, frankly, really helpful. But at the same time, there is no wrong way to do it, and there is no right way to do it. And as my best advice um came from, and if she&#39;s listening, uh thank you, Mo. She said there&#39;s just never the right time to have kids. Never mind. David: 9:02 There&#39;s never the right time to have kids, there&#39;s never the right time to buy a house or to leave your partner or to whatever. You just have to fucking do it. And that&#39;s I have a lot of friends in that category who were like, Well, I&#39;m thinking about them kids, but all right, my job is a little weird right now, and blah, blah, blah. I&#39;m like, I&#39;m telling you, yeah, there&#39;s there&#39;s never gonna work out. There&#39;s never gonna be a time to have kids. Nope. Um, so just don&#39;t fucking have them. Um, and then the last kind of big thing I would think about the decision that goes into the decision is like your support system. So we don&#39;t live around family. So our support system is minimal, it&#39;s babysitters, or if we want to fly family. And so it was real we realized after having two, because I&#39;ve always wanted to have a big family. As soon as we had two, we immediately go, Oh, without a built-in support system here where we can just drop a kid off at a house or have people on call. It is real, real hard. Because one, when you have when you&#39;re married or have a partner, you&#39;re like, Okay, can you just take the kid? Because I need to blank whatever it is, poop, go to work, have a little bit of crying time by myself in the park, whatever you need. You can kind of give your kid the when you have two, you always got a kid. Yeah, there&#39;s always one around. So the support system I think is an important thing to consider before you have a second kid. Gavin: 10:15 And when you&#39;re talking about having an infant when you already have a toddler in the house or any kind of young kid, or a 13-year-old in the house, it it the infinite expansion of your fatigue is beyond what you could have imagined. When you have that first kid, you are walking into walls for sure. But at the same time, I have to feel like we also we step up to the plate. I think most people really uh human beings are capable of having multiple babies. They really we&#39;ve been doing it for many millennia. Uh, but it you will find strength in yourself, hopefully, to push through in ways that you never imagined. And I just remember having like a toddler and a baby, and and it was never a matter of um, can we do this? You just you just do it. Yeah, and boy, you find the strength within yourself that you never realized you had. And then 10 years later, like I am right now, you think, I don&#39;t know how I did that, but I did it. David: 11:11 Yeah, and I will say, uh, just to end it on a little bit of a positive note, the the the things that I I didn&#39;t expect to just absolutely love about having a second kid were you know, second kid syndrome, which you&#39;ve heard parents say, which is we&#39;re like the first kid you&#39;re very protective of. Oh yeah, we have all these plans and we&#39;re gonna be very focused. And kid number two, you&#39;re just like if she&#39;s off the floor, God speak. Um so there&#39;s that part of it which I think is is really fun as a parent because you get to kind of enjoy parenting in a way. Like I got to enjoy parenting, I feel like the second time around that I didn&#39;t allow myself to enjoy the first time. You&#39;re less stressed. Yeah, I&#39;m less stressed, uh differently stressed, but also I just there were just times I remember holding Hannah, my my my youngest, and thinking, and just looking at her and just listening to her eat and just like really enjoying the moment I was having, instead of in my head going, when is she gonna go to bed? Okay, if she goes to bed now, I get like I could turn off those voices a little bit because I wasn&#39;t as paranoid about like all the things I was so paranoid with. Number one, both because I had experience in doing it, and two, I was just too fucking tired. Yeah, I think there is a benefit in you being, I think some people worry about having a second kid. They&#39;re like, Well, what if I won&#39;t give as much focus to that first kid? I&#39;m like, Yeah, that is great because you now they get to experience something different, and you get to experience something different, you get to uh enjoy the love between these two kids. And then the last thing that I that was a surprise to me was watching them interact with each other that didn&#39;t involve me, right? She does something funny, he laughs, they look at each other, they throw food at each other. There&#39;s something so beautiful in watching this relationship between these two people exist without me that I was very surprised. That was like really cool. Gavin: 12:53 Giving back going back to exactly right, you give up the control freakiness because you don&#39;t have the energy, time, or or interest in being a total control freak, and that is liberating. And we&#39;re all better parents when we give up trying to absolutely control um every element. And you&#39;re right, their little world behind your back, or when they don&#39;t know that you are fully filming it from around the corner, um is that&#39;s magical. And um, that relationship, that bond is um hope that will be with them forever. And you&#39;ve given them a gift, I think, also of camaraderie for one day when you...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week David&apos;s kid fucks around and finds out, we talk about the decision to go from one kid to two, and we invite a couple over to &#34;see what happens,&#34; with Stephen Hanna and Bret Shuford aka the Broadway Husbands. Thanks for listening, p]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week David&apos;s kid fucks around and finds out, we talk about the decision to go from one kid to two, and we invite a couple over to &#34;see what happens,&#34; with Stephen Hanna and Bret Shuford aka the Broadway Husbands. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re very kind people, you and I. Well, in gen uh profoundly, yes. But in the grand scheme, on a day-to-day basis, God, it&#39;s so much work to be kind, right? And it&#39;s so much more fun to be naughty and mean and catty. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarchs. So, real quick rant. We are now in with my three-year-old, the fuck around and find out phase. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about when I say the fuck around and find out phase, Gavin? For those of you out there who are like, what does he mean? This means that like my three and a half year old is now old enough to want to know what the real consequences are to things. So when I&#39;m like, put on your shoes, and he&#39;s like, no, and I&#39;m like, if you don&#39;t, I&#39;m going to blank, he&#39;s like, do it. unknown: 0:59 Do it. David: 1:00 Fucking come at me, bro. And so now I&#39;ve either got to back up my threats with the thing I threatened, or I&#39;ve got to really turn. So we&#39;re in the fuck around and find out phase. Yeah. Which for somebody like my husband is okay because he&#39;s like, maybe let&#39;s calm down, let&#39;s find a new way to do this. Maybe let&#39;s let&#39;s let me get on your level. And when it comes to me, the immature asshole, I&#39;m like, I will let you die in this bathroom floor if you don&#39;t brush your teeth. You live here now until you brush those fucking teeth. So um, anyway, with just a new phase, which is super not fun, which is where my my three-year-old is like, I want to find out. I&#39;m gonna fuck around and I want to find out. Gavin: 1:42 So that&#39;s that immediately makes me think of a cat who&#39;s like walking along a counter and just kind of passively knocks something off the counter to see, like, hmm, what&#39;s the thing? David: 1:51 Yeah, but the cat makes sure to look at you in the eyes, and then you say, Don&#39;t knock it off the counter, and without breaking eye contact, pushes that thing off the counter. Gavin: 2:00 Well, I would say that my kids probably did that at some point. Although I we&#39;re still in a fuck around and find out mode. Well, are we in a fuck around and find out mode, or is it more like a don&#39;t fuck with me mode, which is my um wonderful tween who definitely has more um pizzazz in looking me straight in the eye and being like, I&#39;m not doing that. And there, I can hear in her tone of voice, there is no amount of cajoling I can do aside from taking away her phone. David: 2:27 That is worth offering her Duncan on the way to school, I hear, is a powerful tool. Gavin: 2:32 I know I&#39;m still gonna win because I pay the bills, but I there&#39;s a defiance in her voice that&#39;s like, no, I&#39;m not doing that. And um, oof, guess what, David? It&#39;s it&#39;s not a phase. It&#39;s not a phase. He&#39;s he&#39;s he will just be developing his fuck around and find out for the five. David: 2:50 But now at three and a half, I can still physically overpower him to force him to put his shoes on. You really I mean, at this point with your daughter, you can&#39;t really do that because she&#39;s uh yeah, totally. Gavin: 2:59 No, no, no, it&#39;s uh no, it&#39;s the real deal now. So um, so tonight, big day in our household because my daughter is going to her very first middle school dance. Oh, fuck. That is a big deal. It&#39;s a really big deal. And the thing is, um, for the past week I&#39;ve been like, so are you gonna do something beforehand? Are you gonna go get ready with somebody? Are you gonna do anything afterwards? These things were never proposed to me when I was in seventh grade going to my first dance. I remember being dropped off by my mom and being like, go, go, mom, go, go, go. Like, drive away as fast as you possibly can. Even though everybody was being dropped off by their parents. Yeah. But there, it was terrifying to walk in alone. I get the power of safety in numbers thing. You don&#39;t want to walk in to your middle school alone because you&#39;re like, I just need some safety in numbers. This is super scary and super exciting at the same time. Anyway, she&#39;s been totally chill about it. Also, she&#39;s like, Dad, you know we&#39;re not gonna dance. We&#39;re just gonna like run around the hallways together. Meanwhile, she has an outfit, she has a necklace for the very first time, she has just all the things. And I mean, I&#39;ve been in high gay dad orbit. Um, just uh trying to wanting it to be such a fun, lighthearted experience, also knowing that it can be so fraught with so much drama. David: 4:18 Totally. But that&#39;s like the dra she&#39;s she&#39;s getting into that part of her life where this is this is what&#39;s gonna be happening, is all this drama. I got middle school dance where like boys on one side, girls on the other. And it was like, but it but it&#39;s so the beginning of that like the social dynamic starting to come into play, which is And she&#39;s gotta live out, she&#39;s gotta go through the awkwardness without me trying to, you know, I don&#39;t know. Gavin: 4:40 I mean, I d I&#39;m not trying to protect her from drama, but I am I know that it&#39;s after a dance, you like want to go get milkshakes at Denny&#39;s and talk about it. And so I&#39;ve been like, if we only had a Denny&#39;s near us, but I wanna say, you know, let&#39;s I think you&#39;ll want to socialize afterwards. Oh, dad, stop. No, I don&#39;t care. Well, you&#39;re gonna care, and I think it&#39;ll be more fun if you have something planned. Okay, fine, just do it. Oh, oh, I have to do it. Oh, like I mean, you&#39;re on Snapchat all goddamn day. Can&#39;t you organize something? Yes, I will be the bus to drive you, but like I&#39;m not gonna go text eight parents saying that this needs to happen. Come on. So anyway, it&#39;s a it&#39;s a big deal. I will report. Um, but I can&#39;t wait to do that. It feels like a big deal. David: 5:22 Yeah, it will be, and and she&#39;ll have all these like secret experiences, these like hush conversations in the corner of the you know gym or whatever. So it yeah, exactly. Um, but um, that&#39;s that&#39;s very exciting. So she is your first kid. Yeah. Right? So you have two kids, I have two kids. Yeah, and I thought really quickly before um we do our top three list, I thought for those of you who are parents of one kid who are considering two, since you and I both have two kids, we could maybe talk about like why we did it. Um, I ask myself that every day. Why the fuck do I do this to myself? Um, but also like what to think about. Like for people who are like, I have one kid, I&#39;m thinking about having a second one, because I feel like that&#39;s the question you get all the time. When I had one kid, it&#39;s like, when are you gonna have another? When I have two, when are you gonna have a third? Um, and I find myself asking, we have friends down the street who, gay parents who have a one and a half year old, and I&#39;m always like, when are you gonna have a second? And I hear myself, I&#39;m like, David, shut the fuck up. Who cares? Gavin: 6:17 Also, as an only child, I am an only child, and I know plenty of people out there who are like, you know what, one kid is good for us, and we love our kid, and we don&#39;t feel like we need to a muddy the waters, or maybe we haven&#39;t been able to have a second kid, or for all the things. So it is a consideration, and also there is a baked-in assumption that you always are gonna have more than one kid, and uh you you don&#39;t always need to have more than one kid, for sure. David: 6:39 No, not at all. And my my only really piece of advice is the same piece of advice I give for people who are like, should I have a kid, a kid at all, is that have a kid if you want one. And I know that sounds oversimplistic, but like so many people feel the pressure. I should have a kid, I should have a second kid. Don&#39;t don&#39;t don&#39;t succumb to that before. Don&#39;t don&#39;t shit all over yourself. Don&#39;t shit all over yourself. Yes. Um, so um for the obvious first thing that gay parents have to think about is money, right? Like having a second kid doesn&#39;t mean like a second mouth to feed and a second daycare bill, it does, but it means an extra 30, 50, 100,000, 200,000 of cost to have that second kid. Now, a lot of times what people do, and I think you did this as well as we did, was where the kind of embryo creation process, which is a kind of a big expense, once you&#39;ve done that once, it&#39;s kind of done. If you have, you know, multiple embryos. I think we have 12 embryos, so it&#39;s like we have those, we don&#39;t have to make those again. So that part of the process is already paid for. But yeah, surrogacy is expensive if even if it goes perfectly right, adoption can be really expensive, even foster adopt can be expensive, depending. So um, money is obviously uh a fucking consideration. Yeah, um, timing between kids, like we very purposefully had a kid almost exactly two years apart from our other kid because we wanted kids that were close enough in age but not in the same grade. Um, I grew up, I have two brothers and two sisters, but they&#39;re all like 13 plus older uh years older than me. Um so I kind of live life as an only child. I never really lived with my siblings. Um and I always wanted to have a sibling in the house that I could complain about my parents to. So that was part of my inspire with, yeah. Oh, yeah, totally, yeah. Gavin: 8:24 Yeah, we definitely uh we jumped right on it. We were before our first was even born, we were talking about when are we gonna do the second, and uh my partner was like, uh, I&#39;m not getting any younger, so let&#39;s just do it. And uh we ours are what is the term, Irish twins. They&#39;re 19 months apart, but that has put them two grade levels apart, and they&#39;re close enough that they&#39;re still friends, and that has been, frankly, really helpful. But at the same time, there is no wrong way to do it, and there is no right way to do it. And as my best advice um came from, and if she&#39;s listening, uh thank you, Mo. She said there&#39;s just never the right time to have kids. Never mind. David: 9:02 There&#39;s never the right time to have kids, there&#39;s never the right time to buy a house or to leave your partner or to whatever. You just have to fucking do it. And that&#39;s I have a lot of friends in that category who were like, Well, I&#39;m thinking about them kids, but all right, my job is a little weird right now, and blah, blah, blah. I&#39;m like, I&#39;m telling you, yeah, there&#39;s there&#39;s never gonna work out. There&#39;s never gonna be a time to have kids. Nope. Um, so just don&#39;t fucking have them. Um, and then the last kind of big thing I would think about the decision that goes into the decision is like your support system. So we don&#39;t live around family. So our support system is minimal, it&#39;s babysitters, or if we want to fly family. And so it was real we realized after having two, because I&#39;ve always wanted to have a big family. As soon as we had two, we immediately go, Oh, without a built-in support system here where we can just drop a kid off at a house or have people on call. It is real, real hard. Because one, when you have when you&#39;re married or have a partner, you&#39;re like, Okay, can you just take the kid? Because I need to blank whatever it is, poop, go to work, have a little bit of crying time by myself in the park, whatever you need. You can kind of give your kid the when you have two, you always got a kid. Yeah, there&#39;s always one around. So the support system I think is an important thing to consider before you have a second kid. Gavin: 10:15 And when you&#39;re talking about having an infant when you already have a toddler in the house or any kind of young kid, or a 13-year-old in the house, it it the infinite expansion of your fatigue is beyond what you could have imagined. When you have that first kid, you are walking into walls for sure. But at the same time, I have to feel like we also we step up to the plate. I think most people really uh human beings are capable of having multiple babies. They really we&#39;ve been doing it for many millennia. Uh, but it you will find strength in yourself, hopefully, to push through in ways that you never imagined. And I just remember having like a toddler and a baby, and and it was never a matter of um, can we do this? You just you just do it. Yeah, and boy, you find the strength within yourself that you never realized you had. And then 10 years later, like I am right now, you think, I don&#39;t know how I did that, but I did it. David: 11:11 Yeah, and I will say, uh, just to end it on a little bit of a positive note, the the the things that I I didn&#39;t expect to just absolutely love about having a second kid were you know, second kid syndrome, which you&#39;ve heard parents say, which is we&#39;re like the first kid you&#39;re very protective of. Oh yeah, we have all these plans and we&#39;re gonna be very focused. And kid number two, you&#39;re just like if she&#39;s off the floor, God speak. Um so there&#39;s that part of it which I think is is really fun as a parent because you get to kind of enjoy parenting in a way. Like I got to enjoy parenting, I feel like the second time around that I didn&#39;t allow myself to enjoy the first time. You&#39;re less stressed. Yeah, I&#39;m less stressed, uh differently stressed, but also I just there were just times I remember holding Hannah, my my my youngest, and thinking, and just looking at her and just listening to her eat and just like really enjoying the moment I was having, instead of in my head going, when is she gonna go to bed? Okay, if she goes to bed now, I get like I could turn off those voices a little bit because I wasn&#39;t as paranoid about like all the things I was so paranoid with. Number one, both because I had experience in doing it, and two, I was just too fucking tired. Yeah, I think there is a benefit in you being, I think some people worry about having a second kid. They&#39;re like, Well, what if I won&#39;t give as much focus to that first kid? I&#39;m like, Yeah, that is great because you now they get to experience something different, and you get to experience something different, you get to uh enjoy the love between these two kids. And then the last thing that I that was a surprise to me was watching them interact with each other that didn&#39;t involve me, right? She does something funny, he laughs, they look at each other, they throw food at each other. There&#39;s something so beautiful in watching this relationship between these two people exist without me that I was very surprised. That was like really cool. Gavin: 12:53 Giving back going back to exactly right, you give up the control freakiness because you don&#39;t have the energy, time, or or interest in being a total control freak, and that is liberating. And we&#39;re all better parents when we give up trying to absolutely control um every element. And you&#39;re right, their little world behind your back, or when they don&#39;t know that you are fully filming it from around the corner, um is that&#39;s magical. And um, that relationship, that bond is um hope that will be with them forever. And you&#39;ve given them a gift, I think, also of camaraderie for one day when you...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week David&apos;s kid fucks around and finds out, we talk about the decision to go from one kid to two, and we invite a couple over to &#34;see what happens,&#34; with Stephen Hanna and Bret Shuford aka the Broadway Husbands. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re very kind people, you and I. Well, in gen uh profoundly, yes. But in the grand scheme, on a day-to-day basis, God, it&#39;s so much work to be kind, right? And it&#39;s so much more fun to be naughty and mean and catty. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarchs. So, real quick rant. We are now in with my three-year-old, the fuck around and find out phase. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about when I say the fuck around and find out phase, Gavin? For those of you out there who are like, what does he mean? This means that like my three and a half year old is now old enough to want to know what the real consequences are to things. So when I&#39;m like, put on your shoes, and he&#39;s like, no, and I&#39;m like, if you don&#39;t, I&#39;m going to blank, he&#39;s like, do it. unknown: 0:59 Do it. David: 1:00 Fucking come at me, bro. And so now I&#39;ve either got to back up my threats with the thing I threatened, or I&#39;ve got to really turn. So we&#39;re in the fuck around and find out phase. Yeah. Which for somebody like my husband is okay because he&#39;s like, maybe let&#39;s calm down, let&#39;s find a new way to do this. Maybe let&#39;s let&#39;s let me get on your level. And when it comes to me, the immature asshole, I&#39;m like, I will let you die in this bathroom floor if you don&#39;t brush your teeth. You live here now until you brush those fucking teeth. So um, anyway, with just a new phase, which is super not fun, which is where my my three-year-old is like, I want to find out. I&#39;m gonna fuck around and I want to find out. Gavin: 1:42 So that&#39;s that immediately makes me think of a cat who&#39;s like walking along a counter and just kind of passively knocks something off the counter to see, like, hmm, what&#39;s the thing? David: 1:51 Yeah, but the cat makes sure to look at you in the eyes, and then you say, Don&#39;t knock it off the counter, and without breaking eye contact, pushes that thing off the counter. Gavin: 2:00 Well, I would say that my kids probably did that at some point. Although I we&#39;re still in a fuck around and find out mode. Well, are we in a fuck around and find out mode, or is it more like a don&#39;t fuck with me mode, which is my um wonderful tween who definitely has more um pizzazz in looking me straight in the eye and being like, I&#39;m not doing that. And there, I can hear in her tone of voice, there is no amount of cajoling I can do aside from taking away her phone. David: 2:27 That is worth offering her Duncan on the way to school, I hear, is a powerful tool. Gavin: 2:32 I know I&#39;m still gonna win because I pay the bills, but I there&#39;s a defiance in her voice that&#39;s like, no, I&#39;m not doing that. And um, oof, guess what, David? It&#39;s it&#39;s not a phase. It&#39;s not a phase. He&#39;s he&#39;s he will just be developing his fuck around and find out for the five. David: 2:50 But now at three and a half, I can still physically overpower him to force him to put his shoes on. You really I mean, at this point with your daughter, you can&#39;t really do that because she&#39;s uh yeah, totally. Gavin: 2:59 No, no, no, it&#39;s uh no, it&#39;s the real deal now. So um, so tonight, big day in our household because my daughter is going to her very first middle school dance. Oh, fuck. That is a big deal. It&#39;s a really big deal. And the thing is, um, for the past week I&#39;ve been like, so are you gonna do something beforehand? Are you gonna go get r]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week David&apos;s kid fucks around and finds out, we talk about the decision to go from one kid to two, and we invite a couple over to &#34;see what happens,&#34; with Stephen Hanna and Bret Shuford aka the Broadway Husbands. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 We&#39;re very kind people, you and I. Well, in gen uh profoundly, yes. But in the grand scheme, on a day-to-day basis, God, it&#39;s so much work to be kind, right? And it&#39;s so much more fun to be naughty and mean and catty. David: 0:16 And this is Gatriarchs. So, real quick rant. We are now in with my three-year-old, the fuck around and find out phase. Do you know what I&#39;m talking about when I say the fuck around and find out phase, Gavin? For those of you out ther]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with José Rolón</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jose-rolon/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 12 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is a single Dad, we go through some common words used in gay parenting, and the internet’s own Jose Rolon joins us to chat about being a social media star, his dating life, and he throws David some quality shade which he certainly deserved.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. David: 0:01 Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, something great is later. Whoops. Oh, Gabe. Shit, sorry. Gavin: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So for the last week, I have been a single dad. And what happened? It is uh My partner&#39;s away on work and uh he got to escape. He gets he got to fly the coop. And um I have to say, I, you know, it&#39;s these times that you are reminded um that there are all different ways of being a parent, and what&#39;s most comfortable to you is probably what you&#39;re in. And I it&#39;s these times though that I just so admire single parents and um I say, hats off. It&#39;s amazing what you do. Um and I am fortunate that I have my family unit together and I would rather not be uh single. But at the same time, like the yesterday, my daughter said to me, Are you so excited to sleep alone in your bed? And I&#39;m like, Well, I really miss Tati a lot. But hell yeah, I&#39;m excited about sleeping in bed alone. David: 1:19 Oh yes. Gavin: 1:20 I&#39;m gonna sleep like a starfish. And yep, absolutely. Or at least I have the option of sleeping like a starfish, although I feel like I have still been relegated to the six inches of my bed that I actually sleep on. But, you know, but also things are just kind of easier because I&#39;m the boss and there&#39;s no miscommunication and there&#39;s no unspoken assumptions, and also there are fewer towels and underwear left on the floor that I leave passive aggressively to say, hey, I&#39;m not gonna pick up after you. And it&#39;s kind of easier, frankly. David: 1:56 But you know what? It&#39;s it&#39;s also a good test because when you get to do it by yourself, you get to kind of prove to yourself if the things that you wish you were doing normally are better or are worse. Because some of them, like you&#39;re saying, you&#39;re like, you know what, it&#39;s easier if we just do it dad&#39;s way. And then sometimes you&#39;re like, oh yeah, yeah, no, we definitely were definitely doing it the wrong way. Gavin: 2:13 Oh, there&#39;s been a lot of it. It&#39;s everything would just be easier if the world, if my family and the world would work the way I want it to. For sure. For sure. David: 2:22 So I have a very close friend who um was over the other day and they were talking about um the the egg donor for so both my kids have the same egg donor, different, uh one of them is my DNA and one of them is uh my husband&#39;s DNA. So they&#39;re both genetically related by the the egg donor. And he was we were talking about that um because they they&#39;re starting to look alike right now. And he was saying, Oh, well, do do they have the same mom? And you could see his brain kind of go like short circuit a little bit. And I said, Yeah, they have the same egg donor. And he was immediately like, Oh, oh, I&#39;m so sorry, I didn&#39;t mean to, and I was like, you know, you didn&#39;t offend me. Yeah, and it reminded me that the words we use in in gay parenting, but also like just surrogacy and IVF and all these things are complicated, or people who don&#39;t know a lot about them can feel like they trip up on things. And I always tell people, I&#39;m like, you&#39;re allowed to say the wrong thing. I you&#39;re allowed to ask me questions about what things are. Like, that&#39;s not offensive to me. So I thought maybe we spend just a couple minutes really quick going through I feel like the most common terms that are heard in surrogacy and gay daddy, just to get them out there. And anybody who&#39;s listening who Yeah. So um the first one is is surrogate. So I think a lot of people know what generally that means is somebody, you know, somebody carrying a child that&#39;s maybe not theirs. So in general, there&#39;s two kinds of surrogates there&#39;s a gestational surrogate and a traditional surrogate. Now, a traditional surrogate is somebody who gets pregnant themselves with their own egg and they give birth, and then that baby is somebody else&#39;s, right? Um and then there&#39;s what&#39;s called a gestational surrogate, which is I think more common in the gay community, which is where an embryo is created in a lab. It&#39;s outside the body. They have an egg donor, they have the sperm donor, it&#39;s usually one of the dads. They create an embryo in the lab, and then that embryo is then transferred into a gestational surrogate. So, like the terrible way of saying that is like the gestational surrogate is the oven, but is not the bun. They&#39;re not related to the bun at all. Gavin: 4:16 Yeah, we did that, and I always try to explain to people there were three parties in making the kids. And we&#39;ve said to the kids also, you there were three parts, and that um, no, um, Cheryl, our phenomenal gestational surrogate is not the mom, and they know that. There was an egg donor, and then it um dad&#39;s daddy and tatty. We also did the same thing that you did. And um, and then there was the the third party that um where the kids cooked. And um yeah, three parties. David: 4:43 And something total side note, something I learned um during our second surrogacy. We had two different surrogates. Our first surrogate was uh my incredible uh sister-in-law, and then our second surrogate was somebody we had met in one of the matching groups, and one of the things I learned, I had always assumed, well, you&#39;re not genetically related to the child, so the kind of idea of like you having an influence on them are is kind of removed in a way. Yeah, and then I did some research on our second surrogacy because there was a a thing that came up, and I and it was really interesting, it was saying that there is influence in the gestational surrogate to the embryo because you know you have all these genetic uh like on and off switches in your DNA, right? And science doesn&#39;t exactly know why certain things are switched on and off and and a variety of reasons. And they were saying the the gestational surrogate can have an influence on which things are turned on and turned off. So, in a way, there is this beautiful kind of influence that your surrogate has on your child, even though it&#39;s not a DNA or kind of biological influence. There&#39;s a there&#39;s this like kind of mystery magical vibe. And I just thought our our second surrogate was was very much in that kind of like beautiful artistic headspace, and it was a kind of a cool thing to know. It&#39;s like, oh, there is a kind of connection there. Gavin: 6:00 Yeah, how could there not be a connection? And I would imagine that there&#39;s absolutely like there&#39;s an exchange of fluids and there&#39;s an exchange of endorphins and feelings, and there&#39;s no doubt that I mean the human body and pregnancy is absolutely a miracle. I mean, if you want to get religious about it, you can. It&#39;s just like it is an unit&#39;s an unbelievable thing that any of us are actually here. David: 6:19 But there&#39;s definitely a lot that I I purposely excluded the like relationship part of it, right? Like the relate the the experience you have with your gestational surrogate is an incredible, full of love. There&#39;s a lot, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a beautiful thing. I was just talking about like the D like the biological components are are I was surprised there is an influence. Anyway, yes, so you&#39;ll hear gestational surrogate or surrogate used a lot, or sometimes GS. Um, I say that a lot. Um, so that&#39;s what that means. So the next one I want to say is egg donor, just because my friend tripped up on this. So it gets a little weird because when you think about like who&#39;s the mom, it this is why the terms get very strange, but I feel like a lot of us in the gay parenting world, we call it the egg donor. So the egg donor, oh, you have the egg donor had blonde hair, you have blonde hair. It&#39;s not the mom, right? There is no mom, right? But also, I get why you&#39;re thinking that, right? Because the mom usually has the egg that gives the birth, and it&#39;s just not that way. So we often say, like, yo, yeah, you guys have the same egg donor, and she had, you know, kind of dark red hair and whatever. Um uh and then IVF, which is not, I think most people know, but just a reminder is like in vitro fertilization, it is a scientific process of kind of manipulating sperm and eggs and putting them together in a lab. Uh, and an embryologist creates these embryos and then they&#39;re transferred into the surrogate. So that that whole process and is like the umbrella of that is IVF, which I feel like a lot of people. Thank you. A lot of people know pretty well. And I just said embryologists. So, you know, the embryologist is the one who is sorting the sperm and the eggs and grading the eggs, and then creating these embryos, um, which are not babies. We won&#39;t get into that, but um, these embryos in the lab and then grading the embryos themselves. So uh embryos have a lot of uh different kinds of rating systems and stuff. Um, but the embryo and the embryologist, that&#39;s that kind of part of the process. And then we and then uh uh transfer. This is the one I always trip up. So transfer is when you take the embryo from the lab and you put it in the gestational circuit, you transfer it. But it&#39;s it gets a little weird because we all know what I&#39;m saying, and so it&#39;s like, oh, is that when you put in the when they get the we call it transfer, it&#39;s a much nicer word to say. That&#39;s when you get knocked up, yes. That&#39;s when you get knocked up. And we&#39;ve listened I&#39;ve I&#39;ve gotten transferred a couple times in college and it was great, but um, that is the process of like bringing the embryo into the surrogate, but it is exactly what we&#39;re saying, right? It&#39;s a it&#39;s a it&#39;s a it&#39;s a thing. It takes three seconds. I have this amazing photo. I hope she allows me to say this on on the podcast. You&#39;re not allowed to take photos, videos, or anything when you&#39;re kind of like in the space. Um, because we we were remote when we had our first transfer, and my amazing sister-in-law Erin was like, I&#39;m gonna take some sneaky photos. And there&#39;s a photo from her point of view, her legs splayed up in the air, and a doctor just like like head first down in there, and she just wanted to take a picture of the moment of transfer. And it&#39;s so. Oh, she did it, absolutely. Oh my god, it&#39;s one of my favorite photos ever because it&#39;s just like there&#39;s no, I mean there&#39;s no nudity, but it is like we know what&#39;s happening here, and there&#39;s there&#39;s a weird magical component of like this is when you got pregnant. Gavin: 9:41 Can I divert with the transfer? I have a transfer story in our surrogacy process. It was uh remote also, and the day that there was the transfer was supposed to take place, uh my our embryologist calls me and he says, uh, so we had a little bit of a hiccup. And I&#39;m like, uh-oh. Uh not what I want to hear on transfer day. And he goes, So uh your your surrogate carrier um was ready. Um, I assume, like, you know, not exactly legs in air, but was ready. And the um egg donor was there. I assume the way I imagine it is they were in two different rooms practically adjoining. So we were doing a fresh transfer. Embryologist calls me, we have a bit of a hiccup. Everything&#39;s ready to go, but we can&#39;t find your sperm. David: 10:26 And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m sorry, what? You&#39;re like, have you checked the bathroom cells at Port Authority? Because you can find it all there. Gavin: 10:35 There could be there could be there could be jizz scraped off of oh so many different places in New York City, frankly, or across the country or across the world. And you&#39;re telling me that when I jerked off into a Dixie cup at your facility, like, are you telling me that the nurse walked in to the the the the lab, looked in the freezer, and was like, hey, anybody seen Gavin Lodge&#39;s sperm? It was gone. Why does this icing taste so funny? And where is Gaben sperm? And uh so that that was a little hiccup in our process, and we had to uh do another cycle and uh jerk up into a Dixie cup yet again. David: 11:16 We&#39;re gonna have to do uh we&#39;ll do an episode on just the the embryo creation process from our point of view because it is a it is a kind of weird, wild, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll we&#39;ll do a surrogacy journey kind of uh episode in the future. Um, but the last three uh the terms I just want to go through really quickly, and these are all very kind of basic ones, but I I just want to make sure because I think I I I don&#39;t want people to ever feel like they can&#39;t ask questions or they&#39;re afraid to talk about things because they don&#39;t know the terms. So the other thing is kind of in the more adoptive world. So there&#39;s biological parent, um, uh, which is usually when you&#39;re talking about adoption, or I guess sometimes surrogacy, where you&#39;re talking about who&#39;s genet who&#39;s half the genetic makeup of that person, right? So like I am the biological dad of my son. Um and so biological parent is often used in um uh adoption as well, like, well, who is the bio parent for, you know, if you&#39;re looking for health history or whatever. Um, also birth mother is another one where I feel like that is usually in the adoptive community, right? Because I would never call our surrogate our birth mother. Um but a birth mother and adoptive that it makes a little more sense. Um and the last one is a little more narrow. We talked a little bit about this on episode two with Beth, is second parent adoption. So sometimes, depending on your the state you live in, you need to get what&#39;s called a second parent adoption. If you are not the biological parent of one of your kids, getting a second parent adoption is one of those like legal things that helps you in the future if your parentage ever comes into play. And it&#39;s where the non-biological parent, usually of a gay couple or or somebody who can&#39;t be a biological parent, uh officially adopts that child in a way to where they become a little more of an ironclad parent. Um and it&#39;s an unfortunate hoop that is recommended to a lot of people when they&#39;re doing IVF, um and they&#39;re not maybe biologically related to that particular child. So I just wanted to quickly go through those for anybody who maybe is like, oh God, um, because we throw them around a lot, especially on this podcast. Um if you ever have any other questions about certain words or certain terms, um, please email us at gatechrxpodcast at gmail.com. We&#39;d love to talk about it. But I never want, especially my close friends, but anybody out there to feel weird or feel like they can&#39;t ask questions because they don&#39;t know what the fuck we&#39;re talking about, or they don&#39;t want to say the wrong thing. If you say the mother and you meant egg donor, that&#39;s okay. Like it&#39;s totally fine. All right, so let&#39;s move to our top three list. This week is your list, Gavin. What is on the top three list this week? Gavin: 13:49 If you had three days without your kids at home, what would you do with your time? Now, immediately, I think number three for me is I would be immediately be planning vacations that I could take without my kids to just be able to do something that focuses on not having kids for a little while. So you&#39;d spend three days planning a future vacation. I mean, I would waste so much time uh just surfing nonsense. And one of those things is looking at kayak and just dreaming about future vacations. So honestly, number three is absolutely that. Number two is yes, I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week Gavin is a single Dad, we go through some common words used in gay parenting, and the internet’s own Jose Rolon joins us to chat about being a social media star, his dating life, and he throws David some quality shade which he certainly deserve]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week Gavin is a single Dad, we go through some common words used in gay parenting, and the internet’s own Jose Rolon joins us to chat about being a social media star, his dating life, and he throws David some quality shade which he certainly deserved.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. David: 0:01 Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, something great is later. Whoops. Oh, Gabe. Shit, sorry. Gavin: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So for the last week, I have been a single dad. And what happened? It is uh My partner&#39;s away on work and uh he got to escape. He gets he got to fly the coop. And um I have to say, I, you know, it&#39;s these times that you are reminded um that there are all different ways of being a parent, and what&#39;s most comfortable to you is probably what you&#39;re in. And I it&#39;s these times though that I just so admire single parents and um I say, hats off. It&#39;s amazing what you do. Um and I am fortunate that I have my family unit together and I would rather not be uh single. But at the same time, like the yesterday, my daughter said to me, Are you so excited to sleep alone in your bed? And I&#39;m like, Well, I really miss Tati a lot. But hell yeah, I&#39;m excited about sleeping in bed alone. David: 1:19 Oh yes. Gavin: 1:20 I&#39;m gonna sleep like a starfish. And yep, absolutely. Or at least I have the option of sleeping like a starfish, although I feel like I have still been relegated to the six inches of my bed that I actually sleep on. But, you know, but also things are just kind of easier because I&#39;m the boss and there&#39;s no miscommunication and there&#39;s no unspoken assumptions, and also there are fewer towels and underwear left on the floor that I leave passive aggressively to say, hey, I&#39;m not gonna pick up after you. And it&#39;s kind of easier, frankly. David: 1:56 But you know what? It&#39;s it&#39;s also a good test because when you get to do it by yourself, you get to kind of prove to yourself if the things that you wish you were doing normally are better or are worse. Because some of them, like you&#39;re saying, you&#39;re like, you know what, it&#39;s easier if we just do it dad&#39;s way. And then sometimes you&#39;re like, oh yeah, yeah, no, we definitely were definitely doing it the wrong way. Gavin: 2:13 Oh, there&#39;s been a lot of it. It&#39;s everything would just be easier if the world, if my family and the world would work the way I want it to. For sure. For sure. David: 2:22 So I have a very close friend who um was over the other day and they were talking about um the the egg donor for so both my kids have the same egg donor, different, uh one of them is my DNA and one of them is uh my husband&#39;s DNA. So they&#39;re both genetically related by the the egg donor. And he was we were talking about that um because they they&#39;re starting to look alike right now. And he was saying, Oh, well, do do they have the same mom? And you could see his brain kind of go like short circuit a little bit. And I said, Yeah, they have the same egg donor. And he was immediately like, Oh, oh, I&#39;m so sorry, I didn&#39;t mean to, and I was like, you know, you didn&#39;t offend me. Yeah, and it reminded me that the words we use in in gay parenting, but also like just surrogacy and IVF and all these things are complicated, or people who don&#39;t know a lot about them can feel like they trip up on things. And I always tell people, I&#39;m like, you&#39;re allowed to say the wrong thing. I you&#39;re allowed to ask me questions about what things are. Like, that&#39;s not offensive to me. So I thought maybe we spend just a couple minutes really quick going through I feel like the most common terms that are heard in surrogacy and gay daddy, just to get them out there. And anybody who&#39;s listening who Yeah. So um the first one is is surrogate. So I think a lot of people know what generally that means is somebody, you know, somebody carrying a child that&#39;s maybe not theirs. So in general, there&#39;s two kinds of surrogates there&#39;s a gestational surrogate and a traditional surrogate. Now, a traditional surrogate is somebody who gets pregnant themselves with their own egg and they give birth, and then that baby is somebody else&#39;s, right? Um and then there&#39;s what&#39;s called a gestational surrogate, which is I think more common in the gay community, which is where an embryo is created in a lab. It&#39;s outside the body. They have an egg donor, they have the sperm donor, it&#39;s usually one of the dads. They create an embryo in the lab, and then that embryo is then transferred into a gestational surrogate. So, like the terrible way of saying that is like the gestational surrogate is the oven, but is not the bun. They&#39;re not related to the bun at all. Gavin: 4:16 Yeah, we did that, and I always try to explain to people there were three parties in making the kids. And we&#39;ve said to the kids also, you there were three parts, and that um, no, um, Cheryl, our phenomenal gestational surrogate is not the mom, and they know that. There was an egg donor, and then it um dad&#39;s daddy and tatty. We also did the same thing that you did. And um, and then there was the the third party that um where the kids cooked. And um yeah, three parties. David: 4:43 And something total side note, something I learned um during our second surrogacy. We had two different surrogates. Our first surrogate was uh my incredible uh sister-in-law, and then our second surrogate was somebody we had met in one of the matching groups, and one of the things I learned, I had always assumed, well, you&#39;re not genetically related to the child, so the kind of idea of like you having an influence on them are is kind of removed in a way. Yeah, and then I did some research on our second surrogacy because there was a a thing that came up, and I and it was really interesting, it was saying that there is influence in the gestational surrogate to the embryo because you know you have all these genetic uh like on and off switches in your DNA, right? And science doesn&#39;t exactly know why certain things are switched on and off and and a variety of reasons. And they were saying the the gestational surrogate can have an influence on which things are turned on and turned off. So, in a way, there is this beautiful kind of influence that your surrogate has on your child, even though it&#39;s not a DNA or kind of biological influence. There&#39;s a there&#39;s this like kind of mystery magical vibe. And I just thought our our second surrogate was was very much in that kind of like beautiful artistic headspace, and it was a kind of a cool thing to know. It&#39;s like, oh, there is a kind of connection there. Gavin: 6:00 Yeah, how could there not be a connection? And I would imagine that there&#39;s absolutely like there&#39;s an exchange of fluids and there&#39;s an exchange of endorphins and feelings, and there&#39;s no doubt that I mean the human body and pregnancy is absolutely a miracle. I mean, if you want to get religious about it, you can. It&#39;s just like it is an unit&#39;s an unbelievable thing that any of us are actually here. David: 6:19 But there&#39;s definitely a lot that I I purposely excluded the like relationship part of it, right? Like the relate the the experience you have with your gestational surrogate is an incredible, full of love. There&#39;s a lot, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s a beautiful thing. I was just talking about like the D like the biological components are are I was surprised there is an influence. Anyway, yes, so you&#39;ll hear gestational surrogate or surrogate used a lot, or sometimes GS. Um, I say that a lot. Um, so that&#39;s what that means. So the next one I want to say is egg donor, just because my friend tripped up on this. So it gets a little weird because when you think about like who&#39;s the mom, it this is why the terms get very strange, but I feel like a lot of us in the gay parenting world, we call it the egg donor. So the egg donor, oh, you have the egg donor had blonde hair, you have blonde hair. It&#39;s not the mom, right? There is no mom, right? But also, I get why you&#39;re thinking that, right? Because the mom usually has the egg that gives the birth, and it&#39;s just not that way. So we often say, like, yo, yeah, you guys have the same egg donor, and she had, you know, kind of dark red hair and whatever. Um uh and then IVF, which is not, I think most people know, but just a reminder is like in vitro fertilization, it is a scientific process of kind of manipulating sperm and eggs and putting them together in a lab. Uh, and an embryologist creates these embryos and then they&#39;re transferred into the surrogate. So that that whole process and is like the umbrella of that is IVF, which I feel like a lot of people. Thank you. A lot of people know pretty well. And I just said embryologists. So, you know, the embryologist is the one who is sorting the sperm and the eggs and grading the eggs, and then creating these embryos, um, which are not babies. We won&#39;t get into that, but um, these embryos in the lab and then grading the embryos themselves. So uh embryos have a lot of uh different kinds of rating systems and stuff. Um, but the embryo and the embryologist, that&#39;s that kind of part of the process. And then we and then uh uh transfer. This is the one I always trip up. So transfer is when you take the embryo from the lab and you put it in the gestational circuit, you transfer it. But it&#39;s it gets a little weird because we all know what I&#39;m saying, and so it&#39;s like, oh, is that when you put in the when they get the we call it transfer, it&#39;s a much nicer word to say. That&#39;s when you get knocked up, yes. That&#39;s when you get knocked up. And we&#39;ve listened I&#39;ve I&#39;ve gotten transferred a couple times in college and it was great, but um, that is the process of like bringing the embryo into the surrogate, but it is exactly what we&#39;re saying, right? It&#39;s a it&#39;s a it&#39;s a it&#39;s a thing. It takes three seconds. I have this amazing photo. I hope she allows me to say this on on the podcast. You&#39;re not allowed to take photos, videos, or anything when you&#39;re kind of like in the space. Um, because we we were remote when we had our first transfer, and my amazing sister-in-law Erin was like, I&#39;m gonna take some sneaky photos. And there&#39;s a photo from her point of view, her legs splayed up in the air, and a doctor just like like head first down in there, and she just wanted to take a picture of the moment of transfer. And it&#39;s so. Oh, she did it, absolutely. Oh my god, it&#39;s one of my favorite photos ever because it&#39;s just like there&#39;s no, I mean there&#39;s no nudity, but it is like we know what&#39;s happening here, and there&#39;s there&#39;s a weird magical component of like this is when you got pregnant. Gavin: 9:41 Can I divert with the transfer? I have a transfer story in our surrogacy process. It was uh remote also, and the day that there was the transfer was supposed to take place, uh my our embryologist calls me and he says, uh, so we had a little bit of a hiccup. And I&#39;m like, uh-oh. Uh not what I want to hear on transfer day. And he goes, So uh your your surrogate carrier um was ready. Um, I assume, like, you know, not exactly legs in air, but was ready. And the um egg donor was there. I assume the way I imagine it is they were in two different rooms practically adjoining. So we were doing a fresh transfer. Embryologist calls me, we have a bit of a hiccup. Everything&#39;s ready to go, but we can&#39;t find your sperm. David: 10:26 And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m sorry, what? You&#39;re like, have you checked the bathroom cells at Port Authority? Because you can find it all there. Gavin: 10:35 There could be there could be there could be jizz scraped off of oh so many different places in New York City, frankly, or across the country or across the world. And you&#39;re telling me that when I jerked off into a Dixie cup at your facility, like, are you telling me that the nurse walked in to the the the the lab, looked in the freezer, and was like, hey, anybody seen Gavin Lodge&#39;s sperm? It was gone. Why does this icing taste so funny? And where is Gaben sperm? And uh so that that was a little hiccup in our process, and we had to uh do another cycle and uh jerk up into a Dixie cup yet again. David: 11:16 We&#39;re gonna have to do uh we&#39;ll do an episode on just the the embryo creation process from our point of view because it is a it is a kind of weird, wild, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll we&#39;ll do a surrogacy journey kind of uh episode in the future. Um, but the last three uh the terms I just want to go through really quickly, and these are all very kind of basic ones, but I I just want to make sure because I think I I I don&#39;t want people to ever feel like they can&#39;t ask questions or they&#39;re afraid to talk about things because they don&#39;t know the terms. So the other thing is kind of in the more adoptive world. So there&#39;s biological parent, um, uh, which is usually when you&#39;re talking about adoption, or I guess sometimes surrogacy, where you&#39;re talking about who&#39;s genet who&#39;s half the genetic makeup of that person, right? So like I am the biological dad of my son. Um and so biological parent is often used in um uh adoption as well, like, well, who is the bio parent for, you know, if you&#39;re looking for health history or whatever. Um, also birth mother is another one where I feel like that is usually in the adoptive community, right? Because I would never call our surrogate our birth mother. Um but a birth mother and adoptive that it makes a little more sense. Um and the last one is a little more narrow. We talked a little bit about this on episode two with Beth, is second parent adoption. So sometimes, depending on your the state you live in, you need to get what&#39;s called a second parent adoption. If you are not the biological parent of one of your kids, getting a second parent adoption is one of those like legal things that helps you in the future if your parentage ever comes into play. And it&#39;s where the non-biological parent, usually of a gay couple or or somebody who can&#39;t be a biological parent, uh officially adopts that child in a way to where they become a little more of an ironclad parent. Um and it&#39;s an unfortunate hoop that is recommended to a lot of people when they&#39;re doing IVF, um and they&#39;re not maybe biologically related to that particular child. So I just wanted to quickly go through those for anybody who maybe is like, oh God, um, because we throw them around a lot, especially on this podcast. Um if you ever have any other questions about certain words or certain terms, um, please email us at gatechrxpodcast at gmail.com. We&#39;d love to talk about it. But I never want, especially my close friends, but anybody out there to feel weird or feel like they can&#39;t ask questions because they don&#39;t know what the fuck we&#39;re talking about, or they don&#39;t want to say the wrong thing. If you say the mother and you meant egg donor, that&#39;s okay. Like it&#39;s totally fine. All right, so let&#39;s move to our top three list. This week is your list, Gavin. What is on the top three list this week? Gavin: 13:49 If you had three days without your kids at home, what would you do with your time? Now, immediately, I think number three for me is I would be immediately be planning vacations that I could take without my kids to just be able to do something that focuses on not having kids for a little while. So you&#39;d spend three days planning a future vacation. I mean, I would waste so much time uh just surfing nonsense. And one of those things is looking at kayak and just dreaming about future vacations. So honestly, number three is absolutely that. Number two is yes, I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week Gavin is a single Dad, we go through some common words used in gay parenting, and the internet’s own Jose Rolon joins us to chat about being a social media star, his dating life, and he throws David some quality shade which he certainly deserved.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. David: 0:01 Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, something great is later. Whoops. Oh, Gabe. Shit, sorry. Gavin: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So for the last week, I have been a single dad. And what happened? It is uh My partner&#39;s away on work and uh he got to escape. He gets he got to fly the coop. And um I have to say, I, you know, it&#39;s these times that you are reminded um that there are all different ways of being a parent, and what&#39;s most comfortable to you is probably what you&#39;re in. And I it&#39;s these times though that I just so admire single parents and um I say, hats off. It&#39;s amazing what you do. Um and I am fortunate that I have my family unit together and I would rather not be uh single. But at the same time, like the yesterday, my daughter said to me, Are you so excited to sleep alone in your bed? And I&#39;m like, Well, I really miss Tati a lot. But hell yeah, I&#39;m excited about sleeping in bed alone. David: 1:19 Oh yes. Gavin: 1:20 I&#39;m gonna sleep like a starfish. And yep, absolutely. Or at least I have the option of sleeping like a starfish, although I feel like I have still been relegated to the six inches of my bed that I actually sleep on. But, you know, but also things are just kind of easier because I&#39;m the boss and there&#39;s no miscommunication and there&#39;s no unspoken assumptions, and also there are fewer towels and underwear left on the floor that I leave passive aggressively to say, hey, I&#39;m not gonna pick up after you. And it&#39;s kind of easier, frankly. David: 1:56 But you know what? It&#39;s it&#39;s also a good test because when you get to do it by yourself, you get to kind of prove to yourself if the things that you wish you were doing normally are better or are worse. Because some of them, like you&#39;re saying, you&#39;re like, you know what, it&#39;s easier if we just do it dad&#39;s way. And then sometimes you&#39;re like, oh yeah, yeah, no, we definitely were definitely doing it the wrong way. Gavin: 2:13 Oh, there&#39;s been a lot of it. It&#39;s everything would just be easier if the world, if my family and the world would work the way I want it to. For sure. For sure. David: 2:22 So I have a very close friend who um was over the other day and they were talking about um the the egg donor for so both my kids have the same egg donor, different, uh one of them is my DNA and one of them is uh my husband&#39;s DNA. So they&#39;re both genetically related by the the egg donor. And he was we were talking about that um because they they&#39;re starting to look alike right now. And he was saying, Oh, well, do do they have the same mom? And you could see his brain kind of go like short circuit a little bit. And I said, Yeah, they have the same egg donor. And he was immediately like, Oh, oh, I&#39;m so sorry, I didn&#39;t mean to, and I was like, you know, you didn&#39;t offend me. Yeah, and it reminded me that the words we use in in gay parenting, but also like just surrogacy and IVF and all these things are complicated, or people who don&#39;t know a lot about them can feel like they trip up on things. And I always tell people, I&#39;m like, you&#39;re allowed to say the wrong thing. I you&#39;re allowed to ask me questions about what things are. Like, that&#39;s not offensive to me. So I thought maybe we spend just a couple minutes really quick going through I feel like the most ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week Gavin is a single Dad, we go through some common words used in gay parenting, and the internet’s own Jose Rolon joins us to chat about being a social media star, his dating life, and he throws David some quality shade which he certainly deserved.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 And that&#39;s our show. David: 0:01 Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, something great is later. Whoops. Oh, Gabe. Shit, sorry. Gavin: 0:09 And this is Gatriarchs. So for the last week, I have been a single dad. And what happened? It is uh My partner&#39;s away on work and uh he got to escape. He gets he got to fly the coop. And um I have to say, I, you know, it&#39;s these times that you are reminded um that there are all differen]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Sloan Just</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-sloan-just/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin introduces his daughter to a very new piece of cinema, David meets his 3 year old at his maturity level, and Sloan Just aka “the Madame of 9th Avenue” joins us to talk through her IVF journey, who has the best cookies in midtown, and how to follow through on threats to your kids. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh, that was the that was the transition. That was it. Yeah, okay. David: 0:03 And that that that that was that was the cue for you. Gavin: 0:07 Hey, this this this high tech thing is uh is uh throwing me. I&#39;m with you now. David: 0:11 Anything beyond AOL and Nana gets confused. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:29 So this weekend, uh my daughter, it was probably about 9.30 or 10 already, and she&#39;s like, Well, it&#39;s not a Saturday night if we don&#39;t watch a movie. I&#39;m like, alright, jeez. I mean, my son had already gone to bed, so it&#39;s fine. I&#39;m like, okay, well, let&#39;s do this. And um, she&#39;s flipping through Netflix or wherever she was flipping, and she goes, Greece? What is Greece? Is it like about is it like about the country or like hair? And I&#39;m like, oh, that was actually pretty insightful. You know what? Let&#39;s watch Greece. You&#39;re old enough for Greece. Let&#39;s do Greece. Let&#39;s do it. So we watch Greece. And I&#39;m finding myself, you know, at the beginning having to stop and explain this. She was already bored, by the way. In the if you recall, there&#39;s a really long introduction to the movie with the um, you know, the the 70s Bee Gees music, which is suddenly not at all the 1950s, right? And then there&#39;s the love is a trans, and they&#39;re on, Sandy and Danny are out on the beach, and she&#39;s like, This is this gonna be a weird kissing movie, and I&#39;m like, oh, buckle up. Anyway, we watch the movie. I&#39;m watching it for the very first time with really adult eyes. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve watched it since high school. I&#39;ve seen a bunch of stage productions, whatever. I get it. And my daughter&#39;s like, This, this is so weird. This is so bonkers, and there are so many elements, of course, that I&#39;m having to think like, I hope you didn&#39;t get that joke, I hope you didn&#39;t get didn&#39;t get that reference. Then we&#39;re like, you know, a real pussy driver in um load up a fight. Yes, exactly. Oh, and yeah, the whole thing is about like obviously men tapping ass, right? But mainly, so there&#39;s there&#39;s a lot of complications. I don&#39;t know. The movie does not need to be censored or cancelled for sure, but it is a really, really dated piece, without a doubt. But then you get to the end, and I was rolling on the floor with my daughter, where she was like, when they&#39;re singing, We Go Together, suddenly there&#39;s all these dancers who are coming out of nowhere, and they are wearing the strangest costumes. There&#39;s this one guy who&#39;s wearing shorts, but he&#39;s wearing white socks pulled up to his knees, and he&#39;s he probably looks 45 years old or so, and he&#39;s dancing with all these high school kids, which of course is sort of the conceit behind Grease, but at the same time, the movie, I don&#39;t know, you just go along with it. But this guy is clearly 15 years older than everybody else. There&#39;s a guy wearing green shorts. There&#39;s just suddenly, oh, I I said that. There&#39;s a guy anyway, there&#39;s just all of these bizarre dancers who have come out of nowhere and they&#39;re doing these weird penguin dancing, dancing. And then Sandy and Danny, as you may recall, drive off into the sunset in their car, suddenly flying. And my daughter&#39;s looking at me like she was laughing uproariously because the whole show is so stupid. And then to just go really deep, Stalker Channing actually acts the shit out of Rizzo. She&#39;s great. Um, John Travolta is really charming ultimately. Of course, Olivia Newton John. Like, I was watching it thinking the acting is actually pretty good, but man, some of the singing is abominable. David: 3:19 And the story is just fucking stupid. And we all keep doing the show just because it&#39;s the show to do. We&#39;ve never sat down and questioned, like, what are we doing with our lives? Gavin: 3:28 Lowest common denominator for sure. And having to explain to your kid, listen, becoming I mean, compromising yourself entirely and becoming a smoker so that you can get the partner. I mean, and but luckily, she&#39;s like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I get that. You don&#39;t have to explain that to me. So, you know, hopefully I&#39;ve instilled some lessons in it. But one of the lessons also is I&#39;m sure we will not, she&#39;s not gonna become a Grease aficionado watching it 87 times in high school like some do. David: 3:55 No, but there&#39;s all there&#39;s also the whole like child eyes and adult eyes. So, like, she&#39;s seeing it through her her eyes, which is a very different experience than us because do you ever go back and watch like Ren and Stimpy? Do you know how fucking dark and diabolical and twisted that show was? And I just watched it being like, oh, they&#39;re so funny. Right. But but in a good way, in a highbrow kind of way? I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s just like I don&#39;t know. I I listen, that&#39;s probably why I&#39;m gay, is Ren and Stimpy, so I&#39;m gonna go ahead and play Nickelodeon on me. No, I&#39;m I&#39;m just I&#39;m just like to blame things on other people. Um uh which brings me honestly to my next point, which is Gavin, if I&#39;m gonna be honest, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m meant to be a good parent. Like, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s in the cards for me, and here&#39;s why I have the emotional maturity of a three-year-old. Because my son grew he woke up this morning, and I&#39;m just and any parent out there listening knows this. Like, sometimes your kid wake up wakes up on the wrong side of the bed with a dark cloud over him, however you want to say it, like they&#39;re just grumpy. They are grumpy monkey, if you&#39;ve read that book, um, and they are just mad at the day. And what happens to immature assholes like me is that it starts to wear on you and it starts to wear you down, and at some point I just go, you know what? I just ignore Michelle Obama. I&#39;m like, when they go low, you go high. No, when they go low, I go subterranean. I dig so far deep into the earth&#39;s mantle because I just like you know what? I&#39;m gonna fight fire with fire. That is I&#39;m just here to tell you from the future, that is the wrong move. You acting like a three-year-old to a three-year-old only ends in heartache. My son just awoke up this morning with j just just mad at everything. He was like, I don&#39;t wanna get dressed. I was like, it&#39;s fine, don&#39;t get dressed. And then he starts crying, I wanna get dressed. And I&#39;m like, I I am not mature enough to handle this today. And and the thing that really broke me today was he demanded that he wear his cape in the car. Okay? And I&#39;m like, fine, wear your cape in the car, but you&#39;re not bringing it into school. And I made this arbitrary line in the sand, you are not wearing it into school. Knowing full well kids walk into that fucking school in capes and dresses and crowns and all the bullshit. But I had decided, because I&#39;m an immature asshole, that I&#39;m gonna hold that line. Well, Gavin, what do you think happened when it was time to get out of the car? Gavin: 6:20 Tell me. He was like Who was in tears? Were you in tears? David: 6:23 He is like, I am going to wear this cape into school, and I said, over my dead body. And we had a standoff in the parking lot for about 10 minutes, and I was not proud of myself, but I realized like to fight the fire of a three-year-old, you cannot match their maturity level. Which I&#39;m sure all our listeners are going, yeah, David, you fucking idiot. You&#39;re freaking out. It&#39;s no obvious ready. Act like a 43-year-old. Gavin: 6:48 And all of you out there, surely you&#39;ve also dug subterranean and gone head to head with your three-year-old. I mean, come on, have we all done this? You know, this almost exact same thing happened with me today, which is my daughter was um frantically getting ready for school. She was pulling out a bunch of old papers, and she pulled out some math assignments that she had been graded on, and the grades were not up to my standards. And I mistakenly said, Oh, this is worrisome. And I didn&#39;t really say it. I wasn&#39;t, it wasn&#39;t meant to be passive aggressive. I didn&#39;t even really want her to hear me say that, but I really was like, oh, this doesn&#39;t look good. She flipped out at me. No, I didn&#39;t flip out back at her, but the fact that I didn&#39;t just go let it go, because we were about to walk out the door anyway. So then though, then this is the part that rubs me wrong. And I&#39;m curious about your husband in this scenario, or if you&#39;ve even debriefed it with him. He comes down and he&#39;s like, you know, sometimes you just gotta deal with it, you gotta realize you&#39;re dealing with a psychopath, a temporary psychopath, and you have to go high. You have to pull an Obama, you have to be the one who just completely counters the energy. And I&#39;m like, oh, you weren&#39;t here, and he&#39;s but I mean, come on, you this happened exactly to you last night, and he was like, Well, kind of, but you know, he was able to school me on how to parent what&#39;s going on. Doesn&#39;t that enrage you? David: 8:07 Yes, your husband is the better person. And you&#39;re like, oh, now I&#39;m the asshole. Yes. And your husband&#39;s like, no, you&#39;ve always been the asshole, honey. Yeah, no, that my husband is for sure the calm, thoughtful. He&#39;s like, I he comes up with games to play, like, and I&#39;m just like checking the clock. Listen, it&#39;s about we&#39;re balancing each other out, right? But every you know what is really actually super satisfying is when your husband or mine breaks a little bit. When they, for a second, give in to that, like, I how like I&#39;ll hear, like, I&#39;ll hear him putting um my son up to bed upstairs, and I know he&#39;s being a dick. Gavin: 8:41 He&#39;s like, I&#39;m not gonna brush my teeth, I&#39;m not gonna do this, and then you hear your husband lose it, and you just kind of go, yes, it just feels satisfying, and you get to be a little smug to yourself, hopefully not to your hubs, but like to yourself, you&#39;re like, that is so gratifying. David: 8:58 Okay, our next guest is somebody with as varied of a career and narrow eardrums as anybody I know. She is a Broadway performer, a choreographer, a teacher, a mom, a restaurateur, and now she is lucky to add guest on Gatriarchs to her resume. It&#39;s going right to the top. It&#39;s Broadway&#39;s Sloan Just. Hi, Sloan. SPEAKER_00: 9:19 Hi, Gatriarchs. David: 9:20 Hi! SPEAKER_00: 9:22 I&#39;m so happy to be here. David: 9:23 I have a question for you, and it&#39;s okay if I&#39;m Well, this is not our interview, but okay, go ahead. unknown: 9:28 Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 9:28 Or is it? Oh, there we go. Um, am I the first person with a vagina on this podcast? David: 9:34 You are not. You are but but, however, you are the first straight woman who wasn&#39;t raised by two women on our podcast. So if you want to put that on a brass plate in your office, yeah, the most basic woman we&#39;ve had so far. SPEAKER_00: 9:53 That is always the goal, so I&#39;m thrilled. I&#39;m like sis, I&#39;m sis. Um from a heteronormative familial environment. Yes. Does the Jewishness have any kind of flavor? Eh. Not nothing. I mean on gatriarchs, like it&#39;s a mild seasoning. It&#39;s not, it&#39;s like an everything bagel. David: 10:10 Like, it&#39;s like boiled chicken. Do you know what I mean? It&#39;s got the flavor of boiled chicken. SPEAKER_00: 10:15 And it&#39;s good for you. Okay. I&#39;ll take it. I&#39;m I&#39;m I love that you called me a restaurateur. I have nothing to do with my husband&#39;s business, but I harass him there often. You can find me there because I&#39;ll be harassing him. David: 10:25 Well, when we were talking, so Sloan and I did, so we we all know Sloan through various points in our lives, and I knew Sloan Sloan and I knew each other for this very narrow little part of our lives. But Sloan&#39;s husband is a restaurateur, and he owns, I don&#39;t know, the the most famous or definitely top 10 most famous, like midtown, every actor knows them restaurants. Five napkin burger, which I&#39;ve eaten at constantly. Yep, so good. Uh Nizza Schma Schmackeries, my God, like anybody who&#39;s ever been to New York City has been to Schmackeries and hated themselves for it. Please keep coming. SPEAKER_00: 10:58 Can I children have needs? I just I encourage you to buy cookies and and share them with your friends. Gavin: 11:04 I have this right in front of me. I have a gift certificate that must be 10 years old, but I&#39;m assuming that since I now know you, you can cash this in. SPEAKER_00: 11:14 We&#39;ll see how this goes. Yeah. David: 11:17 I will say I&#39;m slightly upset with the fact that Schmacker&#39;s only has the key lime cookie once in a blue moon. Right. And so um I say we get we invite some of the Nazis to Schmackeries and protest Schmackeries until we get those key lime cookies. Gavin: 11:31 That might need a little context. That might we might be explained. David: 11:35 They didn&#39;t hear the previous context. Well, did you tell us? Tell us what you&#39;re going to do tonight. Tell us about the Nazis. SPEAKER_00: 11:40 Well, I have so much, so many Nazi stories. But tonight&#39;s Nazi tale, um, I&#39;m gonna go see the opening of Parade on on the Broadway, um, which I was great I so Robert, the husband that we were talking about, um, my first husband and current husband, he um, in addition to for now, we&#39;ll see. It&#39;s only been 17 years. You never know how these things are gonna go. But he um has a new tiki lounge underneath Marseille, it&#39;s called the Freaky Tiki. And his partner in the Freaky Tiki is one of the producers of um Parade, Greg Noble. And I happen to have a bunch of friends in Parade, so it&#39;s one of those lucky things where he&#39;s like, Do you guys want to go? And I&#39;m like, Hell yeah. However, I&#39;m told there will be Nazis, you know, registering their dismay at, I don&#39;t know, a story about a man, a Jewish man being lynched, I don&#39;t know. David: 12:24 I was about to say, can you explain that to me? Because Parade is anybody who&#39;s kind of inside our world knows that parade is like one of those shows that everyone looks at as like just a uh almost a perfect piece of art. But let&#39;s just talk about the story. The story is about a Jewish man from a very, very long time ago being falsely accused of something and then lynched for it, right? Right. So why why are Nazis mad at that? SPEAKER_00: 12:44 They are upset from what I hear through the Nazi channels that I&#39;m you know connected to. That not really, from the actors in the show. They are upset that they think that Leo Frank, it is Leo Frank, right? Yeah, that&#39;s his thing. David: 12:58 Yeah, Leo Frank is the lead character who gets lynched. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Correct. They believe he actually was not railroaded, and they want everyone to know that um that it&#39;s okay that he was lynched because he in fact was doing the things he was accused of doing. David: 13:10 That this that this that this musical on Broadway got it wrong of the historical story that they&#39;ve never heard until their friends told them to meet them at the theater and bring a sign. SPEAKER_00: 13:23 It&#39;s just so bizarre. And I&#39;m trying to tell my kids like so guys, like if mommy goes to jail tonight, it&#39;s because it&#39;s because of the Nazis. Right. David: 13:31 I want to tell you that Gatearchs will match any donation for your bail. Yes. Uh if you if you punch a Nazi. Uh to$27. Up to$27 and a an outdated Schmacker&#39;s gift card. SPEAKER_00: 13:44 I have to say, I used to be quite good friends with the police in that neighborhood for various reasons. And Rob and Robert has a good relationship with them as well....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, Gavin introduces his daughter to a very new piece of cinema, David meets his 3 year old at his maturity level, and Sloan Just aka “the Madame of 9th Avenue” joins us to talk through her IVF journey, who has the best cookies in midtown, and how]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, Gavin introduces his daughter to a very new piece of cinema, David meets his 3 year old at his maturity level, and Sloan Just aka “the Madame of 9th Avenue” joins us to talk through her IVF journey, who has the best cookies in midtown, and how to follow through on threats to your kids. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh, that was the that was the transition. That was it. Yeah, okay. David: 0:03 And that that that that was that was the cue for you. Gavin: 0:07 Hey, this this this high tech thing is uh is uh throwing me. I&#39;m with you now. David: 0:11 Anything beyond AOL and Nana gets confused. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:29 So this weekend, uh my daughter, it was probably about 9.30 or 10 already, and she&#39;s like, Well, it&#39;s not a Saturday night if we don&#39;t watch a movie. I&#39;m like, alright, jeez. I mean, my son had already gone to bed, so it&#39;s fine. I&#39;m like, okay, well, let&#39;s do this. And um, she&#39;s flipping through Netflix or wherever she was flipping, and she goes, Greece? What is Greece? Is it like about is it like about the country or like hair? And I&#39;m like, oh, that was actually pretty insightful. You know what? Let&#39;s watch Greece. You&#39;re old enough for Greece. Let&#39;s do Greece. Let&#39;s do it. So we watch Greece. And I&#39;m finding myself, you know, at the beginning having to stop and explain this. She was already bored, by the way. In the if you recall, there&#39;s a really long introduction to the movie with the um, you know, the the 70s Bee Gees music, which is suddenly not at all the 1950s, right? And then there&#39;s the love is a trans, and they&#39;re on, Sandy and Danny are out on the beach, and she&#39;s like, This is this gonna be a weird kissing movie, and I&#39;m like, oh, buckle up. Anyway, we watch the movie. I&#39;m watching it for the very first time with really adult eyes. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve watched it since high school. I&#39;ve seen a bunch of stage productions, whatever. I get it. And my daughter&#39;s like, This, this is so weird. This is so bonkers, and there are so many elements, of course, that I&#39;m having to think like, I hope you didn&#39;t get that joke, I hope you didn&#39;t get didn&#39;t get that reference. Then we&#39;re like, you know, a real pussy driver in um load up a fight. Yes, exactly. Oh, and yeah, the whole thing is about like obviously men tapping ass, right? But mainly, so there&#39;s there&#39;s a lot of complications. I don&#39;t know. The movie does not need to be censored or cancelled for sure, but it is a really, really dated piece, without a doubt. But then you get to the end, and I was rolling on the floor with my daughter, where she was like, when they&#39;re singing, We Go Together, suddenly there&#39;s all these dancers who are coming out of nowhere, and they are wearing the strangest costumes. There&#39;s this one guy who&#39;s wearing shorts, but he&#39;s wearing white socks pulled up to his knees, and he&#39;s he probably looks 45 years old or so, and he&#39;s dancing with all these high school kids, which of course is sort of the conceit behind Grease, but at the same time, the movie, I don&#39;t know, you just go along with it. But this guy is clearly 15 years older than everybody else. There&#39;s a guy wearing green shorts. There&#39;s just suddenly, oh, I I said that. There&#39;s a guy anyway, there&#39;s just all of these bizarre dancers who have come out of nowhere and they&#39;re doing these weird penguin dancing, dancing. And then Sandy and Danny, as you may recall, drive off into the sunset in their car, suddenly flying. And my daughter&#39;s looking at me like she was laughing uproariously because the whole show is so stupid. And then to just go really deep, Stalker Channing actually acts the shit out of Rizzo. She&#39;s great. Um, John Travolta is really charming ultimately. Of course, Olivia Newton John. Like, I was watching it thinking the acting is actually pretty good, but man, some of the singing is abominable. David: 3:19 And the story is just fucking stupid. And we all keep doing the show just because it&#39;s the show to do. We&#39;ve never sat down and questioned, like, what are we doing with our lives? Gavin: 3:28 Lowest common denominator for sure. And having to explain to your kid, listen, becoming I mean, compromising yourself entirely and becoming a smoker so that you can get the partner. I mean, and but luckily, she&#39;s like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I get that. You don&#39;t have to explain that to me. So, you know, hopefully I&#39;ve instilled some lessons in it. But one of the lessons also is I&#39;m sure we will not, she&#39;s not gonna become a Grease aficionado watching it 87 times in high school like some do. David: 3:55 No, but there&#39;s all there&#39;s also the whole like child eyes and adult eyes. So, like, she&#39;s seeing it through her her eyes, which is a very different experience than us because do you ever go back and watch like Ren and Stimpy? Do you know how fucking dark and diabolical and twisted that show was? And I just watched it being like, oh, they&#39;re so funny. Right. But but in a good way, in a highbrow kind of way? I don&#39;t know. It&#39;s just like I don&#39;t know. I I listen, that&#39;s probably why I&#39;m gay, is Ren and Stimpy, so I&#39;m gonna go ahead and play Nickelodeon on me. No, I&#39;m I&#39;m just I&#39;m just like to blame things on other people. Um uh which brings me honestly to my next point, which is Gavin, if I&#39;m gonna be honest, I don&#39;t think I&#39;m meant to be a good parent. Like, I don&#39;t think it&#39;s in the cards for me, and here&#39;s why I have the emotional maturity of a three-year-old. Because my son grew he woke up this morning, and I&#39;m just and any parent out there listening knows this. Like, sometimes your kid wake up wakes up on the wrong side of the bed with a dark cloud over him, however you want to say it, like they&#39;re just grumpy. They are grumpy monkey, if you&#39;ve read that book, um, and they are just mad at the day. And what happens to immature assholes like me is that it starts to wear on you and it starts to wear you down, and at some point I just go, you know what? I just ignore Michelle Obama. I&#39;m like, when they go low, you go high. No, when they go low, I go subterranean. I dig so far deep into the earth&#39;s mantle because I just like you know what? I&#39;m gonna fight fire with fire. That is I&#39;m just here to tell you from the future, that is the wrong move. You acting like a three-year-old to a three-year-old only ends in heartache. My son just awoke up this morning with j just just mad at everything. He was like, I don&#39;t wanna get dressed. I was like, it&#39;s fine, don&#39;t get dressed. And then he starts crying, I wanna get dressed. And I&#39;m like, I I am not mature enough to handle this today. And and the thing that really broke me today was he demanded that he wear his cape in the car. Okay? And I&#39;m like, fine, wear your cape in the car, but you&#39;re not bringing it into school. And I made this arbitrary line in the sand, you are not wearing it into school. Knowing full well kids walk into that fucking school in capes and dresses and crowns and all the bullshit. But I had decided, because I&#39;m an immature asshole, that I&#39;m gonna hold that line. Well, Gavin, what do you think happened when it was time to get out of the car? Gavin: 6:20 Tell me. He was like Who was in tears? Were you in tears? David: 6:23 He is like, I am going to wear this cape into school, and I said, over my dead body. And we had a standoff in the parking lot for about 10 minutes, and I was not proud of myself, but I realized like to fight the fire of a three-year-old, you cannot match their maturity level. Which I&#39;m sure all our listeners are going, yeah, David, you fucking idiot. You&#39;re freaking out. It&#39;s no obvious ready. Act like a 43-year-old. Gavin: 6:48 And all of you out there, surely you&#39;ve also dug subterranean and gone head to head with your three-year-old. I mean, come on, have we all done this? You know, this almost exact same thing happened with me today, which is my daughter was um frantically getting ready for school. She was pulling out a bunch of old papers, and she pulled out some math assignments that she had been graded on, and the grades were not up to my standards. And I mistakenly said, Oh, this is worrisome. And I didn&#39;t really say it. I wasn&#39;t, it wasn&#39;t meant to be passive aggressive. I didn&#39;t even really want her to hear me say that, but I really was like, oh, this doesn&#39;t look good. She flipped out at me. No, I didn&#39;t flip out back at her, but the fact that I didn&#39;t just go let it go, because we were about to walk out the door anyway. So then though, then this is the part that rubs me wrong. And I&#39;m curious about your husband in this scenario, or if you&#39;ve even debriefed it with him. He comes down and he&#39;s like, you know, sometimes you just gotta deal with it, you gotta realize you&#39;re dealing with a psychopath, a temporary psychopath, and you have to go high. You have to pull an Obama, you have to be the one who just completely counters the energy. And I&#39;m like, oh, you weren&#39;t here, and he&#39;s but I mean, come on, you this happened exactly to you last night, and he was like, Well, kind of, but you know, he was able to school me on how to parent what&#39;s going on. Doesn&#39;t that enrage you? David: 8:07 Yes, your husband is the better person. And you&#39;re like, oh, now I&#39;m the asshole. Yes. And your husband&#39;s like, no, you&#39;ve always been the asshole, honey. Yeah, no, that my husband is for sure the calm, thoughtful. He&#39;s like, I he comes up with games to play, like, and I&#39;m just like checking the clock. Listen, it&#39;s about we&#39;re balancing each other out, right? But every you know what is really actually super satisfying is when your husband or mine breaks a little bit. When they, for a second, give in to that, like, I how like I&#39;ll hear, like, I&#39;ll hear him putting um my son up to bed upstairs, and I know he&#39;s being a dick. Gavin: 8:41 He&#39;s like, I&#39;m not gonna brush my teeth, I&#39;m not gonna do this, and then you hear your husband lose it, and you just kind of go, yes, it just feels satisfying, and you get to be a little smug to yourself, hopefully not to your hubs, but like to yourself, you&#39;re like, that is so gratifying. David: 8:58 Okay, our next guest is somebody with as varied of a career and narrow eardrums as anybody I know. She is a Broadway performer, a choreographer, a teacher, a mom, a restaurateur, and now she is lucky to add guest on Gatriarchs to her resume. It&#39;s going right to the top. It&#39;s Broadway&#39;s Sloan Just. Hi, Sloan. SPEAKER_00: 9:19 Hi, Gatriarchs. David: 9:20 Hi! SPEAKER_00: 9:22 I&#39;m so happy to be here. David: 9:23 I have a question for you, and it&#39;s okay if I&#39;m Well, this is not our interview, but okay, go ahead. unknown: 9:28 Yeah. SPEAKER_00: 9:28 Or is it? Oh, there we go. Um, am I the first person with a vagina on this podcast? David: 9:34 You are not. You are but but, however, you are the first straight woman who wasn&#39;t raised by two women on our podcast. So if you want to put that on a brass plate in your office, yeah, the most basic woman we&#39;ve had so far. SPEAKER_00: 9:53 That is always the goal, so I&#39;m thrilled. I&#39;m like sis, I&#39;m sis. Um from a heteronormative familial environment. Yes. Does the Jewishness have any kind of flavor? Eh. Not nothing. I mean on gatriarchs, like it&#39;s a mild seasoning. It&#39;s not, it&#39;s like an everything bagel. David: 10:10 Like, it&#39;s like boiled chicken. Do you know what I mean? It&#39;s got the flavor of boiled chicken. SPEAKER_00: 10:15 And it&#39;s good for you. Okay. I&#39;ll take it. I&#39;m I&#39;m I love that you called me a restaurateur. I have nothing to do with my husband&#39;s business, but I harass him there often. You can find me there because I&#39;ll be harassing him. David: 10:25 Well, when we were talking, so Sloan and I did, so we we all know Sloan through various points in our lives, and I knew Sloan Sloan and I knew each other for this very narrow little part of our lives. But Sloan&#39;s husband is a restaurateur, and he owns, I don&#39;t know, the the most famous or definitely top 10 most famous, like midtown, every actor knows them restaurants. Five napkin burger, which I&#39;ve eaten at constantly. Yep, so good. Uh Nizza Schma Schmackeries, my God, like anybody who&#39;s ever been to New York City has been to Schmackeries and hated themselves for it. Please keep coming. SPEAKER_00: 10:58 Can I children have needs? I just I encourage you to buy cookies and and share them with your friends. Gavin: 11:04 I have this right in front of me. I have a gift certificate that must be 10 years old, but I&#39;m assuming that since I now know you, you can cash this in. SPEAKER_00: 11:14 We&#39;ll see how this goes. Yeah. David: 11:17 I will say I&#39;m slightly upset with the fact that Schmacker&#39;s only has the key lime cookie once in a blue moon. Right. And so um I say we get we invite some of the Nazis to Schmackeries and protest Schmackeries until we get those key lime cookies. Gavin: 11:31 That might need a little context. That might we might be explained. David: 11:35 They didn&#39;t hear the previous context. Well, did you tell us? Tell us what you&#39;re going to do tonight. Tell us about the Nazis. SPEAKER_00: 11:40 Well, I have so much, so many Nazi stories. But tonight&#39;s Nazi tale, um, I&#39;m gonna go see the opening of Parade on on the Broadway, um, which I was great I so Robert, the husband that we were talking about, um, my first husband and current husband, he um, in addition to for now, we&#39;ll see. It&#39;s only been 17 years. You never know how these things are gonna go. But he um has a new tiki lounge underneath Marseille, it&#39;s called the Freaky Tiki. And his partner in the Freaky Tiki is one of the producers of um Parade, Greg Noble. And I happen to have a bunch of friends in Parade, so it&#39;s one of those lucky things where he&#39;s like, Do you guys want to go? And I&#39;m like, Hell yeah. However, I&#39;m told there will be Nazis, you know, registering their dismay at, I don&#39;t know, a story about a man, a Jewish man being lynched, I don&#39;t know. David: 12:24 I was about to say, can you explain that to me? Because Parade is anybody who&#39;s kind of inside our world knows that parade is like one of those shows that everyone looks at as like just a uh almost a perfect piece of art. But let&#39;s just talk about the story. The story is about a Jewish man from a very, very long time ago being falsely accused of something and then lynched for it, right? Right. So why why are Nazis mad at that? SPEAKER_00: 12:44 They are upset from what I hear through the Nazi channels that I&#39;m you know connected to. That not really, from the actors in the show. They are upset that they think that Leo Frank, it is Leo Frank, right? Yeah, that&#39;s his thing. David: 12:58 Yeah, Leo Frank is the lead character who gets lynched. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Correct. They believe he actually was not railroaded, and they want everyone to know that um that it&#39;s okay that he was lynched because he in fact was doing the things he was accused of doing. David: 13:10 That this that this that this musical on Broadway got it wrong of the historical story that they&#39;ve never heard until their friends told them to meet them at the theater and bring a sign. SPEAKER_00: 13:23 It&#39;s just so bizarre. And I&#39;m trying to tell my kids like so guys, like if mommy goes to jail tonight, it&#39;s because it&#39;s because of the Nazis. Right. David: 13:31 I want to tell you that Gatearchs will match any donation for your bail. Yes. Uh if you if you punch a Nazi. Uh to$27. Up to$27 and a an outdated Schmacker&#39;s gift card. SPEAKER_00: 13:44 I have to say, I used to be quite good friends with the police in that neighborhood for various reasons. And Rob and Robert has a good relationship with them as well....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, Gavin introduces his daughter to a very new piece of cinema, David meets his 3 year old at his maturity level, and Sloan Just aka “the Madame of 9th Avenue” joins us to talk through her IVF journey, who has the best cookies in midtown, and how to follow through on threats to your kids. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh, that was the that was the transition. That was it. Yeah, okay. David: 0:03 And that that that that was that was the cue for you. Gavin: 0:07 Hey, this this this high tech thing is uh is uh throwing me. I&#39;m with you now. David: 0:11 Anything beyond AOL and Nana gets confused. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:29 So this weekend, uh my daughter, it was probably about 9.30 or 10 already, and she&#39;s like, Well, it&#39;s not a Saturday night if we don&#39;t watch a movie. I&#39;m like, alright, jeez. I mean, my son had already gone to bed, so it&#39;s fine. I&#39;m like, okay, well, let&#39;s do this. And um, she&#39;s flipping through Netflix or wherever she was flipping, and she goes, Greece? What is Greece? Is it like about is it like about the country or like hair? And I&#39;m like, oh, that was actually pretty insightful. You know what? Let&#39;s watch Greece. You&#39;re old enough for Greece. Let&#39;s do Greece. Let&#39;s do it. So we watch Greece. And I&#39;m finding myself, you know, at the beginning having to stop and explain this. She was already bored, by the way. In the if you recall, there&#39;s a really long introduction to the movie with the um, you know, the the 70s Bee Gees music, which is suddenly not at all the 1950s, right? And then there&#39;s the love is a trans, and they&#39;re on, Sandy and Danny are out on the beach, and she&#39;s like, This is this gonna be a weird kissing movie, and I&#39;m like, oh, buckle up. Anyway, we watch the movie. I&#39;m watching it for the very first time with really adult eyes. I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve watched it since high school. I&#39;ve seen a bunch of stage productions, whatever. I get it. And my daughter&#39;s like, This, this is so weird. This is so bonkers, and there are so many elements, of course, that I&#39;m having to think like, I hope you didn&#39;t get that joke, I hope you didn&#39;t get didn&#39;t get that reference. Then we&#39;re like, you know, a real pussy driver in um load up a fight. Yes, exactly. Oh, and yeah, the whole thing is about like obviously men tapping ass, right? But mainly, so there&#39;s there&#39;s a lot of complications. I don&#39;t know. The movie does not need to be censored or cancelled for sure, but it is a really, really dated piece, without a doubt. But then you get to the end, and I was rolling on the floor with my daughter, where she was like, when they&#39;re singing, We Go Together, suddenly there&#39;s all these dancers who are coming out of nowhere, and they are wearing the strangest costumes. There&#39;s this one guy who&#39;s wearing shorts, but he&#39;s wearing white socks pulled up to his knees, and he&#39;s he probably looks 45 years old or so, and he&#39;s dancing with all these high school kids, which of course is sort of the conceit behind Grease, but at the same time, the movie, I don&#39;t know, you just go along with it. But this guy is clearly 15 years older than everybody else. There&#39;s a guy wearing green shorts. There&#39;s just suddenly, oh, I I said that. There&#39;s a guy anyway, there&#39;s just all of these bizarre dancers who have come out of nowhere and they&#39;re doing these weird penguin dancing, dancing. And then Sandy and Danny, as you may recall, drive off into the sunset in their car, suddenly flying. And my daughter&#39;s looking at me like she was laughing uproariously because the whole show is so stupid. ]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, Gavin introduces his daughter to a very new piece of cinema, David meets his 3 year old at his maturity level, and Sloan Just aka “the Madame of 9th Avenue” joins us to talk through her IVF journey, who has the best cookies in midtown, and how to follow through on threats to your kids. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 Oh, that was the that was the transition. That was it. Yeah, okay. David: 0:03 And that that that that was that was the cue for you. Gavin: 0:07 Hey, this this this high tech thing is uh is uh throwing me. I&#39;m with you now. David: 0:11 Anything beyond AOL and Nana gets confused. And this is Gatriarchs. Gavin: 0:29 So this weekend, uh my daughter, it was probably about 9.30 or 10 already, and she&#39;s lik]]></googleplay:description>
	<googleplay:explicit>No</googleplay:explicit>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Justin Gomlak Greer</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-justin-gomlak-greer/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 05 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12441713</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week we shock everyone and David has his first earnest moment in 20 years, we talk safety words and feeding your kids (required in most states), and our extra special guest judge this week is 9-time Broadway disappointment Justin Gomlak Greer. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I had a friend who used to live in Saudi Arabia, and he was having a business meeting with another guy who was a you know a married colleague, and they were sitting in a hotel having a meeting, and he suddenly says to my friend, Hey, see that guy over there? And my friend says, Yeah. He says, he&#39;s gay. And my friend says, How do you know that? He goes, Because I fucked him last night. Gavin, it&#39;s nine in the morning. And this is Gay Triarchs. David: 0:38 Listen, we are officially live. Um, we have been recording a little bit ahead of time. So this is our first episode after we became live. And I&#39;ve been editing all these podcasts, and I realized something is that I&#39;m afraid people are gonna think I hate parenting or I hate my kids. Right. Now, to be fair, sometimes, yeah, I fucking hate it. But I I I I chose this. You and I chose you and I paid lots of money to do this. I love parenting, I love my kids. So I was just I was having this weird self-conscious moment of like, does everybody out there who&#39;s listening to this podcast just think we hate parenting and we&#39;re psychopaths? Gavin: 1:15 Right. Do we need to make a disclaimer every single episode to say, hey, disclaimer at the top of the show, I would lay down on rails for my fucking children? David: 1:22 Yeah, I mean, maybe I I think listen, that this podcast is about complaining, so let&#39;s let&#39;s let that because complaining is funnier. It&#39;s funnier. But uh the reason I I bring it up is because I came across this piece on TikTok, and then I found the article that was referencing. And if you&#39;re at all in on the parenting side of TikTok, you almost definitely saw this a couple weeks ago. Um, this was a piece by Mia Friedman, and there was a uh radio host that was kind of reading it on air, and that that&#39;s the video that I saw, and then I went into this piece. But the idea the piece is called Um Your Son Growing Up Will Feel Like the Slowest Breakup You&#39;ve Ever Known. And it&#39;s this beautiful article talking about this mom and how you know raising a son feels like this very slow breakup. And when I saw this this video and then I read this piece, I was just like ugly crying to where like, you know, people are like, Are you okay, sir? Um, but I wanted to read this one piece because it really touched me in a way, and it and it spoke to me in an in in a way that is is is so devastatingly accurate. So in the middle of this piece she&#39;s talking about, you know, as they get older. Um, and it says, There are so many batshit crazy things about being a parent, and one that definitely wasn&#39;t in the brochure is the way you don&#39;t actually parent one person. You parent many, many different people who all who are all your child. There&#39;s the newborn, the baby, the toddler, the preschooler, the primary age kid, the pre-teen, the adolescent, the full-blown teen, the young adult, and then the adult. They all answer to the same name. They all call you mum, and you never ever notice the inflection point where one of those turn one of those people turns into the next. You never get to properly say goodbye to all the little people who grow up because you I&#39;m getting choked up already. Are you okay, sir? I&#39;m sorry, sir. Are you okay? I just want the number five at Taco Bell. I don&#39;t want to be ordering this. Um you never uh properly say goodbye to little people who grow up because you don&#39;t notice the growing and the changing, except Facebook sends you those reminders. Um anyway, it&#39;s a beautiful piece. It touched me in that way where parenting the kind of like marking of time on in parenting is so weird. And when she talks about like all of a sudden there&#39;s this new kid in your house, and there&#39;s the the kid that used to live there who still answers to the same name, but is a totally different person. Like this morning I was looking at my daughter who&#39;s one now, and I was just thinking, I practically don&#39;t remember you as a baby, as like holding you in my arms, wrapped up in blankets, swaddling, and that was months ago. Yeah. And so this piece really touched me. Um obviously it it still it still touches me, even reading it out loud. And um, so to to those of you who think that um I have no heart, I don&#39;t, but sometimes I have a little bit of feelings, and and this was just such a such a beautiful piece. Um, if we ever get show notes, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll link to it. Um it&#39;s easy to find. It was on TikTok. It&#39;s beautiful. Anyway, so I have feelings. Yeah and Gavin, I know you always have feelings. Gavin: 4:27 That was a really um that was a masterclass in acting that you just did right there by forcing those tears. Uh I was on Broadway one time. Making people think uh that you do have a heart, uh, which, as we know, you&#39;re definitely not the tin man. David: 4:40 More like a scarecrow. Yeah. Or and a bear. I want the body of the scarecrow. I want like just like the snatched, like tiny cinched for days. Give me that like burlap tie. Gavin: 4:56 Whereas the tin man is just a barrel. Let&#39;s be honest, he&#39;s just a barrel. There&#39;s there&#39;s no shape there. This does remind me of years and years ago. I uh when my kids were really little, I remember getting into the mommy blog sphere. Um, I suppose the daddy blog sphere as well. And I read this piece about uh uh a mom saying she couldn&#39;t remember the last time she washed her daughter&#39;s hair. And that was long before my daughter ever had long hair, or frankly, any hair. I think she was honestly just a baby when I read it. But I remember thinking, wow, at some point this is gonna really touch me. I mean it was touching, but I thought this is gonna pass me by and I&#39;m not and I&#39;m also not gonna remember the last time I washed my daughter&#39;s hair, and now, you know, she showers entirely on her own and she&#39;s totally independent and I miss it. There are times um my son um still waves to me from the bus as he&#39;s driving away until it turns the corner, and I just live for it, and I know it won&#39;t happen forever, but yeah, that passage of time is really interesting. The days are long, the years are short, and one season fades into another. Q Broadway music right here, no doubt about all of it. But it&#39;s true, it&#39;s true, it&#39;s true. It&#39;s all the more reason why, like, how do we savor every single day? Aside from just like I don&#39;t know, slowing down intentionally and meditating all goddamn day, but I don&#39;t have time to meditate all day. David: 6:15 No, I mean we the I have my something great is in this sphere, so we&#39;ll come back to this. But but there is a a weird thing where you don&#39;t get to know when the last time, you know, there&#39;s that phrase of like you pick up you you hold you pick up your kid for the last time at some point in your life. Yeah, you don&#39;t know when that&#39;s gonna be. Um, and it&#39;s so unfair that you don&#39;t get to have, like Mio was saying, that proper goodbye to say goodbye to the toddler and welcome the preschooler. Um, it just happens. You you only can look backwards at those moments. But I have a uh a really interesting something great that I think will kind of maybe help solve this problem. Gavin: 6:46 Oh, nice. So um frequently I think about uh the ways that I basically try to have mind control games over my kids, you know, and manipulate them into doing the shit that I want them to do. And when they are spiraling out of control or really just like being selfish little shits with a total lack of gratitude, I frequently, in calm times, will say, I think we should have a safety word that signals to all of us that we&#39;re starting to get irrational and it will bring it back down. And by now, I have suggested safety words about four or five times over the last, I don&#39;t know, four or five months. And my daughter is absolutely rolling her eyes at me saying, Dad, you never use them. And she&#39;s totally right. I suggest the safety words, and usually we do the first safety word What do you mean by safety words? Well, okay. When she when I can feel that we are starting to escalate irrationally, and we just need to take a step away, take a breath. I want to say, here&#39;s a safety word, like eggplant or scissors or whatever, something nonsensical that signals to us all, including myself, maybe first and foremost, myself, Gabe. Take a step back, calm down. So it&#39;s been an idea that we&#39;ve had in the family, but it&#39;s totally ineffective. I&#39;m sure I read it somewhere. I don&#39;t know, in a sex manual, I suppose. Just kidding. David: 7:58 No, but that&#39;s what I mean. That&#39;s the first thing I thought of. It&#39;s like, why do you have safety words here? Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 8:02 Safety words to be like, we gotta stop what&#39;s going on right now. It is not going to be constructive. And our safety words are always something to make us giggle, right? Like nipple was our first safety word. And now my daughter is obsessed with the word shart and just goes around saying shark all the time. And so our current safety word now is sharty fart. And I used it last night as she was spiraling out of control because today was Hawaiian shirt day and she didn&#39;t have a Hawaiian shirt. And I said, I&#39;m not gonna hop in the car at nine o&#39;clock and go buy you something. All the stores are closed anyway. And no, you should have thought about this before. And she started to go and go and go going. And I said, sharty fart. And she was just pissed. And maybe, if nothing else, that will succeed in her not saying shard around me anymore because I&#39;m annoyed by it. Wow. David: 8:49 I mean, I that&#39;s that&#39;s literally no response. I I I that&#39;s this is this you are you are ahead of me by what five years? No, more than that. Yeah, I just feel like uh these are things I need to start writing down. I&#39;m gonna start finding these get these episodes of Gatearks so I know what to do when my kid starts escalating. Gavin: 9:09 This isn&#39;t good advice. It&#39;s not working for us. David: 9:11 Well, that&#39;s gay charcs, right? This isn&#39;t good advice. Gavin: 9:14 Don&#39;t listen to us. My God. Also, last night, we um were I made an excellent meal last night, and I admit it was a chickpea squash stew. It was delicious. Don&#39;t it was straight out of oh, stop it. It was straight out of the New York Times or barefoot contesta or something like that. It was delicious. Let me guess there&#39;s rosemary in that bullet. Jesus. No, but there was supposed to be lemongrass, and it just spoke lemongrass. Fuck off, fuck off lemongrass and barefoot contesta in your good olive oil. But um, I raised my kids, I used to be able to humble brag about my kids eating absolutely everything years ago, five, six years ago. They ate everything. There was no question about it. I&#39;ve already shared my trick back in the day was to get them to eat the toasted hazelnuts. Yes, go ahead, insert joke here over the kale salad, and suddenly they&#39;re salad eaters. But man, my daughter has just gone downhill and eating. She will not eat anything with a bean in it, which I know you have a special affinity for beans. She just refuses to eat anything with beans. And I&#39;m like, I am choosing, I&#39;m giving myself my safety word, shardy fart. And just don&#39;t get upset. The fact that she is not malnutritious, uh she&#39;s not what? Malnourished. Whoops, malnutritious. Anyway. You&#39;re very smart. She&#39;s not malnourished, it&#39;s gonna be fine. Don&#39;t like force feed the the chickpea squash stew, which was delicious, by the way. It would have been better if it had lemongrass on it. And now if she would have eaten it with the lemongrass, and now I&#39;m just like, oh Jesus, choose your fucking battles. It never gets easier. Yeah, I was for sure the arrogant. David: 10:50 Um I still am. I&#39;m just arrogant in general, but uh arrogant when because you know, when my first my son was a baby, he would eat anything. I and so and and in turn, we just put carrots and broccoli and and really healthy things in front of them. And obviously that&#39;s slowly gone downhill. They&#39;re both pretty good about trying new things, but like if there&#39;s anything green in it, like he picks it out. Like, I&#39;m I feel the chicken nugget coming. I feel it coming. Yes, even though like we are we&#39;re fighting against it. I I grew up in a household where like nutrition wasn&#39;t ever talked about or cared about, and I wanted to make that change for my kids, but I can smell the mac and cheese for like chicken fingers kid coming, and also I&#39;m lazy, so he&#39;s gonna get it. Gavin: 11:31 Uh uh, he was the second born. If he wanted to eat nutritiously, he should have chosen to be first. David: 11:35 All right, Gavin. Uh, let&#39;s move on to our top three. This is your week, so what is our top three this week? Gavin: 11:39 This week, we are talking about the three ways that you are parenting, just like your parents did. All the things that you said you weren&#39;t gonna do. I do it constantly. I hear myself, I hear my mom coming out in my own voice. In third place, is that I say no to everything. My mom said no to absolutely everything. I could never get a drink at a restaurant, it always had to be water. I could we could never went spontaneously shopping. I think these are all actually good rules that she, you know, reined in my need to buy shit all the time. And now I feel like I&#39;m a good parent by reigning in my kids&#39; need to buy shit all the time. So I say no to absolutely everything. Number two, if I don&#39;t say no, I say maybe, and my kids say, Well, that means no, obviously. And I can hear myself, my mom saying, maybe, knowing full well it&#39;s not it&#39;s gonna turn into a no. And then finally, I have actually caught myself in the middle of it, myself, with my number one attribute of my mom coming out saying, all the things I do for you, and this is the thanks I get. David: 12:42 Oh man, that&#39;s classic. Uh is it? Is it universal? I feel like I&#39;ve heard that on every every movie, every yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 12:50 Yeah, well, that&#39;s that&#39;s my number one. And hey, it all comes back to gratitude. Go ahead, cue the sappy music right now. I just want some thanks. I just want to hear thanks, and then I&#39;ll say yes to everything. Your love language is words of affirmation. Oh, thanks for that. You just saved me thousands and thousands of dollars in years of therapy, didn&#39;t you? David: 13:09 When I when I teach like directing uh to students, I always bring up the five love languages. It&#39;s it that book, I love that book. We&#39;ll talk about that another day. Okay, so for me, I I took this in a little weird way as usual. So these are all like non-verbal ways that I am I have turned in to my family or my parents. All right, so number three is I this is such a dad move. I grunt when I get out of my chair like my grandma, like my grandma used to. She&#39;d had this like uh like it&#39;s just a small little little pillow of uh, and I I am a fully fit normal dude, but I grunt every time I get out of my chair. Alright. Number two, I when I&#39;m laughing, like belly laughing, and it devolves into a cough, that&#39;s my dad. I can hear my dad laughing into a cough, and you could record it, and it would be the ide it would be the exact same thing....]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week we shock everyone and David has his first earnest moment in 20 years, we talk safety words and feeding your kids (required in most states), and our extra special guest judge this week is 9-time Broadway disappointment Justin Gomlak Greer. Thank]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week we shock everyone and David has his first earnest moment in 20 years, we talk safety words and feeding your kids (required in most states), and our extra special guest judge this week is 9-time Broadway disappointment Justin Gomlak Greer. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I had a friend who used to live in Saudi Arabia, and he was having a business meeting with another guy who was a you know a married colleague, and they were sitting in a hotel having a meeting, and he suddenly says to my friend, Hey, see that guy over there? And my friend says, Yeah. He says, he&#39;s gay. And my friend says, How do you know that? He goes, Because I fucked him last night. Gavin, it&#39;s nine in the morning. And this is Gay Triarchs. David: 0:38 Listen, we are officially live. Um, we have been recording a little bit ahead of time. So this is our first episode after we became live. And I&#39;ve been editing all these podcasts, and I realized something is that I&#39;m afraid people are gonna think I hate parenting or I hate my kids. Right. Now, to be fair, sometimes, yeah, I fucking hate it. But I I I I chose this. You and I chose you and I paid lots of money to do this. I love parenting, I love my kids. So I was just I was having this weird self-conscious moment of like, does everybody out there who&#39;s listening to this podcast just think we hate parenting and we&#39;re psychopaths? Gavin: 1:15 Right. Do we need to make a disclaimer every single episode to say, hey, disclaimer at the top of the show, I would lay down on rails for my fucking children? David: 1:22 Yeah, I mean, maybe I I think listen, that this podcast is about complaining, so let&#39;s let&#39;s let that because complaining is funnier. It&#39;s funnier. But uh the reason I I bring it up is because I came across this piece on TikTok, and then I found the article that was referencing. And if you&#39;re at all in on the parenting side of TikTok, you almost definitely saw this a couple weeks ago. Um, this was a piece by Mia Friedman, and there was a uh radio host that was kind of reading it on air, and that that&#39;s the video that I saw, and then I went into this piece. But the idea the piece is called Um Your Son Growing Up Will Feel Like the Slowest Breakup You&#39;ve Ever Known. And it&#39;s this beautiful article talking about this mom and how you know raising a son feels like this very slow breakup. And when I saw this this video and then I read this piece, I was just like ugly crying to where like, you know, people are like, Are you okay, sir? Um, but I wanted to read this one piece because it really touched me in a way, and it and it spoke to me in an in in a way that is is is so devastatingly accurate. So in the middle of this piece she&#39;s talking about, you know, as they get older. Um, and it says, There are so many batshit crazy things about being a parent, and one that definitely wasn&#39;t in the brochure is the way you don&#39;t actually parent one person. You parent many, many different people who all who are all your child. There&#39;s the newborn, the baby, the toddler, the preschooler, the primary age kid, the pre-teen, the adolescent, the full-blown teen, the young adult, and then the adult. They all answer to the same name. They all call you mum, and you never ever notice the inflection point where one of those turn one of those people turns into the next. You never get to properly say goodbye to all the little people who grow up because you I&#39;m getting choked up already. Are you okay, sir? I&#39;m sorry, sir. Are you okay? I just want the number five at Taco Bell. I don&#39;t want to be ordering this. Um you never uh properly say goodbye to little people who grow up because you don&#39;t notice the growing and the changing, except Facebook sends you those reminders. Um anyway, it&#39;s a beautiful piece. It touched me in that way where parenting the kind of like marking of time on in parenting is so weird. And when she talks about like all of a sudden there&#39;s this new kid in your house, and there&#39;s the the kid that used to live there who still answers to the same name, but is a totally different person. Like this morning I was looking at my daughter who&#39;s one now, and I was just thinking, I practically don&#39;t remember you as a baby, as like holding you in my arms, wrapped up in blankets, swaddling, and that was months ago. Yeah. And so this piece really touched me. Um obviously it it still it still touches me, even reading it out loud. And um, so to to those of you who think that um I have no heart, I don&#39;t, but sometimes I have a little bit of feelings, and and this was just such a such a beautiful piece. Um, if we ever get show notes, we&#39;ll we&#39;ll link to it. Um it&#39;s easy to find. It was on TikTok. It&#39;s beautiful. Anyway, so I have feelings. Yeah and Gavin, I know you always have feelings. Gavin: 4:27 That was a really um that was a masterclass in acting that you just did right there by forcing those tears. Uh I was on Broadway one time. Making people think uh that you do have a heart, uh, which, as we know, you&#39;re definitely not the tin man. David: 4:40 More like a scarecrow. Yeah. Or and a bear. I want the body of the scarecrow. I want like just like the snatched, like tiny cinched for days. Give me that like burlap tie. Gavin: 4:56 Whereas the tin man is just a barrel. Let&#39;s be honest, he&#39;s just a barrel. There&#39;s there&#39;s no shape there. This does remind me of years and years ago. I uh when my kids were really little, I remember getting into the mommy blog sphere. Um, I suppose the daddy blog sphere as well. And I read this piece about uh uh a mom saying she couldn&#39;t remember the last time she washed her daughter&#39;s hair. And that was long before my daughter ever had long hair, or frankly, any hair. I think she was honestly just a baby when I read it. But I remember thinking, wow, at some point this is gonna really touch me. I mean it was touching, but I thought this is gonna pass me by and I&#39;m not and I&#39;m also not gonna remember the last time I washed my daughter&#39;s hair, and now, you know, she showers entirely on her own and she&#39;s totally independent and I miss it. There are times um my son um still waves to me from the bus as he&#39;s driving away until it turns the corner, and I just live for it, and I know it won&#39;t happen forever, but yeah, that passage of time is really interesting. The days are long, the years are short, and one season fades into another. Q Broadway music right here, no doubt about all of it. But it&#39;s true, it&#39;s true, it&#39;s true. It&#39;s all the more reason why, like, how do we savor every single day? Aside from just like I don&#39;t know, slowing down intentionally and meditating all goddamn day, but I don&#39;t have time to meditate all day. David: 6:15 No, I mean we the I have my something great is in this sphere, so we&#39;ll come back to this. But but there is a a weird thing where you don&#39;t get to know when the last time, you know, there&#39;s that phrase of like you pick up you you hold you pick up your kid for the last time at some point in your life. Yeah, you don&#39;t know when that&#39;s gonna be. Um, and it&#39;s so unfair that you don&#39;t get to have, like Mio was saying, that proper goodbye to say goodbye to the toddler and welcome the preschooler. Um, it just happens. You you only can look backwards at those moments. But I have a uh a really interesting something great that I think will kind of maybe help solve this problem. Gavin: 6:46 Oh, nice. So um frequently I think about uh the ways that I basically try to have mind control games over my kids, you know, and manipulate them into doing the shit that I want them to do. And when they are spiraling out of control or really just like being selfish little shits with a total lack of gratitude, I frequently, in calm times, will say, I think we should have a safety word that signals to all of us that we&#39;re starting to get irrational and it will bring it back down. And by now, I have suggested safety words about four or five times over the last, I don&#39;t know, four or five months. And my daughter is absolutely rolling her eyes at me saying, Dad, you never use them. And she&#39;s totally right. I suggest the safety words, and usually we do the first safety word What do you mean by safety words? Well, okay. When she when I can feel that we are starting to escalate irrationally, and we just need to take a step away, take a breath. I want to say, here&#39;s a safety word, like eggplant or scissors or whatever, something nonsensical that signals to us all, including myself, maybe first and foremost, myself, Gabe. Take a step back, calm down. So it&#39;s been an idea that we&#39;ve had in the family, but it&#39;s totally ineffective. I&#39;m sure I read it somewhere. I don&#39;t know, in a sex manual, I suppose. Just kidding. David: 7:58 No, but that&#39;s what I mean. That&#39;s the first thing I thought of. It&#39;s like, why do you have safety words here? Yeah, yeah. Gavin: 8:02 Safety words to be like, we gotta stop what&#39;s going on right now. It is not going to be constructive. And our safety words are always something to make us giggle, right? Like nipple was our first safety word. And now my daughter is obsessed with the word shart and just goes around saying shark all the time. And so our current safety word now is sharty fart. And I used it last night as she was spiraling out of control because today was Hawaiian shirt day and she didn&#39;t have a Hawaiian shirt. And I said, I&#39;m not gonna hop in the car at nine o&#39;clock and go buy you something. All the stores are closed anyway. And no, you should have thought about this before. And she started to go and go and go going. And I said, sharty fart. And she was just pissed. And maybe, if nothing else, that will succeed in her not saying shard around me anymore because I&#39;m annoyed by it. Wow. David: 8:49 I mean, I that&#39;s that&#39;s literally no response. I I I that&#39;s this is this you are you are ahead of me by what five years? No, more than that. Yeah, I just feel like uh these are things I need to start writing down. I&#39;m gonna start finding these get these episodes of Gatearks so I know what to do when my kid starts escalating. Gavin: 9:09 This isn&#39;t good advice. It&#39;s not working for us. David: 9:11 Well, that&#39;s gay charcs, right? This isn&#39;t good advice. Gavin: 9:14 Don&#39;t listen to us. My God. Also, last night, we um were I made an excellent meal last night, and I admit it was a chickpea squash stew. It was delicious. Don&#39;t it was straight out of oh, stop it. It was straight out of the New York Times or barefoot contesta or something like that. It was delicious. Let me guess there&#39;s rosemary in that bullet. Jesus. No, but there was supposed to be lemongrass, and it just spoke lemongrass. Fuck off, fuck off lemongrass and barefoot contesta in your good olive oil. But um, I raised my kids, I used to be able to humble brag about my kids eating absolutely everything years ago, five, six years ago. They ate everything. There was no question about it. I&#39;ve already shared my trick back in the day was to get them to eat the toasted hazelnuts. Yes, go ahead, insert joke here over the kale salad, and suddenly they&#39;re salad eaters. But man, my daughter has just gone downhill and eating. She will not eat anything with a bean in it, which I know you have a special affinity for beans. She just refuses to eat anything with beans. And I&#39;m like, I am choosing, I&#39;m giving myself my safety word, shardy fart. And just don&#39;t get upset. The fact that she is not malnutritious, uh she&#39;s not what? Malnourished. Whoops, malnutritious. Anyway. You&#39;re very smart. She&#39;s not malnourished, it&#39;s gonna be fine. Don&#39;t like force feed the the chickpea squash stew, which was delicious, by the way. It would have been better if it had lemongrass on it. And now if she would have eaten it with the lemongrass, and now I&#39;m just like, oh Jesus, choose your fucking battles. It never gets easier. Yeah, I was for sure the arrogant. David: 10:50 Um I still am. I&#39;m just arrogant in general, but uh arrogant when because you know, when my first my son was a baby, he would eat anything. I and so and and in turn, we just put carrots and broccoli and and really healthy things in front of them. And obviously that&#39;s slowly gone downhill. They&#39;re both pretty good about trying new things, but like if there&#39;s anything green in it, like he picks it out. Like, I&#39;m I feel the chicken nugget coming. I feel it coming. Yes, even though like we are we&#39;re fighting against it. I I grew up in a household where like nutrition wasn&#39;t ever talked about or cared about, and I wanted to make that change for my kids, but I can smell the mac and cheese for like chicken fingers kid coming, and also I&#39;m lazy, so he&#39;s gonna get it. Gavin: 11:31 Uh uh, he was the second born. If he wanted to eat nutritiously, he should have chosen to be first. David: 11:35 All right, Gavin. Uh, let&#39;s move on to our top three. This is your week, so what is our top three this week? Gavin: 11:39 This week, we are talking about the three ways that you are parenting, just like your parents did. All the things that you said you weren&#39;t gonna do. I do it constantly. I hear myself, I hear my mom coming out in my own voice. In third place, is that I say no to everything. My mom said no to absolutely everything. I could never get a drink at a restaurant, it always had to be water. I could we could never went spontaneously shopping. I think these are all actually good rules that she, you know, reined in my need to buy shit all the time. And now I feel like I&#39;m a good parent by reigning in my kids&#39; need to buy shit all the time. So I say no to absolutely everything. Number two, if I don&#39;t say no, I say maybe, and my kids say, Well, that means no, obviously. And I can hear myself, my mom saying, maybe, knowing full well it&#39;s not it&#39;s gonna turn into a no. And then finally, I have actually caught myself in the middle of it, myself, with my number one attribute of my mom coming out saying, all the things I do for you, and this is the thanks I get. David: 12:42 Oh man, that&#39;s classic. Uh is it? Is it universal? I feel like I&#39;ve heard that on every every movie, every yeah, that&#39;s that&#39;s a good one. Gavin: 12:50 Yeah, well, that&#39;s that&#39;s my number one. And hey, it all comes back to gratitude. Go ahead, cue the sappy music right now. I just want some thanks. I just want to hear thanks, and then I&#39;ll say yes to everything. Your love language is words of affirmation. Oh, thanks for that. You just saved me thousands and thousands of dollars in years of therapy, didn&#39;t you? David: 13:09 When I when I teach like directing uh to students, I always bring up the five love languages. It&#39;s it that book, I love that book. We&#39;ll talk about that another day. Okay, so for me, I I took this in a little weird way as usual. So these are all like non-verbal ways that I am I have turned in to my family or my parents. All right, so number three is I this is such a dad move. I grunt when I get out of my chair like my grandma, like my grandma used to. She&#39;d had this like uh like it&#39;s just a small little little pillow of uh, and I I am a fully fit normal dude, but I grunt every time I get out of my chair. Alright. Number two, I when I&#39;m laughing, like belly laughing, and it devolves into a cough, that&#39;s my dad. I can hear my dad laughing into a cough, and you could record it, and it would be the ide it would be the exact same thing....]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week we shock everyone and David has his first earnest moment in 20 years, we talk safety words and feeding your kids (required in most states), and our extra special guest judge this week is 9-time Broadway disappointment Justin Gomlak Greer. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I had a friend who used to live in Saudi Arabia, and he was having a business meeting with another guy who was a you know a married colleague, and they were sitting in a hotel having a meeting, and he suddenly says to my friend, Hey, see that guy over there? And my friend says, Yeah. He says, he&#39;s gay. And my friend says, How do you know that? He goes, Because I fucked him last night. Gavin, it&#39;s nine in the morning. And this is Gay Triarchs. David: 0:38 Listen, we are officially live. Um, we have been recording a little bit ahead of time. So this is our first episode after we became live. And I&#39;ve been editing all these podcasts, and I realized something is that I&#39;m afraid people are gonna think I hate parenting or I hate my kids. Right. Now, to be fair, sometimes, yeah, I fucking hate it. But I I I I chose this. You and I chose you and I paid lots of money to do this. I love parenting, I love my kids. So I was just I was having this weird self-conscious moment of like, does everybody out there who&#39;s listening to this podcast just think we hate parenting and we&#39;re psychopaths? Gavin: 1:15 Right. Do we need to make a disclaimer every single episode to say, hey, disclaimer at the top of the show, I would lay down on rails for my fucking children? David: 1:22 Yeah, I mean, maybe I I think listen, that this podcast is about complaining, so let&#39;s let&#39;s let that because complaining is funnier. It&#39;s funnier. But uh the reason I I bring it up is because I came across this piece on TikTok, and then I found the article that was referencing. And if you&#39;re at all in on the parenting side of TikTok, you almost definitely saw this a couple weeks ago. Um, this was a piece by Mia Friedman, and there was a uh radio host that was kind of reading it on air, and that that&#39;s the video that I saw, and then I went into this piece. But the idea the piece is called Um Your Son Growing Up Will Feel Like the Slowest Breakup You&#39;ve Ever Known. And it&#39;s this beautiful article talking about this mom and how you know raising a son feels like this very slow breakup. And when I saw this this video and then I read this piece, I was just like ugly crying to where like, you know, people are like, Are you okay, sir? Um, but I wanted to read this one piece because it really touched me in a way, and it and it spoke to me in an in in a way that is is is so devastatingly accurate. So in the middle of this piece she&#39;s talking about, you know, as they get older. Um, and it says, There are so many batshit crazy things about being a parent, and one that definitely wasn&#39;t in the brochure is the way you don&#39;t actually parent one person. You parent many, many different people who all who are all your child. There&#39;s the newborn, the baby, the toddler, the preschooler, the primary age kid, the pre-teen, the adolescent, the full-blown teen, the young adult, and then the adult. They all answer to the same name. They all call you mum, and you never ever notice the inflection point where one of those turn one of those people turns into the next. You never get to properly say goodbye to all the little people who grow up because you I&#39;m getting choked up already. Are you okay, sir? I&#39;m sorry, sir. Are you okay? I just want the number five at Taco Bell. I don&#39;t want to be ordering this. Um you never uh properly say goodbye to little people who grow up because you don&#39;t n]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week we shock everyone and David has his first earnest moment in 20 years, we talk safety words and feeding your kids (required in most states), and our extra special guest judge this week is 9-time Broadway disappointment Justin Gomlak Greer. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript Gavin: 0:00 I had a friend who used to live in Saudi Arabia, and he was having a business meeting with another guy who was a you know a married colleague, and they were sitting in a hotel having a meeting, and he suddenly says to my friend, Hey, see that guy over there? And my friend says, Yeah. He says, he&#39;s gay. And my friend says, How do you know that? He goes, Because I fucked him last night. Gavin, it&#39;s nine in the morning. And this is Gay Triarchs. David:]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Lorien Mckenna</title>
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	<pubDate>Wed, 29 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[On this week’s podcast, it’s national pancake day, because of course it is, Gavin tells us how he shows his love, and our real guest couldn’t make it this week, so we grabbed whoever was available, which is Emmy-nominated writer/showrunner Lorien Mckenna. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 All right, let me get to let us get into this. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 So wait, I have a pop star story for you that you&#39;re gonna have to include on the store on the show. Okay. David: 0:07 Should I even bother introing you? I mean, my god, you&#39;re just you&#39;re just you&#39;ve probably. SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Hi, my name, my name is Lorian McKenna, and I love to hear the sound of my voice, and so will you. Here we go. Well, so welcome to Gatriarch. David: 0:31 So, you know how last week I was talking about every fucking day is another day of celebration at the daycare? Endless. Do you know what yesterday was? Oh god, what? National Pancake Day, Gavin. Did you not know this? Oh god. So inevitably, there&#39;s just pancakes and syrup and whipped cream and cookies and all the fucking bullshit. That on top of the fact that this weekend we had um a four-year-old&#39;s birthday to go to at one of the play places that we talked about before. And two things of note happened that I thought were really hilarious. One is the cake was a blue velvet cake. Have you ever heard of blue velvet? Gavin: 1:10 I need to do I need to disentangle something real quick. Whose idea was it to bring Pancake Day into a preschool? Was it the teacher or some oppressive parent with nothing better on their time than to screw up everybody else&#39;s day by filling their children full of high fructose corn syrup? David: 1:26 No, it was a it&#39;s a school thing. Like it was on the calendar. Like national. There&#39;s also National Donut Day and National, you know, there&#39;s yeah, anyway. So we went to this birthday on at this place and they had this blue velvet, which is basically red velvet, which is basically chocolate cake with food coloring in it. Totally. What was hilarious is that we all had this like electric blue cake, and the next day I hear laughing and screaming from the other room, and I go in there and Emmett had taken a green shit, and he was so excited, and he was like, I pooped like the Hulk, I pooped like the Hulk. He was so excited. But anyway, that&#39;s that&#39;s awesome. Something I learned, and maybe you know this and I don&#39;t, and it&#39;s so smart, and I wish I had thought about it. I I&#39;m getting these. I probably know it already. I probably know it already. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you&#39;re very smart. Um, I&#39;m getting a lot of these invitations for these three and four-year-old birthday parties, as we do, and a lot of them are like, come to Gavin and David&#39;s party, and it&#39;s two unrelated kids having a co-birthday. And my thoughts had always been well, I guess these two kids&#39; moms are super close, right? Right. Well, then I went to this birthday this weekend and I was like, this place is pretty kind of cute. I wonder how much it costs. Well, it&#39;s two to three thousand dollars for a three-hour time time frame. And that&#39;s when I realized these parents are just dividing that bill in half. And I went, oh my god, fucking level unlocked for sure for the next birthday. We are co-birthday because it&#39;s the same kids. These kids don&#39;t have friends, they just have classmates that are their friends. So why not? You&#39;re gonna invite the same people, so why don&#39;t we just split the cost down in half? So I think that&#39;s genius, and that is for sure the double birthday is the way to go. Gavin: 3:06 I think that&#39;s an excellent dad hack, I might add, of talking about from uh later in the episode, but uh that is um I agree with that. That&#39;s leveling up, and why not? Because nobody it&#39;s gonna, it&#39;s all of the parties are just the same amount of cake, the same amount of sugar rush, the same amount of tears. It frankly doesn&#39;t matter where you&#39;re doing it, you&#39;re just impressing the other parents. And also, though, in a place like that, was there booze involved for the parents? David: 3:30 No, it was just a regular kid&#39;s place with like pizza and cake. Gavin: 3:34 Well, then the kids don&#39;t know any different. Just have it in somebody&#39;s kitchen and let the parents drink because really it&#39;s that&#39;s the social hour, isn&#39;t it? I mean, come on. David: 3:42 For sure. Gavin: 3:43 Well, so I was reading something recently in the news that there is a new dad caucus in Congress. I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware. David: 3:50 If I pronounced that word correctly, is it dad cock? Gavin: 3:55 It is definitely you know what? You can pronounce it however you can wrap your mouth around it. David: 4:00 I think you know how I&#39;m gonna pronounce it. Gavin: 4:02 It&#39;s the dad caucus in Congress. And this is because a bunch of new young dads, or rather new dads with young kids, have uh were just um uh became part of Congress since uh the race in 2022. So this Congressman, this newly elected Congressman, was filmed casting his vote for the new Speaker of the House with his baby in his baby bjorn standing next to um uh AOC. And, you know, he&#39;s very proudly like wiggling the feet of his kid, and he&#39;s like, look at me, I&#39;m a dad in Congress. And I just imagine, first of all, all of the other dads in Congress, who most of them are dads, are probably like, okay, fire down there, cowboy. Not to mention all of the women in the room who must be like, take several seats, motherfucker. Just because you bring your kid in here doesn&#39;t mean you get extra credit for being part of the new dad caucus, but there&#39;s so many elements. David: 4:55 Yes. To be fair, most of the people who are dads in Congress, their kids are in their 40s at this point. So, like, like, come on. Gavin: 5:02 Yeah. And this article, though, it did, there&#39;s so many things to unpack here because yes, I think it&#39;s great. Let&#39;s celebrate parents who are leaders who have taken on this double role. It&#39;s awesome. Also, um, I I mean, dads are hot, and so dads in power in Congress are hot, right? David: 5:19 Automatic two points if you&#39;re a dad. You get two more points, yeah. Gavin: 5:22 Absolutely. And then also, um, but uh and the the the journalist really went into the fact that he it&#39;s such an incredible double standard, but that he gets like shouted at in a positive way when he&#39;s like walking his kid down the street in a stroller, but his wife doesn&#39;t, which is, of course, as we know, inherent misogynistic bullshit. But then also my favorite part of the article was where they showed that the counterside, and let&#39;s face it, there&#39;s only one party that&#39;s in the dad caucus that makes up, you know, the six guys who are part of the new dad caucus, and it&#39;s no Republicans, and showed the counterpoint that, like Senator Josh Hawley, the douchebag of all douchebaggery from Missouri, is like writing books about manhood, how America will be lost without masculinity. And you just think, oh, these poor, insecure men who are part of their own dad caucus, a much smaller caucus, much smaller caucus, clearly. Much smaller caucus. And it&#39;s um, I I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s all sorts of elements. I&#39;m both for it and against it. One, we shouldn&#39;t be um celebrated for just doing our duty as parents, and then at the same time, it&#39;s cool that he showed off his baby in con in Congress. Why not? David: 6:34 Yeah, I mean, listen, uh being a hypocrite is kind of the foundation of Gatriarchs, which brings us to our next topic, which I love. And I want to talk about how judgmental you were about parents and parenting before you had kids, but then how or if that changed when you did have kids. So for me, I assumed that when I was a dad, I would immediately lose all of my parental judgment. I would be the, you know what, now I get it, it&#39;s hard, everyone has their own path or whatever. And what I found was 50% of me did that. 50% of me immediately I immediately have compassion, right? I I I I&#39;m like, you know what? I I I have compassion for these people, it&#39;s really hard. But then I found a new 50% of me, which I didn&#39;t expect, which was I got even more judgmental. More judgmental because now I had boots on the ground experience, and now I knew what was bullshit and what was just being an asshole and what was real. So, like the whole like tired parent thing, and you know, never, you know, taking care of yourself. I&#39;m like that part I became very compassionate about. I&#39;m like, you know, uh parents on their screens, giving their kids screens. I was like, you know what, I&#39;m compassionate about that, I understand that. But the I don&#39;t want to sleep train my kid part of it, I became more judgmental about. Yeah. Because now I had been in the fucking foxhole. I I&#39;m quite I&#39;m curious if that was your experience too, where like after you became a parent, you still maintained some of your fucking judgmental bullshit that you carried over when you weren&#39;t a parent. Gavin: 8:10 Excuse me, my judgmentalness is not bullshit, it&#39;s legit. I mean, come on. Um, I was absolutely judgmental going into it. Um, and that goes in the vein of like, these are the things that I&#39;m never gonna do when I&#39;m a parent, and um and whatnot. Of course, we can all relate to that, but I completely embrace that because I feel like I put a lot of work into doing the okayest job I possibly can as a dad. And those who aren&#39;t even like putting in that effort, I oh yeah, I I my my judgmentalness is probably more vicious now than ever before. David: 8:47 But that&#39;s the only way the human race continues, is that people who aren&#39;t parents think they can do it better. So we all are like, watch me, and then we do it, and we&#39;re like, oh fuck. There are some things that are just harder to do. But it&#39;s it&#39;s just funny how I assumed that once I become a parent, I would have this huge revelation about you can never be judgmental and everybody&#39;s leading their own path, which is true, but also not true. Gavin: 9:11 I I so much of it does come down to putting in the effort too, because we&#39;re all on this massive journey that is so much work and so much more work than we all could have expected. And there&#39;s a difference though between choosing your battles, which sometimes you just choose your battles and you think I&#39;m not gonna do this, and then also just can&#39;t be bothered. And because it&#39;s inconvenient for you, there&#39;s a fair amount, I mean, let&#39;s face it, um, as a parent in New York City, I saw an awful lot of people who just can&#39;t be bothered. So then they it they inherently, or by default, inconvenience all of the lives around them because they can&#39;t be bothered to do X, Y, and Z, which just it&#39;s the hard work you put in now. You put in the hard work now so everything&#39;s easier down the line. That&#39;s for parenting, and that&#39;s uh that&#39;s lessons for your kids as well. And we all are the best parents until we become one, and then we realize we&#39;re just trying to do the okayest job we possibly can. David: 10:01 We&#39;re the okayest parents. Gavin: 10:04 Okay. Oh, I like that. Just okay. David: 10:09 We&#39;ll have merch at some point, and maybe we can have a shirt that says okay. Gavin: 10:14 Man, just putting in that little extra effort will pay off in the long run, I think. Um, so this weekend I uh was very fortunate to do some skiing with my kid, and having grown up in Colorado, that is a sometimes a favorite pastime, and sometimes like, why am I doing this? But anyway, we met up with one of his friends who happened to be up there, and um he he my kid peeled off with his friend and his friend&#39;s mom, and I was like, okay, buddy, I&#39;ll see you later. And he goes, Okay, love you, dad. And he&#39;s he skied away, and I thought, oh, I am so lucky. I am so lucky that my he just reflexively, I don&#39;t think he actually is thinking, I love you, dad. But he does say it every single time he leaves me. And I know it won&#39;t last forever, but it&#39;s really sweet, and I don&#39;t hear other kids doing that. And in fact, one time we were at a soccer game where he ran away from me saying, Okay, love you, dad, bye. And two boys next to him looked at each other and giggled, and I thought, oh, I&#39;m so glad that he didn&#39;t see that. And um, I don&#39;t know that he would care. But my whole br topic in bringing this up is I&#39;m curious how other people say I love you. And I mean literally those words I love you, I don&#39;t mean buying flowers or hand jobs or blowjobs or anything. David: 11:22 That&#39;s how I say I love you. Uh-huh. Gavin: 11:24 Well, as you should. It&#39;s a form of it&#39;s a communication form of love. Yeah. David: 11:29 It&#39;s a mouth hug. Gavin: 11:31 Switching gears here. My mom and I were love you. Not I love you. We just said love you. And I heard a friend of mine years ago um say he, I overheard a bunch of conversations while we were doing a theater gig together. And he was on the phone with his grandparents, who lived actually nearby the gig that we were doing, and he said, Okay, bye. I love you, grandpa. And I remember asking him, saying, Wow, that&#39;s it strikes me that you say I love you. And he said, you know, I realized they weren&#39;t gonna be around for much longer, and I kind of wanted to just be more mature about expressing it. And that really stuck with me. But I think there&#39;s a big difference between saying love you and I love you. And I always try to say I love you to my kids. And it&#39;s um, I don&#39;t know, have you ever thought about that? David: 12:16 Uh you know, I have, and and I thought about it slightly differently. I say I love you to my kids, um, and it&#39;s usually a more intimate thing. Like, like I&#39;ll I&#39;ll be like whispering in the ear of like I love you before bed, that kind of a stuff. But I I thought about it in the way that my relationship with straight men, my and what I mean straight men, like like like best friends, like some of my best, best friends. And you obviously say you love, I feel like our generation and younger broke through the mold of like you&#39;re allowed to say I love you to your friends, it doesn&#39;t mean I want to have sex with you. But I fat I remember thinking when I would say I love you or love you or whatever to my straight male friends that I felt very differently and I and I got nervous if I would say I love you and it would feel more intense than if I just said love you, buddy, right? Love you. And you always you have to have an article at the end of that. Love you and your sucking dick immediately. And and that and and so and I think there&#39;s this weird pressure on straight men to like if like love you, dude, love you, bro, is an acceptable way. But if you say I love you, that&#39;s too intimate and you&#39;re definitely uh going to the gay bars. But totally, but I I find myself trying to fight my uh my weirdness around that to my straight friends because I want to get over because I think that&#39;s stupid. So, but I I I remember thinking like like even recently, some of my best male friends, when I say like I love you, it feels so intense, but I think I am naturally I&#39;m a very kind of loving like person, so it doesn&#39;t sound as crazy to me, but it does feel that I love you feels so much more intense to somebody that&#39;s not your romantic partner. But for my kids, it&#39;s very much like I love you. Um but the the whole like love you bro, love you, bud kind of thing is is hilarious. But it but you know it it means the same thing. I&#39;m just trying to break through some of those like...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[On this week’s podcast, it’s national pancake day, because of course it is, Gavin tells us how he shows his love, and our real guest couldn’t make it this week, so we grabbed whoever was available, which is Emmy-nominated writer/showrunner Lorien Mckenna]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[On this week’s podcast, it’s national pancake day, because of course it is, Gavin tells us how he shows his love, and our real guest couldn’t make it this week, so we grabbed whoever was available, which is Emmy-nominated writer/showrunner Lorien Mckenna. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 All right, let me get to let us get into this. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 So wait, I have a pop star story for you that you&#39;re gonna have to include on the store on the show. Okay. David: 0:07 Should I even bother introing you? I mean, my god, you&#39;re just you&#39;re just you&#39;ve probably. SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Hi, my name, my name is Lorian McKenna, and I love to hear the sound of my voice, and so will you. Here we go. Well, so welcome to Gatriarch. David: 0:31 So, you know how last week I was talking about every fucking day is another day of celebration at the daycare? Endless. Do you know what yesterday was? Oh god, what? National Pancake Day, Gavin. Did you not know this? Oh god. So inevitably, there&#39;s just pancakes and syrup and whipped cream and cookies and all the fucking bullshit. That on top of the fact that this weekend we had um a four-year-old&#39;s birthday to go to at one of the play places that we talked about before. And two things of note happened that I thought were really hilarious. One is the cake was a blue velvet cake. Have you ever heard of blue velvet? Gavin: 1:10 I need to do I need to disentangle something real quick. Whose idea was it to bring Pancake Day into a preschool? Was it the teacher or some oppressive parent with nothing better on their time than to screw up everybody else&#39;s day by filling their children full of high fructose corn syrup? David: 1:26 No, it was a it&#39;s a school thing. Like it was on the calendar. Like national. There&#39;s also National Donut Day and National, you know, there&#39;s yeah, anyway. So we went to this birthday on at this place and they had this blue velvet, which is basically red velvet, which is basically chocolate cake with food coloring in it. Totally. What was hilarious is that we all had this like electric blue cake, and the next day I hear laughing and screaming from the other room, and I go in there and Emmett had taken a green shit, and he was so excited, and he was like, I pooped like the Hulk, I pooped like the Hulk. He was so excited. But anyway, that&#39;s that&#39;s awesome. Something I learned, and maybe you know this and I don&#39;t, and it&#39;s so smart, and I wish I had thought about it. I I&#39;m getting these. I probably know it already. I probably know it already. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you&#39;re very smart. Um, I&#39;m getting a lot of these invitations for these three and four-year-old birthday parties, as we do, and a lot of them are like, come to Gavin and David&#39;s party, and it&#39;s two unrelated kids having a co-birthday. And my thoughts had always been well, I guess these two kids&#39; moms are super close, right? Right. Well, then I went to this birthday this weekend and I was like, this place is pretty kind of cute. I wonder how much it costs. Well, it&#39;s two to three thousand dollars for a three-hour time time frame. And that&#39;s when I realized these parents are just dividing that bill in half. And I went, oh my god, fucking level unlocked for sure for the next birthday. We are co-birthday because it&#39;s the same kids. These kids don&#39;t have friends, they just have classmates that are their friends. So why not? You&#39;re gonna invite the same people, so why don&#39;t we just split the cost down in half? So I think that&#39;s genius, and that is for sure the double birthday is the way to go. Gavin: 3:06 I think that&#39;s an excellent dad hack, I might add, of talking about from uh later in the episode, but uh that is um I agree with that. That&#39;s leveling up, and why not? Because nobody it&#39;s gonna, it&#39;s all of the parties are just the same amount of cake, the same amount of sugar rush, the same amount of tears. It frankly doesn&#39;t matter where you&#39;re doing it, you&#39;re just impressing the other parents. And also, though, in a place like that, was there booze involved for the parents? David: 3:30 No, it was just a regular kid&#39;s place with like pizza and cake. Gavin: 3:34 Well, then the kids don&#39;t know any different. Just have it in somebody&#39;s kitchen and let the parents drink because really it&#39;s that&#39;s the social hour, isn&#39;t it? I mean, come on. David: 3:42 For sure. Gavin: 3:43 Well, so I was reading something recently in the news that there is a new dad caucus in Congress. I don&#39;t know if you&#39;re aware. David: 3:50 If I pronounced that word correctly, is it dad cock? Gavin: 3:55 It is definitely you know what? You can pronounce it however you can wrap your mouth around it. David: 4:00 I think you know how I&#39;m gonna pronounce it. Gavin: 4:02 It&#39;s the dad caucus in Congress. And this is because a bunch of new young dads, or rather new dads with young kids, have uh were just um uh became part of Congress since uh the race in 2022. So this Congressman, this newly elected Congressman, was filmed casting his vote for the new Speaker of the House with his baby in his baby bjorn standing next to um uh AOC. And, you know, he&#39;s very proudly like wiggling the feet of his kid, and he&#39;s like, look at me, I&#39;m a dad in Congress. And I just imagine, first of all, all of the other dads in Congress, who most of them are dads, are probably like, okay, fire down there, cowboy. Not to mention all of the women in the room who must be like, take several seats, motherfucker. Just because you bring your kid in here doesn&#39;t mean you get extra credit for being part of the new dad caucus, but there&#39;s so many elements. David: 4:55 Yes. To be fair, most of the people who are dads in Congress, their kids are in their 40s at this point. So, like, like, come on. Gavin: 5:02 Yeah. And this article, though, it did, there&#39;s so many things to unpack here because yes, I think it&#39;s great. Let&#39;s celebrate parents who are leaders who have taken on this double role. It&#39;s awesome. Also, um, I I mean, dads are hot, and so dads in power in Congress are hot, right? David: 5:19 Automatic two points if you&#39;re a dad. You get two more points, yeah. Gavin: 5:22 Absolutely. And then also, um, but uh and the the the journalist really went into the fact that he it&#39;s such an incredible double standard, but that he gets like shouted at in a positive way when he&#39;s like walking his kid down the street in a stroller, but his wife doesn&#39;t, which is, of course, as we know, inherent misogynistic bullshit. But then also my favorite part of the article was where they showed that the counterside, and let&#39;s face it, there&#39;s only one party that&#39;s in the dad caucus that makes up, you know, the six guys who are part of the new dad caucus, and it&#39;s no Republicans, and showed the counterpoint that, like Senator Josh Hawley, the douchebag of all douchebaggery from Missouri, is like writing books about manhood, how America will be lost without masculinity. And you just think, oh, these poor, insecure men who are part of their own dad caucus, a much smaller caucus, much smaller caucus, clearly. Much smaller caucus. And it&#39;s um, I I don&#39;t know, it&#39;s it&#39;s it&#39;s all sorts of elements. I&#39;m both for it and against it. One, we shouldn&#39;t be um celebrated for just doing our duty as parents, and then at the same time, it&#39;s cool that he showed off his baby in con in Congress. Why not? David: 6:34 Yeah, I mean, listen, uh being a hypocrite is kind of the foundation of Gatriarchs, which brings us to our next topic, which I love. And I want to talk about how judgmental you were about parents and parenting before you had kids, but then how or if that changed when you did have kids. So for me, I assumed that when I was a dad, I would immediately lose all of my parental judgment. I would be the, you know what, now I get it, it&#39;s hard, everyone has their own path or whatever. And what I found was 50% of me did that. 50% of me immediately I immediately have compassion, right? I I I I&#39;m like, you know what? I I I have compassion for these people, it&#39;s really hard. But then I found a new 50% of me, which I didn&#39;t expect, which was I got even more judgmental. More judgmental because now I had boots on the ground experience, and now I knew what was bullshit and what was just being an asshole and what was real. So, like the whole like tired parent thing, and you know, never, you know, taking care of yourself. I&#39;m like that part I became very compassionate about. I&#39;m like, you know, uh parents on their screens, giving their kids screens. I was like, you know what, I&#39;m compassionate about that, I understand that. But the I don&#39;t want to sleep train my kid part of it, I became more judgmental about. Yeah. Because now I had been in the fucking foxhole. I I&#39;m quite I&#39;m curious if that was your experience too, where like after you became a parent, you still maintained some of your fucking judgmental bullshit that you carried over when you weren&#39;t a parent. Gavin: 8:10 Excuse me, my judgmentalness is not bullshit, it&#39;s legit. I mean, come on. Um, I was absolutely judgmental going into it. Um, and that goes in the vein of like, these are the things that I&#39;m never gonna do when I&#39;m a parent, and um and whatnot. Of course, we can all relate to that, but I completely embrace that because I feel like I put a lot of work into doing the okayest job I possibly can as a dad. And those who aren&#39;t even like putting in that effort, I oh yeah, I I my my judgmentalness is probably more vicious now than ever before. David: 8:47 But that&#39;s the only way the human race continues, is that people who aren&#39;t parents think they can do it better. So we all are like, watch me, and then we do it, and we&#39;re like, oh fuck. There are some things that are just harder to do. But it&#39;s it&#39;s just funny how I assumed that once I become a parent, I would have this huge revelation about you can never be judgmental and everybody&#39;s leading their own path, which is true, but also not true. Gavin: 9:11 I I so much of it does come down to putting in the effort too, because we&#39;re all on this massive journey that is so much work and so much more work than we all could have expected. And there&#39;s a difference though between choosing your battles, which sometimes you just choose your battles and you think I&#39;m not gonna do this, and then also just can&#39;t be bothered. And because it&#39;s inconvenient for you, there&#39;s a fair amount, I mean, let&#39;s face it, um, as a parent in New York City, I saw an awful lot of people who just can&#39;t be bothered. So then they it they inherently, or by default, inconvenience all of the lives around them because they can&#39;t be bothered to do X, Y, and Z, which just it&#39;s the hard work you put in now. You put in the hard work now so everything&#39;s easier down the line. That&#39;s for parenting, and that&#39;s uh that&#39;s lessons for your kids as well. And we all are the best parents until we become one, and then we realize we&#39;re just trying to do the okayest job we possibly can. David: 10:01 We&#39;re the okayest parents. Gavin: 10:04 Okay. Oh, I like that. Just okay. David: 10:09 We&#39;ll have merch at some point, and maybe we can have a shirt that says okay. Gavin: 10:14 Man, just putting in that little extra effort will pay off in the long run, I think. Um, so this weekend I uh was very fortunate to do some skiing with my kid, and having grown up in Colorado, that is a sometimes a favorite pastime, and sometimes like, why am I doing this? But anyway, we met up with one of his friends who happened to be up there, and um he he my kid peeled off with his friend and his friend&#39;s mom, and I was like, okay, buddy, I&#39;ll see you later. And he goes, Okay, love you, dad. And he&#39;s he skied away, and I thought, oh, I am so lucky. I am so lucky that my he just reflexively, I don&#39;t think he actually is thinking, I love you, dad. But he does say it every single time he leaves me. And I know it won&#39;t last forever, but it&#39;s really sweet, and I don&#39;t hear other kids doing that. And in fact, one time we were at a soccer game where he ran away from me saying, Okay, love you, dad, bye. And two boys next to him looked at each other and giggled, and I thought, oh, I&#39;m so glad that he didn&#39;t see that. And um, I don&#39;t know that he would care. But my whole br topic in bringing this up is I&#39;m curious how other people say I love you. And I mean literally those words I love you, I don&#39;t mean buying flowers or hand jobs or blowjobs or anything. David: 11:22 That&#39;s how I say I love you. Uh-huh. Gavin: 11:24 Well, as you should. It&#39;s a form of it&#39;s a communication form of love. Yeah. David: 11:29 It&#39;s a mouth hug. Gavin: 11:31 Switching gears here. My mom and I were love you. Not I love you. We just said love you. And I heard a friend of mine years ago um say he, I overheard a bunch of conversations while we were doing a theater gig together. And he was on the phone with his grandparents, who lived actually nearby the gig that we were doing, and he said, Okay, bye. I love you, grandpa. And I remember asking him, saying, Wow, that&#39;s it strikes me that you say I love you. And he said, you know, I realized they weren&#39;t gonna be around for much longer, and I kind of wanted to just be more mature about expressing it. And that really stuck with me. But I think there&#39;s a big difference between saying love you and I love you. And I always try to say I love you to my kids. And it&#39;s um, I don&#39;t know, have you ever thought about that? David: 12:16 Uh you know, I have, and and I thought about it slightly differently. I say I love you to my kids, um, and it&#39;s usually a more intimate thing. Like, like I&#39;ll I&#39;ll be like whispering in the ear of like I love you before bed, that kind of a stuff. But I I thought about it in the way that my relationship with straight men, my and what I mean straight men, like like like best friends, like some of my best, best friends. And you obviously say you love, I feel like our generation and younger broke through the mold of like you&#39;re allowed to say I love you to your friends, it doesn&#39;t mean I want to have sex with you. But I fat I remember thinking when I would say I love you or love you or whatever to my straight male friends that I felt very differently and I and I got nervous if I would say I love you and it would feel more intense than if I just said love you, buddy, right? Love you. And you always you have to have an article at the end of that. Love you and your sucking dick immediately. And and that and and so and I think there&#39;s this weird pressure on straight men to like if like love you, dude, love you, bro, is an acceptable way. But if you say I love you, that&#39;s too intimate and you&#39;re definitely uh going to the gay bars. But totally, but I I find myself trying to fight my uh my weirdness around that to my straight friends because I want to get over because I think that&#39;s stupid. So, but I I I remember thinking like like even recently, some of my best male friends, when I say like I love you, it feels so intense, but I think I am naturally I&#39;m a very kind of loving like person, so it doesn&#39;t sound as crazy to me, but it does feel that I love you feels so much more intense to somebody that&#39;s not your romantic partner. But for my kids, it&#39;s very much like I love you. Um but the the whole like love you bro, love you, bud kind of thing is is hilarious. But it but you know it it means the same thing. I&#39;m just trying to break through some of those like...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[On this week’s podcast, it’s national pancake day, because of course it is, Gavin tells us how he shows his love, and our real guest couldn’t make it this week, so we grabbed whoever was available, which is Emmy-nominated writer/showrunner Lorien Mckenna. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 All right, let me get to let us get into this. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 So wait, I have a pop star story for you that you&#39;re gonna have to include on the store on the show. Okay. David: 0:07 Should I even bother introing you? I mean, my god, you&#39;re just you&#39;re just you&#39;ve probably. SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Hi, my name, my name is Lorian McKenna, and I love to hear the sound of my voice, and so will you. Here we go. Well, so welcome to Gatriarch. David: 0:31 So, you know how last week I was talking about every fucking day is another day of celebration at the daycare? Endless. Do you know what yesterday was? Oh god, what? National Pancake Day, Gavin. Did you not know this? Oh god. So inevitably, there&#39;s just pancakes and syrup and whipped cream and cookies and all the fucking bullshit. That on top of the fact that this weekend we had um a four-year-old&#39;s birthday to go to at one of the play places that we talked about before. And two things of note happened that I thought were really hilarious. One is the cake was a blue velvet cake. Have you ever heard of blue velvet? Gavin: 1:10 I need to do I need to disentangle something real quick. Whose idea was it to bring Pancake Day into a preschool? Was it the teacher or some oppressive parent with nothing better on their time than to screw up everybody else&#39;s day by filling their children full of high fructose corn syrup? David: 1:26 No, it was a it&#39;s a school thing. Like it was on the calendar. Like national. There&#39;s also National Donut Day and National, you know, there&#39;s yeah, anyway. So we went to this birthday on at this place and they had this blue velvet, which is basically red velvet, which is basically chocolate cake with food coloring in it. Totally. What was hilarious is that we all had this like electric blue cake, and the next day I hear laughing and screaming from the other room, and I go in there and Emmett had taken a green shit, and he was so excited, and he was like, I pooped like the Hulk, I pooped like the Hulk. He was so excited. But anyway, that&#39;s that&#39;s awesome. Something I learned, and maybe you know this and I don&#39;t, and it&#39;s so smart, and I wish I had thought about it. I I&#39;m getting these. I probably know it already. I probably know it already. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you&#39;re very smart. Um, I&#39;m getting a lot of these invitations for these three and four-year-old birthday parties, as we do, and a lot of them are like, come to Gavin and David&#39;s party, and it&#39;s two unrelated kids having a co-birthday. And my thoughts had always been well, I guess these two kids&#39; moms are super close, right? Right. Well, then I went to this birthday this weekend and I was like, this place is pretty kind of cute. I wonder how much it costs. Well, it&#39;s two to three thousand dollars for a three-hour time time frame. And that&#39;s when I realized these parents are just dividing that bill in half. And I went, oh my god, fucking level unlocked for sure for the next birthday. We are co-birthday because it&#39;s the same kids. These kids don&#39;t have friends, they just have classmates that are their friends. So why not? You&#39;re gonna invite the same people, so why don&#39;t we just split the cost down in half? So I think that&#39;s genius, and that is for sure the double birthday is the way to go. Gavin: 3:06 I think that&#39;s an excellent dad hack, I might add, of talkin]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[On this week’s podcast, it’s national pancake day, because of course it is, Gavin tells us how he shows his love, and our real guest couldn’t make it this week, so we grabbed whoever was available, which is Emmy-nominated writer/showrunner Lorien Mckenna. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 All right, let me get to let us get into this. SPEAKER_01: 0:01 So wait, I have a pop star story for you that you&#39;re gonna have to include on the store on the show. Okay. David: 0:07 Should I even bother introing you? I mean, my god, you&#39;re just you&#39;re just you&#39;ve probably. SPEAKER_01: 0:11 Hi, my name, my name is Lorian McKenna, and I love to hear the sound of my voice, and so will you. Here we go. Well, so welcome to Gatriarch. Davi]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Jamie Grayson</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-jamie-grayson/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 22 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 I&#39;m I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. David: 0:08 And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:21 So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. And I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged, and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 1:25 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_01: 1:27 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m whenever I am having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. Be they have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense. Especially, frankly, the student council and popularity contest, which just essentially hurts feelings, but also you gotta deal with hurt feelings in your life, right? And and you and I, I mean, I don&#39;t know about you, I was never bullied. I wasn&#39;t bullied in a 2023 sense of the word, I was bullied in a early 1990s sense of the word. David: 2:41 So you were called faggot in the hallway. SPEAKER_01: 2:44 And even though I dreaded going to school almost every single day of my probably sophomore year of high school, and seventh, seventh grade and sophomore year, I also pushed through, and every day wasn&#39;t miserable, and I was I didn&#39;t come home crying. I just kind of like had to take a deep breath before I went into the schools those days and be like, oh god, here we go. And not every day was terrible, but I pushed through and it made me who I am today. And I wouldn&#39;t want to relive those years, but it made me who I am. David: 3:11 But that&#39;s the balance, right? That&#39;s the balance you&#39;re looking for, is that you wanna like, you want to give ja you want to sprinkle just enough trauma on top so they&#39;re interesting and they&#39;ve got a point of view and they&#39;re funny, but not enough trauma to where they go over the edge. So it&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s the trauma cookie we&#39;re trying to figure out of the balance of like how much trauma to sprinkle on top. Listen, I only attributed my funniness to being called faggot plenty in in middle school. So it&#39;s like, how many faggots do we need to sprinkle to really create the ideal child? This is like a eugenic uh uh question. But but but that I think that&#39;s the like the that&#39;s the evergreen parent question, right? Is like I want my kids to fail. My kids have to fail to learn and to move forward, but like I don&#39;t want my kid to break his arm, but I do want my kid to fall, but not to get too hurt, but to get hurt enough. I want, you know, I I struggle with this every day when like my kids like trying to get reaching for the the light and can&#39;t get the light switch. I&#39;m like, it would be so much easier for me to turn off the light. And I, it&#39;s the same way like putting the the plate in the sink and all the little things that would just make my life a little bit easier. It&#39;s just making it harder for him to learn how to do it better. But it&#39;s annoying, it&#39;s annoying to let your kids fail because you gotta hear them cry and whine, and that just that takes it out of me. But I get what you&#39;re saying, which is like you gotta have a little bit of experience and failure to become a stronger person in the future, but that process fucking sucks for parents. It sucks. SPEAKER_01: 4:42 Yeah, and if you don&#39;t have any resilience and you have your entire life handed to you on a silver plate, you just basically end up being an asshole. Or like a basic, I don&#39;t know, is the formula for the most popular kid on campus in high school and the the popular kid who then we like to joke will later be pumping gas because there&#39;s nothing literally interesting about them. They haven&#39;t had to work too hard, they haven&#39;t had to overcome anything emotionally. So when they are challenged by something when they&#39;re 19, 20, or 21, they literally don&#39;t know how to deal with it. David: 5:08 We all know the rich kids who learn that their their life lessons were very different than ours. So if those rich kids become unrich, right, shits creek, they don&#39;t have those fucking skills to kind of manage the the stress, not only the literal financial stress of like paying rent, but like the social stress of what money means. So like it&#39;s it&#39;s not a defense of them, but like how could it&#39;s like a celebrity who&#39;s been a celebrity since they were 12? Like, how could they possibly have any idea of reality? Because they in their formative years they didn&#39;t have any reality. And so what you&#39;re saying, like helicopter parents or bulldozer parents or whatever, it it is a hard. I think all parents probably aim for that that perfect middle, but like we&#39;re all just reliving our trauma from our childhoods or trying to repair that, right? We&#39;re all trying to like be like, well, my parents did this, so I&#39;m gonna try to do this. Yeah, but yeah, we&#39;re all trying to find that perfect line of like, I&#39;m gonna let you fall, but you&#39;re not gonna die. SPEAKER_01: 6:04 Yeah, well said. David: 6:05 So, in way less interesting news, I I realized that it&#39;s really important to have good parenting friends this weekend because we had friends over who were just like they brought their kids, they have two kids, we have two kids, they came over, we all go to daycare together, we live near each other, and uh we&#39;re like, oh, let&#39;s order pizzas, hang out, let the kids like trash the house, whatever. And uh my son doesn&#39;t eat a ton of sugar. We try to like make him make him treats. Like, like, oh, you get a treat every other day or whatever. So he doesn&#39;t eat a lot of sugar. SPEAKER_01: 6:32 Not but not to the degree of his first uh birthday cake that was just a pile of shit. David: 6:37 I&#39;m gonna like when we have show notes, I&#39;m gonna eventually put the photo of his first birthday party. It&#39;s fucking fantastic. He&#39;s sobbing because he his dad won&#39;t let him have sugar. But no, like he gets to have sugar, but like we try to make it a treat and not like an everyday thing. So anyway, at daycare, and I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s our daycare if it&#39;s all daycares, like every day is somebody&#39;s birthday. Every day is a special day. Every day there&#39;s fucking pudding and cakes and cookies and candies, and it is all it is nonstop. And I hate being the parent who&#39;s like, Can we have a little less sugar? I just wanted to be a little more special. Anyway, the point is he had a ton of fucking sugar. He came home and he&#39;s like, you know, Miss whoever gave me a bunch of this, and then I could and he goes, My tummy hurts. And I was like, Yeah, you ate too much sugar and let&#39;s just relax. Well, that ended up being him projectile vomiting all over the kitchen rug. Um, and literally in front of these two parents while we&#39;re eating pizza. And thank God, because we&#39;re all in this like hyped up pandemic-y kind of fear of you know, disease and whatever. And thank God they just they were like, oh, poor baby, and do we need help? And they just kept eating their pizza and so chill. And it&#39;s like so nice to have fellow parents who aren&#39;t traumatized by a child throwing up brownish liquid all over the kitchen floor because they fucking get it. And if their kid had started puking on our floor, we&#39;d be like, Oh, what do they need? Are they okay? We&#39;re not gonna panic because we get it. Our friend Ellen also came over uh a couple weeks ago for dinner, and our daughter was just like, you could just see in her eyes, there was like that far-off look in her eyes, and you know, like, you&#39;re gonna puke, aren&#39;t you? And she just, while we&#39;re all sitting at the table, she just green, like just terrible green liquid came out of her mouth, and she threw up. And it was just, she was like, Oh, do you need a tall gym? Like, it&#39;s so nice to be in the safety net, and I hope that this podcast is for a lot of people, is like the safety net of like, we&#39;re all in this terrible ride together. You don&#39;t have to worry. You don&#39;t have to worry about us. We get it. Kids puke, I&#39;m not afraid. Hand me a slice of pepperoni. SPEAKER_01: 8:41 But to take it to a judgmental uh realm, though, I would say anybody who thinks, oh, I can deal with my own kids&#39; poop, I can deal with my own kid&#39;s vomit, but I can&#39;t deal with yours. I want to be like, really? What made you so great? Because it&#39;s pretty much all the same thing. David: 8:55 I mean, I suppose germophobes out there, but Or also, I think also what comes into play is like puke is puke and shit and vomit all this stuff is not fun when it&#39;s your own kid. It&#39;s just not stressful, right? It&#39;s not like, okay, well, it&#39;s like whatever, we&#39;re gonna clean up this whatever, but it&#39;s not enjoyable. So when it&#39;s another kid, I always say, like, that&#39;s your fucking kid. Good luck with it. Yeah, like like it&#39;s not that I&#39;m turned off where I&#39;m like, oh god, what&#39;s going on, and that&#39;s so disgusting. I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t like cute cleaning puke. That&#39;s your fucking kid. You clean it up. So anyway, RIP, the kitchen rug we had. That is that is now in the dump. SPEAKER_01: 9:27 There was a time that I was having a uh an adult play date at the playground with a friend of mine who doesn&#39;t have kids. David: 9:34 Tell tell it, tell me slowly, tell me slowly. SPEAKER_01: 9:38 There was nothing nefarious, and it was in full broad daylight. David: 9:41 It was just like skip the story, just skip on ahead. Skip 30 seconds, everyone. SPEAKER_01: 9:45 And he said, Um, hey, we haven&#39;t seen each other forever. And I was like, Well, I&#39;m just always at playground, so you can just like, do you mind coming to the playground? It&#39;s just a couple blocks away from you. So this friend of mine who uh shows up, he is gay. He I doubt he&#39;s listening to this, but John, this is dedicated to you. And um and he was he&#39;s definitely like uh kids. I just don&#39;t know what to do. I mean, oh my god, uh shit or vomited in front of him. Um, well, soon presented itself because my kid was not feeling very good. And I mean she was low key, but I didn&#39;t think anything was happening, and then suddenly she just turned towards me looking white and barked in my lap. And my friend hopped up and hightailed it out of that playground so quickly. And it wasn&#39;t, there was no, there was no sense of like, hey, do you need anything? Or it was very much like there was no tag, there was no, there was no nothing. It was like, I&#39;m out of here, bye. And um, I definitely did not see him again for another couple of years. David: 10:44 That&#39;s my favorite part about ch children throwing up, is that not they don&#39;t go, I think I have to throw up, and they like casually walk to the toilet and they get on their knees, like, no, no, no, no. They look towards you and they vomit in the most horrible way possible. I remember my the first time I remember my son actually throwing up, he he kept, and I felt bad. He kept wanting to like hug me, like he kept wanting to be on me, so whenever he&#39;d feel like you throw up, he would walk towards me like this little vomity monster, and I would run away from him. And I felt horrible because I was like, I don&#39;t want you to puke on me, but I but and he just so badly wanted to be held, and so you eventually just you just have to hold them covered in vomit. Listen, for those of you who are aspiring parents, this is it. We&#39;re giving you the actual tea. If you can handle a child throwing up directly into your lap, you got this parenting thing. SPEAKER_01: 11:33 And she said, I have a lot of empathy for people, and I&#39;m like, Really? Because you&#39;re a monster asshole to me. But I did not say that out loud. I was like, and I know that she&#39;s an empathetic kid. And she said, you know what? I have empathy for every also I didn&#39;t realize that she frankly knew the term uh or the definition of empathy, and frankly, it might be a little questionable still. And frankly, I think a lot of adults don&#39;t even know what empathy means or the difference between empathy and sympathy. But anyway, I&#39;ll get off my grammatical high horse. She uh said, I think even my stuffed animals have feelings, and so I don&#39;t want to get rid of them because I feel bad, even if I don&#39;t want to hold on to them. Which has forced us to have to steal away in the middle of the night or while she&#39;s at school one toy at a time and just disappear it. And she never asks, and she she completely forgets about it, or if she does once in a while say, Hey, hey, where was that pink bear? I&#39;ll be like, I don&#39;t know, and then she&#39;s on to something else anyway. But I have to admit, when I look at their little stuffed animal faces in the trash, a little part of me dies too. David: 12:38 It&#39;s very Toy Story, and it reminds me of like, you know, like you&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re basically becoming like the Greek mafia, just like disappearing people at night. And I say Greek mafia not to be offensive because I used to live in a I used to live in Astoria Queens, which is very, very Greek at the time, and now it&#39;s just like young actors. But at the time it was very Greek, and I was at this cafe, and at the cafe, there was this, I&#39;m gonna say, gentleman experiencing homelessness person who kept coming into the cafe and was like, you know, yelling whatever. And this like older Greek woman who was running the front counter was not having any of it. She would come out, she&#39;d scream at him, she would push him out the door, she like had a broom, she...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us ou]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 I&#39;m I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. David: 0:08 And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:21 So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. And I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged, and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 1:25 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_01: 1:27 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m whenever I am having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. Be they have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense. Especially, frankly, the student council and popularity contest, which just essentially hurts feelings, but also you gotta deal with hurt feelings in your life, right? And and you and I, I mean, I don&#39;t know about you, I was never bullied. I wasn&#39;t bullied in a 2023 sense of the word, I was bullied in a early 1990s sense of the word. David: 2:41 So you were called faggot in the hallway. SPEAKER_01: 2:44 And even though I dreaded going to school almost every single day of my probably sophomore year of high school, and seventh, seventh grade and sophomore year, I also pushed through, and every day wasn&#39;t miserable, and I was I didn&#39;t come home crying. I just kind of like had to take a deep breath before I went into the schools those days and be like, oh god, here we go. And not every day was terrible, but I pushed through and it made me who I am today. And I wouldn&#39;t want to relive those years, but it made me who I am. David: 3:11 But that&#39;s the balance, right? That&#39;s the balance you&#39;re looking for, is that you wanna like, you want to give ja you want to sprinkle just enough trauma on top so they&#39;re interesting and they&#39;ve got a point of view and they&#39;re funny, but not enough trauma to where they go over the edge. So it&#39;s like it&#39;s it&#39;s the trauma cookie we&#39;re trying to figure out of the balance of like how much trauma to sprinkle on top. Listen, I only attributed my funniness to being called faggot plenty in in middle school. So it&#39;s like, how many faggots do we need to sprinkle to really create the ideal child? This is like a eugenic uh uh question. But but but that I think that&#39;s the like the that&#39;s the evergreen parent question, right? Is like I want my kids to fail. My kids have to fail to learn and to move forward, but like I don&#39;t want my kid to break his arm, but I do want my kid to fall, but not to get too hurt, but to get hurt enough. I want, you know, I I struggle with this every day when like my kids like trying to get reaching for the the light and can&#39;t get the light switch. I&#39;m like, it would be so much easier for me to turn off the light. And I, it&#39;s the same way like putting the the plate in the sink and all the little things that would just make my life a little bit easier. It&#39;s just making it harder for him to learn how to do it better. But it&#39;s annoying, it&#39;s annoying to let your kids fail because you gotta hear them cry and whine, and that just that takes it out of me. But I get what you&#39;re saying, which is like you gotta have a little bit of experience and failure to become a stronger person in the future, but that process fucking sucks for parents. It sucks. SPEAKER_01: 4:42 Yeah, and if you don&#39;t have any resilience and you have your entire life handed to you on a silver plate, you just basically end up being an asshole. Or like a basic, I don&#39;t know, is the formula for the most popular kid on campus in high school and the the popular kid who then we like to joke will later be pumping gas because there&#39;s nothing literally interesting about them. They haven&#39;t had to work too hard, they haven&#39;t had to overcome anything emotionally. So when they are challenged by something when they&#39;re 19, 20, or 21, they literally don&#39;t know how to deal with it. David: 5:08 We all know the rich kids who learn that their their life lessons were very different than ours. So if those rich kids become unrich, right, shits creek, they don&#39;t have those fucking skills to kind of manage the the stress, not only the literal financial stress of like paying rent, but like the social stress of what money means. So like it&#39;s it&#39;s not a defense of them, but like how could it&#39;s like a celebrity who&#39;s been a celebrity since they were 12? Like, how could they possibly have any idea of reality? Because they in their formative years they didn&#39;t have any reality. And so what you&#39;re saying, like helicopter parents or bulldozer parents or whatever, it it is a hard. I think all parents probably aim for that that perfect middle, but like we&#39;re all just reliving our trauma from our childhoods or trying to repair that, right? We&#39;re all trying to like be like, well, my parents did this, so I&#39;m gonna try to do this. Yeah, but yeah, we&#39;re all trying to find that perfect line of like, I&#39;m gonna let you fall, but you&#39;re not gonna die. SPEAKER_01: 6:04 Yeah, well said. David: 6:05 So, in way less interesting news, I I realized that it&#39;s really important to have good parenting friends this weekend because we had friends over who were just like they brought their kids, they have two kids, we have two kids, they came over, we all go to daycare together, we live near each other, and uh we&#39;re like, oh, let&#39;s order pizzas, hang out, let the kids like trash the house, whatever. And uh my son doesn&#39;t eat a ton of sugar. We try to like make him make him treats. Like, like, oh, you get a treat every other day or whatever. So he doesn&#39;t eat a lot of sugar. SPEAKER_01: 6:32 Not but not to the degree of his first uh birthday cake that was just a pile of shit. David: 6:37 I&#39;m gonna like when we have show notes, I&#39;m gonna eventually put the photo of his first birthday party. It&#39;s fucking fantastic. He&#39;s sobbing because he his dad won&#39;t let him have sugar. But no, like he gets to have sugar, but like we try to make it a treat and not like an everyday thing. So anyway, at daycare, and I don&#39;t know if it&#39;s our daycare if it&#39;s all daycares, like every day is somebody&#39;s birthday. Every day is a special day. Every day there&#39;s fucking pudding and cakes and cookies and candies, and it is all it is nonstop. And I hate being the parent who&#39;s like, Can we have a little less sugar? I just wanted to be a little more special. Anyway, the point is he had a ton of fucking sugar. He came home and he&#39;s like, you know, Miss whoever gave me a bunch of this, and then I could and he goes, My tummy hurts. And I was like, Yeah, you ate too much sugar and let&#39;s just relax. Well, that ended up being him projectile vomiting all over the kitchen rug. Um, and literally in front of these two parents while we&#39;re eating pizza. And thank God, because we&#39;re all in this like hyped up pandemic-y kind of fear of you know, disease and whatever. And thank God they just they were like, oh, poor baby, and do we need help? And they just kept eating their pizza and so chill. And it&#39;s like so nice to have fellow parents who aren&#39;t traumatized by a child throwing up brownish liquid all over the kitchen floor because they fucking get it. And if their kid had started puking on our floor, we&#39;d be like, Oh, what do they need? Are they okay? We&#39;re not gonna panic because we get it. Our friend Ellen also came over uh a couple weeks ago for dinner, and our daughter was just like, you could just see in her eyes, there was like that far-off look in her eyes, and you know, like, you&#39;re gonna puke, aren&#39;t you? And she just, while we&#39;re all sitting at the table, she just green, like just terrible green liquid came out of her mouth, and she threw up. And it was just, she was like, Oh, do you need a tall gym? Like, it&#39;s so nice to be in the safety net, and I hope that this podcast is for a lot of people, is like the safety net of like, we&#39;re all in this terrible ride together. You don&#39;t have to worry. You don&#39;t have to worry about us. We get it. Kids puke, I&#39;m not afraid. Hand me a slice of pepperoni. SPEAKER_01: 8:41 But to take it to a judgmental uh realm, though, I would say anybody who thinks, oh, I can deal with my own kids&#39; poop, I can deal with my own kid&#39;s vomit, but I can&#39;t deal with yours. I want to be like, really? What made you so great? Because it&#39;s pretty much all the same thing. David: 8:55 I mean, I suppose germophobes out there, but Or also, I think also what comes into play is like puke is puke and shit and vomit all this stuff is not fun when it&#39;s your own kid. It&#39;s just not stressful, right? It&#39;s not like, okay, well, it&#39;s like whatever, we&#39;re gonna clean up this whatever, but it&#39;s not enjoyable. So when it&#39;s another kid, I always say, like, that&#39;s your fucking kid. Good luck with it. Yeah, like like it&#39;s not that I&#39;m turned off where I&#39;m like, oh god, what&#39;s going on, and that&#39;s so disgusting. I&#39;m just like, I don&#39;t like cute cleaning puke. That&#39;s your fucking kid. You clean it up. So anyway, RIP, the kitchen rug we had. That is that is now in the dump. SPEAKER_01: 9:27 There was a time that I was having a uh an adult play date at the playground with a friend of mine who doesn&#39;t have kids. David: 9:34 Tell tell it, tell me slowly, tell me slowly. SPEAKER_01: 9:38 There was nothing nefarious, and it was in full broad daylight. David: 9:41 It was just like skip the story, just skip on ahead. Skip 30 seconds, everyone. SPEAKER_01: 9:45 And he said, Um, hey, we haven&#39;t seen each other forever. And I was like, Well, I&#39;m just always at playground, so you can just like, do you mind coming to the playground? It&#39;s just a couple blocks away from you. So this friend of mine who uh shows up, he is gay. He I doubt he&#39;s listening to this, but John, this is dedicated to you. And um and he was he&#39;s definitely like uh kids. I just don&#39;t know what to do. I mean, oh my god, uh shit or vomited in front of him. Um, well, soon presented itself because my kid was not feeling very good. And I mean she was low key, but I didn&#39;t think anything was happening, and then suddenly she just turned towards me looking white and barked in my lap. And my friend hopped up and hightailed it out of that playground so quickly. And it wasn&#39;t, there was no, there was no sense of like, hey, do you need anything? Or it was very much like there was no tag, there was no, there was no nothing. It was like, I&#39;m out of here, bye. And um, I definitely did not see him again for another couple of years. David: 10:44 That&#39;s my favorite part about ch children throwing up, is that not they don&#39;t go, I think I have to throw up, and they like casually walk to the toilet and they get on their knees, like, no, no, no, no. They look towards you and they vomit in the most horrible way possible. I remember my the first time I remember my son actually throwing up, he he kept, and I felt bad. He kept wanting to like hug me, like he kept wanting to be on me, so whenever he&#39;d feel like you throw up, he would walk towards me like this little vomity monster, and I would run away from him. And I felt horrible because I was like, I don&#39;t want you to puke on me, but I but and he just so badly wanted to be held, and so you eventually just you just have to hold them covered in vomit. Listen, for those of you who are aspiring parents, this is it. We&#39;re giving you the actual tea. If you can handle a child throwing up directly into your lap, you got this parenting thing. SPEAKER_01: 11:33 And she said, I have a lot of empathy for people, and I&#39;m like, Really? Because you&#39;re a monster asshole to me. But I did not say that out loud. I was like, and I know that she&#39;s an empathetic kid. And she said, you know what? I have empathy for every also I didn&#39;t realize that she frankly knew the term uh or the definition of empathy, and frankly, it might be a little questionable still. And frankly, I think a lot of adults don&#39;t even know what empathy means or the difference between empathy and sympathy. But anyway, I&#39;ll get off my grammatical high horse. She uh said, I think even my stuffed animals have feelings, and so I don&#39;t want to get rid of them because I feel bad, even if I don&#39;t want to hold on to them. Which has forced us to have to steal away in the middle of the night or while she&#39;s at school one toy at a time and just disappear it. And she never asks, and she she completely forgets about it, or if she does once in a while say, Hey, hey, where was that pink bear? I&#39;ll be like, I don&#39;t know, and then she&#39;s on to something else anyway. But I have to admit, when I look at their little stuffed animal faces in the trash, a little part of me dies too. David: 12:38 It&#39;s very Toy Story, and it reminds me of like, you know, like you&#39;re you&#39;re you&#39;re basically becoming like the Greek mafia, just like disappearing people at night. And I say Greek mafia not to be offensive because I used to live in a I used to live in Astoria Queens, which is very, very Greek at the time, and now it&#39;s just like young actors. But at the time it was very Greek, and I was at this cafe, and at the cafe, there was this, I&#39;m gonna say, gentleman experiencing homelessness person who kept coming into the cafe and was like, you know, yelling whatever. And this like older Greek woman who was running the front counter was not having any of it. She would come out, she&#39;d scream at him, she would push him out the door, she like had a broom, she...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 I&#39;m I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. David: 0:08 And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:21 So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. And I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of intelligence out there. And I saw a tweet from this woman who was definitely like, I don&#39;t know, 18, 19, 20, pre-kids. And she said, the tweet was, parenting looks so hard. It seems like you have to traumatize your kids just enough so that they end up funny. I think about that all the time because of the ways that, you know, there&#39;s the term helicopter dad, and then there&#39;s also the term like bulldozer dad, where we&#39;re pushing everything out of the way to protect our kids in every single possible way so they possibly never will possibly meet any resistance, any discomfort, any challenges whatsoever. Meanwhile, at the same time, we do want them to be challenged, and we want them to be resilient. I resilience is something I think about almost as much as I think about gratitude, and you know I think about gratitude. David: 1:25 Girl is gay for gratitude. SPEAKER_01: 1:27 Yes, uh, yes, gay for gratitude and resilience. I am gay for resilience. And so I think about that tweet a lot. Whenever I&#39;m whenever I am having to say to my kids, like, just buck up, kid. You just gotta deal with this a little bit. Or when we think about all the ways we&#39;re trying to insulate our kids, like my older kid is in middle school now. They no longer have a dance because uh not because the kids were rowdy, but because they just ran around the entire time. It like literally sprinted through the hallways. So they were like, well, what&#39;s the point of like dimming the lights and turning the music on when they just run through the hallways? They also don&#39;t use lockers anymore. Be they have a locker that they can use in the morning and in the afternoon, but they can&#39;t go to them in between classes because they said it was just too much friction causing. And then the uh third, they don&#39;t have a student council anymore because it was just a popularity contest. Now, all of their logic makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense. Especially, frankly, the student council and popularity contest, which just essentially hurts feelings, but also you gotta deal with hurt feelings in your life, right? And and you and I, I mean, I don&#39;t know about you, I was never bullied. I wasn&#39;t bullied in a 2023 sense of the word, I was bullied in a early 1990s sense of the word. David: 2:41 So you were called faggot in the hallway. SPEAKER_01: 2:44 And even though I dreaded going to school almost every single day of my probably sophomore year of high school, and seventh, seventh grade and sophomore year, I also pushed through, and every day wasn&#39;t miserable, and I was I didn&#39;t come home crying. I just kind of like had to take a deep breath before I went into the schools those days and be like, oh god, here we go. And not every day was terrible, but I pushed through and it made me who I am today. And I wouldn&#39;t want to relive those years, but it made me who I am. David: 3:11 But that&#39;s the balance, right? That&#39;s the balance you&#39;re looki]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:duration>0:00</itunes:duration>
	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we get very serious and jump right into a casual conversation about vomit and poop. Our special guest star is Jamie Grayson, or as we like to call him “the baby gear Swiftie.” Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_01: 0:00 I&#39;m I try to lower expectations as much as possible so I can delight and surprise with my humor. But most of the time, trust I&#39;m just the tall one. David: 0:08 And this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:21 So frequently I think about a really funny tweet that I read a couple years ago. And I don&#39;t spend a lot of time on Twitter. I just feel like, well, one, it&#39;s a time suck, obviously. And two, I um it&#39;s a time suck. And three, it&#39;s a time suck. But I do think that there&#39;s an awful lot of i]]></googleplay:description>
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<item>
	<title>The one with Mike Lubin</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-mike-lubin/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
	<guid isPermaLink="false">Buzzsprout-12404236</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[This week’s show starts off with David telling us how he feels about other people’s kids, we talk about consumerism, and our guest this week is Becky with the good hair, Mike Lubin, who created one of NYC’s first gay Dad’s meet up groups. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 My partner was asking me what computer are you gonna get, and uh I was like, I just I honestly I need the basics, the bare minimum. I just need to be able to do email and porn. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 Okay, so you know those clay places that are indoor, like there&#39;s slides and ball pits, and you know, they host kids&#39; birthday parties and and petri dishes of diseases. Correct, and there&#39;s shit everywhere. Um so there&#39;s one by us, and we go there, you know, once a month, maybe. We we we you know, it&#39;s fun, it&#39;s expensive, right? It costs like 50, 60 bucks for all four of us to go every time. So, but it&#39;s a lot of fun. Um I realized something this weekend when we were there was I hate other people&#39;s kids. And I was like, yeah, and the ri and and then it came to my mind because I was sitting in the ball pit with my son and my daughter, and they were having fun, they were throwing balls, and there&#39;s other kids kind of throwing balls or whatever. And this cute little girl, three, four, somewhere around there, kind of walked over to me and she had like a ball, and she goes, Look! And she like threw the ball towards like the pit that all the kids were throwing in. And my first instinct, honestly, was like, Why the fuck are you talking to me? And I&#39;m like, why do I have such a visceral reaction to other children talking to me? And I was just like, anytime a kid there did something I didn&#39;t like, they&#39;d cut in front of someone, they push somebody down, they sneeze with their you know mouth open or whatever it is. I was like, oh, these disgusting vermin. When my kids do it, I&#39;m like, yeah, kids will be kids, right? And I was like, what a what first of all? Obviously, I&#39;m a hypocrite. I&#39;m a hypocrite in life, but I was just thinking, is this a normal parent thing? Is this a normal parent thing for us to like love our kids and even love like our friends&#39; kids or people who are like kids in our life? But when like a stranger&#39;s kid does something totally benign, we&#39;re just like, get away from me. Why are you talking to me? Or am I a horrible person? SPEAKER_00: 2:04 Or both. I mean, that is a foregone conclusion. I talk shit about my kids all the time. I, in particular, one of them, I won&#39;t say which, I throw under the bus an awful lot. I mean, okay, it&#39;s my daughter. She&#39;s wonderful, she&#39;s kind, she is smart, she&#39;s all the things that actually matter, but I will absolutely be like, oh my god, if you would just change your attitude. And um, I mean, I had a lot of shit talking to do about my kids, without a doubt. But when it comes down to it, I don&#39;t want to trade them in for anybody else&#39;s kids. Not your kids, David. No offense. I&#39;m sure that your kids aren&#39;t as cool as mine, in my view, even though I talk shit about them constantly. David: 2:41 Yeah, other kids are so fucking annoying. Do you know when our um dads of the year mugs arrive? Or do you know when they&#39;re arriving? Because we just started this episode with like kids for other people&#39;s kids fucking suck. Fuck those kids. SPEAKER_00: 2:54 Let&#39;s be honest, kids ruin everything and they&#39;re assholes. I did one time, I saw a dude with a t-shirt that I it was one of those times that I stopped him and said, Can I please take a picture of your shirt? Because it said world&#39;s okayest dad. David: 3:07 Yeah. Yeah. Relatable. That&#39;s a yeah, that&#39;s a relatable thing. Um, also, what&#39;s very relatable and super embarrassing is I am now entering the phase. My son is three and a half. We are now entering the phase of me getting told on, um, and I wasn&#39;t prepared. Oh I wasn&#39;t prepared. Um, I drive the kids to school in the morning and I drop them off um by myself. And I am a verbal driver. Let&#39;s say that. I am get out of my way. What are you doing? Why are you such an idiot? You know, I&#39;m I&#39;m just a typical Jersey driver. And my husband, for whatever reason, had to drop off the kids by himself the other day. And he comes home and he goes, Do you know what your son said today? And I said, No. He goes, A woman wasn&#39;t like the the light had turned green, and the woman wasn&#39;t going. And Emmett from the backseat goes, You can go, boo-boo. And my husband was like, Where did he learn that? And I was like, Oh fuck. Now, whenever I say something in the presence of my kids, I have to worry that it gets back to my husband. So, like, secrets are secrets are out. Like, there&#39;s no there&#39;s no like, hey, let&#39;s not talk about how daddy did like a pre-dinner drive-thru at Wendy&#39;s just to take the edge off because it&#39;s gonna like I&#39;m gonna get told on. So I&#39;m in a new phase and I don&#39;t know how I feel about it. SPEAKER_00: 4:26 Uh yeah, I there have been a few instances where I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve actually said, please don&#39;t say anything to your other dad about this. Uh, but there have been times that I thought, oh God, this is gonna come back to bite me in the ass, that&#39;s for sure, just on the home front. David: 4:42 We still have the baby, so that&#39;s good. I can still tell her secrets, I can still do embarrassing things in front of her, but you know, my time&#39;s out with Emmett. Absolutely, you&#39;re done there. SPEAKER_00: 4:49 You&#39;re done. So something that&#39;s driving me crazy recently is uh this morning I was having a perfectly lovely conversation as I was driving my kid to the bus, uh, my older daughter, who&#39;s 11. And we had been having a good morning. Everything was good. Like, I got her up in time, I fed the animals uh because I knew she was running a little behind. And she was like, Oh, thanks for doing that for me, daddy. David: 5:08 When you say you fed the animals, do you mean you fed your children? SPEAKER_00: 5:12 Plus the dog and the cat. Got it. And she said, Oh, I forgot it&#39;s Friday, you&#39;re doing that for me. And I&#39;m like, No, it&#39;s because I got you up too late. And I was the one laying in bed looking at my phone and realized, oh god, I&#39;ve woken her up in that past the window of idealism. Anyway, so we&#39;re in the car, we&#39;re driving, and she said, Oh, Daddy, I want to show you this thing. She pulls out her phone and I&#39;m like, Oh, something to buy? She&#39;s like, never mind, you don&#39;t even need to see it. I&#39;m like, no, no, please tell me. Is it something? What do you want, what do you want to show me? Yes, it&#39;s this new skincare thing that&#39;s totally trending. And I&#39;m like, oh my god, can we just have one morning where we&#39;re not talking about buying shit? Because, oh my goodness, let me tell you, when you get to those consumerist years, may you not have TikTok in just a few years uh when your kids are old enough to be told by the entire capitalist hegemony of um, you know, rapacious capitalism. I understood three of those ten words. You&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s let me tell you, it&#39;s uh I mean, just crazy capitalism gets their claws in you. And I think it is kind of a genetic trait, I admit. I was a big old consumer when I was a kid and I just wanted to buy shit all the time. But that was based upon the Saturday morning cartoons I was watching back in the world. David: 6:23 But that&#39;s her TikTok now. SPEAKER_00: 6:24 That&#39;s her TikTok. David: 6:25 And also, don&#39;t you run a company where you sell shit to people? SPEAKER_00: 6:30 Where I sell overpriced, unnecessary items that nobody actually needs in their lives. Yes, but it&#39;s high quality that&#39;ll last you for years. The title of this episode is We Are Hypocrites. Brought to you and sponsored by EC Nox, baby gear for stylish dads. So, going back to what my kid wanted to show me as I shut her down and crushed her spirit on this morning, she wanted to show me more about her skincare routine. I&#39;m gonna be talking about this for a while. My kid, of course, is 11 and she has flawless skin, but do you realize that there is an entire market out there that is catering or rather preying on 11-year-old children who think that they need to use skincare products? And I&#39;m like, sweetie, you have perfect skin. You don&#39;t need to worry about this. And she&#39;s like, but dad, it&#39;s not about that. It&#39;s so that my skin remains flawless. And I&#39;m like, right, so that you don&#39;t look like me in 40 years. I get it, but I don&#39;t think you needed to start using skincare, which by the way, is not um sunscreen. I mean, and also, far be for me to suggest she put some sunscreen on, because this is the only skincare you actually need. I have checked that out with a friend of mine who is a dermatologist, and she&#39;s like, it&#39;s all bullshit. Just get luperderm and skin and um sunscreen. That&#39;s all you need, is just like a little bit of hydration and mainly sunscreen. But oh no, you think drunk elephant? Do you know the name drunk elephant? No. Do you know it&#39;s it&#39;s the latest thing on TikTok, and it&#39;s they&#39;ve got very, very funny Instagram posts. But drunk elephant is this overpriced, bougie skincare preying on my 11-year-old child. And is it anything about um sunscreen? Hell no. Is it all about absurd serums and moistures? I&#39;m like, Allison, oh my god, you were 11 years old. You do not need eye serums. David: 8:18 Also, think about like the stupid bullshit we adults put on our face. I think about like those Korean face masks, which I yeah, for sure put on my face. And you have this like disfigured panda like laying on top of your skin. You look like a marking serial killer, and we&#39;re like, oh yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s the newest trend from Korea. Like, we are we are exactly what your daughter is. She&#39;s just yeah, she just happens to have the good skin still. And it probably is a little hurtful for her to be like, yeah, but dad, I don&#39;t want to look like you. SPEAKER_00: 8:48 Yep. Yep. Yep. Is it hurtful? I&#39;m I&#39;m now used to it because she&#39;s crushed my soul enough over the last few years that it&#39;s fine. I I was probably soulless to begin with, right? But yeah, but I&#39;m all about you know what I&#39;m all about looking like a panda on a Saturday night watching movies. I think that&#39;s fun. David: 9:06 A giant goblet of wine, a disgusting disfigured panda laying atop your face. SPEAKER_00: 9:13 And when you peel it off, it does feel refreshing. It does. I love the I love it. I think it&#39;s fun. But um, and we went through a phase of buying those cheap ass, probably not bougie Korean face masks at Target. Um, and then uh my daughter broke out because of one. I mean, she got a full rash on her face, and so luckily we don&#39;t now we don&#39;t waste our money on things that cost$3.99. She is pining away for things that cost$399 instead, you know? Good thing you&#39;re really rich. David: 9:47 Listen, all that sweet Gateriarch&#39;s money is pouring in, so you got to buy all the Korean face masks you want. So, thank you notes. Do you do them? Yes, and by you, you mean my husband does 95% of them, and I&#39;m like, oh, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll put stamps on them and address them. And he&#39;s like, and then I&#39;m like, we did thank you notes, didn&#39;t we? He&#39;s like, no. But yeah, he is he&#39;s a big believer in thank you notes, and I I get a little thank you notes can feel a little oppressive. Like, like somebody was like, hey, I&#39;ll drive you to the airport. It&#39;s like, do they need a thank you note? But my husband is a thank you noter. Like we buy them in bulk at Costco, no joke. And then he writes them for everything. So yeah, we&#39;re a thank you note family. SPEAKER_00: 10:30 Well, that&#39;s pretty extreme. I mean, I think it&#39;s appreciated, and I think it&#39;s a lot of thought and action that counts. Uh ride to the airport, I&#39;m not sure that I necessarily would give a thank you note for that. I think dinners are um it&#39;s an appreciated thing. But I do force my kids to write thank you notes for Christmas and for a birthday. For sure. Yeah, we do too. And I&#39;ve been able to say to them, listen, you gotta thank them and show some gratitude, or they won&#39;t buy for you next year. I&#39;m not sure if that&#39;s actually even true. And the percentage of people who actually send me a thank you note, I mean, far be it for me to sound uh morally superior to anybody I am, but the percentage of people who actually send anything is very, very small, right? But it is not about the torture I&#39;m inflicting upon my kids to do it. Now it&#39;s an expectation, they just do it and they get over with, and they put in, I mean, you want to talk about a half-assed thank you note, it&#39;s almost embarrassing what they&#39;re sending. I mean, I&#39;m lucky if I get a pencil scrawled chicken scratch that says thanks for the shirt. But I grew up doing it, my mom forced me to do it, and um, and I think it&#39;s it&#39;s it it&#39;s it&#39;s a c it&#39;s a personal interhuman connection that you make with the person who thought enough to send you something in this world where we&#39;re increasingly disconnected and don&#39;t think shit about anybody. And um, but also, and this is probably probably part of a much larger topic that I could talk about for hours and plan to for the next two years of our first two seasons of Daytriarch, and then I&#39;ll find something else for the next ten seasons. But it&#39;s all about gratitude. I just feel like I just want my kids to appreciate what incredibly lucky lives they live um in our um tiny house with really low ceilings. And no mom. And no mom. David: 12:13 You know, we who so I saw a TikTok trend and it actually made because I I uh the the I the idea of thank you notes, love it. Love it. Love a thank you note, think it&#39;s sweet, it&#39;s it&#39;s romantic, it&#39;s old school. But doing them, writing like 20 for Christmas is so exhausting. But I saw a TikTok trend which was really great, which was you kind of open like all the cards out on a table, and then you just give your kids crayons and markers and just let them go fucking bananas, and then you swoop in at the end, be like, hey, a little artwork from the kids, thank you so much, blah blah blah blah. And it doesn&#39;t need to look good, it&#39;s just chaos of colors. But for them, it feels like super, like super personal and and super cool and fun. And for the kids, it&#39;s you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s killing 30 minutes, which is the name of the game. Absolutely. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Now I will say, I admit, just this week I was feeling morally superior and texted a friend of mine from uh early preschool days who we commiserated about how important thank you notes are and looked down our noses at those who didn&#39;t send them. Occasionally we send each other a text to just um you know revel in our superiority. And uh, but uh just this week I saw an article I in some newspaper that was about how thank you notes are actually super oppressive and they are a sign of incredible privilege, and uh we need and and they&#39;re performative, and it&#39;s almost showing off like your moral superiority. And it did give me pause a little bit. Of course, the article it was it was a blog piece, and um it&#39;s a bastion, it&#39;s saying it&#39;s a bastion of old school Martha Stewart, no, Donna Reed white privilege from the 1950s, right? Of um etiquette and whatnot, and that it&#39;s uh it&#39;s an absurd performative display of privilege. And uh, but at the same time, it did say, listen, if it makes you feel good...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week’s show starts off with David telling us how he feels about other people’s kids, we talk about consumerism, and our guest this week is Becky with the good hair, Mike Lubin, who created one of NYC’s first gay Dad’s meet up groups. Thanks for list]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week’s show starts off with David telling us how he feels about other people’s kids, we talk about consumerism, and our guest this week is Becky with the good hair, Mike Lubin, who created one of NYC’s first gay Dad’s meet up groups. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 My partner was asking me what computer are you gonna get, and uh I was like, I just I honestly I need the basics, the bare minimum. I just need to be able to do email and porn. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 Okay, so you know those clay places that are indoor, like there&#39;s slides and ball pits, and you know, they host kids&#39; birthday parties and and petri dishes of diseases. Correct, and there&#39;s shit everywhere. Um so there&#39;s one by us, and we go there, you know, once a month, maybe. We we we you know, it&#39;s fun, it&#39;s expensive, right? It costs like 50, 60 bucks for all four of us to go every time. So, but it&#39;s a lot of fun. Um I realized something this weekend when we were there was I hate other people&#39;s kids. And I was like, yeah, and the ri and and then it came to my mind because I was sitting in the ball pit with my son and my daughter, and they were having fun, they were throwing balls, and there&#39;s other kids kind of throwing balls or whatever. And this cute little girl, three, four, somewhere around there, kind of walked over to me and she had like a ball, and she goes, Look! And she like threw the ball towards like the pit that all the kids were throwing in. And my first instinct, honestly, was like, Why the fuck are you talking to me? And I&#39;m like, why do I have such a visceral reaction to other children talking to me? And I was just like, anytime a kid there did something I didn&#39;t like, they&#39;d cut in front of someone, they push somebody down, they sneeze with their you know mouth open or whatever it is. I was like, oh, these disgusting vermin. When my kids do it, I&#39;m like, yeah, kids will be kids, right? And I was like, what a what first of all? Obviously, I&#39;m a hypocrite. I&#39;m a hypocrite in life, but I was just thinking, is this a normal parent thing? Is this a normal parent thing for us to like love our kids and even love like our friends&#39; kids or people who are like kids in our life? But when like a stranger&#39;s kid does something totally benign, we&#39;re just like, get away from me. Why are you talking to me? Or am I a horrible person? SPEAKER_00: 2:04 Or both. I mean, that is a foregone conclusion. I talk shit about my kids all the time. I, in particular, one of them, I won&#39;t say which, I throw under the bus an awful lot. I mean, okay, it&#39;s my daughter. She&#39;s wonderful, she&#39;s kind, she is smart, she&#39;s all the things that actually matter, but I will absolutely be like, oh my god, if you would just change your attitude. And um, I mean, I had a lot of shit talking to do about my kids, without a doubt. But when it comes down to it, I don&#39;t want to trade them in for anybody else&#39;s kids. Not your kids, David. No offense. I&#39;m sure that your kids aren&#39;t as cool as mine, in my view, even though I talk shit about them constantly. David: 2:41 Yeah, other kids are so fucking annoying. Do you know when our um dads of the year mugs arrive? Or do you know when they&#39;re arriving? Because we just started this episode with like kids for other people&#39;s kids fucking suck. Fuck those kids. SPEAKER_00: 2:54 Let&#39;s be honest, kids ruin everything and they&#39;re assholes. I did one time, I saw a dude with a t-shirt that I it was one of those times that I stopped him and said, Can I please take a picture of your shirt? Because it said world&#39;s okayest dad. David: 3:07 Yeah. Yeah. Relatable. That&#39;s a yeah, that&#39;s a relatable thing. Um, also, what&#39;s very relatable and super embarrassing is I am now entering the phase. My son is three and a half. We are now entering the phase of me getting told on, um, and I wasn&#39;t prepared. Oh I wasn&#39;t prepared. Um, I drive the kids to school in the morning and I drop them off um by myself. And I am a verbal driver. Let&#39;s say that. I am get out of my way. What are you doing? Why are you such an idiot? You know, I&#39;m I&#39;m just a typical Jersey driver. And my husband, for whatever reason, had to drop off the kids by himself the other day. And he comes home and he goes, Do you know what your son said today? And I said, No. He goes, A woman wasn&#39;t like the the light had turned green, and the woman wasn&#39;t going. And Emmett from the backseat goes, You can go, boo-boo. And my husband was like, Where did he learn that? And I was like, Oh fuck. Now, whenever I say something in the presence of my kids, I have to worry that it gets back to my husband. So, like, secrets are secrets are out. Like, there&#39;s no there&#39;s no like, hey, let&#39;s not talk about how daddy did like a pre-dinner drive-thru at Wendy&#39;s just to take the edge off because it&#39;s gonna like I&#39;m gonna get told on. So I&#39;m in a new phase and I don&#39;t know how I feel about it. SPEAKER_00: 4:26 Uh yeah, I there have been a few instances where I don&#39;t I don&#39;t know that I&#39;ve actually said, please don&#39;t say anything to your other dad about this. Uh, but there have been times that I thought, oh God, this is gonna come back to bite me in the ass, that&#39;s for sure, just on the home front. David: 4:42 We still have the baby, so that&#39;s good. I can still tell her secrets, I can still do embarrassing things in front of her, but you know, my time&#39;s out with Emmett. Absolutely, you&#39;re done there. SPEAKER_00: 4:49 You&#39;re done. So something that&#39;s driving me crazy recently is uh this morning I was having a perfectly lovely conversation as I was driving my kid to the bus, uh, my older daughter, who&#39;s 11. And we had been having a good morning. Everything was good. Like, I got her up in time, I fed the animals uh because I knew she was running a little behind. And she was like, Oh, thanks for doing that for me, daddy. David: 5:08 When you say you fed the animals, do you mean you fed your children? SPEAKER_00: 5:12 Plus the dog and the cat. Got it. And she said, Oh, I forgot it&#39;s Friday, you&#39;re doing that for me. And I&#39;m like, No, it&#39;s because I got you up too late. And I was the one laying in bed looking at my phone and realized, oh god, I&#39;ve woken her up in that past the window of idealism. Anyway, so we&#39;re in the car, we&#39;re driving, and she said, Oh, Daddy, I want to show you this thing. She pulls out her phone and I&#39;m like, Oh, something to buy? She&#39;s like, never mind, you don&#39;t even need to see it. I&#39;m like, no, no, please tell me. Is it something? What do you want, what do you want to show me? Yes, it&#39;s this new skincare thing that&#39;s totally trending. And I&#39;m like, oh my god, can we just have one morning where we&#39;re not talking about buying shit? Because, oh my goodness, let me tell you, when you get to those consumerist years, may you not have TikTok in just a few years uh when your kids are old enough to be told by the entire capitalist hegemony of um, you know, rapacious capitalism. I understood three of those ten words. You&#39;re welcome. It&#39;s let me tell you, it&#39;s uh I mean, just crazy capitalism gets their claws in you. And I think it is kind of a genetic trait, I admit. I was a big old consumer when I was a kid and I just wanted to buy shit all the time. But that was based upon the Saturday morning cartoons I was watching back in the world. David: 6:23 But that&#39;s her TikTok now. SPEAKER_00: 6:24 That&#39;s her TikTok. David: 6:25 And also, don&#39;t you run a company where you sell shit to people? SPEAKER_00: 6:30 Where I sell overpriced, unnecessary items that nobody actually needs in their lives. Yes, but it&#39;s high quality that&#39;ll last you for years. The title of this episode is We Are Hypocrites. Brought to you and sponsored by EC Nox, baby gear for stylish dads. So, going back to what my kid wanted to show me as I shut her down and crushed her spirit on this morning, she wanted to show me more about her skincare routine. I&#39;m gonna be talking about this for a while. My kid, of course, is 11 and she has flawless skin, but do you realize that there is an entire market out there that is catering or rather preying on 11-year-old children who think that they need to use skincare products? And I&#39;m like, sweetie, you have perfect skin. You don&#39;t need to worry about this. And she&#39;s like, but dad, it&#39;s not about that. It&#39;s so that my skin remains flawless. And I&#39;m like, right, so that you don&#39;t look like me in 40 years. I get it, but I don&#39;t think you needed to start using skincare, which by the way, is not um sunscreen. I mean, and also, far be for me to suggest she put some sunscreen on, because this is the only skincare you actually need. I have checked that out with a friend of mine who is a dermatologist, and she&#39;s like, it&#39;s all bullshit. Just get luperderm and skin and um sunscreen. That&#39;s all you need, is just like a little bit of hydration and mainly sunscreen. But oh no, you think drunk elephant? Do you know the name drunk elephant? No. Do you know it&#39;s it&#39;s the latest thing on TikTok, and it&#39;s they&#39;ve got very, very funny Instagram posts. But drunk elephant is this overpriced, bougie skincare preying on my 11-year-old child. And is it anything about um sunscreen? Hell no. Is it all about absurd serums and moistures? I&#39;m like, Allison, oh my god, you were 11 years old. You do not need eye serums. David: 8:18 Also, think about like the stupid bullshit we adults put on our face. I think about like those Korean face masks, which I yeah, for sure put on my face. And you have this like disfigured panda like laying on top of your skin. You look like a marking serial killer, and we&#39;re like, oh yeah, it&#39;s it&#39;s the newest trend from Korea. Like, we are we are exactly what your daughter is. She&#39;s just yeah, she just happens to have the good skin still. And it probably is a little hurtful for her to be like, yeah, but dad, I don&#39;t want to look like you. SPEAKER_00: 8:48 Yep. Yep. Yep. Is it hurtful? I&#39;m I&#39;m now used to it because she&#39;s crushed my soul enough over the last few years that it&#39;s fine. I I was probably soulless to begin with, right? But yeah, but I&#39;m all about you know what I&#39;m all about looking like a panda on a Saturday night watching movies. I think that&#39;s fun. David: 9:06 A giant goblet of wine, a disgusting disfigured panda laying atop your face. SPEAKER_00: 9:13 And when you peel it off, it does feel refreshing. It does. I love the I love it. I think it&#39;s fun. But um, and we went through a phase of buying those cheap ass, probably not bougie Korean face masks at Target. Um, and then uh my daughter broke out because of one. I mean, she got a full rash on her face, and so luckily we don&#39;t now we don&#39;t waste our money on things that cost$3.99. She is pining away for things that cost$399 instead, you know? Good thing you&#39;re really rich. David: 9:47 Listen, all that sweet Gateriarch&#39;s money is pouring in, so you got to buy all the Korean face masks you want. So, thank you notes. Do you do them? Yes, and by you, you mean my husband does 95% of them, and I&#39;m like, oh, I&#39;ll I&#39;ll put stamps on them and address them. And he&#39;s like, and then I&#39;m like, we did thank you notes, didn&#39;t we? He&#39;s like, no. But yeah, he is he&#39;s a big believer in thank you notes, and I I get a little thank you notes can feel a little oppressive. Like, like somebody was like, hey, I&#39;ll drive you to the airport. It&#39;s like, do they need a thank you note? But my husband is a thank you noter. Like we buy them in bulk at Costco, no joke. And then he writes them for everything. So yeah, we&#39;re a thank you note family. SPEAKER_00: 10:30 Well, that&#39;s pretty extreme. I mean, I think it&#39;s appreciated, and I think it&#39;s a lot of thought and action that counts. Uh ride to the airport, I&#39;m not sure that I necessarily would give a thank you note for that. I think dinners are um it&#39;s an appreciated thing. But I do force my kids to write thank you notes for Christmas and for a birthday. For sure. Yeah, we do too. And I&#39;ve been able to say to them, listen, you gotta thank them and show some gratitude, or they won&#39;t buy for you next year. I&#39;m not sure if that&#39;s actually even true. And the percentage of people who actually send me a thank you note, I mean, far be it for me to sound uh morally superior to anybody I am, but the percentage of people who actually send anything is very, very small, right? But it is not about the torture I&#39;m inflicting upon my kids to do it. Now it&#39;s an expectation, they just do it and they get over with, and they put in, I mean, you want to talk about a half-assed thank you note, it&#39;s almost embarrassing what they&#39;re sending. I mean, I&#39;m lucky if I get a pencil scrawled chicken scratch that says thanks for the shirt. But I grew up doing it, my mom forced me to do it, and um, and I think it&#39;s it&#39;s it it&#39;s it&#39;s a c it&#39;s a personal interhuman connection that you make with the person who thought enough to send you something in this world where we&#39;re increasingly disconnected and don&#39;t think shit about anybody. And um, but also, and this is probably probably part of a much larger topic that I could talk about for hours and plan to for the next two years of our first two seasons of Daytriarch, and then I&#39;ll find something else for the next ten seasons. But it&#39;s all about gratitude. I just feel like I just want my kids to appreciate what incredibly lucky lives they live um in our um tiny house with really low ceilings. And no mom. And no mom. David: 12:13 You know, we who so I saw a TikTok trend and it actually made because I I uh the the I the idea of thank you notes, love it. Love it. Love a thank you note, think it&#39;s sweet, it&#39;s it&#39;s romantic, it&#39;s old school. But doing them, writing like 20 for Christmas is so exhausting. But I saw a TikTok trend which was really great, which was you kind of open like all the cards out on a table, and then you just give your kids crayons and markers and just let them go fucking bananas, and then you swoop in at the end, be like, hey, a little artwork from the kids, thank you so much, blah blah blah blah. And it doesn&#39;t need to look good, it&#39;s just chaos of colors. But for them, it feels like super, like super personal and and super cool and fun. And for the kids, it&#39;s you know, it&#39;s it&#39;s killing 30 minutes, which is the name of the game. Absolutely. SPEAKER_00: 13:00 Now I will say, I admit, just this week I was feeling morally superior and texted a friend of mine from uh early preschool days who we commiserated about how important thank you notes are and looked down our noses at those who didn&#39;t send them. Occasionally we send each other a text to just um you know revel in our superiority. And uh, but uh just this week I saw an article I in some newspaper that was about how thank you notes are actually super oppressive and they are a sign of incredible privilege, and uh we need and and they&#39;re performative, and it&#39;s almost showing off like your moral superiority. And it did give me pause a little bit. Of course, the article it was it was a blog piece, and um it&#39;s a bastion, it&#39;s saying it&#39;s a bastion of old school Martha Stewart, no, Donna Reed white privilege from the 1950s, right? Of um etiquette and whatnot, and that it&#39;s uh it&#39;s an absurd performative display of privilege. And uh, but at the same time, it did say, listen, if it makes you feel good...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week’s show starts off with David telling us how he feels about other people’s kids, we talk about consumerism, and our guest this week is Becky with the good hair, Mike Lubin, who created one of NYC’s first gay Dad’s meet up groups. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 My partner was asking me what computer are you gonna get, and uh I was like, I just I honestly I need the basics, the bare minimum. I just need to be able to do email and porn. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 Okay, so you know those clay places that are indoor, like there&#39;s slides and ball pits, and you know, they host kids&#39; birthday parties and and petri dishes of diseases. Correct, and there&#39;s shit everywhere. Um so there&#39;s one by us, and we go there, you know, once a month, maybe. We we we you know, it&#39;s fun, it&#39;s expensive, right? It costs like 50, 60 bucks for all four of us to go every time. So, but it&#39;s a lot of fun. Um I realized something this weekend when we were there was I hate other people&#39;s kids. And I was like, yeah, and the ri and and then it came to my mind because I was sitting in the ball pit with my son and my daughter, and they were having fun, they were throwing balls, and there&#39;s other kids kind of throwing balls or whatever. And this cute little girl, three, four, somewhere around there, kind of walked over to me and she had like a ball, and she goes, Look! And she like threw the ball towards like the pit that all the kids were throwing in. And my first instinct, honestly, was like, Why the fuck are you talking to me? And I&#39;m like, why do I have such a visceral reaction to other children talking to me? And I was just like, anytime a kid there did something I didn&#39;t like, they&#39;d cut in front of someone, they push somebody down, they sneeze with their you know mouth open or whatever it is. I was like, oh, these disgusting vermin. When my kids do it, I&#39;m like, yeah, kids will be kids, right? And I was like, what a what first of all? Obviously, I&#39;m a hypocrite. I&#39;m a hypocrite in life, but I was just thinking, is this a normal parent thing? Is this a normal parent thing for us to like love our kids and even love like our friends&#39; kids or people who are like kids in our life? But when like a stranger&#39;s kid does something totally benign, we&#39;re just like, get away from me. Why are you talking to me? Or am I a horrible person? SPEAKER_00: 2:04 Or both. I mean, that is a foregone conclusion. I talk shit about my kids all the time. I, in particular, one of them, I won&#39;t say which, I throw under the bus an awful lot. I mean, okay, it&#39;s my daughter. She&#39;s wonderful, she&#39;s kind, she is smart, she&#39;s all the things that actually matter, but I will absolutely be like, oh my god, if you would just change your attitude. And um, I mean, I had a lot of shit talking to do about my kids, without a doubt. But when it comes down to it, I don&#39;t want to trade them in for anybody else&#39;s kids. Not your kids, David. No offense. I&#39;m sure that your kids aren&#39;t as cool as mine, in my view, even though I talk shit about them constantly. David: 2:41 Yeah, other kids are so fucking annoying. Do you know when our um dads of the year mugs arrive? Or do you know when they&#39;re arriving? Because we just started this episode with like kids for other people&#39;s kids fucking suck. Fuck those kids. SPEAKER_00: 2:54 Let&#39;s be honest, kids ruin everything and they&#39;re assholes. I did one time, I saw a dude with a t-shirt that I it was one of those times that I stopped him and said, Can I please take a picture of your shirt? Because it said world&#39;s okayest dad. David: 3:07 Yeah. Yeah. Relatable. That&]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week’s show starts off with David telling us how he feels about other people’s kids, we talk about consumerism, and our guest this week is Becky with the good hair, Mike Lubin, who created one of NYC’s first gay Dad’s meet up groups. Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_00: 0:00 My partner was asking me what computer are you gonna get, and uh I was like, I just I honestly I need the basics, the bare minimum. I just need to be able to do email and porn. And this is Gatriarchs. David: 0:22 Okay, so you know those clay places that are indoor, like there&#39;s slides and ball pits, and you know, they host kids&#39; birthday parties and and petri dishes of diseases. Correct, and there&#39;s shit everywhere. Um so there&#39;s one by us, and w]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Beth Wolfsong</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-beth-wolfsong/</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about kindness, especially as it relates to Wendy’s, gender roles in gay parenting, and we speak with a real life Elle Woods, Beth Wolfsong, and chat about gay parenting’s legal ramifications.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And she lives in Portland, Oregon. She owns her own lawyer place. Gavin: 0:10 What is law firm? David: 0:13 I&#39;ve watched Legally Blonde enough you think I know how to say law firm. And this is Gatriarchs. And I was thinking, you can&#39;t be mean to Alexa. Like, but but why not? Right? Because I realized that we yell at her the same way. If she does something wrong, we&#39;re like, turn the volume up. Like we are mad at her. And he&#39;s emulating that. And I was like, oh shit. Do I have to watch how I talk to the robots in my house? Gavin: 1:11 Oh, they really do. I mean, of course they&#39;re listening to us all the time. They mean the kids and obviously the robots. But does she ever talk back to you or talk back to your kids? David: 1:21 Do you know what I discovered the other day? I went into the bedroom and it&#39;s next to my kids&#39; bedroom. So I didn&#39;t want to be loud because they were sleeping. So I kind of whispered. I was like, hey, Alexa, turn on the bedroom lights. And her response was okay. It was terrifying. The fact that she mimicked my whisper to me, but as a robot. But anyway, so I was just thinking about kindness because I I feel like we are kind people. You and I, this is why we get along. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re whoever we are, but like we&#39;re inherently, I think, good people and kind people. Gavin: 1:59 But also, and also bitchy though, like bitchy at the right time and critical and judgmental at the right time. David: 2:05 Horrible, but nice. But kind. Um, and I was thinking about there are certain kinds of kindness that really make me want to walk into traffic. And and I was thinking about this at Wendy&#39;s. Hold on, the story will make sense. Okay. So I was at Wendy&#39;s for the eighth time this week. And there&#39;s yeah, there&#39;s a guy who works at Wendy&#39;s, nice guy, and he&#39;s the one who takes the money. He&#39;s the first window. And every time I see him, he goes, Hey, how you doing? I say, Good. I hand him my card. He looks back, he&#39;s like, having a good day? I said, Yeah. He does the thing, he gives me my receipt. He goes, Did I make your day better? I said, Yeah, I yeah, I guess. He was like, Good, because that&#39;s what I want to do. Make your day better, okay? And he gives me a big thumbs up. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna run this car into the building now. And I&#39;m like, why do I feel why do I feel such anger at this man who&#39;s trying to be kind? Gavin: 2:59 And yes, you he brings out the unkindness in you through his just oh I mean, it&#39;s a little burdensome, frankly, to to ask him to he has no idea how your day is going. I mean, maybe you just like ran over a squirrel and you feel terrible, but he&#39;s not somebody you know, so you&#39;re not gonna respond to him and say, actually, I&#39;m having a really terrible day. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m just trying to get my burger for the eighth time this week. Don&#39;t you already know me? You should know that I&#39;m pretty consistently like crabby and haggard. David: 3:26 What I really want to say to him or somebody like that is like when he&#39;s like, Hey, how you doing? Be like, I shed a little bit of blood this morning, kind of worried, can go see my gastroenterologist. And uh, yeah, my uh my bank cold, and I think we&#39;re gonna lose the house. And you know, my kids, my kid&#39;s grandmother just died, and um, and it just like lay everything I can on him, just really lay it in on him and and start crying, maybe, and and ask for a hug and see see how that works. Gavin: 3:50 My grandmother was a really kind of what do I don&#39;t want to call her a salty broad, but yet I kind of want to call her a salty broad. Like she was a very intellectual person who kind of like you think of her as like having a cigarette and a wise crack all the time. And um, she couldn&#39;t abide people&#39;s insincere efforts at saying, How&#39;s your day going? kind of thing. And I remember um she was proud of the fact that when somebody would say, Hey, have a great day, she would turn to them and say, I just may decide not to. And she wasn&#39;t a mean person, she really wasn&#39;t. Um, but she was, you know, salty and sh and she just couldn&#39;t abide that. You know, that those that&#39;s where you get your salt content from. I&#39;m much less salty than she ever was, that&#39;s for sure. But I don&#39;t know. When you see when you&#39;re just in passing with people and you&#39;re just moving by, I a smile and an acknowledgement of your existence is kind of all I need, and all I really want to give too, because we&#39;re just trying to get by with our days, you know? David: 4:49 And and also the thing I want to explain. So there&#39;s a two venues that do this consistently. One is Wendy&#39;s. Listen, Godspeed. You have somebody, oh, person who works at Wendy&#39;s and is happy with their life. But B, at Wells Fargo. So I do some banking at Wells Fargo. Gavin: 5:02 This is not a plug for Wells Fargo. Allah&#39;s not a big thing. David: 5:04 No, unless you guys start to sponsor us, then you know what? We love Wells Fargo. But I do a lot of uh transactions in the bank, and they are clearly they have a corporate mandate to ask like six questions. And this is how every experience at Wells Fargo goes. Hey, how you doing today? Great, I want to make a deposit. I hand them my cash. So like, great. Day going well. Yes, thank you. And then the follow-up question, not working today. I yeah, I I I just I&#39;m I just doing the transaction. Pretty crazy weather outside, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is non-stop questions where I just want to grab them by their cheeks and pull them really close and whisper this relationship is just about the this money transaction. I appreciate how you&#39;re doing, but I want you to say how you&#39;re doing. I want to say good, and I want that to be the end of our personal conversation until it&#39;s have a great day, and I walk out. I love you, you love me, let&#39;s not make this more than it is. Gavin: 6:05 Now we&#39;re both Northeasterners, but we both grew up outside of the Northeast. I grew up in Colorado where people are very, very smiley when they say, Do you want some fries with that? But I don&#39;t find it burdensome. I mean, going back there after living in New York City for so long, sometimes I would look over my shoulder and think, What do you want from me? Why do why are you smiling? David: 6:22 That&#39;s what it is. It&#39;s what do you want from me? Why do I have to be involved in this? If it was just fake kindness that didn&#39;t involve me, fine, be fake around me. But it&#39;s like, hey, no work today. It&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to talk about my work to you. Or what do we what is this thing? I grew up in the South and it&#39;s all it&#39;s all veneer, but it doesn&#39;t require a lot from you. It&#39;s like, oh, bless your heart, right? And we know what that means. Right. But I bring this up because our kids, right? We have back to the kids, back to the kids. Back to the whole fucking point. Um, we have we both have two kids, and I think part of our jobs as parents is like, how do we like instill kindness? Or is that even possible, right? Can we increase the likelihood that we will have kind kids or they will act kindly? Or is it just like they would can we model it, or is it just like inherent? Like we either get good kids or or shitboxes. Gavin: 7:11 I mean, I think so much of is it like all parenting is that we have to model it and they have to hopefully they will model our kindness, you know. I mean, I think that asshole people have asshole kids generally. I mean, I can totally spot that. If there&#39;s an asshole kid, I&#39;m like, uh, it&#39;s probably a reflection of their parents, frankly. But um, it also makes me think when I ever think about kindness, I don&#39;t know necessarily what the answer is to bringing about kindness in your in your kids. But I do know that whenever I get in a tizzy, because in we&#39;re in, you know, hyper competitive mode on the playground where you hear that this kid&#39;s already studying algebra and this kid&#39;s already swimming a 200-meter individual medley relay or whatever, or this kid is um, you know, getting tutored to this, and you&#39;re like, oh my god, my kid&#39;s never gonna be in Harvard and they probably can&#39;t even swim two laps and whatever. And then you th you have to just dial it down and think, I just want my kid to be kind. Just just be nice, just be kind. Because being able to swim or being able to do algebra or being able to go to Harvard doesn&#39;t necessarily mean you&#39;re gonna be a happy person. And we just want our kids to be happy. Who cares what their career path is? They want we want to be happy. And I think kindness is a great uh uh moderator of what your happiness level is. David: 8:21 I think. But Gavin, according to your logic, if your kids do something assholery, does that mean you&#39;re to blame? Gavin: 8:29 I mean, I&#39;m a kind person, but I can be an asshole sometimes for sure. So I Oh see, that&#39;s the that&#39;s the time I would toss it to my husband. David: 8:36 I was like, oh no, when my kids are assholes, it&#39;s my husband&#39;s fault. Um we&#39;re gonna go with that. But just remember, Elle Woods got into Harvard and nobody thought she would. Gavin: 8:46 That&#39;s that&#39;s true. That&#39;s true. That I mean, she exceeded expectations, but Elle Woods is a kind person, isn&#39;t she? David: 8:53 I mean, she&#39;s a little self-obsessed and you know, no, I think she&#39;s kind. Listen, what this could be a legally blonde fan cast for a hundred episodes. I&#39;m okay with that. But yeah, but but but no, El Elle Woods had the capacity for kindness, but didn&#39;t need to use it in the beginning because she was rich and beautiful. Yeah, that&#39;s true. And then she learned, she&#39;s like, I&#39;m so much more powerful beyond this. Anyway, let&#39;s not talk about that. Let&#39;s talk about um parents and being gay parents and how we are two men who are raising children. Gay Ven, who&#39;s the mom? I mean how many times a day do you get that question? Yeah&#39;s the mom, who&#39;s the mom, who&#39;s the mom at home, who&#39;s the mom in bed, who&#39;s the mom with the kids? Yep. There&#39;s no mom people. That&#39;s the point of being gay. Gavin: 9:36 And also when you&#39;re outside and people say to you, Oh, is it mom&#39;s day off? And um that that is something that all gay parents go through, and we all post about it on Facebook, and we all get super self-righteous about it, and we get so pissed that um somebody assumed that one, um, we are married to a woman, or rather, the you know, the other parent of the kid is a woman, and two, that um we&#39;re trying to do somebody a favor by, you know, doing our own parenting responsibilities. But yes, the gender uh roles are really uh it&#39;s really ingrained in us. It&#39;s in our genetic makeup to assume that there will be somebody who does the mom part and somebody who does the dad part. And our superpower, our gay superpower, I&#39;m definitely taking that from you, is that we have to do it all. Um I mean, often I feel like the mom, I feel like the mom and the man in my relationship. And then sometimes I feel like the dad and the wait, what what&#39;s I I&#39;ve lost point of my. You&#39;re getting lost in your own metaphor, boo-boo. But there was one time preserver. There was there was one time that um my partner and I were having a you know a little bit of a parenting spat. I made some demand of his, like, why can&#39;t you do more of this? Or why can&#39;t you do more of that? And he said to me, It&#39;s because I&#39;m like the gay uncle. I was like, oh no, you didn&#39;t. David: 10:54 He&#39;s never said that again. Yeah, you you made sure of that. But that but when I say gay superpower, what I mean is that like we as gay people from the outset have to talk things out before we do things. Where there is no kind of there are no existing lanes that we could just default to. And that starts, listen, if I&#39;m gonna go blue, it starts with sex. Totally. There is a default assumption when two a man and a woman go to bed, what is going to physically happen. When two men go to bed together, there has to be some sort of discussion because there is no default, right? And I think that goes all as as silly as that sounds, it goes all the way up to parenting, where I feel like if nobody said anything, there is a somewhat default nature to who does what in a heterosexual parent parenthood. But for two men who when you say the mom things and the dad things, first of all, we uh uh inevitably get to kind of misogyny, right? Of like, this is what the woman does. Totally. But who does, who picks up the kids, who is maybe uh more of the taskmaster, who spends more time at work, who is the one who cuddles them to bed, who is the one who buys the groceries and cooks the food and does there&#39;s all of these things that there is no default for. So when two men start raising babies, all of a sudden these tasks are are moved around, and then that question comes up of like, who&#39;s the mom? And then as you know, it&#39;s hard to define because when I think about our our our family structure, my husband is probably more than nine to fiver worker, and I have more time. So when kids are sick or they need to pick up and drop off cooking food, I do that stuff. So am I the mom? Right, but then there&#39;s other things that it it flips and flops. So that whole like vernacular of who&#39;s the mom is so fucking stupid, yeah, so misogynistic. It is so we don&#39;t need to use that, but it but it comes up all the time. People ask us all the time. Gavin: 12:48 And people, especially when they&#39;re curious and genuinely curious, they they love us, they they support us, et cetera, et cetera, and they might be making the joke like so who&#39;s the mom? It one, it I really think that there is inherent misogyny in there because it&#39;s kind of like who&#39;s the sub I subservient one, who&#39;s the one stuck home, who&#39;s the one uh picking up after everything else, and therefore less important than the one out making the money, I suppose. David: 13:12 So that&#39;s what I mean is that there&#39;s this inherent misogyny, even in how I feel like uh we as gay people kind of treat uh sex in a way. I keep going to sex, am I like super horny today? What&#39;s going on? But when we talk about like it is Thursday, I feel like it is Thursday, uh sexy Thursday, I believe is what they call it. But but when I think there is an inherent kind of um uh more negative view towards gay men who bottom than top. And it is rooted in misogyny in that like if you are the one receiving, yeah, if you are the one who is doing the woman thing, then you are inherently less valuable or less respected than the man. And it is so we do this as gay men, right? We we we there is that tone in I think in in the gay world, and and I hate that for us, right? Like, but I want in parenting, it just it can&#39;t exist because we can&#39;t maybe some gay couples do divide the worlds exactly how they&#39;re traditionally done in heterosexual land, but it&#39;s I don&#39;t think it&#39;s possible as two men to do that, which I...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[This week, we talk about kindness, especially as it relates to Wendy’s, gender roles in gay parenting, and we speak with a real life Elle Woods, Beth Wolfsong, and chat about gay parenting’s legal ramifications.  Thanks for listening, please leave a revi]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[This week, we talk about kindness, especially as it relates to Wendy’s, gender roles in gay parenting, and we speak with a real life Elle Woods, Beth Wolfsong, and chat about gay parenting’s legal ramifications.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And she lives in Portland, Oregon. She owns her own lawyer place. Gavin: 0:10 What is law firm? David: 0:13 I&#39;ve watched Legally Blonde enough you think I know how to say law firm. And this is Gatriarchs. And I was thinking, you can&#39;t be mean to Alexa. Like, but but why not? Right? Because I realized that we yell at her the same way. If she does something wrong, we&#39;re like, turn the volume up. Like we are mad at her. And he&#39;s emulating that. And I was like, oh shit. Do I have to watch how I talk to the robots in my house? Gavin: 1:11 Oh, they really do. I mean, of course they&#39;re listening to us all the time. They mean the kids and obviously the robots. But does she ever talk back to you or talk back to your kids? David: 1:21 Do you know what I discovered the other day? I went into the bedroom and it&#39;s next to my kids&#39; bedroom. So I didn&#39;t want to be loud because they were sleeping. So I kind of whispered. I was like, hey, Alexa, turn on the bedroom lights. And her response was okay. It was terrifying. The fact that she mimicked my whisper to me, but as a robot. But anyway, so I was just thinking about kindness because I I feel like we are kind people. You and I, this is why we get along. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re whoever we are, but like we&#39;re inherently, I think, good people and kind people. Gavin: 1:59 But also, and also bitchy though, like bitchy at the right time and critical and judgmental at the right time. David: 2:05 Horrible, but nice. But kind. Um, and I was thinking about there are certain kinds of kindness that really make me want to walk into traffic. And and I was thinking about this at Wendy&#39;s. Hold on, the story will make sense. Okay. So I was at Wendy&#39;s for the eighth time this week. And there&#39;s yeah, there&#39;s a guy who works at Wendy&#39;s, nice guy, and he&#39;s the one who takes the money. He&#39;s the first window. And every time I see him, he goes, Hey, how you doing? I say, Good. I hand him my card. He looks back, he&#39;s like, having a good day? I said, Yeah. He does the thing, he gives me my receipt. He goes, Did I make your day better? I said, Yeah, I yeah, I guess. He was like, Good, because that&#39;s what I want to do. Make your day better, okay? And he gives me a big thumbs up. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna run this car into the building now. And I&#39;m like, why do I feel why do I feel such anger at this man who&#39;s trying to be kind? Gavin: 2:59 And yes, you he brings out the unkindness in you through his just oh I mean, it&#39;s a little burdensome, frankly, to to ask him to he has no idea how your day is going. I mean, maybe you just like ran over a squirrel and you feel terrible, but he&#39;s not somebody you know, so you&#39;re not gonna respond to him and say, actually, I&#39;m having a really terrible day. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m just trying to get my burger for the eighth time this week. Don&#39;t you already know me? You should know that I&#39;m pretty consistently like crabby and haggard. David: 3:26 What I really want to say to him or somebody like that is like when he&#39;s like, Hey, how you doing? Be like, I shed a little bit of blood this morning, kind of worried, can go see my gastroenterologist. And uh, yeah, my uh my bank cold, and I think we&#39;re gonna lose the house. And you know, my kids, my kid&#39;s grandmother just died, and um, and it just like lay everything I can on him, just really lay it in on him and and start crying, maybe, and and ask for a hug and see see how that works. Gavin: 3:50 My grandmother was a really kind of what do I don&#39;t want to call her a salty broad, but yet I kind of want to call her a salty broad. Like she was a very intellectual person who kind of like you think of her as like having a cigarette and a wise crack all the time. And um, she couldn&#39;t abide people&#39;s insincere efforts at saying, How&#39;s your day going? kind of thing. And I remember um she was proud of the fact that when somebody would say, Hey, have a great day, she would turn to them and say, I just may decide not to. And she wasn&#39;t a mean person, she really wasn&#39;t. Um, but she was, you know, salty and sh and she just couldn&#39;t abide that. You know, that those that&#39;s where you get your salt content from. I&#39;m much less salty than she ever was, that&#39;s for sure. But I don&#39;t know. When you see when you&#39;re just in passing with people and you&#39;re just moving by, I a smile and an acknowledgement of your existence is kind of all I need, and all I really want to give too, because we&#39;re just trying to get by with our days, you know? David: 4:49 And and also the thing I want to explain. So there&#39;s a two venues that do this consistently. One is Wendy&#39;s. Listen, Godspeed. You have somebody, oh, person who works at Wendy&#39;s and is happy with their life. But B, at Wells Fargo. So I do some banking at Wells Fargo. Gavin: 5:02 This is not a plug for Wells Fargo. Allah&#39;s not a big thing. David: 5:04 No, unless you guys start to sponsor us, then you know what? We love Wells Fargo. But I do a lot of uh transactions in the bank, and they are clearly they have a corporate mandate to ask like six questions. And this is how every experience at Wells Fargo goes. Hey, how you doing today? Great, I want to make a deposit. I hand them my cash. So like, great. Day going well. Yes, thank you. And then the follow-up question, not working today. I yeah, I I I just I&#39;m I just doing the transaction. Pretty crazy weather outside, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is non-stop questions where I just want to grab them by their cheeks and pull them really close and whisper this relationship is just about the this money transaction. I appreciate how you&#39;re doing, but I want you to say how you&#39;re doing. I want to say good, and I want that to be the end of our personal conversation until it&#39;s have a great day, and I walk out. I love you, you love me, let&#39;s not make this more than it is. Gavin: 6:05 Now we&#39;re both Northeasterners, but we both grew up outside of the Northeast. I grew up in Colorado where people are very, very smiley when they say, Do you want some fries with that? But I don&#39;t find it burdensome. I mean, going back there after living in New York City for so long, sometimes I would look over my shoulder and think, What do you want from me? Why do why are you smiling? David: 6:22 That&#39;s what it is. It&#39;s what do you want from me? Why do I have to be involved in this? If it was just fake kindness that didn&#39;t involve me, fine, be fake around me. But it&#39;s like, hey, no work today. It&#39;s like, I don&#39;t want to talk about my work to you. Or what do we what is this thing? I grew up in the South and it&#39;s all it&#39;s all veneer, but it doesn&#39;t require a lot from you. It&#39;s like, oh, bless your heart, right? And we know what that means. Right. But I bring this up because our kids, right? We have back to the kids, back to the kids. Back to the whole fucking point. Um, we have we both have two kids, and I think part of our jobs as parents is like, how do we like instill kindness? Or is that even possible, right? Can we increase the likelihood that we will have kind kids or they will act kindly? Or is it just like they would can we model it, or is it just like inherent? Like we either get good kids or or shitboxes. Gavin: 7:11 I mean, I think so much of is it like all parenting is that we have to model it and they have to hopefully they will model our kindness, you know. I mean, I think that asshole people have asshole kids generally. I mean, I can totally spot that. If there&#39;s an asshole kid, I&#39;m like, uh, it&#39;s probably a reflection of their parents, frankly. But um, it also makes me think when I ever think about kindness, I don&#39;t know necessarily what the answer is to bringing about kindness in your in your kids. But I do know that whenever I get in a tizzy, because in we&#39;re in, you know, hyper competitive mode on the playground where you hear that this kid&#39;s already studying algebra and this kid&#39;s already swimming a 200-meter individual medley relay or whatever, or this kid is um, you know, getting tutored to this, and you&#39;re like, oh my god, my kid&#39;s never gonna be in Harvard and they probably can&#39;t even swim two laps and whatever. And then you th you have to just dial it down and think, I just want my kid to be kind. Just just be nice, just be kind. Because being able to swim or being able to do algebra or being able to go to Harvard doesn&#39;t necessarily mean you&#39;re gonna be a happy person. And we just want our kids to be happy. Who cares what their career path is? They want we want to be happy. And I think kindness is a great uh uh moderator of what your happiness level is. David: 8:21 I think. But Gavin, according to your logic, if your kids do something assholery, does that mean you&#39;re to blame? Gavin: 8:29 I mean, I&#39;m a kind person, but I can be an asshole sometimes for sure. So I Oh see, that&#39;s the that&#39;s the time I would toss it to my husband. David: 8:36 I was like, oh no, when my kids are assholes, it&#39;s my husband&#39;s fault. Um we&#39;re gonna go with that. But just remember, Elle Woods got into Harvard and nobody thought she would. Gavin: 8:46 That&#39;s that&#39;s true. That&#39;s true. That I mean, she exceeded expectations, but Elle Woods is a kind person, isn&#39;t she? David: 8:53 I mean, she&#39;s a little self-obsessed and you know, no, I think she&#39;s kind. Listen, what this could be a legally blonde fan cast for a hundred episodes. I&#39;m okay with that. But yeah, but but but no, El Elle Woods had the capacity for kindness, but didn&#39;t need to use it in the beginning because she was rich and beautiful. Yeah, that&#39;s true. And then she learned, she&#39;s like, I&#39;m so much more powerful beyond this. Anyway, let&#39;s not talk about that. Let&#39;s talk about um parents and being gay parents and how we are two men who are raising children. Gay Ven, who&#39;s the mom? I mean how many times a day do you get that question? Yeah&#39;s the mom, who&#39;s the mom, who&#39;s the mom at home, who&#39;s the mom in bed, who&#39;s the mom with the kids? Yep. There&#39;s no mom people. That&#39;s the point of being gay. Gavin: 9:36 And also when you&#39;re outside and people say to you, Oh, is it mom&#39;s day off? And um that that is something that all gay parents go through, and we all post about it on Facebook, and we all get super self-righteous about it, and we get so pissed that um somebody assumed that one, um, we are married to a woman, or rather, the you know, the other parent of the kid is a woman, and two, that um we&#39;re trying to do somebody a favor by, you know, doing our own parenting responsibilities. But yes, the gender uh roles are really uh it&#39;s really ingrained in us. It&#39;s in our genetic makeup to assume that there will be somebody who does the mom part and somebody who does the dad part. And our superpower, our gay superpower, I&#39;m definitely taking that from you, is that we have to do it all. Um I mean, often I feel like the mom, I feel like the mom and the man in my relationship. And then sometimes I feel like the dad and the wait, what what&#39;s I I&#39;ve lost point of my. You&#39;re getting lost in your own metaphor, boo-boo. But there was one time preserver. There was there was one time that um my partner and I were having a you know a little bit of a parenting spat. I made some demand of his, like, why can&#39;t you do more of this? Or why can&#39;t you do more of that? And he said to me, It&#39;s because I&#39;m like the gay uncle. I was like, oh no, you didn&#39;t. David: 10:54 He&#39;s never said that again. Yeah, you you made sure of that. But that but when I say gay superpower, what I mean is that like we as gay people from the outset have to talk things out before we do things. Where there is no kind of there are no existing lanes that we could just default to. And that starts, listen, if I&#39;m gonna go blue, it starts with sex. Totally. There is a default assumption when two a man and a woman go to bed, what is going to physically happen. When two men go to bed together, there has to be some sort of discussion because there is no default, right? And I think that goes all as as silly as that sounds, it goes all the way up to parenting, where I feel like if nobody said anything, there is a somewhat default nature to who does what in a heterosexual parent parenthood. But for two men who when you say the mom things and the dad things, first of all, we uh uh inevitably get to kind of misogyny, right? Of like, this is what the woman does. Totally. But who does, who picks up the kids, who is maybe uh more of the taskmaster, who spends more time at work, who is the one who cuddles them to bed, who is the one who buys the groceries and cooks the food and does there&#39;s all of these things that there is no default for. So when two men start raising babies, all of a sudden these tasks are are moved around, and then that question comes up of like, who&#39;s the mom? And then as you know, it&#39;s hard to define because when I think about our our our family structure, my husband is probably more than nine to fiver worker, and I have more time. So when kids are sick or they need to pick up and drop off cooking food, I do that stuff. So am I the mom? Right, but then there&#39;s other things that it it flips and flops. So that whole like vernacular of who&#39;s the mom is so fucking stupid, yeah, so misogynistic. It is so we don&#39;t need to use that, but it but it comes up all the time. People ask us all the time. Gavin: 12:48 And people, especially when they&#39;re curious and genuinely curious, they they love us, they they support us, et cetera, et cetera, and they might be making the joke like so who&#39;s the mom? It one, it I really think that there is inherent misogyny in there because it&#39;s kind of like who&#39;s the sub I subservient one, who&#39;s the one stuck home, who&#39;s the one uh picking up after everything else, and therefore less important than the one out making the money, I suppose. David: 13:12 So that&#39;s what I mean is that there&#39;s this inherent misogyny, even in how I feel like uh we as gay people kind of treat uh sex in a way. I keep going to sex, am I like super horny today? What&#39;s going on? But when we talk about like it is Thursday, I feel like it is Thursday, uh sexy Thursday, I believe is what they call it. But but when I think there is an inherent kind of um uh more negative view towards gay men who bottom than top. And it is rooted in misogyny in that like if you are the one receiving, yeah, if you are the one who is doing the woman thing, then you are inherently less valuable or less respected than the man. And it is so we do this as gay men, right? We we we there is that tone in I think in in the gay world, and and I hate that for us, right? Like, but I want in parenting, it just it can&#39;t exist because we can&#39;t maybe some gay couples do divide the worlds exactly how they&#39;re traditionally done in heterosexual land, but it&#39;s I don&#39;t think it&#39;s possible as two men to do that, which I...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week, we talk about kindness, especially as it relates to Wendy’s, gender roles in gay parenting, and we speak with a real life Elle Woods, Beth Wolfsong, and chat about gay parenting’s legal ramifications.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And she lives in Portland, Oregon. She owns her own lawyer place. Gavin: 0:10 What is law firm? David: 0:13 I&#39;ve watched Legally Blonde enough you think I know how to say law firm. And this is Gatriarchs. And I was thinking, you can&#39;t be mean to Alexa. Like, but but why not? Right? Because I realized that we yell at her the same way. If she does something wrong, we&#39;re like, turn the volume up. Like we are mad at her. And he&#39;s emulating that. And I was like, oh shit. Do I have to watch how I talk to the robots in my house? Gavin: 1:11 Oh, they really do. I mean, of course they&#39;re listening to us all the time. They mean the kids and obviously the robots. But does she ever talk back to you or talk back to your kids? David: 1:21 Do you know what I discovered the other day? I went into the bedroom and it&#39;s next to my kids&#39; bedroom. So I didn&#39;t want to be loud because they were sleeping. So I kind of whispered. I was like, hey, Alexa, turn on the bedroom lights. And her response was okay. It was terrifying. The fact that she mimicked my whisper to me, but as a robot. But anyway, so I was just thinking about kindness because I I feel like we are kind people. You and I, this is why we get along. Like we&#39;re we&#39;re whoever we are, but like we&#39;re inherently, I think, good people and kind people. Gavin: 1:59 But also, and also bitchy though, like bitchy at the right time and critical and judgmental at the right time. David: 2:05 Horrible, but nice. But kind. Um, and I was thinking about there are certain kinds of kindness that really make me want to walk into traffic. And and I was thinking about this at Wendy&#39;s. Hold on, the story will make sense. Okay. So I was at Wendy&#39;s for the eighth time this week. And there&#39;s yeah, there&#39;s a guy who works at Wendy&#39;s, nice guy, and he&#39;s the one who takes the money. He&#39;s the first window. And every time I see him, he goes, Hey, how you doing? I say, Good. I hand him my card. He looks back, he&#39;s like, having a good day? I said, Yeah. He does the thing, he gives me my receipt. He goes, Did I make your day better? I said, Yeah, I yeah, I guess. He was like, Good, because that&#39;s what I want to do. Make your day better, okay? And he gives me a big thumbs up. And I&#39;m like, I&#39;m gonna run this car into the building now. And I&#39;m like, why do I feel why do I feel such anger at this man who&#39;s trying to be kind? Gavin: 2:59 And yes, you he brings out the unkindness in you through his just oh I mean, it&#39;s a little burdensome, frankly, to to ask him to he has no idea how your day is going. I mean, maybe you just like ran over a squirrel and you feel terrible, but he&#39;s not somebody you know, so you&#39;re not gonna respond to him and say, actually, I&#39;m having a really terrible day. You&#39;re like, I&#39;m just trying to get my burger for the eighth time this week. Don&#39;t you already know me? You should know that I&#39;m pretty consistently like crabby and haggard. David: 3:26 What I really want to say to him or somebody like that is like when he&#39;s like, Hey, how you doing? Be like, I shed a little bit of blood this morning, kind of worried, can go see my gastroenterologist. And uh, yeah, my uh my bank cold, and I think we&#39;re gonna lose the house. And you know, my kids, my kid&#39;s grandmother just died, and um, and it just like lay everything I can on him, just really lay it in on him and and start cryin]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[This week, we talk about kindness, especially as it relates to Wendy’s, gender roles in gay parenting, and we speak with a real life Elle Woods, Beth Wolfsong, and chat about gay parenting’s legal ramifications.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM 📝 Episode Transcript David: 0:00 And she lives in Portland, Oregon. She owns her own lawyer place. Gavin: 0:10 What is law firm? David: 0:13 I&#39;ve watched Legally Blonde enough you think I know how to say law firm. And this is Gatriarchs. And I was thinking, you can&#39;t be mean to Alexa. Like, but but why not? Right? Because I realized that we yell at her the same way. If she does something wrong, we&#39;re like, turn the volume up. Like we are mad at her. And he&#39;s emulating that. And I was like, oh shit. Do I have ]]></googleplay:description>
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	<title>The one with Craig Ramsay</title>
	<link>https://gaytriarchs.com/podcast/the-one-with-craig-ramsay/</link>
	<pubDate>Tue, 07 Mar 2023 03:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
	<dc:creator><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></dc:creator>
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	<description><![CDATA[For our premiere episode, we talk about who the hell we think we are, what the hell we think we are doing, and are joined by the best ass below 14th street, Craig Ramsay, to talk non-traditional parenting, winning The Amazing Race Canada, and that time he pissed on an entire company of professional dancers.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM https://www.instagram.com/gaytriarchspodcast/ 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_02: 0:01 Wow, it is 9.46 a.m. on Thursday, and Gavin just popped open a bodega Limerita, 8% alcohol, and this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:25 Gatriarchs. What does gatriarchs mean to you? What the hell is this? What are we doing? What have you dragged me into? SPEAKER_02: 0:32 Well, we are the we are gatriarchs, right? We are the heads of our family who are gay and we&#39;re not matriarchs, and we don&#39;t want to be patriarchs. Right. Patriarchs. unknown: 0:46 Right? SPEAKER_02: 0:46 I think it&#39;s genius. It feels like a fun, authoritative position that doesn&#39;t step on any other people. Like I feel like when you say, like, I&#39;m the patriarch of the family, that feels like the little woman&#39;s at home, which we don&#39;t like. And if I&#39;m the matriarch, we&#39;re not women, it just doesn&#39;t feel right, but like gatriarchs, we are gatriarch. We are the heads of the gay families. We&#39;re like the crime bosses of the gay world. The alphabet mafia. SPEAKER_01: 1:11 I mean, we are definitely tapping down crime one spilled milk at a time. So I think that that makes perfect sense. And I don&#39;t want to pat myself on the back, which I can&#39;t because you&#39;re the one who came up with this, but I think that we have you, you, David FM Vaughn, FM, can I call you D F V M? DFV, DFMV, DFMV. People call me FM. FM. Hi, what is your last name again? Nice to meet you, FM. It&#39;s the best grinder date I&#39;ve ever been on. This is a this is a whole new subset of sociology, and I think it makes uh perfect sense, and I can&#39;t wait to like forge this path. SPEAKER_02: 1:48 Okay, so Gavin, I realize that nobody knows who we are. SPEAKER_01: 1:51 Nobody knows who the fuck we are. No. SPEAKER_02: 1:53 No. Except between like maybe like 41st and 46th Street, between like 9th and 6th Avenue, nobody knows who we are. So all of those porn shops up and down uh 9th Avenue. They know who we are. Yeah. Every time I go pick up my check, they know who I are. So let&#39;s do a quick, quick intro of who we are. So I&#39;m gonna start. So, all right, hi, hi, hi everyone. My name is David. Um, I am a father of two. I have two kids. I have a three and a half-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl via Gestational Surrogacy. Um, I spent the majority of my life as a uh actor, Broadway, TV, film, you know, all the things. Um, and then about 10 years ago, I said, I don&#39;t know if I want to do that anymore. So I started writing and directing, and now I&#39;m writing for TV and directing a whole bunch of stuff, and uh yeah, I fucking love it. And now, hey, now I can say professional podcaster to my rescue. SPEAKER_01: 2:42 Gavin, who the fuck are you? I mean, I&#39;m questioning that every single day of my life, let me tell you. I am originally from Colorado. I studied international affairs at the University of Colorado, wanted to go be a diplomat, and then I got distracted with um theater, and I well, actually, I got distracted by politics, went and worked on a political um presidential race, which was super cool. And then um totally his his nascent way before the presidential races, presidential races uh in the early aughts. Anyway, and then um I chucked that and thought politics took everything out of me. I&#39;m gonna go do something really fun. So I uh literally grabbed a guitar and tap shoes, moved to New York City, and thought, I&#39;m gonna go give this a try. And I was uh really lucky, had a really, really fun time in New York City doing um some shows, some tours a couple times on Broadway, some uh one-bit liners in TV occasionally, and then uh the whole time I was thinking, I&#39;m having a lot of fun doing this, but I feel like there&#39;s something else I&#39;m supposed to be doing, um, especially when I my partner and I had kids, and um, which, by the way, are now nine and eleven years old. And then here comes the international pandemic, and that forced us to make some choices, and now I am actually uh running an arts advocacy organization called 4A Arts, the American Alliance of Artists and Audiences, and I am hoping to build it up into I&#39;ll just cut to the chase, the NRA of arts and culture. I want to change the American narrative around arts and culture and change how Congress funds it. Um And now you&#39;re a career woman. And now I&#39;m a career woman, but I&#39;ve always wanted to be on a podcast or host a podcast because ultimately what I really want to do, speaking of being a career woman, is I won&#39;t just want to be Terry Gross. I just I just want to be Terry Gross when I grow. SPEAKER_02: 4:25 I want that for you. So I think before we move on to our next topic, I think we need to do some speed dating. So we have prepared five questions. SPEAKER_01: 4:32 I mean, I didn&#39;t prepare. What are you talking about? This is just totally off the s uh off the cuff. SPEAKER_02: 4:37 No, but we don&#39;t know each other&#39;s questions. True. So this is real. This is we&#39;re gonna go as fast as we can. I&#39;m gonna ask Gavin five questions, shotgun style, first answer that comes to your head. Are you ready? SPEAKER_01: 4:47 Uh, this kind of thing makes me so anxious because I&#39;m just afraid I&#39;m not gonna be funny. SPEAKER_02: 4:52 Yeah, you&#39;re just gonna be tall. I&#39;m just the tall guy. And here we go. Ready? SPEAKER_01: 4:56 Mm-hmm. SPEAKER_02: 4:57 Favorite fast food restaurant. SPEAKER_01: 4:59 McDonald&#39;s. Favorite musical. I want to say legal blonde, but I know that that&#39;s yours too. Uh, what could I see? Oh rent, rent, rent. GPA in high school. 3.999. So pissed about that. Starbucks order. Uh iced vanilla dopio. SPEAKER_02: 5:15 Guy you&#39;d leave your family for. Um George Clooney. Ding! Just under the buzzer. Good job, good job. Good five. Good to get to know you. SPEAKER_01: 5:25 Um, what&#39;s your sign? Scorpio. Where would you go tomorrow if you could just pick up with or without kids and go for an adventure? Not sitting on a beach, an adventure. SPEAKER_02: 5:33 Uh hiking through the um hiking through the highlands of Scotland. SPEAKER_01: 5:37 Potato chips or chocolate? SPEAKER_02: 5:38 Chocolate. SPEAKER_01: 5:39 Dive bar or sexy club? Dive bar. Can you give us your your go-to 16 bars, please? Come on. Come on. You have to answer. SPEAKER_02: 5:53 Use what you got from the life. SPEAKER_01: 5:55 Oh, it&#39;s uh that was uh that was how did you do that? SPEAKER_02: 5:58 That has literally that has literally book that has literally booked almost every show I&#39;ve ever been. All the way down to you know college. SPEAKER_01: 6:07 I don&#39;t think it ever got me a job, but I used to use it. But did you use the 16 bars of just the high notes at the end? The whole thing. 16 bars of high notes. SPEAKER_02: 6:15 Yeah, it was technically 32. It was just like a like and then it just yeah, then then the ending part, yeah. Um but you&#39;re not it was you&#39;re not doing it for us though. That&#39;s what I mean. Absolutely not never in a million years. Um but it was the it&#39;s this perfect, it&#39;s like it&#39;s upbeat, it&#39;s jazzy, but it could be contemporary, but it&#39;s a classic. It&#39;s and it it it makes a baritone sound like a tenor. I mean, it is the perfect lie song, and it booked me all my jobs. So um all right, well, that was super fun. I learned a lot about Gavin, which I did not know. But listen, we&#39;re parents, and parents need some sort of vice, I guess is the right word, but like every parent needs uh something. Alcohol, it could be pot, it could be for those fucking assholes running. Fuck you and your six-pack abs. If I if every time I was stressed, I went for a run. Yeah, you I would not be doing this stupid fucking podcast. I would be shirtless on Santa Monica Boulevard. SPEAKER_01: 7:10 All day long. Yeah. Fri a wait, Friday, for what is You&#39;re too old to say that word. Please don&#39;t say that again. Okay, cut that. Um being real, I uh I remember way back when I was first a dad. I remember sitting around trying not to look at my phone with a toddler who was playing with Thomas the Train, organizing her Thomas the Trains just in order of color and largest, smallest and blah blah blah, trying not to look at my phone because I felt like I hey, these are the I I I really wanted this to happen. I invested in this, right? I wanted it to happen. I want to sit with her and just watch her do her trains. And oh my god, it&#39;s so mindless and mind, just absolutely mindless and mind-numbing. And while I was there, in the time that I was wanting to put my phone down, I was still scrolling through the the New York Times and I found an op-ed about a guy who said, I am such a better dad now that I smoke pot. And I thought, huh. And I read it, and it was all about him being like, you know what? Frankly, in my experience, I&#39;m much more focused, I&#39;m calmer, I don&#39;t need to look at my phone, I&#39;m I zone in with my kid, and I thought, that&#39;s so interesting. Could that be me? And uh I actually have not experimented. I was not toking up with the two-year-old at nine o&#39;clock in the morning, organizing Thomas the Train. Instead, I am um Lima Rita, Lima Bodega on Ninth Avenue at 9 a.m. SPEAKER_02: 8:27 Yes, yes. But here&#39;s the thing here&#39;s two things I always tell people about parenting, and and it I think are like my secret powers is one is either be a hundred percent with your daughter watching her play with trains with no phone or be totally out. Because the try to be try to straddle the two, try to be like, oh yeah, that&#39;s really good, honey, while you&#39;re trying to check your email or answer a work call is a fucking nightmare. Yeah. And I think it&#39;s actually better for them if you are just out of the room doing something separate or 100% in. And the other thing I always say is, and this is my only piece of parenting advice, although trust me, you&#39;re gonna hear a lot of it, is prioritize yourself. And that sounds crazy. Oh my god, you&#39;re prior over kids, prioritizing yourself and your mental health and just your your spirit, it&#39;s like putting your mask on before you put the mask on others. You have to be in good shape to be a good parent. So if you&#39;re burnt out, you&#39;re unhappy, you&#39;re bitter, you&#39;re jaded, you are a terrible parent, whether you&#39;re there or not. But if you prioritize yourself, and I don&#39;t mean like don&#39;t feed your kids or you know, don&#39;t don&#39;t don&#39;t protect them. That&#39;s not what I mean. I mean if you need three hours to yourself a week to go do whatever, and that literally can mean whatever, make that the priority first. SPEAKER_01: 9:43 So is this actually something that you practice yourself? Because I&#39;ve heard this advice for a long time. You absolutely have to prioritize you yourself, you need to prioritize your relationship. You need to be able to reconnect. I&#39;m terrible at it. SPEAKER_02: 9:53 I don&#39;t give a fuck about my husband. He can go fuck himself. But yes, no, I I do we do this in practice. So good. Every Sunday for four hours, we get a babysitter. Now, sometimes that doesn&#39;t happen, right? Sometimes there&#39;s just no babysitters available, sometimes we have other plans, sometimes we just forget. But we try every Sunday to have a four-hour block that&#39;s just us, neither of us are working. We have a babysitter, and we can go do anything we want. It can be super fancy, like massages, or it could be just seeing avatar, or just honestly going to the basement and just like hanging out watching TV, which sounds crazy, right? You&#39;re getting a babysitter just so you can watch TV in a different room of the house. SPEAKER_03: 10:30 Yes. Yes, yes. SPEAKER_02: 10:31 Because I have two kids under four, and there are times when you just like, I could throw this one out the window right now, and no one would know. And that is not a great place to be. It is a common place to be. Absolutely. We&#39;ve all considered throwing our infant out the window. Disclaimer. However, because of that, prioritizing yourself, putting your mask on before you put the mask on others will make you a better parent. And instead of sitting in front of your kid playing trains and just thinking, God damn it, goddammit, goddammit, you can be active and participating in their life because you recharged yourself. You prioritized yourself. What is your piece of advice? SPEAKER_01: 11:07 Oh, no, no, I&#39;m coming back to your piece of advice because I can&#39;t get past the fact that it is a Sunday afternoon that you&#39;re prioritizing for your babysitting time. I mean, how old do you feel when you&#39;re like, oh, it&#39;s a Sunday afternoon? And guess what? I am thrilled that it&#39;s a Sunday afternoon because I don&#39;t have time for a Friday night babysitter. unknown: 11:24 Fuck that. SPEAKER_01: 11:25 I&#39;m asleep at 9.15. SPEAKER_02: 11:28 You think I&#39;m not watching Nailed It and Falling Asleep at 9.15 in my bed? Right. You&#39;re crazy. SPEAKER_03: 11:33 Mm-hmm. SPEAKER_01: 11:34 Sunday afternoons, you it does bring it around to the good old days, doesn&#39;t it? The so-called good old days, that you think a Sunday afternoon is really gonna be like that&#39;s you need your stroll time, you need your cruising time, you need your Sunday afternoon time, just like it&#39;s a jazz song from the 1920s. You&#39;re you&#39;re so young. SPEAKER_02: 11:53 You&#39;re just a young thing, aren&#39;t you? Such a whipper snapper. All right, so let&#39;s move into our top three. So this week is my week, and I chose top three worst pieces of advice you&#39;ve received as a parent. So you and I both get nonstop unsolicited advice as parents. Nonstop. And so I wanted to organize what are the top three absolute worst pieces of advice you&#39;ve received. SPEAKER_01: 12:16 Okay, can I go first? I go first. And then you go after. We&#39;re gonna go back. Okay. Uh-huh. Mine, I think, all have to do with heat or being hot. Okay. Work with me. Somebody said to me one time I know this is gonna seem indulgent and silly, but you should absolutely get a wet wipes warmer. So we got a wet wipes warmer. Let me tell you, that was the dumbest piece of shit. We we returned it. Thank you, Target. Thank you, babies RS. We returned it because that is just nonsensical. I mean, yes, the idea that your baby oh, if any of us feels a little cold swipe down there, it is a little bit of a surprise. But the sooner your baby can put up with a cold swipe, the sooner they&#39;re not gonna freak out about it. Worst advice warm wet wipes warmer. What about you? SPEAKER_02: 12:56 Fully agree with that. I feel the same way about bottle warmers. Give it to a cold from give it to them cold from the beginning and they will be used to it. SPEAKER_01: 13:03 My baby had ice cubes in their baby formula one uh in their bait breast milk that we used one time. And I was like, oh, there&#39;s ice in here. Oh well. And sh she definitely I could see a little newborn reaction, but then she just used to it and now it&#39;s got a milkshake. SPEAKER_02: 13:22 Okay, so my third worst piece of advice don&#39;t wake a sleeping baby. And here&#39;s why. SPEAKER_01: 13:27 Okay. SPEAKER_02: 13:28 I want to know when bedtime is, when the nap is, I want to know, as the baby does, when our schedule happens. So I know that at 8 15 p.m. both kids are asleep, and I can take a gummy and watch the White Lotus. So if the baby is sleeping too late, all I do in my head is go, now bedtime is an hour later, and then the next morning you&#39;re gonna sleep in late, which will cause daycare to So I say keep the schedule, keep it rigid. And obviously, if they&#39;re sick, that changes, if you&#39;re going on a vacation...]]></description>
	<itunes:subtitle><![CDATA[For our premiere episode, we talk about who the hell we think we are, what the hell we think we are doing, and are joined by the best ass below 14th street, Craig Ramsay, to talk non-traditional parenting, winning The Amazing Race Canada, and that time h]]></itunes:subtitle>
	<content:encoded><![CDATA[For our premiere episode, we talk about who the hell we think we are, what the hell we think we are doing, and are joined by the best ass below 14th street, Craig Ramsay, to talk non-traditional parenting, winning The Amazing Race Canada, and that time he pissed on an entire company of professional dancers.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM https://www.instagram.com/gaytriarchspodcast/ 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_02: 0:01 Wow, it is 9.46 a.m. on Thursday, and Gavin just popped open a bodega Limerita, 8% alcohol, and this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:25 Gatriarchs. What does gatriarchs mean to you? What the hell is this? What are we doing? What have you dragged me into? SPEAKER_02: 0:32 Well, we are the we are gatriarchs, right? We are the heads of our family who are gay and we&#39;re not matriarchs, and we don&#39;t want to be patriarchs. Right. Patriarchs. unknown: 0:46 Right? SPEAKER_02: 0:46 I think it&#39;s genius. It feels like a fun, authoritative position that doesn&#39;t step on any other people. Like I feel like when you say, like, I&#39;m the patriarch of the family, that feels like the little woman&#39;s at home, which we don&#39;t like. And if I&#39;m the matriarch, we&#39;re not women, it just doesn&#39;t feel right, but like gatriarchs, we are gatriarch. We are the heads of the gay families. We&#39;re like the crime bosses of the gay world. The alphabet mafia. SPEAKER_01: 1:11 I mean, we are definitely tapping down crime one spilled milk at a time. So I think that that makes perfect sense. And I don&#39;t want to pat myself on the back, which I can&#39;t because you&#39;re the one who came up with this, but I think that we have you, you, David FM Vaughn, FM, can I call you D F V M? DFV, DFMV, DFMV. People call me FM. FM. Hi, what is your last name again? Nice to meet you, FM. It&#39;s the best grinder date I&#39;ve ever been on. This is a this is a whole new subset of sociology, and I think it makes uh perfect sense, and I can&#39;t wait to like forge this path. SPEAKER_02: 1:48 Okay, so Gavin, I realize that nobody knows who we are. SPEAKER_01: 1:51 Nobody knows who the fuck we are. No. SPEAKER_02: 1:53 No. Except between like maybe like 41st and 46th Street, between like 9th and 6th Avenue, nobody knows who we are. So all of those porn shops up and down uh 9th Avenue. They know who we are. Yeah. Every time I go pick up my check, they know who I are. So let&#39;s do a quick, quick intro of who we are. So I&#39;m gonna start. So, all right, hi, hi, hi everyone. My name is David. Um, I am a father of two. I have two kids. I have a three and a half-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl via Gestational Surrogacy. Um, I spent the majority of my life as a uh actor, Broadway, TV, film, you know, all the things. Um, and then about 10 years ago, I said, I don&#39;t know if I want to do that anymore. So I started writing and directing, and now I&#39;m writing for TV and directing a whole bunch of stuff, and uh yeah, I fucking love it. And now, hey, now I can say professional podcaster to my rescue. SPEAKER_01: 2:42 Gavin, who the fuck are you? I mean, I&#39;m questioning that every single day of my life, let me tell you. I am originally from Colorado. I studied international affairs at the University of Colorado, wanted to go be a diplomat, and then I got distracted with um theater, and I well, actually, I got distracted by politics, went and worked on a political um presidential race, which was super cool. And then um totally his his nascent way before the presidential races, presidential races uh in the early aughts. Anyway, and then um I chucked that and thought politics took everything out of me. I&#39;m gonna go do something really fun. So I uh literally grabbed a guitar and tap shoes, moved to New York City, and thought, I&#39;m gonna go give this a try. And I was uh really lucky, had a really, really fun time in New York City doing um some shows, some tours a couple times on Broadway, some uh one-bit liners in TV occasionally, and then uh the whole time I was thinking, I&#39;m having a lot of fun doing this, but I feel like there&#39;s something else I&#39;m supposed to be doing, um, especially when I my partner and I had kids, and um, which, by the way, are now nine and eleven years old. And then here comes the international pandemic, and that forced us to make some choices, and now I am actually uh running an arts advocacy organization called 4A Arts, the American Alliance of Artists and Audiences, and I am hoping to build it up into I&#39;ll just cut to the chase, the NRA of arts and culture. I want to change the American narrative around arts and culture and change how Congress funds it. Um And now you&#39;re a career woman. And now I&#39;m a career woman, but I&#39;ve always wanted to be on a podcast or host a podcast because ultimately what I really want to do, speaking of being a career woman, is I won&#39;t just want to be Terry Gross. I just I just want to be Terry Gross when I grow. SPEAKER_02: 4:25 I want that for you. So I think before we move on to our next topic, I think we need to do some speed dating. So we have prepared five questions. SPEAKER_01: 4:32 I mean, I didn&#39;t prepare. What are you talking about? This is just totally off the s uh off the cuff. SPEAKER_02: 4:37 No, but we don&#39;t know each other&#39;s questions. True. So this is real. This is we&#39;re gonna go as fast as we can. I&#39;m gonna ask Gavin five questions, shotgun style, first answer that comes to your head. Are you ready? SPEAKER_01: 4:47 Uh, this kind of thing makes me so anxious because I&#39;m just afraid I&#39;m not gonna be funny. SPEAKER_02: 4:52 Yeah, you&#39;re just gonna be tall. I&#39;m just the tall guy. And here we go. Ready? SPEAKER_01: 4:56 Mm-hmm. SPEAKER_02: 4:57 Favorite fast food restaurant. SPEAKER_01: 4:59 McDonald&#39;s. Favorite musical. I want to say legal blonde, but I know that that&#39;s yours too. Uh, what could I see? Oh rent, rent, rent. GPA in high school. 3.999. So pissed about that. Starbucks order. Uh iced vanilla dopio. SPEAKER_02: 5:15 Guy you&#39;d leave your family for. Um George Clooney. Ding! Just under the buzzer. Good job, good job. Good five. Good to get to know you. SPEAKER_01: 5:25 Um, what&#39;s your sign? Scorpio. Where would you go tomorrow if you could just pick up with or without kids and go for an adventure? Not sitting on a beach, an adventure. SPEAKER_02: 5:33 Uh hiking through the um hiking through the highlands of Scotland. SPEAKER_01: 5:37 Potato chips or chocolate? SPEAKER_02: 5:38 Chocolate. SPEAKER_01: 5:39 Dive bar or sexy club? Dive bar. Can you give us your your go-to 16 bars, please? Come on. Come on. You have to answer. SPEAKER_02: 5:53 Use what you got from the life. SPEAKER_01: 5:55 Oh, it&#39;s uh that was uh that was how did you do that? SPEAKER_02: 5:58 That has literally that has literally book that has literally booked almost every show I&#39;ve ever been. All the way down to you know college. SPEAKER_01: 6:07 I don&#39;t think it ever got me a job, but I used to use it. But did you use the 16 bars of just the high notes at the end? The whole thing. 16 bars of high notes. SPEAKER_02: 6:15 Yeah, it was technically 32. It was just like a like and then it just yeah, then then the ending part, yeah. Um but you&#39;re not it was you&#39;re not doing it for us though. That&#39;s what I mean. Absolutely not never in a million years. Um but it was the it&#39;s this perfect, it&#39;s like it&#39;s upbeat, it&#39;s jazzy, but it could be contemporary, but it&#39;s a classic. It&#39;s and it it it makes a baritone sound like a tenor. I mean, it is the perfect lie song, and it booked me all my jobs. So um all right, well, that was super fun. I learned a lot about Gavin, which I did not know. But listen, we&#39;re parents, and parents need some sort of vice, I guess is the right word, but like every parent needs uh something. Alcohol, it could be pot, it could be for those fucking assholes running. Fuck you and your six-pack abs. If I if every time I was stressed, I went for a run. Yeah, you I would not be doing this stupid fucking podcast. I would be shirtless on Santa Monica Boulevard. SPEAKER_01: 7:10 All day long. Yeah. Fri a wait, Friday, for what is You&#39;re too old to say that word. Please don&#39;t say that again. Okay, cut that. Um being real, I uh I remember way back when I was first a dad. I remember sitting around trying not to look at my phone with a toddler who was playing with Thomas the Train, organizing her Thomas the Trains just in order of color and largest, smallest and blah blah blah, trying not to look at my phone because I felt like I hey, these are the I I I really wanted this to happen. I invested in this, right? I wanted it to happen. I want to sit with her and just watch her do her trains. And oh my god, it&#39;s so mindless and mind, just absolutely mindless and mind-numbing. And while I was there, in the time that I was wanting to put my phone down, I was still scrolling through the the New York Times and I found an op-ed about a guy who said, I am such a better dad now that I smoke pot. And I thought, huh. And I read it, and it was all about him being like, you know what? Frankly, in my experience, I&#39;m much more focused, I&#39;m calmer, I don&#39;t need to look at my phone, I&#39;m I zone in with my kid, and I thought, that&#39;s so interesting. Could that be me? And uh I actually have not experimented. I was not toking up with the two-year-old at nine o&#39;clock in the morning, organizing Thomas the Train. Instead, I am um Lima Rita, Lima Bodega on Ninth Avenue at 9 a.m. SPEAKER_02: 8:27 Yes, yes. But here&#39;s the thing here&#39;s two things I always tell people about parenting, and and it I think are like my secret powers is one is either be a hundred percent with your daughter watching her play with trains with no phone or be totally out. Because the try to be try to straddle the two, try to be like, oh yeah, that&#39;s really good, honey, while you&#39;re trying to check your email or answer a work call is a fucking nightmare. Yeah. And I think it&#39;s actually better for them if you are just out of the room doing something separate or 100% in. And the other thing I always say is, and this is my only piece of parenting advice, although trust me, you&#39;re gonna hear a lot of it, is prioritize yourself. And that sounds crazy. Oh my god, you&#39;re prior over kids, prioritizing yourself and your mental health and just your your spirit, it&#39;s like putting your mask on before you put the mask on others. You have to be in good shape to be a good parent. So if you&#39;re burnt out, you&#39;re unhappy, you&#39;re bitter, you&#39;re jaded, you are a terrible parent, whether you&#39;re there or not. But if you prioritize yourself, and I don&#39;t mean like don&#39;t feed your kids or you know, don&#39;t don&#39;t don&#39;t protect them. That&#39;s not what I mean. I mean if you need three hours to yourself a week to go do whatever, and that literally can mean whatever, make that the priority first. SPEAKER_01: 9:43 So is this actually something that you practice yourself? Because I&#39;ve heard this advice for a long time. You absolutely have to prioritize you yourself, you need to prioritize your relationship. You need to be able to reconnect. I&#39;m terrible at it. SPEAKER_02: 9:53 I don&#39;t give a fuck about my husband. He can go fuck himself. But yes, no, I I do we do this in practice. So good. Every Sunday for four hours, we get a babysitter. Now, sometimes that doesn&#39;t happen, right? Sometimes there&#39;s just no babysitters available, sometimes we have other plans, sometimes we just forget. But we try every Sunday to have a four-hour block that&#39;s just us, neither of us are working. We have a babysitter, and we can go do anything we want. It can be super fancy, like massages, or it could be just seeing avatar, or just honestly going to the basement and just like hanging out watching TV, which sounds crazy, right? You&#39;re getting a babysitter just so you can watch TV in a different room of the house. SPEAKER_03: 10:30 Yes. Yes, yes. SPEAKER_02: 10:31 Because I have two kids under four, and there are times when you just like, I could throw this one out the window right now, and no one would know. And that is not a great place to be. It is a common place to be. Absolutely. We&#39;ve all considered throwing our infant out the window. Disclaimer. However, because of that, prioritizing yourself, putting your mask on before you put the mask on others will make you a better parent. And instead of sitting in front of your kid playing trains and just thinking, God damn it, goddammit, goddammit, you can be active and participating in their life because you recharged yourself. You prioritized yourself. What is your piece of advice? SPEAKER_01: 11:07 Oh, no, no, I&#39;m coming back to your piece of advice because I can&#39;t get past the fact that it is a Sunday afternoon that you&#39;re prioritizing for your babysitting time. I mean, how old do you feel when you&#39;re like, oh, it&#39;s a Sunday afternoon? And guess what? I am thrilled that it&#39;s a Sunday afternoon because I don&#39;t have time for a Friday night babysitter. unknown: 11:24 Fuck that. SPEAKER_01: 11:25 I&#39;m asleep at 9.15. SPEAKER_02: 11:28 You think I&#39;m not watching Nailed It and Falling Asleep at 9.15 in my bed? Right. You&#39;re crazy. SPEAKER_03: 11:33 Mm-hmm. SPEAKER_01: 11:34 Sunday afternoons, you it does bring it around to the good old days, doesn&#39;t it? The so-called good old days, that you think a Sunday afternoon is really gonna be like that&#39;s you need your stroll time, you need your cruising time, you need your Sunday afternoon time, just like it&#39;s a jazz song from the 1920s. You&#39;re you&#39;re so young. SPEAKER_02: 11:53 You&#39;re just a young thing, aren&#39;t you? Such a whipper snapper. All right, so let&#39;s move into our top three. So this week is my week, and I chose top three worst pieces of advice you&#39;ve received as a parent. So you and I both get nonstop unsolicited advice as parents. Nonstop. And so I wanted to organize what are the top three absolute worst pieces of advice you&#39;ve received. SPEAKER_01: 12:16 Okay, can I go first? I go first. And then you go after. We&#39;re gonna go back. Okay. Uh-huh. Mine, I think, all have to do with heat or being hot. Okay. Work with me. Somebody said to me one time I know this is gonna seem indulgent and silly, but you should absolutely get a wet wipes warmer. So we got a wet wipes warmer. Let me tell you, that was the dumbest piece of shit. We we returned it. Thank you, Target. Thank you, babies RS. We returned it because that is just nonsensical. I mean, yes, the idea that your baby oh, if any of us feels a little cold swipe down there, it is a little bit of a surprise. But the sooner your baby can put up with a cold swipe, the sooner they&#39;re not gonna freak out about it. Worst advice warm wet wipes warmer. What about you? SPEAKER_02: 12:56 Fully agree with that. I feel the same way about bottle warmers. Give it to a cold from give it to them cold from the beginning and they will be used to it. SPEAKER_01: 13:03 My baby had ice cubes in their baby formula one uh in their bait breast milk that we used one time. And I was like, oh, there&#39;s ice in here. Oh well. And sh she definitely I could see a little newborn reaction, but then she just used to it and now it&#39;s got a milkshake. SPEAKER_02: 13:22 Okay, so my third worst piece of advice don&#39;t wake a sleeping baby. And here&#39;s why. SPEAKER_01: 13:27 Okay. SPEAKER_02: 13:28 I want to know when bedtime is, when the nap is, I want to know, as the baby does, when our schedule happens. So I know that at 8 15 p.m. both kids are asleep, and I can take a gummy and watch the White Lotus. So if the baby is sleeping too late, all I do in my head is go, now bedtime is an hour later, and then the next morning you&#39;re gonna sleep in late, which will cause daycare to So I say keep the schedule, keep it rigid. And obviously, if they&#39;re sick, that changes, if you&#39;re going on a vacation...]]></content:encoded>
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	<itunes:summary><![CDATA[For our premiere episode, we talk about who the hell we think we are, what the hell we think we are doing, and are joined by the best ass below 14th street, Craig Ramsay, to talk non-traditional parenting, winning The Amazing Race Canada, and that time he pissed on an entire company of professional dancers.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM https://www.instagram.com/gaytriarchspodcast/ 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_02: 0:01 Wow, it is 9.46 a.m. on Thursday, and Gavin just popped open a bodega Limerita, 8% alcohol, and this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:25 Gatriarchs. What does gatriarchs mean to you? What the hell is this? What are we doing? What have you dragged me into? SPEAKER_02: 0:32 Well, we are the we are gatriarchs, right? We are the heads of our family who are gay and we&#39;re not matriarchs, and we don&#39;t want to be patriarchs. Right. Patriarchs. unknown: 0:46 Right? SPEAKER_02: 0:46 I think it&#39;s genius. It feels like a fun, authoritative position that doesn&#39;t step on any other people. Like I feel like when you say, like, I&#39;m the patriarch of the family, that feels like the little woman&#39;s at home, which we don&#39;t like. And if I&#39;m the matriarch, we&#39;re not women, it just doesn&#39;t feel right, but like gatriarchs, we are gatriarch. We are the heads of the gay families. We&#39;re like the crime bosses of the gay world. The alphabet mafia. SPEAKER_01: 1:11 I mean, we are definitely tapping down crime one spilled milk at a time. So I think that that makes perfect sense. And I don&#39;t want to pat myself on the back, which I can&#39;t because you&#39;re the one who came up with this, but I think that we have you, you, David FM Vaughn, FM, can I call you D F V M? DFV, DFMV, DFMV. People call me FM. FM. Hi, what is your last name again? Nice to meet you, FM. It&#39;s the best grinder date I&#39;ve ever been on. This is a this is a whole new subset of sociology, and I think it makes uh perfect sense, and I can&#39;t wait to like forge this path. SPEAKER_02: 1:48 Okay, so Gavin, I realize that nobody knows who we are. SPEAKER_01: 1:51 Nobody knows who the fuck we are. No. SPEAKER_02: 1:53 No. Except between like maybe like 41st and 46th Street, between like 9th and 6th Avenue, nobody knows who we are. So all of those porn shops up and down uh 9th Avenue. They know who we are. Yeah. Every time I go pick up my check, they know who I are. So let&#39;s do a quick, quick intro of who we are. So I&#39;m gonna start. So, all right, hi, hi, hi everyone. My name is David. Um, I am a father of two. I have two kids. I have a three and a half-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl via Gestational Surrogacy. Um, I spent the majority of my life as a uh actor, Broadway, TV, film, you know, all the things. Um, and then about 10 years ago, I said, I don&#39;t know if I want to do that anymore. So I started writing and directing, and now I&#39;m writing for TV and directing a whole bunch of stuff, and uh yeah, I fucking love it. And now, hey, now I can say professional podcaster to my rescue. SPEAKER_01: 2:42 Gavin, who the fuck are you? I mean, I&#39;m questioning that every single day of my life, let me tell you. I am originally from Colorado. I studied international affairs at the University of Colorado, wanted to go be a diplomat, and then I got distracted with um theater, and I well, actually, I got distracted by politics, went and worked on a political um presidential race, which was super cool. And then um totally his his nascent way before the presidential races, presidential races uh in the early aughts. Anyway, and then um I chucked that and thought politics took everything out of me. I&#39;m gonna go do something really fun. So I uh literally grabbed a guitar and tap shoes, moved to Ne]]></itunes:summary>
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	<itunes:author><![CDATA[David F.M. Vaughn & Gavin Lodge]]></itunes:author>	<googleplay:description><![CDATA[For our premiere episode, we talk about who the hell we think we are, what the hell we think we are doing, and are joined by the best ass below 14th street, Craig Ramsay, to talk non-traditional parenting, winning The Amazing Race Canada, and that time he pissed on an entire company of professional dancers.  Thanks for listening, please leave a review or rating to help us out! For more content check us out on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @gaytriarchspodcast.  Email us at gaytriarchspodcast@gmail.com Sign up for our newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/isYSsM https://www.instagram.com/gaytriarchspodcast/ 📝 Episode Transcript SPEAKER_02: 0:01 Wow, it is 9.46 a.m. on Thursday, and Gavin just popped open a bodega Limerita, 8% alcohol, and this is Gatriarchs. SPEAKER_01: 0:25 Gatriarchs. What does gatriarchs mean to you? What the hell is this? What are we doing? What have you dragged me into? SPEAKER_02: 0:32 Well, we are the we are gatriarchs, right? We are the heads of our family who ar]]></googleplay:description>
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